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thatthoughtatthebackofyourmind · 1 year ago

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In Defence of Albus Dumbledore:

Look. I know this is an unpopular opinion, so I’m going to write this here because putting it anywhere else (like at the bottom of the fics which have inspired this frustration) would seem mean, and it would probably end up coming off as unintentional flaming, which I would never do to anyone ever. Also, as I’m less frustrated with individual works than I am with an entire situation, it wouldn’t really be fair to direct it at one specific person.

Get ready. This is going to be very ranty and long and I can't promise not to get off topic and onto a tangent a few times.

I understand that we all have grown up a lot since first reading Harry Potter. I get that once we realized how grey a few of Dumbledore’s decisions actually and the ways in which they affected the characters we love we all felt rightfully upset.

But can we please stop being so narrowminded about it?

There are plenty of redemption fics out there. A lot of them are works that redeem characters like Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Draco’s parents, various Dursleys and loads of other people. I’ve seen fics that have Sirius confronting the realities of his juvenal behaviours and having to atone for past wrongs. I’ve even seen (but admittedly never read) fics that redeem Voldemort himself.

But the least popular person for a redemption story in fanfiction by far seems to be Albus Dumbledore.

I get it.

He was supposed to be an infallible genius who did no wrong and he let us down. But please.

Can we all please just admit that we’re using Dumbledore as a stand in?

The hatred we as a fan community levy at Dumbledore is influenced by so much more than his actions in cannon.

It’s the dissolution we feel at growing up. The need as young people to bite back at overbearing authority. It’s the conviction that leaders should never be allowed to fail if failure means the death of innocent people. Even though we can all recognize on a personal level that our failures are typically unintentional and are definitely what make us human.

Of late, it’s very clear that Dumbledore is a stand in for the betrayal we feel at JK Rowling’s anti-trans standing.

We all loved her so much.

She gave us this world.

She promised it to everyone.

And then she said that it was all a lie, and that it was never meant for some of us anyway.

The parallels are clear.

While we were first reading, we loved who Harry loved. Simply because he loved them, and we loved him.

When we grew up, we started acknowledging the ways in which the characters mirrored people in real life, and we chose the people we found the most familiar to love instead. Personally, I understand the reason I read Severitus so often is because I had a largely absent father who I idolized as a child, and that father was a bit of a rockstar like person. Dark, intelligent, and cruel when he wanted to be. Artistic, genius, condescending, and amazing.

As an adult, I still long for his love and approval. Learning that Severus was capable of so much good at the very end of his story, that he was in fact good all along, even when he looked exactly the opposite, gave me hope that my father was too. Even though I now understand that redemption for my father is just a fairy tale it’s still a story I hold close to my heart. A story I long for. It’s a possible happy ending for both a lonely child and a jaded grouchy adult.

Albus Dumbledore was different.

This was a man that we trusted to have everyone’s best intentions at heart. We were told he was safe. We were told he was the smartest man in any room. And then he failed us. And we looked back at all he had done, and rather than seeing the good he had tried to achieve, all we could see were the mistakes he had made.

I firmly believe that the reason that so many people hate him so strongly now is because we all loved him so much first. Like Harry, we all believe that he was incapable of mistakes. His mistakes in cannon aren’t any more morally condemning than anyone else on the light side.

Keep in mind that I said, “in cannon.” I feel like I need to distinguish that. In cannon, though Harry asked if he could stay at Hogwarts during the summer, he never told Dumbledore about living in a cupboard under the stairs. His letter was addressed to there, but we have no way of knowing whether it was physically or magically written on the envelope. And besides, that letter was signed by Professor McGonagall, not Dumbledore. Harry also never mentioned to him the Dursleys withholding food. Or locking up his trunk so that he couldn’t do his homework. He made it clear that they disliked him, that they thought him a burden, but think. Really think. Dumbledore is the head of a school full of children. How many children misunderstand and exaggerate even in their own minds how much their families dislike them.

Let me be clear; when I say kids exaggerate I don’t mean in terms of abuse. I only mean typical things such as, “My mom’s always grouchy when she gets home from work and she never notices that I’ve tried really hard by cleaning the bathroom if she told me to clean the kitchen before she got home and I decided to do the bathroom because I wanted to clean it instead of doing the dishes and now she’s yelling at me that she just needs me to help her sometimes, and I don’t feel like that’s fair because really I do. Look, I cleaned the whole bathroom by myself! And I straitened up the living room too! The only thing I ‘forgot’ was the kitchen and now she’s acting like I do nothing. This means she hates me and appreciates nothing I do. I am clearly a burden to her, and I should go live under a rock so that she doesn’t have to deal with me anymore.” Really, your mom probably isn’t saying you’re a burden. Your mom is more than likely overworked, over-tired, and almost certainly depressed in a society that doesn’t cater to mental health awareness, and on top of all that she was raised by a generation that was allergic to admitting and self-regulating their true feelings so she can’t articulate that and she’s instead taking her frustrations out on you.

This is wrong, and she shouldn’t do it. But consider. Why didn’t you want to clean the kitchen? Was it because you had a long hard day at school and you’re overworked, over-tired, and definitely depressed in a world that doesn’t cater to mental health awareness, and all you really wanted was a break from the hardest job and you just wanted to compromise by doing the ones you felt emotionally and physically able to do? Because I promise, that’s probably exactly how your mom feels about the damn dirty dishes that she’s going to have to deal with before she can make dinner after being cussed out and yelled at by customers and or bosses all day in between doing her actual work and that’s the real reason she’s yelling.

Because, though a lot of teens believe otherwise, parents are still just people and the feelings that overwhelm kids still overwhelm adults just as badly. And they’re even less likely to know how to help themselves because they didn’t grow up with the internet where everyone shares their feeling and gets back validation and advice, so they mostly just believed those feelings were personal failings that indicated something broken specifically only in them and that they should learn to live with it and never tell anyone ever because complaining is for babies and liberals. Okay, maybe that last bit is a little too specific to my own mother, but you get the idea.

It’s a cycle that’s been going on for years. Hopefully, we can eventually all learn how to communicate peacefully and compromise on chores sometimes so we can end it someday. Or everyone can just switch to paper plates, and then we’ll worry about how we’re killing the planet later and no one will have to do the dishes ever again.

The point is, while that isn’t the best parenting style, and it can cause issue’s with your familial relationship as you age, it isn’t technically abuse. And it especially wouldn’t be considered abuse in the 90’s while Harry Potter was taking place or the early 00’s when it was being published.

Harry was not bruised when he arrived at Hogwarts. He didn’t show obvious outward signs of abuse. He never told any adults what his life was like at the Dursleys at all. He really didn’t even say much about it to Ron or Hermione either. Mrs. Weasley sent him treats for his birthday, which was a sweet motherly gesture. Hermione and Hagrid did as well but think about it. Do you believe for a second that if Molly have-another-serving, can-I-get-you-some-more-bread, try-the-potatoes Weasley honestly thought the Dursley’s were starving Harry that she would first wait until the end of July to send Harry anything, and then only send him sweets? She would scale the Dursleys’ house and stuff a full six course meal through the bars multiple times a day before she let that boy live off stale birthday cake. When she asked if the Dursley had fed him enough she meant it in the same way she always meant it, in the if ‘I can feed the world I can love the world’ way.

Hagrid sent him rock cakes, but again, think about it. Hagrid had shown up with a cake for Harry’s birthday the day he first delivered the letter when he couldn’t have yet known of the way Harry was treated. He just wanted to show Harry he was loved and missed.

Of the people who sent him food, only Hermione really knew Harry didn’t get to eat his fill at the Dursley’s and she still only sent cake because all she knew was that he was being forced to diet with Dudley. Which is why she sent him the kind of food one would eat if they weren’t on a diet instead of true sustenance. A fourth of a grapefruit as a meal is not a diet, no matter what Petunia called it. And if he had told Hermione specifics, she likely would have told Harry that, but again, he didn’t tell anyone specifics.

Everyone knew that Harry was unfavoured by the Dursley’s and that they wouldn’t be celebrating his birthday, and he wouldn’t receive cake or presents, but they really didn’t know much else. Ron and Hermione only understood he was being starved in the way most naive well-fed kids from happy families can understand. It sounded cruel, and they did try to tell people, but because they didn’t understand the full gravity of the situation, they couldn’t properly communicate to trusted adults that Harry was actually experiencing abuse. Plus, Harry tended to downplay it even to them.

When Dumbledore speaks about knowing Harry would come from a less than happy home, you can tell he is picturing a world where Harry is liked second best to his cousin. Where he never feels fully at home. Like an overextended visitor in a relative’s house. He thinks they’ll treat him like the weird cousin who came to stay and never left rather than an immediate family member.

He isn’t picturing Petunia Dursley slinging a frying pan at Harry’s head. Or refusing to let him drink his fill of water on a hot summer’s day spent weeding her ridiculous flower garden. Or an overly restrictive diet enforced on an already undernourished body simply to make Harry’s morbidly obese cousin feel better about his doctor changing his eating habits.

I think we’ll all agree that feeling less than welcome by stuck up relatives sucks, but it’s better than whatever Voldemort’s loyal leftover followers will do to him if they manage to track down the person responsible for their dark lord’s downfall.

I understand why a lot of people feel like Dumbledore should have just put Harry under the Fidelius Charm and hid him rather than sending him to the Dursley’s but consider: If Dumbledore trusted Sirius the way he must have done to not betray James and his family, then it makes sense that he felt Fidelius was no longer an option. He fully believed Sirius was the secret keeper. Sirius, the Potters, and Pettigrew were the only ones to know of the change. It’s likely that after learning that the Death Eaters had convinced Sirius to betray the Potters he was jaded enough to take it as a sign that no one could be a trusted Secret Keeper. No matter how much they loved the person under protection.

He also likely would have insisted on a trial for Sirius had Sirius himself not told everyone that he was the one who killed James and Lily while descending into hysterical laughter. We know what Sirius meant, (he felt responsible for them dying because switching to Peter at the last minute had been his idea) because we read the third Harry Potter book, but Dumbledore didn’t have that same advantage. All he had was the word of an apparently mad man. A man who had just tracked down another dear friend and apparently killed him and 12 innocent bystanders in a fit of insanity.

Why, when last he had heard Sirius was the Secret Keeper, would he doubt a verbal confession from a man who did nothing to try and save himself from Azkaban? The Marauders never told anyone of their animagus abilities. No one but Sirius could have understood what Peter had done. Why do we expect Dumbledore to have known better?

So, instead of Fidelius and hiding Harry away for his entire childhood, he gave him the best protection he could think of under the circumstances he had been given. He sought to give Harry a normal life and to keep him safe from the remaining Death Eaters.

Dumbledore understood that fame was power, and that power could corrupt even the best of people with the strongest of minds, so he kept Harry away from the limelight. He also understood how fickle people where about fame. This was the right decision even if the Dursley were a bad choice in guardians. We saw proof of this numerous times while Harry was at school. His fame only ever seemed to bring him more hardships. In book two they said Harry was a dark wizard because he was a Parselmouth and that that’s how he overpowered Voldemort. In book four even some of Harry’s friends refused to believe he wasn’t just a glory hound and that it hadn’t been him who entered his name in the tournament, but rather someone trying to kill him. In book five, almost everyone refused to believe Harry was telling the truth about Voldemort’s return. Every single time Harry’s name entered the limelight, it was in a way that harmed him. Imagine how much earlier it would have started had he grown up in the wizarding world. They would have been debating his kindergarten finger paintings if they could have.

Why does the entire fandom also assume that Dumbledore thought of himself as the wisest most all-knowing man in any room? The only people who canonically acted like they believed that about him were the Golden Trio, and they were enlightened otherwise multiple times throughout the books as they grew up. Just as everyone learns new truths about trusted adults they thought of as perfect as they grow.

The fact is, Albus Dumbledore has always been just a man.

He was a great and powerful but flawed man who wanted more than anything to make sure that evil could not prevail. He obviously still holds plenty of shame and guilt over his dealings with Gellert Grindelwald in his misspent youth. We have surmised that when he looked in the Mirror of Erised he likely saw his sister Ariana, or something as equally heart-breaking which he recognized as his own fault. He fully understood that he was just a man. He encouraged everyone to understand that fact about Voldemort as well.

He was not a god, and he didn’t pretend to be.

Not in cannon anyway.

Fanon Dumbledore, on the other hand, tends to be anything from a meddling idiot to a full on manipulative dark lord complete with moustache twirling and nefarious intent. Which, I believe, further influences and enforces the fandom’s collective bad opinion of him. Most of us haven’t reread the real books in years. It gets hard to remember at some points what was something he did in canon vs. what was something he did in fanfiction.

Every other character seems welcomed to grow in the world of fandom.

Severus was canonically a willing Death Eater in his youth, a bully to children in his care in his adulthood, and a petty grudge-holder who couldn’t let go of the past. We accept that we can’t fully know how much of his behaviour towards the students was an act to fool the Death Eater’s children, but we can assume it definitely wasn’t all of it. Still, he gets plenty of redemption fics. He had literal access to Harry’s traumatic childhood memories but still saw no signs of abuse because he was too busy trying to keep a 15-year-old child from gaining any ammunition about his own past.

Looking back, it seems obvious that as very few of Harry’s childhood memories were shown in the Occlumency scenes, he likely wasn’t as bad at clearing his mind as either he or Snape assumed, but it was also possible that Severus didn’t see those memories because that wasn’t what he was looking for. The memory of Harry getting chased up a tree by Marge’s dog as the rest of his family watched and laughed should have triggered at least a couple of red flags, but Severus was typically determined to only see the bad in Harry, so he overlooked it.

James Potter who is often thought of as the better choice for Lily was also a bully. And he spent years relentlessly pursuing a relationship with someone who had never given him any indication that his advances were welcome and had in fact outright told him the exact opposite of that many times until he finally wore her down and convinced her to give him a shot. That’s gross, unacceptable behaviour but I guess it is technically better than dating a budding racist that sees you as the exception to his views on your people, so James is rebranded as a lovable hero who changed after having a slightly misspent youth rather than a mean spirited bully who likely grew bored with his main target once he no longer saw him as competition (there would have been no reason to bully Snape if Lily wasn’t friends with him anymore after 5th year which was conveniently around the time he began to “grow up”) as well as a pushy loser who wouldn’t take no for an answer even though Lily said it multiple times. (There’s also the point that once Snape knew about Lupin being a werewolf, James likely wouldn’t have bullied him anymore so as not to provoke Snape to reveal the secret and get Lupin thrown out of school and possibly killed.)

Ron told Molly outright that the Dursley’s were starving Harry and had fixed bars on his windows to trap him after weeks of being concerned when he didn’t reply to Ron’s letters, and she still ignored it, assuming instead that Ron was exaggerating and never even tried to check with Harry to learn that he wasn’t.

Remus spent a year teaching Harry individualized lessons to repel Dementors and never once asked him why he was so sad that they affected him in ways that none of the other students experienced. I mean really, he couldn’t have been the only orphan attending that school so Remus couldn’t have thought it was just that. And Neville’s backstory was nearly just as sad (and just as well known to Remus) and even he didn’t faint like Harry. Yet, he didn’t question Harry once.

Sirius (who is also a bully and a petty grudge-holder) never wondered why a child would want to move in with an escaped prisoner who he had never met before that had just mangled his best friend’s leg and tried to commit murder in front of him instead of the relatives he had been with his entire life. Even when until that very night he had believed that prisoner wanted to kill him?

Arthur actually met the Dursley’s and saw Vernon’s rage at magic when he came to collect Harry for the Quidditch World Cup and he still questioned nothing.

Half the Order found Harry locked inside his bedroom with locks affixed to the outside of the door, and all they did was give vague unfulfilled threats to Vernon and send Harry back. You could blame that on Dumbledore, but I think that’s ridiculous. They were not under Imperious. They made their own decisions. Every adult there had a responsibility to that child, and they all failed him individually.

Yet time and time again I see Dumbledore condemned so overwhelmingly in the very fics that redeem and or absolve these other characters of those very actions.

Even McGonagall, who knew from the start that the Dursleys were awful people, never pulled Harry aside as his head of house and asked him anything about his home life. And, as I stated earlier, her name was the one on the letter addressed to the cupboard under the stairs. She also made it very clear that she wasn’t someone for Harry to confide in by constantly dismissing any concerns he presented her. The way she reacted about the Stone was ridiculous. And her non-concern over the amount of detentions Harry received from Umbridge followed by the ‘have a biscuit’ scene rubbed me the wrong way. And yet, of late she seems to be revered in the fandom community as some kind of badass grandmotherly character. All because she protested one time about leaving Harry with the Dursleys and then never brought it up again.

It’s getting a bit ridiculous. I’m exhausted by the way the fan community continues to rewrite cannon to fit their dissatisfaction with our once trusted role-model JK Rowling through Harry Potter’s once trusted mentor Albus Dumbledore.

Just once I would like to read a Harry Potter fic without having to think about the various ways in which JK Rowling let us all down. And with everyone rewriting Dumbledore as the ‘real villain all along’ I can’t help but be taken out of the fic and forced to relate it to reality.

#anti dumbledore bashing #pro albus dumbledore #albus dumbledore

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kafkaoftherubble · 4 months ago

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纯属自娱。

From this: You sort of alluded to Ada feeling a little (or a lot) resentful about F's cult following, but how does she feel about his ability to say what people want to hear? Does she find comfort in it too? Or does she see through it and call bullshit? Or... a complicated combination of the two.

Ada's Relationship with F (1) My friend joined a cult he himself started

First off: Ada has a hand in F starting a cult, even if it's inadvertent on both of their parts. That will be explained in another post.

Ada very much resents F and his cult, but it's not all out of moral or ethical consideration. The first and foremost source of her resentment is seeing F independent, without her help.

Ada has always wanted to feel special and be important to anyone. When she finds F—who's sheltered from normal human interaction and life for so long despite being such a powerful being—she feels like this is her chance. She feels needed when F relies on her and seeks to keep it that way.

Ada's thoughts regarding F are... complicated. Enough to warrant another post. Again.

F being a leader of a cult—inspiring so much devotion and admiration from other humans to the point of being accepted with reverence—diminishes Ada's importance. Naturally, she seeks ways to knock F down a few pegs.

---

She's the first one to correctly deduce what's really happening when F appears wise—because she knows F lacks the actual life experience to understand many of these people's plight. Why does F know exactly how to comfort a grieving mother? Or a jilted lover? Or a young child who wants his family to stop fighting? F has no friend to learn this from. F has no stories to learn from. F has no life as a human being. He cannot possibly understand how these people feel; what he has is simply affective empathy made possible by his psychic power.

Ada thinks F is a liar—not only because he echoes what these people are thinking and passes it off as advice or comfort, but because he does not experience what they are going through. To her, he is feeling but not understanding. His words are vacuous, and yet his followers imbue them with so much self-generated meaning. To put it in a metaphor: every religious idol is just chiseled wood, carved stone, shaped clay, and painted surface no matter how sacred the believer thinks. But the believers behold a god in its place, anyway.

F is like that; his words are empty, but because he says what they want to hear, these believers see their own biases and meaning reflected back at them.

-----

There's another deeper reason why she resents it: Ada realizes that F's previous words of comfort toward her might be the same in nature as what he does with his followers.

F might have just been echoing the sentiments she has in her head... instead of genuinely believing that she has an inherent worth to be alive, or that she has something unique about her, or that she's going to be a really important person, or that someone will love her.

It hurts.

Ada sees herself in his followers. She, too, has hung onto F's words as a source of comfort and relief because he says the things she wants to hear. She, too, confuses F's ethereal mien, unearthly demeanor, and nondiscriminatory apathy as flawlessness, authority, and wisdom.

In a roundabout, but trenchant way, F's stint as a cult leader makes Ada realize just how painfully mediocre she is: she's just as fallible and easy to be swindled by everyone else, despite being a Ghoul with Others living in her head. She isn't some Grade S Critical Thinker who will never fall for lies. She's just a normal sod desperate for affirmation. Cult Leader F makes Ada realize she's vulnerable. Human.

This is from a quote by a magician who does a podcast about conmen and scams, "Cons don't fool us because we are stupid. They fool us because we are human."

But Ada doesn't wanna be human. She wants to be a Ghoul because it's a cut above being a boring, mundane human. She just wants to be special and different after years of being forced to live at the edge of invisibility by her Politician Parents. This is why F's habit of echoing other people's sentiments and passing them as advice and comfort cut her so much.

Lies. They are lies of a con man. She can't even believe anything F says, no matter how relieving they are.

----

Ada's concern has only become less selfish after witnessing what F has been doing toward his followers.

Despite her flaws, Ada generally gains no pleasure from seeing others suffer. She has been a victim of being marginalized and overlooked even when she wanted love and attention, after all. Seeing these followers relinquishing their own agency, willingly or unwillingly, gradually introduces a sense of urgency in her.

Interestingly, Ada's empathy toward F's followers stemmed from an understanding born from lived experience, while F's empathy toward them is simply made possible by his superpowers. F feels their emotions way more deeply than Ada, and yet Ada is the one whose empathy and sympathy are genuine. I suppose I just like how this allows me to interrogate the nature of empathy and benevolence. Can you feel genuine empathy if you've never experienced something similar before? If you can't, does it diminish the value of your expressed "empathy?" Is the care and condolences expressed by a person with affective empathy more authentic than someone who is only able to empathize as much as their imagination could take them?

Ada begins to try talking F out of his megalomania, but she gets shut down not only by F himself but his followers. He even uses some of his psychic power on her; Ada recovers quickly only because of her abnormal psyche (the Others make it impossible to fully control/influence her mind.

It hurts her even more when the Others cheerily—giddily, angrily, sneeringly, sardonically, maliciously—tell her what F does in response to her attempt to steer him back to the right course.

Ada is pained by her mediocrity again. This time, though, that mediocrity hurts because she lacks the power and wits to save her friend as he drifts away from her.

written at 12.56am, July 5th.

#the karma of 2015 lyns

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jensettermandu · 6 months ago

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idk if you’ve seen their latest response, but it’s essentially them double downing on what they said and making this backhanded ass “apology”. like I find it so amusing how they think that you’re in the wrong for not loving Jennie and that they’re not to blame whatsoever, legit acting as if someone can’t have an opinion and that she’s gonna die from a random person on the internet not loving her, which isn’t negatively affecting her in any way shape or form. not to mention, the op’s friend found it to be “immature” of you to not blur their usernames out- To me, they’re clearly not using their brains. like THEY came onto YOUR page to make some weird ass claims (THAT THEY PLANNED OUT- LIKE WHAT??) abt YOU on your PUBLIC ACCOUNT, like put two and two together. They are legit setting themselves up for failure and for what? Anyways my moral of the story for them is to not start shit up if they can’t handle it being handed back to them, point blank period‼️

i literally only said that i don't love a woman i have never met, but admire her if anything and NEVER did i mention hating her. them channelling their inner femcel is literally so worrying seeing how they view these idols tbh. THEY DID NOT APOLOGISE, that was NOT an apology. Excuses for your behaviour is not an apology, that's just you trying to justify what you did wrong without being able to admit what you did wrong.

PLEASE, they literally went to a public account that has 1.5k followers and POSTED where everyone can see. WHAT WOULD THE POINT OF BLURRING BE???? the fact that they planned it just makes it worse. no because imagine the dedication you gotta have to meet with your friends and plan to start something on some else's page. IT IS GIVING MENTAL PATIENT BABES. i have honestly never seen someone embarrass themselves so badly in a fanfiction community, everybody and their mum are embarrassed for them atp.

ANYONE who wants to start something with me on my pages, please do idm, but if you do it do it well and not like this. also do not expect me to blur your shit if you do it on my public accs and not in my dm's.

#jsmandu.inbox #i honestly do not mind people hating on me but please don't do it badly

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tinylint · 2 years ago

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The first date

Pairing: non-idol Jin x Y/N

Summary: You’re one date away from giving up on dating apps forever. You’ve set up one final date before you call it quits and hope fate drops a man in your lap. Will this date force you to give up dating apps because they are the worst? Or will it let you delete them because you don’t need them anymore? Fluff, fluff, fluff.

You were feeling close to giving up on dating apps altogether. You’d deleted them many times before and always came back to them because let’s be honest, does anyone meet people in real life anymore? But after using the apps for nearly 10 years it was starting to feel like a cosmic joke.

You’d gone out with guys who were far too eager to get to know you (but more your body than you), guys who never asked you one question about yourself, guys who asked you way too many and invasive questions about yourself, guys who were anarchists, guys who were morally opposed to most of the important things in your life, guys who had opinions on all the things in your life even when you didn’t ask them, guys who thought they were smarter than you when they weren’t, but mostly just a bunch of completely “meh” men that didn’t excite you. And maybe that was the worst part. The terrible men you went out with, those you at least got a good story out of. The men who were firmly “meh”, you came back from those dates unable to pinpoint why you didn’t want to see them again. You felt bad rejecting them, starting to believe that story in your head that you were too picky and wouldn’t deserve the kind of guy you really wanted anyway. Either you weren’t pretty enough or funny enough or successful enough or athletic enough or something. But the more mediocre and un-exciting dates you went on, the more you thought that maybe the price to not being lonely was spending your life with someone that was just okay. And you weren’t sure if you were willing to pay that price.

You had set up one final date through your most successful dating app and had decided that if this didn’t work you were either going to count on fate to send a man to your doorstep or you were going to learn to appreciate being alone for the rest of your life. This constant experience of not knowing whether or not you should go on a second date when you didn’t even like the first one was just too much.

At least the date you had set up was with an extremely beautiful Korean man. His name was Jin and in years past you probably would have been really excited. But lately you had gotten to the point where even a date with an attractive man didn’t excite you. First of all, sometimes those attractive men in the pictures they posted didn’t look quite the same when you met up with them. Second of all, sometimes their looks were the only good thing about them and the rest of the date was trash. But you at least weren’t secretly hoping he would cancel or stand you up, which is how you generally spent the hours leading up to your dates.

You walked in to the coffee shop you had decided to meet at 10 minutes early so you could order for yourself and do some reading to calm your nerves before he came. Choosing a table in a snug corner near the window you settled in with your warm drink and your book, looking up nervously every time sometime came in the door.

‘Just got here and sat down near the window,’ you texted him an update so he knew where you were.

‘Almost there, just parking now,’ you got a near immediate text back. Your heart raced a little.

This was the part of the date where you were nervous but didn’t want to admit it to yourself. It was the part where you tended to put on a face and pretend that you didn’t care if they rejected you or not, or that you didn’t care if the date was bad or didn’t work out. Lately you’d started worrying that this mindset had made you unable to open up to your dates and enjoy yourself so you had been trying to make sure you were really open to each possibility before each date.

‘Be open to him being the one for you y/n, you never know’ you silently said to yourself as you pretended to read the book in front of you while mostly going through all the worst case scenarios in your mind. You found that before dates you often ended up imagining him saying something offensive to you, or standing you up, or just being publicly the worst. And then you imagined yourself telling him off or arguing with him and walking out. You’re pretty sure you did those things because it was actually easier for you to know what to do in those situations than in a situation where someone actually liked you.

What do I do when they want to hold my gaze? What do I do when they compliment my looks? My mind? Me at all? Those were things you didn’t actually know how to respond to, so instead you daydreamed about going out with jerks that you got to publicly berate.

In the middle of trying to imagine how you would respond to compliments, i.e. pretending to read your book, the door opened and your head snapped up to see Jin.

The first thing to know was that his pictures were not lying. He was just as tall and broad and handsome as his pictures had showed. In fact possibly even more attractive than his pictures which was never the case. So now you were equal parts excited and worried you weren’t pretty enough.

You stood so he could see you and waved while walking toward him.

“Hey, Jin right?”

“Yes, Y/N it’s good to finally meet you,” Jin said, coming in for the side hug.

“You too! I already ordered, I hope you don’t mind. I always get anxious about who pays on dates so I like to just pay beforehand to bypass the whole question.”

“Oh! That’s fine, I’ll just go and order something and be back in a minute or two. Let me just leave my jacket here,” Jin took off his jacket, somehow making his shoulders look even broader than before.

In the few minutes it took for Jin to order and come back you had given up on pretending to read your book and set it aside, people watching through the window instead and trying to hype yourself up for the date.

“Is that a good book?” Jin asked as he returned to the table.

“Yes! I’m reading it for my book club and I really like it. We’re meeting tomorrow so I need to finish it quickly,” you said with a laugh. You always seemed to put off reading your book club books until right before the meeting.

“Well than I guess I’m lucky you were willing to take time out of your book reading too see me,” Jin smiled coyly.

“Yes, very lucky,” you smiled back and you were a little surprised to realize that the smile felt genuine instead of forced. Were you actually enjoying yourself already? “Do you like to read?”

“Sometimes, if a book is really good I like to read. But mostly I like to cook and play games. I really love learning more about food and immersing myself in the other worlds I find in games. What about you? What do you love to do?”

“Honestly, I really love my job…” and you then launched into talking about what you loved about your job. You never knew if it was tacky to talk about your job, but it really was one of the things you thought about the most and something you were comfortable talking about. Many times people just listened politely and said ‘that’s nice’ but Jin actually responded. He laughed at your stories, asked good questions, and related things you talked about to his job and life.

In short, for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were having a conversation that both of you were invested and interested in. You didn’t notice who was asking more of the questions, you weren’t politely asking questions to get to know him, you weren’t going through the motions of awkward “we just met” conversation. You were genuinely interested in what he had to say and wanted to share your thoughts with him.

Suddenly you realized that you could see the baristas mopping the floor and looked at your watch. It had been 2 hours since the date had started and the shop was about to close.

“Oh my goodness! They’re about to close, I didn’t realize how quickly the time had gone,” you said after glancing at your watch.

Jin’s eyebrows shot up as he checked his phone to affirm what you had said. He looked around confused, spotting the mopping employees.

“Oh no! We should probably get out of here so they can close on time,” Jin suddenly looked troubled. “I’m so sorry if we’ve been keeping you open,” he said to the employee cleaning the tables around us.

“It’s okay, you still have a few minutes,” they assured him.

“Thank you,” he said sweetly bowing his head.

I had begun gathering my things, putting my book in my bag and putting my jacket on. Usually I was doing these things after pretending I needed to leave because the date wasn’t going well and I was sick of being there. So at this point I was used to scheming to making sure I could avoid an unwanted goodnight kiss, or rehearsed saying no to a second date. But here I was, gathering my things and genuinely not wanting the evening to end.

I looked up to see Jin standing and holding his jacket, “Shall we go?”

“Well we don’t really have a choice do we?” I laughed.

“Not so much, no,” he chuckled in response.

Would he ask me out again? I wasn’t even ready for this date to end, let alone the idea that he wouldn’t want to see me again. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long to find out. Almost as soon as we exited the coffee shop he stopped in front of me and turned to face me.

“Y/N, I know you have a book to finish so even though I really want to ask you to come with me to get some ice cream so we can keep this date going, I’ll just ask you for a second date. Would you be interested in going out again?” Jin looked at me with hopeful eyes.

“I would love to go out with you again! But could I also take you up on the ice cream now? Or do I have to choose one?” I teased him lightly once I had the relief of knowing he as having as good of a time as I was.

He smiled at me mischievously, “I think we could arrange for both of those things to happen. Here follow me, there is a great ice cream place just around the corner.” He touched me lightly on the back of the arm to guide me in the right direction, but then pulled back his touch, keeping a respectable first date distance that I really appreciated.

Once we reached the ice cream shop our chatting had become flirtier. Now that we both knew the other was interested and we had learned a little bit about each other it was easier and more comfortable to flirt for both of us. Jin opened the door for both of us and followed behind me with the lightest of touches on the small of my back. I felt butterflies twisting around even at this slight touch.

“Now just to be clear, I intend to pay for you as long as that is okay with you,” Jin told me once we’d both entered the shop.

“I am absolutely okay with that,” I smiled at him.

“Good,” he said with a small wink.

Sitting down with our ice creams our conversation continued to flow as before, but this time I had those delightful nerves. The nerves I hadn’t felt in years, of noticing body language and trying to figure out what it meant. Did he want to kiss me as much as I wanted him to? Could I touch his hand or his elbow without being too noticeable and weird? Would he try to hold my hand as we walked back to our cars? Did I want him to? The giddiness just made the flow of conversation and the light flirting even more enjoyable.

We were once again reaching the closing time of yet another shop and we both knew it. At a lull in the conversation I forced myself to hold Jin’s gaze instead of looking away as I usually do.

“Y/N, you have really beautiful eyes and I have really enjoyed getting to know you tonight,” Jin said genuinely.

“Thank you, I have loved getting to know you too. I haven’t had a date this good in years, especially not with someone as handsome as you,” I said with a smile, trying to genuinely accept and reciprocate the compliment he had given me instead of deflecting it as I usually did.

“Can I walk you back to your car?”

“I would love that.”

As we walked back to the direction of where our cars were parked I was painfully aware of where my hand was swinging, having intentionally decided to let it swing in case he wanted to hold it. Our hands brushed, my breath caught, and his pinky lightly grabbed mine. Hesitatingly.

“Is this okay?” He asked shyly.

“Yes,” I replied softly.

Our conversation continued, but a little more awkwardly as we both thought about what we would do as we parted ways for the evening.

“That’s my car,” I pointed out my car as we got close.

We stopped in front of my car and there was the awkward first-date’s-end silence. Usually I filled this with “good to meet you”because I knew I never wanted to see them again and was trying desperately to make sure they knew that I didn’t want them to kiss me. But this time I did want him to kiss me, but was terrified that I wouldn’t know how to kiss him back. Or that he wouldn’t want to kiss me.

“Y/N, could I kiss you?” Jin couldn’t quite meet my gaze as he asked the question I had been hoping to hear.

I squeezed his hand in conjunction with my reply soon after “Absolutely.”

His eyes met mine with a smile. He moved his hands from holding mine to sliding around my waist as he leaned closer. I moved in, closing my eyes fairly quickly in hoping that closed eyes would give me courage.

Our lips met as my hands lightly grabbed the lapel of his jacket. His lips were soft, pillowy, and warm. The kiss was gentle, sweet, and far too short, but when we pulled apart my mind was buzzing from the contact.

We both stood in post-kiss silence, goofy smiles on our faces, not quite able to get our minds to form thoughts.

“Well I…sorry my brain isn’t quite working yet after that kiss,” Jin laughed as he pulled back from holding my waist, finding my hands on his jacket and grabbing them.

“That’s okay, I think my brain won’t be back in business for a few minutes either,” I smiled in return.

“Hopefully this doesn’t sound needy or overeager but…when can I see you again?” Jin bit his lip asking this question and you smiled even bigger knowing that he could never sound needy or overeager to you at this point because of how much you’d enjoyed your time together.

“Tomorrow? I didn’t even come close to finish this book for book club so maybe I should just skip it…” you said with gleam in your eye.

#jin #jin imagine #jin x reader #jin fanfic #jin fanfiction #bts fanfiction #jin fluff #bts imagines #bts fluff

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curtainsfell · 2 years ago

Text

AND INTRODUCING a young and bright-eyed newcomer to the stage, STERLING LECLAIR!

STERLING LECLAIR, a young man in the prime of his life! Born right here in our proud c ity ‘bM ▐iN ne ghberhood we — ! , LeClair grew up with an absent father and an overbearing older brother. He spent his childhood playing baseball in the dusty streets, doing odd jobs, and hanging around our beloved Theatre. Once he’d picked up his reading, writing, and arithmetic, LeClair nixed his classroom education in favor of learning from the genius of the Bard, and from the great works of our modern Ameri c n playwrights. The folks at the Empyrean will tell you hhe pic ked up on setcr aft from his keen eye for the stage. Self taught, a true self-made m an. Everyone’s kid brother! OUR SHINING LITTLE STAR!

MR. LECLAIR has been working in stagecraft since his boyhood. His ascension to the sta gₑᵢₛ ᵤₙ ₚᵣₑc ₑ dₑₙₜ d his ahsnce n, js his Mr Sterling LeClair is a mere twe nty-one yearsof age. His impressive set work has been seen in such splendid works as , , & mg █ ! LeClair claims a lot of his talent is merely a side effect of his understudy with another renowned young stage actor you shou ld know, one Marcus Barnum! Quite a claim to fame for LeClair. Be sure to applaud for them both in their upcoming projects.

AGE: 21

PRONOUNS: he/him

HEIGHT: 5’5

BODY TYPE: Lean & wiry

EYES: dark brown

HAIR: dark brown/black

ETHNICITY: German (father) & Korean (mother). Sterling is unaware of his mother’s heritage. He passes as white and looks at anyone askance if they suggest otherwise.

SEXUALITY: bisexual

ALIGNMENT: chaotic good

MYERS-BRIGGS: ENFP

FACECLAIM: Ricky Kim

POSITIVES: spirited, passionate, amicable

NEUTRALS: impulsive, daring, determined

NEGATIVES: defiant, stubborn, irritable

HOBBIES: dancing, carnivals, baseball, arguing as a pastime, whittling, the arts, finding new speakeasies & dance halls

QUIRKS: fiddles with his shirt sleeves, “berries” is his “swag”/“poggers”

FEARS: helplessness, becoming his father

DREAMS: to be a well-known actor, to make a change in the world

MORALS & VALUES: Sterling’s preoccupied with justice & fairness. He’s a proud member of the Empyrean’s union and involved in grassroots socialist activism. He’s active in the queer scene of the time. He has no qualms with being a loud-mouth or resorting to violence when he deems it necessary.

See, it’s his temper that would get him. But what a gas! He’d dance you all night long. And not afraid of anything! Oh, he’s awfully short compared to most fellas, only sta nds a few inches abo ve me, but you wouldn’t know it. He’s got some kind of presence, like a real stage star. And he’ll punch any man in the nose about, well, over nothing really. But you’d think he was made of sugar half the time. And he’s a terrible flirt. I think that’s what got him in the most trouble, at the end of it. Everyone knows you don’t get mix ed up with those big shot celebrity actors, and didn’t we all tell him. Men like that are trouble. But Sterling was the sort to go out and find trouble, anyway. Maybe he got what was coming to him. Oh, that’s awful to say, isn’t it? Don’t print that bit!

CAST OF CHARACTERS *These relationships are closed. Doubles of listed characters are welcome to take new roles or curate a new story with me.

@actliving as Marcus Barnum, the Actor

@lifetaking as Dorian LeClair, the older brother

Penny, the best friend

Clémence, her lover, abroad in Paris

Jonathan, the housemate

Amelia, his fiancée

STORIES & VERSES

MAIN CANON. Exclusive with @actliving. Sterling falls for his idol, one Marcus Barnum, and never stops falling. Canon is connected with the larger Markiplier Cinematic Universe & directly follows into @jumpinagain.

ROARING CANON. Sterling never meets the Actor, and the curse never falls on him, leaving him free to adventure in any direction he chooses. Set in the year 1925 by default, but this can be adjusted at request.

MODERN VERSE. You already know what it is. Comes in several flavors, including but not limited to college era theatre major, professional set designer, and aspiring documentarian.

ENTITY VERSE. Exclusive with @actliving. Sterling survives. Or, the Dark finds its host before the events of WKM.

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS VERSE. Exclusive with @actliving, @the-actor-himself, & @splittinghares.

& MORE TBA. For now, I am only listing fully developed verses I anticipate interest for. But one of my absolute favorite things about writing is putting my characters into new situations and verses, so please do make suggestions, no matter how odd or obscure. I would love to hear it!

#🎞️ — navigation.

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starpros-sunshine · 8 months ago

Note

First of all, dear ESMail blog I am so sorry this has nothing to do with you this is purely adressung anons points about the war and Eichi.

But uhm acturall☝️🤓

The one who had the initial idea for the war was Keito. Tsumugi was very much on board. He did not think they were doing anything that didn't need to be done. Tsumugi never attempted to pull out of the war, Keito never did either, Eichi almost did and then Wataru had to stop him and tell him to go through with it I can not stress this enough that Wataru was the reason Eichi almost ended the war and that he then had to be told by the aforementioned to go throigh with it. Wataru was also very much on board with the thing.

Moving on to point two. No he did not form the eccentrics just to disband them for the hell of it that was a systematic strategy so the students would have a scapegoat to project all their hatred onto so that the student council could swoop back in and save the overall student morale which was, to say it frankly, bordering on nonexistent at that point because most of them didn't really bother with being an idol since yumenosaki is a school name that could almost guarantee you a place in the industry. The whole point of the war was to do away with that and for that they picked the five best students and had them go against the student council to show the student body that even the normal people among them could someday be as good or even better than the best of the best. This might sound worse than "they were just created on a whim to be disbanded later again" but it was more than just that.

The others skipping classes or anything has nothing to do with their placement in the Eccentric unit it's based solely on their frankly overqualified for the job status and the fact that some of them have record breaking scores on the entrance exam. (Not to mention that the only eccentrics really against the whole thing were Natsume and Shu. Rei and Kanata saw the purpose of the thing and saw why it had to be done and Wataru saw the purpose and fully supported it.)

And finally "He killed so many students" this is a 17 year old. The death of those students is in no way his fault I can't even believe that's an argument it's not like he pushed them off of that roof himself??? ''killing" implies an intent there was no intent nobody went into that endeavour saying "well if they can't keep up under the stress they should just kill themselves not like I care" nobody in their right mind would ever???? Sure it's tragic and such a shame but why are we blaming Eichi for what other people did to themselves? And if we're pulling that lever then let's not leave Tsumugi and Keito out of the equation there either all of them get condemed as horrible mass murderers or none of them do. And none of them should be because that's not how murder works.

And lest I forget to correct you on the remorse bit. Eichi was literally prepared to die a slow and painful death in that hospital after the was was over the man was fully prepared to take himself out of the equation his purpose was fulfilled he ruined a lot of lives and there's nothing he can do to stone for his sins to the least he could do is die a slow and painful and miserable death alone where nobody would ever come to see him anyways. Except for Wataru. Because guess who showed up there and gave him a new purpose in life after the war was over guess who showed up there and set the stone into the motion that would lead to the ! Era main story guess who was there when nobody else was. That's right Hibiki Wataru because he had just left the greatest stage anyone had ever provided him with for the greatest performance of his life and I can not stress this enough he genuinely liked Eichi after that because because of the war he now had new friends who he would've never met before with the eccentrics and he had the finest role he had thus far played and in Eichi he also found an interesting companion and if you've ever read blackbird would wouls understand better what I'm talking about because I am really bad at explaining.

But understanding that Wataru genuinely likes Eichi for Eichi as a person is so important to understanding their entire relationship. The atrocities are part of the charme and he's decided they're funny. He could fix him but whatever is going on with him right now is so much funnier. Wataru is Just as unhinged in his ways as Eichi none of them are normal people. Eichi hates himself so much that in EP:Link Wataru was worried he'd also jump off that roof. Eichi was always so convinced Wataru was going to leave him and Wataru was desperately trying to show him that that would not be the case because he loves him and wants to stay with him. They're both equally smitten with each other in entirely the same way they would not be where they are today without the war and let's be honest all of them are in a better place now because of the war and what it did for the eccentrics as people. Shu and Natsume may still hold grudges, natsume mostly because if what Eichi did to his friends, but Rei is over it, Kanata is kind of grateful for it even because it pulled him towards humanity and Wataru is also. Oh he is so happy where he is at his current point in life he has his unit that he loves very dearly he has his friends he can pursue his career in theater and still be an idol and also he has a boyfriend that is willing to buy him the whole world if he only so asked of anything Wataru is the true winner in the whole ordeal really.

Okay ramble over I need to be punctual to places but yeah those were my 200 cents I just think it does the whole story such a disservice if you doesn't look at the whole picture is all okay byeee.

Dear Wataru

how do you not hate Eichi? First off, he was extremely controlling towards Tsumugi and Keito, Second off, he made the Eccentrics (thats included YOU in it) only just to disband them? And not to mention he didnt do anything to you, you didnt skip classes like the other eccentrics and that’s partially the reason why the eccentrics were made and yet Eichi still put you in the Eccentrics? Finally, Eichi killed many students, like what ✨anon said (they wrote a letter to Natsume about this), those students had hopes, dreams, friends and familes yet you dont hate him after all he’s done?

sure he feels remorse but it cant bring those students back or what the eccentrics think of him

Best Regards, ‼️anon

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dilucids · 3 years ago

Text

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCelebrity crush, Genshin boys idol! au

admitting you're their celebrity crush and their reaction to your reaction

includes: kaeya, diluc, zhongli and xiao

( can't stop thinking about idol! au genshin. any type of celebrity but it's hinted that you're a singer in xiao's. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 KAEYA ALBERICH ━━ FROSTWIND SWORDSMAN 〕

━━ this man is sooooo fucking slick with it.

━━ he'll slyly bring it up in an interview or a live with a smirk on his face and then act as if it never happened when someone questions him.

━━ his members just stares at him when he brings you up, knowing, that beneath that sly persona and nonchalant act, there was millions pounds worth of fan merchandise in his room.

━━ he would evade the subject and if it's an interview, the host would have to pry answers from his members instead as he sits there proudly with a smile on his face as his members tell his fan behaviour instead of him.

━━ in a live, he would somehow convince his fans they were hallucinating but someone would post the clip and everyone would just go ballistic, it'd be one of those "top ten things i can't believe kaeya managed to get away with: gaslighting his fans into believing they were crazy."

"Who's your favourite celebrity?" Kaeya reads out from the comments passing quickly through his Instagram live, he pretends to think. A smile forms on his face when he 'decides' on an answer, "probably [Name]."

He watches the comments speed through even quicker before changing the subject, dropping the matter as if it never happened. His fans are all freaking out though, wanting to get more details on his crush on the celebrity but Kaeya ignores all comments about the subject. They never die down though, only ending when Kaeya himself ends the live.

━━ you may have ended on the same show some time after him and the host brings it up ( 100% planned for views ).

━━ it makes you smile because you've already been informed about this topic by your fans and kaeya's.

━━ you'd end up thanking kaeya for the support and say that you've also been lowkey a fan of his group but you've never openly stated that to anyone.

━━ his fans and your fans immediately get to work and start tagging kaeya's insta/twitter, group and personal, under the clip of you shyly admitting you're a fan of his also and he goes mental.

━━ probably sits there watching the entire interview with a huge smile on his face, and it doesn't leave, not even after he finishes the interview ( bonus: diluc is very disturbed ).

━━ HUGE ego boost for the rest of the day. kaeya's normally very confident but he's extra confident, like starts strutting around like he's the shit and even had the balls to nod his head at diluc as if to say "what's up" with the largest shit eating grin on his face.

━━ diluc definitely thought he was picking a fight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 DILUC RAGNVINDR ━━ DARKNIGHT HERO 〕

━━ more likely to come from one of his members than him.

━━ or he'd be very smooth with it, and brings it up rather subtly. it'd be a small "oh, i ingest their content and enjoy it" and he'd just continue about his day

━━ and his fans will still go insane because diluc actually enjoying something seems weird, especially another celebrity's work

━━ this would obviously reach you, who was an open fan of his group, and you'd freak out when you see it but wouldn't bring it up because he only said he enjoyed your work, not he was a fan.

━━ would definitely get questioned if he was being interviewed on a talk show, he wouldn't evade the question.

━━ he doesn't really see a point in lying, so he simply shrugs and tells the host that he is a fan and owns some merchandise.

"Diluc, a few fans are curious about your statement the other day," the host redirects the questions to Diluc, who raises an eyebrow. "Is it true that you're a fan of [Name]?"

The question makes his heart pick up a little, he leans back on his chair and clears his throat, composing himself before nodding. "I am a fan," the host seems happy by his response. The conversation continues to steer in this direction, asking Diluc if he had attended any fan meetings or merchandise, how he would feel if you two collaborated for a project and then finally ending once the host asks other members if they were fans of anyone.

━━ he thinks nothing of it, continuing with his day as usual but when he gets mentioned by your twitter? the man loses his shit.

━━ he sits there staring at his screen like he was hallucinating and literally tunes everything else out, staring at your little: "i'd love to work with you too!" message with a small smiley face at the end.

━━ he checks the account multiple times just in case it was one of his fans trolling him but clicking on the @ takes him back to your account so he gives in at some point

━━ he types out a normal, professional "thank you, i hope a time comes when we can collaborate" and "i look forward to more of your works" but he's still losing his shit.

━━ stays in his mind for at least a week.

━━ fans always bring up the fact that y'all never did end up collaborating.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 ZHONGLI ━━ VAGO MUNDO 〕

━━ the public is very aware.

━━ he's never made an attempt to hide how he is a fan, not even the massive poster in his room or the little keychain that he hangs on his bag nor the red eyeliner belonging to a makeup brand that you became a brand embassador for, also now one of his favourite brands.

━━ so no one is really surprised when he talks about you or your upcoming work, what is kinda surprising is when he straight up says that he says you're his ideal type.

━━ not because it's shocking that you'd be anyone's ideal type but because they didn't expect the out of the blue question from host and it's even more mind boggling when the man doesn't even stutter nor even think before just saying your name.

━━ members are sat beside him literally losing their shit in both negative ( scandals and shit ) and positive ( it's fucking hilarious ) ways as he just blinks.

━━ he doesn't even look the slightest bit worried as he stares dead straight through the host's head.

━━ obviously scandals emerge, there are positive and negative reactions. some people suddenly realise how good you two would look together and others are mad you "stole" their man because we have delulus in all fandoms.

"So Zhongli," the host starts before clearing his throat, obviously a tad uncomfortable under the eldest member's sudden gaze, "who is your ideal type?" The members also seem curious, as they stop their interactions, staring over at their unusually emotionless member.

One member laughs, waving the question off as a joke and as a way to avoid any possible scandals, knowing that Zhongli wouldn't filter his words due to his lacking understanding of social cues. "C'mon, there's no way that he has an id━━"

"If I had to say, then [Name] suits my preferences." The member who tried to wave it off blinks, staring at Zhongli like he just murdered someone and other members laugh. The host seems pleasantly surprised, peering at the camera with a raised eyebrow and a certain look on his face. The entire studio never gets over it.

━━ it's brought to your attention on twitter because twitter is usually where shit goes down.

━━ you've always been aware that zhongli has been a fan but you've never been able to speak up about it due to your management.

━━ luckily for you, your contract with your previous strict company had ended just a while ago and under your new management, you were more free to do whatever you wanted.

━━ so obviously, you quote tweet the video, tag his account and say in a jokingly way that he should take you out on a date first.

━━ he doesn't publicly reply to your tweet because he already got in trouble with his management for answering such a risky question anyways and your tweet is a little too suggestive.

━━ but he also wants you to know he has seen the tweet. so his solution? to slip into your dms.

━━ and all of a sudden, the next time you're both seen together, you're besties? so people started connecting dots and shit, were they good at connecting them. moral of the story: never underestimate zhongli fans because collectively, they may be able to beat zhongli in an iq test.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 XIAO ━━ CONQUEROR OF DEMONS 〕

━━ best believe this man got death threated or held at gunpoint into admitting you're his celebrity crush.

━━ or he didn't do it at all and his members confessed for him just to tease him.

━━ happens on a group live, members are just vibing.

━━ xiao is sat in the back somewhere, scrolling through his phone with his earphones in so he doesn't notice his members shifting the camera to him or jumps onto him whilst holding the camera.

━━ when he does notice though, he takes out his earbud and your song just blARES through his earphone and it's fucking loud.

━━ he immediately turns it down but his fellow member already has this shit eating grin on his face and jumps onto xiao, successfully grabbing his phone and showing the live of 100k+ people.

━━ his homescreen is one of those "boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material" lockscreens of you and it shows that your song had been playing.

━━ xiao literally attacks his members and grabs his phone back, walking off to escape the embarrassment but can hear the echoing laughter as he walks down the hallway and slams his door closed.

Xiao lets out a sudden 'oompf' when his members glomps right ontop of him, grinning widely as they held up a camera to show off themselves and Xiao. Glancing at the camera, Xiao takes off an earbud, freezing when a loud upbeat tune echoes throughout the open area. Xiao ignores the feeling of his face heating up and turns down the song, ignoring the obvious gleeful stare of his member.

Almost on instinct, he moves his phone away but curse his parents for their genes because all it takes is a little stretching for his member to have his greasy fingers all over his phone, ripping it out of his hands and immediately running away to shield themselves from the wrath of all 5" and a bit of Xiao. When they deem it safe, they click on the home button of the screen, grinning amused at the homescreen.

"Look at fanboy Xiao!" And just like that, Xiao's cold demeanour had been shatteres infront of a plethora of people.

━━ you find it one of the most endearing things ever.

━━ literally how could you not? you find pride in yourself to have such a popular member of an idol group enjoy your work and it helps gain a little more confidence in yourself.

━━ it's brought up on a talk show kinda casually where the host is one of your friends so they are slightly teasing you for it all the whilst remaining on the professional side.

━━ and it's obvious to say that you're embarrassed by the way you chuckle and mess with your fingers and hair, but you hold yourself together anyways and manage a sweet "thank you for the support" to xiao when the host asks if you wanted to say something in case he was watching.

━━ and the very next day, on xiao's official instagram, he has a signed album and poster of yours, tagged and everything.

#genshin scenarios #genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x reader #genshin xiao #genshin kaeya #genshin zhongli #genshin diluc #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader

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into-september · 2 years ago

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AND THEN FINALLY I SAW -

If S5 is going to have Adrien realise his feelings for Marinette because the S4 bs “made him realise Ladybug’s not perfect” then I’m sorry but

DO YOU REALISE

THAT YOU SPENT THREE SEASONS

TELLING A STORY

WHERE ADRIEN REPEATEDLY FACED DISAPPOINTMENT IN LADYBUG

WHERE HE SAW HER AT HER LOWEST

WHERE HE QUESTIONED HER DECISIONS

WHERE HE WAS ANGRY WITH HER

WHERE SHE WASN’T, IN FACT, EVERTHING HE COULD DREAM OF

AND HE STILL THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS PERFECT?

if you’re going to try and tell me

that “Kuro Neko”

was the breaking point that made him fall out of love with her

after all the rest of it

that the boy who from the very beginning

thought that she was perfect in all her imperfections

fell out of love with her over that

do you realise

how much of the appeal is that he loves her imperfection

that he knows that people are fallible

that Ladybug is, too

because the boy whose life is a public performance of perfection

knows better than anyone

that perfection doesn’t exist

do you realise

how much of the appeal was the contrast

to the girl who swooned over his fabricated images

covered her room in professionally photoshopped pictures of him

from the performance that made him miserable

that projects to the world an image that does not correspond

to the real self he never tries to hide

the girl who fell in love with that sincerity

but in her love failed to tell the difference between what is real and what is factitious

and so she is blind to his imperfections

unlike him, who saw her real and imperfect self

do you realise

that your story was always for her to realise

for her to learn to see past the image

for her to recognise him

not the teen idol not the model not the son of her idol not the boy in the ads not the classmate whose fabulous life she needed a hundred and three episodes to realise he didn’t find fabulous at all

not even the super hero, who she always saw clearer anyway

do you really mean to tell me that your moral will be

that this boy’s love could not survive disappointment

that friendship survived partnership survived loyalty survived

but love didn’t

because the boy who is a prisoner to his father’s demand for perfection

couldn’t love that

which refused to be what he wished it would be?

nota bene I belong to the “Adrien’s been in love with Marinette all along and just never realised” club, and YOU KNOW. Have him give up on Ladybug ever returning his feelings, have him pursue Marinette for the same reason he did Kagami - lovely! Carry on, throw a party! But have him fall out of love with Ladybug because she had other friends than him?

#'he was never in love with the real ladybug he was in love with her ability to soothe his abandonment issues'#because THAT was the disappointment in Kuro Neko #anyone dating that boy will have their work cut out for them #yeah yeah 'love doesn't have to be romantic friendship is equally important'#i'm sorry but i can't do anything about the deficiencies of the english language #and you KNOW what i meant #miraculous ladybug #love square #mlb meta #in a needlessly lyrical form #sorry #ladrien #ladynoir #blah

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miraculouscontent · 3 years ago

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ravens-and-ink submitted:

You know, if you think about it, Adrien as Shadow Moth’s assistant works in MANY ways and all of them would be more interested than as this “PeRFeCt SUnShInE” boy.

Imagine if Gabriel was a tragic villain (come on, his motivation is similar to Mr. Freeze’s already anyway), a man who is blind by how much he loves his wife, perhaps he even shows a few morals/lines he won’t cross to make him more complex (Hell, even if you keep Gabriel the way he is, the potential for the idea remains, but I digress).

Then, there is Adrien… Maybe he is a tragic villain as well, torn between his love for his family and his morals. Maybe he is being manipulated by his father (classic)…

Or you can go for the extreme of Adrien being the real villain. Oh, he might want his mother back, but the fact remains he has literally ZERO care for the people who get hurt in the process (-looks at Syren- uh…), he feels entitled to Ladybug (he already does, but you know what I mean), he thinks more of how to use the situation for his own gain than how to help others (being a hero is even more a game for him in this situation, a way to get the adoration he feels he rightfully deserves)… Hell, maybe he even manipulates his own father through his grief!!! Even then, you can either go for the “kid never learned empathy, but there is still hope for him” or “kid is a sociopath, if not a complete psychopath”!

I think it would be way more interesting, especially if the show had more than two brain cells (that wouldn’t be too busy kissing Adrien’s… Feet, to work) and knew how to use this sort of villain!

In part, I’m happy the show didn’t use this, as I’m sure Astruc is so in love with Adrien (aka, his idealized version of himself who deserves the world for the amazing feat of existing) that he would find a way to twist the narrative so Adrien would still come off as the “poor, sad little thing who should be idolized and protected without doing anything for anyone” that he is in canon (and there would be even more victim-blaming and even romanticizing abuse), but the general idea and its potential are still there. You can create a whole new story and characters if you want with this concept.

In the hands of someone talented (looks at Clarity), someone who KNOWS how to write a good story (points at Clarity), how to deal with characters and plot (places a neon sign above Clarity) this would be gold!

djhhgjkfdjgfdg why thank you~

Yeah, it could’ve been really interesting, and yet this is what we have.

Astruc would’ve definitely tried to excuse away his actions. He just wanted his mother back and the love of Ladybug, and he was so torn on which one he wanted more.

#submission #category: salt #salt: adrien agreste #salt: chat noir #other: ask and answer #category: idea discussion

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kings-paintbrush · 10 months ago

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Part 3. (Thanks again to everyone for being so invested! The drawing of Andromeda has taken me 8 hours so far and I’ve never painted with such bold colors, I hope you like the WIP)

so I genuinely can’t remember how the thanos fight goes in Infinity war, and I don’t wanna sob over the movie again to find out B)

anyways. I’m out cold. And in the chaos of the fight, whoever’s around me thinks I’m dead. Thanos snaps. And nobody realizes it but— I get dusted (I’m not dead sorry to break it to ya)

Wanda tries her best during the blip, in my DR it’s only 3 years (bc initially I was gonna be alive during it, if anyone wants to hear that story, it’s a lot better thought out). But she has Pietro still… and Vision. (that fucking toaster I hate him sm and so does Pietro) but they fall in “love” or something blah blah blah screw him.

so again haven’t seen endgame in a while don’t ask me how any of this works. But, on Vormir, it’s Natasha, Clint, and Pietro. Clint and Nat still have their fight thing and Nat ends up jumping, but Pietro catches her. But not before she hits her head. (Coma! Oh no!)

Someway somehow Vision still dies. And then Tony snaps (and dies still, BUT GUYS DW my friend @aceditwrites is in my dr and they can talk to ghosts or something)

and. I come back. Also my scar is hella cool so take this really cool drawing to celebrate

Also tie in song bc yes: https://open.spotify.com/track/3zyDQeTrptB1etZyRCpOLX?si=g8BhuBkfR0q1q2X1gH_PWQ

I kind of get settled. I’m sort of stuck being the “main avenger”. Keeping the world in check, keeping hopes high, all that stuff. (In my original idea, I didn’t blip but andromeda did, and I still had my scar & went thru a harrowing depression.) but the thing is, after the snap back its like Wanda just… disappeared. As of my knowledge she’s still my girlfriend, the love of my life. Wandavision happens still… I’m DEFINITELY in it bc I LOVE sitcoms (full house especially). I’m in my “morally grey” era bc I actually help Wanda keep the Hex stable (without her knowing and foiling some of Agatha’s plans) there’s 2 episodes per decade, and a Christmas special bc we deserved one, it’s maybe like a Christmas in July special) the BIGGEST issue is like… the kids. At this point I’m like 18 maybe idk I haven’t kept track of my age. I DONT WANT NO DAMN KIDS. ❓QUESTION! Should I make vision’s human form half black in my dr since he’s made of Vibranium(Wakanda),,,❓ anyways while I avoid that, I’m not actively apart of Hawkeye’s plot but it still happens bc NATASHA IS STILL IN A COMA!! And Yelena met Pietro once and it impacted her. I love Kate Bishop sm but separate to this I’m gonna write ALL of my obscure headcanons… I have so many

so, you’re probably wandering… did me and Pietro’s civil war investigation

during the Blip, Pietro met his father. Magneto. He didn’t involve anyone else, especially not Wanda. She was grieving over me and barely wanted to use her powers at all.

ALSO ILL SCREAM THIS TO WHOEVER WILL LISTEN WANDA IDOLIZES NATASHA AND THATS WHY SHE DYED HER HAIR RED,,, NATASHA MENTORS HER GRR BARK GRR.

So. Multiverse of madness still happens, though HEAVILY rewritten. First of all WANDA ISNT A VILLAIN. She’s my wife. So, essentially, I take my round yknow? Changing nightmares to have happy endings, changing things around in dreams. You see, every time I enter a dream I open a door. It’s sort of like traveling in the nether in Minecraft, if you travel one block in the nether, that’s 8 blocks in the overworld. Everything is still it’s relative difference, so in order to save a child from their nightmare in, let’s say Florida, it’d still take a while to get from the New Yorker’s dreams to there, but not as long. But, every time I make a change, something’s different. I get booted to a new door. I wake up and go to the only person I think can help— Fury, but he’s Gone. I try to find Wanda but she ran away after Wandavision, I haven’t been able to find her in dreams, either. So. I’m stuck with. UGH “Doctor Strange”

So, I see Wong and he tells me the thing about how dreams are pathways into other realities… and that’s the start of the up climb of my powers. For the sake of simplicity, let’s say Wanda DOESNT have her kids in Wandavision. Me and America are BOTH trying to figure out her powers. And, WANDA IS THERE!! There’s a lot of… uncomfortable tension in the air. Bc yknow, I’m still in love with her but I had to sit through 2 weeks of a sitcom of her being in love with a RED HYPER ADVANCED KITCHEN APPLIANCE. But.. we reminisce, she still loves me. She’s never been the most comfortable in her sexuality (internalized homophobia) but shhh. So. As we travel the multiverse, in every single one the Wanda variant is happy. So. So happy. And that’s when Wanda sees her kids. We take a long stop in one universe, where we meet uh… THIS IS WHERE WE STOP!

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO DO, SCHOOL STARTED ON WEDNESDAY FOR ME AND THE DAYS HAVE BEEN SO SHORT BUT I HOPE U ALL LIKE IT!! I’LL UPDATE ON WEEKENDS! Maybe one or two more parts left I SWEAR. But again Ty all for being so invested in my dr!!

@romanoffshifting @snowdecahdrn @shitty-shifty-shiftblr-blog

@aceditwrites @achilleslefttoe

@thebetterloki (hope ur ok with being tagged!!!)

PLEASE

I NEED SOMEONE TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT MY MCU DR ITS SO COOL

#king's paintbrush

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enigmatist17 · 3 years ago

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That Smile (Psychonauts 2)

PSYCHONAUTS 2 SPOILERS AHEAD I played the sequel on launch and have fallen in love with this series all over again, and Raz is still my baby <3 Anyways I may or may not have forgotten to post this, so have at it lol

-----------------------

Agent Sasha Nein was a lot of things, the brilliant scientist who danced around his morally questionable experiments. While many children idolized him from True Psychic Tales, the man was hardly ever approached when a child did actually meet him. The stories never captured his short demeanor, empty smirk when he would casually mention tossing children to a test in his mind, or lab that seemed like it held a lot of dark secrets.

Razputin Aquato was the first one to come back.

The child had caused a stir from the moment he had snuck into Whispering Rock, and after inviting him Sasha had expected the child never to return. Yet Sasha was surprised when he came back from Agent Cruller with his badge, grinning while bouncing in front of the brain tumbler. Raz had proved himself to be among the best students Sasha had ever trained, and it wasn’t until the whirlwind of not only knocking Oleandar back to his sense, and subsequently rescuing Grand Head Zanotto that Sasha had time to think about Raz.

The scientist had never been one for children, as strange as it was for him to be working at Whispering Rock during the summer was. He was more content with his test tubes, blinking consoles, and many experiments that would usually raise eyebrows of those on the ethically moral side of the community. Yet Raz had wormed his way into Sasha’s mind with ease, something that surprised the doctor.

Perhaps that’s why he was currently trying, for the first time in...ever, not to lash out at the newest interns and Raz’s family.

It had been a long day of questioning Loboto, and Sasha had originally set out for some fresh coffee at the lovely time of 2 am. The Motherlobe was quiet around this time, which suited the other just fine as he made his way down familiar hallways. Talking to anyone who wasn’t the few people who didn’t irritate Sasha was hard enough on his good days, doing so after failing time and time again with prying out Loboto’s secret would usually be enough to make him shunt people across the room. However, seeing a tired Raz sitting against a wall across from the intern’s sleeping quarters made him pause and approach the half-awake child.

“Razputin? What on earth are you doing outside this late at night?” Raz’s eyes shot open, and instead of the usual cherry and awkward explanations Sasha was accustomed to, Raz just sighed.

“I, uh, I got locked out.” The agent frowned, knowing that part of it was most likely still a hazing from the other interns that Sasha most normally would have ignored. Yet Raz had his family nearby, and this puzzled Sasha as he knelt down beside the child. Raz, after looking into those green goggles, seemed to have sensed what Sasha was going to ask because he just gave a shake of his head. It made sense, Raz probably was not expecting more of his family to come and see their son at the place he had escaped to, which probably added to the stress that radiated off of him in waves. Normally, Sasha would just give a strained pat on the head and quickly escape such a situation, but this time Sasha leaned forward and scooped the child up and into his arms. It wasn’t smooth, Raz jerked his head right up into Sasha’s jaw, and this nearly caused the scientist to fall back, but after adjusting his hold and standing up fully that the two just kind of...looked at each other. Raz looked so confused, suspicious, and exhausted, studying Sasha’s blank face for some sort of response to what he had just done.

“I’m going to get some coffee, and then return to my lab.” Sasha remains neutral as he starts carrying Raz down the hallway, merely adjusting his hold when the child slumps against him moments later. He’s asleep by the time Sasha finishes making his coffee in the cafeteria, letting out soft snores one has to strain their ears to hear if they weren’t a trained agent like the scientist. Sasha watches Raz silently, wondering why this child among the many he had trained over the years had made the agent care for them and their wellbeing. Was it the boundless optimism? The excitement of being allowed to earn a place as an agent? Or was it as simple as Sasha shared so much with Raz, and for once Sasha was branching out to trust and care for the other? It could be one of those things, it could be all of them. No matter the answer, the scientist didn’t much care as he carried Raz to his room to sleep, knowing full well of the interns watching with wide eyes. Raz was gone the next morning before Sasha could speak to him, and he didn’t seek the other out due to his own work.

It’s not until days later after Ford Cruller and the Psychic 6 (or rather 7, not that it mattered) had reunited to help defeat Maligula, did Sasha and Raz have the time. Sasha and Vodello were quietly sitting together on one of the balcony’s overlooking the mountains when the familiar shape of Raz’s balloon interrupted the view. Vodello held her free arm out to Raz, who wordlessly padded over to the agents and allowed himself to be set between them. For a while the three just sat together, watching the sun slowly inch its way down below the mountain line, Raz leaning against Milla while his legs were tucked up under his chin. At one point Sasha had shed his lab coat and draped it over Raz, wild red hair poking out being the only indication someone was underneath the cloth. Vodello was the next to carry Raz inside and to bed, Sasha watching Raz before taking up the couch to sleep that night. Call it sentimentality or intuition, he wasn’t surprised to feel Raz carefully join him on the couch, a quiet sniffle making Sasha gently put his arm over Raz and tuck him close.

“Thanks…” It’s such a quiet and strained voice, and Sasha feels his heart break for the first time in years.

“Sleep Razputin, we will work through this in time.” He can’t promise such a thing, he knows this, but right now he needs to be gentle, so he says them. Raz sniffles against before slowly falling still, and finally sleeps properly for the first time since he stepped foot in Whispering Rock. Sasha eventually sleeps as well, dreaming of future skills to teach Raz and how on earth he was going to break the news to Vodello.

Her quiet laugh in their mental link follows Sasha to sleep, and Sasha smiles to himself as he’s pulled into a pleasant dream.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #mha spoilers #PN2 spoilers #I just love them???#Raz was my first video game child #and I still love him??? so much???

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thegreymoon · 3 years ago

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Broker

God, I love her 🤣🤣

The best advice! She’s my idol!

***

Oh my God, please be the second love interest for her and not her idiotic sister 😭😭

He’s a hilarious dork and I like him a lot, but the idiot sister ruins all good things.

***

LYX who?? Because, god, she’s beautiful and I’m in love with this outfit 😭😭

(Sorry, LYX, baby, I still love you, but HYX will be your time to shine and be the prettiest in any given room!)

***

LMAO, these are the pettiest, most toxic people 🤣🤣

She’s having afternoon tea!! HOW DARE!! 😱😱

Anyway, no wonder this show got itself endlessly cut and delayed. There they are, with the premise of how Chinese labs are just as good and even better than the Western ones, and then they dumped their lead character in a workplace that is just as toxic and as corrupt, but the harassment this time is of the domestic variety. I can’t imagine the censorship board was too pleased.

***

They deliberately did not tell her about the important meeting, smh 😠 Can’t wait to see them all eventually get fired.

***

God, I want QJN to grab that imbecile of a secretary by the hair and slam her stupid face into the table. This show is making me feel an unhealthy amount of rage.

***

I love him so much 😭😭

I mean, I realise he has ulterior motives but he is still the only one looking out for her in this vipers’ nest.

***

THEY ARE KILLING MEEEEEE 😭😭

***

I WILL CELEBRATE WHEN YOU ASSHOLES GET FIRED/REPRIMANDED/DEMOTED 😡😡😡

Who else is watching this show????? PLEASE COME AND SCREAM WITH ME!!

***

Oh, baby 😢

Do you need help disposing of the bodies of your enemies? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE FREE TIME AND GET MY HANDS ON A SHOVEL 🤬🤬

***

So, what prevented her ridiculous sister from calling her back to tell her that she needs an invitation when she hung up too fast on her? Or, idk, texting her, like a normal person would do?

No love for nonsense.

***

Ooh, looks like Su Qian is going to get into trouble sooner than I thought! 😋

***

LMAO, shut the fuck up, bitch.

I can’t believe she brought out her stupid sob story as validation for bullying and literally sabotaging a colleague in order to cover up falsifying information for her own personal gain.

***

Oh, you can shut up too.

How was your little interrogation in any way relevant to this situation? And if you must know, yes, you are wrong. Yes, you may have your reasons that make lying, stealing and manipulating honest people worth it to you, but just because the end justifies the means for you, that does not make it right.

***

Tell him, Queen!

Here, you dropped your crown while shutting down the bs 👑

***

Careful, cutie, your mental instability and questionable morality are showing 🙄

Nobody was holding a gun to anyone’s head, they falsified data for their own material benefit, wtf. Also, nobody held a gun to their head to force them to alienate a new colleague and create a hostile working environment for her. Also, Jianing is right. She can understand why she did it, but that doesn’t mean that she should let her get away with it.

***

OK, so my attraction to him is dead in the water. Stick to the mentally unstable sociopath, Jianing!

The idiot sister remains disgusting, though. Filming someone in a compromising situation without their knowledge and consent to post and mock them online is absolutely repulsive and should be very much illegal. The least she deserves for this is to get fired and blacklisted.

***

The fact that we are supposed to read her as ~cute~ and ~fun~ and ~quirky~ while this repulsive violation of privacy is played off for laughs is beyond disgusting.

This show is lucky the main storyline is not just watchable but actually good, or I would send it straight to the bin.

***

Bye, asshole.

Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

***

Oh, well, you will certainly be well matched!

There is so much academic misconduct that you can get up to together!

***

LMAO, I very much doubt she will be losing any sleep over shutting the likes of you down.

Go fuck yourself.

***

I can’t stand this spoiled, repulsive brat who has never faced a single consequence in her entire privileged life.

***

LMAOOO, they are making his spying so easy for him 🤣🤣

#luo yunxi #victoria song #broker #broker spoilers #broker ep03 #broker ep04

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wooyunhwa · 4 years ago

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devil’s advocate | yunsan

view pinned post for my masterlist!

Genre: smut

Pairing: demon!san x angel!yunho

Word Count: 6.6k

Warnings: mostly pwp, idol/idol pairings, oral, fingering, barebacking, biting/blood drinking, kind of infidelity? although no one is actually dating anyone this whole fic is just a mess of love triangles everywhere but keep that in mind

Synopsis: Yunho summons San for a chat while Y/N is asleep, but he soon discovers that old habits die hard.

A/N: Here it is, the semi canon yunsan slash fic I’ve been talking about! If you haven’t read my kingdom series some of this may be confusing to you, since the characters and interactions are based on that fic, but the smut can be enjoyed on its own I think! This story happens somewhere in the middle of my fic, while San is still a demon and Yunho is still watching after Y/N. This is canon if you want it to be, and not canon if you don’t! Enjoy~

Y/N had nodded off while studying with her headphones in, as usual. Yunho decided to let her be, not daring to interrupt her sleep by rousing her to take off her headphones or move her to a more comfortable position. She always slept better when listening to something anyway, he noticed.

Yunho could have left. He could have gone home—he even could have used the opportunity to get a good night’s sleep, take advantage of his human body that was constantly threatening him with the need to dream. It was so unfamiliar to him.

But as Yunho prepared to leave, a peculiar post-it, pinned precariously above Y/N’s desk, caught his eye. He knew it was San’s calling card, or at least he could guess as much by the Latin scribblings. He froze for a moment, his limbs feeling like lead as his body moved him towards the post-it note. It was a bad idea, he knew it, but his body was pulling him forward before any sense of reason or logic could catch up.

As an angel, he couldn’t summon San even if he wanted to, calling card or not. But as a temporary human, he was free to do what he wished with San—with a curious loophole. As an angel, even in his human body, he didn’t need a contract with San.

He exited the room quietly, shutting the door gingerly behind him. If he was going to have an opportunity to talk to San alone, now was probably the best—if not only—time he would have to do it. He stood in the middle of the living room facing the kitchen, bringing the post-it note up to recite San’s card carefully.

“Well this is an unexpected surprise,” San’s voice rang out from behind him. Yunho swiveled on his heels to see San poised neatly on the couch, looking as dark and devilish as ever. He ran his fingers through his hair, tousling it gently as his crimson gaze met Yunho’s. “The human’s place and yet… no human?”

“She’s asleep,” Yunho explained calmly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I thought we could talk.”

“Talk, hm?” San fiddled his lip ring in his fingers absently, dragging his lip down slightly as he pulled at it. “Hm… Is that liquor I smell on your innocent little angel breath, Yunho?” San asked with a smug smirk, but no question needed to be asked. Yunho smelled unmistakably like the glass of alcohol he’d had with Y/N earlier in the evening—an activity he wasn’t exactly used to yet. Alcohol was useless to an angel, but to his human form, it was liquid gold.

“I—it doesn’t matter…” Yunho started, heat pooling in his cheeks from San’s call out. He was embarrassed to have even given in to a drink in the first place. It was a bit sinful, as an angel.

San’s eyes gleamed mischievously as he gazed at Yunho up and down. “Don’t worry, Yunyun. I won’t tell.” He made a zipping motion with his fingers against his lips.

“Don’t call me that, San. I told you never to call me that again,” Yunho said through gritted teeth.

“What, are you just going to pretend forever?” San raised himself slowly from the couch, taking a step towards Yunho. “Pretend that we weren’t a thing?”

Yunho rolled his eyes. “A thing? Is that what you want to call it now?” He took a deep breath, collecting himself. San knew exactly which buttons of his to push—he always did. “I didn’t come here to talk about this, you know. I came here to talk about our situation.”

San quirked an eyebrow, eyes glazed over with an emotion Yunho couldn’t quite place. “What if I don’t want to talk?”

“No one said you have to say, San. You know I can’t contract you. You’re free to go if you want,” Yunho said, trying to seem as unbothered as possible. But the truth was, he was completely bothered by the idea of San leaving. Maybe it was the drink slightly rose-coloring his vision, but San looked… incredible.

He was lean, as always, his proportions immaculate—a statue of a demon, waist cinched in beautifully by a belt, then erupting into a dizzying display of broad shoulders. Yunho wiped his mouth subconsciously, swiping away the drool that had somehow collected at the corners of his lips. His time with San was a distant memory, but one that, at this moment, he desperately wanted to experience again. If only once.

Something Yunho didn’t know about alcohol—it made him horny. He’d only had one small glass, and yet he felt himself growing harder by the minute, especially when standing right in front of San like this. He wondered if San noticed. Yunho wouldn’t call himself gay, not in the slightest. But he always had a soft spot for San. Maybe that was why, now, he couldn’t do anything but picture San naked underneath him.

He shook the thoughts from his head, coming back into reality when San took another step forward. Yunho stumbled back slightly.

“That’s fine. I’d like to stay. Been a while since we got some time to talk alone, wouldn’t you say, Yunyun?” The nickname poured off San’s tongue with so much power, so much conviction. Yunho knew he was toying with him, but a part of him welcomed it.

“San, I don’t have time for—”

“For what, hmm? A little alone time with your ex-lover?” San flashed his fangs, and Yunho stumbled back until his back met the cold surface of the kitchen counter. “I have to admit, you look good. It’s too bad you don’t have your pretty little wings.”

He looked Yunho up and down with his blood-red eyes, gleaming impishly as he noticed Yunho’s nervous disposition. Yunho could barely hide the way he was squirming now, feet shuffling against the floor, not quite sure where to put his hands. He crossed his legs slightly to conceal his boner, but he knew San had already seen it by the look in his eye as his gaze moved downwards.

“I knew you still had a soft spot for me, Yunho. Or maybe a hard spot…” He took one more step forward, pinning Yunho with his hands, trapping him against the marble countertop. “Feeling flustered by me, angel boy? Cute.”

Yunho scoffed, shoving San off him. “I’m not playing your games, San. I know you.”

San clicked his teeth against his fangs, then drew his tongue across his lip annoyedly. “You’re no fun. I was just playing around.”

As much as Yunho hated to admit it, and how much he knew that San was just toying with him for fun, he had a point. Yunho was completely flustered—San was irresistible to him in every way, especially now. Yunho’s boner throbbed against the crotch of his pants, the discomfort compounding by the second as he watched San’s every move.

“So, were we gonna talk?” San asked, elbow leaning against the counter next to Yunho. “Or are you just gonna keep checking me out?”

Yunho remembered why he’d originally brought San here—to talk. But he couldn’t quite remember what about, or why, or even think about anything but San looking like that. “I—uh… uh, yeah. Talk. We should do that.”

San let out a cheeky laugh, lips curling up into his familiar smirk, a flash of fangs and charming dimples. “You don’t sound very convinced of that, angel boy.”

Yunho’s eyes trained on San’s lips. He had a one track mind now—and his dick was right with him. He couldn’t believe he was even considering coming on to San like this, in Y/N’s apartment with her sleeping just a wall away. He wasn’t really worried about waking her, since she fell asleep with her headphones in, but it still felt morally wrong. He wasn’t in the mood to think about morals, though, to his surprise—considering he was an angel of the highest moral compass. Or so his coworkers would say. He was never one to break an angel code. Thankfully for him, there was nothing in angel code against human-him kissing his demon ex-lover in his assignment’s apartment. At least, he was pretty sure there wasn’t.

Yunho’s lips came down on San’s before he had even a minute more to rationalize with himself. He pulled his body around San’s, this time pinning him like he’d pinned Yunho minutes before. San moaned in surprise against his mouth, pausing for a minute at Yunho’s sudden initiation before reciprocating the kiss against him.

San slowly peeled himself away from the kiss. “Mm, I know I was teasing you earlier, but I didn’t expect you to actually kiss me, Yunyun.”

Yunho furrowed his brows. “Do you not… want me to?”

San’s eyes glazed with lust, biting his lip as he drew his gaze up and down Yunho’s face, lingering just a bit too long on his lips. “Of course I’m not gonna say no to a pretty angel boy like you,” he purred, pulling back into Yunho’s lips hungrily.

Yunho fisted one hand in San’s hair, the other grasped firmly over his bicep, digging in with his nails. San growled low in his throat at the sensation of Yunho’s nails digging deeper, and Yunho pressed harder against San’s chest, pushing his back further against the cold countertop.

“I’ll never get used to the smell of demon,” Yunho muttered through heavy breaths between kisses.

“You don’t exactly taste heavenly to me either, angel boy. But you’re hot, so I’ll make an exception,” San quipped back, smirking against his lips.

Yunho’s cock ached in his jeans, and he ground himself up against San as they made out, which, if he was being honest, only made it worse. He wanted San naked, now. But he was also enjoying the pleasure as San’s tongue dipped into his mouth. San’s demon taste, admittedly, wasn’t Yunho’s favorite. But he was too consumed with desire to care—right now he tasted as heavenly as any angel.

Yunho brought his hand down to palm San’s cock through his pants, noting it was just as hard as his was. San grunted and sighed against his lips, melting like putty in his hands. Something about the way he could reduce San to a moaning mess with just a touch brought a rush of power through Yunho’s head, but San wouldn’t let him keep it.

San pushed Yunho off of him, guiding him to the couch and shoving him down by his shoulders with two strong hands. Yunho sank into the cushions, eyes widening as San planted himself in Yunho’s lap, straddling him with his legs on either side. Yunho watched as San’s crimson eyes grew dark, lustful as he found his way down on Yunho’s lap. San’s hands threaded through Yunho’s hair, gripping tight as his lips found their way back to the angel’s, more hungrily this time.

He ground his hips down against Yunho’s throbbing cock, still threatening to burst through his jeans at any moment. San ground mercilessly against him, eating up every needy whine that escaped the angel’s mouth.

“Angels, so pathetic,” San purred, lingering his fangs over Yunho’s neck threateningly. “Moaning little messes.”

Yunho couldn’t argue with that—he was a complete mess with San on top of him, giving him just enough to keep him aching for more. “You know, you smell like an angel, but I bet your blood tastes just as good as a human.”

San’s sharp fangs teeth pressed down slowly against Yunho’s taut flesh, not quite hard enough to pierce the surface tension of his skin. Yunho squirmed underneath him, bucking his hips up against San’s, and he could feel San’s mouth draw up into a satisfied smirk against his neck.

“Hmm, angel boy? Think your colleagues upstairs would be happy with me littering you with pretty little marks?”

Yunho gulped, and San tightened his grip in Yunho’s hair, yanking his head down harshly against the back of the couch until Yunho was staring at the ceiling. His fangs dragged along the sensitive skin of Yunho’s neck, sending tingles rocketing down his spine.

“San, you can’t… she’ll see—”

San sighed disappointedly. “That’s too bad. I was really looking forward to draining you,” he muttered against the angel’s neck, pulling back to make eye contact with Yunho.

Yunho felt almost like his prey as San’s crimson eyes dissolved slowly to a dangerous, demonic black. He’d fucked San before, but they were angels. It was entirely different then—soft, heavenly, warm. But this. This was cold, dark, and passionate—a sexual experience unlike Yunho had ever had. One he now almost regretted not having sooner.

Yunho realized he was still fully clothed—a reality he needed to change as soon as physically possible. He pulled his sweater over his head, then started fumbling uncoordinatedly at the buttons of San’s shirt until it was hanging open, revealing his perfectly sculpted chest. San was exactly Yunho’s type, if he had to pick one—lean, but not too muscular, small waist, broad shoulders. In fact, one could say San was Yunho’s only type in men.

Yunho’s large hands fit perfectly around San’s tiny waist, holding San in place neatly as he ground against Yunho’s crotch. San littered kisses down Yunho’s neck, displaying impressive self control as he carefully dragged his fangs along the surface, not daring to leave marks. Yunho let out shaky moans as San moved down to his collarbone, peppering kisses and nibbles along his shoulders and chest.

Yunho was so worked up, writhing beneath him in a way that he could hardly control any more. He worried if San so much as touched his cock, he would lose it right there—and he wanted to savor this moment as much as possible.

San glared up at him with a teasing smirk as he trailed his tongue down Yunho’s abs, sliding down off the couch until he was on his knees, his head level with Yunho’s crotch. He popped the button on Yunho’s jeans, then slowly tugged down the zipper, clearly enjoying the way Yunho writhed in anticipation.

“What’s the matter, angel boy? Too slow?” San teased, and Yunho sighed in frustration. San traced his fingers over the fabric of Yunho’s underwear, his touch featherlight and heinously gentle. “Tell me what you want,” he purred.

“Quit torturing me,” Yunho huffed, tilting his head down to glare at San.

“Be more specific, love. If you want me to suck your cock, just say so. Or are you too innocent, hmm? That’s cute.” San’s smile widened as he teased Yunho, not letting his game up for even a moment.

Yunho sputtered, choking a bit at San’s forwardness. But he should have known he would be like. “San, I’m not gonna—”

“So you want me to stop then, is that it?” San sat back on his heels defiantly, and Yunho’s eyes widened, brows furrowing. He knew San wasn’t one to let up so easily—that stubborn asshole.

“No—no… please, San,” Yunho begged, the throbbing of his cock against his underwear nearly making his eyes water.

A smug smirk tugged at San’s lips, satisfaction glimmering in his blood-red irises. “Cute, how you think a simple please is enough. Beg for me, love. I wanna hear it from those innocent little angel lips.”

Yunho gulped. The only thing he had left was to shove the embarrassment down to get what he wanted—no, what he needed.

“I—I want you to s—” His breath caught in his throat, a huge lump forming as the blood pooled in his cheeks, making his face hot with humiliation.

“Look at you, so innocent. I don’t recall you being this shy when we were together, Yunyun. Thousands of angel years must have really done a number on you.”

Yunho gritted his teeth, choking out his next words carefully. “I—I want you to suck my cock. Please. Please, San.”

“That’s my angel,” San purred, a grin fully formed on his lips as he sat back up on his knees.

San hooked his fingers in the waistband of Yunho’s jeans, finally tugging them down. Yunho raised his hips off the couch to slide them off, equal parts mortified and aroused by San’s games. He couldn’t deny how bad he wanted it, a fact San knew all too well. San slid Yunho’s underwear off next, his embarrassingly hard cock springing free in front of San’s face.

“Oh, my. I forgot how big it was.” San raised his eyebrows as he tossed Yunho’s clothes aside, licking his lips as he examined it from base to tip. It was a compliment, but somehow Yunho’s cheeks reddened even further, hot underneath San’s intense, crimson leer.

San flicked his tongue across the tip, lapping up the droplet of precum with a soft kitten lick. Yunho groaned in the back of his throat at the sensation. It was barely anything, and yet San had him so wound up he was bucking his hips at even the slightest of touches. San snickered at his pathetic response.

San wrapped his lips around the head, sucking lightly as his hands came to rest on Yunho’s thighs. He gave just enough suction for Yunho to jerk his hips up with a shaky breath. San laughed with his lips still sealed around the head, smug red eyes locked on Yunho’s as he slowly took more into his mouth.

“Oh, god,” Yunho breathed, tipping his head back against the couch.

“Using the lord’s name in vain? Bad angel,” San scolded, pulling off Yunho’s cock with a wet pop. San wrapped a hand around the base, jerking it in his fist as he dragged his tongue in circles around the head. “Someone hasn’t been reading his Bible lately.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you—ah, fuck,” Yunho groaned, cutting himself off as San sank down onto his cock, taking as much as he could into his mouth before it hit the back of his throat. San’s eyelashes fluttered as it became difficult, watery eyes looking up at Yunho as he gagged slightly.

San looked gorgeous around his cock, much to Yunho’s chagrin. He was the very picture of sin—his soft lips stretched perfectly around Yunho’s thick shaft, teary crimson eyes leering through dark lashes, wisps of hair black as coal falling over his face like raven’s feathers. San looked like heaven and hell all at once, and Yunho couldn’t get enough.

The mere sight of San on his knees in front of him was nearly enough to push him over the edge, but San pulled away just in time for Yunho to take a few necessary deep breaths to pull himself back to reality. San looked up with a satisfied grin, drawing his tongue over his lip, lingering it over his lip ring playfully.

He stood up slowly, giving Yunho the perfect view of him as he stripped off his jeans. Yunho widened his eyes as San undid his belt, the veins in San’s forearms bulging slightly as he tugged it off. Yunho’s thoughts grew utterly sinful—completely unfit for an angel—as he imagined the things San could do with that belt. But he tossed it aside to the floor, prioritizing his hard cock bulging from the crotch of his jeans. Yunho’s mouth watered as San slowly stripped his jeans and underwear off, allowing his length completely free now.

San stepped forward, dragging his fingernail along the taut skin of Yunho’s neck, forcing his gaze up to meet his. San surely got a euphoric sense of power having Yunho look up at him rather than down.

“You know the drill, love. On your knees for me, okay?” San purred, letting his nails dig into Yunho’s chest as he ran them down, leaving angry marks behind.

San’s eyes widened as Yunho stood up from the couch, closing every inch of space left between them. San’s head tipped up now, meeting Yunho’s as he watched the angel’s eyes darken mischievously—a look entirely unbefitting of him, but enough to make San blush slightly.

“No, San.” Yunho contested, placing his hand on his cheek as San’s crimson eyes grew confused. Yunho, admittedly, wasn’t one to fight against San’s control. He was, as San would put it, a good little angel.

“No?” San hissed through his teeth.

“What, you’re not used to your prey defying you?” Yunho asked with a devilish smirk, taking a page straight out of San’s playbook.

He didn’t know what came over him—he wasn’t usually like this. In his time with San as angels, San was always the one who took control, the one on top. Yunho liked it that way too. He was entirely submissive in nature, which is why now, as he openly defied San’s orders, asserting dominance by looming above him, San’s eyes widened in complete shock.

“You don’t want me to fuck you then, is that it? Angel boy is too innocent, too pure now, hmm?” San asked, but his voice was shakier than before as Yunho towered over him.

“No, San. I’m going to fuck you this time.”

Yunho had never seen San’s eyes so wide, glimmering with an emotion somewhere between fear and excitement. “I—I’m sorry. You’re going to what?” San sputtered, biting his lip as he met Yunho’s harsh stare.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid to take my cock?” Yunho teased, running his fingers slowly through San’s hair, sticky with sweat. San’s confusion only compounded in his expression, and honestly, Yunho had no idea where his sudden confidence had come from either. The effects of the alcohol from earlier had worn off by now, and yet he was asserting so much dominance over San now like it was nothing.

“Who’s the innocent one now, demon boy?” Yunho felt so satisfied as the words dripped off his tongue—he understood San more now, and the pleasure he got with toying around with him so mercilessly. After everything that San put him through, Yunho was going to take back his control.

San’s voice was shaky as he spoke, but his eyes were narrower now, dark and glazed with lust. “I’ve never seen this side of you, Yunyun,” he said as he helped tug Yunho’s jeans to his ankles. Yunho shook them off his legs, discarding them to the side. “I have to say, it’s kind of hot.”

San’s hand came down to softly stroke Yunho’s cock, and Yunho let a growl roll low in his throat as San caught him off guard. Yunho’s eyes trained on the demon’s neck as a gulp rolled through San’s throat.

“What?” Yunho probed, forcing San’s chin up again to look him in the eyes.

“It—uh, you’re big,” San said, his confidence dissolving rapidly as he gauged Yunho’s impressive size with his fingers.

“Bigger than you’ve taken before?” Yunho asked, stroking San’s hair, which was still tangled neatly between his long fingers.

“I’ve never… uh… I’ve never taken any before,” San admitted quietly, breaking his crimson stare away. Yunho’s eyes widened for a moment, before erupting into uncontrolled laughter.

“I’m sorry, I’m supposed to believe the almighty San, glorified sex demon, has never been fucked before?” Yunho asked mockingly. His harsh words surprised even himself, but they poured out now with so much raw vigor he wasn’t in a position to stop himself.

“Shut the fuck up, angel boy. You know I like to be the one in control,” San sneered in response.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” Yunho cooed, his tone a bit condescending. He wasn’t going to waste his opportunity to play around with San a little. “But no promises.”

San scoffed. “No need to be gentle with me. I can handle myself.”

Yunho’s lips drew into smirk, bending over until his breath tickled against San’s ear. “You’re gonna regret saying that.”

Yunho could see San’s knees buckle slightly under him, making him a bit wobbly as he slipped away for a moment. It was satisfying to see San like this—shaken, visibly working to hide the way Yunho’s uncharacteristically powerful aura was affecting him.

“I—I’ll be right back,” San muttered, turning on his heels out of Yunho’s large shadow, finding his way into the kitchen.

Yunho sank back down on the couch, waiting as San rummaged through Y/N’s kitchen cabinets before re-emerging with a jar of coconut oil.

“Coconut oil? How did you—”

“It’s saved my ass many times,” San responded dryly, prompting Yunho to chuckle at the unexpectedly apt word choice. It would certainly be saving his ass now.

San stifled a visible gulp as he drew to his knees in front of Yunho on the couch once again, dipping his fingers into the coconut oil and working the slick substance all over Yunho’s waiting cock. Yunho let out an uncontained whimper at San’s touch, still all-too-sensitive from the way San had worked him up earlier.

Yunho’s mind was a mess of lust, his mind consumed with thoughts of only SanSanSan, on his knees, submitting underneath him. He imagined San’s restrained whimpers, his embarrassed whines and moans as he took Yunho fully inside him for the first time.

San was stroking the angel’s hard length softly, a sight Yunho could have only described as beautiful, perfect, everything he ever needed—and yet his mind was elsewhere. He had a one track mind to take San until he was screaming his name—a pathetic, whiny mess sprawled on the couch. All his thoughts, his feelings, were consumed by a filthy culmination of all of Yunho’s pent up anger and frustration towards the demon he once loved, bubbling within him now all at once. That, and the raw sexual attraction he had for this somehow godly demon—a sinful way for an angel to think of such a horrible creature.

San’s growingly enthusiastic pumping around Yunho’s shaft snapped him back to attention, making hooded eye contact with the demon’s lustful ruby eyes. Yunho gestured for him to get up, motioning towards his lap, and San obeyed enthiastially, taking a gentle seat against Yunho’s thighs, not once breaking contact of his fingers on the angel’s member. San straddled his lap, his own cock brushing against Yunho’s as he settled in. San bit his lip as Yunho’s hands came to grab his ass, giving it a rough squeeze with his long fingers.

“A-are you gonna, um—” San stuttered, and Yunho could see his cheeks were flushed a pretty red from their close proximity.

“Am I gonna…?” Yunho prompted, a smirk blooming on his face at San’s embarrassment.

San broke his crimson gaze from Yunho’s, ducking his head down. “You know. Um—”

“Aw, are you embarrassed to say you want my fingers inside you? So cute,” Yunho cooed, letting condescension fill his voice as his smirk widened.

“Shut the fuck up, angel boy,” San growled, heat pooling more heavily in his cheeks as Yunho continued to tease him.

Yunho snickered in amusement as he reached for the jar, dipping his fingers in to coat them in oil. He brought his hand back to San’s ass, gently trailing a slick finger along his entrance, and he felt San shiver in his lap, letting out a shaky breath. San’s hands snaked around Yunho’s shoulders, burying his head in the crook of his neck to hide his red face.

Yunho slowly pushed a finger in, his other arm wrapping around San’s waist to keep him steady. San let out an adorable little squeak, and Yunho smiled at his reaction. Yunho pushed it in all the way, sliding down past the knuckle until his hand barred him. Yunho’s cock twitched at how tight he was, even with just one finger inside—he could only imagine how San would feel around him.

“You good?” Yunho asked softly.

“Yeah,” San breathed against Yunho’s neck. “Keep going.”

Yunho pulled his hand back, slowly dragging his finger out almost all the way, then gently eased it back in, eating up San’s shaky breaths against his neck, spilling hot air over Yunho’s skin. Yunho began a slow rhythm, gradually increasing the speed of his movements.

San whimpered beneath him, Yunho’s lips drawing into a satisfied smile as he listened closely to San’s every sound, pleased at the way Yunho had him—very literally—wrapped around his finger. Even as an angel, San was always in control, always one step ahead. It gave Yunho an unmistakable headrush to see the normally cocky demon conceding so easily under him, his heavy breaths and restrained whines falling softly from his lips.

Yunho brought a second finger to San’s entrance, teasing light circles around the outside.

“Think you can handle another, hmm, demon boy?” Yunho breathed in San’s ear. He wasn’t usually one for condescending nicknames, but if he wanted to keep up with San, he’d have to pull out all the tricks.

He felt San nod yes in the crook of his neck.

“Use your words.”

“Yes. Fuck you,” San sneered in response, though his actions didn’t match the icy sting of his words. He was a moaning, whiny mess, yet he still tried to play cool.

Yunho only chuckled in response as San bit his lip to restrain the moans as Yunho slipped the second finger in, bringing it slowly up to pace. As San seemed to relax into the sensations, melting against Yunho’s chest, head still buried in his shoulder, Yunho got creative. He twisted his long fingers inside San’s ass, crooking them slightly to increase the pressure.

“Ah—ah, fuck,” San breathed against his skin.

“Should I stop?” Yunho asked softly, halting his movements teasingly.

“No—no, fuck—keep going.”

He slowly resumed the movement of his fingers, keeping his pace unpredictable as he felt San shake and clench around him, eating up the moans and whines as San conceded to his movements. A wave of inspiration rushed over him suddenly.

“Sannie,” he cooed, using a nickname he hadn’t used for the demon in hundreds—if not thousands—of years. “Look at me.”

Yunho moved his free hand from supporting San’s small waist to his chin, pulling it off his shoulder to making eye contact with him. San struggled to meet his eyes, face still red-hot from the humiliation of his submissive state.

“Tell me you want me, Sannie,” Yunho purred, eyes trained mischievously on San’s flustered expression. “If you want my cock, you have to ask nicely.”

He thrusted his fingers up to the knuckle, causing San’s pretty moans to spill over beautifully from his lips.

“Ah—Yun—ah,” San breathed through his teeth, any composure he had left slowly unraveling in Yunho’s hands. “Fuck—fuck you, I’m not going to beg.”

“Then I guess you don’t want it, is that it?”

“No I—mmf—keep going...” he whined.

Bad idea. Yunho halted his fingers, causing San to whimper in protest.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you want me, or we’re done here, San.”

Yunho was bluffing. It was obvious how much he wanted it, but he trusted San not to realize that, or care. He’d take the bluff as far as he had to just to watch San beg pathetically for him. But the truth was, Yunho wanted this badly, more badly than he could ever image, his cock throbbing and aching against San’s as they pressed and pushed together against their stomachs.

“P-please,” San choked out.

Yunho’s fingers traced against the demon’s chin again, forcing his gaze up until the eye-contact was unavoidable. “Please what?”

“Please, I want… your cock,” San continued, voice shaky as Yunho twisted his fingers slowly inside of him. “Fuck me, please…”

“You’re so cute like this, Sannie,” Yunho praised, lacing his free hand in San’s hair as he slipped his fingers out slowly.

Yunho had prepared to flip him over on his knees, but San had other plans, shifting his weight on Yunho’s lap and hoisting his hips up until his ass lined up with the head of Yunho’s oil-slicked cock.

“San—you can’t…” Yunho broke his confident facade for a moment, suddenly worried about hurting San from this position. He was effectively taking San’s ass virginity, and Yunho was more well-endowed than most. He could rip him apart if he wasn’t careful.

“What did I say, angel boy?” San gritted through his teeth, letting gravity take hold as he slowly lowered himself down. “I can handle myself.”

San let out an unrestrained cry as the tip slid in. Even with the generous amount of coconut oil they’d used, it wasn’t an effortless endeavor. Yunho cursed through his moans as he took San’s overwhelming tightness—it was like nothing he’d ever felt before, San’s ass clenching beautifully around him.

The pleasure only compounded as San took the initiative to sink further down, both their cries harmonizing at the intensity of the sensations. Yunho stayed painfully still, resisting every urge in his body to buck his hips up against San, to push all the way in. He couldn’t. He would destroy him.

San’s head found its home back in the crook of Yunho’s neck, using the angel’s soft skin to stifle his own noises. San sank lower, only by a centimeter or so, but it was enough for Yunho’s body to react on its own, hips jerking up reactively.

San cried out, and Yunho realized what he’d done, but not before he felt San’s fangs sink into his shoulder, piercing the flesh without a second thought.

“Fuck, San—I told you not to,” Yunho hissed through his teeth, wincing at the harsh sting of his fangs.

“Sorry,” San mumbled. “You—I didn’t mean to.”

Yunho knew San was a bad liar, and didn’t take apologies lightly. He was telling the truth.

“I—it’s okay,” Yunho muttered softly.

San lapped slowly at the wounds, soothing them slightly. Neither of them dared to move from their precarious position, San’s hips still hovering way too far off of Yunho’s thighs to possibly be comfortable. Yunho’s hands snaked around San’s tiny waist, digging his fingernails in as he took in the sensation of San’s tongue sliding over the stinging wound on his shoulder.

“Maybe we should move to another position… y’know, so you don’t end up draining me like this,” Yunho suggested with a chuckle, and San nodded in agreement, still kitten-licking the fresh wound as more blood trickled out.

Yunho couldn’t care less about his bleeding for the time being—he was too focused on his dick, which needed to be back in San’s ass immediately. Yunho moved his fingers around to squeeze San’s hips, helping him hoist himself up and slide off.

San wasted no time repositioning himself on the couch, ass up in the air—an irresistible sight to Yunho, who wanted nothing more than to be buried inside him. But, considering San’s earlier difficulties, he’d have to be more patient than he would have liked.

He lined himself up with San’s entrance, then dipping his cleaner fingers into the coconut oil, generously slicked his own cock and San’s ass with extra lubricant. San whimpered at the mere touch of Yunho’s fingers against him, cold and slippery with the oil.

“Tell me what you want, Sannie,” Yunho purred, still riding his dominant high.

“Fuck off and put your cock in me,” San growled. Yunho chuckled, deciding enough was enough—no more games.

He slid the tip in easily, helped by the generous amount of lube, stroking San’s hair from the back to soothe his whines and moans. He guided himself in deeper with his free hand placed delicately on San’s waist, admiring the difference in size. Yunho was huge, towering—a gentle giant. San was small and fragile, though you’d never guess by his cocky disposition.

Yunho moved slowly, easing San into it. He knew he was too much for San, especially for his first time—but it didn’t make keeping the control any easier with such a hot demon whimpering and moaning beneath him.

“Deeper,” San commanded.

Yunho couldn’t argue with that. His control dissolved at San’s sudden demand. After all, San had instructed him not to be gentle with him. He thrust in, throwing carefulness out the window, and San cried out as Yunho tugged his head back by his hair, exposing his sharp features to Yunho from behind. He picked up a steady rhythm now, slow but vigorous, snaking the hand on San’s hip around to his waiting cock, stroking softly.

“Fuck—Yunho…” San moaned, all composure he may have had left dissolving under Yunho’s motions, his hand now keeping pace with his thrusts.

Yunho couldn’t keep it together for much longer, and neither could San, by the ever-increasing sounds of pleasure falling from his lips, begging Yunho not to stop. He wouldn’t have dreamed of it. He gripped San’s waist the hand that was previously entangled in his hair, increasing his rhythm until San was crying his name. He felt his ass clench around his dick as San came, thick streaks of cum painting the couch white.

Yunho thrust in to the hilt, and San nearly buckled beneath him at the sudden length. Yunho cursed and grunted as he spilled over inside of San, who was still clenching around him, increasing every nerve in his body exponentially.

San collapsed onto the couch as Yunho slid out, carefully avoiding the cum-stained upholstery.

“Fuck,” Yunho cursed, realizing what he’d done to the couch. In his lustful frenzy, he hadn’t exactly considered the consequences of his action. “I’ll have to clean that up before she wakes up…”

San managed to smirk through his heavy panting, “It’s a good thing I’m the demon maid. I know where all the cleaning supplies are.”

Yunho rolled his eyes, slipping into the bathroom to clean himself up and bandage up the remaining wound on his shoulder. When he re-emerged, San was dressed, knees visibly wobbly as he scrubbed the cum stain off the couch.

“What a good little maid,” Yunho teased. “You look cute on your knees like that.”

“You would know,” San jeered back.

Yunho glanced at Y/N’s coconut oil, making a mental note to replace it for her before she had a chance to use it, though chances were she wouldn't even notice if it disappeared. She wasn’t exactly the “cooking-at-home” type.

“We… we don’t talk about this again,” Yunho said carefully as San removed the last traces of their earlier sinful endeavor. Now that he wasn’t so clouded with blind lust for San, he had a moment to reflect on his terrible choices for the night. Not that he regretted it. Not even a single second.

“Okay, angel boy. Whatever you say. But if you ever want to do it again, you know where to find me,” San responded, flashing his fangs and a cheeky wink. And there was the San he knew.

The two never ended up talking. San left just as quickly as he’d appeared: without a trace, like he was never even there. It felt like some sort of fever dream as soon as he was gone, although Yunho knew for a fact he had never gone to sleep. He tidied up the rest of the living room, rearranging the pillows on the couch, making sure it looked like San was never there—in fact, he made it look like he’d never left Y/N’s room in the first place.

Yunho slipped back into the room, carefully turning the knob, and found her exactly as he left her, somehow undisturbed despite how loud they’d been for the past few… well, however long it had been, Yunho supposed.

Yunho shook all thoughts of San away, only just realizing how exhausted he’d been from the rigorous exercise he’d just partaken in. But as he closed his eyes to sleep, he only saw San, the mental image of him on his knees, glancing up at Yunho through messy strands of raven hair, lips swollen, eyes dark and lustful.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

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