#anyways I'm gonna go back to writing on here so y'all will hopefully be seeing me around again

[halchron]

WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[imaginespazzi]

Here's To Eternity

Four times Paige brings up marriage and the one time Azzi finally says yes.

(In which an angst writer attempts to write fluff and it takes her far longer than it should have)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: mainly Fluff with a little bit of Angst

Words: 8K (I swear it was meant to be below 5K when I planned it)

TW: Implied sexual content, alcohol, swearing

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3. Gonna do this at the beginning instead of the end today. This took years off my life and I still don't fully love it but I'm tired of thinking about it so hopefully y'all still like it. Really quickly, I've never been to Minnesota or the state fair so if you have, pretend you do not see the likely factual inaccuracies. Also feel free to let me know what you don't like because as I've said, I don't really write fluff well so by all means call me out. And finally, I edited this I swear but I'm sure there are still mistakes, so let me know about those too. Anyways, I hope this is a good pre-game read and let's get another W!

i don’t know what love is (i’d learn for you) 

The first time Paige says it, they’re at the Minnesota State Fair. It’s all the way back when they’re just two young girls learning each other, carefree and completely unaware that this will become a tradition. They’ve barely known each other but being with Azzi already feels easy, natural, like home. And she doesn’t really know how she knows it, it’s just a feeling really, but Paige is convinced that Azzi’s meant to be in her life forever. 

They’ve been at the fair almost all day, with members of both of their families joining them here and there. Paige and Azzi had been competing at various arcade games all day, keeping a tally of who won which arcade game. They’d even turned going on rides into a competition of “who could hold in their screams the longest”. Their bickering, while endearing, had earned them more than a few fond eye rolls as their families eventually got bored of being third wheels and went on to find something more engaging. 

They’d intentionally left the pop-a-shot, a basketball arcade game, til the very end, knowing it would be the ideal tie-breaker. And as the day comes to an end, they are in fact very much tied although Paige will tell you, that she didn’t actually scream on the Skyscraper; it had merely been a quiet whimper that Azzi was exaggerating the volume of. And Azzi will tell you that she deserved a re-do on the ring toss because it wasn’t her fault that the wind had decided to pick up on that very moment. Ultimately both of their arguments had fallen on deaf ears when they had appealed their cases to some very exasperated family members. 

“Get ready to lose to the better shooter,” Paige gloats, rubbing her hands together in preparation to shoot. She’d lost two rounds of rock paper scissors to Azzi’s one, meaning she’d missed the chance to go second like she would have preferred but that hadn’t done much to deter her confidence. 

“We’ll see,” Azzi scoffs, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms as she stands back a little bit to give Paige the space she needs. 

Paige smirks at her friend as she shoots the ball, definitely showing off a little bit. The ball arcs in the air before swishing into the basket, all net and no rim. The blonde’s grin only widens as she repeats the motion, again and again and again. She gets eight of them in perfectly, the ninth hits the backboard but rolls in and then-

“You missed,” Azzi yells the minute the last ball is out of Paige’s hands and they both watch, one in excitement, the other in irritation, as the ball falls miserably far away from the net. 

“That’s not fair,” Paige turns around immediately, “you distracted me. That doesn’t even count.”

“Nuh uh, we didn’t set a no distracting rule and I only said something after you released it. I already knew you were gonna miss,” Azzi counters gleefully. 

“Bruh, how could you have possibly known that?”

“Because my basketball IQ is way beyond yours,” it’s Azzi’s turn to smirk as she bumps Paige in the hip, switching spots so she can take her turn. 

“You’re still gonna lose. I made nine, you’re barely gonna make,” Paige pretends to think, “hmm maybe seven”

Azzi doesn’t respond, choosing instead to reply by immediately making her first basket. Her arc is perfect as always, the same shot Paige had been awed by when they’d been at camp for USA basketball. She makes the next and the next and the one after that until she’s at her 10th shot, ready to go a perfect 10 for 10 and beat Paige. Maybe it’s the competitiveness or maybe Paige has lost her goddamn mind, but she barely registers the next words that come out of her mouth. 

“If you make the last shot, you have to marry me,” and it’s supposed to be a threat, a way to stop Azzi from making the last bucket and winning their silly little competition but it comes out giddy and breathless. 

“What?” Azzi asks, eyes wide as she turns around to face Paige and well, she’s said them now, Paige might as well own them. 

“You heard me,” Paige says, cocking her head, the arrogance in her voice a complete contrast to the rapid beating of her heart, “you make that shot, and we’re engaged. Or you don’t make it and you lose.”

Azzi’s eyes narrow, confusion melting away to a familiar fierceness.  The thing is, she knows she could miss it if she wanted to but the thought of losing is somehow worse than being engaged at fourteen. She tries not to dwell on why that idea doesn’t seriously frighten her, telling herself it’s because there’s no way Paige will ever hold her to that. Taking a deep breath, Azzi lifts up her hands and shoots the ball. 

Here’s the thing, Paige likes winning. She enjoys the effort that goes into getting a win and the satisfaction that follows after. But as the ball leaves Azzi’s hand, that same perfect arc, she thinks, maybe it would be okay if Azzi made this basket today. She thinks maybe it would be okay if she lost. Both girls wait with bated breath, as the ball hits the backboard and circles the rim. For a brief second, it seems like it might slide off the edge but it doesn’t. It falls into the net with a swish and Azzi wins. 

The brunette lets out a squeal of happiness as the arcade game lights up with “WINNER”, doing a happy dance and flipping her hair. And Paige is so mesmerized by Azzi’s infectious happiness, the fact that she’s just lost ceases to mean anything. She doesn’t know what this feeling is, isn’t quite ready to understand it, but she knows it’s slowly creeping up her veins and consuming every part of her. 

“What prize would you like honey,” the middle-aged woman running the booth asks, pointing to the assortment of gifts sitting in a booth next to the game. Azzi pulls a still-stunned Paige with her to get a closer look at the prizes, eyes roaming over all the fun things until they finally settle on one of them. 

“I’ll take that packet of rings,” she gives Paige a devilish smirk, "I think I just got engaged.”

Paige gapes at Azzi while the woman fetches the packet of rings that Azzi had chosen. As far as fake jewelry goes, the rings are kind of atrocious. Huge colorful stones are placed haphazardly on a silver ring that looks like it might rust the next seconds. Azzi picks out a pink one and hands it to Paige, before holding out her hand. Still slightly dazed by everything, Paige does as she’s gestured to and slips the ring onto Azzi’s ring finger. And she’s sure she must be going insane because the ugly ring looks quite pretty on Azzi’s slender fingers. 

“You better get me a real one eventually,” Azzi says and she’s joking, Paige knows that but she can’t help the part of her that takes it at face value, the part of her that subconsciously promises Azzi to get her a real one eventually. She’s only fifteen and she’s sure she doesn’t know what love is but standing here in the cool Minnesota summer breeze, getting fake engaged to a girl she feels like she’s known her whole life, Paige thinks, maybe she’d like to learn. 

2. crossing boundaries (taking leaps of faith)

The second time Paige says it, they’ve crossed a line in their friendship and she kind of wants to cross a couple more. By this point, Paige is pretty sure she’s at least a little in love with her best friend. It had been okay when she’d first got to UConn, the distance between them allowing Paige to ignore her feelings that had become unbearably intense over the covid year she’d spent with the Fudds. And then the thing she’d worked her ass off to make happen had happened and Azzi had come to UConn. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy to have Azzi here. With her being injured for most of her sophomore season, there’s no one else Paige would have rather had by her side through it all. It was the playing platonic that drove her a little insane. Because somewhere between the arguing over nothing and the talking about everything, Azzi had stopped being her best friend and had become something more. 

It all comes to a head during a mid-April night at Ted’s. They’re partially still in mourning for their national championship loss and so it’s not really a surprise that the team is perhaps a little freer with the alcohol than they normally are. It’s definitely the alcohol that has Paige seething in jealousy at Azzi nonchalantly flirting with some random girl who had had the nerve to buy the brunette a drink. And it’s definitely the alcohol that makes her march over angrily and squeeze herself between the two girls. But it might be a little much to blame the half a glass of spiked shirley Paige had had for the way she wraps her arms around Azzi’s waist, leaning into the younger girl’s personal space in a way that is decidedly not platonic.

“Hi love,” she whispers, blinking her eyes up at a rather confused Azzi, who despite said confusion, doesn’t push her away. Instead, Azzi’s arms circle around Paige’s neck. It’s muscle memory really. But now they’re far closer than appropriate for two best friends and Paige swears she can make out every detail on Azzi’s face. Her eyes fixate on Azzi’s throat as the darker-skinned girl swallows, a sign of nervous anticipation, and she fights the visceral urge to bite down on Azzi’s neck and leave a mark so permanent, no other girl would ever have the audacity to look at what’s hers. 

“Oh, I didn’t know,” she hears the offending flirt say.

“Well now you do,” Paige replies before Azzi can respond, keeping her eyes focused on the girl in front of her, “she’s not interested.”

The sound of feet scurrying away makes Paige smirk. Azzi raises her eyes but doesn’t make a move to pull away. 

“You looked like you needed help,” the blond lies blatantly, “and I’m nothing if not helpful.”

“Is that what you were doing? Trying to be helpful?” Azzi asks, a coy smile playing on her lips as she presses closer to Paige, “because I could have sworn you were jealous.”

Paige’s breath hitches as she focuses on the way Azzi says those words, the way her lips quirk and her eyes sparkle, because it’s not the alcohol this time, no she’s pretty damn sure Azzi’s flirting with her. The realization sets her heart ablaze and she grips Azzi’s waist even tighter, trying to find something stable to hold onto. 

“And if- if I was-  if I was jealous, then what?”

“I’d tell you, you didn’t really have a reason to be. She wasn’t really my type.”

“Yeah,” Paige can’t help but smirk, suddenly feeling a surge of confidence, “what is your type Azzi?”

Azzi hums, her shy smile a response in itself. They’re so close now, with their chests pressed up against each other, that Paige can hear the erratic thrum of Azzi’s heart beating. It’s comforting in a way, to know that she has the effect on Azzi too, that she’s the reason Azzi’s breathing is so uneven. Subconsciously, Paige leans in, eyes tracing the outline of Azzi’s lips, her entire body wracked with want. 

“Azzi,” she whispers, knocking her forehead against the other girl’s, “tell me to stop.” 

Anticipation burns against Paige’s skin, the feeling of finally racing through her body. She’s hypnotized by the way they seem to be breathing as one. Her eyes close of their own accord and she can almost feel the taste of Azzi’s lips when the brunette presses a gentle hand against her chest. 

“Stop,” Azzi whispers. 

Paige’s eyes fly open. Stung, she lets go of Azzi’s waist immediately, the tears ready to fall. She’d been so sure she’d read the moment right-

“Hey, hey no Paige wait,” Azzi scrambles to grab onto the blonde, fully aware of the panic that has settled into the other girl's bones, “I didn’t- I just- I didn’t mean it like that. I- fuck sorry, I don’t- I want-” she takes in a deep breath, her brain unable to speak her mind, “I want to kiss you, I do- I just don’t want our first kiss to be in front of all these people.”

The last part is a little mumbled but Paige hears it clear as day. She gapes at her best friend, not sure if she wants to shake her or jump her bones (both, definitely both). 

“You couldn’t have just said that?” Paige asks exasperatedly, “I don’t really take rejection well in case you haven’t noticed.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I panicked, you were so close and I was distracted,” Azzi rambles incoherently and Paige is so ridiculously endeared by this girl. 

“Azzi,” she says slowly, stepping back into the younger girl's space, and holding out a hand, “you wanna get out of here?”

She’s rewarded with a bright smile and Azzi  grabbing her outstretched hand with no hesitation. As the two of them make their way through the crowd, hands locked together, Paige can’t think of a moment where she’s felt this ecstatic. They stumble through the street towards their apartments, giggling like kindergarteners who’ve just been given a sweet treat. After a year, longer, of holding it in, Paige feels like she’s finally free. 

They’ve barely made it to Paige’s room, before she has Azzi pinned against the wall causing the younger girl to let out an audible gasp. It’s sinful the way she looks up at Paige, as if she’d do anything for her. And god Paige wants to find out just how much she can push that. 

“Tell me to stop,” Paige repeats her words from the bar, her right thumb coming up to  lightly caressing Azzi’s bottom lip. She’s giving her an out, a last chance before they cross a line in their friendship that they’ll never be able to uncross. But her words evoke a new fire in Azzi’s eyes and Paige just knows. 

“Absolutely not.”

She’s not sure who kisses who first, doesn’t really care but she knows she’s never felt anything quite like this. It’s something beyond sparks, something more exciting, yet something ever so calming. All she knows is she wants more. Her hands roam everywhere, moving from Azzi’s neck, to her arms, to her hips before moving even lower. And Azzi fucking whimpers, the sound of it causing Paige to press even harder against her. She pulls away and Azzi chases her lips for a second, before Paige attaches them to the younger girl’s neck instead. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this,” Paige manages to get out, biting against Azzi’s skin. She means to be soft, she really does but all she can think about is leaving a mark, a possessive bruise that would make sure everyone knew not to touch what was hers.

“Not longer than me,” Azzi’s hands are tangled in Paige's hair and she’s putty in the older girl’s hand. Paige could ask anything of her, and Azzi’s sure, she’d give it to her in a heartbeat. 

“I’m gonna make it worth the wait,” Paige pants, moving away from the brunette’s neck to kiss her again, “I promise.”

“Gonna show me what the hype is about?” Azzi says cheekily, as Paige pulls her onto the bed. She climbs on top of the blond, straddling her thighs. 

“Gonna show you even better,” Paige whispers and Azzi shivers at the promise in her voice. And then Paige’s lips her on hers again, desperate and impatient. Her hands work meticulously as she unbuttons Azzi’s blouse, leaving the young girl’s upper body bare. Azzi can't help the insecurity that creeps into her when Paige stares at her like that, like she’s seeing her for the first time. 

“You’re so fucking perfect,” Paige says, erasing away the doubt, “fuck, marry me.”

Paige doesn’t know why that slips out, doesn’t know why it rolls off her tongue so smoothly, doesn’t know why it doesn’t feel like a completely preposterous thing to say at the moment. 

“You say that to all your hookups?” Azzi asks slowly. It’s said light-heartedly enough but the hints of doubt aren’t hard to catch. In one swift motion, Paige flips them so that Azzi’s lying underneath her. Using her elbows, she hovers over the younger girl, making sure she can see the sincerity in her eyes. 

“No, no I don't. And you,” she says pointedly, needing Azzi to understand how she feels, “are not a hookup.”

Azzi smiles, arms wrapping around Paige’s neck, “maybe take me out on a date first and then we can talk about marriage.”

“Yeah, yeah I will but,” Paige grins devilishly, fingers dancing around the waistband of Azzi’s jeans, “I think I’ll fuck you first.

3. on the brink of destruction (maybe you’ll catch me)

The third time Paige says it, she’s desperately trying to save them from falling apart. They’ve always known this moment would come, known it even before they’d known each other. To play in the WNBA had always been the end-goal for both of them and it should be the happiest moment of their lives with both of them being guaranteed first-round picks who were likely to make a roster. But the whole thing comes with the caveat, that for the first time in almost four years, Paige and Azzi will have to learn to live apart from each other. 

Paige hadn’t even considered that it would mean they’d have to break up. The whole season, despite a thousand and one conversations about the draft, the idea hadn’t once been brought up. Long distance would be difficult, Paige knew that, but she’d figured they’d tackle it in the same way they’d faced everything else: together. Apparently Azzi thought differently. Apparently Azzi had been thinking about it for a while and last night, when she’d finally said the words out loud, Paige’s whole world had fallen off balance. She’d tried interrupting but once Azzi had her mind set on something, it was hard to deter her.

It’s been less than 24 hours since and KK and Ice have done everything in their power to distract her but Paige can’t stop thinking about it. If she hadn’t known Azzi for as long as she had, then maybe she would have believed the façade of coldness and practicality that her girlfriend had put on. She had spoken as if she was negotiating the end of a contract, her face set firmly on neutral. But Paige had seen the way she was fidgeting uncontrollably with the hem of her shirt, heard the little crack in her voice when she’d said the actual words out loud. 

“Was she at breakfast?” Paige asks, interrupting whatever spiel KK had been going on. The sophomore gives her a look that veers between irritation and sympathy. 

“Dude, we weren’t even at breakfast. We ate with you up here, remember?”

“Right,” Paige says, mindlessly thumbing at her sheets. She’s in unfamiliar territory, trying to navigate a world without Azzi. She can’t even remember the last morning she’d had that didn’t start with some form of communication with her girlfriend, a good morning kiss or a text or a call. 

“Y’all are being stupid,” Ice supplies unhelpfully. 

“Don’t even start,” Paige quips back defensively, “I didn’t do anything.”

“Maybe that’s the issue,” KK’s report is met with a well-aimed pillow in her direction. 

“Can you guys maybe just take my side for once please?”

“Children of divorce don’t choose sides,” Ice says solemnly. She has the foresight to duck and Paige’s water bottle hits the wall with a resounding thud, “aye no violence.”

“Fuck off and go away,” Paige groans, burying her face in her hands. 

“This is literally my room,” Ice replies and KK snickers. 

“I’m so glad my misery amuses you guys.”

Before either of the two underclassmen can reply, a familiar voice resounds around the room and Paige’s heart almost beats out of her chest. It’s been less than 24 hours but fuck, she’s missed the sound of it.

“Ice do you have- oh.”

“Hi Azzi,” KK says enthusiastically and Paige can already picture the forced smile Azzi gives her. She hates that stupid smile. 

“Hey KK. I- uh, Ice I was looking for the  necklace you borrowed. I- uh wanted to wear it with my dress for the draft, but umm- it’s- it’s fine. I’ll come back later.”

Paige scoffs, suddenly annoyed. She lifts her head from her hands and Azzi’s already looking at her but the minute their eyes meet, she looks away. It only irritates Paige further. 

“It’s fine Az. I can get it for you now,” Ice says, hopping up and rummaging through one of her. 

“No it’s fine, I should go. I have to go do…something.”

“You’re such a fucking liar,” Paige says before she can stop herself. The awkwardness in the air changes to a sinister tension. KK and Ice wear identical expressions of shock and worry, looking back and forth between Paige and Azzi.

“Excuse me?” Azzi says eyes narrowing dangerously. 

“All that bullshit you said last night. You said we’d still be friends. You said it’d be like we used to be before. You said things wouldn’t change that much and this would be for the better. You said we’d be fine. But fucking hell Azzi, you can’t even stand to be in the same room as me right now,” tears prickle in her eyes and she can’t tell if they’re from anger or pain or frustration. 

“I-It will be okay. We’ll be fine, eventually,” Azzi pauses, struggling to get the words out, “I just- we just- we need time to learn how to be just friends again.”

“I don’t want to be just friends Azzi,” Paige spits. 

“Neither do I,” Azzi bursts out, hands clenching, “but we have to try.”

“Oh-kay,” KK cuts in, noticing the rise in voices, “just because Ice and I call ourselves children of divorce, doesn’t mean y’all have to act like an actual divorced couple. All this yelling is not good for my heart.”

“Shut up KK,” they snap at the same time, and KK immediately raises her hands in surrender. 

“Why,” Paige turns her attention back to Azzi, “why do we have to try? You don’t want to be just friends. I sure as shit don’t want to be just friends. So what’s the fucking point? When neither of us want this, why are we fucking doing this?”

“Because I’m scared okay?” Azzi yells, her eyes widening as the truth slips out. She immediately cups her mouth, her anger fading away. Tears pool at the corner of her eyes, as emotions she’d been trying so hard to push down, bubble to the surface. She sees the way Paige eyes soften, can feel the sympathy in the way KK and Ice are looking at her, but before any of them can say anything, her feet are moving, desperate to get away from them, from Paige. 

“Paige,” Ice hisses when the blond stays rooted in place, “move.”

It does the trick, shaking Paige out of her trance. She doesn’t need to be told twice. When she gets to Azzi’s room, she stops outside the door. The goal is to fix things but she’s so scared of damaging them further. Taking a deep breath, she lets herself in and is unsurprised to find Azzi pacing the length of the room. 

“You have ‘got to stop running away from me. I’m not as young as I used to be,” Paige jokes. She’s not expecting a smile in return, the situation is far too tense, but when Azzi looks at her with nothing but sadness, all the humour leaves her body. 

“Please leave me alone,” Azzi whispers,  “please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

“You’re the one making this harder Az. We don’t have to do this,” Paige takes a step forward, groaning when Azzi immediately takes a step back. 

“We do because otherwise we’re gonna fall apart. You don’t see it but we’re gonna end up resenting each other because we miss each other so much,” Azzi says miserably, the tears freely falling now. 

“You think I’ll miss you less if you’re not my girlfriend? You think breaking up is going to stop us from falling apart?” Paige asks incredulously, “you know you’ve had some stupid ideas before Azzi, but this, this one might be the dumbest yet.”

“Well, do you have a better one?” Azzi asks, throwing her hands in the air. 

“Yes, let’s just get married instead! Then we’ll have to be stuck with each other for life and you can stop trying to break up with me,” and maybe it’s somewhat of an irrational thing to say but Paige finds that she means it.

“Paige,” Azzi grits out, “this is serious.”

“I’m being dead serious right now actually.”

“Marriage is not going to stop us from being drafted to different teams. It’s not gonna stop us from having to live in different states.”

“Neither is breaking up,” Paige yells. Frustrated, she marches over to Azzi, encircling her arms around the other girl who immediately struggles against Paige's hold but the blonde is in no mood to let this, whatever it is, go on any further. 

“Let me go-”

“No. It’s my turn to talk okay,” Paige says, tightening her grip, “get this through your head, we are not breaking up.”

She pinches Azzi’s waist when the younger girl tries to protest. Her girlfriend is nothing if not stubborn but so is Paige. 

“You know I barely slept last night? I’ve been so fucking miserable all day. I’ve spent every minute thinking about you, every minute missing you. And if we do this, that feeling of missing you and knowing I can’t have you, is how I’m going to feel for the rest of my life. And that, that might kill me. I know you think it’ll be easier being friends or whatever but I can’t do that Azzi. I can’t be your friend. I can’t be near you and not kiss you. I can’t call you and not tell you I love you,” Paige’s voice breaks near the end as tears begin to stream down her face. 

“I’m scared. I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you,” Azzi confesses in a whisper and it’s heartbreaking how vulnerable the darker-skinned girl sounds. 

“Then don’t. Keep me and let me keep you. I know you're scared baby but,” Paige presses her forehead against Azzi’s, “but trust me Azzi, we’ll make it work okay. I need you to believe that. I need you to believe in us. Please Azzi, please.”

Azzi closes her eyes and Paige can almost see the cogs turning in her brain. Waiting for a decision is excruciating and the silence feels deafening as Paige’s intrusive thoughts drive her a little insane. 

“Okay,” Azzi breathes out finally, “okay we’ll try it your way. But if it doesn’t work-”

“It’s going to work,” Paige says determinedly. And finally, Azzi smiles, the real one that Paige loves. 

“It’s going to work,” she repeats back, leaning up to kiss Paige and letting out an ungraceful squawk when Paige dodges her lips, “excuse me.”

“You don’t get a kiss,” the older girl replies, moving out of reach and crossing her arms, “you just tried to break up with me. Twice.”

“I’m sorry,” Azzi whines, “please, I haven’t kissed you for hours.”

“And whose fault is that?” Paige accuses but there’s no true anger behind her words. 

Azzi pouts for a second before it’s replaced by a mischievous smirk. Before Paige can react, she jumps onto the blond, wrapping her arms around Paige’s neck. The impact of it causes Paige to stumble back a little bit before her hands settle on Azzi's hips to keep them both stable. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Azzi babbles, kissing every inch of Paige’s face. 

“Okay, okay, okay, you’re forgiven.” Paige laughs. She’s never been particularly good at staying mad at Azzi. The knot in her chest, which’s been pressing against her ribcage since last night, finally unravels as Paige tugs Azzi closer, finally pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. A low wolf-whistle from the doorway breaks them apart far sooner than they’d have liked. 

“Y’all didn’t even last a whole 24 hours,” KK’s voice is amused but there’s a hint of relief hidden in it. 

“Should’ve closed the fucking door,” Paige grumbles as Azzi giggles into the crevice between her head and her neck. 

“That’s gotta be a record for shortest breakup ever or something,” and there’s Ice, looking equally as amused. 

“You know what that means though, parents are back together and,” KK smirks at Ice and Paige looks between the two of them questioningly, “you owe me 50 bucks.”

“Excuse me?” Paige asks with a raised eyebrow, although she’s pretty sure she already knows. 

“Ice said y’all would be broken up for a week. I gave y’all three days,” KK grins triumphantly, despite Ice giving her a dirty look. 

“I can’t believe you guys would bet on us,” Azzi shakes her head disapprovingly as she lifts her head, “actually no scratch that. I’m not surprised at all.”

“We were too generous with it though,” Ice gives them a knowing look, “can’t believe y’all thought you could survive for years.”

“Not y’all,” Paige corrects, “just Azzi.”

Azzi groans, “you’re never gonna let me forget this are you?”

“Nope,” Paige says happily, pressing a kiss to Azzi’s temple, who immediately grins. And everything in the world is right again. It’s not going to be easy being god knows how many miles apart, but Paige knows they’ll be fine. They have to be. She won’t let them be anything else. 

4. the high of it all (as long as you hold me)

The fourth time she says it, Paige doesn’t even fully remember it the day after. She won’t find out exactly what she’s said until a couple of years into the future when Azzi tells her the story with a fond look in her eye. It’s a month or so into their rookie seasons when their respective teams meet: the Lynx vs the Mystics, funny how that had worked out. So far, they’d both been doing well, locked in a competitive race for rookie of the year. As a result, their matchup is well-hyped, but no one’s more excited for it, than the two of them. 

The game ends with the Lynx winning and Paige shoots Azzi a victorious smirk which earns her a familiar eye roll. She loves winning always but this time there’s the additional reward of having her girlfriend back in her bed for the first time in weeks. The anticipation of it has her running her tongue across her lips, and with the way Azzi’s eyes glaze over, it’s clear they’re thinking the same thing. 

A couple of hours later, the Lynx team is spread out across one of the bars near their arena and Paige is definitely teetering on the edge of being drunk. She’d been a lot more reserved the other couple of times they’d done this, not wanting to take the chance of potentially embarrassing herself in front of her older teammates. But she feels freer tonight and the reason for it hasn't walked in yet.

“You two haven’t changed at all huh?” Dorka laughs, as she watches Paige pouting at the door. 

“Hey,” Paige whines, “I haven’t seen her in months! And now she’s taking too long.”

“One month,” Dorka corrects, shaking her head fondly, “and you talk to her every other hour.” 

“Same differ-”

“Hi,” an unfamiliar voice cuts Paige off, an auburn haired girl sliding into the stool next to her, “you’re Paige Bueckers?”

“Last time I checked,” Paige replies goofily, eyes still fixed on the front door. 

“I’m Shay. I’m a huge fan,” the stranger gushes, her smile radiant, “could I maybe get a picture?”

Never one to disappoint, especially not when she’s a little out of it, Paige nods. She wraps her arm casually around Shay’s shoulder, and makes a peace sign with her other hand as the other girl takes a selfie. 

“Thank you,” Shay takes a deep breath, “I uh, I was wondering if I could maybe get your num-”

“Babyyyyyy,” Paige lets out a shrill squeak as she spots her girlfriend finally entering the door. All else seems to fade away as the blonde practically skips towards her girlfriend. Dorka, who’d been watching the previous exchange, can’t help but give a very shell-shocked-looking Shay a sympathetic smile. 

“Hi babyyyy,” Paige croons again as she throws her arms around her girlfriend's neck, burying her face contentedly into Azzi’s neck. It doesn’t matter that she’s an inch or so taller than the younger girl, she fits in Azzi’s arms pretty perfectly. 

“Hi drunkie,” Azzi says fondly, brushing her hands through Paige’s hair and eliciting a happy sigh from the inebriated blond in her arms, “started without me I see.”

“You took too long and I was bored,” Paige says, snuggling further, her breath tickling against Azzi’s collarbone, making the younger girl’s breath hitch. Smirking, Paige bites down gently, knowing the exact effect it’ll have. Almost five years together, and the idea of marking her girlfriend still drives her a little insane. 

“Behave,” Azzi warns, her voice breathy, “we’re in public.”

“Then let’s get out of public,” Paige whispers as she caresses the mark she’s just left on Azzi’s throat with her tongue, clearly proud of her handiwork, “let me take you home.”

“I just got here babe,” it’s a weak response, they both know it. 

“So what?”

“I-,” Azzi stutters as Paige continues to pepper kisses into her neck, one of her hands sliding down to brush against Azzi’s exposed navel, “I haven’t even said hi to anyone else.”

“Are you here for anyone else? Or are you here for me?” 

It’s a blur how it happens, but one minute Paige is tucked under Azzi’s arms, the next Azzi finds herself pressed against the bar, Paige's hands barricading her. It's too dimly lit for anyone to be fully aware of what’s going on but Azzi desperately tries to stifle a moan when Paige shifts so that she’s filthily grinding against one of Azzi’s thighs, lips still attached to her neck. 

“Gonna make you feel so good baby. Gonna give you whatever you want. Gonna give you everything you need,” the blond promises, knowing, when Azzi’s eyes involuntarily close, that she’s close to getting what she wants, “just let me take you home.”

“Azzi!” The feeling of getting her way is short lived as Dorka’s voice echoes around them. Paige groans as her girlfriend’s eyes immediately fly open and she ducks under Paige arms to hug their old UConn teammate.

As the two other girls meet, Paige downs another drink, mumbling about “fucking Hungarians.”

“Ignore her,” Azzi rolls her eyes, still hugging Dorka, who lets out a laugh. 

“Alright that’s enough,” Paige frowns, pulling Azzi back into her so that her back is pressed against Paige’s chest, “go find your own Azzi to hug, this one’s mine and we’re leaving.”

Sober Paige does not get testy when Azzi hugs other people, especially not old teammates and friends, well not a lot anyway. But drunk Paige doesn’t like sharing her girlfriend, no matter how platonically that is. 

“Always so possessive Bueckers,” Dorka teases, but she complies  “it was good seeing you Az. Don’t be late to practice Paige.”

The blond point guard lets out a satisfied sigh, lacing her hands with Azzi’s, “see you’ve met people, now can we please go?”

“I’ve met one person,” Azzi rolls her eyes but doesn’t put up a fight as her girlfriend begins to pull her out of the bar. 

The uber ride back to Paige’s apartment is relatively silent with Paige tucking herself into Azzi, who can tell that despite her previous eagerness, her girlfriend is pretty likely to pass out the minute she lies down. It doesn’t matter really. Cuddles. Sex. Whatever. As long as it’s with Paige, Azzi loves every minute of it. Besides, there’s always tomorrow morning. 

“M’sorry, m’so tired,” Paige mumbles as she does exactly what Azzi had expected by flopping onto the bed the minute they tumble into the bedroom, “make it up to you tomorrow. I promise.”

The brunette shakes her head with a smile, taking both their shoes off, before lying down next to her girlfriend, who immediately curls into her, wrapping her arms around Azzi’s torso. 

“I’m glad you’re here. I missed you,” she whispers into Azzi’s skin, eyes closed. 

“Missed you too baby,” the darker skinned girl pressed a kiss onto her girlfriend’s forehead, squeezing her arm gently. 

There’s a pause and for a second Azzi thinks maybe Paige has fallen asleep until the next words come out her mouth and steal Azzi’s breath away. 

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Paige confesses in a whisper, “you’re gonna make the prettiest bride. We’re gonna have such a beautiful wedding. Outside. Maybe on a basketball court.  And Coach is gonna officiate it and everyone’s gonna be there. Our family, our friends and it’s gonna be wonderful. The best ever.”

Azzi can’t bring herself to speak, the emotions suddenly becoming a little too strong. She knows Paige is drunk but the words are so sincere, like they’re things Paige has been thinking about for a long time. 

“Gonna have two kids,” Paige smiles as she continues to babble, unaware of the effect that has on Azzi, “a girl and a boy. They’re gonna be the most loved kids in the world. And we’re gonna teach them basketball. And they’re gonna be perfect, just like you. Just like us.”

In the silence, Azzi listens to Paige’s breathing even out, a sign that the older girl has drifted into sleep. And she lets herself imagine the picture Paige had just painted for her. As she holds her girlfriend closer to her, she knows she wants that life too. The wedding. The kids. The perfection of it all. She falls asleep dreaming about it, unaware that hidden in the drawer right next to her, is a ring that has her name on it. 

5. finding forever (the inevitability of us) 

When Paige finally proposes, they’re back at the Minnesota State Fair. She’s had the ring for a couple of years now, waiting for things to fall into place so that they could finally play on the same team and actually be together. That hadn’t been an easy process and of course, they’d argued about it, perhaps going a little too far at times. But now, when she finally gets to wake up to Azzi’s peaceful sleepy smile, every single morning, it all seems worth it. 

The proposal, if Paige is honest, is just a formality. In her head, she’s been a married woman for a long time. Whatever ceremony they’d have, whatever papers they’d sign, wouldn’t do much to alter their already domestic lives. But she wanted that celebration, the moment with her family and friends where they’d become bound in the one way they weren’t yet: legally. And this proposal was the start of that. 

The list of ideas she’d planned out and discussed with their family and friends was long and had earned her plenty of sighs and eye rolls. Nothing had seemed quite right until she’d whined about it to both their mothers. They’d said to go back to the beginning and it had all clicked into place. 

As they have every year since they’d started coming to the state fair together, they’re engaged in a competition again. Every year, they get a little bit more competitive and every year their families' sighs get a little heavier. Something about it, makes the two of them reverse back to being fifteen. The ridiculous trash talk, the sticking their tongues out at each other, the exaggerated pouting when they lose, it’s all further proof of them still being children at heart. Except now, when Azzi pouts, Paige gets to kiss it off. 

They’re tied again this summer, as they seem to be most years. Though this year, there’s been a little bit of planning on Paige’s part. 

“Pop-a-shot it is,” Azzi sighs, “even though you absolutely cheated on that last hole in mini golf,” she turns to their families, who normally would have left by now but have stayed back today, with a dramatic spin, “and I can’t believe you all saw it, but you’re taking her side.”

“Not me Azzi, I’m on your side. I know she cheated,” Drew, the traitor, chirps with a smirk and Paige glares at her little brother whose loyalty to her girlfriend never wavers. 

“Thank you Drew. The only person who loves me for real,” Azzi puts one hand to her heart, and ruffles the younger boy’s with the other. 

“Save the dramatics for when you lose babe,” Paige says, rolling her eyes, “alright rock paper scissors.”

They play best of three as they always do. Paige wins the first round. Azzi wins the second. There’s momentary panic when Azzi technically wins the third because well, Paige sort of needs to be in control if this is going to work. The thing is Azzi likes to mix up whether she’ll choose to go first or second, according to her it keeps Paige on her toes. But today Paige really needs her girlfriend to go second. 

“Oh Az no cheating,” Tim cuts in, coming to the rescue, “you waited to see what she’d do.”

“WHAT?” Azzi squeals, “I absolutely did not.”

“Oh honey, I think you did,” Katie sends Paige a wink and she can’t help but smile at the family she’s found. 

“You’re not serious,” Azzi says with a betrayed voice, squinting at her parents, before turning to Paige’s mom, who gives her a consoling pat, “please adopt me.”

“Oh quit whining cheater,” Paige teases, “I’m going first.”

She steps up to the line for the game, feeling more nervous than she ever has really because this is it. There isn’t really a world in which she thinks Azzi will say no, at least not one where Paige continues breathing after. But she needs this to be perfect. Bouncing the ball for a second, she takes in a deep breath before raising her arms and shooting. It goes in, barely touching the room. So does the next. And the next one and the next one, until Paige has gotten nine shots in. 

As she goes to shoot the last one, Azzi's voice echoes around her, “miss it for me babe.”

And she does. It’s probably one of the weakest shot’s she’s ever taken in her life, the ball falling far below the basket. Behind her, she can hear their brother’s snickering. 

“Damn someone should send that to Coach,” Azzi teases, hip-checking Paige as she comes to take her spot, “better luck next time baby.”

“Yeah, yeah let’s see you do better,” Paige replies cockily, but her hands are sweating with nerves. 

“Oh you know I will,” her girlfriend responds with a grin, as she makes the first basket, that same perfect arc as always. Paige holds her breath on every shot, as the ball goes in flawlessly every time, their families cheering loudly for each one of them. As the last basket gets closer, Drew gives Paige’s hand a tight squeeze and gets a grateful smile in return. 

Taking a deep breath, as Azzi gets ready to take her last turn, Paige repeats the same words she’d said, the first time they’d been in this situation, “if you make the last shot, you have to marry me.”

“What?” Azzi whips around immediately, her eyes bright with confusion. Tongue-tied, Paige only shrugs and smiles, watching closely as Azzi lets the words sink in. A determined look crosses her face, followed by a mischievous smirk, and Paige’s heart swells. She knows the ball is going in the hoop even before the other girl's arms are in shooting position. And she’s right. The ball arcs in air and falls through the basket. And instead of the patent WINNER that normally lights up when someone makes the 10 shots, a new phrase appears on the dashboard. 

MARRY ME

Azzi gasps, hands flying to her mouth. When she whirls around, Paige is already on one knee and their families are watching with the biggest smiles. 

“I knew you lost on purpose,” Azzi breathes out, “you’ve never taken such a shit shot like that last one in your life.”

“Seriously,” Paige gapes up at her, “that’s what you get from this.”

“Babe, you hate losing,” Azzi emphasizes as if that explains everything and well, maybe it does.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Paige nods, reaching in her back pocket to pull out the ring, “but if you say yes to me today, then it doesn’t matter if I win or lose in a stupid arcade game, or on the court or anywhere, if you say yes Azzi, no matter what, I’ll always be a winner because I’ll have you. And I had a slightly better, slightly longer speech planned but it’s kinda all gone from my mind now, so I’ll just get right to it,” she manages a watery smile in response to her girlfriend’s tearful laugh, “Azzi, my soulmate and the love of my life, will you marry me?”

“Yes. Oh my god yes, of course, yes,” Azzi manages to get out, before she falls to her knees and into Paige’s arms, pressing her lips fervently against the blonde’s, their happy tears mixing into each other. Behind them, their families burst into cheers, hugging one another in congratulations.

“Wait, wait,” Paige pulls away, her smile stretching across her whole face, “I need to put the ring on you.”

She opens the ring box, to reveal a silver band that’s designed with a large diamond in the shape of a heart in the middle with two infinity shapes made out of smaller diamonds on each side of the heart. Azzi holds out her hand, eyes shining as Paige slips it onto her ring finger. It sparkles underneath the glow of the moonlight. 

“You finally got me a real one,” she whispers, continuing to admire the ring, “fuck, Paige it’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, yeah it took me a couple of years but I always knew I would. Look at the inside,” Paige nudges and Azzi squints to see the inscription on the inner edge of the ring. 

Since Always

The meaning of it is clear and Azzi lets out something in between a sob and a laugh before throwing herself back into Paige’s waiting arms. 

“I love you,” she whispers into her girlfriend’s, no, her fiance’s ears, “I can’t wait to be your wife.”

Paige’s arms tighten around Azz as she repeats it back, the word wife, evoking a newfound feeling she doesn’t quite know how to put in words. Their families begin to crowd them, until they’re all just a heap of bodies, likely earning some odd looks from passers-by. But it really doesn’t matter. It’s odd to think there had ever been a time when Paige had stood in this same cool Minnesota summer evening breeze and not know what love was, not known who Azzi was. Because this right here, with her fiancé in her arms, and their family all around them, this, she thinks, is the definition of love.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!!

Welcome back! =D

Part 2

Warning: long, long post (also a part 2 but I think y'all are used to it by now-) 😊😅

MattMick!! Also, Beer looking between them like that and Q and Toey peeking from behind cracked me up hehe

Also, does that mean Beer is single? Wait, maybe he's aroace. That'd be really cool.

I did see some hints of a throuple of him and MattMick, but I'm happy with either option.

SO CUTE 🥺🫶🏼

Poor QToey 😭

Their romantic moment got rained on so hard-

Exhibit: Here you can see three males from the species Homo sexuals. Two of them are already mated, and the third is in the courting process. We think the other male is interested too.

Oh- But I thought- oh, this makes sense actually. So the others know. I mean not really surprising when you think about it, to be honest.

With his unprecedented levels of obliviousness? Yeah, no, I get where you're coming from, Chain.

That's your biggest concern about getting a penguin?? 😭😭

Why does Peem look like the exasperated mom friend of the group 😭

After all the tiny crumbs of the past *checks notes* 8262 eps, this is a lot of progress.

HANDS. (I will never stop screaming about hands.)

Cuteee

Peem, babe, he hardly ever goes to class anyways. He's too busy following you around like a puppy.

Me, who holds handholding above everything else (yes, even sex): *DEEP BREATHS THROUGH THE NOSE* I'm fine. *SMOKE COMING OUT OF EARS* Totally fine.

Nothing to say, just a really good shot. (Also, Phuwin's exasperated smile seemed too real and then I learned Pond improvised that scene and yeah, that explains it)

ChainPun: only two people with matching pillow cases

QToey: missing (me?) [Sorry I couldn't resist 😭]

TanFang: peacefully asleep

PhumPeem: chronic insomnia, aggravated by Tan's snores

Matt: cuddling Mick

Beer: dreaming of him and his friends and their boyfriends all graduating with good grades

ChainPun. <33

Let me wrap this moment in my memory forever. (I tried to adjust the lighting a bit but it didn't really work out 😭)

AJSSHUJKJ!!!!! THEY GIVE ME TWO MAKE OUT SESSIONS WITHIN THE SPAN OF LIKE 4 MINUTES AND EXPECT ME TO BE SANE ABOUT IT???

No.

Look, we all expected this. I even said on record I wouldn't survive. And all that mental Muay Thai still didn't prepare me for this.

Till now, I have watched 60 BLs, give or take, so I've seen a lot of NC scenes. Compared to some of them, this is very PG-13, but this one really got me, like very few sex scenes have managed to. The intimacy, the palpable love, want. It all came together so beautifully in this scene.

Them saying 'I love you' during sex is canon! Yay! I knew it in my guts (wrote a fic about it) but feels so good to be right in canon hehe.

"I love you too, now kiss me again."

HANDS!!!! (It's canon now, they hold hands during sex, and so I can freely write a fic about it. Not that something not being canon ever stopped me but yeah.)

Fang: my brother is in safe hands. 😌

Also, love how Peem didn't hesitate to at the chance to kick both brothers and make it a streak 😭👍🏼

Honestly though, this scene shows that Peem is going to go to very long lengths to make sure Phum is okay, even kicking his own brother (which assures me that Peem maybe wouldn't hesitate that much to sucker punch their dad either, which is important information to have for possible future fics.)

How can one man be so goddamn cute??

The whimpering puppy noises- 😭

Cakes are so hard to bake, for real. This one is so cute though 😭😭🫶🏼

Puppy Phum- honestly is anyone surprised? No? Thought so.

This smile-

It holds so much happiness and the brunt of so many years of trauma. It's so beautiful. I'm probably gonna rewatch the heck out of this scene.

I end Part 1 here, Part 2 will be out (hopefully) soon!

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊 (All mistakes are mine, but in my defense, I literally fell asleep while writing this.)

Here, have a pie (of your favourite flavour) 🥧

[karma-vvitch]

l'amour de ma vie

Thought I was depressed or losing my mind My stomach upset almost all of the time But after I left, it was obvious why (oh), mm Because for you, you I was the love of your life, mm But you were not mine (but you were not mine)

𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: Angst

𝕻𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘:  Hurt/No Comfort, Angst fest lmao, Bucky’s kinda a dick in this one (so for all the ppl who don’t like reading Bucky in a negative light, this isn’t for you babe. *I’m ppl), The reader is implied to be chubby/plus size, slight body insecurity, but I think reader girl bossed in this (maybe it’s just me), AGAIN THERE IS NO FLUFF HERE ABSOLUTELY NONE. 

“You ruined me” You glared at him “You ruined me, Bucky Barnes” It’s been 2 weeks and 3 days since Bucky broke up with me. The audacity of that man. I don’t know where it went wrong. Was it when he started coming home late? Or when he started sleeping on the couch? There were too many instances to count. I guess the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he left his phone on the counter, Sharon’s contact notification glowed brightly. “We should stop this” God I thought for once I wasn’t an idiot, but once again my ego was shattered. That fucker told me he loved me, all of me. From my smile, to my curves, to my thighs. And yet he still went for miss perfect. “Baby–” The asshole spoke. “Baby? Seriously Barnes? Trying to soften me up? We’re SO past that!” I laugh incredulously. Fighting the tears welling in my eyes. “You promised me! You dick! You promised me! You said you looked past this–” gesturing to my body “I thought you saw me for me, Bucky!” He looked embarrassed. Good. “Baby, can we please not do it here?” He looked around the common room we were standing in. The place occupied by the team who were in awe and disbelief on what’s going on. This bitch “Oh! You’re embarassed? Good, let them see your shame for the lying, cheating piece of shit that you are!” Gasps are echoed throughout the room. The woman in question as well, finally, looking away in shame. Bucky looked helpless. The severity of the situation finally hitting him like a freight train. “Please, it was a mistake. Yes, I’m a huge asshole for hurting you. You have all the right. I love you. What I did will haunt me for the rest of my life and I’m sorry–” tears flowing freely from his eyes at this point “I’m so so sorry” The sight before you could’ve made you fold easily. Bucky on his knees, grovelling. Your Bucky who held you when your friends abandoned you. Your Bucky who drove you to McDonald’s at 3am to get nuggets. Your Bucky who dropped everything just to go home and take care of you at your lowest. For a second you thought that everything happening at the moment was just a bad dream. He would never hurt you… But he did. His cries snapped you back to reality. “I broke up with you because I was a coward, I thought I could fix myself and come back to your life a better man– I should’ve told you sooner” All I could do is stare at him, emotionless and numb. What does one even do in this situation? The (once) love of your life, who has hurt you beyond any comprehension is grovelling at your feet. Should I say something? Should I lash out at him? Should I make him get up? It was all becoming too much In the end, I just turned my heel and left. The echoes of his increasing sobs and pleas following me. Good.

𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘: This may or may not be based on real-life... Oops. The angst gods were coursing through me ngl. I haven't written in months so this is exciting. The depression is still there and thriving but I'm not gonna let it stop me from doing what I love :>. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Hopefully, I get to write more Bucky stuff (I promise there will be more fluff. God knows this man deserves it). Anyway, hope y'all have a great day/night! xoxo

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: None yet!

[whatevertheweather]

Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.

I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.

“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.

Now for the mess.

It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!

Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:

I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,

It also sort of ends with:

Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.

This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.

Now tags.

Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

@bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @noblecorgi @alexalexinii

@rimeswithpurple @ivelovedhimthroughworse @basiltonbutliketheherb @whogaveyoupermission @facewithoutheart

@martsonmars @iamamythologicalcreature @run-for-chamo-miles @thewholelemon

@forabeatofadrum @youarenevertooold @ileadacharmedlife @monbons

[ndostairlyrium]

✨ OC Tag Game ✨

I was tagged by @greypetrel to roast my OCs make Sophie's Choice kind of decisions but these are some fun decisions 👌 thank you so much dear!! Also I'm stealing the magenta and purple color scheme because I'm obsessed lol

I'm tagging here so y'all can avoid this monsterpost and go straight to the tag game lol @underneathestars @sparatus @daggerbean @bruxbea @n7viper @transprincecaspian @that-one-halfwit and those whose name starts with J.

I had to dig deep in my personal can of worms so grab a drink, a bunch of popcorns and a new pair of eyes because this is going to be one of the longest posts I've ever made. I'm not joking, I'm apologizing :'D

Favourite OC:

Ankh/Lav. I played favorites since I created this space and I have no problem exposing my horrible self lol She's the perfect person for me, always challenging herself without being afraid of failure. Even if she has some terrible flaws, she does her best to process them in a mature way. Writing her helped me a lot coming to terms with some things in my personality that I despised :'D she pesters influences the two realms of being, basically. Also she's gorgeous, isn't she? *pinches cheeks* bella de mamma 💛

Newest OC:

HER. The icon, the legend, the witch of the needle. Adra, trans-woman, city elf, much bitch, such stylist. She calls people by titles she invents on the spot based off their personality (which is a thing that cannot be transferred into the english language since titles aren't a thing ;; sigh), she's one that states what's wrong with you right in your face, and she's constantly in pain because of her job - one day is her back, the other it's the eyes, but somehow humidity is always involved. She calls herself old but she's not that old, like, she's in her 60s << anyway, she takes advantage of it a lot for her own entertainment. Coming from the Denerim alienage for then moving to Highever, she has had all the experiences one can think of so she appears a bit skeptical when it comes to big scale projects born from righteous ideals. However she seems to believe in the Inquisition. Well, she trusts its leader and her work, but she's a fereldan through and through so she's leaning more on a "I'm gonna judge the overalls when I see the results" attitude. So far, she's satisfied, but she'll never express it. Queen Anora #1 fangirl.

Oldest OC:

Rhian, daughter of Beathan ...who at the beginning was a Lord of the Rings OC but then she turned into something I'm using for a personal project with a medieval fantasy setting, so now she's running free and untied from a beloved franchise :'D weee There is some bisexual awakening going on but it's actually a story about found family, gender roles, and honesty. I'll get back to it at some point. Hopefully. She's the Mulan of my roster, pretending to be a man to join the local army and having to deal with a big menace while questioning her faith on authority. She's very brave, caustically sarcastic, an average soldier, and has loud opinions that always put her in trouble. Also she's a capricorn, she can open jars and she will let you know until she dies.

Meanest OC:

Lenore fucking Shepard WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED LMAO She's manipulative, controlling, outright nasty towards pyjaks, and would 100% push you towards the zombie horde as bait if that means she gets to save herself plus her squad. She does have a few reedeeming qualities but it's not even slightly enough to grant her a "maybe she's good on the inside" consolation prize. To be fair, she's the most emotional character of the bunch, super sensitive towards children and people that can't fight for themselves. The ones she likes, yeah, but still! Hands down my favorite store on the Citadel <3

Softest OC:

All of th--

Absolutely him. Mr. Rivelli. Wiccan, chemistry genius, chainsmoker, incapable of interfacing himself emotionally with those surrounding him. He's quite the introvert, but he daydreams like a pro and he's very passionated about his interests. He can't look at people in the eye, but he's the most loving and communicative plant dad one could think of <3 He's a soft boy, he just has a lonely nature. He's part of a project called "The Wedding Planner", it's a boy meets boy story, both of the main characters are in their thirties and there's a "what am I doing with my life" type of approach to the plot. It's a 30 years old / mid life crisis type of story, basically, with a wedding. The wedding is important. Very. It makes it cheesy. We worship cheese in this household.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC:

Absolutely him, and it's a coping mechanism. Castor "Cass" Actius never shows emotions because he bottles all them up. And it's a long bottle - he's very tall. I was torn between soft and aloof in this case, but he's definitely one that acts like he's the calmest but in truth he's screaming internally all the time. Probably one of the characters I can relate to the most lol He's all legs and sugars, has a thing for tea, he's the fourth of four siblings and probably the most well adjusted out of them - which says a lot about the state of his family considering he's clinically depressed and an addict << He's a great leader, calm and detached, also he doesn't seem very approachable at first. At second as well, and at third, and at... But he's a cool person with big mom energy. If you're under his command, prepare to be scolded frequently, but also to be defended strenuosly in front of his superiors because you're perfect and you did nothing wrong, never in your life!! Best baker of the bunch, sorry Hawke.

Dumbest (affec-- lmao they wish!!) OC:

These three. They all trusted the apostate. On a scale from Stupid to "I trampled on my feet and now the kitchen is on fire" however, Ela is definitely the one sitting on the ambulance with a blankie on her shoulders. Here, have a banner all for yourself, dumbelina <3

Although I'm talking about that kind of stupidity that makes you look like a fool during situations that require a little bit of foresight or planning. She basically winged some of the most important decisions during the Blight, the others were taken because of her strong sense of honor and justice, but like You can't apply that all the time and then go surprised pikachu face when people call you out for being impulsive.

Smartest OC:

Him. Hands down. Serge "Twinkles" R'lyeh. He's MacGyver with the sensitivity of Tori Amos, also he's your therapist and your sugar daddy at the same time. He's an aerospace engineer turned infiltrator turned spy turned college teacher turned practical fx specialist turned distinguished officer during the war turned loving husband and best uncle... Like, there's so much to him! He lived a tons of lifetimes at once because he's talented brilliant incredible amazing showsto-- Probably the second favorite, because he seems like he's perfect but he has a problem taking responsibilities. He's also very childish, egocentric, he second guesses you as if it was a competitive sport when it comes to things he can do better, and his mouth is the envy of every sailor from here to the Attican Traverse - because he swears a lot but also for the other reason *cough* I kinda loved having to deal with someone that was on top of many skills, it made so much room for planning a big downfall <3 oh, and he fell. Hard. I'm gonna stop but know that I would keep writing about him for other 30-40 paragraphs, gushing and blabbering incoherently because he's my special self absorbed space kitty, trust me on that. I'll just say that he built a working real life deluminator when he was a fluff. he smort

OC I'd probably be friends with:

None of them, they're terrible people with a lot of problems and I made them like that so if I had to meet them they'd ki--

It's them. Ankh and Kerry. Who else? I need the extrovert friend who ignores my rain checks and comes to my doorstep with a pile of books concerning the strangest topics, and the chill friend who can cook a brilliant pasta while he listens to me complaining about the post office. Also, they're the ones I'm the least afraid of. On a more serious note, they have a huge deal of compassion and care; he's an empath, she's an active listener. Also I vibe with creative people that show a huge passion for what they're doing, plus I wouldn't mind having to bury some animal bones from time to ti-- cook and bake. I like to roam around the kitchen with my friends and talk about whatever. We talk a lot in this household <<

This was a lot and I'm sorry but y'all read the introduction of this blog, the blorbos are my Jub-Jub Bouvier and I can't help myself :'DDD

[shantaecadaver]

bolo_fucking_dies.mp4

Anyways shoutout to Rottys' devastating kick fueled by her immense lesbian power that no one but Shantae herself can match.

Also let's be real, Sky deserved that shit, given how she was awful throughout the entire game. Yes I still am bitter about how much the writing in Seven Sirens was just.....not great-

Also sorry I'm so inactive on posting here, it's a damn shame I don't see more Shantops content on the regular. I should get back to drawing them myself every so often.

Tldr life has been very fucked & I am starting to finally get my shit together & I feel motivated about art again & that means I'll hopefully get around to squeezing in some Shantops art while pumping out my other stuff. Plus I've learned to edit videos (like the one I posted here lmao) & my art has finally started getting better & more creatively fulfilling. idk man it's nice to have positive change

Anyways love you shantops squad, our lesbians remain peak & real.

Also yes I know about the "new" GBA Shantae game. I just hope it's good & well written. But it's also pre-pirates curse so sadly we're not gonna get that damn kiss scene that they better fuckin' put in the game after this bc I am DAMN TIRED OF THE WRITERS BEING COWARDS. JUST LET THEM CONFESS ALREADY, we are LONG overdue by now. It should have happened in Half Genie Hero, that was literally the game that had every single thing set up to have an amazing scene & they just chickened out with the classic "they were close friends" type sh-YES IM STILL SALTY. I will never let that go. That is DUMB & STINKY y'all.

Uh youtube upload of this if you desire

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

OPE those guns o.o

Yeah that does not look good xd

Hmm who are we telling that we're referring to them as Captain Nash and his wife?

Oh gosh them all 😭😭 they all look so worried :(( 🥺💔❤️

Understandable xD

Uhh is that a bomb o.o

Yeah that's very Bobby

Uhh ohh y'all 😬😬

🥺🥺 BOBBYY

Yeah of course he is xD an icon lol <3

UHH OHHH 😭😭😬

Y'all when I tell you I am NERVOUS

STRESSED AND STRESSIN xDD

This better all end up okay lol

Including their relationship because that's one I'm most scared for xD

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, so now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

AAAHHHHHHH I'm so glad to have my babeys back :D.

Now, given that I'm writing this part on the day of episode 3 and I haven't watched episode 2 yet lol, this will be very short. I might come back and edit later xD.

BUDDIEEEE!!! I'm telling you they're a family. Why are they such a family? I don't know. Anyway poor Chris 😭😭💔❤️. That scene at the end, with the letter, was so good <33. And oh my gosh don't even TALK to me about Buck talking to Christopher and then it planning to Eddie in the hall 😭😭. I was not okay over that and I'm still not <3. Also, a callback to Eddie's panic attacks by having him use a strategy to help that woman was so cool :'DD. He slayed <33. Also the joke after?? They're so in love, your honor <33.

Hen! Don't remember much of what she was up to but she slayed :)). And she's doing great as Captain 🥰🥰! Also her not feeding into Athena's delusions xD (although we of course find out that they aren't but yk it's just a funny moment lol).

Chimney and Maddie! Chim stressing was a mood lol xd. And honestly, making sure you make time for yourselves amongst your jobs, child, and wedding planning is a good idea! But don't try that hard lol. Like y'all figured out, you don't need to :). But yeah, I'm glad they just decided to relax <3. Love them 🥰🥰.

Bobby and Athena! I be slightly concerned for them o.o. I'm sure everything'll be fine in the end relationship wise, but it's stressful xd. And poor Bobby 😭. I promise it's not something you've done Bobby xd. Anyway, SLAY on the investigating though lol :D. And even though I feel for him I'm glad Bobby set aside their issues and had his priorities straight lol xD. Anyway, hopefully all goes well with those pirates 😬.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! It's so good to be back :D. I think the cruise ship is a really unique disaster - as are the issues with Bobby and Athena's relationship lol. By that I just mean, it's interesting/nice (even though it hurts) to see some struggles for them (that aren't external) :). There were also really great moments with everybody else, and I'm glad we got to see home ans the ship! Plus, there was a good spread of focus today :). Anyway, I'm a little nervous about the next episode, but I'm sure everything will be alright. It better be lol. Also, the calls were really cool today :O.

So, yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was great :D. It was lovely seeing my babeys again :). I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 1: Abandon Ships

It was amazing! I'm interested to see how everything's gonna go down on the boat, and people's reactions. I'll be back here next time with my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 2: Rock the Boat

See you then!

[vegapunk-aurora]

Can someone please just say the Ask Tales blog is permanently closed? It honestly hurts to look back at it with even the slightest optimistic glimmer of hope.

Hi Anon,

I'll go ahead and field this, IDK if any of my fellow former ToA mods got this message as well or not but hey, I was kind of unofficially looked to as the Owner so it's on me either way.

The short answer is yes, it is safe for you and anyone else still wondering to consider Tales of Answers over. All of us mods, while we still keep in touch, have largely moved on to other projects and gotten much busier in our personal lives, to the point where even with all hands on deck maintaining the blog at the rate we did at its peak is unfeasible.

It's also a matter of loss of interest. I still love a lot of these characters and I had a blast getting into their heads while it lasted but my interest in the Tales series as a whole has waned significantly since those days, and I think I speak for the whole ToA moderation team when I say that. Part of it is we agree that there is/was an overall severe decline in the series' writing quality for a while, but it's also just that naturally people move in and out of interests as their lives go on. Our hearts aren't in it anymore to the extent that we could produce content for this fandom with any kind of consistency and quality, and it wouldn't be fair to us or anyone who remembers our work fondly if we tried to go back to it without the passion we had when the thing started. Or, worse, start using ChatGPT or some bullshit. Honestly, that had already faded pretty significantly by the time we put a pause on the project, which was most of why we did it in the first place.

On that note, there was also a lot of Fandom Drama and toxicity to deal with back then. I've been somewhat disconnected from the wider Tales Fandom for the past several years so I don't know if it's cooled off, but at the time it was pretty exhausting to be entrenched in. For what it's worth, I don't think we were completely devoid of fault in any fandom drama that ensued, and I apologize if we ever did anything particularly incensing to anyone reading this.

In any case, I will say that yes, Tales of Answers is considered closed by its former moderation team. We consider passing it on to new mods out of the question, as it was a personal project by a group of friends and we don't really want to pass it to someone we don't know and can't guarantee would operate it in line with our own views and wishes. However, the good news is that there's absolutely nothing stopping someone else from starting a new Tales mailbox blog and taking up our mantle themself! In fact, if anyone is interested in doing so, please feel free to make use of all our character animations, which you can find on the blog itself. Most of those weren't even made by us, it was kind of a free for all to begin with.

Will we ever return in ANY capacity? Hard to say and I wouldn't count on it. For my part, I've considered occasionally popping in to make little unprompted skits whenever the inspiration strikes, but as y'all can see, said inspiration hasn't struck significantly enough in the past eight years to actually do it. Maybe I will some day, if any of the other mods still attached to the blog want to they're invited to as well. We're probably not gonna open the mailbox back up, though. Sorry.

ANYWAY now that I've disappointed everyone, if for some reason you still want to keep an eye on whatever I'm doing, I'm pretty inactive here these days. You can find me on Twitter (for however long it takes for Muskrat to kill it) at @aceofplaces, or on CoHost at @vegapunk-aurora. I have a lot of little projects I don't talk much about in public brewing in the background, hopefully some day I'll have one congeal enough to actually be worth sharing.

Now go, be free. Thanks for holding a candle for us for so long and sorry for making you do it for nothing, it is sincerely pretty validating to know this weird little shitpost factory my friends and I made when I was in high school ended up meaning something to somebody even now. Take care of yourself.

-Aurora (formerly Mod Ace)

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[magicalara]

So...2022 huh

It's time for Em's yearly letter to the blog where I talk about it since the new year's coming in about an hour and a half in my timezone. Prefacing this with a tw for talks of depression, anxiety, horrible friends, and no proof reading. Here is my word vomit and if you don't get to the end, happy new year everyone.

So 2022 was one of, if not the, worst year in my 19 years of living. It started off with the pressure of a class which if I didn't pass, would essentially mean I couldn't go to college, and is ending with me having to walk on eggshells around people and feeling just...so anxious and depressed. Before I get into that, however, in order to save the people I want to specifically call out from having to hear about my depressing word vomit, I'm gonna mention them first.

So I can't make a new year's post without tagging my girl @pinktea99 who has been around for what feels like ever. I think it'll actually be two years of our friendship early next year I don't remember for sure, it might be three...time is fake it doesn't matter anyways. Between the amazing fanfictions you used to make that I still go back to every now and then and now just tagging me in posts you think I'd like, Mo you've been the biggest supporter I've had since I practically started posting real shit on this hellsite and I could not be more grateful. You're on of my biggest inspirations and I love and adore you so much. Let's go into 2023 with just as much happiness as you've given me in 2022 and even more. I love you so much, my dear 💜💚

Next up (and honestly the only other person I have to tag oops 💀) @docmartensanddietcoke my beloved. We've only been friends for a few months now but hot damn do I feel like we've known each other for years. We clicked so quickly and it kinda scared me at first but in such a good way??? Idk but you're amazing and so sweet and passionate and I just love talking to you so much. You've made me so excited about writing again after so long of being stuck in an endless loop of writer's block and just general insecurity that led to me not posting. I'm so happy I met you and I can't wait to see what 2023 brings us. Much love to you and thank you for showing me the pleasures (nudge nudge wink wink) of the pairing that is William T Spears and Mey-Rin 💜♥️💜

Okay so now the other stuff lol. So if you're one of the 20-30 some-odd people who started following me from seeing all the black butler bullshit I post, you wouldn't know but I used to be a kpop blog. I'm like 99% certain that I privated/deleted all of those posts though so yk hopefully y'all don't see that. I still reblog my nct loves because they are my ult group and I love them very much but I used to like only post about kpop. I had to switch because I just wasn't happy with it anymore. I had always envisioned myself as having a blog full of things I loved but after coming back from a break where I saw the fandoms I loved to interact with having gone to shit, I couldn't do it anymore. So I got rid of it all and rebranded 😃 It was honestly a really good decision though and I'm glad I did it because it reminded me of the reasons I started a tumblr account in the first place: to be happy.

For as creepy as certain sides of the black butler fandom may be, I've never felt so supported. Y'all are amazing and I still can't believe any of my posts got passed 50 notes let alone my top three all being just shy of or completely pass 100. All of the interaction is so appreciated and I can't wait to interact with you all more in the new year <33

With the good, though, comes the bad. So much of the last half of my senior year was full on unnecessary bullshit and drama and breakdowns. From the feeling of being stabbed in the back by people I thought I could trust, to being almost taken advantage of in my first wlw relationship, it just was not a great time. This really sucked, though, because my greatest hope was for my senior year in high school to be something worth remembering as I wasn't able to do anything the previous two years since covid put a downer on all of that. But whatever, I graduated and kept the people I wanted to and dropped those I didn't. It's still a work in progress in dropping some of those people, but in getting there lol

I got my first job, which I still have now, and I love working there. There are better days and worse days (I work in public service so there are always those karen's who will come in) but I love the people I work with and am glad that I decided to take the offer to work there when I did. I have some good memories there that definitely are core memories

I can't do this without mentioning the passing of Technoblade. If you didn't know who he was, Technoblade was a minecraft youtuber and streamer who helped so many people with his amazing and funny videos and his stories that he created on the Dream SMP. He unfortunately passed in June this year due to cancer. When I watched the video his dad made announcing it, the world went silent. I spent that whole night and much of the day after crying my eyes out. I couldn't imagine someone who had brought me so much comfort being gone. Hell I'm still not over it, and I don't think I ever will be. Techno was a huge influence, inspiration, and comfort for me and always will be. Fuck cancer.

I had many family problems throughout the year that I won't get into because that's a little more personal than I'd like to get to on such a public place lol. Just know that to all of you who are celebrating alone this year, I feel you, and my heart goes out to you. We aren't alone if we're all together

The one huge positive that I do have to mention is my starting to watch anime. I decided to take the plunge and watch ouran highschool host club because of a cosplay I saw of hikaru and kaoru on tiktok that made me go "oh what the fuck I'll give". I went in not expecting to finish even episode one and came out with new comfort characters and a world I couldn't leave behind. After ouran, I found kuroshitsuji and we'll...here we are lol

On top of the comfort I found in ouran, I found a series that was so much darker but had such good characters that I started to connect with and love. Grelle has been such a huge comfort for me and I can't imagine myself leaving her (or the series) behind at any point for next long while. Seeing such an empowering transgender woman really did it for me and I'm so happy I decided to watch this show and subsequently binge read the manga. I can't wait to see all the kuro content this next year brings

I've lost people this year, I've gained people this year. I've cried so many tears of sadness and absolutely no tears of joy. I've spent way more money than I should on genshin impact and food. Most importantly, I've found a place where I think I can start to build myself up again. Good fucking bye 2022, I'm gonna do my best to make 2023 my bitch and I think that y'all should join me. Thank you all for being here, and I wish you all a happy, healthy new year

If you've made it this far, new chapter of forever forgiveness comes out in two weeks ;)

[carmenized-onions]

[fair warning: spoilers ahead]

my duuuuuuude what a fucking delight it is to find a story like this one and a writing as good as yours. truly deserves a (carmy's) chef's kiss 🤌🏻😙

i binged it in one sitting and i'm ready to re-read it over and over until the next chapter is out 🫡 your writing is phenomenal and your comedy lines and scenes are so sharp and so in tune with the show's vibe i'm truly in awe

i absolutely love "reader" fics where the author gives so much thought and creativity into the character's background that's basically an oc and you're doing a beautiful job here with tony 🥹

i personally love stories where the main character has a history with michael and/or the rest of the fam, independently of carmen, bc for one i hate love interests that are treated as just that and two bc i absolutely love this crazy dysfunctional but somehow functioning family and i love how you wrote their relationship and how easy tony slipped into their lives once and then again even after spending a year away

ANYWAY all to say i'm in love with this story and these absolute fooooooools about to fall in love and i can't wait to see where you're gonna take us next, captain <333

VV sweet of you to put a spoiler warning up top, daw.

I'll take this paragraph by paragraph, because it had me kicking my feet in the air like a fuckin' school girl. Everytime someone says I write in tune or accurately to the show, I get a shot of dopamine. I'm in film/tv so like, I'm writing fanfic out of pure anguish that i'm not a writer on the bear LMAO. So I'm really fucking happy to hear I'm doing it some justice. I love the show, and I truly have an impossible time writing anything without a smidge of comedy-- So I'm glad it works in my favour here :))

And SO DO I!! I read x readers like an original character, basically-- They've got personality and backstory but like, only in the ways that puts them in the story, and then besides that, it's all you baby!!

I LOVE this insane found family of The Bear, and so it would be a fuckin' knife to my heart to not write rich relationships with them-- I only wish I could go a little farther with Tina or Marcus, but for now there's not a spot for em. Alas. Hopefully later. hehe. And writing for Mikey has been such a (bittersweet) joy. I'm really excited to see what y'all think as we get more snapshots of their past relationship. And I love the way you worded that!! Tony slippin in !! I don't think it could've gone any other way, I feel like, to the folks at The Beef, her return is like, a less shocking equivalent of Mikey coming back-- You're too happy to have them to be upset at all.

This ask truly gave me so much life, and I hope you continue to send em in, cause I loved hearing all these thoughts!!! Please continue to enjoy readin' and send em in-- Truly even if a new thought occurs when reading-- I fuckin love to hear it!! I need to start naming Anons, fr.

[inheritedthrowaway]

hi it's op. some more info, since we now know A LITTLE BIT more and I'm not as completely out of it as I was when I submitted this:

-to all of the people saying to get a lawyer: I promise I wasn't trying to come here for legal advice lol. tbh I kinda figured that that would be something we would have to do. I've returned home, but Phineas told me before that his close friend offered to set him up with a lawyer for this situation, so I'll let him know to get on that when he's able. unfortunately, the stress of everything + his job has been keeping him somewhat unavailable, but if what some people in the notes is saying is true, I guess this was always gonna be a long process anyway. its been less than 3 weeks since it happened, tbh looking back I'm surprised we've done as much as we have.

-but on that note I was less worried about the legal side than the moral side. truly Phineas and I are down for whatever she is ok with us doing that we are legally able to do--except paying our dad's portion of the debt, bc we definitely can't afford to do that. it turns out they still owe like, more than half of what the house is worth, and it's a house in a major city on the West Coast so that's A LOT. so the point is kinda moot anyway bc it wouldn't really make much difference if we gave her anything bc we could not afford to come close to covering that anyway. so the actual question of if we'd be assholes, I guess, is No, bc we can't anyway.

-the more concrete monetary situation is this: myself, Phineas and Aaron were the 3 beneficiaries of his life insurance, splitting it even 3 ways (I was told I get 34%, so I assume they each get 33%). I won't share the exact amount here, I'll just say: it's less than a quarter million, but it's got 6 digits. which like. when I heard the number I almost threw up. I saw some in the notes saying "uh 5 figures isn't exactly life-changing." y'all, my partner and I each make under $20k a year. we live paycheck-to-paycheck. any amount that is more than a years salary (or hell, even HALF that) is gonna be life changing in some way for us, even if that change is "we can now afford to move to a different apartment if we need to".

-(since Aaron is underage and can't legally enter a financial contract, his mom will probably be in charge of what happens to his share. not sure there's much we can do about that but hopefully she does the right thing and puts it in a CD or whatever till he's of age)

-we still never did find a will, but other than the money in his bank account (probably not a lot, considering his bills), the trailer and the half of a house, my dad didn't really own anything that would be worth fighting over (his vehicle was completely destroyed in the wreck). its mostly all things like clothes, the furniture in the trailer, multimedia stuff, etc, nothing else with like deeds or official ownership or whatever. Phineas and I have been pretty much on the same page regarding everything to do with his estate so far in abstract, so idk how much a lawyer needs to be involved in figuring out who gets his Big Bang Theory DVDs. but we probably will add it to the list anyway, cuz the dude was kinda a hoarder and has 2 storage units and a shed we need to go through so who KNOWS what he's got put away.

-to the one person in the notes shaming me for "writing his cheating off as polyamory" or whatever: as I said in the post I am literally polyamorous myself and I'm not excusing his actions, but I am calling it like I see it. he was absolutely a cheater about it I just don't want people getting the impression that he was some gross womanizing asshole, cuz he wasn't. my dad may have been stupid but he wasn't like, a piece of shit for fun.

anyway the whole situation has been incredibly exhausting and I get the feeling the paperwork has only just begun. in my defense I've never had to deal with the legal side of somebody dying before, so I'll fully admit I don't know what I'm doing lol. thanks for the feedback, I'll probably leave this account up for like a month or something if anybody has further questions and/or advice.

@am-i-the-asshole-official

here's a wild one for y'all. cw for parental death. names have been changed, it is a kinda specific situation but I think only 1 of my family members is on Tumblr so whatever. sorry it got so long, it's a complicated situation and still VERY fresh so my brain is kinda fried lol.

tldr my dad passed away without a will and we want to give his long-distance "side" gf the house he helped her buy. I'm worried she won't be able to afford the mortgage, but don't really want to give her any of the monetary payouts. WIBTA if my brothers and I kept all of the cash?

so late last week (it's Dec 19 as of submitting) my father (60s M) passed away in a sudden car accident on his way to work. I'm (late 20s ftM) his oldest child, I also have a younger brother (mid 20s M) who we'll call Phineas and an even younger half-brother (almost tween, M) who we'll call Aaron.

so I'd describe my dad as a kind and loving but stubborn and stupid man. I would also guess, based on what I know of his love life, that he was polyamorous but didn't realize it due to his conservative Christian upbringing and didn't know it was an option so instead ended up being...well, kinda an adulterer tbh. this isn't to excuse his actual actions bc they were obviously wrong, but is the way the situation reads to me, a polyamorous person.

Dad had a long distance girlfriend (50s??? maybe??? F) on the West Coast (we live near the East Coast), we'll call her Melody. I met her a few years back when he flew Phineas and I with him to visit her. she's a sweet woman from what I know of her. when I got the news of his passing, I was the one who called her to let her know what happened. (which sucked.)

well, what I Didn't know until I was trying to scrape together travel arrangements (I live 5 hours away from Phineas and my dad) was that he also had a Wife (60sF), who we'll call Patricia. (it wasn't a legal marriage, it was "in the eyes of the Lord" as they said, due to legal complications to do with her social security benefits or something. which is why the arrangements for his death fell onto Phineas and I as his adult children. but if he called her his wife then as far as I'm concerned that's what she is.) he didn't really tell me or Phineas about the full nature of their relationship. Phineas found out bc our dad was spending so much time with her that he'd practically moved in w her, put two and two together and asked her to confirm. I never even knew she existed till all this happened. he had told his parents and siblings about her, and they approved of her. we can only speculate why he kept it so quiet to us, she thinks bc of his history with Real Duds that we'd be upset somehow. idk.

so anyway Patricia knew about Melody. my dad was already seeing Melody when he started seeing Patricia. I don't know what he was thinking when he got with Patricia tbh, can't ask him now anyway, but she knew about Melody the whole time. wasn't thrilled about it, constantly told him he needed to tell her the truth and end things, but doesn't truly hold that against Melody herself bc she didn't know.

Melody, however, did not know about Patricia. he was planning to tell her at some point. kept meaning to. still loved her, didn't wanna hurt her, but was also trying to be monogamously committed to Patricia too. he never got around to actually ending things with Melody before he passed, and as far as she knew he was still planning to move out there and get married to her. he even took out a loan to help her pay for her late mother's house, both their names are on the mortgage and deed.

which brings me to my question. my dad didn't seem to have a will (not that we can find anyway), so Phineas and I are the ones in charge of distributing his various belongings and payouts and such. we both agree that we don't have any use for some house across the country, and Melody is already living in it anyway. imo she should just Have It. however, she is also Pretty Poor. I don't know the specifics of her situation (or, really, much about the complications of home ownership?) but I do worry about her ability to continue to pay the mortgage, assuming that's a thing. we're still waiting to hear about all the details and numbers and have somebody who actually knows about that stuff translate it into layman's terms for us non-homeowners (or in Phineas's case, Brand New Homeowner) so we can get a full picture of how all that is going to work legally speaking.

Dad also had life insurance thru his employer. we are still working thru the red tape at his company to figure out who the beneficiary is, the most likely candidate being me as the eldest child. Phineas and I are agreed that we'll at least be splitting most, if not all, the money evenly between us and Aaron. Patricia is INSISTENT that she doesn't want any of it, she wants us kids to keep it bc unlike some of his exes she never cared about his money (he made GOOD money, but still ended up kinda poor due to both being generous to, and having been taken advantage of by, multiple women since my bio mom died. including having to shell out an insane amount of child support for Aaron despite already having a very active role in his life. like he paid more child support than either I or my fiancee even make at our jobs, while also frequently just straight up directly providing for him where he could). because of his income it's looking like a pretty hefty payout.

however, my brother and I are both pretty poor as well. while we don't know the exact amount we're getting, some are speculating a number that, even split 3 ways, would be Life-Changing for us. we're talking 5 figure amounts, more than I or my fiancee make in a year. like we'll still need to work for a living but, for example, it could be a down-payment on a house or a massive safety net for when I'm out of work (I have a steady job but with seasonal unpaid breaks). it could help Phineas afford expensive repairs for the trailer he now owns, which my dad was supposed to help pay for. in the right account with a decent interest rate, it could be tuition for when Aaron goes to college.

I feel like I Should probably toss some of that money Melody's way, esp since I feel so bad that she's getting the one-two punch of finding out her bf died AND also he had a wife she wasn't aware of. but my brothers and I could really use that money as well. I don't know that Phineas wants to send her any, we're saving that conversation for when we know more of the exact numbers. I don't even know how much Dad was paying towards it, or if he even was anymore. plus--and this is kinda a minor detail--but there's kind of a general vibe I'm getting from the Family (ALL 4 of my dad's siblings AND both his parents are somehow still alive) that Melody is kinda...unliked. they love Patricia and were CONSTANTLY frustrated that he was still visiting Melody and frequently sending her money; I get the feeling they viewed her the same as some of his other gold-digging exes so i think maybe sending her Even More Money would look a little weird? like she's already getting full ownership of a house out of the deal. most of them are in agreement that Phineas and I are the ones who get the final say on the bulk of these decisions but they're...a little pushy anyway.

like I said, we don't know what any of the actual numbers look like AT ALL yet, so it might actually be fine. but WIBTA if we just left her the sole homeowner when she couldn't really afford it, and not send her any money? the consensus will probably show up too late to affect our decision but hey, figured the situation would make for a wild ride anyway (or maybe I just feel like that bc it has been for me LOL).

What are these acronyms?

[trash-gobby]

How about a little NFSW with Brahms, maybe the reader has tried to leave the house to buy something and Brahms didn't take it well and will use all his weapons to stop the reader from leaving....

(Gone Sexual 😉 someone please stop me with these titles)

Word Count: 1.2K

Pairings: Brahms X GN!Reader

Characters: Brahms Heelshire, Reader

A/N: Heeeeyyy! Here is your Brahms NSFW fic. In fact my first proper mini-fic that NSFW (not including headcanons in this obvs). Also this is PWP so there isn't much build up to the "action" that takes place. Hopefully this is alright. It's also my first time writing smut for the internet to see, so I have no idea whether this is gonna be very good or not. I'd really appreciate any constructive criticism if there are moments that seem to OOC or inaccurate, as I am still learning and doing reading on how to improve my writing! I feel a little unsure of my own writing, if it's too boring and stuff so I hope y'all still like it anyway.

RATING: R 18+

Reader Pronouns = they/them

⚠️This is an 18+ post because of the NSFW!!! That means I DON’T encourage anyone who interacts with NSFW content who is underage. I’ve talked to other people who’ve been long time content creators and users of this website and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not your parent and can’t control what content you consume. IF YOU SAY YOUR UNDERAGE IN YOUR PROFILE OR HAVE AN AGE UNDER 18 I WILL BLOCK YOU! Just consume responsibly, and know your limits. And If your a minor please DNI

Detailed warnings under the cut

Warnings!: hand job, hair pulling, dry humping, choking

It wasn't up for debate. You needed to go out and get some drain cleaner. It was the only way you were going to fix this particular problem with the drainage system in the bathroom. However, that meant that you were going to have to actually leave the house, and that was a whole other matter all together. Your gonna have to go through Brahms to do it, and you know you'll have to deal with a tantrum.

He sits on the floor in the living room tuning his violin when you enter into the doorway. Looking up, he places the violin down into its case and rises to meet you.

"So... Brahms, I know we've talked about the rules before," at your mention of them he cocks his head to the side almost in confusion, but the body language he gives is tense and ready for you to say something he doesn't like.

"I know I'm not supposed to leave you, but I really need to get drain cleaner and I can't get someone from the grocery store to pick it up a bring it here on such short notice," Immediately he takes several steps forward grabbing your shoulders hard enough that it hurts. Your going to have bruises later.

"Brahms I have to go," You manage to jerk yourself from his grasp and turn to leave, beginning to walk to the doorway.

"I'll get you something from the sweets shop on my way back, but this is important." Before you could even make it to the doorway you felt Brahms long limbs wrap around your waist and his body leaning into yours.

"No, stay," he said in his childish playful voice, leaning his head on your shoulder, the scruffy hair of his beard brushing against your neck.

"Brahms," you sighed, rolling your eyes and trying to unfold his arms from around you. This action only made him hold tighter, drawing you closer to him.

"Stay," This time his words weren't as soft or childish, but deeper and more serious. The cold porcelain of his mask nuzzling into your neck, causing a shiver to run up your spine. You were now in a precarious position. One where Brahms was either going to throw a tantrum of glom to you until you'd change your mind and give up. But this was not gonna be like all the other times. This time you were going to stand your ground.

"Brahms I have to do this please. If I don't fix this it will cause lots of problems for you and me later, and don't you want some candy? You love-"

Your words were taken from your lips as your felt Brahms hands ghost over a sensitive spot on your stomach.

"Brahms," you said with a slightly more stern voice, though the fight was starting to wane out of it.

"Y/N," there was an edge of something primal and desperate in Brahms voice as he brings one of his other hands to run it over your hair, then slowly cups your face. His fingers trace the line of your jaw line, lower and lower, until his hand found its way to your neck.

"I can make you stay?" It was asked as a question, almost like permission for him to continue whatever it was he was doing, though you were pretty sure you had an idea. As much as you wanted to get that damn drain cleaner, your body and mind were betraying you. Your mind focusing on every feather-light touch, and your face heating up, flushed.

Fuck it.

"Only if you can convince me. So, convince me," you whispered, placing one of your hands into Brahms black curls and pulling his ear to your lips, nipping lightly at it.

Your words seem to have an effect on him and you feel Brahms take a sharp intake of air. He tightens his hand resting around your throat, not so much that you can’t breathe, but enough that you know it’s gonna leave a bruise in the morning. His other wandering hand makes its way slowly down to your abdomen, dancing softly over your hypersensitive skin.

The heat of your arousal was prominent, as you felt yourself becoming aware in your most intimate places of every soft touch Brahms gave you. He was clearly also just as aware, for as he reached the waistband of your pants he hesitated.

"More?" he said, voice husky and whispered in your ear.

"I don't know why you stopped," you playfully snapped back playfully.

His grip on your throat tightens enough to silence you as his other hand makes its way lower, until you are overwhelmed by the sensation of his hand so close, yet not close enough. His teasing, playing just outside the area of finally giving you what you desire was only making you more excited.

You could also feel that you were not the only one eager to get things underway. Brahms body pressed up against yours, you could feel his throbbing cock pressing against you through both your clothes.

His hand eventually found its way to your sex, starting his ministrations slowly at first, making you whine deep in your throat. It felt so good to feel him on you, giving you this level of affection. Every touch sent sparks through your body, making you moan even louder.

Brahms responded with a sound of his own guttural sound, almost between a growl and a whimper, rubbing up against you from behind, creating friction between his hard cock and your body.

His strokes began to become more close together, in between your thighs, underwear wet, dripping with arousal. You could feel yourself quickly coming undone with every quick intake of breath, pressing yourself into his hand to create more of that sweet pressure on your sex.

"Please," you hissed as your climax edged closer and closer. Brahms responding by gripping your throat harder and really laying into the most sensitive spot which he knew drove you crazy every time. Your fingers found themselves winding through his coal black locks again pulling hard.

The wet sounds of flesh on flesh emanated from the living room along with your loud moan of his name as he brought you to the edge. All you could focus on was the overwhelming pleasure and that it was all coming from Brahms.

Your last thought before the dam of your mental and physical climax, was how this was all for you, to keep you here, and he'd definitely done a fantastic job of convincing you to stay.

The force of your orgasm made your knees almost buckle, shaking while being supported by his hands.

As your mind cleared from the haze of post-coital bliss, you detangled yourself from Brahms searching hands. He was breathing heavy and still hard as a rock.

Turning to face him, you licked your lips before placing your hand firmly on his chest, backing him onto the couch, crouching between his open legs as he sat heavily on its plush surface.

Brahms looked down at you heavily lidded eyes behind his mask capturing your every move.

"I can get the grocery people to deliver the drain cleaner with the rest of the groceries next week," you smiled.

[prince-simon]

Hej💜 I've become a huge fanfiction lover in the last 10 months since joining the fandom and I'm curious about comments and commenting! I don't write myself but I try to leave comments as a little thank you for getting to enjoy the art. So I decited to send some questions to the writers I follow here. No pressure to answer ofc I'm just curious, I adore you writers 🦋

1. Do you often leave comments or kudos on stories ? Why/ why not ?

2. What do comments mean to you?

3. What are your favorite type of comments to receive? Long and thoughtful ones? Favorite parts or lines? Praises? Asdfghjkl? Guesses or hopes for the future?

4. Do you reply to comments? Why/why not?

5. Has there been any negative comments? How did you deal with that ?

6. Are there comments that are not necessary negative but you just don't enjoy?

7. Do you ever get nervous how people are going to receive something you are writing? How do you deal with that?

8. Has there been a moment when someone interpreted your writing in a totally different way that you intented or misunderstood you in the comments? How did that make you feel ?

9. Do you ever go back to your comments? Are there comments that stayed with you?

10. Is there something you wish us non-writers would know regarding writing or commenting?

If you are a writer and I didn't ask you, please answer anyway if you feel like doing that! I only follow so many ( and also wanted to ask this anonymously because I'm shy hah). I'm so thankful for all you wonderful writers out there, this fandom is full of super talented people 💜

hiii friend!! 💗 i'm so happy you're enjoying fanfic so much!! thank you for leaving comments as much as possible!! that honestly means so so much!!

okay these questions are fun so here we go!

i try to leave kudos and comments as much as possible if i enjoy a story bc i know what it's like to get that little notification that you got a new comment as a writer. that little serotonin boost can mean so much!

comments mean EVERYTHING. like they say you write for yourself and no one else but obviously we're just human, and we love validation and recognition and like i said. seeing that someone took the time to leave a comment, no matter how small, on something you spent hours and hours of work on and that you decided to share to hopefully bring joy to someone else- like, it's such a special feeling to hear someone tell you how much your story means to them

i honestly don't know if i have a favourite type of comments. i loveeee people quoting their favourite lines back to me, i am incredibly in awe of in depth analysis in comments of what people think lead to a certain situation or how it'll affect a character and all that. i get super emotional about people telling me that my story affected them in a positive way, made their day/week/month better or helped them realise stuff about themselves. but honestly keysmashes are just as fun bc to know that my silly little words made someone speechless? that's amazing too

i make a point of replying to comments - sometimes it might take a while but i just appreciate y'all's comments so much, i wanna make sure you know that

gonna put 5 & 6 in one. i don't think there's been any outright negative comments, the support has been overwhelming. i have been getting some comments where people point out decisions i made that they don't like and those always confuse me a little bc it is my story and it's been written already, why point that out? there's no gain in that. like it's out there what do you expect me to do? i'm not gonna change it. (that doesn't refer to pointing out language things, like those i appreciate). also other comments that i don't enjoy are the "no pressure but..." comments asking when the next update will happen. i'm writing 20-30k chapters in my free time while doing uni full time and work. it's gonna take some time and comments like that are more discouraging than anything else

^^^

oh yeah i'm a ball of anxiety basically, i worry ALL the time ahhaah. how do i deal with it? mmmh i'd say i don't jdjdjfk i panic rant to my friends lolol

i don't remember but i don't think so. if a different interpretation happens it's more like a "oh that makes so much sense!" and it inspires me actually

yeah i definitely go back to comments. there's one comment that is just pure poetry that i keep coming back to but in general it's all the comments that tell me i somehow changed/influenced someone's life

really the only thing i can think of are the "no pressure but..." comments. they're not helping. i know they're well meaning but they're in fact very pressuring and sometimes even lead to not wanting to continue a story at all. there are other ways to voice your appreciation. even a simple "can't wait for more" is perfectly fine (for me at least idk about other writers) but asking for more. now. doesn't do anything good

[the-astronomial]

Hi, everyone! I did my first beauty spell jar. Hopefully, you guys like this recipe. Also, I recommend doing a cleanse or protection work, first. Because, I noticed spell jars are super powerful, which means it can accidently manifest negatively whatever it is you're, trying to bring (into your life). Like, for example, you're doing a money spell jar, and you don't cleanse, first. Then, all the sudden you're getting money, in a negative way (like illegal dealings, being sold to someone (by a loved one) out of nowhere, etc. This is why, on spell jars, I HIGHLY suggest using protection, cleansing, and/or warding. If you're not sure how, there are a lot of free resources online or in books. And there is more than one way, to do a cleanse. I do not recommend white sage, though. Preferably, palo santo or bay leaves is ideal. You can even use three white candles in a salt circle, to burn.

Anyways, back on topic. Here's the beauty spell jar. This can be use used for any intention, as long as it's related to beauty. You can even make one for a friend or family member, as well. Time to get started~!

So, you're gonna need a taglock of whom this spell is for (or a piece paper with their full name written on it), pink/silver/or red thread, honey, rose petals/or rose buds, calendulas, lavender, chamomile, or any other herbs relating beauty (specifically). Also, I learned recently that with spell jars, you should only use ingrediants that only represent what your intentions are. In this case, an example would be... Roses versus mint. While, they both relate to beauty, roses would be best, because mint mainly represents abundance. See, what I'm getting at? That's why roses would be the best option, in this scenario. It manifests the goals of beauty, much more easily, compared to mint leaves.

Moving on, other ingrediants include cinnamon (as a booster), Himalayan pink salt, a splash of either orange juice or milk, any crystals you're gonna use. This could be rose quartz, pink diamond, amythest, citrine, or any other stone relating to you're intentions. Choose, wisely! You could also, throw in other items, such as a red or pink food dye, an object (like a heart-shaped charm), or whatever the heck your gut tells you will work. As, long as it still relates. Just make sure it'll all fit in the jar, though! Which leaves the last ingrediant; A jar of any size.

Now making the jar, open that jar and clense the hell out of it. Literally! That, and all the other ingrediants (if you can). First throw in your taglock. If you're using a piece a paper with the full name, roll it up. Tie it with the colored thread you're using. Finally, throw it into the jar.

Now to state your intentions. Either think it, or whisper it towards the jar. Choose your wording carefully, too. This is why I worked on what to say, before doing this jar. As you, think or whisper the intentions, do what you can to put energy into your words. Feel it with all of your heart, from the inside out. Feel that energy flow? That means it's working. When finised, it's time to add each ingrediant, while you're intentions are still filled with energy. Add Himalayan pink salt, honey, rose buds/petals, calendula, other herbs, a splash of milk or orange juice, and then lastly, crystals or any objects that you're gonna use. Say, thank you and seal that lid. Feel free to seal with candle wax, or even a nice big cloth or ribbon. Could even draw a beauty sigil, on top.

With that hide your jar, so it'll go undisturbed. Working on the goals, allows to jar to really work. So, workout, go get a makeover or whatever the heck you wanna do. Heck, you might just need to do nothing. It'll depend on how things are in your case. Finally, it's finished. That took awhile, to write! *wipes away sweat*

Anyways, I just did this, recently. That means I've yet to see if it works. I still have the jar hiding somewhere. I'll update and let you guys know.

Goodbye, my starries! See y'all another time. And take care. :)