#anyways I wasted about an hour on this & my ass is frozen but totally worth it

[dicksoutformtl]

It’s that time of the year my dears where I make snowface (murderman?) snowman William Murderface 🥰

I made him bigger & better then last year.

An boy is he heavy lol I wanted to add his tattoo “ Pobodys Nerfect, this mess is a place” but wasn’t sure how to do that so we’ll have to use our imagination.

[altonajitzu]

[Oneshot] Flashbacks

Some of my friends say they’re tired of scrolling on Tumblr, so here’s an AFF/AO3 to whoever interested:

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1325975/6/her-leader-and-her-maknae-drama-fluff-jihyo-oneshot-romance-tragedy-twice-tzuyu-jitzu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14297235

Either way, please enjoy <3

"Jihyo-ah! Let's go for breakfast. If you're not up in two minutes, we'll just leave you here." Nayeon's voice called from afar, echoing faintly in Jihyo's sleep-fuddled mind.

"Just go ahead without me unnie, I wanna sleep in a bit more." She replied; at least, that was what she thought she said. To Nayeon's ears, it was a string of incomprehensible mutterings that sounded suspiciously close to 'Leave me the fuck alone'.

"Alright you ingrate, don't whine when we're back."

With that she left with Jeongyeon, and Jihyo relished in her silence. Not wasting a minute, she pulled the blanket over her head and drowned in slumber once more.

_____

When she woke a few minutes (or was it a few hours?) later, her friends weren't yet home. Groggily rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Jihyo grunted uncharacteristically as she struggled to stand up. She would have loved to ditch breakfast altogether and sleep in until noon- or better yet, afternoon- but the stomach that had ingested nothing but alcohol for two days insisted otherwise. It was getting increasingly hard to lie still when her abdomen twisted and churned, demanding to be filled with solid food. Before long, she gave up trying to fall back asleep and reluctantly got out of the bedroom in search of something edible.

The next few minutes found Jihyo at the dining table, greedily devouring a bowl of cereal she chanced upon in a random cupboard. It was not her favorite choice of meal, yet for now, the cereal might as well be expired and she would still find it delicious. Finishing her food, Jihyo sad still for a moment and sighed. She couldn't believe she just ate cereal, and found it palatable at that. As she brought the bowl into the kitchen, she rolled her eyes in irritation- in the sink was a total mess, with plates, bowls and chopsticks haphazardly thrown everywhere.

"Jinjja, Nayeon-unnie..." Jihyo muttered under her breath. "It's a miracle how you're still surviving."

Being someone who could not stand looking at a mess, Jihyo grabbed a pair of rubber gloves and got down to cleaning. The ring on her finger made it difficult to put on the skintight gloves, so she took it off and set it next to the sink.

As Jihyo diligently scrubbed sauce and leftover scraps from the dirty dishes, she wondered why her insides were still tossing and turning even though her appetite was already sated.

It was like her mind had forgotten something important and life-changing, but her body hadn't. So it was trying its best to remind her, but to no avail.

Jihyo shook her head and went back to the bedroom, giddy to catch some additional shut-eye.

____________

"Annyeong?" Jihyo lazily picked up her phone. Whoever dared to disturb her sleep better have a damn good reason for it.

"Jihyo! Where are you? Get your ass to the chapel ASAP! We're all waiting here, I'm at the reception at the moment. Hurry the hell up!" A voice boomed from the speaker. Without giving the sleepy girl one second to reply, the person on the other end of the line hung up. It was Jisoo, her cousin.

Jihyo dropped her phone with a groan. "It's my cousin. She's telling me to get to the wedding quickly. Man, it's still so early..." She flopped back to bed, burying her head in the fluffy pillow.

"You seem pretty close to your extended family, aren't ya?" Nayeon casually asked, her eyes not leaving the laptop.

"Yeah...  It was Jisoo on the phone, my aunt's eldest daughter. We've been together since we were born. Every weekend I visited my grandparents' home, and we played around together. Then we grew up, and somehow things still stay the same." Jihyo answered, smiling fondly at the memories.

"So today is her wedding or something? Damn, you're one heartless bitch, Jihyo-ah." Jeongyeon mocked. Jihyo punched her playfully on the arm, pouting at the short-haired girl.

"Who is it that got me drunk off my ass last night, and now I don't even wanna go anywhere? If there's a bitch here, it's you." Jeongyeon just laughed off the blame. It had been great fun watching Jihyo's drunken antics, and it was worth an insult or two.

"Anyway, no it's not. Apparently it's her favorite cousin's wedding, and she's really excited about it. My phone ran out of battery, so I received her message just now." Jihyo showed the others said message. They all huddled in to look at the small screen.

Are you up yet? It's my favorite cousin's wedding! OMG I can't believe it. Today's gonna be greatttttt!

Jihyo was still partially on the walk down the memory lane, so she did not notice her friends exchanging strange looks.

"So um, Jihyo?" Nayeon tentatively asked, pulling the girl out of her reverie.

"Yeah?"

"How close you are with this other cousin? I mean, the one that's about to get married?"

"I don't really know whom she's talking about actually. Like, we're one big family, so..." Jihyo trailed off.

There was something exceptionally wrong here, she realized. Why did she know so little about this wedding girl? She did not even know which one it was among her relatives.

Jeongyeon seemed to notice Jihyo's confusion, so she observed cheekily.

"Seems like you're awfully ignorant of your other family members. Bitch." Jihyo was not about to take this one lightly. She tackled the laughing Jeongyeon down the bed for a round of tickles.

When the chaos finally died down, Jeongyeon managed to give some reasoning between gasps.

"Well I mean, there's no reason why you should care less about them than Jisoo. Her cousin has to be your cousin too...." Jihyo nodded guiltily. She did not expect Nayeon to finish the sentence.

"... or yourself."

Silence.

Jihyo's brain slowly put the pieces together.

The reason why she went out to drink alone, then stumbled at Nayeon's place.

The ring by the kitchen sink.

Jisoo's message about a cousin's wedding.

Then, she shouted the loudest shout Korea had ever heard.

"FUCK!!!!!!"

_____

The taxi trip to the wedding venue turned out to be one emotional roller coaster for Jihyo.

As soon as she jumped into the taxi's backseat, she all but shouted her home address to the astonished driver.

Preoccupied with the handy make-up kit she brought with her in the handbag, Jihyo could not spare a glance at her surroundings, until a looming building forced itself into the corner of her vision. Recognizing the familiar sight, Jihyo looked up just as the taxi passed by JYP University, where she and her lover first met.

It had been a chance meeting. Jihyo, being her usual carefree self, was taking a leisure stroll around the campus with an appearance that was more associated with freshmen than juniors such as herself- bright-eyed, light-stepped, seemingly fascinated with everything. It had always been this way with Jihyo; it never mattered where she was, she was always chasing a random fantasy inside her head rather than focusing on the real world. This gave her a constantly fresh and excited looks which was first adored by others, but after an incident where she dove headfirst into a trashcan, people knew the truth- she was an idiot, plain and simple.

That day, the idiot met a girl, who called herself Chewy. Chewy was sitting alone, staring at nowhere in particular, in a rather obscure corner of the conservatory.

"Hi Chewy! Nice to meet you." Said girl looked at her quizzically.

"You don't... know who I am?" She asked quietly, but apprehensively.

"No, should I?" Chewy looked at her a little longer, calculating. Before long she shook her head with a light laugh.

"No you shouldn't. Nice to meet you too, sunbae-nim."

"Aish! Just call me Jihyo!"

Only two weeks after, when 'Chewy' half-heartedly showed her gold medal hanging on her neck did a flabbergasted Jihyo realize, her new friend was Chou Tzuyu, the most popular freshman in the university thanks to her godlike archery skills, unparalleled beauty, and a volatile personality that only had two modes- either extremely cold, or extremely violent.

Yet they were already friends, and friends trusted each other. No rumor could possibly change Jihyo's steadfast opinion about Tzuyu.

Until the day, something happened that changed their peaceful relationship.

______

"Jihyo-unnie, go out with me."

Tzuyu's voice was calm and quiet, yet her words reverberated and ricocheted through the mind of everyone unfortunate enough to hear it. The entire canteen went deathly quiet, and all eyes turned to look at the speaker with various degrees of shock, disbelief, and jealousy.

Jihyo looked at Tzuyu, who was standing in front of her with a determined look. Her fist was balled up into fists, and she was trying her best to keep herself from running away.

Meanwhile, Jihyo was sitting there, frozen in a comical state. Her mouth was hanging open, awaiting more food to be shoved in by the spoon on her hand. Which was also hanging on the air.

She could not understand why Tzuyu- the school diva, ace of the archery club, dream girl of many- would be interested in her, whose status could be pretty much described by her current pathetic pose: class clown, average looks, no special traits, everyone liked but no one really paid attention to.

After a few seconds, Jihyo decided she must have misheard the name.

"Um... Tzuyu-ah, I think you got the wrong person..." She frantically looked around for anyone nearby so as to validate her point. Much to her dismay, everyone present had seen fit to give them a wide berth.

"Er... You know what Tzuyu, maybeuuuuuuuu..." Jihyo was stopped as Tzuyu stormed up to her and squished her cheeks together, making her lips pucker out like a fish.

"I'm talking to you, stupid unnie. Be my girlfriend." Frustrated with Jihyo's desperate avoidance, Tzuyu whispered to her through gritted teeth.

For a brief moment, Jihyo wanted to just nod and get this over with. Tzuyu was unbelievably beautiful, possessed a fascinating personality, and- apparently- had taken a liking to Jihyo as well. Still her rational mind vehemently objected; she did not have clear feelings for Tzuyu, and it would only hurt them both if she agreed to be in a relationship. Jihyo treasured their friendship, and ruining it with perfunctory romance was the last thing she wanted to do.

So she shook her head.

"No Tzuyu, I won't. We are only friends." She said simply. To her surprise, a smirk appeared on Tzuyu's face.

"I know you'd say that unnie. I'm just sending a message here. Sooner or later, I'll make you look this way."

With that, she turned on her heels and sauntered away in the awestruck looks of the onlookers. Even in rejection she still managed to appear fabulous, while Jihyo- who would thereafter be known as the stupid weirdo who turned down the school goddess- had to duck away from the canteen in the booing of the student body.

_____

Aside from the make-up and the ring, Jihyo brought little with her on the night trip. Everything else, she kept in her bedroom. So there she was a few minutes later, frantically putting on the wedding gown without sparing one moment to appreciate its beauty.

"Dress, check. Bouquet, check. Shoes, check." She nodded in satisfaction. Exhaustion finally catching on, Jihyo sat down on a chair for a moment of respite. Staring at the blank space in front of her, Jihyo instinctively crossed her legs- then she laughed to herself, recalling the incident that had induced this Pavlov's response.

_____

The door swung open with a loud crash, revealing a fuming Jihyo and a guilty-looking Tzuyu. They proceeded to walk up the stairs, heading for Jihyo's bedroom, all the while bickering about what just happened earlier.

"I told you Jihyo-unnie, he started it. I just defended myself."

"Now which part of that do you consider self-defense, Tzuyu?" Jihyo angrily retorted. "You mean where you stomped repeatedly on that guy's nether region? Or where you poured ketchup all over his body after that?"

"I meant where I beat him down for assaulting me! One doesn't simply jump at the great Chou Tzuyu and leave unscathed." The younger girl replied haughtily, brandishing her knuckles in a dramatic manner. Jihyo narrowed her eyes.

"It seems you'll need another lesson, young lady." She spoke sternly. It did not have the expected effect on Tzuyu though.

"Oooh, kinky." She cheekily answered, making Jihyo roll her eyes with frustration.

"Not that kind of lesson, get your mind out of the gutters! Jinjja, I don't remember you to be this perverted."

"Only for you unnie, only for you." Came another tongue-in-cheek reply. Jihyo decided not to reply, in order to avoid digging a deeper hole for her embarrassed self.

So she silently sat on a chair, and beckoned Tzuyu to do the same. Obediently, Tzuyu took a seat on the floor, in front of her unnie. She knew what she was in for, after all.

Ever since they befriended one another, Tzuyu had exhibited- both by words and by action- how horribly inept she was in dealing with other people. It seemed to Jihyo that she could think of little but violence whenever she was faced with a tough situation, and more often than not, it did not end well for either sides. She had more than once been the one to take care of Tzuyu's bruises and cuts, much to the other girl's appreciation. It did not come as peacefully as the diva would have hoped, seeing as her unnie would grumble irritatedly throughout the process.

That said, at the moment, Jihyo proceeded to give a lengthy preach about acting civil and having conduct becoming of a school idol, yet Tzuyu did not seem attentive. She seemed to find interest in a particular spot above Jihyo's head, occasionally looking at the older girl only to quickly avert her eyes later with a blush and giggle.

After the seventh time, Jihyo could no longer take it, so she jumped forward and pinch both Tzuyu's cheeks, making the poor girl groan in pain.

"Are you even listening to me!?"

"It's hard to pay attention when you're sitting like that unnie." Tzuyu managed to squeeze out, her sentence distorted by the misshaped mouth. Jihyo's eyebrows furrowed, not yet getting the implication.

"Like what?"

"Like, at least cross your legs or something." Jihyo's head immediately snapped down, and only then did she realize she was wearing a skirt... and not crossing her legs while talking. As if touched by fire, she bolted back with a high-pitched shriek.

"Tzuyu! How could...! I was... and you were..." Stuttered Jihyo, her jumbled words a combination of anger and embarrassment.

"What! Why do you keep blaming me when it's never my fault?" Tzuyu said, her eyes twinkling with mirth. Making fun of Jihyo would never get old, her reaction was always so priceless.

"Jihyo-unnie, do you know why you're so pissed off about this? If you don't, I'll tell you." She chirped, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Jihyo could not care less as to her reasons for being angry, but she wouldn't deny that she was a bit curious.

"Enlighten me then." She tried to be as disinterested as possible.

"You were jealous unnie." Jihyo choked on her own breath, but Tzuyu pretended to not notice. "You were afraid that I would accept his confession, and then angry because he managed to steal a kiss on these lips." Tzuyu blew a kiss at Jihyo, who was now furiously blushing.

"Get out Tzuyu, I've had enough with your jokes." Tzuyu did not need to be told twice. She cheerfully left the older girl to her own devices, knowing what she said had fulfilled its purposes. Jihyo was going out of her way to deny it, but Tzuyu knew she was wavering.

Indeed, Jihyo's gaze never left the general direction from which Tzuyu just departed, wondering if what she said was true.

_____

As luck would have it, the taxi slowed down to a halt just meters away from Tzuyu's front door. Jihyo looked on fondly at the porch where they had parted countless times, exchanging kisses before either of them left for their respective business.

The memory that resurfaced, however, was not any of these kisses. Well, it was one, but it did not happen anywhere she could see from the street. This particular kiss, it happened past the hall, up the stairs, through another hall, and into the deepest corner of Tzuyu's house. It was also where their relationship officially started.

_____

Jihyo sat up with a sigh. She was never one to endure the heat well, and it did not help that everyone decided to fall asleep on Tzuyu's bed rather than spread out in her unreasonably large room. As a result, Jihyo- who went to bed the earliest, was literally driven into a corner by consecutive newcomers who saw fit to hog up as much space as they possibly could. Glancing around the sound sleepers with pure spite and jealousy, Jihyo's eyes landed on the one lying the closest to her, and her gaze softened. No matter what Tzuyu did, Jihyo could never stay mad at her.

The older girl found herself staring at the outline of Tzuyu's curves under the faint moonlight. Travelling downwards from the bare shoulders, Jihyo's gaze lingered hungrily on the exposed stomach just underneath her disheveled top, and eventually settled onto a pair of flawless, creamy thighs that glistened with a thin layer of sweat.

She recalled also Tzuyu's rather explosive confession. The Taiwanese had become more and more of an enigma, which Jihyo seriously did not expect. Who she was deep inside, while far from being a normal girl, was not something obnoxious at all. Jihyo did not hate this particular aspect of hers; rather, she secretly adored it, finding it much preferable to the ice-cold distant person Tzuyu always made herself out to be.

Behind the cold uncaring facade, Tzuyu actually carried inside her a wonderful heart. There were instances where Jihyo witnessed the younger girl go out of her way to help stray animals and people in need; when being confronted about it later, she always denied it fervently but clumsily. The way she blushed when trying to wave it off was extremely... cute, in a way.

Speaking of cute, Jihyo's line of sight now rested upon Tzuyu's delicate sleeping face. She was still blissfully asleep despite the heat, her mouth slightly open; there was an innocent aura surrounding the girl's face, making her look less her flirtatious self than ever before.

Was it only her, or was it getting hotter? Jihyo couldn't tell.

Somewhere deep down her subconsciousness, she felt a sudden urge to wipe the sweat off Tzuyu's face. Was she not comfortable? It probably wouldn't hurt to wear less. Jihyo then took off her outer robe, leaving on only her partially-soaked pajama top. With it she lightly dabbed on their lovely sleeping face. The last thing she wanted is Tzuyu waking up to this compromising situation.

Dahyun, however, had different plans. Still deep in slumber, she turned on her stomach; her elbow nudged hard into Tzuyu's midriff, effectively causing her to awaken.

Tzuyu opened her large eyes, black and starry like the night itself. She took immediate notice of the warm sensation on her face, and moved quickly to grab the hovering hand. Jihyo froze, her extended hand captured in Tzuyu's.

They stared deep into each other's eyes, one pair burning with desire and the other with conflicting emotions. The argument that had prevailed before, resulting in her previous rejection, once again bubbled back onto the front of Jihyo's mind- yet this time, it was much less pronounced. The rational voice weakly made itself known, only to to be snuffed out by the overwhelming want to shut down Tzuyu's challenging eyes by planting a kiss on those enticing lips.

And Jihyo did exactly that. Lowering her face down slowly but steadily, she brought their lips closer and closer, until they both closed their eyes to the blooming sensation when they finally touched. Time seemed to stop for the girls as neither of them felt the need to breathe, as their world had all but disappeared, leaving behind only the foreign, yet so addicting feelings of their emotional bonds manifesting, burning like wildfire around their faces.

She had fallen hard for Tzuyu, and Tzuyu for her.

_____

The taxi reached its final destination at exactly midday. As Jihyo stood in front of the secluded chapel, prepared and glamorous in pure white wedding gown, a sense of dread suddenly grew. Only now did she remember why she ran out to drink alone the very night before their important day.

_____

Jihyo was not feeling good. At all. The wedding was tomorrow, and somehow nothing felt in place.  To add insult to injury, their hired pianist decided to ditch her post, and she could not contact Dahyun for emergency substitution. Everything saw fit to fall apart at the very last minute, and it was driving the future bride crazy.

And 'bride', as in the singular form. Because, for the entire day filled with bad news, Tzuyu was nowhere to be found.

As the clock struck ten, Jihyo heard the front door click open. Looking up, she felt her blood boil when her fiancee entered with Sana all smiles and giggles. That was the last straw.

A small part of her wanted to go around this rationally and talk things out, but whenever she got too upset her old self would emerge and stop her from ever expressing her feelings out loud. Right now, she preferred to be alone.

Unfortunately for Jihyo, Tzuyu was more perceptive than she ever hoped to be; the younger girl noticed the tears of frustration and self-pity one split second before she managed to storm out the door.

"Jihyo-unnie!" Again, she could never hope to match the agility or strength of a champion archer. Tzuyu's hand bolted out to grab hers,

"What!!!" She snapped, her voice cracking. She tried to yank herself free, but Tzuyu was not about to relent.

"What's wrong? What happened? What's the problem?" It was not easy for Tzuyu to be the calm one. Having more or less the comforting capacity of a rock, she managed fine enough in normal situations. But it was just before their wedding day- everything was supposed to be perfect, so she was caught completely off guard. As it stood, she could do nothing but awkwardly ask questions.

"What do you think!? I spent the whole day fixing our messed up wedding, and you were out d-dating and... f-flirting with Sana!?" Jihyo could not hold it inside any longer, and she practically shouted at Tzuyu's face.

"Flirting? No Jihyo-unnie, you misunderstand, we were..."

"Please don't. I need to be alone right now. For the sake of us both, please deal with everything else." Finally she managed to free herself from Tzuyu's death grip, and she stormed off, leaving behind her confused and devastated fiancee.

And off she went, heading straight to the bar. There, she saw Jeongyeon, and they proceeded to drink herself under the table. They later stumbled at Nayeon's, beyond inebriated, and this ordeal completely stripped Jihyo of the night's memory when she woke up next morning.

_____

The hall, filled with hubbub prior, quieted down as soon as Jihyo stepped through the entrance. All guests and relatives stopped in their tracks, marveling at the beauty of the newly-arrived bride, but Jihyo barely noticed. Her eyes immediately rested on the other bride- her bride, the lone figure standing patiently in wait at the altar, her head slightly bowed.

Having agreed beforehand to have similar wedding dress styles, Jihyo had a pretty good idea how Tzuyu would look that day- after all, their attire were supposed to be identical. Yet, taking in the sight of her fiancee, resplendent and angelic, she still felt entranced. Step by step she took, closer and closer to the altar, until Tzuyu finally noticed her presence. Jihyo could feel the warmth and relief in her fiancee's sigh.

With poorly constrained anticipation, Jihyo lifted up her soon-to-be-wife's veil, revealing underneath it the angelic face that she'd come to love. Tzuyu was looking at her with a gentle smile, though Jihyo could still detect the slight red puffiness around her eyes hidden beneath the make-up. Her lover had been crying, and her heart was overcome with guilt.

"Jihyo-unnie... even until our wedding, you still made me wait." As always, Tzuyu's quiet voice resounded within Jihyo's mind despite having no spiteful edge. "You're so beautiful today."

"Tzuyu, dear, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I stormed out on you yesterday. I said things I should not have, and I felt terrible."

"You're forgiven, Jihyo-unnie." Tzuyu said quietly. Then, with a more regretful tone, she continued. "I'm sorry too, I did not expect that there was still work to take care of, and I just left you with it. I promise I'll be more attentive."

A second passed, as the couple mirrored one another's adoration-filled smiles.

"You're so cute when you're jealous though." Jihyo bit her lips and looked down, accepting the tease without any retort. Tzuyu deserved at least this much after putting up with her attitude yesterday.

"Thank you for showing up, Miss Park Jihyo. We can now begin." Being informed of her arrival, the officiant stepped

As Sana ran up to give Tzuyu her vows, it struck Jihyo that she did not have her own. As a matter of fact, the thought of writing one never crossed her mind.

"Oh god, I forgot to write my vows! What do I do, what do I do?" Jihyo started to panic. Then she felt Tzuyu's hand caressing her arms, and she immediately calmed down.

"Tzuyu, you are one true joy in my life. You're the person I never knew I needed. I used to think I'm fine living the way I did, being a run-of-the-mill funny girl. But time went by, and I became hollow. No one really took me seriously, and I was always spending time alone whenever I felt down. You're the first person to look past the clown's joke and at her ignored tears. The first not only to laugh with me, but also cry with me. I love you Chou Tzuyu, today and always."

Jihyo was known to stumble and stutter under pressure, one of many reasons why she was inherently funny to look at in the first place. Yet today, at the most stressful moment of her life, her speech came out naturally and flawlessly.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Jihyo could see Jeongyeon- who apparently had managed to get there before herself- openly wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, and she felt extremely proud of herself this time.

She was surprised when Tzuyu suddenly discarded the piece of paper on her hand, throwing it on the floor dismissively.

"Tzuyu, your wedding vows..."

"I don't need it anymore unnie. You're right, we don't need any preparation to say what we feel." Taking a deep breath, Tzuyu said.

"Jihyo-unnie, before I met you, I had lived my whole life being treated like a princess. Everyone praised me for what I accomplished, and pushed me to go even further. The constant attention became suffocating, and I gradually withdrew into a shell and mask my feelings, afraid of people's expectations. Then you came along. You're the first one to reach out for me, for my real me. You showed me that life is not just competitions and performances. You showed me how amazing it is to be carefree, to enjoy things I never knew before. How amazing it is to be truly loved. You brought me to life, and for that I'm thankful. I love you Park Jihyo, today and always."

Jihyo felt tears prickling at her eyes. She had never heard Tzuyu speak at such lengths before, and this passionate speech was reserved for her and her only.

For a split moment, she recalled her past self's argument, denying her feelings for the younger girl. May it rest forever in peace, she thought. She loved Tzuyu. Her adorable awkwardness, her radiant smile, her annoying jokes, her everything. And Tzuyu loved her back just as much.

"You may now kiss the bride." The priest declared on reflex, then caught himself in time and rephrased. "Ehem. The brides may now kiss."

And kiss they did, in the booming applause of the overjoyed audience.

[its-love-u-asshole]

Perfectly Aligned [fic]

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Kuroo didn’t know how he’d made it back here, standing beneath the glistening war machines known as Jaegers. He was the definite outsider, not just at the Shatterdome, but in this world. The world of Jaeger pilots had long since closed its door on him, and now here he was, knocking once again. However, maybe this time, he wouldn’t be alone. 

Rating: T

Tags: Pacific Rim AU, First Meetings

Note:  Hello! This is my gift for @holydumpling for the @kurotsukiexchange! I got…kinda carried away with one of your prompts…sorry? LOL I really loved diving into this world of Pacific Rim though, it was a ton of fun, and I hope you enjoy it! <3 

AO3

The rain outside battered against the concrete dome mercilessly, each drop a shard of ice crashing onto Earth. Kuroo had been in it only a few hours before, arriving at the base with nothing but his backpack and a reluctant attitude.  His coat hadn’t helped him much against the chill, his cheeks turning red, irritated by the frigid winds.

The cold seeped into him, bone deep, making his steps stifling and small, and he heard each one as his shoes crunched against wet asphalt.

Yes, it was all the rain’s fault. That’s what he told himself. He told himself it wasn’t the nerves, nor the hollowness inside him, the one which he knew had been a constant in his life for some time now.

It had been five years since he’d laid eyes on a Jaeger base, and despite himself, the old rush of excitement flitted through his veins at the sight of it. He cursed his own heart for giving into the stirring feelings, but some instincts were hard to crush.

This had once been his home, the place he felt most put together. Doing good for the world, for innocent people, protecting against kaijus…that had been his life.

“I’m meant to be a pilot!” He had said, so confident and sure.

At that, Kuroo chuckled under his breath, devoid of all genuine humor. Yeah, so maybe he’d been walking like a decrepit old man for a while now, lost and without purpose, but at least here, he had something else to blame. Hopefully he didn’t look as pathetic as he felt.

The thoughts slushed around in his brain, eventually drowned by the striking of raindrops as he was rushed inside by the base executives.

Inside, the rain stopped, replaced with a different storm of noises. Rushing footsteps, shouts, conversations, and a whole mess of sounds from the various monitors had Kuroo feeling more awake.

That was both a blessing and a curse.

As soon as Kuroo stepped into the shelter of the Shatterdome, all activity stopped. Every set of eyes targeted him, tracing every movement, as if they could judge his worth instantly. He might’ve been imagining the whispers, but the words were familiar, and the people around him were no doubt thinking them.

“Is that Kuroo Tetsurou?”

“Wasn’t he retired?”

“Hey look, it’s the fuck up pilot.”

“Are they really getting that desperate that they’re bringing this guy back?”

“They’re not letting him into a Jaeger are they?”

Yeah, this was gonna be great.

His self-deprecation was interrupted by the Marshal, who somehow hadn’t taken notice of the blatant staring. That or he was just being nice for Kuroo’s sake.

He didn’t know which one he hated more.

“Now, I’ll give you a rundown of the facilities after dinner, but I trust you’re still quite familiar with Jaeger tech,” the Marshal, newly appointed Ukai Keishin, spoke with no room for correction. Of course Kuroo was still familiar with Jaeger tech, as if he could ever forget. Ukai’s stern expression softened only a bit, noticing Kuroo’s tense posture, his stress lines fading away for the first time in Kuroo’s presence.

“I know it’s a lot to get adjusted to, so find your room and go eat up, there’s a lot to do tomorrow.” Ukai handed him a paper with a room number, patting Kuroo’s shoulder in a small, but welcome show of support. “We still have to find you a co-pilot too, don’t forget. Meet back here after dinner. Clear?”

The word co-pilot nearly made Kuroo wince, but he resisted just in time. “Yes sir,” he said weakly, clutching the paper like a lifeline.

As soon as Ukai was out of sight, Kuroo didn’t waste time. He made a beeline for the nearest elevator, not making eye contact with anyone until he reached the isolation of his bunk.

–

Again, Kuroo had liked the rain because it had been his excuse to lag, to tune out everything and everyone and blame it on the noise and chill.

Here, he had no rain.

The mess hall was completely full, the tables divided into their various cliques. J-tech crew, pilots, execs, everyone had a place with their comrades except him. He was the definite outsider, not just at the Shatterdome, but in this world. The world of Jaeger pilots had long since closed its door on him, and now here he was, forced to knock once more.

All eyes were on him, the loud clamor of discussions fading into nothingness as he walked down one of the rows, eyes set on the ground. He prayed and prayed for an empty table, somewhere he could just sit and hide himself so he didn’t have to deal with this crap.

The universe was a bitch though, because while he managed to find an empty corner spot, the table was connected to the group of a pilot he really did not want to talk to.

“Hey there Kuroo,” Daishou Suguru smirked at him with no trace of shame, his snake-like stare way too intense to be normal. God fucking dammit. Kuroo was not in the mood for this, and screw it if he was being immature, he didn’t answer, instead dropping into the seat as far away from Daishou as possible. At one point in Kuroo’s better days, he would’ve totally rose to the occasion of mocking the other pilot in some way, but he didn’t have anything to be particularly proud of himself, so he felt it best to keep quiet.

If only Daishou knew the meaning of the word.

“Aw c’mon now, is that anyway to treat a fellow pilot?” Daishou slid down, and Kuroo actually grimaced at the proximity, not at all in the mood for the other’s shit. But Daishou’s smile didn’t drop, the politeness of it a massive lie given the animosity in his eyes.

Kuroo could hear the next words before they were spoken really, but it didn’t make them sting any less.

“Or maybe you’re just embarrassed huh? I sure would be, with what you did,” he went on, sighing dramatically even as everything inside Kuroo screamed. All the other tables were fixated on them now, waiting for any form of reaction. Fuckers. All of them, waiting for their show.

Waiting for Kuroo to screw up again, to prove he was nothing more than a liability.

He wouldn't give in to them, not even as the light sound of whispers and laughter began to carry out through the mess hall. It echoed, battling with his attempts to calm himself, and before he knew it, the images were building...

Flashes of light.

Stay in control.

Screaming

They don't matter.

Nowhere to run.

You're a great pilot. Don't listen. Don't listen. 

But Kuroo's struggle went unnoticed, his body frozen like a statue as his untouched food began to smell rotten, like burning flesh.

"Just hey, word of advice," Daishou said, leaning in as if to whisper a secret. Kuroo was pretty sure he imagined the smell of slime, but it was there all the same, something he had always associated with Daishou. The other's eyes crinkled with his smile, the statement carrying throughout the room, putting his shame out for everyone to see.

"When your first test run back in your Jaeger goes wrong, and you end up plasma blasting all the spectators, leave for good this time. 'kay?"

It's the spark of the memory that did it.

He's back in his Jaeger, five years ago, his co-pilot's screams going unnoticed beside him as Kuroo loses himself in a memory. It shouldn't have happened. He'd drifted hundreds of times, he was a pro. Shouldn't have happened.

But it did.

Kuroo had latched onto a painful memory during the establishment of a neural connection, and before he knew it, he was firing up the plasma cannon, dead set on fighting off a threat which didn't exist.

He'd fired once before they'd pulled the plug on him.

But it had been enough. Too much.

Shouldn't have happened.

I let it happen.

My fault.

My fault.

Kuroo flinched violently, his hand rising against his own volition, his inability to stop hitting way too close to home. He was going to push Daishou away, probably hard enough to send him on his ass, and then everyone would be right about him.

He wasn't meant to pilot a Jaeger.

Before his palm could connect with Daishou's chest, there was a loud clang in front of him, and everything stilled. As if water had been poured on him, Kuroo froze, stunned out of his trance. Daishou gasped beside him, as did several others in the hall, and suddenly all eyes tracked the source of the sound.

The space on the table across from him was splattered with food, a mixture of beans and mashed potatoes. Amidst it all sat a crooked dining tray, missing half its food, and all too quickly what happened became clear.

The tray had been dropped from way too high up, clattering onto the metal table like a gunshot. Kuroo's eyes flicked up, way up, to the face of the culprit, and shockingly, his first thought was something other than the word tall.

Glowing.

It wasn't Kuroo being sleazy, it was just a genuine observation. This guy glowed. Blond hair, unblemished pale skin, and eyes so flecked with gold and honey, Kuroo couldn't help but imagine a warm cup of tea.

The blond's face sat twisted in displeasure, but not at Kuroo. Those laser focused eyes were fixed on Daishou, uncaring of the wasted food or the shock his little act caused. The blond just stood, strong and steady, his upfront nature enough for Daishou to actually start fidgeting under the gaze.

Kuroo would've snorted, if he wasn't so entranced himself. Daishou liked to act big and bad, but he was so damn easily flustered it was hard to take him seriously.

When the blond finally spoke, Kuroo swore he saw a few people from Daishou's group lean back in fear. It was awesome. "I don't think someone who can't even beat me, a trainee, in simulator kills has any right to talk. The fact that they let you into a Jaeger is laughable," the blond said, sardonic smile rising on his gentle features. "Piss off will you?"

The question, or command really, was a direct punch to anyone who heard it, uttered with no traceable amount of fear or uncertainty. Fuck.

Daishou grumbled to himself, scoffing as he picked up his own empty tray. His crew, realizing that was the cue to pack up their own shit, rose from their seats along with him. "Whatever Tsukishima, eat with the loser for all I care. I was done anyways..."

"Uh huh," Tsukishima muttered under his breath, and Daishou's glare was absolutely pitiful in comparison to such a level of obvious disdain.

The other pilot scoffed, turning to leave the mess hall, and the spell broke. The other tables returned begrudgingly to their own conversations, aware the drama had ended. Kuroo's whole table was clear, and he could eat in peace.

He couldn't be more grateful, but for some reason the thanks got stuck in his throat when the blond took his seat.

Tsukishima. Why did that sound so familiar?

The blond--Tsukishima, grimaced at his messy tray, picking at the remnants of food on it with clear disgust. It was actually sort of cute, if Kuroo had to be honest, but he couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

There was only so much food to go around, and Tsukishima had wasted his on helping Kuroo out.

Why had he?

"Um, thanks for that," Kuroo said, finding his voice. "I seriously appreciate it, but...do you want some of my--"

"No," Tsukishima answered simply, shoveling a scoop of beans into his mouth. The expression which followed was enough evidence to suggest the beans weren't the best, and Tsukishima was reaching for water in the next instant. "I don't eat much, especially not this trash. Shouyou--the chef I mean, just always insists on piling too much onto my tray. Idiot..."

Kuroo actually laughed at that, the first genuine laugh since he'd arrived at the Shatterdome, and some of the reserved tension flooded out of his shoulders. "Well, you are kinda scrawny..."

The glare he got was pointed, but more playful than the one given to Daishou. Kuroo counted it as a win.

"I'm glad you didn't sacrifice much though," Kuroo said, smiling sheepishly. "Daishou has never played nice with others, at least not with me. Normally I could take him but..."

The words trailed off, and the pain traveled back up his throat. There really was no non-pitiful way to say he'd lost his will to fight, or that he deserved every criticism, was there?

"...just, thanks," Kuroo finished, clearing his throat and stuffing his mouth full of bread to avoid any more slip ups.

Tsukishima tilted his heat to the right, regarding Kuroo curiously, like his eyes were running calculations. Sizing him up, so to speak. But it didn't feel as intrusive or malicious as when other people did it, so Kuroo wasn't going to complain.

"Daishou is a jerk, a decent pilot, and strategic as hell, but that's about it," Tsukishima answered, like he'd read it in a textbook somewhere. "He also pilots the fastest Jaeger we have, so he thinks that's a reason for everyone to spread their ass for him."

Kuroo almost choked on his food, his sudden snort blending with a cough in the most unattractive way possible. It had Tsukishima hiding his own smile, and even if it's at Kuroo's own expense, he'll take it.

"Oh...oh my god," Kuroo said, once he'd stopped dying, his laughter coming out in small snickers. "That's so true."

Tsukishima nodded thoughtfully, leaving his spoon to hang in his mouth as he thought over his next words. Kuroo couldn't help but grin.

"Although, I personally like your Jaeger the most, it's more reliable," Tsukishima continued, going back to picking at his food as his voice grew smaller.

The words 'your Jaeger' made Kuroo startle, mostly because he hadn't heard the phrase in so long. He'd gotten used to believing what everyone else said about him: he didn't deserve the title of Jaeger pilot, so it wasn't like he had any right to claim one.

Still, a surge of affection spread in his chest as he spoke. "My oldie is still running huh?"

"Mm," Tsukishima hummed, brow furrowing slightly. "The...Nekoma...?"

"I named it after my old high school," Kuroo supplied, laughing lightly. "Lots of good memories there, so I figured it would be good luck."

Yeah, some luck you ended up having.

Kuroo tried his best not to wince.

"Your original co-pilot didn't mind?"

Another wince, and he couldn't hold that one back. Any topic having to do with co-pilots instantly set Kuroo on edge. In the past, he'd had two co-pilots. The first, his best friend Kenma, had retired early due to a leg injury, and now worked J-tech at another base. His other pilot, who hadn't exactly been Kuroo's first choice but who had been compatible enough, probably hated him now. After the incident which had retired them both, he'd never spoken to Kuroo again, lampooning him in the media for being a terrible drifter.

Yeah, Kuroo hadn't had good luck with keeping pilots. And tomorrow, he'd have to find a new one, and none of the candidates probably trusted him. If anything, they probably disliked him already. After all, it was impossible for them to not know who he was, what he'd done. Surely they'd heart the gossip and warnings, and if they hadn't, Daishou would no doubt fill them in soon enough. Bastard.

Tryouts were going to be damn brutal, but rather than unloading all that shit onto the blond, Kuroo simply said: "I basically had free reign back then."

Tsukishima arched a brow, but accepted the explanation easily enough.

Kuroo pushed forward, eager to get away from the topic, and plus, something was nagging at him..."By the way, I never got to properly introduce myself. I'm--"

"Kuroo Tetsurou, I know," Tsukishima said, and Kuroo cursed himself. No shit he knew. Kuroo's fuck up was common knowledge, so why he expected less from someone with obvious insight, he wasn't sure. It didn't help him feel less humiliated, which just wasn't fair. He thought he'd become numb to most of the ridicule by now, but the thought that the blond might have unflattering opinions about him was not a nice thought.

"Oh, yeah, makes sense..." Kuroo said, deflating.

Can a kaiju just jump out of the sea and kill me right now?

"You hold a lot of records, and your previous missions all went off without a hitch," Tsukishima continued, interrupting Kuroo's despair with his matter-of-fact tone. Like it was obvious. "I've done my research. It would be irresponsible to not know you..." He added in a quieter voice, the lightest blush dusting his cheeks, and Kuroo thought he might explode.

His mouth opened but no sound came out apart from a small croak, and he wondered if his eyes were as wide as he thought.

"It would be irresponsible not to know you."

Kuroo was being recognized for his accomplishments, not his failures. He'd forgotten what that was like, how damn good it felt.

God, he felt dizzy. This was stupid.

It didn't stop him from flying on cloud nine.

"Wow, thank you," Kuroo said, hopelessly.

Tsukishima adjusted his glasses needlessly, like a nervous tick, nodding slightly. Kuroo didn't like throwing the phrase "drawn to someone" around too heavily, because it was a rare feeling. But without a doubt, this was one hundred percent it.

"I'm Tsukishima Kei, in case you really needed to know," the blond drawled, and the attempt to seem like a brat was enough to make Kuroo smile wider at his little realization.

Kei. Like a firefly. Looked like Kuroo's observation from before was correct. The blond glowed in more ways than one.

"Tsukishima Kei? Pretty, but I can't help but think it's familiar," Kuroo said, tossing the name around in his head. He also filed away Tsukishima's blushing face in the meantime.

"Probably because it is. I'm Tsukishima Akiteru's brother," he said with a sigh, waving his hand around. "You know....the Tsukishima Akiteru."

"What do you--"

And then it all clicked to him.

Kuroo jumped up from his seat, attracting a few stares, but he didn't give a fuck.

Tsukishima Akiteru was one of the best Jaeger pilots ever. He currently held the records for number of kills and missions completed. In short, he was the golden boy of the Jaeger world, an idol, an example to all pilots in the Pacific. He'd accomplished so much at such a young age, and Kuroo had never stopped being impressed by him, even when Akiteru retired for good. They made a goddamn statue of him for fuck's sake.

Kuroo couldn't believe he'd forgotten, couldn’t comprehend that Akiteru's own brother was sitting in front of a scrub like him.

"Are you serious right now? That's incredible! Akiteru is like...the best pilot that ever was!" Kuroo exclaimed, plopping back into his seat. His food was definitely cold by now, but screw it.

Tsukishima clicked his tongue, trying to glare, but even Kuroo could tell he was holding back a proud smile. "Whatever, don't give him that much credit."

"It's true! Wow, that must've been so cool to witness," Kuroo sighed, marveling at how Tsukishima's eyes shone. "What do you do here anyways? Are you a new pilot?"

At that, a blush lit the blond up, his shoulders notably tensing. Huh, interesting...

"N-no. No," Tsukishima clarified, clearing his throat and trying his best to keep his tone calm. "I'm just a J-tech worker, that's all."

"What do you mean just? You have to be like...crazy smart to do that you know," Kuroo said with a laugh, his smile more fond than what was probably appropriate. Again, screw it.

Tsukishima glared at the table, fixing his glasses once more without really needing to. "I'm sure all the other workers are just as capable..."

Humble. Maybe too much so...

Tsukishima obviously had a lot of sides to him, and no doubt a lot of stories to tell. J-tech workers saw it all, and Kuroo wanted to know it all. He also wanted to talk to Tsukishima more, but that was more of a personal want. The blond had been kind to him when no one else cared to be, but more than that, something about him was just pleasant. Like a nice breeze on a moonlit night, Kuroo felt refreshed and light around him. Kuroo hadn't felt so unburdened in a long time, and he hoped Tsukishima was enjoying his company just as much.

Well, only one way to find out.

"Hey...I have to go on this tour of the place with the Marshal right now, but afterwards, do you wanna come to my room?" Kuroo asked, and when Tsukishima's eyebrows shot up, he backpedaled quickly. "J-just to talk! I swear! You're like...the closest thing I have to a friend here, and I could use some refresher courses, you know?"

Kuroo willed his blush to die, but the heat still coursed through his veins. Mostly because, well, he was sort of lying. Sure, he did need more help around this place, but mostly he wanted to learn more about Tsukishima, wanted to hear him laugh more freely and feel comfortable around him. Whether or not the conversations they had were educational or not wasn't really a concern of his.

Above all, Kuroo knew when he had such strong instincts to be close to someone like this, he'd better listen.

Tsukishima regarded Kuroo silently for a few seconds, and for a moment, Kuroo thought he might be turned away. He really should stop assuming the worst, where had his old optimism gone?

"Sure, that would be..." Tsukishima stopped suddenly, the red on his cheeks refusing to fade away as he cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah."

"Great, awesome!" Kuroo stood, tripping over his words like he had a time limit, like Tsukishima would change his mind any minute. "I'm in room 106. Is that a problem?"

Tsukishima's smirk should not have looked that good on him, but whatever, Kuroo wasn't going to complain about it. "No problem at all. I'm in 107."

Kuroo's grin bloomed on his face before he'd really finished registering the words, and he was convinced nothing could kill his good mood now that it was set in place. He waved Tsukishima goodbye, not breaking eye contact until he had to make a turn out of the hall.

Perfect.

--

Kuroo hadn't expected to get so emotional when he saw his Jaeger, looking battle worn but tough, but here he was. His eyes felt misty as he looked up at the bulky frame, the nuclear core gleaming under the work lights of the bay. The red stripes and accents were faded and scarred, but Kuroo thought they looked just as rad as the very first day he'd climbed into the machine. Not even the blatant water damage and chipped paint could rid the Jaeger of its glory, not in Kuroo's heart.

When he saw the Nekoma, he saw his best friend Kenma next to him, keeping him from being too impulsive. He saw them naming the Jaeger for the first time, saw them killing their first kaiju. He saw himself becoming the man he always wanted to be, a pilot. It made him remember the thrill of it all, the satisfaction which came with saving lives.

Oh how he'd missed it, and here was his chance to get it all back, standing in front of him, waiting for his return.

He refused to cry. At least not immediately, in front of the Marshal no less. Maybe later, when he could let the emotions wash over him completely. In the back of his mind, he made a note to tell Tsukishima what the Nekoma really meant to him.

It wasn't information he minded sharing with the blond, though it was definitely personal. He'd wonder about why that was later. For now....

"Here she is," Ukai said, the words shaking Kuroo out of his memories. "Still the toughest one in the bay if I'm being honest. It's been awhile since she's had a real set of pilots to do her justice."

Kuroo swallowed the lump in his throat, looking at the Marshal with unconcealed joy. Ukai's smile was surprisingly soft, a gentle one Kuroo was sure he didn't show to everyone.

"As if anything could take her down," Kuroo said with a light chuckle, straining to keep his eyes fixed on something other that the Jaeger. If he did, he'd get too swept up.

He hadn't realized how strong the urge was, to be a pilot again. Fuck up or not, it was what he loved. He pitied himself every morning and night, seldom got any sleep, but at the end of the day, he would always come back to this.

Ukai's strong hand came up to tighten around Kuroo's shoulder, as if sanctioning Kuroo's feelings. "It's really great to have you back Tetsurou," he said in a low voice, and the meaning behind the words didn't go unnoticed.

You're needed. Wanted.

A real pilot.

They both glanced up to the red shell, savoring every detail no matter how beat up, like old men at the end of a war.

Except, it wasn't the end of the war. Far from it. Kaiju attacks were becoming more and more frequent, sometimes within days of the last. More lives would be lost, more cities crumbled, and Kuroo was sure his stories from the past would pale in comparison to the stuff he'd be having to face now.

That was fine with him. He'd deal with the horrors so future ones could be prevented. He'd fight the kaijus until his last breath, and he'd handle the healing in his own time, once those sons of bitches stayed sealed in their own world beneath the sea.

The Nekoma was ready for him to take up the challenge, and so was he.

"She was waiting for you," Ukai whispered, almost to himself, the awed statement resonating deep within Kuroo's soul.

Yeah, she was.

"And she's even better now, but all that engineer talk is gibberish to me," Ukai said, turning to the end of the viewing platform and drawing Kuroo's attention away. "I'll let him tell you all the specs."

But Kuroo didn't hear much of anything Ukai said, his focus completely stolen away as the newcomer approached. In the darkened lighting of the Jaeger bay, he could say without a doubt now, Tsukishima glowed.

Kuroo's eyes widened in recognition as he stood face to face with the blond, the slightly impish grin on the other's face making Kuroo's own blood rush in excitement.

Just a J-tech worker huh? My ass.

"Kuroo this is Tsukishima Kei, one of our top engineers and head of the Jaeger restoration program," Ukai informed, already beginning to walk away. "He'll answer any questions you might have. Make sure and rest up for tomorrow, pilot auditions start early."

"Yes sir," Kuroo replied, eyes not leaving Tsukishima's even as he heard Ukai's footsteps fade into nothing. When only the sounds of blowtorches and engine work remained, Kuroo stepped a bit closer, gladly occupying Tsukishima's personal space. "So...head of the Jaeger restoration project? I don't think that qualifies as just a tech worker you know, unless the titles have changed?"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, his hand rising to wipe at his lips and hide the ever growing smile. Kuroo wished he didn't, but it was cute in its own way.

Tsukishima's grip on his clipboard tightened, and he sidestepped Kuroo, approaching the Nekoma slowly. "It's a meaningless title, I'm no better than anyone else."

Somehow I don't think that's true.

Tsukishima Kei, in the half a day Kuroo had known him, was definitely far from average. Call it intuition on Kuroo's part.

"I'll probably have to fight you on that later, once I see you at work," Kuroo said with a smirk, sliding up to the blond with relaxed ease. Kuroo wasn't usually uncomfortable with physical intimacy to begin with, but the familiarity of standing near Tsukishima was different. They barely knew each other, but...it felt like Kuroo just knew where to be. Like somehow being at Tsukishima's side was a post he'd gotten used to for years versus hours.

Weird but, not unwelcome.

"And speaking of your work, tell me about my girl!" Kuroo gestured with wide arms to the Nekoma, once again marveling at the renovated body. To say he was excited would be an understatement.

He half expected Tsukishima to make fun of him for it, but the blond only smiled softly at the machine, eyes scanning it as if he could see all the mechanisms and inner workings. Kuroo could practically hear the cogs in his mind turning effortlessly, a well oiled mental machine. It made his heart burn with content, knowing that someone like Tsukishima had taken care of his Jaeger all this time. The gratefulness surged up in a tidal wave inside him, and he found himself leaning a bit closer to the blond.

"Very well. She has a double core nuclear reactor, a new fluid synapse system," Tsukishima began, slender fingers gliding down his clipboard, probably more out of habit than anything else. Somehow, Kuroo didn't think Tsukishima needed to be reminded of much when it came to the machines he obviously cared for so deeply. "An iron hull with hyper torque, and forty engine block muscle strands. You could say she's...one of the kind I guess. Definitely one of the most powerful ones based on specs alone. Anyone could see that..."

The blond trailed off, his shoulders squaring in a new show of haughtiness, as if someone had once challenged his opinion on the subject.

Yeah, some idiot, Kuroo thought.

Curiously, Kuroo glanced down at a neighboring stall, the one housing Daishou's own Jaeger. The Hebi stood dormant, the design sleeker and less clunky than the Nekoma. Kuroo still stood by his own Jaeger when it came to power and overall strength, but it was obvious each Jaeger possessed its own unique gifts.

"I mean, Daishou's still wins in the speed department," Kuroo observed aloud, not bothering to hide his grimace as he spoke the syllables of the other pilot's name like they were grimy. "But--"

"Being fast is overrated," Tsukishima cut in, his smirk devilish in a way much too attractive to be fair. "And if you're a good pilot, it doesn't matter."

Ah right, the motto.

Somehow, hearing Tsukishima speak with such conviction lessened the initial blow of the words. Kuroo knew the lesson well, the true value of a top tier pilot. It had never really left him. Ever since his own accident, he pondered it a lot, wondering if he was fit to be in a Jaeger, whether or not he was worthy of anything. While most of these insecurities had washed away by then, he still had the nightmares, still felt the dull ache spreading like twisting vines in his heart whenever he thought too hard about it. It gutted him, spilling all his contents onto the soiled floor while his skin burned and his mind screamed.

Too much. Too much.

But the truth rang louder.

"A Jaeger is only as good as its pilot, I know," Kuroo admitted, voice soft and pitiful, barely heard over the sounds of power saws and machinery. The room around him fogged up, his feet sinking into the floor like he was drowning, and all the noises slowed down to an unbearable octave. 

But even through all that, he couldn't help but feel his fingers itch to man the Jaeger's controls, his body wanting nothing more than to step inside the machine and reclaim his post.

And before he did that...

"Well," Kuroo croaked, sniffling as he adopted a rueful smile. "Let's hope I can find a good co-pilot at least..."

He didn't bother admitting how little faith he had in finding someone who trusted him, but he was pretty sure Tsukishima knew already.

The blond was studying him intently, and Kuroo turned to meet the stare dead on, no matter how pathetic he looked. After all, war and battle were no time for tears or nostalgia, especially those brought on by regret. Soon, someone else would be inside his head, and he'd have nowhere to hide.

Kuroo wouldn't lose this opportunity because he couldn't reel himself in. He'd been fighting with himself for years to make it back to this place, and he'd redeem himself no matter what.

Somehow, the rush of such determination only made his eyes water more, and he cursed himself. He half expected Tsukishima to turn away, pretend like nothing had happened and let Kuroo retain some of his dignity. It might've been the polite thing to do, he guessed, but maybe Tsukishima wasn't a fan of that route.

In the next moment, Tsukishima wordlessly handed Kuroo a handkerchief, pure white and monogrammed with his calligraphic initials. Kuroo stared, stunned, first at the fabric, and then at the owner, watching as Tsukishima's eyes filled with an all too familiar fogginess.

It felt like a punch to the gut, seeing how he felt reflected in another's eyes, especially when the last thing Tsukishima should be feeling was sadness. Kuroo should've felt guilty, ashamed even, but he just couldn't. All he could seem to process was the gentle calm in Tsukishima's face. The blond bit his lip in hesitation, but didn't back down, his fingers curling tighter around the cloth.

Tsukishima glared at his own hand in the next instant, as if offended him that he couldn't do anything more, like he couldn't give Kuroo something better to reassure him. Kuroo wanted to tell him he didn't need anything else, because the one gesture was already close to making him break.

Tsukishima inclined his head forward, his voice hoarse but leaving no room for arguments. "Akiteru did the same thing before every mission. I always wondered if he'd ever stop crying. But...he didn't mind it, crying, so..."

So neither should you.

All the air in Kuroo's lungs flew out, his shoulders quaking at the sanction of his tears. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. His body hunched forward slightly, trying to curl in towards the blond as he reached out to grab the handkerchief with a tight grip. His fingers slid against Tsukishima's, wrapping around the slender, outstretched digits like they were his only support. The blond didn't flinch from the contact, and Kuroo suddenly thought that maybe, just maybe, Tsukishima would've gladly shouldered some of Kuroo's weight had he crumbled.

But this, this was enough.

Kuroo's felt the silk fibers brush his skin as he brought it up to his face. It soaked up the the tears easily, catching each one when Kuroo stopped resisting them.

--

Sometime later, when the tears had subsided, Kuroo's mind managed to focus on some more imminent threats...

"So, about the whole co-pilot thing..." Kuroo whispered as he and Tsukishima walked through the rest of the Shatterdome. It was supposed to be a formal tour, but Kuroo figured once you cry in front of someone, all need for professionalism kind of goes out the window. Not to mention the fact it was just easy to talk to Tsukishima, safe even.

"You're worried you won't be compatible with anyone?" Tsukishima cut in, pointing at a piece of tech for show as their private conversation continued. "Your combat level is rather high...I guess."

Kuroo couldn't help but smirk, nudging Tsukishima playfully as the blond glared.

"You guess huh? Don't worry, you won't need to guess anymore after tomorrow. You'll see I'm the best there is," Kuroo said, puffing out his chest. It wasn't even a lie. It was hard to keep up a physical dialogue with him, which was why finding potential co-pilots had always been so damn rigorous. Kenma and him only managed because they'd known each other so long. Now he'd have to find his partner the old fashioned way, and part of him knew it wouldn't be a smooth transition.

At the thought, Kuroo winced. "And well...it's that but...it's kind of obvious no one here really trusts me. Which kind of fucks with the whole 'connection' bit. So I feel like tryouts are gonna be awkward as hell."

"Mm," Tsukishima hummed thoughtfully, gesturing to a control panel which Kuroo gave a fake gasp at. "I wouldn't worry that much. I hand selected all six candidates. None are too outspoken or annoying, they just want the chance to be in a Jaeger. I doubt they'll give you any issues. The real test will be whether or not they can keep up."

"Wait, you picked them?" Kuroo said, a little too loudly, causing some of the other workers nearby to give him less than welcoming looks. Whatever, nothing new there.

"I'm the head of the Jaeger restoration program, remember?" Tsukishima sang, eyes glinting. "If you're gonna be a pilot, I have to make sure everything runs smoothly for you. That includes finding you a co-pilot, genius."

"Snooty," Kuroo said with a smirk. He sighed, a strange rush of relief coursing through him. "But thank god honestly. I trust you."

Tsukishima's eyes widened a fraction, the tops of his cheeks dusted with a lovely shade of pink, and Kuroo couldn't help but feel prideful at being the cause. It was a little unfair though, how excited he became with every knew expression Tsukishima showed him.

"Stupid," Tsukishima whispered, but he didn't bother hiding his smile this time.

"Well now, isn't this sweet?" A voice, light and teasing drifted into their bubble, and Kuroo actually flinched from the suddenness of it. He saw Tsukishima's eye twitch, but other than that, the blond didn't seem surprised.

"Oikawa, what do you want?" Tsukishima asked, clearly displeased.

Oikawa. Oikawa Tooru.

Shit, was there anyone Tsukishima didn't know?

The brunet in front of them gave a measly shrug, smile razor sharp but strangely analytical. It wasn't a far cry from Tsukishima's own calculated stares, but the intent was definitely different. While Tsukishima only strove to take in information, Oikawa was pulling double duty.

Yeah, this look was meant to intimidate, and it was doing a hell of a job.

"It's been a while since I've seen you talk so much, I had to see what kind of person our new recruit was," Oikawa said, his eyes widening in mock surprise. "Oh, but I guess you're not technically new are you? Must be nerve-wracking--"

"Oikawa," Tsukishima snapped, but Kuroo grabbed his shoulder, soothing the hostility before it had the chance to bubble to the surface.

If he hid too much about himself, he'd just fuck up again. No use letting people get the best of him, it was always better to own up to his own shit. He'd learned that the hard way, but it was valuable all the same.

"It's alright, I'm not gonna lie about anything," Kuroo said, his smile sheepish. "I am pretty nervous, but Tsukishima's taking care of me, so there's not much to worry about. I'm guessing you're a pilot yeah? It's an honor working with you."

Kuroo bowed, and he actually wasn't kissing ass. Oikawa Tooru was a great pilot, definitely in the top ranks. He'd protected one of Japan's most prominent ports for six years with his partner Iwaizumi, and in that time, only one Kaiju attack made it close to touching land.

The brunet's facade fell in an instant, his brow furrowing in genuine shock. "Oh, thank you. But, Iwaizumi and I retired last year, we work in J-tech now."

Oh.

Kuroo tilted his head, but wasn't too concerned over the new information. Pilots retired all the time for a variety of reasons, it was simply a bit disappointing to know the piloting world had lost a dream team.

"Well, thank you for all you guys have done anyways, you kept a lot of people safe," Kuroo said, and Oikawa's smile turned softer, pleased with the words.

"You don't have to give him too much credit," Tsukishima muttered to his side, to which Oikawa's smile turned smug.

"Oh Kei-chan, you know we're the best of friends!" Oikawa clapped his hands together, turning to address Kuroo once more. "We got off to a rocky start once I retired, but I can't imagine this place without him now. The Shatterdome wouldn't run without our resident Jaeger enthusiast."

"I'm sure," Tsukishima said with the roll of his eyes, but the animosity had long since yielded to fondness. "Don't you have repairs to do?"

"I have to go to the bridge to pick up some supplies for Iwa-chan," Oikawa responded, not missing a beat. His eyes sparkled with a different kind of softness at the mention of his partner, but Kuroo didn't comment on it. It was a no brainer really. The wedding between Oikawa and Iwaizumi might as well have been celebrity news when it had happened years ago.

"His team is the one doing the final modifications on your Nekoma," Oikawa continued, tone playful. "Good luck finding a co-pilot by the way. I'll be excited to watch the test run."

At the reminder, Kuroo winced. "Yeah," he said with a strained laugh. "Can't wait."

"Hmph, if you ask me it's a waste of time," Oikawa mused, reaching up to fiddle with the pen on his ear. "You and Kei-chan obviously get along and his simulator scores are high so, why not just save yourself the trouble and have him as your pilot?"

At the words, Kuroo literally heard Tsukishima choke on air next to him, his lithe body tensing up like a tightly wound coil.

Kuroo turned on him in a flash, grabbing him by the shoulders like Tsukishima would run away given the chance. "You're a pilot?!"

Tsukishima's a pilot.

Right?

Oh god please let him be a pilot.

Tsukishima shook his head rapidly, and for the first time since they'd met, the blond actually started to trip over his words. "W-what, no, I'm--"

"Oh shoot, you didn't know? God, I'm so sorry Kei-chan, silly me," Oikawa said rehearsed sympathy, sounding just about the farthest thing from sorry as he slowly back away. "Well those supplies won't collect themselves. See you guys tomorrow!"

And like that the brunet was gone, like dust in the wind. How sneaky, Kuroo thought, but he was far from hating it in that moment.

If Tsukishima was a pilot, Kuroo's worries would be over. Tsukishima was amazing, smart, and already soothing to be around. Kuroo blended with him and his personality so damn smoothly, and if Tsukishima was trained in combat, he had no doubt they'd compliment each other in a fight.

"Why didn't you say anything? Why aren't you trying out tomorrow?" Kuroo asked rapidly, a whole series of questions ringing in his head. "Oh my god, this is--"

"I'm not a pilot!" Tsukshima raised his voice, the abruptness managing to stop Kuroo in his tracks. The blond cleared his throat, lowering his voice as a couple other workers passed them by with curious glances. "I'm not a pilot..."

"So, Oikawa was lying?" Kuroo asked, mood already deflating.

"Well, no. I'm...technically trained to be a pilot. Combat, Jaeger simulator runs, the standard stuff," Tsukishima admitted, eyes fixed on his clipboard. It was the first time in a while he hadn't talked to Kuroo eye to eye, and Kuroo was beginning to realize he hated not being able to see the other's eyes. "But I've never actually drifted with anyone. I've never piloted a real life Jaeger. So--"

"What are your simulator scores?"

Tsukishima faltered, stunned. "Excuse me?"

"Your simulator scores, what are they?" Kuroo asked again, determined. He wouldn't let Tsukishima sell himself short without any proof, no way in hell.

"Sixty kills," the blond muttered, glaring at the floor. It was unbearably cute, but Kuroo wasn't finished yet.

"Out of how many tries?" He persisted, and judging from the way Tsukishima's eyes closed in defeat, he knew he'd won.

"...sixty-one."

Almost perfect.

"Tsukki...you're incredible! Why haven't you been partnered up before?" Kuroo asked, not missing the weird surge of jealousy which came with the thought. Oh come on, the situation was hypothetical. Seriously brain?

If he could be Tsukishima's co-pilot, Kuroo would be more than honored. But as the excitement in him rose, an afterthought couldn't help but cross his mind. "Unless...maybe you don't want to be a pilot?"

It was a possibility. It would crush Kuroo's hopes, but he wouldn't hold it against the blond. Fighting kaijus wasn't for everyone, it involved a lot of risk and danger. If Tsukishima had his reasons, Kuroo would lay off.

Tsukishima snapping at him was not what he expected.

"Of course I want to be a pilot!" Tsukishima's head came up in a flash, his eyes blazing with newfound passion. It was a far cry from his usual mask of neutrality, and Kuroo was a fan. "You think I'd go through all that training if I didn't? It's what I--"

Tsukishima halted, and his breathing stalled for a good second before giving way to harsh pants. The noise bounced off the concrete walls, and even though Kuroo could hear the sounds of machinery in the distance, all he could make sense of in the world in that moment was Tsukishima.

The blond dropped his clipboard, hands coming up to fix his glasses uselessly. Kuroo didn't rush him. He wanted to hear the whole explanation, wanted to give Tsukishima a chance to be understood. Just like he'd done for Kuroo.

Eventually, Kuroo's hand rose to touch Tsukishima's shoulder again, gentler this time, and the fact that the blond didn't even flinch did nothing but solidify Kuroo's suspicion without even stepping into the ring.

They were compatible.

If Tsukishima noticed, he didn't mention it, but he did take a step closer to Kuroo, close enough that the raven could feel his warm breath hit his skin.

"My brother..." Tsukshima began, voice barely above a whisper. "My brother was one of the best pilots there ever was. Everyone knows that, but..."

But you got to see it, first hand.

It hadn't really occurred to Kuroo before, how proud the blond probably was of Akiteru, whether or not he chose to admit it.

"...it's all I've ever wanted," Tsukishima finished, his thoughts fragmented and scattered. But Kuroo understood. Kuroo understood more than anyone. He belonged in a Jaeger, being a pilot was what he was meant to do with his life. Not even his massive mistake could turn him away from it, so...

"Then...why haven't you done it yet?" Kuroo couldn't help but ask, and in response, Tsukishima threw him a rueful smile. From how close they were, Kuroo could see how long Tsukishima's eyelashes were, a subtle distraction from the way his lips trembled.

Kuroo hadn't exactly stopped to think about it before, but he was beginning to suspect that maybe Tsukishima didn't share things this openly on a normal day, certainly not with someone he'd just met. But, Kuroo guessed he could put it in with the rest of the evidence that pointed him towards the blonde.

"I don't know if you've noticed," Tsukishima began with a shaky sigh. "But I don't get along with others too well, not that I care or anything."

Kuroo smiled as some of the familiar mischief flashed in Tsukishima's eyes. It was becoming a favorite quirk of his.

"But it makes finding a partner hard," Tsukishima admitted. "Akiteru never really wanted me to put myself in danger either, and when he was still working, it was easy to let him convince me of lying low..."

But now?

Tsukishima sighed, biting his lip as his hands clutched his clipboard so tight Kuroo thought it might break. "But now, I wouldn't mind rebelling if all the pieces fell into place."

Tsukishima kept his eyes on Kuroo, the meaning tucked behind the words ringing loud and clear.

"But with you, I would."

Kuroo allowed himself to breath, his other hand joining the first in gripping one of Tsukishima's shoulders. He held onto the blond while the thoughts overcame him, like Tsukishima was already his support system, his partner.

It had happened so fast, maybe too fast, but Kuroo was never one to deny instinct.

He just had one more thing he wanted to know...

"Are you scared?" He asked, whispering into the small space they shared.

He felt Tsukishima tense beneath his hands, inhaling sharply. Their eyes stayed locked, giving Kuroo a full access pass to the war raging in the blond's eyes. Kuroo understood, it was probably the worst question to ask a pilot. No one liked admitting their hesitation, their fear, when it came to a job like this. It was a job that kept the world safe, so in theory, being afraid shouldn't have even been allowed.

They'd all seen the advertisements. Jaeger pilots were strong, brave, courageous. When Kuroo had been growing up, he'd wanted nothing more than to embody each of those traits. He still did.

If Tsukishima was anything like him, which Kuroo knew he was, the resistance to the question would be doubled. Tsukishima was prideful, and so was he. Kuroo didn't like to mess up, to make mistakes, but boy had he fucked that up. He hated losing too, more than anything, something very probable when it came to Jaeger piloting.

Yet he came back. Despite all that he came back. And what all that boiled down to was fear, and he knew it. He hated to come out and say it, but it was true. He was horribly, insanely afraid.

And if Tsukishima was going to be in his head, trying to make sense of Kuroo's very essence, he'd have to understand that, and push forward despite it. They both would.

Maybe Kuroo was being unfair, or maybe he just hated feeling so alone in this, but if Tsukishima was as brilliant as Kuroo thought he was, he shouldn't have to worry.

He wouldn't worry, because...

"Yes," Tsukishima said, glaring right at Kuroo. "Whatever, I am. But don't think for a second that something so stupid would stop me."

Tsukishima's eyes seemed to widen at his own admission, but the surprise quickly settled back into stubbornness. The cuteness of it served as only a momentary distraction before curiosity took over, because there was an obvious story buried somewhere there.

Not that Kuroo really had to ask. He'd know soon enough.

He smiled, grip tightening on the blond's shoulders from the sheer joy he was feeling.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Kuroo said, and it was far from a lie.

He'd found his co-pilot. 

--

He'd almost found his co-pilot.

"What do you mean he still has to try out? He's been through the basics!" Kuroo moved swiftly behind Ukai as they made their way to the gym floor the next morning, already exhausted from the hoops he'd been jumping through.

If it had been up to Kuroo, Tsukishima would've already been signed on as his pilot. There was no need to even go through tryouts, Kuroo had a sixth sense about these kind of things. They were definitely drift compatible, and Tsukishima was obviously skilled. There should've been zero issues.

But of course...

"Kuroo, I'm not allowing you to bring in a rookie without seeing for myself how you move together," Ukai said, stepping into the elevator with Kuroo at his side. "If you really think he's the one, there should be no issues. Just give me the peace of mind, alright?"

No!

"But--"

"Kuroo, that's final." Ukai turned away, lighting a cigarette to fill the silence. Kuroo didn't even feel like making a joke about this being the slowest elevator ever, so he was clearly pissed.

And yeah, Kuroo might've been taking things too far. This was childish, and he knew it. No one got to skip pilot tryouts, it was a right of passage, protocol even. He knew that, he knew it better than anyone.

But that didn't stop his hands from shaking as they climbed the floors, it didn't stop his foot from tapping, or the back of his neck from sweating.

Kuroo sighed to himself, sagging against the metal walls and feeling much too caged in for his own good. In truth, his displeasure for having to go through tryouts didn't stem from his impatience, or even his absolute faith in Tsukishima.

At the end of the day, he really didn't want all those eyes staring at him, judging him. Because he knew most of the spectators didn't actually believe he'd get to pilot his Jaeger again. A good majority of them thought he was going to screw it all up again, and only wanted to be there to witness the brutal fall.

So yeah, if he could avoid that shit, he would. However, the odds didn't seem to be in his favor.

The elevator dinged as it opened to an empty hallway, littered with staffs and training mats but with no personnel in sight. They were probably already waiting in the gym. Ugh.

Fine, let's get this over with.

Before Kuroo could stride off, Ukai grabbed his arm, pulling him back into the privacy of the elevator. Kuroo turned to him, ready to play off his discomfort, but the Marshal's sympathetic stare stopped him in his tracks.

"Sir?"

"Kuroo, listen up. I trust your intuition. You of all people know what's in a good partner," Ukai said softly, eyes flicking to the gym doors at the end of the hall. "But this is protocol. Don't worry about who's watching, just focus on giving it your max effort. These tryouts are important."

The emphasis on the last statement made Kuroo drop his head obediently, nodding once.

"Good. And besides, I don't want you basing such a big decision off of a crush," Ukai said with a huff, and Kuroo's head shot up like a bullet.

The air left him, the blood hot in his veins, and it took everything he had not to yell.

"I'm...I'm not at all! Where did that...where did that even come from?" Kuroo asked, trying his best to keep his voice steady. As if he'd ever do something so amateurish. His rage didn't actually stem from that insult alone, but from the one made to Tsukishima. The blond might've been a rookie when it came to real piloting, but he'd been trained and tested multiple times. Kuroo looked up his scores and they were flawless.

Anyone picking Tsukishima would've been a no brainer.

And yeah, the blond was beautiful, snarky, and a plethora of other amazing things which had nothing to do with piloting. Kuroo felt drawn to him in more ways than one, he'd admit, but that didn't change anything.

Kuroo picked based on compatibility and skill, nothing more. His budding romantic feelings had nothing to do with it, and he was pissed that would be doubted at all.

When it came to the war, he put the safety of others first. People could make jokes all they wanted about how he'd slipped up, but it hardly mattered. Kuroo meant it with everything he had.

"I don't mean to offend either of you, make no mistake. I'm just skeptical," Ukai said, hands rising to placate Kuroo. Maybe he looked more upset than he thought. "I saw you go into his room last night...

"That...nothing happened! We were talking about piloting, and our pasts!" Kuroo threw up his hands, laughing to himself because what else was he supposed to do? He was telling the truth. Tsukishima had filled him in on all the new pilots and their Jaegers, as well as shared some gossip (Kuroo could be obnoxious, sue him, who didn't like hearing about personal drama amidst a kaiju war?). Then, they'd happened to fall asleep together. No big deal.

"Your past?" Ukai said, brow raised.

Kuroo couldn't help it, he fixed the Marshal with the most 'duh' look he could muster.

After their conversation in the Jaeger bay, Kuroo had been positive Tsukishima would be his pilot, and well...

"I figured it would be smart to talk about any past trauma we'd been through," Kuroo explained, knowing it wasn't exactly out of the ordinary to do so. "Just so it wouldn't be so shocking when we drift--"

"If you drift--"

"When we drift," Kuroo repeated. Fuck it, if he had to be a stubborn asshole, he'd be one. He was sure about this decision, and he wouldn't let Ukai doubt Tsukishima or their connection. Kuroo knew the Marshal meant well, and he didn't hate him for it, but now for the first time he couldn't wait to get into that gym and prove him wrong. "When we drift, and our memories come together, it'll be smoother now. And we'll be the perfect team, I know it sir."

And hell, if that didn't convince him, Kuroo was at a true loss.

Ukai stared at him for a long time, eyes shifting between Kuroo and the end of the hall, where all bets would be off. At least for the Marshal they would be. Kuroo didn't have even a shred of doubt.

After a few strained seconds, Ukai finally stepped out of the elevator, not looking back. "I sure hope you're right kid."

Kuroo grinned, following with haste.

"Don't worry sir," he said with a smirk, newfound excitement rising in his chest. "You'll see."

--

The way these trials went down was simple: no weapons other than a wooden staff. The object of the contest was to strike the opposing person four times.

Four strikes marked a win, but winning was far from the point.

When Kuroo emerged from the gym lockers wearing a tank top and sweats, Tsukishima was standing next to the Marshal at the foot of the ring, dressed similarly.

Tsukishima's fingers were curled tight around the clipboard in his hands, and he was rocking on the heels of his feet, probably as geared up as Kuroo felt.

It sent a pleasant chill up Kuroo's spine, and he grinned at the blond shamelessly as he grabbed a wooden staff from the wall. He was more than pleased when he got a challenging smirk in return.

Kuroo toed off his boots, setting them against the wall, and made his way to the gym mats. According to Ukai, there were a few candidates he had to face before Tsukishima could give it a shot, but Kuroo still wasn't worried.

He knew the point of these matches were less about finding a victor, and more about creating a physical dialogue, but it didn't change the fact that Kuroo knew he had way more combat experience than any of his candidates, given what Tsukishima had told him. They were good, great even. Kuroo was just better.

The point of building a physical dialogue was to exchange equal blows, and to see whether or not the two opponents conducted themselves with similar fighting style and strategies. If Kuroo got more than two blows in before his opponent even had one, he already considered it a lost cause.

His co-pilot needed to keep up with him, no room for argument. He refused to water down his moves for their sake.

Let's see what your hand picked candidates have to offer, huh Tsukki?

Kuroo felt strangely at ease as his feet hit the cool mat. The eyes on him should've been suffocating, especially when they belonged to people who were less than friendly. It was lucky Daishou hadn't bothered to show up, but Kuroo still heard the whispers, the rumors circulating throughout the small space.

Somehow though, the air of combat acted like a shield from all of it, and his mind was focused on the fight, and the fight alone. Besides, knowing Tsukishima would probably chew anyone out if they spoke up, Kuroo felt a lot better.

His opponent stepped up, a rookie from the looks of it, considering Kuroo hadn't seen him around in his day. Plus, from what Tsukishima had told him, most of the experienced pilots these days already had a permanent partner. After Oikawa and Iwaizumi had retired, the next best team with the most kills was that of Semi Eita and Shirabu Kenjirou.

Kuroo and Tsukishima would change that, gladly.

Taking one last breath to ready himself, Kuroo waited for Tsukishima's smooth voice to carry through the air, and he cared to hear nothing else.

"First match. Start."

--

Now, Kuroo hadn't totally slacked off in his time away. He'd worked out, kept in shape. Still, he suspected to be at least a little rusty when he returned.

It didn't seem to be the case.

Hooking his staff behind his opponent's leg, Kuroo sent him to the ground, his fourth strike. Kuroo was finally starting to sweat, but only because this was the fifth tryout.

"Four points to zero," Tsukishima's voice drifted into the ring, and Kuroo couldn't help but detect the slightest hint of smugness there. Glancing to the viewing platform, he could see Tsukishima's eyes over the top of his clipboard, shining and analytical.

Okay, maybe Kuroo was trying extra hard to show off too, but getting that look was worth it alright?

Ukai looked less impressed, and more exhausted. As if he'd really expected one of these people to be able to hold their own with Kuroo. It wasn't meant to be an insult, it was simply a difference in experience and physical compatibility.

Which Ukai didn't seem to get. Obviously they were wasting time, all because the old man didn't want to admit Kuroo might be right.

And so far, he had been right. Kuroo had yet to find a match, plain and simple. Somehow the statement felt less heavy than he'd anticipated though, now that he had Tsukishima watching. None of the glares and whispers circulating around him felt nearly as fierce or important.

The crushing blow of not finding any compatible pilots wasn't there, and Kuroo relished in the fact.

"Next opponent," Ukai said, rubbing his temples. He probably looked as ticked as Kuroo felt, and the raven wanted nothing more than to put an end to this.

"With all due respect Marshal," Kuroo said, somewhat breathless from the workout as he approached Ukai. "That was the sixth candidate, and still nothing. Can we give Tsukishima a shot now? Please?"

Tsukishima's eyes lit up as he looked towards the Marshal, his feet already moving as if prepared for the green light.

"Tsukishima is eighth on the list. No earlier, no later," Ukai said, voice dropping an octave. "I advise you to remember patience, Kuroo."

He ducked his head, his lips curling in displease. He wasn't willing to show Ukai how annoyed he was though. "Yes sir, he muttered, curling his hand tighter around his sparring staff.

One more person. Just one more, and then you'll see.

Kuroo huffed to himself, rolling his shoulders back as he took his stance on the mat. His seventh candidate had just walked up, and Kuroo didn't feel like wasting any time. Things were getting ridiculous. If Ukai truly didn't believe he and Tsukishima would be compatible, he should've just let them get it over with. That would prove his point, if he were correct.

Which he's not.

But whatever, if Ukai wanted to be proven wrong even further, so be it.

Tsukishima apparently shared the sentiment. "Match six. Start."

Kuroo swung his staff, and as anticipated, it was blocked. His opponent stumbled back from the sheer force of the blow, and Kuroo used that moment to strike the other's leg.

That's one.

Kuroo stepped back, bringing his staff up to block a succession of hits, one right after the other. The harsh sounds of the wood hitting hard enough to split bounced off the walls, but it didn't derail Kuroo in the slightest. His eyes were trained on his opponent, never letting the distractions get to him.

He spun his staff, striking the side of his opponent with his left hand, and bringing it back to his right in time to block another blow.

That's two.

One thing Kuroo loved about combat was the sheer fluidity of it. Blow for blow, every movement had a reaction, flowing from one exchange to the next. Like the blood in his veins or the water in a stream, he kept going, and years of training made sure he kept winning too. He could see every next movement, could use instinct to respond to all his opponent's moves, until a strategy became clear in his head.

And then, well, he used it against them.

Kuroo swung, strong and without hesitation, again and again. His opponent couldn't keep up with the blow, giving Kuroo the exact opening he needed. Kuroo got behind him, bringing the staff to the other's neck, and sent him to the ground.

Game over.

The gym went silent apart from a few claps, most onlookers too stunned to offer any congratulations. Kuroo had blown through all his candidates in less than thirty minutes, and it probably looked as if all his hopes were lost.

"Four points to zero," Tsukishima's voice filled the silence, reminding Kuroo that he hadn't lost anything in the slightest.

He couldn't help but smile to himself, the giddiness already building inside him. He gladly helped his opponent up, offering some advice and congratulating him on a job well done. The last thing Kuroo wanted to be was a bad sport, and plus, he didn't need more enemies in this world. 

Once the mat was cleared, Kuroo allowed himself to look at the Marshal as he tossed his staff to the floor. It clattered on the cold concrete, and suddenly all eyes were on Ukai. One day Kuroo would get in a lot of trouble for being such a shit about things, but oh well. He smirked lazily, crossing his arms as he spoke. "So, eighth you said? Right?"

The Marshal's eye twitched, but he didn't hesitate to take Tsukishima's clipboard and send him forward.

"Last match," Ukai said, addressing Kuroo with a challenging glint in his eyes. "Make it count."

You bet.

Tsukishima turned before Kuroo could speak, throwing him a new staff in one fluid movement. Kuroo caught it, barely, his eyes trained on the fire which was slowly building in Tsukishima's.

The blond looked back towards the Marshal, no hesitation present.

"We will."

--

The first thing Kuroo realized about Tsukishima's fighting was how gentle it looked. Tsukishima never exerted more energy that need be, and his blows looked and sounded more like taps.

But they were far from it.

With each strike Kuroo could feel the full power and ferocity behind it, and he actually had to do his best to keep up, to not stumble or miss a block.

His eyes locked on Tsukishima's as his body reacted to every movement and breeze of the staff in the blond's hand, ears ringing as it hit his own.

Come to think of it, maybe gentle hadn't been the best word to describe this. There was nothing gentle about how they were fighting. The strikes were brutal, the sweat building, and they'd both been hit two times.

Tied.

Tsukishima's gaze was all Kuroo could seem to focus on, the pure intensity of it outshining the overhead lights, rendering everything inside Kuroo immobile.

But he couldn't do that could he? He had to be a good partner, he had to add to the dialogue.

Kuroo smirked as Tsukishima blocked a quick round of his strikes, his short hair starting to grow matted against his forehead. It was a good look on him, but Kuroo probably shouldn't have been paying much attention to that.

He leaped forward, assaulting Tsukishima with another round of quick strikes, none of which met flesh. Then, Tsukishima pushed against Kuroo's staff on his third block, driving him away with way more strength than anyone could've anticipated.

Kuroo wasn't surprised, though the gasps of people around him made pride bubble in his chest.

Tsukishima was amazing, and he'd expected no less.

They kept on like this for a few more minutes, the longest match yet. Push, pull. Strike, block. Equal blows, smooth movements. Everything Kuroo had wanted from a candidate, from a partner.

Because that's what Tsukishima already was, and anyone could see it. They moved together perfectly, in just the right way, and then it finally occurred to Kuroo, what this felt like. Not a fight, not even a conversation.

A dance.

At the thought, Kuroo laughed, overcome with stupid joy which he doubted anyone would be able to take away from him. He'd missed feeling like that.

Tsukishima smirked right back at him, before he brought his staff around his back in less than a second, landing a clean strike to Kuroo's side.

Damn, Kuroo thought, but there wasn't a trace of disappointment in his expression.

Kuroo managed to land his third blow at the same time Tsukishima landed his, and before Kuroo knew it, the blond landed the fourth, signaling the end of the match.

Kuroo couldn't help the desire to keep going, but at the same time, he knew it wouldn't be the last instance where they worked together.

It was only the beginning.

As Tsukishima withdrew, the blond bit his lip, suppressing a smile. "Four points to three."

"Four points to three," Kuroo repeated, grinning back. "Good job rookie."

The urge to sweep Tsukishima up in his arms was quickly derailed by Ukai clearing his throat, and Kuroo was immediately reminded of their very public situation. Both he and Tsukishima approached the Marshal, stiff and obedient as Kuroo willed the flush on his face to go down.

Ah whatever, doesn't matter now.

Kuroo looked up at the Marshal, awaiting the verdict. There was only one way this could go, now that Ukai had seen them in action, but Kuroo couldn't help the small pit of fear in his chest.

He wanted Tsukishima as his partner, his friend, his...whatever they ended up being. All he knew was that he wouldn't pilot the Nekoma without him, and he wouldn't let anyone change his mind.

At the thought, he couldn't help but squeeze Tsukishima's hand tight, pleased when the blond squeezed in return.

Give and take, back and forth. That's how it should always be.

Ukai dipped his head forward, analyzing them both with the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Report to the Jaeger bay in an hour pilots. That's an order."

Kuroo exhaled, and fuck it, he pulled Tsukishima into a hug, the relief overtaking him as they both gave an affirmative.

"Yes sir."

Kuroo felt his eyes mist over for some unknown reason, thinking of the Nekoma, and how soon, he'd be reunited with her. And this time, he wouldn't be alone. No matter how scared he got, or how cruel the world became, he'd never have to be alone again.

[stargazerdaisy]

Ok somewhat strange or maybe even silly ask. Skye hasn't seen snow in person until starting to travel with Team Bus. Skyeward moment, please! Can be AU without any pesky hydra stuff. ❤

In the second week she was with them, he found her face plastered against the plane window, knees bent and her feet tucked under her, staring out at the clouds.  It was an unexpected sight, for once her face wasn’t focused on a glowing screen or her mouth wasn’t running a mile a minute.  She was rather still, but attention completely focused on what was going on outside.  He snuck a look out the other window, trying to figure out what had her so rapt.  All he could see were clouds in the darkening sky.  

“Um….Skye?” he asked.

“Yeah?” she replied, not even turning around to acknowledge him.

“What are you looking at?”

She rocked back on her heels slightly and rotated to face him.  “The snow!”

“Snow?” It confused him that snow would capture someone’s attention so much.  It was just frozen water.  Was that really all she was seeing?

“Yeah!” Her eyes were alight with excitement as she continued, “There are all of these tiny flakes on the window and they’re amazing and have you ever seen how different they all are?  I know I’ve always heard they were, but actually seeing it is pretty sweet.”

Still a bit confused, but not wanting to ruin her fun, he simply nodded.  “Okay then, rookie.  Don’t forget training in the morning.”

“Sure, whatever.”  She waved him off while she focused back on the swirling flakes outside the plane.  

Shaking his head slightly, he left her pressed up against the thick plastic, surely leaving a nose print.

It was sometime in February and they were in Minnesota, on a mission that has quickly become the definition of boring-as-hell.  The 0-8-4 they were investigating turned out to be a total waste of time, just a weird compilation of coincidences involving an actual freak lightning storm that had an entire town convinced Thor had returned.  Now that everything had been sorted out and the citizens assured they were safe from any errant Asgardians, the team was trudging back to the BUS.  The temperature was well below anything Skye had ever experienced, hovering somewhere around the 18* mark.  

“I’m never going to feel my feet, ever again,” she groaned.

“I don’t think that’s quite possible,” Jemma said.  “We’ve only been outside for a few minutes and your skin isn’t exposed, beyond your face.  Are your boots not thick enough?  Can you still move your toes?  Frostbite isn’t anything to take lightly.”

“It’s fine, Simmons,” Skye said.  “I’m just freezing my ass off.  I didn’t know it could be this cold.  How does anyone live out here?”

“Same as people live anywhere.  You just need to get the right gear,” Ward informed her.  “Thick coats, waterproof gloves, wool socks and heavy duty boots.  It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Of course, you would say that,” Skye said rolling her eyes.  “You’re probably part grizzly bear and actually enjoy this weather.”

Ward shrugged.  “I grew up in Massachusetts.  I guess I’m used to it.  Plus, you run missions in Helsinki and Moscow enough and you stop worrying about it.”

Skye snorted.  “Okay then, Robot.”

The team continued on, shuffling through the evening, bracing themselves against the cold.  Finally, reaching the BUS, Fitz and Simmons practically ran up the ramp as soon as May lowered it.  Ward was about to follow, when a hand shot out and grabbed his arm.  

“Wait,” Skye whispered, face turned up to the clouds overhead.

“What?  Did you see something?” Ward asked quickly, immediately on alerts and searching for threats.  

Skye giggled softly.  “No.  Calm down, Super Spy.  I meant, look!”  She gestured at the air around them.  “It’s snowing!”

He blinked for a quick moment, processing her words and turning off the Specialist reaction.  Once he let his arms relax and lower from reaching for the gun in his holster, he noticed the tiny white pieces of fluff floating down.  They swirled and danced in the wind around them.  Skye was standing still, just breathing in the cold air, letting the small crystals brush across her cheeks.  

“O….kay?” he asked.  “Weren’t you just complaining about how cold you are?”

“Yeah, but now there’s snow!” she said excitedly.

“Which is cold.  And it gets your clothes all wet, which makes you colder,” he reminded.

“Just hush and let me enjoy this,” she admonished.  After a moment she broke the quiet, “Would you believe I’ve never really seen snow?  I spent most of my life in Texas and then California.  Neither place are exactly known for their harsh winters.”

Hearing that small confession from her made it click into place for Ward.  “Alright then, Rookie.  We’ll hang out here for a bit.”

Skye looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.  “Who are you and what you have done with my SO?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, flustered.

“It’s pretty rare you indulge me like this,” she said.

“Do you want me to make you inside right now?”

She was quick to shake her head.  “Not at all.  This is rather nice.  Good to see you have it in you.”

“It’ll be a few minutes until they’re ready to take off anyway.  Might as well enjoy your first experience with snow.”  He made it sound so matter of fact and simple.

Skye grinned, grateful to see this side of him.  “Thanks.”

Something was nudging her gently, pulling her out of her dreams.  “No,” she grumbled and tried to bury her head deeper in her pillow.

A low chuckle came from her right, then was followed by kisses being pressed onto her shoulder.  “Come on, Skye,” he murmured.  “You need to get up.”

“No!” she repeated, pulling the blanket over her head and rolling away from him.  “It’s too early.”

“I know it is,” he said soothingly, brushing his hand up her arm under the covers.  “But there’s something you need to come see.”

A soft sigh escaped her and she rolled on her back.  “What is so important that you’re waking me up at - wait, what time is it? - at 6:30am?! On a Saturday?!”

“I can’t tell you,” was his reply.

“Ward, if you want me to get my ass out of this perfectly comfortable and might I add, deliciously warm, bed before the sun is even going to come up, you better give me a good reason right now,” she demanded.

“It’s a surprise,” he explained.  “I promise you’ll love it though.”

She fixed him with a suspicious glare.  He hoped his reassuring smile would be enough to convince.  After another moment, she relented.  “Fine, you win.  I’m getting up.”

Seeing she was actually getting out the bed, Ward drew back.  “I’ll go get the coffee.  Dress as warm as you can.”

“Dress warm?  What do you mean dress warm?  Ward!” she yelled as he exited the room.

Ten minutes later, she met him in the kitchen, looking adorably grumpy.  “I want my coffee and an explanation.”

Ward gave her that smile that always seemed to soften her.  “Here’s your coffee,” he said handing the mug over.  “As soon as you’re ready, get your coat and gloves on and follow me.”

“Where?!” she said exasperated.

“You’ll see.”

“Grant Douglas Ward, you are one of the most infuriating people I have ever met.”

“I know,” he grinned, kissing her on the cheek.  “But you love me.”

Skye sighed again, but the smile on her own face told him she wasn’t really that upset.  “That I do.  Okay, let’s go outside to this mysterious surprise.”

They made sure coats were zipped all the way, mittens were secured, and hats were donned.  As they approached the door, he turned and winked at her one more time.  “Here we go,” he said.

As the door slid open, Skye gasped, seeing the landscape.  A thick blanket of white coated everything she could see.  Branches were bending under the weight of the snow, bowing down to the ground.  Grass, rocks, and the driveway were buried deep under the inches of snow that had fallen overnight.  

She spun to look at him, eyes shining.  “It snowed!” she cried.

“It did,” he agreed.  “And I thought you’d like to see it unspoiled, before anyone else walked or drove around in it.”

“Can…..we go out?” she asked timidly.

“Why do you think I made you get dressed so warmly?”

The sound of excitement that slipped out of her was very close to a squeal and she took off out into the winter.  An hour later, there had been snow angels, a small lopsided snowman, plenty of catching the still falling flakes on their tongues, and a surprise attack snowball fight, instigated by a giggling Skye.  What she lacked in technique, she made up for in enthusiasm, sending flurries of barely formed snowballs his way.  Seeing she was not going to slow down anytime soon, Ward knew he needed to end the onslaught.  Creeping around where she couldn’t see him, he snuck up behind her, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her down into the snow with him.  Peals of laughter echoed against the trees and nearby building as she settled on top of his chest.

“Okay, you win,” she chuckled.

“Do you surrender or do I need to introduce this handful of snow down your neck?” he threatened teasingly.

“I surrender!  I surrender!” she squeaked.  

Her joy sank into his bones as he stared up at her - cheeks flushed, hair escaping from the braid capped by her beanie, and a smile that could light up even the darkest night.  She was a sight to behold and he thanked his lucky stars, not for the first time, that she had chosen him.

“So, was it worth it?” he asked.

“Was what worth it?”

“Getting up early and coming out into the cold,” he answered.

Skye pretended to think for a moment.  “I don’t know.  I mean, I guess it’s been okay.  If you like that kind of thing.”

“I like your kind of thing,” he said in a suggestive tone.

Skye laughed again.  “One track mind there, Ward.  Not to mention, you’re the one that made me put on all the extra layers.  Kinda shot yourself in the foot there.”

“Well then, guess we need to fix that.”

“Not out here we don’t!” she cried.  

“Okay then,” he said, suddenly sitting up and climbing to his feet.  “Let’s head in and warm up with a shower.”

“Oooooh, I like your plan,” she replied, letting him pull up.  She used the momentum to crash into his chest and drape her arms around his neck.  “Thank you for bringing me out here.”

“You’re welcome.  I know you love the snow.”  His smile was barely there, but love shone in his eyes.  

“I love you,” she said simply.  

“I love you too,” he said back, then leaned down to meet her lips with his own.

[plathwasaperfectionist]

Chances are, if you’re in college, you’re pretty new to living on your own and managing your own money. Especially if you have to pay for things on your own, but even if you’re just making loan money last through the semester, it can be overwhelming. I’ve been paying my own way for almost two years now, and I’ve learned a TON about how to save money, prioritize, and live off more than ramen and bottom-shelf vodka (although bottom-shelf wine is still fine by me). Here are the best tips I have to offer:

1. Cook at home

Meal plans are a rip-off, and ordering food all the time is a waste of money. It’s so much cheaper (not to mention healthier) to buy your own groceries and cook your own meals. Even if you’re in a dorm kitchen with a mini fridge in your room, you can do a lot with some basic kitchen supplies and groceries. I love this website to find recipes--it breaks each recipe down by the cost per serving, so you know exactly how much each meal is costing you. Once you realize you can make filling food yourself relatively easily for a small fraction of what you would pay even at a fast food place, it’s hard to justify the expense. Just tonight I made a huge pot (probably six servings) of three-bean chili for less than 5 dollars total.

(And 1.5. If you commute or have long days, bring food with you. Buy a set of Tupperware with varying sizes (some big enough for salads or soups, some smaller for snacks or sandwiches), and double your recipes so it’s easy to bring leftovers with you to campus every day.)

2. Eat more plant-based meals

Meat and dairy are fucking expensive, and you’ll save money by using less of it or by cutting it out entirely. I’m not talking about buying processed meat-free substitutes because that’s even more expensive. Instead, try using things like grains, beans (dried instead of canned is even cheaper!), or tofu in dishes instead so you can fill up on cheaper food that’s better for you. When you can, substitute frozen produce for fresh to save money too (save the fresh stuff for salads, roasting, or eating raw--those are the only times you can really tell the difference).

3. Stop buying coffee

If you drink coffee daily (I do!), then you should have a coffee machine and make it yourself. A travel mug, real coffee machine (no Keurigs!), and a tub of coffee grounds is way cheaper. At Starbucks/Dunkin/Tim Horton’s you’re paying three dollars a cup for something you could make at home for pennies. Even if you drink lattes/something espresso-based instead of drip coffee, a stovetop espresso maker, milk frother, and a bottle of your favorite syrup works out to be cheaper over time, and you can control exactly what goes into your drink! 

4. Download Honey

Honey is a browser extension that automatically checks for coupon codes/cash back options when you’re shopping online. In my experience, it works everywhere but Amazon (their discount codes tend to be product-specific so the odds are low that you’re buying the exact right thing), but it can net you some pretty major savings with little to no effort.

5. Move the fuck out of your dorm (maybe)

At least at my school, living in a shared dorm room costs literally twice what it costs me to live off campus in a large two-bedroom apartment (my boyfriend and I use the second bedroom as a home office). Also watch out for any school-affiliated apartments that lure you in with amenities like a pool, rec center, or game room--they tend to be even more expensive, and you probably won’t use the extra amenities that often. Do your research, of course, because there are some places with a high cost of living where rent will definitely cost more than the dorms. That said, you’re most likely paying extra for things like cleaning and maintenance when you could easily do that yourself (and not have to share a bathroom with twenty strangers either). Move out, feel like an adult, and thank me later.

6. Take care of the things you have

Even if you’re buying cheaper things instead of investment pieces, if you take care of them they should last a long time and save you money on replacements. All of my furniture is hand-me-downs from IKEA, so when I moved into my current apartment I was extra careful to cover the edges of things made out of cheap particle board and make sure that nothing scratched the paint on my bed frame. Don’t treat anything like it’s disposable--being careless with your things can add up.

7. Thrift stores, dollar stores, and discount grocery stores!

I fucking live for the deals I can find at inexpensive stores like these. Chances are, you have these options near you, but you may not have considered shopping there because your family never did. Keep in mind that just because your parents might be able to afford shopping at Wegman’s or Whole Foods as grown-ass adults, that doesn’t mean your college budget can handle it. Open your mind. Thrift stores are great for clothes (just check for holes, sweat stains, and weird smells and wash before you wear), but they can also have furniture (don’t get anything with fabric, though--stick to all-wooden or metal pieces), kitchen stuff (I got a set of beautiful wine glasses for six dollars one time), or storage containers. Dollar stores are the best place to find cleaning or kitchen supplies, as well as things like Q-tips and cotton balls, paper towels, or little containers to organize with. I would steer clear of the makeup and the food, however. Buy your food at discount grocery stores (like Aldi’s, PriceRite, etc.). While they may not look like the grocery stores you’re used to (at Aldi’s, for instance, they keep the projects in the cardboard cartons they come in to make stocking faster and cheaper), their products are just as good and wayyyy cheaper--I usually pay around $50 for groceries that feed my boyfriend and me for two weeks. If you don’t have a similar store near you, try buying the generic brand of most foods, and sticking to whatever produce is in season--it’ll be cheaper and taste better.

8. Student discounts (obviously)

This is a pretty basic one. I got Microsoft Office for free and a free six months of Amazon Prime (and then a half-priced subscription) with my student email, but you can get discounts at a lot of places. Check this list to see. 

9. Track what you spend and use it to set a budget that includes savings

The biggest thing that made a difference for me was actually seeing what I spent--it was way more than I thought. I hadn’t realized how quickly buying snacks, meals on campus, alcohol, and impulse buys to treat myself could add up. You can use an app like Mint to do this automatically, but I found that using a customized spreadsheet and inputting everything I spent when I spent it kept me the most accountable. I also tracked what category the purchase was (bills/food/entertainment/clothing/etc) and whether it was something I needed or not (groceries and a new pair of basic black heels for mock trial I needed, two new face masks I did not). Once I’d done this for a couple months, I added up all the categories and made a monthly budget for myself, making sure to budget some money for savings and restricting each category some, but not too much. If I didn’t let myself spend some money on makeup, books, or meals out, I’d go crazy--budgeting a small amount for “extra” stuff will keep you on track to save money, but without feeling overly restricted.

10. Credit card points and cash back

If you still use a debit card for everything, get a credit card. Having some kind of credit score is so important for everything from getting approved for loans to renting your own apartment. Just make sure that you’re paying it off on time, not letting a balance roll over from month to month, and not using more than a third of your credit limit at any time. Not only will you build credit, you can also earn cash back or airline points on purchases you’d be making anyway.

11. Take advantage of your school’s perks

I was paying four dollars a day to take the metro to and from campus, which doesn’t sound like much, but it adds up over time (I have classes three days a week this semester, so that’s almost fifty dollars a month at minimum). Recently, I realized that my school has a shuttle that comes once an hour close to my apartment--all I have to do is leave ten minutes earlier every day, and I save fifty dollars a month just by using what my school offers. The same principle applies to things like your school’s gym, free food at events, free coffee or tea on campus, services at your career services office, or even the student health center. It’s included in your (probably way too high) tuition anyway, so you might as well use it and not waste the money!

12. Find dupes

I was obsessed with the trio of serums Glossier released a few months back, but the set cost $65, so I held back. I’m so glad I did, because I found this skincare brand called The Ordinary, which sold serums with basically the same chemical composition for less than $10 each (some for around $5-6). They also come in larger bottles, and I was fucking sold. I’m a sucker for Glossier’s aesthetic, but I’m also broke as hell. If you’re interested in the specific dupes, here are ones similar to Super Bounce, Super Glow, and Super Pure. (ELF’s eyebrow treat and tame is also basically the same as Boy Brow--you’re welcome). So many products in the beauty/skincare realm are marked up simply because of their brand name, and it’s worth looking around for similar things at lower price points--especially when it comes to skincare, if you know the active ingredients in a product it’s easy to find something similar without the gimmicks.

13. Figure out whether you find it harder to spend with cash or card

...and then start carrying that one with you. Most people find it easier to spend on a card than to hand over cash, because you’re limited to the amount you have and you can physically see it leaving your hand. I find it easier to spend cash because I check my bank balance often and I only see card purchases reflected there--for me, it’s easier to hand over cash and forget about a purchase. Figure out which is harder for you to spend on and use that method as often as you can. Leave the other one at home. If you need more limitations, either only bring a certain amount of cash with you or transfer most of your money into savings and keep a low balance in your checking account--you can’t spend more than you make available to yourself.

14. Be prepared to do weird and/or creative things

Ultimately, how you save money depends on what you spend on. I don’t have laundry in my building, and it would cost me six dollars per load to do it across the street (the only laundry machines that are close enough to my building). So, I bought a little $50 hand-crank washing machine and a clothes rack, and I wash my clothes by hand in my bathroom and air-dry them. I also grow things like lettuce and basil in my kitchen windowsill. Be creative, and don’t spend money on things unless you have to.