#anyway that was really funny. it literally operated in the rule of threes as well like djgsjshsf

[skrunksthatwunk]

had a very funny experience where someone rb'd a vaguely ship flavored post of mine with smth like "i love a good bromance" and because i get unjustifiably defensive every time someone uses that term (and also bc i like doing this sometimes) i went to their blog to like snoop around a bit and below a couple of posts of calling them bromanced up in the tags there's fanart of them kissing with tongue and i had to pause bc like. shit my bad there cowboy you're not in homophobic denial you do just genuinely love a good bromance

[overdrivecycle]

shining nikki characters with jojo stands

Because I already did LN characters like a year ago so I think it’s finally time for Shining Nikki.

Nikki: I stand by what I said in my last post. I assign Nikki Cinderella, which not only is able to alter the user or others’ facial features, but also change their fate with these facial features according to the rules of physionogomy. I think this applies very well to Nikki, especially the idea of altering fate based on appearances. That’s pretty much the plot of the whole game.

Yexiao: What stand could be more fitting for our timeline hopping girl than Funny Valentine’s stand, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap? D4C has the power to connect alternate universes to another. Also it looks like a rabbit and Yexiao has that one bunny reflection.

Aeon: I was torn between him and Leonid for this stand, but I’m giving it to Aeon because I feel like it better applies to his role in the Ark. Made in Heaven has the power to create new universes by speeding up time really, really fast.

Zoey: I have decided on the Stand Manhattan Transfer for Zoey. Manhattan Transfer has the ability to redirect bullets, but the user can also use its wind reading powers to determine the location and basic details of a target. This is perfect for Zoey, who not only needs to shoot people quite frequently but also had vision problems and could no doubt benefit from the extra help.

Mercury: After some deliberation I have decided that the mysterious and ruthless leader who is well known for employing a poor little meow meow of a man should get the stand of the other mysterious and ruthless leader who is well known for employing a poor little meow meow of a man. Thus, I assign Mercury King Crimson, which can basically skip over short periods of time. Also imagine Vulture with Epitaph.

Qin Yi: This was a hard one, but I think I’ve settled on Dragon’s Dream as a Stand for Qin Yi. Dragon’s Dream predicts the areas in which the user will have the best luck according to the principles of feng shui. This reminds me of Qin Yi, devious guy that he is, constantly predicting his opponents next moves and deciding how best to strike.

Lilith: Lilith gets Magician’s Red, which can summon magic controllable fire. I don’t feel like I need to explain my reasoning for this one.

Loen: This was an easy pick. I assign Loen Emperor, the stand that is literally a gun. It’s just a magic gun. That’s it. I feel like that works considering his whole “Major Snowhawk” backstory.

Caprico: Ok, we’ve only had Smooth Operators for like three chapters, but I feel like it works. Smooth Operators is a colony stand with the ability to alter small details, such as a license plate number or an ID. I can’t quite explain why I picked Caprico but the vibes just fit.

Jiang Beijing and Vivian: I count them as one person. Anyways, ever wondered how they always have their hands on a scoop? I assign one or both of them Hermit Purple, which has the ability to take spirit photographs that can provide important information to the viewer.

[flamona--rowers]

Storytelling 1 - starting out

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 5 years. His name will be Rio.

When we first crossed paths, I was doing my first-ever stand-up comedy show in a tiny little mountain town. I had been doing open mic night for a two months and landed my first opening gig. He was on a first date.

In comedy, you usually dont get an opening spot in your first two months. so how did I? I matched with the headliner on Tinder and asked to be on. Whatever. Sue me incels.

I was so excited for this show that I told every breathing soul about the show. I worked many odd jobs so you could find me at the mountain shop, a local dive bar, and a golf club. Anyone that would listen to a perky 22 year blonde (wasn't tough actually...) knew about the show.

Let me step back a little bit. When I first decided I wanted to do stand up comedy, I googled it. Plain and simple. "How to become a stand up comedian" and the results were flooded by many men (statistically there were other genders too, but lets all be honest on this ratio) "explaining" to me how to do it. At the time, I was happy to listen/read. I did this because I was in the middle of breaking up with a boy I moved across the country with. He found some rock climber that was shorter than me and younger too. And I have one rule in life, don't date rock climbers. Let them have each other. (Actually, i have two rules. the other one is don't trust mustard)

But anyways, Google. One article I read said "Do you have a favorite comedian? Okay. They probably wrote a book about themselves. Read that" and I am sure it had a few other steps but I was undiagnosed ADHD. Im a "first step and figure it out" kind of girl. At the time, I was really into Parks & Recreation. So I looked up Amy Poehler. She had written an amazing book called "Yes, Please" which I do implore any young female comics to read. As I read about Amy's journey from a little girl to a phenomenally accredited writer and comic, I found similarities in our path: all the way up until she joined an improv troupe. So, once again, I went to Google and looked up "Improv Classes near me" and of course, there were a few options of men ready and willing to teach this stepping stone path and class. (no offense to my troupe, they were actually the best people for me to meet and were hilarious in every way).

I immediately signed up and went to my first class: I thought this was going to be a great pilot episode of a TV show by the way (an improv tv show?! how original!)

The troupe I joined was a motley crew, a cast of characters straight out of a sitcom: Brett, the fedora-wearing leader with a passion for comic books; Mandy, the 8th-grade math teacher who'd soon marry her girlfriend; Heather, who looked amazing in leggings and was still funny; Tracy, the elderly Jewish woman who'd danced in New York City; Dan, a red-headed game designer, and luis-- literally just a blind guy that came to three practices.

We performed together, the energy electric until the theater owner's arrest in a sting operation shattered our dreams (fuck him, he was a pedo). But the comedy bug had bitten me hard. I transitioned to stand-up, honing my jokes at open mics, testing material on unsuspecting customers at my various odd jobs. Strangers laughed, and for the first time, I felt seen.

My family never laughed at my jokes (shocker!) I was the youngest of 3, the only girl. My brothers, now they were funny. Most of their conversations were quoting movies and tv shows. Scrubs was our favorite. I probably shouldn't have been watching it when I did, but oh well, now I'm funny. (Thanks Bill Lawerence).

So now, when strangers laughed, it was a wild high I kept wanting to chase. I always wanted to be something like a rock star. But I couldn't play guitar, danced without rhythm, was incredibly tone deaf, and acting was a death sentence. But I had jokes. Dumb jokes, but they were there. And they were working.

The night of my first show, the crowd's energy was palpable. The host, a bit of a dork with too big of an ego for his britches, couldn't hold a candle to the anticipation building in the room. When he took the stage, my friends started chanting my name, their voices echoing through the club. I couldn't believe it. A wave of pure joy washed over me as I stepped into the spotlight.

Truly, if you can, get a room of 100+ people to chant your name. Any suicidal tendencies you may have will instantly go away I promise. I went up, did my set, and had about 46 beers paid for at the bar for me. The host pulled me aside and said "don't think because you told all your friends to come that you're a big deal." I don't remember a lot from the remainder of that night, but I do remember thinking "I probably just paid the club's utility bills" with the amount of revenue they got from the bar sales. (also, producers, not a great idea to shame the person who packed out your room. Also, pay them! Dick)

I know what you're thinking. Isn't this about how you and Rio met? Yes. Still is. But as you can read, I was really focused on how awesome that feeling was and how much fun I was having. It was the start of something in my life. And Rio, was in the crowd, on a first date with some other girl.

I like to imagine he was sitting with her, and when I came out on stage he got stars in his eyes like Knives from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Rio was there, sitting across from another girl, but his eyes were on me, whispering, "Who is that?" as his date rolled her eyes. A week later, he showed up at open mic.

But that night, in that packed club, I was focused on the thrill of the stage, the laughter echoing in my ears. Rio was just a face in the crowd, a spark waiting to ignite. It was probably the best night of my life in this new town.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part III

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, brief mentions of blackmail and prostitution, all characters are adults.

Words: 1135.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

___________

Bewildered by Steve’s words, you froze, still hoping it was all a joke. He had literally made a schedule for you. What then? Were they going to assign each other roles or something? Make a play out of it?

“Of course, I will finish working on a set of rules soon. I need a couple more days, I think.” Rogers said, and Bucky’s eyes rolled skyward.

“Steve, please. Don’t you think it’s too much?” He breathed out tiredly and rubbed his face, others staring at his best friend with the same expression of disinterest.

“I’m not going to set some draconian rules to make your life more difficult. But we need to know when most students leave the main building, when it's safe to be in the library, and so on. That’s what I’ll be working on.”

Well, that didn’t sound too bad, but you thought that Steve, someone who was used to being a leader, could also get used to giving orders to all of you. You certainly did want it to happen because now it looked more and more like some police operation rather than a school play you thought of first.

“Anyway, it’s getting late.” Loki got up the sofa, and you stared at his well-cut black jacket and pants that fit him perfectly - no doubt, they were made specially for him by a tailor. “Since it’s Tuesday, I guess it’s my turn to walk the lady back to the dorm.”

He sounded very sarcastic, and you shivered, not very eager to stay alone with him, but others were already getting up, intending to leave. Dammit. Out of them all Loki seemed the least harmless, and you dreaded walking the empty corridors with him. Why nobody objected to him being in this protection squad?

“Don’t try anything stupid.” Bucky snorted as he passed by the guy who was supposed to be your personal guard for this evening, and Loki sent him a sly smile as if he definitely wanted to try something others wouldn’t like.

“Let’s go, shall we?”

Nodding, you left the student council room and tried to keep your distance - you hoped he wouldn’t curl his arm around your waist or touch you anyhow because the thought made your stomach churn. Loki definitely saw it in your face, and his smirk got wider.

Keeping quiet, you were walking together until you left the main building. Out of all people, why did he agreed to something like that? Maybe you could understand why Peter got involved, but Loki? He seemed the misanthropic kind who wanted to do nothing with people. Judging by the way he looked, talked, and moved, he was brought up in a wealthy family. Loki had an air of superiority around him the way Steve had, but he was different: while Steve seemed to be carrying a burden, Loki enjoyed the effect he had on people.

Why somebody like him was getting involved in your mess? For the sheer sense of control?

“No need to be so afraid.” He said nonchalantly, and you pursed your lips like you’d been chewing a lemon rind. Yes, it was definitely for the sense of control.

“I’m not afraid. Not of you, at least.” You sighed. “You don’t look like a person who’d be walking around stealing girls’ lingerie.”

“What if I am?”

Scoffing, you raised your head to look him in the eyes - Loki was rather tall, and you were forced to look up at him.

“If you ever needed a girl’s underwear, I bet you’d just go and ask for it. Don’t tell me you’ve never had a girlfriend or something.”

Funny enough, now his attitude was making you act way braver than in the student council room just a couple of minutes ago. For some reason, just his expression alone was making you want to stand up to him, despite the fact Loki didn’t say anything offensive to you. You didn’t feel scared at all as if all fear vanished once you left the room.

“Can’t say you’re wrong. Although I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment, I could take a taxi to the city right now, go to a club and pay some girl to do whatever I want.” The naked truth made you frown, but Loki carried on as if nothing had happened. “But it's getting... old.”

Was he so rich to the point he would do this? Was it something so casual to him he spoke of it freely? You thought you’d never really met a person who openly admitted they paid to a prostitute. Well, obviously, Loki couldn’t care less about opinions of others, you included.

“This doesn’t explain why you agreed to help me. I don’t think you’d come just because Steve asked you to.”

“True. I just thought it would be entertaining.”

Watching the dormitory building growing bigger in front of you with your every step, you bit down on your lower lip. It was exactly as you thought, Loki simply wanted an entertainment while having someone under his control to please his ego.

Although it didn’t look nice, at least he wasn’t among those creeps who had been following you and stealing your things. If any of them were to disturb you, you had a feeling Loki would me most displeased - if you were to be in his care, somebody messing with you would probably make him feel like he's not in control, and it would make him furious, you thought.

“Listen, I’m being serious. I know what effect I have on people, and I’m not surprised you don’t like me.” He suddenly said, and you tensed again. “But I’m not the one you have to be worrying about. I’m not here to trick you into thinking I’m your knight in shining armor. You better be careful around the others. They’ll do whatever it takes to gain your favors.”

Suddenly stopping before you two could enter the dorm, he asked you for your phone number and gave you a quick call to ensure you would have his contact details when you might need him.

Perplexed by his words to the point you lost your vigor, you wanted to ask him who exactly he was talking about, but then you thought Loki meant all of them, all other four guys who seemed more or less harmless to you. Did he say that because he wanted to gain your favors? Or was it because he knew something about them you didn't?

____________

"Just don't act like a silly little sheep around them. I know you got a sharp tongue, so you better remember it when they'll try to force you do something they want. Steve's right about one thing: people need to know you can protect yourself. Those four have to remember it, too."

Part IV

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @stupendouslovegarden​ @goodgodimaweirdperson​

[starlightrows]

Head Over Heels

Part I—

Next →

Pairing: Wrecker x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Mentions of sex, this chapter is pretty much nothing but fluff

Summary: A feisty little mechanical engineer and a massive clone trooper

The last few months have been rocky to say the least, with the way the war is progressing you have to take on more and more work to pick up the slack left behind from fallen troopers, and enlisted men and women alike. Which means you were suddenly promoted up to senior mechanical engineer on this base, leaving you with five permanent squadrons operating out of this base to look after, as well as any pit stops made by any of the other six hundred some odd battalions in the GAR.

You never thought you would be in a position of command, in any form, being the senior mechanical engineer made you the second most senior person in charge of this base. Base Commander, it sounded stranger with your name in front of it. You always thought you’d be glossed over for a position like this, given your overly enthusiastic and rather sunny disposition. A stark contrast from the clone commanders, and high authority military men that were now your peers. But then again, no one knew GAR technology and space craft mechanics like you did.

Your newest permanent squadron stationed at your base was an odd combination of men, who clashed deeply not only with themselves but also with everyone else around them. Clone Force 99, or The Bad Batch as they had dubbed themselves. You didn’t find them to be all that bad.

Hunter was a bit intimidating at first, any man with half of his face tattooed with a skull could be considered intimidating. But he wasn’t all that bad, he was respectful and tried his best to keep his ragtag squad on their best behavior.

Tech wasn’t so bad either, though he did have a nasty habit of trying to get you to slip up in your technical knowledge and execution. He may be genetically engineered to be smart, but that doesn’t mean he knows everything. And besides he hasn’t succeeded yet in getting you to make a mistake.

Crosshair… okay, there is something to be said for him. He could be horrible sometimes with the things he said and the way he treated people. Even the other members of his own squad.

But the last member, Wrecker. He was something else entirely. Loud, boisterous, funny, incredibly sweet and kind when he wasn’t actively trying to blow something up. You figured since they seemed intent on break every rule they encountered anyway, being in a relationship with Wrecker was worth the risk of getting in trouble with higher command.

It started out fairly innocent, he just liked being around you. Watching you fix various parts of the ship, listening to you talk about whatever it was you’re doing… even if it all went over his head. He just liked to hear your voice and see you get excited over things. As time went on, he liked sitting with you while you ate when taking breaks from your work. Holding your hand and marveling at how itty bitty it was compared to his massive one. Everything about you was smaller and softer than him. But your spirit, your passion, and your smile were larger than life.

He couldn’t seem to get enough of your small, soft hands. Any chance he got he’d pull you away from whatever you were doing to come down to your height and steal a kiss, or snatch you up to come to his height to cuddle you close. When he was sure you really wouldn’t be caught, he’d sneak off with you to explore more of your soft skin. Long nights spent in your private quarters on the base, exploring each other’s bodies and giggling through the effort of trying to keep quite. Being with Wrecker meant being patient. Waiting for the right moment to sneak away, waiting for him to come back from mission, and patient in your love making. Taking a man his size is a challenge for you, but patience pays off, every single time.

Every time they left for an assignment you triple checked their ship, The Havoc Marauder, to make sure it was up to whatever perils they were about to put it through. Usually Tech would hover around, inspecting every little thing you touch. Eventually you’d call out your preflight check complete, and Tech would have to resign himself to accepting your clearance. Crosshair would largely ignore you, or more often find something rude and unpleasant to say. Hunter would usher him on, and remind you of their designated return date. Wrecker always lingered, waiting until his brothers were safely on the ship and not gawking so he could bend down and scoop you up for a hug.

“Bye Tiny,” he’d always say, giving you a squeeze.

“Bye big guy, I’ll see you soon,” you always give him a kiss on the cheek before he sets you down gently and steals a quick kiss on your lips.

They’d usually be gone for a couple days, sometimes a week or two. If they had to stop off at another base, Hunter would usually contact you to be aware of a new return date. You hate getting those calls, not like you don’t have enough to keep you busy when they’re not around. But still, when you’re in a new relationship, the only thing you really want to do is be around them. You missed your loud, energetic mountain of a man.

This time, Hunter had commed you not once, not twice, but three times to push back their estimated return date. Apparently they’d been roped into helping a couple other squads in nearby systems.

“It’s good for our image,” Hunter had said “we don’t exactly have the greatest reputation in the GAR”

“Yes, and I wonder how that came to be?” you laughed knowing Hunter would understand your meaning. Their squad truly wasn’t so horrible, but between Wrecker’s collateral damage and Crosshair’s incessant need to antagonize literally every other member of the GAR, it’s not hard to see why others have such a dim view of them.

“Oh you know, people are just hard to please.” he joked

“Well… stay safe. Don’t break too much on that ship you’re so attached to,” you said, Hunter paused for a moment.

“You wanna talk to him?” he asked, you could hear the grin in his voice.

“Can I?” you asked hopefully

“He’s not provoking Crosshair when he’s talking to you, take as long as you’d like” he said “try not to get him too riled up though, not a lot of privacy on the ship,”

You laughed a bit “No promises Sarge,”

Hunter shook his head and left the cockpit, leaving the com channel open, you could hear him walking away. Heavy footsteps rapidly approach the comlink receiver, even though you can’t see him with the holovid feature turned off you know he’s got a big grin on his face. The door to the cockpit slides shut, and there’s a soft sound of him sinking into the pilots seat.

“Hi Tiny,” he said excitedly.

“Hello handsome, causing trouble?” you asked with a giggle

“Me? Trouble? Nah, I’m a model soldier. Poster child for the Grand Army of the Republic,” he replied.

You spent nearly two hours that night talking to Wrecker over the comlink. About the mission, about how things were going on the base, about plans for when he got back, plans for the future, and nothing at all. Eventually, your eyes were beginning to droop and your responses interspersed with muffled yawns.

“Think it’s time for you to go to bed Tiny,” he laughed

“Hmmm…. you’re probably right. Can’t keep my eyes open,” you mumbled “guess that means it’s time to say goodbye,”

“Goodnight Tiny, see you soon,” he said

“Goodnight Big Guy…. love you,” you realized in your sleepy mind, that was the first time you’d said that to him. Maybe this wasn’t the right time, but you’d been thinking it over and over the last few weeks it just slipped out.

“I love you too baby,” he replied before switching off the comlink.

Wrecker sat back in the silence for a moment, letting the gravity of what you’d just said wash over him.

She loves me! He thought to himself She loves ME!

Tag List: @escapedthesarlacc

[meltingheartsandcores]

A tale of Wangji misunderstanding his brother.

I had the idea of LWJ misunderstanding LXC’s insistence on discussing WWX as LXC being interested in WWX and viola! I hope you enjoy!

Wei Wuxian wasn’t expecting a letter from Lan Wangji, in fact, considering their latest interaction, it was the last thing he expected. But, here it was. In plain view. Waiting to be opened. It wasn’t any notice of expulsion, or else it would be from Teacher Lan. Maybe it was a warning? Gloating?

No. No. Lan Wangji wouldn’t gloat.

“Stop worrying and just open the stupid letter. You’re keeping me up!” Jiang Cheng protests. Wei Wuxian sticks his tongue out at him but opens the letter and reads.

And grows more confused.

“He, wants to meet me after curfew.” He also gave a place, well, he said to meet where they first fought and Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel like explaining it to Jiang Cheng or telling him. Ever.

He lost two good jars of wine that night.

“Good for you. Maybe he wants to bash your head in.” Jiang Cheng grumbles and rolls over, finally going to bed. Wei Wuxian would never actually sleep at nine, but he’ll suffer waking up at five. Mostly because he has no choice in the matter. Still, he’ll meet Lan Wangji for this weird meeting. Why it can’t just happen within Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji’s room, he doesn’t know. Maybe he does want a rematch. But, would he break the rules for that?

An hour passes before Wei Wuxian sneaks out and heads to the rooftop he met Lan Wangji on that night. His curiosity was palpable but he stayed silent as he sat on the roof. Lan Wangji wouldn’t be late, right? It was impossible for Lans to be late, right? Their body clock was incredibly accurate. Maybe he fell asleep? Lan Wangji would’ve grown up going to bed at nine, maybe he couldn’t stay awake?

Wei Wuxian’s worrying was pointless as minutes after he starts, Lan Wangji jumps onto the roof and sits down beside him.

“Ah, Lan Zhan. What’d you want to talk about?” Wei Wuxian asks, but Lan Wangji doesn’t answer. Instead, he puts a silence barrier around the roof they were on. Ohhkay. This is weird. “What’s going on?”

“I think Xiongzhang has a crush on you.”

“...what?” Does Lan Wangji have another brother? Because he can’t be referring to Zewu-Jun. That’s just- no. Not possible. Maybe he misunderstood something? Lan Wangji doesn’t always seem to grasp social situations correctly. “Uh, why do you think that?”

“He talks of you a lot. And asks me about you, along with asking how I feel about you.”

“How you feel about me?” Lan Wangji feels something other than annoyance with Wei Wuxian?

“Not relevant.” Okay, rude. “Xiongzhang seems interested in you.”

“Ohkay?” People have had crushes on Wei Wuxian before. He mostly ignored them. And considering he rarely interacts with Zewu-Jun, that won’t be a problem. Except that it’s Zewu-Jun. Lan Wangji has almost certainly crossed some wires. “Are you sure it’s a romantic interest? Maybe he’s just invested in you having a friend?”

“We are not friends.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I painted you a portrait.” Wei Wuxian wasn’t entirely sure what he did with it once Wei Wuxian handed it over because there was an incident that distracted him. He hopes Lan Wangji didn’t shred it like that book. “And we’re gossiping on a rooftop about your brother. We’re friends.” Wait. Wei Wuxian grins, “Lan Zhan, isn’t there a rule about gossiping?”

“We are not in Cloud Recess.” Wei Wuxian huffs a laugh, his smile growing at Lan Wangji using his own reasoning from that first night.

“Fair enough. So, have you talked to your brother about his alleged crush on me?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, “I don’t believe he realizes.”

“No offence, but I think Zewu-Jun is more attuned to emotions than you.” Wei Wuxian’s comment earns him a glare and he shrugs, “You’ve been mostly isolated with only other Lans for company, Zewu-Jun has to go to clan meetings and shit. He’s more socialized than you. You literally have rules about being too happy or too sad.” Wei Wuxian could, annoyingly, recite the 3500 rules by memory now and write them all by muscle memory now. And there were far too many rules dictating what emotions you were allowed to feel and how to express them.

Lan Wangji’s glare softens back into his default expression and nods. “He is blind to his own feelings. He had a crush on Chifeng-zun throughout childhood, it was annoying. And he has no recollection of it.”

Wei Wuxian has never met Chifeng-zun, but from what he’s heard, he’s pretty sure most cultivators of their generation have a crush on him. Wei Wuxian included. He’s ripped, he’s giant, and he’s hot. Wei Wuxian has no plans on proposing marriage, he has enough anger issues from Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu thank you very much, but he’s not oppose to anything less.

“Most people have crushes on Chifeng-zun. It’s not that surprising, him allegedly having a crush on me, however…” It was doubtful. “Lan Zhan, if you’re so sure he has a crush on me, why haven’t you talked to him about it?”

“It would be inappropriate.”

“But it’s not inappropriate to talk to me about it?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, clearly, Wei Wuxian misunderstood. “He would deny it regardless. The feelings are inappropriate.”

Wei Wuxian’s first thought was the fact that the feelings are of a cutsleeve, but immediately dismisses that because they were just talking about Chifeng-zun. No, so, why… ohhhh. “Because I’m a junior disciple under GusuLan’s protection and he’s sect leader. If he were a worse person, he could use his influence to get what he wants. And if Uncle Jiang heard he might assume the worse.” Ugh. Stupid politics. Even if Uncle Jiang didn’t, someone would. They would see a Clan Leader taking advantage of a visiting junior disciple. Despite only being three years apart. Great.

Wei Wuxian hates politics.

“So, what’s your plan? Why tell me about it?” Because Wei Wuxian can’t see a reason.

“Do you return the feelings?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, because he can’t answer definitively, “I don’t know him well enough. I don’t really interact with Sect Leaders. Physically, yes, I am attracted to him. And from what I’ve heard he sounds like someone I’d be attracted to but I don’t really know him.”

Lan Wangji nods, “So you will get to know him. If you do not return the feelings then there is nothing to be done. They will disappear on their own.” Wei Wuxian isn’t sure about that logic, but maybe it was true for Zewu-Jun? According to Madam Yu, it was not true for Uncle Jiang. “If you do return the feelings…” Lan Wangji trails off, clearly at a loss.

“Offer to keep in contact once I leave? Maybe visit? If I’m not a guest disciple, but just a guest, it wouldn’t carry the same negative weight.” Lan Wangji nods in agreement.

“You should return to your bed.” Wei Wuxian nods and hurries back to his room, thankfully, he was not caught breaking curfew.

He did, in fact, wake Huaisang and immediately tell him about what Lan Zhan said. Huaisang was too groggy to properly react.

Immediately anyways.

About half a schichen later he shoots awake and wakes Wei Wuxian back up to interrogate him on Zewu-Jun’s apparent crush.

_-Morning-_

Regrettably, Operation Get To Know Zewu-Jun is on hold as Zewu-Jun left that morning for Qinghe. However, that meant Wei Wuxian had ample time to drag Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji away from people to make a plan. Since this was apparently happening.

“I still can’t believe Xichen-ge has a crush on you. No offense Wei-Xiong, but,” Huaisang looked doubtful.

“Lan Zhan said so. He knows Zewu-Jun best, right?” Wei Wuxian protests, turning to look at Lan Wangji at the same time as Nie Huaisang. Lan Wangji, looked determinedly uncomfortable.

“I do not understand what else he could be feeling. He talks about Wei Ying all the time, asks me about him, what else could that mean?” Ok, Lan Wangji sounded like he was actually confused. Well. He sounded vaguely unsure, barely a change in his tone, but, still. For Lan Wangji that’s complete confusion.

Nie Huaisang taps his fan to his chin, “That’s a good point. So what’s our plan?”

“Wei Ying will get to know Xiongzhang, if he does not return feelings we will cease.”

“And if he does?” Wei Wuxian blinks, realizing what he said and corrects, “I mean. If I do?”

Lan Wangji does not answer. Still clearly as unsure about that as last night.

Nie Huaisang, thankfully, has some ideas. “You wait until the classes are over, and you graduate, then you offer to keep in contact. Maybe do some night hunts or meet up. Go to dinner.” Nei Huaisang’s face scrunches up, “You’re going to have to get a taste for Gusu food.”

Wei Wuxian makes a similar face to Huaisang, “I can bring in chilli oil, right?” Wei Wuxian turns to look at Lan Wangji.

“Do not poison Xiongzhang with it.” Was Lan Wangji’s only response. Which was as good as agreement.

“Great. Now how do I get to know Zewu-Jun better?”

“Da Ge might know. I’ll send him a letter today, he’ll probably respond in three days. And we have at least a week before Xichen-ge comes back. So. We’ll have lots of time to practice.” Nie Huaisang informs, then asks, “But Wei-Xiong, why didn’t we bring Jiang-Xiong with us?”

Wei Wuxian makes a face, “Jiang Cheng might not respond well to my potential lovelife.”

“He makes many remarks about your lovelife.” Lan Wangji states.

“He jokes. Let’s just say it’s best if he finds out later. Will Da Ge really be that helpful though?” Nie Huaisang looked offended at the mere idea.

“Chifeng-zun became friends with Xiongzhang at a young age. His advice may be out of date.” Wei Wuxian was thankful for Lan Wangji’s support.

“But he’ll offer a different opinion!”

_—_In Qinghe_—_

Lan Xichen would appreciate it if Mingjue would stop laughing. It was not that funny! “What is so funny?” Lan Xichen didn’t think him bemoaning Wangji’s failure of a lovelife was funny!

Mingjue didn’t answer for another minute, too busy laughing. He takes a deep breath before he does, a smile still on his face, Lan Xichen couldn’t be angry with him. Mingjue wasn’t happy often anymore. Especially not to this extent. “You think Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian.” Mingjue repeats, looking very close to falling back into laughter.

“Yes. Why is that funny?”

Mingjue chuckles a little before he says, “Because. Wangji thinks you’re in love with Wei Wuxian.”

What.

“What?”

How-

Why-

Mingjue bursts into laughter again. “Stop laughing! Why does Wangji think that?” Lan Xichen demands, very much at a loss.

Mingjue’s laughter titters off, “I don’t know. He told Wei Wuxian who told Huaisang who told me. I was not privy to the inner workings of your brothers mind Xichen.”

“That doesn’t make sense. I barely know Wei-Gongzi.”

“So does Wangji but that didn’t stop you from assuming.” Mingjue refutes.

“They had a fight under the moonlight and Wangji started calling him Wei Ying after a week.” Lan Xichen deadpans.

“...Fair enough.”

“Why did Huaisang write to you?” Lan Xichen asks, he can’t imagine Wangji thinking he has a crush on Wei Wuxian was that noteworthy.

“He wanted advice on getting to know you. Apparently their current plan is seeing if Wei Wuxian likes you back after actually knowing you. They have no plan further than that.”

That… sounded regrettably like his didi.

Lan Xichen sighs, then furrows his brow slightly when he notices Mingjue looking at him intently, clearly thinking. Mingjue, was not a tactful person, he would say what’s on his mind eventually. He’s sure Mingjue has something meaningful to say. Maybe about their brothers. Maybe a solution to their new problem of his brother, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang believing Lan Xichen has a crush on Wei Wuxian. Since Wangji will take any denial on Lan Xichen’s part as polite denial based on Wei Wuxian’s current status as a guest disciple of GusuLan. So. Lan Xichen waits.

“Is there a chance you have a crush on Wei Wuxian?”

He shouldn’t have waited.

[missed-connections-of-fear]

im sure there were plenty of zombie based hells in the fearpocalypse but can i get a HOOYEAH from my fellows in the zombies, run! based domain?? we were all wearing headsets and getting guidance and stuff - goddamn i did NOT expect my morning run to turn into literal hell. ANYWAY to my first radio operator who deliberately led me into a horde and laughed as i got torn apart and continued mocking me even after i turned into a zombie: fuck you!! i don't know your face, but i know your voice and i WILL find you if youre not careful!

to the person with the unicorn shirt: im really sorry for attacking you. i didnt want to but i lost most of the ability to control what i was doing after i turned not that it was okay. if you get in touch ill let you get some free punches in and we could go for lunch after my treat? you had really pretty eyes (would saying your blood was really sweet be a compliment or just creepy and weird? probably creepy and weird sorry about that) you did a pretty good number on my eyes before you turned and what was left of me kinda appreciated that because i couldn't see much of what i did after even though i could still hear it pretty well...

to the others: again im really sorry. i don't know what you looked like because of the eye thing but i was the one with cat ear headphones and blue shorts. offer of some free punches and lunch stands if you reach out.

to the second and last(?) radio operator i had after i...respawned(?): you did your best and it wasnt your fault i think all of it was rigged against us from the start. you sang to me as i turned something mournful and kind and words will never be able to express what a comfort that last bit of humanity was to me as i felt my own slipping away. id love if you could teach it to me someday. id appreciate not getting punched by you but offer of free punches and lunch (and maybe dinner?) stands if youd like. (if a lot of people take me up on the punching offer ill need a few days to recover before you get your turn just fyi for you and everyone else.) if you tell me your favorite color i could crochet you a scarf. something soft and warm to comfort you the same way you comforted me. would it be weird to ask to be friends? maybe we could be friends...

and uh, for anyone else who still plays zombies run! id...i still want to play its fun and i love the story but it might be easier if i could talk with other runner fives whove been through what weve been through. reach out if youre abel and willing please. (please no punching unless we actually met in the fearpocalypse though)

and rosie thank you so much for this platform and giving us the ability to reach out and talk about our experiences. im sure its hard to read these stories so please dont forget to take care of yourself too

This is a buckwild story. I honestly didn’t know what zombies run! is but I feel like I understand from the story lmao.

Also thank you for thanking me I guess. That’s a weird way to phrase that. But I’m glad to help others. And there is a reason that I don’t post all that many in a day (try to do two or three a day max), the time I broke that rule was ants anon because that was funny. Also they were really short.

[pink-imagines]

just kiss me

request: glad requests are open! wanna drop mine in, hope you don't mind :3 prohero!bakugo has a crush on a prohero!deku's sidekick, or rather she's like nighteye, who lays the ground work for deku. he's always been jealous of izuku and would try to talk to her every now and then, especially during a team up operation. one night, they had a party, so they partied, bakugo gon mad and admitted that he wants to date the sidekick. everything onwards is up to you! thank you!

a/n: Y/H/N = your hero name, also i changed it a little bit.

warnings: drinking (everyone’s of legal drinking age tho)

masterlist

“All clear, take a left turn Deku.”, you speak into the headset as you keep tapping away at your keyboard.

“Got it, thanks Y/H/N.”, you heard Deku answer and followed the red dot, representing him, on your computer. Usually you would follow along on his missions, but today was a one man job and you were stuck on look-out.

“Anyways, I heard there’s a party tonight. Something about a new club somewhere.”, you started making small talk like you usually did when the mission wasn’t too serious.

“Wow, Y/H/N, I can’t believe you’re finally asking me out.”, he chuckled. Since you two started working together it had been a joke between the two of you, because literally everyone thought you were dating.

“Hah hah, very funny.”, you shook your head, “They want us to go for their reputations sake, we’ll get free drinks too. Besides, I don’t want to go alone.”

“I don’t have anything to do for tonight so sure I’ll go with you, as long as you promise me a dance.”, he said jokingly, “Where do I go now?”

“There’s a dead end if you go straight, but left and right are a no-go. Think you can bust through that wall?”, you asked, “There’s an open exit on the other side of it.”

“Got it. See you on the other side, then.”

Your velvet red dress was hugging your curves closely, leaving little to the imagination. For tonight, this couldn’t be better. 

“God, these heels are killing me.”, you whisper to Izuku as you walk, arms linked together, into the new club.

“You’ve only walked from the car and your feet already hurt?”, he chuckled.

“I haven’t worn heels in a while, okay? Now let’s hurry, these camera flashes are making me dizzy.”, you sighed and smiled brightly for the paparazzi.

You looked around the club, it was actually kind of pleasant looking. Though you never really went to any clubs, but who could say no to free drinks?

At the end of the bar you saw the other people invited along with you; Kirishima, Ochako, Ashido, Denki, Sero, Todoroki, Yaoyorozu and Bakugo. Katsuki Bakugo was an interesting character, especially when he was around you. Everyone told you that the hero was a total hot head and to be careful around him. Still, Bakugo never actually acted like that with you. You had seen him like that but it was as if he was holding back around you.

“Hey guys!”, you grinned as you walked up to the group next to Izuku.

“Oh my!”, Yaoyorozu exclaimed, “Y/N! Those heels are wonderful!”

“They better be, my feet aree killing me!”, you laughed and sat down by the bar next to her.

“I can make you a new pair if you want to change.”, she took a sip of her drink.

“It’s fine, how are you guys doing?”

After a bit of talking and a few drinks in, you and the girls decided to go to the dance floor. While you were out there you felt someone’s eyeing you up and down and before you knew it Ashido had nudged you in your side with her elbow.

“Bakugo’s totally checking you out.”, she whispered in your ear. Your body went on auto pilot and looked over to the guys who were still at the bar. Bakugo quickly looked away from you while the others around him laughed at him.

“Well, he’s not gonna do anything... like usual.”, Ochako sighed.

“We can make him do something about it.”, Yaoyorozu chuckled devilishly.

Honestly, you had no idea what they were planning and the fact that they were talking as if Bakugo had liked you for forever was even more confusing.

“Guys, he was just looking at me. It doesn’t mean anything.”, you chuckled nervously.

“Okay, then we’ll try this out and see what happens!”, Ochako grinned.

“Yeah! What’s your plan, Momo?”, Ashido asked.

So now there you were, walking back up to the bar where the others were sitting and your eyes were set on Izuku.

“Hey, come on! I promised you a dance, remember!”, you acted a bit more drunk than you actually were. You could already feel Bakugo’s eyes burning your skin with rage.

“Wait, no, I was just joking!”, Izuku laughed nervously, looking between you and Bakugo’s enraged red eyes.

“Have a little fun already!”, you giggled and dragged him out on the dancefloor. You could hear the rest of the guys joking around with Bakugo as you left.

“Y/N, I can’t fucking dance.”, Izuku laughed.

“Then let me teach you!”, you smiled. For a moment you forgot about the stupid “plan” and just had fun with your friend, even though it looked like you were more than “just friends”.

After a while of dancing around Todoroki walked up to you.

“We’re gonna go to our usual place if you guys wanna tag along.”, he said, pointing at the door with his thumb.

“Sounds great!”, Izuku smiled and helped you off the dance floor.

The usual place was an old jazz bar who always had live music, different bands almost every night. It was your favorite place to hang out when everyone had the time to do so. Everyone wasn’t there tonight, but at least there were a few.

“I’m going to the bathroom!”, Ashido said and walked off.

“We’ll tag along.”, Yaoyorozu said and grabbed Ochako’s arm, “Find a table for us, will you?”

“Of course, we’re on it.”, Todoroki said and walked away and Izuku followed close behind.

“I’ll check the band list!”, Kirishima grinned and hurried away.

“We’ll go get drinks!”, Sero said.

“I’m guessing the usual for everyone!”, Denki added.

Left standing there were you and Bakugo. You could go with Kirishima, you always liked to look at what bands were playing before you sat down. Your focus shifted when you noticed shuffling beside you. Bakugo was unbuttoning three buttons on his black button-up shirt.

“What are you looking at? It’s hot in here.”, Bakugo scoffed and looked away from you.

“I’m sure it is.”, you played at his nerves.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, he growled and you felt a shiver run down your spine. It wasn’t a bad kind of shiver, it was more of a nice surprise.

“I’m just saying that there are a lot of girls at this bar...”, you looked around, “...and I haven’t heard anything about you having a girlfriend so...”

“I’ll have you know that I actually like someone.”, he chuckled and just for a moment you could see genuine happiness in his eyes.

“Oh yeah? Do tell, please.”, you raised an eyebrow.

“Hey! We found a table!”, Izuku interupted the two of you.

It was the best spot in the bar. A table in the corner with a bunch of armchair’s and a couch. You sat down by the armrest on the couch and unexpectantly, Bakugo sat down next you. Everyone else gave the two of you meaning glances but you didn’t really notice.

The night went on as usual, a few drinks and lots of laughter shared... but when Bakugo’s thigh softly rested itself against yours you didn’t move your leg away.

“Let’s play a game of truth or dare!”, Ashido exclaimed suddenly.

“We’re not children, Ashido.”, Todoroki scoffed and drank yet another glass of scotch.

“It’d be fun though!”, Ochako chimed in.

“I’m in.”, you grinned. Soon enough everyone gave in and Ashido started by asking Izuku. It went around the table, back and forth, and eventually it landed on you.

“Y/N, truth or dare?”, Denki asked.

“Um... truth?”, you said nervously.

“Wuss.”, Bakugo grumbled beside you.

“Okay fine then, dare devil. I’ll take a dare instead.”, you chuckled. Ashido whispered something in Denki’s ear, making his lips contort into a wicked grin, and suddenly you regretted your decision to switch to a dare.

“I dare you to kiss Bakugo.”, he chuckled along with the rest of the table.

“Wow, are you five or something? That’s not that hard.”, you sighed and tried to hide the fact that you would be very nervous about doing that.

“Fine then, make out.” You regretted your desicion once again.

“Right here?”, you looked around to the rest of the table.

“Oi, you’re making her uncomfortable.”, Bakugo broke your embarrassed haze, “Besides, I never agreed to do it so it’s not happening. She picked truth first anyways, isn’t there a rule where you can’t change it?”

“Okay fine.”, Denki sighed, “Then you gotta answer this; do you like someone and if so are they in the room?”

“Yes and yes. So, is it my turn?”, you asked. You thought that Bakugo’s words had hurt you but just as you said that he looked away from you and the place where his leg had touched yours went cold.

After the whole ordeal was over, you decided to go home early. Your excuses varied from that you were tired to that you had work tomorrow and eventually you managed to get out of their tight grip.

Once outside you kind of regretted it, it was cold as fuck and of course you forgot to bring a jacket. That was until soft, warm fabric embraced your shoulders with a scent that was so very familiar. You looked up to see Bakugo.

“Hi.”, you said quietly.

“I’m walking you home, let’s go.”, he muttered and grabbed your wrist to drag you forwards. Your carefully turned your hand so that you were palm to palm with his bigger hand. As you laced your fingers with his he stiffened but then relaxed and closed his hand around yours.

“Thank you.”, you smiled slightly and wrapped his coat tighter around your frame. He simply grunted in response and kept on walking.

Throughout your walk together you kept catching him looking over at you before quickly averting his glance.

“Aren’t you cold-” “Does your feet hurt-”

You both stopped and then broke out into laughter. Why the fact that you said something at the same time was so funny, you didn’t know but appearently it just was. Besides, you weren’t complaining... seeing him laugh like that sent butterflies to your stomach.

“Sorry, what were you going to say?”, he chuckled out.

“Aren’t you cold?”, you repeated yourself with a smile.

“I’m fine, does your feet hurt though?”, he looked down at your very uncomfortable shoes.

“Well, yeah, but there’s not much to do about it.”, you sighed, “We’re almost there anyways.”

“You’re walking like a goose, you could at least take them off.”, he quirked an eyebrow.

“Hey!”, you exclaimed, “If I take them off I’ll freeze to death.”

“Then I’ll carry you. If you know do have work tomorrow you gotta walk, right?”, he crouched down to let you get on his back.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause you any more problems.”, you hesitated.

“What?”

“Well, the others already forced you to walk me home...”, you muttered.

“What are you talking about?”, he stood back up.

“I’m just saying, you didn’t do this on your own-”

“Why would I do anything they say? I did this on my own. Now, do you want to get a ride or do you want to look like a goose on the rest of the way home?”

You ended up taking the offer for the ride. He was very warm, even if he had been walking around without a coat and you thought that had got to do with his quirk. Softly, you placed your head against his back and tried to ignore the fact that your tight dress was riding up your thigh.

“This is your place, right?”, he asked out of the blue.

“Yeah, thanks.”, you smiled and tried to get off. Emphasis on tried, since you almost fell hadn’t it been for Bakugo catching you.

“You gotta be more careful, idiot.”, he sighed, but there was a slight smile that played at his lips.

“Sorry.”, you giggled and got steady on your feet, “And sorry for bothering you with walking me home.”

“I told you, I wanted to.”, he leaned forward slightly.

“... could I ask you something, if you don’t mind?”, you whispered.

“Go for it.”, he muttered, mere inches from your face.

“Could you kiss me?”

“I never thought you’d ask.” Bakugo closed the gap and kissed your lips softly... but sadly only quickly, leaving you a bit shocked.

“I’ll kiss you for real when you’re sober.”, he said softly, “That is, if you want to.” He then started to walk away and you stood there in shock for a while.

“Hey wait! Why didn’t you want to kiss me before!?”, you exclaimed, making Bakugo turn around.

“I don’t kiss with an audience.”, he grinned, “Besides, you were clearly uncomfortable.” Without saying another word, or waiting for you to answer, he walked away.

[haxorus-imp]

Human Perspective - Reader LBP fic

Gender neutral Reader - No romance - Little Big Planet - No dialogue 

A human is lost in the imagisphere and is struggling to cope with their new surroundings. AO3 for those that prefer to read it there - > https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741977

You really don’t remember how you arrived here in this strange place. One moment you were resting peacefully, the next thing you know, you were being woken up by a small little humanoid fabric creature.

Once your eyes focused, you had gotten startled upright from the presence of the being, which was obviously understandable. In a hurry, you scoot away from the being and frantically look around. Despite just waking up, it took mere moments for you to realize that something was completely off about the land you were in...let alone how you got there. You were left completely dumbfounded. The small little humanoid seemed a bit worried about you, despite just meeting you.

Flustered, your confusion only grew when you tried to ask the little creature where you were and it simply spoke in sign language. Which you didn’t understand. Seeing your expression of complete loss, the little being thought for a moment before it decided to wave at you in a ‘follow me’ motion as they turned and waddled away. Still lost and confused, you really didn’t have a choice.

You picked yourself up and followed the little being through some garden-like areas before the landscape began to change and buildings made out of wood and cardboard slowly appeared. While on the walk over to who-knows-where, you decided to slightly distract yourself with looking around at your surroundings.

It was strange, as it almost felt like you were back home on Earth. However, this was far from the case. An example of your strange predicament lies in the horizon and around yourself. It was all made of fabric...just like the ground was...with an exception of other things. Like the cardboard buildings and creatures that dwelled nearby, as well as the fabric clouds that floated on by. The only thing that could be deemed ‘normal’ around here, at least to you, was the water that flowed in the rivers under the bridges you two passed by. Everything was strangely made to look like projects of arts and crafts.

Not even the locals were exempted from this rule. As the little creature that was leading you somewhere was made entirely of knitted wool. I just left you puzzled and completely stumped at where you even were.

But hopefully this little biped would be able to provide some answers. Your first set of strange contacts was with a small group that the little sack...thing...person...was leading you towards. Your approach didn’t go unnoticed. Once you and the little creature arrived, the three figures were giving you wary glances. But the little sackperson stepped forward and began to sign to them. It was quite a surprise to learn that these larger beings seemed to be British...despite this place not looking like Earth. A bit of back and forth later and you finally managed to introduce yourself and explain your situation to the three larger beings. In which, they introduced themselves to you as well.

There was Larry Da Vinci, an elderly individual with a paper beard and cardboard 3D glasses, who seemed to be rather forgetful, as it took him a moment to remember his own name before the bun-having blonde next to him spoke up.

Her name was Victoria, who had doll-like features and a steampunk-inspired body. She also seemed to be very polite too. Despite being an older female, her and Da Vinci even seemed to be a thing. If the sweet-based names he kept calling her had anything to say for it.

Then there was a rather depressed-looking individual named Clive, who was a man with an eraser for a body and a cyan desk calendar for a head, which was just to name a few things that caught your eye about him. It was just so strange to see paperclips merely sticking to a body without an anchor. But he was still polite none-the-less, even if he wasn’t as enthusiastic as Larry or Victoria.

As for yourself? Well, you were a human. Made of flesh and blood, unlike the natives of this realm you happened to get lost in. It wasn’t hard to take notice of how the others would look at you strangely from time to time.

Not only just because you showed up out of nowhere, but because your appearance just seemed...as that Ginger-Haired prideful loudmouth ‘Avalon’ would put it - “Highly suspicious-looking”. You didn’t think you looked that bad...or creepy. So, you just played down their doubts by just explaining that you're from very far away and that you were lost. It took a bit of convincing from Sackthing to see if Larry had any leads on what to do.

Many of them acted like they had never seen a human before and it wasn’t hard to see why. I mean, they even thought you looked ill and took you to an apple-headed nurse, who was strangely in a birdcage of all things, named Eve to have a look at you. She apparently tried to find your ‘stitching’, which took you awhile to explain that you weren’t born with ‘stitching’. She seemed completely lost with your explanation on a normal human body and she did some typical tests. Took your temperature, tested your reflexes, and gave you a few psychological tests. All came back okay, showing that you were in fact a perfectly normal human being. Even if she seemed slightly disappointed. The rest of the time was spent visiting the other creators once word got around that a unique stranger was visiting Craftworld from ‘very far away’. Despite meeting a fair chunk of them within the first few hours.

It was most likely Avalon who let the cat out of the bag, the dude probably can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life. If your first encounter with him had anything to say about it. Dude even had the nerve to call you a ‘rubbery-looking tall weirdo’.

Thankfully, Larry chewed him out for his rudeness before you could. So one by one, you met the creator curators and visited their homelands with Larry as your guide, since sackthing had other duties to attend to at the time.

It was quite an exhausting trip. Thankfully most of the realms could be accessed by rocketships that were provided by Larry Da Vinci. Yes, rocketships. Made out of cardboard...with a jet attached to them.

You didn’t understand how they worked, so you pretty much just went with it and didn’t ask any questions. Each encounter was as unique as they came as you headed off to the other parts of Craftworld with Larry. Your first encounter was with the lovely baker you met before, Victoria. She was very interesting to say the least, having a lab and bakery hybrid that she called home. She explored the possibilities of pastries and science. A strange combination. She even tried to offer you some of her baked goods, which you sadly discovered you couldn’t eat. At all . You just couldn’t force yourself to eat a literal SPONGE cake, so you had to turn her down gently but gratefully thanked her for the offer anyway. After that was Clive, the same depressed individual from earlier. You eventually discover that  he has lived in a factory for most of his life and just knows the day in and day out of being at work constantly. No wonder the poor sap was so blue. He obviously needed a long vacation. After a typical meet and greet, you toured the factory he called home and had a lot of fun watching how things operated while Clive rambled on and on about work and various activities he would perform around the factory. You even got to meet the cute little sackbots while you were there. Which was a pleasant experience in itself! After that was Eve’s Asylum where she and Professor Higginbottom were located. You met Higginbottom at the Asylum. Which was probably the strangest thing you have ever experienced...aside from being lost in this fabric dimension. He seemed like someone who got into the bong and never came out. Though, listening to him talk was quite entertaining. Even if you didn’t understand anything that came from his mouth. Eve was present there as well. Despite the underwhelming encounter from earlier, Eve was still elated to observe you and see how you were coping.  She apparently ran the asylum that was filled with beautiful flora, magical trees, and crazy people. Which wasn’t a surprise, but you were just happy that they were under the care of someone as loving as Eve. Even if she got a bit frustrated that she couldn’t make heads or tails about your ‘strange biology predicament’. Even with an unnecessary ‘second analysis’. Then finally, there was Avalon. The dude was about as loud and as arrogant as they came.

However, he pushed it to a point where he made it endearing rather than annoying, but your traveling companion could beg to differ. It seemed that Larry and Avalon had a lot of disagreements on who was the leader of “The Alliance”. Whatever that was. Both of them mixed like oil and vinegar, like broccoli and pizza, like boomers and millennials...it was honestly kinda funny to watch them bicker. However, you haven’t forgotten that rude comment he made about you. So you were still on the fence with him. Still, Avalonia was a wonderful place to visit. Looking at all of the strange gadgets that were made, the types of vehicles, and the sheer ethereal aura that the place radiated...Avalon really did have a strong reason to flex after all.

But as fun as it was to visit these Curators, you still needed to find your way home. Plus, you had to keep moving if you were going to be able to find anything to eat.

I mean, you have been offered food on numerous occasions while on your trip, however it wasn’t anything you could actually eat. ‘Sponge’ cakes, icing that was too sweet, jam that was too sticky, crackers that were made of cardboard, cookies made out of paper, fruit made out of fabric or plastic… It was all fake...and you were starting to starve.

Your lack of eating also seemed to worry Larry, but you feigned being fine. Despite the fact that you hadn’t really eaten in days. It was wearing down on you pretty bad at this point. Despite your lie, Larry seemed to still be lost on what to do with you. You honestly couldn’t blame him though. You were quite an enigma. Then, Larry was reminded of something and had explained that he was going to go to a place called Bunkum to attend a session in a place called Popit Academy and graciously offered if you wanted to visit while he was participating. At that time, you really didn’t know that you could explore other planets...but this was a strange new universe with strange new ways. So what could possibly go wrong?

So, from one planet made of patches to one with strange gadgets on it, you arrive at a place called “Needlepoint Peaks”.

Which was filled with crisp mountain air and little floating objects that harassed you at every angle. It was quite frustrating, as they would cling to you and you would have to constantly shake them loose. It seemed to amuse Larry to the point of chuckling as you both headed down the mountain together. While on the way, you even decided to take a bite out of the crackers that were sticking out of the ground. Which turned out to be a big mistake.

The ‘treat’ was about as stale as they come. It was hard to chew and it had the lingering scent of cardboard and dust. You promptly spat it out and coughed violently while Larry looked at you like you had lost your marbles.

Despite everything looking tasty, it was all dried and stale, nothing more than deceptive decorations for your ever growing hunger that gnawed away at you from your insides. You could only sigh helplessly as you passed the deceptive goodies and just focused on following Larry to the next destination. Once down from the mountain, both of you arrived at a place called ‘Stitchem Manor’, which seemed to be occupied by two lightbulbs and a monster. The family greeted Larry and seemed to notice you, despite you attempting to hide your taller figure behind the Elder Curator. The smaller lightbulb seemed to be very eager to meet you, as he strode up and waved and said a rather friendly hello. You timidly come out of hiding and meet up with him too. Returning the greeting politely. The lightbulb seems to happily chitter about as you stare at him. He then graciously introduces you to his father, a clear idol in his eyes, and his mother. Who wasn’t a monster. She just looked scary as hell.

You politely greet them in return and Larry explains your situation to the family. It seemed that Larry had decided to see if you could visit with the Pud family, which was a rather strange name, until he was through with his lessons at the popit academy. Seeing if one of them was available to show you around Bunkum until he came back later. You almost rolled your eyes at the thought of needing a guide or babysitter, but you didn’t know this place. So you really should stick with someone until you understand the ropes. The younger-looking lightbulb, who was named Newton, proudly volunteers to show you around Bunkum. A desire to give his ‘new strange-looking chum the best tour of Bunkum they have ever experienced’. So he says. Apparently, his parents were both worried about his proposal. Not because of you, but apparently Newton had caused a heap of trouble for the natives of Bunkum and was still in too-hot water because of it. Despite making peace with most of the locals and trying to clear his name from the titan incident...whatever that was. It sounds bad just by the name alone.

However, after enough begging, his parents gave in and decided to allow him to show you around Bunkum. Satisfied with the ordeal, Larry had headed off and Newton’s parents headed back inside the large manor.

Once alone, Newton had grabbed your hand before suddenly letting go in surprise. When questioned, he just stared and made a comment about how your ‘knitting’ felt strange against his hands. You just merely shrugged and walked ahead, Newton quickly taking the lead again as he rambled on and on about stuff to do while you were visiting.

The first stop was Manglewood. Which could only be reached by boat. Which just made the ride over much more boring than usual, except when Newton would talk about it and mention all the things to do there. It helped to pass the time until the island in question came into view. By appearance alone, you would’ve thought you both were lost in some bayou in the heart of Louisiana, but that wasn’t far enough from the truth. There were film reels, movie cameras, and set pieces all strewn about the landscape. Making it look like a set that was covered in moss and willows. However, you also took notice of a strange figure sitting at the edge of the landmass. Simply sitting there and watching the boat. Once close enough, you seemed to make out that it appeared to be...dog-like? Like a sock puppet type of dog? It was just waiting there and once you both touched down on land, it sped over to investigate. In which, it happily jumped aboard and sniffed around.

Once it glanced at Newton, it’s face changed to a certain type of disinterest but once it scanned over to you, it began to wag its’...butt...and bark happily. You confusedly look at the animal before waving and greeting the...dog-thing. Having it jump up on you and lick you with a fabric tongue, thankfully it didn’t seem to leave any slobber behind.

Newton explained that it was a creature called Oddsock and it seemed to be protecting Manglewood. He almost seemed a tad bit jealous that Oddsock had taken a liking to you so quickly, even if he didn’t show it openly.

He led you off of the boat and further into Manglewood, the dog sticking close to your side.

There, you both found a man who introduced himself as Marlon Random.

He was quite a character. Looking like a spool of film with a strange hairstyle to go with it, the dancing, the personality, the references to movies and such...he was probably the most enjoyable to be around. He didn’t even seem to mind Newton. Greeting him as if it was any other day, in which Newton had replied half-heartedly and explained your situation. Once Marlon heard of your plight, he stopped and looked at you closer. Taking notice of your strange appearance as well, he nods and laughs lightly. Eager to show Manglewood to you, despite Newtons’ protests. You had decided to visit the space area and discovered that floating in space was incredibly fun. The zero gravity, peaceful music playing in the background, and just the weightlessness of it all...it was truly an experience. After that, he took you over to the old-style diner. You jammed out to some old-style tunes, which strangely came from Earth of all places, and you even tried to take a few bites out of the food laying around. Getting the same result as the one from Needlepoint Peaks. You even tried the milkshakes. Which were SO SWEET. Too sweet even!

It was like everything around here was made out of two dumptruck loads of sugar. Plus, you couldn’t really force past it, as it was strong enough to hurt your teeth anyway. One secret spit out later and you lot had decided to settle in for a bite.

With the exemption of you. So while Newton, Marlon, and even Oddsock enjoyed the food...you found yourself without a meal yet again. Your aching belly rumbling in disdain as you sigh quietly. You just had to endure for a bit longer...you would get home soon...hopefully. Thankfully there was water to drink. So you had that instead. Still, you had a kick watching Newton shove fries and pieces of food into that hole in his neck. Which made sense, as he simply couldn’t shove it past the glass that covered his head. It just made you wish you could enjoy it with them...wait...why were they looking at you...why were they laughing --? A tickling sensation pretty much crawled around you as those bothersome floating objects began to stick to you again, resulting in you crying out in agitation and shaking about in the seat to dislodge them. Your companions seemed to find the situation hilarious as you pluck them off and flick them away from yourself. Huffing a bit at your group as they laugh at your grumpiness. But once it was all said and done, the last places being too ‘dangerous’ for you to explore, you both decided it would be time to head out to the Ziggurat. You would’ve headed to a place called ‘Zom Zom’s’ however Newton explained that he only took a special type of currency called ‘collectabells’, which got a chuckle out of you. Sadly, you didn’t really have any currency at all. So you skipped on going there. He probably wouldn’t have anything in your size anyway. So, both of you cross the bridge and ride the gondola into the distance while Marlon and Oddsock waved you both off. In no time at all, the temperature began to drop and snow began to fall from the sky. The wind from the gondola didn’t help the situation either, your clothes could barely keep out the chill. Newton didn’t seem bothered by it, which wasn’t a surprise to you. That fluffy coat he was wearing looked comfortable.

You would ask to wear it, but it was just too small for you. Plus, Lightbulbs radiate heat, so he was probably all warm and toasty underneath that fabric. Talk about being lucky.

Finally, the gondola came to a hill and along that hill seemed to be a towering figure. It almost looked like a burlap sack...like something you would shove potatoes in. Once closer though, it seemed similar to the last creature you encountered.

If logical reasoning could be fathomed here, that must be this land’s protector as well. Seeing by how they grew alert to the approaching elevator. Once it stopped and you and Newton stepped off, the large figure approached curiously. Similar to before, the creature met Newton with a poker face about as blank as the snow, but he gave you a rather silly smile once he looked in your general direction. What you didn’t expect was a large friendly hug to accompany that smile. You were pretty much scooped up and pressed against the taught cloth-chest of the large figure, gasping for air as it cuddled you. Newton began by explaining that this was the Ziggurat, which also happened to be Toggles’ home. Which was the name of the creature hugging you. He told you about the grand library and the ballets that would be held here every day and that hopefully you would enjoy the shows while you both were here. With a few desperate taps on Toggle, you were released and were finally able to get a full breath of air. You almost felt bad for Toggle’s worried face, but a reassured pat on their arm seemed to make them satisfied that you were okay. You walk along, following Newton as he gives you a brief tour of the entrance. Toggle following close behind you both as you walk towards a large and towering brass-like structure that was the centerpiece of this frozen wasteland.

Then, you met Papal Mache in the temple sanctum. Who gave Newton a rather skeptical glance after your arrival before staring at you for a brief moment. Once again, another remark on your appearance was made.

It almost made you wanna put a bag over your head and hide away from the world.

And what is with everyone asking where your ‘stitching’ was? You’re not made of fabric!

You just let out another sigh as Newton repeated the spill from earlier encounters while you busied yourself by looking at the temple architecture. From the looks of it, it seemed to be the insides of a large pipe organ, with stained glass windows of ballerinas and russian-esque soldiers. Which made sense, as Russia was known for its musical culture and revered classics in the modern world. While you admired the art and such, Papal Mache seemed to understand and decided to escort you both down to the library. Which was being looked after by...a dog...woman...thing.

You simply just shake your head and decide to listen in on her history lessons that were offered to you, which were indubitably interesting and selectively inspiring.

Especially once you began to read some of the pamphlets that Toggle helped save from a flood. Toggle even stayed and sat down to listen to his heroic deeds for a bit. Out of curiosity, you pick up one of the pamphlets. No wonder the lady-dog would’ve been so upset to lose some of this history, it was pretty interesting! However, it was short-lived once Newton grew bored and pulled you away from the library with a rushed goodbye to the friendly dog lady. Nearly leaving Toggle behind. Only then did you realize how cold you were getting from the temperature after sitting still on a cold floor. You begin to shudder as the cold wind brushes against you and you slow down as the cold bites at your flesh.

Curiously, Newton had questioned what was wrong as you trembled helplessly in the frigid gales. Once you explained that humans can get something called hypothermia from excessive cold and die, Newton practically flipped his lid.

A quick grasp of your hand and he took off with you in tow.

He quickly rushed past Papal Mache and through the temple to get you to a large furnace on the other side.

Once close enough, you could feel the warmth of the furnace melting away the freezing ice that had wrapped itself around your body. Replacing it with warmth and comfort. Once at the entrance, you graciously sit down on the warmed metal and let out a blissful sigh of relief. You were pretty much scolded by Newton for not telling him earlier and a worried Papal Mache arrived on scene not much later. A brief questioning later and Papal figured it might be best if you don’t stay here too long. Not that he didn’t enjoy new visitors, but because you just weren’t equipped for such freezing temperatures. Which were even worse when night fell.

You nodded in understanding and let out a sigh of brief disappointment, but the snow was hard to endure at this point. Once you thawed out, you both would be heading to your final destination, Bunkum Lagoon.

The sound of small rapid footsteps grace your ears as a smaller version of the big guy came scuttling onto the scene. A brief slide later and suddenly it was the big guy again! Only then did you realize what ‘Toggle’ meant. It made you almost wanna laugh. Papal Mache decided to speak up to the large silent hero about your incident and Toggle seemed to become saddened by the news, but nodded in understanding anyway. You felt bad for such a rapid departure, but what else could be done? It was best to finish touring Bunkum so you could get back to Stitchem Manor so you could wait for Larry. Once you got warm enough, you stood up from the ground and Newton rejoined you as both of you walked back into the temple and towards the back where a large elevator awaited. Both of you got on and Papal Mache and Toggle waved their farewells as the elevator began to move and drop down. You had no idea how this would get you to a lagoon, but if you weren’t at the risk of getting hypothermia, you may like it a bit more… Newton seemed to be more apprehensive about this place, unlike the last two places you both visited. He began to talk about a wicked queen who probably boils her disrespectful subjects in hot oil and how she would probably tear him limb from limb if she as much as smelled him. You probably broke a sweat listening to his anxious worries about the next destination. Didn’t seem to be as peaceful as the last two places, just from what he was saying alone. You gulped as the air began to become more humid as the elevator slowed to a stop.

Once outside, the first thing your eyes caught was the sunset that was glistening over the very large lake that resided in a city filled with towering spires and buildings. You couldn’t hide a gasp of awe as you stepped out into the residential areas and admired the masquerade theme that the city had going for it. Plus, there were airships and clouds as far as your eyes could see. It was truly breathtaking. Newton slowly slinked out after you, scanning around as if to keep an eye out for danger. You had thrown caution to the wind as you walked out further into the Lagoon, Newton squeaking and following behind you for a change. You pretty much just happily stroll through the town, looking at all of the cardboard, stickers, and crafted creatures fluttering about. A stark contrast to a human like yourself.

Suddenly, a sudden shout came from above. The noise made Newton cry out in fear as he hid behind yourself as a hovering platform came into your view. On top of it was a marionette looking female as she called down to the both of you. From the tone of her voice, you already knew you weren’t gonna like her. Her tone was bratty and easily portrayed the type that she was. That type being a heavily spoilt princess that expected everyone to obey and respect them, despite them not deserving any. She was also being followed by another sack creature, this one resembling a bird. She immediately began to chew out Newton for one reason or another, you weren’t exactly paying attention as she hissed at your companion. It was almost like she was demanding an explanation as to why he was in ‘her’ kingdom. Newton had managed to pluck up enough courage to creep out from behind yourself as he explained your situation once more. About how you were from ‘very far away’ and a friend had asked if someone was willing to show Bunkum to the newcomer. Despite the fact that he tried to pass it off as him trying to make amends by doing this ‘tour’ with you. Despite the fact that he selflessly volunteered for it, no pressuring from his father or anything. Still, you said nothing as the ‘Queen of Bunkum’ introduced herself to you and you to Swoop, who had landed and was staring at you after giving Newton another neutral passing glance. It even almost seemed to flutter happily for a bit. It made you wonder why all of these sack creatures seemed to be happy to see you, but that can be pondered later. Right now, you just wanted to go and explore this last location before the night began to fall.

With courtesy, you bowed a bit and greeted Pinky. Being sure to call her ‘queen’ in a respectful manner. She looked like the type that was prone to suck-ups.

In which you assumed correctly. Almost seemingly flustered with your polite behavior, she cackles a bit before welcoming you to the Lagoon and ‘knowing fully well that you WILL enjoy your stay ’. However she does give you a warning to keep ‘that yellow ninny’ out of trouble, to which you assured her that she had nothing to be concerned for. Satisfied, she calls swoop back to her side and the levitating platform hovers off into the distance. A thankfully short encounter. Newton lets out a relieved sigh as you continue on. A desire to explore in your veins as the sun continues to set. It was kinda sad that you couldn’t hang out with the bird like you could the other two, but it probably has a job protecting the queen. Still, you continued on. Your lightbulb co-conspirator follows you from close behind. Just waiting to see what you decide to do with the rest of your day. And It was a rather eventful rest of the day.

Both you and Newton had attended various events. Such as an air joust festival, a puppet show, and you two even climbed the tallest tower in the district and listened to the bells of the tower ring. You even got to see the ‘legendary creative heart’, which was strangely disturbing. Despite it being just a giant valentine heart with large bird wings, it still pulsed like an actual heart. You honestly didn’t know how the locals could stand being next to it for so long. Even from this distance it was loud enough for you to hear. You just brush it off and try to ignore all of the bothersome floaty things that came from it. Hopefully none of them would stick to you. At the end of your trip, you both stopped on a pier to watch the sunset over the lagoon. The purple and pink clouds just brought out a tranquility in the atmosphere that almost made you forget about your troubles and your lingering sleepless exhaustion. Despite being here for about a few days, you were starving and getting any sleep was rather rare. Mostly since weird things would occur while you were dozing.

You fell asleep in the rocketship once and a large flower garden had grown up around you while you had slept and you only took notice when you woke up. It was hard to explain it to Larry. You even crashed in Clive’s factory and when you awakened, some new robots were by your side. Seemingly not made in the factory at all, as they didn’t even have the same body shape as the Sackbots. Clive was about as stumped as you were when you showed him. It was just...when you fell asleep, weird stuff would happen to you and the things that surrounded where you were sleeping. So now, you just try to stay awake as much as possible. Even if your eyelids felt like cinder blocks and tiredness nipped at your aching muscles. The thing that bothered you the most as your empty stomach.

If you couldn’t sleep nor eat, how would you even make it out of here?

There was no sustenance to keep you going. You’re pretty much running on emergency energy right now. Burning stored calories and trying to stay alive while you were at it. The constant insomnia was also wearing down on you. You just felt like you could fall asleep right here on the pier. But Newton jostles you awake by reminding you that you both had to head back to Stitchem Manor before night fell on Bunkum. You nod slowly in understanding and finally muster the strength to stand up with a long stretch. From there, Newton led the way back to his home. Leading back the way you came. Back up the mountain, back through the Ziggurat, back down the mountain, through the swamp again, and back to the boat. Once you both set sail, you watch the sinking sun with a lazy gaze.

It was quite a trip...but you really wish you were home. It wasn’t like you were miserable here. These strangers were so nice and open to you, despite your off-putting appearance. You just wished you had something to eat right now...and maybe a nap. Or a thousand year sleep, which would be far better. Still, Stitchem Manor came into view at the cliffside and you both began to dock the boat. By the time you both arrived home, the sky had turned to twilight as you slowly walked after Newton.

Who seemed to be rather jovial after todays ‘adventure’. Both Nana Pud and Captain Pud were there to greet you both at the gates of the manor, Larry Da Vinci was there as well. Seemingly having an idle chit chat while you both arrived. Once you two were noticed, you sluggishly came to a stand still next to Larry while Newton griped about being pampered by his doting mother. You and Larry couldn’t help but chuckle as you all said your goodnights and you and Larry headed away from the manor. You manage to look over your shoulder as the younger lightbulb seems to be happily waving to you while he and his parents go inside the manor. You returned the favor, albeit a bit more slowly as exhaustion slowly caught up to you. Once you were out of sight of the manor, Larry had asked how your day went. You pretty much told him everything. About the fun you had in Manglewood, the freezing experience in the Ziggurat, and the jousting shows in Bunkum Lagoon. You spoke of all the people you met and how Newton was informative and made sure to look after you. It seemed to earn Larrys’ approval as he nods as the pod comes into sight. Once you both were aboard and a course was set for Craftworld, you decided to settle in on the pillows on the far side of the pod. Where it was a bit quieter than the control room. Larry decided that he would drive you both back to Craftworld while you took a nap. You didn’t mind and happily accepted the offer. Though, he probably could tell that you weren’t getting enough sleep. You could practically see the darkness lining your eyes.

Now you were wrapped up in soft materials and laying in a nest made from pillows and such. Your mind was so tired and strained from being awake for so long that all you could think about was how many people you met in the last few days. How many potential friends you could make...but it was still a mystery as to how you arrived on Craftworld in the first place. Let alone how to get out of this dimension and safely back to Earth. If you wanted to go back...that is. I mean, you were still hungry. Even more so now. You could only sigh as the feelings of hunger went away some time ago after you tried to not focus on anything. You were still lost. Even if you met some friendly faces along the way. Still... how did you get here? And how do you get back? You merely blink as these questions run through your mind and you just let out a deep exhale and close your eyes tightly. You just needed some sleep for now. Maybe this is all just one big fever dream and you’ll wake up back in your normal bed with normal humans around you. No fabric, no cardboard, so sponges...just flesh and bones. Organic stuff... REAL stuff.

Or...at least the things you HOPE were REAL things. Oh, but it was just another problem to solve for tomorrow.

You let out another final long sigh as your heavy eyes finally close and you drifted off to sleep in record time.

Blissfully unaware of the images and energy seeping from your head while you slept peacefully throughout the whole trip back to Craftworld.

[werezmastarbucks]

more like honeymoon [3]

previous part

word count: 2279

warnings: idk why I keep making Damon the butt of the joke

music: in the text

SMITHEREENS by twenty one pilots segment

You were exhausted beyond belief as you sped down the road. Soon, there’s a very familiar turn that leads towards the Salvatore mansion. And from there, the exit into the normal, moving world. You couldn’t believe you’d see them again. Even Damon, whose guts you came to hate over time, even before he threw you into prison. That’s what isolation does to a person. That’s what the illusion of freedom does to a human. Prison was prison after all.

You nearly crashed into the tree that stood lonely on the turn, the landmark Salvatore oak. It would’ve killed you, and that was unnecessary now.

There were three shadows on the lawn as you left the car. It was almost midnight. You limped across the yard, feeling ribs poke your lungs. Kai must have cracked at least one from how hard he punched back. He never held back, in anything, and for that, you respected him. Because he respected you enough to inflict real pain, like you were equal. Although you clearly weren’t.

Elena didn’t stand the tension and ran towards you, got you in her arms, and you suffocated on her Elena smell. The smell of home. You couldn’t believe you were going back now. Damon was the same. Why wouldn’t he be? Dark and ironic, a little concerned, he evaluated you with his careful glance.

“How did you get away from him?”

“I killed the motherfucker”, you grumbled. The wounds were fresh, both physical and mental. Realizing that you’ve technically been his prisoner all this time... That is something yet to digest. Here you had the honors to finally be the last of Kai’s archtypes: the victim. You had been a lover, a friend and an ally already. Like an invisible hand was dealing Tarot cards, now you had to get a mouthful of bitterness. You brushed it aside.

“So I had some time ahead”.

“How have you been?” Elena asked, without letting go of you. You eyed the third silhouette, almost blending in with the night darkness. The witch, to do the spell. It was somebody you didn’t know: a tall, dark guy, a little menacing. Who knows what changed in nine months.

“Does he know where you went?” Damon asked.

“Of course he does. But he’s there, and I’m here. Can I go sleep now? We have to do it tomorrow, or he’s going to catch up with us”.

Damon narrowed one eye. The prick didn’t trust you. Perhaps the memories of you opposing him were too fresh.

“You sure you’re ready to leave your boyfriend here?” he asked. Elena shot him a warning glance.

You lifted your shirt, wincing painfully, to show the blue bruising on your ribs. You could swear it was the shape of Kai’s loving kiss.

In the house, you were turning your head right and left as if something could change here. Virtually everything was the same, except three (!) new people inside. The witch boy was quiet. He looked like he was cautious, and you thought, he should be, in case Kai catches him.

Elena brought you a cup of coffee. You noticed a hip of winter coats in the corner of the room, piled up on the couch. The fireplace was blazing as if it was cold outside, too.

“What month is it?” you asked, dizzy with exhaustion and pain.

“It’s Christmas”, Elena said.

“Are you going to be okay? Do you need... blood?”

“I’ll be fine at midnight. The day starts again, and my body is the same as when I first came here... well, you know”.

You looked at Damon, tried to picture him here, when he was stuck here with Bonnie and Kai. He must have been going crazy in this cage with two people he found hard to tolerate. His eyes were flickering thoughtfully with the flames from the fireplace.

“Hey”, you looked at the witch guy. You realized you didn’t know his name. You reached out to him, and he accepted your hand.

“I’m Frank”, he said gloomily. Elena looked at her wristwatch.

“Oh”.

“What?”

“That’s a funny name for a witch”, you said, “all the witches I know have extra names”.

Frank shrugged like it was a punch at him.

“Frank, I’m scared Kai will come. He knows I’m going back, and he doesn’t want to let me go”.

“Yeah, what are we going to do if he comes?” Elena asked, fear in her eyes. She really was afraid of Kai. That still impressed you. You still felt like a child, amazed at something. He scared somebody like this. So that they look out the window, small shivers on the back of their necks, their eyes darting from side to side. He creeped someone out so hard their lips went dry as they sucked the air in, listening hard, listening for his steps approaching. Your Kai.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put a signal spell. It will shield the territory around the house. If someone approaches - anybody at all - we’ll know”.

The three of you looked at Frank. He looked grave, like he was taking this whole thing too seriously. You wondered how long he’s been in this Mystic Falls mess. How little he meant for the rest of them that they decided he’d be fit to go here and face you and Kai Parker.

You blinked tiredly.

“I’m blacking out. I need some sleep”, you muttered. Coffee did not energize you; quite the opposite. The soft warm liquid made you want to sleep badly. Your mortal yesterday’s body was almost collapsing.

Elena helped you come upstairs into Stefan’s room, and you nested on his bed.

This whole rapid trip over the whole country almost got you dead. It was crazy. In the morning, you were back in Hawaii, in your spacious, beautiful house on the North Shore of Oahu, and now you were back here on the edge of Virginia, trying to fight your way back into the usual world where living and traveling cost, where there were rules and people ready to stop you when you get too carried away with having fun... You wondered what you loved so much about that outer world, and it was your last thought before you fell asleep.

In the morning, everybody looked much better and more relaxed. You stretched your back, hearing the bones crack healthily, and the only pain you felt from yesterday was ghostly. It would pass soon, just like hurt from being deceived by the person you loved the most in the world. Once you get out...

The time of eclipse was coming. You felt weird, hollow as you sat at the breakfast table, and thought of all the breakfasts Kai made you. He was so inventive. Nine months is thirty days nine times. Not once you had the same breakfast. He had all the ways to cook food in his head, and it horrified you. He had spent so much time alone he has learnt literally everything one can learn. It was wrong.

You packed your bag and brought it downstairs. Damon eyed it judgingly. You reckoned he was being so cold because he felt extremely guilty. You could bet your own life that the moment they did the spell he was sorry about being harsh. He wished he could get you back. Inside, Damon was soft, but outside, he had this thick, hard skin that was almost like scar tissue.

“What’s this?”

“These are my things”.

Damon’s eyes narrowed, and he was about to say something sarcastic, but Frank rushed in between you, pushing you away and out of the house.

“We gotta go”, he said shortly. And nodded at the bag.

“Damon, you’ll get it? Let’s go”.

Elena was carrying the coats in her hands as disgruntled Damon walked side by side with her with your bag.

“The witch boy is getting too bold”, he thought out loud.

“I just want to get away from here before this guy comes here and kills us all”, Frank replied without changing the pace. He was walking through the forest, leading the way.

“We won’t get out of here before eclipse either way”, you reminded him.

“Uh-huh”.

“Is it cold there?” you asked Elena. She shook her head to throw the hair away from her face.

“This winter is very cold. Just like when we were little kids”.

You could feel excitement rise in you. Christmas. Snow. Changing days. It was good before, and was about to get even better. You almost shone from the inside.

The witch observed the forest. He was very quiet. You looked through the trees too, bringing the last look on this strange world that became not what it was supposed to be to you.

You descended into the well of the cave, Damon threw your bag on the ground right into the circle of the sun.

“What’s inside anyway?”

“Clothes”.

“Clothes?” he repeated, apalled.

“Listen, there’s things you can’t get back in 2010s. Rare things. And expensive jewelry, okay? I got diamonds there, Damon, I’m not throwing them away”.

Damon was silent for some time. He was trying to figure out, inside his brain, what life has been like for you, for the last nine months. He would never guess right, even though he must have been pretty close.

Everybody looked up at the sky and the dark ring coming to consume the sun. Palpable nervousness filled the air. You stepped towards each other. Elena pursed her lips like she was pondering something.

“Isn’t it bad we’re leaving him again?” she asked.

They all looked at you like you could give them a prognosis on Kai.

“Fuck that guy”, you said gloomily. Frank shook his hands like a surgeon before the operation. Damon was eyeing you with dark satisfaction.

“He wasn’t what you expected?”

You kept silent.

“Did he hurt you?”

You thought of all the times Kai accidentally slapped you on the head while he was cooking. His damn hands always flying all over the kitchen. After being slapped around like a junior dish girl, you learnt to stay away when he’s busy with the pans and plates. The only thing you did was chopping.

“A lot”, you replied.

Elena squeezed your hand.

“Isn’t he going to be much worse once he gets out?” Frank asked suddenly, “If you said he was that mad before... now that we’re taking away Y/N and leaving him behind. And if he has the spell and the ascendant, that means he’s going to get out on his own, and he’ll be vengeful”.

His words echoed in the cave like hammer.

“Bonnie’s destroying this world as soon as we get out”, Damon said. Your head snapped to him.

“What?”

“He won’t have time to get out. He’ll need to wait until tomorrow, and by that time, this prison world will be gone. And Parker will be gone, too”.

There wasn’t much more time for talking; the eclipse was almost full. You took the witch’s elbow as he chanted and lifted the new ascendant, letting it levitate. Elena held your hand on the other side. As Frank’s hand got free, he took your palm and squeezed it, too, and you finally realized you’re going home.

The white light shone upon you, carrying you and your bag away.

The forest was white, too. Your ankles slowly got cold and, as you looked down, you saw snow. It was closing to evening in the woods in Mystic Falls, and the light was slowly draining from the sky. From the first look it seemed like the real universe wasn’t as brilliant as the magical prison world.

You couldn’t believe you made it. You sighed to see the foggy air leaving your mouth. And saw Damon and Elena’s mutilated smiles turning into gaping mouths of anguish. The traveling spell wore out almost all magic from Kai, and he turned back into his usual self, dropping Frank skin. In the last blast of remaining magic, he threw his hand forward and sent the vampires away. The leaped through the air, Damon further and higher than Elena. She must have bought him the last second when she regretted leaving Kai behind. You told yourself once again, he was changing. There was a twisted type of rationality in him now. You stood on one leg as the cold snow pierced your feet through your Converse sneakers.

Damon was impaled on the thick outstanding branch on a tree, groaing in pain. Elena was thrown against another tree, twisting in the air, and collided with the shaft with her back, breaking her spine in half. They didn’t manage to utter a word.

Damon was now hanging there, cursing like a sailor he might have been once, many years ago.

“Cold?” Kai asked. You shrugged.

“Should’ve gotten some warm shoes, too”.

“Ah, you weakling. It’s just snow!”

“I’m just going to get sick, Kai”.

He looked at you and smiled. You knew everything would go well, and you were still happy to see him, like it was a crazy stunt he was supposed to pull. Although you knew that by the time you went to bed last night Frank had already been dead.

“Hop on”, he gave up, picking up your bag. You pushed on his shoulders and jumped on his back, clutching his sides with your knees. You pressed your face to the back of his head for a second. Soft, slightly curly hair. Your Kai.

The last things Damon heard from the tree were,

“Let’s nick his car”.

“No”.

“Why not?!”

“Because we’re not scoundrels, Kai! It’s not the magical world anymore, you can’t steal people’s cars!”

“Oh my god...”

[the-archxr]

Can You Feel the Love Tonight? || S.H.

steve harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: Dustin, Steve and Robin have a good dynamic. It’s been that way for a while now. But now that you’re involved, well, let’s just say Dustin doesn’t quite know how to deal with that.

A/N: Okay so I know that the Lion King didn’t come out until ‘94, meaning the song Elton John released didn’t come out until then, however I was heavily inspired by rewatching the original Lion King and just recently watching the new Lion King (which I absolutely loved and cried majorly, by the way). This fic is based off of the version in the (1994 + 2019) movie and that whole dynamic because I’m Stranger Things and Disney trash. I highly recommend listening to either version of the song while reading this or prior cause idk it kind of put me in the romantic, wistful mood. Be prepared (hehe) cause this is some fluffy shit. Also I busted this out in a day, so here you are, babes x

Warnings: flustered Steve?? Jealous Dustin?? That’s pretty much it though

Song Inspo: Can You Feel the Love Tonight (The Lion King Soundtrack and Elton John)

•••••

“Unbelievable.” Dustin scoffs. “Un-fucking-believable!”

“Hey language, shitbird!” Robin scorns him from the driver’s seat.

“Sorry—I’m sorry, just...” The boy adjusts himself as best as possible to peer even more over the dash of Robin’s car. “Can you believe this?”

Dustin’s voice goes up a few octaves as he turns a crazed eye to his friend. Robin simply stares back at him with a rather disinterested expression.

It isn’t until Dustin let’s out another scoff and overly dramatic roll of his eyes that they stop staring at each other. But then again, Robin knew he wouldn’t be able to resist staring at their two friends in the restaurant for long.

Robin takes note of Dustin’s face, and she can’t help but shake her head in amusement. It was a nice evening, families and couples were walking around or into the diner that they were parked only a stones throw away from. Outside of her car, the atmosphere was gentle and calm, but inside the car, it was intense, humourous (on her side) and frustrating.

The stark difference in environments only added to Dustin’s annoyance and tension that she was sure would boil over soon like heated milk.

Dustin yanks the binoculars off of his neck and raises them in front of his eyes as he fiddles around with the eye pieces. “I mean...she literally just got back!” She literally just got back and now her and Steve are having fun. Without him.

She doesn’t even know him that well.

“Yeah, like a week ago.” Robin intervenes.

“Still!”

Robin looks over at her friend and rolls her eyes, beginning to play with the stereo in an attempt to relieve herself of boredom. “Why can’t we just go home, kid? I mean, they’re not hurting anyone.”

“Yes, they are!” Dustin had enunciated every syllable in pursuit of communicating to his friend that this whole situation, ultimately, was a mistake. “Robin, she’s literally ruining our entire dynamic!”

Robin leans back into the squeaky old seat even more, turning her gaze to the tacky carpeted roof of her tacky car. “She’s your sister, dude. Take a chill pill... I mean, aren’t you happy she’s back?” Robin finally turns to her comrade, still lying back however to broadcast to the kid that she was tired and didn’t care about the date occurring before them.

Dustin sighs and places his two fingers on the bridge of his nose. “Of course I am, Robin but like—seriously?!”

Robin notes that the almost-teenagers attention span runs shorter than that of a goldfish. But she humours him anyway and turns to what Dustin continues to be spastic about.

Dustin makes the scene before them out to be like a traumatic, vomit-inducing nightmare. If anything, however, the scene before the pair is actually kind of nice. Romantic, even.

And even with Robin pointing that out to him, Dustin continues to determine the display of affections as traumatic and vomit-inducing.

When Y/N came home from New York last week, the first thing Dustin did was take her to the video store where he wanted to join up his three favourite people in friendship. Because that’s as far as it was supposed to go.

He wanted Y/N to be friends with Robin and Steve, but not to be super close. Afterall, they were his friends. The three of them were a trio long before Y/N even mentioned coming home. The state of elite hierarchy among their group of friends was supposed to always be there with them. Not her.

It was Steve, Robin and himself that hung out on Friday nights and watched cheesy horror films. It was the three of them that went out for milkshakes. It was the three of them that went to the arcade.

But ever since he excitedly introduced his sister to Steve it was all of a sudden Y/N this and Steve that. Steve would always ask about Y/N, and Y/N would always ask about Steve. And, to top it all off, they even used the same tactic of hiding their rampant questions with the idea of it being meaningless curiosity.

They’re both idiots. But they’re idiots that should’ve always stayed fifty feet apart. 

At first, the consistent inquiries were found to be harmless by Dustin. Yes, they were a little annoying. But harmless.

Everything was perfectly fine.

Until yesterday, when Steve Harrington (Dustin’s supposedly loyal mentor, advisor and comrade) asked his sister—Y/N Henderson out to dinner right in front of Dustin’s face.

To say Dustin was furious would be an understatement.

So, Dustin Henderson felt he had to do what he does best. Investigate. (With the intent of destroying.)

Thus, the situation Robin and Dustin are currently in.

Robin ultimately tried to decide against being there. Afterall, the dingus had actually gotten a point on the “you rule” side; and even though Steve’s flirting hasn’t improved, Y/N and him do seem to really like each other. For once, Steve “the Hair” Harrington wasn’t being an idiot. And (even though she’d never admit it) she was actually excited for both of them.

But Dustin wasn’t.

Dustin wasn’t at all.

Although Robin had desperately tried to convince her child friend not to do anything to compromise Steve and Y/N’s situation and to let the two have their space, Dustin still showed up on her doorstep with binoculars and a backpack muttering something along the lines of spycraft.

After mauling through her thoughts for a few moments Robin perked up. “Dustin,” she began.

The boy let the binoculars he had been gripping so tightly fall aimlessly against his chest. And although Dustin’s head was turned to Robin’s in complete annoyance, he was still listening.

For the first time that evening Dustin was actually paying attention to her, so Robin knew she had to make this quick. Thankfully though, Robin decided to actually refer to the boy by his name and not some random thing she came up with on the spot that may or may not have been mildly insulting. Rarely did she use his actual name, so when she did he knew he had to listen because she was being serious.

“I want to know, and you have to be completely honest with me...” He doesn’t nod, but he raises his eyebrows, which is enough of a response for her. Robin readjusts herself in the seat (although there isn’t much room to do that). “Why are you so against...that?” Robin waves her hand in front of her, signaling to the two smiling people tucked away in a corner booth.

Dustin pauses, and, for a moment feels as though he’s about to break. As he takes a glimpse at the setting sun and the soft glow exuding from the diners large windows—the windows that delicately outline the countless people who are smiling and genuinely having fun—Dustin does feel the slightest inkling of guilt about his position. But more importantly, he feels out of place. He feels a bit embarrassed and he knows that—

No!

That’s not why he’s here.

He’s here because they shouldn’t be here.

With a quick moment of rememberance for his previous intentions and the point of this operation Dustin ignores Robin’s statement and picks up the binoculars, zooming in on his target.

However his mind can’t help but register what Robin had said, and oddly he feels offended. Disasters in the air and Dustin wonders as to how Robin can’t possibly comprehend that.

She’s supposed to be on his side. Not theirs.

The binoculars he had picked up only a moment ago were once again let go of so he could start making wild gestures at Robin. “How can you not be against it?!”

“It’s sweet—“

“It’s bullshit.” Dustin’s body is now slightly leaning over the centre console as he stares Robin dead in her eyes. “Can’t you see what’s happening, Robin?”

Robin (being the literal smartass she is) responds. “Yeah, it’s two people who are attracted to each other enjoying a nice dinner.”

Dustin groans and roughly drags his hand down his face. He then slaps his hand on the dashboard. “Yeah, but guess what?! One date leads to two dates. Two dates leads to three. And eventually the more dates they have the more official they will become. Then they’ll start calling each honey and sweetie, and then they’ll move in together and then they’re gonna’ get married and have a shit ton of babies and I’ll be alone.”

Robin’s eyes widen at the knowledge of the boys confession. However, she isn’t sure he fully realizes what he confessed to because Dustin continues with his animated rant.

He feels the tone of his voice go down respectively, but not so much so that it disregards his conclusion. “The bottom line, Robin, is that they’ll fall in love, and our trio is down to two. Dos, Robin. Dos people. You. And me.” He jabs at the air between them. “And all of this bullshit will happen while Steven over there swaps spit with my sister.”

Robin laughs heartily at the words that leave Dustin’s mouth.

He turns to her in shock, mouth slightly open, and eyes squinted. He feels his baseball cap ever so slightly shifting lower on his head but quite frankly he doesn’t care about that at the moment.

“You think this is funny.” It’s more of a statement than a question, but it is just as aggressive with the same amount of frustration laced within the inflection of his voice.

Robin cackles and leans backward in her seat. Her seat squeaks again, therefore making Robin laugh even harder. The whole situation—she finds—is just too trippy and she knows it probably looks absolutely ridiculous.

Dustin shakes his head and crosses his arms in exasperation. He doesn’t understand why Robin is dying of laughter when there is a very prevalent and extreme issue at hand.

He snaps his head forward, his jaw and arms tightening in unison. His gaze travels up to the rear view mirror and he pauses...

Only for a moment though because he’s take a proper look at himself and he even admits he looks kind of funny. What with the huge pout gracing his mouth, his curly hair falling in his face and his arms crossed over his body so tight he just might cut off circulation.

But he won’t let anything distract him now. Not when—

“Shit!” He hurls up out of his seat and bangs his head on the roof of the car. His hand goes to the top of his head quickly, but it immediately retreats because oh my god, that cannot he happening!

“Hey, hey, watch the car!” Robin yells jokingly. She’s stopped giggling but she can feel the tight pressure in her cheeks and stomach from laughing. Robin lolls her head back, attempting to alleviate her giggly nature and get back on track.

Except she’s so focused on calming herself down that she doesn’t even notice that Dustin has opened the car door and has started walking towards the restaurant.

But when she does see him stomping in front of her car, his fists clenched, with the image of Y/N and Steve laughing, splitting a milkshake like the two cliche idiots they are, she lunges out of her seat, slams the door shut and runs after the fourteen year old.

He certainly walks fast, but she’s faster and thank god she is, because Dustin’s fingers are already wrapped around the silver handle.

Robin yanks Dustin by the collar of his vest and pulls him to the side, away from Steve and Y/N’s line of sight.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dustin whispers angrily.

“Saving your ass!” She whispers back. She inhales deeply and smiles awkwardly at an older man that walked by them, eyeing the two strangely. She turned her attention back to Dustin, a softer look on her face. “Leave them be, Henderson.”

“No! I can’t let them—they can’t...” He runs out of breath and stops short when he sees himself in the glass window.

His reflection obstructs his perception of himself for a moment. And soon he’s actually studying himself. But...more importantly, he can see Steve and Y/N more clearly now. The two of them are in the furthest corner—the quietest and most reclusive part of the diner. He watches them sadly.

And then Steve’s arms are flailing everywhere. He’s telling Y/N a story; a funny one at that because she’s laughing hysterically. Dustin recognizes the way his sister tries to hide her loud cackles. She looks...happy. Genuinely happy. And so does Steve. And Dustin can’t help but see how good they look together.

His smile is faint until he looks at his reflection once again.

He looks like shit. There’s bags under his eyes; and as light as they were, they’re still there. He notices how tense and restrictive his body looks, provoking him to try and loosen up.

It’s hard.

But it isn’t even his fault.

It’s Steve Harrington and Y/N Henderson’s fault.

“It’s their fault!” He yells out loud suddenly. He feels defensive. He’s upset. Not even mad, just simply...upset. And he’s taking it out on Robin. Wow. What kind of friend is he? “It’s their fault because they just had to...you know...they just had to!”

“Had to what, Henderson?” Robin asks calmly.

She frowns slightly because her friend is clearly troubled by the notion of being left alone by not only his best friend and mentor, but by his sister too. She’s moved a little closer to him by now; her hand only gracing his forearm. She’s not used to showing sympathy (she’s never really been in a situation where she had to) so she hopes that this is enough.

“They had to go and—and...give in to that—that dumb sexual electricity bullshit.”

Robin sighs and tucks a few strands of hair behind her ears. The two of them are standing there completely still. The initial anger and frustration has died down and Robin can no longer feel the tension radiate off of her child friend. With a shaky huff he shies away from her hand and slumps against the side of the brick building, jaggedly sliding down to the ground.

“It’s just...everything’s...changing. Everything’s changing and this is just the universe trying to prove it to me.” Dustin wipes at the sudden wet streaks that line his cheeks. He didn’t even notice that he began crying, but it’s too late to hide it from Robin because she’s already sitting beside him, giving him her most sympathetic look manageable.

“Hey...” She nudges his foot with hers. “It sucks...I know. I felt the same way when I was your age, you know? Everything just changes around you, and it sucks ‘cause you can’t control it at all. You can’t slow it down or speed it up. It just...happens.”

She places her hand on Dustin’s and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “But it gets better in the end.” He nods slowly and softly. “Look dingus, Steve, Y/N, you and I are still gonna’ be the best of friends. We just...won’t be the three musketeers.” She looks at Dustin and the stains on his cheeks.

“Hey, you know what? We’ll be something even cooler! You can decide what our group name is, yeah?” She punches him softly in the arm.

Dustin sniffles but attempts a smile. “We’re still a team, Dustin... There just happens to be a new person. The groups larger now and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Even if you don’t like it now, train yourself to, because Harrington, he’s—he’s a good guy you know, and he really likes your sister. A lot. And I hate to be the one to break it to you kid, and I know it’s hard for you to understand, but...whatever’s goin’ on in there...” Robin tilts her head towards the door. “That’s not our decision. That’s theirs.”

Dustin smiles weakly. The two sit in silence for a few seconds. Then Dustin wipes at his nose, and sniffs. He takes a deep breath. “At least...it’s not...the worst decision.” Robin smiles with a slight shake of her head.

“See? Just look on the bright side of things.”

“She likes him a lot, too, you know. I read it in her diary. She thinks he has a cute butt and nice hair.” Robin laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

The pair stand up and Robin guides them back to her car. “What do you say we go for ice cream, yeah? Kinda’ cool down. Relax a little.”

“Yeah, that—that sounds like a good idea.”

•••••

It was a beautiful night. The breeze that carried itself through Hawkins wasn’t too warm but wasn’t too cold either. The sun was in the midst of setting; the sky in transition between indigo and pale pink.

The sounds of crickets were melodic and delicate, and for once in your life they didn’t seem annoying. The lightning bugs that usually stay pretty dormant along in the bushes on the backroads were out in full force tonight; shining in all of their tiny glory.

The music from Steve’s stereo was soft. Loud enough to hear, but quiet enough to set a mood.

You felt like a child; giddy and weightless.

For some odd, inexplicable reason, the world tonight just seemed to work. You couldn’t tell if it was just sheer dumb luck, or if it was because what was happening between you and the boy next to you was meant to happen. Regardless of whatever higher power was working tonight, something out there seemed to understand. The universe around you seemed to understand.

The evening was peaceful, the atmosphere in Steve’s car was romantic and you’re positive that with all of this serenity, the world, and all of its living things couldn’t help but be in perfect harmony.

Bryan Adams voice gently moved in the space of Steve’s car. You could hear Steve begin to sing along and you felt your heart gently convulse with the butterflies in your stomach.

You look at him through the corner of your eye and you swear he isn’t real.

Honestly, how could someone who looks like that and is like that exist?

His soft brown eyes are focused on the road and you’re reminded of the fact that those eyes were staring at you all night. Steve is just so...beautiful. It’s simply unreal.

Your smiling like an idiot as you study him. You can feel it. You feel just as light and soft as the way his hair looks as it sways in the wind.

“Someone’s smiley.” Steve commented. You’re eyes widen as you snap back to reality. Your face grows hot. Your heartrate increases. Steve just caught you staring at him like a creep and you realize you couldn’t be anymore pathetic. But the second you see the curl of his lips and his eyes begin to smile at you, every negative thought you’ve had about whether or not you looked good enough tonight dissipated.

He’s an ethereal creature. And he’s looking at you the same way. He’s looking at you like you hung the stars and moon in the sky and you can’t think of anything else other than just kissing him. The only thing your body seems to know what to do though is smile.

But thats fine because Steve opens his mouth to speak, and you can feel yourself get lost in the tender tone of his words. “It’s okay, you know. I—I don’t mind.”

You laugh softly and make a measly attempt to cover your deepening blush with the sleeve of your sweater.

You somehow force yourself to look away and try to compose what little resolve you have left. But you’re still smiling.

And Steve from across the car is still smiling as well.

As you watch the brush fly past you, an unfamiliar warmth graces your fingertips that rest on the console.

Your head turns rather quickly to see what has just touched you and you come face-to-face with Steve’s red cheeks as his hand rests millimeters away from yours. “Can I—um...am—am I...allowed to, uh, h—hold your hand? Maybe?” Steve’s looking at you softly. You can’t function, so you don’t automatically respond. He turns to look at the dark road before him. The only place his eyes can be truly safe without giving all of his secrets away. “If you don’t want to that’s fine. That’s—that’s completely...fine. I—I don’t want to pressu—”

“Steve...” you whisper. You’re shocked that you can even speak because it honestly feels like you’re permanently breathless. You look directly in his eyes and relax your hand as your fingertips glide gently over his knuckles.

You feel his hand begin to shake slightly which calms down your nerves because he’s just as scared as you are.

There’s a reassuring feeling that sets itself within the cavity in your chest as your fingers intertwine with his. It’s a slow act; one that you both don’t want to jump into directly in fear of screwing it up. But in the end it works and it just feels so right and so magical.

You swear you have never felt this way in your entire life.

Steve’s hand feels exactly how you had imagined it countless times in the past couple of days.

Soft; pure; and breathtaking.

He feels the same way.

•••••

Steve pulls up in your driveway slowly. He doesn’t have to, but the closer to your house he gets, the closer you are to leaving and he’s not sure he’s prepared for that all.

The porch light is on and so is the living room light; confirming that Dustin has not yet went to bed.

Shit.

You frown as you suddenly try to figure out how you’re going to talk to him and what you’ll say. You knew he wasn’t too happy with the prospect of the date between you and Steve—he made that evidently clear. And you’d never admit it to him but it really hurt you a lot to know that you were hurting him. You thought he’d be overjoyed with the news but instead he became distant and moody.

But Steve had assured you that he’d talk to Dustin and the three of you would work it out. And from what you’ve seen of the close friendship between Dustin and Steve you knew if anyone could get through to your little brother, it was your date.

Steve opened the door for you and closed it once you got out.

You smoothed out your sweater (although there was nothing wrong with it) and you let your arms hang awkwardly at your sides. Whereas Steve shoved his one hand into the pocket of his jacket, and with the other one he hesitantly reached towards your hand that dangled outside of the sleeve of the thin white fabric. 

He was nervous... Really fucking nervous.

But the way you easily accepted the embrace of his fingers made Steve feel as though he might pass out.

His heart felt like it was going to explode, and the fact that he damned himself by looking over to you smiling in the faint light emanating from the window...

God. He was an idiot. But...the thought that you might want him just as bad as he wants you; and that maybe one day, he gets to be your idiot made him weak in the knees.

Something he never thought could happen.

You looked even softer and prettier than you did earlier in the evening; which pained Steve because first of all, how could someone become increasingly more beautiful the more he looked at them; and how could he restrain himself from just holding your face and kissing you until the both of you could no longer breath?

“Well, this is me.” You say out loud, and curse yourself afterward because god, you sound so stupid.

“This is you.” Steve replies, sounding equally as stupid.

But, regardless of whether or not the both of you can talk doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’re smiling at him with a sense of warmth and what he hopes is adoration. The realization that yes, for once he isn’t a screw up and he is finally going to get the girl causes him to shuffle closer to you.

The tips of your shoes are touching his and the butterflies begin erupting again because the act itself is small, yet whole-heartedly adorable.

Steve then takes his other hand and links it with yours. You try to hide the way your body is reacting to Steve holding both of your hands so intimately; but it’s proving itself to become increasingly more difficult when suddenly the two of you are inches away from each other. His warm breath fans over your face and you notice that all you have to do is just move your head forward a little more before you’re actually kissing him.

“I had a really good time tonight, Stevie.” He chuckles lightly at the use of his new nickname.

Coming from anyone else it would’ve sounded stupid, but since it’s coming from you, Steve feels as though he’s floating.

It isn’t a special nickname, but it feels similar to one because now it rests within him as a placeholder. You said it, and only you can say it from this moment on.

The feeling that he gets when you say, “Stevie” ignites a livid presence of emotion deep in his psyche.

“Me too.”

He’s falling. Hard.

And it’s becoming really fucking challenging because you are looking very beautiful. And you’re smiling at him. All wistful and delicate.

The lip gloss you had on refracts the light beside you lightly, enough to make your lips (the part of you that he’d been staring at for pretty much the entire night now) shine and stand out to him.

Oh, yeah.

He’s definitely falling.

“Are you two just going to stand there, or are you gonna’ get in the house already?” Dustin is standing in the open doorway, one hand on the door handle and the other on his hip.

He seems annoyed, which brings down your spirits a little.

Steve is attentive and picks up on your sadness. He frowns slightly, but tries to disguise it because he doesn’t want to make you anymore upset. Although the boy really, really wants to kiss you goodnight, he respects you and Dustin. He decides against it. For now, at least.

You let go of Steve’s hands, still smiling softly at him as you slowly step through the threshold of your house. “Goodnight, Steve.”

“‘Night, Y/N.” He replies with a soft grin.

You walk out of his line of sight, but you don’t leave. Instead, you quickly bound over to your couch, claw your way to the window and peel the edge of the white lace curtain away from the glass that you’re choosing to peek through. You stare at the boy who looks so gorgeous in the soft early moonlight that you swoon three times over.

The door closes, and you see Dustin (surprisingly) walking Steve to his car.

You watch the situation closely. It is as unintentionally comedic to you as it is nerve-wracking.

“Did you have fun?” Dustin asks Steve. Dustin is admittedly shocked when Steve looks him directly in the eye. Before the date, when Steve picked Y/N up, the poor boy wasn’t even able to meet Dustin’s gaze.

The date however went better than expected, and now that Steve knows he wants you (and he’s positive you want him back), he’s got all the confidence in the world prompting him to be willing to do anything. Steve smiles at his younger friend gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, I really did, Henderson.” Steve nods.

Dustin leans against the hood of the familiar BMW beside his best friend. He looks up at the older boy, the boy he had been looking up to for a good year now and he can see that Steve’s smiling more than he’s smiled in awhile.

A fragile breeze rolls by the two of them. The sun has officially gone down, making the ambient light around the two friends a pale gray and blue. Dustin can hear the recognizable cicadas humming all around. The empty night makes their sound even louder and more prominent, slightly knocking off the awkward edge between him and Steve.

Steve stirs making Dustin turn to him. He runs a hand quickly through his hair (a habit Dustin has noticed occurs a lot). Somehow, Steve’s dark hair bounces back in its original place without any effort at all.

“My sisters one hell of a girl, Harrington.” Dustin speaks up. Steve slightly moves his head to the side; enough so that he can see the knowing stare that his younger friend has painted on his face.

Steve nods shyly. “She definitely is.” Just mentioning you forces a smile on Steve’s features. He truly cannot control himself when around you.

And Dustin picks up on this. Steve’s really trying. You’re really trying. And maybe (Dustin figures) he can be a bit more lenient with the two of you.

The nights really doing something to him.

There are a few quiet moments that stretch by between the two boys. It isn’t awkward anymore, but it is filled with Dustin’s excessive pondering thoughts. His heads so full of them he feels like screaming in defeat into the quiet, dark night.

“Do you like her?”

Steve looks down at him. He’s not sure if Dustin stopped eyeing him up and down at one point; but this time around his friends face is softer. There’s something there, something hopeful. Something Steve hopes is forgiveness and acceptance.

“I really do.” Steve admits shyly.

He already knew that. Of course he knew Steve liked you. He made it blatantly obvious since day one.

Dustin sits comfortably in his own silence for a moment. Steve sits uncomfortably on the edge of anticipation and worry. There’s nothing silent about Steve’s thoughts at all.

“Well then...” Dustin begins. “The next time you see each other you better kiss her, alright?”

Dustin watches Steve cough and his eyes widen comically. He knows Steve is in complete shock, but Dustin soon grins, evoking a smile from his older friend.

“Just not in front of me though, alright? Or else I’ll kick your ass, Harrington.”

For once Steve’s mind is silent...

Until he mutters one word that carries itself with the wind. “Okay.”

Dustin nods once and reaches his hand out.

Steve smiles widely. He knows exactly what that means; it’s a sign of peace and a sign of approval.

Steve wraps his hand around Dustin’s and he quickly lets go signaling for the young boy to follow through with their infamous handshake. The two boys finish with partially silent lightsaber sounds that quickly escalate into booming, hearty laughter. Laughter so loud, even the night before them wasn’t ready for it.

“I still want you to pick me up tomorrow so we can go to the arcade.” Dustin jabs a finger at Steve teasingly. He pokes Steve in the centre of his chest causing the fluffy haired boy to swat away his finger. “Ten o’clock. Sharp. Better be on time, loverboy.”

“Yeah, yeah; I will... Thank you.” Steve finishes sincerely.

Dustin nods stoically, then turns to the window and sees your silhouette. You’re smiling at the two of them through the glass; the orange light behind forging a halo around your head. He suddenly grins and laughs gently.

Out of nowhere, Dustin’s arms wrap around Steve’s middle, and the older teen can’t help but hug him back with as much force.

He’s so goddamn happy.

As you watched the headlights of the familiar BMW drift off into the road, slowly bleeding and disappearing into the blue and gray hues of the forest and streets around your house, Dustin enters the house with a smile.

You turn to him expectantly. Your eyebrows are quirked up and your soft pink lip is tucked slightly beneath your teeth.

Dustin shakes his head with a soft sigh. “You two are gonna’ be the death of me, you know that right?”

Watching your face turn up into the biggest grin makes him smile equally as wide. He walks over to you quickly as you stand up and you tuck his head beneath yours.

You embrace your little brother tightly and earnestly. You place a delicate kiss to the top of the mess of curls on his head and he hugs you with even more strength.

Even with all of the nights uncertainties, somehow the world and all its living things, for once, truly did come together in perfect harmony.

[reddielibrary]

Eddie, You Had One Job

Written by @greenornaments

Gift for @eduardoandale

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Word count: 4,937

Rating: Teen

AO3 Link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/21248489

Summary: Eddie can’t think of anything he’d rather do less than spend his Friday night at the drama department’s annual haunted attraction. Little does he know, he’s about to have a life changing encounter with one Richie Tozier....

Eddie trudged along, shivering in the chilly October air despite the warmth of his fleece hoodie. He couldn’t believe he had allowed Bill and Stan to talk him into spending his Friday night going to the haunted house put on by their university’s drama department. The three of them hardly ever got to hang out lately, what with midterms and part-time jobs demanding much of their free time, and Eddie’s suggestion for this rare night of togetherness had been to rent a stack of movies (or even better, videogames) and hole themselves up in his and Stan’s dorm room with a healthy supply of popcorn, chips, and soda. 

However, Bill, the resident drama geek, who had worked the haunted house for the past two weekends, had suggested that they all check it out from an audience’s perspective. Stan had, of course, readily agreed, so unfortunately, Eddie had been outvoted. Which was a shame because he’d really been looking forward to a relaxing night with just them, not them plus a hundred other people in frosty temperatures while his fingers turned into mini popsicles. 

“Step it up, Ed, or we’ll never get there,” Bill called out to him, turning his head back to look at Eddie, who was several strides behind his friends. 

“I’m gonna say it again, this is dumb,” Eddie grumbled. “It’s fucking freezing out. We’re all going to catch hypothermia and die, if we don’t catch the flu first from being surrounded by so many people during peak season. Besides, it’s not like you don’t know what this thing is like, you’ve worked it.”

“Yeah, but you guys haven’t seen it yet,” Bill pointed out. “And we’ve all worked really hard on it, so I wanna see how you like it.”

“Come on, Eddie. It’ll be fun,” coaxed Stan. “Besides, do you really want to spend every weekend of your entire college experience in your room?” he added. 

“Yes, because at least my room is clean. At least MY half of it is,” replied Eddie, which caused Stan to roll his eyes in exasperation. 

“Don’t worry, Eddie, we’ll be there to protect you if it gets too scary,” teased Bill. 

“I am NOT scared,” Eddie declared firmly. He wasn’t, not really. Sure, sometimes horror movies and stuff frustrated him. He was usually the one to cover his eyes whenever they watched them together, after all. Granted, some (well, most) of the time it was because he literally could not watch someone make a stupid decision that led them right into the monster’s trap without getting irrationally angry and going off on a rapidfire tangent that quickly made the other boys regret watching with him. But still. 

Mostly, he wasn’t all that enthused with going to the haunted house because he knew Stan and Bill were going to be all touchy and clingy the entire time and he was probably going to spend the entire evening as a glorified third wheel. 

He saw Bill and Stan exchange a look. “Whatever you say, Ed,” said Stan. “Tell you what, next time we all have a free Friday night, you pick what we do. Deal?”

Eddie sighed. “Deal,” he agreed, resigning himself to an evening of freezing his ass off while being surrounded by a bunch of over-enthusiastic theatre kids who were determined to make him jump out of his skin. 

The three of them made it at last to the edge of the vast field which, in warmer months, usually played host to traveling carnivals, but which was currently sporting a carefully crafted maze made of painted plywood, in addition to a series of temporary mobile buildings, all of which were decorated to look as spooky as possible. Which, if Eddie was being honest, wasn’t very. Crude wooden signs that said things like TURN BACK, BEWARE, and ABANDON HOPE were strategically placed along a pathway that led to a large, black tent adorned with orange and purple string lights. To be perfectly frank, it all looked a lot tamer than Eddie had been expecting, not that he would ever risk hurting Bill’s feelings by saying so. 

A throng of people were already making their way inside the tent. Bill led the way in, Stan following closely behind him, and Eddie bringing up the rear. He looked around, unable to see too much since the inside of the tent was dark except for the spaced out battery-operated lanterns providing the only source of light. They served as illumination for a small, wooden platform that stood in the center of the tent like a stage. A guy, clearly one of the drama students, sat on a stool on top of the platform, holding a microphone in his lap and watching as the tent began to fill with people. He briefly caught Eddie’s eye as their group of three settled in a spot toward the front of the crowd, directly facing the makeshift stage.

“So, what are we waiting for, exactly?” Eddie murmured to Bill as the tent continued to fill up with excited patrons. He rubbed his hands together in an effort to warm them up now that they were semi-inside and out of the cold air. 

“This is the holding area. They’re just gonna explain how the tour works and…” Bill began to explain, but Eddie was only half listening because, in spite of himself, he kept finding his eyes wandering back over to the guy on the platform. Even though he’d silently admitted to himself in high school that he might not be straight, he still had a great deal of difficulty allowing himself to check guys out for more than a few seconds at a time, as though he were always afraid that someone would notice and judge him for it if he let his gaze linger too long. He supposed that came from a lifetime of someone always telling him he was wrong in some way, whether that be kids at school or, usually, his own mother. 

In the dark tent, though, he felt a bit safer letting himself take a good look. Not that there was anything particularly special about this guy. He was just a typical college student. He looked pretty nerdy, really, what with his tacky long-sleeved Hawaiian shirt, unkempt dark hair and huge glasses that took up a sizable portion of his face. It was a very cute face, though, which was probably why Eddie felt like he had to keep stealing glances at it while catching bits and pieces of whatever Bill was saying. 

“.....and you definitely shouldn’t touch the actors,” Bill continued. Eddie blinked, momentarily taken out of his enrapturement with Mr. Hawaiian Shirt. 

“What?”

“You can’t touch the actors, it’s a major rule,” said Bill. “You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve almost been beaten shitless by some weenie who got too scared.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” said Eddie with an eyeroll, even as he silently thought that, maybe, he wouldn’t mind touching at least ONE of the actors. He glanced back over to the guy on the podium, who, to Eddie’s absolute horror, was looking right back at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Motherfuckin shit fuck,” Eddie whispered in a panic as he averted his eyes, his face so burning hot he just knew he was probably as red as a tomato. He hoped it was dark enough that the other guy didn’t notice, but knowing his luck, he probably wasn’t that fortunate. 

“You ok, Ed?” asked Stan, giving him a curious look. 

“Fine,” Eddie mumbled. He only wanted a hole to open up beneath him so he could fall into it and disappear, but yeah, other than that, he was great. He saw Stan and Bill exchange another look out of the corner of his eye, but thankfully, they didn’t press the issue. 

Just then, someone closed the open flap of the tent, plunging it into almost complete darkness. A spooky sound effects tape began to play on a low volume from somewhere across the tent. The lanterns shone onto the platform, where Mr. Hawaiian Shirt was standing up and getting ready to address the audience. 

“Alright, how is everyone doing this fine evening, ladies and germs?” he said into the microphone, his voice reverberating throughout the tent. A mumbled scattering of voices responded, and the guy shook his head in disappointment. 

“Oh, come on, you bitches can do better than that. I said, how is everyone doing?” He thrust the mic out into the audience, who responded with a loud chorus of “GOOOOOD.”

“Beautiful,” said the guy happily, catching Eddie’s eye again as he said the word. “Anyway, my name is Richie and welcome to our humble little haunted attraction!” Ah, so Mr. Hawaiian Shirt had a name. Richie. Eddie filed it away in the back of his mind as he tried to stop his face from flushing every time Richie looked in his direction. 

“Let me be clear, our goal here is to make sure you all have a friggin great time, and we do that by trying to scare the absolute shit out of you,” said Richie into the mic, one hand casually resting into the pocket of his jeans as he leaned against the stool. “I mean, not literally. Please do not actually shit while inside the attraction. A lot of these props and costumes are rented.”

The audience laughed. Eddie bit his lip, pissed off at himself for finding such a gross and lame joke funny. He was determined not to laugh, since Mr. Hawaiian...sorry, RICHIE...seemed to be making a lot of eye contact with him specifically, and Eddie felt it was important that he know that his jokes were stupid. 

“So, like I was saying, this ain’t your mama’s haunted house,” Richie continued, playfully tossing his mic from one hand to the other. “Or maybe it is, I wouldn’t know, cause your mama never called me the next day.” His eyes locked on Eddie’s again as amused giggles rang out from the audience, and if Eddie didn’t know better, he could have sworn that the guy actually winked at him. It was probably a trick of the light reflecting off of his glasses, but even so. He couldn’t believe he still thought this guy was cute now that he’d actually opened his mouth. 

“So anyway, guys, I’m not gonna keep you here, I’m just here to debrief. We just have a few basic ground rules,” said Richie, getting down to business at last. “First, make sure to always follow the lighted paths from one show building to the next, cause nobody has time to go looking for your lost ass. Secondly, no flash photography. We’re all broke college students and we can’t afford a trip to the ER if you blind us and we trip and break a leg. And third, for the same reasons, PLEASE don’t touch us. I know you’ll be terrified ‘cause not every actor here is gonna be as handsome as I am.” He made eye contact with Eddie again as he spoke, and Eddie felt his stomach betray him with an excited flip. Why the fuck did he find this guy so damn intriguing? 

“Some of them will be the scariest shit you’ve ever seen,” Richie continued. “But, keep your paws to yourself and we’ll all have a good time. Are we ready?” 

“YEESSS,” the audience roared out, and the tent opened back up as everyone started to pour out. Eddie cast one last glance back at Richie, who was retreating out the other side. Specifically, he focused on what Richie’s ass looked like in his jeans. You know, just in case he needed to reference it for later. 

“Come on, Ed!” he heard Bill shout. Eddie shook himself and hurried to stick close to Bill and Stan, who were leading the way, hand in hand, down the path toward the first attraction. They all piled into one of the temporary buildings, which was decorated on the inside to look like a dark bedroom, the only source of light coming from several blue-bulbed lamps. A girl in a nightgown lay on the bed with a grotesquely made up face, disregarding everyone in the room except for the guy in a priest costume standing beside her. 

“What an excellent day for an exorcism,” the girl said in a creepy voice that set Eddie’s teeth on edge despite the fact that he was well aware it was just a student in a costume. 

The next building they visited was similarly creepy. This one featured a sad looking ghost boy on a tire swing, slowly swinging back and forth with a forlorn “Won’t you play with me?” Eddie mentally gave it an A for effort. 

The rest of the attractions played out in much the same manner, and it wasn’t until Eddie reached the fifth or sixth unvarying show building that he realized that he’d somehow managed to lose track of Stan and Bill in the crowd of people moving from one section to the next. “Great,” he muttered. “Stan! Bill?” Where the fuck were they? He sighed heavily and curiously peeked inside of the building he was currently in front of. It was full of clowns. 

“Nope,” he murmured to himself, quickly backing out and heading back down the lighted pathway. Creepy clowns were where he drew the line. He looked around for his friends, but couldn’t see any sign of them. Unfortunately, he also couldn’t stand around in everybody’s way, so he had no choice but to keep moving. 

He ran ahead a bit onto a quieter part of the path, toward the maze, where the crowd had yet to reach and started looking around dully, his eyes falling onto a building that was slightly bigger than the others. He walked up to it, trying to peek inside, but he couldn’t see much. He debated with himself briefly over whether to just go inside by himself, finally deciding that whatever was inside couldn’t possibly be that scary. Besides, it would serve his friends right if they couldn’t find him for a little bit. 

He steeled himself and entered the building, which turned out to be empty of patrons and separated into several different rooms. The first room featured more clowns, which sent a shiver down Eddie’s spine even though they were clearly just mannequins in masks. He supposed that the drama department had run out of students willing to give up a third weekend standing around in gross makeup. A room off to the side was dark and empty except for a fog machine and a sound effects tape playing lowly over some hidden speakers. 

“Wow, fake fog, how utterly terrifying,” he mumbled sarcastically. He veered off into the third room, the biggest in the building. This one featured what Eddie assumed to be more mannequins dressed to look, loosely, like classic horror movie monsters. He walked around slowly, taking in the details of Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, and the Wolf Man, all decorated as accurately as possible, but decidedly not even remotely scary. 

“Lame,” he said to himself with a snort, turning around to check out the Mummy figure on the other side of the room. He was absentmindedly running a finger over the white crepe paper of the figure’s costume when he suddenly heard a loud roar behind him. His stomach dropped to his knees and his heart leaped into his throat as he turned around to see that the Wolf Man, most definitely NOT a mannequin, had moved from his spot and was charging toward him with outstretched arms. 

“AAAAAH!” Eddie let out a blood curdling scream and tripped slightly over his own feet in sheer panic. He felt his hand ball into a fist without him even thinking about it, and before he could stop himself he had used it to deliver a swift punch directly to the Wolf Man’s face, hard enough to hurt his hand and knock the other person backwards onto the ground. 

“Jesus fuck,” the Wolf Man whined as they brought one hand up to their face, the voice muffled by the mask. Eddie just stood there in shock, trying to get his breathing and his heartbeat to return to normal as he absorbed what he’d just done. He fumbled into the fanny pack around the waist of his jeans for his inhaler and took a puff, his eyes keenly focused on the poor, writhing werewolf he’d just sucker-punched into the floor. 

“You got a license for that fuckin right hook?” asked the werewolf, the voice sounding slightly familiar to Eddie. It was hard to place it though, since it was so muted by the rubber of the mask. 

“Oh my fuck...fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t….are you ok???” Eddie put his inhaler away and ran over to the person, who was desperately trying to remove the mask. He knelt down to their level and reached his hands out. “Here, let me help.”

“It’s fine, I got it,” they replied, their fingers finally managing to slip beneath the rim of the mask and pull it off. And if Eddie had been wound up and embarrassed before, that was absolutely fucking nothing compared to how he felt when he realized that it was Richie underneath it. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, his face burning hot and his stomach doing somersaults for an entirely new set of reasons. “Fuck fuck fuck, God, I am SO sorry, man, I...Jesus, I really fucked you up, I’m sorry!” He reached again for his inhaler and took another long puff as he looked over the sight of the rapidly spreading bruise on Richie’s right eye.

“It’s fine, I never really liked seeing out of both eyes anyway,” Richie quipped, wincing as his fingers brushed over his injury. “At least I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Besides,” he added, glancing at the inhaler still in Eddie’s hand, “You’re the one who looks like they’re about to die.” 

“I thought you were a mannequin,” Eddie offered as a weak excuse, flinching as he watched the other boy reach into a nearby wooden box by Dracula’s feet and retrieve his glasses, which he delicately placed on his face. Even as careful as he was, his expression contorted in pain. 

“Yeah, that would be the entire fuckin point,” Richie said. “What did we JUST say back there about touching the actors? I know you heard me.”

“It was a reflex, dude, I’m sorry,” Eddie apologized. “In my defense, you almost gave me a fucking heart attack. I didn’t know you were going to charge at me like that,” he added defensively as he tried to resist the urge to throw himself out a window at the thought that he had literally just punched the same guy he’d been eye-fucking half an hour ago. 

“It’s not like I was gonna touch you,” said Richie. He looked Eddie over with his good eye and grinned cheekily. “Not that I wouldn’t want to, though.”

Eddie’s cheeks flushed again, his heart skipping several beats as his eyes locked with Richie’s dark ones. Had he really just heard… ok, no, quit being dumb, Eddie, he didn’t mean it THAT way. 

“That looks really bad,” he said, casually ignoring the other boy’s words and changing the subject as he gingerly reached his hand up to examine the injury. “Fuck, there’s actual blood. Is there a first aid kit anywhere around here? I could help you fix that up.”

“Yeah, there’s one in the dressing room, I think,” replied Richie, getting up off the floor and unsteadily standing on his feet. “Well, the camper we’re using as a dressing room. It’s just...ow...it’s just out here a little ways. Follow me.” 

Eddie complied, his mortifying embarrassment growing stronger with every step as he followed Richie out of the show building and across the grounds to a small RV parked on the edge of the property. Richie led him inside and plopped himself down on the ratty old sofa that stood against one wall, still holding his eye in pain. “The first aid kit is in the bathroom,” he said, pointing toward a small door across the camper. Eddie went in and took the opportunity to wash his hands in the sink before he quickly found the kit and brought it over, setting it down on the couch. He spotted a small refrigerator next to the sofa and opened it up, grabbing the first cold object he saw, a small can of Coke, which he handed to the other boy. 

“Take off your glasses and put this on your eye,” he said as he took a seat beside him and placed the first aid kit in his own lap. “It will help the swelling go down.”

Richie did as instructed, removing his glasses and holding the can dramatically onto his swollen face as he gave Eddie a saucy smile. “Yes, Dr….uh...I don’t think I caught your name, cutie.”

Eddie blushed. “Eddie,” he said, hoping his voice sounded at least somewhat normal, which was more difficult than it should have been when Richie was staring right at him with those fuckin gorgeous chocolate eyes framed by dark lashes. “Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“Ok, whatever you say, Dr. K,” said Richie. 

“Have I mentioned that I’m sorry?” Eddie asked as he opened up the first aid kit and busied himself taking out an alcohol pad, a bandage, and a small tube of antibiotic ointment. 

“Once or twice.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I had no idea I could even do that,” Eddie continued, gesturing for Richie to remove the Coke can so he could gently dab at the small cut near the bridge of the other boy’s nose with the alcohol wipe. 

“Do what, almost kill a man with your bare hand?” Richie quipped, wincing slightly when Eddie applied a small dot of ointment to the wound. 

“I’d hardly say I almost killed you,” Eddie protested.

“Well, you definitely maimed me, anyway,” said Richie. “I’m gonna have to come up with a better story for when people ask how I almost lost an eye. I can’t tell them I got beaten up by a boy with an inhaler, they’ll think I’m fuckin lame.” He smiled and Eddie’s heartbeat increased, his fingertips lingering on the other boy’s skin for slightly longer than was really necessary. 

“I think your dumb jokes would lead them to think that well before any story about your eye,” Eddie replied dryly as he unwrapped the bandage carefully. 

Richie gave an exaggerated gasp. “Jesus fuck, was bodily injury not enough for you? Now you gotta start hurting my emotions and shit? That’s cold, Eds. Do you mind if I call you Eds?”

“Yes,” muttered Eddie, even though he kind of liked the idea of this boy giving him a nickname. “Don’t call me Eds. Now hold still,” he said as he applied the bandage to Richie’s face. 

“Ok, Eds,” said Richie. Eddie rolled his eyes and finished putting the band-aid on him, sitting back to admire his handiwork. 

“You’re all fixed,” he said, handing the soda can back to him. “Put this back on your face.”

“Yes, Dr. K, sir,” said Richie, teasingly saluting him as Eddie cleaned up the supplies and stood up to throw the bandage wrapper in a nearby garbage can. He sat back down, feeling Richie’s eyes on him and wondering what he should say next that wasn’t just another profuse apology. 

“Eddie!!”

The sound of Stan’s voice outside in the distance snapped Eddie out of his thoughts, and he jerked his head in the direction of the RV’s small window. He’d almost completely forgotten about his friends in all the commotion. He got up from the couch and crossed over to the window, glancing outside to see Stan and Bill close by. The two boys were clearly looking around for him as they stood in the middle of a small crowd of people.

“EEEEEDDDD!” called Bill. 

“It would appear that you’re being summoned, good doctor,” said Richie, suddenly appearing right behind him. Eddie flushed as the other boy’s arm brushed against his own. Richie grinned and reached one hand over Eddie’s shoulder to pry the window open. “We’re in here, Billy!” he called out to them with a wave. The boys looked at Eddie and Richie in the window and then looked at each other oddly before they ran across the field to the RV and burst through the door, their faces red from the cold. 

“There you are,” said Stan, sounding relieved when he saw Eddie. “We didn’t know where you’d gone.”

“We thought you were pissed at us and took off,” added Bill. 

Eddie opened his mouth to reply, but Richie had a faster mouth. “Nah, he took his aggression out on my face instead,” the other boy said jokingly. “Which wasn’t exactly how you promised I’d be introduced to him, Billy,” he added pointedly. 

“Wait, what?” Eddie asked at the same time as Bill finally noticed Richie’s busted face and did a faceplant into his own palm. 

“God, Rich, please tell me you didn’t,” he groaned.

“In my defense, I didn’t think he was going to go all Die Hard on me,” said Richie. 

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Eddie demanded, looking from his friends to Richie and back again. Bill cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. 

“Well, uh….see,” he stammered. 

“Bill wanted you two to meet and hit it off and start dating so we could all hang out sometimes and you wouldn’t feel like such a third wheel,” said Stan calmly as he leaned against the wall of the RV with his arms crossed. “What?” he added when Bill gave him a death glare. “It’s the truth, why waste time beating around the bush?”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Bill, I swear to fucking god…”

“Ok, so maybe this isn’t exactly how I pictured it would go. I was going to introduce you normally after the whole tour was finished,” Bill protested. 

“Guys, just….please leave.”

“Eddie..”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Oh my god just go outside, I’ll meet you in a minute, ok?” His friends sheepishly did as they were told, filing out of the camper and leaving Eddie alone with Richie once again. 

“Great friends you got there, Eds,” teased Richie. 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to murder them later,” grumbled Eddie.

“Aw, don’t kill Billy, he just thought we’d go good together,” said Richie seriously. 

Eddie sighed. “Look, I… um...I’m really sorry. Again. About your face. Really.”

Richie shrugged. “It’s no big, really. I wasn’t that attractive to begin with anyway, so really, you probably just improved things.”

Eddie snorted. “I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t say you weren’t..uh...I mean…” He felt his face start to burn for the fortieth time that evening, and he wished for nothing more than to just disappear from the entire situation before he ended up dying of an embarrassment-induced heart arrhythmia. 

Richie’s mouth curled into a cheeky smile. He dug around in the pocket of his pants, pulling out a small black marker, which he kept in one hand as he suddenly grabbed Eddie’s hand with the other. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Eddie exclaimed as Richie turned his hand over and began writing something on the back of it. 

“Writing my number on your hand,” replied Richie, as though he’d just been asked about the weather. 

“Uh huh. And what the hell am I supposed to do with your number?” asked Eddie, swallowing as his hand tingled at the contact with Richie’s skin. 

“Well, you could play the lottery with it, but mostly I was hoping you’d use it to call me and let me know when you’re free to grab a bite to eat sometime,” said Richie, finishing his work and capping the marker proudly. “You can pay to make up for karate chopping my face.”

Eddie suddenly felt like he was going to die for real, but in a good way, as he looked at the digits and the name ‘Richie Tozier’ emblazoned on his skin like a tattoo. 

“I, uh...I’m...I’m just gonna..” he stammered as he backed away toward the door. Richie just smiled at him as he finally found the handle and let himself out, the other boy cheerfully calling out “Talk to you soon, Eds!” as Eddie scrambled down the stairs of the camper and almost ran right into Stan and Bill, who were trying to pretend they hadn’t been standing with their ears pressed up against the vehicle. 

“Ok,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm as they turned to face him, both of them looking guilty but interested. “I’m not going to kill you….TONIGHT… but in the future I’d like a little advanced warning before you decide to set me up with someone. Got it, BILL?” he said pointedly, glaring daggers at his friend, who blushed remorsefully. 

“Got it,” Bill squeaked. 

“Ok,” said Eddie, holding his head up high. “Then let’s go the fuck home.” The three of them started back across the field and Eddie cast one last glance back, catching a glimpse of Richie watching them leave through the window. The other boy waved, and, in spite of himself, Eddie gave a small wave back before he kept walking. 

He glanced down at his hand and felt himself start to smile, because yeah, he was definitely going to give Richie Tozier a call later.

[thefaceofroyalty]

Hopeless? Loki x reader fic

A/N this is based on this post from @the-modern-typewriter: Shh, it’s alright” the villain said. “You’re doing beautifully and I’m so proud of you. But that’s enough now. It was cruel of them to make you fight me - you could never have won. It’s not your fault.” I also talked to @lokixme about writing this because I know they wanted to do something with it as well. I’m looking forward to reading their version!! Anyway, this is my take on that post:

——————————

In the six months Y/N had been at SHIELD she had quickly risen through the ranks to become a trusted operative to none other than Nick Fury himself. He would send her on all the important mission that came up. When the time came to thaw out Captain America and tell him about the new world he was living in, Fury trusted only a handful of individuals for the task. Y/N was one of the select few.

She quickly became friends with Steve Rogers and helped him assimilate to modern life as much as possible. They would train together and she would let him talk as much or as little as he wanted. She understood that he must’ve been suffering from extreme amounts of PTSD and not to mention the confusion of waking up in a world so foreign to him. He confided in her about Bucky and Peggy. Two important people in his life who he had lost. He told her about facing the Red Skull and about Hydra. How he thought he was making the ultimate sacrifice by going down with that plane only to be awoken years later and everything he had ever known had been lost to time.

When it was time for Steve to help SHIELD track down the person who had gotten a hold of the Tesseract, Loki, both Director Fury and Steve had been adamant about Y/N coming as well. In truth, this was her biggest mission to date. As far as she knew, Loki was from another planet and the Tesseract was an object from space. However, she wanted to impress Director Fury and help Steve as much as possible so she agreed to go on the mission.

When Y/N and Steve first got on the helicarrier it was a little intimidating to say the least. She had heard stories about the infamous black widow but had never actually met her during her short time at SHIELD. Natasha seemed nice enough but Y/N knew it was probably a front, no assassin comes without baggage. Y/N also got a chance to meet Dr. Banner, who she had done research on in the past. His work with gamma radiation was groundbreaking and she was looking forward to picking his brain about it later. However, that would have to wait. Not too long after Y/N and Steve got inside the ship the team had managed to track down Loki to Stuttgart, Germany.

Y/N, Steve, and Natasha boarded a Quinjet and headed over to where Loki was. They weren’t sure what to expect but as they approached they saw something that made even Natasha gasp. Everyone was kneeling before a man in gold and green armor. He had a staff in his hand and wore a golden helmet with horns on it. He stood elegantly over them like that was where he was supposed to be, ruling over them. People began to protest but the man banged his staff on the pavement and it glowed blue and suddenly everyone was silent. He smiled mischievously before walking through the crowd and he began speaking to them. It was then that they all came to realize that this was indeed Loki. She only managed to hear some of what he was saying.

“It’s the unspoken truth of humanity,” Loki began, “that you crave subjugation.” Y/N couldn’t believe what she were hearing. Did he really think that this was the real wish of humanity? As long as she could remember and as long as humans have been around they’ve been trying to break free from oppression and slavery. Y/N started to feel her blood boil as a huge wave of anger rose over her. She wanted to scream that this wasn’t what humanity wanted and how dare he speak to anyone like that? What gave him the right? Before she could do anything she might regret Steve came over and put his hand on her shoulder. In all the time they had spent together he had become attuned to her emotions and could tell exactly what she was thinking.

“I know.” He spoke softly. “But he won’t get away with this, I won’t let him.” Steve said before he jumped out of the jet and in the street just in time from saving an old man from his demise at the hand of Loki’s scepter. Y/N couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The same Steve Rogers who was battling with PTSD and everything else life had suddenly thrown at him was about to take on a literal god. She wasn’t sure if Steve would be able to pull this off by himself, there was no way. When suddenly there was a system override as none other than Tony Stark descended in his Iron Man suit ready for a fight. The next thing Y/N knew, Stark and Steve were bringing Loki onto the jet.

“Y/N, I was wondering when I would see you again.” Stark said with a flirty wink.

“Stark.” Y/N replied as a response while she rolled her eyes. She had met Stark three months prior, when Fury asked her to go check up on him, as a precaution. As she was expecting, he didn’t give her much info but did flirt with her a lot which she was quite vocal in her distaste about.

“You two know each other?” Steve asked the young woman, with a confused expression on his face. She mouthed back that she would tell him about it later, they had more pressing god-like matters on their hands at the moment.

Suddenly flashes of lightning and roars of thunder could be heard outside of the cabin and the jet began to shake. Steve grabben Y/N’s arm in an attempt to stabilize them and she was thankful, as she probably would’ve fallen otherwise. Steve then noticed Loki’s uneasy behavior and questioned if he was afraid of lightning.

“I’m not overly fond of what follows.” Loki replied, looking rather concerned for his safety at the moment. This was the first time Y/N had heard him speak up close and she couldn’t deny that his voice did have an effect on her. She figured it had something to do with him being a god and before she could think anything else on the matter, Stark opened the door on the Quinjet and another Asgardian came through. In one swift motion he grabbed Loki and flew out of the jet. A moment later Stark had left the jet as well, ready to fight the other god and recapture Loki. Y/N was about to grab a parachute when Steve grabbed her by the arm.

“Y/N, you can’t go it’s too dangerous.” He said with a wary look in his eyes.

“Steve, I’ll be fine, this is what I trained to do.” She argued trying to break free from his grasp.

“Please, Y/N, I can’t lose you too.” He pleaded. Suddenly she understood, he had already lost so much he couldn’t lose someone he had just found. Nodding silently, Y/N released the parachute and sat down. Giving her a nod, Steve put on the parachute and jumped out of the plane. All she could hear from the Quinjet after that point was banging and occasionally a flash of light would illuminate the otherwise dark world outside. About twenty minutes later Steve and Tony returned to the jet with Loki and the other Asgardian who introduced himself as Thor.

When the Quinjet landed on the helicarrier Y/N went back to her room to write down all the intel she had gathered. It was something she picked up early on in her days at SHIELD. If she got back from a mission and wrote everything out as she remembered it happening, she was less likely to suffer from PTSD. Although her time at SHIELD was short, she had done plenty of life altering missions already. She heard a knock on her door and looked up to see Steve standing in her doorway. She smiled and gestured for him to come in. She couldn’t help but find it funny, the sight of him standing in her room in his star spangled outfit. He noticed her smiling and questioned her on it.

“What are you smiling about?” Steve said curiously.

“You.” Y/N replied. “You and your All American Outfit.”

“Is it a bad thing?” He questioned.

“No it’s refreshing. After tonight’s events I think I needed to see a little patriotism.” She said with a smile.

“You writing down the mission” He noted as he took a glance at the journal and pen next to where she sat on her bed.

“Yeah, there’s a lot to process here so I figured the sooner I write the better.” She replied softly, leafing through the various pages of her journal. This one was almost done and she doubted she would have enough room to write the entire mission by the time it was done. She felt the bed dip as Steve sat down next to her.

“Hey Y/N.” Steve said tentatively.

“Hmm?” She responded, still lost in thought.

“I wanted to thank you for getting me semi acclimated to life in the 21st century so I got you this.” He said as he reached into his bag and pulled out a new moleskin notebook. He handed it to her and she gasped as she opened it and heard the spine crack under her fingers.

“Steve! You didn’t have to do that!” She exclaimed with wide eyes.

“I know,” he responded sheepishly, “But I wanted to anyway.”

She engulfed him in a hug as she laughed into his neck. She couldn’t believe he would do something like that for her, they’ve only known each other for a few months. She heard someone clear their throat and she quickly got out of the Captain’s embrace. It was Dr. Banner, he said both of them had orders from Fury to meet on the bridge. Nodding, they both exited the room and followed Banner.

Fury informed the team that Loki was in custody and he wanted to send in people to possibly try and interrogate him. First would be Natasha, followed by Y/N. Y/n could feel her heart racing at the thought of the impending interrogation. She had interrogated people for information before but this man was a god. One whose voice also had an eerie effect on her that she couldn’t explain. Steve, sensing her hesitation and also being concerned for her safety, interjected.

“Sir, do you really think that’s the best idea? We have no clue what Loki is capable of. Why don’t you send Thor?” Steve protested.

“Captain, with all due respect. I’ve known Y/N for a lot longer than you have. You may not know what Loki is capable of but you also don’t know what Y/N is capable of. I believe sending her in is the right move. Unless of course she disagrees?” Fury challenged.

“No sir, I can do it.” Y/N responded, doing her best to straighten up and square her shoulders. She was no church mouse. The things she had seen and done to get into SHIELD and to make herself known in the director’s eye were enough to make any normal person run for the hills. She could handle this. She was trained for this.

After that everyone sat tense around the table as they watched Natasha interrogate Loki. The plan was simple, Natasha would rile him up and then Y/N would go in and be charming. Try and pry information from Loki by any means necessary. She was young and that would play to her advantage. Loki would more than likely underestimate her and that’s how she would win. After Natasha came back Y/N knew it was her turn to go. She stood up and Steve made a gesture to follow her but she held his shoulder firmly.

“Don’t” She said as she looked at him harshly. She knew if she were to do this she had to be in the right mind space and she couldn’t have anyone distracting her. She walked back to where Loki was being held and took a deep breath to calm her mind before she entered. She went over to the control board and started fiddling with switches. She heard Loki stand up and walk to the edge of the glass. Resisting the urge to look at him she continued to fiddle with the board, wanting him to make the first move.

“I was wondering when I would have the pleasure to formally meet you.” Loki said in a honeyed voice. His accent was enough to send shivers down Y/N’s spine but she tried her best not to show it.

“Believe me Loki, the pleasure’s all mine.” She replied as she turned to face him. She took a couple steps towards the glass to get a better look at him. He was slim yet muscular. Over six feet tall and wore green and gold armor. His onyx black hair was slicked back and he looked calm as he stood there with his hands behind his back.

“Tell me darling,” Loki began in that velvet voice of his, “why have you come to me?”

“Call it curiosity.” Y/N responded with a small smile playing on her lips.

“So it’s information you’re after. I’ll make a deal with you, I’ll answer your questions as long as you answer mine.” Loki mused as he moved toward her in his glass cell.

Y/N grabbed a chair and placed it in front of his cell, knowing this would take a while. “Fine, I’ll go first.” Y/N agreed as she sat down.

Loki made a gesture that gave Y/N the green light to ask away. “Why does a literal god like yourself want to come rule over Earth? Surly you have your own kingdom.” Y/N asked as she leaned forward and placed her elbows on her thighs.

“It is my divine right to rule and I was chosen specifically to rule over the human race.” Loki responded simply.

“Chosen by who?” she questioned.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” Loki started as he shook his head, “my turn to ask a question.”

“Ask away, I have nothing to hide.” Y/N responded.

“Oh I’m sure you don’t.” Loki began, “but your so called teammates do. Are you aware that Captain Rogers harbors feelings for you?” Loki inquired as he tilted his head to the side slightly with a bemused expression on his lips. He was trying to shock Y/N but it wouldn’t work. She was trained for deflection tactics like this. She kept her cool while she responded.

“How are you so sure?” Was all she asked.

“I’ve been around long enough to know the face of desire when I see it. I saw the way the Captain looked at you when you and the Man of Iron had your exchange. I saw the way he reached for you when my brother was rocking the ship. I wonder, has he come for your bed yet?” Loki asked cooly while waiting for Y/N’s reaction.

Y/N could feel her blood boiling, it was the same feeling she got when she first heard Loki speak in Germany. He was using everything he had to push her buttons but she wouldn’t give up without a fight.

“The deal was one question each Loki” Y/N stated. “Now it’s my turn.”

“Clever girl.” Loki replied with a chuckle. “Ask away, but just know, I always get answers.”

“You said someone sent you here, who?” Y/N continued the interrogation paying no mind to Loki’s taunts.

“I fear I cannot say.” Loki began, “Just know that he is more powerful than anyone you could imagine. He plans to rain fire on your precious Earth where the casualties will be the strongest.” Loki continued to gloat.

Y/N smiled as she had gotten the information she came for. Fury knew the battle wasn’t over and he expected it to take place somewhere big. With Loki’s affirmation that he and whoever he may be working with plan to target large cities that was all the information you needed from him.

“Thanks Loki, you’ve been a real help.” Y/N said as she began to walk away from him.

“He’ll never be able to give you what you need.” Loki said in a calm voice before before Y/N had gotten too far out of earshot.

Y/N turned slowly to look back at him, “Who?” she questioned.

“Your precious Captain Rogers. He’ll never be able to give you what you so desperately crave.” Loki pressed on.

“And what is that?” Y/N retorted.

“Subjugation. A chance to be free from your life. You who are in control of everything are the one who needs a release the most. Aren’t you tired of putting up a front? Of pretending you’re happy with your so called idea of freedom. Why are you the one cleaning up their messes? Wouldn’t you much rather relinquish control and let other people sort it out for once?” He questioned as he sauntered to the edge of his glass container where Y/N was standing.

“No.” She responded as strongly as she could, but she could hear the waver in her voice. The small part in her that might have agreed with him. Why was it her job to clean up other people’s messes? She wasn’t the one who pulled the Tesseract out from underwater and now the earth was paying the price. No, it was wrong to think like that. Just as soon as she had those thoughts she pushed them down as she left the interrogation room and went back to her room. She opened up her journal to write but saw the new one Steve had given her sitting on her drawer. Had what Loki said really been true? Did Steve have feelings for her? Before she could process it the ship began to shake and alarms began to sound. Through her earpiece she heard Director Fury announce that the Hulk was on the loose and they were under attack from an outside force.

Shit. She raced as fast as she could back to the interrogation room, sure Loki had something to do with this. But when she walked through the door her worst fear was realized. Not only had Loki been behind it, he had gotten out of his cage and now Thor was in the cage. She watched in horror as Loki stabbed Agent Coulson in the back. She let out an ear piercing scream as Loki sent Thor hurtling toward Earth. That’s when Loki turned his attention on her. He fired his scepter at her but she expertly ducked under it. She swiped her legs under Loki until he was on the ground with her. She straddled him and started throwing punches left and right. In retaliation, Loki picked her up and threw her across the room like she weighed nothing. Y/N stumbled to a stand and spit blood out of her mouth before reaching for her pistol. She fired several rounds at the Asgardian but none of the bullets seemed to phase him. He only let out an amused chuckle as he stalked closer to her. When the time was right she attempted to knee him in the crotch but he was too fast. In one swift motion he had taken her by the throat and held her up against the nearest wall. She was gasping for air under his hand and clawing at him to let her go. He let out a low chuckle as he raised the scepter to her forehead and uttered one word to her in a voice barely above a whisper, “sleep”.

Y/N awoke to her arms in shackles tethered to the wall behind her. She didn’t recognize her surroundings but could smell the dank air around her. She was trapped somewhere and that’s when her memories started coming back to her. She had fought Loki and he had won, easily overpowering her. She needed to get back to the team, what had come of them? Of the ship? She started thrashing and pulling on the restrains yelling to be released. One of Loki’s henchmen came in to see her and possibly taunt her but they got too close. She headbutted them and attempted to strangle them before two other men came in and rescued their teammate. The three of them then took turns kicking her until she coughed up more blood.

When she regained consciousness later she saw a figure looming in the corner only to realize it was Loki. She began thrashing again and spewing profanities at Loki. But all he did was calmly walk over to her a shush her.

“Shh it’s alright,” Loki said as he approached her and used his scepter to lift her chin to meet his eyes, “You’re doing beautifully and I’m so proud of you.” He said as he undid her restraints and effortlessly lifted her into his arms. “But that’s enough for now. It was cruel of them to make you fight me. You never could have won. It’s not your fault.” Loki finished as he led her into a room that appeared to be some sort of makeshift bedroom. He laid her down on the four poster bed among the black satin sheets and she was too weary and worn out to protest. He kissed her on the forehead as she lulled into sleep and he sat by her side and swept the hair away from her battered face, vowing to bring down SHIELD and everyone in it for sending in a child such as herself to fight a god, knowing she could never win.

[drumpfwatch]

Da Wall

So, I promised I’d talk about the wall, so let’s talk about the Wall. This essay will be divided into three parts. Why it’s racist and hateful, why it’s a bad idea regardless of all of that, and what better ways we could possibly spend the money Trump wants for the wall.

PART 1: WHY THE WALL IS RACIST AND HATEFUL

I feel like this is one of those things that, from the onset, should be obvious. If we’re so concerned about immigrants coming into the country, why is no one arguing for a border wall to be built on our northern border to keep these scummy Canadians out, what with their always saying “soh-rry” and gun control. No, we’re targeting the people from Iran and other Middle Eastern countries, whose homes have been destroyed and burned in part by our own hands. No one’s stopping red haired people on the street to ask them if they have their papers lest they be sent back to Ireland because they’re all drunkards and stinky (at least not anymore). No, we’re interested in keeping the Mexicans out, whose country has been ravaged by gangs and horrors.

So when people talk about keeping “immigrants” out of America, they’re not actually talking about immigrants. They’re talking about brown people. At this point, that should be common knowledge, but it somehow isn’t. That should be enough right there to prove point the first, but let’s throw one or two more things into the pot to prove the pattern.

If racial hatred isn’t the reason for this wall, then what might be? Safety? I mean sure, a giant, massive, border spanning wall would make an invasion difficult, but Mexico - or any of the South American countries - aren’t exactly interested in sending an army to attack us and take over.

No, they really aren’t. Despite what the president is saying, MS13 is not taking over American towns. They have members who live in those towns and operate within those towns, but they certainly can’t be shown to be “ruling” a town in any capacity. Prove me wrong. Name a city taken over by MS13. Further, MS13 is actually a transnational group that is both American and Mexican, but that’s a whole other story.

The point here is that there’s no real threat. We’ll talk more about this later, in the second section of this essay, but the people coming to America from the South are often people fleeing MS13 and trying to get away, and they do not make up the majority of illegal immigrants. They’re also not in any regard, illegal. They come seeking asylum, and there is nothing illegal about seeking asylum. These people have to go threw and incredibly long and obnoxious process designed to root out people who might be, say, MS13 members. That process itself is full of broken and stupid problems that I could write an entire essay on, but that’s besides the point. The point is that these people who are sneaking across the border aren’t sneaking in and getting caught by the guards, they are deliberately finding border patrol agents and surrendering themselves to them in the hopes of living a better life in America. These people are fleeing tragedy, they are not, as our President has called them, rapist and thieves. Why in the everloving hell would you want to come to America if you were a criminal, our police force is better (and also fucking hates you for your skin color half the time) and it’s just harder to get away with stuff here.

So what other reason could there be? Glory? Don’t we revere the Chinese for their mighty wall? Yes, but most of it has since crumbled, the project took 2000 years, and the process of working on it was so intense that it’s said people were buried in the foundations because there was no where else to put them. As you might imagine for a wall that took 2000 years to build, it was also built with different materials and was impossible to maintain, which is They why most of it no longer exists. The Great Wall of China was built to keep out barbarians - literal, honest to god sword swinging, shield bearing, head-severing, plague-body-catapult-launching barbarians. Our wall is being built to keep out the suffering and weary.

Besides, if “Glory” is really your interest, there are other, cooler things we could build beside a wall. A symbol of division and separation. What about building a new statue of liberty? Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free. But no, you want a wall.

I’ve heard other reasons, but I think I’ve established that the wall isn’t for glory, or for security, or for anything else. The wall is to keep brown people out.  A people who are looking for help. And amusingly, it’s not even going to work.

And you wanna know the funny thing? Not even the Great Wall worked to keep those barbarians out. Which brings us rather nicely to Part 2.

PART 2: WHY THE WALL IS A BAD IDEA REGARDLESS

So, there’s no reason to build the wall that isn’t “we don’t want them Mexicans comin’ into our country”, and I think I demonstrated that pretty clearly. But what if you still don’t believe me? Or what if you’re the sort of sick, disgusting sack of shit who’s freely willing to admit that you want to keep Mexicans out because they’re polluting your race or whatever nonsense. Well sadly, the wall isn’t going to work.

The big nail in that coffin here is that the majority of “Illegal Immigrants” are here not because they snuck past the border and got in, they came here legally and just overstayed their visas.  They enjoyed the life they led here so much they wanted to stay in spite of the rules (and in spite of the racism), that should be something we’re proud of. Sure they’re breaking the laws, but we should be altering those laws. Maybe we give Visas for longer (for instance, no small number of these cases are students who overstay because they were unable to complete their course work in the time expected, usually because of a change in major) or maybe we have an easier pathway for people who have temporary visas to become permanent migrants.

Point is, sneaking through hidden in trucks isn’t actually how this is happening. These people are coming to America, legally seeking asylum or otherwise surrendering themselves in the hopes of finding a better life. They want to live here because they genuinely think it’s better. Then we started ripping their children away from them and leaving deep emotional scars that probably won’t go away for a long time, if at all.

But what if that doesn’t matter to you? You’re concerned about the drugs coming through the border. Well buddy, most drugs come through legal ports of entry, hidden in teddy bears or orifices no one wants to think about. Hell I’ve heard tell of a family stuffing their recently dead baby with drugs and pretending it was sleeping the whole time. They almost got away with it too. But those people were tourists who came in on planes, or occasionally boats, not on foot through the border crossing where they’re going to be stripped and inspected within an inch of their life.

But all of this ignores the simple fact that even if there were a large amount of people sneaking into the country, getting pass the border patrol agents with drugs and guns and taking over Texan and Californian towns, a wall isn’t going to stop them. How do we know? Because walls have already been built in certain places along the border, and it took the people who do sneak through about a month to dig a tunnel under the wall that took the government years to actually locate.

It doesn’t help that ne’er-do-wells could buy a ladder for a couple hundred dollars that can scale the wall, depending on how tall the stupid thing is (I found a few 35 foot ladders for about $300-$400 dollars) and a pair of wire cutters that can cut through barbed wire for 13, 14 dollars and another 12 dollars for for the rope to get down. Each of these could also be reused as often as necessary, with the rope needing the most replacement. This wouldn’t exactly be a stealthy way of doing the project, but the fact that it���s not that hard and pretty much within anyone’s capacity to do and think of should be proof enough that this is a really stupid idea. The wall will not deter immigrants. It will inconvenience them at most. If stripping them of their children didn’t stop them coming this way won’t either.

So the wall won’t accomplish the task it’s touted for, and even if it did, it’s an easily surmounted problem. But the wall is also actually a huge problem in a lot of ways you wouldn’t expect. A lot of little caveats pop up as you try and build this stupid thing, so let’s go over a few of them.

The first is acquiring the land for this undertaking. As it turns out people actually own that land who aren’t the United States. After all, there’s almost 2,000 miles to cover! We know this because border fencing already exists along some 600 miles of it, sporadically placed, and some of that land was taken from good, wholesome Texan farmers. One such family tells the story of how they used that land for pasture and crop growing. They couldn’t well move because of the complexity of their operation, and the difficulty of moving an entire farming operation as big as they had, so the government seized their land anyway through eminent domain, and effectively left them almost homeless and without their livelihood.

I don’t know how much land along the border isn’t owned by the United States. But given how much of a problem this was for just that quarter section of it, I doubt it won’t be a problem. The government just taking people’s lands because they want to is not a precedent we want to set under any circumstances, especially if those circumstances are racism.

But let’s pretend that isn’t a problem.

Let’s say you’re the sort that doesn’t mind private citizens losing their property for The Greater Good™, consider that that isn’t the only issue. There’s the matter of treaties. Some of that land happens to be on Native American reservations, so taking it for this...well, let’s say they tend not to be too happy about that. Especially since the last time more than one of their grave sites was busted up. But then there’s also the Rio Grande, which stretches for 350 miles between Texas and Mexico, and is protected by various treaties, one of which says that you can’t build anything that would disrupt it’s flow.

But let’s pretend that isn’t a problem either.

The next issue is getting the material to the actual construction site. As it turns out, concrete and steel don’t get up and walk on their own and build themselves, they have to be carted to the site. This will, needles to say, be difficult. Roads will have to be built along the wall so that these materials can be transported, or specialized trucks will have to be used. Either way, that’s more money for the wall then just the wall. Lots of little things like this show up. There are forests in the way, those have to be cut down. What about property the government doesn’t seize? Is it alright to sandwich that between the border wall and the actual border? It’s happened before! So we already have all this extra nonsense in addition to the nonsense of the wall itself.

But let’s pretend that this, too, is somehow magically not a problem.

There’s also environmental concerns. I mentioned before the Rio Grande is a problem because of treaties around it, but that treaty exists for a reason. Blocking the river will cause huge problems because you’re damming it up! Suddenly everything on the other side of the wall doesn’t have that water, and I shouldn’t have to explain why that’s a problem. Habitat is being destroyed,  either cause serious problems or else it will be a weak spot in the wall, and I’m not sure how he plans to build the whole thing without crossing it at some point without building more stupid wall all the way up to Colo-freakin’-rado! There’s also all the natural habitat of animals that’s going to be disrupted by a massive stupid wall. Not saying that there will be ecological collapse, but we already have a species or two there on the Endangered Species list.

But let’s pretend that this is also not a problem.

Each of these little problems ratchetts the price of Da Wall up. Clearing pathways, building roads, carrying the concrete and steel to the site, buying the land from people (or the money required to steal it away), all of these add more money, and that’s if money is your primary concern. The environment, the livelihoods of innocent people, the treaties we break, and the changes all caused by this stupid thing. So if your only concern is money - your own money - then the wall is still a bad idea because it will cost you, the American Taxpayer, a shitton of money.

The Trumby wanted 5.7 billion for it, but actual estimates by people who actually build this sort of stuff think that the actual wall will take closer to 12 billion. You will be paying for that, not Mexico - the shutdown was proof enough of that. So can we all agree the wall is a really stupid idea? Please? Let’s think about some better things we could do with just that 5.7 Billion he demanded in the shutdown.

PART 3: BETTER WAYS TO SPEND THE MONEY

So what are some better ways we could spend 5.7 billion dollars. Well, first, with that money, we could replace the pipes in Flint Michigan - 100 times over. So what else can we add on top of that. You could do what I suggested when I first wrote an anti-wall post under another name, and you could give everyone in America a 10 dollar cake, (with 5 dollars for shipping). You’d still have 651 million leftover tool! Subtract the 55 million from that to fix flint and you still have 596 million dollars left over. Hm, what else can we do. We could then spend about 400 million to recreate about 40 Neanderthals - a reproductively viable population - and have another human species around. Not only would we learn some cool stuff, I’d personally love to have a Neandtheral friend. That leaves us with 196 million to work with. I’m tired of doing math at this point, but I think you could start an 8 acre solar farm with that money in the Mojave or something. And finally we could spend another 55 million dollars on a private island just for me because I DESERVE SOMETHING NICE DAMN IT.

We could also go back to the Moon, that’d not only be a glorious endeavor but one that would actually further science. Heaven forbid our country do that, though. I looked around and the estimates I saw when I researched the number said we could travel back and forth from the moon for 700,000,000 the first time, and then fly there and back again TEN MORE TIMES.

And that’s with the low figure. I computed that you could buy every homeless person in America a house, buy each state in the Union its own private jet for public use, and still have more than enough to BUY EVERYONE ON THE EARTH A COPY OF OCTODAD: DADLIEST CATCH.

You want me to go on? Because I totally can, I’m enjoying the hell out of this. What are some ideas you have that we could better spend 5.7 BILLION on.

[softspideys]

Time After Time (Part IV) (Peter Parker x reader)

summary: peter parker is your worst enemy, but he’s also your soulmate. life is funny that way.

warnings: none

words: 1.9k

pairings: peter parker x reader

a/n: just because people keep asking me this and I don’t feel like answering it anymore....this will have MULTIPLE chapters!!! at least like 10!!!! probs more!!!! thank you for listening

The school year seemed to drag on like that: you and Peter actively avoiding each other, the universe and your friends determined to prevent it.

You’d always assumed that once you met your soulmate, you’d be the happiest person in the world. But if anything, your mood had worsened. You knew now that it was one thing to find your soulmate, but getting along with them was a completely different thing entirely.

Your chemistry teacher had long since given up trying to partner you and Peter together during experiments. It happened only once, and had ended with you pushing Peter off of his stool because he insisted on looking over your shoulder as you did the work to make sure you “didn’t mess anything up.” Since then, you stuck to your side of the room and he stuck to his.

In class, your teacher had just finished showing a documentary about drones and their use in chemical warfare. It was extremely boring, but after watching Bill Nye for the past three weeks, your teacher decided it was time to show something a little more serious.

“So,” he said enthusiastically, turning the lights back on. “What’d we think? Did we like it? Dislike it? C’mon people, let me hear your thoughts!”

“It was okay,” someone muttered, and the class murmured in agreement.

Your teacher rolled his eyes. “Really, guys? No one has any other thoughts?” No one answered. “Are we pro-drone? Anti-drone? If you were one or the other, did the doc make you switch your view? Why or why not? I’m desperate here.”

It really was getting to be quite painful, so with a sigh, you raised your hand. “Yes! Y/N!”

“I’m pro-drone,” you said, uncomfortably aware of everyone’s eyes on you.

“Alright,” your teacher said. “Why?”

You shifted in your seat. You’d been hoping he’d just take your answer and run with it himself, but no such luck. “Well . . .” you said. “They’re low cost. They’re way cheaper to purchase and fuel than regular airplanes. And they save lives, you know, so no military personnel have to be put in harm’s way or combat or whatever. The drones just do it for them.”

“I see,” your teacher nodded. “Does anyone else have anything to add? Anyone have a counterpoint?”

For a second no one answered and you thought you were done. But then, from across the room, Peter raised his hand. “I have a counterpoint.”

“Okay,” your teacher said slowly. Everyone knew by now that you and Peter together was a dangerous thing. “Go ahead.”

“Drones aren’t ethical,” Peter said. “It makes combat warfare too easy by diminishing ethical decisions. Some drone pilots or operators have difficulty switching between combat mode at work and civilian mode while not working. It can create PTSD.”

“So does actually being in the middle of combat,” you said, annoyed already. “Some drones don’t even need human pilots.”

“Drones can’t communicate with civilians for more detailed intelligence. Drones can’t capture surrendering military personnel, abandoned hardware, or military bases,” Peter spoke over you.

“They’re more lethal than regular airplanes and way more accurate,” you snapped.

“Accurate? Drone warfare causes collateral damages in civilian lives and property.”

“So you’d rather risk our own soldiers’ lives instead of civilian lives?” you said loudly.

“Civilians view drones as an invasion force. The mere presence of drones has been known to convert civilians into military combats. And when they cause collateral damage, like killing innocent people and damaging their property, the opinions of civilians decrease even more,” Peter said, his voice rising.

“Who cares what they think?”

“So you’d rather innocent people die for no reason?” Peter shot back. “What if the roles were reversed? What if a drone flew into the US, blew up an army base, and killed a bunch of innocent people? But oh no, they got their target, so who cares right?”

“That’s not what I said!”

“It’s what you meant!”

“Drones save lives. Our own lives! That’s what’s most important!”

“Everyone’s lives are worth saving!”

“News flash! You can’t save everyone!”

“You can try!”

“Parker! Y/L/N! That’s enough!” Your teacher practically had to yell to be heard over you.

You fell back into your seat, which you didn’t even realize you were halfway out of. “Both of you, go take a walk,” your teacher ordered. “Opposite directions, please. Come back when you’re ready to have a debate that doesn’t involve screaming at each other.”

Peter was out of his seat and out the door instantly. You reluctantly followed, and as you left you heard someone mutter, “Aren’t they supposed to be soulmates?”

You caught up to Peter and hit him on the shoulder hard. “Ow!” He turned and glared at you. “He said opposite directions.”

“Why do you always have to find some way to argue with me?” you demanded.

“It was a debate, chill out.”

“I’m not even talking about just the debate!” you practically shouted. “You always have to find some way to be better than me or correct me or prove me wrong!”

“Not my fault you’re usually wrong anyway,” he said coldly.

You clenched your fists so hard you could feel your nails digging into your skin. “Just once,” you said through your teeth. “I would like you to just leave me be.”

He shrugged. “Can’t help it if the universe keeps throwing me at you,” he said, though his tone had no humor in it.

“You’re the worst, Parker.”

“Are you sure about that? There’s 7.6 billion people on this planet and I’m the worst?”

“Forget it.” You turned on your heel and stalked down the hallway. As you turned the corner, you could’ve sworn you heard him laugh.

You took a short walk around the building, taking some deep breaths, and when you came back to class you saw Peter several feet away. You rushed to get there first. You slammed the door in his face, smirking at his annoyed expression.

“Welcome back,” your teacher said when Peter finally entered. “Take your seats, please.” You and Peter obeyed. You had a feeling that the real lecture would be coming after class.

Sure enough, when the bell rang, your teacher said, “Peter, Y/N, come see me, please.” 

The two of you reluctantly approached his desk. He looked at you with raised eyebrows. “What happened today wasn’t cool, guys,” he said. “I know not everyone gets along with their soulmates right away, but yelling at each other like that? Unacceptable.”

“Sorry, sir,” you both muttered.

He sighed. “I’m not claiming to know about the deep inner workings of your relationship, but I do wish you’d try to get along. You being paired together . . . it’s a pretty lucky thing.”

You blinked at him, confused. Peter must’ve looked the same way, because your teacher laughed. “If the two of you worked together on whatever you put your minds to . . . you’d be unstoppable. You’d rule the world. Think about it.”

Peter made a beeline to his locker as soon as you were dismissed and so did you, but you couldn’t help it: you did think about it.

* * *

“I don’t really think it’s hatred,” your best friend decided as the two of you walked out of school.

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“Sexual tension.”

It took everything in you not to burst out laughing. “Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“I see,” you said. “Well, thanks for that input. Now can we talk about literally anything else besides Peter Parker?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. What’d you get on that Calc test?”

“95.”

“What? How?”

“It’s called studying,” you said, amused.

“Nah,” she shook her head, “Mrs. Wyatt has it in for me. She’s never liked me.”

“Probably because you don’t study.”

She gave you the finger. “Well, here’s what I think about you and your 95.”

You laughed as you came to her subway stop. “This is me,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, bye.” You waved as you walked away. You put your headphones in your ears and turned on some music, letting out a sigh and tilting your head back to feel the sun on your face. You liked school, but nothing compared to the feeling of finally being done for the day.

You walked alone for a little while, enjoying the solitude and thinking about nothing in particular. Suddenly, a voice behind you called, “Hey.”

You ignored it, assuming it wasn’t directed towards you. But then someone came up and yanked one of your headphones out of your ears.

“Hey!” you said, turning in time to see Peter fall into step beside you. “What is the matter with you? What do you want?”

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To my subway stop. What do you want?” you repeated.

“Fine, let me walk you.”

This time you did laugh out loud. “Are you kidding? I’d literally rather get hit by a bus. I thought I told you to stay away from me.”

“Technically, you said you’d just like me to leave you be,” Peter corrected you.

“Oh my God. Can’t you just leave me alone?” You tried to quicken your pace, but Peter caught up to you easily.

“Believe me, I’d love to,” he said. “But . . . don’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“What it’s like when we’re together, versus when we’re not.” He gave you an annoyed look, like don’t make me say it.

Part of you wanted to say you had no idea what he was talking about. But it would be a lie. You knew exactly what he meant.

When Peter was around you, it was like the weight of the sky was being lifted off of your shoulders. You couldn’t explain it, but being near him felt like being home. You knew you were safe, that this was your person.

Of course, you hated every second of it, but you knew it.

“Yes,” you said finally. “I feel it.”

“Okay,” Peter said, his voice quiet. “So just . . . let me walk you. Okay?”

“Fine,” you said.

The two of you silently began to walk together. You noticed he had one of his headphones in, the other dangling loosely around his neck. “What are you listening to?” you asked, grudgingly attempting to make conversation.

“The Strokes.”

“Hmm.”

“You like them?” he said, side-eyeing you.

You nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

“Hmm,” was all Peter said. You didn’t speak as you walked to your subway stop, or as you made your way downstairs and onto the platform.

Finally, you turned to him. “Are you gonna get on the train with me or something?”

“This is where I get on too,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh.”

Your train pulled up first, so as the doors opened, you faced him awkwardly. “Well . . . see you.”

He nodded, not meeting your eyes. “Yeah, see you.”

You got on the train and watched him through the window as it pulled away. Now that you weren’t with him, the safe feeling had gone away. But that was all purely chemical, you told yourself. Nothing had changed. You still hated Peter Parker.

taglist: @tohollandback​@what-the-heck-life @curlycals @rudegrungegirlxx @dontmeanlove​ @hufflepuffbitch @fanboyswhereare-you @hollandroos​ @twentyjuanwinchesterz​ @space1boy @peterparker @peterp-peterq​ @theguildenark @ravenclawnerdfromnarnia @thisisthetragicstoryofme @peteparkly

[aaronexplainsitall]

what (who) is Mks?? (I swear i googled but it came up with a productivity solutions firm rip in peace)

Ah, to tell the story of MKS, I must tell the story of the band of legend, the Sugababes. Are you sitting comfortably children? Good, then I’ll begin. 

Once upon a time, in a magical land named ‘Britain’, there was a mythical band, born of legend, known as the Spice Girls. Together, they conquered the world, bringing girl power back to a dire pop landscape filled with moody American boy bands and turgid R&B. They were on a quest to spread the message of girl power and pop music far and wide, and to everyone’s shock and awe, they were successful! 

But then, one fateful day, their kingdom began to crumble around them and they went their separate ways to pursue far less inspiring and interesting solo careers (except Geri because Scream if You Wanna Go Faster is a bop you can @ me if you disagree you’re wrong). A dark cloud fell over pop music and for 100 days and 100 nights the kingdom of Britain descended into the coldest winter it has ever known. 

Then, the evil men in the record companies hatched a dastardly plan. What if, they wondered, another band could rise up to take the infamous Spice Girls’ place? What if, they continued, we threw away everything that made the Spice Girls wonderful, and unique, and although they were manufactured actually quite organic in a way if you really stop and think about what organic even means in the context of pop music? What if, they squealed, we could RECREATE the Spice Girls with music that wasn’t as good and girls who weren’t as inspiring, FOR MONEY? 

They all wet themselves in unison when they thought of all the money they’d make. 

And so a new generation of girl bands rose from the ashes of the Spice Girls. Some were Genuinely Fantastic (Girls Aloud), some were Pretty Abysmal (B*Witched), some were So Terrible They Were Actually Quite Enjoyable (Atomic Kitten). But none were quite like the Sugababes. 

Three working class girls, Mutya, Keisha and Siobhan, were walking home from school one day when they stumbled into a deep, dark recording studio owned by nefarious sea witch Ron Tom. “Come, my pretties,” croaked Ron Tom, “I will make you rich and famous and beyond your wildest dreams!” “Um, cool?” said the girls in unison, “we’d sort of rather just sing though, because we’re all quite good at it?” Ron Tom laughed, and laughed, and laughed. What a funny joke, he thought. 

The three girls became known as the Sugababes, because originality wasn’t important to Ron Tom or the sea witch overlords at London Records, and to everyone’s Shock! And Surprise! they released a Really Very Good Indeed first album. However, because the general public are largely morons, they sold roughly 17 copies of their RVGI first album. The sea witch and his overlords were most displeased. 

Meanwhile, the Sugababes had bigger problems. Fighting! Arguing! Chaos! Like so many bands before them, they had fallen prey to the cancer which rips through pop groups… Infighting. No one really knows what went on behind the closed doors of Ron Tom’s ocean cavern, but legend says that the youngest Sugababe, Keisha, bullied the whitest Sugababe, Siobhan, so viciously that she escaped the ocean cavern by crawling out of a window (that bit apparently actually did happen you can look it up not the ocean cavern mind you but the window). 

The sea witch overlords were most displeased and they dropped the Sugababes. 

But! A shining ray of hope at the end of the tunnel appeared! Atlantic Records swept ashore a new contract and a brand new member, Heidi! Heidi was perfect, the slightly less withered sea witch overlords at Atlanic Records promised! She had been in ATOMIC KITTEN, they gushed! She would make you LIKEABLE, the cried! WHAT IS THE POINT IN LIVING IF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE YOU, they screeched, their masks falling slightly and their sea witch overlord noses poking out! 

And so for four blissful years, the Sugababes ruled British pop. They sold a lot more than 17 copies of their next three albums, each one going double platinum, and scoring 5 number one singles. They had made POP MUSIC, they sea overlords cackled, that GROWN UPS AND CHILDREN could listen to. They wet themselves again, because of how much money they were making. 

But the Sugababes were Unhappy. Rumours of infighting, bullying, ferocious arguments about Britney Spears’ Toxic (you can look that up too that’s true as well) followed them wherever they went, and they were branded moody, miserable, nasty, mean girls. How awful, cried the British press, festering in pools of their own shit, that women would not be instantly likeable? IT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED, they howled, shit filling their mouths. 

So the Sugababes were dogged by bad press and quite possibly the fact that they actually didn’t really like each other because okay they were quite different people all things considered, and eventually, after the birth of her first child, Mutya left the band. 

Darkness fell across the kingdom once again. What would the sea witch overlords do now? Their pot of gold appeared to be washing out to sea, and who, oh who, would bring it back to them. 

Until a second dastardly plan was hatched. Why not, wondered the sea witch overlords, just replace her? It worked once? Beyoncé did it 412 times with her back up dancers in Destiny’s Child? We couldn’t get away with it… they wondered… could we? They did. Amelle was introduced to the band, and in a strange twist of fate, she was exactly like Mutya, only not quite as good, but really who was paying attention anyway?

And for another four years, the Sugababes trundled along, not quite as magical as they once were, but equally commercially successful, so WHO CARED? They pocketed more number one singles and platinum albums, made more money, faced more press scrutiny for supposedly not being perfect little ladies who always smiled and curtsied, business continued as usual. 

But before our Babes of Suga could count their considerable number of coins, a new evil appeared on the horizon… infamous shit monger, Jay-Z, and his band of cretins, Roc Nation. Like so many before and after them, the Sugababes were seduced by the bright lights and empty promises of Roc Nation. “I’ll make you a star!” cried Jay-Z, stroking Becky’s good hair. “I’ll make your wildest dreams come true!” The babes were seduced. 

And so Roc Nation and Jay-Z set to work stripping away everything that made the Sugababes unique and interesting and replacing it with literal festering garbage produced by RedOne, who by now it was known, wasn’t actually an interesting musician but had been bolstered by the considerable talent of Lady Gaga and got the credit for Just Dance, Poker Face and Bad Romance because he was a Man and she was a Woman, so he had to be the brains of the operation, right? 

The Sugababes became a national laughing stock, and their ‘comeback’ single, the appropriately awfully titled Get Sexy, was ridiculed far and wide across the land of Great Britain. The British press rolled around in their own shit laughing uproariously. “Ha, ha, ha!” the cried, “How we love to tear women down!” their own shit caked in their own hair. 

But a worse disaster would surely fall upon our Sugababes. Amidst the critical disaster of their new material, two of the Babes were scheming and plotting against the other, whom the goblins at Roc Nation were said to have favoured over the two other bitter and forgotten members of the group. Amelle and Heidi launched a plan, a dastardly, dastardly plan to oust the only remaining founding member of the band and seize the glory for themselves. 

They crept quietly into the sea witch’s cave. 

They tiptoed silently up the cracked stone steps. 

They shuffled noiselessly across to the sleeping sea witch. 

They whispered breathlessly into his ear. 

“Oh sea witch, we’ve been so sad,” they intoned, “The nasty girl has been so bad. Send her away, sea witch,” they begged. 

The sea witch woke with a start, and immediately set to work carrying out the wishes of Bitter Babes because he didn’t have the foresight to imagine what a monumental cock-up that would turn out to be, despite literally every other person who worked in the industry at the time saying, “hmm, maybe don’t do that, because she’s the last founding member of the group and the shit gremlins from The Sun and The Daily Mail might just assassinate you?” 

But listen he did not, and Keisha had been sent away in a cloud of shame and dishonour. The shit gremlins at The Sun and The Daily Mail (and even the slightly less shit-covered gremlins at publications like The Guardian, which was quite interesting really, because who’d have thought The Guardian would care about this really?) stayed true to form, and fired off their canons of diarrhoea in the direction of the sea witch’s cavern. 

Keisha was replaced by someone who’s name I genuinely can’t remember and that should tell you all you need to know about her, and the kingdom of the Sugababes crumbled in a heap of total and utter misery and mediocrity. Their final album, released without Keisha, received such rave reviews as “bland, soulless, and repetitive”, and the Roc Nation goblins promptly dropped the band on their shiny behinds. 

The nation of Great Britain wept. In the streets, the children screamed. The profits cried, and the poets dreamed. Not a work was spoken, the church bells all were broken. Who would save us from this misery? Who would restore peace to our land? 

Three long, dark years passed. Years characterised by no joy, no laughter, no love. 

But then, just as the land had given up hope, and collectively lay down to die, on the New Year’s Eve of 2013, a miracle happened. In a tiny club in Central London, three young women took to the stage for the first time in 12 years, with one simple mission. To save pop music. 

Mutya. 

Keisha. 

Siobhan. 

The original Sugababes (now called MKS for a variety of legal reasons but of course they branded it as the desire for a fresh start and no one really argued because WHO CARED THEY WERE BACK) had reformed. Ne’er a brighter day had shone across our fair land. They grass grew back, the trees blossomed, our winter of discontent had ended. 

They toured, performing Sugababes songs both old and new, taking a fresh control of their legacy and promising the nation that they’d be remembered not as the band who kept splitting up, but the band who GOT BACK TOGETHER! OH HAPPY DAY! That summer the three young women released the finest pop song known to man, ‘Flatline’, ahead of their sure-to-be unstoppable return album. Nothing could go wrong, nothing stood in their way now, the saviours of pop music had arrived in the world’s unlikeliest trio! Anything felt POSSIBLE!

and then they split up again without releasing the album because no one bought the fucking single the end