#anyways i just saw it got a 37% so idk what i expected

[withteeth2005]

did anyone like spiral? i’m watching it rn and the first 5 minutes are already painful

[niche-pastiche]

The SPN gun meta post no one asked for

One fun tidbit from SPN is that everybody has symbolic guns except Cas. Who doesn't use guns. (Except for once, but we're getting to that.)

So, right. Starting in season 1, we see that Dean props the truck of Baby open with a shotgun. The contents are the messiest in the first season. 

(I’ve gone ahead and put the rest under the cut because this post gets kinda long. Seriously, I’m pretty sure guns are this show’s love language y’all.)

The gun he uses to prop open the trunk to be able to sort through his baggage is the sawed off Ithaca 37 shotgun that Sam eventually develops a preference for.

(Okay, so quick side note. After season 2 they got a different armorer and that's when the consistent purposeful gun symbolism starts to really take shape. Season 1, they're just kind of stumbling into it by sheer luck.) The Ithaca is Sam in the visual language of the show.

The two shotguns we see the boys welding the first few seasons are Sam's Ithaca, and the side by side sawed off. 

The side by side sawed off is something all of them use (until Dean gets his own unique shotgun) but it's something that the show uses to symbolize family, safety, home, and Bobby Singer.

Right so lets dig into this some more. We'll start with Bobby Singer.

The shotgun he is most closely associated with a sawed off double barrel shotgun. Which is interesting because that's usually a redneck-villain/cold baddass gun. It’s the gun you'd give to the scary redneck character. Or like... Generic Action Hero McStubble face. BUT that's just because it's sawed off. The sawed off part is what adds the hollywood action movie layers. And season 1 was very much only drawing from movie short hand. But later seasons build on it. 

Because regular shotguns are for stuff like hunting and home defense.

Providing and protecting.

And this gun comes to have that connotation too within the visual language of this show. It’s used by the boys a lot too. This is a little family-unit symbol of a gun. It's also The only gun we ever see Cas use in the show. It happens only once. And it's one Bobby gives to him.

EXT. BOBBY'S YARD BOBBY: What's your problem? CASTIEL: This is what they mean by "the 11th hour," right? BOBBY: Pretty much. CASTIEL: Well, it's the 11th hour, and I am useless. All I have is this. ( Castiel waves a shotgun What am I even supposed to do with it? BOBBY: Point it and shoot. CASTIEL: What I used to be -- BOBBY: Are you really gonna bitch --to me? Quit pining for the varsity years...And load the damn truck.

And later, Cas shoots this symbolic gun, rescuing Sam while fighting alongside Bobby. And Cas is like "Family. A father figure that cares. Interesting."

Okay, what Cas really said was "Actually, these things can be useful." but the symbolism is there.

It's important to remember that Kripke describes this show as a Midwestern. So it uses the visual language of westerns.

And it has gun culture running through its blood.

Guns are shown as noble here. There was one episode with a clear anti gun message in it, but it used a knife as a stand in for Jack playing with a gun and getting a friend shot. 

Knives carry all the symbolism that an anti-gun piece of media would give to guns in this show. Which is REALLY interesting because guns are given all the nobility a fantasy nerd would expect from swords.

And that is very much how folks like the Winchesters would think of their guns. Like swords, passed down from generation to generation.

Anyway. I got off track.

So Bobby's shotgun is a classic sawed off. But his signature sidearm is a Colt Single Action Army, which tells us a lot about Bobby.

That is THE Colt Peacemaker.

You have to pull back the hammer manually each time you want to fire it. (Which is why people in westerns do that funny thing with two hands to "fan the hammer" to fire in quick succession in like... a saloon shootout)

Bobby's old fashioned. He's classic. He's got an old fashioned gun which has... IDK how to explain this but it's a gun that has soul to it. (I'll come back to this)

it's unadorned but it's still got soul and character and you adjust the sights by filing down the hammer and like... It's everything Bobby Singer in gun form.

Since we're talking about revolvers, lets talk about “The Colt” for a second. (A Colt Paterson 1836.)

Actually, let's talk about the Winchester Family Tree first. It goes Henry Winchester>John Winchester> Dean (& Sam but Dean's the first born and thus inherits the guns and the car.)

John's got a BUNCH of war vet and/or POW symbolism, Vietnam specifically but also just in general. (and some of it's just plain text)

His symbolic gun is The Colt. (Though Dean's 1911 started out as his too in the same way Baby did. But that was season one before they really ironed this stuff out and it’s just in one flashback so feel free to ignore that if you want.)

The Colt is a war trophy of sorts, having been taken from a vampire nest. Which instantly catapults in to Significant Family Heirloom status. And it’s also the property of John’s deceased mentor, Danny Elkins. Which would honestly be enough to give it that status on it’s own.

And it's meant to kill Azazel and then John's ghost comes back from hell and helps Dean use it to kill Azazel.

It's also a colt single action.

I mention Henry Winchester because the granddaddy of modern repeating arms was the Henry repeating rifle which was later succeeded by the Winchester carbine.

"Nicknamed the "Yellow Boy" for the characteristic hue of the receiver, the Winchester Model 1866 was an improved version of the Henry 1860, "

Somebody in season 1 (before the armorer from season 2 onwards was the LEAD armorer) realized they forgot to give him a winchester and threw it in last second even though there's no space for it.

That's John's trunk.

Everybody's got guns with soul. Everybody. Even Sam’s Taurus PT92AFS, (which is basically just a little off brand Beretta) gets nickel plating and pearl grips. I like to think Dean did it as a gift. Because it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing Sam would do.

Anyway, The Colt. Significant Family Heirloom Gun. Obviously goes to either the spouse or if the spouse is dead, the first born son. Right? 

Guns are basically swords. Like Aragorn gets the sword of Isuldur, Dean should get the colt. If he were a young child, it'd go to his guardian to keep for him until he was old enough but Dean's old enough for guns.

But... It goes to Bobby instead. Who cares for it. And maintains it. Even though it's dead as far as the magic goes and "only good for seeing what made it tick" at this point.

This kind of thing is an important mourning ritual, y’all. And there’s no reason for Dean not to be the one doing it.

Here’s Bobby test firing it.

And here he is adjusting the sights.

And like... I legit have thousands of words written about the potential love story hidden in the subtext there. Single action’s aren’t a practical gun y’all. They’re sentimental and old fashioned. There’s love in this.

But I've gotten off track again.

The point here is that good guy’s guns have soul in this show.

But some guns don't.

In order to have a soul it needs artistry and craftsmanship. It needs to be at least a little old fashioned or decorative or just classy.

Gordon's guns are soulless.

Heckler and Koch. Mass produced and unfeeling.

Heckler and Koch. Modern. Cold. Not tied to any kind of American gun mythos.

Gordon is not about art. He's not about family. And neither are his guns. It's about killing. Brutal, ruthless, and wrong. There is nothing noble here.

I'll come back to this.

Okay so Sam has his nickel plated pearl grip offbrand Beretta. It's important to note that the Beretta is a pretty standard police side arm. So it gives Sam like... a noble sheriff vibe but modern. Jody Mills carries a Beretta. 

(I get that the idea of a sheriff who keeps the law in a lawless town is problematic but the show is using the language of westerns and thus I have to use it to explain what's going on. I'm not saying I like the trope.)

Anyway, this cheeper off brand cop gun has been given soul (despite not being the more expensive brand name option) by being customized to match Deans. It's had love put into it.

Both boys start out the series using the same shotgun as Bobby but eventually gravitate towards shotguns that become uniquely theirs.

Dean's is a beautiful sawed off Winchester Model 1887 which Jo hands him when she dies in the hardware store.  

From pretty much that moment on, that's Dean's shotgun.

And shotguns in this show are consistently for protecting family.

They use them to fight ghosts in haunted houses for goodness sakes. There's just a wealth of metaphor to it.

And they've also got their whole "rock salt" whatever going on so they're effectively the gentlest option too. (Please don’t try that at home. No clue what would happen but assume the worst.)

Sam's shotgun is the Ithica that Dean uses to prop open the trunk. To help him sort through all the baggage he’s carrying around in there.

The SEASON that convinced me I'd found something here and wasn’t just imagining things was Season 6.

Souless Sam uses almost exclusively Heckler and Koch.

Endverse!Dean used almost exclusively Heckler and Koch stuff too.

Pretty much everybody in the Croatoan future used heavily military, mass produced, black, large, high capacity, high rate of fire stuff you might expect evil gangster villains to use.

Soulless. All death and violence. Just like Sam in Season 6. And at no point while soulless does Sam use his nickle plated gun. Instead, he uses this monstrosity.

A Heckler & Koch Mark 23. And the camera lingers on it. We’re meant to notice something’s wrong.

When he's fighting himself in his head in "The Man Who Knew Too Much". Souless Sam is still using the soulless guns. And our sam is using his nickel plated gun. (And the Sam that contains his memories of being tortured in hell uses a knife.)

Souless/evil Sam uses a Heckler & Koch Mk 23 whilst pursuing "good" Sam in "The Man Who Knew Too Much" (S06E22).

Good Sam IMMEDIATELY switches back to using his Taurus PT92AFS with pearl grips after he gets his soul back and continues to use it while fighting his Evil/Soulless self in in The Man Who Knew to Much.

And guess what Sam uses to prop open the trunk in The Man Who Knew Too Much? An episode where Sam is literally woking through his trauma and baggage? His big brother Dean's Winchester Model 1887.

Just like Dean uses Sam's Ithaca.

And in the one episode where Ben has to fight? What does Dean hand his own kid to defend himself while they get Lisa to safety?

If you guessed his Winchester Model 1887, you guessed right.

There’s still so much else I didn’t cover, but I’m gonna end it here because it’s already way too long. Hopefully someone finds it interesting.

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (1)

》 News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right? 《

pairings: john kramer!taehyung x female reader

warnings: dark themes, angst, yandere, murder, torture, self harm, suicide, stalking etc.... (will add more when i know lol) although it is rather innocent in the first couple chapters(?) so idk it could be slow burn but i guess we’ll find out as i write it >< ,, it’s my version of saw if saw was a fucked up love story lol. Please don’t read if any of the topics mentioned trigger you!! 18+

this fic is exactly that, fiction!!!! the au does not represent the characters mentioned irl......

synopsis: you end up lost on the other side of town, where you cross paths with a handsome stranger, kim taehyung, only.... are you a stranger to him?

[a/n: daffodils represent; love me, sympathy, desire and affection returned...]

word count: 3k

series masterlist

part two

——————————————————————————

Hiding behind a mask was something you were accustomed to. Your friend group and family were clueless to the torment you endured from simply existing. You were confident your masking had convinced the world you were happy with yourself. Unbeknown to you, one other person saw straight through your façade.

You wanted to end your life.

He needed you to cherish your life.

Nothing looked familiar. The café you frequented was nowhere to be found. Your usual hangout was most definitely not on the side of town you found yourself in. You felt anxiety slowly curl its way around your body, you were frigid. You tried and tried but couldn’t find it in yourself to run.

You lived in the more friendly part of town (so to speak) – where houses were colourful, gardens pristine, warm-hearted neighbours who would treat you like family and white picket fences are what surrounded you. That was your norm, sure, you weren’t exactly loaded but you weren’t exactly poor either. It was a healthy balance in the middle. That’s not to say you hadn’t lived or seen this side of town before.

Your Mother and Father had grown up on this side of the fence. Two young people brought up in the rougher, more unfortunate areas. Your Mother was tough; she looked like a naïve, weak girl, albeit that was not the case. She was strong willed, used to life on the streets and doing anything she could to get money to make sure there was at least some food on the table. While your Mum was the leader, your Dad was more of a sheep. He was easily influenced and was dragged into the wrong crowd (had his fair share with drugs and street racing). That was their life for a few years till they crossed paths and your Mum helped your Dad get back on the right track.

They didn’t tell you much about their childhood and adolescence but they told you enough to make you appreciate what you have and to always work hard for it. To stick with the right people, be wise and conscious of your decisions. Be kind to those around you.

Your family owned a garage; your Dad was the head mechanic. This was the sole reason you were here. You knew it wouldn’t be simple when you agreed to go to this side of town to get a few bits for your Father’s shop. However, you didn’t expect it to be this difficult. How could you be so stupid? Why didn’t you just ask Hoseok and Yoongi to come with you like your father told you to? Or at least tell them where you were… yet you decided today of all days to be stubborn and venture on yourself, knowing full well how unsafe the area was. There were rundown businesses on either side of the road, beggars at every doorstep; drug dealings happening in broad daylight, no one even trying to hide it.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, you took it out and sighed a breath of relief once you’d read the texts.

14:37— From Papa: U ok munchkin ??? Did u get the stuff ?

14:39— From Papa: its ok if u didnt. Yoongs rang said hes got majority this morning lol so be safe n get home soon . Love u

14:40— To Papa: ohhh ok pops, i couldn’t find the shop anyway lol i’ll head back soon, love u too x

*LOW BATTERY*

“Fuck, trust me to forget to charge the bastard.” You rolled your eyes as you stuffed the phone back in your pocket.

Muffled shouting was heard around you. People ran across the street, bumping into you as they ran past. You gathered yourself and moved further down the path. “Great!” you exasperated, “honestly I’m so fucking stupid! Yoongi’s gonna kill me for this, I knew, I knew I should’ve told him I was coming over here but no,” your head was hung low as you dragged your feet across the pavement, “maybe I could tell Hobi, he wouldn’t be as angry right? I’m sure he’ll come,“ A sudden scream ripped you out of your chuntering. You whipped your head to the right, you could make out some figures bustling about in front of you, a group of men were quite clearly fighting… your anxiety struck you and you held your breath as you saw a man pull a knife from the waistband of his sweatpants. All thoughts and common sense seemed to leave all at once. Statue like, feet stuck to the ground. You watched on as the group rushed towards the brown haired man, you scanned his figure: tall, broad, confident… he exuded an intimidating aura even when you were this far away from him.

How could someone be so sure of themselves? It was one against five, surely the loner had no chance?

The glistening of the knife brought you back to your senses. Fucking hell. How do you always end up in these situations when you’re alone? Why me? Why? Good Lord, I need to run. Just as you were about to leave, the group who were arguing charged past you; one gripped his side as another supported his weight. Holy fuck, did he stab him? you stood frozen, yet again, your mind raced a mile a minute. Panic bubbled in your chest.

“You okay there Doll?” His voice was deep, velvet-like. It flowed so smoothly you doubted it was real, it was so soothing like it had wrapped itself around you, embracing your body. You heard his footsteps before he planted himself beside you. His shoulder reached the top of your head, his hand brushed yours. Swallowing your nerves you dared a glance up. He was fucking breath-taking, like a fallen angel. The stranger shot you a small smile that you would’ve easily missed had you not been staring at his features… a blush crept up your neck as you nodded. His smile slowly twisted into a smirk.

Cute, Taehyung thought to himself. Couldn’t help but adore the way you slightly trembled under his gaze, the way your hands gripped and twisted your sweater paws. Almost like a puppy. He cleared his throat and reached his hand to yours, “Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself. I’m Taehyung.” you took his hand into yours, apprehensively you greeted him, “I’m Y/N.”

“Ah, Y/N. I haven’t seen you round here before, you new or something?” Taehyung cocked his head to the side, his eyes seemed to stare right through you.

“Uhm, I don’t live here. I live over the other part of Town… I was just grabbing some stuff for my Dad but, my phones about to die. I have no idea where I am or how to get home, I’m sorry, I promise I didn’t see anything!” a deep chuckle cut you off, Taehyung smiled and beckoned you to follow him.

“Come on Y/N, you’re not suited for this side of Town, I’ll walk you back. A pretty little thing like you, you’re easy prey to these guys.” your feet fell into a cautious pace behind him, he glanced over his shoulder, “hurry up Buttercup, I don’t bite.” Taehyung flashed a boxy grin in your direction, which caused you to speed up ever so slightly.

You were unsure how you felt about letting a complete stranger walk you home, Yoongi would definitely kill you for this. Especially with the recent news of some serial killer named ‘Jigsaw’, Yoongi and Hoseok had been very stern and their usual, overprotective selves when the news had broken out. “It’s on every headline Y/Nie! No more leaving the house on yourself, you need to go anywhere you ring either of us. Got it? Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know either. There’s some dodgy fucks about recently.” Although, you loved them dearly, sometimes their protectiveness was a...little overbearing. You already felt suffocated from your parents (you didn’t need it from your best friends as well). They were happy and believed you to be too; but that was exhausting, faking happiness. You had a constant façade, acted like a happy normal teenager with a happy family; when that was far from the truth.

Drowning. That’s how you’d explain the way you felt. Breathing was difficult and brought you more pain than it was worth. Growing up was tedious, you had grown differently to your peers which only brought ridicule and embarrassment for you. You had struggled with your speech (sometimes you still do), you often stuttered, mispronounced words, the list was endless. That was one of the first reasons you were a castaway. As you grew, the ridicule worsened. Verbal abuse turned physical from your classmates. They made you feel like you were a waste of space. The names they called you, you soon started to believe them. Ugly. Weird. Freak. Stupid. They took root in your brain, slowly they grew and grew till your head was overgrown with twisted, rotten weeds.

Eventually, you sought comfort in blood. You didn’t care that it hurt you; you were almost happy to feel pain. Like you deserved to.

By age 14, you had started to skip school. Only ever there for exams and a couple of art classes you had with Jeongguk. He was what you would’ve called a best friend, he supported you and was by your side till you left school. He went away to college and like always with school friends, you drifted apart. Nevertheless, he still texts you now and then to check in.

Although you were (once) close with Jeongguk. He never knew of your inner demons, the same with Yoongi and Hoseok. You didn’t want to feel like a burden and worry your friends when they had shit to worry about themselves.

Why devastate flowers that flourish beautifully with weeds that manage to twist their way around every crack?

You had walked for a few minutes now, having chatted absentmindedly about anything and everything. The roads still didn’t look familiar to you and you just wished they did, you didn’t want to be away from your home any longer, your feet were starting to ache, your phone was on 10% battery and it was fucking cold. You just wanted to be back in bed tucked up watching Lady and the Tramp or 101 Dalmatians for the millionth time. You felt safe and content when you indulged in your comfort films. Far away from the real world and wrapped up in the false reality. They easily distracted you and that's when you truly felt at peace. Your mind was always too busy thinking about how cute it was when Tramp calls Lady, Pidge or how in love Pongo and Perdy were.

Majority of the time you fantasised about having a love similar, but then again, why would you wanna make yourself vulnerable like that? Is the risk of being hurt (more than you are now) any good? Of course it’s not. Fuck that, life isn’t nothing like those shitty romance films or novels… It’s real and painful.

As you and Taehyung rounded the corner, a little cafe caught your eye, a dainty blue and pink building. Fairy Lights strung up around the windows, you could see a handful of people inside, busy sipping their drinks and chatting away to one another. ‘Aroma Mocha’ hung above the doors. It looked so cute and simple. Your previous thoughts left your mind as quick as they had come. You wanted to go inside, it had an enticing atmosphere.

Taehyung hadn’t realised you’d stopped walking until he couldn’t hear the soft thud of your footsteps behind him, he turned as he called out to you, your eyes still fixed on the cafe. He chuckled to himself, “Fucking adorable, like a kid at christmas,” he walked back over to you. “Hey Doll, you wanna go in?” He felt his heart quicken when you looked at him with those pretty eyes, “We’ve plenty of time to get you back before it’s dark angel.” You answered him with a nod as you turned your head from Taehyung to look back at the alluring little cafe.

Not a second had passed before Taehyung grabbed your hand and pulled you across the road to the entrance; you ignored the warmth of his hand as it intertwined with yours; you ignored the way your tummy erupted with butterflies. Taehyung had stopped to hold the door for you, you murmured a small, “thank you,” looking up at him, the heat that crept up your cheeks making your face resemble that of a doll’s he thought to himself. Once he ushered you fully inside, he placed his hand to rest on the curve of your waist as he guided you to the back corner of the room, where a quaint table for two was unoccupied, a little pot of Daffodils sat atop. How fitting...

Taehyung was quick to pull the chair out for you to take a seat, you pulled it in as you sat down and sent a shy smile his way, “I’m sorry, I know we just met Taehyung but this place is so fucking precious! I hope I’m not bothering you, if I am we can just carry on walking or, I could ring a Taxi? Is this weird? Oh god, I can’t believe--”, Taehyung threw his head back as he laughed, a sound that seemed to wrap its way around your soul, twisting around your heart in the nicest of ways, it was almost like a killer to the weeds taking over your body. A temporary release. You felt like you could really breathe in those short seconds of his laughter.

“Angel, if you were bothering me, I’d have kept on walking. That, or I would’ve called you a Taxi myself, it’s no problem honestly.” You ducked your head as he sent a wink your way, fuck sake Y/N get it together! Why are you acting like a fucking schoolgirl?

“Well I uh, appreciate it so, yeah thank you?” You don’t know what to do, you’re here with the most gorgeous person you’ve ever laid your eyes on… yet you have no clue if what you saw was real, did Taehyung stab someone? Could someone have had the knife who wasn’t Taehyung? Was he even the person you saw in that altercation? Did you imagine everything that had gone off?

Before you had chance to overthink it, a light bubbly voice greeted your ears, “Hi! Welcome to Aroma Mocha, I’m Jimin and I’ll be your server today. Is there anything I can get you?” Jimin held his gaze on you as he flashed you a friendly smile, Taehyung turned around at the sound of his best friend, “Oh, Tae! I wasn’t expecting to see you today, what are you doing here? And who’s this pretty little lady?”

“This is Y/Nie, she was in the neighbourhood so we thought we’d nip in for something to drink before I take her back to hers.” you sent a warm smile to Jimin which he gladly returned, “I’ll have my usual and can you get Y/Nie a Strawberry Iced Tea? Thanks man.”

Once Jimin had disappeared to make your drinks, you shot your eyes to Taehyung, “Uhm, how’d you know I like Strawberry Iced Tea?” Taehyung didn’t even look in your direction as he scrolled through his phone, eyes glued to the screen. A minute passed by and he’d still not acknowledged your question so you let it slide, it wasn’t that big of a deal right? Your mind drifted. Your fingers rested atop of your lap, hidden from the sight of onlookers, picking around your nails as anxiety flooded your body. You felt like you were about to suffocate. You shouldn’t be talking to anyone, you shouldn’t let anyone close. You were only going to fuck everything up in a heartbeat. It’s only natural. Self deprecating thoughts devoured and made their way through your veins, poisoning yourself further; your whole body felt as though it was alight.

Jimin brought you your drinks, placed them carefully in front of the pair of you as you both said your thanks.

The click of Taehyung’s phone being locked and the clearing of his throat brought you back to your senses. “The drink I ordered for you is popular here so, I assumed you’d like to try it. You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” your eyes shot up to meet his, your head tilted a little to the left as your tongue wet your lip, so puppy like...

You stared incredulously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Taehyung.” You leant forward slightly as you wrapped your lips around the straw and took a sip.

Taehyung saw the way you sucked your drink up through your straw, his eyes darkened. Thankful to have worn sweatpants that day, he shifted himself discreetly, “I’m not stupid Angel, I know what you’re doing under the table. I’m here, so talk to me. I’ll listen to whatever you gotta say.”

You stuttered as you wracked your brain for something to say, “I-I only met you like forty minutes ago, I don’t even tell my friends what’s wrong. Not that there is, everything’s fine.”

You met me just short of an hour ago, he thought to himself, “You don’t have to lie to me Y/Nie…” he grabbed your hands that were laid near the cup of your Iced Tea. His thumb rubbing circles onto the back of your hand. You looked small and fragile, like the Daffodils on the table; one little pluck and you’d be ruined. He wouldn’t admit it to you just yet but, Taehyung fucking loved how delicate you seemed as you sat across from him.

How easy it would be to take your life away. How easy it’d be to pull those weeds up that are poisoning you, torturing you every single day. He shook his head, as he cleared those thoughts. No, only Y/N can make that decision. I’m just going to help her choose.

Live or Die.

You visibly winced, “You don’t know me. Think whatever the fuck you want about me, it doesn’t matter.” your eyes flashed hurt as you went back to picking your skin. You knew it, this whole encounter was too good to be true. A complete stranger (well acquaintance technically) had just presumed shit about you, the fact he was right is what hurt more. You didn’t want anyone to know how you were feeling. Or how you were dealing with it.

You couldn’t exactly tell him to piss off, you still needed his help home and so you tried to distract yourself from the unsettling gaze that watched your every move. You let out a breath as Taehyung went back to his phone. Your eyes drifted as you picked up the local Newspaper, your eyes skimmed over the headline, ‘Jigsaw Traps Continue’. Taehyung noticed you staring at the front page, and chuckled, “you scared of Jigsaw Angel?”

You shook your head, why would you be scared of some nutjob who’s targeted criminals and drug dealers? You’re a nobody. “Of some psychopathic puppet?” if anyone did anything to you that would threaten your life, it would be you. Taehyung just laughed in return as you skipped the article and skim-read the other pointless stories.

You were fucking clueless as to who he was while he knew every little thing about you. He had watched you for months… His precious little Y/Nie… Oh how silly you were, taking your life for granted.

You hated yourself that much, you were willingly marking yourself up. Tainting your skin… oh your skin, how fucking beautiful and soft it looked, even with all the scars it still looked perfect… Taehyung wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and lock you inside with him. Forever. He didn’t want anyone touching what was his.

He knew you wore a mask when in public, too afraid to show your real self. Little did you know, he wore a mask himself...only he wore it to better other people.

He had a plan.

And you’d soon find out.

Let the games begin.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

why would MC ever believe that deep down Rakepick isn’t as evil as she’s “claiming” to be after all she’s done and put them through? i know that choice is optional but i still don’t get how MC could think that. she tortured Merula and killed their first ever friend at Hogwarts without any sign of remorse. all she ever says about that night is that she was aiming for Ben as if that makes it better somehow. plus Rowan isn’t even the only person she’s killed, i mean wtf. Rakepick’s beyond saving, she says it herself. that’s the only thing she’s ever said that i wholeheartedly agree with. at least she’s self aware i guess. idk what happens to her at the end of ch 37 but i hope we never see her again. definitely won’t be missing her.

Oh anon, I hope we do see her again. Because this chapter opened some doorways and I want to see what lies beyond.

For the first time in...I don't even know how long, possibly ever, the game has given some concrete hints to Rakepick's backstory. I don't think they even come up unless you trapped Rakepick in the Vault, because normally she's a lot better at keeping any of her weaknesses concealed. But post-Sunken Vault, she's no longer able to hide anything, she virtually lives in her own head. Almost reminds me of the state Mr. Crouch was in when Harry came across him in the Forbidden Forest. Or, to put it another way, The Madness of Madam Rakepick. That has a nice ring to it, huh? Anyway, the point here is, we finally, finally, f i n a l l y got some hint of depth to Rakepick once again. Genuine depth. Forget about redemption, that's not what I'm arguing for, but a potentially sympathetic villain is a thousand times more interesting and real than a villain who's just cartoonishly bad with nothing else going for them. And that's what Rakepick has been ever since the Buried Vault. Until now. (Potentially.)

She said that she relived the deaths of not only everyone she's ever killed, but the deaths of her family and friends. Which does subscribe to the pattern we saw with MC's vision in the Sunken Vault, and it would make sense if we assume that this is the same Curse that was applied to the Drink of Despair that guarded the Locket Horcrux. But hold up a minute, back the hell up. Rakepick has friends? She's got family? I feel like that reveal got glossed over a bit, but that matters so damn much! Especially since they're apparently ALL dead. She doesn't say that she lost them, she says that they died. Not one of them just left her because of her actions? They all died? For goodness' sake, she's in her thirties. So what the hell happened? Could have been the Death Eaters, which might make a degree of sense if R is presenting them-selves as a rival faction to Voldemort. They're vague and secretive enough that they could probably sell that idea to recruit people who lost loved ones to the Death Eaters.

Or...what if it's even worse. Rakepick said that R has a way of getting people to do their bidding. And my goodness, the way she kept repeating that failure is punished (Merula is a dead woman walking if she stays with them) was just plain chilling. Not to mention that they already have a proven history of killing the friends and loved ones of people they aim to recruit. What if. What if R went after everyone Rakepick ever loved. We know that at some point prior to Year 4, she was in opposition to them. And if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times - a lawless and arrogant jackass like Rakepick doesn't just do a 180 and bend the knee before the wizarding equivalent of Big Brother - not willingly. Suppose R targeted Rakepick's family and friends, and took them out one by one in order to break her. Listen, I know that nobody wants Rakedemption and I'm not even saying that I do. But at this point, R has abandoned her and Rakepick is expecting them to come after her to tie up loose ends. We cannot trust her, plain and simple. But we do have a common enemy now. And Rakepick knows a lot about Curse-Breaking, she may have inside information as well. And I'll go ahead and say it, yes, she is one of my favorite characters. So I don't really mind if this is how they're going to get her back into the game's story.

But more than anything, I don't want Y7CH37 to be the last we ever see of her. If this is all we get, I would just as soon have had her not show up at all after Y6CH42. Because after all this time, the writing is finally hinting at more to her than just being cocky and murderous. This can't be it, because this felt like it was setting up for a later appearance and future reveals. There's still so much about this character that we don't know, and I don't want them to just, like...remind us that she exists, tease the idea of actually fleshing her out, and then put her on a shelf for the rest of the game. That would legitimately be maddening. So much was hinted in this chapter...hey, here's something else I just remembered. For the second time now, Rakepick has brought up that Rowan was an accident, that she was aiming for Ben. She mentioned it in the Sunken Vault, and she brings it up here - in both versions of the scene. As if that makes a difference at all? Clearly, that doesn't make it any better, nor do I think Rakepick cares about casting herself in a better light. So why does she linger on that memory? Were...were her orders to kill Ben specifically? Is that one way that she "failed" R? If so...why? Why Ben? What does he know? We never did find out what happened during his missing time, and the idea that he might be lying about not remembering was thrown out there. Was R trying to silence him?

[macaronis-telegraph]

Happy to report I had a great time. It was brilliant. Some incoherent thoughts below…

This UK tour has a doubled up version of the cast, but it does NOT seem to be the ensemble version that is currently licensable (original version is 37 lead/supporting + additional ensemble — the ensemble cast version incorporates doubling to being the cast down to 20 people—looking at the cast breakdown on concord theatricals’ site, it doesn’t match up, which is interesting).

So I do wonder with this what changes are specific to this particular production vs what was made for that ensemble version and also other changes to the show itself over time.

But like having Ismay instead of Andrews sing “In Every Age” and changes like that. And cutting the little poker scene before Autumn, and they cut the entire second half of “Wake up, wake up.” Idk if these changes are something that is reflected in the currently liscence-able versions of the show if they are specific to the UK tour.

I won’t go into everything that I liked/disliked about those changes/cuts/additions as I’d be here forever

But I will say….!

I loved what they did with Alice and Edgar! In past productions I’ve seen Alice has always been rather… grating. The two of them have so much charm in this version and ahhh having them dance during Autumn 🥺

And they acknowledged Phillips! (For those not familiar with the musical, they essentially just combined the the two into the Bride’s character for the show) but they had him there, perhaps little more than a shadow, but I appreciated it, and he got his little nod at the end.

One big complaint though is how they handled Murdoch. This version went along with… a prominent myth regarding him, and they portrayed it very heavy handedly. I don’t think they should’ve included it at all.

This version also leaned more strongly into mythologized characterizations, particularly of Captain Smith, Ismay, and again, Murdoch. Things that the original escaped due to a certain movie not yet taking over the popular perception of the tragedy… this recent filmed tour leaning into, correctly or not, preconceived expectations as to how these figures will be portrayed.

Lesser complaint, with the doubling (and the nature of it being a tour too makes this an easier choice) they didn’t have any children in the cast. In the full cast version, there’s usually either one or two, as the bell boy and Jack Thayer. Here they had the bell boy doubled with Hartley, and Jack was a prop baby. Which made “To the Lifeboats” very weird as the lyrics did not fit for the Thayers to be singing to an infant (not to mention Jack was 17 in reality anyways…).

Also really appreciated how they wove the dinner scenes into “A Remarkable Age.” I recall when I saw it a few years back the song was sang through, and then they went through each dinner and wow it dragged, so this was an excellent improvement.

I’ve got the script somewhere I really need to compare properly

I was also so curious how they would do the tilting of the deck that was so iconic to the Broadway version! Considering it was a touring version so the set had to reflect that… and I was not disappointed!

And I mentioned it briefly with Phillips but I also very much liked how they moved the dialogue that usually goes over “the foundering” and instead gave more time to those aboard, and got to that dialogue later.

Heck yeah Titanic musical day

[arthurtristankingsmen]

More and longer theory chatter with @flash-the-geist with guest stars who popped in. This one is longer since it’s theorizing but turned into something Flash affectionately named the ‘Esprestissimo AU’ which I am keeping because I love it so much.

Most of this mainly features Duet thoughts and then shenanigans ! The most I did was add a missing thing in my own comments for clarification or that my brain skipped over when typing it before, or where I adjust the order of the messages for cohesiveness

please enjoy jdjd

flaaaash — Today at 4:35 AM

hmmm what if the note-taker is Duet, taking notes about "Solo"? that implies they're two different people

Arthur — Today at 4:36 AM

that's what i was thinking-- that the ‘He’ in the note is reverb, and this note is in reference to reverb, but also a comment on Solo, and the Duet 'wrote' this character profile as like-- a case file if they're in charge of the organization

so duet is like 'solo' claims she still needs to study him for research in a note on the file he's taking on reverb or something like that

flaaaash — Today at 4:37 AM

this might be my deep, unfortunate familiarity with bureaucracy talking, but- if the person in charge is also the one taking notes, it's a very small organization

Arthur — Today at 4:37 AM

oh yeah

i imagined it was tiny personally

tempo seems on the smaller side so if it's all based there, i was imagining it was relatively small

flaaaash — Today at 4:38 AM

not international then, perhaps

adkjfakjf oooh now I want to make a little card for Flash

Arthur — Today at 4:39 AM

yeah no-- at least since the name tempo of the town following the motif like seemingly implies it's based in/related to the town since if follows the reference style

or that's my thinking anyways?

flaaaash — Today at 4:39 AM

very true

imagine if Tempo is just Like That and the rest of the world is totally normal

Arthur — Today at 4:40 AM

i personally think vivi didn't grow up in tempo now more tho-- because i think if she did and there is an organization, they woulda gotten wind of her and she probably would've been recruited since she's smart and clearly into that kind of thing

and if she was in the org and knew what she was doing, i don't know if she would've gone to the cave if she was at all in the Know 

flaaaash — Today at 4:40 AM

or they would have tried to study Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:41 AM

that too!!

even if they brought her in just because of mystery i imagine they would've brought her in

flaaaash — Today at 4:41 AM

maybe that's what the "her research into "REDACTED" is referring to. Research into mystery?

it all does seem to come back to him

Arthur — Today at 4:42 AM

or maybe she's relatively new to tempo still, and duet gave her a job because they intended to bring her in at some point but hadn't yet

like there were steps to take and like-- the cave happened before things could get fully underway

i mean at my job i applied in like-- march, and i didn't get an interview until may, and then i didn't get any training until november, and then i didn't get brought in to learn the job until december. so it'd be easy to imagine that if there was a reason, bringing her in could be a slow process 

flaaaash — Today at 4:43 AM

that might also explain why there were all these "go back" signs in the cave

clearly someone with English language skills put the signage there

Arthur — Today at 4:43 AM

that too! it definitely felt like it was to warn off people and keep them from tresspassing

but the gang were kids and also ghost don't haunt the places that aren't super scary and dangerous! so of course they gotta go in!

flaaaash — Today at 4:45 AM

maybe they weren't expecting someone like Vivi at all

she was a wild card that popped up and threw a spanner in the works accidentally

Arthur — Today at 4:45 AM

yeah!

i can imagine her just coming in and completely bamboozling everyone

duet is like 'okay we'll get her in on this but we'll take some time to sort everything and judge where she's at skill wise since we have time and it's not like she can get into any danger with all our protective me--oh no'

flaaaash — Today at 4:48 AM

that calls Duet's motivation into question a lil bc - there's at least a significant amount of time between Lewis dying and them finding him again

since their search is reasonably extensive and Arthur's had time to heal up. So why didn't Duet do anything during this time?

Arthur — Today at 4:50 AM

hmmmm--- well we know it's been less than a year since the cave happened at least, and i think the way Ben talked about it  sounded like it was a relatively short time table of only a few months, so maybe they wanted to give them recovery time or they weren't sure how to broach it-- i'm not sure. maybe the comic will give some kind of insight hopefully if the case is that vivi came in like that

i feel like it'd be interesting and make more sense given what she has available magic wise and mystery-wise if she wasn't in town until much later in life to explain why she wouldn’t already be working with the organization. but i'm still like hmm

because you do have a point that there would be a fair bit of inaction, unless for some reason vivi's memory issues or something was a problem or something happens in the prequel to explain or hint

tho now that brings into question if duet knows Lewis is dead, how are things not being managed better

i mean i've had arthur say in the past and i've said once or twice that like-- i think arthur was already working with prosthetics. so he could've had an arm mostly built and just had to make a more functioning one so that could've been fast. so hopefully maybe the prequel comic is set a bit before and might explain duet helping or something in a way that could make sense of it?

especially given he did make galaham's wheels already and such. he might've already built one but needed to make a new one set up for him

flaaaash — Today at 4:54 AM

I'm fairly sure people would at least know he's missing

I guess it's possible that the 'memory magic' thing that makes Vivi forget - it could affect everyone except Arthur and Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:56 AM

that's possible--

we have only seen mystery and arthur in the world seeming to know what's going on, so we don't know who knows what. just that vivi doesn't know lewis

but maybe nobody else does either to some degree

flaaaash — Today at 4:56 AM

Arthur being possessed at the time, and Mystery being a magical being himself. We don't have any evidence that anyone else remembers Lewis, although he seems to still be in pictures

Arthur — Today at 4:57 AM

people did seem confused arthur was freaking out in the store in the comic and like

idk. if i knew he lost his best friend i'd be more sympathetic/not look at him like he was crazy. I’d assume something set him off but probably feel bad for him if i knew what happened in the last year?

because i would imagine mental health is in the toilet after going on a trip and losing a friend even if he was only 'missing'

and the way arthur mentioned lewis and when vivi forgets he's just like 'nevermind'. if no one really remembers Lewis, then maybe giving up trying to explain is because he’s used to no one knowing who he means

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

yea h

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

what if arthur only remembers lewis? (and mystery does)

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 4:58 AM

In fairness most people would be confused if they saw someone having a panic attack in public, no matter how much was known about the person

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

also if Lewis looked like himself for a moment just before dropping Arthur - does that mean Lance saw him?

or did he only see skele-version and thus didn't recognize him as Lewis

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

hmmmmm--- i lean to skele vision. he turned back pretty quick iirc

flaaaash — Today at 4:59 AM

I'm torn between analysing between a storyteller perspective and an in-world perspective

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

por que no los dos?

also

hmmm-- i think given people were like 'what's up with that guy', it seemed either not knowing what was going on with him or what it could stem from, but if lewis disappeared in a small town i feel like a lot of the details would've spread. so they might assume it had to do with that instead-- so it feels like maybe most people don't know

which seems strange in a smaller community because stuff gets around

flaaaash — Today at 5:01 AM

especially since the Peppers own a restaurant

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

yeah-- in a small town place a restuarant is usually a social hub of sorts

so if lewis disppeared i'm sure people would talk given he was a waiter and thus kind of a face for the restaurant

flaaaash — Today at 5:02 AM

also if they think he's missing and not dead, his family would be looking for him too. which means missing persons pics and all that

Arthur — Today at 5:02 AM

yeah and we didn’t see any. and some people not knowing or visitors i could get, but everyone seemed surprised by arthur freaking out, and if they knew lewis was missing and lewis and arthur were friends, it feels odd to like-- none of them to even look sympathetic

i would imagine if they knew lewis was gone they'd assume arthur would be more emotionally reactive than usual-- unless they have no idea that something is going on with arthur because you know-- lewis is erased jdjd

i mean the reason we know vivi doesn't remember is because her eyes glowed as lewis got phased out of the photo

but who knows maybe him being phased out was in general and that just meant she was affected too. everyone gets amnesia

flaaaash — Today at 5:03 AM

also slightly cracky theory but - if they ended up accidentally in the research facility during Ghost, that would explain why Vivi found a fully-stocked fridge alkja;gl

Arthur — Today at 5:04 AM

DSJDDLJSDLFJDSJL

that would be hilarious

lewis is his own scp in his tantrum mansion

they just keep an eye on the lot

flaaaash — Today at 5:05 AM

well what else are they gonna do with him??? xD

Arthur — Today at 5:05 AM

dslsdjdsfljdsfd

''welp no one knows who this guy is soooooo manor in the middle of nowhere time'

flaaaash — Today at 5:06 AM

"so the waiter turned into a vengeful spirit?" "oh uhhhh ok put him in a box i guess until we figure something out?"

ok theory- Duet knows Lewis is dead, but is trying to figure out a way to help/break the memory magic on Vivi, and that's why he's in the mansion/cave for a while before Ghost?

Arthur — Today at 5:06 AM

i like it! i think them knowing and approaching arthur in the comic and using 'rancid vibes' as an excuse would make sense

flaaaash — Today at 5:07 AM

"so that Vivi person wandered in again somehow and now the vengeful waiter ghost is loose?" "for fuck's sake you had ONE JOB-"

Arthur — Today at 5:07 AM

they know what's actually going on but they kinda act like everyone else while also getting arthur something that might help him in that book that i think will be important in the plot of the prequel

DL;G;HDGSAL;HKGSDHL;DGS

flash you have the biggest brain

 flaaaash — Today at 5:08 AM

,kadjgalgkj

"also there was this killer tree-" "I do not care about the tree, one problem at a time"

Poor Duet is having A Week

but the mental image of them trying to avoid Arthur and Vivi investigating, while trying to find ??? and re-capture him while shoving Lewis in a box is hilarious, and then they run into Shiromori and just throw their hands in the air like "can u not????". And then Murder Mystery shows up and they just quit

Arthur — Today at 5:10 AM

dlaajldkljjdl;dldjlfkfd

duet is just like

on their tenth cup of coffee

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:10 AM

Arthur: Those are rookie numbers

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

they see murder mystery and go back inside the shop like 'can you add like 5 espresso shots to this'

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

explains why they're like "Arthur pls your vibes. Do you KNOW what I've been dealing with"

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

asdl;;dfslhsdahg;as;dghkghsdllhsgd

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

"five extra shots and a red bull chaser please-"

Arthur — Today at 5:12 AM

(also just still crosses my fingers for medium/spiritually-sensitive!arthur to be canon but if not it will live on in my fannon)

dsldjllssfdf

they just start shoving coffee grounds directly into their mouth

flaaaash — Today at 5:12 AM

this series has a lot of antagonists

akjdalgj just crunching beans down whole

Arthur — Today at 5:13 AM

i need-- to draw duet

looking tired with a coffee

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

Duet with a giant cup of coffee, staring at Murder Mystery with a deadpan stare and going "Absolutely not, I forbid it, there is not enough coffee in the WORLD."

Arthur — Today at 5:14 AM

flash and will if i share this chatter on tumblr would you be okay with it ? or would u rather i block out names if i do

i feel like some of this is hilarious and people need to experience it

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

akdflaf no go for it

I will out myself as a sham of a storyboarder

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

duet is that gif of the ghost busters lady going 'mmm nope not today, room full of nightmares'

and turning and walking away

duet is doing their best and needs a nap

tired as Arthur

flaaaash — Today at 5:15 AM

Duet walking around the corner to see the gang facing down Murder Mystery: swivels on one foot and goes right back the way they came

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

ldjldljd EXACTLY

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:16 AM

Heheheheh

Arthur — Today at 5:16 AM

like look at this person

look at their eyebags

they are Tired

they have deal with this bullshittery

they have sass to provide

but they also are Tired and done with this shit

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

I want Duet and Arthur playing a game of caffeine chicken

Marshy — Today at 5:16 AM

Huge massive sigh as they see the whole bullshit situation go down and turns around to go back to the bookshop

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

just lined up at the cafe bar, espresso shots in rows down the counter as they lock eyes-

who shall win- the CAFFEINE-OFF?

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

flash

pls if you right that i will pay you money

or maybe art

Marshy — Today at 5:17 AM

It's me I'll win

flaaaash — Today at 5:17 AM

SLFKJLKGS

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

dlasd;sdgkd;djslj;dags

i'm rooting for you take those nerds OUT

flaaaash — Today at 5:18 AM

"Duet gives him a look of Supreme Weariness and Nopery. Arthur counters with a double eye-roll of Resignation and Angst. In the true synchronicity of the Absolutely Done, they each take an espresso shot and slam it down."

Arthur — Today at 5:20 AM

djdasd;ds;lsda;ldj;lkdsl;jkdsj;lkasljkdjlkdg

they clink the little cups together first before taking their respective shots

flaaaash — Today at 5:21 AM

they do the thing where they turn it upside down to prove it's empty

by the fifth they're trying to outcompete each other with anecdotes

by the tenth they've moved onto toasting each other

Arthur — Today at 5:21 AM

Bonding!

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:22 AM

The anecdotes get concerningly similar to each others

flaaaash — Today at 5:22 AM

by the twelfth, Arthur begins weeping. Duet pats him in solidarity and knocks the next shot clean off the counter due to caffeine-induced twitching

Arthur — Today at 5:22 AM

DSGLAHGLDGHDGHAAHDSGDG

EXCELLENT

i

want them to be friends now

flaaaash — Today at 5:23 AM

by the thirteenth, the barista stages an intervention and starts giving them decaf

by this point, they don't notice 

Arthur — Today at 5:23 AM

asdlaadjsdsajd

thank you they owe you their life

they could taste the difference if they weren't vibrating into the 28the dimension atm

flaaaash — Today at 5:24 AM

after the fifteenth shot, the counter is clear and they're both full of sympathetic outrage for the other's plight. They sprint from the cafe, steamroll right over Shiromori, and punt the colours right out of Murder Mystery in a fit of industrial-strength caffeinated indignance.

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:24 AM

Hahahaha

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

h;lsadlf;dsldj;fsljl;dfsajdfsa

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

The newly Monochromatic Mystery has to then help Vivi contain the pair before they wipe all paranormal activity off the face of Tempo.

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

that's how the fifth video ends

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

Lewis narrowly escapes by hiding in a box. THE END

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

dsal;gsdhldgsa;dgsdgs;hldgs;lhdsa

beautiful thank u flash

i owe you my life

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

you're welcome it's my magnum opus

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

A+ story telling

i'm including it in the post

flaaaash — Today at 5:26 AM

ALKJGAGK

it's okay I don't have a reputation to ruin xD

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

dlasdl;dhsgldgdgs

this is a callout for flash being the funniest person alive--

or undead

flaaaash — Today at 5:27 AM

dead-

sfkjga

l

Arthur — Today at 5:27 AM

djdjdjdj

i thought about it and corrected myself xDD

flaaaash — Today at 5:30 AM

ok I have no idea if anyone will get this pun, but I dub this the Esprestissimo AU

Arthur — Today at 5:36 AM

djalsd;ldsjdsjldf

i LOVE THAT

music puns but espressos EXTRA ESPRESSOLY

flaaaash — Today at 5:49 AM

xD

[urmomsstuntdouble]

brother of mine

aka an itabros character study (?) there are characters and they’ve been studied, idk what else to tell you. this has been in my head for a long while, though i got a lil experimental with how i wrote it. anyway, this is a bit important to me and i know there’s like a lot of really good takes about their relationship already out ther, but here’s mine! i hope you enjoy it!

(pov romano, written in present tense 2nd person, in case that’s a turn off for you. all of the emotional baggage you’d expect.)

6:09- Wake up, still tired. Nothing you can do about that, but you stay in bed a little longer, listening. Is your brother awake yet? Do you want him to be? It’s already noisy outside. 

6:13- Get out of bed after spending four minutes staring at that photograph of your fiance and you that’s taped to the wall. You wonder if you should frame it, but he hasn’t gotten you a ring yet, so you don’t know if he’s serious, or he’s also in love with you. And if you were to frame it, you’d have to take the tape off, and that would render your likeness without a face. Would that be so bad? And you don’t want to think about that, so you push the blanket off. Because you sleep naked, you get cold fast without the blanket. At first, you try to sink deeper into the bed, but that dosn’t work. There’s no goosebumps on your back. So you get up and put clothes on. 

6:15- You walk into the bathroom, pleased that the time is such an even number. A perfect quarter of an hour. But then you see your brother, standing at the mirror, straightening his wavy hair. You sigh, and ask him how long he’s gonna be in the bathroom. You need to straighten your hair too, and you can’t use the toilet with him standing there. Maybe you could’ve at one point, or on a better day, but today isn’t one of those days. 

6:39- You finish straightening your hair. Your brother is still in the bathroom, even though he doesn’t need to be. He’s crosslegged on the toilet, and you’re paying closer attention to your hair than his rambling, but you still know when to nod and fake-laugh. 

6:52- You don’t pay attention to traffic on the way to work, despite driving. It was your turn to drive, but you’re not in the mood to drive. But you can’t ask your brother to drive, because then he’ll worry about you, and you’ll have to tell him why you’re fine. He’ll never believe you. He says he wants to help you a lot, but he never does, at least not in the way you need. Maybe he doesn’t understand you, or maybe you’re just stupid to him. Can he see you, really? Is he even trying? Maybe you are stupid, or maybe you can’t be helped. You almost hit a woman and her daughter, and you scream out the window that they need to walk faster. You don’t believe yourself, and your brother can tell. You growl. Maybe that’ll change his mind. 

7:28- You arrive at the Parliament building. Your brother gets out of the car first, almost while it’s still moving. Don’t want to be late! he chirps, but the pair of you can’t be late. You can’t give the nation avatars their morning briefing if they’re not there. And you’re not even supposed to be there until eight, anyway. You say nothing of this and call him a dumbass. 

7:37- You’re walking slowly through the halls. You have 23 minutes, and you are alone. Some coffee would be nice. You don’t trust yourself to get coffee and get back in 23 minutes, so you don’t. 

8:00- You walk into the briefing room. Your brother is already there. He gives you a little wave when you walk in. Heat flashes through you, and you feel like you could rip a cork out of a bottle with your bare hands. There is no way to test that, because there are no bottles in this room. You sit beside him, in the chair unofficially designated as yours, and begin the briefing. 

9:00- Another meeting. A headache nips at your temples, and you tell yourself it’s not because you didn’t get coffee. It is. In the meeding, someone mentions your separatists, and you straighten your tie. You also shrink back into your seat. They blame you, or maybe think you have answers. You don’t. You are glad your tattoo is covered. 

10:00- You have nothing to do for now, so you read the news. Your brother is doing paperwork. You should be doing paperwork. If you didn’t share an office, you wouldn’t feel so bad about not doing the paperwork. The sound of his pen on paper grates at you. You can hear his progress as the ball-point gets scratchier. You keep scrolling down the news app on your government phone. 

11:00- You start your own paperwork after the third time your brother harrasses you about it. Hundreds of Lovino Vargas’s make your wrist hurt, but he looks smug about finishing first. 

12:54- You get a chunk of your work done. Your brother’s fucked off somewhere without telling you. You leave the office, leave the building, and find a wall to lean against. You smoke, watching your people. If they’re yours? Things are fuzzier in Rome. You wish they weren’t. No one else is so weak in their capital, and it’s only okay because Veneziano is weak here too. A girl smiles at you, and you blow her a kiss. Her blush is cute, but you can’t enjoy it because you’re engaged. 

13:12- Your brother finds you. He wants to get lunch. You say fine, unenthused. You get lunch from a street market. When the vendor hands your food across the counter, your fingers brush. The look in his eyes changes, and he gapes. He knows who you are. You wink at him, and he stands a little straighter. Your brother knows what’s happened too, and beams at him. He pays in a stack of coins. The vendor chuckles, and stares at your brother in awe. They shake hands while you hold your brother’s lunch. You need to get back to work, so you take your food without shaking the vendor’s hand. 

14:00- It’s another hour passed. Your pen sounds different when you sign your name, but the victory feels hollow. You’re slow. 

15:00- It’s warm. Too warm. You’re heavy, and you want to take a nap. You’re sweating again, and miss the ocean. You can’t remember the last time you saw your fiance. You should make arrangements to see him again. 

16:00- It’s still warm. You’ve sweated through your dress shirt. Maybe you should take your blazer off. But then people will know you’re sweating. And your brother isn’t sweating. You keep the blazer on, and wipe your forehead with a tissue. With the tissue still in your hand, you excuse yourself to the bathroom. You wipe under your arms with toilet paper, and stare at yourself in the mirror. You’re behind, and you sort of miss the times when you didn’t have paperwork. It was better for your wrists, but worse for everything else. Even so, you could lean back on your fiance’s chest whenever you pleased. He had a soft spot for you. Everyone else’s soft spot is for your brother. You wonder if your fiance is the only person who will ever have such a soft spot for you. You splash your face with cold water and pat it dry. Your eyes looked better when they were lined with sweat. 

17:00- It gets loud outside. You continue working. 

18:00- It’s still loud. You’re still working. Your brother takes a break, smoking by the window. There’s sweat under his arms. A secratary walks in to deliver more papers. She likes his suspenders, and he thanks her. He blows her a kiss. You know, the whole point of smoking by the window is to keep the smoke from getting into the room. The secratary leaves. You ruined it. 

19:00- Your brother drives you home. It’s his turn. He pays attention to traffic. You pick at your nails, and wrestle some words down. Your head throbs, and you need a smoke. Or some coffee. 

20:11- You’re home. It smells like you, and you can breathe. It also smells like your brother. Maybe you smell the same. 

20:47- Dinner. You sit down, punctuated by an opening door. You brother’s boyfriend walks in, and he makes him a plate. You shake your head, and push food around on your plate while they talk about trade deals. You wish he wasn’t here. Or maybe you wish you were somehwere else. Maybe you wish you were on the beach, or maybe you miss your fiance. Actually, you always miss him, but most of the time you’ve forgotten. Watching them talk about the trade hurts anyway. It’s not even trade between the two of them. You figure it out and realize that you wish you were human. If you were human you never would’ve met your brother. You’d never have left Sicilia- Or maybe you’d be married to your fiance by now. Whatever. You wouldn’t know either of the men on the other side of the table, and it would be a better life. 

21:03- You brother’s boyfriend is gone. You’re screaming, and so is your brother. You’re both armed with wine glasses, and you feel yours slipping in your hand. You don’t want to drop it, because he’ll help you clean it. You can see it now- The glass falls and shatters, and you fall with it to pick up the pieces. Your brother’s hands meet yours as he does the same. You scream at him and someone bleeds while the other shouts into a pillow. You drink the rest of your wine. You try to talk so fast that you dribble wine down your shirt. Your throat feels tight and your voice pitches up, and now you sound like him. You tell him he’s stupid and obnoxious and he should’ve kept his half of the country. His eyes widen. Yours would too if someone was yelling at you in your own voice. You both ruin your shirts with tears, and Veneziano drops his wine glass. Good job, you say, and track footprints of wine out of the room. 

21:49- You need to go to sleep. You can hear your brother talking to his boyfriend on the phone. You wish it was light enough to see the picture of your fiance on the wall, and you don’t want to get out of bed to turn the light on. You know it’s there, and that helps, but you really wish you could see him. 

5:03- You didn’t sleep much last night. The quiet in the house hurts a little. You’re still in yesterday’s clothes. You wander downstairs. The floor is clean now, and the kitchen door is open. Your brother is outside. 

5:06- You’re not sorry and you let him know. He’s okay with it and you sort of wish he wasn’t but you’re glad he understadns. He makes you cry too much, but you also make him cry a lot. Maybe you shouldn’t live together. You don’t say that, because it might make him cry again. 

5:08- His head is on your shoulder. You can’t move. You think you’re supposed to put an arm around him and be comforting. Your hands were always too rough, too violent, too dirty. They never learned how to love gently. You wouldn’t know how to comfort. You were never supposed to learn what tenderness was. Last night, you wished you hadn’t. 

5:18- You hug him. He does most of the work. You bury your face in his shoulder pretending it’s someon else’s. 

5:19- He’s sorry. You don’t believe him. 

5:20- You say thank you. 

5:21- Niether of you talk. You might not be ready to talk yet. Is it okay, you ask him? He shrugs, because he’s not ready either. No one’s ever ready. 

5:24- You agree to try again today. You both know it won’t work. You try again. 

[thesomberfest]

Star Wars: Timestamps and Thoughts; The Empire Strikes Back

Salutations to all. Welcome back to my blog thing? Anyways today is the one and only The Empire Strikes Back which I think may be the most iconic Star Wars movie. But, don’t quote me on that. I’m only saying that as someone who has heard about Star Wars movies from the outside and honestly out of all the movies The Empire Strikes Back is the one movie I’ve always heard about; name-wise. I don’t think I know any spoilers about this movie, so we’ll see. I’m new to this and I don’t know what I’m doing so please have mercy and help a sister out, thanks. I have some idea based on what the movie is about based on the name but I’ll just take what Disney Plus tells me. I honestly have nothing to say. Should I start writing predictions before writing the timestamps and writing my reaction if I’m right or wrong based on the last movie I watched. Does that make sense? I can’t think of any other way to word it differently but if it makes sense then okay, let’s continue. This isn’t a prediction but um is this the movie where Luke finds about his parentage? Or is it a bit too early? Am I too early? Oh well. While adding timestamps I thought it would be a cool idea to add a “Favorite Scene” section under my “Final Thoughts” sections, I hope y’all like it.

03/9 Edit: Y’all sorry this is late but tomorrow is my birthday and I decided to not do my schoolwork and instead watch Star Wars and write. Before y’all get any ideas: yes. I am in fact still a minor. thanks. 04/3 edit: I AM SORRY THIS IS LATE I HAVE NO EXCUSE

Movie: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Release Date: 1980

Summary(?): So obviously the Empire is going to strike back right? And Luke has to find Yoda to learn the ways of the Force? No? Oh and a final show down with Vader? Am I wrong again?

Warning: spoilers (yea no duh bibi) and mild language on my part

Timestamps

00:00:06- 20th Century Fox is here, hello.

00:00:22- the words on the screen have made an appearance

00:01:41- the iconic words have left, bye-bye

00:04:28- Han Solo

00:04:43- It’s Chewie

00:05:04- Ya’ll it’s my queen Leia. She’s looking badder than ever

00:05:22- so the guy we first saw was in fact Luke, whoops.

00:05:40- Han is leaving? What about Leia? Am I missing something?

00:06:00- Okay so I’m convinced that something happened between Han and Leia, right? She looks pissed, he also looks pissed. Uhhh...

00:06:03- Oh shoot, she called out his name and went after him.

00:06:27- the way Leia feels about him? Sexual tension?

00:06:34- does Han want Leia to admit she has feelings for him? Does she have feelings for him?

00:06:42- “Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a good-bye kiss?”- woah there Han

00:06:47- yeah, something did happen. I’m calling it

00:06:53- YES 3PO and R2

00:07:12- Oh shoot, Han doesn’t want to talk to Leia no more

00:07:19- ain’t nobody know where Luke is

00:08:06- aw Han said Luke is his friend. Character development

00:08:36- um is that Luke being hanged upside down?

00:08:47- uh oh, it’s the abominable snowman, let’s uh call him Yeti for short

00:09:00- Lukie-boy that might be a bad idea 

00:09:34- he’s using the Force to get the lightsaber, nice

00:09:40- oh no, the Yeti noticed

00:09:48- he got the Lightsaber yayy

00:09:50- did he just cut off Yeti’s arm???

00:10:00- run forest run

00:10:40- aw R2 :( I want to give them a hug

00:11:58- Leia looks really nervous. Uh-oh

00:12:53- I’m sorry but Chewie wailing/crying a few minutes earlier makes me sad.

00:13:42- omg Yoda? Han found Luke I repeat he found Luke

00:15:16- I wondered where they filmed or if this was effects or something.

00:16:01- are they going to be found? oh I hope so

00:16:13- yay! Found at last!

00:16:35- i’m sorry. is that a man baby???

00:16:48- oh wait was that man baby Luke? Oh god i kinda feel bad now

00:17:02- aww Luke and Han. Their friendship gives me life (junior)

00:17:05- my queen!!!!

00:17:15- ok but seriously what happened between Han and Leia? I know something happened.

00:17:25- I know Han did not just call my boy Chewie a FUZZBALL, please

00:17:31- alone? South passage? was that when Han claimed he was leaving? Her TRUE FEELINGS

00:17:50- why does Luke look sad? Is it... is it because HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER???

00:17:58- (lets out a female lead in horror movie scream) OH MY GOD. I KNEW A KISS WAS TO HAPPEN BUT SO SOON? AND ON THE MOUTH WITH A PEANUT GALLERY LEIA HAS SOME BALLS. SO IT WAS NOT A PECK LIKE I’D ASSUMED HUH OMG tho I feel bad for Luke ‘cause (i think) she only did it to spite Han also if my math is correct IT WAS FOUR SECONDS LONG. But like is this the only kiss between the two or is there more cause ummm...... AREN’T THEY RELATED? SIBLINGS? TWINS I THINK? *Sweet Home Alabama now playing*

00:18:13- why why does he look so smug? also Han about to kill Luke a man

00:19:14- idk what’s happening

00:19:18- pew pew

00:19:44- THE IMPERIAL MARCH omgg yess... I live for the movies music

00:20:32- oh no, the music ended

00:20:38- wait nvm it’s continuing we stand

00:20:40- breathing problems much?

00:20:52- It’s Darth Vader

00:21:47- wait, didn’t he (Luke) almost die? shouldn’t he like oh I don’t know RESTING?!

00:22:47- have i mentioned that I live for the Imperial March? ‘cause I love it

00:23:39- OH

00:23:51- he really dying in the background huh

00:23:57- so he’s like dead, right?

00:24:02- what’s happening? Are they gonna go against Vader?

00:24:12- what the hell is a stardestroyer?

00:24:44- i’ve been told the dark side has cookies so uh peace out. If you would like to reach me please send me a letter via mail. thanks.

00:25:39- once again shouldn’t Luke be resting???

00:25:53- aww I want those binoculars. Is that what they’re called? Idk but I want one

00:26:05- what the hell are Imperial Walkers?

00:26:27- oh. are those Imperial Walkers? Those robot-looking dogs? omg I thought they were talking about Stormtroopers.

00:26:30- laser beam robot doggies did not hesitate

00:26:40- aw look at Luke being leadership material

00:27:09- wow these walkers are slow huh as to be expected

00:27:50- OH NO DAK bruhh nooo

00:28:09- are those robot dogs really gonna win?

00:28:21- LANDING? You mean Vader isn’t even fighting down there? Is he going to join? Or just find Luke and kidnap him and spill the beans? Or is that just my active imagination running too far?

00:28:39- the music...*beautiful*

00:28:58- tying the feet and tripping the doggies seems to be the moves huh

00:29:15- ooh and face first into the snow. how embarrassing...

00:29:20- I just know someone is losing their job or life like that one dude from before

00:30:18- i like the explosions

00:30:52- while one of the those little planes fall i’m sitting here thinking: most book/movie/tv shows that have the whole two sides thing (good vs bad) there always seems to be a traitor which makes me wonder if the good guys have a traitor? possible plot? idk, we’ll see won’t we?

00:31:18- the way these little doggies walk keep reminding me of some eerie Tim Burton movie and idk whyyy

00:33:04- two robot doggies down one more to go

00:33:25- man I just know someone from the Dark Force is gonna be dead fired

00:34:08- are those stormtroopers? They run funny

00:34:12- Darth Vader!

00:34:45- wait i’m dumb. did Vader invade the building/camp they were hiding at?

00:35:18- what does Vader want exactly? Princess Leia? Luke? the so-called “rebel plans”? What am I missing?

00:35:42- they really said: “peace out”

00:36:30- not regrouping? and what the hell is the Dagobah system?

00:37:30- did two ships just crash?

00:39:10- the music really makes this asteroid field detour awesome

00:40:25- did they--did they just go in a asteroid? Orr..?

00:41:18- and just what the hell is Luke thinking? he putting my baby R2 in distress?

00:42:04- where in the HELL are they?

00:42:21- did my baby R2 just fall in the water? Can he even swim? Is it safe? Is he going to die? Idc how cute Luke is, I will hurt him if 2D dies!

00:42:33- what. how is R2 okay? I thought--

00:42:53- Is that R2 whistling?

00:42:57- oh god, is that Nessie? oh no--

00:43:10- OH MY GOODNESS DID NESSIE JUST EAT MY BABY R2 WHAT THE FUC--

00:43:41- R2 MY BABY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU

00:44:01- YEA LUKE it was a bad idea going there! You put my sweet summer child R2 in danger! He almost got eaten as dinner!

00:44:18- ughhh the music is just AMAZINGGGG

00:44:38- whose brain is that? Is that what’s left of Mr. Anakin Skywalker? ooh now that I think about: what does Darth Vader look behind the helmet? I feel dumb for never thinking about that

00:45:34- hey you leave my man 3PO alone Solo

00:45:46- oh did Leia just fall into Han’s arms? ooh

00:45:56- “Captain, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited” Leia woke up and choose violence 

00:46:56- oh OH Luke is looking for Yoda?

00:47:22- omg it’s YODA

00:47:48- man idk but lighting does wonders for Lukie-babe

00:48:26- is Yoda mocking Luke? ‘Cause I’m here for it

00:48:57- why is Luke lowkey being a pushover?

00:49:09- I KNOW Yoda isn’t hitting my baby R2 with a STICK the disrespect I-

00:49:56- at this point Yoda is just pulling on their legs for kicks and giggles huh

00:51:02- oh? alone? Leia and Han? my oh my

00:51:30- oh so now they hand-holding?

00:51:50- OMG when did they get so close to one another? I’m nervous

00:52:00- KISSING KISSING KISSING I REPEAT LEIA AND HAN ARE KISSING OH MY

00:52:04- ofc it’s 3PO to be the one to interrupt the kiss

00:52:14- oop-- Leia just left the crime scene. She’s going to pretend it never happened isn’t she?

00:53:04- wait. Vader isn’t emperor? Someone else is omg. I’m so dumb eye-

00:53:07- ew his side profile is not so good

00:53:10- the front is even uglier 

00:53:23- “young rebel”? my bby boy Luke?

00:53:25- “offspring of Anakin Skywalker”? wait a damn minute. Isn’t Vader oh idk ANAKIN SKYWALKER? Does that “emperor” guy not know? Or have I been lied to? WHAT AM I MISSING?

00:53:57- does this mean Anakin is considered to be a different person from Vader? I’m confused, someone explain please!

00:54:00- “could be turned”? say like Kylo? *dun dun dun* orr am I thinking too far?

00:54:16- “master”? you mean to tell me that Vader isn’t even the one pulling the strings? how embarrassing...

00:54:34- WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE R2 IN THE COLD RAIN?!

00:56:07- Luke my beauty dumbass just realized that Yoda was with the whole time

00:59:19- What is it?

00:59:29- Mynocks

00:59:35- oh hell no. I’m out

01:01:39- satan works hard but man does Luke work harder

01:01:57- “skinny boys are still the best oh i love when they slam and sweat.”-- Jack Off Jill, Lollirot (jolly good song) this one sentence describes it all :)

01:04:19- idk what’s happening but man does he look good. How long until y’all get tired of me simping over Luke?

01:04:40- wait WAIT THE FINAL SHOWDOWN IS IN THE FOREST? I THOUGHT-- I WAS TOLD--HOLD UP

01:05:01- but like, why it feel fake? Is this a dream? 

01:05:09- OH--[luke just decapitated Vader I-]

01:05:20- wait. it couldn’t have been that easy. This feels wrong-

01:05:29- omg. it’s luke! Wait what does this mean?

01:05:50- when i enter a room I would like the Imperial March to play, thanks.

01:06:26- uh, is that Boba Fett? If not I’m so sorry I’m new.

01:06:52- y’all I have a cofession to make: I have a fear of driving and my mother is forcing me to. How does this relate to the movie? Well, Han is steering the ship(?) so...

01:09:16- titanic part two?

01:10:31- my poor baby luke

01:11:37- luke please don’t give up :(

01:12:32- my man yoda showing up luke huh

01:13:35- uh oh. just like the first guy, he dead too. they’re just dropping like flies huh

01:16:05- and another kiss. a small peck, luke.

01:16:34- so is that Boba Fett or not? someone tell me please.

01:16:38- someone please run my baby R2 a bath

01:16:44-y’all the only time I can do a handstand is when I’m underwater (fun fact: i don’t like the pool)

01:16:51-[R2 is being levitated rn] if he falls and BREAKS into tiny pieces i’m quitting star wars

01:17:28- R2 good, he good “... I saw a city in the clouds.” you mean heaven?

01:17:37- “friends you have there” THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WAIT--

01:19:50- they’ve [leia, han, chewie, 3PO] landed they’re safe, for now (i think)

01:20:25- [chewie replying “gahh!” to han] tell me why I laughed. I actually laughed like Chewie made a joke oh my...

01:20:34- uh oh [some dude just called han a slime(y)]

01:20:49- [they’re hugging now?] oh, wait. so they good now? or is this a joke?

01:22:01- i like the interior design of the building

01:22:49- [3PO gets blown up I think] what the hell just happened? 

01:25:13- he’s not coming back is he? [luke left to save han and leia]

01:26:13- finally. someone save 3PO or what’s left of him also I like leia’s new hairstyle it’s pretty

01:26:44- was 3PO decapitated? dismembered?!

01:26:55- good for chewie to fight for the parts of 3PO hopefully it’s all of his parts

01:27:35- my man 3PO in a box freaking dismembered and Lando out here flirting? 

01:28:30- what the hell? [its vader sitting at the head of the table] wait did Lando say a deal? as in turning in the princess? I--this is all happening so fast

01:28:41- [han and co. are now surrounded by boba fett and troopers] i bet they wished they’d stayed back in their rooms huh

01:30:31- oh so i’m assuming it was a stormtrooper who shot 3PO. what are they doing to han? omg is han being cooked alive?

01:31:33- wait I thought boba fett was a good guy? what the fvck.

01:32:05- what happened to han? mans looks traumatized 

01:32:34- oh leia...

01:34:14- i had also assumed all these years that vader was top boss and now i’m being told about some emperor guy? what 

01:35:18- i don’t understand why does boba fett want with han so bad? it can’t just be money, can it?

01:35:54- oh and another kiss and with an even bigger peanut gallery

01:38:22- what’s gonna happen to han now?

01:40:30- wait, is this where the showdown happens?

01:41:06- why is vader (his breathing) so loud?

01:41:10- OMG red vs. blue lightsaber

01:41:19- so this is it

01:42:01- oh, is lando helping them? does he feel guilty?

01:42:17- [chewie is currently choking the life out of lando] fuck yeah chewie

01:43:14- oh thank god R2 & 3PO have reunited once more

01:43:34- is it too late to save han now?

01:44:01- [back to the showdown, luke just lost his lightsaber] uh--this is why you never get too cocky too early, luke

01:44:27- [luke just flew?!] did he just fly like superman? what

01:44:31- who’s the emperor? I had assumed it was vader but i’m being told it isn’t?????

01:44:56- this showdown is a beautiful fight and those lightsabers are freaking cool 

01:46:15- it’s a beautiful dance and the Imperial March is giving me chills

01:46:32- [vader is throwing random objects at luke] aw that’s cheating. and nobody likes a cheater.

01:46:42- luke just flew out the window oh wait he good, now i think

01:47:12- hold up I just realized that they (han, chewie, leia) put 3PO in a fishnet bag (?) chewie really running around with 3PO like a backpack

01:47:49- [the citizens (?) are running] i’m getting titanic vibes and idk if i like it 

01:49:17- i hate to say it but these stormtroopers have really bad aim.

01:50:26- [vader just cut off luke’s hand] *shock* I-omg. He just did that. But, at the same time, I now understand the ERB Harry Potter v. Luke Skywalker so much more, make sense.

01:51:08- “father”? oh my...

01:51:17- “i am your father” oh my god. people this is not a drill, it happened, it happening uhh---

01:51:28- i feel so bad for luke. he looks like he’s about cry.

01:51:41- probs a bad time but luke’s kinda an ugly crier

01:52:14- [luke just fell & left vader standing] luke really said “i’d rather die”

01:54:04- wait, how does leia know where luke is? this some kind of force thing? maybe twin thing?

01:54:37- oh thank god they found luke

01:58:01- does vader care for luke? I mean probably not a lot since he DID chop off his sons own hand so idk

02:01:58- credits/the end

Final Thoughts? Wow. No yeah, I totally understand why Empire Strikes Back is a loved by all. It was amazing. I understand why it’s so talked about. This movie is beautiful; Leia/Han romance, 3PO and R2 banter, the good action. The soundtrack-THE SOUNDTRACK is SPECTACULAR and I would often fins myself rewinding scenes just to listen to the music. The visuals were so striking and appealing and it really showed during the showdown between luke and vader. 

Favorite Scene? Luke meeting Yoda and not knowing that Yoda was Yoda and every scene that included the Imperial March in the background.

If you have made it this far, thank you. I hope none of you people get tired of me fangirling over the Imperial March whilst simultaneously simping over Luke. Thank you for joining me on my adventure of watching Star Wars for the first time. If there’s any grammar mistakes I apologize. Also I got a cute R2 lego keychain from the lego store. Also if you want leave some comments I’m lowkey lonely. Thank you once again for joining me.

x bibi

[nicknellie]

By the time I finish/send this it’s going to be at the most random time so I say good night and technically good morning for whenever you read this!

I’m glad that you were able to finish your schoolwork, if it’s any consolation you still did hand them in, which is amazing! Also shame on them, they should’ve explained how all of this was going to work.

Same here! It’s so fun replying to these

Let’s do this

(Also if I were to make a tally of how many times I used exactly and agreed I would be in the hundreds by now 😂)

1. You are so brilliant, yes. Reggie just uses random stuff to hold his things especially considering that he has like 1000 scrapbooks so all the other stuff needs to go somewhere. (He also has used Luke’s and Bobby’s)

2. I didn’t think that Reggie actually has pictures of random baby, oh my goodness that is hilarious.

3. Exactly, and the reason why he doesn’t recognize the French dip is because he has no clue where it came from but it does belong to him

The non-box stuff

First two very random comments that totally did not come from me accidentally hitting some board games and seeing jam which led to inspiration for this

First point, Sunset Curve and then later Julie and the phantoms most definitely had board games. In this scenario I’m going to use Spin Master Hedbanz because, I have no clue when this game came out so I’m just gonna say it’s a game that the Molina’s play.

(Hedbanz is the fast-paced, easy to play question game of “What am I?” Ask “yes” or “no” questions, I think Amazon can be thanked for that description)

Anyways, so they play this and after not guess Luke flips a table. that’s this entire point that Luke is the one during game nights to flip tables (never play Monopoly with him)

The second point, the jams. First Reggie hates strawberry jam, loves raspberry jam and is indifferent to marmalade (I mention the last one although it’s not really a jam) however Alex loves marmalade and grape. Luke has no taste, but sometimes likes jelly, and Bobby like marmalade as well (honestly idk)

Now numbers,

2. Wait yes, I don’t know how else to describe it aside from that. (All of them feel guilty, and massive group hug and movie night after)

3. Luke as a frustrated puppy is his facial expression when Reggie accidentally scares Victoria and Luke sits down on the couch. Also yes, that is exactly the conversation they have (Yes Willie can also get through to him). Also it does work when Juli tries it however maybe not as much as when Alex and Willie talk to him.

4. Yes, basically Luke and Alex are two halves of a whole and can read each other very well.

5. Oh yea, Alex is always very sarcastic with the boys and is a tiny bit hesitant in front of Julie however after that interaction he acts more like how he normally is.

6. Yes and there’s no in-between (although it could be that he stayed there for a few days and hasn’t been back since). Aww, that’s so sad and exact what happens, however he doesn’t have someone who gives him a flower, unlike Julie, so he just sits there crying.

8. Yes! I like that theory as well, also for some reason Luke was always very good at solving Rubiks cubes however Bobby never was.

10. So I randomly saw this meme one day and you mentioning the spinning tea cups reminds me of it (I have no clue who made this sadly)

(Just change Luke to be sitting with Julie then) Also yes Luke doesn’t like things that spin, honestly I love the fact that I went off on a board game tangent and you went off on a theme park tangent.

Yes, every single ride Alex goes on, also yes for bobby. I love the little addition you made that they save it for the end of the day, adding on there’s like one ride that Bobby won’t go on (maybe the tea cups) and he always rides the logflume ride during that time)

Oh yes, anytime they go to a waterpark or go on a roller coaster or basically anything Reggie will take a picture of it, (also there’s quite a few of the boys going on roller coasters that Reggie doesn’t want to ride)

Luke goes on a ghost train once and regrets everything, he spends the entire ride with his head buried in Alex‘s hoodie. Yes, also Bobby has to make sure that Alex doesn’t accidentally bump in to random strangers.

Toffee nut- for a second I thought you said that Reggie didn’t know one of his friends was allergic to gluten and I was like this fits Bobby so much but I misread that severely. But that’s exactly what happens, also Julie brings it up once, just in general, and that’s where Alex has to be like ‘Reggie we are already dead’

11. The game to see if Reggie is lying or not, love that. (Honestly I wanted him to have actually met Queen Elizabeth very randomly however your theory fits so well)

13. Yes, they all just randomly dance around the studio. I mean the band in full cowboy outfit should be very high up on your list of things to expect for season two.

14. That’s exactly why I said that, because Nick shouldn’t be able to see the boys however since he’s actually Caleb during that moment he can. So he has to pretend like he isn’t furious, he kind of fails but somehow is able to pass it off.

They can’t deny good music, love this line and yes they most definitely can’t.

15. I’m glad that you like the little Han-solo idea

16. Yes, yes, we all know that Alex still lets them in the kitchen because he can’t say no to the puppy dog eyes however during that moment he tries his best to keep them out

17. Alex was most definitely the cutest baby also that is precisely what the photo looks like. (As you mentioned earlier I believe whenever Reggie was upset at Luke he would give Julie baby pictures of Luke. So of course Reggie does the same to Alex and shows Willie pictures of him as a baby. And Willie has heart eyes for the rest of the day from that photo

19. They definitely jump in puddles also the amount of times Luke has done that to Alex for no reason at all is a lot (also this is adorable)

20. Yes, I think everyone fell in love with Alex after the first episode as they should. ‘I have been crying for 25 years. How is that possible?!?!’

Yes Reggie and Willie definitely only talk in puns to each other and Alex is not happy (lies but for now they will let Alex be)

Also this makes me think that if flynn had known that Luke existed when she was going to egg Julie’s house, he definitely would’ve helped. Also yes, Emily buys those eggs right then and there, alongside toilet paper because.

21. That’s exactly what I thought but now seeing it in writing makes me upset. Him having a key symbolizes that he now found his home, and when Luke ran away Alex was so torn because obviously he supported his best friend more than anything however at the same time he just didn’t know what to do. (I don’t think I’ve seen this list but I am very intrigued, should we petition the show to let you write Mitch‘s character for season two) Yes, Alex and Luke are such brothers and we can blame Mitch.

24. The first time I saw the song I just thought that she sang in it as background vocals or something and then I was massively disappointed. Wait wait, what if in season two we get a song from Flynn that basically answers flying solo and shows how much Julie means to Flynn. I am in the same exact boat flynn is in a music program so at the very least we have to see her doing something they can’t just waste that talent like that. So I know this YouTube creator by one video and one video alone which is I’m going to kill Santa Claus, but yes I added it to my watch later (also you did get the title right, caps and everything)

25. Yes, he wanted to be strong for her which is why he initially went. (Third chance at getting a family 🥺🥺 awww)

Yes they exactly would’ve been uncle Reggie, uncle Luke, and uncle Alex, she definitely would’ve been nicer just due to the fact that the boys never would’ve let her get away with it.

26. I mean even when the boys forgive him, he still doesn’t forgive himself. Also yes, and the first thing he does is remake the hat for Alex because for some reason Alex hasn’t been able to find the hat (and or one for Willie because he wears beanies as well) Just imagine happy Bobby reunited with his bandmates (family) though aww.

28. Yes, also Reggie is like a cat when it comes to yarn so after he initially got tangled of course he got himself even more tangled until he just became a ball of yarn. (I love that title, also there is two parts because Reggie made a similar one again due to the fact that this happened twice)

30. Yes, Willie does have an old soul and him and Alex connect very well with Vitoria

32. Yes, best fan base ever. Legitimately they will get stopped on the street and if someone finds out that their sunset Curve they immediately get some sort of fanart or sticker (also a hug because Luke will give free hugs to everyone)

Yes, honestly I was thinking that Alex could be a cat as well however you’re entirely correct it’s Bobby who is the cat. I’m a bit stumped on what Alex would be, hear me out he would be a hedgehog just because that would be absolutely adorable. (Also I love the owl idea that’s brilliant)

Wait, not only does Alex get that but a fan handmade a puzzle of the band and it’s one of Alex‘s most treasured items from a fan.

34. The boys laugh for so long but the eventually help him out of the fridge, not before Reggie takes a picture though

35. Wait yes, Ray helps them out with the photoshoot. At first he thought that Flynn was asking him to take the pictures and he was completely prepared but then he quickly realizes that she kind of just wanted him to be there too not only help out but because he’s the greatest.

37. They take all of his hoodie expect the pink one, however they do wear it just give it back.

39. He says it immediately, honestly doesn’t even register that he says it until about five minutes later

40. It’s actually a mixture of both, also because Alex wears Luke’s shirts while they are practicing. Even if the practice doesn’t turn out the best they always have a great time just because they love spending time with each other and that makes everything better.

So you mentioning Willie wanting to learn lifts and stuff, and it made me think of the fact that Kenny Ortega has done dirty dancing which means they should have a scene like this

https://youtube/DIKpUa0O7Ns (if the link doesn’t load basically its the dirty dancing - time of my life final dance)

So now I need this in season two. (Also Willie is the one who is being lifted)

Also I agree this may take the cake for my favorite (also because I now have the dance I want Willie and Alex to do in season two)

Now I may have Time of my life stuck in my head ‘and I owe it all to you’ (actual a song lyric and technically I only have myself to blame)

I’ve been trying to answer this all day but kept getting interrupted by things including but not limited to my schoolwork and the fact that my kitten escaped the bathroom while my mum was trying to wash her which caused s t r e s s but I’ve finally got round to it so here we go!

Before I start, thanks! I actually managed to get most of my work in on time today which I’m really proud of (all of it was in on time if we ignore maths, but that’s my worst subject and I don’t think my teacher is excepting much from me anyway 😂😭)

And oh god I kind of am tempted to make tallies of how often we say that now lmaooo I’d add for me any variation of “ahdslflkdp” or “omg lmaooo yes”

Anyway! Let’s start!

BOX STUFF

1. Thank you!!!!! Exactly but somehow I can imagine he still manages to be messy. Like all his stuff is packed away neatly, but the boxes they’re packed away in are just everywhere and it’s a nightmare for Alex who likes to be clean and tidy. (Luke doesn’t care whether things are messy or tidy, and Bobby is messy but not as cluttered as Reggie I think) And yes!! He uses Luke’s and Bobby’s too, as well as a drum Alex accidentally broke and is now kind of like a box if that makes any sense lol

2. Ikr lmaooo he just puts them in there like “well we needed something” and when Bobby continues to say it doesn’t count because it’s not him he just claims the baby is an honorary member of the band

3. Yes! Maybe he found it one day, thought to himself that he’d read it and try it out later but then completely forgot about it and the box

BOARD GAME AND JAM STUFF

1. I am so in love with this idea oh my godddd, yes, your mind!!!! They have these extravagant board game nights that last hours and hours (while they’re all wearing their matching pyjamas or onesies of course). I love games like Hedbanz omg and I can totally imagine them playing this and also games like Cluedo, Pictionary, Articulate (great game btw if you’ve never played, highly recommend), and any game Julie finds like at a charity shop (because I can totally see her and Flynn going to charity shops and finding a bunch of cool stuff??) Whoever is in a team with Julie is pretty much guaranteed to win (unless it’s Luke, but Alex or Reggie with Julie are pretty much unstoppable) and in the old days Reggie was the master of all games. You’re so right about Luke getting angry lmao monopoly was banned after the first fifteen minutes of the first time they ever played it

2. I love how random that whole thing is but also that you’re 100% right. Also the fact that This Band Is Back is also called Reggie’s Jam has led to some interesting different versions of that song over the years

NUMBER STUFF

2. This kind of links in but not really - once they’re with Julie they have movie nights too and Flynn and Willie often join in. Julie and Flynn have a couple’s jumper and Reggie and Luke are jealous of how comfy they look all snuggled up together so because Luke is wearing one of Alex’s hoodies they both get into that. The only problem is Alex’s hoodie only has one head-hole so they end up stretching it and Alex isn’t happy. Him and Willie just watch the whole time, Alex not finding any of it amusing, Willie laughing his head off

3. Yes that was the exact image I had in my head!!! And it only works when Julie does it because it’s Julie and Luke isn’t really convinced but he’ll agree with her because it makes her happy and that’s all he really wants

4. Ok that made me think of Merlin if you’ve ever watched that show??? If you haven’t then you should, it’s on Netflix and one of my all time favourites. Anyway the phrase two halves of a whole is really similar to two sides of the same coin which is used all the time in Merlin and now I kinda wanna write a Merlin AU where Luke is Arthur, Alex is Merlin, Reggie is Gwaine, Julie is Gwen, Carrie is Morgana, Caleb is Uther, etc.

5. Yeah 🥺 I kinda just want more of Alex relaxing around Julie next season y’know? Like they’re obviously super close but he doesn’t always act around her the same as he does with the guys. I want to see them get closer, have nights where it’s just the two of them, maybe Alex officially coming out to her (though I like to think he already did that and it just wasn’t shown to us)

6. Omg ok that hurt. Wow. Because the boys don’t cross over or go to wherever Rose went after they died, they just stayed in the dark room for an hour, they can’t watch over Bobby and see how he’s doing and they can’t send him any signs like Rose did for Julie. If they had been able to do that then things would have been so much different!

8. What if Bobby started trying like everything the boys liked when they were alive? Like after he realises he can’t make jewellery or write poetry anymore he tries the Rubik’s Cube but can’t do it. So he tries puzzles but just can’t find them as interesting as Alex did. And he tries crosswords and sudokus but can’t wrap his head around them like Reggie. Eventually all his interests kind of drop away and he’s left with even less than he already had.

10. Absjdldl yes lmao that’s perfect! Honestly I love that for us, little random tangents here and there is perfect 😂

Yessss I love that lol like when he meets up with the guys again he’s soaking wet and grinning like an idiot lmao

Reggie has scrapbooks dedicated to their theme park trips and it’s kind of messy and most of the photos are blurry but he loves them as they’re some of his best memories

Also the image of Alex getting so lost in his happiness watching everyone having fun that Bobby just has to pull him out of the way of people is glorious and I love it

Also I had another random thought literally just now. This is kinda based on something that happened when I was 12 I think? So Sunset Curve goes to a theme park and they’ve just finished lunch and Alex wants to go back on rides immediately so they decide to go on something small and not scary so they won’t like vomit their food everywhere. Reggie goes with it because they won’t be going on a big ride. They go on one of the smallest rides there, literally it’s this platform that moves side to side I can’t really explain it better than that. And it is the most terrifying ride any of them have been on in their entire lives even though it looks fine and Reggie refuses to go on anything else for the rest of the day just in case he’s tricked by its tame appearance again.

Toffee nut - omg yeah no I love that! Bobby is definitely allergic to gluten. Alex loves baking special gluten-free stuff just for him and the others are banned from eating it (but y’know they ignore that and do anyway)

11. Tbh now you’ve said that I want it too and I’ve changed my mind, there’s a high chance he did meet her. Somehow. Even he’s not really sure what happened but yeah he did 😂

13. Honestly just any kind of fancy dress? Like cowboys is up there but I’d love to see Fairy Princess Luke ngl

14. I love the image of Nick very poorly containing his anger and ending up accidentally saying something like “they wouldn’t know sophistication if it snuck up and slapped them” and then having to explain what the hell that meant to Julie

16. No one can resist Reggie and Luke’s puppy dog eyes 😂 I love the idea that he shoos them away but they look at him through the door. So he shuts the door, leaving them outside, but they move to the window. He pulls the curtain down over the window but they come in through the front door and stand in the kitchen again and either he has to relent and let them stay or offload them to Bobby or Julie depending on when this is

17. Afjkgjl yes and Alex looks as if he’s embarrassed by it but really he’s isn’t, he’s actually angry because he wanted to be the one to show Willie his baby photos and Reggie stole that from him damnit!

19. This is kind of unrelated but it’s on the subject of water so kinda close - water fights. Absolutely. Especially in summer. Alex is the best at them. Luke sucks (it’s kind of becoming a theme that Luke is awful at anything competitive and I love that lmao)

20. LITERALLY. He said that and a bunch of other things (there’s too many to list lol) and I was immediately like “ok yeah he’s gonna be my favourite isn’t he” and I was right

Absjdidko yeah he hates the puns but love that they’ve found something to bond over, he’ll just never admit it. Whenever they’re doing it he just shakes his head disappointedly, trying to hide a smile

Lmao yeah Luke is well-practised at egging houses and for at least an hour he would have been thinking “I want to but it’s Julie” unable to decide and eventually he would have done it for the fun

Emily Patterson honestly would’ve won Mother of the Year imo (except the arguing with Luke, but that’s one flaw and otherwise she was great)

21. Omg yeah totally, he would have definitely struggled between supporting Luke by not going and supporting himself by going. Either he would have not gone, or gone secretly and updated Emily and Mitch to tell them Luke was safe.

YES DEFINITELY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Honestly I love Mitch and there’s so much I want to see from him (especially a conversation with Ray) and I would love to write his character @ Kenny Ortega please hire me :)

Also here’s the list of you want to look through it whenever lol

24. I love this yesss we deserve to see Flynn’s response to Flying Solo! Honestly my prediction for her is that she kind of starts feeling left out of everything because she can’t see the boys (even though Julie and the guys obviously don’t mean to leave her out and they’re devastated when she tells them that’s what’s going on) which A) could be how she starts to reconnect with Carrie and B) could be the reason she sings a song for Julie. And YES Jadah Marie is so talented therefore Flynn is and that can’t be wasted!

Lmaooo I’m Going to Kill Santa Claus is one of the only videos I’ve not seen of his but I love all his other stuff. And I’m legit proud of myself for remembering that title 😂😂

25. Exactly! Like Trevor I think would be a semi-lenient parent and whenever Carrie acts up it would have been Alex who was the first to tell her off and tell her what she should have done. He would never shout, but he also wouldn’t sugarcoat it and would be honest. Reggie and Luke would have been gentler on her but Bobby would have just been terrible at discipline lol

26. Yes omg 🥺 the little gestures like making more hats are the things that get the boys to finally forgive him. And I know for a fact that Willie wearing a beanie is all I’m going to be thinking about forever now, holy moly

28. Ajsbdkspskke yes!! Eventually it turns into a whole series of songs that end with “Bobby I Swear I Will Hide All Your Knitting Needles If You Don’t Start Cleaning Up Your Yarn, This Is Your Final Warning”

32. I love that! The band is very sociable so they run into fans a lot and fans just start bringing their fanart and stickers wherever they go because you never know when you might run into Sunset Curve

Omg I can totally see hedgehog Alex that’s literally perfect I love it! Because he’s kind of shy and nervous but also prickly (like come on, his sarcasm and the way he just deadpans half his lines is brilliant)

Yessss it’s this really detailed painting made into a puzzle of all of them and Alex puts off making it for ages because he doesn’t want to damage it or anything 🥺

34. Lmao yeah Reggie has to take a load of photos because he’s using his Polaroid and he’s laughing so much that the camera shakes and the photo comes out blurry every time

35. Yes she wants him there because Ray is obviously the Best Dad Ever (I am definitely in agreement with Reggie on this one). Also it helps because then it doesn’t look like Flynn is by herself taking all these photos because the guys can’t be seen 😂

37. Yes lol the one rule is that if you take the pink one you MUST give it back. Willie is the only one who can occasionally get away with breaking that rule, in which case Alex just takes it back himself

39. Absjdldl yes especially because Carrie doesn’t comment on it (because she’s not really listening to him, just speaking her thoughts aloud, because I feel like she does that a lot? Talks to herself because it’s easier to understand her thoughts when she says them?)

40. Omg yes and that’s even better because Alex had done it with Luke and Reggie so he knows how! I mean, it doesn’t go well at all, but they have fun!

God me too now I’ve got it stuck in my head 😂 tbh I had Devil Went Down To Georgia and also Ring Of Fire stuck in my head for ages after we mentioned those so it only makes sense lol

[purplesurveys]

1053

1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before? Other than the obvious getting-a-job and other adulting stuff, 2020 was the year of my first cigarette, the first time I had to use eye drops, the first time I got sick for longer than a day, and the first time I tried my hand in embroidery.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make any because I usually get tired of maintaining them after a few weeks. But idk, last night I had an idea that I want to try a new restaurant by myself every weekend in 2021. It’s very self-care-y which is what I need these days, and it’s definitely feasible now that I have my own money. Given my track record with resolutions I’m not expecting too much, but I still hope I’m able to hold out for as long as I can.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I know a co-worker became a mom this year, but I don’t consider myself close to her. We’re cool with each other, but that’s about it. Her baby is the cutest though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? One of my great-aunts passed away in April.

5. What countries did you visit? I stayed put here. It wasn’t like I could get on an airplane this year anyway. The Thailand and Vietnam trips are going to have to wait.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? Me back.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 10 (the start of the lockdown); August 2 (my university graduation); September 15 (the breakup and Angela’s birthday); November 9 (my first day as an employee).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being able to be strong enough to stay.

9. What was your biggest failure? Self-harm, or blaming myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yeah I got a UTI early in the year, which gave me a week-long fever. I’ve also gotten hundreds of scratches and play bite marks from Cooper since we got him in June.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My embroidery kits! I bought them on a whim and seriously doubting if I’ll ever enjoy it given my previous hatred for anything sewing/knitting; but I’ve already done two templates and I just ordered two more to do during the holiday break. I haven’t gotten much for myself yet because my first paychecks coincide with Christmas lol, but once the gift-giving is out of the way I want to get myself games on the Nintendo Switch, Airpods, and candles.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Andrew has been incredibly supportive and patient, and has stuck by me through the whole year whether I was on top of the world, stressing out over our thesis, or in my inconsolable black hole of sadness. No clue where I’d be without them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Gabie, at least by August. I don’t know anyone who consistently let me down in the last 12 months.

14. Where did most of your money go? Christmas gifts for others; for myself, Starbucks coffee and pastries.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Graduating college and sharing my graduation photo with everyone. I remember also having been super excited to work on my birthday gift for Gab, which was to make a short video for her using iMovie (which I had never touched before until then). I was the best fucking girlfriend. Also, getting Cooper!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2020? Not sure. Music wasn’t a big part of my life this year. Maybe Why We Ever by Hayley Williams? I put it on repeat too many times in 2020.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder? A lot sadder.

ii. Thinner or fatter? Said sadness made me lose my appetite and a whole bunch of weight by the latter part of the year. All of my shorts and jeans have gotten loose around my waist, so I’ve definitely felt the weight loss.

iii. Richer or poorer? I’m richer now, but only because I didn’t have a job before and I do now. My family’s finances have taken a blow due to the pandemic, though. I try to help by chipping in for the electricity bill, and buying my family nice food every now and then. 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Love myself, appreciate myself, thank myself. All the self-love crap I didn’t think I deserve.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Tolerating bullshit I knew I didn’t deserve but kept going with anyway.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? We’ll be with my mom’s side on the 24th; having family come over to our place on the 25th; and will be going to my dad’s side on the 26th. Gonna be the most hectic three days ever and I’m PUMPED tbh lol. It’ll be the busiest we’ve been all year.

21. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2020? Meh, I just hated the times I made mistakes at work as I hate fucking up in general and looking bad in front of colleagues.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? I stayed in it.

23. How many one-night stands? No thanks.

24. What was your favorite TV program? The Crown was, until it got associated with painful memories and I had to put my viewing indefinitely on hold. My favorite show this year would be either Descendants of the Sun or Start Up; both are amazingly good.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don’t think so. I don’t throw that word around a lot anyway.

26. What was the best book you read? Bret Hart’s memoir was a fun read.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Beach House and Chase Atlantic. ALSO, Twice lolololol

28. What did you want and get? My first job.

29. What did you want and not get? Commitment from the one person I asked it from.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn’t watch a lot of movies this year. I actually think I just saw one?? which is really unlike me; but it wasn’t a big year for film anyway. I have yet to see Ammonite, which I already think I’ll love.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 22 and I just stayed at home with family while my best friend and her boyfriend sent over sushi for me.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I got to keep my relationship, which I thought had been faring well until she abruptly pulled the plug on everything.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Casual and didn’t really evolve too much considering I didn’t go out a lot.

34. What kept you sane? Good Mythical Morning. I owe my life to them. And embroidery.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I didn’t develop a crush on him until this month lmaaaaaaao but Kim Seon Ho is so so so so so dreamy.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The shutdown of ABS-CBN early in the year and the US elections.

37. Who did you miss? My friends in my org.

38. Who was the best new person you met? The people at my workplace that I ended up having a great rapport with.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: From a tweet I retweeted: “You keep bad people around you and make excuses for their behavior because if you decided to hold even one person accountable, you’d have to recognize the offenses you’ve ignored and accepted. You’ll realize how much you’ve invalidated your own pain to ensure the comfort of others.” It was a harsh slap in the face, but I needed to hear it.

[expression-in-its-essence]

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

[kc-meets-dc]

Asks! Asks! Asks!

@back-in-the-good-old-days: “Idk why but Granny saying that non-metas will eventually die bc of the exposure and gives the example of Dick and then they have the throwback scene and the end scene of Wolf sleeping next to Wally’s hologram makes me think that they’re going to kill Dick off and bring back Wally. This the second time that I’ve thought that this whole Dick thing is reminding me of Ric Grayson/Agent 37 and I DONT LIKE IT!”

Oh, my God, NO!!! I really hope they don’t do that! On the one hand, bringing Wally back is a definite plus and it was going to happen anyway. Plus the Speed Force can actually cure the Anti-Life Equation, so it would make sense. But Dick is one of my favorite characters! I really don’t want him to die! They could do what they did during the Crime Syndicate arc in the comics where they kill him off, but he didn’t really die and is now doing hero stuff in secret to set up an Agent 37-esque storyline. I wouldn’t mind that, but it’s still worse than what I wanted. Hopefully Dick will be okay and Wally will come back anyway. Let’s just hope that happens.

@cartoons4ever77: “Well, I just saw Terminus and it was as amazing as it was horrifying! Granny won and the selected members of the Justice League, the Markov siblings, Forager, and the remainder of the original team are now under the effects of the Anti-Life Equation! I wasn't expecting Wally to come back in that hallucination, but it was really refreshing to have some comedy in the mix of this game-changing episode. Now it looks like Gar and the rest of his team will need to step up for real and save the day.”

It does look like it’ll be up to Gar, the rest of The Outsiders, and probably Traci and Zatanna since they got namedropped in the episode too to save the day. I would say Tim’s squad could also be included, but let’s be real here. They won’t be. It’s sad, but we’ll just have to live with that. And yeah, seeing Wally come back with so many great callbacks to what The Team was like back in the good old days was amazing! It was my favorite part of the episode! Plus now we can add one more word to the ever-growing dictionary of Teamspeak. Jected! Ha! Amazing! It’s probably my second favorite episode of the season (Private Security’s still number one, though. What can I say? Bowhunter Security rules!). I’m really looking forward to seeing how they pay this off next week, as I believe (And don’t quote me on this because I’m not 100% sure about it) that they’re airing the final three episodes all together that day. It’s gonna be so crash!

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x12 “Prophet and Loss”

me: (◕︿◕✿)

i’m too soft™ for this

03:26pm

i am NOT READY in any way, shape or form

but i have a standard-quality video file and a 720p one is downloading slowly

i saw the promo video thing, dean’s phone battery died and i swear my heart died with it

i’m with cas on the “no suicide please” train

on the one hand, this is a deadly duo episode and i don’t trust them. BUT, they have been less awful recently. so. i’m like. expecting some gay. but that gay is ultimately gonna feel like queerbaiting, right?? LET’S HOPE NOT

fingers crossed for real gay, just in case i jinx it by doubting it

-

03:29

HERE GOES

-

03:31

the box underwater

THIS BETTER BE A DREAM

-

03:32

THE TERROR ON DEAN’S FACE IS MAKING MY HEART POUND I DON’T LIKE THIS ONE LITTLE BIT

-

03:33

the blood on the walls from his fingers

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

;~;

-

03:34

so far enjoying the directing here

dean’s got a red light saying nope, not changing his mind

sam’s behind him every step of the way

now sam’s trying to build a bridge between them (art on the wall)

-

03:38

just............ sitting here............. recoiling constantly from the screen while this dude does whatever he’s doing to his girl

deeply uncomfortable

-

03:41

so dean hasn’t even told cas and jack

oh man

-

03:42

OH MAN SAM ALREADY TOLD CAS

OH MAN

-

03:42

the fact dean shoulders open the bathroom door without touching it and dries his hands on his jeans is a) so beautiful, and b) so relatable

-

03:45

the guy with the knife again

i winced away from the screen so hard i pulled a muscle in my neck

goddamn i forget how wearing earbud headphones means i can’t just close my ears or move away from the distressing noise

-

03:39

sam: “if we could not have conversations that sound like deathbed apologies, i would really appreciate..”

i fricking cannot with my emotions right now

also john winchester is an asshole

-

03:56

THE SMILE

;A;

“it’s so good to hear from you!!!!”

;A; ;A; ;A;

-

03:58

dean: “so thank you, and, um........................ it’s good to hear your voice”

;~;

-

04:01

why do people say “you don’t have to do this” when tied up and in danger

i find that a strange thing to say? idk

-

04:50

more red lights

a lot of red lights in this

-

04:07

another one

-

04:14pm

switching to 720p because the download’s finally done

also do women actually wear those kinds of frilly night gowns??? or is that just what people imagine “lady life partner who died violently in the night to further the manpain” to wear

-

04:17

sarah: “you wanted him... you still do.... you didn’t come here to find peace, you came here to the place where you became one with him”

sounds gay and evil

-

04:19

sarah: “you can’t.... because you are him”

i mean that makes sense, if an angel is in a host for a long time and does the same acts over and over and feels certain emotions, the host’s brain pathways would form that way, to continue doing and feeling those things

but also i guess nick said yes in the first place, and continued to allow lucifer to use him, because he was that way inclined to begin with

......you know, by the same logic, jimmy probably had feelings for dean tbh

-

04:22

i kept expecting sarah to explode in a justified ghostly rage and set the walls on fire

but here we are..........

not with a bang but with a whimper

-

04:23

kjasdufshfsdhfhFDSKJGJDSJGSJDKGJKDJGJDJGJKGJKGDFJKKJG

this screenshot of cas is a screenshot of me reacting to this screenshot

(also the noise dean’s brain is making)

-

04:25

“doctor”

this screenshot doesn’t show the subtlety of all his movements  BUT HE’S FUCKING trying not to look THRILLED LOOK AT THAT ALMOST-SMILE OMG.

just a hair’s breadth from flustering and looking down the way he did with dr. sexy maybe??? tbh he also looks sad, he would be a lot happier if he weren’t about to lock himself in a box for eternity

the lil gulp as well ?

definitely lowkey flustered, i’m calling it

-

04:29

yup, cut to sam and the real doctor WHILE DEAN AND CAS HAVE A SILENT CONVERSATION OFF SCREEN yes/yes?

-

04:32

“oh, no. no, please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. just stop.”

he SO MAD

i love cas more than words can say

-

04:34

cas: “so then.......... this is goodbye?

THE LOOK IN THEIR EYES

MY HEART IS BREAKING OH NO

-

04:35

And then SAM INTERRUPTS

ARE YOU KIDIDNG ME

ARE YOU FSDUFVJSDGVJ ING KIDDING ME

well at least that means there’s still something to be said between them, still eternally unsaid

-

04:37

cas: “dean, if there’s a spark, a hope, then i have to try”

aaaaaaand there’s the parallel again, if cas can save donatello then he can save dean

-

04:38

YELLOW LIGHT GREEN ROOM

WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE

and of course cas was the one who, by appearing, changed everything

-

04:43

this is so stinking cute i love seeing them together doing ANYTHING AT ALL i love them both so much

-

04:44

also they talk v close and it feels v intimate

i can feel their body heat from here

-

THEY GOT CLOSER

-

04:45

I HAVE MISSED SEEING THEM TOGETHER AND NOT ANGRY OR ACTIVELY DYING

-

CAS’ LIL SMILE

-

04:47

dean: “cas’ll catch you up”

BUT IS DEAN GONNA LEAVE FOREVER AND LEAVE CAS OH NO

-

04:50

sam: “donatello never quit fighting, so we could help him, because he never gave up”

OH MAN THAT GOT ME RIGHT IN THE DEPRESSION FEELS

I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE JARED THOSE LINES

-

04:51

sam: “i believe in us” *punch*

okay but i laughed and i probably shouldn’t laugh

but i did laugh

-

04:52

dean: “okay sam. let’s go home”

ok time to cry

-

04:52

dean: “but i do believe in us”

(cas walks up)

“i believe in all of us”

P E R F  E C T

-

04:54

the end screen is white from the impala lights and i’m crying this was beautiful and perfect and HOW THE FUCK DID THE DEADLY DUO PULL THIS OFF

thAT PARALLEL BETWEEN DONATELLO AND DEAN THOUGH

THAT WAS LIKE...... ACTUAL WRITING

this was great??????/ and i’m emotional??????/ more emotional that i have been for ...um, pretty much every episode for like... 2 or 3 seasons, maybe

this was a 10/10 easily

jeeeez the suicide thing and sam talking dean out of it

look

y’all know how much i love dean and cas, and seeing them in the same place at the same time

but sam’s moment at the end was the best part of this whole thing

.........but. also.

i feel like dean and cas had a scene cut. as always. there was something missing there that i feel we were promised and didn’t get. please god let us get an actual conversation between them??? about their feelings for each other????????? it kind of sickens me that we haven’t had that yet. and it’s clearly almost happening, again and again and again and it’s definitely a romance trope, interrupted before they confess their feelings

a high point: dean and sam saved the asian kid from being killed by fire, that was both good and cool and i was very relieved

i’m a bit frustrated that nick is still ... happening

but at the same time, i find nick like 350% more interesting and enjoyable to watch than lucifer

there was a lot going on in this episode, as there always is in the buckleming episodes, but i watched in stops and starts because of cats and food and the wind slamming my door and my sister texting me, so if there were pacing issues i didn’t notice. it seemed pretty smooth to me idk

but i did really enjoy this, besides the gruesome murders and latino murdery guy (who was the best friend of the older twin brother (dean parallel), technically making the murdery guy a cas parallel?) killing people in horrible ways and then killing himself :/

also dean saying the guy was a psycho and then punching him out felt a liiittle bit like “people with mental health issues are evil and dangerous” and that felt uncomfortable EVEN THOUGH the guy WAS a bad murdery sort, and the whole episode was clearly also about helping people with depression or suicidal designs for themselves.

(now i type all this out, i’m realising the underlying messages of this episode were kind of messy. just a bit.)

edit: OR maybe that was dean’s self-hatred talking

(how and why did the next prophet in line have an enochian tattoo, if the pick is random? was it just coincidence? or did he get that tattoo after donatello started whispering to him?)

sarah...... she was clearly angry, and ghosts that’ve been around a long time tend to get verrrry angry, as i recall? she could’ve done some angry ghost stuff, that would’ve been more satisfying maybe (but on the other hand, the quietness of nick’s exit was also impactful)

i enjoyed the transition of red lights and backdrops throughout the episode to yellow and white, and then the green in the room at the end

anyway. yes. really did expect more on the dean-and-cas front, but i also expected to be let down, so i don’t really know where i stand on that. i just want more of them interacting in general ;~;

next week: MORE EMOTIONS!!!! YAY

[crossandchange]

50 Questions Tag!

I got tagged by @jongin-be-my-jagi and I’m doing this instead of doing reading for my classes... 

1. What takes up too much of your time?

YouTube. Honestly their algorithm on recommending videos is scary--I read some papers on this before and it works. We’re all just manipulated by what the algorithm shows us.

2. What makes your day better?

When someone sends me pictures of Kyungsoo! 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

The cat sat on my lap for a little bit before disappearing to her hiding spot.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Honestly, the last time I read any fiction (other than fanfiction) was in high school, and I’m not sure if I’d want to go to any of those places...

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Maybe. It depends upon the subject. I give advice to people if they ask me for advice or if I feel really strongly about something, and if their values and thoughts are similar to mine. If someone who’s not like me is asking for advice on something serious, I decline.

6. Do you have any mental illnesses?

Did have some trauma here and there after my traumatic hiking trip, but not any illnesses that I know of.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Not sure. pass!

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Jacqueline du Pre when I was young. I saw a recording of her playing the Elgar Cello Concerto and I was amazed by how much emotion she put into her music.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes. It’s great but then when it ends it sucks. Therefore my policy is just to not fall in love. Yeah, yeah, call me a pessimist all you want.

10. What’s your dream date?

Again, I usually avoid the topic of dating and romance and relationships, so I don’t really put thought into this stuff... but maybe a picnic and ballroom dancing.

11. What do others notice about you?

That I’m a short kid and that I’m indian. And that I have braces even though I’m in college. It’s not my fault that I had to have dental surgery twice! My dentist says that in his 17 years of practice, I’m one of his hardest cases.

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

I tend to expect more from people that I love.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Uhhh no not really. Just a quick hi how are you sorta thing every year or so.

14. How many exes do you have?

One.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Don’t have a playlist, I just use YouTube Mix.

16. What instruments can you play?

Viola

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

KYUNGSOO!!!! 

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Once to Japan!

19. What’s your zodiac?

I’m a Virgo. A Tiger Virgo.

20. Do you relate to it?

A little bit with regards to the Virgo perfectionist, where perfectionism becomes their downfall.

21. What is happiness to you?

Giving and receiving love, and knowing that even though shit happens, everything’s alright.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Depends upon what “anything” means.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

My traumatic hiking journey.

24. What’s your favorite store?

TARGET

25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion?

I’m pro-choice, but conditional. It’s complicated. If you really want to know, talk to me in DM.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I have lists here and there for errands and schoolwork.

27. Do you have a favourite album?

When I was in high school and had my semi-emo phase, Green Day’s American Idiot. But now it’s probably the EX’ACT repackage.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Haven’t put much thought into it. Actually, I really don’t have specific expectations  for the future in general. I find that life never works out as you want it to. 

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

My friend says that I have and I quote, “big bitch energy”. Honestly, it used to bother me, but I really don’t want to change my mannerisms and my behavior so that people think differently. It doesn’t matter that much, anyway.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

On the internet, I seem a little bit older, like in my early to mid twenties. But in person, I get mistaken for a high school student because I’m a short kid. 

31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping?

Right next to me

32. What word do you say the most?

I have catchphrases that I like to use rather than just words. And they’re usually a translation from Tamil to English, so they sound a little bit weird in English. Or maybe that’s just me overthinking it. Some of my favorites are, “we’ll see”, “it’ll be okay”, and “thanks to God’s good karma”. Yeah.. the last one is weird in English.

33. What’s the oldest age you’d date?

22.

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date?

18. 

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you?

I have no clue, tbh.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Is kpop a genre?

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be?

Switzerland!

38. What is your current favorite song?

f(x)’s 4 walls. And Dean’s Too Much.

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since December 2015.

40. What are you excited for?

Finishing spring cleaning and getting into the groove of this new schedule!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener, I think. I’m not sure. I think I’m bad at both.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Sort through all my damn clothes and set aside some for charity.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I don’t celebrate Christmas. Some people will wish me to have a blessed Christmas but I don’t celebrate it at all.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Math courses, I think?? IDK

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now?

A 4. I’m kinda stuffed up due to spring allergies, and I’m feeling some guilt from procrastinating on reading...

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Probably working at a company with a family. 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

In high school, at age 15. 

48. At what age do you wanna be married?

Somewhere between 23 and 26! Yeah sure that may be young but I’d rather have kids before 30. My family has a history of reproductive issues and all my older female relatives have had hysterectomies. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be a vet!

50. What do you crave right now?

For my headache to go away.

I’m gonna tag @myforeverforlife and @trishmarieco and @littlepcy and @littlebeckybee and whoever else wants to do this!

[chelsorz07]

I posted these as asks four years ago and never got to answer any so

THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE SEEING THESE FROM ME, DIDN’T YA? Me too, I’m so sorry

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair.

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? I have like two cups of coffee a month but have only drank booze twice in the past year so coffee I guess.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Many times.

4. Do you plan outfits? Sometimes I’ll want to wear a specific shirt but it’s rarely ever clean and I never pick out clothes sooner than right before my shower.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Tired but I still have to put the garbage out before I can go to bed and my neck and knees are killing me so I can’t get off the couch. But I’m in an okay mood.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? Throw pillow.

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? Idk I’d like to say I’d be a badass about it but honestly I’d probs scream.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I legit don’t remember. I dream every night but they usually fly right out of my head when I wake up.

9. Three of your current feelings? Tired, hungry, in pain. 

10. What are you craving right now? Cheeseburger and onion rings.

11. Turn ons? Um...intelligence, wit, shoulders, eyes, ginger beards.

12. Turn offs? Arrogance, chauvinism, people who don’t like cats.

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Coleslaw.

14. When was the last time you cried? Why? I was doing a concert in my living room last night, as I often do, and some of the songs got me a little emosh.

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? Black Widow or Loki.

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? No but she did change the way she treated me so I’m taking that for what it is.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I don’t eat ice cream because it hurts my teeth no matter which method of eating I use.

18. Favorite movie ever? Bring it On.

19. Do you like yourself? Depends on the day. Actually it changes even more frequently than that.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity? Many. None will top Jensen Ackles though. Well. Except Misha. Note the double entendre lol

21. Could you handle being in the military? I definitely could not. I’m also too old to enlist even if I wanted to.

22. What are you listening to right now? Walking Dead, season 1 episode 2. Because every time I start the series over, I pick up from episode 3 since I don’t really care about anyone but Daryl until Jesus happens. But today I felt like a refresher from the beginning.

23. How many countries have you visited? I went to Canada once.

24. Are your parents strict? They were while I was being raised. Then my little sister had like no rules.

25. Would you go sky diving? No way.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Hell yeah.

27. Whats on your mind right now? I’m really just trying to gather the motivation to get up and pee, then take the garbage out so I can go to sleep.

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? Ehh not really.

29. Have you ever been in a castle? No but I would tour the shit out of some if I had the opportunity.

30. Do you rent movies often? Almost never because who does that anymore? But we did just rent Mile 22 from the Redbox a few weeks ago. It was pretty meh for Wahlberg.

31. Whats your zodiac sign? Leo.

32. When was the last time you had sex? A month ago. Purely by circumstance. My husband is currently on week four of a five week work rotation in Texas.

33. Name five facts about yourself. Lord. I have rapidly deteriorating joints and it fucking hurts everywhere all the time. I’ve spent the past 48 hours going back through my entire tumblr, over 300 pages. I only make homemade mac n cheese, not boxed. I’m almost finished rereading every Desus fic on AO3 for the second time (some more than two but I mean going through literally every page). One of my cats is sitting above my head and purring really loudly and another is sitting to my left snoring.

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? Got caught driving in a blizzard. Spun off the road several times, including once off of an on-ramp. Like do not enter, wrong direction. If I hadn’t made it to the hotel right next to the on-ramp I really would’ve been fucked.

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? Not really.

36. Brown or white eggs? White.

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Most of my material possessions are from the hot topical, yes. Clothes, jewelry, funkos, makeup, miscellaneous other merch. It’s like a lot.

38. Ever been on a train? I have not.

39. Ever been in love? I am.

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? I hate this question. Of course I want a million dollars. But I’ve always wanted to stay in a haunted house anyway.

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? JJ Ackles. Except that I wouldn’t wish my life on her. Can we just be siblings instead?

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? I’m already attractive. And my life expectancy isn’t that high as it is.

43. Whom do you admire and why? My husband because he does crazy shit like work 35 days in a row when he’s only supposed to work 14 just to make sure all our bills are paid and we have savings because I’m too crippled to work at all right now.

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? I didn’t get bedtime stories.

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? I am literally capable of doing nothing, except maybe let her use my phone to call 911 if she hasn’t already.

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? No. I can’t even choose my own profession.

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? Idk about best but my most recent one was pretty good. I hadn’t had alcohol in over a year but a few weeks ago my sister turned 21 and we had family game night at my parents’ house so I got a little buzzed on some grapefruit White Claws and for about four hours I wasn’t in physical pain. Plus we all had a really good time just hanging out and playing games and everybody got along. That has 100% never happened in my family before. Also the last time I smoked weed, which was MANY years ago, like 6 or 7, it had the same effect and reduced my joint pain.

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? Worst with drugs was the night I smoked an entire joint just in my living room alone and it must have been strong shit because I threw up immediately. Worst experience drinking was probably all of 2010.

50. As you’re walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? Probs I’m desperate and not that great of a person.

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? Yes? WTF kind of question is that? It’s 2019, AIDS isn’t cooties.

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? Depends what kind of pistol. If it’s a revolver you can see the rounds in the barrel. 

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 20.

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? Nope. Well I still haven’t ruled out ghosts but I also know how to dispatch them so.

55. If you could live forever, would you want to? HELL naw.

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? Janice Ian.

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? We love a renaissance.

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Probably.

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Not even for like a day.

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? Yes. I want a girl. Come for me.

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? I want that money beech.

[feuqueerfire]

Love and Leashes Live Blogging

I've heard it's wholesome and cute despite the subject matter + the femdom piqued my interest, so I'm giving it a watch despite the clip I saw on Twitter with the barking that kinda put me off (just not my thing).

Aug 30

Oh, the Korean title is 모럴센스 since is Moral Sense transcribed in Hangul

Office culture vibes killing me in the first few minutes already rip the sexism and being chill with homophobia

lol the mother talking about how a girl shouldn't confess first because men used to hunt and have the instinct to hunt/dominate. oh ma'am if you only knew what this movie was about

I like how steadfast and stoic Jiwoo is

In English Jung Jihoo (male) and Jung Jiwoo (female) sound similar but the w and h look quite different. In Korean, the spelling is even more similar 지후 and 지우. Jihoo just has that little hat

ngl wasn't expecting the finding a collar and a leash and a kink magazine before the 10 minute mark but this is fun

Yknow what I was expecting this Jihoo guy to be very endearing from the smiley poster of him I saw and so far, he really is

Ooh, I was wondering if she wasn't gonna think he's the dom since he's a man + the magazine had maledom. Seems like she does from this fantasy trance

HER MOTHER SEEING HER OUTSIDE THE KINK STORE i'd pass away right there

Jihoo's so clumsy ahh accidental text but he's so akldjf freaking awkward, the secondhand embarassmenttt

oh my goddd he misunderstood Jiwoo as saying she's also into BDSM and the way he's reacting is embarrassing enough but he just said "tbh, I could sense that from you" and I'm alkdjf why would you sayyy that. omg he just offered himself up :0

noooo Jiwoo's trying to not be overly nice to Jihoo even though she likes him and is also deeply annoyed by their sexist boss (mans is literally being patronizing to ppl like as a man, you should know how to grill and as a woman, you should know how to cut fruits to find a husband) but Jihoo thinks she's muttering about him instead of the terrible boss

nooo him crying because he likes her and thinks she finds him annoying :((( Anyway, I guess he's casually asking her to be his master (in a pure/innocent way lol) because he's so drunk

At the workplace? :0

the umbrella trope instead of showing chivalry/"as a man, I'll provide" displaying "how sincere [Jihoo] is to serve [Jiwoo] as [his] master" is so good. I was anticipating it when I saw the rain outside but klasdfj yay

30 mins

is this video planting the seed for a future conflict where they'll want both a BDSM and romantic relationship

foot kissing !! my love. I loved it in Why R U because it was kind of a submissive move from Fighter despite the fact that they weren't dom/sub but this time it acc is in a BDSM context. it's a fantasy I think but still

omg during their workplace blindfold interaction I was hoping she'd caress his hair but she finally did it here in the fantasy

ohhhh it wasn't just Jiwoo's fantasy but Jihoo's too

He's sooo endearing "Punish me? :D" "Why do you look so excited?" "O.O no not at all, I'm not"

I'm slightly confused about this rule that's like can't terminate contract without other's permission or whatever?? It shouldn't need both people to agree to terminate the contract, one person wanting to back out should be enough

Him tryna reassure her like "No touch. I don't have any naughty desire toward you :)" about sex but her being like hmph -_-

Bro they're gonna have their first scene and I'm so nervous/excited and Jihoo is too, idk how Jiwoo's keeping calm rn lol

Okay, pause before the scene actually because it's 12am and I have to be up at 8:15 tomorrow, so goodnight for now, to be finished tomorrow. Got to 37:15

Aug 31

i know he's gonna bark, do I watch or skip

Okay I muted it and skipped a bit (I know she gave him treats out of his hand), I just really don't like watching dog play stuff

omg terrible ass time, sucks that their first scene went like this

Him wearing the glasses was throwing me off, is this different than the ones she gave him for when he needed her orders?

Anyway watching het stuff is wild because I can just say he and she without specifying lol

Her saying "Does it hurt a lot?" when stepping and him saying "It's killing me" is a lot

I like how she also fantasizes about stepping on him

The scenes of them doing stuff at night in between the splices of them at the office during the day is so short but I still keep skipping the nsfw stuff, I think I can only handle watching a specific amount of live action nsfw stuff on specific days

You don't know how badly I want her to slap his face, that's a scene I def wouldn't skip

I read a spoiler that they get caught in the office and I don't know if it's about to happen now but I'm really nervous about it agh

okay, they didn't get caught

omg after Badhaai Do, this is the second piece of media this month that said "look down" while getting yelled at.

Oof, idk why it's taking me so long to finish this 2h movie but I'm at 1h 10

Sep 1

I'm freaking dead actually for real they're not only handcuffing themselves to each other in public, someone she knows (Hyemi) is spotting them T.T

okay whew bullet dodged For Now, miss girl got distracted

feeding :)

oh yeah, I read something about there being a terrible dom as well

naurrrr everything going wrong because of their handcuffs, I don't wanna watch T.T I hate public humiliation sm

k it was a small commotion, they glossed over it quickly

nooo seeing Hye Mi be like self-defense and clever while defeating the rapist mans but then breaking down in the car afterwards T.T + Saying there'd be no use going to the police and that she didn't actually take compromising pics of him like she said because it'd make her as bad as them

She calls him 정대리님, I was wondering what that ending particle was and google says it's just like "deputy" which I don't quite understand. I guess I'd learn if I watched more office kdramas

Ooh, nice juxtaposition of her cleaning and preparing the ropes while he bakes a treat for their scene

1h 33m O.O I wasn't expecting the face slapping but it did !!!!!

rip the last play ending on a sour ass note

naurrrrrrrrrr not the office finding out ?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! I knew they got caught but somehow to me that meant one supervisor found out and reprimanded them, not the mentee accidentally sending a recording to their whole fucking office gbye

the urge to just stop watching and watch later is so strong but i also wanna just get it over with omg like it's not even real why does fictional public or second-hand embarrassment affect me so much

I'm sat here all torn like okay I'm glad he's confessing his feelings but it's during a disciplinary meeting due to them having a scene at their office ummmm

Them smiling at each other in the elevator, I'll combust

Also, Hye Mi is so fucking beautiful like I didn't say so but wowie wow wowowowwow the most beautiful person in the movie

Jiwoo and Jihoo's biggest kink out of all the ones explored is 100% doing things in public

was not expecting this last minute barking T.T they're freaking cute though

Fun show, Jiwoo and Jihoo were endearing, and it was curious to see BDSM get explored outside of like the fics I've read over the years. They shallowly explored a whole lot of different aspects of the relationship without actually showing much or being titillating, was a rather tame but fun movie and it worked well for me because I don't really like watching NSFW sexy scenes in live-action stuff. Also, Hye Mi was so beautiful.

Some things made me uncomfortable but that was mostly my own issues (except that throwaway line about both people needing to agree to terminate the contract, I didn't like that). Most things I didn't like could be forgiven due to the fact that they gave me a guy getting his face slapped during an nsfw scene.

Rating: 6.5/10