#anyways about don leech - *gets shot*

[londondungeon2]

how it feels to have real cool worldbuilding that i want to share but i have to stfuTM:

[barsformars]

PIRATE AU! ATEEZ

+ ot8 confessing to y/n!

setting :

wanting to escape from an arranged marriage your parents had planned for you, you sneaked onto a random ship only to run into (member of your choice; the short blurbs will be based on the fact that they were the one who found you first). you pleaded for him to let you stay and he found it hard to refuse, and therefore introducing you to the rest of the crew as the newest recruit.

a/n : anon! i know you requested y/n falling in love with them but i hope you don’t mind this tweak! also it’s a long post ahead, take your time and enjoy it!

seonghwa

quartermaster of the crew

very strict on discipline because he likes everything to be orderly

he’s no jam, wants everything to go as planned, no last minute schedule changes or he will get really annoyed

which means no chill time for the whole crew until they finish their daily tasks

the whole crew has a love-hate relationship with him because damn…. he’s really so boring but he does his job so well

purposely makes you his ‘secretary’ even tho pirates don’t do that shit just because he wants you beside him as much as possible

“I didn’t let you on board just for you to leech off our food supplies.”

You raised your head from your dinner plate to see someone standing right in front of the table, and though his face was covered due to the large fedora hat he was donning, you already knew who it was — the quartermaster, Park Seonghwa.

“You can’t even let me eat in peace, huh?” You rolled your eyes, already starting to clear the table because you knew how impatient this man was. Sure, it was past dinner time for the crew but he was the reason why you could only have your meal a mere ten minutes ago, having made you clean his cabin once more.

However, right when you were about to stand up, Seonghwa pushed you back down onto the wooden bench by your shoulders with two fingers, causing you to look up at his dark eyes in surprise. You opened your mouth to argue but stopped when he leaned down, both palms resting on the table top for support.

“You’re so dense.” Seonghwa sighed as he ran his hand through his blonde hair after taking off his hat. “Don’t you know that I hate having people follow me around?”

“Okay…” You furrowed your eyebrows, confused as to why he was being mean to you again when he was the one who forced you to be his assistant or whatever. “So, did you just fire me? Because, thank y-”

Seonghwa groans and grabs your jaw to snap your head up to look at him, but when you yelp out in pain, you notice the grip on you soften along with his expression.

“I like you, y/n.”

hongjoong

captain

very respected, as expected

pretty chill when the crew is present because “all work and no play makes joong a dull boy and i don’t wanna be boring like hwa”

still gets work done though by secretly pulling all nighters by himself to plan their routes to make up for the time in the day that he spent bonding with the crew

main reason why hwa is so strict about following schedule, hwa is the only one who knows about the late nights and he worries for joong :“(

super caring and always checking up on you to make sure you’re getting used to being on a ship and that you weren’t lonely from being away from your friends and family

“y/n, are you asleep?”

Hearing Hongjoong knocking on your cabin door, you quickly sat up on your bed to fix your messy hair, hoping that you looked presentable enough to even meet anyone. You swung the door open and was greeted by a huge grin, one that was so contagious you couldn’t help but smile too whenever you saw it.

“Ah…y/n. I was just trying my luck, didn’t actually think you were going to be awake at this time,” Hongjoong said sheepishly as he rubbed the nape of his neck before widening his eyes when he reminded himself of how late it was. “Wait, what are you doing not sleeping?”

“I don’t know, just a little homesick, I guess.” You shrugged lightly, the smile on your face slowly fading away as your eyes found its way to the floor. “What about you?”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not here to talk about my problems, I’m here for you, like always and forever.”

You felt strong hands on both sides of your shoulders squeezing you comfortingly and you let the tears that you had been holding in for so long fall.

“Why are you so nice to me?” You asked as you wiped your tears away, head still hung low in embarrassment.

Hongjoong squats down to look up at you as fingers trailed down your arms to take your hands in his, a faint smile present on his face.

“Why else? You’re my whole world.”

yunho

the energiser of the crew sorta

the one who comes up with all the sea shanties and hypes everyone during labour time

ALWAYS using that as an excuse to do a little less work

“it’s hard work to motivate everyone, okay?”

days out in the sea are never boring as long as you have him on board

ever since you joined the crew, he would help you out with your duties instead of slacking at the side using that excuse above, always keeping an eye out for you

You held your breath as you made your way down the narrow wooden plank that served as a bridge between the two ships, hoping that you wouldn’t trip and fall into the deep waters beneath you.

When you were a few steps away from your ship, the crate stacked right at the top leaned towards one side and you gasped , shutting your eyes tightly to prepare yourself for the harsh contact with the water. But it doesn’t come, someone gripping you by the wrist and pulling you back onto deck.

“Oh man, better make sure Seonghwa doesn’t know about that.” Yunho joked as he peered over to look at the crates full of food that was now slowly sinking before turning his attention onto you, who had your hand clasped over your chest. “You alright, y/n?”

You replied with small frantic nods, still a little breathless from the close call earlier on. You were about to go back to the merchant ship that your crew had just raided to move more crates when Yunho tugged at your wrist firmly to keep you where you were.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Back to work?”

“No, you’re not doing that.” Yunho dragged you back to your room, past all the other working crew members, ignoring your protests. Yunho joins you on your bed after sitting you down, “y/n, if you had fallen, I would have really hated myself for letting you stay on board.”

“Yunho, accidents happen and it wouldn’t be your fault even if I did fall.” You try to reassure him but he just shook his head and placed a finger over your lips to stop you from talking.

“y/n, I really like being able to see you most of the day but I’d much rather you be in a safer place like helping Wooyoung out in the kitchen…” Yunho says slowly as if he was hesitating whether he should carry on but you tilted your head slightly at him and he takes in a deep breath before blurting out, his cheeks flushed red.

“I really really like you and I don’t want to lose you.”

yeosang

navigator/helmsman

the only one apart from mingi that’s actually properly educated

used to be a sailor but ran away because of how poorly he was treated there despite being one of the most important crew members

due to that, he treats everyone on board with utmost respect even if they were just a cabin boy

was actually voted to be the first mate but turned it down because he’s satisfied with his role

the shyest, softest, most loving boy you could ever ask for. low-key romantic

You stood beside Yeosang as he explained how he could find the way just by looking at the stars alone, timing your nods to look like you were actually paying attention. Honestly, you weren’t interested and it was a concept too complicated for you to comprehend anyways, but you had wanted to spend some time with him seeing as to how he was working alone most of the time.

“Ahah, you weren’t listening, were you?” He snapped his fingers in front of your face when you nodded instead of answering when he had asked you a question, bringing you back from your daze. “If you’re tired, you can go to bed. I can watch where the ship is going alone.”

You shook your head and continued admiring the bright stars in the vast night sky, shifting your feet to stand closer to Yeosang for warmth. Unbeknownst to you, Yeosang stared at you in silence while you were entranced by the view. He can’t help but smile to himself at how breathtaking you looked with all the stars reflected in your eyes.

“y/n,” he called out to you softly, his voice deep yet sweet like dark chocolate, earning a hum from you. “The sky would be pitch black if a star fell everytime you do that.”

“What did I do?” You laughed, playfully smacking his arm away.

“Make me wanna kiss you.”

Yeosang gave you a quick peck on your lips as soon as he said that, completely taking you by surprise.

san

first mate

under hwa and joong to be the next quartermaster/captain because of how capable he is

also very respected by the whole crew for being courageous, caring, skilled and humble

always enthusiastic to learn new things

can be a little stubborn sometimes tho, like he would get into arguments with hwa about which treasure was worth keeping

also not a fan of punishments, thinks it’s better to just reprimand them

as a first mate, i feel like he would be under alot of pressure to work hard and all that and so he wouldn’t openly tell you he likes you just because even if y'all got together, he would be too busy to keep you company and he wants to be responsible for his words uk

San patted your back as your body was slung over the edge of the ship limply, your guts violently throwing everything out after you had a few shots of vodka too much. With one arm slung over your shoulders, San walked you back to your cabin room and tucked you in bed.

It’s not that you were in danger on the ship, but San couldn’t bear to leave you alone in your room, vulnerable to any harm that could come your way. And so, he stands at the edge of your bed with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at your sleeping figure, sighing as he contemplated whether he should take this chance to confess. You probably wouldn’t remember, which was exactly what San wanted because he didn’t think he could go another day keeping the secret to himself.

If you could even remember what San said that night, you would wish you hadn’t gotten so drunk.

“I love you but I hope we stay as we are now, not any closer nor any further.”

mingi

doctor

used to work in town but decided to join the crew because he likes exploring and going on adventures

very friendly

most of the time he’s just roaming around the ship with his medical kit because he hates staying in the infirmary alone

but because of that, it’s also kinda hard to find him when you need him because the ship is pretty big

sometimes he forgets he has people to attend to and just daydreams as he looks out at the sea

he’s always following you around secretly so if you ever fall sick or injure yourself he could come running to your rescue, he thinks that would make you fall for him and he’s not very wrong tbh

“Never.”

You held your hand up when Mingi pulled out ginger, cut into thin strips wrapped in paper, from his briefcase to help you with your sea sickness.

“It works wonders, trust me. It might taste bad but it’s better than feeling like shit for the whole voyage.” Mingi advises as he picks a strip up and dangled it in front of your face, motioning for you to open your mouth and chew on it.

Reluctantly, you do as you were told but kept only a small portion of it in your mouth as you nibbled experimentally. Even then, the taste was so sharp and strong that it made your whole face cringe up which ended with you sending a death glare at Mingi for laughing at your facial expressions.

“Have you ever tried this?” You asked through the gaps of your teeth, the ginger strip still hanging from your mouth.

“Well, I don’t have sea sickness so, no-” Mingi drops his medical kit onto the floor and bends down to meet you at eye level-“but I wanna try?”

Mingi takes the other end of the ginger in his mouth and bites on it, his lips fastly approaching yours and you try to back away in shock but he holds you in place by grabbing the back of your neck. You squeezed your eyes shut when he tilts his head so that his high straight nose wouldn’t crash into yours and you expect a softness on your lips but Mingi stops just an inch away.

Smirking, he bites down on the ginger and pulls it out of your mouth with his teeth by taking a step back.

“You’re unbelievably cute, y/n.”

wooyoung

cook

but since it’s not really cooking and just preparing the food since they rarely got any meat, he has a lot of free time on his hands

so he just goes fishing alone at the back of the boat while reflecting upon life

definitely not his dream life coz boy is wild and this is too peaceful for him

but when night falls and yall are drinking away, boy oh boy

also will peer out of the kitchen window whenever yall were carrying out raids

has an exclusive stash of the best ingredients just for you and he doesn’t even try to hide that fact, always serving you the best right in front of everyone’s salad, quite literally

“Woo, you need to stop doing that!” You whisper-shouted at the boy, having noticed the dirty looks the other crew members sent your way as he scooped a ladle full of chicken soup into a bowl, which no one else had, and hands it over to you with a bright smile. 

“No need to worry about what people think, darling.” Wooyoung winked as he waved his hand dismissively before turning to the crew member behind you and scoffing,”I’m the cook, I cook whatever I want for whoever I want.”

The others move along the line with a loud sigh to show their displeasure after receiving their same old miserable lump of pickled vegetables, beans and sea biscuits but you stood in your place, feeling too bad to take the bowl of hearty warm soup. The crew had been sailing for months already and any meat is precious, but here Wooyoung was, saving it for you and only you. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Woo, everyone else is working harder than me…you should give them some too.” 

Wooyoung stops handing out the food to look at you, pointing the tongs at you as he playfully chided you for discrediting your own efforts and hardwork ever since you boarded the ship. “If I say you worked hard, you worked hard.”

“Especially with how you’re running around in my head all day long.” Wooyoung mumbled under his breath before going on with his work, shooing you away to the tables.

jongho

master gunner

used to be part of the navy but got captured and brought on board

doesn’t actually hate his situation as much as he first did because he loves how democratic the pirate society is

no more bossy superiors who constantly abused their powers

the youngest member of the gunner team but the most experienced so

quick-witted and mature, joong really treasures him and trusts him to make his own decisions when they’re in the midst of trying to disable another ship to raid

is still a baby but because of his job, he’s always trying to appear tough, but that’s not the case at all when he’s with you.

You narrowed your eyes as you climbed up to the crow’s nest where you noticed Jongho standing and looking out into the distance, the winds strong and the sun blinding. It has been a rather peaceful day with no sight of any other ships that could potentially be a target of your crew and you guessed that Jongho had nothing else to do.

“Punishing yourself?” You joked, already feeling a little sick with how much the rotational movement of the ship was amplified up here, and Jongho whipped his head around.

“Very funny, y/n.” Jongho replied dryly as he extended a hand to help you up the last step. “I just like how light-headed I get up here. It’s like drinking but without the bitterness and the long-lasting effect of a beer belly, you know.”

You shook your head lightly and smiled to yourself. Jongho never fails to amaze you with the way he thinks, always throwing you back everytime you thought you finally understood him.

“Well, do you need a shoulder to lean on? Because you better grab it quick, I’m heading down in a few minutes before I throw up on everyone down there.” You said, patting your shoulders. Jongho nodded softly and immediately wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggling his face into your neck, taking in your scent, causing you to chuckle. “I said shoulders, Jongho.”

Jongho doesn’t budge from his comfortable position and you feel him breathe out on you. You didn’t need to see it for you to know that he had broken into the gummy smile that you loved so much and so you just let him stay there, your arms hugging him back.

“This is why you’re my favourite, like ever.” Jongho said softly as he closes his eyes and leans deeper into you.

[wafflewarriors]

Never Fear (The Winchesters Are Here)

Chemical Attraction

Dean flashed you a cheesy grin. "You did good out there tonight. Proud of you." His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, but he still seemed mostly sober.

He was checking out the group of women up at the front of the bar, who wore more revealing clothing than you dared.

You envied their confidence. Sometimes you wished you had the grit to do that stuff.

Dean didn't fake reluctance to leave you or Sam. He knew what he wanted, and he knew how to get it. When he finished his drink, he made his move, leaving the table, and you and Sam with it.

The younger Winchester smiled at you awkwardly. You could tell he wanted to leave as well—he and some girl at the bar had been making googly eyes at each other since he walked in—but was conflicted on leaving you.

"Sam," you said impatiently. "That girl has been giving you the eyes since we walked in. And don't think I don't see you sending them back. If you don't get up now, I'll push you over there."

You were glad that women weren't assuming you and Sam—or Dean—were together; it made everything much less complicated. Both of the Winchesters were way out of your league. You were more likely the sister they never had.

He was a little surprised, and a little amused by your attitude. "Oh, really?"

"Don't test me," you joked.

He laughed, collecting his jacket and walking away.

Your deluding smile fell from your face once you were alone. Bars were usually their choice of festivity, but they mostly just made you uncomfortable.

You were now alone, as both of the boys hit on some chicks and snuck off to get laid. You were used to it. It wasn’t your ideal celebration, but if it made them happy, you'd bear it. You supposed they just assumed your interests matched theirs. Even if all you wanted to do was go home and sleep.

Anyway, the faster the Winchesters both left with broads, the faster you could leave. It was just that simple.

You sipped your whiskey that Dean had paid for. It was strong, and hard to swallow, but in small portions it was tolerable. You appreciated the gift, even if it wasn't your preferred drink. Dean had a big heart, and you wouldn’t ruin your sweet moments with him because you were feeling picky.

You let your mind wander to a darker place.

You were still coming to terms with hunter life. And from what you've gathered, it was cruel, unfair, and thankless.

The Winchesters didn’t sugarcoat it, either. Everything that society looked down upon—the suspiciously cult-ish tattoos, borderline or over-the-line alcoholism (a line you were uncertain where Dean fell), and cheap clothing with leather jackets—was a signature of a hunter’s life. Not to mention the trigger-happy hands, suspicious glares, and their off-putting, dark looks.

It opened your eyes.

That "gothic" girl you saw in your neighborhood? That might have looked like a satanic tattoo, but it was actually an anti-possession tattoo that she got because she was terrified of the demons that wanted to kill her. And those knives in her pocket and backpack? That was for her safety, and probably yours, too.

Or that shady alcoholic up the street? Werewolves brutally murdered his friends, and he has to live with the survivor's guilt. He drinks while obsessively researching how to hunt them down. Though he'll likely die of a failing liver before ever taking on the pack.

The point was…

Looks weren’t always transparent.

And, well, you were everything hunters weren't.

Your pain tolerance was pathetic, for one. Tattoos? Big nope. You hated all things needles, and despite tattoos looking cool, you liked to avoid pain, thanks.

Second, your wardrobe. As if that wasn't blatantly obvious.

And, last, you were a hopeless lightweight. A few shots and you were tipsy. Dean thought it was hilarious.

Still, you drank your whiskey, feeling guilty that you hated it.

You were tired. It was dark out, and you could already feel the whiskey in your system. You just wanted to go home.

So the last thing you expected that night was for a guy to hit on you. You, feeling unlike yourself—and very drunk—warily flirted back.

He was charming. Thing was, with your buzzing vision, all you noticed were his eyes and handsome smile. You didn’t notice the more important things, like, say… the roofies dissolving in your drink.

Too bad you hadn’t—because you wouldn't have let him breathe down your neck like he had been… or breathe at all, for that matter.

Your words slurred, and you leaned into him when he stood. "Hey, hey, h-hey, mister. Wheeere ya' goin' off to?"

You were smashed.

You didn’t feel too hot, either. You were practically dangling off his shoulders as he helped you from your chair, and your stomach churned. "I don' feel so guud…" you slurred, keeling over to vomit on the pavement. Huh. You were outside?

You made out two shapes that looked dubiously like him. Albeit one may have very well been a trash can. "Yeeuur kindouf prr...retty."

He snickered, though you weren't sure what was so funny. "Just let it sink in," he said. "It's okay, babe."

What was he talking about? You frowned, troubled. "Doe… don'ttt… calmeh that."

There was only a muddy sense of direction. You fizzled in and out of consciousness, and your memory escaped you.

You were completely at this man's mercy.

///

You woke up feeling like hell. The lights… the sounds…it was all too loud.

Your head felt like a crushed soda can. You turned—inch by inch—trying to get a view of the entire room, tied up—which, yeah, was a big red flag—and leaned awkwardly against the wall. When you finally saw behind you, you met the eyes of multiple other women in your same predicament.

The previous evening was a haze. Your mind was still catching up with the present, much less the past.

Something in the shadows of the room moved, and you watched as two figures loomed over an unconscious woman covered in dark, bloody bites around her neck and chest.

"Vamps," you spat. But it came more like "vamffptss" through your gag with a few lisp-y expletives.

They spun around, smiling to themselves. A vampire crouched down to your level, taunting you, "Ah, so there is more to her than a pretty face! Who would have known? Are you a hunter, babe?"

A memory clicked as he said that. You might say it rang a bell—an alarm bell, anyway—but you couldn't place it. His voice was bouncing around in your head and it was hard to focus.

"Sssgrew you."

He stood, gave you a smirk, and drove his foot into your abdomen. Hard.

"Wow. I mean, you were a little feisty at the bar, but I never would have envisioned you'd have so much kick." He winked at you, then turned back to his goonies. "Alright. Ship 'em. Mark the pretty ones. They'll be worth more."

You puffed, still recovering from the harsh blow, as a skinny redhead yanked you up by the ropes. He was watching you like one looks in a microwave at their meal.

You thrashed. It was a weak move, hardly knocking him back on his heels, but it was also a minor triumph.

Then said vampire punched your throat, and all smugness disappeared.

The lead vamp turned to see the commotion and erupted, "Are you kidding me? Christ—get the gag off her, will you?!" When the others looked at him in alarm and skepticism, he barked, "She’s no use to us dead! Do you want her suffocating?"

Carrot Top worked the gag from your aching jaw, and you just laid there, winded, like a dead dog.

The Lead Vamp grabbed the shirt collar of your redhead attacker. "Hey, maybe don't punch 'em in the throat next time. They're gonna squirm a little—it's what they do. So ignore it."

"Yessir'."

"Good. And, hey, guys—bag the ugly ones. I got a client for them."

You coughed, propping yourself up by the elbow. You were concerned. Am I ugly?

The redhead vamp kicked you down by your arm, hissing, "Not you. We got a special guy for you. Likes the fighters."

You were so tired and weak and helpless. Couldn't do anything but lay there. You could only watch as the other vamps manhandled poor, terrified women.

"Leeches," you said, earning you a foot to the face.

"Do yourself a favor and shut up."

It was hard to not comply. As your head lolled, you spat blood at his feet. You would not go down easy.

He hauled you up, and his punch cracked like a whip.

You stared at his bloody knuckles, feeling your own arms twitch. The ropes were loose. You wondered briefly if you could even run—

Another strike had your vision swimming with stars.

"Hey. I got a question—huff—" You said, taking the punches like a champ and distracting him. "Has anyone ever told you—uff—that you look like—guh—Strawberry Shortcake?"

The ropes worked off your wrists and when he swung, you ducked—or fell, more like—away from his swing. Breathless, you pulled yourself to your feet to run.

The adrenaline was really the only thing keeping you going. Thing was, adrenaline didn't give you accuracy, it just gave you strength. And little that strength was.

And, woah, was the ground spinning. You gagged as you watched the hallway sway. You were not in any shape to run, but you sure as hell tried to. You stumbled down the hallway, your knees giving out multiple times before you couldn’t pick yourself up again.

The vamp's yell echoed down the hallway. "You're not a hunter anymore, little lamb! You're the hunted!" It probably wouldn't take much for him to follow the sound of your hummingbird heart.

That was enough encouragement to get anyone on their toes. Even someone who was shaking like a leaf.

Whatever roofie they'd given you, it was enhanced. Everything was so hot and bright and loud. You wished the world could just be quiet. Your heart was beating so loud you could feel it in your teeth.

You clambered to the exit, reaching for the doors to push them open.

Just then, a hand pitched you backward, pulling down on your shoulder. You yelled out, petrified.

"It's me, it's just me," Dean whispered quickly, easing you through the door, around the corner, and to where Baby was parked.

Your heart was still jack hammering in your chest as he pulled you in for a hug. You were high as a kite on adrenaline.

"Been looking all over for you." The pitch in his voice was more stressed than usual. You were like a little sister to him.

You leaned into his embrace. It was warm and solid and safe. And it was exactly what you needed to ground yourself.

"He drugged me," you blurted. "He drugged me. I couldn’t—he just—"

He paled. "Did he touch you?" When you paused, his expression darkened. "I'll rip his lungs out. I'll kill every single one of them. I'll—"

"He didn't touch me," you interrupted. "Not like that." You rested your forehead against his chest.

"Thank god."

"But I think they would've." You practically melted as he smoothed your hair down. "They're human trafficking. Selling women as blood bags."

Dean turned to Sam, who was leaned up against the Impala, and nodded at him. Sam took that as his cue to go ahead without Dean. "I got Sammy on it right now. You sure you're alright?"

His arms around you were the only thing keeping you standing. "Just tired. And my head really hurts." Gunshots went off behind you, and you flinched. Your ears were still sensitive.

"Sounds like nothing a little sleep can't fix." Dean patted your back and opened the back of the Impala.

You crawled in and fell asleep before Dean could even pull out of the parking lot.

"Let's get you home," he breathed.

[strawbewwysamurai]

Soba is a Dish Best Served Cold [Sanji | Soba-Mask fic | Chapter 1]

Rating: Gen  Warnings: Canon typical violence  Characters: Sanji, The Straw Hat Pirates

The Straw Hats stop on an island to relax and refresh after their adventures in Wano, but after hearing about some dark happenings nearby, Sanji decides he'd rather skip resting, and don a certain caped costume once again, looking to help those who need him instead.

-----

Sanji took one careful step over towards the edge of the roof he was currently standing on, crouching down slowly to perch there, the very tips of his boots sticking out and over the side as he peered intently down over the cityscape below him. It was both noisy, and quiet. The sounds of the city still roared this late into the night, from people shouting gleefully or drunkenly at each other in the streets, to dogs barking as people passed the alleyways they hid in. Yet the night somehow made it feel so much more quiet than any shouts in the day, and Sanji couldn’t tell if it was just the still of the darkness, or if it actually was quieter, no matter how intently he listened.

He was looking, well- listening, for something, anything really. A suspicious figure making their way down the dark alleyways and backroads of the city as they spoke hushedly on a transponder snail, a commotion caused by a robbery or an attack of some kind, or even just a scream for help that echoed through the barren streets that night. Anything of the kind would be enough to move him from his perch and into action, looking to help whoever should need it.

The Straw Hats had stopped here on this booming and bustling island earlier that day, looking for some sort of refresher after everything they had been through in Wano Country just mere weeks prior. Goodness knew they needed it, after dealing with what they had there, and no one had had any qualms about taking a slight detour on their way to the next island.

Leaving Wano had been bittersweet, of course. It always was. Saying goodbye to those they had sailed with, who they had fought with, and had befriended through their journey was painful, as usual whenever they made new nakama on their many misadventures, but it was also tinged in the sweetness of accomplishment and how they had achieved their goals on their journey, and that they had befriended those along the way in the first place. It was all another step to making their captain the Pirate King, and every one of them were grateful to be a part of it.

Yes, they all loved the excitement and chaos of a good adventure on their journeys, but a good few days of relaxation and avoiding mishaps was always a good thing to have in between.

Well, it would be, if Sanji were to actually relax...

Yesterday, Nami had found this city-filled island on the maps along route to their next destination, and had adamantly decided they all needed a break after Wano at such a place that promised rest and relaxation, and boasted it’s seemingly endless restaurants, spas, and shopping. It was blindingly obvious that Nami’s intentions weren’t just to get everyone rested up for the next adventure, but rather to bargain and haggle her way into bankrupting half of the shops here. But none of them would dare to argue with her or call her out on it.

Besides, they all needed to stretch their legs up and away from each other for a bit, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity. And everyone had done just that as soon as they had docked earlier in the afternoon, with Nami heading for the spas and shops, Zoro looking for a tavern with Luffy, and Sanji himself separating from any of the little groups to head to the food market by himself.

He was in search of things they needed to stock up on before they set sail again next, or refillings of little treats that everyone enjoyed having on the ship. It was his job as the chef to ensure everyone could snack happily, and he was also looking forward to possibly finding local ingredients that couldn’t be found anywhere else. He loved figuring out new recipes to go with them whenever he found something new, and the new flavors were always so exciting.

He hadn’t been in the markets long though, before he caught onto a few whispers.

It started out with just a few whispers, and concerned looks in his direction. The faces of people trying to figure out who he was, who the brand new face was. Normally, Sanji was used to it, given how many little island towns they had stopped at over the years together, but here it just felt- out of place. It was a big city, not a small town. Why did it feel like everyone was trying to figure out if they had seen him before or not?

Admittedly, it wasn’t just him. He noticed the distrusting glances traded every now and then between other market goers, and it did nothing but worry him just slightly. He could sense something was going on in this city, and he wasn’t sure it would be anything good from what he was finding.

It was only a bit later on in his shopping did he hear any sort of firm information as to why everyone was looking so distrusting at one another.

“Here you go sir! That’ll be five hundred berries.”

“Thank you, mademoiselle. Please, keep the change~”

“Aww, why aren’t you sweet!” She blushed and waved a hand at him as he laughed and took the bag of fruits from the stall girl. She was adorable, and as per usual, Sanji was falling fast. Peppy and sweet, she had thrown in an extra apple for free if he’d promise her he’d try an apple tart recipe she had given him during his browsing of her stand. He wondered if he’d be able to have a drink with her later that night, and decided the question at the very least was worth a shot.

“One more thing, miss-”

She looked back up with him with a smile and a tilt of her head. “Ah, yes sir?”

She was adorable- A face covered in freckles was framed in fiery curls that were held back by a forest green bandana, both complementing the greens and reds of the apples and other fruits she was selling, with a slightly muddied dress to match. She would occasionally wipe her hands down on the apron she had tied around her waist, though Sanji wasn’t sure what she was wiping off, or if it would even help given all the flour that had taken up residence on her apron. He found it entirely endearing, nonetheless, and had found his latest crush in her. He took in a slight breath before he popped his question.

“I was wondering if you would be so kind as to join me for a drink sometime later tonight. You could pick your favorite place, and it would be my treat.”  

“Ah!” She exclaimed, her demeanor changing suddenly. Her smile fading, she was no longer peppy, she wrung her hands together once and let out a nervous laugh.

“Honestly, sir, I wouldn’t advise going out too much at night if you can help it. What with everything going on lately…”

He blinked at her once, barely processing the rejection over her slightly concerning choices of words before he shook his head slightly with a laugh. “My apologies miss, but I’m mostly just passing through here, so I’m not very aware of the local happenings. What would be so wrong in going out for a drink tonight?”

“Well… There’s been quite a few… attacks lately…”

“Attacks?”

"Yes sir, attacks." She let out a sigh with another wring of her hands. Sanji hated to see her so worried, but he had wanted an explanation as to why the whole city seemed to be so distrusting of each other, even more so than others they had stopped at in the past, and it was looking like this was his best bet at getting an answer.

“Have people been getting badly hurt?” He pressed gently, trying his best not to upset her, but actually get information at what was even going on. She shook her head.

“Um… I guess you could say that, but… it’s usually much worse…” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t think one person who’s gotten attacked has made it out alive, at least to my knowledge.”

Sanji gaped slightly, a chill running down his spine.

“Not one? Then how do you know what’s causing the disappearances? I mean-” He shook his head and waved a hand lightly. “Not to doubt your information, just to question the-”

“Because the local law enforcement always finds puddles of blood with some sort of belongings that belonged once to the now missing person, or people.”

Sanji went silent after that, unsure of how to respond or even if he should after hearing something like that come from such a frightened lady’s mouth. He had his explanation, though. And he knew he wouldn’t like it, not based on the looks people gave around the city and the way they had been carrying themselves, but this was a completely different level. Possible murders or brutal kidnappings? That was the work of disgusting people and pirates that riddled the streets of gambling and port towns that were meant for such leeches, not a city that boasted about it’s leisurely activities and shopping districts.

Something sinister was patrolling the shadows, it seemed.

He would admit, he didn’t see himself as one who got involved in situations like this by his own choice, not at all. The very life of a pirate was living side by side with danger, and ignoring the fall out from such. That involved not helping everyone he would come across on every single island they would stop at, no matter how docile or hostile the island was. His nakama would laugh though, claiming there wasn’t a person in the world he wouldn’t drop everything to help, and no matter how much he threatened to not let them have dinner that night or snacks that morning, it did nothing to deter them from cheering about how weak he was for those who needed help, and how kind his heart was because of it. Not even he could help but smile, throwing out more empty threats as they always carried on despite it all.

Besides, the stall girl seemed quite distressed anyway, and who was he if he chose to ignore a woman’s sufferings?

“And is there… a certain area of the city where most of these incidents are taking place?” He questioned, trying to seem casual but it was probably obvious right now what he was doing regardless. “Maybe a corner of the city that whoever has been doing these things has been hanging out in more than other areas? A home base, so to speak?”

It took her a moment, he’d give himself that. But her jaw slowly dropped open as she realized what he was questioning of her.

“You’re… you’re not seriously thinking about going out and finding out who’s doing all of this, are you?!”

He shrugged, nestling his paper bag of fruit into the crook of his elbow.

“I don’t know, I just thought it’d be nice to see the city during the few days I’m going to be here, and would rather avoid the less safe and tasteful corners of the neighborhood.”

“Has anyone told you how awful of a liar you are?”

He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face in the next second. Oh, if only she had seen him throughout his years as a pirate- how much he had lied to their enemies faces and gotten away with it so smoothly- To the point where he was right behind Nami and Usopp in terms of who could lie the best and get away with the most.

“No, never, mademoiselle~”

She only continued to stare back at him, almost disbelieving of what he had just asked her a moment ago. So slowly began to shake her head as she lifted a hand to the bridge of her nose.

“Right. Sure. A random man who claims to be new in town wants to take down a possible serial killer that no one, not even the local law enforcement, has any clues or leads on yet. Wonderful. Wow, Bea, you’re really about to tell him aren’t you?”

“Well Bea, I would first like to say you have a beautiful name befitting of such a wonderful young lady-” Sanji began, his smile only growing bigger as he gave her a little bow, careful not to spill the contents of the bag he held. “- And secondly, if I were to, say, take down a possible serial killer that no one, not even the local law enforcement, has any clues or leads on yet…”

He held his right hand out to her, and waited to continue until she had given him a confused look and put her own hand in his. He kissed the back of her hand lightly before looking back up at her, a smile still ever present as he spoke again.

“Would you be so kind as to join me for a drink sometime later this week?”

She let out a groan slowly, but a smile began to form across her face despite it as he let out a laugh before finishing his sentence.

“You could pick your favorite place, and it would be my treat.”

She just watched him for a moment, trying to read him in some shape or form, before she shook her head defeatedly, a few curls escaping her bandana as she did so with a smile.

“Look, if you’re so willing to recklessly chase someone who’s somehow managed to take so many lives, be my guest. But don’t you expect to play hero and then come waltzing back here to take me on a date without actually catching the guy and making it out alive.”

“Oh darling, trust me, I don’t ‘play’ hero.”

“Sure.”

“So.” He straightened up, letting go of her hand as she gently pulled it back away. “Where are most of the crimes happening? Is there a general area I could look?”

She gave a hesitant shrug. “Most of the cases I’ve heard have been happening on the south side of town, near the far port. There’s taverns there for any sailors or pirates to stop in and it makes for good business usually, except lately with everything going on.”

“And you’re sure it isn’t just some pirate activity going on? Bar fights with innocents getting wrapped up into it all?”

“There’s never any bodies, just blood and something belonging to the victims.”

He rubbed his goatee as he thought it over. It was the perfect place to do whatever the culprit was doing- choosing an area that was both usually busy and also a bit shady. A place where pirates and sailors frequented, coming and going so much that the local authorities would assume at first that the culprit of the crimes was a passing pirate, and that there wouldn’t be any need in locating them in the first place, given how quickly they would have left the island after doing something so horrible as what they had if they were even slightly smart.

He could only hope that everyone had caught on that this wasn’t just a passing pirate anymore, not after how often it was happening long after the criminal should have escaped after doing what they had. This was someone who was here for a long haul, or a resident of the island themself. And if it was the former, Sanji needed to catch them quickly, in case they were on the ending half of their stay here or risk losing them.

And the taverns… That just ensured drunken victims and witnesses to entangle themself with. Less likelihood of them getting caught should they slip up if no one was in the proper state of mine to identify them in the first place. At the very least, this person- or people- had been smart enough to think of a good location to do what they were doing. He would just need to be smarter in order to catch them.

Easy enough.

He gave Bea another smile before adjusting his paper bag once more and giving her a little wave goodbye.

“I think that’s all I need, thank you mademoiselle~”

She stared at him once more, before rolling her eyes with a smile.

“Sure, well, good luck with your little murder mystery, sir. Please don’t go dying as well, alright? You actually seem sweet, and I’d hate to see you in the paper tomorrow for any other reason besides being crowned a hero for taking down the perpetrator.”

“Sweet you say? Why, you flatter me, my dear!” He laughed, taking a step away as he began to leave. “The name is Sanji, and I hope to hear you exclaim it tomorrow when I come back here to take you out for drinks that evening, alright?”

She watched him walking away, nodding at him as he did so, so he could leave with an answer to his flirts at the very least. She could only hope he would cower away from what was going on by nightfall. He seemed like a nice man, and his eyes were nothing but kind.

Sani, however, was confident. He’d dealt with emperors of the sea, Marine admirals, and warlords of every shape and form. He’d faced greater threats than most, and even faced his abusers again for the sake of his true family. It would take more than a street criminal to make him cower from a fight, much less when a date with a lady was at stake, or the lives of whoever else this criminal planned on taking too in the future should Sanji not stop them here.

He wouldn’t be cowering anytime soon, no. That much was obvious. It was simply a matter of how he was going to go about tracking down the guy, and taking him down…

He had a bit of an idea as to how, though.

-----

His wait in silence on the city rooftops ended abruptly, the moment a piercing scream echoed through the alleyways and reached his ears.

He jumped into action, quite literally, off of the building. The scream was coming from the direction of the port and taverns, and he hadn’t seen anyone go by for a while now, which could mean very little witnesses to what was going on, much less credible and sober ones. He needed to be fast, or else whoever was causing the scream, and whoever was doing the screaming, would be gone before he could get there.

The cold air bit his cheeks where they weren’t covered in his mask as he jumped, and the wind whipped by him as he fell. It was a free fall- He hadn’t yet activated his boots, or made any attempt at sky walk, and there was no need to. Falling was faster, a more direct route to get to the source of the screaming, and yet somehow- it was as if time itself slowed.

He could never place it, not when he dropped from sky walking, and not when he first dropped from flight when he had first donned the raid suit when fighting against Page 1. It was a freefall, and time moved slowed for the mere seconds it would last, seeing as he never got high enough for it to last any longer. The world was unmoving for the time, and the stillness held a calm unlike any other he had experienced. His entire senses were somehow both screaming out all at once, and not there at all, his heart beat pounding once and then nothing, not until his descent was complete.

He wondered if any of the others felt this way whenever they jumped from high places, be it Luffy launching himself off of something headfirst into adventure or a fight, or Chopper jumping from a floor up to change forms before mowing down an enemy or join the others in whatever fun they were having. Maybe it was just him, just Sanji who felt this strange sense of calm wash over him in the moments before he caught himself midair and stuck a landing, or launched back into flight.

Whatever it was, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the feeling of the fall, and he enjoyed the moment that seemed to last forever, yet in reality only lasted a second or two before he would flip around and catch himself, dashing off in the direction of the screaming as fast as his suit would take him, to save someone. To solve what was going on. To help someone who needed him.

Who needed Soba Mask.

[saltbaek]

Intimate Kitchen

Originally posted by exoturnback

Genre: Fluff (boyfriend!Baekhyun)

Word count: 2.2k+

Remarks: My very first one shot as saltbaek! The original piece was only around 1k written several years ago for my friend before I revamped the whole thing and lengthened it a few days ago. Pretty cliche but I thought of sharing it with you guys something longer since I’ve only written several drabbles so far! Hope you guys like it! ( ˘ ³˘)♥

As the sun rises, rays of sunlight pierced through the curtains, slightly lighting up the room in a golden yellow shade which gives out a sort of romantic feel. Groaning in your sleep, you shuffled around on the bed and tried to touch the area next to you, feeling no warmth much to your disappointment. You lazily opened one of your eyes in a frown to peek at the space beside you. Empty. You tried looking around the room. No sight of your sweetheart. You even tried to sit up sleepily and perked your ears to listen to any sound of him around in the apartment but the only thing you hear is the sigh that left your lips. You’re too lazy to wake up still, so you snaked your hand to your phone on the bedside table to check whether if he left you a message. As if on cue, your phone vibrates and lights up, signaling a message notification, from the love of your life. You grinned at his timing and giggled as you read the message.

Good morning my big baby ;) I went out with Lay to have some morning tea! Will be back so soon before you even start missing me!! ^^ Love, your Hyunnie.

You can't help but to smile even wider at the message. Even with small gestures like these, he is able to make your heart flutter. The amount of things that Baekhyun can do to you, like really. You look at the time on your phone before putting it down onto the bedside table again. It’s only 9:30 in the morning. The birds are chirping outside and you briefly wished that you were as cheerful and motivated in the morning. You feel like a piece of steel and the bed is a really, really strong magnet. You’re not tired, just lazy because the bed just felt so comfortable, the chirping birds outside like an ASMR, the refreshing morning breeze setting your room in the right temperature to go back to sleep. The only thing that can make your morning even more amazing and perfect is the supposedly warmth beside you, provided by your Baekhyun who and which you got so used to. The space beside you felt so empty currently. You miss him already. He probably decide not to wake you up this morning because of how late you stayed up last night to finish your work. Usually when you wake up from your slumber, especially on weekends, you will be met with a pair of brown, warm eyes which will turn into little crescents upon your sleepy gaze courtesy to the huge boyish grin on Baekhyun’s face. Determined to start the day (and stop being a lazy ass), you got up and walked to the toilet to start your day. After brushing your teeth, washing your face and even taking a shower, you dried your hair and tied them into a messy bun. 

You put on one of Baekhyun’s Supreme hoodie, embracing his scent. It is so oversized for you to the point that it stretches down to just above your knee. You looked into the mirror with a satisfied face, turning around after successfully donning the hoodie on. Wearing his clothes is definitely one of your favourite habit(?) or whatever you call it. Not like your boyfriend minded anyway. In fact, he personally thinks that you looked better (he called you hot while biting his lips so) in his clothes than him. Cheesy bastard. Deciding to make a light scrumptious breakfast of ham and cheese omelette for the both of you, you padded slowly into the kitchen to prepare the ingredients. You’re about to start cutting the ham when you heard the door beep.

“Honey, I’m home!!” hollered Baekhyun from the entrance shamelessly. God, you sure hope your neighbors aren’t planning on murdering your loud and obnoxious man. But then again they seem pretty in love with your man either, if the heart eyes from the aunties aren’t telling enough. Sometimes, they even bring him extra side dishes. Who can you blame though? Baekhyun is naturally a sweet talker, endearing, attractive and his whole being basically just screams ‘LOVE ME!!!’ to be honest at the very least. “Me too, ho- Ooof!” Yixing hollered after Baekhyun without missing a beat. Or at least, tried to. He almost succeeded though, until your man elbowed him in the ribs, sending him one of the nastiest glares ever that says something along the lines of “I dare you to ‘honey’ her.” Yixing grimaced in pain, groaning while rubbing the sore spot and muttered ‘possessive bastard’ under his breath. He looked like a kicked puppy in pain especially with the pout evident on his face. Hearing how chaotic the scene is at the entrance, do you really want to know what happened? You asked yourself and nope, never mind. You’re too occupied with preparing the ingredients so you just rolled your eyes and shook your head a little, mumbling a half-hearted ‘welcome back, baby’ to acknowledge them. You know you won’t be left alone anyway.

You’re right when Baekhyun wrapped his arms around you firmly from behind, back hugging you amidst of cutting the ingredients. He dipped his nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent before sending butterfly kisses all over your neck and finally placing a loving big, loud smooch on your cheek. It’s ticklish, so you tilted you head a little, giggling. “Baek, you’re distracting me.” you whined, trying to pull an annoyed face even if you’re having a hard time with all the little kisses he constantly places here and there. “And you smell so nice.” Baekhyun grinned, lips still not leaving your skin. “Anyway, was that Yixing earlier?” you ignored his remark, trying to change the topic. “Awwww, isn’t my baby so smart? Yeah, he’s just here to lend the toilet by the way.” he praised you, sending you even more kisses, not even bothering to explain more. Seriously though, aren’t his lips tired? Especially from all the talking and kissing? Not that you’re complaining, really, just genuine curiosity.   

“Ewwww!!! My eyes!!! Shit, I need a new pair!!!” Yixing shrieked all of a sudden, hand flying to cover his eyes, having witnessed the Baekhyun’s PDA towards you after he’s done using the toilet. Baekhyun closed his eyes in aggravation. Of all timings, that guy had to cockblock now. He secretly contemplated whether punching him in the face or kicking him in the ass would be better. Before he get to reach a final decision, Yixing spoke up first (thank god). 

“Okay, okay, chill bro, I am leaving now alright! Sheesh! Greasy hot tempered ass.” he said, backing away, both arms raised in defeat, the last sentence said in a significantly lower volume to avoid immediate assault from the your (aggressive) man. “See ya! And you too, sweetie” he waved to his friend and you before getting pushed out of the apartment by your boyfriend. Said man just slammed the door in his face after muttering a rushed bye before heading into the kitchen to where you are again. Yixing snickers behind the door, deeming a success in annoying Byun Baekhyun. You can almost imagine him pumping his fist in the air. You’re pretty sure Yixing’s feelings are not hurt in any way though. They’re really great friends who goes years back so if anyone were to understand Baekhyun as much as you, it would be the guys, Yixing included. They know how protective (and clingy) he is over you and they never, I repeat, never, miss any opportunity they can get to annoy him. He kind of deserve it though considering how annoying he is himself anyway. You’ll be the first candidate to live to tell the tales. At least he’s adorable. In meantime, you’re not sure whether your boyfriend is a human or a leech, octopus even, seeing as he is wrapping his arms around your waist as soon as he is close enough. 

“That wasn’t very nice, Baek” you chastised before turning your head and kissed his cheek as he hummed in response. 

“You can’t deny he didn’t deserve it.” he said, shrugging with a smile so innocent you temporarily forgot about what you were actually reprimanding him for. How dare he use this against you when he know full well how effective is it? Wait, no, he obviously used this because he knows how effective it is. Cunning as hell. He returned your kiss at the side of your lips, making you grin, the both of you staying in the back hugging position while you’re still trying to focus on cutting your ham. Of course, your ever attention demanding boyfriend couldn’t just stand still or quietly. Wanting him to do both is close to impossible. Quiet? Still? Baekhyun? Those 3 words should not and cannot be in the same sentence. Nope. 

“Stop cutting me, it hurts.” he pouted as he faked pain, putting a hand over his heart to be more dramatic. The cogs in your brain are turning and you rolled your eyes when you understood what he meant. 

“Wow, Baek, that joke is as old as you. Since when did you become a ham instead of bacon? I didn’t allow this transformation. I also wasn’t notified.”  you inquired, a brow raising. He smiled sheepishly, grabbing your wrist, making you drop the knife on the counter and turned you around gently. He placed your hands on his chest before wrapping his around your back. It’s cheesy but he thinks the both of you fits perfectly like puzzle pieces. His gaze on you is intense, full of adoration and love for you, your gaze towards him too, is nothing less. The both of you held the eye contact, spotting shit eating grins on both faces. If any of the guys were here you will probably hear a loud “Kiss already!” or “Get a room!” or even something along the R-rated lines that should be buried under the carpet. That is until you saw a glint of mischief in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Actually, maybe I’m a piece of cheese, or butter and because you’re so hot, I lost count of how many times I’ve melted for you.” he teased. Uhm, what the absolute flying hell did you just hear? Not the first time he had rendered you speechless but his level is increasing in a pretty rapid pace. Instead of popping his bubble like you usually do, you decided to play along today. You smirked, eyes sparkling the same mischievousness but Baekhyun’s glint in the eyes is turning confused, nervous even. 

“No, don’t you dar- aahhh!” he almost finish his statement before breaking into strings of melodious laughter, accompanied by your evil laugh (not sorry). Baekhyun is not that ticklish, but spending so much time with him means you have that much of time to find out all his weak spots. You quickly dashed for the living room after the assault, running for your life with your munchkins legs (as he like to call you). Needless to say you’re not able to get that far until he catches up with you, locking you in his grip of love. You tried flailing your arms or reaching for his weak spots in an attempt to escape only to fail miserably because he rendered you helpless as he caught both of your wrists in his grasp firmly. You make a mental note to distract him from going to gym and stuff him with lots of food after this. Going to the gym yourself is totally out of the list because you’re a lazy ass and that’s too much hard work. Yikes. He easily swung you over his shoulder, carrying you into the bedroom before laying you down onto the bed gently. He landed beside you with a soft thud, both of you chuckling from the little battle the both of you had earlier. He turned to his side to face you with a grin on his face, eyes crinkling. You do the same after catching up your breath.

“I think we should continue where we stopped last night. Shall we, kitten?” Baekhyun asked suggestively, wiggling his brows. The shade of red on your cheeks deepened while his smile widened. You rolled over, laying on his chest, looking at him with a grin, head slightly tilted. He met your gaze, eyes holding so much affection for you. He crinkled his nose and leaned closer to you giving you an eskimo kiss, rubbing the tip of his nose on yours before pecking your lips.

“Stop that, you’re so cute.” he chuckled. At the sound of his quiet laughter, you followed suit. He take this opportunity to flip you over before sprinkling your face with lots of kisses, each one firmer and louder than the previous smooch. Dragging the trail of kisses around your face and ending it on your lips. Once. Twice. Thrice. And the fourth time, his tongue swiped your bottom lip, asking for the entrance that you granted without hesitation. The innocent pecks became a passionate lip locking session, tongues dancing together as one. He pulled back reluctantly after sensing that you’re out of breath, eyes dilated.

“I love you so much, Baek.” you mumbled on his sweet lips, sighing, hands tugging his thick brown locks.

“And me, you, my love.” he replied. And the next time they express their love towards each other, it is not through words but action. And you know, with such good morning, nothing will go wrong. 

Except your abandoned ham. Oh no.

[omnybus]

2017 Dream Sketches Ep. 2

This one’s a dream I had just last night. It’s a kinda-sorta three-parter. Well, less of a three-parter and more like three different things happening at once. It was a visually vivid dream, but I remember very few clear-cut details, as the dream seemed to be shuffling through different scenarios in different ways, as if the dream was unsure of itself or something.

Anyway, here’s the sketches!

“The Adventures of Dunwich”

The dream was mainly about two different TV shows that I was watching “at the same time”. Sometimes I’d be watching it, sometimes I’d actually be in it- you’ve all probably had similar dreams like that. The first show was a live-action historic comedy show called “The Adventures of Dunwich”, which starred a short Conquistador-type character named Daniel St. Joseph Dunwich (”And Don’t You Forget It!”, as his catchphrase was). He was a Don Quixote-like character, with delusions of grandeur, a huge ego, and constantly getting into trouble for fighting people he perceived as “Enemies of Spain” or trying to take over random places, like a public park or someone’s kitchen. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t even in the military of any kind. He also had a sidekick who was basically Fezzik from “The Princess Bride”.

The show was rather low-budget; the sets were decent enough, looking convincingly like an old generic European town, but the camerawork looked like it was shot with a crappy VHS camera held very unsteadily.

“Skeleton Cave!”

The second show was a stop-motion animated show called “Skeleton Cave!” (with the exclamation point). The show revolved around the lives of three purple skeletons named Nasty, Brutish, and Short, all of whom lived in a big cave. All three of them loved video games and tabletop RPGs, with their antics often revolving around them.

The only skeleton I actually saw was Nasty, an antisocial, deadpan snarker-type fellow who collected and painted figurines. The other two, Brutish and Short, would often go on joyrides in their camper van either to shop for more games or just goof around. A running gag on the show was that they would always crash their van through the cave, usually knocking over just one of Nasty’s figurines, causing Nasty to flip out and smack them upside their skulls with whatever large comedic object was handy.

Just a heads up before we go down further: the next one is probably kinda gross.

.

.

.

Okay, here it is. The last thing I remember in my dream was looking down at my own arm,where this weird tumor-like thing was growing. It was dark purple and felt very “tight”, like it could burst open at any moment, but other than a numbness in my arm I didn’t feel any pain. The weird leech-like thing hanging off the side was a tube of flesh reaching from the top to the bottom of the growth. It was was engorged with blood like a water balloon, and constantly pumping blood throughout the growth. I knew I had to get it removed, but I had to be careful, as a single cut or rupture would cause the whole thing to burst open violently and I’d bleed out in minutes.

The funny thing is when I actually woke up, I realized that I was sleeping on my arm and it had turned numb as a result.