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wheeler-things · 2 years

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Henry Creel, Vampires, the Consumption of the Soul, and Will Byers with Powers

Oh look it’s time for yet another longwinded s5 Thinking Thoughts post with an off the rails ending. I feel like I’m getting predictable.

Well, anyway, I talked about this in the tags of a post that I reblogged at one point, but it's currently 20 minutes to midnight and I should either be sleeping or working on writing for the campaign I'm DMing in the new year, but instead all I can think about is Henry Creel and Will having powers and the way that Henry talks about his victims/how they appear in his mindscape. And, you know, also the fact that I've read all the currently available The Locked Tomb books and they left me scarred, and also altered my brain chemistry in such a way that once I thought about this possibility I couldn't stop thinking about it..

So, yeah. Time for me to talk about Henry Creel, and the way he talks about his victims, and I know I put this in the Byler tag, and I promise that's not just because of the target demo. I will eventually circle around to talking about Mike and Will in the context of this post in an unnecessarily angsty way.

But for now... Henry.

In s4e7, Henry tells El: "I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend. And I realized, I didn't have to. I could make my own rules. I could restore balance to a broken world. A predator... but for good. […] With each life I took, I grew stronger. More powerful. They were becoming a part of me. But I was still a child, and I did not yet know my limits. And it nearly killed me."

This monologue is, honestly, full of a bunch of really interesting things, and I'm can think of at least three posts that I currently have on the brain that I'm going to pick it apart for, but in terms of this specific post, I've bolded the bits I'll be focused on, and I'll be back to it in a bit.

Later in that scene, El looks to the dead bodies of the other lab kids, and Henry says: "They're not gone, Eleven. They're still with me. In here."

What I think is really important about this whole scene, right off the bat, is that Henry is not immediately hostile upon realizing that El has disobeyed him and left the closet. Regardless of whether you believe he had any amount of genuine affection for her or not, I think it's really important to note that the way in which Henry bonds with El/gains her trust is through teaching her things. He teaches her how to use her emotions in order to harness her powers more effectively. He teaches her to start questioning Brenner's motives. He teaches her about Sotaria (which also ties in with the previous thing). He teaches her how to escape the lab through the sewers (which I believe it's implied is how she got out of the lab in s1, though I'm not going back to check because I'm rewatching s1 for a different analysis and I don't want to lose my place). So the fact that he's still using his gentle voice with El here, and the fact that he's stopping to explain not only his motivations, but the fact that the people he kills are "not gone" and are "in here" [gestures to his head], suggests to me that he's attempting to teach her one last thing. Something that might make her okay with the fact that he just murdered a whole lab full of literally every person she's ever known save Kali and Brenner.

And this is so easy to dismiss as the ramblings of a mad man, or as him saying something to the effect of "I never forget any of the people that I kill". But I think it's a little dismissive to ignore what Henry says as simply the words of someone entirely disconnected from reality. Obviously, he is deluded. He talks about himself as though he is not also human, and he actively seems to want to kill everyone except possibly El and Will? But having delusions about his importance and identity and ideology is not the same thing as being deluded into believing something untrue about his powers/into falsely believing that his victims are kept alive inside him somehow. Moreover, although this last line in isolation could make sense in the context that he keeps the memories of his victims alive in his own mind, the rest of what he says does not line up with that. Nor does the fact that we see Chrissy's mangled body (and possibly some of the other victims, I'm so sorry I cannot remember-- but definitely at least one of the victims is seen in the mindscape) twisted into his mindscape.

So... now I'm going to go back to the earlier part of his speech and pick apart the bolded parts.

"I could make my own rules." The last time we heard that, it was El was saying it to Mike, in a misquote of Max's "we make our own rules". When Max was saying it, she was reassuring El that respinning the bottle was fine because, as the only two playing the game, they could make their own rules about what to do. However, when El uses it, it's because Mike has realized that she spied on him without his consent, and his offended response is to that "that's against the rules" (from context, it's difficult to know if this is a reference to rules that Hopper set out for her, or rules that she and Mike established together for their relationship-- the former isn't a great look for Mike, and the latter isn't a great look for El). El bites back, saying, "I make my own rules". When she says that, she is essentially saying "I have the ability to spy on you, so if I choose to do so, that's my prerogative" (let me just say: Mike did a lot of things wrong in s3, and he absolutely started the fight between him and El, but this specific action was not great of her). This parallels with Henry saying that he made his own rules, because when he says that, he seems to mean that he had the ability to read peoples' minds (and possibly more than that), and as such, it was his prerogative to do whatever he wanted to whomever he wanted, at any time. El is not the same as Henry (by any stretch of the imagination)... I just think this parallel is interesting (and also the contrast-- ultimately, El did what she did because she was having fun with a friend, which still isn't great because spying on people when they're supposed to be in private is not a good thing to do, but it's in an entirely different league from what Henry has done with similar power).

"A predator... but for good". So... the word "predator" has a lot of meanings, and I don't want to get too deeply into the conversations about whether Henry is or is not worthy of that title in the entirely too human sense, because it's far outside the scope of this post. However, we do know from the context of his monologue that when Henry talks about predators/apex predators, he's talking about spiders. That gives us context to know that when he calls himself a predator, it's likely that he means in the same way that a spider is a predator. Why are spiders predators? Because they hunt and kill other animals for food. The "for food" part of that is really important, because it's a key, defining factor in whether an animal is acting in a predatory way. However, predators are not inherently good or inherently evil. They are, by their nature as animals, inherently neutral. So, when Henry says that he could be "a predator... but for good", we know that he is essentially saying "a predator, like a spider... but with the human capacity to use that predatory status in order to enact what I believe to be good [which, in the context of Henry, means a complete disruption of "normal" human society] in the world".

"With each life I took, I grew stronger. More powerful. They were becoming a part of me." So... this is the line. This is the line that, to me, solidifies the idea that Henry's power grows specifically through the murders that he enacts. And that the people he kills in some way become part of him after death. It's exactly what he says and, although we have reason to doubt some of the other things that he says, this would be a very weird thing for him to lie about from an in-character POV, because it was never brought up as a possibility by anyone else, and weird for him to lie about from a narrative standpoint, because the characters don’t seem to really do anything with that information in s4 (nobody even suggests that Max could be inside Henry’s mind), so if it’s not literally true… why have him say that at all? Because if it isn’t meant literally… it’s a really odd line, and there would be other ways to phrase it if the implication was supposed to be “killing people made me feel stronger/improved my skills, and I metaphorically hold those I kill with me because remembering them gives me perverse glee”. Like, is it possible that’s what he means? Maybe. But personally I think the literal read makes more sense, because the metaphorical read doesn’t make sense in context of him trying to convince El to understand his perspective. Also, just, from a narrative standpoint, if it’s literally true, that opens up avenues to allow previously killed characters to make a re-appearance and, possibly puppeted or twisted by Henry’s mind, screw with the protagonists. Via the UD, Henry killed/directed to be killed: Barb (Nancy), Bob (Joyce or Will… lord if I have to watch Will face down Bob telling him that he killed him, I don’t know what I’ll do), possibly Max (Lucas and/or El), Eddie (Dustin), and technically also Will in s1 if they want to turn the Harry Potter allusions on their head and do a reverse horcrux situation where a sliver of Will’s soul is still in Henry and that’s what’s keeping them connected in which case hhhhhhh (Jonathan, Joyce, and Will could all have interesting reactions to this, but dear god if I have to watch Mike Wheeler face down a twisted, puppeted fragment of Will’s soul and suffer all the abuse Henry can use it to throw at him, and still look at it like s2 Mike looked at Will in the shed? I don’t even know what to say I’ll simply collapse I think??), and then obv if he kills anyone else that would add to the possible haunts. Like. You’ve got a character who can dip into people’s heads and the implication that he literally keeps his victims souls in his mind in some way… you could totally do some interesting stuff with having people meet their tortured and twisted dead loved ones is all I’m saying. Anyway, that’s a tangent. I just think it’s interesting.

So... anyway, in short, we know that Henry is willing to do whatever he wants in service of his own interests, just because he can, regardless of how others feel about it. We know that he considers himself a predator in the animal way (which implies the use of whatever you kill as food or at least a source of energy in some direct way), and that he believes he can specifically harness this predatory nature for his idea of "good". And we know that the people that Henry kills are, in some way, "part of" him, and that taking their lives makes him somehow "stronger" (presumably in his powers).

And... we also know that Henry has been compared to Dracula (or, more broadly, vampires in general via arguably the most famous vampire).

So... the connections to Dracula are pretty obvious on the surface. Scary undead/less dead than originally anticipated dude who was once human but now very much is not lives far away in a spooky old house, surrounded by spooky animals that Aren't Quite Right. And then there are all of the OTHER connections-- a protagonist named Jonathan who is very far away from the woman he loves, SO many letters (I say, thinking about Max's letters and El and Mike's letters and Mike and Will's copious lack of letters, and.... hhh), and a large group going to kill Dracula, including a young woman/girl who has been "marked" by him and, though they have found a rather simple way to keep him at bay from her, if he gets his way she will be killed and will join him forever... I'm just saying. The parallels are there.

But, also, I want to think about vampire myths more generally. Because vampires have a history which dates back at least as far as Mesopotamia (in various forms/in root forms, not necessarily by the name "vampire"/in any forms that are particularly similar to modern interpretations— being clear because I think vampire history/mythology through time is legitimately interesting and many cultures have vampire-like creatures but very few of them are literally called ‘vampires’ and… ugh I’m sorry I’ll get off topic if I let myself rant about this but these myths are so cool!!), so vampires have been a lot of things over time. But at least today, they're very associated with blood in popular culture (nosebleeds), they don't show up in mirrors (traditionally this was because mirrors had silver in them but something something the UD or at least the Mind Flayer doesn't like water, Henry says he holds up a mirror to everyone else... I don't know just interesting), they're associated with bats and wolves (demobats and demodogs), sometimes they're said to be able to turn into mist (the shadow monster?), and there are potential ties to the more general anxieties about blood born or sexually transmitted diseases/to incubus/succubus mythology (a little more abstract here, but this may tie into the way that Henry often appears in dreams/visions which prey on his victims' anxieties-- not to mention, for a show set in the 80s with a gay teen at the forefront, there are copiously no allusions to the AIDS crisis, despite the fact that we see Will being violently bullied for being gay, so, you know, if you take the UD as a metaphor for that reality— a topic so wildly outside the scope of this post that I cannot say more about it even though I actually think it’s a really interesting metaphor that seems to exist in the show— then, yeah, that's another metaphorical tie to blood born/sexually transmitted disease).

But there is also a potential connection between vampires as blood drinkers and the concept of blood as some sort of physical representation of life force/soul. They're not necessarily 1:1 on a spiritual/religious level, depending on your tradition, but it's pretty common to associate blood in some way with the soul. So, when a vampire drinks the blood of their victim, they are, on at least a metaphorical level, essentially consuming the soul of their victims (which gets into some interesting stuff with the common idea that a vampire does not have a soul, or that to become a vampire, one must not only have their blood consumed by a vampire, but must also consume that vampire's blood as well). So, if Henry is allegorically a vampire, and vampires drink something that is metaphorically like soul, and Henry's a predator whose victims make him stronger... hm.

All of which is to say, I think the show is telling us, through the vampire allusions and through the implications of everything he's said, that Henry in some way consumes the souls (or minds or life forces or potential futures or whatever) of his victims (thus making him a true predator who not only kills but also eats what he kills).

This seems to be what he's trying to teach El in that final conversation before she banishes him to the Upside Down, and the fact that she could not (or would not) understand what he was saying seems to have been the thing that turned him from trying to keep her on his side to deciding to attempt to kill her (or to simply make her watch as he kills and presumably consumes Max). And we know that El doesn't learn it, because we can clearly see that killing doesn't make her stronger, so she's clearly not consuming any of the people she's killing. She can mimic Henry's methods of killing people physically (we see this in s1, and that's highlighted when the military suspects that El's doing the murders in s4 because Henry's style is so similar to her own), but she can't or won't do whatever it is that he does to consume souls.

But this poses a problem, though.

Because, El's already had her training montage. She became stronger and went off to face the big bad, and she lost. Max died and Hawkins fell. That's a failure of the "love confession saves the world" trope, as people have discussed, but it's also a failure of the training montage trope! El is at her strongest, and she still cannot defeat Henry alone.

Which brings me to Will. I'm not going to get into all of the details which suggest that Will has powers of some sort, beyond his Henry-sensing abilities. Other people have done that, and there really isn't room for it here. However, what I would wonder is, even if Will discovers his powers at some point before the potential time skip... how is he going to be strong enough to (in tandem with El) defeat Henry, when an entire lab full of trained and superpowered kids weren't able to? Because Will is still a child, himself, and at best, he won't even know about his powers for more than about three years, presumably WITHOUT the intense level of training that El received from birth?

And... here's where I'm going to bring things back to something I've said in another post which is... this late in the game, if they're going to introduce any established protagonists besides El having powers, those powers are going to have to feel like a loss when they first appear/quickly after they appear. The character who has them has to be hurt by them, so they don't feel like a cheap win for the characters. Would it be sudden for Will to develop powers? No, not really. The clues have been there from s1. But they're also subtle enough that if you're not into ST analysis or prone to regularly rewatching the show, they're easy to miss, so a fair bit of s5 would have to be devoted to showing Will realizing that he has them and growing into using them in order for any use of them against Henry to feel earned. Incidentally, these are all the same things which are equally true for the establishment/on-screen development of Byler, so I wouldn’t be shocked if there was a connection there.

And this is where I'm about to go wildly off the rails, but... what if Will has powers and gets a power boost in the absolute worst way possible? Because, depending on how Henry consumes his victims (obviously just killing them isn't it, because that does nothing for El)... I mean. Mike has all those death flags going on (even though I highly doubt he'll end the show dead). I don't know.

I'm just saying... Mike's prone to self-sacrifice, if he thinks it will help the people he loves. I'm just saying, if he were already dying, and if they already knew that Henry has the advantage because he's consuming the souls of the people he kills(/absorbing them into his mindscape in some capacity that allows him to use them to fuel his own abilities), and if they knew that Will had similar powers but with less strength because he only had his own self to draw upon... I'm just saying, would Mike Wheeler do anything else, except beg Will to make his death mean something? Would he honestly trust anyone else enough to literally give everything that he is to them?

I'm just saying, it would be an absolute gut punch of a scene, it would tie back into Mike's s1 character issues of self-sacrifice, it would give narrative weight to what seems to be the fact that Henry in some way keeps or draws power from the people that he's killed. And it would be incredibly easy to write it in such a way that there's more power in a willing sacrifice/in a soul that is willingly with you/willing to work with your own than in a plethora of souls that you have trapped in your mental "web" in order to feast on. Something something gay love saves the day (plus, El's almost certainly going to figure out a way to put Max back into her own body at some point in s5, so it's not even like there wouldn't be a way for Mike to come back to life, as long as they managed to keep his body alive-- also because, as I said in the notes of the post where I first commented on this concept, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that they're ending the show with Will as Mike's devastated living mausoleum, like, it's just not happening that way).

So, uh. Yeah, that’s the thought that keeps spinning in circles around my head, and I hate it so much. I’m aware that this is an out there idea and almost certainly won’t come to pass, and frankly, I’m glad for that.

But the fact that it’s far fetched doesn’t mean that I can unsee the mental image of Mike/Will in a HtN Gideon/Harrow style situation where Mike and Will are both in Will’s head, and Mike, whenever he’s lucid, is begging Will to just finish the job, to consume him properly so Will and El/the Party can be even a step closer to defeating Henry, and meanwhile Will’s doing everything he can to avoid dousing the last bit of Mike he has left, especially when he still hopes to put Mike back in his body. Like. I know this won’t happen, but even the thought that there’s a 0.01% chance that it could has me shaking in my boots.

#henry creel #will byers #byler #<- technically I guess #I talk about Mike and Will near the end of the post at least #my analysis #long post #I absolutely hate this idea btw #it's horrible and if it happens I will do as I've already promised and throw my laptop in a lake #I cannot take that kind of heartbreak again #nor could I handle having to watch Will go through something like that #but I had to say it anyway because it's been plaguing me #and I feel like #if I make a post about it #maybe that will successfully jinx the idea #so I never have to watch it happen on my screen #because I'm sure it won't happen #like I'm aware that this is a far fetched idea #but man #that is not stopping it from haunting me #I do think the Henry stuff is interesting and relevant tho #I just don’t know think they’d Go There with the Mike and Will stuff #I hope #because I swear if I have to watch Mike begging Will to consume his soul for power #and potentially mistaking Will’s (obvious and foregone) rejection of that idea as rejection of *Mike*?#rejection of Mike’s sacrifice and feelings and possibly even as a person if Will’s so ‘grossed out’ he won’t even used Mike as fuel?#if I have to watch that then I can’t be held accountable for my actions

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huntunderironskies · 1 year

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moooooooom @gristlegrinder is trying to get me to explain the edgy battle idol boy microgenre to unsuspecting innocent people againnnnn

Anyway. Ask meme time! I always feel bad tagging people in these because I can never tell if someone finds it annoying or if someone would do them but doesn't get tagged most of the time and therefore feels left out, so if you're reading this consider it an invitation to participate. That is an @ everyone I guess. All that said, I'm going to pick randomly from both old friends (@braintapes @elderdragonapologist @darkprincecait) and some people who I see interacting with my posts a lot but who I've never really held conversations with (@brieflyinfatuated @parasitic--saint @6-piece-chicken-mcnobody) just to kick things off. Again, if I didn't tag you but this looks like fun, you can do it! But I like giving people notifications and I also like multiples of three so that's why I only actively tagged six people by name.

I went way off the rails talking about stuff so I made it harder than it should be to find the categories. For the record the categories we are talking about are: Last Song Listened To, Currently Watching, Currently Reading, and Current Obsessions should you decide to do this meme. Without further ado....

Last Song Listened To: If we're talking "listened to because I was actively seeking out music," it was apparently No Matter What by The Cat's Whiskers according to Spotify. If we're talking incidental background music, it's whatever that one BGM is in the Grammaphone Cafe in Cassette Beasts.

Currently Watching: Kingohger. Kind of. I'm way behind at the moment, I am really sorry, Cait. If drama tracks/radioplays count I've been picking through Magatsunote and just wrapped up the first season. It's slow going because I have to translate it from Japanese which I absolutely do not speak fluently, I'm trying to finish it before Executioner starts putting out theirs in earnest. I am probably not going to make it in time.

Currently Reading: I finished An Unauthorised Fan Treatise in like. A single sitting which is rare for me, my attention span and memory retention has shrunken to nothing over the past few weeks for various reasons. A mystery novella was apparently just what the doctor ordered. What I'm actively reading now is The Backwater Sermons by Jay Hulme since poems are so much easier for me to get through when I'm having those kinds of moments.

Currently Obssessed With:

So. I'll start with the answer you're fishing for...

...but it's under a cut because I got very wordy given that I'm kind of intense about the things I like.

I don't know how to describe this other than the fact that hit music project Hypnosis Mic, in which the matriarchal government that takes over Japan after World War III legally mandates psychic damage-based bloodsports as a form of conflict resolution, absolutely printed money.

To the best of my reckoning the reason why is that a lot of the women (and a not insubstantial amount of transmascs from what I've observed, me included) who'd grown up on male idol projects like Uta no Prince-Sama and fluffy otomuke were older now and were no longer able to relate to lighthearted high school antics. But being stuck in a miserable adulthood with a world that feels like it's getting worse and worse around you and you have to struggle against the crushing pressure of a system you never asked to be born into, sometimes pitting you against people and things you love? That's relatable. Meanwhile, you still get the fun of identifying and fighting for a musical group? And there are anime boys who are in their mid-twenties to early thirties and are therefore age-appropriate for you to be thirsting after? And and the music is really good? Total goldmine.

And so a bunch of other corporations with an interest in the joseimuke market decided to make their own music projects that (mostly) take place in the dystopian near future and feature a lot of suffering and bloodshed and homoeroticism and some kind of plot they can shoehorn idol units into.

I have nicknamed this microgenre the Edgy Idol Boy Battle Anime and appointed myself the foremost expert on this esteemed field. @missmadril (...who I guess I have now tagged so she can do this tag game also now, have at it bestie) will probably back me up on having claim to it since I have no standards and will immediately watch/listen to anything that falls under that genre, also I have very little competition for that role because I'm pretty sure the EN-side fandom for Magatsunote and Executioner is literally just me.

I got onboard very early with Hypnosis Mic pre-first season and immediately knew the second that I saw Jakurai that he was going to rewrite my brain chemistry. He's a white haired (....well, grey, close enough) angel-themed character who has committed terrible crimes in the past and is wracked with guilt over it, doing everything he can to make up for his misdeeds to the point of needless self-sacrifice. What was I supposed to do, not fall madly in love with him? Now, I am still very occupied with hpmi but we're currently between plot arcs waiting for the third round of...whatever is going on after all those plot twists so in lieu of content I have been fixated on different franchises. More specifically, certain characters. I accidentally wrote essays about them. Sorry.

The shitty pictures are because, once again, the EN-side fanbase of these is me and me alone. As such there are like, zero resources out there including art assets. I tried very hard to make these screenshots of the official webpages. Please clap.

Momiji Beniyashiki

Remember how I knew sight unseen that Jakurai was going to rewrite my brain chemistry? If you forgot, just scroll up, it's like just two paragraphs above. Then you will remember.

Alright, well, here's the second character who's going to do that. Executioner only has its story/character teasers and a single out right now but so did hpmi when I first got into it and I could just instinctively feel it in my otomuke/joseimuke old guard bones. It feels like a bad arthritis day, for the record.

Now, those of you who have been in my presence for some time may be thinking "Hey, he's not Raz's type at all, since when have they been into pink haired alt fashion anime boys?" Well, you have judged me wrongly. I am somewhat less superficial than that. You see, it's all in the personality and backstory.

Momiji is an orphan who was adopted by a phantom thief who stole from the rich to give to the poor, and after finding out his dad's secret decided he was going to become a phantom thief too, owing to his own strong sense of justice. He's a pacifist with a reckless streak who sells his soul to a demon to save the world and that's why he's part of a demon-possessed visual-kei tokusatsu unit, and the other members are his adoptive brothers who are also phantom thieves. I would say this makes sense in context, but it doesn't.

I am entranced by his tboy swag and dedication to doing the right thing in defiance of conventional moral codes. For approximately one second in the latest single teaser (the full single is happening on Friday) (sorry in advance to anyone who talks to me on Friday), he was animated parkouring about the screen and I was so excited I began to vibrate quickly enough that I started clipping through the furniture like a character in a badly programmed video game. If the Asta drama track doesn't get dropped soon I will simply chew my own arm off from frustrated anticipation. I barely speak any Japanese and I've been trying to translate every single line of dialogue and lyrics he's had in my spare time just so I can keep thinking about him during this content gap. I've bookmarked a kanji dictionary because I'm functionally illiterate and I can get through maybe one sentence a day. Why must it not be Friday. I need it to be Friday.

At any rate, stan Asta because one of your alternatives is stanning for the unit that consists mostly of cops, and I think it is a moral good to join the war on crime on the side of the criminals. There's like, a bunch of medical professionals or whatever as the other alternative I guess. But come on. Heroic phantom thief siblings. There's a clear correct choice here.

Now that we have established the objectively best character in any of these edgy idol projects ever, let's move onto the next person who has infested my brain like a culture of cordyceps.

Masamune

"Oh, there's the white-haired anime boy!" you may be saying. To which I respond, "Shut up, a gentleman is allowed to indulge in certain vices."

Now, I know he did conduct a semi-judicial summary execution of a man who had resorted to crime in order to feed his family due in part to the inherently horrific socially stratified dystopia everyone lives in, and that was within the first five minutes of his appearance. So, not a great first impression. Like, the guy was threatening to shoot a hostage, but it was kind of overkill to take his head off without a second of hesitation. At least his corpse got used for like, fertilizer or Soylent Green or something, it's not totally clear other than ominous implications as to what happens to dead people in this setting. Truly a win for all the utilitarians out there!

He has a sense of justice in the worst possible way where he's completely unforgiving, uncompromising, fanatically dedicated to the group that he thinks is helping save humanity, and is incapable of seeing nuance. However, when compared to all of the unrepentant war criminals and the habitual arson-murderer and the omnicidal cult leader and the guy heavily implied to be conducting immoral medical trials on his patients, he starts looking like the least bad option. He is in the unique position of being capable of feeling remorse and he was brainwashed (as in, the cyberpunk corporation running everything rewired his neurons and memories in addition to the mundane definition of the word) so that kind of accounts for some of the "being a terrible person" thing.

He, uh, gets better about the whole fanatical devotion issue? Character growth. Like I said, least awful person in Magatsunote is a low bar to clear but he did it. Good job buddy, I am feeling an emotion roughly adjacent to pride for you.

I very, very rarely get the "I want to treat this character as my personal chew toy" response that other people seem to have. Then l I started watching Magatsunote and suddenly my list of characters I would put into a blender if given half the chance has increased tenfold. You can set a clock by the fact that whenever you think someone is redeemable, they will immediately do something that lets you down a scene after at the latest, but they're at least doing it in an interesting way. I have the most affection for Masamune in the sense I would like to gently pick him up, pat him on the head, and then fling him off a cliff instead of immediately succumbing to my own homicidal impulses. I probably don't need to though because every single person in the series is trying to kill each other, up to and including inter-unit violence and backstabbing. Why get involved when other people are going to do my work for me?

Don't take this as a knock against the series, it has some of the best writing chops out of what's otherwise a guilty pleasure genre for me, but it is very hard to recommend to people due to the absolutely bizarre premise even by the microgenre's standards (I honestly don't know how to start explaining it) and all of the characters being kind of. Like that. You need a specific mindset, part of which is an extremely high tolerance for weird anime bullshit and thinking horrible people ruining each others' lives is good wholesome fun, to genuinely enjoy it.

Wait, I'm supposed to be trying to convince people to listen to music. Uh. Stan ARK Kansakyoku, the least of many evils. Also Libra is a good song so, you know, there's that. That's the best pitch I can give his unit.

On a more normal person note, I've been having a lot of fun with Octopath Traveler 2 and I refuse to say which character has been occupying most of my brainspace because some of you will never let me live it down even though I think it is very cruel of the writers to genetically engineer a man designed to appeal to me and me alone, specifically, and I have already said way too much about my taste in men within just this post alone. Don't worry, though! I'm bi! And my taste in women is even worse. It starts with Rodya from Limbus Company and then it's all downhill from there. Listen, she was at least a tiny bit justified in that murder, don't judge me.

Actually, now that I'm thinking on it, Temenos needs to grow his hair out a few inches longer to be truly perfect for my awful tastes. So maybe this isn't a conspiracy against me. Nevertheless, further research into this concerning trend of white-haired anime boys seemingly tailored to my very specific desires is needed.

The last real obsession I have as of late is monster collecting games. I've mostly been doing a SwSh speedrun (to get Rapid Strikes Urshifu, Regileki and Spectrier) (yes, this is for competitive reasons) (at literally every turn where I had a choice I made the wrong meta one my first go around) and playing through Cassette Beasts as a more casual option. Cassette Beasts is super fun! I think it's really more of a Persona-alike than a monster catching game despite how it's been advertised but it 100% nails the late eighties/early nineties nostalgia in the best possible way. I'm so happy I got it on sale but TBH I'd say it would have still been worth it at full price with the amount of fun I've had playing it. It's also really well-designed from a mechanical standpoint IMO and I like its unique take on how type matchups should work, the fact that it uses status effects instead of just a damage multiplier gives so much more tactical weight to combat.

#thank you for the ask!#ask game

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plague-of-insomnia · 2 years

Note

hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

#poi answers #not kuro #anon

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rygoespop · 1 year

Text

Thomas and Friends: Tales from Sodor (Story 27): Engine Not on Board

Disclaimer: This Story takes place in The Sodor Cup Story Arc, anyways, enjoy!

Narrator: Engine Not on Board

Scene opens with Frieda, puffing fast to Brendam Docks

Narrator: One morning, Frieda the German Engine was puffing fast to Brendam Docks

Frieda: I must not be late, I must not be late! *she puffs fast*

Scene transitions to Brendam Docks, as nearly all the International Engines are saying Goodbye to Thomas, Percy, and Rosie*

Hiro: Goodbye Thomas, until we meet again

Thomas: Take care Hiro, have a safe trip back to Japan

Gator: Goodbye Percy, I'll miss you

Percy: Farewell Gator, have a safe trip to Columbia

Raul: Hey Percy, if you and Thomas visit South America, we should all deliver Coffee!

Percy: I like that idea Raul!

Ashima: Goodbye Rosie

Gina: We'll miss you

Rosie: Thanks girls, come back and visit us soon

Gina: Or you can visit us

Rosie: That'll work

Soon, all the International Engines all set sail on the Rail Ferry as they head to the homes of the International Engines

Gina: Is there somebody missing?

Frieda: *puffing into to the docks* Wait, wait for me!

But it was too late, the Rail Ferry was already gone

Frieda: Nein nein neeeeeeeeein!!! I've been left behind

Scene transitions to Frieda, now at Knapford Station, she was speaking to Sir Topham Hatt

Narrator: Later, Frieda spoke with Sir Topham Hatt

Frieda: I'm sorry, sir! I didn't catch my ferry, my firebox wouldn't get going

Sir Topham Hatt: Oh Frieda, I'm sure your Controller would understand, in the meantime, you can help us out while I can try and find another ferry

Frieda: Very well sir *she blew her whistle and puffs to Tidmouth Yards*

Scene transitions to Frieda, puffing into Tidmouth Yards, she blew her whistle as she puffs by Donald and Douglas, shunting Freight Cars

Donald: Hello!

Douglas: Greetings!

Frieda: Guten Tag!

Narrator: As soon as Frieda arrived at Tidmouth Yards, she saw someone familiar

Frieda: Hey, aren't you Gordon?

Gordon: Yes, yes I am! Aren't you the same engine who competed in The Sodor Cup?

Frieda: Y-yes! My name is Frieda, Frieda of Germany!

Gordon: Germany? Aren't you suppose to catch that Rail Ferry?

Frieda: I was, but it left without me, so your Sir Topham Hatt asks me to help out while he finds a schedule for another Ferry

Gordon: Very well, now if you'll excuse me, the Express can't be late *he blew his whistle and puffs off to Knapford*

Frieda: W-wait for me! *she blew her whistle and followed*

Scene transitioned to Gordon, who is now at Knapford Station, waiting for his coaches

Narrator: Later, Gordon was at Knapford waiting for his Coaches, until Frieda arrived

Frieda: Oh, guten tag Gordon!

Gordon: Frieda?! What are you doing?!

Frieda: Oh, I thought I help you with the Express run!

Sir Topham Hatt: Well Frieda, I called the Dockyard Manager, and there are no avaliable ferries, I'm sorry

Frieda: Oh, bother!

Just then, Fergus shunted Gordon's green express coaches to him

Fergus: Here you go Gordon!

Frieda: Oh, guten tag little tractor engine!

Fergus: Oh, hello! I'm Fergus, I'm a Railway Traction Engine!

Just then, Frieda felt a bump, she was given 4 Red Branchline Coaches, all of them shunted by Diesel

Diesel: Here you go, you silly steamie! Ha ha ha ha!

Frieda: Ugh! You have no respect!

Gordon: Frieda, just ignore him, that's Diesel, but we mostly refer him as Devious Diesel

Diesel: Heh heh heh! I'm gonna enjoy this!

Frieda: Hmph! *she blew her whistle and puffs out of the station, without her Passengers*

Station Master: Stop! *blew his whistle*

Frieda: *stops* Oops! Sorry! *she reverses back to the station*

The Passengers got in Frieda's coaches and Gordon's Coaches

The guard blew his whistle

Gordon: Watch and learn Frieda *blew his whistle and puffs out of the station* Express coming through!

Frieda: Branchline Coaches, coming through! *she blew her whistle and puffs out of the station*

Scene transitions to Gordon thundering down the line

Narrator: Later, Gordon was having a time thundering down the line to Vicarstown Station, until

Frieda: *blew her whistle as she puffs up to Gordon* Guten tag Gordon!

Gordon: Oh hello Frieda!

Frieda: Look, I'm finally getting along with pulling coaches! Branchline Coaches, coming through!

Gordon: Hey, that sounds similar to my line! *chuckled*

Gordon and Frieda both arrive at Vicarstown Station, they blew their whistles to greet Samson and Frankie, both pulling Freight Cars and Flatbeds of Steel respectively as Samson blew his Whistle and Frankie honked her horn

Frieda: That was, impressive!

Gordon: I'm glad you are enjoying this Frieda

Flying Scotsman: *puffing into Vicarstown Station as he blew his whistle* Hello Little brother!

Gordon: Hello, brother

Flying Scotsman: *surprised* Frieda?! What are you doing here?! I thought you went back to Germany after The Sodor Cup!

Frieda: Well Flying Scotsman, I was suppose to catch the ferry, but my firebox didn't start

Flying Scotsman: I see, well thank you for the passengers! *he blew his whistle and puff away*

Sir Topham Hatt: *arrived* Well Frieda, I'm impressed! Not only you showed respect to my Engines, you helped one of them!

Frieda: Thank you sir, and you know, maybe it might be ok for me to help out on your Railway, if my Controller back in Germany can agree

Sir Topham Hatt: Of course, I'll get on the phone with him!

*scene transitions to Knapford Station, as evening came*

Narrator: Later that evening, Sir Topham Hatt contacted The German Controller, in which The German Controller agreed to Frieda's idea about helping out on Sodor

Sir Topham Hatt: Well Frieda, I spoke to your Controller, and he agrees! You can help us out, until we find an avaliable ferry!

Frieda: Ah, thank you sir!

Thomas: Hooray for our new friend, Frieda of Germany!

The 9 Members of the Steam Team blew their whistles and Toby rang his bell, Frieda blew her whistle

Frieda: Thank you, Thomas!

Scene transitions to Tidmouth Sheds at night, Percy was out to deliver the mail, as Frieda slept in Percy's berth

Narrator: That night, the engines were excited to let their new friend Frieda, join them at Tidmouth

Steam Clouds rolled in

Story End

#thomas and friends

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sirenascales · 3 years

Text

-> double black [part two] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A failed friend date turns into a day of fun and laughs with a rather odd coworker. [Dazai x 1stPOV!F!Reader]

3,274 words

Warning: suicide ideation (like, it's Dazai, c'mon now.)

note: I'm glad some of ya'll seemed to enjoy chuuya's chapter! I decided to just upload Dazai's and then we can move on to the story. Please enjoy! Tags in the replies.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"Keiko-- Keiko, it's two PM!" I said into the phone, sending an apologetic look to my coworkers. "And I'm at work. You can't be calling me, especially when you're drunk so early in the day."

"Uggghhhh, you're so mean!" I sighed softly at Keiko's response, the office phone on my desk beginning to ring.

"Keiko, I have to go now, I'm sorry! Call Taichi and tell him to bring you home."

"Wait-"

I ended the call, rubbing my eyebrows as I picked up the other phone. "Armed Detective Agency, how may I help you?"

It's been around three months since I've started working at the Agency, and I have to say, it was a pretty great job. It paid well, kept me on my toes with the many different cases we took on, and my coworkers were great... despite how weird they were.

"That's like the seventh time your friend called you this week," Ranpo spoke up from his desk, the man literally surrounded by snack wrappers.

I sighed deeply, rubbing my eyebrows. "I know, I'm sorry everyone. She's not usually like this... I know she likes to drink, but... never to this extent."

"Maybe there is something going on?" the cute Atsushi suggested and I frowned. "Maybe you can try to find out?"

"It wouldn’t be wise to just push yourself into someone's private life like that," Kunikida added and I nodded in agreement.

Of course I couldn't. Not with who her boyfriend was. I was her best friend, but even I knew not to step in. "Besides, she always says she's okay when I ask..." I said thoughtfully, too distracted to continue my work. I could believe her, right? Besides, she had Taichi. He loved her, and always made sure that she was protected and taken care of. He always made sure to be around her when he wasn't away, keeping her to his side at all times. I thought maybe he was being a bit too protective, but I also understood because of his... profession.

"Alright, alright, we have a schedule, people. Let's not get too distracted here," Kunikida exclaimed and I laughed softly. The only one with a schedule was the super punctual man himself, but I still went on to do my work.

"Speaking of work..." I started, unimpressed as I Iooked to the empty desk across the office. "Where the hell is Dazai?"

Atsushi just hung his head and sighed, Kunikida gritting his teeth at his desk. "I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up," Atsushi sighed again and I huffed, standing up from my desk. "I'll take my 30 now. I'll be in the cafe and I'll try to get Dazai to bring his scrawny ass to work."

The Agency was on the fourth floor of the building while the cafe was down on the first, very convenient for me. I was lazy and the coffee and food was good. I dialed up Dazai's number as I descended the four flights of stairs, pressing my phone to my ear.

At the top of one flight, I stopped when I heard a familiar ring tone blare out, and when I looked down to the bottom of the stairs, I saw the man of the hour. His brown hair was wavy as ever, his signature tanned jacket looking immaculate. I watched as he just looked at his phone, watching it ring before he put his phone in his pocket.

I hated him. "So you were just gonna ignore me?!" I shouted down the stairs. Dazai whipped his head up, eyes going comically wide.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, practically running up the stairs right towards me. I gasped and back away quickly, back hitting the wall as Dazai caged me between his bandaged arms. His forehead pressed against mine and I will my face not to burn as he looked at me with those pretty brown eyes of his. "I missed you."

My heart skipped a beat, my mouth going dry. Still, I glared up at the man. "We just saw each other yesterday," I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore the feeling of his soft breath against my face. I was thankful my voice didn't crack. "And you have plenty of paperwork to do still on your desk."

"Ehhh, I'm tired and I'm busy," Dazai nonchalantly waved that off, now standing away from me and waving his hand dismissively. "Got better things to do."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah? Like what?"

With that, Dazai took my hands in his, a hopeful look on his face. Here we go again. "Double suicide."

"No." I immediately declined him. "My answer is still the same as it was last week."

Dazai visibly deflated, covering his eyes dramatically. "Sweet death... she evades me yet again..."

"Yeah," I deadpanned, brushing past Dazai and heading down the stairs. "Anyway. I'm heading to the cafe to get something to eat."

"Oh!" Dazai exclaimed, hooking my arm with his as he quickly came up to my side. "I'll go with you!"

"You have work to do!" I yelled at him, trying to push him back up the stairs. "Go before Kunikida has an aneurysm."

"But I don't wanna!" Dazai whined, quickly turning the tables on me. Now he was behind me, his arms wrapped around me and pinning my arms to my chest. I felt his breath against my left ear and I shivered deeply. "I wanna spend time with you..." he whispered softly, his voice dropping. I bit my bottom lip, looking over at him over my shoulder. I shivered again, the usual brightness in his eyes gone. I've only seen that look on his face a handful of times, and it never failed to make me feel completely on edge. Like I was in danger.

I liked it.

"Ugh," I sneered, rolling my eyes and shaking myself out of his arms. "Fine, fine. I'll treat today, okay?"

"Yay!" Dazai's jovial nature returned as he followed me to the cafe. I shake my head at the strange duality of the man. We sat across from each other, the redheaded waitress named Lucy that obviously had a crush on Atsushi giving us some menus.

As I looked over the menu, I looked over at Dazai, the man humming as he mulled over his choices. I bit the inside of my cheek, just feeling that maybe there was more to Dazai than he let on.

The weekend soon arrived and I was in a bit of a sour mood. I was at the boardwalk, sitting on an empty bench after getting off the phone with Keiko. We were supposed to spend the day together, but she had called me thirty-minutes late, all of a sudden saying that she couldn't make it.

Her tone of voice worried me, she sounded rushed and breathless, totally unlike her. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for flaking out so suddenly," she said before she ended the call. I blinked at the screen, a bit put off by the entire thing. Just what was up with her?

Though I couldn't dwell on it, for there was a presence behind me. "Well, well, look what we have here," a teasing voice whispered into my ear before blowing into it. I shrieked, jumping off the bench before spinning around.

"Dazai!" I hissed at the laughing man standing on the other side of the bench. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Bet it got your heart pumping, huh," Dazai hummed happily, skipping around the bench and right over to me. "Bella, I missed you~" he hugged me tightly in his arms. I sighed deeply, half-heartedly wrapping my arms around him in return and giving him a pat on the back.

"We saw each other yesterday."

"Eighteen hours is too long, bella."

I rolled my eyes, pulling away from the huge and giving Dazai a look. "You're so dramatic, dude," I say with a laugh, shaking my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Hmm, well I thought this would be a great place to think about how to commit suicide," Dazai began and I gave him another look. "But, I saw my bella looking so sad and lonely! I just had to rush to comfort her!"

Dazai hugged me again, squeezing me tight. I let out a struggling breath, writhing a bit in his hold. "You're killing me!"

"Oh! Let's commit do-"

"No, oh my God!"

I turned and stormed away from the suicidal man, shaking my head when I heard him call out for me. "Bella, wait!" He latched onto my arm, pressing his cheek against mine. "Tell me what's wrong. I am your trusted friend and coworker~"

"More like trusted pain in my ass," I mumbled before sighing, walking over to the boardwalk railing and staring out into the ocean. "It's Keiko. She was supposed to be with me today, but she just called and canceled..." I frowned deeply, eyebrows pinched in worry.

"What else did she say?" Dazai asked quietly, having gone serious once he saw the look in my face. "How did she seem?"

"Off..." I answered immediately before I looked over at my companion. "Or am I just imagining things? Yeah, I'm disappointed she flaked out but...." I hung my head. "I don't know..."

"Well, it could be nothing," Dazai suggested. "Or it could be something. There's no way for you to know."

I made a face at his vague ass answer before sighing again. "I can only trust her. She was the first friend I made when I moved to Japan, and I was excited to see her today. I've been having a rough time lately."

"Is something bothering you?" Dazai asked, and I shivered feeling his gaze on me.

"Eh... just depressed," I answered offhandedly. "Lonely. Normal sad girl shit, ya know."

That made Dazai snicker under his breath. "Yeah, I know. But luckily for you," Dazai started, arm draping around my shoulders and pulling me to him. "I'm here to save the day!"

I couldn't help it, I laughed before I wrapped my arm around his middle, letting him hold me against him. "You'll hang out with me today?"

Dazai grinned. "It would be my pleasure."

Time flew by so quickly, that I was surprised to look at my phone and see that it was damn near seven in the evening. Gaping, I looked up, seeing that the sky was slowly turning dark. "Holy crap, Dazai. Did we really spend the whole day out here?" I asked in shock, looking over at him. "What the hell did we do?!"

"What didn't we do," Dazai whined, slumping against me. "I'm tired... and you still wanna ride the stupid ferris wheel!"

"It's not stupid," I said with a pout. "Besides... we're already in line."

"Meh," Dazai grumbled, still keeping his body pressed against me as we waited in line. He was behind me, his chin pressed on my shoulder. I tried not to shiver as I felt his breath along my neck.

Soon enough, we were in our carriage and slowly riding up to the top. I took a few pictures as we did so, Dazai looking over in amazement.

"You think the drop from up here would kill me?"

"Yeah, and would scar everyone here."

"Oh yeah... can't have that."

I rolled my eyes, glancing over at him and pausing for a bit. Dazai was still looking out over Yokohama, an expression I've never seen before on his face. He almost looked... sad. Very handsome, his side profile absolutely perfect. But he still looked sad. I took a quick picture, smiling as I looked over it on my phone.

The carriage stopped and I couldn't help but grin as we just swayed softly up in the air. "Thanks for spending the day with me, Dazai. It would have sucked if I had spent it alone."

"Ahh, don't sweat it, bella. I couldn't possibly leave you out here alone," Dazai answered dramatically and I laughed and rolled my eyes.

I felt a vibration in my pocket and I grabbed my phone, smiling at the cute selfie that Keiko sent to me.

'I'm so sorry for bailing! I'll make it up to you, I promise! ❤ mwuah'

"Is that Keiko?" Dazai asked and I nodded, sending her a quick reply.

"Yeah. She seems to be doing okay," I said, feeling a bit relieved.

"That's great!" Dazai exclaimed, getting up from his spot and carefully making his way to sit beside me, much to my horror.

"Dazai! We're not supposed to move around!"

"We're fine!" he waved me off dismissively. "Now you can stop worrying about Keiko and focus on what's important. Me."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You?"

Dazai hummed. "Yes, me. And how I'm taking you home tonight."

My jaw drops, face heating up at his words. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Dazai answered, his voice dropping a bit as his gaze and entire mood changed. His gaze was darker now, his lips curled up in an almost dangerous smirk. "I think it's time we stop tiptoeing around each other and just take what we really want."

My mouth went dry and I quickly became flustered, turning my head away. Immediately, a hand is grabbing my face, Dazai digging his fingers into my cheeks as he forces me to look back at him.

"Nuh uh, you look at me when I'm speaking."

His authoritative tone makes me freeze, heart pounding in my chest as I stared at Dazai, completely bewildered. I knew there was something more about him than he had let on, and whatever it was, had me in fight or flight mode.

"Now, when we're done here, we're gonna leave and head back to my place, okay?" he asked me, but his tone made it seem like it wasn't a request, and it sure as hell didn't match the seemingly innocent smile on his face; not when it didn't reach his eyes.

I nodded, Dazai removing his hand from my face. His smile sent shivers down my spine.

"Good."

"Mmn... fuck, Dazai..." I moaned and gasped softly, the man on top of me littering my neck with angry red and purple marks, two of his fingers working inside my pussy. I was completely naked on his bed, Dazai only in his underwear-- and his bandages still wrapped around his arms and chest.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" Dazai whispered against my neck, curling his fingers and smirking when I cried out. "Call me Osamu. Don't make me tell you again."

I frantically nodded my head, crying out again as he sped up the pace of his fingers, his mouth moving down to my chest. "F-fuck, Osamu!"

"That's it," he whispered, taking one of my hardened nipples into his mouth. My fingers curled into his soft brown hair, head tilting back and eyes screwing shut as Dazai continued to pleasure my body.

It wasn't long until he pushed his hard cock into my wet pussy, the both of us groaning at the feeling of us finally connecting. I was on my knees and elbows, pillow placed under my hips. Dazai started out slowly, biting his lip as he watched his dick disappear inside of me.

"Fuck... I'm gonna burn this sight into my memory," Dazai groaned, making me whine as I shook my head.

"D-don't stare like that..."

Dazai chuckled softly, his hands grabbing my hips as he started to move faster, thrusting harder. I moaned and whined, it seemed to be the only thing I could do while Dazai fucked the shit outta me. "Osamu... please..."

My whining made the man above me grin widely, his thrusts becoming rougher, almost wild as he suddenly reached out and grabbed a handful off my hair. I yelped when he yanked me up, my back now pressed against his chest and his other hand wrapped around my throat.

"What is it, bella?" he hissed into my ear, pounding away at my pussy and making me cry out again. God, it was too much all at once. "What does my pretty little subordinate want?"

I whined. "I want to cum... please Osamu..."

He cackled, pushing me back on the bed, grabbing my hips so hard, I knew I was gonna bruise. "Cum then," he hissed down at me, pushing my face into the mattress. He fucked me relentlessly, fingers finding my clit and rubbing harsh circles. That made my vision go white, my scream muffled as I came hard, body going rigid as pleasure overtook my body.

"Shit, you're squeezing me so tight," Dazai grunted. He pulled out, ignoring my whines as he stepped off the bed. "Get on your back."

I barely rolled over halfway until there was a strong grip on my ankle, my body being pulled down the length of the bed. Dazai stood at the end, wasting no time in pushing my legs back by the back of my knees, and plunging his cock back into me.

I looked up at him through teary eyes, and I knew I should have been afraid of the mad look that was in his eyes, the way his lips were curled up in a snarl. But it just made my pussy clench around him in arousal, eyes rolling to the back of my head.

I came a second time as he did his first, and much to my ultimate pleasure, we weren't finished there. We pleasured each other through the night, until we wore each other out and fell asleep entangled in the sheets.

I woke up the next morning, groaning in pain as I felt my body ache. I forced myself to sit up, looking around blearily and humming softly when I found Dazai sitting on the edge of the bed, his bare back to me.

"Good morning," he sang to me and I giggled softly, carefully moving to kneel behind him. The blankets fell from around me and I pressed my bare chest against his back. "Hm, that's nice."

"Morning," I said softly, peeking over his shoulder. "What are you do-"

I stop, staring as Dazai wrapped seemingly clean bandages on his heavily scarred left arm. I swallowed thickly, my mind running at what could have possibly been the cause of those scars.

But deep down, I knew that the cause was Dazai himself.

"Do... Do you have enough?" I asked softly, not knowing what else to even say. I didn't want to pry or seem insensitive, just having to get over this metaphorical punch in the gut myself.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Dazai answered, turning to face me with a cheery smile on his face. In a matter of seconds, I was flat on my back, Dazai on top of me with his lips pressed against mine. It was easy for him to make me forget about what I saw, his kisses stealing my breath away.

"I have to go," he said softly, pushing himself off me after a moment.

I nodded solemnly, watching him continue to get dressed. "Alright. See you at work tomorrow?"

He smirked at me. "You know the answer to that."

I rolled my eyes again, just as my phone started to ring. I grabbed it, sending Dazai a quick smile before answering the call.

"Hey Keiko, guess who got fucking laid." That made Dazai snort while I grinned, though my grin fell as I didn't hear Keiko go off like I thought she would. "Keiko?" I shared a look with Dazai.

"Hey... I need you. Can I come over?"

#bsd x reader #dazai x reader #dazai smut #chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #yeehaw #chuuya smut #yeah lmao goodnight

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pedropascalssimp · 4 years

Text

The beauty in everything.

Boba fett x reader

Request: A thought about a one shot where Boba would show his face for the first time to his mate. Like, he has been with her for a long while but he was terrified to loose her because of his appearance (because he's older than her and because of what the Saarlac did to him) (We're post-Mandalorian)

Warnings: mild language. Slight angst. Fluff.

Tags: @anilynworlds

The sun's setting was always something you admired about tatooine, the way the blue sky would turn orange and pink, the beautiful twin sun's touching the horizon while coloring the sky in beautiful hues. It was calming to watch, something most people overlooked about the horrid planet was its beauty. They saw tatooine as a place full of sand and thugs and creatures who either scurried away or tried to kill you. People saw tatooine for its rough exterior, how it could sometimes be unfair or cruel. But You saw tatooine for what it really was, another planet with a beautiful nature. Sure it was hot and did attract horrid people, but it's sunsets was always the most beautiful of any other planet, the night sky as well.

It was always so clear, showing off the stars and planet's above more vibrantly and more brighter then most systems. But like said before, most people over looked this about the planet making them think it was horrid and just another unbearable planet. But you liked it, so much that you even found a home here with the love of your life, boba fett.

Perhaps your love for watching the sun's set is how boba knew how to find you, that and he's known for being the best bounty hunter. You've known boba for years, he drifted into your town on your home planet one afternoon looking for a bounty, his beskar turning heads and keeping people at bay. No doubt out of fear, for the green beskar harbored many weapons and the man wearing it was more then skilled when it came to fighting. But as everyone saw a dangerous mandalorian who could kill a man with a glare, you saw beauty in the way he held himself with grace. And whenever you heard him speak? You was drawn to the modulated accent. It was deep and addictive, once you heard it you never wanted words to stop rolling off his tongue, whether it be threats to someone who got on his nerves or simple small talk. Anyway you was happy to hear him speak. And luckily for you he found you to be the most gorgeous woman in the galaxy.

Needless to say after attending the once stranger's injury during a brawl and late night talks in your former home, you and the mandalorian in green armor formed a bond, one that brought you two closer, love blooming between you two.

"of course I find you out here admiring this place" a slight teasing tone was heard to the voice you've grown to never get enough of. Turning your gaze from the setting twin sun's you look over your shoulder from where you stood on the stone balcony to look at boba. His armor on.

"I didn't expect you to be back this early? I thought you and Fennec wouldn't be back until midnight?" you say as he walks over to lean on the railing as you do, his warm gloved hand resting on the small of your back. His touch sending a warmth through your body making you feel content.

Smiling up at him, looking into the t-shaped visor always void. "we managed to make business short, I wanted to spend more time with you I suppose" boba watches with a fond grin as a smile blooms on your face at his words. Although the man wasn't good with showing much affection, he always tried for you. Because you deserved the galaxy, your heart made of gold making even the bounty hunter feel soft around you. You was such a loving creature and it was only right you got love back.

"you suppose? We both know you've missed me" you poke at his tummy, not surprised when he doesn't even move a muscle. "I missed you" you add softly and decided to watch the last of the sun's set. The dark blue mixing in with the remaining orange, you smile softly at the sight.

Boba admires you, heart feeling funny in a unfamiliar way. Boba knew it was something to do with the way you made him feel, loved. But it became a unfamiliar feeling after the only person he loved was killed. But you managed to make this dark hole in boba fett brighter each day with your smiles, giggles and jokes he never really found amusing but still laughed.

"I missed you too princess" he said, his face falling a bit behind the helmet.

You was so beautiful, the way your y/c/e's sparkle when admiring something - even him. Yet... You was also so... Young. Boba was a hardened man who killed more people then he could count. Some for credits others in cold blood, he has definitely seen some things in his days, yet... Here you was. A beautiful sight for sore eye's, an angel among the sands of tatooine standing by his said and sleeping in his arms at night. Boba didn't deserve you, someone so beautiful and still so young. Boba was known for being many things, but insecure wasn't one of them. Not until he met you. Boba thought that he wasn't good enough, his scarred face enough to scare a grown man, which is why boba never let you see his face. And he was older, something he lacked to tell you. He always thought that a young beautiful soul like yourself didn't deserve to be with a old rugged man like himself.

But he didn't know that you knew that he was older, you could tell. The man told so many stories about his past that you could easily pick up he was older, his beskar scarred yet freshly painted and you knew it must have seen long years among its journey. But you didn't care about his age, you loved him for who he was, a tough grumpy affectionate man. A tender lover with a gentle touch. Boba was everything you could ever want, he was the only soul in the galaxy that could ever own your heart.

"are you okay?" you ask, his silence and stiff muscles enough to make you concerned. Your eyes landing on him, his visor already trained on you. "boba?..." you softly say and press a palm against his helmet, where you'd think his cheek would be.

"how come you've never asked to see my face?" he asks abruptly, almost sounding angry. You stare at him with wide eye's at his sudden question. A little furrow in your brows as you give him a little smile.

"because I see how hesitant you are about letting me see you... I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do" you say and watch how he leans into your touch. "besides, I don't have to see you're face boba to love you... I already know that under all this beskar is a beautiful man" you muttered with a calm expression, voice truthful.

And with how you looked at him with those eyes, boba knew that your words was nothing but true. You gazed at him as if he was something as beautiful as the stars above, it sent his heart into a content flutter of love. Something he'd never admit to anyone but you.

"I'm afraid that if you see what hides under it you'd think otherwise..." he spoke with emotion, fear, vulnerability. Something you've never heard laced in his voice, and you then grab his helmet in both hands and give him the most loving look you could muster.

"boba my love... I could never think otherwise, you're so beautiful to me. Everything about you has me drawn to you... You're voice, you're rare humor and snarky comments" you laugh a little and it tugs at the man's heart, "I love how even though you're known for being the galaxies most feared bounty hunter you're such a tender lover, how deeply you care about those you love....You're beautiful to me no matter what" you felt tears fill your eyes at the realization that boba hid himself from you because he feared you'd leave him if you didn't like his physical appearance.

"even if I'm scarred?" his voice came out quiet and barely audible, but you heard and offer him a genuine smile. Nodding at him while his hands grasp your wrists resting on his helmet.

"I'll love you no matter what" you tell him.

"even if I'm older -

"even if you was 90 years old and looked like a fury bantha!" you laugh at the thought and his chuckle makes you feel triumphant.

"you can take it off... But I'm not beautiful" he whispers, letting go of your hands that rest against his helmet. Heart skipping a beat at his offer you only gape at him, this makes him sigh, "please princess... I want you to see The man you love... The one you claim to be beautiful" he nearly spat the last part out.

Smile gone at how he degrades himself you gently lift the helmet, moon out as the sun's descended the sky. You slowly lift the beskar, heart beating in anticipation. once it's lifted you feel your heart flutter, eye's adoringly admiring his face. Landing on his dark brown eyes before roaming his scar's, his adorable nose and slightly chapped yet gorgeous lips. You dropped the helmet and let it hit the stone floor of the balcony as you rest both palms on his soft cheeks. His eye's locked on yours with slight shock.

Boba saw that sparkle, the sparkle you get in your eyes when you admire the twin sunset. The sun's beauty always captivating you, and that look was in your eyes as you looked at him.

"boba...You're eye's are so pretty. You're beautiful, more then I could ever imagine - you're so handsome" you gush over the man before you, his dark brown eye's locked on yours.

"you're eye's most not be working properly girl, you find beauty in everything you look at" boba tried brushing your compliments off, stubborn as always and not wanting to except your truthful words.

"they work just fine all have you know -

His lips on yours cut your words short, your lips moving together in a slow languid dance. Unhurried and peaceful, as if time stood still. You wrap one arm around his neck as your other still cups his cheek, his arms wrapped around your waist. Minutes felt like hours as he pulled away, a small smile on his lips. Yours wide.

"I love you y/n..." he muttered with his accent coming out unhidden. It sends your heart into a fluttering mess, not only because his natural voice, but because that was the first time he uttered those words.

You felt tears of joy sting your eyes. "I love you too boba... My beautiful bounty hunter" you say with a fond smile. He chuckles and placed his forehead against yours, swaying you both in the moons light.

As you and boba stood in each other's arms, staring at one another with pure love. It was then boba realized that he truly did love you...

___________________________________________

#pedro pascal #din djarin #the mandalorian #star wars #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #baby yoda #mando x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin imagine #din djaren #boba fett imagine #boba fett x reader #boba fett #boba fett x y/n

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kyber-crystal · 4 years

Text

An Accidental Confession

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~3.1k

Summary: In which you decided to a record a message explaining your feelings for Steve in case you didn't make it out of your mission alive. You don’t have any intention of it actually being heard by him, but you have no other choice to face your fear when it’s accidentally broadcasted across the entire compound.

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff haha with hints of a cocky steve hehe.

A/N: Some dialogue credits go to Descendants of the Sun! (yes, this is a oneshot of a scene from it, bc I love that drama with my whole heart)

Tags: Dedicating this to @sylvie-writes because she’s an absolute SWEETHEART. I LOVE YOU BB. go follow her!

"Hey, Y/N, check this out!"

You glanced up from where you were furiously typing away at the computer to see Peter with a wide grin on his face. "Hm?"

"Look what I found! Mr. Stark's old speaker set!" The teenager went around to behind the table and rolled out the speaker in front of you. "It was a bit souped up, but all it really needed was some TLC and here it is, good as new!"

"Found this old thing while he was cleaning up," Tony explained, "you wanna hook your phone up and give it a go?"

"Uh...sure, why not," you shrugged, standing up and pushing your seat in, making your way over to the two of them. You took your phone out of your pocket and plugged it in.

"Check, one, two," Peter spoke into the small microphone. "Check one, two, three. Hey! It's working!"

You couldn't help but grin at his enthusiasm. "How old is this thing, anyway?"

"Older than me, that's for sure. Now play something!"

"Alright, alright. Let's see..." you scrolled through your playlists until you found the one you wanted, pressing 'play' and putting it on shuffle. "There."

"Fly Me To The Moon! May played it for me all the time when I was little," Peter exclaimed. "She always insisted I educate myself on older music. Now I'm glad she did."

Bucky and Sam stopped screaming at each other as they battled it out in Mario Kart, quieting down and humming to the beat as they held their controllers tightly. Wanda smiled to herself as she stirred the pot of soup on the stove, Bruce on the verge of falling asleep as he sipped his coffee at the kitchen island and read a news article on his phone. The energy within the compound seemed to lighten significantly as Frank Sinatra's soothing voice echoed off the walls.

You went out to the patio to relax, crossing your arms and closing your eyes as the sounds of chirping crickets and music mixed together in one soothing melody, the moonlight reflecting over the water. For a brief moment in time, you were at peace - and you relished in the temporary feeling of serenity. The 'city that never slept' was sleepy, for once. It wasn't all that late, but you were already beginning to succumb to fatigue's temptations.

But then, the song came to an end and switched off to something else.

"Hey, Steve. I hope this message never finds you because if it does...it means I'm most likely dead-" your all-too familiar voice came over the phone, thick with tears as you struggled to contain your sobs. "God, what am I even doing here? I have a gunshot wound that most likely pierced a vital organ so I'm just gonna bleed out here alone- why am I even doing this? I don't even know how much longer it'll be before you arrive with the evac team...so I just want to apologize in advance for not coming back to you like I promised. If I'd known I'd die in a foreign country, I would've lived a more carefree life instead of constantly worrying, like you always told me to just relax sometimes, I'm so, so sorry-"

Your eyes widened in realization and you rushed across the facility as fast as you could possibly go to the labs.

"Leaving words like this before dying is so uncultured- please, Steve...are you on your way? Please tell me you're on your way. If I'm really dying here I don't wanna die alone. Please hurry...I don't think I can last until you get here. Even so, you'll be the first to find me if I die, that is, if my corpse isn't dragged away or some shit like that - God, this hurts- I almost forgot how much it hurt to get shot...damn...I really underestimated the power of a bullet, huh?

Steve's bandaged fists fell to his sides, the punching bag swinging back and forth so wildly that it would've knocked him over if it weren't for his muscular figure. His brow furrowed in concern and he felt a small ache his chest upon hearing your voice crack - you never cried, and even if you did, which was extremely rare, you were good at hiding it from others.

But then a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips - you did ramble sometimes, and he found it rather adorable. It was, in fact, one of the main reasons why he admired you so much.

"FRIDAY? Where's the source of this audio?"

"It's playing from Mr. Stark's speaker in the lab, Captain," the AI responded.

"Thank you."

He unwrapped the tape from around his hands and exited the training facility, going into a light jog as he headed up to the lounge.

"If I knew that I'd die like this, then I would've told you my true feelings. That I'm in love with you and I really wished you'd kissed me when we were watching that movie together- it was Die Hard, wasn't it? I really wished you'd done something. We were sitting so close, and...I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was tempted to just run my hands through your hair and kiss you. And I almost did. I'm so in love with you, hopelessly in love with you...and if there's anything that scares me more than dying alone, it's probably thinking of a way to tell you, and the fear of being rejected by my best friend, my partner in crime-"

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. You were in love with him? He felt his heartbeat pick up speed at the thought. He always held that small bit of hope in his heart that you'd feel the same way.

Just as Steve arrived at the labs, you came bursting through the doors with a look of sheer panic in your eyes, your face drained of all color. You quickly unplugged your phone from the speaker as he watched on in amusement.

"Want some, Mr. Stark?" Peter offered through a mouthful of popcorn, holding the bag out to his mentor. "Seems like we're in for a treat here."

"Where'd you get these, kid?" Tony questioned as he reached over and popped several kernels into his mouth. "Mm. Caramel, a classic."

"I always keep some with me. Never know when drama will break out."

Steve laughed and shook his head as you quickly turned around on your heel and sprinted out of the room. It was so unlike you to act like this - normally you were rather guarded and stoic. To see you as anything but was not only amusing, but adorable in his eyes - it was one of the many things he loved about you, in fact.

"Music...really changes a lot of things," Peter cleared his throat awkwardly.

The super-soldier cracked a smile. "I seem to be in the center of that change."

He said a few quick goodbyes went to find you, as Peter and Tony continued enjoying their popcorn together.

"Oh my god, I'm so stupid, oh my god, why did I even record that damn message," you muttered, finding yourself going back outside again. You needed to clear your head and get away from Steve. The secondhand embarrassment you just knew was waiting for you was almost too much to even think about - what would he think of you now? What would everyone else think of you?

Steve had beaten you to it and was already out there, leaning against the glass railing with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing an amused expression on his face.

"Oh my god! You scared me!" your voice heightened to a shriek. "What the hell, Rogers? How are you here? Why are you here?"

"I know you like the back of my hand, sweetheart," he chuckled lightly. "You always come out here whenever you're restless or stressed out. Figured you'd try to flee as soon as you heard," he gestured back inside, "all that."

"That was none of your business!" you squeaked. "It was a private message, not meant for you to actually hear! It wasn't for you!"

"Well, you did announce it, publicly," he defended himself, pushing himself away from the railing and raising his hands in surrender. "And it sounded like it was for me. You said my name."

"It wasn't for you!"

"Then why'd you say Steve?"

"It's a different Steve?"

"A different Steve with a stealth suit, Quinjet, and evac team?"

"Y-yeah! B-but it's really funny. Why are you listening to other people's recordings?'

"Like I said, doll," your face flushed at the nickname, "it was broadcasted publicly. I didn't listen, I heard."

"Because you heard it, you carelessly hear it all the way through?"

He smirked. "You know, you're really cute when you're upset." He smirked, taking several steps towards you. You instinctively stepped back. "But why are you running away? When you were about to die you wanted to confess." With each step he took, you took another backwards. "But since you lived, you changed your mind?"

"Confess? That wasn't a confession. That wasn't me."

"This cell phone is yours," he held up your hand that tightly gripped your phone.

"This isn't a phone- Y/N, what the hell are you saying? Stop talking," you cursed yourself under your breath.

"It's an honor knowing I'm in your will," he said kindly.

"If you know then that's enough," you exhaled, stepping around him to leave. Steve stopped you by placing a hand out in front, before moving it to grip your wrist. You felt your skin heat up rapidly under his touch.

You gasped. "Look! Thor set the toaster on fire!"

"I'm not fooled, sweetheart."

You moved to try and leave again, but he only tightened his grip. "Whether or not it was a confession, I'm going to listen to it, so let's not run away, shall we?"

You were silent for several moments before responding, swallowing hard. "Okay. I got it. I'll answer you so let go of me and let's talk. Really."

"Really, right?"

He obeyed, releasing his hand from your wrist. You quickly moved around him and ran back inside. Steve just laughed to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

"She finally did it," Sam nodded in approval as he and Bucky finished their Rainbow Road deathmatch. "Good game, man."

"Yeah, good game," they shook hands, "but if I'm being honest...I didn't expect things to go down like that. If anything, Steve seems like he'd be the first to confess. The way they're dancing around each other like oblivious monkeys...damn."

"Couldn't have described it better."

...

You flopped onto your bed, panting heavily as you stared up at the ceiling. Your heart was beating so fast that you felt like passing out. Maybe I'll just die like this and I won't ever have to confess for real, you thought. That sounds much better than death by blood loss from a gunshot wound.

"Hey, darling."

You sat up and let out a short scream as you saw Steve leaning against your doorframe, that damn smirk still on his face. "What the hell? You can't just ambush me like that! How long have you been standing there for?"

"Long enough," he chuckled, sliding his hands in his pockets and stepping inside. This time, you were too lazy to push him away, and just allowed him to sit down next to you at the edge of your bed. Steve propped his hand on his chin as he gazed at you, smiling.

You sighed and let your head fall into your hands. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Steve tilted his head in confusion. "How is this my fault?"

"Becau- never mind. I'm busy. I gotta go check up on the new lab I'm working on with Bruce."

You stood up abruptly, but he reached out and grabbed your wrist again. "I'm going to go to the labs, too. He asked me to help with a few things. I think you just found yourself an escort."

"I can go by myself, Rogers. I'm an adult," you gave him a pointed look.

"Ouch. That stung," he pretended to look hurt. "Last name calling? I thought we agreed on sappy pet names. And besides, you know what happened last time you went somewhere alone. You got shot."

"Whatever."

"Hold on," he tugged you back so that you had to sit down again. "Why do you keep running away from me? You confess your feelings in your will and then you run."

"It wasn't my will."

"You said you were scared to die alone."

"It wasn't me. Where is your bout of confidence even coming from?"

"I'm not asking how you feel about me at the moment. Don't feel bad that I found out how you feel about me. Because I'm in love with you too, and nothing can change the fact that I like you even more now."

You swallowed hard.

He smiled again. "And you look beautiful today, doll."

"Stop with the pet names," you mumbled. You couldn't stop the tremor in your tone as you spoke

"Hey hey hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Steve brought a hand up to your face, lightly skimming the tip of his thumb across your cheekbone to wipe away the tears that had fallen. "Hey. Tell me what's wrong, darling."

As soon as that last word left his lips, you lost it. A broken sob escaped from your mouth before you broke down, and he felt guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. Sure, he was lightly teasing you - but he didn't intend for his jabs to hurt you in any way. That was the last thing he wanted to do - to see you cry. He hated seeing you cry.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," he whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him, rubbing circles onto your back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken the teasing so far. I'm so sorry, Y/N-"

It took nearly twenty minutes for your sniffles to die down and another ten for your crying to stop completely, but he patiently held you until you did. And when it finally stopped, it still took you several moments before you could bring yourself to meet his eyes.

"I look like a mess," you muttered, quickly ducking your head down to wipe at your nose. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this-"

"You look lovely, regardless," Steve murmured, kissing your forehead. "You'll always look beautiful in my eyes."

"You're such a sap," you mumbled, closing your eyes. "I hate you."

"You know you love me, Y/N."

"No I don't."

"That message told me otherwise. You sounded like you were pretty in love, judging by the desperate tone in your voice-"

"Shut up!"

"Make me," he challenged, a smirk appearing on his face.

You huffed and stood up, crossing your arms. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that, Rogers?"

"Watch your language-"

"Make me."

"Using my own words against me, are you?" Steve raised a brow as he stood up as well, walking towards you. You kept walking backwards until you felt your back hit the wall and internally panicked when you realized there was nowhere else to go.

"Shit," you whispered. "I'm not escaping this one, am I?"

"Not a chance," he chuckled wistfully. You felt your heart do somersaults and your stomach twist itself into knots as he met your eyes, a softened look to them that you'd never seen before - what was it? Just a few minutes earlier you'd find yourself squirming beneath his intense gaze but for some reason, you stayed put.

When his lips pressed against yours, you felt a crackle of electricity across your skin and the world fell away. It seemed as if time stopped and held its breath as it watched the two of you, his arm curving around your waist as his free hand rested at the back of your neck, pulling you flush against him. Though you were taken aback by the sudden gesture and terrified you wasted no time in reacting, sinking deeper into the kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips and fireworks exploded inside your chest - if there was a way to describe pure magic, this would definitely be it. And he felt it too - and he swore to himself that he'd never felt a bigger rush of adrenaline before until now.

You looked absolutely stunning to him in that moment as you pulled apart - with your half-closed eyes, reddened cheeks, and swollen lips - his doing, no doubt. Your gaze slipped down to his equally swollen lips and you felt your face flush at the sight. Steve was quick to catch what you were doing and pulled you back in for more.

This time, it wasn't as innocent and quick. It was more needy, passionate - months, no, years of pent-up frustration he didn't even know he had seeping into it. Years of not being able to tell you finally being poured out into one grand gesture - years of finally getting closure because he now knew the girl he'd loved for as long as he could remember felt the same way.

"Oh my fucking shit."

The two of you were practically gasping for air as you broke apart a second time to see a smug-looking Sam.

"You just- I didn't interrupted something between y'all, did I?" Sam cocked a brow. "Looked like you were this close to-"

"No," you exhaled, "we weren't."

"I'm a GENIUS for fixing that speaker! If I hadn't done so you guys never would've gotten together!" Peter squealed as he appeared by the Falcon's side. "I believe a thank you is in order!"

"I hope my timing isn't bad, but I have to ask," Steve cleared his throat and looked you straight in the eye. "that was a confession, right? And you didn't do it just because you felt compelled to. Be honest with me."

You let out a sigh of defeat. "Yeah...it was."

He broke into a gorgeous, million-dollar grin that made you weak at the knees. He leaned down, lips ghosting over yours as if he was going to kiss you again - but pulled back, much to your disappointment.

"I guess I'm the victor of this battle, huh," he whispered before releasing his hold on you and walking out, leaving you to stand there utterly shell-shocked and speechless as Peter and Sam began teasing you.

#avengers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #avengers x reader #captain america imagine #captain america x reader #marvel fic #avengers fanfiction #captain america one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers one shot #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers fic #captain america fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fic #chris evans one shot

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wonderlander-i · 4 years

Text

A map to his heart

Pairing : Edward x MC (Robin Sparrow)

Words count : 1,6k ~

Warnings : language I guess?

Author's note : I'm not even going to apologise for writing this. I had to post it because if I stare at it one more moment I'll throw it away.

Also I'm tagging the amazing @mvalentine

Anyway have fun!

"Astonishing..." Edward mumbled, staring goofily at Robin's rosy face.

"What?"

It was late in the afternoon, both of them working on deck in the radiant heat of summer, the blinding light of the sun reflecting on their eyes. Edward stood in front of the puzzled woman, his hand reaching towards her reddened cheek. His eyes were wide open, his mouth gapping.

He brushed her soft skin with his thumb, and she gasped at the contact. His hands were rough, an inevitable consequence of spending half of his life working in a ship. The ropes and boats's wheels knew no mercy. Yet she loved they way they felt against her skin. His touch was so delicate.

She gazed at him, not daring to move, wondering what got into him so suddenly. He wasn't a man to publicly display his affection anyway. He was more of the reserved type, and she respected him deeply for that. Just like she respected the distance he always tried to put between them.

Not that she didn't crave his touch, not that he didn't have his ropes tied around her heart ever since she met him. She almost loved him. A secret she'll never tell.

"Tis like the map of another world" He mumbled, slowly tracing his finger on her blushing cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" She breathed out, suddenly aware that their faces were barely inches away. She saw his curious eyes studying her carefully, and she felt the heat rising from her face, her heart beating like a battle drum.

They were so close. She could see the crinkles of his eyes as he smiled, the sweat dripping from his tan forehead from the many times he climbed up and down the rigging in the heat of the past hour. She subconsciously lowered her gaze to his parted lips.

He was a beautiful man indeed. Him and his stupid smile and his stupid stubble. He always seemed like he had the perfect amount of stubble at any day, like he was coming out of some idealistic romance novel. That was so cliché she almost rolled her eyes at the thought.

She lifted her eyes back up, drawing a sharp deep breath in.

"Your freckles, they're breathtaking" Edward smiled, carefully tucking her hair behind her ear to reveal more of the brownish small dots.

His confession left her speechless. He always kept surprising her when she expected it the least. She slowly reached her cheek with her trembling fingers, still mesmerised by the way he locked his eyes on her.

"Oh" She whispered "It's the sun, I'm not used to going so long without sunscreen"

"Sunscreen?" He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. His hand moved forward, cupping her cheek as she lowered her hand away from it to fumble with with the shirt sleeve of her other arm.

"It's a lotion, sort of. It protects me from the sun" She explained "I used tons of it back home"

"Why would ye?" He questioned, and she scrunched her nose. To her, the answer seemed so obvious. Sometimes, she forgets that she didn't belong to this world. Not to this era. She often had to explain to Edward the use of the random things she wished she could've brought with her, her phone charger the most.

"So I wouldn't get sunburnt" She explained "And..."

She peered at him through her eyelashes, watching at he pursed his lips together into a fine line, furrowing his eyebrow as he stared into her eyes

"To stop..." Her thoughts were slowly escaping away from her foggy mind.

With no preceeding warning, she felt his strong arm wrapping around her waist. Her last two functioning brain cells kissed her goodbye as she placed her palms on his perfectly chiselled chest. She felt his his steady heartbeats as her fingers grazed the white fabric of button up he wore.

"My freckles..." She gulped hardly, continuing "from... Showing"

"Tis absurd" He shook his head, grinning "Why would you want to hide such a divinity? "

They stared back at each other for what seemed like an eternity. None of them adding another word. Both lost in the other's eyes. Stuck in the moment.

"Miss Sparrow" He mumbled, leaning closer to her. She felt his warm breaths against her skin, and she hesitatingly wrapped her arms around his neck, burring her slim fingers in his long hair.

"By the thunder, do ye even know how beautiful you are?" He whispered, and she slowly closed her eyes, her head gone hazy. She leaned in a little closer, their foreheads resting against each other. She gasped as his tender lips kissed the tip of her nose. Dear heavens, what was this man doing to her...

" You're more beautiful than the sight of an isle after a raging storm" He chuckled, brushing his lips against hers "More beautiful than the early morning light"

His arm tightned around her.

"Robin" He whispered, his raspy voice making her body shiver.

She stopped and opened her eyes to look at his. She could see a hint of fear mixed with excitement, and she squeezed her eyes shut again . She couldn't bare to see a hint of hesitation in his. She couldn't see regret. She couldn't look at him as he pushes away again. Not after he consumed her daydreams and late night thoughts. Maybe if she keeps her eyes closed–

"Aye cap'n" A voice interrupted

"Ye might need to come, Maggie is beating Ax's arse again"

She opened her eyes and and turned her head around abruptly.

There stood Henry, with a meat knife in his hand, looking at them blankly.

Edward cleared his throat awkwardly, releasing her from his grip and taking few steps back away.

"I– Thank you, Henry" The captain replied "I'll be there in a moment"

Henry turned around and walked away, cleaning his knife with a cloth and singing to himself some old pirate chantey as if cares about nothing in the world.

Robin sighed and turned away without looking back, hearing the footsteps of Edward walking away after a while.

She leaned against the railing and folded her arms over it, looking at the distant horizon, the sun already setting.

She frowned, tapping her fingers against the wood, but her frown was immediately replaced by a surprised gasp as she felt the familiar strong pair of arms wrapping around her, only after few moments after walking away. She smiled.

In one swift movement, he turned her to face him and scooped her up so she was sitting on the railing, his arms still wrapped around her waist, holding her securely.

She blinked. Her heart was racing, the adrenaline pumping in her veins. She turned her head around and looked down at the angry waves. Her mind raced. If he were to let her go, she knew she'd slip overboard, into the unknown, cruel, cold salty waters.

But he didn't. He wouldn't. And she knew it. Her breaths slowed down. She knew that the sky was blue. She knew that the earth was round, even if they'd accuse her of witchcraft if she said it out loud. And she knew that she could trust Edward with her life, any day.

Her fingers wrapped instinctively around the hem of his shirt, clinging to him tightly.

"Edward" She turned back to face him.

"Hello, my lady" He murmured.

She gazed at his sweet eyes, the changing colour of the evening sky reflecting on them.

"Weren't you supposed to check on–"

"Kiss me, Sparrow" He interrupted her, his voice deep and hoarse "Kiss me like there's no tomorrow"

"Why are you taking the risk, Edward" She mumbled his name, her gaze lingering on his lips, before dragging them back up to his eyes

"Screw them all" He growled "I'm tired, Robin. I've had my share of running. Running away from this. Running away from my feelings, from you. Enough! "

Her heart skipped a beat at his words, feeling his chest muscles tense up.

"By the thunder, if anyone dares to lay a finger on you, it'll be the last thing that filthy scum does before I rip his lungs off with my bare hands"

She shook her head "You're an unbelievable man, captain"

He raised an eyebrow, clenching his jaw "Are you doubting me?"

"Nay" She smiled "I like it when you get all agressive" and she leaned down, gently pecking his lips before pulling away to look at his now soft expressions

"It's cute"

"I'm a respectable pirate captain" He rolled his eyes "I blow men down, I plunder booty. You can't call me–" He was silenced by the feeling of her lips on top of his again.

He inhaled a sharp gasp, tugging her closely, a small sound escaping his throat. Her thoughts were clouded, the rush of sitting on the edge of the swaying ship making her even dizzier. She sighed, cupping his face and pouring all her longing for him in that kiss.

They pulled apart breathless. Both of their eyes were closed, their foreheads pressed together, her hair flowing with the evening winds.

She was the first to open her eyes after a while, only to find him grinning like an idiot.

"That's a lot for a bunch of freckles."

#edward x mc #distant shores #edward mortemer #choices stories you play #choices fanfiction #choices

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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years

Text

THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part V/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back. Will it help, or will the situation just get more twisted and dangerous?

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff: @shirukitsune @retrxbarnes @montypythonsholysnail

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language

A/N: I've been kinda missing for quite a while, posting something here and there, but I kinda miss writing regularly so I'll try come back to posting twice-thrice a week, but you gotta give me a bit to get some shit rearranged and written for that schedule to be possible. Meanwhile, enjoy this part of the series and if you wanna be added to the taglist, send an ask <3.

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I took a deep breath and threw myself against the backrest, waiting for the first location to load while my hands ran through up my face and through my hair.

A yawn escaped my lips as I checked the laptop's clock first, and the timer for the code to do its magic second.

Leaving the laptop over the chair where I had been sitting, I walked my way to the kitchen and poured myself what would be the fourth coffee of that morning.

As soon as I finished, I made my way to the balcony were I used to spend those early mornings with my mug held between my palms.

I took a sip of my coffee, resting my elbows over the small balcony's railing. My were eyes closed as I breathed in the forest morning breeze.

"So much for saying it was a one-night stand." A teasing voice behind me asked, and a grin tugged the corners of my lips. "You still here?"

"It's been two weeks since that." I taunted him, taking a sip. "get over it."

"can't get over you." He dramatically stated in his morning husky voice, which made the sentence seem way more romantic than I thought it was.

"So fucking cheesy." I laughed.

"Bare with me, doll." feeling his lips against my temple made my smile wider while a pair of hands traveled from behind me to rest on my hips. "this is mine." he tugged the hem of his jacket, which I was wearing.

I hummed in response, leaning my back against his chest. "It's chilly out here. I didn't wanna get cold."

He tugged the hem of his jacket eagerly, feathery kisses tracing a path from my shoulder to my neck "come back to bed" I chuckled at his eagerness . " it's still warm."

"I got work to do" I replied noctant with the sole goal of sort-of upsetting him in a playful way. "No time for cuddling."

"Please, Y/n." he whined, slowly pulling me away from the balcony to take me back to the bed. "Just ten minutes."

"It's not gonna be ten minutes." I retorted playfully, turning around to kiss his lips as we entered the bedroom once more. "You're not fooling anyone with those puppy eyes, Barnes."

He let out a subtle laugh "at least you won't get cold."

I shivered.

It was always a little bit too chilly during the morning in that balcony.

I felt the urge to squeal when a jacket was suddenly thrown over my shoulders as a reply to my subtle shiver.

I held it back, though, and instead, grabbed the lapels clothing offered and put it on while a tall figure made its way to my side "Drop the coffee, yunky." Sam teased, resting his elbows over the railing without sparing me more than a subtle glance. "it's like the tenth one I see you with this mornin'."

"It's just the fourth one." I responded, looking before me to avoid eye contact with him as I took a sip of the coffee. "It's nice to see your level of drama hasn't changed at all."

"it's good to see your level of sarcasm is still the same, too." I shook my head with a smirk I couldn't hold back. "I kinda missed that annoying sass."

"Oh boy, ain't I aware of that."

His amused yet brief chuckle preceeded a surprisingly soothing silence between the two of us.

"So" I looked over to him and, by the knowing half smile in his face as he watched me intently, I just knew what he was going to mention. "a boyfriend?"

"Hell no," I denied with a scoff. "we're not talking 'bout that."

"C'mon, Y/n." he whined, turning to face my side. "I won't tell Barnes."

"Sam" I pinched the bridge of my nose as all the bad memories from those last days with them came back around, as if they had been summoned by Bucky’s last name. "I still don't trust you. Any of you."

"Uh... Sorry."

"Like-- I appreciate you tryin" I explained the best way I could. "but we're not there yet, and I don't know if we ever will."

"Yeah I'm-"

I shut my eyes as the self-awareness of how rude I might have sounded hit me. "I'm sorry I-"

"No, no, I'm sorry, you're right." he sighed, rubbing is hands together in an anxious manner. "And... I know it's not my place to ask any of this, but-" he took a split second to measure his words before speaking. "You're happy with him, right?"

I frowned, not at the question itself, but at what was carefully hidden behind it. "what d'ya mean?"

"I mean, you're with him because he makes you happy, right?"

"Wilson, why the fuck would I be with him if he didn't?" I inquired, now turning around to face him as my tone turned more hostile each passing second.

"I shouldn't be sayin' this but-"

"But you're gonna say it anyway." I finished. He opened his mouth a couple of times but nothing came out. "C'mon, what d'ya mean?"

"Listen-" he glanced around before continuing the sentence he had just started. "I'm just sayin I hope it's 'cause you're happy together and not 'cause of Bucky."

We eyeballed each other for a hot second while the anger built up inside me, making it so damn hard for me not to explode.

"Y'know what? I'm not havin' it." I stated, stepping away from the balcony in order to reach the living room.

"That's not an answer."

"You don't fuckin' deserve one." I hissed, grabbing the laptop to finish what was left to do as quickly as I could, now eager to flee out of there.

How dare him? I thought to myself. Who the fuck gave him the right to say shit like that.

The moment I was done with the laptop, I smacked it shut and, picking up my jacket, I rushed downstairs.

I was so inside my thoughts that I ended up bumping into Bucky on my way out, which left us both with barely enough balance to avoid falling down the stairs.

"Shit- sorry."

"Don't worry." he let go of my forearms, which I didn't know he was holding, and I shockingly enough, had to do the same, since I gripped his arms to avoid falling. "You okay?"

"Yeah- I mean..." I puffed, affirming with my head. "I'm fine."

"I..." I stared into his eyes for a moment, watching him trying to read me in order to find out what was wrong. "You sure?" I only nodded as his worried irises observed me. "you finished?"

"Yeah, everything's set in the laptop already." he mumbled an 'alright' and stepped aside, freeing the way for me to exit. "I... I really hope you find her."

"I'll call you if I need your help again." he answered, and, right after, attempted to climb upstairs.

"Bucky wait!" I followed him just to be close enough to be able to grab his hand, which made his whole body tense. "I changed my number." I explained whilst getting a pen out of my pocket to scribble my new number on his palm. "there it goes." I let go of him with a pang of sadness that I wouldn't even admit to myself. "keep me updated." I requested, trying my best to ignore the tinge of red creeping up his neck and ears.

"Okay. Have a good time with your boyfriend." what was meant to be a smile ended up as a pursed lip, and I couldn't blame him since I felt my mouth doing the same gesture as I climbed downstairs to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I double checked Natasha's phone's latest locations, which Y/n had managed to get before leaving, before going back to the map in order to revise which were areas out of New Jersey and Queens.

"Hey" I spun my head to the door frame, against where Sam's side was now resting. "How's it going?"

"Uh... I think we have something." I informed him, pointing at one small area near the center of Manhattan. "I called Carter— I know, Steve's gonna kill me." I stated, anticipating whatever Sam must have thought of saying out loud. "She said Hydra's boys have been seen in this area for a while and--"

"I wasn't asking 'bout Nat." he cut me off, tilting his head to the side slightly while the faintest tinge of worry showed up in his eyes. "I meant-- y'know what I meant."

"What d'ya want me to say?" I questioned with a wannabe-careless shrug. "It's going. Just like it's been goin' for 'bout year already."

I took a peek at his face and I just knew he was about to explain to me how different it had been today from the rest of that year of me drowning in self-pity.

"Don't-"

"She got a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I heard that too." I replied sarcastically, getting up in order to reach for the phone again.

"What I mean-"

"She moved on, I know." I finished his sentence, starting to mark Peggy's number once again. "Can you focus on-"

Sam teared the phone away from me in a swift movement, which left me shocked for a couple of seconds.

"what the hell, Wilson?"

"Don't call Peggy," he warned me, locking the phone and placing it in his pocket. "Steve's gonna end you. And-"

"I swear if it's 'bout-"

"I wasn't gonna say that she moved on, you idiot." he snapped. "I was gonna say, don't do anything fucking stupid."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means she's not single." my friend warned me with arms crossed, no longer resting against the door frame. "It means that if somethin' happens and she doesn't stop it-"

"Nothin'll happen," I assured him with a sting of pain in my heart.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm just sayin'..."

"Sam."

"I'm tryna help, man." his reply sounded as a desperate whine. "If you do something stupid and her relationship goes south, the blame's gonna be on you."

"It wouldn't-"

"It will," he argued, lowering the voice before continuing. " 'cause it's easier to blame the ex who fucked her up."

"We're all adults."

"Yeah" he agreed. "but you're my friend and I don't wanna see you bawling and weeping for another year."

"I'll be just fine."

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