#anyways hes so handsome and sm so toxic

[yunogf]

taeyong looks so good

[rosenclaws]

obsessed with your ex || Worst!Logan Howlett smut

summary: In his world you were his wife and he loved you and then you died. In this world you're his girlfriend and he loves you. At least you think he does. Still you can't help the voice in the back of your head telling you that you're nothing but a sad replacement.

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI!! 18+ ONLY. insecure + jealous!reader, a very very toxic mindset, the reader's mind is very mean to her, reader is a mutant that can make objects disappear, angst, happy ending, rough sex, riding, french kissing, oral (f!receiving), a slight breakdown, soft sex, missionary, Logan is kinda a softie, cockwarming, fingering.

wc: 2.5k

a/n: Okay so it's here!! I need to make this clear that the readers mindset is NOT healthy and that relationships need good communication. That being said here's my fic idea that I've been thinking about for a bit. I love Olivia Rodrigo sm (I even saw her in concert!!) and this song was just begging to be written into a fic. Anyways I really hope you like it and that it's not too insane lmao. Also i made the graphic but i kinda hate it but i dont wanna change it so here we are I know it's ugly but its FINE

How long have you been here? Staring. Observing every little thing about you. Your nose, your eyes, your lips, your hair, your chin. The way your arms fall by your sides. Every. Little. Detail.

Did she have the same colored eyes? Did she talk like you? Was she smart? Was she powerful? Did he look at her the same way? Did he fuck her like he fucks you?

You clench your fists as you stare angrily at the mirror. He loves you. He says he loves you and yet it feels like you can never compare to her. She was the love of his life. She was an X-Men. She died. She was you. You're his dead fucking wife in his universe while you were nothing to the Logan in this one. 

He looked at you like a kicked puppy that first day you met. A lost little pet that had been searching for its owner. Dragged through hell and back just to get to you. It was easy to fall for him. Handsome, a little rough around the edges. You hadn’t even been dating for that long but it didn’t matter right? He worshiped you. He loved you. He promised he loved you.

But sometimes in the back of your head you wonder if when he's kissing you, does he imagine her? Does he close his eyes while he's pounding into you and imagine it's her? How could you ever compete? She was perfect, she was kind, she was everything to him. Spiraling deeper and deeper into a whirlpool of doubt and envy. There's a heavy pounding on the door but you choose to ignore it. Too wrapped up in your twisted mind to care. 

"Sweetheart, let me in." Logan's gruff voice was slightly muffled by the door. 

You clench your jaw as you finally tear your eyes away from the mirror. You slam open the door taking Logan by surprise. His eyes scan yours for injury, a worried look in his face as he steps into the bathroom. 

"I got worried, you were in here a long time." His arms wrap around your waist. 

He's looking at you with pity. At least that's what your brain tells you. Was he worried that you were hurt because he loves you or because he was thinking of her death again? You know he still dreams of her. He can hide it when he's awake but the nightmares don't lie. It hurts so bad. Love me. Love me. You're jealous you know. She's dead, she's gone. So why can't he love you. You push him off and storm out the bathroom. Nothing makes sense anymore in your head. 

"What the fuck?" Logan follows you and you feel yourself tensing up. 

It's a miracle your powers haven't started to go haywire yet. So many different emotions swirl around in your head until it mixes together to form one single feeling.

Need.

You grab Logan's shirt and pull him into you. Smashing your lips onto his with a hunger that you've never felt before. Logan hisses as you bite his bottom lip harshly but you don't give him time to say anything as you slip your tongue into his mouth. He groans as he starts to take some control back. Hands slipping up your shirt and ripping to shreds with ease.

You pull back from his lips, chest heaving for air as you paw at his shirt. Silently demanding he take it off which he happily does. Your lips are back onto his in an instant. He slowly walks you back until you fall onto the bed. You fall onto the bed and lick your lips. The bugle in his pants is evident as you flick your hand and the belt disappears. 

"I liked that belt." You pay no mind to his comment as you unbutton his jeans and pull them down, leaving him in his boxers. 

"Easy there sweetheart," Logan pushes you back gently and crawls on top of you. Logan kisses down your chest, teasing each nipple with his tongue. 

"Let me take my time." He purrs.

His hands touch and squeeze your breasts roughly making you whine. You watch his arms move, god he's so hot. He's close to making you forget. He kisses down, down, all the way down. He sneaks out the tip of his claws to pop open the button of your pants and he yanks them down until they're all the way off.

"There she is, my perfect girl." His girl. That's right your his girl. No one else's.

Logan pulls your panties to the side as he situates himself between your legs. He stuffs his face without shame, licking hungrily and practically moaning at the taste. You arch your back as Logan devours you. Watching his back muscles move are mesmerizing. He's yours. He loves you. He promises he does.

You can't stop the thoughts that begin to invade you. Overwhelmed by pleasure from Logan and pain from the horrible ideas that pop into your head. Did he do this with her too? Did he worship her? Do you taste like her? Is that why he can't get enough? 

"Fuck!" You hiss as you sit up and tell Logan to stop. He does immediately, wondering what the hell is going on. 

"Can't fucking wait." You scratch down his chest with your nails. He groans and tries to crawl on top of you but you shake your head. 

"I'm going to ride you until you can't come anymore." You growl.

You bite his shoulder harshly making him hiss. It heals right up much to your dismay. How badly you wish you could mark him. You make his boxers disappear but before he can make a smart comment you sink down on him all the way. You whimper as you start to bounce on his cock. Loving how much he fills you.

You need to be fucked stupid. You're desperate for Logan to fuck every bad thought out of your head. To promise that he loves you so that you can believe him. You want to believe him. Please, you have to believe him. 

"Sweetheart." Logan's breath is labored as you relentlessly fuck yourself on his cock. You feel so damn good but fuck he can tell something is on your mind. 

"What do you need, let me help you." He sits up on his hands, placing one on your back as he tries to get you to slow down. His words make you want to scream. What do you need? You look at him and the only thing your rotten brain can tell you is that he is thinking of her. 

"I need you to fucking love me!" You yell.

The dam of built up feelings breaks down as tears pour out of your eyes. Ugly, horrible sobs that make your body shake. Logan watches with horror in his eyes as he stills your hips, using his strength to lift you off of him as you continue to cry. 

"I do love you." He says softly but you shake your head. 

"No!" You shout. You pound your fist against Logan's chest over and over again but he barely moves. 

"You love her! I know you do." Logan's heart breaks at the sound of your sobs. 

"I'm not your dead fucking wife Logan!" You should regret the words coming out of your mouth but you can't stop them. 

"You look at me and you see her. Like I'm just some fucking placeholder!" You let out an anguished scream as Logan captures your wrists in his hands. You know the stories. She was a hero, she was perfect in every single way. 

"How can I compete with, with her?" You say completely defeated.

Your head falls against his chest. There's a sense of relief that washes over you. Thoughts that have plagued you for months are finally out in the open. Yet the fear of what comes next overtakes any other feeling.

"Look at me." Logan tilts your head up but you push his hand away. 

"Sweetheart." He sighs and lets go of your face.

Logan's never been good at this. Talking. Being vulnerable. Then he lost everything and he hardened even more and he just. This was a new chance at life and even though it's hard he can't lose it all again. 

"I know you're not her. Of course I do." Logan presses his forehead against yours, trying to get you to look at him. 

"You loved her..." You croak out. 

"I did love her. She was my wife. But I love you too. In a different way." He's a different man. Having gone through tremendous loss. It shaped him into who he is now. 

"You're different people. Your powers act differently, you talk differently, you feel different. You are not a replacement." He says firmly. 

When you finally look at him he feels this horrible pit in his stomach. He wipes away your tears but doesn't make any other move. It's not the right time.

"Would you have even given me a second thought? If I didn't look like her?" You ask, that question has haunted you for a while now but you never asked, too afraid of the answer. Logan is silent, unsure of how to answer. 

"When I first saw you it was like a punch in the face." He starts. "For a moment I was 20 years in the past. Then I snapped out of it. You look like her, yes but you’re not her.” He gently traces a small scar on your jaw that you got when you were a child. 

“I’m not the same as your Logan right? He was a leader, a hero and I was an angry drunk murderer.” 

“I’m not gonna start listing all your fucking differences sweetheart, but I swear on my life that I love you for you.” He pulls you into a tight hug as you start to cry again. You cling onto him as tight as you can. The bad thoughts don’t just stop, even if you want them to but Logans whispering sweet words in your ear. Pushing out every bad thought for now.

“Logan,” You take a deep breath, letting Logan invade all your senses. Tobacco and whiskey. 

“I need you.” He’s hesitant, not sure if it’s the right time.

“Please, I just need you.”

“Okay sweetheart, you have me.” He slowly rolls you over and lays you on your back.

He captures your lips into a kiss. His hips rolling slowly making you moan softly. His lips drift from your lips to the corner of your mouth to your cheek, trailing down. Each one so gentle, so full of love.

“You have this spot, righttt here.” Logan nibbles on your neck and you gasp when bites right at this spot that drives you wild. You melt into the mattress as he kisses over it.

“Always makes you relax.” He crawls lower, kissing down your body. He sits up on his knees and grabs a pillow to place under your back.

“I know you like to be slightly elevated because it means I can go just a little deeper.” He purrs as he takes his cock in his hands and gently rubs the tip of it along your folds. He slides two fingers into your cunt slowly.

“Know that my fingers drive you absolutely wild, that you need me to go slow to start.” You nod absentmindedly.

You never realized he picked up on all these things. His fingers start to slide in smoother, your cunt getting wetter for him. He leans down and takes a deep breath, groaning at the scent. He slips them out and licks them clean.

“Relax sweetheart,” He spreads your thighs and slips in all the way. Going slow but unrelenting, stretching you just how you like.

“So impatient, you never let me take it easy on you right? Just wanna be full all the time.” He leans down on his elbows as he rolls his hips nice and slow.

There will be no rough sex this time, this is about love. To show you that he truly does love you for you.

“Look at me,” He tilts your head so that your eyes meet. He smiles at the desperate look on your face.

“You can pretend it makes you all embarrassed, but I know you like eye contact.” He hums as he angles his hips so that he hits that perfect spot.

You jolt as pleasure rocks through your whole body but he keeps you under him. He’s slowly and methodically tearing you apart. Every touch, every word out of his mouth just makes it better. He knows. Of course he does.

“I love you Logan.” Your hands cup his face as you stare into his hazel eyes.

This time not filled with lust, but with a true deep love. He looks at you like you’re everything.

“I love you too.” He kisses you as he starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts. He smirks as he feels you start to squirm under him. You could never help it when you were close.

“Come on sweetheart, just let go.” He whispers in your ear.

His deep voice paired with the unrelenting feeling of his cock is all it takes. He holds you in his firm arms as a warm and wonderful tingling sensation runs through your whole body. A blissful smile on your face as you tilt your head back.

You feel your whole body relax as your mind calms. Logan tries to hide his growls as he fucks into you a little faster, until he’s coming hard and deep inside of you. He sighs in contentment as he stays inside of you. He taps your cheek lightly and you look up at him.

“I love you. No one else. Just you.” He moves to pull out but you whine. You need to be close to him right now. He chuckles as he slowly moves to your side. Spooning you tightly with his cock still deep inside of you.

“Can we talk?” You ask shyly.

“About what?” Logan grunts as he pulls you as close as he can get you.

“Anything?” He’s not much of a talker so he asks the questions instead.

How did you discover your powers? How did you meet wade? Just anything and everything and you tell him.

You talk for who knows how long. Staying wrapped in each other's arms. It helps, it really does. Logan listens, he really does listen. He wants to get to know you. He loves you. You rest your head on his chest, tracing shapes into his palm as you talk.

For the first time in a while your mind seems to settle. Ignoring any thought that may try and ruin your mood. It’s just you and him right now. There’s no looming figure of your alternate selves, not anymore.

Just you and Logan. Forever.

[coryothesub]

I became obsessed with Billie Eilish's "the diner" and now I couldn't stop thinking about what Coryo would be like as the stalker described in that piece of musical art.

Although it took me a million years to get around to writing this, I absolutely love this ask because it finally gave me the opportunity to explore a darker side of sub Coryo. I know the boy's unwell but I still love him sm, poor poor baby!!! Also the ending is a bit sad, but it's not as half as tragic as the initial version that I had planned for this story

nsfw / mdni / stalker!sub!coryo / dom!reader / toxic relationship / a bit of violence / nothing more I can think of

Your phone buzzed again and it made you jump a little. You had the late shift at the diner that you were working at so you had to stay after closing time to do some cleaning and deal with the accounting. 

You knew you could easily get fired for that but you had already had three shots from the vodka bottle and now you were about to take the fourth. It would be fine. You would replace the missing vodka with water and no one would notice. You really needed this after all. After finding out that he had been released from jail today. Would he actually obey the restraining order? The chance was slim to none.

You had met him right here, six months ago. 

“Coriolanus Snow,” he had introduced himself, flashing a big white teeth smile at you.

You would be lying if you said you didn't have a little crush on him when he started coming here. He was tall and handsome, always well dressed, his angelic face was neatly surrounded by his platinum blonde curls and those icy blue eyes, you felt like you could drown in them easily.

He started coming every day, and your coworkers had already nicknamed him “Coryo” on those occasions when they didn't call him your boyfriend. He was always charming and polite, he never overstepped your boundaries. Until he did…

You gave him your number yourself and then the messages started to arrive. Thousands of them. In his mind you two were in a relationship. You were his girlfriend, his fiancee, mother of his future children. He kept asking you about the wedding, had you already chosen the dress, what color it would be, what was your favorite flavor for the cake, whether you preferred a live band or a DJ.

“Coriolanus, this needs to stop!” one morning you hissed through your teeth while taking his breakfast order. He didn't seem to even hear you, he just kept talking about your beautiful life together and how you should stop working at the diner since he was able to provide for you.

You had told your boss numerous times that you couldn't work like this, and after many pleas he finally ordered the security guard not to let Coryo in despite the regular revenues he was bringing to the establishment.

Starting from that day he was just standing outside. Looking sad and confused, large tears running down his cheeks when he managed to catch your look through the window.

Then he was also standing outside your house. Your nearest grocery store. The bar you frequented with your friends. Until one day you found a vase full of fresh white roses. In your bedroom. There was no card, but you knew it was him. It happened again next week, and the week after that…

Why didn't you call the police? You did, numerous times, but the thing was that Coryo had never laid a finger on you. You couldn't prove that it was him who kept leaving the roses in your house. And standing on public land outside someone's property wasn't considered a crime.

The officers just brushed off your concerns and suggested you to change your number. But what about changing your workplace? And your home address? And even if you did all that, what if he found you anyways?

“How’s my queen doing today?” He approached you one day when you were getting inside your car after your shift.

“I just wanted to tell you that our wedding will happen on December 13. Since you didn't respond about the dress, I chose it and ordered it to be delivered to your house.”

“Coryo, please, just stop!” You lashed out at him, not being able to contain your emotions any more.

“We’re not in a relationship! We never have been! Just leave me alone!”

“I don't understand…” he looked puzzled and miserable. “But what about the wedding?”

“The wedding is canceled!” you decided to play along just as much as it would hopefully get to his deranged mind.

“No, wait, you have to explain…” for the first time ever he grabbed you by the hand, his blue eyes cold and filled with primal rage. Cold shivers ran down your spine. Could he actually be able to physically hurt you?

“Are you okay, Miss?” Some guy was just getting out of the car near you. “Is he bothering you?”

You felt too scared to even open your mouth and the stranger could probably sense the dread running through your every bone.

“Hey buddy, just let her go, okay?”

“Is this him?” Coryo yelled at you in jealous rage. “Is this the guy you’re sleeping around with? Is this the reason you're canceling the wedding?”

“Man you have clearly lost your marbles,” the helpful stranger tried to stand between you two. “Just go home and sleep off whatever you're on right now, okay?”

The next few moments were a total blur for you. The sound of a fight, screams, blood, someone calling the police. That poor guy ended up with a broken jaw. He pressed charges and Coryo was finally arrested.

You were still a bit salty that it didn't happen because of your complaints. But at least you got a restraining order. And he was out of your life. Or so you thought.

Earlier that day you had found out he’d got out on bail. Accompanied by an order to get a mandatory psychiatric treatment. But you suspected a psychiatrist wouldn't be the first person he’d look for.

After taking another shot you went to the toilet and messaged one of your friends asking to pick you up. It took all your willpower to ignore the countless messages from an unknown number until the last one came in. It was so short that you managed to see the whole text during the short moment while the notification popped up on your screen.

“I'm here, queen.”

Your heart dropped. What were you supposed to do? Call the police? But what if he was bluffing? What if “here” meant some other place? What if it wasn't even him? You had a new number, he probably did too, you had no proof unless you went out there to check.

You took a deep breath and opened the toilet door. The guest hall was empty and quiet. You couldn't see any people or vehicles outside in the parking lot. You let out a deep sigh of relief. And then you saw it. A single white rose laying on the counter.

Before your panic managed to kick in, you heard a familiar voice behind you. 

“You look so beautiful, my queen.”

You turned around and faced the man before you. Nothing much had changed, he had got a bit skinnier and apparently they had buzzed off his hair in jail. But his baby blue eyes had that same desperate glow.

“H-how did you get in?” You took a step back almost unknowingly.

“I let myself in through the kitchen door,” Coryo replied, he sounded chillingly calm. “My cellmate was a burglar and he taught me a thing or two about locks.”

He made a few steps closer to you and you could feel his hot, unsteady breath on your face. You just froze in place, afraid to even move.

“They let me out today, you know…”

“Yeah,” you replied in a nervous, high pitched tone, taking a quick look at your phone. “I figured that from the 453 messages you sent me today.”

The corner of Coryo's lip curled up in a small smile. 

“Yeah, it was quite a challenge to find out your new number, I had to pay someone and I spent every last dime I had left after paying that 250 000 dollar bail. But I memorized it right away, now I can reach from anywhere any time… I shouldn't have done that you know, but I just couldn't resist. I had to see you one last time.”

That last sentence hit you like a rock. One last time? What the hell did he mean by that? Did he have some insane murder suicide plot in his mind? You realized that you should have called the police when you had the chance, but now it was probably too late. He would just grab that phone right out of your hand.

“C-coryo?” You said, voice trembling. “Are you going to hurt me?”

His eyes widened at your question, making you fear that you had fetched him the idea even if it hadn't been on his mind before.

Suddenly he sank to his knees in front of you, hugging your leg with his cold, slender fingers. His grip wasn't too tight, but you were petrified nonetheless.

“I would never lay a finger on you, my queen,” he looked up at you, his blue eyes clear as day. He sounded so genuine that you felt a pang of embarrassment from your own suspicious thoughts. But could you really blame yourself? He was your stalker who was clearly breaking the law right now.

“What do you want then?” You asked quietly, looking down at the young man at your feet.

“I just want to tell you… I need you to know that now I understand. I know you didn't cancel the wedding because of that guy or anyone else. I know it was my own actions, my own devotion, which didn't let me give you enough space. I have nothing left. No money, no friends, no dignity. My love for you is all that I have…”

You heard his voice cracking and large tears were streaming down his face, falling on the floor beneath you. He looked so defeated, so miserable, so pathetic. It was incredibly sad. But also kinda arousing. You hated your own body for the thoughts that were currently running through your head, but it didn't seem like a taboo any more, it was almost like an act of charity…

“Shhh, Coryo…” you whispered, your hand gently caressing his buzzed head.

He swallowed thickly letting out a few more sobs and you felt his lips touching your knee. His touch was so soft and delicate, the warmth of his lips mixed with the cold tears still running down his face.

“Please,” he looked up at you again, his eyes red and glossy. “Please, I need you. I have completely destroyed myself by falling under your spell, but I still need you so badly…”

Your thumb traveled down his forehead, gently caressing his cheek and somehow you found yourself pushing it into his warm wet mouth, his eyes closing immediately and his lips suckling on your digit blissfully.

He was looking at you with a silent plea and you nodded quietly, giving him the long awaited approval.

Coryo let your thumb out of his mouth with a silent pop and started planting soft kisses above your knee. You let out a small gasp as his lips traveled up your thigh. It was no point denying how much you liked it, the wetness in your panties would eventually give you away.

His buzzed head dove under your uniform dress and you felt his warm soft lips on your inner thighs. Damn it, this felt too good.

Coryo tugged at the waistband of your panties, he seemed to be hesitating for a moment but the way you were pressing your thighs together not to give away your treacherous wetness seemed to convince him and he pulled your panties down slowly, revealing your wet cunt to his eyes.

You heard a soft gasp, the blonde boy sounded as if he had encountered something unspeakably wonderful just before his mouth attacked your pussy with insatiable hunger.

Your whole body shivered as he started planting wet kisses along your folds. Your wetness surely encouraged him and you felt his lips wrapping around your clit and sucking hungrily, while his tongue danced around your sensitive bud, causing a soft whimper to escape your lips.

“Oh Coryo,” you moaned his name, desperate for more sensation. “You”re good, so fucking good at this.”

He could hear a mix of surprise and sheer desire in your voice and it encouraged him to try even harder, sliding his tongue inside you and starting steady movements that simply drove you wild.

“Oh fuck, don't stop!” You moaned, grabbing his head instinctively and pushing him against your wet cunt, looking for a deeper contact. 

You looked down at his growing bulge, intrigued by how prominent it was. You’d always thought he must have been some creepy incel whose dick probably didn't work, but apparently everything was more than alright there.

Coryo kept tongue-fucking you, humming blissfully against your sensitive area, the soft vibrations sending you into sweet oblivion.

You were almost there, but it didn't feel right. You had already come this far and now you needed him all. You stepped back, making him whine at the loss of contact and tilted his chin up, pulling him back to his feet.

The boy looked simply delicious, desperately catching his breath, his face glistening with your juices. You grabbed his chin and looked deeply into his icy blue eyes.

“I need you to fuck me!”

Coryo was staring at you in disbelief, his brain clearly trying to process what you were asking. He was taken over by fear. Afraid to deceive that one person that he unconditionally adored.

“N-now?” He stuttered. “I don't know, I-I…”

“C’mon,” you gazed upon him with a shit eating grin, sitting back on one of the tables and opening your legs for him, putting your hungry little cunt on full display.

“I thought this was what you always dreamed of… Now don't be a little coward that throws it all away just when we've come so far huh…”

Coryo seemed to be waking up from his stupor, lustful glimmer filling his eyes as he glanced down upon you. It almost seemed like his baby blues had got a few tones darker while he was taking in the tempting sight.

He exhaled nervously and stepped closer to you, scrambling to undo his belt.

“C’mon, baby boy,” you leaned closer, grabbing at the outline of his rock hard cock and palming it through his jeans. “Mommy needs you so badly.”

He pulled out his dick, making you bite your lip at the sight. The boy was way above average, his cock was so long and handsome. Your pussy clenched around the empty nothingness from the sight alone.

Coryo lined himself at your entrance and slowly pushed himself in, watching your reaction carefully. You were almost touched by the caring expression on his face.

“Oh, Coryo, you're so big,” you moaned out, feeling his massive cock stretching you out.

“Are you comfortable?” The blonde man asked, securing your waist in a tight grip. 

“Uh-uh, just keep going!” You instructed, watching his face filling with amazement at how easily your impossibly wet cunt took his impressive length.

Coryo kept moving at a steady pace, watching you with sheer adoration. He couldn't believe that he was actually fucking you right now and it made you feel so damn good.

You enjoyed each and every of his thrusts, throwing your head back and letting out a series of small moans and whimpers.

“Faster!” You commanded breathlessly, pushing your hips towards his pelvis, desperate for more friction. Coryo's lips radiated a blissful smile as he kept watching you, his look wide-eyed and full of adoration.

He was now pounding you relentlessly enjoying the sounds you were making and the feeling of your tight wet walls clenching around him.

“Oh my goodness, such a good boy!” Your praises sounded like music to his ears as you rolled your eyes back feeling the velvety tip of his hard member hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.

Coryo groaned deeply lost in his own immense pleasure, lewd sounds you both were making filled the empty room.

“You're so perfect,” Coryo mumbled between moans and gasps, while you were meeting each and every of his thrusts eagerly, aching for your release.

“I love you,” he whispered, looking so damn genuine and vulnerable that you pulled him close instinctively, pressing your lips together in a passionate kiss.

He kissed you with pure hunger and despair, whispering ridiculous love confessions against your lips. Along with his relentless thrusts it brought you over the edge and you came all over his cock with a desperate moan, your cunt clenching around him.

It almost seemed like it was too much for him to take and he exploded in an earth shattering orgasm, filling your cunt with a load of hot cum. His eyes bursted into tears, his whole body was trembling in your arms.

You pulled him in a tight hug, pressing his head to your chest as you felt his movements slowing down gradually..

“I love you, I need you, fuck, this was so perfect,” Coryo’s fragile frame was shaking as he sobbed into your uniform dress, completely dazed by his own pleasure.

“It's alright baby,” you hummed. “I'm here, I'm holding you, it's okay.”

It took a good minute until he calmed down and wiped his nose with his hand. You watched him zip up his jeans as kept glancing over at you with a teary look. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but there was an eerie feeling lingering in the air.

“Thank you, my queen!” Coryo pressed another soft kiss to your lips. 

“I guess you're truly mine now,” a weird little smile crossed his face. 

You nodded faintly, starting to realize what you’d just gotten yourself into.

“And I'm always yours,” he said, caressing your cheek gently. You leaned into his touch, basking in his unconditional adoration.

Coryo took a few steps back, then walked over to the front door and let himself out. You watched him as he walked under the dim lights of the parking lot and then disappeared into the darkness.

You pulled your panties back up and grabbed your things, picking up the white rose from the counter almost instinctively and breathing in its alluring scent. You started to realize that you had probably just made the biggest mistake of your life. But for some reason it didn't feel wrong at all. 

You grabbed your keys and decided that you were gonna think this through tomorrow. Or at least after you’d receive an overjoyed text from Coryo.

But that text never arrived. You didn't hear from him again. And so did no one else in your town. Rumors started circulating after a while and you heard all kinds of stuff. That he had moved away. That he had taken his own life at a remote place and his body would never be found. Maybe he had found another object for his obsession. Or maybe he was finally happy somewhere far away, at least you hoped so.

You had no idea. But sometimes under the cover of darkness you opened your journal and looked at the single white rose that you had dried almost like a weird talisman. And then you couldn't help but think about that strange night at the diner. And about the young blonde man with icy blue eyes, secretly hoping that someday somehow you would see him again.

[maybaenk]

But I won’t stop until that boy is mine

Pairing: JJ Maybank x kook reader

Summary: Since the first time she had laid eyes on him, Y/N had sweared JJ Maybank would become hers, leading to a toxic and obsessive relationship between the two.

Warnings: cursing, smut, unprotected sex, slightly toxic relationship

She was watching him. She always was. Y/N had been utterly obsessed with JJ Maybank since she had first met him upon moving to Outer Banks.

She had been leaving the house, only a bikini and jeans shorts on to cover her toned body, when she had caught sight of the blond. He was mowing the lawn, a stained tank top on him, cargo shorts and working boots. Sweat made his prominent muscles slightly shine reflecting the hot summer sun. He was concentrated on the task, tongue showing between his lips. His chiseled features were perfect, everything about him was. He had a backwards cap on, which he took off to ruffle his hair with his hand before putting it back on and starting the machine again, his hands gripping it tightly as he began to push it forward. Y/N couldn’t help but notice the way his veins were displayed on his arms and hands under the strain of the machine.

Her eyes couldn’t leave his body, she had been entranced by him. This had been the most handsome boy she had ever seen. Without a doubt. And she had wanted him immediately.

When he had noticed her, Y/N had lowered her sunglasses on her nose to directly look into his slightly surprised eyes, briefly, before letting her own ones fall to his body, then she raised them back on her scrutinizing eyes and didn’t spare him another glance, passing him to leave to the beach without a word.

He had stared at her the whole time she had walked to the gate, mind blank.

She hadn’t expected it would have taken a hot guy working for her father to shut her up about having to move.

Her house was in Figure Eight, her father being an important doctor while her mother a known lawyer. They had decided to move there after her mother had spent nearly a month there to work on a case she had been called for. She had left enamored with the place, and finally had convinced her husband to take a look at houses there since they had been planning on moving anyway. It had also helped she had won the case she’d been there for to begin with, and had earned new potential clients among the Island; she was good at her job and knew it, her thirst for success and money had prodded her even more.

Needless to say, Y/N had thrown a tantrum. Her whole life had been in her old city. She hadn’t want to start over, not because she was in any possible way shy nor nervous, but rather because her friends had been there.

However, her parents had shut her up pretty quickly, threatening to cut access to all her credit cards. She was spoiled, even she admitted it. Nothing wrong with that. She had also loved the attention she got from being the victim, so she had stopped whining and rather started acting sad all the time. It had worked like a charm, seeing as her parents had filled her with gifts.

Y/N always got what she wanted. So when stumbling upon the boy her dad had hired to mow the lawn in her yard, she had immediately grown obsessed with him. She wanted him, so she would have him.

Simple as that.

“Do you know anything about a blond boy working around here?” She had asked Sarah, leaning on her palm while sipping a drink.

They had stopped at some fancy bar at the beach to cool off a bit, the hot sun beating down on them. Y/N had met Sarah during a dinner their parents had, quickly bonding with the bubbly blonde.

Sarah had raised her eyebrows in surprise, “Uhm, I dunno. Describe him?”

“Blond, tall, handsome. He was wearing a tank top and cargos. I don’t really know.” She shrugged, “Oh! A cap.”

Sarah had seemed to think about it, before showing her two pics on her phone. The first one had not been him, however upon taking a look at the second picture she had indeed recognized the blond. It had pictured a group of three boys on a small boat, all smiling and pouting finger guns at the camera. The one on the far left had been her target.

“Yeah. That’s him.” She gushed, leaning in to take a better look.

She had noted the username he had. JJ Maybank.

“So, JJ, huh?” Sarah had chuckled.

“He works for my dad.” Y/N had casually told her.

“Be careful, alright Y/N/N?” Sarah had suddenly turned serious, “He’s a pogue. Could cause some drama.”

Sarah had already explained to her how the social life worked on the island, however Y/N couldn’t have cared less. It all had seemed stupid to her.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be careful.” She had tilted her head, giving her a smile, “But I won’t stop until that boy is mine.”

The next time she had seen him was the weekend, at a bone fire her new friend, Lauren, had brought her to. She had gone to the keg to get some beer when she noticed the blond boy lingering by the station with some of his friends. He had been handing out red cups filled with beer by his brunet friend who stood next to him. Y/N vaguely recognized his friend by the pic.

When it had been her turn, she had spoken with a calm voice.

“Anything for me?” They had turned around, having been preoccupied with something a dark boy had told them, and JJ’s eyes had widened slightly upon recognizing her, quickly recomposing himself after.

“Sure.” The brunet had responded, filling up a cup for her. He too had checked her out, not so subtly.

“Thanks.” She had smirked, solely looking at JJ.

He had scanned her body, noting her little black tank top which almost spilled her tits out, showing a lot of them, and her black denim shorts. Her long legs had been on display. He had gulped, never having been so fucking attracted to someone. It didn’t help she was gorgeous too.

She had took the cup from his friend and turned around to leave. She had barely made a step when she heard his voice, “Wait.”

She had smirked in her cup, before turning around again, “Yeah?”

The blond had took a couple of steps towards her, now directly in front of her. She had now noticed his blue eyes.

“Y/L/N, right?” He smiled, and when she had nodded with a smile on her painted lips, he had went on, “I work for your father, I actually think it was you the other day, remember?”

“Yeah, I think I do remember you.” She had subtly smirked, a corner of her mouth slightly lifting up before she had let her eyes blatantly check him out.

He had raised an eyebrow, but couldn’t say anything because she had already turned around and walked away. He had looked back at John B, who had been looking shocked and mouthed, “Dude!”, before he had gone after her.

She had still been walking when he had caught up, a signature JJ Maybank smirk on his face knowing she had done this on purpose. She had wanted him to go after her, and he had done it, gladly. He had noticed the way he had checked him out at her house. This was her game. He had to catch her.

“I’m JJ.” He had spoken up, extending his arm in front of her so that she would have stopped walking. He had waited for her to shake his hand, she had only eyed it, before bringing her cup to her lips, JJ’s eyes following the motion.

“So the handsome guy working for me does have a name after all.” Her voice had been low and seductive, making JJ more and more attracted to her by the second. She had pretended to not know his name.

“I think he does, yeah.” He had further extended his hand now, his gaze firmly falling on it so she would have gotten the hint to shake it.

She had simply smiled, giving him her own manicured hand to shake. She had loved the feeling of their hands touching.

“Y/N.” She had stated, before turning around yet again, this time however turning her head back to hint at him to follow her.

That’s how things had started between them, and before they had known, later the same night, she had been on her knees in the sand giving him head while he had moaned her name. She hadn’t let him touch her, leaving him wanting more and more. He hadn’t gotten her number, only seeing her three days later while mowing her lawn. She had been on a deck chair getting tan when he had arrived, his breath getting caught at the sight.

Her ass had been on display, bikini top untied. The outline of her tits was clearly showing while she laid on her stomach with her top shoved under her breasts.

“Fuck.” He had whispered to himself, before getting to work, eyes never leaving her.

Cut to two hours later, they had been behind her house making out while she palmed him through his cargos. She had made him come with a handjob that day, and then had disappeared again leaving him to clean up after himself.

Next time they had seen each other, was at a party two days later. They had fucked in her car.

Needless to say, they had become obsessed with each other. That was her intention after all, having him wrapped around her finger. They weren’t together, no, circumstances had never let them have a chance to really talk about it nor care about it for now, but he was hers and she wouldn’t let not one of his many previous hookups, so she had been informed, get in her way.

This lead to the present, three months after, it was now August and full summer, days were spent tanning at the beach and partying with friends. Y/N had become pretty popular amongst kooks, irritating JJ quite often, this being on of the few reasons of their regular fights.

Tonight, they were at a keg on the beach. The weather was still hot despite the sun having set hours ago, a tiny shimmer of sweat was on her skin as she danced the night away with her friends, immersed in the mass of partying teenagers. Her boobs were spilling out of her tiny tank top, like they often did, her not caring at all about showcasing her goods, as was her ass through her too short shorts. It was making him crazy, it had all night. He was sitting on a log with his own friends and had been looking at her all night long, not missing the smirks and subtle look she had thrown him while swaying her hips to the music.

He laid his arms behind him on the log he was sat on and leaned back, eyes on her.

She was looking at him, she always was.

Y/N felt herself heating up just by the way he was looking at her laid back on that log, with his legs spread wide in front of him.

When John B whispered something in his ear, he averted his gaze from her. She turned back to her friends, a little disappointed. Sarah was beside her, laughing at something Lauren had told them. Minutes later, Sarah was nudging Y/N and motioning the direction JJ was in with her head to her. When she looked, a girl was next to JJ. She was a redhead and had a short dress on, showing her beautiful curves.

Y/N felt herself fuming. This was what JJ had turned away from her for?

She decided to let them have fun for some time. As if. JJ knew he was hers.

She kept dancing, and didn’t spare him a glance for the next twenty minutes, knowing she would be over there in a minute if she did.

A boy approached her, asking her for her name and she simply rolled her eyes, turning away. This made her face JJ again, who was looking at her and the boy. His eyebrow was raised at her, clearly irritated with the boy flirting with her. He knew she didn’t want any other guy. She had told him multiple times she didn’t care about other boys, bluntly confessing how he was the only one she wanted between her legs. This had made JJ all the more infatuated with her, he just couldn’t help himself. She was a fucking rich hot girl, clearly could have had anyone she wanted, yet decided he was the only one worthy of her time. Hadn’t he known her, he would have thought a girl like her would have wanted someone like her. A rich guy. She didn’t care about that in the slightest.

Everything about her drew him to her. She was the hottest chick he’d ever been with, and aside that, she was a fucking rollercoaster. She was unpredictable, funny, fucking smart, a bitch also — most of the time, and although not many people would believe him, he had seen how fucking good-hearted and gentle she was under her rich bitch façade.

Y/N Y/L/N had even told her parents about him. They had always been really supportive of her, always. They had spoiled her since her birth, so they wouldn’t certainly stop her from being with who she wanted. It also helped that JJ worked for her father, and he liked him. Her father came from a poor family, so he wasn’t a judging kook like most would expect. He appreciated the way JJ worked hard for his money. Her mom was a little more skeptical, but it took a quick chat in their yard while he was working to understand what her beloved daughter saw in him. Jennifer Y/L/N had always been her daughter’s best friend, there was no need for Y/N to hide things from her parents.

JJ had never been a relationship type, but sometimes he wished they could just get together, he knew he was faithful to her either way, and her to him, so what was the point? A part of him wanted to be with her, officially, the other was scared shitless.

He was still looking at them when she turned back to the boy, clearly seeing the opportunity in him to get back at JJ.

“It’s Y/N.” She smiled fakely before asking, “Wanna dance?”

His hands found her hips as they started dancing, a new song coming up.

“Don’t you wanna know my name?” He asked in her ear, she had her arms around his neck.

“No, shut up.” She deadpanned, shocking him slightly.

“But-“

Y/N turned around in his arms before he could finish just as the beat dropped, her back facing the boy’s front. Her hips were swaying to the music against his own, purposefully grinding on him while her y/e/c found JJ’s mad ones, a pissed off expression painted on his beautiful features, making him all the more attractive.

She smirked at him, taking the hands of the black-haired boy behind her and guiding them from her hips to her lower stomach. He didn’t object, probably to concentrated on the fact he was dancing with a hot girl to even care she had disregarded his advances like that. She kept dancing while JJ turned back to the conversation with the redhead. She observed them speaking, analyzing the way the girl interacted with him to guess if she was gonna make a move on him or not. She guessed she would, her eyes too entranced on his lips as he spoke to her. He came closer to her to whisper something in her ear before she put her hand on his leg.

Too much, baby. She thought.

“Sorry, have to go.” She dismissed the boy, entangling herself from his arms and taking a step towards the couple.

The poor boy was left gaping at her, a disappointed look on his face making a chuckle escape Lauren’s mouth.

“Y/N/N!” Sarah spotted her friend leaving and called her, reaching her to put a hand on her shoulder.

Her blonde friend had already realized what her intentions were.

She looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” She pleaded, before going back to her boyfriend Topper with a sigh when Y/N only smirked at her.

She headed straight to them, calmly walking to the logs JJ and the other pogues had been chilling on for the past hour.

As soon as she approached them, Kie rolled her eyes, “Here we go.” She annoyedly scoffed, sensing what was about to happen.

It wasn’t as Kie didn’t like Y/N. At first, yes, she hated her. When JJ had introduced her to the pogues the morning after having spent a night with him at The Chateau, Kie had immediately been annoyed with her and her ways, she couldn’t stand their toxic ‘relationship’. She wasn’t used to JJ being wrapped around a girl’s finger like that. All Y/N had to do was look at him to make him do anything she wanted. Kie couldn’t wrap her head around her best friend following some rich stuck up bitch’s orders, pussy whipped and all. Y/N had simply never cared about her comments and meaningful lectures to JJ, always coming back at her with sarcastic jokes;

“You’re just pissed ‘cause you wish it was you between my legs.”

“JJ, you never told me your mommy was so hot.”

“Wanna join us, Kie?”

“I love it when you get angry at me. Love that enemies to lovers shit.”

But then, between all of her joking and hugging her or showering her with kisses when she was mad at their toxic fights or behaviors, she had grown fond of her. She had learned to love Y/N, but was still totally annoyed by their ongoing toxicity.

The current events strongly emphasizing her point.

Kie’s comments got JJ’s attention, who understood straight away what was about to happen as well. He immediately looked at her, sitting up straight and detaching himself from the girl. His expression was silently pleading her to let it go.

She ignored it, directing her whole attention to the girl, who was looking at JJ with a confused expression, not understanding why he had moved away. She hadn’t noticed Y/N standing before them.

“So, JJ, what happened to yesterday’s one?” She spoke up, eyes on the girl, who now shifted her gaze on her with an even more confused expression.

“What?” She asked with a slightly pissed off tone in her voice.

Y/N was even more angry now that the bitch had an irritated look on her face, as if she was annoyed at her for interrupting their exchange.

JJ sighed softly, “What are you talking about, Y/N?”

She simply smiled.

“You know, the blonde one you were with yesterday.” She continued, “She was much prettier.”

“Damn.” John B snorted, quickly recomposing himself when Kie nudged him.

Him and Pope suppressed their snickers from beside them, only fueling the urge to go on in Y/N.

The redhead had a shocked look on her face. Almost humiliated.

“Asshole.” Was all the girl said to JJ before storming away.

JJ was left speechless, what had he done? It’s not like he had lead her on, or whatever.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” He got up, ready to start a fight.

This was ordinary for the pogues, so they just rolled their eyes while Pope tried to tell them to not start anything here.

“Seriously, too easy.” Y/N chuckled, threw him a deadly look and stomped away. Knowing he’d follow her.

“What the fuck was that, Y/N?” Came from behind her.

She could hear it in his tone he was fucking pissed. She didn’t stop, but rather sped up her pace through all the bodies of dancing teenagers to exit the mass of people.

“Seriously, Y/N. Stop.” He continued to follow her, raising his voice.

“Fuck you.” She threw back, while getting past a group of boys to get out of the crowd. One of them started calling her name, clearly in the mood for irritating her. She ignored him and kept walking until she was out of the dancing area, missing the deadly look JJ threw the guy. She sped up the beach towards the parking — or at least the area people parked in.

“I said stop, Y/N!” He screamed at her, still following her.

She stopped in her tracks abruptly, turning around to face him.

“You were there flirting with a bitch all night and still have the nerve to be mad at me?” She screamed at him, pointing her manicured finger at him.

He scoffed.

“I didn’t do anything, she was the one flirting with me.” He pointed out.

“And you let her.” She crossed her arms, staring him up and down with flames in her eyes.

JJ rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic chuckle.

“Fuck, Y/N. Do you hear yourself?” He shook his head, “And you were the one throwing yourself at that idiot, ass and all.”

Y/N just got more irritated, this fucking idiot.

“Yeah, after I saw you with her. To get back at you.” She admitted carelessly, turning around to get to her car.

Sometimes JJ was left stunned by the way she casually admitted things people would be embarrassed to say out loud.

She heard a sigh behind her.

“Where are you going?” He asked exasperatedly.

“Away from you.” She replied coldly, searching for her car keys in her purse while walking.

She was just a few feet from her car when he started walking after her again. She could hear his footsteps, so she sped her own step up to reach her car.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” She heard him say, “You’re right. ’m sorry, baby.”

She stopped walking and turned to look at him, who had now reached her and stopped in front of her.

“You are?” She tilted her head, studying him.

A calm expression took its place over the angry one she previously wore. She was examining his features, as if to search the honesty in his words in his eyes. She knew she had already forgiven him, JJ knew he was hers. He was just playing around.

“Of course I am. I shouldn’t have let her flirt with me. It was just someone John B introduced me to and she just stuck with me since then.” He half whispered, his eyes shifting to her lips before they found her eyes again, “I must say tho, I didn’t like your little dance with the idiot.” He raised an eyebrow, expecting her own apologies.

She took a step towards him, nearly no space left between them. Y/N put her hand on his neck, caressing his jawline with her thumb.

“I’m sorry. It was your fault tho.” She smirked, getting on her tiptoes to kiss him, briefly.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer.

“It kinda was.” JJ’s signature smirk grew on his face.

Y/N looked adoringly into his eyes, sighing softly. She circled his neck with her arms, placing a delicate kiss on his jawline.

He, too, let out a soft sigh, “I can never grow tired of you.”

She smiled in his skin, “You better not.”

Then she turned serious, backing away from his face a bit to look him in the eyes.

“You know you can have everything you want as long as you are mine, right?” Her voice was low, serious.

JJ loved this girl, he was utterly, inevitably obsessed by her. This was what Kie would tell him was something toxic, Y/N keeping him tied to her by promising him to always have what he wanted. But all he saw in front of him was a spoiled, loving girl, who didn’t know how to express her love for him besides offering him everything he needed, letting him know he was safe with her. Y/N made him feel safe, something he had never had. She was everything this life had never gave him, everything his family had failed him to, she wanted him to have: a future, something to hold on to. She had seen something in him nobody else ever had, and wanted to go to any lengths possible to give him what he deserved to have.

Y/N had often spoiled him with gifts, took him out to eat, bought him things he had briefly mentioned and she had always remembered. He would always get mad at her, leading to huge fights between the two that always ended up in make up sex. He genuinely didn’t want her to spend her money on him, although she would always remember him the money was her parents’ and they had so much she could afford to do anything she wanted with it, and also to mind his own business, because what she did with her money was surely not.

He did love when she payed for food, though. That was classic JJ. He would gladly have her spend her money on that anytime. But not when she showed up with bags of food for him to bring to his house, that he hated.

A quick, ‘Shut up, your dad’s probably drunk again, he won’t even notice.’ would normally shut him up.

It was during those times he realized how much more there was to the girl who always acted like a stuck up bitch. She was the most loving person he had ever met, and she showed it this way. The only way she knew, the way her parents had grown her up. She had always been showered with gifts by her parents, their way of showing their love to her. So she simply did the same, and the more he thought about it, the more he noticed all the things she did for others.

“Hey, Kie. I saw this necklace at the store and thought of you! Do you like it?”

“JB, help me with these bags! Stopped by the store to get some food. I saw your fridge was empty again.”

“I got you this book, Pope. This is what you were telling me about last week, right?”

Y/N Y/L/N was so much more than what she let show. The pogues had began to see that over time. They had accepted her, and understood what JJ had saw in her.

He loved her.

“I know.” He whispered.

She smiled.

“Good.” Y/N caressed his cheek again, “Mine.”

He hummed softly, while she began kissing his neck.

“Let’s go home.” She told him, before backing away from him and turning around.

She tossed him the keys to her car and walked around it, getting on in the passenger’s side.

He chuckled, getting in the car. She was often too lazy to drive, taking advantage of his presence to make him drive whenever she could.

JJ had his hand on her thigh while driving, and she played with his fingers humming to the music playing lowly on the radio.

“J.” She suddenly spoke up, making him look at her briefly before returning his eyes on the road ahead.

“Hmm?” He squeezed her thigh to encourage her to go on.

Y/N took a few moments to reply, gathering her thoughts.

“You know I’m very serious about this, right?” She turned her head to him, waiting for his answer.

JJ seemed surprised. Never had she expressed her feelings out loud before. She noted his surprise look in her mind.

“You are?” He asked.

Her fingers left his own to trace his arm up, her touch sliding on his skin. Then they trailed down again starting an up and down gentle pattern on his arm.

“Yeah.” She spoke, “I don’t want anyone else. From the moment I saw you, I knew you’d fuck my life up.” She chuckled jokingly.

JJ smiled, eyes falling on her for a moment before they returned to the road.

His grip on her thigh tightened.

“I guess I’m just that hot, huh?” He joked, making her huff and swat his arm with her hand.

She looked at him seriously.

JJ chuckled at the look on her face before they entered her driveway and he focused on parking her car.

Y/N got annoyed his attention wasn’t on her anymore, wanting it to be all the time. She was ready to throw a tantrum when he shut the engine off and turned to look at her pissed off face again, another chuckle leaving his lips at her expression.

“Let’s go inside and then we’ll talk, okay?” He asked her, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

She nodded stiffly, sending him a deadly look.

Here she was, confessing something important for the first time and he wouldn’t even reply.

They walked silently to the door. She took the keys out of her purse and fumbled with the lock. He stood behind her, his arms circled her waist and his hands placed on her lower stomach. She shuddered slightly, feeling his breath on her neck. JJ placed a kiss on it, and another, and another.

“Stop fucking around.” Y/N snapped, before succeeding in her task and opening the door.

He pushed her gently forward, before closing and locking the door behind them yet again.

Her parents had a dinner with some friends. Of course.

Y/N spent the whole way to her room pushing him away when he jokingly kept touching her, or trying to grope her ass. Once they were in her room, they closed the door and once again locked it, just in case her parents got back.

Y/N sat on her bed, expectantly looking up at him. He came to a halt in front of her.

He raised one hand to rest on her cheek, tilting his head down to look at her.

She raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow, waiting for him to speak up.

JJ had never done this before. Truth to be told, he was a little — well, a lot, nervous.

“Y/N, baby, I’ve never been more serious about anything else in my life.” He spoke up finally, making chills run down her spine at the nickname. He always used it with her, but the way he had said it made her heart swell.

She smiled softly, and JJ had never seen her eyes being so loving. Y/N was looking up at him as if she adored him, and his heartbeat pounded harder against his ribcage.

“I wanna give you everything you deserve, J.” She whispered, her hand finding his own, resting on her cheek. She squeezed his wrist, making small circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

JJ sighed, raising his other hand up to push away some locks of hair fallen on her beautiful face.

“Y/N, there is a ‘but’.” He trailed off, making her anxious.

She didn’t expect it to be.

“What?”

He had a sorrow expression.

“You know I can never reciprocate all the things you do for me. It fucking kills me. I don’t think-“

Y/N interrupted him immediately, her expression shifting to a significantly relieved one, as if she didn’t care about what he had said at all.

“Fuck off, JJ.” She huffed out, rolling her eyes, “I don’t care about any of that bullshit. You think if I did I would have been with you?”

Y/N was looking at him like he was stupid. He looked away.

“I know you don’t, but with time you’ll realize that.” He sighed, “I have nothing, Y/N/N. I don’t have any money, or boats, or fucking massive beach houses like the rich dudes you could be with.”

She snorted, entangling her arms around his waist. She placed her chin on his stomach, looking up at him with an amused glint in her eyes.

“I have enough for the both of us.” She winked.

JJ chuckled, shaking his head.

“You are unbelievable.” He told her, already smiling at her.

Y/N smirked, before turning serious yet again, “Seriously, tho. Stop with that money bullshit. Is that what a relationship should be about?”

He widened his eyes slightly, not wanting her to misunderstand him.

“No, no, no.” He frantically rumbled, “It’s just — sometimes… I feel like — I don’t know. I’d want to reciprocate the things you do for me, you know? I can’t give you all that.”

Her gaze turned soft at his words, he felt indebted?

“JJ. I’m gonna be saying this now, and you’re not gonna make me repeat myself again, okay?” She looked sternly at him, “What I do for you, it’s because I can. You deserve to have things you never could afford, I care about you and I want you to have everything you deserve. I don’t do it because I expect you to do things back. And this is the last time I’m telling you this, okay?”

JJ only nodded, he had a saddened look on him. And Y/N wanted to make him feel better.

She placed a soft kiss on his stomach, just above where her chin laid. Her kisses trailed down his clothed skin, slowly, before she was eye level with his man area. She detangled her arms from his waist, looking up at him with lust filled eyes. JJ’s eyes flickered closed when she placed a kiss there. Then she expertly unbuckled his belt, followed by his shorts. Y/N unzipped them and slid them down his legs.

“I’m gonna show you how much I want you.”

The hand that wasn’t placed on her face raised to tangle itself between her locks. He groaned lowly when she kissed his member, who laid hardened beneath his boxers.

“And only you.” She continued in a husky whisper.

“Y/N.”

She slowly brought his boxers down his legs too, his hard cock resting on his toned stomach.

Y/N tugged at his shirt, hinting at him to remove it. He did quickly before replacing his hands in their previous place.

“Nobody else.”

She was kissing the skin around his area, his abs, his thighs, his v-line, all of him. When she placed her full mouth around him, he shuddered at the feeling, a moan leaving his lips. She backed away to give the tip of his throbbing cock a kiss, looking up at him. Then she brought out her tongue, sliding it up his length. A tight tug at her hair was what it took for her to stop playing and finally wrap her lips around his dick again, her head bobbing back and forth on his length, directly before her face thanks to their position.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He groaned, tightening his grip on her locks.

She continued to suck him off, and minutes passed before her lips left his dick to spit on it. JJ loved that. She started again, this time going deeper. Y/N used her hands to handle what she couldn’t fit in her mouth. She could feel his tip touching her throat, making her gag slightly. She kept going on and on, relishing in the sounds of his moans.

Y/N looked up at him, tears and mascara smudged underneath her eyes, all over her cheeks. He felt like he could come just from her looking up at him. She moved her head faster, maintaining their eye contact.

His hand resting on her face slid down to grasp her jaw, thumb teasing her lower lip.

“Good girl.” His voice was low and steady when he spoke, making her panties dampen.

She moaned against him, deciding she didn’t wanna make him come like this. Y/N backed away, her warm mouth leaving his member. He frowned slightly in disappointment, clearly having been close.

“Sit.” She just said getting up.

He obediently followed her instruction, eager to feel her touch again.

Once he was sat on the edge of the bed, she only looked at him before removing her shorts. JJ huffed out a breath, feeling his dick impossibly grow even harder at her seductive ways. She looked like a Goddess while slowly pulling the item down her long legs.

She neared him then, standing in front of him and placing her hands on his shoulders. Their positions from before switched. He was quick to understand what she wanted and removed her panties swiftly, watching as his own fingers gripped the lace material and brought it down her legs. She stepped out of them only to get on the bed, straddling him.

Her legs were on either side of him, making her pussy touch his dick only slightly by not going down completely, her knees maintaining her weight.

JJ breathed out shakily, his hands finding her waist immediately. She used her finger to lift his chain up, making him look directly into her eyes.

“Tell me she meant nothing.” She whispered slowly, keeping their eye contact steady.

Her other hand went up his chest, feeling his body up before resting at the nape of his neck, fingers in his hair.

“Fuck, Y/N. She meant nothing.” He got closer to her face, “I don’t even remember her fucking name.”

Y/N seemed satisfied with his answer, her finger leaving his chin to run up his cheek.

“And that I’m the only one.” She tilted her head, lowering herself just a little bit so that her entrance brushed against his tip.

He exhaled, wanting nothing more than to fuck her.

“I don’t need to tell you that. You already know you’re the only fucking one, don’t you?” He seethed through clenched teeth, “You know you ruined me. You know I can’t even look at anyone else, because nobody compares to us. And I that I can never get my dick hard for someone else. I bet you know that, right?”

She felt herself clench at his words, getting wetter by the second. Because she knew this was true.

Y/N’s hand that was in his hair moved to line his dick with her. She lowered herself on him hardly, gasping at the sensation of him filling her up. He groaned, throwing his head backwards slightly. JJ’s hands tightened around her hips.

She leaned in to kiss him, he returned it passionately while she raised her hips only to smack them down against him again. Their synched gasps filling the otherwise silent room.

JJ moved to kiss her neck, leaving wet kisses on her skin. Her top annoyed him, and she quickly raised her arm to allow him to remove it when he started lifting the material. Her tits bounced up and down with her movements, making him crazy.

“You know I am yours.” He groaned out, before taking one of her breasts in his mouth, sucking on her nipple.

She moaned loudly, tangling her hands in his hair and pulling.

“I need you.” She let out between gasps.

“I know you do, baby.“ He kissed her again, “You always want me inside of you, don’t you?”

She nodded, leaving open mouthed kisses on his collarbone.

“Always so eager.” JJ’s hands shifted, and she felt them travel her whole body. Touching every inch of her. Then one of them rested on her ass, while the other grapes her right breast.

Her rhythm fastened. Her hips moved in circles, her movements sensual as she lifted her lowered herself on his dick continuously.

“This is mine.” She let out before a particularly hard smack down. JJ knew what she meant.

“All of it.” She continued, moving her hands from his hair to trail down the sides of his face, down his neck, lower and lower until they rested on his abs, “All of it is mine.”

He groaned, Y/N’s words bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He panted.

She started sucking on his neck, and JJ knew she wanted to mark her territory. Dark bruises were left where her lips had lingered moments before, hardly sucking at his skin.

“And this —“ He leaned back on his elbows, now fully able to admire the goddess riding him, “Is fucking mine, Y/N. I mean it.”

She gasped when his hands roughly grabbed her breasts, then trailing her down her body, feeling her up before returning to his previous position, resting on his elbows.

Y/N was a Goddess. A temptress. Her boobs bounced up and down with her movements, hips rocking in a sensual pace. Her long hair cascaded around her frame, making her look divine. She had his eyes on his face, and he thought he could come just by this.

“Fuck.” He groaned again when she leaned down to place kisses on his neck, her elbows supporting her weight were rested on either side of his head when she leaned down even more. Her tits were now in front of his face, JJ sucking and kissing them.

She moaned loudly, looking down to see them come together once again when she smacked her hips down on him.

“I’m close.” She gasped out.

JJ didn’t say anything, he instead placed his large hands on her hips and flipped them over in a matter of seconds. She let out a gasp of surprise when she found herself on her back, him between her legs.

Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing them even closer. When he entered her roughly, she screamed and threw her head back, back arched for him. He lifted himself up so he was his knees, took her legs over his shoulders and started pounding mercilessly in her.

His grunts and moans were music to her ears, Y/N gripped the sheets tightly when he snaked a hand around her neck, squeezing tightly.

A short time passed before he came in her, his seed filling her up and making her come undone too. Their synched pants filled the room while he thrust inside of her sloppily a couple of times more, riding their orgasm.

He collapsed on top of her, a panting mess. Y/N’s arms were around him a matter of moments, kissing his shoulders lovingly.

“Fuck, baby.” He let out.

She smiled in his skin, before pushing him gently up to sit on the bed beside his body. He pushed himself up to rest his back on the headboard of the bed, motioning for her to come there. JJ had sensed she had something serious to say.

She straddled him again, this time her actions were gentle and pure, and then sat between his legs with her own on either side of his waist.

She leaned forward to place a lingering kiss on his lips. Her hair cascaded all around her, so JJ took ahold of her locks and moved her behind her shoulders to let them fall on her back. She was looking up at him lovingly, an adoring gaze in her eyes.

“I want everybody to know.” Y/N whispered softly, bringing her hand up to his cheek.

JJ’s signature smirk painted itself on his beautiful features, making butterflies explode in her stomach.

“So let’s make it official then.” He kissed her again, and she could feel his smirk on her lips.

————

let me know if you want a part 2

[freddiekluger]

i love the "mike seeing the ghosts" idea SO much in general, so i've interspersed the main cap headcanon with some ones for the other ghosts- i love mike sm so thanks for requesting!!!

it started as a tickle in his throat, but come evening mike comes down with a serious chest infection. alison drives him to the doctor's in time to grab some antibiotics, but they've got a function at button house this week so for the most part alison has to keep her distance- can't afford for both of them to get sick, especially considering how many repairs, decorations, and vendor meetings still need to be sorted. mike pops a couple tablets before passing out.

the next morning, alison has to go out to run some errands, so mike finds himself stumbling to the kitchen for breakfast the next day. julian's already there, doing his trademark lunges while listening to the horse racing (it's become his ritual whenever the races are on- he's insufferable otherwise, so alison lets him keep the radio). they share a nod, and it's not until after mike sits down with his cereal that he realises he's just nodded at a dead politician with his balls out. between that and the phlegm in his chest, it was a rough start to the day to say the least.

after he gets over the whole "ohmygodicanseedeadpeopleholyshit" (and at least one reenactment of the hospital scene from the sixth sense), along with greeting the various ghosts he encounters on his way back to bed, via the loo (both him and mary got quite a shock when she "peeked on him at privy"), mike collapses onto the bed.

a pillow over his head, mike lets out a few substantial groans before hearing a cough that, surprisingly, doesn't come from him. he slides his head out from under the pillow and sits up to see a greying, slightly awkward figure in period military dress standing in the doorway. he assumes this must be the captain.

captain:

mike: hi?

captain: oh, hello. i was just on my way back from my morning run* and mary mentioned that you can, well, see us now.

mike: yep. [coughs] that's pretty much the deal. not sure why though

captain: oh that'll be the antibiotics you've got there. strong stuff, eh? anyways, i thought i'd stop by and say hello. hello

mike: hi. i would say nice to meet you, but [a coughing fit ensues]

captain: ahem, quite

[silence]

mike, holding up a video game casing: well, i was just gonna play this, if you don't mind?

*this is technically true. the captain is indeed, on the way back from his morning run, except his morning run finished half an hour ago, and he's been waiting for the right time to introduce himself to mike. unlike thomas, he doesn't expect anything to lead anywhere, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to be alone with the rather handsome buffoon.

mike's holding one of those war themed combat games, the kind with a vague plot but mostly battles and button mashing. the captain's temporarily distracted from staring at mikes arms, and starts quizzing him about the game itself. by the time the loading screen is done, mike's already gotten the impression that the captain doesn't want to leave for a few different reasons, and it's not like you have a WW2 army captain of hand to help you work out strategy every day, so they pretty quickly end up teaming up- long gone are mike's days of button mashing (or, mostly long gone. "sometimes it works!"). the only condition was that the captain had to stop calling mike 'michael'- mike said it reminded him of his grandad too much.

- the game has moments where your character can romance any of the other characters, regardless of gender- mike's a dirty player, the captain gets rather awkward when mike decided the best way to achieve his immediate goal is to seduce all relevant characters into giving up troop information, and mike would be lying if he didn't find it at least a little bit entertaining to watch

- in between levels, and when waiting for lives to replenish, mike asks cap about his time in the war, and the captain loves having someone to listen to all his stories (even if most of them are second hand). he keeps having to remind himself not to stare, because mike can actually notice his eyes wandering, but of course that just makes him even more aware of it and the cycle of awkward noises and obviously-not-looking continues. alison has let slip to mike that the captain is likely a bit of a bender, and is relatively flattered by the possibility of cap liking HIM (not to mention not wanting to accidentally send him into a toxic 40s shame spiral), so mike just keeps the friendly conversation going to keep cap feeling comfortable. the captain's crush migrates to the left, and by day four or five him and mike really are friends more than anything else- if there's one thing the captain couldn't stand, it would be turning into one thomas thorne, although he still gets a few butterflies when mike compliments his strategy after a tough level. (it's not every day you have the attention of a handsome man who thinks you're a genius- especially when you're dead)

- it warms alison's heart to see the captain having the closest thing to fun he's had since they arrived, and the whole ghost set up works well for her and mike- mike needs the company, and alison can't afford to get sick or fall behind on jobs

- kitty loves mike (not romantically, she just thinks he's neat!), and eventually joins him and cap for their video games. cap was dismissive of her at first (one part possessiveness over mike's time, one part disbelief that kitty could be a good player), but kitty ends up rivalling him when it comes to strategy. after one too many nights locked outside and having to break back in to her own home, she's become an expert at espionage (even if she won't admit her experience was anything other than a fun childhood game.) with cap and kitty helping him out, mike makes more progress in a single day than he had in a week of gameplay. not to mention, kitty could really use the confidence boost from mike's compliments which he gives to both of his gaming partners frequently, although he draws the line at kitty's georgian cough remedies

extras:

- fanny ignores him as overcompensation for Redding Weddy. well, i say ignore, but she's somehow always the first one to volunteer when alison asks one of the ghosts to check on him

- mike considers going down to the cellar to get a look at the plague ghosts. mike heads to the door. mike remembers the sheer amount of skeletons when they dug up the plague pit. mike pulls his blanket tighter around his shoulders and heads away from the door.

- obviously, thomas avoids mike wherever possible. mike barely even knows what thomas's voice sounds like by the time things go back to normal

- mike feels bad for humphrey, and keeps trying to pick his head up and place it amongst the action before remembering he can't actually touch him. he also feels bad for screaming everytime he sees humphrey's body stumbling around. it was in the bathroom one night, and let's just say it was lucky there was a toilet nearby.

- pat invites himself to watch mike, kitty, and the captain as they tackle the final levels together, on the proviso that he doesn't make a sound. pat's rubbish at tactical planning, even if he can plan a mean scouts activity, but he's just happy to watch. it's nice to see the cap really having some fun, and see kitty included. it'll be sad for everyone once mike finishes his course of antibiotics

- thing eventually do go back to normal, and the captain misses mike's company far more than he thought he would. mike's still around, but not being able to properly talk to him is tough, and the captain realised that he was maybe more fond of mike than he convinced himself (mike will still make a thomas thorne out of him yet). mike strangely misses the funny soldier, and the georgian 'battlemistress' (kitty chose the title herself), and alison finds herself constantly passing messages between them. they're currently testing out all the ghost-communication equipment under the sun (within a reasonable price range) to see if they can find a better solution

thanks sm for this one, and so sorry for the delay! i've been battling with hardcore brain fog, so it's been difficult to create totally new stuff with words- hope this was up to scratch

[sukirichi]

LOOK if suki managed to convince me that THE kisaki tetta is hot, then i could easily drag all of you together with me.

for starters, HIS BRAIN

FUCKING BIG BRAIN MOMENTS FOR KISAKI TETTA. OH MY GOD

tell me that you guys didn't know what kisaki's motive were before he revealed it himself. like, even i was fooled that he was only envious of mikey because he looked up at him too much (ironic. mikey's short)

THAT WAS A BIG BRAIN MOMENT

the way he planned that? amazing. flawless.

how he MANIPULATES people. he has all of them in the back of his hand. no. he has them on his PALM because goddness gracious. did you see how long it took BOTH naoto and takemitchy to take down kisaki? kisaki who doesn't have any single physical prowess in him and only has his brains?

Naoto who went to SCHOOL and graduated? a full time professional detective? him? how long did it took him to find out and foil his plans?

like who would've thought that all of that was because he fell in love with hina

and im into smart people. im INTO THAT SHIT. i slurp that shit up like im a woman on death row thirsty and deprived from any form of water for the past 5 weeks.

also timeskip kisaki.

that is all thank you<33

(ps. i dont agree with any of his motives. he's smart yeah but im only in it for his brain💀 but its still there. the simpness is sti there. barely seeable but it's there trust me [or not])

- 🌻

bestie anon, pop off, go invite em to kisaki train!

kisaki analysis under the cut 😈

i gotta admit, i really love the way he was written. as a psychology student, i am impressed with his manipulation skills (not in a ‘wow i should take notes’ type of way, but in a ‘see that’s a good example of what i should look out for’ way) and how he’s able to control all these great, powerful, and charismatic leaders without having to raise a fist in order to prove a point. kisaki is smart enough to know that sometimes pulling on people’s heartstrings will deliver a worse blow than a punch to the face.

what i love most about his character is that he doesn’t hold back in using his strengths. he knows he’s not a great fighter, he knows he’s not as strong or brawny as the others, but he is intelligent. he’s cunning. he’s observant and able to piece the puzzle together then derive a harmful conclusion of what could’ve been the consequences. then he brings them to life. he executes his plans and he does them well. like, in the timeskip, he was top of everything and everyone feared him !! big brain and big dick energy.

he’s so unapologetically evil for the most questionable reasons - bcos like really, with how handsome, smart, rich, and powerful he is, he could’ve gotten anyone (anyone that likes toxic people like him anyway cough ME) instead of obsessing over hina. idk but. tokrev would’ve been in a diff direction if a) kisaki took notes from shin that rejection isn’t everything and not that impressive of a Villain Arc, or b) someone just gave him a hug.

but yes, i am very shocked on the part where he finally revealed his motives !! shocked and disappointed bcos it started with a crush 😭 it reminded me of that time tsukki was acting like someone died over volleyball but turns out his bro was just lying to him, but hey, we all have our weaknesses and breaking points so. you do you, ig, but he didn’t have to do all that like kisaki CHILL 💀 then again, he is a great villain, imo. plus his timeskip was sexy af. not his past self tho, mans was just...he’s a no. timeskip! kisaki only bcos he was really, really handsome and ugh, smart evil guys ?? who are good in math ?? kisaki you could’ve just dated me, i would be all over you that you’d have no need to go this far 😹

also yeah, kisaki managed to overpower mikey and get past naoto in the future, which was really...👁👁. AND NOOOO not the mikey is shorter comment LMAO.

oooh you slurp that shit up like you’re eggken on death row ?? 😹 yeah i don’t agree with his motives too but his manipulation skills are on point and he was written really well - imo anyway. just very in awe at how ken wakui crafted kisaki as this lovesick mastermind. i love that sm. plus, like i said, TIMESKIP KISAKI 🥵

[euphoniouspandemonium]

four, five and six for the novel ask meme!!

Thank you!

4. Which part of your wip are you most looking forward to writing? (or which did you most enjoy writing if that part is finished already)

SO there's a particular subplot I've thought of in IYFM and it's just. So. Much. Wonderful. Angst. And so much Halcyon being soft and traumatized and Abhor being really gentle and caring and a certain character being a toxic piece of shit and! I am excited! I can't write it yet cause I need to name the toxic fucker character (he kinda has a name but I'm not sure about the name so we'll see) and there's quite a lot of dialogue (I'm not a fan of dialogue lmao).

5. Describe a minor character in your WIP.

Imma go with Ada's mum (who doesn't have a name yet) for this even tho she isn't exactly a minor character? But ok. Anyway, that woman is Amazing and I Love Her. She Cannot stand things not being clean or organised, loves herself some routines, and respects rules and traditions; which, considering Ada and Louis are both feral and rebellious, results in her being Very Annoyed (and Worried) with both of them. Also she's bi and, while she does tend to be v strict w Ada and Louis, she will literally strangle anyone, and I mean anyone, who would even think of insulting her daughter or her sibling for their identities and will fistfight god if anything serious happens to them. I love her sm I can't.

6. Tell me about another idea you have that you want to write one day.

I'm actually probably gonna start this really soon, but I don't really have anything else so here we go - only a couple of days ago I got the idea of an angsty historical fiction YA mlm slowburn and I love it. It's set in the 1940s/1950s and it's about a guy who works at a perfume? shop? thing? and he meets another guy who's exceedingly charming and very confident and handsome (at least by mid 20th century standards lol) and has a Gay Awakening™. Also Frank Sinatra songs <3

[your-rose-highness]

Tell Me What Is Love (ch-5)

The breakfast was rather awkward. Hye Hee’s post- drunk brain was failing to comprehend the situation and Baekhyun only made small talk with Jane, very interested in her family whereabouts and her struggles of the past. Hye Hee scanned him the entire time, reading his every move. Baekhyun caught her eye a couple of times while he spoke to Jane, only to quickly look away, which made it look even more suspicious. 

“What was Baekhyun doing in my dingy apartment so early on a Monday morning?” she thought to herself.

The three of them did the dishes and chilled in the living area before Jane left to go for the shift. Baekhyun and hye hee stayed silent for a long time before Baekhyun asked, “why have you been drinking so much?”

“I’m a grown woman. I can drink when I want to.`` she sternly replied.

“That's not what I meant. And you know that.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I can’t come to visit..?”

Hye Hee sat quietly. Baekhyun began twitching beside her when she looked over at him.

“The sofa is uncomfortable….”, he whimpered.

“I’m sorry it doesn’t suit your royal ass.”

“Why did you drink?”

“... I can't switch things because you don't like them…”

“Hye Hee, stop avoiding the question... Why did you..?”

“... plus why are you here anyway? Go run back to Taeyeon.”

“Excuse me? You were the one who suggested that I pretend harder..`` Baekhyun said, his voice rising.

“Pretend? When the hell…?”

“You know what, I'm leaving. You don't need me.”

“Yeah, run away Baek. That's what you did in the past. Do it again!”

“What did you say?”, Baekhyun looked at her furiously.

Hye Hee left the kitchen and walked to her bedroom, avoiding any confrontation. But Baekhyun wasn't having it.

“I left? Me? You never even tried to come back. That's how much I meant to you huh?”

“Yeah, you’re right!!! You never meant anything.i was happy to have gotten rid of you... Baekhyun this is my room, get out.”

“No.”

She exhaled slowly and began pushing him. Baekhyun didn't budge.

“I’m not leaving. Your place is my place.”

“Why are you doing this?!!” she exploded, even though Baekhyun was smiling.

It was like they were back in school again. He reached out for her hand, his eyes full of concern when he knew his best friend was hiding something really bad, “What’s wrong? Will you tell me now that you’re done yelling?”

Baekhyun was taller than her now, something she still wasn't used to yet. Her shoulders relaxed and she fought the urge to hug him. He was there for her, but he was someone else’s. The thought only made her want to cry but she tried with all her might not to.

“I miss you…”, she barely managed to say, her voice cracking.

Within an instant, his arms wrapped around her, his palm supporting her head, as he rested it against his chest.

“ I do too. Why do you think I'm here? You may be strong enough to avoid seeing me, but you know I'm not.”

He made her tea later, while both chatted about a job possibility in his company.

“Won't that be troublesome?”, She questioned.

“No… not really…” he trailed off, “at least better than someone we don't know. Teacher Sooman is more scared of sasaengs in the disguise of staff than anything else.”

“That's a good point.”

“Anyways, you have my recommendation. So there's a big chance you'll grab the job plus, your resume is a bonus.”, He stated, proud.

“It’s almost past 9 pm, don't you have to go home?”

“Well, I should… but Taeyeon and Sarang both are not home. So …. I'm free for dinner with you…”

“I didn't say I wanted to have dinner with you though,'' Hye hee responded cheekily.

Hye hee offered to make dinner this time, with Baekhyun as her assistant. They were discussing the amount of milk to add in their pasta sauce when he received a call. His expressions gave grim instantly, and he walked out to the balcony. Hye hee didn't want to trespass but she found herself a little too alert, trying to catch some words.

“..... really?... okay… yeah, you know… with the guys…. Don't wait up. Hmm.. okay.”

Hye hee wondered who it was on the other side. Taeyeon maybe? Baekhyun hung up and leaned against the wall for a few minutes before he left a deep sigh. 

Hye Hee quickly made her way back to the kitchen and innocently asked, “Who was that?”

“Taeyeon.”

Bingo.

“Oh? I thought you said she was not gonna be back till a few days?”

“Yeah, she decided to come back sooner I suppose. Anyway, let's have dinner and I’ll have to leave..”

“Yeah, sure.”

His one sentence had summarised their position in each other's lives. No matter how much they wished to spend time with each other, no matter how much they meant, Baekhyun was somebody's husband and his priority was never going to be Hye Hee. 

They quietly finished dinner and Baekhyun offered to wash the dishes with her, but by this point, Hye Hee didn't want to keep him away from his real family any longer.

After a few days, while Hye hee was shopping for some groceries, Baekhyun called her.

“Hello?”, She took his call, while also trying to put the pack of perilla leaves in her cart.

“Hye hee, do you have time tomorrow?”, his voice sounded urgent.

“Umm. For what??”

“The opening for staff at SM I told you about? I heard a few staff members discuss that it was the last day. What say? You want me to put you in?”

Hye Hee had a hard time saying yes, but a girl's gotta eat right?

“Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll come tomorrow for the interview.”

“Great! Alright, I'll text you the time okay? Okay, gotta go now, bye babe.” He hung up, excited like a puppy.

A faint smile played on Hye Hee's lips. 

"What?!", Jane exclaimed over the phone, making Hye Hee move her phone away from her ear. She had called her on the way to her interview the next day.

Reposing herself, Hye Hee continued, "So as I was saying, I have no confirmation about the job! can you calm down?"

"No! No! Okay, do this, once you get in, can you get a spot for me too?"

"Okay, we're going in circles! Look, I'll call you after my interview, my stop is here."

Hye Hee got off in a hurry, only 10 minutes before her expected time. 

She found the SM building with ease, no one could miss the tall building with a swarm of fans standing out in the hope of seeing their favorite celebrities. Hye Hee was guided to the staff entrance, on showing her interview mail on her phone.

The office was a beauty. The interiors were largely based on pastel shades and the minimal decoration gave it a very chic appearance. 

I could be working here... It's so pretty...

Snapping out of her daydream, a staff scurried over to her, leading her to the exceptionally large waiting area. She and 20 others sat nervously, waiting their turn through the huge glass doors.

After which seemed like an eternity, Hye Hee was finally called in. Taking a deep breath in, she opened the door to an exceptionally large room. Her legs wobbled a little as she took small but decent steps towards the large desk that had some of their artists and also Baekhyun’s manager. Just like her, he seemed taken aback by her presence but quickly reposed himself. Hye hee took the seat in front of the panel after she greeted them all.

She quickly recognized the handsome Yunho at the left of the table and couldn't help being starstruck by his beauty. 

“So, Song Hye Hee…”, boomed one of the member’s voices and also snapped her back to reality.

“You’ve quite an impressive resume and also an experience. I hope you know that the current job openings do not call for such expertise. Though we could use you for the international language department occasionally…”, he said, glancing at the other stern panelists with doubt.

“Oh yes, I know that the job doesn't entail or call for my previous work experience. I was looking to enhance my resume when I applied for this job..”

“Have you had any managerial responsibilities at the last post?”, suddenly enquired Yunho, looking straight into her eyes that could make even the non-guilty shiver.

Swinging between forming her sentences to answer and not being able to directly meet eyes with Yunho, “ Yes, I was head of the entertainment reporters team for a year…”

“Well… that’s not the kind of skills we’re looking for…”, mumbled the man on the far left, shuffling through the papers in front of him.

“Yes, sir. I have never said that I can't learn the work. My reporting job wasn't exactly my forte. But I learned the skills required for the job quickly after my supervisor helped me. I am more than sure that the responsibilities you bestow upon me will be dealt with to the end and with the utmost professionalism.” hye hee insisted. 

Hye hee’s demeanor vibrated through the room as the panelists thought over what she said. It was rare even for them to have an interviewee be that direct and to the point. The employees at the company were especially strict with their new recruitments due to past such incidents when they had toxic fans pose as recruits.

Yunho seemed to be quietly talking to Baekhyun’s manager, occasionally glancing at her direction. Hye Hee couldn't be sure if it was accidental with the questions being showered on her from either end. 

Boarding the bus closest to the company after filling a few more details, she headed to meet Jane for lunch at the closest ramen restaurant. Once again, thoughts clouded her mind and she found herself weighing the consequences if somehow they dug out her history with Baekhyun. Soon her phone lit up from a number she didn't recognize. She quickly dived to pick it up, expecting the company.

“Hello?”

“Song Hye Hee-ssi?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“I’m Jung Mu, Baekhyun’s manager. I was wondering if we could meet later today? I have some things to discuss with you.”

Hye Hee’s heart raced from the moment she heard him say his name. Baekhyun had mentioned his manager hyung's a million times before and continues to do so. Jung Mu had been a very quiet encouragement for him since the day he was assigned to manage EXO. he had helped him from many sticky situations and quite so even when he was out on dates with her. 

“Umm sure. There’s this tiny cafe on the 17th..”, she told him but was only cut short.

“Yes, I’m aware of it.”, Jung Mu quickly responded. “I’ve dropped him close to the cafe a million times.”

Hye hee an irritation in his voice that was hard to brush off. 

It reminded her of the rare occasions when baekhyun would get mad at her for nothing in particular. The sour memories clouded her, cueing the tears instantly. As she hung up, she contemplated if her working at SM would be the right choice after all. She was denying to herself that this step was taken to stay close to baekhyun and be able to see him every day, lying to herself that it was a big field break into the entertainment agency. 

But, the truth was, this would only further the distance more. Materialize it. The celebrity, married to an equally popular singer, and she, a struggling writer. Nothing but a layman. 

She hurried over to Minseok’s cafe soon, informing him about everything that had happened. He, being the good friend that he was, agreed in no time, however, did think that working at SM could cause trouble. Not just for her, but baekhyun as well.

“Why do I need to close the cafe for a staff?”

“Fans stalk the manager too, Oppa. I’m sorry. But this is the only safe space I know of.”

He let out a sigh and shook his head in disbelief. He soon handed her the pomegranate tea, her favorite for times when stressed. Minseok was usually very mindful of the people around him. The kind gesture made hye hee smile, he smiled at her and softly tapping her shoulder giving her courage to face what lay ahead.

She watched him walk into the low lit cafe soon, accompanied by someone she hadn't anticipated. The two dark figures approached her as they spotted the only person seated. 

“Song Hye Hee?”, asked Jung Mu extending his hand towards her. But Hye Hee’s eyes only followed the other tall man behind him. 

Suho.

 She couldn't think of him as an old friend at that moment. His expression was too grave to be addressed as the man who would smile so gently at her whenever they met.

When hye hee didn't respond at his words, Jung Mu just drew the chair opposite to her. Suho slid into the chair next to him, without meeting eyes with her the whole time. Hye hee silently tried to read into the situation, partially terrified. Minseok appeared minutes later to ask if anyone needed anything. Suho took one glance at him and said, “Lemonade, no sugar.”

“Can we trust him?”, Jung Mu whispered to hye hee after he left, briefly meeting eyes with hye hee, concerned.

“Minseok is a very close trusted friend of mine. You’re safe here.”

Minseok quickly hurried over with the drinks and left them to talk alone, shutting the small staff door. The room where she had met Baekhyun after all those years.

Sipping from his drink, after which his face scrunched in sourness, he quickly reposed himself.

“Hye Hee why were you at the agency today?”, his clear voice boomed in quiet space.

“Baekhyun said I could apply…”

He smirked with disbelief as she spoke, turning to face Hye hee, his eyes pierced into hers.

“Are you kidding me, Hye hee? After all, this while, don't you know? If someone ever finds out about the two of you, it won't just destroy him and you. It’ll take all of us down.”

He paused for a minute before whipping out his phone, showing her a twitter update.

Hye Hee picked up the phone bewildered.

“He’s already been spotted.”, Suho hissed. “You are VERY lucky that even though they are suspicious, the angle makes it hard to be sure. Isn't this your apartment, Hye Hee? Baekhyun refuses to handle this maturely, but Hye Hee, you? I expected better out of you. I cannot allow this. I’m sorry. I need you to minimize your contact with Baekhyun, and eventually, fade him out.”

He was right. What was she thinking? She was low key yearning for Baekhyun, expecting miracles where he would abandon his family for her. He wouldn't ever. Everything that he had built over the years was at stake and so was the entire group. 

“Fine.”, she whispered, a voice soft yet unshaken.

“Fine?” wondered Jung mu.

“I will fade away from his life, his memory. But I will need your help.”, said she, with eyes dark and resolute.

[lilysbook]

Ramblings: Reflection

My 3 weeks of freedom is coming to an end in 3 more days.

The first week was filled with apprehension and anxiety as I busied myself with the thoughts of finding a part-time job right away before my internship officially starts. It seems that I had forgotten how tough it was to get a job. I sent several resumes and even had an interview however time was a cruel factor. After a few half-hearted attempt in securing a job, I realise that I would not get this opportunity again in the near future. The opportunity to just do nothing. To rest and relax after 3 years of monotonous and toxic environment, I can afford to rest for a mere 3 weeks, can’t I? So rest and relax I did.

In the second week, there were news of EXO’s grand comeback, and EXO’s official SNS were created. Rumors about teaser (and eventually official news of the teasers) started to arise. SM dropped individual teasers at 12am KST each night for their title track. 

It was the beginning of my fangirl experience in comebacks. I was on twitter 24/7 and I think that I am an annoyance to my non-EXO twitter stans who had to see all my fangirling EXO tweets, so I am a little sorry about that. As this was my first comeback experience (EXO was my first ever kpop group I am obsessed with), I had no idea what to expect. So, I stayed up every night to wait for the new teaser alongside my twitter timeline that became frenzied every night an hour before it was released. The experience was in a word... fun. I had a sense of comradeship with my fellow EXO-Ls (although I don’t have any common mutuals -- I usually tweet and talk to myself loll). But I had a great time reading, liking and retweeting. The best part was 5 minutes before the teaser. Everyone in the timeline was filled with anticipation and excitement so it’s so easy to fall into the delirium as well. 

Kai was the first member in the teaser. Even though I had been excited just a minute before, when the teaser opened with the catchy tune, my heart dropped. Kai had dreads. Disappointment mixed with adoration. Kai looked so cute as always but he had dreads. My stand on it is that it is cultural appropriation and that it is not right for those not in the African culture to have it. Some don’t share my view but I think it is still wrong. He had dreads during the Wolf era as well and he did not like it so why now? Many (including me) defended him saying that the stylist/SM were the ones who forced it upon him. However, now we know that Kai was the one who requested for the hairstyle which disappointed me even more. He needs to be educated about this and some EXO-Ls had planned to do so. Hope that the message will reach him and he will be more knowledgeable about it and hopefully he would stopped wearing that hairstyle.

Baekhyun was next. The first thing that I did was to laugh at his hairstyle. But as time goes by, I think he pulls off the mullet really well. I fell in love right away with the song in his teaser, Forever. Kyungsoo’s line “Don’t break my soul...” was a clincher. 

There were many theories of whose teaser it will be the following night. Some said it was in alphabetical order, some said it followed the old songs order, some said it was the appearance in the teaser of the previous member. The last theory proved to be right (well, only for the first few nights). Chanyeol was the one to appear in the teaser. I loved his cotton candy hair. I love any hair that is bright. Chanyeol look so handsome in the teaser. The song Chill was awesome too.

Sehun came next and he looks good as always. He had grown on me over time. I always look forward to him when he is in variety shows. He has that natural entertainment sense. Anyway, he was amazingly badass in the teaser. His chest was covered with tattoos and his gaze was intense. I was like, woahhhh the maknae has grown up! 

The next night was Suho. I love Suho and his awkwardness. But there were no traces of awkwardness in his teaser. He looks dashing even in the various weirdly-styled outfit and his centre-parted mob of hair; both fits him perfectly. Suho is very princely and he has that royal aura surrounding him. As expected, that is our leader with high ranked visuals.

We were left with my top 3 biases: Kyungsoo, Xiumin, Chen & Lay. I know now that Lay is not in the comeback, but back then, I still had that tiny hope that he would appear the last night or something. Anyways, I was still so grateful and happy that SM saved my favourite boys for the last.

The next night was Xiumin. Wow. I was so speechless by his ethereal beauty. Is Minseok even real? As I have posted often here on Tumblr (LOL), Xiumin is my bias wrecker. I just can’t keep my eyes of him in the teaser. He has that gentle and feminine look that I adore so much, yet he is manly (do I make sense?). He is just so so beautiful. His eyes is his best feature. With his black comma hairstyle, (let’s face it he can dye his hair in any colour and he still look gorgeous) he was the most good-looking out of all the members by far. Of course, EXO has no visual hole (everyone is so very extremely handsome) and this is just my personal opinion anyways. Xiumin is just so underrated sometimes and I just want to shake everyone and tell them to look at that beauty and talent and intelligent human being  and stop sleeping on him. His vocal is one of the top in EXO but he was still overlooked. I’m so glad that SM gave him more chance to shine with Young and Free and also The War album. So proud of you my darling, beautiful Minseok. 

Chen came next. Different from the other nights, I watched the teaser late because I was not home. The first thing when I got data was to check who was next HAHA. This level of dedication (or obsession) surprise even me. Anyway, it was the vocalist who slays high notes in EXO, Chen. I like Chen’s personality. He even bleached his hair for the first time just for this album. That is dedication. I always like idols with blonde hair as I find them good-looking and Jongdae was no exception. he looks so good in the teaser. 

And then who do we have left? Yes, it is my ult bias in EXO, D.O, Do Kyungsoo. Out of all the members, I like his voice the most (yes I may be slightly biased). I like everything about him. I like that he is shy outside, but his stage presence is amazing. I like that he is passionate about both his singing and acting. I like that he is a man of few words, but when he talks, everyone cracks up. I like that even though he is physically small, he is a manly man. I like his smile, I like his hair. I like his loyalty because even though he has acting commitments, he drops everything for EXO. I like him so so much. In the teaser, he smiled so gently, it feels like he is my boyfriend. In this album, I like that he has a lot of parts because i like his singing voice. You know how you like someone and you like everything about them but you cannot also point out specifically what you like about them because you are afraid you will miss out on something? Yeah, that’s how I feel about Kyungsoo. I just... like him as a person. I admire him so much. 

Even though I have biases in EXO, I love each and every member too. They are talented and popular, yet they remain humble and polite and down-to-earth. They were met with so many challenges but even so, they are still one. Their gratitude towards the fans are what made us EXO-Ls stay and what makes them still relevant imo. I hope Lay will join them in the repackage album!!!

I love stanning EXO. 

Anyway, the group teaser of Kokobop was released night after Kyungsoo’s and then the MV the day after. I love the song. I love the whole The War album. I love how EXO feels so excited about this album because they were involved in the making thus making them attached to it. The MV itself needed some time to get used to because there were slight drug references in it. The first time I watched, I had already picked up on the not-so-subtle cues that they were high on drugs lol (don’t do drugs kids). But I may have overreacted and think too much as well. I don’t know. Baekhyun explained they were aliens sent to Earth (in reference to previous MVs). The filmography was amazing though.

They then had Vlive and everyone was so funny and cute omg especially Kyungsoo’s freestyle dance to Touch It. HAHAHA that ahjussi. The most exciting schedule that they have and that I am looking forward to would be their appearance in Knowing brothers. I am a Knowing Brothers maniac so having two of my faves set of people meet is the best thing a fangirl can get. 

Their first live performance of Kokobop was just tonight and it was amazing. The dance, the vocal, the visual were top notch. I like the starting and the dance break part the best. 

And they performed The Eve too. Wow. It has a sensuous feeling to it. HAHA. I am barely explaining it but the whole album is that way so yeah. (I want to see this live lol. I attended Exor’dium concert where they performed Artificial Love and woah what an incredible experience).

Anyway, my point of this entry (before I could stop myself from writing an essay about EXO) was that EXO unintentionally became my project during these 3 weeks break. I experienced how it was like becoming a full-time fangirl and it was an amazing and fun experience. I foresee myself not having the luxury of committing this much time and effort in the future due to internship and work commitment hence these 3 weeks had been an enriching and novel experience in its’ own way. I believe that everything happened for a reason. EXO’s comeback just happened to be at the time where I have no commitment and for that, I am utterly grateful.

I will be cherishing my last 3 days and giving full support towards my boys whose rival is their 2016 self (as wisely said by Minseok). I will be like them and constantly try to improve myself as well. 

This had been really fun. I will miss this feeling.