#anyway... I hope anyone who reads it forgives any weird formatting lol

[grievouslyxorvia]

...To Be Human...?

Major Themes: Mastersona, non ship, philosophical fluff, slight changes to canon mechanics

LOSTBELT 1 SPOILERS

Mastersona Ashera has a chat with their new Servant, Antonio Salieri, just after Lostbelt 1. (I haven’t ever posted fanfic before, so forgive the formatting)

(Since it may be a spoiler, I’m adding that the change to canon is that Salieri made a formal contract with Ashera, so as the Lostbelt disappeared, he was Command Seal summoned back to the Shadow Border, thus retaining his memories from the Lostbelt. And Servants can stick around instead of the ‘only summoned for battle’ stuff.)

“Hey, Salieri... I was wondering if I could talk to you?” Ashera spoke into the empty room, knowing he would hear them even in Spirit Form. The Man in Grey materialised before them, a questioning look on his face.  “You... have need of me, Master?” “Something like that,” they replied, smiling. “How are you adjusting to life as a Servant? Any of the others giving you a hard time?” “Ah, no... nothing of the sort. All has been adequate, except the lack of a piano...” he trailed off, before adding, “but I suppose that would be asking far too much under the circumstances. I do understand our limitations, of course.” It didn’t take Holmes-level skills to notice that the composer was still disappointed and restless over the lack of an instrument, even if he knew it was unimportant in the scheme of things. However, Da Vinci had worked greater miracles with less materials.  “You know, in Proper Human History’s 2020, we have electronic pianos that are only the size of their keyboards. They’re quite popular, as you can mimic the sounds of other instruments while only needing to learn the scales of the piano...” They grinned as he immediately perked up. “You’re saying... that by playing this electronic keyboard... I could create the same sounds as a violin, or a flute?” He asked in surprise. “That’s right! You can even make sounds that wouldn’t normally exist via a regular instrument. I’ll admit that they don’t have the same soul as a grand piano though... to hear the resonance of the strings within can’t be replaced by something electronic, no matter how many types of sound it can produce.” They shrugged with a sigh. “Too luxurious now that the world has ended... again.” Salieri tilted his head, a small smile forming on his face.  “So, you recognise the soul in music, Master? I take it you’ve experienced a symphony before?” “That’s right- several, actually! Even some of yours. I’m particularly fond of your piano concerto in B flat...” they said, remembering the light trills of music floating through the performance hall. “I remember it. Though I enjoyed composing operas, I found my priorities shifted after...”  The unspoken words hung in the air.  “You switched to composing sacred music, before teaching, yes?” Ashera prompted. This Salieri was completely consumed by the persona he had become- the Man in Grey; killer of Mozart.  “...yes.” He stated, his eyes unfocused as his thoughts turned to the past. “I switched to composing sacred music. All to try.... to keep up with the man who God Himself loved. I thought perhaps, if I focused everything on the divine, just maybe...” he paused, as his voice dropped to a whisper, “perhaps God would see fit to forgive me.” He continued to gaze over Ashera’s shoulder, his brow creased with an inscrutable expression. Silence again filled the room, as the Master waited for the composer to gather his thoughts. Eventually, he shook himself out of his reverie, refocusing on their eyes. “My apologies, Master. I’m sure you didn’t call me her to speak about past sins. How may I be of service to you?” “Actually,” Ashera smiled, “I was hoping you could open that box on the desk for me.” Salieri stared blankly at them for a moment, before glancing at the desk in confusion. “You summoned me... to open a box?” he asked slowly. “That’s right!” He hesitated again, before moving to obey the strange command. “As you wish, though I hadn’t expected you to- ahhh...!” He drew in a sharp breath as he folded back the lid. “Surprise! Although, again, I recognise it doesn’t compare to the real thing-” “It’s a keyboard- a piano! Ahh, Master...! How?” He turned to them, with the first truly happy expression they had ever seen him wear.  “Da Vinci is a miracle worker. When I made the argument that music could heal and soothe our souls when we were exhausted from battle, as an artist herself, she couldn’t refuse. There should be a switch on the side to turn it on.” Their smile widened as they watched him reverently remove it from its box, brushing his hands over the keys as if to assure himself they were real. “It was made from bits and scrap we found in the Shadow Border, and I offered to link it to my speakers. I was dependent on music to relax me before you arrived, so they’re quite good quality if I do say so myself. Of course, recorded music couldn’t hold a candle to a live performance...”  His attention snapped back to them immediately. “You would hear me play? Even after hearing the depths of my rage in my Dies Irae...?” He paused, shaking his head slowly. “I am an Avenger... a scourge of humanity... the one who killed the man beloved by God! If you seek rest and healing, I am not sure that my music can provide such comfort.” As he spoke, his hands continued to move over the keys, betraying his words as if they intuitively knew their purpose.  Perhaps I worded that wrong.” Ashera replied, meeting his gaze. “Music does not always have to heal and comfort. It can inspire, it can enrage, it can bring great sorrow, or great hope. Music is not limited to one purpose. The feelings in music are interpreted uniquely by each person who beholds it- and thus does it reflect the true soul of humanity.” They reached out to take the composers closest hand. Though no longer phantom playing over the keys, it still shook slightly with emotion. The Master covered it with her other hand, before looking back into his eyes, unable to help smiling gently at the bewilderment on his face.  “Your Dies Irae worked on Ivan the Terrible- that monstrous, god-like beast- because it spoke to the shred of humanity that still lived within him. You brought what was nearly a living god down to earth by making him feel. And you did it with your fury, your seething hatred. You quite literally saved us with your pure rage. And I felt it too. Fury that this monster wanted to stand between me and restoring Proper Human History. It fuelled me to stand atop the Golem Keter Malkuth, made by the sacrifice of a friend, and fight like no human should ever have to. Because to be moved by such emotion, to be overcome with it, and push past ones limits to reach new heights... that is what it means to be human. Mozart’s music may have been divinely inspired, but yours is humanly inspired. And after having fought two primordial gods and whatever Ivan the Terrible was... I think I could do with remembering humanity. Even the dark and ugly parts.”  Salieri stared at the figure before him, this human mage who welcomed him so warmly. In that instant, he realised he could not possibly have found a better audience in all the world. Here was a heart that was so tired of beating towards an uncertain future that it had nearly forgotten what it meant to feel human. A heart that was shackled by the burden of having sentenced an entire world to death, and was looking for any sort of feeling to fill the void that was slowly expanding within it. This Master knew what it meant to kill Mozart. They understood the emptiness that came with destroying something beloved by a god. And they wanted to hear him play.

“...I hear you, my Master.” His red eyes cleared of all reluctance. He gently took his hand back, turning to the keyboard. There was no more hesitation as he ran through the scales, testing the keys. Though the sound was indeed not the same as a true piano, he still felt a wave of relief as the familiar notes filled the room. There was no longer a need for words.  Layers of chords and spiralling melodies flowed from the speakers and washed over the exhausted mage, who couldn’t help but sigh, a mirror of his own relief. He continued playing long after they had fallen asleep, so lost in his thoughts and music that he didn’t notice his own whisper- “What it means... to be human...”

[sunnynoki]

Goodbye to Halos - How Fenic (The Main Protagonist) is Fenic (The Lost Princess)

Ok y’all buckle up because it’s about to be a wild ride.

FIRST OFF: READ GOODBYE TO HALOS. It has incredibly good writing and art and characterization!!! Fenic, the main protag, is a trans lesbian!! The other protags include (but are not limited to) a genderqueer gay lion and a poly wlw! I’ll post a link in the notes so this post shows up in tags, but a search of “Goodbye to Halos” will get you there in the first link!

Also cred to @demi-virgo​ for encouraging me to make this ;w;

Ok so I don’t know how to format this so let’s just start from the first hint and go from there.

And one more important note: Current Fenic will be referred to as just Fenic, and her mom will be referred to as The Lost Princess.

HINT ONE: THE MAAVE

So maave’s are, as a refresher, the mark under a Shade’s eye. They are a unifying trait of the shades (Along with horns and magic, but less so as they aren’t retained in children of Shades and Wildren, but I digress). But there are also "no two alike in form and color”, as Enae put it.

Which is WEIRD because 

Yeah. Impossible. UNLESS... THE LOST PRINCESS AND FENIC ARE THE SAME PERSON! And not in an amnesia kinda way, but in a restarting life kinda way. But we’ll get to that. 

Addendum: 

The wording of “you are very, very closely related to The Lost Princess” is weird when Enae already knows that Fenic is the lost princess’s daughter. Also the rest of this page speaks for itself I think. “Lost princess was immortal”, “There’s no other Fenics” (especially Fenics with that maave and other traits like red hair). This establishes that Fenic and the Lost Princess look similar, if not alike/identical. This will be essential in hint three.

Continued under the cut because I got a loooooottttt more ;3

HINT TWO: GOD’S BLESSING

So as the fight continues, God Herself literally steps in. Well, an avatar of Her’s, later named a Godeye.

God intercepted the knife from hitting Fenic. I won’t post the entire scene here, but basically God shoots the knife at Enae, wounding her BAD. But as God goes to send another attack, Fenic comes in and stands between the two. And then She freaks out????

Now maybe God isn’t a god, but God is just Her name? Also interesting is how She is the only one to use lower case, and only when She says “I”. But that’s another post, as I digress...

God Herself is asking forgiveness from Fenic? After Fenic asked (with her actions” for God not to attack Enae? Enae later talks about this in the following chapter:

“And that girl... blessed by God, she’s the only other one who can sway Her heart. Fenic...”

And who else was blessed by God? The Lost Princess. Before this, Fenic has had no reason to be blessed by god besides being related to the (immortal, may i remind you) lost princess who "died” before Fenic can remember. 

(Also another digression... the only other one? Who is the one Fenic is the “other one” off of? Maybe The Dead Princess? Maybe the old empress? Both are dead, but it’s phrased that she’s one of two, and coming off this theory, perhaps she and The Dead Princess pair up to be the two that can sway God’s heart.)

HINT THREE: ASHER AND TAHMONAI

So their meeting has a ton of different sentences that lead towards this theory, so I’m just going to group them all here. (Note: Enae is narrating and Asher and Tahmonai are talking about The Lost Princess. Tahmonai morphed to The Lost Princess to ask if Asher has seen her.)

“The person you’re looking for... she doesn’t exist anymore” and “That, too was-- somehow -- not true” and “[The Lost Princess] is really immortal too”... these statements don’t have a lot of intersections in the venn diagram of where they can all be true. The only fact that I can think of that does make them true is that Fenic is the rebirth of The Lost Princess. Continuing onto the next page...

There’s a lot to break down here:

“She... was a dear friend of mine.” Meaning The Lost Princess was a friend, not a romantic interest with whom he would have a child with.

“Someone I was lucky enough to know all my life, even if she only knew me for a fraction of her’s.” Implying that The Lost Princess was MUCH older than Asher. Immortality, anyone?

“But there are... circumstances now. Nothing will come of this, Tahmonai.” If this theory is true, then those circumstances are that The Lost Princess doesn’t have her memories, she restarted her life. She isn’t the same person. It clicks.

“Stay in my office. I’ll make arrangements.” Implying he is going to see The Lost Princess to arrange a sort of meeting. But instead he goes to Fenic to send her through the portal. Funny writing there, don’t you think?

After Asher sends Fenic through the portal...

“Did I do the right thing, old friend...?” The name “old friend” is being used here to denote he’s talking about The Lost Princess. Perhaps where she/her reborn self just went through the portal?

“I have to believe this is what you wanted.” (The word “wanted” can be seen if you zoom in close, at least at full resolution). Keyword: “this”. Not “that”. “This” means something that is near, something that was just there. Why would he use “this” for something from someone who is dead? No, what if she, or a version of herself, was just there? And what exactly she, The Lost Princess, wanted? We’ll get to that in hint five.

TO THE NEXT PAGE!

PROBABLY THE HEAVIEST PAGE OF THEM ALL

“I already told you the person you’re looking for doesn’t exist anymore.” Not died, “doesn’t exist anymore.” Specific choice of words!

“Not in a way that’s useful to you.” As in she no longer has her memories, perhaps? That she’s currently a 15 year old? 

“And before she left, she told me...” Before she LEFT. Not died! LEFT!

“That she didn’t want her past to haunt her anymore.” THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT IN HINT FIVE.

“She started over.” BAM. PROBABLY THE CORNERSTONE OF THIS THEORY. Combine these three words with the rest of the theory, and you get the conclusion that “starting over” means something along the lines of reincarnation. But I’ll get to the reincarnation bit later. 

SO THATS ALL UP TO WHERE THE COMIC IS RIGHT NOW! BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE REREAD?

HINT FOUR: FENIC AS A NAME

Now this one is a little shorter but in the prologue we see Fenic name herself for the first time.

After being called a lady, she sorta panics as, like, what’s she gonna do, give her a boy’s name when she’s a girl and just been called that? And her first instinct is to go with her mother’s name. Like, sure, maybe it’s because she think’s “girl’s name go” and the girl/woman/female closest to her is her mom. But I like to think it’s an instinct to keep the same name. It could be read either way, but I feel like it was worth mentioning. 

ALONG WITH A BONUS THEORY. The Lost Princess is trans. I’ve been thinking about how The Lost Princess would restart, and seeing how the maave is the same, the body is likely the same as well, implying a restart like that of a phoenix. Sorta. Meaning that the AGAB is the same. Maybe Asher didn’t know if restarting life would retain trans-ness or w/e OR he didn’t know The Lost Princess was trans. Either way he went with AGAB, clearly. I like to think that The Lost Princess spent a lot of time thinking about her name so it’s really ingrained in her so that it’s an instinct to be called Fenic :]

HINT FIVE: WHY?

So. That mystery chapter huh? Here’s a proposal- who we see is The Lost Princess.

Think about it, the person we see doesn’t have horns or some sort of tail or animal ears, eliminating someone who is purely Shade or Wildren. This leaves Fenic, The Dead Princess, or The Lost Princess, all born of both species. The hair doesn’t match The Dead Princess’s hair, so that eliminates her. 

This leaves the Fenics, whose hair DO match, assuming The Lost Princess and Fenic have the same hair texture, which in the frame of what has been discussed, it does. 

NOW THIS PAGE

Feels like a reason to be reborn to me.

Granted, this chapter, LITERALLY TITLED “premonition” and the names at the beginning could EASILY be shortened for Clairissa and Enae, who would’ve been only babies or unborn when The Lost Princess was around. This is VERY likely in the future, with Fenic. But I only realized this after I started referring to it earlier in the post, so no going back. 

But maybe it’s salvageable. Maybe Fenic is having the same thoughts as The Lost Princess. The Lost Princess, as stated in hint three, didn’t want the past to haunt her anymore. So she chose to forget in a new life, reborn. 

Maybe Fenic is thinking about following in her mother’s footsteps.

This premonition chapter, along with the whole other conspiracy board of “What’s up with Salin (The Dead Princess) and Tahmonai?”, have me very concerned for the future. 

Afterword

Thank you so much for getting this far ;w; I hope and pray that I made literally any sense. As I was collecting pages to put in here, I noticed that this is quite a common theory if the comment section of the pages is anything to go by. I thought so too before all this, so I didn’t really want to put the effort into a post, but Virgo encouraged me to make it anyway sooooo 

Either way, this can still work as a collection of evidence, and an archive on our, or at least my, thoughts on “What’s up with the Fenics” question! Hopefully later down the line we can look at this and be like, “called it!” or, “honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.” 

I could go on about the implications of this theory, but that’s another post of this length tbhhhhhhhhh and also its uh. 12am LOL.

Please reblog this to spread the theory! Even if it’s common, spread it to convince people to read gth? :pleading: I spent like. 2-3 hours on this to try to get my wording right and cohesive, which is really hard for me as I’m very much more an artist than a writer haaaaaaaaa

Thank you so much for reading again! Good morning, good afternoon, good night <3