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stonedstr8 · 3 months ago

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TOKE 'N STROKE

"Ads are getting so damn invasive." Lucas thought to himself, clicking skip on yet another pointless car commercial interrupting the video essay he was watching. "You think the algorithm would know its audience by now, I'm too gay to drive!"

He laughed a little bit at the joke, running a hand through his soft, bleached blonde hair. He was the epitome of a high-maintenance twink, with his smooth, hairless body and perfect sense of style. He was smart too and liked to boast about it, with a scholarship for his English Lit degree and being made President of his university's LGBT Chapter, which he was hoping to use as a stepping stone to become Student Body President next year.

Leaning back again in his chair he reached for his cellphone, seeing a text from his boyfriend Alex.

Alex: "Hey cutie, still busy with finals this weekend, but have time for a dinner date Sunday night?"

He smiled to himself, giving an eager text back to set it up, and to wish him well on his upcoming exams. "Ugh, I need to start studying too, Monday's going to be one hell of a final... I'll focus on it and head to the library after this video and-"

Just like that, his train of thought was interrupted again by a stupid ad, this time some obnoxious psychedelic visuals and a bad electric guitar riff blared out of his monitor. It startled him so badly that he seized up for a second, accidentally clicking the ad and being brought to their store page. "Broski's Bud's, one stop ship and shop for weed strains to fix your brain..." He rolled his eyes at the cringe marketing, getting ready to close the tab when a pop-up opened trying to tell him all about a deal he 'wouldn't want to miss out on'. "No thanks, stupid site, you can keep your Bro Buds or whatever to yourself." but every time he hit X on the popup another would open, being more and more insistent each time about new deals, until finally a desperate '90% OFF AND SPECIAL STARTER KIT AS A BONUS WITH YOUR FIRST PURCHASE' filled his screen. "FINE," he scoffed at his computer, "I'll take a look at the stupid site. My therapist suggested I try out weed to help lessen my anxiety anyways, so might as well get a good deal on it..."

Clicking the pop-up added the 'starter kit' to his cart, it was a pack of pre-rolled blunts and some sort of mystery box, but the description didn't help him understand it much either. "Get ready to step into the zone and open ur mind with this one bros, Broski's Buds bestselling strain, Toke 'n Stroke, is sure to change your life by stimulating a high never felt before! This isn't your sissy uncle's strain, this shit puts hair on your chest like a real man!"

"God this is so cringe, I bet they get all kinds of business marketing to the dumb jocks in town, no wonder their brains are mush. Still, it's just weed and for $20 I might as well give it a try, I probably won't find it cheaper anywhere else..." sitting in thought about it for a few seconds, Lucas finally filled in his payment info and placed his order, getting a free upgrade to same-day delivery since they seem to have a storefront a few miles from his apartment.

"Well, there goes my library plans I guess, I'll have to wait around for delivery since my package will probably get swiped otherwise..." Lucas sighed, turning off his computer and plopping down onto the couch, picking up his Switch to play Animal Crossing and kill time.

A few hours passed and the sky got dark before finally a long buzz came from his intercom. "Took them long enough, it's nearly 9pm!" he complained, putting his jacket on to head downstairs. When he got down there the delivery guy had already gotten into his car again, driving away and leaving Lucas to carry the package back upstairs all on his own. It was bigger than he expected, taking both hands to lift it and keep it stable. "Jesus, this thing must weight like 40 pounds! What did they put in here?"

After a bit of struggling and the occasional break to catch his breath, Lucas pushed his package into the living room, collapsing on the floor next to it for a while. "After that workout I'm surprised I don't look like the douchebags around campus." he laughed to himself, bouncing up to get a box cutter and pry his package open. After taking the carton of pre-rolled blunts out, he started into the box with a bit of confusion and disgust, pulling things out one after the other.

"A sleeveless tank top that says 'Toke 'n Stroke Bro'... A pair of douchey sunglasses... Some red gym shorts, socks and slides... Ew, a snapback saying 'Who ate all the pussy?', why the fuck would anyone wear this!... And 2 dumbbells, no wonder this thing was so heavy! All of this is useless shit that's gonna end up in a donation bin now, I'll have to drop this trashy stuff off tomorrow on my way to the library... But hey, at least the weed seems fine, smells... potent." He said, tossing everything back into the box and taking a whiff of one of the blunts.

Kicking back on the couch again, he played with the blunt in his hand for a while before finally having the courage to light it up, taking a hit. Immediately he started coughing, not used to the sensation, but it did make his brain start to feel... fuzzy. "Damn, okay I need to push past it and get used to it." he said, lighting up for another hit of the blunt, this time barely a cough escaping his throat, feeling suspiciously more used to it. Then another, and another, until finally the whole blunt was gone. Sitting in his daze for a while, he enjoyed the sensation of his mind drifting around experiencing the high, his anxiety melting away as if he didn't have a care in the world. Eventually he decided to try and get up, but his body slumped over off the couch and hitting the floor, the room fading to black...

...

When Lucas finally came to again, the first thing that hit him was the strong smell of weed floating around in the air. "Damn bro, did I smoke the whole set or what..." he laughed groggily, getting ready to stretch out and get back to laying on the couch before he was startled by the sound of moaning blasting from his TV, eyes shooting open in confusion. On the screen, two busty lesbians were making out, them taking turns groping each others boobs and fingering each other. "What the fuck bro, how long has this been on?" he cursed, nervous that the neighbors nextdoor might have heard it playing as he started desperately looking for the remote.

When he couldn't find it in the cushions, he got up from the couch only to be met with his feet kicking a bunch of empty beer cans. "Dude, there's gotta be 2 dozen thrown all over the floor, did I have a party or something? I don't even know anyone who drinks beer..." he mumbled, going to scratch his head in confusion, but was even more confused when instead of his hair he felt a hat on top of his head. "Huh?" he thought, as he looked down at the floor again, noticing that instead of his skinny jeans and converse he was now wearing the socks and slides from the box, along with the sleeveless tank top and the shorts too. He stumbled his way to the bathroom door still baked out of his mind, mouth dropping open at his reflection in the full-length mirror in front of him.

"Broooo, am I dreaming or what the fuckkkk is going on" he said in disbelief. No more was the cute, pale twink he used to be staring back at him. Instead, a douchey bro he didn't recognize was standing face to face with him. Tanned skin, pillowy muscles, his once blonde hair turned into a brown buzz cut and with that stupid "Who ate all the pussy?" hat slapped over it. He touched his face, feeling along his chin where his once smooth skin now had a rougher texture, and a trashy chinstrap sprouted from his jawline. He slapped his face a few times in his daze, trying to wake up from the dream and growing more confused each time nothing changed.

Turning around and staggering back to his living room to try and make sense of what's going on, it hit him that he barely recognizes the room anymore. His apartment used to be perfectly maintained and well-decorated, now there was beer cans all over the floor, along with dirty socks and cummed-in underwear, greasy pizza boxes and chip bags all over the table and counter, the decorations on his walls had been torn down and replaced with posters of chicks in bikinis and sports teams, his Switch replaced with an X-Box and a stack of COD games next to it, DVD cases of trashy bro-comedies were thrown around near the TV too... Then the smell hit him, it STUNK in here, like a sickening mixture of weed, cheap body spray, and sour BO wafting in a heat around the room. "Bro, it fucking reeks in here... Or wait..." he mumbled as he gave himself a whiff, "I fucking reek!"

After a bit of stunned silence he finally started to process things in his brain again. How the fuck did he get like this, was any of this even real, and how does he get back to normal? He plopped back onto the couch, picking up his phone to see he had a handful of missed texts and calls from his boyfriend before noticing the time... 2:00pm. On Sunday. He had somehow been blacked out for 2 whole nights, with no memory of anything that had happened. While getting ready to call his boyfriend back, Lucas felt his insides rumbling and at first he thought it was from the munchies because of all the weed, but then he realized "Oh bro, all that double-cheese pizza is really gonna fucking..."

*PHRRRBBBTTT!*

His body instinctively lifted its leg as it pushed out the loudest and most obnoxious fart he'd ever ripped in his life, as his body seemed to react on its own, letting out an immature laugh and wafting the air before muttering "Fuck yeah bro, smells like victory!" He leaned back into the couch, remembering he needed to call Alex, but the loud moaning on the TV caught him off guard again. This time he locked eyes with the screen, the cock in his shorts immediately bulging and straining at the sight of the lesbian porn before him. "I really need to turn this shit off and get whatever's going on sorted out..." he thought, but he realized he couldn't move his hand to reach for his phone, instead it reacted on its own, reaching down his waistband to pull out his cock and start stroking for the busty babes on TV.

"All I do is Toke 'n Stroke, bro..." a voice in his head seemed to say, except it didn't come from within, he spoke it directly out of his own mouth.

"Wait, I didn't say that bro, it's-" he tried to talk, realizing that his thoughts echoed around stuck in his own head, not even leaving the lips of his own body. He was just stuck there, watching in a dazed horror as he went on autopilot.

"Toke 'n Stroke bro, I'm such a loyal customer Broski's Buds will HAVE to take me as a hype boy this time haha!" his voice spoke again, continuing to stroke for the porn on TV, Lucas's eyes stuck fixed on the screen. Suddenly though, he was interrupted by his phone vibrating, a text from his boyfriend coming through.

Alex: "Hey cutie, I hope everything is alright? You haven't answered my calls or texts in a couple days, I know it's busy with all your studying but we do still have dinner planned for tonight. Still on for me to pick you up at 5?"

"Oh thank God," Lucas thought, reading the message, "I can tell him what's going on and have him come over to help me fix this shit!" Unlocking his phone, Lucas let out a sigh of relief as he got ready to reply, only for his body to still be taken over by whatever douchey daze it was stuck in.

Lucas: "dont u ever come around me u faggy creep, if me or my bros ever catch u within 100 feet of us we'll give u the beating of a lifetime! fuck around n find out if u dare to show ur face here."

Lucas screamed internally as the message was typed out and sent in front of his very eyes, before his hand moved to block his boyfriend's number and turn his phone off. "Something is seriously fucking wrong with me bro, I need to-"

*PHHRRRRBBBTTTTTT*

Another obnoxious and sickening fart blasted out of his ass, filling the room and breaking Lucas's thoughts down into a daze again, as he felt around under the couch for something before pulling a sweaty, well-used fuck toy of a girls ass and pussy up from the mess.

As Lucas once again locked eyes with the TV, he took another hit from his dwindling blunt stash, finishing up the last one. After throwing what was left onto the floor, he prepared the fuck toy and slid it right down onto his cock, starting to bounce the toy up and down as he edged himself closer to finishing.

"If I can't figure out a way to snap out of this, I'm so fucked..." he thought, as his voice spoke again. "Toke 'n Stroke bro, this chick is soooo getting fucked!" He moaned, as he shot his thick load into the toy, feeling some of his braincells permanently shoot out with it, sloppily wiping the mess on the cushion next to him as he laid back, feeling his insides start to bubble again.

Lucas had a lot of Bro Time to catch up on, but luckily his new favorite weed strain was making sure that he was a captive audience until he was fully converted and assimilated into just another Bro.

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motherlvr · 1 year ago

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Hi, can you do a Earth 42!Miles x Earth 42!Spider-Woman!Reader where Reader somehow meets Hobie and they hit it off. Miles sees them one day and gets jealous

tysm for the req!!

wc: 2.8k

pairing: E-42! Miles Morales x Spider-woman! reader

warnings: cursing, argument, friends to lovers, makeout sesh, slightly suggestive

a/n: imagine some comically sized british chap comes in and steals ur girl nahhh

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Your webs were useless against him.

At the moment, you were trying to apprehend a Vulture-like man and prevent him from further harming Brooklyn. As you have been for the past hour. You tried to pin the winged man down using your webs, but he tore right through them like they were made of paper.

What you initially believed going to be light work turned into a much larger problem as you were slammed into the side of a building. The unwelcome guest had an unfair advantage over you. You had to learn that the hard way.

His wing regenerated within only seconds of you ripping it off. It was like you were inside a cartoon.

Your jaw almost dropped to the ground. Hammerspace was real? You had only read about it in comics. "Dude, who even are you?" You shouted in confusion. But whoever he was, he wasn't from your world. That part was evident.

But it seemed like the tides were turning to your benefit.

You heard it before you saw it. You could've sworn guitar riffs rang throughout the air before another unexpected visitor came flying through a portal.

Upon further inspection, you realized it was another Spider-person. How was that possible? You thought you were the only one. But it wasn't the oddest thing you've seen as Spider-woman.

Bashing the winged man on the head with an electric guitar, he temporarily caught the Vulture off guard. Using it to his advantage, he quickly encased the anomaly in a force cage. Dusting off his palms, his lengthy legs strode over to you.

"Hold ya applause." He joked, giving you a small bow and pretending to tip an invisible hat.

His slightly cocky attitude was justified as you almost did applause. He folded the guy you've been fighting for an hour within only a few minutes. With a damn guitar, nonetheless. You almost geeked out, "That was fuckin' sick!" you exclaimed.

"Don't sell yourself short, mate. You did most of the work. My name's Hobie." He introduced himself. And from there, a grand friendship bloomed.

---------

Present-day and a few months have passed since you were practically drafted into the Spider Society. It was like a full-time job, as consumed most of your free time. The spare time that you'd usually spend hanging out with Miles. So needless to say, you were deprived of interactions with anyone that wasn't genetically enhanced by a spider.

Balancing your social life and the fate of the multiverse was much more challenging than Miguel originally let on. But what would he know about social life, anyway?

In the time you've spent at the Spider Society headquarters, you gravitated towards the infamous freedom fighter, Spider-punk. Or as he refers to be called: Hobie Brown.

Ever since he singlehandedly took the Vulture out with a guitar, the two of you just 'clicked'. Better yet, you guys were an unbeatable duo when it came to dealing with anomalies. You were almost inseparable. Just as Miles and you once were. Miguel even assigned Hobie the same missions as you.

One could say Hobie became what Miles once was to you. As you used to confide in Miles, you started to turn to Hobie instead. It wasn't that you were intentionally trying to distance yourself from Miles, but rather due to the convenience that Hobie shared the same issues as you. Rather, in this case, almost the exact same story. Hobie understood you to a Tee.

Miles was aware of your identity as Spider-woman as you were aware of him being the Prowler. But it wasn't always that way. Once upon a time, Miles originally intended to keep his identity as the Prowler a secret from you, but you found out anyway. Call it your spider-sense, if you may.

When someone close to you mysteriously disappears for various periods of time, it starts to hit a little too close to home. Miles trying to keep his identity concealed from you was a routine that wasn’t too different from yours. Him sneaking out at night, returning at ungodly hours with bruises, and lying. It was all too familiar. You eventually figured it out on your own. And when you confronted him about the truth, he confessed it all to you.

When he apologized for keeping such a crucial piece of information a secret, you couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. So you revealed your secret identity to him. The two of you entrusted each other with your greatest secrets. Secrets that could completely ruin one's life if they were spread to the world. It would put massive targets on both of your backs. The two of you had something special: trust. Or at least, used to.

Refocusing back on the present, you were currently out hunting anomalies with Hobie as you have been for the past months.

Today's anomaly was a particularly pesky villain. He had Hobie and you running in circles all around New York. Inevitably, the two of you caught him anyway.

Wiping the sweat off your forehead, you realized how fatigued you were. You were sure Hobie felt the same.

Your life revolved around the Spider Society and what missions needed to be completed. You worked all day and all night to ensure the protection of the multiverse. You didn’t have much time to yourself nor time for anyone outside of the Spider Society.

So, after completing the mission Miguel had assigned the both of you, you convinced Hobie to take a short interlude with you before going off to catch another dimension-destroying villain. Thankfully, he agreed.

Opening a portal to your selected safe space in New York, you guided Hobie outside the Clocktower. You frequented it when you needed a quick retreat from all the responsibilities being Spider-woman came with. But unbeknownst to you, Miles did the same. He was leaning his back against the other side of the Clocktower, unsuspecting of your presence.

Safe to presume, both of you were alike in more ways than just having secret identities as vigilantes.

Miles has been visiting this Clocktower ever since he took up his Uncle's mantle as the Prowler. He came up to this tower to wind down, away from his vigilante duties. His life was turned upside down, but the one thing that remained constant in his life was you. Now was a different story, however. You were slowly fading away from him, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

Angling his head up towards the sky, he pondered about your disappearance. What could possibly have you so occupied? Another guy? Just the thought irked him.

You stopped returning his calls, messaging him, and didn't seem to have any free time. He knew being Spider-woman must come with great responsibility, but the excuses you made were piling up. The mutual trust the two of you once shared was slowly becoming a distant memory.

As Hobie and you pulled your masks down, you let out a long exhale of air. Sitting on the ledge of the clocktower with your legs swinging, Hobie made himself at home next to you. He said, "I am absolutely knackered." his English accent becoming more prominent. You cracked a slight smile and teased, "You tired, innit?" He only rolled his eyes at you and said, "You ain't even use innit right, you pillock."

Your uncontrolled laughter could be heard from miles away. It felt good to be able to relax for once. Even if it was only for a few minutes. Dramatically wiping tears from your eyes, you asked in between laughs, "What the hell is a pillock?" Hobie didn't find it nearly as amusing but gave a small chuckle at how comedic you found it.

As your laugh rang throughout the air, Miles' ears almost perked, despite not hearing your voice in months. Suddenly rising from his position, he wondered whether his ears were deceiving him. But as your laughter got louder, he was positive it was you.

Following the familiar sound of your voice, he spotted you sitting on the ledge of the Clocktower, looking as carefree as ever. Your back was facing toward him, and he was dying to just catch a single glimpse of you.

He called out your name with only a hint of hesitation. And when you whipped your head around, it was like a wave of affection hit him all over again. He was seeing you for the first time in months. Even after all that time away, you still made his heartbeat pause.

A silent moment passed as the sun's gleaming rays framed your figure in all the right ways. He only snapped out of his trance when he realized you weren't alone. You were accompanied by a rather conspicuous individual. Another guy.

Narrowing his eyes at the sight of the unknown male, he asked you, "What're you doin' up here, ma?

He wanted to hold a grudge against you for barely speaking to him within the past few months, but that was a less-pressing matter that he'd bring up later.

You disappeared for months. But out of the blue one evening, you return with some unknown guy. Staring at Miles, you looked like a deer caught in headlights. He felt as if he wasn't supposed to be seeing this.

Perhaps Miles was being selfish. But he couldn't bare to see you with another guy. So when he saw you with Hobie, he only assumed the worst.

Not to mention, Miles believed you looked a bit too cozy with the enigma of a male next to you. If he hadn't interrupted the two of you, it seemed to him like you would've snuggled right into the other man's side. Who was he? And why would you choose to spend your time with him rather than Miles? What did he have that Miles lacked? His jealousy was bound to make him snap the longer he saw you in the comforts of a guy that wasn't him.

But what he felt ran deeper than just jealousy. He was envious. He was envious of a man whom he didn't know anything about. Because he was who you chose to spend time with, not Miles. That was how Miles perceived it, anyway.

Your response made him snap back to reality. "Miles? What are you doing here?" Emphasizing the word 'you', you tried to reverse the question onto him. The Clocktower wasn't exactly a designated hang-out area for civilians. Hobie stood up and stretched as he was going to introduce himself to Miles. He held his hand out to help you up and you mindlessly accepted it. Miles' eye twitched seeing your hand in another man's hold.

Hobie and you walked over to Miles, and Miles' envy only grew. He soon realized Hobie was a Spider-person as well. Just as you were. Since when did a Spider-man exist? Miles thought.

Hobie exuded nonchalance as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his spiked jacket. He seemed unbothered by Miles' presence.

Questions plagued Miles' mind as he analyzed Hobie: Were you into guys like him? Is he why you haven't been around lately? How was he so tall?

Miles stared daggers into Hobie's eyes. But Hobie brushed off his glare and said, "What's up, man? Name's Hobie." Miles only nodded his head once at him and said, "I'm Miles." "Yeah, I know." Hobie responded. Miles paused for a second but shook it off as he turned to you. Replying to your previous question of why he was here, he told you, "I come here sometimes. You too, huh?"

Nodding your head, you agreed, "Yeah. To clear my mind, y'know?" With some other guy? Miles almost snipped. Instead, he hummed in response. Enunciating, he asked the question that's been lingering in the back of his mind for months. "Where've you been for the past months, ma? You went ghost." He tried to seem as collected as he could.

Rubbing the back of your head, you tried to come up with some lame response. "Sorry, Miles. I've just been busy lately." Miles couldn't stop his next words from coming out once they started to form.

"Busy doin' what exactly? Him?" He remarked, nodding his head in Hobie's direction. His outburst made your eyes widen in shock. You were aware you didn't look entirely presentable, with maybe a few stray strands of hair, but could you catch a break for once? You had just saved another dimension from deteriorating.

Hobie and you blurted out a response at the same time, "Nah, that's mad." "Absolutely not." But Miles wasn't convinced. The way both Hobie and you appeared utterly exhausted wasn't exactly helping your case.

Sensing the obvious tension in the air and the way you gaped at Miles, Hobie glanced down at you and pointed out, "Hol'up, you fancy the Prowler?" as a slight chuckle escaped his lips. His face was laced with an amused smirk rather than judgment.

"Hobie!" You shot him an agitated look, silently telling him to shut up.

Miles was only wondering how Hobie instantly knew he was the Prowler. He was convinced for a second that Hobie could read minds.

Hobie began to understand Miles' initial hostility and tried to assure him. "Apologies, apologies. I ain't know you lot were together." Hobie said, raising his palms in his defense.

Miles had no intention to correct Hobie, but you hesitated as you said to him, "We're not..." The words faltered on your tongue. Noticing your hesitation, Hobie leaned down to you and whispered in your ear, "Yeah? Does he know that?"

Reading the room, Hobie could tell you needed to speak to Miles in private. It seemed Miles was in the dark about a few key things. So as always, once Hobie is satisfied with the mayhem he has instigated, he leaves the scene. Giving you a two-fingered salute, Hobie tells you, "Alright, I'm off. See you in a bit." throwing you a wink. You mentally cursed him as he strolled away. Once he was out of Miles' sight, he disappeared into a portal back home.

For a brief moment, Miles wondered whether Hobie was his replacement.

Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose and turned to Miles. "I'm sorry, Miles. I've just been preoccupied with Spider-woman stuff." You said, not going into further details.

His jealousy almost boiled over. "Cut the shit, ma. If you're busy jeepin' with some guy, just say that." Miles was exasperated as he threw his arms in the air.

In pure disbelief, you tried to tell him. "Miles, you got it twisted. I swear. I didn't mean to shut you out, I've been out on missions. You know how it is." You were no fool. You knew how it must've looked to Miles when he caught you with Hobie after disappearing for months. But you didn't want him thinking you had ditched him just to go fool around with some other guy.

You didn't want your friendship with him to end like this, nor did you want it to end at all. "Hobie's just my partner. We go on missions together. That's all we are." You continued to explain to Miles. While you could understand Miles' viewpoint, the guy you wanted was standing right in front of you.

Miles furrowed his brows at you and inquired, "So you aren't messin' with him?" You immediately replied, "For the last time, absolutely not!"

Miles nodded in approval, "Good. Does that mean you ain't gonna be mad at me if I do this?" He ominously questioned you. Raising an eyebrow, you asked, "Do what?"

His gaze flickered to your lips as he lifted your chin with his hand, swiftly connecting your lips. Your lips slowly move together as ocean waves do. Removing his hold on your face, one hand traveled down to your waist to pull you in. You lifted your arms to wrap them around his neck.

Ever since he saw you again, his urge to press his lips to yours was undying. Those silent months caused plenty of built-up frustrations that he had wholeheartedly planned on taking out on your lips. He missed you. The way you felt against him, your voice, and the sweet aftertaste you left on his lips.

As the moments passed by, the heat you both felt was only getting more intense. He backed you against a wall of the tower, and you wrapped a leg around his waist to pull him in even further. One of his hands supported the leg that you encased around him, tracing circles into your thigh with his thumb.

Parting to catch a breath, you left kisses down Miles' neck. In between each one, you whispered an apology. "I'm really sorry. Promise I'll make it up to you, Miles." After you were done speaking, he only glanced down at you. Whispering back, he told you, "Talk less, ma." as he stole your breath yet again, pressing his lips to yours.

You supposed he was right. The two of you would have plenty of time to talk later, as it was apparent he wasn't letting you go anytime soon.

--------

tysm for reading!

taglist: @l5byrinth @11erinome11 @ulovejayy @laylasbunbunny @whatamidoing89 @kanvis @sophiaj650 @edgyficuselastica @spideys2cute @whatamidoing89 @beabadobee @sxributr @justhereforfunidk

lmk if u want to be added! honestly have no clue why the last few tags aren't working i am so sorry lmao

#earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles morales x reader #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #miles morales spider man #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x you #prowler miles #spider man #friends to lovers #prowler!miles x reader #prowler miles morales #prowler x reader

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago

Text

my girl 2

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your brother’s friend from work starts hanging out a lot more often. (short!reader)

Characters: Captain Syverson

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

After dinner, you volunteer to do the dishes. It’s an easy way out of the awkward social cues and you find, it keeps your mom off your back so you can get a chapter in. You finish up, drying each and placing them neatly in the cupboards. Having defeated the dirty plates, you grab your book and head out to the porch.

As the sun sets, the daytime heat dissipates into a mellow coolness. The smell of dew laces the fresh air. You lay back on the porch swing, feet up on the armrest as you read, the glow of the outside light giving just enough to make out the font.

You plunge into the fictional realm head first. The buzz of crickets gives way to the eerie atmosphere of the underworld caverns and the night shifts in time with imaginary shadows. You are there with the party, trekking through the treacherous, waiting for a beast to surprise you.

The front door swings open and hits the end of the swing. You squeak as the book slips free of your grasp and falls to the ground. You sit up as you crane to see over your shoulder, an orc-like silhouette adding to your fright. It isn’t real.

Your vision clears and you return to reality. It’s only Sy. His eyes look just as startled as he looks down at you then his eyes skitter over to the ground.

Before you can reach over the edge of the bench, Sy moves to grab the book. He lifts it and smooths the pages, dusting off the cover. He examines it before he hands it over.

“Sorry, I’m a big lug sometimes,” he says as you accept the book and search for your place.

“It’s fine,” you smile and keep your thumb between the pages.

He reaches to rub the back of his neck then drags his hand over his beard. You noticed the same gesture several times during dinner and before that. It seems a habit that betrays a thoughtful mind.

“Good book?” He gestures towards the novel.

You look down and tilt your head, “it’s alright. Typical fantasy, you know?”

“Ah,” he nods as the porch light leaves his features in darkness.

“Mmhmm,” you smile and sit straight on the swing, your legs dangling over the edge.

He steps closer and puts his hand on the post that holds the bench aloft, “erm, dinner was good.”

“Oh? Yeah, it was.”

“I know ya made some of it so... wanted to say so.”

“Uh, right,” you laugh nervously, “yeah, guess I did.”

He’s quiet and you’re just as speechless. The night breeze does little to cool the scald of tension all around you. Why is he talking to you? He should be grunting at Isaac’s dumb jokes.

“Anyway, gotta head out,” he shifts on his feet, “you have a good night.”

“Er, sure, you too,” you cheep.

“Mmm, sure will,” he answers and lets go of the swing, turning to continue to the stairs. He stops at the top and looks back, “don’t stay out here too late. Thunderstorm coming.”

“Is there?” You wonder as you look up at the sky, the moon clear.

“So I heard,” he shrugs and sets off down the stairs with clomping steps.

You stare after him as he stalks off, following the path down to the long driveway and to his large truck. The street light illuminates his silhouette as you feel the dampness woven into the wind. You sit back and let out a ‘huh’. You hadn’t noticed it until he said something, then again, you hadn’t been living in that world.

💕

“Peanut!” Your mom calls to you from down the hall. “Little help!”

You sigh and finish the sentence. You roll your eyes up and mark your page. You sit up, frustrated as each page seems to be interrupted by one thing or another. You roll of the bed and leave the book on your pillow.

You open your door and a roiling wall of heat blasts you in the face. You head down the hall and find your mother a humid mess as she works in her apron, her forehead sticky, and a pan in her hands. She drops it with a clang on the stove top and puffs.

“Ugh, these things are never going to cook,” she tuts and shakes her head.

“Mom?” You cross your arms and lean in the doorway. Even with central air, her broil has the house as hot as Mordor. “What’s up?”

“Well, I was hoping you’d make your apple blossoms for dessert but I just got a call from Isaac,” she shakes her head and wipes her sweaty brow. “He forgot his lunch.”

“Oh,” you purse your lips and nod.

“So, peanut, you wanna go for a ride? I’d take it myself but I’m in the middle of something,” she smiles and fans herself. “And I’m an absolute mess!”

“Yeah, I guess I could,” you shrug, trying not to let your disappointment burn through. Considering she isn’t pressuring you to get a summer job like everyone else’s parents, you won’t push it.

“You’re amazing, pea,” she trills and goes to the fridge. She pulls out a container of yesterday’s leftovers and shoves them into your hands, “and tell your brother not to be late.”

“Sure,” you utter.

“Ah, and if you run into Sy, you tell him he’s more than welcome to come by. Should be all sorts of extras tonight.”

“Right,” you take the container and find a cloth bag to put it in. You head back to your room and swipe up your book and your phone. Just in case.

You pluck your mom’s keys off the hook by the door as you slip into your sandals, the straps braided leather. You chose them because the little daisies reminded you of a woodland elf. You take your brother’s lunch and grumble as you cross the lawn.

Your mother’s car is nicer than your dad’s truck. More manageable for you. You don’t need to adjust the seat very much and you can see the road, mostly.

You take the drive slowly, enjoying the greenery of the neighbourhood. Your brother can suffer his own negligence. He’s an adult and he’s still forgetting his lunch at home. As always, someone else is cleaning up after him.

You pull up to the shop. You’ve been there once or twice but never inside. As you get out of the car, you hesitate. Should you knock? You approach the heavy metal door and peer around.

A whistle comes from your left and you turn as Sy appears from around the side of the building. His face is darkened above his beard and around his hairline with the residue of his work. The faint outline of safety glasses leaves a lighter patch in the middle of his face.

“Hey,” his voice is sonorous as he holds a pair of gauntlets. “Everything okay?”

“Um,” you blink at him then look back at the car. “Yeah, uh, my brother forgot his lunch.”

You hold up the bag in your hand. He nods, his face placid. Impossible to read. In his leather apron and with his thick arms bulging under his sweaty tea, he reminds you of a dwarf in a Tolkien tale. You gulp and fidget.

“Real nice of you to drop that off,” he says as he comes closer, “you’re real sweet like that.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” you clasp your wrist and sway nervously.

“Want me to take it into him? Wouldn’t want ya ruining your clothes with all the fire.”

“Er, I... if you don’t mind.”

“If you’re askin’, I don’t mind,” he holds out a large hand, “I’ll get him that.”

“Right, thanks,” you put it in his hand as he stares down at you, his gaze as hot as the torch he works with.

“It’s nothing at all,” he assures.

You smile nervously and back up as he towers over you. You rub your throat and look around again. You feel bad not offering now.

“Mom said if you wanna come for dinner, we’ll have extra,” you say.

He hums and puts his gauntlets against the bottom of the container as he holds it in both hands, making it seem tiny.

“Won’t say no to dinner with a pretty girl,” he intones.

Your eyes flick up and meet his. No, your mom invited him. He’s just being nice, right? The way he always is, at least when he bothers to speak up. Maybe he's even talking about her.

“I should... go,” you point with your thumb.

“If you say so,” he agrees, “drive safe.”

“Will do,” you spin and scurry off. Oof, you are so friggin awkward you could just--

You trip and stagger, keeping yourself on your feet. You cringe and turn back, giving a wave to assure him you’re not a total loss, then open the door. You keep your head down, refusing to look at him as you buckle in.

Maybe you can convince your mom to let you eat in your room.

#captain syverson #dark captain syverson #dark!captain syverson #captain syverson x reader #sand castle #drabble #series #my girl #au

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ilovepapahet · 2 months ago

Text

James Hetfield HeadCanons

Black Album or 1991 another one of my favourite eras (ngl maybe my favourite) he’s so intimidating and I love it, I don’t know what it is about him he’s stunning

but anyways I’m doing hc’s for Black Album/1991

————————————————————————

SFW

From the outside people just see him as this intimidating grumpy guy who you’d want to stay away from but when he’s with you alone he’s the sweetest guy ever

he’s quite literally a big house cat (at least what I’d call him) he’s such a softy and loves laying with you or laying his head on your chest because in his words “you have soft tits”

he loves holding your hand when you both are out in public

he loves showing people that your his (I feel like just in general he does) he’s following you around the clothing store and when you show him a shirt or pants you like and you’d ask him if you’d look good in them

he’s giving you the best compliments and saying you should get them but if your think there to much money he’ll get the for you

and in saying that he spoils you with clothes and food and make up

not to the point where people think your using him for his money (obviously) but you do joke that he’s your sugar daddy

he’ll ask for your input on lyrics he’s been working on or riffs and when Nothing Else Matters came out and he told you he wrote the song for you

he got all red and flustered cause he thought you might have thought it was corny but you proved him wrong

he loves so cuddle with it’s his favourite thing he’s nuzzle his head into your hair or neck

NSFW

He’s rough don’t tell me no

he’d hold your hips in a death grip to the point where it leaves bruises as he pistons his cock into your pussy

He’ll say the most filthiest thing to you telling you your such a slut or a needy whore

and you love it

he’d grab your face (not hard) and make you keep eye contact with him when you cum he’ll also choke you (lightly) when he’s about to cum

or he’ll choke you when he wants you to be quiet but that’s only if your at the studio with him or in a hotel room (or literally anywhere backstage) he’ll tell you to shut up as if you could but it’s not your fault he’s fucking you like a mad man

he’ll use cuffs on you (I feel like in this era this is where he uses cuffs and toys and I heard somewhere in a interview James said he liked cuffs but I don’t remember if he said he liked using them on himself or someone else)

he’ll cuff you or himself to the bed and if it’s you he’s thrusting painfully slow into you and you’d whine because your not getting the satisfaction you need

hickeys everywhere your hickey central

he loves them oh so much seeing you marked up by him gets him going

breeding oh my god breeding telling you he’s going to pump his babies into you so your his

he loves to see you coved in his cum

on your face on your tits on your tummy he loves to see it practically painting you in his seed

he’s also definitely improved on after care

he’d clean his cum off of you with a soft warm towel or give you a bath to relax you after such a rough session and than gently kiss you all over and cuddle you tracing weird shapes into your skin

————————————————————————

I ❤️ 1991 James Hetfield

#Forever and always #he’s so cowboy #james hetfield #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield smut #metalica #james hetfield x you #james hetfield fluff #james hetfield head canons

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giveafike · 2 months ago

Note

can you do the sfw alphabet for benny too just because the prompts are soooo cute and fluffy 😭 part 2 was so good btw!!! ur v talented i’m jealous

TLDR: SFW alphabet! I borrowed the format from other SFW alphabets I've seen round here! Also lwky long sorry again guys. BUT HAPPY BDAY BEN DAY WOOHOOO

Warnings + Content Ahead: fem reader. SFW, mild swearing (that's my bad) - no real warnings, I don't think?

Azzie Notes ✚: HIII!! i love u sm. I fear...I'm writing part 3 of Game, Set, Match by popular demand (another surprise!) 😭😭 I'm so happy it's getting love tho, that's my first baby on here fr, she's doing well for herself!

I am NOT a good writer, I literally start writing and then jump ahead and on a whole other plot, it takes me ages to fill the plot in the middle. I just want them to kiss n shit bro wdymmm they need to flirt 😭? But ty sm for the compliments and the love!

Also Sorry I take SO long to write stuff bro but I really am swamped - IRL is STRESSSINGGG me out atm (I am FUCKED!), I love sitting here and writing and hashing everything over n over to make sure it's good and adding bits in and I'm not making any mistakes and all that. ANYWAYS!

Anyways, this should go wo saying: all assumptions and guesses, girl idfk anything!!! Shits lwky kinda canon, idk I’m just daydreaming!! Enjoy!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Ben’s not overly clingy, but he’s naturally affectionate in an easy, effortless way. In public, he loves to kiss your forehead, temples, or the top of your head. He might sling an arm around your shoulders or hold your waist when you’re together. He’s also big on playful touches, holding your hand, squeezing it gently, or resting his hand on your thigh while driving. He def likes it when you're holding onto his arm or leaning into him, it makes him feel good knowing you're reaching out for him just as much as he does for you. He’s tactile in a casual, unspoken way, always reaching out to connect with you.

He’d call you simple pet names or silly nicknames, nothing too over the top. When he’s talking about you in interviews or with friends, it’s always, “My baby did this” or “My girl said that” with that casual and proud tone that shows how happy he is to have you in his life and to show you off.

Ben’s love language is just as much about thoughtfulness as it is physical affection. He’s always on the lookout for things that will make you smile, whether that's chocolate that you both like or buying you Sonny Angel dolls or Miffy collectables when he’s on tour. When he gets back, he’ll sit you between his legs while you open them, playing along with you as you guess what’s inside, laughing at how happy you are. He'd feel like the world's best boyfriend seeing how excited and happy you are, like damn I did well this time, I need to do even better next time.

And if you need something for an event, like a dress or accessories, he’s on it immediately, finding the nicest options, and spoiling you with little jewellery pieces just because. I feel like he'd even download Pinterest and follow your boards so he knows what you're into and he'd walk into shops and stores showing them the Pinterest boards and your selfies, like "Okay so this is my girl, do you think she'd pick this?" He loves surprising you, especially when he knows you’ll be excited.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

We all know Ben to be very agreeable and social amongst so many people so I think if you were to start off as friends, he'd be constantly trying to make you laugh, bantering, teasing you and have casual touches like bear hugs when he sees you, fist bumps, hi-fives; the whole lot.

I think he'd want his partner to be able to riff back and forth with him - make jokes, mock and trashtalk him a bit but also support him and keep him smiling. I imagine on his off days when he has a bunch of things to do, like cleaning his car and grocery lists, he'd want you to tag along and bribe you with food, not that you needed a bribe. As your friendship deepens, late-night deep convos where you both open and more intimate interactions are common, like leaning on his shoulder, hugging his arm, wrapping his arms around your shoulders or lying down on your lap.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

I don't think Ben's the type to constantly initiate cuddling and spooning, but if you curl up beside him, his arms are around you instinctively and immediately.

After a tough match or a long stretch of tour, he might collapse onto the couch beside you, resting his head on your shoulder, craving your warmth. He loves it when you play with his hair or plant soft kisses on his head, it’s a quiet way for him to recharge.

On days when you’re feeling down, he’ll be the one letting you curl up on his chest, holding you close, rubbing your back, and kissing your temple.

During movie nights, he’ll keep an arm lazily draped across the back of your seat, his hand occasionally running down to your waist to pull you closer. He loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder, looking up at him with that soft smile that melts his heart every time.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Ben has said before that he can’t cook too well, but I think he’s downplaying it. He’s the type who can whip up something surprisingly good, especially if it’s a laid-back date night at home or after you’ve had a long day. His go-to (especially if you're rushing to college or work) is probably a smoothie—he makes a mean one.

But if he tried something delicious on tour and thought you’d love it, you can bet he’d try recreating it even if it takes way longer than it should. The recipe says 45 minutes? He’s probably spending three hours to make sure every little detail is perfect, especially if it’s for you. You might find him deep in concentration, the kitchen a bit messy, an apron poorly tied around his waist, but smiling at himself for nailing that final touch. He's even more proud when he sees you enjoying it.

On days when you’re cooking or baking, Ben’s your eager sous-chef. He’ll lean on the kitchen island, talking about his day, tasting what you’re making, and sneaking in little hugs from behind. Expect him to get playful and enthusiastic, acting like he’s in a cooking competition, throwing out “Yes, Chef!” and “Taste and stir? You got it, Chef!” with that cheeky grin of his.

When it comes to cleaning, though, he’s a bit more of a messy guy. You might find his sweaty kits or gear tossed on the floor after a long day of practice. But the minute you call him out, he’s on it, throwing it in the washing machine without hesitation, and eventually, he won’t even need to be told. He's just a big, goofy kid.

As for settling down, Ben wants it one day, but not just yet. He’s got a lot of life to experience with you by his side, whether it’s chasing adventures, or just living in the moment together. He loves the idea of marriage and kids down the line, but he wants to make sure that when that chapter comes, he’s ready and settled enough to be fully present. For now, he’s focused on making memories and achievements, but when the time is right, he’ll be all in for the next big step.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If Ben had to end a relationship, I think he’d do it with honesty and respect. He’s not one to ghost or avoid confrontation, so he’d sit down and have a mature conversation. He’d choose a calm, private space, somewhere that feels safe. He'd let you know that he cares and loves you but you're both in different directions with different needs. He would want to part on good terms. He’d make sure you feel heard and understood, and hope to stay civil and supportive.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ben takes commitment seriously and doesn’t want to rush into it too fast. He wants to be sure of the relationship’s foundation before even thinking about marriage. He believes in growing together first.

Once he’s ready, though, he’d propose in a way that feels meaningful to both of you. No grand public gestures, just something intimate, maybe a quiet beach walk at sunset, or a cozy evening at home, where it’s just the two of you and the life you’ve built together.

I can imagine him getting your friends and family to help set it up, let them in on it and get their approval, but the moment would be about only you two, nothing and no one else.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Ben is incredibly gentle, both physically and emotionally like super, super sweet and kind. He’s always mindful of his strength and size, so his touches are light and tender, like brushing a strand of hair behind your ear or softly tracing your fingers when you hold hands. He'd talk to you in a softer voice than what he uses with his friends or during press conferences, he knows you hear him without needing all the extra noise or refined answers.

Emotionally, if Ben has learned anything from tennis, he’s more than patient and understanding. If you’re upset or feeling low, he’ll give you space to express yourself, asking, “Do you want to talk or just need a hug?” He’s always there, never pushing, but always ready to support you however you need. Even if he's away, he knows it can be hard and difficult but he'd send you gentle, sweet voice messages and videos, and if possible even call, just to remind you that you're always on his mind and in his heart.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ben loves hugs, but they’re more of a casual, comforting thing than a constant need. He'd love the feeling of you hugging him, nestling and melting into him, your arm barely wrapping around him.

His bear hugs are warm, firm, and reassuring like he’s grounding you in the moment. He’ll give you a tight squeeze when he sees you after being apart or after a long day, pulling you close with a smile. If you’re having a rough time, his hugs linger a little longer, with a few kisses into your hair, making sure you feel safe. He’s not one to initiate a hug every five minutes, but when he does, it’s like being wrapped in warmth and love.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Ben wouldn't rush to say “I love you,” but once he’s sure of his feelings, he’s not afraid to express them. It’ll likely come out naturally during a quiet, intimate moment, maybe during pillow talk when you’re both just lying in bed, talking about everything and nothing with a few jokes that make you both tear up laughing, clutching your sides and sweet sentiments. “You know I love you, baby, right?” he’d say softly, his eyes soft and serious.

After that, he’d say it often, but always when it feels genuine, never just out of habit, but because he truly means it every time. He wouldn't be able to end a phone call or text you goodnight without saying it, and if you didn't say it, he's ringing you back until he hears it from you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ben is secure in himself and in your relationship, so jealousy isn’t a huge issue for him, he’s confident in what you share, but he’s definitely not above feeling a little territorial from time to time. Especially if someone’s getting too friendly with you. In those moments, you’ll feel his presence shift subtly, he’s stepping in closer, maybe pulling you by your waist or slipping his hand around your lower back, fingers pressing a bit more firmly than usual. A kiss on your cheek, sending a clear message without making a fuss.

He’s not one to let jealousy turn into drama, though. He’ll tease you about it later, flashing that grin of his, saying something like, "You just have that effect on people, don’t you?" with a playful wink, but there’s a glimmer in his eyes that tells you he’s serious about keeping what’s his. He’s protective of what’s his, especially when it comes to you. He likes knowing that people can see how much he cares about you and that you belong together. And when the world sees it, he feels even more secure in the bond you two share.

If it ever really bothered him, he wouldn’t bottle it up. Instead, he’d bring it up later in private, maybe when you're together after a long day. “Hey, just so you know, it got to me a little earlier. I know you didn’t do anything, but…” His voice would trail off, a little sheepish, but he’d look you in the eye, wanting to clear the air. You'd reassure him with words, kisses and cuddles.

He'd feel so good when you are talking about him or introducing him by calling him "my man" or "my boyfriend"; "my" anything really. It shows he's yours, just as much as you’re his. It’s a quiet reassurance for him, something that makes his chest swell a little every time. You’d probably notice that his mood lightens immediately, his arms pulling you in closer, maybe pressing a kiss to your forehead, mumbling something like, "Yeah, that’s right. I’m your man" with his big, gummy smile. He’d feel all the tension at ease, knowing that in your eyes, he’s your person, your only person, and that’s more than enough to keep him grounded.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He wouldn't often be the one to pepper you with kisses all the time, but after a great win or a long time without seeing you or sometimes, just because, he would kiss you all over.

Ben’s kisses are playful and sweet, starting as quick pecks that sometimes turn into more passionate moments when the mood is right and when you're both alone. He loves kissing your forehead or the top of your head, there’s something incredibly tender about it that feels both protective and loving. It’s his way of saying, “I’ve got you” without using words.

He’s also big on a quick peck of your cheek or lips when you’re least expecting it, just to get a smile out of you. He finds joy in kissing your nose, too, making it a little game where he tries to make you laugh, and you both end up giggling.

As for being kissed, he loves it when you surprise him with soft kisses on his jawline or neck. You’ll notice him pause, eyes closed, savouring the moment.

There’s a gentle smile tugging at his lips as he revels in the affection, a warmth spreading through him that speaks volumes about how cherished he feels. These little gestures mean the world to him; they’re reminders that he’s loved and adored.

He also enjoys being kissed in unexpected places. Like the small of his back when he’s cooking or when you lean in to whisper something silly in his ear and kiss his earlobe. Or perhaps, when you kiss his chest, telling him it's you "kissing his sweet and kind heart". It catches him off guard and fills him with joy, making him melt and pull you in for a tighter embrace. He’s all about those intimate, tender moments, especially when he can feel your love radiating through each kiss and sending shivers through him. Each one leaves a mark on his heart, creating a tapestry of affection that strengthens his pure adoration for you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

No secret that he's great with kids! They prob gravitate to his silly personality and easy-to-climb frame, he's like a walking-talking jungle gym. It makes your heart swell seeing him sign tennis balls and photos for children at tournaments or when he's spending time with family, getting tackled and jumped by all the kids.

He’d be the type to show them how to ride a bike, to juggle or teach them some fun tennis tricks, maybe a little impromptu match in the backyard. Ben would be attentive and patient, showing them the ropes with a kind heart. I imagine with older kids, he'd approach them in the same way Bryan had with him; supportive and kind, never too pushing.

When Ben sees the joy in their eyes, it makes his day, and you can’t help but adore him even more watching him with kids, knowing he’d be an amazing dad someday.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Ben are a beautiful blend of coziness when you get to spend them together. He’s not much of a morning person, but he loves waking up next to you. He's the type to set his alarm a bit earlier than necessary to spend his first few moments with you. His first instinct is to pull you closer, kiss your hair a few times, bury his face in your neck and inhale that comforting scent that makes the morning feel a bit brighter. He’d probably mumble something sweet, still half-asleep, cautious not to wake you up.

He’d take time to sit with you in the mornings during breakfast, talking about the day ahead or sharing funny stories from the previous day. He's just so happy to spend his first moments talking to the love of his life, he'd probably have a stupid smile on his face, never breaking eye contact.

If he’s on tour or has a busy schedule, he’ll make sure to carve out that little slice of the morning with you, maybe slipping a note in your bag or sending you a video in your timezone to wish you a good morning to remind you of how much he loves you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Ben are all about winding down and enjoying each other’s company after a long day. He’d love to create a cozy atmosphere, dimming the lights, maybe lighting some candles or making popcorn for movie nights. You’d often find him on the couch with you, his arm draped around your shoulders as you watch a few episodes of your favourite shows, maybe even just watching TikToks together. He might tease you about your choices or how weird your FYP is, but he loves seeing your eyes light up as you share your favourites or laugh loud with your head thrown back.

On nights when he’s feeling particularly affectionate, he’d turn it into a stargazing adventure. If the weather’s nice, he’d grab a blanket, leading you outside to lay beneath the stars, pointing out constellations, and sharing silly stories about life on tour. He’d wrap you in his arms, resting his chin on your head, making you feel safe and cherished as you enjoy the tranquillity of the night.

If you’ve had a tough day, he’d be all about pampering you, running you a warm bath or preparing your favourite snacks, knowing that sometimes the little gestures mean the most. And when it’s time to sleep, he’d pull you close, his body instinctively finding yours as you drift off, feeling that warm sense of security and safety wrapped up in his embrace.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Ben takes his time when it comes to opening up, but he’s genuine about it. He's never faking his emotions or what's going on in his mind but some things would be kept away until he's ready and trusts you. I think he’s the kind of guy who enjoys those late-night conversations when the world feels quiet and safe, and that’s when you’d get to know the real him, the hopes he has, his fears, and what really drives him.

He’d probably start with lighter topics, like his favourite childhood memories or funny stories from the road, allowing you to ease into the more profound conversations naturally. As he sees your genuine interest in him, he’ll begin to reveal more, like his dreams for the future or moments that shaped him into who he is today. He’d appreciate your patience and understanding, wanting to feel secure in the connection before diving deeper into the heavier stuff. He'd want you to feel the same, ease him into the person you are today, with your fears, faults and all. Knowing you trusted him to share some of your troubles and past would make him feel incredibly warm, feeling your relationship grow tighter and closer. He'd never want you to go through anything like that when you're with him or feel those emotions again, so he'd be very conscious and make it a known effort.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Ben is generally laid-back and has a chill demeanour, especially since tennis made him that way to keep his cool, making it hard to rattle him. He’s the type to take a deep breath and laugh off minor annoyances, preferring to focus on the positives rather than letting small things get under his skin. He’d rather tease himself than get upset, often finding humour in the chaos, which makes him an excellent partner during stressful times.

However, if something really bothers him, he won’t shy away from addressing it. He believes in open communication and would prefer to have a calm conversation about what’s troubling him rather than letting it simmer inside. You’d find him sitting down with you, holding your hands and discussing feelings with sincerity. His patience extends to those he cares about, he understands that everyone has their off days and is more than willing to listen, offering support instead of anger.

Ben’s the type to remind you that it’s okay to feel frustrated or upset, and he’ll be there to help you work through it, showing that his patience isn’t just for himself but for you as well. He'd even take you to a rage room or find other outlets if you needed support.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I think Ben would have notes in his phone about you. If you mentioned something while he's on tour whether it's on call or text, it'd go straight into his notes. If you're giving him a shopping list while he's abroad (like, K-beauty products or Japanese stationary), you'd need to send photos and the full brand name and all, otherwise, the poor guy gets stressed and panic buys stuff.

If you asked him to run and get micellar water, he definitely bought all sorts of sparkling and still water in a panic. Or if you offhandedly mentioned that your period is coming up, he bought wayyyyy too many sanitary products because "how am I supposed to know what size you are?" - that's when you knew you had your work cut out for you, you have to be specific.

He would be on the plane, going through his notes, picking out what he'll be able to find, maybe books or bracelet charms alongside snacks you liked too. He'd take that role very seriously and it'd be so hard for him not to spoil the surprise and give you a haul of all the little things he bought for you; it'd get to a point that one of his bags would just be stuff for you, it was like Christmas when he came back.

You might find him surprising you with those details, like picking up your bagel and coffee order on a random day or planning a date around something you’ve casually mentioned wanting to try. It makes you feel seen and appreciated, knowing that he values your words enough to remember them. Like you might be doing errands together and then pull up to a place you wanted to try or craved and he'd shrug it off and be like "Oh, what? I just thought you'd want to try their new menu, just remembered you talking about it a few nights ago", but internally, he'd be giggling, fist bumping himself at surprising you again.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

Ben’s favourite moment in your relationship is probably one that encapsulates all the love and joy you share together, something that solidifies you as a partner and his best friend. Maybe it was a spontaneous trip you both took, laughing the entire way, sharing silly snacks, and belting out songs in the car. Maybe the tyre was flat and you were both calm and making jokes about it, messing about while waiting for roadside assistance. Maybe it was playing doubles and having no strategy, just vibes and running all over the place (ahem, Arthur Fils and Ben, ahem). But whatever came your way, you both wouldn't find anger or frustration, you'd balance each other out and make a few jokes, and share a few kisses - you both knew everything was going to be alright.

He cherishes the quiet moments too, like those nights spent cuddled up, sharing your dreams and fears, realising how much you both mean to each other. It’s in those intimate exchanges that he finds solace and happiness, making every moment spent together feel significant.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I think Ben’s protectiveness is rooted in genuine care and affection. He’s not overbearing or controlling, but he’s very aware of your comfort and safety, especially when you're together in public and with his fame. If you're walking through a crowd, his hand is always on your lower back, guiding you carefully. If someone’s acting a little too bold, he’ll step in closer, stand a bit taller, and make it crystal clear that you’re with him, and he’s looking out for you. He's got you covered and doesn't need to do too much to make himself known as your partner.

At the same time, Ben loves it when you show care for him too. Maybe it’s the little things, like checking in after a rough match or reminding him to rest after training, gently massaging him after training, caring about if he ate - all the small things to check-in. He’d appreciate it when you link your arm with his in casual moments or hold his hand in public when you look up at him with your sweet eyes and smile or gently plant a kiss. It’s that unspoken connection that makes him feel secure, knowing you’ve got his back as much as he has yours.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

I believe Ben’s the type who goes all-in. He might not always be extravagant, but everything he does is meaningful and well-thought-out, especially after it's been some time away.

For dates, whether it’s something simple like grabbing a pizza or something more special like a surprise picnic, he’ll plan it with you in mind, always tailoring things to your tastes. If it’s a special anniversary, expect him to remember all the little details, maybe even recreating your first date or trying to recreate a scene from a show or movie that you loved. He’s definitely the type to bring flowers, book reservations, and remember your favourite dessert or place to go.

He’s also great with gifts. He pays attention to the small things you mention, whether it’s that cozy sweater you’ve been eyeing or a quirky little item that made you smile. Sometimes, it is just something as small as having a sweet that you like in his pocket like it's "magic" (he forgot he put it there).

Everyday tasks don’t slip his mind; he’ll pitch in with chores, leave a small note, pack your bag for you or just help out in ways that show how much he cares.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

I think Ben's biggest "ugly" trait is probably his occasional messiness, especially after practice or a match. He might leave his bag somewhere leave sweaty clothes lying around or forget to put his sneakers back where they belong. If he’s been travelling a lot, expect his suitcase to explode all over the bedroom before he finally unpacks, and even that would take you pleading with him to get working on that, which he will do with a pout.

He’s prob also guilty of being a bit too focused on his phone at times, like sitting there mouth agape and a protein bar or something in his hand that he forgot he was eating while he's scrolling through social media or watching match highlights when you just want his attention.

But the great thing about Ben is that if you call him out on it, he’ll listen and make an effort to fix it. He’s not one to get defensive about it; he knows his weaknesses and is willing to work on them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Ben is definitely aware of how he looks (he knows he's fine as fuck), but he’s not vain in an excessive way. He likes to look good and feel confident, especially in front of a camera or at an event, but he’s not obsessed. He’s got his routines, probably a favourite cologne, a specific hair product he swears by to make his curls look good, but it’s all pretty chill. He’ll make sure his outfit’s on point and his shoes are clean, but he’s not going to spend hours in front of the mirror. He just cares to look good with and for you, nothing else.

He’s comfortable in his own skin and loves it when you appreciate his style too, but at the end of the day, he’s more focused on feeling good than being perfectly groomed. If he knows you love the way he looks in a certain outfit, he’ll definitely wear it more often just to see that smile on your face.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Ben is a confident, self-assured guy, but when it comes to you, you’ve become such a key part of his life that he’d definitely feel something missing if you weren’t there. You ground him in a way no one else can, bringing out his softer, more relaxed side and keeping him grounded. After a long tour or stressful match, you're the one he turns to for comfort and calm. He loves having you to share his successes and challenges with, and it’s clear he sees you as his other half.

When you’re away from each other, he’d miss all the little things, your laugh, the way you poke fun at him, the way you cuddle into his side, the way you play with his hair and shower him with words of affirmation. Ben’s a big believer in partnership, and having you around makes him feel like he’s not just navigating life alone but with someone who’s always on his side. So yeah, without you, he’d feel incomplete, like something’s missing from his daily rhythm but it wouldn't be a crippling thing.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

So, Ben talked about how he had never been abroad before tennis, I like to think of him being an appreciative guy so I imagine him collecting memorabilia from his tours. Things like lanyards, tickets, wristbands, photos, and even quirky items he finds in hotels from different countries. He probably has a little keepsake box that he fills up with mementoes from the places he’s been, and he loves sharing these memories with you or telling you stories about those things.

When you’re together, he’ll pull out random souvenirs and tell you the stories behind them, maybe even jokingly offering to “trade” you one of his old match wristbands for one of your trinkets. If you offered to make him a scrapbook and document his silly stories, he'd probably hold that so, so close to his heart, maybe even well up a bit knowing you were gentle and careful in documenting it all.

He loves bringing something from you with him on his travels, whether it's your silly pink headband that you use when you're doing your skincare or a hair tie around his wrist. Whenever he gets the chance, he'll send you silly photos and texts wearing or holding those items, telling you that he misses you.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Ben is generally easygoing, but there are a few things that would rub him the wrong way. He doesn’t like unnecessary drama negativity or toxicity, he’s all about keeping things light and fun, so constant complaining or bad vibes would get under his skin. He also wouldn’t appreciate dishonesty or being led on with games. He values trust and transparency in a relationship especially if he's serious, and if he felt like someone was being shady or playing with his emotions, he’d check out pretty quickly. He doesn't have the time to be doing all that while on tour.

I think he also wouldn’t be into someone who’s overly controlling or doesn’t give him his space. Ben enjoys his independence and time with friends, so he’d need a partner who respects that balance and doesn’t try to keep him on too tight a leash.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Deadass prob sleeps like a rock. Ben is the type of guy who falls asleep fast and stays asleep, once he’s out, he’s out. He loves curling up next to you in bed, and he’ll probably drape an arm over you in his sleep, unconsciously pulling you closer. He’s a deep sleeper, and if he’s had a tough day of training or a long match, he might snore lightly, maybe even sleeptalks a bit.

He likes it when you run your fingers through his hair while he’s falling asleep and murmur words of affirmation and love. It relaxes him instantly, and he’ll murmur little thank-yous, kiss your skin softly or give sighs of contentment until he drifts off completely. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he’ll check on you, making sure you’re comfortable and pulling the blanket over you if it’s slipped off, making sure you're nice and tucked in. Ben might also wake up early, but he’ll stay in bed a little longer, just lying there next to you, content in the quiet moments of the morning.

#benshelton #ben shelton #ben shelton x reader #ben shelton headcanon #ben shelton alphabet

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samirant · 5 months ago

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Dungeon Crawler Carl & You

*taps microphone*

Okay, so I've been going off about Dungeon Crawler Carl for months now and I do not see it stopping at any point, so let's see if I can entice one or two of you to join in my madness.

DCC is Lit RPG and written like a video game come to life, from the point of view of the contestants trapped within the game. There are levels to conquer and loot boxes and quests and an AI running things that has a very tenuous hold on stability to begin with and doesn't keep it for very long.

Carl is just... a guy. He's just a guy with a traumatic backstory that he's squished deep down inside himself because he doesn't like drama and he thinks he's doing just fine because it's done, you know? It's in the past, can't change it, can't hurt him anymore.

(It can hurt him. It does hurt him.)

The world as we know it is destroyed in a split second, Carl surviving by mere happenstance and the only reason he goes into the dungeon is that he will literally freeze to death otherwise. At no point is this guy searching for glory or thinking he's a savior, he's just trying to survive another day. That Carl happens to have his ex-girlfriend's prize-winning tortie Persian cat with him is a coincidence - and it turns out to be his major lifeline in the entire series. Princess Donut is his partner in crime, his bestie for life and if he ever loses her, he will lose everything. Goodbye to the last vestiges of his sanity.

The first couple levels are pretty contained, Carl & Donut learning the ropes and how to survive every encounter with increasingly powerful enemies who want nothing more than to see them dead, the eyes of the universe and the corporations running the shitshow ever focusing on them and trying to eke out as much profit as possible at the same time.

Then they meet other survivors - both good and misled - and the beauty of humanity comes out, the sacrifices they are willing to make for one another, the knowledge that they aren't likely to survive, but they make the right choices anyway because dying might be bad, but letting each other down is worse.

The secondary characters grow in complexity with every level. Where it was once just Carl & Donut, it becomes dozens of characters, from all over the world, all of them gifted in their own way, all of them fighting as best they can, some of them betrayed, some of them dying, some of them choosing to go out on their own terms. Men and women and animal alike, they are individual and committed to the greater good.

Matt Dinniman has written a series that takes an emotional toll on its readers: pain, loss, horror, humor, desperation, walking through life with an unrelenting grief. There are dick jokes and drug-dealing, lava-spitting llamas and riffs on Wonderwall and lines like: Trauma does that, I thought. It's an explosion with your heart at the center. It changes everything all at once.

Also, there are velociraptors.

And a decapitated, talking sex doll head that wants to kill everyone's mothers.

It's a LOT of stuff going on, all right?

And just as you think the story can't get any better, enter Jeff Hays. Our audiobook narrator, our man of a hundred distinct voices. Good god, he's phenomenal. I've listened to so many books and while there are some very talented narrators out there, Jeff Hays leaves them in the motherfucking dust. I honest to god thought he was using an app to manipulate his voice for different characters until I saw him narrating in real time and I was utterly blown away by his talent.

The combination of this story by Matt Dinniman and narration by Jeff Hays has me going back, time and time again. I recommend the experience wholeheartedly and hope you'll give it a chance.

#dungeon crawler carl #matt dinniman #jeff hays #soundbooth theater

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puuta-heinaa · 8 months ago

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Joker Out, Paris (Café de la danse) 22.3.2024

I arrived at the venue around 14ish, and was third to last in the EE queue. However queueing is part of the party! I exchanged sooo many bracelets and met amazing people, some of which I just met that day, some I knew from Discord or tumblr or earlier gigs, couldn't have been happier. Got selfies with Bojan and Jan?? Hug from Bojan??? HELLO. That would never happen in Finland. I described his hug as jämäkkä and turvallinen, which roughly translates to sturdy and safe.

Some of the bracelets I made for the concert!

Met someone in the queue who had hawk's eyes and who encouraged me to go and ask for a selfie with Jan, and later on she spotted Bojan on the street 100 m before everyone else did. I had a chance to give Bojan 3 2 ananaslonkero -bracelet that I'd made, with a tiny drink charm. If the main joke in fandoms is that a hug from your blorbo would cure you? well it's true. Getting a hug from Bojan removed some stiffness between my shoulder blades that I didn't even know was there. It was literally easier to breathe after the encounter. I also kept vigorously shaking for 3-5 minutes afterwards, so much that some people asked if I'm ok. Just released years worth of trauma ig. Also LOTS of happy hand stims throughout the day, my autism was showing lol.

Jan was outdoors SMOKING!!! And Bojan had charmingly dirty hair! He was taller than I had thought.

ANYways the gig !! I ended up on Jance side, which was nice as I was on Kris' side in Helsinki. Whole stage was about as wide as K-18 section at Kultsa, and I think they suit better on smaller stages.

We got Vem da Gres and Gola in soundcheck! I was wearing Vem da gres -bracelet that I got in Helsinki a few weeks ago and thought about that person for a few seconds!

Gola was ok. Bojan got disney mickey ears, and he was wearing my 3 2 ananaslonkero bracelet. Bojan also got a maca plushie that he was NOT scared of, he even made it fly.

Kris left the stage as soon as the last notes of Gola were over, other boys stayed jamming in accelerating speed for couple of more minutes. I showed them my UM sign that only read "I want to sing UMAZAN" at that point. :')

20h02 was ok, didn't connect with their music at all though. JC Stewart seemed a bit sick, but sounded good nevertheless. Finished my sign.

They started with Katrina and Bele Sanje, and people were singing even guitar riffs along. Dopamin hit like dopamine followed by Ne bi smel, Nace was staring at me several times during those songs.

Liinu's superb edit of staring sc Nace and struggling Kris and Arcti's edit about Jan's forgotten library books made my day

People were already singing along to Sta bih ja, and Bojan was sooo happy (and sweaty. We were all very sweaty, the concert hall was ridiculously warm.). Kris disappeared for a moment in the beginning of Sta bih ja, and Bojan looked like a lost puppy (wait, where is kris?? about 5-10 seconds into sta bih ja). Bojan said Kris didn't like how Jan played the riff and that's why he left the stage :P. Jan flipped a bird to him.

Decibels raised by about 20 when they played Ona and Demoni. Turns out they might be the easiest to sing along for absolutely everyone, not just for people who speak Finnish. Bojan looked me directly into eyes during second verse of Demoni for several seconds, and I felt so seen (in a good way). EE was definitely worth its price.

In Helsinki I felt like the setlist was over before it even started, but in Paris it felt more like we were really dancing and playing until the stars fade. I think it had something to do with how much they interacted with each other and with the public during each song. In Helsinki they seemed like they had forgotten how to be on stage, and there was just TOO MUCH SPACE, whereas Paris had Nordic Tour energy.

They all moved a LOT on stage!! Kris was on jance side several times! Nace had a mating dance thingy going on with Kris at least twice, Jan once. Jan interacted with the public on Kris's side a few times. Bojan almost run into Kris at one point - no wonder he caressed Kris's arm to let him know he's there before grapping his hips?? and dancing behind him??? during Behind those eyes. It's cafe de la danse after all.

Def thinking "THIS is how we'll trend on tumblr tonight" right after the famous dance

Everybody's waiting and soooooo many people raised hands when Bojan asked in his spiel before the song if anyone here suffers from panic or anxiety attacks, and I think it made everyone feel less alone. He sang I'm the problem it's me -line to make things a bit lighter before proceeding to the song.

We got Omamljeno Telo and I felt SOOOO HAPPY (but also sad for Moonu) but also SOOOO HAPPY it was on the setlist, I think I screamed VITTU JES on top of my lungs (manifesting it for Ruisrock huh). Famous water spray on Jan during OT, and it shows I've grown old, because instead of "yeeeess I want Bojan's spit on me" I went "rat disease, why am I not wearing a mask".

Everyone sang along during CD, not in French though even if there was a fanproject French translation published a whole 28 hours before(....). Plastika hit like a hammer once again, but I think I was already waiting and stressing for UM, so I didn't mosh for example. Which, good idea, because my neck was soooo sore after Helsinki.

Bojan announced the karaoke song, and asked which versions we have today. He saw my sign, asked "Slovenian version?", to which I "said" (from 4th row on Jan+Nace side) Finnish version, and he heard it and corrected himself and said perfect. I was not afraid at all even if I knew I'm probs going to sing in front of about 500 people in 5ish minutes???? How??? I'm usually a ball of anxiety but here I was just proud and excited to sing my version of it.

I loved the Bretogne/French version (I've still no idea what were the words, but it rhymed super well and she sang well, but that was def NOT paris region French), cringed at some of the "translations" because they did not fit the lines and did not rhyme, sang along to Slovenian versions in Finnish, felt bad for one of them as the karaoke singer started at the wrong moment and Bojan spent most of their special moment trying to orchestrate the band.

When Bojan approached with "I think we still have a Slovenian version, OH NO, A FINNISH VERSION" I chortled, and felt the last bits of nervousness disappear. (Cue "some boat, titanic, oh no".) I had my ACTUALLY finger pointing moment, which, on point with my personality, telling him it's a hybrid version. I don't know what he meant with SUOMI SAA, but it was NOT full-on Suomi SAATANA, that much is certain. I quite like the idea/interpretation he was making a pun with SAA(tan)Are you ready? But who knows. Sad about missed chance to answer "ArE YoU???" now that I think about it, but at least I wasn't the only one who failed the moment :') . Speaking of cursewords though, a histronic youngster next to me did shout vittu though! I loved my spot but she was super annoying throughout the evening.

The Finnish version is in the beginning of this one, and the Arabic version right after Finnish version is AMAZING. The French version is on the first part, as well as Bojan going "uuu Finnish version? perfect".

Started in Slovene, which made him have a Ok?? face, but when I switched to my own Finnish version that rhymes with the Slovene version, he raised his brows and seemed so impressed that I just nodded to him, sending telepath(et)ic messages that yes, our languages match and rhyme, about time you collaborate with Jere. I think he remembered I asked for a hug in the afternoon, because he did not hug everyone during karaoke. Afternoon hug was better btw.

I love his little surprised smile right when I finish the first Finnish line on this one

I usually think quite a lot about how other people perceive me, but now I didn't give a single fuck, just enjoyed being the main character for 20 seconds, having this interaction with my blorbo. Forever grateful for the 4 different angles I received from friends I made in the queue, and 1 from a random guy who asked me after the concert if I'd like to receive a video he took of me singing. Even Vita was filming the whole thing with her big light + camera + phone ensemble. I often sing in my car, and even IMAGINING i'm singing karaoke makes my voice suddenly tiny and weak and compressed, so I'm overflowingly glad it went this well, you have no idea even if I've just bragged about it for 4 paragraphs.

I later realised I was the only one who didn't hold the mic themself, this is a clear example how I objectify the boys, seeing Bojan just as a mic stand.🫣😵‍💫

I got fluent Kiitos from Bojan, that guy needs to move to Finland he speaks Finnish so well. Also LMAO I forgot to sniff him in the afternoon, now I'm praying the snifff I took after karaoke wasn't too evident and doesn't show on Vita's video……….. Jere is wrong, Bojan does not smell like shit, but there were no parfume smell either? He just smells like nothing in a pleasant, pheromone rich way lol.

my translation: Sanje so tvojega okusa Aamuihin taas tuoksusi Neula ei haarukassa Sieluni on hukassa Etsimässä tietään luoksesi

I haven't figured how to translate the first line. I've been playing with "Makus' on tarrannut uniini", but it does not rhyme with the og well enough. Otherwise super proud of my version. Neula and haarukka are parts of compass, basically saying the compass is layed on the map the wrong way. 🧭

This is how small the place was??? I was in 3/4th row, and the hat guy in the right corner was right behind me during the concert so the club truly was tiny.

Apparently bubbles were not allowed on stage in Cafe de la danse? But some people had brought their own so we had bubbles anyway.

Jure exchanged his drumstick to a breadstick. I laughed because a) it was a clever pun and b) such a stereotypically French thing to bring a BAGUETTE wrapped in a napkin to a concert. Also no wonder boys are always sick, I don't even want to know how many people touched that bread before it was on stage.

Life is pain (in mouths)

We waited for the boys after the concert outside the venue in the rain, and they walked past quite quickly. Bojan stayed for 30 seconds to take a group selfie. <3

Honestly so happy I traveled there and met amazing people and surpassed myself on so many levels.

I feel like 2004 again, because that's when I last made a post this long on livejournal and also when I last was this hyped about a group.

I loved band's AMAZING OUTFITS in Café de la danse, everyone had some idrija lace on them, and I'm afraid my next special interest will be bobbin lace.

#joker out #cafe de la danse #my concerts #sys tour #umazane misli #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #nace jordan #jan peteh #jure maček #metrijormaus

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astrobei · 2 years ago

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anonymous prompt: “this isn’t byler but do you think you could write some hopper trying to achieve some step-son stepfather bonding time with a reluctant Will?”

As it turns out, in some weird subversion of all of Jim Hopper’s expectations, teenage girls are a hundred times easier to figure out than teenage boys.

El had been a bit of a blank slate at first. She liked Eggo waffles and daytime TV and when Jim put his records on, she didn’t complain. Maybe she just didn’t know that there were other types of music out there, but as far he was concerned, there wasn’t much worth knowing about that wasn’t Jimi Hendrix anyway.

And then things started falling into place a little. El liked Eggo waffles, but she liked them most with the kinds of toppings on top that he wasn’t supposed to technically be eating anymore– whipped cream and candy and enough sugar to induce a heart attack twenty years early.

She liked the daytime TV just fine, but she liked it better when he watched it with her, telling her what all the unfamiliar words meant. Word of the day, he’d said as a joke, when she’d asked what infatuated meant. The irony of that wouldn’t hit him for another year or so.

She liked Jimi Hendrix okay, but he suspects that she actually just liked watching him dance around to the records more than she did any guitar riff, no matter how captivating they might have been. He doesn’t blame her. He’d never claimed to be a good dancer, but he sure could be an entertaining one.

So this is where he stands, currently. Teenage girls are fine. Teenage boys are, actually, a mystery beyond comprehension.

Or maybe it’s just Joyce Byers’ teenage boys that are hard to figure out.

Yeah. That’s probably it.

Jim’s sure he hasn’t been like this when he was younger. He’d been very straightforward about his interests: his dad’s vinyl collection of 50’s rock ‘n roll, the chocolate milkshakes at the local diner, and cutting class to smoke with Joyce Byers under the east wing stairs.

Some of these more so than others, maybe, but they’d been very simple interests all the same. Nicking Marlboros from his dad’s jacket pocket when he wasn’t looking, then slipping them into Joyce’s waiting fingers as she slid into the stairwell next to him. He’s pretty sure his dad knew where the cigarettes had been going, and he’s also pretty sure he didn’t care.

“What are you smiling about?”

Seventeen-year-old Joyce vanishes in a puff of stale smoke, and suddenly, she’s here in front of him again. The real thing this time, not a hazy, memory-worn apparition– faded cotton shirt, plaid flannel pajama pants. Smiling down at him, holding a pan of scrambled eggs in one hand and a spatula in the other.

Jim raises his eyebrows. “Nothing.” He shakes his head as she spoons eggs onto his plate. “I just– I haven’t seen you smoke in a while.”

Joyce huffs out a small laugh as she slides into the chair next to him. It’s early, barely seven in the morning. The kids don’t usually get up until well into the midmorning on summer days like this, so early mornings are for them and them alone. “I’m trying not to. El doesn’t like the smell.”

“Oh. She told you?”

“Will did.”

“Ah.” He takes a careful sip of his coffee. “What about Will? He doesn’t mind it?”

He can’t see Joyce’s mouth behind her mug, but her eyes are definitely smiling. “He doesn’t like it either. He just stopped saying so after a while.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him.”

Joyce laughs again, this time as she squirts a generous dollop of ketchup on her plate. “What, you didn’t kick the habit when you were locked up?”

“Oh, no,” Jim chuckles. “No way. I thought I would, for a while, but– it’s true, you know, what they say about cigarettes being worth as much as gold in there.”

“Really?”

They don’t talk about Russia much– at least not out here. Not in the morning, not after a good night’s sleep, not in the kitchen, where things are supposed to be happy and warm and filled with light. This isn’t the place for it– for things that are dark and cold and desolate, for monsters or funerals or death.

He clears his throat. “Hey,” he says instead, “listen, I was thinking.”

“Oh, yeah? About what?”

“I was thinking, maybe,” he starts, speaking more into the inside of his mug than to Joyce, now. “Maybe I’ll take Will out for the day. Do something together.”

If Joyce is surprised at all, it doesn’t show. “Yeah? To where?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” he admits, and she gives him an amused look. “I wanted to ask you first.”

Now she looks surprised. “What? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Jim shrugs, “he’s your kid! I didn’t want to cross any boundaries, or–” He trails off at the look on her face. “What?”

Joyce ducks her head, smiling softly. “No, that– that’s sweet, Hop. If he’s okay with it, then I’d love for you two to do something together.”

“Really? You think he would?”

“I–” Joyce starts, and then gets a contemplative look on her face. “You know he adores you, right?”

“Please,” Jim snorts, “he’s a sixteen year old boy. He doesn’t adore anybody.”

“Except–”

“We don’t talk about Wheeler before noon, Joyce,” Jim interrupts, and then Joyce is throwing her head back in another laugh. It’s a nice look, Jim thinks, maybe not as privately as he’d like. He’s sure she can tell exactly what’s on his mind.

“Okay! Sorry! But yes, of course. Go have a day out, just the two of you.”

“Okay,” he agrees, then takes a sip of coffee. “Okay. Sounds good.”

—-

The issue here is that given Joyce Byers’ infamous overprotectiveness, he’d thought acquiring her blessing to have a bit of adoptive father-adoptive son bonding would have been the hard part. And now he’s standing in front of Will’s room, hand raised to knock, feeling just about as jittery as he had when he had to give the Wheeler kid the shovel talk.

Both times.

Now or never, Jim, he thinks, because for all of his bravery fighting monsters and Russians and that time he broke his own ankle and ran through miles of snow on foot, this doesn’t compare. This is Will. This is Joyce’s kid. And he doesn’t know why that makes him so nervous, but it does.

You can do it. It’s just a teenage boy.

He sighs, and raises his fist.

“Yeah?” Will’s voice is faint from behind the door. “Come in.”

“Hey,” Jim says, and then steels himself, gathering every remaining bit of courage in his body to say, “you got a minute to talk?”

Will raises his eyebrows. “Sure,” he says. It’s wary, cautious. He sits up further, from where he’d been reclining back on his pillows. “What’s up?”

It doesn’t take a genius to see that he’s on edge. Jim supposes maybe this is a bit out of the blue, so he tries to relax, tries to make sure his body language reads I come in peace. “What are you reading?” he tries, nodding towards the book in Will’s hands.

“Um.” Will turns it over, looks at the cover like he has to remind himself. “It’s Slaughterhouse Five. Jonathan gave it to me,” he says slowly.

Jim lets out a low whistle. “Damn. That’s impressive, kid. Is it any good?”

Will shrugs. “It’s okay so far. I just started though.”

Jim doesn’t know enough about Slaughterhouse Five to keep this conversation going with any merit, so he figures maybe he should just cut to the chase. “Hey, listen,” he starts, and Will’s eyebrows creep a little farther up his forehead. “I was thinking of spending a day out. Go for a drive, grab some lunch. You want to tag along?”

“Oh,” Will says. “Um.” He holds up his book. “I was thinking of getting ahead on this, actually.”

Jim Hopper has braved Russian prisons, secret labs, an underground dimension, his own faked death, and being stood up by Joyce Byers. This is fine.

“Okay,” he says, “that’s fine. No worries.”

“Sorry,” Will adds for good measure, still half-upright on his bed and looking very much like he does not want to be having this conversation.

“Seriously,” Jim says, already backing out into the hallway. “It’s okay. Have fun with the book, kid.”

—-

“He hates me, Joyce.”

Joyce shoots him a look as she climbs into the passenger seat of the car. “He does not hate you, Hop. Maybe you just caught him off guard.”

Jim groans, putting the car in reverse. “I knocked before I went in!”

“Jim.”

“What?”

Joyce pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and drops it into the ashtray. “Please don’t smoke in the car,” she chides. And then, “Well, what did you say to him?”

“I asked him about his book, and then if he wanted to tag along with me while I–”

“Okay, I’d say that caught him off guard a little.”

“How?” Jim exclaims, and then Joyce laughs.

“I don’t know! Will’s just– he needs a second, okay, Hop? Don’t take it personally. I promise he does not hate you.”

“Okay,” he grumbles, as they turn the corner past the high school. “One more shot, and then I’m accepting the fact that both your kids hate me.”

“Jonathan doesn’t hate you either,” Joyce says, but she looks like she’s fighting back a smile. “He just– he doesn’t show affection like that.”

“They hate me,” he repeats, accelerating down the backroad. “They both hate me.”

—-

Attempt #2 goes better. Somewhat.

“Hey,” Jim says as he walks through the door the next evening. Will is curled up on the couch, sketchbook open on his lap. He looks up as the door opens, startling slightly, then relaxes.

“Oh. Hey, Hop.”

Hey, Hop, he thinks. That’s better than Hello, Chief.

“Is your mom home?”

Will shakes his head and looks back down. “She’s at the Wheelers’. She’s having, um. Wine night. With Mike’s mom.”

“Oh, okay.” Jim pauses. “Hey,” he starts, and Will looks back up. “Listen, I don’t suppose you want to watch a movie or something tonight?”

Will blinks. “A movie?”

You’ve come back from the dead, Jim, he thinks. This is just a sixteen year old boy. He shrugs. “Yeah, you know, everyone’s out for the evening. Thought we could make a night of it, just us two.”

“Um.”

“You can pick,” Jim offers, tossing his hat on the kitchen table. “I won’t judge your taste, I promise.”

Will’s lips twitch upwards at the corners, ever so slightly. “I have good taste,” he protests, and Jim shrugs, like sure! Okay! “But I can’t today. Um. Sorry.”

“Oh. Big plans tonight?”

“Actually,” Will starts, pursing his lips. “Mike and I are grabbing dinner soon.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. It’s a bit of a low blow, getting passed over for the Wheeler kid, but it’s fine. Jim can roll with the punches. “Huh. Anywhere good?”

Will shrugs, but he looks like he’s on the verge of a smile. “Just the diner on Main Street.”

“Oh, the diner,” Jim laughs, pulling out a chair. “I used to go there every day when I was your age, actually. Best milkshakes on this side of Indiana.”

“Yeah?” Will puts his pencil down. “What was your order?”

“Ham and cheese. And a chocolate milkshake,” he answers immediately. He dreamt about those milkshakes, thought about them during long, cold nights behind bars, nothing but prison-grade gruel to fill his stomach. Comfort food. The kind of memory you hold on to longer than you’d expect.

“I get ham and cheese too,” Will says, and then he looks a bit surprised at himself, like this was something he didn’t mean to say. “Except I get, um. I get strawberry instead.”

Jim pretends to think it over. “Strawberry’s good,” he admits, “but not good enough.”

“Hey!” Will says, laughing. “Come on. Chocolate is so boring.”

That feels like a win, even if it’s a small one. He’s smiling before he realizes it. Making light banter over milkshake flavors shouldn’t be this exciting, not for someone like him, not for someone who’s been through what he has, but–

“You need a ride?” Jim holds up his car keys, still clutched in one hand. “I can drop you off.”

The smile fades slightly from Will’s face. “Oh, um. Mike’s picking me up, actually. In, like, ten minutes?”

“Wheeler can drive?”

“He got his license last month,” Will says, picking at a loose thread on the blanket. Jim’s first instinct is to protest– something about that’s not safe, and I don’t know if that’s the best idea, but he bites his tongue.

If Mike Wheeler can kill monsters, he can drive a car just fine. Probably.

“Okay,” he says at last, standing up and grabbing his hat. “Have fun, kid. Tell Wheeler to drive safe. Five under the speed limit. It’s my buddies on patrol tonight, remember.”

Will looks like he simultaneously wants to laugh and groan. “Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Hop. I’ll tell him.”

“Have a milkshake for me,” Jim says, then slinks off to his room.

Okay. That could’ve gone worse.

—-

“Okay, I don’t think he hates me.”

Joyce gives him a look like see? “I told you he doesn’t hate you,” she says, reaching across him for the olive oil. “What did you say this time?”

“Something about watching a movie,” Jim says. “I was– God, okay, Joyce, can you take over the onions for me?”

Joyce laughs, and says, teasing, “Broke your way out of a prison but chopping onions is too much?”

“This is why I don’t cook,” he says, then makes his way over to the record player in the corner of the living room. “I’ll take over music duty.”

“Sure,” Joyce calls. “You don’t cook because of onions.”

Steely Dan crackles to life as he turns around. “Oh, yeah,” he grins, “this is it. This is the good stuff.”

“Jim,” Joyce laughs. “What– are you supposed to be dancing?”

Hey, he’s said it before. He’s not the best dancer, but he’s definitely an entertaining one. “Times are hard,” Jim croons along, and Joyce’s laughter grows. “You’re afraid to pay the fee–”

“You’re awful,” Joyce shakes her head, even as Jim grabs a hold of her hands. “And– Hop, my hands are all onion-y.”

He ignores her. “When you need a little bit of lovin’–”

“Ew,” comes a voice from the hallway, and Jim turns around.

“Hey, hon,” Joyce says absentmindedly, dropping his hands and wiping hers on the towel. Onion, she mouths at him. “What’s going on?”

Will shoots him a bit of a strange look. “Sorry. I was just wondering when dinner was going to be.”

“Twenty minutes?” Jim offers, then grins. “Thirty if your mom tries to put me back on onion duty.”

Will crinkles up his nose and turns in the direction of the living room. “What are you playing?”

“I don’t wanna do your dirty work,” Jim belts out in response. Joyce and Will stare, identical dumbfounded expressions on their faces. “Steely Dan?” Jim offers.

Nothing. Apparently he’s dating into a family with zero taste.

“Sorry,” Joyce shrugs. “It’s cute, though!”

Cute! He squints in Will’s direction. “You too?”

Will mirrors Joyce’s shrug. “Sorry. It’s not really my thing.”

“Oh? What’s your thing, then?”

Will stands up a bit straighter. “I don’t know,” he says. “Um. I like The Cure. Stuff like that.”

“The Cure,” Jim muses. “That band, you got the, uh. You’ve got records of theirs, right?”

“Yeah,” Will smiles, then moves forward to sit down at the table. “Jonathan gave me some of his older ones when he left for college so I started, uh. I started collecting them.”

Okay. Okay, he can work with this.

Over Will’s shoulder, Joyce shoots him an impressed look and a thumbs up. You got this, she mouths, and then, aloud: “Hey, I just remembered, guys, I’ve got to go deal with the laundry. Just a second.”

Will frowns. “The laundry isn’t going right now.”

“Okay, then I’ve got to run a load. Be right back,” Joyce says, and then she flashes him another thumbs up and she’s gone, off down the hall.

There’s a moment of silence. Will looks around the kitchen– at the pasta boiling on the stove, the dishes in the sink, the wooden grain of the table. “Okay,” he says after a moment, “I think I should–”

“Hey,” Jim blurts out, “why don’t you, uh. Why don’t you bring one of your records out? You can have a turn.”

Will stops, halfway out of his seat. When he speaks, it’s quiet, a little pleased. “Yeah?”

Jim nods, spreads his hands out. “Show me what you got.”

Will comes back a couple minutes later with a record in his hands. “Um,” he starts, “so this is their newest one, they released it a couple months ago.”

The red of the cover looks vaguely familiar. Jim’s sure he’s seen this one around in the record shops, something like that. “Very interesting,” he says, as Will drops the needle carefully onto it. “This is, uh–”

He knows the band, of course. He’s not that out of touch. But Will’s mouth twitches as he says, “The Cure,” and then, “um. This is one of my favorites so far.”

Jim doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t the guitar. Drums, coming in steady and insistent. He lets out a low whistle. “Alright, wow. Didn’t take you for a rock fan, kid.”

To his surprise, Will smiles. A real smile. “Yeah,” he says, standing awkwardly by the record player. “Jonathan got me into them when I was younger. Um. I guess he liked stuff that had loud guitar and drums and stuff so, you know, I also– I like that stuff too.”

“Loud guitar,” Jim snorts. “Yeah, that sounds like your brother.”

“My dad– um,” Will says, hesitantly. “Lonnie. He hated loud music. The drums and the– I think that’s why Jonathan listened to it so much.”

Right, Jim thinks. Lonnie Byers, an infamously giant piece of work. That checks out. And then, another smaller voice pipes up with You’re the chief of police, Jim. You can get away with–

“Oh, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me,” the song croons, “your tongue’s like poison–“

Will’s eyes widen. “Um,” he says, fiddling with the player. “Um, actually, let’s– I like this other song too, so–”

Jim bites back a laugh. “I like it,” he says, which isn’t a lie. It could grow on him. “The guitar. It’s nice.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jim nods, and then, as the second song starts to pick up– “Will.”

“Hm?”

“Is this a love song?” he grins. “Your second favorite is also a love song?”

“I– no,” Will splutters, immediately turning a brilliant scarlet. “‘Just Like Heaven’ is not a–”

“–I kissed her face and kissed her–”

“Lots of kissing in these songs,” he points out, and Will groans.

“Oh my God, it’s not–! The album is literally called Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me–”

Jim grins. Teenage boys are complicated, maybe, but you can count on them all getting flustered the same way. “I’m just teasing, kid. Could you go get your mom, please, because this sauce is about to burn and I don’t trust myself with it.”

“I wouldn’t trust her with it either,” Will mutters, even as he peers around the corner into the hall. “Mom?”

If Joyce hears him laughing, then– whatever. Jim gets a pass. It was for a good cause.

#hope u guys like this one #!#i've never written hop pov before this was really fun #a fun little challenge #so hopefully i did him justice!#fun sized fics #jim hopper #joyce byers #jopper #byler #crumbs but i feel weird not tagging it #um #will byers #fic #ficlet #?#this got so long help me

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thewebcomicsreview · 7 months ago

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Woah, it's a hamsteak! Bit early this month, maybe they're splitting it into two parts (Edit: Apparently yes, per a newspost). They've been teasing a big [S] page for a while, probably where the game starts in Meat and The Point is revealed in Candy, and these updates seem like they're getting everyone in position for that. We're now done with the Ship and with DIrk, and we won't see either until the [S] comes, but we still need to pick up the kids and see what Karkat is up to, so I'm expecting this is a setup-heavy update for an [S] page...next month, on 6/12? Let's see.

KARKAT: KEPT YOU WAITING, HUH?

Candy Karkat is blatantly Solid Snake and I'm a bit surprised the old team never had him riff a Snake catchphrase. New team popping that cherry right off. Also, wow, Karkles got swole.

MEENAH: took you long enough bossman KARKAT: I THOUGHT I ASKED YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT WHEN WE'RE ALONE. MEENAH: big bossman KARKAT: NOT BETTER. MEENAH: sweetie-pirate KARKAT: BOSSMAN IT IS.

We're just going all-in on the Metal Gear references, but Meenah loses fishpoints for not calling him Big Bass. It's right there, Meenah.

KARKAT: AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED THERE'S AN ESCALATING, LARGE-SCALE MILITARY CONFLICT UNDERWAY;

Is there? I hadn't noticed, because the war is entirely fucking offscreen in HS2, to the point where I'm really unclear on if it's huge open battles (as in the epilogues) or a terrorist insurgency (as implied by Jane's focus on PR, the lack of any on-screen fighting, and even here Karket saying he was blowing up "Crockercorp" supply depots instead of "human" supply depots). "Escalating" is an interesting word, though. I have a theory that Jane and Rose both don't consider any of Earth C's population "Real", and in Jane's mind she's basically just been larping as a bad guy up until her dad died and she got serious, and this is why Jane was seemingly cool with helping Jade raise Yiffy, even though Jade is a commander in the anti-Jane rebel army. Jane's going to just stop being evil on a dime and everyone but Rose and Jane are going to be baffled.

There was a writer commentary where they kept making jokes about doing this, but I guess it's real. Why is the Carapacian naked?

These guys, who are not guaranteed to survive to the end of the update, are already fucking great.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, COMPANIES 1 THROUGH 3 ARE IN PLACE. KARKAT: 4 THROUGH 6 ARE EN ROUTE.

Is this the first 413 in HS2? I'm surprised they're not using 612, the troll number.

KARKAT: ALSO THIS COVERT-OPS SUIT IS TIGHT AS ALL FUCK. MEENAH: well if its any consolation that may be rough for you but its a pretty great time to be your rear admire-all 38) KARKAT: MUCH OBLIGED.

The ship no one expected!

KARKAT: NOT LIKE DAVE. MEENAH: how you feelin about that

I know Karkat hasn't had a lot of screen time in HS2, and I know they've justified why this is coming up now, but as far as Karkat knows Candy Dave A. Married Jade, and then B. Died fifteen years ago. Has this really not come up in fifteen years?

SOLLUX: there's like a bazillion m0oks swarming ar0und my crib and none 0f the grubereats dudes are accepting orders right n0w. SOLLUX: probably 0n account 0f your inc0nvenient ass war. SOLLUX: could y0u pick me something up? SOLLUX: i'm assuming you're 0n your way.

Is this...the first on-screen interaction between Karkat and Sollux since Cascade in 2011? It was worth the wait.

KARKAT: MAYBE YOU'D GIVE MORE OF A FUCK ABOUT THE REPRODUCTIVE FUTURE OF OUR SPECIES IF ARADIA WAS EVER ACTUALLY THERE LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GET SOME. MEENAH: ohhh snapper KARKAT: ANYWAY YEAH I CAN PROBABLY SWING THAT.

This is maybe the most Karkat interaction ever. He's furious for extremely good reasons, he's constantly insulting his friends, of course he'll swing his A-team war truck by McDonalds on the way to the war zone to get Sollux something. Doesn't even occur to him not to.

KARKAT: AND WE NEVER LET IT GO. LOB 4: Well said, sir! KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK. KARKAT: HOW LONG HAVE YOU ALL BEEN LISTENING? TER 2: Pretty much since the beginning, sir!

It's cool and thematic that these guys talk in Dave's colors but I'm unbelievably sad they don't have names.

KARKAT: COMMANDERS HARLEY, MARYAM, AND LALONDE ARE INBOUND, AND NOT LONG AFTER THEY GET HERE THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BATSHIT STUPID!

Last time we saw Vrissy, she was seeing Yiffy for the first time. I was expecting an update following up on that before the big everything coming together, but maybe they won't get a chance to talk yet

Because this sure feels like the last page before an [S]

Edit: But it isn't, the news post said another update this month.

#Homestuck 2

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columbiastapshoes · 9 months ago

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headcanons part 3‼️‼️ crazy‼️

hey guys it’s me the person with the regular posting schedule and normal amount of thoughts about this movie! woo hoo! this one is a bit shorter, my sk8 hyperfixation has been completely taking over my brain LMAO but without further ado here u go!

-columbia has a stuffed animal that she is extremely emotionally bonded to. i’d like to think it’s a rabbit with big floppy ears and it’s made out of that kind of rough towel-like texture ykwim?? but anyways she’s had it since she was little and it’s so dirty and has no stuffing in its neck anymore but she refuses to fix or clean it and just carries it around everywhere

-magenta fucking loves earth candy. homegirl is trying to keep up the “i hate this planet it has no redeeming qualities” act but as soon as someone walks into the room with gummy bears she goes absolutely feral

-frank is scared of cats. yes, i know he has the mannerisms of a cat and that is why it’s funnier to me that when he sees a cat he will just leave the room. but also he’s not like an “AAAAAAHHHH A CAAAT THATS SO SCAARRRYYY” person like he’s trying to be subtle about it and won’t admit to being scared but it doesn’t fool anyone

-brad LOVES 50s love songs and also jazz of all kinds. stole this bit from a fanfic but his nickname for frank is sinatra :3 but anyways he’s always playing an ella fitzgerald or doris day vinyl and humming along to the melody while he reads or does other stuff

-frank either wakes up at 5 am or 2 pm. no in between.

-is columbia a dancer? yes. does she use those skills when she’s just dancing to music by herself? absolutely not. she bounces to the beat like a toddler. i love her.

-frank again :3 that bitch absolutely has pierced ears, belly button, and tongue. the movie isn’t canon and i know what i’m talking about <3

-magenta is goth most of the time but when it gets really hot and she cannot survive in all black she gives up and goes whimsigoth with purples and dusty pinks and browns <3

-rip columbia u would have loved electro swing

-ever wondered how riff got that hunch in his back? i have the answer! when he and magenta were little he tried to cut her hair while she was sleeping and she judo flipped him and it just never healed properly

-i could have sworn i posted this one before but i can’t find it? so im just gonna say it now- after the movie events (in my brain no one dies and brad and janet unofficially move in let me have this) janet is trying so hard to be supportive of everybody and im picturing her and magenta as that customwoodburning clip that’s like “are you a les-bin?” “yes ma’am i am” “AWESOME‼️‼️‼️ 🔥🔥🔥”

-magenta is a witch and has an altar in her room, the first time brad went in there he accidentally bumped into it and was scared that the spirits were gonna be mad and kill him and magenta was jokingly like “yeah. ur dead” and he was like “oh no D:” and she had to clarify it was a joke

-frank reads erotic novels at the dinner table and comments on them out loud 🫶

-columbias favorite animal is a jellyfish. i have no reasoning but nell campbell indirectly talked to me and i have been hyperfixated on this movie for over 2 years so u can trust me on this one

#rocky horror picture show #rocky horror #rhps #rocky horror au #frank n furter #brad majors #magenta rhps #columbia rhps #rocky horror show #janet weiss

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basil-does-arttt · 4 months ago

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I listen to a LOT of music, right? mostly the DMC soundtrack. so heres some shit i just found interesting while listening and noticing stuff, in no particular order:

In Nevan's theme, if you listen really closely from about 1:15 - 1:27, you can hear a background track really similar to 0:31 - 0:44 in Ultra Violet. Its not exactly the same but it was similar enough to make me pause for a minute and go back to listen again. Similar to above, in The Duel, if you listen closely throughout the song you'll notice that guitar riff sounds traumatically familiar to 0:37 - 0:48 in ASSAULT from DMC 2 (aka, that stupid fucking helicopter.) Intentional? Probably not, but i cant listen to that track the same way again lol The choir in Vergil 3 and Devils Never Cry are actually the same, just in Vergil 3 the pacing of it has been shifted a little, and in Devils Never Cry its a little slower also. It has the same notes in the same order otherwise. Also in Vergil 3, have you ever noticed how playful the track seems in parts? Most notably, the beginning? I plan to write a full analysis of all 3 of Vergil's themes in DMC 3, but i just found this interesting to note considering how otherwise serious the fight is. And also in Devils Never Cry, ive noticed the beginning sounds eerily like what you'd hear at a funeral, especially with that church organ in the background. Fitting, for a scene right after Vergil lets himself fall into hell. this one is probably obvious but can go unrealized, but DMC 5's Divinity Statue theme is the only DV statue theme in the series that isn't primarily a chior track. The track "Public Enemy", as it's named in DMC 5, is named "Pubic Enemy" on Spotify. Actually all of DMC 1's soundtrack on Spotify is a long sex joke. (Pubic Enemy, Red Hot Juice, Final Penetration, IM COMING!, and Blue Orgasm)

DMC 3's Mission 4 theme is actually saying all the deadly sins, which took me an embarassingly long time to realize. that squeaky noise heard in the background of EYE OF THE WIND in DMC 2 is actually first heard in ST-07 in DMC 1. For some reason i thought that squeaky noise was a DMC 2 exclusive thing because its just that annoying. Yamato 2 in DMC 4 from 0:15 - 0:50 uses the same kind of violin track that's used in most - if not all - of Arkham's scenes in DMC 3 (a good example being this track from 0:10 - 0:40), which i also find interesting considering how much of a story point Vergil was in that game, and how Yamato in a way represents him in DMC 4. anyway thats all for now i may reblog in the future with more discoveries if i find them :]

#devil may cry #dmc #devil may cry soundtrack #music analysis

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glitterp0prhaps0dy · 8 months ago

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RINGPOPS!?!

ring pops aren't just a sweet treat; they have enchanting effects on pop trolls. Consuming one of these luminous candies could send them into a euphoric high, their colors glowing intensely as they bask in unparalleled joy and vivacity. However, this delight comes with a catch - their perception becomes skewed, their laughter a little too loud, and their dance moves a bit too erratic, leaving them in a blissfully dazed state.

As Floyd descended the stairs, he was met with the surreal sight of Carol indulging in a ring pop, her expression bordering on euphoria. Yet, what struck him even more was the nonchalant attitude of his companions; Barb and Riff were engrossed in their own discussion, seemingly unfazed by Carol's sugary treat.

"So, like, Dad's being totally unfair," Barb complained, her voice laced with frustration as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

Riff, ever the laid-back presence, shrugged in response. "What's the deal with the bat thing anyway?"

Barb sighed dramatically, her annoyance palpable. "I've been dropping hints left and right about wanting a pet bat, you know? But every time I bring it up, Dad shuts it down. It's like he's allergic to fun or something."

Riff chuckled, his eyes hidden beneath the brim of his beanie. "Maybe he's just not a fan of nocturnal roommates."

Barb rolled her eyes, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Yeah, because a king of the rock trolls can't handle a little winged friend. Please."

Rebel, who had been quietly observing the exchange, chimed in with her signature deadpan delivery. "Maybe he's worried you'll name it something ridiculous."

Barb shot her a mock-offended look. "Hey, I have excellent pet-naming skills, thank you very much."

Floyd watched the banter unfold with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment, wondering how he had stumbled into such an eccentric household.

Carol zoomed over to Floyd's side with the agility of a caffeine-fueled squirrel, her eyes twinkling with a mixture of mischief and concern. "Hey there, Pinkie! You're looking all sorts of twisted up. Did you tangle with nightmares, accidentally nudge the doomsday button, or come to the stark realization that our existence is a cosmic joke with the punchline missing?" Her words tumbled out in a rapid-fire stream, leaving Floyd blinking in bewildered silence.

In response, Floyd, still trying to acclimate to Carol's whirlwind presence, simply gestured towards the ring pop she was fervently enjoying. This prompted a pause from Carol, her head tilting in confusion. "The... candy?" she echoed, clearly missing the point of his concern.

Gathering his thoughts, Floyd ventured a question, tinged with apprehension. "Carol... just how old are you?"

Carol struck a dramatic pose, as if she were about to announce the secret to the universe. "Ah, the mystery of my age! Let's just say, I've been around the block fifteen times, but in rock troll years, I'm practically a legendary artifact. Behold, the eternal teenager!"

"YOU'RE FIFTEEN!? AND ON RING POPS!?" Floyd couldn't mask his horror, his voice echoing his shock.

The rest of the group turned to look at him, their expressions a mix of amusement and confusion, as if Floyd had just revealed he believed in mythical creatures.

Rebel, who had been observing the exchange with her usual reserved and unflappable demeanor, finally spoke up. Her voice was calm, almost a whisper, but it cut through the confusion with ease. "What's wrong, Floyd?"

Floyd turned to her, the shock still evident in his voice. "It's... the ring pops. In the Pop Village, they're not just candy. They... they're like, really intense. They make you brighter, happier, but also kind of out of it. It's like being on a constant sugar high but magnified. We're told to stay away from them unless it's a special occasion."

Rebel nodded, her face betraying nothing of her thoughts on the matter. The room fell into a curious silence as everyone processed Floyd's explanation, the seriousness of his tone contrasting sharply with the laid-back vibe of the moment.

Carol chimed in, her laughter echoing through the room like a mischievous melody. "Ring pops are like cocaine for you guys!"

Floyd's eyebrows shot up in confusion. "What's cocaine?"

Carol's eyes widened in mock surprise. "You don't know what cocaine is?" She turned to the others, her expression incredulous. "Guys, we've got some educating to do!"

Riff leaned forward, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Cocaine is a drug, Floyd. It's like... super intense. It makes you feel really energetic and happy, but it's super dangerous. It can mess you up bad if you're not careful."

Barb nodded solemnly, her eyes wide with seriousness. "Yeah, it's not something you want to mess with. Like, at all."

Rebel, as usual, remained quiet but observant, her gaze shifting between the others as they explained. Finally, she spoke up in her calm, measured tone. "So, just stay away from cocaine and ring pops. Got it, Floyd?"

Riff, popping his back with a series of satisfying cracks, casually dropped a bombshell into the conversation. "The only people I know who mess with that stuff are total party animals. You know, like Sid... and Carol here."

Rebel's face instantly shifted, her usually stoic expression melting into one of disbelief, almost as if she'd just witnessed a confession to a high crime. She turned slowly, her gaze fixing on Carol with an intensity that could cut glass. "Explain yourself," she demanded, her voice calm but carrying an edge sharper than any blade.

Without missing a beat, Carol burst into a fit of laughter, her voice filling the room with its wild, untamed timbre. With a flick of her wrist, she tossed a bag of ring pops towards Rebel, the colorful candies flying through the air like a rainbow scattering in the wind. "Catch me if you can!" she taunted, bolting out of the house with the speed of a cheetah.

Rebel, momentarily stunned by the sudden shower of ring pops, quickly recovered her senses. Her eyes narrowed, a determined glint sparking within them as she dashed off in hot pursuit of Carol, leaving the others alone.

Barb, circling back to the conversation that had been so abruptly cut off the night before, turned to Floyd with a mix of curiosity and determination in her eyes. "So, about my question from last night... are you gay?"

Floyd, maintaining his composed demeanor, offered a thoughtful reply. "I really don't care what anyone is. I only care who they are," he said, emphasizing the importance of character over labels.

Barb, undeterred and possibly missing the point, leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "So like... ultra gay?"

At this, Riff couldn't help but interject, an eyebrow arching in amusement and confusion. "Why are you so interested in this stuff, Barb? I mean, last week you asked me a similar question because of my bandana."

Caught off guard and visibly flustered by Riff's question, Barb's cool façade crumbled. She started to sweat, her eyes darting around as if looking for an escape route. Without another word, she bolted upstairs, the sound of her footsteps thundering across the floorboards. The slam of her bedroom door echoed through the house as she yelled back down, her voice muffled by the distance, "I'LL NEVER TELL!"

Floyd and Riff exchanged bewildered looks, a moment of silence hanging between them as they processed the sudden outburst. "Well... that was weird," they both agreed, the understatement hanging in the air, filled with unspoken questions and a shared sense of bemusement at Barb's mysterious behavior.

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This has been my shortest chapter, but i promise its important to the lore of the story for later on!

#trolls #trolls au #trolls fanfiction #dreamworks trolls #trolls world tour #trolls fanfic #trolls floyd #trolls carol #trolls riff #trolls barb #trolls oc #trolls ringpops #ring pop

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