#anyway. <- frothing at the mouth violently

[i3utterflyeffect]

I recently got so incredibly mentally ill about rain world, and I have no explanation as to why so I’m going to blame you 🫵 about it because of that one explanation you gave about it long ago [why do pebbles and moon have to be so tragic thoughhhh I’m on the floor frothing at the mouth and biting my furniture, what is it about siblings that are doomed from the start that enraptures me]

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAA SUFFER ANON >:3

frfrfr though!!! doomed siblings is my favorite trope to ever exist. like, people will talk about doomed yuri/yaoi but when it comes to siblings are you ever going to be able to truly be separate from someone who shares your blood? will the younger sibling ever truly be free from the influence of the elder sibling? their failures, their successes, living in their shadow? will the elder sibling ever escape the shame of letting down their younger sibling, of allowing them to be hurt or to turn into a monster of their own making... where romantic love can be a line that crosses and then never touches again you can never fully untangle yourself from the influence of your own kin

[nyxi-pixie]

'skk dont like each other they literally always say they wanna kill each other'

as if they dont mean it in the most weirdass possessive 'no one else gets to kill you' way. as if dazai no.1 romanticiser of death osamu isnt being completely insane about it (bc what do you MEAN you've thought about killing him EVERY DAY for SEVEN YEARS)

(theyre also Lying bc theyd never actually kill each other otherwise theyd have done it already. its just a fun little exchange they have to be like 'wow ur so awful and detestable i wanna give u a lil kiss on the forehead (with a bullet<3)')

[lyfrassiredda]

introducing the unwilling captain of the Dynamos, former Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda! 

The AU where lyfrassir tries to hunt the prison mechs down with their shiny new eldritch powers (and a gun) for ditching them while their system was vored by a crusty imperialist’s eldritch sugar mommy.

Unfortunately, they’re not the only survivor of a Near Mechs Encounter interested in finding the crew of the starship Aurora— not by a long shot.

[sheepie-self-ships]

💀 not me being so angrily frustrated that I don't remember the exact setlist of the aqua.bats concert I went to of theirs when I was FUCKING TEN YEARS OLD LMAO

[brown-little-robin]

Okay so. The difference in language in how people who are personally invested in clowns and people who are studying clowns theoretically. is often. quite stark. And it often falls along these lines: people who don't love clowns focus on the violence and brutality of their acts (and the pessimism of their repeated failures). People who do love clowns tend to focus on the immortality of clowns, even when they're in violent acts, and the get-up-and-try-again spirit that they bring to their repeated failures.

I am not saying that this first researcher is wrong, but they certainly don't have the whole picture.

[euniexenoblade]

Anyways, baeddel is a slur against trans women.

Yes, there once was a weird group of girls who ressurected this long dead word for representing an ideology (I'm not getting into it but it did suck, just not cuz they "hated" men). This group self destructed before ever getting that many people. It was small. A tiny group. Their ideology wasn't popular either.

But, truscum, anti-sjws (conservatives by another name) and hate sites like kf would start to use the term to refer to any trans woman that they decided wasn't "trans enough" or "woman enough" or more importantly, was "too political" (ie talks about transmisogyny, talks about feminism, talks about leftism, etc.). Baeddel became a stand in for "tranny" "faggot," it's the trans woman stand in for the "nasty man hating dyke" sentiment.

Now, a small niche group of trans mascs on Tumblr dot com have created this concept that the baeddels didn't self destruct, apparently they actually are this insanely popular group whose ideology has spread into modern LGBT politics and has "poisoned" everything. This is just a lie. The baeddels group never had enough members to spread that much, the group didn't last long enough, and it was almost entirely located on Tumblr. The people with "baeddel" in their url or bio or whatever these days have no connection to the political group of old, it's a reclaiming of a word used against them, as explained in the third paragraph.

If someone is calling trans women "baeddels" or talking about baeddels in their posts or whatever, they're just calling trans women faggots. It's "gay agenda," but for the transmisogynists. This is a small bit of why I can't take the "transandrophobia is real" crowd seriously. I knew actual baeddels, the ideological ones, they are not the women they're referring to. They are using a slur to refer to trans women they don't like and are trying to hide it behind some dead ideology that most of them don't even know.

Baeddel is meant to be a scary word, it's meant to silence women. Just like, 5 or 6 years ago, claiming a trans woman was a baeddel was enough to effectively get her "canceled," no matter what she said. But, that doesn't work as easily now. And now these trans masc people are getting information from terfs and lesbophobes and violent transmisogynists about how violent trans women are, about how privileged trans women are, about how transmisogyny is actually fake ("we all experience transmisogyny!") and they did this by lacing it with actual trans masc issues. They present an issue trans mascs do actually face, that could use discussion, and then in the very next post talk about the scary baeddels, the mean baeddels, trans women are so terrible. And these people assume this person can't have an ulterior motive, reblog it, file it away in their brain, so when trans women come in and are like "hey no that's bigotry" these trans mascs froth at the mouth to eviscerate her. It's the dreaded baeddel. Here to oppress me.

I'm going off topic but I digress, if you're calling trans women "baeddel," stop it. You don't know what that word means.

[peachsukii]

₊✩‧₊◜ can’t stop thinking about the possibility of getting caught with Bakugo in public on a patrol shift.

꒰ tags & content ꒱ 18+ MDNI! Voyeurism, dirty talk, some praise/pet names, biting/scratching, unprotected sex, overstimulation, cream pie

“Mmph, mm!”

“Shh, baby, ya gotta keep it down,” Bakugo coos, tenderly stroking your hips before driving his cock into you full force again, pressing your back up against the brick wall of the alleyway. “Someone’ll hear how good your gettin’ fucked.”

It was a slow patrol day, no emergency calls or distress signals for the last hour or so. By some miracle, the two of you were stationed to neighboring sectors for the second time this week. Your schedules were opposite as of late, only getting to see each other in passing or on a day off, so you took advantage of the time you were given.

Bakugo bounced you off his hips with his thrusts, holding you effortlessly as he drilled away at your drenched pussy, slick frothing up between you two. The way your walls clenched around him and massaged every inch of his thick cock has his head spinning. You had one hand over your mouth and one on his shoulder, desperately trying to cover up your ascending moans.

“Ahh Dynamight!” you whine as your hand slips from your face, biting your bottom lip - hard enough to leave it pulsing and flushed. You’re too delirious and fucked out to keep your volume hushed, every single nerve in your body on fire with each buck of his hips.

“That’s-mmph-right, ba-fuck-by, only the number two hero can...fuck you this fuckin’ good,” Bakugo growls, pulling you by the waist to plunge deeper into your tight cunt, hot breath tickling your neck. The angle makes your eyes roll back, swearing he's piercing your cervix as drool threatens to drip from the corners of your mouth. You claw at his chest, viciously groping his pecs and twisting his clothed nipples beneath your fingers. An animalistic groan erupts from his throat as his pacing becomes brutal, the pleasure becoming unbearable in your belly. Your slurring words as they're spilling from your lips, garbled by the moans bubbling up from deep within you.

The communicator in both your ears beeps simultaneously and the general alert of "Assistance Requested in Sector...," signaling any nearby heroes for help. Bakugo kisses your jaw repeatedly, nipping at the skin in-between each peck of his lips.

"Go'head princess, cum all over my cock for me."

The thread inside you snaps violently, the pressure of your orgasm wracking your body so hard that you're close to passing out from the rush. You're vibrating and clamping down on him with newfound strength that he's gasping for breath when he feels the flood of slick coat his dick, dripping from your folds, down his length and onto the ground between thrusts. There's an audible sloshing as Bakugo's tempo becomes uneven, chasing his own release.

"Fuck! Y've never...squeezed me like this...you're so fuckin'-mm-tight!"

His words are strained as he latches onto your collarbone, canines sinking through your hero suit and piercing your skin. A breathless scream escapes you as you feel the explosive release against your walls, hot spurts of seed flowing into you and combining with your own spend. Bakugo's knees buckle and threaten to let him collapse as he catches you - steadying himself to hold you and use the wall as support. His crimson gaze meets yours, darting between your parted lips and lidded eyes.

"Ch-christ baby, that was insane," he rasps through harsh breathing. His follow up kiss is rough, a silent thank you between clashing tongues and bruised lips. He breaks the kiss to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, sweat collecting on your suit from his forehead.

"I'll take th' call, your shift's up anyways. I'll swing by your place after, 'kay?" Bakugo whispers as he's putting you down slowly, pulling out of you as he keeps you upright on jelly legs. All you can do is nod and smile, readjusting your hero suit to its natural state. He's fixing his own clothes and notices you're shaking like a leaf, struggling to stand up straight.

"Y'okay to get home? I can take ya if you can't walk. 's my fault anyways."

"Y-yeah, I think so. I'll just sit here for a few minutes," you say, sliding down the wall and plopping to the ground. "I legitimately think you fucked me into another dimension for a hot second."

Bakugo snickers, kneeling down to cradle your cheek and kiss you again, but this time, it's featherlight.

"Glad to have ya back in this one."

You say goodbye, waving to him as he leaves the alley to answer the earlier distress call. His voice travels through your intercom as he responds and heads to the neighboring sector, a few explosions ringing through the air. The pulsing in your center calms to a flutter within the next few minutes and allows you to finally get to your feet. Good thing you're next scheduled patrol isn't for a few days - you're gonna need some recovery time after a fucking like that.

[b0amagination]

THE BOYS ARE THEREEEEEEE YESSSSSS

Declan is supposed to have a collar at some point <3!!! So yes yes this is accuracy, I cannot simply let a whumpee of mine exist forever without one.

Erebus is actually having so much fun he's just shy <3333

WHITEBOARD DRAWINGSSSSS I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THESE THE OTHER DAY I KID YOU NOT

i think hasan would love to learn about neteri's science over a cup of tea <3333

Bonus: the boys are there too!

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (not everyone, also random combinations, no specific gang)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, homophobia by a gay person (just sillies), mentions of vomit and poison, mentions of drugs

Desc: placenta, placebo, or gazebo? 🤔

Rindou: yk when you tell someone something then they believe it and it works?

Rindou: like what you're saying isn't true but cause they think it is, it works

Ran: yes

Ran: the placenta effect

Izana: here we fucking go

Smiley: you're kidding right?😁

Ran: are you going to put a Smiley face after every single thing you text?

Ran: we get it, you smile really wide 👍

Smiley: kys

Ran: so hostile and for what

Mikey: idk what the word is but it's definitely not placenta

Izana: how even?

Mitsuya: ...the placebo effect??

Ran: isn't that those huge tent things

Mitsuya: that's a gazebo

Ran: oh

Ran: same thing

Smiley: you dumb as hell

Hakkai: you'd think that big ass forhead of yours would be worth something

Hakkai: smh

Ran: and you'd think after 10 years you'd get over whatever grudge you have against me

Hakkai: you literally hit my best friend (future bf) over the head with a brick

Chifuyu: thought you could sneak that in huh

Hakkai: he could have died

Ran: but he didn't?

Ran: i was just being silly and having fun

Ran: is that such a crime🙄

Hakkai: ITS FUCKING ATTEMPTED MURDER

Rindou: so is it placebo, placenta, or gazebo?

Mitsuya: it's placebo

Kazutora: placenta's are in females stomachs for pregnancy i think

Baji: that's the uterus (i'm so fucking smart)

Chifuyu: none of those are correct

Draken: google exists also

Draken: why are you asking us

Rindou: shut up for a sec

Rindou: would the placenta effect potentially kill someone

Rindou: like if you told someone that you poisoned them and then after a while they start frothing at the mouth and shit, could they die?

Rindou: or are they being a little bitch and faking lol

Rindou: i didn't actually put the rat poison in his drink (i think)

Rindou: but it kinda seems like he's dying or smth

Mikey: what the fuck is this situation

Mikey: is this real?💀

Rindou: nah

Rindou: hypothetically

Ran: does this have to do with the ambulance being here

Rindou: nah

Rindou: can y'all just answer me

Rindou: hurry before the "poison", does it's job or whatever

Rindou: guys he's throwing up pretty violently

Rindou: there's blood

Rindou: hypothetically

Izana: who would you have "hypothetically" poisoned?😐

Rindou: bro that's not the point, sir

Izana: stop calling me sir in normal situations

Izana: we're normal now and not in a gang and i'm a normal person not a gang leader

Mochi: so we don't have to call you Izana-sama anymore?

Ran: what if it turns us on

Izana: uhm

Kakucho: fuck off

Kakucho: sorry

Ran: Kaku give it up, he's way too old for you

Rindou: so y'all just gonna let the hypothetical person die? ayt

Rindou: i'm on my way to the hospital for unrelated reasons

Kakucho: who's the hypothetical victim of the placebo

Rindou: uhhh Sanzu

Kakucho: LMAO

Kakucho: let him hypothetically die then 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: punch him in the stomach

Rindou: i know a lot of y'all don't like him but we're friends now and i don't want him to die also he has the best drugs so i'd rather he stay alive so that i can enjoy them recreationally

Rindou: but i'll do it anyway

Mitsuya: stfu for a sex, punching him will make him throw up, and he'll vomit most of the poison out

Rindou: oh like in the stomach?

Rindou: he's gonna be so mad at me, damn

Baji: "shut up for a sex" lmaoooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Baji: and you guys say I'M diabetic💀💀

Mikey: bro what?😭

Kakucho: you mean dyslexic?

Kakucho: nvm the situation speaks for itself

Smiley: the irony of this is crazy

Draken: that got a chuckle outta me 😂

Chifuyu: why you text like a 40 year old dad💀

Ran: i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect

Hakkai: "i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect 🤓👆"

Hakkai: jump into oncoming tragic you f slur🖕

Smiley: aur naur you done made Hakkai homophobic

Ran: you need to fucking chill omg

Mitsuya: are you five years old, Baji

Baji: nah i'm 24 dumbness🤨

Baji: *dumbass

Izana: my oath for not using violence anymore might have to be on hold cause you guys are pissing me the fuck off you fucking incompetent fools useless excuses of human beings

Smiley: bro called us fools

Ran: that's a bit much, sir

Baji: bet you're typing with your left hand

Ran: uh huh <3

Rindou: get some fucking bitches, damn

Ran: where are your bitches, Rindou

Rindou: on my dick

Ran: oh you're talking about the femboys?

Ran: ohh ok i thought you weren't gay but whatever

Mikey: yo is haruchiyo alive?

Rindou: they're pumping his stomach, he'll be fine

Rindou: liking femboys isn't gay

Smiley: 🤨

Angry: 🤨

Rindou: don't act dumb because it's literally in the term 'fem'

Draken: uh, what about the 'boy' part

Rindou: don't twist my words

Rindou: how is liking something that looks like a girl, gay??

Mitsuya: bffr 😐

Rindou: y'all telling me if i fuck haruchiyo i'm gay???

Hakkai: he's a boy?

Rindou: he looks like a woman

Rindou: have you seen his body? tiny ass waist headass. y'all come to the onsen next time you'll see what i mean

Chifuyu: you're being weird rn

Ran: what about his penis, Rindou

Rindou: that's irrelevant

Rindou: besides it's barely noticeable

Draken: people like you and Koko are the fucking problem, get some therapy

Smiley: Rindou thinks fucking a guy in the ass isn't gay 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Rindou: "FEM"

Draken: BOY???? MALE??? MAN??? DICK???

Rindou: ok who's gay now, weirdo🤨

Draken: kys (kill yourself)

[tricitymonsters]

DAY 1 - Impossible Sex (requiring magic to work)

Ft. Oni Kazu and @coyoxxtl 's deathless deathful bruja Coatli

Content warnings: cocksucking from a magically decapitated head, size difference, physical realism is not present, primal/feral, oral, violent overtones.

NEXT

The witch had different death rules Kazu noted somewhere, deep below his writhing furious need to maim and maul.  Granted, not much was making it through the haze of berserk Oni impulses at the moment.  The internal drive to kill and consume was all-encompassing and left Kazu with very little mental space for anything else.

Somewhere deep down he knew Coatli was an ally, someone he at least sort of trusted but her refusal or inability to stem her curiosity when a transformation had unexpectedly started to manifest had now relegated her to something he desired carnally- to kill and eat, most likely, but it was hard to be one hundred percent sure like this.

But while Coatli was (voluptuously) just flesh and blood the huesera had a different relationship with Death, even if Kazu wielded it expertly against others.  To be fair, even when Kazu’s head was on straight and the monstrous bellowing for meat and murder was quiet in his skull, he couldn’t claim to understand much about Coatli’s relationship with death.  Like her, he fundamentally saw it as a natural state and, like her, didn’t fear it but she experienced the void in ways that were very literal compared to his theoretics.

This would have been a very interesting scenario if Kazu wasn’t a frothing avatar of carnal hunger right then.

Coatli was quick on her feet but pushing ten feet tall in a full Oni transformation, Kazu was both fast, unbothered by most obstacles, and had reach in his favor.  She darted to the side and had nearly juked him but he managed to swipe out at the last second and close his thick, gnarled fingers around one delectable thick thigh.  Coatli was short and round anyway, not much of a challenge for human Kazu to manhandle, especially if she egged him on.

Like this, she was little more than a toy for him to whip around.  Through the bloodhaze he could make out some of her details- her smell (smokey), the large void of her hair, and the vexing lack of fear in her heavily lidded eyes.  There was a smug smirk he thought he could make out, born from that unique relationship with bodily harm and death- and the thought of it rankled his temper even more.  He snarled throatily and brought her in roughly dragging his nose and mouth up her body to categorize her smell.  His fangs, outward facing and strong enough to gore something much more structurally robust than her- snagged in her ragged black bandeau, exposing cute, pert tits to his hot breath.

”You didn’t even say please,” she admonished lazily, watching him with an inarguable hunger of her own in her dark eyes.

He growled, not quite at the point to understand human speech right then and growled more aggressively.  Her hands were on him- he realized, his hackles rising in combative fury- pulling at the shreds of fabric clinging to him that were the remains of his clothes.

When she put a hand to his aching cock, however, his brain derailed abruptly.  The hunger that was screaming for blood was now screaming for hot, tight release with the same amount of wild, feral abandon and his whole body rippled, the visible lines of tight musculature across his huge chest shifting impatiently.

He didn’t wait for her to help herself.  He manhandled her until she was upside down and barely managed to line up before his monster cock was pressed against her pierced lips.  If Coatli was anything, she was a full gold star cocksucker.  She could take anything he dished out and then some without breaking a sweat- though he knew full well took sport in playing with both pain and pleasure (and fear if you looked at those sharp teeth)(but Kazu barely feels fear when he’s fully human, much less like this).

She opens her mouth and swallows him about a third of the way- the size difference between them is enormous and he’s already pushing the physical boundaries of what she can take.  He tightens roughly, claws digging into her bare flesh, drool threading from his viciously bared teeth, his sinewy, powerful body coiled like a spring.  He grabs her skull with one huge hand in his frustration and begins to work his shaft as best as he can, pumping in and out of her mouth with growing intensity until the noises he’s making completely drown out whatever noises she is (or isn’t) making.

She opens as wide as she can to take the massive shaft, the flared, ridged head of his cock is engorged and stiff, filling her mouth, her throat, her senses.  Frankly, it was damn near euphoric.  As far as physical specimens go, Kazu never fails to give Best in Show.  She does her best to get her hands in play, feeling the ridges and studs of his monster cock throb under her touch until she rakes her nails down the flushed skin in a fit of delighted cruelty.

Kazu reacts violently- of course he does- wrenching her body with his full strength flinch and in the space of that single instant, Coatli’s relationship with the physical becomes incredibly apparent.  Like a lizard dropping its tail to confuse a cat, her body simply… dismembers itself.  It isn’t theatric, there’s no stage blood spray or horrified wail, just the simple nature of what Coatli is skirting human limitation.

He still holds her skull in his hand and she reminds him with a rough suck that she’s still got all the faculties present he needs to worry about and it's a testament to both her skills and his brutal need that he doesn’t question further.  He grabs her head with both hands and shoves, seating his cock so far into her face that he hits her soft palate and slides beyond, the slight curve putting an intense amount of pressure on his blood-engorged shaft.  The scrape of teeth- a purposeful, competitive “haha fuck you” only made him need more and he picked up the pace in kind.  Out of his head, he slid a thick, clawed thumb into the edge of her mouth alongside his heavy shaft and reeled at the introduction of even more stimulus.

When he came, it was an unholy mess.  If Coatli’s head was simply a puzzle piece to be put back onto her body, cum was now dripping profusely out of most of it.  She was still smiling, even through the cum and the runny mascara, and the friction-flush to her lips and cheeks, and Kazu wanted to make a snide comment… the first sign that she had sated some of his blood lust.  He wanted to pass out where he stood, the transformations were incredibly taxing but even as he felt himself slowly moving back towards his human height and stature, his cock gave another interested pulse and refused to fully go down, set stubbornly half erect (and trying its damnedest to go further) between his muscular thighs.

[ghostbiter]

Shakes violently growls and froths at the mouth

anyway :33

[spineless-lobster]

So anyways- *collapses to the floor* *hyperventilates* *starts violently convulsing* *begins frothing at the mouth* *screaming like a rabid dog* *sobbing uncontrollably* *desperately clawing at thin air* *muttering pleas towards god* *convulsing stops and I lay still on the ground for 7 weeks before promptly standing up and continuing like nothing happened*

So anyways yeah I’m very normal about him

[nyxi-pixie]

the most important thing abt noah coming out is that the people going 'hehe how does our fav strAIGHT frat boy play that fucking gayass so well??😱😱' had to stfu😁👍

[vivacissimx]

I need to hear more of your thots. On boyviv. With (not genderbent) baelon.... prettyyyyy pleaseeeeee? 👉🏻👈🏻 (frothing at the mouth)

I've never thought about them in this light but now that I have..... they're stuck in my brain .

anon the crucial thing to know is I love boyviv. boy!viserra is My talos nephew to daedalus. now obviously he is off-puttingly beautiful. he does not need additional motivation to pursue the arts expected of him, the way vaegon did, but he is not passionate in them either, as baelon is. nor is he as rigorously scholarly as aemon. there is a distance between him and his parents because of the years they spent grieving two lost children, which were the early years of viserra's life. viserra and saera are not outwardly combative the way vaegon was with daella so the match seems set. also, jaehaerys & alysanne find him strange. he's this weird son-daughter presence.

meanwhile saera sees boyviv as her doll. her alyssa, to play with and tease and kiss at will. he dislikes her. she is not particularly fussed about him either except as her prettiest plaything. but she's still promiscuous with other boys etc etc i even agree with the idea of saera promising dances and kisses from viserra to others in exchange for favors, or perhaps creeping into his rooms sometimes.

boyviv wields his chastity like a weapon in the same way saera wields her sexuality as one. my thinking is this: if anyone would have him, the true flex is that no one can. he's a sly vain creature after all :wink:

now boyviv with baelon... parentified baelon so true actually! baelon was j so encouraging when viserra was squiring and for viv it was like a violently erotic moment when baelon knighted him (for baelon it was just another tuesday). viv doesn't wanna be saera's alyssa she treats like a puppy he wants to be BAELON'S KITTEN HE TREATS LIKE ALYSSA 😽

39% of boyviv's whole brain is simply. DILF baelon. it's not enough to be the guy daemon & viserys Love hanging around. he has to be their Mother. oops some alysanne angst snuck in there

sometimes boyviv will sidle up to baelon as ask him for brotherly favors or advice and baelon will get a weird shivery feeling down his back but will answer/do it anyway because there's nothing wrong with it on it's face and they are brothers after all so... okay? and when viv begs baelon to take him on a Quest to avoid some unwanted marriage and when viv begs to do various sexual favors on baelon while they are staying at an inn somewhere in bumfuck westeros. hello! it doesn't count if it's gay!

[diamorics]

It's been a while since I posted here, hasn't it?

Gosh. Okay. It's been 4 years, huh. Where's the time gone? :P

I've had some of my lowest lows and my highest highs since I last posted... I'm. Basically an entirely different person now. I'm scrolling through my old posts on here and wow, I really have changed--

I never truly forgot about this blog, though. I kind of want to bring it back, but I don't know how to pick it up from where I left off... would anyone even be interested in this blog again? (Side note: liking this post will be taken as saying "yes")

Now feels like a more fitting time than ever to bring this blog back, though: today I took my first shot of testosterone!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO excited and I can't wait to see where HRT takes me :')

I'll think about stuff to say on here nowadays if anyone would want to hear it, but in the meantime, you can follow my (new) main at @lvitoula! I'm also making more art again after what was essentially an 8 year break from it, and you can find my art blog at @middlepath!!! I also run a blog where I tag my OCs in posts, which you can find at *remembers the url* ...............uh. @mpregsoleil. (Don't worry about the url.) But anyway if you want to ask me about my OCs PLEASE do not hesitate <- says this while frothing at the mouth and trembling violently (good thing)

[bluezeri]

rambling about connor and noah to my friend who doesnt even know whta im talking about so i figured i should post it here

plus ao3 link if anyone wants to read it on there

anyway heres the actual rambling below the cut

Thinking about the things Horror!Connor said to Noah before anyone knew he was a horror. Thinking about how over the past year Noah had well and truly come to believe that this was the only person to see the good in him other than Devon (who was currently a ghost and the person he "murdered" so he doesn't really count). thinking about how even though he got his boyfriend killed, Connor had come to love him anyway. He really, really came to believe over many months of convincing that Connor loved him 

and then,,,, they revived Devon, and everything was fine for about 2 days. And then Devon woke up, and connor was acting weird, and then everything Connor had previously tried to convince him of came crashing down when Connor started lashing out at him, telling him he had murdered devon, that it was his fault. he didn't even- he didn't even know what to do, what to think 

he didn't even get time to process it anyway, because 3 hours laters he's staring at connor chained to a chair in the basement, practically frothing at the mouth, skin pale and veiny, and his eyes no longer that grey-blue shade he loved so much, instead a sickly bright cyan that pierced straight through his soul. All he could do was grip Devon's hand tightly, as they both vowed to save Connor

Noah loves Connor, so, so much. he didn't think he could love anyone as much as Devon, but here he was, after realising that connor does actually blame him for Devons death (<- he doesn't, but Noah is unreliable narrator of the year <33) and still doing everything in his power to save him 

Hey, he owed him that much, didn't he?

–

Connor remembers it

his descent into being a horror was weirdly slow, and no one ever really figured out why. but he could remember hearing thoughts that weren't his- violent thoughts, thoughts that scared him

he brushed them off though, they had enough to worry about, and he figured this was just his way of processing his moms death

 by the time he realises, it's too late to stop. he hates it, can't stand the voices invading his mind. he tries to fight it, he really does, but before he knows it, his mouth and throat are working together to curse Noah out against his will, telling noah the opposite of what he's been trying to convince Noah of for months, undoing all love he's tried to give to noah, that he's only just recently managed to convince he was deserving of

he wants to cry, except he can't, as the power takes over. and like before, he can only watch as he threatens not only his friends, but the two people he loves most in the world

 and then things get hazy. And then he's so angry. He's so angry that he finally manages to break the chains binding him. He sees Noah, registering the pure fear on his face, and laughs at it. but Noah was not his priority. He wanted the bastard that killed his mother, and he got him. 

found him, eventually, he's not really sure where, nor does he really care. He ripped his heart out, threw it against whatever wall was nearby (a cave? when did he get in a cave??), and then– 

he could sense them. his sweethearts. the ones he promised an cruel and painful death 

he raised his head, trying to find them with his eyes first. but his vision was hazy too, bathing everything in anger and hate and blood, and then... noah was there 

he didn't really register him at first. didn't register much of anything except kill kill kill- but he recognised that- that voice. 

that voice that spoke so softly, so gently to him, like.... when they cooked together, and noah was trying to teach him how cut vegetables correctly without chopping his own fingers off, or like when they were rewatching some shitty horror movie for the 5 time that week, making fun of the terrible cgi and stupid character 

and then his hands appeared. soft, barely calloused from handling weapons, long, bony fingers. raised in a gesture of peace and surrender. he liked holding them, he remembered. he likes rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles to calm him down, and liked when they linked their pinkies together, with burning ears and cheeks, avoiding each other's gaze and then giggling about it like idiots 

and then... through the haze, he could make out a face. Noah's face. the face that he's woken up to for the past 3 months, kissed even longer than that, and pined for even longer than that. the face that scrunches adorably no matter when he's in. the face that- that he loves and holds and hes doesnt want to hurt

and the noah must see his rage filled expression softening out into confusion despite the darkness of the cave, calls out his name worriedly, and rushes to catch him as rowans powers finally cleanse him 

he doesnt think about the things he's done, he’ll save that crisis for a later date. Instead, he only looks up at Noah with tired, wet eyes. 

"i love you." he barely croaks out, and noah looks back at him, with that scrunched up face, cheeks wet with tears that he desperately wants to reach up and wipe away if it weren't for his current lack of strength, and he responds by cradling Connors face and saying "I love you, too." and then connors eyes fall shut, and slips into unconsciousness