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ok yknow what HELP

ive looked through the demiromantic tag for like an hour and i still cant figue shit out so here we are

am i demiromantic or have i just not met enough ppl

bc the way i would explain demiromanticism (?) to myself is im friends w someone for a bit (ranges from a couple weeks to a year) and then we r put in close proximity?? ig and then the secret romantic attraction quest is unlocked however absolutely does not NEED to be completed (which means i dont HAVE to tell them i like them bc im not really expecting anything out of it?? its just a thing thats kind of happening)

ok so the only crushes im counting total up to 3 (? (will be explained))

1!! my friend group at the time thought it would be a funny little haha to say that they all actually 'ship' me w another friend,,, which led to friend jokingly flirting w me all the time which led to us spending more time together therefore secret romantic quest unlocked which i DID complete (told them and got rejected, cried a little, got over it)

2!! actually dated this person for a bit but honestly dont know if i liked them?? or how i happened to start liking them if i ever did??? like ive looked back on this relationship and thought yh we were absolutely friends who held hands more often and they attempted to kiss me a couple times but like?? was that it??? this is the questionable crush bc genuinely have absolutely no fucking clue if i did have a crush on them or if we decided to give dating a shot just bc they told me a bit before that they did like me and i fully just asked them out (and now did i ask them out bc i wanted to date them or bc everyone around me was getting into relationships and i felt like i was being abandoned??? who knows) THIS PERSON IS ALSO ARO NOW AND WE ARE STILL FRIENDS

3!!! classmate i went on a school trip to nyc w (we were friends?? im not good at knowing if im friends w someone,,, point is we talked quite a bit bc we sat next to each other in maths) and he would do things that i consider sweet,,, like lending me his gloves bc it was cold and letting me hold onto his arm while we were on the subway bc i didnt have anything else to hold onto (we did almost topple over) but now that im writing this out and thinking about it,,, i dont think i would think anything of this if it wasn't a dude?? maybe i have way lower standards for men??? i think thats it,,, ok well now im thinking about if i ever actually found him attractive in any way or if it was just the action of giving me gloves and an arm to hold onto,,, anyway that ig?? unlocked the secret romantic quest??

also those were pretty bunched together??? like in the span of like i think 2 years max and its been i think around 2?? years and no romantic attraction has been felt at all but i think it may be bc i havent really met that many new ppl and therefore pool is smaller????????

nddjnd think this is also kind of important to add but one time i was on a call w a couple friends and smthsmth and i went yh its ok i can just find ppl attractive from afar and they went aww blair :( and i was so confused bc i didn't think i said anything wrong???

ok fuck i have way too much shit to think about now,,, anyway help me out pls this is frying my fucking brain