#anyway thank you for reading sorry i dont have any other outlets for my interests and sometimes i really cant keep it in

[joleneghoul]

Hey I followed to see that DC Disability public essay, so I’m new to this blog. It had me wondering what was your journey of discovering DC and it’s characters and what are your favorite comics, stories and characters?

Hi! Welcome and I'm sorry this blog is kinda my "put everything i think of" train of thought blog. But it's also my only blog lol! Thank you for being interested in the Essay. It's not near done as I'm still taking responses but we will get there. Rest is under cut because i accidentally rambled on.

As far as my journey with DC comics I feel like Dc has just been a part of my life forever- I've grown up in this world where caped stories are pop culture and everywhere and when i was growing up like EVERY cartoon about heroes was about the dc ones (brave and the bold, batman the animated series, justice league)

Actually my first memory I can recall is seeing an episode of justice league on the tv and seeing john stewart green lantern.

Though I wouldnt of called myself a fan really back then because my special interests for most of my life started with Sonic and then Transformers. But in my opinion the base of both of those universes and stories is the same as caped comics so it makes sense I eventually got into them fully.

I don't think I've told the story about how I started actually reading the comics but basically I was homeless at 17 and thats when my love for these comics started. I started reading old batman comics because around then I had met my boyfriend whos special interest was batman so that was my way of both distracting myself and bonding with him.

BUT through batman comics I got introduced to Blue Beetle and Booster Gold and I instantly shifted to reading the Blue beetle comics (sorry to booster i didnt read vol 1 until maybe a year later) specifically the 1986 solo about Ted Kord.

Like I mentioned I was homeless at the time and I hadn't even been diagnosed yet with any of my illnesses I had been suffering from for 5+ years at that time. But within those comics there are two very special stories that cemented my love for these comics and its.

1. Ted has an issue where he goes around the streets of Chicago at night because someone is killing homeless people. In other stories i'd read heroes would maybe briefly talk to the homeless if at all. But instead of that Ted the entire comic sits down with people and speaks to them and gets their stories. I remember reading it and feeling "oh, this is a hero who would actually care to sit down on the sidewalk with me. This is special".

2. There is another story in this run where Ted basically defends the life of this kid who ran away from home and has no immune system and sets out a way to help him. Not the best but I was relating to the kid at the time.

I ended up carrying around an issue relating to Ted in my backpack for most of that time just because it was special to me. Anyways its pretty much history from there I ended up getting into Booster Gold and other heroes as I looked further into these stories and learned more about teams and etc. But Ted Kord will always be special to me, especially since he also has a chronic condition.

As my condition progressed this became one of my outlets for expression and it still is. Through reading I found that a lot more of these heroes were disabled than I had previously thought because NOBODY talked about it. I remember at first not knowing Booster had lost an arm because it just wasn't something I saw mentioned (though back then like. Nobody was posting abt him or ted hardly. you'd be surprised it was like they had a lull in popularity for a bit which makes sense they were not in comics) so I kinda have made it so I talk about these things so they are in peoples minds more. At least a bit.

As far as my Favorite comics go I have to say my favorite comic is Justice Leagues Quarterly 10, but you'd probably want to know the JLI roster before reading it if you dont. JLQ has very fun collections of stories. I try to recc blue beetle 1986 to people too just because it's special to me same for booster gold 1986.

Speaking of essays, here is one I wrote about Booster Gold and his relationship with disability.

[lottiecrabie]

just wondering, it's obvious from your (amazing) writing that it's something you've put a lot of time/effort into crafting and are good at!! do u have any plans of pursuing a writing career in your life?? also, is fanfiction a sort of practice for your writing? because you can use matty as a vehicle, bc he's already this person with a personality, so u dont have to focus as much on building his character and can focus on other aspects of writing, or is it just kind of a fun thing on the side? sorry if this comes off as weird or invasive, im just genuinely really curious!! ive been here since the rockstar gf days lol and have been in love with ur writing and ive just been thinking abt this stuff for a while!!

thank you so much!! i do spend perhaps an unnecessary amount of care into my porn lol. i actually would like to have a writing career! i am currently studying screenwriting and i hope to publish smutty romance novels. i don’t know if it will actually come to fruition, but it’s a dream i have!

i’ve started writing fanfiction in 2020 because i was obsessed with a show and i had nothing else to do. it’s immediately been a very fulfilling creative outlet for me. the number of unfinished wips i have is Criminal and the only time i’ve managed to actually complete something is when i had the external validation at the end lmao. i always say i am my first reader because everything i write is things i want to be out there and i reread my stuff perhaps Too much, but i also 100% write for other people. it’s very nice to know people are reading and enjoying and i’ve given fics as gifts to many of my friends. i love making people happy with something i’m good at<3

anyway, by writing fanfiction i have gotten infinitely better as a writer because i practice and produce a lot more than i used to. a few words of a beginning of a story vs entire 100k, 60k, 20k fics makes all the difference. so i’d say it started as a fun thing on the side but accidentally became much appreciated practice that has made me a much more skillful writer

i do think having sort of built in world building makes it easier. exposition is not my strongest suit and not what i’m most interested in. it’s nice to be able to forgo it most of the time. however, i do think i end up writing characters through matty healy and the reader. how is a man so different between pfms and linecook for example if he’s supposed to be The Same Guy. reader is the same— i give them personalities and i always giggle a little when i write “you” as though it’s not an incredibly narrow precise character.

it is not weird and invasive at all!! i love talking about my writing process i could go on and on about this

[rileys-battlecats]

hey! i recently found your youtube, then your tumblr, and have become embroiled in your cats world! i saw your recent post that your blog is only about a year old?? thats insane! do you have any tips on how to get people interested in your worldbuilding? and to get over being scared to share anything? i often dont share things because it never even occurs to me that others would be interested. do you have any thoughts on all this? what you're making seems like so much fun and I want to play in the space similarly, so to speak! anyway, really excited to see more from you--thank you for sharing!

bro i am still baffled that people wanna know more about my little kitty-cat characters. I don't really know how to get other people interested, cause im not sure what I did to get here lol!!

I started this blog after "The Garden" took off and people were asking about character references. And since I was open to people asking questions, and tried answering them in an engaging way, things kinda picked up from there! I already had a lot of worldbuilding ideas mushed in my brain so this blog kinda became an outlet for all that. I put my tumblr in my youtube bio and in my video's descriptions and then people started showing up haha! I was also lucky to have a few people who regularly asked questions about the world and the characters, which I think encouraged other people to ask their own questions. If you look at my earliest posts, they're all just character references with little descriptions of their characters, and it slowly turns into more and more answered questions that devolve into an info dump of worldbuilding or character details lol. I've tried to keep a semblance of mystery to the story while also giving the people here an inside look at the characters and world! People get to be a part of the storytelling, because they can send in their ideas or interpretations of events and we can expand on them together as a community!

As for getting over the fear of sharing, it honestly helps me that this is all online and I don't have to look at anyone's face to explain things lol. Trying to explain the story to my family when they ask about it is SO hard for me; I feel ridiculous when I try talking about it out loud to them, I always feel the need to downplay the topics I'm covering when I do. Which I recognize is a symptom of people making fun of my interests as a kid so now I'm incapable of talking about them as an adult BUT we don't need those bad vibes rn. The way I see it, the blog exists and if someone is interested, they'll look at what I'm posting! If they aren't interested, they won't look! So even if I post something and it gets no engagement, it's still there if anyone is interested enough to read.

On the whole, I think the secret to having success here is to be smiled upon by the youtube algorithm gods tbh!! I definitely would not have the community I have without that engagement from youtube lol. I was definitely lucky!! Part of it is because I've created an interesting story with interesting characters (at least, I hope they're interesting HAHA) but I think it would be disingenuous to not make a note of how much luck plays into online 'success'. So my only real advice would be to start creating! Try to make things that would interest you, things that you have fun working on, and hopefully people will find it! If you want to try to find a community to springboard off of, I know the folks in my discord are super nice and supportive with other people sharing their ocs :)

Thanks so much for the interesting question!! I hope it's helpful, I'm sorry I don't have much in the way of concrete advice ^^;; it's really been such an awesome experience to be able to share my ideas with everybody here, I wish you the best of luck in your own future projects!!

[alltimefail-sims]

I dont want to sound rude but I wish youd stick to 1 project. I followed months ago and u seem to work on a lot of different things

This ask is over three weeks old; sorry to the sender that I've just gotten around to answering it.

First and foremost: I'm going to spin this a positive way and say thank you for being interested enough in one of my projects to follow me and inquire about my posting timeline. There are a handful of stories on simblr that I read and personally adore, so it's flattering.

With that being said, this is my hobby. I think of myself as a storyteller first, and I hope everyone who follows me can enjoy and value that enough to look past little editing errors and random (or slow) rollouts. It's kind of crazy to even be getting an ask like this because I do have a good amount of followers (thank you if you follow me, that's awesome), but there are MANY blogs that have a way larger following than me and I cringe when I think of one of them receiving a message like this. Good content takes time. If we're being honest, even subpar content takes time honestly lmao. I think everyone on here is sharing their sims and their stories for the love of it, for a creative outlet/stress relief, and/or for community engagement. Adding a timeline to something like that feels kind of unnecessary, imo. Plus, with the new pack coming and the infant update, I've been wary to go into any of my important saves. I can't afford to lose anything or have anything corrupted, and I'm not going to dive into anything when I know the game is about to undergo a massive amount of updates (and I'm going to have to wait on lots of mod and cc batch fixes most likely anyway).

Since we have opened this dialogue, in the spirit of honesty I want to add that this does kind of sound rude. We both know someone would never ask this off anon. It's just a peculiar demand to make of someone you don't know, and that's probably why you chose to approach this topic with anonymity, right?

Although, I will admit this ask poses a fair assessment: I absolutely do work on other things, whatever I feel like working on in the moment! I get new ideas every day. I'm sure I am not the only blog operating this way? When I really care about something though (like my Strangerville story, for example) I am extra meticulous about it. I'm not going to put out a story I love and am proud of in a half-assed way. I have a lot of learning, world building, and writing to do before that's even remotely ready to roll out. But I am doing my best, and I've shared details throughout the process because I'm excited about it. On the other hand, there are some projects I might try out but they just don't work. For instance, I hated doing the Bachelorette Challenge. It was extremely boring to me, and as much as I LOVE when other people do them, nothing exciting was coming of mine. I feel bad about that a little because I got some wonderful submissions, but this is my blog and I'm going to give myself permission (as everyone should) to only do what brings me joy or what I feel is worth my time. I haven't fully canceled it, but it's on the edge of the chopping block for sure. It's just not my thing, and that's okay. This is a hobby, and I want to spend my time on projects I love. I know follower count is always a big discussion on simblr for some reason, but that's not really why I'm here and I don't feel it is fair of followers to demand one type of content just because they followed for a specific reason.

Sooooo TLDR, I have to keep running my blog the way that works for me. I'm going to work on things as I want to and as inspiration strikes (that might mean I'm working on 5 WIPS at a time). I don't need a perhaps well-intended but nonetheless unnecessary performance review. I do appreciate you giving me an opportunity to explain this, and I ask for opinions frequently, so feel free to share them when that time comes. ❤

[mrfutureboy]

I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊

Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3

Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂

Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.

Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓

Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.

So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)

(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)

I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)

Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)

So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr

[rantsbymiriam]

Welcome bitches

My blog is back!!! No wait - my REAL blog is back. It's been so long. How i've missed blogging like the good old days. The time before PICTURES & captions took over. I still love pictures, but pictures can be faked. Blogs...well blogs can be faked too but it takes a lot more work to be fake. In this blog, it's gonna be so real, your mama sakit mata baca. 

I know I already have a blog (www.miriamomar.com) but that blog is only to talk about work and life related stuff that's super serious and super boring.  LETS BE REAL. I ain't gonna be swearing and dissing life crap in between posts about serious work stuff. ONE MUST SEPARATE THE TWO! My blogs are truly a reflection of my psyche. And these 2 blogs will show you two very different sides of me that I have (finally) come to terms with. 

On one side, I have this ~high achieving, give talks at conference, scholarship, academic, lecturer, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE, do the right thing goody two shoes~  side of myself. I call it my "Hermione" side. Which is really a big part of who I am. I can be extremely serious, philosophical and analytical "pseudo intellectual" bla bla bla. Basically, I have this complex about needing to KNOW EVERYTHING or else I would feel insecure and "unsafe". I also have an insatiable curiosity to understand the workings of the world and the true essence of being. Not many can follow my type of conversations. I know this because people start to yawn. My main hobby is to devour books and go around annoying people about what I read and telling them what to do (its true, i must stop I know im sorry everyone)

HOWEVER - this is not that blog. And this is not that side of myself that I would like to share to the world.. This space is for me to talk about THAT OTHER SIDE OF ME. The side that grew up in the depths of the longkangs in Kajang and Bangi. The side that got suspended in school multiple times because I asik dating dengan my boyfriend (now I realize it's just my "co-dependency" lol)  the side that tergolek in front of Zouk every Friday night (trauma symptoms lol) the side that your mama don't like and I have to cover-cover so your mama can still let you be friends with me!!! It's OK, don't worry, I won't be a bad influence this time around if I can help it. LOL

Well now, I have obviously mellowed out a lot. Like a LOT A LOT. I don't do crazy shit anymore. I have come to a place in my life that I have accepted my past and all the stuff I used to do (kak long kawasan etc etc) More on that bit later.

To be EXTREMELY honest, my life is not that interesting anymore. This is my first year of business as a full time artist, running Project MIRRO and part-time lecturing. I've been grinding and making ends meet like a robot. I haven't been out and about having a life since I got back from London in late 2017. I hardly get to see my friends or go out and lepak. I haven't dated at all. In fact,  I haven't met a new person of the opposite sex who isn't a business acquaintance or gay since 2017. And it's one more month to 2020. I'm not getting any younger either. Im 31 turning 32. and I totally don't have a life, let alone a LOVE LIFE. Oh My God 2.0. (Its okay I have more to say about this part it's not the end of the world)

Today I am supposed to work on a new collection release for Project MIRRO. I will do it right after I write this blog I PROMISE. It's just that, sometimes I have no more fuel to burn to run my life. Working alone in isolation, it gets to you sometimes. As an introvert, ITS GREAT, but it also has its downfall. MOTIVATION. This shit can't appear out of thin air ok. Bukan boleh beli online add to cart "Motivation" I'm literally that girl that has not seen the world and people in over 2 days. This could go up to 2 weeks. I'm just super comfortable on my own in my own world. I love it, I really do. TAPI, I know it's not good for me. I believe if im out and about, mixing and talking with people, I will probably get more income for my business. I know it. I dont know why I don't do it (malas sebenarnya) 

I have to say though, I have a pretty comfy studio..I dont feel the need to go out. I am very much comfortable in this space for me to create and be myself. But I also know that perhaps its not the best time for me to be in isolation at such an early phase of my new "art career" whatever that means. Whatever im going through now reminds me of how I was at my first job back in 2012. I am starting all over again, learning all over again with this new life path. Its hard, uncomfortable, and super consuming. And im doing it, LEGIT, all alone. Mana tak rasa cam kepala nak meletup. Obviously kepala I dah meletup a few times. Then I realized its because I don't have a new outlet to release stress. I used to paint to release stress but now it's my job. I need something ELSE. 

I've been playing music again, writing songs again (im NOT gonna show it to anyone I would probably die of embarrassment)So it seems like, sejak dua menjak ni, I feel the need to EXPRESS. To write again. To "communicate" without leaving my nest. This is the next best thing la for me since I am such a pemalas to mandi and pakai baju. I've been in the same kaftan for 2 days. WOOOTT. This is the best thing abt working from home. NOBODY CARES WHAT U WEAR!! But don't worry I totally mandi and gosok gigi for you aunties gasping and gossiping about this anak dara tak senonoh. Ishhhh.

Anyway, whatsup people? How are you guys? How is life?????!! I just realized back then when I wrote in this blog (with the same name), I had READERS. I just never really read the comments or participated in my "community" of readers. I should've. I will try do better this time and get conversations going. Reply and all that. PARTICIPATE. 

Ok its already 1.15pm now and I really need to get back to work. I have lots to rant about later malam sikit bila dah sunyi sepi and lonely lolol. Thanks for reading. Goodbye for now.

[fulminearcobaleno]

(Anon from earlier... i genuinely dont know who you were, where you came from, how often you see my posts, etc, but i really am thankful for the message earlier. I was/ have been going through a bad depressive state and I wish I could properly thank you/throw my love at you, but i understand shyness is also really rough and makes it hard to talk to people so i respect that boundary too. :c )

For those who don’t know, RPing was/is a major outlet for my mental health. When I was mentally at my worst, I’d look forward to rp replies because I had nothing else to look forward to. I didn’t think I’d live this long and stuff (sorry got real dark there), but like, RPing helped me with that. Of course I’m MUCH healthier now- depression doesnt go away but I learned to love myself and what not, which might explain why I maybe come across so unwilling to do things I don’t want to do like joining big groups or talking to people from my past who may have hurt me, because I am doing better and I don’t want to fuck it up and such. Of course the whole double edged sword thing is that when I don’t RP (which hey I only recently can really say I got back into it), its not so much “time to go back to feeling bad” but more “wow I really wish i was doing xyz.”

The worst is feeling like you’re promised something, and then it doesn’t happen, and you get all hopeful like yes I’m gonna feel the love I did back in the day and I’m ready for it and it’s gonna happen! But then it doesn’t. Muses die or interests change or any other thing. I have a fear of being told I’m a chore again (abusive ex situation for a good 5-6 years that got real bad/that’s a long story. We’re friendsish now/ there was a therapy time after break up its mostly good in the hood hjfdjsbdf i dont think i could ever rp with them again tho which they respected/understood). But yeah, I hate reaching out to people who I planned things with and then nothing happened or I did my part and then nothing happened because... i hate upsetting people? But I also feel so lonely and upset because I was so excited and in my head to feel this warmth and love. But if I say “hey, get online im depressed and lonely and it hurts” that’s not exactly right or fair either yknow? And for anyone going “but Cady if you say you’re healthy why does this matter so much?” And thats because maybe I’m still so reliant on my muse’s happiness to fill mine that when my muse is unhappy it directly affects me.  I mean, that sounds awful, but it feels like unrequited love (0/10 feeling right there, trust me, nothing sucks more than telling someone you love them and them saying they dont feel the same way and they think you should leave them alone for a bit. It’s not the rejection that hurts, its the emotional buildup and being told no and your brain jumping to “all the joy and happiness you feel when you think these things will never happen. You will never be loved the way you wish. You will never feel the comfort you want, you wont get the attention you want, you wont get anything more than passing words.” That shit stings right there man.) But anyways its like... maybe im speaking from an abused individuals pov too, but being told of all the wonderful things you always wanted like soft and tender or comedic rping, where you click so well with the other person that it feels like you found your perfect match, and then they’re gone. They’re there idly comment on things, but you’ll never get the softness you looked for for so many years

This is a really bad tangent sorry its like nearing 2 AM and I’m a really sensitive stupid person. Anyone whose reading this please know that this is all probably me letting things build up and i really should get better at just going “hey can we do this” but please i hope you understand im still trying to get to that point, because im so used to not being the priority in anything really that asking for things is hard. I cant even ask for money back from someone who literally stole it from me and admitted they did so because it felt wrong and i said they could keep it anyways as long as they apologized. And that was my fucking money! This is dumb i’m sorry also if this applies to you or you think it does i hope you know i love you guys a lot and im just too much of a coward to tell you im upset

[dunkalfredo]

Im in love with your vision of Infinite and Rookie and i want to hear some of your sweet headcanons about their time together. If anyone asked something similar, refer me to this post, please. Thanks!

alskdjnsjklnljkls tysm!!!! yeah sure ill share some headcanons. i did a post on a similar topic about a month ago but that’s more their individual personalities/aesthetics than actual relationship material so ill go ahead and add on some stuff here.

i should note that portions of this are based heavily off of the idea that they grew up together so prepare for some au territory at this point. my backstory for them is becoming so intricate jfc;;;;;; i really hope ur not disappointed with this answer i have like an entire pre-forces narrative planned out in my head at this point OTL if u were hoping for more general stuff just lemme know i can give you some more hcs for that (there’s already some but there’s also Backstory stuff that i can’t really explore through oneshot format)

this is entirely self indulgent tbhhhh anyways click that mf Keep reading button

there’s a lot of like. casual touch. lotsa hugs and leaning on each other and resting their chin on the other’s shoulder (or top of head depending on who’s who bc height difference) while looking over them at what they’re doing and its really rooted in their learning early on how much Gadget loves that sweet sweet Physical Contact (if u scratch behind his ears he will melt, guaranteed, you’ll have yourself a Boneless Gadget with a two-liter coke)

if it’s raining out gadget will insist on doing something that’s not just sitting inside all day but snugglin w/ infinite ends up tempting him into doing Exactly That lol

there’s a lot of companionable silence between them when it’s just Them Alone in a Room. sure they talk and chat and joke but there are so many times where it’s just,,, being Together,,, and enjoying being in the other’s presence as they each do their own thing

sorta going into childhood/backstory stuff but uhhhh:

starting freshman year of highschool they started just bein each other’s dates to school dances even though they were “just friends” for like half of that timespan . i love cheesy stuff like that im sorry bro i had to include that tidbit i know it’s super specific and particular to my own backstory for them but just, they’re best buds and they gonna have a good time at homecoming lol

please imagine: those cute pre-dance pictures that parents take at the stairwell or front porch or somethin right before their kids leave, but with gadget and infinite. gadget’s got braces and they dont really fit in his mouth and his lenses reflect the light in the photo and oops infinite blinked and his shirt is too big and tbh their suits in gen just don’t really fit them right, gadget’s shirt is untucked and infinite’s tie is crooked but it’s okay, they’re both smilin reeeeaaaal big (and besides they figure out how to look Aesthetically Pleasing by junior year)

summers were hot in their hometown (note: i grew up in the north so i know nothing of True Heat, bear with me on this one.) most evenings were spent out on gadget’s fam’s back porch, cold towels resting on the backs of their necks, sweat in and under their fur, and they’re melting into the wood of the deck, fan plugged into that one weird outlet on the outside of the house that’s really more a fire hazard than anything else but the cool air is nice. they’re just lounging around reading comic books and listening to music on infinite’s old zune (lots of mid-2000s punk rock bands bc what else were u expecting) and in later years when they’re in that teen puppy love stage they’re trying to cuddle but it’s TOO DAMN HOT OUTSIDE so they resort to like, gentle hand holding, infinite reading some pretentious literary work or whatever and gadget spacing tf out next to him

when they graduate and are assigned a partner to walk down the aisle with they still end up w/ each other even though technically the partners are chosen according to alphabetical order and they’re on opposite ends of that list whOOPS how’d they do that? (hint: last minute shuffling in line)

when they move outta their small lil home town and into The Big City (im gonna say that would be Sunset Heights to tie in some canon plot relevance) they move in together and share a flat. a) its more financially manageable to just split housing costs like that and b) it’s been a dream their entire lives to live together when they’re older so oh!!! they’re older now!!!!! time to live together

(okay that’s all for backstory stuff back to reg hcs)

neither can cook but its ok

it may seem like they bicker a lot but it’s usually either the like, joke argue of “what do you mean craft mac n cheese is gross take that back” or reprimands like “it’s one a.m. time to sleep u Fool” (self-care is important, lads). they actually communicate really well so high-stakes arguments aren’t super common (and when they do happen they dont tend to explode. i wanted to have them be the type that argue for understanding and not to prove they’re right, so that greatly affects the outcomes of their disputes.)

infinite loves to hum while he’s doing things, or just in gen, and his voice is very low and smooth and gadget looooooves it, so much. they’ll be, i dunno, doing some mundane thing, like maybe they’re out getting groceries or doin dishes or something (i love me that domestic content) and he’ll start humming quietly and it just, it really grounds gadget in a way that sometimes he doesn’t even know he needs till infinite does it.

anyone here ever played bayonetta? any a yall remember those bits where there’s a woman in bayo’s memories singing and/or humming ‘fly me to the moon’ all quiet and low? think that but just,,,, pitched down,,,, yeah,,,

the tunes are usually very slow and while not so much melancholy theyre just? i dunno melodic in the same lax, smooth-tempo’d way a lot of melancholy songs are? i dunno i like quiet, introspective infinite and aesthetics that reflect that

here’s a long one: about a month before infinite “goes missing” and forces happens, infinite lands a job at a local news outlet as one of the column writers and even tho he’s more into prose than journalism he’s so fuckin pumped. it’s mostly just excitement over not doing cashier work and having a money-makin outlet he’s at least somewhat interested in lol …aaaaaand the way ship headcanon works into this bullet is that when he finds out that he landed the job he so excited that when gadget walks into the room (it’s morning and gadget literally was just gonna get some coffee, he’s still in his pajamas, he’s got bedhead) infinite sees him and whoops he tackle-hugs him and then whoops he knocked them both onto the floor but its cool gadget kinda let it happen and when infinite tells him what happened and apologizes he’s now also super excited and happy for him so now there’s two (2) people screaming inside (and out) about this awesome development

here’s a short one: they wear each other’s clothes a lot

gadget’s v cuddly in his sleep so he gets really clingy w/ infinite when a) it’s early morning and they’re just waking up b) it’s Late o’ clock at night and they’re chillin at home or c) he’s Actually asleep and within like three feet of infinite

i dont really know how to end this lol i dont really wanna just start repeating myself and i might think of other stuff later but for now pls consider the following: when they sleep whoever’s big spoon ends up resting one hand over the other’s heart and it’s super sweet

oh and they smooch a lot (i told you this response was self indulgent)

[ssfoc]

(***) if it weren't for the lack of media outlets then. Or maybe just less documentation on it. Information access is so available, worldwide and free though not necessarily accurate. It'll be easy to lose focus, to care more about the echoes and not the sound. Because why not? Its there. Last, would you mind maybe recommend other blogs that talk about 1D music or just music in general. I dont have musical background so its always interesting to read and compare from different perception/mindset

(****) Music is what interest me the most about 1D, and I hope they create more music in any kind (solo or otherwise). I think we became fans for various reasons, not one more valid than others, and its important to remember that. I’m trying not to lose focus. Thank you for your time, friend. Also, IS there anyway to send long post without breaking it to parts?? tumblr is a new thing for me :)

I do have a lot of great pop music blogs and podcasts to check out!

Blogs:

Popjustice: has a Spotify account of new music to follow. A lot of new music to listen to on the site

Pitchfork

Stereogum

The above three are all very mainstream pop music sites. Lots of industry news, reviews of new albums, samples to listen to. 

All Music: reviews a ton of music. I trust their reviews mostly. It’s a good place to start on most music. Also connects bands from one LP to another, which I find very helpful– tells me a lot about band history and the development of their sounds.

Fluxblog: I happen to like Matthew Perpetua a lot, if only for the fact that he listens to and reviews a lot of indie, rarely played, unusual sounding music. He has a shit ton of music on the site for download, all the way from the 1970′s.

Podcasts:

I love listening to pop music podcasts. Often they are hosted by people who have spent years studying and writing dissertations about pop music– about music theory, sociology, fan psychology. Everything about it is fascinating. I love the podcasts that talk about theory and songwriting. You would be surprised by some of the insights you learn. 

Pop Unmuted: love Scott Interrante, the musicologist, and Kurt Trowbridge, his friend. They discuss everything in an entertaining way, and often have great guests. 

Song Exploder: Love love love this podcast. They breakdown the elements of songwriting so it looks like a mess o the floor, and then slowly put it back together.

Sodajerker on Songwriting: haven’t listened to this as much, but plan to

Switched on Pop: smart smart smart people. You will never listen to pop the same way again. Start with the episode, “How to listen to music in four easy steps.” The Leonard Cohen classic Hallelujah will be broken down in such an intelligent way, you will have to pick your jaw up from the floor. 

And the Writer Is: Ross Golan’s podcast. He wrote If I Could Fly with Harry. Lots of people with varying experiences in industry, all with very interesting stories. Savan Kotecha, Julia Michaels, Sir Nolan, Bebe Rexha, and many, many other excellent writers have spent an hour talking here. 

Addendum: I don’t know how to send long asks without their breaking up, anon. I’m very sorry. However, I’d love to chat by message if you want to. My message box is always open. Last, I am not aware of any blog, besides mine, that discusses One Direction music with song-by-song analysis. I have reviewed songs from requests. I will also review any future solo songs from the 1D boys that seem interesting to me. Thanks for reading!