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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago

Note

Wait cql lawyer/law school AU

i got you my pal dont worry!!

law school, im gonna be honest and say i know like nothing about law or law school so pls ignore any inconsistencies or inaccuracies

lwj goes to law school and he is definitely the top student in his class. they’ve been there for like a month and everyone already knows he’s gonna be the best

his one and only competition is this dude called wei wuxian but lwj isn’t particularly worried about him

so far they’re still in the stage of the course where they do the fun things to sucker people into doing the class for the semester so there’s been some practise debates and arguments and stuff in their tutorial classes

wei wuxian has that Charisma and like yeah all of his arguments are perfect but also he has an amazing smile and people are like yes i can trust him

(he’s definitely the sort to be like hm, the easy way to argue this case would be to quote some laws and use precedence to justify this but that’s boring)

lwj is also good at that sort of stuff because his arguments are perfect and everything is so perfectly researched that there should be no ground at all for someone to lodge a counterargument

(wei wuxian manages somehow and it makes lwj so mad)

but that’s whatever lwj thinks,, a lot of people join law thinking it’s gonna be like the tv shows and books and then get completely blindsided when it comes to the rote learning part or like the actual laws

and for all of wwx’s confidence, lwj hasn’t actually seen wwx so much as touch the textbook/s and he always studies in the law library so he knows that wwx has probably never even been there bc he hasn’t seen him even once (why’s he looking? bc he needs to see which books wwx uses to study,, bc there has to be something going on there,, obviously)

then they do their first like proper written assignment and lwj and wwx tie for the highest scores and now lwj has a Rival and he refuses to lose to someone who thinks that putting a ‘-us’ sound at the end of a word makes it latin (did wwx say habeas corpus and then point at a soft drink and go sprite-us can-us,,, maybe,,,,)

anyway! lwj and wwx are kinda rivals for the top spot and it’s one of those situations where one test lwj wins by a point but then the next test wwx gets full marks and they just keep exchanging the top spot in class

and this whole time wwx is like The Worst to have in class. he’s always interrupting to ask questions or just straight up not listening and spends the class doodling pictures of rabbits (they’re cute but wwx is terrible and he’s not allowed to make cute drawings)

so after a few months the most horrible thing happens.... they get put together in a project and lwj is like ugh. internally of course but his face is also saying ugh

the first time wwx and lwj get together to work on the project, lwj is prepared with a proper list of tasks to do all nicely split up between the two of them and a schedule for when they should get certain parts done by.

needless to say, lwj does not expect wwx to be ready, but wwx is definitely on top of things

he rocks up and is like yeah let’s do this, this and this and have them done by this time - basically proposing to do everything that lwj has already written down

and lwj is pleasantly surprised and is like hm maybe i misjudged wwx and decides to like re-evaluate his opinion on him

in doing so he realises that when he’d never seen wwx studying, it wasn’t an exaggeration at all. he’s never seen wwx so much as touch a textbook or spend more than a minute on a laptop doing something that wasn’t minesweeper or solitaire

but wwx is also making all of their deadlines and even adds extra information and resources to their document that could be useful elsewhere and sometimes he shows up to their study sessions and he looks absolutely exhausted

eventually lwj manages to get the truth out and wwx is just like yeah it’s easier to get worse grades than a genius but if you both study and you still get lower grades, it’s not easy,, for jc or for me

so wwx usually studies at night when his brother is asleep and lwj is like that’s bad, you can’t keep that up and just when wwx is about to go off at him lwj is like you can come study at my place

and thus begins the wonderful time where everything is alright and lwj falls in love with wwx

they work really well together and wwx is strangely considerate and nice? when he finds out lwj likes rabbits, he goes out and buys bunny post-it notes for lwj and starts to always bring him a doodle of bunnies every time he comes over. he always gets his work done on time, early even, and his work is always so brilliant and every time wwx smiles at him, lwj feels warm inside etc etc

for a long while lwj is like yes (: this is friendship (: bc he’s never had a crush before but then on the day they submit their project wwx is like hey,, the two of us make a great team,, we should always work together,, now and next year and even when we graduate,, i want to help the innocent people who need our help and i think i’d like it a lot if you joined me and lwj has his oh moment

they get a perfect score on the project of course and even after it finishes, wwx keeps coming over to lwj’s place to study or just hang out and lwj is just falling more and more for wwx each day

they’re best friends now and everyone gets used to seeing them work together on projects and then turn around to try and decimate each other when they’re working one on one and lwj thinks that he might just be the happiest he’s ever been

but then one day wwx doesn’t show up to class. it shouldn’t be strange but wwx has never missed class even once and he ends up hearing from lxc who heard from jgy that wwx was caught sabotaging some other student’s work (the other student was jzxun, who had a fondness for playing devil’s advocate and other than wwx once telling him that his argument was shit, wwx never spoke to him or seemed to know who he was but lwj is a bit too angry to remember that)

he manages to find wwx outside of his dorms as he’s moving out and he’s just like why did you do that? and wwx is like oh y’know,, bc he’s not really sure what’s happening himself,, one second he was at the top of his class and the next he was being brought before a board and being told that he was being expelled but he’s not going to tell lwj that bc lwj would definitely try and stand up for him and then they’d both get expelled

but lwj is furious and just spits out well if our dreams meant so little to you then maybe it’s a good thing you failed now,, bc his mother was a lawyer who took all these little jobs that helped people who actually needed the help and lwj was looking forward to doing that with wwx and he doesn’t even seem to care that now they can’t do that

wwx flinches and then smiles at him and just cheerily says, that’s me and leaves. he doesn’t look back and lwj doesn’t chase after him.

lwj doesn’t see him again for years (you can do 13 or 5 or however long you feel like)

lwj is a fully licensed lawyer and he’s working for the family company and he spends half of his time working on cases and uses the rest of his time to do like outreach programs where he goes and visits schools and runs sessions on what it’s like to be a lawyer, how to apply, and to provide assistance to any students who decide to study law at uni

and then at one of these programs he meets this kid, wen yuan, who is ridiculously bright and enthusiastic and has a smile that seems oddly familiar

at the end of the second session he comes up to lwj and is like mr. lan, is your name lan wangji? and lwj just says yes, expecting the kid to be a fan of one of his cases or something but then wen yuan is like oh wow! i thought i recognised you from my dad’s photo!

and lwj isn’t expecting much but he asks what the photo looks like and wen yuan pulls out this photo from his pocket and lwj immediately recognises it,, it’s the only photo he has of him and wwx

your father is wei ying? lwj asks him and wen yuan is like yes, hesitates, and then asks, would you like to see him?

and that’s how lwj finds himself following wen yuan to some dinky little office that has a plaque outside that reads wen and wei

(wen ning is the nicest and sweetest person ever and lots of people underestimate him but then he’s an absolute monster on court. he gets up and completely decimates the opponent and then at the end is like (: it was so nice to meet you!! i am baby!! and all that,, you know our boy)

anyway they walk in and wwx turns to greet wen yuan but then he sees lwj and is like woah! you! and he’s not sure whether to hide or go and hug lwj so he just gives him a fist bump,, like a bro,, and immediately wants to shrivel up and die

anyway they get the reunion stuff out of the way, swelling music, tender wrist holding, lots of staring, lwj silently declaring his wholehearted love for wwx and refusing to believe rumours about him again even though he doesn’t actually know what happened, you know how it goes

from wwx’s side of things,, after he got kicked out he went to some small uni. good in its own right but not known for their law program and ended up specialising in family law

the first case he ever won was for the wens to have the right to keep custody of a-yuan and the first case wen ning ever won was to let wwx adopt a-yuan bc i’m soft like that

so wwx has just been kinda vibing,, being a single dad, living with the wens and helping to make that difference he always promised he would

now this isn’t gonna be some au where lwj goes oh my! i must give up my high salary job and work with wwx! bc lwj has been doing good stuff at his current job and for all of his family’s stuffiness, they run a fair and just company

but! he does end up helping wwx when wwx gets a letter with a bunch of information about the jins and how they’re actually super corrupt and evil (big surprise,,) and how wwx was maybe definitely framed bc he was doing some casual work on the side and stumbled across some bad shit on the jins back in uni

lwj ends up being the one to take the case officially but wwx is definitely the guy leading it and so lwj ends up spending most of his time at the wen-wei office

lwj definitely bonds with wen yuan, who also wants to go into law, and writes him recommendation letters and helps him edit his applications and stuff

(and one day wen yuan is like leaving you was the hardest thing dad ever did and i dont think you appreciated how much he cared about you. he really did think that he annoyed you ‘til the end and lwj is like no! he didn’t! and wen yuan is like yeah i know but you gotta tell him and lwj really does mean to but the time is never right or something like that but also wen yuan is all but calling lwj dad at this point)

anyway they end up going to court, side by side, working as a team just as they promised to do and just as they finish their final day on the case, ended with the jury ruling jgy guilty and wwx’s reputation all but saved, wwx turns around and flings himself at lwj

is he crying? is he laughing? a bit of both tbh but wwx ends up confessing right then and there, still on record and everything (is that how that works??? idk! let’s say it does)

and what can lwj do but make out with him?

did a news crew come in to film the results of this massive court case just to end up with five minutes of wangxian kissing?? maybe! but when it played on tv it meant wwx and lwj didnt have to actually tell anyone they got together

(and does lwj eventually pop the question using wwx’s bad latinification? yes and wwx is too busy laughing to accept at first but he does and they end up being the worst possible tutors for wen yuan as he goes through law school bc they keep being all gross and lovey-dovey and acting like law school is the most romantic place in the world)

#mdzs #Anonymous #modao zushi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #all of my understanding of law comes from the pelican brief which i read over 10 years ago and one seminar on law courses at uni #so sorry if it's bad #):#lan sizhui #also i stand by wen yuan #let him keep his last name!#my aus #asks

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bexterbex · 5 years ago

Text

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 49

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. Tag lists are closed

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother, but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda Spellman

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 49: Playing Dress Up

You were woken from your sleep, by a kiss on the lips. You opened your eyes to see Kylo dressed in his usual uniform. “What time is it?”

You hear him chuckle, “It is time for you to get up Kitten. Your ladies-in-waiting will be here at any moment. I have things I need to attend to. So this is goodbye until dinner,” said Kylo who then left down the hall and out of your chambers.

A few moments later the door opened again, Adlez and Olivia-Rose were followed by the lieutenant, Cardo, and Ushar. You went to meet them.

You heard a distorted wolf whistle, “Looking good Pet,” said Cardo ogling you. You immediately crossed your arms in a failed attempt to cover yourself. You could see the lieutenant turning red and averting his gaze. Olivia-Rose rushed into your dressing room getting you a robe.

Adlez let out a loud gasp and turned around to face him. “That is no way to speak to her.” You could hear the anger and authority in her voice. They were almost chest to chest as Cardo challenged her.

Luckily Ushar threw his arm in front of Cardo pushing him back. “I can speak to her how I want,” replied Cardo.

Once your robe was firmly secured around you, you approached the group. “No, she is the Supreme Leader’s match, you must treat her with respect,” said Adlez.

Cardo puffed up his chest once more, pressing against Ushar’s hold on him, but you spoke before he could respond. “Especially when the Supreme Leader has already reprimanded you for such in my presence once before. Shall I call him down,” you ask with a tilted head and cocked eyebrow. You were not going to be playing my horse is bigger than your horse this morning.

You heard Ushar release a distorted laugh, “Lady Ren has got a backbone Cardo, you better not test her. I like her too much.”

A smirk found its way to your face. You watched as both of them backed away, to go stand near the door. Adlez gave one last humph before turning around and assisting you in your dressing room and told the lieutenant to wait in the dining room.

Once the door shut behind you, Adlez quickly joined Olivia-Rose in getting you ready. “How did last night go m’lady,” asked Olivia-Rose.

“Better, he learned some new boundaries. Like keeping his hands above my clothes.”

Both of the women laughed at this, to which you smiled in response. Their hands expertly taking care of you, dressing you in a similar relaxed outfit as yesterday morning. This time your hair was done in a casual elegant style, very old Hollywood. You could tell that Adlez was an expert in this style.

“Now that he has learned this, you can use it to your advantage m’lady. Teasing him and using any additional privileges like a bartering chip,” said Adlez.

“I like that idea. Although I may occasionally extend my favors as I wish.”

“Obviously, the Dark Lord is a handsome man. If I were you it would be very hard to keep my hands to myself,” said Adlez, finishing putting on a necklace for you, while Olivia-Rose applied your makeup.

“I have really tried to refrain from touching him anywhere else but his head. I might lose my battle with him as it would be too much for my brain to handle, and we might cross my imaginary boundary,” you replied. “Also, why did he choose you for me, if he was going to know that you would be helping me mold him into my will?”

Adlez let out a laugh, “He chose me because of my experience, my ex-husband was a diplomat on Corellia. Unfortunately, because the First Order took over his and my position were cut, and I no longer needed to be married to him. We are better off not married anyway. And because of this position, I now have access to a bunch of eligible bachelors onboard,” she gave you a wink. You saw Olivia-Rose blush at this too.

“I wouldn’t know about the selection you have available, just promise me you two won’t get into too much trouble. I already have my hands full with the Supreme Leader.”

Both of them laughed at that. You all got up to go have breakfast, the lieutenant was waiting in the dining room for you as were Cardo and Ushar.

“Would anyone like anything while I order? I know to get you a coffee lieutenant.” You looked around to everyone.

“Coffee for both of us m’lady,” said Olivia-Rose referring to Adlez. Both Cardo and Ushar shook their heads.

While waiting for your food to arrive Ushar asked, “So what princess lessons are on the agenda today?” He turned his helmeted gaze to your lieutenant. Who swallowed back a lump of fear before responding.

“Lady Ren is free until her lessons after lunch. After they are finished she has dinner with the Supreme Leader,” replied Mitaka.

“So the princess has a free morning, what shall she do with it,” teased Cardo. You saw Ushar hit him again.

Adlez looked at you and said, “If you don’t mind a suggestion m’lady, Olivia-Rose and I would love to spend the morning styling you in various ways for different occasions. A test really to see what you like and what you don’t.”

You heard a distorted snicker come from Cardo, who turned to Ushar, “They are going to play dress up.”

You grew your backbone once more, “If you are going to be rude Cardo then there is no need for you to be here. You can safely guard me from someplace else if it is too difficult for you.”

You watched him stand and clench his fists before Ushar hissed his name and told him to get out. Ushar muttered apologies to you and the others before stepping out of the dining room himself.

You finished your breakfast with some idle chatter with everyone. Not really commenting on this or that. Preferring to eat without much distraction. Once you were finished you saw Olivia-Rose start to take the dishes into the kitchen and you told her to stop, that the droid would take care of it. She was just as out of place as you once were, not knowing how things fully worked.

You entered the dressing room and dismissed the lieutenant until your lesson. Both women seemed to be very happy changing your outfits and accessories and your hair and makeup. Taking you through this scenario and that one with outfit changes. Deciding what works together and what doesn’t. Olivia-Rose did well as she was there when you bought most everything.

“Now we should discuss your routine. I think it would be best for you to take baths every other day, to maintain healthy skin. We should also get a full regime of face masks in the works to keep your skin looking as young as possible,” said Adlez. You trusted her opinions on this, as her skin looked flawless. “We should also get a regular routine of body hair removal and nail care. I will work something out with the lieutenant to always have it in your schedule one way or another. Not taking care of yourself is one of the quickest ways for a man to lose interest. And it is in our best interest to keep the Dark Lord interested in you.”

You did take care of yourself but not to the degree that Adlez was speaking. It sounded like a lot of upkeep and work. But you trusted her, after all, she was right, you needed to keep Kylo interested in you, even though he had shown no real example of not doing so something in your gut told you that something was coming.

“I was wondering if we should take lunch ‘outside’? I would love to feel the sun on my face,” you asked them both.

“Of course m’lady, just let me check to make sure the simulated sun doesn’t give off any UVA UVB rays. Otherwise, we will have to lather your skin in sunscreen. The sun is aging’s best friend and one of your worst enemies,” said Adlez. She then left the dressing room to go check. She came back and informed you that it was all clear.

You three went to the patio and enjoyed the simulated sun during your lunch. This is where both the lieutenant and general found you when it was time to begin your lessons again. You all headed upstairs to the large sitting area once more.

Ch. 14 Part 1: Formal Dinners (para. 1-36)

Ch. 14 Part 2: Formal Dinners (para. 37-80)

Ch. 14 Part 3: Formal Dinners (para. 81-116)

Ch. 14 Part 4: Formal Dinners (para. 117-152)

Ch. 14 Part 5: Formal Dinners (para. 153-end)

Ch. 15: Dinner-Giving with Limited Equipment

Ch. 16: Luncheons, Breakfasts and Suppers

Ch. 17 Part 1: Balls and Dances (para. 1-53)

Ch. 17 Part 2: Balls and Dances (para. 54-end)

Ch. 18: The Debutante

“We will be throwing a formal dinner in a few days with some of the leaders of some First Order planets. You and the Supreme Leader are expected to be in attendance. I will also be there. This is your official debut as Lady Ren, so it will be very important. The Supreme Leader has left it in our hands to get you ready,” said Hux.

You were nervous. You were going to be at a formal dinner, with lots of people you didn’t know, who would be expecting you to be a lady when you weren’t one. This was something that you hoped Kylo would spare you from or something that he would have at least had the courtesy of telling you himself.

You were immensely grateful for Adlez and Olivia-Rose now. They would help you prepare yourself so you didn’t look like an idiot.

“Will I have lessons as to who these leaders are? And to what the rest of the galaxy is,” you ask fiddling with your hands.

“Of course m’lady, it is not my intention to allow you to attend unprepared. It is also the Supreme Leader’s wish for you to be as prepared as I can get you. You will not be alone at the dinner he and I will be there along with other First Order High Command members,” consoled Hux.

“Will Pryde be there?”

“Yes, m’lady, unfortunately, he will be, some of these leaders are the ones I was telling you about. Ones that were Empire sympathizers who like him. But this will be a good time to showcase yourself as someone they can trust. Do not worry, the Supreme Leader will be the whole time with you.” You could see the earnestness in his face. It calmed your nerves a bit.

“When will this formal dinner take place?”

“In a week, seven cycles time. We will be on the other side of the galaxy then near Arkanis. And it will take place here on board the ship, so you will be perfectly safe.” His reassurance did help, as did the date of the dinner. Although you knew that the anticipation may kill you. You were nervous, to say the least.

“Thank you for informing me general, is that all for today?”

“Yes, m’lady. I believe it is now time for you to prepare for dinner.” And with that, both he and the lieutenant left.

You and the girls made your way downstairs to your dressing room. They got out another simple dress and started working on another simple but elegant hairstyle, one that you had worked on earlier that day.

“Do not worry m’lady, we will have you prepared for that dinner, none of those old men will know what hit them,” said Olivia-Rose, voicing herself confidently for the first time.

“Exactly, we will make you the belle of the ball as they say. No one will be able to resist your charm, and if we do everything right, so will the Dark Lord,” said Adlez.

“I know, but I would have preferred him telling me this news versus the general. After all, I am his match, and this is my debut,” you said voicing your displeasure at the situation.

“Well then m’lady you will just have to show the Dark Lord that,” said Adlez while she changed the initial lipstick she was going to hand you. She then picked out a more alluring perfume for you to wear along with a pair of heels. “This will help show him just that. Keep him at arm's-length and he will be eating out of the palm of your hands in no time.”

You liked her thinking a lot. She was right; you needed to show him how it displeased you to have others tell you things that he could have easily told you himself. You were now playing his game, and he did not hold all the cards, but neither did you. But you did have a few aces up your sleeve and now was the time to play one.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo x reader #kylo x you #Star wars soulmate au #star wars #first order #star wars imagine #sw first order imagine #star wars first order #a soul to mend his own #Adlez is fun

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trulisthetic · 4 years ago

Note

I had a bad day today. I did something stupid and got in an online argument with someone who told me that Jim and Pam were an unhealthy couple. I told her why I don't think that's the case without insulting her and got shot down anyway. What would you make of it?

This turned into a monster-post. Oops.

First and foremost, I’m really sorry that you had a bad day. My understanding is that that “someone” wasn’t very kind and respectful to you even though you were towards them. You know, the internet is such a wild place. Under the cover of online profiles we create for ourselves we sometimes act in ways we wouldn’t in real life. We forget that there is an actual person on the other end and not a heartless machine. And being on the receiving end of that... well, it sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that today.

I get that you feel like you did something stupid - because yes, online arguments don’t often get us anywhere, they only end up frustrating us, even hurting us sometimes. But trust me when I tell you this: If you were respectful and didn’t insult her, then you did absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn’t your fault. They’re the only ones accountable for their behavior. I get that you feel off right now, but really, all you can do from this point forward is; just keep swimming :P

All that aside, not everyone is going to agree on everything at that is granted. And it is okay. That’s what makes the people that think like us and share our interests so special and beautiful in our eyes, you know? It’s okay if somebody on the internet doesn’t think Jim and Pam are a healthy couple. Maybe they trigger something for them - a reminder of a past relationship that didn’t end well. Or maybe there is no reason for it - this is just the way they view it. All of those are fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would even be interested in hearing them out, because, honestly, I can’t think of how Jim and Pam’s relationship could possibly be considered unhealthy. But from what I understand - and correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just what I got from the way you phrased your question - the person you argued with didn’t really have many points themselves, they were just arguing for the sake of arguing, finding problems when there really weren’t any. And that’s what’s really problematic. When people go out and shout accusations of unhealthy and problematic and abusive relationships, all they do is make a fool out of the REAL problematic and abusive ones. And that’s the true tragedy in all this.

Now onto Jim and Pam themselves. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue; their relationship being considered ‘unhealthy’.

Since day one, Jim and Pam have always ALWAYS brought out the best in one another. And I believe that anyone who argues on this point in particular has been watching a different show. I mean seriously, they were written this way. Their love was, to its core, written to be of the purest kind. They have a strong base as friends, which is the best foundation you can have in a relationship. And they’ve always been each other’s “person”, since the first season. The one they turn to every time they have a problem, like when Pam is frustrated with Roy, or when Jim dies of boredom. They’re partners in crime, their time together is full of the most awe-worthy combination of mischief and touching moments, and just... joy. Have you seen two people happier to just be with each other’s presence? Have you seen anyone’s eyes light up the way Jim’s does every time Pam “chooses him” when she’s “bored” or when she tells him he has “very nice teeth”? Have you seen on anybody else's face that wide smile (with the tongue peeking between the teeth) that Pam gets every time Jim takes a second too long to choose a jellybean flavor, or buys her a coke for a round of jinx? Those two bring the greatest amount of joy to each other, while doing the smaller, most insignificant things. The only thing that could possibly make them wrong would be if their relationship was toxic.

And Jim and Pam’s relationship is not toxic.

Let's look at some signs of a toxic relationship okay?

It feels bad. All the time. Well. I kinda just went through that. The only times it’s felt bad for them was when they were apart, in season 3 mostly, and then in season 9. And yes, they had marital problems. So, SO many couples do, if not every single one. They handled one situation poorly, and it backfired on them, and they drifted apart. And then they found their way back to each other. At this point, I want to quote one of my favorite pieces of writing, ever. I use it a lot, but it applies here so perfectly, so... @acutelesbian said: “A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.” A while later, she reblogged her own post and added: “I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation. The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.” There it is. So. Jim and Pam had some issues during season 9. They didn’t communicate well, they made some poor choices, they didn’t handle the situation they were thrown in very gracefully. And yet they made a choice, the choice to stay and push and fight for their relationship. They went to therapy, together. They opened up, discussed their feelings, communicated, worked out a solution. They chose each other, even though at the time they weren’t each other’s favorite person. They went through a rough patch and came out of it together, stronger than ever. And HAPPY. If that’s not the epitome of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Having said all that, I think I also covered these signs of a toxic relationship:

You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point.

There’s no effort.

Nothing gets resolved. So let's move on to the next ones.

You’re constantly braced for the ‘gotcha’. This is for when there’s a trap in every statement or question, and even though everyone makes mistakes, yours are used as proof that you’re too uninvested, too wrong, too stupid, too something. And this is seriously as far from Jim and Pam as humanly possible. They’re seriously the exact opposite of that, always lifting each other up and supporting one another through their mistakes.

When ‘no’ is a dirty word. “I think I want a wedding-wedding.” “Cranford? No.” “I don’t know if I want this.” “I don’t think you should go to Philly tonight.”

The score card. Let me show you how wrong you are. Before they were together, they both had some “weak” moments, during which they didn’t exactly act fairly. Not once in all these years have we EVER seen one call the other out on their past mistakes. They’re not keeping score, they’re discussing them, dealing with them and moving on. There isn’t a more mature way to go about this.

There’s a battle – and you’re on your own. Again. In every chance they get, in any problem they face with third persons, they always stand by the other’s side and lift them up and support them. Just like when Pam was there for Jim when Ryan made his life hard in s4, or when Dwight terrorized him with the snow in s7. And just like when Jim made the list for Pam when Robert California set her aside, or when he demanded answers by her side from the dude who did call “a dork like that” back. Those two are a team, and not just when they’re planning ways to prank Dwight, or they’re sharing looks across the room over how ridiculous Michael is being.

Privacy? What privacy? Oh, I LOVE this one about them. How they get to be individuals and they are not defined by one another. They get their private time, private hobbies, and that’s such a healthy part of a relationship that so many just overlook. The only time that wasn’t the case was when they were using the world’s smallest Bluetooth - but it was so obvious that they were both craving it so much because they were missing each other, and they were both more than comfortable with it. Until that conversation with her classmate happened, which I’m sure signaled the end of that way of communication for them. But remember all those months they were apart? Remember how Jim TURNED BACK halfway to New York because “I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple”? Remember how respectful they’ve always been of each other’s need for privacy?

The lies. Oh the lies! The only lie between the two (If you don’t count the “I can’t” of Casino Night and the “It was three years ago. I’m totally over it.” of The Secret) was when Jim didn’t tell Pam that he started a business in Philly. Which he told her an episode late, by himself. And it served as the perfect opportunity to show just how steady the foundations of their relationship are, and how much they trust and faith they have in one another and in their love. I’ll never forget how Pam reacted to realizing that Jim is keeping something from her. She didn’t call him out or corner him for answers, she simply waited for him to tell her when he’s ready. Then when the idea of an affair was thrown on the table, Pam shrugged it off, saying “Jim? No. He loves me too much”. And it’s not easy to say that theoretically, much along actually act on it. But when in season 8 Kathy hit on Jim while they were in that hotel, there’s a deleted scene of Jim and Pam on the phone, and Pam is actually joking about the whole thing. It’s impressive and miraculous just how deeply these two trust each other, and believe that they would never hurt the other like that.

Physical or verbal abuse. Or both. We’ve seen Pam being handled roughly by Roy, and then we’ve seen the way Jim treats her, like she’s the most precious butterfly. And HEAVEN HELP ME, the guy was too scared to look at her for too long in the beginning. He’s the most gentle and caring man I’ve seen, in words and actions alike. And the very same goes for Pam. The only time she’s spoken badly to him was when she said “Shut it” as she was storming off Michael’s office when she found out he was dating her mom and Jim knew. And she was clearly very upset and not acting like herself. But we can all agree that this is not a pattern of behavior, and that Jim and Pam have NEVER, EVER been abusive towards one another.

Not including the other in big decisions. This is the only one that’s kinda true. Jim decided to buy his parents’ house, then decided to start a business, then Pam decided to sell the house, all without including the other. Despite those, that was an issue that they were not blind towards, and Pam even brought it up in season 9, and it was one of the problems they worked through at couples therapy. And that’s exactly what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

So there you have it. Those are the main signs of an unhealthy relationship. Wanna hear the definition of a healthy one?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect. Trust. Honesty. Support. Fairness/equality. Separate identities. Good communication. A sense of playfulness/fondness.

In a healthy relationship you:

Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

Maintain relationships with friends and family

Have activities apart from one another

Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

Are able to feel secure and comfortable

Allow and encourage other relationships

Take interest in one another’s activities

Do not worry about violence in the relationship

Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships

Have respect for sexual boundaries

Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship

Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.

Trust each other and be honest with each other

Have the option of privacy

Now, let us all think each and every one of those through. And let’s think about it twice before we accuse perfectly healthy relationships of being toxic.

That’s all I have to say. Sorry, this was so long, and thank you for staying to this point!

All I know is that, for me, Jim and Pam’s relationship - along with that of my parents’ - is the healthiest one my eyes have ever seen. And I feel so lucky to have discovered those two gems. 💜

#jam #jim and pam #pam and jim #jim halpert #Pam Beesly #healthy relationship #the office #the office us #rambles #masterpost #monsterpost #qs & as #Anon #answered

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thomas-mvller · 4 years ago

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Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

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2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

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3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

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4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

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Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

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6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

///

my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

///

8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

///

9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

///

MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS?????????

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

/////////////

if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

#ask games #yaay!#FINALLY #THE GUILT........ GONE #well this was fun

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literature-islit · 4 years ago

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David Foster Wallace - Mr Squishy (2000)

Yes, this is a post about another short story. Sorry, I guess I just read a lot of them or something. I guess I retract what I said in a previous post, that they are unsexy and unappealing to read. They’re totally okay. You should read more. And, as usual, there’s a bit of a back story as to how I got to this one...

So, I’ve considered Dave Eggers to be a great writer ever since I read his 2013 novel The Circle (now a major motion picture starring Emma Watson) which portrays the dystopian perils of a Facebook-like company urging everyone towards maximum disclosure.

what’s on ur mind? Everyone would love to know haha. Keep refreshing the page for more likes and shares and dopamine hits! Don't be left out! Tell everyone what you are thinking - all the time! Help us help you! We just want you to connect....

The Circle is a great book. I was like - man, I’ve got to read more writing by this man. But, the rest of his writing?

I’ll let everyone battle it out on GoodReads. Some quotes:

it's *so cool* to be post-dave-eggers, and talk about how you didn't really like this book all that much, and it's even cooler to totally hate this book.

I was reading this book and around page 237 (or was it 327?), I figured it out- he's talking to ME. He wrote this book for me. Dave Eggers looked into the future and saw that I would want to read a self-referential, self-satisfying memoir.

I disliked so very much about this book.

The reviews above are talking about his debut novel, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which I... don’t have much to say about. There were good bits. There were incredibly tedious bits.

I would rate it a solid 3/5

It being pitched as a non-fiction memoir, then using lots of narrative elements that are mostly associated with fiction kind of confused me. I was like - ok, there’s no way this guy actually used his inheritance money to launch a real life street press magazine, and then convinced an actor to fake his own death just for the publicity.

But he did.

things u cannot do with social media

And anyway, long story short, kind of fascinated by the idea that in the 90s, at a time before media conglomerates had acquired almost all small press and advertising revenue was at all time lows, and even getting people interested in actually paying money to hold a magazine in their hands and read it was probably the most major barrier to entry to the market; the idea that in the 90s it was fair game and a bunch of college kids could just make a magazine and print it and kind of guerrilla their way into that market, as some kind of genuinely authentic counterculture... wow. I knew I had to try to find out a little more about these types of magazines that Dave Eggers curated and published.

The 90s

Which brings me to The Best of McSweeney’s, a compilation of some of the best content to be published during the run of McSweeney’s which was yet another magazine thing published and curated and etc by Dave Eggers.

The whole book is worth a read.

And the stand-out story, Mr Squishy by David Foster Wallace.

I’m conflicted on how I approach David Foster Wallace’s legacy because he does have a history of abusive treatment towards women, yet on the whole I feel like his writing is revolutionary and unique, and acts to undermine the dominant paradigm instead of reinforce its ideology. My ambivalence is shared by Electric Lit’s 20 Authors I Don’t Have to Read Because I’ve Dated Men for 16 Years: (”A list like this wouldn’t be complete without DFW, but at the same time his inclusion feels disingenuous, because when it comes to Wallace, I am the literary bro cornering you at a party to ask if you’ve read him and why not. I love DFW’s work in the same over-personal obsessive way this list is meant to mock. Wallace is also an author whose body of work defies the kind of easy summary that can be gleaned from listening to a dude talk at a party about his favorite writer, or applied independent of actual engagement with the writing...”)

BBC Culture considers his magnum opus Infinite Jest to be a cult book that has lost its cool.

But, if that’s the case, how do you explain Mira Gonzales (in a defiant act of anarchy that would appall even the least-conservative librarian) constructing a pipe out of the book to smoke weed from, BBC? How do you explain that?

Removed from the context of this preceding discussion, however, I regard Mr Squishy as a work of art. 63 pages of DFW’s signature dense prose (the kind of prose that catches you slipping; this is a story to read with your morning coffee, not just before you hit the hay at night) about a marketing focus group for a new Mr Squishy snack, a story that highlights the manipulations of advertising, marketing groups’ ultimate impotence in the face of a brand that knows the kinds of conclusions it wants to have proved, and the way world wide web technology loomed, casting its great shadow over the particular slice of history Wallace is writing in, threatening to rupture the security of the jobs around which people like marketing facilitator Schmidt have based their entire lives.

This is a story of many layers.

Many people have already written much better on this story than I could ever dream of.

Amazing blog interpretation highlighting the multi-layered nature of the narrative (did I mention the narrative has layers?)

570 word sentence highlighted and dissected for its brilliance (don’t let something so ominous as a 570 word sentence deter you, pls)

How are you gonna get yourself a copy of this story to absorb its brilliance, to appreciate the way it delves deeper inside a fake character’s head than other writers make it seem possible to go? I don’t know. I’m sure there’s a PDF flying about on the internet somewhere. You can borrow The Best of McSweeney’s from any library in South Australia. The story also, I believe, can be read in DFW’s short story collection Oblivion. However you find it is not important. What’s important is that you read it. This man does things with words you never knew were possible!

And, yes, I bragged on Instagram about having started to read DFW’s epic Infinite Jest. (Having re-read this blog post I feel the need to clarify that the picture above is not me, nor my hand; I found it on the internet). That was two years ago, and I am still about halfway through the 1079 page tome. It takes time, okay. Time and patience. I am in the (elongated) process of reading it, and anticipate I will finish it soon...

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tolkien-in-beleriand · 5 years ago

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so a number of people is curious about PhD here in Brazil and as I have nothing else I want to do right now let me tell you about it

I’ll talk about the two processes I went through for my PhD (masters is kinda the same but a bit simpler)

as I already told you here in Brazil the best universities are free, it’s kinda hard to get in but if you do you have the best education available in the country and chances are you will get some kind of scholarship. in my case as I am poor as hell I had a scholarship since first year of grad school and also a place to live. yes, I was paid to live in a nice city away from my abusive family and to study in the best program of my field in Brazil

then came the masters in which I also had a scholarship

and then the nightmare begins

see as part of my scholarship I had to finish my masters in two years. what does it mean? it means that in my second year I was writing my masters dissertation, finishing papers, preparing for qualification, then argumentation, writing my PhD project and preparing for the PhD tests

and of course as you probably know by now I love complicating things so I applied for two PhDs programs. why? only God knows, but I did. now each university has its own way to deal with PhDs applications so I’ll tell you about the two kinds of tests I had to go through

first my home university:

first you write a project. 20 pages. must have: abstract, key words, title, introduction, methodology, cronogram of activities, bibliographic references. it must present a certain novelty in the idea, they want something new, a thesis (that I will later prove right or wrong in 200 to 300 pages). my thesis was basically “Fantasy is a literature genre and it IS NOT the same as fantastic literature (don’t get me started - I wrote a PhD thesis about it but I’m still bitter)”

you need to hand this project in September. then in October is the written test. in our field the written test (in this particular university, as I said it varies) is: they pick a literary topic, that is a surprise only reveled to us mortals the day and hour of the test, and we have four hours to write an essay about it, in a room like an exam, no researches allowed. the topic in my year was History and Literature. then they grade the essay 0-10 and you need at least a 7 to go to next phase.

fine, now the few people who got the 7 go to phase “analyzing the project”. you get a grade on that too. and you need a 7 to pass as well.

then if you are lucky enough to have your project accepted you go to phase “interview” when a board will make all kinds of questions about your study, project, plans, you know... to make sure you were the one who wrote the thing and know what you’re talking about (I just need to mention here that at my interview they said my project was perfect and made 0 questions because, and I quote, “we know your trajetory and we know what you are capable of and no one else studies Fantasy Literature here”)

then they grade the interview. if you didn’t get at least a 7 bye bye bird, it doesn’t matter if your project was perfect and you aced the written test, it’s goodbye

after this they add all the scores and divide by something and if your final score is below 7, that’s goodbye too.

then you need to do the language test because oh yes YOU DO NEED TO KNOW TWO FOREIGN LANGUAGES to be accepted in any PhD program here.

and that’s it for my first application. I passed first place. usually the good programs gets scholarships and our program was very good so we had like six scholarships every year for sure and then maybe more. they give the scholarships according to the final score so yep I got it

but... when I traveled for my second PhD application I still didn’t have any of my scores, I didn’t even know if I had passed the written test and let me tell you I was desperate and honest to God terrified I wouldn’t pass

anyway, now process number two:

they make things quite different there and they are way more demanding so I was just really terrifie that I would end the year with a crappy masters and no PhD perspective.

first test they do is the language one, a translation and ooooh boi do I hate translating stuff. but it was okay, I wasn’t worried about that part. the system there was very different. while at my home university the process was spread through months, here you had three days of tests and if you failed the first day you are not even invited for the next day. again, you need 7 to pass.

so first day: language test, 52 people applying. 20 passed for day two, me included.

second day, written test. I knew they had a different style from my home university but I was not prepared for that. they gave you 10 questions, all about literature. you had to pick five and answer. so you kinda had to write 5 mini essays on 5 different topics and the questions were like “in the page 25 of the essay Memory in Baudelaire by Walter Benjamin the author express a view on how experience play a central part in the story of the narrative genre. comment on that.”

one of them was to “comment on” the trajetory of the novel as a genre. I read the 10 questions then I started laughing. then I noticed the Professor in the class was the one I wanted as my supervisor there (she is like a big deal in Fantasy studies), the one who, in two months, would be in the board of my masters argumentation. I started crying. so much. I had to be escorted to the bathroom to “calm down”. well, I thought, it’s over, I better not even come back to the exam room and save me the embarrassment of looking the Professor in the eyes. but I couldn’t do that. I had to at least convince myself that I did everything I could. so I went back and started answering the ones I thought I had a shot at. we had four hours too and after doing my darnest to answer 4 questions I wanted to die before having to answer one more. so I chose the novel one because, you know it’s not that hard to trace a genealogy of the novel as a genre. but I was so tired. so incrediby tired and I thought I won’t pass anyway so I might as well have some fun. and friends, what did I do? I wrote a mini novel where my protagonist was the novel “living” through all its phases. I can’t remember a word of that but I did it.

when I was back to the hotel I started crying so much and felt so guilty, I was sure I would fail both programs. next morning the result would be on campus and honestly I only went there because I had spent too much money to just ignore the result, I would never have peace if I didn’t check. but I was really really sure I didn’t pass so I checked out the hotel, got into a taxi, asked him to take me to campus for two minutes, so I could check a thing, and then he could take me to the station

ooooh I have no words to describe my happiness when I looked to a list of FIVE names who had got through to the next phase and my name was there.

I still can’t believe it and until this day I wonder what kind of crap did people write because they considered my “novel is a protagonist of a novel” answer over other 15????

anyway so I was happy but fucked because I had checked out the hotel so I had no place to go and the interview would be only at 5pm so there I was full of bags wandering around the campus waiting for my interview.

interview time: board with two fucking specialists in the Fantasy field and an ass who thinks she is above this. I was very nervous, they asked a bunch of questions about my project (oh yeah I forgot to say you had to hand a project like in the other uni and it is considered part of your application as well) and then... last question... from the ass “why do you consider fantasy as literature” I froze, the other two smiled (they knew my reputation). I want to murder that woman. why do I consider fantasy as literature? WHY?? son of a motherfucking bitch. so I smile*** and ask “what do you study?” she answers “Goethe” with an air of superiority. I say “oh I love Goethe, he is magnificent and the way he.... bla bla bla” I was just showing off. then I say “now think about why you consider Goethe literature. that’s your answer.” I want to say that if I had a mic I would drop it but nah... if I had a mic I would probably make that bitch eat it.

they didn’t have score there, you only passed or failed. I passed. one of five. from 52. I got a scholarship there too, but I decided to stay home. my supervisor at my uni was amazing and a wonderful person and so so smart and funny and he is in a band and is super cool and nerdy, also one of my best friends and one of the most successful translators in Brazil

so yes. this is two of the possibles processes you can go through to get in a top PhD program. and that friends is the easy part. seriously, masters and doctorates are exhausting and it breaks you. neurotypicals get mental illnesses because of it and honest to God I don’t know how I managed it. neither does my doctors. no, actually I know. it was spite.

*** funny story: because of an incident in my masters interview, before my PhDs interviews my supervisor called me to “teach me how to interact with stupid people”. he basically told me I was not supposed to laugh at a stupid question, I was not supposed to death stare the board after a stupid question and, of course, I was not allowed to get up and leave. because I did all that in my masters interview and almost didn’t get into the program. then he made me pretend he was the board talking shit and I had to smile and take notes. his words “it doesn’t matter if you are writing a curse and planning that person’s murder, smile and take notes.”

in my defence I did all that because in my masters interview a Professor asked me if I knew that Tolkien was an author who died in the 70s and that The Lord of the Rings wasn’t just a movie. after I laughed and asked if she was joking she got mad and then I tried to explain that yes, I did in fact know that John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, born in January 3rd, 1892 and dead in September, 2nd, 1973, was an author and wrote the book called The Lord of the Rings who inspired Peter Jackson’s trilogy. then I pointed out that my study had nothing to do with The Lord of the Rings, book or movie. I was in fact studying Tolkien’s essay “On Fairy Stories” and how critics point out The Lord of the Rings as the base of moderny fantasy without noting that Tolkien himself wrote the theory I consider the foundation of fantasy as a genre. then she said “that was done before” and I said “no it wasn’t, surprisingly enough people never came to this conclusion until now” and she looked me in the eyes and asked “are you sure? did you do a deep and careful research on the matter?” and I said “yes I did” and I swear to God she asked “did you try google it?”

yep I just got up and left. did I try google??? are you fucking serious? yes I did, when I wasn’t even at the uni yet you moron. google. can you believe it? I was reading papers from Oxford and Cambridge and this ass ask me if I used google.

I had a very bad score at my masters interview but my supervisor loved it anyway.

so that’s it. I hope it helps to have an idea how things work around here.

#phdblr #phd #masters #academic life #long post #very loooong post

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goldenkamuyhunting · 5 years ago

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Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 233 “Candy Peddler”

So with this new chapter we stumble again in a situation that had been recurring… right from the start, really.

(In case you're not familiar with role-playing games the quote in the image above is a reference to them)

But let’s go with order.

The cover shows Sugimoto and Shiraishi watching flowers so as to point out spring has come.

We then focus on Sugimoto’s group, who’s searching for Boutarou. Finally we see that Sugimoto is on the same horse as Asirpa while Shiraishi is on the horse with Vasily. Really, I wonder why they waited so long to use this system.

Sugimoto points out something logical.

In a scene we likely didn’t see, Shiraishi should have described Boutarou as a robber and murderer with a long list of crimes. Sugimoto now wonders if such a guy would work as a candy peddler. It’s a good reasoning but, honestly, it comes a bit late.

Anyway Shiraishi points out that he believes Boutarou wouldn’t do such a thing, considering it a pain in the ass. Evidently Shiraishi and Boutarou know each other enough Shiraishi is aware of which sort of guy he was.

Sugimoto jumps to the conclusion the guy with weird tattoos should be another convict. As for me I just to the conclusions that:

A) They should have worried about this MUCH sooner.

B) They should have checked the weird tattoos of the candy peddler were the ones they were searching about before moving.

Sugimoto’s group is not formed by a bunch of stupid people, they can think quite well when they want to, it’s just they’re more prone to rush into things than in stopping to think things through and this is oftena huge handicap for them.

In fact Sugimoto asks Shiraishi if he can think figure out who of the convicts would act as candy peddler which is again a good question… but another one that should have been done early on.

Shiraishi reports that no convict of the sort comes to his mind.

Now… let’s do some math.

Shiraishi is aware that 12 convicts already died, although he doesn’t know the identity of two of them (the one in Barato and the one in Yubari). He thinks he knows for sure the identity of 7 convicts who’re running around free, including himself (Shiraishi is not aware Ienaga died).

This makes a total of 19 convicts whose whereabouts Shiraishi supposedly know and 5 Shiraishi doesn’t know (among them we need to include Sekiya and Youichirou whose death Shiraishi is unaware of).

Well, honestly I’ll say this is the perfect moment for the group to discuss on which convicts Shiraishi knows. Because really, I get Noda wants to keep the suspense but this point is becoming kind of silly they wouldn’t discuss on who the remaining convicts are so that they could keep an eye open for them as well.

This also applies to Hijikata’s group as Kadokura SHOULD KNOW all the missing convicts.

But whatever, I guess this can’t be helped as the lack of discussion is due to a narrative need. Back to the story.

Shiraishi reports there are plenty of convicts whose face he doesn’t know (at the very best they can be 5) but he mentions AND THIS IS RELEVANT, how HE is well-known instead.

Why is it relevant? You’ll see.

The group reaches Urashinai, a coal mining town where there are various peddlers who try to attract customers in different ways. Sugimoto go straight to molest (there’s no other word for it) a candy one, demanding him to undress because he’ll buy candies from him.

When the guy asks him why, Sugimoto claims with a grin he wants to see his nipples… as if this were perfectly normal.

Honestly in another manga this would give huge rape vibes but here instead not only we know Sugimoto only wants to check for the tattoos but we also have an adult unactactive male seller who doesn’t bother blushing or looking embarrassed but replies, in a very professional manner that Sugimoto is asking him that for free, implying Sugimoto needs to pay him for that.

Sugimoto sounds even more of a pervert saying he can give up on the candy then (implying he is willing to pay the price of the candy to see the man’s nipples) and the man yells at him his nipples aren’t so cheap.

The scene is clearly meant to work as a gag, so we don’t really think we should judge Sugimoto negatively for harassing people who might be convicts, but really, if someone were to come at anyone’s workplace demanding what Sugimoto is demanding, we wouldn’t find it so funny.

So well, I guess this is a side of Japanese humour that doesn’t really work for me. Mind you, it’s okay if you love it, de gustibus non disputandum est, I just can’t.

Shiraishi tries with a more direct approach.

He not so tactfully throw water at sellers then he apologizes and starts to attempt to undress them because they’re now wet.

Anyway their spectacular result is that they saw 0 nipples and the peddlers now want to gang up and beat them.

Clearly this is meant to be comedic because both Shiraishi and Sugimoto escape when Sugimoto could likely beat them up.

This though points out to how they can’t be smooth (Sugimoto was attempting to force the seller in an absolutely unnatural way, Shiraishi was way too obvious and suspicious) and persuasive and how poor their plan was.

Really, they had Asirpa who, as a candy buyer would look a lot more natural. Why not letting her do something, boys, like have her be the one who casually drop water on them?

Why not to think of a DECENT plan that would cause those guys to undress?

On a sidenote Noda usually tries to put lot of humour before drama so is drama coming in the near future? Who knows.

Anyway the humour goes on.

A kid’s ball falls in what’s after the IT’s reference in the past chapter looks like a drain… and, as the child peek in it, the IT reference continues with Shiraishi appearing holding the kid’s ball and asking him, with a creepy face due to red eyes and bruises if he had seen a peddler with strange tattoos.

The kid tells him he had, pointing him to where the guy could be.

And here I’ve to praise a NicoNico video maker who, long ago, draw Shiraishi in this exact same scene… well, okay, there are some differences but it’s still pretty similar.

I wonder if he managed to inspire Noda or this is just a coincidence.

Anyway Shiraishi reaches him, asking him for candy, thankfully in a normal way but the guy still gives him a long stare.

Now, remember how before I told you how IT WAS RELEVANT how Shiraishi was pretty famous among the convicts?

Likely this guy has recognized him… while Shiraishi has no idea who he is. I mean, he could be a dangerous convict and he’ll prove in a moment he’s clever enough he made up a plan. Just having Sugimoto backing him might not be enough for Shiraishi.

The candy seller, after telling Shiraishi he’ll make the candy appear, shows him instead his ‘puppet in a box’ performance. In the previous chapter we saw how this convict seemed to get off by seeing disappointed faces. This performance seems aimed to get this result, people expect candies and see a puppet showing them their tongue.

Sugimoto and Asirpa join Shiraishi as Shiraishi asks the candy seller if he has strange tattoos and I facepalm at this because really, if the guy is a convict aware people might be hunting him for his tattooed skin, he’ll just let random men asking about them see them carelessly. No, really, even if we assume he hadn’t recognized Shiraishi, this is a bad plan as the mere question will ring warning bells in a convict’s head.

Really, they could as well go around with a sign pointing to them saying ‘we search tattooed convicts to skin’. -_-

The guy seems to hesitate (but very likely he’s doing it on purpose, to raise their expectation and create more disappointment he can enjoy later). Sugimoto gives him an intimidating stare insisting he’d like to see them. And here we see this convict, differently from them, had come up with an intelligent plan.

He raises the cloth covering his face and shows his face is covered with strange tattoos.

This guy has understood the weird tattoos Wilk gave him could be seen and reported and has prepared a counter back plan. By showing a face full of weird tattoos, he mislead people who had heard about his tattoos but hadn’t ask for details about them into thinking the ones on his face were the tattoos people was talking about.

It’s a clever but very base trick and one Sugimoto’s group could have seen through because having weird tattoos on your face doesn’t stop you from having tattoos on the rest of your body. Oyabun, who’ll get mentioned later on, also had his tattoos on his lower body instead than on his upper body due to the Yakuza tattoo on the upper part of his body while hime also had a yakuza tattoo but they didn’t notice how he was tattooed due to him having it on his back.

The experience should have made them more wary and instead they fall for it hook, line and sinker.

Really, it’s like how you tell someone to show what he holds in his right hand and he shows you his left hand is empty.

Shiraishi and Sugimoto are surprised and disappointed as the guy, with a delighted expression, tell them he did all those tattoo by himself.

Sugimoto, whose 6th sense always fail to detect a convict to the point that, as I said in the beginning, is becoming a running gag (think at Gotou, Henmi, Hijikata, the fake Ainu, Ushiyama, Oyabun and Hime, Heita and now this guy… but also at how, in the volume version of chap 210 he believed Tsurumi was someone with whom Asirpa and the Ainu could negotiate and have an overwhelming advantage… -_-) of course looks totally dejected and thinks that chasing the idea of a candy peddler with tattoo could be a convict was a complete fail, his dejected expression delighting the convict.

Really, this guy seems to be a sadist that takes great pleasure in crushing hope.

If IT fed itself on fear, this guy seems to fed himself on other people’s feelings of sadness in fact, after bending to give a good look at Sugimoto’s sad face he tries his hardest to suffocate his giggles as he comments what a great expression… which, to be honest, is quite a suspicious thing to say in fact Shiraishi looks at him oddly but Sugimoto apologizes for taking the guy’s time and moves to leave.

Overall though, I’m starting to think this convict is not so clever. His plan to hide his tattoos, is effective but rather simple and could have been easily see through. It also attracts too much attention on him.

But well… in a way this convict is similar to Henmi.

While Henmi wanted someone to kill him, this convict desperately wants to see people’s disappointed faces, to see hope light in their eyes to crush it, so his own trick his perfect for his own character.

Meanwhile Sugimoto comments that since they didn’t find anything near Toppu River or Sorachi River maybe they should go to the Saru River.

Irony at its finest since it will be revealed Boutarou it’s near Toppu River. Evidently the guys missed him.

Sugimoto also points out how he too had heard about the Sapporo killer with Shiraishi saying they could choose to head there… and, I’ll add, meet up with Hijikata’s gang and Tsurumi’s underlings as well as all the police as it’s obvious everyone and their moms went to check on those murders.

No, really guys, go search someone that doesn’t require you to get into a lion’s den. You don’t need to put Asirpa in more danger than she is already.

Really, while both Kikuta and Ogata suggest on disguising, why aren’t you even considering it?

Shiraishi is famous among convicts, Sugimoto has such peculiar scars he’s easily recognizable and they travel with an Ainu kid.

They’re really lucky Tsurumi is still checking north because otherwise he could have easily locate them.

Asirpa, who has somehow remained behind and who’s kind of excluded by those ‘wise men’ talks and kind of has a sad expression overheard the candy peddler comment on how ‘Wakayama no Oyabun’ (若山の親分 Boss Wakayama) also had a great face.

Now, I had no idea Oyabun also searched for convicts as he seemed more focused on handling his business, but maybe he and the candy seller met by chance. Who knows, though clearly he didn’t recognize him either.

Sure thing is Asirpa ears him and, remembering who Wakayama was, starts to get suspicious and tries to track him down… only to manage to hear him saying ‘you’ll never be able to find the gold’ while he’s on a wagon running away.

Now persuaded the guy is a convict Asirpa calls Sugimoto (what about Shiraishi, Asirpa?) telling him to search for the candy peddler but they’re too late and can’t din him.

Meanwhile, near Toppu River, in an Ainu village Boutarou is having his men gift an old Ainu with rice bales while he questions the guy. It turns out that the old guy was aware of the previous spot in which the gold was hidden due to how his older brother was involved with it.

The guy confirms that his older brother was among the Ainu killed when the gold was moved, so he tells Boutarou is unlikely he will find anything if he goes in the old spot in which the gold was. Boutarou (I’m not sure why they kept his face hidden previously, it was clear he was him… are we going to meet someone else with such long hair?) still wants to know where it was.

Boutarou’s underling is not so sure this will work but Boutarou asks the old Ainu from which rivers the gold was taken and the old Ainu, after a moment of hesitation, lists the rivers Heita signed down so, apparently, Heita managed to hand that list to Boutarou and then the guy let him free to go. Really, I’d like to know the story between those two.

The chapter ends with Boutarou asking which was the previous hideout of the gold.

Overall… it’s a pretty uneventful chapter.

All we got from it was to very vaguely flesh out better convict number 23 (of which we don’t know the name yet) having the Sugi group met him and vent the possibility Sugimoto will either move toward Sapporo or toward Saru River.

Also, in case someone doubted it, Heita’s analysis were right… and Boutarou is clearly better at finding things than Sugi’s group as he has found someone who know where the gold was and where the gold was previously hidden while Sugi’s group supposedly hadn’t (unless Noda skipped the whole scene). We’ll see where all this will go, Boutarou seems to plan to become another contestant for the gold more than a new leather jacket for Tsurumi or Hijikata or Sugi and Sugi’s group still hadn’t accomplished anything from when they’re back to Hokkaido. Heita’s skin doesn’t really count as they stumbled on him by coincidence and he committed suicide.

Honestly I’ll start to worry if I were in them as they aren’t supposed to be genre aware and know they’re the main characters. Well, at least Asirpa figured out the truth but it’s a bit sad how the guys weren’t paying her any attention.

On the other side Boutarou seems to be pretty smooth. Without threatening anyone he gets the old Ainu to tell him all he knows with little effort. His plan was solid and I also like how he let go of Heita. I wonder what his backstory is since he was depicted not just as a robber but also as a murderer. Is he a cold blooded guy or did he has some sort of motive for his murders (for example revenge like Toni Anji)?

We’ll see.

#Golden Kamuy #Sugimoto Saichi #Asirpa #Shiraishi Yoshitake #Wakayama Kiichirou #Vasily Pavlichenko #Oosawa Fusatarou #Golden Kamuy Ramblings and Theories #Ueji Keiji

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detectiveharmony · 5 years ago

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How I Planned My Wedding

Hi guys! I realize this isn't normally the sort of thing I write. Usually, I write book advice that has to deal with writing, editing, publishing novels, and everything in between! But as I have recently been married, I thought I would release the secrets of dark magic I conjured in order to plan my wedding.

1. Set a Budget

The first thing is first. Set a budget. If you ask yourself if this is really necessary, yes, it is. It is 1000% necessary. While you are setting a budget, I would also get a binder to make your wedding binder. Whether you want to or not, you are going to be purchasing a lot of things for your wedding, and it's best to keep all receipts together in case you need to return some things.

Now, as far as setting a budget goes, I just downloaded a free spreadsheet online and printed it out. If you don't want to print one out, there are a lot of websites that have online budgeting and spreadsheets. Weddingwire.com and the Knot App were especially helpful for me because they had super helpful checklists plus budgeting, registry trackers, and online RSVP. I kept budgets on everything I made. My printed budget looked something like this:

I didn't use all of the spaces, but it at least kept me on track. The goal is to set the absolute most you are willing (and have the ability to) spend on any certain thing. This was sort of a game for me. I'd set the amount, and see for how much cheaper I could get it, with quality, in reason. Mine and Josh's total wedding budget was around 11K. I think we actually ended up spending around 7K. A lot of our services were gifts from friends, and for that I'll be forever grateful. Which brings me to my next point:

2. Find Talented Friends Who Are Willing to Help

I would first and foremost like to say that just because you have a photographer friend does not mean you should go up to said photographer friend and blatantly ask them to take pictures of your wedding for free. It's cheap and demeaning to them, especially if that is their only source of income, or if they work a job with low income. Even if they have plenty of money, they are not going to be willing to take 6-10 hours out of their day plus weeks in editing to take pictures of your wedding with no compensation. The same principle applies to other services. What I am meaning is to search out friends who render services, and ask them for quotes. In my experience, 9/10 times they cut us a deal or even offered the service for free as a wedding gift. If you are part of a church family, I would definitely recommend looking there first. In the spirit of the Lord, most people are more than happy to help you for free without you even asking. My church family is where my cake, sound, and officiant services came from, and they were all more than perfect. It's also worth noting that I tipped my friends anyway, even though they didn't ask to be paid, because I really appreciated their services (even though some of them returned the tips and refused any type of payment).

The talented friend also applies to friends who have also been married before, who are good with money, or good with budgeting if you don't know where to start or how to begin.

3. Set a Guest List

When you are setting your guest list, it's important to remember that you don't have to (and probably shouldn't) invite everyone you have known since kindergarten or on your Facebook. The more people you have at your wedding, the more expensive it's going to be. In our case, if our guest list exceeded 100 people, our security cost would double, so I tried to keep it at a minimum, only inviting close friends and family. A lot of people didn't understand this, and you'll probably make a lot of people mad in doing so, but it was important for me to cut costs wherever possible. At the time I was financing an 11k wedding by myself on a 20k salary. Long lost cousin Susie wasn't a priority on my guest list. People I hadn't seen or spoken to in years weren't a priority. I gave my husband a pen and paper and told him to invite whoever he wanted, but he also understood that we were trying to save money. Every penny saved helped, and honestly, the day went by so quickly I don't even remember a lot of the people who were there. If people truly care about you, they'll understand that married life is hard and will be eager to help you in any way they can, even if that help is not coming to the wedding. Most of my friends and family were understanding when I explained to them that we didn’t have the money to invite everyone we wanted. And at the end of the day, it's your wedding, nobody else's.

4. Do as Much as You Can Ahead of Time

If you want to be so stressed out that you are incapacitated, then wait until the last second to book all of your services. I recommend, if you can, to book at least a year ahead of schedule. I didn't, and around four months before my wedding I was wondering how everything was going to get paid for.

You will end up financing a lot of things, especially the more expensive things. Unless you have boat loads of cash just laying around, of course, and a lot of places will turn you down if you don't have an adequate time frame to finance. The most important of these are the wedding ring, your catering service, the venue, the cake, and your wedding dress. A lot of DJ and music services will also require you to book ahead of time. We did, but I ended up stressing anyway because our DJ canceled on us 2 weeks before the wedding.

The process of looking for these people is pretty straightforward. I just googled the service I needed and made inquiries until I found someone within my budget. The venue will be slightly different though, as you'll want to tour venues and see which best suits your needs. It's also worth mentioning that before you choose a theme for your wedding, look at venues first. I originally planned for us to have a vintage wedding, but then we got married in a barn in Texas, so it ended up being a country fall wedding.

The very minimum amount of time you want to have for your dress is six months, unless you are having a friend or family member make your dress. Besides it taking a long time to pick a dress out (for some of us, anyway), bridal boutiques need time to clean and do alterations on your dress. I went with David's Bridal, but I personally wouldn't recommend them. The first time I picked up my dress from cleaning, I was deathly ill, I had to wait for 3 hours after they said it would be done, and when I picked it up and drove almost two hours home, I noticed the next day that my dress had oil stains all down the front of it from the sewing machines. They eventually fixed it, and my dress turned out to be gorgeous, but I would rather not have had that stress, especially when I was running fever and lost my voice. Not to mention the arm and leg I paid for my dress. I know a few who have had similar experiences, but I also know some who have had great experiences with David's Bridal. Either way, it's up to you.

Weddingwire.com had some great timelines to follow for booking all of your services. If you are past the month mark for booking your services, don't worry about it. I did the bulk of my planning in the last 6 months of my wedding (not recommended).

5. Wedding Shower and Wedding Registries

I forget how early I made my registries. I think maybe 5 or 6 months in advance. Even if you are already living together and have house stuff, making wedding registries is a good idea because you can update all your stuff, or get new stuff that you've wanted for a while. People are going to buy you gifts regardless, so you may as well have lists people can shop from to avoid ending up with a bunch of duplicate gifts or useless stuff that will just sit in the garage or in the corner of the junk drawer in your kitchen for years to come.

I registered with a variety of places. Amazon, Target, and Walmart were my top choices. I would especially recommend getting an Amazon registry because a lot of people are last seconders, and prime 1 or 2 day shipping will still give them a way to buy your gift even if it is the last second. Amazon was my most highly trafficked registry. Walmart was second, but a lot of people don't like shopping Walmart online because it can take up to two weeks for items to ship, and even if you go in store, most stores carry different products. Just because they have it online doesn't mean every Walmart (or any Walmart near you) carries it. When making your registries, don't be afraid to put anything and everything you could possibly want or need on there. I wish I had put more stuff on mine because nearly everything got purchased. I amended my registries right before the wedding, but very few gifts were purchased at that time.

Your wedding shower is typically two months before the wedding, around the same time you send out the official invitations. A lot of people I knew didn't know what a wedding shower was, so here you go: A wedding shower is an event where people bring gifts to the new couple to usher them into their new life together, helping them settle in. No matter what you do, weddings will end up being expensive, and if you buy couples gifts, even small ones, it helps them out a great deal in the long run by helping them save money on house things they won't have to otherwise purchase.

6. Wedding Day Preparation

Assemble a wedding day crew. Find people who are going to help you set up decorations, organize, direct, and put everything away once the event is over. It's easiest if you assign small duties to everyone who is helping you. I made lists of all my bridesmaids names, plus my grandparents, brother, parents, and aunt, who also came to help me set up. Under each name I wrote what I wanted them to do. It can be simple things like, “Decorate tables,”, “Set up head table,”, “Be in charge of handing out cake after the cake cutting,” or, “Decorate main stage.” Whatever small thing will make it easier for you, designate it to someone you can trust. My family was wonderful and helped me out more than I could ever thank them for.

I also had a table chart everyone could reference, so when we were moving tables and chairs around, everyone had a picture of what I wanted everything to look like so they knew what I wanted without asking me. It's also important to set a wedding day timeline. Even before the ceremony starts, you want to have given time frames for any activities, including decorating, salon trips for hair and makeup, a love note exchange, or whatever else you want to do before the ceremony and during it. Unless, of course, your venue let's you decorate the night before, which ours didn’t.

7. Last Bits of Advice

Your wedding day is going to happen one way or the other. Some things are just going to go wrong, and you have to let it happen and not worry about it. You're going to be married at the end of the day anyway.

Do as much reading as you can on planning a wedding. Every little tip I read helped, and in the end, I think my wedding was perfect. The only thing I would have changed was shortening the ceremony a bit so we would have had more time for family pictures. The wedding itself ended earlier than I thought, but I wasn't going to complain. I was exhausted, and thankful to get to go to bed early.

As my last piece of advice, turn your phone off on your wedding day and give everyone someone else's phone number to text or call for important questions. I designated my maid of honor for this task, but you could also use your mother or anyone else for this. Turn your phone off on your honeymoon too, or if you can't turn it off, don't answer text messages. And if you are that person who calls or texts on wedding day or honeymoon, unless it's of dire consequence, don't be that person.

Happy wedding planning!

#wedding #wedding plannning #love #fall wedding #wedding planning help #wedding planning ideas #wedding ideas

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organixxcollagens-blog · 5 years ago

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Organixx Collagen Review

Organixx Collagen

This Organixx Collagen review is entirely about getting real deep into the Clean Sourced Collagens of Organixx.

It’s about having a proper look at the promotional materials, pledged claims, beneficial ingredients, and the actual benefits. Additionally, we’ll also discuss an aspect most other reviews waive: additives. And lastly, we will dive into the customer reviews, major complaints and global success rates.

Essentially, all to make as accurate of assessment about the Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens supplement as possible.

Ultimately, you could even say that my goal here is to help you save time by creating the most resourceful review around. But, if by any chance, you find a section or aspect I haven’t covered but you’re interested in, let me know. And I’ll add that to the review.

One Can Drown In The Wealth Of Information Organixx Provides; Is It All To Sell?

The supplement of this review actually comes with a couple of different commonly used names. Its real, original name is Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens. But it also commonly gets referred to as simply Organixx Collagen which I assume is because it’s their only Collagen supplement. Or there’s also Organixx Clean Sourced Collagen (without an “s” at the end) which I feel is the more common approach given that no other manufacturer calls its supplement “Collagens” because there’s more than one type of Collagen.

Every single one of these alterations refers to the same supplement over and over again. Thus, if I happen to alternate between these different names throughout the article, do forgive me; I’m referring to the same thing.

According to the manufacturer, “Clean Sourced Collagens is hands down the most bioavailable collagen supplement you’ll find anywhere.” As they put it, “That’s because you’ve got absolutely EVERYTHING your body will need in order to use as MUCH collagen as it can” [R].

And to that extent, the supplement does go beyond just Collagen. As for all the other ingredients added, they support their choice with more than just generic statements. Instead, they use quite a bit of references. Which I personally do heavily enjoy.

Generally speaking though, the description of the supplement is uncomparable with the description of supplements like Doctor’s Best Collagen, It Works! CollagenWorks, or even the Pure Gold Collagen. This is because this one is a proper sales page. And there’s not one but two of them [R, R].

However, I feel with either of them, we don’t get that negative, suppressing, burdening feel that we typically get with most other sales pages. No, this one’s mostly about informing people (and thus, the references). And it’s an absolute wealth of information there. And then it’s about selling.

So, about promises. There’s quite a few actually. The main one is about anti-aging, which echos all throughout their content. They also promise to “[..] reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, [..] keep your arteries squeaky clean, [..] ease joint discomfort, [..] rev up your metabolism [..], protect your liver, [..] boost your mood, [..] help you sleep better, [..] and a whole lot more” [R].

So, generally speaking, a pretty wild benefit list. I mean, we don’t even remotely get that with straight-up Collagen supplements like Youtheory Collagen or NeoCell Super Collagen. And even don’t get that with those that add a bunch of other nutrients to the table like Applied Nutrition Liquid Collagen or Health Direct AminoSculpt Collagen Energy.

That said, the benefit list doesn’t exactly end there. They also persist to “promote healthy hair, skin, and nails, support optimal joint function and mobility, improve digestion and overall gut health, boost your metabolism to burn stubborn fat, and more” that do cover in full those of commonly mentioned for other supplements [R].

Then there’s also some comparisons going on. According to them, of course, Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens is the best Collagen supplement of all. Then there’s also a full-year 100% money-back guarantee which is a proper one in the sense that we can get all of our money back even if we send back an empty container.

Then there are also customer reviews which seem to not get adjusted as they include also negative ones. And there is quite a bit of “order more now and get a bigger discount” action going on.

Overall, the Organixx Collagen supplement is definitely a compelling one. But is it actually worth the money?

While Supplement Is Abundant, Reasons For Added Ingredients Are A Mess

There is a couple of different approaches Collagen supplements tend to take. First, there are those that provide only raw Collagen and nothing else like Doctor’s Best Collagen Powder. Then there are those that add one or two extra nutrients or beneficial substances to the mix like AHS Super Collagen. Finally, there are those that are almost multivitamin-like in regard to the number of different additions they bring to the table like Nature’s Bounty Ageless Eye.

The Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens subscribes to the very last of the mentioned approaches. So, what does it have a hand in?

The supplement offers 8.5 grams or 8,500 milligrams of Multi Collagen Complex that consists of Hydrolyzed Grass-Fed, Pasture-Raised Bovine Collagen Peptides, Bovine Bone Broth Hydrolyzed Protein, Antibiotic-Free Chicken Bone Broth Collagen Concentrate, Clean Marine Wild-Caught Hydrolyzed Fish Collagen Peptides, Eggshell Membrane Collagen, Acerola Cherry, Camu Camu, Silica from Organic Horsetail, Zinc Gluconate, Fulvic Acid, and Pyridoxine Hydrochloride [R, R].

Thus, on top of the typical sources for an abundance of Collagen types, it adds quite a bit of other ingredients to in a way augment the benefits we’ll get out of the blend. And supposedly, there are very good reasons for this.

As they put it, vitamin C through the Acerola Cheery and Camu Camu is there because it’s paramount to Collagen absorption. However, I feel that’s not exactly true. Certainly not the case according to the resource they quote when making that statement [R, R, R].

Yes, vitamin C is necessary for natural Collagen production. Or a fancy way to say it, it’s presence is paramount in Collagen synthesis. However, it does not play a role in the absorption of the substance. Thus, if we’re already getting ready to absorb Collagen (which we are), then vitamin C plays no role whatsoever in how our bodies absorb it [R, R, R].

Moreover, we ideally should be consuming a conventional (for men or women) or an unconventional multivitamin daily anyway. And that will provide all the vitamin C necessary. There’s no purpose in getting an overpriced one out of our Collagen supplement.

As for the Silica as a building block of Collagen, I feel that’s a stretched truth as well. They persist on this idea that Silica is “actually a ‘building block’ of collagen, so it helps your body more effectively use the collagen you’re taking.” But that I feel is an argumentation fallacy. How can something that is a “building block” of something affect how well absorbed that thing is [R]?

I mean, if it truly were to affect the absorption, it’s not because Silica is the “building block.” It would rather be because Silica is a facilitator of some kind. I mean, yes, Silica might be paramount in the natural production of the thing (as a “building block”) but the supplement inherently doesn’t require us to create Collagen naturally. It provides a ready-to-absorb type of Collagen. So, why there is an inherent need by the supplement for more of it naturally?

Furthermore, while they have referenced a study to that cited statement, I don’t see how that fixes the argumentation fallacy. Moreover, while Silica is a paramount nutrient to health and well-being, it is not considered to be something that we need to supplement. Because we generally on average get enough of that from food already [R, R].

Then it’s that Zinc part. And as far as I can tell, the ideas of “collagen-repairing enzymes in your body are all zinc-based” and “zinc also helps slow the breakdown of collagen in your body” are all true. Still, it’s not a reason to say that typical Collagen supplements without this mineral will be ineffective. Furthermore, it really isn’t a must to have in a Collagen supplement if we’re getting the element from a proper multivitamin anyway (which I feel absolutely should be the case) [R, R].

Thus, overall, I feel the Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens is not as “break-through” as they try to paint it to be.

A Bunch Of Potential Benefits; Still It’s A Mystery How Many Will Go Through

That said, let’s do, however, look into the actual benefits of Collagen and how that corresponds to what the Collagen supplement of Organixx promises. And despite the often likely small amounts of the added other ingredients, let’s look into the potential of those, too.

So, as far as Collagen goes, it’s actually all somewhat legit. All of the proposed benefits have a referenced study or two. And each of those studies feeds on the likely benefits of Glycine which is the amino acid most abundant in Collagen. So, yes, it seems that Collagen may truly go far beyond just potential benefits to hair, skin, and nails [R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R].

But I wouldn’t necessarily count on that as these studies are mostly done on rats. So, there might be something there but, by all means, we can’t tell for sure yet and that’s something to be explored [R].

As for the joint health, I’ve never seen Collagen as a profoundly effective option for that. Sure, it can help. However, there’s much more to get out of a proper Turmeric Curcumin supplement in that regard [R, R].

Acerola Cheery goes by many names; it’s also known as the Barbados Cherry or the West Indian Cherry. It is a type of fruit that’s extremely abundant in vitamin C and all kinds of phytonutrients, including flavonoids. And with that, it can improve the immune system, promote digestive and metabolic health, aid skin and hair health, as well as bless with anti-cancer, anti-fungal, anti-microbial, and anti-aging properties among other benefits [R, R, R, R, R, R].

Camu Camu is another berry extremely abundant in vitamin C. In its essence, it’s a powerful mixture of phytochemicals, amino acids, and various minerals. And through that, it can support the immune system, improve liver health, enhance mood, boost gut, oral, and gum health, protect vision and eyes, as well as among other stuff just in general be a very powerful anti-inflammatory .

As for Fulvic Acid, it’s an active chemical compound that’s known as “nutrient booster”. It augments the absorption of certain nutrients (Collagen not one of them) and helps to use them better. Additionally, it can also nourish the digestive tract, protect the brain, promote the immune system’s function, support detoxification, lower inflammation, fight cancer and free radical damage, reduces pain, repair skin, and even provide energy among other benefits [R, R, R, R, R, R, R].

Zinc Gluconate is an amino acid chelate form of Zinc. It’s a form that’s arguably one of the best ones in terms of absorption. However, only 2 mg – that’s not a lot. Whereas Pyridoxine Hydrochloride is a form for vitamin B6 typically when the manufacturer really doesn’t care. It’s a weak form, often for our bodies hard to mold into usable B6, which for some people, due to genes is impossible. So, they won’t find any benefit in it .

As for the Organic Horsetail, according to the label, they don’t offer that. They only extract Silica from it. So, I feel discussing the potential benefits of Horsetail here, it’s not fully appropriate. Thus, we won’t.

Overall, yeah, I mean, it would be great and all. It’s just that each of these in the Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens supplement is pretty scarce. And so, as I mentioned, they may bring some of those benefits. But it, without a doubt, won’t be the full spectrum of them. Just some at best.

Additives… How Well Does The Clean Sourced Collagen Manage Them?

Sadly, the ingredients that are all about helping us reap benefits are not always the only ones we get to find in a supplement. In truth, in about 99% of the cases, we also inevitably get substances known as additives or the other ingredients.

These represent the additions that are present not for the wanted benefit, substance or whatever. No, these are the ingredients added to supplements to make them easy to consume (tablets, capsules, etc.), make them have a certain color or flavor, or make them possess other certain qualities.

They can often be extremely harmful, especially in the long run. And with that, they can bother our health quite a bit. But the right kind ones will do none of that. They will be as harmless as warm water to our skin. Other times, they can even be beneficial .

So, the choice and quality of them make a profound difference. Whereas as far as the Organixx Clean Sourced Collagens go, it’s among that one percent that doesn’t use any. At least that’s the case as far as promotional materials and rather blurry product images I was able to come across online go.

Hence, while the potential benefits are there, it’s done without any concern or thought for potential side effects. Which is always a good thing.

The Disparity Between On-Page And All Other Reviews Is Huge; Certainly Unnatural

Now, let’s switch gears a little bit. We’ve discussed every single ingredient but I don’t think that’s enough. Let’s take into account also the perspective of the global success rates (through customer reviews).

On the Clean Sourced Collagens of Organixx description page, there are quite a bit of customer reviews. And to that end, the supplement is unlike what we’ve seen with supplements like Skinny Fit Super Youth or Code Age Multi Collagen. Meaning, at least superficially the supplement of this review also embraces negative feedback and doesn’t just delete it or edit it out.

In total, there are 530 reviews on the manufacturer’s page at the time of writing this article. Of these, we are looking at 516 positive ones (3-, 4-, and 5-star) and just 14 negative ones (1- and 2-star). Which, to be honest, is unnaturally positive. I mean, this would mean that the global success rate arguably exceeds 97.4%.

Which is bonkers and far more positive than what we’ve seen from many other viable brands.

However, I feel this is not the whole story. Especially, given that the reviews I managed to gather across all other sellers and retailers show a completely different image.

According to those, 97.4% is a RIDICULOUS exaggeration as the actual global success rate seems to not overhead 85%. Out of a total of 86 reviews (yeah, it’s mostly Amazon; others in this regard are lacking), I found almost as many negative ones but far fewer positive ones – 13 and 73, respectively. Which leaves us at 84.9%

And that is a massive difference between what we had on the manufacturer’s page (12.5% apart). So, it’s likely that even though Organixx tries to appear to be completely honest with this, they’re likely actually not.

So, I would be very careful about what I read on their page in terms of customer feedback.

That said, I do, however, believe that that 84.9 % is quite unjust. This is because there are many people that are complaining about the fact (and thus, giving low ratings) that the container is half full. To me, that’s alien. I mean, what does it matter that the container is only half full if you’re still getting what the label says your getting which is 30 servings per container?

To that end, I feel if we were to remove those, we’re confidently looking at something slightly above 90%. Which is about in the same range that many other viable brands land in.

So, is the Organixx Collagen ultimately worth the investment?

Just Not A Fan Of Their Approach; Other Than That There’s Nothing Inherently Bad

Well, for one they’re trying to sell really hard. All those talks about how other supplements are useless because they don’t add vitamin C, Zinc, Silica, and whatnot. The quantity packs and extra 10% off if we buy a number of them and subscribe. And the 365-day money-back guarantee. All are great strategies to persuade people into buying.

But is that actually worth the heavy investment we will have to make for it?

I feel there’s nothing inherently bad about the Organixx Collagen. Quality beneficial ingredients. Likely solid Collagen amounts. No additives. As far as they emphasize it, they’re even doing third-party testing. Still, I don’t think that’s enough to make up for what I feel are the subtle inaccuracies of facts in their promotional materials. And, yes, the price.

I mean, I believe most people will not check the facts. And thus, they’ll likely be misled and hence, lured into an illusion of what it actually takes from a proper Collagen supplement. And that can be harmful. Truly.

Ideally, we should always build on a proper multivitamin. And only then add a Collagen to that mix. And choosing such an approach will inherently render any supposed advantages (though they’re not real advantages) of the added extra nutrients 100% meaningless (and overpriced).

As for that Collagen part, if you are looking for something truly value, I believe this (review) is currently one of the best options on the market. And I would personally prefer it over this Organixx thing 10 times out of 10.

Above all, I hope this Organixx Collagen review helped you find the information you were looking for. But if not, definitely let me know in the comments on how I could further improve it.

If you have as much as 15-30 seconds to spare, even one line in the comments helps a ton and will be highly and sincerely appreciated.

See you in another article!

Cheers, Stay Healthy & Have a Great One!

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hayleycanalscapstoneblog · 3 years ago

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Journalism Research: Interview with Emily Allen from the Mountain State Spotlight

Hi, I don't know if I could hear you. Sometimes I have an issue with zoom where I don't get the other person's audio so if it doesn't pop up, I can always call you instead. Okay, wait, try now.

What about now?

Yeah, I can hear you.

Okay, good. Cool. Awesome.

Yeah. How are you doing?

Doing? Well, how are you?

I'm good. It's a little early for me.

Yeah, it's weird. Like, I've never had to use interview questions written by somebody else. But because it's like a research project with a bunch of people. We're kind of like, given our blueprint for this.

And what is this for your in your senior or your graduate? I'm a senior, and it's for my capstone class. So we're doing a big collaborative project, kind of to help us get an idea of what getting a job is going to be like, once we leave.

Sure. Yeah. Big world. Yeah, for you.

How long ago did you graduate?

Um, I graduated from the University of Minnesota like 2018.

Okay, cool.

I'm glad I'm talking to somebody who was recently here.

Yeah, no, it's still fresh in my mind.

Yeah. Are you from Minnesota?

No, we moved around a lot. But I did school up there. So I kind of stayed in the Midwest before I got my job in West Virginia.

Yeah, cool. I got you. Well, I'll jump into it, because they gave me a lot. But you don't need to like elaborate if it's a pretty basic question, just because, I mean, they really just gave me quite a list. And can I record?

Yeah, yeah, totally. Thanks for checking.

Yeah, in North Carolina, you like don't technically have to ask people. But whenever I'm talking to somebody out of state, I don't want to know, you know, I think just in general, too. It's good practice to let them know if you're on the record, you're recording.

And it's an easy way just to be like, Can I quote you?

Yeah, true. Yeah.

Yeah. The weirdest people will have like, you know, the need to say no, like, managers. Yeah. Well, apparently, if you work for Taco Bell, you can't do interviews. I found out so.

Okay. Yeah, that's a couple of corporations.

Anyways, so how would you classify the type of journalism you do? Would you say it's like watchdog journalism, civic journalism? I'm just curious what specification specification you give it.

Um, I think watchdog and civic are both good terms. I mean, I should clarify. So I've been here with balancing spotlight and since June, and it's a nonprofit, and I think both those adjectives work well for it. Yeah. But I daily newsrooms before it. So I always think, with the jobs that I've had, it's been a civic duty. But this is the first time that we've really, for me, done, you know, kind of the watchdog accountability, not just quoting people what they say. But following up and adding extra content and verifying.

That's really cool. And that's kind of the type of journalism I want to get into myself. So watchdog civic, nonprofit, more or less?

Yeah, I'm really bad at like the adjectives that come with this because I literally to paper radio and now, I'm in a nonprofit. I think all those are accurate and when there's like a description on our website, I mean, I, I do I think personally, my job is more community based to I don't know what that term. But I mean, it just goes beyond press releases and press conferences and basic interviews. Yeah, I don't know how to grab that. I'm probably not making sense.

No, that that totally makes sense. Yeah, yeah. I was talking to some people at the devil strip last year. And they're a co op, so very, like community based. And just got a strong sense of what that means for them. Like, knowing the readers in person created a lot of that meaning. So what motivates you to do this type of journalism?

Um, different things on different days, I think. I mean, right now with the job I have, so I'm kind of an out state reporter. I don't cover you know, Charleston, I go out like I was in Dodd Ridge County yesterday, which is extremely rural and farther north. And I think it's really just a, I like talking to people that I've never met before. I like dealing with strangers. I like, you know, learning new things. And even when the job gets really hard, and I'm asking really, like rough questions, and I'm dealing with, kind of hard to interview, you know, public officials, I think I always think back well, I wouldn't want to stop what I'm doing. Because tomorrow or next week, I'm going to go meet so and so or I'm going to go here this. I think it's that kind of a thing.

Yeah. So the base is like in Charleston?

Yes. Yeah, we don't have we're all on the boat for now, because they took off during a pandemic. And I've been here since June. But we're all in Charleston. Yeah. But we travel out for things as necessary. I'm traveling every week, so Okay, mileage is great. Yeah. Do they give you gas? Yeah, yeah, mileage we get reimbursed. So I used to work for public broadcasting. And it was the same way that you got a safe car. And it's kind of awkward, whatever works. on devices in the middle of nowhere where we can't get cell service or anything. to step up, yeah.

One of the one of the questions they were wanting us to ask is like, what other forms of journalism you've been involved with, and then like, kind of how long you've been out in the field. Just what that journey has looked like for you?

Sure. Um, so I graduated in 2018. And immediately after that, like, I didn't even walk the stage. I just went to North Dakota, because I got a job at the Grand Forks Herald, which they're still daily, they stopped printing after I left, they do a Sunday edition and a Wednesday edition. But when I was there, they printed every day, which is like amazing, like just that, that that kind of thing can happen. I covered city government for Grand Forks, which is the city in North Dakota, but across the river, we had East Grand Forks in Minnesota, they also covered their government. And I helped with state house coverage, and sometimes regional stuff, but not a lot. I really just stayed where I land. And then I applied to report for America, which is what I still am in. And they hooked me up with a job in West Virginia, which is West Virginia public broadcasting. So I was full of yours, and I covered Southern West Virginia, sort of the same thing I'm doing now I'd go out there and then I also helped cover the State House. So the legislative session, the radio did well they put me on TV during the session, which wasn't great for me. So fun. And then this summer, my report for America term ended so two years, and I reapplied and got in here with the spotlight club and I'm doing less Statehouse coverage obviously it's I think what's really cool about us is we're not daily, so there's no paper to fill. There's no air show to fill. It's just the website, we do, I think we try to do like two to three stories a week. So it's regular content, you know, if something needs more time, or editors are pretty cool about understanding that and doing whatever it takes to better story out. I think what's also cool too is even though I'm just online exclusively, and that's sort of a thing, we let newspapers and radio stations and whatnot, republish our stuff for free. So sometimes, like I'm in a paper on the other side of the state and you know, I don't work with synthetically maybe.

Yeah, that's really cool. So, so like fully digital, with exceptions.

Yeah, I mean, it's up to that, like public broadcasting. They put a lot of our stuff on their website. I work with Douglas soul. He does a bunch of stuff, but he's mostly economic development. But he did this really big investigation into a sheriff's department in Rowan County, which is maybe an hour from here more rural, and their local paper ran it. So they give it an S run on our website, like people would have seen it, but maybe not a lot of people who live there. But because their paper chose to republish it, like that's something that their community is listening to and adhering to and talking about. Yeah, it was a tangent.

No, it's very interesting. So would you say you guys are local, or state level?

Yeah, I think Well, I mean, I'm here's local journalists. But it is weird because I don't live in a lot of the communities that I'm going to so I'd say state level. Yeah. We I mean, we have a lot. A lot. We're a small team, but we cover Charleston's I guess it's kind of locally based. I think it just depends. But state probably more. So we're not like local, local, or local.

Yeah, I was working for app voices. And I think they have an office up there. But I felt the same way. Because it like feels sort of local, but then, you know, we're not actually reporting on like the town we're in, so much as a regional thing. Okay, so what what would what would you say your specialty is currently?

Um, you mean like skills or what we put out or like you're...

like the topic you report on.

I'm kind of all over the place. Just because not eat is like, I think they call me community watchdog or something. So really, I mean, I pay attention to city council meetings, county commission meetings from where I'm at, or I travel, and I kind of just whatever they're talking about, we'll dive into. And sometimes I'll take something that's happening on the state level, or something that someone else has covered. And I'll bring it into a community and cover what's happening there. So like, it's hard to just like, explain that way. But through by way of example, like we had the huge opioid trial against the three big distributors in Huntington, but it happened in Charleston. So that was, I mean, nationally renowned, the state level news story, but there are like, hundreds of other smaller West Virginia communities that have lawsuits, and nothing's happening to them. So we that story, and I went to Mingo. County, on the Kentucky border, West Virginia, though, and just talked to them about what the opioid epidemic looks like out there. So that kind of a thing, just is I kind of cover all sorts of things, but it just has to have a really community that's chosen.

Yeah, that makes sense. So which, like areas specific qualifications or like journalistic qualifications, would you say are important to have like, for your kind of job?

Um, a lot of things, I think. I mean, being able to, I mean, organizationally, I like I think being organized is important, and being able to plan and stick to the plan of what you're about to report. But I think in terms of reporting, I don't want to just say interviewing, because that's really broad, but like, you know, being able to, you know, knowing how to interview public officials and people who are supposed to serve the public and holding them accountable, but also knowing how to interview like normal people. Because I especially like in our newsroom, and I'm really like, down with this, including, just like regular West Virginians who are impacted about things or like, curious about things you're concerned about things is really important to our work. Because it's something that people can relate to. So I think it's really important to know, like, how to identify real people in a way that's not like exploitive, and like, there are tons of ways to do it. It just depends on the context, but also knowing how to talk with them and being respectful, but getting the best story that you can. Yeah. So in terms of interviews, I think those two things are important public records, laws, even a daily journalism, if you're just aware of that as an area, it's really important. I would still like the more that I ease into this job, the more I learned about public records laws and how that works, but I think it's important just to do whatever you can to get whatever information is out there. And different information from what you know, other outlets might be able to get just by resources. And I think it's not really a skill but something that's really, really important, especially if you're a statewide news organization covering local rural communities keeping up with local news, because even though it's like, strapped like there are tons of local papers still throughout West Virginia. So just taking like an hour or two every day, just to Know what's happening in places and keeping tabs on that. I think it's I don't know if it's a skill, but I think it's really important to any job but this kind of specifically.

Yeah, I feel like that'd be a good like qualification or like, just habit to have doing that kindof work. Do you count yourself as like part of the target audience of the newspaper?

Like, am I a reader for Mountain State spotlights?

Yeah, yeah. Or like would you be even if you weren't working for them? I think so. I mean, it's weird because like, they're extremely new and we just celebrated a year but I've only been here since June. So I was like, I don't know if they were targeting me, but I was a reader and I benefited from their coverage before I came over here. Sure. I think I mean, I think we just target like West Virginians. I think this whether it's to inform them or to let you know somebody living in a community know what's going on in that community.

Do you do like digital? multimedia yourself?

Um, yeah, I guess we I don't have a camera. Like I've been I've taken public broadcasting. We learned a little bit on photography. So it some of that. I think it's important to be able to have some kind of art company in your work, especially digitally. Sorry, I have a cat.

I got this cat at a gas station. rehabilitating her and she's great, but she likes to climb the window screens and she's not ready to get out into the real world.

Did you find her there?

Yeah, yeah, we found her at a gas station and just took her and I'm very fortunate that she's healthy and well, she had fleas.

Via journalism, yeah, I mean taking photos, knowing what you're. And sometimes I think, especially if you're a reporter, and you're starting out, you don't have a lot of control about how your website looks like. So just knowing generally like small things that can make that more engaging, we're lucky we have a really, I think we have a really easy to follow a website, like local newspapers, despite like the quality of their work being really good, like, the websites can be really old. And it's just unfortunate because it's not as compelling or engaging to some people. But just knowing simple things that can make that look good. Like breaking up the copy with sub headers, like an easy headline, the kinds of sentences layout, I think that those things are important, too.

Yeah. So would you say your newsroom? is like, actively campaigning for more digital, like multimedia along with the work? Or is it just like if you can do it, go ahead and do it?

Like we? Yeah, I mean, I think it's a we're all pretty. Like we write we make sure we find our art, we come up with the headlines. Something, it's kind of like, it's a lot because nobody signs up for it. But it is really important. They can come up with our social media copy to like, what are tweets going to say a bunch of technical stuff, that I don't know the words, but like when you see an article on Twitter, like making sure that paragraph a little light one under it is it fits in it makes sense. And it's the accurate characters and with like Google searches, we already do that. And I think it's important because you don't have a paper to fill. It's not like this is the first place typically where people are going to see us. So making sure you can do all you can to build that out. Is is important to us. And it's been important since I started I don't think anybody's like fighting to do that. I mean, obviously better at the more time goes on.

Yeah. Okay, so to pivot away from Digital journalism. And kind of back to something you were saying earlier about, like representing just an ordinary people as well. Do issues of inclusivity and representation come up a lot in your work.

Coverage?

Yeah, for coverage, or like, for, just like the general ethics of what the organization is trying to achieve?

Yeah, I mean, it's so it's weird, just in general, because we don't have an office. So we meet regularly over, we don't have to, because we did have those conversations in my last two jobs. But I remember it was always something that happened in the physical workplace. It is, I mean, when we're individually, I guess, as a newsroom, that's not something that we haven't had a lot of that yet. But when I'm working on copy, and I assume like, I guess I can just be myself, when my editor is looking over something, and we're planning who we're going to reach out with, I think that comes up. And I think for any story. I mean, you want to talk to somebody who, you know, has a compelling story, and is going to be easy to read. And you know, obviously there's somebody worth quoting. But you also want somebody who's representative of what, you know, the thing you're counting on is so if it's like the opioid epidemic, you want to talk to somebody who's been dealing with substance use disorder, if it's like racial inequity, or inequality, like you want to talk to somebody who's on the other end of that you don't want to interview like, just a bunch of white people at like a Black Lives Matter protests. So sometimes, that's common sense. Because it's being you know, taught to us that it is something that when we're planning stories, we make sure to the best of our ability, and sometimes there's a time crunch. You know, to the best of our ability, we make sure we talk to people who are you know, can actually speak to what you're recording on, which is why I think that, you know, the importance of like, the like regular person is so important, because public officials can say they're doing whatever they want, solve these problems. I mean, they're not experiencing

Yeah. How do you? How do you make sure that you're humanizing people and not like tokenizing them?

I think that's a really good question that like, I get really anxious whenever I run a story with because it's super important to have regular people, but I'm also really scared. Like, and maybe this is like, thinking too highly of myself. But like, I've seen how you know, in daily journalism, if you're doing these crime stories, where you run some of these mug shots, and their name, years later, when they're doing well, they can’t get a job because of it, you know. Also Yeah, tokenizing is dehumanizing. I think it just, I mean, obviously, you want it to be a newsworthy story and something worth reporting on. So if it's a topic that's important, make sure the person that you're talking to, is fully aware of what you're going to say about them. Because they there's no reason to do gotcha journalism with a normal person. Um, but also make sure like when they're consenting, they know what they're consenting to. And like don't talk them out of like speaking with you, but How to like just, I don't know. So for the same Mingo county story with the opioid epidemic, I mean, we did talk to people who were in recovery from substance use disorder. And they work on this quick response team, like the language differs from state to state, but these are the people that you know, after an overdose happens. Typically they work for the health department or, you know, emergency response, and they go out there and they try to connect the person was overdosed and has been saved to like treatment options. So like a recovery home or inpatient, outpatient, and they just give them resources to keep up with them. So somebody in that team was dealing with recovery. And I mean, I was nervous, but I also felt confident speaking with her, but she was very well, but she was saying, and she'd done this, like, you know, interviews kind of before. And she's in a, you know, better place, and she's aware of what her name being out there means. So I just think it's important to have people like that I think something else that's really important that newsrooms at our newsroom like, I mean, I don't know if we're perfect because you know, he can sometimes you just have to be told you're doing it wrong to understand that so far, we're really good at people first language. And it really it just depends on when you're talking to someone how they wish to be described, but you know, you don't say, like an addict, you say somebody is dealing with addiction. Rather, you say somebody who's dealing with substance use disorder. It just depends. So speaking about people as people first, you know, when you're dealing with jails or prisons, like incarcerated, people aware, versus inmates, I think that's really important for treating people like and I don't know if like, readers who aren't dealing with this issue, notice that kind of stuff, but I think it does make a difference. And, I mean, it kinda reminds people that you're talking to people?

Yes, no, definitely really important. Yeah, I feel like I, I definitely noticed that in stories when I read them, for sure.

Have you personally encountered hate groups or hate speech? In your reporting or while reporting?

Oh, um, I have not. I mean, I think members of hate groups who sometimes you go to events and there but I have not had the opportunity to cover that. At this point. I know, people who have I know it sucks and their concerns, but that's not something that I have a lot of.

Do you think other watchdog journalists like? Is that something that they frequently would deal with? Or?

I think it depends. So I'm in reporting for America. And they are in for four or five of us in the state. I'm not sure. So most of those are in my organization here. There's one reporter in Morgantown where WVU is and he works for 100 days in Appalachia, which is another really good. They're good. They prefer to but he covers I think his beat specifically is white supremacy. But he's done, you know, he goes out and talks to the covers, that kind of thing. So he's exclusively that and additionally taking pictures for other stuff, cuz he's a really good photographer. I mean, he certainly brings like a watchdog aspect to it. And I think it just depends. I mean, there's so many things to cover with that kind of washed up. I like that is something that definitely should be covered and needs to be covered for just in general. But I don't know if anybody in my organization, I'd have to go back. I definitely know their stories really good comes up. But that exclusively not not yet for me, but I can't speak for my colleagues.

I still think it's especially with because I went to school in Minneapolis. So there were I interned at the paper up there and they had a lot of coverage. When, you know, when these protests were happening after the police killed George Floyd. Yeah, there were groups that were actually coming out here that were not involved with that at all. And so these people that I used to intern with had to learn very fast what Voodoo boys were and yeah, they're still covering some of those criminal trials. So it's just interesting. I still think it's being covered now and I think I it's definitely something where we live in West Virginia, Appalachia. In general, but it's not something that I've dug into, like, I just read about it, and I go, oh my god, that's terrible. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe I'm just associating it with a few years ago, cuz there's a few incidents like at our university when I like first came here. And I feel like I was feeling it more on a local level, whereas, uh, not so much anymore. But yeah, it's definitely, of course still there.

Okay, well, would you say? I mean, if you don't have the experience, like having encountered it before, I don't know if you'd know about the ideal way to address it. But have you heard from any colleagues, how they would go about addressing and countering hate speech while reporting?

It's not really a conversation we've had I mean, I know in general, like in classes, I've had an experiences I've had, I think it's true, the lot of things. If it's, I mean, because like, you know, when you ask if we take a stance, like all the way back, like we don't side with people other than, you know, our readers and what's best, but I do think it's pretty, like, universal, that, hey, groups are wrong, and some of these things are bad. offensive and, and just hateful. So I mean, I think and I have no experience in this, but just, especially with things like vaccine misinformation in the election. It's important, I mean, to cover it, and to let people know what's going on, but to not validate it. Yeah. Like, I don't have a lot to elaborate on it. So I haven't had to deal with that. Yeah, I don't know what the best way to do. But I think it's really important just to, you know, somebody says something, like not just running something, because it's a good quote, because it could be hateful, and it might be harmful to your readers. Just in general, like I assume that applies that kind of thing, too. But I was like the election or mental health or, I mean, just anything, like just being responsible about what you run and not running it just because it's catchy, but just making sure that it's important. Yeah, so not validating what they stand for is important. You're governing that. Yeah.

Okay. Thanks for teasing that out with me. I guess like, I only have two more questions, but do you have like a professional position that you're like, aspiring to fill?

Um, I really like what I do. Now. I really, I mean, I just have a I have a cool job, I get to drive out to places and talk to people I haven't met before and learned a bunch of things I don't know. But also, at the end of the day, when I put out a story that just looks good, and it feels good. And I feel like I've got things different from other outlets. It feels really important. I'm like, I am doing something that makes a difference. Yeah. So I don't know I like what I do. Now. I I want to keep being a reporter. I think especially in this industry to I don't know I there's so many people, I do just want to get into like national stuff after this. It's, it's you feel like there are more and more people. I don't know what your interests and aspirations are. But I think like there are more people who were like, wow, like, local journalism is actually kind of cool. And there are things you can do with this. And maybe we need more voices in these matters of interest, like national outlet.

I think there's a lot of it just depends. And we're a new state level organization. So you know, a lot of my job, especially because I go out to places where I mean, people don't go to Charleston a lot. So when I introduce myself, I also have to explain my news organizations, they have never heard of it. But typically, if you're working for like a local news outlet, or even a public broadcasting, like, I feel like there's more trust there, regardless of who you're talking to them sometimes like national outlets. Even when you are a state level news organization, going into a more local community. It's just I don't I don't know that feels good. Like, you feel like you're on their side. Yeah. Like, I live here. It does suck, though, like pay disparities and some really, really local jobs, especially legacy print, but on a extremely local level. I think that is kind of why it's viewed as a stepping stone. And maybe something more sustainable needs to happen there.

And I think sometimes national outlets they don't like they don't understand what they're saying is probably going to come off as offensive or harmful to the community. So yeah, I mean, even if you can't live like directly in the community, you're covering the closest you can get to it. And the more you live there, and the more you keep in touch, like I think it's really important. And I mean with some daily stories you can't do this book longer form stuff like what we do like to keep in touch with people even after you write with them, and you're out there continuously. I mean, in a professional way, but I mean, they're they're human beings, they're not characters, so I think that's

Yeah, definitely just like, establishing trust and relationships. Do you have anything else you want to add? I I think I've kind of hit everything.

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altoonapubliclibrary · 6 years ago

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Off The Shelf: ShariAnn reads...

Sticking with my Personal Brand™ of reading a series well after its publication: I’ve finished what has been published of the Shatter Me Series. The covers have intrigued me since the first novel was published--they’re so striking and beautiful! I wish I could give you all some reason why I never picked them up but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ there isn’t one.

I started and stopped the first book a few times because I tried to start it during my book hangover from the Red Queen series and I just wasn’t ready for another dystopia. Once I was ready to move on though, I didn’t want to stop reading. Mafi’s style is strikingly poetic and made it easy for me to imagine the scenes as I was reading; almost like watching a film play out. Side note: I’ve just done some investigating and it looks like Shatter Me has been optioned for a TV program and I’m trying very hard to be calm about that information. Anyway, back to the writing. I would read literally anything Tahereh Mafi has written. Grocery list, instruction manual, math textbook? Sign me UP.

The Shatter Me series features tons of my YA Lit favorites: a love triangle, a rebellion, a kickass protagonist who has to learn to be kickass and isn’t just magically born that way, and characters who are flawed just like the rest of us. Also an amazing comic relief character, Kenji, who I love so much I *almost* wish he were a love interest. But that would make the romance way more dramatic than it already is. My favorite part of the series is unsurprisingly, the romance. Right away we are introduced to two love interests: Adam and Warner. At first glance, it seems like a no-brainer. Adam is the better guy and also not the bad guy. But then we learn more about Warner. And boy is it hard to hate him. Props to Mafi for making me feel so many different ways about his character (in case anyone is wondering I now love Warner almost as much as I love my cat, Callie). And Juliette. Wow. Talk about my favorite protagonist! She grows from a timid, quiet girl into a powerful, awe-inspiring woman who stands up for herself. And this transformation happens gradually, not overnight, making her story all the more plausible. The teacher/grown-up side of me wants to give all the characters in this book a massive hug. These are a bunch of kids who were seriously neglected by the adults in their lives and that made me tear up a few times while reading. I would definitely recommend this series to older teen and young adult readers, as there are some pretty intense mental health/self-esteem, domestic abuse, and sexual themes in this series. If you are a young teen reading the series, and you have questions about things, know you can always talk to a grown-up you trust about them. Or even if you’re an older teen and you have questions: the same thing applies. Or you can do what I did when I was a teen, and consult the tumblr fandom. Though I don’t necessarily recommend that.

I’ve also learned that there are at least two more novels set after the most recent release, Restore Me, so now I have to wait until next year. I really thought I was reading a finished series but now I will be tortured with waiting for the next book, Defy Me, along with the rest of you. My soul is crying. To quote Juliette: “my emotions jump out of a plane.” So far Shatter Me series gets 5/5 superhuman abilities from me. I doubt Tahereh Mafi could do anything make me give the series less than that (ALTHOUGH THAT IS NOT A CHALLENGE PLS DON’T KILL MY FAVS).

#off the shelf #shariann's penultimate book review #Shatter Me #Tahereh Mafi #getting hooked on a series is rough #BUT WORTH IT #book covers #ya books #dystopian books #gotta love a good love triangle #character development ftw #love me a good complex character

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an-infinity-of-possibilities · 3 years ago

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every odd number for the weird asks, darling 🥂

Hey darling :) always happy to see you in my notes

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee mugs... Coffee addict here and my addiction also applies to coffee mugs

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum :)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? I don't really drink soda in general but when I do I prefer in glass cups :)

7. earbuds or headphones? Headphones :)

9. favorite smell in the summer? Hmm... That's a good one. I'll say sea side and rain? I don't know haha maybe my apple trees too

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? On average? coffee which isn't really breakfast but yeah... Sometimes smoothies

13. lanyard or key ring? Lanyard. I always lost my keys so I actually have three lanyards just so I won't lose them or let them out of my sight

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? As a school assignment? Either Mrs Dalloway or a book from Québec called Marie-Tempête

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Cheap black shoes from walmart. They are really comfortable but nothing special

19. sleeping position? On my left side? BUt I do move a lot in my sleep so yeah

21. obsession from childhood? Harry Potter, Anne of Green Gables and Princess Diaries

23. strange habits? I don't know ? NOthing comes to mind right now haha Bringing a book with me at all times?

25. first song you remember hearing? Either Bed of Roses or Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi... It definitely was a BOn Jovi song

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Staying inside with my blanket, a good book and hot cocoa. I shouldn't be Canadian.... I absolutely hate the cold. Can't stand it

29. best way to bond with you? Sharing music, book, movies :)

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh dear... Hmm power suits? I absolutely love suits. I probably have too many of them tbh

33. most used phrase in your phone? Probably "idk" haha or like sorry. Something like that

35. average time you fall asleep? When do I ever fall asleep? haha probably 2 am if I had to say an hour but my sleep schedule is a little messed up

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie :)

41. last person you texted? My friend about a book she told me to read a while back

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Can I say two? hahah I mean I am more often wearing hoodies because it's considered more appropriate to wear inside and I am always cold... But when I am outside I always have one of my leather jackets

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? All three? But if I had to pick only one absolutely? Fantasy

47. favorite type of cheese? I don't think I have a favourite type of cheese? I don't eat that much of it tbh

49. what saying or quote do you live by? It's actually a A.A Milne quote from Winnie the Pooh. Please don't judge. My mum surrounded me with Winnie stuff when I was younger. It's " You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Something I try to remind myself everyday.

51. current stresses? Life hahah Nah but seriously a bunch of little nothings. My flat, I am stressed my grades won'T be good this semester. My car ( which is fine and has been for over a month), my cat having difficulties getting used to the new place... Loads of small little things.

53. what is the current state of your hands? They are clean and I just put lotion on them so they smell like vanilla. B But also A mess? Haha Up until two weeks ago I was working not only a very physical job but also one that messed up my hands. I have cuts everywhere on them and even a new scar cause of it. They will be fine in a week or two :)

55. favorite fairy tale? Oh gosh that is a difficult one.... I would probably go with... The little mermaid tho? But it changes depending my mood

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Hmm.... That's a good one. Accepting who I am is one of them for sure. Standing up for myself ( I am better at it but still I could improve). Choosing my health over what I was expecting of myself. OVer my plans when I dropped out of uni

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? :O No idea, I don't feel I have any real catchphrase? I'D probably the sude character who curses a lot tho hahah

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Again good one. There's so many. I love quotes. I'll go with... " We accept the love we think we deserve" from Perks of being a wallflower. I mean... It's true. Anyways... In my experience it is. When my self esteem was at its lowest.... I dumped my very good girlfriend cause I thought I didn't deserve her love. That she was too good for me.. To end up with a guy who was a violent narcissistic asshole... I didn't wanna leave him cause I thought that was exactly what I deserved that I could never do better. I did leave him in the end. but yeah...

63. five songs that would play in your club? - Dancing Queen by Abba -Poor Some Sugar on me - Def Leppard -Every Time We Touch - Cascada ( Don't judge I have good party memories with that song ahah ) - The Ketchup Song - Las Ketchup (Cause memories hahah) - Believe - Cher

65. any permanent scars? Loads ahah I have a big one on my back that almost goes from side to side from my heart surgery. I have one on my right side... again that surgery. It almost looks like a star. I have on my lip from when I was learning how to climb table when Mum wasn't looking. One on my finger from work when I was working in dried cranberries factory. One on my ankle from whe I fell in the ditch when learning how to bike without the little wheels. One on my knee cause I am just that talented that I fall over nothing x) A new one on my hand from work... Seriously the list goes on hahha but I do have scars.

67. good luck charms? My necklace. I never take it off unless I absolutely have to. It used to be my mum's but she gave it to me when I was going through a rough patch in high school.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Hmm... Nothing comes to mind? Sorry If I ever think of something I will be sure to let you know

71. least favorite pattern? Polka dot? I don't know hahha

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Cheese and maple syrup? haha

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I don't remember? I was in elementary school for sure... But I do remember the dentist had to take it out himself cause I had waited too much before I told anyone my tooth was moving hahha

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? My cacti? haha

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? School. On my Driver's license I look like a murderer

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies

83. writing or drawing? Both? hahaha BUt writing if I have to choose

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology. Both are great but... Mythology is the best

87. your greatest fear? Spiders? But if we're talking about like... Life fears? NOt being enough

89. who would you put before everyone else? My little brother. My little sister ( sometimes) and my parents.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes

93. nicknames? Fae, Fa, Fancy, Fancy Rodger, Roger.

95. favorite app on your phone? Music app haha I mean I cannot live without music soooo

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? At least a dozen? Mostly cause everyone in the family has the same phone number since forever.... I have no memory whatsoever so I am even surprised I know these ones.

Thank you for these asks Darling :) There was a lot but I enjoyed writing them haha Took me a while. I had an hectic week but I promise I love these things I am just very bad at timing my stuff haha

#Again thank you #As always I adore you #Hope it doesnt bore you to death haha

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fuck-customers · 7 years ago

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Tl;Dr I worked with the worst person I or anyone else may ever know...

This is a long, epic of a Fuck co-worker story. So let me begin to tell you all about the worst person I had ever met in my entire life, and my experience in hell working with him. When I was hired in, i didn't think much of him. He was loud, kind of obnoxious, but I didn't think anything horrible. My opinion changed entirely very quickly. For starters; this guy was 19. 3 years younger than me at the time I was hired. My manager showed me the ropes, and I was in charge of cleaning the cafe of the gas station, for the most part. There was a chore list for both registers, listing all the jobs of each shift. I would go about doing my chores exactly like I was shown by the boss lady. This kid would start giving his two cents on what I was doing whenever i was doing something... I was doing it wrong. I should do it like this. Like that. Like this. It was annoying at first, but I sucked it up because I don't want to cause drama in the work place. It kept happening for weeks. Then he moved onto doing my dishes for me. I figured alright, I get a break from dishes. But then he makes me do the outside trashes, and chores listed for his register, that should have been done earlier in his shift, (I am a mid shifter. I come in later and leave at midnight) and then still a bunch in my own chore list. I hated the trash, but a break from scalding my hands in dish water was alright... It was not alright, though. I heard from my other co worker that it wasn't my job to do the trash outside, or the other things he told me I had to. He just pushed his responsibilities onto the new hire. So boss talked to him, and that was that for now... then the trash stopped being done, as well as his other chores that he was making me do. I went about my way doing my chores while chatted up the customers, talking about himself, giving weird and unsoliscited compliments to girls of all ages, just schmoozing and making everyone uncomfortable. He would go on and on about himself, telling the same stories, trying to force pity out of every single customer. He would say stuff like he couldn't afford lunch today, when just earlier he would brag about his social security check being 600$, and about his new Dr. Dre speaker pill. (He worked full time and got 600$ ssi... for "bi-polar." As someone with Borderline, aspergers, depression, severe anxiety, and other shit combined into a cocktail of insecurities and dysfunction, I was disgusted that he was bragging about it while I could barely even work 3 days a week without a massive meltdown... this guy didn't help.) Anyway. His chores would not get done, and he just hammed it up to people who were visibly repulsed. (Whenever he went on break people would come up yo me like "Thank god he isn't here, I didn't want to check out with him." Both men and women. He would shoo male customers away to flirt with the women. Even women who were there with their boyfriends. He would say classic neckbeardy things, ask ladies about thier boyfriends, and then complain to us that these bitches go only for jerks and that he is such nice guy. In the summer he would also make comments about how hard it was working when he kept getting boners watching little girls in shorts... He was so gross, and no customer liked him. For good reason, as you can tell by now..) So when boss confronted him about it, my good co worker friend overheard.... Now. I let my work place know up front that I have aspergers. It's not an excuse or a crutch, I just want people to understand me a little better. He blamed my aspergers for his work not being done. He said "I couldn't leave her alone at the register!" And my boss didn't do anything about his remarks. Just told him to do his shit... He never did. And I never did anything for him. I confronted him about it next time I worked with him because I was offended and livid that he said that. I was nothing but friendly, even though he rubbed me the wrong way. He started insulting me. Calling me unprofessional for bringing this into work, saying I was unfit and incompetent, and how i shouldn't bring personal stuff into my job. After that exchange I was holding back tears, albeit not very well. I wanted to die inside. After that I ignored his existence. Whenever he said something to me, I wouldn't reply, I didn't care if he didn't do his shit, I just kept my head down and did my own work. He kept blaming me to everyone we worked with.... And that hate rubbed off on another co worker too. (She complained about me not doing my job while simultaneously complaining that I only did the cafe area... that I was hired in to do. She also straight up told me she would hate to have a child with autism. That hurt too. But I feel bad for her brother... Who kept calling him her sister. He is trans and she said, and I quote, "I don't see her as a man until she grows a pair of balls.") I wish it ended there, but I had a wedding to attend in PA for my aunt. I requested two weeks off so I could head up there and have time with my family. He didn't like that. The day I was scheduled to come back he turned the grill on as high as it could go, piled on hotdogs and taquitoes, scorched the hell out of them, squeezed out all the fats and fillings, threw that food away when it was all dried out, put new food on the grill to do the same, and bragged about it to the good co worker... She told me about it and it took 2 hours to scrape clean... I was just on vacation. And he did that. I tried to get a petition going around listing everything he had done since he started because he has done all that, and countless more things, even racking up as many points it took to get fired, but all the store director did was tell him "Try not to do anything else and you can stay." He even made sexual remarks about another employee, and after she turned him down he spread lies to customers saying she was a slut... for not dating him... (Girls he went to school with would talk about him, too. One said he spread a lie in highschool after she got strep throat and had to miss school, he said that she got sick from giving so much head. After she turned him down, also, might I add.) One night when this girl worked with him, the good co worker was there, too. He wanted to punch out, but they refused to let him until he did his chores. How did he respond? This 6'7 behemoth grabbed this 5 foot tiny girls atm and twisted it behind her back until she was on the ground crying. Good co worker got him to stop and told the store director, but the girl quit after that night and refused to say anything after. Physical harm to another employee? That wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back. What was? He hit on an 11 year old girl. Mama bear came barging in and cussed his ass out and then called corporate. Store director came in and escorted him out. I and everyone else was relieved that this cancer was finally gone! Even customers came in smiling. Every other one said they finally felt safe to shop here again. Tales spread of his reign of terror finally ending... He applied to other gas stations but one of my friends who works at one of them down the road said that as soon as they read his name that they threw out his resume. (This kid is also banned from the chain sub shop in down. Which is honestly hilarious. This isn't even everything that he has done or said, either. He would always brag about his body. Or his future job that would get him over 200k a year. Etc;... How he got transferred to the Gas station is another story, as well as when he first worked for the store itself and begged for a job again. He is also a die hard Trump supporter, and was incredibly transphobic to a transgirl that worked with us, too. He was a menace ) Though he still comes into my gas station and talks to the newer employees like he is such hot shit... But I tell them the truth. (He still can't find work even after a year. I'm glad.)

#trigger warning #submissions #happy ending #fuck co-workers #fuck coworkers #fuck managers #submission

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andrewdburton · 4 years ago

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Finding a millionaire money mentor

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

You've probably heard that saying before. It's from motivational speaker Jim Rohn. He used it as a way to encourage people to learn and grow from others' experiences, habits, attitudes, and so forth. He wanted folks to seek out and spend time with people of high quality.

Unfortunately for most people, this advice can be difficult (if not impossible) to implement.

That's because we tend to group with like-minded people, which includes hanging out with friends with similar levels of success. Those who are unmotivated often spend time with others who are unmotivated. And those who are motivated by achievement tend to associate with others at a similar level.

When you resolve to improve yourself — to become smarter or fitter or wealthier — it can be tough to find new friends with a similar desire. It can be difficult to change the five people you spend the most time with.

Today, I want to talk about finding a money mentor.

Seeking a Money Mentor

Let's say you're a new business owner and you want to hang out with successful business people to learn their secrets. Do they want to hang with you? Probably not.

Even if you knew five successful business owners, it might be tough to get them to share their experience. That's because — you guessed it — they're probably hanging out with other successful business people.

Or let's say you want to learn podcasting. What are the chances you'll create a mastermind with Tim Ferriss, Joe Rogan, and three other high-flying audio experts? Your odds are slim. Honestly, your odds are zero. These folks are out there being friendly with each other in the stratosphere. They're not likely to spend their time with a new podcaster who is just starting out.

Or say you want to date a lovely, fit, out-going, friendly, charismatic lady or man but you're awkward, out of shape, disagreeable, and surly. You aren't going to connect with a single person (pun intended) like this — much less five of them!

I even see this principle at work in the pickleball world. [J.D.'s note: John is a pickelball fanatic. When I had lunch with him in July, we had to schedule around his multiple pickelball matches that day haha.] New and inexperienced players want to play with much better players so they can get better. But the better players want to play with each other (for the challenge).

Unfortunately it's the same way with money. And no one knows this better than me.

I was young when I first heard Jim Rohn's adage about being the average of the people you spend the most time with. At the time, I was interested in growing my wealth. “I need to find some friends who know something about money!” I thought. “I need to find a money mentor — or five.”

I started paying attention to people in my life who fit that description.

First, I looked to my family but there was no one who made the cut. We were lower middle-class most of my life and generally lived paycheck to paycheck.

Next, I turned to my friends and saw a group just like me — a bunch of people who were clueless with money.

Finally, I considered work acquaintances. But again, I couldn't find anyone I thought I could confide in who was good with money. Most of my co-workers had high salaries, but they didn't know how to manage the money they earned.

Ultimately, I decided I'd dig deep into my “network” (which was razor thin to begin with). I wanted to make a list of people I knew even slightly who were wealthy and/or good with money.

I still remember everyone on that list to this day. Here it is:

__________________

That's right: No one. My list was blank.

And how was I even supposed to know a wealthy person? I was a fresh-out-of-graduate-school executive who was fresh-out-of-small-town-Iowa a few years earlier. If it was possible to have a negative number of network connections, I was there. If it was possible to be greener than green, that was me.

Five Wealthy Friends

I had to create my own group of five wealthy “friends”. (I put that in quotes for a reason which will become clear in a moment.) Here's where I found them.

Books

My first wealthy “friends” were money manuals. I started to devour and apply almost any money-related book I could find. My “best friend” happened to be Thomas Stanley, who wrote The Millionaire Next Door. I read his book, applied what he said, and my wealth grew.

I found other friends in books, as well. I read everything I could from every type of author.

Of course, I had to plow through a lot of junk to mine the gold nuggets. Even as a newbie, I could tell what was trash (like “no money down” real estate books). In time, the good stuff stuck with me.

Magazines

Remember magazines? They were like mini-books you could have mailed to your house each month. (Oh, the good old days. Ha!)

This was in the olden days before the internet, so magazines were my only option for money articles. I subscribed to three money magazines for many years: Money, Kiplinger's, and Smart Money.

Again, there was lots of junk (e.g., each month there was another “Seven Great Stocks to Own Now” sort of article) but I navigated my way through the crap and kept some good stuff.

Other Money Novices

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king, right?

Well, believe it or not, my wife and I started coaching people at our church early in our marriage. We didn't know much, but we knew more than most. We did budget coaching: how to set up a budget, how to track spending, how to balance the budget, etc.

My wife and I actually got pretty good at this. We could take a family with minimal income and wild spending, then steer them to a balanced budget within two or three hours. Of course, there were hard choices for them to get to that point…

We saw some hideous spending practices, and we had multiple discussions with people trying to communicate Needs versus Wants versus Desires. (So many would try to justify Wants and Desires as Needs — like getting your nails done once a week was a Need. Yikes!)

Anyway, these people taught us…but in the opposite way of what we expected. They showed us what not to do with real life examples.

Writing

Over time, as our little bits of money knowledge accumulated, I developed a side hustle as a personal-finance writer.

You see the irony in this, right?

I held myself out as an expert — as did the magazines I wrote for. It works the same way with journalists these days. Perception is reality, right?

I did know more than most about money, and the publications I wrote for were more general interest versus hardcore money magazines, so it wasn't like I was giving advice on complex tax subjects.

Despite my shortcomings, I happened to be a great marketer (which is what I did for a living) and a decent enough writer (my wife was a brutal editor and made my stuff better, though I fought her changes most of the time) to keep myself pretty busy.

The financial writing became a side hustle. We did this for a few years, using all the money we earned to pay off our mortgage. (In those days, the rates were 8% or so, which made paying off your mortgage much more of a no brainer than today.)

While I wrote, I also researched and started to develop my own philosophy of managing money. My money knowledge and financial habits grew and developed.

After several years, we had our home paid off. This led to a 20+ year run of no debt. So I guess we were better off than most.

Blogging

Many years later, blogging became a thing. I started writing on the web in 2005.

This took my writing and money skills to a whole new level. Now people could comment on what I posted. They could (and did) ask me pointed questions about what I wrote.

This forced me to whittle down what I believed and what I didn't. If I got off track even a bit, my readers let me know it.

This also set the stage for my current site, ESI Money. After so many years of refining my message, I was able to focus my writing on what really mattered and throw away much of the rest.

Of course, these days there are a gazillion blogs and many financial sites, and I read several of them. That's how many people get their financial information. Unfortunately, a large portion of these are written by people with limited financial knowledge and experience.

Nowadays, anyone looking to grow in financial wisdom can hit the web as well as partake in any of the methods I employed. There's a wealth of information out there if you have the time to sort the wheat from the chaff.

But doing so is still a far cry from having five actual friends who are experienced with money — people you can talk to, ask questions of, get responses from, etc. Reading about money isn't the same as having a real-life money mentor.

Besides, people crave person-to-person mentorship in their lives. I know this because they tell me. I hear about it day in and day out.

Connecting with Millionaires

Several years ago, I started interviewing millionaires.

I didn't do it because I wondered what they did to make themselves wealthy. By this time, I understood the keys to wealth.

Instead, I wanted to hear these millionaires tell their stories in their own words. And I wanted to share a new story at my website every week. My hope was that these wealthy men and women would re-iterate that the keys to wealth boil down to a few basic principles. And they did!

To this date, I've published 202 interviews with millionaires at my website.

J.D.'s Note After I sold Get Rich Slowly (and before I bought it back), I wanted to create what I called “The Millionaire Project”. My idea was simple. I would travel the country to film interviews with wealthy people. I'd ask them how they made their money — and how they managed to keep it.

I never followed through on my project, obviously. So, I was excited when I learned that John had begun his own series of millionaire interviews. It's not exactly what I had envisioned, but it's close. (And honestly? In some ways, it's better.)

Shortly after I started publishing these stories, the requests began coming in.

People wanted to connect with millionaires (me and others) for feedback on money issues. They had questions. They wanted advice. In essence, people were seeking to add a millionaire money mentor to the group of friends they spent time with.

Here are some typical comments I received:

“Can you give me your thoughts on this?”

“Can I get more specifics on how you invest in real estate/dividend stocks/etc.?”

“How can I find someone to review my financial situation? I don't know anyone good with money. Will you do it?”

“Hi Millionaire 192, I loved reading your story. It’s inspiring and where I would love to end up eventually with my real estate investments. Would you be willing to talk over the phone about your real estate strategy? I’m happy to pay for your time.”

“I have read, and re-read your story and am very inspired. I wish I was friends with you so we could talk finances on a regular basis. lol.”

At the same time, millionaires were sending me notes wanting to “connect down”. Some of these folks were eager to “pay it forward”. They were willing to be one of the five wealthy friends that people need.

That's when I knew I had to connect the two groups.

The Millionaire Money Mentors

After months of thought and planning, I created the Millionaire Money Mentors program.

People kept telling me they had NO ONE in their lives that they could talk to regarding finances. Now they do. 😉

The Millionaire Money Mentors program is exactly what it sounds like: a way to connect with (and ask questions of) millionaires — and other members of this program. It's an online community dedicated to wealth building.

Members currently have the ability to connect with over 60 millionaires. These money mentors are willing to share their experiences in how to earn more, save more, invest better, and save time doing the right (and avoiding the wrong) money moves.

I hope that you already have a group of wealthy people you can meet with to share your plans and ask for feedback. Even one such money mentor would be amazing!

But if you don't have any wealthy friends, perhaps the Millionaire Money Mentors program is worth a try.

There are several additional benefits to membership in addition to the millionaire-to-member connection. There are expert Ask Me Anything sessions every other week (Sarah Fallaw — Thomas Stanley's daughter — and Wes Moss are just two of our upcoming guests), a Millionaire Book Club, and more! (Not to mention we have a long list of potential future add-ons).

If you think you're interested, I invite you to try it. There's a 7-day money back guarantee so there's really nothing to lose. Plus, membership is affordable (GRS readers have a special price for the next few days) and includes bonuses worth more than the annual cost. I tried to make joining as much of a no-brainer as possible from a value proposition standpoint.

And FYI, it's not just me who loves the site. Here are some comments after our first full week of being open:

“The value of the site is amazing! I have learned so much. I only wish I had more time to read everything!”

“I believe the price of admission to this site is already undervalued! The value of the content more than covers the cost and then factor in the ability to ask questions.”

“Super excited for every one of these (AMA discussions). Thanks and great work putting together this list of incredible people. Well worth the price of admission.”

I hope you stop by and give us a try. But if not, I do suggest you find and connect with a money mentor in Real Life. I took the long and winding road to find my five money “friends” — and even that tough journey was very much worth the effort for me.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-a-millionaire-money-mentor/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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