#anyways going back to bed now gonna try and force myself to stop thinking about my cold blorbos. no easy feat! :-)

[andrew-rannells-mustache]

Too tired to write a deep analysis post rn but do you think there’s some significance in EC carving EC on his sea chest (maybe/possibly at the beginning of the voyage) -> “Hickey” carving Hickey and CH on the Hickey knife (maybe/possibly sometime in mutiny camp/after the walkout)?? Like he carves his old name/initials on stuff when he’s becoming someone new or starting a new chapter. Carves EC into his sea chest as they set off -> casts off EC’s identity to become Cornelius Hickey. Carves Hickey onto his knife once he’s in mutiny camp -> casts off any name/identity to (attempt and obviously fail to) become Tuunbaq’s shaman. Reconfigure reinvent rearrange etc etc. Does this make any sense or is this just a bunch of words thrown together

[cameronluvr]

BABY TRAPPED — dark!rafe x fem reader

summary: rafe purposely gets you pregnant against your own will after you choose the pogues instead of him.

warnings: 18+ !!, DUBCON, forced pregnancy, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, dark!rafe, arguing, fighting, choking, SMUT, fingering, slapping, unprotected sex (p in v) forced sex, jealous!rafe, kinda stalker!rafe, kidnapping(?), creampie, teen pregnancy. (lmk if anymore!)

: ̗̀➛ 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ PART 2

you had been at john b’s chateau for most of the day hanging out with your friends, but you’d promised your parents you’d be home before midnight. looking at the time on your phone, you noticed it was 11:13 pm.

you’d been drinking a little bit, and so had your friends, so driving home wasn’t an option. “guys, i’m gonna need to leave soon” you say over the mild volume of music playing.

“why?” kiara asks. “my parents told me i had to be home before 12. they’re kinda worried about me because of the whole.. you know.. rafe thing” you reply.

over the past few weeks you’d been going through a rough breakup with rafe. you couldn’t handle him anymore. his anger, his jealousy, his everything. he was no good for you anymore, and with the whole rafe vs pogues situation, you had to pick a side. your boyfriend or your best friends.

you had to pick your friends. there was no other choice, no other way out. rafe had tormented your friends for months. he pulled his gun on them, he beat them up, he attempted to kill kiara and his own sister sarah. and he almost killed you.

you’d lost track of how many fights you had with him, how many times he hit you and you hit him back. the screaming wars you’d have always ended up with him choking you or slapping you, and ward having to physically pull him away from you.

you just couldn’t put up with him anymore. he was manipulative, toxic, and most of all abusive. your friends knew about all of this, and tried so hard to get you away from him, but you couldn’t escape from him. he’d always convince you otherwise, guilt trip you, lie to you, twist your words…

“ya’ want me to walk you home?” jj asks, sitting beside you, smoking his blunt. you think about it for a second, but decline his offer. “thanks, but i’m okay, really. i’ll be fine” you nod and smile. “you sure?” sarah asks from across the room as they all practically look at you as if you were crazy. rafe was crazy, and if he saw you alone, only god knows what he would do…

“yeah, i’m good. i think i need to be alone anyway. take a nice walk by myself” you shrug. you hadn’t really had much alone time in months, considering you had a boyfriend glued to your hip out of distrust.

“okay, well, please call us if you need us, m’kay?” sarah says, walking over to you to hug you. she’s worried for you the most, you’re her best friend and her own brother is ruining your life. “i will, promise” you smile, standing up to hug her tightly.

“love you, y/n” kiara says with a smile as you walk out the door, saying bye to them all. you blow a kiss to kie before shutting the door behind you. they all know you’re going through a tough time, so they’re trying their best to be there for you and look out for you. they all love you.

walking home now, you stroll down the dark, long road ahead, with nothing surrounding you but tall trees and dim streetlights. no people, no lit-up houses, just dark and quiet streets with people in bed.

you walk for ten more minutes before you hear a car approaching from behind you. you give it no thought though, not wanting to worry yourself. the car gets closer, as if it were going to drive straight past you, but suddenly, you hear the car slowing down and eventually stopping right next to you. you don’t want to look, but you have to.

your heart sank into your chest when you noticed rafe’s black range rover, right as the window rolled down. it was rafe. “y/n get in.” his tone demanding and angry. “no, leave me alone.” you quickly turn around, power walking away. however, he only follows you. he slowly drives, following you, speeding up and slowing down whenever you do.

“y/n just get in i wanna talk” he says out the window, resting his arm on it as he watches you, attempting to talk to you. “rafe, leave me the fuck alone.” your voice gets louder, but you’re not yelling, yet. “save yourself the hassle and get in for fuck’s sake” he says, getting more frustrated by the second.

“no” you say, not looking in his direction at all. “oh my god” he says, sighing before putting the car in park and getting out. “no, go away!” you say, attempting to run but he grabs you before you can. you thrash around in his arms before he picks you up and drags you to his car.

“put me down!” you yell at him, trying to fight him but he is much stronger than you are. he opens the passenger door, shoving you inside before quickly getting in the drivers seat and locking the doors.

“what the fuck are you d—” you scream at him before his hand roughly covers your mouth, shutting you up. “i just wanted to talk, but you always have to make it hard, don’t you?” he says, eventually letting go of your mouth and seeing a mark left over from how tight his grip was.

“i don’t want to fucking talk! you yell as he rolls the windows all the way up so nobody can hear you fussing. “i don’t care. who the fuck do you think you are?” he yells at you, making you flinch. “what?” your eyebrows furrow.

“choosing those fucking trash pogues over me. are you serious? dumping me for them?” he argues. you’ve had this argument with him plenty of times, he seems to not be able to let it go. or let you go. “rafe. i didn’t want to be your girlfriend anymore, okay? you’re abusive, you’re mean, you’re—” you say, only to be cut off by his laughter. “abusive? for wanting to protect you? for wanting the best for you? right” he squints his eyes. “wanting the best for me? are you serious? you’ve done nothing but hurt me, and hurt my friends, including your own sister, by the way!” you argue, but he scoffs and tuts, as if they were nothing.

“because i told you so many fucking times to stay away from them, didn’t i?” he screams in your face, watching as you flinch with fear. “yeah, you did, but they are my friends, rafe, sarah is my best friend and you tried to kill her? she’s your fucking sister you should love her more than you love me” you say, voice getting higher out of frustration for him. how can he be so naive and cruel?

“her? she’s no sister of mine. that bitch has always been against me” he scoffs, speaking so lowly of his own little sister. “no she hasn’t, rafe!” you try to tell him, but every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie according to his delusions.

“right, whatever.” he rolls his eyes at you and your ‘lies’, but he just doesn’t want to accept the truth. he’s the problem, he turned everyone against himself. “i love you, yeah? i never stopped” he suddenly says, looking at you.

“well i have.” you say, but hearing those words were gut wrenching to him. you crossed the line. he unexpectedly and quickly reaches over, grabbing you by the throat and squeezing his fingers.

“i never wanna hurt you, y/n. you make me do it. i want to love you, but when you’re running off with your little friends behind my back, you make it hard to trust you, yeah?” he explains in his usual manipulative tone.

“rafe…” you force out, feeling as his grip tightens, his nails basically digging into your skin. “can you let me love you like i want to? like i’ve been trying to?” he asks, watching as your face turns redder and redder.

he loves watching you struggle, it was his favorite part of having power over you. it’s like it turns him on to hurt you. “please.. stop…” you struggle to say as he just keeps begging for your love.

“y/n, let me show you how much i really love you. please?” he asks softly, looking at you with adoration as if his own hand isn’t almost causing you to lose consciousness. he was psychotic. “ok.. ok.. yeah.. just let me go” you choke, nodding your head as fast as you can. you didn’t want to agree, but you had to otherwise he wasn’t going to stop.

and who knows what he would’ve done if you had passed out? you’d dread to think. “yeah? atta’ girl. i knew you’d come to terms with me sooner or later” he says, smiling as if he didn’t force the right answer out of you. he lets go of your throat, loving the sound of you gasping for air and regaining your breath.

you wanted to hit him so bad, you wanted to insult him and call him names but most importantly, you didn’t want him to actually kill you. “let’s go somewhere private, hm?” he suggests, like you could say no. you stay silent in his passenger seat, nodding at everything he’s saying, submitting to your fear of him.

he puts the car into gear and begins driving off. he drives five minutes down the road before turning down an off road path which lead to the lake, but he stopped in the secluded path surrounded by more trees, and more darkness.

turning his engine off, he turns to face you. “do you love me?” he asks. you’re terrified to answer. you’d be lying if you said yes, but if you said no, you’d find out. “…yes” you gulp, fearing him deeply. “good girl” he smirks, smelling your fear like a dog could.

he loves it. he loves you being afraid to say something he doesn’t want to hear, that’s the first step to being the perfect girlfriend in his eyes, you always know the right answer.

he turns in his seat to face you, reaching his hand over to your thigh. he rubs it, trailing his hand up and closer to your pussy, but you shift your legs the other way to move his hand away, making him grab your thigh and moving it back to where it was.

“don’t act like you don’t want it. you just said you love me” he leans over, darkly whispering in your ear which sent shivers down your spine. “i.. i do” you lie, not wanting to send him over the edge. he smirks at your words, leaning his head down to your neck to kiss it. you don’t want his touch, but you need it.

“rafe…” you whisper, trying your best not to want it but it’s difficult when he’s kissing your neck and moving his hand up your thigh again, only this time you don’t move your legs when he gets close to your pussy. you’re wearing jeans, so you feel his hand unbuttoning them which made you nervous, but you let it happen anyway.

“what baby?” he whispers, lifting his head from your neck to look at you. “i—” you say, cut off by the feeling of his cold hand slipping into your jeans. you jump at the temperature of his skin, which made him laugh. “come on, just take it” he licks his lips, looking at yours before kissing them. you kiss him back, and eventually start making out with him.

mid kiss, his hand slips into your panties, making you hum a moan. “you like that?” he asks, rubbing circles on your clit before breaking the kiss. “mhm” you hum, but his other hand reaches behind your head and grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back. “use your words, princess” he tells you, his dark eyes staring into yours. “…yes.” you hesitate to say, but you go along with it for your own safety and his sanity.

“hmm.. good” he smirks, letting go of your hair and kissing you again before his hand slid down your pussy, to your hole. you gasp at his sudden movement, but he chuckles at you. “you’re so wet. i’m always turning you on, huh?” he says, opening his mouth and mocking your gasp.

you chuckle too, wanting him to know you’re on the same page. after seconds of his fingers teasing your hole, he slides two of them into you. you gasp, moaning as his fingers fill you up to his knuckles. “so deep..” you moan, tensing up in your seat at his touch.

but it wasn’t long before he had you stripped off and sitting on his lap with the seat pushed all the way back. “fuck” he moans at the sight of your pretty tits, his hands grabbing your ass cheeks.

“if we do this… will you leave me alone after?” you ask, terrified to say but it needed to be said. “yeah, of course, i promise” he says like it’s nothing, like he didn’t even hear those words come out of your mouth. you were expecting a different reaction, but he had a different plan.

you felt like you had to have sex with him one last time for him to be able to move on from you. or so you thought that’s how it would be. “i love you, but if i need to leave for you to be happy, then i will” he says, almost believably.

but that was a lie.

pulling his boxers off allowed his hard dick to spring out, hitting your leg. you both giggle before starting to make out again, where his hands slid from your ass cheeks to your hips, his fingers twirling the sides of your panties before pulling them down and off your feet.

“ride me, princess” he says, both of your warm areas touching. you nod, lifting yourself up and positioning yourself above his cock before his hands roughly gripped your waist, pulling you to sit down on it.

you let out a loud moan of pain and pleasure. “fuuuck” he drags, closing his eyes as he pulled you up and down, choosing the speed and roughness for you. your moans cried out, you didn’t know if it hurt or felt good more.

“i missed you so much. i missed this pussy” he tells you, his hands roaming your naked back as his dick harshly thrusts up into you. “i missed you” you say, knowing you didn’t mean a single word. your horniness and desire to please him took over.

“you’re mine, baby” he tells you, his fingernails digging into your hips, making you cry out. he was so good at pleasing your pussy that you ruled out the pain he caused. “…always” you say, starting to question whether or not he was being honest about leaving you alone.

his pace is rough, he’s fucking you so harshly that you don’t think he’s ever gone this hard on you before. it hurts, but it hurts so good. “ow.. fuck.. rafe” you moan loudly like a porn star. “that’s it, baby” he says, feeling closer and closer to coming each time he thrust up into you.

your legs start to burn and ache, and he can tell by how much your legs are shaking. so he pulls you off of him, and guides you into the back seats where he climbs over after you.

he lays you down on your back, spreading your bodies over the three seats. he positions his cock near your pussy again, before sliding in with no warning. you moan, wrapping your arms around his back and gripping his shoulders. “fuckkk” he moans in your ear, making you much wetter. no matter how much you hate rafe cameron, his moans were your weakness.

the rougher and meaner he got, the more aroused he was. it wasn’t long before he started choking you, and slapping you around. it’s what he does during sex. he loves the power, he loves the dominance he has over you. you allowed it, though, because this was the last time. right?..

minutes later, you you felt him speeding up and becoming more tense, which meant he was gonna finish any second now. you, however, weren’t even close to finishing. it did feel good, but it didn’t change your feelings for him. you can’t come over somebody you hate so much.

“fuck baby.. ‘m gonna cum…” he says, twitching his dick as he empties his load into you. you moan at the feeling of his warm cum filling you up and leaking out after. he slowly pulls out, smirking knowing he’s hiding a huge secret from you.

he snuck into your house a few days ago while you were out with the pogues, and swapped your birth control pills for fake ones. but you had no idea…

it wasn’t until two weeks later when you were throwing up in your toilet, and crying your eyes out when you realized you’d missed your period. “fuck” you say, grabbing an emergency pregnancy test from the cabinet above the sink. you had them hidden in there just in case.

you take the pregnancy test, pacing around your bathroom for five minutes straight, waiting for the results. boom. the alarm you’d set on your phone goes off, five minutes is up. you switch the alarm off and gulp, slowly reaching for the pregnancy test. you pick it up, and gasp when you read the answer.

POSITIVE.

what the fuck are you supposed to do now?…

NOT PROOFREAD. probably some mistakes, but my FIRST smut writing?!?!😩😩 plssssss lmk what y’all think! <333

@cameronluvr

[specshroom]

★ - Some assistance

You and your boyfriend are lounging on the couch in the living room, winding down after a long day. He's drinking his evening tea and reading while you unsuccessfully distract yourself by flicking through channels on the TV. You decide to just come out and ask what you've been meaning to ask for awhile now.

"Kento? Do you think you could make me squirt?"

This poor man chokes on his tea and almost messes it on his home shirt. He just looks at you with a face that says "Why would you ask me something like that so suddenly?" You just look at him deadpan waiting for his response. He clears his throat and composes himself, realising it was a somewhat serious question and his girlfriend (soon to be fiancé, hopefully) wasn't just playing some dumb joke. 

"Well... I'm sure I could try, Y/n. But why bring that up so out of the blue, if you mind me asking."

He responds, as polite as always. He makes you feel so safe in his presence it's almost supernatural.

"Uh... I've just been thinking about it for awhile, I guess." He places his mug on the coffee table, the one that says "Live, Laugh, Love" in exaggerated curly font, courtesy of Gojo. He doesn't know why you insist on making his tea in that mug but he drinks it every time anyway. He brings your legs into his lap and lightly massages them silently asking you to continue. 

"I'm just curious to see if I can is all. Whenever I've tried to do it myself, I always just get too sensitive and stop, but... If I had someone else do it, I think I might actually be able to."

You explain this to him almost like a scientist explains their hypothesis, like you've thought about it for awhile. He rubs under your shins and thinks for a bit. he would very much like to be the one to make you squirt and he's confident in his abilities but he also doesn't want you to be upset if you end up not being able to do it.

"I also just think it would be really hot if you made me squirt." 

That breaks him out of his thoughts with a disbelieving huff. 

"The problem is that when I get sensitive I'm gonna be yelling for you to stop out of second nature. But you can't stop Kento, you have to keep going until I either squirt or say the safe word. Can you do that, Baby?" Nanami looks up at your serious face, you really have thought about this quite a bit. He nods his head, sealing the deal. You just stare at eachother for a moment longer, the TV still going in the back. You break out in a smile, unable to keep the semi-serious atmosphere. 

"Can- can we do it now?" You ask the man on the opposite end of the couch while you try and stifle a giggle. 

Nanami smiles and pulls you closer to him by your legs. You yelp as you get yanked into his lap where he attacks your neck with kisses. He hoists you up and starts walking to the bedroom. Once he sets you onto your shared bed, you start removing your shirt and shorts while he rummages in the cupboard for a towel that he puts down on the bed before undressing himself.

You're almost shaking with excitement and anticipation. Nanami sits against the headboard in nothing but his boxers, placing the towel on the bed in front of him. He watches as you turn to him with that sultry look in your eyes. You crawl your way up the bed on all fours until you're right between his muscular thighs. Your hands glide up his thighs and waist, you kiss him with need and he reciprocates. You break the connection to feel yourself up infront of him and sensually take off your bra. You present yourself to him and kiss him again before turning around and pressing your back to his chest. 

His hands go to your waist to gently squeeze and rub there. You spare no flare when taking off your panties and you adjust yourself so that both your legs are wide open, slightly bent and his stronger ones are over yours, forcing them to stay open.

"Put your legs like this so that it stops me from closing mine when it gets too sensitive." 

You say as you help him into the position you want. Nanami chuckles and bends down to say lowly into your ear.

"You really have thought this whole thing through, huh?" 

You flush and nod your head as his hand moves down your body to where you want him the most. His touch is gentle at first, lightly stroking down your clit and lips, gathering wetness with his fingers. He starts to work his finger into you and gently rubs your clit with the other hand, coaxing you to melt into his touch. You start moaning and groaning with the pleasure your wonderful boyfriend is giving you. 

With both his hands working on your pussy so diligently, it's no wonder your first orgasm washes over you pretty quickly. Nanami keeps going at the same steady pace after you cum and it's the first out of the ordinary occurrence in this session. You usually would get a grace period after you cum to come down from the high but you and Nanami have a goal. The fact that you get no chance to come down at all is fucking with your brain and the fucked out feeling is just multiplying every second his strong hands play with your pussy. 

Nanami lays back a bit, forcing you to also lay back and expose yourself a bit more as you begin to writhe and squirm. One hand is still diligently circling your clit as he works his two middle fingers into you, slamming into that perfect spot inside you over and over and over again. You get louder and more frantic as the second orgasm hits you. Your head falls back on Nanamis chest as you groan his name. 

"Uuuuh Fuck! Feels so good Kento, soo good, so good, s' good, s' good, s' gud." You mumble and moan to him. Your second orgasm hits you full force and the pleasure doesn't stop or slow down, in fact it only gets more intense. He doesn't even slow down despite you're kicking legs and bucking hips.

Nanami eventually brings you to a third orgasm, now things really start to feel sensitive and your whines and cries of overstimulation get louder but the man doesn't tire. He keeps going, mumbling things like "Cmon, cmon Love." And "You can do it Darling". 

Before you know it the fourth wave hits you like a train, this is where you get frantically desperate as you realize he isnt even slowing down. You're now actively trying to get out of his iron hold, trying to close your legs just a little but his strong thighs keep you open for him. You're squirming and struggling and crying out.

"Wait wait wait wait!".

Your pussy is so raw and sensitive, you almost beg him to slow down but the man is going even stronger now. He's more precise with his movements, touching all the right spots with just the right amount of force to make you weep. 

"Wait Ken! It's sensitive, stoooop stopstopstop!" You hands go to his to try and make him slow down a little but Nanami isn't having any of that. You set out a goal for yourself and clear rules. He is going to make sure you reach your goals like the good partner he is.

He cages your arms against your chest with one arm hugged around you while the other still goes at your clit, rubbing frantic but deliberate circles into the pink flesh with his callous palm. The wet slick sounds of your pussy being bullied by the man you love are drowned out by the sounds coming from your mouth.

You're screaming now, legs shaking and kicking, not nearly strong enough to budge against Nanami's thick thighs forcing them wide open. Your entire body begins convulsing and spasming, you swear you feel like you're going to pee but you don't even have the mind to be concerned about that. You can only scream an intelligible jumble of pleas at this point as your nails dig into his arm. 

"Cmon Honey, just one more f'me, your doing so well."

The praise makes you go even dumber as you're quickly brought to the end of your rope. The last strand snaps and a tidel wave of violent hot pleasure comes crashing down on your entire being. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your screams turn to silent hiccups and overwhelmed chokes.

Your body convulses violently and your back arches off Nanamis chest as he holds you tightly to his chest. It's by far the most intense orgasm of your life and you don't even register the jet of clear liquid shooting out from you untill you hear Nanamis loud groan at the sight.

"There you go, that's my girl."

You're brought back to earth and let out a long groan as Nanami presses up on the hood of your clit to force more squirt out of you, the feeling is even more euphoric than you thought it could ever be. 

Nanami pats your pussy, making sure he gets every last drop out as your wetness trickles down your pussy and ass onto the towel Nanami set down, which was definitely not enough to keep the bed dry. You drop your body completely limp onto Nanamis chest as you both catch your breath.

Nanami releases your arms and your hand immediately goes to cup your swollen, abused pussy with a whine. Nanami chuckles and runs his hands down your back and around your waist, soothing you, bringing you down gently while mumbling little praises. You curl up on top of him and dig your face into his neck with another small whine. 

"Love you s'much." You mumble into his hot skin. He chuckles at you once again. 

"I love you too, Baby."

-★

[jenniferjareauwife]

On Repeat

pairing: jennifer jareau x cowgirl fem reader

category: hurt/comfort

warnings: rape

word count: 1063

summary: it's around the anniversary of when you were raped but you haven't told jj so she keeps trying to initiate sex but you're not in the mood

JJ's hand rode a bit higher up my thigh, caressing it teasingly as she bit her lip. I was watching tv but her eyes were only on me. "Look at me baby." She demanded in a low voice.

"I'm not in the mood Jayje." I mumbled, putting her hand on my knee instead of my upper thigh. She sighed and squeezed my knee. I could tell she wanted to say something but was holding back. "What is it?"

"Did I do something?" Her voice was small. I furrowed my brows.

"What do you mean?"

"I've tried to initiate sex probably a thousand times the last few weeks and you've turned me down every time. It's ok if you don't want to have sex but you've never turned me down this many times before. So...did I do something to make you mad? Or uncomfortable?"

"No you didn't do anything." I huffed and got up to get some water. I didn't realize she had noticed I was turning sex down so much and I didn't realize she was thinking it was because of her.

"Then what is it baby?" She got off my couch and walked over to me, hugging me from behind. "We see each other two days a week...and I love having sex with you. I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't want to do. It's ok if you don't want to have sex that's completely fine...I just want to know what's wrong."

"Nothings wrong JJ, ok?" I gripped my glass tightly.

"Ok...ok I'll stop pushing. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here." I nodded and went to my room for some alone time, crying into my pillow so quietly she couldn't hear.

When I went to DC the next weekend to see her she tried to initiate sex again. I didn't have the heart to tell her no, especially after I realized that she thought it was her fault. So I gave in and the next thing I knew I was naked on her bed. She kissed down my neck lovingly while I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to suppress memories I had tried so hard to forget. "You're so fucking beautiful baby." She moaned against my neck. "I can't wait to make you feel good. Get up. I wanna hit it from the back." My heart dropped but I did it anyways. I rolled over onto my stomach and she lifted my hips so my ass was in the air. This was the exact position I was in when it happened. I tried to tell myself it was JJ. It wasn't him, it was my beautiful, loving girlfriend who would never do anything to hurt me.

No matter what I told myself my brain kept spiraling. My mouth was dry and the memories were playing on repeat. I felt her like herself up and I froze, my whole body just stopped working. Suddenly I was the 19 year old girl again who got raped in the back of a bar. "Hey...hey baby." I felt JJ's hand on the small of my back. I didn't feel the tip of the strap anymore. Did she realize something was wrong? "Hey hey hey baby talk to me." I tried to speak but my voice caught in my throat. "It's ok. Can you get onto your back for me?" I did as she said very slowly. It was taking so much brainpower just to move my limbs. "Good girl."

"JJ." I was able to say her name.

"Yeah baby? What is it?" She reached out to touch my face and I gave her a small nod, telling her she could.

"I can't...I can't do it I'm sorry. I thought I could but I can't." I sniffled, my bottom lip quivering.

"That's ok my love. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." She caressed my cheek gently, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. "And I know you might not want to talk about it right now but I need to know what happened. What made you react this way?" My lip trembled at the thought of telling her. Would she even look at me the same way? She looked at me with soft, loving eyes and it took me everything in me not to break down.

"I-I when I was 19..." I trailed off, avoiding eye contact. I wasn't going to be able to do it if I was looking at her.

"Would it be better if you couldn't see me?" JJ asked softly. I nodded so she got behind me. "Is it ok if I spoon you?" I nodded so she draped her arm over my waist, pulling me as close to her as possible.

"When I was 19...I was in a bar." I sniffled. "I had a fake ID and I wanted to go out with some friends, you know? Normal dumb teen stuff." JJ pressed kisses on my back from behind, calming me down. "A-and I met this guy. I think he liked me or something cause he kept trying to talk to me. I-I told him I wasn't interested but he kept talking to me." I let out a choked sob.

"Oh baby." She cooed, rubbing my stomach. She knew where this was going.

"I don't really remember what happened after that...I just know...that the next thing I remembered-" I got cut off by a shaky breath. "I was in the back of the bar- and he was behind me." I sniffled. "Thrusting into me."

"My love I'm so sorry that happened to you. Did it trigger you when I got you into that position?" I nodded.

"It's around the anniversary."

"So all those memories are coming back up, huh?" She kissed my shoulder and stroked my hair.

"Mhm. And I know I should've told you sooner-"

"Hey. None of that." She kissed my ear and my jaw. "You tell me things on your own time." I relaxed and pressed my back further into her. She held me tighter before kissing the back of my head. "You're safe with me baby."

"Thank you...for making me feel safe."

"I'm glad you feel safe with me. I'm happy to be your safe space whenever you need me to be. I love you so much. Don't you ever forget that."

"I love you too."

[backtothefanfiction]

All The Good Girls Go To Hell | TF!Boys Mafia AU~ Part ONE

Summary: When Phoenix comes home to find her fiancé banging some other girl, her whole life changes seemingly overnight. Forced to go back and live with her Dad, she's about to be dragged into a life with the men her Dad is indebted to.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY (Mature Content), Dark Mafia Romance Au, setting things on fire, swearing, dead parent, debt, mental health issues, brain tumour, broken family, anger issues (female rage), AFAB OFC, objectification of the female body, pyromania, little bit of theft (smut to come)

Word Count: 3.8K

A/N: I didn't need to have yet another idea for a story. I also didn't need to write it straight away, but I recently read Den of Vipers and figured I could do something better featuring the Triple Frontier boys. I don't know how many parts of this there will be, or how regularly this will ultimately be updated, but I thought I'd share anyway. Smut will come, featuring all four guys this time. This will use an ofc but apart from the hair, there aren't too many descriptors. This will also be written from multiple characters points of view throughout to keep things interesting. Enjoy!

ONE

PHEONIX

My fingers itch as I grip the steering wheel tighter. I should have worn gloves, I say to myself as I drop one hand from the wheel and rub it vigorously against my torn jeans, hoping the friction from the denim will- at the very least- satiate the itch left behind from the lighter fluid long enough for me to get to the next gas station, so I can stop in and wash my hands properly.

It was reckless of me really- the whole damn thing. My brothers taught me better than this, but then again, everyone said I had a temper that was only second to Archie’s in my family- so I’m really not that surprised. People say my Dad used to be equally hot headed before he got remarried to Marina and took over the club, but I’ve still yet to see it- even after all the shit me and my brothers have pulled over the years. It’s like after our Mother died he just gave up. But I don’t blame him. I would too if I lost the love of my life to a fucking disease like that. I had barely known her anyway, so I didn’t really notice all that much when the brain tumor turned her into a “literal monster”, as my older brothers used to so fondly call her when she was on one of her rampages.

I’d always said that my only real memory of her was when she tried to burn down the house by settling alight to the curtains in their bedroom. I remember we all stood out on the front grass as the smoke billowed out of the windows and mixed with the night air. Archie stood on my right holding one of my hands, E.Z stood on my left holding the other. Maybe that’s why I’ve always had a thing for fire myself. Messing about with lighters, setting things on fire- all so I can try and understand that night… At least, that’s what a therapist would probably say.

My Dad tried to make me go to one once, after I ended up burning down the whole science block at my school at 16, but alas, that never happened. Which is why I’m probably still using fire as a coping method after all these years.

My phone is blowing up by the time I reach the nearest gas station. I scan the messages from my brothers over quickly as I pull into the lot.

Deano: Heard what you did, I’d say he fucking deserved it.

Archie: Dad is pissed. Gonna try to calm him down before he does something stupid.

E.Z: Seriously, Phe, again! Dad is gonna be so pissed.

Leo: Just heard about your latest work, props little sis, I think your balls might be even bigger than Dean’s.

Rolling my eyes, I shove my phone in the glove box as it begins to buzz again. Uhh, I really don’t want or need a lecture right now about how I should or should not have acted upon finding my fiance in bed with another woman. Did I over react… by some people’s standards- maybe. But did I also live out every woman’s fantasy of dousing the bed in lighter fluid and striking a match whilst they were still in the bed… yes- yes I did- and do I give two fucks about any repercussions? Absolutely- fucking- not. Because there won’t be. Never have been. My Dad works for some of the most powerful men in the city- and I’m not talking about the Governor or the Mayor. No- someone will send some money over to keep them sweet and in a couple days time, everything will go back to normal.

I scrub at my hands with the shitty cheap soap in the tiny cubicle inside the gas station to the point the giant rock, still on my finger, almost slips off and down the drain. It’s the first time I’ve thought about it. I’ve been wearing it so long, it’s just an extension of my hand at this point. What am I gonna do with it? I mean- it’s worth a fucking fortune. Freddie was fucking loaded after all. None of it fucking his mind you. His Dad was a close business partner for the same guys my Dad worked for. Let’s just say, crime pays and his Dad has made so much money over the years working for Santiago Garcia and his crew, Freddie has never had to lift a single finger, let alone do a days work, to get what he wants.

I grab a handful of shitty paper towels, drying off my hands and the ring, holding it up to the fluorescent bathroom light. Uhhh it wasn’t even my style. I hate diamonds, they’re so basic and boring. Give me a massive fuck off ruby or saphire anyday. 

Still unsure what to do with it, I tuck it into the back pocket of my jeans before assessing how I look in the mirror. It’s like waking up from the weirdest dream and not recognising yourself. I look at my blonde hair in the mirror, the plain white t-shirt covering my breasts. I look like one of those young Barbie, trophy wife wannabe types. Where did the color and fun go? He drained it all out of me.

In college, when I met Freddie, I had pink in my hair and always had on something bright. At least my ripped jeans still have some character. 

Exiting out back onto the shop floor, I grab myself a large bag of cheetos and a cherry icee- that's as big as my head- from the machine in the back. As I place the large bag of cheesy puffs on the counter, I take a large sip of my drink, before placing that too on the counter, reaching for a pair of bright yellow heart sunglasses on a display next to the cashier.

“What d’ya think?” I ask the portly man behind the counter, who’s polo shirt doesn’t look or smell like it’s been washed for at least two weeks with its armpit stains and ranch dressing smear on the front.

It’s obvious he’s trying to come across as if he’s not checking out my whole body as he looks at me, but his eyes scan lower than my face, falling on the V neck of my t-shirt and my breasts for a hint too long. I flash him a sickly sweet smile as I take the sunglasses off my face and hook them into my shirt where his eyes seem to linger instead. “How about now?” I ask.

He quickly clears his throat as he looks back to the register. “Uhhh, yes- Yes- I think they suit you, yes.” he rambles and I can’t help but laugh. Men like that were always so predictable.

I reach for the icee taking another sip and try to school my features when I get brain freeze. “With the sunglasses,” he says, “16 bucks.” I sigh, but fish a couple notes out my back pocket and hand them over, just as my eyes land on a lighter covered in black and white harlequin print. My fingers instantly reach for it.

I turn the lighter over and over again in my fingers before flipping the top of it open and striking up a flame, my eyes getting lost in its amber glow as it sways hypnotically back and forth. It instantly takes me back to not 20 minutes ago and Fred and the girl’s screams, as the bed covers went up in flames and they both shot out from underneath them as he screamed about how much of a psycho I was. 

The ding of the till draw brings me back to the present and I flick the lighter closed. “Oh, and I’m taking this as payment for you oggling me.” I smile at the balding cashier, as I pocket the lighter and grab my bits off the counter.

I can hear him calling after me, “HEY, COME BACK HERE! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT!” but I just laugh and take another sip of the slush and place the sunglasses back on my head.

As I walk back to my car, I notice a bum, sitting in the shade of the wall at the back corner of the station. As I look at him, I can feel the weight of the ring in my back pocket, dragging me towards him. Hey, the ring might not have changed my life, but it doesn’t mean it can’t change someone else’s life.

“Hey.” I say, lifting the yellow sunglasses on top of my head so I can meet his eyes. “Catch.” I toss him the ring. It sparkles as it hits the afternoon sun and I know from the look on his eyes as it makes contact with his fingers, he feels like he just won the lottery. “Pawn it. Get whatever you want with it, I don’t care.” I say as I begin to turn away from him and back to my car.

“Uh-thank you.” he says at first in shock, “Thank you.” he says again, a little more confidently now.

“Don’t mention it.” I shout back to him as I unlock my car with a chirp and climb back inside. 

I open the bag of cheetos, taking one and popping it in my mouth, before dumping them on the passenger seat and reaching to open the glove box, taking my phone back out.

7 more texts from my brothers and 5 missed calls from my Dad; with a final text saying:

DAD: Get your ass home. NOW!

Well, that does it then. I guess I’m going back to the old family home.

I start the engine, shuffling through the radio stations until I find something I like. When I hear the opening riff for Britney Spears’ Toxic, I stop and whack the volume all the way up. My tires screech as I speed out of the forecourt. I sing at the top of my lungs all the way home.

☆

I’m not through the door five seconds when E.Z is trying to usher me back out again. He’s always been the softer one. Third born. The middle child. Always overlooked, but still always trying to appease everyone.

“Dad is pissed.” He says, when he meets me in the foyer. After Mom tried to burn the house down, the place got remodeled. My Dad had to sell his soul to the devil to do it, but it meant we got to stay in our family home. Well, sort of. 

The whole left side of the house needed rebuilding, which meant they got to extend it out a bit more. We lost the basketball court the boys liked to play on, but it meant they finally got their own rooms so they didn’t mind. 

“I know.” I say to E.Z, waving my phone in his face with one hand, while I take a sip of my icee with the other. 

“Give me that.” He says, snatching the drink from my hand, the contents within the straw almost going everywhere as he rips it straight from my mouth. “This is serious Phe, Andy,” Freddie’s dad, “has already been on the phone making threats. You know how important he is for the business. He’s threatening to cut off the club’s supplies.”

“And….” I shrug, before reaching to take back the large cup in his hands. He merely moves it further out of my reach. “Look, I’m sure the guys who own the place have other connections he can use.”

“You sure about that?” My brother presses, raising his eyebrows and looming over me.

“Oh come on, you telling me those four wannabe goodfellas bozos, haven’t got some other dipshit on their payroll to import and export shit for them off record to help keep club costs down.” 

E.Z’s face is a picture. Eyes wide, face serious. It’s clear from his expression and his mouth that keeps gaping like a fish as he tries to get a word in, that he thinks I should shut up. “What!?” I hiss at him, but as I’ve been ranting and raving, I haven’t heard the second set of feet that have made their way through the front door into the foyer. E.Z’s face turns pale as he looks behind me to the figure and back.

“Oh no, don’t stop on my account.” A forced casual voice comes from behind me.

I turn my head and follow the voice to one of the most gorgeous men I have ever laid eyes on. All tanned skin and dark curly hair, a smattering of grays mixed in- the only hint to his age. I frown as a familiarity falls over me, but I can’t quite place from where. “I’m sorry- do I know you?”

He slides his fingers into his trouser pockets, his foot tapping slightly as he looks me up and down. “Oh you know, I’m just one of those bozos who’s now having to help clear up your mess.”

Before I have a chance to respond, my Dad and Archie step out of his office at the end of the hall. “PHEONIX!” My Dad’s voice bellows and I blanche, maybe that anger isn’t as far away as I thought. 

I turn away from the stranger in his Armani suit by the front door, to my Dad, flashing him my sweetest smile. “Hi, Dadd-”

“Uh- No!” He says, holding up a hand to stop me, “Don’t you dare-” He stops as he spots the other gentleman in the foyer. “Pope.” He says, his demeanor growing lighter as he greets the man who actually owns his ass.

“What kind of name is Pope?” I hiss to E.Z under my breathe, but he just nudges me to shut up.

“David… Archie…” Pope nods his head to the two men. “Shall we talk in your office.” He says, nodding back down the hall behind him.

“Uh- yes. Yes.” My Dad says nervously, turning his body to indicate for him to follow him back, before shooting me a stern look, telling me to behave and that this was far from over.

“Pheonix.” Pope nods to me as he passes, a faint smirk in the corner of his mouth and a look in his eye that I could only describe as fascination. But it quickly disappears again as he turns back to my Dad.

As the door to my Father’s office closes, my brother begins to ferry me towards the stairs. “I’d get up there and stay out of trouble if I were you.” He warns. 

I roll my eyes at him before I slip the yellow, heart shaped sunglasses, down over them with annoyance, snatching back my icee, before I stomp upstairs- as usual, out of sight, out of mind.

~

POPE

“Mr Garcia, I am so sorry for my daughters behavior. I really had thought she’d grown out of this,” David Leacher says, as I sit myself down in one of the leather armchairs in his office. “And I never thought she would do something like this that would put your well balanced business in jeopardy.”

I fain disinterest about the subject, because really, it doesn’t actually bother me all that much at all. Sure Andy is a bit pissed now on behalf of his son, but from what I hear, if you’re gonna go sneaking around behind your soon to be Mrs' back and she finds out, you kinda get what your asking for. To be fair, I gotta give the little lady props; it takes real guts to dump lighter fluid on a guy and strike the match, regardless of the consequences. 

“… I just don’t know what to do with her.” David says, slumping back in his chair behind his desk with a large glass of bourbon in his hand. 

“And this is why I never got married and had kids.” I say, giving him a tight lipped smirk. There’s an awkward pause between us, the only sound in the room, the ice clinking in David’s glass as he takes another nervous sip, his hand shaking slightly in anticipation, waiting for the slap on the wrist he thinks is about to come. “Look David, I’ll get to the point, Andy wants compensation for the money he’s already forked out for the wedding.” David puts his drink down and begins rubbing his temples as if this whole ordeal is giving him a headache. 

He sighs, turning to me, an earnest look in his eye, “Pope,” he says softly- imploringly- “you know I don’t have the money for that-“

“I know.” I say, cutting him off. “That’s why, we’ve decided to franchise Medusa’s. We are going to acquire two more clubs, you’ll get a pay rise and oversee all three venues, to help cover the costs. We get more money coming in through the clubs, you get more money to pay off Andy- everyone’s a winner.” 

The look of relief on David’s face is a picture. “Oh thank you, Pope- uh Mr Garcia.” He says, as his whole body seems to let out a very long breath that he had been keeping tight in his body, probably since the first call he got this afternoon about his daughter’s antics. “Thank you, thank you.” He seemingly pants.

“Look Dave, you’re a good guy- a loyal guy-“ I say honestly, “you work hard, you run Medusa’s well. Profits have been up 30% since you took over. I’m not gonna jeopardize that over some silly tiff between a couple kids.”

“No, no… thank you.” He says quietly, acknowledging my words as I continue to speak.

“Whether this had happened or not, we were going to come to you with this proposal this week anyway. Help you pay off your debt to us quicker too- you know.”

“Yes… thank you, Pope. Thank you.”

“Very well then.” I nod to him. “I’ll call Andy, let him know everything is settled.”

“Thank you, Pope, thank you.” He says again. 

David is a good man- a loyal man. He runs our most popular club well, but it was a real shame how soft he had gone in his old age. Ever since he lost his wife, he’s never been the same. Then he married that wannabe wag Marina- who does nothing but spend the rest of what little money he has coming in after he repays some of his debt to us- and walks all over him. Back in the day he had really made a name for himself bare knuckle boxing. They used to call him The Reaper because he could knock a man out with a single blow that brought a man close to death; but nowadays he’d barely hit a fly. This was yet another reason I never settled down and did the whole wife and kids thing- it made you soft.

Still didn’t stop his little girl from being as tough as nails and crazy to boot- but when the only female role models you had growing up were a Mother with a brain tumor that made her- to be polite- unhinged; and then Marina, it's no wonder she’s ended up as she has. She bounced around three different boarding schools in her teens. By the third school- after she had burnt down the science block at the second school- we had to write a fairly hefty donation cheque, in order to get her in. Just another number added to David’s bill to be repaid.

Although he had initially approached us looking for work in order to pay off his wife’s medical bills and then to redo the house after she had burnt half of it down, most of the money he’s borrowed from us over the years has been for Phoenix. Frankie, Will and myself have spent many a night around the table with a drink in our hands speculating on why he continues to bail her out and put himself in more debt to protect her. We’ve long come to assume it’s probably because of guilt. That she was robbed of a proper Mother. Cursed to have a weak Father. If she had been my kid, I would have tossed her ass out on the curb a long time ago and told her to deal with her own shit if she wanted to keep behaving the way she has over the years.

To be fair though, after she met Freddie, we thought she’d finally straightened out- or at least she had become Fred’s problem and he was dealing with it. She stopped going to the clubs. Started wearing more grown up clothing that matched her age. Began running with Freddie and his older friends. But I guess it was only a matter of time and you know what they say- a leopard never changes their spots.

I’m halfway to the door, ready to leave, when David stops me. “Umm, Pope.” He says tentatively. I slowly turn myself back to him, ready to hear his request, even though he’s in no place to be making requests right now after I’ve just bailed his ass out for the fifteenth time. “I was just wondering…” he continues hesitantly, “seeing as Phoenix and Freddie are no longer together, she’ll probably need an actual job of her own now…” I can almost feel myself rubbing at my temples, knowing the question that was about to come out of his mouth. It’s the same question that had come when all of his son’s came of age and needed a job… but this time is different- and we both know it.

Phoenix isn’t like her brothers. Where they are able to be mature and step up and follow orders, she most definitely can not. I’ve seen enough of her school reports over the years to know what kind of employee she’d be. When David had asked about getting the boys jobs, it had been a no brainer. Each one of them had a build similar to their father in his hay day, perfect for a bit of muscle and extra protection in the club. But a job in Medusa’s for Phoenix would be behind the bar- and I know for a fact she’d sooner pour herself shots of liquor and dance on that bar than stand back and serve everyone else whilst they had a good time.

I already know I’m going to regret this when I finally climb into my bed at the end of the night, “She gets one chance.” I say. “One chance.” I hold up my index finger to him for emphasis.

“Thank you, Pope. I promise she won’t let you down.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I mutter to myself, my thumb and forefinger rubbing at my eyes in both irritation and exhaustion, as I finally leave the room. I give Archie a brief nod of acknowledgement as he sees me back out to my car.

I'm about to climb back in when he says, "I know you didn't have to do that, but he needed that, you know. He needs that hope that she'll be okay."

I only give him a nod as I look up to the row of upstairs windows and back to him, "We'll see." I say. "We'll see."

-----------------------------------

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[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 4

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: Here's the first of the completely new chapters. I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I wake up to the deliberately annoying sound of my alarm blaring from my bedside. I look out at the still-dark skyline outside and slide off the alarm before checking my notifications. A smile instantly replaces my sleepy scowl as I read the messages that filtered in overnight.

I know it’s late, but I’m wired from sleeping on the flight… even though it was only three hours. I know I should be better at this flying thing with how much I travel for work but I guess I never learn Also…I could get used to you colliding with me 😉 God that was too cheesy, I’m sorry, forget I said anything, I blame the jetlag! I need to stop before I permanently scare you away if it’s not already too late. Good night

I smile at his dorkiness before dragging myself out of bed. As much as I’d love nothing more than to message him back now and text all day, my shift starts in an hour and I need to get ready first. I force myself through the motions of showering, donning my uniform, eating a light breakfast, and brushing my hair and teeth before slipping out the door. The sun is just beginning to rise overhead as I stroll through the quiet streets. As much as I’m not a morning person, I do enjoy this little slice of quiet before the rush of the day.

Once I get to the cafe, I greet the baker who is finalising the baked goods for the day. I help him stock the fridges, leaving the tray of burnt muffins on the bench in the kitchen as per his instructions and then open the store.

With the Christmas rush still in full swing, the morning passes quickly but leaves me exhausted. Once I finally get a break I take one of the slightly burned and therefore, unsaleable candy cane muffins and a bottle of water and sit at a small table out the back of the cafe. I pull out my cracked phone and finally allow myself to reply.

I sell festive drinks & snacks to people who haven’t yet had their morning coffee - It’s gonna take more than a jet lag-induced comment to scare me away Watching you behead someone on TV though, that was rough You sure I can trust you? I promise I’d never hurt you, that is unless I catch you draining someone of their blood Wait! Are you working? I didn’t mean to disturb you Not at the moment I can chat for a bit So, you promise you won’t drink anyone? I get queasy when someone cuts their finger, so no chance My show’s probably not for you then The eye candy’s worth it But I also live alone, so horror is generally a no-go That’s ok. As I said, it’s more interesting to me that you’re not a fan There are no expectations to live up to But eye candy, eh? I don’t know about Dean but there was the vamp was pretty sexy Till he lost his head anyway Oh…🥺 Nah, Dean’s alright too… Though I do think he’s the most scary. I don’t think he would take kindly to wearing a cup of hot chocolate Probably not But he’d find you charming He’d probably use it as an excuse to try and get your number He’d have more confidence than shyly writing his number on a coaster and hoping the pretty girl makes the next move You think I’m pretty? You don’t need to try and flatter me You’ve only seen me when I’m exhausted and covered in rotting milk If you’d seen me on a day when I’d actually put in some effort then maybe I’d believe you Then maybe one day I’ll have to give you a reason to dress up for me Take you on a real date You plan on coming back to New York? It’s not in my schedule yet But maybe in the new year Unless I can tempt you to come to Texas? I live in a single-bedroom apartment in downtown New York And I work in a cafe I can’t afford airfares and hotel accommodations in Texas at Christmas! How about if it was all-expenses-paid? Jensen…

Just as I’m typing a reply my colleague bursts through the backdoor. I check the time and realise it’s been over ten minutes since I came outside. I quickly type out a halfhearted excuse and shut off my phone before scurrying back inside.

Sorry, my break’s over. I gotta get back to work. Talk later

Despite going through the motions; making coffees, heating muffins, and delivering orders, my mind continues to wander back to Jensen’s offer and my lack of response. We barely know each other, how could I let him pay for a holiday in Texas? While a holiday sounds like heaven after working my ass off all year, I refuse to let it be at someone else’s expense, even if that person is a successful and wealthy actor. I refuse to be seen as a gold digger, even in my own eyes. Also, I can’t stand the thought of him finding out my true passion and then accusing me of using him to get a leg up in the industry. By the end of my shift, I decide to come clean about everything.

Back in my apartment, I shower again and change into comfy clothes before collapsing on the couch. I switch on the TV, not caring what’s on, just looking for a little comforting background noise. The random Doctor Phill reruns don’t take long to lull me to sleep.

The continual vibrating of my phone on the coffee table drags me back to the land of the living. I rub my eyes to wake myself up and check who’s blowing up my phone.

I’m sorry if I came on too strong I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable You’re right, we barely know each other I promise I’m gonna stop making stupid comments and just give you space I’m sorry again

I mull over the messages for a few minutes and type and delete multiple replies before mustering up all the courage I can and giving in and pressing the call button instead. I listen to the dial tone for a few rings before he finally picks up. Wanting to smooth things over before he jumps in all apologetically I rush to speak first as soon as the call connects.

“Look, I know we’re texting people, not calling people. But this conversation needed to be had like this.”

“Are you telling me to lose your number? Because I will if that’s what you want.”

“No. I just think we’ve been living in some fantasy, and maybe you’re used to that since you’re an actor. But here in New York, no matter how badly I want to be a performer, I have to live in the real world. Any handouts I take, and any relationships I make will be used against me.”

“A holiday is not a handout. But wait, you want to be a performer?”

“During the year, I took acting and singing classes. I also auditioned for roles on Broadway. But obviously, I didn’t get any of the roles. But I swear, I didn’t recognise you when we met the other day. And I don’t intend to use you to get a role. I’m not a gold digger. I want to do this myself,” I ramble, hoping he believes me.

“Hey, I’m not accusing you of anything. I believe you. I’ve met people who are just trying to use me, I know the signs. So unless you’re a much better actress than I’m giving you credit for..?”

“None of this has been acting. I promise.”

“I believe you.” I hear knocking and someone calling out from the other end of the line. “I’m so sorry. They’re ready for me. I've got to go do soundcheck. Can I call you back later?”

“Soundcheck? Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Bye, Jensen.”

“I’ll call you and explain later…or maybe tomorrow…I promise I’ll call you!”

The line falls silent and I sigh. I drag myself off the couch to make a sandwich. Just as I sit down to eat it my phone starts buzzing again. I glance at the caller ID and answer it with a smile.

“Hey, Stella!” I greet my best friend happily.

“Hey, Bestie! We still on for tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“You promised you’d help me with my wedding! I’m getting married in three weeks and there’s still so much to do!”

“Oh yeah! Of course! I can be there in say 30?”

“You’re the best, Bestie!”

“I know! See you soon!”

I hang up and finish eating my sandwich, clean up, throw on some warmer clothes and head out to catch the subway.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27

[slayfics]

Girl talk about villains.

Warnings: nsfw themes

650 words

Featured OCS:

💚 Kansatoki Hikari

💚 Yume Hoshino

💚 Asumi Tachibana

"Ugh," Asumi sighed lying down on the floor dramatically. "I'm so tired of studying," she complained.

"We could take a break," Kansatoki suggested.

Yume nodded in agreement, her own eyes beginning to feel heavy from the long study session.

"Hey, I have an unhinged question for you both," Asumi said sitting upright.

Kansatoki eyed her suspiciously, while Yume sweetly replied, "What is it?"

"If you had to fuck a villain, who would you choose?" Asumi asked.

"Overhaul," Kansatoki answered before Asumi finished her question.

"Oh, that was too fast, you've definitely thought about that before," Asumi said laughing.

"Kansa!" Yume exclaimed. "I thought you were over your Stockholm syndrome!" Yume whined.

"I didn't have Stockholm syndrome!"' Kansatoki snapped. "I just think he'd have the cleanest dick out of all the villains."

"KANSA!" Yume exclaimed, hiding her face, flustered by her friend's vulgarness.

"I bet he's got a girthy one too," Asumi added.

"Oh, he does," Kansatoki agreed.

"Hu?" both girls looked at her. "What did you just say?" Asumi clarified.

Kansatoki's eyes widened, "I just mean- I saw him up close and he radiated big dick energy. Anyway, what's your answer Asumi?" Kansatoki asked forcing the attention off herself.

Asumi thought for a moment before answering, "I have to say Compress."

"Hmm," Kansatoki hummed. "He wasn't bad looking when that ugly mask came off."

"I just want to show him a few tricks myself," Asumi said, with a snicker. "Gonna make that dick disappear."

The two girls erupted with laughter while Yume tilted her head to the side trying to understand the joke.

"All right Yume, your turn," Kansatoki said, her laughter subsiding as she turned her attention to her friend.

"Hu?!" Yume looked between the girls with a panicked expression on her face.

"What villain are you fucking?" Asumi asked.

"Are you insane!" Yume exclaimed, "I'm not-," she looked around as if someone else might hear before whispering, "making love with a villain."

"Of course not, this is just hypothetical, just pick one." Kansatoki urged.

"Fine! Hmmm," Yume thought for a moment, "If Red Riot became a villain, I'd pick him."

Asumi and Kansatoki looked at each other with a pointed glance, before turning back to Yume. "That's cheating you can't choose your boyfriend," Asumi said.

"It's not cheating! It's hypothetical right!? So hypothetically if Eijiro became villain I'd choose him," Yume said matter-of-factly placing her arms on her hips.

"That's it, hold her down Asumi," Kansatoki instructed.

"What?!" Yume yelled as Asumi followed Kansatoki's directions and held Yum's hands behind her back.

Kansatoki slinked over to Yume's stuffed animal collection before grabbing her beloved shark plushie. "Answer now or sharky gets it!" Kansatoki examined squeezing the stuffed animal.

"Put it down! Eijiro gave me that!" Yume squirmed in Asumi's grasp.

"Come on Yume, just say a name and we'll leave you alone," Asumi encouraged.

"Yeah, you can even agree with one of us! Are you thinking Overhaul or the lame magician?" Kansatoki asked.

"Hey! At least Compress isn't a germ freak like that beak brain!" Asumi reported.

"What is it with you both and villains with missing arms!" Yume yelled, still struggling to get out of Asumi's grasp.

"Wrong answer!" Kansatoki said, pulling on the shark's tail.

"DABI!" Yume yelled, causing Kansatoki to stop in her tracks.

"What?! EW!" Kansatoki said, repulsed, and dropped the stuffed animal.

"What do you mean ew!?" Yume questioned.

"Have you seen him?! He's only got half his skin! How do you know he hadn't burnt his dick off!?" Kansatoki questioned.

"I bet he's a freak in bed though," Asumi said letting go of Yume's arms.

"Oh, so you're into freaks?" Kansatoki asked Yume.

"KANSA!" Yume whined, bringing her knees to her chest and hiding her face, embarrassed with herself.

"I'm just teasing ya, I like that answer." Kansatoki laughed.

"Yeah, who knew you had it in you," Asumi agreed.

[call-me-a-simp]

Heal My Wounds

Talk It Out (part 29)

Rhea Ripley x Reader

Tw: physical and sexual abuse, toxic relationship, selfharm, eating disorder

Summary: You are in a toxic relationship with an abusive man but manage to run away. A tall, black haired woman picks you up from the streets just in time so your ex doesn't get you. But who is she and why does she seem so familiar to you? As you get to know each other you start to notice weird feelings you never had before whenever she's around.

The following day you wake up, finding yourself snuggled into Rhea's chest. "Good morning beautiful" Rhea whispers and kisses the top of your head.

You groan a little, not liking the fact that you were just pulled out of a nice dream. "God morning Mami" you yawn without even realizing what you just said.

"oh so you're finally calling me Mami" Rhea teases you straight away. "Ugh God stop it I'm tired" you complain. She giggles and settles back into the bed letting you get comfy on her again.

"When is Dom picking you up today again?" your girlfriend asks. "ten" you mumble. "Oh that's funny because it's already 9:30 you know" she surpresses a laugh.

"WHAT?!" you shoot up "Why didn't you wake me earlierr?" you cry and Rhea finally let's out her laughter. You punch her lightly and then hurry to get out of bed.

Strange, you don't remember going to bed yesterday. Last thing you knew is you were laying on the couch watching a film together.

Now's not the time to think about that! You remind yourself. You gather your clothes and step in the shower, completely ignoring the fact that you didn't even close the door to the bathroom properly.

Who even cares? It's not like she hasn't already seen every single part of your body.

"I'm making breakfast, what do you want?" Rhea calls from outside. "Thanks but I'm not hungry" you respond. You hear her sigh and walk away, knowing very well she's gonna make you something anyway.

About 20 minutes later you're ready and even ate a little just to please your worried girlfriend. The doorbell rings and she let's Dominik in.

"Ain't y/n ready yet?" he questions. "she is but we need to talk first. Rhea replies." "You're making it seem pretty serious, is everything okay?" Dom nervously chuckles.

"Ehh.. More or less" she says and follows him to the kitchen where you're already waiting, anxiously fidgeting with your fingers and picking the skin around your nails.

The two sit down, he in front of you and she next to you, trying to calm you down by taking your hand in hers.

"So, listen Dominik" Rhea begins. "y/n told me that yesterday, as you two were taking a break from shopping, you held her hand and were more touchy than usual which made her a little uncomfortable and she doesn't know if you meant it in a friendship or romantic kind of way, so we need to talk it out!"

"Oh boy, hey I'm sorry y/n" Dom chuckles and immediately releases the tension he held just a few moments earlier.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in any way, I thought you wanted to, as you were the one to take my hand. Is was just an offer from my side, I wouldn't have been mad if you declined it." he sets up a warm smile.

You relax a little and exhale a shallow breath, nodding slightly as you do so. "Okay Dom Dom, thank you" you smile back, your voice being pretty quiet.

Rhea turns to you as she speaks again. "are Liv and Raquel coming today actually?" "nah they didn't have time, got some matches, you know the drill" you wave it off.

"okay, I think you two should get going then hm? But this time you won't walk outta there without the perfect dress, you got me?" she dares you and raises an eyebrow at Dom.

"Ye ye Mami, see ya later" he laughs at her and you follow him outside, giving Rhea a quick kiss on the cheek as you walk past her. "Thanks" you whisper and earn a wink from her.

---------------------------------------------------

Little shorter than usual but I'm so freaking tired and exhausted, but still force myself to post at least every second day.

Anyway, happy Pride Month y'all! I'm kinda proud that it's the same month as my birthday haha

Taglist:@babybatlover @legit9thlunaticwarrior @thatonepansexual2000 @nox-fire

[phantompoguefangirl]

WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER

CHAPTER FOUR: SUSPICIONS

Broken up deep inside, but you won't get to see the tears I cry behind these hazel eyes- Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE MENTIONED

*Flashback*

"Where the hell have you been?!" Jesse demanded, yanking me inside our house with a vice grip on my wrist. I tried not to react to the pain.

"I-...I just went for a walk, you know, to get some fresh air and um...a bite to eat," I stammered, not meeting his eyes because I knew all too well what I would see in them."What are you doing home so early?"

"I just got a break between meetings so I came to check on you. You were supposed to stay here and write a new song. Did you finish the song?" He asked, staring me down.

I shook my head, looking down."Uhh...no I couldn't come up with-" I was cut off by the back of his hand connecting with my face. The force caused me to stumble backward as I grabbed my cheek.

"I asked for one simple thing. Why can't you just do what I ask?"

"I- I was having writer's block and I thought the fresh air and food would help. I'm sorry."

"Well you better hope it did. Get your ass back in there and write me a song," he snapped, waving toward my music room.

I turned and hurried down the hall, trying to hide the tears beginning to stream down my face. I closed and locked the door of my music room before sinking to the floor and sobbing quietly.

I sat there against the door for what felt like hours. I heard Jesse leave at some point and I barely registered the sun going down outside my window, but I couldn't bring myself to move until I heard the lightsaber sound from my phone.

I grabbed it and looked at my screen.

Hey pizza girl. :) Sorry I would have texted sooner but the guys tackled me for the pizza when I got home and then distracted me with fifa. -Michael

I couldn't help but smile as I texted back.

Pizza Girl? 🤣 -Mia

It was the first thing I thought of okay don't judge me. -Michael

Okay then lol -Mia

Anyway what are you up to? -Michael

Sitting in my music room supposed to be writing a song...-Mia

Is that what was so urgent that you had to leave? -Michael

Um kind of. -Mia

Kind of? -Michael

I'm sort of on a deadline. Clearly the suits don't understand how song writing works. -Mia

Haha tell me about it. Especially with everything else we deal with as artists. -Michael

Exactly! -Mia

Well hey I could help you with your song if you want. -Michael

You already are helping. :) -Mia

I am? How? -Michael

Talking to him had made me think of earlier today and how fun it was to spend time with him. His smile had brightened my whole day, his big green eyes were even more beautiful in person and I had unintentionally noticed that he had some very light freckles around his nose that weren't super visible at first but were ridiculously cute. He was also very kind and sweet and I really wanted to know him more as a person. I'd only spent a little bit of time with him today, but Michael Clifford had made an impact on me.

Of course I couldn't just say that to him, though.

You'll just have to wait and see when the song comes out. ;) -Mia

Wow really? You're gonna play it like that? - Michael

Yep. ;) -Mia

Come onnnn just tell meee -Michael

No. -Mia

Pretty please? -Michael

Nope. -Mia

Fiiiinnee I guess I'll wait. -Michael

Good boy. *pats your head* -Mia

😂😂 -Michael

Anyway, it's late and we have a meeting with management in the morning so I probably should go to bed now. But hopefully you and I can hang out again soon? -Michael

Yeah hopefully soon. Goodnight Michael. :) -Mia

Goodnight:) -Michael

I set my phone down and jotted down the ideas I had before falling asleep on my little couch by the window. I finished the song over the span of the next day.

Jesse came back around dinner time and did his usual "I'm sorry, I love you, I'll stop" routine. He was also happy to hear the song was done. All I could do was just smile and make him dinner like nothing ever happened.

MICHAEL P.O.V

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I mumbled a few profanities and shut off my alarm before rolling out of bed. I trudged out to the hallway and got into the usual morning arguments with the guys over the bathrooms while getting ready for our meeting.

Once we had gotten ready and eaten, we piled into our suv and headed to the management office.

I tried to focus on what these suits were saying but on top of my pre-existing focus issues, I couldn't stop thinking about Mia. The way she'd rushed to leave was a little concerning, but there was something about her that drew me in and I'd honestly had the best time with her yesterday...

Suddenly someone shoved my hand out from under my chin, causing me to faceplant into the conference table.

"Ow what the fuck?" I groaned as I glared up at my bandmates.

"The meeting's over, space cadet. Time to come back to Earth," Ashton said as the three of them laughed.

I looked around and noticed the suits were gone. "Oh shit, I didn't realize I zoned out like that. I'm sorry."

"No worries, we'll fill you later," Luke said as I followed them out of the room, "What the hell were you daydreaming about anyway?"

"I don't think we really wanna know the answer to that, mate," Calum said, causing them all to laugh more.

"It's not like that," I said, playfully shoving them as we got in the car.

"So you weren't thinking about a girl then?" Calum asked, wagging his eyebrows at me.

"No-I mean yes, there's a girl but-"

"TOLD YOU! MIKEY'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!" Calum yelled, resulting in the guys cracking up laughing again and teasing me.

"GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TALK. GEEZ." I shouted over the noise.

They must have noticed the undertone of my voice because it didn't take them long to get quiet and look at me.

I explained what happened yesterday to them.

"She sounds amazing, dude. Remind us to thank her for saving you if we ever get to meet her." Ashton said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"If I get to see her again," I mumbled.

They looke at me confused.

"Um...well, she has a boyfriend, first of all. She told me about him so we agreed the lunch was just a friend thing as a thank you to her. But then he texted her and she started acting really...I don't know, anxious? She said she had to go and was pretty quick to leave after that. We texted last night and she seemed okay, though so I don't know if I'm just tripping or not." I elaborated.

"Did she say why she was in such a hurry to leave?" Ashton asked.

"She told me last night over text that she was on a deadline to write a song," I answered.

"Maybe she was just stressed over that then?" Luke suggested.

I shrugged. "I mean, it's possible. But it was her boyfriend that texted her, not a suit, so that's weird right?"

"What if he knew about the deadline and reminded her?" Calum said.

"Maybe. I don't know," I said.

We didn't get a chance to talk anymore about it at the moment because we got home and had other band stuff to do.

Mia and I kept texting off and on though and over the next few weeks we actually did manage to spend time together. We mostly spent time at the pizza place, arcades or a park we found that we liked. She was very funny and bubbly and I really enjoyed being around her, though I started to get a little more concerned about her the more we hung out.

I started noticing little things that worried me. Like every so often when she thought I wasn't paying attention, her beautiful hazel eyes flitted around like she was looking for danger or something. She never wanted to go to her house and always insisted we meet somewhere. I asked her if she was okay a few times and she always played it off like everything was fine but I could tell she was putting up a front.

I mean, it wasn't like she was cheating on her boyfriend with me or anything. We both made it abundantly clear that we were just friends on a couple occasions so I was confused as to what the hell was going on. But, I was absolutely captivated by her and I had a gut feeling that I that I needed to stay close to her...

@jetblackbritt13

[tinyinvadr]

I’m so sane I’m so normal. Anyway, here’s more Borrowed Family!

Borrowed Family

Chapter 2

I froze up as the human stared at me from across the room. Neither of us moved or said a word for a solid minute. Then, he got out of bed and started to walk towards the desk.

At that point, I panicked, and started trying to run as if it would help me. No matter what, I was trapped. There was no way for me to get down from the desk, and he was gonna grab me or crush me or shove me in a jar.

My worst fears were realized when a massive pair of hands clamped around me, holding me in place. I was shuddering nonstop as I forced myself to look at the human.

He didn’t look angry, at least, but very confused.

“What… are you?”

I couldn’t speak. I just stood there, completely helpless as he lifted me off the desk like it was nothing. He turned me around in his hands a few times, looking at me from different angles. Then, with a single finger, he gently pulled my hood down to get a better look at my face.

“You’re human!? But… how did you get so small? Did Zim do this to you?”

At that point, I had no idea what to say. If he thought I was human, maybe he wouldn’t hurt me. But at the same time, if he figured out I was lying, it could end badly. Plus, I had no idea what a “Zim” was. I had to just come clean and hope for the best.

“N-No, I’m supposed to be this small. I’m a borrower. B-But we’re really not all that different from humans! Please don’t kill me…”

I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at him anymore. I doubted I was able to get through to him. There really was no getting out of this.

“What? No, kid, I’m not… I’ll just put you down now.”

I opened my eyes as he slowly and carefully lowered me back onto the desk, then took a few steps back.

All I could do was look up at him, waiting and watching to see what he would do next. Except he didn’t move. He stayed at a distance, looking concerned.

“Are you… really not gonna hurt me?”

I flinched a little as he raised his hands defensively. I think he noticed how scared I was and put his hands back down.

“Of course not! You’re just a little kid. Literally. But… what are you doing in my room?”

I avoided his gaze as best I could. Even if he wasn’t going to hurt me, I still felt awful that I ended up being discovered by a human. The whole point of this exercise was to prove to my Dad that I was ready to be a borrower. Clearly, I wasn’t.

“I-I’m just waiting for my Dad to come get me. He told me to wait here for him.”

The boy nodded. “Okay. Do you know where he went? Maybe I could help you find him.”

“NO! I mean, uh… you really shouldn’t. He doesn’t like humans, and… I don’t want him to know I messed up…”

The human took his eyes off me for the first time, looking down at his feet, ashamed.

“Yeah, I get that. But… is there anything else I could do to help? I’m sorry, I just… you’re all alone and scared and I’d feel really bad if I didn’t do anything.”

I hated how obvious my fear was. I couldn’t stop shaking. He was being so nice, but every story I’ve ever been told was about how horrible and monstrous humans are.

“D-Do you have a place I could sleep?”

He looked around the room for a second, then stopped when he saw something near his bed.

“Yeah, sure, wait one second.”

The boy went to the other side of the room, took a black coat off his bedpost, and folded it up into a large square shape. He brought it over to the desk and placed it down next to me, moving very slowly and carefully. He was actually trying not to scare me.

“Okay, hopefully that’s enough like a bed. Try it out, let me know if it’s comfortable or not.”

I climbed onto the folded up coat. It was pretty soft. I lied down, pulling the edge over myself like a blanket. Instantly much better than the stinky pencil case.

The human smiled at me, and I gave him a little smile back. I still wasn’t sure about the whole situation, but I was glad that he didn’t seem to be dangerous.

“Alright, if you’re good, I’m gonna go back to bed. Hopefully your Dad will come back soon. But, until then, I just want you to know that you don’t have to be afraid of me, okay? You’re safe here.”

I gave him a nod as he started to walk back towards his bed, but then he stopped and turned to look at me one last time.

“Oh, by the way, my name is Dib. What’s yours?”

I was almost gonna say it, but something stopped me. I don’t know why, but I never really felt like a Rosie. And I guess I was curious about what it would be like to go by another name. My parents would never want me to change it, but since this was only temporary and I’d probably never see Dib again, what was the harm in trying something new? So, I said the word that was still sitting in the back of my head for some reason.

“Recap!”

Dib paused, looking confused. “That’s… kind of an odd name, but, okay!”

With that, he got back into bed and went back to sleep, while I got myself comfortable on the makeshift coat bed.

As I drifted off to sleep, the last things on my mind were how weird this whole thing was. One of the monsters my family always warned me about was not only sparing my life, but he was being nice to me, and giving me a place to sleep while I waited for Dad.

Of course, I couldn’t fully trust him, but there was this part of me that was almost hoping it would take a little longer for Dad to find me. Just those words, “you’re safe here,” they never left my head. I… wanted that to be true.

When I woke up the next morning, Dib was still asleep. There was no sign of Dad anywhere. What was taking him so long? I looked around, just to double check and see if he was hiding anywhere, but nope.

I noticed Dib moving, and he let out a yawn as he woke up. He got out of bed and almost walked right past me, but then he backtracked and went back over to the desk.

“Whoa, you’re still here!? To be honest, I thought that was a dream. Wasn’t your Dad supposed to come and get you last night?”

I nodded. “Yeah… I guess he’s still looking!”

He looked like he was about to say something, but stopped.

“Okay… I guess you should probably stay here until then. I’m gonna go downstairs for breakfast. Want anything?”

It almost didn’t seem real. A human was offering me food. This never happened.

“Uhh… I’m okay with whatever! I don’t eat much.”

He looked like he was thinking something over for a second, then spoke again.

“I think I’ll just bring my plate up here so we can share, then. Do you like waffles?”

I never had waffles before. They’re not easy to borrow since they’re stored in the freezer, and that’s not the sort of place you wanna go inside unless you have to.

“I dunno. I never tried ‘em.”

Dib looked somewhat surprised. “Really? Wow. Well, you’re in for a treat, then! Wait right there.”

With that, he left the room. I sat and waited on the folded up coat, watching the door. I couldn’t get over it, he was actually bringing me food. I didn’t have to borrow it without him knowing, he was just… giving it to me. But why?

Either Mom and Dad were wrong about humans, or Dib was a very, VERY unique case.

[ohgoddard]

Forced Reset

Concrete was never the best material to wake up on. Hard and sharp, digging into the bare skin and tearing it open with little effort. Too many children can attest to how much concrete hurts and point to their scraped knees and elbows like well-worn battle scars. No, concrete is perhaps the bottom tier of things to wake up on. I would have much liked to wake up instead on my apartment’s carpeted floor. Or my bed in said apartment next to my lovely partner. Or even the patch of grass that my right hand is currently getting to know as feeling begins slowly and agonizingly making its way back into my body. 

I don’t know how I got here. My memories are hazy, like trying to picture a billboard you saw once on a car-ride years ago. Fractions make their way into my mind but thinking about them hurts too much for me to focus. I don’t know where I was the day before, what I was doing an hour before, or even where I was now. Or how I came to be lying on my back in the center of a broken basketball court, bleeding everywhere. And the pain. Jesus the pain. I try to lift my head off the ground, straining my neck. I see a large gash across my chest, my uniform in tatters.

Sleeveless was a terrible idea, I now realize, as a glance reveals the tiger stripes of blood across my arms. I lean on my right arm to sit up, my body rewarding me with the feeling of my lower half. The blood rushes to my head and I almost fall again, catching myself before doing so.

It has been a while since I was this hurt. Not since... I can’t remember but it hurt a lot. The tattered remains of my clothes fell off my body to the floor, making me look down in relief as my sports bra was not one of the many scraps. Would not want to wake up naked and lost. One too many university adventures ended that way. I eye up the white and blue scraps and wonder why I was wearing such..tight clothes. Was I going out clubbing or something? My shorts (Christ, why was I wearing shorts?) looked like they would hold up too, and at least they were more like bike shorts than clubbing shorts. When I looked at my shoes I was surprised to see that they were rollerblades of all things. Why am I wearing rollerblades? 

Then it all hit me. Truly the only logical conclusion that someone with numerous bodily injuries and possible brain injuries could come up with.

I’m a superhero! I help people with my power of... Something. I groan. What kind of hero can’t remember their own power? Oh man I hope I’m not one of those weirdos that fights crimes without a superpower, those losers are so annoying. Oh man, am I annoying? My heartbeat picks up as my mind thinks about all the things I’ve ever done which could be considered annoying. This does nothing as I draw perpetual blanks on my memory, only coming back with anxiety anyways.

Oh god, do I have anxiety? What kind of superhero has social anxiety?! No wonder I’m torn up, I was probably afraid those bank robbers were gonna bully me like I was-

Wait! Bank Robbers!

I was in Massachusetts. It was a normal call, a smash-and-grab from a local bank. I was the only hero in the area because of…something. I can’t remember what, but I didn’t like it. I wasn’t thinking straight and just needed to distract myself. I wasn’t even on the clock, but whatever. It's what heroes do. I suited up in seconds before dashing down the freeway. Then it gets..hazy.

I remember running past the police cars, up to the back of the van they were in. I was planning on taking out their tires with the knife I keep on my belt when the back doors of the van flew open. I had faced this before, so it was nothing new. But they had something that made me stop in my tracks. A masked man leaned out of the van with a strange gun in his arms and fired. I tried to move out of the way but overcorrected myself, tripping over my own feet. A car rammed into me from behind, running over me just as this strange green bolt hit my body and it all went dark.

Yes, yes those memories are real things that occurred and happened. My brain is not just crafting narratives to better fit earlier misconceptions! I’m not making shit up! Look at me, using big words! I must be telling the truth. What kind of brain-injured person uses big words as goodest as I?

But that doesn't explain... This.

I roll over to my side and start to push up.  I hear a disheartening *snap* as I fall back to the concrete, pain shooting up my left arm. I grit my teeth and swallow the scream building in my throat. OK. Left arm is broken, feel like I should have felt that earlier but whatever. Could be worse. Rolling to the other side I pull myself off the embrace of the ground and finally get a survey of my area. It was night I realize, but you could hardly tell because of the intensely bright lamplights around the basketball court I had arrived in. I seem to be in the middle of a large city park, as I can see tons of buildings around the horizon. Thank Christ, It would have sucked to not have a city. At least here I can find the local agency building and get medical treatment. I just gotta give them my hero name and… and...

Fuck what's my hero name?

Shit, forget that. What the hell is my name name. 

“Oh goddamnit, this just gets better.” I spit out blood. Ugh. Better get walking then. They should have photos right? Maybe that will be enough. 

I begin my shambling walk back to the city, leaving my comfortable bed on the basketball court behind me. Walking feels like coming back from an intense workout and every muscle is mad you decided to notice them. Or like a really bad hangover you get from drinking out of a random jug titled “Ronald Borgan” at a music festival. I  don’t get very far until I have to sit on a bench in the park and take off those goddamn skates. I don’t know if you ever tried to walk normally in skates, but it is near impossible.

As I unlace them, I notice a tag poking up from the lip of the shoe.

“If lost return to Riley Wing.” 

“What if Mrs.Wing herself is lost?”

My blood turns cold. I snap my head to my left to see a man walking towards me. He is dressed head to toe in a grey overcoat, topped off with a grey fedora. His face is obscured by the shadows of the night, the only thing poking out is the bright red of a cigarette. His hands leave his pockets to grab his cigarette, an almost impossible white.

Wasting no time I immediately grab my skates and throw them at his head. I have no clue whether this guy is a villain or just a real pale creep, but I wasn’t going to take the chance. My skates smack him straight in the face, making him swear in pain. I grin as he drops his cigarette. Not wasting a second, I stand from the bench and… leg it as far as I could from him.

Which was not very far. What little blood I had left in my body rushed to my head the minute I stood up, casting me into a realm of vertigo not yet seen by mortal men. Godlike disorientation aside, my fucking knees decide to give out at this exact moment. I curse my low iron diet as I stumbled to the ground, barely catching myself with my good arm. I manage to scrape together enough strength to stand up but stopped mid-rise. A heavy hand clasped my hurt shoulder, pain shooting up my back. I turn my head to look up, seeing a face just as pale as the hand that grasps me. Looking back is an utterly unremarkable face, one that seems to change to an equally mediocre look every time I blink.

“Mrs.Wing,” his gritty baritone shook me through his hand, “you look like you suffered a terrible accident. Allow me to help.”  He lets go of my shoulder and walks in front of me, extending his other stark white palm. I look over him, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. I can’t tell if he has a weapon on him, but it's not like he would need one to take care of me right now. He was more than larger than I am, easily holding 90 pounds on me. His face, sporting a red mark on his forehead where my skates hit him, betrayed no intention of ill will. And frankly, I more than likely could not stand back up without his help.

I reach out with my non-broken arm, and the man effortlessly lifts me without even a sign of strain on his end.  He guides me back to the bench, setting me down with a surprising amount of grace. I let out a pained breath, looking over at him. He stays standing in front of me, another cigarette appearing in his mouth where I smacked it out last. His smoke trails upwards, blending into the soft navy blue of night.

“Alright mister, what is it you want? Were you hoping for a thank you? An autograph? If you haven’t noticed,” I gesture to my tattered remains of what someone might have recently called clothes, “I haven’t any functioning pockets.” Come to think of it, I probably didn’t have any pockets beforehand either. Damn the women’s clothing industry.

The man chuckles, taking one more drag on his cigarette before dropping it on the floor and grinding it out with his grey dress shoes.

“No, Mrs.Wing, I did not come asking for autographs. I’m something of a helper. And frankly, you looked like you needed quite a bit of help.” He gestures to the entirety of me. Which, while a true statement, was rude. I scowl at him.

“How the hell do you know my name? Aren’t I a hero, don’t I need to keep that a secret?”

His eyebrows raise in alarm. 

“You mean to tell me that you don’t remember that you’re a hero? My, this is quite a bad case you got going on Mrs.Wing, quite a bad case indeed. You’ve got a classic superhero malady afflicting you right now. Near cliche for my tastes, but common enough in your line of work to create the necessary drama I suppose.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I shake my head in confusion. Perhaps this guy is nothing more than a really bad hallucination. I mean, it happened in Fight Club. It could happen to me, right? That was a valid thing that could occur, right?  Also, why is he talking like that?

“Hey, why are you talking like that?”

He cocks his head. “Like what?”

“God, never mind. What malady am I afflicted with?”

He cracks a smile, the bastard. 

“I’m afraid it's a case of occupational amnesia. Hits all the heroes at least once in their careers. But I do have to say it hit you at a very hard time. Jade is going insane looking for you. Problem is, not sure she’ll find you.”

Jade.

Jade. Jade. Why does that name mean something to me? It means... Happy. It means safe. It means joy, it means love, it means… anger. It means upset. It means disappointment. It means betrayal. Why? Who is Jade?

And why won’t she find me?

“Ah well, I suppose it's not my place to get involved in those issues. Merely to get the ball rolling.”

I shake the thoughts out of my head.

“Wait, what do you mean ‘get the ball rolling’? Did you start this?! Did you put me here?!”

I move to stand up, readying my good arm to slug him across that greek chiseled jaw of his. One push from him sent me back onto the bench, the air leaving my lungs.

“Now, now. No need to go hurt yourself more. No, Mrs.Wing, I did not put you here. However, I see a great opportunity for character development right now. You have quite a bit of flaws, I think this will serve as a great opportunity for you to iron those out.”

“Fuck you too, asshole. You stand there, talking like you know so much about me and then tell me it's a good thing I caught goddamn amnesia and a broken arm? Because it builds character? Do you coach youth football after school too?” I scoff at the almighty jerkwad in front of me.

“Your growth won’t be as good if I just give you all the answers now. No, I think you forgot who you were long before you forgot who you were if you get my meaning.” He reaches up to his mouth, lighting another cigarette.

“What the hell do you mean?! Just tell me who I am, you jackass!” I stand up and grab his lapels. For the first time, I notice a wedding ring on my left hand. 

I am married. He knows I am married and doesn’t tell me to who.

My rage grows. He knows. He knows so much and chooses not to tell me because of goddamn ‘character growth’? I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him right here, right now. I’d do it right here if I didn’t need him to tell me who I am.

He laughs in my face, blowing smoke into my eyes. My hands release as they go to my nose to block the smell. The smoke grows larger and larger until all I see is murky grey haze.

“All in due time, Mrs.Wing. However, right now I need to do my job and ‘get this ball rolling’. Pardon me, but this will be the only time I will do something this violent.”

“What?!” I scream out, looking all around me. I barely catch the movement of his fist in the corner of my eye before it all goes black again.

In my dreams, I hear the sound of fluttering fabric, the unlocking of deadbolt, and the arguing of strangers.

In my dreams, all I see is fiery orange. And all I want to do is feel its warmth, one more time.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

You’ll Never Be Alone.

???: UUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!

!!??

*Monodam lurches awake by the sound of screaming inside the closet. He opens the door and rushes inside.

WHAT-IS-GOING-ON!?

Kaede!? KAEDE!?

RRUUUUHAAAAHAHAAGH!

*Kaede starts to spazz out on the floor, jittering uncontrollably and her eyes rolling back in her head. She rolls around as if something is crawling inside her skin!

What’s going on!? What did you do!?

I-DO-NOT-KNOW! SHE-APPEARS-TO-BE-OVERHEATING! WAIT! I-WILL-GATHER-SOME-ICE-PACKS!

I-HAVE-RETURNED. IS-SHE-OK?

The screaming stopped, and so did the jittering. Not she’s just lying there breathing heavily.

She looks like she’s been sucked dry of energy as well...

Uuuuugh...

*Sure enough, Kaede’s face looks exhausted and skeletal, like her life force has been drained somehow. Monodam slaps the ice pack on her head.

I-ALSO-BROUGHT-YOU-SOME-FOOD. I-DOUBT-IT’S-CLASSIFIED-AS-BREAKFAST-BUT-IT’S-HEALTHY!

*Monodam hands Kaede an apple. She takes it and bites into it, her face looking calmer and relaxed when tasting the juice.

Phew...Thanks, that really helped.

What the hell was THAT all about. I don’t think that’s a normal reaction for humans to wake up to.

INDEED. YOU-LOOK-LIKE-YOUR-METABOLISM-WENT-TOO-FAST-FOR-YOUR-BODY-TO-KEEP-UP.

Ah, right, I get it now...I’m not quite sure what it was, but before I went to bed last night, I took one of these.

*She holds up a small pill.

What’s that?

Kuripa gave two of them to me after the incident in America was over, and I forgot I had them in my backpack until now. He calls them Suproteins. 

Suproteins?

I-HAVE-NEVER-HEARD-OF-SUCH-A-THING?

I doubt you would have. According to him, they’re one of Seiko Kimura’s latest inventions. A pill that accelerates the body’s healing process.

But they’re still in the testing phase, and Kuripa did warn me that they might heal more than they’re meant to.

And you took it anyway!?

Well, I just thought...since I had it!

I thought you were DYING! Don’t do that again!

...I’m sorry...really...

I just...thought it was worth a go. Yesterday, I was in so much pain I could barely sleep, so I thought I’d feel better if I gave it a try.

AND-HOW-DO-YOU-FEEL-RIGHT-NOW?

Like all my energy got sucked out of me with a vacuum. I think it’s gonna be a while before I can stand.

Fine...We’ll just...rest for now.

...

*Monodam plumps himself down next to her.

I-AM-SORRY.

Huh?

MOST-OF-THE-INJURIES-YOU-STRUGGLED-WITH-CAME-FROM-ME. I-AM-APOLOGISING-FOR-IT.

Oh...It’s ok.

IT-IS?

Huh?

I-COULD-HAVE-KILLED-YOU. AND-YET-YOU-ARE-CHOOSING-TO-FORGIVE-ME. I-DO-NOT-UNDERSTAND.

Hey...I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any reservations about you.

But you made it right. And that’s what matters. You’ve done well to earn my trust.

You’ll have to work harder to earn mine, but...I get what she’s saying.

Thanks for the help, whatever it’s worth.

...

*Monodam hangs his head.

...

I guess it doesn’t feel good, huh?

HM?

Fighting your own family like this...Having to help me kill them.

...IT-WOULD-NOT-BE-THE-FIRST-TIME.

Why DID you kill your siblings back in the Killing Game?

I-HAD-MY-REASONS. THOUGH-ARGUABLY-NOT-VERY-GOOD-ONES.

I-HAD-SUSPECTED-PAPA-KUMA’S-WORDS-ABOUT-OUR-DEATH’S-BEING-PERMANENT-WERE-NOT-THE-TRUTH. SIMPLY-BECAUSE-I-KNEW-IT-WOULD-BRING-A-LOT-OF-DESPAIR-SHOULD-WE-SHOW-UP-AGAIN.

SO-I-WASN’T-AFRAID-OF-DEATH. AND-DURING-EACH-TRIAL-MY-SIBLINGS-ALL-DID-SOMETHING-THAT-UPSET-THE-BALANCE-OF-LOYALTY-WE-HAD-AS-A-FAMILY.

SO-I-TOOK-THEM-OUT-BEFORE-ANYONE-ELSE-HAD-A-CHANCE-TO. INCLUDING-MYSELF.

“Upset the balance?”

I guess you do say a lot about everyone wanting to get along, huh?

WE-SHOULD-GET-ALONG. WE-CAN-SHARE-IN-GRIEF.

THOUGH-I-DOUBT-YOU-WOULD-FEEL-THE-SAME-WAY. YOU-WOULD-NOT-KILL-YOUR-OWN-SIBLING-TO-RESTORE-BALANCE, WOULD-YOU?

At least you understand that much.

PERHAPS-I-AM-JUST-GRASPING-DESPERATELY-AT-STRAW...

Huh? Wh-What’s wrong?

...

YOU-TOLD-ME-YOU-WOULD-AID-ME-IN-MAKING-MY-OWN-WAY-IF-WE-EVER-GOT-OUTSIDE-RIGHT? 

I did say that, yes. Why, are you having second thoughts?

IN-A-WAY. I-DO-NOT-PLAN-ON-BETRAYING-YOUR-KINDNESS, AFTER-YOU-SAVED-ME, BUT...

But what?

I-REALIZE, EVEN-IF-YOU-WERE-TO-PUT-IN-A-GOOD-WORD-FOR-ME, I-DOUBT-I-WILL-EVER-FEEL-COMFORTABLE-LIVING-AMONGST-HUMANS, EVEN-IN-FUTURE-FOUNDATION.

AND-THERE’S-NO-CHANCE-OF-ZETSUBOU-TAKING-ME-BACK, EVEN-IF-I-KILL-YOU.

Ah...I get it...

You’re saying that your crisis is...you don’t have anywhere to go anymore, right?

NOWHERE-THAT-I-FIT-IN, IN-THE-VERY-LEAST.

I-CANNOT-TRULY-FIT-IN-WITH-THE-KUBS-BECAUSE-I-AM-A-ROBOT. I-CANNOT-FIT-IN-WITH-OTHER-ROBOTS-BECAUSE-I-AM-A-BEAR. I-CANNOT-FIT-IN-WITH-HUMANS-BECAUSE-I-AM-A-ROBOT-AND-A-BEAR.

THERE’S-NO-PLACE-IN-THE-WORLD-FOR-THE-LIKES-OF-ME.

...

Yeah I mean...That sucks...

Sora! Can you not be rude for 5 freaking seconds!?

Hold on, there was about to be a “but!”

...?

I was just gonna say I get how it feels, but that’s not something you need to worry about.

Yes, it’s true that lots of humans don’t accept things for what they are, but a lot of people in the Future Foundation are welcoming, and are willing to make peace for anyone. Even people who they may have once considered worst enemies.

That’s just how things are under Ms Naegi. She might seem cool and distant, but there’s hardly anyone sweeter.

If Kaede and I both put a good word in...She and the Future Foundation will help you find your place. If you don’t believe in them, believe in US.

ARE-YOU-SURE? HOW-DO-I-KNOW-THEY-WON’T-TRY-TO-KILL-ME-ON-SIGHT?

Well, the honest answer is we don’t.

But I think they’ll be willing to listen if Kaede and I explain that you helped to save our lives so...

Yeah, maybe keep doing that.

I...

It doesn’t feel good, does it...Getting into disagreements with your siblings? And not having the chance to make things right.

HOW-DO-YOU-KNOW?

You and I are the same...At least in that regard.

Kaori was the one person in my life who I thought understood me...But then we started to drift apart as we got older...And then she died before I ever had a chance to make things right with her...

That might have been what made me sign up for Danganronpa. Nobody came to my aid when I was in mourning, and I lost all faith in humanity. Just like you Kubs.

YOU-DID-MENTION-YOUR-SISTER...BUT...YOU-SEEM-SO-HOPEFUL, FREE-AND-HAPPY, COMPARED-TO-ME-AND-EVERYONE-ELSE. 

NOTHING-IN-LIFE-IS-GOING-YOUR-WAY-RIGHT-NOW. YOU’RE-TRAPPED-IN-HERE-WITH-NO-ONE-TO-HELP-ASIDE-FROM-ME-AND-KABUYA-SAMA. YOUR-LIFE-IS-IN-DANGER-EVERY-SECOND, AND-YOU’VE-ALMOST-DIED-SEVERAL-TIMES.

Uh...Thanks for the reminder.

SO-HOW? HOW-CAN-YOU-REMAIN-SO-HOPEFUL-IN-SPITE-OF-EVERYTHING? THE-NUMBER-OF-TIMES-ZETSUBOU-HAVE-TRIUMPHED-OVER-YOU-IS-SEVERELY-HIGH-COMPARED-TO-HOW-MANY-TIMES-YOU-HAVE-TRIUMPHED-OVER-THEM.

Alright, that’s a BIT of an exaggeration but...to answer your question...

It’s because I wasn’t alone. And I know that I never will be. And I’ve learned from the mistakes I’ve made in the past, trying to take matters into my own hands, even though it comes with consequences.

I stand that there’s nothing wrong with taking the problems of the people I love and making them my own, but I know now that we can’t solve these sorts of issues unless we do it as a team.

Like I told you, I lost the only person I ever truly considered family, and that’s what made me join Danganronpa. But after all that was done and we had a chance to live new lives here, I found a NEW family. Not just my Killing Game friends, but all the great people who I met along the way.

Like Sora!

Aww...Kaede...My heart would be melting if I had one.

Do you see what I mean?

...!?

*Monodam is caught by surprise as Kaede suddenly reaches over and hugs him.

You don’t have to be alone. Regardless of who or what you are, there’s always going to be someone who truly cares about you.

So...don’t feel so down and out so soon, alright?

...AKAMATSU...

You can call me Kaede. Since we’re going to be friends in here, we can drop the formalities.

...ALRIGHT. THANK-YOU-FOR-YOUR-KIND-WORDS, KAEDE.

I-ADMIT, I DO-NOT-UNDERSTAND-THEM-FULLY, BUT-I-WILL-ENDEAVOUR-TO-TRY-TO.

Just don’t give us any reason to regret putting faith in you. If you’ve got any remaining secrets, you might as well spill them now.

AH...!

Wh-What?

KABUYA-SAMA. YOUR-WORDS-JUST-NOW-REMINDED-ME-OF-SOMETHING.

Huh? What do you mean?

YOU-SAID-TO-SPILL-ANY-REMAINING-SECRETS. THERE-IS-ONE-SECRET-IN-THIS-LAB-THAT-I-NEGLECTED-TO-TELL-YOU-UP-UNTIL-NOW.

IN-TRUTH...DOCTOR-ANDO-WAS-NOT-THE-ONLY-PERSON-IN-THE-LAB-WE-WERE-DESIGNATED-TO-LOOK-AFTER.

Wait...What!?

Hold on...You mean...Someone else is in here with us!?

YES...HOWEVER-THEIR-CIRCUMSTANCES-ARE-VERY-DIFFERENT-FROM-YOURS.

What are you talking about?

CAN-YOU-STAND?

BECAUSE-I-BELIEVE-IT’S-BETTER-IF-I-SHOW-YOU.

[dancinginfreedom]

Today, I woke up feeling lethargic. My back and shoulder soring more than any other day that it did. But, I got up anyway. Went for my favorite mug in the kitchen, poured my usual morning hot karak into it. Rummaged through my plastic of groceries underneath my bed and found a pack of wafer to eat with my hot drink to welcome the morning. I reached for the book I’m reading these days, and just like that, I deliberately tried to start my day in a peaceful manner.

I was browsing instagram yesterday, and there was one particular reel that reminded me while clicking my loud keyboard at this very moment. It was about conventionally finding a reason to wake up each morning no matter how trivial it is. It was, in summary, finding your purpose each passing day. Today, it was freaking hard to do that especially with a back ache that screams “notice me, i need to be mended!”.

As I was slowly scanning my eyes through the words of the book in front of me telling “when you’re in an emotional state, empty your mind and take a break”, I unconsciously stopped and found myself staring blankly at the three-wick scented candle I lit at my bedside table while lying down on my stomach. Suddenly, everything felt so strange to me. Then, I knew, in that moment, I’ve never experienced this before….in a long while.

Afterwards, I just wanted to fall back to sleep even after having a full eight hours of sleep last night. I wanted to empty my mind and just give in to my desire of sleeping again despite not feeling sleepy. I was indeed in lethargy.

Yet, after that short peacefulness, my mind started to go full cycle at work again. I randomly wanted to write while my chaotic brain cells are somehow in sync with each other. I tried to save all these conceptual thoughts as much as I can that just kept flashing in a snap through my mind.

Just like that, in the rarity of all days, today was the day that my heart was at it again telling my brain “you’re still gonna achieve that dream to write your own book one day”. And unlike any other rare day, my brain agreed responding “I trust you, despite the chaos and messiness I bring to you every time you try to put all the floating thoughts in me altogether”.

I got out of bed, decided to take my shower to freshen up. And, here I am — typing a piece of my life story by sharing what my day looks like. Well, pretty much a day of choosing to first embrace my own emotional creases, without forcing myself to be positive nor to smile, bearing in mind the phrase “repressed emotions build up over time and would start to rot, blocking the way for all our feelings, even the positive ones”, from I’m Not Lazy, I’m on Energy Saving Mode.

It is better to release what you feel, deal with them head on than avoiding them by digging a hole to pile them up. Prevention is indeed better than cure. And when it comes to our emotional wellbeing, prevention might look like this:

“deal with me now, even recklessly is okay. it is better that way than not acting upon it at all”

Dealing with our emotions, fortunately, doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It is making a space for a break — to feel and sit in with all that we feel. It is not even about understanding WHY nor figuring out WHERE they are coming from.

I do think that our emotions should not be left to harden and get swept to the side. Sometimes, just trying to understand our emotions AS THEY ARE without even knowing the answer, is THE ANSWER.

Stomach cramps just said “HI” to me while I’m trying to finish up this blogpost, unlocking the key why I’m feeling blue since last night and lethargic since this morning. Oh well, of course, I’m no exception to the hormones attack that every woman experiences whenever that period comes every month. And this makes me have the right to say…

ANSWERS do show up, from time to time, oddly most times, when we’re not even looking for them (ughh, but yeah, being a woman is so weird too, don’t you think? 🥺😬😅)

(this is the first ever post i’ve published on this platform after being on an unintentional hiatus for exactly a year and a half)

[onlyforyoukook]

Daddy issues || JJK

paring: mafia jk x fem¡reader

genre: smut, yandere, a bit of angst, mafia au

a/n: this isn’t proofread so sorry for spelling errors. Anyway enjoy.

MDNI 🔞

Warnings: mafia jk, married couple, virgin reader, yandere, hair pulling, unprotected sex, nonchalant jk, guns, mentions of gas station bathroom sex, ass griping, aftercare, attempted suicide, overstimulation, dom jk, kidnap, violence, submissive reader, name calling, pet names. etc;

synopsis: your nonchalant mafia husband who never pays attention to you but something changes his mind or someone..

You woke up to the breeze of the window being open, you look at the bed and notice your husband didn’t come in last night. It’s nothing new though. Not like he’s being coming anyway. Just as you’re about to hit the hay once again. Jungkook bursts into the room. “There’s breakfast made for you.” as he coldly and quickly walked out the room. you go downstairs to eat your breakfast..

When you notice jungkooks bodyguard eyeing you down. “Something i can help you with sir?” you say sternly. “n-nothing ma’am.” the bodyguard said quickly as he looks away to avoid eye contact.

“Okay, I’ll take my leave.” You stood up as you excused yourself from the table. Jungkooks bodyguard eyes follows you all the way to the sink examining your body. In paradise. Jungkook quickly notices. “Eyes off my wife.” he said in the most sexiest nonchalant way possible. “Yes sir!”

The bodyguard stood intense as he started sweating, knowing what’s about to go down once you leave the kitchen. As you’re leaving out Jungkook quickly stops you by saying your name. “Y/N” “yes?” you say surprised as he never really talked to you unless he’s telling you to do something.

“I’m taking you on a date tonight, be ready by 9.” as he walked out of the kitchen. Now you’re happy as ever this is the first date you guys have been on since your parents forced you to get to him married a year ago. He was also much older than you so you didn’t expect him to be interested in such things. As you excitedly make your way to the bathroom you quickly notice something in the end corner of your hallway but you think nothing of it.

You’re swaying to the music playing as you’re showering. However.. You hear a knock on the door. You’re confused because who would be knocking on the door? you quickly wrapped your towel around your body and opened the door. Jungkooks bodyguard? “What th-“ before you could finish your sentence he quickly grabbed you.

Muffled screams — a bag over your head. “shutup and stop moving.” he tells you as you try and kick him. “this’ll all be easy if you just shut the fuck up and go along with it.” he says in a angry tone. “Why are you doing this to me?” — “There’s always a reason for everything.”

Last thing you remember is being dragged out of your own home. “where am i?” trying to look around but it’s pitch darkness. “don’t worry about it babygirl.” his bodygaurd says as he moves a strand of hair out of your face, and plant a kiss on your cheek. “NO PLEASE.” you screamed. “please just let me go.”

“Can’t do that cutiepie.” he starts to rant about jungkook, as you try to find a way to escape. He quickly notices you and laughs. “Whatever you’re doing, it’s not gonna work.” as he pointed his gun and the back of your head.

Now more scared than ever you don’t know what to do. You wonder what jungkooks doing, if he’ll be able to save you. You just start thinking of all the possible scenarios. what if he kills me??? He slowly slides the muzzle of the gun down the back of your head.

Shit you thought to yourself, how did i get myself into this situation. as you start to cry, he gets irritated at the sound of you crying and clocks you in the back of the head with the gun. what did you ever do to him..

3 DAYS LATER

You’re waking up remember nothing that happened. It feels as you’ve been in here for days, where’s jungkook? Has he been looking for you? So many thoughts intrude your brain. As you start to break down once again, quietly.

“Why did it have to be me.” you say as you wipe a tear. You notice a dim light in the corner of the room. “are we in a barn??” you ask your self confused. You notice a shard of glass on the ground. You let your intrusive thoughts win.

Just as you were about to end it all, jungkook your savior, your husband, your everything. he comes in and screams your name as he run towards you. This is the most worried you’ve ever seen him. As he never worried about you.

He quickly grabs you and notices a long cut going down your leg, now he’s more angrier than ever. “Who did this to you Y/N? I’ll find that bastard and kill him.” You’ve never expected jungkook to be so protective of you.

“I-it was..” you try and seek out his name but once again you start to break down. “It’s okay My love if you’re not ready to say it then you don’t have to.” — “no i’m okay” you say as you sniffle. “It was andres.. your body guard” — “That bastard? How could i have been so dumb to let him around my family.”

Andres not knowing jungkook was here comes out, “i have to kill yo-.” his sentence is cut short when jungkook punches him in his face. You close your eyes as you don’t wanna see that. Your sight of them fighting is making matters even worse. “TAKE Y/N OUT OF HERE NOW.” jungkook screams at his body guards. As they grab you and put you in the car, you hear a gun shot.

Your heart drops. luckily jungkook came walking out of there. He’s looks horrible, likes he’s been the one kidnapped. You cry as you have nothing else to do. “Take care of him.” jungkook tells his bodyguards as he gets in the car.

Now more furious than ever, jungkook is speeding on highway swerving past every car. “Jungkook please slow down.” you say concerned. He looks at you and scoffs. “Y/N, i never got the chance to ask you, are you okay my love?” — You started blushing as he never asks such this. “i-im doing w-well.” barely straining the words out of your mouth.

He sets his hand on your thigh as he rubs it softly and slightly. You’re starting to get wet, at his actions. You pull up to a gas station, in the middle of nowhere. “get out, we’re getting snacks.” — you’re now as happy as ever, but as soon as you step out of the car, you fall.

Barely able to stand up, Jungkook quickly notices you and runs to grab you. “i got you sweet girl.” — you slowly wrap your arms around him as he carries you into the gas station bathroom. The cashier called out, “uh sir you can’t go into the women’s restroom.” jungkook just ignored him. He started to clean your face and around your scar, “we can’t let this get infected, now can we?” you nod your head.

You’re loving this princess treatment he’s giving you. This is probably the most he’s spoken to you since you got married. You can’t resist him as you give him a peck on his cheek. “thank you so much for this.” — “i’d do anything for my wife, even if i don’t show it.” — this made you more hornier than ever. as you dash forward and kiss him on his lips.

You quickly backed away as you covered your mouth. “im so sorry.” — “nothing to worry about sweetheart, a little kiss won’t hurt will it?” — So you start making out, the soft moans escaping your lips as he kisses down your neck. You quickly stop. “i-im a virgin.” covering your face in embarrassment. “i know darling, that’s why i didn’t do but kiss you.” as he places a soft kiss on your temple.

“Love i don’t you to have your first time in a gas station bathroom.” — he was so cute, so worried about you. It made you hornier than ever. “Let’s go home shall we?” you quickly nod your head as he carries you out the bathroom. On the way back home your coldly asleep.

It felt like as soon as you closed your eyes, you were home. jungkook doesn’t even bother waking you up. He carries you into the house. But he doesn’t take you straight to bed. He takes you to the bathroom as he wraps up your leg. “thank you kookie.” tiredly rubbing your eyes. He looks up at the nickname and tilts his head slightly. “kookie?” you dash awake as you apologize, “im sorry.” you say. “You don’t have to be sorry love.” he says as he brushes your hair to the side.

“c’mon love let me put you to bed.” you stand up and fall once again. “idk why you keep doing this to yourself, just let me carries you.” he quickly pics you up like your weight is nothing. He brings you to the bed room and lays beside you.

“Are sleeping in here tonight?” as you grab the blanket, scared to sleep by yourself. “yes love” this one sentence has you folding. “are you okay?” jungkook says as he tilts his head slightly. “yes im fine im fine.” — “ok love get some sleep.” as he cuts off the lights and you both go to bed.

You wake up, wondering if everything was a dream because you don’t see kookie next to you. You stand up, as you limp to the bathroom. Traumatized from what happened in the bathroom a couple of days ago, you quickly shut the door as you leave the room and start looking for kookie. “kookie” you say out. You turn around as you hear “yes love?” so turns out everything wasn’t a dream. You try and run but fail so you limp to him and give him a big fat hug.

“i love you.” you tell him as you hug him tightly as you could. he pushes back from the hug, “you mean that?” he says sternly. — “i do mean it kookie, i love you so much.” — “i love you to Y/N.” as he places a soft kiss on your lips. you tell him “i think im ready.” — “ready for?” he says confused, but interested— “for you to take my virginity.” — he bolts back, in confusion. “you want me to take your virginity?” — “yes kookie i’ve always saved myself until i was married.” you tell him merely embarrassed.

He hugs you in excitement, this was probably the happiest you’ve ever seen him since he normally has a resting bitch face. He picks you up as he carries you to your shared bedroom. “strip.” he says with no emotion on his face. how could he just go from excited to that. But nothing is impossible you think to yourself. You slowly start taking off your clothing.

He admires your beautiful body. “You’re so pretty love.” he tells you as you see drool coming out the side of his mouth. “kook!” you say embarrassed, i think that’s enough staring. He’s so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even hear you. He slowly walks to you and he grips your ass.

He starts kissing you down to your neck. He stops at you boobs , and admire them. “These are MINE, so beautiful.” as he takes one in and starts sucking your boob licking circles around the nipple. You can’t help but moan softly. Which turned him on big time. He started to strip and as he got naked, “suck” he tells you as he strokes his cock.

You get on your knees and slowly start licking circles around his tip. Next thing you know you’re taking him in. Deep throating his dick as he grabs your hair into a ponytail. “yes be a good little slut and suck my cock.” he tells you as he pushes your head for you to take him deeper. You stop to catch your breath breathing hard. “Your dick taste so good kookie.” You tell him as you’re on your knees like a little slut. “Stand up love.” he picks you up and places you on the bed.

He slowly starts kissing from your neck, to your chest, until he makes it to your pussy. Before he began to devour it he asked you “are you sure you wanna do this?” — you nod quickly. He’s licking small circles on your clit, “you don’t know what you’re in for love.” he tells you as he starts devouring you. You start moaning uncontrollably. All these different sensations you’re feeling that you’ve never felt before.

He grabs his cock and starts stroking it, “since you’re my wife we’re going raw.” this comment made you more wet as ever. You start to slide your hand to your pussy , but jungkook quickly slaps it away. “don’t touch.” he says as he slaps the tip of his cock on your clit. “you ready?” he ask you with a concerned look on his face. You shake your head. “words love.”

“Yes kookie please fuck me.” — this turned him on now more than ever rock hard boner. He slowly slides his cock into your pussy. “fuck you’re so tight love.” — “kookie please go slow.” you tell him as you’re in pain. He do as you says and goes slow until you feel no pain, but pleasure.

He starts picking up his paste. “fuck kookie.” — who knew he could fuck this good? he starts sucking your breast as he rubs circles on your clit. You moan in pleasure. As he start making his way up to your face as he whispers in your ear, “you’re gonna take it all babygirl.” this made you wanna cum then and there.

You start looking away in embarrassment as you moan. “Let me see those eyes.” he tells you as he moves your hands from your face. he sloppily kisses you as he fucks you harder than ever before. “kookie slow down” — “you can take this cock like the good little girl you are.” he tells you as he starts picking up his paste once again.

“You look so good beneath me.” — He turns you over as he start fucking you, grabbing your hair pulling it. You moan quietly. As you feel something building up in your stomach. “kookie.” you say. All he says is “don’t hold back love, let it out.” and so you listening and came around his cock. “Look at you coming like the good little girl you are.” he tells you as he’s still grabbing your hair. Fucking you better than ever, “i’ll give you a cream pie, fuck my kids into you.” He tells you as he’s close.

“Fuck, y/n your pussy is so good.” as he flips you back over “we aren’t don’t just yet love.” you want to take control, you want tk take over so you slowly sit on top of him as you ride him like a cowgirl. “fuck, y/n you take me so well.” just him speaking is almost sending you over edge. You continue riding him letting out soft quiet moans. “Louder, let me hear you love.” he tells you, as you begin to moan at your full length.

“I can take it.” you moan out as you feel your climax reaching once again. “you can take it love, let it out.” as he rubs your clit. You start moving slowly as your climax is reaching. “c’mon love you can do better than that.” — this riles you up, and once again you’re feeling in control.

“I’m gonna come y/n ah fuck.” he tells you as he start fucking you back. There’s an over-sensory you start feeling not knowing what it is. Overstimulation. “Fuck kook”, you say as he cream pies you once again. He flips you over as he leaves the getting ready to leave the room. “where ya going kook?” — he just ignores you and walks out the room. “feeling disappointed and discomfort, almost start to cry as you see jungkook coming in the room with a warm towel. Tears of joy in your eyes

“C’mon love let’s go shower yeah?” — you nod instantly he picks you up and takes you to the shower. Once you both get out you go to bed. The things that are to come.

[wendytestabrat]

opening up abt the past 2 weeks

so basically the reason why i hadn’t been active lately on here is bc i was like SUPER busy with a full time job but i just went through something really awful it’s like the universe decided to dump a giant nuclear bomb on me but when things like this happen i always try to tell myself that it’s all for a reason, bc god likes to redirect you. so like i got EXTREMELY sick with the flu for days, and i’m still even having some lingering symptoms now but i do feel way better, it was so bad that i was crippled and could barely get out of bed bc i had like 0 energy, so then I couldn’t go to work. i’ve been concerned abt my immune system lately bc i’ve gotten sick like 57382929 times this year, i’ve been constantly sick on and off but i still pushed through it so i could go to work and bc i needed $$$ and bc that’s what professionalism is all abt you work till you’re on your death bed PERIOD. i’m strongly against the lazy entitlement culture that libtards have created today where no one wants to work anymore but that’s a whole rant for another time lol i think i talked abt it in my rant on “Dikinbaus Hot Dogs” which made fun of this shit. but yeah i’ve had BOTH the flu and covid this year and btw i can confirm the flu is way worse, when i had covid i felt fine it was basically just a tiny cold lol (but the effects of covid are different for everyone) when i had the flu like MY GOD i had never been that sick before in my life i couldn’t MOVE. anyways i just had to go on a tangent abt that to further prove my point abt the dumbass media scare abt covid DHJSJS, but that’s not why i’m talking abt this. so yeah basically i feel like i was just forced to quit my job which i’m still feeling really sad and depressed about but I feel relieved at the same time because this was kind of inevitable and had to happen eventually. i think tho my body was just rlly tired and burnt out from constantly working non-stop bc i was working 40 hours a week with little rest and they wouldn’t let me take any time off, look i liked the job but the work life balance was NOT good lol. so i think i had just reached the final stage of burnout and my body totally collapsed on me, bc not getting adequate sleep and rest is not good for your immune system and can make you 100x more sick which is what happened to me.

at first i just missed like 3 days and i thought i would be good to go back to work but then more days were passing by and i was still feeling like shit and that’s when i realized i just had to quit. and then i was rlly beating myself up bc i knew i was gonna quit the job eventually but i wasn’t planning on just quitting the job cold turkey like this bc that never looks good to a company. i thought i would at least find a new job first and give them a 2 weeks notice bc i had made the mistake in the past of just quitting jobs immaturely before when i was younger so i rlly wanted to be an adult abt this this time, but it unfortunately worked out like this. but i feel like it all worked out for the best, because now i’m feeling good again especially that i have time to write again which i miss doing and now i can find a job more fulfilling. it was rlly hard but i had to keep myself calm through this whole storm to see the silver lining. just the other day when i took myself to the park to meditate and let off some steam bc i was so upset right when i finished i saw a rainbow in the sky after it was a dark and gloomy day, I really don’t think that was a coincidence. this was like the calm after the storm or the light at the end of the tunnel or whatever you want to call it.

[myaquariusheart]

15/4

"Today, the best way for you to help others is with a dose of honesty. They'll be grateful for your directness. You can bring out the outcome you want." We had a heated discussion with Mum in the front room just before everyone went to sleep. She wants to retire by 50 and wants us to all support her financially, which, I guess she deserves, she has been looking after us all these years but I just find it ridiculous to have little to no savings and want to retire. She was telling me how she wanted Bab to get a better job but constantly putting him down is not going to motivate him to do better. Knowing were struggling sometimes isn't enough when someone's self-esteem is down and I do know a lot about low self-esteem. I gave her the example of me and Z doing our theory once she stopped forcing us to do it and making us feel bad that we basically don't drive, we finally wanted to do it ourselves with our own inspiration and determination. I don't know who wrote the rules to be Bengali because I hate them honestly. You're all washed up and unwanted if you're a woman whos not married by 27. It's so backward and not fair. We're expected to be married so young and enjoy no freedom. I literally wish I could travel the world and do some things that I love and can do without feeling the guilt of leaving Mum and Dad behind but I guess that's my sad little life. I can of course try and find a really good paying job and save enough to start alone somewhere but I also do want to be loved by a man and be married one day, I guess at my own pace. It's difficult and hard but I guess that part of my journey can start when I finally pass my driving, otherwise, I'm going to have to rely on TFL to get to places. After graduation I need a week at least of nothingness, I want pure relaxation and to do nothing with myself. I'm going to buy myself some new alcohol markers and really practice and focus on drawing and creating some art, I haven't been able to do much of it but I want to make a nice collection again and discover my own personal art style because I don't have one. I've also lost all my old art but luckily I have some pictures. I'm still going to work at the cafe or I will go crazy but you know, no stress. I want to go on holiday to Italy but I have no one to go with (that I would even want to go with) so it's all a bit shit. Anyway, tomorrow is the last day before I go back to my normal routine of Uni and work. Kinda can't wait to go back and kinda can't be bothered too. It's nearly over, five years of a really stressful university journey and I'm proud of myself because I honestly didn't think I could do it. Today was really nice, we watched the Super Mario movie. It was super funny and we were all laughing lots. I loved the silliness and the lightness of the movie and I'm so happy Alv enjoyed it because she's not too familiar with Super Mario brothers. It brought back a lot of childhood memories of playing the DS games and Mario Kart. I loved it and would want to watch it again but somewhere cheaper. The adult ticket was like £16 and that is literally too much. We had the worst pizza hut experience ever, I think it's under new management and that man was a bit horrible and did not have good customer service. I ordered a meal deal for about £20 for one pizza about 11 inch, and then properly reading the menu I saw kids could get their own personal 9inch pizza, with a side, bottomless drink, AND A DESSERT? for £7 so I asked the guy for a refund and he was being arsey about it. On top of that when the guy served the pizza he dropped half of it on the table and we were just wishing we went to Burger King instead. I'm in bed now, gonna try and sleep in a bit. I managed to finish my philosophy essay yesterday but when I go in on Monday or Tuesday I need to re-read it and include some references. Tomorrow my to-do list consists of me collecting my laundry, getting some hair dye, and getting ready for the first day of Uni on Monday.