#anyways gonna try to get through all the content i havent done before fall. so

[crows-of-buckets]

Okokok thoughts on the dragon age trailer. 1) I have GOT to read the books now god dammit and 2) I actually like the idea of a more stylized art style. I doubt the trailer is gonna be the in game style but tbh I don't like heavily realistic game styles. That and I would like the game to be brighter because sometimes the darker areas in inquisiton are AWFUL I CANT FUCKING SEE

[ohhmyheart5678]

When in the streets of seoul (5)

*warning* this mentions death, murder, suicide, guns, and other gruesome and dark content if you are sensitive to these kinds of things do not read it

Pairing: Chan x female reader

Word count 2.1k

Previous/ next

*****

It's been six days, six day fucking days since I've been trapped here. I absolutely hate it. I spent the first three days not speaking to anyone and the other three finally excepting the fact that this is going to be my life now.

It's such a nice place. I get fed the best foods, I sleep in the most comfortable king sized bed with silk sheets, I have the best clothes, and I'm still miserable.

I went to the speaker and pressed 1. "Kinely ! You need something?" Chan sounded quite concerned. He believed that I had everything I needed but he forgot one thing. "I need to go to the store" I say sharply. Even though the deal was  that I wasn’t able to go in public he haven't let me out of this room yet.

He says I'm not cooperating and so I have to wait. "What do you need from the store that I can't get for you?" I could hear the slight annoyance in his voice but he could never be as annoyed as I am right now. I mean he is keeping me hostage for Christ sake. "Just take me to the store you dickhead" I was honestly so done with him.

I needed to get out this room and I needed to go to the store ASAP. "I'm not going to the store because you won't tell me what it is" Chris was trying to put his foot down but little did he know I was far better at this game than he was. "Look I need pads either you take me to get them, or you can suffer the consequences of trying to find the perfect pads for me which I guarantee that you won't and then you'll have to take me to pick them out anyways, or we can always go with the option of me bleeding everywhere" there was a long pause before he finally responded.

"Fine I'll take you to the store" was all he said before it went completely silent. I waited patiently by the door until a boy comes in. "Hey seugmin did Chris send you for me" he just gives a simple nod. "Felix and I" he simply says while fully opening the door that he was standing in just enough to show his body. Once he swung open the door it revealed Felix. The orange haired boy waved at me.

Since staying here Chris has sent the boys at least once so that they could introduce themselves since I'm gonna be seeing a lot more of them. I've learned about what these boys do. Since I had nothing better to do the least I could do was steal information on the guys I'm going to be living with from now on.

For instance Chris is the oldest and the leader. He calls the shots, he looks over the plans, and makes sure everything runs smoothly he does need to do much work but Felix says Chris is the last resort and that he’s feel bad for anyone if Chris was called in. Then there's Minho. He is one of the main men on the field he's the look out and distraction, and supposedly from what I heard he does a damn good job at it. Plus Minho has a medical background so if anyone gets hurt he’s the man everyone goes to.

There's also changbin he's got quite the temper so they use him when there's need for extreme measures you know if they need .. a mess. I heard he can get pretty creative with that stuff.

Hyunjin, who often checks on me throughout the day is the sniper. He knows weapons like the back of his hands and could handle them blindfolded. Then it's Jisung, they call him Han. He is the best fighter in the house. You can have a gun in the fight and he could still win.

Felix known as the second Aussie of the house does the interrogations. He can get anyone to talk, his deep voice scares mostly anyone , but for the ones that are harder to get through. Let's just say they can either come out alive while missing some part of their body. Or they can come out in a body bag.

Seugmin is the hacker, he can hack into litterally anything. You name it, he can hack it. He's the one who got the information on my dad.

Last but definitely not least there's jeongin they all him I.N . He is silent but deadly. The red hair boy is like a ninja. They use him when they want to get the job done quickly but quietly.

We arrived downstairs where Chris was waiting for us at the door. I figured he was already handling business downstairs so he fetched the two boys to get me. "Thanks gentleman I got it from here" it was his nice easy of telling them to go away.

We got into his car and he drives us to a nearby store. I looks around searching for the right ones as he stands behind me trying to figure how the whole process works. I saw the pack I wanted and grabbed two of them. "Ahh now I know for next time" he says as if he has just been enlightened. "Next time?" I wanted to know what he meant by next time.

"Next time its you know... that time, I'll be able to pick out the right ones for you" that’s so aggravating! My only reason to get out the house was once again taken from me. Chan probably could tell that I was slightly disappointed by his statement so he changed it a little , I mean seeing that he’s talking to a hormonal women who’s not necessarily in the best mood at the moment. "I mean unless you'd like to do it for yourself" A small smile slightly appeared on my face as I handed the cashier the goods to ring up. "Is there anything else you want or need from here before we leave" Chris wanted to hurry out of here because this was time he could be spending working at home. "Nope" I was completely content with having what I needed so far.

Once we arrived back home I was instantly sent back to my room. Sitting there in boredom I looked around for some form of entertainment. There was absolutely nothing to do in this room and I was just now realizing it. For the past few days all I've been doing was sleeping and eating , so I didn't stop to think about it . I was too busy being sad about being locked up in a room by a bunch of psychos.

I looked over at the speaker not wanting to bother Chris because I rarely want to even speak to him. I walked over pushing the number 5 on the speaker and hoped this man was in his room.

"Hey kinely are you doing ok?" He genuinely sounded concerned. "Can you come over here please" I knew I didn't have to really ask him because he doesn't mind coming and checking on me anyways but I thought to ask just in case . "Sure just give me a sec" Hyunjin was always in here and even though Chris comes in often to talk to me he's always busy it's only for a few seconds before he goes back to "work".

Hyunjin came within fifteen minutes. He knocks making sure I'm not naked or anything. I think that it was pretty nice of him to do considering the other boys just come in as they please. I mean I know it's your home and all but a girl needs privacy.

"Come in" I yelled from my closet, I had just put on sweats and a hoodie to get a little comfortable. "You sent for me?" He walked in and closed the door behind him. "I was wondering if you could stay in here for a little longer than you normally do? I think I'm gonna go insane in here by myself" he chuckled at me being immensely dramatic. I put the back of my hand on my forehead pretending to be a damsel in distress.

He walked over to my bed and sat on it and patted on it which was his way of telling me to sit down. "Maybe you don't have to stay in here all the time" he seemed like he was getting somewhere but I was yet to follow. "What do you mean?" Was he gonna take me out this house or was I reading this wrong? "Its not much but maybe you could come to my room. There's tons of things to do in there. We just can't let Chan know I'm taking you out considering he wants you in the room." He fidgets a little wondering how I was going to respond to his offer.

Hell yeah I was gonna take this opportunity to leave the room! I had nothing else to do in the looney house. "Why not?" I shrug not wanting him to know just how excited I was. He grabs my head and leads me to his room all the way in the other side of the house.

My jaw dropped once he opened his room door to let me inside. He had arcade games like ddr, those ones when you race on the motorcycle, street fighter and pac man. He had a giant tv mounted on his wall in front of his bed and a wii console which I havent seen in years. "Told ya" he crossed his arms leaning against doorframe while admiring the dumb look of shock on my face.

"Where do we even start?" I was still looking around trying to pinpoint the first thing I wanted to do. "Doesn't matter where we start all you need to know is I'll kick your ass at any game in this room" his cockiness shines through, a side of him I haven't seen since I first met him.

What he didn't know was how competitive I can get "You're gonna be very disappointed when you realize how much you suck compared to me, especially when I beat you in dance revolution" It was on now. I can see a gleam in his eyes and knew he was almost if not just as competitive as I am.

Twelve rounds, six wins , and six loses later. We decided to watch a movie. "How's it feel to loose to someone as amazing as I?" I stood on his bed placing my hand on my hips. I'm sure he's yet to meet someone as dramatic as me. "We both won and lost the same amount of time so I'd say we're equally as amazing if you ask me" hes right about that but this his room and his games that he plays all the time if he didn’t win then it would be embarrassing. Hyunjin pulls my right leg causing me to fall on his bed. "You asshole!" My body had no control over itself. It was bouncing up and down on its own and I couldn't even stop it.

"You were to one who wanted to watch a movie and you can't even sit still" Hyunjin teases while I finally get myself together and sit up all the way in the bed. "Plus you weren't calling me a asshole when I took you out of your room." I gasped while holding my chest. "Oh how dare you?" I squinted my eyes at him and he laughed at me.

I must admit I haven't felt this good in a few days. I almost forgot that I was being held against my will but the thought is always in the back of my mind. I finally settle down and Hyunjin was nice enough to let me choose the movie I wanted. So here we were, on the bed watching a movie. For comfort I lay my head on his shoulder and her wraps his wraps around me.

I felt relaxed and almost safe. Soon I fell asleep with the movie playing in the background. Hyunjin was staying still trying not to wake me up. In fact so still that he ended up falling asleep himself.

I just needed to wake up on time before Chris realizes that I'm gone.

Previous/next

[bellybiologist]

Current Dealings and Collecting Some Feedback/Opinions

(This is a post on my patreon, copypasted to here)

Hey guys, Just coming to reiterated what some of my original plans were, what's going on personally, and to collect some feedback on what I want to try to do this November and December.

Currently, since my mom passed, my household BASICALLY lost somewhere between 1/2 to 2/3rds of our income, and my patreon earnings are, atm, the only income I'm getting to pay for rent and all our various other bills until my aunt finds steady employment (she has some income working for a friend, but that friend is a douche and she's trying to get out of that).

It's been real rough for the both of us. Just recently, we paid off the 300+ dollar bill for the electricity that the oxygen compressor my mom required just to breathe at home for the couple months before she died, and only with help from my uncle.

She passed in august, we had her cremated, and we had her funeral and had to deal with a lot of stuff she hoarded in September due to apartment management needing to deal with maintenance. And i'm just currently... not feeling great if i'm being honest, especially after her birthday which was on the 13th of october (3 days before mine which was on the 16th).

Fall/Winter is always rough because its the season my mood drops in general, and the fact that i've recently lost my favorite person this year has my anxiety at an all time high, and energy at an all time low. I'm getting work done slowly, but my constant mood is basically that one meme image of Coraline's dad from the movie.

Anyway. I definitely need a break before i burn out or simply break down. Initially, I planned on taking my month off in January, but I think i'm going to need to take some time off earlier so i dont really crash and burn.

However, I can't really take a break cuz i need the income due to the above reasons. I only have like, 2 months rent saved up at any given point, so I'm feeling very pressured to power through and keep working... which, objectively, is not a great idea for anyone's mental/physical health, especially when I haven't felt like i had time to properly grieve and acclimate, and it's starting to catch up to me.

=====

So here's a proposition that I'd like to collect feedback on.

For November, December, and maybe January, I will continue to produce patreon exclusive content. But during these month's, I will be producing a reduced amount, thus giving me more time to rest, and more time to finally catch up on the commissions i owe (I'm very sorry for those who have been waiting since April. I simply could not predict how devastating my summer was gonna be 😔. I appreciate all of you guys' patience, but if it's still too much of a wait, do remember i still offer refunds as long as i havent sent a completed piece... which basically means you all apply, lmao.)

So for the month's with reduced content, I will still hold theme and character polls for people to exert their voting powers. However! I will only be doing fills for the first top 3 winners, and each will only be getting a single fill (as in, no sequences, similar to the 3rd and 4th place fills).

=====

Let me know what you think! I'm hoping this temporary set up wont last no longer than into January and that i can get back on the ball and have an at least half-way decent 2022, but it's gonna take some doing for sure. Once again, thanks for all of your support! Despite how badly things went this year, the few things I was able to do for my mother while she was sick this summer is all thanks to you guys. So i'm eternally grateful for that. 🙏🏽

[thesunshinydays]

[insert blaseball fic title here]

a wip for @blaseballwipamnesty about lenny marijuana learning how to deal with splort related anxiety before her first game, all as part of my scheme to put more real sports things into blaseball content. theres a lot more that i want to add to this including scenes from the game itself, but i just havent gotten around to it yet. also, this is @waveridden ‘s sister!lenny because thats my favorite lenny. overall id say it isnt even halfway done, though i do intend on finishing it at some point

i put it under a readmore because it needs content warning for food and a very frank discussion of dealing with a nervous stomach

“Okay so, I’m not nervous,” Lenny says, feeling like she might throw up at any moment. She’s looking down at what would normally be a perfectly appetizing waffle.  It has a chunk cut out, separated from the rest with a fork stuck in it.  She had tried to take a bite.  She really had.  But the idea of actually having to eat it was making her even more nauseous, so she is staring at it instead, as if that will let her passively absorb the calories she needs to pitch her first real game out of the shadows.  She is pointedly *not* looking at Mike Townsend sitting across from her as she continues speaking: “But let’s say, hypothetically, I know someone who is pitching their first game today and is nervous about it.  What advice would you suggest I pass along to them?”

“Well, first,” Mike says, “it’s normal to be nervous, so your friend shouldn’t feel bad about that.  Any athlete that says they’ve never been nervous for a competition is a liar.”

“Really? I’ve never been nervous, ever,” Lenny lies.

“Oh, obviously. But for your friend: the secret to maximizing personal performance isn’t about not feeling anxious, it’s about learning how to work with that anxiety in a productive way and knowing that you can perform your best even while nervous,” Mike rattles off rotely.

“Why does this sound familiar?” Lenny asks.

“Because it’s in the presentation that the splort psychologist gives during every preseason training camp, which, I might add, your friend would know if she didn’t, hm, I don’t know, fall asleep in the middle of it,” he says.

“At least I don’t know it word for word,” she snaps back.

“I thought it was your friend who needed advice?” Mike looks a little smug and Lenny kicks him lightly under the table in retaliation. He laughs.

“Are you gonna give me real advice or what?” Lenny asks. She tried to make it sound biting or sarcastic, but she’s not sure it worked. She looks down again at her waffle chunk and pushes it around the plate. Teddy had worked hard to talk the hotel manager into opening up the waffle station at around four in the afternoon for the team, since it was normally reserved for complimentary breakfasts.  She knew this wasn’t the team’s standard operating procedure. Normally, they’d go wherever they wanted for lunch, but Teddy had suggested this today instead. She feels shitty having to let the effort go to waste. She looks back up at Mike and says, “Quit it with the stupid psycho babble and give me something actionable, I feel like I’m gonna hurl.” 

“Well first off, milk is the wrong choice,” he says as he takes her barely touched glass of whole milk and pushes his untouched glass of orange juice toward her. 

He thought something like this might happen and got the juice for me in the first place, that fucking sneak, Lenny realizes.

“Second,” Mike says, ”stop trying to force yourself to eat if you feel like you can’t. It’s better to snack throughout the day if your stomach won’t settle than to eat a bunch at once. The ideal would be dried fruit and jerky so that you get carbs and protein to give you energy in the moment and through the course of the game, but we can make trail mix work.”

“Can’t, peanut allergy,” Lenny says.

“We can get you one with granola and almonds. Also, if you really, really can’t eat during the game, at least make sure you’re drinking a sports drink. It’s a lot of sugar, but it’s better than nothing and will keep you hydrated. Also, if you’ve recently had a lot of dairy, you might think about taking a lactaid.”

Lenny squints at him. “Those pills for lactose intolerant people? But I’m not--”

Mike cuts her off before she can finish. “I know, but it might help digestion go smoother and faster anyway, or at least placebo effect you into thinking it’s working.” 

“Okay, I was giving you shit earlier but this is actually really helpful.”  Lenny’s impressed. Somewhere along the line she had starting thinking of Mike as her weird mom friend -- her mind briefly supplies “adopted brother” but she stomps on that line of thinking before she can let herself analyze it -- and had forgotten that he was also one of the most famous (or infamous) pitchers in the ILB with half a dozen or so seasons of experience.

“My stomach isn’t quite as bad as yours, but I did used to get really nervous for games,” he admits.

“Used to? What changed? I thought you said anyone who says they never get nervous is a liar?” she asks.

“It’s not like I never get nervous, it’s just that… after enough games you start to get used to being nervous. That and well, after everything that’s happened, my perspective has shifted.” He gives a small shrug and looks past her out a window.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She knows she shouldn’t even have to ask. She asks anyway.

“The only games I get really, really nervous for anymore are eclipse games,” Mike says, still looking away, “‘Cause how I perform determines how long we stay on the field.”

[solunova]

hey uh ib is... como se dice... a Fuck. like as someone who is still trying to recover psychologically after graduating and getting my diploma. like i was Smart Good At School and hung out with Smart Good At School and we were all dying the entire time. you may have some issues but like. shit's fucked man

(Another Anonymous said: Hey don’t stress yourself too much with ib stuff, they suck now and are so freaking stressful but they are definitely steps that will help you down the road (coming from someone who definitely credits all the ia and shit I had to write to helping me rewrite a 10 page college paper 3 days before it’s due and get an a on it) these things have their place in you academic journey (also don’t stress the ioc’s too much you have that knowledge in your brain you can do it!))

i guess before i start: thank you two. person 1 for validation in my pain and 2 for encouragement that ill be okay and that it isnt all for naught. i appreciate both of yall! 

but its my birthday at 1:40 am and im fucking SAD cause im up trying to write my entire bio ia due friday after some Complications came up so this is gonna be a mostly negative retrospective of my last two years and the circumstances that ive lived in due to the ib

i refuse to put this under a cut yall scroll past word walls anyways

so heres my hot and absolutely original take: i recognize that ib is extremely beneficial in certain regards. i know from everyone who took it telling me that its good for college experience and all that kind of stuff, both on a knowledge/content level and on, as person 2 describes, an “i cant get off my ass to write this paper in time” level and being able to compensate for that. i agree with that! I am extremely grateful for an increased class difficulty, especially in the fields where i knew what was happening already and spent classes bored until ib. and like! ib english is the first goddamn time ive EVER talked about the evils of imperialism and colonialism in an academic setting. that shit is vital to our future and yet no normal class talks about it!!! its terrible! and ib history is the first time ive ever enjoyed a history class and gotten even a margin of a good feeling out of it. like there are some really good parts of ib that ive written every damn college entry essay ive gotten on. i Know.

but like okay lets start with the fact that going into this that they (as in all ib teachers) were like “oh itll break you out of procrastination! itll teach you to constantly be studying!!! its what you need for college!!!!!” when it has done all of jack and shit to help us achieve that. its just kind of put us in the lions den and let us scramble at the walls for a foothold to get out or at least survive, maimed and depraved. if it sees us stopping to catch our breath, it shoots at our feet. the ibo extorts our misery to feed their mirth

lets also acknowledge that dumb fucks who take full ib, or even worse, those taking pseudo full ib (ie all classes but no diploma cause their extended essay busted and they gave up ie me) mostly take it due to extreme pressure, be it from their schools, their family, or their own psyche, saying they arent good enough if they dont take the highest offered classes, or even more that if they arent doing well in those classes its a product of their own shortcomings and then spend most of the rest of the time in ib degrading themselves because no matter how much time they put in they cant be the best and all that fun stuff. ib kids are put on a sort of pedestal by the school but then left on their own. 

i, of course, see this as a much greater academic institution integrated mindset that needs to be addressed and challenged, but to force it on kids who have to not only go through with it for the next four years, but also because its targeted at these kids that are higher achieving “gifted and talented” fucking whatever, most likely the rest of their lives?

its straight up psychologically damaging to give such a rigorous course load and no help for the effects and self esteem issues from it, no help for the people who dont know how to give up and instead run themselves in the fucking dirt and strain themselves to the edges of their goddamn sanity, spending what little time is left in their adolescence treating themselves like shit

idealistically, ib is wonderful. i think it carries out some of its best traits (integrating global thinking, allowing a more freeform discussion of many things, etc), but i also recognize how absolutely full of shit it is in many corners (regarding encouraging service, intellectual honesty, whatever else), one, and that a lot of people are just.. not up to the task. they may have the ability intellectually, but not mentally. i firmly believe that anyone can do anything if they set their minds to it but i have become the victim of my own philosophy because that came at the expense of my well-being.

and the fact that when i tried to tell my coordinator this she a) did not let me just NOT do the ee despite how strained i was(which i didnt end up doing, lick my whole dick mrs kurtz) and stole my summer from me because between being depressed as hell at gsp i was a nervous wreck about what they could do to me or how i was going to accomplish anything that i needed to, and that i havent had a proper break from school in three straight years, that im still running on empty essentially and b) that when i told the other ib coordinator, 4 months later, theres not a souls chance in hell that i was gonna fucking do it, that she lectured me and made me cry in class about how “you cant see the forest for the trees” “thisll help you later in life” “youre throwing away jobs” all that fun stuff like

its evil

the lack of care that often goes into it

the extreme magnitude of work that, sure, is feasibly possible for a 16-18 year old to do, but here theyre expected to

the fact that the classes fall in a time where gpa is so absolutely vital to colleges and scholarships (and given that its these ib kids’ personality and intellectual dispositions, even more so - both in esteem and necessity)

the fact that so many of the classes and so much of the coursework is empty, ultimately

its kind of a bad system

not even to MENTION the egotistical complexes, both inwardly as addressed and outwardly as in being the most godawful kind of people that manifests in these people that think theyre gods gift to the world cause they took ib and “if you spend time bitching about ib you deserve to fail because that was time you could have spent working” like you sound like the worst kind of person and i dont fucking care. theres a girl in my classes who is so upset every time someone doesnt listen to her because she thinks everything she has to say is the goddamn gospel and ib really attracts these kinds of people and its the WORST

[thelifetimechannel]

This week’s bonus content brings us Jake and John discussing the likelihood of  a robot apocalypse:

JAKE: Hey there pal! JAKE: So youre jades... brother? JOHN: that's right! JOHN: compared to how confusing everyone else's family trees are, we are very straight forward. JOHN: even if we did not know we were related at first... JOHN: i wasn't sure how YOU were related to her, back when you were pen pals. JOHN: do you remember sending me that letter? JAKE: By jove i almost forgot about that. It feels like ages ago. JOHN: i don't know how long it was for you, but i got it three years ago. JAKE: I mean from my point of view it was only a couple of months but a lots gone on. JOHN: it arrived on my birthday so it was right on time. JOHN: it came in handy in a tight spot. JOHN: you were right in your letter, i DO love movies. JOHN: even if i am not into wrestling that much. JAKE: Oh well ive had my fill of fisticuffs for awhile anyway. Movies on the other hand i havent had much time to dig into! JAKE: By the way did you like your present?? And little terry kiser? JOHN: um... JOHN: well, i named her liv tyler, actually. i didn't know you already named her, or him. JOHN: anyway, she saved my butt in a big way! JOHN: and then she flew off on a ship heroically, but ran off again i guess? JOHN: and then she somehow joined dave and rose on their even more heroic mission to blow up a sun. JOHN: which they failed to do mostly because they actually MADE the sun, but the important thing is that they tried. JOHN: they came back, but i think the bunny didn't make it. :( JAKE: I live by the philosophy that when a stuffed toy changes hands its appropriate to change its name. It gives things a history like that. JAKE: At least she died doing something i presume she enjoyed. JOHN: blowing up? JAKE: No!! Being a hero and dicing up bad guys! JOHN: was the robot sentient? JOHN: maybe we should have treated it with more respect, so it would not turn evil and destroy us like a watership down version of skynet. JAKE: I mean dirk helped me a little in making it and all of his projects seem to enjoy that kind of mayhem. JAKE: Not as much as his own version of the rabbit but i think in giving me advice at least a couple of his engine greased fingerprints are on it. JOHN: man, everyone is some sort of robotics genius around here. JOHN: if we hadn't already had an apocalypse ushered in by rogue technology i would be worried. JAKE: I briefly suspected hal but no worries. JAKE: I think if he were going to attempt a robopocalypse he wouldve done it a long time ago when he was bored and had less to do. JOHN: he and terezi would get along. they both seem to enjoy wreaking mayhem for fun, although she says she's sorry now. JAKE: They might try but dirk would go spare. JAKE: And I think hes tossed out all his spares for today already. JOHN: everyone has learned their lesson about devious deeds! JOHN: i'm confident that will not happen in the future. JOHN: instead we can relax and do things like watch that movie you were recommending. JAKE: Oh yeah!! JAKE: Which one did i recommend again? I think it was weekend at bernies. JOHN: the one about the corpse getting moved around to trick people? JAKE: Oh yes! Two gentlemen discover that their boss has died shortly before throwing a party and try to convince people hes still alive by puppeting his body around! Its really quite hilarious! JOHN: it sounds good. JOHN: although apparently i'm already locked in to watching a few others. JOHN: including dave's? JOHN: i can't believe he became a big deal movie star in your world, that's hilarious. JAKE: He did. Ive got one of his characters tattooed on my arm! JOHN: um JOHN: you do? JOHN: wow. JOHN: have you told him that? JAKE: Not yet. Should i? JOHN: you might actually make him speechless, which would be a first. JOHN: definitely try it. JOHN: wait, which one is it anyway? JOHN: also, how did you get a tattoo? JOHN: i thought you grew up alone or something, like jade did. JAKE: Ive got sweet bro. Dirk gave it to me after we met up! JAKE: Hes got hella jeff. We match! JAKE: Let me tell you it was a harrowing thing getting it! Id heard getting a tattoo really hurts but you know what i just closed my eyes and before i knew it it was over just like that. JOHN: ... JOHN: huh. JOHN: well, that sounds exciting. i'm sure he'll be thrilled. JOHN: none of us have ever shown that level of devotion. JOHN: mostly we just repeat his shitty memes. JAKE: Dirk takes memes to a whole new level pal. JOHN: i haven't really had a chance to meet him before this. JOHN: i've been missing out on so many reunions today, maybe because i keep bouncing around taking people places. JOHN: out of you guys i've mostly talked to jane and roxy. JOHN: and i only talked to jane once! JOHN: i'm already behind. JAKE: Oh im sure youll get along great! Hes a cool dude and super smart. A little odd but he genuinely means well. JOHN: i'm looking forward to meeting everyone! JOHN: wait, i did meet him once, that's right. JOHN: back in the bad timeline, i saw him floating in space and asked him what happened, because i'd just come back from fighting calliope's brother. JOHN: but all he said was 'i failed' and then he... turned into glitter? JOHN: there were lots of glitches floating around, it was a hazard. JOHN: hopefully we can overcome that first impression. JAKE: ...yeah that sounds like dirk. JAKE: He can be pretty dramatic. JOHN: rose and dave are super dramatic too, he'll fit right in. JOHN: with all of us together it's going to be all drama all the time. JOHN: it will be up to us normal people to keep things under control. JAKE: He grew up all alone so sometimes i think he only knows how to act from movies too but who knows. Maybe it runs in families. JAKE: Family. Weird. JAKE: Hey that means were family too arent we? JOHN: i guess so! JOHN: you're my... JOHN: hm. JOHN: relative. JAKE: Relative. I guess. JAKE: I cant exactly go calling you great uncle john even if i still call jade "grandma". JAKE: Has a ring to it though! Great uncle john! Its all folksy like poppop crocker. JOHN: that's right, i was jane's grandpa in your universe, i guess. JOHN: which is also weird to think about. JOHN: and i was sort of everyone's dad, by mixing our slimes. JOHN: so it keeps getting more outrageous. JOHN: as for knowing how to act from movies... JOHN: i didn't even grow up alone, and i think sometimes i have that problem. JOHN: you want your life to make sense that way! JOHN: but real life is a lot more complicated sometimes. JAKE: Yeah!! JAKE: God yes it is. ESPECIALLY when it comes to romance. Good grief. JOHN: i know! JOHN: the movies make it look like it's essential or something, when usually in real life it mostly seems to cause trouble. JOHN: but you can't get a good ending otherwise, unless you accomplish that and a bunch of other arbitrary criteria. JOHN: most of which we haven't accomplished ourselves, but i think we're going to get a good ending anyway. JOHN: still it can mess with your head. JOHN: real life is not like the movies, that's for sure. JAKE: Its hard to have a romance going when your life is constantly under threat by skeleton monsters. JAKE: Also your first time seeing another person in ten years and your first boyfriend happen on like the same day. JOHN: see, that's how it happens in the movies sometimes. JOHN: the main characters meet up and get together right away, and i guess you have to assume it all works out, because the movie ends. JOHN: but when you're actually doing things it is not that convenient, you have to keep going. JOHN: although i hope we're going to get a break soon. JOHN: i would be happy for the credits to close on the constant heroics and dying for a while. JAKE: Me too. JAKE: I want a nap. Without an evil spider troll waking me up. JAKE: Movies also dont tell you how tiring the whole rigmarole of adventure is. JOHN: the main characters always look great, if fashionably ruffled, and they can keep going no matter what. JOHN: but i'm kind of tired. JOHN: especially since i've lived through the same hours twice in places i think? JAKE: You and your weird time travel nonsense again huh? JOHN: i will probably be mostly retiring that, i wouldn't want to cause any more trouble. JOHN: for now it looks like everything is turning out fine on its own. JAKE: Yessir i think were on the right path now and as soon as were done here im gonna take a long nap and anyone who cares to wake me up can throw down about it even if they are a hitherto-perfectly nice troll lady. Or human lady. Or anyone else. JAKE: The suplex of slumber justice is unisex. JOHN: that's the spirit! JOHN: we will all pass out and righteously beat up any one who disturbs us. JOHN: except hopefully once we are settled somewhere a little less exposed. JOHN: if we were asleep here someone might roll off. JAKE: But we can fly? JAKE: Where would we even fall? Towards the frog since its like a planet? Or... down? Were being pulled down by gravity i guess but how can we fall down if theres just space? JAKE: Would we float in our sleep? Maybe just get sucked back to the victory platform? JOHN: that sounds like a question for jade, she's more interested in how this works. JOHN: i told her science was dumb and boring if it didn't work the way i wanted, which made her upset, but i guess i got what i wanted. JOHN: so hah. JAKE: So science works how you want now? JAKE: Are you ganking my power set young man?? JOHN: not all of science, just space and time i guess. JOHN: and all of the scientific laws i am violating with my wanton displacement of matter and energy. JOHN: what ever those laws might be. JOHN: i am not a scientist or lawyer. JOHN: or science lawyer. JAKE: You fiend. Ah well as long as you dont go abusing your power im sure nothing terrible will happen. Like you flap your windy hood and cause a hurricane down south like an errant butterfly of causality. JOHN: well, i sort of lured lord english here, but i had to to save calliope, and we had to fight him anyway, so hopefully you can let that slide. JOHN: like i said, i will be taking it easy from now on. JAKE: I hear you there. Im over here asking myself do i even want to go wandering around this wonderland of dreaminess or do i just want to curl up over in that edge of the lily pad and have a nice snooze? JAKE: You know i can nap almost anywhere. I consider it a talent. JAKE: I have fallen asleep on clear grassy hills except thats probably not a good thing because centaurs can track through at any moment and they arent too careful about where they step! JOHN: jade was like that too! JOHN: although it MIGHT have partly been a troll messing with her brain again? JOHN: trolls sure are meddlesome. JOHN: anyway, this is probably our last chance to explore the dream bubbles, so maybe hold off on the naps until later. JOHN: also, centaurs? JAKE: Centaurs! JAKE: Oh yeah did i never say my island was full of alien monsters? JAKE: Because my island was full of alien monsters. JOHN: wow, your life actually WAS like a movie. JOHN: no wonder it was tempting to see yourself as an action hero. JOHN: everyone else had such weird and dramatic childhoods. JOHN: i don't have many bragging rights but JOHN: i liked mine. JOHN: i guess i'm one of the people that actually... left something ok behind? JOHN: but that's fine! because there can be ok things in the future too. JOHN: or hopefully more than ok. JAKE: I hope so. JAKE: I mean most things would probably be better than having to keep an eye out for monsters while walking to the pantry for canned friggin beets. JAKE: Not that i couldnt handle myself but beets arent worth that much. JOHN: bluch, no. JOHN: jade kept trying to make us eat our vegetables. JOHN: it was terrible. JOHN: she doesn't even know about lunchables. JAKE: My grandma ONLY stocked veggies. JAKE: And this weird stuff called spam. JOHN: i think our jade would probably have a heart attack if she saw spam. JOHN: although she does like raw beef these days. JOHN: which is a little alarming if you see her eat it. JAKE: I think she mostly included it as a courtesy to me and also i dont think theres many other great ways to keep meat. JAKE: So i hunted! Hopefully most of those creatures were edible and i didnt give myself any weird diseases. JOHN: the rest of you were like man versus wild! JOHN: including dave and rose kind of, even though they lived in real houses. JOHN: i will have to catch up if we are in some sort of survivor situation in the new universe. JOHN: i'm not really sure how that will pan out. JAKE: Youll be fine. Well watch your back! JAKE: Dirk will probably like. Invent a house if you give him long enough. JAKE: Just stick with jane and youll be fine. Shes kind of like you in that she also had a pretty cushy upbringing if you count out the assassination attempts. JAKE: Not that i hold it against her anything. We all take our lumps as theyre given. I mean she also has a dead grand- JAKE: Wait a minute. JAKE: Did you say you were...? JAKE: *Suspicious squinting.* JOHN: what? JAKE: Janes... JAKE: Poppop? JOHN: i... guess so? JOHN: that would make sense, she was my nanna. JOHN: oh man, was i also crushed to death by a flying baby? JOHN: that would be so undignified. JAKE: But hold the damn phone!! JAKE: You were ALSO jades brother in my timeline! JAKE: So if you were siblings and youre also janes poppop... JAKE: Would that make her and i... related?? JOHN: um... JOHN: not genetically? JOHN: but i think you were adopted siblings in our world. JAKE: !! JOHN: she grew up with a brother under a wicked alien queen. JOHN: which was betty crocker! JOHN: and the troll empress. JOHN: it is all connected. JAKE: So we were always family! JAKE: Gosh shell be so surprised to find out i bet. Just over the moon. JOHN: who doesn't want more family? JAKE: Of course! Good gravy aint that just like a movie. So many of us grow up without any family to speak of and we find out we were all family all along! JAKE: Consarnit id even call that some kind of irony. JOHN: at least it's a pretty crazy coincidence. JOHN: except since skaia set it up that way it's not a coincidence at all. JAKE: The chilly wind of fate whips through our unshielded undercarriages. JAKE: Get out of there skaia that zone is closed for business! JAKE: Its not enough to be whipping round my legs its gotta go and nab my shorts too... JAKE: Well ive had the last laugh. Ive got PANTS now! AND family! HAH! JOHN: well, fate or coincidence or whatever, I'M happy about it. JOHN: and i think both pants and family are important.

[expert-de-couteau]

drabble thing

    "I'm done." Kali had lived long enough under the control of her 'boyfriend' Elijah. His constant physical and psychological harassment had done a number on her self esteem, and it was only with her 'big brother's' help that she was ready to stand up to the man.     Despite how confident she looked at that point, Kali was terrified. She knew the older male had one hell of a temper when things didn't go his way. That was why she had put this off for so long.     It was his level of calmness at her statement that should have given the first red flag.     "Yeah, I kind of expected that. You don't listen to me nearly as much as you used to, sweetheart. In fact, I'd go as far to say that you go out of your way to disobey me like a real bitch." The words felt like needles pricking into her skin. His insults always did- but really? That was how he kept his grasp on people. He made them feel so completely special to the point where one practically grew addicted to his praise, and then tore down their heightened ego until they became an obedient shell of their former self.     That was not going to happen to her. Kali wouldn't allow it.

    He left the room immedietly afterwards. They both had to attend their next lessons for the day. Maybe that was why he had stayed calm? Was it just that he had to focus on preparing for his next lesson? While it was unlikely, Kali couldn't think of any other reason that would have fueled that reaction.     The next few days went by surprisingly well. The young assassin didn't meet up with Elijah even once. She could focus on herself first before worrying about what he'd do or say.     That happiness was bound to end at some point, right?

    It was about two weeks after the breakup when Kali met with disaster. She'd just gotten back to her room after a long day of training and classes and all sorts of stressful work, and she was looking forward to just getting a good night's rest. The redhead discarded her coat and headed for the mini fridge she kept in the room. Kali really should have figured that something was off when the drinks werent placed as she had left them. Alas, she just figured she'd moved them around in a hurry earlier that day or something.     She grabbed for a bottle of water from the front of the fridge and downed the contents quickly, having not had much to drink all day. The girl let out a breath and tossed the bottle in the trash can before flopping on her bed. She hadn't been that tired, but the moment she hit the soft comforter, she felt about ten times more relaxed than she had prior.

     I better get up and grab a snack and do some homework shit before I fall asleep here, she thought to herself. She didn't try to move for about 5 minutes. With a sigh of reluctance, Kali decided to get up and....

wait a second... she couldn't make herself get up. It was like she was bound by some invisible force that refused to let her free. Kali first assumed that she had just fallen into a light sleep that left her aware of her surroundings, although... no, that just didnt seem right. This... whatever. I'm in my own room so who the hell cares what's going on if... if...

    The door creaked open, the tall blond male she recently broke up with standing in the doorway with a few things in his hands. Tape, rope, a few knives... it would appear that he was planning to kill her.     "My my... and here I thought you'd hide when you felt the drug kick in. You do remember it, right?" He cooed, his tone far more gentle than his intentions.

   That was right! Kali remembered now, just a few weeks ago-- right before the breakup-- she'd been a test subject for a drug he was working on. Clear, void of flavor. Administered though consumption of a food or drink spiked with it. Effective, only taking a few minutes to fully immobilize the victim.    Kali mentally kicked herself. As soon as she'd felt her muscles begin to relax so quickly, she should've known. Now... now she was vulnerable. Funny- hadn't she always been vulnerable when it came to him? He'd always known what to do or say to get her to obey him. That was why she cut ties.

    He didn't like that. Not at all.     Elijah closed the door behind him and locked it before placing the items he brought with him on the bed beside her. "But no... instead, you fled here- your bed- of all places. Are you hinting at something, my dear? Is there... something you want?" A low chuckle escaped the man as he grabbed for a knife he'd brought.

    No... Kali couldn't protest. Even when she felt the cold steel of the blade make gentle contact with her arm. Then when it sliced through the strap of her bra and tank top.

    Elijah seemed all too thrilled with how little she reacted. He was aware of how she was probably feeling right now, and the fact that she'd been silenced- put in her place, so to speak- made him sickly amused. "Not gonna speak to me, hm? Giving me the cold shoulder? Oh... forgive me, you can't speak right now. Can't make a sound to... to protest if my hand just slips-" He created a small incision on her upper back before discarding the knife. "I should help you get ready for bed-- now, you cant wear those clothes to bed. I guess I have to undress you.~" A laugh--deep, calm, and lustful--sounded from the man as he slipped off her top and trailed his fingers lightly down her back until he reached the hem of her jeans. Then, he tugged her jeans and panties down, leaving Kali without anything but her socks on. Elijah gave a contented sigh.

"Now what am I going to do with you first?" Elijah cooed, moving to lean on top of her and caress her breasts. He planted a few gentle kisses on the girl's neck before leaving a bite, sucking on the spot he'd bitten to leave hickey (which he made sure was in an obvious spot that would be a pain to cover up). "I think I'll take your virginity in the only place I havent yet--but first..." One of his hands moved downward to slip a finger into Kali. Then two. "I also spiked your drink with an aphrodisiac. Now you'll get to enjoy all of this as much as I do." He left a few more marks on her neck and upper back as he fingered her before getting up completely. "But I still have to punish you... so..." He grabbed something from the pile of stuff  he'd brought: a riding crop. Without much warning whatsoever, he hit her with it. Then he hit her again. And again. This continued for five whole minutes, leaving Kali with some spots even bleeding by the time it was over. Tears ran down her face and a few squeaks meant to be screams left her. "Now we can get to the good part. I'm going to turn you over, okay darling?" How his tone could sound so loving still, she didn't understand. Elijah was gentle this time as he moved her onto her back. Kali wanted to cry as her sheets were stained with her own blood from the injuries the riding crop made. She was crying, in fact. The blonde took off his shirt and tossed it aside, soon doing the same with his pants and boxers. He towered over her, jacking himself off for a moment as he observed her naked body. "I don't want to risk having to deal with child support or anything, so I'm not doing this unprotected. I thought about it, but luckily for you, I can be reasonable when the mood strikes me." He removed a condom from his discarded jeans and carefully put it on before climbing onto the bed with her. "Ah... you're so beautiful like this... it's a shame--what I'm going to do to you after all of this..." He was gentle at first as he thrust into her, but that didnt last too long. Elijah was known for being fast and rough with this sort of thing, and he could remain like this for quite a while without getting close to climax. He made sure to leave scratch marks on her chest, breasts, and stomach as he fucked her. Every single mark was a reminder that she was his no matter what she said. After fifteen minutes, he pulled out and removed the condom, breathing heavily. "Here's the really fun part. You've never done anal, Kali... and you know how painful people say it is... I almost wish you could scream right now. Ahh... that would make this even better." He grabbed her by her torso and tugged her to the edge of the bed, flipping her back onto her stomach. "S... st..." She was trying to say stop, but her ability to speak hadnt really returned yet. Just barely. Her fingers twitched as she thought about grabbing for a knife and stabbing him to death. It would be justified, after all. Justified... but impossible right now anyway. Elijah used the natural lube from Kali in order to lube up his dick before slowly penetrating the girl's asshole. While it felt remarkable to Elijah, Kali was pained so much by it that she was able to force herself to let out a small yelp--once again meant to be a scream, but it was still a sign of how much this hurt her. While he'd been gentle with starting out in the other hole, he didn't give this the same treatment. He was most certainly rough with her now. His breathing grew heavier and heavier, Kali's sounds of anguish becoming louder and louder as the drug started to wear off. When Elijah finally came inside of her ass, she full-out screamed... only to have him shove her face down into the sheets to muffle it. She was definitely struggling now, but he was stronger than her and had little trouble with holding her down. "Shhh... I need you to be good for me. We're going to sneak into the boy's dorms together... what a little slut you are, with how you're going to leave yourself exposed for all the guys there. How should I leave you tied? Hm...." This only made her struggle harder, even managing to make a break for the door before he grabbed her by the arm and tugged her back, placing a rag over her mouth. Without realizing it, she let out a gasp of surprise... ...and drifted back into a world of vulnerability. Only, this time, she had no clue what was happening to her. She was unconscious. When she would eventually wake, Kali would find herself bound, gagged, and surrounded by ‘friends’ of Elijah’s in abandoned room within the boy’s dorms. 

@thetrollzaya here so you can read it))

[b00bstone]

"Talk to me" all the odd #'s pls!

are you the same person that asked about the evens on that other ask? this is long so im putting in a read more 

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

i dont have one? 

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

oh. well. um. i still know them. altho those feelings have subsided quite a lot. theyre confusing af… like when my feelings were the worst they kept giving all these mixed signals. and uuuggghhh. but yeah other than being confusing and dumb at times (all people are) theyre nice. and theyve been there for me through a lot of shit. even tho they didnt have to be. theyre taller than me. theyre chill. and a good friend. 

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

i think it was my 5th birthday. all my other birthdays that i can remember have been a bit dissapointing. my family and my then bestie smelly bellys family went to a park near our houses. and had food. and the thing i remember most was smelly and i were throwing around this weird rubber band thing? and the weather was really great. i mean its california and july… 

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

im insecure about my intelligence and worth. like im dumb af. i always have been. and being smart is kinda held in high esteem…. and im also really insecure about the fact ive never kissed anyone. or dated anyone. or ever gotten asked out on a date. 

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

i like the color my eyes are in the sunlight. sometimes my eyebrows look AMAZING (not today tho :/) and i love it when that happens. my hair sometimes gets a lil curly. i have a nice butt. imo anyway. and i rather like my boobs.

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

i dunno? i had a dream once where the person i was crushing on at the time told me they missed me over and over. and that was nice. 

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time

i imagine it will be very awkward. but hopefully fun. mostly awkward tho. i hope it feels good. for both of us (whoever the other person is). ive always imagined it would be with someone i really really trust or a one night stand. altho with the way my life is going ill probably never have sex. 

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

i dunno. i havent felt content in quite a while so… 

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

i dunno. i dont really know any one irl that i wanna be friends with that im not. i mean i wanna be friends with thomas sanders but i dont know him at all 

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

i was an annoying bitch. also me and my friend smelly had a bit of a falling out. that happens in middle school tho lmao. 

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

for like a date? thats never happened. 

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

okay. so i hope they never read this because i hope theyve forgotten about it. but the first time i ever asked someone out was last fall. i know i know im nearly 18 and it wasnt till last year that i asked someone out? so anyway. our mutual friend monkey was like trying to convince me to ask them out for like 6 months before i did. the person in question had gone through a breakup and monkey wanted them to move on already i guess i dunno. and so like i knew they didnt like me. but then there was this thing and so i was like wiat do they? so i asked them about it. and they were like “no i dont like you” and i was like okay then wtf was all that?!?! and they were like well i guess i didnt realize i liked u and i was like okay???? so would u be willing to date and they were like no not really but they seemed really vagu about it so i was like so wait is that a yes willing to date or no???? it was a no. but anyway monkey continued to bug me to ask them out. so i, being the bumbling baffoon that i am asked them hypothetically if they would date me. they said yes. even tho i expected them to say no. then while i was freaking out about that and trying to think of what to do next they said no. which made me a little upset because if ur gonna say no u should just say it in the first place (dont mess with peoples feelings kids its rude). and so then i got upset and said some mean things and yeah. we went back to being friends.and if they do read this. im sorry dude. really really really sorry. 

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

well smelly is an ex bestie. smelly and i are still friends but not like best friends. shes chill. when we were super close it wasnt exactly a healthy relationship. she was a bit of a bully. i was selfish and went back on my word all the time. but like shes super chill now. she gets in trouble with her mom a lot tho which sucks. 

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

ummmmm im afraid that this is gonna come out sounding like i have a crush on them but i dont. no realy feelings for anyone at the mo. i like pretty all my friends’ hair and eyes. i especially like heathers hair and adis eyes. 

29: Talk about what turns you on.

confidence. like in the new thor movie trailers theres that woman who breaks his hammer like that kinda confidence where u and everyone in the rooom knows ur the biggest baddest thing around like damn son. 

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

it depends on how u die? i mean besides the whole pain thing i think its kinda peaceful. u know u get that feeling of complete and utter contentment and just kinda fade away. i dont know what happens next. but i think thats what the end of dying and beginning of being dead is like. 

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

cry. watch funny things. get on tumblr. try and make myself more miserable. and if it gets to a really bad point ill try and talk to someone about stuff. but i mainly just try and cheer myself up or emotionally wound myself. 

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

i wish i could stop being so afraid if everything. i wish i could stop falling for people that dont and never will fall for me. i wish i could stop being depressed. and easily stressed. 

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

ive already mentioned them twice. i think thats enough times for one post. but they like superheros. a lot. like the amount of enthusiasm you would expect from a 5 year old. it can be adorable. except when ur tired and just want everyone to leave u alone and never speak to u again.they dont like rhe beach. which is something i just cant understand at all. how do u not like the beach! they have kind eyes. and i honestly have no idea how i had such strong feelings for them. theres nothing wrong with them and theyre a really cool person that almost anyone would be lucky to have but like i just like u look at someone through a different lense and its just different. itd be like me trying to imagine having feelings for adi or heather. its just weird. theyre going away to college next fall. which im kinda bummed about but thats mostly because im not going to college this fall except community college. they wanna do something with art orfilms i think. he pronounces my name wrong. sometimes. but sometimes he prnounces it right. we are friends on fb. it says right there on my proflie how to pronounce it. we have talked and i have told him my name. like its not that hard! its like the thing that pisses me off the second most of things he does/has done. 

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

to do well in higher grades u need to understand stuff u learn n elementary and middle school really well. thats all that i can think of thats not really sad and depressing at the mo. 

thanks for asking me all these questions anon! ily