#anyway this pen is so beautiful im gonna ride this high for a while

[fulcrvm]

good news: i have been gifted a beautiful parker sonnet fountain pen and its a lot of fun to draw and write with

bad news: i am too tired to draw anything more than sketchbook studies :((

[holidcy]

i am actually embarrassed to say how long this intro too me to write out ? so im not gonna say it ! it’s not like it took be 3 hours or anything 👀 . and for what ? idk because this intro is a mess . but anyways ... i’m mia , i’m a whole twenty years old which really just feels like a glorified teenager but whatever , we’re not here to talk about that right now . we’re here to talk about my lil baby holly . guys she is literally the sweetest human ever ? but also ? to sensitive for her own good and really the good of those around her ? very happy feet energy coming form this girl . but without further ado , below you can read up on holly & if you wanna plot give this a like . also my discord is 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 if you wanna plot there or just generally chat !

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: holiday elena addams nickname: holly ( she’s basically turned this into her name , not one really calls her holiday ) , holls , elle ( by her parents ) birthday: june 3rd birthplace: chicago , illinois hometown: highland park , illinois ( although the family home was located in highland park her parents would in chicago and holly even attended private school in chicago ) residence: new york city , new york nationality: american ( est. 1999 through birth )  ethnicity: english ( maternal & paternal , 50% ) , polish ( maternal , 25% ) , spanish ( paternal , 25% ) religion: catholicism  orientation: heterflexible ( she claims being straight but in all actually she’s not closed off to anything despite not having much experience outside the opposite gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , spanish ( fluent , second language ) , polish ( conversation , third language ) , mandarin  ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: leandro oliver addams  ( 49 years old )  was born & raised in chicago , illinois by a politician / businessman & a philanthropist . leandro went on to take a little bit from both of his parents as he is a highly esteemed business tycoon as well as being regarded as one of the most charitable men in the world .  ( relationship:  there has never been a day that has gone by where the two didn’t get along . if there is anyone in this world who gets holly it is her father . truly , daddy’s little girl . the two of them are as thick as thieves . ) mother : susanna renee addams ( nee daniels ) ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in long island , new york . the daughter of a hedge fund investor & a stay at home mother . susanna grew to be an amazing cosmetologist and which the help of her father’s amazing business mind she was able to start up a salon in new york city . she gained the most devoted clientele , loving every second of her work . she took a break for almost a decade before deciding to return to the beauty industry . today she has salons across the globe in chicago , los angeles , toronto , london , and new york city .  ( relationship: susanna often had to play bad cop when it came to parenting and because of this the two butted heads quite often whilst holly was growing up . despite this , her mom is her role model and the two have always had a friendship that underlined their mother - daughter relationship .  ) social class: upper education: attending new york university ( s. 2018 ) she spent her first year of university at usc , she’s majored in creative writing at both universities  career: author ( her book is a coming of age mystery called privilege that she’s recently admitted to writing the full book during a coke binge ) , internet personality , philanthropist , socialite , and student  notoriety: being apart of the prominent addams family , amassing over 32m followers on all social media platforms , publishing a new york times best selling book at the age of seventeen . weight: 120lbs height: 5′5″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: brown positive traits: benevolent, high spirited , extroverted , romantic , honest , affectionate , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , approachable , charming  negative traits: immature , vain , garrulous , critical , sensitive , stubborn , inattentive , naive , sarcastic , obsessive , insecure , impractical , irritable likes: anything strawberry flavored , flowers , driving fast , pink , watching the first snow fall , birthday parties , lips gloss , netflix , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , agatha christie , redecorating , driving with the windows down , long plane rides , denim jackets , taco bell , orange juice , makeup , sports , female empowerment , online shopping , fresh berries , roller skating , photography , writing , tea dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , coffee , having no siblings , deep water , bad drivers , body shaming , pizza , hateful people , being rushed , cuss words , repetition , disloyalty , being alone ,  horror movies , dentists , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , the unknown , traffic , wine , poptarts ,  small spaces ,  hobbies: reading with a hot cup of tea , video editing in the back of a car , smoking before bed to help fall asleep , going out to eat with her parents , napping , hiding alcohol in her bedroom , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , stashing drugs in jewelry boxes , sleepovers with her closest friends , talking the dogs on walks , early morning instagram lives , old disney marathons , scribbling in a notebook while snuggled up in bed  chara inspo: olivia baker ( all american ) , leila faisal ( all american ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , elena gilbert ( the vampire diaries ) , dorothy gale ( wizard of oz ) , lucy pevensie ( chronicles of narnia ) , lara jean ( to all the boys i loved before ) , elle woods ( legally blonde ) , jeffree star , jenny humphrey ( gossip girl ) , cassie howard ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: vsco girls , bella hadid , megan markle , rihanna , selena gomez , perrie edwards , emma watson aesthetics: ghostly sounding music playing as background music to a pen to paper , eyes widened at the chance to do something positive , the annoying beg for approval , infectious energy , a pout so crippling , the swell of regret as you sneak a bottle into your bedroom , tanned skin tousling with silk sheets , big eyes threatening to shed a tear , the zip of a pink mclaren 

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐑𝐀

holly is the only child to leandro and susanna addams ( the addams family 👀 ) . she was born with not just a silver spoon but the silver spoon . the addams are a prominent american family , that are regarded as one of the leading industrialist during the gilded age . in short her families been billionaire rich for a long time and are known as one of the families to bring wealth to the city of chicago . she was incredibly spoiled growin gup as you would assume but by the grace of her parents teachings she was anything but a brat . she had being filthy rich and being an only child working against her and she still managed to be the most giving and down to earth child . from a young age holly would give her toys to other kids during play dates & ask her parents if she could donate the things she didn’t use anymore to the less fortunate . 

although her father had a busying career as he took over the family company just a year before holly was born , but in spite of that he always made time for his family . luckily her mother had stepped away from her career soon after meeting holly’s father , so she was able to be a stay at home mom and be there for every important moment of holly’s life . by the way , susanna was straight of of a real housewives show only just an overall better person ? they had dinner together as a family every night , threw parties at the house for every big moment in holly’s life . everything from birthdays , graduations , academic honors , to becoming captain of the cheerleading team and everything in between warranted a celebration in the eyes of susanna and leandro . 

she grew up extremely sheltered , mostly because her parents wanted to keep their little girl well their little girl . they didn’t want the world to taint her . she went to church every sunday and even wednesday nights , if she wanted to have a sleepover it was always at the addams household , and her parents met the parent/s of every kid she befriended growing up . 

despite their attempts her parents couldn’t shield her from one thing . getting her heart broken and at sixteen she experience her first bout of heart break . the boy she’d falling head over heels for just stopped talking to her one day , with no rhythm or reason he moved on to another girl with a blink of an eye . she couldn’t understand why ( pst ? it was because she slept with him and that was all he wanted to begin with ) someone could be so cruel an play with someones heart like that . it was her first experience of how the world could really work and in all honesty , holly couldn’t handle it . she got her hands on her parents bar room in the house and would literally drink every night before bed so she could sleep . 

this soon turned into her going to parties , promising her parents "i just want to hang out with my friend , i wont touch any alcohol” and her promise was always kept , she didn’t touch alcohol at these parties instead she smoke weed and on the chance one of her friends had it on them she’d do a line . 

this double life , if you would , didn’t lead to any real issues , at least not while she was in highschool . she still graduated top of her class  and even got accepted into her dream school university of southern california .  it wasn’t until she was a semester deep in usc that she realized she was losing control over her life . maybe it was a mix of her derailing mental state , being separated from her parents , and the los angeles social make up . whatever it was holly wasn’t too far gone to see she needed help . 

instead of going back to school the following semester holly checked herself into rehab . her parents freaked out , unaware their daughter had touched a substance a day in her life . it was a long process and took alot of owning up for her own wrong doings but after a couple months she checked out of rehab and flew out to her parents .

she had decided upon leaving rehab that her best bet directly after getting out would be to surround herself with people who loved her . during her short stint in california her parents had made the temporary move to new york city so that her mom could focus on the salon in the city , so holly transferred to new york university to continue her studies and be around her parents .

she lives under their roof , despite being more than self efficient thanks to her multiple branches of income including her trust fund but she figures there is only so much more time before they leave to go back to chicago that the more time she spends with them the better off she’ll be when they leave the city . speaking of , she doesn’t know her parents will be leaving the city in the next few months . on a positive note they plan on paying the rent in the apartment they live in for her until she finds somewhere she likes better .   

today , holly is a sober ( she smokes weed here and there but it’s not a addictive so it fine 🙄 ) and happy . although due to how sensitive the girl is anything could make her snap , she’s incredibly fragile guys . like capable of having a mental break at any moment but like we ignore it because if we bring it up it’ll happen . wooo . 

not so fun fact ? when she has an off day she’ll literally sit in her room holding either a bottle she had hidden in her walk in closet or stares at the coke she keeps in her jewelry box . she hasn’t used any of it but she tells herself its there as a reminder when really it’s a crutch for if she ever needs it again , she has easy access .

secret time ? she pushed her ex boyfriend of a balcony while she was drunk . this happened before she went to rehab ... perhaps you could say it was what prompted her to realized her crazy ass needed to go to rehab . ummm , it’s not acceptable and she knows this but one thing we all need to know about holly is that holly + substances + being upset = toxic shit that is always the equation and there is never another answer to it . 

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

maybe a fellow chicago native ? who she dated in highscool and you know is the one who dropped her like a hot potato after she slept with him

ex hook ups 

frenemies but more like a blair & lil j circa season 1 situation ? 

someone who just doesn’t like her , but like she does everything she can think of to get them to like her 

an unrequited ting were he’s leading her one so he can sleep with her ?

or maybe someone has a crush on holly but she just doens’t have the heart to tell them she’s not interested so now here she is kissing and OMG YUP NOW SHES SLEEPING W THEM ...

someone she races ? she loves cars especially fast ones

a we hang out and watch/obsess over sports but the whole time i can’t help but think about how hot you are kinda vibe ?

someone who is v bad for her and they know it but she doesn’t care because she like them so much & he likes her too but knows he’ll hurt her ?!

someone who sees that she might be teetering on falling off the wagon ( maybe they were over her place and saw the stash of substances all over her room ), maybe they’re trying to get her to stop smoking weed bc they feel like for her that’s a huge gateway  

smoking buddies where they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit

someone who she used to party with & be wild with ( could be from chi or nyc because she visited alot as a kid ) and now they feel like she’s a lame bc she’s sober

she’s a good influence on them ? they’re a bad influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her parents place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed but like she got tricked into doing it ? anything fluffy , anything angsty ... reall just anything you got , i’ll take ! 

[sunflowerplusapeach]

𝓂𝓎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒

✰hi everyone! i’m not the very type of person who’s good at storytelling but i’ll try my best to share my very first concert experience in my life. i’m figuring out many armys are gonna attend bts’ future concerts or curious about it so i’ll let you know about mine in this thread.

(𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆)

BUYING TICKETS

each venue has different official ticket distributors. for example, the concert for staples center LA has AXS as their official ticket distributor, meanwhile oracle arena has ticketmaster. ITS ALWAYS JUST THE TWO: AXS and Ticketmaster. tbh i really don’t know whats better at first since i’ve never bought one. many armys prefer ticketmaster and vice versa but let me tell you!! before the ticket selling for oracle arena, I tried practicing buying tickets for the LA concert dates thru AXS and actually got sumn! i think it was a p3 seat that costs only like $120 with tax but i didn’t got it cause i’m from north cali and LA is too far for me so i really did set my mind on the oakland concert only and let me tell you sis, that was a dumb move!! the date for the ticket selling for oakland came and i didn’t snag any ticket from ticketmaster and i was actually pissed. but i’ve had plan B and that is to buy from stubhub. yes, stubhub which is another ticket reseller but sells ticket at an expensive price. when the sold out sign went out for oakland i quickly went to stubhub and got a p6 ticket with a price thats 4x more expensive than the original price (which is only $60) and i lowkey cried cause i didn’t got p1 (which is my planned seat) but actually thankful cause i’m still gonna see them anyways but just far away. there’s many tutorials about buying tickets made by armys on yt and tbh i didn’t follow any of them lmao. i guess its just bad luck to me that day. it’s really chaos during ticket selling so stay strong and be patient with the process. some armys on twitter are selling tickets but of course it would be better if you could buy on your own with the official price and not the overpriced ones. there’s also lot of scammers during ticket selling period cause they know some fans are desperate and those are the type of peeps you wanna be careful with.

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE CONCERT

finally its tomorrow!!! i was kinda nervous and excited at the same time but kinda relieved cause i had a friend (shoutout to jaja 💜 ) whos going with me too. we only just met at twitter and its gonna be our first meeting too on the day of the concert lmao. i didn’t mind going with her cause its her first time also so i have someone with me who is on the same boat as I am. it would be nice if you had a friend/s with you whos going also. if not, its alright.

on the night i did some beauty preparations. of course i wanna look stress-free on the concert day lol. i did prepare the bag that i’m gonna use (which was a drawstring bag) and some essentials. i was gonna prepare on the morning on the concert day cause i don’t wanna be stressed yet. make sure you know the venue map (bighit posts it at twitter the day before the concert) so you can know where will be the merchandise line will be located, where to buy the lightstick, and the photo booths and stuff. plan ahead the merchs you’re gonna buy tomorrow and have extra money in case. planning really helps. plan merchs that you want in case the merch you want got sold out.

memorize fanchants if you can. tbh i didn’t memorized all the fanchants and i’m a little guilty lol. it would be really appreciated on the concert day i promise you.

have a good sleep and relax. excitements gonna keep you awake but if you can’t sleep try taking sleeping pills. it works for me when i can’t sleep the night when i’m super excited on the next day event lmao.

CONCERT DAY

this is it! the day i’m looking forward all my life lol. its such a good day to wake up to as I think that i’m gonna meet bts at night. i woke up at like 6:30 am cause i had to drop my brother at his school. i did some errands at the morning and didn’t have the opportunity to sleep again which made me worried cause its gonna be a busy day but i’m confident cause i got 8 hours of sleep at night. i got home at 9:30 and started preparing my stuffs.

WHATS IN MY BAG?

-powerbank

-concert ticket

-phone

-extra cash

-plastic water bottles (not the hard containers like hydroflask, they don’t allow it at the venue)

-wallet

-binoculars (an essential for me cause i’m gonna seat at the very back TT)

-army bomb ver.3 (i’m planning to pair it at the venue booth so i won’t have any problem in case i didn’t do the right steps to pair it for concert mode)

-gum

(this is all whats in my bag that day. i didn’t bring any banners but you can if you want but there’s a limit on the size. see the venue rules for the allowed banner dimensions)

OUTFIT

check the weather before wearing anything. if its very hot, wear light clothing and if its cold, wear appropriate clothes. it was 60 degrees that day so i just wore a pink sweatshirt and pants with pockets. i was originally planning to wear leggings cause it looks more better with the sweatshirt but i can’t tolerate bottoms without pockets LOL. so i just decided on simple pants. i thought about this outfit cause i wanna be comfortable as possible. i don’t recommend high heels but if you’re used to it why not but its not really recommendable. everybody wants to slay and there’s nothing wrong with that but make sure you’re also comfortable so you can really enjoy the show :) i did wore RJ headband to show support to jin and it really looks adorable! many armys complimented me about it when i arrived on the venue hehe

TRANSPORTATION

i just live near oakland (30-45 minutes away) so the transportation was pretty easy for me. i do have a driver’s license but my parents didn’t allowed me to drive to oakland cause they told me its not safe lol which is i kinda understand plus i don’t wanna worry about the parking. i went to oracle by uber and it was really pricey but it just depends on everyone. my parents didn’t have the opportunity to drop me off there cause they have work that day. i left the house at like 12:40pm and arrived at oracle after an hour. the traffic wasn’t that bad yet but i left home early cause i didn’t want to get stuck at the traffic plus i’m still gonna line up for the merch.

MERCH LINE

i automatically lined up to the merch section as soon as the uber driver dropped me off at the gate lmao. the line was long when i arrived but to my relief its moving fast. if i mean fast, i’m not kidding. kudos to the bts crew and staffs. before you line up a staff is gonna give you a paper, more like a merch list where you will check up the merch you want along with the quantity (theres a limit quantity on each item). i think its a really good idea so that the line wouldn’t take too long. once its your turn you’re gonna give the paper to them and they would bring the item and calculate the price overall. i think my overall transaction was less than a minute. it was really fast but many of the items i want are sold out already :( but its alright, still thankful i got some.

ps, DON’T FORGET TO BRING A PEN

also shoutout to kathy! 💜  i met her on the merch line. it was awkward at first but she was really friendly. she told me she was going to the concert alone cause her friends didn’t got a ticket which is kinda sad cause who tf wants to go alone to the concert right? plus she was wearing a mang headband while im wearing rj so our combination looks really cute 💜 too bad we don’t have a photo together but i got her twitter username. were still communicating till today which is kind of adorable hehe~

here’s the merchs that i was able to buy:

(official slogan, mini photocard set and ip7 phone case)

HOURS BEFORE THE CONCERT

after buying merchs, me and my friend Jaja got to meet for the first time! it was crazy finding each other but it was really fun haha. here’s our photo together when we met:

after meeting we went straight to the army bomb pairing booth and got our army bomb ready for the concert which took less than 5 minutes. the staff who paired ours was very friendly (she was korean).

after that that’s the time when we were both curious on where to go. we decided to line up to the bts studio but backed out cause it took long plus were kinda worried where we will eat for dinner.

we tried asking some security guards on which was the nearest fastfood place that we can walk over but he was rude. really rude lmao. that’s what i also noticed on the guard gates on oracle, they were all hella rude. and since the guard’s answer was useless all i did was just to google map instead and found panda express and in-n-out as the nearest fastfood on the venue but we need to ride on uber cause its not really safe to walk around oakland. we got uber and arrived and ate at in-n-out. thanks jaja for treating me <3

we just told each other our stories and got to know each other. we also talked how we found out about bts and became an army and stuffs like that. i’m really glad i met her cause her life is very similar to mine so we both can relate to each other’s stories.

before 5 pm we went back to oracle again, rode uber and arrived safe. after that we went to the north entrance wherein all entrances will open at 5:30pm. it was a smart move that we went there early so we can just chill and won’t have to worry about the time.

BAG INSPECTION and SCANNING OF TICKETS

the line became long after 3 minutes when we arrived in the line. the line was fast enough. my 2 sealed bottled water got confiscated TT but everything went on smoothly. we went straight to another line again which is the last line for the ticket scanning and that’s where it really hit me that i’m gonna see BTS!!! i started taking photos and my heart was really beating so fast. when the venue was letting people in the line was fast too. after that me and jaja got in, we both screamed and jumped together. she was almost crying and i was just there still silent at the fact that it really is the day that i’m gonna see my inspirations hours later.

after we came inside we went straight to the food section and bought water bottles which costs $7 per bottle lmao. always prepare for expensive stuff inside the arena cause i’m not joking, it really is expensive. we had our bathroom breaks and went to our seats!! jaja and i had different seats so we separated our ways and went to our sections. her ticket was on the left side of the arena while i’m on the right side.

it was easy finding my seat plus there’s gonna be a banner on each seat so be careful not to touch those cause i accidentally brushed through a seat and the banner dropped and almost got lost (clumsy me) but good thing i found it and returned it. the armys inside the arena wasn’t full yet when i got to my seat. here’s the view while i was waiting:

the vcr was playing some bts music videos on repeat. its in your preference if you would sing along or do the fanchants but i stayed quiet while waiting cause i was reserving my voice for the real show later. i charged my phone with my power bank to make sure my phone will stay good while recording some videos. it was really fun and you can feel the excitement in the air. my seatmate was kinda cool but i didn’t talk to her that much (sorry i’m awkward hahaha)

the show was getting nearer and nearer and the crowd started to get louder too. when 8:00 pm hit the clock everyone was hfskjdhfskjdfhsjbfkjsdgfdskbnglksfgbksjgns including me! the last mv that showed before the show was DNA and everyone sang. when the lights went out, we all went MBDJSGDKJHFJSGFKJHGFSJFDGHAJKFGSHFGKSJ

THE SHOW

this is the part i’m not gonna explain that much LOL. i had my army bomb ready, my binocular on my neck, my phone on my other hand and my voice on full volume to cheer my babies. when idol came i thought i was gonna have a heart attack LMAO. i quickly grabbed my binocular and damn they don’t look real. they’re too perfect to look real OJO angels indeed.

be careful of your neighbors when your cheering, you might not notice your hitting them. as namjoon say, be mindful of your neighbors so everyone can enjoy the show :)

also, stay hydrated! i drink water from time to time so my throat wouldn’t be that dry.

some of my fancams: (shameless promo heh)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBdJOY1NfAvoakzAY3CnQmofro6O9x9ME

AFTER THE SHOW

i was a lil sad when the show ended but it was literally the best night of my life. i knew i had to deal with pcd (post concert depression) after but i just stayed happy throughout the night even after the show. jaja and i went out the stadium and got an uber ride. i was thankful cause even if its late they were still uber drivers around there.

HOME

when i got home my dad was waiting at the parking and he greeted me happily. he asked about my experience and the merchs i bought and i quickly told him about the overall experience. he told me he was happy cause i got to be really genuine happy for once in my life and i’m glad he supports me regarding my fangirling life. after i showed him the merchs and videos i went to my room and THAT’S WHEN I REALLY REALIZE ITS ALL OVER NOW TT. i got emotional but i didn’t really cry. i can’t cry cause i still have work the next day LMFAO i don’t want my eyes to be puffy af. work was ok the next day. i was a little blank but good thing it wasn’t that busy at work but i feel really tired.

OVERALL, the concert experience was truly amazing. words weren’t enough to describe how amazing it was. if only i can time travel i would repeat it without a doubt but of course, life must go on. the only thing that sucks is that you have to deal with PCD but i believe everyone will carry on. i hope every army will get to experience bts concerts atleast once cause believe me sis, its really an amazing experience and you only live once~

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: where you @? Indie: lost u in the heads & smoke like Rio: I know, fucking madness ain't it Rio: never gets old Rio: What's up tho? Indie: get off mckenna for a few i need to chat Indie: 😏😏😂😂 Indie: dunno how to spit this Indie: imma just Indie: drews back in the pen lookin @ a fresh stretch Rio: Hush child 😜 Rio: Oh shit Rio: Really? Rio: Any day to get caught, like Rio: he must've been weighed tf down, man Rio: How you feeling on it, babe? Indie: innit tho Indie: vexed i didnt get my share for the feds hit him up Indie: but fr idk man Indie: he trying to play like he sorry & he wants to see my face if his gotta keep in there Rio: Hmm Rio: It's like, does he mean it or is it 'cos it's long in there, like Rio: Not trying to be a cunt genuinely questioning like we gonna get any sort of answer Indie: i told my auntie he sorry for heself only Indie: i feel that Indie: i not trying to 🤡 for him so the pen aint dry Indie: & he aint trying to see my sis face Indie: either of Rio: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to take a baby to prison, can you fucking imagine Rio: least of all Ro sat there like Rio: Jesus Rio: Well, you know I've got your back Rio: if he means it he'll bell you himself once he's in and knows wtf he's doing Rio: but I'm with you with as much as we know now, fuck that, some time away will do us all some good Indie: if former step ma stepped her foot in there shed be shook beyond belief Indie: no jokes Indie: it got me feelin some type of way bad tho like i willed it Indie: cos i wanted him gone from me & the younger Indie: but how long he gets depends she might not kno him lowkey ever Indie: ro aint want him around now she aint gon forgive & forget welcomin him back to the table once he jailbroke Rio: Init Rio: Might be the culture shock she needs but even I ain't gonna say she deserves, like Rio: Nah, dash that, serious Rio: it's always been a risk of how he's living, whether right or wrong, wanted or not, it's just facts Rio: they caught him slipping, nothing to do with how much he been slipping with you and that whole situation Rio: It ain't gonna be like that, system's a joke, yeah? Rio: Idk about that though but if he proper wants to see Astrid then there's ways to make that happen, just he's never put that level of effort in, ever Indie: im heavy w this Indie: aint trying to need this tonite of all nights Indie: gus & di already 👀 edie early Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 coming off Indie: mayb i gotta just bounce from here Rio: I know, babe Rio: you don't have to Rio: no one wants you to go Indie: i aint about wanting that but 💔💔💔💔 u kno Rio: if you gotta Rio: I get it Rio: but you don't need to stay gone, yeah Rio: like Edie doesn't Indie: idk where my boys are i cant be runnin these streets rn Indie: the feds are proper extra Indie: decision makes itself Rio: Yeah they gotta be out in full force Rio: it ain't safe for you to bounce alone, everyone's lairy Rio: We can go home if you want, night close to over neway? Indie: naaaaah you and mckenna got few slow dances to still do Indie: he feelin lucky still & 😍😍😍😍 Indie: he gonna have to bounce heself in like a day Indie: gotta let him have this Rio: Fuck that Rio: you're my priority Rio: what you wanna do, forreal? Indie: idk Indie: but if we bounce drews killed the vibe & i aint want that for myself either Indie: ill track lo cos bros a walking party innit Indie: bound to make a change Indie: find me when you done riding your mans Rio: Yeah Rio: Alright then, sounds good to me Rio: In a few, bitch Indie: i love you Indie: serious Rio: I love you more Rio: Always have, always will Rio: This ain't gonna fuck with no thing, we on the up and up, still Indie: yeah u kno i aint tryna let this make me slip too Indie: thats his Rio: It alright if you do, I'm here to catch you Rio: we all are Indie: i got something in my eye now bitch Indie: 😭😭😭 Rio: No one will know, all the smoke that's about just reckon you wayyyy faded Indie: truuuuu Indie: but in this facepaint w this much 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 pride not a mood 👌👌 Rio: Soz about it 😏 Indie: speaking of Indie: ask mckenna if he gon lips me or what bitch i been waitin since he shown up Rio: 😲😣 Rio: the nerve to ask me that Indie: he looking daddy af & you kno it Indie: i got dem issues proven so Indie: come thru boyyy Rio: 😂 Rio: we gon' have issues if he come away with green lips thank you Rio: post up Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: what can i say it b that posh knitwear 😍😍😍😍 Indie: who else b dressin like that cept his actual father Indie: im creased Rio: you want his ma after you too Rio: deathwish like you tryna go out on dem streets with a union jack on you Indie: nah she my girl now Indie: loves me real deep Rio: is it? Indie: now she aint catch me face deep in her fridge like Indie: the actual Indie: not some dirty type words there Indie: she b cold but i aint tryna say no thing about in the sheets Rio: 😂😂😂 Rio: you ain't the only one creased now Rio: fucking hell Indie: plot twist fam i be coming for other mckennas 🌈👑 & out here w her own ma Indie: soz bout it Rio: that'd be mad shaming Rio: no living that hypocrisy down, bea Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: nah but girls aint do no thing for me like that Indie: they too soft Rio: Shame, such a soft butch dream, babe 😉 Indie: is it? Indie: that b how im friendzoned by my dream boy rn then Rio: 💔 Rio: gutting Indie: for him Indie: cos im 🔥🔥🔥 and he aint kno Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: that's my girl Indie: mayb he 🌈🌈🌈 omf u think? Rio: Could be Rio: idk how he living that hard myself but you know Indie: i gotta ask other mckenna how i can 👀 Indie: is junie still here too? Rio: I hope she's fun drunk so you don't get a rant Rio: nah, he left a while ago, I 👀 him sneaking out but it's a day for Irish goodbyes so let him live, like Indie: o Indie: ill run him a text rn Rio: i ever teach u how to be tactful or nah Rio: might need a mama moment 😏 Indie: wys Indie: i aint kno what that mean even Rio: it just means chillin' even when you hyped, 'cos the other person might not be, like Rio: he ain't livin' that pride life Rio: not 'bout being 🍀 like Indie: ooooooooooooo Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: y tho? Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a process Rio: being comfortable with who you is Indie: how you gon b uncomfy w it Indie: lifes long Rio: plenty out there give u reasons why depending on who you is Rio: but it's just in you Rio: it's hard to explain when that ain't how you is but he is, always has been Indie: dash that Indie: poor baby boy Rio: I know Indie: ill just text him love Rio: you cute Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Indie: feelin it Rio: lookin' it Rio: 💘 Indie: shhh allow it Indie: nah man Rio: what you chattin' Rio: you beautiful Indie: not this nite bitch Rio: every night bitch Indie: hype girl vibes is it Indie: kkk Rio: shh i'm only a tiny bit drunk and feeling the luv Rio: also accidental racism come thru there Indie: o snap Indie: my bad Indie: not tryna dash you off that hard Rio: 😂 Rio: though if you ever need to Rio: like, cold but damn Indie: dont even play Indie: omf Rio: though so many whiteys in one place rn we could start a rally Indie: innit Indie: waste Rio: you're happy, aren't you indie Indie: bout what? Indie: what you mean? Rio: in general Rio: i mean Rio: you're okay, yeah Indie: idk baby im me in general Indie: just livin Rio: Hmm Indie: is you? Rio: Yeah Rio: I just want all of you to be too Indie: how you kno tho? Indie: whats the feelin? Rio: Happy? Indie: yeah how is it? Rio: it's like Rio: when you was a kid Rio: but you old enough to appreciate how good it is now Indie: so mckenna makes you feel like you lil Rio: no Rio: it's not like that, or that it's just him Rio: idk Indie: its like a good high or? Rio: not really Rio: it's like, no matter what shit is was or will be Rio: you still good Rio: nothing touches it Indie: yeah? Indie: thats a madness Indie: no wonder you two b amp af Rio: it's security Rio: i think Indie: thats wild Indie: how i b getting myself some of that shit like Rio: i'm no expert Rio: but i think u gotta know yourself, be comfy with it, know what you want and then be tryna get it Rio: and have good people 'round you who are solid too Rio: that's what i reckon anyway but who knows everything could go to shit and then this'll be awks Indie: nah you good Indie: like i said afore mckenna b cuffed now Indie: what i hear you sayin is i need a mans cos i kno myself & where i wanna get Indie: & i got heads all around Rio: hmm Rio: i don't remember saying that 😂 Indie: well i b sayin safe all the time but i aint b feelin no safety Indie: thats whats missin only from what you listin Indie: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Rio: maybe it ain't as simple as i think then Rio: maybe if there's one wobbly brick, it all comes tumblin' down Rio: weakest link shit Indie: i feel that Rio: yeah Rio: i ain't know how to fix that Rio: i'm still happy Rio: most the time Indie: 💖💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: thats sick Indie: im hyped for you Rio: maybe i'm selfish then hmm Indie: naaah Indie: aint no thing wrong w feelin any type way Rio: but if you ain't and edie ain't and so many other people ain't Rio: then i shouldn't, like u can't 'cos of all this stuff Indie: me & edie too 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 to know how we is Rio: that ain't good either Rio: i should do more i'm being too easy on myself now Indie: dash that Indie: you doin the most for me Indie: all in Indie: & she aint tryna let anyone do anything you kno Rio: i should just do it Rio: not give her the option Rio: we all should Rio: she's just a kid Rio: a kid who don't know what's good for her rn Indie: now i kno you drunk babe Indie: how you gon achieve it? Indie: cant help heads that aint want it Rio: lock her in her room 'til she ready to be good Rio: i know you can't but Rio: we failed her Rio: period Indie: if you lookin for that room to be trashed go off Indie: it aint none of you that failed her Indie: you kno who it was Rio: he never even tried Rio: not once Indie: & thats how it aint matter what you do Indie: it aint bout you Indie: none of Rio: it's fucked up Rio: 'cos you from him you don't get to be happy? what the fuck is that Indie: life bitch Indie: we aint get to choose where we from Rio: nah Rio: nah, that's bullshit i ain't having it Indie: it aint yours to have or to carry thats what im sayin Rio: no, fuck that Rio: don't you get that's exactly what he'd say and how he's living Rio: oh my mum didn't love me and so this is how i am, end of Rio: no growth no change no nothing Rio: he didn't have to do it like that just 'cos Rio: he made choices and you can too, both of you Indie: he didnt have to do no thing but i cant make him behave like you cant her Indie: they gon do what they gon do Indie: shes making her choices rn based on how she viewin none of us can get in her 👀 and get shit untwisted if she aint want Rio: she isn't like him Rio: don't say it like she is Indie: how she not? Indie: she got everything & all she see is what she think she aint got Rio: she just ain't alright Rio: we ain't doing this rn Indie: she is tho Indie: where she now? gone like how he do running from what she has like he do Indie: it aint exactly how they want it so they aint want it Rio: i mean it Rio: stop Indie: you gonna law me now Indie: is that how we doin Rio: you don't know what you're talking about Rio: i don't wanna listen Indie: you wish i aint kno Indie: thats why you dont wanna hear Rio: you're saying all this like you reckon you're better Rio: you don't know Rio: he chose you Rio: you don't know what it's like to be her Indie: what i kno is i used to chat at myself every nite wishing your rents would keep me and she dashes them over so hard it breaks them Indie: what i kno is they chose her & got mad love and what his is better cos he was inside your ma for a few? nah Indie: what i kno is that he was backed into a corner over me cos my ma fucked died Indie: yours gotta b punished cos she was strong enough to do her job fuck that Indie: im better cos im here & im real bout and on all this Rio: you don't think she don't know that Rio: you don't think it's half the root of her fucking problem Rio: lucky edie and poor indie Rio: so just stop because this ain't nothing i don't know, her too Rio: it's already on her without you ever saying it Indie: you say that like she wearing it Indie: she aint Rio: you blame her Rio: she wants to be drew's kid as little as you do, you'd be an idiot to believe her when she says opposite Rio: there's no points for being real here, she's not stupid, she knows what's up and it's fucked, you've got your ways of coping, she's got hers Rio: neither fucking work, clearly Indie: she blames me for more than ill ever blame her for Indie: & she aint tryna be anybody or anybodys Rio: nah Rio: she feels sorry for you though and that don't sit right does it Rio: because you should be sharing on it together yeah? but that ain't ever gonna happen because he didn't once claim her so you don't get to be sisters Rio: she don't know how to be Indie: bitch so do you it just came right out your mouth then & there 👌👌 Indie: & nah that aint sit right w me cos i aint ask to be none of you or your fam charity Indie: but i dont need her to be my sister no more than i need him to step up for me in any type of way Indie: i made my peace Rio: bullshit Rio: just like you say you safe but you ain't you say that but it's a crock of shit Rio: at least she isn't pretending to be fine Indie: u aint heard me say im fine Indie: but am i ghosting nah Rio: you always say it Rio: bet you told Meena you were too Indie: if you thinkin you hearing that from me you aint listenin Indie: i aint being real w her how i am w you cos she aint need that Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: and Edie don't wanna be anybody's Rio: she's your family, we're your family too Rio: she might not be here but you may as well not be the way you try and shrink yourself to not be part of the 'Drew' problem, no bother to no one Indie: if thats how you want it ill bounce too then Rio: did i say that Indie: you are w how youre coming for me rn Rio: you started it Indie: nah Indie: i aint come for you once this whole time Rio: you came for her Indie: she aint you Rio: she's my sister Rio: and she's not here to defend herself Indie: bitch me too Indie: & she wouldnt defend herself if she was Rio: i know Rio: and that doesn't matter Rio: i still have to Indie: you cant have it all ways either im fam and shes my sister too or im separate and i cant speak on it Indie: how you want it Rio: nah Rio: we don't speak on it don't act like you ain't noticed Rio: you don't call each other out that's not what we do Indie: then i aint trying to be w none of you Indie: cos thats bait Rio: Fine Indie: you call me out any time it suits you to do it Rio: bitch when Indie: when i got inked you had plenty to say about it Indie: & when i got dashed before then Rio: telling you your shit boyfriend is shit and you're making an idiot out of yourself is entirely different to coming for her life and her entire being Rio: if you can fix it you can say it Indie: theres plenty of shit that could have been said to her afore it got to this Indie: but nah just come for my life tonite stead like Rio: i done said we failed her Rio: you think i don't know Indie: i aint tryna tell you how you think Indie: or what you kno Rio: nah come on Rio: you had all the answers 5 seconds ago Indie: fuck that Indie: & you if thats how you wanna be Rio: whatever Indie: pretend like you aint got no more to say like how i pretend im fine 👌👌 Indie: its chill Rio: you ain't listening Rio: i'm not wasting breath Indie: bitch im here where you think i is Indie: if i aint listening i be out Rio: you ain't ready to learn then Indie: what you tryna school me in? Indie: all you tellin me is idk what i'm chattin Rio: because you don't Indie: what am i learnin from you that my heads empty? Indie: tell me what you want me to kno Rio: i already said everything i wanted to say 'cos i ain't faking it Rio: so forget it Indie: you callin me out again now Indie: or you just want me to kno how real you is Indie: like i gotta be scared of the flex now Rio: yeah, i'm calling you out Indie: idk how you think you can when i been real w you on all this Indie: but go off girl if you feelin it Rio: That isn't the point, this isn't about me and you Indie: it is when you dragging me for ways i aint livin Rio: bullshit Rio: i'm not going over and over this Indie: ?? Indie: i dont get what you want Rio: just forget it at this point Rio: this isn't productive and it isn't going to be Indie: why tho Rio: Because what, you're going to start asking for help and then what when we just let you down too Rio: There is no solution to all this so if acting fine helps then go for it Rio: There's no point you stopping Indie: i aint gonna ask for no help cos they aint none Indie: its how i told you its mine to carry Indie: i fix what i fix how i do Rio: what exactly are you fixing Indie: are you asking whats wrong or calling out my copin ways? Rio: i know what's wrong Indie: then how you gon say i pretend like im fine Rio: just because you're bad at it doesn't mean you don't Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: yeah Indie: you got jokes still Indie: love that Rio: i told you to stop and i said we weren't doing this but now this is over Indie: make it happen if you want it to Rio: fine Indie: such a ma thing to say Rio: shut up Rio: jesus Indie: go Indie: its what you tryna do Rio: oh is it Rio: what we do best yeah Rio: so you get to be all holier than thou i don't think so Indie: you aint tryna speak to me Indie: so be brave & do what you wanna for real Rio: more chatting with no clue Rio: for fuck sake Indie: you so clued in yeah 👌👌 Indie: my bad for forgetting it like Rio: don't speak to me like that Indie: you only law me i dont law you Rio: yeah that's how it is Indie: i kno Indie: like how i kno that even when you b aware my heart hurts you care about hers more Rio: yeah yeah yeah Rio: why, 'cos we got the same ma? Rio: that don't matter to me Rio: it matters to you two Rio: but act like it's just her, go on Indie: no cos you wont let me fucking speak Indie: & mayb tonite i need to Indie: but you only care about defending her not hearing me Rio: go ahead Rio: you reckon slagging her off is gonna make you feel any better Rio: it won't Indie: you been told me there aint no solutions anyway so whats it matter how i choose Rio: because it hurts me and makes you look dumb Rio: that's why it matters Rio: this isn't about her, it never needed to be Rio: it's about him, as fucking per Indie: its about me Indie: jfc Rio: and what haven't you said then Rio: and how doesn't that prove my point Rio: i asked you what you wanted to do Rio: i said we could go Rio: but you went with the usual like that's what the situation calls for, let me carry on partying and you go get high and act like you ain't thinking on him Rio: as if I'm that fucking stupid and that fucking selfish, I'm here waiting on you Indie: i said idk & i dont Indie: stop Rio: Let's just go Indie: you go if you want but i cant Rio: Nah Rio: nah you don't get to do this Indie: ?? Indie: what i done now Rio: You have to come because you have to talk about this Indie: you aint tryna talk to me no more you been made that obvious Indie: so who you want me to chat to? mckenna? Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I want to talk to you properly Rio: not like this because you won't leave and deal with it like it's actually a big deal Rio: come on Indie: the only big deal is how you be thinking on me Indie: & i aint tryna talk to you bout that anymore than Rio: what are you talking about Indie: all you been doing this whole time is chatting at me bout everything i do wrong for fixing this shit Indie: but telling me you got no means Rio: no i haven't Indie: check back w yourself cos thats how it is, i pretend im fine, i get high, i chat shit thats all wrong Indie: but you aint got no right way for me Rio: how about stop Rio: your taking shit outta context and adding 'em together when that ain't how it was said Indie: its how it feels Rio: well that isn't what i meant Indie: you wanna compare me to her but im doin my best to keep my shit together same as Rio: i only made any comparisons to point out the hypocrisy Rio: there's no need to come for her, trust me, it won't bring you any joy Indie: theres no need but sometimes i wanna Rio: We all do Indie: dont you 👀 now why i cant leave Indie: i aint tryna have my nite end like this Rio: what good do you think's gonna come Indie: i aint need good just not this Indie: get high enough to wipe it out like it was never Rio: doesn't work Rio: i don't know why you want me to be fake with you like it does when i been there and know better Indie: it works for me Indie: it worked for my ma too Rio: if it worked for your ma she would've got off the shit 'cos she'd be off and over your da too Rio: no it fucking doesn't Indie: you say that like he was her only Indie: problems b stacked Rio: loving him was her main Rio: everything else was survivable, don't get that twisted Indie: he was survivable too Rio: you reckon Indie: im surviving him Indie: edie is Indie: astrid will Rio: surviving ain't thriving Indie: maybe i aint get to thrive Indie: maybe i got that twisted Rio: you got some choices to make Indie: not yet Rio: why not? Indie: cos i aint grown Indie: you always b telling me i kno you aint forgot Rio: you haven't got that luxury, that's what you got twisted Rio: with a dad like that, no Indie: what choices i got w my years Indie: gotta go school & rest my head where im told Indie: thats surviving bitch Rio: you gotta choose how you feel about him and how deep you letting it run Indie: i dont get to choose that Indie: dont you get it Indie: hes ruining everything & he aint even here Rio: there's always a choice Rio: you love him like your ma and ro do, he fucks your life up fully Rio: you hate him as much as edie, same Rio: you gotta be the bigger person than him already and fucking live and let live, actually make peace with this shit 'fore it gets you too Indie: nah cos i dont love him or hate him & shits still a mess Indie: idk how to stop it Rio: shit's never not going to be a mess Indie: idk how to make my peace w that Indie: not on a level thats for real Rio: that's what i can't tell you Rio: 'cos me either Indie: then how tf do i stop him ruining me Indie: cept get as close to not feelin anything as i can Indie: but youre telling me no to that Rio: i don't know Rio: feel nothing for him Rio: that's the best i've got Indie: thats how im tryna be Indie: idk what happy is but i kno what starting a day high feels like Indie: how possible it makes shit feel & how invincible i am to anything i dont want Rio: go get high thenIndie: where you @? Indie: lost u in the heads & smoke like Rio: I know, fucking madness ain't it Rio: never gets old Rio: What's up tho? Indie: get off mckenna for a few i need to chat Indie: 😏😏😂😂 Indie: dunno how to spit this Indie: imma just Indie: drews back in the pen lookin @ a fresh stretch Rio: Hush child 😜 Rio: Oh shit Rio: Really? Rio: Any day to get caught, like Rio: he must've been weighed tf down, man Rio: How you feeling on it, babe? Indie: innit tho Indie: vexed i didnt get my share for the feds hit him up Indie: but fr idk man Indie: he trying to play like he sorry & he wants to see my face if his gotta keep in there Rio: Hmm Rio: It's like, does he mean it or is it 'cos it's long in there, like Rio: Not trying to be a cunt genuinely questioning like we gonna get any sort of answer Indie: i told my auntie he sorry for heself only Indie: i feel that Indie: i not trying to 🤡 for him so the pen aint dry Indie: & he aint trying to see my sis face Indie: either of Rio: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to take a baby to prison, can you fucking imagine Rio: least of all Ro sat there like Rio: Jesus Rio: Well, you know I've got your back Rio: if he means it he'll bell you himself once he's in and knows wtf he's doing Rio: but I'm with you with as much as we know now, fuck that, some time away will do us all some good Indie: if former step ma stepped her foot in there shed be shook beyond belief Indie: no jokes Indie: it got me feelin some type of way bad tho like i willed it Indie: cos i wanted him gone from me & the younger Indie: but how long he gets depends she might not kno him lowkey ever Indie: ro aint want him around now she aint gon forgive & forget welcomin him back to the table once he jailbroke Rio: Init Rio: Might be the culture shock she needs but even I ain't gonna say she deserves, like Rio: Nah, dash that, serious Rio: it's always been a risk of how he's living, whether right or wrong, wanted or not, it's just facts Rio: they caught him slipping, nothing to do with how much he been slipping with you and that whole situation Rio: It ain't gonna be like that, system's a joke, yeah? Rio: Idk about that though but if he proper wants to see Astrid then there's ways to make that happen, just he's never put that level of effort in, ever Indie: im heavy w this Indie: aint trying to need this tonite of all nights Indie: gus & di already 👀 edie early Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 coming off Indie: mayb i gotta just bounce from here Rio: I know, babe Rio: you don't have to Rio: no one wants you to go Indie: i aint about wanting that but 💔💔💔💔 u kno Rio: if you gotta Rio: I get it Rio: but you don't need to stay gone, yeah Rio: like Edie doesn't Indie: idk where my boys are i cant be runnin these streets rn Indie: the feds are proper extra Indie: decision makes itself Rio: Yeah they gotta be out in full force Rio: it ain't safe for you to bounce alone, everyone's lairy Rio: We can go home if you want, night close to over neway? Indie: naaaaah you and mckenna got few slow dances to still do Indie: he feelin lucky still & 😍😍😍😍 Indie: he gonna have to bounce heself in like a day Indie: gotta let him have this Rio: Fuck that Rio: you're my priority Rio: what you wanna do, forreal? Indie: idk Indie: but if we bounce drews killed the vibe & i aint want that for myself either Indie: ill track lo cos bros a walking party innit Indie: bound to make a change Indie: find me when you done riding your mans Rio: Yeah Rio: Alright then, sounds good to me Rio: In a few, bitch Indie: i love you Indie: serious Rio: I love you more Rio: Always have, always will Rio: This ain't gonna fuck with no thing, we on the up and up, still Indie: yeah u kno i aint tryna let this make me slip too Indie: thats his Rio: It alright if you do, I'm here to catch you Rio: we all are Indie: i got something in my eye now bitch Indie: 😭😭😭 Rio: No one will know, all the smoke that's about just reckon you wayyyy faded Indie: truuuuu Indie: but in this facepaint w this much 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 pride not a mood 👌👌 Rio: Soz about it 😏 Indie: speaking of Indie: ask mckenna if he gon lips me or what bitch i been waitin since he shown up Rio: 😲😣 Rio: the nerve to ask me that Indie: he looking daddy af & you kno it Indie: i got dem issues proven so Indie: come thru boyyy Rio: 😂 Rio: we gon' have issues if he come away with green lips thank you Rio: post up Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: what can i say it b that posh knitwear 😍😍😍😍 Indie: who else b dressin like that cept his actual father Indie: im creased Rio: you want his ma after you too Rio: deathwish like you tryna go out on dem streets with a union jack on you Indie: nah she my girl now Indie: loves me real deep Rio: is it? Indie: now she aint catch me face deep in her fridge like Indie: the actual Indie: not some dirty type words there Indie: she b cold but i aint tryna say no thing about in the sheets Rio: 😂😂😂 Rio: you ain't the only one creased now Rio: fucking hell Indie: plot twist fam i be coming for other mckennas 🌈👑 & out here w her own ma Indie: soz bout it Rio: that'd be mad shaming Rio: no living that hypocrisy down, bea Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: nah but girls aint do no thing for me like that Indie: they too soft Rio: Shame, such a soft butch dream, babe 😉 Indie: is it? Indie: that b how im friendzoned by my dream boy rn then Rio: 💔 Rio: gutting Indie: for him Indie: cos im 🔥🔥🔥 and he aint kno Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: that's my girl Indie: mayb he 🌈🌈🌈 omf u think? Rio: Could be Rio: idk how he living that hard myself but you know Indie: i gotta ask other mckenna how i can 👀 Indie: is junie still here too? Rio: I hope she's fun drunk so you don't get a rant Rio: nah, he left a while ago, I 👀 him sneaking out but it's a day for Irish goodbyes so let him live, like Indie: o Indie: ill run him a text rn Rio: i ever teach u how to be tactful or nah Rio: might need a mama moment 😏 Indie: wys Indie: i aint kno what that mean even Rio: it just means chillin' even when you hyped, 'cos the other person might not be, like Rio: he ain't livin' that pride life Rio: not 'bout being 🍀 like Indie: ooooooooooooo Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: y tho? Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a process Rio: being comfortable with who you is Indie: how you gon b uncomfy w it Indie: lifes long Rio: plenty out there give u reasons why depending on who you is Rio: but it's just in you Rio: it's hard to explain when that ain't how you is but he is, always has been Indie: dash that Indie: poor baby boy Rio: I know Indie: ill just text him love Rio: you cute Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Indie: feelin it Rio: lookin' it Rio: 💘 Indie: shhh allow it Indie: nah man Rio: what you chattin' Rio: you beautiful Indie: not this nite bitch Rio: every night bitch Indie: hype girl vibes is it Indie: kkk Rio: shh i'm only a tiny bit drunk and feeling the luv Rio: also accidental racism come thru there Indie: o snap Indie: my bad Indie: not tryna dash you off that hard Rio: 😂 Rio: though if you ever need to Rio: like, cold but damn Indie: dont even play Indie: omf Rio: though so many whiteys in one place rn we could start a rally Indie: innit Indie: waste Rio: you're happy, aren't you indie Indie: bout what? Indie: what you mean? Rio: in general Rio: i mean Rio: you're okay, yeah Indie: idk baby im me in general Indie: just livin Rio: Hmm Indie: is you? Rio: Yeah Rio: I just want all of you to be too Indie: how you kno tho? Indie: whats the feelin? Rio: Happy? Indie: yeah how is it? Rio: it's like Rio: when you was a kid Rio: but you old enough to appreciate how good it is now Indie: so mckenna makes you feel like you lil Rio: no Rio: it's not like that, or that it's just him Rio: idk Indie: its like a good high or? Rio: not really Rio: it's like, no matter what shit is was or will be Rio: you still good Rio: nothing touches it Indie: yeah? Indie: thats a madness Indie: no wonder you two b amp af Rio: it's security Rio: i think Indie: thats wild Indie: how i b getting myself some of that shit like Rio: i'm no expert Rio: but i think u gotta know yourself, be comfy with it, know what you want and then be tryna get it Rio: and have good people 'round you who are solid too Rio: that's what i reckon anyway but who knows everything could go to shit and then this'll be awks Indie: nah you good Indie: like i said afore mckenna b cuffed now Indie: what i hear you sayin is i need a mans cos i kno myself & where i wanna get Indie: & i got heads all around Rio: hmm Rio: i don't remember saying that 😂 Indie: well i b sayin safe all the time but i aint b feelin no safety Indie: thats whats missin only from what you listin Indie: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Rio: maybe it ain't as simple as i think then Rio: maybe if there's one wobbly brick, it all comes tumblin' down Rio: weakest link shit Indie: i feel that Rio: yeah Rio: i ain't know how to fix that Rio: i'm still happy Rio: most the time Indie: 💖💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: thats sick Indie: im hyped for you Rio: maybe i'm selfish then hmm Indie: naaah Indie: aint no thing wrong w feelin any type way Rio: but if you ain't and edie ain't and so many other people ain't Rio: then i shouldn't, like u can't 'cos of all this stuff Indie: me & edie too 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 to know how we is Rio: that ain't good either Rio: i should do more i'm being too easy on myself now Indie: dash that Indie: you doin the most for me Indie: all in Indie: & she aint tryna let anyone do anything you kno Rio: i should just do it Rio: not give her the option Rio: we all should Rio: she's just a kid Rio: a kid who don't know what's good for her rn Indie: now i kno you drunk babe Indie: how you gon achieve it? Indie: cant help heads that aint want it Rio: lock her in her room 'til she ready to be good Rio: i know you can't but Rio: we failed her Rio: period Indie: if you lookin for that room to be trashed go off Indie: it aint none of you that failed her Indie: you kno who it was Rio: he never even tried Rio: not once Indie: & thats how it aint matter what you do Indie: it aint bout you Indie: none of Rio: it's fucked up Rio: 'cos you from him you don't get to be happy? what the fuck is that Indie: life bitch Indie: we aint get to choose where we from Rio: nah Rio: nah, that's bullshit i ain't having it Indie: it aint yours to have or to carry thats what im sayin Rio: no, fuck that Rio: don't you get that's exactly what he'd say and how he's living Rio: oh my mum didn't love me and so this is how i am, end of Rio: no growth no change no nothing Rio: he didn't have to do it like that just 'cos Rio: he made choices and you can too, both of you Indie: he didnt have to do no thing but i cant make him behave like you cant her Indie: they gon do what they gon do Indie: shes making her choices rn based on how she viewin none of us can get in her 👀 and get shit untwisted if she aint want Rio: she isn't like him Rio: don't say it like she is Indie: how she not? Indie: she got everything & all she see is what she think she aint got Rio: she just ain't alright Rio: we ain't doing this rn Indie: she is tho Indie: where she now? gone like how he do running from what she has like he do Indie: it aint exactly how they want it so they aint want it Rio: i mean it Rio: stop Indie: you gonna law me now Indie: is that how we doin Rio: you don't know what you're talking about Rio: i don't wanna listen Indie: you wish i aint kno Indie: thats why you dont wanna hear Rio: you're saying all this like you reckon you're better Rio: you don't know Rio: he chose you Rio: you don't know what it's like to be her Indie: what i kno is i used to chat at myself every nite wishing your rents would keep me and she dashes them over so hard it breaks them Indie: what i kno is they chose her & got mad love and what his is better cos he was inside your ma for a few? nah Indie: what i kno is that he was backed into a corner over me cos my ma fucked died Indie: yours gotta b punished cos she was strong enough to do her job fuck that Indie: im better cos im here & im real bout and on all this Rio: you don't think she don't know that Rio: you don't think it's half the root of her fucking problem Rio: lucky edie and poor indie Rio: so just stop because this ain't nothing i don't know, her too Rio: it's already on her without you ever saying it Indie: you say that like she wearing it Indie: she aint Rio: you blame her Rio: she wants to be drew's kid as little as you do, you'd be an idiot to believe her when she says opposite Rio: there's no points for being real here, she's not stupid, she knows what's up and it's fucked, you've got your ways of coping, she's got hers Rio: neither fucking work, clearly Indie: she blames me for more than ill ever blame her for Indie: & she aint tryna be anybody or anybodys Rio: nah Rio: she feels sorry for you though and that don't sit right does it Rio: because you should be sharing on it together yeah? but that ain't ever gonna happen because he didn't once claim her so you don't get to be sisters Rio: she don't know how to be Indie: bitch so do you it just came right out your mouth then & there 👌👌 Indie: & nah that aint sit right w me cos i aint ask to be none of you or your fam charity Indie: but i dont need her to be my sister no more than i need him to step up for me in any type of way Indie: i made my peace Rio: bullshit Rio: just like you say you safe but you ain't you say that but it's a crock of shit Rio: at least she isn't pretending to be fine Indie: u aint heard me say im fine Indie: but am i ghosting nah Rio: you always say it Rio: bet you told Meena you were too Indie: if you thinkin you hearing that from me you aint listenin Indie: i aint being real w her how i am w you cos she aint need that Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: and Edie don't wanna be anybody's Rio: she's your family, we're your family too Rio: she might not be here but you may as well not be the way you try and shrink yourself to not be part of the 'Drew' problem, no bother to no one Indie: if thats how you want it ill bounce too then Rio: did i say that Indie: you are w how youre coming for me rn Rio: you started it Indie: nah Indie: i aint come for you once this whole time Rio: you came for her Indie: she aint you Rio: she's my sister Rio: and she's not here to defend herself Indie: bitch me too Indie: & she wouldnt defend herself if she was Rio: i know Rio: and that doesn't matter Rio: i still have to Indie: you cant have it all ways either im fam and shes my sister too or im separate and i cant speak on it Indie: how you want it Rio: nah Rio: we don't speak on it don't act like you ain't noticed Rio: you don't call each other out that's not what we do Indie: then i aint trying to be w none of you Indie: cos thats bait Rio: Fine Indie: you call me out any time it suits you to do it Rio: bitch when Indie: when i got inked you had plenty to say about it Indie: & when i got dashed before then Rio: telling you your shit boyfriend is shit and you're making an idiot out of yourself is entirely different to coming for her life and her entire being Rio: if you can fix it you can say it Indie: theres plenty of shit that could have been said to her afore it got to this Indie: but nah just come for my life tonite stead like Rio: i done said we failed her Rio: you think i don't know Indie: i aint tryna tell you how you think Indie: or what you kno Rio: nah come on Rio: you had all the answers 5 seconds ago Indie: fuck that Indie: & you if thats how you wanna be Rio: whatever Indie: pretend like you aint got no more to say like how i pretend im fine 👌👌 Indie: its chill Rio: you ain't listening Rio: i'm not wasting breath Indie: bitch im here where you think i is Indie: if i aint listening i be out Rio: you ain't ready to learn then Indie: what you tryna school me in? Indie: all you tellin me is idk what i'm chattin Rio: because you don't Indie: what am i learnin from you that my heads empty? Indie: tell me what you want me to kno Rio: i already said everything i wanted to say 'cos i ain't faking it Rio: so forget it Indie: you callin me out again now Indie: or you just want me to kno how real you is Indie: like i gotta be scared of the flex now Rio: yeah, i'm calling you out Indie: idk how you think you can when i been real w you on all this Indie: but go off girl if you feelin it Rio: That isn't the point, this isn't about me and you Indie: it is when you dragging me for ways i aint livin Rio: bullshit Rio: i'm not going over and over this Indie: ?? Indie: i dont get what you want Rio: just forget it at this point Rio: this isn't productive and it isn't going to be Indie: why tho Rio: Because what, you're going to start asking for help and then what when we just let you down too Rio: There is no solution to all this so if acting fine helps then go for it Rio: There's no point you stopping Indie: i aint gonna ask for no help cos they aint none Indie: its how i told you its mine to carry Indie: i fix what i fix how i do Rio: what exactly are you fixing Indie: are you asking whats wrong or calling out my copin ways? Rio: i know what's wrong Indie: then how you gon say i pretend like im fine Rio: just because you're bad at it doesn't mean you don't Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: yeah Indie: you got jokes still Indie: love that Rio: i told you to stop and i said we weren't doing this but now this is over Indie: make it happen if you want it to Rio: fine Indie: such a ma thing to say Rio: shut up Rio: jesus Indie: go Indie: its what you tryna do Rio: oh is it Rio: what we do best yeah Rio: so you get to be all holier than thou i don't think so Indie: you aint tryna speak to me Indie: so be brave & do what you wanna for real Rio: more chatting with no clue Rio: for fuck sake Indie: you so clued in yeah 👌👌 Indie: my bad for forgetting it like Rio: don't speak to me like that Indie: you only law me i dont law you Rio: yeah that's how it is Indie: i kno Indie: like how i kno that even when you b aware my heart hurts you care about hers more Rio: yeah yeah yeah Rio: why, 'cos we got the same ma? Rio: that don't matter to me Rio: it matters to you two Rio: but act like it's just her, go on Indie: no cos you wont let me fucking speak Indie: & mayb tonite i need to Indie: but you only care about defending her not hearing me Rio: go ahead Rio: you reckon slagging her off is gonna make you feel any better Rio: it won't Indie: you been told me there aint no solutions anyway so whats it matter how i choose Rio: because it hurts me and makes you look dumb Rio: that's why it matters Rio: this isn't about her, it never needed to be Rio: it's about him, as fucking per Indie: its about me Indie: jfc Rio: and what haven't you said then Rio: and how doesn't that prove my point Rio: i asked you what you wanted to do Rio: i said we could go Rio: but you went with the usual like that's what the situation calls for, let me carry on partying and you go get high and act like you ain't thinking on him Rio: as if I'm that fucking stupid and that fucking selfish, I'm here waiting on you Indie: i said idk & i dont Indie: stop Rio: Let's just go Indie: you go if you want but i cant Rio: Nah Rio: nah you don't get to do this Indie: ?? Indie: what i done now Rio: You have to come because you have to talk about this Indie: you aint tryna talk to me no more you been made that obvious Indie: so who you want me to chat to? mckenna? Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I want to talk to you properly Rio: not like this because you won't leave and deal with it like it's actually a big deal Rio: come on Indie: the only big deal is how you be thinking on me Indie: & i aint tryna talk to you bout that anymore than Rio: what are you talking about Indie: all you been doing this whole time is chatting at me bout everything i do wrong for fixing this shit Indie: but telling me you got no means Rio: no i haven't Indie: check back w yourself cos thats how it is, i pretend im fine, i get high, i chat shit thats all wrong Indie: but you aint got no right way for me Rio: how about stop Rio: your taking shit outta context and adding 'em together when that ain't how it was said Indie: its how it feels Rio: well that isn't what i meant Indie: you wanna compare me to her but im doin my best to keep my shit together same as Rio: i only made any comparisons to point out the hypocrisy Rio: there's no need to come for her, trust me, it won't bring you any joy Indie: theres no need but sometimes i wanna Rio: We all do Indie: dont you 👀 now why i cant leave Indie: i aint tryna have my nite end like this Rio: what good do you think's gonna come Indie: i aint need good just not this Indie: get high enough to wipe it out like it was never Rio: doesn't work Rio: i don't know why you want me to be fake with you like it does when i been there and know better Indie: it works for me Indie: it worked for my ma too Rio: if it worked for your ma she would've got off the shit 'cos she'd be off and over your da too Rio: no it fucking doesn't Indie: you say that like he was her only Indie: problems b stacked Rio: loving him was her main Rio: everything else was survivable, don't get that twisted Indie: he was survivable too Rio: you reckon Indie: im surviving him Indie: edie is Indie: astrid will Rio: surviving ain't thriving Indie: maybe i aint get to thrive Indie: maybe i got that twisted Rio: you got some choices to make Indie: not yet Rio: why not? Indie: cos i aint grown Indie: you always b telling me i kno you aint forgot Rio: you haven't got that luxury, that's what you got twisted Rio: with a dad like that, no Indie: what choices i got w my years Indie: gotta go school & rest my head where im told Indie: thats surviving bitch Rio: you gotta choose how you feel about him and how deep you letting it run Indie: i dont get to choose that Indie: dont you get it Indie: hes ruining everything & he aint even here Rio: there's always a choice Rio: you love him like your ma and ro do, he fucks your life up fully Rio: you hate him as much as edie, same Rio: you gotta be the bigger person than him already and fucking live and let live, actually make peace with this shit 'fore it gets you too Indie: nah cos i dont love him or hate him & shits still a mess Indie: idk how to stop it Rio: shit's never not going to be a mess Indie: idk how to make my peace w that Indie: not on a level thats for real Rio: that's what i can't tell you Rio: 'cos me either Indie: then how tf do i stop him ruining me Indie: cept get as close to not feelin anything as i can Indie: but youre telling me no to that Rio: i don't know Rio: feel nothing for him Rio: that's the best i've got Indie: thats how im tryna be Indie: idk what happy is but i kno what starting a day high feels like Indie: how possible it makes shit feel & how invincible i am to anything i dont want Rio: go get high then Indie: but youll leave Rio: I ain't trying be that, that's not how it is for me Indie: i love you Indie: tell me how it should be Rio: I love you too Rio: I just meant I'm not going to sit around and get high with you too, I can't Rio: you've got your friends for that Rio: I'll be at home Indie: dont go without me Indie: ill come with Indie: i meant how i said i aint tryna go looking for them Rio: Okay Rio: come on then Indie: is mckenna gonna be vexed at me now too Rio: i'm not Rio: first of all Rio: and why would he be Indie: cos i want you to stay w me Rio: no, he'll get it Rio: i'm not with him anyway, i told you, i've been waiting for you, no sense him too Rio: probably go home with his da Indie: but he aint here for long Indie: im not tryna do you like that serious Rio: trust me, it's fine Rio: let me worry about him as and when Indie: ok Indie: im sorry for how i chatted Indie: doin you & edie dirty Rio: I'm sorry too, things got heated and potentially things were said that shouldn't, or at least said in unhelpful ways Rio: I just want good things for you, I just want you to be alright Rio: both of you, equally as much Indie: i kno Indie: & trust my head & heart wont b this rinsed always Indie: its just Rio: it literally just happened, it's still sinking in if at all Rio: no matter how many times, you were too young on a lot of 'em to feel it how you do now Rio: not dissing Meena on how she did it either but idk, not tonight Indie: i really thought on him stepping up for astrid Indie: thats so chief of me but Indie: & i was so high when she told me Rio: I know Rio: I thought he might too but Rio: just say he didn't have the chance now yeah Rio: like how he didn't with Edie 'cos Ma wouldn't be with him Rio: whatever Rio: and I'm drunk, we need to go to bed Rio: it'll be there in the morning Indie: youll be there too yeah no drunk rollin out the bed like Rio: of course Rio: i might need to throw up and lay on the tiles for a bit but i'm an adult, you'll never even clock Indie: imma join cos can we all stop acting that guinness aint filth Indie: what mckenna on bout man Indie: he aint even from here Rio: 😂 Rio: it's so heavy, barely ate 'cos I feel like I been feasting all day Rio: really helps with getting you pished faster, nicely played Guinness Indie: it taste how when i was little & watchin your ma fix her truck & put this old spanner in my mouth Rio: So legit Rio: Be the iron Rio: should get Ro on 'em forreal Indie: put her on a drip Indie: proper drs orders soz step ma Indie: pint in the vein Rio: Imagine mainlining booze Rio: people would, especially today, no fucking chill Indie: unhectic Indie: nah ty Indie: but yeah even my 🐶 be on his feral hype rn jam baby boy Rio: He too lil, that carling did him in Indie: who tf Indie: he needs zzzzzzzzzzzs too Indie: mckenna be shit dog daddy Rio: just don't take away the dog part of that Rio: he'd be gutted Indie: just dont let him put a 👶 in you Indie: im savin you tonite but aint be there all time Rio: Behave Rio: I won't Indie: we all 👀 him holding my younger like she 💣 Indie: never done seen a boy so scared Rio: he got reasons Rio: nah no Rio: dash that Indie: wys Indie: cos his younger? Rio: yeah Indie: how old would he be? its a madness Rio: Like... Rio: God Rio: 8? Rio: Bit younger than Gus Indie: he'd be running w him & di Rio: Yeah Rio: Now I wanna cry all over again Indie: soz Indie: i love dem boys tho Indie: how would he be lookin? mckenna & other mckenna are so different for twins like Rio: init Rio: god knows Rio: cute tho Indie: frecks for days i reckon Indie: their das skipped em Rio: awh Indie: like di but not as cute cos u kno Indie: he 😍😍😍 Rio: yeah he a babe Rio: changed my mind want a baby broody now Indie: i aint tryna see the footage of me he got today tho wildin Indie: i wanna have so many 👶👶👶👶👶 Indie: but in years Rio: he a menace with that 📹 Rio: but he does know angles so 🤞 Rio: years and years and years, don't need to repeat ma Indie: he gon be somebody w dem skillz Indie: yeah man i wanna be 👵 af fore i start Indie: like ro Rio: i don't wanna be that old Rio: how i gonna be a MILF then Indie: u kno catch me @ 25 Indie: i aint got chill Indie: & you a milf now bitch hello Rio: you know i ain't but i'll have to live vicariously probs Rio: 😘 ty Indie: mckenna will step up to b a real daddy you all good Rio: it makes it too real Rio: stick with my imaginary dream baby daddy Indie: you got a 💎💍💎 girl how fake is it Indie: mhmmm tho who he be? 😏😏😏😏 Rio: this diamond be so real bitch Rio: wys Indie: lemme bite it Indie: nah thats porcelain yeah Indie: idk Indie: gold? Indie: its something Rio: 😂 child you feral Rio: stay away from my hand and my bling Indie: rude Indie: speaking on imma start climbin if i cant get thru these heads towards you soon Indie: dont get the wrong idea lads Rio: it's literally ridiculous Rio: can't see a damn thing but buster n his da 'cos they freaky giants, head for them like they a landmark bitch Indie: ive shouted well much native 👅 & these wasteman aint tryna no none Indie: fake 🍀 three times removed or what boyyys Rio: that's the real tea Rio: yanks be out here with their st pattys like bitch no Indie: gingers too Indie: it aint make you one of us cos you 🥕 Indie: if you repin you repin Rio: @Nance next time babe Indie: ill say it in irish she aint kno Indie: posh girl Rio: 😶 savage Rio: omg Indie: she wearin the colours but she aint got her mouth round them sounds soz bout it Indie: my ma aint kno none either tho what a madness Rio: s'a dying language babe, loads natives don't even Indie: hacks Indie: we can say how we want Rio: imma text granddad and be like put on danny boy Rio: get 'em emosh, be easier to get out Indie: 👑👑👑 moves Indie: til i get something in my eye again & cant find my way out Rio: you don't work in pubs long as i did without knowing how to calm a crowd babe Indie: innit tho Rio: ooh, I see you Rio: swerve them or imma have to explain Indie: 👀 & 👂s baby Indie: ✌✌✌✌

[tanyatakaishi]

Innocent Games: the rewrite

Without a world to save, petty drama and circumstances have forced a rift between the digidestined. That is until they find themselves in a world shaped solely by their memories, without their partners, where the only monsters to face are themselves. I’m doing it. I’m posting the rewrite. I put it on A03 and after a lot of thought I decided to delete all the old chapters on ff.net. I replaced them with the rewritten version and will be reposting the entire thing over the next few months. You can read it here. Or, you can read on tumblr below. I hope to gain some new readers and have some of my favorite peeps return. :)  Post 02, ignoring the epilogue, pretending tri don’t exist. Rated M for language, upcoming violence and sexual innuendo. Dub ‘cuz dub.

Innocent Games

I've seen worlds.

Before I knew that others existed, before I was torn from mine and forced to save another. Before the Digital World, I was sure they existed.

As a child, my mind teemed with magical places: a world where I could fly, another where I constantly wore a suit of armor (even in the tub) and got everywhere by riding a horse. In one, everything was blue. So blue that I couldn't tell the earth from the sky from the ocean from myself. But my favorite world was the one formed by fading memories: where my brother and I still shared a tiny room and I didn't do much but cry. I remember it in pieces: the legos spread across the floor, Matt's foot in my face when I snuck into his bed and turned in the night, the way we'd run to shut the door when our parents kissed, pretending like we hated it.

I sometimes wonder about the world Oikawa brought us to. If there were a way to get back there, if all those worlds could exist in a world like that.

I used to wonder if I was the only one who wondered.

Now that I'm here, I don't wonder at all.

....

Chapter One Black Hole

...

i need u

The words had been sitting mockingly on his phone for more than an hour, waiting for a response.  Matt frowned, finally left with nothing to do but answer. His college essay sat on his brother's desk, covered with comments in red pen (too poetic, too vague, this should be a semi-colon not a comma) all written in skewed pillars of scratchy scrawl. His eyes slipped sideways, across piles of books and crumpled paper to the disheveled bed. An arm slumped over TK's face, but his knees were pointing toward the ceiling and every now and then he had to readjust his feet to keep them there. Patamon had curled into a nest of blankets by his side, long furry ears masking his face. Matt turned back to his phone and hammered out a line with his fingers. Hanging with my brother tonight.

bring him with

Is your sister coming?

no excuses

Matt could think of a hundred. Nope

i thought blondes had more fun  ¬_¬

With a verbal groan, Matt's fingers found the bridge of his nose. Tai's name blurred across the screen of his mobile. He set the phone face down and fiddled with a box of cigarettes nestled in his pocket, fingertips dancing along the few that remained.

��Better leave them there,” TK mumbled into his mattress. “Mom's gonna flip when she finds out you're smoking.” He lifted his head and Patamon squirmed in his sleep. “Who are you texting?”

Matt pulled out a cigarette anyway, letting it linger against his lips. “Tai.”

“You're not going to light that in here...”

“I'm going outside.”

“Better brace yourself. An hour lecture. Minimum.” TK watched as Matt stood. “You didn't tell her about Sora yet, did you?”

The cigarette bent between Matt's teeth.

“Make that two hours,” said TK.

come on! Mimis back. i told her every1 would be there b a friend and act suprised

With a sigh, Matt closed the balcony door behind him. His phone went off again.

man up. u cant avoid Sora 4ever

I'm not Matt stopped typing and his thumb jabbed into the backspace button, erasing his words. He shoved the phone in his pocket and lit his cigarette.

…

your gonna come cuz im irresitable

Does your phone not have spell check?

its not smart

Sora bit back a smile and rolled her eyes.

“Are you sexting?”

Her whole face flushed. “Omigod, no. Mimi.”

Noodles flopped in front of Sora's nose when Mimi pointed a pair of chopsticks at her. “You look like you're playing coy. Is it Matt?” Mimi grinned and the yakisoba retreated, sliding behind her pink lips with a loud slurp.

“Playing coy?”

Mimi spoke with one cheek full. “Pretending you don't like the sexting.”

“I am not sexting.”

“You and Matt don't sext?”

Sora put her phone down. “No! What if someone read it?”

“Who doesn't enjoy some steamy literature once in a while?”

“My mother.”

“She doesn't like Matt?”

“She doesn't like sexting,” Sora hissed. She hid her face behind her hand when an old couple was seated in the booth beside them. “You did hear me when I said we broke up, right?”

“I'd rather live in denial.” Mimi pouted when Sora glared. “Whyyyy? You guys are so cute together.”

That was true, she guessed. Every picture of them was gorgeous. Matt was perpetually handsome, even when he was at his worst. Did he have a worst, really? His frown practically oozed sex. That definitely wasn't his worst: the brooding crease by his cheekbones and narrowed frosty gaze. His smile certainly wasn't. It was bright and charming, even when he was all awkward and embarrassed and his cheeks burst into rosy splotches.

Sora closed her eyes when her phone chimed with a new message. “I don't know,” she said. “Maybe that's why.”

“Because you guys are cute...?”

“Because we...” A piece of chicken was speared through by her chopstick. “Because we're perfect together.” Sora concentrated on wrapping a single noodle around it. She swore she could hear Mimi's jaw drop.

“Well, that's stupid.”

Sora looked up and found Mimi's mouth had puckered, like she tasted something sour. Her eyes narrowed and Sora's narrowed right back. “Thanks.”

“Explain.”

Sora groaned. “It feels like we're always trying too hard. We never fight.” She sighed when Mimi raised her brows. “I mean about us. Our relationship. Shouldn't we fight about us sometimes?”

“You broke up with Matt because you guys don't fight about your relationship?”

“You're making it sound stupid.”

“I'm just repeating what you said.”

Sora flicked a straw wrapper at her and it barely fluttered. “I tried once. To fight with him. About the band. I acted like I was jealous of it, even though I wasn't.” She laughed and Mimi took another big bite of yakisoba. “He just looked at me, you know, like he was trying to get me and then he asked if he should quit.”

“Seriously?”

“Dead serious. He wasn't even mad. He said it didn't matter. Like music didn't matter more than me.”

“That's really sweet.”

“It's not. It's uncomfortable.” Sora poked at her food and everything seemed to rush out of her in one breath. “I'm always uncomfortable. When its just us, I get... he makes me nervous – my stomach hurts, sometimes I can't even breathe.”

“Sounds like a crush.”

“It's exactly like a crush.” Sora frowned. “For four years.”

Mimi swallowed another bite of noodles and stared at her, hard. “You broke up with Matt because you've had a crush on him for four years.”

“I just want to be friends again. I want to sit in a room with him while he plays guitar and not feel like I have to sing his praises. I want to work on a sketch without him telling me how beautiful it is. I want him to forget our anniversary. I want him to do something wrong.” Sora's eyes sunk to her uneaten meal and found a notification on her phone.

“You want someone less perfect.”

Nodding, Sora checked her messages. “I guess.”

sora you dissapoint me. i left u the perfect opening and u blew it. so u coming 2 the party or what?

“Do you want to go to this party Tai's bugging me about?” Sora asked.

Mimi beamed. “Who do you think convinced him to go?”

….

emergency meeting

“I call bullshit,” Davis grumbled.

The pew pew pew of the arcade shooter quieted when Yolei stopped her relentless button mashing to raise a brow at him. It shot up like a question mark beneath her lenses, glaring with the countless lights of electronics. “What?”

Leaning against the side of an old pinball machine, Davis lifted his phone so she could see the text on his screen.

Ken took out another couple zombies before racking up his arcade gun. Davis huffed when Ken's name outranked his in the high scores.

Pushing hair behind his ear, Ken pulled his cell from his back pocket. “I have the same text.”

Yolei hung up the gun she'd still been holding and grinned devilishly when her name climbed to the top of the screen. She flipped open her phone. “He sent it to all of us.

“It's bullshit,” Davis spat. “Guaranteed. Mimi's in town, scheming. She probably stole his phone.”

“It does say emergency,” said Ken.

“Wait. No, Davis is right. I think he's bluffing.” She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her purse and attempted to smooth it. “Apparently Tai's class is lacking in graphic designers. I think someone did this in Paint. God awful.”

She held up a flyer covered in ridiculously drawn confetti and written entirely in Comic Sans. “The seniors are throwing a graduation party.”

Ken looked at his phone again. “Why would Tai invite underclassmen?”

“Because it's Tai,” said Yolei. “He likes attention.”

Davis frowned. “He's going to beat me up.”

“Oh please, he messaged all of us.”

“I'm not going,” said Davis. Bullshit, he typed.

u got me emergency party

And then a second later, dont worry, im not gonna beat u up

Davis leaned forward, peering suspiciously around the corner to find a bunch of elementary kids gathered around the latest version of DDR. No Tai. He held up a finger when Yolei tried to talk to him. Thanks, he wrote. It took him a while to hammer out the next line. Kari gonna be there? I need to talk to her.

maybe not

“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Yolei.

Davis flinched and shrugged his shoulder into her chin, nudging her away. “Stop reading my texts.”

“You were about to show it to me anyway.”

True, but he wasn't about to admit it.  “Mind your own business.”

“Please, your business is everyone's business.”

“No it's not.” Davis looked to Ken for back up and was let down by a shrug. “Shut up.”

“I didn't say anything,” said Ken.

Davis huffed and showed Ken his phone. “What is this supposed to mean?”

“I think he's being purposefully elusive.”

“So that I come? Or I don't? Maybe he forgot to leave me out of the message.”

“I doubt that,” said Ken.

“He knows it takes two to tango,” said Yolei.

“There was no tango-ing,” Davis snapped, trying not to sound disappointed. “We had a moment.”

“With your tongues. While she was dating TK.”

Davis reached into his hair to fiddle with his goggles before he remembered they were missing. He could still picture them, nestled in Kari's hair. He crossed his arms. “I know, I know. I'm an asshole.”

“You just weren't thinking,” said Ken.  If it had come from someone else, Davis would've taken it as an insult, but Ken did this thing with his voice that was eerily soothing.

“Was that Kari's excuse?” Yolei's eyes went all squinty, the same way they did whenever she took off her glasses. Davis sorta wanted to steal them so she always looked that stupid.

“It was a moment,” he repeated.

She was already ignoring him, fingernails clicking against buttons as she hammered out her own texts at breakneck speed.

Davis pouted at Ken and returned to Tai's message. It must have taken him a good five minutes to write back, because Ken was already winning against the next round of computer zombies.  Tell her to come. I'll be good. You can even chaperone us.

His phone gave a pleasant chirp in return.

as if u had a choice

Davis started to respond when Yolei's voice squealed, “Oh! We're doing makeovers at Sora's!”

“We?” he asked.

“For the party. With Mimi. The girls,” Yolei said. Before Davis could open his mouth again, she looked up from her phone to glare at him. “Kari's not coming.”

He frowned. “Crap.”

Ken gave him a small smile. “Whack-a-mole?”

“How'd ya guess?”

…

emergency meeting

Green eyes scanned the words through thin metal bars. Ripping off his glove, Cody typed a quick reply. Where?

His fingers tapped impatiently on the end of a shinai while he waited for a response. “Sorry, sensei.”

Removing his helmet, Chikara Hida gave a wave of dismissal and kicked back a swig of prune juice. His white beard came back glistening around a smile, wrinkles kissing the corners of his cheeks. “How is the Digital World these days?”

“Peaceful.” Cody pulled off his own helmet and pushed strands of damp hair from his eyes. He looked over his shoulder to where Upamon was happily playing with his own mini shinai, his oversized ears swinging it around with strange precision. Cody's attention turned back to his phone and it felt suddenly heavy in his hand. “It's been a long time since we've had a meeting.”

“We haven't seen anyone since I've been back,” complained Upamon, suddenly dropping his weapon. He bounced across the dojo floor and flew into Cody's back, forcing him forward. “Are we having a meeting?”

“Sounds like it.” His phone chimed and he peered down at the new message.

Bullshit, it said. A tiny avatar bursting with burgundy hair appeared beside it. Davis was grinning behind his goggles and shooting up what he must have thought was some sort of American gang sign.

Cody squinted at his phone, watching as Tai and Davis messaged back and forth.

“Is everything all right?” his grandfather asked.

“False alarm,” Cody answered flatly. He gave Upamon's head an affectionate pat and typed out a quick message of his own.

Davis, you're in a group text.

His phone chimed again.

Fuck

…

Ba-ding.

Ba-ding. Ba-ding.

Ba-ding.

The phone slid under a pillow and a body slid under the sheets, further and further until it was just a ball at the foot of the bed. It gave a pitiful moan. “Please stop.”

A door creaked open. “You could turn it off.”

The lump shook, a pathetic vibrating that only ended when the smoothly tucked corners of the the comforter were yanked out from under the mattress, uncovering it.

Susumu Kamiya sat on the bed and gave his daughter's hair a rub. Chestnut strands stuck in every direction, clinging to the sheets.

Kari pulled the covers back over her head. “I messed everything up,” she moaned, wiping damp cheeks into her mattress. “Even Tai's mad at me.”

“He's not mad at you, honey. He's just brothering.” Susumu laughed, just a little snort of appreciation at his own humor. “You know, like mothering, but he's your broth—”

“Got it, Dad,” Kari moaned.

“Anyway, you didn't mess everything up. You're in high school, Kari. This isn't time for a serious relationship anyway.”

“You mean any relationship.”

“That's my girl.”

Ba-ding.

Susumu's hand reached and slipped under her pillow. He started scrolling through her messages.

Kari peeked from under the covers. “Dad!”

“You don't want to read that. Or that.” He stretched his arm away from her grabbing hand. “Protecting my daughter's virtue is my dadly duty. Please.”

Kari found her nose smushed under his palm. “Stop looking at my—”

“Definitely not that. Wow. I'm gonna have a talk with his mother about that language. Oh here.” Susumu released her face and handed her the phone. A row of texts had appeared, all accompanied by a grinning picture of Mimi Tachikawa, who (courtesy some good trick photography) seemed to be sporting Lady Liberty's crown.

“You should go have fun with the girls,” Susumu said. “Get out of the house.”

Kari looked up from her phone and frowned. “Stop fathering me.”

“Too late.” He patted her knee with a boyish grin. “Did that a long time ago.”

….

im here. ur mom made dinner. its delish

“Mmmmm, Mrs. Izumi,” Tai mumbled through a mouthful of dumplings, “dese are amadin'.” He grabbed another between his fingers and offered it to Joe, who sat awkwardly beside him, knees knocking into the Izumi's coffee table.

Joe peered over his glasses at the food, moist in Tai's palm. “Let's leave some for Izzy.”

Shrugging, Tai popped it in to join the others. The bedroom door opened.

“Iddy!” Tai swallowed. “Can I have your mom?”

Izzy's eyes, dark and lined with heavy shadows, flickered to the kitchen where his mother was putting together another plate. His attention turned back to Tai who seemed to be waiting for a serious answer. “No.”

“I have some fresh bok choy and garlic,” Mrs. Izumi said, carrying a tray into the living room. The smell preceded her and Tai's mouth started to water.

“Trade?”

Izzy ignored him and turned his attention to Joe. “I'm going to make an educated guess and conclude the emergency's a farce.”

“This is why I don't add you to group texts,” Tai grumbled. “You ruin all the fun.”

Mrs. Izumi set the bok choy on the table and Tai quickly snatched some up with his chopsticks, thanking her through a loud slurp. “Would you boys like anything to drink?” she asked.

“Could I take my dinner in my room?”

“Oh, well, of course, Izzy, but,” Mrs. Izumi seemed to hesitate, her hands wringing together, “don't you want to take a break?”

“I want to show them what I've been working on,” he said, rubbing a tired eye. “I'll go to bed after that.”

“No way, emergency meeting, Izzy.”

Izzy set his eyebrows until they looked like a big bushy V and Tai grimaced.

“Is everything all right?”

“Everything's fine, Mom. Don't worry.”

“Okay, I'll just put this all on a tray for you. Tai, Joe, are you staying for—”

“No,” Izzy said. “They have a party to go to.” He pulled open his door, motioning for them to step inside.

“Aw man,” Tai moaned, slumping into Izzy's office chair. His neck craned backwards, making it seem as if his large mop of hair was weighing him down. “Killjoy, that's what you are. I coulda boxed that up and taken it home for later. Do you know how hard it is to get a good meal at my house?”

Izzy pushed the chair so that it rolled away from his desk, Tai flopping with it. An array of screens were running in black and white, with code so tiny that Tai had squint his eyes to make out any of it.

“So what's got you too busy to make it to my graduation party? This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity, Izzy.”

“No one went to mine,” interjected Joe, stretching his legs as he sat on Izzy's bed. “Including me.”

“Wrong.” Tai snapped his fingers. “I went to yours.”

Izzy tapped a couple of lines into the screen, his dark eyes running back and forth to double check his work. He looked haggard. His red hair was long again, sticking out in every direction in greasy clumps. Tai was about to ask when he'd last thought to take a shower when he spoke up.

“I'm replicating the data that existed in the world MaloMyotismon brought Davis's team into.”

Tai sat up straight and used his feet to roll the chair forward. His eyes danced over the screens. “You mean Whoop-ass Wishing World?”

“That's what you named it?” Joe asked.

Tai gave a shrug. “Davis did. Made sense.”

“WWW.” Izzy's top lip curled with a hint of amusement, fingers still flying across the keys. “Because of it's connection to the Digital World, I've actually managed to extract a quantitative code that could potentially give us the power to create tangible spaces with the images in our brains: memories, dreams...”

Joe gave a heavy swallow. “You're kidding.”

“Not at all,” groaned a voice beside his rear.

Joe jumped, literally taking off across the room with a hand clutched over his breast when Tentomon appeared from under the covers.

“He's been working on it all night,” Tentomon moaned, green digital eyes flickering sleepily. “And all day. And the night before that and the night before that...”

“So what you're saying is”—Tai gave a big grin and rolled up, bumping the back of the chair into Izzy's legs—“he needs a break. A party perhaps?”

Izzy was already shaking his head. “I'm not going, Tai. Do you have any idea what a breakthrough like this could mean? We can dream up”—he started to look a bit manic— “endless possibilities. This could mean a world of unlimited resources... we can literally create an entire world of unlimited resources.”

“You must have weird dreams.”

“He has no time for dreams,” yawned Tentomon. “Never sleeps.”

“Izzy, Izzy, Izzy,” Tai tsked. He stood and threw an arm around his shoulders. “You gotta know when to quit. This isn't healthy, is it, Joe?”

Joe was already busy picking up an assortment of empty tea bottles from the floor. “I hope you're drinking water.”

Izzy lifted his shadow-rimmed eyes to Tai's, squinting. “Breakthrough.”

“Is this why you missed my soccer game Friday?” Tai pouted when Izzy gave a shrug. “You wound me.”

A knock disturbed them and Mrs. Izumi slowly opened the door with a tray of food in her arms. There was enough for all of them even though they weren't staying. “It's so nice to see you boys,” she said when Izzy quickly turned back to his screen. “It's been too long.”

Tai deflated. “College applications, ugh.”

In truth, they were only half the problem. It had been more than six months since he had attempted to get the group together.  The older they got, the more complicated everything seemed to get. School was a given, relationships were just, ugh, drama... heck, even soccer was crazy. A quarter of the team was stressing over college scouts. Tai was over it. He hated complicated – the stress, everything--it was easier to avoid it.

“Just wait until you're in college,” groaned Joe. “I don't even know why I'm here.”

“Easy.” Tai grinned. “Me.”

Mrs. Izumi smiled. “I can't believe how much you've all grown.” She set the tray down and the fingers on her hand twitched, just behind her son's red hair. It lowered suddenly when Izzy began to plug in another line of a code and Tai noticed the way her smile stretched when her eyes filled with tears.

Joe must have noticed too, because he started fumbling with his armful of empty bottles and excused himself, bolting out of the room to throw them into the recycling bin.

Izzy immediately stopped typing and turned to her. “I can't speak for Tai, but I'd deduce my growth has a lot to do with your incredible cooking.” He rubbed one tired eye and forced a grateful smile.

“Please speak for me,” Tai said, swiping yet another dumpling. He internally breathed a sigh of relief when Mrs. Izumi's face lit up, tears shining.

“I really appreciate it,” Izzy continued. Pink welled into his cheeks when she kept smiling. “Thanks, Mom.”

Her voice came out sweet and strangled. “You're welcome, sweetheart. You boys let me know if there is anything else I can get you.” The door closed after Tai caught her wiping her eyes.

He turned to Izzy. There was a brief moment unspoken between them, a concern Tai wasn't sure how to voice: What's going on? Why is your mom crying? Are you okay?

Izzy turned back to his screen and Tentomon buzzed into the side of his leg, a not so subtle nudge. He leaned down to grab a dumpling from his partner's outstretched claw.

“I'll call you when I've reached a stopping point,” Izzy said before taking a bite. His mouse clicked once, twice, and then he reached backwards without looking and rolled the office chair back in front of the desk. He took a seat and clicked again.

“Okay, I get it.” Tai shoveled a mound of food into his palm for the road. “You're on a roll. Breakthrough. Yeah, call me when you decide to be cool again.”

“A breakthrough that could theoretically save the world.”

“Meh. Already did that. Literally.” Tai put one last dumpling on his pile. “You make sure he gets a shower later, eh Tentomon?”

Izzy frowned while Tentomon gave an obedient salute.

Tai's fingers danced by his head in a weak imitation of Medusa's snakes. “Your hair, Izzy, geez. Shower! Water, food... life!” He tore into the dough with his teeth and spoke through a mouthful of pork. “You know Mimi's gonna be there, right?”

There was another light flush in Izzy's cheeks and Tai felt triumphant.

“Tell her I said hello,” Izzy mumbled before taking his own bite of food. “How long is she in town?”

“A week, I think.” Tai gave a shrug and headed for the door. “Life,” he hissed, backing out of the room. “La-iiife.” He could have sworn he saw Izzy start to laugh, just the slightest shake of his shoulders.

Joe almost ran into his back. “Where are you going?”

Tai popped another piece of food into his mouth. “To da pardy.”

“What, that's it? You aren't going to drag him out by the collar and call him a pansy?”

“Nope.”

Joe glared through his lenses. “Yet it's perfectly acceptable to do to me?”

“Can't do it to Izzy.” Tai slapped him between the shoulders of his collared shirt, hard. “He's got a backbone.”

…

The screen had gone blurry long before he finally quit. Izzy's face lowered onto the keyboard, crushing keys. Blank lines entered beneath the cursor until there was nothing left but black. It took a minute before he realized he'd fallen asleep.

Izzy peeled his sticky cheek from the back of his hand and robotically erased the lines until he was back to a screen full of code. He rubbed his eyes but the numbers wouldn't focus. Yawning, he saved his work and rolled his chair backwards.

“Shower,” he mumbled, still hearing Tai's voice chiming cheerfully in his ear.

It had been a long time since Tai had been by.

Maybe it just felt long. Time didn't pass normally when he was working. Obsessing, Tentomon would say worriedly from his usual position on his bed. The digimon spent the rest of his time in the kitchen with his mom, worrying. Izzy cast a look over his shoulder as he trudged tiredly to the hall, catching the digimon snoring beneath the covers. Guilt crawled into his belly and he slowly closed the door behind him.

Izzy tried to shake it off. It would be over soon. The program was complete. It was riddled with bugs, a million different glitches that he couldn't seem to figure out, but the essence was there. The power to create, just waiting for his fingertips.

Turning on the water seemed mundane, infinitesimal in comparison to everything he could be doing. Necessary only because he was, unfortunately, still very human.

Izzy stared at himself in the mirror, his red hair was greasy and wild from endless frustrated tugs and long enough that it looked a miniature version of Tai's gravity defying mane. He attempted to smooth it and it stuck to his scalp in kinky waves. He gave himself a small sniff and his nose crinkled with disgust.

Sighing, he stripped and stepped into the shower. Code danced across his closed eyes, burnt permanently into his retinas, while the screen in his room slowly ate it away.

Inside his computer, the numbers collapsed. Code slipped from all sides of the monitor, funneling to the center of the screen. The whole room flashed, a distortion of a pixels, just a glimpse into the world beyond. Then everything went silent.

Months of work lost and in its wake, a black hole, just waiting for something else to come close.