#anyways I also have really bad wisdom teeth pain
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#I’m either going to rip all my skin off or have a big breakdown#also#why with anxiety and shit does my skin become so itchy#like I’ve given my second also like carpet burns all across my body from scratching#why does this happen#and because I’m so anxious I don’t realise u til I’m like awh shit I’ve itched all my skin off#is this normal ??? I feel like the answer is no#I’m not doing well#but greatful that it is hard to obtain a gun in the uk#because man I would be a risk to myself#every other way so much effort#also failed most many times#but thank you uk for having safety in one way I guess#anyways this is my late night ramble#because I have no else to talk and I don’t wanna talk#but I need my thought to be put out in the world#I dunno if that makes sense#like my notes app would do the same job#but any time I try and make like a small shopping list I’m hit with 20+ ending life notes#and like that just ruins shopping time#so why not use my tumblr and then just delete it when I wake up#anyways I also have really bad wisdom teeth pain#meaning lots of pain meds what probably what started the anxiety spiral#but fuck why do we have wisdom teeth man#like mine are growing fine to my knowledge#but fuck to the people who grown wonky that must not be fun
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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will return to posting on aro culture is. medical bullshit continues unfortunately :(
would be super neat if my body was functional, but alas... if it is not one thing, it is another. it is also usually more than one thing. my body is like an apartment complex that looks alright on the outside, but is hot garbage when you look inside. you're not just gonna find one problem.
#basically: fibromyalgia is ouch. we increased my meds. fibro was less ouch#but stomach was Fucked. i am attempting to mitigate that via dietary things. it is. not really working#i have equally as bad of a relationship with my GI system as most of my friends with IBS or worse#because when my stomach hurts it is lie in bed curled up in misery that will last multiple hours levels#and my pain tolerance is. notoriously unusually high#havent broken bones so i can't give that as comparison#but i can say that when i got my (all impacted!) wisdom teeth out i was like 'nah i will just take normal ibuprofen ty'#i took... one? double dose of that and decided i would rather be in pain and on the standard dose than deal with side effects#i proceeded to go to a friend's grad party the next day on short notice lol#showed up looking like i had lost a fistfight where they targeted my chin#i think that friend's mother was halfway to handing me an ice pack every time she saw me lol#anyways. basically. i am mostly annoyed by ouchies but GI symptoms make me :(#but also my fibro pain gets so ad that it makes me not eat due to not feeling hungry so like. it is a lose lose situation
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helloo could you do mcyt's (preferably tommy, tubbo, freddie, and max but you can add whoever else!!) having to take care of the reader because they got their wisdom teeth out and their all delusional and out of it from the drugs 😭😭 have a good day!
omg YES OF CORURSE !!!! ; this sis so cute also sorry if this is like dumb cause I've never gotten wisdom teeth removed but I have gotten a cavity removed if that counts idk ; also it's 1am and I've been working on a double wattpad special project all day and I'm just like brainrotted LMFAOOOO ; anyways I'm super happy to get that like worked on and also do these reqs cause irs been like over a month atp I'm sorry
MCYT ; wisdom teeth removal
includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu & maxggs
warnings ; language, substances (laughing gas), me not really knowing how this works ig
masterlist
TOMMYINNIT
absolutely cackling everytime you speak
"I wanna listen to gay music, tom" you whine
"what is gay music?!??!"
"CHAPPELL ROAN"
"WHY ARE WE YELLING"
offers to get you yogurt on the way home
"pretzel"
"i know the soft pretzel addiction is tough, but they're too hard for you right now"
"what the fuck, mate"
you proceed to only say mate for an hour cause it doesn't sound like a real word anymore
pain in the ass
good for content!
his first video to reach 1m views in months LMAOOOO
RANBOO
has to get the whole crew in to help you
like whole crew as in harry, molly, tommy, and jack
"stand up in 1, 2, 3-"
you crash immediately to the floor
"i don't think that's standing"
"i don't think so either, harry"
literally loads you up on milkshakes
feels so bad about how you're complaining about being uncomfortable but he can't do anything so... suffer ig
he's just nodding along to the dumb shit you say
very embarrassing to be on the public bus though
everyone's quietly giggling trying to not laugh up a storm as you mumble about harry and something about vapes
you might as well be on crack
FREDDIE BADLINU
literally like teaching an infant how to walk
baby gloves are on, asks the dental surgeon what he needs to do and writes it down
constant hugs cause you ask for them every 3 seconds
actually laughing like hell when you say something weird/dumb
just hands you your earbuds and let's you play music if it helps the woozyness at all
"listen to megan with meeeee"
"okay, well I need an earbud, pal"
"oh, yeah"
takes a picture of your swollen mouth while you're taking a nap on his shoulder on the bus
"I'm convinced this is what raising a toddler is like"
"I'm a cool toddler though, right? cause I'm awesome and cool and awesome, right?"
"yup"
MAXGGS
you actually confuse him for tubbo and it was over (he was streaming w tubbo for tubbothon)
"okay, bye. get home safe-"
"mAx-" voice cracks are insane what
was worried that they performed surgery on your vocal chords while they had you out
nah your jaw wasn't used to being so strained for so long
loads you up with milkshakes and ice cream
you're mostly only getting around on his back cause you're too woozy
like taking care of a drunk person
"i have to change the towel-"
"what towel?"
"the towel in your mouth, y/n"
"THERES A TOWEL IN MY MOUTH?'
he's literally never laughed so much in his life
made a joke about being pro getting high on laughing gas
"whatever makes you happy, gang"
#lowkeyrobin#mcyt x reader#mcyt preferences#mcyt oneshot#gender neutral reader#gn reader#they/them reader#tommyinnit x reader#freddie badlinu x reader#badlinu x reader#maxggs x reader#ranboo x reader
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If anyone remembers/still cares about my bizarro jaw bone spur debacle from this summer, I have an update for you! I'm fine now, this is all past tense, but probably don't read this if you don't want to hear about dental/bone stuff.
So to recap, earlier this summer I felt some irritation in my mouth and when I checked it out in the mirror, there was a tiny little off-white shard of something sticking out of my gums on the inside of my lower molars. I figured it was a little piece of food that poked me, but when I touched it, it 1) was hard and sharp, 2) would not move, and 3) hurt so bad that it about knocked the wind out of me. Even in the moment I knew this sounded dramatic and highly improbable, but I was immediately Very Sure that it was a little shard of bone.
By the next morning it was so swollen that I couldn't see if it was still there, and after four or five days I ended up calling around and found a dentist who could get me in to take a look because my usual dentist at the student health center didn't have any immediate openings. By that point I was taking Tylenol + ibuprofen around the clock as well as using Orajel numbing gel and icing it, but nothing was touching the pain. Also, the side of my face and down into my neck was starting to swell, and sleeping and eating was extremely difficult due to the pain.
The dentist I ended up seeing was very friendly and pleasant but ultimately pretty dismissive. Nothing showed up on an X-ray but he could see a spot of "hyper-irritation" where I'd had the little shard, and he said it was possible that a "bone spur" worked its way out through my gums. Usually that only happens after oral surgery or an injury, but I'd also had a dental cleaning a few weeks prior that was weirdly aggressive and left that part of my gums bleeding and sore for several days, so it was possible that was enough to dislodge something left over from when I had my wisdom teeth removed years and years ago. Or maybe it was just a little cut. He then told me to alternate the Tylenol and ibuprofen instead of taking them simultaneously and to call back in two weeks if it wasn't better or if it started getting hard to eat or sleep. I reiterated that it already was hard to eat and sleep, and asked if I was understanding him correctly that he wanted me to take LESS pain medication. He paused, and then said to call back in one week if it wasn't better.
So obviously I went out to my car and cried. I have a very skewed pain tolerance from a lifetime of chronic illness experiences and I'm a very smiley and friendly person in general, so I do acknowledge that I don't usually LOOK like I'm in pain, especially to someone who's only just met me. But for me, the fact that I even made an appointment for it is a giveaway that this is like, off the charts levels of pain. I called my dad since he's a doctor and he was able to prescribe some antibiotics for me just in case, and walked me through how to adjust the ibuprofen dose to be the equivalent of prescription strength. I'd decided that if it wasn't any better by the next day, I was going to urgent care. Thankfully it was a smidge better, and over the next maybe two or three weeks it mostly went away, although for while I could still feel sort of a divot on my gum where the bone spur had been.
ANYWAY yesterday I had my regular dentist's visit, the first time I'd been in since then. I told the hygienist about it, and she seemed kind of alarmed, especially because she could also still feel the little spot on my gum. The dentist ALSO seemed pretty shocked and could feel where it was as well.
So here's the update: I apparently have a little bit of extra bone built up around my back lower molars, which is unusual but not unheard of, and mine is very very mild in comparison to what you see when you Google "mandibular tori" - mine is really just that it's slightly rounded or mildly bowed right below my molars rather than going straight down to the bottom of my mouth as is typical, minor enough that no dentists have ever mentioned it to me. I never even realized that wasn't what everyone's were like until this spring when a massage therapist I saw for TMJ stuff mentioned that she noticed it. So in general that's not any sort of issue for me, EXCEPT that the dentist yesterday said that the gum tissue can be pretty thin where it has to stretch over the extra bone, which can also be kind of pointy or sharp.
Given that plus the fact that I hadn't had any sort of recent injury or surgery in the area like you would expect for a bone spur, she said it was more likely that I somehow scraped or cut the gum right down to the bone.
It wasn't a bone spur. That was my literal, actual jaw bone showing through my gums.
#yeah no shit it hurt like a motherfucker when i tried to literally break a piece off of MY OWN EXPOSED JAW BONE with my fingernail#knowing that makes the level of pain it caused seem a lot more reasonable#like i KNEW that was too much drama to be from just getting poked by a piece of food#when i touched it i just KNEW somehow that like. that was BONE.#my dentist said it was a good thing that i ended up getting antibiotics#but also that it's possible it could happen again#i guess at least if it does now i know what it is and i also know which practice in town NOT to call if i need an emergency visit#so there's that#and that's the update! another piece of my villain origin story#lore#if you will#tw dental#tw medical
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The filling that fell out almost a year ago has finally come back to haunt me... could hardly sleep last night cus my face hurt so bad. TWO naproxen didn't even touch the pain. (Tho that's nothing new tbh). Don't want a long aas post clogging up anyone's dash, so rest is under the cut.
Also didn't proof read this super well cus now that I'm not as sore I'm getting sleepy cus I didn't sleep much last night so if it's a Lil choppy I apologize lol.
Over the years, I noticed pain meds never really worked, so I didn't bother with them. The option was to take the max dose, or potentially more to get relief, but doing that consistently was just not something i was down for. But at the dentist for the filling that fell out more recently, dude dipped into multuple syringes of the lidocaine, and had to numb the nerve in the hinge of my jaw for me to not feel him digging around in my face.
Found the same when I had an iud inserted, took meds before as instructed, even brought a joint lmao. As well as going for the discomfort of that giant ass 10g needle stabbed into my cervix, and it did NOTHING... I've got a fairly high pain tolerance, but I stg I had a better time when I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed at once... and those were ALL infected, two were impacted, and when treating said infection, I had a freak reaction to the amoxicillin for the first time in my life... go me...
ANYWAY, shit I tried off Google and how it worked...
Sensitivity toothpaste rubbed into my gums/teeth helped a very short time. Sent the bf for orajel the next morning n honestly it worked about as well as the toothpaste, just for longer.
Also strongly mint?? Like specifically just peppermint antacid in my mouth helped rhe ache?? Apparently it's a thing lol. Honestly was just looking for a distraction from the ache n felt like the minty feeling might help.
Salt water rinse helped a little too. Did a rinse but a VERY gentle swish, better to puff out your cheeks and roll your head back n forth. Kinda burns but it will help kill any infection as long as it's minor.
Had some tea earlier on with sage, lemon balm, clove and rosemary. As all of them have geberal anti inflammatory or anti bacterial properties. Weirdly another tip I found was just a damp black tea bag placed against the affected area, actually felt FANTASTIC but the downside was it made my spit SUPER bitter if I swallowed it, so my option was wanting to gag at how gross it was, or be in pain... and obviously couldn't sleep with it in there cus that would be dangerous. Might try just drinking some black tea or brewing the black tea with the other herbs for some extra kick, no honey sadly but I'll have to deal with the bitterness.
Acetaminophen worked a lot better than the naproxen here. Was told by a Dr for a different pain I was in, that I COULD take them together tho (as in one of each), but since the naproxen didn't seem to do fuck all I'm gonna just do 2x extra strength Acetaminophen. Which also isn't ideal long term, but I CANNOT sleep with the pain I'm in so for a temporary situation I'm just gonna have to drink extra water or sum...
Other option is the T3 I had leftover after my tooth removal, had some ibuprofen too but left those when I moved away from fam. I'd rather take an extra Tylenol than the codeine tbh. Just feels a Lil less harsh on the system.
Fingers crossed the boyfriends work insurance goes thru so I can get this delt with... otherwise I might have to just have to be in pain to give my organs a break from all the drugs 🙃 gonna try my netti pot to hopefully clear any gunk out my sinuses as the ear on that side is a Lil plugged too (tip. Take a deep breath, close mouth, plug nose, and swallow. Works WAY better than plugging your nose and blowing).
#aprincessofthevoid speaks#me#teeth#fillings#bleh#vent#rant#dental health#dental care#words#herbal remedies
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UPDATE: I mention a bacteria thing and teeth hurting down below but this is an old post and I'm all recovered now ♡
y'all I had planned to go back to posting my fics regularly but so much has happened lately, including me going to our public 24/7 emergency care (don't know how to describe it better in Eng but we call it UPA) last night and getting scared (both me and my parents lol) but thankfully it was nothing major, just some bacteria or something similar I got from food and the doctor just prescribed me some pills and I was back home in no time. I feel better already ahahah also, my wisdom teeth are SCREAMING in pain lol but it's not as bad as it could be, at least not for me as I have a real high pain tolerance bc of fibro 👁👄👁 anyways... I'm really busy still, just focusing on living life, having time to relax, taking care of my cat, focusing on my relationship, spending some quality time with my family and friends and working on my new small business. So, idk when I'll be back to some kind of routine when it comes to posting my works but I just wanted to give y'all a little update. I'm enjoying my break, tho ♡ even with some challenges along the way ahahha hope u guys are doing good 💌 and thank you SO much for all the recent likes and comments in my writings. Makes me incredibly happy and proud of the effort I put into my art. <3
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Elaboration on why you think you already know why your face is hurting? If you're open to it
Bad teeth, horrid teeth, I kind of ramble. Heads up I briefly mention mental health stuff and child neglect but I dont really dive deep into it but you guys know I like to add warnings just in case
Saying this now, admin does not know any terms when it comes to tooth stuff or dentist stuff so take descriptions with a grain of salt + when future plans for my care were discussed it was while I was still all fuzzed out on the gas they give people sometimes <\3
Very likely I'll probably delete this since this is a bit of a touchy thing
Got my dad's small mouth/jaw and my moms fucky teeth- idk what or if theres something running genetically in the family but the afabs on my moms side have teeth there are very susceptible to rot. At one point it was so tight in my mouth that a tooth just. Started cracking?? Said tooth happened to also have a cavity soooooooo.... and it was one of my front teeth too so triple bummer...
Add in the fact that when the cavity first formed my parents werent. Really around.. so uh.. no dentist visit for YEARS until the tooth cracked further, brushing can only do so much in this case + horrid mental health made self care hard. Bed rotting is very real and its horrible- will get onto just how bad the tooth was in a sec
Didnt get taken to the dentist til I was 17 when the crack worsened. First trip had to get a tooth pulled because I had two and a half teeth crammed in one space. Baby tooth never came out. Now one of my adult teeth rests mostly under my tongue. But the tooth removal DID relieve some of the pressure on my lower jaw!! Yay!! Theres still a gap but it's a little smaller than it was before. Dreading my wisdom teeth
Anyways back to the fucked up cracked tooth. Details are fuzzed since this was about 2ish years ago and I was on that funky gas because anxiety + literally the first time I could consciously remember going to the dentist + body sometimes jerks so... yeah!
Anyways
Apparantly the nerve in that cracked front tooth was nearly exposed. Like there was just a thin layer of... tooth.. stuff.. in the way, according to the dentist you could easily see the nerve behind it?? How I wasn't in constant pain was beyond me because jesus fucking christ
Dental plan! Sealed the tooth/glued it together because the main reason I got taken to the dentist to get the damaged assessed was! Graduation photos were coming up very fast and my mom didnt want me to have a cracked fucked tooth in my photos, but she also didnt want to do anything that could make my face swollen
So cue a "we're gonna come up with a plan later, for now we're going to metaphorically and literally hold this tooth together with glue until it cant keep it together anymore!" Soooooo
Here we are!
Reason I think my tooth is the problem is because it's on the same side right above that tooth, though now that I sit here aggressively breathing in through my nose to try to pin point WHERE it hurts (because unfortunately its ine of those "general areas but not exact" things), it feels too high up to be the tooth.. I mean I'm not gonna rule it out because I know bodies are weird but
Yk
Idk I'll probably bring it up to my mom, I'm kind of on edge since I know mouth tooth stuff can escalate quick and cause some NASTY complications
At least my actual teeth dont hurt at all??
If not the teeth its likely a sinus infection, I have been having a fucked up nose (running and stuffy) though I've mostly been attributing that to the weather... shrugs.. guess we'll just have to see!
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how would Tony (young and regular/older Tony) react if you need to have your wisdom tooth removed and he's gotta take care of you? like, calm you down before the surgery, accompany you to the orthodontist, take care of you during post-op? and you're all sensitive and upset and feeling shitty and miserable :(
It’s been 8 years since I got all of my wisdom teeth removed but that shit was awful and sometimes the scars flare up and hurt to this day 😭 also my fav story to tell is that after my surgery I was so fucked up on those pain meds for a while (mine took a lot longer to heal than normal and hurt so bad so I took the hard stuff longer than most people lmao), and I played Mass Effect 1 all day every day, and completed it like three or four times over the course of a week 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 my two friends got theirs removed during the same summer as me, and there’s went so smoothly??? Like one had no paid after day 2 or 3 and was eating like normal on day 5, and my other friend took a while before chewing felt more normal but she said her pain wasn’t bad after the first day??? And I literally felt like I was dying for almost two weeks 😭
Young!Tony might have gotten his removed too! 3 or 4 years ago probably, but he’s been through it! He’ll drive you there and back, but on the way he’s probably not the best at comforting you 🤧 He’ll tell you it’s not that bad, and then proceed to tell you all about how he woke up mid-surgery 😭 he thinks it’s kinda funny, but it’s not when you’re about to be in that position :( If you’re anything like how I was after mine, instead of being loopy and stumbly afterward, you walk to the car (mostly) on your own (only stumbling a little bit) after being very grumpy and mean to both Tony and the doctor 😃👍 who thankfully think it’s funny, and Tony only annoys you further when you’re staring through the window with an angry glare and he’s busy asking you how you feel or if you remember anything. Yeah, you feel like shit! No wonder you’re so grumpy! He tries to stay quiet for the rest of the ride 😔 but he’ll put on your favorite songs :D He also made sure to put a towel on your lap maybe or maybe not after Maria advised him to beforehand…
If you don’t already live together, he’ll pretty much try to live in your house for the week even though your parents might be right there to also take care of you 🥺😅 buuuut blood makes him a little squeamish, so helping you replacing those first cottons balls might be a little bit of a hassle, meaning: he’ll be wearing gloves and will be visibly disgusted 😭 but you’re too out of it to notice anyway! The first day, you’re probably doing a lot of sleeping :( but he’ll sleep with you :D propped up with you on some pillow and just watches every movie you own! You probably can’t talk really good either that first day or two, which sucks because all Tony does it talk 😩 well, maybe it’s not so bad then? You also won’t be alone in having to eat things like Jello and pudding and mashed potatoes, because he’ll probably eat them too 😋 It kinda gives him an excuse to only eat vanilla pudding all day 😅 He can’t really help you feel any better besides being surprisingly on time for any medication, and while he promises to take you to your favorite restaurant as soon as you think you can eat real food (which is hopefully after the first week unless you’re like me, then it takes almost two 🙃), but that might kinda make it worse because it gets real boring only eating the few soft foods on that list 😭 And it’s frustrating honestly. Don’t feel bad about randomly crying when he brings you a cup of jello 😔 He’ll be like “wait, was that the wrong thing, I’m sorry 😰” and then he has to sit through your mini rant about being tired of feeling awful 😞 and there’s nothing he can do so he also feels awful 😞 But, at least you kinda have an excuse to sit in bed all week and watch movies or play games? Each day will feel a little better :)
Now older Tony, he’s been through a few surgeries, though it’s been years since this particular one. You can rest assured, at least, that you’ll have only the best doctors and best medical advice and stuff? Nah, it’s still stressful ^^;; Tony’s been through lots of surgeries, and he’ll assure you this is one of the easier and most routine ones! It’ll go fine! You won’t be able to eat normally for at least 5 or so days, so he’ll be sure to take you wherever you want to go the day or two before, too 😘 If you’re super freaked out, he’ll try his best leading up to it to avoid any mention of it unless necessary tbh. He’s suddenly around much more, trying to butt it on daily routines and work, chores or cooking, asking you’re opinion of blueprints or about vacation plans. But it’s pretty unavoidable when he’s driving you there :( He’ll ((technically)) be with you the entire time! He’ll be there when it’s done! It may not feel like it in the moment, but he was right when he said you’d literally be out of there within five minutes! Well, from your point of view anyway. You’re probably a little wobbly on your feet, and hopefully not trying to wriggle out of his guiding grip on your shoulders 😅 And sorry to tell you, while you won’t film it, he’ll purposefully be trying to get you to say ridiculous things and asking you all kinds of ridiculous questions 😔 And tell you all about as soon as you’re feeling better!
He made sure to buy all your favorite yogurts and he’ll even make some soups! Luckily he’s seen plenty of blood and had plenty of surgeries, so blood doesn’t bother him and he doesn’t mind having to help you clean up. And though you’re on bedrest for a few days (the surgery may just be in the mouth, but dental pain really takes out all your energy 😭), at least that means he (finally) has to take a break from work to spend all day with you 😁 though, it’d be better for both of you if you weren’t in pain and so over it :( He feels really bad that there’s not much he can do to help you feel better :( You may get a little snappy with him because you feel so bad, and he tries his best not to let it get him down 😔 But he’s still persistent in trying to find way to keep you entertained and keep your mind off of it (sorta). Puzzles, video games, napping as best he can with you- whatever helps! And when you start complaining about having to eat the same stuff all day, he’ll promise to pick up whatever you want as soon as you can eat better!
And either way, the biggest challenge for him is trying not to instinctively kiss your cheek before bed when your laying next to him 😭 those first few days everything hurts, and he hardly knows what a gentle peck is, so he’ll have to remember to swoop to your shoulder of top of your head that first week 😅
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Diary 2/26: life update cause it's been 6 months at least
Hi 👋🏼, It's been a long time, about 6 months about. I'm 23 now
I have a lot of up and downs and haven't felt like writing, and my main creative outlet has been TikTok because to be honest, I feel less alone when I can see that people saw my video, and maybe ever gave it a like or comment
I guess I'll talk a bit about the last 6 months, I work at a craft store now, quit my old horrible job that mistreated me constantly, got COVID soon after quitting the old job, went and saw a medium sized artist I like in concert, second ever concert, her name is Tessa Violet, dragged my bff with me cause we planned it for her to come down and visit me during Spring Break.
I also confessed to my crush, they said they like me too and have just as long as I have but she thought me flirting was pitty compliments cause ADHD runs through both of us lol, it's been moving really slowly cause things keep happening to her, the universe is just slapping her weekly bro.
I don't hate my job at the craft store, but I miss doing a version of my chosen career as a baker/cake decorator, really wish that place wasn't so toxic and that I had a car already.
I'm still trying to get a car, it took me 3 months to get a new job after quitting my old one, the COVID thing was a month of that but also just this job market sucks, origami current job was seasonal, but I have really good numbers on the register and I'm good at the other parts like stalking and sorting and fixing things on the shelfs so I got kept on. I make sure not to give a ADHD 100% anymore, it killed me at my old job and whenever I only had a normal person's 100% they acted like I was failing when I was just doing a normal amount instead of a crazy amount, so I learned not to grind myself to the bone.
I can't remember if I've mentioned this, probably not tho, I go to a weekly crochet club for months now, it's all older ladies and me but it's better than nothing with how I don't really have friends other than my best friend. They care about me and I care about them and it's nice to talk to others once a week.
I kinda ran outta steam for finding friends the last 2 months, I was trying and trying and I'm just tired after months and months or trying 🤷
I think about making a post all the time, but also feel like I'm writing into the void, which has been terrifying me lately, the void that is, long story short, I was stressed AF and couldn't sleep for days the day before Halloween and tried to smoke to fall asleep, but before I'd just taken a hit or two of my brothers sleep type vape, but actually smoked it that night for the first time and instead tripped horribly and it's still affecting me mentally, the memory of the horror that was that night.
Editing a note: I was basically trying to test for a bit if a sleep strain of weed would help with my at the time rampid insomnia since sleep meds either don't work on me or give me bad side effects, but after that night I'm probably never touching it again so ✌🏼
I also am just not feeling great medically, I just got my broken tooth pulled through and did my wisdoms at the same time and already feel better even with the jaw pain, so hopefully some of the not feeling well was because of my teeth, I've been working on trying to finally fix my teeth as well and I think it might actually happen now
Anyways, it's after 3:20am so I'm gonna go lay down even if I don't sleep till 4 cause laying down is better than nothing
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Ider if i told u but i got my wisdom teeth removed today and that shit was the worst experience of my life ohmygod
The actual procedure went okay, though like i took an anti anxiety med that was supposed to knock me out but i was Fully Conscious LMFAO AND SO I ASKED THEM TO GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE BUT THEY WERE LIKE "naur bro ur fine" BC I WSNT FREAKING OUT A TON DJFKGKF WHICH I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR (tho it turned out to be a good thing bc those meds ended up making me . Hashtag emetophobia tw ifykwim)
BUT YEAH THE RECOVERY PROCESS WAS SHITTTT THEY TOLD ME I COULD TAKE OUT THE GAUZE IN 2 HRS AND SLEEP BC I WAS VERY TIRED BUT NOOOO IT WOUKDNT HEALLL FOR A WHOLE SIX ASS HOURS
Ahem sorry for yelling i was just very . Upset bc i wanted to sleep or even just drink fucking water man
BUT I DIDDD EVENTUALLY I DIDD WE REJOICEEE i think there was still a little bit of blood but i couldnt taste it anymore and i was really thirsty so shfkfkf and food (literally just broth lmao) made me feel a lot better so that's good
But yeah . -1100000 experience i would literally never recommend it (unless u have to, also from who I've talked to almost everyone else has had a better experience than me so if u are scared, do not worry king it won't be that bad. And even if it is like me, im here!! And alive!! And the nausea wasnt that bad, it kinda just came and went. Much better than migraines bro fr, migraines suck BALLS)
Like everyone kept telling me to watch a movie but that was stressing me out so what i ended up doing wss putting on a podfic (passerine podcast on yt woot woot, i listened to change fate by sircantus) and man it's actually wild how much it helped me. It helped calm my anxiety AND distract me from the pain. Once i did that existing felt less like suffering and more like an annoyance ahahah
OUGH I DIDNT EVEN GET ANY SILLY GOOFY MOMENTS EITHER BC I WASNT LOOPY AT ALL JUST TIRED DHFJFK
Anyways ty for letting me get that out of my system LMAOO
oh man this sounds literally horrible I'm so sorry icy 😭 that sucks that you weren't able to knock out even a little bit but at least the procedure itself wasn't horrible
god that sounds terrible though just sitting there for 6 hours waiting to be able to take the gauze out. that's so strange that it took so long. but at least you were able to listen to passerine podcast that's nice!!
everyone I know whose gotten their wisdom teeth removed had a better experience than this I am so sorry you got so unlucky.
I'm very grateful that I'm never gonna have to get my wisdom teeth removed. I had soooo much horribly painful dental work done to my mouth throughout my entire teen years that I now genuinely get bad anxiety anytime I'm in a dentist office even if I'm not there for myself, I straight up was getting anxious when I took my grandma there for a cleaning the other day 😭 and I keep putting off a recommended (minor) procedure bc of this anxiety it's badddd
I hope you're feeling better now though!!
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Some good points: alcohol is also a poison. Yep, it will shorten your life and make it worse, it’s a great thing to really limit, and if you can’t, please reach out to the people who care about you. Alcoholism is very common and socially sanctioned or even glorified but it is bad for your body and bad for your brain. You deserve better.
Dental hygiene: not optional. Hard agree. Jesus Christ if I could go back in time and do one thing it would be to get a high-quality electric toothbrush when I had braces, because being bad at dental hygiene then has meant my teeth have never been right since and I now get frequent pain from a kind of badly made crown. Waterpik made a brush that has the Waterpik flosser built in so it doesn’t take any longer and this is an utter game changer. It’s expensive but I think it’s worth it. My dentist MARVELED at my gum health when I went in for the first time after switching.
Also, “this is ableist” no I want you to exercise your common sense if anything here sounds dangerous to you. If you can think of an exception, good for you, but it doesn’t change that this will be the best advice for the vast majority of people. We aren’t playing the game where you try to Win At Internet by being the most outraged and aggrieved that a total stranger didn’t preempt every single scenario you could think of. Actually, you know what, if you do that, take a long hard look at why and see whether there’s something you can do to be happier, because no one who pulls that shit is actually happy and if you spend your entire life righteously miserable then it doesn’t really matter how long it is, it still sucked. Anyway, we’re not playing that game because I have the wisdom to know when to push the block button.
A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to ���be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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So me? I don't like weed highs at all, it's just kinda... shitty body highs where I can't stop feeling the veins in my head kinda stuff. Don't remotely enjoy it
However, I've found that stuff like tea or CBD gummies are one of the few things that really deals with my pain (for some reason most drugs really don't do much for me, like when I had my wisdom teeth out vicodine did literally nothing to cut the pain, like it just had no effect)
So for me, the goal is to have a pain reliever while absolutely avoiding getting high at all costs because that's a good way to be miserable. Like... honestly at this point if it's got THC in it I just don't take it cause that seems to be what gets me high, and I do not like it
Here's my point in all this... why the fuck do I have to buy weed gummies and take them as pain killers (cause I'll take NSAIDs, but... inflammation, they're king shit at dealing with, but pain... if they do anything it barely takes the edge off)
You have no idea how much I dream of just being able to go to the store (or have prescribed, whatever) some kind of actual CBD (or whatever) pill that's actively designed around pain management and being fast acting and all that good stuff
Literally just want a pain killer, would like if I could maybe use medicaid instead of paying recreational drug prices to self medicate
Also I gotta say as someone who studied as a pharmacy tech, it's fucking stupid marijuana is schedule 1 (highly addictive with no medical uses), even coke is a schedule 2 (highly addictive with medical uses)... like I forget which, but cough syrup with alcohol is a 4 or a 5... weed at worse should be a 2, and really should be like a 5 (that's where a lot of sleep meds and stuff wind up from what I remember... also I think I heard some rumbling about federal changes around weed but... can't remember what)
I literally just want a pain med, that's all, and my ideal pain med is one that treats the pain without messing with my head in anyway (I sometimes wonder if muscle relaxants would actually work for me but... fuck, that's not worth trying to get... don't know how bad my pain is, like if it's actually chronic pain or not, but whatever, I can live with it)
Basically I'd just like to see the pain killing properties of weed researched and refined and I want something that's properly dosed that I can just take which won't get me even a hint of high
...and I feel like that's doable, but not with federal regulations on this stuff, not with the current stance
(And it sucks, cause it'll probably be like a decade after they start working on it that anything commercial comes out)
#for the record I really don't care about people who do like getting high by smoking weed; it's just miserable for me#also it's just not my idea of a fun high even if I shifted it over to what it could be instead of what it is for me#as in I don't find it entertaining#I prefer alcohol; that's the style of altered mental status that I actually enjoy
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this is just an observation but. this is my third surgery in life and i keep thinking that the post-op pain and fatigue are not really that different from day-to-day illness and injury. like. this isn't a fully developed theory post but. the cold i had two weeks ago made me more sore than i am now.
and part of that is that i have a drs orders pain regiment that i'm careful to stay on top of, but like. you know what i mean? like when i had my wisdom teeth out, i also had my period, and i was way more impressed that the pain management made my cramps go away. like the jaw pain was less severe than my normal cramps and easier to take care of with ice and meds, but also people took it more seriously.
the bad cold i had two weeks ago made every joint in my body ache and i slept through the whole weekend without getting out of bed except for food and toilet. that was worse than this, where i got my uterus tubes and both ovaries out uhh a little over 72 hours ago.
but when i say 'i had a bad cold' people don't have the same reaction as 'i had surgery' even though the two feel very similar physically to me right now.
isn't that weird? isn't it weird that… "normal" illness and injury are treated as nothing when they're so like major medical stuff that people do tend to take seriously. tend to bc obviously ableism is still. there. but. isn't it…
idk like i took a bunch of time off for surgery recovery (good!) but when i have a cold i'm like 'ah is it really that bad?' and… idk. maybe its a me thing, not taking 'common' 'regular' health stuff as serious because its routine. but then, very aware right now that my pain is like. literally the same. for 'common' cold and 'big' 'serious' stuff.
isn't it weird that institutions take one of those more seriously by law and then like, if you call out for a cold your manager can give you flack? when its the exact same pain but even more randomly striking? it's weird. i don't think my brain is at 100% yet but anyway
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back from first appointment today, i uh think i might be getting hormones on the 2nd of July, a little bummed its not IN june bc i think that would be funny, but i mean im kind of shocked at how fast its all happening, i went to like a specific clinic and they were like yeah we got a guy set up we can get this all started in like 2 weeks and i didnt even have any questions
also found this faygo at the convenience store, ive seen faygo before but ive never tried it and i like cotton candy stuff. its uh, i think its not very good but i kind of like it? idk its weird. its not carbonated like at all, i think it would be better if it was carbonated. it kind of tastes like water that had candy soaking in it. or like how that cotton candy body spray smells if it tasted like it smells. im keeping the bottle though its kinda cute
not once did doctor comment on my weight which is probably a first i was like my cholesterol is probably bad bc i only just started exercising again and he was like well exercising is important for any gender
so weird going to a doctor and immediately being on the same page as them, whenever ive gone to a doctor before about other problems usually theres always been a case of either theyre undermining me or IM undermining THEM bc im expecting them to undermine me and it was so nice to go and and both of us go like i trust you to be intelligent. esp bc part of my trans story is "i learned about being trans on the medical channel when i was 7 bc i watched the medical channel a lot as a child" so he was like yknow i guess it makes a lot of sense that youd be well informed then
also, i am american so it gets brought up EVERY TIME and i think its funny but its also kind of embarrassing when someone mentions my accent because i feel a little bit like a cartoon character, part of my brain is like yes im american, yes hamburger bald eagle freedom. i am sorry.
i think were gonna go for butt injection, he was like trying to scare me a bit with how painful it apparently is and i was like i just had the worst experience with needles in my mouth when i got my wisdom teeth pulled recently i can probably handle it, and he was like no i heard its worse and i was in my head like, maybe you dont understand how horrible that mouth needle was it was really bad
either way im not really afraid of the butt needle im not someone who is afraid of needles like literally at all
bit jealous of women getting to have a pill, i know some still get injections but having the option of a pill must be nice on some level
anyway yeah my next appointment is July 2nd and i have to manage to get in with the specialist (which i think is just gonna be similar to what we did today but like itll end with a big APPROVED stamp) and do blood work before that appointment
and were gonna work on top surgery, hes got a surgeon lined up i think we need a psych thing for that for like insurance reasons or something and then we need money (15,000 dollars!!!!!!!!!)
asked if i want bottom and i was like no bc its too expensive and he was like ok thats probably good no one around here is any good at it
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🧟♀️ scariest thing that’s happened to you
&
🔥 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you
CW:// Mentions of stalking, death threats, and wisdom teeth removal
🧟♀️ Scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?
So when I was in college I had a friend who was having a “thing” with an RA. She wanted it to be more of a friends-with-benefits thing but he wanted to be more than that. He was becoming insanely possessive of her and hated when we tried to hang out with her. Eventually she tried to cut things off cause he got too much to handle but he started stalking her and me and our other friend which eventually led to threats do stuff to get us kicked out of the school. I got a note on my bed once saying how much he hated me and that I’ll ‘stay out of their relationship if I know what’s good for me’. I even recorded him telling my friend that he would ‘bury us’ if we didn’t stop meddling and get out of his way. I took it to the school hoping they would kick him out or do something. But they didn’t do anything. I was terrified cause he’s an RA and had access to my dorm and a key to my room and they didn’t even strip him of his job. Also, the police didn’t do anything either sooooo yeah. Scary stuff.
🔥 Craziest thing that’s ever happened to you?
I’m sure I have a better story than this but this is all I can think of right now.
I got my wisdom teeth pulled back in 2021 and it had taken me soooooo long to get the appointment. One of the teeth was literally crumbling and I was in so much pain. So I get there and they try to put me under but my veins are really hard to find (yes, blood tests are a bitch lmao) and they couldn’t get it. So they said I could either reschedule and get the surgery done at the hospital or I can do the gas/numbing stuff instead and just be awake for it. Well, I was in so much pain and didn’t want to reschedule so I opted for the gas….and let me tell you. WORST decision ever. OMGGGG as someone who suffers from anxiety and was already insanely stressed about it, it was so traumatizing. They were like "do you feel dizzy yet?" and I kept saying no cause I didn't and they were baffled that I was still so lucid and not feeling it so I think they thought I was lying? Anyway, I felt like I could feel everything. Not as in pain pain per se. Although there definitely was some. But the pressure was horrible. And they couldn’t even take one all the way out cause it was too close to a nerve, so they had to use a saw thing to cut it and the sound in my ears almost made me die. I was crying so bad and the gas thing over my nose kept loosing its suction with how I was breathing/crying and I swear it sounded like a pig.
Anyway, I don’t recommend doing it that way. Just be asleep for your wisdom teeth removal please lol
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