#anyway. fuck spiral from the book of saw all my homies hate spiral from the book of saw

[horrorfilmlesbian]

So, recently I have completed my self appointed mission to watch all the Saw movies, and now I present to you my currently definitive ranking:

Saw

Saw II

Saw VI

Saw III

Saw X

Saw V

Saw IV

Saw 3D (/The Final Chapter)

Jigsaw

Spiral: From the Book of Saw*

*tbh I DO wish it was possible to leave Spiral off the list entirely bc it's so far below the quality of the other movies. But. It is technically a Saw movie so I have to I guess .

Other definitive Opinions per below (spoilers included) -

Personally, Amanda is my favourite Apprentice, and obviously I don't like Hoffman but at least he actually was half interesting, unlike that other guy from Jigsaw who's name has escaped me. Logan? Liam? Idk. He's a loser. To me.

Like, ultimately Amanda was the Real One. She survived her trap and dedicated herself to her mission. Hoffman didn't get tested, not really, and I really don't get why John didn't attempt to do that first before he brought Hoffman on. I can't quite see the appeal.

Also. I have soooo much beef with Jigsaw's place in the chronology. The twist of it being an old game was genuinely mid, and tbh it would have actually been good had it engaged with the true crime elements it teased. I think if it had been some freaky true crime fan desperately trying to recreate Jigsaw traps using information compiled from various freaky corners of the internet, it would've worked.

Instead, it was extremely mid and goes too hard on shock value with its plot twist for it to say or do anything meaningful.

Although genuinely I will give it to them for Saw X as a late addition prequel bc it really fit into the canon. I know people think the kid was corny and maybe it was but. I genuinely had a great time and having my best friend Amanda there really did it. I did get excited about the plot twist bc it was once again such a classic Saw movie move.

I could also talk about Spiral but actually I don't think it did anything. At first I got excited bc it seemed like we'd get a fun modern Saw movie but it genuinely was extremely bad. Nothing it did made any particular sense and it felt like a waste of 90 minutes.

Anyway. Saw movies, overall, rule and I love that silly little riff they do when the plot twist gets revealed at the end of the movie. The joy they have in revealing these things. Unparalleled.