#anyway. i'm gonna keep scrolling tumblr

[thegempage]

what's like. the chill way to be okay with people not giving a shit about what you're talking about jfkdlasfdkjsaf

(this got too long i'm throwing the rest under a cut)

like. like. like i feel like i'm Almost there. bcus i can fully acknowledge that most of my interests (esp these days) are niche, ranging from "pretty popular indie game" to "d&d show with a consistent fanbase of six people" levels of such. and understand that a good chunk of the time people Do Not Know what i'm talking about. like more often than not, folks i'm talking to outside of spaces For Those Interests are Only getting information about it From Me. and can't really engage with me when i'm talking about those things

but whenever i want to!! say that it's fine if people don't want to engage with me or want to mute channels where i talk about my special interests or that i'm used to being ignored when i'm rambling!! it comes out sounding so goddamn sad and pathetic. and i'm fully aware that part of that acceptance does come from the fact that people in the past have ignored me in a way that hurt when i talked about my special interests or just in general.

like it's Fine. i don't expect anyone to engage with me when they have no interest in what i'm talking about. if they do, then i'm happy, obviously, but i'm never really counting on it, and if people want to dip from that conversation i'm not gonna blame them. i talk too long sometimes and i get too into the weeds in spaces where it's unnecessary.

i don't know. i started this to be silly but maybe i am just. fucking sad or whatever. maybe if i actually didn't give a shit i wouldn't feel the need to clarify but whatever at this point, right?

[remitiras]

I've been reading Tumblr posts on Pinterest for forever now and I've always been scared of opening an account, because I knew I'll definitely get addicted to it.

Lucky for me I just see the same five posts over and over again on my dash and it's enough to get me to stop scrolling XD

[neverendingford]

.

[pseudowho]

okay here’s me getting all cocky and confident because you answered my ask once (ily for that seriously i think i screamed and fainted and sobbed and climbed up the walls a little) and once again asking you for….. for crumbs………. so my horny self was sitting and thinking…………… nanami sees you reading absolute filth and porn and you end up in biig trouble.. (i.e him doing that exact thing to you 😭) or perhaps you going up to nanami after reading absolute filth and being all needy with him bcs that straight porn made you a liittle…….. yk… 🌚🌚🌚

anyways i literally love you and ur my favorite writer ever and im gonna stop now before i burst

SMUT [smuht] (noun)

In which Nanami Kento catches you reading dirty literature...and punishes you with a performative reading.

Warnings: The anon who keeps targeting me like this needs a warning label...but otherwise: roleplay, erotic literature (*laughs and laughs in Tumblr*) being read to you while you're systematically destroyed, performative Bad!Nanami, Kento fucks you wearing a mask and leather gloves, Pleasure Dom!Kento who gets lost in the sauce, reader way out of her depth, bondage, the usual spicy goodness, couple of cheeky movie references

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

The one she knew only as the Man in the Mask swept over to her, delighting in her capture, having evaded him for so long.

"Ahhh..." he sighed, his breath sweeping over the swell of her breasts, and sending shivers down her spine. "Finally...the little mouse who has wreaked havoc on my dreams for too many lonely nights. How does it feel? To be trapped here with me like this?"

Her heart stalled in her chest, and she gasped, his grazing touch to her belly leaving embers in its wake. The Man in the Mask saw her nipples pebble beneath her shirt, and felt something snap inside him as he loomed over her with a whisper; "I know. I feel it too."

With little warning, he lowered his barely covered mouth to her neck, hungry against her, and--

The door opened, and you leapt out of your skin, dropping your phone to the floor. You sat bolt upright in bed, your other hand coming up guiltily from beneath the covers as Kento leaned into the bedroom to greet you. You interrupted him.

"You're home early," you said, offering an unconvincing smile. Kento looked at you, flatly. He let the statement hang for a moment. His shrewd eyes flicked, taking in the glossy subtleties he saw from you only in foreplay.

"...well I thought you'd be pleased, but I'll just go back then shall I--"

You hesitated, words caught in your throat. Your eyes flickered to your phone. So did Kento's. His eyes narrowed.

"...what are you read--"

"Nothing! It's nothing." You lied, unconvincing. You both hesitated for a moment more, before Kento darted. You cursed at him for being faster than you, and Kento's fingers closed around your phone, sitting beside you on the bed in one swift movement. You smothered a pillow over your face, screaming silently, wanting the duvet to grow great maws and swallow you whole.

Kento read silently for a moment, scrolling, before reading aloud; "...she didn't want to fight anymore, as his fingers slid between her puffy lips...goodness me...his cock strained against the fabric of his clothes, begging for attention...I bet it did..."

You had begun to crawl away down the bed, just a maggot, unworthy of the sun and all its glories.

You felt a hand clasp around your ankle, and you squeaked as Kento dragged you back up the bed, without even taking his eyes off your phone.

"I don't think so, where are you going--"

"--oh god Kento just give me something for the cringe and let me die--"

"--no no no I'm blessed to be a part of my wife's interests--"

"--I am less than human, we need a divorce, I can't look you in the eye ever again--"

Kento scoffed, dark and derisive. "As if I'd let you divorce me. As if you'd even want to...now, where did I put that..."

Kento stood, still holding your phone as he rummaged in his dresser. You laid flat to the bed, trying to wiggle away again, still embarrassingly wet, your mortification laced with undeniable arousal.

"Stay exactly where you are, or I'll damn well make you."

You stopped. You looked up at Kento, unusually meek, as he approached you. He stood by the bed, looming and powerful, a god made flesh. He unbuttoned his shirt to the navel, not bothering to remove his harness. He undid his belt with a clink-clink. He let his tie hang loose...and pulled a black balaclava down to beneath his collar. He finished off with a pair of soft, black leather gloves.

Something imploded inside you; a dial-up noise in your mind. Kento prowled over to you, looming over you and chasing you up the bed, caging you beneath him, and reading through the smut on your phone screen.

"Be honest," Kento read aloud, his honey-brown eyes swirling with something altogether darker and more dangerous, "if you'd wanted to escape me...you could have."

You panted, breathless, your pupils blown into inky black as you lay splayed beneath Kento. You couldn't help but be captivated, lost in his insidious pull. You felt your heartbeat between your legs.

"Did you stay because you dream of me, too?" Kento intoned. You bit the poisoned apple, trembling as you nodded up at him. "Did you stay...because you wondered if hatred was as erotic a passion as love?"

"--Kento, I-- let me go, I--"

"That's the spirit." Laughed Kento, his voice booming through you, the vibrations crackling across every nerve, and you whimpered. Kento grasped your hands together with his own, gloved and powerful, pinning them above your head with the whole weight of his body. He pulled his tie loose with the hand holding your phone.

"I can't let you leave...not now. Fuck...you have no idea what you do to me, do you?" Kento growled. Being the villain seemed so effortless to him. Your safe word had never been further from your mind, your attempts to leave so paltry and insincere. The way Kento looked down at you, waiting to see if you would make him stop, sent shivers down your spine. Kento released his tie, eyes skimming across your phone for confirmation.

"I'd apologise, for trapping you here like this..." Kento intoned, tying your bound wrists to the head of the bed as you squirmed, crying out in anguish, "...but I'll show you...how you've craved my touch, just as I have craved yours." You strained against the bonds, in just the silky chemise you wore for bed, and it didn't take much for your breasts to fall free of the fine little straps.

In truth, Kento had never been harder in his life. Seeing you battle against primal desire beneath him, feeling your half-hearted embarrassed squirms brushing your bare mound against his aching, thick cock...and your nipples, hard as diamonds and covered by a thin veneer of lace. His breaths were heavy, chest heaving as he continued his performative reading.

"Just one taste, and we can return to how it was before." Kento groaned, his mouth suckling at your neck, licking, tasting, biting. You cringed against the assault on your senses, afraid to lose yourself to such diabolical pleasure. Kento pinned your bucking hips down with his own, the tip of his cock trapped beneath his waistband against his belly. "Just once...and we can rest easy at night, knowing how it feels for me to spend myself inside you."

You keened, mewling as Kento rested the phone on the pillow beside your head, and took your nipple into his mouth, ragging it around beneath his tongue with a fractured growl. Your head spun with the weight of him, totally captured, so wildly out of control. The suckling pleasure he gave to your nipples, connected in a fine thread to your clit, making it pulse with vicarious bliss.

"I can't...can't take it anymore...Ken--" You moaned, squeaking as his teeth closed in barely hinged warning around your breast.

"Unless it's to tell me to fuck you, I won't have you mewl like a kitten at me any longer." Kento rumbled against your breast, wet with his spit and the marks he left behind as he took what he was owed. "I hope you can take it. I'm...no small man. If you are ruined, after, I know you will bear the scars with grace, just as you have bore your hatred of me."

You were already so steeped in the hot rush of being pleasured, you did not notice how Kento's eyes glowered, lathering down your body and darting occasionally back to your phone. He continued his pilgrimage down your body. Kento growled in frustration at the chemise blocking him, and he rucked it up, spitting curses as you squeaked, wriggling against him.

"At least fight like you mean it." Kento laughed, and you blushed, eyes squeezed shut, mortified by how obviously faked your resistance was. Kento kissed his way down your belly, settling at your mound. He hovered, silent, giving your desperate clit nought but the breath from his lips.

"Do you want my fingers...or my mouth?" You whimpered again, babbling nonsense, such a rough and ruined heroine. Kento laughed again, dark and delicious, raising his mask just enough to free his mouth. "No words? No matter. You shall have both."

With little warning, Kento sunk his tongue between your folds, ragging his mouth and nose from side to side again to bury himself in the heat of you. You cried out as he growled into your heat, hitting a high note as he sunk two thick, gloved fingers into your fluttering pussy, slamming inside all the way to his knuckles.

Kento swore against your pussy, grunting and moaning as he lapped at your clit and entrance with animalistic rage. Quite canonically to his role, his cock wept against his belly, pre-cum leaking down onto his waistband until the fabric was cloying and sticky, the friction against his tip sending him spiralling. He couldn't help but fuck against the bed as you melted beneath him, writhing against his tongue.

Panting, letting his gloved fingers fuck into you and imagining it was his cock instead, Kento chuckled against your clit, at just how easily he had snapped. He pulled his fingers out of you for a moment, wickedly obsessed by the stark contrast of your creamy white arousal on the black leather.

He could smell you on the balaclava, the fabric over his nose soaking with your essence. Kento felt lightheaded with the blooming, heady scent of you. His cock twitched, aching and neglected, and so close to spilling thick spurts of seed all over its owner.

You risked looking down for just a moment. The eyes of a villain pierced through you, as Kento licked his gloves clean, not breaking eye contact once. You whimpered. He laughed, and curled his fingers back into you, continuing his relentless attack on your poor, aching cunt. Your moans reached a fever pitch, and Kento felt the creep of his own orgasm through his belly as he rutted against the bed with total abandon.

"Sing for me." He groaned, lifting your hips off the bed as he knelt, sucking your clit into his mouth in a devastating final move. You tipped violently over the edge, bucking against his tongue and crying his name, a stream of nonsensical babbles. Kento was quite sure you came harder than the girl in the story.

By the time you came back to earth, being licked in slow, languid movements through your peak, you saw Kento kneeling between your legs, stroking his cock in long, jerking pumps.

"You've reduced me to this." Kento forced, his teeth gritted and his mask back in place over his mouth. "To this...this boy, fucking his own fist just from the taste of you." Kento cursed, his gloved fist wet with pre-cum, cracking his neck from side to side and growling through his lurid tale. You lay, fucked out, bound, a fascinated by how Kento's whiskey-rich voice could fill you with fumes, warm and drunk one minute, but cold and piercing the next. You swung, manoeuvred across his harsh dichotomy.

Kento loomed over you, trapping you beneath him again, blocking the light from your eyes, a bad moon rising. "You did this to me." He hissed, accusatory in his possession of you. "You started this sordid fight. But I'll finish it. No more fisting my cock at night just to the thought of you. No more dreaming about bending you to my will."

You felt Kento's tip press through your entrance, thick and insistent enough that you squirmed up the bed, crying out as he yanked you back, his hands closing around your waist. Kento plaited his fingers in your tied hands, the ghost of affection, and readying himself to slam into your quivering heat. He was falling apart, he could barely contain himself, overcome by the raw power of making you pliable, shaping you to his desires--

Kento whispered in your ear, his voice shaking, gravelly; "And when you submit...know that it was entirely your fault."

You felt your delicate petals forced aside, crying out to be filled to the brim by Kento in one slick thrust. Kento could barely suppress a roar beneath his mask, throwing his head back in ecstasy. His enormous hands cuffed your waist, making it squidge down against your hips every time he dragged your hips, moving your pussy around him like a cock sleeve.

Kento's strength made manhandling you look easy. You lay ruined beneath him, your head lolling against the inside of your own bound arm. The image of him unbuttoned, masked, gloved and still almost fully dressed above you, grunting and groaning as he used your pussy for his own pleasure, burned onto your retinas.

Kento barely moved his own hips, his eyes fixed feverishly on where he dragged your swollen pussy around the length of his cock, twitching and burning inside you. He couldn't contain himself. The hook behind his navel, all scorched steel and selfishness, beseeched him to drag his pleasure from you.

"Fucking-- ruin you-- never be satisfied...by another man again-- keep running from me, and I'll hunt you down...and take you like this every-- fucking-- time--"

As Kento's pleasure roared over him, he punctuated his thrusts against your belly with the written word in action. Making nothing more than jolted, pitiful moans as he fucked repeatedly against your sensitive cervix and soft-spot, you clambered for purchase, sobbing your pleasure as his gloved fingers rolled your clit between them.

Kento came with a string of curses, his thighs cramping beneath him with the force of it. Feeling his seed begin to pump and spurt into you, he dragged you aggressively to another orgasm with his leathered fingers. He had to feel you clench around him, sucking his seed deep inside you. He had just enough forethought to recall his final, toxic line as he gasped, groaning and bucking with the force of his ejaculation.

You could barely hear him through the fog of pleasure, faint in the distance; "If you have the nerve...to crawl back to me...full and swollen-- know we can be enemies in matrimony, as well as battle."

The room was hushed and dark, the gloom broken only by your mingled, heavy breaths, and the earthy smell of sex. You reached up pulling Kento's balaclava up and pressing a breathless little kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"...but...we still have to get a divorce. I just-- couldn't live with you knowing what I read--"

Kento laughed, his shoulders aching from the weight of the villain, slipping away with his gloves and mask.

[decolonize-the-everything]

I am an anarchist first and firstmost, but the things people are saying about project 2025 is getting to me. They keep invoking death camps and Holocaust imagery for trans people and as a jew that really scared me. i don't want them to get rid of medicaid or ssi because i would die without them. is it just fearmongering from libs? i don't want to die but i don't want to vote either. I'm just really scared as a trans disabled jew.

Is it just fear-mongerering? Until the supreme court ruling on Trump said that presidents are immune from official acts I was sure it was. Now?

I don't know, honestly.

Something I don't talk about a lot on here is how fucking scary it is to be marginalized right now. And I wanna say that I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I get it, you know?

White supremacy is on the rise and white supremacists are getting bolder. Libs are using white supremacist threats against instead of helping. It's a lot. It's so much.

One of the things that helps a lot when I'm feeling defeated though is actually being able to log on to Tumblr and scroll through my asks and see people letting me know they've started talking to their families about white supremacy, or dismantling it in themselves, or that something I said made something click for them so they're gonna start doing more than just voting or that they'll start protest voting or voting for people who are actually in line with their morals.

You know, Ive gotten messages from teenagers as young as 15 (so they said on anon anyway) asking me what they can do to make a difference, telling me they started decolonizing by taking care of rivers near them (awesome start for a minor!!)

People are good too.

And they are fighting and they Want to fight and they fight because they know you deserve better. Every year there are more of these people, too, anon.

Hate might be loud, but it doesn't mean the love is absent.

Community care is love and please know it's there and growing and available for you whenever you need it from me.

💗

Can y'all help me give anon some support please. And while you're in the comments drop some knowledge that's helped you combat white supremacy. Show anon you're doing the work and won't let project 2025 hurt them.

I need y'all to increase your allyship 10000x

I made a post saying this last night but it's true.

We're fucking scared. And we can't be the only people fighting for us and listening to each other. We need allies. We need allies Loudly having enough solidarity to take risks and protest white supremacy in all it's forms.

Show anon you've not decided to leave them to the wolves, please

[notitlesapply]

So I thought of a funny Waxer & Boil (with bonus Cody) scenario that I wanted to share, that is slightly based off real events.

So my kid (who is a toddler) likes looking over my shoulder when I scroll through Tumblr and the kid has started to recognize the clones whenever they appear. The baby is very excited when seeing a clone, pointing at the screen and shouting happily. The thing is, the baby calls all of them Cody. All of them. (To be fair, Cody shows up the most on my dash.)

So it made me think about what if Cody were to rescue a civilian toddler, and he was the first clone the kid ever interacted with. However, Cody's pretty busy, so he passes off the baby to Waxer and Boil. Waxer is ecstatic. Boil grumbles that just because they rescued Numa that one time that doesn't make them qualified to be babysitters. (Crys offers to take Boil's place, but Boil practically bites his hand off. Like hell Boil's gonna let someone else take his responsibility.)

Anyway, Waxer is trying to teach the little "tubie" some new words, but the kid just keeps saying "Cody" and bopping Waxer on the nose. At first, Waxer is worried that the kid has gotten attached to Cody but when he tries to pass the baby to Obi-Wan to give to Cody, the baby reaches back to Waxer demandingly shouting "Cody Cody Cody!"

Obi-Wan: I think this little one wants to stay with you, Waxer.

Waxer: *confused* But I'm not Cody.

Boil: *snorting* I don't think the tubie knows any better. Lemme show you. Kid, who am I?

Toddler: Cody! 🥰

Boil: *points to Waxer* And who's this?

Toddler: 'Nother Cody! 🥰

Boil: *points to Obi-Wan* And this guy?

Toddler: *confused* Not Cody?

Waxer is a little devastated. He doesn't want this tubie to be like those asshole nat-borns who can't tell clones apart! Boil on the other hand is like, "it's a kid and doesn't know any better. It's fine."

But Waxer is determined. He's going to get this baby to tell them apart. It's his mission.

Waxer: I'm Waxer! And this is Boil! Can you say that? Wax-er. Bo-il.

Toddler: Cody! 🥰

Waxer: 😭

As the day goes on Waxer is falling deeper and deeper into despair. Boil is starting to find the whole thing hilarious. The baby sees any clone and is super happy, but still calls them all Cody. Boil starts showing the baby different pictures of different clones trying to see if the kid says anything different. (He also films it.)

Boil: *holds up a picture of Commander Fox* Who's this?

Toddler: Cody! 🥰

Boil: *holds up picture of Commander Wolffe* And this?

Toddler: Cody! 🥰

Boil: *ruffles kid's hair* Good job, kiddo!

Waxer: Don't encourage them! 😭

Boil's pretty sure this video is going to get him a ton of stuff in the GAR trading circles. He just needs to find the right person to give it to...

Anyway they eventually take the kid to the mess hall for mid-meal. Of course the place is packed with clones.

Toddler: *awed* Look at all these Codys! 🥰🥰🥰

Waxer: *crying a little* The baby is going to grow up to be an anti-clone asshole!

Toddler: *looking up at Waxer* Don't be sad, Cody.🥺🥺🥺

Boil: *camera rolling* 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah, don't be sad Cody!

Eventually, Boil and the rest of the 212th convince Waxer it isn't that bad.

Trapper: It's not like the kid is calling us anything terrible like flesh-droids or meat-puppets.

Longshot: And at least we're being named after someone cool. Imagine if we were all called Threepwood.

Threepwood: Hey!

Wooley: I think it's kinda cute the kid calls us all Cody. They obviously like the Commander and now likes all of us!

Crys: 🤔 Do you think we can convince other nat-borns that we're Cody? Think about what we could get away with!

Waxer stares at the baby. The baby stares back, and then gives him a giant smile. Waxer melts.

Eventually they have to give the kid up. The 212th (especially Waxer) are sad to see the baby go. Luckily, they were able to find the kid's family. And while the 212th aren't headed in that direction, the 501st are, so the 501st offers to ferry the kid back home. Obi-Wan, Cody, Waxer, and Boil are all there to transfer the kid to Anakin and Rex.

Of course, as soon as their eyes land on Rex, the baby cries out happily "Cody! 🥰"

Cody: *gently* No, no, that's Rex. See? He's blue.

Toddler: *nodding sagely* Rex...he blue.

Waxer: 😱 Wait, that's all it takes?! 🤯

Boil: 🤣

(The whole 501st is now "Rex." Some of them *coughFivescough* abuse this.)

[bonesandthebees]

Okay fuck it. I think scrolling for hours today is enough DJFKGKFK I'll just log back out. I wanna focus my energy on more positive things

Im so gonna log back in the minute my friend sends me another tweet but HDKGKGKD no. I will do my best. He's not worth our time man.

Okay one more tiny rant about him and then I promise I'll stop I just OOOHHMYGODHFJGKG HE JUST. I had so much hope. That. He would reply and it wouldn't fix things, I wouldn't go back to watching him or anything but at the very least I could get closure that like? Maybe his closer friends would be able to heal and move on? Idk if that's parasocial or whatever but he was such a big role model for me the past few years I really had hope that at least some parts of it were real, you know? And instead we just find out that he not only did these shitty things but didn't fucking learn and did it to other people too and??? It's really really upsetting that he created this safe space, this community of people who were all so lovely while just being. Fake. The whole time. And he doesn't even have the gull to properly apologise and I just??#?# idk what to do with my emotions LMFAO I'd finally started to feel better and like move on but now today I'm just angry again grgrgfhfjdkdk and I totally get that like him being a complete dickhead is easier in a lot of ways bc there's no. Doubting it. Or anything. Like there's no redeeming him. And we can get closure from that. But fuckkk it hurts so badly and the tl is a mess of ppl being like "well this person would never do me wrong" and then ppl being like "fuck every YouTuber ever actually. We can't ever be sure we know them" and LIKE!$?_?$?

Dude I am so conflicted on so many levels rn I feel like my entire world has just been yeeted into the sun LMFAODKFKFKFK

Anyways. Anyways. Thank you bee. Ur tumblr is the only account w a brain rn fr lmfaodjfkfkfks

I get it, I'm fucking furious at him. he had a chance to at least own up to what he did. I wouldn't have gone back to consuming his content, but I could be somewhat at peace knowing he was taking steps towards being better.

I don't want to think it was all a lie, because abusers aren't all completely evil people. the thing is, wilbur is human. a very shitty human, but human nonetheless. and we can't know for sure how healthy or unhealthy every relationship in his life has ever been and I think overanalyzing that or trying to figure out what was fake and what was real isn't really our business or worth our time. wilbur is a guy who has hurt a lot of people, but also refuses to recognize the hurt he's caused. that's it.

I do hate the dichotomy I'm seeing between people trying to prop up their own favorite white boys on a pedestal because apparently people never learn, but also going out and saying every content creator is inherently evil and we shouldn't trust any of them. these people are human. they're all going to fuck up at some point, some worse than others. and sometimes they'll fuck up in a way that they can move past and we can forgive them for, and other times they'll fuck up in a way that shows they shouldn't have the platform they have. they're not all terrible, and they're not all perfect. that's what we should be keeping in mind for the future.

[shiftingwitholive]

ok, so, i felt like i needed to make this post because my whole outlook on shifting and my reasons for doing it have changed.

when i first started this blog (and by extention, properly got into shifting) i was looking to escape. i'm gonna be honest, i've had a pretty rough go, and when i first discovered shifting my mental health was absolutely terrible. i was constantly tired, i was having horrific panic attacks, i was being bullied, i had no friends and i hated everything about my life. i felt completely stuck in my situation, but i thought that if i shifted to another reality i would never have to deal with that again, right? anyway, then in maybe november or december last year things got even worse, but what pulled me out in part was thinking about how i would never get to meet my DR friends and do everything like that. i pretty much obsessed over this one DR, i would think about it and pretend i was already in it and i made a private tumblr sideblog for making posts as though i was in my dr, i would draw my friends and listen to music and scroll through pins that reminded me of the reality,and it literally saved my life.

Thankfully, now i'm much better, i'm definately gonna be okay. so i don't need an escape any more. nowadays i'm not shifting to get away and run from my CR, i'm shifting to explore and have new experiences and see and do things that i would never get to do in this reality, and it's been great! i think now that i have my intentions more in line and i'm more content with this reality the rest of the realities have been opened up to me, i've been getting way more symptoms and i think i might shift soon! i'm so excited!

because of this, i've also decided that a username change is in order, so for those who know me as excap1ng-real1ty i am still the same person, but that just doesnt really apply to me anymore.

btw: this is not to say that if your main reason is to escape that you won't be able to shift, this is just my personal experience.

with that being said, happy shifting and good luck everyone! you do have the ability to shift realities and you will get there, you just have to keep trying. bye loves!

[justanotherblogger]

Small Tang Ramble

Right now, I have started rewatching the entire Lego Monkie Kid series from the start while I wait to see the recent season 5 episodes (that I was suckerpunched with when scrolling through Tumblr and having some stuff spoiled whene I didnt even think a new season would come for at least a few more months).

Then, when I finally got to season 4, I noticed something interesting with how they handle Tang's powers.

At the start of the season, it's revealed that Tang's cheat sheet, given to him by Azure Lion, was something that supposedly should've been helpful to someone "mysticly powerful, comparable to the Great Monk, Tang Sanzang", then the sheet should be a piece of cake so to speak.

Then we see how Tang struggles and has a hard time finding where his friends are located, but then a Golden Cicada helps him to find Pigsy, which was the same one that flew around the Samadhi Fire ritual site when Mei had it reunited within her.

That's not my topic right now, though, so I'll just skip the "random destiny bugs" (name given to me by a friend), and keep going towards my main point.

Anyways, skipping a few episode to when the meet the Great Master (I forgot the guys name), we see how Tang got berated for his lack of courage and work ethic. Then Tang and the rest of the gang are put to train, and I'm not exactly sure on how long they were in training for, but I'm going to assume a few hours at the sky visibly got darker near the end of the montage.

(I'm pretty sure that something akin to a stop in time for them to train would have been stated in the show itself if that was an explanation for how long they have been training for, so I'm gonna rule out any sort of "checkpoint" or "rest stop" rules here, like when you can stay in a safe space for whatever amount of time and come out with little time passed afterwards.)

The reason why I'm talking about how long they've trained for, is because after (what I assume) is a few hours, Tang is able to teleport a WHOLE AIR BALLOON, RIGHT ON TOP OF WHERE THEY NEEDED TO BE, WITHOUT HIS STAFF NO LESS.

*ahem* We know Tang had struggled with the teleportation magic from the beginning, even with his staff along with only transporting 3 people, and the magic level required to do so is comparable to the Monk, who is very powerful considering what we've seen in how his training was revered by the great master for being extensive plus how the Monk focussed only on his studies, and in-show examples. (Ex. Releasing the heavenly seal put on monkey king singehandedly, sealing the Samadhi Fire along with three others, then also Sealing the Lady Bone Demon to where she can only escape through her self reflecting or a rare, mystical key, etc)

I'm just saying how it's very impressive how Tang could go from barely being able to teleport accurately with 3 people, the staff in hand, to figuring out how to teleport accurately, how to teleport something as big as an airship, and then gaining enough focus/mystic power to do the teleport without his staff for this first time shown in the show. And remember this: all of this growth was in, at most, half a day.

And we know how long the Great Monk had to study to get to where he was, "learning everything there was to learn" with him blocking out anything else to focus purely on his studies to get where he was, and yes, he probably studied more than just the teleportation magic in his time, but Azure said it himself, that someone "mysticly powerful, comparable to the Great Monk, Tang Sanzang" should be able to figure out the cheet sheet, or at least versed in the mystical topic.

I already showcased how much work is really needed through that comment, but then Azure showed it again in his comment of "if hes learned it in the mystical arts.." describing how this would have needed to be taught like how they gang were forced to with the Great Master. We already know how hard the training from the Great Master was to get even a fraction of Mk's power, and considering how heavily it's put on how the Monk only studied and studied when it was talked about, with the students in the flashback looking like the ones under the Great Master, I would assume learning the mystic arts takes a similar amount of time and effort.

And now that my points have been laid out, you guys get it when I was gobsmacked at how quickly Tang grew in the time with the Great Master, reiterating my point of how Tang was able to figure out HOW TO DO TELEPORT AND AIRSHIP WITHOUT THE CHEAT SHEET, WITH HIS BARE HANDS, IN A MATTER OF HOURS when it was heavily implied (from what interpreted) that doing something like this would take a considerable amount of time and training, even for the Monk as he was said to only focus on his studies to optimize his mystic abilities and to block any distractions.

And then to add to this, it was only ever shown in the show that Tang only read throughout the entire training session. Whenever we see him in the montage, it's him reading scrolls no matter what. We never see him practice, or even mimic any of the moves or exercise that I would assume would be on those scrolls for him to learn. Then, the first time he ever put those ideas he read about into practice after using the staff the entire time before and messing it up, he was able to make the transportation of the airship fast, accurate, and without the help of the staff entirely.

TLDR: Tang is either so good at cramming that he was able to shorten a good year of learning into a couple hours, or he's severely gifted in the mystic arts with the right training or examples. Either way, if you gave this man a week in the scroll library with some noodles and motivation from the Great Master, then I would assume he might actually become one of the most powerful characters LMK, given the time to do so. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[genericpuff]

Do you know of anything similar to Stimuwrite for art? I've been struggling so much to draw my comics because ADHD is a bitch so honestly any advice you have would be great <3 obviously what works for one person might not for another but boy I'm so tired of just scrolling through tumblr trying to make myself draw and it just not happening

Ah, I wish I did! Honestly, for me it was just about building habits and routines. Considering how much time I spend at my desk anyways, I naturally gravitate to drawing comics when I've got spare time because it's right there anyways! But it's also gotta be something I'm actually really interested in making, because as the 'ole ADHD goes, if it doesn't generate the dopamine, the creating isn't gonna happen :'0 Even while working on Rekindled there are still loads of times where I'm like "BLEEEH I DON'T WANNA DO THISSSS" because as fun as it is to work on, it's still a lot of work! Fun doesn't always facilitate the focusing. And trying to force yourself to focus by cutting out everything else unfortunately just isn't a solution for everyone.

I find just tackling the work in small parts can help a lot. When I'm struggling with focusing on my work, I tell myself, "something is better than nothing". So I try to get at least one panel done, or one sketch, or just something that will feel a little less like nothing. It's okay if I don't get much done that day, because something is better than nothing. Over time that "something" can become more than just one panel or one sketch. It's a slow process but through practice and repetition you can build stronger and more efficient working routines that will keep you focused and get work done at a pace that works for you. But the key is to remember to rest also and forgive yourself for not getting "as much" work done as you did the day before, especially on those days where focusing is hard. Having ADHD makes it hard to think what you're doing is "enough" but even just getting a small drawing out or a single panel is enough, especially if you're just learning how to draw comics still or just starting out with a project that you're doing for yourself and whoever finds your work. Remind yourself of that always <3

And if anyone ever DOES find an app for focusing on art stuff similar to programs like StimuWrite, feel free to reblog with your suggestions!!! <3 I'm sure there's gotta be SOMETHING out there but there are none that I can recall or know of and it would be pretty dang sweet if there was.

Otherwise... make your own little reward systems where you can :' ) <3 (I like doing rounds of dungeon crawling in FF XIV in between panels LMAO)

[oncillamoltres]

actually looking back at the archive i'm. not sure how much it got onto tumblr that connie's been a complete wreck this weekend. most of it was either on discord or like? vaguely implied? for like the first time in the history of lovenpeace-pkmn i've actually managed to get anthea to talk more about her feelings than concordia???

anyway. what's been going on is:

somewhere around Friday Nictoria @/ariadosanon had that video posted of her brutally murdering some Rocket's pokemon. Connie, veteran of last time Nic was on Rotomblr, was planning to just scroll past and ignore it, but it ended up becoming a major topic of discussion on the Taskforce Distortion Gliscord server. this was not great for Connie's mental health

literally the next day @/cherrytree-irl N was hospitalized by a hydreigon. neither Anthea nor Concordia took this well (a); Connie, who has herself been attacked by hydreigon, spent most of the day offline trying not to have panic attacks.

however she did ask the Taskforce server if they could keep discussion of Nic's crimes to the vent channels, which was very brave of her because she's bad at asking for what she needs and also more intimidated by Lynda than she lets on.

Sunday Connie made a concerted effort to Stay Home and Do Something Fun With Her Kid to like. recalibrate her nervous system. unfortunately Anthea ended up pissed off enough about some things Byrd @/swellowmypride said in the Taskforce gliscord that she ended up like. actually venting her frustrations for once. including the thoughts on Connie's self-hatred that she's been biting back.

I'm really happy there was an opportunity to throw that in actually Anthea's been quietly bothered by that for ages now

anyway. A+C apologized to each other offscreen (this is hardly their first argument) and have been trying to like. calm down and focus on normal and silly stuff. I was gonna have Connie call in sick from work on Monday but I forgot it was Labor Day and it would. be kind of silly to do that on Labor Day.

so the reason Anthea was surprised by that anon asking if she was okay was that from her perspective, Connie's been having PTSD flashbacks all weekend and then got yelled at by her sister, whereas she got mad about something and has since mostly calmed down and even kind of feels better for actually expressing her emotions instead of bottling them up, so why would she be the one who's not okay?

but like. very little of that actually got onto the page. so.

pro tip: don't pick a roleplay character who hates talking about their feelings.

[lains-reality]

hey lain! im so sorry if this post is long asf but i just spent like 25+ minutes reading your posts and replies to anons. i (well ego, actually) has spent every day since she learned about non-dualism seeking something that would "click." she was desperately trying to find what she needed to do to realize self, because as much as she told herself in her mind that she understands non-dualism, she really wasn't understanding. so anyway, she basically just had this feeling of "i'm done trying. this is exhausting and i'm so damn tired of this. there's nothing to try. the fact that i desire things and want to understand things etc., is all irrelevant." so with that, she started scrolling thru your posts, reading them fully rather than skimming them (she's lazy and doesn't like reading all the way, she always just skimmed long posts💀💀)

she just wanted the most simplest understanding on what to do and now she knows that it's literally just to stop identifying with ego. so i, my actual self, literally does not need to ask questions. i do not wonder what to do, all thoughts of "what do i have to fix" is ego. i do not have to convince ego that i am not her because... she isn't real and self doesn't think anyway, so anytime i have one of those exhausting mind battles where i think i'm telling ego that everything is fake and an illusion, i just need to remember that both of those thoughts are literally the ego. so feeling like i need to read more information, or i need to convince myself of something, will always be the ego, not ME. ALL THAT I NEED TO DO IS NOT IDENTIFY WITH EGO.

and let me tell you, i paused reading for a sec to "test it" (not necessarily testing anything but i was just getting into the feeling of not identifying) and i genuinely felt the difference. like i felt what i was supposed to, the freedom and desirelessness yk? every thought in my mind, every feeling i had, any desire i was thinking about "getting" i just said quietly said in my head, not me. that's all ego. and i didn't bother convincing or reassuring myself like "see its just ego so relax, okay i don't need to worry. i'm not ego! remember that!" because the only thing that ever needs reassurance is ego, and reassuring her is identifying with her. i didn't bother trying to "believe" anything because i knew anything further was ego. and if i am not ego, it is absolutely pointless to do anything more than just observe the thoughts and let it pass. i'd be holding my own self back from freedom by doing anything more than observing and letting it pass.

basically i just wanted to share that, because i got this giddy and relieving feeling because i know exactly what i need to do. it's not even something i "need to do", it's not a process, it's just a simple look at anything that makes me feel not free or like i'm desiring and thinking "not me, just ego." and moving on! i already feel less stressed because i'm not trying to achieve desires, i don't feel desire, ego does, but i'm not her so i don't have to fix it or remove the desire, i just let it pass on. i feel so relaxed now and just empty (in a good way. i'm emptied of hopelessness, desire, confusion) the "click" ego wanted so bad is basically this. and its so SIMPLE. i know that the habit of identifying is still kinda there for me though, but understanding the simplicity of this now and not feeling the need to search for "what to do" is gonna make it so easy to break the habit once and for all. thank you so much for your posts lain sincerely. i might delete tumblr to avoid the ego's habit of mindlessly opening the app and scrolling for hours cuz she thinks she needs to find the secret krabby patty formula to realizing self but at the same time your page brings such a comforting and safe feeling that i love 💙💙💙

i'm so glad you understand! it's good that you finally practised, you can read everything and get nowhere if you don't take the leap ♡

keep going!

[fanofthelamb]

So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

[wavebiders]

what do you think about campaign 2? is there anything it does better than campaign 3, and vice versa is there anything campaign 3 does better than it?

Interesting question! Gonna put the answer under a readmore since it'll probably get long and also bc my feelings on cr2 aren't all that positive so superfans of that campaign have a heads up to keep scrolling

So, I'm just gonna be completely honest up front and say I never finished cr2 so my judgement is gonna be very flawed. At the time I was younger and very caught up with the toxic positivity aspect of this fandom, so I stamped down basically every issue I had until it all spilled over and I was left feeling so negative about it I had to go complete cr cold turkey until tlovm aired.

I know that's oversharing, but I just don't feel right commenting on cr2 without being upfront about how my personal feelings on it come from a weird place. I try to be more objective about it these days, but I'm afraid I'm not entirely objective.

Anyway cr2 and cr3 are really two entirely different kinds of stories. The former I consider to be most like an open-world video game, while the latter is more like an ongoing comic book. It's hard to tell which one does things better because they're not really doing the same thing at all

In terms of pacing they both struggle in opposite directions. Cr3 has had too much going on for a long time with very little breathing room while cr2 was 90% filler. We haven't had balanced pacing since cr1 so for these two it's more about what you personally prefer. For me the difference would be determined by my connection to the characters.

Which brings me to the characters. This is of course the most subjective thing of them all. I'm not going to pretend I don't prefer the Bells Hells by a mile, but there is also a reason the Mighty Nein are so popular on social media. It's the party of NPC's vs the Be Gay Do Crimes party. The latter may has well have been built in a lab for tumblr queers. Hell it's what drew me to the show in the first place.

I think cr2 was more experimental for most cast members, with them really going outside their comfort zone(Travis playing a more serious character, Liam going more morally questionable, Travis and Ashley dipping into romance) and the results really resonated with a lot of people. Personally I struggled with most of the party for a few reasons. What they were trying didn't suit me, Ashley being gone for most of the early days, a party member dying before they could really get started, etc.

With cr3, I think it's clear they took the lessons they learned from the past 2 campaigns and really played into their strenghts while still exploring new ground. The fact that the players have lived in Exandria for so long now also allows them to craft backstories more tailored to the world around them which gives them a very unique feel. I also personally just find myself resonating more with the themes they chose to explore.

Honestly I could do a whole breakdown of each character and which ones I think work best for their campaigns but this is getting long enough so I won't.

Cr2 did spend more time digging into characters backstories but for me that had the massive downside of the gap between which characters got focus being incredibly blatant. I know people like to complain about main character Imogen, but that's nothing compared to how badly cr2 sucked at balancing narrative focus amongst the party.

That's not say I'm not bothered by cr3 not taking more time to explore things specific to the pc's backstories, but with the way most of them are tied to the main plot it still works. I do think it does a much better job at balancing focus, even if Imogen obviously has the strongest plot connection.

And finally, I think cr2 is best at being a more typical found family fantasy experience(cr1 is too but a very different flavor) in that you have a bunch of assholes slowly learning how to trust each other and help each other face their demons. The bond between the Hells is just as believable and more compelling to me personally, but it is not gonna scratch the itch a lot of people are looking to scratch with an actual play show.

What cr3 excells at is deconstructing tropes, posing ethical dillemas, really making you think about the world the story takes place in and considering different point of views. This is why so many long-term fans struggle with it so much. It's also why I think, especially if all 3 campaigns get adapted, cr3 will be the most memorable one with the biggest impact.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

gonna be vain on main for a sec HEY MAGGOTS

SO SO SO FOR WHATEVER UNKNOWN REASONS, I HAVE A FANDOM (AS I WAS COERCED INTO ADMITTING AFTER THE 10KHAOS).

AND SO MANY OF YOU HAVE MADE SUCH LOVELY MAGGOT ART AND ALSO LOVELY ART OF ME AND I LOVE THAT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME HAPPY. IF IT'S ALRIGHT WITH Y'ALL I'M TRYING TO PRINT IT SO I CAN KEEP IT IN A NOTEBOOK OR ON MY WALL COZ AGAIN, HAPPY VIBES.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS A BUNCH OF IT IS SOMEWHERE ON RANDOM REBLOGS AND IN DMS THAT TUMBLR WONT LET ME OPEN (IDK WHY BUT TUMBLR HAS GLITCHED SO I CAN'T SCROLL DOWN MY DM LIST) AND IN ASKS. I HAVE SOME DOWNLOADED, BUT SOME ISN'T.

SO IF IT'S NO TROUBLE COULD YOU PUT IT IN REBLOGS OF THIS POST SO I HAVE ALL OF IT SO FAR IN ONE PLACE? (IM GOING TO BECOME MORE ORGANISED I SWEAR)

IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO PRINT IT OUT OR ANYTHING, THAT'S TOTALLY FAIR! YOU CAN SAY THAT! OR IF YOU'D RATHER RESEND IT BY DM SO THAT IT GOES TO THE TOP OF MY DM LIST AND I CAN ACTUALLY VIEW IT THAT WOULD BE GREAT TOO IN CASE YOU DON'T WANT TO POST IT PUBLICLY. OR IF IT WAS ORIGINALLY ON A POST OR SOMETHING YOU COULD ALSO LINK IT HERE. OR NONE OF THESE AT ALL THAT'S OKAY TOO.

ANYWAY SO I'M SORRY I'M DISORGANISED BUT YES I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!

[marmottion]

Its nearing 1am and I'm considering putting my phone down and sleeping. But I don't really want to and oh. What is that ? The next episode of d20 fantasy high junior year comes out in 10 minutes? The thiccsode which is said to have the lore dump of all lore dumps ? Well I can't not watch it then !

...

It is now almost 3am and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. I'm just about to press pause when I hear 2 words : " Legend Lore". This is it, we're finally gonna learn so much about this whole conspiracy ! But I'm so sleepy.. and then.. out of nowhere... a Murphy nat20 investigation! My eyes open, my brain conjures all its remaining attention: I will not stop at this moment, I must continue!

...

It is 5am and I'm reading the discord channel, scrolling through Tumblr... 5 YEARS ! HE WAITED 5 YEARS FOR THIS REVEAL !!!

Anyway I have to sleep now more than ever but my mind is racing with all the informations this exceptional episode delivered..