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dickgraysonwayne · 7 months ago

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Ao3

Summary: Agent 37 seems familiar, but nah…he couldn’t be.

@dickgraysonweek 2024, Day 5: Dick (Helen) of Troy | Batfam Meets Agent 37 | Polyamory

Jason fucking hates Tuesdays.

Fuckin’ Tuesdays, he stews, kicking a can at his feet. Fuckin’ Batman. Fuckin’ drug dealers. Fuckin’…

“Hey,” Tim says, adjusting his baseball cap over his forehead. “Are you blaming Tuesdays again?”

“No,” Jason grunts. He doesn’t make eye contact. “Aren’t you annoyed, though? That we had to come all the way here…”

Tim shrugs, all smarmy-like. “Hey,” He says. “I get to miss school this way, so. I’m not too bothered.”

“But,” And Jason gestures around the alley they’re in. The mist hands low over his face, leaving him with a permanent vaguely damp feeling. “We’re not even in Gotham.”

“So?” Tim says. “I like travel. Anyway, it’s not even that different from Gotham…”

“We’re not even in the country anymore!” Jason hefts his backpack on his shoulder, irritation growing.

“Dude,” Tim says, summarily unimpressed. “What’s with you? So we do a little trip to the UK to investigate some drug operation Scarecrow’s running. What’s wrong with that?”

“I just…” Jason’s face screws up, pushing back at the memories in his head: the heat, the exhaustion, the pain. “I…I don’t like travel. That’s all.”

Tim sighs. “Well,” He says. “You better pull yourself together. Unless you wanna tell Babs you’d rather come back home and not do the mission she asked you to do? Or Bruce?”

“No need to go that far,” Jason mutters

“And,” Tim says. “Do you want to take shit from Damian about not being able to handle a ‘simple fact finding mission’ that even a ‘fool’ could complete?”

“That one,” Jason says, shrugging. “I don’t particularly care about.”

“Well, I do,” Tim says. He looks through the alleyway grimly before pushing forward. “So let’s go. The sooner we’re done, the sooner we come back anyway. So. We headed in the right direction?”

Japan glances back down at the phone in his hand. “Yeah,” He says. “Building should be showing up soon. It’s a bakery, top floor.”

Tim nods. “Okay then,” He says. “Plan confirmed?”

“Reconnaissance,” Jason drones out. “Get a sense of the operation and get out. Yeah. I know.”

“No tipping them off,” Tim says sternly. Jason hears a tinge of Bruce-inspired gravitas in his tone. It’s not quite as effective in a just-hit-puberty vocal range. “I mean, we can probably develop something to counteract the drug now, but still…don’t risk it.”

Jason grins. “Aye aye, Captain.”

He can practically feel Tim’s glowering frown. “Hey,” He says. “Why do you always—” He pauses. “Oh. Hear that?”

“Oh, yes,” Jason says, the feeling of being watched prickling over his back. “Think they’ll attack?”

“Well,” Tim says. “They’re still following, so.”

Jason nods. “Yeah,” He says. “Get ready..”

He barely has time to pull out a weapon before all hell breaks loose.

“I. Fucking. Hate. Tuesdays!”

Jason rolls, dodging a sword (a sword?) that clangs heavily against the cobblestones of the alleyway.

He looks up. A veritable gang of people seem to have rolled up on them in the last couple minutes, all outfitted in the same dark outfit and face covering.

They’d been ready for them. This is an ambush.

“Stop it with the Tuesday thing already,” Tim says, whacking a man around the head with his staff. “It’s obnoxious at this point.”

“You’re obnoxious at this point,” Jason kicks another man in the chest, then zaps someone else with an escrima stick. “You know what else is obnoxious? Not having a fucking gun.”

“I guess you—oomph—missed the point of a covert operation,” Tim says, staggering back at an attack, but recovering quickly.

Jason, about to go help him, is stopped by three attacking him at once. “This look covert to you?” He asks, zapping at someone else. “And anyway…shit!”

There’s too many people. It’s taking all his concentration to stay alive, stay uninjured, and he senses more than sees someone start to make his way around them, to the vulnerability of his back.

Jason grits his teeth, doing a final large sweep before turning back. “No you don’t—”

But he turns to see a nozzle pointed directly at his face, and stumbles back automatically. “Shit..”

He flips through days worth of research in his head substance distribution memory issues side effects no treatment yet magic involved and holds his breath, swearing internally…

A crossbow bolt suddenly embeds itself in the man’s chest, who gives a kind of choked gasp, shudders, then collapses onto the damp cobblestones, twitching a couple times before going still.

Jason doesn’t have time to react. He whirls back around, lifting a stick to protect himself from a blow to his head. Tim is standing nearby, still fighting, still upright.

He sees another man aim a knife at Tim from behind, then draws in a breath to warn him, before…

A gunshot rings through the air, and the man screams, clutching at his bloody hand and dropping to his knees.

Guns? Jason thinks frantically. He dodges a blow to the head, feeling weirdly vindicated. He draws an arm back, ready to zap another person, before—

A large figure runs in from the side, tackling the person in front of him and taking him both to the ground. They collapse into the shadows, tussling in a smaller alleyway to the side.

“What—”

Jason whirls around back to Tim, and sees someone else jump into the fray next to him. It’s a woman this time: face uncovered, clothing casual, and punches lethal.

Who the hell…

He feels something sting at his shin. His leg buckles, and he swears as he stumbles to his knees, trying to find his bearings.

The sticks drop from his hands and roll, and he dives frantically to try to grab them back. He looks up to see another nozzle aimed at his face, and…

Time slows down. Jason sees the finger on the nozzle tighten, then push, and he knows that there’s no stopping it, that he won’t have time to move backwards or to the side…

Suddenly, he’s looking at a gray t shirt covering a broad back, and it’s so unexpected that he thinks there’s something wrong with his sight at first. Instead, he hears the nozzle being deployed and then a cough, and he knows that it isn’t coming from him, so…

A woman’s voice cries out “You idiot!”

The back in front of him bends, then falls, revealing the startled eyes of the masked man that Jason had been staring at earlier, still holding the spray bottle. This snaps Jason back into movement, and he picks the sticks back up and delivers a hard thwack to the man’s head.

He hears the thrmmm sound of another crossbow bolt, then keeps fighting, mind whirling. He notices almost instantly that the crowd seems to have thinned out, but he doesn’t know if that means that they won or that they lost.

It feels like minutes, but the alleyway empties out, save for a few of the men that they had taken down. The woman with the crossbow stows it away then runs, falling to her knees in front of Jason, pulling at the downed man in front of him.

Tim follows close behind, looking tired, but cautious. Jason nods at him, then waits for Tim’s answering nod.

“So,” Jason says eyeing the duo in front of them. “You think they bulk ordered all those ninja outfits or did they have them laying around?”

Tim gives a tired laugh. “Maybe they got them from the Minion Coat Factory,” He suggests,

“Not your best work,” Jason comments, before the woman gives a loud sigh.

“You idiot,” The woman hisses again to the downed man. She pulls at the man on the ground, who slowly goes upright, head bowed. “What are you doing?”

The man looks up. Jason literally feels the color drain from his face.

“Dick?”

Tim stops in his tracks at the word, drawing a quick, choked breath.

Dick looks him in the eye (it’s him oh my god it’s him it’s him it’s him), and then, with a slight air of confusion, says:

“Who?”

Jason’s blood freezes in his veins. “That’s…” His kind is whirring in all sorts of different directions, not knowing where to stop, and how. “That’s…that’s you. That’s you, right? It’s you?”

Dick’s (maybe?) eyebrows furrow. “I…” He says. “No. I’m…” He looks up at the woman with him, who gives him a curious stare. “Who are these people? Do we know them?”

“No,” The woman says, giving him a furtive look. “What’s wrong with you?”

It’s at this point that something in Jason snaps.

He surges forward, grabbing Dick by the shoulders and pulling him close. He stares intently into his face. “It’s you, isn’t it? It’s you. It looks like you. What happened? How is it you?”

Dick’s startled eyes darken quickly. A hand quickly latched onto his wrists and bodily throw him off. “Get off me,” Dick says, voice dangerous. “Don’t do that again.”

“Stop being a dick,” Jason yells, trying to get closer. “What was it? Lazarus Pit? Did it make you forget or something? Did it—”

A hand yank at his shoulder, pulls him back. He startles, looks down and Tim, white-faced and tight lipped, holding onto him for dear life.

“Stop,” Tim says, and it comes out quiet. “This is…look, we don’t know what’s going on, okay? But we need to find out. Obviously.”

Here, the woman with Dick steps in. “We all need to calm down,” She says. “Look. I’ll introduce myself, okay? My colleague,” and here she points at Dick (it’s him!) “And I represent a global organization that specializes in, hm, covert operations, let’s say. I shouldn’t be telling you any of this at all, but,” And here she gives him a searching look. “I have a feeling you would have found out about us either way.”

“I don’t really give a shit,” Jason begins, but Tim squeezes his shoulder tighter.

“Let her continue,” He says quietly. His eyes are fixed on Dick, and his hand is trembling.

“There’s not much more than that, really,” The woman says. “You can refer to me as Matron, and this,” She gestures at Dick. “Introduce yourself.”

Dick nods. “I’m Agent 37,” He says. “I would say pleased to meet you, but…”

“Yes, okay, fine,” Jason says, impatient. “Let me guess. You woke up somewhere and were told that you were this agent guy at this organization and that you’ve always been there, and you rolled with that, right?”

“Hey,” The woman protests, but Dick waves her down.

“No,” Dick says. “That’s incorrect, actually. I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever been Agent 37. That’s just who I am.”

Jason’s eyebrows raise. “Oh yeah?” He says. “Can you tell me anything about your childhood?”

“I…” Dick’s voice trails off. “Why would I tell you that? I don’t know you.”

“Come on,” Jason says. “You very clearly don’t remember a childhood. So what does that tell you? Either you popped into existence as an adult or you’ve been brainwashed in some way. And, since you were fucking dead, my guess would be on a Lazarus Pit.”

“Dead?” Dick asks.

“What the hell is a Lazarus Pit?” Matron says at the same time.

“Fuck it,” Jason says. He grabs at Dick’s arm again. “Come on. Let’s take you home, and we can try to get your memory back. And then when you remember us we can talk for real instead of going in circles like this.”

Dick yanks his arm back again. “I don’t know you!”

“Oh yeah?” Jason says, voice rising. “Then why did you—”

“Let’s talk for a sec,” Tim interrupts, pulling him off to the side. “Stay there, please.”

“What are you doing?” Jason hisses as he’s dragged off. “That’s Dick. You know? Your brother? The one that’s dead? That brother? How are you not…how are you not reacting to this?”

“We don’t know that it’s him,” Tim says, and his voice cracks on the word. “We can’t…we can’t be sure until we can confirm it. And I…I don’t want to say that until…”

Oh. Jason feels kind of bad for snapping. “Hey,” He says. “I get it. But, come on. That’s Dick. It’s very clearly him. And he’s alive and he needs a kick in the ass to remember who he is. And we’re the only ones who can help him.”

Tim sniffs. “Yeah,” He says. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right,” Jason says. “Look. This is good news. He’s alive! We just need to get all of him back is all. And this isn’t our first go around with resurrection, right?”

Tim nods.

“Excellent,” Jason turns back to the two agents. “Now. As I was saying. If you didn’t know us, why did you jump in and save us from those guys? There’s no reason to do that for completely random strangers. Especially not for jumping in front of someone who was about to—”

He cuts himself off. “Oh. Hold on. You got hit by…oh my god. Oh we’re so stupid.”

“Oh,” The Matron says, snapping her fingers. “You’re right! The spray. Or whatever that was. That’s probably what’s going on here.”

“What spray?” Tim asks, eyes narrowed.

“I don’t feel any different,” Dick says, but Jason ignores him.

“Dick got sprayed by something during the fight,” He explains to Tim. “And…hey, remember what we came here for? Scarcrow’s whole operation?”

Tim stares at him for a second before understanding fills his gaze. It’s a second longer than it would normally take. “Oh!” He says. And then, quietly, again, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jason says grimly. He turns to the other two. “We came here to investigate a drug operation, with some sort of magic involved—it’s a long story. The drugs have a…memory issues side effect. And since Dick here lost his memories after getting hit, then—”

“He must’ve ingested the drug,” Matron continues. Her eyes tighten. “Amateur hour, 37. How do you let yourself get hit like that?”

“I didn’t!” Dick protest. “I…” His eyes glaze over. “I…”

Tim interrupts him. “The memory loss seems targeted,” He says thoughtfully. “His whole sense of self is gone, but he still seems to be able to function like he normally does. He has a persona left, but only his primary identity is gone. This is new, we should look into this more.”

“And get you back,” Jason says, staring Dick down.

“And get him back,” Tim agrees. He gestures towards them. “We probably have a formula that’ll be helpful here, to counteract the drug. And that thing Constantine gave us…Anyway, if you’ll all come with me, we can take you back home and—”

Dick shakes his head, speaking before Tim’s even done. “I can’t leave,” He says. “I have work to do here. I can’t leave.”

“You have to,” Jason cuts in. “You need to get your memory back, don’t you? And then, maybe…” His voice trails off. “We can find out what happened to you.”

“He’s not leaving,” Matron cuts in. “We have resources here you can use. A lab, everything. We’ll take you to HQ: we need the real 37 back, so consider yourselves hired. On a temporary basis.”

“No,” Tim says, voice firm. “All our research…we have everything set up at our base. We can take it from here.”

Dick shakes his head. “I’m not going,” He repeats and man does that stubborn expression look familiar. Jason had thought he was never going to see it again. “I don’t know you.”

Tim looks at Jason helplessly.

Jason sighs. Fucking Tuesdays. “Fine,” she says shortly, then tilts his head to Tim. “You got the folder with all the info? And all the solutions and stuff?”

Tim grits his teeth. “Yeah,” He says. “I do. But—”

“We kinda don’t have a choice, here,” Jason says. He glances at the two agents again. “Fine. Lead the way. We’ll go to your HQ.”

“Right,” Matron grabs Dick��s hand, helping to pull him to his feet. “Follow us. 37, you remember the way?”

Dick nods. “Yeah,” He says, then sets off without another word.

Jason swears under his breath, then rushes to follow, Tim right next to him.

It doesn’t take long before Tim breaks.

Jason had known it was coming, had seen it in the twitching of his fingers and the telltale furrow of his brow, so he just waits.

He doesn’t want long before he feels him elbow his arm. “Jason,” Tim hisses, clearly trying to remain out of earshot. “We have a problem.”

“You think?” Jason says, eyebrows raised. “What could’ve clued you into that idea? What, with the drug ninjas and resurrected amnesiac brother?”

“Shut up,” Tim mutters. “Anyway. We probably blew the mission. I’d guess the drug operation’s packing up and leaving as we speak.”

Jason sighs. “Get ready for that earful from Damian.”

“You said you didn’t care about that!”

Jason shrugs. “I lied. He’s a tiny little shrimp and his royal shrimpiness gets soooo smug when he’s right.”

“Yeah,” Tim says, but his heart is clearly not into it. “I guess so.”

Jason waits a little more.

“It’s just that,” Tim begins, voice hesitant. “Dick…he got hit by the memory spray thing right? And he got hit because he was saving us, right?”

Jason nods. “He stepped in front of me,” He says. His throat tightens. “He took the hit.”

“So,” Tim says. “He knew to do that. He knew who we were, before he got sprayed. So…he was alive this whole time. Here. And…and we thought he was dead.”

Jason sits with that for a while. A spike of anger and confusion pools up in his head.

“We thought he was dead,” Jason repeats. “And he’s alive. And…and we don’t know why…”

“But he still…” Tim swallows. “He must’ve known. What that would do. And…and he still did it. Why?”

Jason grits his teeth. He stares at the back of Dick’s head. “We’ll find out soon enough,” He says.

A sign in the distance catches his eye. He squints. “Does that say girls’ school?”

“Welcome,” Matron says, sweeping an arm out at the entrance. “To HQ.”

Jason eyes the building, skeptical. “Girls’ school?” He repeats.

Matron shrugs, smiling. “The children are our future, and all that,” She says.

Jason waits for Dick to chime in, make a lame joke, continue the song lyrics…

But he just stands there, face blank, waiting.

Matron gives him a look. “Wow,” She says. “You’re really not yourself, huh?”

“Yeah, like we’ve been saying,” Jason says, a little irritated by her overfamiliarty. “So can we speed this up already?”

“Jason,” Tim hisses, sounding embarrassed.

Matron shrugs. “I’ve had worse,” She says. She leads them through hallways, the sounds of laughing women echoing in the distance. “I just need to take you around—ah. Here we go.”

She stops outside a door with ROOM 84 emblazoned on a large sign stuck to it. She creaks it open then peers in furtively before ushering them in “Come on,” She says.

Dick goes in robotically, without comment. Jason follows, seeing a pretty impressive and fully equipped lab on the inside.

“Huh,” Jason says, looking around. “Nice setup you have here.”

Dick, finally, speaks up. “Are you sure about this?” He asks Matron, with only a hint of doubt in his voice.

“Yes,” Matron says. “We gotta get you back to how you were. And, you know,” She gives him a significant look. “I’m going to need you fully with me for what’s coming.”

Dick’s face clears up. “Ah. Right.”

“You don’t have much time,” She says, backing up towards the door. “Try to get it done quick. I’ll keep watch. Good luck.” She nods, then snaps the door shut.

Tim instantly leaps into work, pulling out his file and starting to decipher it. “I’ll need a while,” Is all he says, before his focus narrows and he zones in on the problem in front of him.

Jason sinks into a straight backed chair. “All we can do is wait,” He feels compelled to tell Dick. “I’m gonna nap, I think.”

Dick’s face is blank. Disturbingly so. He nods.

It disturbs Japan so much that he wants to try to wipe it off. “What do I call you?” He asks him. “Agent? 37? Full name? What?”

A bit of emotion leaks back into Dick’s face. “Agent 37 is fine,” He says. He falls silent again.

“So,” Jason says, trying to goad out the emotion again. “What do you like to do? You have any hobbies, anything like that?”

Dick stays carefully blank. “Not particularly,” He says. “I’m too busy for that.”

“Doing what?”

“Top secret,” Dick replies. “Can’t tell you.”

“Then why were we okay to be let in here?” Jason asks. “You sure didn’t put up much of a fight to take us right into the heart of your operation.”

Dick shrugs. “Matron made that call,” He says. “I followed her lead.”

“Yeah,” Jason says. “But that wasn’t very international man of mystery of you, was it? What do you think that means?”

Dick frowns a little. “Can’t say it means anything,” He says.

Well. He’s just as frustrating without his memories as he is with them. “Then why are you still talking to me?” Jason demands. “What do you gain? Is that what you’re drawn to do? Have you thought about why that is?”

“You’re very angry,” Dick says, looking a little curious now. “Why?”

“Don’t try that on me,” Jason says. “I know you. That won’t work. And anyway, I’m not angry. I just want answers.”

“And I can’t give them to you,” Dick pins him with a searching gaze. “Look. I know it sounds…illogical, but I think you may be right. Maybe I am the guy you say I am, and the gaps in my memory hold the person you’re looking for. But I’m not that guy right now. And I can’t tell you what you want to hear.”

Jason laughs disbelievingly. “You sure about that?” He asks. “You sure sound like him right now.”

“Maybe,” Dick says. “But I’m not him. I’m Agent 37. You’re going to have to wait for this other guy to come back.”

“Hey,”

They both turn. Tun stands there, a glass bottle in his hand. “It’s done. It was mostly done anyway, because of the magic involved, I just added the—never mind. It’s done. You can take it.”

Dick stands up, slowly taking the bottle from Tim’s hand. Tim doesn’t make eye contact, and steps over to Jason’s side as soon as the bottle leaves his possession.

That…that definitely seems like a problem.

“So?” Jason asks. “You ready for the other guy to come back?”

“I…” Dick says. He pushes, drawing in a deep breath.

Jason waits, heart pounding.

Dick breathes out slowly, then says “Okay.”

“What,” Jason says, disbelieving. “Just like that?”

“I guess I trust you,” Dick says. Before Jason can reply, he downs the liquid in one swallow.

Jason waits.

Time ticks by, and Dick just sits there, eyes screwed shut.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jason whispers to Tim, eyeing Dick critically.

Tim is so tense he’s about to snap in half. “It probably tastes gross,” He says. “Give it a second. It’ll work. I’m sure it’ll work. Give it a second.”

Jason waits a second. And then another. And then another.

When Dick opens his eyes again, alive, teary, scared, Jason knows. He knows.

He stands up.

“Dick?” Tim asks, voice a tad wobbly. “You back?”

Dick takes a shuddering breath. “Hi guys,” he croaks out. “Long time no see.”

Tim lets out a soft oh noise, then runs toward Dick is one quick motion. He slams into his torso, almost knocking him backward. He wraps Dick in a tight hug, face mashed into the gray t shirt. “You’re alive,” Tim says, voice teary. “You’re…you’re here.”

Dick wraps his arms around Tim, squeezing just as tight. “Yeah,” He says, choked. “I guess I am.”

There’s a part of Jason that wants to join them, to give in to the need to give a hug, to allow a few tears to fall, to let go of that weight on his shoulders.

There’s a bigger part, though, that’s too full of rage to do much of anything else.

Jason crosses his arms. “So,” He says, voice deceptively calm. “Can you explain how you’re alive? When we all saw you die? And why, if you were alive this whole time, you’re here instead?”

Tim freezes, then slowly lets go of Dick, backing up next to Jason.

Dick’s face falls into a devastated expression. He stays silent.

“Dick?” Tim says. His voice is quiet, confused. “Can you answer his question?”

Dick audibly swallows. “I…” He says. “Look. I’m still a little out of it because I just got all my memories back, so—”

“Excuse,” Jason says shortly. “You have your memories back? That means you have your reasons back too. So. Explain.”

Dick sighs. “Look,” He says. “I didn’t want to. I promise you, I didn’t want to. And…and I wanted you to know I was okay. But…I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Jason gives a disbelieving laugh. “That’s barely an explanation,” He says. “Total bullshit, to be honest. Did you even die? Or was that a lie too?”

Dick’s voice softens. “No. That was real. It’s just…I didn’t stay that way. Obviously.”

“Obviously?” Jason says, eyebrows raising. “That’s what you have to say right now? Unbelievable.”

Dick raises his hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean it that way,” He says. “I promise. I…I really am sorry, it’s just…”

“How could you?”

And there’s the Tim explosion.

“You knew. You knew how upset we’d be! You knew. And you still let it happen. We mourned you! We…we had to deal with that all by ourselves! Us, and Babs, and Alfred, and Damian—” and here Tim’s mouth clicks shut, a look of horror on his face. “Oh my god. Damian. Do you know?”

Dick actually smiles. “Yeah,” He says, a heavy sort of relief in his voice. “I…I saw him. On the news. I about passed out when I did.”

Shitty way to find out. Jason thinks. But really is there even a good way? Or just a bunch of really bad ways?

“Then you know! How could you?” Tim’s voice is hoarse by now, his volume increasing with every word. “Not to mention what it’s doing to Bruce!”

Dick’s expression flickers, just barely, at Bruce’s name. Jason knows the signs, and knows exactly what that must mean.

“Tim,” Dick says, voice heavy, but Jason doesn’t let him get that far.

“Bruce,” Jason repeats. “He knew, didn’t he.”

Dick makes eye contact with him, and Jason knows that he’s right. “He’s…he’s the one who sent me here.” He says. There’s an air of resignation in his tone, a total surrender to his situation. It’s disquieting, seeing him like this.

“Of fucking course,” Jason mutters. “Let me guess. He saw an opportunity to use your whole situation and he took it. Motherfu—”

“But you went along with it!” Tim bursts out. He’s still angry (so angry) but not as explosive now. “If you didn’t want to, you should’ve just refused! If you really thought it was wrong, you should’ve just said no!”

Dick chuckles darkly. “You’re right,” He says. “I should’ve. That one…that one’s on me. I’m sorry, I really mean it. And if you can’t forgive me, I understand.”

Something’s still off. Jason frowns at him. “You’re telling me you woke up from near death, Bruce asked you to do this, and then you said yes? Just like that?”

Dick hesitates. “Well…”

Jason swears under his breath. “What did he do?” He asks. “To make you go. What did he do?”

Dick shakes his head, disbelieving. “What makes you think he did anything?”

“Because I know you,” Jason says. “And I know him. And that story doesn’t track, for either of you. Unless you went fully dark side and decided to embrace being his perfect little soldier? You’re telling me that you would ever do that, in a million years?”

Tim’s eyes are on him, a slow understanding dawning in his eyes. “Of course,” He says, voice still a little hoarse. “There’s gotta be something more to this. What happened?”

“Look,” Dick begins, voice heavy. “I’ve worked with Bruce a long time. Ever since I was a little kid. There’s certain things with him that I understand, and if he asks this of me, then, well…”

“Bullshit,” Jason repeats. “And what’s with this little kid shit? You were sixteen when you became Robin. Don’t lie more.”

Dick frowns. “No, I was…” He trails off. “I was…was it eight, or ten? I can’t remember.”

Jason frowns. “Huh? What’re you saying?”

“What’s wrong?” Tim demands. “Are you feeling off again? Your memory?”

Dick shakes his head. “Nah,” He says. “Sorry. Anyway. You know how it is. When it’s something really important, it’s important. Like, world-ending important.”

“Was this world-ending important?” Jason asks. He sees the answer clearly on Dick’s face. “Or was this daddy issues important? Or Bruce being a piece of shit important?”

“You lost the metaphor there,” Tim mutters.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jason responds. That’s back to normal, at least. “So. If this wasn’t world-ending important. Then why? Because the Dick I know wouldn’t have let Bruce force him to do anything just because.”

Dick just shakes his head again. He laughs, but it’s hollow. “I didn’t even say anything,” He asks, almost wonderingly. “How do you know this?”

“Because I know you,” Jason says. “Idiot. How many times have I said that already? So? Stop stalling. What happened?”

“You don’t want to know,” Dick says. His face is stuck between a small smile and a grimace. “Trust me.”

“Oh, we really do,” Jason says. Tim nods his assent.

Dick just sighs. “Okay,” He says. “I’ll tell you. I promise. But for now,” He looks around. “We have to get you guys back, okay?”

“You’re coming too,” Tim says instantly.

“What, already?” Jason asks. “You trying to get rid of us?”

“No,” Dick insists. At Tim’s protest, he raises a hand. “I want to go with you, but I can’t. Listen. There’s things going on here right now…I need to see them through. A lot of lives are at stake. But the first chance I get, I’ll come. Promise. I promise. And trust me: you guys knowing I’m alive already lifts a huge weight off my shoulders. Bruce’ll have little to no issue with letting me come back if he knows that you guys know.”

“Letting you?” Jason asks, eyes narrowed. “Also. What makes you think we’ll be okay with doing that? Just up and leaving you here?”

Dick’s face softens. “I know it’s a lot to ask. But, look. We need to make sure to get you guys out of here as soon as possible. It’s…well. I want to make sure the people here don’t get you in their radar.”

“Will you be okay then?” Tim asks, concerned about this development. “Staying here? It doesn’t look like you trust them.”

“I don’t,” Dick says. “And I wouldn’t stay unless I felt like I had to. And…I’ll keep in touch, okay? You won’t be leaving me entirely like that. Bruce has a way to contact me, you can bully him into using his. Tell the rest of the family, okay? I want them to know.”

This, more than anything, convinces Jason that Dick means every word of his promise. “Fine,” he says, over Tim’s protest. “We need to clean up here first, anyway. Which would be faster if I had my gun.” He eyes Dick’s belt. “Hey, can I—”

“No,” Dick says instantly.

“Come on,” Jason whines. “How come you get one and I don’t?”

“If I had the choice,” Dick says. “I’d switch with you. But alas.”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “Hey,” He says. “Does Bruce know about that? The gun?”

Dick laughs, strangely bitter. “He had to deal with it,” He says. “If he sends me here, he has to live with those consequences.”

Jason knows Dick isn’t the biggest fan of guns either, so this is probably hitting on a sore spot. Kind of his expertise, to be honest.

“I’m still mad at you,” Tim interrupts, staring Dick down. “Really mad.”

Dick’s mood changes again. “I know,” He says softly. “I’m sorry. Really.”

Tim surges forward suddenly, hugging Dick tightly again. “Really really mad,” He mutters into Dick’s tshirt.

Dick hugs back, pats him on the head. “I know,” He says. “Missed you.”

Tim makes a small, wounded sound. “Me too.”

Dick looks up, making eye contact with Jason. “You too, kiddo.” He says.

“Kiddo?” Jason says. He swallows around the lump in his throat. “Yeah. Me too, I guess,” He clears his throat. “I’m waiting for that full explanation. The minute you get back. We’ll decide what to do with Bruce from there.”

“You don’t have to—” Dick says, and Tim lets go of him again. “Look…”

Tim walks to the back of the room, quickly starting to gather up everything they brought with them.

“Shut up,” Jason says. “We’ll handle it then. We’ll head back now, contact you later. Deal?”

Tim pops back up, shoving things into Jason’s backpack. “Done,” He says.

“Deal,” Dick answers him. He gestures at them both. “I’ll lead you back, okay? Follow me.”

He walks them to the door, then pushes ahead, directing them to follow. “Matron,” He says quietly. “We’re good to go.”

She pops back around the corner. “You back now?” She says, giving him a searching look.

He grins. “Like a bad penny,” He says.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah. It’s you all right,” She gestures at the rest of them. “Right. Let’s go.”

They walk down the hallways, quietly striding through the creaking building, before Tim whispers. “We’ll need to regroup on this mission. How bad do you think we’ll get it from Damian for failing it?”

“We’re bringing Dick back,” Jason says, eyeing him. “I’m sure he’ll forget all about that.”

“I doubt it,” Tim mutters, but he grins just the same.

They head out the door, following Dick through the hallways. He walks different here, not like a Dick, not really. Like Agent 37.

Jason shakes the unease out of his head.

“Hey,” Tim says. “You still hate Tuesdays now?”

Jason snorts. “You kidding?” He says. “They’re still the worst. Although…” He glances up to see Dick ahead of them. “Gotta say. It’s about…20% less bad than it was.”

“Only 20%, huh?” Tim asks, amused.

“Yeah,” He says, then “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to,” He keeps his eyes forward. “I know you.”

“You do,” Tim says. He smiles again. “You really, really do.”

#dickgraysonweek #agent 37 #dick Grayson #spyral #Jason Todd #red hood #Tim drake #Red Robin #speaks

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slashingdisneypasta · 8 months ago

Note

Happy Birthday!!!

I know I sent a birthday message over your other blog, but I figured I should send one here too ^^

Also, since you love some of my OC's, I thought maybe you'd like a birthday message from them too ^^ I hope this doesn't come off egotistical.

Walking out to your living room, you were immediately met with the sight of a certain fox lounging across your couch like he owned the place. If you didn't know this guy, you would have called the police right away... Honestly you probably still should. Knowing him, he was only here because he needed something or he was running from someone. But- "Howdy there, beautiful. Rough night~?"

Knowing he was referring to your state, having just awoken, you cross your arms and raise a brow at his own unkempt appearance, "Hello pot, my name is kettle. How are you?"

"Ooohhh, never heard that one, before~"

You opened your mouth to reply, before your eyes landed on the coffee table and saw something that certainly wasn't there the night before; a lovely, decorated cake with unlit green candles on top. Seeing your shocked expression, Henry hummed and flicked his tail in that way that you weren't entirely sure what he was thinking, "'Bout time you noticed... The bakery was throwing it out. I don't like cake, so it's for you."

"... The bakery was going to throw out this fancy cake, with candles on it, that just so happens to have 'Hannah' written on it?"

"... Yes."

All you could do was shake your head. Henry was such a jerk... But he was your jerk, "Pfft. I love you too."

When your coworker called you over, claiming someone was on the phone looking for you, you had a few ideas on who it could have been. It was a little nerve wracking, wondering why you were being called while you were on the clock, "Hello?"

"Hannah, baby!" All of your worries dashed away as soon as you heard Shiny's voice on the other line. She never would have called you if it was an emergency, "I meant to catch you before you went to work. I had a late night last night, hehe."

"You mean later than usual?"

"Yeah." You could already see her tired grin and her rolling her shoulders, in that pretty, relaxed way that made you smile. There was a pause over the phone, and it sounded like she was taking a sip of something- more than likely coffee- before she continued, "So, how's my aged beauty doing~?"

"Ohhh don't even joke like that, ma'am. I'm not ready for it."

"Ah, I remember feeling that way." The weasel lady chuckled, making you shake your head in amusement, "It'll go away once you reach my age, I promise."

"Says the lady who's only 37."

"To-may-to, to-mah-to, whatever. Anyways! You don't need to get in trouble, so I'll make this quick." You could hear rustling in the background on Shiny's end. It sounded like she was moving clothes around. Possibly laundry? Or just getting ready for her day? You wouldn't put it past her if she called you in the middle of her morning routine, "So, did'ya know that there's a birthday special at the club?"

Oh? "There is? You never mentioned it before."

"Uh-huh. You get your choice of a free shake or plate of nachos! And a private show with a lucky dancer~"

Either this was a new development at Shiny's club, or this was her way of trying to convince you to come over and hang out with her and Terry. Not that she needed to try that hard, "Do I still have to pay for the dance, then?"

"Hmmm... If the dancer of your choosing decides it~"

"Does it have to be a dance? Or can the dancer just sit and share my nachos or shake?"

"Oh she definitely will. No amount of money can beat free food."

You couldn't help the chuckle escaping you. Shiny could never be subtle, "I can't argue that... Lemme think about it. I made plans today after work."

"Ah, fair enough." Her voice lost the playful edge in her voice, taking a warmer, content tone, "Well, either way, in case we don't catch each other, happy birthday, little witch."

You didn't expect the knock on your door so late- well, it wasn't late late, but still an unexpected time for guests. But seeing who it was through the peephole, you happily opened the door, grinning ear to ear when you saw the two familiar, fluffy faces, "Moony! You brought Cake!"

"Yeah, she missed you." The wolfs tail was already wagging excitedly as he carefully stepped inside, having to duck under your doorframe. The little rabbit tucked in his arms looked ready to hop into yours, making Moony chuckle, "See?"

The two of you shared a laugh. It took a moment before Cake was calm enough to be put down and not try to climb all over you. Once she dashed off to explore your house and to find Ghost, Moony looked to you with a guilty neck rub, "I'm sorry I never got back to you yesterday."

"That's alright. We both had pretty full days."

"Still. I didn't get to give you this." Reaching inside his flannel, Moony pulled out a box that could fit inside his palm. Though considering how huge his hands were, that wasn't saying much. His toothy grin was a little lopsided, almost like a nervous boy asking out his first crush, "Happy belated birthday, Hannah."

"Oh. Moony, you didn't have to!" You felt your heart grow all fuzzy without even knowing what was in the box, yet. You knew Moony; it was definitely something he put a lot of thought and love into. Something he knew for a fact that you would love ^^

"What kind of birthday would it be if you didn't get something?" Moony shrugged as he handed you the nicely wrapped box. Before you could open your gift, he pointed a thumb to the front door, "And, as a bonus, I thought I could offer my services."

"Services?"

"Yeah. You bought too many books, didn't you?" His soft smile turned into a teasing grin as he crossed his arms, chuckling when you huffed at him, "I thought so. Lucky for you, I brought my tools so I could extend your bookshelf. I can be in and out before you and your folks settle down for the night. Whaddya say?"

I hope these put a smile to your face! Have a good rest of your birthday!!! 💚💚💚

I CANT EVEN-

I LOVE THESE

THANK YOU SARAHHHH!! Omg, afhgasydfauscvutAGCSYfcquv, Moony in flannel you say??? Moony coming to build me a damn bookcase??? That is HUSBAND FUCKING ACTIVITY. Jesus damn christ. I- I- and SHINY CALLING ME ALL TIRED FROM HER NIGHT JUST TO TEASE ME AND OFFER ME NACHOS WITH HER AND TERRY??? H e l l yes I'll make it there!!

And- and- oh my god. HENRY!! That one is so damn cute, I cant XDD UGHHHHHHHH i love him!!! And i hate him. My villain-loving nature is killing me with him XDDD

YOUR WRITING SARAH!! IT JUST- I- OH MY L O R D. ITS GONNA KILL ME BUT ITS OKAY I'LL BE HAPPY!! XD

I really cant express how much I love these. I'm actually tagging them though, so I can find them again-- and I never really tags asks. So that should tell you something XD

Thank you so much!!! ^^ <3<3<3

#marinerainbows sexy oc's (:#thats the tag now for your OC's XD #its fitting.#and also- moony is going on my 'icons of flannel' list in my notes app #yes i really have an icons of flannel list

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ohworm-writes · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 380 times in 2022

205 posts created (54%)

175 posts reblogged (46%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@makesuretoloveyourself

@dreamwvrld

@fangirlingcentral

@sardonic-the-writer

@ohworm-writes

I tagged 238 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#worm.txt - 145 posts

#worm.answ - 103 posts

#worm.rbs - 31 posts

#anon.com/🐍 - 23 posts

#1000 follower event - 14 posts

#wilcza.com/my-dear - 13 posts

#one year event - 13 posts

#1 year event - 13 posts

#navigation - 12 posts

#navi - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if you have a different idea for the personalized little tag i do then you can dm it to me so i can have that unique tag all set for you :)

My Top Posts in 2022:

Just saw the movie about- what, 30 minutes ago? Oh. My. Gods. Above. This is the only thing I will be talking about for the next 3 weeks.

I’m already in the middle of planning a fic (read: I’m insane). HOWEVER, this being said, the fic will be posted within the next few days.

Someone has to help feed this fandom as it grows. ;-) See you soon, and remember! Don’t talk to strangers…

178 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

See the full post

295 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

▬ LOVERS ROCK PT. 1 ▬

Pairing: Jschlatt x Gn!Reader

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Minimal cursing

Synopsis: Fall is in full swing in you and your boyfriend’s shared home. So, that means some baking is in order, yes?

Word Count: 1.3k

Author’s Note: Miss me? Here’s a little something to give you a taste. I’m back.

See the full post

419 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

This whole situation is almost ironic to me. See, a few days ago I was sitting in my room and the thought of Techno came to mind. It was random, I’ll be honest, as I haven’t thought about him since April. But anyways, I wondered, you know, “How long has it been since he uploaded?” “I wonder where he is/ what’s he doing now”.

But, most importantly: “I hope he’s okay.”

I was at a party yesterday when I got the news. We were watching some movie and I wasn’t at all paying attention to it, so I went to TikTok to pass the time. And then I saw it. Someone uploaded a video saying something along the lines of “I hope this isn’t real”.

So, I checked what happened, and there it was.

My friend came over to talk and checked his phone and then he saw it and we were just speechless. I couldn’t process it until the car ride back, where I started tearing up and then fully sobbing when I got home.

I started rewatching videos as I cried myself to sleep, and then I woke up this morning and it started all over again. And while it hasn’t stopped, I have to continue to remind myself to be strong because this goofball was my inspiration! So much of myself is taken from him and I constantly have to remind myself that “It’ll be fineeee.”

I’m not okay, but really nobody else within this fandom is right now, I know that. But we have to be strong, as much time as it’ll take.

Cancer dies with the person it takes, so even here he didn’t lose: a draw, if you will. We’ll learn to be okay, however long it’ll take. And it’ll take a lot of time, believe me, but we’ll be okay.

Everything is within his calculations.

683 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I need more people to write for The Black Phone like- I’m at the point where if nobody will do it in the next 5 seconds, I will.

There are 2 fics over the course of any website I can find for it, and I swear to the gods above I KNOW the movies doesn’t come out for another few weeks but PLEASE!

Like- we can all agree that he’s hot, right? It’s not just a small group of people, right?

You guys get it, right?

Edit: Let’s acknowledge this character was based off of John Wayne Gacy and it has been stated in interviews that this character would be a pedophile. I can’t tell you who you can’t and can simp or obsess over, but I’d like anyone reading this to take in these facts. This post was made before the film debuted and before I knew who this character was based off of, and in no way do I support or condone it. I’ve since left this fandom of sorts, and while I do find Ethan Hawke attractive, I can no longer say the same for this character.

843 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Not the Black Phone stuff 💀#GUYS I DONT SUPPORT THE CHARACTER OR LIKE HIM ETHAN HAWKE IS JUST FINE ASF

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taylorthegiant · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 4,289 times in 2022

That's 2,143 more posts than 2021!

206 posts created (5%)

4,083 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@millenniumitem

@kicktires-lightfires

@bassiter2

@starlightomatic

@emil

I tagged 2,094 of my posts in 2022

#video - 199 posts

#star trek - 87 posts

#ofmd - 55 posts

#fashion - 51 posts

#splatoon - 37 posts

#pokemon - 36 posts

#cats - 36 posts

#wrestling - 33 posts

#disco elysium - 31 posts

#tf2 - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#one of the audiobook versions has the like story james howe tells about writing it with his wife who either died soon after the final draft

My Top Posts in 2022:

bronze and silver

34 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

thinking about galavant again. like madalena and gareth really should’ve realized that the feeling they were feeling was friendship in the end because i really don’t think either of them had had a friendship before let alone a m/f friendship [i deleted text here cause it was long]

39 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

thinking about how much the narrative is like richard has never had a friend besides gareth up until this point and he idealizes love and the stories that he’s heard about love. and its just like. when you’re that inexperienced and that desperate to feel it and to be in a relationship you’re going to have trouble differentiating between platonic and romantic love. and its like suddenly a woman is into him. possibly for the first time in his life. and it feels different than with madalena because he’s not trying to coax her into his idea of love. instead bobby is the one initiating which is new and exciting and never happened before so he goes for it. even though it takes three bottles of wine for him to get it up and he like cries a whole bunch. and like this happened because of the adrenaline from galavant dying and coming back. and then there’s the looming threat of death overhead anyways because theyre preparing to fight in a war so there’s some of that now or never desperation on top. desperation that can disguise a lack of any true feeling or attraction. and i just know that as soon as the two of them are living alone with no sign of gareth or galavant in sight (two men richard feels unlimited affection for). all of the pep in richard is going to be running on the idea of love and the idea of being in a relationship and he’s going to float along none the wiser because his only other romantic relationship was with madalena meanwhile bobby is going to slowly come to the realization that this is hollow and askew and that feeling is going to suffocate her until she gets desperate and runs away

44 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

pics that go hard

See the full post

52 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

im on season two of xena

53 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #cannot believe three of my top five posts were galavant related…#long post

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shatterthefragments · 2 months ago

Note

5, 6, 9, 21, 23 and 37 (I'm p sure those were it, I'm on mobile shshdh)

Thank you! Music asks

5. Top 3 played songs?

1. Disposable Fix by The Plot In You

2. I Love You, I’m Trying by grandson

3. Atlas by Friday Pilots Club

(From on repeat)

1. Endless Riots by Reece young, cane hill

2. Sugar honey ice & tea by BMTH

3. Blood Sport ftrb by Sleep Token

(From short term)

1. Kingdom of Cards by Bad Omens

2. Nazareth by Sleep Token

3. IDWT$ by Bad Omens

(From medium term)

1. ego death by Polyphia ft Steve Vai

2. Granite by sleep token

3. My love mine all mine by mitski

(From long term)

In my own opinion:

1. blood sport (both versions) from sleep token

2. Disposable fix from the plot in you

3. Fade by holywatr

6. Three favorite genres of music?

So. The quintessential question is: what is a genre? I mean? I guess I tend to go towards rock and some subgenres(?) of metal/metalcore at the moment?

Looking at wrappeds: modern rock, modern alternative rock, pop; pop, modern alternative rock, alt z; pop, modern rock, metal core; dance pop, modern alternative rock, video game music

So. I guess I’ll choose Modern (alternative?) rock, pop, and metalcore?

9. Favorite concert you’ve attended?

Favourite with another person was Noah Kahan that I went to with my cousin (in place of the sister bc she had a cheer thing come up) and it was the perfect venue with seats and dancing and good drinks (only venue I’ve been able to just buy a glass of pineapple juice at! And I love going back to this one :)) and was such an amazing little trip we had together! (Literally we were in the hostel trying to learn one song ahead of the show bc it was the sister who wanted to go and so I was going to take her) I think this was the Busyhead tour :)

On my own: …this has to be split into smaller or larger venue.

For a larger venue: either Sleep Token or Halestorm/Volbeat. Truly astounding~ both sound even better (somehow) live (ok can’t really speak for volbeat I don’t listen to them as much and only started after seeing them)

For a smaller venue: probably grandson (even though physically I was Suffering and was unsure if I’d even make it there) or maybe Finger Eleven bc it was my very first and hooked me to continue going to concerts :)

21. A song that needs to play loud?

Hmmm. So. I. Hmm.

So I have. Possible slight hearing loss from mostly being in food service my entire working life BEEPS AND ALARMS GALORE (coming up on a decade pretty soon) and probably the damn fog horn from sailing. But at the same time im very sensitive?? Like when I use headphones or earbuds it’s almost always on the quietest volume I can have it on and even then it’s sometimes too loud/intense. I’ve fiddled with both lowering all the EQ in Spotify and in my phone’s Audio Settings to get it a bit quieter. (Like the health app says it’s ~48 decibels instead of 60-62 for when I have headphones connected.) something something I wish it was acceptable to wear earplugs freaking everywhere. But in fresh food we aren’t allowed bc it could “fall out into the food” (and also customer service) (I have so many pairs. Some of which would NOT fall out. The others I haven’t opened yet :P) (I don’t blame concert going for this on account of wearing earplugs. But. Anyway)

All that to say: I don’t usually change the volume (at least consciously) for specific songs?

Actually.

Hmmm let me think if I turn the volume up in the car if I’m driving and a song comes on.

Any song that has a breakdown or a section I love to sing along with 💖

But even so I tend to mostly turn music up when I’m on the highway and there’s more background noise and down at slower speeds. This goes for if there’s a lot of background noise when I’m listening to music at home or on the bus/walking too.

Or: perhaps: Sleep Token’s Rain bc I hadn’t heard the scream there until I turned it way up on the highway home one drive bc I was previously like “so nice of them to give IV an additional screamy part 🥰 “ and then it was. Wait. Maybe it’s in the original song too. And uh. Turns out it was. (I doubled the volume to notice it the first time 😬)

Though I will fully admit that if im in a mood and need the music to surround my very essence I will turn it up regardless of ambient noise levels. The MULTIPLE drives home where im screaming along to Blood Sport on loop are fucking unreal 😬

23. A song by an artist with a voice that you love?

Admission: if I don’t love your voice, or at least find it pleasant, *most* of the time im not going to listen to what you’re singing.

Dynasty by Rina Sawayama is the first that came to mind.

Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless

Jaws Sleep Token

Welcome to the Show Adam Lambert

Millie Warm the Kettle Rabbitology

27. A song that has many meanings to you?

…so many…

There’s Blame Candy’s Pathetic (which I haven’t been able to listen to for years bc it wasn’t healthy for me at that point)

(Literally most of Sleep Token and Bad Omens and The Plot In You’s discography tbh)

Mayhaps Northlane’s Clockwork.

#ask and you shall receive #asks #music #shatters’ fragments #concerts #the lore is deep with this one #ask game #ask games #long post

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casspurrjoybell-31 · 11 months ago

Text

The Consort - Chapter 37 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Finn

"Brayden, just because she's saying his name in her sleep doesn't mean... there's a chance it isn't true..."

Brayden carefully reaches into the breast pocket of his form-fitting jacket.

His slender fingers pull out a stack of tattered paper, most of them crinkled and frayed at the ends.

He holds them out, nodding for me to read.

I swallow hard and set aside my tea before grabbing them from his flawless hand.

My eyes skim over the letter and I recognize Fiona's handwriting instantly.

It's a feminine type of penmanship, slanted and formal just as the way she wrote her notes in class.

Mark.

Your plan worked. I thought it would take longer for them to save me, but after I sent that email to Bogdan, the pieces just fell into place. They believed I was being held captive, and they took the chance to save me. Just like you said they would. I can't say it's not nice to see Finn, though. He's very misguided, Mark, and it scares me. These vampires have him so brainwashed, it's painful to watch.

I'm going to offer him a chance to leave with me, at least to see how he reacts. Perhaps if he seems interested I can convince him to come back with me? I don't know. We'll see. Also, I can't give you an exact location of our whereabouts. We traveled so fast I couldn't get a good look. But based on the surrounding houses, I'd say we're on the outskirts of the Village. I'm not sure how to get these to you, but I'll find a way. I promise. Missing you,

Fiona.

My cheeks burn with betrayal.

A fresh batch of tears become lodged in my throat, fighting for an escape.

All this time I thought Fiona was on our side, broken and lost from her time in captivity.

Could it be possible that all along... she was playing us?

With quivering hands, I flip through a few letters to read another.

Dearest Mark,

We're in the north now. Finn confirmed it and I can tell from the maps we studied before I left as well. From what they're saying we might be here awhile. I think it's still too soon to attack, though. Brayden's strength is more than I've ever seen in a vampire but the more he falls in love with Finn, the weaker his mind becomes.

Just a little bit longer, darling... I miss you, you know. It's hard not to talk about you, to act as if everything is alright when deep down I want to cry. I'm living with monsters and a friend who is so lost in the clouds all he cares about is being bound to his demon.

Also, they figured out I'm pregnant. No one has said anything but I can tell they know. I hope they don't ask me about it, Mark. It's hard enough to pretend like I'm some weak-minded woman still caught up on her ex-boyfriend. If I have to lie and say our child was conceived out of anything but passion, I think I might lose my mind.

Now that we're stationed here, I'm going to find a way to get these to you. Don't worry, my love. We'll be together soon.

Fiona.

Tears spill down my cheeks.

My chest burns as I try to force a breath of air through my mouth.

When I exhale, it becomes choppy.

This can't be happening.

How is it possible?

The entire thing was a set-up. All of it.

Fiona was never captive.

She simply pretended to be in order for us to save her.

Now she's simply playing along until the opportunity is right to see us captured. Or worse.

The letters feel like they're burning against my fingertips, my friend's betrayal searing me soul deep. I hand the letters back to Brayden.

"Please...I c-can't read anymore."

Brayden stares down at me with a masked expression.

He responds with an even tone, glancing towards the house and studying every window.

"You need to read the last, human."

I don't want to. Really, I don't.

But my fingers seem to listen to him anyway, flipping to the last and bringing it to the top.

This letter is shorter than the others, the handwriting sloppy and frantic.

The tears in my eyes make it hard to read.

Mark,

We ran in to Vultures tonight. I couldn't believe my luck. They actually split took Finn and me in different directions, so by the time I was alone with them, I explained everything.

Unfortunately, a good number were lost thanks to the vampires. But there are still a few waiting in the headquarters who are willing to bring my letters to you. I'll sneak them into town as soon as I get a chance. I'll see you soon, love,

Fiona.

I wheeze out a breath of despair, closing my eyes and shoving the papers back to Brayden.

Tears slip down my cheeks,and I pull my arms around my chest, curling myself into a ball as best I can.

"She must have fallen asleep writing this one," Brayden explains.

"Because when I went in to check on her, they were all spread across the bed."

I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my sweater and a streak of snot spreads across the cotton material.

How is all of this possible?

I thought I knew Fiona better than this.

I thought Kelly knew Fiona better than this.

Then again, his memory of her was wiped clean.

He doesn't remember anything.

"Does Kelly know?" I whisper.

Brayden gives a single, clipped nod.

"How'd he take it?"

His nostrils flare and he stuffs the letters back into his breast pocket.

"Not as well as I would have hoped."

I frown and shake my head, not understanding.

"You asked what the plan was, human," Brayden says after a beat of silence.

"I had hoped to leave Fiona here, allowing her to deal with the Vultures on her own. But Kelly refuses to leave her side until he is assured of her safety."

My jaw slackens and anger swells within me.

"But he can't," I argue, my voice rising to a gentle shout.

"Fiona will turn on him... "

Brayden holds his hand up to silence me.

"He's aware of the risk. And I can't convince him otherwise. He will return Fiona to camp before finding us."

"But what if he needs help? What if someone gets to him first?"

Brayden folds his hands behind his back, straightening his posture and exuding nothing but masked indifference.

"Like I said, human, he knows the risk."

"And what about us?" I venture to ask, my head spinning with uncertainty.

"What will happen to us?"

At this Brayden glances down at me.

His red gaze manages to calm me with a single look, their potency and confidence sweeping me into their web of ease.

"Behind this weeping willow are the essentials I have collected for us to travel," he murmurs, his voice softening with understanding.

"It's too dangerous to go back into the house at this point. We do not have time to say goodbyes, human."

I swallow hard.

An ache of longing blooms inside me, already mourning the absence of Kelly by our sides.

"We will travel, picking up clues along the way to find the only population who might be able to protect you and keep you safe."

My eyes widen.

"The Secondaries...?"

Brayden nods a single time.

"This war isn't over yet, human. And I'm willing to plead to get them on our side before anyone else has the chance."

His thin lips relax into the semblance of a sad smile.

He reaches out his hand to me, his long fingers a silent invitation to continue my path forward with him.

Without hesitation my cold fingers slide into his palm.

It feels like a slim hope, the two of us against the world.

But as Brayden guides us around the tree to begin loading our limited supplies into his arms, I realize that there's nothing that would stop me from taking that chance with him.

We might only be at the beginning of our journey but I'm willing to give everything I have to make it work... for me, for him, for us.

He is, after all, my vampire and I, his consort.

I may have the blood of a Nirv but it was nothing more than an innocent kiss that was enough to bond us forever.

A kiss that sparked into a flame.

A kiss powerful enough to change the world.

THE END

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koushou · 3 years ago

Note

i love it smmmm omg. the megumi fix is amazing it’s more than i asked for ❤️❤️ bro 6,9k is a blessing you don’t understand how glad it made me it’s so worth the wait. tumblr is so dry when it comes to anime fics and especially w megumi thank you for feeding me something other than the crumbs this website gives me. i don’t want to be too annoying but whenever you’re free if you could do a pt 2 cause that ending omg. i love it sm and i can’t thank you enough ❤️

pairing : megumi x f!reader [fluff]

warnings : slight makeout scene idk HAHA nothing too intense though (also not proofread because i wanted to get this posted as soon as i finished it)

wc : 3.5k

a/n : ur too sweet omg and im FINALLY back from procrastinating your request again anon… (i really apologize i don’t mean to take so long pls forgive me D: ) i hope this is what you wanted!!

pt. 1 (you don’t really have to read pt 1 to understand this part but i do recommend it)

loud chatter echoes through the large modern dining hall located on the second floor of the hotel.

“i’m… so full…” a certain pink haired male burps for the nth time as he still continues to stuff food into his mouth. gojo laughs at itadori’s passion for the hotel food, while doing the same as he takes a large bite of a pancake.

you chuckle, taking a sip of your drink and leaning back in your cushioned chair, already finished with your 3rd plate of breakfast. i mean, who could blame you? hotel breakfast food just hits a different type of way.

“so, spill all the juicy events that happened last night, i wanna know!” nobara nudges you excitedly, her eyes twinkling as she pulls her chair closer to yours.

rolling your eyes, you look away from the ginger female and pretend to not have heard her. accidentally, you were now faced towards megumi, sitting on the opposite side of you. your eyes met for a brief moment before you quickly turned away, breaking the awkward interaction.

“aww— c’mon, y/n! please—“

“nothing happened at all! and don’t think i forgot the way you ignored my knocks on your door yesterday,” you shot her a glare, earning a sheepish laugh in return.

“but... in the same bed..?”

you were about to retort back when gojo stands up and claps his hand over his stomach, which now seemed just… a few sizes bigger.

“alright! have we all finished our food? god, when did hotel food get so good— anyway, it’s time to pack our things and head back home!” your constantly enthusiastic teacher exclaims, as a waiter comes to collect your plates.

after thanking the waiter and paying the bill (poor gojo-sensei’s wallet), you all head back upstairs to drive back home.

a thick silence hangs over your room as you and megumi collect your items, not wanting to bring up any events from last night. finally ready to head out, you walk towards the door to open it until another hand reaches the handle at the same time.

you retract your hand quickly, while the other hand lingers in the air above the knob.

“oh— sorry, you can go first!” you gulp, backing up a bit so megumi can exit first.

he pauses for a second, twisting the knob until the door pulls open. you expected him to walk out, but he makes his way to the other side of you instead, still holding the door open.

you look over at him with a questioning look, receiving a slight shrug and a hint of a smirk.

“ladies first.”

why was his stupid face so handsome?

you shook your head at his teasing expression, making your way out the door to the carpeted hallway, him following close behind.

the others were already at the lobby waiting, their conversation becoming clearer as you reach them.

“what’s taking them both so long? you don’t think they’re too busy… y’know…” nobara’s usual cheerful voice carries her words to your ears, making you roll your eyes and spook her from being.

“boo.”

“i’m just sayin- oh my go—“ she frantically turns around, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing it was just you.

“you scared me!”

“what were we talking about?”

“nothing important! come on, we should get going!” nobara nudges gojo and itadori ahead, escaping you as she scurries out of the lobby.

you hear a yawn from behind you, a tuft of black hair moving past you as you suppress the urge to laugh at megumi’s already messy hairstyle, amplified by his morning bed hair.

finally, you were all seated back in gojo’s car, ready to drive back to the school so you all can head back to your own homes.

the ride back was full of gojo’s irritating voice singing along to songs playing from the car radio, itadori laughing along, and the rest of you too excited to leave the car.

“alright kids! we’re here, make sure to be safe on the way back home!”

gojo waves to all of you as you hop out of his car one by one, basking in the cool summer air for a few seconds.

“see you guys!”

itadori jogs away, heading in the direction of his own home, followed by megumi, then nobara, and lastly, you.

upon reaching your house, your mother welcomes you, asking about your day, if you had fun, and other typical mother questions.

you were telling her about your day when you suddenly recalled the hotel night events, and scurried away embarrassed upstairs to your room, leaving a very confused mom behind.

you flop down onto the bed, face down, wanting to get a good few minutes of quiet nap time in before your phone dings with a notification.

grunting, you pull your phone out from your pocket, swiping across the screen to check the message.

surprisingly, it was from megumi, eyebrows suspiciously raising as you open the text message from him. you two rarely texted unless it was about school or business-related, so you couldn’t think of anything he would need from you right now.

megumi : Hey.

megumi : I have your hair tie with me. You probably left it in my bag or something.

megumi : I’m coming over in 5 minutes.

you sat up abruptly, rereading his messages to make sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

you had been so caught up with his prior messages that you failed to register that he said he was going to be at your house in… 5 minutes.

hurriedly, you swiped to see what time he had sent that last message. 12:34 AM.

your eyes moved to the top of your phone screen, reading the current time. 12:37 AM.

almost falling out of bed scrambling to your room mirror, you checked your appearance to make sure you looked fine and your hair wasn’t messy and-

you paused.

“why am i so concerned about how i look? why do i care about this?”

you slapped your face with both hands, bringing yourself back to reality when you were interrupted again, but this time by your doorbell ringing from downstairs.

making your way out of your room, you saw that your mom had already opened the door with a familiar tall figure standing in the doorway.

“oh! megumi, it’s been a while!” your mom lets megumi in with a smile, already going to the kitchen to make him some tea.

he bows politely, sitting down on the couch, now changed into a loose white t-shirt with black shorts.

“uh- theres no need to make me tea, i won’t be here for too long—“

“nonsense! you can even stay for lunch, dear megumi! i just have to prepare the last dish and—“

you finally clear your throat, standing at the middle of the stairs, catching both of their attention.

“oh, y/n! i have to go out to the grocery store for some ingredients, take care of our guest megumi, alright?” she places two cups of tea on the table in front of megumi, grabbing her keys to head out.

“wait, mom—“

she sends you a wink by the door, already outside before you can finish your sentence.

you sigh in defeat, sitting across from megumi on the other couch.

“here.”

megumi pulls out a black hair tie from his pocket, almost identical to the one currently around your wrist.

you raise your eyebrows in suspicion at the hair tie. “but i only have one? and i didn’t bring any extra yesterday..?” you motion to your own arm.

he looks back and forth between your wrist and the one he had in his hand, scratching his head in confusion.

“it was in our hotel room, so i assumed it was yours.” he shrugs, placing it on the table. “but if it isn’t, i can just throw it away.”

you hum, taking a sip of the tea your mom prepared as he does the same, cringing as the still hot tea burns his tongue.

“pfft…”

he glares at you, placing the cup down as his eyes scan around your living room, taking in the decorations.

“i’ll just keep it then, it seems new.” you take the forgotten hair tie on the table, and wear it around your wrist, now decorated with two black hair ties.

he nods, sitting back against the couch, silence falling between you both.

a question suddenly popped up in your mind, your mouth moving faster than your brain.

“you came all the way here… just to give me a hair tie?”

the question seems to set him a little nervous, clearing his throat and avoiding eye contact as he fidgets in his seat.

“well— i figured i’d return it to you before i forgot,” he shrugs, reaching out to take another sip of his tea before pulling back quickly again at the heat.

you nod slowly, still unconvinced with his answer. who goes all the way to someone’s house to return a hair tie?

“okay then, see you on monday?” you get up, ready to send him back off.

his head snaps up, still not moving in his seat as he opens his mouth slowly, as if unsure of how to respond.

“um- i thought your mom said i could stay…for lunch…?”

he averts his eyes, pink dusting his pale cheeks as he looks away. your mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape as you recall your mom’s words and those were - in fact what she had said.

it wasn’t that you were against him staying for lunch, but you two weren’t even friends or remotely close at that. rivals would even suit you both better than friends.

“but if you want i can, uh, leave now,” he starts to stand, looking uncomfortable in his position across from you.

it was then that you remembered megumi’s background, that his mother had left early at birth, plus his father wasn’t exactly present.

you couldn’t imagine living without your parents, and how lonely he must be without true family.

“no! i mean, that’s not what i meant, you can stay.” you sputter out before he gets the wrong idea.

his eyes seem to light up at your words, nodding before sitting back down on his previous spot on the couch.

you glance over at the time on your phone, it had been around 7 minutes after your mom had left.

the tension was thick in the room, and just when you thought you were about to explode from the awkwardness, he finally breaks the silence.

“do you… play that?”

you turn to where his eyes are placed on, seeing your black xbox console laying on top of a cabinet, having been untouched for a while.

“oh that? yeah, occasionally, why?”

you hear a snicker from beside you, snapping your head to find his lips curled into a teasing grin.

“oh, i just didn’t think a nerd like you would play games.”

you raise your eyebrows at his words. “you sure about that? it doesn’t seem like you’re very good at games either, megumi.” you make sure to stretch out each three syllables of his name to tease him further.

he huffs while leaning back, still maintaining intense eye contact with you, almost challenging each other to say something back.

“how about this, whoever wins against the other gets to make them do whatever they want. no matter what it is.” he nods over to the console, tilting his head as he waits for your response.

you chuckle, standing up to take the console, fiddling with it for a moment before turning back to him.

“alright, just don’t cry when you lose too much, okay?”

he shrugs, smirking as he looks around the living room for the other console, making you remember something.

“oh, the other console plus a TV is in my room, wanna just play there?”

he stiffens suddenly, before nodding slowly and following you upstairs to your room.

reaching the door, you suddenly stop, making megumi grunt and come to a stop, almost crashing into you.

“uh - wait here.”

you open the door just enough to slip inside, quickly gathering some of your belongings and cleaning as much as you could, to at least make your room seem presentable.

“okay!” you open the door for megumi, who makes no move to enter at first.

“...”

“you can come in.”

“... is this okay?”

you cock your head, not understanding his question.

“your mom isn’t home.”

“...so?”

“we’re alone.”

“and?”

“i’m… going into your room.”

“what is your point?” you began to grow frustrated at this conversation. then, it hit you all of a sudden.

“ahh, megumi? have you never been in a girl’s room alone before?” you snicker, shaking your head from laughter.

he starts to protest, before quickly closing his mouth and finally entering your room.

you connect the two consoles into your TV in your room, sitting down on the edge of your bed as you load up the games on the screen.

“you can sit here if you want,” you pat the empty spot next to you, to which he carefully sits down on, taking one console from your hand.

“ready?”

he nods, as you start the game.

-- --

“what--?!”

you throw your hands up in frustration, groaning as you flop backwards on the bed.

“i told you, you can’t beat me.” megumi chuckles, dodging a stuffed bear you threw in his direction.

you huffed, sitting back up, determined to beat him at least once.

“one last rematch!”

he lets out a laugh, a rare one that you think you might just never forget, and starts the game again.

after a few minutes of intense clicking, yelling and laughing, you let out a proud shout, the word victory flashing across your screen.

you pick up another stuffed animal from your bed and toss it straight at megumi’s face, celebrating as he lets out an ‘oof’ and glare back at you.

“but i still won around, 7 times, so i get to make you do something- oof-” he stumbles back again from another stuffed animal to the face.

“hmm? i don’t know what you’re talking about--” you pretend to not have heard him before your vision goes momentarily black from a soft object hitting your face, a pink bear landing in your lap.

“hey!”

“what, you keep throwing them at me!”

“fine…”

“hey, why are you getting so close--!”

you tackle megumi backwards onto the bed, throwing your pillows at his face -- not very gently -- as he tries to shield his arms in vain.

“ahh—! okay, okay, i’m sorry, stop it—“ he huffs as you finally stops your attack, his dark blue orbs looking up into yours.

you only now noticed your close proximity, quickly sitting back up to create some distance between the both of you. he clears his throat, fiddling with one of your pillows.

“well, a loss is a loss, what do i have to do?” you sigh, admitting your defeat.

“hmm…” he seems to be lost in deep thought, probably trying to find the worst thing he can make you do.

after a few silent, intense seconds, he finally speaks.

“are you… free tomorrow?”

you turn to him, giving him a questioning look at his strange question. he only stares back at you in response, awaiting your answer.

“um… yeah, i’m free the whole day, why do you as-“

“come watch a movie with me tomorrow.” he blurts out quickly, not even letting you finish your sentence.

you gape at him, still processing his words, unsure if you had heard wrong.

“... sorry?”

his face was reddenning by the second, yet his eyes remained firmly on yours the whole time.

“let’s go watch the new movie in the theater. i heard it’s quite popular already despite releasing only last week.”

“oh… okay, i can ask nobara if she wants to com-“

“don’t!” he says a little too loudly, clearing his throat after as he regains his composure.

“i mean, i- just, you.”

“just.. us?”

he nods.

silence fell again between the two of you, unsure if he was asking you what you thought he was asking you. you decide to test the waters cautiously.

“man.. it’s almost like you’re asking me out on a date, megumi?” you tease lightly, expecting a ‘tch’ or an, ‘as if’.

“so what if i am?”

now that was an answer you weren’t expecting.

“you’re.. joking, right?”

megumi sighs, moving closer until his body was mere centimeters away from yours.

“i’m serious.”

“do you... like me or something?”

he stares at you blankly. “would i ask you on a date if i didn’t have feelings for you, idiot?”

you only just realize how stupid your question sounded, trying to find a response until he reaches up to cup your cheek with one hand.

they felt soft, yet slightly gruff from constant training and fighting, large enough to cover one half of your face. they were warm, slightly trembling probably from nervousness, yet made you wish he’d never take it off.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to. we can forget this ever happened.” his own cheeks turning slightly pink, yours probably even worse as the space between your faces closed in slowly.

“but i don't think i can do this anymore, so just let me be a little selfish this once, okay?”

barely registering his words before he moves in to kiss you, soft lips moving against the other as his hand tightens against the side of your cheek. you barely register your own actions anymore, hands reaching up to tangle themselves in his hair, moving down to his neck, and finally finding home cupped around his face.

he groans against your lips, pressing you down until he was now hovering above you, never breaking the kiss even once in the process. you lost track of how long you both had been making out in your bed before you hear the front door open from downstairs.

frantically, the both of you separated in fear of your mom catching you in the act, catching your breaths while still processing what just happened.

you hear shuffling from downstairs, standing up to escape megumi before you were pulled back into a warm chest.

“wait—“ his arms wrap around you to trap you from leaving his grasp, your eyes looking everywhere but his, and suddenly your wall was the most interesting thing in sight.

“are we… really going to pretend that didn’t happen?” you finally gather the courage to look him in the face, almost melting at the soft pout set on his (now slightly redder than before) lips.

“ilikeyoutoo.” you get out quickly before you lose the chance to say it again.

he stiffens against you, eyes lighting up almost like an excited puppy receiving treats. “you like me? i didn’t hear you, so can you say it again?”

you huff, trying to wriggle your way out of his arms, only resulting in him pulling you closer to sit on his lap. he presses his forehead to yours, chuckling at your futile attempt to escape.

“i said— i like you—!” you ram your head into his, making him groan in pain, loosening his hold on you. the perfect chance for escape.

you saw the opportunity, dashing to the door, twisting the knob, almost getting it open until—

“nope,” megumi’s hand stops the door in time, instead twisting you around until your back was now flat against the wood, both of his palms placed beside your head.

“y/n? megumi?” your mom’s voice calls from downstairs, but all you could hear was your heartbeat thumping loudly in your chest.

“megumi! move, my mom’s home,” you place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away to no avail.

he grabs your pushing hand and places it on the left side of his chest, letting you feel the soft but fast thumping of his heart, almost matching the pace of your own.

“this is all your fault. you’re not gonna take responsibility for it?” he inches closer to your burning face, making you huff and grab his face.

you press your lips to his, feeling him immediately return the kiss, but you pull away after a few seconds, leaving him still trying to kiss you again.

“nope, my mom’s home, and i’m hungry.”

you open the door, seeing your mom begin to set the table with plates of food downstairs. you look back at megumi, who still looked sad after getting his kiss cut short.

sighing, you take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers together before pulling him down the stairs.

“come on, it’s time for lunch. you’ll get more later.”

you feel him perk up, giving your hand a squeeze as he follows close behind.

you steal a glance at your wrist, still wearing both the hair ties. good thing he hadn’t noticed you stuffing one into his bag this morning.

#megumi x reader #megumi x reader fluff #megumi fluff #megumi fushiguro oneshot #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro fluff #megumi x you #megumi fushiguro x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen oneshot #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen megumi

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megatraven · 2 years ago

Text

Lean On Us

For @wombatking!! I hope you enjoy it! This was my first time writing for Amphibia at all, but I had a lot of fun doing it! Sashannarcy fans rise up 💗💚💙

Rating: General Pairing: Sashannarcy (Sasha x Anne x Marcy) Summary: After fracturing her ankle during cheer practice, Sasha needs to find something else to fill up her time if she doesn’t want to die of boredom. Luckily for her, her girls know just how to help the time fly by.

AO3 || 2.3k Words

The phone rings almost endlessly on her nightstand, a constant, incessant reminder that she matters to people. Her hand slaps at it, poking around until she silences it.

With a sigh, she rolls onto her side, laying an arm over her eyes to block them from the sunlight streaming in through her window.

“Finally. Some peace and-”

Ring, ring, ring!

She groans, pulling her pillow over her head,

Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop her phone from trilling out. Knowing when to admit defeat, Sasha reaches for her phone and answers the call.

“GOOOD MORNING, SASH!” Anne yells, far too cheery for the morning. “Me and Marcy are gonna stop over soon, so be prepared, ‘kay?”

“What... don’t you guys have school?”

That’s where they should be, anyways. None of them have missed a single day since coming back from Amphibia- the need to find a routine again, to have a little bit of normalcy was too much for any of them to even think about skipping class. Of course, wanting to be at school didn’t mean much when you fracture your ankle and your doctor recommends bedrest.

Stupid cheer practice, she thinks, a little bitter that that’s what did her in.

Not fighting for a toad army, or going toe-to-toe with her best friends, or getting sliced by Darcy. Nope. Nothing cool like that at all.

Instead, one of her teammates dropped her. Not on purpose, and had it been at any other moment, Sasha would have easily stuck the landing. Unfortunately for her, it happened just as Marcy and Anne showed up to watch their practice, and Sasha was just distracted enough that instinct didn’t kick in until there was already a sharp pain travelling up her leg, forcing obscenities out through clenched teeth.

She only just got discharged from the hospital the day before, and now she’s home for a few days while she gets used to her crutches, bored out of her mind.

Or, she would be, if not for-

“What? No! It’s already 4 o’clock, dude!”

A quick glance at the time on her phone confirms it: she slept through the entire day.

“...Oh.”

A laugh comes through the phone- Marcy, for sure.

“Don’t worry, Sash, we’ve got your homework. And like 37 different apology notes and get-well-soons from the squad.”

“Oh, frog. I told them it was okay!”

“Yeah, but they still feel bad,” Anne says. “But don’t worry about that right now, we’re just gonna stop at our houses on the way to pick some stuff up.” A pause. “You’re at your dad’s, right?”

She hums in confirmation.

“Cool, see you in a bit!”

“Bye Sasha!”

“Bye, girls.”

The line goes quiet, and her room is silent again. Only now, that’s the opposite of what she wants- her girlfriends always know how to turn her mood around.

“Where’s Anne?” Sasha asks, hugging Marcy until she lets go. She came in alone, no Anne in sight, which was odd.

“We were almost here when she said she had a great idea! Don’t know what it is, but she looked really excited about it and pretty much took off! She said it’ll only take her like half an hour tops.”

Sasha snorts.

That’s become pretty typical of Anne. She’s always going out of her way to do something way too nice for Sasha and Marcy both. Something really meaningful that makes Marcy want to cry... and makes Sasha want to cry and hit something. In a good way.

“So... what’s all that for, then?” she asks, pointing down to the bag at Marcy’s feet.

“Oh my frog, I almost forgot!” Marcy squeals, picking it up and dumping its contents out all over Sasha’s bed. “I brought markers! So we can decorate your cast!” Swatting a few of them aside also reveals a couple of discs. “And I brought... our favorite movie! The cut and uncut version!”

“Oh, you mean your favorite movie?” Sasha teases. They’ve all watched it plenty of times since returning home, and though she won’t admit it, it actually was her favorite movie now. It doesn’t matter, though; Marcy and Anne see through her anyways.

“Yep, our favorite movie,” Marcy confirms with a smile. “But we should wait or Anne to start it. In the meantime...” A gleam enters her eyes as she picks up handfuls of markers. “It’s art time!”

“Woah, there. I dunno about that...”

“Awwww, come on, Sash! Pleeeeease? I promise I’ll draw lots of cool stuff!” She pouts, and plays up the puppy-dog eyes that Sasha absolutely can’t say no to.

Sasha puts both her hands up in surrender and sighs, though she can’t mind too much.

“Okay, okay. Have at it, Mar-Mar.”

There’s a battle happening on her cast.

What started off as little flowers and silly doodles of their Amphibia friends turned into a fully-fledged battle. Little spears and swords clashing against robots and vaguely Core-like entities. Sasha, Marcy, and Anne at the front of it all. Pink, green, and blue streaks mark them as powered up, ready to fight.

And that’s not to mention just how detailed it all is. Sasha was ready to throw the cast away the first moment she could, but now it’s too beautiful to ever throw out.

“This is... wow, Marcy. I’m like. Really, really impressed.”

Of course, Sasha knows how much work Marcy’s been putting into her art- she and Anne have been doing their best to be supportive of her interests. And that’s not hard to do at all when her art is so amazing.

Marcy, with her tongue sticking out, is too focused on finishing the giant green d20 to answer right away, but she sits back on her haunches when she’s done and admires her work. She looks so proud, and that makes Sasha happy, too.

“Yeah, you know, I think this is some of my best work!”

“Totally! Now you have to sign it, too. That way everyone knows I own a Marcy Wu original. You know, so I can brag when you’re famous.”

It’s enough to make Marcy blush, but she does finish the drawing off with a quick signature at the bottom.

“I feel kinda bad, I didn’t leave Anne any room to sign...”

“Well, what if we all sign our names next to where we’re fighting?”

Marcy lights up at the suggestion.

“Yes! Sash, you’re a genius-!”

“Hey, girlfriends!”

“Anne!”

“Anne, hey- woah. What, uhh... What happened to you?” Sasha asks, looking her other girlfriend up and down, from her muddied pants to her shirt with tears in the fabric, to her hair full of leaves- just like when she was in Amphibia. And just as odd, she’s only wearing one sock, while the other foot is bare.

“Oh, nothing,” she says with a bright smile. “Just had to go pick up something.”

From behind her back, she pulls out a shoebox that’s just as dirty as the rest of her. There are holes poked through the sides and top, and that’s enough of a tip-off for Sasha to know what’s inside.

“Anne, I love you, but you know frogs still aren’t really my thing...”

“What? No, I know that! That’s why I got you this guy instead!”

She takes the lid off the box and angles it so Sasha can see- revealing a big, plump toad taking his abduction into a shoebox pretty damn well. It makes her heart pang, and then the toad croaks and it sounds just like Grimesy that Sasha nearly begins to bawl.

“Aww, he’s so cute!” Marcy coos, looking into the box. “Can we keep him?”

“Yeah, Anne, can we?”

She’s sure she could convince her dad to get a decent habitat built for it. The money isn’t an issue, anyways, and her parents have been a little too clingy after her disappearance. She’s about to mention it when she notices the look on Anne’s face.

“Heh, probably not guys. He shouldn’t be out of his environment for too long. But, I just thought... I don’t know. I thought it’d be a nice reminder. Just for a little bit.” Her smile’s a little sad. “I was going to bring him back to where I found him when I left.”

“That’s... yeah, that’s for the best.” Sasha pulls her into a hug, careful not to jostle the box, and Marcy joins in. “Thank you, Anne. It was really cool getting to see him.”

“Anytime, Sash. You know you’re my girls.”

By the time they’ve all finished watching the cut version of the film, it’s dark outside. They’ve eaten way too much popcorn and sweets, their pillows are littered all over the room from an earlier pillow fight, and they’re all too wound up to even think about calling it a night.

“Okay, okay, let me just- I gotta go put this guy back, it won’t take as long as it did to get him. But then we’re putting on the uncut edition, and it’s over for the both of you,” Anne says, laughing at the other two.

Sasha’s got Marcy pinned underneath, her cast not slowing her down in the least. She looks up at Anne and grins, and Marcy mirrors the expression, not letting her upside-down view of the world ruin her fun.

“Come back soon! My dad ordered in pizza for us, and he’s also picking up some of those cupcakes Mar-Mar likes so much.”

Marcy gasps, sitting up so fast that it knocks Sasha off to the side

“The red velvet!?”

Snickering, Sasha rolls off of her completely.

“Yeah, those ones.”

“YES!”

She throws her fists up in victory- too fast for herself, this time, because it knocks her off balance and makes her fall onto her side, too.

They all erupt into giggles.

“Come back quickly, Anne! There might not be any cupcakes left if you don’t hurry-”

“Sasha!”

A pillow flies into her face, and Anne bursts into laughter all over.

“Hey, calm down girls, don’t have too much fun without me!”

“Never!” their voices ring out, Marcy’s muffled now that Sasha’s wrestled the pillow from her.

Resting her elbows on the pillow that is firmly set over Marcy’s face, Sasha winks at her.

“Be safe, okay?”

“Sure, Sash,” Anne says with a smile. “I’ll be back soon, girls.”

It goes like that, for the next seven weeks.

The girls come over every day after school, even after Sasha’s allowed to go back. They chatter about anything and everything, from the upcoming school dance- which they’re all going to with each other- to the cheer squad dedicating a brand new cheer to Sasha. Something about wanting her with them even when she has to sit on the sidelines.

It’s sweet, really.

But nothing helps the time fly faster than her girls.

Marcy brings over countless video games to play- ones where Sasha can just button-mash through the fights like she prefers, but also the strategy kinds where she really gets to sharpen her skills. She’s still got it, even if she’s no longer commanding Amphibia’s largest army.

Anne is always bringing over something homemade- usually food she helps her parents make, but also sometimes new song lyrics for them to try out. Not that the band is still going strong- they’ve hardly played a musical note together since the battle of the bands in Amphibia- but it’s fun to sing together and rock out in her room.

Not to mention the sheer amount of sleepovers they have, some spanning their entire weekends. They used to have sleepovers a lot back in the day, but it’s incomparable to how many they have now that they’re home and more open with one another.

In those seven weeks, Sasha learns more about frogs and toads and newts and olms than she ever imagines she would, but she loves hearing Anne and Marcy talk about what they love. There’s a passion that wasn’t there before- or maybe it was always there, and it just took their time in Amphibia for Sasha to wake up and notice it.

And speaking of passions... everyone at school loved her cast; there were times it was hard for her to get through the hallway because of all the people swarming their little trio. Marcy’s art was a major hit, just like she knew it would be, and Sasha didn’t miss a single chance to show it- and her girlfriend- off to the rest of the school.

A lot of people tried to sign it, or wanted to, but Sasha refused. The only names she wanted on it were hers, Marcy’s, and Anne’s. It felt too personal to let anyone else sign.

Other than that, school often dragged, not that she minded that much. The sense of normal that came from it was still nice, even if she couldn’t stay after school to join in cheer practice.

A couple of times, rather than her mom or dad picking her up, Anne and Marcy somehow convinced whichever parent to let them take her home. Which, of course, always resulted in a detour.

Once, to the park, where they squabbled over getting to push Sasha in the swing. (Sasha promptly shut that argument down by using her good foot to kick off and give herself a massive push.

Another, to that old antique shop, where everything started. That was a little bittersweet, she’ll admit, but it also meant a lot, considering how far they’ve come together.

Twice to Anne’s house, and once to Marcy’s.

Anne’s parents never let them leave without being full and bringing leftovers home. Plus her dad had a pretty fun fight with Anne using those fake sci-fi swords- Anne crushed him, though. He was a good sport about it.

Marcy’s mom, on the other hand, loved hearing about the girls and how their school was going, which was nice in its own way. She treated them to a delicious dessert and hugged each of them before they left.

And when the cast finally comes off, she takes it home with her.

Overall, those seven weeks weren’t too bad, Sasha thinks, remembering all of the little things her girlfriends did for her.

Not bad at all.

#amphibia #sashannarcy #sasha waybright #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #my fic

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thedamageofherdays · 3 years ago

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This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

#my reading log #r's reading log #fic rec #stucky fic rec #fics recs #stucky #danbeau #samrhodey #longpost #long post #clintasha #evanstan

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years ago

Text

ascendance - 03

PAIRING: mob!bucky barnes x reader

WARNINGS: abduction, age gap (reader is 23, bucky is 37)

A/N: it’s short and still not as exciting as it is about to become but we gotta build a ✨ foundation✨ first. hope you enjoy xx

> NEXT CHAPTER | MASTERLIST

Bucky was standing in the kitchen, back leaned against the counter of the kitchen with his eyes on the girl who was currently sat in his couch with a badly bandaged hand. He was never good at first aid, he hadn’t been good at it with his sister and he definitely hadn’t been good with her, yet he thought it would be best than let her bleed out onto her costume which she still hadn’t taken out and that included her wig. He knew what hair looked like, he could see it in the back of his mind from the dark costume room, her hair pushed back into the same hairstyle most of the girls in the opera house had. Yet he also knew that getting out of her costume was the last thing going in her mind despite him not knowing at all what was going on in her head. She just stood in silence, looking at the wall of the TV but the TV was off, despite the fact the remote was next to her.

What was he even supposed to do with her? He couldn’t tie her to the bed or hide her in the basement, he didn’t have a basement. Besides, he didn’t know whenever she’d actually be used as a trading chip so he didn’t know how long he would have to babysit her. How was he even supposed to do John’s bidding if he had to keep an eye on her? It wasn’t like he could leave, she would try to escape. Heck, she’d even try to escape when he was in the apartment. This was a mess, a mess he needed to clean, a mess he didn’t know how to clean.

The door bell was the first sound in that flat for 2 hours and he sighed out of relief he could finally leave and not have to stare at her and her Bambi like stare. Damned Billy.

- She’s a runner. - Bucky said as he opened the door, a stunned Billy walking in like a scared little mouse. - I’ll be gone for two hours. Make sure she’s okay, not bleeding and definitely not escaping.

Billy nodded his head like a bobble doll, standing stiff by the door as Bucky grabbed the keys to his bike and left. Y/N finally looked up, away from the wall and at Billy. He couldn’t be older than her, and if he were, he couldn’t be more than a year or two older than her. He had shaggy hair and eyes which were filled with insecurity and fear yet a facade of strength which he definitely did not have. She should’ve been mad at him, after all he was the one who misunderstood the assignment (whatever it was) and got her hostage. Yet, she merely saw a boy who was scared, perhaps as scared as she was.

- I’m Y/N. - she pipped up as if the two of them were co-workers who were just meeting.

- Billy.

- Is that a nickname or a name ... you know like Billy Bigelow.

- Billy Bigelow’s a wife beater. - he snickered. - My name’s William but they call me Billy.

- Do you like being called Billy? I can call you William if you want.

- Will.

- Pardon?

- I like being called Will but John said it sounds childish. - he clarified, slightly kicking the air like a petulant child.

- I like Will better. - she moved towards the end of the couch, patting the pillow next to her. - Do you wanna sit?

- He doesn’t like it when people sit in his couch.

- Well .. I’m sat in the couch and he didn’t say anything, besides, how would he even know you were sat in the couch.

There wasn’t much she knew about the man who had been overseeing her. She didn’t even knew his name other than the “Soldat” nickname she’d heard John call him. It wasn’t like she particularly cared about knowing him, after all he was the one who was keeping her hostage and he was also the one who had kept her alive. Yet, at this point she wondered if being alive was a faith worse than being dead. How bad is death anyway, she pondered. Maybe it hurts to leave, but it doesn’t hurt to stay dead. She wanted to believe in what he had told her, she wanted to believe that all of this was just a big nightmare, it was just a hiccup in her path. She was gonna go back, she was going back, she had to go back. She had no choice but to go back.

Her eyes lingered on the broken window, covered by a piece of cardboard tapped to the broken glass, a shattering reminder that she had failed at escaping, had failed at leaving. She should’ve fought harder to escape, she should’ve said no when the main soprano asked her for help. She should’ve just ... done what she was hired to do. The mere thought of the opera house made her eyes swell with tears. She had been so close.

- I’m sorry. - Will blurted out, his words causing her to immediately wipe her eyes before the tears could actually roll down. - I screwed up, didn’t mean to ruin your shot.

- That’s ... that’s fine. - she breathed out. - They’re gonna let me go at some point, right? They can’t keep me forever.

- Yeah, eventually someone else will screw up. - he scratched the back of his neck. - It’s nice he didn’t tie you down or handcuff you to the bed.

- It’s a nice ... arrangement, I guess.

- Do you wanna watch Carousel? It’s always rerunning on channel 6.

- Are we allowed to watch TV? If you’re not allowed on the couch, I doubt the TV is a yes.

- He won’t know.

The beginning of the film was bittersweet as it immediately took her back to better days. Back to when she rented her very first flat in New York while a sophomore at Julliard, when she only had her laptop and a few pillows which made the very old studio flat look like a home, she would sit down in the worn out mattress with her laptop and watch old golden age musicals dreaming of the time she would be on stage. The beginning notes of the overture only brought her back to nights when the rain was harshly falling down on the rain and she was sat in her, open books of several opera music theories lightened up by the low blue light of her laptop. She had fought so hard and she was going to fight even harder to get out of this. She was going to be back in those grounds and with heavy, sleep filled eyes, she swore she would get back to the stage.

Bucky parked the bike by the sidewalk, sighing as he realised he was not going to an empty home, the same empty home he had fought for. He liked peace and quiet, he liked to be surrounded by nothing but him and his thoughts yet now he had to come back to some girl staying in his house who was keen on breaking all off his windows. Just what he needed, someone coming into his home to fix the window. How was he going to achieve that?

He opened the door and threw the keys somewhere onto the table near the door. Billy was standing up by the couch, Carousel was playing on the TV and she was sleeping on the couch, surrounded by the fabric of the costume she still hadn’t taken off. Not that she had anything to change into.

- She’s sweet. - Billy rubbed the sole of his shoe against the ground.

- You think all girls are sweet. - Bucky walked to his kitchen, making himself a glass of whiskey. - You old enough to drink, kid?

- I have to drive back home.

- She behaved? - he moved the glass in her direction, eyes lingering a bit too long on her sleeping figure.

- She fell asleep mid the film. Hm ... I’m gonna go. Thanks for everything, Bucky, specially with John.

- You should get going, kid. Your mother and father will worry.

The sound of the closed door left the two of them alone once again. What was he supposed to do with her? How was he even supposed to do his ... his duties if he constantly needed someone to watch her so she doesn’t try to escape? Where is he even supposed to find someone to watch her? Kidnappingvictims babysitting.com? He sighed out of frustration, whipping his head in her direction almost upset she existed; yet, looking at her sleeping form calmed down his features.

He put the glass in the sink, walking to his couch where she was. Somehow he always ended up in tricky situations and this had to be in the top 5 worst decisions. Yet, she didn’t deserve dying, she didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t her fault any of this had happened. She was just at the wrong place, she was just somewhere she shouldn’t have been and Bucky couldn’t blame her for that. He put a hand on the couch and snaked an arm under her figure, lifting her up from the couch and holding her flush against his chest. Her head instinctually fell against his chest, nose nuzzling his black t-shirt.

There was nothing he could do now. In all honesty, he couldn’t think of anyone in his inner circle where she would be at least in safety. The group of people he hanged around weren’t particularly of high moral standards and he wasn’t a saint either, god, he was closer to being the devil than being a saint; yet, he knew things and he knew what awaited her if she had been assigned to anyone else. In his mind all of this would be over soon; either Billy or one of the newbies would screw up and get them in trouble with the police and then John would trade her in so he wouldn’t go to prison. It was only a matter of time.

He laid her down on his bed, pulling the comforter over her and taking a final look at her before exiting the room and taking to the couch. He pulled at the bottom of the furniture, the pillows unfolding to form a small bed which his feet would inevitably fall off, yet they didn’t make any bigger couches which turned into beds and he had never expected to have any company in his flat anyway. He too eventually fell asleep, lit by the low blue light of the TV.

The morning was a harsh reminder for Y/N that this whole situation was not a nightmare but her reality. Her hand pushed her torso off the bed, sleepish eyes looking around as she tried to figure out where she was. She didn’t remember falling asleep in a bed but that didn’t matter because she quickly realised she was alone. She couldn’t hear anything but the ambience sounds coming from the window. She was alone. As that thought registered, she kicked the comforter away from her body and settled her feet to the ground, rushing in silent steps to the door which she opened. Her eyes registered a clear path from where she was to the exit door whose chain was down. She bite on her lip before stepping out of the bedroom.

- Where are you going? - the familiar voice stopped her in her tracks. Y/N considered making a run from it but just as she convinced herself of that idea, he stepped in front of her, standing like a big wall keeping her from freedom. He looked her down, like a small, inoffensive prey. She thought of running once more, but she was smart enough to know he would easily overpower her. - Where are you going?

- Hm ... - think, anything, just think of anything. - The bathroom.

He scoffed, walking forward and towards her but she stepped back every time he got closer until her back hit the door. She stood there, small and wondering what to do as the man whose name she still did not know stood close to her, close enough she could almost feel the permeating heat coming from his body. His gloved fingers pinched her chin, pushing it up so her eyes looked into his. They were blue, a shade of blue she couldn’t really say she’d ever seen and maybe if she were in a different situation, she would’ve even said they were hypnotising. Yet, now, they just bore into hers, as if he was digging into her subconscious. He leaned closer, fingers still holding her chin up.

- Liar. - his voice was deep and husky, deep enough it sounded like a whisper. He let go of her chin, stepping back and returning to the kitchen while she remained against the door. - We had a deal.

- I know.

- Are you trying to get yourself killed, kid? - he asked in a dry voice.

- Don’t call me kid. - she didn’t know what else to say. What could she said after all? - It’s condescending.

- You didn’t answer me, Y/N. - he emphasised her name. It sounded almost wrong for him to be calling her that, yet she guessed it was better than kid. Sure, he was definitely older than her but she wasn’t young enough to be called kid. She couldn’t even recall the last time someone called her kid. - Are you trying to get yourself killed?

- No.

- Then what are you doing?

- I don’t know.

- You need to trust me.

- Why should I? I don’t know you, I don’t even know your name so why should I trust you? For all I know you could be lying to me.

- You think I wanna play babysitting with you? I would much rather have a free home than have you run around in costume. - he glared at her. - And you don’t need to know my name, you need to do what I tell you to do if you wanna come out of this alive.

- Well what if I don’t want to? - she narrowed her eyes.

- You want to fucking die? Is that it? - he sneered. - Because that would’ve saved the fucking headache that you’ve been.

- Maybe you should’ve killed me. You had no problem killing Tommy. - her words were mindless yet filled with some sort of anger. She didn’t realise what she had said until she saw his face.

His facade seemed to drop before his jaw clenched, eyes hardened as he raised his head to look her up and down. She held the knob of the door, ready to open it and escape into the bedroom but he didn’t do anything. He just looked at her, angry before he made a move yet he didn’t walk her direction, he merely opened the fridge to take a water bottle yet that look, that look still remained.

- What do you want from me? - she pried. - I had a life, you know. I had plans and ...

- So did I. You don’t wanna be a kid? Stop acting like one.

- My parents don’t know where I am. - she followed him into the kitchen. - I am their only child and I call them everyday. At least, let me call them, let me tell them I’m safe.

- I can’t, that’s not how things work.

- So what? You’re just gonna keep me here? Forever?

- Trust me, kid, it’s not exactly what I want either. It’s not my choice and it’s definitely not yours.

- I am not gonna stop trying to escape.

- Based on how well you’ve done so far, I wouldn’t hold my breathe.

TAGLIST: @lookiamtrying @buckyswillows @blossomslibrary @juliesland @iloveshawnieboi @unmagically @red-head011

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liberty-barnes · 4 years ago

Text

Just Breathe

Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!Bisexual!Reader

Summary: Childbirth waits for no one, not even the Oscars.

Warnings: fluuuuuff, pregnant reader, mentions of childbirth, good press articles, BISEXUAL READER WOOOHOOO

Word Count: 1.5k words

Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes

A/N: heeeeey look @peterspideyy @parkersbliss that crazy idea i ranted to you about like six months ago finally got done! i can’t believe i did it... this feels too good to be true, is the world gonna end or something?

Masterlist

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Me neither."

"Please, just stay here."

You looked up to your brother and husband, frowning as you smoothed your hand over the soft black fabric of your gown.

"I am not missing the Oscars, Tom. I've still got two weeks until I'm due, it'll be fine."

You sat down on the bed and looked dejectedly at your shoes, then proceeded to throw puppy dog eyes your brother's way until Harrison had no choice but to kneel and help you put on your comfortable trainers. There's no way you're putting on your heels at 37 weeks of pregnancy.

"But what if Baby decides to come sooner? You could go into labour at any moment!"

You rolled your eyes and only raised your arms so they could help you out of bed.

"You guys are being over-dramatic. Nothing's gonna happen. We're just going to the Oscars, we'll have a good time, and hopefully, I'll leave with a little statue under my arm."

With that, you waddled out of your hotel room, ready to get into the limo.

---

"(Y/n)! It's so good to see you! You look radiant as always!"

You smiled at Kaitlyn, an interviewer you knew and trusted and rubbed your belly comfortingly.

"Thank you, I feel like a whale, but Baby'll be here soon so it's worth it."

She smiled and asked you a bunch of questions about your movie and how you were feeling about being nominated for Best Actress.

"But anyway, how far along are you now?"

"I'm a little over 37 weeks, they should be coming soon. Tom and Haz were actually really apprehensive about me coming here since I'm so close to my due date."

She smiled and looked over at the two men, obviously on edge.

"Well, I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you win."

You hugged her goodbye and posed for a few more pictures before being led inside by your husband.

---

"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for..."

Everyone watched with bated breath as Brie Larson, last year's winner, got ready to announce who would take home the trophy.

"This year's winner, and taking home the Oscar for best actress in a leading role..."

Tom took your hand and you squeezed it tight, ready to applaud one of the other amazing actresses on their win.

"(Y/n) Holland, for her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin!"

You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest, run to that stage, kiss Brie, then promptly burst to flames out of sheer, unadulterated enthusiasm. Tom was hugging you and whispering how much you deserved it while your brother gently guided you to the podium. None of them would ever allow you to go up there on your own. Always one in front of you in case you trip forward and one behind you to catch you if you fall back.

Overprotective much?

As soon as you reached Brie, you hugged her tight (or as tight as you could with a human baby house separating you), taking the award while the two boys hugged her too.

"Holy Louis Tomlinson in a crop top."

The audience laughed, most of them already familiar with your strange One Direction inspired expressions.

"Wow, I didn't actually think I was gonna win this, everyone had such amazing performances. I-It's an honour, really. Two Sides of the Same Coin was a project very near and dear to my heart, so I'd like to thank the amazing Drew Barrymore, who wrote and directed the movie."

The room erupted in cheers and the woman smiled at you from her place on the front row.

"Bisexual representation is something we don't get very often, and when we do, it's always misjudged. So thank you for showing the world what bisexuality really is, and for giving me a chance to live out my dreams of kissing lots of people. This idiot tied me down too soon."

You pointed behind you at Tom, hearing his appalled squeak along with Harrison's guffaw of a laugh.

In other news, the baby was starting to inconvenience you slightly. Baby had been going crazy since last night (not that you'd tell the boys) and the Braxton-Hicks were killing you, but it only got worse now.

"I'd also like to thank my amazing costars, Zendaya, Bella Thorne, and Owen Patrick Joyner, it was awesome to make out with you all..."

The crowd laughed while you felt something trickle down your legs.

Oh.

OH.

You'll never live this down, that's for sure.

"Uh, before I finish can one of you idiots call the car and get them to come to the exit please and thank you? Now as I was saying-"

"Wait, why?"

You turned to your brother and smiled innocently.

"Oh, my water just broke."

The crowd cheered.

Tom screamed.

Harrison fell to the floor, unconscious.

You sighed.

"New plan, can anyone try to wake my brother while my hus-"

You looked at Tom, frantically doing small back and forths between you and his best friend, unsure of what to do.

"-While someone else calls the car because both of them are apparently useless."

"We need to get you to the hospital!"

His terrified scream could be heard all through the room, even with no mic.

"What? No! I need to finish my acceptance speech, then go back to the hotel to shower and maybe take a little nap and then go to the hospital. My water just broke, Thomas, we have time, calm your tits."

You turned back fully to the mic, facing the hysteric faces of the crowd, very entertained by the exchange.

"Now as I was saying, I want to thank the amazing team that worked on this movie, you're all amazing and it was such a good experience. I'd also like to thank my family for always being there for me and supporting me and Haz in our acting careers. Thank you to my brother, even if he's unconscious right now, he'll just watch it on Youtube later, for literally forcing me to go to the audition. And lastly, I'd like to thank my wonderful husband, who hopefully hasn't passed out yet, for always supporting me and being my biggest rock through everything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff."

---

An Oscar in hand and another... down her legs?

(Y/n) Holland sure gave the Oscars something to be entertained by on this last Saturday. The wife of fellow actor Tom Holland looked radiant in her custom-made Valentino dress, looking ready for a night of fun.

(Y/n) was nominated for this year's Best Actress in a Leading Role award, alongside Meryl Streep, Margot Robbie, Cate Blanchett, and Tessa Thompson, but the Oscar went to her from her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin. But it was during her acceptance speech that things got... slippery.

At 37 weeks of pregnancy, the Holland baby was ready to come at any minute, but apparently, theatrics run in the family. The actress was in the middle of her speech when she felt her water break, pausing in her talking to request a car be called.

You'd think her husband, Tom, and brother Harrison Osterfield, overprotective as they are, would be fully prepared! Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for our entertainment, they were not. Harrison went unconscious after hearing the news, dropping to the floor and earning himself a minor concussion, much to his sister's amusement

[image1-harrison-ice-pack.png]

@ynholland: "Don't worry, when you go into labour, I'll be with you every step of the way." Said Harrison Osterfield, then proceeded to pass out, get a minor concussion, and miss the whole delivery.😂 Good job, little bro👍

And just when you thought she couldn't get any better, she finishes her acceptance speech with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff." We have no choice but to stan this iconic queen!

But for the news you've all been waiting for, Oscar Robert Holland (yes, the middle name is a homage to Robert Downey Jr. himself, we're not crying, you are!) was born just twelve hours later. Tom let know through a beautiful Instagram picture that he is in fact "perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already".

[image2-tom-and-oscar.png]

@tomholland2013: I present to you, my best creation to this date: Oscar Robert Holland. Thank you all for your prayers and kind messages, our boy is perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already❤️

But of course, Uncle Haz wouldn't stay behind.

[image3-haz-and-oscar.png]

@hazosterfield: Since I know you've all been worried sick and desperate to know how the baby is... I'm doing just fine, it's just a minor concussion :) Oh and my godson's great too.

And just to prove that the Osterfields are indeed the royal family of comedy, we leave with this wonderful picture posted to the happy mum's very own Instagram.

[image4-yn-and-oscars.png]

@ynholland: Guess I was so good they gave two Oscars instead of one ;)

-Written by Kaitlyn Storm

so anyway, Two Sides of the Same Coin is a movie idea i got a while ago and should maybe try to write one of these days but oh well or something. anyway, i’m not gonna rant about it here cause it’d be too long but i hope you enjoyed this and don’t forget to like/comment/reblog if you feel like it!

-Love, Miah

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you)

PERMA TAG

@adriannajackson123 @theamazingtomholland @inlovewithmobtom @andycanbeemotional @officiallyunofficialperson @lost-in-the-stars03 @jeezkiddo @a-singleboat @wunder-13 @highlydisfunctional1 @ellyseveronica @inthecornerchair @harishaanne @anjalika03 @lozzypoz321 @mendes-marvel @sovereignparker @bubbles-the-powerpuffgurl

MARVEL ACTORS

@sarcasticallywitty15 @agentnataliahofferson @onelovesr @agentnataliahofferson @parkerpetertingle @juliebean247 @frustratingpaperclip @tacobacoyeet

HOLLAND & CO.

@sarcasticallywitty15 @agentnataliahofferson @onelovesr @agentnataliahofferson @zeusmyster @parkerpetertingle @juliebean247 @joyleenl @quaksonhehe @clara-licht @frustratingpaperclip @tutuabby28 @tacobacoyeet

LGBTQ+

@quaksonhehe

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secretobsessionstuff · 3 years ago

Note

i loved your anxiety fic so much!

if it’s not too much trouble could you write a similar one for anxious!Madix and caretaker!Riley using 4,37, 61, 85 from the sickee list please?

Ah I'm so glad you liked it! The lines come from THIS lovely post and I used:

4. “I-I need to sit down.”

37. "Thank you for taking care of me."

61. “M’ gn’a throw up ‘gain.”

85. "Please make it stop."

Content Warning: Anxiety Attack! Graphic description of vomiting.

-----------------

The restaurant was warm and dimly lit. On top of having just eaten a heavy meal and rich dessert, Riley was feeling sleepy. His social battery was running out, but Madix’s family did not appear tired in the least. They chatted and laughed even when the waitress cleared away all the plates. There were only steaming cups of coffee left on the table.

Conversation with Madix’s cousin did not come so easy anymore, but Riley pushed on because the party wasn’t dying down. It was Madix’s mom’s fiftieth birthday and the Gallaghers decided to celebrate by reserving the entire half of the restaurant for the evening. The many relatives crammed together on two long tables. Thankfully Riley sat at the end of one. Well technically Madix had the last spot, but his chair had been empty for quite some time now.

While vaguely listening to someone’s story, Riley looked around the area. Madix wasn’t at the other table. He wasn’t anywhere in sight. Riley wished Madix would come back to his seat soon because he could only fake his way through social interactions for so long.

Usually, Madix had no problem carrying the conversation. All Riley ever had to do was sit back and listen to other people talk. It was nice especially in situations like these when he didn’t know many people here. But Madix had been quiet, even while surrounded by his family. It was disconcerting yet not too surprising. Riley had a terrible sense of what might be wrong. This wasn’t Madix’s first time retreating into himself. The dissociating and far off looks in Madix’s eyes had gotten more frequent recently.

“Hey, Riley, where’s my brother?” Gavin asked from across the table. Gavin was of course Madix’s younger brother. His hair was a similar chocolate brown to Madix’s but shorter. He still had a baby face despite being a college student. “My mom wants do to pictures soon.”

Riley made a show of looking around. “I’m not sure. Bathroom maybe?”

“Still?”

Riley shrugged. He wouldn’t let the worry show on his face. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. It’s not like he needs to be in every picture, anyway.”

Gavin chuckled at that. “You don’t know my mom that well.”

“Okay, well I can go and check on—”

“Ah there he is!” Gavin announced. A second later, Madix was standing over them. He planted both of his hands firmly on the table but didn’t sit down. Riley didn’t like the glazed looked in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Finally,” Gavin said, addressing his brother. “Mom is asking about you. She wants to do pictures.”

Madix spoke as if he were out of breath. ‘Not right now, Gav.” He didn’t even look at his younger brother.

“What? I’m not the one asking. Are you going to tell—”

“Gavin. I said later.”

With a huff, Gavin stood up to leave. “Fine, but I’m not telling mom.”

Once his brother left, Madix dropped his head to his chin. It really did look like he ran around the world in a matter of minutes. Riley touched his boyfriend’s hand. “Are you okay?”

Madix shook his head, making his hair sway in front of his brow. “Will you come outside with me?” he mumbled.

Riley was on his feet before Madix could finish the last syllable. They walked quickly with their heads down so that no one could stop them on the way out.

Once outside, Madix put his hands on his knees and breathed heavily. He didn’t stay in that position for long. He switched to pacing with his hands behind his head. Then with his hands on his hips. His body didn’t stop moving.

“It’s happening again,” Madix said with his eyes closed. “Like someone pressed fast forward on everything.”

Riley already knew what was happening. “Okay. You know what to do. You just have to breathe and—”

“I hate this,” Madix said with a quiver in his voice. He sounded angry and scared. With the same nervous energy, Madix walked over to the wall and pushed his palm against the bricks. It must have been bad because Riley was usually able to help him breathe through it. It didn’t look like Madix wanted to breathe with him this time. “Please make it stop, Riley. Make it stop.”

“I can’t do anything until you look at me and breathe.” Riley gave Madix his space to move, even though he desperately wanted to touch Madix’s back. The boy did not turn around. His breathing did not get better. “You’re going to make yourself sick again, baby.”

Madix pushed his hand harder against the wall until the rough edges bit into his skin. He hoped the pain would take his mind off…his mind. And his roiling stomach. He wanted to kill all the unpleasant sensations with something that he could control. All throughout the party, Madix felt that familiar ache in his chest. Silently and slowly, the panic tightened in his ribcage. It was pressure and heat. By the time that the anxiety got to its peak, Madix was boiling in the pot and couldn’t jump out.

Since the first incident at Micah and Alexi’s house, Madix had been dreading another episode. And another one did happen while he and Riley had been at home. Just at home. That was the worst part. He was supposed to be safe and comfortable at home, but his heart didn’t feel comfortable in his chest anymore.

No, that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that it was the fear of anxiety itself that caused the attack. He had officially entered the vicious cycle.

The anxiety that built up inside of him during dinner was sick of being trapped in his throat and his chest. It wanted out. It decided to force its way out through his mouth—not with words but with the food that curdled in his belly.

Madix let out a deep retch. With one hand, he braced himself against the wall as his stomach convulsed again. Thick vomit splattered in front of his shoes. It grated his throat on the way up. He moaned. Seconds after, his stomach gave another lurch, sending up smaller gush.

Riley jumped at the torrent of sick that rushed out of Madix’s mouth. He turned his back on the scene for only a moment, allowing the time to compose himself. It didn’t take long. Soon, he was rubbing Madix’s trembling back. Riley understood now that circumstances played a big part in his fear. It was Madix and he wasn’t just sick; he was trapped in his head and needed someone to pull him out. The vomiting was just another thing that Riley could help with. And he helped by making his presence known.

“I’m right here, Madix,” he said softly. “You’re not alone.”

Madix panted over the pile of sick that he made. Saliva dripped from his lips. “It’s going so fast, Riley.”

“It’ll pass. You know it will.” Riley knew at this point that ‘going fast’ was referring to Madix’s thoughts and his perception of the world. His thoughts were so busy that it distorted everything else. “Take a deep breathe, for me.”

Madix did as he was told. He inhaled, letting the air expand his chest. Even just that act gave him the illusion that his chest wasn’t so tight. He slowly exhaled, letting it drag the world back to its proper speed. With each breath, his heart rate slowed as well. There was still a roiling mess in his belly, but he was able to push away from the wall and face his boyfriend.

Riley grabbed his hands. “Is it getting better?”

“A little,” Madix mumbled.

“How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy.” Madix frowned as he began to sway towards Riley. “I-I need to sit down.”

Luckily, there was a bench around the corner, so Riley led them over to it. He crouched in front of Madix who sat with his elbows on his knees. He rubbed at Madix’s thighs while the boy buried his face in his hands.

“I don’t feel good,” he said with his hands muffling his voice. “I can’t go back in there.”

“There’s no rush.” Riley said. “Take all the time you need.”

Madix let out a shaly exhale. He sounded close to tears when he spoke. “Why is this happening, Riley?”

There was no simple answer. Riley knew what his textbooks would tell him, but it didn’t work so well in real life, not when there were a million variables and triggers to think of.

He knew that Madix didn’t get much sleep. He knew that his job was stressful. He knew that med students survived on coffee. Anything and nothing could have been causing this. “I’m not sure. But this is your third attack in a month. It might be time to talk to someone who’s more qualified than me.”

Madix moaned into his hands.

“Hey, it’s not that bad,” Riley assured him. “It’ll help to talk about what might be triggering you. It’ll be good for you.”

He moaned again.

“Well, you won’t get anywhere with that attitude.”

Madix shook his head. “No, it’s not—” his throat worked as he swallowed thickly. “…M’ gn’a throw up ‘gain.”

Riley’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh right. I should probably move.” He quickly stood up from his crouched position and took the spot next to Madix on the bench.

Madix spread his legs just as the vomit came rushing past his lips. His stomach was unsettled from the first round, and now it just had to empty itself of his heavy meal. There was enough on his mind, that his body couldn’t focus on digestion at the moment.

“Oh, babe,” Riley cooed as the wave of sick splattered on the sidewalk. He, of course, did not watch the puddle grow at their feet. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”

Madix burped up a small mouthful of bile before wiping his mouth. His nose was running, but at least it wasn’t his thoughts that ran anymore. He sniffled while leaning back against the bench. His hand found Riley’s without trouble. His boyfriend’s hands were warm compared to his that were freezing. It was a good heat. “It helps that you’re here. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’ll always be here.” Riley lifted Madix’s hand to kiss it. “I promise.”

#emeto #emetophilia #emeto fic #sickfic #emeto fiction #emetophile #panic attack #anxiety attack #anxiety #tw anxiety attack #my ocs #Madix #Riley #vomiting #vomit kink #belly kink #puking #puke without plot

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qitwrites · 3 years ago

Text

⬅ Previous || 22 || Next ➡

Present Mic [6:17] i wonder what the new class 1a will be like

Eraserhead [6:25] Don’t get too attached

Eraserhead [6:27] I’ll probably expel them all before the end of the first week

Present Mic [6:29] SHOTA NO

Eraserhead [6:33] lol

---

Present Mic [10:09] are you free in the afternoon?

Eraserhead [10:23] No

Present Mic [10:25] are you saying no just for the sake of it or because youre actually busy?

Eraserhead [10:32] Does it matter?

Present Mic [10:35] it’s the principle of the thing

Present Mic [10:37] i know you luv me

Eraserhead [10:42] still a no

Present Mic [10:44] youre no fun

Eraserhead [10:55] I know. And with my luck, the troublemakers will probably raze the school to the ground.

Present Mic [10:57] youre such a ray of sunshine

Eraserhead [11:03] I’ve been burned too many times. I do not trust them. At all.

Present Mic [11:06] fair enough. well, I was going to invite you out to that new cat café that opened up nearby, but since youre busy I’ll probably take vlad or something.

Eraserhead [11:08] Let the school burn.

Present Mic [11:10] AHAHAHAHAHA

Present Mic [11:13] Meet me at the gate at 12:30, we both have a long lunch today.

---

Present Mic [9:10] your kids are something else

Eraserhead [9:22] Not my kids. And yes. They are something else.

Eraserhead [9:25] Definitely not human. Too problematic for that.

Eraserhead [9:27] Gremlins. The lot of them.

Present Mic [9:30] rein it in Shota, I can feel the love from across the phone

Eraserhead [9:35] hahaha no

Present Mic [9:37] L(*OεV*)E

Eraserhead [9:40] You are literally 30 years old, why are you using emoticons?

Present Mic [9:42] 1) Emoticons are ageless you grandpa

Present Mic [9:44] 2) who even calls them emoticons lol

Eraserhead [9:48] Go away

Present Mic [9:50] nah, you’d miss me too much and then die of loneliness

Present Mic [9:52] or boredom

Present Mic [9:54] or both

Present Mic [9:55] and I DO NOT want to take charge of your gremlins sorry

Eraserhead [9:58] how do you manage to give me a headache over the phone?

Present Mic [10:01] LOL im just super duper special Shota you know this already

Eraserhead [10:04] I hate everything

Present Mic [10:07] everything but me

Present Mic [10:07] <3

---

Present Mic [3:19] I thin k I saw

Present Mic [3:20] Aoyama fling himself at Ojiro

Present Mic [3:22] and Ojiro didn’t even?? Blink???

Present Mic [3:25] just caught him, adjusted his grip and then put him down and went about his day

Present Mic [3:26] wth????

Eraserhead [3:33] Don’t even ask

---

Eraserhead [2:12] Don’t go to the gym in Building D

Present Mic [2:15] ok but like

Present Mic [2:16] why?????

Eraserhead [2:19] class 1a meets watermelons

Present Mic [2:22] what does that even mean

Eraserhead [2:25] You don’t want to know

Eraserhead [2:27] Trust me

Present Mic [2:30] lol okie i’ll get the deets from you later anyway :P

---

Present Mic [11:23] I know you’re in the hospital right now so you wont see this and you cant respond

Present Mic [11:26] I’m sitting next to you as I type this actually

Present Mic [11:27] you look like a ridiculous mummy man btw

Present Mic [11:31] but im so proud of you Shota

Present Mic [11:32] You saved every one of your kids and it nearly cost you your life

Present Mic [11:35] and I hate you for almost dying

Present Mic [11:37] But you did so good

Present Mic [11:40] come back soon ok?

---

Eraserhead [8:17] Hey

Eraserhead [8:18] Thanks again for babysitting Eri so last minute

Eraserhead [8:19] How is she?

Present Mic [8:21] don’t say thank you ew

Present Mic [8:22] I love this girl I’ll watch her any time you want me to

Present Mic [8:24] she’s doing good! need to use my indoor voice though, she scares too easily

Eraserhead [8:27] If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask

Eraserhead [8:29] And get her to bed soon

Present Mic [8:30] Shota

Present Mic [8:31] we went over this

Present Mic [8:33] u literally told me everything I need to know and then some

Present Mic [8:34] u also gave me the letter with all the details so im fine, we’re both fine

Present Mic [8:35] if youre on break, do you want to say goodnight real quick?

Eraserhead [8:47] thanks Hizashi

Present Mic [8:48] ew

Present Mic [8:50] but youre welcome <3

---

Eraserhead [10:15] Hey, where are you?

Eraserhead [10:17] Satou made a rainbow croquembouche, and it’s really good

Eraserhead [10:19] ive got the whole thing to the teachers lounge

Present Mic [10:23] IM SORRY A WHAT NOW?

Eraserhead [10:27] <image attached>

Present Mic [10:28] OH WOW YOU LITERALLY MEANT A RAINBOW CROQUEMBOUCHE

Present Mic [10:29] that’s??? amazing??????

Eraserhead [10:33] Tastes better than it looks

Present Mic [10:35] lies

Present Mic [11:42] so turns out you weren’t lying

Eraserhead [12:59] HA

Eraserhead [1:01] Told you

---

Present Mic [7:12] hey you ok?

Present Mic [7:13] you just walked by me with a serious look on your face

Eraserhead [7:34] Yeah im fine

Eraserhead [7:35] just caught some problem children making s’mores over Todoroki

Present Mic [7:37] uh huh

Present Mic [7:38] I mean

Present Mic [7:40] its kinda ingenious if you think about it

Eraserhead [7:42] That’s the part that bugs me

Eraserhead [7:43] I need a raise

Present Mic [7:45] lol don’t we all

---

Eraserhead [4:32] Hey

Present Mic [4:40] Hey

Eraserhead [4:42] I don’t say this enough, but Im here for you

Eraserhead [4:43] Always

Present Mic [4:53] I know

Present Mic [4:56] Thanks

Eraserhead [4:58] Never have to thank me Hizashi

Eraserhead [5:00] I’ve got your back

---

Present Mic [6:12] so I just saw some of the problem kids in the courtyard

Eraserhead [6:20] …. And?

Present Mic [6:23] and our resident fave angry blond was perched on top of strong boy Kirishima

Eraserhead [6:29] AND?

Present Mic [6:33] And I heard something about Bakugou’s quirk and human jetpack

Eraserhead [6:35] oh no

Eraserhead [6:37] oh no

Present Mic [6:40] just thought I’d let you know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Eraserhead [9:03] 2 ankle sprains, second degree burns and 1.4 singed eyebrows

Eraserhead [9:06] I hate everything

---

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pagingevilspawn · 3 years ago

Text

how's your heart after breaking mine?

ts x jolex week 21

day one: fearless - mr. perfectly fine (taylor's verion) (from the vault)

wc: 2.5k

pairing: Jo Wilson/Alex Karev. Alex Karev/Izzie Steven (mentioned)

summary: years after they last saw each other, jo and alex reunite at a conference, and while she is still struggling from her heartache, he seems to be mr. perfectly fine.

rating: general audiences

category: angst.

warnings: angst, no happy ending, alcohol consumption.

A/N: guess who finished this just now? me. that's who. I was actually working on this one long before the announcement for this event came out, but it gave me the motivation to continue this! Alex is unintentionally an ass in this and for that, i’m sorry. Anyways… hope you enjoy! (first part's pretty crappy, but after that it gets better.)

(this was also proofread, like...once, so of there are a plethora of errors i apologize)

____

The absolute last thing Jo wanted right now was to attend a medical conference in Salt Lake City, Utah. There were multiple reasons why she should’ve said no. One; she had just started her second year of her OB GYN residency a few weeks prior, and there were a very limited number of lectures on her new line of study where she was headed. Two; she now held an absolute hatred for the Seattle Tacoma International Airport, since it was the place where her ex-husband stood before her, placed a soft kiss on her lips and promised to see her in a couple of weeks, lying to her face about seeing his mother in Iowa, when in reality he was going to see his ex-wife and kids, never really planning on returning home.

It was ironic really; how not even two years ago, she was standing in front of gate 48, saying goodbye to him, and now she stood in the same spot, in front of the exact same gate, with him nowhere near her side as she glared up at the same exact entrance she last saw him at.

(She also now hated the number forty-eight)

But, since Meredith had been hounding her non-stop about attending this event, she gave in. Because how was she supposed to say no to the woman who had barely survived the pandemic? Along with a plethora of other things she was too lazy to memorize. (The answer was that she couldn’t. She felt guilty for leaving Meredith behind for OB, so she now did whatever her former mentor wanted, even if more than two years had passed) If Meredith Grey asked for something, Meredith Grey got it. She was turning back into the intern who cried fake tears and would do anything to earn her approval, and Jo was not a fan.

“It’ll be good for you Wilson. You need to leave that loft of your’s and go somewhere Wilson, blah blah blah,” she mutters to herself as she shows the attendant her ticket, not even bothering to return the smile, settling on brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear instead. The messy bun on the top of her head bounced in place, and she felt like a college student after a night of studying, but rather than books tucked under her arm it was a neck pillow and a carry-on.

She shuffles into her seat, thankful that it was an aisle one before letting her eyes shut, trying to catch a wink of sleep in an attempt to make up for the less than few hours she had gotten the night before. It proves to be unsuccessful, because the businessman sitting next to her ate his chips so loud she had to restrain herself from coiling into herself every time a chip crunched beneath his teeth, and the toddler behind her continuously managed to kick her seat, no matter how many times his mother told him to stop.

After three hours of loud chewing, seat kicking, and crying babies, she lands in Salt Lake, taking in a deep breath when she finally escapes the crowded airport and is met with humid air. She picks up her rental car, and arrives at her hotel not long after, immediately tossing her bags into the corner and sprawling onto the bed. Eventually, she moves to unpack her clothes and other necessities, casting a glance at the clock which read 10:37.

Taking a look around the room, she decided that nothing more needs to be done; all of her makeup is laid out for the morning, and what she chose to wear is already hanging up in the closet, freshly ironed and wrinkle-free. She yawns, crawling under the covers and flicking off the light, sleep coming easily.

When she wakes up the next morning to her alarm clock going off, she’s freshly rested and in a better mood than she normally was when she had to wake up before nine. The early morning sun beats down onto her face, and she knows that if she wanted to get to the first lecture on time, she needed to start getting ready sooner rather than later.

With a sigh, she begrudgingly gets out of bed, hopping in a quick shower and changing into her clothes. She adds some soft waves to her hair, in the hopes that it made her look more put together than she felt. It didn’t seem that just because she got hours of sleep made up for the fact that she would rather be curled up in the soft sheets of her bed at home than the stiff ones the hotel provided.

It doesn’t take long until she’s arrived in the lobby, where doctors all around her were dressed in firmly pressed suits and skirts. Tables advertising different events throughout the day were lined up and down the hallways, fellow surgeons and mentees passing out little pamphlets with information about their courses littering the pages.

Jo passes by a few stands displaying lectures on the OBGYN field, mentally making a list of the ones she would like to attend.

A quick glance to her watch tells her that the first item on her list was starting soon, and with that she dumps the now-empty coffee cup she had ordered a few minutes prior as a pick-me-up, and shuffles into the seat of the auditorium, the chairs around her filling up quicker than she expects.

It’s only a few minutes later Dr. Maria Cavanaugh steps out onto the stage, silencing the crowd after a round of applause. Jo leans back into her seat, feeling grateful that Meredith had pushed her to go to this conference.

If her whole weekend is spent listening to experts talk and teach about her new specialty, she thinks she’s going to enjoy it.

____

It’s hours and a multitude of lectures later when she exits another grand room, fellow surgeons beside her chatting about the new information they’d acquired. She feels a small smile grace her lips as she realizes that the excited squeals could only come from the med school students that had been invited from the nearby college.

She pulls out her phone, seeing a text from Link and Meredith, both along the lines of that they hoped she arrived safely and that she enjoyed her time away from home. She responds, pocketing her phone and making her way to the hotel bar, settling into one of the few empty seats and ordering a whiskey sour, thanking the bartender when it's placed in front of her not even a minute later.

She sips the drink slowly, feeling some leftover tenseness from sitting all day leave her body as the alcohol starts to flow through her veins. She was far from drunk, but even saying tipsy felt like too much of a stretch.

Pleasantly buzzed, she decides on, taking another sip of her drink, making a brief second of eye contact with a man on the other end of the bar. He raises her glass with a slight nod of his head, and she does the same. She’s tempted to continue; take use of the way the man’s making subtle glances to the seat next to him when her ears pick up another conversion from a few feet away, freezing her in place, glass nearly dropping to the floor.

“Do you want anything?”

“Just a water’s fine. I’m gonna go talk to Dr. Conwell about some of the research her and her team were talking about.”

She turns in her seat, against her better judgment. She watches as he kisses her cheek before leaning against the bar’s counter a few feet away.

She feels as if ice had just been dropped down her back —frozen in place, unable to move as she watches Alex drum his fingers on the dark wood, head nodding along to the soft tune playing through the speakers. He grabs his drinks from the bartender; two waters, one with ice and one without, about to walk towards the woman he was with earlier when he spots her.

“Jo?” he questions, blinking multiple times as if to see if it was really her, and not a trick of the light.

She wants to run when he makes his way over to her. She wants to run, and scream, and throw her drink in his face. But instead, she places a tight, thin smile on her lips and acts as if nothing was wrong.

“Alex, hi!” She turns to face him, her voice too high for her enthusiasm to be true, but if he knows it he doesn’t make any move to show it.

He runs a hand through his hair —it's longer than the last time she saw it, a bit of grey speckled in so lightly that it wouldn’t be noticeable to someone who wasn’t looking.”I uh, I didn't know you’d be here.”

She wants to roll her eyes, but refrains. “Well,” she spins her drink with the straw, watching as the ice cubes clink against the glass “The feeling’s mutual.”

“How are you?” He asks after a few beats of silence, and she wants nothing more than to yell at him that he couldn’t talk to her like this —like they were old friends who had lost contact after a while, and were due for a catch up. Because they weren’t old friends. They were so far from friends that someone could build a bridge with the amount of space they had between them.

“Fine,” she lies through her teeth, her heart nearly beating out of her chest in nervousness. She was worried that she was going to break down at any second, spew the words that she had said to Carly in anger at him if he looked at her any longer as if things were okay between them.

“You?” she questions, not interested in the answer, sipping her drink similarly to how she had the night of Bailey’s wedding, the unwelcome memory of the start of their relationship blossoming to the front of her mind.

He sips his water, “Good. I’ve been good.”

With his hand clasped around the glass she catches sight of the pristine, shiny gold ring that sits on his fourth finger, and she has to fight back the growing lump in her throat that threatens to escape.

“Congrats,” she says instead, eyebrows pinched together as she nods towards the ring, a tell that always told whether or not her words rang true.

He seems to have forgotten that, and takes her words as a compliment. He gives her a small smile, “Thanks.”

Jo wants to laugh, because this was so far from the Alex Karev she had known, the man in front of her unfamiliar and so, so different from the one she married years ago. The Alex she knew would’ve never ordered a water instead of a beer, or act as if everything was okay between them when it was so far from it.

He’d changed, and she couldn’t say that she liked it.

“How are the kids?” she asks, and she can tell that she’s surprised him. He looks taken aback for a moment, before smiling gently and reaching into his pocket for his phone. “They’re great,” he says, pulling up a photo of them, the twins smiling brightly into the camera.

“That was at their birthday party last week,” he explains, and she notices the large 7 balloons that are floating in the background.

“He looks like you,” she comments about the boy. He grins, and she wants nothing more than to slap him for not being able to see that she’s so obviously hurting, that her heart is breaking inside of her chest. That she selfishly wants him to say that he made a mistake, that he was in love with her, not Izzie. But her life wasn’t a trashy romance novel, and even if it was, Alex was never one to admit to his faults, his pride and ego too large to have it bruised in such a way.

She had always wondered what he had been up to after he had left. If he was okay. She’d imagined different futures for him, some including Izzie and the kids, some of them not. She’s even naively envisioned ones with her and the children they had always talked about having one day.

Somedays, when she was feeling worse for wear, she had wished that he was miserable —that he and Izzie weren’t together and as far as they went communication-wise was a phone call to see who had the kids that week; that he was as alone and bitter as she was.

But instead, here he was, Mr. Perfectly Fine. The man who had looked her in the eyes and told her he would never go away.

Here he was, Mr. Perfectly Fine. Married to the woman he had left her for, a shiny gold ring on his finger instead of neat, polished wood.

For the past two years she’d been picking up the pieces of herself that he had shattered and left behind, only just starting to put herself back together, and here he was, Mr. Perfectly Fine. While she was piecing together her shattered heart, he was picking up her, the woman he had left her for.

She had thought that he was different from the rest; different from everyone who had ever left her. But he wasn’t —the man she had thought was so different was so exactly the same as everyone else.

“I’m sorry, Jo.” he says, and she has the urge to laugh —laugh because he wasn’t sorry, she could tell. He was sorry that he left her and caused her pain, sure. But he wasn’t sorry that he had done it, that he had married Izzie again and lived with her and his kids on a farm in the middle of Kansas. He wasn’t sorry about that at all.

Mr. Insincere Apology so he didn’t look like the bad guy.

She acts as if she believes him, giving him another tight smile, and lies through her teeth once more. “It’s fine Alex. It’s in the past.”

Jo checks phone, making a face when she ‘realizes’ the time, eager to get out of there as soon as she could. “I need to go, early morning,” she fibs, and she internally rolls her eyes at how he believes her. While he seemed to have forgotten everything about her, she still remembers every detail about him.

“It was nice seeing you again Jo,” he’s playing with the sleeves of his jacket and his eyes meet hers, and for less than a second it’s almost enough to break her resolve.

Another tight smile graces her lips, and she begins to walk away when her body fights her mind and she finds herself leaning down, her lips against his ear.

“I’m glad it was worth it, Alex.”

Her voice is harsh and bitter, yet broken, and she doesn’t need to look at him to know that his face has fallen, and he’s realized that everything she’d told him that night was a lie. She turns and lets the tears fall silently, making her way back up to her room with a head full of thoughts about her ex-husband, about Alex Karev.

About Mr. Perfectly Fine.

____

@thejolexgroupchat #tsjolexweek21

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