#anyways I’m gonna eat some wings and read transformers

[vi050iv]

I hate you Megatron (I’m biggest liar in the universe)

[panda9584]

To the Stars

By usuallysunny on ao3

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Chloe Decker

Summary: “Maybe it was last night. Or the night before on the balcony, when you were up against the—” ...a missing scene

Warnings: !NSFW!

Notes: A missing scene from season six that the Lucifer writers robbed us of. We want balcony sex!! The lovely usuallysunny on ao3 has given us the scene we’ve all been asking for :)

Words: 2708

You can read below ⬇️ or read on ao3 (link above)

It doesn’t surprise her anymore, the heady way Lucifer looks at her.

He’s looked at her many different ways over the years.

When they first started working together, he looked at her like she was a puzzle for him to figure out, dark eyes curious and intrigued. As they turned from unlikely colleagues to even more unlikely friends, that look softened around the edges. She remained fascinating to him, just out of his reach, but as he memorised her coffee order, and added her favourite 90s playlist to his sound system, he became more interested in actually knowing her, what made her tick.

As they became closer still, brought together by a crazy professor and a poison that danced her on the edge of death, she began to see a spark that was more than lust in his eyes. Somewhere along the way, between the banter that set her teeth on edge, and all the cases to solve, he had grown to care for her. Desire still blazed behind his eyes, glittering mischievous and wild, and she still tried her hardest to fight it—but he stopped trying to sleep with her, and started trying to be with her. In all the ways that count.

In the uncomfortable year after Cain and before Eve, she started to hate the way he looked at her. She couldn’t see the care or affection anymore, muted by pain and betrayal. But the longing was still there, keeping her on a precipice, dangling a carrot, not allowing her to let go. It’s the most shameful thing in her life, what happened with Kinley. She remembers that night in the penthouse, when he’d asked her if she could accept him. She hadn’t been ready then, and remembering that look—dark eyes glistening wet with so much hurt—makes her feel a little sick.

Chloe hopes he never looks at her that way again.

There’s so much reverence in his eyes when he looks at her now. He can freely admit he loves her, it no longer lodges in his throat, tangled in excuses. He’s lost her too, felt her die in his arms, and died for her in return. He looks at her like she’s something sacred, something to hold onto, and while it no longer surprises her, the intensity of it still takes Chloe’s breath away.

Through it all, no matter the time or place, the look is always tinged with want. He’s Lucifer Morningstar, after-all, and desire is his playground.

The look he sends her now as he prowls towards her, bathed in the soft yellow hues of the elevator behind him, clenches heat in the pit of her belly.

Her mouth feels too dry as she walks backwards towards the balcony, feeling very much like prey. She wonder if she can be called such if she wants it so much. She wants him to devour her, to crawl inside her, to become one with her and never let go.

“I thought you wanted desert,” her voice sounds deeper, huskier, in her ears as he continues to close the gap between them.

That’s what he’d said at the restaurant anyway, carelessly tossing a few hundreds down as he insisted they’d finish their meal at home. She’d expected him to drop her off at the penthouse and slip down to the outrageous kitchen that covers the entirety of floor 42. Then he’d return with some brownies, or ice cream, and yes, they’d probably eat it off each other’s bodies, but that’s besides the point.

“I do,” he insists as she steps backwards onto the balcony, cool night air hitting her body. Almost immediately, she feels her nipples pebble under her dress, a faint tremor shivering over her skin.

His dark eyes, pupils already blown to black, drop to between her thighs.

Her breath catches, molten heat pooling in the pit of her belly when she realises what he means. So she is to be prey then, she thinks wryly, as he steps outside with her and backs her up against the balcony’s railing.

He leans in, surrounding her in a cloud of whiskey and smoke. His mouth skims her jaw, warm lips trailing to her ear.

“Hold on,” he orders in a silken purr, accentuating it with a soft bite on her earlobe. His mouth curves into a smirk at the shudder that races down her spine.

She does as she’s told, her slightly shaking hands travelling to grasp the railing either side of her.

He straightens, his hands trailing an electric path down her sides until he firmly grips her hips. Then he lifts her, planting her on the balcony’s edge.

“Lucifer!” she gasps, her stomach dropping as she takes in the bustling LA nightlife below.

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ve got you,” he croons, “I’d never let you fall.”

She swallows, turning her head back to face him. She has a death grip on his shoulders, made tighter by Amenadiel’s rod hanging from a chain behind her bullet, and she looks into his eyes. They shine sincere, blown wide with desire and so much love, and she trusts him.

“Yeah, you too,” she says softly, her words taking on a deeper meaning.

He smiles, genuine and momentarily devoid of seduction, before he leans in to let his lips brush against hers. She sighs, her heart stuttering in her chest. They’ve kissed hundreds of times now—from passionate, tangling tongues to a simple peck goodnight—and every time feels like the first.

Her hands travel from his shoulders to his face, feeling the rasp of his neatly trimmed beard under her palms. His own hands fit at her waist, holding her securely as he finally kisses her properly. His lips are warm and firm as they glide over hers, his tongue slick and probing as he runs it over her bottom lip. He swallows the moan she doesn’t mean to make as she opens her mouth and their tongues connect.

Every slide of his tongue against hers sends a spark of heat between her thighs. She shifts on the balcony’s edge, needing to rub them together, to relieve the ache. Her fingers dance to the nape of his neck, playing with the soft curls there. He hums in pleasure, the sound vibrating against her lips and intensifying the ache in her core.

He tugs her closer, stepping between her thighs as she spreads them wider. With one hand on the small of her back, he pushes her into him, letting her feel the evidence of his desire. She breaks away from his mouth with a moan, tipping her head back as she rolls her hips against his thick erection.

He kisses her cheek, her jaw, her neck, down to the hollow of her throat.

When he drags his mouth back to her ear, she’s breathless, and he’s panting, and he sounds utterly wrecked as he murmurs, “I want to taste you.”

A shiver that has nothing to do with the cool LA air passes through her.

“Please,” she whispers.

“I’m so glad you wore a dress,” he can’t help but quip as he slowly sinks to the floor, crooning his next words behind her knee, “now we just need to work on those crotchless panties, hmm?”

Chloe smirks, rolling her eyes to the sky.

“Not happening, Lucifer.”

“A devil can dream,” he sighs, and slowly draws her panties, crotch and all, down her legs.

She shivers again when her pussy is exposed to the night air.

“Always so wet for me,” he murmurs, as though he’s talking more to himself than to her, and skims his nose along the crease where her thigh meets her groin.

“Yes,” she whispers, her fingers tightening around the railing, “for you. Only for you.”

He gives a pleased little hum, one hand coming up to bunch the fabric of her dress in a fist of silk at her back. He holds it there, and holds her steady, as two fingers of the other hand swipe over her slit. She gasps at the first contact, her breath catching in her throat.

She’s close to begging again when he finally slides his tongue over her. Her hips arch towards him, her toes curling into cool glass, her fingers gripping the railing so tight, she’s sure she can hear the whine of bending metal.

He doesn’t seem to mind, focused on the task at hand as his talented mouth wrings out her pleasure. The sounds he makes as he eats her out border on obscene, thick growls and low groans and hot sucks as he focuses his attention on her clit. Her thighs tremble around his head and she glances down. She catches a shock of black curls against tanned thighs and she dares to lift a hand from the railing to tangle in his hair.

Over the past few months, she’s come to learn what he likes, so she’s not surprised when she tugs at his curls and he growls into her cunt, spurred on by the sting of half-pleasure, half-pain. His tongue rolls over her, hot and slippery slick, and her moan is almost a sob by the time he slips two fingers inside her.

He pumps them languidly, crooking them in a come-hither motion as his mouth returns to her clit. He takes the hard little nub between his lips and sucks hard. She cries out, cloaked by the privacy of being hundreds of feet in the air. She wonders if she’d care if she wasn’t. It’s difficult to see clearly when he’s making her eyes roll.

“Lucifer,” she sobs his name like a prayer, the only religion she clings to, as she feels herself approaching the edge, “please… I’m gonna—”

Desire strangles her throat. He hums, fucking her faster with his fingers as he licks at her.

“That’s it, baby,” he purrs, the pet-name one he only uses during sex, “come for me.”

She faintly registers the snap of his wings as she does.

Her orgasm rushes through her, exploding with a force that makes her arch her back a little too far. She sways for just a moment, not even long enough to panic, before there’s a flash of brilliant white and one of his wings is behind her, catching her as she rides the wave. The feathers tickle at her, intensifying the sensation, as he growls into her heat.

She shudders, her body shaking in the afterglow, and he laps at her lazily until she has to push him away through oversensitivity.

His wings are still surrounding her, casually cradling and caressing her, as she comes back down to earth.

He rises to his feet, brushing off his expensive Armani and adjusting his cuffs. She feels a heat rise in her cheeks at the sight of his lower face, his mouth and chin glistening with her juices. She watches him shamelessly lick his lips, his eyes black.

“God,” she breathes, still shaking.

“Not quite yet,” he smirks, before he arches a brow and asks, “good?”

She laughs, a blissed out smile curving on her lips.

“You don’t need me to stroke your ego,” she says as she reaches for his belt, not waiting for him to undoubtedly reply with a quip about stroking something else.

She slides down from the railing on trembling legs, fingers working on his buckle. Her hair billows as he shrugs his shoulders and furls his wings. The silence is deafening, the air pulsing hot and heavy between them, as she draws his belt from the loops and drops it onto the floor with a clink.

Fresh desire sparks between her legs when he kisses her and she tastes herself on his lips, tangy and tart. She breaks away to kiss his neck, taking in his masculine scent, all scotch and smoke and expensive cologne that clings to his throat. He groans, fingers flexing at her waist. With all his strength and power, she loves making him moan for her.

They kiss again as she pushes his jacket off his shoulders, uncaring as it floats to the floor in a pool of expensive Armani. She works on his buttons next, trying to keep her fingers from shaking, but he’s never exactly been the most patient of men. He’s loud, and unapologetic, and what he wants, he takes.

And what he wants right now is to be buried inside her.

So he leaves his shirt and her dress on, and he only bothers to pull his hard length out of his slacks. She barely has time to register him giving it a few pumps before he’s turning her around and bending her over the railing.

Clearly he’s in a dominant mood tonight, and it turns her on, her thighs turning slick again. His hands are a little rougher, a little less careful, now he knows she has Amenadiel’s necklace. She feels its power rush through her, heady and addictive. She pushes back, pushing her ass into his groin and grinding against his rigid length.

He mutters a curse into her hair. She grabs onto the balcony railing as he prepares her with his fingers again, and then she feels the head of his cock push against her dripping entrance.

“Please,” she begs, breathed into the cool night air.

“Please what, darling?”

Bastard, she thinks, but she says—

“Please fuck me.”

He breaches her, sliding his cock inside. They both groan at the contact, quickly fitting into a steady rhythm. She meets him thrust for thrust, feeling him withdraw almost entirely before he pushes back in. One hand holds her hip, angling her for his thrusts, while the other comes to lay on top of hers, entwined fingers curling over the balcony.

“You like that, Chloe?” he purrs, her name dripping from his lips like sin as his hips snap behind her, “you like being fucked out here in the open?”

She moans, slightly surprised at how his words turn her on. She knows he’s vastly experienced, has probably had sex in every position, invented most of them, and he’s probably a master at dirty talk—but for her, it’s all very new.

“Yes,” she confirms breathily, hooded eyes focused on the twinkling lights of the city below, “yes, Lucifer. Right there.”

He hums his approval, both hands flying to her hips. It falls silent save for her pants and his grunts, and when he slaps her ass, the sound of flesh on flesh pierces the air.

“Fuck,” the moan glides out of her without her permission, “again.”

He obeys as he gives her another smack, a thick sound rolling from his chest—half a moan, half a delighted chuckle. She imagines the red imprint his hand will leave behind and clenches around his length.

His thrusts turn long and deep, the angle hitting the perfect spot inside her. Her breath hitches as he slips a hand up to her throat, pulling her up, back against his chest. Her fingers remain curled around the railing, her head rolling against his shoulder.

He keeps a loose grip around her neck and turns her face to kiss him. Her lips tremble against his as she feels that coil inside her snap again, her orgasm rushing over her. Her tightening cunt milks his own orgasm from him and she feels his cock jerk and pulse as he comes, moaning into her mouth. He fucks her in shallow thrusts as they come back down, some of his cum sliding down her inner thigh as he pulls out.

“I love you,” he murmurs after a moment, just because he can. Just because it’s easy now.

She smiles and kisses his lips, “I love you too.”

Then she glances upwards, and thinks of the strange angel who had flown into her life a few days before.

Maybe this is how we made her, she wonders absently, another lightbringer created under the stars he put in the sky.

Two days later, when Rory and Lucifer meet again, something rare and fragile blossoming between them, Lucifer recalls, “maybe it was last night. Or the night before on the balcony, when you were up against the—”

And like a feeling stuck deep in her chest, Chloe just knows it was.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters

Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)

Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:

I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.

Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.

Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.

Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.

(read more under the cut)

Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.

Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.

Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.

It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.

And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.

And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.

But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.

Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.

For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.

Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.

Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.

Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.

Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.

After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.

Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?

Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”

Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”

Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?

Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.

They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)

So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.

Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.

Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.

That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.

Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.

After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.

and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.

Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.

Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.

There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.

Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.

Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.

In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.

Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D

Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.

Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot. 

How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”

Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.

This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.

And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.

Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.

And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)

And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.

So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.

Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

See you next time!

[descendantofthesparrow]

Interlude - Rewrite POYW - Part 5 - Future vision and new VKs

=

-two days later(August 2016)-

Uma perked up from the small sea glass bead bracelet she was working on, a smirk growing on her face as you appeared from the brush of the forest and walked toward her, a black bag in your right hand full of food. “Took you long enough, I even started working on this!” Uma held up the unfinished bracelet and set it to her side, making grabby hands at your bag as you stepped closer to her “Gimmie, I know you brought pineapple wedges.”

You laughed a bit and held out the bag to her, taking the bag off your back and taking out a towel and laying it down on the sand before sitting next to Uma “I brought your pineapple wedges” which Uma was already getting into “Some mac and cheese that Gil made, chicken breast, cornbread, and some packs of apple juice. bone app a teeth” Uma gave you a look at your last couple of words but shook her head at your grin.

“Weirdo” she mumbled, pulling out the containers filled with chicken and a fork, popping open the lip, and chowing down “Damn, who made the chicken?”

“Someone in the kitchen” you chuckled, picking up the box of cornbread and grabbing one to eat “Harry, Gil, and I didn’t feel like eating in the cafeteria last night so we took some of the food from the kitchen that the students have access to that was in the ‘take whatever you want’ fridge that the chefs load up with so much shit, and Gil made the mac and cheese like a day ago, everything is pretty fresh” Uma shoveled some of the mac and cheese into her mouth and groaned, her eyes fluttering.

“Fuck that’s good, even on the isle Gil was a good chef, he needs to cook more” you laughed at that, grabbing a box of apple juice and stabbing it into the top.

“He does, he makes bomb cookies too.” Uma perked up at that, giving you a look that said ‘bring me the cookies or I drown you’ “Hey! Don’t give me that look! Next time he makes cookies I’ll bring ‘em, okay??” Uma continued to stare at you with that look before nodding, satisfied with your answer.

“So?” Uma swallowed her food and dug out an apple juice box from your back, pointing at you with it in her hand “Updates, what happened with the new vks? I saw the limo go in and out two days ago.”

“Complete success, we got Harriet, CJ, Sammy Smee, Skipper and Sterling, and Dizzy all off the isle, and they’re all at the dorms now, Harriet’s gonna be transferred to the college next quarter and school starts next-next week” Uma nodded at your explanation, twirling the fork in her hands. “Your hair looks really good by the way” Uma looked at you, a soft smile on her face.

She had undone her braids about a week ago, to let the ocean water properly flow through the strands, and now rested against her back and shoulders in thick curls. “Thank you” she hummed, picking at her cornbread “I've been trying to get the…shrimp smell out”

You furrowed your brows and reached up, stopping yourself a few inches from her hair “May I touch your hair?” Uma glanced at you, slightly surprised you had asked, and nodded. Tilting her head a bit as you gently tugged on a lock of her hair. “it’s really soft, and personally I don’t smell anything bad, especially not shrimp, more…the ocean and coconut” Uma laughed a bit as you released her hair and set your hand back on your knee.

“I've been using coconut to take care of my hair…good to know it's working” you smiled to yourself as a soft grin grew on Uma’s face, one of her hands reaching up and curling a lock around her finger.

“Yeah… Evie's business is picking up” Uma raised her brow, as if saying ‘nice subject change, and I care why?’ “Well” you laughed, pushing Uma’s shoulder a bit as she rolled her eyes “hold up a moment im getting to the good part, but her business is picking up and Harry works for her as a model” Uma’s brows raised at that, “Told you, anyway he works for her as a model and with her business picking up, he models for her more often and she's paying him for it, soooo Harry’s getting fucking moneys~”

Uma hummed and picked at her chicken slice “Really? How much?” you grinned, making Uma sit up and grab at your shoulders “Okay how fucking much is Harry making from modeling; because that grin tells me he’s already rich.”

“He very well might be in a year or two” you laughed, gently removing her hands from your shoulders and readjusting your sitting position. “somewhere between 30 and a thousand per paycheck” Uma gave you a blank stare for a few moments before she rolled her eyes.

“Okay don’t tell me then, sheesh” you fell back as you laughed, Uma twisting around and sitting cross-legged, picking up another apple juice box and sipping at it.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry, um, Harry and Evie said it should increase as her business grows n stuff, but right now he’s making about eight hundred a paycheck.” Uma turned to you with wide eyes, mouth dropping open slightly in shock.

“whaaat?!” she screeched, dropping the now empty apple juice box into the sand “Eight-hundred?! That’s more-that’s more than I've made in a month at my ma’s shop!!” you laughed a bit, nodding your head as Uma continued to stare at you bewildered.

“Yeah, he’s already put a lot of it into a savings account, something about getting an apartment for us in the future with room for the Smee boys and his sisters if they ever needed a place to stay, but that won't be for another year or two since you have to be 18 to rent an apartment without parental permission.” Uma smiled a bit, Harry was one to think of the future, even on the isle. He would stash away rubies and gold coins in a savings stash under a floorboard in his old apartment for when they got off the isle.

“That sounds nice, make sure he gets one with a pool for me yeah?” you laughed again, shaking your head a bit as you and Uma side fist-bumped.

“I’ll make sure of that yeah” you took out your phone and sighed, standing from the beach and wiping the sand from your pants “I got to go, Ben wanted me for a meeting at 1, I'll get the bag when I come back tomorrow, see you!” Uma accepted the crouch side hug from you and waved you off, casting a spell to keep water off and out of the containers of food and the bag as she packed it up and dove into the sea, swimming back out to her mother's old hideout.

She slowed to a stop in front of the main opening, stepping through the air bubble she had made a while back and snapping her fingers, the water disappearing off her body by magic. “There we go” she mumbled, swinging the backpack off her shoulder and walking over to the “kitchen” area of the old hideout. She stashed away the food into the “fridge” aka old spell and potion cabinet that she had cast a cold holding spell onto to turn it into a makeshift fridge.

With a wave of her hand, her clothes transformed from a tank top and calf cut cargo pants to a long-sleeved red shirt with a hook stitched to the chest and black leggings. She stretched her arms behind her back and groaned as her back pop slightly.

Uma sighed and looked around the hideout, eyes landing on the claw-shaped cauldron in the middle of the room. it was odd, being in her mother's famous lair, but…also comforting, in a strange way.

She couldn't explain it, but…she felt safe. Probably because the only people that came around here were teens or kids on a dare and were easily scared off. So Uma was pretty much alone in the deep of the ocean.

Uma walked over to the little corner she had turned into her bedroom and sat on her bed, picking up the orange blanket you had given her cotillion night and curling it around her, staring off into space as she thought about…well everything.

From the new vks, the transfer plan, her boys, you, the isle, the vks still on the isle…the future was so unknown, what she would give for just a glimpse, just so she wasn’t so scared for it.

wait

Uma’s eyes widened, drifting between the clawed cauldron and a small set of books that were hidden behind her mother's vanity.

She could see into the future!

Uma lept off her bed and towards the books, pulling them out until she found one with the symbol of twisting water and tentacles appeared in her hands “there you are” she whispered, she had gone through these books when she found the lair and in them, she found hundreds of spells and potion instructions ranging from simple hair or visualization spells to transfiguration and curses.

“Future vision, future vision, future-ah!” Uma landed on the page she needed and stood, walking over to the cauldron and conjuring a stand for her to set the book on. She set it down and read the instructions, it seemed she would need to both make a potion and use an incantation.

“Okay, I got this” she let out a breath, rubbing her hands together as she spun around and walked over to her mother's old ingredient cabinet.

The tail of a sea worm, the clenched fist of a long-dead merman, the head of a fish, wings of a dust fairy pixie, and the eye of a seer. She carried the items over to the cauldron, casting a levitating spell to keep them next to her as she reviewed the spell.

“Okay, okay I got this” she took another breath, opening the caldron and tossing the ingredients in, leaning back a bit as smoke and vapor released from the cauldron. “Oof, okay”

Uma took one last look at the book, muttering the incantation to herself as she held the eye of a seer above the cauldron.

Finally, as she dropped the eye into the brew, and she clutched her necklace as the incantation echoed around her.

“Though winters past and summers morn, the future will be shown/the sight clear and sounds echo, I see into a world unknown”

Uma leaned back a bit as golden shimmering dust rose from the cauldron, slowly forming into a shape…of the isle. “The isle?” Uma mumbled, leaning closer to the image, squinting as she watched the golden magic bridge build and a limo enter the isle, the main bridge part looked very different than the rundown broken castle-like area she was used to, it looked to be rebuilt with signs on the front. “They’re getting more kids, when is this?”

The isle disappeared and was replaced with the image of a golden calendar, showing the present date then suddenly the pages were torn off at a rapid pace, Uma desperately trying to keep up with the passing dates before it stopped.

Uma blinked and looked closer, her brows furrowing as she looked at the circled date. “August 2nd…2019?!” Uma took a step back, her hands clenching at her side, three years? The vision she had seen before was in almost three years? But…it could possibly be one of many pick-ups? “How many vks have been picked up between the six from two days ago and the vks from the vision just before” Uma hoped the spell worked like this, she was in for shit if it didn’t.

Thankfully, that’s how the spell seemed to work, the image of the calendar disappeared and the sand like magic stayed dormant, shifting within the caldron…it seemed the spell didn’t know how to answer that question “Maybe I need to make it clearer?” Uma hummed, tapping her fingers against the rim of the cauldron before it came it her “How long will it be between the six vks two days ago and the next transfer of vks.”

The calendar appeared again, now first showing the date of two days ago, and then ripping off the pages rapidly “Oh no.” Uma muttered, sinking down to her knees slightly as the calendar stopped at August 2nd 2019 again. “two and a half years? Seriously?! What the fuck?!” Uma growled and knocked over the stand that held the spellbook and whirled back around at the cauldron “Why does it take so long!?”

The calendar disappeared again and was replaced with a long table with about twelve people sitting around it, and she could recognize King Ben sitting at the end, his head held in his hands as the others all held a hand up, glowering at the young king. “His council?” Uma murmured, looking at the faces of the people to see if she recognized anybody, only able to pick out Aurora mother, who had her hand up, and ex-king Luis, Cinderella’s father-in-law, who had his hand down, seeming to be on Ben’s side of whatever they were debating.

“What did they vote for?” Uma asked, biting her lip as the council disappeared and a paper took its place, the top reading ‘Application for juvenile Reunification’. Uma furrowed her brows, confused for a moment before she kept reading, rage bubbling in her gut as she did. “They have to fucking apply??! Just to get the freedom they deserve?! Do they agree to this?!”

The application disappeared and was replaced with the moving image of Ben and (y/n), Harry glaring at the king just behind (y/n). (y/n) was yelling, so was Ben, both motioning to the paper in (y/n)s hand. “That must be the application thing or whatever” Uma muttered, smirking as (y/n) crumbling it in her fist and shook it in Ben’s face.

Ben seemed to nod and point at it, and Uma leaned in reading his lips ‘that’s what I want to do (y/n), but I can’t! When they overrule me, I can't do anything about it! I’m sorry, but if we don’t go by their rules then we don’t get kids off the isle im sorry!’

(y/n) shook her fist in his face again and turned, walking towards Harry and burying her face in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and glared at Ben, Uma leaning in again to read their lips. Ben spoke first ‘I am sorry, I’ll try to get everything ready as soon as possible, but some of it is going to take almost two years, maybe almost three! Especially the shelter and cps agency, and the council required those to be done before we can even send out the applications’ Harry stared at Ben for a moment before looking down at (y/n) and pulling her tighter into him.

‘Get it done beasty boy’ Harry seemed to growl, his lip set in a slight snarl ‘and quick, if this takes longer than yeh say, you’ll be hanging from the mast’ Ben nodded, turning back to his desk and picking up a thick folder.

‘I'll hold you to that’ Ben said back, about to say something else but the image disappeared before Uma’s eyes before he could finish.

“Dammit,” Uma muttered, rubbing her with her palms as she grit her teeth. It was the same reason they had taken so long after Ben had promised to get her off the isle after the coronation, the council kept pushing back everything, so stuck in their old ways of thought that they just couldn’t bear to have more vks in Auradon.

“Bastards” Uma growled, standing from the floor and looking back in the cauldron, it seemed the spell had finished, and she wouldn’t be able to ask any more questions about the future. “Ben, (y/n), I hope to Hades you don’t fuck this up for those kids”

-

Celia couldn’t help but keep her eyes locked on the spot where the Auradon limo had been parked only two days ago, the spot where Dizzy had left her on the isle.

Dizzy had promised to get her off next, whispering it in Celia’s ear as Dizzy hugged her tightly just before she left. Dizzy was hardly one to break a promise, even in a place where promises were never kept, so Celia trusted her.

She just hoped that trust wouldn’t be proved wrong.

Celia sighed, looked at her watch, and realized she had to go pick up some stuff for Hades before her usual fortune-telling shift in front of the arcade.

She quickly traveled to the market and snatched up some cans of corn, cans of refried beans, and a large loaf of bread, that was only a day past its baking date. Celia took another loaf for herself and her dad, suppressing the smile she had as she walked towards the mines.

it was nice having actual food to eat, Celia no longer went hungry every other night and no longer needed to scrounge for money to get the food that was being kept on the market thanks to Harriet's crew that was making sure the merchants weren’t keeping the food away from everybody due to selling it at a high price as they usually did for the better food as they did before the program.

“Celia~” A velvety voice cooed behind her, and Celia turned, raising her brow as she spotted Ginny Gothel, Mother Gothel’s daughter. Ginny Gothel was a flirt, a heavy-set young woman who dared to blow a kiss to Harriet and survive. her dark curly hair was in a short bob that showed the shaved part of her neck. her face, which was always either set in a glare or a flirtatious smirk, was painted with dark makeup. she collected crystals and rings to adorn herself, black and dark red fabrics flowed around her body when she strut down the market place with pride. she was a part of the older villain kids, so respect came with her presence.

“Celia darling~” Ginny cooed; Celia just slowly nodded to show she was listening “do you think you can ask Dizzy if she's got an opening? I need a touch up” Ginny's hand reached up and brushed against the back of her neck where her hair was beginning to overgrow where it was supposed to be. Celia huffed, fixing her grip on her supplies for hades.

“First, I ain't in charge of her and you can go find out yourself I ain't your errand rant, second, Dizzy left two days ago” Ginny's eyes went wide at that “She's in Auradon now, with all those prissy people, so tough luck, eh?” Ginny groaned and leaned heavily back against the wall she was next to, throwing her arm over her eyes.

“Noooo how am I ever going to get my hair cut now?! Dizzy was the only one to understand exactly what I needed!...” her arm dropped to her side as she pouted, looking back at Celia who just stared at her with bored eyes “Well I could go to the hearts salon but I do not trust that mad queen with those sheers”

“Suck it up and get it cut you weenie” Celia snarked, smirking as Ginny scoffed at her and walked off, presumably to the queen of hearts salon.

Celia shrugged Ginny's dramatic attitude off and made her way to the mines.

-

Ginny sighed dramatically, rubbing her hands against the back of her neck again, she really did need a touch-up. But Dizzy was in Auradon and she was the only hair person Ginny trusted with her hair. The last time she went to the hearts salon she ended up with the wrong cut and length.

But then again. Ginny stopped in the middle of the street, hands on her hips as she pouted at the floor, she really-really needed a touch-up on her undercut.

Fuck it, if it got fucked up, she’d fix it herself.

She twisted on her heel and walked over to the side of the isle that housed the red-hearts salon. She pushed the main door open and crossed her arms, her dark amber eyes scanning the customers and workers.

“Ey darling, you here for a cut or a dye?” Ginny turned, smirking as she locked eyes with one of her closest cohorts on the isle, Colin Hearts. The only other person she trusted with her hair, she had hoped they were working today, and lucky for her they were.

Colin was a lanky teen, their heels making them seem taller than they really were. they always seemed to wear flowing shirts and tight pants, and wore five-inch heels more often than not. Their natural dark red hair had been cut into a fluffy bright red Mohawk and their brown eyes were hidden behind purple contact lenses. Their teasing lips were always painted with black lipstick, and their nails sharp and red.

Ginny walked to her “friend” and they shared a quick handshake they had made when both of them were young. “Yeah, due for a buzz on my undercut, think you can do that for me, hun?” Colin looked up at the ceiling, their painted lips in a false thinking pout “Colin.” Colin smirked at Ginny's low tone and nodded.

“Yeah, I can do that for you, come on~ you know my station~” Ginny gave tight-lipped smile to Colin and strut over to the scarlet red chair with painted white hearts that Colin had decked out a while ago to claim it as their station.

Ginny sat down and crossed her legs, examining her black nails as Colin settled behind her. “So just a touch up, eh?” Colin murmured aloud, Ginny nodded in confirmation, leaning her head back to peer at Colin.

“Don’t fuck it up or I take those red lace pumps you treasure so much” Ginny grinned as Colin gasped at that and pushed their hand to their chest at her threat.

“How dare you~!” the two shared a nasty grin and Colin reached for their electric clippers, throwing the hair catcher towel around Ginny's neck and turning the clippers on. “So did you hear that Harriet ‘n her sister left to Auradon two days ago?” Ginny gasped at that “Really?” Colin leaned into Ginny's line of sight “You’re obsessed with that girl; I’m surprised you didn’t sense the moment she left the barrier” Colin chuckled at Ginny's glare and went back to her hair.

“Dizzy’s left too” Ginny sighed, twitching as Colin let out a small laugh.

“I know, if she wasn’t you wouldn’t be here” Colin lifted up the back of Ginny's hair and started to buzz her undercut, going quiet as they focused on not cutting more than Ginny wanted.

“Smee’s boys left too, all three of ‘em” Colin muttered, shaving the design into Ginny’s undercut “Six more vks off the isle, wonder if any more will follow” Ginny hummed at that, watching Colin in the mirror as they worked at her hair. That was a question, would there be more vks to follow the six that left two days ago?… Ginny hoped so, she would love to get off the isle and away from her mother.

“Think they’ll pick any of us if it continues?” Ginny asked, leaning on her hand as Colin tilted her head. Colin shrugged after a moment.

“Dunno, maybe not us, but-” they nodded their head to the right, Ginny's eyes following to see Diego De’vil sitting in the salon chair reading a book as one of Colin’s coworkers finished on cutting his hair “-Diego maybe, considering he and Carlos are cousins there might be more of a reason” Diego looked over at them, raising his brow “Ey im not talking negative, just possibilities” he sighed and went back to his book, rolling his shoulders a bit.

Diego was a strapping young man, the older cousin of Carlos and the lead singer and guitarist of the Bad Apples. when he was younger, he would sneer at those who would either compare his looks to his much smaller at the time cousin or accidentally call him Carlos. nowadays he took a bit more pride in being Carlos’ cousin. his hair was cut into a short-brushed back Mohawk that transitioned from black at the roots to white at the edges, similar to Carlos’ hair. he wore red and black most of the time, decorated with spikes and pins with hard combat boots and patched-up jeans. his fingers were calloused from years of guitar picking and freckles decorated his face and shoulders.

Colin's coworker finished up refining his mohawk and took the towel from his shoulders, Diego stood and placed a handful of silver coins into the worker's hands. They nodded and walked to the register as Diego examined himself in the mirror “so De’vil?” He turned to look at Colin, who was brushing off the buzzed hair from Ginny's shoulders “Do ya think your cousin will get you off of here or nah?” Diego stared at them for a moment then shrugged.

“Dunno” he grumbled, grabbing his jacket from the counter and slipping it on “Not up to me, but I’ll do anything to get away from my maniac of an aunt, she keeps mistaking me for Carlos” Ginny and Colin winced at that, remembering the old days when the once runt-like Carlos would run out from Hell Hall with a screaming Cruella behind him, a burning cigarette in her hand.

Pity wasn’t a thing on the isle but many of the younger isle residents would take it upon themselves to keep Carlos away from his deranged mother when possible, even Mal had done it when she was younger and much more…nasty, it was like seeing a puppy being kicked while it was already down, you couldn’t help but just care for it.

Then once Mal created her little group the incidents where Carlos ran away from his brother bruised and bloody lessened, until they completely stopped because he was in Auradon.

Now Cruella, ever the insane woman, attempted to chase after Diego, but Diego was stronger and taller than Carlos ever was against Cruella, and easily battered her away when he needed to.

Cruella didn’t bother him much after the first fist to her face.

Diego waved Colin and Ginny goodbye and walked out of the salon, making his way towards the rundown movie theater for band practice. He turned down an ally for a shortcut and appeared on the other side in the market, making his way down the market to get to the other side of the main street, where the theater was.

As he walked someone caught his eye, and he looked to his right, seeing Claudine Frollo picking through a basket of apples for whatever reason, probably her father making her do the grocery shopping.

Claudine was the bell ringer for dragon hall, she was quiet and soft-spoken, hardly talking to anyone her father didn't approve of. she wore clothes that covered her almost completely, as her father said it ‘keeps the sinful eyes of others away’. her sunflower curly blonde hair was always wrapped in a tight bun, it always got caught in her cross-necklace chain if it was let free. many assumed Claudine was a weak girl, her small frame and wide doe-like green eyes didn't help with the assumption, only to be in for a surprise when it was learned she could knock someone out with one clean punch, bell-ringing every day wasn't an easy task after all. she had many pursuers, many of which didn't go any farther after they were reminded of who her father was.

Diego stepped next to her and grabbed an apple, remembering he was wanting a snack before he had gone in for a haircut. She jumped slightly, turning to him with scared eyes before she realized it was him.

“Oh, hi Diego” Claudine mumbled, going back to grabbing some apples and stuffing them in her black and violet messenger bag.

“Hey” he mumbled back, picking up a sturdy-looking apple and biting into it, suppressing a smile at the crisp texture and sweet taste, fresh apples were so much better than he’d ever thought it be.

Claudine finished filling her bag and nodded at Diego, bidding him ‘adieu’ and turning to go the opposite way Diego had been going. Diego watched her for a moment before turning on his heel and resuming his walk towards the theater.

He arrived soon after and pushed open the doors, walking down towards the left hall past the broken-down arcade and stepping into the 2nd theater on the right.

“Eyyyyy look whose finally ‘ere~” his drummer, Ezekiel, called out to him, as he was sitting down on the stage in front of the screen. Diego nodded to him and climbed up the steps up to the stage, nodding at his bass player and secondary guitarist as they messed with their instruments “What took ya so long?”

“Haircut and snack” Diego shrugged, tossing the apple core to Ezekiel, who gagged and tossed the core into the trash a few feet away “let's get to it”

“Yeah~” Eva, his secondary guitarist and support singer, finished with her guitar and set up the mics and speakers. “Let's do dis~”

Kuvira, his bass player, nodded swinging their bass onto their back, and helped Eva set up the last of their gear.

Ezekiel plopped into his chair and spun his drumsticks between his fingers, grinning at Diego as he took out his guitar and threw the strap around his neck “So what shall we start with~”

“…” Diego looked off to the side for a moment, going through the mental list of their songs. “Different Evil Incoming, let's do that, it’s a wicked warm-up song” his band members nodded, setting up their instruments, following Diego’s lead as he started to shred on his guitar.

-

Claudine let out a sigh of relief as she stepped into her ‘home’, her father must have still been at his church service. She glanced at the calendar on the wall and closed her eyes, he had marked it as an all-day service which meant she was alone in the house until midnight.

Thank the gods.

She walked up the stairs to her room and unpacked her food into the fridge in her room, going back downstairs to pack away her father's food in the cabinets. Her father shunned modern technology, calling it the devil's work.

But Claudine would rather have her food last just a bit longer than they did in the cabinets.

Claudine took off her jacket and stretched her arms, groaning a bit as her back popped, she scanned the living room/kitchen once to look for anything out of place, and when she found nothing, she grabbed her jacket and ran back up to her room.

She closed the door behind her and took off her thick sweater, grabbing a thinner long-sleeved shirt and pulling it on, sighing in relief to be free of the slightly constricting fabric.

She glanced at her clock and smiled, it was hardly even one-thirty, she had plenty of alone time before her ‘father’ was home. As she grabbed her favorite book and walked to her closet, which was the only way to access the attic of the apartment, her mind flashed back to when she was much younger.

She was barely 4 years old when her mother died, leaving her scared and alone in their home. She didn’t know how much time had passed after that but she knew she was very hungry and very tired, that’s when Claude Frollo stepped into her mother's home and found her.

He had been looking for her mother after her mother had missed several church services, and with how devoted her mother was to the church it had ticked off the ‘that’s odd’ box for Frollo.

He found her, and in thanks to her mother for being so devoted to the church, adopted her, claiming her as his own and raising her under the name of ‘god’.

It had been 13 years since then, and Claudine had all but forgotten the face of her mother. She brushed away the memory of the day she had been found by her adoptive father and pulled herself into the attic carefully stepping around her piles of books, pillows, and blankets and settling into the corner next to the window, where she could read in peace with the natural light illuminating her favorite fantasy book.

Her father always said these books were works of the devil, but Claudine loved them too much to care, she knew they were fake but they allowed her mind to wander to a place far from the isle of the lost.

She set the book on her lap and opened it, beginning to read.

Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.

-one week after the new vks are transferred to Auradon-

Ben growled into his hand as he glared down at the new documents the council had presented to him. ‘we hereby overrule the vk transfer plan, it is rushed and unplanned, you bringing six villain children over with no security checks or going through their history on the isle will doom Auradon’

While he and (y/n) had figured out the council couldn’t change the rules of his first proclamation or straight up say no to it, they had forgotten if they got enough evidence or if the whole council agreed they could shut the program down.

Luckily Ben had been able to salvage the isles fresh food and necessities program as it had high security going in and out of the barrier and the Auradon guards personally handed out the shipments to make sure no one snuck anyone or anything back into the ship.

Only one person on the council had gone against the rest, ex-king Luis, Prince Charming’s father. He understood the need to continue to get innocent children off the isle and had adamantly refused to vote against it, and helped Ben salvage the fresh food program.

Ex-queen Leah had been the biggest voice against Ben, and he knew she had orchestrated the meeting and the others to cut off the transfer program, she was still angry at Ben for bringing over the daughter of the fae that had “ruined” her daughter's childhood and ruined her motherhood.

Luckily, Ben had found a loophole, he had shown them his plans for the CPS and shelter, where each vk would have an adult to be in charge of them and a place to stay away from the general population and the council agreed that he could continue the vk transfer plan.

But only once he had finished building both the CPS and the shelter, then they demanded that there would be a more thorough screening of the villain children. In the way of applications, they would give their name, parents' name, fingerprints, an essay about why they wanted to come to Auradon, and then a section for the villain children to tell them about their lives on the isle. And then the council would go through the applications and THEY would approve of who was allowed to come to Auradon, and then Ben could choose out of their approved applications

Ben was angry, very, very angry. All the progress that he made within the last two months, gone. Only a day ago he was able to just point at a vk and say ‘you’re coming to Auradon’ and it could happen, with hardly any mess, yes, he would have to get a guardian for them and then get them approved by the school board for a new student and then get the new vk approved to live in the dorms but, that was a lot fewer hoops to jump through then this new application bullshit which would take so much more time.

And he wouldn’t even be able to be the first person to look at the applications as an unbiased person, they would go through cooky old people who still held on to their grudges against these kids’ parents, and pass that grudge onto the kid who wasn’t even born during that time!

Ben threw down the file containing the new guidelines for the transfer plan and buried his face in his hands. The shelter alone would take almost a year to be fully refurbished to be able to comfortably house hundreds of kids that ranged from toddlers to barely adults, then the CPS?? There was so much more to that than on the surface, he had to hire people, make sure they were certified, give them a place to base out of, get them trained to be able to handle the kids off the isle who most of which were probably traumatized! Get therapists ready, medical staff, kitchen staff, living wages, and so much more that just made Ben's head hurt.

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to make a sixteen-year-old a king? His own father wasn’t king until he was well past his teens, why did he think his kid would be ready for all of this so much earlier than he did?

Ben sighed, lifting his head and rubbing his eyes, this was all going to take over a year, at least, possibly two, maybe almost 3. so the vks would just sit there and wait until they in Auradon were ready to have them come.

Ben felt rage bubbling in his gut, he just wanted to say fuck it and continue doing it the way he was, except with more kids each round. He wanted to go to the isle and just scream at the top of his lungs ‘those who wish to live in Auradon follow me!’ and be able to give those kids the freedom they deserved.

Ben’s anger-filled thought stopped at the sound of slamming on his door. ‘(y/n)’ Ben thought, slightly nervous. He had sent a text to the group chat telling everyone about the council's interference and it was safe to say no one was happy.

Mal had never responded but he heard that there was a new hole in the dorm building wall (which she thankfully repaired but it didn’t stop her from being pissed and deciding to go out for a fly to burn off her anger), Evie had let off a wide range of curse words, some of which were definitely not English, Jay had sent a flurry of random letters and a small rant, Carlos had chucked his phone and was busy repairing it.

And (y/n), Harry, and Gil? Gil was understanding, knowing Ben had no part in it, but the other two? (y/n) had gone silent, and so had Harry.

That was never a good thing.

Ben stood and walked over to his door, dragging his feet slightly as he did. He unlocked it and quickly took a step back as the door swung open and he was greeted by (y/n) and Harry's pissed-off faces.

“So what's this I hear about a meddling council” (y/n) hissed, stepping into the room with Harry following her, closing the door with his foot, and locking it. Watching as (y/n) stormed over to Ben's desk and picked up the file. “How could you let them do this?! Do you know how long it been for those kids?! Eight months!! And now you are going to let them wait even longer!? Fuck that!” (y/n) crumbled the file in her hands and Ben gestured to it as he gave a pleading look to (y/n)

“That’s what I want to do (y/n), but I can’t! When they overrule me, I can't do anything about it! I’m sorry, but if we don’t go by their rules then we don’t get kids off the isle…I’m sorry.”

(y/n) shook her fist in his face again and turned, walking towards Harry and burying her face in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and glared at Ben. The two stared at each other for a moment, waiting to see who spoke first. Ben took the first word “I really am sorry, I’ll try to get everything ready as soon as possible, but some of it is going to take almost two years, maybe almost three! especially the shelter and CPS agency, and the council required those to be done before we can even send out the applications”

Harry stared at Ben for a moment before looking down at (y/n) and pulling her tighter into him.

“Get it done beasty boy” Harry seemed to growl, his lip set in a slight snarl “And quick, if this takes longer than yeh say, you’ll be hanging from the mast” Ben nodded, stepping towards (y/n) slightly and taking the crumbled file from her hands.

“I'll hold you to that” Ben sighed, stepping back and setting the file on his desk “In fact I’ll remind you if it does…what are we going to do about those kids in the meantime?”

“We can't let them sit there in the dark.” (y/n) mumbled, pulling away from Harry's chest and looking towards Ben “You remember the last time we did that, with Uma? You said she thought Harry and Gil abandoned her. We can't let those kids think we are abandoning them again; we need to let them know we’re doing everything we can”

“And we will” Ben nodded, the fire igniting in his chest again as he realized not all hope was lost “Those kids will know that we aren’t abandoning them. Through a newscast or a radio, I don’t know, but we'll let them know”

You and Harry nodded at Ben, who nodded back. “We'll figure this out.” Ben walked around his desk and sat down, glaring at the file. “We won't let them down.”

-end of part 5-

 Part 5! and Uma can see into the future~!! also yep the council are dicks and prevent Ben from doing everything easily. also yep more vks! more to come about them in future parts! hope you enjoyed!

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[marvel-ousfairy]

“Flesh eating plants, are you kidding me???” NALU Oneshot

Author’s Note: Ummm... So I don’t normally post my own writings, but I wrote this literally years ago and figured it was about time I posted it. Better late then never, right? *Chuckles nervously* Anyways, there are a few plot holes and things but I’m honestly too lazy to change it sooo, here you go! Let me know what y’all think. (Also I appologize in advance for any wierd formatting issues. I blame Tumblr.)

Warnings: Fighting, angst with a fluffy ending, killer plants? idk what else to put haha. If you read it and think there are any other warnings I should add, please please let me know.

Pairing(s): NaLu

_____

“Open, Gate of the Golden Bull: Taurus!” Lucy Heartfilia shouted, summoning the celestial spirit to her side.

“Mooo! It’s nice to see you again, Miss Luuucy.” Her celestial spirit, Taurus, drawled as the golden light of Lucy’s magic dissipated.

A large crash echoed through the forest near Magnolia as Lucy dove to avoid getting hit by a thick plant root, only a gaping hole left of the earth where she previously stood.

“Not the time,” Lucy panted before struggling to her feet again. “I need you to get in there and snap those vines!” she directed.

Celestial Wizard Lucy Heartfilia, her partner Fire Dragon Slayer Natsu Dragneel, and their cat companion, Happy, had taken a simple job helping out a local farmer. The request had asked for a few wizards to come assist in the extermination of the vermin rampaging through the owner’s crops.

“Stop pouting,” she said as the trio walked through town towards the agricultural district. “At least you get to beat something up.” She smiled, glancing around at the fruit and vegetable stalls lining the streets.

The pink haired wizard crossed his arms before letting out an offended huff. “I’m a dragon slayer, not an exterminator.” He whined.

The blonde let out a giggle, ignoring his petulant child act. Her laughter didn’t last long, however. Upon their arrival at the little farm, the trio soon realized that things weren’t as they appeared. Much to Lucy’s horror and Natsu’s delight, the vermin that needed bashing turned out to be full-fledged, plant-based monsters.

“’Let’s do it’ I said. ‘This will be easy’ I said. How does a Venus Flytrap even grow this large?” Lucy grumbled as she jumped over another stream of murderous plant roots. Finally finding solid ground, she pointed Taurus towards the twisted nether of roots and stems that kept the frightening flora grounded. Meanwhile, Natsu busied himself with torching the other five or so reanimated plants that littered the forests edge.

“Fire Dragon: Roar!” He let out a manic laugh as his flames transformed an entire line of trees into glittering torches, burning friend and foe indiscriminately.  

“Natsu, watch where you’re aiming,” Lucy scolded, letting loose a disgruntled shout as she once again narrowly missed a blow to the side via killer plants. The self-proclaimed farmer, apparently, was a wizard himself who specialized in foreign herbs with magical properties. Their current foes were the result of his latest creations gone very wrong.

“We already owe a great deal in repair costs as it is. The master will kill us if we burn down another building,” she reminded him, hand on her hip.

“Yeah, Yeah.” Natsu shrugged as he incinerated yet another row of trees and crops.  “Stop with your naggin’ already. We’ll be fi– Hey Lucy, watch out!” The dragon slayer let out a roar as Lucy whipped around. A faint gasp swept past her lips as a verdant blur crossed her vision. Pain ricocheted down her left side as a stray vine from the Flytrap knocked her to the ground, tangling with her legs and whipping her towards the Venus’ awaiting jaws.

“Argh,” Natsu screamed, face contorted in anger. “Fire Dragon: Wing Attack!” The vines that dug at her skin, slowly encroaching upon her torso, were suddenly engulfed in flame and burnt to a crisp. She yelped as Natsu’s flames left her stranded in the open air. With nothing left to catch her fall, she plummeted back down to the rigid ground, her head smacking against the dirt with a harsh crack. A muffled yowl came from beneath her and she rolled over to find a disgruntled Happy scowling back at her.

“You alright, Luce?” Natsu questioned, finishing off the last of the nasty creatures.

“I’m the one in pain,” Happy cried, indignantly. “Lucy squashed me with her fat butt!”

“WATCH IT, CAT!” she screeched at the little blue exceed, the pain from her fall quickly washed into the foreground.

Natsu cackled, causing the celestial spirit mage to turn her glare on him. Noticing the change in atmosphere, he yelped as a certain red-haired wizard came to mind.

“Scary,” he whined. Lucy’s scowl deepened before gifting him with another one of her signature Lucy Kicks.

“Humph,” she muttered, smiling in satisfaction. “Serves you right.”

_____

Later, at the Fairy Tail guildhall, the pair found themselves curled around the bar. Mira wiped down the counters, glancing at the two while she worked. Lucy sat on Natsu’s left with reequip mage Erza Scarlet on his right. Gajeel, Levy, and Pantherlily were located at a table behind him, while Gray was doing his best to avoid an overly exuberant Juvia. Happy had disappeared soon after their arrival back at the guild, dreams of fish and a particular white feline dancing in his head. An overall jubilant air had settled on the guild as members had returned from their missions to settle in for the day.

Lucy leaned against the bar, head spinning, with a strawberry concoction clutched between her palms. A dull ache had settled into her bones since their mission earlier, winding around her mind like a snake. A slight burning sensation danced along her side as a pair of onyx eyes watched her with intensity.

“I’m fine,” she said with a huff, not bothering to turn towards the dragon slayer gazing at her worriedly.

“Lucy, I–”

“Really, Natsu, I’m alright.”

Natsu grumbled, unconvinced, as he finished off the plate of food Mira had set before him. He knew Lucy was lying, but he also knew that she could be just as pigheaded as him. She had been acting strange ever since their return from their earlier expedition. Despite her claims otherwise, he could tell something was up.

Lucy stood up abruptly, letting out a heavy sigh, before turning towards Natsu once more. Ignoring the stars that threatened to consume her vision, she forced a wide smile onto her lips. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll be okay. I think I’m just gonna head home and get some rest. The fight today really took it out of me. Thanks for the drink, Mira.”

She gave one more wave to the white-haired woman before making her way towards the entrance. Before he could make any move to stop Lucy’s departure, Erza placed an armor clad hand on his shoulder. “She’ll be fine, Natsu,” the red-haired warrior assured him. “She can take care of herself.”

He simply nodded, giving Lucy another intense stare before promptly getting knocked off of his barstool by a half-naked Gray. Mira giggled as Natsu let out an enraged scream. Apparently, Juvia had finally caught up to her beloved Gray.  

“What the heck was that for, you pervert?”  Natsu yelled as he quickly shifted into battle-mode, fists blazing with fire.

“Who you callin’ pervert, flame for brains?” Gray challenged.

Soon after, a fight broke out between the two, eventually expanding into a guild-wide brawl after another slice of Erza’s strawberry cake was destroyed. Lucy, who had been watching from the towering guild doors, shook her head. She let out a yelp as a chair smashed against the wall to her left, before finally disappearing out the door and into the streets of Magnolia.  

 Despite a slight limp in her step and pain in her side, the walk home wasn’t as bad as she’d first expected it to be. It wasn’t long before she was weaving her way past the ferrymen and stumbling into her apartment with a heavy sigh.

“Home at last,” she hummed to herself. She stretched out her limbs, cringing as her ankle buckled a bit in pain, before making her way toward the bathroom. “Maybe a shower will help wash off the pain from today,” she mused, ridding herself of her blood-stained clothes. With steam flooding the little room and the water temperature set on high, she stepped carefully into the scalding water. A shaky breath escaped her lips, but her mind continued to spin at a rapid fire pace. Groaning in frustration, she tried for another calming breath. Despite her chance to finally relax a bit, she couldn’t manage to quiet her mind. It had already been a long day, now made even longer by the pain that constricted her mind and body. A glance towards her numerous bruises sent a frustrated sigh past her lips, before her features contorted in confusion. A second glance down at her body caused her gaze to quickly slip from confusion to fear. Thin green lines painted swirls and complex designs across her torso, leaving angry red marks in their wake. The vines, she thought. They don’t just feed off human flesh… “They steal magic power!” She shouted, mentally kicking herself for forgetting the farmer’s warnings. He’d told them that this was a possibility.

Her hands shook as she slowly grew more and more hysterical, tearing frantically at the small vines cutting at her body. Just as she made some headway clearing the thin vines, however, the dizziness from before threatened to overtake her. She reached for her keys, only to find them rendered useless. My magic power is too far gone, she cursed. “Loke, Virgo, someone please!” She cried out desperately. They can’t hear me, she sobbed. A single step towards the bathroom door sent her vision shaking. By two steps, the light in the room began to dance. By the third, Lucy could feel herself losing her will to stand. By the forth, she found herself hitting the ground as the ceiling grew further and further away. “Natsu…” She whispered as vines tangle around her mouth. Her vision slipped away as she soon felt herself get swallowed whole by a cocoon of roots and vines, before she finally lost consciousness altogether.

______

Back at the guild hall, things had finally settled down. Luckily, the aftermath of the brawl had been minimal. A few burnt spots, some broken tables and chairs, and a few missing pillars. The building, by some miracle, still stood proudly in the heart of town.

“Where’s Lucy?” Natsu asked, having finally cooled down from his fight with Gray.

“Oh. Lucy? She went home a little bit ago.” Mira said, smiling sweetly from behind the bar.

“You even watched her go, you idiot.” Gray said with a laugh. Natsu shot the Ice mage a scowl.

“He loooooves her.” Happy drawled from his place next to Charle on the bar top.

Natsu reddened in embarrassment, brushing salmon strands out of his face. The dragon slayer stiffened as a ball of anxiety settled into his stomach. His nose twitched as he took in the stale undertones in the air, confirming some unknown fears. He could be wrong, but he knew Lucy. He knew her scent and how it changed depending on her mood. Right now, the thick smell of fear curdled his blood. Something was wrong.  

With one last vengeful fireball to Gray’s face, he ran off towards Lucy’s apartment with the blue exceed following close behind. Fellow mages and townsfolk cried out in protest as he pushed by them, but Natsu didn’t notice. Blood pumped in his ears, matching his racing footsteps as he hurtled himself down the stone streets. As Lucy’s apartment came into view he pushed his legs faster, using his fire to boost himself through her window in a single bound.

Once safely inside, the first thing he noticed was the silence. Despite the distinct sound of a shower in the background, the stillness hung like a thick fog in the air, suffocating him.  Steam seeped from beneath the bathroom door as he flung it open to reveal a horrific jungle. Vines grew up and off the walls, roots digging out of cracks in the floor.  Leafy plants twisted in midair like worms burrowing through the dirt, dragging curious fingers along his face and down his legs. “Lucy!” Natsu shouted, digging through twists and snarls in the vines. “Lucy!” No answer. Frantic, he set his body ablaze, burning down every vine he could get his hands on. The twisted nether of green squealed and screeched, cutting at his arms and face as every vine soon turned to ash. Finally, there was nothing left but a pale sleeping beauty curled up on the scorched and broken tile.

“Lucy…” his voice was barely a whisper as he pulled the blonde into his arms, swaddling her in a nearby towel. Ashen vines were like cobwebs arching across her ghostly pale skin, her fingers tinged blue as if frost bitten. Even her hair seemed somehow drained of life, as the last of her magical energy seemed to fall dangerously low.

“Nat-su,” a shuddering gasp swept past her grey, cracked lips. “Help m-me… S-so c-cold…” Her words came out in little puffs as her eyes fluttered open, straining to gaze up at his face.

“Lucy. Lucy, look at me. I – I’m here. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He hugged her into his chest, his tears melting into sobs as the smell of strawberries and vanilla wrapped around him. Desperately, he looked around the small apartment before his eyes settled on his blue companion, standing wide-eyed at the door.

“Get Wendy!” He cried out to the little exceed.

“Natsu?” His little eyes rounded with horror.

“NOW, HAPPY!”

“A-Aye, sir!” Happy jumped up and gave him a determined nod before soaring back out the open window from whence they’d come.

A shaky hand grasped onto his scarf, pulling his gaze back down to Lucy’s shaking form.  She curled like a sunflower into his warmth before letting out a shuttering gasp.

“Don’t leave me,” she wheezed. Every note grated against his ears, her normally melodic voice cracked and broken. Regret settled like a stone in his stomach as he cradled her closer to his chest.    “Never,” he whispered.

A soft kiss warmed her clammy skin, flowering across her cheek, as exhaustion finally pulled her into a deep, restless sleep.

______

Warm hands wrapped around her as the smell of wood smoke and cinnamon swirled through the air. She knew that scent. It meant safety, warmth. It meant home.

A slow smile stretched across her lips as her eyes fluttered open to see a chiseled chest and strong arms holding her close. A quick blink shot her eyes upward, only for them to be met with slightly parted lips. As her eyes roamed over the curved planes of his jaw, the slightly parted lips morphed gradually until she was met with a wide, toothy grin. One more shift left her breathless, as she tumbled deep into the depths of his obsidian gaze.

“Natsu –” she stammered.

“Welcome back.” He pulled her closer, resting his forehead onto hers before finally releasing a heavy sigh of relief.

All the pain that had previously ensnared her was gone without a trace. The telltale signs of the guildhall infirmary told her that she had Wendy’s sky magic to thank for that. The warmth that flooded her senses, however, was thanks to her one and only favorite dragon slayer. Although, she doubted it was his naturally higher body temperature that caused warmth to flood her cheeks. Curious eyes peered up at him as his eyes danced behind hooded eyelids. Her very presence seemed to melt him, soften his normally sharp edges.

“Natsu?” She questioned as his face lowered towards hers, their noses brushing together.

“Hmm?” he hummed a response, not quite focusing on her words.

“I –” she began, her words causing their lips to brush. Fire raced through her veins at the sudden touch. A gasp escaped her as their lips finally connected, the sound muffled by the gentle caress of his lips on hers. She felt the fire that raced through him swirling just beneath the skin, held back by an unseen floodgate. He nipped playfully at her bottom lip as their lips danced together in perfect harmony. Abandoning its previous position around her legs, his right hand slid up her side to cup her face while his left hand snaked around her waist, tugging her closer still to his chest. Trails of fire blazed across her skin wherever his fingers danced, sending a shiver of delight down her spine. Her delicate fingers dug into his silky salmon locks as all of their raw emotions were poured out, left open and vulnerable for the other to see. Their kiss grew desperate as the spicy taste of cinnamon filled her senses, causing her toes to curl and her fingers to tug harder at his cotton candy locks. With one last shuddering breath Natsu pulled away, studying her rosy cheeks and her chocolaty brown eyes alight with joy and complete contentment. A deep, throaty chuckle escaped his lips, vibrating against her chest, as he took in her dopey smile. Swollen red lips downturned into a pout, enticing him into another sweet kiss upon her lips, before her dopey grin returned with renewed vigor and her laughter intertwined with his. Lucy gazed sleepily up at Natsu as he mindlessly spun her golden locks through his fingers, a gentle lullaby to her tired mind.

“I –” she began slowly.

“She loooooves him!” came a teasing voice, followed by fits of laughter and giggles. Lucy’s eyes widened, taking in the audience staring at them from the doorway. Spotting the culprit for the interruption, her eyes narrowed on a certain blue exceed hidden in the crowd.

“SHUT IT, CAT!” She screeched as Natsu’s chuckles rolled into cackles, his body shaking as his face twisted with laughter. Lucy burrowed into his scaly white scarf, groans mixing with laughter as she took in a beautiful, terrifying truth. Happy was right about her and Natsu. She really did looooove him, and the adoration he showered down upon her told the mage that he really did looooove her, too.

[onebizarrekai]

Meme Waker: That Final Thing

okay aight here we go here’s the big idea compilation you’ve all been waiting for or something like that

since I’ve finally accepted meme waker’s inevitable fate, I’ll share what I’ve had laying around about it. prepare yourself for a wild ride.

first of all, what existed of the planned character key:

Nightmare = Link Dream = Aryll Cross = Tetra Ink = The Entire Pirate Crew Granny Gertrude = Grandma Horror = Quill Killer = Medli Color = Komali Dust = Makar XGaster = Tingle (yes, you read that right) Fresh = Fado (?) Geno = Laruto Blueberry = Niko Error = Ganondorf Giant Flying Chicken = Helmaroc King Core Frisk = The King XChara = Zelda

So XChara was going to fill the role of Zelda���basically, what was going to happen was that when Cross and Nightmare reached sunken Hyrule, which was replaced by the Omega Timeline, they encountered Core Frisk and with their magical Core Frisk powers that apparently exist, separated XChara from Cross’s body. Because Error was hunting him down for whatever villainous reasons (I dunno, maybe he wanted to find Overwrite or something), XChara was going to spend the near remainder of the comic hiding in the Omega Timeline from Error. It was a pretty neat reference to the fact that Error doesn’t know where the OT is.

Unsurprisingly, considering when I was working on this, Nightmare and Cross may have eventually started dating. They were going to kiss during a fight that involved them accidentally rolling down a hill and then likely spend the remainder of the comic referring to each other as boyfriends, with no further indication of romance between them. I never really mentally decided whether I was actually going to incorporate this or not.

In moments where someone needed to present a musical instrument, Cross was going to play a keytar.

There is a very high chance that the entire comic was going to end up being an elaborate prank set up by Ink and Error.

After being rescued from the Forsaken Fortress, Dream was going to get crossbows and… I dunno, maybe be useful with them sometimes. One consideration was that he was going to complain about being stuck in a glorified retirement home and request joining the party.

Nightmare was going to have a fake ID with the name “Nathaniel Meyer” on it.

When Nightmare eventually pulled up the Gaster Sword, he was basically going to do a magical girl transformation and get a new outfit. I was considering holding a contest where people would submit new designs for Nightmare before I realized that I may have wanted to do it myself. Meanwhile, Cross’s design change at the same time was going to pertain to the fact that he had such a hard time with his uniform that he just wanted to start wearing normal clothes.

When XChara was separated from Cross, it would indicate that Cross can’t use the hack knife anymore, so I had to think of a new weapon for him. I considered giving him arm mounts with knives in them for no reason other than being extra, but I was probably just going to end up going with a regular sword.

Nightmare and Cross were going to be mistaken for missionaries at some point due to Nightmare introducing Cross as his ‘companion’.

Nightmare’s fake ID is actually a driver’s license. Cross questions how he could get one when he’s only fifteen, and Nightmare responds with “what can I say? I live in the country.”

The Giant Flying Chicken was going to evolve into the Cyborg Giant Flying Chicken before Nightmare and Cross fought it. It was already a robot, but someone decided it would be fun to make it look more robotic for some reason. Maybe too many people tried to eat it.

Because Blueberry was going to replace Niko, that meant there was going to be a form of challenge that he would present to Nightmare and/or Cross. They were probably just going to play Dance Dance Revolution.

The dress that Granny Gertrude gave Nightmare was actually going to be infused with magical powers. Either Nightmare could only access the power of the Triforce when he’s wearing the dress, or it was going to be a piece of equipment that turned his sword into a fire sword.

Nightmare was going to come back to the Village of Old People to see that his grandmother had conquered it with capitalism.

Dragon Roost Cavern was going to be replaced with a Pokemon gym.

When Nightmare supposedly kicked Error’s ass at the end of the story, he was going to say something along the lines of “Because fuck you!” and it would be the first and only f-bomb in the whole comic. Nightmare would proceed to say that it was the first time he’d ever said fuck and that he felt dirty.

The Triforce of Courage was just going to be called the Triforce of Porridge for exactly zero reason.

Some incarnation of Buffmare was going to exist in the comic, but only in a sequence taking place in Nightmare’s imagination.

When Cross realized his backpack was missing, it was because I realized his backpack was missing. I forgot to draw it. I decided that the backpack actually fused with him to create a Zelda-style magic pocket.

Nightmare was going to try to control a seagull with the command melody, but he was accidentally going to start controlling Cross instead and make him run into a tree.

The Tree Spirit was going to hold official interviews for placeholder guardians in Dream and Nightmare’s absence. These placeholder guardians were going to be Neil, the overenthusiastic French furry, and Ccino, the local emo kid who is absolutely done with everyone’s bullshit, and exclusively because they were the only ones who applied for the job. Neil was going to have an ulterior motive of becoming Gaston’s successor.

Neil and Ccino were eventually going to ‘get together’, if you can even call it that, and for no other reason than shitpost reasons.

Nightmare may have had a showdown with the Giant Flying Chicken while riding the Great Charizard from Dragon Roost.

Another possible concept for whole story was that it was a bad self insert fic written by a younger version of Nightmare, but it’s really unlikely that I would’ve gone through with that.

Nightmare and Cross may have needed to go on a fetch quest to find Ink’s brush in the ocean because they accidentally lost it, but honestly that would’ve served nothing for the progression of the story. Because XGaster put a tracker on Ink’s brush, they were going to have to enlist his help.

and that about wraps up my notes, now let me throw what I had sitting around of a script draft–reading this was a trip because I forgot that literally 60% of it existed:

(inside the mountain)

Cross: holy shoe, EVERYONE has wings? how is this a thing??

Cross: I’m frickin jealous

Chief: Oh. You must be. Those guys.

Horror: yeah man, I enlisted their help to capture the Chicken Terror, but then they were all like yo, it’s a robot!


Chief: horror robot or not I told you that we weren’t going to capture the chicken terror for food because we’re not cannibals we don’t eat birds

Horror: but

Horror: we’re hardly even birds!

Chief: you know your job Horror. now get back to work. your actual work.

Horror: But… being the mailman sucks!


Chief: Do I need to confiscate your axe again?


Horror: OKAY FINE. I’M GOING. (flies away in a huff)

Chief: AND DO YOUR GODFORSAKEN LAUNDRY!

Chief: I apologize for that… so, how can I help you two today?


Nightmare: You guys have like, some pearl thing or something? We need to like, collect three of them in order to… save the multiverse… or something like that.

(Camera dramatically darkens.)

Chief: It’s just as the prophecy foretold…

Nightmare: oh god what

Chief: You see, young whippersnappers… legend tells of a great hero that would rise up and save a bunch of people in times of desperation that they don’t even realize are desperate. the great hero would travel far and wide in search of the Pearls of Shiny to finally retrieve a great weapon that he would use to strike down the evil that few knew existed. also the hero would have a sidekick wearing stupid clothes.

Cross: EXCUSE ME

Chief: THAT’S JUST WHAT THE PROPHECY SAID

Nightmare: okay, y’know, I’m just gonna roll with it. where can I get the pearl?

Chief: Well… that’s where the hard part comes in. You see, the pearl belongs to my son… but he’s been acting like an edgy teenager lately.

Nightmare: Great…

Cross: Is there a reason he’s being edgy? Maybe there’s something we can do to appease his hormones.

Cross: Free food works like a charm for me.

Chief: No, it’s more complicated than that. When one of our people becomes of age, they climb to the top of Charizard Island to receive a scale from the Great Charizard that will allow them to grow wings.

Nightmare: the… great charizard.

Chief: But lately, the Great Charizard has been throwing inexplicable temper tantrums. No one can get close to him anymore. And with my son being of age, he’s decently pissed off about this.

Chief: We’re thinking that the Great Charizard is displeased about something, and it is also causing our shortage of food.

Nightmare: Wait, you worship something named after a Pokemon?


Chief: Anyway, perhaps you two will be able to talk some sense into my son. Maybe he just wants to talk to someone his age that isn’t Horror or Killer.

Nightmare: What kind of names are those?


Chief: There’s a letter that I wanted my son to read, and I’ve given it to Killer to hold onto. You can go get it from him upstairs in the first room near the stairs, just tell him I sent you. He’s the little guy in the short shorts, you’ll probably recognize him when you see him.

Nightmare: Can’t you just call him here?


Chief: No, it is of upmost importance that you experience a basic fetch quest in order to become a great hero, because those fetch quests will become needlessly complicated before you even realize it.

Nightmare: ?????

Nightmare: I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not–

Cross: dude let’s just go get the letter

(scene transition)

(Killer dramatically turns around and it zooms in and says his name SSB style)

Nightmare: Wait, why do you get a dramatic introduction?


Killer: Dayum. New faces.

Nightmare: Why is everyone ignoring my questions??

Killer: (needlessly sensual voice) So, what brings you here? (walking closer)


Nightmare: (backs into wall) NO BUENO

Cross: You have a letter or something?


Killer: Oh. Yeah. Chief gave it to me for some reason. Yo, catch.

(He chucks it like a ninja star. Cross catches it between his hands in front of his face.)


Killer: Ey! You actually caught it!


Cross: I’m a trained ninja.

Killer: So like, who are you guys?

Cross: I’m Cross. He’s Larry.

Nightmare: NIGHTMARE. MY NAME IS NIGHTMARE.

Killer: Aw man, I know the feel of having a really lame name and wanting one that’s cooler.

Nightmare: No. Like. My name is actually Nightmare. My senile grandma called me Larry earlier today and this loser picked up on it.

Killer: There’s no need to lie. I understand.

Nightmare: I’M NOT LYING!

Killer: anyway make sure you get that letter to Color there’s something I have to do–

(Killer zips out the door behind them.)


Cross: what even the frick?


Nightmare: that guy freaks me the frick out.

Nightmare: literally. I felt like he was coming onto me.

Cross: you’re imagining things.

(SCENE TRANSITION)
 Cross: all right Nightmare I literally do not trust your ability to communicate with another person in a way that will make them feel inclined to give us something so just let me handle this okay

Cross: okay better yet wait outside the room

(Nightmare makes a less than amused face.)


Cross: it’s for the greater good

(Cross walks into the room.)

Cross: hi my name is Cross and

Color: LEAVE

(Cross immediately exits the room.)

Cross: this is a lost causeNightmare: what

Cross: go make him bleed with your words

Nightmare: dude isn’t this the part where we give him the frickin letter

Cross: (pauses) :o

Cross: OH RIGHT

(Cross takes the letter and goes back into the room, leaving the door open)

Cross: oh yeah this letter is for you it’s from your dad or something

Color: Oh, wow. Can’t even be bothered to talk to me in person.

Color: Give me that thing.

(Color stares at the letter. It’s actually a letter from Killer filled with really bad pickup lines and other really creepy compliments.)

Color: What the hell, you said this was from my dad!

Cross: We thought it was–??

(Killer teleports in behind them, scaring the shit out of Nightmare)


Killer: Suuuup~

Color: Killer I swear to god.

Killer: Here’s the actual letter, though you might not be happy with it.

(He flings it at Color and it lands in front of him. He reads it over, rolls his eyes and throws it in the trash.)

Cross: So uh… I don’t know what the letter says but apparently we’re prophesied heroes collecting a bunch of pearls to save the multiverse and the pearl you have is–


Color: Can everyone just get out of my room already?

(everyone just leaves)

Nightmare: What even was the point of that stupid fetch quest?

Killer: Oh yeah, can you guys help me with something? Just a smalllll favor. And I can’t ask anyone else because I’m not supposed to do it.

Killer: I need some strong, reliable people…

Nightmare: Don’t touch me.

Killer: It’s just a small favor! And I mean actually small, it’ll take like two minutes.

Nightmare: I have doubts about this.

Killer: Great! Meet me out back by the spring.

Nightmare: Wait which side is the back–

(Killer is gone)

Nightmare: Cross which side is the back.

Cross: I don’t know??

(after spending twenty minutes going through the various exits trying to figure out how to get there)

Killer: What the hell took you so long.

Nightmare: Directions would’ve been helpful. There wasn’t even a freaking map anywhere in there!

Killer: The hollow is like the size of a middle class house! How difficult could it be to find out where to go?!

Nightmare: IT’S A DOME THERE IS NO BACK

Cross: OKAY, what matters is that we’re here, what the heck do we do now.

Killer: Okay, okay. (steps backwards) Look, if you look around here, it’s all a dried up spring. The Great Charizard was throwing a tantrum, a boulder fell down and it coincidentally plugged up the spring for the third time this week, which is literally our main source of fresh water. I’m honestly getting sick of this so I’m going to climb the mountain and see what’s going on because everyone else is too scared to do it.

Nightmare: God. You’re not gonna make us go with you, are you?


Killer: Oh, no way. I just need you to throw me up that cliff over there so I can get into the cavern that leads up the mountain.

Nightmare: Can’t you fly?

Killer: Not thirty feet straight up. Do these noodle arms look like they can manage that?


Nightmare: Whatever. But quick question. How the hell does one throw a person.

Killer: I weigh like fifty pounds. It shouldn’t be that hard. Also, if you’ve noticed, the wind is rapidly changing directions, so you’ll probably have the best effect throwing me when the wind is blowing that way.

Nightmare: Mhmm. Sure. Let’s just get this over with.

(Nightmare crouches down and Killer fuckin walks onto his shoulders)

Nightmare: Hey! Watch it!

(some way or another he throws Killer and Killer barely makes it to the cliff, face planting into the ground)

Nightmare: Well I guess that worked.

Killer: THAT WAS TERRIBLE!

Nightmare: YOU’RE WELCOME! COULD’VE JUST USED A DAMN LADDER!

Killer: NOBODY OWNS A LADDER HERE BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN FLY!

Nightmare: Then how the frick do people get up this cliff?!

Killer: THERE’S NORMALLY A BRIDGE BUT IT BROKE AND PROBLEMS LIKE THESE ARE PRECISELY WHY I’M CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN TO BEGIN WITH! ALSO I’M LEAVING BYE. (turns and leaves)

(cricket cricket)

Cross: Nightmare we should probably follow him.

Nightmare: No.

Cross: What else do we have to do. We solve their problem, Color can get his wings and then he stops being emo and gives us the pearl out of the goodness of his heart.

Nightmare: I’m not risking my life for this! If that guy is willing to do it himself I’m going to let him do it!

Cross: Dude, look at that guy. He looks about at capable fixing whatever the problem is as Ink is at providing emotional support. If this happens to be anything like a video game, we’re the only ones capable of solving anything. Besides, what else are we supposed to do? Hang around and wait for something to happen?

Nightmare: All right, fine. But how are we supposed to do something? It’s not like we can climb up a thirty foot cliff.

Cross: No, but we can swim, right?Nightmare: What?

(Cross draws a line around the rock covering the spring. It dematerializes into red squares and water starts to spew out of the spring. They both run back towards the side and climb up the cliff they came from)

Nightmare: Dude, what the hell was that?

Cross: I can draw lines around things with my sword and they do that and go away.

Nightmare: … do they go somewhere?


Cross: I dunno.

(Meanwhile in Xtale, a boulder slams into the floor and almost crushes Fresh because of course he’s there)

(The spring fills up)


Nightmare: You know I’m starting to have second thoughts about this swimming thing seeing as how I’ve never actually–(Cross kicks him into the water)


(LATER)


Nightmare: YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOST DROWNED

Cross: You’re exaggerating.

Random Dude: STOP RIGHT THERE!


Nightmare: who.

Random Dude: YOU AREN’T GOIN ONE STEP PAST THIS POINT! YOU’RE LIGHT YEARS FROM FACING BROCK!

(nightmare squints)

(comic suddenly goes into a battle sequence)

Nightmare: whoa whoa what the hell is happening

Cross: oh my god it’s pokemon NIGHTMARE IT’S POKEMON

Nightmare: I DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON CROSS THREATEN HIM

(Random Dude sent out MEWTWO)

Cross: DEAR GOD

Cross: LISTEN THERE’S A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING WE’RE NOT TRAINERS WE DON’T HAVE POKEMON

Random Dude: tHEN WHY ARE YOU IN A POKEMON GYM HUH

Cross: Uh… touring?

Random Dude: OH

Random Dude: I SEE

(The Random Dude returns his Mewtwo.)

Random Dude: THERE HAS BEEN AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING

Cross: Say uh, you didn’t happen to see a scrawny dude with wings pass through here, did you?

Random Dude: Oh yeah, he went into the next room and took the elevator to the top.

(silence)


Nightmare: Why are there always elevators.

(two seconds later, they reach the elevator and there’s a dude standing in front of it)


Nightmare: um excuse me we need to use the elevator

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: excuse me I said move

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: HELLO

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: MOVE ASSHOLE

Cross: I think it’s a preprogrammed NPC.

Nightmare: UAGGGGHHHHH

(Nightmare throws himself into the person, but he slams into the STEEL WALL OF NPC)

Nightmare: CROSS TELEPORT HIM AWAY

Cross: wait are you serious what if that freakin kills him I don’t know where these things go

Nightmare: YOU SAID IT YOURSELF HE’S AN NPC

(Cross shrugs. He draws a line around the NPC and the NPC disappears)

(one elevator ride later)

Nightmare: (chokes) oh god

Nightmare: the altitude

Cross: nightmare this island is still lower than ink’s house.

Nightmare: PSYCHOLOGICAL ALTITUDE

(fwip)

Cross: Oh look, it’s that guy from earlier.

Nightmare: Got captured somehow. Why am I not surprised?

Killer: YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU GUYS

(A really buff guy abruptly slams into the ground)

Buff Guy: FEAR MY WRATH, FOR I AM BROCK! LEADER OF ALL THINGS ROCK HARD

Nightmare: Look man, we really don’t have time for this, just let the shota hoe go, we’re just checking up on the huge-ass Charizard up there.

Killer: excuse me

Brock: I AM THE LOYAL GUARDIAN OF THE GREAT CHARIZARD! You can only pass if you defeat me!


Cross: what the hell is even happening anymore

(Loud gym battle music as the gate at the entrance of the clearing slams shut)

Nightmare: LOOK WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS WE DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON

(Brock war cries as he sends out a very anime geodude)

Nightmare: can someone please tell me I’m hallucinating all of this

Brock: WELL, IF YOU DON’T HAVE POKEMON, YOU’LL HAVE TO USE A RENTAL

Cross: What? But rental pokemon always suck.

Brock: YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTH SOMEHOW! AND BECAUSE YOU’RE SMALL CHILDREN YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN’T PROVE IT THROUGH SUMO WRESTLING.

Nightmare: I’m fifteen!

Cross: Nightmare I think you’re missing the point.

Killer: Good god, just let them through and let me out of here, they’re the heroes of prophecy.

Brock: PROPHECY

Brock: GOODNESS ME I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT

(Brock returns his geodude)

Brock: YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING

Nightmare: That would have worked?

Brock: BUT! IF YOU WANT TO FREE THIS TINY FELLOW HERE, YOU MUST COMPLETE A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE! FOR YOU SEE, HE TRIED TO PASS THROUGH HERE WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION!


(Killer rolls his eyes. Nightmare squints, literally pulling a notebook out of his shirt. He writes something in it, walking up to Brock and holding it up. It says “Let the guy out of jail you dick”)

Brock: AHA

Brock: WELL

Brock: I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT

(He stomps his foot on the ground and the bars in front of Killer go up)

Brock: DON’T BE CAUSING TROUBLE NOW KIDS


(He ascends back into the sky)


Cross: I’m not even going to ask. That entire conversation felt like a drug trip.

(Killer dramatically throws himself onto Nightmare)


Killer: I knew you would come around, my knight in–

Nightmare: Why did I assume that you had become any less creepy in the last ten minutes. Why did I even do that?


Killer: Because your heart told you to.

Nightmare: Dear god stop touching me or I will literally pick you up and slam you into the floor.

Killer: Feisty. Anyway, I figured out why the Great Charizard is freaking out all the time. His tail is hanging down into the room below him and something is chewing on it like all the time.

Cross: What? Then why doesn’t it just, I dunno, pull its freaking tail out of the room like a reasonable creature? Or maybe take care of the problem on its own?

Killer: The Great Charizard is like a five year-old. It’s self aware, but it expects all of its problems to be solved by everyone else and throws tantrums when that doesn’t happen.

Nightmare: Well that’s stupid. Why does everyone act like it’s some holy being then?

Killer: Because it’s a massive, terrifying dragon that can breathe fire?

ok unfortunately this is where the script ends but I hope you enjoyed that

oh yeah, and some extremely old art that I found:

as well as a brief consideration to make the characters human before deciding that I just didn’t want to work on the comic anymore.

basically you will notice that most of this doesn’t have a solid outline, and you’d be right: I never actually planned it that meticulously. I mostly just winged it and threw stuff in over the course of time and never even really planned anything close to a definitive ending beyond “maybe it was a prank”. sorry if this is like… anticlimactic, but it’s all I could find!

[shirtlesssammy]

9x01: I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here

Errm, we forgot a season opener episode...so here’s 9x01 for your enjoyment :)

Then:

Heaven’s doors closed, kinda

Now:

Sam and Dean are on the road discussing the fallen angels, and how they’re going to tackle this new situation. Well, Sam is. Dean keeps driving until he tells Sam they have a far more pressing matter than that, or Metatron, or Cas. “You’re dying, Sam.” 

Indeed he is. They’re not in the Impala. They’re in a hospital and Sam’s attached to a bunch of wires and machines. 

The doctor gives Dean the bad news that Sam has severe internal injuries and his recovery is “in God’s hands.” Lol, it REALLY is. And ol’ Chuck isn’t going to let one of his favorite characters die! He does like to see them tortured though. Dean loses his shit, because, at this stage in the game, God isn’t playing. 

He goes to the chapel AND PRAYS TO CAS. 

He tells Cas that whatever happened, they’ll work it out. “Please man, I need you here.” Dean looks up and is shocked that Cas isn’t there. AND I’M EMOTIONAL. He has so far to go. But also, I feel so bad for him right now. Anyway, he gives it about 5 seconds before he puts out an open call to any angel willing to help.   

Business angel, Tractor angel, and Helo all take the call. 

Memory Lane Alert:

Sam continues to have a mental conversation with Dean in the Impala. Dean has a plan, and Sam just needs to hang on. Sam thinks he’s lying (and LIKE, is this his brain trying to rationalize death? Bobby shows up to argue yes.)

In Longmont, Colorado, on a lonely stretch of road, we find Cas. He’s walking and is overwhelmed with angel radio whitenoise. 

For Cas Looks So Fucking Good In This Episode Science:

Also, a crazy driver that nearly kills him. The guy offers to give him a lift to a phone. Cas agrees, adding, “I would fly but I have no wings, not anymore.” 

I need a  moment.

Sam continues to deteriorate. I enjoy the snark in Sam’s mind that he saved Bobby from Hell. Anyway, Bobby and Dean continue to argue about whether Sam should or shouldn’t live. Bobby pulls Sam from the car and they land in a forest. 

Cas’s ride drops him off at a filling station and gives him some money. Cas accepts it reluctantly, insisting he does eat. Meanwhile, a woman watches Cas from a car.

Cas reaches the pay phone, currently in use.

He doesn’t want to hurt the guy, but this is an emergency. The guy is very polite when he tells Cas to try and hurt him. Cas tries the old fingers to the forehead trick. Nothing happens. He tries the old whole hand to the forehead trick (isn’t that usually a smiting move? <nervous side-eye emoji>) The guy brushes Cas’s hand away and tells him that he’s going to finish his call, and then stab Cas. Cas walks away in a daze. 

The woman from the car approaches him. She knows Castiel. She’s an angel named Hael. 

A grief counselor comes to talk to Dean, but he’s not done fighting. 

He realizes that he has the King of Hell in his trunk (not yet you don't ...I think I’ve used that joke before, but it never gets old.) Before he can get Crowley out of the Impala’s trunk, Business angel attacks. He’s looking for Castiel. Dean isn’t talking. Helo pops up and gets into fisticuffs with Business angel. He distracts him enough for Dean to stab Business angel in the back. Helo assures Dean that he’s here to help him, and then passes out. 

Hael and Cas talk about the angels falling and life in Heaven. So many angels are afraid of this unknown new order. 

Cas assures her there is nothing to be afraid of, and there is something better on Earth. Oh, you poor Humanity loving fool, Cas. He makes a case for Free Will. 

Dean puts Helo in a ring of fire to interrogate him. His name is Ezekiel. And he is not here to hurt Dean or Cas. He’s here to help. 

Sam and Bobby take a nature walk while Bobby chips away and Sam’s uncertainty of dying. 

Dean brings Ezekiel to Sam. 

Dean’s phone rings while Gadreel examines Sam. It’s CAS! Insert EXTREME HEART EYES HERE. 

Cas briefly explains that Metatron tricked him, but Dean overrides Cas’s discussion of the angel apocalypse for a more pressing matter: Sam’s dying. Cas explains that he can’t heal him without his grace, but that also doesn’t matter! Ezekiel is a “good soldier,” according to Cas, so Sam’s in good hands. Dean warns Cas that angels are after him and he needs to get to the bunker, do not pass GO, do not trust anybody else. 

The hospital shakes as another angel circles a vessel. Dean grabs a dry erase marker and starts scrawling angel warding all over Sam’s hospital room. He leaves Ezekiel there to heal Sam while he races through the hospital trying to clear it out. 

Cas tries to extricate himself from Hael’s company. “This is your chance to help people. Help yourself.” Cas, you altruistic sunflower! Hael rewards this by whacking him across the head with a plank.

When he wakes up, Hael explains that she couldn’t let Cas go. She blames Cas for the fall but she can use Cas…

Dean confronts angels in the hospital, including the now-possessed grief counselor. 

In Sam’s head, he arrives outside a cabin. Bobby tells him that the cabin will end his life and wishes him well when suddenly he is STABBED! Sam’s projection of Dean killed him. “Bobby was the part of you that wants to die,” Dean explains...uh...reasonably? He starts to punch Sam in rage, trying to get him to fight for his life. “I can’t help you if you ain’t willing to fight for yourself!” Sam...knows that. And...he’s not willing to fight anymore. 

Sam heads for the cabin.

Real Dean is in his own pickle. Grief counselor angel hauls him around, demanding to know where Cas is or Sam’s gonna die bloody. Dean refuses to give up Cas. He’s bloody and exhausted, but blasts the angels out with a banishing sigil. He heads in to check on Sam. Ezekiel sits slumped in a chair. Between the banishing sigil and the warding, he’s incredibly weak and can’t heal Sam. There are “no good ways” to save Sam so Dean, being Dean, asks about the bad ones. 

Ezekiel thinks he can save Sam by possessing him, but Dean knows that Sam would rather die than be possessed. Ezekiel brings Dean into Sam’s head so he can see how bad it is. 

Dean witnesses Death talking to Sam. Death tells Sam that he played a good game! Sam asks for a boon from Death: he doesn’t want to come back. At. All. He doesn’t want anybody else to get hurt because they tried to save him. SAM BBY!

Dean “There’s Another Way” Winchester is appalled. 

Cas is still trapped with an angel Heaven-bent on possessing him. He looks around at the tools at hand. An angel blade. An angel new to cars and driving. He puts on his seat belt. (Side bar: is this the first time any of our heroes has EVER put on a seat belt???) Cas hauls at the wheel, steering the car towards concrete barriers. 

At the hospital, Dean unpacks the proposal. Ezekiel possesses Sam and they both heal together. When Sam’s better, Ezekiel leaves. 

In a wrecked car, Cas wakes up from his second head injury in an hour or so. He unbuckles his seatbelt and stumbles out. Sprawled ahead of the car is Hael. She’s looking...really bad with her body snapped in some really unfortunate ways. Cas swears to help her - and all the angels. It’ll be his life’s work! “I’m one of you. I will never stop being one of you!” She tells him all the angels despise him. BRB weeping!

He tries to walk away, but she vows to reveal him to the rest of the angels if he leaves her. Cas kills her to save himself. So…...first day as a human? Not going super great. 

Sam prepares to die. Dean stops him from leaving the cabin! (Dean apologizes to Death for not bringing cronuts. I forgot those were a thing!) Sam wants to know why Dean is even there. “You gotta let me in, man. You gotta let me help! There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.” 

Sam says….yes to being saved. Dean transforms into Ezekiel and light fills Sam’s head.

Outside the hospital, Dean and Ezekiel walk and talk. Ezekiel reports that Sam’s in super rough shape. He also suggests that Sam not be told he’s possessing him. If Sam knows he’s possessed, he’ll expel Ezekiel and then die. Dean’s not happy with that plan, but he agrees to hide the truth from Sam. Adding icing to the cupcake of betrayal, Ezekiel promises to erase Sam’s memories of almost dying in the hospital. Oh dear. 

Cas winds up at a laundromat. He’s bloodied and injured, and I guess these are just...normal laundromat experiences? It’s really sad! Unlucky Cas!

But I’m getting ahead of myself because the laundromat experience is also THIS. Lucky us!

Cas loads his clothing into the washer, but he has very little money. He steals clothing and uses his change to buy something to eat and drink instead. 

In the car, Sam wakes up slowly. Dean asks him how he feels. Sam gets the dollar recap of the angels falling and NOTHING ELSE PERTINENT. Sam’s ready to jump back into the fight and Dean feels G R E A T about it.

Shirtless Quotey:

This one goes out to any angel with their ears on. This is Dean Winchester and I need your help

I would fly, but I have no wings

Let's go see the Grand Canyon, then

Anybody ever tell you you hit like an angel?

There ain't no me if there ain't no you

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[yukiwrites]

A Retelling of Their Story

Thanks for the support as always, @breeachuu! This one was so fun to write, I hope you have as much fun reading it, too! ;D This is a Support Chain between Wolfram x Caspar, and you can read more about how they got acquainted in Wolfram’s series, right >here<!

Commission info HERE and HERE!

______________________________

C SUPPORT

Wolfram, crouching: ...

Caspar: Huh? Isn’t that the new kid? What’s he doing all hunched over like that? Heeey, are you alright? You’re shaking- WHOA, that’s a hell lotta cats! How did you manage to round up so many?!

Wolfram: *sobs*

Caspar, crouching: Uh, you alright there, buddy? These cats scratched you?

Wolfram: N-no, it’s just… I don’t have e-enough *sobs* enough hands to pet them all!

Caspar: *chokes* Yeah? There’re like a dozen cats here, of course you can’t pet all of them!

Wolfram: Yes…! They’re all so cute, don’t you agree? Look, that one has a spot right in the middle of its forehead… I want to pet it… And that other one?! His mew is so soft I just want to squeeze him until, until… And that one with the crooked tail? I can’t- it’s so cute-

Caspar: Alright, lemme give you a hand in all this petting, then! FOUR HANDS NOW, BABEY!

Wolfram: !! Oh, don’t yell like that, you’re gonna startle them-

Caspar: Ick, they all turned poofy-tailed on me, did I do somethin’? The dogs all wag their tails when I pet them...

Wolfram: *chuckles* You can’t yell at a cat, they’re really sensitive to loud noises. Here, why don’t you try this one that’s been sitting quietly on my lap? She’s a bit older than the others so she’s better for beginners to handle.

Caspar: Oh, wow, you’re right! She’s so soft and she’s just snuggling in my lap now! You know your stuff ‘round cats, huh? Oh, maybe ‘bout animals in general? You’re always taking care of that wyvern you showed up with.

Wolfram: Heehee, yeah, I love being with animals. My fath-uuhh, I think it makes me feel at home for some reason. Maybe I kept a lot of pets when I was young? It soothes me.

Caspar: Oh yeah, guess that must be it. 

Caspar: That’s it, then! Let’s keep pettin’ these boys ‘til you regain your memory! SOME of it has GOTTA come back after all that petting, yeah?!

Wolfram: *sweats* hahaha… I-I guess? Sure! I won’t say no to petting kittens!

Caspar: Great!

Caspar: But you just said this ol’ lady here isn’t a baby, right-

Wolfram: Look, all cats are kittens, okay? That’s a rule! Like all dogs are puppies!

B SUPPORT

Wolfram: Phew! There, now you’re all clean, Aquilo! Thanks for being so patient, boy!

Wyvern screeches

Wolfram: Hee-hee, no need to thank me! Now up you go, if you wanna go hunt for breakfast- wait, it’s this late already?! No wonder I’m starving! Then go on hunt your lunch, Aquilo! I’ll drop by the dining hall before I start seeing double from hunger!

Scene changes

Wolfram: Hm? What’s… that noise coming from the direction of the dining hall?

???: … -o, GO, GO!!

Wolfram: That sounds like a lot of people yelling… something? I don’t feel any danger, so I wonder what is it?

???: GO, GO!! WOOHOO!

Wolfram: …

Wolfram: … I’m so curious! I’ll go see it before getting something to eat!

Scene changes

Wolfram: Whoa! That’s a lot of people! Wh-what’s going on? They’re all making a circle like they’re watching something in the middle… Oh, wait, I can get on the tip of my toes and… *gasps* Caspar?! And, uh, Leonie? Hilda? Raphael…? What’s all- why is there a giant bucket of water...

Caspar: Vor- blughrt, vor vug’s *sputter* *cough* Dammit! I almost had it!

Hilda: Annnd we have a winner! Leonie retains her title as the champion, even though we didn’t have the crackers we were supposed to since Raphael ate them all!

???: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOO!!!

Raphael: It was a waste of food, alright? But congrats everyone! It was fun!

Caspar: ONE MORE TIME!

Wolfram: W-what’s going on?! I managed to walk past the crowd, but now that I look closer, all of your shirts are wet...

Caspar: Oh, Wolf! Good timing! D’you wanna challenge Leonie with me? She’s the only one who can say ‘for fuck’s sake’ with a mouth full of water -- or crackers -- without spilling! She’s the BOSS!

Wolfram: *sputters* W-what’s this about?

Caspar: A game, man! C’mon, it’s gonna be fun! We were supposed to do this with crackers and it gets so nasty, it’s HILARIOUS! We’ve been doing this every three weeks or so and Leonie keeps defending her title as the champion!

Leonie: I’m actually glad we changed from crackers to water, though. It really DID feel like a waste of food.

Raphael: Yeah!

Wolfram: *chuckles* This sounds super fun, can I play, too? There was nothing like this where I grew up- um, I mean, I think there wasn’t!

Caspar: Great! Either way, it’s gonna be a new memory! C’mon, I’ll teach you-

Wolfram: Learning from the one who just lost? Shouldn’t I ask Leonie to teach me instead?

Caspar: *gasps* You gotta stay by me, man! Let’s defeat her together!!

Scene fades to black

Wolfram: Bor bu- *gulps* Oh, no! I swallowed the water again!

Caspar: NOO! Let’s go back to crackers!

Leonie & Raphael: No way!

Wolfram: Hahah! It’s okay, Caspar, sorry I lost on our rematch, anyway! Though I don’t think I had the best teacher...

Caspar: Hey! My technique is flawless, okay?! Leonie’s the one doing something out of this world! I’m gonna find out what and I’ll win next time!

Leonie: Sure, you’re free to try, Tiny. See ya then.

Leonie and the others leave

Wolfram: Phew, that sure was fun! Somehow I managed to forget how hungry I was, haha! Guess all that water in my stomach tricked me.

Caspar: We’ll win next time for sure, ya hear? C’mon, let’s go eat something and then keep training!

Wolfram: Uh, training how to curse with water in my mouth?! Can’t we just wing it when the time comes?

Caspar: No way! We’re getting better before Leonie has the time to train more!

Wolfram: … I’m sure she just wings it, too, though…?

Caspar: Huh? What’re you doing still standing there? C’mon or we’re not gonna find two seats next to each other!

Wolfram: Haha, alright, I’m coming!

A SUPPORT (POST SKIP)

Caspar: Ouch, they, that stings, Wolfram!

Wolfram: Honestly! Of course it stings, you hotheaded, you-! If I had stronger medicine around, I would be sure to use it instead of this salve just so it would sting more!

Caspar: Owowow, you’re squeezing the bandages! It’s like I’m being beat-up all over again, man, calm down!

Wolfram: I AM calm! But you? What were you thinking, jumping in front of the enemy in the middle of battle like that?! I almost had a heart attack seeing you take those blows that were meant for me.

Caspar: You weren’t on your wyvern, man! I wasn’t gonna let you be mauled to death by those punks. You’re so thin and usually use magic, so I know I’m a better punching bag than you -- and I can punch back, too! Did you see me there? Hah, left, right, UPPERCUT! I beat them even more than they beat me, so it ended up being fine, didn’t it?

Wolfram, pouting: That might be true, but don’t do that again, okay? I can take a punch. And I don’t want people to get hurt because of me...

Caspar: No way! Back at the Academy you were always shaking and blue-in-the-face whenever we went on a mission! That stuck on me, man. I don’t mind breaking a bone or three, so you don’t need to get all panicky like that everytime I get hurt, you know? Did you know that the more a bone breaks, the stronger it gets? So even when I get hurt, I’m just gonna get stronger in the end!

Caspar: So don’t worry and just let me-

Wolfram: NO!

Caspar: !!

Wolfram: I don’t want the people I care about to get hurt! And I AM strong enough to protect myself!

Caspar: I’m not calling you weak -- I’m just sayin’ I’m strong! I’m not as big as Raphael and my muscles don’t pop up the buttons of my shirt, but I ain’t going down that easily. There’s literally no need to be this worried for me.

Wolfram, lowering head: I… There was actually something I’ve always wanted to tell you, even during our student days. I was planning to tell you after today’s battle, but then you did this stupid thing and- and now I’m… *sobs*

Caspar: Whoa whoa whoa there, d-don’t cry, Wolf! I’m fine, see? Look at this! *flexes* uh-ouch, ouch- that might’ve popped a vein...

Wolfram: *chokes* You are an idiot. *sniffles* Let me see that.

Caspar: I keep forgetting you know healing magic. Thanks again!

Wolfram: … No, Caspar. Thank YOU for saving me. I’m still angry at you for jumping in like that, but I’m no less grateful for the gesture.

Caspar: No problem, Wolf. I’d do it again, though, so you better get used to the anger, hah!

Wolfram: *sighs* I wanted to say this in a better mood, but here goes nothing.

Caspar: Huh? That’s… Oh, that’s the locket you’ve kept since back then, right? You said it was probably important to you before you lost your memory.

Wolfram: That’s… About that, Caspar. I’m sorry.

Caspar: Weh? What’re you apologizin’ for?

Wolfram: I… well… I never… *sighs* I never lost my memory in the first place. That was an elaborate story me and my siblings came up with so I would be able to mingle better here, since I knew nothing of this place.

Caspar, surprised: ...

Wolfram: And, uh, this locket? It has my most precious possession -- a dragonstone. It allows me to transform and…

Screen flashes white.

Caspar: *blinks* Wh-what happened- !! You-!

Wolfram: … There might’ve been better ways to say, but I think showing it directly would be easier than explaining. Although this is a VERY roundabout way of saying it, what I’m trying to say -- apart from the truth, of course -- is that I can very well take care of myself and that you don’t need to jump into danger to save-

Caspar: YOU HAVE WINGS?! 

Wolfram: !!

Caspar: YOU HAVE WINGS, MAN! Turn around, lemme see ‘em! Whooooa, why didn’t you tell me this sooner?! We could’ve gone to SO MANY PLACES so fast! Sure, we flew on Aquilo sometimes, but this?! This is amazing!

Wolfram: … Um, uh-

Caspar: I don’t get why you’d keep quiet ‘bout something as cool and badass like that! You’re, like, a dragon?! Half a dragon? What. The. Fuck. 

Caspar: How far can you fly? Can I get on Aquilo while you fly beside us? Oh! Maybe carry me?! What the hell, man, this is amazing.

Wolfram: You’re, um, not mad?

Caspar: Mad? Mad?! Yeah, I’m mad! I’m MAD AMAZED! Now you gotta tell me so much stuff- no, wait, show them to me instead! C’mon, we’re going flying right now-

Wolfram: Now wait just a moment, mister! You’re not leaving this bed!

Caspar: To hell with the bed, Wolf! Throw some more healing magic on me, or don’t! We’re gonna go outside, stat!

Wolfram: C-Caspar, wait- Don’t run! You’re gonna open your wouuuunds!!

S SUPPORT

Caspar: Puaah! Nothing like a good beer at night to scream ‘peace’, ey, Wolf?

Wolfram: *fidgets* Haha, yeah… Peace… We’ve truly won this war, huh? Byleth’s gonna live her life with Dimitri and… My role here...

Caspar: Huh? You’re mumbling there, Wolf. You okay? I thought you’d be happier ‘bout ending the fighting and stuff! You never liked it, right?

Caspar: It was fun, though, wasn’t it? Hahh, I guess I gotta go looking for more fights to get into, huh? Maybe a knight? Hmmm, or mercenary? I don’t gotta go back to my territory, but I guess I should pay Dad a visit before disappearing, huh?

Wolfram: Disappearing...

Caspar: Oh, do you wanna come with? Since you’re not from here, it’s not like you have somewhere to go right away, right?

Wolfram: !! 

Wolfram: A-actually, I was going to ask you something like that, too...

Caspar: Muh? You want me to meet your dad, too?

Wolfram: T-that… well. Something l-like that, yes? And my Mother, too. And my siblings. And my friends.

Caspar: Haha! That’s a lotta people you wanna introduce to me! But sure, I’m game! We go visit my parents first for a bit and then we can go to your world- oh yeah, how are we gonna cross? You said you popped outta a portal like the one Byleth jumped out of after she changed her hair color, right? Are we gonna ask her to open another one? Or can you conjure one?

Wolfram: Um, we’re going to cross one, but it’s gonna come on its own- Wait a second. Wait just a freaking second. You’re really okay with coming with me to my world?! What if the portal never opens again? You’ll never see your family-

Caspar: Eh. About time I left to do my own stuff, yeah? I wasn’t actually planning on seeing them at all -- my Father’s fucking SCARY, Wolf -- but I just guessed I gotta, y’know? I helped win the war and all… They’re from the Empire, alright, but I think they’ll be just fine one way or another, so I’m good!

Caspar: Other than that, I’m more curious about the stuff you said ‘bout your world! Your WHOLE family’s like you, right? Dragons, man. Dragons!

Wolfram: C-Caspar, wait, you’re talking too fast. Calm down. I need a few moments.

Caspar: Yeah? What’s up?

Wolfram: Fwoooo, breathe in, hahhhh, breathe out. Fwwwoooooo… hahhhh… One more time.

Caspar: You okay, man? What’s this all about?

Wolfram: Caspar.

Caspar: Hm?

Wolfram: Cassspar.

Caspar: Spit it out, Wolf! Stop saying my name like that!

Wolfram: You REALLY don’t get the implications of accepting coming with me to my world, do you? At all?

Caspar: Implications? I’m gonna meet your family, like you’re gonna meet mine.

Wolfram: *sighs* You’re an idiot.

Caspar: I mean, you’re not gonna catch me saying I’m not, but what brought that on? Did I do something?

Wolfram: *fidgeting* How did you plan on introducing me to your family?

Caspar: My partner, of course!

Wolfram: *chokes* Partner-

Caspar: Aren’t we?! We’re unstoppable- wait, your hands on my face-mmpph!

Wolfram: ...

Caspar: mmph… That- that was a kiss. Did you- did you just kiss me.

Wolfram: … Yes, you idiot.

Caspar: *claps* AH! So it’s THAT kind of introducing to the family! I get it now! Hahaha!

Caspar, blushing: Oh, now I’m getting embarrassed, hah! Gods, I don’t think I know what to say now, especially after accepting everything without knowing what it all meant!

Wolfram: … Do you regret it?

Caspar: Hell no! C’mere you, and give me more of that! Mmmm!

Wolfram: Mmph! Y-you-

Caspar: Puahah! Turns out kissing you is WAY better than drinking the night away! Give me more!

Wolfram, blushing: A-anytime you want, of course, but- are you really okay with me? With… all of this?

Caspar: Hah! Do I look like I think too much? What matters is that we’re gonna be together, Wolf. And man, it took you to kiss me to realize how much I love being with you! Heck, I love YOU!

Wolfram: *sniffles* Oh, Caspar… I love you, too...

Caspar: Haha! Now bring those lips here...

Wolfram: So hasty...

[dailyaudiobible]

02/11/2020 DAB Transcript

Exodus 32:1-33:23, Matthew 26:69-27:14, Psalms 33:1-11, Proverbs 8:33-36

Today is the 11th day of February, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is a joy and a honor really an honor to be here with you and to let God's word speak into our lives as we just come around the roaring Global Campfire, come in out of the cold, see the firelight on each other's faces and let God's word speak to us. So, we have spent the last several days in the book of Exodus at Mount Sinai listening to God give instructions for things that he would like to be built and ways that he would like things done in the emerging culture of these former Egyptian slaves who are now being transformed into God's chosen people. So, God has finished up with that and so Moses is gonna come see the people but he’s not gonna be happy. Exodus chapter 32 and 33 today. And we’re reading from the New Living Translation this week.

Commentary:

Okay. 40 days in the wilderness around the mountain of God. That's what it took for the people to turn their backs on God. So, God had told Moses to get the people ready to meet with Him. It was His intention to be with them personally. They came sanctified around the mountain. God descended in a cloud and lightning and scared all the people. And, so, they asked Moses to be the spokesperson. And, so, He went to the top of the mountain to get the instructions, but it was taking too long. It was taking too long. 40 days in the wilderness is too long. And, so, they decided, “we don't know what happened. He’s gone. We don't know…we don't know what happened to Moses.” And the next thing you know they are worshiping false gods, claiming that this calf actually brought them out of Egypt and this calf would lead them forward into the promise land. That’s pretty ridiculous. It's a pretty ridiculous scene where there like, “we don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses. Make us gods that will lead us forward.” And Aaron, once he's confronted with what he did, he’s like, “I really didn’t do anything. I just asked them for some gold and through the gold in the fire and out came the calf.” The whole thing is ridiculous and it's far from the last time we’re gonna see ridiculous things being done by people in the Bible. And when we read the story, we’re like “what are you guys…what are you thinking? What are you doing? Didn’t…were you not there when the plagues came down upon Egypt to set you free? Did you not cross through the Red Sea on dry ground and watch your enemies be destroyed before your eyes without having to lift a finger? What is wrong with you people” until we realize that the Bible has held up a mirror before us and we’re looking at ourselves. How many days into any wilderness experience of your life do you go before you start complaining? A half of one? One? Two? And these folks, they were grumbling and worshiping false gods before they even got the instructions from God. That's kind of another ouch. The Bible does a good job of allowing us to see a situation from the outside and go like, “scratch our head” and “what's going on here? How are they so confused” until we realize we’re talking about ourselves too. And this brings front and center because we’re far enough in the Bible now to know this, we see the stories of the choices that people made, but we’re also able to see the path that was laid before them and the things that they chose and the pathway that those choices lead them on and then we begin understand that we’re walking the same path, wearing different clothes.

Prayer:

Father as we continue this wilderness journey in the Scriptures we invite Your Holy Spirit to bring to mind the wilderness experiences of our lives. And as we watch the children of Israel in the way that they respond to the different things that they face, help us understand that we’re also looking into the motives of our own heart and we’re sorry and we repent because we confess that we’ve been in the wilderness and looked for anything that promised to get us out of it, even if it was false. And what we desire is the narrow path that leads to life, even if it goes through the wilderness. Come Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s the way you find out what's happening around this community. And there’s always something or another happening around us community.

Right now it's just kind of final preparations for departure to the land of the Bible where we will be conducting the 2020 Daily Audio Bible pilgrimage to the land of the Bible. So, thank you for your prayers over that. We’ll be leaving later this week.

I've mentioned a couple of times now because it’s very, very recently been put up, the pilgrimage for 2021, which is next year to the land of the Bible will take place and registration is open and registrations are occurring. So, check that out. The details are all there. All the kinds of things that you would want to know - where are we going, where are we staying, what are we eating, what should I wear, is it safe - all these kinds of stuff that…that you would ask yourself. Those questions are answered at dailyaudiobible.com in the Initiatives section. Just look for Israel, 2021 and…and check that out.

In the meantime, that's a year away and we’re very, very, very focused on…on our pilgrimage for this year. And, so, thank you for your prayers. I'm asking…I’m asking for them. And I'm asking for them to not stop…well…I'm asking for them to not stop ever but in particular I'm asking them…for them to not stop while…while we do this international travel with so many brothers and sisters from so many places in the world. So, thank you. I see it as a canopy. I describe it like that. Raise a canopy of prayer over this whole thing and…and when I say we won't be going there alone, that's how it feels. It feels like there are thousands and thousands of us there in Spirit because that's how it is. And, so, thank you for…for your prayers over all of the travel that's coming up. It has its challenges. It can be brutal to go to the other side of the world and dive in but thank you for your prayers over the journey that we’re about to be on.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible. If this mission to bring God's spoken word read fresh every day in community brings life into your life, then thank you for being life-giving. It's…it's the difference between us being here and not being here that has always been true and we’re still here and it's humbling. So, thank you for your partnership. The link is on the homepage dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can just hit the Hotline button in the app. And by the way, if you have not yet updated to the new app. If you’re not like current, you need to get, you need to get there, you're missing out, and so many things are on the horizon there that…I just…I don’t want to not say that. If you’re using an older version of the app or whatever, just go to where…wherever you get your apps, whatever store you get your app store…your apps at. Just look for Daily Audio Bible mobile app. It's free. And download that and you will be up to date. And one…one tip…those of you that have been here from the beginning this year on the app, if you're not checking off your days that you listen to them, you’re gonna want to. Just a tip. Can't say more right now, but you’re gonna want to. And if you’re using like a different version of the app or an older version of the app, get updated. You’re gonna wanna check those boxes if you've listened each day. I mean, they're there to show it…like they’re there so we can easily see where we are, to see if like we missed something or whatever…to capture it. But there’s always been more to it and it's finally…finally coming soon. So, anyway, I went…that was not on the agenda to talk about today, but yeah make sure your app is up to date.

And I guess that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello everybody this is God’s Smile here. Today I had to…I was listening, and I’ve had to stop before Brian’s commentary and pause and rewind and I’ve done this several times and every time I…I just pray with me. Every time I got to the bit where Jesus says, “how I’ve long to cull you under my wings like a hen would gather her chicks.” I just…I just broke down and said “I’m so sorry Lord. I am so sorry that we’ve caused you so much pain. I’m so sorry. And I’ve asked this many times of God who wipes your tears away because I could really feel a portion of what God must’ve felt as he looks and looked upon His creation and longed…longed so much to pull us back under the shelter of His wings. Thank You, God for Your love and Your grace, Your long-suffering, Your slow to anger and quick to bless. Thank You, Lord for Your love, Your unfailing love that never fails us. I’m so sorry Lord. I’m so sorry that You had to go through all You did but I’m so thankful that You’ve redeemed us Lord, You gave us that second chance, You never failed us, You never for once thought it wasn’t worth the hassle of saving us and going through all You did. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You so much. We love You. Bye-bye.

[singing starts] Oh good and gracious God from everlasting your love shines through. Praise the Lord all His worth everywhere His highest name is exalted and His kingdom rules overall [singing stops]. This is Candace from Oregon and I gather Lord alongside my brothers and sisters in the DAB and lift up to you our dear precious sister Charisse as she is recovering from her injuries and begins to grapple with the loss of her husband in a car accident in early January. Oh Lord, minister to her heart. Pour out Your Spirit and Your healing balm. When I lost my husband, I had to wail and cry. I had to oft for times where I could be completely alone in my house so I could wail. Lord put her back together again and let her be a mom to the dear little ones that she and her husband that together. Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus be her husband be the dad of those kids.

Hi DAB family it’s Marla forgiven by the Savior from Albuquerque and I am calling in with a praise report. As you all know, as I’ve mentioned before, I have social anxiety which prevents me from going out and meeting new people and…well…being in crowds isn’t too bad just not huge crowds. So, I pretty much spend all my time alone; however I actually overcame my social anxiety on Monday and that was the 3rd of February and I met Suzanne from Albuquerque who is also on the DAB for lunch and it was absolutely lovely. It was a pleasure to meet her. She’s…Suzanne you are an awesome person and you are also a lovely person and I’m really glad that we were able to finally get to meet and hopefully we’ll be able to get to know each other better and have more lunches but I didn’t feel awkward at all which is a big deal for me. Because of my social anxiety I feel awkward, I feel vulnerable, but I didn’t. And when I met Suzanne for lunch it was like we’d known each other forever. We have a lot in common and this…this is a huge praise report for me. Anyway, I just wanted to call in and share that with you. Brian and Jill thank you so much for this format. The DAB has changed my life. I’ve been listening to it for 12 years now and I am a different person. So, I love you all very much and God bless.

Hi, everyone this is Lisa the Encourager. I wanted to call in today to continue to pray for the children of all the Daily Audio Bible listeners and the teenagers and the adult children. So, dear God I pray for each and every Daily Audio Bible listener God and I pray for their children. I pray for the ones that are in school and their safety God and I pray for their studies and the pressures of school and I pray for them to have the peace and that you will guide them along in their studies God and that they would have all the resources they need to be successful in school. I pray God for the ones that are being peer pressured in…to do things that they shouldn’t do and their lives. I pray that you will remove those peer pressures and bring people in their lives that will influence in them in positive spiritual ways. I pray for the brothers and sisters of those families God that they would be a good influence on their brothers and sisters. I pray for the ones that have addictions Lord and that are in a facility that are trying to overcome those addictions God. And I also pray for the ones that are on the streets and are still wandering and trying to find something that is going to bring them happiness besides you God. And I pray for the ones that are in jail in prison tonight that have gone astray, and I pray that they will be able to focus their lives on you while they’re in prison and turn their lives around. I pray for the ones that have recently been released out of prison God. I pray for all the children that are following you God that they will not be pulled away in any way...

Hey family this is God’s Little Bird and I’ve been meaning to call in for a while because I need to ask for prayer because it’s just been really difficult lately. I’m a high school teacher and just every year I’ve been at this 19 years, every year more and more is being asked of us. And it’s just getting harder and harder to do the job in this degraded morally degraded society where my kids show up with their needs not met and they don’t know what to do with that and their lashing out. And I just…I’m just very tired of being in that environment. And it’s not why I got into teaching. I wanted to help kids but this…this hurts. I mean…shout out to all my teachers out there, you know what I’m talking about. And, so, I’m to this point that I want to leave the profession and that would be a very big decision and probably a big pay cut and big life change. And I just…I don’t know if that’s what God wants for me. But I don’t know if He wants me to just stay and feel this way for 13 more years either. So, I just would ask for you to pray for clarity and discernment and strength. So, thank you very much. I love you guys. God’s Little Bird. Bye.

Good morning everyone this is Melody from Canada I just felt a nudge to pray about the corona virus. I don’t know…usually I have my calls all scripted out before, but I just pray about the corona virus. So, God will You pray for the people who have been infected. We pray for quick recovery. We pray that the virus will be contained, and it will not spread all across the world. And most of all I pray against fear. I pray that people will not be found in fear, that if it’s keeping people from doing what You’re calling them to do, I just pray against that fear. And thank You that You’ve given us authority over all the enemy power. We talk on snakes and scorpions will crush them under our feet and nothing in any way will do us any harm Luke 10:19. Thank You that You’ve given us authority over all these things. And we pray God that we would be Your light and Your voice of peace in the midst of this chaos. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

[goth-giraffe]

🖊 + your cyborg character (I mean? Cyborg?? Tell me more! xD) 🖊 + for any of your OCs (I'm just really curious to get to know more of your characters :D) I wold also suggest another one for Meredith... (if you want to ramble more about her xD)

Oh awesome! Yeah I always love to ramble about my OCs, I just wish I had more motivation to draw them haha xD Maybe this’ll help though- thank you!

Kaedyn~

Ah- my cyborg character is a pretty underdeveloped, for instance I’m not entirely sure on all their technological enhancements. They basically have really fancy prosthetics in place of at least one leg and one arm too. But anyway I’d love to ramble about them anyway! Their name is Kaedyn and they’re nonbinary! (I use neutral or feminine pronouns with them, I’m currently trying to use they/them but sometimes I slip up- it’s mostly because of my indecisiveness, but I don’t know, maybe they’re genderfluid?) And they live in a futuristic setting which is part of the reason they’re a bit underdeveloped compared to some of my other OCs, because I’m a dummy that wants to create characters in weird settings in theory, but then you have to come up with all these things about the setting to get to know the character better so… haha yeah.

But anyway! Kaedyn is really smart about some things but also very competitive. Not the type to back down from a dare. Whether it’s eating something gross or fighting the Hulk, to be honest… (And that may have had something to do with them losing a couple limbs, but who knows.) They call themself a cyborg mostly to intimidate people to be honest… there are still a lot of prejudices about cyborgs. And they do have at least two fully functioning robotic limbs so. Anyway they get kind of a “Don’t mess with a cyborg” attitude when people look at them weird or are just in general being rude.

They’re dating Numbers, who’s kind of the opposite of Kaedyn - she’s more of a brooding genius type. And she works for her eccentric aunt’s robotics company. They supply robotic prosthetics and other medical stuff like that, and yeah I imagine that’s how they met each other- Kaedyn calls in for tech support and talks past the remote control hologram or whatever, and immediately starts flirting when they start talking to an alive being… which was Numbers. Numbers speaks exclusively in number code though, and she doesn’t talk to a lot of real people (she lives with robots and her aunt Madlin) because a lot of people don’t understand her. But Kaedyn is smart, especially with mathematics and deciphering things so it doesn’t take them long to understand, and they think Numbers is adorable so, basically their relationship is the “extrovert takes introvert under their wing” trope.

Anyway, they like inventing things together. Kaedyn has a degree in engineering (or something? details fuzzy, sorry) and loves tinkering with stuff or rather tearing stuff apart pbbt and Numbers brainstorms schematics for new robots and stuff. Kaedyn is actually really smart, you just don’t see that a lot with their beat stuff up until it’s fixed attitude. (I don’t know if anyone here has seen The Red Green Show but Kaedyn’s motto? “If it ain’t broke you’re not trying!”) Besides that they cuddle or deal with Numbers’ mood swings… and eventually Madlin disappears and they have to take care of this prototype robot which is basically an experiment in artificial mental illness. …Which is not as fun as it sounds. xD

Oh. And Kaedyn refers to Numbers exclusively as “babe”. (Numbers is a nickname but her real name is actually undecided so…… Kaedyn just gives her another nickname haha.)

Okay. I get the feeling I am making absolutely no sense, I’m sorry. Mostly this is like, a vague comic idea I had? Mad scientist aunt disappears, no one really knows where. Her introverted niece has to take care of a prototype robot who thinks he’s a child and is kind of scared of everything… and cope with her partner who picks fights with anyone. …Yeah when I think about this goofy little story I for some reason imagine them in a black and white comic style. Like, Kaedyn’s got their tools and a broken robot on the table and they’re like “Babe where’s my wrench” while they’re scratching their head with it. Very smart but also very stupid is one of my favourite tropes ahaha  

Okay I’m not sure who to ramble about next?? My characters are so underdeveloped, good golly.

Nicholas~

I’m gonna ramble about him even though I have seriously been thinking he needs a lot of work, I’ve actually been considering giving him a new name but, anyway.

He’s in a weird fantasy setting and he’s a dragon! His race of dragons though are basically humans that have can transform into dragons. Except the horns, tails, wing stumps, and some of them have weird eyes. But dragons have some magic and if they master it they can hide those things while they’re in their human form. Nicholas himself though has really only figured out how to get rid of the wing stumps. Still sleeps on his tummy out of habit though.

Nicholas is probably the most innocent character I have, to be honest. He’s very soft- he really likes flowers, braiding his hair or having his hair braided, also he’s very curious about humans. Which is weird for dragons, most of them think of humans as either very dangerous or mid-afternoon snacks. But Nicholas was raised differently, so he’s curious. Not to mention lonely. Dragons are actually pretty rare and he only ever met his parents, but he doesn’t remember his father very well (who died when he was young) and since his mother died in his teens he’s been alone.

I imagine at some point he befriends a witch and they possibly become a love interest for him but this is where it gets fuzzy and undecided. I do like to imagine he meets a human character and becomes close to them, I just haven’t really decided how that happens or if he meets just one witch or a family/household or what. But he also finds out he likes poetry, but he’s illiterate so he has to have someone read it to him. I imagine this in medieval times, so not many people can read but that’s also why I imagine a witch character because. Learning from spellbooks I guess. And just generally not really being part of the human population… and not being scared of dragons. Even though Nicholas would probably not scare many people pbbbt. xD Yeah, anyway. He likes to be read to.

I don’t know, most of my characters are just kind of vague ideas. He’s just a cute little forest creature who happens to be able to grow really big and breath fire. xD I’ve thought about making a more modern AU which would probably be easier to develop but yeah I really can’t decide.

Anyway, except for a couple forgettable doodles I haven’t actually drawn Nicholas… but fortunately, I do have an awesome drawing of him by @iridiscreate! I hope to do a serious drawing of him myself sometime, but I’m actually okay with that being his main reference for now- he looks very pretty! :D

Meredith~

Oh I’ll pretty much always take any chances to ramble about Meredith! Haha she’s the OC I know the most about to be honest xD

The first time her hair was cut short was because her mom was tired of having to chase her down to brush it. So there was a time when she was pretty young that her parents made her wear these big bows in her hair when she went out… she hated them, she still hates them, and her mom still tries to convince her to wear them when she comes to visit, because she cut her hair again. (Yeah… she has some family issues…)

Okay, Meredith loves music. She has kind of a complicated relationship with it, but she loves music. She usually has classical music playing in the background at her apartment, while she’s reading or whatever. She also plays violin, but she’s weird about that, she doesn’t usually listen to it when she plays (she wears ear plugs), and she mostly uses it as an outlet when her emotions get the better of her. She was much more enthusiastic about violin when she was a girl. She’s always had a love of music, it kind of runs in her family. She originally wanted to play piano like her grandfather (who was a singer/pianist in a bar) but her father wouldn’t allow that. Though when the violin option was allowed she was very excited, and when she was little she dreamed of being a concert violinist. Her parents mostly favoured violin because of the discipline it would require to learn and practice, and their past attempts to discipline her? Ehh, not so great. xD In the end though her parents killed her enthusiasm for violin. Their habit of displaying their daughters’ talents to their friends but otherwise having little interest was a bit discouraging… and for Meredith, very damaging. The older she got and the more she thought about it she felt her parents were disinterested in her from the start, so that led to a very rocky teenage years. (For instance she spent ages two to six (ish) being sent to her grandparents’ house a lot. Not with her sisters, no, just her- because she was being difficult and her parents were tired of her. So that hurt when she really thought about it.) So… anyway now she kind of loves and hates violin. Now when she plays it still brings her back to being the trophy her parents preferred to keep on the back of the shelf, but it also brings her back to being the little girl who was in love with music… so. Mixed feelings there. …

Did I have way too many Meredith feels while I was writing this and have to edit out most of my emotions later? NO absolutely not I’m not crying you are SHUSH

Oof I know I’ve already rambled a lot but one more thing. Just a cute little fact, not exactly about Meredith but still. She is her nephew Aidan’s favourite aunt. He’s like four years old and has blonde hair with bright blue tips, because he begged his mother (Meredith’s sis Jessie) to dye his hair blue. Anyway yeah, Meredith is pretty good with kids… they probably like her because she’s so weird. Funny though, because with her looking pretty much like the insomniac goth mess she is, she definitely doesn’t give off any maternal vibes to anyone else she meets… except kids. (It’s the blue hair again, it has magical powers. Haha okay I’m kidding. xD)

Anyway! Sorry for getting this answered so late ahh!! I swear I wasn’t avoiding this ask (I was actually very excited about it) but I kept getting interrupted in the middle of rambling so.. yeah. Anyway thank you again for the ask!! Sorry I rambled an ungodly amount!! xD

Send me a 🖊 to make me ramble about my OCs! (yeah no kidding about the rambling)

[dolce-elegy]

Hartman: The Wannabe King of the “Seven Mountains”

[Better looking/better formatted version on Google Docs]

A couple of days ago while, sitting back, relaxing along with eating some popcorn while enjoying the unfolding Oaxis drama I came across this tweet that talked about how a network by the name of Daystar, that was associated with Butch Hartman, supports a “Christian” cult by the name of Bethel Church.

While that sentence alone of Hartman playing a game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with a literal fucking cult would have been the ridiculous icing on the cake on this whole trainwreck, I ended up becoming curious and went down the rabbit hole so to speak. The horrible, horrible right-wing “Christian” rabbit hole. Thank God for private browsing let me tell you… Basically what I found out was while Hartman had no definitive ties to this Bethel Church (which let me tell you the stuff that I read about it was really…something. I suggest reading this Buzzfeed article about their actual real-life-i-am-not-joking school named Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, which is basically and again I am not fucking kidding the right-wing “prophecy” and “faith healing”-focused version of Hogwarts) and he and his family only did a short interview with Daystar, I did however find some interesting facts about the company that Hartman and his family keeps along with his ties to another evangelical ministry which…let’s be honest still sounds like a fucking cult.

Like let me tell you this post’s got everything: homophobic bullshit ministries tied to what is essentially considered to be an “evangelical mecca,” an unaccredited two year “bible college” where you gotta pay over $4,000 too much each school year for what is not a legitimate degree, Hartman’s NOOG Network being used to help fund said “bible college,” “faith healing,” and a fucked-up-when-you-think-about-it religious doctrine/end-game master plan of Evangelical/Charismatic churches that even the most over-the-top super villain would call cliche.

Anyways if you want the short version, Hartman’s whole indoctrination plan using Oaxis goes a lot deeper than that and is directly tied and influenced by an evangelical practice called “The Seven Mountain Mandate” where seven different facets of society need to be controlled and influenced by their version of “Christianity” in order to create a perfect and “Godly" world with one of those facets being that of “arts and entertainment…” I’m going to warn you right now this is going to be extremely long but hopefully worth it in the end.

So shall we begin? (Also RIP mobile users)

Before I get into the meat of the details, let me go more in depth as to what “The Seven Mountain Mandate” is. According to GotQuestions.org, an online “ministry” made up of people from various Christian sects, answering people’s questions about Christianity, this is what it is all about:

“The seven mountain mandate or the seven mountain prophecy is an anti-biblical and damaging movement that has gained a following in some Charismatic and Pentecostal churches. Those who follow the seven mountain mandate believe that, in order for Christ to return to earth, the church must take control of the seven major spheres of influence in society for the glory of Christ. Once the world has been made subject to the kingdom of God, Jesus will return and rule the world.

Here are the seven mountains, according to the seven mountain mandate:

1) Education

2) Religion

3) Family

4) Business

5) Government/Military

6) Arts/Entertainment

7) Media

These seven sectors of society are thought to mold the way everyone thinks and behaves. So, to tackle societal change, these seven “mountains” must be transformed. The mountains are also referred to as ‘pillars,’ ‘shapers,’ ‘molders,’ and ‘spheres.’ Those who follow the seven mountain mandate speak of ‘occupying’ the mountains, ‘invading’ the culture, and ‘transforming’ society.”

Yeah so holy fuck this is like some Illuminati bullshit right here. Well, some Sunday school Illuminati bullshit but still kind of troubling none-the-less.

The website also goes on to say,

“The seven mountain mandate has its roots in dominion theology, which started in the early 1970s with a goal of ‘taking dominion’ of the earth, twisting Genesis 1:28 to include a mandate for Christians to control civil affairs and all other aspects of society. The New Apostolic Reformation, with its self-appointed prophets and apostles, has also influenced the seven mountain movement, lending dreams and visions and other extra-biblical revelations to the mandate.

The seven mountain mandate says that it is the duty of all Christians to create a worldwide kingdom for the glory of Christ. Teachers in the movement use Isaiah 2:2, which mentions mountains, in an attempt to support their view: ‘In the last days the mountain of the LORD’s temple will be established as the highest of the mountains; it will be exalted above the hills, and all nations will stream to it.’ The principal goal of dominion theology and the seven mountain mandate is political and religious domination of the world through the implementation of the moral laws—and subsequent punishments—of the Old Testament.”

So let’s go over the facts again about good ol’ Elmer’s Oaxis streaming service. The same day Hartman’s kickstarter was funded, a video of him talking at a Lance Wallnau’s conference in Lone Tree, Colorado, by the name of “Wealthbuilders” surfaced. Now you may be asking; who in the fresh hell is Lance Wallnau, well to know a little bit more about Wallnau here’s what he says about himself on his website:

“Dr. Wallnau is an internationally recognized speaker, business and political strategist. USA Today reports that he is one of only three evangelical leaders to have accurately predicted Donald Trump's Presidency. Dr. Wallnau's best selling book, ‘Gods Chaos Candidate’ is credited as being the catalyst that mobilized thousands of Christian's to vote for Donald Trump and contributed to Trumps unprecedented election victory.”

I also highly doubt that he has actual doctorate in theology but that’s just me.

This dude also of course,

loves Milo Yiannopoulos

and last year in March, according to Right Wing Watch he,

“…claimed Alt-Right troll Milo Yiannopoulos for Jesus Christ and prophesied that he will one day be leading revivals on college campuses.

Wallnau said that he began listening to Yiannopoulos in the wake of the controversy regarding his comments condoning pederasty and found him to be a brave truth-teller who ‘is exposing the tyranny and fascist spirit behind the progressive left.’ Yiannopoulos is like 'a prophetic fencer just scoring point after point,’ Wallnau said, which is why the left is out to destroy him.”

That...is a loaded fucking statement right there if I’ve ever seen one...

“But the left will not destroy him, Wallnau predicted, because Yiannopoulos is going to undergo a radical religious conversion and lead an army of millennial prophets who will take on the left.

‘I’m claiming Milo in the name of Jesus for the Kingdom of God,’ Wallnau declared. ‘Just like [Donald] Trump was an unlikely candidate for us as a deliverer in the presidency … God hid himself in Trump, I think God is hiding himself in Milo and I’m calling him out in Jesus’ name to salvation.’”

So fucking yeah…there’s that…Ohhhhhh and it gets even better…so going back to Got Questions, guess who’s movement’s biggest influencer is and who basically started it all…That’s right it’s troll boy’s biggest fanboy,

“Lance P. Wallnau coined the term seven mountain mandate and is its most prominent teacher. Wallnau adapts the missionary mandate of Jesus to His disciples to ‘go and make disciples’ of all the nations into a mandate to effect social transformation. He reasons that, since churches already have a presence in every nation in the world, we need to now concentrate on influencing the systems (the ‘mountains’) within these nations. The problem, according to Wallnau, is that Christians are not currently influencing society outside the church. Christians have left the mountains susceptible to the ‘gates of hell,’ which are spiritual portals over the ‘kings’ (influence-shapers) of those mountains.

Wallnau’s teaching is loosely based on the Abrahamic Covenant, which promised Abraham a seed and a lasting inheritance. Also, Israel was promised in Deuteronomy 28:12–14 to be the ‘head and not the tail' among the nations. Proponents of the seven mountain mandate infer that the church, not Israel, is the entity to claim that promise. It is now up to believers to move in proximity to the ‘gates of hell’ and position themselves to exert the greatest amount of influence. The church then needs to be dissected into ‘micro components’ and infiltrate the mountains. Since every Christian can’t position himself at the top of every mountain, each individual is to find his particular smaller peak and be a leader in that realm.”

Yeah…

Anyways, Wallnau’s “Wealthbuillders” is a “business” conference that claims that it could help a person get out of debt, discover “God’s plan” for them, and how to “influence,” make a “difference” and how “..to know which of the Seven Mountains...” they’re “...meant to impact.”

This conference and the video of Butch laying out his “plan” also surprisingly enough happened back in February. And I just love how literally right off the bat, like 30 seconds in, he starts talking about the “Mountain of Arts and Entertainment” and how Lance Wallnau gave him and his wife the idea. Some other choice quotes are:

“We’re gonna save culture. We’re gonna save families. We are going to speak to them in parables…” Time stamp 12:37

“We’re gonna win freakin’ awards for our programming in order to make a dent …We’re gonna make a dent in this mountain of entertainment I promise you and the minute I put this up people will flock to this…” Time stamp 17:48

“We must win back our future, and like Lance says, ‘We are the stone that is gonna slay the giant.’” Time stamp 18:29

Also I haven’t seen other people talk about this but there were also two other Evangelical talk shows that both he and his family (particularly his wife who is heavily involved in the promotion of Oaxis) appeared on in early July. One was his and his family’s (including his two daughters) appearance promoting Oaxis on the aforementioned Daystar Network’s “Marcus and Joni” show on July 16th with the timestamp starting at 6:19 (and here’s a link to a youtube clip if you don’t want to give them the clicks), that I mentioned earlier. Daystar is one of America’s largest religious networks with close to 100 affiliates (specifically 94) all across the US. Also fun fact: Marcus and Joni are married and Marcus being the “good and moral Christian” that he is, had an extramarital affair a while back, had to pay blackmailers millions in dollar to keep quiet about until he was forced to admit said affair in order to stop them, which then culminated in Daystar getting sued by a former executive who stated that knowledge of the affair caused her “...great emotional pain.”

Moving on, in this video it you’ll see the same egotistical thing about how Hartman claims that “…God told me to start this new network…” and “God told us to launch this Kickstarter…”

His wife Julieann also states this interesting little tidbit,

“Yeah I feel that, you know, Christians have been pushed into a corner when it comes to entertainment. That we can’t watch this and we can’t watch this and it’s like why is that? So that’s why we’ve created this. It’s gonna be amazing. You know I’m a mom of two daughters and you know I was helicopter mom, and I still am even though they’re adults. But you know we’ve gotta watch because they sometimes, you know, they don’t realize what they’re watching and what they’re getting into. And so it’s really important that we have a streaming service like this to where you can put your kids in front of; your adult kids in front of; your teenage kids in front and say ‘you know what I’m safe at home right here at Oaxis…at Oaxis entertainment…’”

So wait, according to her even full-grown adults still have to stay under the thumb of their parents and you think that even though they’re adults they’re still not mature enough to sort through the kinds of media that they want?? Jesus Christ and here I thought my parents were overprotective.

Now the second interview that Hartman and his wife did (and which actually at an earlier date on July 2), was appearing on the “Truth and Liberty” Youtube live cast, by the name of “Animator Butch Hartman: Teen Suicide, Depression & Impacting Cultu [re]” (yeah they deadass ran out of room to write the title) [EDIT: VIDEO HAS BEEN DELETED] of yet another slimy self-proclaimed “Christian,” by the name of Andrew Wommack.

Now Wommack and Wallhau are terrible people BFFS along with being BFFs to the Hartman family due to his past history with Hartman’s wife that I will get into in a bit. He’s also of course a bit of an infamous homophobic evangelical preacher.

“If the radical LGBT community uses this as a platform to start further suppressing the religious liberties of Christians—which I’m sure is coming—then this could cause a backlash against their radical agenda by so many people that it could bring America back to her senses.

The true hate speech today is not from Christians against homosexuals; it is the other way around. The homosexual community are the ones who hate Christianity and any moral standards. They are the ones who are truly intolerant. Beneath all the rhetoric is a true hatred for Christianity, the Bible, and all the moral restraints they impose. This is the spirit of antichrist that is working in the whole earth (1 John 4:3).” - from “Andrew’s Response to the Supreme Court’s Decision, June 26, 2015” Andrew Wommack Ministries Blog

Oh and he has just as interesting views on suicide as Elmer does~

“This isn’t a disease for which we have no cure. This is totally preventable, but not by teaching people how to cope better, having more drugs for treatment of mental illness, or staging more interventions by friends and family. Those are just treating the symptoms. In order to treat the problem, we have to correctly diagnose the cause.

The root problem is that our society has unleashed pure evil into our culture through promoting immorality and sin through media, schools, and government while marginalizing Christianity and its godly influence. We’ve had a major departure from the moral standards that held evil in check for hundreds of years in this nation, and now we are paying the price.”

He is just as much as Wallnau is, all about the Seven Mountains let me tell you that. So much so that he owns an “entrepreneurial” company by the name of 7M Ventures, Inc. which falls under the umbrella of his main brand of Andrew Wommack Ministries (where he has congregations all over the US and the World) and his website by the name of TruthandLiberty.net. In 7M Ventures, Inc.’s main description on twitter, it talks about how it’s “…focused on influencing the world and providing income to fund ministry growth.”

And presented without comment

Anyways, going back to the Hartman interview, here’s some “choice” quotes and things that happened in this video.

Time stamp 00:00 INTRO: “We believe we have a mandate to bring Godly change to our nation and the world through the seven spheres or mountains of influence…”

Time stamp 02:05 “So tonight we are going to be about talking about the ‘arts and entertainment’ mountain because ‘truth and liberty’ is really about all the seven mountains.” -Karen Conrad, co-host

Time stamp 5:30 “…And I really think that looking at the entertainment mountain these days I think we really are in need of a lot more family entertainment…”

Hartman also goes more into detail about how Wallnau gave him the inspiration for Oaxis at 5:45:

“Lance Wallnau and I was up talking about the mountain of entertainment and how a lot of Christian people; and we’re Christian people, are kind of intimidated by Hollywood and things like that; they just want Hollywood to just go away. And we looked at each other and went ‘we gotta go…got to go in and at least bring an option into Hollywood that; not there’s no family friendly entertainment out there but it’s sort of treated like the kids table at Thanksgiving. Like it’s not taken very seriously, um, as much as I think it should be and a lot of other stuff is out there that I think, you know, maybe a lot of kids and families don’t really want to watch. And so we thought, you know, we should do we should a streaming service just for the family…”

Time stamp 7:33 Julieann talks about doing a “news program” for the Oaxis network where it will only talk about “positive” news stories

Time stamp 10:20 Hartman basically insinuates that the reason why teen suicides are up so much is because of phones.

Time stamp 11:55 Hartman basically insinuates that Oaxis will lower suicide rates by affecting the mountain of arts and entertainment.

Hartman in general just repeatedly mentions the mountains and affecting them.

Time stamp 20:19 “…And we know that we’re not gonna limit God. We’re not limiting Him at all.”

Time stamp 23:24 “…We love Jesus and but we want to put Jesus in our shows. I believe that you can reflect Jesus in your content without saying the word ‘Jesus.’”

Okay now Hartman’s just flat out admitting that he believes that his scam of a “network” will affect suicide statistics… “Then I believe that those suicide rates might go down…” at Time stamp 27:04

Time stamp 31:05 From his wife Julieann, “Could you imagine living with that? Of knowing that maybe someone killed themselves because they watched your show?”

Ohhhhhhhh, oh honey. Both of y’all just gonna ignore what happened last year now aren’t you?

Moving on...

Time stamp 34:40 “When I did shows at Nickelodeon, I did all my cartoons. And I couldn’t say the word ‘Jesus’ in them. I couldn’t say any of that because the network wouldn’t put it on. But I could put Jesus’ principles in there…”

Listen... people have already scraped the bottom of the barrel in regards to this for jokes but, you greenlit fairy m-preg. You, yourself helped to write said fairy m-preg. Never forget the fairy m-preg Butch. Because we sure as hell won’t let you.

Also nice to see that his wife shares his flip-flopping views on things At 36:40 when asked by one of the hosts who’s fielding a similar question from two different people about how different is Oaxis from other services such as “Pureflix” and “Faith and Family,” she answered, “Well number one we are not a Christian network. So it’s not going to be faith-based programming.”

She also goes on to say that they’re going to be challenging the writers to create something that’s just as compelling, but just without all the bad stuff. In other news, local woman does not know understand the reason why narrative conflict, along with the tragedy and drama genres have to exist when we can just be happy all day, everyday. More at 11.

Hartman and his wife also talk about how they learned that from Andrew Wommack and how Hartman and him met primarily through his (Hartman’s) wife. Which brings me to how exactly Julieann and Wommack exactly got connected. In the first minute or so Wommack talks about how Julieann, a woman who became a born-again Christian at age 27, was actually one of their “healing journeys” and she once dealt with fibromyalgia and “…many other things…” but through the power of “faith healing” she “successfully” overcame all of her problems after spending over thousands of dollars on different doctors and treatments.

“And Jesus just healed you” Andrew Wommack said to Julieann who immediately confirmed his statement.

Now what the other issues that she was dealing with that aren’t mentioned in this video are various mental issues primarily being anxiety.

“Julieann suffered with the mental anxieties she had always battled, but this time she had physical symptoms as well. Every day she struggled with chronic flulike symptoms, body aches and pains, random numbness and twitching. The Hartmans spent tens of thousands of dollars on medical and alternative treatments trying to help Julieann. Her life became consumed with visiting specialists and worse—diagnosing herself via the Internet.” from “Julieann Hartman: A Fearless Woman of Faith” Andrew Wommack Ministries Blog

Also I just love this quote from her about how she was before she got introduced to Wommack…

"The funny part of this was that even if a doctor would give me medication, I wouldn’t take it because I felt that I was not being in faith. It was crazy!”

…There…is a lot to unpack there, so I think I’ll leave it at that…moving on…

“During a trip to Texas to celebrate Thanksgiving in 2009, Julieann stumbled across Andrew's Gospel Truth program on TV. Within seconds she dismissed Andrew wondering aloud, ‘Who could listen to him? I would fall asleep.’ Six months later however, she came across Andrew again. This time, she heard Andrew say something that grabbed her attention and went straight to her heart. Andrew was sharing things Julieann had never heard before and she was captivated.

Julieann went to Andrew's website and began downloading his teachings and ordering materials. ‘I took two weeks, cleared my schedule, and I didn’t leave my house. I listened to Andrew, I watched Andrew, I prayed, I read and I spoke to my body! I was filled with so much peace and joy! I also enrolled in the Online Charis Bible College. I immersed myself in the Word! The Word came alive in me and my symptoms started to change,’ said Julieann.”

So yeah, there’s that. Also keep the Charis Bible College in the back of your mind…we’re gonna get to that soon because Hartman’s wife ain’t the only one involved with that.

“‘I don’t know what the teaching was, but it was him saying that there was a man who had Parkinson’s. And so Andrew says, ‘So, I say to him, ‘Just tell your hand to stop shaking’. . . . So [the man] said, ‘Hand, stop shaking.’ And it did!’ Julieann continues, ‘So, I’m watching this going . . . what? But there was something about it that . . . just caught me.’”

So basically from there she went on a Wommack bender and absorbed everything that he’s ever said and done, and the rest is history. She and her whole family became obsessed with him and his “teachings.” Even talking about how they watch his videos all the time. Also about how much she wanted her two daughters to go to Charis Bible College, and they later did.

“From that revelation, Julieann started claiming the healing that already belonged to her. ‘I walked through my hallways going, ‘In the name of Jesus, stop being numb. Numbness, you are dead. You get out of my body now in the name of Jesus! Get out of my body! Pain, back pain, get out of my body! I don’t care what’s been spoken over me or whatever anybody told me or said I have. In the name of Jesus, I rebuke all of that and, body, you come back to life now!’’

Although Julieann said all the right things, her healing did not come all at once. Undeterred, she continued to press into God’s Word until, little by little, all her symptoms melted away. ‘It was a progressive healing, but the only reason it was progressive is because I made it progressive.’ Julieann continues, ‘It wasn’t just the healing on the outside. It was teaching me about who I was in Christ, and that was the missing link.’”

There is still a lot of things to unpack here…

Time stamp 46:29. Wommack also talks about how both of Hartman’s daughters went to Charis Bible College.

[Instagram Post from Hartman’s youngest daughter’s (Sophia Hartman) graduation this past May. Pictured here: Julieann Hartman, Butch Hartman, Andrew Wommack, Jamie Wommack (his wife), Sophia Hartman, and Carly Hartman]

Hell, in the infamous “Wealthbuilders” video that brought him public outrage, Hartman also admitted that both of his daughters (at the time in February at Time stamp 1:29) were students there. Now what exactly is Charis Bible College? CBC, or Colorado Bible School as it was originally known as, is a 2-3 year “school” which is,

“Focused on educating the body of Christ about who God is and who He is in His saints. Charis Bible College is equipping the saints for the work of the ministry, training disciples to go out and share the Gospel with the rest of the world in the way God has uniquely called each individual to do it.”

It has over 16 locations in both the US and across the world, with the main campus being in Woodland Park, Colorado.

It’s also unaccredited.

Oh and their application fee is $100 (which of course is non-refundable and Jesus fuck is 2x more than I had to pay for my own application fee to apply to fucking graduate school) and the cost of an individual’s tuition paid in advance is at least $4,500, which for an uncredited, basically useless degree is still $4,500 too much.

But hey, “mountain of education."

Also going back to Hartman’s wife. In the video of her “healing journey” she states something rather interesting at times stamp 9:34...

“So we started the NOOG Network; it’s N-O-O-G Network and we call it a safe place for kids. What we wanna do is, the money that comes from the network is gong right into the dorms…” And she basically talks about whatever else too. “I am so on board with his vision.”

So...I don’t know exactly how to look up financials and donations for groups and such, and I’m surprised that the NOOG Network even fucking got off the ground, but the fucking implication...If any of y’all have downloaded the app... probably been forced to sit through ads which bring in revenue for the owner (aka Hartman)...and the app page says it has in-app purchases...I’m sorry you may have helped fund Charis Bible College dorms or whatever else Andrew Wommack desires, and as the Narrator of the video says at 10:00,

“The NOOG Network is just one of the many ways the Hartmans are advancing God’s Kingdom.”

If you don’t know, that video is actually from at least late 2015 since it was featured in a February 2016 speech given by Butch Hartman at CBC for its 3rd year “Media School.”

He says some more interesting things. Such at 34:24,

“If you have an iphone, the NOOG Network is a network on the iphone store and it’s absolutely free. It’s free so you have no excuse.” [The app store says that it currently costs 99 cents to download] “Um, I’d like you all to download this cause this is ‘God’s Network...’

At 34:58 “You know how you guys are invested in this ministry? This [the NOOG Network] is my ministry.”

I do also want to talk about one more thing. So on the original

Oaxis Kickstarter page’s “Community” tab

I noticed that the most backers in the US came from Colorado City, CO.

Suddenly I got a weird feeling and wondered if there was any correlation or strange connection...

Oh.

Well that explains a lot. It is rather interesting when you take into account that Andrew Wommack Ministries’ main US address is in Colorado Springs as well. Not to mention, his Charis Bible School. And even Wallnau’s “Wealthbuilders” conference took place at a Marriott in Lone Tree, CO. I guess all that promoting on his show and Daystar paid off after huh, Hartman?

Anyways I think that’s it for now. I kept finding more and more fucked up insidious stuff and I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more. I just wanted people to know about this because they should. It seems that Hartman actually doesn’t want to just indoctrinate kids into these awful values, but everyone else too. And honestly, in retrospect their tagline for their Oaxis network, “Oaxis: Because we’re family” sounds cult-ish as hell... At the end of the Hartmans’ interview on Wommack show, Wommack started talking about getting people [i.e. their supporters] ready to vote [as in vote for the Christian Conservative candidates] in the Mid-term elections, and sorry if I’m going a little off-topic here but here’s your friendly, little reminder:

VOTE.

Don’t let these fake as hell “Christians” win and ruin this country even more for their 7-step-take-over-the-world plan. Hartman is just one small part of this BS.

Like I’m sorry if I’m sounding like a conspiracy nut but this “Seven Mountains Mandate” is a real fucking belief system that needs to be talked about. And it’s fucking disgusting that Hartman and his family were going to even attempt to worm their way into the minds of children and their families, filling their heads up with their “values,” which from the company that they keep, correlates more with hate than the love and acceptance that one is supposed to have when they’re a Christian. I doubt that Oaxis will become as popular and successful as Hartman kept claiming to his buddies; especially with the whole public fallout considering what happened with the kickstarter. Also only God knows if they’re even still gonna try and go through with it after the mainstream reaction that they got, but again, it’s fucked up that they even tried it in the first place.

To quote GotQuestions on the mandate again,

“The church then needs to be dissected into ‘micro components’ and infiltrate the mountains. Since every Christian can’t position himself at the top of every mountain, each individual is to find his particular smaller peak and be a leader in that realm.”

So in conclusion: don’t give them an inch. Be wary of any conservative evangelical that talks about “mountains,” “spheres,” or “pillars.” Hold them accountable and don’t let these manipulators even get close to the base of a “mountain” let alone, what they consider to be their “peak.”

Some other “fun” links:

Lance Wallnau’s Right Wing Watch tag

Andrew Wommack’s Right Wing Watch tag

2010 Box Turtle Bulletin Article “Andrew Wommack and His Ministries Are Trying to Kill You” in regards to the (currently unpassed at the time) proposed Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill

[poppibranchlover]

The Queen and the Butterfly II: The Witch’s Curse - Part 3

This story is a sequel to “The Queen and the Butterfly”.

The story: Poppy offers Branch some cupcakes with butterflies in it which turns out to be mysterious. When the two Trolls eat them, they got transformed into butterflies themselves and realize that the cupcakes were actually cursed by an evil witch! Now they must try to find the witch who made those cupcakes and get a cure to get themselves back to normal, while encountering obstacles in the process along the way.

You already seen what had happened in Part 2. Now get ready for Part 3!:

Out in Troll Forest, Poppy was fluttering around like a very happy butterfly. She whirled in circles and loops as she cried out with excitement “THIS IS FUN!! I LOVE BEING A BUTTERFLY!!!”

She didn’t see that Branch was following behind her. He was still holding the Warning! note from the butterfly cupcake wrappers in his mouth as he went after Poppy, flapping his small shimmering blue wings. He couldn’t keep up with her much longer as fluttering takes in a very increased difficulty for him.

“Poppy, oh please, come back here!” he mumble-shouted, teeth clenched tightly on the note for dear life. “Watch where you’re going! You may break a skull!”

WHOOOOOSSHH!! WHOOOOOSSSH!!

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind whooshed straight into Branch. He struggled to flap his little wings as hard as he can to escape the strong breeze and tried holding on to the note, still in his mouth. But the wind was just as strong as before and it blew the note away from Branch’s grasp!

WHOOOOOSSHH!! WHOOOOOSSSH!!

Branch turned to see the note flying away from him and screamed “NO!”

Panicking, he turned the other way where the note was heading for and fluttered after it, wailing “No no no no no! Noooooo! Come back here!”

The note swirled around the large mass of wind as it flew out of sight and away from Branch, who unsuccessfully tried using his hair to get it. Then he frantically fluttered in another part of the woods, flying around in a desperate search for the message.

“Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?” he muttered frantically as he flew about the woods. Soon he found it stuck in something right next to a small cave beside it.

Branch would be relieved by then but realizes where the note is stuck to.

“Oh no! A spiderweb?!” he screamed. “No! Nope! I’m not going there! Too dangerous for me!”

He turned away from the web in terror. After all this time, Branch is afraid of spiders and webs because some of them were like a major threat to the Troll world but some are small, cute and fuzzy. But he knew he had to get that note so he can tell Poppy what caused himself and her to become butterflies. Taking a deep breath, he tried to give in a little easily but he was trembling too hard.

He fluttered to the note that was stuck in the web and rested on it. He made a face and asked to himself “Uh, how can I get it out of here?”

His antennae twitched as he tried to think of a solution. Then he crawled to the edge of the note and grabbed it with his mouth. He began to pull it with all his strength as his wings immediately started fluttering. Branch craned his neck to look at his wings and frantically whispered “Hey, stop it! I’m trying to get it out! Stop! Stop!”

But his wings kept fluttering a little. Branch has no choice but to manage getting the note unstuck. But his wings flipped him over and he ended up getting himself stuck upside down on the web!

“Whoooaaa!!”

“Ooof!”

Branch shook his head to recover himself and looked around the web he is stuck in. Then he struggled to flap his wings to get himself unstuck. He grunted with extreme effort as he flapped his wings harder and harder.

But it was no use. He was completely stuck! A helpless little butterfly suspended upside down in a spiderweb all alone...

“Great!” Branch remarked sarcastically after much trying. “Now I’m stuck here! Who’s going to save me now?”

Suddenly, Poppy appeared from just right above him, fluttering upside down just like him. She said to him happily “Hey, Branch! How are you? You like being a beautiful butterfly?”

“No! It’s getting ridiculous!” he protested. “I’m now stuck upside down in a spiderweb all because of you!”

His statement caused Poppy to giggle. Branch frowned.

“Poppy, that’s not funny!” he said firmly.

“Hehehe! You are so cute, Branch!” she told him.

“Ugh, no I’m not! I hate it when people call me cute!”

“Anyway, how do you end up upside down in a spiderweb like this?!” Poppy asked while still giggling.

“No, why are you also upside down?” Branch grumbled.

“No, why are you?!” Poppy answered back, still laughing.

“Poppy, are you serious? You’re floating upside for the next whole three hours?!?!”

“Right!!!!!” she cried. “So much fun!!!!”

She went closer to Branch and twitched her antennae right next to his. As she grinned at him, he scowled and sighed with frustration.

“That’s enough, Poppy. Please get me out of this web!” he whined, sounding impatient. He just wanted to get out of the web immediately so he can show the note to Poppy. But then...

“Oh my god...”

His eyes are looking straight to Poppy, who is fluttering to the Warning! note and reading it.

“What’s this?” she asked Branch.

“Poppy, that’s a warning message!” he answered. “It came from those butterfly cupcakes we were eating just now!”

Poppy began to read the note aloud:

“Warning! May contain side-effects such as growing of insect exoskeletons and hot body spasms! Do not eat when you are told to do anyway”?

This time, for now, Poppy was beginning to understand this concern. She turned to Branch with a worried expression on her face and asked “D-did those cupcakes I bought just transform us into butterflies after we woke up?”

“Yeah, Poppy! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you just now!” Branch said. “Those cupcakes have some serious side-effects that turn us into butterflies!”

Poppy hovered still for a moment and gasped. After all, she knew something went wrong as she knew she wasn’t really dreaming. Even Branch knew about this too. But he had spent minutes trying to get Poppy to know the answer of what caused them to be butterflies.

“I think you were right about that, Branch!” she said anxiously. “What are we gonna do now?”

Branch flapped his wings again to attempt getting himself unstuck again and complained “GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!!!”

Poppy agreed. She had to get Branch out of the web or else the spider would eventually have him for dinner!

“Hold on!” she said. “I’ll get you out of here, Branch!”

Poppy whipped her hair to Branch’s and grabbed it tightly. She began to flutter backwards as she tried pulling Branch by his hair and getting him out of the web.

“Ow!” Branch winced as Poppy pulled his hair to hard.

“Sorry!” she apologized, realizing her mistake. So she pulled Branch as gently as possible. Strands of web began loosening from behind him as she finally managed to pull him out safely.

Branch flapped his wings and smiled at Poppy, who smiled back at him. He was free!

Then Branch fluttered to the left and Poppy followed behind, asking him “How did the cupcakes turn us into butterflies?”

“I don’t know why, Poppy!” he answered. “But we need to explain about this later! Right now we-”

HIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

A harsh raspy hiss echoed around the web. Poppy and Branch cowered and their antennae droop with fright. Then they heard some slurping noises from the hole on the web.

“Uh...what’s that, Branch?” Poppy asked with worry.

“I have no clue,” he said nervously, shivering. “Seems like we’ve disturbed a large predator!”

He was right. From inches behind Poppy and Branch stood a large brown-yellow spider! It looks almost twice as bigger than two tiny butterflies that came to its web and made a fuss outside!

HIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

The big hairy spider hissed angrily at Poppy and Branch and advanced towards them! They screamed and turned directly to the left, fluttering their little wings.

“Let’s get out of here!” Branch yelled. And the two of them flew away from the web and out of sight. Thankfully the spider wasn’t able to get them because they were flying so high it could not reach them! As soon as it saw its prey disappearing, it hissed with dissatisfaction and crawled back into the hole, resuming its sleep.

                                                 To Be Continued...

                                              Stay tuned for Part 4!

 Note: During the web scene, I made reference to the mermaid picture from @bunkerbash and used a bit of the description from it and changed it a little. Btw, the picture of Poppy fluttering upside down in front of a confused Branch was inspired by the picture. :D

[salty-dracon]

SAFuture- The File

Over dinner, Val tells Brid the reason he’s on the run from the Chosen Empire. But while they’re eating, they’re attacked by one of the waitresses! 

Brid and Val stood outside a restaurant.

“Chang’e?“ Brid asked, reading the sign. “The Chinese goddess of the moon?”

“Yeah.” Val motioned inside. “You said someplace you’ve never been before, right? Well, I doubt you’ve traveled far out of Naples, so... here we are.“

“I guess a tavern would be a nice place to hide in Dungeons and Dragons or something.“ She stared at the sign as Val led her inside. 

The bar was crowded, with people here and there speaking in Italian and English. A waitress walked up to Val and Brid. 

“Hi, how can I help you?“ she asked. 

Val pressed a hundred dollar bill against her palm along with three pennies. “Table for two.”

“Right this way.“ The waitress motioned to the back of the restaurant. She led them through a door, which Brid realized concealed a staircase. She led the two of them down the stairs, to the basement of the building. 

The basement was decorated like the upper floors, except with darker lights and spaced out tables. Another couple was sitting at a table far away, which Brid realized was a very old man with seven-year-old girl with a bruise on her shoulder. Brid’s eyes widened. She was about to lunge forward and draw her knife, but Val held her back. 

“No weapons, ma’am.“ The waitress obstructed her view. “This is a safe room.“

“I’m sorry.“ Brid put her knife away and sat in her chair while the waitress handed her and Val menus. She carefully lit the candle on the table, and then walked away. 

“So, we’re safe here, right?“ Brid whispered. “So... why don’t we chat for a bit. Just get our feelings out?“

“Sounds great.“ Val smiled. “You go first.“

“Well... “ Brid sighed. “Uh, when did I go missing...? About one year in Delavie, right? I told Lumi I’d be visiting an old friend. When I met him, I was excited. I mean, he’s the reason I’m still alive. He was happy to see me too, but then he asked if I could stay with him. I told him no, because I had a family, but then he- got mad. Well, not mad. He said he was disappointed. Right before I left, he knocked me out and the next thing I knew, I was in Russia. According to him, he really didn’t mean any harm- he just wanted me to understand how much he wanted to stay in my life. We started traveling, and taking hit jobs to make money.“

“That explains all the gear.“

“I think we were in Japan when I asked him to take me home. I told him that Lumi probably thought I was kidnapped, and was probably worried sick. He actually got mad that time... he called me ungrateful and selfish. That I didn’t care about him at all. We got in a huge fight, and I ended up trying to run away. He caught up to me and apologized. But he never let me contact Lumi.“

“Jesus.“

“The day you found me, I had actually botched a mission- It wasn’t on purpose. The guy had some hella instincts. He knew I was watching him. When I went in for the kill, he stabbed me in the arm. It wasn’t fatal, and I’d heal- I knew that- but I pretended that an important nerve had been torn. He took me to the hospital right away and told me they’d fix me up. When I was sufficiently deep inside the ER, I broke out and ran away. He figured it out about half an hour later, but by that time, I had already escaped through the subway to the city center.“

“Wow. And then we found each other.“

“Yeah.“

Val’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry he did that to you. I thought he... cared about you. Oh, god, I’m so sorry. If he finds you, is he gonna hurt you?“

“Maybe.“ Brid’s finger traced circles on the tablecloth.

“Shit. Hey, I’m here for you, okay?“

“Thanks.“ Brid smiled. 

The waiter returned. “May I take your orders?” she asked. 

“Uh, burger. And fries.“ Brid spit out. 

“Will that be a cheeseburger, a veggie burger-“

“Regular. No cheese.“

“Okay. You?“

“Chicken wings with barbecue sauce.” Val said. 

“What drinks?“ The waitress wrote down their choices. 

“Uh, can I get a... fruit punch?“

“Coke.“

“Coming right up.“ The waitress walked away, twirling her pencil.

“Now, it’s your turn,“ Brid said. “What’s up with you?“

“... So, I stayed in SECRET, as you well know, but I changed my base of operations to France. While I was there, my assignment was to investigate underground organizations. Over the past year, this one name kept popping up- Empress Genetika. I compiled all my information on her and created a profile. Basically, she was responsible for a string of monster attacks in France and Portugal before moving on to Germany. Anyway, after some difficult calculations and inferences, not to mention more information collecting, I managed to find her base of operations.“

“And?“

“It’s moved since, probably. I think the entire thing’s an airship. Either way, I snuck in... and, I’m telling you, it’s... unbelievable the kind of stuff she has going on.“

“The kind of thing you can’t stop alone?“

“Not just me. I doubt all of SECRET could stop the army she’s brewing.“

“An army?“

“Picture this, Brid. Lizard monsters. One thousand seven foot tall lizard monsters. Impenetrable armor. Crawling on walls. Tearing everything apart with giant teeth. Resistant to explosions, bullets, sniper rifles... literal human tanks.“

“I’m sure they’re not infallible-“

“No. One thousand is a small number. What if I told you she had the means to create more? What if I told you she did? And not just lizards. Spiders, birds, frogs, bears, cats... “

“How big is this army?“

“Right now, it’s only about five thousand strong. But those five thousand aren’t normal people. They’re superhuman. Those lizard monsters alone could defeat anything out there.“

“...Yikes...“

“Not only that, but some of her modifications look human. They can transform themselves, but when they’re not, they can pass for ordinary people. The only thing that would give them away would be a DNA test. They’re mostly ordinary looking people, but given the nature of this army, I wouldn’t be surprised if some national politicians fit the bill.“

“Oh my god... Empress Genetika, huh?“

“Of the Chosen Empire. Given the rumors, it’s not unlikely that she’s raising a larger scale army and looking to start a war. But that’s not all.“ Val reached for his briefcase. He opened it up carefully and pulled something out. 

“A... hard drive?“ Brid raised one eyebrow. 

“A very special hard drive. Now tell me what you see.“

“It’s... off?”

“Look closer, dammit.“

“Okay. Well, I don’t see any brand name... “ Brid lifted the drive up and rotated it in her hands. Her eyes spotted a strange hole on the outside. “What is that?“ She looked closer. “A needle? And... bloodstains... is this a DNA analyzer?“

“This hard drive’s information can only be accessed if the user inputs a matching DNA sample. And this one matches Genetika herself. And only Genetika.“

“Whatever’s on here can only be accessed by someone with the highest level of clearance possible, then. It could bring down the empire.“

“I’ve already written down the encryption key. All I’d need to access this would be a sample of Genetika’s blood... which I also happen to have.“ Val reached into his briefcase again and pulled out a small pill bottle-sized container. “Her finger.“

“You cut off her finger?!“

“Yep. I think she’s regenerated the whole thing by now, but I have her finger. Which, once thawed, will allow me to access the drive.“

“Then that’s why you’re on the run. They know you stole the drive and have the ability to access it with that finger. You could lay waste to their plots in no time at all.“

“Yup.“ Val nodded. “That was about a year ago. I’ve been on the run ever since. And then I found you, and here we are.“

“Some luck, huh?“

“Yeah.” Val smiled. “I can trust you, right?“

“Yeah. You can trust me. So, where are you headed?“

“Well, I listened around in the Empire for a bit. Genetika’s next target is somewhere in America. So, I’ll be heading home for a bit. You?“

“I’m going home to Lumi.“

“I looked into it, actually. Couple weeks ago. You know she still remembers you? She even celebrates your birthday. And then cries a lot. But yeah. She’ll be happy to see you home. I think.“

“That’s encouraging... “ Brid sighed and stared at the staircase. “Where’s the food?”

“Oh yeah, where is the food? We didn’t order too much, did we?“

“I’ll go ask-“ Brid was about to stand up when she heard the door open. A blonde waitress walked down the stairs, holding a tray in her hand with a burger and a tray of chicken wings on top. 

“Here’s your meal.“ She placed the tray in front of the two of them. “A burger and chicken wings. Enjoy.“

“Uh, can I have buffalo sauce-“ Val raised his hand as the woman walked away.

“Of course.“ The woman nodded. 

Brid sighed. “I wanted fruit punch. I’m thirsty.“

“Yeah, that is weird.“ Val stared at his wings. “They usually serve the drinks alongside the food. Hold on, I’ll ask someone.“

The staircase door opened again and the same blonde waitress walked down. 

“Hey, ma’am?“ Val asked. “Where are our drinks?“

“Drinks?“ The woman looked confused. “Oh, right, water. I’ll be right back-“

“I wanted punch.“

“Punch, right.“

“Extra large coke.“ Val said. “Get her a medium.“

“Got it.“ The woman nodded and ran back upstairs. 

“What happened to our original waitress, anyway?“ Val asked Brid. 

“She must be new. Cut her some slack.“

“Dude, even she can see that all the glasses are the same size.“ Val motioned to the two people at the other table. Although one of them was much younger than the other, they had equal sized glasses. 

“Maybe she’s trying not to be awkward.“

The waitress ran back downstairs with a wine glass filled with fruit punch and a regular glass filled with Coke. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.“ Brid examined the wine glass. Meanwhile, Val was staring at the waitress. 

“I’ll be upstairs if you need anything.“ The waitress began to slowly walk away. Meanwhile, Brid wiped a drop of the red liquid off the glass and licked it off her finger. She made a confused face and stared at the waitress. 

“Yeah, she doesn’t work here, does she?“ Val whispered. 

“Val, this glass... “ Brid held her finger up. It was stained with a deep red liquid. “It has blood on it.“

“RIP waitress.“ Val stood up and pulled his shock baton out of his pocket. He quietly approached the woman. As he was about to pin her to the wall, she turned around. 

“Who the hell are you?!“ he asked. He glanced down at her hands. “Blood on your fingertips. Deep inside your ridges. Scars on the back of your feet.” He rubbed his hand against her cheek. “Unusually rough skin, for a human.“

“Stop... ” The woman shoved him away. 

Behind her, Brid heard movement. A red hand was floating in midair and reaching for the briefcase! She pulled out her gun and began firing. Blood splashed everywhere as the bullets pierced its body. A few seconds later, its full form appeared- a humanoid chameleon, now dead. 

“One of Genetika’s lackeys, huh?“ Val growled. “Safe room, my ass!”

 Brid grabbed the briefcase and held it close to her chest. “We know what you’re after.“

“I expected as much.“ With one bound, the woman sprung clear over Val and across the room. She pointed a submachine gun at Brid and started firing at her. Brid whipped her wings out in defense. Val pulled a pulse pistol out of his pocket and started firing at the waitress, who dodged again. When the waitress began firing at him, Val ducked behind the stairs.

Brid pulled out her weapon and watched it transform into an axe. Still shielding herself, she bounded towards the woman and attempted to slash her. With one well-timed jump, the woman dodged out of range. 

“Frog?“ Val asked. 

“No.“ Brid motioned to her feet, which were covered in yellow fur with black spots. “Cat. My guess is cheetah or serval.“

“She’s smart, I’ll give her that.“ The waitress ran forward, baring cat claws where her fingernails once were. She slashed at Brid, who fought her back with the axe. 

Val’s eyes glowed blue as he watched them fight. He jumped on the wall and ran along the ceiling, looking for an opening. 

“Catch!“ Brid tossed her pistol into the air as the waitress sank her claws into Brid’s wrists. Brid cried out in pain and knocked her away. One bullet to the heart from Val, and she was dead. 

“You okay?“ Val asked, hopping down onto the floor and returning Brid’s pistol to her. 

“Fine.“ Brid wiped the blood from her gloves. “Some safe room this is.”

“So... should I leave a tip, or... “

“She’s dead, man.“

“No, I mean for our other waitress.“

“She’s dead too.“

“...Right.“

“Well, if she found us here, it means the Empire’s onto us. We need to get out of here ASAP.“

“Right.“ Val nodded. “Come on.“ He ran up the steps, carrying the briefcase with him. Brid turned to the other pair in the group, and shot the old man, before escaping. 

[zefurrwrites-blog]

Commission - Man’s Best Flying Friend

Dogs are cool and all but birds are where its at: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25141850/

-----

“Ooo dude, look at this one. This one is blue and yellow. And oh that’s a great green one” a young man excitedly said to his friend. He was ogling pictures of birds online. “Why are we looking up birds on the internet Scott?” his friend answered. “Because Travis, I will soon be living on my own. I am finally an honest and true adult who can make their own decisions. I go to bed when I want, I can leave the toilet seat up, but most importantly, I can get a pet.” “Scott you already slept whenever you wanted and you DID leave the toilet seat up. More than once” Travis recalled annoyed. His friend at least had the decency to look faux ashamed. “Sorry about not warning you there haha” he laughed remembering. “All I heard was a loud sploosh and your yelling and then-” he said stopping at his friend’s glare. “Aheh right, so birds, love em, gonna get one of these bad boys” Scott said trying to change the subject. “When are you moving into your new place anyway?” Travis asked getting up from the living room sofa. He headed to the pantry pulling out a box of cookies. “Next week and I can wait!” his friend said pumping his fist into the air. “Don’t get me wrong I love ya but a man needs his own space.” Travis laughed rejoining him in the living room. “Yeah, I gathered.” “Hey, you wanna come with me to the pet store when I go pick one up?” he asked. “Sure, when?” Scott scrolled through his phone looking at the move in schedule. “Uhhh, I think my tv and stuff get there around noon, so anything after 1 next Tuesday okay?” “Yeah no problem.” Travis replied eating another cookie.

The following week Travis showed up to Scott’s new place. He was there early to get able to see the house before they headed to the mall. The outside of the townhouse was pretty impressive. Lawn was freshly cut, bushes and surrounding plants full of life, even the neighbors seemed cool. Scott answered the door practically beaming in excitement. “Please, enter my humble abode” he said bowing and stepping back. Travis rolled his eyes walking in. Taking a look around the place Travis had to admit, his friend did a good job decorating the house. Framed movie posters plastered the living wall surrounding the homemade entertainment system. Scott’s decent sized flat screen fitting snug between the two speakers. “Movie nights are officially at your house now” Travis looking around the house more. Scott laughed showing him the rest of the house. It wasn’t a long tour with the place only being two levels. “It’s small but cozy. Totally perfect for me and my soon to be ‘new’ buddy” he said nudging Travis with his elbow. Travis raised a confused eyebrow before checking the time on his phone. “Speaking of which we should get a move on” he told his friend. He grabbed his keys off the coffee table. “Yeah no problem. Let me just grab my jacket and wallet” Scott said running upstairs to the bedroom. When he came back down he had his coat on and carried two water bottles with him. “Hydrate up dude” he said tossing one to Travis. He fumbled it not expecting the sudden pass. “Oh yeah, it is pretty hot out today, thanks.” Travis unscrewed the cap and took a long swig of the water. Scott giddily watched expectantly drinking his own water.

The drive to the mall didn’t take long with where Scott was living now. The pet store was on the first floor but almost near the back. The place, unlike other stores at the mall, was enclosed like an actual store. Scott explained the reasoning being something about the noise level of the rowdier animals. Travis only nodded along. Puppies could be seen from the glass window pane pawing at the glass and pouncing on one another. Onlookers gushed over the young canines and their antics. The inside of the store was much more expansive. Pet supplies, food and toys lie on shelves all around. The sounds of various animal calls could be heard throughout the store. A couple of bunnies in a glass tank wrinkled their noses at the newcomers while some hamsters popped up from the bedding in their playground. “D’aww, look at the puppies” Scott said going over to enclosure there. He picked up one of the pups and cuddled it close. The puppy licked his face and poked his cheek with a paw. “I thought we were here for birds not dogs” Travis said raising an amused brow. “Touche my good man. But no one on earth can resist an opportunity to cuddle a puppy” Scott said carefully placing the pup back in the pin. Travis trailed his friend as he led him further towards the back of the store. Soon, the bird section came into view. All sorts of birds could be seen from the different cages. Some lovebirds were playing a friendly game of tug-of-war with a squeaky toy. A cockatiel was grooming itself with its beak. Some parakeets were playing hide and seek in a multi window bird house. But Scott had his eye on one species in particular. Thinking of earlier, he smiled knowing he’ll have the perfect one very soon. “Hi, can I help you?” a woman’s voice came from behind them. She was wearing a simple shirt with jeans and an apron. A nametag reading Julie lie on the left breast pocket. “Hey Julie” Scott said coming from behind his friend. “I’m here about earlier. I think it’s around that time” he told her. Travis look at his friend confused. But he found it harder to retain attention on one thing since coming to the mall. It was like his mind wanted to be in a bunch of different places at once. Julie smiled knowingly. “Sure thing Scott. Follow me to the back” she said moving past them to the steel door down the aisle. Travis thought it weird but went along with it following his friend and Julie to the back room. Beyond the door was a medium sized room with a concrete floor and a couch. A table with an elegant looking white bird cage sat on it. “So where’s the bird?” Travis asked once again confused. He picked a stray feather from his hand surprised at the slight sting he felt. His mind darted around the door taking it in. He has a strange passing thought of how fun it would be to fly around it. “Hm? Oh, right. Julie here is gonna get it, meanwhile we can sit here and relax” Scott answered taking a seat on the couch. “Be back in a flash” she said leaving them in the room. A resounding click could be heard. “Did she jus-” Travis began before clutching his throat. He felt tongue tied as if he was swallowing it. His lips throbbed in pain as well. “Ah, so it’s starting with your beak. Interesting” Scott nonchalantly commented. “Wha……tartin?” Travis tried forcing out. As the throbbing in his lips continued, they puckered up slightly and darkened in color. “Oh, I guess I did purposely leave that out. Well I didn’t lie. I did come here for a new pet bird. It just happens to turn out that it’s YOU buddy” Scott said grinning. Travis’ eyes went wide in shock. “ow..ven…ssible” Travis tried emitting as his vocal cords rearranged. “How is it possible?” he repeated faux comprehending. “Well, Julie there is a witch specializing in transformation magic. What luck right? I’d say about half the animals here are some unfortunate souls” he said laughing. “Tur….me..ba-AK” Travis said in a panicked squawk. “Sorry buddy no can do, but maybe if you ask nicely, Julie will haha.” Travis started to lunge for him friend before looking down at alien hands. His fingers lost their nails and started growing the same feathers like the one he plucked off himself earlier. They snaked their way along the tops of his fingers. Vibrant, green feathers also started blossoming around his neck and arms. He was so enraptured in shock he hadn’t noticed Scott helping him out of his clothes. “You won’t be needing these soon anyway” he said folding up his shirt and shorts. He simply tossed the old sneakers next to the couch. Travis was left in his underwear where the same colored feathers stretched down to his legs before stopping just above his ankles. Scale-like patterns formed along the tops of Travis’ feet as he tried desperately to pluck himself free of the growing feathers on his arms. They just kept growing in more rapidly now forming a dense coating of green. His pinky toes throbbed and Travis stopped his plucking to look down at them fusing into his other toes. He felt a slight pain as his outside toes deformed and curled outward. The nails darkened and grew out much longer and curled before stopping. His feet had turned into the perfect talons for gripping food and cages. Red feathers grew out along his elongating forehead with white specks surrounding the top of his forming beak. His puckered lips grew out as well with his face. His top lip becoming more prominent than the bottom and curved downwards. Travis felt a headache forming as he rapidly blinked his shrinking eyes. With every blink, his field of vision changed. He found his peripheral vision improving greatly but lacking much else. Travis’ hearing also increased. He could hear the leaky pipes of the barren room and Scott’s amused chuckles. “This is even better than I thought” he laughed. Travis glared at his friend until the muscles in his new eyes prevented him from doing so anymore. The green feathers covering Travis’ body started to change color in certain places. The tips of his new hands, now ends of his growing wings, brightened into a sky blue color. Below the tips of his former palms the feathers lightened in a brilliant yellow. Travis crouched over himself baring his tailbone which was steadily growing out. The assortment of colored feather snaking up the length until it too, was covered in a bouquet of color. Travis now looked like he was wearing the most realistic macaw costume. “This is the best part” Scott piped up. Scott looked up at his friend confused. Who was this man? The face was familiar but his changing mind couldn’t place a name to it. Scott started growing much larger before him. The man seeming giant to him in a matter of moments. The underwear he was wearing now nearly suffocating him. “I made sure you didn’t feel any pain once the shrinking part happened” Scott said coming over to the confused military macaw. He scooped up the animal out from the discarded clothing in his hands and pet the bird soothingly. Travis was confused and scared before calming before the steady pattern of pets he received from the nice man. The nice man walked over to the white cage and opened the door before depositing Travis on a comfy perch. The new macaw nearly lost his footing trying to keep balance. Panicked flapping of brightly colored wings sent feathers falling to the ground. Travis got his footing after a while and crawled across the ledge back and forth pleased with his efforts. “Good boy!” the nice man told him. “Good boy!” Travis mimicked. Scott laughed giving Travis a cracker who gladly accepting. He used his new taloned feet to break off a piece and feed it up to his mouth. A click could be heard from the door making Scott turn his head towards it. “Everything okay in here?” Julie said popping her head in. Scott smiled. “Yep, we’re all good here. By the way, I am one satisfied customer” he said poking a finger through the bars of the cage. Julie smiled. “Thank you for shopping at Julie’s Pet Boutique!” she said clapping her hands together. END

--------- If you like my work consider buying me a ko-fi http://www.ko-fi.com/zefurr   FA: http://furaffinity.net/user/zefurr & http://furaffinity.net/user/zephyr10101

[patatinolovenotes]

love notes #Part2

1/2/2017  

Y: Btw did you accidentally said I love you but then realized it when you were hanging up and start mumbling 😂😂😂 or is just “I’ll call you later” with bad reception that’s all 😂😂

P: I said that

P: But in English is shit

P:I prefer it in Italian or Chinese

Y: Hahaha you were cute I was laughing

P: Stellina Mia sleep tight

1/6/17

P: Buona notte stellina

P: Ti bacio sempre P:I’ll fall asleep with your song patata Mia.. It’s now -9 left before my departure. I feel I could fly there with my own wings. Night out was cool but way too cold and now I would need you to transform myself into  chimney. I miss you on my skin❤ bacio 

1/8/17

P: You can’t imagine how much I wish you were here now..I can’t live those next days that are still dividing us. I would give everything to see you sleeping and sneak under the blanket with you, slowly waking you up whispering and kiss you gently, kiss your wet lips and eat pussy. It’s crazy how much the evening make me homesick of you. Amore mio.

1/9/17

P: I’m safe and sound home in my bed! It’s better to sleep in a bed where I know we slept together before; it’s anyway a step closer to you. Notte baby❤🐽

1/12/17

Y‬: Amore I had such a lovely date with Jennifer, we talked so much and it’s great that she is the only few friends that we really grow alike,  in terms of mentality about life. And it made me really happy 😚 we talked about life and love and it’s just great! Made me love life a bit more today

1/13/17

PBuona notte amore🐽🐽🥔 your voice would take me anywhere! I wish I was already there being in the night with you. Ti bacio🐒❤

1/15/17

P: Ti voglio baby

Sleep tight🐽🐽🐽🐽

1/16/17

P: ✈️✈️✈️✈️🛫 its official Today🤘🏽🐣

1/25/17,

P: I’m boarding actually already, I send you all my love lady. You are in my thoughts and heart. Text from plane or later🐒🍆❤👅stay safe on the bus.

Y:  Safe flight amore text me later x And glad you are picking up the good habit of getting things done earlier As in boarding and arriving to the airport early 😝 Loads of kisses x See you super duper soon

P: I love your nose Y, eye and sweet voice. I love the way you walk and the perfect decency of your gentle movements. I love everything you do to make me happy and what you say but what I love the most is your spirit, your transcendent, fiery thoughts, your ardent will, your high calling. I believe my soul is naturally attracted to your spirit. To define my love would be limiting it, so I won’t try. For what it’s worth I want to thanks you once again for the amazing time you gifted me in T. I had delicious food, happy company, wonderful sex, everything desirable by any being. I wish all the best to you my love, to the one who never fails to see the brightside in everything, to the one that make my time worth leaving. I’m so grateful to have you in my life and the joy you bring to mine every time we are together. I love everything about you so much, patata mia! Have a beautiful, wonderful week before leaving to your next exciting chapter. I hope you’ll meet kind people who have different, interesting points of view about life. Finally you are free, without regrets, holding dreams high, because you are able of achieving anything you want. Remember to be whoever you want to be anytime. There is no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you’ll always make the best of it. I hope we will see together more things that startle us. I hope you felt, like me,  emotions you never felt before. I hope you’ll always live a life you are proud of, and if you’ll ever be not I’m sure you’ll have the courage to start all over agin. Ill be always here to help and support, if you wish. We’ll have the rest of our precious time alive to ketch-up. Never forget me, never grow up for me, ok? I miss you dearly already. I’ll see you soon on our new adventure. With all my heart, your biggest admirer, me P. Ti bacio amore. Wo oi ni. P: Yes I had some time to write… read it later with calm before sleep. Enjoy second dinner patata Y: My love, coming back to this empty room with no clothes left on the floor is a bit sad and empty. I am now lying in the bed and wearing your tshirt. They both still have small smells of sweat and sex that makes me feel as if you are still here. Oh geez, the first night in this bed without is going to be tough, my eyes are bursting into tears once more, and I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable when I cried a tiny bit. You made me so happy and emotional in a good way, and I honestly forgot what sadness is until realizing you will be gone. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, and yes I feel something different when I’m with you. Time freezes and my eyes are only on you. I can’t wait to see you soon. I truly wish we will be back again real soon. All the moments wth you feel like a dream. A magical dream. You are beautiful with your soul and kind heart. Have the best time of your life in the new uni I can’t wait to visit you again in ___! And can’t wait until the next time we hold each other tight again, with unlimited dreams we could talk about. Puppies, travel, life and all the knowledgeable things you have taught me. I’m also your admirer. You are the model of having a life that’s free, kind and smart. And I wish to become more like you and also have a bit of more brain like you when doing things. I want to learn more from you and see the worlds through your heart and lens. Until soon we meet again, amore mio.

1/26/17

P: My package is not as fancy and original as yours, very practical and just a little thing to spoilt the princess 🐽 for new adventure Anyway I need to have a date in mind of a plane for when I’ll see you again otherwise I don’t feel comfortable ahah🐒 I hope at least I’m gonna pass out as soon as I’m N tonight

Y: 😳 baby you always spoil me, and I love practical stuff!! I can’t wait And yes, I’m already wondering on the dates to see you soon again.

1/28/17

P: Buona notte patata mia❤🐽 I’ll let you know how it goes for __ I planned the joke perfectly with ___ and yeah maybe I’ll have the candy, depends on how the evening goes..🤙 sleep tight lady, ti bacio tanto🐒 Y: Ciao baby good morning from the other side of the world. I hope you guys have a wonderful night. Ti voglio 👅❤

1/30/17 

P: Buona notte pata mia❤ I still have a lot to do tomorrow morning but should be fine. I hope you’ll sleep tight and nothing bad of any sort will disturb little endemic koala from Taipei 🐨! Wish those 44 days could fly away

1/30/17

P: Amore mio you literally made my day with “ready for pompino since 1998” you are super super cute in that picture ahahah little patatina🐽🐽 but who cares baby don’t worry just put them without the box, just the blaster in the shipped suitcase!

1/30/17 

P: I miss you soo sooo much right now when the day finishes I won’t just to be with you🐨 I have finished dinner with a huge carbonara pasta and all work now so I’ll just chill tonight and have some food coma in bed now

I wish you the very best luck for your visit and don’t be scared baby, it’s all good, don’t be shy and explain everything to the gyno 🐒 Ti penso tanto stellina, always in my mind🐽🐽👅

1/31/17

P: Amore I hate to hear your voice.. it feels like you are here wispering in my ears but I can’t touch you and kiss you Y: 😞 I know I know dreaming about you since forever especially today P: My little sweetheart is sick and I just wanna go and buy breakfast with croissant and fresh orange juice and some easy light lunch P: I would be your personal diet guy to recover better amore Y: Buy “breakfast” 🐶? Or buy breakfast 🍳?

2/2/17 

P: I’m fresh like a flower but tired like a sloth🐒 I think of you all the time dear dumpling because you’re so special to my heart. Tomorrow is your last day and I m sure you packed every little thing super ready to beat the custom with some illegal medicine blasters! Ahaha And yes I finally managed to watch black sails and jeeez the episode stars with the huge battle they prepared for three season .. it’s crazy! I wish you a amazing final brunch and I suggest you to eat like a pig before leaving🐽is your mum ready to see you leaving again?

P: Sleep tight, I miss you so much patata mia. Ti bacio👅🐒

Y: Good morning my sunshine, i woke up super early this morning because I was SO hungry … just like the time I took a nap at yours and woke up from it because I was hungry… 😵 Y: Baby I wanted to tell you on the phone how I realized I am spoiled by you, having you to spare me the time and energy to care for me. Sometimes I’m not good with words, and it truly takes time for me to figure out what I really feel in order to convey my true self. I hope you don’t mind I type it instead of saying it.. anyhow, I thank the universe for bringing you into my life. The thoughts of you as an individual in my life, I feel wonderful and happy for each day ahead. Simply your existence brings happiness to me. Of course there bring some worries that I never had for anyone so strong beside my family. Because I want the people I care to be happy and harmless but any obstacles they encounter. The ideas of even someone hurting you, your dream, reality or yourself, sadness me.

2/4/17 

Y:Can’t wait for a proper skype sesh soon. Ti voglio ❤ P: Amore you melt me with that… I’m so happy thanks to your beauty, kindness and high thoughts

2/5/17

P: You are for me a source of inspiration, happiness. When I’m with you my life it’s simply better, much more intense and truly aspiring at something more, different. I believe the feelings we share now are a precious gift, a rare opportunity. As you mention, you conquered a bit of my heart as well therefore I’ll be always hoping the best for you, as much as for a sister but  even more avidly since you are lover I can perceive in your fiery and strength in the jottings of your diary. Keep always those writings because one day they might be very valuable for you, like a personal Sputnik romance self edited . I wish I was there that cold and detached night . I wish I was there now, in your bed hugging you before the big day I’m sure you have such an exciting time of your life just ahead . I’ll be there for you if you wish holding you tight because life through your love feels just 10 times better Good luck my love for such a turning point in your life which anyway doesn’t change your dreams and who you are. Have a good one and text me when you can.❤🐽🐽🐽🐒 Ti voglio stellina mia. Un bacio🥔👅 Stay strong

2/12/17 

P: Sometimes life gives you those unpredictable events which make every day worth living, hoping, waiting. You are a beautiful gift. You are always in my thoughts and  I just can’t get my mind off. Hope you’re sleeping well cause today it’s the big day, right? No worries at all amore mio you’ll do more than fine there. People will appreciate my little patata!! Buona notte tesoro❤🐽🐽🐽

Y: Ciao patata, stellino mio ❤ I’m at the office now, apparently we got amazing breakfast served here, like proper human food, so I guess I can wake up later and have good food

2/13/17 

Y: Good night my love, i wish for more happiness, love, and sex to come. And may all the misunderstanding, miscommunication, and small arguments to not become burden between us. No walls may become our barriers. Wishing only those three elements of life that I praise the most could surround us to be happier than we could have ever imagine. I do not wish for you to get hurt, and want everything to be perfect. May young love be imprinted in our hearts. Buona notte, my stellino.💫🌈🦄💓💜💙🙈

P: Amore you are always able to warm up my heart writing such beautiful thoughts. I’m thrilled about us, and what’s coming for us. I want to keep living through this love. To the best my love, for us. Sleep tight patata mia. 🐽🐽❤🐒rock tomorrow 🐨

2/14/17 

P: Tonight you gave me some lessons about love. I wish I could feel for my entire life inspired by a dream of love such as the one you are making me feel tonight. The love I feel for you it’s the same every day, since a while. I cant stop watching the video and think how beautiful you are. How you make me happy with your unpredictable beauty. Don’t stop. You are my happiness everyday and I really cant wait to fagocitate you in Instambul. I have no more words to explain how enjoyable you, my love, make my life every single day . You are special and you make me feel special. I hope you feel beloved as much as I feel lucky those days. You have conquered my heart. I’ll always keep this video very tight for any moment of difficulties this would be the source of my strength, the source to find energy to any problem, because if you love and you’re loved… the world out there can never be bad nor scary. Lots of kisses to my princess which I cant wait to fuck like a…and I let you finish our saying.

Good night patata, always yours, P.

ps: happy san valentines

P: I just watched the video again amore..❤ I’ll try my best to protect our fresh dream of love in ecstasy for us. 🐽🐽🐽buona notte stellina . Ti bacio

2/15/17 

P: I miss you every moment. My mind, soul and mouth is full of you. I would always recall you in any situation dreaming you were there with me. What I feel for you it’s something I’m very proud of. I want to have sex with you so badly, and touch your hairs again.

Wish tonight we were together her in N red light room or anywhere else but together . Sweet dreams my love. Good luck with presentation tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll rock ..smoothly hitting first week target. Ti penso

2/17/17 

P: There are some people in this world who you can just miss, miss and miss no matter what. I can’t get enough of you. Buona notte golden mouth 👄. Tomorrow I walk up kind of early and leave to fine some powder

2/18/17

Y: Amore I was just looking through some old photos, and nostalgic feels came upon. I really miss the chillax life, meeting different people from everywhere, go to techno clubs, seeing dirty graffitis, people drinking and having appetizers or tapas, doing drugs, or smoke up.

That feeling, so strong!!!🦄💓🌈

I don’t think I can live like this for long. Being in a desert and malls and commercial clubs 🐷🦅👉🏽😵

P: No worries amore, it’s just a transitional period that will open you many locked doors, you are always welcome in my place wherever I’ll be: food, weed, and a bed.. if you wish sex as well are provided. I can’t offer more now, but you’ll always be welcome

I can understand your feeling and I wish you can achieve to do what makes you feel the best, I’ll help if I can

I miss you sooo much chica mia❤

P: Come and eat tapas with me, sex, reading, working, nature, travelling and everything all over again in the order you prefer

Live life with me

Y: How it would be my dream

I feel like I can have so many personalities and lifestyles, but it always comedown to being just a kinda hipster wannabe girl, living in downtown manhattan, Berlin, east London, or the sunshine barca 😂 And being in D makes me really missing the life of having choices of living some days as a professional, somedays as an arty girl and some days as a druggie. Growing up sucks 🙈😵

2/20/17

P:I wish you dream about one of our adventures because I really hope that will happen to me. I miss my patata every day, any time. Goodnight my love, be strong tomorrow at work❤🐒🐽

Y: Amore I’m going to bed now. I’m grateful again for having you in my life. You sparkle the dullness of my life. Making everything shine with glitter. And I’m the unicorn that loves  strawberry ice cream. I’m so lucky to have you ❤🌈  I give you all my kisses and hugs and love 💓

🍓

2/21/17 

Y: Ahh baby every time when I think of you I get all excited heart bumping and all…. but also your existence in my mind soothe my soul… Amazing Buona notte my patata

2/22/17 

Y: Amor mio, amor mio I miss  every little thing about you on, inside me

P: Thank a lot for being that strong to keep this relationship so tight I couldn’t make it without you supporting me I misss you deep inside me. Buona notte, ti bacio

2/25/17

P: Patata I could spend my life in this sweet surrender with you. And just stay here lost in this moment forever. Truly missing you here in the alps, I hope the the desert is your dear friend darling.  I dream about our meeting in Istanbul, as always will feel unreal, too paradisiac to be real I wanna see you soon amore mio, ti bacio cucciola mia.🐽❤🐒

2/26/17

Y: My love, I would say that you wouldn’t understand how sad I am to be away from you and how my heart always aches when i remember you are not physically here with me. But I somehow still thinks you do understand how that feels and maybe feel something similar as I do. I often think and back and forth about us and what a magical being you are. I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you. You are so beautiful inside, out. And I have never feel more comfortable to say it out loud how amazing about a guy before, and with you I don’t even hold myself back a second to stop and praise your beauty. Do you remember that dreamy feeling we had when we were in T? Sometimes I even think everything is a dream, that if one day I woke up everything never existed, and the thought of it breaks my heart… I just want to tell you how grateful I am to have you. And wish a bright future for us, individually and a pair as partners in crime .. 🦄😈❤ Have an amazing night! Un bacione, cucciolo mio ❤

P: Amore mio, I can’t live without you.. because love is your religion and your practice kindness. I couldn’t ask for a better attitude towards life. I feel so special next to you and I hope you I make you feel special in the same lovely way. I can’t ask for better and you made one of the most crazy moment of my life .. one of the best. I always think our fairytale can’t be completely true, that’s why a Mis believer like men need Istambul to touch your reality. You’ll always have in me a brother, a friend, a lover a huge admirer for the beauty you express with your existence. Do not ever stop your self in telling me something, good or bad, whatever I want us to be fully transparent . I miss you deeply.. We are drinking now and actually in the end we moved everything to geneve, I’ll let you know how stuff goes here. Hope you’re having sweet dreams about puppies licking your face while I give you an amazing pussy pompino, let’s keep our dream in paradise. Un bacio patatozzz mia❤🐽🐒

2/27/17

Y: Have a lovely dream, un bacione to 17days left x

P: Is it more fair to love carnally and get separate at some point or to love someone’s soul and cherish time forever after?The answer fluctuates in the dust of the desert.. but I believe with you somehow the two elements glued up together giving me a sweet aftertaste of chaotic love every moment. Good night patatoz🐽❤🐒 un bacio

Y: Your words swept my feet this morning. I read it while half asleep and closed my eyes to imagine yours and ours existence all together. It’s beautiful. I wish you have a beautiful day to start this week 🍑🍓 love you dearly

2/28/17

P: Amore mio, I must say I usually don’t like science fiction movies but this one has a great story and I loved it. Apparently every single thing you touch, see, smell its gold to my eyes and trough your being I fell in love with everything❤🐒 don’t stop me loving life that much. Un bacio patata, have a great morning🐽🐽

3/2/17

Y: I miss you dearly🌸 thank you for being such a wonderful being in my life. Your wisdom of life always draws my whole attention, and I think about you always and every second. This feeling is amazing. Un bacione, my soccer ⚽️boy.

P: Buona notte amore mio. You are my source of energy and happiness every day. Let’s nurture our souls with this amazing bubble of love we managed to create. I love that feeling as well. I hope your dreaming of corto and bocca d'orata and wish a wonderful day tomorrow for my miracle worker Y❤🐽🐒

3/3/17

P: You didn’t ruin my mood at all, I need to understand that sometimes I can’t make you happy just because of the distance and it’s no Ines fault. Sorry if I wanted to push your mood, sadness sometimes is a noble sentiment. My fault last night in pushing you

3/4/17

P: I want to see you very soon my patata 🐒❤

I hope to find of you later in my dream during this night of sleep

Ti bacio🐽🐽

3/5/17

Y: Dear my love, every time when we talk I feel like I’m more attracted to you then before. You always seem to amaze. How extraordinary is this! Thank you for always teaching me how to dream, you are so beautiful like this. Maybe one day soon enough we would be physically close enough. And I can’t wait for that day to come。Coming home after a long day, seeing each other. We can cook dinner or sometimes we can be lazy and order food. Watch a movie or read a book whilst having some tea. Snuggle and sex and then snuggle again before bed. Waking up next to each other and kissing one another till one of us wakes up. Good night my love, I wish tonight I can have a dream like we wished. Un bacione my masterpiece of life

P: I want to explore your soul just as much I wanna discover the beauty of the world out there. Why not exploring both at the same time and together? Pushing our limits, helping each other to reach the edge, dreaming, living fast and taking care of the other with that amount of fresh sweetness? I hope we can leave this dream forever . I miss you from the bottom of my heart to the very top of my skin. You are the soul I’ve been waiting quite long for. Un bacio patata mia❤🐽  I wish you an amazing start of the week,.. can’t wait.. to see ya in the baccckkakkaakkalava country🐒

3/7/17

P: My love, my pussy patata I hope you’re sleeping like an angel and dreaming strawberry 🍓 ’s field. I send you all my love🐽🐽🐽yours dumb, broke young P. Miss you deeply

Y: Ok good night amore ❤ now I’m the one whose excited!! Can’t believe klock is coming, I really wish I can find some one to go with me then. If not…. I’ll wear my cap and go there myself 🙈

But anyways, amore can’t wait to see you next week! Super soon, for me this week is almost the end. And I’m sure next week it will be fast too. Buona notte amore mio, I give you the best of luck for midterm tomorrow. Kisses from boca dorata 👄🌙

3/8/17

P: Baby go even alone but I’m sure you’ll manage to find some nice people to go with.. and even if, the atmosphere it’s going to be cool anyway, ergo worth going.

My potato with the cap can conquer the entire world I’m confident ❤🐽 buona notte amore mio, I can’t believe, I can’t even imagine touching you🐒

3/9/17

P: Amore mio I’m in bed and I miss you dearly. Living with you in Taipei was simply amazing and I miss it right now; the smell of the bodies, the sweet crunchy strawberry 🍓 and you sweetest thing🐒❤ buona notte bocca d'orata

Y: Ciao amore mio ❤ good morning! I miss you too, I can’t wait to see you in 7 days, where all of our senses can rejuvenate to our love once again. Un bacione my dearest. And have a wonderful wonderful day!

3/10/17

Y: Dear my love, I never thought that i would fall into tears for missing someone so much.  I realized that sometimes people do love too much, more than they could handle. But it’s this bittersweetness that made me realize how strong you are and how much I want to be better for you and with you. I never liked to face crisis or difficult timings with others, because I feel like it’s the most fragile phase that I would ever reveal to people about myself. So I would rather go into my little world and deal things in my own way, that is for example today I spent the whole day looking for alternative ways for us to see each other, just to make myself feel better. And it’s stupid, because it’s selfish of me to think that I’m the only one who is upset, because I’m sure you are too. But anyhow, I just wanted to tell you, thank you for being so strong, for me, you are perfect. There’s nothing I want to change about you. Sometimes I feel like we live in a parallel world of murakamis creation. when we are together, i don’t notice anything around us. It’s a whole new world dimension. And when we are apart, it feels that our souls are so close yet so far. For me, this love is so strong that I have never felt this way before, and it truly frightens me from time to time. But then again, thank you for everything and for being a part of my life and a part of me..❤

P: Trust me amore, that I would like to cry my sadness out as well for not being next to you. It’s just another way of reacting to the same feeling.. I don’t cry.. but I share the same pain, the same fear of loosing you because of distance. I’m terrified at the thought of loosing you and being in this grey world without my one and only source of colour, energy, sunshine.

I’m not perfect and you’ll discover that very soon but I hope you’ll accept the full package together with my disadvantages as well. I’ll try my best to be always perfect for you and at your eyes..! You are for me a dream. Remember always you are an independent strong woman and I’m so proud of being in your life. Sorry for my poor wording but I just woke up

P: Just remember that I’m always here for you… I would do anything for you

3/12/17

Y: Good night my love, hope I dream about you tonight going to galleries with me again.

P: Dear patata, I love the way you elaborate your thoughts on the things you’ve seen during day. Today was an art scene.. but always your analysis are enlightening and somehow deep but fresh. I don’t know if it’s my love for you that makes you so shiny informer of my eyes or you’re just such a precious being. Don’t question your self too much on what you’re going to be in 5 years because everyday something crazy like having sex with a pot head in N.. and you find you’re self with him in taipei a month after.. ! Keep dreaming because the best things happen while you are programming, in between bites of time.

This said, I probably can’t even understand how strong you must be in this first period of assessment in a new environment, without the freedom you were used to. Remember always I’m here, as a tool, as a friend, as a lover as a sex toy.. simply at your disposal for our mutual happiness. I send you my love and wish you a good beginning of the week before finally cuddle you in my arms❤🐽! Un bacio patata🐒

3/14/17

 Y: Good night patata Un bacione for my perfect lover and Sputnik And also, thank you for always being so intelligent, intellectually and emotionally. Whether it is me nagging about my life in D or frustration toward things,  you are always the most patient, patata. And your calmness brings me back to reality with a greater insight on life, that is to live in the moment. I’m grateful of you and I’m grateful of wherever I am now. Your existence often reminds me of that and thank you. Focus tomorrow and I give you all my love, luck and kisses 🌸

P: Amore mio, I just checked the flights for Iceland and the best is to go through London they have nine flights a dayiceland For Iceland * You make me feel like a king amore mio and I don’t know if why the gods gifted me with you  I’ll wake up early early tomorrow to be fresh and revise before exams Thank you for sharing all this love with me❤🐒 I’ll be always here for you Good night my pata I’ll be fhw happiest kid on earthrhursdaay night 🐣👌🏿

3/16/17

P: Baby sleep well tonight because tomorrow we are going to sleep even better. I loved you with glasses, list like me the grandpa. I’m sure both our trips will just go smooth. I’ll see you in Istambul amore. All my love patata ❤

3/19/17

P: Sleeping in this bed alone.. after those two nights.. is incredibly lonely. Hope your travel back is not to bad amore mio. You are so strong and Hopefully you’ll get some kind of rest on the plane. Text me when you land my love. Thanks for the amazing time in Istanbul ❤🐒

  Y: Ciao my love. I just landed, the whole journey was fine after all, although in the Middle I thought I was going to die… again…. the turbulence was so strong especially in a small flight … I hope you had a fun night with zey and aykan. And hope you did sleep well tonight, although I might be lonely, I hope you managed. Especially without me being there to bother you. I slept the whole way through but still tired… hoping to get some sleep on the taxi. I miss you already, as usual, this weekend seems like a dream once again. A beautiful one, thank you 🌙❤️🌸

P: I had an awful nightmare and just woke up all of a sudden. For sure because you are not here

3/22/17

P: amore mio I don’t know what’s wrong but I can’t download your audio properly. I miss you every second of the day and you’re always in my thoughts

https://youtu.be/vIYRbbHMesg

For you patata

Goodnight stellina ti bacio tanto

Y: Ciao amore I woke up listening to the song and then fell asleep again But then I started listen to john legend song from Lala land I hope you had a good night sleep I give you all my kisses Missing you dearly once again

3/26/17

P:I wish you a smooth day at the office today, you really deserve some appreciation, so please, if they don’t give you enough satisfaction just feel just because I could really see how much effort you dedicated to your job this weekend. Anyhow, beside this remark I truly miss you deeply and I have no more words in my repertory to express gratitude to the fate gifting me with such a rare bird. Patata mia you are a mirage, a miracle to my eyes. Please don’t stop❤🐒🐽 wish you were here now in this blue bed with me snuggling because it’s only trough you that I feel alive. Ti bacio sempre.

Y: Grazie amore you are the best. Being a mirage might disappear, I don’t wanna disappear with you, my rare bird. Have a nice day my love! Text me when u wake up

3/28/17

P: Amore mio I see you everywhere during my day, anything would evoke your figure or recall your name. That’s maybe one of the faces of my love for you. I dream of you. Good night my love. Always yours❤🐒

Y: Ciao amore mio 😂  ❤❤❤

3/29/17

P: Amore mio I would love to start waking up next to each other very soon. How amazing would it be if we’d work in the same

Place for a couple or more  of years and after not to trough away our best years we go for a long road trip till we run out of budget..right now I would love this scenario. Hunting life with you. Enjoy your yoga session patata mia❤🐒

3/31/17

P: Im thrilled thinking about us, always. I think a lot about you, actually most of the time. Everything evokes something about you, your always around me and this is one of the sweetest tastes of love. I want not only to see you everywhere but I hope one day I’ll touch you, sniff you everywhere anytime I wish. Tomorrow it’s gonna be fine patata, do not be to frightened. I wish I could be there making you a bit stronger. I miss you dearly. Let’s discover new parts of our selfs together, never growing apart, shaping the future together. Gods night my pussy patata🐽❤🐒ti bacio

4/2/17

P: Good night my love, all the words I’ve written are still all true and I wish all my following days to be so full of love. ❤🐽🐒

Ti bacio

4/4/17

P:Tesoro, i really want to be there and pamper you under the sheets. I know you’re strong enough to solve al the difficulties you’re now finding on the way. Rise and shine patata mia, because soon a new adventurous dream is coming to visit🐒🐽❤ti bacio

Y: You are the most wonderful being after two months of complaining you are still here. Not that same anymore… but you are still here ❤  I love you

P: I would have never believe to feel this love. I’m glad I’ve met you. Have a lovely sleep my patatoz ❤🐽

I love you too 🐒

4/5/17

Y: Good night amore, I love to feel the love of loving you everyday. Thank you for being here, being you, and being in love with me. Un bacione my love

4/6/17

P: Finding a path in this world with you at my side is something I really enjoy everyday, even with struggle this love is bringing so much positivity and happiness in my life. I am sure its because it’s strong, I like to think so. I love you amore, good night 🐒❤🐽

4/8/17

Y: Ciao baby, I hope dinner was ok and grandma was feeling great ! I’m about to go to sleep, walked SO much today! And tomorrow is the big day !! Finally feeling that I can feel relieved Y:  Baby I was also thinking how lucky I am to find you and to fall in love with you. How magical it is that it’s you. Good night my love un bacione ❤️

P: Going to grandma now I’ll text when home amore Amore mio im back home In my lovely room finally. I had a great great dinner and managed to kiss grandma after the surgery. She is fine and everything will be smooth shortly. I can’t stop of thinking about you in any action I pursue during my day, and our shared dreams is what makes me feel complete, full of life. Thanks for looking at the future with me, let’s keep this attitude patata. Anyway after a long period I think I found the book I would like is to read together: “The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys” written by Chris Fuhrman. I bought one copy today in Verona for my self. Let me know if you’d join me in this adventurous reading. Tomorrow morning I will get up early to help my dad at the apple farm.. he has, as usual, new variety of apple tree he wanna plant. Wish you were here.. hope one day we will make sex in my teenage bed. Ti bacio❤🐒🐽🐽🐽🐽 Ps: let me know all the procedure tomorrow amore, good luck, more than sure it’s gonna be alright

Y: Amore mio, thank you so much for thinking about me even whilst working. I’m stronger when my thoughts are thinking about you. We are both achieving where we want to go somehow even far a part, but I know soon one day, we will be right next to each other. Soon will only be 10 more days until I see you once more. ❤ Good night my love. I was also staring at your eyes today, and I want to tell you that you have amazing eyes I love you 🌸

4/9/17

P:Amore mio I hope my golden mouth is feeling wealth. I really need you with me. Don’t wanna my bocca d'orata do be anyhow hurt….. Everytime in T is the same story, I feel you are my only home and I hope to be yours as well, otherwise please feel welcome to enter the door. Ti bacio tanto amore, I wanna have your lips on mine now. Wish you a smooth working day with no struggle. ❤❤🐽🐽🐽🐽🐽🐒i love you

Y: Amore mio, good night I wish a lovely night with no nightmare. I want my soul to be guarding you, your dream, and your soul tonight. I love you from the moon and back ❤ un bacione

4/10/16

P:You remain my professor in matter of love as always patata mia. I wish I could dream of you every night to compensate what I miss during the day. I love you so much, possibly as I never did with anyone else before. Can’t believe our story is real if I try to put all the pieces together. Ti bacio bocca d'orata🐒❤🐽

4/11/17

P: Good night my love only few days separate us and hopefully I’ll manage to see you every month. I love you and can’t wait to see my patata❤🐽🐒 don’t wake up in the powder bocca d'orata. Ti bacio amore Kiss me always🐣 I like how you act everyday

4/12/17

P: Amore Juventus won 3-0! It is an amazing and historical night for a supporter. I hope my patata is sleeping like a baby, because I would love to be sneaking under the sheets with you now and hug you gently. Tomorrow, just like you I’m going to the dentist for a check up. Ti bacio tanto amore mio.❤🐽wait for me in D if you can..I’m coming.

4/13/17

Y: Baby Have fun tonight Bouncing to bed!! Un bacione. Text me as always later, my love ❤

P: Amore mio the film is amazing You must watch this he name of the movie is: in between Not amazing but quite nice Buona notte patata ❤ i love you deeply and those days back in the provincial attitude reminds me harshly how lucky am to have you along my path. I have still high fever of our love and couldn’t live without it every day. You give me the energy and the happiness I need. Start your day with a smile, and I’ll kiss you soon. Ti bacio tanto patata 🐽❤🐒

4/14/17

Y: i ruff you

P: Amore I love you riffing me Amore mio, I wonna hide with you away from everyone and everything forever. Let’s take a puppy with us and fly away from this social prison imposing us standards and requirements . I want to live my love for you without boundaries ! I wish you all the best love in your life. Whatever it will take to me, I’ll always think if you of something pure, lovely. Ti bacio stellina mia.❤🐒🐽🐽🐽🐽

4/16/17

Y: Baby anything related to you I would love it Text me when you are going to sleep as always And baby I can’t wait for you to take me and explore the wonderful town of where you grew up Un bacione I love you from S to T to D and back !❤

P: Amore you are the hardest worker I’ve ever seen. I’m sure your effort will be rewarded and if not, you just invent a very useful tool for your self, when working. I think you deserve some days off and I hope to be a good distraction next weekend, can’t wait to be back in the road somewhere with you, feeling home touching your hand. I love you, buona notte. ❤🐽🐒

Y: Patattaasorry babyi ruff you

4/17/17

P: Amore mio i ruff all of you from the lovely lips to shiny eyes and smooth skin. I miss all of you and I can’t understand why the only person I would spend happily my time with isn’t next to me. I love you and I send you a gentle kiss. I wanna wake up with you. Buona notte snore mio❤🐽🐒 Have a good one at work

4/18/17

P Amore❤🐽 few more steps and I’ll be there. Love is cruel making us living so far but my love for you is strong at least as the difficulties encountered . Sleep well and have adventurous dreams ! -2 amore 🐒ti bacio

4/19/17

P: Buona notte amore mio❤🐽I just wanna see you, can’t wait any longer . Thanks for saving the situation as always . I see you working hard and getting things settled always smoothly, I’m not humble in saying : you are an inspiration. Ti bacio🐒 Ps: I’m still patata number one ad honorem causa😜

4/24/17

P: ❤❤ patata hope you’re not too tired You are so strong and brave. I’m here in the room, smelling our sec our love, I’m a pussy and I want to cry because I miss you too much after only few hours. I thank you for the strong life you make me feel in my body. You make me see the light. Have a great day patata, work hard, I’ll be waiting for you

Y: Ciao patata, thank you for writing this. Did you miss writing me love notes everyday? I miss you so much, hope you are not having fun all by yourself. I am pretty sure I can leave early today

4/25/17

Y: Thank you once again for another amazing adventure P:I’ll text when I board, ho back to sleep my miracle worker🐽🐒🌹

P:You are my only adventure

Y: Baby I just uploaded my 1000th photo on Instagram!!

Y: Ciao patatatata

I miss you already

P: Amore mio, I miss you deeply and tonight sleeping here on the floor in the sleeping bag, thinking I was in bed with you only 24 h ago seems to be impossible! Jerome told me that I can be back on Saturday afternoon so I’m sure happy and I miss talking freely on skype🐽🐽I love you ❤ good night my patata . O and D will always remember as another amazing dream with you..actually lovely stay at the beach with you that day. Ti bacio

4/26/17

Y: Honey, good night. Don’t think too much. Trust me, things are never that bad. We will go through this together for the next couple of months. I always tell myself everything happens for a reason, we missed the opportunity to go to a good school because at that moment we believed in something else. I missed my chances of going to my dream job, but then I believe life experience brings much more. Perhaps you can take a deep breath just focus on your current difficulties, studies, and spending some time thinking about me…😜 but really think about what you want to do. Business? Sustainability industry?  Business is so broad too, some times you are interested in certain courses but in real life you wouldn’t want to do that for years, and vice versa, so unless you have hands on experience always leave your door open. Every kids with an ok or good family background can gain a master nowadays, it all comes down to what you can offer on the table. A degree proving you learnt some theoretical stuff doesn’t make you more appealing. Leverage your competitiveness from your background and professional experience that’s how so-so school graduates students thrive! You have a gift and strong interest try and find a way to leverage that, because passion is what’s lacking these days in our generation and recruiters can really feel the differences. Anyhow, let’s face this together, if corporate world is not what you seek for perhaps there’s no need to give yourself too much stress on getting into a good master straight away. We are also living in an exciting world, where smart people are building great startups!  I love you. Have a good night  ❤

4/27/17

P: Right now, in this cold night on a hard floor to sleep on, you made me feel home. Safe. Embraced by the love of an amazing girl that can  act simply good every day, to me and to all others around her. I love you. I know you have so much positive contribute to spend on this planet that everyone should thank the gods to people like you do be alive. I’m great to have you on my side and we will go trough everything facing together everyday sadness and joy. I can live with you the bitter taste of life with a smile on my face. This being said I think in your current company or wherever you’ll be in the future, the passion for life you have, as you wisely said, will take you trough meaningful experiences which will get where you wanted, or better were you belonged. I belong to you and I’ll never stop believing in my patata. Believing In us. Wake up and go around to shine, my love.

P: Thanks for the advices, I’ll think about my passion and clear up where to spend best my thrive. I want be there kissing your front head and spending time with you. Anyway As you said, I have a gift and it’s you…and your pussy❤🐽I wish you were here and can’t wait to have good Skype with you. Ti bacio amore mio.

4/28/17

P: Amore im at M’s having dinner and than I’ll sleep either here or.. yeah probably here hiding from the old lady. I’m not usually a person that worries a lot but I just want to be sure you’re safe so plz just pop me a message when you can to make sure patata is fine, don’t need to say nothing just let me know you’re safe later

4/30/17

P: Amore mio, having your attentions every day is a gift for me . I feel so special because of our love and I thank nature for bumping into you. I hope pussy patata is dreaming sweeet-wet dreams🙊 we wired M’s friend and she ate something here! I’ll wake up tomorrow and stay in working on accounting and finance! Kiss for my love and have a great start of the week❤🐒I love you

Y: Ciao pat pat Good morning. Thank you for all the kindness and giving me love. Good luck studying tomorrow. Kisses for you too my love ❤

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Marcus Mariota Has A Brighter Future Than "La La Land": The NFL Underground Mailbag

Welcome to the NFL Underground Mailbag. Ask Chris Harris your question about the NFL, general sports or cultural minutiae at HeyHarris@HarrisFootball.com. Follow him @HarrisFootball.

Drew J.: Which team you viewed as a non-contender when the season ended now looks like a contender after free agency and the draft?

Dammit, Drew, you're just waiting for me to say "Jacksonville Jaguars" so you can send this column to Deadspin in about six months with the email subject line "Can You Believe They Pay This Douchebag To Pontificate About The NFL?"

I'm not going to say Jacksonville Jaguars, but I do think this generation of drunken-sailor spending on defense (Calais Campbell, A.J. Bouye, Barry Church) will go better than last year's (Malik Jackson, Tashaun Gipson, Prince Amukamara). The problem in Hooterville is, as ever, named Bortles.

Read More: Myles Garrett, Good! Mitch Trubisky, Argh!

I could make an argument for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Tennessee Titans, purveyors of third-year franchise QBs in whose futures I basically believe (more on them shortly). Tampa signs DeSean Jackson and drafts O.J. Howard. Tennessee drafts Corey Davis and signs Johnathan Cyprien and Logan Ryan. If I squint, maybe I can see Cinderella?

But I think my answer has to be Houston. The Texans already had a ready-to-contend roster, J.J. Watt presumably returning from being America's foremost lumberjack, and membership in the AFC South going for them. And now they have Deshaun Watson, who probably isn't Dak Prescott, because that story was insane, but offers a higher ceiling than anyone else the Texans might've trundled out under center. I'm not picking the Texans as Super Bowl LII champs, but I think their bold move up to grab Watson in the first round of last week's draft gives a mature Houston roster a puncher's chance in '17 and gives Browns fans yet another potential milestone. "We passed on him twice? Hand me the arsenic."

Memo to Houston: things could get interesting. Photo by Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Michael G.: How do you analyze the Vikings backfield with Dalvin Cook, a second-round draftee, and Latavius Murray, a free-agent signee?

That Cook lasted until the 41st pick is one of the sneaky shockers of the 2017 draft. Before the combine, Cook was a consensus top-15 pick in any mock draft you cared to read.

(Incidentally: stop reading mock drafts! They are useless click-bait completely unworthy of the valuable time you'd otherwise spend cleaning your toes or finding health care. The reason NFL writers arrive at a "consensus" mock draft every year is that everyone reads everyone else's mock drafts! People would stop writing them—especially in fucking February—if you'd stop looking at them. They are the Transformers of sports articles.)

Then NFL teams started paying attention to Cook's off-field misbehavior—breaking a car window with a BB gun, chaining up puppies in a harmful way, hanging out with friends who were investigated for brandishing firearms at a neighbor, and, most significantly, being charged with assault for allegedly striking a woman outside a Tallahassee bar, though a jury found him not guilty. Teams also started nitpicking his medicals and his disappointing combine quickness, and suddenly he wasn't even a top-40 draftee.

But when a running back is as impressive at a huge football school as Cook was at Florida State, I tend to trust the tape. He was a monster. We can't know what kind of person he is; we can't know if he's Montee Ball ready to squander his talent. But if his head is right, Cook's a future NFL star.

Murray should be fun to watch. Photo by Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

As for Latavius Murray? He's a 6'3" 230-pounder with power and great long speed, he's only 27, and he's coming off a 12-touchdown season. I'd call him an above-average player. He can be the lead dog for a good pro rushing attack, and he'll probably top the Vikings in TDs. He's not a change-of-direction and acceleration menace like Cook. Give these guys a good offensive line (Minnesota's blocking was disastrous in '16) and they'll make a fun tandem.

Brian W.: What movies from the 2010s will be thought of the same way we think of Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, and Citizen Kane? My bets are La La Land, The Social Network, Zero Dark Thirty, and Her.

Can we stop with La La Land? It's pretty, well-acted pablum. It's fine, but it's nostalgia made manifest, and as such is subversively retrograde. The Artist won Best Picture on the wings of similar thirsting for the "simpler time" that never actually existed. In 50 years, they'll be begging you to accept a surplus neural implant of La La Land with every dose of zombie spray. The Social Network is "important" and a good character study, but is it a good movie? Is there actual tension? Zero Dark Thirty and Her are surpassingly excellent films, but if I wanted to choose a surpassingly excellent film that was illustrative of our era, I'd choose The Lobster.

But that's not what our era will be remembered for.

We live in the Era of Stupid, and I have a hard time imagining our culture getting surpassingly smarter in some speculative evaluating future. We'll probably be way dumber. So without doubt, our descendants will turn their lonely eyes to the 2010s and remember fondly the innocent days when something as deep and heartfelt as The F8 Of The Furious roamed the planet.

Rich L.: I don't know why you're so down on what you call "soft-focus" NFL features. OK, so we're never gonna really know who these athletes are. Big deal. I like feeling a connection to athletes, even if it's inherently one-sided. Does that make me a sucker or something?

Yes.

When you're a child, looking up to Steph Curry or Tom Brady is fine. Your brains are mush. You're trying to become a person. You're dumb. Part of the responsibility of growing up and becoming a functioning member of society is shrugging off childish things. It would be lovely to be able to understand and believe in very wealthy people we don't know, and I know my continued insistence that we don't and can't and shouldn't try makes me sound like a cynic.

But goddammit, times are too fucking serious to play this game anymore. It makes us sleepy. We start assuming these players and managers and owners (and celebrities and politicians and football columnists) are good people with decent things in their hearts, and soon they're bilking us for stadium money and covering up institutional rape cultures and inspiring the mental gymnastics that allow us to attack victims so as not to question our fandoms.

I love sports, but our fandoms should be questioned. Is every wealthy athlete a terrible person? Of course not, but you don't know who is and isn't, and any personal connection you feel for their lifestyles or their romantic entanglements or their Guitar-Hero-playing pre-draft antics is akin to that scam where you "buy a star" in the night sky. You're free to do as you choose, admire whom you like, toss your money into a trashcan and light it on fire, but in the end you're projecting a lot of emotional energy billions of light years out into the universe, and it ain't coming back your way.

OK but we like Marcus Mariota. Photo by Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

Nick B.: What's Marcus Mariota's ceiling this year and in the future?

I really like Mariota's tape. He and Winston will forever be linked by the '15 draft, but so far they're not particularly alike as players. I call Winston the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man, because he's improvisational almost to a fault, which leads to unexpected brilliance but also bouts of head-clutching madness. I like Winston as a player, but someday soon I may love Mariota.

He's got touch, he's got plenty of wing, he squeezed passes into some ludicrous windows, and most importantly he's under control. Of course, he did this last year in the context of a powerful rush offense and without the same workload Winston bore in Tampa (Winston averaged 5.5 passes per game more than Mariota, and led the league in air yards per attempt). We'll see if the addition of rookie receivers Corey Davis and Taywan Taylor opens up the Titans offense. I'm hopeful.

John C.: Should I move out of the USA?

I assume you're talking about Mango Mussolini's continued assault on the most vulnerable members of our society, but my answer is: probably not. Or not yet. I know every day the U.S. starts to feel a little more like Gilead, but every place has its problems, right? White nationalism isn't just an "us" problem. I say stay and be decent to everybody you meet; serve as an example, as thankless as that often feels. And anyway, where are you going to go? Canada? It's fucking cold there and they eat moose heart.

Sean M.: Does pineapple belong on pizza?

More than moose heart does.

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