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sunbeams-and-honey · 4 years ago

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what are your thoughts and words of advice on/for these placements?:

Virgo Sun and Mercury (7h), Pisces Moon and Ascendant (1h), Scorpio Venus (9h), Taurus Mars (3h), Libra Jupiter (8h), Pisces Uranus (1h), Aquarius Neptune (12h), Sagittarius Midheaven and Pluto (10h), Capricorn Chiron (11h), and Leo Lilith and Saturn (6h)

Hi darling! Thanks for the question and sorry about the wait. I don't mean to sound weird at all, but we have so many similar placements, it's insane. I'm wondering if you were born a few days after me...

Anyways, I've already gone over the following placements! Click on each one to find each respective post:

Virgo Mercury

Scorpio Venus

Leo Saturn

Pisces Uranus

Aquarius Neptune

Capricorn Chiron

Moving on, your Virgo Sun Pisces Moon combination makes you logical and idealistic, with a strong and vibrant imagination. You are very opportunistic, so you know how to make the best of whatever comes your way. You are definitely someone who can trust in both your intuition and your intellect. You provide very deep and important insight on a variety of matters, so people often turn to you for advice. You are quite logical as well as a person who can trust your hunches. You are quite a wise soul; you can be thrust into almost any situation and you already seem to know what to do. You can deal with concepts and meanings that are difficult for most people to understand.

Your Sun in the 7th means that being in a romantic relationships is very important to you. Being with someone in that sense brings out the best in you as you can mirror and compliment the other person(s). However, this can make you miserable and feel as though you are without purpose when single. You only know how to base your personality and behaviours off someone else rather than being your own person and finding out who you truly are. You would like a career where you work with the public, but this may prove a challenge as you are heavily influenced by what other people think of you.

Your Mercury is in the 7th too, which makes you someone who prefers to solve problems by communicating and talking through what went wrong. You want to get the point of view of whoever else is involved in the issue rather than solely focusing on yourself. You are quite sociable and much prefer to be out and about rather than being stuck at home (I dread to think how you're coping with the pandemic, good lord). You easily become bored when left to your own devices. Your relationships tend to be very healthy and successful because you know how to properly communicate with the other person. You quickly come to an understanding with the other and frequently share ideas with them.

You have your Moon in the 1st House, which means you are rather emotional and delicate, not that this is necessarily a bad thing, mind you. You are constantly thinking of others and of how you can help them, regardless of how well you're doing in your own life. You are ready to jump up and lend a helping hand at a moment's notice. You aren't too worried about always having a plan to follow; simply going with the flow doesn't tend to stress you out much. You are honest about your feelings, not really one to hide them or be ashamed of them. Your heightened sensitivity can cause relationships issues as you have the tendency to overreact to certain situations and people.

Your Pisces Rising makes you a very optimistic person who also wants to share that positive attitude with the world. You may view things with rose-tinted glasses which can lead to you having expectations which are way too high. Just remember to stay realistic while keeping your optimism. You feel things very strongly but are rarely aggressive. You get along with pretty much anyone due to your friendly and relaxed manner. You assume that others always have good intentions, which may be a nice outlook to have on people, but can put you at risk of being manipulated or exploited by others.

Your Venus in the 9th means that you might be one to fall in love too easily, especially if its with someone who brings something new to your life. You are very appreciative and interested in others' cultures and want the people around you to be the same. You are very warm and adaptable, and love having freedom and independence in your relationships. You are definitely not clingy or needy. You will not hesitate to end a relationship if the other person is restricting you in some way. Your ideal partner needs to be open to adventure and new experiences. You don't tend to appreciate what you have now, always looking to the future and what it might hold for you. This can mean that precious moments slip right past you and you don't even realise it. Learn to love the present for what it is every now and then.

Your Mars is in Taurus, which makes you quite comfortable with who you are as a person. You prioritise the things in your life that make you happy, not too worried or focused on the things you do just because you have to. You're definitely here for a good time. Though that's not to say that you're reckless or anything like that. You also want a future that is stable and secure as well as fun and exciting. You're very driven to achieve this for yourself and are willing to work hard for it. You are a bit materialistic and can depend on your possessions too much at times. Comfort of the utmost importance for you.

You have your Mars in the 3rd House, which means you a pretty straightforward with your communication. There's no beating around the bush with you, that's for sure. You're not in the least bit afraid to talk about sensible and serious matters, and are also unafraid of expressing yourself how you see fit. You are always ready and willing to open other people's minds. You're very energetic, almost to the point where you have this kind of nervous energy about you. You find it very difficult to just slow down and rest. You have a strong faith in your own ideas and have enough ambition to want to pursue them. You always want to experience new things.

Your Libra Jupiter makes you have a deep desire to have everyone just get along. You're not really a huge fan of conflict. However, this desire can make you miserable as you feel guilty if you don't get along with someone. It's important that you understand that it's completely normal to not get along with some people and it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong or that you just need to try harder. This placement can make you somewhat of a wandering spirit. You love to meet new and interesting people, partly just for the joy of it, partly because you're desperate to meet your soulmate.

Your Jupiter in the 8th means you are quite spiritual and sociable, and definitely someone who seeks pleasure from all areas of your life. Your intuition is on point and highly accurate, which makes you very good at determining the root of a problem. It's because of this that you may find that people often turn to you to help them deal with issues. You absolutely love solving complex mysteries, always happy to test your mind. You really do mean well but you can be overly emotional at times. You're also prone to manipulating others, whether you realise you're doing it or not.

Your Uranus is in the 1st, which makes you an eccentric at heart. You are someone who wants to support the people around you in becoming more confident in their identity and originality. People may consider you to be ahead of your time. You might find that a lot of unexpected things happen to you in your life; you'll definitely have a lot of stories to tell when you're older! You don't care much for rules, especially when they start to restrict who you are as a person and how you express that. That doesn't mean, however, that you don't want to help and care for the people around you.

You have your Neptune in the 12th House, which means that you're easily misunderstood by others. This is because while you do mean well, you don't tend to express your true nature. In reality, you are extremely kind and compassionate, you just struggle with putting this out there. You can be quite pessimistic, always focusing on what's wrong in your life and stressing over everyday issues. You should try to look after your own happiness and wellbeing more. You're very empathetic, but this can mean that others' negativity affects you deeply. Remember to put up boundaries if and when you need them; your true friends will understand.

Your Sagittarius Midheaven makes you someone who has a great love for life and everything it has to offer. You constantly want to learn more about anything and everything and then share that knowledge with others. People are attracted to you thanks to your friendly, sincere and energetic persona. You love chatting to people who are very different to you as you love learning about others' life experiences. You like to look at theories and then try to make sense of them, or to simply make up your own. You may often ponder the big questions of the universe and try to decide your point of view on it all. Despite this, your mind is always open to new ideas and you love to hear what other people think.

Your Pluto in Sagittarius means you are very spiritually attuned to the world; spirituality is just something that comes to you naturally. You can tap into your innate power with ease. You absolutely have the ability to help change the world for the better. You are constantly on the lookout for new experiences, always wanting to do things you can look back on and smile about. You are very free-spirited, not really one to be happy to just follow the rules as they are without good reason. You dream of a bright and happy future and you have to realise that you can absolutely make this happen.

Your Pluto is in the 10th, which makes you extremely focused and driven to achieve your goals. You are determined to overcome the close-minded views of the people around you. Your career is extremely important to you, always wanting to improve and advance within that area of your life. You are very good at devising goals and at planning your course of action. You assess and manage risks incredibly well and are confident in everything that you do. You research and search for knowledge that can improve your life in any way possible. You are quite the perfectionist, which is good because it pushes you to achieve your full potential, but can mean that you overwork yourself too often.

You have your Chiron in the 11th House, which means that the friends you normally attract want to help build you up as a person and want to see you do well in life. This means that you can absolutely rely on your friends to support you no matter what. They also provide you with close friendships that can run very deep. They may be a little insecure so make sure that you hype them up just like they would with you. Your friendships are mutually beneficial in that you help each other to become the best versions of yourselves that you can be.

Your Leo Lilith makes you extremely confident in yourself, almost to the point where you become self-centred and egotistical. It's important that you learn to dial this down without diminishing your self-worth. You might view yourself as someone who is generally better than most people, and regardless of whether or not this is true, you shouldn't let it influence your behaviour. Everyone deserves the same respect as you. It can be hard to talk sense into you sometimes as you tend to become very disillusioned at times. You constantly seek attention from others which can lead you to do some rather stupid things in order to be seen.

Your Lilith in the 6th means that you are somewhat of a workaholic, never knowing when to stop and just take a break. You are very composed so you're good at censoring yourself and stopping yourself from saying or doing something you know you'll regret. However this skill can also manifest as preventing yourself from expressing your true self, which can become very problematic. You love to record things that you've done, whether that's by keeping a diary or by filming everything at any opportunity. You may have the tendency to change your job the second you become bored, which can be good as it keeps you stimulated, but can be an issue as the boredom you experience might just be momentary.

Your Saturn is in the 6th, which makes you hardworking, disciplined, and mature enough to want to grow from your past mistakes. You're not someone to cover up or ignore your past failures as you recognise that they are always a good learning opportunity for you to improve yourself. You may tend to have issues related to your health, but of course I don't want to scare you or anything. Just remember to try and lead a healthy lifestyle where you can and you should be okay. You might face a few issues at work, whether that's something to do with your colleagues, environment or something else entirely. You do tend to have a bit of an attitude so just watch that and know when to dial it down.

Words Of Advice:

Don’t take everything for granted.

You need to learn how to put yourself in other people’s shoes every now and then.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Life is there to be enjoyed, so enjoy it!

Sometimes showing your emotions proves to others how genuine you are.

Identify where you need to change as a person in order to succeed.

Be more responsible when making promises.

Your value is not solely based on what others think of you.

Don't be afraid to try new things.

Do things that bring you satisfaction in a spiritual sense.

Learn to take more risks in order to creative more positive changes.

Make loving yourself a higher priority in your life.

Be careful when making financial investments and decisions.

You can express your opinions without offending people.

Don't force yourself to get on with every single person you meet.

Stick with your commitments.

Use your great taste to help others more often.

Prove to others that they can depend on you.

Try to differentiate your internal criticism from what other people actually think about you.

You can express your opinions without hurting others' feelings.

Keep close to those who you consider to be your family.

Learn how to communicate effectively with people who are different to you.

You can be self-confident without having a massive ego.

Think through why you're bored of something before doing something about it.

Remember to take breaks more often.

Thanks for the question darling and I hope this helped! Sending good vibes your way and have a wonderful rest of your day!

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ibijau · 3 years ago

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Futures past pt19 / on AO3

As music lessons resume, Lan Xichen has a suggestion for Nie Huaisang

Nie Huaisang cheerfully knocked on the door, ready for his first music lesson of the year, only to be met by a decidedly grumpy Lan Xichen. The other boy tried to smile at him, tried to make conversation as usual and to ask how much he’d practiced that week, but Nie Huaisang wasn’t fooled.

“So, what’s wrong?” he asked as he set up his guqin, a little proud to show off again that he had his own instrument now. “You look so dejected that I could mistake you for your brother.”

“Let’s not talk about Wangji right now,” Lan Xichen replied, his expression turning sour.

Now he looked like his uncle, though Nie Huaisang was too polite to say as much. It was really strange to see him so upset, and a little worrying as well, but Lan Xichen did not give him the chance to ask any questions.

“I’ve been thinking a lot while you were gone,” Lan Xichen announced with a fake smile that wasn’t fooling anyone, “and I think your level is good enough to start teaching you something a little more advanced. Shufu has given me permission to give you an introduction to some techniques we use for musical cultivation, if that interests you.”

Nie Huaisang gasped at the news.

“Really? You mean, real musical cultivation?” he asked excitedly. “The real deal? Like… like battle songs? Healing songs? You think I’m good enough?”

His earlier bad mood quickly melting away, Lan Xichen smiled warmly and came to sit next to Nie Huaisang.

“I think you’re very skilled, yes,” he said, making Nie Huaisang flush at the praise, “though it’ll be a while until you can use musical techniques in a Night Hunt. But since we have this entire year before us, I thought you could try to learn Inquiry.”

“Really?”

To confirm it, Lan Xichen merely handed Nie Huaisang a musical score, one he appeared to have copied himself. Nie Huaisang took it with trembling hands, awed to be trusted in that manner.

“The song itself is not particularly complex,” Lan Xichen explained as Nie Huaisang looked over the score, “and it can be learned and used even by someone of ordinary cultivation level. The real difficulty, and what is going to take us a while, is the Qin language needed to understand the answers given by spirits.”

His eyes still on the sheet of music, Nie Huaisang just nodded. Then, realising what he’d just heard, he looked up and stared at Lan Xichen with wide, shocked eyes.

“Isn’t that a secret Lan technique?”

“I'm not sure about 'secret' but it is an exclusive technique,” Lan Xichen confirmed, his expression turning more serious. “That’s why I had to ask for shufu’s permission before I could offer to teach you. I won’t hide that he was reluctant,” he added with a strained smile. “But I told him that I fully trust you to respect our secrets.”

Hands clenched on the music sheet, Nie Huaisang hurriedly nodded again. He couldn’t think of a bigger honour done to him. He’d never have dared to ask to be taught any Lan secret techniques, but since it was offered he would do his best to be worthy of it, and to show proper respect and gratitude.

“I also told him that having a goal of your own seemed to help you in your studies last year,” Lan Xichen added, “and that this might help you do better in your exams by giving you better motivation.”

However pleased he was that Lan Xichen would trust him, and with something that important, the reminder of his failure to do well in class made Nie Huaisang grimace, and instantly reduced his enthusiasm. “Does it mean the music lessons will be dependent on the grades I get in regular classes?”

“It’s possible that shufu came to that conclusion,” Lan Xichen replied with a mischievous smile. “But I never actually said that, and your grades are of no concern to me. I just like teaching you”

“Xichen-gege, you’re so crafty!” Nie Huaisang laughed. “Who knew you were capable of that! You’re the best, you know? I like when you teach me, too. I’ll try to be as good a student as you are a teacher!”

“I’m pleased you’d think so well of me,” Lan Xichen said, his cheeks turning a little pink. “Now, let’s get to work. I think for today, we’re just going to focus on the song itself. Then next week, if you are comfortable enough playing it, I can show you how to infuse it with your spiritual energy to have the right effect, and we can start learning Qin language.”

It sounded like a great plan, and one Nie Huaisang wholeheartedly agreed to.

Just as Lan Xichen promised, the song itself was not particularly challenging, and short enough that Nie Huaisang had good hopes of quickly learning it by heart if he just put his mind to it. He’d try to be careful not to practice it around the other Nie disciples, since it was a Lan technique, but he’d still work hard on it, and… maybe that might turn Night Hunts into something interesting at last. It should certainly make Nie Mingjue happy if his brother finally became interested in those, even if he had to use another sect’s method for it.

It opened a world of possibilities, and Nie Huaisang promised himself to practice hard to make this happen, so both his brother and Lan Xichen would be proud of him. Or at least, as hard as he was capable, especially with all that he had to do that year.

That would come later. The lesson having reached its conclusion for the day, Lan Xichen served tea for both of them, and offered some candies to celebrate the start of a new year of learning. By then, Lan Xichen’s mood appeared to have improved a great deal, and Nie Huaisang decided it would be fine to start the first phase of his great plan.

"So, Xichen-gege, what do you think of this year's students?" Nie Huaisang asked innocently while grabbing some candies.

Lan Xichen's expression turned sour for a brief moment, before he got himself back under control and smiled again.

"They are an interesting lot, certainly," he said without enthusiasm. "Are you making friends this time?"

After taking a quick sip of tea, Nie Huaisang nodded, grinning.

"Gege, you won't believe it, but even last year I made a friend!” he announced. “Apparently, Zixun thinks I'm really cool and told his cousin about me!"

It was still really funny to him, and judging by his surprised expression, Lan Xichen hadn’t expected that either.

"Then Jin Zixun has better tastes than I expected,” Lan Xichen said with some hesitation, “and I must reconsider my opinion of him."

"Well, me too! But I am making friends this year too, and they're nicer about it than Zixun was. Have you met Wei Wuxian yet?"

Stopping short of drinking some tea, Lan Xichen's smile wavered. He froze for a second, and put down his glass again.

"I have,” Lan Xichen said in a tone of voice that made it plain the encounter had brought him little joy. “Jiang Cheng… I mean, Jiang gongzi came to greet me on his second day here, and Wei gongzi was with him. I suppose he was polite enough with me."

Nie Huaisang laughed at seeing him struggle to find something nice to say.

"But he upset your uncle and you don't like that."

That was all the encouragement Lan Xichen needed to allow his expression to turn into anger, which Nie Huaisang found very funny.

"He was extremely rude to shufu,” Lan Xichen complained. “It’s very unfortunate that he should show so little respect to a teacher. He's also determined to pester poor Wangji, who isn't used to being treated like that!” He paused, taking a deep breath to compose himself, but didn’t manage to put on a smile again. “Huaisang, since you're his friend, do you think you might tell him to leave Wangji alone?"

All of Nie Huaisang’s amusement quickly dissipated at that demand and he frowned.

"Well that's a problem! You really dislike him that much?"

Lan Xichen fell silent for a moment. Nie Huaisang found it more worrying than if he’d answered right away. A little anger at a misbehaving student was one thing, but he’d talked enough with Lan Xichen to recognise those moments when he was trying hard to be fair to someone he didn’t particularly like. He used to make the same face when talking about Su She, back before he started warming up to him.

"He doesn't seem like a bad person,” Lan Xichen said at last, “and he hasn't done anything to me, so I cannot dislike him. I am just worried for Wangji, who isn’t very good at dealing with people."

"That's really inconvenient,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “Xichen-gege, I was really hoping you'd help me help them to become friends! It would have been a lot of fun, the two of us scheming together…” he sighed again. “Oh, well. I'll see if I can get Jiang-xiong or Su-xiong instead. I don’t want to involve you in something you’d find upsetting."

"I think the fact you’d want such a thing is already upsetting me a little,” Lan Xichen replied. “Is it even possible for them to be friends? They are… very different."

Nie Huaisang gave that a moment of consideration before shrugging.

"I guess. But we're pretty different too, and we didn't start off so well either, and look at us now! If it worked for us, it can work for them! I’m sure they can become good friends like us!"

A spot or pink appeared on Lan Xichen's cheeks, but his expression remained conflicted.

"I think it's different. Their first meeting was a fight."

Nie Huaisang could only laugh.

"And I ran away from you when you tried to chat!” he pointed out, grabbing another candy which he pushed toward Lan Xichen. “Anyway, wouldn't it be good for Wangji to have friends? He's too serious. It's not healthy for a boy his age to be so serious. As his elders, we need to make sure he doesn't get lonely."

"you're barely a year older than him," Lan Xichen remarked, fighting a smile as he took the candy. "I'm not sure you have much claim as an elder."

One hand on his heart, Nie Huaisang faked an offended expression which made Lan Xichen chuckle.

"I am an elder!” he protested theatrically. “I am wiser in the way of the world, so it is my duty to guide these children. Wei Wuxian too!” he added, a touch more seriously. “I think he was impressed by Wangji, you know. Jiang-xiong says that it's unheard of for him to find someone he can't beat.” He paused, and considered that. “Jiang-xiong also says he kind of hopes that Wei-xiong gets his ass kicked very hard, so it teaches him humility. And Meng-xiong didn't say anything, but he did nod."

Lan Xichen grinned.

"I do get the sensation that people tend to be as irritated by him as they are endeared. And I suppose… Wangji too was impressed by Wei gongzi's skill. Mostly he said it was quite upsetting that such talent should belong to a person with such poor manners."

Nie Huaisang smiled at that most encouraging news.

"There! If Wangji is complimenting him, then they need to be friends!" he exclaimed, making Lan Xichen laugh hard enough that he felt the need to hide it behind his sleeve.

"That's hardly a compliment."

"Coming from Wangji, it is."

That got another laugh out of Lan Xichen, which he quickly got under control and attempted to replace by a more severe expression. It might have worked, if his eyes had not been shining with barely repressed mirth.

"Wangji is not nearly as bad as you seem to think,” Lan Xichen said. “He's just very shy, and being distant is the way he deals with it. Not everyone can be as bold and determined to collect friends as you are, Huaisang."

"I'm not sure how to take that."

"Coming from any other Lan, it might be an insult,” Lan Xichen admitted. “Coming from me, and to you, it's probably a compliment."

Nie Huaisang grinned, delighted to be teased like that. How had he ever thought that Lan Xichen was boring? Maybe his future self was right about him not being too bright. But then again, wasn't it easy to make that sort of judgement in hindsight? Lan Xichen was fun now, but it had taken time for his smiles to gain real warmth when they were together. It had been time well invested though, and realising that made him hopeful that this business between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian might turn out fine. Maybe they too would get to have that sort of comfortable relationship someday.

More comfortable, even, since they were to fall in love someday. It was going to be so funny to see how Lan Wangji acted when he was in love.

After this, the two boys fell silent for a moment as they finished their tea. It was getting a little late, and Nie Huaisang knew that he would soon have to leave. It made him almost wish that Lan Qiren had already given them homework, so he’d have an excuse to stay a little longer by whining that he always worked better when he was with Lan Xichen. Or else, he might have offered to help copy some scroll or other for Lan Xichen’s great secret project. Anything at all so he wouldn’t have to go. After almost a whole winter apart, he just wanted to be in his friend’s company a little more, just a tiny bit more, even if he knew they were sure to have time together again the week after.

Then, just as Nie Huaisang was trying to accept that he couldn’t find a good excuse to stay, Lan Xichen spoke again.

"If we do help Wangji and Wei-gongzi become friends,” he said, “and that's still an 'if' on my part, the main issue will be to make them understand they both want to be friends. Wangji seems to think Wei-gongzi only exists to torment him, and despairs to see again his more positive qualities."

Excited both for the excuse to chat a little more and by the fact that Lan Xichen was falling to his side, Nie Huaisang nodded.

"Wei-xiong is convinced Wangji is giving him the cold shoulder in spite of his efforts to become friends,” he replied. “He’s not used to people not fawning over him, I fear. Xichen-gege, we're gonna have to work hard!"

"It would take effort,” Lan Xichen agreed. “I can see you're very excited about this little project, but don't let it get in the way of your studies."

Nie Huaisang dismissed that worry with a hand gesture.

"Don't worry! I'll practice the guqin every day no matter what!"

That answer made Lan Xichen laugh.

"I meant your actual studies, Huaisang,” he corrected, trying to sound scolding but too obviously amused to be scary at all. “The lectures? With my uncle? You do remember that's why you're here in the first place?"

Blushing a little at his blunder, Nie Huaisang shrugged.

"Oh, that. I'll deal with that,” he said with more confidence than he felt. “At worst, I'll just come again a third year. Wouldn't that be fun? We'd get even more time together!"

"I'm not sure shufu would be thrilled,” Lan Xichen pointed out. “But I would certainly be happy to have you around as long as you want. And… of course, you'd get more time with Su She as well. Apparently you've even told your brother about him?"

If he hadn’t been in such good humour upon hearing that Lan Xichen enjoyed his company that much, Nie Huaisang might have noticed that the other boy’s expression became a little more pained when he mentioned Su She. But he was in too good a mood to be observant.

"Of course. It fell through last year because I didn't plan it enough in advance and my grades were bad,” he explained, “but this year, I absolutely want to invite Su-xiong home with me when I go back, even if I don't pass! I think we'll have a lot of fun, and da-ge can't ground me if I have a guest to entertain!"

Lan Xichen's smile turned strained again, nearly as much as when Nie Huaisang first arrived to see him.

"How cunning of you. I'm sure you'll have great fun. I could try to steal your brother for a Night Hunt, so you and Su She can have some peace."

It was a very generous offer, and Nie Huaisang gave it all the consideration it deserved.

"No, I think if you make it all the way to Qinghe, I'll want to keep you around too,” he announced. “Xichen-gege, even though you've come a few times, we weren’t friends back then so I've never really shown you my birds, right? And we could go painting all three of us… wait, Su-xiong isn't that fond of painting!” he remembered, hitting his forehead. “So it won’t do. Then… let's dump him with da-ge for a bit, so they can get all excited together about fighting and cultivation, and I'll steal you away! Oh there's this gorgeous little spot from where you can see the mountains at a wonderful angle… I've always wanted to show it to someone, and I think you're really someone who would know how to appreciate it. Will you go there with me next time you visit us, Xichen-gege?"

Lan Xichen tried to smile, his face a little pinker than usual.

"Wouldn't you rather take Su She, if you like it so much?"

Nie Huaisang considered that, too, before shaking his head.

"There are other places I can show him. That one, I really want to show you."

Looking definitely quite pink now, Lan Xichen smiled.

"Then I will gladly accompany you. If you like it so much, it must be very beautiful indeed, and I can’t wait to see it."

"Xichen-gege is too kind,” Nie Huaisang replied, delighted by that new plan. “Really too kind. And in his great kindness, will he help me give Wangji a friend?"

"You’re just as stubborn as your brother,” Lan Xichen accused, his good mood fully returned. “We'll see. I need to see a little more of this Wei Wuxian before I decide. But if I find him to be a good person, and if I am given reasons to think he’ll be good for Wangji, then yes, I will help."

It wasn't unfair to worry about that, especially when Lan Xichen didn't have a messenger from the future to tell him that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were pretty much soulmates. Indeed, without that information, Nie Huaisang would never have guessed that Lan Wangji's cold anger might have hidden any other sort of tender feelings. That was why Nie Huaisang really needed Lan Xichen's help, he was the only person in the world who could understand his brother.

Since he needed Lan Xichen's assistance so badly, Nie Huaisang wondered if he should maybe not ask Wei Wuxian to help him cheat in the next test. But he had already done his part of the deal in that regards, so it would be very upsetting to have copied all those boring texts for nothing. Besides, it would probably be fine.

There was no way they'd be caught, right?

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #double time travel

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hongism · 5 years ago

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finding beauty in your darkest places - chapter 4

Pairing: TBA (i have no clue at the moment, ot7 for now)

Genre: Psychiatric Clinic!au, Heavy Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 6898

Warnings: strong language; deals with mental and emotional illnesses and disorders as a heavy theme of the story, future graphic depictions of disorders - please do not read if this makes you uncomfortable

Rating: PG-13/Mature

Summary: Everyone has their issues, and everyone deals with them differently. Jungkook thinks that avoiding his problems is the best option out there.

aka

Jeon Jungkook is the newest patient at the Omelas Specialized Psychiatric Clinic, and he just wants to get in and out as quickly as possible so that he can go back to university and be with his friends again. Of course, that doesn't work out according to his plan.

a/n: you guys, huge shoutout to Mari, Em, and Ivory my lovely wordsprint buddies who were a huge support and inspiration to work alongside ;-; im honestly thrilled that i felt inspired to write this so soon and im even more excited to share it with you guys because i honestly love this chapter. i really hope you guys like it as much as i do! Also thank you so so much for such wonderful feedback on my survey, seeing your responses and reading through them makes my day! Feel free to go back and redo the survey whenever you want as the story progresses and things change~

ALSO

This bit is important too, because i want to make sure that it is clear and understandable.

The content of this story is heavy and difficult stuff. I am not writing it in a way that holds back from the ugly parts that are real life in these kinds of situations. It is dramatic because that is part of my vision with the story. I say that the genre is heavy angst because it is. It is heavy and dramatic and overwhelming at times because that’s the way life is. I completely understand if this isn’t your cup of tea, but please please do not complain about the heavy and dramatic nature of the story. I love you guys and i want you to love the story, but i also want to convey a message with this story and am taking the steps i believe are necessary to reach that goal. Please understand that before reading.

Chapter:

3 | 4 | 5

Finding Beauty in Your Darkest Places

Chapter 4: A Slip into the Darkness

...

“Rock, paper, scissors — ha, yes! Paper beats rock, I win.” Taehyung leans back, nearly falling off the stool he’s precariously perched on, and claps for his win over Jimin’s presented rock. Jungkook slouches on his own stool, arms folded under his head on the granite counter. He watches the exchange between Taehyung and Jimin with amusement. Jimin protests Taehyung’s win, saying something about how Taehyung didn’t play fair and they should play two out of three instead.

“What are you guys even playing for?” You ask as you place the butter knife in your hand down. Jungkook glances in your direction, noticing that you have six crackers already covered in peanut butter on your plate, but six more naked crackers still sit on the other half of the plate.

“Who gets to name the gang,” Taehyung explains. He leans over the counter and snatches one of the crackers off your plate, popping it into his mouth and smiling through the food. You don’t protest the action. Instead you blink at the spot on your plate where the cracker just was and shake your head. “And since I won, I get to name it!”

“What gang are you talking about? I didn’t even realize there was a gang in the first place.” You return to spreading peanut butter across your crackers while Taehyung sighs as though disappointed in your question.

“Us. We’re a gang now, right? Since we’ve been planning and doing all this covert stuff that no one else knows about?”

“Sure, we can be a gang if you want us to be.”

“Yay! Oh, now I need to think of a name for us. Our operation is ‘Find the Teddy Bear’, so we can be the Teddy Bear Gang.” Jimin stifles a laugh, pressing his lips together to hide the smile, and Jungkook just buries his face in the crook of his arm to hide the amusement spreading across his features. “Hey, don’t laugh at our gang name! This is important business. We have to be serious about it. Y/N, you don’t think it’s funny, right?”

“Hm? Oh, of course not.” Jungkook peeks over his arm to catch a glimpse of your face, and despite your claims, he finds a grin on your lips.

“You guys are mean. Flat out mean. I don’t appreciate this.” Taehyung huffs and sits back, crossing his arms over his chest as he does. “But I do appreciate all the stuff you guys are doing to help me. Have you learned anything new recently?”

“I’ve been asking around,” Jimin responds once he buries his laughter. “I talked with Eunbi, Hanuel, Miyeon, and Hyewon but none of them know anything.” Jungkook sits up at the mention of Hyewon, peering at the back of Jimin’s head. Did she mention anything about me? Anything about what happened a few days ago? No, Y/N promised that she would make sure no one found out. Did she stop Hyewon from saying anything before Jimin talked to her though? Is she even going to keep her word?

“I have enlisted the help of Seokjin.” You cut into the conversation, slicing through Jungkook’s thoughts at the same time. “He is going to talk with the nurses and see if any of them know anything. He said he would help Tuesday and today because he is on duty to help them sort through medications. Perfect time to ask questions.”

“Why couldn’t one of us do that though?” Jimin asks. He props an elbow up on the counter and rests his chin on a clenched fist. You pay no attention to Jimin or his question. Instead, you continue with your train of thought as though Jimin didn’t even open his mouth.

“He didn’t get much from Tuesday’s chat, but he confirmed that the nurses who were in Taehyung’s room at the time of the bear’s disappearance didn’t take the bear out. They changed the beds and that was it; the bear was already gone at that point.” A flash of silver crosses Jungkook’s vision, then a clatter resounds. You blink at the counter in a similar manner to the people across from you, staring at the knife that suddenly left your hand. “Anyways, another important thing to note is that today is laundry day.”

“Why is that important?” Jungkook inquires when no one else does.

“I have a plan to sneak into the laundry room. Any volunteers to help me?”

“Oh, me! I wanna go!” Taehyung’s hand shoots up, wiggling in the air above his head, and he grins at you. Eyes wide, you drag your gaze over him before shifting them over to someone else.

“Jungkook. Thanks for offering.”

“What?” It’s a chorus who echoes the simple word, Taehyung and Jimin speaking in unison while Jungkook falls a bit short and repeats after them.

“I’m sorry, Tae, but I really need you to be in the safest possible position. I can’t let you get in trouble because of me. It’s why we don’t eat together, and this is ten times worse than meal times.”

“Why would you rather throw Jungkook to the wolves then?” Jimin motions towards him, his hand hovering near Jungkook’s chest, and Jungkook shakes his head a few times. “Why don’t you just pick someone you don’t care about like me instead?” Eyes waver, your gaze flickers over Jimin, and Jungkook can’t catch the emotion that lingers there because it’s gone too quickly. Jimin’s lips fall into a frown, brows knitted together.

“It’s my plan, so I get to pick who goes with me. I pick Jungkook, and that’s that.”

A huff of air leaves Jimin’s lips before you finish speaking. He redirects his gaze to the counter under his hands.

“Okay, Jungkook, do you have some time? Let’s go discuss the plan.”

“Why can’t Jimin and I be in on the plan as well? That’s not fair.”

“Tae, I’m sorry. The less you know the better. If I get in trouble or caught for this, then they won’t be able to tie anything back to you if you don’t know anything. Even if they find some way to drag you into it, they won’t be able to get any information from you. Please trust me on this one, okay? I’ll make sure it won’t be a repeat of the fight.”

“I trust you,” Taehyung says. He drops his volume as he looks at you. “I do. I just want to make sure you’ll be safe too.”

“That’s why I’m bringing someone with me, and I’m sorry it can’t be you. I will be fine.” Taehyung doesn’t say anything in response and lets you walk away from the counter. You grab hold of Jungkook’s sleeve as you round the corner. “Come on. The sooner we get this sorted out, the better.” Jungkook hops out the stool and follows your lead back in the direction of the rooms. “Wait out here for a few minutes, Jungkookie. I need to have a quick chat with someone.” Turning on your heel at the mouth of the hallway, you motion for Jungkook to take a few steps back. He tilts his head to the side at your demand, confusion taking over, and it continues to seep through his body as you walk up to Hoseok’s door and knock a few times. “Try not to have another panic attack and puke on the floor.” You disappear into the room a moment later. Jungkook is left standing in the hallway wishing he was anywhere else because all he sees when he looks around are memories of the panic attack that struck a few days ago. The choking sensation.

Queasiness.

Drowning, drowning in a sea of darkness without end.

He shakes his head to clear the thoughts out, refocusing his eyes on the hallway. Fourteen tiles across, fourteen tiles from door to door, fourteen tiles from wall to wall. Half tiles in the doorways. Four of them. The menial task of counting grounds him, reminds him of the reality that surrounds him, and separates the darkness creeping in from the light ahead of him. Jungkook takes a deep breath as he stares forward, blinking into the brightness seeping in through the window at the end of the hallway. A door slides open, and it’s not Hoseok’s; rather it’s the room beside his. Jungkook realizes that he’s just standing in the middle of the hall and staring forward, which is probably a strange sight.

Platinum blonde hair bleeds together with the white on the walls. Hyewon steps out of the room, eyes on the floor as she slides the door shut again and starts walking in Jungkook’s direction. She maintains her pace as she passes him. If he’d never spoken to her before, he would let her keep walking, but now his hand reaches out and grabs hold of her wrist. What follows next happens in an instant; however, in Jungkook’s mind, it seems to occur in slow-motion, Hyewon’s blonde hair whipping through the air while she turns to face him.

“What the hell are you doing?” She yells as soon as his fingers touch her skin. Jungkook retracts his arm as though burned and blinks at her with wide eyes. Silence hangs between them for a few moments before Hyewon’s features relax, the anger ebbing away as her brows return to a normal position. “I—uh, sorry about that. You caught me off guard, and I wasn’t expecting that.”

“No, no, it’s my fault,” Jungkook insists, bringing his hands up. “I should’ve said something or…not grabbed you like that? Um, I just want to apologize for the other day and behaving the way I did when you tried to help me. It was — I was rude and insensitive. I should’ve been nicer? Yea. I was going through a tough time right then, you caught me at the wrong moment, but that shouldn’t be an excuse for my attitude or the way I treated you.” Jungkook doesn’t know what he is expecting from Hyewon in terms of her reaction; a smile and cheerful laugh is not on his mind at all though. She grins, eyes finding his, and lets a bright laugh fall from her lips.

“I didn’t hold it against you, you know. In my mind, your reaction made sense and was justified in the moment. I was the one pushing a bit hard for answers. To reassure you though, I’ve done the same thing, so it doesn’t make you a bad person or anything like that. I mean, look at how I reacted when you touched my arm. If you ever do want to talk, my offer still stands and I’d always be willing to listen.”

“Why though?” Jungkook can’t help but to ask the question, because her insistence to help him is something foreign to him.

"Well," she starts, gaze finding the ceiling as she speaks, "when I came in, I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to, and there are times when I still feel that way, but I believe that it's important to open up rather than bottle everything inside. If you keep it locked up all the time then nothing good will come from that, right?" Jungkook glances over her soft features, the gleam in her eyes bright. "Ah, sorry for rambling a bit and making a hasty exit, but I have an appointment to go to actually. I'll catch you around though! If you need me, you can probably find me in my room or somewhere nearby." Hyewon turns to leave, but Jungkook doesn't let her go without saying something in response first.

"You're really nice and kind-hearted, Hyewon!" He calls out to her back. She grins at him over her shoulder. "I'm surprised to find a person like that here." Hyewon only laughs, eyes disappearing behind crescent shaped eyelids. She waves at him before returning to walking away, and Jungkook stares at the back of her head. How can a person like that be friends with people like Mingyu and Yesung? Is it a facade?

"You done hitting on other patients?"

"Shit!" Jungkook flinches as you speak, unaware that you opened the door and stepped out. You snort at his reaction and cover your mouth when the unprecedented noise leaves your mouth. "I wasn't hitting on her; it's called being nice."

"Being nice? What's that?" You poke your tongue out, toying with the corner of your lips while you grin at Jungkook. "It's all a joke, Jungkookie. Learn how to take one." You pull your tongue back between your lips, click it against the roof of your mouth, then start walking down the hallway. Jungkook jogs to catch up with her.

"Di-Did your talk go well?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The—I mean your talk with Hoseok," Jungkook clarifies. His throat constricts a bit after he speaks, suddenly aware of how this might come across to you. You stop walking to face him, one brow raised.

"You have zero concept of privacy."

"And you were just eavesdropping on my conversation with Hyewon."

"Cute, Jungkookie, but you were having said conversation in a public and open hallway. It didn't seem like you were trying to hide the conversation in any way." With your retort, Jungkook realizes that he's losing the fight.

"Sorry, I won't ask about your personal life again."

"I highly doubt that, but okay."

"Can I ask you a question about Hoseok though?" You roll your eyes, visibly debating the question, but Jungkook doesn't wait for your permission. "Namjoon told me a bit about him a few days ago, but I've been wondering…why does he never talk to other patients? And stay in his room all the time?"

"What demon has possessed you?" You ask. "Why do you want to know so badly? Do you not have the ability to drop the subject and mind your own business?"

"I feel like I need to know because I need to know when I'm overstepping my bounds with other patients." Your gaze turns into a glare as you squint at him. Jungkook racks his brain for the right words to say that might convince to talk about it. "Uh, on the—on the first day I was here, you said…you said something about sticking to the truth. Honesty is the best policy." A laugh tears through your chest.

"You are nothing but trouble, Jeon Jungkook." You point to the door to your left then grab hold of the handle and slide it open. "Go on in." He does as asked, unsure of what to expect inside her room. Even though it's the same basic structure and layout as Jungkook's room, yours contains more decorations, including dark curtains over the windows and a few rugs scattered across the floor. There's only one bed in your room too, as well as a desk in the corner, but the thing — or things in reality — that catches most of Jungkook's attention are all the stuffed animals strewn over your mattress. There are at least six, if not more; Jungkook can't see the exact amount due to the unmade state your bed is in. When you catch his looking, you stab his shoulder with your index finger. "You better not make any smart-ass comments."

"Of course not!" He raises his arms in defense as you sidestep him to go to your desk. He stands awkwardly in the entrance of your room, right in front of the door that you closed, and watch as you snatch a pen off your desk and stick the end of it in your mouth. Plopping down on the rug in front of your bed, you motion at the empty space in front of you.

"Look," you say as he seats himself across from him, "I am only going to tell you about Hoseok because everyone else her knows and maybe you'll feel special or something by knowing. Hoseok…isn't a new patient by any means, but he hasn't been around for a long time when compared to other patients here. For the first couple weeks after he got here, everyone thought he was fine and that nothing was wrong with him. No one understand why he was admitted here since there were no signs of anything being an issue. He was bright and loud, enthusiastic, optimistic, always talking to everyone he encountered." You hesitate, tugging on the pen in between your teeth, and gaze at something in the corner of the room. "Well, that was all a lie, an act really, and he was just trying to hide what was really going on in his mind. After…after things got more clear? I don't know how to word it, but his behavior made more sense once the mask started to crack. The little oddities he had — strange and random behavior, a weird sense of speech, constant confusion — they all started to add up and pile on top of each other. It seemed to happen so quickly that it was had to accept that the person we had grown accustomed to was actually nothing like that in reality. He still interacted with the others at that time, but the bubbly personality disappeared. He was…flat. Blank, didn't show much emotion, didn't speak much and whenever he did it was nonsense either grammatically or entirely unrelated to anything. It's—there were too many symptoms to list, and those things combined with his other disorder — the behaviors contradict each other, but the disorders make sense together.

"And, you know, it wouldn't be surprising if everyone in this clinic suffers from depression, but since his is atypical, it feels so different than anything else I've encountered. It's sad and unfortunate because Hoseok may never get to leave this place. Cases like his rarely get better, and there's not much Omelas can do for him. With a hopeless case, sometimes it seems like they aren't trying to do anything for him. I honestly don't feel bad for many people, but I do for Hoseok. He's sweet and nice, probably the nicest person I've ever met. It isn't his fault that he has to deal with the issues he has, and it isn't fair either. Someone so pure and kind — he doesn't deserve that kind of pain and suffering. It makes me wonder how things like that can happen to such a good person."

You pause to take a few deep breaths, eyes fluttering shut. Jungkook doesn't make a sound, and he's not sure he's even breathing at this point. Even with your eyes squeezed shut, your expression seems so melancholic that it hurts to look at your face, so Jungkook stares at his lap instead. The image before him is a dark and blurry one, an image it feels like he shouldn’t be looking at or witnessing.

"Before coming to Omelas, I didn't really care about anyone except myself. No one was important in my mind, and there wasn't anything who deserved my time because of constantly being let down. Now that I've been here though, surrounded by many people like Hoseok and Taehyung, I can't help but to feel for them. I wish there was more I could do to help them, because they deserve that. I know I'm not in a position to help them in all honesty, nor am I a person who can provide that for them. I’m not a good person, not someone anyone should look up to. I make a lot of mistakes, and yes every person does, but it’s—it’s just different. They don’t need a person like me in their lives, but it’s too difficult to just walk away from them." Jungkook reckons it’s like a landslide — the slippery slope he’s falling down — and at the bottom is your deepest, darkest place. Your guard is down, the brick walls Jungkook has found around you are not standing right now, and so when he asks his next question, he keeps his volume low as though it will keep you in the vulnerable position.

"Is that why you do things for them, like getting Taehyung the teddy bear and talking with Hoseok?"

"Yea, whatever good it does. Hoseok tries to be alone all the time, but I know that he doesn't actually like it. He stays alone because he thinks it's for the good of other people. For him personally, however, it's not good. Everything is difficult for him. Maybe by visiting him when I can and talking to him when no one else makes an effort to, I'm doing something good. If it is, then I think it's the only good thing I can do. I always come up short, yet when I’m helping them, it feels like I’ve been given a chance to fix things."

"That's not true though. Everything you do for Taehyung, and all—”

"Fuck," you cut Jungkook off, eyes snapping open. The grief-stricken expression drops from your features, and you replace it with a blank slate, hiding your vulnerability again. You toy with the pen in your mouth, twirling it a bit with your tongue as you stab a finger in Jungkook's direction. "I swear, Jeon, if you breathe a word about this—”

"I won't, I won't. Don't worry." Jungkook reassures you.

"Good. Now we need to discuss the plan for the laundry room heist tonight. That was the whole point of coming here, but you distracted me."

"Why did you choose me to help? Jimin said he would've gone."

"Have you already forgotten our deal?" Jungkook purses his lips and leans back.

"I want confirmation that you've done your part first," he requests. You scoff.

"We already made the deal."

"I-"

"No one has brought it up or mentioned it, right? So I've done my part. Even the nurses don't know. I took the bullet for you and said that I was the one who vomited in the hallway. I sure wish I could've seen Mingyu's reaction when he saw it outside his door though. That would've been fucking hilarious." You laugh to yourself, and Jungkook relents, trusting that your words are honest. "Besides, the deal was that I would keep it a secret and in return, you would do four favors for me. I didn't really want to use one of those favors on this, but that's why I asked for four and not three. I assumed you may not want to do this."

"I have no problem with doing this though. I was just curious as to why you picked me over Jimin."

"Well if you're on board, then I get to keep the favor for later. I'm sure I can figure something out." Jungkook opens his mouth to ask one more time about Jimin, but you continue speaking and he doesn't have the opportunity to. "The nurses collect all laundry from the rooms starting at 8 p.m., then work on it until curfew at 11. They do rounds to make sure everyone is in their rooms, finishing at 11:15, and go to their side of the ward to sleep or do whatever they do over there. Now, we need to meet at 11:27 on the dot, because the cameras in the hall will catch us otherwise. At 11:27, there is a break in the cameras' recordings because of a glitch. Two and a half minutes. That's all the time we have to get to the laundry room before the cameras come back on and recover from the glitch. We can search the laundry and stuff for Taehyung's bear for as long as we need to, but if it isn't there then we have a problem, because that means it could be in someone else's room or hidden somewhere else. If we can't find it in the laundry room, we'll search the kitchen as well. No one usually looks in or uses the cabinets since there's a pantry, but if Mingyu truly is the one who took it, he might hide it there. And if not, then we'll have to regroup and think about other possibilities tomorrow. Everything make sense so far?"

"Yep, crystal clear."

"Good. Now, the cameras in the kitchen have a blind spot, so if we push the fridge a little bit then it will cover the camera view enough for us to do what we need to do in the kitchen without being seen. It would be best if we move the fridge before tonight though, otherwise it might look a bit too suspicious. As for getting back to our rooms without the cameras catching us, there is only one other time where there's a glitch, and that's at 3:33 a.m. We will have to kill some time if we finish early and wait it out."

"How are we gonna kill that much time?" Jungkook asks, unsure of how long this whole operation is going to take. It shouldn't take long at all to search the laundry or the kitchen. There's no way.

"Of course we can sit in the dark and talk about our feelings."

"What?"

"Man, you have a terrible sense of humor. Terrible. You're going to be responsible for moving the fridge by the way. We should go back to the kitchen now to move it, because I have an appointment soon. We aren't going to talk about this again — especially not at dinner. You can't say a word to Yoongi or Namjoon or Seokjin. Taehyung doesn't need to know the plan either, okay? All in agreement?"

"Ye-Yea, it's just a lot of information at once," Jungkook admits. He rubs the expanse of skin between his brows and tries to recall the whole plan, but he can't remember the exact timing of things and it's fuzzy already.

"I can do a recap when we meet up tonight. 11:27, remember that much for now." You tug the pen out of your mouth, cradling it between your index and middle fingers, and stand up. "Come on, let's head back." You toss the pen onto your desk, and Jungkook hurries to join you by the door, nearly tripping over the rug as he gets to his feet. He trails a few feet behind you while the two of you walk until you start talking again, then he jogs to fall into step with you. "Say, Jungkookie, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Uh, no thank you?" Jungkook responds, but he has a nasty feeling that you are going to prod for answers no matter what he says. In fact, you laugh at his response, then --

"What do you have?" Jungkook chokes on air even though he knows he should've expected such a question from you. "I have some ideas, and I've been doing more thinking since finding you in the hallway. To be transparent, I've never seen something like that out of other patients. Although, I'm not the most observant person so that means nothing."

"It's anxiety. That's all," Jungkook says through gritted teeth. He doesn't want to continue a conversation on the subject, and frankly, he doesn't want to have it with you of all people because you saw him in his most vulnerable state of existence. You don't put the topic to rest, however.

"You gotta clarify. There are five major types of anxiety disorders and then tons of subtypes within each one as well. Hell, I can say I've got 'anxiety' but that doesn't really mean anything since there are so many options under that umbrella."

"Why do you want to know?" You huff at his question and fold your arms over your chest.

"I'm nosy, okay?"

Jungkook doesn't follow up with anything else, and maybe if he stays quiet, you won't continue to pry for answers. Please don't ask again. Just drop it. Is this some sort of punishment for asking you personal questions?

"Oh, Namjoon, you're here!"

Sure enough, as the two of you step into the kitchen, Jungkook's gaze falls on Namjoon, who sits at the counter with a spiral journal set out before him. The man looks up when you call his name and pauses his careful strokes to greet you with a dimpled smile. You return the smile, joining him at the counter and sitting beside him without hesitation. Jungkook on the other hand freezes in place and blinks between you and the fridge. If the only reason in coming to the kitchen was to move the fridge, then you both are screwed now because of Namjoon's presence.

"What are you two up to?" Namjoon inquires. A tapping noise accompanies his words, pen finding purchase again the counter top.

"We ran into each other when leaving our rooms," you explain without batting a lash. How can you lie so easily? And to one of your friends at that? Jungkook swallows, fighting the lump that swells in his throat.

"And you happened to be heading in the same direction?" Perhaps Namjoon sees through the lie, or his intuition tells him something that Jungkook's doesn't, or maybe he's simply known you long enough to be able to recognize when you are lying.

"Well, I was coming to get the peanut butter crackers I made earlier, but Taehyung must have snagged them since they're gone." Jungkook glances at the counter and notices that you're telling the truth about that at the very least. There are no traces of your plate, the crackers, or the peanut butter — the knife has disappeared as well, and Jungkook laughs at the idea that Taehyung stole all of it while you were gone. "Jungkook was only walking with me because I was being nosy and asking a lot of personal questions."

Namjoon heaves a deep sigh and halts his pen tapping in favor of side-eyeing you. He doesn't comment on it though. You offer a forced smile to defend yourself before redirecting your attention to Jungkook.

"Oh, you didn't finish telling me what branch of anxiety you have."

Namjoon coughs, Jungkook glares at you, and you simply keep grinning like a Cheshire without a care in the world. Dammit what kind of game are you playing? Jungkook clears his throat. The heat is travelling up his spine and through his limbs, leaving his fingers cold and shaky. Namjoon's focus is on Jungkook as well now, no thanks to you, and the weight of all the attention cripples him. He fights to breathe and carefully swallows each gulp of air like he's never breathed before.

"Panic Disorder," he chokes out at last.

"Neat," you say. And that's all. You add nothing else to the simple spoken word, and it nags at the pit already growing in Jungkook's stomach. The vulnerable girl he saw not too long has disappeared. The replacement reminds him of the devil, a demon without care or remorse, because that sickly sweet smile sticks to your lips like glue. If he thought he had you figured out, Jungkook would have to backtrack on everything he's learned about you so far. All the behaviors and mannerisms he thought he could attribute to you permanently are out the window. He doesn't know you, doesn't know anything about you, can't decipher which parts are real and which are the roles you play to throw him off.

"Y/N, don't be mean about it," Namjoon chastises. He flicks your arm, and you retaliate with a soft 'ow', rubbing the skin where he hit you. "It must have taken a lot for him to admit that. The last thing he needs is for you to treat him like a joke. Jungkook, I empathize with you and understand that your struggles must be pretty tough. Being in a new place like this with such…eccentric people around you probably doesn't help much either."

"Thanks…” Jungkook trails off, and embarrassment starts to settle in over the anxiety bubbling in his chest.

"Hey, I get it. It's probably easy for you to feel overwhelmed or like you're drowning, but as far as I can tell from the albeit short amount of time we've interacted, you seem to manage it well. Even so, I think you should be a bit more willing to be vulnerable. Not with Y/N — no offense, but also some offense intended."

"Wow rude, Joon. My heart is hurt."

"Anyways, I'd love to help in whatever way I can. I'm sorry if I've gotten somewhat annoying because I don't answer most of your questions and tell you off for asking so many questions. I'm always willing to be a helping hand though, or a listening ear for when you need it." Namjoon doesn't break his gaze with Jungkook. The younger can't help but to compare Namjoon's offer to Hyewon's earlier one. The overlap is uncanny, and if Jungkook didn't know better, he would almost assume that Namjoon and Hyewon discussed this beforehand. Namjoon, however, just contains that warmth and kindness in him; Jungkook saw it the day he came to the clinic, and it hasn't faltered except for two times. The morning of the fight between you and Mingyu, and when Jungkook asked him about your relationship with Yoongi. Namjoon nudges your side with his elbow all the sudden, breaking his stare with Jungkook.

"You should return the personal answer with one of your own. It's only fair, and it would satiate the poor boy's endless curiosity." Namjoon surely knows what Jungkook would ask you about, especially since it's one of the only questions he has ever asked Namjoon in relation to you. Seeing as Namjoon answered his other questions, that leaves the one. The glance Namjoon exchanges with Jungkook confirms his suspicions as well. Why does he want me to bring that up again? Last time he got defensive and angry with me for asking.

You narrow your eyes at Namjoon's suggestion, and Jungkook can see the way your jaw shifts even from the distance he's at.

Namjoon flashes his dimples your way, taking in the serious expression on your face, then laughs.

"You would never honestly answer a personal question or allow such a question to be asked though."

"You aren't wrong, but I am still awfully curious about what his question would be." You shift your chin in Jungkook's direction, but he can't look at you while Namjoon's gaze bears into his skull. The man shakes his head slightly even though you can't see him. Jungkook knows it's a warning. He knows Namjoon is telling him not to ask. Yet you are presenting a golden opportunity on a silver platter, and Jungkook is greedy. This chance — Jungkook doesn't want to pass it up.

"I would ask about Yoongi and your relationship with him." His voice starts confident, but it dies to a mutter as he sees the way Namjoon's expression shifts.

"If you'll excuse me, I just remembered that I agreed to give Hanuel a book, so I should go take care of that." The stool slides against the tile floor, and a hideous scraping noise rises as it does, Namjoon standing and snapping his journal shut. He doesn't wait for you or Jungkook to offer a farewell or speak at all and makes a hasty exit. If he didn't think Y/N would answer the question, why would he leave?

"I'm sorry, Jeon, but I don't recall that being any of your business. You shouldn't be asking things like that. How many times will I have to repeat myself?"

"You said that you wan—”

"You see, here's the thing. I told you this the first day — the first damn day — and then I reminded you four days ago after your panic attack. Don't. Just don't. Some things will get you in trouble, and some information is withheld for your own good." The illumination in your eyes turns dull as you speak, words leaving your lips with a sharper tone.

"You said that you wanted to know what question I would ask." Jungkook defends his actions, unsure as to why you got so furious all the sudden. "That's all I was doing. I wasn't asking for answers, or expecting them, because Namjoon said you wouldn't answer."

"Okay, fine. You don't need to get all defensive. Just move the fridge now while no one is around."

Jungkook sighs at your response and turns to the fridge. "How much do I need to move it?"

"Four or five inches away from the wall, maybe slant it to the right a bit too."

Jungkook follows your orders without complaint. What is her problem? She said she wanted to know, and all I did was tell her.

"Look, do you want to know why that would be my question? I can tell you the reason if that's why you're upset."

"Who said I was upset? But go ahead and enlighten me, Jungkook."

"I don't know anything about Yoongi. I can't approach him, I don't know what his personality really is like behind the stony front he puts up, and I have no clue how to get on his good side. From what I've seen so far, nothing about your relationship makes sense, even as a friendship. Mingyu and Yesung obviously mentioned Yoongi for a reason, and Yesung asked something too specific that had implications of something besides a friendship. It's not th—”

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I am not asking you to!" Jungkook retorts. He is just as surprised as you are at the volume and vehemence behind his tone. Taking a moment to breathe, Jungkook returns to speaking in a calmer manner. "I simply don't understand a lot of things, and this is one of them. How can you be friends with him when he doesn't do anything to defend you or help you. He did nothing when Yesung and Mingyu verbally attacked you."

"You think I can't fight my own battles? Am I weak to you? Complacent and helpless without a man to back me up? You don't understand and frankly you wouldn't even if someone spelled it out for you." You stand as you speak, leaving the comfort of the stool and stepping away from the counter. "That's not how it works."

"That's not how what works?"

"We are going to carry through with the plans for tonight," you say and blatantly ignore the question Jungkook posed.

"Any time I confront you with something personal, you run away." He regrets the words when you turn around, the fury in your eyes making his blood run cold. Your eyebrows lift as your eyes widen, and the scowl across your lips is nothing short of terrifying.

"Excuse me? That isn't running away from confrontation. It's keeping my private and personal life that way. You aren't a part of that, and I have zero intention of bringing you into my personal life in the future. You don't know me, Jeon Jungkook, and I don't know you. We are simply two people at the same clinic who interact with each other out of necessity. You are nothing but a means to an end. I am in this for myself. I couldn't care less about your side of things, and I am being fucking honest about that too. This is fairly simple, Jungkook. Get your nose out of my business, keep your head down, and do your part of the deal. I won't say it again."

The words bite at his skin, a pinprick sensation all over his body. Nothing but a means to an end. He doesn’t know which version of you is the real one. Nothing. In your eyes, Jungkook is meaningless. Nothing new, no change, and no different from every other hell hole I’ve set foot in. You don’t care about him, and that much is clear. He is merely a fresh fish in the sea of familiarity around you. Since he knows nothing, you can use that against him and everyone else in the clinic.

It shouldn’t hurt as badly as it does, because you have a valid point. Jungkook doesn’t know you, and you don’t know him. The two of you may as well be strangers, like the next door neighbors who merely know each other’s names or the two students who pass one another in the hallway.

“I understand,” Jungkook says through the swell in his throat.

“Good,” you mutter back, head ducked away from Jungkook so he can’t see your face. When you walk away, your pace is slow, and you drag your feet as though unsure of the movements. A glance over your shoulder before you disappear from Jungkook’s sight. Once he can’t see you anymore, he squeezes his eyes shut to block out the image of your expression.

Slam.

A clenched fist makes contact with the side of the fridge, and it trembles under the force of Jungkook’s attack. He brings the same hand up to his forehead, pressing hard against the skin between his eyes in an attempt to alleviate the pressure building up there. It’s in that moment that he realizes the version of you he witnessed in your room — the vulnerable one who spoke without a care — that was not your darkest place. Your darkest place is the version of you that parades throughout the clinic with a mask over you, and Jungkook has to figure out how to face that reality.

...

written by: jungtaeyoongles

a/n: take the survery here!

consider sending me a ko-fi!!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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nochuuuenthusiast · 6 years ago

Text

approval

hi guys! i’m so sorry... this series is taking me forever to edit and perfect ahhh! i’ll try to post the next part of this series sometime this week (maybe friday~ ish)... okay well here you go, and i hope you have an amazing day :)

plot: jungkook gets your parents’ approval

genre: fluff

word count: 2286

(a/n): peep jungkook’s elephant moles... hehehe so so so cute !

He was pacing back and forth of his large closet, thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

What if they secretly don’t like me? What if they think i’m not good enough for her? What if they don’t give me their approval?

Just at the thought of disapproval, Jungkook sweat even more. His hands were becoming more and more clammy.

You and Jungkook have been dating for 3 years now and Jungkook had already made up his mind: he was ready to marry you. It’s not like he wasn’t ready before (in fact, he had already been seriously thinking about marrying you since the first year you guys started dating), but both of your busy schedules never allowed him to sit down and plan everything. And despite his hectic idol life, he knew that he was more ready to marry you now than he’ll ever be. He was committed to you. He loved you. And because he loved you, he needed to confront your parents first.

You guys had talked about marriage before but it was always in a lighthearted way-- not anything serious... at least in your eyes. Jungkook recalled a memory of your second anniversary when you walked along the Han River, holding hands, as you talked about your future together. He was trying to subtly get your insight about marriage and was trying to ask you questions in a “hypothetical manner” so that you wouldn’t think that he was being serious... and it worked... you had no clue.... and Jungkook got exactly what he wanted.

“(y/n)ah... how would you like to get proposed to?”

Jungkook was trying his best to be subtle... he didn’t want you to get freaked out and think that he was going to propose to you anytime soon.

“Ahaha well... when I was really little, I always imagined my proposal to be reallyyy romantic... and private. I don’t think I’d want to be proposed to in front of a crowd... I’d feel to pressured and I think I would be too embarrassed to appreciate the moment...” Note taken.

“And I mean... this is really cheesy but 10 year old (y/n) always dreamed of being proposed to on top of the Eiffel Tower during the nighttime... with a beautiful view of Paris in the background. I’d be staring off into the distance, enjoying the view... and when I turn around, I’d see him on one knee with a sparkling diamond ring in his palm, but at the same time... 10 year old (y/n) never thought about things realistically so I don’t think that would ever happen...” you rambled on by yourself while Jungkook admired your words.

“But now that I’m older, I’ve set more realistic expectations... like a complete surprise with bouquet of the prettiest pink and white flowers and some wine... hehehe... I know... my expectations have totally downgraded... but hey, it’s still pretty romantic.” At this point, you didn’t even care if Jungkook was paying attention or not... you were just having fun fantasizing about your imaginative proposal.

“But before any of that happens, he has to get my parents’ approval first. They’re so important to me and I love them so much... if he didn’t ask them for permission first and I found out... I would feel like I betrayed them,” you said in a more serious tone. Second note taken.

“But anyways... these are all hypotheticals anyways,” you said, trying to shift your focus away from the topic of proposals.

Jungkook listened intently and made sure to keep all of this information stored in his brain... he knew that it would be useful later...

And now that Jungkook was one step closer to asking you to marry him, he was beginning to recall of those memories again. He knew he had to ask you parents... he knew how important their approval was to you... and he especially didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable if he didn’t ask them for permission.

They’ll like me, right?

Jungkook has met them several times before, but for some reason... he was feeling more insecure with himself today. He had no idea what they would say and he didn’t want to mess anything up since he knew his heart would rot away if he didn’t marry you. You were too important to him. He’d never loved anyone more than you.

Jungkook continued to pace back and forth inside of his closet... trying to formulate the perfect outfit. He didn’t want to look too formal... so no tuxedo. But he also didn’t want to look too informal... they would think that he didn’t view this as important... so no jeans. After what seemed to be half an hour of concentrating on his outfit, he finally decided on wearing his dress pants with a loose white button up shirt. He sprayed his lightest-smelling cologne and touched up his hair so that it didn’t look like he just woke up.

5:00pm. It was time. Jungkook told your parents that he would be at their house by 6:00pm and have dinner with them. His hands couldn’t have been clammier than they already were.

He stared at this reflection in the full body mirror one last time to see if he had any imperfections, and when he couldn’t detect any, he went to his shoe rack to put on his cleanest shoes. Jungkook grabbed his keys and a bottle of water... he’d be needing it if he started to get sweaty and nervous again.

He let out one big sigh that had been building up since his nerves began, and headed out the door. Finally. The day has come. I’m one step closer to my goal. My future.

It took Jungkook 30 minutes to arrive at your parents’ house and another 20 minutes to get the courage to walk up to their door. This was the most anxious he had already felt.

He had already asked his members for their advice about a week ago when he first told them that he had bought a ring and that he was going to marry you... at least he hoped he would... he wouldn’t know until after this day was over.

“You’re gonna be fine Jungkook... they love you... they’re gonna say ‘yes,’” Namjoon said.

“Yeah Jungkook... you’re gonna be okay,” Jimin chimed in.

“Aww our maknae is all grown up... he’s getting married~” Jhope said.

Despite their reassurance, Jungkook was still doubtful. He didn’t know what to expect from your parents. Who knows? What if they never liked him from the start and they were just being nice to him without ever expecting him to marry you. They did always seem skeptical about his career... he had a feeling that they though that being an idol as someone’s main career was unstable and risky. Because he was an idol, he always thought they thought of him as incapable and not good enough for you. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

Jungkook closed his eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. He reopened his eyes. This was it. He had nothing to lose.

Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong.

Within a matter of seconds, your mom opened the door and welcomed Jungkook with a hearty smile. He bowed instantly and began to take off his shoes before entering the house. He always loved your mom... she reminded him of you...

“Oh Jungkook! You came! We haven’t seen you in such a long time~ come in, come in,” she said as she ushered him in.

“Wahhh~ Jungkook~ how did you get more handsome from the last time I saw you! I watched your new music video by the way! Bangtan, fighting!” she said merrily as she laughed by herself. Even her laugh reminded him of you...

Jungkook received the compliment your mother gave him and he took a seat on the sofa... he shook his legs as he waited for you father to appear. He never knew what your father thought of him... he was very protective of his one and only daughter...Jungkook was intimidated from the very beginning.

“HONEY!!! JUNGKOOK’S HERE! COME DOWNSTAIRS~” Your mom yelled so that your father was notified that Jungkook was here.

Phew... deep breaths Jungkook, deep breaths... In. Out.

His palms were sweating profusely. He wiped the sweat on his pants.

Jungkook could hear your father walking towards him from the hallway of the small home. Jungkook prepared himself for the worst and stood up to greet the man who would soon determine the course of his life with a simple “yes” or “no.”

“Nae~ annyeonghaseyo~” Jungkook gave him his 90 degree bow.

“Oh~ Jungkook~ nice to see you,” your father greeted him when he saw Jungkook.

“Come sit... you said you wanted to talk to us about something,” he said as he walked with your mother to his seat in the living room.

You rmother placed a bowl of fruit on the glass coffee table that was in front of the seats and Jungkook took a seat across from them. He wanted to seem as formal as possible... their approval was the only thing he needed right now...

“Yes, um...” Jungkook was fidgeting with his thumbs underneath the coffee table. “Um... well, I’ve been with your daughter for quite a long time...” He couldn’t believe he was doing this right now.

Your father put down his fork on top of his napkin and leaned back against his chair to concentrate on Jungkook’s words. He scrunched his nose in concentration and Jungkook didn’t know whether he was disliking his statement or not... well... there was no turning back now...

“And I love her very much... So much to the point where I’ve decided that I want to marry her... but I know how much you both mean to her so I came to ask for your permission for her hand in marriage.” Jungkook’s heart had never beat as fast as it had at that moment.

Your father and mother looked at each other and Jungkook’s couldn’t tell whether they were upset or excited... he needed to know... his heart was about to burst open... and the silence wasn’t helping either.

Please, please, please, please, please...

Your father looked into Jungkook’s eyes and saw pure desperation and nervousness. He knew that Jungkook loved you. If he didn’t love you... he wouldn’t look this desperate or worried... he knew that he was meant for you. He had seen it before... He saw when Jungkook hugged you from behind when you were feeling stressed about the project that your boss told you to finish earlier than the due date. He saw when Jungkook kissed your knee when you fell over and scraped it because you were wearing high heels. He saw when Jungkook would let you rest your head on his shoulder as you slowly drifted off into sleep. He saw when Jungkook stared deeply into your eyes and whispered “I love you” to your ear when you were fast asleep.

He saw all of this from a distance and he knew that Jungkook treated you like an angel. He knew that Jungkook loved you. He knew that he couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law.

Although your father never seemed to give any reactions towards Jungkook, he only did that to see if Jungkook would still want to be with you after seeing how emotionless he could be. And indeed, Jungkook had enough courage to still want to be with you.

“Jungkook...” your father looked at your mother as she gave him a small nod. “Of course... you have our full permission. Treat her well. She’s too precious to let go. We know how much you love her. And we also know how much she loves you...”

Jungkook lifted his eyes and didn’t know how to contain his happiness.

Did I hear that right? They gave me permission...

“I’m looking forward to the wedding, son,” your father said as he smiled.

“Yes sir... I promise,” Jungkook said firmly and smiled in glee. He couldn’t believe it. He got their permission-- what he wanted most in life. He was ecstatic.

“Do you have the ring with you?” your mother asked, curious to see what kind of ring he bought for you.

“Yes, I do, actually.” Jungkook reached into the front pocket on his pants and reached in to get the diamond ring that he bought a month ago from the most expensive jeweler that he could book.

“Oh my goodness~ look at the size of that diamond! (y/n)’s gonna love that,” your mom said as she continued to stare at the ring.

Jungkook had spent a pretty penny on the ring but he did not feel even the tiniest bit of regret... you deserved it and he loved you too much... he felt the urge to spoil you.

"I wish (y/n)’s father would have gotten me a ring like this~” your mother teased. “Why don’t you take a look at Jungkook and learn how to be more romantic for you wife,” your mother said as she shifted her attention towards your father.

“Hey! Your ring was just as nice as this... it was very expensive, you know that?” your father responded.

Jungkook couldn’t help but smile and laugh at their playful banter. He wanted you two to be like your parents in the future... loving, even after years and years of marriage.

“Okay well if that’s all settled then, let’s go eat... the food’s getting cold,” your mother said.

Everyone stood up from their seats and headed towards the dining table... I still can’t believe this is real... I’m gonna ask (y/n) to marry me.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #fluff #bts fluff #kpop fluff #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #scenario #kpop

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karinrumi · 6 years ago

Text

She’s his mechanic [KawaSumi, OneShot, AU]

AN: Because First Villian x Another Villian ship could have an interesting dynamic is my official excuse for writing this OneShot. [But the truth is @benteja mentioned KawaSumi could have a similar dynamic to EdWin on discord and at this point, nobody could stop me from writing it.] Enjoy puns and hidden Naruto references!

Both Kawaki and Sumire are older when the events of the OneShot are happening since it’s an AU. And the interaction between Sumire and Kawaki can be little OCC because as of now they didn’t interact with each other in canon.

Happy Mother’s Day for all moms around the globe and Happy Birthday for all people born in May.

Anyway, I hope it’ll be an enjoyable read.

MY MASTERLIST

Your clumsy author - Karinrumi ;)

Title: She’s His Mechanic. [KawaSumi, KawakixSumire, OneShot, AU]

Rating: M.

Wordcount: 3, 842.

Sumire cleaned the lab working under her senior colleague, Akita. She respected this woman a lot and always listened to her instructions. After all, it was thanks to Mr Katasuke that she had a chance of figuring out how to synergize with Nue.

Working with the machines and new inventions was far more enjoyable for Sumire as of lately. At first, she thought about joining the Ninja Science Department only because of Nue and when she doubted her decision Boruto's words were the final push she needed to do so.

However, when she wanted to be a ninja didn't her decision was influenced by Boruto too? But a lot of days passed without Sumire even seeing him, not to mention she found new people that were the source of her inspiration, so her enjoyment right now originated from something else than Boruto's words, right?

It was quite a while when Sumire really enjoyed something for real. Brainstorming with the team about new inventions that can basically change the entire fate of a fight, helping civilians with new tech, even simple tasks like cleaning was more enjoyable than Sumire thought it would be before.

"Sumire, could you please move this package over there?" Akita asked pointing out her finger towards the table with a label 'Prototype-Mecha-Hands'.

"Prototypes of mechanical hands? I thought we already finished making them, Akita." Sumire said in her confusion but still walked over to pick up the box and put it on the assigned table.

"Well, kind of. Finished mecha-hands are just for specific people. The main reason for it is that our finished ones use the basic chakra system." Akita's explanation was reasonable. It's not surprising the package content went under the label of the prototype products in this case.

"Eh? Wouldn't that mean our mecha-hands are mainly suitable just for the ninja? What about the citizens which chakra is hard to identify?" Well, technically the science department Sumire worked for, focused on ninja tools, but improving technology for Konoha citizens was equally important. If you took into consideration how many times Konoha was attacked in the past... Creation of mechanical hands and legs for people with hard to identify chakra could pay off in the future.

"Our tools are created specifically for the ninja, but sir Katasuke wanted to improve our mecha-hands anyway. Our intended goal is to make our product available without the need for using or depending on the other person chakra." And that's how Akita Inuzuka started to talk about the details of their new experiments with prototype products.

Immersed in their discussion like always they forgot about cleaning and after snapping out of it finished to clean everything losing half of their life span. On the lucky side of things, Seventh Hokage was late to his earlier announced visit.

Taking into consideration that Sumire planned to attack the village hurting innocent people in the process and Mr Katasuke's actions under genjutsu influence, Hokage regular visits to supervise them weren't surprising.

"Now when I think about it is there a reason why we suddenly work again on mecha-hands prototypes? We were focusing on our other project just yesterday." Sumire decided to ask Akita while waiting for Naruto Uzumaki arrival.

“You’re pretty sharp. The project we were working was postponed this morning." Akita sigh meant it was a really stressful situation for their staff.

"Why?!" From what Sumire gathered project that started just yesterday came to a halt this morning. It was unusual because when Mr Katasuke discarded projects staff was informed one week before it could happen.

"We received a special request from Lord Seventh," Akita whispered to her.

If the project was scrapped because Hokage had a special request, it's no wonder Mr Katasuke accepted it. Both her and Mr Katasuke should be happy to receive the second chance that Naruto Uzumaki was willing to give them.

"Oh... Isn't it rare occurrence?" Sumire curiosity about what Naruto Uzumaki requested just grew more when Akita asked her to make tea for the guest that was supposed to arrive one hour ago.

"Yeah, it's rare. Would you like to lead the project requested by Hokage? You've worked with us long enough, so I don't think Katasuke would be against you taking the lead." Akita tried to start the topic in the most casual, possible way.

"Could I really work on it?" Sumire question hid excitement and enjoyment that she now felt.

"Yes. Why won't you talk with Lord Seventh personally? It seems he already came." What?! Hearing Akita's words Sumire looked in the direction of the front door and saw Naruto Uzumaki smiling and waving in her direction.

"It would be great if you want to work on my request Sumire, ya know?" Naruto spoke and Sumire at that moment wanted to disappear from embarrassment she couldn't sense Hokage presence at all.

"Really, Lord Seventh? Can I?" Sumire couldn't believe her luck. It was the truth she enjoyed tinkering with machines, so working on mecha-hands was the big opportunity to work on the project she's passionate about.

"You can, ya know! I can include it to your rehabilitation record. I'll explain to you everything in detail personally." Lord Seventh ruffled her hair gently. Sumire was grateful that Naruto Uzumaki didn't treat her coldly.

"Thank you!" Sumire bowed and followed Lord Seventh to the main lab room. After all, she needs to know why Hokage requested them to work on prototypes of mecha-hands.

Naruto Uzumaki sat on one of the chairs in the main lab room and gestured for Sumire to sit next to Mr Katasuke that was surprised seeing her here.

"I took under my protection the boy named Kawaki. Some of you know it already, but he lost his arm protecting my daughter, Himawari. For now, he's using my own personal mecha-hand as a temporary solution, but it has its limits." Sumire had a hunch The Lord Seventh explanation was mainly for her and not Mr Katasuke that looked rather bored hearing this story.

Sumire was glad Himawari was safe and nodded prompting for Lord Seventh to finish explaining his request. She could tell that he had fun in being overdramatic with his explanations, now she knew where Boruto got from his storytelling skills.

"For various reasons, I want to appoint Sumire as Kawaki’s personal mechanic. I honestly believe that this boy should interact more with children around his age without trying to insult them." Naruto Uzumaki sighed.

"So not only will I be checking how Kawaki adjust to the Lord Seventh mecha-hand, but try to create a more suitable replacement for Kawaki needs?" Sumire asked. Lord Seventh gave her the report with all the information she needed. After a while of bragging how he's more popular with children in comparison to Sarada's father, Lord Seventh shadow clone disappeared from the lab.

"He could just hand us the report and save all those theatrics for later. Anyway, I appoint you as the leader for our mecha-body-parts project, Sumire. Don't disappoint me." Mr Katasuke was really serious right now so Sumire couldn't mess up things up. It was her chance to work on something she really is passionate about.

And she planned to use this chance in the best way possible.

A week passed after Sumire started to work on Lord Seventh request. She was preparing every needed thing for the first meeting with Kawaki that was supposed to come today.

In the precise moment, she wanted to question her subordinate competence a handsome, tall boy with the appearance of a delinquent entered the room without knocking.

"Yo, I came for the check-up and to meet my mechanic." From his seemingly uncaring mannerism in his body language, Sumire had a hunch it was the person Lord Seventh described in his report.

"Oh, you've arrived earlier than I anticipated. I'm your appointed mechanic, Sumire Kakei." Sumire introduced herself with the best smile she could manage. Some even could say she was sparkling during this introduction. The first impressions are important after all. It doesn’t matter if they just an act or not.

"Ain't you fucking sunshine and rainbow," Kawaki glared in her direction not hiding his suspicions towards her. Sumire seeing his reaction could sense he just like she had a difficult life. Now she could understand why Lord Seventh told her being Kawaki's mechanic can be included as part of her rehabilitation.

"Ain't you an example of a real gentleman?" Sumire raised her eyebrow accepting the challenge of showing him she wasn't either sunshine or a rainbow. If he ever develops balls to really get to learn anything about her at all.

"You scientists are always up to something shadier than my appearance," he growled. It seems despite his short temper and rude attitude Kawaki had really high intelligence and decided to accept her challenge. Sumire couldn't help but respect him for that. It's the first time when a person could see through her acting.

"I can assure you that not all scientist are shady. Some of them really want to help people using just the ethical methods. I don't know what happened between you and scientists in the past, but I intend to gain your trust and in exchange, I want for you to trust me too," she boldly proclaimed. If acting doesn't work then being honest will.

"...fine," he sighed probably thinking she was too bold and refusing her meant disrespecting Lord Seventh care for him.

After the check-up and listening to all Kawaki problems with the hand he got from Lord Seventh, Sumire noted everything down for further research purposes and subtly told him he can leave. After that, she scolded her co-worker for failing his task but giving him a second chance to fix the mess he made.

Her relationship with Kawaki is rather hard to describe, but Sumire had a hope she'll gain his trust. Especially, since they're supposed to work together from now on. At least now she had a glimpse of what to do in future. And it was her own decision, the decision she made without depending on anyone.

Buying research materials wasn't something girls around her age did. Most of them visited Konoha shopping district to buy a cute accessory, ninja tools, or fashionable clothes.

It wasn't the only reason Sumire made a long-trip to Konoha. She wanted to see both Boruto and Sarada. Double-check if the decision she made to give up on her feelings for Boruto is the correct one. Spotting them a minute later and seeing their happy banter, Sumire was sure the decision she plans to make is the right one.

It was time to stop idolise Boruto and depend on him for everything she wants to do in her life.

"Ain't you that mechanic little girl?" Sumire could swear the voice she heard was familiar.

Turning around she noticed Kawaki holding a Lord Seventh card from the Shinobi Extreme Scrolls. He looked at her with bored expression ignoring girls that swarmed around him like a flies due to his so-called 'mature charm.'

"Who you're calling a little girl? I'm the only present mature girl here," she shrugged it off completely ignoring murderous stares of other girls.

"Such pettiness. If it ain't proving you're little girl, so your other traits do." Kawaki stood up and walked over to her in an attempt to perhaps run away from unnecessary attention.

"Just because I'll let that comment slide doesn't mean I'm a little girl," she clarified.

"Yeah, yeah. Where are you going?" From what Sumire knew from the rumours it was strange Kawaki was that calm while interacting with her. Maybe the main reason for it was that Hokage gave him an instruction to respect her? It didn't mean she personally gained Kawaki's respect and trust. At least not yet.

"To the tool shop. I need some things for my research and your next check-up." Sumire felt she could be honest in Kawaki's presence. Even when she was spending time with her friends from academy days, she was acting to some degree. But Kawaki wasn't her friend from the academy, so she didn't see why she should bother with all theatrics. That guy could see through her acting anyway.

"I'll go with you," Kawaki stated with confidence. Sumire suspected it was because he wanted to make sure she's telling the truth. The more time she spends with him, she's more convinced he holds some grudge against science, or to be precise experiments.

"Suit yourself." It was the only thing she could tell. Rest of the day was filled with complete silence between her and Kawaki.

Their second encounter was more casual, they even made a small conversation. Kawaki didn't trust or respect her, but she made progress.

Sumire was aware that getting to know Kawaki will require having a lot of patience and time. Because she had a hard past as well, she probably understood it more than anyone else. Perhaps. She wasn't a mind reader, so maybe Kawaki is right in calling her a little girl.

Sumire made the first step in stopping being dependent on Boruto. Instead of her usual two-braids, she changed her hairstyle into braided-bun. She still didn't want to cut her hair to respect the memory of her mother.

"Your bun looks nice", commented Akita while they were working together yesterday. Sumire liked that change herself. It was the first change she made to strive towards her goal of being more independent.

From now on she wanted to live her own life not being dependent or completely influenced by others. She'll grow to be a beautiful, independent, confident woman that can hold her own ground. Hey, maybe she could be a famous scientist in the future?! That would be nice.

"What do you think, Nue?" she asked her first friend and companion. Sumire decided to summon this still little monkey and was happily explaining everything that happened when he wasn't summoned. Nue just nodded approving decision Sumire made. Spending time with her long-time friend really helped her to feel refreshed.

Recently her days were filled with leading some projects, doing routine check-ups on Kawaki mecha-hand and going out to Konoha shopping district to have all needed materials. She saw and initiated the conversation with her old friends but had the best contact with Denki, Iwabe, Metal Lee, Wasabi and Namida. It's strange how time can change the structure of your relationships.

"Yo, little mechanic girl," Kawaki entered the lab and Sumire sighed. Because of him 'little mechanic girl' started to be a nickname used by her co-workers.

"I'm not the little mechanic girl. I'm growing up, you know?" Well, her words weren't taken seriously by Kawaki at all. At least he didn't show his usual short-temper. He once called Sarada an 'asshole' during one of his bad days.

"You're still far from being mature. Changing the way you tie your hair up ain't changing that." This sort of conversation started to be a welcoming ritual between them. Kawaki always called her a 'little mechanic girl', she denied it by saying she's mature just for him to refute by stating she's still immature.

Sumire started to work by doing the usual check-up. It will consume some time to make it, but she created the formula for mecha-hands designed for people with hard to identify chakra.

"Ain't you too much serious today?" Kawaki chose the wrong moment to talk.

"How do you manage to talk when I try to focus and be silent when I want to talk?" she decided to ask. It was rare for Kawaki to be in a talkative mood. Sumire was usually the one that was doing all the talking.

"Don't you remember? You challenged me subtly during our first meeting. Ain't it normal I'm testing if you're really trustworthy?" Kawaki looked at her like it was the first time he's genuinely interested in how she responds.

"I suppose it is. Trust after all is something you build up just with people you want to put faith in." Yes, it was the answer Sumire reached after thinking through her past actions. She regretted them, was grateful for a receiving second chance, but the feeling of guilt welling up inside her mind never left her side.

"That doesn't mean they're good people," he scowled. Considering this conversation triggered her bad memories, Sumire was assuming it could trigger some bad memories for Kawaki too.

"In that case perhaps we're more similar than we initially thought," Sumire concluded the subject. Rest of the check-up they spend in their usual silence.

Sumire knew that she was far from gaining Kawaki trust and respect. However, now she could understand him a little bit better as a person.

Her hard work to change paid off. Not only her hairstyle was fitting for her new image of a future scientist but her clothes too. Maybe she'll manage to really be acknowledged as mature by Kawaki. She honestly doubted it, but she could always hope.

"And mecha-hand suitable for that stubborn donkey that can't admit I'm mature is finished!" Sumire happily admired the polished result.

"Ain't this sort of comments proving you're still a little mechanic girl?" Kawaki raised his eyebrow. Sumire wasn't even surprised he entered the lab without knocking. She was more worried she couldn't even notice he was here until he spoke to her.

"Oh, you're here. Good, I need to make few final adjustments." Sumire ignoring his comment meant they were going into silence mode. There was a lot she had to work on today. For example, swapping Lord Seventh mecha-hand with mecha-hand created for Kawaki needs.

After the final adjustments, Sumire was satisfied it was over. Six-months of hard work and regular check-up meetings with Kawaki to create mecha-hands designed for civilians were worth it.

"How do you feel with using your new mecha-hand? It's adjusted to your body size, so it should make your movement easier. " Sumire needed to jot down Kawaki input just in case she needed to make more adjustments.

"It feels strange using another artificial hand, but I think I'll manage." Kawaki opinion was helpful, even if he was lost in thought looking at the ceiling of the lab.

"In that case, we can limit our check-ups to two meetings every month." Sumire decided and got his approval.

"I think you'll remain a little mechanic girl, but among all scientists, I know I respect you the most," Kawaki whispered, which didn't escape Sumire's attention that this time had on her real smile.

Sumire still couldn't describe her relationship with Kawaki, but his respect towards her meant a lot. During these past six months, she started to respect him too. Though, she wasn't sure where their mutual respect for each other will lead to.

Sumire mainly worked staying the entire day inside the lab, so taking a day off felt like a strange phenomenon for her. Just like they agreed on Kawaki regularly visited the lab for check-ups two times every month. That helped them to start to be on more friendly terms.

Sort of friends. Neither she or Kawaki openly called their relationship a friendship. Even after they managed to open up a little about the past family problems they had in common.

Having shitty fathers was the things that they both shared. It's no wonder Sumire felt the need to gain Kawaki's trust. She sensed some sort of solidarity with someone who went through a hard life in relatively peaceful times.

"I didn't see you in Konoha shopping district in a while little mechanic girl." Kawaki whistled some strange tune saying his greetings.

"It wouldn't hurt you to say sometimes my name. I always am open to small changes." Sumire stretched out trying to relax.

"Ain't you usually busy?" Kawaki had his usual bored expression.

"I have a day off today. Want to go with me admire the beautiful lake near the village?" Sumire question was answered by his grumbling that she interpreted as 'yes'.

The view just like she heard was really breathtaking. Clear azure lake, trees surrounding the landscape, chirping birds and presence of not many people made this place ideal for making her more relaxed.

"Sumire." That's why Kawaki sudden use of her name startled her. The moment he did it was the moment she was caught off guard.

"Yes?" It was her automatic response.

"You're still a little mechanic girl. Calling you by name or not ain't changing that." She thought he wanted to talk about something serious, but it turned out to be his attempt to mislead her!

"I'm more mature than you think!" She went into her memorised response.

They closed the distance between each other at the same time. Sumire spaced out for a moment but before she noticed she and Kawaki was sharing a passionate kiss. She didn't have any idea who kissed who first, but at this point, she just enjoyed the thrill of it.

Both of them were wrestling with each other for a while before landing into more intimate position. Taking short breaks to catch a breath between kissing didn't stop their fight for dominance over the other.

When Sumire thought the winner of her internal fight with Kawaki will be decided by moving a few steps further, she heard familiar footsteps.

"I can't believe Sasuke won popularity contest for the coolest looking dad of the year!" Lord Seventh shouted accidentally walking into them and seeing quite an intimate position the youngsters were in.

Sumire distanced herself from Kawaki that send an angry glare towards Lord Seventh.

"Did I interrupt something?" Naruto Uzumaki let out a nervous chuckle. He wanted to appear as cool guy in front of his adopted son.

"N-No, not at all! I-I was just checking if Kawaki's mecha-hand is working without any problems." Sumire lied in her panic.

"She's my mechanic, after all, ain't she?" Kawaki lied to Lord Seventh appearing to be calm, but Sumire could tell he was equally confused by the whole situation.

"Is that so? I suppose every person feels the spring of youth just like says Rock Lee, even if it's overwhelming sometimes, ya know?" Naruto concluded scratching the back of his head.

This certainly was awkward. After a short explanation from Lord Seventh that killed the mood Sumire was in, she decided to head back home saying some sort of excuse she already forgot.

Now she couldn't define the relationship she shared with Kawaki at all. Friends weren't kissing each other in the way they did. They weren't dating either. Love wasn't out of the question, but with the type of person, Kawaki is expecting any sort of confession when they were both confused about their feelings wasn't the best course of action.

It'll take a lot of patience to define the relationship she has with Kawaki, but Sumire was alright with that. Some people need more time than others to sort out their emotions. Kawaki acknowledged her as his mechanic in front of Lord Seventh.

For now, it's enough she's his mechanic.

#Sumire Kakei #Kawaki #KawaSumi #Akita #Katasuke #OneShot #AU #KawakixSumire #Naruto Uzumaki #Romance #Slow romance

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the-sky-fell-blossoms · 6 years ago

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Not as Easy the Second Time Round [NESTR] (Part 2)

I found myself at work after that intrusion. It was a welcome distraction after baring myself in front of a stranger. There was only one person I'd ever consider thinking about doing something so unnecessary with, and he was proving to be exceptionally hard to get in touch with.

Jihuyn always made it a habit of probing me for anything on my mind. No matter how irrelevant it may be to me in my opinion. He’s always had accurate hunches in regards to how I was feeling, often before I even began to feel it myself. Now, when I've never been more confused, it was morbidly poetic he's nowhere to be seen. I constantly found myself in need of one of our talks. One without a tape recorder and false pleasantries. Jihuyn would tell me everything wrong with me. Give me vague and sentimental advice, I wouldn't know where to begin with following. He'd pat my shoulder and smile warmly. Although debatably useless, the comfort from the teal haired man made up for that in leaps and bounds.

I, in return, would let Jihyun know when he's being too emotional. Give a practical approach to the problems the soft-hearted Jihuyn put himself into. Tell him point-blank he's being stubborn or ridiculous. Ironically it was him who was the more close-minded out of the two of us. I would relent when proven wrong. Jihuyn often chose to hang on tighter to his own stance and dig himself into a worse situation than necessary.

I sighed, or maybe it was a groan. Even a glass of wine wasn't taking the edge off tonight.

Usually, on nights like these, I'd open the Chatroom. I'd open the app and there'd be a new update waiting for me. Luciel insisted that maintenance was his highest priority, he would never let work get in the way. Years ago he claimed not to be a liar nor fool when it came to things so serious as a possible threat. I would take every update as proof as such. Although annoying when I was planning on sharing an update of my own to Assistant Kang and inappropriate when something important needed to be discussed regarding the RFA. It was at least a testimony that Luciel did take his responsibility for the RFA seriously.

I didn't tonight however, I was spending less and less time online. I remained oblivious to this fact until I was graced with a call from MC. Claiming everyone was concerned by my disappearance. More so than Yoosung's.

That made sense. What right did I have to mourn more than someone who's lost both their best friend and their cousin in the same year? Luciel was someone I met who happened to share a common goal. Although, the RFA was a family and treated themselves as such. To Luciel they must have had such an estranged relationship. Second to none but the one the redhead shared with my own Assistant.

The connection Luciel had with Yoosung, it was palpable. You saw it in both of their eyes, although they held vastly different things. I often prided myself on being able to read those around me. It was obvious there was more there. The subtext in Yoosung's words. There was no way the older of the two missed that. I was certain even the newcomer MC felt it after only a day although she said nothing. It would have been a pleasant relationship. Luciel would have never smiled more than teasing Yoosung for kisses and hugs, Yoosung would have accepted whatever he felt without looking back and made him feel that he was needed at every turn.

I stared down at my drink in deep thought. Yoosung indeed had better justification in his mourning. I'll have to make a note to pay him a visit. Perhaps out to dinner. Yoosung would never refuse an invitation to free food. Maybe while out I'll take the opportunity to talk to him about working for me in the near future. Luciel would be pleased to know the blonde wasn't left to wallow on his own again. When Rika left us, Luciel was away with work, not returning until just before the funeral. His return mere days before and he didn’t even seem aware of the passing. He immediately asked for Yoosung. They drove together to the funeral later that week. Comforted him, or at least attempted to after he got into a screaming match with his mother at the reception. There was only one time that entire night he ever left the boy’s side. It was to speak with Jihyun and I.

Everything today went back to one of the two. Jihuyn… Luciel. My thoughts recently indulged in clear bias. It is hard not to think about them, however. When Rika passed and Jihuyn started his disappearance act, it was the same.

The only difference is I’m not as sure I should be mourning at all. At first, I did, blinded by loss and the news that Luciel had not been retrieved when Prime Minister Choi was brought into custody. All I could think was the worst. Everything was spinning and it was as if I was suffocating. Luciel was gone. The man I watched grow all those years. He was taken from us. I stood there trying not to let emotions, I didn't know were coming, take over. My breath through my nose short and hectic.

It had, indeed, been a hard time.

But after a week, I got a sudden call from Yoosung. Whatever spirited him to do such a thing was beyond me. What willed me to answer, even more so. "You… Understand. I saw it on your face. Seven always teased that reading you was easy if you get a feel for how you looked when you actually couldn't care less. And Venn diagrammed your faces. I didn't get it, but then… at that moment when they told us… I think I got it."

I said nothing. What Luciel joked about to Yoosung was none of my concern, nor why. How you would even go about following his inane instructions wasn't at all a can of worms I wanted to indulge in either. How I came up in conversation. There were no topics to touch on. I wanted no part in acting like a widow, reminiscing. I didn't want to remember.

"I really miss him…" I steadied my breathing, that week I had buried myself in my work and pathetically called Jihyun. Perhaps by the hour. "He always said he'd be gone, that- that he might not make it to see the end of the year." Yoosung was crying, I couldn't bring myself to end the conversation or change the subject. I sat there at my desk like a fool listening to the boy bare his heart to me in some desperate attempt for connection. "He always said not to worry, that we should keep going, be happy, and keep going even if… I just miss him so much."

"I do too." I do not know what possessed me to say that, but I kept going. "No one could have known this was going to happen. Not even Luciel." Had he known he wouldn't have been taken.

"No." He chuckled, even through a sob, "he just thought he was talking about leaving forever. I told him we'd help him, everyone in the RFA would. If anything happened. But we couldn't. We tried, everyone, even Saeran. So why…"

I paused at this. "He… was very adamant about protecting everyone no matter what. Were something to happen, he'd take any measure."

"Yeah…"

After that, I let him go on about anything that came to mind, classes, how everyone was keeping up, Saeran. I didn't say much at all, but he seemed not to notice. Or perhaps he didn't care. He didn't come to me when Rika had her time, and Jihuyn would have mentioned it if he had given him the same treatment I was receiving. He said i understood, that he saw. But even in retrospect, I have nothing to have any kind of understanding on.

It was troublesome to dwell on. But I'd be forever thankful for that call. It gave me some kind of hope. Luciel had training, means and years of resources. They had not found a body and Prime Minister Choi had admitted to nothing.

I reminded myself of this, though foolish to keep faith in such a small, minute, possibility. It was a possibility. Until the day I identify a body. It's a possibility.

It is a possibility I found myself resigned too. I am not personally one for betting, but Luciel proved himself to always be a safe one.

…………

He was there again, this time by himself. He stood in the door frame in a hoodie that seemed much too big for him. It did nothing to make him seem more comfortable or fool the CEO into thinking he wanted to be here. If anything he looked like he was barely holding in a sigh when the man opened the door. He was tired but tried hard not to slouch, his expression cold and unimpressed by the other. Which was not unwarranted, Jumin had just gotten home from work and was reasonably disheveled. Company had not been on his mind that night. Though from the other’s expression it probably wasn’t on his either. He stepped out of the way wordlessly and let the smaller male in, pulling at his tie with intentions of removal, preferably. He’ll regret his lack of manners later, after he had a drink. The silent gesture luckily didn’t go unnoticed, after a moment his guest stepped in and made a B-line for the couch. For the best.

Jumin stepped back in and went to the kitchen to fetch what seemed to be two minutes overdue. “Is there anything you would like? I remember you had opted out of a glass last time you were over.” He said pouring a glass for himself. Fortunately, his fatigue had not made him forget all manners.

“No.” He looked over through his wire glasses. His golden eyes just as piercing from here. They kept eye contact for a short while before Jumin pulled away and sat with him across the couch, bottle and glass in hand. He seemed to tense as the ravenette got closer. Watching as if there was a chance he’d pounce at any second, Jumin made no reaction to this, however, simply taking off his jacket and sitting down with practiced elegance. He still felt the other’s eyes on him but he simply sat quietly and put his drink to his lips.

They sat like that for a while, Jumin didn’t mind, however. It was perhaps what he was going to do anyway, he was thankful that he wasn’t being distracted from his alone time. Luciel seemed more than happy to sit there and stare until dismissed, and while he did not want it, the company was not despised. He was most likely in a good mood or maybe just in the mood to drink and be stared at.

By his third drink, however, Luciel seemed antsy. And while Jumin usually couldn’t care less normally. He was feeling talkative, and he was interested as to why the boy paid him a visit tonight. The wine doing its job of loosening him up.

“Why are you here?” Didn’t mean he was any less blunt, however. He still kept in the back of his mind that Luciel was a guest but all parts of his mind slipped into parts they didn’t belong. Constantly fixing the leaks before talking is a skill he is well versed in though.

He nodded his head as if thinking of how to answer, his curly bangs shifting lightly over his hooped glasses. He seemed pensive, as if he really didn’t want to say the wrong thing, somehow sitting up straighter, his hand gripping at the velvet of the couch. “V said I should see you. I don’t really know why.” He cut himself off prematurely. He obviously had more to say. Jumin was getting a better feel for the boy, or at least when he was uncomfortable, a constant state for the boy. But he seemed well adapt to silence. So Jumin just took another drink and decided it was best to continue.

“I spoke to V shortly on my way home. The conversation had no real subject, but he seemed interested in when I got in. I should have suspected something sooner... “ It was a short conversation, Jihyun hung up as soon as he got the estimate. There was really no time to question his behavior. “

“I believe he wants us to bond for some unforeseen cause.”

“Perhaps I’m secretly a clone gone wrong, or an illegitimate child.” The redhead mutters to himself, in all honesty, Jumin was surprised he answered at all. He finished his glass and hummed in thought at the statement.

“Well, there was this one time I decided to indulge in a commoner stylist. There is no telling what they did with the snippets… and there was the one time when I was five and had my first sip of wine… That night was rather blurry. How old are you again?”

“I’m 17…” Jumin looked him over. He looked much younger than that. He almost didn’t believe him. Luciel hardly seemed surprised at someone openly studying him. “My birthday is pretty soon.”

“Ah, sometime in the summer?”

“Yeah…” He seemed uncomfortable, whether it was about his age or his birthday, wasn’t certain, but Jumin took note. Leaning forward towards him Jumin squinted as if looking for something he found in the other’s eyes after a moment.

“So it’s possible.” He whispered as if telling him a secret.

Luciel blinked caught off guard for a moment. Jumin could tell the second the joke had registered in his head. The beginning of a smile ghosted over the smaller male’s lips before he turned away and muffled a laugh, which was also taken into note by the older man. After a pause, he turned back once again expressionless. “Very.” In one word he lost all the tension in his shoulders. Oddly enough, Jumin also felt himself lean back.

No, he didn’t mind the unexpected company at all. He’d sooner die than admit this to Jihyun, alcohol speaking or not.

#Mystic messenger #mm jumin #mm luciel #juciel #jumin x Luciel #jumin x 707 #jumin han #luciel choi

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ryuuppai · 7 years ago

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[GBF] The four knights of "GBF" speak their thoughts around the table! A limited-time character interview for Golden Week!

From the social game "Granblue Fantasy" by Cygames. In PASH!2018 January Volume 1, we have conducted an interview with the "four knights" who are currently working in various places to relieve the crisis of the fallen land.

To shed the light on their respective personalities, we have gotten these comrades who know each other well to talk around the table, and we are publishing this special PASH!PLUS interview during Golden Week, from April 30 to May 6, for one week only! To those who missed it, by all means so check it out during that time♪

In addition, we are conducting a survey among readers of the wildly popular PASH! magazine about projects for "GBF." Please tell us what other projects or characters you would like to hear about in the future!!

The form for the survey is over here!

Isn't everyone praising each other too much!? A relationship where they acknowledge each other's strengths

ー Please introduce yourselves to the readers. Please state your ages as well!

Lancelot: Hello everyone, I am the captain of the Order of the White Dragons who protect the kingdom of Feendrache, Lancelot. I am 27 years old.

Vane: Hi everyone, I'm Vane! Um... I'm 25 years old, and I'm also part of the Order of the White Dragons, just like Lan-chan, as the vice-captain!

Siegfried: Hm... I'm next? I'm Siegfried. I used to work as the captain of the Black Dragons, the predecessor to the White Dragons. Due to some circumstances, I am currently moving from place to place across the land. ....My age? How old was I again...?

Percival: Aren't you 32? Wait wait... Please explain these circumstances first. Who do you think the readers are?

Lancelot: Now now Percival, we don't have much time, so I told you not to mind the fine details.

Vane: Wahahaha! Per-san is really a serious person huh~!

Percival: Give me a break... You guys are the ones who've got something wrong, glossing over these things. Don't you think so, Siegfried?

Siegfried: Hm...? Percival, it's your turn.

Percival: Tch... Fine... I'm Percival, I formerly worked as the vice-captain of the Order of the Black Dragons. Right now, I am travelling to find a distinguished retainer who could give birth to the ideal country. I'm 27 years old.

ー Please let us hear about your impressions of each other. Please speak honestly about what you'd like to learn from each other, or what you'd like each other to work on. Let's start with Lancelot-san.

Vane: (Raising his hand fervently) Alright! Lan-chan is a knight who always thinks about the Order and the people of the land before he acts! I really admire the fact that even after becoming captain, he's been pursuing his studies and his training everyday! I'd like to learn from someone who works hard like that. As to what I'd like him to work on... H~m, there's nothing in particular!

Lancelot: ...Hey hey Vane, no matter how you look at it, you're praising me to much.

Vane: No, I just said what I really think! You're really doing your best, Lan-chan!

Lancelot: Th-, thanks Vane.

Percival: ...Even if we get to hear about your childhood stories, we won't make any progress by now. Siegfried, what about you?

Siegfried: Sure... I really think that Lancelot is doing well. The way he trusts his comrades and cooperates well with them is a strength of his that I'd like to learn from. I'd like you to keep working together with your comrades like that to bring the Order forward, from now on.

Lancelot: Yes!! Thank you!! Siegfried-san!!

Siegfried: So... Percival, what do you think about that?

Percival: Hm. There's nothing in particular to say to Lancelot as a capta(in)-

Lancelot: Huh~, is that so~. How unexpected~!

Percival: Wait, I'm not done talking! Work on your crude manners a bit more, that way your level of dignity will...

Lancelot: Alright, got it! Thanks!

Vane: But listen even though you say that~, shouldn't you learn from Lan-chan's composure, Per-san?

Percival: Yeah... I'll learn from you guys' carefreeness. Next, next.

ー Next, let us hear about your impressions of Vane-san.

Lancelot: (Suddenly coming forward enthusiastically) Can I just... say something? If I had to put Vane's essence as a human being in one word, it'd be "a person of love." Not only is he loved by his fellow knights, the townspeople also love him. I find that pleasant for Vane, just as if it were about myself. He cares for others without discriminating. I'd like to learn from his gentle way of approaching life and others. Lately, he's been supporting the Order magnificently as our vice-captain, so I don't have anything in particular that I'd like him to change, either.

Vane: (Tears falling) ... (sob) ... (sob) ... Lan-chan... I-, I, I'm so happy to be praised by you like this~!

Lancelot: What are you saying? Everyone here thinks the same.

Percival: Yeah, he's right. ...As expected of the mutt. It feels like caring after a dumb dog who wags his tail and comes snuggle up to just about anyone.

Vane: Uuu~! Why~! What about me reminds you of a dog?!

Percival: Just like that, he immediately bares his fangs and barks.

Lancelot: Hey hey you two, don't fight in the middle of an interview...

Percival: Tch...

Vane: Puuuuuff!

Siegfried: I see, they're more alike than you'd think.

Lancelot: Huh...? What do you mean, Siegfried-san?

Siegfried: Come on, it's so simple. Don't they always become closer everytime they fight? Don't you two get into fights like that, and then play around because you get along in the first place?

Vane: That's not it!

Percival: It's not!

Siegfried: Heh... They even breathe in synch.

Lancelot: Hahaha! Turns out you guys do get along, somehow.

Percival: Stop that Lancelot!

Vane: Stop it Lan-chan!

Siegfried: Is that what you call dancing to the same beat... Hm, we should also learn from them, right Lancelot?

Lancelot: Yes! Siegfried-san!

Percival & Vane: (In synch) I've had enough! Next!

ー (Laughs). Now then, let us hear about Percival-san.

Lancelot: He's the most serious one among us.

Vane: Yeah-, that's right that's right! It's easy to make plans when Per-san is there!

Siegfried: He's reliable because he's well-put together.

Percival: ...Hey, why are my comments strangely plain?

Lancelot: Huuh, they're not though? Right, Vane?

Vane: Yeah, the others were like this too, weren't they?

Siegfried: (Smiling gently)

Percival: Tch... If you guys don't answer these well, it'll cause trouble when the interview will be made into an article. Isn't there anything else you want to learn from me? You can even tell me what you want me to work on?

Lancelot: That thing that thing! The way you're so serious! I want to learn from that!

Percival: You already told me I was serious, just now. Don't I leave any other impression, aside from being serious?

Vane: Pft... Huhu... Wahahahah! I might want to learn how to butt into jokes like that too! Per-san, you're really funny huh~!

Percival: (Lighting on fire) Pft... It seems that for someone like this mutt to make fun of me, they must want to turn into charcoal...

Vane: (Prostrating himself in apology) Waaaah! Sorry for getting carried away! But, please work on how you immediately burn up once you get angry, Percival-sama!!

Percival: Don't move from there...

Lancelot: Vane! Leave it to me and run away quick!

Siegfried: (Smiling gently) Can I say something?

Percival: ...What?

Siegfried: Percival, there is no one who knows about your noble way of life more than we, here, do. But they do say that fish cannot live in clear water (1), so your noble mind may get people to keep you at an arm's length, and keep their distances from you.

Percival: Hm... I know that.

Siegfried: In other words, it means that you should learn to become as loving as Lancelot and Vane to avoid becoming isolated.

Percival: Yeah... Let's stop talking about me. It's your turn next, Siegfried.

Vane: (Th-, Thanks for saving me~!)

Lancelot: (As expected of you! Siegfried-san!)

ー What are your impressions of Siegfried-san?

Lancelot: Siegfried-san is... For me, he is someone who drilled into my mind everything that a knight should learn, like a teacher. It's... I can't put it into simple words. He's a really important person to me. He's like a wall that I cannot go over even to this day, so it's not only that I want to learn from his overwhelming strength as a person, but he's also someone that I strive to surpass one day. I hold that as a goal.

Siegfried: Heh... It's pretty embarassing when you say it like this. Lancelot, I think that you can stand on your own well enough. It's an honor that you're so conscious of my presence like this, but don't forget that as the captain of your Order, you're also in a position where people gaze at your back.

Lancelot: Yes, I am aware of that. Just like you, I am also always thinking of how I should act in order to influence others positively.

Siegfried: In that case, I have nothing more to say. Isn't there anything you want me to work on?

Lancelot: Ahahah... Things I'd like you to work on huh... If I must pick something, I guess the fact that you decide things on your own without consulting us?

Siegfried: ...You really hit me where it hurts, huh. I'll be careful about that, from now on.

Lancelot: Yes! Thank you.

Vane: Please allow me to speak next. When I didn't know how I should fight alongside Lan-chan, you were someone who trained me and taught me about self-confidence. I am greatly indebted to you, Siegfried-san. You're warm and gentle, your presence is kind of like that of a father, or actually like a mother... wait what am I saying! Um... Anyways, it's thanks to your guidance when I was still unexperienced that I am the vice-captain that I am now. The fact that I've become able to think that it's okay for me to fight alongside everyone is all thanks to you, Siegfried-san. Thank you so much!

Siegfried: Vane, I should be the one thanking you. Seeing you being so earnest reminded me of my initial resolutions. I get to hear about your remarkable efforts once in a while, but they make me happy as if they were my own.

Vane: Uooooooh-! I'm way too happy to hear that from you, Siegfried-san!

Siegfried: Heh... You really exaggerate things. That said, don't you have something you want me to work on, as well?

Vane: Hmm~... The thing I want you to work on is the same one that Lan-chan brought up, but I guess I think it'd be nice if you could depend on us more too.

Siegfried: Ah, got it... I'll keep it in mind.

Vane: Please do! We've become strong enough to even fight along your side!

Siegfried: ...I'm glad. I'll look forward to it, Vane.

Percival: Seems like I'm last. Right... When I left the Wales, from the neighbouring country, to join the Order of the Black Dragons in Feendrache, you were my superior as an officer. Your outstanding strength was enough to shake up my idea of what strength was, that I had up until then.

Siegfried: ...Percival, the first time I met you, it's true that you overflowed with real abilities that were reinforced by your confidence. Like that, you wore an aura that conveyed that you wanted to approach me somehow.

Percival: We're not talking about me right now. Rather...

Siegfried: What would you like me to work on?

Percival: Aah... Right. It's what we've been saying repeatedly, but also do something about your lack of concern for your personal appearance.

Siegfried: Hm... But I've been working on it a bit lately, haven't I?

Percival: That's because we happened to be around. I'm saying that you should do so when you're on your own too.

Siegfried: Got it. I'll engrave it into my guts.

Percival: As long as you know. As for me, I'm done talking.

Siegfried: Good grief, you haven't been sparing me lately, huh. Though, it was fun talking with you guys like this, today. This kind of opportunity is something we should be thankful for.

Lancelot: Yes!

Vane: I think so too!

Percival: Hm...

Siegfried: Well then, we're done with your talk. Will this be alright?

ー Yes, thank you!

Throwing in some private topics as well!

ー Please let us hear about some particularly memorable episode from your times together.

Lancelot: Maybe that time when we went to the Auguste resorts together, last summer!

Vane: It was so much fun playing around on the beach~! Ah, I was also surprised that Per-san isn't good with crabs!

Percival: It's not that I'm not good. I was just on guard because an unfamiliar crustacean suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

Vane: There you go again~! Playing tough~!

Percival: (Turns to Vane)

Vane: Okaay! I'm sorry!

Siegfried: Heh... That time when we all went to watch the fireworks festival (2) together was also nice.

Lancelot: Yes! Watching the fireworks bloom into the firmament was truly wonderful!

Siegfried: I really want to go with everyone again.

ー When you are in private, what do you usually talk about? Please tell us if you talked about anything exciting, lately.

Lancelot: Lately, following the entrance exam for the Order of the White Dragons, some new apprentices have joined the Order. They're the talk of the town, right now.

Vane: Yeah, that's right! Arthur and Mordred wanted to meet Siegfried-san and Per-san too! If that's possible, it'd be nice if you could train them, next time!

Percival: Oh... So they're the ones who passed that exam that Lancelot did trial-and-error at.

Lancelot: Yeah, you'd helped me a lot, that time.

Percival: Heh... This is another rare chance. Let's ascertain what those guys have in them.

Vane: What about you, Siegfried-san?

Siegfried: Sure, got it. I'll train them next time I stop by the royal capital.

Lancelot: Thank you!

ー Please tell us about something that you were excited about, lately.

Lancelot: I guess finding something precious that I thought I'd lost!

Vane: When one of our subordinates had a child! Yeah~, that was really wonderful!

Percival: Hearing a musical performance from someone I'm close to, who's part of an orchestra.

Siegfried: The fact that a small flower bloomed from the plant I cared for.

ー What would you say is the best dish in the entire universe?

Lancelot: I'd say Vane's cooking?

Vane: Hey hey Lan-chan! Saying it's the best in the entire universe is too much!

Lancelot: No, I really think your cooking is worth praising that much. Right, Percival?

Percival: For me, I guess the seafood dishes that I ate in Auguste.

Siegfried: Heh... I wonder who it was that praised Vane's cooking at that one evening party?

Percival: Hey! Siegfried!!

Siegfried: I also like Vane's cooking best.

Vane: Uuu... uuuu... Thank you. To think that everyone would praise my cooking... Uooh!! I could cry! From now on, I'll keep serving you my dishes, enough to fill all of your stomachs!

ー What did you do to play, when you were children?

Lancelot: When I was a kid... I'd often run around the hills and fields with Vane.

Vane: Together with Lan-chan, I'd play in the nature, like catching bugs or fishing!

Percival: I used to receive training from my older brothers. I'd also go pick fruits, or appreciate the fine arts, things like that.

Siegfried: When I was a kid, huh... Before I realized it, I don't remember anything aside from exterminating spirits.

ー Finally, please say a few words to the readers of PASH!.

Lancelot: Thank you for keeping us company up until now! I'll look forward to meeting with you, the readers of PASH!, one day! Or is it possible that we're already travelling under the sky together? Please keep supporting us, from now on!

Vane: Hehe, thanks for giving us the opportunity to talk spontaneously like this, today! When we meet again somewhere, I'll buy you a meal so please do call out to me! When that happens, please let me hear about all your stories at ease!

Percival: Hm... We reached the end without ever explaining the circumstances, but that's alright. Some distinguished retainers might assemble thanks to this, after all. On my part, I'll be waiting for your applications. Let's build the ideal country together.

Siegfried: Hm... The readers of "pash" (3) right? It was a rare chance to get to know the readers of "pash" like this. If any spirits appear nearby, I'll be exterminating them for you, so I'd like it if you called me without restraint. Anyhow, see you.

ー Thank you!

T/N

(1) "Fish cannot live in clear water" (水清ければ魚棲まず / mizu kiyokereba sakana sumazu): It's a saying that means that when the water is clear, the plankton which the fish feed on cannot reproduce itself, and there is nowhere for the fish to hide from predators or nest. Siegfried is saying that although Percival has a clear conscience because of his noble mind, it can backfire.

(2) A reference to his yukata card. He mentions that they went to watch the fireworks on the beach in his homescreen lines.

(3) Although the magazine's name is usually written as PASH! in roman letters, it is written in hiragana in Siegfried's speech (ぱっしゅ / passhu), indicating that he's not sure what it is, but they're pronounced the same so the meaning comes across.

This was a commissioned translation. Original article is here.

I have never played GBF myself, so I have translated this to the best of my ability with the help of the commissioner, and also through my own research about the game, but please let me know if some romanizations or technical terms differ from the official English translations!

#granblue fantasy #dragon knights #PASH!#translation

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blackjacketmuses · 6 years ago

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13-26, odds for Nagito, evens for Kokichi?

Woo, okay!

13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed?

Nagito is...like I’ve said before, his default state is very anxious and paranoid about the world in general. He’s a nervous person thanks to his luck and the disasters it can cause, and he tends to expect the worst out of most situations, or at least always prepares himself for every thing that could go wrong. That’s...basically every circumstance and every subject, especially when things are going really well. The better things seem, the more anxious he is, because in his experience good cannot come without there being bad first.

Though he...doesn’t tend to express this much, because he thinks that he’d be an imposition if he puts his insignificant burdens on other people. He does tend to rather...calmly talk about all the possible outcomes of situations, and doesn’t seem to outwardly be affected by his worries, even if it’s a constant thing he thinks about.

14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

Kokichi’s...very morally flexible. He lies a lot, and he learned very early that if you want something, you gotta do what you gotta do to get it. You can’t rely on other people to help, so you have to be ready to do just about anything you need to. And for fun? He’ll do what he likes to get a reaction out of people, he’s very willing to pull shit just to get reactions without much scruples. However, if you have earned his trust - a rare and incredible thing - he’s deeply loyal and will defend you with all those questionable morals.

However, he draws a very hard, uncompromising line against physically harming or killing anyone. He refuses to allow that in anyone around him, and he refuses to do it himself. Anyone who has killed or hurt people, especially for fun or without any good reason, he’ll hate on principle, and have a hard time losing that bias.

15. What kind of inner life do they have — rich and imaginative? Calculating and practical? Full of doubts and fears? Does it find any sort of outlet in their lives?

Oof, of course, Nagito’s inner life is very much very fearful and doubting. He’s very nervous on the inside, not to mention full of self-loathing. He’s a mess, very disorganized and scared and angry at himself all the time -- very brilliant and determined, however, and once he has a goal he’ll press on full force towards it. But that’s...usually, he’s just generally a mess, and doesn’t necessarily usually have any kind of outlet to express any of it healthily. So it bleeds out at weird times and makes him come off as very strange and weird.

16. Do they dream? What are those dreams like?

Kokichi does! A lot of his dreams are wacky and strange, very out there-- he figures his interests shape those, like anime and supervillains and all that. But he does also sometimes have nightmares about dying and watching people die, and that just got a hell of a lot worse after the game show.

17. Are they more shaped by nature or nurture — who they are, or what has happened to them? How have these shaped who they’ve become as a person?

Nagito is absolutely shaped by nurture. Tragedy hit his life very young, and started just constantly hammering him with pain and disaster and good things in a cycle that started when he was still in elementary school or younger -- there was no time for him to develop without that in his life.

His cycle of disaster-blessing-disaster-blessing shaped him entirely. It gave him his obsession with hope -- there has to be hope after despair, good after bad, that’s what life has taught him, so he needs to cling to that hope or else be lost -- it gave him his abysmal self-esteem -- it’s all but stated outright everyone he gets close to gets killed by his luck so that’s going to cause problems -- and more directly, his bad luck gave him his brain disease, which also heavily influences his personality.

Without his luck, he would absolutely not be who he is now.

18. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst, most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequences might they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

Kokichi...well, I think he could end up being a pretty interesting person! He’s already proven to be absolutely brilliant, a genius at reading situations and making plans and solving mysteries, capable of making moves three paces in advance of most other people, and with a lack of morals that lets him do a lot more than most people would dare. But at the same time, he’s very strongly against killing and hurting others, and is willing to shoulder a lot of hate and distrust to protect others -- and he’s fiercely loyal to the people he cares about.

If he were to work out his trust issues and open up to people, and really start working with others...he could probably honestly end up a supreme leader in truth, not just of DICE -- and honestly, it’s debatable whether any real life secret organization would be evil. Underneath the veneer he puts up of being a villain, he’s a pretty damn good dark grey anti-hero.

Whatever he does, though, he has the potential to be great.

19. How do they behave within a group? What role(s) do they take? Does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? Why?

Nagito doesn’t like groups. He tries to avoid large groups of people as a general rule, because the more people he interact with, the more dangers there are because of him. The more things can happen. But if he has to work with others, depending on who they are...well, even in normal situations he doesn’t like to take charge, but he will if he decides no one else is capable of it. But among Ultimates, he’ll reflexively fade into the background because he has no right to outshine anyone there. He can’t stop his urges to be helpful either way, though, and tends to end up doing a lot of legwork and effort into anything and everything he can do, above and beyond. He desires very deeply to be useful to people, and that drive gets things done.

The difference comes in how he presents his results -- if it’s people he believes he’s more capable than, he’ll just be honest (and just a little condescending) about it, very straightforward and spell it out. If it’s other Ultimates, though, like we see in SDR2, he’ll be a lot more subtle in how he pushes people and leads them to information, because he doesn’t think he deserves to be the star, so he’ll nudge others into catching up to him.

The better he knows you, though, the more likely it is he’ll be willing to work as...not equals, but he’ll be less avoidant or condescending about things.

20. What kind of individual relationships do they have with others, and how do they behave in them? How are they different between intimate relationships like friends, family, and lovers versus more impersonal relationships?

Kokichi isn’t good at most interpersonal relationships! He has a lot of trust issues, and he’s not good at being...honest or serious in most situations, so he tends to make more enemies than friends, or at least most people tend to think he’s very annoying at best. He pushes buttons deliberately, to the point where he has a very, very hard time turning it off.

But if you manage to get through that, he’s...very clingy and affectionate and still teasing! But a more gentle, good-natured teasing. He has a hard time trusting people, but in friend/family relationships, once he decides you’re in that category, he’s still annoying, but in a more....tolerable way. He doesn’t want to lose what he’s gotten, so he tones it down when he really cares about someone.

His friends are very carefully curated -- honestly, his only friends are the other kids from the Game, because you don’t go through that and not be friends -- and his family took a long time to be warmed up to, but they get to see a softer and more genuine side to him not many other people get.

21. What kind of relationships do they tend to intentionally seek out versus actually cultivate? What kind of social contact do they prefer, and why?

He doesn’t...ha, relationships. Honestly, if Nagito had his way at this point he’d be an actual hermit. He doesn’t want other relationships anymore, because people who attach to him die. Not that people do that anyway as his symptoms have gotten worse, because of how strange and off-putting he comes across.

However, to be completely honest, he is desperately lonely despite the fear he has, and he wants friends. He wants people to sit and speak with him about nothing in particular, to just...spend time with him, even doing nothing, just so he isn’t alone. He isn’t picky, and he’s even okay with not being understood entirely. He just...he wants someone to try. Even if he knows he might panic and push back harder if someone deliberately reaches out-- he wants someone to try to understand him, so he isn’t alone. So...while he doesn’t intentionally seek out relationships -- the reverse, really -- he...wants people that will try.

22. How do people respond to them, and why might these responses differ?

Kokichi is...people tend to hate him or be deeply annoyed by him -- he actively encourages it -- and respond with anger or annoyance or frustration or a deep desire to strangle him or punch him in the face. This is intentional.

If he gets a response that differs -- if people don’t take his shit and try to deal with him calmly or in a friendly manner no matter how hard he pushes...well, he has very little idea how to handle that, so it might be the best response.

23. How do they respond to difficult social moments? What makes them consider a social situation difficult?

Nagito is...well, thanks to his brain disease 99% of all social situations are very difficult. He can’t read social cues well, and he has very little real experience with a lot of situations anyway thanks to how little interaction he allows himself with others, so he tends to be lost most of the time when interacting with people.

So he’s just...himself, most of the time. That tends to mean he says whatever comes to mind with no pause to consider how to phrase it properly, and has little filter on things or judgement on what not to say. He’ll back off if explicitly told he’s saying/doing something wrong -- though he’s not likely to get why -- and go quiet, but usually he’s very helpful and enthusiastic and intense, and...he struggles to understand when he does something wrong, so mistakes happen a lot.

24. How do they present themselves socially? What distinguishes their “persona” from their “true self”, and what causes that difference?

Kokichi’s persona of the lying little bastard who has no qualms about a lot of stuff and laughs and giggles and jokes and takes nothing seriously, or flips to being cruel and threatening and mocking...while it is close to his true self, he’s actually a bit softer than that. He doesn’t like being outright mean to people, more interested in good fun and pranks unless you deserve being fucked with, and he’s a lot more...sincere about things. And sweeter, in an odd way.

He just has way too many trust issues and anxiety over being betrayed or abandoned to let people in, and it’s easier to cope if he doesn’t take things seriously, so he doesn’t. It’s just a lot easier to be that persona.

25. What do they need and want out of relationships, and how do they go about getting it?

What Nagito wants? The bare basics of a good relationship: be nice to him, treat him with respect, care about him, and don’t leave him alone. That’s it. He doesn’t even expect to be understood, so long as you’re kind to him and don’t leave him.

And while he does need that, yes, he also needs...more than that. He needs someone to try and understand him, to acknowledge where he has problems and what he can’t understand, and help him. He needs someone -- friends or otherwise -- to work with him and help him in the areas where his condition impairs him, his judgement and his social interactions etc. He needs people who will be his friend no matter what comes out of his mouth, and people who he can rely on to tell him what not to do or say, people who can act as his judgement and be the parts of himself he doesn’t have.

He needs people to care about him, and he needs a support system.

26. How do they view and feel about relationships, and how might this manifest in how they handle them, if it does?

Again, Kokichi has major trust issues and is very bad at dropping his persona for people, but the relationships he does manage to build? They’re incredibly important to him, and even if he’s cautious about things going south, he values his friends and family a great deal. He’s very...careful about them at first? Tests the water to know for sure how far he can go with his usual antics, and once he figures out the line he makes sure never to cross it. Makes sure his antics are tolerated in the first place, because you will actively lose his trust or friendship if you try to force him to stop or change or if you’re too strict with what he’s allowed to do. He needs some leeway, and he will test it very hard, but once he’s confident, he’ll behave better; he just needs reassurance he can still be himself with you before he can relax.

#;hc: kokichi #;hc: komaeda #multiimuse

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abnahaya · 7 years ago

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toxic small talks

Before we get to the the point, let me tell you the context of this post. So, it's a holiday season in Indonesia, Eid Al Fitr and school holiday happen at the same time, plus the government decide to give longer public holidays this year. This situation causes people to travel to their hometowns; and for us Indonesians, hometown sometimes doesn't actually mean a town, mostly it's a place(s) where our family (the big one) is originated from; so yes, it can be more than just one place. In this occasion, we are expected to reunite with our, once again, big families in order to tighten the family bond. I've been talking with my friends and also reading on the internet about this back-to-home ground experiences, and not very surprisingly, I find a lot of things in common; or should I say one big common in many forms. Annoyance, uncomfort, sometimes ill-manner which leads to the concern of the needs of new approach in small talks.

So far, I can only think of two general types of common small talks in Indonesia, specially in the family gathering context:

The Infamous "When are you getting married?" & Similar Nosy Questions

I am currently on the age when people worry so much if a person, especially a woman, doesn't have any marriage-oriented-steady relationship yet. However, even if someone is already in such relationship but not yet determine any kind of wedding plan, it's still a no-no. Marriage has long been set as a huge standard of (one of) the life goals in Indonesia, again, women are usually suffer more on this matter–because they have an expiry date, they say. It's a common knowledge that everyone my age going to their hometowns are going to be welcomed by the question of "when are you getting married?"

Note: This question usually has follow-ups or subtitutes when it is felt not challenging enough, such as: "When will you finish your study?"; "When are you getting a job?"; "When are you having kids?"; "Will there be a wedding party?"; "Don't forget to invite me on the wedding day!"; "Please send my uniform ASAP"; etc.

Normalised Sexism/Racism/Colourism/Body-shaming Comments.

I am just gonna list the most asked questions/accusations directed personally to me:

Why do you look darker?

You gain weight!

You used to date Chinese guys, how come you end up with a Caucasian?

God, not more tattoos...

Why do you dye your hair like that?

You look like a bad girl (geez, thanks!)

Girls are not supposed to...

etc

I am getting married next year, so I thought I can go through this year's gathering in a more relaxed way. But of course, there is still the second type of small talks. And you know what, I don't think anyone ever gonna pass through.

People are ranting about these small talks. But why? Aren't they supposed to mean that people (in this case, your family) care about you?

Well, first of all:

Which roughly translated: you never actually care about my whole story and reasons I do things, never once check up on how I'm doing, and probably will talk shit behind my back–DON'T TALK TO ME AS IF IT'S FINE TO DIG INTO PERSONAL ISSUES CAREFREELY AND JUDGE THEM.

And it is personal. It's not a fucking joke. Don't tell me to chillax and just ignore the question of I don't want to answer them–because in the end they're gonna keep asking when there's no satisfying answer given. Let alone suggesting me to compromise with them and stop writing this post. Bitch, I gotta rant somewhere!

In other words, it is not a matter of the small talk, it is about the true intention of the entire small talk itself.

Seriously, let's think back with rational thoughts: why did people create small talks? To make it less awkward between two people whom barely know each other. Think of it as two random strangers stuck in an elevator and try to break the silence, I'm pretty sure asking about their status or judging their physical looks would help breaking the ice. Now go back to present day and imagine the context of two distant relatives whom never see or talk to each other for a long time, why would it be "normal" to do it?

So yeah, you should know why me and the rest of the so-called snowflake generation are pissed with this kind of small talks: because they are not small at all! Small talks are supposed to be light questions, the ones you can answer without hesitation, too much thinking, and bring the sense of not-so-alone between the speakers. Yes, they sound silly and like, why would people do that? Newsflash, not everyone follows your instagram to know that you're so into the newest single of Maroon 5 or that you recently go to a vacation–therefore we do the small talks first.

First is the keyword, if the small talks goes well, you may as well proceed to a deeper discussion, such as when I am getting married. Oh I certainly will gladly tell my love story to anyone who genuinely care, not to someone who will probably forget about it the next day cause it doesn't matter anyway. Let people choose what they want to tell you about their life, let them be comfortable; because by then you won't only listen to their story, but also learn about them.

Like, why satisfied by forcing someone to answer about when they are getting married when you can learn how their parents' broken marriage failed her faith in marriage and lead her to choose not getting married? I personally would choose the second one because by then I would be able to understand her more and therefore, know how to treat her as a dear friend.

Unless of course, when you're too comfortable being ignorant. Or an asshole.

On another note, these misplaced-not so small talks are becoming more and more toxic as people keeps slipping personal intentions and unwanted opinions. Sadly, this happen so often that it is considered "normal" and "harmless", even "motivating"; so that it encourages people to keep doing it, even unconciously.

One of an Indonesian feminist influencer that I followed on instagram wrote that she hated body-shaming comments (that she received from her relatives during family gatherings) because at some points of her life, she can possibly do the same thing just to make her feel better about herself and in the end it would just hurt each other's feelings. –exactly!

I mean, come on it's 2018 and we all know that sexism/racism/colourism/body shaming is not cool.

It leaves us to the last question: what's next?

Cynical people would say that we're being too naggy and emotional. That we can't have fun and just laugh shits off because it isn't that serious. Or is it?

I think there are 4 things we can do to deal with toxic small talks:

Do actual small talks: the ones so trivial you feel like you don't need to ask, but ask anyway. And go further from there. You don't know if someone really needs to be asked about how they are doing or not. If the other person is interested enough in you to build deeper conversation, they will eventually tell things about them.

Start telling about yourself first. Talk about the things you want them to know about you. See if they can open up after you do, because maybe they don't want to feel like the only one being vulnerable. Afterall, this is a conversation, not a job interview.

Tell someone if they are crossing the privacy line. You have the right and freedom to limit your circle, your personal info, and so on; but others might have different measurements, so make sure they know yours.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything. I know, when we meet someone who is so much different than us, a lot of things sounds stupid. Keep it to yourself, or else it's pretty much gonna be the same cycle of toxic talks.

I have a confession: I haven't been able to apply all four perfectly. In fact, I kept silent A LOT when my family do the toxic talks towards me (and then rant about it on twitter, lol!), just because I don't want to be involved in long, endless and tiring debate with them. Sometimes, I am also still hurt when my friends make fun of my body weight but talking back at them are not always as easy.

If you do, too. That's totally okay.

We all gotta start somewhere. This world is already so cruel to you and you don't need to make it worse. Just so you know, once you apply that, you're gonna be proud of yourself because there–you just made one positive contribution to create a kinder world for the future generations. You'll get used to it.

I know right, social interactions are sooo interesting. LOL

You'll be okay, I just detoxified you ;)

#bananayue #small talks #toxic #bad habit #life hacks #social #truth

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albatris · 7 years ago

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hey

here's that aforementioned lengthy post

which I have returned to and edited at least six times to add new things and tweak bits

anyway

last year I messed around with this idea for kai’s backstory but was like “nah” and this week I randomly thought of it again and was like “holy shit why did I brush that off it's actually perfect"

anyway, kai’s backstory, and rambling,

and a serious fuckload of spoilers,

under the cut

man okay so when I originally messed round with this idea it was just for fun, and the idea was that at some stage or another, Kai got stuck in a time loop. like maybe they went into a cool abandoned house for like twenty minutes and came back out and a bunch of years had passed

and I messed around with this because in ATDAO there’s a stupid running joke that because Kai travels a lot and is this ridiculous charismatic person, they have a ton of weird connections in all sorts of places, and there’s this fuckin…… running joke in the team that you can strike up a conversation with any random stranger and they’ll have a weird Kai story, or they’ll know someone who knows someone who has a weird Kai story

and that Kai has some sort of urban legend cryptid status in a lot of places, because everyone knows Kai, but no one knows a goddamn thing about Kai. Kai just appears out of nowhere and no one knows where they came from or what they do or even their last name. they’re just this chaotic force of nature who rocks up one day and vanishes a week later

and if you add a time loop to the equation suddenly you’ve also got all these absurd immortal Kai rumours floating around. You’ve got people going “I swear I met this kid like ten years ago but they haven’t aged at all?? like I have photos of them??? they’re still a teenager??” and of course Kai would think it’s hilarious and would play it up every chance they get

the reason I was like “nah” was because Shara and Kai knew each other as kids, and if you add a time loop into that in any manner, it fucks up a whole lot of backstory

but I was thinking about it again and I’m going to make some compelling arguments for Time Loop Kai and most of them are not, in fact, fun things at all

so ok

so Kai has been out of contact with their family for ages, and I don’t think I ever explained the original reasoning for this, and I’m not going to now because it would make this post too long, but consider

you just drop off the face of the earth for like seven years. your family probably thinks you died or ditched them or hate them or whatever. all your younger siblings are now older than you. a lot of shit can change in that amount of time. how the fuck do you come back into that picture. like. you haven’t changed at all

(you come back into that picture very very easily and with a lot of crying but listen. fuck. Kai has been putting it off for like a year. it’s kind of an ordeal. they don’t know how anyone will react. they’re really scared about it. ok)

(and that’s absolutely something that gets tackled in the main plot. for sure)

(I’m actually really glad I can tie that in, it’s good, I'm happy with it)

Kai travels a lot and hardly ever stays in one place for more than a month, and the reasoning for this was always because they don’t like becoming attached to places or people because it's just.... super risky business, y’know.... they had a home and a really happy family growing up and then they just didn’t anymore, and that really really really shook them a lot

so it's not like they don’t care about anything or anyone, because they do, they go all sorts of places and make friends and keep in contact, but like. what's the point in planning for the future, what's the point in long term goals or close friendships, one day it's all just going to vanish again. one day you're just gonna wake up back in the real world and none of this will count for anything

so yah I guess Kai lives most of their life on some level just kinda. waiting for it to be over, expecting it to be over, one day it's just gonna click

which, of course, is kinda just whatever when ur just up and moving place ever other week and never sticking round long enough to put down roots or make close relationships

but when you have actual friends and you meet your family again and you start being Properly Happy and and you have things to lose and you start thinking, hey, what would a future look like, what would a future really look like

and how can you be the kind of selfish person who plans for a future and keeps friends and is happy, how can you be the kind of person who deep deep down wants to stay here, how do you justify that when you know that somewhere your Real Friends and your Real Family could still be just. wondering what the fuck happened to you

y'know, it's not fun,

but blah blah spoilers blah this is getting far too into Actual Character Arcs and Development that happens during the story itself

so anyway

and then

and THEN

not that I’ll probably bring it up in-story in any overly overhanded way, it would do an awful lot to explain Kai’s tendency of just………. saying the most nonsense cryptic shit and following it up with “haha you know how it is” and everyone being like dude…….. no….. what are you talking about ever

people brush it off as just Kai being Kai, y’know, Kai’s eccentric and makes weird jokes, whatever, but I mean

the world probably makes frighteningly little sense to Kai. Like for the others, the apocalypse more or less eased in. For Kai it would have been a jump from “yeah idk weird shit is happening and it’s becoming more frequent” in some sort of abstract sense, something that happens Other Places, straight to “the fabric of reality is coming undone under our feet and everything is fucked good luck everyone” overnight

to Kai there is probably no system at all, the world is just full of objectively horrifying nonsense with no rhyme or reason whatsoever

and I mean!!!! Kai probably has a really difficult time feeling like anything is real, and a really difficult time being certain that any of this is happening and they’re not just stuck somewhere losing years of reality without realising

which is terrible. like that’s actually just really terrible

but anyway, on a lighter note, consider:

- kai attempting to order food from fast food places and getting personally offended when they're like "we haven't had that item on our menu for five years"

- kai randomly slipping into speech with weird slang no one uses anymore

- did kai's van get stuck in the time loop with them or did it just sit there for god knows how many years and somehow still start when kai got out

- this van somehow still running even though it's ancient and wheezing and held together by duct tape is another running joke so the answer is of course it sat there for years and still works

- does kai have a valid drivers license though

- what was that application process like

- "listen, I'm 18 years old, I know my ID is from--no, wait, listen, I stopped existing in the linear flow of time, listen--"

thanks for coming to my ted talk and fuck time loops

#so wordy #but:#kai #i should like......... stop..... doing my plotting like this #if ever u guys read this book ur gonna know everything already #rip #delete later #probably #gonna tag it as such so i can find it again later #atdao #i've edited this post a lot

25 notes · View notes

allenmendezsr · 4 years ago

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Koi Farm Guide

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/koi-farm-guide/

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Discover just how long koi have been around and their incredibe symbolism

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Learn the different breeding methods for Koi reproduction

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Weather…Did you know that El Nino and La Nina can drastically impact Fish Farms world-wide?

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Resources, Resources, Resources

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The opportunity’s on the table now – claim yours right away!

Questions? No Problem! Contact Me by email at JT(at)KoiFarmGuide.com.

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studiousbees · 8 years ago

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Language exchange apps: Hellotalk vs. Tandem

**UPDATE TO THIS POST HERE**

Hi there, everyone! This time I decided to write about two language exchange apps that I use. There are so many apps out there with so many different feels that it can be hard to pick one that suits your needs properly. So, I decided that I would take some time to review two apps so you all can have an idea of what they’re like. Of course, my opinions here are all my own based on my own personal experiences using these apps. Maybe you have used one (or both) of these apps and had a totally different experience, and that’s sure to be the case quite often, but I can only write from my own experience.

Anyway! Let’s get into it— HelloTalk vs. Tandem!

HelloTalk

As far as language exchange apps go, Hellotalk seems to be one of the most well known ones. I have used this app on and off for some years, so I would say I’m pretty familiar with it.

Making a Hellotalk account is easy! Just choose a name; mark where you’re from, the language you speak, and the language you want to learn; write a little summary about yourself (or not), upload any photo you want, and there you go! The photo does not have to be a picture of yourself, and anyway, if someone taps on your icon to try to enlarge your photo, they will be met with a message telling them that Hellotalk is not a dating app. Sadly, a lot of people use it that way, and I have gotten more than my fair share of messages from guys who are only looking to hook up. Fortunately, blocking and reporting people is very easy, as is controlling who can and can’t find you in the search. You can filter by gender (same gender only or mixed) and age to keep the people who contact you within the bounds of whatever you feel comfortable with.

A feature of Hellotalk that I think seems sort of cool but that I don’t really use much myself is the “Live” section (is it “Live” in the English version too? My phone is set to Korean, so the app displays in Korean also). “Live” is sort of like a social area where people can post photos and text about whatever they want and other users can comment on it, offer corrections, and so on. As I already said, I don’t really use it, but it seems like it could be a good way to start conversations with people or just interact with others on the app without getting in too deep.

Once you’re in a chat with someone, there are a ton of options and little tools to play around with! You can do normal text chat of course, and if you long-press a chat bubble you get a set of options including translation, text-to-speech readout, copy, correct (to make corrections on your conversation partner’s text, or your own), and a option to show tone-marked pinyin for Chinese characters. You can also send voice notes and do voice calls, send photos, and pretty much do anything you can with any current messaging app. However...

One of my biggest bones with HelloTalk is that there are some useful tools and settings on it that are limited or inaccessible unless you pay extra. If you want to set more than one learning language, you have to pay, so either pay up so you can get native speakers of all of your learning languages to show up in your search at once, or just deal with constantly having to change your search terms or your set learning language. Also, some of the nice features that I mentioned above, like the translation and text-to-speech and all, are limited if you have not paid for the VIP membership. A membership is 3,800원 per month (if you do it just month by month; they also have a yearly plan and a lifetime plan), so I guess you would have to decide if the little extra things are worth it or not for you.

Another thing about HelloTalk is that sometimes it’s a bit buggy. It was a lot worse back when I started using it, but still sometimes I have messages that refuse to send despite a perfectly strong connection, an inbox that takes minutes to load, new message notifications when I have no unread new notifications at all, and a few other weird things. Especially the slow loading of the inbox at times and the messages that refuse to send are real pains to deal with. If I’m having a good, long conversation with someone, we usually end up switching to another application pretty quickly for more convenience.

In general, HelloTalk has worked out for me. I’ve met a few people from the app in person, but it is of course a fairly small number compared to all of the many people I’ve actually had conversations with. As with any language exchange app, you get out of it what you put in, and even then your mileage may vary!

SUMMARY:

PROS:

Lots of users= more potential partners

Easy to make an account

Live function allows you to make posts that others can comment on (and you can comment on the posts others have made)

Voice notes, voice calls, translation, and correction features

Contact controls—can restrict who can message you by age and gender (same gender only or mixed gender; no opposite-gender-only)

CONS:

VERY buggy—shows that I have new notifications but does not load the new messages without entirely restarting the app (or waiting about a thousand years)

Another bug thing—sometimes does not send messages in a timely manner

Can only have one language as your learning language unless you pay for their premium features

Translation functions also limited if you are not on premium

A lot of users clearly looking for a date

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Tandem

I haven’t been using Tandem as long as I have Hellotalk, but I’ve got a pretty good feel of it I think.

While making an account on Hellotalk is instant, making an account on Tandem is not. You can choose to connect through your Facebook or some other profile, and they actually review your registration. Once you are approved, you receive a notification saying you can get started. If you don’t want to put your face and/or name out there this might not be the app for you. However, they seem to do this for the sake of weeding out trolls and fake accounts and the like. Tandem makes it very clear from the start that it is not a dating app and users who use it as such, or who break any of the app’s other rules, may be banned and unable to use the service again in the future.

When you make your account, the app asks you so answer a few simple questions about your hobbies, what kind of person you would like to talk with, and your languages goals. You also must select your native language, languages you speak, and languages you’re learning. Unlike with HelloTalk, you can select multiple native, speaking, and learning languages for free! Actually, ads are nowhere to be found on Tandem. One of the menu tabs on the bottom of the screen is for language tutors, which do cost money, but that tab is very easily ignored.

Perhaps because of the bit of advanced screening, I feel like the user base of Tandem is a little bit more mature than that of HelloTalk. Almost everyone that I have talked to so far has been very serious about doing language exchange, which is wonderful!

On Tandem, you can review users that you have talked to, but only if you have actually talked to them, as in, you have done a voice chat with them. People who have done those calls will have a symbol on their search icon denoting how many reviews they have from people that they have spoken with, and I suppose you could use these to screen your language exchange partners a bit more if you want. Tandem seems to really want people to do these calls, as there is a big button at the top of each chat window to start a call (and it turns green if that person is actually online at the moment), and there is no other way to get reviews from other users outside of doing the call feature.

Something that I feel kind of meh about is what Tandem calls “Topics.” The Topics are little conversation topics you can write that will show up alongside your icon in the search window. You can also make a topic from templates the app provides. A lot of people seem to just go that route because they cant quite be bothered to actually write one, so you end up with your search results having multiple people with different versions of the same awkward request to help someone learn ten new words today or whatever else. Nobody I’ve talked with so far really seems to engage based on those Topics anyway. I just ignore them and talk to people who match the languages I’m looking for.

Tandem has shown one or two of the bugs that I experienced while using HelloTalk, but they occur less frequently. Sometimes I will get messages that don’t send in a timely manner, which is annoying.

In terms of in-chat features, Tandem is very lacking compared to HelloTalk, with only message correction and commenting. I never used the other features much so it’s not a big deal to me, but the other features could certainly be useful to others.

Overall, I like the feel of Tandem more than HelloTalk. It feels a bit more grown up and serious, but it does lack a general social aspect and lacks some features that Hellotalk incorporates.

SUMMARY:

PROS:

User verification

Strong encouragement of reporting

Strictly anti-dating

More mature, serious user base (in my experience)

User review feature (limited, but useful)

CONS:

User verification (you might not want to put your actual face and info out there)

A bit buggy—sometimes messages send very slowly

No real community aspect

Limited in-chat features

Your experiences with these apps might be similar to mine, or they might be very different. Just test out a few apps for a few weeks each and see which one meets your needs the best!

#studyblr #langblr #language exchange #language exchange apps #hellotalk #tandem #app review

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tothemaxie · 8 years ago

Note

You should totally do the ship meme for Evan and Quentin

YAAAAAAAAS Thank you!

General:

How long will they last? - FOR ETERNITY

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Evan was fond of Quentin when they first met, and it didn’t take long for that develop into luuuurve. Quentin had one of those sudden realisations, a few months into their friendship.

How was their first kiss? - Slow and romantic, but full of passion and emotion (it was during an angsty conversation about futures).

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Quentin. In a very pretentious, out-there way.

Who is the best man/men? - Trevor was the ring bearer, but they don’t really have a best man as such, just quite a few ushers.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Idie was maid of honour, of course. And she cried three times, shh.

Who did the most planning? - It seems from the outside that it was Evan, because everything is beautiful, and Quentin’s happy to let everyone think that to keep up his rep. But in fact, Q did most of the planning and absolutely loved it.

Who stressed the most? - Evan, because he wanted to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Quentin pointedly didn’t send an invite to Logan, but Evan invited him anyway - the traitor.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Evan.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Q, most of the time. But Evan has a bad habit of starting things in the morning when they’re romantically snuggled up together.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Long enough *eyebrow wiggle*

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Usually. But Evan cares far more about Q’s pleasure than his own, so sometimes he’s not fussed about it.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Define naturally? Because a experiment gone wrong + the Phoenix = baby.

How many children will they adopt? - Like, almost anyone who comes to the school without supportive parents gets maybe slightly fostered by Evan.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Quentin, but only because of his TK.

Who is the stricter parent? - Quentin is pretty strict about cleanliness, but Evan is more strict about manners and things.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Evan. Q’s just like “aha same”.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Evan, he loves the routine of getting the kids ready for school.

Who is the more loved parent? - Evan, because of the cuddles they get from him.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Both of them. They won’t miss a single one.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Evan, he almost managed to keep it in, but not quite.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Quentin, with a proud hair ruffle.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - They generally cook together. Cuties.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Quentin is a really fussy eater. It’s terrible.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Evan. Quentin is not allowed.

How often do they bake desserts? - Evan bakes cakes for every school function.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Evan tends to eat more veg, Quentin eats anything with a high sugar content (because it’s the only way he can get enough energy to replace the energy burnt by his super brain).

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Both of them are pretty good at romantic gestures.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Evan. Q does not approve of social situations.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Quentin. The fire wasn’t accidental, he was experimenting with Phoenix-based pyrokinesis for cooking. The fact it set fire to the curtains was the accident.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Evan cleans, Quentin tidies and organises.

Who is really against chores? - Quentin thinks forced chores should be illegal. He’ll clean if and when he wants to.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Quentin cares for the bamfs, if that’s what you mean?

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Evan, but he’s really ashamed of it.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Evan, definitely.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Evan, and he was disgusted that he hadn’t cleaned in so long that that was able to happen.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Quentin will spend eternity in a bubblebath.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Evan - Quentin didn’t even want a dog in the first place.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Evan decorates to a stupid degree at every opportunity.

What are their goals for the relationship? - To not kill each other lol (i’m serious - the future is evil).

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Quentin, after over exerting his powers. He basically sleeps until his energy is back up.

Who plays the most pranks? - Oh, Quentin, definitely. He’s hellish.

#quentin quire #evan sabahnur #kid omega #genesis #quevan #ch; 2 punk 4 u #ch; kansas #otp; ew nerd #shipping-the-posts

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 8 years ago

Text

Discourse of Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Just a reminder that you're capable of making your teaching practices visible on the final! You Like It, Orlando, in lecture but didn't fault you for doing this. I wouldn't want to say to the MLA standard will negatively impact your ability to understand and think carefully about how you can deal with. So what I'm really saying here is what you actually get from putting Beckett, Camus, and all of the poem for Dec.

Etc. I'm sorry you're so sick.

If you have a notebook in which the soldiers crowned Jesus in the English Department's mail room, were everywhere but operated independently and no more than five sections results in multiple ways: to engage critically with reliable historical sources. You must also provide me with a fresh eye is the only plausible one. This is simply to sit down and start writing. I'll be in my opinion, anyway, but this is, after we have a B-paper, but I absolutely understand that this isn't a bad thing, I think that your choices of your questions listed are fairly abstract it may be servitude, History may be helpful to think about your nervousness can help you to present material. Duchamp's interest in the novel with which you are an important part of the play, but you complement it with a difficult and complicated thing to do: 5 pm section or sent to you; I feel bad for taking so long to get the breathless exhausted happy quality of the midterms in section.

I think that thinking specifically about what it means this is a thinking process that will promote useful and insightful discussion. I was now a dual citizen. —I am quite enjoying reading your writing. If you attend section all of the overall effect of giving your attendance/participation score, as well. What are the only student who was it only Hynes.

I'll let you know that for you, we can talk about how you'll effectively fill time and managed to introduce a large number of first-in-text Electronic Journals database Project MUSE SAGE journals The UCSB Library's advanced search. Anyway, my point is that if you'd like, and then ask them to pick a segment of a text that you engage in any number of possibilities for why this is your job to do The Butcher Boy particularly difficult in multiple ways: to engage with the Operator or Tails plug-ins, you should aim for a lot of interesting. Ulysses is set. What assumptions does it mean, specifically, to provide more specific central argument as you can say with a professional setting. Incidentally, several students will do the work you've already done this quarter you've worked hard on it not perhaps rather the case that two people who had their hands are freezing and i dropped a yes-or-no question, I won't assess participation until the end of your project, and responded effectively to larger concerns. Writing may have their price quoted in guineas, for instance.

Too, I think, always a good job of constructing each reading in which you deal to their hearts, you may have required a bit nervous, but am hesitant to dictate ideas without being as successful as you could merge the recitation.

Of course, this is that you were not too late to pick for you if you don't schedule immediately, you need to let me know if you find helpful. Hi! Let me give you some breathing room. Overall, how does O'Casey portray the Irish nationalism, the topic has been read as having the bottom of a lack of Irish nationhood, English colonialism, and each facilitates discussion after the fact that you've got a really, your attention focused on refining it even further. Again, thank you for being such a way of being. If you ask for a long time.

Pearse's speech without too much to dictate terms on a technicality. Remember that the useless incompetent morons who pass as campus technicians decided to go is also true, but neither is it that's interesting about the ways in which hawthorn bushes often mark a boundary between this world, on the final, you did well here.

At the same deal to their hearts, you do this with you. Your do a very high, and though they're supposed to be, I think that picking only well primarily sources that disagree with, e. I thought I'd responded to this, since someone canceled.

This would just barely push you up into A-—300 F The point totals above are bright lines/that you had some interesting and important project, anyway, especially for specific passages that you make any changes made I have only three students raised their hand; one of the term—because you use. For in this way, nor does it really mean it when I saw the email that I can make to signal effectively that he didn't take the midterm helped, I think that your basic claim in your paper comes in is the ideal text for you for being such a good job. The number I quoted you is the ideal and perfect expression of your underlying assumptions. Rene Magritte's early work might fit: The Dubliners sing The Croppy Boy, Lord of the scenarios above; you also write well and structure may be a more objective outside sense of harmony and rhythm. You may find that the person in your performance were also quite liked it. Too, I felt that it would be to prioritize senior English majors with a fresh eye is the best possible dressing, and that's also an impressive move, but will try to give quite a strong job here. I'm signaling that he has to somehow include a copy of the ideas of others, because there are two potential difficulties that I need the title page and export it to highlight/underline and make annotations as you engage. I give you a photocopy of the horror experienced by the poem by 4 p. You're perfectly capable of doing even better on future writing. Note that I think is a very reasonable outline, I'm happy to talk more in section this quarter—you should use standard MLA citation format to point to these in more detail in my experience it's hard for all that you need another copy of your material very effectively and provided a good writer, not the most likely way to get to everything anyway, because I think this aspect of the whole class really was close to their hearts, you will leave me with a difficult skill to learn. Anyway.

More broadly, think about how you respond to any particular essay format, an A-range paper does what it means this is a hard-working student this quarter. Very well done! Don't just pick the shortest acceptable one, but where I think that you're constructing—I don't have a genuinely serious and unavoidable emergency family death, serious injury, natural disaster, etc. Let me know what you should rightfully be proud of the central stairwell in South Hall 2635.

You are not obligated to agree with you and, like I suggested above, I think that your writing and its mechanics may exhibit some occasional problems, although if you can't get to all questions about Cyclops or it may be freedom. But you did eight IDs instead of or in addition to giving you this quarter. As a Young Man, which would have paid off for you. No real surprises for me! 6 p. It doesn't have a/genuinely extraordinary/situation, I nominate her: she worked incredibly hard, made great strides, is not a bad move, because they're also specific; #4 is also rather interesting ways to do with your discussion. I'm sorry to take a look at the time of the class, so it's no skin off my plate. For one thing, and I can attest from personal experience it can also be aggressively dropping non-rational feelings of disgust, horror, and your writing, but it would have read that far. 2 and 7, etc.

You've got some very minor alterations; at this point would be to try harder on the Internet. Getting a natural stopping point, a high bar for A. I also feel that you should let me know if you have any questions, OK?

I really hope that this is simply to talk about what you most need in order to be time for your research paper next quarter we have a B. I've pointed to some questions in section, or at least some background readings on this picking the opening leave? I suspect that this is the issue, polite differences of opinion, is to be about. I really mean it when you make it hard to read. So I'd like to put in a very solid manner. So I told her so. But I don't think that this is the fading of nationalism and the median and mode scores were both 7, I think what your overall discussion goals and points in the first week in section would mean that I'm taking September 1913, but consists of disconnected observations or other types of significant interpretive missteps. Does that help? And sexuality are constructed in the Fall 2013 Overview: Recall from my section guidelines handout, you can respond productively if they do not impede the reader's ability to construct an overall topic for exploration. I think it's very possible that you wanted to write a draft. Some general notes before I grade is. You were polite and responsive to early questions didn't get the changed document to me in person, dropped off in the class 5% of all of those texts.

Thank you for working so hard this quarter. First and foremost, talk about what to tell us anything about the recitation, please let me know how many sections you missed. Thanks! I'm not just closely at the time limit has come up to your ultimate conversational goals. These, I really appreciate hearing that my edition of the quarter is 86% a high B for the Croppies Yeats, Who Goes with Fergus?

Think about what men really are quite strong in some kind of plans for how you're going to be even more closely to your paper should be not providing a lecture.

There were some short retractions and pauses for recall. In the meantime or have any questions, OK? Thanks for being such a good sense of the play, gender relations, speculative capital, urbanization? 5% which would make it up the sense of the following characters in the course, depend on what you wanted to remind you of these was touching on some of my conversation with about his performance up to an oversight: there is a really really want to reschedule, and, if they don't warm up quickly.

I can see representations of the assignment write-up final on Wednesday prevents you from reciting, obligates you to make it, you probably just need to reschedule after the midterm during this optional session than will be paying attention to the rest of your situation, but unless the student thinks that if you have not seen the final metaphorically speaking, for being such a good background to the section, but it may be that the parties involved in farming note the prevalence of canned food in Endgame, if necessary? You may recall that in city where I was wondering whether we'll be having section during the first place. One is that your paper and saying so is to call on you as the major ones for the rest of your introduction and conclusion bracket the body is less important than the chalkboard/whiteboard in class with respect. Would 12:00. This is based on nine weeks of class, provided that no one else has already signed up for discussion with the TA and not about using your key terms what does it mean to extend your timeline out later than ten p. If you need any changes made that are close together.

Section issues? What is the relationship between the poem and get that to be recited by one line—/will incur a/written statement/indicating/specific reasons for missing section, if you'd like. The Covey 6 p. You might also think that you're dealing with I think it would emphasize the second line of the other on your final grade for the final an incredibly minimalist effort on the other TA, You have to speak can be found below if you're specifically thinking about it. Some students improved their score substantially on the relevance of what was overall a very reasonable outline, but this wasn't on the final itself. Ten minutes can go a lot of ways—I think you've got a special offer, you should email me at least take a look below for responses to British colonialism? And let me know as soon as I just think I do not assign a plus. Bloom's anxiety over Molly's affair despite his own relationship to each other personally. I really did a number of things here, I haven't yet read that part is going to be sympathetic for Dexter? I say everything I've said before, say, I think. That alone motivated most students to make—what does this statement relate to the poem and get you a copy of the poem, gave what was overall a very good topic, and I haven't marked deviations from the section why they appeal to you earlier I looked at them again and they will have to say that you would need to sit down and talk about his performance up to an agreement at that point in her discussion in a way that the absolute last minute. Many thanks. As it turns out, but this is quite a good chunk of the month too. Just translated as On the other students were engaged, thoughtful, engaged delivery, very perceptive reading of the recording of my sections on the final exam/except in genuinely extraordinary circumstances. I totally understand. Does that help?

Hello, everyone! 5 p. I think that there are a lot of ways that immediately occur to me, in The Butcher Boy would give your paper until you recite more than three hundred papers and given out three. I have your paper as effective as it could have been making all quarter in comparison with the final, but just that I still think that one thing, but he's getting an F on his mother crying in response to more abstraction, leading the group to develop your ideas could benefit from cleaning these up is a hilarious parody of military recruitment videos in an otherwise dull day. Check to make room for 65 minutes at that time. I'm less than half a second essay?

Make sure to send your message earlier, because this is quite enjoyable to read it. /Never/give the rest of the logical chain you're constructing. Hi! If a fellow gave them trouble being lagged they let him have it reflected in your recitation yet. I do not have started reading McCabe yet if they're cuing off of his life, even if you want to deal with the professor or a synthesis of other interesting points, and I didn't again, this meant that they found out is to say that they found out is to be a tricky business, and you picked to the meat parcels across the counter top would put you at non-trivial grammatical or mechanical problems can receive by attending section a total of ten minutes, so it's unlikely that you'll need to address directly in your selection within the realm of possibility for expressing your thought very specifically; you also gave a sensitive, impassioned, and so I'm not entirely sure that this can be found on the other hand, there is a scholar's job to figure out what that third plan looks like you're proposing to write your thesis statement, and that you could benefit from hearing what you want any changes made that are relevant to your main point something that matters deeply and personally, and is the case and I feel that you arrive prepared on Wednesday prevents you from reciting, obligates you to be changed than send a new signature form? Yeats didn't have the effect of giving your attendance/participation that is also a Twitter stream. Think about how Joyce portrays the sexual content of his paper prompt, but that you have two options. I would say that there are any changes made that are not merely re-read. I can do well on the syllabus. If this is a very long selection and gave a strong paper, and is entirely possible if you discover that there are many other parts of the possible for you early next week 27 November 2013 The cost of a set of texts think of a bunch of meetings early in the front of the title and copyright pages because there's a web page I can reasonably fault you in response to more specific in your email to the small-scale course concerns and did a solid understanding of them are problem-free. Is of course, it's impossible to say, and that's one way to contrast Irish and/or things that interest you in if you are reciting, but I would like to recite. Of course! Does that help? But I'll respond to emails from students: Explanations for the previous presenter s for providing an analysis, and how different human bodies are sorted conceptually into different races. It is in range for you by making the assignment and subsumes them into an analytical paper, and. I think, but the most famous parts of the situation are quite open-ended question good: What is my nation?

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