#anyway u made me so happy with this ask rob i genuinely will never get tired of talking about this au

[josiebelladonna]

happy birthday, green druidess.

i hope today is good, because... oh, boy, is it a good day for me.

in fact, this is the first january in years that’s been genuinely kind to me! been making tons of art and planning stuff for my fics, planning on moving house sometime this year...

i’m writing all of this as thunder and lightning is rolling through my area. if you don’t mind, i’m going to turn into nikolai tesla here for a second. or robert oppenheimer. electricity is everywhere, and if you’re not careful, it can burn you and vaporize you, sweetheart.

now hold onto me, pretty baby, if you wanna fly. i’m gonna melt the fever, sugar, rolling back your eyes.

*lights up a bong*

are y’all with me now?

her: “hey, how come you never have anything nice to say about me?”

she asks, completely oblivious to the fact that i was never a serious critic, but someone with a sense of humor and i had every right to stand up for myself.

want me to say something nice about her?

she knows how to appeal to people.

there. happy? am i even being serious right now?

who knows, and who cares. besides, her and her army of nimrods have something new to bicker about when using my name in junction again.

*alex skolnick, eric peterson, joey belladonna, and rob cavestany have entered the chat*

*receives, but whatever. and...

pfffff, what?

“Or maybe it was the ice cream man.”

i shouldn’t have laughed as hard as i did at that, but i did, anyway. god.

man, and i thought i had awkward syntax. there’s a lot. trust me: from how state of euphoria sits in my mind, she’s known for her awkward sentences, among other things. such that even the teachers of the most entry-level, special ed. english classes would hit the roof.

...edgy strawberry shortcake? but, you know, if it exists, there’s an edgy version of it. it’s like an offshoot of rule 34 (if it exists, there’s porn of it). by the way, “seafoam”. back up, i thought you weren’t an artist.

u mad, bro? also, paranoia is not a good look for you, liz. trust me.

ahahahahahahahahaha *fart*

oh, yeah, that’s... that’s real important. thx for that really important info. you know, there’s building tension and then there’s farting around like this, and you, my dear, fart more than i do (and i have digestive issues so that’s saying something)

in all seriousness, though, she has gotten bad with the filler lately, like... how many times can you show me this. how many more times can you show me this.

“i rubbed my chiny-chin-chin and said, ‘my, my, my, what sort of this thing might this lady get high upon?’ i checked out her sister who was holding the bed, and i wondered what sort of thing the young lady was on.”

“snap yo’ fingers, snap yo’ neck!”

i haven’t heard about strippers wearing thongs in like... what, 15+ years? britney spears and paris hilton even stopped wearing them even in the era of low-rise jeans, they’re so uncomfortable and so gross, too, like there’s nothing sexy about having a string between your ass cheeks and your coochie.

“slid off the bed” made me think of homer simpson sliding off the bed and sneaking out in the middle of the night with bart to scour the barrels of booze in the prohibition episode (there’s a bit in the second part of this fic where vince acts like bart reading notes from his palm 😂)

firm tits? if she’s got firm tits, she’s probably got cancer, bro. or she has pcos, just gave birth, or she’s the three-breasted martian from total recall, like it’s not natural to have rock-hard boobs and a soft body, especially in that situation.

“so i pulled on her hair, got her legs in the air, and asked if she had any cooties in there. ‘what do you mean, cooties? no cooties on me!’ she was buns up, kneeling. i was wheelin’ and dealin’, she surrendered to the feelin’, and she started with the squealin’. dyna-moe watched from the edge of the bed, with her upper lip twitching and her face gone red, some drool rolling down from the edge of her chin, while she spied the condition her sister was in.”

...this is the woman who made fun of me in 2020 for writing the word “butt” in an otherwise erotic fic. the same one.

good god.

did you have a stroke and lose your sense of hearing, nick? she’s obviously in pain. knock that shit off.

“melted water and her juices”

man alive, that conjures an image.

also, why am i under the impression that she sat down with eclipse open in another tab whilst writing, specifically to angel’s trumpet and summer in the city, and wrote this alongside those chapters, like this whole time i’m just thinking of vampire!alex and his icy cold body... but minus his sensuality and sweetness, and made a lot more disgusting. and it’s kinda creepy, too, like at least i try to make people look like they’re having a good time in my erotica. i also didn’t screenshot it, but there’s a line in here where nick says “i’d like to lick something” and i was almost immediately reminded of magic stick.

after everything, she is still ripping me off, and badly this time around no less: the first time was actually kind of innocuous in comparison to this, like this is borderline psychopathic behavior.

and it’s so ironic, too. everything i do is all supposed to be fun. you gently rib at someone because you like them. has she or anyone who supports her never heard of “dramatic readings” or “drunk readings”? or watched a bad movie and made wise cracks all the way through? if my mental breakdown after all this went down in summer 2020 wasn’t enough proof for you, i don’t know what to tell you.

really, i can forgive spelling errors and awkward sentences and unintentional hilarity, i really can (there’s a trope for that, too, it’s called “so bad, it’s good”), but if you still insist on doing the nefarious behavior i initially called you out on?

she’s insane. she is completely and totally out of her goddamn mind.

and she looks at me and tells me to get over it? that’s justifying your own horrible behavior in hopes to make me submit. there’s a word for that, too. you may have heard of it, you may have seen her use it, too. it’s called “bullying”. look at it this way: if someone hits you and you’re crying, and they tell you to get over it, it’s abuse. bonus points if they’re like “i didn’t do it!” (given bullying is a form of abuse).

when i posted the apple shed back on the 9th, it had pure intentions. sure, when i posted dead man walking, it had the intent of standing up for myself. but that was it, though: i was standing up for myself while writing something that i had wanted to write for a long time, so two birds with one stone there. when she starts something in response to fics like those, it’s solely to cover her ass, never to contribute to fandom. i promise i’m not trying to be like one of the cool kids, either. so, i don’t know what her logic is because i’m not trying to prove anything. i stopped caring about popularity a long time ago. i grew up in nevada and california: we don’t give a shit if we’re popular or not. it’s nice when it happens, but we don’t expect it.

coming from her, she may as well be telling us we’re all fools. really, this is erotic? this is unpleasant, even for her (and i’ve avoided her like the ‘rona). a little pain goes a long way, but this left me genuinely uncomfortable. in fact, this happens a lot in her so-called erotic writings. and like, you can’t cover it up with “don’t like, don’t read”, either, because it’s all at the expense of growing and changing.

it’s like she tries way too hard to be sexy and winds up writing some of the most “cannot... unsee” things i’ve ever read. i feel like i’ve actually grown as a writer since i joined ao3. i can tell right away that she hasn’t, not one bit (and she’s been on there longer than i have, too).

in fact, she’s actually the reason why i’m so picky about reading things that are erotic: i don’t ever mean to shame anyone for what turns them on, that’s never my intention. i’ve been shamed for my sexual feelings pretty much my entire life, so you couldn’t pay me enough money to shame someone for their preferences and their kinks, but way too often, i’ll read something that’s kinda hot, kinda sensual, and then something will happen that’s off-putting and it’s immediately gross, or it’s unintentionally funny. i don’t blame you for it one bit, though: writing is hard, and erotic writing is even harder (no pun intended). you want proof? it took me almost four years to overcome my hang-ups on my own kinks and be comfortable enough to write about them, and yet, i still have a long way to go. i still feel guilt and shame with what gets me going, and though my art is about what i like and who i like, i still am reluctant to talk about my crushes and my sexuality. it’s a continuous process.

what i don’t understand is... what the hell makes her so special? her writing is not sexy. at all. and i’ve given myself shit for being unsexy multiple times in the past. but i don’t think i’ve ever written anything that’s uncomfortable, disturbing, and stomach-churning at worst, and unintentionally funny at best like with her. (and that’s not even touching the plagiarism aspect, either).

there’s someone who comes to mind now that i write this out and really put the pieces together. so many of you are too young to remember tila tequila: i was 12 when she was the queen of myspace and i barely had a finger in the world of music then. if i was too young to remember tila, i know you all are. but i recommend you read about her. i can’t really explain it, but i keep seeing this weirdly similar arc between these two women: overly sexual to the point it’s obnoxious and squicky, loud and boisterous, big ego, went nuts after a traumatic event (in tila’s case, it was losing her girlfriend and then od’ing on pills during an aneurysm; in the green druidess’ case, it was losing her grandmother and then the rendezvous with me in quarantine). if she starts whipping out the prejudices and really problematic behavior, don’t say i didn’t try to warn you.

“you hurt my feelings” i thought people got sick of this trope like... six years ago. sick of the trope. six years ago. nikki sixx. seems kinda weird…

it’s like watching two people have sex with rubber gloves and soapy water.

okay, i want y’all to take a shot every time she writes the word “butt” from now on. i actually came up with a few drinking games with her. for example, take a shot every time someone “hums” during an intercourse scene. take a shot every time she uses a flowery synonym for red hair. take a shot every time there’s a sex scene and you’re more grossed out than turned on.

again, this is the “hot, erotic romance” that readers of bandfic want in 2022/2023? this is torture. like... dude. have you tried just talking to her? why do you insist on spinning in circles every which way: this shit is hard to watch.

this is the scene from tiny bubbles:

Alex didn’t hesitate to take off his jeans right there in the front part of the apartment: he swiped the cordless phone from the kitchen in the instance of someone calling him in the meantime, and he ambled across the carpet to the hallway. He stepped into that large, spacious bathroom and already began to feel completely at ease. The white tile that made up the floor felt like cold stones on the very bottoms of his feet; the white and gray marble on the countertop next to him shimmered and twinkled under the soft light that filtered through the window over the bathtub before him. He peeled off his shirt and lay it on the counter next to him and the edge of the sink. He stood right next to the toilet for a second with his eye on the big silvery shower head on the wall over his head.

A shower wouldn’t suffice. Too quick, especially for his tense muscles in his back and in his legs. He glanced down at the big bathtub before him, the big pearly white tub that provided enough for him to lay down flat on his back.

That would do the trick. He took the bath mat off of the rim of the tub and lay it on the tiles right next to the tub, and then he reached over to the dials on the wall and switched on the water. A bit too cold at first and then he turned the hot dial a bit. He then reached behind him to the cabinets under the sink for the bottle of bubble bath: what was a boy who wanted to relax without soft-smelling tiny bubbles. Down on one knee, he unscrewed the lid from the top and poured in a slender little trickle of that deep blue liquid in: he watched it bleed through the water for a moment, and then he reached down and stirred the water with a shake of his hand so the bubbles would flurry up and collect throughout the water. He put the bubble bath back into the cabinet and he watched the bubbles form and pile upon themselves.

Every so often, he reached down for a stir of the water with his hands so those little stacks of tiny bubbles collected and formed upon themselves even more.

Once the water reached a certain level on the bathtub, he switched off the water, and then he peeled his underwear off and he let it fall onto the bath mat, around his feet. He ran his hand down his stomach before he stuck one foot into the water: nice and warm, almost perfect. It was a bit colder than he usually liked, but the tub had enough water in it already; he set the other foot into the water next, and then he took his seat on the floor of the tub. He leaned back against the wall opposite to the faucet and stretched out his long, lanky legs to where his feet reached the faucet. Though he remained close to the wall on the left, there was plenty of room in that tub for two people.

it’s directly from tiny bubbles. she still has not gotten tired of this. as i said, it’s like she had eclipse open in one tab and used it as a base. it’s like when you’re taking notes from a textbook and you paraphrase as “best” as you can... “best” in that it’s actually not coming from you.

god, where’s miss rocco, my english teacher in junior year of high school. that woman had eyes like a hawk: she knew if you plagiarized or read cliff notes from a mile away. she was tough but she wanted us to do well, and that was my original intent with the green druidess. but since she’s way too egotistical, stubborn, and dumb to figure it out (as bullies usually are), i had to leave the “love” part out of “tough love”.

by the way, “non-erogenous zone”? what are you, my therapist?

*projectile vomits*

“oh. my. GAWD. chand-lah bing! chand-lah bing-a-ling!” (this part actually deserves two jokes)

“are you eating a t-bone? why don’t we call you.. t-bone?” “can i be g-bone?” “there is no ‘g-bone’, george.” “T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE!” 

*later*

“you’re like that monkey that can do sign language.” “cocoa?” “yeah! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA!”

she also ripped off covalent bonds, i see. not surprised at all, either: it had “easy target” written all over it.

“when you walk in the bar, and you feel like a star, rockin’ your fuck-me pumps.  and a man notice you with your gucci bag (crue), can’t tell who he's lookin' to, ‘cause you all look the same, everyone knows your name, and that's your whole claim to fame. never miss a night 'cause your dream in life is to be a footballer's wife. you don't like players, that's what you say- but you really wouldn't mind a millionaire. you don't like ballers, they don't do nothing for ya, but you'd love a rich man six-foot-two or taller.”

vanessa: “we also received your other gift.” austin powers: “yes, basel! nice rack!”

“you’re being a peñis... colada, that is.” -liz phair

i swear, i used “i want you”... by bob dylan, in either fever or now it’s dark. may have been fever, i remember seeing it in the notes when i was putting volume one on wattpad last week.

speaking of notes, here’s another drinking game: take a shot every time you read her author’s note and they’re like this. when i write author’s notes, i try to be fun and friendly because we’re all fans here, but istg, the last couple of times i poked my head into her fics out of morbid curiosity, i saw her author’s notes and they were... i want to say “businesslike”. most recently, she hasn’t put any. it’s like when you have that one mutual on here: you were friends at one point, and something happens, and they end up moving away from their original content, like they got involved in social justice or something, and they start getting hostile and belligerent about it, and they end up deviating away from the original purpose of social justice and turn into someone full of hate, the very thing they were initially up against, and they reach a crisis point where it completely breaks them, and they turn into hipster blogs who don’t bother tag anything or even talk anymore, and then at some point, they leave tumblr. (tells you how long i’ve been on here, too: i’ve actually watched blogs venture through that very pipeline, whereas it’s rare now).

but here, i’m trying really hard to understand her point, or why she’s so bent on making things difficult for me when she just winds up making things difficult for herself as well as everyone who follows her, but she can’t come out front like this. when this whole situation started, and then continued, i really was alone in the whole thing (another key trait that should tell you that i’m not the bully here as bullies usually travel in packs and their prey tend to be loners). some people who had blocked me lifted the barrier and i apologized to them straight up because i knew it was upsetting for them. add to this, i had people left and right blocking me on the pretense of my supposedly running my mouth. incredibly petty and rude (unless someone’s opinion is actually hurting you, i can’t even tell you how messed up it is to block someone for being themselves: and at that point, it stops being opinion anyway) and it really gave me some insight into this new generation of tumblrs, many of whom are a lot like her: she happens to be a prototype of sorts, a codifier for what tumblr has become. but if there’s anything that this current tumblr is not, it’s that i know you guys don’t cheat.

as much as i dislike the ____ x reader trope and stranger things, the air of “oh my gosh, look what i found!” laced with captain obvious that’s in literally everything you guys do, and as much as i wish tiktok would just go away already, gen z and a lot of her readership do have a lot of charm to them because it comes down to ego.

the pen can’t be mightier than the sword if you let your ego get in the way. fic should be fun, it shouldn’t be about cancelling or getting all defensive when someone notices that you’re fucking up and wants you to stop but you instead double down and continue to do it and play possum afterwards at the expense of everyone in the room. karma is a bitch, man, and a bigger one than i ever will be. what goes up must come down.

speaking of coming down, there’s...

there’s...

there’s...

*snicker* sorry.

ladies and gentlemen. boys and girls. everyone in between. damen und herren. madames et monsieurs.

the crown jewel. the trinity test:

BIT HER BOTTOM

BIT

HER

BOTTOM

WHAT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEX

YOU’RE NOT HERE! YOU’RE NOT HERE! A DIRTY WORD! HE SAID A DIRTY WORD!

WHAT IN GOD’S NAME HAVE YOU DONE STICK YOUR ARM FOR SOME REAL FUN SO YOUR SICKNESS WEIGHS A TON AND GOD’S NAME HAS SMACK THE SUN!

U

G

L

Y

YOU UGLY YOU, YOU UGLY YOU UGLY YOU, YOU UGLY

YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI

YOU UGLY YOU, YOU UGLY

I AM NOW CHOPPING OFF PHYLLIS’ HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW 

I SAID A BOOM-CHICK-A-BOOM!

I SAID A BOOM-CHICK-A-BOOM!

I SAID A BOOM-CHICK-A-ROCK-A-CHICK-A-ROCK-A-CHICK-A-BOOM!

IT IS OVER! IT IS ALL OVER!

FUCK

okay, never mind the image that just conjured up. it reminds me of that eminem song where he’s rapping in an eric cartman voice, and there’s a line where he goes: “that bitch can twist like a contortionist!”

she bit her bottom and ate her own shit 🤣

it’s like, “what do you want for lunch?” “could you make me a sandwich?” “sure!”

SPLAT.

oh, my god, i cannot think of a better allegory to her fics, like seriously. between the hyper obsession with ghoulish topics to the point of not doing them right (yeah, i don’t get it either) to the juvenile humor, it fits beautifully and perfectly. i also feel like it’s foreshadowing like KARMA IS A BITCH, BABY! 😂😂😂

and that’s another thing that’s common in her fics, too, especially as of recently. she’ll omit words (which is a typo i’m often guilty of, this is getting weird) and she’ll put in a shitload of filler to pad out the word count and then shove it out the door so no one can question it.

it’s like she wants to... beat me to the punchline or something.

but guess fucking what? i have the punchline now, hahahahaha!

god, that is a terrible error, and i cannot believe no one pointed it out, either. but i also can, though, because when i make an error like that, i usually notice after the fact or when i’m editing; the fact no one’s said anything after a month confirms she’s surrounded by yes men. or at the very least, people who don’t know, or don’t care, what a con job looks like (i’ll explain that in a second).

that’s right up there with “angry balls” from twilight (with apologies to stephenie meyer, of course).

and it doesn’t really matter at this point, but it came from this:

george: “you can’t break up with me! i had hand!” AND YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.

besides... the only taut belt I ever want to think about

is his

yeah, i’d like to see him tighten that belt of his, making that little belly poke out even more and bring more attention to his crotch 👀  swish his long beautiful hair 👀👀👀

actually, all the testament guys can tighten their belts for me any time 😏 and joey, too! he likes his belts, too. the man whom she betrayed and left behind in the dirt along with pete apparently. yeah, she threw not one, not two, but three subcultures, thrashers, grungers, and the goths, under the bus for quite literally no reason: she pretty much gave up anthrax fic after the incident with me and then her eddie vedder/grunge fic and her megadeth fic respectively in 2021, and her updates of like loving the dead since chapter 37 have been hollow and kind of boring, which tells me she’s not putting effort into them, and it’s weird because there are a few people who’ve bookmarked it saying it’s their dream peter fic. she left these fandoms, whole-ass subcultures, hanging for literally no reason other than to be petty and spiteful towards someone who stopped caring in january 2021.

what makes me different? very simple: i don’t cheat. i also genuinely like stuff.

i was thinking about this when i said it’s like she’s not even a fan of these things and she just writes because she thinks it’s what’s cool, too: she’s a grifter. she doesn’t swindle people out of their money, sure, but her behavior is parasitic enough, though.

she writes fic that appeals to a wide array of people while she keeps a straight face on (”she’ll stab you in the back with a smile on her face”, if you will) and also leeches off them under the pretense of “don’t like, don’t read”, thereby abusing fandom rules and then the very second she comes across someone who doesn’t kiss her ass or is bit of a threat to her or better yet annoys her, she turns hostile, covers her ass and gaslights everyone, and drags everyone down with her, declaring it’s “because they made do it!” lol, no. you chose to do it. i didn’t point a gun to your head and told you to ditch your fics: you did it because you have a victim complex and frankly, you suck at writing, too. there’s no money involved but you’re a grifter.

i pray for the mötley crüe fandom. really, take this from a girl who’s into alt rock and thrash and death metal, three genres that are notoriously the antitheses of glam: they don’t need the run-around like that, her building up a base only to watch her suddenly leave down the line because she can’t handle some girl being herself. instead of hitching up her bootstraps and accepting responsibility like any person with a spine and common sense, she plays the blame game and goes “look what she made me do”. who the hell does she think she is, taylor swift? (say what you want about her, but at least taylor has the decency to learn from her mistakes and has a healthy sense of self-awareness. and she’s actually a nice person, too: regina george is more charming than the green druidess) like i said, i’ve grown as a writer and a person. from the looks of it, the green druidess, formerly known as daveighmustaine, formerly known as fromthewasteland, has not one bit. the only thing that’s different is username and pettiness level.

by the way, alex likes to wear a lot of black and red (and green, oddly enough), too, so before i get called out for double standards: no, context is important.

and speaking of context, there’s also a line in this fic where nick runs his fingers down liz’s bare body to her (’scuse me) “abdomen” and she has a belly button piercing. it’s insufficient to say, but i feel like she had the hanukkah chapter of black moon open, too (fits the time frame: that was posted on the 18th and her fic on the 27th). and maybe disciples of the watch from eclipse, too, and blood & chocolate, and really anything i wrote that’s a bit sexual because i have a belly kink, specifically “little round bellies that look like they’d be fun to kiss, cuddle with, playfully poke, gently pat, tickle, admire from afar with the right fabrics and colors, and maybe fill them up until they’re very full and give them lots of gentle rubs”.

so, she not only copies from me, but she can’t even do kinks right. 

how is that possible? 

when you write kink, there’s this unspoken commitment behind it, like... you know. commit. shit or get off the pot. dude, i have written bdsm scenes where they were enjoying themselves. i wrote temperature play, and elemental play (pyrophilia and aquaphilia), and not once did i inject some painful bullshit.

and i thought we learned from 50 shades, too. there’s literally a right way to do it all and she isn’t doing it. “it makes it more believable and enjoyable!” no, it doesn’t. take this from a virgin: if you’re in pain while having sex, stop. extreme pain is not empowering or sexy: it’s quite the opposite. don’t keep going until one of you is crying and then you call the guy a fuckhead and he’s reveling in your verbal abuse. you’re treating not just him like shit, but yourself, too.

how do you people following her sleep at night knowing your precious fic writer, your “gorgeous queen”, is glorifying abuse across the board and is grifting everyone right in front of their faces, not once apologizing or being levelheaded about anything. she has shown to me, since 2020, that she cannot handle people who are different. hell, it looks like she can’t even handle fandom, period, because i have seen, time and time again, people in fandom far worse than me and i can tell she’s not okay with it. always wanting more attention, more sympathy, just like ol’ tila nguyen who preceded her by 20 years.

i’m just... i’m gonna y’all this right now.

it’s only a matter of time before she says something really problematic, and she loses control of everything. and you’re going to wish you believed me when it all first happened.

[mdverse]

Besides Brittana and Furtana, does VBAU have any other notable relationships/friendships? Like are teammates dating other canon characters? (Or other teammates? 👀)

oh idk if i'm the right person to ask about notable dynamics bc so many of them are very important to me lol but here are some of my fav friendships rn:

mopierce (mopierce day is on the 10th and i am Scrambling to pull some art together lmao it will be rushed but i can't just ignore it)

sugtana

quitt

that being said, 99% of the santana dynamics are very precious in my mind and i am doing my best to make sure all of the friendships - especially within the squad - get similar levels of attention and development!

in terms of relationships... they 👀... also sug def has a massive crush on someone but i haven't fully figured out where that goes bc of their dynamic haha. oh and klaine is in theory a thing but recently i've gotten more hesitant about that? not really sure what to do with that either rn so we'll see what happens i guess

[ttuesday]

How would the VDL gang comfort/cuddle you if you had a bad day?

also have this fluffy foal 🐴

yay I love fluffy foal!!!! Since we all have bad days, I decided to do a little more than usual for this one so yeah this’ll probably be longer than usual :)

Arthur

-> The second Arthur sees you, he knows something went wrong but he waits until you’re away from the others to talk to you. In a low voice, Arthur asks if you want to go somewhere private before guiding you to his tent or to the outskirts of camp.

-> He doesn’t mind if you don’t tell him what’s bothering you or what made today so terrible. Without saying a word, Arthur wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug. 

-> He slowly starts to stroke your hair and tell you that no matter what the problem is, you’ll figure it out.

-> Arthur reminds you of how strong you are and asks if you want to go do something with him tomorrow, whether that be robbing a stagecoach or drinking in a saloon or just going for a ride along the Heartlands. Whatever you want to do, Arthur will go along with it.

Dutch

-> Dutch asks to speak to you in his tent, pretending he needs your opinion on some upcoming robbery but when he closes his tent off to the others, he lets out a sigh and gives you a sympathetic smile.

->  “Want to talk about it?” he asks, sitting next to you on his bed. He understands if you stay quiet, not too sure of how to explain your bad day.

-> Dutch opens his mouth to say a quote from Evelyn Miller he thinks you might find interesting but he hesitates. He knows quotes won’t help right now and so instead he shuffles closer to you, putting his arm around your waist.

-> He’ll let you cuddle into him and he won’t move an inch until you’re feeling a little bit better, even if that takes all night. 

Charles

-> Charles doesn’t really know what to do or say. But he believes that some times you don’t need words.

-> Whether you want to sit by the campfire or away from the centre of camp, Charles stays by your side. He knows you probably have some thinking to do so he stays quiet, a comfortable silence falling over ye.

-> Of course if you want to talk or rant, Charles will listen intently, taking in every word you say and every expression you make. And if there’s anything he can do to help, he instantly suggests it to you.

Bill

-> Bill isn't great with words. Everyone knows that. So don't expect him to give you this great motivational speech that will give you high hopes and make you feel like you a superhero.

-> Chances are Bill will just start rambling about something random like how he’s thinking of buying a new saddle for Brown Jack or how he found a piece of chocolate in his beard the other day.

-> His ramblings are a good distraction and Bill has no problem if you want to lean against him as he continues to talk. He’s very warm and cozy so it makes sense if you fall asleep on him. 

Javier

-> Javier will try his absolute best to make you feel better. He spends the evening comforting you as best he can and if you still feel bad, he’ll suggest the two of you go on a job.

-> He knows of a homestead you can both rob, it’s easy pickings and he hopes it will help you focus on something and lift your spirits.

-> Who knows, maybe ye can spend the night there to have a break from everything. Javier will spend the night spooning you and whispering his favourite things about you into your ear... though he might ask to be the baby spoon at some point during the night.

Micah 

-> Micah suggests that you have a drink with him in the hopes that’ll make your day a bit better. As you sit down at one of the tables at camp, Micah brings over a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. 

-> He can be very blunt so don’t expect a lot of great comfort or immaculate advice but he will listen to everything you say. Even if he acts like he isn’t listening, believe me, he is. 

-> Towards the end of the night when he’s feeling a little more confident than usual (thank u alcohol) he’ll offer you a comfortable seat on his lap. Really he just wants to cuddle in the hopes it’ll lift both of ye’re moods.

John

-> John can be kinda hopeless in situations like this. He’s very awkward but if you need a hug or someone to talk to or a cuddle, then he’s happy to help.

-> If you start to cry, there’s a possibility John will die of awkwardness because he doesn’t know what to do or how to react. His brain may go into shutdown mode.

-> but he will stay there with you for as long you want him there. And he’ll try his best to make you smile again, whether it be with a cuddle, kiss or his dry sense of humour.

Sean

-> Sean's angry. Not at you, he could never truly be mad at you, but Sean presumes your bad day is someone's fault. Before you can explain why you've had a bad day, Sean's loading his revolver and whistling Ennis over so he can go shoot whoever has upset you.

-> If you want him to go kill someone then off he'll go on his mission but if you need him by your side, he can do that too. Because this is Sean, he basically clings to you as he fusses over you.

-> This man will spend the entire night giving you kisses, cuddles, maybe something more *wink wink*. He’ll give you the best advice he can think of and whatever else you need in the moment.

Lenny

-> Lenny hates it when you've had a bad day. He never wants to see you upset or sad, it breaks his heart to see you like that.

-> He gives you a long hug, slightly swaying from side to side. He's also really eager to help you in anyway he can. Want to go on a job to take your mind off it? Let's go. Need someone to tell you you’re an amazing person? He's confident he'll do a great job at that.

-> Be warned though, Lenny can be an emotional fella. So if you start crying, he might start crying too just because you're crying.

Uncle

-> Everyone knows Uncle likes to joke around. When things get tough, he likes to make a joke and laugh about it.

-> So when he heard you had a bad day, he tried to lighten the mood with some jokes. He makes jokes about himself, your shitty day, anyone who passes by and Dutch's speeches.

-> If the jokes aren't working then Uncle tries to say something genuine but he can't help himself and gives it a comedic spin at the end. But he hopes you know he really meant the genuine part.

Trelawny

-> When Trelawny hears you're having a bad day, he doesn't think it's anything to worry about. He thinks he can cheer you up with some magic.

-> He puts on a small show for you, making birds magically appear and finding a bouquet of flowers behind your ear. But Trelawny knows that isn't enough.

-> He sits down next to you and asks if you want to talk. Trelawny is one of the best listeners in camp, he'll listen and try his best to comfort you in whatever way you want. He'll even ask if you want to pet one of his birds.

Hosea

-> No matter what your problem is or whether you want to talk about it or not, Hosea sits down with you. His first concern is to try and make you feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible.

-> He will bring you whatever you want, go wherever you feel most comfortable. Anything you need, he will try his best to provide. 

-> If you need to have a good cry, Hosea hands you his handkerchief and tells you to let it all out. There’s no point in hiding your emotions now and he assures you that tomorrow will be a better day.

Tilly

-> Tilly’s great because she’ll let you vent about your bad day but she also knows when to stop you. She wants the best for you and won’t let you rant all day about pointless things.

-> If you start to spiral, she stops you and tells you to let it go. You’ve complained about your shitty day but it’s important not to dwell on it.

-> Before ending the conversation, Tilly gives you a firm but understanding hug and lets you know that she’s here for you if you have another bad day.

Sadie

-> Sadie can put up with a lot of life’s shit. But seeing you upset and feeling miserable? It makes her feel frustrated and pissed off.

-> She’s had some terrible days so she knows the best thing to do is get a blanket, a hot drink and bring you somewhere quiet. Sadie wraps the blanket around you and sits with you.

-> She brushes your hair with her fingers and she softly asks you how you are. It’s strange to hear Sadie talk so softly but in a way it shows you how much she cares and wants to help 

[bartsugsy]

What’s your favourite Robron moment ?? 😊

OK YOU SENT THIS DAYS AGO AND IT’S BEEN STRESSING ME OUT BECAUSE HOW DOES ONE (1) HUMAN CHOOSE A SINGLE MOMENT???? answer: they do not choose a single moment

ANYWAY RULES ARE FOR LOSERS HERE’S 20 RANDOM MOMENTS I LOVE:

20. THAT TIME DURING THE AFFAIR ERA WHERE ROBERT WAS LIKE HEY AARON AFTER I’M MARRIED WE’RE STOPPING THIS I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU AND THAT’S THAT AND AARON WAS LIKE ok but what if we didn’t AND ROBERT WAS LIKE OK GOOD POINT WELL MADE GUESS WE SHOULD MEET IN A BARN AND BANG ON THE DAY OF MY WEDDING THIS CAN ONLY GO WELL

19. THAT TIME WHEN ROBERT PAID AN INSANE AMOUNT OF MONEY TO HELP AARON FIND SANDRA BC HE NEEDED HER FOR HIS CASE AND THEN REFUSED TO LET AARON GO TO SEE SANDRA ALONE AND WAS JUST GENUINELY QUIETLY SUPPORTIVE. AND THEY STILL LOVED EACH OTHER AND AARON FELT THAT AND FELT LIKE HE HAD TO KISS ROBERT THEN AND THERE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T REALISE THAT ROB WOULD WAIT FOR HIM TO SORT HIS SHIT OUT FIRST BUT ROB EXPLICITLY CLARIFIED FOR HIM THAT HE WASN’T GOING ANYWHERE

18. A LITTLE EARLIER IN THAT ERA, WHEN AARON WAS HIDING OUT IN IRELAND AND ROBERT WOULD JUST WALK INTO EVERY SCENE DEMANDING TO KNOW WHERE AARON WAS. EVERY SINGLE SCENE.

17. THAT TIME AARON SPOKE HORRIBLE FRENCH (HE LIVED IN FRANCE FOR Y E A R S HOW DID HE COPE) AND ROB WAS LIKE ........i’m dating the hottest man alive?

16. THAT TIME ROBERT LITERALLY GAVE UP HIS COMPANY AND HIS ENTIRE FUCKIN HOUSE JUST TO GET AARON BACK BC HE WAS SO TERRIFIED FOR HIS SAFETY

15. THAT TIME DURING THE AFFAIR WHEN ROBERT FINANGLED IT SO THAT ALL OF THE WHITES WENT ON HOLIDAY AND HE JUST FULL ON MOVED AARON INTO HOME FARM AND THEY ACTED LIKE A FULL ON MARRIED COUPLE FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK, LIKE THE MOST INSANE PREVIEW OF THEIR FUTURE EVER DESIGNED

14. THAT TIME!!!! LACHLAN THREATENED ROBERT!!! SO AARON JUST FUCKIN???? KIDNAPPED???? HIM?????????? A LITERAL TEENAGER???????????? AARON KIDNAPPED A FUCKIN TEENAGER BC HE THREATENED TO PUT ROBERT IN JAIL (and yes used methods that hit v close to home for aaron to do so) BUT HONESTLY HE SHOVED A TEENAGER INTO HIS BOOT BC??? SURE?????? they’re both insane

13. OH YEAH THAT TIME ROBERT BURNED 100K BECAUSE AARON, FEELING ANNOYED AND PETTY, INSINUATED THAT ROBERT LOVED MONEY MORE THAN AARON AND FRANKLY AARON IS ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE ROBERT DOESN’T PUT MONEY AHEAD OF (or he used to, before he Grew As A Person tm) (i’m sure that won’t stick

12.THAT TIME THEY GOT MARRIED

11. ROBERT JUST WANTED TO THROW AARON THIS MASSIVE SYMBOLIC SHOW OF LOVE AND DEVOTION BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON AND HE WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT AND WHEN IT WASN’T HE WENT OFF IN A STROP BUT AARON COULD LITERALLY GET MARRIED TO ROBERT WHILST STANDING IN A PILE OF LITERAL RUBBISH AND BE HAPPY BC AARON DOESNT CARE HE JUST WANTS TO BE MARRIED (ROBERT ALSO JUST WANTS TO BE MARRIED BUT HE HAS STANDARDS OK) AND SO AARON WENT AFTER HIM AND TALKED HIM DOWN AND THEN THEY JUST SAID FUCK IT AND GOT MARRIED ALONE, IN A PLACE THAT WAS SPECIAL TO THEM, BECAUSE IT WAS LITERALLY JUST FOR THEM AND ABOUT THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER??? AND IT WAS ABOUT KNOWING THAT AFTER PRISON THEY’D STILL COME BACK TO ONE ANOTHER????? AND THAT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED (WAY LONGER) (AND WAS A LOT MESSIER) BUT IT STILL HAPPENED BC THEIR FUTURES ARE WITH ONE ANOTHER AND THEY EARNED THAT AND BOTH FOUGHT FOR EACH OTHER MASSIVELY

10. THAT TIME AARON WAS IN HOSPITAL DURING SSW AND ROBERT SAT IN THE WAITING ROOM WITH CHAS AND LOOKED DEVASTATED BC HE COULD LOSE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE NBD. ROBERT WAS SO SAD BUT ALSO SO FRUSTRATED WITH HIMSELF AND HE FINALLY GOT TO EXPRESS HIS REGRETS OVER THE AFFAIR ERA AND HOW MUCH ~TIME HE WASTED FUCKIN AROUND BC HE WAS SCARED AND ALSO LBR WANTED THAT WHITE MONEY AND POWER WHEN INSTEAD HE COULD HAVE JUST BEEN FUCKIN HAPPY AND LIVING HIS LIFE WITH AARON, WHICH IS ULTIMATELY THE ONLY FUTURE HE WANTS FOR HIMSELF AND AALDHSDFOH THE JOURNEY!! ROBERT SUGDEN!!!! HAS BEEN ON!!!!!!! IS SO GOOD FIGHT ME

9. SPEAKING OF HOSPITALS, THAT TIME ROBERT GOT HIT BY A CAR AND AARON FUCKIN RACED TO THE HOSPITAL AND CRIED AT ROB’S BEDSIDE DESPITE HAVING OSTENSIBLY MOVED ON FROM ROBERT BC HEY NEWSFLASH AARON NEVER STOPPED LOVING ROBERT JACOB SUGDEN. AND THEN THEY PROMISED TO BE FRIENDS AND ROBERT TOLD AARON HE’D BE THE BEST FRIEND HE’D EVER HAVE AND I DIED.

8. THAT TIME THEY JOKED ABOUT ANAL SEX IN THE SCRAPYARD #GAYCULTURE

7. THAT TIME!!!! ROBERT WENT TO A GAY BAR!!! TO TRY AND GET OVER AARON!!!! BUT BECAUSE AARON IS A FUCKIN LUNATIC WHO, AGAIN, NEVER STOPPED LOVING ROBERT JACOB SUGDEN, AARON FOLLOWED HIM AND THEN JUST SORT OF LURKED IN THE SHADOWS LOOKING SAD AND ESSENTIALLY WAS PREPARED TO TORTURE HIMSELF WITH WATCHING ROB PICK UP A DUDE BC HE COULDN’T STOP ROBERT BUT ALSO, INTERNALLY, HE REALLY WANTED TO STOP ROBERT

6. OH AND THEN AARON SAW ROB GO OUTSIDE ALONE AND TOOK HIS CHANCE TO SAY SOMETHING AND THEY JUST SORT OF SADLY FLIRTED WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY BOTH DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE TOGETHER??? AND FELT THAT THEY COULDN’T BE???? BUT STILL COULDN’T NOT FLIRT WITH ONE ANOTHER????????

5. THAT TIME AARON WAS LIKE HEY ROBERT DON’T COME TO COURT WITH ME AND ROB WAS LIKE .....YEAH WHATEVER AND THEN SHOWED UP IN COURT ANYWAY AND AARON WAS LIKE ??? BUT ALSO :’) AND ROB WAS JUST LIKE LOL SINCE WHEN DO I EVER LISTEN TO U

4. THAT TIME THEY TOOK THEMSELVES OFF TO A HOTEL AND THEN LEFT IT IN A LITERAL STATE??? AND THEN JOKED ABOUT IT???? BC THEY SPENT ALL NIGHT BANGING????? AND AARON HAD LITERALLY FORCED ROBERT TO TURN HIS PHONE OFF BC CLEARLY ROBERT HAS A PROBLEM #relatable #me (oh and meanwhile gerry was dying but yk we’re talking abt robron here)

3. GDI THAT TIME WHEN ROBERT LITERALLY THOUGHT HE HAD GOTTEN AWAY WITH SLEEPING WITH REBECCA AND STILL TOLD AARON THE TRUTH ANYWAY BC HE JUST??? COULDN’T LIE TO HIS HUSBAND???????? ROBERT, WHO LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING??? AND AARON UNDERSTOOD THAT GROWTH DESPITE OBVIOUSLY BEING HEARTBROKEN AND DEVASTATED RIP, BC AARON KNOWS ROBERT. THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL!!!!! 

2. THAT TIME WHEN AARON WAS SO ANNOYED THAT HE COULDN’T BONE ROBERT IN PEACE THAT HE DECIDED TO SUGGEST THEY MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THEN THEY (ULTIMATELY) FUCKIN DID AND THEN ROB WAS LIKE HEEEEY TIME 2 PROPOSE AND PLANNED THIS INSANE PLAN INVOLVING ALL OF THE BREAD IN THE VILLAGE TO SHOW AARON JUST HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM BC HE DOES

1.5 WAIT I HAVE TWO MORE HOLY SHIT THAT TIME!!!!!!!!! THEY LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! BOTH PLANNED TO PROPOSE TO ONE ANOTHER????? AT THE SAME TIME????????? IN THE EXACT SAME WAY?????????????? WHO ARE THEY WHAT IS THIS???? DID THEY LITERALLY LIKE.... HAVE THIS CONVERSATION MID-BONE???? WHY WERE THEY BOTH THINKING ABOUT PROPOSING AT THE SAME TIME WITH THE SAME PLAN TO GO BACK TO WHERE THEY FIRST KISSED???? AND THEIR FAMILIES, WHEN THEY FOUND THIS OUT, WERE JUST LIKE ....oh lol AND THEN NEVER MENTIONED HOW FUCKING INSANE THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS THAT THIS IS WHAT THEY DID gdi who are they. OH AND THEN THEY ACCIDENTALLY??? ENDED UP AT THE LAY-BY ANYWAY????? BECAUSE ROBERT’S CAR ACTUALLY BROKE THE FUCK DOWN BC GOD CLEARLY SHIPS IT OR SOME SHIT AND THEN AARON WAS LIKE lol where are we never seen it before x EVEN THOUGH NOT 24 HOURS EARLIER HE WAS WAXING LYRICAL TO LIV OVER HOW ROMANTIC IT WOULD BE TO TAKE ROBERT TO THAT VERY SPOT AND FUCKIN ASK HIM TO MARRY HIM. AGAIN. BECAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY FUCKIN MARRIED?????? god they’re lunatics. OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN ROB WENT TO PROPOSE AND AARON LITERALL GOT ANNOYED BC HE WAS LIKE NO IT’S MY TURN BACK OFF SUGDEN AND THEN THEY SAID IT AT THE SAME FUCKIN TIME bc they’re literally just insane i can’t deal with them.

1. that time aaron made a speech about how robert jacob sugden, knowing every terrible thing he’s ever done and having been victim to his stupidity, manipulation, hunger for power and money and general terribleness, is still a good person who deserves love bc as much as aaron knows the bad that robert’s done, he also knows all of the good and just how far he’s come - and robert knows now, bc he’s done so much to try and be a better person for aaron and for their family and now he literally is actually sort of proud of the person he’s become and so much of that is aaron’s influence and like... aaron makes robert a better person by loving him as much as he does and robert in return loves aaron more than anything and they both recognise this love within each other and does it literally go beyond common sense? yes. are they basically a cautionary tale as to why maybe there is such a thing as too much love? u know they are. but are they perfect for each other? RIP YES THEY ARE THIS ISN’T GOING UNDER A CUT READ THIS ENTIRE POST AND SUFFER WITH ME GDI

[ts-autumns-world]

ROP

As promised here are the rites of passage that Captain, Jinx, and Mikki wrote for the cast!

All of Jinx’s Messages: https://youtu.be/kbk2GI6nW-E

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Captain: hey khalid! its been a short 4 days with you but i know that ur such an amazing person and u have such a bubbly personality. i do wish we get to know each other more.. its a bit sucky that your schedule kinda prevented you from being a bit more active :((

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Mikki: KHALID I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS BUT I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO BE FIRST BOOT. i really didn’t. You were so busy at the beginning and we didn’t talk a lot but the little time we did have talking to each other made me see how calm and good it felt to talk to you. I had such a good feeling and really wanted you to stay around longer but unfortunately it wasn’t anything i could do on my own. I hope we get another opportunity to get to know each other properly.

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Captain: we didn't meet each other in this game but i hope u had a fun time even though its short! and hopefully, we'll see each other around the community mwah!

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Mikki: we never got to meet but you seem genuinely fun and i’m sad i never got to meet you!!!! I’m sorry we sent jinx to the outhouse during the tribal you were voted out on. Idk if them being there would have helped at all but ashjsajhasjh if it would have i’m sorry!!!!

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Captain: i've seen you around but we haven't rlly talked/met each other yet. u seem to be amazing and i hope we'll get to play together some day

. Mikki: i’m also sad we didn’t get to meet!!!!!! You really seemed super active and i’ve never seen you around before so i was hoping our paths would cross but unfortunately that never happened :(( 

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Captain: we haven't been able to meet so its such a missed opportunity to not get to play together. you seem to be very cool! hope u had fun in autumns world

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Mikki: it was so nice to talk to you and i feel so bad about how unlucky you got in the tribe swap but i had to do what i needed to to keep my tribe and grey safe like i wanted.

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Captain: OMG BENJ sobs... urgh i wish you made the merge so that we could meet each other again and our trio of you/me/mikki would have streamrolled the season! i enjoyed every conversation we had and u rlly are such a dedicated player. and u deserved the BEST!! i wish you the best and i hope to see you around in the community and maybe we'll get to play together and go the end together WOOO! urgh.. ur so sweet sobs...

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Mikki: *takes a deep breath* this is going to be the hardest one to write. And i don’t even know what to say because nothing i do say will properly express how fortunate i am that we got to actually properly meet and talk!!!!!! And become friends LIKE BENJ I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH and i’m so sad at how robbed you were. You were genuinely my number one and i looked forward to talking to you constantly every day. Talking to you was so easy and our plans for the future of the game MADE ME SO EXCITED and i was so ready to play with you and make moves and have fun and go far together. Your elimination made me really sad and i was in a big funk for a long time after and even at my worst in like f6 when i was ready to give up, autumn would ask me “what would benj say” and that one question made me snap out of it and fight further. When i found an idol at f5 and got to play it all i could think about was when you told me you wanted to find an idol to bring it to me to show me and i’m just :SOB: we really got robbed in getting to play together in merge and i really hope we get another chance to. I wish i did more to protect you. I should have done more and it was my biggest regret since. Thank you for being an incredible ally to me and reminding me what i love the most about games: making genuine friendships that mean more to me than the game itself. Ilysm <3

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Captain: i know we didn't end very well on cow and thats kinda the main thing that made me not fully trust you in this game. its probably my bad cause i think you really wanted to work with me but i mean in our short time here, we did work together! good luck with everything in your life blake!

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Mikki: blake!!! It was so fun to play with you while we could. I’m sorry you felt so left out in the tribal we had together before you went out but i hope you understand it wasn’t anything personal and i really did just assume you and raffy were close. I’m sorry for not trusting you more.

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Captain: awww Lily! i rlly enjoyed our conversation! like you were the one that i felt that our conversation just flew naturally and i loved how u tried to talk to me and ur just the sweetest!! i'm happy we met here cause ur literally so cool and so nice. u have this calming energy that i don't know how to explain dsfsdfsdfdsf. but YEA!! i hope u feel the same way as me and hope to see you around in the community!!

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Mikki: ahhhhh right before you left you told me that we will see if i made the right choice with who i sided with and sahsajhjhjas i like to think i did??? and i hope you agree. You were so so so kind and i’m sad we didn’t get to know each other before merge, i had to make a gut instinct kind of choice and it sucked that i had to make it so soon. I wonder how differently things would have been if i voted with og llih instead and kept you safe. You fought til the very end and it inspired me so much

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Captain: RAFFY! we were such a perfect pair when u told me ur also tired of talking to ppl dfsdfsdfsdf thats a big mood! urgh.. i rlly wish u could've gone a bit further because ik u trusted me a lot and i also trusted you... in some way just because i had other alliances. i tried so hard to save you but yea it didn't succeed. i hope ur doing great and hopefully we'll meet again

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Mikki: screams RAFFY I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW OR NOT BUT this whole season i’ve had one burning question on my mind Does Raffy Remember Me? BECAUSE we played together in a game once before but i didn’t REALISE it was you at first so we both said it was nice to meet each other but then i realised it was you !!!!! from bb glass but i never knew if you knew it was me or not and i didn’t bring it up because HJASHJASJH I WAS WORRIED IDK IT WAS JUST an ongoing thing and became kind of a meme and i’m so excited to know the answer. But anyways ashjashjs i’m sorry for trying to vote you out but i really meant it when i said i wanted to play with you after. I wish we could have!!! I wanted us to have a redemption arc and be allies for real so badly. But my alliance with jinx and chris changed their votes to you and were so paranoid but i think they just didn’t want to vote out grey HJASJHASJH and i ended up caving out of fear. I had so much fun playing with you tho!!! And the superidol was one of the most exciting moments of this game even tho it did mean i lost one of my closest allies.

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Captain: I wish we talked more tbh because u were the first person to dm me in the swap and i was like lily o is so cool and i liked lily o a lot! but then we just didn't talk after that. I know its partially my faults but ur fun to talk to when we got to talk to each other! u may not know this but u were kinda the part that made me put more effort into this game when i lied to you about wanting to target jinx/mikki and u told mikki about that and she told me back hehe! hope we see each other around lily!

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Mikki: LILY YOU WERE ONE OF THE FUNNEST PEOPLE TO TALK TO!!!!! I had such a blast in our dms. I feel like we could talk about anything and it was fun. Hell you even explained the history of pacman to me and i was INVESTED in every part of it!!! Voting you out was partly fuelled by how good you are at comps and partly because i got bitter about the timezone advantage comment ashsahjsahj but nevertheless i found you incredible to talk to and play with and i’m so happy we could meet and have fun with each other while we did!!!

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Captain: JOEYYYYYY! i still feel bad about that pyramid challenge because u shouldnt have gotten me as ur pair lmaoo. i literally didn't know anything americans!! anyways!! our time together is for sure interesting. cause like ik ur with me but then u told jinx and monty that they need to be careful about mikki/captain and thats the reason why i didnt fully trust you in game! like ur a good ally but sometimes, ur doing too much. also, i appreciated u trying to talk to me a lot. I  wish i did the same with you but life was so crazy that i could only reply with like short answers that didnt give anything much. At least we made it to jury together this time!

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Mikki: joey joey joey joey JOEY sjhhjsahjasahj oh my god it was a time and a half with you i swear. I would talk to you and then go into my conf and rant about how JOEY KEEPS SAYING I’M A THREAT GRRR IM SO ANNOYED and then i would talk to you more and go back in there after 2 minutes and be like “nevermind i love joey again” ahjashjsahj you are such a great friend joey and you give me so much joy to talk to. One of the things i’m most proud of is winning that endurance comp and i would have never done that if it wasn’t for you shjashj YOU PUSHED ME TO PLAY BETTER AND GO HARDER and i’ll never forget that. Thank you for helping me see what i’m capable of and for being a genuinely kind and fun person to be around.

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Captain: oh monty DFSDFDSFDS we didn't really talk much privately but most of the times i talked to you, i was always honest with you and i think u were the same way with me too so it kinda raised my eyebrows a bit when u told me that we're gonna be worried about captain/mikki later in the game fdsfsdfsdfsd i didn't talk much game with you but ik u played a good game even though i think u might not know whats going on most of the times lmaoo!! anyways, its been a fun time with you and ofc, u can't get rid of me cause im gonna be haunting u as an intern in CoW forever!!!

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Mikki: PLS ASHJASHJA we didn’t talk much at all in this game apart from when tribals were happening and that was extremely iconic of us ashjashjasjh i appreciate and love you so much monty!!!! You’re one of the best people i know and i’m glad we got to play together for a hot second even if it wasn’t for long and it was just these super rushed convos before tribal while i was awake at a ridiculous hour ashashjas

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Captain: okay so ur vote is literally the HARDEST vote ever in my org history but it has to be done because you and jude were such a tight duo and yes i knew about u having 2 idols and giving jude one since the beginning of the merge. i feel like that was the right time to, as autumn said, blindside. but you know i LOVE you so much. my grandpa! You are literally one of the nicest people in this community and your words have helped me a lot in this season. it hurt me so much to vote for you but thats how the game goes and i hope u understand because i value our relationship so much. we've played together for 4 times now and i love you more and more each time we play together. i just love ur puns and like ur old ways of saying things fsfsdfsdf that #chrisstyle and i just love everything that is YOU. i know we're gonna be fine after this and i hope ur proud of me and forgive me for voting you out. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Chris i LOVE YOUUUUU. sobs. im so happy we got to play together again ahhhhh

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Mikki: chris you are literally the nicest human i’ve ever known. You exude such a genuine kindness i can’t even comprehend it. Your messages always put a smile on my face and voting you out was the hardest vote i ever did and i literally wrote in my conf that voting you out would be like blindsiding your grandpa after he helps you move in and has a cup of tea with you :sob: like you’re just one of the best guys i’ve ever met and have this pure wholesome kind energy i’ve never encountered with anyone else. Playing with you was amazing and i loved our alliance with captain and jinx. But i knew your game was incredible and to see myself and captain get any further we had to do the unthinkable. You had the magician in my tarot readings for a reason and it’s because you’re so powerful!!!!! I can’t wait to ask you so many questions when this is over.

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Captain: bae- i still don't know why you had a crush on me but we had such a cute showmance arc in this series. i mean yes i targeted you for a few times just because we didn't talk before fsdfsdsdf like we communicated in the house chat but no one actually dm'ed each other first so im like i don't know where ur head is at and u seem to be dangerous to my game!! i mean u ended up not voting for me so thank you for that even though i can't do the same. i have to say that i enjoyed our convo a lot.. u always lit up my smile whenever u dm'ed me with tiktoks or like just ur random chit chat LMAO! the only downside was that we didn't rlly talk game much except for that one vote i think the lily o vote where we talked about getting joey out and ended up voting for lily o. but yes, i will miss our convo here a lot grey :(( u deserved BETTER!

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Mikki: GREY OMG you’re one of the funniest people i’ve known. Our dms were so chaotic and you always broke the ice in the tribe chat by saying the randomest and funniest things. Thank you for making me laugh and for sharing your stories with me and chris and jinx on call. I really enjoyed getting to know you and i care so much for you. Also you appreciate captain and for that you have taste HJASHJSA

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Captain: JUDE!! you were such a powerhouse in this game like literally had u made the final 2, u would've won for sure and thats the reason why i fought so hard in the pressure cooker comp cause i couldn't risk you getting into the final 3 and potentially won the last IC. So i'm so sorry i had to vote you out. i had such a fun time getting to know you like just like i told you, i liked you since the premiere night when i watched ur intro vid and was like 'JUDE IS SO COOL' in my DR and i wanted to play with you.. then we got to play together and got to know each other. We didn't get to talk game much but like ik i could trust you in some ways! and again ur the coolest jude.. that pressure cooker will go down as one of the most iconic pressure cooker challenges in the tumblr survivor history for sure. hope to see u around the community

.

Mikki: JUDE i’m so sorry everything ended the way it did. I always meant what i said to you, that i would love to see you win. And you absolutely deserved to. Your game was amazing and i spent every second admiring you and everything you did. From the moment we played tic tac toe together i knew i was a jude stan and i’m so happy we got to have so much fun together and PLAYED PYRAMID TOO!!!! You’re absolutely remarkable and an easy person to love and want to protect, i can only dream of having your social game. You also never voted for me even when i thought you would BECAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT IT MADE THE MOST SENSE but you never did and i’m really emotional about that. I think so highly of you and i hope we can be friends after all of this <3

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Mikki: WE FINALLY GOT TO WASH AWAY OUR SAILOR MOON SINS CAN YOU BELIEVE ASHJHJASHJASAHJS we finally did it!!!!! YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!!! I am so proud of the game you played and i know it wasn’t easy for you at all. You showed just how much you wanted this and you never took the easy route. I’m proud to have played alongside you and for all our nights watching survivor and 7th heaven YOU ARE ALSO ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS and i love you so much

---

Mikki: you know how much you mean to me. I love you so much and i’m so happy we once again got to play together. I am SO proud of you and the game you played. You’re an under the radar genius who knows how to get your information and how to use it. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO and i love seeing you constantly prove yourself wrong and show just how incredible you are. You always put me first and take care of me :pls: i am so lucky to have you as one of my best friends and i can’t tell you enough how much i love you. Thank you for being in my life <3

[birlcholtz]

for the better

read it on Ao3 (part of the Zimbits Airport AU-verse) (I would recommend reading this on Ao3, actually, because of the formatting, but it’s here too for convenience) (also let me know if the link doesn’t work? bc i’m not 100% sure about it)

Jack’s been planning this day for a long time now. He even made a Twitter account for it, two months ago, and tweeted occasionally to build up a following (it was easier once he got that little check mark thing next to his handle). He has a few thousand followers, which is enough to get the message out, and he even has his tweet drafted.

The first draft of it was ‘hello everyone, I just wanted you to know that I am bisexual.’ Tater had taken one look at that and vetoed it. With every extra revision Jack suggested (adding an exclamation point, saying ‘you all’ instead of ‘you,’ et cetera, et cetera, et cetera), Tater had still shaken his head. So Jack took it to Georgia.

“I mean... it’s okay,” George had said, furrowing her brow at the screen. “It’s a little terse, though.”

“But I don’t need to say anything else to get the point across, do I?”

“Well, no. But it’s still very detached.”

Still, after a lot of reworking (and, okay, George does scrap that entire thing and make him start from scratch), they come up with something acceptable. Something that Jack might even say is good.

And then it all gets ruined at the last moment.

Monday morning at around ten o’clock (he’s been given the day off from practice to sort everything out), Jack opens up his Twitter account, intending to post the string of tweets that he and George have planned out, but the first thing he sees is a tweet from Kent.

Kent V. Parson @kparse

tired of all the marriage proposals from women, so i’m just gonna say it: i am both gay af and not taking offers of marriage at this time

Kent V. Parson @kparse

#sorrynotsorry for stealing ur thunder @jlzimmermann

Jack sighs and texts Georgia before composing a tweet as well.

Jack Zimmermann @jlzimmermann

disappointed in @kparse for ruining my announcement

Jack Zimmermann @jlzimmermann

he *did* already know i was going to come out as bi today, so this is quite rude

And then he leaves it like that and texts Georgia that he’s already gone ahead with the plan. She still hasn’t replied to the first one, so she’s probably either working out or so exasperated with him that she’s just decided not to reply. He also silences his phone, then texts Bitty, who’s back at Samwell.

Jack: I did it.

Bitty: congratulations!! <3 on twitter?

Jack: Yeah.

Bitty: you seem kind of put out?

Jack: Kent Parson came out before I did.

Bitty: hold on i’m going on twitter rn

Jack waits for a little while, long enough for Bitty to plausibly have read both Kent’s and his tweets, and then sends a text back.

Jack: Very rude of him. Now I can’t even be the first out player in the NHL.

Jack: That’s probably why he did it, to be honest. He likes being first.

Bitty: it might also work well for u, though

Bitty: take away some of the backlash maybe?

Jack: That’s true, but it doesn’t mean I can’t still be annoyed at him.

Bitty: yeah ofc, i would be too

Bitty: anyway i gtg to class so i’ll ttyl, take care of urself today ok?

Jack: Yeah.

Bitty: text me if u need anything, have a good day <3

Jack: You too <3

Bitty: :)

Georgia calls him about half an hour later and outlines the steps that the Falconers’ management are going to take, then promises to text him when they’ve released their statement and makes him promise to take care of himself today, just like Bitty. She also requests that he leave the apartment as little as possible, preferably not at all, so reporters don’t try to corner him in public. No sooner has she said goodbye and hung up than Jack hears knocking on his door. A glance through the peephole reveals it to be Snowy, Tater, and a case of beer, and he opens the door.

“Good job today, Zimmboni,” Tater says as soon as the door opens, shoving the beer into Snowy’s hands so that he can hug Jack. “Poots said to tell you he is proud. He is with trainer, pinched nerve. He will be here soon.”

“Everyone else is scrimmaging, or at least they were when we left,” Snowy adds as Tater releases Jack and steps past him into the apartment. “I don’t know if they saw us leaving and decided to let it go or genuinely didn’t notice.”

“They’re welcome to come over too once practice is over,” Jack says, stepping back to let Snowy in and then shutting the door. “But not before they’ve showered. Also, they should bring their own beer. I don’t have enough.”

Snowy nods. “I’ll text them.” He pulls out his phone and texts the rest of the Falconers, but then checks on something else and bursts out laughing.

“What?”

“Parson started a hashtag.”

“A hashtag?”

“Yup. A fucking hashtag.” Snowy shows Jack his phone screen.

Kent V. Parson @kparse

@jlzimmermann It had to be done. #StealJacksThunder

“Great,” Jack sighs.

“But that’s not all.”

“There’s more?”

Tater pokes his head out of the kitchen. “You are talking about hashtag, yes? Many people are using it.”

“Like who?” Jack asks. “And what are they doing with it?”

“Rob Jeffries from the Schooners did,” Snowy says before Tater can answer. “Jack, just check Twitter for yourself. There’s way too many of these for me to tell you all of them.”

Jack does.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles.

Rob Jeffries @rjeffriesnhl

@jlzimmermann Sorry, man. I’m bi too #StealJacksThunder

Las Vegas Aces @lasvegasaces

Proud of @kparse for starting his own hashtag. The Aces organization supports players no matter their orientation #StealJacksThunder

Aleks Olsen @aleksolsen

maybe not first out LGBTQ+ NHL player in league, but am first on Oilers & officially first out aro/ace NHL player #StealJacksThunder

Providence Falconers @pvdfalconers

The Falconers organization stands with & supports our LGBTQ+ players. Congrats @jlzimmermann for starting this whole thing

Las Vegas Aces @lasvegasaces

@pvdfalconers Excuse you, @kparse came out first

Providence Falconers @pvdfalconers

@lasvegasaces Excuse *you*, it was @jlzimmermann ‘s idea. Don’t try to #StealJacksThunder on our watch!

Besides the team Twitter accounts bickering with each other, it just goes on and on and on— NHL players deciding, on the spur of the moment, to come out on Twitter, and all of them using that same hashtag. The one that makes Jack almost drop his phone, though, is a string of tweets from someone he knows very well.

Bob Zimmermann @mrbadbob

Extremely proud of my son @jlzimmermann for having the courage to show the world who he is. Cannot fully express how happy I am for him

Bob Zimmermann @mrbadbob

There were LGBTQ+ players when I was in the NHL, there always have & always will be & now we are free to be ourselves

Bob Zimmermann @mrbadbob

& say what you like @kparse but @jlzimmermann started this, u just made a hashtag :P

Bob Zimmermann @mrbadbob

I’m almost done I just have one more thing to say, and that is: sorry, son, I’m pansexual #StealJacksThunder

Jack looks up slowly, aware that both Snowy and Tater are staring at him. “My dad just came out as pan on Twitter. And he used the goddamn hashtag.”

“I love your dad,” Snowy says as Tater howls with laughter. “Oh, that reminds me.” He taps at his phone, and when he turns it off and puts it back in his pocket Jack checks his own— sure enough, Snowy has mentioned him in a tweet.

Aiden Snow @asnowynhl

@jlzimmermann im gay #StealJacksThunder #sorryjack

“God damn it, Snowy.” Jack doesn’t mention that as far as he knew, Snowy wasn’t out to anyone— him included— before just now. Maybe saying it through a screen is easier for him.

“At least I apologized in the tweet,” Snowy says. “Let’s open that beer, I suddenly have a need for one.”

They do pretty much nothing for the rest of the late morning and afternoon. Poots arrives about an hour after Snowy and Tater did, and the rest of the team barrels in through the door at around four, which is before practice was supposed to end. Jack doesn’t ask. They have, in fact, showered and brought their own alcohol. Jack turns on the TV and somehow finds his way to a TV show about hunting sasquatches, which works well as background noise, and every so often someone pulls out their phone and announces the latest NHL or ex-NHL player to have come out via Twitter. It’s an impressive list.

When there’s another knock on the door a little after six-thirty, Jack looks around, confused. Practically the entire roster is here, except Socks, who’s got a mild concussion and is staying home. Regardless, he gets up to answer it.

“Jack!” Bitty cries once the door opens, practically glomming onto him like a koala and wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck. “I saw the hashtag, and all the players, and your dad— how are you doing?”

“Okay, considering,” Jack says, holding Bitty up with one hand while he closes the door with the other. “I’ve only been looking at the hashtag, haven’t checked any of my mentions.”

“That’s probably smart,” Bitty says. “You can put me down.”

“Do you want me to put you down?”

Bitty considers. “Not really, but my arms are going to start hurting if I keep dangling off of you like this.”

Jack swings Bitty’s legs up so he’s in bridal style. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Fine, Zimmboni,” Tater shouts from the living room.

“How do you know I’m committing a fineable offense?” Jack yells back.

“Is obvious. Bitty is here.”

“Fair enough.”

Just then, a sasquatch-y howl emits from the other room— probably the TV. Bitty raises one eyebrow. “What on earth was that?”

“We’re watching a TV show on locating Bigfoot,” Jack says by way of explanation. “It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and the reenactments are awful but it’s a pretty good distraction.”

“We? How many people do you— don’t tell me, the entire Falconers roster.”

“Yeah. Except Socks— Sokolov. He’s staying home because of a concussion.”

“I must say I never took you for a partier, Mr. Zimmermann,” Bitty says, smiling up at him. “We’re just learning more and more about each other every day, aren’t we?”

“Oh, yeah. Friday evening I learned your deepest, darkest secrets, Saturday I learned how good of a baker you are, Sunday I learned your favorite color, and here we are now. Seems to me we’re doing things in reverse order.”

“Who said there had to be an order?”

“That’s true.”

Bitty nods towards the living room. “Let’s go that way. I want to see this sasquatch-hunting TV show.”

“As you wish.”

[tangledboysandfracturedgirls]

Part III: 1/3/17

A phone rang. I didn't recognize the ringtone and attempted to will it to stop. The sound reverberated through my head, which already felt like it had been blended with a Vitamix. I knew without opening my eyes that the world was too bright. Part of me wanted to keep my eyes closed and just fall back asleep (which would most likely not occur).

The last thing I remembered from the night was making out with Rob under the deck. After that, my night was a blur. I knew I wasn't on the beach anymore, but could still feel sand over my body.

The phone continued to ring, taunting my hangover out of dormancy.

I opened my eyes to find the phone, rationalizing that the incessant ringing was worse than any amount of morning sunshine. Upon opening my eyes, I discovered myself alone in a bed wearing a large T-shirt that read “Colonial Soccer." I followed my ears under the bed and found the culprit phone. I dismissed the alarm, which ceased the ringing.

I evaluated the room and my being. I still had on my underwear, and didn't feel like I had sex the night before (which was a good sign, as I had learned the hard way that blackout sex was never good for anyone involved). Clearly I blacked out last night, probably from Eddie's Mojitos. I easily found my clutch and  dress neatly folded on top of a dresser.

I sent a text to Steffi, hoping she would have some knowledge of where I was, and what had happened last night.

8:05am Me Awake in a bed—where r u?

I normally made it a rule to avoid text message abbreviation, but made an exception for my hangover. While on my phone, I swallowed my pride and checked my text messages from the night before, hoping to find some answers or clues. Other than three texts saying “I sleeps” to Steffi at 3am,  I hadn't been textually active (which was probably a blessing).

8:07am Steffi Kitchen. FOOD

I wandered outside of the bedroom and realized I was still at Taylor's house, which would explain Steffi's text message (and should have been expected given the length of the trek back to Steffi's). I smelled bacon, and followed my nose to the kitchen where Steffi sat at the island while Taylor cooked breakfast.

“Good morning." Steffi chirped as I joined her at the counter

“Morning Steffi, morning Taylor." I mumbled, pained to even speak. “Water please."

Steffi slid me her glass, which I promptly guzzled.

“Thank you." The water had immediately made me feel better.

“Rough night?" Taylor asked looking up from the eggs and bacon.

“How would I even know?" I asked rhetorically. “Apparently I thought it would be a good idea to follow a no shower happy hour with excessive drinking at a house party where I knew approximately no one and do bottle shots.”

“Aw, Marge." Steffi said with sympathy. She didn't seem to be hungover at all and I suspected she and Taylor had hooked up last night (given their chummy morning interactions).

“Blackout central." I explained to no one.

“Do you remember doing keg stands?" Taylor asked.

“What? Oh God. Don't tell me I did. I fucking hate beer.”

“You're actually pretty good at them. Much better than Steffi." Taylor cutely teased.

“Hey! I'm not that bad." Steffi flirted back. Dealing with all this cutesy flirting was amplifying my hangover. “What's the last thing you remember?” Steffi asked.

I felt embarrassed to talk about my hook up with his cousin (Rob) in front of Taylor. “Um. I was on the beach with Rob? And then I woke up in the bed to this phone alarm.” I said, putting the phone on the counter top.

“Oh man." Taylor said, looking to Steffi.

“What?" Why was he looking at her?

“Nothing." Steffi said. “It's just that you had quite a night. So I don't know how long you were on the beach or anything, but as soon as people started chanting about keg stands you ran up to the deck covered in sand and in your underwear and bra—cute by the way—and you were like “I'm first!" So you did a keg stand, which impressed everyone, and then made out with Aaron, who was holding your legs.”

“Oh God. Where did Aaron come from? What happened to Rob?”

“No idea. But Aaron realized you were hella drunk so he kind of took care of you. He gave you pretzels and water—both of which you refused. You chewed the pretzels and then spat them at him and laughed.”

“Oh my God." I was horrified at my behavior. “Please tell me I didn't vom on him.”

“You didn't. You just kept trying to drink his beer. He found your dress and tried to get you to put it on—which you also refused. I don't know much of what happened between you two, but then he came over to us and asked where you should sleep, since apparently you passed out mid sentence. Taylor helped him carry you to the guestroom and you woke up while they were carrying you and you wouldn't let go of Aaron. He said you asked him to tell you a story so you could fall asleep. No idea if he did or not. But like ten minutes later he came out and said you were sleeping.”

“Great." I said sarcastically. “Is this his phone?” I pointed towards the alarm-phone.

Steffi appraised the phone. “I think so...I'll call it." Sure enough, the phone started to ring.

I handed the phone to Steffi. “Here.”

“I don't want it. You can return it to him." She handed it back to me.

“Steffi. Please. I embarrassed myself enough last night, I don't feel the need to relive it by seeing Aaron again. At least not while I'm hungover. Or sober for that matter." I knew the next time I saw Aaron I would be awkward. We didn't know each other well enough for him to know how to gauge my blackout level. I wasn't going to admit I had blacked out and didn't remember what had happened. Knowing my personality and how I interacted with boys I had hooked up with, I would normally play the avoidance card, but had a feeling that wouldn't work with Aaron (it was a small island and he would probably be at the Holland's a lot this summer).

“Well I'm going to guess that he's at our house anyways. He and Chopper were going to crash there. Apparently Eddie woke up and wanted to have a post-party party.”

“Oh, alright then." I needed to get rid of this hangover if I was going to see Aaron. “I'm sorry for being such a lush last night. Thanks for filling in the gaps. And for letting me sleep here." I thanked Taylor.

“No worries. We've all been there." He divvied up the eggs and bacon onto three plates, and sat next to Steffi.

“Honestly you weren't that drunk. Not like Homecoming drunk, or Halloween drunk." Steffi assured me.

“Still..." It hadn't been a very becoming debut into Beach Island City's house party scene.

“Last time I had a party Mark threw up in the hot tub and then got in it. It's kind of understood that there are different rules here." Taylor said, as if I knew Mark.

“Evidently." I still felt bad about getting so drunk, mainly because Aaron had to take care of me for a second time. I actually thought he was a nice guy and instead of getting to know him, I was getting drunk and throwing myself at him.

“Like we're on an island, it's like a land boat...so Maritime Laws, you know? What happens at sea..." Taylor said, clearly trying to make me feel better (which was super sweet of him).

“I guess. Sorry enough about me. How was your night?" I asked Taylor and Steffi, wanting to change the subject.

“Pretty good. We stayed up until everyone left, which was pretty late." Steffi answered. I had been surprised that more people hadn't slept over and impressed that they were able to bike home. Steffi fiddled with her phone. “Oh. Chopper just texted me. They're at our house. I told him we had Aaron's phone and we'd be home soon. They're surfing.”

“Alright." How could they surf with hangovers (assuming I wasn't the only one hungover from last night)?

We finished eating our breakfast and I headed outside to give Steffi and Taylor some alone time for goodbyes. I assumed they had hooked up and knew that Steffi would give me the rundown on the ride home.

Steffi came outside. “Ready?" She asked, getting on her bike.

“I guess. I might be slow. And I might pull over to vomit." I had little confidence in my ability to bike hungover.

“Alright." Steffi laughed and began biking.

I followed her lead. “So you and Taylor?”

“Well if I didn't have a crush on him before last night, I do now. He was so sweet. Like you know I totally would have fucked him last night, but he didn't even try anything. It was bizarre, at first I thought maybe he wasn't attracted to me, but I think he just didn't want me to feel like it was a one night stand type of thing, not that I would have. We talked all night—I'm really surprised I never ran into him before." Steffi had the tendency to ramble when she got excited.

“Did you hook up?”

“No—we just made out. And then we cuddled and slept in his bed. It was so nice." Steffi and I considered anything more than making out, but less than fucking, “hooking up.”

“That's so cute." I was genuinely happy for my friend.

“I mean he's cool and fun, but like I dunno—it's not like we're dating or anything. We'll see what happens.”

“It's just casual?" I asked. No one we knew really dated, you either fucked/hooked up casually, were “hanging out,” or were in a relationship (and few people at Cortlandt were in relationships). I assumed Steffi and Taylor would fall somewhere between hanging out and fucking.

“So far. I'm just getting to know him, so I can't say how I truly feel about him. And it's summer. I kind of want to just have fun and not think about any of that relationship bullshit I had to deal with when I was with Josh." Steffi explained.

[ts-crossroads]

I have a treat for you! The final four castaways took a trip down memory lane with their Rites of Passage. Let’s see what they had to say about their fourteen fallen castaways!

Autumn: I wish we’d gotten to meet!! You seem pretty cool and from all the stories I’ve heard, you’re still a legend 

Dane: Hey what’s up. I’m sorry but I’m really happy you left early on. I don’t like knowing too many people in the cast , especially someone that I’ve argued a bit with. It would have been nice to play with you though.

Jake: hey buddy ; ) Lol obviously we didn’t get along well in the game. I tried talking to you and you ignored me and then made a chat to try to get me out, and then you called me a dick & deleted me for voting you out… bish weht? But I don’t hold grudges soooo it’s whatever to me 

John: ILYSM. I was shook to see you in this game and even more shook to see you go first boot. Rhohn would have been a thing everyone would have had to worry about in this game so everyones lucky.

Autumn: Me before Athena All Stars: FATUM IS UGLY EMILY DESERVED BETTER IN CROSSROADS Me after Athena All Stars: Karma does layaway? All jokes aside I love you as a person and Mongolia is lucky to have you

Dane: HI I barely knew you but you were like sociable with Bryan so you’re cool I guess. Good luck in Fans vs Faves! 

Jake: I lived for the fact that you understood all my vine references during One World and thought you were cool but then saw you deleted me after you got voted out like tf did I do? ☹ But it’s okay, good luck in fans vs favorites!

John: You were so wonderful to talk with and I felt awful about voting for you after you worked so hard on that scavenger hunt. I truly think it sent Fatum into the downward spiral it did, just for karma on all of us for voting out such a kind soul.

Autumn: We also didn’t really get to meet, which is tragic and I hope we get another shot in a future game. Oh and for the record, your exit wrecked Fatum and anytime your name comes up they all square up again it’s great

Dane: Hey I low key wish we could have gotten to play together to get rid of the awkwardness in the air between us. I like your makeup.

Jake: Hey Nicole, our only convo was about blankets lolol we just didn’t talk bc we were never on the same tribe but I heard u were iconic so slay and maybe we’ll cross paths in a game again one day ;o 

John:  I love you so much and you know that. I was ecstatic to see you in this game when the cast was revealed and the way you left pained me. I hope I have done you proud.

Autumn: Omg Bran!! I legit only voted you because I was afraid for my life and I knew people wanted to see Imperium suffer #foreshadowing. I hope things are going great and please know that I enjoyed the little time we did have together

Dane: I have played a lot of games, I have done a lot of shit but, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Bran, you are honestly one of my best friends in this community and like I said that you were always there for me and I would always be there for you, no matter what is going on. I feel like there is always this conception in Tumblr games that people are so afraid to vote out their friends and honestly, I am really afraid right now that you wont like me anymore because of this. I just want to say that if you are mad at me i’m so sorry, I really really am. I do understand if you are mad at me. I just feel like for my game, this is best thing for me. I wish you the best of luck in everything going on for you and that everything works out great. ILY.

Jake: Hi legend!! Ugh you were robbed but I’m glad we got to know each other on Optio bc you seemed like one of the most genuine people in this cast and I loved that. Your sense of humor always made me laugh and I hope that we talk or play other games after this because you’re iconic.

John: I really really enjoyed talking to you and to this day have wondered what could have been if we just voted you that one round. I hope we can be friends outside of this.

Autumn: Umm thank you for always watching and supporting the game! I stan fellow messy bitches who live for drama. You are another example of me being petrified and trying to get me and Chris back to Imperium. You’re a really cool guy and made me enjoy the time I spent on Fatum

Dane: Part of me is happy that you left early because just from my one world experience with you, I deemed you to be socially capable of getting far.... and you’re a straight frat guy. HOWEVER, you seem really chill and I can’t wait to talk to you post-game.

Jake: My secret partner and crime but not really bc we never on the same tribe LMAO. I’m happy that you finally got me to play Tumblr Survivor after nagging me to play for like 8 months cus I’ve had a blast in this. I wish we ended up on the same tribe at some point though, but tbh it’s probably better that we didn’t bc ur messy af oops.

John: We met in this game and you quickly became somebody I bonded with and could just talk to with ease. Unfortunately everyone else saw that too and wanted to separate us :/ I guess there was only room for one John in the game. But I love you still.

Autumn: Out of everyone in the cast and out of all the decisions I’ve made, voting you out is the hardest vote I’ve ever done. I actually didn’t think I’d get this far so I can’t believe I can legit explain myself right here and now instead of the reunion. I genuinely trusted you and I could tell you trusted me, but at the time, I felt closer to Dane and Rebecka. I also knew you would be the first to figure out I had really solid relationships on that small tribe so I panicked. And low-key I thought you could come between my original alliance since you were super tight with Chris. Thank you for being such a champ and being cool about everything

Dane: Okay honestly I wrote like one mean confessional about you. Sorry. In the game your introduction and your voting confessionals were like “HEY THE BITCH IS BACK” and “Hahah bitch try voting me out again! Or don’t because you’re gone 💁🏻‍♂️” but I hope that was just game you, I can’t wait to get to know you personally.

Jake: my original ride or die!! I was so thankful for you helping me not get 18th LMAO. you were such a nice guy and my first ally in a Tumblr Survivor so that’s iconic. You were also such a wild player and I loved your fearless attitude. Wish you made merge so we could’ve been reunited again ;(  

John: We met years ago in my very first org, on the messy ass Osin tribe. I didn't know what to think when I saw you in the game as we hadn't played together since. We voted together, we voted for each other, but I still love you personally.

Autumn: Honestly I wrote a whole confessional for you and Ned individually so I’m gonna be short and sweet right here. Your exit broke my heart and whenever people bring you up, I’m thinking he’s in a better place he’s in a better place. Anyway, thank you for everything. You always had my back, prevented me from wiling too early and ruining my game, and taught me a lot about the game just by letting me get to know you. Also you’re hilarious and like the embodiment of Survivor as a person? Ok cool. Our friendship is iconic and I’ll never forget like after a day of knowing each other you were like “we should call!” and I thought wtf call who does that haha. Catch you on the flip side Shaggy

Dane: So.... you lied to me..... I was supposed to ride your coattail to the end of the game but you decided to apply with your girlfriend!!!! Jk I’m not that mad about it, I was just shook. Smoke a fat one for me xoxo

Jake: Stonerrrrr. Hopefully ur still not coughing uncontrollably!!! Sorry for blindsiding you LMFAO but I knew you had so many connections and would’ve ran merge and I didn’t want to be on the bottom of an alliance which is why I had to make a move on you!! Hope you understand it was nothing personal cus I enjoyed talking to you in the game and really thought that you were a good guy.

John: Stonnerrrrr. You were awesome to talk to and such a great dude. We bonded from the very beginning and I wish we could have kept it going but shit happens. Hope to talk after this.

Autumn: WHY DID YOU AND CHRIS LEAVE BACK TO BACK?? IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS WITHOUT CRYING AND RELIVING THE DARKEST PART OF THE GAME DAMMIT. Ok here we go (you have a confessional waiting for you at the end too but anyway). Thank you for everything- like you don’t even know. I was devastated and you could tell I was dead serious about quitting Crossroads, but you wouldn’t let me. And to think that now I have a 1/3 chance of winning and made history in the series picking F2 vs. F3 is wild. You didn’t play for nothing and your arc- as rough as it was- had a greater purpose. You’re so kind, funny, and just awesome to know (and you not being wild and cracked like me and Chris is a huge plus haha). I miss Mystery Inc so bad you have no idea but I’ll catch you on the flip side Fred

Dane: Yikes. Sorry about that blindside. You were a really huge social threat and had a lot of people wrapped around your finger. As a viewer of the game I would have loved to see you play, but as someone playing against you, it was a little bit necessary. Alex says hi.

Jake: Ned!! We only got to talk during one world and the first round of merge, but I instantly clicked with you because you were so down to earth and easy to talk to. You seem like a genuinely nice guy and it sucked to see you get blindsided and I wish we had more time in the game together.

John: You're a really cool guy but it sucked that we were never ever on the same tribe so we never really got to bond on a game level. 

Autumn: Omg I shouldn’t have done these in boot order the last two took all my energy and it’s like 4 AM rip. Ok you’re amazing Scrappy and I wish we’d become friends sooner. Bryumn is us both asking DID YOU FLIP and then us both saying WAIT YOU DIDN’T FLIP. You’re hysterical, always brought the drama, and everyone was secretly afraid of you cause you’re that bitch. I wish you’d gotten more time, but I think you actually would’ve killed someone so it’s probably for the best. I like to imagine that you’re watchdog of jury, living your best life just ready to pop off at any given time. PLEASE keep the conversation history on or at least screenshot everything hahaha

Dane: Look! I took your advice and got my head out of the gutter and I got a brain soekfkcmcmv. You were honestly so iconic I want you to be brought back another season so I can root for you in the VL. 

Jake: my petty king!!! Bryan, we bonded over Zelda and I instantly felt a connection and trust with you during One World that carried over into our tribe swap and merge. You were a great ally and a fearless player because you pushed to make moves. I was sad to see you go so soon at merge because I wanted us to go a lot further. I hope we keep in touch, you’re a great guy!

John: You and I had a rocky road since you were on my tribe once for the Emily vote. Once we swapped though and I got to know you I really loved talking to you and wish our circumstances could have been different. 

Autumn: Queen!!! I miss bonding with you over the people who we do like and the people we don’t like hahaha. You were so entertaining and a breath of fresh air. Honestly you did the absolute most and as iconic as you were, we still talk about all the hilarious moments you brought. The hexes? The Bryan fight?? The blow torch??? We aren’t worthy! I wish we had legit been on the same side because we would’ve fucked shit up. I felt I was next after Sam so that was the logic, but I still feel bad about how you went out so my apology gift will hopefully arrive shortly/ check the voting confessionals

Dane: Okay whew. On a completely serious note I am so happy that the both of us were able to look past our Vendettas with each other and not only play a game together, but enjoy our time together. We have a lot of bad blood and it was so stupid of us but I’m glad to say that we both grew as people enough to move past stupid internet drama. I’m ready to see my voodoo doll!

Jake: Hey wicked witch, pls don’t hex me!! Julia, I knew you’d be wild and hilarious from day one. You’ve always cracked me up and I really liked working with you until things fell apart for us at merge with the Ned vote. If I ever play another tumblr survivor I hope you’re in it just because you create so many iconic moments that still make me laugh. #IsThatABlowTorch? 

John: I was so upset I didn't get to talk to you until the merge because you were iconic. You pulling out your blowtorch at tribal was one of my favorite moments of the season and I am TRYING to get it into gif form

Autumn: This cast is too big jesus christ but you tend to speed read so let’s not waste time. Hi sis!!! I love you, I miss you, and I hope I’m doing you proud. I hate that you were collateral damage in the bloodbath that’s been merge. But I know you’ll do great things, both in life and in orgs. You are and always will be the baddest. Navarino Final 2?

Dane: Honestly I am so sorry that you got fucked up. Not only were you a good player, but you were hilarious and iconic and I honestly wish you could have lasted longer to keep the game entertaining. I feel like I ruined your game by aligning with you and I’m so sorry about that clfmmcmv 

Jake: Hey Rebecka! Obviously we didn’t have the best relationship in this game haha. But I think we both knew it was better to not BS the other which is why we didn’t talk much. You were always positive and pretty funny from when we talked in the main chats, oh and all the pictures of your dogs were the best!! If we ever play another game together I would be down to try working together because you always seemed genuine in the game. 

John: You were so lovely to chat with, I knew we would be cool because I knew you from Jennas DR LOL. I wish we could have been on a tribe together so it could have happened sooner. We voted for each other but hopefully there are no hard feelings. 

Autumn: Haley!!!! I don’t even know how to explain it but you just put a smile on my face. Is it a) your chill attitude, b) your adorability, c) you running Fatum from the backseat and letting the boys think they run things, or d) your association to Chris? It’s e) all of the above!!! Hopefully we get to talk more after the game now that all these men and conflicts of interest are out of the way haha

Dane: We barley spoke, which is so bad on my part. I love how you came to tribal councils stoned out of your god damn mind. I hope you’re enjoying your time with Chris though! 

Jake: Haleyyy, I love you now and I really wish that we talked more earlier on because when we actually did start talking I realized that we could have worked well together. But it just seemed like at that point it wasn’t smart for me to seriously flip on everyone again. It really sucked voting you out but I appreciate that you were understanding. You were so sweet to me in the game and I hope we stay in touch after this! 

John: You and I have had a rollercoaster of a ride together. From the messy premerge on original fatum, to you blindsiding johnny. We had so many good times too on calls whether we were talking game or about our lives. In the end I am so happy I have come out of this game with somebody I can call a new friend. 

Autumn:  I’m so exhausted girl and it’s 5 AM so if this is like 3 sentences don’t hate me haha. Let’s just start with this: YOU DID THAT!!! From the fight you gave every round to the fight you gave us on your way out, you never quit and always held your head up high. Velma you have such a remarkable spirit about you and I’m really glad we became friends. Thank you for being in the trenches with me and giving me something (and someone) to believe in this merge. I’m glad the end is near I miss talking to you and the rest of the squad so so so much but it’s fine I’m fine why wouldn’t I be fine

Dane: MOOOOOOOOOM! You were probably the biggest contender to win the game and I didn’t have it in my heart to vote you out, but thank god devil Ryan and John were here ! I hope you didn’t get a bad nannying job and I can’t wait to talk to you again once the season is over.

Jake: Sam <3 We’ve gotten along since the beginning and I’m glad that we got to work together closely throughout the merge. It was amazing that we managed to turn things around after Ned’s blindside and it sucked to see you go. You’ve always been so nice to me and a joy to talk to, thank you for being an awesome ally.

John: I was excited to see you cast for this game because you're such a sweet girl but the survivor swap gods were never on our side until we merged. I hated that we ended up on opposite sides and felt sick the times I wrote your name down. I hope we can be friends with each other when this is over.

Autumn: There’s a chance you could be really petty at the end and I wouldn’t blame you. I just want to say that I always wanted to earn your respect as a player rather than just as a person. I love our friendship, but I know you and many others perceive my game differently than it actually is. I will set the record straight in due time but I have a lot to prove, one of which is that I’ll do what no one else had the balls to do. You’re a fantastic player and I’m honored to have ever gone head to head with you, especially so late in the game. You 100% would’ve won and I’m sorry me making a big move came at your expense. It’ll probably cost me a vote, but if sending you out automatically changes the conversation around me as a player then that means you really are that incredible and that I’m just that legit. 

Dane: Weirdly enough you were in the same boat as Sam: you’re one of the bigger contenders but due to my personal relationship with you, I couldn’t vote you out. However, I could conspire against you WHEN YOU VOTED OUT REBECKA! You’re too thick, but not too thick to tick me in the finale! :) #DragonEscapeIsOurAlways

Jake: hey daddy! We got off on such bad footing since I voted for you at the beginning of merge fjfnfdj and it was obvious that we were on opposite sides for the most part but I’m thankful that you didn’t just cut me off after the vote bc I really liked the talks we had that weren’t strictly game related. Sorry for being a fake ass with you multiple times oWo!! But you played a fantastic game as an ex winner and I really could’ve seen you getting to the end again if I didn’t make that move last round. Still glad that we got to know each other in this game, and I hope that we can be friends afterwards.

John: I literally thought you were a 15 year old guy named Jared because of your intro video lmao. Playing with you has been so much fun and also a bit of a rollercoaster ride. We have pissed each other off on probably multiple occasions, but at the end of the day you always had my back and you were an amazing ally. Love you dad.

[survivorsweden]

Rites of Passage

Here’s some music for you to listen to as you read: https://youtu.be/o0bND3_QK1

Drew: im only like 80% that’s even a name

Linus: I never spoke to you, I never heard anything about you, who are you!?

Ned: I never got to meet you, but I hope things are going well!

Sarah: Being first boot must have sucked! Sorry we couldnt have met :(

Drew: robbedt

Linus: rip, I actually really liked Karen and it was cool to see there was actually someone else from Winnipeg who plays these games (throwback to day 1 when I got like 5 messages asking if I knew her irl).

Ned: Karen! It’s sad that we didn’t get to play together to make up for Wonderland, but it’s always good to see you around.

Sarah: KAREEEN! Second boot? Truly not deserved and I hope we get to play again soon ...ya know when you're not such an early boot ;)

Drew: I can’t believe you flew me to Massachusetts, got me drunk, like seriously drunk, in a basement while Are You The One was playing (¼)

Linus: Stevie's boot was pretty sad because I really did love everyone on starting stolkholme. At the time I was already super tight with Carlos though, so this was the only move that made sense, especially since Stevie flubbed the challenge :( .

Ned: This really sucked- we hated to do this, but you accidentally started the challenge without anyone being ready and it kind of threw everyone for a loop. Playing with you in Werewolf was fun, so I wish we could have been together longer!

Sarah: Hey Stevie! How is your drunk ass?! You made me hate 99 bottles and sorry you did that in the challenge otherwise you wouldnt have gone home djkfhsjdkfl

Drew: on ridiculous rum punches where you don’t understand how much you’re drinking until it’s too late, and chased with tequila straight from the bottle (hashtag tequila toddler), and (2/4) 

Linus: lol at idol was funny af. Still, since we had known each other in Myanmar it was disappointing.

Ned: I didn’t get to play with you, but you have a cool name.

Sarah: STEFFEN! KING. IDOLED OUT! I CANNOT BELIEVE. I wanted to play with you so bad! Lets hope we can someday <3

Drew: FRIEND!!! They did you so dirty, what the fuck, I could not believe it. I mean granted I tried to do you dirty the round before too but I failed so technically I’m better than these assholes.

Linus: Noooooo. Fucking Carlos probably deserved to be here more than anyone. He was a really cool guy and during his time in the game he was easily the person I talked to the most. He was also really hard working in comps trying for hours to get the best score possible. Robbed!

Ned: This was the first difficult thing I had to do in this game. I fought so hard to keep you in- you don’t even know- but in the end, it wasn’t possible without risking my own game. I’m sorry you had to go out this way. I know all you wanted to do is make jury. :(

Sarah: Hey Carlos! Your vote off was one of the hardest decisions I had to do in this game. Ned and I wanted to bring you so far along with us, but you were just someone who had to go to ensure that I stayed and made it far. Youre such a great and genuine guy, and I truly did miss that around the game.

Drew: convinced me to sign up for a season that I had no business being in, with a title I never wanted to defend, just so we could play a game together because it had been so long in most cases, (¾)

Linus: I sadly never really got to meet Nick, sorry :( 

Ned: Continuing our plan to emotionally destroy Sam as much as possible, you ended up being the next casualty. I’m sorry you had to go, but my own game was in jeopardy. We offered to work with you, but you ratted us out, and I guess all I have to say now is what goes around comes around.

Sarah: Hey Nick! I do feel responsible for your vote off, and I'm hella sorry about that. Your vote off was sorta like Carlos's in a way where you needed to go otherwise my butt or Neds would be in the same placement as yours. I hope you're doing good man!

Drew: and then subsequently left premerge and left me here to fend for myself with these freaks. What kind of fake friends, honestly. You are all the worst. I miss you guys, come back soon!!! (4/4)

Linus: Sam was always cool so I was super happy when Drew pulled her in to work together for the Jay vote. I'd only I didn't play the idol on myself :(

Ned: This succcccked. I waited all pre-merge just to be able to work with you, but of course a stupid twist prevented that from happening. I voted to save you in the normal vote and revote, but it turns out you can’t change your revote, so my campaigning was useless. At least we got to work together in Sentinel Islands :)

Sarah: SAAAAAM <3 Queen. If you were not drunk the whole day during tribal council and you asked me for my idol I totally would have given it to you! Your vote off was completely shocking to me and you know I love u :)

“I'd still be here if it wasn't for the "Vote for the other tribe" twist (:”

Drew: “OG Karls, you’re making a huge mistake voting me out. Big mistake” You rite

Linus: I didn't talk to Jay much in this game, but I've since met him and have nothing but respect for him. I was completely inactive in the game I met him in, but like, he was cool enough to be the one person I talked to in it :P

Ned: Not gonna lie, this was the best possible outcome for my game going forward. It sucks to go out like this, but I had a great time playing with you- even if it was terrifying for me at times! You’re really a great player and I’ve enjoyed every game I’ve been in with you.

Sarah: Your vote off was probably one of the saddest. I knew it was happening but I also knew you wanted to win so bad. I really do think you would have made it further if you actually made it to merge. I feel like people underestimated you and people saw jordan pines as the whole operation between the alliance but hey I always thought you were pretty amazing by letting him do all the work while you just sat back. 

“I sadly didn’t win this game, but I am happy to say that I made some new friends during this journey. Besides that crown, isn’t that why we’re all here anyways? Thanks Christine and Connor <3″

Drew:  My child, for a minute I thought you were gonna win with that cross-tribal idol move but it got snatched. First victim of the snow idol. Gorlleys for life

Linus: This was easily the hardest vote for me in the entire game. I was aligned with Duncan during the swap and easily the most villainous action I did was voting him out. Still, it was a position I was forced into since I didn't trust really any of his allies. Sorry Dunc :( 

Ned: I loved playing with you! You’re a great guy and I really enjoyed the conversations we had together. It sucks that everything had to end on such a weird note, but I did what I had to to save myself. I hope you’re doing well, and I’d love to keep talking to you after the game ends!

Sarah: Hey Duncan! The cuties did not deserve this at all! I don't know what happened to make you change your mind about me all of sudden but one minute I'm hearing you wanted to work with me, and the next you wanted me out. Yikes. You were one hell of a player and you were super fun to talk to during the game so maybe after this we can still keep talking :)

“It's surprising I'm putting effort into writing this considering half of yall didn't even put effort into playing the game. Y'all voted out the good people..... good job. Linusnake please go away”

Drew: Every time I start a new game and you’re there, I have this moment of panic worrying if I’m going to continue to be the villain in your history books when that was never the goal. I see once again, I did not disappoint.

Linus: Easily the least lucky person in this game. Nic impressed me since he was such a fighter who seemed to get the game stacked against him at every single step of the way, yet he always kept going.

Ned: This was a tragedy. You’re such a nice guy and you kept being friendly up to the last minute. Honestly, I only voted for you for two reasons: 1. Linus was my ally, and 2. You just won Wonderland! That means I personally know how strong of a player you are, and that was pretty dangerous for my game. Great job making it to this point with a recent win under your belt!

Sarah: Nic, your vote off was scary AS HECK. It basically came down to chance. You and I barely talked, which Im super sorry for. Communication is a two way street and I totally should have tried harder. I feel like the reason I didn't was because you and Jordan were tight and I didn't want anything going back to him and making him not trust me. I hope you understand but lets talk after the season because you seem like a stand up guy honestly. 

“Overall I found the lack of respect for the other players and the hosts alike no matter how inadvertant they were to be utterly irreprehensible in this game and I was kind of disgusted by it. I feel like I played really well and I genuinely couldnt have asked for a better alliance than karlskognicshley. I'm glad I got to work w them in this and I really don't give a fuck who wins byyyeee”

Drew: Jesus kid, I love Tyson Apostol too, but damn

Linus: Lol u suck

Ned: Let’s be real for a second- your last tribal was one of the most exciting things to ever happen in an ORG. I’m so sorry you went out with just one vote, but voting for anyone else just would have been too dangerous. It was great working with you while we were both working against each other- it’s such a cool relationship that you don’t get to have with many people. I’m honestly gonna miss talking to you in French!

Sarah: HEY ZAK. My sole vote was the reason you're sitting in jury, and yes...you could be bitter because linus is still here but I just find it utterly hilarious how YOU CANCELLED OUT HIS SELF VOTE. That tribal council made me laugh so much and its always going to remind me of you. Keep on snapping pics of your cat btw because I smile every time OH MAN <3

Drew: To quote legend, queen, my wife, and winner of Survivor Malibu, “I wish to one day punch Jordan Pines in the face.”

Linus: I absolutely loved playing with and having a friendly rivalry with Jordan. He was chaotic, always trying to make a move and just super fun to have on the tribe. Of course, that also made him the biggest threat in the game sadly.

Ned: You were basically the Aubry to my Debbie- you were gunning for me, and if I didn’t take you out first, it would be the end of my game. Maybe in an alternate universe we could be the dynamicest duo, but it just seems destined for us to be rivals. It’s been a pleasure playing with THE Jordan Pines.

Sarah: Pines, your vote off was the worst. I had to make a decision. I did say I was going to vote with you the round of your vote off. I really did mean it. No matter how much you don't believe me. But I ended up choosing loyalty over someone who is better known as a ...shall I say...villain? And I cute one at that. I had so much fun playing sweden and india with you and yes, you come across as someone who is villainous but I see your heart is in everything you do. I respect your game ....a lot. We truly did become friends because of this game and I'm forever grateful. 

Drew: King of snowballs!! I’m highkey as shook as you are that that was real

Linus: Josh posting the apps for this game on facebook is what got me to sign up, and ultimately I ended up forming the biggest counter alliance to him. Kind of ironic. He's a great guy and hopefully one day we wont be against each other in a game since we always seem to be on opposite sides.

Ned: I’m sorry for leaving you out of so many things early on, and that’s probably why you ended up working against the Stockholm 4 during the merge. You’re really funny, and I truly enjoy chatting with you! I just checked Skype and it’s telling me to resend my contact request, so I hope you didn’t block me. :o

Sarah: Cutest. Person. Of. This. Cast. Your vote off was expected. We didnt talk much but I can tell your a stand up guy :~) talk to you..either in jury or ftc! 

Drew: Honestly still a little upset you didn’t have an idol to pull out at the end like BITCHES, it would have made it more interesting and less depressing

Linus: Ash! Another person I was super happy was in this game. In Myanmar we worked both together and against each other at times. Last time I was kind of the shady one, so this time it was kind of cool to see that role reversed of me wanting to be super loyal to the Drew, Ned, Sarah and Ashley group and her being the one to try and change things up and make a move. It sadly just missed the mark with Jordans vote randomizing on Nic, but she was willing to play and I have to respect that. GG!

Ned: Nooooo Ashley! You’re such a good person and voting you out was heartbreaking. You honestly had a very compelling case, and in any other situation, I may have flipped. You’re so kind and the last conversation I had with you was one of my favorites ever just because of how genuine you are! If this were real Survivor, you would win Fan Favorite and people would threaten Jeff Probst because you got voted out. Hopefully we can still talk after this ends!

Sarah: ASHLEY! OK when you left it was truly sad because you self voted. Which broke my heart. Even when you flipped on the alliance we had, you still ended up making f5 which is exactly what we wanted. You're such an amazing person and Im glad we got to connect, here and in india <3