#anyways feel free to reply even if someone else does - i'm okay with multiples

[bucks-babe]

I’ve been here before lol. I just had to let you know, your virgin Bucky stories live rent free in my head. I hope one day to see him become… not a virgin 👀 if you feel like writing it of course ❤️

Pairing: Virgin!Bucky x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, smut, loss of virginity, slightly sub Bucky, soft!dom reader, riding, multiple orgasms (both), overstimulation, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (Don’t do that), copious amounts of cum, like so much, Bucky has a big dick, cumming untouched, cumming in boxers, ball riding (I know, there’s something wrong with me), crying during sex (Bucky this time, not reader lol), crying after sex, aftercare, Bucky is so sweet, taking care of Bucky, washing Bucky’s hair (This is a warning), my limited ass vocabulary (It’s a warning), actual brain rot, no use of Y/N, check tags at the bottom

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: This has been in the works for so long but I took so damn long to finish it. I would have never guessed that so many of yall would be so invested in this story and Bucky’s journey. This is not the last you will see of these two, don’t worry. I think we should give them each a nickname. Leave a comment on what each of their names should be. Legit just had them call each other baby this entire fic. If I end up giving them nicknames, I’ll go back and put them in for all their stories. Anyway, enjoy!

As you slowly open your eyes, feeling the warmth and comfort of Bucky's embrace, a sense of safety washes over you. His strong arms are wrapped tightly around you. As you turn to face him, you see that Bucky is already awake, his deep blue eyes gazing at you with adoration and love. You can feel the rhythm of his breathing, steady and soothing against your skin. In this moment, nothing else matters except for the love and contentment you feel in each other's arms

"Good morning," he whispers, his voice husky with sleep. The sunlight filters through the window, casting a gentle glow upon his face, accentuating the lines of worry etched there.

With a small smile, you shift closer to him, reveling in the intimacy of the moment. "Good morning," you reply softly, tracing circles on his chest.

Bucky's fingers instinctively tighten around you, as if afraid to let go. "Last night... I didn't mean to let go like that" he admits shyly, his cheeks flushing a rosy hue. "I didn't know I was into that." Bucky felt embarrassed, not being used to letting go and having someone else take care of him. It was such a foreign feeling, yet he loved it, being able to trust someone completely, trusting you more than he does himself. Your heart swells at his vulnerability.

"Oh Bucky, it's okay. I liked it, I liked taking care of you. There's nothing to be ashamed about."

Bucky's eyes soften, relief flooding his features as he takes in your words. "You liked it?" he asks, his voice tinged with both surprise and hope.

A gentle nod escapes you, your fingers continuing their soothing motion on his chest. "Yes, Bucky. I enjoyed every moment of it," you reassure him, your voice filled with sincerity.

He exhales a breath he didn't realize he was holding, a weight lifting off his shoulders. "I've never let myself be vulnerable like that before," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared of losing control."

A tender smile graces your lips as you cup his cheek, caressing it with your thumb. "Bucky, being vulnerable doesn't mean losing control. It means trusting someone enough to let them in, to share yourself completely." Your words carry the weight of understanding and acceptance.

He gazes at you, his blue eyes reflecting a mixture of desire and hesitation. "I don't want to disappoint you, you know? You've been with experienced men before who knew how to pleasure you. I'm not sure if I can do the same for you." The poor thing was terrified of letting you down. He loves you so much, but what if he can’t please you? Would you leave him for someone better? How many people would even want to be with a man who knows almost nothing about pleasing a woman? 

Your hand reaches out to cup Bucky's cheek, your thumb brushing across his rough stubble. His skin is warm and soft under your touch. As you sit up, your hand still resting on Bucky's chest, feeling the faster beat of his heart under your palm. His skin is warm and smooth against your fingertips, a reassuring and comforting touch.

"Last night you gave me the most intense orgasm I've ever experienced with a man. Those other men? They think that one trick that worked on one woman will work on every woman. But you, my love? You listened to me and my body, which is more than most men can say."

Your voice softens as you look into Bucky's eyes, seeing the raw emotion and vulnerability that lies within them. "Bucky, I don't want to give you the impression that you're not enough. You were amazing last night, and I’m glad that you trust me enough to share that part of yourself."

His eyes soften, a look of gratitude and relief washing over him. He leans in to kiss your forehead, his hand brushing against your cheek, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips. "Thank you," he whispers, the words feeling like a heavy weight finally lifting off his shoulders. He takes a deep breath, and you can see a newfound confidence and determination in his eyes. "I want to learn, to be better for you. To make you feel the way you felt last night, every time."

A smile tug at the corner of your lips as you lean in to kiss him gently. "I believe in you, Bucky. And I know that you'll learn and grow, just like you did last night. And I’ll be right there to show you how." With a reassuring nod, Bucky pulls you into a deep and passionate kiss, his hands cradling your face. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine.

Slowly, he pulls away from the kiss, leaving behind a trail of electric energy on your lips. "I want to make love to you today," he whispers. "I want to give you everything I have, and show you just how much I care." Your heart swells with love for the man who would give you anything.

“Are you sure, Bucky? We don’t have to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. I’m perfectly fine waiting for you, however long it takes.” You cup his face, staring into his eyes, seeing determination yet anxiety in his eyes. He wants to do this, have you be his first and only, he’s sure of it.

“Yes. I want more, I want everything with you. Last night, making you feel good, it sparked something in me. I want to do it again. Fuck, you looked so sexy when you came.” Just at the thought of the taste of your pussy and the image of you writhing on the bed in pleasure makes his cock throb, filling with blood. The feel of your naked breasts pressed against him is doing nothing to stop it either.

“If you’re sure, baby, we will. You want to follow my lead or experiment by yourself?” The thought of you trusting him enough to let him do whatever he wants to your body makes him whine, bucking his hip into your bare core, the boxers doing little to hinder the feeling on his sensitive dick.

“Want to follow you, please.” As you take the covers of the pair of you, Bucky’s eyes go right to your tits, hands moving on their own accord to cup them. You’re proud that he was comfortable enough to touch you without hesitancy. 

You roll onto your back, Bucky following without a second thought, hands still on you, Bucky sits on his knees, admiring the view of your spread pussy. “I want you to finger me. You remember how, baby?” Of course Bucky remembers how, he remembers how much it made you moan and wiggle on the bed, how you were clenching on them when you came, how fucking tight you got. Bucky nods, right hand moving to your pussy. He needs to use his right hand, needs to feel how wet and tight you are. 

Thumb moving to your slit, he gathers the wetness that has been pooling there since you felt his hard cock through his boxers and drags it up to your clit, rubbing it just the way you taught him, the small gasp that leaves your lips lets him know he’s doing it right. His eyes can’t leave your pussy, memorized by the wetness leaving it. He trails his middle and ring finger down and slowly enters you, cock somehow getting even harder at your feel.

His metal hand comes down to rub your clit as his fingers speed up, wanting you to cum so fucking bad. “Just like that, baby. You’re doing so fucking well. Making me feel so good.” Bucky can feel his heavy balls pulling up, cum about to burst from his cock, hips thrusting in the air, meeting nothing. Heat creeps up his cheeks, he knows he’s going to cum before you without even touching anything. He wants so fucking bad to jerk his cock, coaxing his huge load out, but he can’t leave your pussy.

You clench tights around him, your orgasm building up as well. Bucky can’t handle it, the way your head hits the pillows, eyes closed in pleasure, moans getting higher in pitch. Within seconds, Bucky’s cock bursts, cum pouring from his tip, immediately soaking the front of his boxers, leaking down until it lands on the bed, his moans louder than yours. At the sound of his pleasure you cum, clit twitching under his fingers, waves upon waves passing through you. 

As you come down from your orgasm, you realize that Bucky is still cumming. “Baby, why won’t it stoppp, fuckk, please, feels so fucking good, shitt, please.”At his words the last of him cum dribbles out. The sight of his flushed cheeks and the soaking wet boxers almost makes you cum again. Sitting up, you push Bucky off the bed until he stands, taking off his underwear and pulling him back onto the bed, laying him down.

“You still want to do anything else, baby?” You desperately want to have his cock inside of you, have him cumming that much in your pussy, letting it leak out all over his balls down to the bed, but if he doesn’t want to go any further you’ll stop, no questions asked.

“Oh fuck yes! Want you to ride me please.” The whole of his sentence comes out as a moan, cock still sensitive and hard, ready for you to take it however you please. Straddling him, you grab him lining him up with your pussy. You look at him and at his nod, you start to sit on him. As soon as the tip breaches you, he cums, and he cums hard. “OH SHIT! FUCK, YES! FUCK I’M CUMMING!” He’s practically screaming, but he can’t find it in himself to care, the most intense orgasm of his life coursing through him. 

Hands flying to your hips, he pulls you all the way down, bucking into you with so much force you have to grab the headboard. “ OH FUCKING SHIT!  DON’T FUCKING STOP! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” It’s not like you could even if you tried, only option to take his assault, and fuck if it doesn’t feel amazing. Your moans almost match his in volume, pussy still trying to adjust to the size of him, balls slapping against your ass. After a few seconds, you already feel his cum being forced out of you to make room for his cock. His cum now all over both of your sexes, his balls, your ass, and the bed.

His orgasm lasts minutes, the amount of cum leaving his cock never slowing down, hips never stop slamming into yours. During his orgasm, you cum too, the sight was so hot you couldn’t help yourself. When your pussy was clenching around him so tight he somehow got louder. Eventually, he orgasm abated and his hips stopped, laying limb on the bed. 

Shame washed over him, at how much he lost himself to his orgasm, how rough he was with you. “I’m so sorry, baby. Please tell me you’re okay. Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.” 

“Fuck, Bucky, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.” Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting you to be so turned on by his orgasm. His cock was still rock hard inside of you, giving you an idea. “What position do you want to do next?” Bucky almost cums again at those words, he knows what he wants, but is almost embarrassed to ask. However, his cock is thinking for him, washing away his inhibitions.

“Can you ride me?” You just smile and start to pick up your hips but he stops you. “From the back.” You throb at that. He wants to watch your ass bounce on him. 

You pull off, hissing at the empty feeling and turn around. You grab his cum soaked balls and you feel them twitch in your palm. Pulling them up you turn your head to Bucky. “Do me a favor and close your legs for me.” He doesn’t ask a single question and does so immediately. You let his balls fall on top of his legs and put his cock right back in, not waiting a second to start bouncing, grinding your clit on his slick balls at the end of every bounce.

“Oh, fuck. How does your ass move like that, shit. Looks so sexy.” His hands ghost over your cheeks, not knowing what to do with the sight in front of him.

“Smack my ass, baby.” He groans, and lays a light slap to your right cheek. “Harder, Bucky. Leave your mark on me.” His Oh shit is ignored as he slaps you a little harder, still not hard enough, cock pulsing at the sight of your ass bouncing, feeling it move under his hands. “Don’t be a little pussy, baby. Give it a slap like a fucking man.” Maybe it was a little mean, but you needed to feel his hand coming down on you. His near constant moans get louder, clearing enjoying the degradation. The next slap is hard. “Yes, little harder, baby. Fuck! Just like that, keep going. Don’t stop, want your handprints all week.”

He keeps going, smacking you harder each time. His balls rubbing on your clit pull up and he cums once again. This time, though, he pulls out, jerking his cock, cumming all over your ass. “Fucking shit! Wanted me to mark your fucking ass? Well I’m fucking doing it. Cumming so much. Maybe I’ll just stick my dick in your ass and cum in there too.” You don’t know where that came from, but it makes you ride his balls faster, ass jiggling as he continues to cum on it. “That’s so fucking hot, keeping moving that fat ass on me.” You really don’t know where his dirty mouth is coming from but you don’t care because holy hell is it hot.

 Seconds later, Bucky can’t take it anymore and shoves his cock back in your pussy, spreading his legs back out and planting them on the bed so he can fuck up into you. With your ass moving so much with his thrusts, his cum is going everywhere. Bucky lands a hard slap to your cheeks, smacking his cum into them, spreading it all around.

Just like before, he cums for minutes, cum flowing out of your pussy. The entire of both of your hips and your ass and the bed is completely drenched with his cum. When he’s done he pulls you off his cock and spins you around so you’re facing him again. “Baby, my cock is still so fucking hard, I don’t know what to do.” You coo at him, setting your hand against his cheek.

“Don’t worry, baby, I got you.” Instead of slipping his cock back into you, you grind against it, with every roll of your hips his sensitive tip rubs your clit. “Does this feel good, baby?”

“Uh huh, so good.” You see his adam's apple bob and his bottom lip wobble. The feral part of his brain that was fucking you earlier is gone, now your sweet boyfriend is left. He’s not even looking at the way his tip pops out between your folds, no, he’s staring right into your eyes. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against him, every part of your body touching his in some way.

You rest your forehead against his and meet his gaze, tears spilling over and running down the sides of his face. You gently wipe them away but they keep coming. One of his hands goes in between your bodies pushing his cock back inside its home, your warm walls enveloping every inch, both of you gasping. Bucky can’t decide if he wants to keep going or stop, a twinge of pain biting its way up his cock, but you just feel too good. He can’t leave your pussy, needing to cum one last time. The slow grind of your hips never speeds up, gently fucking him, no, making love to him.

Bucky tries to kiss you but the pleasure you’re giving leaves him putty in your hands. The kiss is sloppy and wet, but one of the best kisses you’ve ever had, feeling the words neither of you can get out at the moment. The hairs at the base of his cock rub your clit, building up your final orgasm, Bucky not long behind, trying to hold out for you.

“You’re okay, baby. Want you to cum for me, not far behind.” Any restraint left in Bucky’s body disappears, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he cums for the last time.

“Fuckkk, baby, love you so much, please, I need you to cum for me. Need it so bad.” The slow roll of his tears before shifts to full on sobs, pleasure too much. You pull yourself off his cock, knowing that it’s now too much for him. “No, no, I need you to cum, please.” Your hand trails down your body, fingers rubbing your clit, the sight of you makes Bucky whine, and pull you down into a kiss, where you cum, moaning into his mouth. 

You roll the both of you over, placing Bucky’s head on your chest, lightly scratching his scalp, tracing shapes on his back with your other hand. When his tears subside, Bucky is the first to speak. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

You feel a lump form in your throat. Of course you would always take care of him. There is nothing that you wouldn’t do for him. “I love you so much, Bucky. I could never hurt you, only want to give you the best in life. After all you’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do.” Bucky doesn’t say anything after that, not knowing what to say, not being used to such unbridled love. 

A few minutes pass before the amount of cum and sweat surrounding you gets uncomfortable. “Come on, baby, lets get cleaned up.” Bucky whines but complies anyway. “Get the shower started for me? I’ll change the bed.” He nods and heads to the shower. You work as fast as you can to get the sheets off and a fresh set on. Still naked you run to the washroom and throw the soiled sheets in the wash and start it before running back to the bathroom. 

Bucky is waiting outside of the shower for you, eyes still red from crying, almost shying away from you. Grabbing his hand you lead him into the hot water. “You did so good for me, Bucky. Made me feel incredible. You know, if that was your first time, I’m going to need help from the gods to handle you when you practice more.” That gets a small smile from him. “Don’t get all bashful on me, big man, after you rocked my world back there.”

“Stop it, baby.” His words hold no heat to them, secretly loving your complements. “You did too, rocked my world, you know? Didn’t know it could feel that good. There isn’t anyone else I would rather do that with.” He’s going to make you cry one of these days, saying all this sweet shit to you, and you know he means every single word of it.

“Yeah? How do you feel? Feel okay? I know that was a lot for you.” He dips his head down when you reach for his shampoo, letting you wash his hair, then grabbing the soap and lathering the wash cloth, running it along his body. At the feeling of your soft hands on his body, taking care of him after he gave himself over to you, Bucky can’t respond, too caught up in your love. “Bucky?” Your hands stop, fearing the worst at his silence.

“Feel so good, baby. I…” Bucky chokes up, tears resurfacing. He doesn’t know why he’s crying. You pull him to you, hugging him until he stops. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I just, you make me feel so safe, I can’t control myself, I just feel, you know?” You know because he makes you feel the same way.

“Yeah, I do, baby, I do.” 

“Can I wash you?” After you took care of him, Bucky wants to do the same for you, never wanting you to feel like he was using you. You nod and Bucky takes extra care to get all of his cum off of you, cleaning you up just like you did to him. By the time you’re done in the shower, the water’s cold. Bucky takes a towel and wraps you up first. Before he can reach for his, you take it and dry him off. 

“What do you want to do now? We can cuddle, get something to eat, watch a movie, whatever you want.” You know how important aftercare is, especially when Bucky was feeling so vulnerable after his first time. 

“Can we just cuddle?” He looks almost scared to ask you for such a simple gesture.

“Of course we can.” Taking your hand, Bucky leads you to the bed, foregoing clothes. You pull the blankets up and let him rest his head on your chest, listening to the beat of your heart and steady breathing. Not too long after you hear his light snoring and know he’s asleep, you following soon after in the arms of the love of your life, excited to experience all of Bucky’s firsts with him, seeing him grow, not only in experience, but also confidence.

[smolbonbon]

Despair

A bittersweet short Solar/Moon fanfiction; Please read the Trigger warnings!

TW: Panic attacks, hallucinations, mention of Self-harm (scratching), shocking, swearing, Spinard

Imprisoned and left behind by his own family while the bloodthirsty murderer is on the run. But yes he was the villain in this story. Stuck in grief and helplessness with nobody to comfort him aside from his hallucination of his beloved best friend. Pathetic isn't it?

I will reblog the link to AO3 :)

Here's the sketch version: sketch version

Trapped in a cage as if he was the monster. Moon chuckled as he leaned against the cold wall. Imprisoned by his own family while the bloodthirsty murderer is on the run. But yes they prefer to lock him up instead of letting him kill that animal. Moon grinds his teeth, but no he is the villain in this story. "That's the thanks I get. After everything I have done for them, that's how they pay me back but it's fine, totally fine."

He could deal with the anger of his family later, he only needed to focus on bringing Solar back and then everything would be okay again. After that he can leave for good, they wouldn't want to see him anyway.

However, he needed to find a way out of here first. Moon scanned his cell there had to be something that would help him get out of here. The Lunar animatronic was glad he had night vision because with little light that shone into his room would make it even harder for him. Everything he could see in this small cell was the dripping water from the ceiling and dirt on the floor. Nothing else was in this room and yet it felt as if he was suffocating. Moon's breath hitched as he felt the tight feeling in his chest. "Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.  You're fine, you will get out of here." Moon reassured himself as he rubbed his arms and moved forth and back. It's just a matter of time before he gets out of here. The crescent animatronic tried to override the computer multiple times but every time he was about to, he got shocked or the computer turned itself off. "Stupid sentient Ai." He mumbled under his breath while digging his nails in his arms.

"Moon, do I need to remind you that you're a sentient Ai as well?" Spinard suddenly replied which startled the Lunar animatronic. "Oh fuck off, you piece of shit."

"Does it make you feel better to insult me?" Moon narrowed his eyes and got up. "Maybe it does but you know what also makes me feel better?" Moon asked irritated. "I'm not letting you free, Moon." Spinard stated and Moon laughed in response. "Oh, I think you will. Computer override c-" Moon shrieks as the cage sparked blue and white lights while shocking him. The Lunar animatronic fell to his knees while panting. "Sun will be not happy about this." Spinard verbalized before going offline. "You fucking piece of shit as if I care!" Moon rose to his feet and swung his fist against the wall. "I will find a way to get out of here and you're going to fucking pay for this!" He pointed his finger towards the computer while fighting not to cry.

Moon wheezed as he sat back on the ground. He gripped onto his sweater and gasped for air. The Lunar animatronic hiccuped while tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Moon.." A familiar voice spoke behind him and Moon didn't dare to look. Usually he would commented something snarky to his hallucinations however the panic prevents him to talk. He panted for air, it felt like he didn't get enough of it. "Breath." The shadowy figure spoke. Moon tried to calm down he really did but for some reason, his chest still felt like someone squeezed his lungs. The Lunar animatronic panicked more as the dizziness took over, then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Breath, five seconds in through your nose." Solar vocalized while stimulated inhaling and Moon emulated him. "Hold it." And so did Moon. "And now exhale another five seconds." The dusk animatronic told Moon and they did this a few times until he finally calmed down in some extent. He eyed the floor not even daring to look at Solar's shoes. Why was he so pathetic? He dried his tears and hissed when he accidentally touched his scratch wounds.

"Oh Moon.. What are you doing to yourself?" Solar mumbled heartbroken as he saw the scratches on his cheek. His thumb moved over Moon's open wounds.  The Lunar animatronic hissed as if someone was actually touching the wound.  Moon hiccuped as tears swelled up in his eyes he was aware that this wasn't real but he just wanted for once in months to embrace the warmth of someone who loved him. Moon felt the Phantom movement over his face as he looked directly into Solar's eyes. The tired eyes of his lover, the scratches on his tangerine-coloured rays and his little fangs. He wasn't wearing his goggles though, maybe because.. He moved his hand to his hat and felt the goggles sitting on his head. Solar's lips curled in a slight smile as the Lunar animatronic felt his hands drawing circles on his cheeks.

Oh how much Moon missed him, he wanted to touch Solar's pretty face but he feared if he did so then Solar would disappear again. Moon's lips trembled as he closed his eyes. "I miss you, Solar."

"I know I do too, Star boy." He teased light heartedly. Moon rolled his eyes and smiled slightly but the wistful stirred in his chest. "You're not real." He mumbled and Solar didn't reply to that. "You know what you need to do." The Phantom whispered gently while leaning his forehead to his and wrapping his arms around him. Moon breathed hitched as he tried to hold back tears. "I can't." Solar shook his head and lifted Moon's chin. "I know you can. You know exactly what to do." He stated as he looked deeply in Moon's eyes. "I still love you." Solar affirmed and Moon broke down sobbing loudly.

___________________________________

Author note:

So sorry for the pain </3 I try to make more sweet fanfics or art of them in the future.

[fatesought]

( open // franklin richards )

plot: my muse is an absolute nerd who doesn’t know how to shut up and enjoy a private dance from your muse. maybe they find it endearing? insp.

connections: dancer, stripper, etc; m / f / nb

    Unlike space, the neon-lit club was anything but silent. Thanks to the thunderous music coming out of the sound system, Franklin was bound to have a migraine by the end of the night. Until then, the blonde was with one situation on hand: trying at act as though he hadn’t been stealing glances at one of the dancers in between sets. Before he knew it, he had been caught and the friends he had arrived with were soon whistling for the attention of that dancer; each of his friends quickly pressed money into his hands. Franklin started to protest, “No, really, you don’t have to–”

    His friends would hear none of it. He was the birthday boy, they reminded him, and that meant he would enjoy as many private dances in the VIP section as their money could buy. “Is it too late to sign up for that mission to Mars?” he asked as he was led away by the dancer, “Or to Pluto? Eight hundred years alone in space doesn’t sound too bad, right?”

[wanderinginksplot]

One-Shot: Sev + Motto

Sev x gn!reader fic, features the rest of Delta Squad as supporting characters.

Word Count: 1400 or so

Warnings: reader receives minor injuries (burns) on a mission

---

"Play di’kutla games, win di’kutla prizes."

If you had heard Sev say it once, you had heard him say it a thousand times.

Working with Delta Squad was normally fine. Honestly, it was outright entertaining on a regular basis. As an expert in untraceable comms, you were often partnered with commando squads. Infiltrating enemy planets was a norm in your job, and you made sure the squads could communicate with each other and nearby GAR ships regardless of which side controlled the planetside communications systems.

Delta was one of your favorite groups. Fixer was direct and to-the-point, efficient beyond all else. Scorch was side-splittingly funny, even in the middle of an intense battle. Sev was funny as well, though his humor was darker and full of wickedly clever observations. Boss was a natural leader, and he never felt the need to throw his authority around to make a point. More importantly, Delta Squad accepted you as one of their own, and your work with them was seamless in a way it wasn’t among other commando squads.

Of course, that also meant that you were subject to the same treatment as any other member of Delta Squad.

“Watch your fingers!” Fixer warned. “Heat gloves are standard issue for a reason.”

“Does it look like I have time to put on gloves?” you demanded. “Focus on covering me, and I’ll get this done.”

Two minutes, forty-seven seconds later, you had finished setting up the tower and taken a major step toward establishing communications on the Separatist-controlled planet. You would never admit it to Fixer, but you had thoroughly burnt several of your fingers on the superheated durasteel of the communication diverter’s inner core.

Crawling back through the brush to avoid enemy detection was awful. It may not have been so bad, but the burns were scattered across both of your hands and they were already beginning to blister.

You made it back in good time, despite the injuries you were trying to hide. Boss and Scorch had been the other team, going to plant detonators in the appropriate spots. Despite the comparative complexity of your task, you and Fixer were the first ones back. Sev was there to greet you, scowling at the pair of you.

“Took you long enough,” he grumbled.

“Excuse me, are we not the first team to finish?” you asked, satisfaction clear in your voice.

“Yeah, but if you had been faster, we would have an update on Boss and Scorch by now,” Sev countered. “You know how Scorch gets around too many thermal dets. He may have blown himself up by now and we missed it.”

“Considering how many detonators he had, I’m sure we would have seen the explosion from here,” Fixer told him.

You laughed at the solid point - half because Fixer was funny when he wanted to be and half to release the anxiety and adrenaline of a successfully completed stealth mission.

Fixer leveled an unimpressed look at you. “Besides, some of us could spend this time treating the injuries we’re trying to hide.”

“You got hurt?” Sev asked, frowning at you. From any other squad, it might have sounded like concern, but you immediately spotted it for what it was: a vague irritated belief that you would slow them down.

"Barely," you snorted. "Minor burns, nothing to worry about."

"Until the blisters pop and leave you open to infection," Fixed countered, already taking over the observation post Sev had been manning. "Oh-Seven, take care of it, please? I'm not up to playing medic right now."

"Oh, so I have to?" Sev griped.

You stood up, throwing a look of disgust at the pair. "I think I'll patch myself up, thanks."

You had barely cracked open Delta Squad's first aid kit when heavy footsteps warned that someone had followed you. You ignored Sev's red-streaked armor as he stepped up behind you, focusing instead on spreading bacta gel across the tender burns on your hands.

"Here, just- Would you let me do that?" Sev asked impatiently, taking the gel from your hands.

"I could do it myself," you told him, a little pointlessly, since he had already taken over.

"I know you could, but it'll be faster if you let me."

Sev had removed his helmet, and he had the stubborn set to his jaw that warned that he wasn't going to let this go. Rather than waste both of your time, you rolled your eyes and stuck out your hands. He knelt in front of you, the kit open beside him, and started to apply the bacta gel.

He worked in silence for a few minutes, callused fingers oddly gentle against your skin, until you couldn't take it anymore. "Go ahead, say it."

"Say what?" Sev asked, looking up at you with a frown on his scarred face.

"What you always say," you explained with a frown of your own. "Come on, it's basically your motto."

"I don't have a motto," Sev told you slowly. "I'm not some idiot with a motto. I'm not Scorch."

"Okay, but you can't think of a single phrase you repeat often?" You pressed. "Especially when someone gets hurt doing something you think is stupid?"

"Not really," Sev denied, clearly puzzling it over.

You watched him, aghast at the idea that you had been making up his insulting phrase. As he turned his attention back to your burns, you caught a glimmer in his eye and you nudged him with your foot.

"That's not funny, Sev!" you tried your best to sound furious, but the way you were laughing detracted from the effect. Sev chuckled along with you. "I thought I was going insane!"

"I wouldn't say it to you," Sev said, finishing the last bandage.

You stared at him. "Yeah, of course not. It isn't like you've said it to me multiple times in past missions."

"Well, those, you actually had done something stupid and you got what you deserved," he told you mercilessly. "But this time, you got hurt trying to complete a mission."

"Yeah, but I wasn't wearing the proper gear," you countered.

Sev didn't look impressed, picking up one of your carefully bandaged hands as he spoke. "I know burns, and heat gloves wouldn't have saved you here. Maybe the burns would have been less intense, but we would also be picking melted synthweave out of your hands."

You squeezed Sev's hand since it was still wrapped around your own. "Thanks for making me feel better, Sev, and for taking care of my hands."

"Well, I have to make sure my favorite comm specialist is willing to work with us again," Sev told you, helping you to your feet.

You had never taken a step away, and from your position standing close to Sev, you stared up with a dumb grin spreading across your face. "I'm your favorite comm specialist?"

"You're my favorite anything specialist," he told you and you beamed at him. To your complete shock, he returned your smile, his handsome face glowing with the quiet happiness of the moment.

You began to speak, though you had no idea what you planned to say. Unfortunately - or fortunately - you were interrupted by the arrival of Sergeant Boss and Scorch. Delta Squad's leader was supporting Scorch, who limped along making exaggerated noises of pain.

"Scorch, what happened? Are you okay?" you asked, horrified that he had been hurt.

"I didn't bring enough fuse," Scorch answered, immediately dropping his pained attitude - though his limp didn't change a bit. "Had to run from the site and I twisted my ankle."

"Well, play di'kutla games, win di'kutla prizes," Sev told him sourly as you shot him a disbelieving grin.

"Yeah, yeah," Scorch muttered. "This team doesn't appreciate my talents."

"Talents," Fixed scoffed.

"Of course!" Scorch replied, sounding offended. "It takes talent to get hurt this often and not die."

"The Kaminoans may have bred us for tenacity, but I don't think that's what they had in mind," Boss told him. "There's something to be said for learning from your mistakes."

"Isn't anyone on my side?" Scorch complained, eyeing you pointedly.

You sighed, but threw him some sympathy anyway. "I'm on your side, Scorch. I'm glad you're okay."

Fixer cut short Scorch's gloating. "That's only because you weren't the only one who was injured doing something stupid today."

Scorch gave you a commiserating nod. "Did Sev give you the speech, too?"

You glanced up at Sev. The scarred commando was watching you as he tried to bite back a smile. You shot him a subtle wink and said, "Yeah, something like that."

---

A/N - dedicated to myself, because I say "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" way too often for someone who is usually the one playing the stupid game. Feel free to visit my masterlist for other one-shots and series, or make a request!

[iwritethat]

Wally West: One

A/N: This was a detour from what I was doing. Oops.

Warnings: None

>>>>——————————>

"M'gann?"

"Yes."

"The cute alien chic?" You thought of the girl, clarifying it was indeed the correct one.

"Yes."

"And you're sure this one is the one because you said that 3 girls ago."

"Yes... I mean no, I don’t know - look can you please help me (Y/n)." Wally playfully pleaded with you like he’d done on multiple occaisions prior to this and you could only shrug in defeat.

"Sure but my conditions remain the same."

"I know, no bragging, pizza on me, you pick the film for the next 3 weeks."

"And?" You mockingly coaxed, knowing how much the next particular demand pained him which was evident in his deadpan but reluctant tone.

"And no mocking your dates."

"Good."

.

The following day you’d stategically accompanied Kid Flash on a visit to Mount Justice, the sight of you two together was no surprise to Robin, Aqualad nor Speedy though the remainder were intrigued by the mysterious stranger so Wally proudly made introductions.

"Hey M'gann, Conner, this is (Y/n)."

"Ah, this is who you love so much to talk about!" The Martian beamed grasping your hands as you shot a glare to a flustered Wally, the guy sheepishly running a hand through his strands.

"Is this your... girlfriend?" Superboy casually inquired after thinking of the correct terminology, yet again leaving you to wonder what your friend has been saying about you in your absence - also considering the implication this’d have on your scheme.

"No! Definitely not! I'm totally single, just because I've told you about (Y/n) doesn't mean we're dating. We're not dating by the way." Wally briskly recovered, blush fading as he emphasised his point specifically for the sake of M'gann.

"Nice to meet you both. Ah Kaldur!" You lit up once seeing the Atlantean, immediately embracing his form just as he did to you in hopes of catching up with him.

"It's been a while (Y/n), you look well."

"(Y/n) is here? Looking as lovely as ever, surprised you're still hanging with Wally though, you're way out of his league." Robin proudly joked as he walked toward you, genuinely happy to see you again and a girl called Artemis agreed with him despite only recently learning your name - supposedly teasing Wally was a commodity amount the Team.

"I'm here for training, Canary said she'd activated the sparring platform so I wanted to test it." With a content shrug you set your plan in motion, gesturing over to the designated area as indication.

Now you were very well trained, the team knew that so it wasn't a surprise when every single member landed with a 'FAIL' until Wally challenged your winning streak. You went two rounds, the first you played to his strengths allowing him to take you down with his speed and received the only 'PASS' of the day. M'gann cheered, flying over with questions and compliments whilst you comfortably sat up and proudly watched Wally bask in the desired attention. Meanwhile got to your feet, brushing yourself only to be met with a smirking Robin beside your figure.

"I know what you're doing and you are good at it, but I don't think it's gonna work."

"Does it ever work with Wally? He's never met a girl he's really caught deep feelings for but I'm only in it for the free food he's promised me." Came your knowing reply, softly smirking at Robin who seemed to disagree but accepted your justification nonetheless.

"There is one y'know..."

"Hey (Y/n) ready to get your ass whooped by the best there is? Fastest kid alive babe." The speedster smugly gained your deadly gaze, his boasting violating the agreement you’d struck less than 24 hours ago and thus not giving you a chance for Robin to elaborate like you’d wished.

This time you would not allow him a victory, like the others you took him out with a mischievous smile and then crouched over his waist whilst he leaned up on his elbows to meet you.

"No. Bragging." You raised a brow, tilting his chin towards you as you punctuated each word as a reminder before heading out. Although your plan had still succeeded to a degree, you walked backwards finding the Martian kneeling down to your friend inquiring about his condition as you winked at him - Wally seemingly impressed with your antics, as he usually was whenever he roped you into these scenarios.

.

You retained your attentive skills, even talking him up to M'gann but it became painfully obvious that her romantic affections were reserved for a certain clone which left you disappointed albeit pleased for her. Now, you had to break the news to Wally - you'd considered such measures while sitting against the wall in one of the Mountains many hallways bouncing a ball off of the other side as a form of contemplation.

Soon enough your felt a familiar comforting presence beside you, catching the ball and initiating a harmless game between the two of you.

"What's on your mind?" Wally knew you incredibly well, narrowing down I even the smallest quirks and he'd use that to his advantage.

"Nothing, but I'm afraid you might have to give up on M'gann."

"I know. Supes right?" He didn't seemed phased by your sympathetic disclosure, which surprised you slightly due to how long he’d spent gushing over the girl.

"Yeah, sorry West."

"It's alright. Thanks for trying, I'll still get you that pizza."

"But I didn't...?" His response was unexpected, leaving you somewhat speechless but he soon continued with conversation before you could finish, no evidence of heartbreak to be seen.

"That Dan guy you went out with? (Y/n) c'mon you're stunning, and he didn't even offer to pay the full check at the coffee shop. You deserve so much better, his flirting game was awful too." Wally reminisced on the details you’d cruelly given knowing he wouldn’t able to comment due to you deal, although such a thing was now void and you’d regretted that decision. Yet part of you enjoyed his mocking support.

"So I get the pizza but have to suffer your judgements for not getting you a date? I'm sure you have something to say about Jackson too." You threw your head back with an exaggerated sigh, Wally laughing as he replied.

"Don't get me started..."

.

How unaffected Wally seemed about the let down still puzzled you, although you believed something else must've attained his focus - not that you had any indication of what it was as you sat flicking through the channels.

"So... there's another girl." There it is.

"Dude, are you kidding me? Give yourself a month at least."

"No this one is the one, I know it." His tone was oddly confident compared to his usual dilemmas regarding that topic which automatically gained your full attention.

"Uh Huh. And when did you meet her? Love at first sight or whatever?"

"I've known her longer than a few days give me some credit here. But it wasn't at first sight, I didn't even notice it was happening or rather happened..." Wally's point was certainly more realistic in comparison and he was being truthful - again, maybe this peculiar circumstance held promise.

"You know my terms an-" You simply shrugged, assuming he wanted your assistance once more which dulled your growing investment slightly.

"No, not for this one."

"Hot damn, this woman must be special. Tell me everything!" That decision shocked you and it was evident in your tone, you excitedly encouraged him to indulge your lowkey interrogation since he never turned down your assistance.

"Yes she definitely is, but I don't know what to do for her y'know?"

"Romantic restaurant? Roses? Tell her over a romantic dinner." You listed things instantly, barely stopping for a breather.

"Would you want all that though?" Wally considered your ideas, furrowing his brows before he asked his question even if his posture radiated nervousness despite the confident facade he’d attempted to convey.

"Hah, no way! Honestly I'd love a chill night in, order a take out, put on a good series and just enjoy each other's company. I mean roses are nice too but I want to know my date likes me enough to relax and be themselves - you can't really do that in a fancy restaurant. Anyway, you should probably find out what this girl likes first." You simply smiled, giving him an honest opinion and advice for you felt he'd finally found someone more than just a crush to him.

"I guess..."

It was silent for a moment until familiar words echoed in your mind 'There is one y'know...' and instantly you stood up with your realisation.

"I know who it is!"

"What?! How?!" Wally snapped to with concern evident in his expression like a deer in headlights, unbeknownst to you why that was but he too halted in his tracks.

"Dick told me, I don't believe it Wally - it's great!" Now you had Artemis in your head, they'd hated one another at first so it certainly made sense that he'd grown to like her. They'd also kissed at New Years Eve or so you'd heard.

"Robin told you I liked you?! Are you kidding? He only knows because I thought he had a crush on you." That answer caught you off guard, practically disintegrating your ability to form a coherent sentence or even think straight due to the abruptness of it.

"Wait me? I didn't, um, I can't, since when? All the times I've been helping you with girls I... I..."

"Wait you didn't know? Okay stay there, I'm doing this again!" Wally held his hands out in defence, soon disappearing leaving you standing alone with your thoughts. A dangerous thing really.

Did you even have feelings for him? Quite possibly, that would explain why you occasionally compared dates to him and why you were always so willing to help him find his happiness but surely you wouldn't have suppressed them? It was so confusing.

Within a minute he appeared before you, a single red rose in hand and sheepish smile.

"I'm late I know that but there's no pressure for you. This is not how I expected you to find out, I aimed to flirt with you and only you before making a move so it wasn't thrown on you so suddenly but here we are. Guess I'm not great with girls without you."

With a mischievous grin, you pulled him close by his red hoodie and gently met his lips with your own and you couldn't deny how right it felt - an action you’d hope would quell the warring emotions. You pulled apart, his arms wrapped around your waist and yours on his shoulders.

"You're actually quite adequate, I'm just as surprised as you are."

"Oh you're hilarious." He matched your witty sarcasm, but still you find his happiness intoxicating.

"Can we, um could we take things slow? I know that's ironic to ask the fastest kid alive but please."

"I'd slow down for you, I want to take my time in every moment I get so it won't be a problem (Y/n). I promise." Despite the trace of concern in your voice, Wally was reassuring and sincere with his words so you both felt comfortable in whatever situation you'd crafted.

"So, I assume you won't be mocking my dates anymore."

"I think every date you'll have from now on is gonna be too great for me judge. Ah too bad, I know how much you loved me doing that." The speedster playfully responded with a knowingly satisfied smirk to which you threw him an 'are you serious?' expression.

Later, as you both sat comfortably on Wallys' bed eating pizza whilst a film played in the background, you received simultaneous texts from none other than Dick Grayson - his smugness translated even in a message.

[Dickiebird: Told you so.]

[crystu-cii]

OF COURSE!!!! I'd say you're hella close to it!!! Definitely closer than I am XDD 💖💞💝💕💝❤️💕💕❤️ A G R EED /hj XDD

Yeah ;w; oohh that sounds super interesting!! I can understand not pursuing a story tho, stories are d i f f icult-- XD fun, but difficult, and you need an attention span for them! (Why do you think I only write one page stories??)

OMS yessss that's so accurate tho-- like I haven't changed much if I'm being honest (I spend a LOT of time inside.. XD) awww-- I can understand that- in japan we didn't have a backyard, so I stopped going outside much at all-- occasionally I biked to convenience stores or walked to vending machines, that was cool, but no backyard :/ having no backyard sUCks, like where am I supposed to scream into the void?? INSIDE?? /j

OMS-- CRYS XDD what a Mood™ tho- "oh I'm gonna continue this thing!!" *does something else entirely*

XDD It was done Against My Will™ (get Against My Will on the album I Haven't Awoken Well Rested Since I Was A Child by the band The Bags Under My Eyes Aren't Makeup! XD) MOOD-- I spent the quarantine summer doing nothing but staying up until the sun rose and sleeping until it was at its peak- where did the time goooo

I AGREE HOW DARE HE- LIKE EXCUSE?? YOU TINY HEATHEN??? anyways now I'm trying to go back to squirting him with a squirt bottle to startle him(even tho he's a fan of water, the harsh spray startles him) but anyways thank you crysss I'm never getting a cat in my life now bc of this rude child (dogs are superior anyways /hj)

(and now time to reply to the OTHER ask cause I'm efficient and not going to send two separate asks to respond to things that can be responded to at the same time.. ....why did I even ramble about that wtf henry(huh I never refer to myself by name that felt weird))

Okay!! No worries dude, you can always take your time with replies, I just don't trust tumblr XD 💞❤️💕💝💝💖💕❤️💖 of course!!! Thank you!!! 💖💕💕💖💞💕

Oooh!!! That sounds super fun!!! Man I miss hanging out with my friends-- but my closest friend(lives in my neighborhood) has a parent who works in other people's houses, so high risk, and the rest live several hours away :)) but anyways yeah that sounds hella!!!! I love that y'all were just like "okay well. we're gonna hang out anyways." XDD

Aww-- I'm glad you are!! My brother and his bf were supposed to come but I think we have to postpone that cause someone in his workplace tested positive for covid :( YESS FOODDDD-- oooh cheesecake?? I've never heard of having it on Thanksgiving!! Usually we have pumpkin, cherry, apple, and pecan pies!! (We're having pumpkin and cherry ones this yeah!! Two pumpkin pies, a cherry pie, and a cherry cobbler--) I... Have never heard of pineapple pie in my life! Sounds like it would make pineapple-on-pizza haters burst into tears tho--

YOURE WHAT-- CRYS YOU HEATHEN IT IS NOVEMBER!!!!! /j I can't stand Christmas music, being a choir student made me not be a huge fan of it-- too much Christmas music.. ugh. (Straight no chaser is tolerable at least. And Pentatonix. And covers by artists I like. But if I have to hear Jingle Bells ONE MORE TIME--) YESSS BESTOW UPON ME THOU'S PRESENCE AND PRESENTS... Ooh nice!! Pfft XDD Yess- I have multiple on my wishlist-- mostly for the switch-- OMS I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T ASK FOR THSC-- MAYBE IM THE HEATHEN--

Okay, it's January 5th! Literally not even two weeks after Christmas-- Feel free to scream happy birthday at me :3 XDD now I'm curious, what's yours?

awhhh thank you ;w;; 💕💞💕💞💞💕💞

and legiT- and omg- also what i do a lot is thinking i have a story all in control but then i realise that i only focused on the main parts and nOT the transitions and all that shit and then i end up last minute thinking them- XDD and ngl one page stories sound SOO much better- imo- not just for writing- but for reading as well- whenever i go to see a fanfic I always read the ones that has one chapter- dunno how to fully explain it- possibly cause its satisfying to see a story actually have its end other than a long lasting series that will never end- XDD oneshots are my FUEL

buT WoW omg this topic has now made me realise how i barely go outside- XDD i wish there would be other thingd around my neighborhood other than a "park" that has DEAD GRASS and the sprinklers go off like every hour for some reason- duNNo what the builders were thinking but i guess i dont mind- i stay in my house a whOLELE lot xD

and YESS IT GETS ME EVERYTIME- "hey lets draw-" *-WRITES-* XDD AND ABHAHAHAHA (NOW ON YOUR LOCAL MUSIC STORES- XDDDD) and omG MEEE- the times i would usually sleep would be around 3 am to 6 am- ironically my mom has a more screwed up schedule than i do- and SHE STILL HAS- last night she told me that she hasnt slept in 48 HOURSSS- MaMAAA PLEASE SLEEP

GO AWAY CAT HEATHEN- XD and omG a squirt bottle of water yes XDD and awh i definitely understand now how youll not get a cat- sounds like a hecka pain ;0;; i never even had a pet before (or not that i would recall- oh wait i think i had fish but i have an embarrassing story that made my mom ban fish from the household- OH MAN the shame)

and yeahh oh man- i hope you are okay with all these topics XDD and thank you!! 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞

awwhh i see- i wish you can hang out with your friends without it being too risky! that reminds me of that one time where my friend said "hey so uh you guys can hang out at my house since at my parent's workplace someone was positive for covid" and then immeadiately after they were like "SO WE NEED TO GO TO ONE OF YOUR GUYS' HOUSE" and Im LIKE- UH- NOO??? nOt AfTEr you just say THAT- nuh uh- thankfully we didnt hang out that day- better safe than sorry xD

and omggg those pies sound AWWESOMEEEE- i always wanted to try pumpkin pie before but when i asked my mom that she was like "nO iTS diSGusTing" and im like "*visible confusion*" and lOwKEY SAME- pineapple pie just sounds a bit off but my mom was really hyped to make it xD i'd actually say its not that bad! but im still not a fan of pineapple so uhhh xD (aNd YEAH IT DOES feel like it would make those haters cry-- XDD)

and PFHAOHFA IM A LIVING HEATHEN- XDD omg at this time of year- it gets CRAZYY for me- first off- Tree is a true filipino- right when it was the first day october- youd hear them say "FUCK HALLOWEEN"(and id just whine to them like "BUT HALLOWENENENEN") and then their family set up a whole christmas tree and over-the-top decorations- and omg- if you hate christmas music- you would despise the philippines sO MUCH- when the FIRST day of SEPTEMBER hits- CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON ALLLLL THE STORES- it will drive you WILDDD ( yeah its actually a normal filipino thing- not that i ever went to the philippines myself at tHAT time of year- but my friends and family tell me all about it- filipinos are the true christmas maniacs XDDD)

and awhhh choir must be a pain ;0;;; that would remind me how on one concert- the beginners class of choir screamed on purpose even though they werent supposed to- the teacher got so pissed XDDD and YESSS PRESENTSSSS- and awh man- i actually dont own ANY consoles at all- so the only things i can ask for is steam games- last year for christmas i got just shapes and beats- which was WORTHHH

and oo YAY- now i shall mark that on my calander- XD and mine is february 7!

[motleyfuckingcruee]

Rocket Queen

1.4: Christmas Eve PT 2

Duff's P.O.V

I look at the beautiful girl that's sitting on my lap. She has a bottle of vodka in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. I honestly, had no idea she smoked. Good to know I don't need to hide my cancer sticks around her.

She smiles at something Madeline says, then replies back to her. I can't even tell that any words are coming out of their mouths. I'm so focused on Henley. She's the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on.

And to think, I wouldn't have met her if I hadn't made Stevie sit at that table. I'd seen Henley around before, but I was too chicken to go say hi. Just the thought made my chest feel like it was going to collapse.

I knew that the only way I'd have the guts to talk to her was if I'd stole their table. I know it's a real stupid reasoning, but it was the only thing I could come up with. Steven offered to go talk to her for me multiple times but a.) we're not in high school and b.) he'd probably just say something really embarrassing and scare her off.

I honestly thought he scared her off when he went to talk to them. I'll admit, I felt like fainting when she finally looked at me. I couldn't believe that a gorgeous girl like her was going to talk to me. At first, she seemed distant and cold. That immediately changed after the fight between me and that "Hyde" guy.

I don't like that guy. Henley said that he's been hanging around her and Madeline a lot recently. I don't like it one bit. She said that the only reason Madeline is okay with it is because he gives them free weed.

I wish I could be around her to protect her at all hours of the day. But, the fact that she's still in high school puts a huge dent in that plan. God, I sound like a wuss, but I can't help it.

I think I'm falling in love with her. I can't ever imagine being with someone else.

Well there's only one thing wrong with that statement. We aren't a couple. I haven't had the balls to ask her out.

That's going to change tonight, I can guarantee that.

The box feels as if it's growing heavy in my pocket. Almost like it's made of lead. I feel my heart race with anticipation. I want to give it to her so badly!

"DUFF!" Steven screams at me, almost making me push Henley off my lap in shock.

She instantly wraps her arms around my neck tightly, pulling her body flush against mine. I wrap my arms around her waist and chuckle nervously.

"Sorry," I mutter, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. I turn my head to Steven who has a smartass smile on his face. "What?"

"I was just saying, I think it's time to give out the gifts," Steven replies, his eyes glancing down to my pocket.

I knew I shouldn't have told him my plan. He's going to give it away!

"Wait," Henley says, her eyes widening. "I didn't know we were doing gifts! I left y'all's at home!"

"It's okay, sweetheart," I say in her ear, only loud enough for her to hear.

"No it's not," She pouts, turning her head to look at me. "I was just going to bring it over tomorrow."

"You can still bring it over tomorrow," I chuckle, placing a small kiss on her neck. "I don't think we have anything planned for tomorrow." I take a moment to think through my words. "Well, I'm not going anywhere. I think Steven was going to meet Madeline's parents."

"What?" Henley asks, clearly shocked. "I didn't know they were that serious."

I shrug, looking over at the couple that's in the same position Henley and I are in. "I didn't either, but the more I look at them, the more I can see that they're wild about each other."

"I have a feeling her parents and Jake aren't going to like that he's eighteen," Henley says, furrowing her eyebrows in that cute way she does when she's thinking.

"I'm sure they'll love him. It's hard not to love Stevie," I say. "He's one easy guy to get along with."

Henley smiles. "You guys are definitely best friends."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You just. . .I don't know. It just reminds me of my best friends back in LA."

I gasp, feigning shock. "You had friends?" Henley looks at me, unamused. She punches my shoulder rather hard, making me laugh. "I'm sorry!" I laugh. She doesn't say anything. She just sits there with an adorable pout on her face. "Tell me about your best friends."

She looks back at me with surprise. I guess no one's ever asked her that. "Well, they were actually brother and sister."

"Like Madeline and Jake?" I ask.

She nods. "Only they weren't twins. He was two years older than us. Anyways, they're the first friends I made in LA. I was constantly over at their house. I practically lived there. I was heartbroken when he turned eighteen and moved out. I didn't get to see him as much. . ," She trails off. "And I kinda had a crush on him." My heart drops. Does she still like him? "But I still hung out with his sister all the time. I thought it was the end of the world when I left Los Angeles. She calls me at least five times every few days and he calls every week on Saturday."

"Sounds like you really love them," I say, sounding a bit put out.

She nods. "I do, but I really love Madeline too." She pauses, looking at Steven trying to play the drums. We haven't even opened the alcohol yet. He's just like that sober. "And I guess Steven too."

I smile, nudging her a little. That's difficult because she's sitting in my lap. "What about me?"

She smirks. "Oh, I don't love you."

My mouth drops open. I pretend to be really hurt and fall back onto the couch. "You've hurt me deeply, Henley!"

She laughs, cupping my face in her hands. "I'm kidding." She leans in and quickly pecks my lips. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. Now's the time.

I stand up with her in my arms. She squeals in surprise, but doesn't protest. She just wraps her arms around my neck to keep her from falling.

I take Henley to my room. I place her down on the mattress on the floor. I watch her eyes look around my room, until they land on me. She smiles sheepishly, running her hand over the fabric of the blanket I have thrown on my bed.

"So, what are we doing in here?" She asks.

I pull out the box without saying a word. I hand it to her with a smile on my face. "Merry Christmas."

She opens it, an excited look in her eyes. Her smile widens as she sees what's inside. There's two necklaces. One's a padlock necklace, the other has a key on it.

"Duff," She says. Her voice makes it sound like she's about to cry. She stands up and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her as close to me as possible. "Thank you," She breathes into my ear.

Henley pulls away, taking the padlock necklace out of the box. She unclasps it and puts it around my neck. When she fastens it, she puts her own necklace around her neck.

I grin at her. "There's one more thing, only it's a question."

"Which is?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I feel like my heart is about to burst out of my chest.

"Yes!" She squeals, jumping into my arms.

I laugh, pulling away from our odd hug. I pull her face in and kiss her as deeply as I know how.

God, I'm definitely in love with her.

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Duff: @daisystuffsstuff

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

I clasped my mouth shut as soon as I said it.

That's not very nice of you to say, Y/N.

He widened his eyes in surprise to my comment for a brief second, then laughed softly a laugh that was one of the many things I loved about him.

"Should I have been Tae, then?" He said, scrunching up his nose as if in deep thought, but he actually looked like a baby. I smiled sheepishly, given the awkwardness of the situation, and the fact that he looked so cute while asking it didn't help at all in easing me.

"Does it help that I'm only 2 months older?" He smiled naughtily, which made me laugh.

"No..actually yes. I mean I didn't mean no as in no it doesn't help, I meant no as in it-"

"Y/N relax, deep breaths." He said in a relaxing, soothing voice. The voice of an angel. "Are you okay, or do I need to call an ambulance?" He pouted. No, but keep looking like that and maybe you will.

I rolled my eyes before shaking my head. "Did you have something to say, or are you just here for the medical assistance, which is not needed by the way?"

"Hey, what do you take me for? A paramedic?"

"No, Jimin. You are a healer." A smile crossed my face as I said this.

"Hm?" The answer caught him off guard.

"ARMY can explain better." I smiled.

"Are you not one of them?"

"Are you not going to tell me why you came?"

He sighed. "I came to just hang out. By the way, here's the gift I promised for those cookies," he landed a bone-breaking punch on my back. Ow. "And I'll be going now, since I am not Tae." He turned back.

"Wait," I held his arm, causing him to turn back and look into my eyes. We stood there for a moment, staring at one another.

"At least take your return gift with you," I said and twisted his arm towards his back.

"Aii, aii, aii, okay, okay, that's en-OOUGH!!!" He shrieked. I laughed and left his hand.

"Aigo...that hurt." He said, rubbing his arm. "You just look small, don't you?"

I shrugged.

"Anyways..I gotta go." He said, glancing at me with a fond look, or at least I thought it was a fond look.

"Why are you leaving?"

"Because you don't want me here." He looked down.

"Are you still hung up on what I said to you a few minutes ago?" I whined. "That's not what I meant!!"

"Well, Y/N, if you really want me here, then why am I still standing on your doorstep?" He raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side.

"Uh, because.." I looked up, and then sideways, and then backwards. "Because....you...wanted to.....take me to....take me out?" Real smooth, Y/N.

He giggled in the Jimin-way. "You're an amusing creature."

I cleared my throat nervously. "I meant why don't we go out- um, no, that's not right- I mean, why don't we hang out, outside?" I mentally rejoiced at at least finally getting out the right words, and shortly after I mentally facepalmed myself.

"Yeah, actually, I did want to hang out, outside." He said, mocking me. "If you're free, that is."

"Sure, I have 2 hours until-" I stopped myself. "-the sun sets, I mean."

He rolled his eyes. "You need to go to our happy place, stat." With that he dragged me out of the house.

By our happy place, he meant the ice cream shop. It was also the place where Jungkook introduced me to them for the first time. Jimin on the first glance had left the biggest impression on me, and he was also the first one to become my friend among all of them. We became close so fast that even Jungkook complained I had replaced his best friend position with Jimin. While I couldn't deny that there was a special connection between me and Jimin, I wasn't going to replace my elementary school friend that quickly. The reason was simple....if you find a friend that wins a competition, but doesn't celebrate because you didn't win...you can never let that friend go.

"Chocolate?"

"Yes, Kook. What?" I said before realising what I had said. We were in the shop, and Jimin was asking me about the flavour. "I mean no, butterscotch today." I said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

Jimin frowned, but didn't say anything.

"You are with me, but your mind is with Jungkook...pray, do you have a crush on him, perhaps?" He said, leaning towards me with his hands intertwined, after he had placed the ice creams in front of us.

Don't even get me started on how much I wish this word didn't exist. "What, no!" I was mentally groaning. "Are you crazy?"

"No? Okay, I was just asking." He said, sitting down in front of me.

"He's my best friend, Jimin." I said, shrugging. "I could never look at him that way."

"Why?"

"Because I love him too much to lose him like that." I smiled, tucking the strand of hair back behind my ear. "The relationship we have, is so much more than anything else in the world."

"That is true." He said, nodding slowly. "You two have a special bond."

"Yes, and until you find someone you have a special bond like that with, this topic is further out of discussion." I said, looking down at my phone which dinged with multiple notifications: the crazy group was back at it again.

"I think I already found someone," he said slowly, looking down at his ice cream. When he saw I hadn't replied, he straightened up. "I think soulmates have a special bond too, right?"

"Soulmates?" I said, not looking up from my phone.

"Yeah...you know, the people who are born for each other. Do you believe in soulmates, Y/N?" He looked at me with twinkling eyes which soon narrowed down into slits, "You know, it's pretty rude to chat on your phone when you are talking to someone."

"Hm? Oh." I put my phone down, smiling nervously. "Sorry...these weirdos, you have no idea." I smiled, trying to tuck the strand of hair back which was on my face yet again.

"Here, let me." He leaned across the table to gently tuck the strand behind my ear. I shivered at his touch, a gentle one on my face. I closed my eyes for a brief second, letting myself feel his gaze on me as he said softly, "Y/N, you do know that I live with them, right?" I could feel his hot breath on my face as he said the words, and I scoffed weakly, not having the strength to feel anything because of the proximity.

"Just because you can ignore the continuous dinging of your phone, it doesn't make you any more of a human."

Sitting back in his seat, he chuckled. "That, or you could turn the notifications off."

"Oh." I said, feeling embarrassed. "That...could be done, yeah. But I didn't, for some reason."

"You know what, it's okay, you couldn't have thought of such a sophisticated thing to do anyway." He said, glancing sideways at me, smiling.

"Oh really..you wanna go down that path? Fine. Is that a smirk I see on your face?" I said, glaring at him while trying to suppress a smile.

His smile vanished quickly. "Don't go there."

"Oh I just did." I whispered mockingly.

"It's not my fault I can't smirk, okay?"

"Someone tried to teach you, you know." I almost sang it out.

"Yes, and I have seen the video myself so I won't be doing that again anytime soon." He put his hands up in surrender. "Now can we talk about something else, please?"

"Sure," I said, a playful smile on my lips. "Who did you have a special bond with?"

He widened his eyes. "I thought you didn't- you know what," he sighed. "Something else."

"Excuse me, Park Jimin. No, actually, since you are Jimin, maybe I need to say excuse me in your style." I mock-rolled my sleeves up. "EXCU-"

"SOMETHING ELSE!!!" He pleaded, looking towards the ceiling, his eyes closed.

"You are so stubborn." I groaned.

"Hm, you're one to talk, Miss 'Why-don't-we-go-out-I-mean-why-don't-we-hang-out-outside'."

"Um...why don't we talk about something else please?" I grinned nervously.

"Now we're talking." He said with an evil smile.

After getting out of the ice cream shop, which we only left when Jimin had ensured I was in my happy place, we had nowhere in particular to go, so we wandered around the streets, occasionally stopping by the shops to take a look inside. He stopped by a teddy bear shop to take pictures; he insisted that he looked as cute as them, which I didn't deny to. At one place, a coffee shop to be exact, he asked me to pose for a picture too but I refused, and then he insisted. I finally got out of it by giving him a pic with my face covered in it, which was the best option so he didn't deny it.

"Wow, look at this earring." I said, looking at a black-and-white earring inside a jewellery shop.

He glanced once in their direction. "You want me to look at earrings?"

I looked back at him. "But they are sooo beautiful!" I said, pointing towards the large cross-shaped earrings.

"Yes, yes, okay, they are pretty." He rolled his eyes. "What do I have to do with them?"

I crossed my arms. "Yeah...because you have never worn those before."

"I don't wear them all the time, you know. Now come on," he grabbed my hand. "I see a park."

"What are we going to do in a park?"

"We walk in a park. Between the trees, the flowers, you know....greenery and stuff." He said sarcastically.

"Yeah, but we are walking here too."

"Yeah, but we can walk there too."

"What's the diff- oof!" He cut me off by dragging me towards the park. "You talk too much for a small girl."

"Hey, stop saying that. And stop doing this!"

By the time he walked me back to my home, it was already dark. The stars had come out, and with Jimin, I felt like I was in the music video of-

"Serendipity."

"Whut?" I mumbled, looking at Jimin, caught off guard by what he had just said.

"That's what it feels like." He smiled, a warm smile, reaching his eyes, making his face twinkle brighter than thousands of stars on the horizon.

"You mean the sky?" I cocked my head to the side nonchalantly.

He looked down. "No. I mean with you. Here."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, I mean," he said, looking up. "Actually, I-"

He stopped when he saw me looking at something else. Or rather someone. And he was surprised as well.

"Taehyung, what do you think you are doing?"

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.3

Part 2//Part 3//Part 4

SERIES MASTERLIST So Y/N had a lovely day. Jungkook...hmm...something smells fishy, I don't know what though. And what do you think Taehyung is doing? Well, I don't know anything, we'll see, won't we? ;)

Next part coming up on 21st November at 17:30 GMT. Stay blessed, and happy reading!

[justcallmemav]

7/20/18

--------------------------

Pt.20

--------------------------

“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”

(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)

“You trust people too easy, girl.”

( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )

“You put yourself in this situation.”

( I didn't ask for it.)

“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”

(I loved him for five years.)

▪▪   ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.

---

▪▪   ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.

---

▪▪   ·I could use a call right now.

---

▪▪  ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.

--------------------------------------------------

▪  You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.

---------

▪   I think this is it.

--------------------------------------------------

▪▪▪  Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.

--------------------------------------------------

      You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.

      I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.

     Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.

This is it.

I have nothing left.

     My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.

     It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.

                  This was the last time.

It didn't work before.

           It has to work now.

                          So I begged, and I cried.

I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.

Please take me now.

        I want to come home.

                      I think I'm ready now.

JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.

      I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.

      I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…

                      Boom

                         So bitter.

                        Yet so good.

Was this the only way i could be happy again?

I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.

I've heard the rumors.

Does it seem as free as they say?

            Then along came the thump.

                       ALAS~

Nothingness.

Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.

Thump.. Thump….. Thump….

After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.

               Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.

I struggle to come to consciousness.

                 I find it nearly impossible.

Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.

                A voice so faint and familiar.

After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.

My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.

“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”

I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.

       I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.

Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?

I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.

“Is my dad okay?”

Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?

·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.

·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.

·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.

I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.

He asked me three things.

“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”

“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”

My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.

I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend,  I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.

I saw my father crying and shaking.

 I saw his girlfriend crying.

    I saw my father's coworker crying.

          I was embarrassed.

Yet, too weak to care.

I muttered to the medic under my breath;

“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”

I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.

          I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.

“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”

“Do I have to take off my ring?”

“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”

Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.

All consciousness was lost.

How could I harm anyone with a ring?

She should have been patient, anyways.

~Don't rush me.~

       You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.

       You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.

        I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.

I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.

          Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.

    Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.

ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me.  You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.

         Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on)  Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.

         I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.

         Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.

        You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.

       It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.

--------------------------------------------------

Am I going home?

Are they moving me again?

What did I do wrong?

--------------------------------------------------

  ~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~

    She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.

It's obvious what I chose.

It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.

You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.

Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.

If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.

“I lost you once I can't lose you again”

You won't have to.

[theday]

I CAN'T REPLY BC I'M ON DESKTOP AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REPLY ON DESKTOP (is that even an option??) but i agree!!! what are you thoughts, feel free to Discuss i will defend you from Bad

so the discussion here will be on people who dig stuff up from the past to use to shit on other people if that makes sense?? ill just be sharing my opinion and probably what caused me to share in the first place,,

first of all if anyone other than falen reads this id like to say that im all for discussing opinions so if you have one that differs from mine please do share as well! and if you think my opinion is wrong/incorrect let me know too!! id love to hear what others think honestly

next!! onto the actual topic of bringing up the past,, i understand that if whatever was done is relevant and if they havent apologised then it’d make sense to include it when “calling out” to add to the sources of whatever behaviour but if the person (whos being targeted) has shown visible remorse/changes/understanding then i feel like there’s no need to bring it up again? there’s also the thing where people don’t check the dates of sources so if let’s say a tweet was brought up and it was from 2015 people don’t bother to check and immediately assume that whatever said is true in present times 

in the event that whoever’s opinion hasn’t changed and they’re still quite clearly bad then bringing up the past is fine since, it helps to indicate how theyve been consistently racist, homophobic, etc. whatever the topic is then thats alright of course

however, in my opinion id rather if shit from the past wasnt brought up if the person has apologized for it,, i know it still doesnt change the fact that they used to be like such but at least theyve learnt from their mistake so theres no need to call them out for that?? if what youre calling them out for is e.g. racism then use something thats from the present and something thats accurate ensure that what youre using cannot be taken out of context. its always better to check multiple sources and see what others say first before jumping to conclusions - unless the cold hard truth is stated there then yeah. theyre problematic and are doing shit things. 

idk if this is a relevant example but you know. im sure because of the way we’re brought up, we were all homop/hobic at one point of our lives (usually when we were younger) thats because of how in media all we see are het relationships,, because everyone we know is in a straight relationship and being gay was “not normal” thats what everyone thought. its what i thought. if you dug shit up from me from the past youd probably be able to see me making fun of people who’re gay and yeah i admit i was probably against the idea of dating someone of the same gender because of the way everyone would put it 

but thats because of the environment i was put in, as soon as i started using tumblr it was evident that being gay was not wrong and that it was okay to be bisexual, asexual, whatever it is! so idk what i want to say i went off tangent its just that its better to fact check before anything else because,, throwing false information wont do anyone good. 

despite saying this i know that itll hurt seeing your faves do something you dont stan for,, and even if they have apologized for it itll really suck to see such behaviour coming from someone you love - feelings of anger/sadness are normal in such cases as long as you know that what theyre doing is wrong and want to educate them,, people who blindly defend their faves arent helping anyone especially not themselves,, thats what i think anyway!! 

i know its hard to accept when your fave does something wrong but i chose to see the good, and even if its been a few months, i wont forgive my fave for doing whatever wrong thing theyve done and thats fine! you dont have to force yourself to unstan because theyve done something problematic!! likewise, you dont have to force yourself to keep stanning because if they make you feel worse than happy then theres no point sticking around!! do whatever you think is best for yourself. 

[z3i3ra]

Abu: she is. She is going to Iraq. Who does that?

Me: someone who really cares about you

Abu: oh someone that is going to save me from myself?!

Idk that i was ever askedto go as an adult before. I said it was time when Obama brought van loads to my actual fucking house. I still don't know,what the fuck he thought. I haven't fully processed the memories. But I was all, i think this is enough people for an army to fight back now let's go.

And he was all uhhh we aren't going back to Iraq we just got here

And me and Abu were all uh hello, yes because now it's time to start the war. Every One got energized to go home so now,we give them,weapons and,say kill or stay. And,let's go back home to our families!

Like literally that went back through my head twice.

But really I said I had to go get my daughter (who was home) and I was freaked the fuck out cause i had amnesia and so I was gonna go around to the back door and try to get back inside through the back door by getting my daughter to open it, as i had locked the front door on purpose.

I never told anyone, i think, that but it was quite a sight all those vans and all these military and some President Obama look alike.

My first instinct was to lock my door and close it. Having only a phone it was easy to text or call her.

But instead the President Obama was all uh no what you mean you locked your keys,in the door?

And he told me to,text her and i was all ok so i text "help me please, unlock the front door it's been all a mistake"

But i didn't send it. In my mind i was all text is like write. He said text but not send

I was on challenge to this dude "Hello i am the American President, is Sabrina home"

Uhh. No the President shoukd know 2 people live here and what we look like before he just shows up knocking. Nope noooope nope. I am not home. "Yes, how" door lock activated and first step outside the door "may i help you?" Door slams shut.

I mean he knew i hadn't sent it. Some dude with a laptop was right there and all. It was a literal on my porch war with the fucking President, in my mind, who was getting to,my daughter first.

"This is the stand off. Mr President, sir!!"

"Would you look at her, ready to attack me"

"Look here, her twin brother predicted it. She doesn't know you and You just arrived on her porch like a God send but she is looking at you like a wolf who has stolen her babies and instead to steal more"

If a war can be spoken with facial expressions, I won.

"Okay what else do i need to know"

"The name of the game is who can get in the house first. Ready set go!"

"Dont send the text message. What ever you do. I got everything under control here" dude had no clue, he was the enemy.

I already hit send as soon as,he said Go like,those Chinese crazy,games you gotta go through obstacle courses... Yeah I was already winning. I'm all getting cheers just at the very end, could i make it???

My breath is a fucking war. Obama is belting out commands but all i can hear is my own breathing but all i needed was the tiny rattle of the lock of the door knob.

I heard the dead bolt lock me out "SHIT!" Then it unlocked "OH MY GOD, YES!!" "Now one more please baby come on"

Obama turned to the laptop guy to see whst the Hell i was on about because Matt had said that was our only tool and brain and i was staring at my screen praying. "Idk sir, all I heard--"

"CHEATA!!" I flew past Obama and stood in front of the door that my daughter not only unlocked but also turned the knob to crack it open so i just had to push it all the way.

I covered the doorway by spreading my arms out "MINE"

"Its locked anyway" obama turned away, the boys heifted out the air conditioner at the same time. I spun all ballerina and shut the door and locked it, bent over at the window and said "hiiii" the military dude peeking in, fell into my house onto the floor cause i had him straight fucked up.

"Could you put the air conditioner back in please?"

The bewildered Military dude, secret service was all "if you tell me how you did that"

"Mothers instinct, maybe"

"Well, I'll put it back in anyway"

"But could you do it from the outside? I want to see if you could. Thank you"

He obliged and i locked myself in the house. Until they called Matt and asked how to get me out to talk. He said "call her cell phone"

So they did and i saw Obama out the window. "Stand on one leg" i said while unlocking the door as silent as possible (I randomly practice) "like a flamingo"

"Is this how a flamingo stands? His head turned away from my house, so i slipped out and held the door knob behind me,not all the way closed but it looked like it.. But I could push it back in and escape.

Secret service turned around in shock "how did she...."

I won. When you surprise secret service at least 2x in less than 10 minutes... You win. Especially when everyone on the porch's jaw drops open.

"5 out of 5. I guess i won this place. Yall can close your mouths now"

Obama does not like to lose. I think especially to a girl.

"Oh you'll get used to it. Watxh the video"

So they watched the video and all and the most shocked secret service had figured out how i knew when to go in but said it wss all shocking the same. The other one doing the heavy lifting hadn't noticed anything.

And Obama was so mad

"And yes Obama that was the flamingo"

"Alright, I'm done here, let's go. We will talk to the coty and see if they can stay here and we will get something sanctioned. Come on Abu, lets get you to a hotel"

"Uhm, really?!!? But no i want to know why first or i let them out the van and the first one that dies is you" replied an ecstatic Abu.

"I know I'm not about to die I tell you what" I muttered under my breath "and there's just two of us here and one is a kid"

"No, i want to know we will be free and you will not send us back to Iraq. Then, i will go with you"

"Oh Abu that paperwork is already being processed"

I still didn't know whst was going on but this dude all up on the President with a heavy accent all 'bitch i aint doing shit, yo' i was all dam that was way sexier than I ever expected to see on the porch of my house.

My face was on a new war, winning this young stud. I don't know who could tell but i think he could.

The observant secret service said for me not to continue to drool but I was all okay I'll stare dreamily. Total sexual harassment out my face. And Abu was not going to resist apprehension. And his pants were becoming to small at the waist.

So all these secret services and the President all just sat there and watched the young stud gain a boner and i heard the front door open.

I threw the white flag, my kid didn't need to see that. Oh but Abu was not done with the war, being at the far end of the porch, furthest away from me, he threw jealousy down.

Now Today 10 and half years later he doesnt bother to open any door to his house for me.

Anyways. So Jeremiah had agreed the year before that if i could outwit the secret service somehow in under 25 minutes then every one could be set free. But it had ti be the secret service and it had to be 21-24 minutes for everyone in Iraq and for everyone in the vans. At 25 minutes, no one. And under 21 minutes anyone already set free including the vans.

1400 had already been released on escaping terms and 5000 remained in the cells.

I had to beat amnesia to get the rest out. At least 3 pregnancies and finding my mom at her location.

So I did it.

All those greedy selfish people i had to yell at at the NHRA. I had to. I worked every single day. Every single day to repair my brain 99% on my own. It had to be 85% not including legal drugs.

Even the Queen agreed but stated she must be dead before any press releases could be stated about her involvement. And i had to pick her successor.

So yay!!! I did it under 12 years.

But also I wish I could done it sooner.

I fought every single day.

Every single day. My mind wss on my mind.

No matter what it took. I always felt that. It was the most important thing in the world. An urgency that took over my entire being.

God gave me great pain so i was unable,to leave my bed so i could focus and break all barriers and do it even without his help.

I even became suicidal, homicidal, crazy feeling, all sorts of horrible things

Yet I cannot compare it to the intensity of being kidnapped and broken. Tortured nearly constantly. And having to work for a slave labor.

In words it seems the same. But in my still somewhat broken mind i dont see it that way.

Because what I did was break free. And i see these people in shackles. Giving up as i did multiple times. But bot just giving up for a day or week while still looking and,grasping. But i see people who lost hope.

How coils they not? I know i would, just keep my head down and work, stay out of trouble and try the best i can to keep shelter over my head and food in my belly and have,the faith that that would work to,keep,me,alive another day.

Again, in words, it sounds almost the same. But i had a job I picked,a house I picked, my own child, a car.

I had freedom. I had freedom to stop, i had freedom to quit. I could do anything in the world I wanted. And no one could stop me, beat me, or anything.

I had full control over my life and it's contents. Over what i ate or didn't n wheere i got it from.

So,while on paper it sounds as though our struggles are the same, the struggles of the human trafficking victims and their families do not compare; theirs are much greater.

Doing what i did on my own the way i have. It has brought extreme advancement to the medical community.

But when I look at the sea of faces, my heart and mind connect and tell me, it is not over. My eyes tell me, what you have suffered, they will, too.

And I know i can't take that pain they will have in the future away. It hurts my heart to know what I've gone through, mentally, in my life and know they Likley will as well.

But I just hope and pray that we are different enough, the human trafficking victims and I that they will have the happiness I have sought for myself and my own daughter.

And when i do, i see people hugging, i see people holding each other through some of the toughest best times of their lives. I see people together.

And i know, im likely an over protective mother, seeing all these people as her babies with all the last instructions about not forgetting to turn off the stove, or turning the pot handles in so you don't accidentally hit it and waste your food if you dont have a dog or a small child dumping boiling water on their heads.

Its not like sending them to college... Its like sending them home.

Homes that .... I've lived in nearly 40 houses. And None were the same. Except the constant battles and abuse from relatives that weren't mine.

That is why i am so thankful to London for sparing DNA kits that have been administered to all victims and will be administered to families all over the world. ASAP

Abu for hiding away Money and buying things for celebrations.

The governments for really listening, finally and helping all these families.

I know this is the first stage and so much more needs to be done. But as I put my head down to work, I know it will. Get done.

Because I've worked too hard,for too long for it to stop now.

Abu reminds me how i had a fear od public speaking. How i refused to fight. Others tell me how I was mute for years.

I came from nothing. And we're not throwing these victims out a plane without a parachute.

I've always known everyday my work wasn't just for me. It went beyond me. Beyond any thing i could see.

Know i know why

So twin matt splice this up into this,mornings email and then snoopy add this song.

VA contact my dad. He still,needs to pack. I probably have to repack my kid for warm weather clothes.

We got shit to do. What yall sitting looking at me for?

Add nickleback far,away and photograph. Doug has,these practiced so snoop sings along and alter some slight phases like the demand to stop breathing.

Wanted you to say to "stay" Steph also knows the words.

Photograph add in "when I get home" between the lines like how we do Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Batman wheels and all that. ... Will the school throw me out? No.

So,Snoop pick you want the songs or the add ins., I wanna push you to meet the tone of the songs original way to sing it So that it's US understanding the victims pain.

Then the victims reassure us woth the add ins that every thing will be okay.

So ALL the victims ...

"Criminal records broke 2x" a haha from the band then a repeated haha from the crowd so a repeated chord from Doug or jist a pause. His choice.

Should I try to go back and graduate "we ARE Free to CHOOSE"

"Wouldn't let me back in" go online!

......

Abu, Matthew. Hondo. Gherie, you already know. But some of you all need to understand "Far Away" from nickleback.

It was written for you.

Many songs were thanks to my great influence in the 90s on the music industry.

Thank you