#anyways i just wanted to try actual colours again… (<- only makes monochrome stuff)

[holysheithyall]

Boo!!! get ghosted (lol)

[thesunicarusfellfor]

WAIT WAIT— what if 👀 what if Yandere!Tubbo and Yandere!Tommy falling for the reader at the same time

BROO— THE ANGST POSSIBILITIES

ooooooOOOOO DAMN this one is gonna be good! I love the way you think! So I wrote this as headcanons, but I will write this as an actual story if requested. ^^

This is not exactly implied romantic??? I'm still scared about writing their characters as directly romantic????? I'll probably get braver about it but still lowkey worried.

Yandere!C!Tommy x GN!Reader x Yandere!C!Tubbo Headcanon/Fic

Tommy, at first, completely denied even acknowledging your existence.

Until he saw someone interact with you.

Then he would start pulling out his sword or glaring at them from across the room.

He would definitely pin them in an alleyway and threaten every single one of their canon lives.

Tommy, please. Niki was just trying to give you cookies.

He's the kind of Yandere that would greatly keep his distance both physically, emotionally and mentally. Basically, he would be a Tsundere Yandere.

Tubbo, on the other hand, would be extremely sweet to you.

Need netherite? He had an extra few ingots ready in his pockets!

Interacting with someone who wasn't him? Was he not good enough for you??? Fine. You don't deserve him.

He would cry to you and make you feel guilty OR completely ignore you for a week straight until you come crawling back to him and apologizing.

Straight up can flip emotions like a switch.

The first time either of them realized the other liked you as well, was when they were listening to Mellohi on their bench, watching the sunset when they saw you having a conversation with Ranboo at the bottom of the cliff.

"What're they doing talking to him?" Tommy growled lowly and leaned forward to glared at the enderman who was talking to you. He reached for his bow n' arrow before Tubbo grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, "What? I don't want them talking to anyone but me."

"What do you mean 'anyone but you'?! You avoid them like they're a virus!" Tubbo stared at him, digging his fingers into Tommy's bicep a small bit to show his anger a bit more, "They should only be talking to me."

The blond turned towards his brunet friend and yanked his arm out of his grasp, "Excuse me?" He glared into Tubbo's dull blue eyes, gritting his teeth, "You do nothing but give them stuff!"

"And you treat them like shit and avoid them!" The smaller of the two retorted angrily, trying to keep his tone level enough to where you didn't hear.

Mellohi, the music that had been playing mere moments ago, slowly came to a stop and left nothing but silence and tension in the air. You had noticed them arguing from below, but Ranboo (who had heard their entire argument) decided to pull you away from them and bring you to the Tundra.

"Are you trying to take everything from me?!" Tommy tightened his grip on his diamond sword, although part of him knew that if Tubbo equipped his netherite armour, there would be absolutely no competition whatsoever.

"Take things from you?! They're a human being and you choose to ignore that fact when you ignore them or call them terrible names!"

"I treat everyone like that! You already have Ranboo, I don't understand why you're chasing after them with hearts in your eyes when you're fuckin' married! Loyal much! Oh wait, you aren't loyal, you EXILED ME!"

"It's platonic! I told you that already! And you're starting this again now, Tommy?!"

Ranboo actually felt nervous leaving you alone around both Tommy AND/OR Tubbo after hearing their entire argument that day.

Tommy, although now a lot nicer, became extremely clingy towards you and constantly would walk over and drag you away mid-conversation with anyone that wasn't him. ESPECIALLY if you were talking to Tubbo.

Man would bring you everywhere with him if you would let him.

Netherite mining? Get your pick.

To get new discs? Pack your bags, we're going on an adventure.

Straight up does everything he can do to get you away from Tubbo because he's petty.

He tried giving you as many gifts as Tubbo, but mans is broke.

Tubbo would get extremely annoyed by Tommy even just walking through the area when he was with you.

Would start to hold your hand or link arms with you (if you're comfortable), just so Tommy couldn't pull you away as easily.

Started to try guilt-tripping you into living in Snowchester, and even tried to get you to live in the mansion.

Ranboo actually lied to Tubbo, saying he was scared of enderwalking and hurting you, to convince Tubbo not to guilt-trip you further into living in the mansion.

Tubbo's constant gift-giving got so much more extreme.

Want netherite ingots to make armour?

Nope. No lifting a finger.

He already made you fully enchanted netherite god armour anyway.

Has definitely tried to convince Ranboo to let him involve you in the platonic marriage.

"Ranboo! My beloved!" Tubbo called jokingly, walking into their home. He kicked the snow on his boots before pulling down his hood and taking off his hat, hanging it on the hook as he took off his footwear, "I have a proposition for you!"

The monochrome-coloured man lifted his head and set down the journal in his hand, the ink likely still wet judging by the quill in his hand, "Yeah? What's that?" He placed the feathered pen in the pot of ink and turned to face his platonic husband.

"What would you say to extending our marriage to three people? Like a polyamorous relationship. Like Sapnap, Karl and Big Q?" Tubbo sat down in the chair beside him, watching as Ranboo was left reeling for a few seconds.

"W-well, one, I think you mean expanding. Two, with who?!" The tall male sat up quickly, bumping his leg on the table from his minor flailing, "A-and, and, what about Michael? Are you sure they can be trusted with him?"

Tubbo held out his hand to calm his friend down, making his friend put his hands down so he didn't accidentally hit something, "You know what I meant, and (Y/n)! Y'know... Like, the one with (h/l) (h/c) hair, (tall/short)! (Y/n), them!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know who they are, it's just..." He paused to gather his words, glancing away from his friend. In all reality, he wouldn't mind inviting you into the platonic marriage, even if he knew Tubbo felt more romantic feelings towards you. He didn't shut up about it. It was the fact that he was worried about what kind of mental manipulation Tubbo would do to you if you did agree to be in the marriage. Or even what Tommy would do to you or Tubbo!

"...Just?"

'Your relationship with Tommy is beyond screwed already... Imagine what would happen if both of his friends left him to be in a platonic relationship with me. Tubbo, all of us would be in severe danger.' He thought silently before taking a breath. "I-I don't have my enderwalking state under control... I'm already scared for Michael enough, and I don't want to hurt her as well... Give it some time and we'll see. Please.." He whispered, lying through his teeth. Ranboo knew you were damn good at protecting yourself and could knock his long and lanky ass to the dirt within seconds.

Tubbo's bright shiny eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment as his smile began to falter, "Ah... Yeah. I guess that makes sense. For their safety I suppose." His normal look returned and he gave him a smile, "Yeah, that does make a lot of sense. I'll ask again next month to see what happens."

"What... What about Tommy-"

"What about him?" He demanded sharply, his smile vanishing in mere seconds which caught Ranboo off guard yet again, "He doesn't need to be in their life. He would do more harm to them than good!"

Ranboo was left gaping, his mouth moving but not creating any sounds. He watched as Tubbo eyed him carefully before he got up, murmuring something about grabbing food then going to bed.

Once the goat hybrid was completely out of sight, Ranboo reached for his memory book and took the quill again.

'Protect (Y/n) from Tubbo and Tommy. Get them out of DreamSMP.'

Ranboo was scared for you.

He was stuck watching as these crazy two men fought over you, threatened you, manipulated you... It was worrying, to say the least.

Don't get him wrong. If he didn't have an adopted son, a platonic husband that he still cared about despite him being another Dream at this point, and a Syndicate to protect him from, he would've packed everything and ran, bringing you with him.

He was practically walking on eggshells around this man that he had once been extremely close to!

It practically sent shivers down his spine...

Eventually, it got to the point where Ranboo had gone to your house in the ungodly hours of the morning to talk to you.

This man LITERALLY crept into Tubbo's room AND Tommy's house to make sure they were both asleep before going to talk to you.

"Ran... Boo?" You asked, yawning softly as you leaned against the door, your hair all frizzy and messed up, "What's up? It'sssss... Like 5:30am. The sun is barely even up..."

"(Y/n)... Can we go inside? Please... There's something very wrong.." He murmured softly, his memory book tightly held in his grasp as he glanced around. Tommy could be waking up sometime soon, and he did not want to get caught talking to you. He would certainly be down a canon life before he could even say 'sorry'.

You watched the nervous man in front of you and nodded before stepping aside to let him in. Peaking outside, you looked around for what was causing him to panic but went back inside once you didn't see anything. "What's wrong?" Softening your tone, you gestured for him to sit at the table while you made coffee.

Once he had a fresh mug of coffee in front of him, Ranboo slowly began to gather his nerve and speak. He told you everything he could remember, and even opened his memory book to tell you about the things he didn't remember. Everything from the fight where Tommy and Tubbo's friendship completely went downhill a few months ago, to the threats Tubbo used against Tommy, the manipulation against you, the threats he had received by talking to you, and even Tubbo's violent mood switches when talking about you or Tommy.

The entire time, you just sat there wide-eyed as you listened to him ramble on about his fears and worries, and everything in between. He even mentioned wanting to actually divorce Tubbo because of how scared he was for you and his own life. "I don't... Not... Believe you... But this is- this is a little difficult to believe." You knew the enderman hybrid wouldn't lie about something so serious, and he definitely wouldn't be shaking like a leaf if it was a joke or a lie.

"Y-yeah, I expected that... But I really do care about your safety, honestly. You know I wouldn't joke about this kind of thing, especially about Tubbo." He murmured softly, looking at his crown laying on the table in front of him, "In all honesty, I came here this early because I was scared about Tommy trying to kill me if he saw me talking to you..."

"He wouldn't ki-"

The door slammed open dramatically and there was a cheerful shout of your name, "(Y/n)!!! Let's go mining for diamon-" Tommy walked into your kitchen, only to freeze mid-step and midfacial expression. His expression went from surprised to annoyance to a grim smile, "Hello Ranboo!" He gave him a smile that was more like baring his teeth as he twirled his axe nonchalantly.

He was going to hurt him...

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 5

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 8.7k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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Seohyun woke up to her phone buzzing. She groaned and rubbed her eyes, checking who was calling. It was San. She declined the call to read the several text messages he had sent. It was something about how they were all going out for lunch and she was joining (funny how they'd stop asking now, just said it) and that she was... to go on a date with him later.

She texted back a simple OK and checked the time. It was already almost afternoon- she had slept in. After showering, she was brushing her teeth when she paused.

It was gonna be her first date with San.

"Ayyy~" she waved at her reflection, resuming. She wasn't one to make a big deal out of stuff, but she had to admit it was... a little bit exciting. And she couldn't say the same about San. He seemed like the type to take these things serious, like first dates. So she decided that she did not want to disappoint him and would put in a little bit effort.

Seohyun checked her wardrobe. She didn't have much 'cute' stuff. Her first priority was always comfort when she picked her clothes. And they were usually monochrome or dark colours. She didn't like wearing bright stuff. Her only mildly cute outfit was the green dress she'd worn the last time with Jiwoo.

She moved on way too early, Seohyun thought. There was no one to help her dress up now. Her mom...

Seohyun realized there was something. Her mother had given her some sort of a top for her birthday last year. She had buried it in the back of her closet because she had deemed it too 'fashionable' for her. Seohyun threw her clothes out to find it. Indeed, it was still there.

It was a purple blouse with lace around the neck and tiny pearls. She shrugged. She'd pair it with pants and ankle boots.

After dressing up and tying her hair in half a ponytail, she stood in front of the mirror. She looked presentable, if one ignored her still-puffy-from-sleeping face. She sighed and put on the only lip gloss she had. That could do. She smiled at her reflection once before grabbing her phone and leaving the house.

They were meeting at a new café that Yunho and Yeosang had been wanting to try on forever. Yeosang had assured them it had good reviews for their desserts too. They were all already there by the time Seohyun reached. She had spent a good minute admiring the exterior of the café while the boys laughed at her unaware self, watching her through the window.

Mingi waved at her once she was inside and they made space for her. After exchanging greetings, they decided they would order food first. They decided on ordering two of everything and sharing, and once they gave the order, they all looked at Seohyun.

"You look... like you actually made effort today," Hongjoong commented.

"What do you mean?" Seohyun asked, forgetting for a second.

"Hey, don't say that, or she'll never dress up again," San pouted, and Seohyun realized, looking down at her dress.

"Is it too much?" she asked, "I've actually, honestly, never made effort. So I need honest reviews."

"It's not too much, it's perfect," Seonghwa assured, "In fact, you could have done more, but since this is you, it's perfect."

"That sounds.... like a compliment and insult at the same time, thank you Seonghwa."

They laughed and Yeosang said, "Hongjoong's the fashionista. You should only ask him."

"Yes, yes, Seonghwa's right. You look good!"

"That's the only top I had," Seohyun sighed, looking at San who was staring at her with an adorable expression on his face. "The rest of my wardrobe, you've seen."

"I guess we're going shopping then after this. I hope you have the card on you that you liked to flex about so much," Hongjoong smirked.

"I do-"

"But we're going on our first date today-"

"WHAT?!"

Seohyun face-palmed. San had done it.

San looked at Seohyun for help and she sighed. "Well, no need to over-react, Wooyoung. As you all know, San and I are... sort of, uh... dating?"

Yunho snickered first before everyone started laughing at how awkward Seohyun suddenly got, and it was her turn to look at San for help. It wasn't everyday she lost her demeanor. Falling in love did make one a different person, she realized.

"Yeah, so you're sort of dating?" Jongho wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yes, Jongho, we're DATING." Seohyun said, "And San was planning to take me on our first date after this."

"You haven't been on your first date yet?" Wooyoung asked, "But it's been days now that you've been together! Sannie, you disappoint me!"

Before San could choke Wooyoung, Seohyun interrupted, "It was me. I was busy dealing with ghosts. It turns out Jiwoo had actually been a saint. Did anyone of you know that she used to do half my jobs?"

Everyone fell silent as they listened, "She was never 'bored' of coming to school with me. She just had so much time to kill that she'd help ghosts instead of me. I kind of miss her more now."

"That's sweet," Mingi said, "She really was a great friend."

"I know right! Anyways, this is the reason we haven't had our first date yet."

Other than San, the boys shared looks, and Seohyun saw with dread the devilish smirks appear on their faces as they announced: "Too bad! We're crashing your first date!"

San groaned and dramatically fell back in his chair while Seohyun gaped at them. "I-I'm speechless for once." Laughter filled the room as she said, "If that's what friends are for, I think I'm gonna change my mind..."

Before anyone could protest, food came and they started discussing Hongjoong's love for fashion and the various items he had reformed. Hongjoong assured her if she had a clothing item or something she would like to reform, he was the man.

"I do have this denim jacket that I'm too attached to," Seohyun thought about it, "Can you write something cool on the back of it?"

"Yes, just give me the jacket whenever you can. It'll take no more than two days, unless we have exams."

Seohyun looked at Seonghwa for confirmation and he nodded. "He also makes custom bracelets for us."

"Nice," Seohyun said, "I'd like some too," she wiggled her brows at Hongjoong, who laughed and nodded.

"So what were you gonna do on your first date?" Wooyoung and Jongho leaned in and asked Seohyun.

"San was the one in charge, ask him," she said.

"I was thinking we'd just walk aimlessly around the city..."

They both tsk-ed at San, muttering something about how he was an 'amateur' and would probably bore me to death.

"Hey, that's a nice idea actually. I don't mind."

"You're just saying that to be nice," Jongho said and Seohyun folded her arms.

"I don't say things to be nice, Choi Jongho."

Everyone hooted at that, having heard her, and Seohyun stared at her drink intensely, contemplating if she should 'accidentally' spill it on everyone.

"But she's right, actually," Yeosang said, "She doesn't say things to be nice. If she didn't like that idea, I'm sure she would have said to San with a hidden insult in between. I'm right, aren't I?"

"Thank you, Yeosang," Seohyun said, "I love you."

Yeosang saluted and San pouted, "Hey! You haven't even said that to me yet!"

Everyone was silent for a good minute before they burst out laughing, including Seohyun. San's pout went bigger and Seohyun poked him.

"Ayyy. I say that everyday, just not in words."

"OHHHH!" Everyone hooted and San actually smiled, trying to hide a blush but failing.

"How do you say it then?" Mingi asked, wiggling his brows, and Yunho made kissing sounds in the air, earning a smack from Wooyoung who was right beside him.

"Next time I encounter a dangerous ghost, I'm actually gonna befriend them," Seohyun said, smashing her now empty glass on the table as she glared at them, "I have a few ideas of how to make you all suffer."

Yunho snickered and Mingi immediately bowed, muttering praises about how Seohyun was the most kind girl he'd ever met. It was Seohyun's turn to smirk.

After they were done eating, everyone got up and they decided to go to the mall. It seemed like Hongjoong was bent on getting her good dresses, and he whispered to her that she should wear them on her dates, which actually made Seohyun flush for a good second.

"Hi," San said, holding her hand in his. He was walking with her now, both at the end while the others were ahead.

"Hey," Seohyun smiled, squeezing his hand subconsciously as she continued walking forward.

"Did you know purple is my favourite colour? I love this on you," San said, and Seohyun smiled.

"I did not. You'll have to thank my mom for this," Seohyun said, "She got me this for my birthday last year,"

"Oh, when's your birthday?"

"21st December."

"Right. So we have about two months. Is there something you want?"

"I wish my mom would be home actually," Seohyun said, "The last birthday I had with her was my 14th. I actually had fun then. Mom's friends had come, there's one that I'm close with. We had a banger then."

"That sounds fun," San smiled.

"It was," Seohyun smiled wistfully, "Now she's always busy during that time. So she just sends me a gift and a cake. And I spend my birthday alone."

San felt quite sad to hear that. "You won't be alone this year, I promise."

Seohyun looked at him. He had said that with such clarity that she believed him.

"I have a feeling that won't be the case," she suddenly said, and San almost stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"It's my gut. It's always right. I suppose it comes with the ghost thing. I just suddenly felt that wasn't going to be the case when you said that."

San put his arm around her, "You probably felt that because you've spent most of your birthdays alone. But now you have us, and there's always a chance your mom could come too. I can assure you, you won't be alone this year."

"Maybe," Seohyun let herself hope, pushing the feeling of dread back.

They reached the mall and Seohyun watched as Hongjoong and Wooyoung took the lead, discussing what would go well with her hair and skin colour, stuff that Seohyun didn't quite understand. She was too busy rejecting the ones Yunho, Mingi and Jongho were picking for her, making sure they got bright yellows and neon shades just to annoy her. They were having quite a laugh.

Seonghwa, Yeosang and San had disappeared to another shop it seemed. Wooyoung threw a top at her, ordering her to hold on herself so they could check.

"This has too many beads," Seohyun muttered.

"There are literally only 6 beads on it, stop being a child," Wooyoung said, snatching the top back from her and she pouted as they put it in the cart.

Hongjoong held another top, checking its size.

"Isn't that too short?" Seohyun asked.

"It's a crop top, Seohyun, of course it is short."

"That's basically the size of a bra! How am I supposed to wear it?!"

Hongjoong and Wooyoung tsk-ed at her. "It's not, it comes to your waist. Wear it with high waisted pants and a jacket if you can," Hongjoong threw it in the cart.

Seohyun threw her hands in the air as she looked back, the trio laughing at her misery. They were clearly enjoying. A thought struck Seohyun. She went to the three of them and asked if she should buy something for San.

"I guess he could use a new jacket," Yunho looked at Jongho and he nodded, "He's been using the same two jackets since forever."

"Help me pick," she said and dragged them to the men's section, and they picked a black denim jacket, putting it with her clothes so San wouldn't be suspicious.

After about 15 minutes, they were all done, and San, Yeosang and Seonghwa joined them as well.

"Where were you all?" Seohyun eyes them suspiciously.

"Just looking around," Seonghwa nodded, and San scratched his neck.

After they all got ice cream as refreshment, they decided to part ways, and Seohyun thanked Hongjoong and Wooyoung sincerely, saying she'd use them well.

"I'll get you both something too. Tell me what you want."

"You don't have to, just wear them, that'd be a gift," Wooyoung laughed.

"No, I can't! You guys put so much effort. I'll get you both something, just you wait," Seohyun promised.

San and her decided to walk back home, carrying the shopping bags with them.

"This is not how I had imagined our first date would go," San admitted.

"I had fun still," Seohyun smiled, "And anyway, the day is not over yet."

"It is! It's 7pm already!"

"Well, what do you say I take you on an adventure after we drop these at home?" Seohyun wiggled her eyebrows, saying, "Unless you have to go home."

"Well, no one's home today so..." San smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Alright, I'll follow you."

Seohyun smiled, skipping as she walked, making San laugh out loud.

---------------

San and Seohyun reached home, dumping the several shopping bags in the living room. They decided to eat dinner and rest a bit, and Seohyun said she'd take him somewhere, but it had to be a surprise.

After they got fresh, they had ramyeon and Seohyun fished out a jacket from her wardrobe. It was gonna be chilly. She went to the living room, searching for San's jacket and went to San.

"Try this on," she said, and San got up from the sofa, trying the black jacket on. "Where we're going, it's gonna be a bit chilly."

"Wow, it fits perfectly," Seohyun stood back to check. "It's a gift."

"Really?" San looked down at the jacket. "Did you get this today?" Seohyun nodded. San smiled, thanking her with a hug.

They locked the house, grabbing only a bag with water bottle and chocolates. They took a taxi, a 30 minute drive to a hill. Seohyun told San she knew a shortcut to get to the top, and indeed, after a short hike, they reached the top.

"The view is amazing," San said, admiring how the full moon lit the night sky, the stars in the sky bright too. The city lights down seemed like stars too.

"A few months ago, a ghost teleported me here. He had died of an accident somewhere around here, and wanted help finding his sister, who had passed away with him. Jiwoo was with me, thankfully. It took us the whole day but we found her."

"Wow, I'm glad Jiwoo was with you," San said, and they both sat on the grass, facing the moon. "Imagine if you were alone and had to go back."

"Oh, I'm not sure if they even moved on. They said they wanted to spend some time together before they moved on, since they weren't sure what life ahead had for them. They might still be enjoying the ghost life."

"Really? Isn't that... dangerous?"

"They did promise. I said I'd come back after a year, and if they hadn't moved on by then, I'd personally exorcise them."

San laughed. "That's kind of you."

Seohyun winked at him. San was looking at the stars, and she took that time to admire his side-profile. He really was a work of art.

"Byeol," San said.

"What?"

"I'm naming our cat Byeol. Now that's an acceptable name, isn't it?"

Seohyun stared at him. "I mean, I was okay with Shiber too..."

"HEY!" San tackled her, tickling her everywhere and Seohyun laughed loudly, "Do you know how much time I spent thinking of a name for the cat!"

"Stop!" Seohyun laughed, and San stopped tickling to hear her out. "I love it. Byeol. Shiber. Whatever you wanna call her."

San shook his head at her. Seohyun realized he was still on top of her. San was staring at her, rather intensely.

San touched her hair. It was a habit of his now, playing with her hair. The grey in her hair was shining thanks to the moonlight. Her eyes shone just as brightly. Her mouth was slightly parted, and San ran his thumb across her lips.

"You're beautiful," he finally said.

Seohyun wanted to tell him that she was not, but she was too flustered to say anything. His broad shoulders blocked the moonlight, making his figure shine instead. He leaned in and kissed her softly, taking his dear time, making sure every peck was slow and good.

Seohyun's internal state was a mess at this time; her heart was beating too loudly, her stomach rolling too furiously, and her mind- oh it was an absolute mess. So she just let him kiss her senseless, her hands going through his hair and back to cup his face as they kissed.

San drew apart and Seohyun held onto his neck, making them sit, and San joined her forehead with his as they caught their breath. He rested her hands on her waist, and Seohyun gulped as she took his hands and put them on her waist under her shirt this time.

San inhaled sharply at the touch, looking at her for confirmation. He was always so patient with her, which she loved about him. Seohyun cupped his face and kissed him, more forcefully now. San followed along, his hands staying at her waist only, his thumb caressing her skin there. She kissed his neck, earning a satisfying moan from him.

"You're being naughty today," San whispered.

"You're being too good today," Seohyun retorted.

"Don't challenge me, Lee Seohyun," San warned, grinning.

"What you're gonna do, Choi San?"

San shook his head once, taking his hands away from her. Seohyun was going to protest but he took off his jacket and kissed Seohyun so hard that she found herself curving back and back until she was lying on the grass. He kissed her face, her neck, her collarbone, one hand on her waist, one roaming around, and Seohyun was a mess.

"What do you say? Do you regret this now?" San asked, smirking.

"Can't say I regret it," Seohyun answered, out of breath.

San laughed, kissing her one last time before lying down with her, holding her close.

Seohyun smiled. "This reminds me of the time when we first kissed," she said, "You were so sleepy."

"I was wide awake internally," San said, making her laugh a little. Seohyun traced his face with her fingers.

"I love you, San."

San's eyes went a little wide in surprise. Seohyun continued, "I know I haven't said it before. I don't know what I waited for. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," San brought her closer as if hugging her, "You didn't have to. I see it everyday."

Seohyun smiled, "Still. I have to say it out loud. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. If I knew love would make me feel pain like this, this weird satisfying sort of pain in the heart, this ache, I would've run away. But I still love you."

"I feel the same," San said, sighing, "I feel scared for you, I'm afraid that you'll get hurt. You do such a dangerous job. I hope I could have been more help. I love you so much that I wish I'd have to do all this instead of you."

"You don't have to," Seohyun said, "This is enough. You, like this, is more than enough."

San couldn't help it; he kissed her again, and it felt like he could cry.

After a few moments, they finally got up. San wore his jacket, and said, "Oh, I almost forgot."

He took out a box from his pocket and handed it to Seohyun. Seohyun opened it to see a locket with a silver star, a single diamante shining in the middle of it.

"It's beautiful," Seohyun smiled, "Is that what you shopped for today?"

"Yep. Come here," San took the necklace from her and helped her wear it.

"Thank you. I'm never gonna take it off," Seohyun said and San laughed.

"Are you saying I should never take this jacket off too?"

"Well," Seohyun shrugged, "If you can manage."

They were laughing when Seohyun's smile suddenly fell from her face.

"There's someone behind me San," she whispered, not taking her eyes off him. "Don't look."

San almost looked away on impulse but Seohyun took his hand, grabbing his attention. "I said don't look. Smile like you were before, quick. Laugh."

San laughed awkwardly, making sure he was smiling. "Look from the corner of your eyes, can you see something?"

San did, and whispered, "I think I see something moving to your left, but it's a bit far I think."

"It's not good," Seohyun whispered, and San understood. "We're gonna have to make a run for it. On the count of three?"

San nodded, squeezing her hand.

"One. Two. Three."

San took her hand and made a dash, realizing that they couldn't go to the trail they'd come for since it was in the opposite direction. Seohyun took the lead, dragging San with her, trying to remember the other way. She looked back once and saw a sickly old woman almost caught up now. A little scream left her and they both ran, Seohyun stopping to grab a rock and aim at the woman. It narrowly missed her but distracted her long enough that they gained speed.

"Where's the other trail?" San shouted and Seohyun went through path after path, not bothering to reply. They were probably lost now.

Seohyun was about to give up and face the woman when a pair of hands grabbed her and she felt herself teleporting a few feet away from where they were, gaining more distance. She heard San gasp and looked to make sure he was okay, but hands grabbed her and she was running again.

"You!" Seohyun exclaimed. The boy and the girl- the brother and sister that had died here. She could not believe it.

"There's a cave here, we're teleporting again, grab on tight!"

Seohyun squeezed San's hand and shut her eyes. One moment she was running and the other she had jumped through time and space and was in the said cave.

"You call this a cave?" Seohyun asked. The boy ignored her, peeking out of the 'cave' as he covered the entrance with more tree branches.

San still held her hand, out of breath, taking out the bottles from Seohyun's bag and handing one to her while he drank some too.

"She lost us," The boy looked back and smiled proudly, high fiving his sister.

The boy must have been 16- he was a tall, lean kid. His short hair were spiky and his eyes were the same as his sister's- who must have been a year older. She looked at Seohyun and said, "Didn't expect to meet you like this, Seohyun."

Seohyun wiped her mouth. "Hi, Gayoung." She looked at the boy then, "Thanks, Youngjae."

"We owed you one," he said, motioning them to sit and take a breather. "We've been living here, so we kind of knew about the woman. She's an old soul, that one. I don't think you can do anything about her, best if you avoid her."

"Well, she should avoid me! Next time I'm gonna kill her-"

"I see you haven't changed," Gayoung grinned. "Who's that with you? And why is he not freaking out?"

"He's my boyfriend," Seohyun said, and Gayoung and Youngjae ooh-ed. "He knows. There was some accident, so he can see ghosts now too. Can't touch them."

"Interesting," Youngjae scanned San. "I didn't know we could teleport others too."

"Only because I was holding him. I guess because it was the two of you, it didn't require me to properly hold him. Remember Jiwoo? She tried it once. Took me to the ghost realm accidentally, with him!"

"With him!" Gayoung gasped, "Is that why he can...?"

"Yes!" Seohyun answered, "I almost died making that trip."

San elbowed Seohyun. "You call that dying?"

"Shut up. So you live here still?"

"Yes, we'll actually move on before the year completes," Youngjae said, "We're just waiting for our parent's wedding anniversary. We used to celebrate it, so we just wanna see them happy before we move on."

"Ah, that's good."

"Where's Jiwoo anyway?" Gayoung asked.

"She moved on," Seohyun sighed.

"So she finally remembered? Good for her!" Youngjae said and they nodded.

After catching up a few minutes, they decided it was safe to go back. Seohyun thanked them earnestly, saying she owed them one more now because this was too big a favour. They just dismissed it, telling her to stay safe. They guided them to another shortcut and soon the two of them were on the way home.

They stopped by at Seohyun's first, and San went inside with her for a moment, hugging her, telling her she was so brave for keeping her calm in that situation, telling her he was proud. With a kiss to her forehead, he left for home.

Seohyun washed up and fell on her bed, beyond exhausted. She recalled the day in her mind; it was a day well spent, if you ignored the last part. She smiled as she played the moments in her head; San was such a sweetheart today. She was playing with her necklace as she fell asleep.

----------------

The few days that followed their rather adventurous first date were as normal as they could get, keeping in mind the fact that it was Seohyun's life in question. She had a tremendous amount of school work to catch up to, and several ghosts to help move on.

Having friends actually helped, Seohyun realized one day as she was doing her homework. She was an average student; she'd do great if she tried, and if she didn't... well. So they'd help her with the subjects they were good at, they'd be her personal motivators, and she'd try to return the favours as well as she could.

She'd been thinking about how she could return the long due favour to Hongjoong and Wooyoung. They'd help her update her wardrobe, and the feedbacks she'd gotten were amazing. She supposed San was a softie and would compliment her even if she was in her worst hoodie, but when critics like Yeosang complimented her, she'd feel glad. She didn't really care about how she looked, but it felt good to dress up once in a while. Special occasions only.

Seohyun sighed as she shut her notebook close and got up, stretching. She found herself going to the music room. There were no drums anymore to relieve her of her stress, but she supposed she could do with something else. The violin reminded her of San as she picked it up, and she kind of missed him, so she put that down. She went to the piano, and inhaled. She'd be playing it for the first time now, after Joon Hyuk.

She tested the keys; it sounded out of tune. But she let her fingers naturally roll over them, found herself playing a familiar tune, the one Joon Hyuk had taught her. She smiled as she played. It had truly been a while.

After she was done, she nodded as she figured out what she'd get Hongjoong and Wooyoung. Something they really needed.

-----------

"You're the best!" Wooyoung tackled Seohyun in a tight hug, making Seohyun yell as she tried to push him away.

"How did you come up with this idea?" Hongjoong asked as he admired the speakers in front of him.

"I noticed you could use speakers here without disturbing anyone. And with how loud you all are, you definitely needed it."

Seonghwa connected the speakers to his phone, blasting full volume as he checked them, his mouth turning into an O as he nodded in admiration. "They must have cost you quite a bit?"

"Oh, it's okay. Let's forget about that part," Seohyun waved him off, and Yunho ruffled her hair.

Mingi passed her a juice box and she sipped on it, checking the time. "I have to go now. Mom's coming home tonight."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" San asked.

"Oh, don't bother, enjoy these speakers," Seohyun said, giving him a fist bump as she left. She hummed along as she walked, but she had only taken one turn when she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

Another ghost? She had just dealt with one right after school, before joining the boys in the warehouse.

Something flashed right behind her and she whipped to her left, stumbling. She checked left and right but it seemed the ghost had disappeared. But something about its rotting scent was familiar-

Seohyun's breath left her as she was pushed, and she turned just in time so she'd hit the wall with the side of her body instead of face first. She winced in pain, pushing the hair out of her eyes. There was no one there.

But she didn't have to check who it was. The scent had been enough for her.

Seohyun contemplated running home or back to the warehouse. Ghosts couldn't enter property without the owner or mediator's permission, and since the warehouse was the closest, she decided she'd make a run for it.

She smelt it as she run, dodging one attack but getting scratched on the back near her shoulder with something sharp- she assumed it was nails. Seohyun ran faster; glad for all the running she'd done as a kid, wishing a good soul would appear and help her. But it was only her- a useless mediator with the power to only see and touch the ghosts, against a vengeful spirit.

Seohyun turned and she was in front of the warehouse. She could hear the music blast and she ran even faster if she could, until she came within what she assumed was the boundary of the property. She turned and indeed, she saw the woman, this time in the clear of the day. She wasn't sure if she could even call it a woman at this point; it was a tangle of overgrown hair, pale skin and dark eyes with purple lips. And long, long nails.

Seohyun shook her head as it disappeared and she stood in the middle of the road, contemplating once again if she should go home and risk encountering them again, or going to the warehouse, and encountering THEM.

She threw her hands in the air in frustration and went inside the warehouse.

"Oh, she's back-" Jongho paused mid-sentence as he saw the disheveled figure of Seohyun, with a bruise on her cheekbone.

Seohyun walked to them, looking at San whose eyes were wide. "It's her," she said, "the one from that hill."

San came to her, inspecting her face; the bruise was light, thankfully. "Are you hurt somewhere else?"

"On my back, I think," Seohyun turned her neck to see and indeed, her shirt was torn where those nails had scratched her. San took her to the sofa and Seonghwa brought a first aid kit, Seohyun eyeing it warily. "I should ask why you have a first aid kit."

"For a day like this, I suppose," Hongjoong said, handing her a glass of water. Seohyun looked at him once as she drank.

"How did she find you?" San asked, taking her hand and caressing it.

"It took her a while to find me, it's been more than two weeks."

"What happened?" Hongjoong asked and Seohyun explained, everyone sitting around her to hear her story.

"Why do ghosts start to look like that?" Yeosang asked.

"I don't exactly know, but time does that to them, I think."

"Don't they look scary?" Wooyoung asked.

"They look scary, but I think the fact that they were human once makes it less scarier to me?" Seohyun shrugged. She grabbed the ointment, applying it to the wound on her face. Then she looked at Seonghwa. "Is the wound on my back bad?"

Seonghwa peeked at what he could see from the torn part of her shirt, there were long cuts. "I think you should get them treated."

"Can you do something about it right now? I'll get them treated later," Seohyun said, biting her lip. Seonghwa nodded. He inspected her state, then said in a low voice, "You'll have to take off your shirt."

Seohyun groaned. At times like this, she really did miss Jiwoo.

"Or we can cut your shirt, since it's already torn," Seonghwa suggested, looking at her with a sad look in his eyes.

"I'll take it off," Seohyun said, "Let's not be awkward about this, okay? Which one of you is the best at first aid?"

"Seonghwa definitely," Mingi said.

"Should I do it?" San asked.

"You're the worst at it," Wooyoung muttered, making Seohyun scoff.

"It's just when it's someone I'm close to! I can't bear it!"

The two of them started to argue, and Seohyun decided to stop them. "I'd like you all to disappear to a corner while Seonghwa does his job. Give me some privacy. And San, you can stay if you want to."

The rest of the boys rushed away, and Seohyun bit her lip. "Not how you thought you'd see me without a shirt for the first time, eh San?"

Seonghwa went into a fit of coughs while San gaped at her statement, finally giving in after a few seconds and laughing, shaking his head. "You really pick the worst time for jokes."

"Alright, here goes," Seohyun turned her back to them and took off her shirt, San helping her hold her hair. She was left in a black bra. She wasn't flustered; not when the exposed wound left her skin stinging, and she sucked in her breath.

San helped her sit on the floor and she brought her arms to her chest, her hair covering the rest of her as Seonghwa carefully applied ointment on the three parallel scratches that ran from her shoulder all the way to the the middle of her back.

"She got you bad, Seohyun," San said worriedly, "what if she comes here?"

"She can't," Seohyun answered, "Can't enter property without owner or my permission."

"That's useful," Seonghwa muttered.

"That's actually handy, Seonghwa," Seohyun had noticed the sarcasm in his voice; she supposed he was angry at the whole situation. "I'm glad I was near when it happened." She rested her head on her knees, San watching Seonghwa apply bandages now, so careful with it. He was definitely being extra careful.

San went to get an extra shirt they had around for Seohyun, and Seonghwa finished up. Seohyun peeked at the bandages, impressed.

"Thanks, Seonghwa."

"Don't mention it," Seonghwa put the stuff back in the kit, "I wish you'd be more careful in the future."

"I can't help it, Seonghwa, believe me, I'm the most careful now," Seohyun said and Seonghwa locked his eyes with her.

"I just don't want to see you hurt, Seohyun-ah. It pains me."

"I know," Seohyun sighed, "I understand."

Seonghwa hesitated then patted her head. "I'm sure you did well back then," he smiled warmly.

"Finally. Thanks again," Seohyun laughed, and San was back. Seohyun took the shirt from him and wore it, standing up. "I'll take a taxi now."

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" San asked.

"Oh no, it's okay now. She can't follow me in a taxi."

"Okay, at least let me walk you out."

Seohyun said thanks and bye to them all, and they told her to be careful. San and her walked out of the warehouse, and San grabbed her hand, bringing her in for a hug. Seohyun hugged him back, her arms on his back, smiling.

"Were you scared back then?" San asked.

"A little," Seohyun admitted, "Just glad I was near."

San broke the hug, putting her hair behind her ears, touching her cheek below the bruise. "Does it hurt?"

"This? Nope. The one in the back, yes, a little."

"Do get proper treatment," San said, looking at her worriedly.

"I will," Seohyun laughed, "Don't worry too much?"

"How can I not?" San shook his head, leaning forward to kiss her. "Your taxi's here."

------------

Seohyun reached home, cleaning the mess around the house, until she heard the sound of the door opening. Her mother was home.

Seohyun said hello and smiled at her. She looked nothing like her mom; she was tall, had pointy features and narrow eyes, and she looked sharp and intelligent. Her dark hair reached her shoulders. She put her handbag on the table and came to gave her a hug.

"How have you been?"

"Just the usual," Seohyun said, "What about you?"

"Ugh, I've been so busy," she said, collapsing on the sofa. "What do we have for dinner?"

"I'll set the table," Seohyun said. She had prepared her favourite dishes with the help of their previous housemaid, who she was still on good terms with. The old woman would drop by every once in a while, and she'd exchange her kimchi and some traditional dishes for Seohyun's pastas and desserts that she loved.

The mother and daughter caught up on studies and work as they ate. She told Seohyun she would have a busy time in the following month, but she'd try to come for her birthday, or else it was gonna be Christmas.

"How's the ghost business?" Her mother asked, drinking water.

"Was going well, until today I encountered an evil one," Seohyun said, "You'd have to help me with a wound I got on my back."

Her mother stared at her. "Are you alright?"

"Oh I am," Seohyun nodded, "I'll deal with her, I was just caught off-guard. She got me for a second."

"I hope you do," her mother said, "Tell me if you need help."

Seohyun smirked at her, "Wrong thing to say."

Her mother laughed, "Yeah, you probably know way more people than I do. Come on, let me have a look."

Seohyun showed her, and her mother winced. She helped change her bandages and gave her a doctor's information so she could visit and get treated, make up a story about how it was a stray dog or something. Seohyun thanked her, and after chatting a while, she left her to sleep.

"When will you return to work?" Seohyun asked.

"Tomorrow evening. I'll see you off for school in the morning. We'll see each other next month then."

"Oh, okay. Goodnight," Seohyun said, coming to her room and lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She wished she had stayed longer. But it was okay.

This was enough.

-----------------

A week had passed without further incidents. Seohyun was careful; she'd take taxi if she could, or she'd keep the sibling duo with her. She called them in, saying she'd owe them one if they could teleport her when needed. So the duo happily stick with her, saying they were bored of living in the hills and would like to visit a school too.

The boys had become friendly with the duo; they'd either communicate through San (who had given up now; he was quite tired of being their voice) or through the old-fashioned way: notebooks. They'd pretend to be studying in class when in fact they'd be having a conversation with the ghosts.

"I have a question," Yeosang said to Seohyun in the middle of class. Seohyun, who had been staring at Mingi and Gayoung conversing, looked at Yeosang.

"How would you get rid of old ghosts like the one you encountered?"

"Good question," Seohyun said, "There are a few options. I could try to talk sense into them. If that doesn't work, I get help from the good ghosts and threaten them. Like, every ghost had some sort of faith, right? Usually works if you use their god against them."

"But what if they have no faith anymore?"

"Goodnight, then, I guess," Seohyun said and Yeosang gasped. "You take help from actual exorcists then too. I once did. Got quite rough, but it works."

"Sounds dangerous," he muttered.

"Kind of," Seohyun agreed.

Seohyun was walking home after school with her new ghost friends when she sensed something amiss. "Just when I thought it was over."

Gayoung and Youngjae covered her back and front defensively. The woman appeared out of nowhere, stopping when she saw the ghosts.

"Well, well," she said, and Seohyun winced. Her voice sounded creepy. "What do we have here?"

"What do you want?" Seohyun asked.

"Death of you," the woman laughed, "Don't try to talk me out of it. You can't."

"What good is that gonna do to you?" Seohyun asked, genuinely curious.

The woman laughed again, this time sarcastically. "Don't tell me you didn't know? When a mediator dies, there is a short time period during which there is no other mediator in the world. That's when ghosts can do whatever they want; trespass, interact with humans, and much more."

"How is that true? I mean, if it were really true, more people would be trying to kill me, won't they?"

"Oh dear," the woman smiled this time, all knowingly, which sent chills throughout her body, "That's why it's a secret, isn't it?"

Gayoung and Youngjae shared looks. If it was true, they could interact with their parents, which was all they wanted. But they wouldn't harm Seohyun for that. Not after all she had done for them.

"I'll be back, girl," the woman's voice was sure, "When you least expect it. And I'll make sure I hear you screaming before you die."

The three of them watched as she gave her a long final look before she disappeared. They were quite for a few seconds and Seohyun caught her breath. "Don't tell me you both want to kill me now too."

"Oh, we wouldn't," Gayoung said, "We really wouldn't."

"You sound very assuring, noona," Youngjae said sarcastically, earning a tsk as he looked at Seohyun. "Let's get you home. We'll look for someone else who can get rid of that old bitch."

Seohyun nodded and they walked home, the duo arguing while Seohyun just walked blankly. She couldn't get the look the ghost had given out of her head. She sounded so sure. As if she had something already planned for her.

Seohyun sat in front of the TV for hours, her mind blank. All she could think was how her gut had felt when she'd said that. As if that was something that was bound to happen. Was she really gonna die?

Seohyun had never been too afraid of dying; not like an average person. For her, it was a life full of danger. She had welcomed and played with aspect of death. But her life had changed drastically over the past months. She had found people to live for. And that meant she was more scared this time.

Her phone buzzed and she read the text. It was from San asking if she wanted him to come over. Seohyun bit her lips in thought. Then she texted 'come over with chocolate ice cream please'.

And San did so. They sat on the sofa, watching TV and eating ice cream as they talked about this and that. Seohyun somehow found it very easy to talk to him, and so did San. He told her all about how he used to live in the countryside when he was little (hence the slight accent), he had mostly grown up with his grandparents because his parents were busy people.

"Don't you miss your parents when they're away?" Seohyun asked. Her ice cream was finished.

"I do, of course. Don't you?"

"I miss my mom sometimes," Seohyun admitted. "She's not as bad as you all think."

San gave her a pointed look and she threw a pillow at him, which he caught. "Come on, you have to admit. She talks to me. She let's me do normal stuff. She doesn't think I'm crazy. And she remembers my birthday every year. That's more than I can ask for."

"Don't you wish she did more?"

"I used to, but then I just accepted it. It's just the way it is."

San looked at her and spread his arms for her. She just threw another pillow at him, rolling her eyes. "I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. What about the ghost?"

"Well," Seohyun sighed and told him what had happened. San listened intently.

"Is there something we can do about it?" he asked.

"I'll go to that exorcist I know, but San," Seohyun turned to face him, "Something's different this time. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is gonna happen."

"It's probably just you overthinking?"

"No, it's different this time," Seohyun sounded sure, and San was actually surprised, "Something is gonna happen and it's gonna be bad. God, I want to cry."

San watched as she put her head in her hands, sighing. She heard San scoot over and she scooted away. "If you hug me now, I'm afraid I'll really cry."

"It's okay to cry, Seohyun, come here," San grabbed her arm and brought her in for a hug, and Seohyun let herself cry. It had been so long since she'd last cry.

"I'm sorry," Seohyun said, sniffing, "I miss Jiwoo a lot, if she was here, she would have handled this so well. I can't help but feel scared for you."

"Do you think something's gonna happen to me?" San asked as he patted her head.

"No. I don't know. I don't know and it's making me so frustrated," Seohyun said and cried harder. San only patted her back, muttering comforting words.

Seohyun drew back and wiped her face. "Sorry for crying on you."

"Anytime," San laughed. "I can understand that you're scared Seohyun, tell me what I can do for you."

"Just- stay with me. That's enough."

San nodded, taking her hand. "Do you want me to play something for you?"

Seohyun raised her brow, "Can you?"

"I can play the piano a little bit, unless you want me to play the violin and scare the dead away."

Seohyun laughed, "Let's go."

They went to the room, and San showed her what he'd learnt from Hongjoong of the piano. Seohyun appreciated the gesture, and on his insistence, she played the violin for him again, and he watched her adoringly.

When she was done, she put the violin down. "I came here a few days ago. I wanted to play the violin but I couldn't because it reminded me of you and I missed you. I played today. It seems like now I only play for you."

Seohyun was packing the violin when San hugged her from the back, his arms around her waist as he rocked them back and forth. Seohyun smiled. He was such a romantic.

"I like that," he whispered in her ear, making her laugh because it tickled. He nibbled on her ear, making her laugh.

"It's like the music room does something to you, San, you become such a romantic."

"I can assure you I'm the same anywhere else too," he said, still hugging her.

Seohyun looked at the clock. It was already 10 pm and they had no school tomorrow. She broke the hug and looked at him, his hands on her waist now.

"I know it's too much to ask, San, and I need you to give an honest answer, okay? I won't mind. But, can you... stay here tonight?" Seohyun almost whispered, tears welling up in her eyes again. "I'm just- I can't be alone tonight. I feel it. Something's gonna happen."

San touched her face, nodding. "Of course. If you want me to. I'll leave early in the morning."

Seohyun sighed in relief, a tear escaping her eye, "Thank you, San. Thank you."

San wiped the tear from her face. He felt scared about how she was feeling too. It was so unusual. Seohyun was always so strong, and she felt so... human. He couldn't leave her like this. He bent down and kissed her lips slowly, her arms going around his neck and her hands in his hair, clearly glad for the distraction.

She broke apart and took his hand, taking him to her bedroom, only the dim lamp on. She pushed him on the bed, surprising him, as she shut the door and kicked off her shoes, climbing on the bed and sitting on his lap. His arms were holding him from lying down and Seohyun went to cup his face and kiss him, so deeply as if she was saying her thanks through this. San's stomach turned, his heart beating wildly and he took the chance, taking one arm to grab her, but fell flat on the bed.

Seohyun was now on top of him. She stared at him for the longest time, and it made San feel so many different things. He saw the necklace he had given her dangling off her neck, and his hand went to touch it as a smile made its way on his face.

Seohyun smiled too then gave him soft pecks on his lips, both of them smiling through it. She was taking her sweet time and San had enough. He flipped her down, now on top of her, making her gasp in surprise as he smirked. But his smirked wiped off as she leaned forward and took his shirt off, running her hands through his toned body.

"Damn, San, I didn't know you worked out," Seohyun smirked.

San only smiled as he kissed her, loving the feeling of her hands all over him. His hands went to her waist and she broke apart for a second, motioning him to unbutton her shirt. San looked at her to make sure it was okay and she nodded, rolling her eyes but smiling.

"Is your wound okay now?" San asked as he unbuttoned her shirt.

"Probably left a scar," Seohyun muttered and he made her sit so he could check.

She was right. 3 parallel scratches had left their scar. It would take time to fade. "You reminded me of that ghost again, San. Distract me."

San kissed her bare shoulder, making her gasp, and kissed and nibbled on her neck, playing with her necklace. Seohyun moaned and felt San smile. She slapped his shoulder, making him laugh. "You asked for it," he said.

"I'm gonna make you moan so loud, Choi San-"

"Sshh," he said, kissing her passionately. Seohyun took that chance to bite on his lower lip while her hands gripped his waist now, and that earned her a moan. It was her turn to smile. San kissed her some more, before lying down with her, pulling the covers over them.

"It's late," he said, bringing her closer, "Sleep now."

"I don't wanna..." Seohyun said, putting her arm around him and kissed his neck, earning a sigh.

"I'm not gonna be able to stop if you keep doing that," San sighed. Seohyun melted at his words.

"Glad to know that," she whispered, but just hugged him, kissing his shoulder innocently now.

"I love you, San. You know that, right?"

"I know," he whispered back.

"I should tell you that everyday. Hell, I should have told you that everyday. I'm sorry."

"Seohyun," San made her face him, "You don't have to. I know that. You don't even have to say it out loud."

"Still," Seohyun said, "I should have told you that everyday."

San stared at her. He kissed her forehead and hugged her. "I love you too. And you know that right? I say it everyday, goofily, jokingly, or sometimes serious. But you still know it, even when I say it as a joke. That's because you know, just like I do."

Seohyun nodded. She buried her face in his chest, going under the covers, his arms securely around him.

"Goodnight, love." San whispered.

prev - next

[semiramis-audron]

There’s British things in British Columbia

It was half past six when the medics finally packed up their equipment and the police had finished their report, made all the photos for the property damage charges and the insurance and allowed him to finally close up the place. 

It hadn't been that big of a deal. He wouldn't press charges for the door or the glass. But there had been humans involved and hurt, so there was no way around calling an ambulance and the police. Doing things the human way was so… involved.

So he had to wait for them to arrive, while the bouncers held the demon who had been the reason for the fight. Really the human started it but…  ah well, no use crying over spilled glass and blood. The human got fixed up and was on his save way home. As was the lady, who thankfully suffered no harm and as far as he knew also the demon. A friend picked him up and made sure of it... as he was assured…

Trevor locked the door to the pub and began putting up the chairs while the dust and wood and glass on the floor moved itself into a heap and then hovered towards the bin. He mopped the blood off the floor and sighed at his shirt, and his watch. They were cleaned a finger snap later, but the glass of the watch had cracked, the mechanism had stopped. He could fix that later, or get a new one. Maybe Richard would like to help him pick one.

He reached for the bandage tape at his ear. The area was throbbing with pain. Even more so when he realised too late that hair was stuck to the tape.  A sharp breath of air through his teeth and he pulled it off all the way. The gauze pad came off dark red, the bleeding had stopped by now. He removed the hair gel before his fingertips felt for the stitched gash. The wound closed swiftly, there would be no traces left in a day or two. The pain subsided a little, nothing to bother a healer about.

He looked around the pub. All done.

Fixing the door would need to wait a bit to not seem suspicious. Then again, no one was going to even attempt a break in to begin with, so he wouldn’t lose sleep over that detail.

How late was it anyway? He checked his phone. Almost 7… And there were several messages. Huh. 

All of them from Richard. Did he get wind of what had happened?  No, the messages were from earlier in the night… day… Right he was in… Vancouver…  they were 8 hours behind London.

Apparently he could see all the skyscrapers of the city from the meeting room. 

Trevor imagined it was a great view, if one wasn't afraid of heights. There was supposed to be a meeting and the other party was late? So Richard was busying himself. 

They had a bowl of maple candy with the city flag of Vancouver pressed on at the reception desk, but it was for kids visiting the tower for the lookout platform. So he wasn’t supposed to get one, sadly.  But he had charmed the lady and got a sealed bag full.

He did have a childlike wonder to him sometimes, Trevor admitted.

Earlier in the day he had also been to the Capilano Suspension Bridge in the nearby forest, in also terrifying heights.

✉ You can walk through the treetops! It's all safe and up to code ;) They are very strict about their regulations. And so many trees! You would love it! ✉

Trevor couldn't help a sensible chuckle escaping. He did imply that he enjoyed it whenever Richard sent him updates and fascinating things that he encountered on his travels. The photo on the bridge was breathtaking. It was kind of Richard to take his time to make it. And yes, he would probably love it there. If he had been aware of the messages earlier, he would have asked him for more pictures. Accursed timezones…

The other party of the meeting had been a no show according to a later message, so he got a selfie of Richard in front of the McDonald's on Main Street with it's architecturally intriguing angular glass roof. He was holding a box of nuggets. The message implied he was craving nuggets, and an evil  >;P smiley. Outrageous! 

He was staying in Canada for another day since the meeting was now planned for the next afternoon and Jeff had made it clear that the partner had in their previous, very lucrative deals, always been reliable. So should be given some leniency especially in this important case. 

Richard informed Trevor, that he was reminded of him, when he learned about the British Properties a good 700m air line from the bridge, where only people with an actual British passport used to be allowed to live. They excluded non-white and Jewish people in olden times, but were less racist now. At least something?

After that Trevor was treated to some facts about Richard’s hotel. 

His balcony had wooden covered flooring that smelled like freshly cut pine trees. They must use a special varnish. He was going to try and find out about that tomorrow.

And the Lookout of the Vancouver Harbour Center was clearly visible. Not as high up as the meeting room, but equally beautiful.

According to the bartender at that Hotel bar, it was regularly used as a set for movie shoots, because Vancouver was considered the “North Hollywood” with how important it is to the film industry. 

To Richard’s delight, they also served sushi. It was from the same bartender, that Richard apparently learned that the so-called California Roll wasn’t invented in California! It was invented in Vancouver, by a Japanese Chef, owning a restaurant nearby. 

Trevor yawned slightly in the dark, wondering whether he should be concerned about Richard finding a more interesting bartender than him. He took off his shoes and made it to the kitchen, pointing a finger and a snap at the stove, heating some water for tea to settle down while scrolling through the messages.

He was further informed him that Richard could see the hills of Stanley Park from his Hotel room, and that all of the grey squirrels found in Stanley Park, which is by the way 10% bigger than Central Park, are descendants of eight pairs of grey squirrels that Vancouver received as a gift from New York City in 1909. 

And that the Beaver Lake in the park, was ironically beaverless until just 2008.

Also, that he was again reminded of London and Trevor, because right next to the Hotel was an apartment building called London Place and because Vancouver, due to its geographical and vegetational zone, had one of the mildest climates in Canada, but more rain. So kinda like London. But more trees.

✉ So if you want me to check out any trails or trees for you tomorrow, drop me a message. <3 ✉

Right, Vancouver was basically in a rain forest. 

The latest message was only a few minutes old. The light of the phone was casting eerie shadows on Trevor’s face, reflecting the message in his eyes. The dim coloured glow of the Streets of SOHO, shining through the window like moonlight through the stained glass of a church. 

He hadn’t bothered about the brightness, but slowly the glare of the screen was beginning to irritate his tired eyes. He put the phone in his pocket and leaned against the counter, waiting for the water to boil, stifling another yawn, closing his eyes.

After this long night in the bustling pub, the quiet of his empty flat was a stark contrast.  At first there was just the background hum of silence in his ears, then slowly the natural noises in it grew louder. The muffled sounds of the awakening streets outside became more clear and the soft pearly bubbling of the water. Finally he could hear himself breathe in the quiet of the morning, opening his eyes again, now more used to the dark. 

He was looking at his clean and neat kitchen table, the polished counters and precisely closing drawers. Everything had its place in the greyish darkness. There was pristine and almost sterile order, even more so in the monochrome colours of the night. 

And towards his living room, a bit more homely, that lay also vacant in the dull grey. The fireplace was empty, wood neatly stacked, the tv pitch black. Books and magazines shelved proper and no spine out of line. Unless SOMEONE took one out to leaf through it and didn't put them back properly. Or put them on the coffee table instead. Or just dropped his stuff there, even though he had a nightstand just for his stuff...

The coffee table was unburdened though. The flat was quiet, his solitude undisturbed, his privacy uninvaded and isolated from the life of human beings. He checked his watch, sighed at the shattered glass, then took out his phone again. The little circle next to Richard’s name was still green. 

The tea kettle whistled and the water stopped boiling as the soft magical aura disappeared around it.

~~~~~~~~~~  🍁  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richard was leaning on his balcony, shirt half unbuttoned. Zooming in on some of the more extravagant buildings to get a better look. There had been some changes made in recent years by starchitects, or those that were paid as much at least. And there were still suggestions in the air, as far as he was keeping track of the business. Maybe an opportunity or two might arise from this prolonged stay yet.

“Mind if I join you?” the voice was husky and a bit tired, but very familiar and unexpected. He whirled around.  “Trevor!? Of course! Sure! Hi! I mean, yes, I’d be happy.” He welcomed him with open arms, then realising the gesture might be a bit much, dropped the arms a bit and smiled. The barkeeper was still standing in the door to the balcony, one hand clutching the frame. Also barefoot, as Richard noted.

“The view is even more impressive than you described…” Trevor pointed out, not making eye contact, with either Richard, or the view. “Ah, you noticed the high quality wooden panelling of the balcony too.” this was bad. Trevor was clearly stuck and apparently too proud to admit it.  “I- didn’t send you any pictures of the bathroom, would you like to see it? The tub is huge and it’s spotless. Great for relaxing.”  Richard watched as one naked foot touched the wooden boards and the knuckles on the already pale hand at the frame stood out white. The helplessness would be adorable if it wasn't born out of stubbornness. 

Their eyes met. “It’s fine…” Trevor said, taking a deep breath. “I’ll look at it later…” And the brown eyes motioned towards their left hand. Which was reaching out for him. For Richard, to take it, silently pleading for help.

He put his fingers around Trevor’s wrist and felt him return the gesture. It was a safe grip, reliable.  He slowly led the acrophobic man onto the balcony and offered him a chair. Into which Trevor slumped with an apologetic smile. “It’s really… high up… But it IS beautiful.”  Richard sat down on the other chair, the little wrought iron table between them. Staring at the man who was now staring at the view with the colour returning to his face.  "Thank you for dropping by, that's a welcome change." also a bit of an awkward one. Just sitting there, all settled into the chair now. Hard to make physical contact like that. Why did he show up all of a sudden. Why was he there in the first place? He never teleported to him before. Should he ask? Should he offer him a drink? A snack? A tour of the hotel? Of the city? He was going to ask!  “Canada is bloody cold! Do you want tea?” Trevor huffed, rubbing his arms and looked at Richard who had been a bit lost in thought staring at the more calmly breathing man. He nodded with a soft “Uh… uh huh.” and a snap later there were steaming cups on the table. They smelled warm, and a bit of spices that made Richard think of winter. The milk still spreading in amber clouds through the liquid. The brew was sweet, and with a dash of something foreign, that didn’t taste like a bitter British cuppa. Trevor shuddered, rubbing his now socked feet together. “And you said Vancouver was mild! That’s better, do you need more sugar?”  Richard shook his head, watching the goosebumps on Trevor’s forearms go down.

“Well, it’s not exactly Summer. You never teleported to me before?” He really wanted to say something and Trevor took his sweet time to answer, this was a bit nerve wracking. The night air hummed with the murmur of the city beneath them and the wind rushing around the skyscrapers like a serpentine river. Trevor kept sipping his tea. His breath afterwards was visible in the air.  “You made it sound like an interesting city to visit.” was the blasé response after a minute or two. "But it's a bit late for sightseeing now, isn't it?" Richard leaned partially over the table, trying to make sense of this sudden behaviour change.  “The sights I’m seeing are good for now.” Trevor looked away and back out over the balcony, clearly uncomfortable. He took another sip of the tea. 

Richard slumped back in his chair, picking his own tea up. They fell silent again. Watching the change of colours in the street and the clouds above. Richard was sure the tea was different than what Trevor was usually drinking. He enjoyed the thought of sharing in something special. Bitter at first, then sweet and with a hint of something exciting. Trevor tea.  He watched the angel’s eyes observe the sky and the blinking lights below them. One might even say, he looked relaxed now. How peculiar. What was going on?

The deep voice sent a shiver down Richard’s spine as Trevor cleared his throat. “It’s unusual for you to be so quiet. Are you okay, Richard?” The verbal equivalent of having his chair pulled out from under him.  "It's unusual for YOU to come to me! I didn't think Vancouver of all places would do that." he searched the man's face for a real reason.  "Well, …" Trevor sighed. "...my watch broke and I thought you could help."  A smile popped on Richard's face.  "Oh it's probably the battery, I'll charge it. For you, free of charge." a small wink as he took Trevor's wrist again. "The… glass is broken." his smile faltered a little when he saw the raised eyebrow. "And it's an automated watch, yes, no battery." that explained why he couldn't find one! His own always remained charged through himself. "No problem! I get tons of fancy watches from business deals, there's bound to be an automatic one among those."  He flinched when Trevor pulled his hand back, rubbing the wrist around the strap a little. He hadn't actually held him that tight? Maybe a small shock when he had tried to charge a non existent battery? 

"I was actually thinking about getting a new one from a watchmaker… or jeweller." Trevor didn't make eye contact, his face a strange expression that Richard couldn't decipher. "I was hoping, with your impeccable style, you knew a good one and… would help me pick one you think will suit me…" still no eye contact, but his face had become more rosey and, yep, the goosebumps were back. 

"I just wear them as I get them? But sure we can have a look tomorrow?"  Trevor sighed, and emptied his cup. Wrong answer apparently.  "It's a bit out of nowhere, I'm sorry."  Richard waved his hands. "No, I understand, keeping your schedule is important to you and you need your watch for that. There's actually a Vienna watchmaker with 30 years in the business, right here in Vancouver, we can go there. I walked past his shop today, I didn't know ‘cause he has no website. His name is Fritz Irrgang which is funny cause his watches are all going right. Very interesting old guy---"  He had gotten up in excitement and now hesitated and looked Trevor in the eyes again. He didn't look annoyed as expected, he was listening, with an amused, soft smile, and half lidded eyes.  "--- but it's almost 2 in the morning so we… can't go now…” Richard continued slowly. “-- it would be rude to get him out of bed---" thoughts trailing off into nonsense as he made sense of what he was seeing. Trevor's eyes weren't just half lidded. They looked tired and unusually reflective, shimmering. Then the angel sniffed.  "I'm fine with tomorrow, if you have time." he smiled, then rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb and sniffed again.

Oh.  Oh no. 

"Trevor, it's almost 10 in London. - You should be asleep."  The Brit laughed quietly at what sounded like honest worry in Richard's voice, though not sneering, really. "You're absolutely right.” he replied with a more firm voice. “- we should both go to bed." he got up and vanished the cups, ignoring the view from the balcony.  He squeezed Richard’s shoulder, then waved at him as he went through the sliding door and into the hotel room. 

Stopping there in the dark, with his back to the air demon, toeing off his socks. Unbuttoning his Barkeeper vest, taking it off. Folding it and placing it neatly on a chair, before beginning to unbutton his dress shirt. 

He tilted his head a little back to the balcony. "Are you coming or do you plan to stay there all night?" 

A speaking, nightly Fata Morgana in the middle of his hotel room.  Unbelievable.  Richard slowly made his way into the room. 

"Please close the door and turn up the thermo, it's as cold in here as out there." 

Richard closed the door and stared at what amounted to an optical illusion. Watched the white shirt slide down over the other man's lightly freckled shoulders, like the casual routine it probably was. Watched him slip out of it, the light from outside enhancing the soft shadows of his spine’s curvature and shoulder blades on the fabric of his close-fitting undershirt. 

This mirage however seemed, though unbelievable, to be physically there. Trevor had not left and he was doing what Richard thought he saw him doing. Unless it was a cruel trick of the light. He could maybe try to reach out for it, touch it even, if he dared.

Trevor was in the process of folding his shirt when he felt two arms wrap around his waist, a chin coming to rest on his shoulder and a chest pressing lightly against his back. The comfort that hit him when he smelled Richard's aftershave almost rolled over him like a wave.  "I'll keep you warm, okay?" The angel nodded into the embrace with a shaky breath. Fingers clutching into the fabric of the shirt, while the arms lowered in defeat.  "This isn't about the watch, is it?"  He felt Richard’s breath at his ear, on his temple, where a few hours earlier glass had cut deep. All pain that had still been there, now suddenly gone. He shook his head slowly, quietly, leaning into the embrace, closing his eyes. Like a hot, sweet tea going down his throat and spreading warmth and courage in his stomach on a cold Canadian night.

Then he felt Richard’s nose tousling his hairline as he kissed the nape of his neck. Gentle lips. A shiver going down his spine, goosebumps flaring up, heart beating faster, but also calmer... somehow. Richard’s hands moved to his belt buckle, until Trevor’s fingers interlocked with his. The angel shook his head almost imperceptibly, one hand still clutching the shirt. “I’d like to…” Trevor whispered hesitantly “... replace some old broken things… with new ones… but gradually...” 

Richard nodded, warm face against the angel’s cold shoulder, taking the shirt out of his hand.  “Gradually…” he replied, folding the shirt against Trevor’s belly, one hand guided by the angel’s.

The shirt appeared neatly onto the chair, as the two men-shaped beings sank into the soft covers of the bed. 

“...I’d like that…” Trevor mumbled curling his back up against Richard’s chest, pulling the demon’s arms tighter around himself. Richard buried his face in the angel’s surprisingly soft hair, breathing calmly, deeply. No gel tonight? He smelt incense and styrax but also salt and a hint of iron. “Sleep well, Trevor.” The tension in the other’s muscles broke away as he relaxed and he felt the skin noticeably heat up. The demon chuckled and kissed the angel behind the ear, before closing his eyes as well. “... thank you, Richard…”

[queerspeculativefiction]

Old stuff

Got talking with Alien, and remembered Cameron, so here are some old snippets from a book that’s never finished.

Probably some trigger warnings in there. A lot of them. Cameron is not nice. It is also old, like... 6 years old by now.

SNIPPET ONE - The whale problem

The park was nearly empty at this time of the day, the gravel paths a darker brown between the yellowed lawns. The sun was out, spring was here but the green had yet to follow, leaving a world of beiges and browns. The pond was empty of any ducks, the fountain dry and not yet running. It was desolate image, painted in subdued colours by the dust of nearby roads, but Cameron thought it almost peaceful. Sitting there, he could imagine that the world was dying the way he was, slowly aging into monochrome.

You never planned to be a part of the beige army, but one morning you woke up and found yourself there. Everybody put their pants on one leg at a time they said, but even those days were behind him. Now, he sat on the edge of the bed and gently eased his swollen feet into them. Then he rose and pulled, and with a bit of luck he just about managed. Maybe he should have help, but when you lived the life he had, you didn't take time off for raising a family. He probably had children somewhere, but had never stuck around to make sure. Prison tended to make a mess of any relationship, and after a while you just stopped trying.

Unlike some.

The woman had passed him twice now, a sharp young thing, all angles and shadows. She was leading a dog, a confused looking poodle that kept pulling at the leash.

"Either shit or get off the pot, girl." He spoke up because she disturbed him, made him remember, brought him back into a past he tried to forget

"You got a foul mouth for a wrinkled old prune," she replied, but her shoulders did the hunch of the guilty. He had not been wrong about her.

"I didn't know they let pakis in the force," he retorted, giving her a grim smile. At least he still had his own teeth, yellowed though they were.

"The name's Noor, not paki, they should have warned me you were an arse as well as uncooperative." She was standing with her arms folded now, the dog pulling on its leash with a whine.

"I'm only an arse to coppers," he said, looking up at her breasts. Smaller than he liked them, but still, beggars couldn't be choosers. "I'm kind to kids and animals. Unlike you."

"Oh, the dog?" She looked down at the struggling dog. "It's not mine; I borrowed it from a woman in the park to have an excuse to scout the place. They told me you'd bolt if you figured we were around."

"Look at me," he said, and both the dog and the girl did. He held up a finger and the dog sat down obediently, ears attentive. "You think I could run very fast?"

"You know what I mean." She looked increasingly uncomfortable but finally managed to look away.

"Say that I do. Say that you got me talking. It's still only for the pleasure of turning you down."

"Let him who has understanding reckon the number of the Beast, for it is a human number." Her voice had gone hard, insistent. "He's back. The Beast."

That made him fall silent. The dog started barking again, sensing the building tension.

"Last month there were three murders down by the banks," she started, voice hushed. "Like he used to do them. We hushed it up, nobody cares about dead Devkies. But the whispers started. He's moved in again, cleaned out the riverside, set up his own people there."

"He doesn't have any people anymore; he's been gone too long."

"Really? He got new ones then. Don't tell me that you haven't seen the signs. The rain of pigeons? The crows circling the city hall?"

"Don't tell me you've got the Sight, girl."

"Maybe I do. Runs in the family. And I know the law didn't stop him last time. You did."

"I had turf to protect then. An organization. I didn't need any jumped-up hellspawn trying to muscle in on my operation. These days I'm happy if I can have a decent piss."

"People will die."

"People always die."

"Not if I can help it."

"Girl... don't be an idiot. You'd be chewed up and spat out if you went up against him. You're hardly out of diapers; you even gave me your bloody name."

"Did I?" She looked straight at him, mouth curved in familiar displeasure.

"You... ah, clever girl. I suppose the vagueness of the wording would suffice. I was always fond of 'Call me Cameron' myself."

"I could never say that without thinking of Moby Dick."

"And yet you want me to go and hunt your white whale?"

"It's not really mine, is it? It's yours."

And the damn thing was that she was right.

...

The city felt so quiet, but the undercurrent of terror was already there. The murders plastered over the newspapers. The shadows you spotted on the way home after a late night out. The increase in looted stores and arson. Cameron had seen it all before, forty years ago when he was younger and the world was a different animal. He'd been in and out of prison since he could remember, and every time he got out, the world had made another turn. Things didn't change when you were away; you were locked inside the grey, preserved like a specimen in a jar until you were dumped out into a world that no longer needed you.

It had been bad enough during shorter stints, but when you were in for five, ten years you became a stranger in your own skin. Oh he'd learned things in there, in many ways more than he ever had in school. But it changed you all the same, and there came a time when he had seen enough and decided to retire to a life of feeding pigeons and watching young women jog past. A harmless old kook they called him, because age wiped away everything. Even a bad reputation. Once he had been a force to be reckoned with, now he was just a weak old man.

Still, there were worse things he could be. Like dead.

Was seriously considering this? Had the girl put the whammy on him? He thought not, she had the sight but he wasn't one to be talked into anything. Maybe it was just unfinished business. Maybe he was just picking a better spot to die than a bench in the park surrounded by a corona of pigeons. Of course there were worse ways too, and the Beast knew all about those. What was the old saying? 'And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.' He'd be lucky.

But he had always made his own luck.

...

"No, you can't get in old man. Just move along." The man was young and skinny and with a hungry look in his eyes, like all the Beast's thralls.

"Oh bugger off," Cameron said with enough force to make the man take a step back. "I want a chat with your boss."

"Let him in, Alfie." The drape had been pushed to the side, and an old woman popped her head out. Still striking despite her age, with pale skin pulled tightly against her skull. "He's expected."

Alfie stepped aside, still looking staggered, as if he'd got something stuck in his teeth that wouldn't budge. Cameron shuffled inside, trying not to lean on his cane too much. Honestly, he'd rather have his walker, but he guessed that would give a bad impression. The thought nearly made him laugh.

As if the Beast would care.

"So I am expected," he said, words sounding the waters as they shuffled down the corridors of the crack house. There were no doors here, the Beast did not approve of them. They held power, an older power than even he controlled. So as they walked, Cameron would get glimpses of what was going on through tattered drapes and curtains, things that might have blocked sights but never sound. If his skin wasn't so wrinkled it'd crawl.

"If you've ruined Alfie, I will be most cross," the woman said. "He's a hopeless druggie, but he's got a talented tongue."

"Ruined?" For a moment Cameron had no idea what she was talking about, and then he laughed. "Oh, the 'bugger off' bit? Not sure if it actually works that way. That'd be a laugh, wouldn't it?" If it had, he regretted not using it more. He could remember a few coppers who would have been well served by a long, hard fuck.

"No laughter here, Mr Cameron. I thought you'd remember the rules." She walked them upstairs, which was a slow process since his aging knees protested every step.

He did remember the rules. No laughter, another thing that held power. He'd watched the Beast do unspeakable things to a man's tongue for that particular transgression. Towards the end it had looked like a mouthful of worms writing in a bloodied nest, and he had to swallow hard to keep the memories down.

"I never was much for rules," he said with a shrug, more to keep his courage up than anything. "Who are you anyway? I feel like I should know your scrawny arse."

"You mean you don't recognize me? Shame on you Mr Cameron, you'd think you'd remember someone who's had your dick in her mouth."

"Nooo, little Sally Fielding?" He could see it now, when he looked. The teenage girl, all limbs and eyes and dark, dark passions. "I never thought he'd get to you of all people."

The shrug was nearly imperceptible. "He gets to everybody in the end. You should know that Mr Cameron."

They walked the rest of the stairs in uncomfortable silence.

...

The room was swathed in shadows, hundreds of candles making the heat almost unbearable. At least it would have been unbearable back when he was a younger man, but with age came the chills, and the need for electric blankets and warm sweaters. This, Cameron thought to himself not without irony, was probably the closest thing to warm he'd been in years.

"It's been a while," he said, because starting the conversation gave him the illusion of control. "Thought you'd decided to have a vacation in warmer climates."

"What can I say," the Beast said in his raspy voice, torn from the throat of his recent host. "Even wars get boring. I've missed the smaller, dirtier vices."

"And here I thought you missed me," Cameron said, fighting not to turn away from those piss-yellow stains that masqueraded as eyes.

"Maybe I did," the Beast admitted with an amused hum. "It is always a pleasure to see the mighty fall so far."

"As I recall, you took a bit of a tumble last time yourself." Where did he get the guts? No, he shouldn't be asking himself that. He had always been ready to piss in God's eye if it got him what he wanted. This was no different.

"I did," the Beast admitted, licking his lips. "Another thing I owe you."

Up until that point Cameron had hoped that maybe Noor would have been mistaken. There were any number of creatures that could have masqueraded as the Beast after all. Any number of terrors that went bump in the night. He had come here to make sure that she was wrong, that there was no need for new nightmares. But here, faced with the Beast, he had to admit the truth to himself. This was the real deal, or at least the same deal as the one he'd banished all those decades ago. This was the Beast, and he was back, and worse... he was smiling.

"Now, no need to talk old memories," Cameron said, hoping his voice sounded steady. "I'm just here to tell you that there's no need to unpack your bags. You won't be staying."

"Oh won't I? No attempt to even put some power into your suggestions, old man? Have you lost the knack for it?" The Beast had risen and was looming now, leaning close.

"Wouldn't do much good now, would it? Besides, I'm just the messenger this time." Just a worthless old man. Cameron willed himself to believe it.

"I see... then perhaps I should make sure to send a message back." The nails on the hand caressing his chin were as sharp as claws.

"Trust me; you really don't want to see me naked these days." He vividly remembered the message tossed on his own doorstep all those decades ago, the mutilated body naked and covered with marks of unspeakable torture.

"As if we cared about your looks," the Beast said, breath rancid. "You're all disgusting sacks of meat; it's the soul that matters. And I have been waiting for yours a long time."

"Mom lived past a hundred; you might have to wait longer yet." Cameron's knuckles were white over the hilt of the cane.

"I am patience."

"And I need to take a slash. The perils of old age you know. Bladder problems." He didn't look down, willed himself to keep looking into the inhuman eyes. "So if you're gonna torture, get on with it."

"I suppose there is no skill inherent in making an old man piss himself," the Beast admitted. "Begone and tell the people that sent you here that this town is mine now."

"I'll make sure to tell them that," Cameron assured, backing  out of the room until the drapes fell shut and he could turn without having those yellow eyes eating away at his back.

Well, that could have gone better. And worse.

Once he had limped down the stairs, past the hollow eyes and swollen veins, past the used needles and wasted flesh, he pulled up his phone and called the number Noor had given him.

"You're right," he said curtly, foregoing even insults in the face of what we had just seen. "We've got ourselves a whale problem."

-------

SNIPPET TWO - A History Lesson

Noor pushed back the phone in her pocket with an unmuttered curse. Her contact at the hotel has just told her Cameron had arrived, but about an hour later than needed. What the old man had been up to in the meantime was anybody's guess. Unfortunately, there was no allowance for guesswork in this, but neither was she in any position to call up the old man and yell at him. Not that he would listen.

"Bad news?" Sergeant Williams looked up from his screen, the blue light flickering over his weathered face.

"Just annoyingly expected ones." She resumed rifling through the archives, then caught herself and looked over at him again with a softer smile on her lips. "Thank you for letting me have a look through the dustbin, it's appreciated."

The dustbin was what people affectionately called the deep archives of the Met, the place where things that didn't quite fit ended up. Over the past century it had collected what others would call 'curiosities', cases and items that never showed up in the official files. Who had first started it was a matter for debate, but it was being quietly curated by the Sighted few, the ones that knew that there was more to the world than the police operational handbook told you.

"Just be quick about it, I could get in a lot of trouble if someone found you here. The super's not the forgiving type. As you might remember."

"I do." She realized how defeatalist her voice sounded and quickly added. "I still don't regret what I did. No matter the consequences."

"A lot of us agree with what you did, you know."

"I know." The words were without sarcasm, and she added a smile to drive the point home. "But thank you again all the same."

"Don't thank me, just finish up in a hurry."

"I would be finished if you'd got these files organized by now."

"Yeah, yeah. You and me both know that's not going to happen. What year are you looking for again?"

"1981. That's when it started."

...

1981

The riots had torn through the city all through the summer, fuelled by anger and desperation. The air had turned electric with frustration, the streets humming with anger, spending itself against storefronts and riot shields. Anybody with a uniform was a target, and Brixton had been a name that brought fresh fears and horrors to the headlines. But the riots had been beaten down and a sullen august arrived, unreasonably hot, with the moon hanging low and pregnant in the skies.

And then the river had caught fire.

Cameron was standing by the banks, feeling heat curl his thinning hair. It wasn't fair that a man in his thirties should be growing bald already, but this was one war he couldn't win so he had just shaved most of it off to hide the casualties.

"This is insane," he muttered, watching the flames leap and the heat dance mirages in the air above. "Where is the damn fire department?"

"The fire doesn't burn for everybody, Boss." Eelis lit up a cigarette, tossing the spent match in the flames to let it be consumed. "It's just like the maniac on the platform, ennit? Now you see it, now you don't, and before you know it they have slipped away and hidden in the urban legends. This can't be seen without Sight."

"Bullshit, I know what the Sight does, but I can feel this." Cameron reached out and pulled back his hand with a snarl, blisters forming on his hand where the flames had leaped up to bite. "And it sure as hell ain't no stinking urban legend, those pissants work in the shadows, reaching out to maybe two or three people at the most. This is a bloody river through the centre of the city! This is bold."

"Not just bold, Boss, it's for you I reckon. He's pulling you close. 'Only for the ones the Beast has marked, will the flames have bite as well as bark.' Remember that? Turns out the old nutter was right on the money." Eelis reached out, running his hand through the flames, it turned opaque, surrounded by the flame mirage, but did not burn.

"That's not the Beast out there," Cameron snapped, sucking on a blister.

"If you say so, Boss." Eelis shrugged. It was never wise to argue with a man that had climbed to where he was today over the gravestones of his predecessors. Organized crime was a dog eat dog world, and right now Cameron was working his way towards being the biggest, meanest dog of them all.

"It's just a bigger, nastier version of the Bloody Mary, and we dealt with her when we were bloody teens."

"Like you said, Boss. Bigger. Nastier."

"Still something that can be dealt with. Just got to find its weakness." Cameron rubbed his scruffy chin, mesmerized by the dance of the flames. Did he really smell the cooked meat and the sulphur? Did he imagine the pained moans and crackling fat?

"Not sure if it has any," Eelis said after considering it for a moment. "Well, except God. Could always try a priest."

"I don't believe in God," Cameron said firmly, turning his back on the flames at last.

"That's probably a good thing, Boss, since you've been pissing in his eye for years."

"Oh go fuck yourself and get Swan to come back in. We've got work to do. I'll be at the flat, call me when he gets here and not a moment sooner." Cameron yanked open the door to his car hard enough that Eelis flinched a little.

"Swan? What if he starts up some more trouble?" he asked cautiously.

"Grow a fucking spine and deal with it."

...

"Do you remember someone called Swan?" Noor put down the file she had been reading, checking with her notes. "Most likely a known associate of Joachim Cameron or Eelis Jones?"

"Swan, Swan... Roger Swan? Could that be the man?" Williams rose to join her, his stocky frame crowding her away from the cabinet. "Have you checked the Cameron file?"

"There is a Cameron file?" Noor gave the older man a stern look. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because you never mentioned that you wanted it." The shrug was amused, the moustache wiggling. "You've been going on about 1981 and the riots there, next time be a bit clearer my dear."

"I went through the computers about him, not much came up. I didn't know he was down here in the dustbins as well."

"Got one of the fatter files down here, at least of the recent ones. Old Nichols had a hard-on for Cameron for years, he collected every scrap no matter how out there. The sarge even threw a party once they'd finally nailed him. Fifteen years in Belmarsh.The old bastard will be a pensioner when he finally gets out."

"He is out. For a few years now. Retired from the looks." Noor took the file once that Williams had located it, the thick bundle somehow weightier than it should be. What was it about the old man that had given tbe Beast pause? Was it even him, or just his associates? She needed to know. "Swan, Swan," she mumbled as she leafed through the pages, then paused and reread. "Huh. Did you know Cameron had a girlfriend? I didn't think he was the type to settle down."

"Don't think he ever did." Williams smiled a little. "Men like him never cared where they stuck their dick, pardon ma'm, even if they happened to be in love."

"Love." Noor shrugged as she pulled out the picture of the young woman in question. "I very much doubt that ever ventured into it. That man doesn't have a soft bone in his body." If he had, he would have been less than useful to her cause.

...

1981

Dawn came early to the flat, situated at the top floor as it was. The previous owner had tossed himself out the window after seeing apparitions in the living room, and Cameron had always thought it gave the place a nice, quaint atmosphere. The woman next to him might have kept him awake all night, but she was blissfully Sightless and thus never noticed the shadows still haunting dark corners, waiting for easier prey.

"Strange," she said, running her fingers over his furrowed brow. "Usually you've stopped scowling by now." The sheets were tangled at the foot of the bed, the room too warm in the sweltering heat.

"Got a lot on my mind, babe," Cameron let his fingers trace the curve of her brown hip, the rounded little pot of a stomach. Everything was so soft and sweet about her, no sharp edges, no nasty hidden truths. She was a rarity for him, a woman that wanted nothing more than what he would give her, asked for nothing more than for him to just be himself. Not the big man. Not the tough guy. No masks.

"Don't call me babe," she chided, leaning in to kiss his nose, broken and healed too many times already. "My name is Maria."

"I wish you wouldn't do that," he flinched, pulling her on top of him so she lay draped there like a comforter, peering down at him with that amused little smile under the unruly afro.

"Do what?" she asked, shifting slightly to make herself comfortable, the smile widening as his hands kept trailing down her shoulders and spine.

"Give your name that freely. You shouldn't. It could be dangerous." But she walked in none of the hidden worlds; Maria was just Maria, a local girl, a convenience store clerk from down the block. She knew nothing of drugs or murder, of midnight beatings or the things that lurked behind mirrors or in alleys.

"You're such a worrywart," she said with the softest of laughs, running her fingers over his short hair. "No wonder you're growing bald."

"You told me that was testosterone." Cameron couldn't help but answer the smile though; she was the only one that he allowed to tease him like that. Like he was just a normal bloke, the dealer of luxury cars that he pretended to be. And maybe that was her particular magic, that right here, pressed down into the bed under her soft, curvy body, he felt at peace. Content. Like the rest of the world could go fuck itself, like whatever burning need for more he had always nursed in the pit of his stomach had grown content, at last.

"Well, maybe I lied," she teased, rubbing the tip of her nose against his.

"I'd like to see you try." Cameron wasn't even kidding there, he had seen her try to lie before, about the little things, and it had always ended in mumbled excuses. He couldn't call her innocent, not with the things they were up to in bed, but there was a sweetness to her that utterly disarmed him.

Was he in love? He'd considered it before, and every time he said goodbye to her he talked himself into believing otherwise, but there was no denying the effect she was having on his greedy heart. Like always, when he lay here happy, sated, he promised himself that maybe he should quit the others. Stay faithful. Be a good man.

It never lasted. He was not a good man, very, very far from one in fact. She just made it possible for him to pretend differently, just for a little.

"Don't tell people your name anymore," he said to her, putting every ounce of conviction, of talent, into that whispered order.

"Don't start being weird again," she chided, sliding off to the side so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "Dawn's here, we should get some sleep. Lucky for you I'm on an afternoon shift today."

"Yeah, lucky me" Cameron sighed, wrapping an arm around her. Nothing. He could talk a nun out of her knickers, and all his suggestions slid off her like mere words. She wasn't just Sightless, she lacked even the rudimentary senses that made people heed his words and look over their shoulder when something wicked came their way. She was for all intents and purposes immune to the world he half lived in.

Maybe that was why he treasured her so. That he could know she was with him because she wanted to be, he could not coerce her, could not talk her into things she might never have done otherwise. She was here by choice, with him. And there was nothing more powerful than that.

...

"Got him." Noor grinned and pulled out a picture of the man named Swan, a skinny, bespectabled blonde with a menacing look to him. She had been certain he had heard him refered to before, and if she was planning to have a hope in hell of succeeding with the task she had set herself, she would need every ace in the hole. From the look, he'd be the same age as Cameron now, was he retired as well?

She leaned back and chewed a pencil, then checked and rechecked her notes. Swan had been a shadow to Cameron's light, the power behind the throne whispered some. Nood didn't believe that, after having met the man she couldn't imagine Cameron playing second fiddle to anybody. No, Swan must have been useful to him, in other ways than mere muscle. Someone that walked the hidden paths? Someone with more magical clout than the former mob boss? Possibly, there had been rumours of a falling out and she had failed to locate the man when she had tried. And that was what she did after all. Finding things. Finding a way. And right now she was assembling the pieces of the puzzle that had been the Beast's bane once before.

Not that her task didn't make her crack a smile, she hadn't really imagined people powerful enough to worry the Beast being that... well, old. The charge of the pensioners didn't really have much of a ring to it, and most of the people she was tracking down came up dead. Cameron however was still very much alive and as nasty as ever. But back in the day he had help, and those were the clues she was hunting for in these old case-files, notes scribbled down by scruplously honest (and Sighted) officers who knew nothing they put down would ever be believed. Maybe they hoped for someone like her to come around one day, someone that knew enough to connect the dots. To read their story and make sense of it.

They themselves were long since dead. Another reccuring theme in her research. It made her wonder about the wisdom of her retirement fund.

...

1981

Cameron was in a cab, stuck in traffic, when the pigeons started to fall from the skies. At first there was one, a feathered body thumping softy on the hood. Then came the next, a soft impact on the roof, and then the rain started. Broken bodies, broken wings, feathers fluttering, small bodies ground to paste between the slowly moving wheels. The cab drove a few yards, and then stopped again while the thumping continued. People on the sidewalk had stopped and stared, dodging into stores to keep out of the birdfall. Setting his face in a deeper scowl, Cameron stuck a few bills to the driver, and then stepped out in the middle of the road, causing cars to stop and swerve.

"You think this scares me?" he bellowed to the skies, ignoring the looks he got. "Well, fuck you too assholes."

It took him fifteen minutes to make his way to the pub on foot, sweaty and cursing every inch of the way. Swan and Eelis was already there when he arrived, nursing their beers.

"Looks like someone didn't get fried sunny side up today," Swan said lightly, the alchemist looking insufferably smug. They hadn't seen each other since Cameron banished him from the boroughs, and to be called back now had apparently left him in the most pleasant of moods.

"Watch it or I'll make sure it's your balls that gets fried," Eelis said, elbowing the man in the side.

Cameron said nothing, just sank down in the chair, locking eyes with the alchemist. Swan was a clever little prick and he had great use of him in the past, but he was too clever for his own good and had dipped too deeply into funds he shouldn't have access to. The mere fact that he was still alive was testament to his talent, because while Cameron might be a vindictive bastard he was not stupid. And people like this little shit were too rare to kill unless you had no other choice.

"You can say it, you know," Swan said, easily keeping Cameron's gaze while most men would have looked down already. "In fact, I think you have to say it."

There was a moment there when the silence grew thick enough to cut, and then Cameron took a deep breath and shrugged.

"You were right."

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"Don't rub it in. I broke your fingers last time, I could just as easily cut them off, and then where would you be?"

"Now, now, you never had a sense of humour, Mr Cameron. No need for violence."

"I'm not here for that. I'm here for answers."

"I gathered, word's been spreading, Hell is seeping into the city and that little exile you sent me on suddenly seems like a smart idea."

"There is no Hell."

"People might disagree, some might say life is hell, but this city has been hell for enough people that it tends to stick around. Like lice and cockroaches it lurks in the dark corners just waiting for the spark."

"The Beast."

"That's what he calls himself now, and who am I to argue?"

"A bloody superstitious cunt. He's nothing more than another Ripper or a Spring Heeled Jack. Find the right angle and he's just smoke in the wind."

"And mess this up and we might have another Masque of the Red Death, or the Mistress of Smog."

"Or another Great Fire of London," Cameron admitted grudgingly. "Like back in 1666, the blighter's been alluding to it. The burning river, the number of the Beast. I'm not stupid, Swan, tell me what I don't know."

"Anything is bound by rules, even him. If he plays at being the Beast, might consider finding faith." Swan shrugged and chugged the beer.

"Not gonna happen. And if I start playing by his rules, then he's already won." Cameron heard the words spilling from his mouth while his mind was reeling from what he had just realized he was planning to do.

"Why do I have the feeling you didn't call me back here for my sage advice? You already have a plan, don't you?" Swan's bleary eyes had grown sharp behind his glasses, the jovial mask slipping.

"I do," Cameron admitted while his guts slowly churned. "This is my bloody town, or will be very soon, and I have no plans to let some hellspawn get the better of me. My town, my rules, and he's going down."

"You planning on being a bigger bastard than he is?" Swan asked, bemused. "Good luck with that."

"Eelis," Cameron said, causing his subordinate to straighten a little in the chair. "Go get Maria, take her to the flat and keep her there. Tell her that it's important. That it will be a surprise."

"Done, Boss." Eelis rose, hesitated for a moment, but then left quickly, objections unvoiced.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Swan asked, emptying the beer that Eelis had left behind.

"Not particularly. Just useful." Cameron's words were clipped now, down to the bare minimum to get the point across. "I need you to forge an Echo for me. In the form of a blade. A small one, I need to be able to hide it."

"I... can do that," Swan admitted. "If you have the tools, but I figure you wouldn't call me back unless you were ready."

"You're right. I wouldn't."

"Of course it'll be next to useless against the Beast, you know. One, he's not stupid enough to confront you openly. Two, no matter what you quench it in, it's unlikely it's gonna do more than smart. Unless you've got the most pious saint in Britain stacked away somewhere."

"I haven't. Got something better. Don't worry about it; just do your fucking job."

"If I do..."

"Then you're allowed back. Just don't piss on my property without me saying yes first."

"I'll be a good boy, I've missed the City."

"Now get to work."

...

"This doesn't add up." Noor sighed and stretched a little. Swan was an alchemist and a tool maker. He didn't do banishments, there weren't any indications of faith or that he'd ever been a priest. Demons, or djinns, or whatever you would call them followed rules and strictures as harsh as the laws of men. Swan had no authority there, and neither did Cameron. And yet the Beast had been banished. Was she wrong about her approach? What was she missing? Her brain felt sluggish in the dusty room, the lack of air and fans lent the stillness a tomb-like quality. She needed a break and turned to Williams for advice. "What are the chances that someone will spot me if I do a detour to the coffee maker?" The coffee here was legendary bad, the kind that turned your gut to acid. The best kind in her opinion.

"You're a wee bit recognizable in that getup," Williams replied with the faintest of smiles.

"Are you making fun of my religion?" Her smile echoed his, you had to learn to grow a thick skin when you choose to wear the hijab as part of your uniform.

"No, just your dress sense." Williams kept a straight face.

"Says the man with that moustache. But I suppose you're right. Wouldn't want to get you into trouble."

"Me? How about yourself?"

"I know what I'm doing."

"That I don't doubt. Just the wisdom of it. Just sit tight and I'll bring you back a cuppa, how does that sound?"

"Heavely. I've got what... twenty pages of handwritten interrogation transcript notes to go through here, and I'm not sure where the original tape is."

"If it's not down here, probably lost for good. You and me both know that the dustbin is the last stop for most of the oddities. Someone propably managed to save the notes when the tape was destroyed."

"But this is from a murder investigation, they can't just disappear those, can they?"

"They can, and you know it. If it wasn't used against Cameron in his trial, it's probably..." Williams hesitated a little.

"Someone buried it." Noor was surprised at how hard her voice sounded, she knew that Cameron had murdered people, and yet to have that laid out in front of her stung like a slap. Could good be done with evil tools? Was she doing the right thing?

The truth was that she didn't know.She just knew that she was running out of choices fast. The Beast was not a patient creature.  And if she'd be damned in the process, at least that was her own choice. She knew what she was getting into.

So she kept on reading.

...

1981

On the rooftop, the wind stole both words and breath, but nobody was in a mood to talk. The rain had started falling, hiding the tears running down Maria's cheeks, to be absorbed by her gag. Cameron didn't meet her gaze, just kept running his hand over the Echo that Swan had forged, twisted silver lined by runes, a black hole waiting to be filled with Meaning. The alchemist was busying himself with the runes, thick swathes of black tar making bold patterns on the concrete rooftop, untouched by the growing downpour.

"You sure it's gonna hold him?" Eelis asked, one arm around Maria, restraining her, though she was securely tied.

"For a few seconds maybe," Swan said with a shrug. "If we're lucky and he shows up at all."

"Oh he's gonna come," Cameron said, willing himself as hard as the concrete under his feet. "I'm gonna cut out my own heart, there ain't no way he can resist showing up to fucking piss on it. He's nothing but a big, fat buzzard, out to feast on the suffering of man."

"It's done then," the alchemist said and stepped back. "I've done what I can. The rest is up to you."

"Good," Cameron said, pooling all his frustration and grief into the words. "Then step over the ledge and take the quick way down."

"You bastard," Swan said, face whitening as he slowly started walking towards the ledge despite himself. "I cu..."

"Silence!" Cameron shouted, and the alchemist's mouth snapped shut, his eyes growing wide. "Didn't know I could do that, could you? I've not been complacent while you were away. No way am I letting you run roughshod over my city, not after witnessing this."

There was no triumph in his voice though, just tired grief and power. Swan had been a tool, but someone needed to pay for this, and part of him felt slightly content when they saw the wispy man step over the ledge and fall to his messy death in silence.

"I hope you're not gonna do that to me, Boss." To his credit, Eelis's voice didn't waver.

"You would jump off the ledge from sheer loyalty to me, wouldn't you?"

Eelis's nod was small, almost imperceptible. "I'd rather not, though."

"Don't worry, such loyalty is a precious and rare thing. Should be preserved. Now bring the girl to me."

Anne. Her name was Maria. Not the girl. Not babe. He could see her eyes telling him that. No anger, not yet. Confusion. A bit of fear.

"I'm sorry, babe," he said, running a hand over her cheek. "You should never have told me your name. And you should never have fallen in love with me."

She was struggling now, but her arms were tied, and her legs had just enough stretch in the ropes so she could tiptoe. Did you never love me, her eyes kept asking as he pulled her close? Was it all pretence?

"I did really love you, Maria," Cameron whispered, not bothering to hide the tears now. "This would never work otherwise."

The blade made no sound when it slit her throat open, blood gushing over them both, eyes widening, then growing dim. He held her gently in his arms as she died, felt the blade drink her essence, the Echo of her spirit caught, his own pain amplified by the surrounding runes. He wanted to kill himself. For the first time in his life he truly contemplated doing what the shadows in the apartment below had urged him to and jump of the edge. Face the fall. End this. Wash away the eyes, worse than accusing... confused. Hurt.

He never wanted to hurt her, the one good thing in his life that wasn't tied to misery and death. And now he had killed her. It was only when he heard the laughter that he opened his eyes, looking into the triumphant gaze of the Beast.

Yellow. Like pissholes in the snow. Mocking. Inviting. Burn or bend, serve or be consumed, this was an appetite that dwarfed his own. Or so he had thought. Had feared. But he had been wrong. The beast had been wrong.

The blade slid into the beast's gut as easy as it had slit Maria's throat. He twisted and yanked upwards, seeing eyes widen and grow green, then blue.

"What... are you doing?" the Beast gasped.

"Ending you," Cameron replied. Maria's body had sagged to the ground between them, he was embracing the Beast now, as it was shrinking from threatening creature to the shrivelled Devkie it had invaded in the first place.

"You... can't..." flies dying by the hundreds filling windowsills through the distant city.

"I can because I will it." Cameron yanked the dagger again, felt the edge scraping ribs. "First rule, do what thou wilt. Second rule, any great act of power demands an equal sacrifice."

"But I..." the crows that had been circling the rooftops had taken flight, rain and feathers the same faded grey.

"Am the Beast? She never believed in that bullshit. Or in magic. To her you're just a Devkie cunt. And I am ending you." The blade was as immune to the power as Maria had been, immune to healing, to destruction. The natural laws were for once immutable, and there was nothing special about the man that he was killing. Nothing special at all. The eyes grew wide, stared blindly, and then the man that had been the best sank down to his knees, then fell over. Dying. Dead.

All was silent now as the rain poured down, mixing with the blood. The oppressive august heat had broken at last, the city sated, the madness spent.

"Want... want me to get rid off the bodies, Boss?" Eelis spoke nervously, and got the briefest nod in return.

"Yeah... do that." Cameron ran a hand over his face, then looked at it to see whether it was steady. It was. "Do that and then contact the boys. The Beast's territories should we wide open. We're moving in immediately."

It was done. Both the terror of the Beast and this illusion of a different fate for him. Now only the hunger remained. The hunger and the City.

...

"Shit." Noor let the word slip out as she looked at the notes spread out in front of her, the grainy pictures of what had once been a man that fell from a building, and a woman found burned beyond recognition a week later. A suicide and a murder with an unknown assailant.It had been tagged as a possible British Boys deed, a black supermarket cashier ending up with her throat slit and no enemies.

"Was that a curse?" Williams put down the cup in front of her, and she drank it down despite the burn. As if the pain had somehow been her salvation.

"I'm wondering if I'm heading down the wrong track or not," she admitted with a pained smile. "These notes... Eelis Jones was it that testified? Why wasn't this brought to trial?"

"I guess people had their reasons to bury it. As had this Jones for telling what he did. Maybe he thought his boss had gone to far."

"You can't go too far in that business, Jones would know that. Maybe this was bragging." She couldn't be sure, but part of her wondered if Cameron wasn't the kind of man who wanted his story told. Wanted recognition of his victory. She had used men that before, but it was a risky prospect.

Nevertheless she had to do something. And now she knew what.

[1800-seungshine]

monochrome.

member: park jihoon  genre(s): highscool!au, lowkey crack, comedy(?) summary: a complete social recluse with a daunting aura paired with dark clothes; don’t be fooled by her appearance because underneath her monochrome concept lies a girl whose steps are as colorful as yours. (requested - bullet point format) word count: 1.5K

smh look at me and my slow ass updating 

but y’know what let’s just get started before i disown myself

you’ve effortlessly managed to catch park jihoon’s attention

it’s funny bc you always stuck to the walls, barely spoke a word and never seemed to smile 

you also have this rbf adorned on your face 25/8 

and it’s so great that everyone has stayed away from you 

oh and of course your choice of colour schemes made up of black, white and grey, has also got everyone believing you were highkey emo 

but tbh you just thought it wouldn’t draw attention to you

well,,, your thoughts were proven wrong bc jihoon senpai noticed you 

he just doesn’t know why

(in reality, his eyes were opened into a whole new world when you had t sit next to him in a class once bcs someone stole your seat and from there he took note of your existence, let alone the clash between you two) 

and by clash i meant how you two were completely polar opposites

jihoon was one of the popular kids in school who manages to politely smile and greet anyone he crosses paths with 

he also rocks up to school in those bright an eccentric clothes that only he can manage to pull off bc wow just look at those heavenly visuals he got blessed with 

and contrary to you, jihoon always finds himself being the centre of attention without trying

so the alluring contrast between you two drew him as if he was a magnet 

and as creepy as it sounds, jihoon began to silently observe you from afar and every time he observes you, he notices something new like how you habitually bite on your lower lip whenever you’re focused or how he knows what classes you disliked bc you zone out the most during those lectures 

of course with every observation, the more jihoon was drawn to you bc no person treading on earth shows only one side of themselves 

and he knows that there’s a lot more than what you show 

however, the more his eyes wandered to you, the more he began to think of you 

and little by little, he started to unknowingly fall for you 

it took him a while to realise it though with denial being his first instinct 

‘you’re just curious about her, jihoon. nothing more, nothing less.’ he used to think to himself

but then one afternoon, he was walking home from school with an ice cream in his hand bearing multiple thoughts in his head

and then jihoon just stops his tracks 

bc he realised that all thoughts were about you 

like it has been for the past few weeks 

“i like y/n.” 

achievement unlocked! realisation of feelings +20pts :^D 

after that, he became more desperate as each day passed bc he wanted to get to know you 

like forget about his huge little crush on you

he wants to know you as a friend

but the real problem was that he wasn’t sure how 

until you crossed paths with you 

it was in a small cafe located in the heart of the city where jihoon found himself sitting behind you and your friends one weekend

and his supposed plans of studying suddenly became an eavesdropping and lowkey-highkey stalking session 

meanwhile you were completely oblivious to this bc wow you just had to sit where your back was facing him .inserts slow clapping. 

your friends took notice of him though

i mean who the hell wouldn’t; despite trying to be discreet about it, his eyes were just on you every single minute and would immediately whip his head to the side like he didn’t do anything whenever your friends caught him

so they decided to break it to you bc wow someone’s checking out their friend for once??

your friends begin to talk in a hushed tone as they lean closer to table 

“y/n there’s this really cute boy who’s been looking at you since forever”

you simply scoff, rolling your eyes at them before replying with pure sarcasm laced in your tone of voice

“yeah and this “cute boy” must have a skin clearer than my future”

“he actually does if you bothered to take a look behind you.” 

still unpersuaded, your eyes squint accusingly bc bOi you ain’t getting fooled today

“kids the last time you said that i turned around to see the rubbish bin- like ok i get it trash meets trash. wow we meant to be.” 

your friends all looked at each other and facepalmed, “no idiot - we’re serious this time. he’s been listening to your nonstop talking of the important videos playlist.” 

“oh and i think he got slightly traumatised when he was watching you dabbing and singing to the guacamole song,,,” 

“lol who wouldn’t be? that was the most embarrassing thing i’ve seen in my entire life-” 

“i’m sorry but i don’t think i signed up for show me the money—why are y’all dissing me?” you interrupt them with your nose scrunching in distaste before you raise your index finger to accusingly point at them, “if i see a trash can, i'm going to lecture each and every one of you before dropkicking your asses to the great wall of china.”

“ok yeah gr8 now can you pls just turn around and look at him, it’s too painful to see him trying to be all secretive when he’s making it so obvious that he’s checking you out.”

“tsk, you kids never listen to me and besides, this guy probably does’t even exist.” 

“pls y/n we’re already betting fifty chicken nuggets that you’re gonna be shook to the core.” 

so without really having a choice you decide to turn around and who do you see?

park jishook

oh wait that ain’t his name 

uh,,,, jihoon ye him 

well your friends weren’t lying to you 

cos you’re so damn diddly sh00keth even shookspeare got nothing on you 

ok i’m kinda high on milk pls excuse 

achievement unlocked! exposing yourself +30pts 

“oh god, i have been exposed.” was the only thing you can manage to say once you find yourself in a staring competition with jihoon 

on the otherhand, jihoon was mostly thinking the same thing bc w0w he just got caught stalking you

best thing he can do now is play cool

“oh,,, hi y/n. fancy seeing you here...haAhaAha...” 

the coolest i tell you

your friends however has decided to all stand up from their seats, “wOw wOuLd yOu lOok aT tHe tImE. wE gOtTa zAyN.” 

and you begin to stand as well bc they’re trying to save you such blessed friends

until they push you back down to your seat 

“except you can stay here and accompany this cute guy. you seem to know each other, right? it’s rude to leave him all lonely.”

“wHAT BUT—”

“lmao nope byeeee” they all say in strange unison as they begin to leave the cafe one by one

damn u got snitched 

but hey look on the bright side though bc you’re not alone 

jihoon’s there too 

so seeing that you already exposed yourself, you decided to leave your table to take the seat in front of him

“sorry about my friends, they’re pretty crazy.” the timid exterior he was once used to begins to show again once you began to talk

yet jihoon lets out a soft chortle, shaking his head in amusement at your sudden 360 change, “i think you were a lot crazier than they were to be fairly honest.” 

his words slowly processes in your head and you simply blink at him, “did you just diss me...?” 

fearing that his remark was taken wrongly, jihoon’s eyes widen and begins to make hand gestures, stumbling a little as he replies, “n-no! i meant that as a good thing, i- uh,,, yeah i should have thought that through.” 

though the next moment, jihoon finds himself in a daze once he hears a laugh beginning to escape your lips as you watch his flustered state

and the way your eyes crinkled up at him paired with that glowing smile of yours made him realise that wow you’re a lot cuter than he thought¿

and after seeing a side of you that he’s never encountered before, jihoon decides to take this opportunity; pushing aside the fear of rejection and judgemental stare he might receive by impulsively asking you

“i know this might sound weird and rather sudden but if you don’t have anything else to do, do you just wanna hang out with me for the rest day?” 

and you slowly nod your head as a reply, flashing a timid smile at his way as you casually reply, ignoring the pink tint dusting your cheeks. “sure, i don’t see why not. i don’t really have a life to tend to anyways.” 

jihoon laughs at your comment, packing his stuff away before standing up with a huge grin on his face. 

“well, let’s pretend that we have lives that we’re suppose to prioritise when we’re clearly just procrastinating. how does that sound?” 

“sounds like a plan.” 

so jihoon spends the rest of his day with you realising that you aren’t as dull as everyone assumed you to be

bc even just by walking beside you, he can already tell that you shine the brightest out of everyone in the crowd.

[mx-mystic]

RWBY Volume 5 Chapter 4

​Honestly, as a psych student, this episode is really good. I'll even separate it into categories and put it under a readmore for spoilers/length.

Tl;dr from a fan's perspective: the Yang fight was badass, the Semblance Talk was really insightful and makes me think that Yang may have more control over her damage thing (ie not having to get hit first) because she's changed as a character so much, and the ending was actually the cutest thing in this show besides Zwei!

Yang's fight:She's so calm and collected! And graceful! I'm proud of her progress for having new strategies besides "hit it til it stops moving"! (Sidenote: the Wild West/RVB remix of Armed & Ready is the best) That's really all there is to say about that.

Training: They really flipped the whole "male character knocks female character down and feels bad when she starts tearing up. female character then smiles, revealing that this was her intention, and knocks him out" thing. Ruby just kept it up like it was just another fight. No trickery or anything. That being said, Oz really must like being in a tiny body again cuz the smile on his face when he headbutts her is actually kinda adorable? Also, being your own teacher is impossible IRL, so imagine what it's like for Oz to try to train Oscar and vice versa. They're not just Oscar's own mental notes, so it must be really distracting for him hearing a voice giving him advice mid-fight! So, since Oz has been doing this for who knows how long, he's obviously built up some good tactics (giving tips before a fight not during and teaching through experience probably apply here) and I'd like to know more about what he's learned through the years of having this "curse".

Also fighting is really hard and exhausting, even if you've been lifting heavy stuff on a farm every day for years. It's a different set of muscles and RT knows that.

Semblance Stuff: It seems to me a Semblance is like a thing you stumble upon when you need it. Ren needed to hide his emotions from Grimm, who are only attracted to negative emotions. Ruby needed to be faster for training. Nora...explained it herself (Also the Thursday thing was real subtle RT. Nice one.) That makes the Glyphs being hereditary make a lot of sense. "What power do we give the family who has everything? The ability to make more things!" Anyways, Ruby diffusing what Jaune was about to say about himself ("I can't do anything.") and instead substituting a kinder option that made him feel less alone made me happier just to watch! You can see on their faces that look of "I might not be there yet, but look at this guy! He's not there yet either, but he's still really good! We can both work on it and get stronger!" Also, I like that Ren said "a common philosophy" and then a few of the sides Fan-Theorists have taken in regards for what Semblance is.

Raven and Yang: Raven does actually seem proud of Yang at the beginning! Even through the sarcasm, the look she has at the beginning gives it away. She knew someone was showing up, but didn't know it was going to be Yang. Yang's arm shaking... my guess is she saw the mask, the sword, and the colours and was reminded of Adam.  She's been hoping her daughter would come to her at some point, but when she finds out why she's really there, she feels so betrayed! I wonder how many times family has done that to her before... Though the "Family. Only coming around when they need something." line sounds a little...Ironic? Hypocritical? Anyways, Yang has really become a master tactician! Saving time and the Remnant equivalent of gasoline by going to mom instead of driving around an entire continent? Avoiding fights as much as possible to conserve ammo? Controlling her anger to make an example of one of the goons? Is this even the same Yang?? I also wonder what Raven knows about Oz. I get why she doesn't want her going with Qrow, with the whole Semblance thing, but Oz? I wonder what he did... And she really does miss having family, no matter what she says. The end gives it away. She's the closest she's probably ever gotten to begging for Yang to stay with the...clan? Tribe? She does put safety before anything, though, which I can respect.

Weiss and Yang: Now this is the part I’m super interested in, psychologically speaking. I also feel like I need to say some of these things due to many calling it ‘ship bait’ or ‘shoehorning stuff in’. And if that is the case, which I’m not sure it is, I’m actually kinda proud of RT for going against three very popular ships (Bumblebee/by, White Rose/Ice Flower, and Monochrome/Checkmate)

It makes so much sense that they meet first! I mean, obviously the Raven thing, but they were both the most distraught about being away from the rest of their team, after all. Ruby has JNR, Qrow, and Oz, Blake has her family and Sun... The only people who were kind to Weiss and Yang were Klein and the guy driving the airship and Tai and his occasional teacher guests respectively. Other than that, they've been effectively alone and traveling in dangerous conditions for the past however long and, while there can be kind people on long journeys, it's pretty safe to say that they're pretty few and far-between. Yang also, as we've gathered from this episode, hasn't been getting the letters Ruby was sending and Weiss almost definitely had no contact with anyone she actually cared for besides Winter who isn't exactly into being the Poster Woman for Sympathy/Empathy. ​They had basically one person that they left to search for everyone else and may have found one or two people along their journey that were kind to them. They've been on practically parallel journeys (leaving their fathers to search for their sisters in an unforgiving environment and getting mixed up with the exact same crowd) so before you start complaining that the ending is 100% purely for the fans and shipping and whatever, take where they've been and what they've been through into account. I get it, 'they used that same music with the Renora reveal', and 'the way they're hugging definitely isn't how people without crushes on each other hug' but still. Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% onboard that ship if RT decides that's the one that'll set sail, but humans are complex creatures with complex emotions. If you were to be forcibly cut off from civilization and friends you'd been through so many life-changing experiences with for an undisclosed amount of time (probably upwards of 8 months based on the events of V4) and made to feel like a prisoner and criminal, you'd probably hug the first one of your friends you come across like that, too.

[keirnytee]

As soon as February 18, 2019 ended and my 29th year of life began, I was faced with the reality that 2019 was going to be my last year being 20+. I knew then I had to make the best of being Twenty Nine and that I did and that I did *winks* (more on this later). 

               New York Lounge

Last year I wanted to celebrate my birthday at The Strings Hotel Nagoya, Japan (ストリングスホテル名古屋) by having a tea party, however, that idea didn’t go according to plan for various reasons that I mentioned in my birthday blog, Seven Months to Twenty Nine. A year later, I decided to revisit the idea. I took a tour of the location once again (not that I needed to but I’m extra lol) and I was still in love with it just as much as I did the first time I laid my eyes on its beauty. As is the norm for the New York Lounge (the area where they serve afternoon tea), there was a theme for this season. The theme for this winter was Marie Antionette. You know, the “let them eat cake” lady. Anyways, I was pretty excited about this because it meant they would serve colourful pastry with some very flavourful tea.

Frame Just For Me

Now, I needed something to make my birthday afternoon tea a real standout…well more than it already would be. I’ve always wanted one of those Instagram selfie frames that you see people with in photos for different events and thought this would be perfect. I did a quick search and to my surprise, there were quite a number of places in my city that I could seek info. Lord, please let it be inexpensive. One evening, I visited the closest office to the main train station I use to commute to and from work. I was lucky enough that a staff member was able to communicate effectively with me in English. Yes, I’ve been living in Japan for too long to not know Japanese, but that’s the way life goes. After gathering the information I needed about the cost for a specialized frame, I made the choice to make the project a DIY. The end result, perfection.

Who’s Coming To Tea?

I invited two friends to join in this intimate birthday celebration. Unlike last year’s wish for getting dressed up in fancy pastel garb, I opted for a monochromatic theme. When I mentioned this to my friends they were a bit confused at first but were right on board after I explained it to them and what I was going for (I had a vision of an explosion of monochrome, knowing in the back of my mind that I’d still get just a hint of pastel. I wasn’t fully letting go of that fantasy. LOL). The only rule was that they couldn’t wear any of the colours I had in mind to wear for myself. LOL. Even if they didn’t show up in monochrome, I knew I’d be.

Did Someone Say Monochrome?

As with any birthday or event, I needed to choose the perfect outfit for me. Read that again, I needed to choose the perfect outfit for me. I had bought this coat from Zara over the Christmas holidays for about 250USD and I was just dying to wear it. The Strings Hotel Nagoya was the perfect place. The problem though was finding the right shades of the colour I chose to go with to match the theme. I spent days and weeks trying on different pieces of clothing in multiple stores, sometimes the same outfit more than once but I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted. You see, it’s still winter but it’s also almost spring so the stores are in transition between the two seasons. This meant that most of the warm stuff were being phased out. Options that weren’t going to be available when I would finally arrive at a decision. Chidi from The Good Place would be proud. Haha!

Since I wasn’t sure what the actual weather conditions would be like on the day of my party, it was much harder to make a choice. The weather forecast said it would rain but knowing my city, I didn’t know whether it would be heavy or light rain, whether it would also be windy or even what the temperature would be. See my dilemma? Should I wear a sweatshirt? Carduroy pants? Should I risk wearing white sneakers? I pondered these questions and more for several days and I made the choice of buying all that I could, put the looks together in my apartment and return (yes, return) the items I no longer needed. I’m unapologetic when returning items. I ended with a look I was really happy with. A head to toe look with everything from Zara (I won’t tell you how much this costed me. Haha!)

Talk 30 To Me: Happy F-ing Birthday

The day finally arrived. The day I’d celebrate 30 Years Around The Sun. I was beaming with the utmost gratitude for just being alive. The weather forecast said it would rain all day but I didn’t care. It’s not like we were having the event on the outside. I reached out to my guests just to reconfirm the time and place so that we were all still on the same page. I started getting ready while blasting the speakers in my apartment with Troye Sivan’s Dance To This ft. Ariana Grande. I’m really 30. Wow!

I arrived at The Strings Hotel at around 13:31 and was just taken aback by the overwhelming feeling of pure joy. It was an indication that all I was really pleased with what I chose to do. The lounge had more people than I expected and I was definitely all right with that. My first guest arrived shortly after I did and we started the drinking until my other guest showed up. Now, when I say drinking I mean orange juice. LOL. Guest number two showed up and the tea party began. We glanced at the menu to see what we’d be served as the menu was set for afternoon tea. The only choice we’d have was for the different flavoured teas, my fav was the Marco Polo.

Tea Is Served

The Menus

Our waitress brought out a pair of three-tiered trays filled with the sweetest scrumdiddlyumptious desserts, two plates of scones, biscuits with a cold savoury soup an two plates of savoury nibbles. Yum!

The Menus

Let Them Eat Cake

Just like last year, I ordered a special cake from the amazing Trisha Painuyl. I reached out to her at the beginning of the month and explain exactly what I wanted. My cake was a cookie n cream cheesecake with a caramel crust and mirror glazed fondant that was dyed pink. I had to make it match the theme. The only thing we couldn’t do was have our cake and eat it too. LMAO, this so funny cuz it’s true.

The conversation kept flowing. The energy was just right and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. I didn’t feel any different than I did at 29 nor 28 nor…well you get the picture. But I suppose I was different or I am now different. Whichever. The hours went by and it was time to leave the venue. Gutted. However, we brought the cake back to another friend’s apartment to cut it and for them to have a taste of what Trisha made. The cake was superb and met my every expectation. Thank you Trisha.

There’s so much more I could say but it wouldn’t be enough. I’m just thankful for this life. At times I thought (and maybe I still do from time to time) that things just don’t ever go right for me but so much has gone right and for that, I am thankful.

30 Years Around The Sun ain’t half bad.

–KEIRN

30 Years Around The Sun As soon as February 18, 2019 ended and my 29th year of life began, I was faced with the reality that 2019 was going to be my last year being 20+.

[weliveourdream]

Hola everyone.

And welcome to another week. And to December. It’s freaking December. When did that happen? I feel like I’m stuck in between two places right now, where I want both summer back and a load of snow at the same time. But one thing is definitely clear – time is flying by and 2020 is gonna be here in a snap and I still feel like I just moved to London, like, yesterday. Honestly, all of this is way too crazy. And as fast as it all has happened, I still have the slight feeling that London has already taken its toll on me. In a good way. But please let me explain.

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I’ve always had quite an interesting relationship with fashion – and yes, this means this post will be about fashion. A true miracle is happening right now. Anyway. I recently talked to my housemate about this. How in my youth I used to buy and wear any stuff that was popular at the time. Simply because I wanted to be popular, because which teen doesn’t want that? So I dressed like everyone else. And, to be brutally honest, we all looked pretty dumb, I’m not going to lie. I still get the shivers when I think about the shirts we all got from the same stores with their stupid cartoons on them or the black tube tops preferably worn with leggings. One fashion faux pas after another.

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But then the moment came when I truly realized, for the very first time, that we did, in fact, all look exactly the same and mostly very unfashionable on top. So I started to develop my own style, which was heavily inspired by all the holidays and vacations I went on with my family. I made it my hobby to only buy clothes in and from different countries. They became a type of souvenir. Something I would wear and always connect to a certain trip. And on top of that nearly everything I got was unique, as the chance of someone visiting the same store in the same foreign country and buying the exact same shirt or pair of trousers was incredibly low to non-existent. Suddenly I started looking like nobody else in my class, which was met by mixed reactions – some of my classmates liked it, some, I am sure, hated me for it. But that didn’t stop me from my travels to finding own style.

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And then uni and moving to Vienna hit me in the face with the statement “you thought you were dressing in a special way? Ha. Cute.” like a truck. I felt like I had just got a glimpse of the box of Pandora. Of paradise. Suddenly everyone looked special and different and cool and I felt like the ultimate wallflower again. The girl from the countryside in the big, uber-fashionable city. Surrounded by all these new impressions and more importantly inspirations, I again went for a little hunt for my own, new, improved style. Of course, I still kept true to my roots – band t-shirts, black skinny jeans, destroyed Converse – but something had changed. I didn’t shop as much anymore but rather looked for pieces of clothing that had the potential of being in-style for all of eternity and therefore staying with me for my whole life. Obviously, I’m not one of the rich kids that can actually afford clothes that will never show any signs of wear or destruction, but I was still trying my best. I started buying stuff that complimented my style, that I could easily add to already existing outfits and clothes that we like to call basics, which is probably one of the most important rules I ever learned when it comes to fashion. Basics are your friends. Keep them close to you. They will serve you well, trust me.

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So I went on my journey, developed my style, stumbled over pieces that I still adore with all my heart and that are still a part of my daily wardrobe, but I knew there was still something out there waiting for me. The big leap. I had to think outside of the box. And that’s when Brighton and more importantly London came in. It is a known fact that London is one of the best looking cities with some of the best-dressed people living in it. And I am in the middle of this huge pile of awesomeness, attractiveness and immenseness of style. And even before moving to this fashion dream of a place, I knew I had to leave my comfort zone once and for all. Or at least widen it. Because London is very out there. And I am not. Or was not. I feel like that has changed in the past week, at least in my own little style bubble.

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Here are a few things London and the experience of living here have taught me about fashion so far:

fast-fashion is your enemy, avoid it as much as you can

sustainability for the win

comfort and style do really go together (miracles, I tell you)

you don’t have to follow every trend – they go away anyway

pride and confidence are the best two accessories

you can be and look like anyone/anything you want

be out there, it’s fun

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I know, sounds quite cute and all, but it’s actually more difficult to tick all these boxes than you would think. Being out there is a real chore and takes a lot of confidence. And for an introvert like me – who’s slowly becoming an extrovert, funnily enough – fitting in is always a bit more comfortable than sticking out. But when you go to a music university in London, which basically translates to Hipster HQs, the rule is stand out or die (not literally, obviously). So I’ve been soaking up the city and all the other inspirations like a sponge and the result is the style that I am calling mine today. And I am damn proud of it.

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You know, for someone like me, who’s from a different country and who recently moved to London, it sometimes is a bit tough to not feel like you’re just a long-term tourist. Suddenly you start asking yourself whether people look at you and think you’re from the city or just someone stopping by. And a few weeks ago I would’ve said the second option, but I’ve had a slight change of mind. Let me tell you why – I went for a little shopping hunt, inspired by all the people and things I’m surrounded by in this incredible city on a daily basis and by all the fantastic outfits I see online, and I found two outfits that have turned my whole world on its head. And this isn’t simply about a shirt and a fitting jacket in the same color. No no. I’m talking about actual two-piece sets, consisting of the most amazing pants and the coolest jackets ever to go with them.

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To be honest, I’ve been on the lookout for a nice monochrome set for quite some time. I see it in the city all the time and I felt like it was time for me to be part of the movement. And after a long and exhausting journey that included lots of late-night scrolling through clothing websites and weekend trips to Carnaby Street, I finally found the perfect set on Asos by the brand Daisy Street (click here to check it out). Corduroy. Orange. Oversize. And comfy as hell. It had to be mine. And after a few days of waiting, it finally was. And still is. The moment I put it on, I knew I had stumbled across something very special. Something that would change my style completely. And it did. Because it opened my eyes to a whole other world of fashion that had been hiding in my closet. But it didn’t just end there.

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I would definitely say I reached peak coolness when I bought what I would describe as the ultimate two-piece a few days ago. The ultimate suit. The one and only. It all happened during a Lazy Oaf sample sale that I went to with my friend Lauren last Saturday. Some of you might already know this incredible London-based brand that creates anything but boring fashion. In a nutshell, it’s my favourite brand, but usually way too expensive for me. Hence the trip to the sample sale. And there I saw it. The perfect set that I immediately had to get (click here to check it out). In total, we spent over two hours in that industrial building, digging through endless piles of clothes, completely focused on our mission of finding the perfect piece. I’m not gonna say how much I paid for the whole thing (pants + jacket), but I can promise you one thing – if you ever want to find a bargain and feel a deep love for Lazy Oaf, then the sample sale is the way to go. The prices are out of this world. I mean, they don’t throw the clothes after you just to get rid of them, their quality is still way too high and good for that, but compared to the original prices, the whole event is one big bargain.

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The set I got is basically awesomeness in the form of clothing. Oversize. The most beautiful colours with the most fantastic check pattern. Wide leg trousers. The perfect fit. Extremely comfy. And literally the best quality. The moment I tried it on in that big hall, I knew it had to be mine. But besides the nice fit and the awesome look, there was something I felt while I was walking around with it still on, contemplating of whether I should get the whole set or not – it made me feel like I was part of London. Something that the first set had already achieved as well a few days beforehand. And that certain feeling is essentially the reason for me writing this post. Because both things make me feel like I belong in and to London. Like I am part of this city, part of its style, part of its people. It makes me feel like I am a Londoner. Like someone who people look at and might think that they live in this city and are part of it. And that is something so incredibly important for me, something that fills me with so much pride and confidence that I can’t possibly put into words how happy it makes me. I’ve always wanted to live in London and be part of this dream. But being here and feeling like you actually belong here are two different things. At least they were for me, but not anymore. And it might sound a bit strange to say that simple pieces of clothing make me feel that way, but I think they did more than just that. They make me a better, cooler, more confident me. And for that, I am incredibly thankful. Also, the Lazy Oaf set definitely makes me feel like the ultimate boss and that’s just the coolest thing ever. But just look for yourself.

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  .

So, in short: I’ve been in this incredible city for nearly three months now and I am finally starting to feel like I really, fully, truly belong here, which is simply the most incredible feeling ever. And it might be weird to have clothes be the reason for that, but for me, they are just so much more than that. I’m carrying myself differently and that’s all thanks to this fantastic adventure I’m on right now and to this city. London has changed me. And I’m happy about that.

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For those of you who’re currently looking for a bit of a changeup in your wardrobe, I can highly recommend going for a two-piece suit. It doesn’t just look absolutely stunning, but also has the perk of making you feel like a boss. And if you go for a simple one, you can easily add the separate pieces to other outfits and wear them with different clothes. That’s what I call highly functional. And yeah, besides that I can only hope that you enjoyed this post and that it maybe serves as a bit of inspiration for you. As always, I’d totally love to hear your thoughts and opinions, so please don’t hesitate to leave them down below. And, of course, I hope you’re all doing good, wish you a great week and thanks for reading. x

The London Style Hola everyone. And welcome to another week. And to December. It's freaking December. When did that happen?