#anyway this one goes out to all of my supporting and slightly evil supporting girlies

[plaza-fool]

I love you Lucille Bluth I love you CC Babcock I love you Jenna Maroney I love you Jen Barber I love you Kelly Kapoor I love you Tammy II I love you Britta Perry I love you Tahani Al-Jamil I love you Roz Doyle I love you Elliot Reid

[sinfulwonders]

I think prompt #82 would be cool! Anyway you’d want to take it. Maybe pregame where they both are at a party? Honestly I love your writing and I think you could do something cool with it! Fluff/Angst/NSFW whatever you’d like! Preferably a happy ending of some sort of possible! Thanks for the consideration!

Wow. I am so so SO sorry this took so ridiculously long to write. I hope you enjoy it anon. I had most of it written a while ago, but doing the WIP challenge I found it and decided to finish it! Again, so sorry it took forever. It’s ingame, not pregame, so I hope that’s okay!

The Party

Words: 4613

Prompt: 82.  “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.”  “I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”

Summary: Shuichi goes to a party! Drunk shenanigans ensue!

“So, Saihara-kun, did you decide whether you are coming to my party tonight?” Shuichi jumped at the sudden presence of a young girl standing in front of his desk.

“A-akamastu-san,” Stuttered the startled detective, as Kaede leaned in inquisitively. “Umm, yes, I’ll be there.”

The ultimate pianist pumped a fist in the air in triumph. She turned around towards the other side of the classroom and shouted to a group of students talking and laughing amongst themselves.

“Saihara-kun said he’ll come tonight!”

“That’s what I like to hear from my sidekick!” responded Kaito, who proceeded to flash a smile and his signature thumbs up. Maki gave a curt nod of approval from next to him.

The rest of the students congregated near Kaito and Maki gave similar nods and words of praise followed by a few cheers of approval.

Shuichi blushed, “Me being there w-won’t make much of a difference on the party. I-it’s really not a big deal.” He felt himself hiding his face in the cap that rested loosely on his head.

Kaede could tell he was growing anxious from being the center of attention. She took his hand in her own and pulled him out of his chair.

She gave him a warm smile as he rose, and he slowly responded with a small, nervous grin.

“We’re all just thrilled that you’ve decided to hang out with us outside of school! There are no expectations of you at this party, we just want to hang out with you, Saihara-kun!”

Shuichi breathed a small sigh of relief as he felt his body relax just a bit. While attending Hope’s Peak High school for the past few months, he had managed to grow close with several of the students. He considered that an incredibly impressive feat, as he was terribly intimidated by his fellow Ultimates. After all, he never thought he deserved to be at the school, as his first case was a mistake that haunted Shuichi constantly. This inferiority complex accompanied with his social anxiety (especially in group settings), made hanging out with his classmates outside of school a fear-inducing scenario.

After a few words of encouragement from Kaito, the group began to go back to their previous conversation. Kaede nudged Shuichi and spoke quietly where only he could hear, “I’m so proud of you for going to this, and hopefully you’ll have a wonderful time! I know you’re nervous, but thank you for facing that fear for our sakes!”

Shuichi cringed at her sweet smile.

I wish my intentions were that pure.

Shuichi was not going to this party for Kaede. He was not going to this party for Kaito or Maki or any of his supportive friends. He was going strictly to investigate. There was a thorn at his side, an unexplainable enigma of a person that perplexed him. It was equally bothersome and intriguing, and when Shuichi caught wind that he would be attending Kaede’s party he had made up his mind to overcome his anxiety for a night and go to learn more.

This party isn’t a social event for me Kaede, I’m sorry. I just need to figure him out. I need to know his motives and what he’s thinking…Ko-

“Saihara-chan  ̴!”

Speak of the devil.

Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, also known as a consistent source of Shuichi’s distress, skipped into the classroom, a childlike smile adorning his pale face as he made his way to the detective. The green haired Rantaro Amami followed behind, sighing like an unenthusiastic babysitter.

“Oma-kun…I t-told you, that name’s too girly for me…” Shuichi sighed, knowing that insisting that Kokichi use proper honorifics for the umpteenth was useless.

“Well kun is way too harsh to describe a pretty boy like you!” Kokichi spoke in a sing-song tone, but his face held a mischievous smirk.

Shuichi blushed involuntarily and Kokichi’s eyes lit up.

“Is my beloved Saihara-chan falling for me?” After the words left his mouth he suddenly got closer and his eyes face darkened as he whispered, “What happens if the detective falls for the supreme leader of evil?”

“O-oma-”

“Nyeheehee!” His face was back to his regular devious smile, and he leaned back from the detective, hands resting behind his head, “As much fun as it is to torture you, I actually came because Rantaro told me that you were coming to the piano nerd’s party tonight!”

Rantaro shrugged as Shuichi looked at him. The green haired boy had an unnatural talent for being the first to know anything. He always had the most popular music, clothes, and anything else that was trendy months before it became mainstream.

Maybe Rantaro should have been known as the Ultimate Hipster instead of the Ultimate Adventurer… But wait, he wasn’t even here for that conversation! How did he-

Rantaro, seeing Shuichi’s confused expression, lazily nodded in the direction of a tall boy sitting in the back of the classroom, “Shinguji texted me.”

“Oh okay…” Shuichi responded, not knowing that the two were even friends. He turned back to Kokichi, “Yeah, I’m going to the party.”

Kokichi’s face lit up, “That’s great! I’m so happy I won’t even poison your drink like I was planning! I’ll still poison Miu’s though, since I heard that doing random acts of kindness helps build a stronger community! I mean freeing everyone from a long-term headache is pretty kind, don’t you think?”

“Shut up, Cock-kichi!” screamed the abrasive inventor, running over to the boy at the sound of her name.

The two started flinging vulgar insults at each other and Shuichi decided that that was a good enough distraction to sneak away from the situation. As the detective took step out the classroom door, he glanced back at the two fighting. He locked eyes with Kokichi. The boy grinned that conniving grin as he mouthed:

“See you tonight.”

Shuichi rushed out of the room, irritated with Kokichi’s deliberate flirting just to take him off guard. He had a purely professional interest in Kokichi Oma. As a detective it was his duty to find out if any of his claims about running a massive evil organization and committing crimes were true. He didn’t think so, but he needed to figure out how to tell if Kokichi was lying. He wasn’t obsessing over a classmate.

I have a moral obligation.

He told himself that as he had watched the supreme leader during class the entirety of last week. Shuichi sat behind him, so it was natural for him to look that direction. He had watched how he interacted with different people, physical reactions, and facial features, but hadn’t come to any clear conclusion on the boy having a ‘tell’. He wished he had more opportunities to stare into Kokichi’s large violet eyes, not because he thought they were mesmerizing, but to get a read on the boy of course. It also didn’t help that Shuichi had no baseline. Since Kokichi lied about everything, there were no clear truths or lies to base a pattern from. Kokichi was truly a mystery for Shuichi to solve. A mystery Shuichi needed to solve.

A mystery wrapped in white cotton and soft purple hair, smelling slightly of lavender.

And so it was in his unquestionably professional interest that he attended the party that night.

--------------

He arrived at the venue an hour after the party began, as he had read somewhere that that’s the cool thing to do. Rantaro opened the door, holding a red solo cup in hand and smiling wider than Shuichi had ever seen him before.

“Welcome to my humble abode!” he swayed, definitely tipsy.

Although Kaede was throwing the party, Rantaro had offered his off campus flat (special permission was given to him by the school to stay there instead of the dorms) as a venue for the party. It seems that one of the benefits was that the students could drink freely without worry of getting caught drinking on campus.

“Come on in, make yourself at home! Drinks are over in the kitchen!” Rantaro sauntered off, zigzagging through the many people contained in the modestly sized flat.

So. Many. People.

There were more people than just Shuichi’s classmates. It seemed as the entirety of Hope’s Peak was crammed into the two bedroom apartment. The music blared and a blur of unrecognizable faces practically swallowed the detective. He inhaled sharply.

You can do this.

He nervously stepped into the mass of people, following the flow of steps and desperately looking for any friendly faces. His panicked anxiety causing him to forget his true motive for being here almost immediately. He ended up in the kitchen, the sound of Kaito’s loud voice drew him like a magnet.

“Damn it, how’d you win again?” Kaito yelled, an exasperated Maki lightly holding him back from flipping over the beer pong table.

The fluffy haired blonde at the other end of the table smiled kindly at the shouting astronaut, “I’m sure you’ll beat me next game! I’m worthless, nothing compared to an actual ultimate such as yourself!” the boy’s eyes got wider and more wild and Shuichi took a step back instinctively, “My luck is bound to run out soon, so when it does please use me as a stepping stone to bring hope to every beer pong enthusiast in the universe!!!!!” He cackled.

“Komaeda, you need to chill with giving that hope speech to everyone we meet… you’re really hurting our friend retention rate,” a brunette male mused next to the still manically laughing blonde. He took the boy’s hand and said quieter, “Also… you’re not worthless.”

Little did the brunette know, that Kaito was too competitive to back down from a challenge, even one from a self-deprecating hope-enthusiast.

“Oh it’s on! Maki Roll, you ready to play one more round and beat this punk?” Maki sighed in anguish and glanced up, locking eyes with Shuichi.

“Saihara!” she said uncharacteristically enthusiastically, “You just got here right?”

“Hey guys, yeah I just got here,” Shuichi walked up to the pair.

“Perfect. Kaito, meet your new partner.”

“Eh? But-” Shuichi was instantly silenced by the intense glare Maki shot him. She quickly pushed the two closer and dashed off, avoiding various people and obstacles with reflexes faster than what should be capable of the ultimate child caregiver.

“Haha! I guess Maki Roll got sick of me!” Kaito chuckled, “I guess we have been playing for a while now... but this kid is just so annoyingly lucky… That’ll change soon if I keep playing!”

I need to remind myself to never take Kaito gambling.

It turns out that Kaito and Maki had been playing beer pong since the party began.

No wonder she got out of there. I guess I’m stuck now, but this is way better than standing around not knowing what to do with my body.

Nagito threw the first ball, and it plopped softly into a cup.

“Newbies take the first drink!” Kaito cheered, patting his sidekick on the back. Shuichi sighed and took a drink of the amber liquid. The cheap beer went down his throat with only a mildly repulsive aftertaste.

And, as an added bonus: For the first time since he arrived, Shuichi was able to loosen up a bit.

And he continued to loosen as the boys began their devastating losing streak to Nagito Komaeda and Hajime Hinata.

“Prretty ssure we almosst had em that time,” Kaito slurred as he swayed at the end of the table, obviously drunk from spending two hours losing badly at beer pong and, as a consequence, drinking a lot of beer. Shuichi, having started much later, was not wasted but was still very tipsy.

“Kaito- Kaito I think we gotta be done. You’re too…you’re too drunk.” The detective stumbled over his words, struggling to sound as sober and authoritative as possible. The wasted Kaito agreed eventually, stumbling over to the couch when he saw that Maki was over there. Shuichi smiled and rolled his eyes at his friend’s predictable nature.

He watched him sit and talk with Maki and sighed in relief at being released from mom mode. He wandered around in the flat, no longer anxiety ridden. Shuichi felt confident, and also fuzzy, like everything was a little out of focus.

But mostly confident.

Shuichi suddenly noticed a black and white checkered scarf in the distance, a flash of purple entering what seemed to be Rantaro’s bedroom. Shuichi followed the boy in as much of a straight line as he could, to discover what he was doing. He peeked in to see Kokichi in the dimly lit room sprawled on the bed, scrolling through his phone, and very much alone. Kokichi quickly looked up and caught the not-so-sneaky-especially-while-drunk Shuichi staring at him in the doorway.

“I-I umm, hi Oma-kun.” Shuichi said, disappointed that he’d been discovered so easily.

“Saihara-chan, hi. Come to escape the noise, too?” His demeanor seemed different than at school as he sat up on the bed. Calm and quiet. But as his Shuichi entered the bedroom, his mask quickly reappeared, “Or did you come to be alone with me?” He crooned.

Shuichi rolled his eyes at the boy’s usual aggressive flirting to make him uncomfortable trick and plopped down on the mattress next to the supreme leader. Kokichi raised an eyebrow in interest.

“You’re a weird guy, Oma.” Shuichi stated, no malice in his voice, “I can’t figure you out.”

Kokichi laughed, “You just figured out that I’m unsolvable? Man, maybe you’re not the ultimate detective after all!”

“I wouldn’t say unsolvable. It’s certainly a pain though,” Shuichi sighed and fell backwards, letting his head hit the sheets.

“Then why do you keep trying?” Kokichi asked, head tilted like a puppy.

Shuichi stared at Kokichi for a second and laughed out loud. Kokichi looked taken off guard for once.

“You know, that’s a really great question,” Shuichi smiled up at the boy looking over him, “I keep avoiding that question myself, so I don’t think I could give you a good answer.”

Kokichi laid back on his back beside the detective, meeting his gaze.

“Ya know, most people are boring. They’re predictable and easy to figure out. I’m glad I don’t bore you, Saihara-chan.”

This time, hearing Kokichi call him Saihara-chan didn’t seem to bother Shuichi. Kokichi said it like it was an endearing nickname.

Kokichi continued, speaking quieter, “And you know… you’re not boring either. To me I mean.”

As weird as it was, it seemed that Kokichi had given the detective an honest compliment. It didn’t seem backhanded or sarcastic, unless Kokichi was a much better liar than Shuichi had previously suspected.

The detective couldn’t help but blush a little.

The two boys laid there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but soon enough Kokichi jumped to his feet, his mischievous smile once again plastered on his face.

“We better hurry back, or we’ll look pretty suspicious! Alone in a bedroom like this! What will your dear Kaito say?”

Shuichi rolled his eyes and stood to his feet, instantly remembering that he had a lot to drink as the room shook slightly, “Yeah let’s go.”

The two boys exited the room to find the flat much emptier than a few minutes prior.

“How long were we in there?” Shuichi wondered out loud.

Shuichi and Kokichi made their way to the kitchen, and after being forced into taking shots with a drunk Kaede and Rantaro, the two told them that after learning that Rantaro’s apartment complex had a volleyball court, a large chunk of drunk students had gone to play a game.

“Well, I say game, but Akane Owari, from the other class, is ready for war,” Rantaro sighed, “She challenged Nidai to a volleyball showdown and things may have gotten a little out of hand when someone suggested it be boys vs girls. Needless to say, Chabashira is out for blood…”

Shuichi winced when he heard that. Tenko was ready for any chance to bring the population of degenerate males down a peg or two.

“Well what’s the plan now Amami-kun?” Kaede asked, a little disappointed that so many people had left her party at once.

“Well there’s still a bunch of people around,” Rantaro noted as he looked at the no longer packed apartment, “So we could always play a group game.”

“Like truth or dare or something?” Kaede asked, eyes lighting up.

“Ugh, truth or dare sucks,” Kokichi groaned, “half the game is so boringgggg. Why don’t we play dare or drink?”

“Dare or drink?” Shuichi lifted an eyebrow.

“Yeah! My organization created it to get rid of the worst part of truth or dare: the truth! Of course we used play a slightly different version… ‘Dare or Die’…but we had to switch it up because we were losing too many people!”

The three others sighed at Kokichi’s outrageous lies. At least Shuichi was pretty sure it was a lie. But the group agreed and Kaede gathered a group of people together. Shuichi happily accepted Rantaro’s offer of another shot. He let out a hiccup and a small giggle as he poured a drink for the game, which caused Kokichi to scan his narrowed eyes over the boy.

“Are you good, Saihara-chan?”

Shuichi saw what he surmised to be genuine concern on the boy’s face.

This is my chance to get back at him!

“Aww, are you worried about me…Oma-chan?” Shuichi mimicked Kokichi’s usual sing-song tone, and even copied his use of chan. He stuck his tongue out at the boy when he didn’t receive a reply, and he sauntered off towards the gathering group of teens. He smiled to himself that he had been the one to catch Kokichi off guard for once. He didn’t know that the supreme leader had stayed back to hide his red face from him and the others.

 -----------

Soon, the students that hadn’t gone to play or watch the volleyball war taking place outside were gathered in a circle to play ‘Dare or Drink’.

“I am so thrilled to experience a classic game from your culture! I am ready to absorb as much information as I can about this ‘Dare or Drink’ for the people of Novoselic!” shouted a very excited Sonia Nevermind.

“Umm…Miss Sonia…it’s not actually a classic game, Oma-kun made it u-” Kazuichi Soda attempted to correct the princess but was interrupted by a still very drunk Kaito.

“Soda! I dare you to write out an embarrassingly sexy text and send it to a random contact in your phone.”

And so the group began their game of dare or drink.

 --------------

Shuichi could barely remember why he had ever been nervous to hang out with his classmates outside of school.

With alcohol involved this is easy!

“Saihara,” Rantaro purred, “I dare you to kiss a guy in this room.”

Never mind. This is awful.

“H-huh? W-who?” Shuichi stuttered as he glanced around the room.

Rantaro hummed at the question, then a sly smile overtook his face, “Pick the guy you think is the cutest…”

Shuichi focused his mind a bit, and thought.

Do I find any of my classmates cute? I mean Momota is an attractive guy, but I just think that in a best friend kinda way, plus he’s really not my type. Amami is attractive, but I don’t think he’s anything compared to Oma, I mean his cute face and those eyes… Wait a second…

Do I like Oma?

He looked over at the boy, who was now giving him a sultry stare and licking his lips.

“I choose drink!” Shuichi blurted out, his face now beet red.

“Aww even drunk Saihara-chan is a prude! How predictable!” Kokichi laughed as Shuichi chugged the rest of his mixed drink.

He couldn’t help but be more than a little hurt by the words of his newly realized crush. Even if said crush didn’t realize his new status.

I mean I came to this party for him, after all. Even if he doesn’t know it. That’s pretty rude.

Because it was true. Although Shuichi’s intentions had been ‘purely professional’, he had indeed come to this party to get to know the supreme leader. And now here he was being accosted by the one and only. That pissed drunk Shuichi off.

“Oh yeah? Well let’s see how you do with the same dare,” Shuichi tried to glare as menacingly as possible at the boy sitting across from him, which only was effective at making Kokichi laugh harder, “I dare you to kiss the cutest boy in the room.”

“Is repeating dares even allowed?” muttered a monotone Maki, but Rantaro shushed her quickly.

“My house, my rules. And I say yes,” He smirked.

“Aww but I can’t kiss myself Saihara-chan! So I guess I can’t do your dare! So sad!” Kokichi gave the detective a dramatic sigh and a pout.

Shuichi didn’t back down, “You can’t count yourself, Oma-kun.”

“Psh. As long as you agree that I’m the cutest one,” Kokichi sang as he stood up and sauntered around the room, lingering on each and every guy sitting around the circle. While inspecting them he announced, “And don’t worry, I’m not gonna wimp out like Saihara-chan! I take this dare very seriously!”

Shuichi rolled his eyes as he popped open a beer that was sitting nearby.

“Eenie meenie miney-” Kokichi lilted nonchalantly as he made his way around the circle. He stopped in front of Shuichi and grinned, “Mo.”

“Eh?”

“We gotta get rid of this emo hat!” Kokichi plopped in front of the detective and quickly removed the hat placed on his head, much to the other’s dismay, “Yep I was right! Saihara-chan really is the prettiest boy here!”

“Wh-what?!” Shuichi stammered. He saw Rantaro chuckling in the background while Maki and Kaito watched the two with abject horror.

“Wwwwhat, you didn’t know you were cute? Were you born in that hat or something? Have you never seen your eyes?” As he bombarded the detective with questions he leaned in closer to the detective’s ears and whispered, “If you really don’t want me to kiss you, just say so. I won’t.”

Shuichi thought about it for a moment and then quickly shook his head, “N-no. It’s fine. Go ahead.”

Kokichi smirked at the answer, “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

He dove onto Shuichi, effectively knocking him onto his back and slammed his lips onto the detective’s. It was a powerful kiss, and at the impact of the ground behind him and Kokichi’s lips on his own, Shuichi let out a gasp. This proved to be the perfect moment for Kokichi to quickly push his tongue into the other’s mouth. Their tongues danced around one another in a strange tangled tango; it was saliva heavy and warm, but decidedly not unpleasant in the slightest.

Shuichi wasn’t sure when he had wrapped his arms around Kokichi, but he had, pulling the smaller closer to him, needing to feel his body heat near his. The smaller had his arms around his neck, his fingers instinctually kneading and caressing the nape. This, along with the feeling of tongues twisting and swirling against one another in his mouth, caused Shuichi to let out an embarrassing moan.

With that Kokichi immediately pulled off of him, untangling his arms and quickly throwing them behind his head. He smirked, “And that, ladies and gentleman: is how it’s done.”

Rantaro, Soda, Sonia, and several others whooped and clapped for the boy. Oma proceeded to bow dramatically as a red-faced and still panting Shuichi finally managed to sit up.

Well that really didn’t go how I intended it to go… but…damn.

Shuichi stared at the supreme leader, now laughing and daring Kaede to do something embarrassing. He wasn’t listening, his eyes just focusing on Kokichi’s lips.

Those lips just…kissed me…

Shuichi quickly inhaled the rest of his beer as a distraction.

 --------------

Rantaro let out a yawn and quietly said, “I think the game is over.”

It really was. The game of Dare and Drink had quickly devolved into a sort of spin the bottle type game, where all the dares now had to do with kissing someone. Shuichi was thankful that he had not been forced to kiss anyone else besides the one time with Kokichi. He didn’t want the flavor of grape chapstick to fade.

As the group dispersed, Shuichi stood and instantly regretted it. The room spun around him and he had trouble balancing. A hangover was inevitable in his near future.

“Ah, Rantaro. Can I crash here?” Shuichi asked wearily, and the green-haired boy smiled cooly in return and said of course.

At least now I don’t have to worry about getting home.

Shuichi thought that while finishing off his umpteenth beer. That’s when he noticed Kokichi alone on the couch. He wandered over, in as straight of a line as he could, and plopped down next to the boy. Kokichi glanced up and grinned, “Just couldn’t get enough of me Saihara-chan?”

“Hmm. Maybe I just felt bad for you,” Shuichi hummed, “You’re sitting all by yourself.”

Kokichi stuck out his tongue and Shuichi couldn’t help but eye it a bit hungrily, “Or maybe you were just desperate for another kiss! Well that’s just too bad, Saihara-chan. You shouldn’t have wimped out on your dare! You could have gotten a second kiss with moi!”

Shuichi frowned, “You seem awfully convinced that I would have chosen you for my dare.”

Kokichi feigned shock, placing his hand over his heart like an overdramatic actor, “Are you saying you wouldn’t pick me?! I’m hurt! Wounded even!” His expression instantly changed to boredom, “But that’s a lie, of course.”

“Which part?”

“Who knows?” Kokichi giggled, “Does it even matter?”

Shuichi decided that this was his chance to catch Oma off guard. He smirked and leaned in, whispering in Kokichi’s ear much like he had done right before he kissed him, “It does matter. And for the record, I would have chosen you, Oma-chan.”

The usually unflappable Kokichi Oma paled and then quickly turned several shades of red. Shuichi took this as his chance and placed a quick peck on Kokichi’s lips, “There. That’s for my dare.”

Kokichi, still red faced but desperately trying to reassemble his mask, chuckled, “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.”

Shuichi chuckled back, and dragged his finger lightly along Kokichi’s jawline, “I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”

“You really let loose tonight, Saihara-chan,” Kokichi mused as the two got closer and closer, as if being pulled together by some magnetic force.

As they neared Shuichi pulled Kokichi into another passionate kiss, not really caring if anyone else saw. Kokichi quickly broke it and looked at Shuichi, eyes wide.

“How are you planning on getting home tonight?” There was no ill-intent in the words, but rather just genuine concern, an emotion very rarely seen from Kokichi.

“Amami-kun is letting me stay the night.”

Kokichi laughed out loud at that, then muttered, “That meddling bastard.” Shuichi cocked an eyebrow and Kokichi sighed and continued, “Rantaro. There’s only two beds. One for him and one for me. Or at least that’s what he told me yesterday. How convenient that he’s suddenly ‘selflessly’ offered for you to stay!”

Shuichi shook his head, “I don’t know about that, I mean I asked… Also I can always sleep on the couch-”

Kokichi scoffed at the very idea, “No way. No way is Saihara-chan lowering himself to sleep on some dirty old couch. Eww. Nope, it’s decided!” Kokichi looped his arm through Shuichi’s own and dragged the wobbly boy to the guest bedroom, “You’re staying with me tonight!”

“I suppose I can live with that.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: The Beginning of Wisdom - Chapter 9 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: Flash, Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Leonard Snart (Len) & Leonard Snart (Leo), Len Snart/Mick Rory, Leo Snart/Mick Rory, Len Snart/Mick Rory/Leo Snart, Leo Snart/Ray Terrill, Len Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: In which Leonard Snart is twins.

(the life and times and loves of Len and Leo Snart)

—————————————————————————————————–

"Have you seen him?" Leo asked quietly, after they’d held each other for some time. They both had excellent internal clocks, of course, but they never functioned right when they were together; that time always seemed to go on forever and yet never be enough. "Mick, I mean?"

"Of course I've seen him," Len snapped, though his vehemence was muted. "I go there practically every day –"

"As yourself?"

"...as Leonard."

"So, not really."

"No," Len agreed. "He always knows it's me, of course, but I don't feel like I deserve to be me around him."

Leo held him close. "You do."

"I hurt him."

"He's forgiven you."

"I haven't forgiven me," Len said. "And if I were you, or Mick, I wouldn't."

"Luckily, you're neither of us," Leo said, shaking his head. He knew that Len would never have held it against Leo or Mick if it had been him that'd been injured and they the cause, not for a second: it was only himself that he ever blamed for not taking the blow meant for another. "You should see him. As you."

"I'm trying," Len said.

I'm scared, he did not say.

"I'll come with you," Leo decided. "Both of us. That'll help."

Len pulled his head back and frowned at him. "The risk –" he started.

"Nothing we haven't dealt with before," Leo said. "Unimportant. We need – I need – to tell him about Ray, before anything else happens."

"Because Mick's first."

"You're first. Then Mick." Leo frowned. "And Lisa, but Lisa's on a whole different scale."

"Girl," Len agreed.

"Sister. I know plenty of perfectly nice, perfectly understandable girls."

"Yeah, and outta all of 'em, you like one: Lisa."

Leo decided not to dignify that (correct) statement with a response.

Mick, when he heard the story long after visiting hours that same night, burst out laughing.

"Don't do that," Len said crossly, rearranging his blankets and making sure his pillow was appropriately fluffed. "You'll hurt yourself."

"Stop fussing, boss," Mick said, cuffing him fondly upside the head. "My skin flexibility's back up, I can laugh all I want. And it is funny."

"It is not," Leo said. He might have been pouting.

"It really is," Mick said, shaking his head. "Don't worry, I don't mind. This Ray business, I mean."

"You – don't? You don't even know what my intentions towards him are!"

"You don't even know what your intentions towards him are," Mick pointed out. "That's what happens when you try to decide things using only half your brain."

Len smirked at Leo, who made a face back, conceding the point.

"And no, I really don't mind," Mick said. "You're a lot to handle, Leonard Snart; I always figured I'd have to share a piece of you one day. As long as he ain't awful..."

"He isn't," Leo said.

"Open to determination," Len said.

"'course, that does raise the question, don't it?" Mick continued thoughtfully.

Two sets of eyes blinked at him.

Mick settled down into his bed and reached out both hands, pulling an unresisting Leonard Snart down beside him, one on each side.

"I know this might be a new experience for you," he said, "but relationships are two-sided."

Another blink.

"He likes you, Number Two," Mick clarified. "But as you well know, that doesn't mean he'll like the boss. Lots more people like you than him, Two."

Leo frowned. It was true, of course, that he had many more acquaintances than Len – his industry supported that sort of thing more than Len's, as all of the backstabbing in the fashion world was purely metaphorical rather than very, very literal. And even before that, back in school, when people had known about them both, he had been the more popular because he had been the more charming and outgoing one...and yet...surely...

"Look at you," Mick laughed. "Each one of you with the same confused little wrinkle between your eyes. Did you guys really think that anyone you really cared about had to care about you – both of you – equally in return? Or would, just automatically?"

"Worked with you, didn't it?" Len grumbled.

“I’m not everyone.”

“It’s ‘ain’t not everyone’.”

“No, boss. It really isn’t, I swear. And anyway, atrocious grammar issues aside, you know that most people like just one person at a time, right?"

No.

Well, yes, but it didn't apply to them, surely?

"Besides," Mick continued. "I don’t see what the problem is, though: only one of you likes him, right? So what's it matter if he only likes one of you?”

“That’s not the point,” Len said.

"What a mess," Leo sighed.

"Can we even trust him enough to reveal the truth to him without him squealing?" Len asked.

"I think so," Leo said. "But I'm biased."

"I'll analyze him, then," Len said.

"Analyze," Leo said. "Not threaten."

"Fine."

"Before you get to putting the cart before the horse," Mick said dryly, "didn't the boss just scare him away?"

"Oh. Right. Crap."

Mick started laughing again.

The Leonards looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

(Leo noted approvingly how relaxed Len was with his head on Mick's shoulder, just the way it ought to be. They might not be fixed yet, but they were on their way, slowly but surely.)

Now, normally, they operated on a "he who screwed up is he who fixes it" approach, but in this instance they decided that Leo would probably have better luck sweet-talking Ray back into the job and thereby make himself available.

Leo sent flowers – Ray had once confessed that he liked them dreadfully, even if they were stereotypically girly – and an apology note, and asked Ray to meet him in his office.

Ray arrived with a smile.

"I know I said it in the note, but I really did want to apologize for what happened last time," Leo said.

"It's fine."

"It really isn't."

Ray shrugged. "No, it's – really, it's fine. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'd kind of been wondering when we'd get to see Hyde again."

Leo blinked. He hadn't been expecting that - nor did he know what to do about it. "Hyde? What do you mean?"

Ray had a way about him that when he blushed, he positively glowed. It was a Ray thing, not a model thing; by this point, Leo was familiar with enough models to say that with confidence.

He was glowing now.

"I – oh – er – you didn't know – I thought – can we forget I said that?"

"No," Leo said. "Please explain."

"It's just a joke," Ray said. "Among the models you use most. It's just, you know, you have mood shifts sometimes, you know, like, bipolar?"

"That's not how bipolar disorder works –"

"Right, I keep forgetting you did a BA in psych. You know what I mean, though, right? Sometimes you're an asshole with a heart of gold, sometimes you're a well-meaning sociopath with a friendly smile, Jekyll and Hyde."

Leo blinked. "Wait. Which one's Jekyll and which one's Hyde? They both sound – unflattering."

Ray's glow goes up by several watts.

"I mean, everyone has their own preference, honestly?" he said with a shrug. "The sociopath is Jeykll, because he's there more often - plus, you know, not really a sociopath, just charming as hell, but you can tell he's not really interested in anything you're saying or feeling, you know? - while the asshole is Hyde because we only see him once in a while. I usually prefer Jekyll, since I click really well with people who tend to be more distant and analytical about their emotions, but a lot of the models really like Hyde's whole aura-of-danger combined with a sort of secret-inaccessible-inner-friendliness thing. I don't know, it's just a bad joke. Models have a lot of those."

"Huh," Leo said.

"It doesn't mean anything," Ray said hastily. "It's not like I actually think you have an alternate personality or some sort of evil twin hidden in the closet –"

"I usually prefer the couch," Len, who had never been able to resist a good entrance line, said, poking his head up above said couch. "No one ever looks there."

Ray spun around and his jaw dropped.

His mouth moved, and sound came out, but it wasn't really coherent. His hands twitched in the air like baby birds that had just leapt out the nest and abruptly realized they never learned how to fly. He was utterly dumbfounded.

"I thought we agreed I was going to tell him," Leo said mildly. To be fair to Len, that had really been an irresistible set up.

Len smirked. "Hyde is better than Jekyll any day," he said with a shrug. "Do you know in the original movie version, it was pronounced GEE-kull instead of JEK-uhl?"

Leo, who had watched said original movie with Len, rolled his eyes at this bizarre attempt at flirting. Having found Mick at an early age, Len had never had to learn any flirting skills, real ones rather than the cons he ran on marks, nor had he ever had any interest in picking any skills in that field up – Leo was the one who interacted with people, after all, not Len, so why bother?

Len rolled his eyes back. He had no idea why Leo said his flirting was so terrible – puns and unnecessary movie trivia always seemed to work well for him, and the way Leo would sometimes cough down his hand that it was out of pity for a pretty face with an empty head was entirely uncalled for.

"There's two of you," Ray finally squeaked.

"Quick, this one," Len said.

"Shut up. You get yourself a quick one if you want one," Leo said. "I happen to prefer glowing."

"I noticed that..."

"There are two of you!"

"I think we broke him," Len said thoughtfully. "Oops. Sorry."

Leo gave Len a Look, receiving only a smirk in return.

(He'd never admit it, but he was maybe slightly regretting how he first reacted when Len brought Mick around. In his defense, he'd never thought that he'd be in the reverse situation – not that that was a defense.)

"Am I – is this a hallucination?" Ray demanded. "Did I get drunk and start seeing double or something? Are alternate universes real?!"

"I approve of that fact that that's your go-to thought about what's going on," Len said.

"No alternate universes," Leo said patiently. "Just twins."

"Identical twins," Len added. "In case you hadn't noticed."

"Very identical," Ray said faintly.

"To be fair, you and the other models managed to spot some differences, apparently, with your Jekyll and Hyde analysis," Leo said. He's still not entirely sure about what to do the 'well-meaning sociopath' part of that analysis. "Which puts you ahead of most people."

"Most police, certainly," Len drawled.

"But –" Ray said, clearly too distracted to pick up on Len's hint. "If you're twins – what's your name?"

They blinked at him.

"...Leonard Snart," Leo said. "That hasn't changed. Why would it have changed?"

"Then, what's his name?"

"Leonard Snart," Len said.

“I...what?”

"If it makes you feel better,” Len adds generously, “I go by Len while he goes by Leo. People get really insistent on using the nicknames for some reason.”

Even Lisa preferred them, though she did have a tendency to call them both Lenny that they thoroughly approved of.

"Oh," Ray said. "Is that why you got so angry when I called you Leo the other day? Because you were actually Len?"

"Long story," Leo said hastily.

"Which one of you –" Ray hesitated. "Never mind."

"I'm the one you've been interacting with," Leo said. "Not Len."

"I'm the one that pointed out that we’re married to Mick," Len said, a touch of acid in his voice. "Though, just so you know, we both consider ourselves bound by that."

"I see," Ray said faintly.

"Would you like a seat?" Leo asked, a little concerned that Ray was going to fall over. "You've had a shock."

"Yeah," Ray said, scrabbling for a chair. "Good idea."

"You can have some time to think about this –" Leo started, only for Len to interject, "But in the meantime, you can't tell anyone."

Ray nodded slowly. "Because – the police don't know?"

Leo gave Len another Look, this one triumphant. Len rolled his eyes – fine, maybe Ray wasn't as slow as previously assumed.

"That's right," Leo said.

"And – wait. All those times you've gotten stopped and questioned..."

"He wasn't lying when he said they had the wrong man," Len drawled, looking quite pleased. "Just not being entirely truthful, either."

"You're a thief?"

"A very good one."

"...oh. That's a lot to take in."

"Why don't you take a few days off to think about it?" Leo suggested. "I know this isn't exactly what you thought was going on."

"I mean, I think I always kinda thought you were a thief?" Ray said. "Some sort of James Bond-the Saint kind of deal, with the fashion stuff as a cover. I mean, that many policemen in that many countries can't all be wrong. I'm kind of happy you aren't, actually."

Leo smirked. This wasn't going as badly as he had feared.

"I think I will take those days off, though," Ray said, rubbing his face. "I – I mean, I knew you were with Rory, and I thought, you know, maybe you were polyamourous –"

"Or willing to cheat, at least," Len muttered, causing Ray to flush.

"– but I admit that I didn't consider – I didn't even think about there being two of you."

"Okay," Leo said. "Totally fine. You need processing time. Just, you know..."

"Don't mention it to anyone?"

"Right. Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I understand. I think."

Exit Ray, stage left.

"Well," Leo said. "That went – not unlike a trainwreck."

"Sure thing, Jekyll."

"Shut up, Hyde."

"What do we do if he only likes you?" Len asked, abruptly changing gears. "And not me?"

"I don't know," Leo confessed. "I mean, when I thought Mick was just yours, I figured he'd just take up some of your free time and I'd find someone to fill mine, but now we both have Mick as well...there's a sadly limited number of hours in the day."

"Well, you were doing a pretty good job of interacting with him mostly during your work and a little bit after work hours –"

"Yes, but presumably he'll want more at some point. Wouldn't you?"

"We'll see, I guess," Len said, a little doubtfully. "When Mick and I are out on a job, maybe..?"

"Ah-ha!" Leo exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Len. "You are planning on working with Mick again, despite everything."

Leo made a face. He hated it when Leo was right, but he thought to himself that perhaps he was. Len had somehow slid back into thinking of jobs as Len-and-Mick instead of just his own, all without him noticing.

The healing power of time.

Leo, for his part, was just happy that Len would stop working with that awful pair of psychotic lovers he sometimes teamed up with, Scudder and Dillon. Leo never trusted them about anything, and certainly not with Len's safety, but he trusted them even less now that Len didn't have Mick to back him up.

"Not until he's all the way better," Len said, conceding the point. And yes, damnit Leo, he'd do something about Scudder and Dillon; there was no need to look at him with that half-worried-half-smug expression. "At least not any jobs in Central. Maybe some outside as a way of warming up..."

Leo grinned.

Len, realizing, grinned back.

Neither of them could resist a good set-up.

"You know,” Leo drawled, relishing the moment. “If you’re looking for an expert in warming things up –"

Len threw one of the couch pillows at Leo, which they both agreed was the correct response.