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eurydicees · 4 years ago

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top 10 ouran manga-only arcs

this is going to be such a long post i apologize in advance. the ranking system has absolutely no criteria other than "does this pass my vibe check.” bonus points were awarded if i could think about tamakyo while reading it; points were also awarded every time tamaki did something cool. this was a delight to make. anyways, without further ado, here are my personal top ten favorites, and no i will not be taking criticism.

1. THE TAMAKI EXTRAVAGANZA

(vol 16 chp 73 - vol 18 chp 80)

PLOT:

So much happens here that I couldn’t think of an actual name, and uh does it count as a single arc? Probably not, but I’m counting it as one because it has a single thread: Tamaki. My beloved. So. First, Tamaki finally, finally, finally moves into Suoh mansion #1, but when he gets there, he gets told that he’s only allowed to study the Suoh business and go to school and nothing else— meaning he has to quit the host club. Shizue threatens to out Haruhi as a girl and ruin her reputation— possibly losing her the scholarship— if Tamaki doesn’t break off all ties with her.

The Host Club disbands. Kyoya begins an Investigation™ into Tamaki’s mother— she had been incredibly weak and unhealthy when Tamaki was a child, but when Kyoya met her, she was pretty healthy. After some sleuthing, the hosts minus Tamaki discover that she probably had Bisco Hatori’s fictional version of lupus, which was cured by a mysterious foundation— which they discover was run by the Grantaine family, funded by the Suoh corporation, and actually researched by the Ootori conglomerate. Literally everyone is in on it. It’s fucking wild. Like. Huge “holy fucking shit I need to stop and take a breath” moment.

This information is suddenly released to the public, and then the Suoh corporation all vote Shizue out of her position, saying that she’s no longer fit for the job. She locks herself in her room and refuses to speak to anyone, breaking Tamaki’s heart. But now that she’s no longer top dog, Anne-Sophie can come to Japan— Yuzuru is super hyped and expects Tamaki to be as well, not understanding that Tamaki’s family fantasy includes his grandmother. Tamaki stops going to school and plays piano every day in order to cheer up the house, eventually luring Shizue out to listen to him play their shared favorite songs from J-dramas.

They begin to bond and Shizue sees that he’s not a failure because of his parentage, but it’s too late because Anne-Sophie is about to fly back to France. All is hopeless.

EXCEPT THEN. All of the hosts and all of the clients realize what’s happening and rush to help him get to his mother. They all adore him so much, and give their all into getting Tamaki to the airport. Shizue finally encourages him to go, realizing— with the help of Haruhi— that she has been bitter and selfish and Tamaki deserves better. They rush to the airport, and through a series of shenanigans that are no match for the combined power of the hosts and every single girl at Ouran, Tamaki makes it to the airport. They make it there JUST in time, and Tamaki gets a five minute reunion with his mother. Haruhi finally confesses to Tamaki that she loves him.

WHY I LOVE IT:

oh my God oh my God oh my GOD. Like. This is just. So much. So Much. We all know that I’m like. The #1 Fan of Tamaki Suoh. Like. President, vice president, treasurer, and secretary of the fan club, all at once. I love him so much, and this just gives him so much development. There is so much opportunity for him to grow and you not only really see who he is as a character, but you also see how much he’s grown as a person from his first introduction. You also get more of a glimpse into the world of Rich People, and the way that all of their families interact with each other, and then also with the way that they interact within their families. It’s just such an intense arc and it’s so beautiful and I love it so much.

2. THE SPORTS COMPETITION

(vol 10 chp 46 - vol 11 chp 49)

PLOT:

This one is HARD to rank, because I love it, but it also Hurts. Like. I genuinely cried over this one, though that’s not actually saying much because I cry at everything. So. Here’s what’s up. Tamaki gets into this idea of a sports festival, and then Kuze wanders in to fight Kyoya again, so Tamaki suggests a competition between the two of them. This is a very Tamaki thing to do, but Kyoya gets fed up with it and refuses to participate— until Kuze accuses him of being “Suoh’s pet” and that he’ll always let Tamaki win, and then Kyoya gets fired the fuck up.

But he’s still bitter at Tamaki for starting this, so the two of them stop talking and my heart breaks. This does not stop Tamaki from having heart eyes for Kyoya 24/7. Hikaru and Kaoru are assigned to competing teams, and begin their Very Long Journey into not being so codependent— Hikaru is on the red team with Tamaki, Haruhi, and Kuze; Kaoru is on the white team with Kyoya and Honey.

Essentially, each team goes through rounds of races in different areas that are like. Complete bullshit games, but whatever. It’s Rich People World. The white team gets ahead; the red team performs a scene from a Shakespeare show to rally their losing team together and begins to win, until they’re on even footing. The final race is between Kyoya and Tamaki.

There’s a heartbreaking series of panels of Tamaki just… thinking about Kyoya. I cannot get enough of it. Then there’s an even more heartbreaking series of panels of Kyoya just… thinking about Tamaki. You realize, alongside the other hosts, that Tamaki pushed for this race not really for benefit or fun, but to give Kyoya a chance to compete in something for real, without having to set it up so that Tamaki wins (as we see in the race for the central salon). It’s a chance for him to win and not put his family first. Tamaki still tried his best, because Kyoya would hate him if he threw the race, but he lost because Kyoya fought with the intention of winning for HIMSELF, and not just playing support to Tamaki or impressing his father.

Finally, in the last panel, it’s revealed that the class trip will be to France.

WHY I LOVE IT:

God it burns so good. So Good. The Tamakyo, the Hikaru & Kaoru character growth, the Kyoya development, the Tamaki being so so so good, the Kyoya being so brilliant, everything oh my lord. This is really one of the biggest points of Kyoya’s character development, and it’s the first place I’m going to point to when thinking accurately about who he is as a person. It shows who he is, and who he believes he is, and who he wants to be, and who other people see him as. It’s also just a Tamakyo goldmine, even though they don’t ever actually talk. It’s so beautiful and it makes me cry.

3. THE ORIENTEERING RACE

(vol 14 chp 66 - vol 15 chp 68)

PLOT:

In an attempt to make Tamaki realize that the hosts all love him just as much as he loves them, the hosts sans Tamaki put together an orienteering race. There are six checkpoints, each one with a task to be completed in order to get an ingredient that will make the best meal at the end of the race.

Hikaru and Kaoru play the return of the “Which one is Hikaru?” game, knowing that Tamaki has been able to tell them apart for a while by now; Nekozawa’s checkpoint is a quiz on cursed items, knowing that Tamaki is familiar with Beelzenef; Honey’s checkpoint is a game of whack-a-mole with little mini Usa-chans, knowing that Tamaki isn’t afraid of making him upset over a game, though all the girls are; Mori’s is a sword slicing thing to show that Tamaki will never give up on something; Haruhi’s is a “tell the truth or never pass” kind of thing; and Kyoya’s is a crossword puzzle of all the answers made up of things from previous club themes.

Tamaki pairs up with Konoya— who is in love with him and is the “perfect Haruhi” trope— and realizes that she’s incredibly different from Haruhi, and that he loves Haruhi for who she is and not who he thought he wanted her to be. He also realizes that— because the hosts have gone through all of this for him— they do love him for who he is, no matter what, no matter the bad parts of his personality, and they’re never leaving him.

WHY I LOVE IT:

Look. We know that anything about Tamaki is gonna make me happy. I am a simple woman and so easy to please. This is literally just three chapters about how much all of the hosts love Tamaki and want him to be happy. I cannot express in words how rewarding it is to watch Tamaki realize how important he is and how much he’s loved— because he is loved, he’s so loved, he’s so so so loved. This is also the arc with the building block / building a home metaphor, and it destroyed me both physically and emotionally (vol 14 chp 66). This is where the found family is really solidified, and we all love a good dosage of found family.

4. RACE FOR THE CENTRAL SALON / THE SCHOOL FAIR

(vol 6 chp 22 - vol 6 chp 26)

PLOT:

This is where the anime diverges from the manga, and I have to say that this version of the school fair is just so much better than the anime version. Like. Just So Much Better. Basically, the club is setting up for the school fair, and the best spot to set up— essentially, the spot that will get the most foot traffic form the parents— is in the central salon. To figure out which club is going to get the spot, they all compete in a literal race, both mind games and physical games and it just slaps overall.

The b-plot is that the Host Club is getting threatening letters telling them to drop out of the race, alongside blank papers that are sent with the notes; the hosts have to figure out who is sending the notes and confront it. This is the arc that introduces both Kuze and Yuzuru Suoh for the first time. Kuze is captain of the football team and Kyoya’s rival and also definitely his secret ex-boyfriend. Chairman Suoh is… just. A lot. Just. That’s it. A Lot. He’s A Lot.

Anyways, part of the winning race is capturing this crown that’s hidden on campus, which turns out to be at a swimming pool. The football team gets there at the same time as Haruhi, and Kuze pushes her into the pool and goes for the crown. Kyoya and Tamaki reach her at the same time— Tamaki’s instinct is to go for Haruhi, but Kyoya tells him to get the crown and thus the glory of winning, while Kyoya rescues Haruhi.

Later, it turns out that Yuzuru was sending the blank papers with harmless messages written in invisible ink as a prank to emphasize the literal hate mail that the hosts were getting. The follow up to the race is the actual school fair, where we meet Yoshio and Shizue. Fuck Shizue, not even going to get into that right now because I WILL cry, but just know that it’s even worse than it is in the anime. Yoshio, though, is eons better in the manga than in the anime— he is genuinely proud of Kyoya and says that he actually wouldn’t mind appointing Kyoya as heir.

WHY I LOVE IT:

Volume 6 does SO MUCH for Kyoya and Tamaki and we all know that I’m ride or die for the two of them. Kyoya finally gets a chance to shine as team leader and it’s what he deserves! Tamaki takes a little more of a backseat, which I don’t even mind, because Kyoya does such a good job of pulling attention here. The scene at the swimming pool is just so good— it really shows the huge amount of trust between Tamaki and Kyoya, and does a good job of setting up the relationship they need to have as Rich People, outside of their friendship, which is something that we don’t see a lot of. Overall, it’s a very Kyoya-centric arc, and it does amazing things for the development of his character and personality. It’s one of the biggest insights into how he functions as a kind of mastermind for the club. We also finally get Tamaki’s full-ish backstory, which genuinely makes me cry every time.

5. THE HITACHIIN FAMILY

(vol 10 chp 45 / vol 11 chp 51 - vol 12 chp 53)

PLOT:

So this is technically two plot lines, but I’m going to count it as one because it’s all about the twins, my loves. In vol 10 chp 45, we get a little insight into the life of the Hitachiin family and why the twins are as fucked up as they are. Quick rundown— their parents can tell them apart but pretend not to for whatever godforsaken reason; Kaoru admits he’s in love with Haruhi for the first time and Hikaru remains oblivious; Kaoru begins to realize how unhealthy he and Hikaru’s relationship is and how, one day, they aren’t going to be able to have all of the same things; there’s a cookie metaphor; Tamaki gets lost in the Hitachiin manion; it’s all a good time.

In volumes 11 and 12, we begin the actual split between the twins, where they realize that they can’t stay the way that they are forever. They can’t be one person forever. They realize this in a fight over Haruhi, where Hikaru suggests they “share” her as a sister, and Kaoru rightfully thinks this is bullshit. They get in their first— and only— genuinely real argument. Hikaru breaks down in Mori’s house, Kaoru breaks down at Honey’s place, literally no one is happy and I am crying.

Kaoru asks Haruhi out on a date, and then ends the date by explaining that he could never date her knowing that it would be hurting Hikaru. Haruhi is, understandably, very confused by this whole thing, and no one is telling her anything.

Kaoru then makes up with Hikaru, saying that he’ll give up on trying to pursue Haruhi, but tells him that they actually do need to live separate lives at some point— and that point might as well be now. He wants to break apart entirely, but Hikaru explains that while they need to break apart in a lot of ways and find their own identities, they can never fully forget each other. They agree that they can influence and love each other without depending on each other for a personality.

They keep up the incest ACT at the club, though. Bisco Hatori couldn’t manage to write her way out of that one.

WHY I LOVE IT:

So this one just. Really hits home for me. It’s a genuinely heart wrenching arc, and the progression of the whole thing was just so slow and so steady and it was so well done. The twins are two of my favorite characters in the show/manga, and their relationship is something that I can analyze for days, and this arc is a huge part of why it’s so interesting. It does amazing things for both of them as developing characters, but it does even more amazing things for their character growth as people. It also provides a nice catalyst for the Hikaru/Tamaki/Haruhi love triangle. Anyways, it made me cry and apparently that’s my only criteria.

6. THE FRANCE ARC

(vol 10 chp 46 - vol 12 chp 56)

PLOT:

On the Ouran 2nd year school trip to France, Kyoya decides he’s going to spend the trip searching for Tamaki’s mother, rather than spending it with the other students. He works himself to death trying to find her— he ends up literally falling asleep on the ground because he’s so exhausted from searching and taking literally no breaks. Kyoya finds her eventually, and has a really nice conversation with her— she has a bunch of photos of Tamaki, and clearly is constantly thinking about him. When he gets back to Japan, he tells Tamaki about her— about how beautiful she is, about how she smiles, about how she thinks of her son every day.

We get more of Tamaki’s backstory, and his close relationship from his mother and how his mantra— living life in Japan to the fullest and being as happy as he can be every day— all comes from his mother. She told him that she’s happiest when he’s smiling, and so when he leaves her behind in France, he decides to be smiling every day and make everyone around him smile as well.

While Kyoya is in France, Tamaki stays behind in Japan— he gets closer to his father, who offers to begin to train him to take over the Suoh business. He visits Haruhi, and tells her a little bit about his life in France, and Haruhi’s love for Tamaki begins to make an appearance for the first time.

WHY I LOVE IT:

So I went into this list thinking that this would be my favorite plot, so it’s wild to me that it didn’t even make the top five. It’s kind of weird and I didn’t expect it, but I’m still satisfied with this list. Anyways, I really love this one, even if it’s not the top five. It’s like. The ultimate Tamakyo story, and there’s just. There’s just so much to unpack there. Like. We don’t have time for me to go through the whole thing and analyze every part of it because there’s just so much of it. It’s so good, and it makes my heart grow three sizes. It’s another brilliant development piece for Kyoya, and shows his softer side, as well as just how much he loves Tamaki.

7. MORI AND HONEY GRADUATE

(vol 15 chp 71 - vol 16 chp 72)

PLOT:

Honey and Mori announce that, after graduation, they’ll be splitting up and going to different universities. This proceeds to emotionally destroy literally everyone except for them. Mori is challenged to a series of duels at the Kendo club in which he has to fight every underclassman who wants the honor of fighting him before he graduates. He’s exhausted and worn down, and he loses to a second year, which is bad for like. Honor reasons. RIP. Anyways. He reveals that he’s just been really worried about something but before he can tell anyone, he has to duel Honey. It hurts.

They start preparing for the fight— which Kyoya is capitalizing off of via movie rights and betting rings— and scare everyone that they’re going to never speak again. When the fight comes, they fight on the Windswept Hill™ at Ouran (the same place that Chika and Honey fight on way back when). They go for it and pull no punches, until Honey tries to do a flying kick and Mori catches him and gently places him outside of the boundaries of the fighting ring, thus winning the duel.

Because he won, he pulls out a sheet of paper in which he’s written down all of the things that Honey needs to do in university because Mori isn’t going to be there to take care of him: brush his teeth, cut down the cake by 90%, and stop bringing Usa-chan to classes. Mori felt that he didn’t have the right to tell him these things until they were on equal level because he had won the duel.

They make up and everything is okay— they graduate, everyone cries, including me. Kasanoda gives Mori flowers, it’s all very cute. Haruhi makes cookies, and when Tamaki goes running down the hallway to find her, they bump into each other and drop all of the cookies. While they’re picking them up, they share the classic ~accidental kiss~.

WHY I LOVE IT:

This is one of the only Honey & Mori-centric plotlines that gets fully fleshed out and like. More than a chapter. It really does lovely things for their relationship, and it’s the end of an era. Even though it’s the end of an era, though, the resolution is incredibly satisfying— Honey and Mori’s stories are wrapping up, but it’s really well done. It’s sad, but it’s a really rewarding ending. They’re such sweet boys. Also, it’s not like they’re gone forever, so it’s all okay.

8. REIKO x HONEY

(vol 10 chp 41)

PLOT:

Reiko is part of the Black Magic Club, and falls in love with Honey when he gives her a hand in getting up after she trips over Usa-chan. However, she believes that falling in love with Honey is equivalent to him “stealing her soul,” and so she uses “curses” to steal his soul back. These curses are basically just love spells.

In the end, Honey tells her to just, like, be herself. Talk about her interests. Get to know him. Be honest. Then she won’t need love spells to make him like her. Even if she messes up or is awkward or says something weird, he’ll still like her because she’s being true to herself. This is one of the only Honey-centric chapters, and Reiko is one of my favorite side characters.

WHY I LOVE IT:

They’re the OG goth x pastel couple. The blueprint for all other couples. Icons. I love them so much. This makes it on the list just because I love their relationships. I also love the whole Moral Of The Story, in that it’s important to be true to yourself. It’s so sweet it hurts.

9. HARUHI AND TAMAKI’S FIRST DATE

(vol 18 chp 81 - vol 18 chp 82)

PLOT:

So. Right after the two of them confess their love to each other, everyone expects them to get together and be a couple right away, but Haruhi is just kinda chilling. She’s not super stressed about dating, it’s just a relief to have said it out loud. Meanwhile, Tamaki is kind of a mess, stressing out over their first date and trying to make it as perfect as he possibly can. Seeing him so stressed, all of the hosts band together to help him out in planning a date. When Tamaki finally gets up the nerve to ask her out, he falls in the fountain and Haruhi has to fish him out. She’s then the one to ask him out to the amusement park.

In true Tamaki fashion, he gets incredibly stressed out again. He gets fashion advice from a series of unfashionable people. The hosts sneak around the amusement park and follow them around, finding out that it’s actually going really well, as long as they’re not interfering. After the Lobelia girls show up and try to sabotage the date, Tamaki and Haruhi run away— while Kyoya Handles™ the situation— and they go to her mother’s grave. There, it’s revealed that Haruhi will be going on an exchange program to America.

WHY I LOVE IT:

It’s just. So cute. Like. I’m Tamakyo for life, but I do adore them so much. It’s lower on the list because of the sheer amount of second hand embarrassment, but overall, I loved reading this one. Tamaki is just so genuine and earnest about everything he does, and I think these chapters do a lot to show why the two of them work as a couple. It also does lovely characterization points for Haruhi, and begins to wrap up the ending. Bonus points for a jealous and heartbroken Kyoya.

10. PRINCESS MICHELLE

(vol 9 chp 38 - vol 9 chp 39)

PLOT:

Princess Michelle comes to Ouran to do a week of school in Japan. After meeting her, Tamaki essentially puts him and the Host Club at her beck and call, doing anything that he can to make her happy, no matter how insanely extravagant her demands are. Everyone else finds this infuriating, until Kyoya points out that Michelle looks similar to Tamaki’s mother, saying that the last time Tamaki saw his mother, she was crying— and if he sees Michelle smile for real, it might help him picture his mother smiling again.

Overall, it’s just a very soft arc that begins to unfold Tamaki’s family-related trauma. It also kickstarts Tamaki’s realization that he’s in love with Haruhi and doesn’t actually have paternal feelings for her (that’s the whole next chapter, but make it funny rather than introspective); and it’s one of the moments that Haruhi realizes that Tamaki is genuinely just a good person.

WHY I LOVE IT:

I wasn’t sure that this one would make the list at all, but I do really love this story. It’s pretty short, just two chapters, but it’s overall really sweet. I like Michelle as a character a lot— she seems a bit like a bitch at the beginning, but she gets fleshed out and given an actual personality as the chapter goes on. It’s a really good example of Bisco Hatori’s writing.

HONORARY MENTIONS:

Mei (character): probably the most significant character in the manga that doesn’t appear at all in the anime, which is pretty tragic, but I think that the anime really wanted to emphasize that Haruhi doesn’t really have any female friends / friends outside of the hosts. But anyways, she’s Misuzu’s daughter and Haruhi’s friend; she’s lowkey transphobic but she’s getting better! Had a brief crush on Tamaki but she ends with being the #1 Tamaharu stan. Great friend to Haruhi.

The masquerade ball: Haruhi's going away party, and the reveal that she's a girl.

Haruhi gets kidnapped: Haruhi is kidnapped and held for ransom, the hosts find her and break down doors to get there.

#ohshc #ouran manga #ouran koukou host club #ouran high school host club #ouran liveblog #ouran #ouran high school host club manga #please rb this i worked SO HARD on it #also please add your opinions #there are a few different lists that are valid. and many that are not.#i will vibe check your lists if you post them

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hasishtardoneanythingwrong · 3 years ago

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Descend [Pt 4]

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Your soundtrack for the inevitable conflict can be found here.

"...You're saying I have to kill them? Oh, that’s fucking great. 'Hey Val, go kill your girlfriends or you're stuck in some stranger's prison world for the rest of your life', that's just fucking amazing."

"i mean, you probably aren't wrong, but in case you haven't noticed yet, this place is a bit bullshit when it comes to dying. i've lost track of how many times i have died by now, and you are pretty alive for somebody who is dead in the other room. maybe it won't turn out so bad?"

Val let out a deep sigh.

"...Yeah, that’s a good point I guess. Still, do you have any ideas on how to make that happen before we head out?"

Guilt covered John’s features, clearly unhappy with what he was about to say.

"...about that. it won’t really be us heading out so much as it will be you. i can get you where you are going, but i can’t really stick around to help out."

Really? Fucking really? You do realize that they're legendary heroes, right? Stronger than me by a few orders of magnitude? Walking people of mass destruction? And you want me to take them on alone?"

"...so a friend who is a lot smarter than i am once told me that the universe likes to set things up for better character growth or heroes journeying or something stupid like that. they called it ‘narrative causality’. personally i prefer to call it ‘dumb horse shit’, but that doesn’t make it any less accurate. this is pretty clearly your story. i am just your very cool fan favorite mentor figure, like mufasa. if i help you out too much, odds are good that i die a tragic and permanent death to get you angry or sad or something, and then i’m stuck being a douchey talking face watermarked on the sky. if that happens then nobody is around to keep the big green asshole from breaking out, and everybody is very boned forever. sorry, but its all up to you."

Then, as if everything was fine, he broke into a wide grin.

"anyway, you have your sweet new god powers, you just gotta believe in yourself! i'm sure you'll figure something out, it’ll be fine!"

Val buried her face in her hands with a groan, trying to ward off the headache she could feel beginning to build up.

"...do you need a minute? yeah, you need a minute. actually, you're probably hungry, right? you could probably use a snack, i’m gonna go make you a hot pocket or something. be back in a minute!"

---

It turned out that she really did need to eat something. Still, a Hot Pocket only took so long to eat, and Val didn’t want to stick around for much longer than she needed to. Delaying the inevitable was only going to make it harder to do what she had to do. John tapped her on the should, and with a flash the home was gone. In its place, she found herself on a lightly forested hill, the ground white with a thin layer of snow.

Not knowing where to go, Val picked a direction and began walking, frost crunching beneath her feet. Wandering aimlessly wasn’t the best plan, but by the way things sounded, she was probably going to run into someone sooner or later. If she was lucky, she might even be able to get the drop on whoever she found.

"Hey! Val, over here!"

...And of course they would find her first. Musashi jogged up from behind, waving cheerfully. Everything about her seemed normal, but given how quick she was on the draw, Val couldn’t expect that to mean much. Her hands clenched into fists, and she cursed herself for not finding some kind of weapon to defend herself with. She might not have been able to match Musashi’s skill, but she wanted anything she could to level the playing field.

"Looking good, where'd the new outfit come from? And what's up with your eyes?"

Val blinked at that. For someone who had just been a part of killing her, Musashi was being way too friendly. Still, maybe if she kept her talking, Val could find some kind of opening, or figure out what was going on, or something. And...what was that last bit?

"My eyes? What're you talking about?"

"I guess you wouldn't be able to see that, would you. Here, check it out, it actually looks pretty cool!"

In a single, smooth motion, Musashi drew one of her swords and tossed it towards Val, grip first. Val caught it with more ease than she expected, and after a suspicious moment's hesitation looked at her reflection in the mirror sheen of the blade. Sure enough, her irises a warm gold instead of their normal blue.

Huh.

"Hell if I know what happened. It's probably a side effect of getting killed though."

Musashi scratched the back of her head sheepishly, an embarrassed smile crossing her face. Despite herself, Val couldn't help but laugh fondly to herself.

"Oh, right! Sorry about that... I still have to do that, don't I? Dang, I was hoping we could stop and make some lunch, but I guess this is happening, isn’t it?"

Fuck.

Musashi drew her blades and stepped closer, stopping a few feet away. Val tightened her grip. For an instant, Val could swear she saw something like veins of black ink, writhing across Musashi's body. Val wasn't sure what it was or what it meant, but it had to mean something. It had to.

"...So are we sticking to the usual? Loser's buying?"

The mental whiplash left Val blinking in surprise. Musashi preferred a hands-on method of teaching, mostly in the form of sparring. Once Val had started to pick up on the basics, Musashi had posed a bet for the last match of the day: whoever lost had to buy lunch for the winner. Despite not once winning, Val was always willing to take that bet, just for the fun of it. If Musashi was offering that bet now...

Val nodded her agreement, allowing herself the hope that this was a good sign.

For just a moment, the two were still, as if waiting for a signal to begin. Musashi made the first strike, a clean but telegraphed blow that Val was able to parry and counter with relative ease. It was dodged without trouble, however, as was the follow-up.

This was far from Musashi's best, closer to how they would warm up than an actual fight. If that was how she was going to do things, Val would gladly take advantage. She pressed the offensive, driving the servant back with quick, aggressive strikes that never quite managed to hit their mark.

"Oh, nice form! You're definitely improving, but what about this?"

With a grin, Musashi rolled backwards, smoothly scooping up a handful of snow and tossing it at Val. The cloud of frost was just enough to hide Musashi's attack as she dove forward. Val could only see the twin-bladed strike for an instant, but managed to duck beneath them with a speed she didn't know she had. Popping up, Val pistoned an elbow in Musashi's stomach, sending the servant reeling to the ground.

And wasn’t that a rush. Val wasn't used to being able to hold her own against Servants, and landing a clean hit left her a bit giddy. Just for a moment, there was only the joy of the fight. Then, Musashi pushed herself upright, her mouth turned up in a fierce grin.

"That was a good one! Guess I have to start taking things a bit more seriously now!"

…Fuck.

There was hardly time for Val to blink before Musashi was on the attack, driving her back with a flurry of strikes. She could tell that these were the same movements as before, knew that she should be able to defend herself, but everything flowed together so fluidly that by the time Val moved to block, another attack was already on its way.

As she was pushed back, Val's heel caught on a root, and the moment of unbalance was all Musashi needed. Twin pommel strikes crashed down in a hammer blow, sending Val sprawling to the ground and knocking her sword just out of reach.

"Darn, and just when things were getting good! You really did step things up, you know? I'm actually really impressed! Still, I hate to say it, but I've gotta do this. Sorry, I'll make it quick."

The pained smile that Musashi wore was enough to prove her sincerity. Even so, Val could clearly see those same ink-black tendrils again. They twisted and writhed their way around the samurai, moving with her as she took her stance as if she could only do so because they allowed it to happen.

Musashi closed her eyes and sheathed her swords, emotion giving way to a state of empty calm. If she hadn't been on the other side of what was coming so often, Val might have mistaken this for an opening.

"Namu, Tenman Daijizai Tenjin!"

Val knew she couldn't escape. She knew that there was no blocking, no counter attack she could perform even if she still had a sword in her hands./p>

"Come hither, my roaring sword, now unsheathed!"

Musashi drew a single sword as energy gathered to her. Val couldn't move from her spot, the pressure crushing her into the snow. This was her ending.

"Ishana..."

---

For a moment, time seemed to stop. Musashi stood frozen, too still for too long. Then, she collapsed to her knees with a scream of pain, swords falling to the ground as she grabbed her head. The tension dissipated like the moments after a storm, and Val scrambled to Musashi's side against her better judgment. With strained breaths, Musashi looked up to her master. No words were needed to understand her silent plea.

Save yourself. Kill me.

Tears formed in the corners of Val's eyes. Her face twisted in rage at the world that made this her reality. She hated that she had to do this. There was supposed to be an out, a catch, some third option. But there were no tricks, no clever plans, just the reality in front of her. She reached down, taking Musashi's sword in a white knuckled grip even as the servant reached for it herself. Even as she raised the sword over her head, her mind was screaming at herself that there had to be another way, that there had to be something she could do, that this wasn’t all there was.

---

"it's all about belief"

---

In the moment Val swung, the sword seemed to grow hotter. Not the blaze of a fire so much as a growing warmth. Like a hot bowl of soup on a cold autumn day. Like a sunbeam through the window after the passing of a storm. Like the smile of a lover after too long apart. The blade made contact, passed through, and lodged itself in the snow.

---

Val opened her eyes, fearing what she would see. The sword was wreathed in a motes of golden light. Musashi was dissolving into that same light, the wound in her chest seeming to spread out across her body. It was as if she were being unsummoned in slow motion, cracks of gold pressing back the darkness and consuming her. And though all was silent, Val could swear she heard Musashi's voice in her head, laughter in her voice as she announced that she was buying lunch today.

Musashi disappeared, and Val collapsed to her knees.

---

A/N: So I'm pretty sure that this isn't gonna get covered in-story, but it isn't technically spoilers i think, so if you're curious what happened. First, this isn't the first time Musashi has had some brain stuff go on from remembering stuff she's not supposed to. Second, the more seriously Musashi fights (and especially when she uses her NP), the closer she approaches to Zero. And if you've ever played D&D, you know how that goes.

#mastersona time #even more loredumping because it felt a bit better here than dragging on the last chapter #hopefully that's the last of the weird inexplicable lore that's semi-based on a franchise you haven't read

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thegeekyzoologist · 4 years ago

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My opinion on Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (SPOILERS)

Like many people interested in the Jurassic franchise, I binge-watched that show back in september and here are my thoughts. First of all, I precise that I had no expectations for the series as the combo Jurassic World + kid show didn’t attracted me at all, and the trailers have done nothing but confirm my fears.

Let’s start by the positive: - Amidst the cringefest that the first episodes were, the scenes with Darius back home stand out from the rest by their quality as they are centred more on drama and character development and not on clumsy comedy like the scenes on Nublar. The idea of getting an access to Jurassic World and Camp Cretaceous as a reward for beating that virtual reality game reminded me the recruitment of Eli Wallace by the SGC at the very beginning of Stargate Universe. - Starting from the beginning of the season’s second half, the series gets better and a little more mature in its unfolding and writing, up to the point where it doesn’t seem targeted for young children but rather young teens. Some dumb scenes remain however (like the one of the geneticist Eddie, abandoned in the lab with the sole company of his birthday cake). - There is a few action and suspenseful scenes that aren’t bad in the second half with, among other things, a hide-and-seek game with the Indominus amidst the containers, a part in the tunnels that can remind some people of Telltale’s game, a monorail attack by the pteranodons which should have deserved a live-action treatment, and a climax in a storage area where the protagonists have to use their wits in order to defeat the carnotaur and escape from the underground network. On the matter of the carnotaur, one can note a nice paleontological reference with its difficulty to turn when it is chasing prey. - Of all of the characters, Roxie is the most realistic, responsible and reasonable one (and the only tolerable one in the first episodes). And let’s bring now the negative aspects: - On the matter of the original soundtrack, I don’t remember any of the original themes sadly. As I had the same problem when I viewed The Witcher though (I didn’t liked its first season but I rather well appreciated its soundtrack following a separated listening), I will wait for the release of the soundtrack before criticizing it further. - The first episodes are a total farce with a succession of all kinds of nonsenses with the bunch of stereotypical buffoons that the kids are that are involved in stupid acts by the night of their first day, acts that fall under Reversed Darwinism (the survival of the most idiotic like Grant would say in Jurassic Park 3) and that gave me the desire to give some slaps and send those Kennys to a firing squad (for the crimes of property destruction and, above all, endangering dinosaurs and employees); the infringements during the activities of hygiene and security rules that are applied in many theme parks and laboratories around the world (with the kids wandering around in the lab and touching to everything in a total dissidence; running down a zipline and brushing past brachiosaurs...); the counsellor Dave which talks to Wu like if he was an old pal of his while Wu is one of the highest corporate executive around and someone famous and respected in-universe; Wu being depicted with the subtlety of a fat beer-drunk sea lion (with his mannerisms and attitude worthy of a James Bond villain, we know right away that he is bad); cartoony action scenes (I mean bloody hell. Look at that Parasaurolophus that jumps off the jeep’s roof like he was a fookin’ kangaroo while the jeep itself wasn’t miraculously crushed under the hadrosaur’s weight); the employees and the park’s security being shitty (one enter so easily in the underground network that Biosyn could organise rave parties there right under InGen’s nose; Darius and Kenji being left with no supervision in the middle of the jungle while they are supposed to shovel shit as a punishment); the dinosaurs that passes too as incompetent for failing to kill the kids while such situations in real-life or in the first films would have unforgiving or barely forgiving but only at a certain cost. - Despite the ordeals they are going through, the kids seems to be never traumatised or at least shaken like the Murphys, Kelly Malcolm or Maisie were respectively in JP, TLW and FK since here, they seems to be in shock for a moment or two before starting again to squabble or quipping once they are away from danger. - At the end of the monorail attack scene, I thought that the writers had the balls to kill off Ben and I would have tipped my hat to this narrative decision and give more credit to this kid show if we didn’t had the reveal at the end that he was still alive. At the end, we just got another Billy Brennan situation. - Bumby is useless in this season, aside from encouraging toy sales and being the show’s cute caution and still, it’s relative as her closeups along with Brooklynn’s rapy face in episode 2 have scared me more than the predators’ attacks in the season’s second half. And her growth rate is so fucked up as she hatch in episode 2 before reappearing in episode 5 I think which is supposed to be set two days later, where she is already the size of a bulldog. And the scene where she cries while the kids are being kicked off the lab (for understandable reasons) is so ridiculous... - Aside from in the action and suspenseful scenes mentioned above in the positive aspects, the use and depicting of dinosaurs is either anecdotal, either WTF with the Sinoceratops being almost as gentle as a lamb (try to do with a hippo or a rhino what the Kennys did with the sino, I wouldn’t mind some funny antics...). I’m not a fan of the bioluminescent Parasaurolophus and their scene either. It seems like they wanted to copy the Na’vi River Journey’s attraction from Animal Kingdom in Orlando, with semi-aquatic parasaurs worthy of some outdated depictions from the last century. - Visually speaking, the universe and the artistic direction are poor. The jungle has the same look everywhere on the island (with trees of average height being relatively spaced from one another while the ground is covered with grass) and its scenery never seem foreboding or ominous while Isla Nublar and Isla Sorna were, in some way, entire characters in the films that sometimes aroused an eerie sense of mystery and danger, at east in the original trilogy and Fallen Kingdom. The park itself is quite empty too, even before the evacuation. There is only scene with a large amount of people and the latter seems to all share the same model and the same animation in addition of being blurred (probably as a camouflage for the lack of budget) and we don’t believe in this world as nothing grand comes out of the visited locations (aside from maybe the eponymous Camp Cretaceous) and that everything seems so bland, with even the employees being of the same corpulence, age group and behaviour except for a few exceptions. - Finally, let’s discuss about the coherence with the Jurassic World film, of which this show is supposed be a canon interquel. Even though if there is several nods to some of the latter’s events (Masrani’s helicopter is seen a couple of times; the Kennys take the ACU’s van; they walk past Zach and Gray’s destroyed gyrosphere and the killed ankylosaur’s body...) as well as other materials of the franchise, including JP3 and Masrani Global website, like if the show wanted to tell us “Hey look! I did my homework!” in order to please the fans. It’s one thing to make references to the rest of the saga and it’s easy actually, but it’s another to use them for something else than just fan-service. Despite all this, Camp Cretaceous has its share of inconsistencies with Jurassic World. I won’t list them all since it wouldn’t be that interesting but among other things, we have the mention of fences falling apart across the entire island while nothing like this happened in JW (it seems they mixed up the JP and JW incidents) or at least not on this scale; the kids visit a lab somewhere north of the park whose existence seems a bit off as the Innovation Center’s lab can do everything that lab does, in addition of housing Wu’s secret lab; the surroundings of the mosasaur lagoon which seems empty by the end of the afternoon while chronologically speaking, the scene is supposed to happen just after the pterosaurs attack (and thus the area should be crawling with employees that are looking for eventual late visitors, or the still running security cameras could have spotted the kids) and why did those foolish Kennys didn’t thought of going to the nearby hotels right after the ordeal with the mosasaur instead of hanging around in the bleachers up until sunset, hotels where a large number of visitors are supposed to be found up until quite late in the night according to the Jurassic World film? Anyway, Camp Cretaceous might have got a kick up the backside halfway through and the quality of the episodes did increased little by little but the whole season stays nevertheless mediocre and the viewing of the series is honestly quite dispensable, especially if you were disappointed by the Jurassic World films. Some will probably tell me that I’m being too hard with a kids show but actually, the fact that it is targeted for kids is no excuse for some flaws like a lack of ambition in the artistic direction, the shitty humour or the wtf scenes. Whether a work is for adults, for all audiences, or for kids, the creative investment and the work quality should stay the same.

#jurassic #jurassicworld #jurassic park #jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous

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eri-blogs-life · 4 years ago

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There was, of course, a fair amount of controversy around the time of Pokemon Sword/Shield’s release regarding Dexit, among other issues. When they first came out, I played Shield version, and had an okay time. Now, having put some space between the game’s release and the present, I decided to pick back up and try playing Sword version to see if my feelings changed any. Was it more than just okay? Or worse than I’d thought before?

I have a lot of notes on thoughts I had during this adventure, and I’m going to try to structure these thoughts in some way but idk how exactly. Some are fairly minor thoughts, but some are definitely going to require a more in-depth writeup. Also, for context, I only played through the base game, not the DLC. I probably will play through again to try out the DLC but I didn’t want to buy the DLC just yet.

Why Can’t Pokemon Follow You Anymore? AKA Iteration vs Innovation

Pokemon has a problem with getting any better as a series. Especially in the last few versions, we’ve really seen this coming to light - while early on, updates to graphics and gameplay (like the physical/special split) made each new generation feel like an evolution of the previous one’s gameplay, somewhere around gen 6 it really started to show that the series isn’t focused on evolution quite so much anymore. Sure, there’s still been some updates to mechanics and some graphical updates, but those have all been minor since, or completely dropped after that generation.

Mega Evolution, Z-Moves, and now Dynamaxing are all part of this problem. They are cool new ideas that add to the mechanics of the pokemon games, but are ultimately dropped in the next generation. They are gimmicks, meant to drive sales and engagement with any particular game in the series, but which don’t serve to elevate the series as a whole particularly well.

Generally speaking, it feels like the direction the Pokemon developers want to go with the games is more in coming up with some cool gimmick as a temporary measure rather than creating new core growth to the series that could be iterated upon in future versions to create better games with each new one. While Gold and Silver definitely felt like an evolution of Red and Blue, and Ruby and Sapphire yet again an evolution of Gold and Silver, with the games slowly becoming more advanced and better with each generation, I can’t really say that I feel like SwSh is any better than Sun/Moon, or Sun/Moon is really any better than X/Y. They are different, and have some small new iterations to the previous formula, but they don’t feel all that much better, just different.

Grinding bosses, AKA Diagetic Fail States

Diagesis is always a fun topic to talk about in video games. I was watching a video the other day about Sekiro and how it uses a lot of similar gameplay structures to other FromSoft games, like a diagetic fail state - when you die in Sekiro, that’s a part of the story. You don’t game over. There is no way to get a game over in a FromSoft game, as your character can never truly die.

Pokemon is definitely neat in how it is a series that has also always had a diagetic fail state - when you die, you retreat to the last pokemon center you were at, keeping any experience gained but losing your physical progress towards your next destination. However, each time you faint while traveling down a new route, you make the progress a little easier for yourself the next time, by both gaining experience for your team and defeating some of the trainers along the path.

However, this diagetic fail state doesn’t always make sense in Pokemon’s design, and I think the Championship in SwSh really brings that to the forefront. If your team faints while fighting a gym leader or while fighting in the championship or against the Champion, you don’t fail your gym challenge. You just retreat and come back to try again. This isn’t acknowledged in any way in-game. Leon has the same dialogue no matter how many times you fight him. Every time you fight him is the first time you fight him, no matter how many times you’ve been knocked out and had to retreat to the pokemon center. It creates a significant divide in the experience the game’s mechanics are giving you and the story they are trying to tell.

In the story, after helping stop the Darkest Day, you challenge the League Champion and claim your spot as the new champion. But in the gameplay, you have infinite tries to bash your head against the wall that is Leon, and the Championship will never end unless you end it.

I think the diagetic fail state pokemon normally has, wherein when you faint you go back to the last pokemon center, makes a lot of sense both mechanically and in terms of the world of pokemon. The world of pokemon is built in no small part to support this diagetic fail state. However, there are certain events, like fights with Team Leaders, Legendary Pokemon, or the Champion, where that diagetic fail state is incomplete.

How could pokemon fix this? I think the big thing would be to have two sets of dialogue for at least major antagonists, like the Team Leaders or the Champion, where they give you one set of dialogue the first time you fight them and a different set on future fights, if you lost the previous fight. And changing any cutscenes surrounding fights with Legendaries, like the fight against Eternatus in SwSh, to have different dialogue if you lost the fight at least once, could help explain why the legendary hasn’t already gone and done their nasty world-ending attack that the story often seems to set them up to be going through with.

It’s not a perfect solution, I think, but that seems like the simplest solution to resolve this weird discrepancy between the fail state that exists in gameplay and that which exists in story, one admitting the player failed but giving them a chance to try again, and the other simply pretending that the player didn’t even fight the legendary that would cause massive global destruction if it wasn’t defeated then and there.

The Legendary Problem, AKA Story-Driven vs Player-Driven Game Design

Speaking of legendaries... What even is a Legendary Pokemon? Mewtwo, Ho-oh, Lugia, Groudon, Kyogre, Palkia, Dialga, the three dogs, the three birds, the three regis. These are all legendaries. They are powerful and rare pokemon that exist in their particular game/region. But their existence and their purpose has steadily changed over time.

Early on, legendaries were truly that - legendary. To own a mewtwo in red and blue was one hell of a feat, because it took a lot of work to find it and a lot of work to catch it (unless you used a master ball). But things started changing around Crystal version, but especially in Ruby and Sapphire. Legendaries became less of a rare thing that was out there somewhere, as some kind of legend, and became more integral into the stories of pokemon, and representative in some way of the story that the developers were trying to tell. Groudon isn’t really all that legendary, as you’re guaranteed to encounter them in the normal course of gameplay of R/S, but it’s important that Groudon be encountered in the story because Ruby and Sapphire is a set of games all about environmentalism, and Groudon and Kyogre serve as metaphors for the natural balance of our environment.

And this is part of a greater discussion on the direction of the pokemon series as a whole. Over time, Pokemon has become less about the journey that you are on as a player, with your pokemon, and more about telling some kind of a greater story with the world as a whole, where the player character serves as a vehicle for the player to see the story that is going on.

Sure, Red and Blue had a world story, but in no small part it felt not like you were being funneled into partaking in a story, and more like you were building your adventure while you traveled. There was a sense of discovery in Red and Blue, like the region of Kanto had a lot of hidden away pockets of existence that just weren’t known to the populace as a whole. But by the time of the Galar region, even the wilderness is carefully curated and sanctioned off. The Wild Area exists as just a singular place, but it is full of bridges and other man-made structures clearly indicating that this place isn’t really wilderness.

And absolutely a part of this comes from me now being an adult and having played many pokemon games before. And certainly my nostalgia for the older games is playing a part in this reading, and I’d like to return to red and blue soon to see if this really holds up quite so well.

But overall, it feels like the direction that the pokemon franchise is taking in recent games strays further and further from the original intention of the pokemon franchise. The story is that the idea for pokemon was developed because the original creator missed his childhood adventures of going out into the woods and catching beetles, an experience one just couldn’t get while living in the city. Pokemon feels like it’s straying further and further away from that sense of a player-driven exploration-focused adventure, and more into a constructed narrative.

The Wild Area was a step in the right direction. And if I understand right, the DLC areas are in their entirety Wild Areas where you can just wander around freely encountering wild pokemon and trainers. With all hope, the developers are coming to a similar conclusion I have, that the core appeal of pokemon is in that sense of exploration, adventure, and finding new things.

(Though, to be fair, not everyone would think of that as the core appeal of pokemon, anyway! Different people are into different aspects of the series, and of games as a whole - some people are completionists, some are explorers, some appreciate a good story, and some are super-competitive. Everyone experiences games differently. And while the pokemon dev team has done has a lot to make things better for different styles of play, my hope is that they can give explorers like myself more to look forward to in future entries in the series.)

Other Notes

Alright, so that gets through all the big stuff. With that, let’s just talk quickly about some other little notes I had while I was playing!

There’s way too much dialogue, and it’s not very interesting.

Pokemon are definitely still very very cute and I love them and I love this franchise as a whole.

I loved when X/Y added fashion but really the clothes in Galar feels not great? There’s not a lot of options, and it’s mostly just the same couple of styles in different colors. So I was really unimpressed. I think the DLCs add a lot more clothing options, though? So that’ll be exciting to try out later on.

The whole thing with time freezing whenever you get on a ladder is still really really silly

The gym missions are real neat. They are definitely just kind of an expansion on the totem challenges from sun/moon, and I really like where they’re going with challenges that aren’t purely about fighting like older gyms were. (Look at me, talking about how this one innovation to the core gameplay is so great when I was just earlier complaining about their gimmicky way of not really innovating on the core gameplay. I don’t think this totally changes my opinion from earlier, but it does kind of. They are making changes, but just very slowly)

Why force players to wear the gym uniform during gym missions? Like, I worked so hard to buy my own fancy clothes and they won’t even let me show off my clothes to the whole of the Galar region during my fight against the champion. Horribly game design

Honestly, the whole dexit controversy. Like... I still don’t think the pokemon company were in the right, and they really should just delay main-series games until they are complete rather than trying to release on such a tight yearly schedule.

I miss Victory Road. Having to put all your skills and knowledge you’ve gained up to that point together for one final grueling challenge was just a really nice way to bring together the whole experience into a neat little package at the end. I guess since especially SwSh is more focused on the gym challenge and the spectacle of that rather than on giving you an exploratory adventure to go on, it kinda makes sense that instead we get a short linear route followed by a series of fighting your rivals and refighting some gym leaders before the Champion.

The Champion fight definitely feels way harder than any of the other fights. It’s got a decent bump in levels compared to the previous fight, and I think that’s... well, it’s kind of cool cause it does really make Leon feel impressive. But also like, at that point there aren’t any great places to just grind to catch up to him so I ended up grinding by just challenging him over and over until I happened to win one time, which largely happened by luck, not by my team’s strength or my stratetgies. Maybe the best way for this to have happened was having the player start to fight Leon, but then have that fight get interrupted after the first pokemon was knocked out, rather than interrupting the championship right before the fight with Leon. That way we could’ve seen Leon’s team in action and gotten a sense of how much stronger than the player he would’ve been at that point. Then, you could’ve gone out to train against the wilds and prepare yourself for your final battle.

But of course, following up on the last point and making this its own point, the only reason I did struggle at points was because I didn’t much take advantage of everything the game had to offer. I never once used a healing item in battle, I never used any rare candies nor did I ever dynamax any of my pokemon. I did use a couple of experience candies, but I only ever did three dynamax raids during the course of my game, so I didn’t have a ton of candies to use anyway. If I’d taken full advantage of everything Galar had to offer to buff up my pokemon, I would’ve absolutely bodied Leon. Instead it was a tough fight that was doable after a few tries and some luck.

Overall, I’d say Pokemon Sword and Shield are an okay time. The game didn’t excel relative to my last time I played Shield near when they came out, and it doesn’t excel compared to past games in the franchise. It’s also not particularly bad compared to my first time or past pokemon games, though it definitely has its fair share of problems.

And of course, let us not forget the greatest tragedy of Pokemon Sword and Shield:

The best pokemon in Galar, Snom and Frosmoth, just aren’t that strong.

EDIT: one last note, here’s my final team that took on Leon with me

Dirt, my Runerigus, was someone I caught to fight against the fighting gym, and became an integral part of the team ever since.

Clara, my octopus thingy whose species name I forget, is nicknamed after my character from a wrestling tabletop rpg my group recently played.

Charlene, my Dubwool, was the mascot of the team from the very beginning. I caught her as soon as I could and quickly put my starter into the box

Pepper, my Shiftry, was in its third stage evolution before I even fought the first gym. I’d caught him as a Seedot early on, and he evolved into a Nuzleaf on the route before the town with the first gym. And in the town with the first gym, you can find a Leaf Stone just sitting around, so I evolved him before we went in to face the gym

Cooper, my Obstagoon, was someone I always thought I’d end up replacing, but just kept sticking around and proving herself more and more useful. In the end, it was her with her moves of Night Slash, Thunderpunch, and Icepunch, that was able to tank and take out like three of Leon’s pokemon

:3, my frosmoth, was a late addition to the team but absolutely beloved. He may have been pretty weak overall, but he pulled out a couple of clutch victories and I couldn’t be prouder of his time with the team.

#eri blogs games #whew this is... a big one #a long post if you will #i had a lot of thoughts about my latest single-player gaming experience #pokemon #pokemon sword and shield

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echodrops · 5 years ago

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Where do middling middles come from? I struggle with it myself, I know how I want to begin and end the story, but the middle somehow doesn’t seem „right“, and I feel like a lot of movies seem to struggle with meandering second acts as well. Where do you think that comes from?

Sorry my answer on this was delayed–this ask came during my grading period and then finals at the end of our semester. T_T

Anyway, middles…

To be honest, the core of the problem is probably thinking of the “middle” as a specific section of your story in the first place. We all know the montage: beginning, middle, end. But the truth is that while a story always requires a finite beginning and ending–it has to start somewhere and end eventually–what we think of as “the middle” is actually a vague, umbrella term encompassing everything from the moment your main plot starts rolling to the moment the story reaches its climax.

Rest under a read more:

Basically, this is the traditional plot diagram most of us learn in schools:

The problem with this is that it tends to create confusion about where the climax of a story is supposed to occur–looking at this, you might be tempted to think that the “middle” of the story should be an action-packed, important moment that really stuns the readers.

The truth of the matter is that the plots of most stories look a lot more like this:

The climax comes significantly later, typically only a chapter or two before the end of the book, and the “geographical” middle (i.e. page 100 of 200 total), instead falls somewhere in the area traditionally called the “rising action.”

So where do boring, poorly-paced middles come from? Why do people struggle to figure out what to put in their story’s “middle”?

Off the top of my head, I can think of two reasons people struggle with middles:

1. Misunderstanding what “rising action” means and how it should be constructed.

If I ask my students to define “rising action,” the answer I usually get is “A series of events that leads up to the story’s climax.” From a technical standpoint, this answer is correct–we have to get from the beginning to the story’s climax somehow, right?

But from a practical stand point, thinking of rising action as nothing more than “the events leading up to my story’s biggest moment” inevitably results in a stale, linear, and inorganic middle. If every action and moment from the beginning of the story to the climax all contributes to the same plot, the result is typically a robotic, uninteresting series of events where characters feel less like they’re acting for themselves, and more like they’re toy soldiers marching to the author’s orders–they’re being forced to jump through a predetermined set of hurdles to get to someone else’s goal, rather than being allowed to naturally change, develop, and exist outside of the story’s main conflict.

All too often, the writing thought process is: “I know where my story starts–Point A. And I know where I want it to end–Point B. Now I just need to get my characters from Point A to Point B!” And that’s… it. The sum total of thought put into the middle: just get from Point A to Point B.

But that’s not how human beings–and characters written by human beings–work. We’re not linear; we’re messy. We don’t take the right path every time. We backtrack. We get distracted. We’re often juggling more than one problem at once. We avoid conflict like the plague.

Reducing the middle of your story to a vehicle for getting characters from Point A to Point B denies them–and your readers–crucial opportunities for humanization, crucial opportunities to add depth and meaning to their plot, and in general limits realism and makes characters feel one-dimensional. If you’ve ever sat through a middle where you just didn’t emotionally engage with the characters at all, it’s probably because that middle was more focused on getting characters to the big climax than on allowing them to be “real” people or live for a second outside of the story’s single main conflict.

Okay, all well and good for me to say this, but how do you fix it?

Rethink your rising action. Even in the most basic and brief of plots (i.e. vignettes or short stories), rising action is never a single straight line from Point A to Point B. If you want your middle to feel realistic and engaging, let it reflect the behaviors and thought processes that real humans experience:

Mad MS Paint skills.

If you want your middle to be more than a stale Point A -> Point B, then fill it things that make your characters human: small, unexpected challenges. Chances to overcome lower-stakes conflict to learn new skills and enforce character growth. Fill in details of their life with flashbacks and side moments that help us readers better visualize and empathize with them. Let them make mistakes. Let them struggle to find the right way forward. Let them think about things other than the main plot absolutely 24/7.

It is true that events needs to ramp up as the story progress–the conflict needs to get more and more personal, more and more “threatening” or at least important to the main character (and therefore the readers)–but instead of throwing all your chips down on one massive climax, build in some smaller scale conflict moments throughout the “middle,” some tiny climaxes along the way, each one helping your character learn something new about themself, others, the world around them, yes, even the main plot…

Except when writing the shortest of short stories, just like real life, your plot should (usually) never present just ONE challenge to its protagonist. Every major event in our human lives is a complex, interconnected network of prior experiences and growth, trial and error, emotional baggage and interplay between people. That’s what good middles are full of. If you’re struggling to figure out what to put in your story’s middle, it’s probably because you’re so fixated on “Point A -> Point B” that you haven’t given enough thought to the complex journey in between. Don’t let your set-in-stone plans for the story’s “end” distract and limit you or your characters!

This is already really long, but I did say there were two possible problems with middles, so:

2. The climax happens prematurely. Don’t look at me, I didn’t pick the term.

Oftentimes a story seems to wander and lose focus before reaching its big climax, because of rising action that lacks depth and pizzazz. But the opposite problem can also occur: it’s possible for the rising action to be way too short, resulting in a climax that comes too early–closer to the geographical middle of the book–leaving a ton of space for falling action… But the author had nothing good to put there.

If you’ve ever seen a movie or read a book where there was an awesome, moving, incredible scene in the middle, and then it just seems to drag on and on before finally petering out with a whimper instead of bang, what’s going on is that the author jumped to the climax too early, with nothing solid or meaningful to fill in the gaps afterward. As a result, there are a bunch of included “here’s what happened after everyone went home” scenes, often with very little emotional pay-out, leaving readers wondering why the story is still… going… on… (And it’s usually still going on because the author had some epilogue idea in mind and realized they had to fill the gaps between the climax and the epilogue, see Problem #1 again.)

While it is possible to write stories where the main explosion of the conflict occurs in the dead-middle of the book/story (hell, you can even write stories where the major climax occurs FIRST), doing this requires you to shift the goalposts–it’s no longer a “character grows and, in time, overcomes main conflict and gets a happy ending;” instead, it’s “these characters experienced an intense conflict… now here’s how they handle and cope with what comes after.” When the climax happens earlier than “the end,” the focus of the story has to shift to really examining the aftermath, the implications and effects of the climax. Unless this shift occurs and the story becomes one of hurting, healing, and reflection after a massive conflict/upheaval, then we end up with a meandering second act that never packs the punch readers really want as the story winds down.

So like… don’t do this unless you really know what you’re doing, I guess? (Or you’re willing to fail until you figure it out, that works too…)

tl;dr: My tips for writing a good middle are:

1. Plan out several smaller scale moments of conflict, several “mini” climaxes/challenges for your main character to overcome as the story progresses. These smaller scale climaxes are excellent moments for your characters to learn new skills, gain more knowledge, or grow as people, which will then help build up to the major climax. Use these smaller scale “high points” to keep the middle feeling action-packed while also preventing the story from feeling like the characters are just robots marching from Point A to Point B.

2. When trying to plan out mini conflicts, think about A) what skills, traits, knowledge, etc. your character NEEDS to learn/develop in order to ultimately overcome the main conflict. What are some realistic and interesting ways for your character to gain these skills/knowledge/emotional growth, etc.? and B) In what ways can you involve other characters in this? These miniature moments of challenge and struggle are EXCELLENT places for clashes and connections between characters to grow and deepen.

3. Remember that characters are generally written by humans and should act like humans (seriously, even fantasy characters need to have a bit of humanization to them, or your readers won’t be able to care about their stories), so unless you REALLY have no spare space in your story, plan for mistakes, backtracking, misunderstandings, distractions, flashbacks, side plots, etc. Let your characters live and breathe in the middle–don’t mindlessly force them on a linear path towards your goal for them. LET THEM LIVE, GOD.

4. Unless you intentionally are writing a story about aftermath, recovery, or how people handle a traumatic experience, save the major climax for near the end of the story. Don’t put the moment of highest emotion and struggle and meaning in the dead middle of your book and leave yourself with five more chapters to fill and nothing but epilogue content to fill them with. Don’t be fooled by the pyramid–the climax in most stories comes in the last few chapters!

Phew, I think that about covers it. Hopefully this is what you were looking for.

#writing advice #writing #how to write middles #writing middles #plot structures #echo answers asks #eventually

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years ago

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Four: A Crystal Cup ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Divine Light ] [ AO3 Link ]

Passing through the city gates is a bit nostalgic.

Astride his dark mount, Sasuke comes to a stop just outside, observing for a short while. The first time he beheld the Luxerian capital, the protective barrier was still erect, shielding the city from outsiders. Its roads had been ghostly, empty and silent as he, his brother, the light mage, and Hinata all made their way in toward the castle atop the knoll, and the statue of Luxeria standing guard. It was there the healer at last found the knowledge necessary to cure Itachi entirely, and repay her friend’s side of the debt: the agreement between the fire and water mages then complete. Hinata had gotten away from her father, learning about magic...and in turn, Sasuke’s brother was cured at long last.

From there...things seemed to snowball.

Determined to resuscitate the city of her ancestors, the lux mage had enlisted both Itachi and Hinata’s help in rebuilding the council of the twelve elements. Itachi agreed to take igni’s mantle, and Hinata aqua’s.

Sasuke...had felt betrayed.

His brother had promised that - once his body was whole - they would return home to their parents and finally enjoy a normal, healthy life. It was the one thing that had kept Sasuke on this path: the promise of his brother’s vitality, and seeing their parents’ faces upon their return. At first, he’d been angry - livid - convinced that the lux mage had twisted Itachi somehow to get him to agree to such a hare-brained scheme.

And Hinata, too! She’d been friends with the healer before he’d met her, but still…! Did all their journeying together - all they faced together - mean nothing? Was she really ready to throw away the freedom she’d earned and become shackled to another destiny? Give away her autonomy to involve herself with politics?

All Sasuke had ever wanted was a free, peaceful life with his mother, father, and brother...and suddenly, everything felt like it was falling apart. Perhaps it was childish...but he chose to be angry: chose to blame the lux mage and her ambitions for Itachi’s change of heart.

...of course, that had only been partially true. The blooming friendship between the pair - with hints of something more than friendship - had swayed him. But once he managed to corner his younger brother, Itachi had explained his feelings: of wanting to help restore balance and peace for their people. No longer would the el’ven have to live in fear and hiding.

Hinata, too, admitted to similar feelings. Her own family’s flight took place when she was old enough to remember, unlike Sasuke’s in his infancy. It weighed on her far heavier...as it did on Itachi, who also witnessed the downfall of their city.

...it took time, but he came to understand, if a bit stubbornly. And after meeting with the monster slayer and assassin Kakashi, Sasuke honed his skills further, taking to the road as his brother and Hinata pursued their own futures. It’s been a year, now...and he’s finally returned.

Maturity has stripped a bit more of the fat from his face, hair longer and half-tied in a tail behind his head. His brashness has tempered with patience after so many hunts and contracts. Finally, it seems...he’s grown up.

His year on the road has changed him greatly...and helped him see many matters from another angle. It’s that alone that brings him back, and at this particular time. In only a few days, the second of the new council meetings will begin.

Hence the current bustle in the city, so unlike his first glimpses of it. Allowing a hint of a smile, he gently urges his horse forward, shod hooves clacking pleasantly against the stone streets. Those on foot part like water to let him pass as he makes his way to the stables. Mount housed, he then makes his way up to the castle doors. Guards preside carefully, asking his name.

“Sasuke, house of Uchiha,” he replies evenly, seeing the recognition in their eyes.

“Oh, aye sir! Please, make your way inside.”

Nodding, he passes them into the entry hall. Flawless white stone and peerless glass windows seem to alight from all angles. Even here there are considerable crowds: mostly palace staff, alongside Luxerian acolytes dressed in white and gold. Intermixed are other elemental colors, the twelve represented and gathered to prepare for the week of festivities and negotiations.

For a time he stands and watches the bustle, mostly unnoticed as he only receives curious glances. He doesn’t stand out much in his plain traveling gear and cloak, looking every part the wanderer and sellsword he’s become.

“...Sasuke…?”

For a moment, the tone stills the beats in his chest. Then a glance aside reveals Hinata. Pale eyes are wide in surprise, posture half hesitant as though weighing the decision to reach for him. The traditional colors of Auquiana - deep and shallow blues - color every inch of her garments, accented subtly by silver. Her hair is still long, loose along her back.

“...Hinata.”

Brightening, she abandons her indecision and approaches him, bearing a warm smile. “What are you doing here? Did Itachi ask you to come?”

“No...I’m here of my own volition. Thought I’d see how things have progressed in a year’s time.”

“I see…! Then...have you plans to remain until the summit is over?”

“Perhaps. We’ll see how it holds my interest.”

That earns a wry smile. “I’m sure it will. Even if you’re not a fan of politics, the meeting of cultures is always of intrigue. I’m sure if you asked, Itachi would let you sit on his council if you wished to see the proceedings up close.”

“...we’ll see,” he replies vaguely, not too keen on the political side of things. “I hear there’s a gala…?”

“Yes, for the dignitaries and their parties, as well as some notable guests.”

“So...those with deep pockets,” Sasuke counters.

“Some, yes. Others are experts in ven, or in negotiations. Some are just important members of each culture. This isn’t just for the rich and powerful.”

That just earns a hum. “...well, I suppose I might at least participate in that, if I must.”

“It’s by far the most entertaining day,” Hinata agrees. “It’s the first, so we all begin on a friendly, light-hearted note. At least...that’s how it felt last year. We’ll see if history repeats itself. But for now...why don’t we catch up? It feels like it’s been eons since I’ve seen you…”

“Is a year really that painful?”

Hinata gives him a glance. “...was it not so for you?”

“Well...I kept rather busy.”

“As did I. But I always found myself hoping you’d write.”

A bit of guilt settles in his stomach. “...next year,” he half jokes, half promises.

“You’d better…!”

Hinata dispels her entourage, and the pair retreat to the back gardens. They aren’t alone, but the atmosphere is quite a bit less stressful than the interior of the castle. As they come to a stop nearby a fountain, a member of the staff seems to appear out of thin air, holding aloft a tray with crystal goblets filled with sparkling white wine.

“A bit early for that, isn’t it?” Sasuke asks.

“It helps keep things...relaxed,” Hinata replies in jest, accepting a crystal cup.

After a pause, Sasuke does the same, taking a small sip. “So...how has all of this treated you?”

“It’s hard work, especially since we’re still only just beginning,” she admits, watching the water. “But we’ve already made excellent headway. Treaties and new political lines are always in the works. Things are changing...slowly, but surely. The relations between el’ven and el’kor are bettering. Tensions remain, but...it’s to be expected.”

“How has my brother fared? He’d write me on occasion but otherwise I heard little - he was always vague and light on words.”

“In all honesty, I doubt I can tell you much more. As much as we work together, so too do we have plenty to do apart. But you’ll see him soon - I think he’s due to arrive today or tomorrow.”

“It will be good to see him…”

Hinata glances to him thoughtfully. “...and it’s good to see you,” she murmurs. “I take it the road treated you well enough?”

“Fairly. I sent most of my earnings back home. It hasn’t been glorious, but honest enough. Engaging enough.”

“Don’t you ever get lonely…?”

“...a bit.”

“...is that why you came back?”

His lips tick upwards. “...maybe it is. At the very least, in part. A break in the monotony is always good. There’s variety in my work, but it’s all still work.”

“Mm...I understand.”

For a moment, they stand in silence...and then Hinata lifts a hand. Casually, playfully, she starts manipulating some of the water in the fountain.

In a way it makes Sasuke nostalgic, thinking back to the first lessons he gave her about the powers her father had forbidden her to use.

“I guess our paths have no intention of slowing any time soon, do they?” she then murmurs, letting the liquid meld back into the pool.

“...I suppose not. But maybe that just means we enjoy what we have while we have it.”

A brief smile flickers across her face. “...maybe. At the very least, I intend to.” Hinata gives him a glance. “...which includes your company.”

“...I look forward to it.”

.oOo.

More crossover with my original fantasy verse! Admittedly this one hasn't had much...story? At least not linear among all I've done with it: just random bits and pieces, sort of like the ALAS stuff. Hence not linking things (yet) because it's really all over the place lol Speaking of, I HAVE been slowly working on a spreadsheet trying to get all of these sorted into mini series. Maybe by year's end I'll be done :'D But yeah, not much to say about this one...just a lil reunion after some character growth. I kinda DO want to make a fic out of this, maybe...I'm just wary since it has original elements of mine. I've been doing one with a friend of mine's OC and mine, and a few canons...but SH really isn't in it, as it takes place a bit later than this...kinda? So idk if anyone here would be interested lol Anyway, I'm...very tired, and in a lotta tooth pain, so I'm gonna call it a night~ Thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #divine light [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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rubberduckyrye · 5 years ago

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god im sorry if im flooding your inbox with questions but uh got anything about ur ocs theos and richard? (sorry if i've spammed you with questions i can't tell if i've actually hit the ask button or not sometimes oof)

uhm, how about your OCs richard and theos(?)

Not the same anon but could you describe theos

I’m finally getting to these, wooo!

I’m going to mostly focus on Theos here, but if you really are curious about Richard, let me know! I just. I felt bad cause I was drawing a reference of Theos but it took a while and I couldn’t really get to Richard, sorry;;

Okay, so a little bit of history for this;

These characters are two parts of a trio that I made with @celestriakle waaaay back when we were both in the NiGHTS fandom. These characters were based off of Wizeman the Wicked, the big bad final boss of “NiGHTS into Dreams” and “NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams.” If you want to watch a let’s play of the latter (as it actually has story/a narrative to it where as the first game has only game play. Older games had their stories mostly written in the little booklets that came with the games) you can watch this here. NiGHTS is like, the OG purple gremlin child and they are such a mischievous delight. The game sadly hasn’t aged well and wasn’t like, the best of games, but I still hold it fondly to my heart and I’d say it’s got some great concepts.

Anyway! If you want just a very rough summary and not watch 5 hours of a game; Wizeman the Wicked is the self-proclaimed god of Nightmare, which resides in the Dark Ocean underneath the Dream Gate. The Dream Gate allows dreamers (called “visitors” in the game) to enter their dream worlds of paradise (or, more accurately, worlds created by the reflections of their hearts) called “Nightopia.” However, Wizeman is constantly sending his creations, “Nightmarens,” to steal fragments from the hearts of visitors (these fragments being called “Ideya,” and are Courage (Red), Purity (White), Blue (Intelligence), Growth (Green), and finally, Hope (Yellow). The Ideya of Courage allows visitors to unlock their first Nightopia, and if they can gather the remaining Ideya, they can unlock new dream worlds. In these dream worlds are little creatures called “Nightopians,” which are like… fairies, I guess, to simplify things. There’s also an owl creature that doesn’t have a clear origin, and his name is…. Owl. Real creative, I know.

Another thing–SPOILERS, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR THE NIGHTS GAME, STOP READING AND WATCH THE VIDEO AND COME BACK TO THIS–that is important to note here is the Nightmaren. There are three levels of “nightmaren”; Third levels - the weakest enemies, the ones you find wandering Nightopia that get in the way/stage enemies; Second levels, which are “boss marens” and are the Nightmarens who have taken the ideya from the protagonist visitors and are keeping it hidden in their lairs, and finally, First level Nightmaren; to which there are only two. A pair of “twins,” if you want to call them that. Reala is the first of the two; he is very loyal to his “master”, Wizeman, and is considered the general of the nightmaren army. He’s portrayed as cruel and even sadistic in a way. The second first level Nightmaren? NiGHTS themselves.

NiGHTS is a renegade Nightmaren that has rebelled against Wizeman for an obscure reason. Fans love to speculate on it, but there is no real “canon” reason, only hints that NiGHTS might be more ashamed of where they come from than they’d like to let on.

Why is this important? Because it ties in to Theos, and consequently, Richard and Cyrus–Celest’s character, though I won’t talk much about him here since that’s her muse/character so go ask her about him if you’re really that curious. Either way, I’ll note here that Theos, Richard, and Cyrus are all “parts” of Wizeman. Think of Steven Universe and “fusions”, except this was created long before Steven Universe was airing. So Wizeman is a “Fusion” of these three characters--though the three “humans” that make up Wizeman are called “The Fragments.”

Anyway! Moving on.

The initial translation of the “NiGHTS into Dreams” biography for Wizeman was mistranslated, I do believe, but it suggests that Wizeman is a “Visitor with no Ideya” and among the first intelligent life form to exist in the world of dreams. Long before I even met Celest, me and an ex friend/boyfriend (don’t ask) of mine laughed at the idea, but them we started pondering the logistics of that information, and created Theos. He worked on the original story for Theos (which I can’t remember for the life of me, it’s all been scrapped though) and I made up a design.

So for reference, here is what Wizeman the Wicked looks like.

Here is what Theos used to look like. Be warned, it’s old as shit art! Wow, this art is almost ten years old, holy shit–

And this is what Theos’ current design is, plus a very sinister looking goop monster.

The first design you see on the most modern design (the more obviously human looking form) is Theos when he was alive. His eyes are actually a dark, dark brown, but they are hazed over. I forget the technical term for it, but anyway, it left him blind. This was kind of a problem, a huge problem, for Theos--because he was born during the age of Sparta.

For those of you who don’t know, Spartans were very vicious awful, and if an infant was born with a clear deformity or disability, they were doomed to be abandoned in the wilderness and left to die. Theos was born blind, and very visibly so. However, his mother had died during child birth, and her last request was that her baby live a happy life. To honor that request, Theos’ father convinced everyone that his child was a prophet of the gods, and that his blindness was due to an ability to predict the future via his dreams. He warned that the gods would strike Sparta down with vicious rage if they killed the baby boy, and that when Theos does pass on from the realm of the humans, he will report his life back to the gods. He managed to convince them that Theos was, indeed, a prophet, and he was an exception to the rule for about eight years.

However, his father had grown resentful and hateful of his son for “killing” his wife, and making his life a living hell, so he decided that he was tired of it all and threw Theos into a river, where he drowned.

Before Theos had died, he discovered the dream gate, and discovered that he was a lucid dreamer. He created a creature he named “Owl” (yes, this gives Owl an origin story) and had all five of his Ideya before he died, thus had access to all of his Nightopias.

However, when he died, he hit his head on a rock and fell unconscious just before he drowned, and a remarkable series of events occurred.

First, his mind and soul went to the world of Dreams.

Second, his lucidity started to violently lash out, as he himself was panicking and in a lot of pain, and started to change his “body.”

Third, all of his Ideya started shattering.

With the unique circumstances of his death, Theos’ soul transfered from the waking world to the dream world just before he died, sacrificing his Ideya to stabilize his form as a “creature of dreams” instead of as “a visitor.”

From there, after the horrid traumatic experience, Theos tried to seek comfort in his nightopias--nightopias that no longer had Ideya to support them, and thus were destroyed. Devastated by the fact that the world of dreams basically rejected his being, Theos threw himself into the Dark Ocean--the Sea of Nightmare--and was engulfed in the madness below.

This is where the fourth and crucial yet remarkable event occurred. You see, the goop monster depicted in the drawing I did is called “Dream Force.” The state of it in that picture, is when it takes on the negative thoughts and feelings of visitors, thus turning it into sludge and into “nightmare” force. This is a personal creation and headcanon of mine, but I imagine that the Dark Ocean is basically made up of “negative” Dream Force--or, Nightmare Force.

Now normally, when visitors die in a similar manner like Theos, they don’t last long in the dream world. Their souls eventually lose power and fade as they finally pass on to the next life. However, Theos was the first visitor to have “tamed” the Nightmare Force through his own lucid powers, and using the Nightmare Force as energy, he was able to survive for centuries--but at a cost. Being surrounded by nightmares, horrible, violent thoughts and feelings, and all that good stuff, only fueled the hatred and despair he felt. So, Theos grows more and more angry, hateful and resentful of the human race, wanting to be rid of it.

That’s basically his story, tbh! I don’t really know what to do with him, though me and Celest are planning a rp-to-fic thing of the Fragments, so he might just star as a NiGHTS oc.

Sorry this took so long to get to :’D I hope that satisfies you curiosity about Theos at least. I might do Richard another time.

Anyway! Thanks for asking~

#Anonymous #theos #oc

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atekasey · 5 years ago

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My Top 5 Games of 2019

As I like to do every year, here’s some collected ramblings about my opinions of some games I played and really liked this year. While there were a lot more than 5 games that I enjoyed this year, I only had strong opinions about these 5. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on my top 5 games of the year of our lord 2019.

DISCO ELYSIUM

Full disclosure: I have not finished Disco Elysium; I am about three quarters of the way through the 3rd day. Regardless, I loved so much of what little I played that I consider it one of the best games of the year, based solely on the world-building and characterizations I’ve encountered so far.

Disco Elysium is an adventure game/RPG where the only stats you build up are personality stats and thought processes, which affects how you talk to people and interact with the environment. The main plot is about you playing as an amnesiac cop tasked with solving a murder at the centre of a labour dispute, but to be honest I couldn't really care less about the main plot. Not to say the plot is bad per se, it just didn't grab me like how the setting and individual characterizations did. The main plot was nothing more than a vehicle for me to explore and find out more about Revachol, its residents, and how all of them came to be who they are. The amazing writing that underpins every interaction is what makes the individual interactions so compelling.

When I woke up every morning (in the game world, mind you), the only thing I wanted to do is talk to people, conveniently ignoring the dialogue choices that furthered the plot until the end of the conversation. The pétanque-playing veterans who have some scathing opinions about communist theory, the paledriver who's mind is corrupted by nostalgia, the mysterious balcony smoker who I later learned was part of the homosexual underground, the Semanese race theorist who I wanted nothing more than to punch in the face if not for my low physical instrument stat, these are just some examples of the extremely varied characters you meet while you investigate some dead dude or whatever, I guess. Speaking of the paledriver, learning about the true nature of the pale from the White Pines rep was a pivotal moment for me personally, as it made the world feel both unique and existentially terrifying. All these little details and more create the rich tapestry that is Disco Elysium. Also, some dude was murdered??? Who cares about that, I need to make my sorry-cop sing depressing karaoke!

I should really get back and finish it.

CONTROL

I remember the first time I read SCP-087 back in the day, and it introduced me up to the horrifying (and sometimes comedic) world of SCP. For those who don't know SCP (which can stand for "special containment procedures" or "secure, contain, protect", depending where you look), is a collaborative fiction wiki about fake government reports on the supernatural and paranormal. It's the bureaucratic nature of SCPs that really drew me into reading them, making it feel like I was reading real government reports.

So imagine my delighted surprise when I first played Control, I picked up the first of many report-type collectible and saw that it was written almost exactly like an SCP entry. Control is a game that asks "what if the SCP Foundation was a real branch of the US government?" and goes off the deep-end with that premise in the best possible way. The bureaucratic mundanity of the Federal Bureau of Control really shines in these reports, as you read report after report of some other-worldly phenomenon while also reading reports about the monthly book club. Beyond that, actually playing control was fun and engaging... up until the end. Jesse is a great protagonist, and the characters you meet along the way have great personality and give life to the bureau. The Oldest House is a fascinating setting to explore, with it’s brutalist look and nooks and crannies that change and spiral off in otherworldly ways. Unfortunately, for all the build-up the story was leading to, it ends on a pretty lame whimper. But the lackluster ending did not sway my overall love for Control. No one makes games like Remedy at the AAA level, and I'm happy they are making games like Control. I cannot wait for the DLC for this game to get back into it.

Also, the PC version of control does a phenomenal job at showing off how ray-tracing really is the future of lighting and graphics. The real-time reflections alone, where the scene I was watching was reflected almost perfectly on a pane of glass like an actual reflection (in real-time, no less!) was a marvel to look at. And, not since Quake 2 did coloured lighting look so pretty. Suffice to say, Control justified my RTX 2080 purchase single-handedly.

AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES

I have what one can say a love/hate relationship with the Zero Escape series. The first entry, 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors, is one of my favourite games of all time (currently ranked 3rd, if you care at all, which you probably don't, sorry to bother you), and while the cliffhanger ending of the sequel, Virtue's Last Reward, made me excited to see where the series would go, Zero Time Dilemma ultimately did not offer a satisfying conclusion. Not only did ZTD barely resolve any of the threads started in VLR, but it was a very disappointing conclusion to the entire Zero Escape series as a whole (Junpei and Akane's story just getting a tossed-off mention after you beat the game about how "they lived happily ever after" and nothing else? THEY DESERVED BETTER!). So when it was announced that the creator of the Zero Escape series, Kotaro Uchikoshi, was making a new game called AI: The Somnium Files, I was cautiously optimistic. I hoped ZTD was just a one-off and not indicative of a downward trend starting to happen, and Uchikoshi still had it in him to tell a compelling story.

Very fortunately (for me at least), AI: The Somnium Files delivered in the best possible way, meeting and thoroughly exceeding my expectations.

It took some time before the game adhered itself to me as a truly great game, unlike Zero Escape. In the Zero Escape games, given the Saw-like murder games the characters were forced to participate in, there was an sense of urgency to the story that helped propel it right from minute one. AI, on the other hand, is more procedural, which makes sense given that you're playing as Kaname Date, a cop who has a fake eye that is also an AI named AIBA (trust me, it makes sense in context), trying to solve the murder of his adopted daughter's birth mom. Not to strip the act of murder from the seriousness it deserves, but AI ends up being more lighthearted than the Zero Escape games, which only made me enjoy the game more. AI takes its time to explore it's story and characters, letting scenes breath and focus on characters instead of the mystery at hand, allowing said characters to have more development and growth. I bring this up only so I can talk about Mizuki Okiura, Date's adoptive daughter, who quickly becomes the standout character from the game. A back-talking, street-wise 12-year-old punk who forces her way into becoming Date's "partner" as he unravels an ever-growing conspiracy of politics, missing eyeballs, and twitch streamers (again, please trust me, it makes sense in context).

She also has a lead pipe she likes to beat people with.

Mizuki is the best.

She is THE BEST!

Make an entire game about her YOU COWARDS!!

...Anyways, structurally, AI plays similarly to Zero Escape, but with more adventure game elements to it. You still follow a flow-chart that branches depending on story choices you make, and you need to see all branches to complete the story. Not to keep comparing AI to the Zero Escape games (that's why I'm playing this game, so that's the lens I'm analyzing this game through; this is my essay, I can do what I want, you’re not my real dad), but unlike the Zero Escape games, AI ends on a legitimate, no-fooling, unambiguous happy ending that couldn't have put a bigger smile on my face. Sure, it was corny, but the entire game was corny, and ultimately I didn't care! I was just happy that I wasn't uber-depressed after playing one of Uchikoshi's games! It even ends on a dance number consisting of the entire cast of characters!

AI is a good time all-around!

(Except for the murders. Those are bad...probably...)

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2

Yes, this game came out last year, but honestly I don't care. I played it this year and that's all that matters. However, as I am coming to this game later than most, most of what can be said about Red Dead 2 has already been said by way smarter people than I am, so I won't retread any of that well-trodden ground. So, I'll keep this short: Arthur Morgan's journey is one of the best told story in AAA gaming to date, and never have I felt more like a rustic cowboy wandering the the old west. People harped on the sluggish nature of the controls, but I honestly liked it, as it added to that feeling of being a wandering cowboy. I took my time meandering through the the forests of Roanoke Ridge, the deserts of New Austin, and the red earth of Scarlet Meadows. There was nothing more that I enjoyed in this game than gearing up, getting on my horse and just riding aimlessly until I encountered something that catches my attention, whether that be a 3-star animal, a legendary fish, or even a dilapidated church on a civil war battlefield. I put in well over 100 hours on PS4 earlier this year, and I've put in another 100+ hours on PC, and I don't see myself putting it down anytime soon.

Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy game.

OUTER WILDS

Outer Wilds is not only the best game of 2019, but probably one of my top 5 favourite games of all time. It's hard to describe what makes Outer Wilds a truly one-of-a-kind experience for me without spoiling the ending. It's a game driven purely by exploration and discovery. Knowledge of the world and how it works is the sole "progression" system in the entire game; so much so that you can beat it in your very first first session if you happened to have the discoveries spoiled for you. Go into as blind as possible, that’s what I did and it made the experience all the more special. Play this game, you will not be disappointed.

At this point, I will be spoiling the major parts of the story of Outer Wilds, primarily the ending, because it is the thing that I have not been able to stop thinking about since I first experienced it. Be warned that there be major spoilers beyond this point. Given that Outer Wilds is all about discovery, I highly recommend you do not read anything beyond this point if you haven't beaten it. Again, play this game, you will not be disappointed.

One of my earliest existential fears was when I learned about the lifespan of stars in the second grade. I remember it vividly: sitting in class, hearing my teacher describe the stages of a star's life, going from normal-sized star to red giant, then eventually to a supernova, then explaining that will happen to our Sun as well. The dawning realization that the Sun will grow to a size that will envelop the Earth terrified me beyond anything that has ever terrified me up until that point in my albeit short life. I couldn't sleep for days without fearing that the sun will expand, consume the Earth and burn everyone I ever loved alive. It didn't matter that my teacher said it would take millions upon millions of years before the Sun ever reached this stage, this was my single-biggest fear.

Fast-forward 23 years later to beginning of June of 2019, I pick up Outer Wilds based on the buzz the game was getting. I knew the game was based around a time-loop à la Majora’s Mask, but had no idea about one of it’s biggest “mechanics,” so to speak. My first few runs in that game resulted in premature deaths, so it took me a little bit to realize that the Sun explodes after 22 minutes and envelops everything in a fiery blaze. Seeing my childhood fear unfolding right in from of me just drove me to unravel the mysteries of the universe I inhabited, if nothing more so that I could find a way to stop it. As I learned more about the ostensible precursor race, the Nomai, whom were fixated on finding something called the Eye of the Universe but perished before they could find it, I got it in my head that, if I can just do what the Nomai failed to do, I could stop all of this from happening. Every time the time loop started, I would run out into space and unraveling the mystery further and further, each time being obliterated by the sun at the end of 22 minutes (or dying in a really stupid physics-y way), getting closer and closer to finding out what’s really going on.

Eventually, I discovered enough information to accomplish the task of reaching the Eye of the Universe: I found the coordinates of the Eye, a ship with the necessary warp-drive to get there, and a power source to make it all happen. With the keys in-hand to finally unlocking the answer to this mystery, I set off on what would be my final run: I performed the necessary tasks, said one last goodbye to the Solar System, and barreled into what I would eventually learn is the quantum singularity of time and space, a.k.a the Eye of the Universe. I stepped out into a vast, cold emptiness of quantum existence that was the Eye and wondered around, looking for something, anything. After falling through what seemed to be a quantum vortex, I eventually found a museum not unlike the one you find at the beginning of the game; a museum that is part of the tutorial for the game. This museum contains a picture at the entrance showcasing the founders of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program, the in-universe space program your nameless, faceless alien character is a part of. However, in this quantum facsimile of this tutorial museum, which is cloaked in darkness save for the sole light emanating from your spacesuit, you're positioned to see the same picture you saw at the beginning of the game, only this time a new caption appears when inspecting it:

"Outer Wilds Ventures was founded by Feldspar, Gossan, Slate, and Hornfels to explore a solar system at the end of the universe."

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic when I say that: reading that caption started to make me go through the 5 stages of grief. I was immediately in denial of what I just read. “How could the universe be ending? The Hearthians just started their space program! How unfair it is for them for the universe they were just about to explore to end like that! Also, this is a video game! You’re supposed to give me the feel-good ending of being the hero and stopping the universe-ending event from ever happening!” As I explored the quantum museum more, the fact that the universe actually ending became more and more apparent and harder to ignore. Then, I recalled pieces of information I encountered during my travels that hinted (or plainly stated and I was too deluded to acknowledge them) that the universe was ending, and transitioned to the 2nd stage of grief: anger. Anger at myself for missing something so obvious and deluding myself into thinking that I could enact change on such a cosmic scale. I quickly entered the 3rd stage, bargaining, as I tried to snap myself out of it. “The game was pulling a fast one on me,” I told myself, “I hadn't reached the "end" of the ending yet, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Let’s not count all our chickens before they hatch!” I interacted with with the final prompt in the quantum museum, which transported me to a forest filled with galaxies. One by one, I watched these galaxies explode and fade from existence, until all that was left was darkness. It was at this point, I truly realized there was no stopping this, and I transitioned into the 4th stage: depression.

Through my depression, I stumbled across the dark, quantum glade to where I eventually found a quantum facsimile of myself, which no joke spooked me. Then all of a sudden, a campfire appears. The game asks me to settle, roasts some marshmallows, which I do, I guess. “What else can I do? It’s all pointless, the universe is over!” As I roast marshmallow after marshmallow, I'm eventually joined by a facsimile of the first Outer Wilds Ventures companion I met after launching into the stars for the first time: Esker. Esker (”Feskermile? does that work?”) wants me to gather all the other facsimiles of the Outer Wilds Ventures folk I’ve met during my travels and have one last campfire jamboree. Still feeling defeated and hopeless, I begrudgingly set out into the darkness of the quantum forest to find Feldspar, Gabbro, Chert, and Riebeck, along with Solanum, the kinda-but-not-really-last-living Nomai I met on the Quantum Moon. Once everyone was gathered around the campfire, they started played the tune I've heard all throughout my travels in the solar system. A melody that immediately starts flooding my brain with memories of my adventures: seeing the islands of Giant’s Deep being flung into space by a storm of tornadoes; the asteroids of Hollow’s Lantern destroying the surface of Brittle Hollow, revealing a black hole core; traversing the endless fog of Dark Bramble while dodging giant eldritch anglerfish; watching the sand majestically trade places between the hourglass twins. All of these memories and more came rushing to the forefront of my mind as I listened to the characters I’ve come to know and love play the same blissful tune that propelled me on my journey up until this exact point.

As the members of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program and the both-living-and-dead Nomai finished playing their song, a new universe is born from the ashes of the doomed universe we're all currently in, which indicated to me that this is truly the end, not just for the universe, but also for the game in general. So, with a heavy sigh, I went around the campfire one last time and spoke with every character as a way to say goodbye. It was when I talked to Riebeck, the ever-optimistic banjo player, that I finally transitioned into the 5th and last stage of grief: acceptance.

"The past is past, now, but that's... you know, that's okay! It's never really gone completely. The future is always built on the past, even if we won't get to see it."

A wave of catharsis washed over my entire being. Grief is a feeling that I never truly felt while playing a video game before playing Outer Wilds. Sure, I've been sad when I character I liked gets killed and the like, but I never experienced grief so profound like the one I felt during the ending of Outer Wilds. It was grief for a universe still teeming with life about to end; it was grief for a species that just started looking at the stars not being able to fully explore their own domain; it was grief for a species that never saw the fruits of their scientific labour; ultimately, it was grief about the inevitability of death. Abject terror flooded my mind when I finally realized that the universe was truly ending and I was powerless to stop it. But that single line of dialogue from Riebeck allowed me to appreciate what was happening. I was finally happy, not because it was truly over, but because I was able to experience everything I did up until the very end. No ending, no matter the cosmic scale of it, can ever take away the memories I had existing in this universe.

With that, I collected myself, took one last look at everyone around the campfire, and collapsed the singularity, ending the current universe and giving birth to a new one, with the clearest sense of purpose I've ever had: I was finally able to confront and conquer one of my biggest fears.

#atekasey game of the year 2019 #disco elysium #control #ai the somnium files #red dead redemption 2 #outer wilds #spoilers #massive spoilers #seriously don't read this if you don't want to be spoiled

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winking-owl · 6 years ago

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Ashes to Ashes- A Critical Role Playlist, Caleb

A hobo wizard that pretty much defines the adage don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Definitely one of my personal favorites, very interesting and complex. May you find peace, a warm cat, and a good book; small comforts in a sometimes hard world.

Ashes to Ashes- A Critical Role Playlist, Caleb

More will surely be added (I exhibited great restraint in only adding 2 songs about fire) but as always song list and reason below the cut

playlist masterlist

title- I know the title is angsty but this is Caleb we are talking about

A Sadness Runs Through Him-- Caleb’s character song, the one that defines him for me

Your World Will Fail-- “In all realities nothing is immutable, all you need is what you want” (I am concerned)

Mars-- three young prodigies

Run Rabbit Run-- Trent

Behind Blue Eyes--- this is the angstiest shit

Everything Goes Dark-- “Too busy walking out to work it out”

Blood On My Name-- “Can’t you see I’m sorry”

Soldier-- just keep going

I Need A Dollar-- always broke, why do spell components cost so much?

Renegade-- running

Carry on My Wayward Son-- I know everyone associates this with Supernatural (I watched it too) but seriously its perfect for him

Winter Is Coming-- “ But we're all out of time, nothing left to decide Pack your things up quick, this one can't be fixed, Leave the rest of it behind ” for Molly, anxiety and mental blocking of that whole thing. Just shove that in a box.

Arsonist’s Lullabye--obligatory, A part of me always liked how fire feels

Good intentions-- “Don’t care how wrong it is, I have good intentions”

Human-- “breathe in, breathe out, let the human in”

Beautiful Crime--the past, meeting nott

Present Past Future-- tone is wrong but the lyrics are good?a maybe

Little Lion Man-- regrets

Heavy Games-- “Power is an additive love”

Old Man-- “I am the element of fire, the presence of flame”

Journey of the Sorcerer-- just a good instrumental

The Dark- for Nott “in my heart your a risk I’m willing to take, but my head says that there’s too much at stake”

The Mind Electric-- the asylum (its in reverse at first, you skip to about 2;40 and its forward) (also it skips around a lot so if thats something that doesn’t work for you now you know)

The Bullet- “And I will write til my fingers they are down to the bone, Wander til I can’t remember my own home, Drink til I don’t know the meaning of alone”

Rising Phoenix- overcome

Villain Of My Own Story--i mean

Ghost Towns--My name was....

Outrunning Karma-- also pretty self explanatory

Despicable-- did we mention that he hates himself?

Moral Centralia-- “true neutral” when your too caught up blaming yourself.

The Manic-- trying to protect the people you weren’t supposed to care about from the the parts of you that they were never supposed to find out about, but they did anyway ( CALEB)

Hello My Old Heart-- Learning to let people in again

The First Hunter-- a sad but determined instrumental

Born of Blood, Risen From Ash--(did i put this on here purely for the title? yes, yes i did. ) for the spell crafter

Gallows-- L y r i c s

Fire in the Empire-- cutting the cancer out

Pluto-- you know that is? Growth

#critical role #cr caleb #caleb widogast #caleb #cr playlist #wow original content?

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shadowonaqua · 6 years ago

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Initiative, perseverance, epiphany, and trust (My thoughts on Free! Dive to the Future - Episodes 7 and 8)

So I’m finally back after a long cram session! There were so many emotions and interactions that came to light in the last two episodes, so we have a lot to cover! But first, we see a new face come to the main screen.

This is a little long, but I hope it can be a good ride for y’all!

Starting from the end of episode 6 into the start of episode 7, we officially meet Ryuuji, a wandering former swimmer coach who hates mackerel saunters into Haru’s life through Asahi’s brother-in-law. Other than Makoto, we are the first to see that Haru asks this slightly-scruffy and enigmatic man to coach him (all in exchange for food as payment... oh, how I wished for that kind of bargain to work in real life).

Now that is initiative. Seeing how the entire series emphasized Haru’s love of water and aloof attitude towards life in general, this is huge.

Not only that, Haru is getting extra lessons for the sake of Ikuya. Just as Haru’s dear friends saved him back in high school when he was lost and trapped by pressure, Haru is now extending his hand out to help Ikuya in his own way. As we find out just a few minutes later, the fact that Haru is going completely outside of his comfort zone to help a friend shows to us how much he has grown as an individual and as a friend. The current Haru knows the value of friendship, and has come to accept the huge role that friendship has on his ability to swim. We have seen throughout this episode just how strong of a swimmer Haru is, and so we must remember the journey that Haru went through to get to this stage. Although Haru may not know how lonely Ikuya is feeling since he hasn’t had a chance to speak to Ikuya in person (also, how sad is it when someone says that he or she don’t know what friends are anymore?), Haru seems to have realized to a certain extent how his swimming brings light to his friends’ lives. So, as Nao puts it, Haru must help in the best way that he can.

In life, we’re often told to take initiative of our own lives in order to achieve our goals, whether in our careers or in our personal lives. Not too often do we completely change our regular routine just for a friend, but if a friend is important enough to us, we may be more than willing to do just that. Haru has evolved into a selfless individual who is willing to go above and beyond for his friends, and in this sense he is a great role model for us to look up to. His perseverance in trying to repair his friendship with Ikuya despite the shade thrown at him a few weeks back shows a maturity that many eighteen-year-olds don’t exhibit. Furthermore, the positive attitude that Haru has towards improving his own swimming shows a growth that I am sure many of us anticipated and welcomed, for he is branching out and evolving as a swimmer worthy for the world stage. Once again, this anime is expressing the nuances of adulthood through exploration of new avenues, taking initiative to achieve our goals, and persevering through any challenges that are thrown our way. These concepts are pervasive through much of our lives, including Haru’s, and the massive improvement shown in Haru’s swimming is a testament to all the hard work he put in as he enters uncharted swimming territory for himself and for his dear friend.

(Before I continue, cue to how cute Kisumi is as he gets bored waiting for his friends to free up time, haha)

(Also, how great is Akane?! Her support for Asahi and his friends in their swimming careers is so endearing. And Tsukushi. OMG can I play with him?! Please don’t kick me in the face though, haha.)

And FINALLY, Asahi and Ikuya meet up, and that is where we first see in Ikuya’s own spoken words how confused and lonely he is. In this interaction, we notice just how much Asahi values his friends, and how he makes these thoughts so obvious to the viewer and to Ikuya. Despite years of not keeping in contact, Asahi views Ikuya as a dear friend, and he trusts Ikuya and the bond they had in middle school. Trust is a concept that Ikuya struggles with, and we could even see this come to light during High Speed! when Ikuya was unwilling to join the medley relay. Ikuya is an individual who wants to trust others from the bottom of his heart, but he also realized that his heart breaks little by little with each separation, starting from his older brother Natsuya. Since he is subconsciously afraid that all those he holds dear to him will leave him one day, Ikuya walled himself off from those around him and holds everyone at arm’s length. This makes Asahi the perfect foil to the current Ikuya, as Asahi’s innate trust in his friends and teammates are the best way for Ikuya to begin to realize that his friends are still there to lift him up.

Moving beyond Ikuya for just a moment, I want to appreciate the grit that Asahi shows towards his goals in swimming. As we hear from both himself and his sister, Asahi is cutting it close in his events with regards to times. As a former varsity swimmer myself, I know just how nerve-wracking this feeling is, as every millisecond counts in the world of swimming. But despite this, Asahi still keeps his goal to reach the world stage in mind and does not let the slow-but-gradual progress deter him. If anything, his motivation increases with each close shave that he has. For any of you who watched High Speed!, you’ll probably remember the Asahi who was hyper, overly-confident, and who did not have a clue about what self-reflection entails. You’ll probably also remember how Haru’s innate swimming ability literally made Asahi forget how to swim freestyle, and how distraught that made him. Yet, these experiences helped Asahi to mature and develop into the endearing character we know today, as he has grown into a natural leader who knows how to bring out the best in his friends (we have to give credit to Rei for giving him much-needed wise advice back in middle school, but seriously when are they going to meet?!), a more self-reflective but still-humorous individual who is aware of his own weaknesses, and an ever-growing swimmer who has never lost sight of his goals and so never gives up.

NOW WE’LL MOVE TO THE BIG MOMENT! Spoilers for Episode 8 are ahead, so if you haven’t watched yet, definitely watch first :D

Everyone is surprised when Haru and Ikuya are next to each other in the 400 IM. I mean, who wouldn’t be when the aloof main character of the series for 3+ years said that he only swims free?

And so we see Ikuya finally come to the realization that he isn’t alone. Yay, Ikuya! Considering that he is such a fragile person, the fact that Haru has once again saved him is endearing and nearly brought me to tears.

I mean, this:

And the fact that Haru is a softie who never forgets promises, even though he is sometimes not great at keeping them until several years later:

And this. I nearly cried myself:

I am so happy for Ikuya, and Haru, and all friends who are involved. Everyone who even knows an inkling of the friendship that Haru and Ikuya share know how important this moment is (and just as Asahi says, who cares if Haru lost the IM? They gained a friend back!).

We also find out just how much Ikuya looks up to Haru as he shares with the entire group what his wish was from the night he and Haru viewed the starry night sky. I mean, Ikuya wants to be a hero like Haru is to him? Just as Haru said, Ikuya is a hero even without realizing it. But above all, the greatest moment for me was when Ikuya remembered what true friendship is, and comes to an epiphany that getting stronger is not something you can achieve purely for your own sake, and that obtaining freedom can only happen when you become stronger for those you love.

I am positively giddy about how this season is portraying freedom. The meaning of freedom is different for every person. For some, freedom means to be able to choose what you want to do at any point of your life. For others, freedom means that you are not constrained, emotionally or mentally, by the unspoken rules that society places on behavior or thought. In Ikuya’s case, freedom could very well mean the ability to swim with no boundaries for and alongside your trusted friends and loved ones. After all, we see time and time again with this series that any limitation on friendships prevent these characters from swimming at their best.

So with this in mind, we see the old Iwatobi Middle School relay gang get back together, and we see Ikuya return to his old self.

Ikuya also brings Hiyori back to join the freestyle relay with him. Now if that’s not the greatest progression in character there is this season, I don’t know what is. I mean, the guy who has been moody and who swam alone for the last few years is now swimming with others? What?! I mean, that even threw Hiyori in for a loop.

And Ikuya is back to the same guy who teases Asahi’s habits and periodic idiocy:

I was also so, so touched when Hiyori realizes the power of Haru’s swimming and how it freed him, and when Ikuya remembers the young Hiyori that he met in early childhood. Hopefully we can see a more positive Hiyori in the coming episodes!

(And Natsuya, you so cried. I bet you that Ikuya is his older brother’s hero. What a cute sibling relationship!)

(But seriously, Kisumi, you’re in the wrong anime. You’re even recruiting Hiyori to join the basketball club?!?!)

Anyway, I had a blast with the last two episodes, and I look forward to see where these group of lads go with their newfound realizations, their growing understanding of themselves, and their aspirations in the swimming world.

Above all, we’re glad to have you back, Ikuya! Keep smiling as you did before!

#free! dive to the future #free dive to the future #free df #haruka nanase #nanase haruka #makoto tachibana #tachibana makoto #asahi shiina #shiina asahi #ikuya kirishima #kirishima ikuya #free!#I went on another long muse #maybe I should swim again #all the feels once again #swimming is so liberating #ikuya we're glad to have you back #rin is coming back?

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regenderate-fic · 2 years ago

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All I Ever Wanted (Is Here)

Fandom: Doctor Who Ships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler Characters: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler Rating: General Word Count: 7,900 Other Tags: Pete's World, Post-Journey's End, Emotional, Bed-Sharing, Love Confessions, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Developing Relationship

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Summary: After arriving back in London, Rose and the metacrisis Doctor have a lot to reckon with.

For FictionPenned in the 2022 WLDW Exchange.

NOTES: sigh. title from mitski i will.

anyway. this is a pinch hit for river in the wldw exchange. please pretend jamie wrote it i guess. i was kicking around a few different ideas for characters to write about since you said you could be sold on pretty much anything and then like three hours after i took the pinch hit i thought of this tentoorose idea that i realized might hit a lot of your prompt. the specific ones i took were intimacy, silent communication, expanding on characters/world, dealing with difficult emotions, and i was trying for some rebuilding mutual trust and growth and change but i'm not sure it hit. also was going for slice of life vibes but considering where it sits in the timeline it's more like the heel of a loaf of bread where everything's pretty different from how the rest of the bread is going to be. which like i guess that's still technically a slice but it's not really what slice of life refers to i feel like. anyway i hope you like it <3

The ride to London from Bad Wolf Bay takes more than a day. They take a bus and a train and another bus, Rose and her mum and this new Doctor: they would’ve flown, but the Doctor doesn't have any papers.

Rose spends the whole trip letting her head bump against shaking windows, the Doctor’s side brushing against her. They barely talk.

They're on the train overnight. Rose’s mum sleeps, snoring loudly in the train car. Rose doesn't. She's not sure about the Doctor: every time she tries to look at him, her gaze skitters away. She just keeps staring out at the blurry landscape, not speaking, barely moving.

The final bus pulls into London, and it's seven at night. Rose still hasn’t slept; maybe she dozed off, once or twice, but not enough to count.

“Your dad’s waiting for me,” Jackie says, her eyes fixed on Rose. “You’ll be all right?”

Rose glances at the Doctor. He's looking resolutely away, staring at a billboard advertising some law firm or another.

“Yeah,” she says. “We’ll manage.”

Jackie pulls Rose into a tight hug. “Come round soon, all right?” She steps back. Glances at the Doctor. “When you’ve had a chance to settle.”

“‘Course,” Rose says. “Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Jackie hovers for another moment. For a second, she looks at the Doctor like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t: she just says, “I’ll see you later, then,” and walks away.

Rose turns to the Doctor.

“C’mon, then,” she says, tiredly taking his hand. “You hungry? There’s a chippy on the way home.”

“Chips,” he says, his voice soft. His hand is heavy in hers, heavy and warm. “Yes.”

“Right.” Rose tugs on his arm. “Let’s go.”

Her place isn’t too far from where the bus has left them. The chippy is even closer, and she sits across from the Doctor in a booth lined with red vinyl, picking at her food. Normally, she’d love this: fish and chips are her absolute favorite, and an old tradition between her and the Doctor. But today she slumps against the wall, her eyelids drooping, and she can barely look at the man in front of her, much less hold a coherent conversation.

“Sorry,” she finally manages. “I know you didn’t want this.”

The Doctor shifts in his seat. He’s not really looking at her either: his eyes are still wandering the chippy, taking in the pictures on the walls, the other customers. “It’s not how I thought my day would end, no.”

Rose nods. She looks down at her chips, a lump rising in her throat. She swallows it back down. “We’ll have to get you paperwork,” she says. “You’ll need a name. Can probably get you a job at Torchwood, if you like.” She takes a bite of a chip, chews it slowly, swallows. “‘Course, we don’t have to deal with any of it tonight.”

“One step at a time,” the Doctor agrees.

“One step at a time.”

It’s dark by the time they leave the chippy. Rose keeps half stumbling, her exhaustion getting the best of her: after the fourth time, the Doctor asks if she’s all right, and she insists she’s fine.

They go up in the elevator to her flat, and Rose fumbles with her keys. It’s lucky she kept them with her, in all her jumps between universes. It’s lucky she didn’t know for sure which trip was going to be successful, lucky she didn’t know for sure whether the Doctor would actually want her back. If she’d been more certain on either count, she might’ve left her keys at Torchwood, and then she and this new Doctor would be completely out of luck until morning came.

“Right,” she says, stepping through the door, sliding her blue leather jacket off her shoulders. “Home sweet home.” She says it with a twist of irony. This isn’t much of a home at all: it’s tiny, for one thing, with empty white walls and barely any furniture in the living room. Just a dingy loveseat that the last tenants left, and a solitary lamp next to it. She’s aware of the Doctor behind her, looking around, and then she steps into her bedroom and stops in her tracks.

She closes her eyes and leans her head back, turning so it hits the wall with a thud. “Of course,” she mutters. She’s forgotten, in the haze of exhaustion, what she’s actually working with here. “I’ve only got a bloody twin.”

The offending bed sits, perfectly made, in the corner of the small, nearly-empty bedroom. It’s got a plain brown bedspread, and a nightstand next to it with a lamp and a book: on the other side of the room is a door leading to the closet and then Rose’s desk, which is maybe the only thing in this whole flat that looks like it gets any use. She’s got papers spread all over, charting her routes through different universes, keeping track of where she’s been and where she hasn’t been and what she’s seen. She has the urge, now, to sweep them away, hide them before the Doctor goes over and sees the full weight of her desperation to get out of this universe, but before she can, she hears the Doctor step into the room, feels his presence next to her. She opens her eyes.

“Sorry,” she says, for the second time that night. “I can— I can sleep on the floor.”

“No,” the Doctor says, right away. “Not after the day you’ve had. I’ll take the floor.”

Rose fixes him with a look. “Not after the day you’ve had. Trust me, I’ve slept on worse.” Traveling between universes, she didn’t always have a consistent place to sleep: she’s slept in the backs of cars, underneath bushes, in diner booths.

“Not when you’re this tired.” The Doctor nudges her. “It won’t be good for either of us if you’re grouchy tomorrow.”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Won’t be good if you’re grouchy tomorrow either. You’re human now, remember? Can’t get by on no sleep like you used to.” She sighs. “Suppose we can add a new bed to the list of things to see about tomorrow.” She turns to leave. There’s not much in the living room, but there’s definitely a blanket— and she’s not really short enough that the loveseat would be comfortable sleeping, but if she curls up just right—

“Rose,” the Doctor says, and she turns to face him, startled into looking him in the eye for the first time since the beach. He looks— disoriented, maybe, in a way she’s only seen a few times before. “What are you doing?”

“Just—” She waves a hand. “Sorting through my options.”

“I think—” He cuts off. “I mean, if you’d like—” He glances to his right, through the open bedroom door. “I wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Rose raises her eyebrows. Even during her best moments with the Doctor, she’s not sure they could’ve both fit on a twin bed for a full night. “Doctor, there’s no room.”

“I know.” He swallows, and Rose watches his face, waiting for him to find the words he needs. “But we don’t have a ton of options. And I—” He looks down. His voice quiets. “I think I’ll sleep better if you’re there.”

Rose can’t help but feel a flutter in her stomach to hear him say it. And when she glances back at the loveseat, it’s clear she doesn’t really have a better option.

“Fine,” she says. All the energy’s gone out of her body. “It’ll do for tonight.” She pushes past him and into her bedroom, opening the door to her closet and rummaging through some drawers until she finds the sweats and T-shirt she usually wears to bed. “I haven’t got pajamas for you,” she says over her shoulder. “Sorry.”

“That’s all right,” he says, his voice quiet behind her. “I’ll sleep in my trousers.” There’s a pause, and then he adds, his tone dry, “I’ve slept in worse.”

She rolls her eyes to hear her own words parroted back. She turns to see him sitting at the end of the bed, pulling off his shoes.

“Right,” she says, holding her clothes in a bundle under her arm. “I’m desperate for a shower. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.”

“Me?” He shakes his head, half a smile on his lips. “Never.”

In the bathroom, Rose turns on the shower. She peels off her pink T-shirt and black trousers. They don’t feel like the same clothes she put on two days ago, to make her last hop between the dimensions: they’re changed. She’s changed. Sure, her skin is still the same as it was before, her hair the same length, her eyes the same light brown— but she is no longer the woman who launched herself from universe to universe with nothing but a dimension cannon and a gun.

She’s just Rose, exhausted, trying her best.

She doesn’t take long in the shower. She doesn’t want to leave the Doctor alone for too long— she’s responsible for him now, another person dropped in this universe. Or— she probably doesn’t have to be responsible for him. She didn’t really have much choice in the matter, after all; she would be well within her rights to walk away, to tell him he’s got to figure things out on his own.

But— she feels responsible for him. And some part of her, somewhere deep down, sort of wants to be.

He’s been responsible for her for long enough, after all. It’s about time someone turned the tables.

She washes her hair, scrubs her body. She can’t help but think she’s washing the last of her home universe off of her. She already mourns the loss. This universe is— well, she doesn’t know what it is. She’s spent most of her time here grieving. She hasn’t exactly gone out to explore. But… it’s not familiar. It doesn’t feel like home. Maybe it will, someday. But right now it feels… distant.

She steps out of the shower and dries herself off. She hates going to bed with wet hair, but she’s too tired to deal with drying it properly tonight. So she just does the best she can with her towel, and then she pulls on her sweats and her T-shirt and takes a deep breath.

This is going to work out. It has to.

Rose goes back out into her room, half-dizzy with exhaustion. The Doctor is there, sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He’s stripped down to his T-shirt, but for some reason, his socks are still on. It’s weird, seeing him here. Rose always assumed that if she got back to the Doctor, she’d stay with him in the TARDIS: there’d be no need for him to come back here, no need for him to see the blank walls and the twin bed and the nearly-empty kitchen. He wouldn’t need to see the physical evidence of how desperate she was, how single-mindedly focused she was on getting back to him.

But now he’s here, sitting right in the middle of the evidence, and Rose is kicking herself for assuming she’d never need room for a second person here. To be fair, she’s not sure anyone could’ve predicted the “Doctor gets a human clone” turn of events, but still.

The Doctor moves over towards the wall, making room for Rose. He’s turned the lamp on; she flicks the main light off and heads for the bed, gingerly sitting on the edge.

“You all right?” he asks quietly.

Rose hesitates. “I don’t know yet,” she says, her voice quiet in response. She looks at him, this new Doctor, a man who both did and didn’t exist three days ago. He has the Doctor’s face, the face she’s spent years trying to find— and his voice, that beautiful voice, and his really great hair. He’s looking at her in the same way he always has, but there’s not a chance she’s the only thing on his mind. She turns to him, pulling her legs up onto the bed, folding them in front of her. “How about you? It’s not every day you get cloned and dumped off in a parallel universe.”

There’s a long pause. His body shifts as he angles himself towards her. “I’m adjusting,” he says. He hesitates. “The thing is, Rose, I—” He shakes his head. “You know this is what I always wanted, don’t you?”

Rose stares at him, her mouth open. Her exhaustion still hovers around her, but she pushes it away, willing herself to get through this conversation. She speaks slowly, the words only coming to her as fast as they can push through the fog that’s built up over the last few days of lots of action and little sleep. “What do you mean?”

“I mean—” He sits up straighter, gesturing with his hands. “I spent so many years wishing I could be with you. Properly. And I couldn’t, because I was always just going to outlive you, wasn’t I?” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know. I always sort of wanted to be a regular human.”

“But—” Rose shakes her head. “The travel? The TARDIS?”

“We can still travel,” he says. “If you want to. Might be slower, but—” He shrugs. “We’ve got time.”

Rose feels a slow smile appearing on her face. “Yeah, suppose we do.” She pauses. “But, Doctor— you really— you’re okay with giving all that up? Immortality, time travel? For me?”

“It’ll be an adjustment,” he repeats. “Not sure I’ve wrapped my head around it properly. But—” He dips his head, lowering his voice. “Yeah. I’d do anything, Rose. If it meant I could be with you.”

Rose swallows. She’s always sort of hoped, deep down, the Doctor might feel that way about her— the same way she feels about him. She never let the hope become too real, even as her feelings grew, even as his affection became clearer and clearer. She always knew the Doctor wasn’t the sort to get into a human relationship, no matter how much he liked the human. Really, the best she was hoping for, jumping across the universes, was that he’d be happy to see her.

And he was.

And he still is.

She looks at him for another long moment. Everything still feels strange. She never expected to have guests in this place, not least the Doctor; she never expected to have him with her on Earth, part of any kind of human life. She’s always assumed she’d be in his world, in the TARDIS, traveling.

“It’ll be a lot to get used to,” she says. “For both of us.” Slowly, carefully, she leans against his chest, resting her head in the crook of his neck. “But I think— I think I’m looking forward to it.”

His hand makes its way around her waist, and he pulls her closer. She curls up against him, and she feels the briefest brush of his lips against her forehead.

“Me too,” he whispers, and the force of his conviction would have knocked her right over if his body weren’t supporting her so completely.

He shifts, bringing Rose with him so they’re both lying down, pressed together to avoid falling off the twin bed. Rose winds up draped over him, her head on his chest, one leg flung across both of his. He shifts, jostling her, and she reaches to turn off the lamp and winds up rolling too far and losing her balance. She almost falls off the bed, except he’s there, his arm still around her waist, catching her, holding her steady. She giggles, and once she’s started she can’t stop, delirious with confusion and relief and lack of sleep. When she looks back at him, he’s smiling, and suddenly she’s hit with a complete disbelief that she’s really here in her bed with him, with the Doctor, and he’s so tangible , and— yeah, she really needs to go to sleep. Finally, she manages to turn off the light, and she curls against the Doctor’s chest again.

She falls asleep in a matter of minutes.

She wakes up to a single heartbeat under her ear and gentle fingers brushing through her hair. She sits straight up, panic running through her: she sleeps alone. She always sleeps alone. She sleeps alone, because—

“Rose?”

Oh. Because the only person she would want to sleep near isn’t with her, except that he is, and now he’s staring up at her, frowning.

“Sorry.” She lies down, rests her head back on his chest, lets his single heartbeat thud against her ear. “Not used to waking up with anyone.”

“We used to wake up together,” he reminds her. “Every so often.” They did, back on the TARDIS— mostly because she fell asleep on his shoulder watching a film, and he would’ve rather let the universe implode around him than disturb her while she slept.

“It’s been two years, remember?” Rose pokes at his chest. The jolt of adrenaline is going away, leaving her with a lovely sort of sleepiness. She nestles closer to the Doctor, and, tentatively, his hand returns to her hair.

“Too long,” he says.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t see you hopping universes to get to me.” She means it as a joke, but when he stiffens underneath her, his hand freezing against her scalp, she knows she’s gone too far.

“I wanted to.” His voice is raw, suddenly, tinged with emotion. “Rose, you have to believe— I spent months trying to find a way through. Tried to go back on our timelines. Tried to tear another hole in the universes. Best I could do was pop up as a hologram on Bad Wolf Bay.”

“Doctor, it’s all right.” Rose props herself up on her elbow, letting herself look at him properly for the first time that morning. He looks young, somehow, the freckles on his face lit by the sun as it trickles in through the curtains. Young, even as he frowns, even as he holds back tears. “It’s all right,” Rose repeats. She reaches out to touch his forehead, running her fingertips across his skin, down his cheek. “I believe you.”

He nods. She watches him swallow, his eyes studying her face, and then he rolls to lie on his side. He reaches up, pulling her down by her waist until she’s lying down facing him, their noses almost touching.

“I missed you,” he whispers. “So much. I’m probably still missing you, in the other universe.”

“I know,” Rose whispers back. “I missed you too.” She hesitates. “Why did he— I mean, the other you— why did he send us back here? If you wanted me back that badly—”

“I think—” the Doctor pauses, gathering his thoughts. “I— he— he didn’t want to get hurt. He would’ve thought it was better to lose you now, when he knew you had a shot at happiness, when he knew he needed to figure out what to do with me , than to lose you later, after years of falling more and more in love.”

“You—” Rose closes her eyes. Her voice comes out barely a whisper. “You’re in love with me?”

The Doctor stares. “Rose,” he says, full voice. “I already said I loved you. What did you think that meant?”

“Doctor,” Rose says, laughing, “there’s a difference between loving and being in love.”

“C’mon,” the Doctor scoffs. “How much more obvious did I need to get? Rose, I took you to Woman Wept. I died for you. What did you think that was?”

“I sort of thought you would’ve done that for anyone,” Rose mumbles. Off the Doctor’s incredulous look, she adds, “ Yes , I know how I sound. But still.” She prods his side. “You're the one who couldn't even say it.”

“Yes, well, I was also facing down the next thousand years of grief, wasn't I?”

That shocks the smile off Rose’s face. “Thousands of years? Surely you wouldn't have—”

“Oh, yes, I would.” The Doctor closes his eyes. “Rose, I still miss everyone I've ever traveled with. Even if I just knew them for a few days. When I start to feel— when my—” He opens his eyes, wide and earnest. “I tried so hard,” he says. “Not to fall in love.”

Rose thinks about his other self, living out the next thousand years with his grief, picking up more people to mourn along the way. A hollow feeling settles in her stomach. “I can imagine.”

“‘Course,” the Doctor adds, “it was pretty much impossible not to fall in love with you.”

That hollow feeling is still there, but now it's accompanied by a gorgeous warmth. Rose’s face tips into a smile, and she pushes closer to the Doctor, their noses almost touching. “Oh, I'm irresistible, am I?”

She watches him break into a smile. He runs his fingers along the edge of her hair, smoothing it down, away from her face, his eyes never leaving hers. She feels every touch as heat against her skin.

“You know you are,” he says, his voice low. “Caused me no end of trouble, I'm telling you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Rose grins back at him. There’s that old spark dancing in his eyes, and for a moment she’s overcome with how much she’s missed him, how much she’s wanted to see those eyes, that smile. She’s mesmerized by him, really, especially when he’s this close to her.

He nods, just once, a sharp and decisive motion, and she laughs. For a moment, they’re both laughing, their foreheads bumping together— and then Rose sits up, holding out a hand for the Doctor to do the same.

“C’mon,” she says. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us. Lots to do.” She raises her eyebrows at his T-shirt. “First thing, we’re getting you some new clothes.”

He sits up with a heavy sigh. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

“What,” Rose scoffs, “you just want to go around in the same old unwashed trousers all the time?” She shakes her head. “Sorry, Doctor. If you’re supposed to stay with me forever, you’re going to need more than one pair of underwear.”

“Well, I—” He stammers. “I’m not disputing that , I just—”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Promise we’ll find you the closest thing we can to six copies of the exact same suit.” After another moment of consideration, she adds, “But I’m also buying you at least one pair of jeans.”

He makes a face. “Never worn jeans. Not sure I’ll like them.”

“Then you’ll never wear them, and we’ll wind up giving them to a charity shop or something.” Rose bumps her shoulder against his. “But there’s a whole world of clothing opening itself up to you, if you’re willing to branch out even a little bit. You could wear casual clothes. Comfy clothes, even.”

His grimace only grows stronger. “I’m not— comfy .”

“But you could be,” Rose sings. She gets up and stretches before moving to her closet, rummaging through her own clothes until she finds a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved button down. She holds up both pieces, second-guessing, and then she shakes her head and tucks them under her arm. The Doctor always liked her before, no matter what she was wearing— surely the same will apply now.

Still. Everything feels so momentous now. Every movement feels laden with meaning. It’s not hard to believe that wearing the wrong shirt could send everything off in a completely awful direction.

Rose sighs. Right or wrong, she’s committing. She goes into the bathroom and changes her clothes, and then she looks in the mirror and realizes how much of an absolute mess her hair is. She never should’ve let herself go to bed with it wet, no matter how tired she was. She runs her hairbrush through it until it’s at least not just a mass of knots, and then she brushes her teeth, watching herself in the mirror all the while.

When she goes back into the bedroom, the Doctor is standing up, pulling on his jacket. It’s a bit rumpled, and Rose smiles to see it. He’s fussing with the buttons, but when she steps up to him and starts smoothing out the fabric on his chest with her palm, his focus snaps to her. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close, and she lets her head rest on his chest, listening once again to that single heartbeat. A part of her still expects to hear the too-quick two-hearted thumping she remembers, but this Doctor’s heartbeat is slow, steady, even as it seems strange.

She chuckles to herself. She can feel the Doctor move to look down at her, and she can imagine the puzzled look on his face as he asks, “What?”

“Was just thinking,” she says, still pressed close to him, still with her head against his chest. “It’s funny that I’m listening to your normal human heartbeat and thinking it sounds weird. By all rights, your old heartbeat should’ve sounded weirder.”

He laughs, somehow managing to pull her in even closer. “We’ve still got to adjust,” he says.

“I’m not complaining,” Rose replies. She steps back and moves to her nightstand, picking up her wallet and keys and phone to drop into her pockets. She opens another drawer and pulls out a wad of cash, stuffing that, too, into her pocket. It comes from her wages: she never bothered setting up a bank account or credit card in this universe, instead opting to take cash payments and shove them into this drawer. It’s a short-term solution, but then again, she was always intending for this to be a short-term universe for her. “Right. We should probably get going. I can check the fridge, see if I’ve got anything for breakfast, but I’ll be honest, it’s not looking good.” She looks back up at him, pulling her hair back into a short ponytail with one hand. “We can stop somewhere, pick something up.”

“Sounds good to me.” He’s looking at her, watching as she goes through the motions of getting ready for the day.

“We’ll have to stop by Torchwood,” she adds, and she picks up the no-longer-functional dimension cannon in one hand. She looks the Doctor up and down. “They’ll want to know you’re here. And they’ll be able to help us get some documents so you can start living like a person and all that.” She raises her eyebrows. “Start thinking about when you want your birthday to be.”

He tilts his head to the side. “If I say next week, will you give me a party?”

“If you want a party, just say so.” Rose takes his hand. “We’ll call it a ‘welcome to the universe’ party.” She frowns. “Although we might be a bit busy, you know, with the actual welcoming you to the universe and all.”

“Got it.” He squeezes her hand. “Save the party for later.” He grins. “Suppose technically I was born a few days ago. What day was that?”

“Could check the logs on the dimension cannon,” Rose offers. “See what day it was in that universe.” She pauses, thinking. “Or we’ll just use the day we came back through.” She shrugs. “Honestly, I’ve lost track of the days. Don’t mean much when you spend half your life in other universes.”

She tugs on his hand, and together they start walking. Rose pulls on her jacket as they leave, tucking the remains of the dimension cannon into its pocket, and then they’re out on the street. As promised, Rose leads the Doctor to a little cafe where they can get breakfast— “Still haven’t got any cash, have you?” she teases him— and then they go to Canary Wharf, where this universe’s Torchwood is still alive and well.

“Right,” she says to the Doctor as they step into the bustling lobby. People are walking in every direction, through doors set in pristine white walls, and Rose joins them, leading the Doctor to the largest set of glass doors. “We’ve just got to go check in with my project manager, and then hopefully she’ll be able to help you get settled.” She fumbles with her wallet until she manages to pull out her ID card. She scans it, and the reader flashes green, and there’s a click as the door unlocks.

“That was very official of you, wasn’t it?” the Doctor asks as they step into a wide white hallway, elevators on both sides.

“Yeah, well, I work here,” Rose replies. She steps up to the elevator and scans her ID again before pressing the up button. She glances back at the Doctor, who’s giving her a goofy grin, and rolls her eyes. “Shut up. Without this job, you know I never would’ve found you, don’t you?”

“Well, then, I suppose I’m eternally grateful.”

Rose shakes her head. One of the elevator doors opens, and she makes sure she’s holding the Doctor’s hand before she tugs him inside: she still remembers vividly getting separated on New Earth, watching elevator doors close in her face before being unexpectedly disinfected and delivered on her own to a dingy basement room where Lady Cassandra laid in wait.

The Doctor leans against the elevator wall, still holding her hand as she stands in front of him.

“Do I need to be nervous?” he asks. “I think I’m rather nervous. Why am I nervous?”

“Nothing to be nervous about,” Rose promises. “Renee’s nice, really.”

“I don’t usually get nervous,” he says, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

“You’ve never been human before, have you?” Rose counters. The elevator doors open, and they step out into the hall together.

“Suppose not,” the Doctor says as they start walking. “Still. Don’t like it.”

“No one likes it.” Rose bumps her shoulder against his arm. “You’ve just got to figure out how to deal. C’mon, this way.”

She pulls him through a hallway to their right, and then she stops at a door that reads, Renee Peters: Special Projects. Rose knocks twice, and a muffled voice responds, calling out, “Come in.”

“You ready?” Rose murmurs.

“As I’ll ever be,” the Doctor replies.

Rose opens the door.

Renee Peters has known Rose for two years now. She was one of the first people Rose met at Torchwood, after she kept asking all the people she met before Renee how she could get her hands on a dimension jump. She knows everything about Rose’s mission to find the Doctor: she’s helped with most of it. So when Rose enters, holding the Doctor’s hand, Renee just leans forward, peering at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Ah. Pete said you’d brought back a friend.”

“Yeah,” Rose says. She fishes the dimension cannon out of her pocket and leaves it on Renee’s desk. “Think we’ve got to retire this.”

Renee nods. “Why don’t you sit down?”

Rose obliges, and so does the Doctor, folding himself into one of the armchairs in front of Renee’s desk.

“I’ll file a report in the next few days,” Rose says. “Once I’ve gotten things settled. The full story is— well, it’s mad, really.”

Renee raises her eyebrows. “As mad as meeting Pete Tyler’s daughter who didn’t exist a week ago and is now demanding to speak to anyone who can get her into a parallel universe?”

Rose grimaces. She was at her absolute most desperate, when she started at Torchwood, and everyone could tell. She mellowed out a little bit after a while, but those first couple weeks were awful for her, and awful by extension for everyone she thought could help her. She’s forced her way into more than a few of Torchwood’s offices and meeting rooms. “Even by my standards, it’s mad,” she says.

“Right.” Renee leans back in her chair. “So, tell me this mad story.”

Rose does. She explains meeting Donna in a pocket universe, meeting Donna’s family in the right universe, finding the Doctor, watching him get shot. The Doctor interjects here with an in-depth— possibly too in-depth— explanation of regeneration, and the rest of the story is a back-and-forth, Rose giving a detail, the Doctor expanding, Rose correcting him, the Doctor giving off an exaggerated mock offense. Renee interjects with questions, once in a while, but mostly it's the Doctor and Rose, going back and forth. The Doctor explains the metacrisis, and Rose skillfully slips over the more complicated emotional details of being back in this universe.

Finally, they're done, and Renee raises her eyebrows.

“That's going to make quite the report.”

“Tell me about it,” Rose replies.

Renee directs them to the human resources department for the Doctor’s paperwork and the medical department for various tests and scans. Rose assures the Doctor, as they leave, that he doesn't actually have to do them, but he shakes his head.

“Aren't you just dying to know what's going on in here?” he asks, gesturing dramatically at his body.

“Suppose we'll go, then,” Rose replies.

HR is expecting them. Rose and the Doctor sit in uncomfortable chairs in front of a bored-looking man who ignores the Doctor’s jokes about not being human, technically , in favor of asking for his name.

“You going to use John Smith?” Rose asks, half-teasing.

“Er—” The Doctor looks at her, then away. “I was thinking about using Noble.” He kicks at the ground. “‘Cause, you know. Technically Donna would be my closest human relation. If we’re thinking about it in those terms.”

Rose looks at him for a long moment. There’s something subdued to the way he’s sitting, the way his eyes are darting around the room, landing anywhere but on Rose. It hits her, suddenly, that just like she’s had years without him, he’s had years without her , years during which he’s formed his own bonds. “All right,” she says. “Noble.”

“John Noble,” the Doctor adds, straightening up.

“You’re sure about John?” Rose asks. “I mean, you could go with anything.”

The Doctor leans back in his chair. “Nah. John’s a classic. Why go to the effort of finding a new name when I’ve got one right here?”

“All right, then,” Rose says. “John.”

Half an hour later, they leave, with the promise that a birth certificate, photo ID, and passport will be mailed to Rose’s address. They stop by the medical department and are told to set up an appointment, which they do: the Doctor is promised extensive genetic and temporal testing, to the best of Torchwood’s ability.

“So a tiny fraction of what the TARDIS could’ve done,” the Doctor mutters as they leave, and Rose elbows him.

“Oi, don’t be rude,” she says. “These people are just working with what they’ve got, and honestly, the technology is pretty much top of the line.”

They go back and check in with Renee. Rose promises she’ll be back at work next week, and equally that she’s going to do everything she can to bring the Doctor with her, and then she and the Doctor make their way to Henrik’s, which in this universe is completely intact.

“Still hate coming here,” she mutters as they step through the doors. “But it’s got the most options, hands down.”

“Oh, is this the same shop?” the Doctor asks, looking around. “Bigger than I remember.”

“Yeah, like you were paying attention,” Rose replies. She nudges him. “C’mon, menswear is this way.”

The Doctor is, as expected, an absolute nightmare in the shop. At first he stands away from the racks, refusing to say more than two words about anything Rose holds up to him; and then, as he starts to warm up to the idea, he starts filling his arms with just about everything in the store, irrespective of size, keeping up a running monologue about each item and what it reminds him of.

Finally, Rose manages to wrangle him into a dressing room, and she sits on a bench outside, kicking her feet as he changes. It’s a far cry from the sort of thing she was doing even a week ago, desperately jumping between universes, straining her eyes to perform maintenance on the dimension cannon, coming across countless people and creatures who wanted her dead. It’s a relief, really, to be sitting outside a Henrik’s dressing room, the most pressing concern being whether or not the Doctor’s picked out any trousers that’ll actually fit over his legs.

The door bangs open, and the Doctor steps out in a pair of jeans and a striped T-shirt.

“What do you think?”

Rose looks him up and down. He looks good , actually— she never thought to imagine the Doctor in anything but his pinstriped suit, but she’s clearly been missing out. There’s something about the way the shirt outlines his chest, the way the dark-wash jeans hang, that seems to bring out something new in him. She’s surprised by how much she likes it.

He rocks back on his heels, looking down. “That bad?” Rose realizes she’s just been staring.

“No,” she says, standing, taking two steps closer so she can smooth down the collar of the shirt with her hand. “No, you look—” She looks away, more flustered than she wants to admit. “You look great.”

“Oh.” He looks down at her, and she looks back up to see the barest beginnings of a smile on his face. “Really?”

She nods. “Really.” With a smirk, she adds, “Should’ve gotten you in jeans much sooner.”

He glances back into the dressing room. “Well, there’s plenty more where these came from.”

Rose laughs. “All right, then. Let’s see what else you’ve got.”

The Doctor disappears into the dressing room again, and Rose sinks back onto the bench. Over the course of the next hour, she’s treated to a full fashion show, featuring some of the most ostentatious patterns and poorly sized garments she’s ever seen, but interspersed with pieces that have Rose staring once more at the lines of the Doctor’s body, flushing as she realizes how completely transparent she is.

Finally, they’ve enough of a selection to clothe the Doctor for at least a week and a half, and Rose peels bills from the roll in her pocket to pay for them. They leave Henrik’s with three shopping bags each.

Back at Rose’s flat, the Doctor gets in the shower, armed with his new clothes, and Rose sits on the loveseat in the living room, her head leaned back, her eyes closed. So many thoughts occupy her mind that she can’t actually think any one of them— they just float by, disappearing the second she tries to grasp one.

She kicks off her shoes and pulls her knees up to her chest. It’s been a busy few days. There’s going to be a lot to process, once she manages to sit in one place long enough.

Eventually, she hears the Doctor’s footsteps as he comes out of the bathroom. He crosses into her room— she assumes to drop his old clothes in her hamper— and then he comes out into the living room, his hair still damp, wearing the T-shirt and jeans he tried on first.

Rose reaches up and takes his hand in hers, comforted by its solidity. He drops down next to her, slinging his arm over her shoulders, and she leans into him.

“You all right?” he asks.

Rose nods against his shoulder. “You?”

“Never better.”

Rose laughs. “To be fair, you’ve only got about four days to compare to.”

“That helps,” he admits. He draws her in closer.

“Your shirt’s soft,” Rose murmurs, her cheek against the cotton. “We chose well, at Henrik’s.”

“That we did.” He laughs, and she feels it rumble in his chest.

She lifts her head, looking at him, his eyes on her, his soft smile. There’s so much that needs saying, and Rose doesn’t know how to say it all— but she has to try. So she swallows, and she asks, “How’s this going to work, then?”

He looks back at her, his eyes frighteningly close. “How’s what?”

“I don’t know.” Rose rests her head back on his shoulder. “This. Us. In this universe.”

His shrug jostles her head, and she smiles.

“Depends,” he says. “How do you want it to work?”

Rose hesitates. “I— I don’t know yet. Is that all right?”

He squeezes her around the shoulders. “More than.”

She feels herself smiling. “How do you want it to work?”

“All I know,” he says, slowly, “is that I want to be with you. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter.” He hesitates. “Well, as long as it’s not boring. Having to wait for time to pass normally is bad enough already.”

Rose laughs. “Well, you’ve got me, at least.”

He pokes at her side. “Not going to start jumping across universes looking for the original?” It’s a joke, but there’s something real running through it, something that tells Rose exactly how much is riding on her answer.

“Nah.” She can’t pretend the thought didn’t cross her mind, during the days they spent traveling, but— “He wasn’t wrong, leaving us both here. I mean—” She knows what she wants to say, what she needs to say, but it’s all tangled up in her mind, struggling to get out. She absently reaches for the Doctor’s free hand, running her thumb along its back, feeling his rough skin, his body heat, and she speaks slowly, giving each word time to emerge. “I don’t really like not having a choice. But if he’d given me a choice, if he’d asked what I wanted, if I’d really had the time to think about it, and if I’d been choosing for myself and not for him—” She swallows. “I don’t know. I think I would’ve chosen this.”

“Really?” the Doctor asks, his voice low.

“Yeah.” Rose closes her eyes. “I don’t know. I feel—” She lets out a breath. “I feel awful for him. All alone. But— even if I went back there, I’d keep him company for maybe sixty years, and that’s if I didn’t fall into any more parallel universes. And he’d have to watch me grow old, knowing he never would. And then I’d die, and he’d be alone anyway.” She pauses. "It would've been worth it, of course, on my end. But, you know. I'm not the one who would've outlived him. So I get why he sent me here." She manages a laugh. “And what was he going to do with you? Can’t have two Doctors in the TARDIS. Two of you would’ve torn each other apart.”

The Doctor returns her laugh. “Suppose we would have.”

“So it’s better for us to be here,” Rose concludes. “Together.”

“Together,” the Doctor echoes.

They sit in silence for another moment, Rose still resting against the Doctor’s shoulder. He’s so tangible underneath her. It’s been years, since she’s been held like this, since she’s felt another body so close to hers. Years, because she was waiting for him.

“Is it—” Rose takes a breath. “Is it hard, being here? I mean— I don’t know. I’ve lived the human life before, but this is new to you, isn’t it?”

There’s a long pause before the Doctor responds. “It’s— different,” he says. “I’ve— well, technically I’ve been human before, but—”

Rose lifts her head again. “What?”

He gives her a small smile. “Long story. It’s a thing the TARDIS can do. Very different circumstances.”

“If you say so.”

“I’ll tell you later.” His smile grows, just for a moment. “I’ve got the rest of my life to tell you, haven’t I?”

Rose laughs. She rests her head on his shoulder again. “Yeah, suppose you do.”

“Anyway.” His fingers tap against her upper arm. “My point is, it’s different. This is— I suppose I’m thinking of it as an adventure. There’s loads to learn.” He turns his head slightly, and Rose feels his breath against her hair as he continues. “About this universe. About being human. About being with you.”

Rose feels her smile curling on her face. “An adventure.”

“Yeah.” For a moment, he’s silent. And then he says, “I was angry, at first.”

Rose falters. “What do you mean?”

“When he left us here,” the Doctor clarifies. “I understood why. Same brain. But that didn’t stop me from being angry.”

“Are you still?” Rose asks.

There’s another silence. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t know what I feel.” He lets out a rueful chuckle. “I’m adjusting, remember?”

Rose hums. “It’s a big adjustment.”

The Doctor squeezes her hand. “I’ll get there.”

“I want you to tell me,” Rose says. “If you’re ever feeling angry, or sad, or— anything. I don’t want you to keep it bottled up.” She pauses, considers for a moment, and then laughs. “Maybe we can find you a really good therapist.”

She can’t see his face, but she’s sure she knows the face he’s making, his nose wrinkled as if something smells bad. “Me in therapy? Can you imagine?”

“Might be good for you,” Rose says, her thumb still running across the skin of his hand. “If we could find the right person. Wouldn’t work if you had to keep secrets. Maybe Torchwood could set you up.”

“I’ll think about it.” From his tone of voice, he absolutely will not think about it, but that’s all right. Rose has years to convince him. He presses a kiss to Rose’s hair, and her smile grows.

“Are you hungry?” she asks idly. “There’s a place down the street you might like.” Her smile becomes a grin. “And then tomorrow we can try grocery shopping.”

The Doctor scoffs. “Can’t believe this is what I’ve become. Oncoming Storm, Destroyer of Worlds, now relegated to grocery shopping .”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got dramatic titles for days, and I still go grocery shopping.” Rose taps her thumb against his hand. “You’ll live.”

“That’s what you think,” he grumbles, but he gets up, bringing Rose with him. “Place down the street?”

They walk, hand in hand, to Rose’s favorite sandwich shop. Giggling, she orders for both of them, glancing at the Doctor and saying, “Just trust me.” He doesn’t argue, and they take their sandwiches to a nearby park, where they sit on a bench and watch the sun set between the buildings of London. By the time they get back to Rose’s flat, it’s completely dark out, and both Rose and the Doctor are exhausted.

“Oh, my God,” Rose says, standing in the doorway to her bedroom, staring at the unmade twin bed in the corner. “I forgot to do something about the bed.”

“We’ll be all right for another night,” the Doctor says, coming up behind her. He wraps an arm around her waist. “Don’t you think?”

Rose glances up at him, grinning. “Yeah, suppose we will. One more night.”

He changes into brand new pajamas, and she changes into the same old sweats and t-shirt, and for the second night in a row, she falls asleep with her head on his chest.

This will work out, she decides. There’s happiness to be found, in this universe— for both of them. And she’s determined to find it. (She thinks maybe it lives in the infinitesimal space between two people sharing a twin bed.)

#doctor who #my fic #fanfiction #tenrose #tentoorose #ten x rose #tentoo x rose #tenth doctor #tentoo #rose tyler #pete's world #emotional #bed sharing #non-sexual intimacy #developing relationship #long

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drippingmoon · 2 years ago

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A masterpiece.

The worst thing about writing reviews, I discover, is that you'll never be able to quite convey how much a book meant to you. Not like it deserves.

Destiny is a much thicker book than Thriving, and at the same time the shortest book I've ever read with how much I adored it and yearned for more. With thick books, you keep checking the progress to see how much more of it you have to slog through, or you keep checking it and dread the finishing line so much it's haunting you. I was the latter at all times. There was literally not a single moment when my attention wandered off, or any scene that left me cold. No, it was more like this: I went to bed at ungodly hours, woke up a few moments later at another ungodly hour. I was vibrating with just too much enthusiasm to keep reading, and anyway, we can always catch up on sleep later, right? At the 40% marker I slowed down a lot, re-reading my favorite scenes before moving on. At 70% I was already cursing out loud. Destiny effortlessly inherits the perfect pacing of the first book. If you weren't sure of it before, Destiny confirms we're very safe in the hands of a gorgeously talented writer. The best way I can describe the writing is natural and at home inside its setting and storytelling.

And this is where it gets very hard because, guys, Destiny has come to mean so much to me personally I catch my thoughts all the time going back to it. Even now, days later.

Here the clarity in the writing stands out even more, since it takes us on a journey across different planets and their civilizations. You never feel lost though, for it's as easy to read as is breathing. Which, okay, isn't the best comparison because it'll mess with your emotions so much and pull you in all directions that breathing will very much not be easy, but I digress. One particular breath-taking piece features an icy world with something grim lurking under the frozen surface. The description there drags you by the ankle underwater, and by the time you can breathe again it's pretty much over and your head is spinning from the thrill. That's an apt descriptor of how the writing in Destiny feels.

The interplanetary expeditions get very fun very quickly. Warren's just your common dude in the outer space, out of his depth but very much starting to belong to it. And even better, he forms a tight unit with his two companions, though it's not always sunshine and rainbows. But the conflicts are sources of even more growth, which is absolutely delicious.

The emotions get so much sharper, oh. The blurb promises to deepen the relationship between the two leads. I want to underscore this a trillion times over. Thriving launched me directly into the second book, yearning to see more of them. Destiny went well above that -- it's the kind of book I read so closely that when I closed it, I could reproduce entire scenes from memory without even trying. That's how precious everything was. It's very fortunate that the series is about those two, because even so I couldn't get enough of them. We get them tip-toeing around each other, one taking a step forward, the other backwards, then we've got them acting like a 80-years-old couple who've known each other since forever, who know each and every habit of the other. It's an incredible feeling that'll keep you beaming for days.

The characters

Sussa: I admit I was wary of her at first. I wasn't sure how much I'd like her involvement and what it'd mean for the series, but she turned out to be just about the most graceful character and that's honestly stunning. I dearly hope we'll see more of her after this. She genuinely brings so much positivity into scenes

Warren: he goes all out in this book, dear lord. The banter was already great in the first book, but come Destiny, my head was spinning so much from all the goodness I'm pretty much sure my neighbors were one step away from calling the police on me for laughing too much. He's an extremely easy character to emphasize with -- his frustrations are yours, his sorrows as well, and I don't need to mention the love. And when he comes up with a plan, you can't help but grip the edge of your seat in giddy delight to see what else he's come up with this time. He's out of his depth being the only human on the ship with no supernatural abilities, but he makes up for that with his sheer presence and the moments when he leaves fear behind and takes the reins. That's where he shines best. And a scene where Warren isn't featured? It's so much more dim. The narrative wouldn't have nearly as much flavor without him. He's the main lead through and through.

Thrive: Thrive grew on me tremendously in Destiny. One particular scene endeared him to me more than anything. I'm trying to avoid spoilers, but there's this gut-wretching, heartbreaking scene (you'll know immediately which one) that becomes much more than devastating thanks to how their relationship has evolved, especially on Thrive's side. It's treated with such openess, gentleness, closeness, it's raw and eye-opening at the same moment and deeply, deeply familiar. It doesn't end with the heartbreak. In an incredible feat of writing, the ending chapters take all of that pain and use it to remind the reader of all the love, trust, hope that runs deep beneath. That everything that had happened until then will always matter and give strength to the story. I'm not ashamed to admit I was crying throughout all of that. We're in very kind hands though, as the pain is given a lot of tender, respectful meaning.

The side characters, albeit having a smaller role, were very fun and distinctive nonetheless. You feel they have their own stories running in the background, and by the time the book ends, they've been pushed to change their status all on their own.

This is the kind of series this is -- it'll make you roar with laughter, it'll make you feel utterly hopeless and bawl your eyes out, it'll make you feel so much at peace it'll uplift your spirits for endless moments. For its ending especially and the increasing gentleness between Warren and Thrive, Destiny has come to matter to me so much personally.

Time for me to bow out. I'll very likely be reading the first two books over and over again until Rebirth is ready to come out, but you know what? At this point it's just self-care.

Hello, it’s me again. *rests chin in hand*

Now available for purchase: books one AND TWO of a ten-part sci-fi/MLM romance series! Help support a struggling queer Black author!

Thriving: Destiny on Amazon (paperback and e-book)!! Thriving: Destiny on Goodreads!!

A few years have passed since the events in Alaska. Warren Cougar finds himself traversing the galaxy for enough alien firepower to rid the Earth of the eliyi—with the assistance of Thrive, for whom his feelings have grown in the time they’ve been apart.

Between an ocean planet, a bloodthirsty frost dragon, a debilitating injury, and the catalysts of an intergalactic war, Warren attempts to navigate his own internal conflicts while also fighting to keep himself alive.

When the sentient darkness of the universe known as the Emmuli becomes a key player in the impending destruction of the Milky Way, however…that may be a task easier dreamed about than achieved.

Within the Thriving series, you’ll find

🪐 LBTQ+ representation 🪐 a diverse cast of characters 🪐 disabled characters and neurodivergence 🪐 an action-packed love letter to both classic and contemporary sci-fi 🪐 a slow-burn between the two main characters

A quick summary of the first five books (the M31 Arc)—

The dramatic collision of Orthrive’poliea’s vehicle with a nearby lake upends Warren Cougar’s life more than he ever expected. Along with conspiracies, intergalactic war, and tumultuous dealings with interspace politics, he has to survive a hostile alien army and a semi-omnipotent sentient darkness doing everything in their power to destroy Earth and the rest of the Milky Way—and Thrive’s native galaxy, Andromeda. Navigating their way through seemingly endless battle after seemingly endless battle, Warren and Thrive also find they must navigate themselves as well as their growing relationship with each other.

Book One Links:

Thriving on Amazon (paperback and e-book) Thriving on Barnes & Noble.com (paperback only)

#and now for the gem of the year #it was pretty hard to stop myself from spamming reaction gifs and a helluva exclamation points #but guys guys guys this is beyond incredible

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discovering-ellie · 3 years ago

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August 19, 2021 - Post Three

Okay, so after thumbing through that A to Z Self-Care Guide I got last week, I decided to buy myself a tarot deck. I found this absolutely gorgeous deck that just perfectly matches what I think my aesthetic is and, ugh, just yes.

Anyway, after trying my best to shuffle these cards, I attempted a Self-Care spread. The card in the middle is my problem, upper left is what to do now, upper right is what to do later, bottom left is what I need to hear, and bottom right is what I need to avoid.

So let's get into it!

My problem: Five of Wands (reversed). Avoid conflict, compromise, truce "Conflict is uncomfortable, however, running away from your problems will not solve anything. Nipping it in the bud can help you practice confronting the issues head on instead of shying away. In the act of avoidance, you tend to scatter your energy and prolong the conflict, making it even worse! This could also be a pattern of compromising your values to appease others. You may be feeling competitive vibes, especially from your coworkers. Listen to your gut instincts on who you can trust, as some people will not have your best interests at heart. Learn to choose your battles and if this is worth fighting for. Reserve your energy for bigger battles ahead and come to a truce to ease the situation. Sometimes keeping the peace is more worthwhile than being right." My Interpretation: Well, if this isn't an accurate fucking depiction of my problem, I don't know what is. It's no secret that I avoid conflict because of how uncomfortable it makes me and, as a result, it always makes the situation worse. I'm working on nipping my issues in the bud, but this is definitely still a battle

What to do now: Nine of Wands Wisdom, Perseverance, Last Stretch "Almost there! You can see the finish line, and at the last minute, you are faced with an obstacle. This challenge can be seen as a setback or a test of your character. Expect the worst and protect yourself against any foreseeable attacks. Better to be prepared than to be sorry later! Throughout this journey, you have accumulated experience and gained enough wisdom to handle anything that is thrown your way. You've gained tools to deal with your inner struggles and now you have confidence in your abilities to overcome and persevere. Trust in your strength and power to make it to the end. Learn from your mistakes so that you can navigate setbacks easily in the future. Challenges are difficult, but believe in your abilities to make it through. You can do it!" My Interpretation: What I'm getting from this is encouragement to continue using the tools that I'm learning to get me through my struggles as they arise. I need to keep moving forward in my process, trusting it and continuing to learn.

What to do later: Nine of Pentacles True Colors, Splendor, Vitality "Indulge yourself! You deserve it. Your hard work is paying off and you are now reaping the rewards. You feel at ease with your financial status, income, and schedule. Live loud with luxury, allowing yourself to enjoy the abundance that you've created. It is now the time to celebrate and treat yourself, whether it's buying that item you've had your eye on or giving yourself time to rest. By staying true to yourself and your vision, you are improving the quality of your life. Show your true colors by saying yes to your independent spirit and the creations you are bringing forth into this world. Acknowledge your accomplishments and what it took for you to get to this place of fulfillment and satisfaction. Rich in inspiration, connect and replenish the unique beauty that you possess and provide in this world." My Interpretation: I feel like this card is telling me to acknowledge and celebrate how far I've come on my journey. I know that I still have such a far journey left ahead of me, but that doesn't mean that I should downplay all of my efforts so far.

What I need to hear: The Tower (reversed) Warning, Fear of Change, Avoidance "Whew! You've managed to avoid a disaster, getting out of harm's way just in time. The Tower Reversed is a warning that drastic changes are on the way, however you are given time to prepare before the storm. This is an opportunity to take preventative measures to soften the blow, so to speak. There is also an indication that you are resisting change and you are doing everything in your power to avoid these unfortunate but necessary occurrences. Prolonging the situation will not help. Face your fears and accept change as a start to a new beginning. Contradicting thoughts and actions make way for a confusing outcome. Actions speak louder than words, communicating your innermost thoughts. Take risks, be bold, and put yourself out there. As they say -- go big or go home." My Interpretation: Man, this card is really calling me out, isn't it? The section about change and facing my fears absolutely speaks to me and I know that it's telling me to just do the damn thing, but there's still a lot of fear behind "the thing." Additionally, I believe that this is telling me to continue to work on my communication with others and to give actions to back it up. Like it said, I need to take risks and be bold.

What I should avoid: Two of Wands Advance, Explore, Prospects "A new world is calling your names and you are confidently stepping forward, ready to see what's next! There is an enticing path laid before you, and you have conceptualized a plan to take action and progress towards your bigger ambitions. However, you're faced with leaving your comfort zone to venture off into unfamiliar territory. The big picture is clear, and you know what you are capable of. Bold and fearless, as you step into your own personal power you enable others to do the same. Making the decision to leave the comfort of home is not always easy, but can be necessary for your personal growth. Take the risk! And have a backup plan. You will learn so much about yourself and discover the world in so many ways. As J.R.R. Tolkien wrote, "Not all those who wander are lost."" My Interpretation: This confuses me because this card seems like such a positive card full of hope and encouragement, but it's in the "What I should avoid" slot. Does that mean I should avoid the urge to NOT step out of my comfort zone and explore? I'm still very, very new to this whole tarot thing, so if any of you with more experience have any clue what this could possibly mean, I'd really appreciate the input.

UPDATE: a friend that is well-versed in tarot gave me this interpretation for the Two of Wands: Two of Wands - this meaning can be taken many ways. To me, in this slot after reading your pulls and your interpretations- i am pulled to say this:: stay your path to healing you, this is working for you now. There will be a time to step out and explore but now, just stay the course That doesn’t mean don’t explore, don’t step out of your comfort zone - as this will play out naturally. But keeping the foundation of your path and the course to the next level of healing

#self care #self care blog #tarot cards #tarot reading

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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How X of Swords Changed the Marvel Universe Future of the X-Men

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After 22 chapters, Marvel’s massive X-Men crossover event, X of Swords has come to a close, and with it, the Dawn of X era. The story touched every book in the X-Men family and brought us answers to a few of the lingering questions that were casually tossed at the audience during House of X/Powers of X. But X of Swords asked more questions than it answered. And heading into the next phase of X-Mastermind Jonathan Hickman and the rest of the magnificent team of X-Men creators’ big plan, that’s a very good thing.

To set the stage going into Reign of X, we’ve decided to lay out some of the big questions asked in X of Swords (and by the Reign of X teaser image you see at the top of the page).

WHAT HAPPENED IN X OF SWORDS?

X of Swords was primarily three stories: Betsy Braddock’s journey towards fully becoming Captain Britain; Saturnyne trying to get Betsy to accept being Captain Britain (and trying to nail her brother Brian, the previous Captain Britain); and the payoff to the Krakoa/Arakko schism first introduced in Powers of X. It did all of those things magnificently, telling what ended up being a definitive Apocalypse story reuniting him with his long lost family, and reestablishing the Captain Britain Corps of multiversal guardians under Saturnyne’s control.

Along the way, the story also gave the X-team of creators a chance to cut loose and have a blast. The setup promised what was essentially a season of Dragon Ball Super in an X-Men comic: the battle for control of Krakoa and Arakko would come down to a tournament between 10 champions for each side, with each champion wielding a unique sword. The first half of the crossover followed several heroes as they tracked down their blades, and gave us some wonderful character moments with Magik, Cypher, Storm, the Braddocks, and others.

But once the tournament started, it ended up being the fighting equivalent of Whose Line Is It Anyway – the rules were made up and the points didn’t matter. There were definitely sword fights, and when they happened they were usually excellent, but there was also a drinking contest between Storm and Wolverine, and Gorgon and Magik did a jigsaw puzzle together, Doug married Bei the Blood Moon, and Gorgon banged a boulder.

When it came down to it, X of Swords was an Excalibur story, and it honored that book’s roots by being multiversal, very silly, and full of effective character growth. And very, very good.

In the end, Krakoa won the tournament when Apocalypse defeated his wife and the Annihilation Helm in single combat. Amenth did not take the loss well, and unleashed the full might of its army on Saturnyne and the Krakoans, but they were saved three times; first by the return of the full Captain Britain Corps; again when the X-Men rode in on the once and future S.W.O.R.D. headquarters and dumped a swarm of extradimensional cyborg virus people on the Amenthi monsters; and finally when Apocalypse claimed the Annihilation helmet, and ended the battle by surrendering to Saturnyne.

And at the end, when Saturnyne demanded an exchange of prisoners (sort of) between the two sides to seal the peace, Apocalypse decided to join his family on Amenth, and in return sent all of Arakko to join the Krakoans on Earth.

MILLIONS OF NEW MUTANTS AND A NEW LAND MASS JUST SHOWING UP IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE A THING, ISN’T IT?

For some people, sure. Presumably the already tense geopolitical situation created by a new mutant nation leveraging Krakoan superscience is going to have a little more pressure added to it when Krakoa doubles in physical size and adds millions of super powered beings born and raised in (approximately) hell.

Add to that the two open seats on the Quiet Council and you have a ton of politics that need examining, something that both X-Men and X-Force have done gladly since the relaunch.

WHAT TWO OPEN SEATS?

Apocalypse’s departure to wander Amenth with his wife and kids (honestly, this crossover is God-tier just for believably turning Apocalypse into a Wife Guy) left one Autumn seat open. The other open seat came when Marvel Girl joined Cyclops in some light insubordination at the climax of the story.

The Council repeatedly ruled against outside involvement in the Otherworld tournament – the 9 fighters could compete, but they weren’t sending anybody else (who mattered – more in a second), both because it wasn’t deemed safe for Krakoa to leave it unguarded, and because death on Otherworld scrambled the resurrection protocols. Cyclops and Marvel Girl decided that they couldn’t abide by that and rounded up an enormous crew of mutants, who they brought through on The Peak to save the day. However, when Marvel Girl joined, she resigned her seat on the Council.

That leaves two open seats, and speculation abounds about who might join their ranks.

The Spring seat vacated by Marvel Girl should be filled by someone with more traditional X-Men ties. Smart money here is on Angel, with Penance being another possible addition, in part because of the teaser. It looks like the long-rumored (and subtly referenced in Empyre: X-Men) X-Corp book is finally on its way, and we know that the heads of the mutants’ non-Hellfire corporate interests are Warren Worthington III and Monet St. Croix. They would be a logical addition and a nice counterbalance to the Hellfire Trading Company, which looks like it’s about to descend into chaos as Marauders follows up on Kitty Pryde’s murder at the hands of Sebastian Shaw from before the crossover.

Apocalypse’s seat is a complete wild card. Other Autumn seats are held by Professor X and Magneto, and with Apocalypse, the three represented three pillars of mutant philosophy. It’s not immediately clear who might be a suitable fit in that framework, but an Amenthi representative does make a certain amount of sense. Some have speculated Isca the Unbeaten might join the council, but I’m not sure the mutants would want to include in private strategic discussions someone whose mutant power compels them to switch sides if they’re going to lose.

WHAT IF THAT LAST SEAT GOES TO THE SHADOW KING?

Oh yeah that would really suck. Also, he’s prominently featured in the teaser, and it looks like he might be joining the cast of New Mutants when Vita Ayala takes over. That would be very, very bad. For the mutants. For us, that’s probably some good story.

WHAT HAPPENED TO BETSY?

It’s not entirely clear. She “died” in one of the earliest battles of the tournament, and we know from Rockslide’s death at the start of the crossover that dying on Otherworld scrambles your backups. What comes out of that egg is approximately whatever a slot machine that contains all of that person’s personalities from throughout the multiverse decides to shoot out.

However, when Captain Britain died in the tournament, she shattered into shards of stained glass. Shards that Saturnyne had collected, and then as all looked grim in the tournament, she pieced them back together and resurrected Betsy, and with her, a full Captain Britain Corps comprised of all the various Betsys from throughout the multiverse.

The Captain Britain Corps, as a refresher, was created by Merlin as a group of protectors of every corner of the omniverse. They served in that function largely uninterrupted until the multiverse was destroyed in Jonathan Hickman’s massive Avengers story that culminated in Secret Wars, when the Corps was demolished in battle by the Beyonders. That destruction caused Saturnyne to close off the Starlight Citadel and led to turmoil among the realms of Otherworld, so presumably the return of the Corps is going to help with stability there.

That said, Avalon is still governed by Jamie Braddock; Sevalith is a realm of vampires and has a possibly turned Death on it; Mercator is an unknown region, but sounds like it’s governed by another reality-altering omega mutant, Mister M; and the Crooked Market is administered by yet another reality warper, Mad Jim Jaspers. And Betsy Prime (or Betsy 616, as the main Marvel universe also reclaims its original number for the first time post-Secret Wars) is apparently missing. It would seem all of this will be followed up on in the pages of Tini Howard’s stellar Excalibur.

Skipping the obvious ones that are asked in the story – what kind of drama will grow out of Storm’s theft of the Wakandan sword; can Bei, Doug and Warlock manage a throuple; what happens when arakko and krakoa bang it out; where’s solem.

DID ALL THOSE HELLIONS DIE ON OTHERWORLD?

The only book that was functionally superfluous to X of Swords was Hellions, but that’s okay because it was such a riot. Mister Sinister gathered up his team on a Quite Council-sanctioned mission into Otherworld to try and steal the Amenthi swords before the tournament started. Unfortunately, they were extremely late and couldn’t do anything to help their Krakoan countrymen. On the other hand, that was exactly Sinister’s plan.

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Sinister went to Amenth to get genetic material from the Amenthi mutants, to add to his collection. While there, he and his team met Tarn the Uncaring, Sinister’s Amenthi equivalent. Tarn unleashed his Vile School mutants on the Hellions, and absolutely wrecked them: Nanny and Orphan Maker were killed very quickly; Wild Child stayed behind to buy Psylocke, Havok, Empath, and Greycrow time to escape with the genetic goods Sinister stole; and Sinister himself is pulled apart by Tarn in the fight (it’s fine, he was a clone).

However, it’s not entirely clear where those four died or if it will have any bearing on their resurrection (Sinister is fine, he’s got another clone waiting for the Hellions on the Krakoan side of the Otherworld gate so he can shoot them before they tell anyone what happened). Also, Tarn survived, and it looks like he’s coming back to haunt this team of misfits in upcoming issues of Hellions.

The post How X of Swords Changed the Marvel Universe Future of the X-Men appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ocLZi3

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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