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ixcaliber · 3 years ago

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At Least A Single Sentence On Every Game I Played In June 2022

A star (*) next to a game’s title indicates this game is available in the Queer Games Bundle on itch.io

1. Don’t Toy With Me *

What if Toy Story but every character was one slight away from losing their minds. It’s a short visual novel and it has a pretty neat conception of a world of sentient toys and the potential consequences thereof. It’s neat in that your interactions with the world are fairly hands off (choosing to tap on a dollhouse or not, deciding you like one toy or another) but these minor interactions have a major impact on the psyches of the toys. This is a horror/thriller narrative though, no happy endings to be found here.

Rating: Neat concept, not my genre.

2. Someone Stole My LUNCH *

Very lighthearted comedic visual novel about your efforts to eat your own damn lunch.

Rating: An hour’s worth of silly fun.

3. Full Service Shop *

NSFW visual novel about sapphic & kinky transhumanism. Nice variety of characters with their own quirks and preferences. Comes with a text file of content warnings so you can avoid anything you don’t like and every encounter has a safeword option to hit if you become uncomfortable. It's trans inclusive, letting you set your pronouns independantly from any genitalia. And the writing is pretty damn good.

Rating: Great.

4. WitchWay

(not on the Queer Bundle, but was included in the Bundle For Racial Justice and Equality, if you have access to that)

A fun little puzzle platformer where you’re a witch girl and you have the ability to move and control certain objects in the world. It’s a very focused game, a tightly connected series of rooms at the bottom of a well, where you can explore andeventually find your way out. Exploring is more rewarding than you’d expect with an optional objective hidden in every room and seven or eight cute bunnies to rescue.

Rating: Pretty damn good.

5. Parsnip

(was available in the Bundle For Racial Justice and Equality)

A little point and click adventure that’s trying to nail the unsettling line between cute and creepy. It’s one of those where the protagonist is cutesy and well meaning and the rest of the world is normal with some dark undertones and the protagonist is incapable of seeing that anything is wrong. It is a little rough. I play a couple more games in this shared world from the Queer Bundle which is why I sought this one out, but if this sounds like it won’t be your kind of thing then it probably won’t be. It’s not integral to understanding any of the following games anyway.

Rating: Rough but charming.

6. The Testimony of Trixie Glimmer Smith *

Set in the same world as Parsnip, this game has a much more approachable tone and gameplay structure. It follows trans disaster Trixie Glimmer Smith as she, at the behest of her extremely highly strung friend, attempts to get ahold of The King In Yellow and then attempts to deal with the consequences of these actions. You also have the option of spending time with a couple of different characters and becoming embroiled in their eldritch subplots. A neat little game that continues and improves on its use of eldritch horror from Parsnip, but brings it more into the spotlight and makes it the focus of the game as it deserves to be.

Rating: Pretty damn good.

7. Co-Open *

A game in which you are a kid, going shopping at the local store on your own for the first time. Explore the store, talk to people, find secrets and feed the incredible physics defying kitties. There’s a surprising amount of things to do and people to talk to in this one and it’s very gay.

Rating: Great.

8. Yuki’s Palpitating, Passionate, Phenomenal, and quite frankly Proficient quest for a (hot) girlfriend!!!

Short and silly lesbian romance visual novel. Yuki, a shy new girl at school, finds herself propositioned by three girls and must date all of them to decide who she wants to go out with. The girls are good, the art is cute, the tone is extremely lighthearted. The conclusion of the short story is pretty much spoiled by the title of its sequel.

Rating: An hour’s worth of silly lesbian fun.

9. Spica, Chinatsu and Haruka’s Enchanting, Marvelous and quite frankly Elaborate quest to save their (cute) girlfriend!!! *

The followup to Y4P; Yuki’s been kidnapped and its up to her girlfriends to rescue her. But don’t worry, despite the kidnapping it’s still as lighthearted if not more so than previously. This game develops the interactions between the rest of the polycule and, through the framing device of Yuki talking about her relationships to her kidnapper, discusses in simple terms the nature of a polycule.

Rating: An hour’s worth of silly lesbian fun.

10. TetrEscape *

(Has a publicly accessible in browser version)

A simple little puzzle game; push the tetris blocks and try to make rows or columns in order to clear your path to the exit. There’s about fifteen levels or so, and though there is some escalation of difficulty it never gets too tough.

Rating: A neat little thing.

11. Three Lesbians In A Barrow *

Another game in the Parsnip/Trixie Glimmer Smith series. This one stars Tabitha Knight as she and her friends Nikita and Trixie visit a mysterious barrow for an archeological studies project. When they get trapped inside it seems as though something else may be trapped in there with them. This is much more shortform than ttotgs, quickly setting up its conflict and then giving you a variety of actions each of which pass time. After a certain point events will have escalated and will unfold based on your decisions. This one is more regular horror than eldritch horror, though as much time is given to these girls trying to understand one another better.

Rating: Pretty good.

12. Symbiosis *

(Has a publicly accessible in browser version)

An RPGMaker horror game, where you are a witch protecting your son after a break-in to your house. This game has a nice little art style and an intriguing atmosphere.

Rating: Neat concept, not my genre.

13. A Normal Lost Phone *

In this game you find a stranger’s phone, and slowly learn about their lives. There is something of a level of discomfort playing a game like this, intentionally violating the privacy of this fictional character. If you can put that to one side there is something very compelling about this kind of game; the intertwining of puzzle and narrative as you work to find the clues that lead you to find the next peice of information that serves as a password to access the next section of the phone. It’s diagetic puzzle solving in a very satisfying way. It is in fact the diagetic...ness of the game that really makes it uncomfortable to look through their text conversations and emails etc. Especially if you’re already familiar with the game and it’s reveal.

Rating: Pretty good but with unintentional and difficult to remove unpleasantness.

14. Some Sword / Some Play *

(Has a publicly accessible in browser version)

A short piece of NSFW interactive fiction. This one has more plot and less kink than I was anticipating. It still has some nice moments and is very trans inclusive; all characters pronouns can be set as desired and genitalia is once again seperated from pronouns. There’s a little kink but it’s wholesome kink, softer than I was anticipating. You’ll probably enjoy this if you want a swashbuckling steampunk adventure with some interesting worldbuilding and a dash of lewdness.

Rating: Pretty good.

15. Another Lost Phone: Laura’s Story

(was available in the bundle for Palestinian Aid)

My feelings on this one are pretty much identical to my feelings on A Normal Lost Phone. Though the premise runs a little thinner here at least in terms of puzzles. I did feel myself losing patience, especially when the diagetic nature of them means that they have minimal guidance. There was one I looked up tips for just because I wasn’t confident I was even looking for the right thing. In A Normal Lost Phone there was a point towards the beginning where I felt kind of bogged down with information, names of contacts and events that Sam had been to, learned long before I could provide context to any of it. There’s a little of that here but less front loaded. The game, in the end has a good positive message, but once again there’s that feeling of actively intruding on someone else’s personal information thats just sort of inescapable given the format.

Rating: Pretty good but with unintentional and difficult to remove unpleasantness.

16. Umurangi Generation

This is a pretty cool photography game with a neat artstyle and an unfolding narrative told through environmental detail as you explore and photograph the levels. Unfortunately I’m an incapabale of parsing a story unless it is explicitly told to me so if there’s anything deeper than ‘an alien war is happening’ it didn’t really manage to reach me. It is a pretty neat game to play though, it has sort of a Tony Hawk’s Pro War Photographer vibe to it, where you’re running around short little hub zones trying to check off tasks before the deadline (not actually enforced, you just can’t get the second unlockable object for a level if you don’t do everything in time). I had a good time with it.

Rating: Pretty damn good.

17. Disc Room

Explore a space station full of spinning blades. Survive as long as you can. Die quite a lot. Every room is like a little time trial to simply survive as long as you can, though with some interesting variables thrown in in the later stages of the game. It reminded me a lot of HyperDot but with HyperDot there was a very small number of different kind of projectiles that could come after you, allowing you to recognize them on sight and develop more of a familiarity with them. Almost every room in Disc Room has a new kind of disc that behaves in a new kind of way, more novelty less mastery. There are hidden rooms to find, secrets to uncover and a bestiary to fill in. It has more replayability than I was sort of expecting.

Rating: Pretty good.

18. Limbo Line *

This one comes upfront with a semi-diagetic warning about references to self-harm and suicide that i kind of feels undersells the severity of the scenes in question. The game is about being recruited to a sort of interdimensional crisis support line and taking calls from people. I don’t think that these scenes, which does not make up the main bulk of the game’s content, are tastelessly handled and i do feel that they have a point and purpose, but I’d have appreciated a stronger warning.

Most of the interactions you have in this game are fairly lighthearted and there are fun scenes with your extremely varied call centre colleagues. There’s probably a lot of content I didn’t see here based on who you decide to spend your breaktime with, but personally I don’t think I could replay the game and go through the more intense scenes in order to see this other stuff.

Rating: Fun in places, intense and emotional in other places. Be strongly warned if you have issues with suicidal thoughts or emotional manipulation.

19. Purrgatory *

(Has a publicly accessible in browser version)

This is a little point and click adventure with an extremely simple art style and a very silly sense of humour. You explore Purrgatory, make friends with its residents and maybe find a way out. The characters are great, it’s very fun to see them slowly open up to you and each other. Purrgatory, as in the afterlife in which you find yourself, despite its simple aesthetic, has such a unique chaotic vibe. From the name of the game I assumed that this was about a game where I was a cat going to the afterlife, in practice it feels more like a bunch of humans have been misfiled into an afterlife that was designed only for cats. It’s really neat.

In terms of gameplay it’s a point and click adventure but simplified. If you have an item you need for a puzzle you will use it when you interact with where its supposed to go, which cuts out the whole ‘use everything on everything’ mindset. It is semi-open world, sort of. You can progress individual storylines with each of Purrgatory’s residents in more or less whatever order you like. Sometimes they will move around after you have completed one part of their storyline. There is a guide with hints and solutions that I found invaluable for the spots where I got stuck. One of which was just realizing that a cupboard existed.

Rating: Great

20. What’s Your Gender *

This is a very short little experimental game that uses the shape of Antichamber to explore themes of gender. It didn’t super click with me, but I could see this being a good tool for introducing gender concepts to someone unfamiliar with them.

Rating: Neat little thing.

21. Stillwater *

Very short visual novel about a private investigator, his assistant and his dog looking into a seemingly supernatural mystery. It has a very nice presentation, a tense atmosphere and good chemistry between its characters.

Rating: Pretty good.

22. A Nightmare’s Trip *

In this game you play Adrien, a child’s nightmare made manifest as its own disconnected being, as they take a vacation to a bustling city and meet a wide cast of fun characters. This game is wildly inventive in ways I wasn’t expecting. A small detail alluded to but never really elaborated upon is how the world in which it is set seems to be some kind of merging of multiple realities. It allows it to do one of my favourite things which is to just have all kinds of weird entities from other worlds just coexisting and its not even a big deal. A flight attendant you speak to on the flight is just a venus fly trap lady and that’s perfectly normal. I love that kind of thing. This game has a great cast of characters and a tone that is sometimes chaotic, sometimes contemplatative.

Rating: Pretty damn good.

23. Freshly Frosted

A chill factory puzzle game. Place conveyers to move doughnuts through levels, add toppings and take them to the appropriate serving hatches. It’s a game that starts off simple and adds complexity over time, each batch of 12 levels adding some new element to contend with, though you are never given the ability to do more than place conveyers. It makes sense though in the way the game is designed, each new element added is more often more an obstacle to be worked around rather than a tool to be utilized.

It’s extremely chill. There’s something of a loose narrative. A narrator who tells you that they spend a lot of time imagining doughnut factories in the sky and each set of levels representing a season. Though maybe narrative isn’t exactly the right word. It’s more a slowly building feeling of companionship and familiarity, and in my experience it does succeed building this bond.

Rating: Nice chill time.

24. Null Event *

(Has a publicly accessible in browser version)

An NSFW smutgame where you are tasked with solving the mystery of disappearing drones in a cyberpunk world. Content is heavily focused around kinks of drones and identity loss. My experience of this game is a little tainted because I didn’t anticipate just how far the Supernaturalist storyline was going to go and it blew past my level of interest. But on subsequent playthroughs I stuck more closely to my areas of interest and had a much better time.

The only things I would really complain about is that, everyone has very cyberpunk names and with the blank character portraits that about 50% of the cast have it took me a couple of playthroughs to really parse each character as a seperate individual. Also, at the end of the first day you get invited to have a lewd time with your friend Em and get the opportunity to select from a small number of different scenes, and I sort of expected that this framework might be applied to other characters or other lewd situations, but it isn’t used again in the game, but from what I can tell the game is still being worked on and this may be implemented at some point.

Rating: Pretty good.

25. We Should Talk *

This is a game about being at a bar, talking with some of the people there and having a conversation with your girlfriend via text. It has a pretty neat conversational system where your response is split into three sections and you choose each of these from a selection independently, leading to some nuanced responses that you can say. I can’t say how robustly these different responses are recognized and responded to, as I only played through once.

But that said there was only one point in the game where it didn’t seem to parse correctly the statement that I was making. In response to Sam wondering whether something going wrong at her job was her fault, I tried to communicate that she seems to always blame herself and she responded as though I’d said a complete non-sequiteur.

There’s like nine different endings, but I was satisfied with my experience with a single ending. It certainly felt as though the ending I got was ‘you did a good job listening to and communicating with your girlfriend’ and it felt as though other endings would just be points on an axis of failure to success.

Rating: Neat little thing.

26. Making Friends *

A cute little visual novel where you guide a pair of witches, not through their actions but by picking their emotional responses. Its a cute little story of a friendship that can be neglected or could blossom into something more. I may have teared up a little on this one.

Rating: An hour’s worth of cute lesbian fun.

27. 2064: Read Only Memories *

(I talk some pretty big spoilers in this one, feel free to skip ahead if you don’t want to hear them)

I’ve been trying to play this game for years, but for one reason or another my attention span has never lasted long enough for me to get through it until now. It’s a cyberpunk point and click style adventure where your friend Hayden has been kidnapped and with the assistance of Turing, the world’s first truly sentient AI you must track him down. It’s got some really good characters that I love, and also Jess is in the game.

Jess is complicated. She’s a hybrid (undergone gene therapy that essentially means she’s part cat now) in a world that is bigoted against hybrids, and she doesn’t like you the player character. I can imagine all the discourse about the game is about this character and how awful she is for not liking you. I don’t dislike her for that, she’s valid and has valid reasons I just wish I could leave her alone like she wants. At one point you have to ask her for a favour and you get two conversation options. One is a cat pun (essentially a bigoted joke she’s going to hate) and the other is overfamiliarity (which she’s obviously going to hate). Either option will get her to angrily divulge her entire backstory at you, and I’d rather allow her the privacy. This game gives me social anxiety. It doesn’t help that if I pick the conversation options that feel most natural to me she insists I’m being a suck up and trying to be manipulative, and if I pick the more neutral conversational options that she’s fine with I feel like I’m actually being manipulative.

There’s also parts like where the obvious villain of the game shows up, looking obviously like a villain, being a fucking CEO, being extremely super coincidentally in the same hospital room as you but with a connection to your missing friend and while you do get to say that you don’t trust him, I felt like I was being chided by the game for noping out of that conversation as fast as possible. And another part where you’re preparing for the endgame you’re having a conversation with this guy and he invites himself along and there’s so many options you can click on like ‘i don’t trust this guy’ ‘this seems like a bad idea’ but Turing and the plot itself just keep saying ‘but you gotta’ ‘we need information this guy can provide’. And not to be nitpicky but he doesn’t actually provide any information we didn’t already have. All he does is fiddle with your zapper and then betray you. Granted that the villainous monologue he gets at the end is pretty interesting and a good moment but it’s so frustrating when it feels so contrived that he’s there. Like what if you turned him down but he followed you into the facility, ambushing you at the exact same point.

It’s a game that has some really good characters, humour (i especially like the game long running joke that is the spoiled milk), and some really great moments, but the bits that don’t click for me really rub me the wrong way.

Rating: High highs and major irritations. Pretty damn good with some big caveats.

28. Peyton’s Post-Op Visits *

A very short and cute visual novel that is very reminiscent of npckc’s A Year of Springs series. This game follows a pair of trans men as they rekindle their friendship. It talks about some trans masculine experiences in a very approachable way and is generally light in tone.

Rating: A nice little experience.

29. Touch Theory *

A short visual novel about a mad scientist and his new lab assistant, maybe, and the slow development of their relationship as they get to know one another and reassess their relationship.

Rating: An hour’s worth of fun.

30. One Just Night *

A short but sweet visual novel set in a world where everyone recieves a prophecy to guide them from a very young age. Our Lady of Possibility (Billie for short) resents her incredibly vague prophecy and is forced to spend time with the one person who might be able to provide her guidance; her arch rival Seeker of a Just Night. She has just one day to convince Just Night to help her and maybe build something new between them.

I love this one. Excellent worldbuilding, excellent character design. A short but engaging story that I got emotionally invested in.

Rating: Excellent, probably my favourite game of the month.

31. Please Touch The Artwork

Please, Touch The Artwork is a little puzzle game based on interacting with abstract artwork based on different art styles, or um maybe just different paintings by Piet Mondrian. Each of the styles has a different gameplay mechanic, and tells a different narrative with varying degrees of success.

Der Stijl (the style as depicted above) is the most effective in both narrative and mechanics. The narrative tells a seven days of creation story illustrated by adding new colours, new mechanics for you to play with. The puzzles are about trying to replicate the painting by adding colour and lines in the sequence they are given to you. As the elements increase it gets pretty challenging.

This is also the only style where, if you go to the gallery (i.e. the level select screen) you’ll be given information about the style. It’s kind of a shame the other galleries don’t have anything like that. It’s in trying to write the little synopsis about this game that I realized that I don’t know if the other galleries are based on art styles or individual paintings. I feel like there was a missed opportunity here to be a little bit more educational.

Boogie Woogie (based on the paintings Broadway Boogie Woogie and Victory Boogie Woogie (maybe more? idk)) are still engaging puzzles but the narrative of this one lost me. It’s about two beings which fit perfectly together, Boogie and Woogie, and you guide them to each other. As the stages go by this becomes more and more difficult to do. The problems I have with this narrative, well one of them that I had was why the blue square that bounces you backwards was called Broadway and why the diamond shape that Boogie has an affair with was called Victory. I guess I now have the answer to that now at least.

The other thing was that by the end it seems as though the narrative was metaphorical and about racism, and I really struggle to make sense of it. It’s likely a problem on my end but I feel like someone just pointed at a beachball and said ‘thats a metaphor for pollution’ and they may be right but i don’t feel like I’ve been given enough context to parse this metaphor correctly. This game is already interpreting very abstract paintings, to then try to build an extra layer of metaphor on top of itself is a difficulty.

The last style is New York (based on the painting New York City (and maybe more?) and it’s a series of very slow mazes with a narrative about leaving a loved one behind and being lost in a big city. It was pretty rough.

Rating: Neat little thing, some good puzzles, skip the New York City gallery.

32. Hourglass

This is one of those puzzle games where you can make a time clone of yourself. That’s essentially an entire genre. The puzzles in this one are pretty good though. They are mostly logisitical puzzles, rather than explicitly timing puzzles. It has a nice slow ramp up of difficulty, and by the end some of the puzzles have become quite complex, or require some serious consideration as to how to the sequence of events you need to pull off. The story is that you play Aywa, who has come to these undiscovered ruins looking for her father who went missing, and as you go through you find environmental detail that tells you of the history of this place.

33. Destiny Fails Us: A New Life *

I wanted to date this girl, but the only dateable options were boys with names like Greg or Brian or Dave or something.

A couple of downsides upfront: this game is abusive parent apologia, and exclusively heteroromantic.

But there are some aspects I liked. It’s pretty neat that the protagonist is canonically ace and that’s just a fact of the story. And I liked the simple artstyle, though it doesn’t always work, most notably when your dog is levitating at waist height next to someone. And I liked the relationship the protagonist has with her friends. It’s also pretty nice that, should you end up not going to the big valentine’s day dance with anyone (like i did) it’s not treated as a failure, instead you get a pretty nice scene where a bunch of your friends all spend time with you and it’s good.

Rating: Has some good aspects, but not for me.

34. Pebble Witch *

A nice little game where you play as a witch, explore a little coastline and lend a listening ear to the rocks and stones, and have a crush on your teacher. A nice little chill experience. I really like the writing for the rocks, it does a really good job of communicating this strange other perspective. It’s a very simple game but it is all it needs to be.

Rating: A nice chill experience.

35. Saving You From Yourself *

(publically accessible in browser)

A very short interactive narrative about gatekeeping trans medicine. It’s a short snapshot of the hopelessness of waiting to transition. It is simple in aesthetic and writing, but that just aids it to feel more emotionally vulnerable.

Rating: Beautiful in its vulnerability, but deeply bleak.

36. A Potion For Chamomile *

A nice little visual novel with a playful tone. Chamomile has a special potion recipe that will permanently turn her into a girl, and she needs the help of Lavender, a reclusive witch, in order to make it. Together they go on an adventure, and maybe make friends along the way. It’s a cute little story with themes of trans identity and disability.

Rating: Half an hour’s worth of cute silly fun.

37. Passpartout: The Starving Artist

This is a neat little game about painting, and trying to support yourself in art. It’s actually kind of an interesting experience playing it as I went from painting whatever silly thing sprung into my mind to trying to discern the desires of the different potential buyers, to the point where I did start feeling like a sellout. The second painting I drew was of this big red abstract angel and everyone hated it so much that drawing representations of this angel became my most pervasive thematic motif. That, eggs and kermits.

Rating: Really neat little experience.

38. When Aster Falls *

A burnt out succubus is surprised to find her latest assigned target is asexual. This is the lesbian ace romance I wanted from Destiny Fails Us. The characters are really cute and their chemistry is great. Just a really good time.

Rating: Fun and sweet.

39. HONEYPOT *

(publicly accessible in browser version available)

Short erotic game about being stranded on a very horny alien planet. Transformation and erotic mind control themes. It can be a little difficult to discern the exact consequences of any given decision, but at the end you are given the option to select and see any of the other endings you wish.

Rating: Half an hour’s worth of kinky fun.

40. Good Morning Hon *

An extremely short and ambiguous narrative about a lesbian couple, pleasant domesticity and a feeling of something being wrong. There are horror implications but everything is very open to interpretation.

Rating: Neat but not really my genre.

41. The Looker

A free to play parody of The Witness (2016). I was a little hesitant with this one, primarily because it describes itself as “full of puzzles that will frustrate and annoy you” and i immediately got the vibe that this going to be a particularly snide game. I liked The Witness a lot. It is beautiful, it has interesting puzzles that teach you the core set of rules which the puzzles operate without ever telling you those rules outright. And it does a thing that i love where once you have learned the language of the puzzles you start seeing them everywhere. The whole world suddenly is constructed of puzzles you couldn’t see until you know how to look for them. It’s really cool.

The Looker is I think an affectionate parody. It is certainly a very well informed parody. It does very specific nods, from the yellow box that projects a beam of light to the live action cinematic ending that show that it gets its source material. It pokes fun at the pretension of the game, opting to be a much sillier even in its puzzle design. It too has some rules to learn, one primary rule and one rule that is taught in one set of puzzles and is used to unlock the final puzzle of the game. It’s a game that’s absolutely happy to just throw away the rules if it thinks it would make a puzzle funnier though and that’s consistent with its tone overall.

Rating: A good natured and enjoyable parody, with some interesting puzzle concepts of its own. Worth playing if you enjoyed The Witness.

42. Baise Lesbienne! *

A short game where you must explore your room and find the strapon harness and dildo for your Madame. Unfortunately it’s only available in french and I’m going to pretend I understand enough French naturally and didn’t painstaking type every sentence in this game into google translate. It’s very cute, with nice flirting and teasing between the characters.

Rating: Cute. Probably even better if you speak the language the game is in.

#itchio queer bundle #long post

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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years ago

Text

Pure Blood 20 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

A/N: Omg,I can't believe we're already in chapter 20, the good is coming

Words: 1,760

Masterlist

Chapter 19 / Chapter 21

Sirius

Yesterday

"You owe me some chocolate frogs, Padfoot," says James, lying down on his bed.

"I don't think so, Prongs. That bet wasn't fair, how could I know that bird was going to attack me?”

"Maybe because you threw rocks at him," adds Peter, and I wince.

Remus enters the room then, the boy walks in with a huge smile all the way to his bed, takes off his sweater and sits on the mattress in front of mine. The three of us are silent as we watch him, waiting for some other reaction. I told them what had happened with Persephone, omitting the fact that he was crying and… the hug.

James sits on the edge of his bed and looks at Remus.

"And well?” That makes him react, but his smile doesn't fade.

"Hello guys. How’d it go? ” I frown.

"Good," says Peter. "But I think it was better for you," he says, trying to joke, but James throws him a shirt to quiet him down.

“Yes, you're right, Pete. It was better than I thought,” Remus replies, slightly red.

"How was your date with... Trixie?" I say, trying to control myself. His face flushes even more.

“I know you don't like her, Padfoot, but I did well, she's a very- wait, how did you know that?” The spell seems to have broken.

"Someone told me,” I lean against the wooden pillar of his bed and cross my arms.

“Oh. Well… yes, it was great, we have many things in common and–”

"Remus, I love you and you know it,” James interrupts him before he gives the details. "I think you're the smartest of the four, but right now you're being an idiot." Remus looks at him confused.

“Are you on his side too? C’mon James, they don't even know her…”

“Listen," I reply. “I may not be the best person to say this, because of my stupid decisions, but…” I approach him. “Why did you leave Persephone?”

"What are you talking ab-" His eyes widen "Holy shit!” He hits his forehead.

"There it is, he finally realized," applauds James.

“Shit, I was supposed to go with her.”

"Didn't you really remember?" I ask.

"No shit, I'm the worst person in the world," He says as he gets up. "I have to talk to her…” He opens the door, but before he could get out, I grab his shirt and he turns.

"It's late, Moony, talk to her tomorrow.”

He sighs and nods, before closing the door a meow stops me. A small cat’s sitting in front of our room.

"How strange…” I don't pay attention and close the door.

"Surely she hates me," he complains.

"No, she's just upset," I say without thinking and he watches me.

"You talked to her?" He asks surprised and I feel shivers run through my body.

"Eh, yes, something like that, she seemed annoyed.”

"I'm an idiot.”

"We agree on that," adds James.

"Okay, now tell us, how did it go with Trixie?" Peter asks and I complain covering my ears.

"I don't want to know what you do with the devil!”

Night came as we argued and joked.

———————————————————————————

Today.

"Does that mean I now have an excuse to hit Snivellus?" I ask, patting her red hair.

"I thought you didn't need one to do it," Lily replies, blowing her nose.

"I need it, now I can say that it was for your honor.” My words make her laugh.

"I still can't believe our friendship is over," she says as she sits down on the floor resting her head on my shoulder.

"Welcome to the Club,” I say sighing.

"I don't think we're in the same club, Persephone," I frown.

"What are you talking about?”

"I know you’ll deny everything, but your relationship with Sirius has changed, you don’t argue like before.”

"That's because of the truce, you know about the plan–“

"If you say so…”

"Anyway, do you want to go to the lake to eat? I'm hungry,” We get up at the same time.

"Surely everyone knows now what happened," she says, wiping her tears away.

“Let them think what they want, Lily. You can't force them to never talk about you, the only thing we can do is ignore them, but if someone dares to hurt you, rest assured that you have a whole group of bodyguards-”

She laughs. "Who would say that after so many fights, we would become friends?"

I Sigh. "Yes, everything is out of balance…”

I feel a chill when I remember the hug with Sirius, but I don't say anything.

We both walk to the large dining room and just as I head over to the Slytherin table, she stops me and offers me a place at her table.

"You want the balance to fall apart, right?" Lily rolls her eyes.

"Don't exaggerate, come on," she says. We sit down with her friends, they all ask if she’s okay and Lily only answers that they will talk later, I’d also be uncomfortable with something like that.

We ate and talked about everything, the relationship with them was friendly, we are not best friends, but I’m comfortable, everything’s better when Jenna joins. After a few minutes, I was already preparing to leave, but a new person stopped me. Trixie sits across from me with a huge smile.

"May I speak to you, Persephone?" I clench my teeth.

"No thanks, I want to live," she giggles, causing a chill.

"Always so funny! But I think it's important that we talk, it's about Remus.”

I raise an eyebrow.

"Did you kill him already or what?" I feel a pinch on my left arm and I complain looking at Lily. Then I sigh. "What do you want?"

"Oh no, I meant talking in a more private place,” She looks at the girls. "I don't want to offend them, it's just that this is a bit embarrassing topic…”

"Don't worry, Persephone will go with you" Jenna says giving me orders. I grimace and get up.

We both leave the large dining room and walk a few hallways.

“Here. I don't intend to be in a secret place where you can hide my body without witnesses.”

She sighs but keeps smiling.

“Listen, I'm not stupid, I know that since the last time we saw each other many years ago, things were not right. But you have to understand that we are no longer girls and I don't think I deserve your bad attitude.”

Well shit. I was not expecting this.

"Still, I don't expect us to be as close friends as before, I know you have your group and I have mine, but our paths are perhaps coming together again," She adds, blushing a little. "Remus is a very cute boy and I don't think I've ever had such a strong connection with anyone, he listens to me and-"

"Stop there I- I don't want to know,” I stir uneasily. "I was supposed to go with him to Hogsmeade yesterday, but he left me standing because of you.”

"I know.”

"And it's not fair- wait- you knew?"

"Yes. He’s quite sorry. When I saw him at the entrance of the school, he was very happy and we started talking, he never mentioned that he was waiting for you, I found out later I- I'm sorry.”

"What?" This I was really not expecting it.

“I’m very sorry for what happened, if I had known… sorry, Persephone. What I least want is to give you reasons to hate me.”

On the one hand, I am very surprised, and on the other I don’t know whether to believe her. Before I could reply, Remus reaches our side.

"Percy, can we talk?"

They both look at each other and smile for a few seconds, but then they came back to me.

"What you did to me, Lupin, you’ll have to compensate. Trixie,” She waits anxiously. “May it never happen again.”

"I promise," She says, smiling, "I'll leave you alone, see you, Remi." She kisses his cheek and leaves.

"I'm really sorry. I completely forgot- it wasn't on purpose- I know what you think, but I'm not like Sirius,” He speaks so fast that I barely understand, so I cover his mouth with my hand.

"Okay, I accept your apology, but I warn you that if it happens again, I will not hesitate to turn you into a worm, understand?" He nods and pulls my hand away.

"So you're not upset anymore?" I shake my head.

“Remus," I say nervously "Do you really like Trixie?"

The boy blushes and runs a hand over his hair.

“Yes, I think so…”

I sigh.

“Just… be careful.”

—————————————————————

"What will you wear for the big party of important people?" Jenna asks surprising me.

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," I shrug. "My mother will surely send me something. She wants to control everything.”

"At least she has good taste," I nod. "I understand why you like going out to the gardens so much, it's relaxing," She says, lying down on the grass.

Suddenly a small orange bird perches on the book that I put aside. I laugh and look at the animal. Its colors are very bright, I have never seen a bird like that.

"Hey, how do you feel about the whole Trix and Lupin thing?" Adds my friend.

"I don't know, it's weird.”

"Wait, odd that it's with Trix, or that Remus has a girlfriend?"

“Girlfriend? No. Ha! No.”

Jenna laughs out loud.

"What is so funny?"

“You're jealous!”

"What!? Of course not!”

“Yes you are!”

"No, don't say stupid things. I'm only worried about him, Trixie is a bad person -or at least she was- agh! I don't know, but I'm not jealous, I don't see Remus as more than a friend.”

"Hey, it's not bad that you like Lupin, actually, of the four I like him the most.”

“Stop."

"I'm just saying, don't be mad," She says defending herself.

"I can't see Remus that way,” I bend my legs and rest my chin on my knees.

"You would make a nice couple," She adds, making me growl. “Although, I've seen progress with Black…”

"Do you want to stop pairing me with all of them?"

"Hey, it's not my fault! You have a history and somehow, we always end up talking about one of them.”

"I wish I could meet someone else…”

"That would break Lupin and Black's hearts."

"Jenna!"

My scream causes the bird to fly away.

Taglist:

@treestarrrrrrrr @siriuslysirius1107 @thagreenmoon @madmaiden2890 @ren-ela @avipshamitra @auroraawrites @findzelda @lizlil @siriusmuch @chloe-geoghegan1 @reverse-hxlland @may-rapp @the-specific-oceans

@bloodorangemoonlight

@littledeadgirlwalking

#Harry Potter #Sirius Black #Sirius Black x reader #Remus Lupin #James Potter #Lily Evans #Pure Blood #Harry Potter fanfic #twoidiots writing

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heleneplays · 4 years ago

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glad you liked the crane wives! <3 here are some songs for the week! a song i've had on repeat: rose festival by rogue valley. a song that sounds like the ocean: tested & tried by all the luck in the world. a song to make you go 🥺: sunflower by the weepies.

SONG ANON MY BELOVED,,, I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE!!!!

ngl they're here & still have them playing in my mind rent free while i'm reading Malice by Heather Walter ♡ (which. i just started but currently @ ch.3! it's so good so far i'm just out here vibing for Alyce ✊🏻😤 lets get u some self love mam and we'll get back @ Rose & Marigold & everyone else in here later!!!)

but uwu once again business as usual lemme just grab my headphones for a better experience 😌💖

BUT APPARENTLY THEY'RE RELATIVELY UNKNOWN THEY DON'T HAVE LYRIC VIDS????? song anon beloved how and where do u find THEM bc holy fuck

---

Song 1: Rose Festival - Rogue Valley

youtube

Thoughts: the music reminds me of country style and I think it's an acquired taste but IG I can't speak when the only country music I do listen to is from Trixie Mattel and Dolly Parton-- LFJFKFX anyways! my thoughts on the lyrics get drowned by the music of the instruments itself as of the moment but uGH i can't and won't think. music pretty tho 8/10 <3

---

Song 2: Tested & Tried - All the Luck in the World

youtube

My thoughts: MMMMMMMMMMMM it def sounds like a body of water but personally I'm thinking more of a still but deep lake! The vibes of the bkg music transport me to my childhood days of diving right into the middle and spending hours below the water, tbh... But OOF the LYRICS! IT'S-- AMAZING???? UGH HELLO these???

The river spirits masquerade in the cascade // I can't escape // But you're dancing with them // Learning to murmurate // Until you're just another figure // So I surrender to the spate // My faith in you has been tested and tried // One too many times // Darling around you it hurts // But when i'm alone its worse how do I put myself first // How do we put ourselves first

how do u find music that's so good but hurts from the relatableness + idea making vibes!!!!!! im in awe really 👉🏻👈🏻 but OOF my heart goes :(

hurt & comfort my beloved,,,

sidenote: currently listening disrespectfully @ their other songs (Pages + Never + Contrails in particular) and I think they'd be a good addition to a breakup playlist. the vibes..... they're out there somewhat sad mostly? but yeah. themmm 😔💔

---

Song 3: Sunflower by Weepies

youtube

My thoughts: My Android 8 Samsung phone can't read the emoji (hiss!!!!) rn so WHAT IS THE MOOD I DON'T KNOW YET BUT I WILL SOON--

OH!!!!! >:000

personally victimized. I cannot believe this. my helene spillane's entire personality & love for maría dragged. my wig is snatched. I cannot believe u found a perfect song to just. UGH. my heart,,,,, i'm crying. omg.

I'M CRYING??? HElLo

A little smile but your mouth is tight // Gentle petals crowd around your eyes // I wanna be the company you keep // I wanna be the one you come to when you fall asleep // If there's a place to grow // In your heart let me know // I'll be your sunflower // I shine for you // You know I'd do // Anything for you

hhhHHHhHHHhHhHh new drawing idea and im not even finished with my heart-attack inducing sin >:0 i cant beliEVE--

anyways UGH this song makes me soft!!! please take a flower, i think u deserve it

---

once again THANK & ilysm for the recs, they're refreshing! esp this week, coz' guess who's taking her midterms with 80% prep, 69% prayers, 41% no fucks and 420% energies? honk honk it me ♡

no the numbers are just random ahaha moving on

anyways oop once again I will be out here. saying ur recs are vibe-able but let me just *bonk* you with a pillow. bc once again i am hit with feels 😔💖💖💖

anyways i hope u have a super good day bc i'm definitely ending mine with a great note!

#ngl i was gonna draw a meme for today but hands sleepy uwu sowwee #BUT OWO once again happy to see u <3 #song recs #song rec anon #song rec anon my beloved #answered asks #anon asks #mod lee answers #one day i'm fully anticipating u just sliding in and leaving a heavy metal song or something bc i find u quite unpredictable yet--#ANYWAYS ugh they really just do fit my vibe #♡♡♡

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

To New Hytes, 10/10 (Group fic) - Mac

AN: I’m truly at a loss for words. I can’t thank Meggie enough for all the work she has put into this. Betaing for me is not an easy task and she makes it look simple.

I started this fic exactly a year ago to this day and I never imagined I would finish it, let alone fall in love with it. I know that was so cheesy but it had to be said.

I hope you enjoy this last chapter!

Summary: Yvie finds out what Scarlet has been hiding, Vanessa gets a new opportunity, and Trixie finishes Katya’s book.

Yvie held her breath as the minutes ticked by.

Scarlet had asked her breathlessly over the phone to come to the studio as quickly as she could. Yvie had done so, telling her Uber driver she would tip him extra if he got there in half the time.

The parking lot was practically empty when they pulled up, save for Scarlet’s pristine white Lexus parked right next to the door.

Yvie’s heart hammered in her chest and she felt like she might throw up from nerves. Scarlet had sounded worried. Scared even.

As she approached the doors, she found them unlocked, and the pit of dread in her stomach threatened to suffocate her if she breathed too deeply.

She and Scarlet hadn’t talked, not about anything meaningful anyway. Yvie hadn’t mentioned the conversation she had overheard, or the fears she had, or the crippling feeling that she was about to be left.

Yvie, confrontation-loving Yvie, hadn’t said a thing because she was scared it would only accelerate the path to loneliness.

She had bitten her lip.

She bit her lip now too to keep from crying, the familiar studio setting doing nothing to keep her mind steady. The lights were all down, save for a flickering candle at the end of the narrow hallway. It was still light outside so the image wasn’t as creepy as it could have been.

She followed the path down the hall, noticing more and more candles lining the pathway as well as a sudden appearance of rose petals on the ground.

The unease in Yvie’s stomach waned a bit as confusion took over.

When she rounded the next corner, it suddenly hit her. Standing in the doorways of the numerous practice rooms were her friends and coworkers; her family at this point.

Nina and Monet smiled brightly, as they offered her a red rose each, Nina reaching out to squeeze Yvie’s hand in reassurance. Yvie couldn’t stop the tears from springing to her eyes as she continued down the hall. Trixie, Jinkx, and Violet were up next, handing her more roses and winking knowingly. Then Vanessa, A’keria, and Dela, who giggled as she passed. Blair and Kameron gave her full body hugs and the last two flowers.

Then there was Brooke. The face of the company that had brought her and Scarlet together. The person that had made their dreams a reality.

Brooke pulled Yvie close and held on tightly. “You deserve all the happiness in the world,” she whispered.

And if Yvie wasn’t crying already, that would have done it.

She held onto Brooke for dear life, her mind spinning on her neck from the overwhelming feelings building up inside her. She smiled into the older woman’s shoulder and tried to channel the years and years of gratitude, adoration, and love into a simple embrace.

“Thank you.”

It was two simple words.

But Brooke knew.

She always knew.

She pulled back to give Yvie a once over, smiling softly as she moved a piece of hair out of Yvie’s face.

“Now go get your girl.” Brooke nodded in the direction of the rehearsal room.

Yvie giggled through the tears in her eyes and squeezed Brooke’s shoulders once more before turning to enter the last door.

Scarlet stood in the middle of the wide room, surrounded on all sides by rose petals and candles, smiling so brightly Yvie swore she had to squint.

Their eyes met, and Yvie felt so incredibly stupid for ever doubting her. For doubting them.

Yvie didn’t hesitate, she walked right up to her girlfriend and pulled her in by the waist for a kiss. Scarlet chuckled, taken off guard at first, before relaxing into Yvie’s arms, sighing happily against her lips.

“Yes,” Yvie whispered against Scarlet’s smile.

Scarlet pulled back just enough so she could roll her eyes pointedly. “Let me do my speech first, stupid.”

Yvie chuckled and nodded her head a second later.

“Yvangeline.” Scarlet smiled, “The day I met you I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Fear.” She swallowed, and Yvie noticed her hands trembling the slightest bit as she took them in her own. “I was scared because you made me want to open up in a way I hadn’t done in a long while. And you just showed up with your loud laugh and your weird style and I couldn’t help but fall for you.”

“Naturally,” Yvie cracked, making Scarlet roll her eyes fondly.

“You saw the good in me when no one else would.” Scarlet flipped her hair over her shoulder dramatically. “And I’m pretty great so I dunno how they didn’t see it.”

Yvie laughed to keep from crying. “You are.” She smiled.

Scarlet beamed. “So, my partner in crime, my one true love, my Yvie,” she said, taking a knee. “Will you marry me?”

Yvie didn’t even have to think before tackling Scarlet to the ground.

She was distantly aware of shrieks of joy coming from behind them, but she tuned them out, content to breathe Scarlet in and out for the rest of her life.

…

Brooke didn’t know what she was doing here.

She had taken time off, said she needed space and a place to regroup. But Scarlet had called her in a frenzy, pleading for her help and advice. Brooke wasn’t about to turn her away.

So now here she was, sandwiched between Nina and Kameron who were doing their best to collectively bite their tongues at her sudden appearance.

Scarlet, like any good stage manager, had walked them through the process, telling each person the precise place they needed to stand and the exact second they needed to poke their heads out. Brooke chuckled to herself that even during one of the supposed ‘happiest moments of her life,’ Scarlet still had to micromanage.

Pot meet kettle, her mind shot back.

Yvie of course said yes, and the rest of the girls surrounded the couple, drowning them in hugs and congratulations.

The group migrated toward the adjacent practice room that had been set up for the afterparty. Food and drinks and music began to flow freely as lively conversation ensued.

Brooke stuck to Nina’s side like duct tape, avoiding making eye contact with anyone who might ask her questions, specifically one young gorgeous brunette that seemed to be absorbed in whatever hilarious thing A’keria had said.

Brooke had said she needed time to put things in perspective. She had meant that she hoped time would make her feel less crazy, less out of control. A place where things weren’t so intensely overwhelming.

All she had found in her three days of leave was that her bed felt slightly bigger.

Nothing monumental.

No grand epiphany under intense stress.

No flashing lights or dangerous circumstances.

No near-death experience.

Brooke’s bed just felt too big.

The hole in her chest felt even bigger.

That’s how she knew it was love. Because it came in the form of something so painfully ordinary that it made Brooke want to scream.

Brooke was sulking in the far corner when Monet came by to steal Nina away for some “picture editing business.” And by “picture editing business” Brooke knew that Monet actually meant that they were going to go make out in Brooke’s office.

She rolled her eyes at the two lovebirds, but bit back a smile as they disappeared down the hallway, giggling like highschoolers. It was then that she caught Vanessa’s eye over the crowd of people.

Vanessa spoke to the group beside her, eyes never leaving Brooke’s, as she excused herself. She approached slowly, giving Brooke ample time to run away.

But she didn’t. Not this time.

“Hey,” Vanessa spoke cautiously, nervous energy rolling off her stiff shoulders.

“Hey.”

They both stared at the floor.

“Wasn’t sure when you was comin’ back.”

“Yeah, me either.”

The silence stretched out between them

Vanessa sighed. “Well,” she coughed, “I just wanted to thank you for everythin’.”

Brooke’s head shot up at her oddly professional tone. “What do you mean?”

“Nina didn’t tell you?” Vanessa looked surprised.

Brooke shook her head.

“I got an offer from another studio.”

Brooke’s heart plummeted to her stomach.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Vanessa breathed shakily, her hands fidgeting by her sides the longer she stood in place.

She let the information linger in the air between them for a bit, dousing the conversation with an even more tense air, before finally meeting Brooke’s eyes.

“I’m not gonna be in your way no more.” Vanessa smiled sadly. “You’re free.”

Brooke shook her head. No. No. This wasn’t right.

“Vanessa—”

The younger woman cut her off. “I appreciate the experience, Ms. Hytes.”

Brooke had only seconds to act, her brain taking over in a split second to stop Vanessa’s retreat. Her arm darted out of its own volition and she grabbed Vanessa’s hands in her own. It was an act of desperation, Brooke not willing to lose Vanessa. Not again.

“Stay,” she blurted out.

Vanessa raised her eyes slowly, her guard up. “What?”

There was that ever-present wariness lingering in the back of Brooke’s mind, but she shook it off and cleared her throat, desperately trying to get a hold of herself. “I’m asking you to stay.”

Vanessa’s eyes hardened and she went to shake her head. “Brooke—”

“Not as your boss,” Brooke clarified, accentuating her point by squeezing Vanessa’s hands, holding them securely, close to her heart. “‘Nessa,” she said softly, “I want you to stay.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Vanessa nodded. It was measured, unyielding. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Brooke shook her head, smiling to herself. Of course, Vanessa had to push.

The memory of their first meeting flashed in front of her eyes. All the unfounded anger and snarkiness and passive-aggressive words echoed in her ears. But so did the sound of Vanessa’s even breaths as she slept, her full belly laughs at Brooke’s endless list of dad jokes, her quiet humming in the shower.

Brooke found that in this instance, after everything it had taken to get them here, she didn’t seem to mind the pushing all that much.

“Because I love you.”

There was a beat of silence, just enough time for Brooke’s rational thinking brain to kick on and begin to spiral that she had misread everything and overstepped.

“You drive a hard bargain, Hytes.” Vanessa let the corner of her mouth twitch up. “But I guess I could stick around a bit longer.”

…

Katya had been standing outside the bar for nearly ten minutes now.

Trixie watched her through the sweaty window panes, sipping what had been rum half an hour ago but was now just melted ice cubes. She was stalling, swirling the water droplets in the bottom of her glass around in circles, attempting to get lost in this feeling of limbo that wouldn’t last much longer.

Katya hadn’t noticed her yet but had been checking her phone every few minutes for a text that wasn’t coming.

Trixie didn’t know how to do this right. Still wasn’t entirely convinced she wanted to do this in the first place. But Katya was looking more worried by the second, and Trixie couldn’t put this off forever.

She downed the rest of her ice cubes and didn’t shiver at the cold that traveled the length of her throat.

Katya looked up at her appearance, joy and hesitation etched into the clean lines on her face.

“Wanna take a walk?” Trixie offered.

Katya just nodded, the same nervousness persisting just beneath the surface of her skin. But she took Trixie’s hand in her own, much colder one; the younger woman fought the urge to shake it off.

“I read your book.”

Read was more of an understatement.

Trixie had devoured Katya’s autobiography in one sitting. She had poured over the pages upon pages of intricate details, funny asides, and heartbreaking losses. And at the core of it, she had found something so incredibly human that it burned in the back of her throat when she finished. Face wet, eyes sore, mouth dry, her stomach burning with the kind of ache that she had only ever heard songs about.

It was a mess. Chaotic and unhinged and tragically beautiful.

Tragic, because at the end of it all, Trixie knew for sure that she would never be able to compete with Katya’s home.

No amount of love she had for the princess would be enough to keep her.

“You miss it?” Trixie asked. “Russia?”

Katya quirked an eyebrow up at the change of subject. “Why do you ask?”

Trixie sighed and let herself come to a stop on the sidewalk. “I think you should go back.”

“What?” Katya exclaimed, eyes were wide in surprise.

“I think you should go home.”

“That’s not my home anymore. It never was,” she insisted.

Trixie shook her head, sad smile set in place on her lips. “That’s not true. The way you talk about it, the things you wrote… You talk about it like a lost love.”

“No.”

“Yes,” Trixie countered. “You love it and you miss it. There’s no shame in that.”

“I value my freedom too much to go back.”

“Katya, you have the opportunity to make a change over there. Your people are waiting for you!”

“They aren’t my people!” Katya exclaimed. “They are just people. And I don’t even know them. They don’t even know me. How the hell am I supposed to lead people I don’t know?”

“The way you do everything else. With unbridled passion.”

Katya looked back at her, shoulders set, eyes wild, lips turned up at the sides. She looked… impressed.

“You know you have to go back.”

“I know.” Katya laughed, loud and brazen and full of so much sadness that Trixie’s heart nearly gave out at the sound. “I just wanted a chance to live a little first.”

“And how was it?” Trixie smiled sadly, pulling Katya closer, their fingers intertwining loosely.

“Oh, it was wonderful,” Katya said wistfully, her eyes never once leaving Trixie’s. “I only wish we had more time.”

Trixie nodded, eyes watering of their own volition. Katya shook her head slightly as she wiped away the tears at the corners of Trixie’s eyes.

They stood like that in the middle of the sidewalk, holding each other, for an immeasurable amount of time. Breathing in and out for as long as they could stand it.

Eventually, Trixie’s legs tired and her arms ached and she felt the alcohol in her system fade to nothingness.

She was the first to pull away.

Words failed her at that moment as she stared into the eyes of this woman, the princess of Russia, this crazy fucking woman that had turned her world upside down.

Luckily she didn’t have to think of what to say.

“I won’t forget you, myshka.” Katya whispered in the small space

Trixie shook her head. “Me either.”

…

On the Uber ride back to the studio, Trixie unlocked her phone to find three missed calls and twenty-some texts, half being pictures of Brooke and Vanjie sucking face at Yvie and Scarlet’s engagement party. Trixie chuckled to herself.

About time, she thought.

Trixie thanked her driver with a generous tip and watched until his car disappeared into the bustling city traffic of the night.

She turned back toward the familiar building, her suddenly heavy feet making the trek to the propped door that much slower. She let her mind slow to nothingness as she entered the studio, noting the music still playing clearly over the speakers.

She made her way down the hallway, tracing her fingertips along the framed photos on the wall. Their first night of shows as a company, their first-ever programs, their world tour announcement.

Trixie smiled instinctively at the memories, clear as the pictures themselves.

As she rounded the corner to the rehearsal room, she smiled that much wider.

There, spread out in a circle on the very expensive, very meticulously cleaned dance floor, was the entire cast of To New Hytes Dance Company.

They greeted Trixie with a collective squeal and before she could blink, she was pulled down into the circle and handed a cup of room temperature wine.

As Trixie surveyed the scene, she felt a familiar warmth pool in the base of her gut, one that lit her up from the inside out. The smiling faces of her friends filling her vision and making the hole in her chest feel just a bit fuller.

When everyone had a cup, Yvie attempted to clear her throat loudly. It only resulted in setting herself off into a coughing fit and causing the rest of the girls to fall into raucous laughter.

After the noise died down, Yvie tried again.

“To old friends!” She hollered.

“To fresh starts!” Scarlet called.

“To New Hytes!” Trixie cheered.

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callie-caje · 4 years ago

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Hello my darling! Happy FFWF! Based on the last ten fics in your Ao3 history, which story do you think absolutely needs to be read by the masses? And why?

Oh god... This is hard, so the thing is I read for a lot of different fandoms and lately one fandom led me to love a character I used to hate and has said character in a poly relationship because this writer is fantastic, but it isn't for everyone.

I'll give a few options but REMEMBER TO READ THE TAGS ON ALL OF THE FICS PLEASE SOME ARE REALLY TRIGGERING THANKS

Lucifer : Title: baby, it hurts when you look at me like that, (this feels a lot like heartache and i'm allout of jack)

Author: namedawesome

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26541730

So this fic is great and to me really just shows how great the potential is for the relationship between Chloe and Lucifer with my favorite character Trixie.

Descendants : TRIGGER WARNING also slight smut which I skip but you do you

Title: You’re Gonna Feel Found

Author: RebelPaisley

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446987/chapters/64437574

Fantastic Fic about Chad and a prior toxic relationship. Poly fic. Author has a few other FANTASTIC pieces as well!

Prodigal Son:

Title: cinnamon and vanilla

Author: bacondoughnut

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26509945

God it was so sweet and Malcom Bright deserves so much love in the world.

I don’t have a 9-1-1 fic in my last 10, but here is a rec anyways!

9-1-1

Title: I’ll Be Your Arms, I’ll Be Your Steady Satellite

Author: The lovely @doctornineandthreequarters

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841758/chapters/62781931

I am not just recommending this cause she sent me the ask, but because it is one of the best works in the fandom. It captures all that I want from their relationship and adds in a Buck having a kid which is something I absolutely ADORE.

Thanks for the ask! Happy late FFWF!

#happy ffwf #FFWF #happy late ffwf #doctornineandthreequarters #thanks for the ask #I love all of these fics so much

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fedtothenight · 5 years ago

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hey, it's the anon watching Lucifer. I have literally three episodes left of s4 and I'm taking a breath because then it's Over and what. anyway, Why was Maze's character murdered in s3, Carme. why. also, I was so into Chloe and Lucifer as a ship for the longest time, but then she had to go all Vatican on him?? Betrayal. Lucifer and Maze deserve better 2020. p.s. Linda is the only character with brain cells, huh. I love her. also ELLA.

i know i just sent you an ask about Lucifer, but him screaming “I’m drowning!” and “I can’t stop asking myself, ‘Why do I hate myself so much?’” just completely and systematically Ruined me and i’m sobbing on the floor, so. there’s an update.ma'am, i’m still not over Lucifer actually Choosing to go to hell and letting no one convince him otherwise. also Maze being left high and dry by eve. like, i get eve’s stance but still. it’s been a whole ass day since i finished the series and i’m still suffering, waiting for the next season.

sooo sorry for answering so late! these past few days have been crazy busy!

i definitely agree on maze’s season 3 character assassination. the only way i can somehow justify it is by maze going through a teenage-like ‘all in or all out’ phase, with all her newfound emotions and feelings bombarding her left and right. if we think about it, one big divide between characters like maze & eve and chloe & linda is free will/agency - the former were literally created to serve a male figure (respectively, lucifer & adam), so they’re now finding themselves for the first time with agency over their own bodies & lives. maze especially, she was shaped in the pits of hell and then dragged to a world that was never hers and she sometimes still struggles to understand. i think it would make sense for her to go haywire, being free and feeling things at the same time? too much. i think the most off-character thing, though, was the whole thing against linda. i hate when writers create useless female rivalry over a man. and i hope maze can find a great woman to love in season five.

chloe going to the vatican left me ???? i don’t know wtf the writers smoked for that one. i would understand dan - mostly bc he already dislikes lucifer lol - but chloe?? like they have been working together for the whole time?? he says that he’s the actual devil TO EVERYONE?? that whole part left me baffled. and when has the catholic church ever been trustworthy in the first place? a mess.

as for the ‘i’m drowning’ scene, I KNOW. tom ellis is a fantastic actor & lucifer has had one of the biggest character developments. sometimes i miss his season 1 attitude, but i’m v happy about where the character is now. not unlike maze, he’s never had actual free will & the time he tried to ‘rebel’ he was cast straight to hell. someone else here, or on twitter, was actually delving a lot in the subtext of lucifer having self-harming tendencies (eg cutting off his wings) then going to admit he actually loathes himself. it. uh. made me feel a lot of pain.

can’t wait for season five! i hope lucifer does the big reveal to dan & ella (mostly curious about ella’s reaction tbh). i personally think trixie already knows!

let’s be honest, there’s three characters with brain cells: dr linda, ella, and trixie.

#Anonymous #lucifer

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hedonssippingseagrams · 7 years ago

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Fic Rec List

I am BIGLY procrastinating so I thought I’d spend some time compiling a fic rec list. Not comprehensive, or in any order. These are just the ones that I re-read or have made me lose my shit. Most of them are ones we’ve all read, but hey... You never know. If you don’t see one that you love on here, send me it! I may have missed some great things.

Barn Burner by campholmes - Hockey butches who hate each other turned girlfriends. There is something magic about this story for me. Maybe it’s the way it’s from Katya’s pov but I can clearly see each of Trixie’s thoughts because I’ve had them before and it’s like watching myself but through the eyes of someone who just wanted to eat Trixie’s ass this whole time.

They Don’t Make Em like They Do in the Coutry by yekaterina - Look, let’s just pause and say that half of this list is going to be yekaterina and campholmes but I’m not going to apologize for that. This one features a big age difference with the youngest of them being 30 (I, for one, am tired of reading about 20 somethings falling in love, she says as she fully has a fic about that) and a buzzed headed Trixie who inherited her daddy’s bee farm. Katya works at public radio and is written like a muggle version of Prof Trelawney and I’d quit my job to follow her anywhere.

Vegasboud and Down by yekaterina - Look, I’m showing some serious self control to only have this third on the list. I love this fic so much that it’s actually embarrassing. (No, really. My no drag knowledge friend got me a chocolate semi truck because when I got drunk at her house all I talked about was Big T. In my defense, chapter 2 had just dropped.) This fic features a nasty big dumb truck driver, a broken yet tough and witty erotic dancer, and an adorable rat pup. I can’t even talk about it because while I may be procrastinating, we’d be here all night.

Sandpaper by UNHhhh - Het sex? In my fic list? Yep. This shit is the hottest thing I’ve ever read. But besides that, it’s so well written, the descriptions are refreshing and vivid and sometimes I get lost in my re-reads because I’m fascinated by the small details the author has included.

Double Lines by UNHhhh - domestic pregnant trixie really gets me going. This fic gives me baby fever and I hate it for that but otherwise it’s sooo good. The little nickname in there thrills me. It all thrills me. The relationship is so strong and their fight they have in the middle just... it’s so good. I’m knocked out of words thinking about it.

We’ll take a pause from the holy trinity of authors and explore my other recommendations, but if you haven’t read every single work by those three authors then you’re wrong.

Honey and Yarrow by katyazeroni - First, A+ for that author name. Second, this is so adorable and cute but also manages to be raunchy and realistic when you’d almost least expect it. If every tumblr post about wanting a lesbian girlfriend got compiled into one fluffy little present featuring cacti, it’d be this. I love it.

I found a fox, caught by dogs by whenyourhairisalsoahood - This fic has actually changed me as person, no hyperbole. You’ve got yoga teacher katya (but she’s so much more than that in this story) dating a lighting tech Trixie. You’ve got accurate portrayals of past addictions, you’ve got cunty with a heart of gold Violet, you’ve got fisting. This fic has helped me find things within myself that are strong and good, it’s opened my mind to gender roles and where I’d like to ideally fall in them, it’s given me a new kink. It’s so wonderful and I cannot recommend it enough.

Powdermill Lane by silvervelour - I’m a slut for any fic that takes place in the 90s and opens to a beach bonfire. This toys around with lost love that’s never truly lost and the idea that a small town doesn’t have to be a prison. It’s so much NOT a cliche that it’s jarring at first. I’ll admit, I read it slowly because it always went where I least expected. And I loved that. It’s beautiful and it feels like the type of fic to read while laying on the couch on a Sunday afternoon.

Take Off Your Pink Cowboy Boots by silvervelour - There are some authors that you can tell what they’ve experienced (or not) by how they write their fics. And I can tell you that silvervelour has been in a life changing kind of love. Their fics about Sashea are equally beautiful and soft and slow and calm, so go read those as well. This one is about famous Trixie and back up dancer Katya and for once it’s Katya taking care of Trixie, which is so sweet and kind. I love it, I love love.

For All The Honest World to Feel by daremebyday - First, I don’t like non-aus very much, but this one is beyond. Second, I’m not sure I’m caught up on this because I had to stop reading because Trixie’s depression was hitting too close to home. But it’s smart and beautiful and cuts deep and I respect daremebyday so much for writing this.

Two Roads Diverged by artificiallale - 13 Going on 30 meets Trixie Mattel. This one in particular has consumed many a text message thread. It’s only 2 chapters in, but it’s one to keep your eye on.

Little Plastic Castle by artificiallale - Let’s do a little lale streak, eh? This one’s cute and sweet and can be read in a quick sitting. I’m a sucker for bakery aus and this little surprise about Katya’s identity was adorable to watch unfold.

A Ticket to Anywhere by artificiallale - This is the good shit. I love an unreliable narrator and Katya is a plain dumbass in this. Plus there’s a subplot that really makes it worth the read.

Girls Like Dollies and Wingwomen by artificiallale - If you like high school fics, here, drink your juice. If not, no biggie. I’ve stopped reading them, but I liked these when I first got into the fandom. GLD is cute because I love me a good “but I can’t be gay!” story line and WW is cute because it feels like Glee fanfic and I’m trash.

LoveShack by mallstars - Bitch. This is it. This is my shit. Amber and I will text all damn day about these idiots. Remember that one house at college that was the party house of your crew and it sometimes feels like a liminal space when you think back on it? Welcome to this fic. (Shout out to Billy and Ryan’s house on West End and special shout out to the bathroom across from Alex’s room where I gave my first oral.)

A Patch of Heaven by miss_squid - Katya in a suit and Trixie in an ugly bridesmaids dress spend a weekend together. This is cotton candy cute.

When the Sun Comes Up by planecrashdreams - I wish this had finished, but I’m putting it in because it’s good stuff. Urequited (well, requited yet not acted on. Well, acted on but never mentioned again) love. It’s non-au, but I love me a good heart break every now and then.

There’s Beauty in a Work in Progress by acactusandalily - I’ll admit, I’m not sure about this one yet. I’m intrigued as hell and I love Trixie so much in it, but Katya has me a little worried, as do the tags. Guarding my heart with this until it develops, but I trust this author to give me a happy ending.

Hello? by chantiemaya - GUYS. What was I doing putting this so low?!? A cheating fic DONE CORRECTLY?!? What. I love infidelity fics because I love seeking validation for my past mistakes but this one is great. It also consumed many a text message between Amber and I as we wondered what Joe was going to do.

Every Other Freckle by missbinch - This reminds me of a favorite fic I read in another fandom. Trixie is Katya’s assistant, Katya is unhappily married to a senator. It’s well written and sweet and gives me butterflies. Currently on hiatus/unfinished.

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by trixyaas - You may be thinking to yourself, this is a lot of lesbian fic with zero historical or period pieces. You’re welcome. This is a 1915 fresh off the boat Katya working at Trixie, I’m sorry Beatrice’s daddy’s mansion. She’s about to be promoted to Trixie’s personal maid and spoiler alert Trixie is also a lesbian. What sort of hijinks could ensue?

Five Foot Three by thesemovingparts - Another college fic, this time featuring But I Can’t Be Gay Trixie Mattell, now with Added Trauma. The big part of this that makes me fall in love is that it features my girlfriend Chicago. My friend (the same one who bought the semi truck) has read this because she went to Columbia College and we both love it a lot.

Troika by spoky - abandoned but so worth reading the first few chapters for the laugh. Guys, Trixie... and Alaska... are dating. And ask... Katya... to top. I’m wheezin.

Weak by knox - And now we’re fully delving in to non-trixya territory. This one is violet/katya/trixie poly relationship and I’m pretty sure if you chant that phrase three times into a mirror, I appear. It’s damn good.

To the Sickle and Back by aphistas - Soulmate au, violet/katya. Takes place during season 7 filming. This fic shook me to my core and I love it to pieces.

Strawberry Moon by vrginsacrifice - You know those movies that are so so so good until the end and you get so mad and you rewatch them to see if anything could have told you that it’d end so bad and you go online to see if there’s an alternate ending or a director’s cut? Anyway, read Strawberry Moon. Violet and Trixie compete for Katya’s love, but Katya is maybe to selfish to deserve either of them.

Something Borrowed by artificialjazz and Missbianca - THIS FIC IS MY LIFE. My life and my blood and my oxygen. Spoiled little courtney comes home to find a new wife to be Willam in her house. They end up fucking. They end up in love. The wedding is still on.

Strawberry Daquiri by missbianca - I love witney and I especially love witney in Willam’s pov. I especially love witney in Willam’s pov when they get the voice right for him. This is perfect and sweet and sad but then happy!

More Than I’m Supposed To by missbianca - one more witney because i fucking love witney okay someone needs to write more please

Possibly, Maybe by pichitinha - Coffee Shop AU with the sweetest little plot I’ve ever seen in my life. Cavities. This has suspense and drama and everything is exactly right for a fluff piece. I’m currently really behind in the thing I’m procrastinating on and even skimming this made my anxiety disappear for a minute. It’s good.

Sk8er Girl by Squeaky Pink - Look, I hate reccing things on AQ because it’s impossible to find anything, but this is adorable and I miss this author. HS au, bad girl Katya, good girl Trixie. What more could you want?

Unlikely and Set Up by Spoky - This is Alaska/Kim Chi fic and that’s really all you need to know to get you to click. Adorable and short.

Art and Anatomy by Pink Shrooms - an oldie but a goodie. College roommates, trans Katya, pee kink, seriously good love. I can’t recall much about it as my list gets further and further, but I know it deserves to be here.

Dina’s Fun Aunt by Ellen Thwoorp - Look, this was one of the first fics I read and it still holds up to this day. It’s adorable kindergarten teacher trixie with eccentric russian katya. Trixie’s closeted, Katya is a woman in love.

Willam Fixes Everything by Mistress - Oh, yall wanted a twist? Willam/Trixie with some eventual Trixya. Short and sweet, could read in less time than it’d take Willam to make 200 dollars, and it’ll leave you smiling.

Welcome to the Dollhouse by fryshook - This whole thing reads like I’m high and I love it. Violet and Trixie have a weirdly tumultuous past and are hanging out when Katya sends them a video of him jerking off? I don’t know man but this thing brings me so much joy. It’s one-liner after one-liner.

Alright, back to the good stuff.

Busted Saddles by UNHhhh - Do you ever find yourself liking the aesthetics of brokeback moutain but you want lesbians? You’re in luck! There’s a moment where trixie rides a bike in yellow pedal pushers for a several miles just to bring katya a pie (and then she rides katya and eats her pie, yaknowwhatimean) (I’m getting delirious why did I take this task on.) But yeah this is a great fic I love it I love cowgirl Katya I love any fic that has a pick up truck because I’m southern trash.

Women’s Liberation is a Lesbian Plot by campholmes - Did you see Milk once in college? You’ll probably like this. All jokes aside, this is a lovely and beautiful story. You can tell the author has done her research (which can be said about everything she writes) and it’s really easy to visualize the girls and their personalities.

The Right Allocations by campholmes - Yeeeeaaahhhh. I don’t even know. I love this song, I love this idea, I love this fic. Fucking Katya in shoulderpads borrowing a pen from Brian Firkus’s gay ass who then proceeds to have the best day of his life. How does the baseline from the song play in your head the whole time you’re reading? That’s good writing.

A Philosophical Anthology of Fucking by campholmes - First, im not just listing all of her fics here, but I am choosing my favorites to discuss. Let me live. Second, Trixie as a needy little bartender to Katya’s Judith Butler gig? It’s all I want. This phrase: “Katya is certain she’s complimented almost constantly, and she’s glad for it. She deserves it.” tells you everything you need to know and it’s such a good story.

Are You Good? by campholmes - You knew it was coming. It’s so good though! Sugar mama fic at it’s finest, with a really good fight in there at the end. Plus, some of the smut in here is insane.

Rose Soap by campholmes - 70s lesbians. Weed. Bell bottoms. Falling in love. This list making has made me realize that I love fics with giant fights in them that bring them closer together. After I read this I bought rose scented lotion so I could smell Trixie. Hey, im gay whats up .

Glasnost by campholmes - Okay. But this one is too good. It shouldn’t even be on this list. This should be in a museum. Two Russians fall in love in the worst time in Russia, but Katya is too stubborn and selfish to be an active participant in their love. Huge fight. Yuge. I remember when it came out, I was texting up a storm about it. We took sides. (I think Trixie was right, no doubt.) I am patiently waiting for the last installment to see how the girls settle it all. Do not read with vodka or you’ll die trying to keep up with Katya.

Belle Femme by campholmes - This was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and I am so happy that it was. The first few paragraphs hit home in a way that was and still is so jarring that I had to screen shot them and send them to fellow teacher friends.

Cactus and Lily by campholmes - remember that time Two Birds came out and we all fell debilitatingly in love with trixie? Campholmes wrote a fic about it.

Perestroika by campholmes - It’s too late in this to include reaction gifs but the blinking guy belongs here. So you’ve got little baby drags Trixie, still tight with Trannika and Kim, still pudgy and hasnt buzzed his head yet. Then you’ve got baby drags Katya who suddenly has to host Trixie in her apartment and Trixie falls in love with her HArD and then suddenly when your heart is so full you’re only at the end of chapter one?? And you get to see Trixie go to the Race and Katya transition and they like become adults with lives and each other and its all just magic.

*cracks knuckles* These next four are all just one chapter each but please listen when I tell you that it is all worth it. Just read them, subscribe to them, and when beatricemattel wants to grace us with their gifts, you’ll be rewarded.

Dinner’s Ready by yekaterina - hahaha so this was a concept that used to get mentioned right when I started following beatricemattel but I was never sure if I’d see it. Boy howdy. This is... unsatisfied housewife katya who drinks too much wine and loathes her life meets pink prim proper avon (mary kay?) lady trixie and somehow i swear to god you can look at the words, there’s no written tension but you FEEL IT because ao3 user yekaterina is not a real person who speaks and writes english like the rest of us, they are a messiah that has been granted to us

Pretty in Pink by yekaterina - You know that fuzzy pink sweater of trixie’s? This idiot wrote an entire fic about it. That’s it, really. I have the biggest heart eyes for this fic and soft sweaters and sticky little children who hide in libraries.

Here Comes Your Man by yekaterina - DILF brian. Daddy Brian with his daughter Jolene and his pink ass pants show up to a Valentines day party to meet this frumpy yet gorgeous woman and she realizes that he’s a D she’d L to F. dilf daddy brian. I can’t stop saying those words because they feel so right.

In Deep Trouble by yekaterina - Here’s a fun fact about me. I had my first wet dream after watching Whip It with ellen page. This fic is a roller derby fic. Katya seems intimidated by Trixie which is just my type of shit.

Well, that’s all folks. It’s 1:44 am here, my alarm goes off at 5:30 and I haven’t done any of the shit I need to do before work tomorrow! Punch me in the motherfucking face, am I right?

But I hope you find something new in this list to bring you joy. Send me things you think I’d like that aren’t on here. (Friendly Fire is on my list to read, I promise!)

#this was a labor of love

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knowthyselfrp · 7 years ago

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AGE RANGE: 26 // OCCUPATION: RED DRAGON LEADER // PRONOUNS: he/him

You were just a goofy kid trying to make it through the complex time that high school was when your grandfather revealed your fate. They called themselves the Red Dragons, needing to defeat the evil that were the Huntsclan. You thought it was the most exciting thing to happen to you, after all, what child didn’t dream of wanting to grow up to be a hero? However, you had no idea how dangerous this life was. Training came first, before friends, family, and relationships. Despite your grandfather’s efforts to discipline you further, you only learned from when you messed up and even after all the terrors you’ve seen, it’s admirable you’ve still kept your humor. Maybe it’ll be the only thing you’ll have left.

Rose Martinez- You had always admired her both in secret and outloud as you lamented over her to your friends. In highschool, you two were so much closer than you were now. You both blamed it on starting university, but that wasn’t much of an excuse when you two attended the same school. No, it was the fact that she was the very person you were being hunted by that ruined whatever fragile relationship you two had. Of course, you wish to reconcile but it’s hard when the stolen looks you take are simply that: a moment meant only for yourself because it seems like you both aren’t who you used to be. It’s only a matter of time before you realize she’s more ruthless than you can imagine.

Arthur “Spud” Spudinski & Trixie Carter- You three have been childhood friends for as long as you can remember. Despite all the lying, sneaking around, and sketchiness, they both still have stayed loyal by your side. They’re the only ones other than your family that knows about your secret and helps you with your cover. Sure, they don’t approve of your methods and they’re not happy that you put yourself in danger just to defeat the “Huntsgirl,” but they know it is for the best. They’re not your sidekicks, but more like your partner in crime and it’s comforting to know they will always be by your side.

You amuse the Creator with your funny jokes and silly catchphrases. But He is far too excited for the Big Reveal, and perhaps He wants the entire town finding out how dangerous you really are. After all, you’re His favorite little Dragon and that can only mean more entertainment for Him. You hope He has a much grander idea than what you have been dealt with, and perhaps that is even more tragic: the fact you think you are here for anything other than Him.

Ludi Lin

run my child. sprint through town, your first skateboard in your hands. smile because you are a fire blazing, burning every passerby with your excitement. reach the park, try to start learning before your mother catches up. but she’s suddenly plopping the helmet on your head, warning you of dangers, and then off you go, falling and laughing and filling your world with light.

( do not notice your mother’s worry transforming her face. do not see the man watching the two of you from afar. do not lose this light, not just yet. )

you’re much too loud according to all your teachers, but what are they to expect from first graders? they rule the land, though, and you are subjected to the corner once more, mouth pursed and feet swinging as you are instructed not to jump from the chair.

but you are not alone for long, as another joins you in the prison, and when you ask their name, the response spud sends you smiling, smiling, smiling. you latch onto him, and then another soon joins, trixie pixie and all her wit, and the three of you are a force that no teacher or townsperson can break.

all of you grasp hands and run head first against the threat of growing up and all it entails. it starts as scraped knees and whoops of glee, then transforms into frustrated groans and pencils scribbling along homework. it is one supporting one another through troubles with other classmates, or fights with parents, or even arguments among each other. but you are all facing similar battles, and as you all enter high school, the three of you navigate the first two years, and everything seems perfect. there are still challenges, of course, and you understand life isn’t meant to be easy, but you are happy, you are content. and that is so, so wonderful.

( and you, jake long, didn’t you wish for it to last? did you know that wishes are useless in a place like this? )

you are helping your grandfather, tinkering with the devices that are brought by customers desperate for someone to fix their belongings. you’d rather be mixing music back at your house, but you are a good grandson, putting aside your wants and needs for family. but your grandfather has been gone for a long while, only his dog keeping you comfort at the front desk.

and the minutes tick by, and at some point, you need help, so you begin searching all around. and your curiosity spikes where it shouldn’t doesn’t it? you pick at something at his desk, and the shrine to your grandmother shifts, and oh, you are a match falling down the hole.

when your grandfather finds you, hands running along masks and weapons, there is shock and a touch of awe in your voice as you sputter, “are we part of some ninja clan?”

( oh you poor, poor fool )

one, two three, and you slam your face-first against the floor. gasp all the air you can, this is your only chance of rest.

“up!” commands your grandfather, “again!”

push yourself to your feet, raise your fists, one, two, three, on the floor once more.

“up! again!”

get up, get up, raise your fists, one, two, three —

“UP! AGAIN!”

stretch your mouth wide this time, unleash that guttural scream, swing your leg out, one, two, three, get up, GET UP —-

your grandfather groans on the floor as you stand, breaths uneven, chest heaving. but your grandfather is smiling wide and despite yourself, the flame of pride burns, burns, burns.

“good. again.”

it’s trixie who finds you tucked behind some building, blood pooling around you, and she’s screaming for spud to call the ambulance, but somehow, someway, you convince the two of them to carry you away from where the hunstclan are prowling.

and you try, you try so hard to keep their hands from becoming bloodied, but you are too weak and the two of them are crying, and you are crying, and this, this is all a mess because of your own poor choices.

and they have to know what they’ve involved themselves in, and when you utter your family’s secret, the two of them offer their support and their care, and ‘we’re meant to face the same fears together, right? somehow, someway?’

but you know one day they’ll leave you, don’t you? you know that you’ll have to let them go, right?

and yet you smile and crack a joke anyways, because what else are you to do?

( you’ll learn soon enough )

there is a girl who you think will stay, but she fades from your life as you enter university, and the future leader of the red dragon is not supposed to be wounded by something like heartbreak. you know this.

and still you pour what little energy you have left, and use time you definitely don’t have to construct a song that is not your style, that does not fit the profile you once created in high school, and you think ‘maybe, maybe.’

you don’t release it. it sits on your laptop, finished and prepared, but you leave it be.

you have to leave it be.

the day of your university graduation is the day your grandfather announces you are to take over his position, and you try, you try so hard to feel pride in this. to feel joy that he trusts you enough, that you are finally seen as a true successor.

but as the doors close and the congratulations have long fallen to silence, you close your eyes and wish over and over and over again.

( haven’t you learned? when will you learn? )

you stumble into your household a week before you leave, after one of the worse interactions with the huntsclan, scrambling to hide your wounds from your younger sister and your father. you struggle to finish the wrappings, cursing under your breath, and suddenly the light shines and the color drains from your face.

but it is your mother standing in the kitchen, lips pressed together. she strides forward, gathering your hands in hers, finishes wrapping you together again. and when she steps back, you want to launch forward, hug her tight. but the two of you remain silent until your mother raises a hand to swipe across her cheek.

“i tried my best to shield you, jake.” she is so quiet, and this scares you. she cradles her wrist with her other hand, and she closes her eyes. “i don’t want this life you.”

some days, you are fading like the fire is so close to dying. you are suffocating from your own smoke, and you can barely navigate your way to safety. and other days, that fire burns so bright that it blinds even you. what are you to do now with this flame? how will you control and treat it with what it deserves? jake long, red dragon, what will you do?

( i suppose we shall see, won’t we? )

the first and only custom skateboard helmet that he himself crafted. it’s rough in looks, his amateur handiwork obvious in the wobbly lines of chinese characters and creative designs. but it is his own, something he doesn’t need to share with anyone else, and when he places it on his head, the weight of what that means soothes and comforts. as if it can protect him from every danger, not only the one that comes with falling from a skateboard.

#disney rpg #lsrpg #lsrp #literate rp #original rp #jake #american dragon #jakeskel #taken #takenskel

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artquenga · 7 years ago

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! SPOILER ALERT !

RPDR All Stars 3 Thoughts So Far

Episode 1

I’m going to be reviewing all the episodes (at least as long as they’re interesting) Yall gonna read it?

Am i gonna share it online anyway?

But i’m gonna make it with reaction gifs and pics so yall can be at least entertained while scrolling down. Starting with Milk.

I’m a HUGE Milk fan but she belonged in the bottom, if not bottom 2, a bottom 3. If instead of wearing that cardboard stuff, which looks great for a photoshoot btw, she could have done a lot of “real” costume changes or a whole ~deconstructing drag~ performance art, or even ice skating (if possible...) in drag it would be way more succesful in my opinion. It’s a competition... take the fuck THERE miss THANG!! But i loved her entrance look, and even in the challenge she looked good doing it, her face was gorgeous and i love that the hair she was wearing paired well with the silhouettes that she presented.

Ok, miss DeLa is playing a game, girl we all clocked it.

The editing may influence our perspectives a little but that’s sooo last season... CLOCKED. It would be way better saying “i think yall are fierce blablabla but I choose the bitch who might send me home next week *shows lipstick*” That’s what i would probably do. It would be ok bc they all can handle that... Dela is serving some “miss congeniality” storyline for the show... and they are going to e d i t t h e s h i t o u t o f i t so we can watch good television...

I hope they don’t make her look like a bitch... and if they do, she better own it...

But i’m gonna say that in a competition like this you keep your strategy with yourself as long as you can. Morgan laid the cards down way too soon which gave her competitors the chance to make easy reasons to send her home. So in this situation you better be at the mf top all the time... and i don’t think she was expecting to be one of the bottom.

I think Morgan wanted to set the tone of the competition before the first elimination and it worked against her. I was not expecting her to be the first eliminated. And i hope she’s coming back, that two past bitches in red surelly came to “rescue”... Maybe they are not doing a ruvenge... maybe it’s another shenanigan to bring some eliminated bitch back.

Before moving on i might say that I’m keeping distance from the drag race fandom for the obvious reasons: I don’t wanna be bothered with the bullshit and also I wanna avoid spoilers... so i might not know stuff that the rest of the fandom already knows because i’m kinda off ~or very select with~ social media... and tbh that’s the only way you can see the show without spoilers. So, seing Bebe as the 10th contestant was kind of ~ok what’s happening?~

It was sort of an “it’s not right but it’s okay" feeling initially. Not because i don’t think Bebe shouldn’t be featured on rpdr again, but i think if she’s gonna compete again i believe that she should compete against “royalty”. IJS.

But girl... that outfit... she walked in the work room in good drag, and here’s the reason: she showed that she’s current, her makeup was good, the hair was right and the outfit was right... i woulda liked to see some kinda jewelry tho... but instead of going for obvious crowned queen with a bunch of bling and this and that... she went simple and she walked in like royalty because, girl... that cape was the only thing that she needed to show that... that red pattern with the plain soft blue inside was so chique... And on the stage she was Fierce.

Me watching Bebe’s number:

Honestly all season 1 bitches deserves to be featured again on the show at least once. (ok we have exceptions but i’m not gonna get into that)

I’m noticing that Trixie knows how television works and she wants that camera on her... she wants her interviews on air... good for her, i like her so she better do it... but then again we have backstage/workroom trixie and mainstage trixie. It’s only episode 1, i know... i a m A W A R E ... but that’s the first impression. Her act was too soft for my taste. I was expecting her to sing, but i was also expecting her to bring more comedy into it... she has gimmicks that would work. (Except that hooooneeey thing, girl, don’t wear it out please...) Thorgy... i love Thorgy... i was O B S E S S E D with the two outfits that she rocked. The entrance look was fierce, those pants and that pin/buttom thing on the shirt i loved... very fashion clown. On the main stage that white jumpsuit with that hair... Fierce.

I’m not as obsessed with her as much as she’s still obsessed with Bob, girl... I know in the interviews they must’ve asked her something that brought up the subject, but she did bring Bob up in the reading challenge... so... snap out of it!

As far as her performance, i loved it. I knew she wouldn’t just play the violin and wrap it up, she put her character into that and brought a fun act, but i agree with the critique that the girl from hsm gave to her. She could be a little more extra... Speaking of extra. BenDeLaCreme... THAT’S 👏🏻 WHAT 👏🏻 I‘M 👏🏻 HERE 👏🏻 FOR!! Brilliant, amazing, showstoping, never the same*, put it on a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, give birth to it! Her number was my favorite, i thought that it was very funny and entertaining. She’s one of my all time favorites and she did not let me down.

* OK the entrance look. Not my favorite... recycled drag is not my favorite thing in the world when you’re gonna appear on worldwide television.

Aja slayed... she gave me all the loife i needed. I thought that she were moving too fast, but that’s part of the whole vogue thing, maybe i wished to see more precision in her movements... but hey, she put on a good show, she’s a young queen and she brought good drag show like i want to see, and that jump in the end was fierce.

Shablamgela... I am so happy that she’s on the show again, she is one of my favorites to watch... and she worked it. Her entrance look was very cute, i liked it. Not my favorite number but still very good, she edited the shit out of her act i can tell, but honestly... I WANTED TO SEE MORE SHABLAM!!!

Her performance paid off for the outfit she was wearing which was kinda meh. But hey... the bitch is already messing in the workroom jumping in the conversations and talk shit back on that mirror bitch. LOVE IT. Speaking of talking shit...

Kennedy... Her entrance look was kinda bad, i thought that she had too much going on... the mirrors on the face i like, but not with that gown, not with that hair... i like some elements but not all together. Her number in the challenge i loved it... maybe she and Aja planned to use that high platform, or maybe one of them did it first and then the other one went like

And then asked the crew to use the same “prop”. But they used it in very different ways which was awesome. I love seeing Kennedy perform. I just want to see this bitch live (a lot of them, but these dancing queens honey... i LIVE) Me while these hos are defying gravity and the human body:

Morgan. I was underwhelmed with the performance, she should do the thing for the audience not so much for the other girls. But i loved her look, that bodysuit looks expensive as fuck!!

That brings me back to Milk... it’s frustrating... imma be honest because i love her sooo much... i know that Milk could do way better... like, i was more impressed with the fashion from the queens who are not “fashion queens” than with Milk’s, like i said before the performance was not my favorite by far... Her number was all about fashion but... we only heard of it, we haven’t really seen it... so... that for me was a bummer... i liked the beggining, when she fell on the floor i died... BUT then it got predictable, ~thats my real proboblem with it~ , and I GET the whole “touch the fashion” thing, but it felt kinda lazy. I KNOW... I AM HURTING myself with my own words but i CANNOT read the bitch bellow if i’m not honest about Milk just because she’s one of my favorites... I hope she step her pussy up... but i thought she was great in the reading challenge.

[edit] Ok, watching it again (and again and again and again the whole episode) and hearing other peoples opinions i might have been a little too harsh, but that’s because i love Milk and i was expecting her to surprise me with something more fierce, because it’s a competition beetween the ~crème de la crème~ of drag race and the girls have to kinda outdo themselves in this particular challenge... i saw that number with her lipsynching before and its fun for a Milk show but for the competition it wasn’t really succesfull, i do give her props for singing live but... ya... i think she were capable of planning something better [/edit]

ChiChi... honey... when i saw those flats... girl she was done... bottom 2. I knew it. You can wear flats and still put on a fierce show, and she could be wearing heels... she admited that she made a bad decision but... how can someone see other bitches like Kennedy Motherfucking Davenport, Shangela and Morgan putting on some heels in the workroom and walk out in those shoes knowing that their act is going to be “similar”?

It’s not the same act, but if she could work it in heels then she should work it in heels... I love ChiChi... but i couldn’t even pay atention to the performance because those shoes were distracting me the whole time... maybe if the tights were the same color as the shoe it wouldn’t be so bad, and then the hair was not a good choice, not with that outfit, it should be kinda pulled back so she can whip it better. (Bebe was barefoot but that was a part of her number and her look... it makes sense... Katya performed her gymnastics thing with flats last season but her overall look was on point. That’s the difference) The whole look literally lowered way down the level of her performance, that’s why the look is SO important, because we know that the talent, the energy and the work that she put into that was there, but because of the look it felt kinda messy. Her makeup was fine and her entrance look was cute. I liked it.

But hey... can I do 0.5% of what she did on that stage?

But yea, i can still, you know... be a bitch.

So the lipsync was amazing, DeLa managed to perform anaconda the right way, because it IS a fun/funny song and she brought it. Both of them were good but ben was better in my humble opinion. And then she sent Morgan home with the excuse that she were defeating the evil so the children can walk fearlessly in nature on the set of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3...

Girl... i can not wait to see how this turns out.. but I’m done for now.

So hey, if yall (people who had nothing better to do and decided to read this shit) want to message me, and kiki about the show, feel free to do it. Thanks and

#rpdr #all stars 3 #spoiler #rpdr spoilers #ruview

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ofcupidslove · 4 years ago

Text

𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑡: 𝑗𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑙𝑑

SUMMARY: Taking place during the time warp event, Cupid and Maze get kidnapped and placed aboard a pirate ship by an alternate version of Maze herself. There they run into an alternate version of Belgirel and he agrees to assist Cupid in her mission to collect as many of her friends from her timeline as she can in the next two weeks. It doesn’t take Belgirel long to notice that Cupid’s not the same as they knew her to be. Belgirel asks her about it and she regails them with the story of her no good, very bad year. TRIGGERS: Trauma, Violence, Suicide Mentions, PTSD triggers WRITTEN WITH: @mazikeenofmurders, @ofhellsbells (mentions of)

CUPID: "This is all your fault," she huffed as they were boarded onto the pirate ship. If Maze had just left her alone instead of picking a fight with her, she would've had time to signal Belphegor. And then she and Bells could've gone somewhere away from all these people and figured out their next steps. Cupid groaned as one of the crew members pulled roughly on her bindings and forced her to sit down. "Listen, you need to let me go," she warned them. "It's not safe for you. You ever hear stories about sirens? Try being an angelic one. The longer you keep me on board the more likely you'll lose your shit. Just let me go before anyone gets hurt."

MAZIKEEN²: "My fault? You're the one who wouldn't just agree to go home." If she had, Maze could've tracked down Lucifer and gotten him to send them both home, but no, Cupid had wanted to stay to help everyone else, even though she made everyone she was near go manic once she was around them too long. The crew seemed more cautious around Maze than they were with Cupid, but it wasn't that odd. Maze tended to radiate intimidation anyways, but there was something familiar about all of this. Both the crew and the ship itself were in her memory somewhere. They were demons. She could tell that much. They weren't really at a threat for going manic like the humans were, unless they just got so annoyed by Cupid that they went crazy. It was a possibility, but Maze had her own threats. "If you don't let us go, I'll rip out your spines and shove them back up each of your asses. You'll live through it, but I'll make sure you never move again. Poor Lucifer. How many demons will he have to lose because you made the mistake of taking his right hand hostage?"

Laughter rang out from the deck. It was choppy and deep but all too familiar to Mazikeen. "Shit," she muttered as the doors to the hold opened up. The captain of the ship stepped down the stairs into the hold. She wore a feathered tricorn, and half of her face was covered with a white mask. She was equipped with countless blades, daggers, and swords. Black boots went up to her knees, and a white blouse revealed a lot more than just her shoulders. Maze couldn't help but be attracted to herself. "I dowwe heh ould hhare," said the Captain, Mazikeen herself from this timeline. I doubt he would care, was what she was actually saying, but for some people, it was hard to understand. Oh, that was one thing Mazikeen didn't miss. John Constantine might've been a bastard, but at least he'd helped her easier to understand to those around her and made it so she didn't have to wear a mask all the time. Few humans alive got the pleasure of seeing that half of her.

CUPID: "I'm not going back without my friends. Not that you'd know what that's like because I'm pretty sure you don't have any," she fired back. You actually had to be nice to make friend and she didn't think Maze was capable of that. She winced at the threat that Maze dished out to the crew. The demon was very much capable of everything she said she was going to do to them and for a moment there was fear in their eyes. But then a booming laugh cut through the tension as the door opened. "Oh for fucks sake," Cupid sighed. There was two of them now. This just got worse. "Now, it really is your fault," she pointed out to Maze. Of course it was a version of herself that would kidnap them. Cupid understood what the pirate was saying even with the choppy speech. "Look, we're not here to cause Lucifer any trouble. We don't belong here and we want to go home. If you just take me to Belphegor then you won't have to see me again. I'll stay out of your way...both your ways, but I need to find them first."

MAZIKEEN²: "Not here, no." She did have a few friends. She'd come a long way from where she used to be. She had Lucifer, Charlie, Linda, and Trixie who she all knew were her friends. She wasn't sure where she stood with Chloe anymore, but she'd considered her a friend too. She wasn't going to correct Cupid on it though. She wasn't exactly wrong anyways. None of the people Cupid was trying to save were Mazikeen's friends. She didn't particularly care whether they lived or died, especially the Winchester since he was a threat to them all, and the Zatara kid definitely deserved to be left behind. She laughed a little when Cupid pointed out that it really was her fault. It was funny, and she wasn't wrong. The other Maze looked at them both with scrutiny. There was no doubt that she recognized herself, but she wasn't used to her own voice being so clear. "Hue ahhays hausse hrouhhle," said the pirate, pointing out that Cupid always caused trouble. "He ahhreahy hagh ugh huehid. I han gust keel hue now."

The present Maze stood up quickly, breaking her restraints. She disarmed one of the other demons of their swords and went at the Captain. The pirate Maze brought her own sword up and blocked the attack. "I don't care if you already have a Cupid. You're not killing this one." She might have disagreed with what Cupid was doing, but she wouldn't let her die, not on her watch. There'd be no going back without her.

CUPID: "Well I do and I'm not leaving them here. This wasn't a good time period for anyone." Especially those with magic. The church got very...prosecutorial around this century. Religion, it made people weird. She raised her eyebrow when the pirate Maze said she was going to kill her now because they already had a Cupid. She forgot that Maze was even more trigger happy in the old days than she was now. Age had mellowed her out some. "Killing me sounds a little--" before she could finish her thought, Maze was already breaking through the chains. In a split second she had a sword in her hand and was going for the Captain. Cupid was more than a little surprised to see Maze defending her. Logistically, this was the perfect place to kill Cupid. It wouldn't have an impact on this world and Maze herself wouldn't need to see the impact in their primary world if she never went back herself. But that's not what she was doing. "I agree that we probably shouldn't kill Cupid. I have a thought. How about we release me and forget I existed?" she offered again. It was a tempting offer because she knew both Mazes grew tired of her. She was pulled to her feet again by one of the crew members. "Look, whether I'm their Cupid or not, I'm still a Cupid. Belphegor will still be pissed if you kill me. It's safer to just let me go."

MAZIKEEN²: "Then they should make sure they don't do anything stupid," Maze pointed out, not that she was concerned about it. Humans got through things all the time, and she failed to see how Cupid's presence was going to make any of this better. "And if you're near them, then they're going to be more stupid." She meant it more in the sense that Cupid made them all manic, but she often encouraged stupid things too. It seemed like now that stupidity had passed onto her since she was defending Cupid of all people from this other version of herself. The pirate pushed Maze back and swung her own sword, which Maze also blocked before repeating the same action. They went back and forth with attacking each other all while Cupid was talking. Neither of them really made any progress in the fight. For the most part, they were fairly evenly matched. The only difference was that the current Maze had more experience under her belt. It provided her with a small edge. "No!" they both snapped at Cupid, pointing their swords at her when she suggested they forget she existed. Neither of them were willing to let her out of their sights, even if the pirate maze just wanted to kill her. Their swords were back at each other, clanking against each other as they moved around the room, but the pirate stalled for just a second when Cupid mentioned Belphegor for the second time. "Hhigh hood hellhegore shcare ee?" It was her mistake to pause just to ask why Belphegor would scare her because in that moment, the current Mazikeen knocked her down, holding her on the ground with her sword at her throat.

CUPID: Cupid knew Sam would manage to stay alive until she found him, but he was also sometimes just as reckless as she was. Especially if other people's lives were at risk. If he stayed here too long, there was a chance he'd die trying to save someone. And there was no Charlie around to save him. "And that's why I need Bells," Cupid pointed out. "They can put people to sleep before I make them manic." She said the phrase as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She was tired of this conversation already. She watched the two Mazes fight for a moment, but they were fairly evenly matched. Maybe if they kept going they'd just tire themselves out and Cupid could slip out unnoticed. While they fought around the ship, Cupid worked at her bindings. She kept talking the whole time to distract the crew from looking down in that direction. She froze for a split second when the Pirate Maze asked her why Belphegor would scare her. "Because," Cupid began, she smiled to herself as she felt the ropes loosen from all her efforts. They still stayed wrapped around her but not as tightly anymore. In that moment, her Maze managed to knock the Pirate Maze down too. "It doesn't matter what universe I'm in, there's always one constant and that's the love me and Bells have. It's been great, but..." she unfurled her wings, snapping the bindings that were holding her. The force of it all pushed several of the pirates overboard. Cupid bent down to grab a stray sword. "This ship is ours now and you're taking me to them."

MAZIKEEN² + BELGIREL: Maze rolled her eyes. Cupid would always claim she needed Bells regardless of the situation. "And what, are you gonna just hold them hostage in one place, keeping them asleep forever until you find a way to take them home?" Maze didn't think that would work, and most of the people wouldn't be happy about it. She doubted Cupid's friends would want to be put to sleep when they were all likely working on fixing the problem. The best thing for everyone was to get Cupid back home, but she couldn't do that until she handled herself. Both Mazes rolled their eyes as Cupid gave a dramatic speech about her love for Belphegor and Belphegor's love for her. Maze didn't think this pirate was going to be moved by a speech like that, but she couldn't help feeling a little proud as Cupid broke out of her restraints and grabbed a sword. She smirked a little as Cupid claimed that the ship was theirs. They were still outnumbered, but with Maze holding the captain down, the other pirates didn't have much of a chance. Still, Maze couldn't let Cupid go chasing down Belphegor. "Cupid, we can't go-"

Clapping interrupted her, followed by cheering high above them. Maze looked up to see someone sitting on the gaff. They hopped down, landing on the deck. "That was a nice fight." They grinned. Maze was confused. The face and the voice were familiar to her, but she'd never seen them like this. Was this really Belphegor?

CUPID: "Not forever," Cupid defended. She knew she couldn't be in this timeline for too long before the other Archangels caught up to her even with Belphegor's help. "Just until I get caught. Which gives me roughly like two weeks," she estimated. She was at least realistic about her odds. While the crew was still loyal to the Captain, Cupid knew that if they tried to fight her and Maze, she would be able to concentrate all this manic energy she was manifesting to make them stop one way or another. That train of thought stopped when she heard clapping up above. Moment's later, what looked like Belphegor landed on the deck in front of her. "They started it," she laughed and without thinking, she lowered her sword before running over to them and embracing them in a hug. She closed her eyes and held onto them tightly. She was so relieved to see them. Now that they were here, she could put this argument with Maze to rest and the real work could begin.

MAZIKEEN² + BELGIREL: "And you think those other numbskulls can figure out how to get back in under two weeks?" Maze questioned. They weren't the brightest of the bunch. Maybe with Zatanna's help they could've, but not with knock off version. Maze was cautious about this Belphegor. They weren't acting like Belphegor, and she didn't want to risk anything just yet. Cupid, on the other, hand seemed ready to toss everything to the side just to get a hug from them. "Well, it's Maze, so naturally she did," the archangel laughed. They were too poised to be Belphegor. They seemed too cool and cocky almost. They were starting to sound a lot more like she'd been told how the Void sounded when it had been in control of Belphegor. "Get away from her!" Maze snapped, lunging at the archangel, but the other Maze stopped her, pinning her to the ground this time. "Cupid, that's not them! Don't let it kill you again!" The archangel looked confused, then concerned, and then angry. "Killed you?" they asked. "What is she talking about?"

CUPID: "Yes," she replied assuredly. "They can." With some guidance from Sam and a power boost from Belphegor she was sure that she and her friends could figure out a way back to their universe before Michael found her. And even if he did find her, she'd at least amass enough people by that point that it wouldn't matter if he kicked her back home, he'd have to kick them back too. As her arms wrapped around what she thought was Belphegor, the hug felt different. Maybe it was because they were in a different universe and she wasn't their Cupid, but they didn't just hug her differently. They held themself differently too. They were upright and confident in a way that Belphegor never was. They were...realization dawned on her face but in that moment Maze snapped at her to get away from them. Maze lunged at the archangel but the pirate Maze grabbed her and pinned her down. "Hey!" Cupid wheeled around quickly, her sword drawn, eyes glowing as she collected the manic energy around her. "That's enough! It's a misunderstanding that's all." She looked at her Maze. "You're right. It's not Belphegor but it's also not the other thing from our universe. It's Belgirel." She knew in her heart of hearts whom she was dealing with. "They're not going to hurt me," she assured Maze. Her gaze then shifted to the pirate Maze. "But if you don't put your weapon down I am going to hurt you. Let her go."

MAZIKEEN² + BELGIREL: Maze rolled her eyes. She doubted that, but once she was pinned down to the ground, that conversation was far from important. The thought that this was potentially the Void was terrifying. If she failed to protect Cupid from it, then everything would be lost back in their own universe, and the Void would win there too. She wasn't fighting against herself when the pirate Maze pinned her. Time was of the essence to get Cupid away from that thing, and fighting herself would take too long. "Belgirel?" Maze repeated incredulously. That didn't make sense. She'd heard about them, Belphegor's twin, another one of Lucifer's older siblings. They were dead in her universe.

At the same time, Belgirel seemed just as confused. "Belphegor?" they asked, a bit of hope and excitement entering their tone. "Are they coming here too?" They watched as Cupid became more hostile towards the other Maze. It wasn't like their Cupid to do something like that. They pushed her sword down. "Maze, get off of her. She's not going to do anything to me, and I can make sure Cupid doesn't cause too much trouble. I've been keeping an eye on them ever since they got out of that building anyways." The pirate Maze grumbled and stepped back off of Maze, shooting them all a warning glare. "I'hll shill need heh hell oohshiher ahow hish."

CUPIDx2: Cupid nodded reassuringly to Maze. Belgriel had been gone for so long in her universe, but she knew them like the back of her hand. They would not harm her. She turned to look at them when they spoke Belphegor's name. "No," she shook her head sadly. "We--Maze and I and a couple of my friends--found our way here on accident. Belphegor wasn't with me at the time. They're probably looking for me though." The way Belgirel looked when they spoke of Bells made Cupid's breath catch in her chest. She knew the look. Their Bells wasn't here with them because their Bells wasn't alive. Pain swelled in her chest but she swallowed it back. Her Bells was still alive back home, she reminded herself. She eased up as the Pirate Maze stepped away from Maze. Cupid let out an exasperated sigh when the pirate Captain said she was still going to need to tell Lucifer about this. "You really have to be a snitch in every universe. Fine, tell him. But I'm not going home yet. I got separated from my friends and I need to find them."

"Gears," another voice, another Cupid, landed in front of them. She'd been observing things from the gaff of the ship. She'd kept her distance because she could tell the presence of two versions of herself was making things rocky here, but she had to admit it was cathartic to see herself, even another version of herself, pull a blade on Maze like that. She wasn't going to let Maze live that one down. "We're causing waves upstairs," she replied with a lazy smile. They were used to causing waves upstairs. "I can buy you some time, but..." she looked at Cupid. This version of herself was interesting and she was sad she'd miss this. "You have to be careful otherwise it's not Lucifer that's going to send you home." Lucifer could at least be persuaded to allow this Cupid to finish what she started. Michael couldn't.

MAZIKEEN² + BELGIREL: Belgirel looked heartbroken when she said that Belphegor wasn't with them. They knew their sibling wasn't here, but they'd hoped that maybe they'd show up. This wasn't the universe that Belphegor and this Cupid belonged too, and Belgirel would've wanted them to stay. Maybe it was for the best that they weren't here, but the thought of seeing them again pulled on their heart. They swallowed. "Yeah." Their voice cracked as they forced on a smile. "I'm sure they are." Looking for Cupid was what had gotten them killed here. They'd tried to protect her and gotten killed by Uriel in the process. Unfortunately for Uriel, Belgirel had quickly lashed back and killed him. It was no surprise to Belgirel that they'd be looking for Cupid now. "Maze can convince him to let you stay for a little while, can't you, Maze?" Belgirel pointed out. The pirate captain glared but huffed in confirmation. "See? It'll all be fine."

Belgirel brightened considerably when they heard their nickname being called out. They'd known she was there, but she always made their heart soar. As much as they liked the other Cupid, this Cupid was the one they knew and loved.

Maze on the other hand was less amused. "Great, there's two of them now," she muttered. That was going to make all of this even more annoying.

"How annoyed is Michael right now?" Belgirel grinned, but they also knew that as much fun as it was to make things hard for heaven, doing so would only mean that this Cupid would get sent back sooner.

Maze rolled her eyes. The last thing they needed right now was an annoyed Michael. They might have had a treaty in their time, but the same didn't apply here. Just like how the other Maze was willing to kill Cupid, she didn't doubt the other Michael would be willing to kill her before he sent Cupid home. "Let's not try to piss him off."

CUPID x 2: It wasn't fair. Even in this universe the twins were somehow forced the be apart. She wanted to ask Belgirel what happened to Belphegor but she didn't want to open that wound. Cupid turned her attention to the pirate Maze who seemed annoyed by the order but nodded and agreed that she would talk Lucifer into allowing her to stay for a little while. The angel didn't really trust the pirate captain. That Maze wanted her dead not even five minutes ago, but she did trust Belgirel, so she relented. "I just need a few weeks to find my friends and get them aboard. Will you help me?" she asked Belgirel. "My powers have gone haywire and I....keep hurting people." There was a lot of hurt inside Cupid herself and it was being weaponized against her will at the moment. She didn't like it.

Belgirel's face brightened at the sight of their own Cupid. Both cupid's could see the unmistakable aura of love around Belgirel. It caused the present day Cupid to flush a little. Even in her universe she'd known Belgirel loved her, but they were already gone by the time she'd put the pieces together. "Yeah well at least my other self is being helpful. Yours just tried to kick our ass," the present Cupid pointed out.

The softer of the Cupid's laughed. "It was a pretty fun fight," she leaned in and whispered. "Maze deserved it. Both of them," she agreed before turning her attention back to Belgirel. There was a vivacious smile on the softer Cupid's face, a lightness in her voice, and a grace in the way she carried herself as she spoke. That Cupid was happy and confident in ways present day Cupid could barely recall herself being. But she had been that way once. Before the war when she'd felt safe. She hadn't felt safe in such a long time. And now she'd been through too much to ever go back to that. She'd lost that innocence the same night her Belgirel lost their life.

"He's about as annoyed as he was that time we invited Dionysus to the honor guard ceremony," the softer Cupid recalled. The look on Michael's face that time had been priceless. "I can throw him off your scent so you can help my other self find her friends." The softer Cupid leaned in and kissed Belgirel. Moments later, she pulled away from them, still smiling as brightly as ever. She called out a chant and the pirate crew around her answered in response. "Be well, love," she reminded them and her present day self. She tipped her hat to the Mazes and with that she disappeared, making her way back to Heaven.

MAZIKEEN² + BELGIREL: The present Mazikeen sighed. "I'll go with her to make sure you get as much time as you can. You're insufferable when you're mopey." And Cupid definitely would be if she had to go back earlier than that without helping her friends. She was just thinking logically, not in any way to be nice to Cupid.

Belgirel rubbed the sides of Cupid's shoulders. "We'll figure it out," they promised her. "Like you said before, I can just put them all to sleep." They knew exactly what it felt like for their powers to hurt the people around them. While they usually had more control, when they got emotional, they couldn't help hurting people around them. Even Cupid needed to stay away from them when they got upset.

The Mazes just shrugged when Cupid commented about the fight. "What's wrong with that? I'd have done the same thing. Besides, how many opportunities do I get to fight with someone as good as myself?" Most of the demons in hell didn't present much of a challenge aside from some of the princes, and even some of them weren't that good at fighting since they'd gotten out of practice and didn't think to use their extra strength against her. Belgirel opened up a portal for them to Hell, and both of the Mazes went through it, but not before the present Maze shot Cupid a look. "Don't do anything stupid." Then they were gone.

Belgirel snickered when Cupid mentioned Dionysus. "Ooh that was a good one. Send him on a wild good chase. I know he loves those." They leaned in for the kiss and somehow came out of it looking even more in love with her, not taking their eyes off of her as she pulled away. They made half of a heart symbol with their hand over their chest and made a gesture of tossing it at her, signifying that half of their heart went with her. "I love you!" they called after her. "Give them Hell, Cue." They grinned before addressing the present Cupid. "So how many friends are we looking for?"

CUPID: She was surprised that her Maze was agreeing to leave with the Pirate Maze. Cupid suspected it had to do with Mazikeen's trust issues. She didn't trust the pirate Maze not to convince Lucifer to just kill her. That was fair. Who better to know Maze than Maze herself. "Thanks, Maze. I promise when you see me next I'll be my happy go lucky self," she replied with a lopsided smile. She squeezed Belgirel's hand to thank them when they agreed to help her. She knew she could count on them not just to help her round up all the people from the club, but also to keep her hidden for a while if the Mazes decided to change their mind. She rolled her eyes when her Maze stopped at the open portal and told her not to do anything stupid. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Cupid blew them a kiss goodbye as the portal to hell shut.

Cupid's blush intensified as Belgirel kissed their own Cupid back. She felt like she was intruding on a private moment. They were very much in love with each other and they knew. In 1693 in her own timeline, Belphegor had no understanding of their feelings for Cupid. As far as Cupid knew, they still didn't and they never might. Especially after they found out the truth about their void. Cupid winced as a pain shot through her wings, but she hid it by focusing her face downward as she sheathed her sword. She waved goodbye to the other Cupid, not wanting to admit that a part of her was relieved to see the ghost of her innocence leave the ship. "Oh, a couple hundred or so people. That's assuming some of them haven't die yet..." She knew some of them had. She'd been the direct cause of a few deaths already. She'd gotten upset when she found out she was stuck here and well she lost control. "We'll collect as many as we can in the next few days and hopefully when I get back to my world, Michael and his girlfriend will find a spell to bring the rest back."

BELGIREL: Although they loved their Cupid, a part of Belgirel was glad when she was gone. Being a creature of depression, they could feel how her presence brought the other Cupid down more than she already was. There was something off about both her and the other Maze that made it obvious to Belgirel that she'd been through something deeply disturbing. Mazikeen had mentioned something about something killing her before, but they weren't going to spring those kinds of questions on her just yet. Instead, they waited. They did what they promised to Cupid, and they helped her track down the people from her time. Cupid seemed to have a sort of pull to the people from her own universe, and kidnapping them was a breeze. Once they found the people, Belgirel simply put them to sleep, and they locked them up, preventing them from hurting themselves or others.

By the time night came, they'd rounded up more than a few people. They were all asleep, and even most of the crew had drifted off to sleep. A few of them meandered around, but Belgirel was most surprised to see Cupid still awake. They approached her quietly, not immediately interrupting her, but they didn't hide their presence from her either. After a minute or two, they cleared their throat. "Trouble sleeping?" they asked. "You know I can always . . . help with that." They wiggled their fingers, but they weren't forcing her to sleep. Something was clearly troubling her.

CUPID: She was having fun rounding people up. It gave her a purpose and something to do with her time. But she still hadn't found a lot of her friends. She hoped that they were okay and she hoped that Belphegor was holding up alright. She missed the feeling of them by her side. This was the longest they'd been apart in quite some time. Her sorrow made the mania worse, but at least Belgirel was able to put most of the people they'd rounded up to sleep.

It was night now and even the crew was asleep. The ship was quiet, and it made Cupid anxious. She didn't like the quiet. It left her with her own thoughts. Normally, she would've been able to shut off and go to sleep, but she'd left her bracelet with the nightmare dream catcher in her own universe. If she went to sleep, the nightmares would be back. In her own universe, the nightmares usually just scared her. But here they would have a direct impact on everyone else too. She didn't want to hurt anyone so she stayed awake. She was laying on the deck stargazing when she felt Belgirel's presence. Cupid sat up and greeted them with a gentle smile. "I didn't think you'd still be awake. I'm not tired," she protested. "Besides, it's a clear night and you can see the stars." She missed the stars. That was the rotten thing about living in a city with so much light pollution. The night sky was full dark, no stars.

BELGIREL: Belgirel smiled in return, but they could see the pain behind hers. "Well, I wouldn't normally be awake right now either," they agreed. It didn't take much to get them to go to sleep. They were often exhausted, and even now, they wanted to be asleep, but they'd prevented themself from doing so because of Cupid. They could feel how exhausted she felt, not necessarily physically, but emotionally. She was weighed down, and they needed to figure out what actually was going on before they got back to their normal routine. "Well, you can usually see the stars just about any night," they pointed out. Their world was still young, and Belgirel didn't know of how the world would progress to there being a time when you couldn't always see the stars at night. They stepped back towards the edge of the ship, standing on the railing and holding out their hand to her. "But there's something else I think you should look at with me." Their wings spread about behind them. "Fly with me?" they asked, giving her their best pleading look.

CUPID: She could see how tired they were. It had been a long day for all of them. Normally Cupid was high energy which is why she was the cause of most of the trouble she and the twins got into. "You can get some rest. I can keep watch over the ship," she offered, but knew they wouldn't take her up on it. They were awake for a reason, and she could venture to guess what it was. She wasn't very good at lying, and Gears could generally read her like a book. She smiled softly and she stood up. "Enjoy the stars. They won't always be so clear," she replied as her bright eyes took in the night sky. She ventured to guess she was the oldest being in this universe at the moment. She was older than the earth, older than Belgirel, and maybe even older than Michael. There was still some time to fix the wrongs in this universe that were now fixed points in time in her universe and that gave her some hope. She watched as Belgirel stood at the edge of the ship and held out their hand to her. Cupid didn't hesitate to take it. "Where to, Captain?"

BELGIREL: They shook their head when she offered to watch the ship, so they could sleep. This wasn't about that. The ship didn't really need to be watched over by either of them. It had a crew of demons, and even if something did go wrong, Belgirel was an archangel. There wasn't much they couldn't do to fix any problems they faced as a pirate, but she knew that already. “Well, I helped make some of them. I'd hope that they'd stay the way they are for as long as I'm alive. Even if the sky is cloudy, I can always fly up to go look at them. Heaven may be blocked to me, but my stars are always there.” They were usually a good read on Cupid, and while they could tell that she was feeling down, they didn't really know what was going on in her head now or what she was thinking. “Just follow me,” they told her. “It's a surprise.” They pulled her up with them into the air.

Although Cupid could fly too, they didn't let go of her hand. They were a faster flier than most of the other angels, and they didn't want her falling behind. They flew far far away from the ship, going for miles and miles without stopping, but with the speed of their wings, it didn't take them long to get where they were going. They slowed down as they approached a mountainous region, landing in front of a cavern.

“My Cupid and I come here a lot, mainly when we don't want anyone to find us for a while. No one else knows about it besides me, her, and . . . now you.” They led her deeper into the cave. It was dark and would've been difficult to navigate for normal humans who couldn't see through the darkness. “I know it doesn't seem like much, but just wait for it.” As they went deeper into the cavern, light emanated from crystals on the walls, guiding them forward until they approached a large circular opening. In the center of the ceiling, there was a whole that led up to more caves of glowing crystals. Water flowed from that hole as a waterfall into a small pool on the floor of the cavern. It was unclear how deep the pool was, but it was clear that it would've gone down far enough to let the water flow elsewhere. In the cavern above them, there was another opening above that, which opened up to the night sky. The bright stars reflected on the pool, making the room glow with starlight and moonlight now. Flowers grew closely around the pond while crystals grew towards the walls. It was grassy where the light could touch, and the atmosphere was entirely relaxed. In one spot of the cavern, there was a pile of blankets and pillows. There were instruments and, a lantern, and a small basket,all of which supported Belgirel's statement about coming here often with their Cupid. “I like to think of it as our home between heaven and hell.”

CUPID: She smiled at their optimism. Despite all the sadness they carried, Belgirel still knew where to find the light. Sometimes Cupid felt like that ability was lost to her, but she was still here. That meant there was a light somewhere that she still believed in. She liked to think that light was Bells. Belphegor believed in their love even if they didn't know what it was. She hoped that they'd still believe in it when she--a small pain shot through her body as she flew through sky with Belgirel. She panicked and grabbed ahold of them tightly. "Sorry," she apologized once they landed in front of a large cavern. "I must be out of practice." She'd forgotten how fast and how beautiful Belgirel's wings were.

Cupid looked up at the massive cave structure and smiled. So this was their safe space. "Don't worry, I can keep your secrets." She would always keep their secrets. She followed them deeper into the darkness until crystals began to appear and illuminate the space before them. "Woah..." she smiled as she took in the sights. It reminded her of a small cavern they'd once found deep within Eden. "It's beautiful," she grinned up at them. "Did you make this place?"

BELGIREL: They'd felt her drop a little as they'd been flying, and they saw the expression on her face, so full of pain. They knew that look well. Belgirel's own Cupid had worn it more than a few times, especially when she considered how separated they were by their positions in heaven and hell. It didn't stop them from meeting, but there were certain things they just couldn't do together. When they landed, Belgirel only looked saddened by Cupid's explanation. For some reason, she felt the need to lie to them, and that was somehow more heartbreaking than seeing her in a little pain. They didn't call her out on her lie, but their expression made it obvious that they didn't believe her. Unlike their twin, Belgirel wasn't as likely to believe everything she told them.

“I know you will.” That was one thing they knew they could believe. They let go of Cupid's hand, so she could look around while they went to lay down on the pile of blankets. They lay on their back as they looked over at her with a soft smile. “Not exactly. Time made it. Water eroded at the rocks and eventually made this cavern bigger and bigger. Then the water withdrew and left all this space open. It's natural. Sometimes even the most beautiful things take a lot of damage to get where they are.” They looked at her deeply, seeing if she could see what their conversation was trying to move towards.

CUPID: She knew they didn't believe that she was out of practice, but both of the elected not to acknowledge that for now. A part of her hoped they could just gloss over it, but she knew Belgirel well enough to know they wouldn't. She didn't know if she was ready to open the cap on all the emotions she'd bottled up over the centuries. There were some emotions she knew she wouldn't be able to bottle back up once they were released into the wild. It was best not to open them to begin with.

She walked around the cavern, her fingers gently touching the crystals and feeling the grass. Belgirel laid down on a pile of blankets but she could still feel their eyes watching her as they explained how the cavern was made. Cupid took to a resting position near the water, running her fingers through the ripples. She paused for a moment as Belgirel directed the conversation. Their eyes met for a brief moment but she didn't look away like she once would have. "Sometimes the damage doesn't create beauty," she pointed out. Over the centuries she'd seen water erode beaches and mountains into nothing. "Sometimes it just takes a beautiful thing and makes it unrecognizable."

BELGIREL: Her answer spoke volumes to how she felt, and Belgirel felt even more sad and concerned for her. What could she have been through to make her feel like that? It wasn't just that she had been hurt. It seemed like she considered herself damaged beyond repair. “Or maybe you just aren't looking at it right. Just because it's different from how it started doesn't make it bad.” They didn't want her to think she was unrecognizable. She was different from their Cupid, but she was still Cupid and still as beautiful as ever, inside and out. They stood up and walked over to her before sitting down beside her. They took off their shoes and put their feet in the pool. “You know I have to ask, and I know you don't want me to . . .” they started. “but if you don't talk about it, it's going to keep eating you up inside. As someone with a Void in me literally always trying to convince me to kill myself, I'm basically an expert on that. So come on. Tell me what's bothering you. Please?”

CUPID: "That's a nice sentiment," she smiled, but the smile was sad. Belgirel was just as protective of Belphegor as she was, if not more. She couldn't see them approving of what she and the others had done. If they knew the whole story, they'd see why she was unrepairable. They might even consider her a threat to Belphegor, and she wouldn't blame them if they did. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard as they sat by her and told her she needed to talk about it. "And ruin a perfectly beautiful night with such a sad story? Some books are better left on the shelf, Gears..." Her breath hitched when they mentioned the void. The water in the pool began to ripple a little more until Cupid released the breath she was holding in. "So it's here too..." she whispered softly. More importantly, Belgirel seemed to know about it. "I'm sorry, Gears," her voice was small. "I know what a terrible thing that can be."

BELGIREL: They didn't entirely expect her to accept something like that, but they weren't going to just drop it either. They were sure she knew that too. “Cupid,” they persisted. “You know I'll listen to any story. Good or bad. Happy or sad. Regardless of what the night's like. It won't change what I think about you,” they promised. “I can't make you talk about it, but you know that I care about you no matter what universe you're from. I just want to make sure you're okay.” They put a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. They nodded as she expressed her support for them in their battle against the void. “It isn't easy,” they admitted. “Belphegor has it in your universe then?” they guessed, looking sad at the thought of that. “I always thought the good thing about them being dead was that they didn't have this thing attached to them. But they've got you, just like I have my Cupid. That helps.”

CUPID: She believed them, she did. But it didn't make talking about what happened any easier. "If I start, Gears, I won't be able to stop." She didn't have a void inside her but that didn't mean that her sadness wasn't capable of consuming her to a point where she couldn't function. She was afraid she'd be useless for the rest of the mission if she opened that Pandora's box. There was so much she'd crammed into it at this point. It came out trickling in bursts through nightmares or floods of emotion, but she never let it out in full. She felt part of her grief breaking through to the surface as they talked about Belphegor and the void. "They do have it," she confirmed. "But I'm not sure how much of a help I am. They don't know about their void. In my world, you died and the part of me that was just a kid died with you too," she shook her head as a tear slipped down her face. She didn't like talking about this, but she couldn't stop the flow of words now. "Azrael was the first to know about the void because she could hear it. So, she told Lucifer and Michael. At the time you'd just died and Belphegor was a mess. Telling them about the void would've ensured that they'd kill themselves just to see you again. So, the three of them decided to keep the news to themselves. They looped me in eventually and it became my secret to keep too...it only got worse from there." They relied on her to keep telling lies so the secret could keep going. "So no, Gears, the damage isn't beautiful. It's devastating..."

BELGIREL: “It'll be okay,” they promised her. They'd make sure it was. She could pour out as much pain and heartbreak as there was in the world, and it wouldn't change the fact that they were here for her. They couldn't necessarily fix whatever problems she was having, but they could be here for her to talk about it. “You're always a help, Cupid. You-” they stopped as she explained that Belphegor didn't know. They frowned but didn't say anything at first. It wasn't fair to Belphegor for everyone to have kept that from them, but they understood why they thought they had needed to do that. Belgirel themself had been an emotional wreck after losing Belphegor. If they had truly believed the void, they might've killed themself to be with their twin too, but in this universe, Belgirel had been the first to know about it. No one could've made them believe otherwise if they tried. Belphegor was different. They were gullible, and just like how it would be easy for the Void to trick them into suicide, it wouldn't have been hard for their family to trick them and lie to them about their own curse. It was upsetting, and Belgirel's jaw clenched. “How long has it been?” they asked. Their words didn't show any emotion. They sounded neither mad nor sad, like they were still trying to process it all. “How long have you all kept that from them? How long have you all been lying to them about themself? What year is it in your universe now?” Of all the things they expected her to tell them, this wasn't one of them.

CUPID: Nothing would ever be okay, but she accepted that a long time ago. Part of Cupid was so reckless with her life because she didn't think it mattered much in the end. The closer they got to Belphegor finding out, the closer they got to the end of her life and their own (and their world with it too). The more lies she told, the more sure she was that this path only led to one thing. She couldn't get a good read on Belgirel's emotions, but whenever they gave her the poker face it was never good. They were still processing the news, but she couldn't blame them for being upset. She was upset about it all and she was the one who was lying to begin with. "It's 2021 where I'm from," she replied. She didn't try to justify what she'd done because she didn't have any justifications. "They'll know by the close of the year, if not before. Some things happened..." her fingers reflexively traced over the fabric of her clothes. Just beneath the fabric was a scar left by Belphegor's archangel blade when the void stabbed her. "My world and my Belphegor don't have much time."

BELGIREL: They did their best to keep their cool as Cupid told them what year it was, but it wasn't easy. They were better than Belphegor at controlling their emotions, but they weren't perfect. Belphegor was their biggest sore spot, and they couldn't help the depressing energy that was starting to spill out. It wasn't enough to cause death, but it was enough to hurt. Tears spilled from their eyes, and they pulled Cupid close, wrapping hundreds of arms around her in the way they always had when they were younger. “Cupid,” they said softly as they rested their chin on top of her head and patted her hair. “It's not fair for our family to make you do that as much as it isn't fair that everyone is lying to them. You shouldn't be forced to lie to the person you love.” They sighed as she continued. It was good to know that Belphegor would find out soon, but they could tell Cupid wasn't happy about the idea. “Why? What happened?”

CUPID: She felt their sadness. It amplified hers and she hoped that there was no one else on this island or in the oceans nearby. A million different thoughts of terrifying ways that she could stop her pain crossed through her mind, but all the thoughts stopped as Belgirel wrapped their arms around her. There was no holding the sadness in anymore. She clung to them and cried and cried and cried. She wasn't sure she was even coherent anymore. Immense guilt rippled through her, shaking her form. In between tears she managed to babble the words I could have stopped. I could've just told them the truth. She shook her head when they asked her what happened. She didn't want to talk about it but she couldn't help it now. It wasn't just their powers that were doing this, it was Cupid herself. She'd warned them that if she untwisted the cap even a little, she would explode.

"A few months back, the void took control of Belphegor temporarily. It hurt people, a lot of people." Her included, but she didn't say it out right. "When Belphegor regained control, we managed to convince them it was a dream. But then Azrael's scythe got stolen and Bells and I went to retrieve it. They ran into a ghost of one of the victims and..." Cupid shook her head. "Well, it's less of a dream when you're faced with the reality of it. They gave me their blade and asked me to..." her lower lip wobbled and she didn't finish the sentence. "I couldn't do it so I took their blade and I told them a story about how they must've been a possession when they hurt the woman. It's the closest thing to the truth and now the time table's moved up and we don't have a way to get rid of the void and when Belphegor finds out we've been lying this whole time...that I've been lying," she corrected, the pain was insufferable now and she was doing it to herself. "Maze thinks I'm being dramatic but she doesn't understand the damage we've caused. There's no going back...not ever."

BELGIREL: A part of them felt bad for this. It wasn't exactly intentional, making Cupid feel their sorrow and amplifying her own, but it also wasn't fair to her for her to be forced to let her feelings out like this. The good thing about this cavern was that although Belgirel hadn't made it themself, they had carved secret wardings into the wall. They weren't visible at night, but they kept Belgirel's powers contained when they were going haywire like this. They imagined it would keep Cupid's mania contained too. "It's okay. It'll be okay. You'll be okay," they told her in hushed whispers, but they doubted she believed them no matter how much they assured her.

They held onto her tighter as she explained what the Void did. Her world was like the future. They wondered if they would have to prepare for the same thing to happen to themself. The 2020s. They'd have to remember to prepare before that year came, but that was a problem for the future, not now. The thought of Belphegor being controlled by that thing was nauseating. They thought back to what Mazikeen had said before. Don't let it kill you again! She'd thought they were the Void. It was obvious now. "Cupid." More tears spilled out as they cupped her face in their hands. "Why would you let that thing kill you?" They tried to wrap their head around a reason why that would ever happen. If she knew that Belphegor was being forced to hurt others, why would she add herself to the list? Didn't she have any sort of concern for herself? Didn't she know what that would do to Belphegor? And it just got worse and worse. Of course the truth came to life. They couldn't really expect their lies to last forever, did they? "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, Cupid," and they were even more sorry for their twin. It was awful that they had to go through thinking they were capable of such horrible things, even for a moment, just because the truth was kept from them in some misguided attempt to protect them.

Belgirel was angry, but it wasn't at Cupid, not entirely. They were admittedly upset with her for lying to Belphegor, but they knew it wasn't entirely her fault. She was also a victim in this, and she was hurting. They were more mad at their family for forcing her into this role. Undoubtedly, they were using her connection to Belphegor to keep them stable all while making her lie to them because they were willing to believe in everything she told them. It wasn't fair to either of them. "No, you're right. There's no going back," they agreed. "You lied to them, and that's going to hurt more than the Void ever could." They kissed the top of her head. "But being unable to go back doesn't mean you can't go forward. It won't be the same, the pain might be unbearable, but there's still a chance for them. You still have time now to find a way to help them. It wasn't fair for you to lie to them, but you're also not being fair to them by thinking there's no hope for them. You're not giving Belphegor enough credit. The fact that they managed to handle the Void while not even knowing it existed. That takes a lot of strength. Maybe things will look grim, but it's not fair to them for you to just think they won't pull through this too. Who else in that world will believe in them if you don't?"

CUPID: She felt herself teetering on that old familiar ledge. Everyone was always concerned that she'd do something stupidly intimate to make herself fall, but really it was her guilt that would be the thing that shoved her over that ledge. What kind of angel of love was she if she was willing to do this to the person she loved the most? If she was willing to hurt them like this? She didn't hide the pain this time as it whipped across her body. She gripped onto Belgirel to try to work through the pain but it wasn't going away. She had to push away from them as the nausea took hold and she lost the contents of the days lunch. She felt better after the release, but then she looked down on the ground. The bile was as black as tar. It was the first sign of falling. She'd only ever worked herself up to this point once before when Michael first told her about the void. They were dancing in dangerous territory and she needed to pull herself back in.

Belgirel's arms were around her again now that they'd put two and two together from what Maze said before. They knew what the void had done to her without her saying it. "At the time we didn't know if losing Belphegor was a permanent thing or not," she replied numbly. Her voice felt far away even to her. "We tested a couple theories but..." she shook her head. "None of them were conclusive. The reapers couldn't hear Belphegor inside the Empty like they could hear the void. The void said that it could get me to Belphegor. I knew what it meant and I didn't care. I never got the chance to get Bells to understand that I loved them before they were gone. I just wanted one more chance. So, I broke the sigils that I trapped it in and I let it kill me," her voice was small as she admitted the truth. She knew it wouldn't come as a surprise to Gears that she'd gone that far, but it was still a massive thing on her list of stupid, impulsive transgressions.

"I do believe in them," she replied earnestly. She knew just how strong Belphegor was. It was easy for them to just give up even without knowing what was causing them to want to die all the time, but they never did. They kept fighting to live more so for her than for themselves. "I just don't know if I believe in myself anymore. I've been able to pull them back from a lot, Gears. But I am so entrenched in this, I am the core of this lie not because I wanted to be, but because I had to be. They'll be angry and they'll isolate and there will be no one that they can trust. The siblings aren't making it any better." Her sadness was now twisting toward anger. It was progress in a way. Anger wouldn't push her off the ledge like guilt would, and she had a lot of anger in her now.

"A lot of the ones who've found out about the void are treating them differently. Not so much Lucifer and Michael. They've known about it since the beginning. But Gabriel treats every meeting with Bells like he's just been assigned the task to keep them in check. And Levi..." her features became bitter. "He and Lucifer recently found out they were cursed too by God. It was a love curse. He fell head over heels for this woman and he all but forgot Bells. I broke the curse, which wasn't easy, and he ran off to hell a little after that so I couldn't ream him in." It was clear she was still furious about that. "Raphael knows and seems to want to help. As does Michael's girlfriend, Zatanna. She's a mage and she and my friend Sam are looking for a way to get rid of Belphegor's void. Sam's here which is why I need to find him. He's got his own void of sorts though so if we come across him, it might not be him."

"The other siblings don't know yet and if they're going to treat Belphegor the way those who have found out are treating them then I don't want them to know." She looked up at Belgirel. "In the future there's a term for what we've created. It's a clusterfuck. I believe in Belphegor and I will always believe in Belphegor. But after this they may never believe in us again. Is there anything worth living for when you can't trust anyone?" Belgirel was emotionally the stronger of the twins and even Cupid wasn't sure they'd want to continue living if they believed their Cupid and their siblings were not only capable of such deceit, but that they'd also carried it out too.

BELGIREL: They didn't fight Cupid as she pushed herself away. The sight of that sign was concerning, and Belgirel knew it well. They'd experienced the same symptoms when they'd first started to doubt their father even before they fell. They rubbed her back gently as she puked it out. Maybe they really shouldn't have urged her to talk about it. They just hadn't considered that she could've been going through this much when they'd persisted before, but they felt her pain as she explained. It was a terrible image. They'd lost Belphegor once already, but even then, they couldn't imagine going through what Cupid went through, losing both of them. How many people could a normal person lose in such horrible ways before breaking down completely. It was amazing that Cupid was still going. "Cupid," they sighed. They weren't exactly surprised, but they were a little disappointed that she thought death was worth that one chance to get Belphegor to understand. "There is no world where anything is worth you throwing your life away like that. You may be a love entity, but you're so much more than just your love for Belphegor. Promise me you'll never do anything like that again, please." They couldn't bear the thought of her doing something like that again, and they doubted Belphegor could either.

"But you're not believing enough in how much they believe in you," Belgirel corrected her. It wasn't just about how strong Belphegor was. It was about how strong Belphegor and Cupid were together. Belgirel could imagine how upset Belphegor would be, but they couldn't imagine a world where Belphegor was capable of giving up on Cupid completely. Even though she was deep in this, they were tied together, and Belgirel didn't think they knew how to let go. "Don't you think that if you just talked to them, they might understand why you did what you did? Can't you trust that even when upset with you, they'd still listen to you? They might not know they love you, but I do. I've seen it since we were kids, and that won't just go away. Even if you won't believe in yourself, they will. Even if they feel like you've wronged them, they won't be able to isolate from you for long." They paused, frowning once Cupid started talking about how their siblings were making things worse. Their jaw clenched, and the water from the pool started to bubble and boil as their anger grew. Cupid had an excuse. She'd been manipulated, but the others were their family, their brothers. What kind of family treated their sibling like a bomb or just a problem to be taken care of? What kind of family left their sibling alone when they were going through so much shit, when they thought they were possessed? But no, instead of helping Belphegor, they fawned over a girl and then ran off to hell when all their own problems were solved? What assholes. Belgirel wanted to tear them apart. They stood up. "You know what, we can come back to get your friends. Let's go kick their asses right now!"

CUPID: She was shaking now as her body tried to regain some sense of stability where there was none to be found. Her wings ached and her body was so tired from fighting the process, but she continued to fight against it regardless. She'd lost so much of herself already; that was evident to her when she'd met Belgirel's Cupid. She wasn't going to lose this last bit of who she was by falling. She looked away from them when they said her name. She could hear the disappointment in their voice. "I can't make that promise," she replied softly. She'd already made up her mind about what she'd do if the void consumed Belphegor. She would go into the empty and retrieve them. And there was only one way to get into the Empty. "But I can promise to put more effort into taking care of myself for the time being," she countered. She could keep that sort of promise at least. Hopefully. Maybe.

"Yeah, their belief in me," she said dryly. "The very thing the other Archangels bank on to solve all their problems when Belphegor starts asking questions they don't want to answer." She knew what Belgirel was trying to say. Belphegor's nature was to forgive and forget. Sometimes, they were more angelic than Cupid. Cupid held grudges and could be spiteful for a long time if she wanted to be. But even Cupid wondered if there were limits to how much they were willing to forgive. "Their belief in me only takes us so far, Gears. Especially since that belief has been weaponized against them and used as a catch all." Despite the cynicism she carried, a part of her wanted to believe that maybe Belphegor would hear her out. They might not forgive her ever, but maybe they would at least let her explain. Maybe in time they would allow her to make amends.

She felt Belgirel's anger mounting long before the bubbles started to appear in the water. At first she wasn't sure if it was them or her causing it, but a quick glance at them told her everything she needed to know. They were pissed at the others. She was surprised when they stood up and proclaimed they should go to her universe to kick their asses. "Gears," she stayed seated as she took their hand and gently tried to guide them back down. "If Belphegor sees you, it's over. Either your world will lose you because you'll want to stay or my world will lose you all over again. We can't tear that wound open again." Separating from Gears at the end of this was going to be hard enough for Cupid. She didn't want Belphegor to go through that too. She could give a fuck all how the others felt about it, but she knew how Bells would feel. "The others will get what's coming to them once they're brave enough to face me again," she replied. Belgirel's Cupid might've been soft but it was clear Cupid herself (although broken and worn out) was a threat of her own. They could trust that she wasn't going to let the others skate by with this kind of behavior.

BELGIREL: The thought that Cupid couldn't keep a promise like that hurt. It not only meant that she didn't think she could live without Belphegor, but it also meant that she thought losing Belphegor was going to be inevitable. Belgirel couldn't consider it like that. They'd lost Belphegor once, and the thought that it would happen again somewhere else was impossible to them. It couldn't happen. It wouldn't be right, and they didn't want to believe it. The idea of it along with the fact that Cupid couldn't promise that brought tears to their eyes. "Okay. I think Belphegor would appreciate that too."

"I'm not talking about using their belief in you as a tool, Cupid. I'm not like the others from your universe. I'm not talking about them believing in your words as gospel. They believe in who you are and what you represent. I have to believe that deep down, they'll understand you for what you've done and the guilt that you carry because of it. You're not a bad person, but you're not perfect. Not all of it will be on you. It shouldn't be anyways, but you'll have to trust that they can get through this without you for a while too. They might feel like they're alone, and the Void will manipulate that. Just . . ." they threw their hands up, unsure what to say. "I don't know, Cupid. I don't have all the answers. Just don't give up on them. They'll need you once they're able to let you back in."

They wanted to leave right now, to right the wrongs that had been done to their twin, but Cupid was right. They might've been able to take her home when the time came, but they couldn't risk seeing anyone. It would be too much for all of them. They thought the ones who weren't being great to Belphegor deserved the heartbreak, but Belphegor didn't. They couldn't go through it again either. "Punch them in the gut for me then," they compromised before sitting back down beside her. "And make sure they know it's from me."

CUPID: Her eyes softened when she saw the disappointment in their features. She didn't want to make a promise to them that she couldn't keep and she didn't want to lie to them. She'd done enough lying to last a lifetime. She squeezed their hand to let them know that she would be okay. "I'll start today, then. You need rest and I need to recover." She couldn't fly back to the ship tonight. Her body was too sore and her heart was too heavy. "Can we stay here tonight and fly back in the morning?" she asked gently.

She didn't necessarily believe them when they said she wasn't a bad person. And even if she wasn't, neither were they or Belphegor and they'd still fallen. If Cupid didn't risk losing every aspect of herself and the world, she would've fallen with them too. She could feel their frustration and their hopelessness when words failed to provide her comfort, but they weren't failing. She did feel better now that she'd told them everything she'd been holding back. "I know you don't have the answers, Gears. No one does." That was the horrible thing about all of this. No one knew how it was going to go or what Belphegor would do or say when they found out the truth. "I won't give up on them or myself," she promised. The only way Cupid would be lost was if she knew for sure Belphegor was consumed. And even then she wouldn't go down without a fight. She would search for them and bring them back, just as Orpheus had gone in search of Eurydice. There was one thing the void always underestimated and it was her love for Belphegor and their love in return. She would show them, both the void and Belphegor, the power of that love.

She was relieved when Belgirel relented and took a seat. She could see they were still seething about it all, but they knew it would be too dangerous for them to stay too long in her timeline. Just bringing her back would be hard enough. She nodded firmly when they asked her to punch each of them in the gut. "It won't hurt as much," she didn't have the strength of an Archangel, "but, you know, the one benefit of having to break a God curse was that I was given access to restricted parts of the library and access to more than a few divine weapons that I could siphon power from. Including..." she reclined back on the makeshift bed of blankets and gave them a lazy smile. "Those old enchanted brass knuckles you thought you lost."

BELGIREL: Her reassurance didn't so as much for Belgirel as she might've wanted it to. They were glad that she'd do more to take care of herself, but that didn't seem like much when she was so willing to die. "Technically, I don't need rest," they pointed out. They could survive with or without it, but as the Prince of Sloth, they did get more power from it. "You better be doing more than just sleeping when you get back home, but yeah, we can. I've got plenty of blankets. Do you want me to make you your own space to sleep or . . ?" She wasn't their Cupid. She was still in love with their twin, and they didn't know if she might've been uncomfortable sleeping next to them.

"I want to." Desperately, they wanted to be able to tell Cupid everything she needed to hear, and they felt at a loss when they couldn't do that. "Is that a promise?" they asked. They smirked as if it were a joke, but they needed to hear that she wouldn't give up on this. She needed to keep fighting just as much as Belphegor did.

"Yeah, well, I'll take what I can get." They hoped it would hurt more with them just knowing they specifically wanted Cupid to do that for them. They were surprised to hear that Cupid was allowed into the restricted sections. Even they'd been told to stay out of some of those areas when they were younger. Now, they couldn't even get into Heaven, so the whole library was one big restricted section that they could no longer sneak into. They brightened when she mentioned their brass knuckles. "You found them?!" they gasped.

CUPID: "Technically none of us need to, but it is nice to shut off for a while," she pointed out. She'd overloaded them and her today both with bounty hunting for her people and unloading a mess of emotions just now. She felt her cheeks get hot when they asked her where she wanted to sleep. Don't make this weird, Cupid, she warned herself. "I said needed to recover, not sleep," she replied gently. "I can't sleep...not without dreaming I'm in the Empty again. I used to have a charm that caught the bad dreams, but it's back in my universe," she explained. "So, just come lay beside me and tell me about your universe..." they could talk until Belgirel got tired and drifted to sleep or until the sun came up and they were ready to go back to the ship.

"It helps just to have someone who'll listen," she replied. "I usually talk to Bells about these things, but it's the one thing I can't talk to them about." Although Belgirel couldn't fix what happened in Cupid's universe, it was nice to just talk to someone about it who understood and cared about Bells on the same level that she did. "It's a promise," she nodded in agreement. She didn't necessarily think they'd like the length she was willing to go to to keep that promise but hopefully she would never have to use the last ditch effort she'd concocted in her head to save Bells. Hopefully, Belgirel was right in their assessment that Belphegor would come around with time. Either way, one thing was true. Whether it was waiting for Bells to be ready to talk to her again, or going into the empty to retrieve them, Cupid would never give up on Belphegor. Ever.

"I did," she smiled brightly. It was perhaps her first genuine, bright smile since the dreadful topic of her universe had come up. "I swiped it off the table after we were done with one of the siphoning rituals. They'll definitely get the message that it's from you alright."

BELGIREL: "It is." Belgirel yawned. Just the thought of it made them feel sleepy, but they were awake enough to see the way Cupid's face turned red. They chuckled a little. "I wasn't suggesting we sleep together in that way, you know. . . . unless you want to." They winked at her playfully, not really meaning it. They might've been attracted to her, but she wasn't their Cupid, and they weren't her Belphegor. They laid down on the pile of blankets and pulled her towards them. "I've got a lot of hands. Maybe I can catch all the bad dreams for you. I don't know if they ever told you this, but back during the war, Belphegor had nightmares all the time. They were scared, hated the fighting, hated being away from you even more. Not everyone slept back then since there was no need to but Belphegor liked sleeping at first because they could dream of happier times. Then, they started turning into nightmares. I told them that I'd keep the nightmares away while they slept." They went quiet for a minute, thinking deeper about those times without describing them to Cupid. It was a fond memory, but it had sad attachments.

"Maybe it's something you can talk to me about even when you go home. I know I'm dead there, but I imagine I have a grave. Maybe you can just talk to me there. Is it that massive canyon in your world like it is for Belphegor here?" They imagined it had to be. They nodded as she made her promise. That was the kind of promise they'd needed from her most.

"That's great!" they laughed. "Where were they? Maybe I can get my Cupid to find a way to get them back to me too."

CUPID: She groaned and buried her face in the blankets when they teased her. She didn't want them to see her face turn an even brighter shade of red and she didn't want to know what their aura looked like right now. "You're deplorable and I love you for it," she laughed and peered up from underneath the blankets slightly. She rested her head on their shoulder as they told her an old war story. Belphegor still had nightmares in her universe only they didn't have their twin this time, and Cupid didn't have enough hands. She could hear the soft pain in Belgirel's voice as they spoke of Belphegor. She knew her Bells felt guilt over Belgirel's death and she imagined Belgirel felt the same. "I think my Belphegor will sleep better now knowing that somewhere out there, there is a Belgirel and they are well," she replied gently. Belphegor would no doubt want to find Gears, but she could hold them back from searching.

"And for what it's worth..." she wanted to provide that same comfort to Belgirel and let them know that their twin is okay too. "My world isn't all bad. Michael and Bells are making amends. Michael is training them both to distract Bells from their thoughts and to prepare them for what happens next. They aren't always thrilled about training, but deep down I think they like spending that time with him. They managed to catch him off guard once when they crashed his date too," she smiled. Bells loved telling that story.

"I talk to you all the time," she smiled. "Mostly to complain, but it's nice to have you talk back for once." It felt good to have someone to be angry and sad with. "There is," she nodded. "It's called the Grand Canyon." It was beautiful and devastating and vast just like their sadness. Maybe a visit out west will help both her and Bells after this. She knew Bells would be happy she got to see Belgirel one more time, but they'd also be sad for themself. Cupid would be sad too, but she knew how to package her grief away when she had to. "Bells and I will go out there to see you when I get back to my universe," she promised them.

She smiled when they asked where their weapons were. "Armory B, across from Uriel's old office. You should've seen his face when I was given access to certain places," she laughed. "They told him I was doing a research project on love. The room is sigil warded, but I remember the counter-sigils. I can show her."

BELGIREL: They laughed as she teased them. "You're only saying that because you haven't been around me in a while," they joked. They knew that wasn't really why, but it was easier to joke about why she hadn't been around them in a while than addressing that directly. "But I love you too." They kissed her forehead. "Though I guess that's kinda obvious since I married you in my universe." They twisted the wedding band on her finger, lifting it up to show it to her. "And what about you? Can you sleep better if I'm here to catch your bad dreams? You deserve to get sleep too. Most of the time bad dreams happen when we don't feel safe, emotionally or physically. Do you feel safe with me, Cupid?"

Belgirel smiled a little as Cupid talked about Belphegor and Michael. It was good to know that Belphegor was getting some of their family back. Belgirel themself had been less forgiving towards heaven, and it was hard to imagine being so close to Michael again. Belphegor, on the other hand, had just wanted their family back during the war. They were glad they could have it. "They definitely would hate that." Belgirel laughed, imagining just how much Hell they were putting Michael through to get them to train. "Really? Go Figs! They're never gonna let him live that down." They laughed again.

"I appreciate it, complaining or not." They nudged her with their shoulder. "I think the settlers here found ours about a century or so ago, but they hadn't named it yet. It's just a big canyon. They don't know what it really means." It was both sad and good in that way. The humans saw it as something beautiful, which it was, but it was also a reminder of what they'd lost to Belgirel and the other archangels. "Just let them know I love them when you do."

Belgirel grinned at her information. They couldn't get there themself, but Cupid could. "Uriel's dead here. I lost it after he killed Belphegor, so I killed him. Lost two siblings that day." They were a lot less sad about one of them.

CUPID: "That's on you for having the audacity to die and leave me. It's rude," she sniffled, but smiled when they assured her that they loved her too. The blush returned to her cheeks when he mentioned they'd gotten married in this universe. She hadn't noticed the wedding band on their hand until now. Her fingers lightly traced around it and watched the light bounce off of the ring before smiling up at them. "I'm happy for you, Gears. Bells would be too, both yours and mine." Belgirel missed their twin, but Belgirel's life was also able to move forward. It's what Belphegor would've wanted for Gears. The one silver lining in all of this was that she would be able to tell Belphegor that their twin was okay. "I do feel safe with you," she nodded. Belgirel felt like a warm blanket. There was so much comfort in their presence, but there was also so much fear inside Cupid. She trusted Gears would wake her if she had a nightmare but it was a vulnerable position to be in and she already felt as naked as she could get without actually taking her clothes off. "If I drift off to sleep, I trust you to keep me safe," she nodded. She wasn't going to force sleep, but she at least felt safer to sleep with them there.

"They try to get out of it just about ever week," Cupid grinned, "But you know Michael. He doesn't let up. And you're absolutely right. Belphegor will never let him live that one down, but I don't think Michael minds too much. Old age seems to have mellowed him out." She smiled up at them as they nudged her. "I guess humanity just wasn't creative when they tried to name it. There's still time to claim a name for it in your universe though. Bell Canyon has a nice ring to it." A part of her was glad to hear Uriel wasn't here to bother Begirel anymore. "Man, a universe without a Uriel. You really do have it all," she teased.

BELGIREL: "In my defense, I haven't died yet, unlike one of us apparently. If I did die, I'm sure I'd have a good reason for it." They had an idea of what reason that might have been. Their universes seemed to parallel in a lot of ways, even if hers was ahead of theirs. Belgirel knew that Belphegor had died protecting Cupid. It probably was the same for both of them, but they weren't going to put that on Cupid now. She had enough on her shoulders as it was. They let their arm rest down once Cupid got to look at their ring. "Yeah." They spoke softly, pain in their voice as they thought about their twin more. "I hope you two get their soon. You've got a lot to work through, but you deserve it." Belgirel smiled when Cupid said she felt safe. They pulled her closer. "I will. I wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to you." He kissed the top of her head.

"That sounds right." Belgirel laughed. "It's hard to imagine Michael like that anymore. I mainly just avoid him altogether if I can. Maybe I can start giving him a harder time like Figs is, get him to that exhausted old man stage." He closed his eyes as Cupid kept talking. "Bell Canyon. I like it." He smiled softly as his head rested next to hers. He was starting to drift off, but he was awake enough to add in. "Everything . . . except Belphegor." He fell asleep completely soon after that.

CUPID: “Well, then let my mistakes be a lesson. There is no good reason for dying.” She didn’t parade around as if what she did was okay. She knew she’d hurt herself and Belphegor in the process. She didn’t want Gears to ever go through that. At least now she could warn them. She could hear the sadness in his voice as he remembered Belphegor. He needed reassures as much as she did. “We will,” she promised him, although she wasn’t nearly as sure of herself as he was. “Maybe I’ll invite you to the wedding if you promise to behave yourself,” she smiled. She held him as he pulled her close and reassured her that he wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to her.

“Just give him time,” she encouraged. “Maybe find him a soul mate. That’ll wear him down. Love always makes us better people. And I’m sure your Cupid likes hopeless projects as much as I do.” Maybe they’d be more successful at finding Michael love than she was at getting Maze to admit she loved Lucifer. She yawned as she heard the tiredness in Belgirel’s voice. “There’s got to be at least one universe where we’re all still together,” she assured him. Now that universe really had it all. She listened as his breathing calmed and watched as his chest rose and fell softly and he drifted to sleep. She didn’t drift immediately herself. She was afraid not only of the bad dreams but also the possibility that she’d wake up tomorrow and this would all have been a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time she dreamt she got to talk to Belgirel again. She gently took his hand in hers and held it for reassurance. Soon after that, she was asleep too.

#━━ ♡ love lifts us up where we belong! all you need is love [ replies ]#━━ ♡ and so i named the stars after every favorite memory of you [ belgirel ]#━━ ♡ thanks for putting up with me [ maze ]#belgirel: discords #maze: discords #discord

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