#anyway we had to carry this big ass box all the way to the 4th floor <3 and then put it together which was such a MESS

[c6h5]

social anxiety is fucked it will just have u feeling like ur acting SO weird and insane and embarrassing when you’re trying out furniture at the furniture store like everyone else ever. What

[suckasstakenames]

Craig and Those Guys Week: Day 5 - Sleepover 💤 🎮

The third and final oneshot I wrote for @craigandthoseguys-week !! Craig POV this time!

Thank you for reading!!

----

Token’s residence has always been the favourite hangout, so it was expected that the votes were unanimous when our group decided where to have our highly anticipated boy’s night. My house usually had adult guests over during the evening, Tweek’s parents don’t leave us alone at his place, Clyde wasn’t a very good host, and Jimmy’s parents had completely banned any of his friends from going over because of the aftermath when they went out of town once. Playing fantasy in fourth grade had it’s consequences.

Mr and Mrs Black even decided to take a spa trip so that we’d purposely have the house to ourselves. Risky, but I guess Token is reliable enough to make sure the house is in pristine condition by the time they get back. Even if the rest of us aren’t.

After the four of us shared a car to get there, we were joyfully greeted by Token at his front door and led up to his room. Only it wasn’t Token at the front, it was Clyde, who excitedly (and pretty rudely) barged right in front of us all. We’re all equipped with sleeping bags and rucksacks, each carrying a different assortment of things. Well...besides the essentials.

We collectively decided that I would be in charge of bringing booze to the occasion. My parents were the only ones who didn’t give a shit if I hoarded a large amount of alcohol, so there was no debating it.

Clyde had brought a TON of junk food. He regularly had a pantry stocked with all kinds of goodies (when he wasn’t scoffing it himself) so he just grabbed whatever he could find and stuffed it in a bag.

Tweek was in charge of DVD’s. Being the anxious wreck that he is, we figured it would be best that he picked the film selection so that he didn’t get too disturbed by anything. I did help him out a little, though.

And lastly, Jimmy took it upon himself to come up with any backup plans, incase we got bored with anything. We had no doubts that he would think of some fun shit to do, or bring something that would entertain us. After all, we’d do anything to avoid going to sleep early.

Token had a good amount of food and entertainment himself, but we thought it was only fair to handle our own, since his parents were being so accommodating to us. Plus, he had every video game console thinkable, and a good game selection at that. We were more than prepared.

~

Walking into Token’s oversized bedroom, Clyde drops his backpack on the ground and launches himself onto the kingsized bed starfish style.

“You know you’re not sleeping there right...?” I remind him.

“Unless you’re s-s-spooning with T-Token.” Jimmy jokes from behind me.

Clyde just nuzzles into the bed even further. “I’m sure he’d be happy to have me.”

“Uhhh like fuck I would...” Token retorts, “Your ass is on the floor.”

Clyde turns onto his side and attempts his sexiest pose (which, believe it or not, wasn’t sexy at all). “Don’t be like that baby~”

“Just get over here and unroll your damn sleeping bag” Token says, throwing the sleeping bag directly at Clyde’s head with perfect aim. The impact sends him flying backwards. I thought Clyde was supposed to be the sporty one out of us? He can’t catch if his life depended on it.

Tweek stands next to me, shaking his head and smirking. It definitely isn’t a first for us to witness antics like this; we’re so used to it, it’s unbelievable. I take his rucksack off him and put in down next to mine.

“Here, I’ll take care of your bed.”

“Ngh! Craig, I’m fine doing it myself, really!”

I ignored him and started to set it up anyway. But the little shit went over and grabbed mine instead. Tweek can be a stubborn fuck sometimes, but it wasn’t all that much of a bad thing.

We’d all laid out our sleeping bags in a line (in front of the television, of course) as the sun was just about to set outside. Mine was on the far left, with Tweek next to me, Clyde next to him and Jimmy on the right. We changed into our pyjamas and nestled into our sleeping bags, Token sitting down right in the middle of us. Damn right were we gonna make this a proper conventional slumber party.

Token switched the TV on and some animal documentary was showing. There was a lioness with some lion cubs and it was telling the story of their survival.

“No way?! You’ve got the Nintendo Switcheroo!” Clyde exclaims out of nowhere, making us all jump out of our skin. He crawls over to the console to investigate. Token looks pissed off as Clyde’s big-ass head was blocking some of the screen, and he seems kind of invested in the lion story.

I sigh. “…you did NOT just call it a fucking Nintendo Switcheroo..."

“Of course he’s got one man! He owns everything!” Tweek jokes.

“Yeah, p-p-pauper.” Jimmy stutters. Token just blows a raspberry in response.

“We need to play Mario Kart. We’re playing Mario Kart. Right now.” Clyde dictates.

I groan and roll my eyes. I thought that game had died many years ago…however…when it WAS a thing, I did kick some serious ass.

Fortunately the game box was staring him right in the face, so he started trying to set it up, taking out the disc and trying to figure out how to switch the console on.

Meanwhile the documentary was getting pretty dramatic, as a group of hyenas were closing in on the mother lion and her kids. She was fighting them off, but then the narrator explains how she left behind one of her babies while doing so. It shows one of the hyenas circling the cub like a shark.

Tweek yells out, turning his head away. “Oh god hurry up Clyde!! It’s gonna eat the cub!!”

“I’m trying!!” Clyde whines, pressing any button BUT the correct one. It was clear he wasn’t a fan of the documentary either by how frantic he was being.

The hyena started closing in on the cub.

“CLYDE!! PLEASE!!” Tweek holds his hands over his ears, trying to completely shut it out. I try and comfort him while looking over at Token as if to say ‘don’t just sit there, help him’. He does exactly that and crawls over, pressing a button on the side with ease. Thankfully, the channel automatically switches over and the game console loads onto the screen. I feel a giant exhalation of relief coming from Tweek, who finally withdraws himself from burying his face in my chest.

~

Eventually the title screen appears with the familiar Mario Kart jingle playing. Jimmy starts to wiggle along to it, which, of course, persuades Clyde to dance too. Tweek and I decided we’d share the controller and take it in turns since there could only be four players at once.

When it came to selecting our characters; Token picked Mario, Jimmy went for Toad, and Clyde settled for the ‘Fly Guy’ (Shy Guy). I let Tweek pick our character and he went for Yoshi.

The first course was selected and it was one of the basic Mario stadium courses. Tweek passed the controller to me and the race began. Clyde and I zoomed off ahead, Token went at a normal start, and Jimmy pressed the button too early and caused his kart to blow up.

“Fuck…f-f-f…f-fuck a duck.” Jimmy curses.

I end up taking the lead by quite a bit, Clyde chasing me in second. He’s super competitive; the kinda guy who leans in the same direction as he steers. He was constantly targeting me; sending red and blue shells in my direction at any chance he could. Typical.

The race ends with me in 1st, Clyde in 2nd, Token in 5th and Jimmy in 8th.

“Loser chugs his beer!!” Clyde makes a terrible suggestion. Jimmy rolls with it anyway, grabbing a can of beer and impressively chugging while Clyde and Token count from 10 down to zero. Jimmy can be a real dark horse. Well…maybe not when it comes to Mario Kart though.

Race number 2 is some sort of jack-and-the-beanstalk type level. Tweek takes the wheel this time, and it proved to have been a bad idea. The road has a lot of holes and tight corners without barriers, and Tweek somehow managed to fall off every single one. It even got to the point where the CPU in first place was lapping him.

Of course, he was very vocal about this. “Jesus are you kidding me?! How are you supposed to make that turn?! HOW?!”

Token ended up in 2nd place, Clyde in 4th, Jimmy in 5th, and Tweek…in last place. Before the other guys could even suggest it, I grabbed my can of beer and chugged for ten seconds. They just looked at me dumbfounded, including Tweek. Like hell was I gonna let Tweek chug his beer; I don’t even think he’s opened his can up yet. We’re a team, and I’m the one who’ll be taking the consequences.

The next race came around and it was one of the Bowser castles. Clyde struggled in this level, while Token, Jimmy and I were in the top three. Clyde, after somehow blaming Token for his loss, ended up coming 9th and chugged his beer like there was no tomorrow.

The last stage loaded up…Rainbow Road. Of COURSE Tweek had to get the two difficult courses... I kept my beer in my hand ready to chug again.

The race starts; there goes Clyde. Plummeting into the void below.

Jimmy starts off pretty well but eventually starts to lose his skill when it comes to the tight corners.

Token is a little better than the other two, but he keeps getting hit with items from the CPUs and ends up being knocked back in the placing.

With Clyde in last, Jimmy in 11th and Token in 9th…where does that put Tweek, I hear you ask? Well... Tweek was driving so slowly and cautiously that he managed to dodge the majority of the corners. Then he got a bullet item on the last lap and soared his way right into 2nd place. He even gave an excited little fist pump when he crossed the finish line.

“…...I think that victory alone deserves a chug from all of you.” I insist, slinging my arm around Tweek. He chuckles in response.

After a few groans and eye rolls, the three of them reluctantly chug their beer while Tweek and I counted down from 10.

~

A couple hours later and Jimmy had decided that we were going to play drinking games. How old were we again?

Tweek even agreed to it, intrigued at what kind of secrets were going to be revealed during this.

“Never have I ever…gotten arrested!” Token starts.

Well…we’ve all been in trouble with the police at some point, but actually arrested? Hmm…I’m sure I got caught with something illegal once. I drink anyway.

Jimmy drinks due to causing grievous bodily harm to his ex girlfriend, Nancy.

Clyde drinks due his whole involvement with the Nazi zombies and stealing the green goo from the government.

Tweek doesn’t drink because he’s never actually been arrested. Of course, he’s still been in trouble with the police like the rest of us back in our ‘vigilante’ days.

Next it was Jimmy’s turn. “N-never have I ever been awake for more than t-t-twenty four hours.”

Clyde doesn’t drink. The dude can’t function without at least 8 hours of sleep.

Token takes a sip while telling us about how one time he’d spent all night studying for finals and then worked a 12 hour shift the next day. He makes way too much work for himself sometimes...

Tweek and I both drink. Do I even need to explain Tweek’s reasoning?

“Uhhh…never have I ever…broken somebody's heart.” Tweek takes his turn.

Fuck, another shot for me. I had no regrets when it came to making girls cry when I was younger. He manages to catch the other three out too; Clyde and Token even clink their cans together, sighing disappointedly. We’re a gang of heartbreakers.

Clyde is up next. “Never have I everrrr…..sent a text to the wrong person!”

Nobody else drinks but Jimmy; I figured he would be pretty flippant in that area.

But then I realised something.

“…wait…that is horse shit.”

Clyde looks at me bewildered. I whip out my phone and bring up Clyde’s texts. I can feel Tweek’s chin resting on my shoulder, taking a peek.

“3 weeks ago. Wednesday, July 10th. 9:24pm. ‘hey babe u looked gorgeous on ur recent instagram pic, u got nice legs’.” I look back up at him with a blank expression, Tweek chuckling next to me.

Clyde goes completely silent for a minute, his face flushing bright pink. Jimmy and Token laugh a little too, Jimmy putting his arm over Clyde in sympathy.

“Are you s-sure he doesn’t just think your legs are nice, C-C-Craig?” Jimmy winks at me.

“Jimmy…when have I ever showed my legs on Instagram.” I scoff.

“There’s a first for everything!” Token jests.

~

In the early hours of the morning we find ourselves sprawled across the floor in our sleeping bags, watching All Dogs Go To Heaven - a film that Tweek had chosen. He was resting his head on my lap, and when it neared the end of the movie, I noticed him sniffing. I reached down and wiped away the tiny bit of water that had appeared under his eye. Meanwhile, Clyde had used up an entire tissue box, Token wasn’t even watching the film because he was cleaning up after Clyde, and Jimmy was making fun of every little aspect of the film.

When the movie finished we moved right onto another one; some cheesy comedy that Token had suggested. Mainly because Tyler Perry was in it.

Clyde was asleep within minutes; mouth wide open and snoring like a pig.

It didn’t take long for Jimmy to doze off too, clearly not impressed with the humour.

Token was now in his bed, snickering to himself and eating potato chips. From the angle he was at, he probably didn’t realise that all four of us were completely disinterested in the movie.

Tweek was snuggled into the side of my neck, slowly drifting into dream world. I drew circles on his back with the tip of my fingers, using my other hand to play with a strand of his thin blonde hair. A few years ago this would have never been a thing; there’d only be the four of us, with Tweek hanging out with entirely different cliques. Luckily the guys were quick to accept him into our group once we started dating, and treated him like one of us immediately.

I guess that’s one of the many things I can thank them for.

----

[lustingtc]

4th March 2019

Y/n! GET BEHIND!!! OmG Y/N!!!!!!!!😭😭

So 💁‍♂️

I saw my boy the very first thing 🙄🙄

He was talking with his boyfriend M and then he walked out of the hall with him..

He never returned

But then right at the end of tutor, he came back with M 🤔🤔 maybe T didn’t get his morning succy 😰😰💔

P got really angry in science at this boy and like 🤭🤭 SCALPED GIRLS ONG

it was kinda hot...but I was kinda scared... so... idk if I gaysmr? Dk

Saw him in the middle of library 😳😳😳

He was walking his yr11 class to IT or smthing 🤢🤢 I said I was gonna push him down the stairs bc his TRIM IS SOOOO DEADDDD!!!1!1!1!1!1! >:((((

God

Anyways then saw T carrying his big ass box of books and he smiled at this yr7 who said hi, bitch looked like a hamster so doubt she’s gonna get dicked down 🤗🤗🤗 lmfao wow that felt mean soz

Every time I see him his gross ass hair ugh 🤢🤢 SICKEN AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY 🤮🤮🤮🤮

TO MAKE IT WORSE

APPARENTLY T LOOKS LIKE LIL XAN

WHAT THE FUCK

But before art (F spanish😪😪😪) 💁‍♂️💁‍♂️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♂️

T ☺️☺️☺️ he was lurkin’ lmao Yh it was gr8 tho

I think he was looking at me 😳😳???? Idk probably not but like I’d like to think bc he hasn’t in awhile...😔😔😔

But then T’s boyfriend M started shouting at us to get to lesson 😆😆😆

Guess what? It gets better!1!1’nq

Bc T was in a circle with his boyfriend M and stinky V 🤢

But they were all chatting and he saw me n the gang being rly fucking dumb jsjsks

He walked right past me and like I looked at him and he had his fucking fingers RIGHT UP HIS NOSE

MY BOYFRIEND IS GAMMYYYY 🤢🤢

God I hate him.

But uwu he had his blazer on and we didn’t see him come back so he probably had smthin important the dumb bitCH 🤧🤧🤧

Anyways

That’s it?

JOKES

O told me that M in her class was like “Yeah me and T went to go see the newest star wars movie last time it came out”

GOD THEY ARE SO GAY!!!

My boyfriend is QUEER!!1!1!1

but me 2... 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💏

And apparently it was his first time seeing a Star Wars movie in English

Tht made me uwu 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 he’s adorable uwuwuwu

[nevermindthewind]

change of plans

The day started like any other, with Wes waking up to a little voice in his ear. “Daddy, you wanna play dinosaurs?” Wes smiled to himself and opened his eyes, only to find himself face to face with a blue eyed, bed-headed boy with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. Wiping the sleep out of his eye he checked his phone, clicking it to check the time. 6:03. Nice. “Sure, Buddy,” he said with a yawn. “Can Daddy make some coffee first though?” “But Mama already made coffee!” the little boy protested. Wes frowned, confused; he was always the first one up. He rolled over, only to find the other side of the bed unoccupied and the sheets all pushed to the side. “Mama beat us this morning!” he exclaimed, pulling the boy onto his lap. “Can you believe it?” He planted a kiss on the boy’s cheek. “Morning, Buddy.” “Morning, Daddy,” he replied. “Should we go make breakfast before dinosaurs?” “Okay. Can I have pa-tarts?” Wes laughed as he lifted the boy and got out of bed, “Sure, just don’t tell Mama. Our little secret, right Seb?” “Right,” Sebastian agreed, bringing his hands to his mouth as a sign of secrecy. Wes set Sebastian down and put on a shirt before padding into the kitchen. He got a packet of strawberry pop tarts out and threw them in the toaster. While he waited for those he got out two bowls, filling one with Froot Loops and the other with Raisin Bran. After drowning both in milk he left Sebastian playing with his favorite velociraptor on the floor and took the bowl of Froot Loops into the guest-room-turned-study, where he figured a stressed out Laurel would be awaiting him. Sure enough, he was right. Her hair was up, her coffee cup plastered to one hand and a report in the other, and the desk was covered in files. He knew her firm had a huge case coming up, and that Laurel was doing the cross but still, Wes hadn't seen her this stressed in a while. He’d have to tread lightly. He knocked before entering, but Laurel didn’t hear him, or if she did she didn’t acknowledge it. Wes walked in anyway, setting the bowl on the table before placing both his hands on her shoulders and gently massaging them. “I brought you some breakfast,” he said softly. “I mean, it’s only cereal, but it’s pretty much the only thing I know how to make without burning anything.” She looked up, smiling at the greeting. “Thank you,” she sighed, leaning back into his chest. “You sleep at all last night?” he asked. “Like three hours? I woke up in a panic at four and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I just decided to come get some work done.” She reached for the sugary cereal and took a bite. “Ugh, the best. Thanks, babe,” she said, planting a kiss on his hand. “Is the little man up yet?” But before Wes could even respond Sebastian came barging into the study. “Daddy my pa-tarts are done!” he announced. Laurel sat up and looked around at Wes, raising her eyebrows. Wes looked away sheepishly. “Buddy that was a secret, remember?” he whispered. Sebastian immediately clapped his hands to his mouth. “Oops.” “Pop tarts, huh?” Laurel said, putting down her bowl and pulling Sebastian onto her lap. “You know, before we know it we’re gonna have a little azúcar monster on our hands.” She tickled Sebastian’s sides, causing him to shriek with laughter. “Mama no! I not a monster!” he laughed. “You sure?” she asked with a smile, tickling his belly this time. Again the boy shrieked before breaking into a fit of giggles. “Yes!” he cried. “Well good,” said Laurel, planting a kiss on Sebastian’s messy curls. “Then a couple pop tarts won’t hurt, will they?” She lifted him up and gave him another kiss, this time on the cheek, before placing him back on the floor. “Te amo, Osito.” “I love you too, Mama,” he said, giving her a toothy smile. Wes loved moments like this, when he could just watch the two of them interact. He adored his son, more than anything, and he knew Sebastian loved him too. But there was no doubt in his mind that, at the end of the day, Seb was a Mama’s boy through and through. Laurel and him had a bond like nothing Wes had ever seen before. Watching them together was like watching magic; he could watch them forever. “Go get in your chair, and Daddy will come bring you your food, okay?” said Laurel, causing Seb to immediately turn and run back to the kitchen. “Really, pop tarts?” she asked, turning her attention back to Wes. “Sorry,” he replied with a guilty grin. “But it’s just so hard to say no to that face!” Laurel huffed with exasperation as she took another bite of Froot Loops. “What am I gonna do with you?” she asked mid chew. Wes bent down and kissed her shoulder. “Love me anyway?” he asked. It’s what they always said to each other when they were stressed or upset or anything. Despite whatever has happened or whatever would happen, they would always love each other. She rolled her eyes before leaning into his touch. “Love you anyway,” she replied with a soft smile. She squeezed his hand before picking up a file. “Want me to take Seb out for the morning? Let you get some work done?” Wes asked. “Would you?” she asked hopefully, once again looking up at him. “I just need a couple hours. Then we can do something fun this afternoon, maybe take Seb to the park over on 4th?” “Sounds great,” he replied, patting her shoulders and leaving her to work in peace. Little did she know what surprise he had in store. After breakfast and dinosaurs Wes got himself and Sebastian ready and out the door in record time. He put Seb in a pair of pale yellow shorts and a navy button down while Wes opted for jeans and a green and navy plaid shirt, both dressing a little nicer than they normally would on a lazy day like today. “Where we going, Daddy?” Seb asked as Wes carried him out to the car. “We’re gonna run a couple errands for Mama,” Wes replied. “I have a surprise for her.” “A surprise?” the boy asked, excitement in his eyes. “Yep, you wanna help me?” Sebastian nodded fervently as Wes set him in the car seat. “What we gonna do?” Wes explained his plan as best he could to a three year old as he buckled him into the car seat. “So it’s just like Dora, right? It goes jewelry store, flowers, Mama. Can you say that?” “Joo-ry store, flowers, Mama,” Seb echoed. -- There were a couple more steps to Wes’ plan, but they still managed to get everything done in about three hours. They got home right as Michaela and Asher were arriving, Asher carrying a giant speaker up to the front door. “Hey dude,” said Asher, clapping Wes on the back as he got out of the car. “Ready for the big event?” “Asher!” Michaela hissed. “You wanna talk a little louder? I don’t think she heard you!” Wes was about to respond, but he got cut off by a very excited toddler yelling from the backseat. “Auntie Kay! Uncle Ash!” “Hi Buddy! How’s my favorite boy?” Michaela asked, moving to the back door to let Sebastian out and smother him with kisses. “Good,” Sebastian replied with a laugh. “Daddy’s giving Mama a ring today!” “I know! Pretty exciting, huh?” she exclaimed before turning to Wes. “And you? You ready?” Wes stuck his hand into his pocket, feeling the velvet box for the hundredth time since picking it up. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he responded, the nerves he’d been harbouring for the past few hours peaking through. “I don’t know why you’re even worried,” Asher commented. “You guys have basically been married since Laurel saved your ass in our first class.” He had a point. Even before they started dating, before Sebastian, they’d been a team first, always having each other’s backs. That sort of bond was immediate, one that was only strengthened by time. He couldn’t keep track of how many times Laurel stood by him when she didn’t have to. And now here they were, four years and one incredible kid later, still standing by each other, still each other’s champion. They’d talked about getting married, multiple times, but it never really seemed like the right time. When Seb was first born they were just trying to survive, trying to figure out how the hell to be parents. Then there was graduation and new jobs and on top of that when you threw a toddler into the mix, a wedding just didn't seem feasible. They were basically married already, why go through the all the theatrics? At least that's what he told Laurel. In reality he'd been planning on proposing since the day he'd realized he loved her, the day he almost lost her. The night of the fire was one of the worst of his life. But after feeling completely and utterly helpless as he watched Laurel fight for her life, after hours of trying to imagine life without her, Wes knew he never wanted to live another second without her. She was, and always would be, the love of his life. After that it was just a matter of time. And now after months of Michaela and him dropping not so subtle hints, the day was finally here. “Not worried, just…” Wes trailed off, “I just hope it all goes smoothly.” “It will,” Michaela replied confidently as they made their way up the stairs. “Just don't fu-” “Uncle Connor! Uncle Ollie!” Sebastian cried as Ollie pulled into the parking lot. “Saved by the Con,” Wes whispered under his breath, to which Michaela gave him a playful shove. “Hey Seb-master!” said Connor, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Hi Sebastian, you ready for the big day?” Oliver asked. “Uh-huh,” Seb murmured under Connor’s hand. “And you?” Oliver asked, looking to Wes. Wes rubbed his beard. He’d be better if he didn't have all these people breathing down his neck. “Let’s get going,” he replied as they all made their way inside the condo. “You guys stay quiet in the kitchen, I'll come get you when it's over.” He takes the flowers and Sebastian from Michaela, leaving the other four as the two of them head into the study. “Alright little man, you ready?” Wes asked, bouncing Sebastian before setting him down and handing him the flowers. “Yep!” Wes took a deep breath before opening the door… Only to find Laurel dead asleep with her head on the desk, her coffee cup still in her hand. It was all Wes could do not to burst out laughing. Of course, after all that planning, she was out like a light, throwing all of his plans out the window. Right on cue the music he’d given to Asher to play began wafting through the house. Thinking on his feet, he waved Sebastian over and the two of them inched closer. “Hi Mama!” Sebastian half whispered. Laurel opened one eye and gave her son a lazy smile. “Hey, Osito. Whatcha got there?” The boy looked up at Wes, who nodded, then handed the bouquet to Laurel. “They're for you,” he said with a shy smile. “Wow, thank you!” she replied. She also looked up at Wes, but in sleepy confusion rather than confirmation. He just gave her a smile as he slid down onto one knee. “What are you doing?” Laurel asked with a yawn, still not fully awake. “I...well I have a question for you,” said Wes, his smile growing. “It's kinda important.” “But I'm sleeping,” she whined. “And why is there music playing?” “It has something to do with what I want to ask you.” Laurel sat up, pulling Sebastian on her lap and looking around. “Hold on...music playing, guy with important question, are you on your knees?” she asked, looking down. He nods. “...on his knees,” she smiled, bringing her hand to his face. “Were you so bored on your errands this morning that you decided to ask me to marry you?” Wes laughed and gave her a tiny nod. “Well, kinda, yeah. Yeah.” Then he took a deep breath and asked the question he'd been wanting to ask her for years. “Will you marry me?” She just looked at him for a bit, a small, unsure smile appearing on her face as his question began to sink in. Finally Wes broke the silence. “Any thoughts on the answer? Yes, no, get out of my face loser? They're all possible.” She stroked Sebastian’s hair as she stared into Wes’ eyes. “Hmmm,” she hummed mischievously. “I think I'll go with...yes.” Wes’ eyes lit up, a huge smile returning to his face. “Really?” She nodded, her smile matching his. Suddenly Wes remembered the ring. Pulling it out and fumbling a little bit, he opened the box and quickly slid the ring into Laurel’s finger. “Thank you for asking me,” she whispered. She brought her hand to the base of his neck, pulling him so close their foreheads touched. “And thanks for not going with one of those melodramatic proposals with a bunch of people. I hate other people.” “Me too,” he agreed, kissing her before pulling away. “I'm just gonna go turn the music off, I'll be right back.” He smiled at her until he closed the door and then raced into the kitchen, where the rest of the K5 were waiting with champagne. He held his finger to his lips before they could freak out. “Hey,” he started at a whisper. “So she’s really tired.” They all exchanged glances but didn't say anything. “So I think we're just gonna stay in. But thanks for all your help!” “Wait what?” Michaela exclaimed. “Yeah, we’ll call you tomorrow. Now go, before she hears you!” And with that he heads back into the office, leaving them to show themselves out, unplugging the speaker on his way out. He opened the door to find Laurel showing off her ring to Sebastian. “Daddy did a good job, didn't he?” Laurel asked him, looking up and smiling at Wes as he entered. “Yeah, good job Daddy!” said Sebastian. “Thanks, Buddy,” he replied, picking the boy up before taking Laurel’s hand and pulling her to her feet. “And thank you,” he murmurs to Laurel, a grin creeping back onto his face. “For what?” she asked, looking up at Wes with a knowing smile. He meant to just say for saying yes, for agreeing to be his wife. But as he locked his brown eyes with Laurel’s blue, with their son on his hip, he knew that would never be enough. For so long he'd been on his own, with no one to rely on but himself. But from the minute Laurel walked into his life he had never been alone. Now he never would be. And that was something words just simply couldn't express. So instead he took his other hand and cupped her face, kissing her slow and deep…well, as deeply as he felt comfortable with Sebastian right there. When they pulled apart she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He laughed as he wiped her cheeks with his thumb. “For loving me anyway.”

[mybodyliberation]

Mooncup Review Part 1

There are some people who are not impacted by their periods. They are able to go about their business being their wonderful selves.

I am not one of those people. A multitude of things happens when I am due on. One of these things being the "Grumps" and phew child, do I get them bad.

I'm not a natural frowner or grimacer, (yes these aren't words but they are for the purpose of today), so when I catch myself grumbling over something sometimes rational, mostly irrational, I know the Grumps have arrived do too will my period.

If you'll follow me on instagram you'll I now last month I was all about period talk on my stories. We wanted the tea and we wanted it now!

What was everyone predominately using, what were our cycles like, were we using any birth control and did we have anything that made our periods harder to deal with?

The census was that mensutral cups were extremely popular, moreson than I anticipated and I want to take a moment to stan all the environmentally aware babes out there having super ethical periods.

I love that we have so many options for what to use during our periods now and it says a lot about where we are heading as a society, though it will be cute when periods are no longer taxed...ahem. *stares directly at camera with utter sass*

Anyway the point is I was tired of using the same old methods of tampons and sanitary towels. As a performer it's often such a pain in the neck having to run to sort yourself during a show and I wanted to banish having to stuff multiple tampons in my backpack just to survive the day. I also know how damaging tampons and pads are environmentally because with the use of plastic it takes years to break down. Yall not to mention its actually not great for our vaginas and that is just the grown up tea.

So with all of that I have been waiting to transition to something new and since I turned 29 this year I realised it was time to suck it up and make the changes I know are right for me.

Enter, the Mooncup!

Truthfully the only reason it's taken me this long to try and mensutral cup is because I am a big baby and overthink. So as you can imagine I'd fashioned several horror movie type scenarios in my hear about what the experience would look like.

Truth be told...it was nothing like I anticipated (no Quentin Tarantino scenes happening during my cycle).

Now background information on a brand is important and so I will link their "About" page because o feel like they articulate their story perfectly themselves. https://www.mooncup.co.uk/who-we-are/our-story/

Now when we got in touch with each other the folks over at Mooncup suggested that the best way to trial the Mooncup was to use it over a period of three months. So you guys will follow me over the next few periods as I give this a go!

It's amazing to see a brand lead by women make something for women. It feels empowering and important and I truly feel like extra care is taken.

Before I get into my experience I think it's good to tell you that Mooncup has a dedicated helpline via email and telephone that connects you to a nurse that can give you proper medical advice and is truly the best asset when it comes to approaching using the cup for the first time. (advice@mooncup.co.uk Tel +44(0) 1273 673 845)

When you open up your box you'll find your cup in a sweet little pouch and an awesomely specific instruction manual on how to start with your cup.

First things first was to make sure I'd sertilized it and so straight into the put of boiling water it went for 5 minutes.

After I left it to cool I headed into the bathroom with my instructions to figure out how to insert.

My cycles can be investing in terms of my moods and symptoms. I feel like I experience every symptom possible on the spectrum and so having a stress free period is important.

I was nervous trying the cup for the first time because honestly it took me ages to even hype myself to try tampons all those years ago. So though the nerves were normal they definitely gave me more stress than necessary when it came to the cup.

So the first thing is, relax. I was rigid and clenched and the anticipation was very heightening to making the experience more painful as I tried to insert.

The first two days of using the cup had me feeling like a gymnast because it was like nothing I did was allowing the cup to insert without pain or super flexibility.

So getting accustomed to breathing and relaxing as it came time to insert the cup was paramount. The more you stress the less likely it will go smoothly and I know that sounds like a given but trust me if this is your first foray to this sort of thing, you're going to be wary.

There are two different fold techniques that the instructions suggest for helping for smooth insertion and I found that the best option for me was folding the cup in half. The cup ends up making sort of a smiling face and depending on the day of my period and if I was light or heavy inserting the cup as a smile or a frown made things slightly easier.

It also helps to make sure that the cup itself is a little bit of water on it because moisture is key for a smoother glide!

At first I was super aware of the cup after insertion, but I suppose the same would be the case when you first try tampons. It's a weird sensation to feel the suction holding onto the walls of the vagina but I promise that after a while you don't even feel it let alone think about it.

You should also know that the first days the cup itself feels very firm and stiff but it does start to give and become more flexible after a fee days.

For the first month this has been trial and error. They first few days I felt like I had conquered a mountain and very bad ass, but on the heaviest days of my period it was a little trickier and I found myself getting frustrated because I do have very heavy days and so making sure the cup was sitting properly for zero leaks took time. I also had to make sure I was clearing out the cup every 3 hours rather than every 4 to 8 because there were some accidents but listen, with tampons and pads the same sort of thing can happen, so I wore a pad on my heavy days as precaution and at the end of the day its learning to monitor your body and figure out what works for you.

Next month for the second cup trial I want to try coupling some period pants with the cup on my heaviest days because I've realised that just for my own peace of mind its better to have extra coverage in case of accidents!

Honestly for the first round it was a success! I thought I would be petrified and irritated and frustrated the whole time but I was much more relaxed and calm and its been really interesting process in getting to know my own body because lets face it, as a plus size woman there is a lot more to navigate.

So for my bigger boos, don't be afraid of your own body! If you need to do gymnastics, DO IT! Your body is capable of more than you think. So get your squat in or lift those legs or spread them!

I went to the gym twice with my mooncup in and I went HARD because we need to know what we can do with it. I didn't feel as if my movement was restricted and I didnt feel as if it would be moving or holding me back in anyway!

Going out in public with the cup in felt scary because truthfully I felt that as soon as I walked out the door I would bleed everywhere but that just didnt happen. I was able to go around my business. One of my worries was when I would wee that it would leak or move but that never happened once. And after the 4th day of my cycle I felt comfortable to take it out and empty and reinsert. Thankfully I was in bathroom after bathroom with sinks but in the future I do know its important to carry a wee bottle of water with me to be able to clean out the cup if I need to but I'm in an isolated cubicle.

Now for those who are differently abled please don't hesitate to use the service of contacting the nurse via the mooncup website so that you can get some safe and comfortable suggestions on how to insert the cup without worrying about hurting or disconcerting yourself.

I was shocked with how quickly my hands adapted to insertion and how quickly I became comfortable with having to do it. We are capable of change and adapting and I often forget that when I get stuck in a routine.

So right now the pros are without a doubt outwieghing the cons and honestly what are the cons because I'm saving money, helping the environment and I'm being kinder my vagina (cause no fibres in this boo)

So stay tuned my beauty! This was the first trial and I'm really pleased with myself for challenging myself and with the cup for being my new assistant.

Watch this space for part 2!

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: 2 Fast 2 Furious

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Continue Our Look At The Fast And Furious Films By Talking By Talking About The First Sequel, 2 Fast 2 Furious...

Taking Place A Few Years After The Original, Former Cop Brian O'Connor (Played By The Late Paul Walker) Is Brought In By The Hard Assed FBI Agent From The Last Film, Wilkins To Help Take Down A Drug Lord Named Carter Verone (Played By Cole Hauser) But To Do This Brian Is Going To Need The Help Of An Old Childhood Friend (Played By Tyrese Gibson) A Sexy Undercover FBI Agent (Played By Eva Mendes) And A Smart Mechanic (Played By Rapper Ludacris) And His Part...Fu...Lo...(I Don't Know What She Is But She's Played By Devon Aoki) To Do It...

So, Let's Dive Into 2 Fast 2 Furious And See If Its As Good Or Bad As Everyone Says It Is...

Before We Start The Film I Think It's Best That I Quickly Go Over The Prelude Short That Was Released With A Special Edition Of The Original Movie And All Releases Of The Second Movie...

Taking Place After The First Movie, We See That Brian Is Officially On The Run After Letting Dom Escape In The Original Movie...

Going To State To State To Try To Dodge The Police, Brian Becomes A Street Racer Getting Money For Winning Wherever He Goes....

Sleeping At A Motel One Night, Brian Sees A Beautiful Girl At A Cafe But Unfortunately Cops Prevent Them From Meeting. Brian Runs Into Her 2 More Times When He's Checking Out Of His Hotel And When He's David Bannering It When Cops Find His Car...

Dropping Brian Off At A Car Dealership, He Gets A New Car, Placing The Right Components In It So He Can Continue Street Racing...

Continuing His Long Journey, Brian Meets 2 Men With Girls On Bikes But Despite Giving Them The...

Look, Brian Isn't Dumb Enough To Race Them So As They're Given Tickets By The Police As Brian Goes Right By Them Unnoticed...

While Continuing His Street Racing Career, Brian Arrives In Miami...

Where The Film Starts...

If You Want To See The Prelude For Yourself It's Right Here...

Now, On With The Film...

Starting In Miami, A Street Race Is Being Set Up By Tej (Played By Ludacris, Who Looked Better In The Sequels Than He Does Here, Seriously, Early 2000 Ludacris, 1970 Called And They Want The Afro Back) With 3 Racers Including Tej's...I Don't Know What She Is...Suki (Played By Devon Aoki)...

No, It's Not Sookie, It's Suki!

Now, As I Was Saying, With 3 Racers At The Starting Line Including Suki And 2 Other Guys Whose Names I Don't Know (So We'll Just Call Them Guy 1 And Guy 2), There Unfortunately Can't Be A Race But With Tej Offering To Bring In A Fourth Racer And Everybody Agreeing To Race Whomever Tej Chooses, He Makes A Phone Call And Guess Who Tej Chooses?...

Yep, It's Brian, However Before He Decides To Join He Wants To Raise The Stakes: $3,500 To Enter And The Winner Takes The Pot, So, With Each Contender Accepting, The Racers Go To Their Vehicles, And The Race Begins!

It's Hard To See Who's Where Throughout The First Half Of The Race But From What I Can Tell Brian Is In Second Place With Guy 1 In The Lead While Guy 2 Is Blocking Suki Who Is In 4th Place...

Brian Takes The Lead For A Second Only For Guy 1 To Take The Lead Again When He Activates His Nos...

Meanwhile, Guy 2 Gets Passed By Suki When She Makes A Wide Turn. Now, All Throughout The Evening, Tej Has Been Saying He Has A Surprise For Everyone Well, It Turns Out That Tej Has Hijacked The Bridge So That The Cars Will Jump When They Cross...

That's Just Awesome!

And So, As They Reach The Bridge, Brian Activates His Nos And Goes Right Over Guy 1...

Meanwhile, Suki Activates Her Nos To Jump The Bridge While Guy 2 Says "Screw This, I'm Not Ruining My Car"

With Brian The Winner, Guy 1 Crashes Into A Pepsi Billboard As Suki Comes In Second. Despite Talking With A Woman He Saw In The Crowd, Police Arrive On The Scene, Brian Manages To Get Away However A US Customs Agent Named Markham (Played By James Remar, An Actor Who's Known For His Role As Richard Wright On Sex And The City But Has Recently Appeared On The CW's Black Lightning As Peter Gambi) Uses An Electronic Weapon That Causes Brian's Car To Stop And Brian Is Arrested By Police...

Being Interrogated By Markham, He Is Soon Confronted By Bilkins Who...Wait A Minute We're Missing A Scene Here, Guys!

Well, We're Here, Now So, I Guess We'll Talk About This. Markham Tells Brian Everything About A Man Named Carter Verone (Played By Cole Hauser) While Saying That Despite The Cartels Being Successful Getting Drugs Into Miami, They've Had A Hard Time Getting The Cash Out. Surveilling Him For About A Year, They've Found Nothing To Put Verone And The Money Together...

They've Even Had An Undercover Agent Placed Inside Of Verone's House That Works Travel And Logistics For Him However Recently, Verone Has Placed Her In Charge Of Finding New Drivers. But Despite Brian Believing That She's Turned Into A Double Agent When Bilkins Say That He Can't Confirm Her Status, Markham Defends Her None The Less Saying That She's Been With Verone For About A Year To The Point That She Lives At A Compound With Him...

But Why Is Brian There You May Be Asking? Well, Turns Out They Need Good Drivers Put Verone And His Money Together So, Bilkins Makes Brian A Deal If He Plays Ball With Both U.S Customs And The FBI, He'll Be Granted Full Amnesty Of Everything He Did In LA...

Teaming Brian Up With A Fellow Agent Named Dunn, Brian Basically Thinks That Dunn's An Idiot When It Comes To Motors...

And That If He's Going To Do This He's Got To Pick The Driver, So, Asking Who He Would Choose, Brian Decides On An Old Friend Of His Named Roman Pierce (Played By Tyrese Gibson)

Visiting A Demolition Derby Where Pierce Works, He's Not Happy To See Brian, REALLY Not Happy To See Brian...

Eventually Placing Roman In A Choke Hold, He Asks Brian Why He's Here And Brian Tells Him That If He Helps Him They'll Take Off That Tracking Bracelet Of His And They'll Clean His Record...

Asking Bilkins If Brian's Deal Is Legit, He Tells Roman That It Is And Despite Acting Like He Won't Accept It, Brian Knows That Roman Will And He Does As They're Both Driven There, But Once There, Roman Is Having Second Thoughts As He Doesn't Trust Brian...

And With The Way Dom Reacted In The Last Movie When He Found Out That Brian Was A Cop, I'm Not Very Surprised...

Arguing With Roman About Blaming Him Ever Since He Got Caught. Brian Tells Roman To Chill Out, Stop Blaming Him And To Take Responsibility...

Entering A Wherehouse, They're Introduced To The Undercover Agent Who's Monica Fuentes (Played By Eva Mendes) And Is The Same Woman That Brian Talked To At Tej's Street Race...

Somewhere In Brian's Head He's Got To Be Thinking...

Telling Them That Verone Is Looking For Drivers And That She Arranged For Them To Join Up, She Even Hired Some Thugs To Make It Look Legit Which Leads Her To Show Them To Their Cars...

And I Can Tell You Right Now That, I Love Roman's Car...

The Purple With The Detail Is Stunning And The Tail Fin Gives It An Added Dash Of Flair To It

Taking Them To Verone's, Fuentes Rides With Brian In The Yellow While Roman, Of Course Takes The Stylin Purple...

While On The Road, Brian Talks With Fuentes About How Long She's Been Undercover But All She Tells Him Is To Keep His Eyes On The Road....

Uh, Hi, People Besides You Are In The Car, Brian I Suggest You Look At The Road Instead Of How Sexy Fuentes Eyes Are!, It's Like Phil Told Hercules!...

(Start At 2:35, End At 2:37)

But Turns Out It's All A Trick That Roman Taught Him Years Ago...

Arriving At Verone's, Brian And Roman Are 2 Of Many That Are Looking For This Job. Meeting With The Big Man After Getting Through His Guards Roberto And Enrique, Verone Tells That His Red Ferrari Was Confiscated Yesterday And Was Taken To An Impound Lot, It Has A Package In The Glove Box That Needs To Be Returned To Him And The First Team To Do That Will Work For Him And So, After Showing Their Licenses To Verone's Guards Its...

(Start At 0:00 End At 0:06)

Racing Off To The Impound Lot, Brian And Roman Are The First Ones There But When Going To Get The Packages But They're Unfortunately Confronted By Markham Who Lojacked Their Vehicles And Believes That Both Brian And Roman Are Trying To Run...

Shooting At Them Isn't Showing Them That You're Not Trying To Run, Roman...

Returning To Verone's, He Gives Verone The Package Where It's Revealed That This Whole Test Was Just To Get A Lousy Cigar!

And If This Is Biggest Punch In The Gut You've Gotten, Guess What He Owns The Impound Lot Too...

(Start Video At 0:25)

If You've Survived Your Mental Breakdown Of How Dumb Verone's Test Was, You'd Know That They Got Verone's Job, Turns Out He Needs Them To Carry Something From North Beach To The Keys, He Won't Tell Them What Just Get There , Don't Let Anybody Stop Them And When They Finish There'll Be $100,000 For Them

While Roman Tries To Negotiate $100,000 Per Person, Verone Invites Them To His Club Called The Pearl At Midnight To Get To Know Each Other A Little Better...

Going To Tej's Garage, Brian Asks A Friend Named Jimmy To Check Out Their Cars While Talk With The Who's Dealing With Jet Ski Racing....

Asking If Roman Can Use A Cot Of Tej's ,Tej Says It's Okay As Brian And Roman Go To Talk With Jimmy About Their Cars And They Didn't Just Lowjack Them They Lowjacked Them To The Max!

Asking Jimmy To Try His Hardest To Make Them Less Inconspicuous And What's Worse, Verone's Boys Are Following Them Which Calls For A Little Distraction...

Wow, That's Racist...

Going In Brian's Car, Roman Drives Off, Leaving Verone's Boys In The Dust...

Going To The Safehouse To Fill Bilkins In On What's Going On, They Find Markham With Him And He's Incredibly Pissed Off...

You Know, Roman Wouldn't Have Shot At You If You Didn't Lowjack Their Cars, Trust Is A 2 Way Street, Markham, Try It, It'll Do Wonders For You...

Anyway, Telling Them That They'll Be Making A Run For Verone, They Just Don't Know When Or Where, They Mention That Verone Bought A Window With The Local Cops, Dunn Offers To Ask Around But Bilkins It's A Bad Idea As They Don't Want To Blow The Operation Brian Also Says That Verone Will Be At The Drop Off. Bilkins Sees It As An Opportunity To Nab Him But Roman Says They Have One Probem And It's Fuentes...

Telling Them That Verone Is Banging Her, Markham Thinks It's Obsurd But Asks What Brian Thinks About Fuentes Being A Possible Double Agent As Brian Would Know Which Is Where Markham Spills The Beans To Roman On What Happened With Dom That Cost Brian His Badge...

Saying That They'll Keep An Eye On Fuentes, Brian And Roman Leave Which Is Where Roman Asks Brian About Dom, But He Doesn't Want Talk About It Which Is Fine But They Have Other Problems Besides Fuentes Being With Verone Including The Fact That Markham Tried To Blow Their Cover And That They Got 2 Wired Cars That Aren't Going To Helpful To Either Of Them, Realizing This Leads Brian To Say That They Need To Come Up With An Exit Strategy...

Knowing That In Order To Do This They're Going To Need 2 More Cars, They Team Up With Tej And Suki To Challenge 2 Muscle Car Drivers They Met When Trying Out For Verone To A Race, Winner Takes The Loser's Cars

With Roman Racing Against Fabio (Which Is What Roman Calls Him) Suki Waves The Flag As Fabio Takes The Lead, With Roman In Second, Turning Around, Fabio Is Still In The Lead, But Activating His Nos, Roman Catches Up Which Leads Fabio To Cheat By Knocking A Sign In Front Of Roman...

With Round 2 About To Begin, Elvis (Which Is What Roman Calls Guy 2) Takes Off When Fabio Crosses The Finish Line And Brian Starting After Roman Crosses, With Elvis Still In The Lead After Making The Turn Brian Decides To Pull A Move Of Desperation By Coming Straight At Elvis...

(Start At 0:28, End At 0:32)

Well, Look's Like He Just Took Your Balls, Pal...

With Elvis Restarting His Car And Brian Catching Up By Using Nos, Brian Manages To Win It By A Nose...

So, They Get The Cars And Fabio And Elvis Go Home With Nothing But Thank You For Playing...

Going To Verone's Club, The Pearl, It Is A Cesspool Of Activity. Running Into Fuentes, She Tells Them That They're Doing Something Right As Verone Never Socializes With The Help...

While Roman Uses The Bathroom, Brian Talks With Fuentes Who's Having A Problem With Roman's Attitude Brian Just Says He Doesn't Trust Cops Before Telling Her Their Backstory, Turns Out Brian Was Only A Cop 2 Months Before Roman Was Busted In A Garage Raid Over 8 Sets Of Wheels In His Possession All Of Them Stolen, Of Course, Brian Didn't Know That The Raid Was Going Down But It Didn't Matter Once He Became A Cop, Roman Saw Him As A Friend Who Became The Enemy..,

When Roman Returns, They Are Brought Before Verone Who Noticed Brian Talking With Fuentes...

Talking With Roman About Lighting His Guard's Car On Fire Near Tej's, Roman Tells Verone That He Has A Problem With Authority Figures To Which Verone Is Right There With Him...

Taking Them All Upstairs To Meet With Lt. Flass From Batman Begins (Actually His Name Is Detective Wentworth, But For The Sake Of My Knowledge Of Comic Book Movies, I'm Calling Him Lieutenant Flass) An Officer On Verone's Payroll Who He Asks About The Window But Flass Has Said That He Can't Do It Which Is Gonna Be Painful For Him...

Placing A Bucket With A Rat On Flass' Body, Verone Tells Him That When The Bucket Gets Hot Enough, The Rat Will Want Out And By Out, He Means Digging Through His Stomach!

I Think I'm Beginning To Miss Batman Going...

(Start At O:30, End At 0:33)

Asking Again For The 15 Minute Window, Flass Tells Him Again That He Can't Do It But Eventually He Gives Saying That He'll Do It...

Verone Warns Flass That If He Betrays Him, He'll Do The Same Thing He Did Here To His Entire Family And Kill Them All...

Wait A Minute! Did They Bleep Verone Out Here?

The Complete Line He Gives To Flass Is "I'll Burn Your F※※※※※※ Eyes Out" Which Could Be Understandable If The Movie Was Shown On Tv And The Network Decided To Bleep It Out That Would Fine But Why Was It Bleeped Out In The Final Cut? Were They Close To An R Rating To The Point That The Only Way The MPAA Would Let The Film Slip With PG-13 Rating Was If They Bleeped Out This One Word In This One Scene? If Anyone Knows Please I Would Really Love To Know Why This Scene Is The Way It Is In This Movie...

And So, With The 15 Minute Window Confirmed, Verone Tells The Boys To Be At Versailles Cafe, 6:00 Am, The Day After Tomorrow, Ready To Drive. Leaving With Fuentes, Verone Kisses Her And Says That If She Ever Touches Another Man, He'll Kill Her...

Returning To Tej's Garage, Brian And Roman Argue About Fuentes' Alligences As They Watch Tej, Suki And Jimmy Play Cards...

The Next Morning, Sneaking Out Of Verone's Compound, Fuentes Sits On Brian's Bed When He Wakes Up To Tell Him That Verone Plans On Killing Him And Roman When They Finish His Job. Roman Enters Telling Brian That Verone's Boys Are Here Possibly Looking For Monica So Roman Decides To Distract Them While Monica Gets Away...

When Brian Gets Out, They Search His Boat To Find Nothing But That Doesn't Stop Roman From Starting A Fight...

When Verone Stops The Fight, He Says That He's Glad Everyone's Getting Along Because His Boys, Enrique And Roberto Are Going To Join Them Tomorrow, Just As Insurance...

Seeing Fuentes At His Compound, Verone Asks Her Where She's Been With Her Telling Him That She Went To Breakfast With Some Friends...

And He Backs Off..

Returning To Talk With Bilkins And...

(Laughing)

I'm Sorry, But That Outfit On Bilkins Makes Him Look Like Magnum, T.C., And Higgins Combined Together To Form One Guy...

Anyway, They Tell Markham And Billkins About The Cop That Verone Threatened Into Giving Him A 15 Minute Window And That Verone Is Driving To An Airstrip Where He'll Fly Off. Brian Also Tells Them That Monica Warned Them That Verone Plans On Killing Them Once He Has The Cash...

Not Being What Bilkins Signed Up For He Wants To Call This Off, But Markham Says That If Anyone Is Calling It Off, It's Him...

Markham Tells Brian And Roman To Do What They Were Brought In For Or They'll Go To Jail, Plain And Simple. So, With Chances Of Survival Being Very Slim, They Decide To Come Up With Their Own Plan To The Point That They Even Get Tej Involved As He Shows Them Hangars At An Airport...

I Think This Calls For A Montage!

With Things All Set, Roman And Brian Go To The Pier For To Talk. There They Talk About Why Roman Is So Interested In Food (Apparently It Has To Do With A High Metabolism) And Brian Tells Roman That If He Could Have Done Something To Get Him Out Of Jail He Would've But Roman Tells Brian That It's Not His Fault And That It's All His Plain And Simple...

The Next Morning, Verone And Fuentes Head Down To The Airstrip, Flass Keeps The Cops Distracted And Brian And Roman Are Led By Enrique And Roberto To A Trailer Park Where The Money Is However It Turns Out That Flass Has His Men In The Exact Same Area, Uh Oh...

Yep, Flass Decided To Double Cross Verone And Send The Cops After Brian, Roman And Verone's Boys..

Well. I Guess He Can Kiss His Family Goodbye Maybe Instead Of Rats Verone Will Use Scarecrow's Fear Gas On Them..

Hearing The Cops, They Pack Up But Before They Go, Roman Plays A Game Called Bowling For Cop Cars...

Strike!

Still Being Chased By Cops, They Head South Down I-95, But The Police Use The Same Weapon That Markham Used Earlier To Get Brian Which Forces Brian To Climb Out The Window To Get It Off...

Succeeding, Brian Throws It At A Police Car Which Causes A Crash Of Police Cars...

With The Police Still Following Them, They Head To The Airport Where They Enter Some Hangars...

But When They Come Out...

The Police Cars Get Hit By Some Trucks So That A Cadre Of Cars Can Come Racing Out Of The Hangars...

And It's Not Just 10 Or 20 Cars, I'm Talking Billions Of Cars!

You're Damn Right To Say That, Lady...

Eventually Finding Brian And Roman's Car, They're Unfortunately Cornered By The Cops Who Discover That Brian And Roman Aren't In Their Cars!

Turns Out Tej And Suki Pulled A Fast One On The Officers And Decided To Take Brian And Roman's Cars While Brian, Roman And Verone's Men Took 2 Different Cars That Managed To Get Away From The Officers...

And It's Here We Say Goodbye To Tej And Suki Though We Do See Tej Again In Future Sequels Along With Both Brian And Roman Suki Never Appears Again And To Her I Will Say The Same Thing I Said To Leon In The Last Movie, We Hardly Knew Ye, Though Unlike Leon I Do Hope We See Her Again In A Sequel In The Future, I Mean If Fuentes Can Appear In A Cameo I'm Sure They Can Get Her To Appear Either In A Cameo Or As A Member Of Dom's Family...

Anyway, Since They're Safe, Brian And Roman Realize There's Only One Thing Left To Do And That's To Say Goodbye To Enrique And Roberto With Their New Ejector Seats!

However Before Brian Can Eject Either Enrique Or Roberto (I Don't Know Which Is Which) The Guy Is Like Get Off At Tarpon Point But Brian Knows That There's No Airstrip At Tarpon Point The Guy Is Like Who Said Anything About An Airstrip...

Okay, Let Me Back Up A Little Here...

While Everything Was Going Down With Brian And Roman, Markham Was At The Airstrip To Get Verone However, When Him And SWAT Covered Verone's Vehicle They Discovered That Verone And Fuentes Weren't There...

Yep, The Location Was A Decoy!

Calling Roman, Brian Tells Him Everything As He Arrives At The Rendezvous With Jimmy...

Arriving At A Dock Brian Sees Verone With Fuentes As They Get The Money Out Of Brian's Car With Brian Telling Verone That The Rest Of His Cash Is On It's Way In Another Car Asking About The Agents At The Airstrip, Brian Denies Everything But Verone Says He Only Told One Person About The Airstrip And That's Monica...

Getting Monica On The Boat, Verone Tells His Henchman To Hide The Car And Kill Brian But When They Hide The Car, Brian Hits The Ejector Switch (Which Doesn't Work, Good Job, Tej) But Luckily Roman Shows Up Which Gives Brian Time To Fight The Guy...

Managing To Subdue The Henchmen , Brian And Roman See That Verone Is On The Move So, Getting In Brian's Car They Follow Him Only To Do A Dukes Of Hazzard Right Into His Boat...

With Brian Shooting Verone In The Shoulder, Fuentes Grabs Verone's Shotgun, One Way Or Another They Got Him...

Telling Them About 3 Bags Of Cash, Markham Promises Them That Their Records Are Clean Which Makes Roman Pop Out 3 More Bags...

Watching Verone Get Healed By Paramedics, Bilkins Tells Them That Suki And Tej Have Been Released From Hold Up And There's A Sedan Ready To Go. And I Would Say That This Is The Last Time We See Monica Fuentes But As I Said When I Was Talking About Suki We See Her Again At The End Of Fast Five So, I'm Not Going To Say Goodbye To Her But I Will Do This...

Walking Off With Roman, They Talk About Opening A Garage In Miami But How Are They Going To Do It Well...

(Laughing)

And That's 2 Fast 2 Furious And It's Not Bad Or At Least Not As Bad Some People Thought When It First Came Out...

When This First Came Out People Didn't Like This Movie They Thought It Wasn't The Same Without Vin Diesel And Director Rob Cohen (Who Instead Of Doing The Sequel They Decided To Make Their Own Film, XXX) To Which When This Film Didn't Do Good, They Brought Diesel Back For A Cameo In The Third Film, Tokyo Drift Which We'll Briefly Talk About Next Week But My Opinions On This Film Are That, I Think The Story Is Good, The Characters Are Interesting, The Cars For What We See Are Well Designed However, The Villain Can Be A Little Dumb At Times But Still I Say See It...

Until Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[justanotherinterludeff]

13

I'm selfish I want you all to myself I swear You don't need nobody else I swear I want you all to myself Because I'm selfish, yeah

Selfish x PnB Rock

I hated making big decisions. Partially because I felt like no matter how many times I went over the decision in my head, it was always wrong. The next part was just because I didn’t really care for change. It’s been something I struggled with since I was a little kid. 

 So, when I decided to move out of my mama house, the shit was a little confusing. I worked hard to pay my mother’s mortgage off and keep her financially stable. It was the least I could do since she helped me raise Leilani. So, I knew I had to leave her with my mom when I made the decision to move out. 

Leilani deserved to grow up normally. Be in school, have friends, a real life. My lifestyle was dangerous, and having Lei live with me was too fucking dangerous. I wasn’t risking my daughter’s life for no amount of easy money. It wasn’t like I was moving to another state. I would just be a 30 minute ride from my mother’s house. 

But I couldn’t tell Lei that. When she saw all the boxes packed with all my things, she was confused. I sat her down and let her know what things would be from now on. I was confident in my decision, but the second she started crying, I felt like shit. 

 "Please, don’t leave me daddy.“ She sniffled. To say my heart hurt would be an understatement. A nigga felt like shit. I promised her I would come see her everyday, but that just seemed to make her cry harder. When it was time for me to get going, she wouldn’t even come out of her room to say goodbye to me. I went in either way and kissed her forehead before letting her know I loved her. 

 That was three weeks ago, and I was still feeling like shit. Every day I’d wake up in this room and she was the first thing I thought about. That lil girl really had my whole heart, and the fact that she was sad about this was fucking with me. I was snapped out of my little daze when my phone rang. Figuring it would be the moving company that’s been calling all week, I didn’t bother to look at the caller ID. 

“Yeah.” I huffed into the phone. “Okay, first off, that’s not how you answer a phone.” My sister mouthed off. “What’s up Naomi?” I sighed. “I have a surprise for you.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “I ain’t really in the mood for no surprises, Omi.” I washed my hand over my face. 

“Well, it ain’t about what you want right now. Come open your door.” She snapped before hanging up. The three beeps went off in my ear before I moved the phone from my ear. I sighed and prepared myself for whatever my crazy ass sister considered a surprise. 

I left my bedroom and swung the door open, “Surprise!” Naomi stood there with her arms open. I kissed my teeth. “Okay, that’s just rude.” She rolled her eyes. “It ain’t a surprise if you here every other day, Naomi.” Which was true. Ever since I left my mama’s house, she was here all the time. Partly to help me move in and get the place decorated, but still.

“It is a surprise if I bring somebody with me though.” She smiled before waving whoever over. My brows knitted before I saw Leilani saunter her way over to the front door. She ran straight over hugging my legs. I bent down and scooped her up before throwing her in the air repeatedly, while her giggles filled the hallway. 

“Alright, can we move the love fest inside please?” My sister suggested and we all made our way inside. After the kisses stop, Leilani just laid her head on my shoulder and continued to hug me tight. I swear, that’s all I needed. I was alright now. “I love you, daddy.” “I love you too, princess.”

“Grandma said that I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.” He little voice trailed. “It’s okay baby. Don’t even worry about it.” I sat us both down on the couch and she curled her way into me. She looked up at me with eyes that were just like her mother’s. 

“Did the furniture for her room come yet?” Naomi asked making me break our stare. “Nah, they supposed to be here any minute though.” She nodded and went off to the kitchen. “Come here, Lei.” I stood her up and walked her down the hallway of the three bedroom condo. I directed her to the first room on the right hand side.

“This is gonna be your room.” I let her know. She walked around a little bit, before looking back at me. “But, I don’t have a bed. Or any toys here.” She looked at me for answers. “Don’t worry, I bought you a bed, and a dresser, all that. It’s coming later. We gon’ get you some toys and clothes too. That way when you come over, you’ll have everything you need.” 

“How come I can’t stay?” Her puppy dog eyes doing something to me again. I sighed. “Trust me princess, I want you to stay, but daddy… Daddy has to be at work all the time. I gotta make money so you can have everything you want and take care you you, grandma, and Auntie Nae.” “So, that’s why I stay with grandma?” She asked and I nodded. 

“How come I don’t have a mommy?” She cocked her head to the side. “When Cassidy can’t stay with her daddy, she stays with her mommy. Where’s my mommy?” Cassidy’s name came up a lot these days. She was slowly but surely turning into Leilani’s bestfriend. She saw their family dynamic and I guess she got curious.

Leilani was like her mother; curious. She always had questions about everything. Why was the sky blue? How come she had to go to school? Where did babies come from? All this from a four year old. She had questions about everything, and it was up to me, my mama, and Naomi to give her answers.

This question though, stumped me. I didn’t wanna lie to her and tell her she didn’t have a mother, because she did. But, I also didn’t know how to tell her that her mother up and left her when she was only months old. “Uh..” I started. “You do have a mommy. She carried you in her belly for nine months, made sure you was nice and healthy when you were ready to come out.” 

“Then, where is she?” She asked. “Uh, mommy, uh. She um.. She left for a little bit.” “Is she coming back?” “Uh, I don’t know princess.” I told her honestly. “Well, if she does, can I stay with her when you have to go to work?” “We’ll see baby.” I ran my hands through her curls and kissed her forehead. 

I could hear the doorbell ring and I knew it was the people with the furniture. “Brysonnn!” I heard Naomi call. I scooped Lei up and through her over my shoulder while she laughed. “Coming!”

“Do you wanna get the Dory fruit snacks or the Frozen ones?” Naomi asked Leilani. She sat in the cart, weighing her options. It was funny as hell to me, she sat here really thinking over some fruit snacks. “Hm, let’s do Dory. I have Anna and Elsa all over my room anyways.” She grinned. 

It was true. The movers dropped off everything Lei would need in her room and we were in Walmart getting her everything else she would need. Well, Nae was and I was just tagging along to pay for everything. She chose all things Frozen for her bedroom. Sheets, curtains, all that shit. 

Naomi was also helping me get stuff for the spare bedroom, and some stuff for mine as well. Plus we had to get groceries, so this trip would be a big one. We had gotten everything w would need for the bedrooms. The groceries were last.

“Daddy, can we get Oreos too? I love oreos.” “Anything you want princess.” I replied. Naomi rolled her eyes and grabbed the cookies for her. “What?” “This little girl is beyond spoiled.” “So?” I chuckled. “I'm just saying. You think it's cute now, wait until she's 16 and you buy her a BMW instead of the Benz she wanted and she throws a fit. I can see your old ass now. 'I'm sorry princess, daddy's gonna get you the right one. Matter of fact, keep this one. I'm gonna get you Benz too.'" She shook her head while I cracked up.

“Nah, she ain’t ever gonna get that bad. Ain’t that right lil mama?” I asked pinching her cheeks. “What’s a BMW?” She asked looking at her auntie. “See.” I chuckled. We continued down the aisles. I made sure to stock up on spaghetti and spaghetti sauce. I made a mental note to get some ground beef too. Considering that’s all a nigga could put together. 

“So, what’s up with you and Mack?” Considering I see Mack’s bitch ass every day, I heard my sister’s name more often than I did when I was living at home. All he talked about was Naomi. Shit was lowkey annoying. No lie, I was happy shit was going good for them. My bestfriend was happy and so was my sister. For everyone’s sanity, this was a good thing. 

“We’re great.” She grinned. “We went on another date last night. Annnddd he invited me to his pool party on the 4th.” I made a face. “Ain’t you always invited to the pool party on the 4th?” I chuckled thinking about the party that was this Saturday. Every since that nigga got his own crib, he made it a habit to have a pool party on the 4th of July every year. “And do I ever make it a mission to go?” I thought about it.

“Nah.” I answered finally. “Exactly.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh so now you gonna go cause that’s your boyfriend?” I asked. “He’s not my boyfriend... yet.” She smirked. I shook my head. “Aren’t you going?” She asked. “Hell yeah! Every year Mack got all the baddest women- I mean he use to.” I corrected myself seeing the look on her face. 

“Yeah, good save.” She rolled her eyes. “Look, that nigga might be taken, but I’m not. I can look.” “Wait, I thought you and Z was...?” “You thought wrong.” I chuckled. “No, I’m not! You liked her! What happened?” She questioned. “We just had little misunderstanding, and we stopped talking.” I explained. Naomi though, wanted to know the whole story. So, I let her know what happened. 

The last time Z and I spoke was about a month ago. The same night everything went down. Shit really just went left. After I made a couple drops, collected some money, I got a text from Jelani letting me know what the move for tonight was. I had canceled on seeing Z earlier today, so I was free. I get there, wasn’t in the mood to drink cause I was driving home, so I sparked up the blunt. 

Imagine my surprise when all I wanted to do was chill and smoke my blunt, and I feel somebody slip themselves on my lap. Cierra was somebody I’d see whenever I went out.  Mack and I went to high school with ole girl, and she had a reputation then, and it surely followed her. She was thirsty no lie. In no way, shape, or form, was I interested in Cici. Her sitting on my lap was beyond innocent. For me at least. 

When I seen Zemora pass by, I knew it wasn’t the weed making me trip. I shooed Cierra out my lap and made my way to her because I knew there was no way she ain’t see us. But, the second a nigga tried to explain himself, she shut that shit down. I understood, considering the way shit looked. So I showed up and her crib, explained, and she still wasn’t having it. 

I knew when I was mad, I hated when people still persisted to speak to me. So I gave her her space. I think that was way too much space, cause it’s been a whole 4 weeks since we’ve talked, much less seen each other. I completely avoided going by her crib. Hence why Nae was always by my house. 

“That girl Cierra always been a ho- thot.” Naomi made sure to change her wording remembering Lani was still in our presence. “Word.” “What’s crazy is, she hasn’t even said anything about it.” She thought for a second. “Then again I ain’t really been home.” She said more so to herself.

“Where you been at?” I hit her with a side eye. “Work.” She giggled before walking off. She better not play with me.

Saturday, July 4th

“Issa bad bitch. Issa bad bitch. Issa bad bitch.” Juju danced while she clapped the flap iron together. We were getting ready to head out to Mackai’s pool party and she was already turnt. “Can you chill with the “Issa” shit, issa annoying.” I rolled my eyes. 

“First off, that’s not even how you use it! Issa dummy.” She cracked up. I rolled my eyes and continued to run the comb through my bundles. I was really feeling this lioness look I had going on with this hair. I pushed it all over to one side and admired myself in the mirror. 

“Oh shit! Did Mackai do that?” She said inspecting my neck. My hand went to my neck, feeling how sore certain spots were. I wanted to slap myself for not remembering that he had left his mark on me two days ago. I spent the night at his house and things got a little heated. That was the farthest we had gone. And with the kisses Mackai was just laying on my neck alone, I was shook. 

“Who else would it be?” I giggled fixing my hair so it covered everything. “Mmm, girl. You are getting really serious about my big head brother.” She shook her head. It was true. In the short time me and Mackai started dating, my feelings for him had grown drastically. 

I was all about him. Literally, from the moment I woke up, to the second I went to sleep he was who I thought about or was talking to or about. Maybe because it was because I’d liked him for so long and we were finally doing something about it. I’m not entirely sure what it was about... but I was really feeling it. Really feeling him. 

“Something like that.” I smirked. “Nigga look like he was eating your damn neck. That’s all he was eating right?” She smirked and I died laughing. “Don’t be nosy.” I playfully bumped her. “So much for you not liking him.” She shook her head. “I know right.” I sighed. Boy, how the tables turn.

“Naomi!” I heard Z call from the other room. I yelled back, answering her, and she called me to her room. “Honest opinion, how do I look?” She posed quickly. “Bitchhhhhhh!” I gasped. Now, I could tell that Z had a great body when she was dressed. Her body was out of this world in a bikini.

“Oh my Goddddd! Look at your ass! I’m so jealous!” I whined. She laughed and reached for her denim shorts. “So, yes?” “Hell yeah.” My brother won’t know what hit him.” I stuck my tongue out and she rolled her eyes. “Girl bye, I’m not worried about your brother.” “Rightttt. And that’s why you’ve changed three or four times already right?” I sent her a look. “I’m just indecisive.” She stuck her tongue at me playfully. 

“Indecisive these nuts! Is Adrienne meeting us there still?” I had extended the invitation to both of them. Seeing as how, we were all cool, I thought why not? In the small time we’d been living together, I can honestly say I consider Z my friend. Her and Juju were still adjusting to each other, but Juju wasn’t being rude anymore so they were trying. Adrienne I was just starting to get to know. She reminded me a lot of Juju as far as her personality went. So, we were cool too.

“Nah, I gotta go get her. Can you text me the address and we’ll meet y’all there? She lives in the damn boondocks.” She rolled her eyes. I laughed, “Yeah. I’ll text it to you right now.” I said sauntering back into my room. I grabbed my phone off the charger, seeing messages from my brother and Mackai. I sent Z the address and she let us know she was leaving before she left. 

Big Bro 😬: Bring some more ice when you on your way please 

I hit him back letting him know I would, before going to Mackai’s message. 

Kai ☺️: Where yo fine ass at?

I giggled out loud and let him know I’d be on the way soon. I set my phone back down and saw that Juju was almost ready. She had her bikini on and she was fixing her hair. "How come everybody got a fat ass except me?” I pouted. “Don’t worry, my brother is trying to handle that. Give him a few months." She laughed. I rolled my eyes and snatched my outfit from the counter. 

The two piece bathing suit went on first, followed by the skirt. Oh yeah, I was definitely feeling myself. I swished out the bathroom, watching Juju shake her head at me. "Come on, I'm ready to see my man."

When we pulled up to Mackai’s house, cars flooded the block. We could see multiple just arriving when we did. Some girl walked past us with only a pair of pasties and a bikini bottom on. “Bitchhhhh, no she didn’t!” I gasped. “Shit, she got the body for it, why not?” Ju shrugged. More power to her I guess.

We found somewhere to park, and got out. Ju opted not to wear any kind of cover up nor shorts. A bikini, sun glasses, her hair down her back, and a pair of Gucci sandals. My bitch looked good. Z texted me, letting me know she had picked Adrienne up and they were on the way. When we were walking up the driveway, we could see a group of boys either sitting on the hood of a big Jeep Wrangler or huddled near it. 

It wasn’t until we heard our names being called we paid close attention. Amari, Jelani, some of their other frat brothers, along with my brother, and Mackai. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. He donned a pair of distressed, denim shorts, black Nike socks, three different gold chains, and a pair of Jordans I didn’t really recognize. No shirt. He looked like a fucking snack. Fuck that, a whole meal.

“Got damn Jamie!” Jelani tried to mumble under his breath. Mackai made sure to smack him upside the head. “Watch your mouth nigga.” He muttered. I went over and hugged my brother as the rest of them engaged in a conversation. “Why you acting like you don’t see your man?” He chuckled as he kept his arm over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes. 

Mackai and I really hadn’t gone public with our... thing. I mean people knew but now that I thought about it, this would be our first outing out together. Honestly, I didn’t know how we were approaching it. I was just gonna go with the flow. If he wasn’t ready for the public thing, I’d be cool with that. And if he was to flaunt me, I was ready for that too. 

I took my eyes off Bryson to look over at Mackai who was already staring at me. He signaled me over with his head and I sauntered over quietly. He pulled me into a hug and when he released me, he planted a kiss on my cheek. “What’s up beautiful? ‘Bout time you got here. You lookin good.” I blushed and subconsciously looked around to see if anyone’s eyes were on us. 

“Thank you. You look nice too.” My eyes scanned his tattooed arms and then his chest before looking up at him. He chuckled as he watched me watch him. I couldn’t help it. He looked good. Before Mackai and I could get too deep into each other, JuJu snatched me up to go inside with her. She wanted to grab something from Mackai’s room. 

She whisked me away and before I knew it, we were in the house. “You and him might as well fuck each other, all that eye sex y’all doing.” Juju laughed when we were in private. “Y’all staring each other down like a pair of horny ass teenagers.” “Shut up, Juju.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m just saying.” She laughed. 

When we finally made our way outside, we made sure to get drinks before finding somewhere to chill. We were bobbing our heads to the music, sipping our drinks, and doing a little two step. I was feeling really good. I felt even better when I saw Z and Adrienne waltz in, both holding red bulls. I waved them over and Adrienne caught me waving my hand in the air. She grabbed Z and they made their way over hand in hand. 

“Hey y’all! Y’all look cute!” Adrienne complimented as she gave us all hugs. “Thanks babes! This bathing suit is bomb too! Look at you! Looking like a snack.” I hyped her up. “Well, you know.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and did a turn. We all laughed. 

I passed Adrienne a drink, and while I was extending a drink over to Zemora, O.T. Genasis’s “Thick” came on. She made sure to take the cup from me before bending over and making her ass clap. Because Zemora was always so shy, and reserved, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing right now. She began bouncing her ass, letting her tongue out of her mouth. 

Adrienne tapped me, “She’s drunk.” She laughed. “She said she wanted to loosen up before she got here.” “How much did she have to drink?” I asked. “Four shots of Ciroc.” Zemora had admitted that she was a light weight, that’s why she didn’t drink. I tapped Z and she stopped dancing. 

“You good?” “Yessssss! I feel so good! I just wanna dance.” She let her tongue out again before wining her hips. I chuckled. “Okay. I just don’t want you to get too drunk. I’m keeping you on this one drink minimum.” “Okay mom.” She laughed. 

For the rest of the party, we were lit. We danced on each other, laughed, and drank some more. Z had sobered up a little so we let her have another drink. Nothing too strong though. Mackai and his crew were to our far left. Every few seconds we would lock eyes, but I would look away. I just wanted to have fun with my girls. When all of them started making their way over to us, I got a little nervous. 

They had been throwing girls in the pool all day and I wasn’t with the shits. I didn’t come this cute to be thrown in the pool. He swiveled his way through the crowd, I couldn’t help the scream that escaped my mouth when he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him, if I was going in so was he. 

“Chill. I wasn’t even gon’ throw you in.” He chuckled. “Gimme kiss.” He mumbled. “No.” “You know I hate when you tell me no.” His hands moved to my ass and I gasped. “You drunk?” I asked. “A little bit. I’m high as fuck though.” He admitted. “Gimme kiss.” He repeated. Instead of being stubborn, I gave him what he wanted. I intended for the kiss to be innocent, but it was something about kissing Mackai that always made me take it to the next level.

We heard a throat clear and I pulled away. Our little group was shaking their heads, “Chill with that caking shit.” Jelani waved us off. “Hater.” I mushed him after Mackai put me down. He didn’t let me go far though. He made sure to keep one hand on my waist. 

I looked around while moving my hips to the music. I noticed Z in the corner of my eye dancing by herself as some random song played in the background. The DJ quickly switched to Vybz Kartel’s “Fever” and all hell broke loose. She bent over and was dancing, when all of a sudden one of Amari’s frat brother slid behind her. They grinded against each other, even attracting a small crowd.

I looked to my left and I could see my brother, clenching his jaw, while sipping his drink. I was no secret that him and Z ain’t talk no more. He stopped coming by the house, she stopped mentioning him, and he stopped mentioning her. I asked both of them what the issue was and neither of them wanted to get into detail. He said it was a big misunderstanding, and she just didn’t wanna talk about it. 

But the fact that he was sitting here with a clenched jaw said it all. He was still feeling her and the fact that she wasn’t paying him a bit of attention was killing him. I shook my head, noticing how they had one thing in common. They were stubborn. 

After the song went off the small crowd dispersed elsewhere and Z stood up straight. She started walking away from him and he grabbed her back, a little too rough. At least from where I was standing. She was trying her best to get him to let her go, but he wasn’t budging. I tapped Mackai and before I could get him to go help her, Bryson was already on his way over. 

“Fuck is you doing nigga?” He let her go almost immediately. The second he let her go, Bryson grabbed him around the neck. Z was already making a beeline back to us. Another crowd was forming, and Mackai knew that was his cue to get over there. Amari and the rest of them rushed over as well.  

“You fucking stupid?” I watched Bryson ask. I watched the other dude struggling to breathe. Bryson lifted his shirt slightly exposing his gun. “Yo, B. Let this nigga go. It ain’t even worth it.” Mackai tried to talk him down.

“I need some water. My head is spinning.” She let us know. Juju, Adrienne, and I escorted her inside. I peeped that the dude was being escorted out, followed by Mackai, Bryson, and some others that I knew they ran the streets with. I just knew he was about to get his ass beat.

In the meantime, we tried to get Z to sober up some more. Juju was getting her some food from the kitchen, Adrienne went to get her water, and I opted to stay with her. She was laid across Mackai’s bed, cuddled up to his pillows. “You okay mama?” I asked rubbing her back. 

“I’m okay. Where’s Bryson?” “Um, I think he’s still outside.” “I wanna tell him thank you.” “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. Bryson ain’t the best person to talk to when he’s upset. Just give him a few alright?” She nodded and just then, Adrienne came back with the water. 

We all stayed in the room for about half and hour before Z felt a little better. I could tell she was sobering up because her words weren’t slurring anymore. “This is why I don’t drink.” She sighed. “Yeah baby girl, you are a light weight.” Juju chuckled lightly as she handed over the plate of food. “I’m good.” She declined. Ju shrugged and started picking at the food.

Someone knocked at the door and Adrienne let them know it was okay to enter. Amari walked in, and shut the door behind him. “Yo Z, you good?” He questioned. She nodded, “I’m fine Mari.” “On my mama, imma beat Nigel’s ass.” He huffed. “Amari, violence is not needed. I’m fine. It’s not that deep.” 

“Fuck that, Z. That nigga know better. He gon’ see me believe that.” Zemora could only sigh and sit up straight in the bed. “Is he gone? Because I wanna go back to the party.”  She let us know. “Yeah, B and them kicked that nigga out. If you going back out there, you not drinking no more.” Amari told her. “Okay, dad.” She rolled her eyes. 

“You ready now?” “I’ll come with the girls.” “Alright.” He nodded and exited the room. We all sat around for another minute or two before getting up and readjusting ourselves to go back to the party. When we stepped back outside, it was like nothing had even happened. Bryson, Mackai, and Amari were now chilling closer to the pool, sharing a blunt.

Mackai signaled me over and I nudged the girls in that direction. As soon as we got to them, Kai handed the blunt off to Amari and he cornered me against the fence. “I told you how good you look today?” He asked licking his lips. “You did.” I giggled. “God damn.” He shook his head and looked at me from top to bottom. 

“You don’t even know how much trouble you causing today.” He smirked. “Me? I ain’t doing nothing.” “You girls in here man, cause you all I got my eyes on.” “Oh, all your hoes?” I asked. “I ain’t got no hoes. I’m a married man.” He stated proudly. I hid my blush with an eye roll.

Without even asking, he gripped my ass, pulled me closer to him, and smashed our lips together. Like I said, whatever Kai wanted to do I was with it. So, the fact that we were engaging in PDA was all I needed. These bitches could be mad all they wanted to. Kai was my man.

[nunquamidem]

Denechamps 10th Anniversary Draft Analysis: Yahoo Sucks Edition

Intro:

Alright, assholes. As Devin so eloquently stated in Vegas, the message boards have gone to shit. I'm not sure if it's because we all talk via group text, use the in-app messenger, or what, but we gotta get back to our roots.

For me, that means comprehensive analysis of everything, as long as it makes me look good. Fortunately, y'all made it easy to kick things off with your collective shit-ass drafting skills.

Zach got so high he fell into a deep sleep and dreamed about drafting a decent team, Devin managed to sober draft his way to the 3rd worst team in the league, Pat ordered a $200 bottle of Tito's to pair with his league-leading 8 steals in the draft, and I reached on Shady with the 3rd overall pick and still managed to put together a better team than all of you.

Enough exposition - let's get into it!

You All Have Low-T:

No, I'm not talking about the type of "Low-T" that's got Chris popping Viagra and snorting powdered deer penis like it's a line of coke at a frat party - I'm talking about the revolutionary new scoring system I developed to showcase how good I am.

"Let me guess - your dumb shit new score says you had the best draft?"

You're goddamn right it did.

"Alright, I'll bite. What is it and why did you make that corny ass dad joke about Low-T?"

Ah, yeah! Well, it's called the "T-Score", because of course I named it after myself.

How does it work? Well, it's an aggregate grade based on a number of factors and data sources. I used FantasyPros ECR (which in itself is an aggregate grade of the 25 top fantasy experts in 2016), Yahoo's "Draft Report Card" grade converted into a number grade, and FootballGuys' draft analysis combined with Pat's pre-draft survey. The last one there is actually really interesting, but I'll get into greater detail on that in a sec.

"Okay, wow, don't care. Just show me the scores."

Ask and you shall receive:

“What are the boxes around the “FFG” scores?”

Well, that’s where I used Pat’s survey data and integrated it with FootballGuys’ post-draft playoff probabilities. Everyone graded themselves and the rest of the league on their perceived talent and fantasy football savvy. I took the “Skill” and “Rank” grades, combined them into a single “Grade”, and divided them into tiers based on 1/3 percentiles. Here’s what that all looked like:

On the right, you’ll see the final combined “Grade” along with clear demarcations for each tier.

“You’re losing me. What does any of this have to do with anything?”

When you input a team into FootballGuys’ draft analyzer, they spit out a calculation of how likely you are to make the playoffs with said team. This is calculated using our league settings and their own proprietary algorithmic magic, and is presented in three talent tiers: Great in-season management, Good in-season management, and Average in-season management. Hence the tiers! I haven’t been able to do the math because the league record book isn’t up and running yet, but I’d venture to guess the tiers derived from Pat’s survey would line up pretty well with everyone’s individual records over the past few years. Isn’t it neat when data backs up reality?

Anyway, let’s get to the team-by-team breakdown. I’ll be presenting all the data I aggregated for each team in order of “T-Score”, so you might as well scroll right by #1, cause it ain’t you.

Team Breakdowns:

#1 Theo:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

FLEX (1st)

RB2 (1st)

QB (2nd)

Weaknesses:

WR1 (9th)

WR2 (9th)

Notes:

In spite of having dogshit, bottom-of-the-barrel wide receivers, I still managed to draft the best overall team in the league. Plenty of RB depth - perhaps even too much - will hopefully mitigate my garbage-tier WRs and lack of depth at the position. 

And just think - what happens if AP goes down? Mark Ingram is RB1. And if Gillislee takes over Blount’s roll in NE, as a 10th round pick? Hot damn!

With the best starters in the league and the 4th best bench, expectations are high.

#2 Mikey:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

WR1 (1st)

K (1st)

DST (2nd)

Weaknesses:

FLEX (9th)

RB1 (7th)

WR2 (7th)

Notes:

Mikey did well to draft a team whose starters will all likely churn out steady points week in and week out. Brown is a sure thing (even if he scares me), Zeke plays behind a super-good offensive line (when he’s not on the couch serving his suspension or assaulting women), and Gore is a guaranteed 3-4 points per week. I his team struggling out the gate without Zeke, though, because I don’t see a ton big-play potential on the team outside of AB. Maybe Demarco?

#3 Pat:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

WR1 (2nd)

K (2nd)

Flex (3rd)

Weaknesses:

RB1 (9th)

QB (6th)

DST (6th)

Notes:

In strikingly non-Pat fashion, this team is lacking at RB. Ever the fan of Gurley (#9 RB1 based on ECR), this team really strikes me as boom-or-bust. Luck is a huge question mark with his injury, who knows who will be throwing to Nuk (and if he’ll get back to ‘15 fantasy relevance), and Gurley and Hyde are hardly sure things. A solid bench should buoy any regression or injuries, but a deep bench can be torture when you’re trying to decide who to start at FLEX.

#4 Dustin:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

WR2 (3rd)

WR1 (4th)

RB1 (4th)

Weaknesses:

DST (9th)

K (8th)

RB2 (7th)

Notes:

Dustin's team is a mystery. I really like Freeman at RB1, but as a Ty Montgomery holder last year, I'm not sure how much I trust him at RB2. Jordan Reed is guaranteed to spend some time injured, Baldwin's ceiling is inexorably tied to how well the 'Hawks o-line plays, and A.J. Green has to slow down at some point... right? CMac, Maclin, and Parker could help down the stretch, but there will be a lot of questions until the season starts rolling.

#5 Chris:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

TE (2nd)

WR1 (3rd)

RB2 (5th)

Weaknesses:

QB (10th)

K (9th)

WR2 (8th)

Notes:

I don't trust Howard, Mixon is a rookie playing behind a subpar o-line with TD-vulture-extraordinaire Jeremy Hill looming, Watkins is a tackle or two away from shattering his everything, and none of the bench guys here really catch my eye. I could be wrong, but outside of OBJ and Kelce I don't see a lot going on, and the latter isn’t really a sure thing himself. Chris knows how to make moves, though, so I anticipate a different - stronger - team once the season gets underway.

#6 Ashley:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

TE (1st)

DST (1st)

RB1 (2nd)

Weaknesses:

RB2 (9th)

QB (8th)

WR1 (8th)

Notes:

To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Ash took Gronk. Assuming he stays healthy, it’ll add some much needed firepower (and more TD’s for me through Brady) to her team. Outside of Gronk and Bell, there really isn’t a whole lot going on. KC DST is ranked #1 by FPros ECR and Crosby #3, which is nice, but streaming has made drafted kickers and defenses borderline obsolete. I don't trust Abdullah, Alshon, or Fitzgerald (because of RB competition, QB/injury, and age respectively), and T.Y. Hilton is only good if Luck stays healthy. A single injury could completely derail this team.

#7 Shoob:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

QB (1st) FLEX (2nd) RB1 (5th)

Weaknesses:

TE (10th) RB2 (8th) DST (8th)

Notes:

FootballGuys’ straight up loved Shoob’s team, while FantasyPros and Yahoo thought it was butts. Just goes to show you why it’s imperative to pull from multiple data sources! I, personally, see some cause for concern. Rodgers is great, but has had rough starts to the year the past couple seasons. His WRs are also a cause for concern: Jordy is getting older, I see a regression to the mean for Cobb and don’t know if I trust Adams - even if he’s on my team. Ajayi could be huge, but he could also cake his pants - 22% of his yards came on six 30-plus yard carries, which is a stat I chalk up to luck moreso than talent. Ware is nursing injuries and has to fend off Hunt coming for his touches. Who’s throwing to DT? Will Thomas step up as a true WR1 now that Cooks has departed to NE? Speaking of Cooks (a pick I loved, by the way), will he pay dividends in Bellichick’s system? Lots of question marks, but I’m inclined to side more with FootballGuys’ analysis than Yahoo and FantasyPros on this team.

#8 Jeremy:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

WR2 (1st)

DST (2nd)

QB (5th)

Weaknesses:

RB1 (10th)

TE (7th)

RB2 (6th)

Notes:

Another team that FootballGuys’ loved and FantasyPros/Yahoo hated. Pat’s survey placed Jeremy in the bottom tier of managers in the league, though, which gave Jeremy the 75% figure rather than the 90% he’d have secured with a higher survey grade. That  knocked him down from the #6 T-Score to #8. I personally don't trust Jeremy's team at all. I don't trust Wilson (notes from my draft board: o-line sucks, won't sit in the pocket and deliver, prefers to roll out but has taken a beating - due for an injury?), Lynch is old, Cook is a rookie who will compete with Murray (edge: experience) and McKinnon (edge: physicality / goal-line vulture), Jordy is a RZ target maven but is getting up there in age and injuries are a concern, Pryor is still learning WR, Texans DST is going to disappoint with their now patchwork secondary, and there's not much startable help on the bench. Lots of upside pieces on this team, but I get the feeling that everything has to go right for ol' Jer-bear to sniff the postseason.

#9 Devin:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

RB2 (2nd)

WR2 (2nd)

QB (7th)

Weaknesses:

RB1 (8th)

TE (8th)

FLEX (8th)

Notes:

Devin really put together a mixed bag here..

Panthers don't want Cam to run, but Cam is good at running. Hope and pray that Benjamin dad-dicks the league the way he did JJo last preaseaon game, or you're in for disappointment. Fournette is a rookie on a team that's going to be playing from behind a lot with an average o-line, but he has an easy schedule and little competition. I haaaaaaaaaaaaated the Lamar Miller pick - Texans' line is in-flux at best/garbage at worst, and BoB wants to work Foreman and Blue into the gameplan more. Dez was a reach. Cooper is solid if he can get his TDs up. AP is old and probably won't account for more than 60% of NO's carries (assuming he stays healthy). Everything else is just... varying levels of "meh"

#10 Zach:

FantasyPros ECR:

FootballGuys’ Playoff Odds:

Strengths:

RB1 (1st)

Weaknesses:

RB2 (10th) WR1 (10th) WR2 (10th)

Notes:

Yeesh.

Let’s all take a second to appreciate that David Johnson ended up on what is essentially a non-competing team.

Zach. Buddy. The weed, liquor, and pursuit of poon that came with the Vegas draft really did a number to your team.

Let me list out the players you reached on (i.e., drafted 2+ rounds before their ADP, according to FantasyPros ECR):

Kelvin Benjamin (#96) Tyreek Hill (#82) Brandon Marshall (#104) Eli Manning (#107) Derrick Henry (#84) Zach Ertz (#98) Randall Cobb (#130) Sebastian Janikowski (#231) Jamaal Charles (#124) Kevin White (#162) Antonio Gates (#186)

Again, yeesh.

Et cetera:

Curious to see how everybody voted in Pat’s poll? Be curious no more! I had to guess who submitted what, so it might not be perfect, but there are only a couple that were in question.

Interesting anomalies:

Skill

The only people who believe Devin to be anything bordering on competent are Zach, Jeremy, and Devin himself.

Devin, Chris, and Zach think considerably less about Pat’s skill level than the rest of the league.

The only person go give me a sub-5 grade? None other than the reigning Sacko himself, Devin!

Devin and Mikey have much higher opinions of Jeremy than the rest of the league.

Ashley was the only person to receive no “Skill” grades over 5 from her peers.

Mikey, Jeremy, and Shoob were the kindest voters.

Dustin, Chris, and Ashley were the most critical voters.

Team Name commonalities:

Conclusion:

That’s it! This took way longer than I had planned, but here we are. Now go forth and post dumb shit on the message board!