#anyway sorry for rambling. i love my weird pig dog

[lockandkeyhyena]

honestly every single day im shocked at how lucky we were with jaxx. he’s not got any of the typical pittie/staffy aggressiveness with small animals or children whatsoever. how did that happen

[katnissmellarkkk]

Okay, here we go! Imma do my liveblog of The Hunger Games, Chapter One, for #THGagain :

I’ll put my thoughts underneath the cut so I don’t clog up the dash 🥳

Okay but right off the bat, Katniss says her mattress cover is rough 🥺. I don’t know, this just made me sad all of a sudden.

So okay, but the fact that Prim had a bad dream and climbed in with their mother? I don’t know if that indicates that Prim still sees their mother as a source of comfort whereas Katniss can’t let herself feel the same way or if it’s just because she didn’t want to wake Katniss.

Maybe it’s supposed to be that Prim is too naive to understand that their mother is mentally fragile? Since in Mockingjay, she says “I know there’s only so much mother can hear,” or something like that, as a way to prove she’s not a little kid anymore sooo. I don’t know. Just some thoughts.

Katniss is shady towards mama right off the bat 🤣. Katniss is shady no matter what though. It’s what makes her narration sound like a teenage girl.

If Katniss is so anti-social though, who’s telling her her mother was once beautiful?

As a cat lover, I take offense to Katniss’ insults to the poor one eyed furball 😭.

So coal miners are also women? I suspected as much but I didn’t realize it was explicitly stated? So if Katniss’ life had gone differently, would she have become a coal miner?

So none of the houses in Twelve get electricity outside of a couple hours a night? Or just in the Seam?

I always forget that Katniss had nightmares even before the games 😔😔😔. Nightmares of her father “being blown to bits.” She has a vivid way with words.

Her father made her bow 🥺🥺. I knew that. I just thought I should mention it again. She uses the bow her father handmade throughout the series 🥺.

Also she says Peacekeepers turn a blind eye to “the few of them who hunt”. A few is more than two. Who else besides Katniss and Gale go hunting?

I like that she randomly starts mumbling to herself 🤣🤣🤣

Once upon a time, Katniss was outspoken apparently. But she mentions that she has to hold her tongue even at home because Prim may repeat her words. I don’t know why, but Prim seems immature for twelve years old. At twelve, in today’s society, you’re going into sixth grade. A sixth grader should know how to keep a secret or hold her tongue.

Gale says she never smiles but in the woods but isn’t that the only place they really spend time together? 🤣

“I kind of liked that lynx but I liked the money I got for it’s pelt more” 😂😂😂

An arrow inside bread. How fortuitous 😭😭😭

I do love that Katniss’ first introduction of Gale is “he could be my brother”

“But we’re at least not that closely related” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

“Katniss, get off your cousin”

Even though the merchant class is smaller

Meaning they’re even more inbred

And Katniss is half merch-

Okay I’m done with this line of thinking 🤭😅

So backwoods 🤣

So did Mrs. Everdeen’s parents disown her? Or what? Do they still own that apothecary shop? Does Katniss occasionally walk by her grandparents in the town square? Like I’d like more context here, Suz 🙃

Aww, I always feel so bad for Katniss when she talks about her mother abandoning her 😭😩🥺

“But to be honest, I’m not the forgiving type” me either. Me either 🤧.

This may be why I so closely relate to her when she’s angry.

And why when people in the book say she needs to be more forgiving (ala Haymitch) I’m like “no”

I’m sorry but on second glance (more like 8th glance because I’ve read this chapter since I was 16) it’s so obvious Gale was hitting on her here 😅.

She’s oblivious 🤣🤣🤣

As she should be 😆

So later on, in the second book at least, Katniss definitely has some high respect for Hazelle Hawthorne. But here it seems to be like she’s implying Hazelle and her own mother are useless without her and Gale, and like they wouldn’t be able to provide for themselves. Maybe Hazelle just wasn’t fleshed out to Suzanne when she wrote the first book, the same way the love triangle you can tell if you look is sort of just tossed in there in the first book too? Anyways, just a thought.

That line about Prim being the only person Katniss is certain that she loves is sweet (it’s actually one of my favorite lines in the series) but it’s also so shady at the same time 😅😅😅. Like girl, you’re not sure if you love your mother or even your best friend (in a platonic way)?

Katniss makes a point in mentioning it took a long time for her and Gale to become friends. And I feel like that has been simplified a lot along the way, but it never really sounded to me like Katniss and Gale were besties for as long as most people think. The movies are a lot to blame for this, I know.

I don’t actually think Katniss is truly jealous here of the other girls wanting Gale? I feel like if she were she would have unconsciously insulted the school girls who were into him instead of just outright saying she was jealous, just not for romantic reasons. But who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️.

It was already mentioned earlier but I think Suzanne made a continuity error here, when Gale and Katniss mentioned fishing at the lake. The lake is a place Katniss explicitly mentioned in Catching Fire, to be private between her and her father. She even specially said she never took Gale there. I feel much better about my own writing continuity errors now.

Okay, both Katniss and Gale are so dumb. I would never prepare a feast for after the reaping. They’re just jinxing themselves. I have OCD really bad no one come for me.

I like how The Hob is a black market that’s literally just sitting in broad daylight 🤣🤣🤣.

Katniss just referenced being attacked by dogs... um I’m sorry, do we have no fear of rabies in this universe? 😭😭🙃🙃😐😐😅😅

Katniss : “me and the mayor’s daughter aren’t friends, we just hang out all the time at school, eat lunch together, sit by each other and are always partners. But weren’t not friends.” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I like the mention of hair ribbons for the rich girl. This is just the fic writer in me seeping into my reading.

Gale and Madge’s little dispute ...

I see why they get shipped together 😅. They’re both just taking swipes at each other here.

Awww, Katniss sticking up for Madge, even though Madge is the privileged one 😭. Katniss has such a pure heart.

The entire point of the Madge/Gale interaction though was just to set up the class divide explanation in Katniss’ head to the reader.

But my Peeta centric heart also picks up on the comments in Katniss’ head of how unlikely it is to be chosen at the reaping when you’re a town kid.

In other words, Peeta had a slim to none chance of being chosen and still was.

Now I think of it, so was Prim...

That was just an unlucky reaping for the kids without tesserae 🙃

Also it reminds me of every fic I ever read that mentioned a conspiracy in the reapings and how the kids aren’t actually chosen at random but anyways I digress

I feel Gale though, with the whole idea of knowing something isn’t this person’s fault and there’s nothing they could do but still being so angry at them because it isn’t fair that you have to suffer and they don’t.

My anger issues are really showing 😅😅😅.

Honestly though, if Katniss is saying Gale on a normal day is rational about the class divide not being merchants faults, then clearly his issues with Peeta later on really were just of jealousy and not because he was a merchant vs Seam.

I just feel like I’ve seen that around and I’m not really convinced

In my interpretation of the character, Katniss’ reasons for not sharing in Gale’s rage comes from exhaustion after a lifetime of powerlessness. Some people (re: females more often) just get worn out about the things they cannot change and can’t even let it get inside their brain because there’s nothing they could do about it.

I mean, she is a more understanding person than Gale but I feel like so much of her character is already so tired right from chapter one.

Okay, just a pointless rambling thought

“Where something pretty” these children are so shady 🤣🤣🤣 that’s a line I would say though

The fact that her like 42 year old mother still fits in a dress she wore at like 20 is really a testament to how hungry they are 🤧🤧🤧

Okay but I’m not trying to pick on her mother, but when they were starving, why did either she or Katniss sell the fancy clothes from her apothecary days? I’m nitpicking I know. I’m a nitpicker.

Also good for Katniss trying to forgive her mother.

God knows how hard it is for me to try and forgive people.

Literally, God knows.

I like that Katniss didn’t disagree with Prim saying she’s beautiful, just that she doesn’t usually look this way 😂😂😂.

I just know my sister wouldn’t let me not take tesserae if this was us. She’d be like “you’ll be fine, four entries? Please. We can have more food for an entire year, don’t be selfish.” 😅😅😅

I feel like noting that Katniss and Prim’s age gap isn’t that significant? Four years? That’s not that large. Not even at 12 and 16.

They herd these children off like they’re .... pigs going to a slaughter... 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss casually stating “I could be shot on a daily basis” 😐😐😐

Katniss and Gale agreeing they’d rather be shot than starve is honestly so sad but lowkey sounds like something two teenagers would say. They should have put dialogue like this in the movies.

I didn’t even remember District 12 has 8,000 people.... why’d I think they only had 3,000????

I need to update some of my fics with this information

Katniss just said “televised by the state”. I’ve never heard her call any region a state before?

I like that Katniss calls Effie’s grin scary and white, because tons of people (i.e me) whiten our teeth in today’s society. And to Katniss and probably all of Twelve that’s creepy. I think it’s weird to Europeans too but l digress.

Also do the people in this district brush and floss, they never seem to mention it in the books, ya know?

Honestly the idea of the hunger games sounded cooler without Songbirds and Snakes telling us it was just some dumb guy’s idea that no one ever thought would come true.

Aww, sugar is a delicacy 🤧🤧🤧

I knew already that but lemme fully feel that sentiment for a moment okey

Umm I’m sorry, did Mayor Undersee just casually state Lucy Gray Baird’s name every year and we never knew it? Did Snow just allow this? Seems suspish

Also the idea of Katniss being her distant relative and hearing the name and not knowing the connection... and yeah, anyways. I got wayyyy ahead of myself and off track sorry

Why would Haymitch hug Effie? I’m sorry, but Hayffie having a secret affair at some point in all the years they worked together seems more likely than I thought.

I mean, Katniss never mentions Haymitch hugging anyone besides her and Peeta when they just almost died, are about to die or that one time Katniss was sobbing because she thought Peeta was gonna die.

You know what though? I like that at this moment, when the name is about to be announced, Katniss worried about herself. She spends so much time worrying for her sister, babying her sister, mothering her sister, she deserves ten seconds of worrying for her own safety.

Of course, said sister is the one chosen. Ironic considering the whole encounter with Madge.

Okay, I think that concludes my thoughts for chapter one of The Hunger Games!

[aclosetfan]

hi so like

“i saw this and thought of you immediately”

if you want to for any ship HDHDHDHDHD

@over-under-through1 Okay, so, I gave ya greens last time, and you said ANY ship, so I decided to give my rare pair some love. And it’s just sweet pure brain rot. Anyway, as always, thanks for the prompt!!! 

Prompt: “I saw this and thought of you immediately” from the prompt list of ways to say “I love you” without actually saying it 😊 that whole list makes me go soft. Pairing: brick/bubbles 

Word count: 4696// this was supposed to be a drabble :)))))

Summary: I’ve got nothing witty to say. Bubbles just gives our boy a gift and he almost hemorrhages. 

(Bubbles’ love language would totally be gift-giving based on how crafty she is, my love language is definitely NOT gift giving so I hope this isn’t horrible)

Brick licked chip crumbs from his fingers as he flipped through the tv. On the floor, next to the recliner he had deemed his for the afternoon, his journalism partner—one seemingly disgruntled Blossom Utonium—was busy organizing their project into five hundred million different tasks. She was dividing them evenly, and despite her warnings and threats, he had already resigned to do his two hundred and fifty million assigned mini-steps last minute like usual. It was the same song and dance they did for every project they were paired up for, which was incredibly often and, frankly, not by choice, though now, he supposed he'd be a bit insulted if she went and picked a new partner after everything they had been through together.

Investigative Journalism 302 was supposed to be another blowoff class he had decided to take solely for the credits. Still, when it became clear to the professor that Brick wasn't going to be taking their class seriously, they had gone out of their way to ruin his life and pair him with Blossom Utonium. Despite the good A-quality content they churned out, it had not been an easy go around the first few times they had been paired together. They were too similar and too different in all the worst ways. She was too type-A to his type-B, and they were both too stubborn to admit when they were wrong. But, him and Blossom both had a penchant for sticking their noses in places they shouldn't, so somewhere along the line—probably around the time they had broken into More Co. to follow a lead and diffused a hostage situation at the Mayor's Manor—they figured it was easier to be friends, not enemies.

They were chalking up to be Townsville's resident Sherlock and Watson, except they both fancied themselves Sherlock and the other Watson, but, eh, what relationship was perfect?    

This time around, they were investigating some strange chemical. The only lead they had come from Blossom's own father. He had apparently said something "cryptic" over Sunday brunch that had launched Blossom into overdrive. Eavesdropping on one of her old man's telephone conversations, she had listened to him mutter about the letter X, failed mutations, a strict deadline, and an explosion that may or may not have been the same explosion at the 'abandon' smelting factory two weeks ago.

She took the information personally since it involved her father, but Brick had met the man before and didn't think there was an evil bone in his body. The lab he worked for, though, was an entirely different story. H.I. Mechanics was one hundred different kinds of shady.

Three days from now, Blossom had decided that he would need to have the, again, two hundred and fifty million preliminary tasks done before their big stakeout. She’d be lucky if he decided to do three of them, but he entertained her ramblings anyway because the longer he stuck around her place, the longer he got to bum her cable.

That had become their routine. Meet at Blossom's place, let her rant like an anal madwoman, ignore her in favor of the reality trash tv that he loved but could not afford at his own apartment, and then have whatever painstakingly thought-out plan Blossom had concocted backfire on them in the near distant future. The process was like clockwork.

"—and if we go in at that time, really, why would they refuse us entry? The records we're looking for should technically be public record, though they're no doubt redacted. We're going to have to—you're not listening to me, are you?"

"Yeah," he hummed, more focused on the reality tv season wrap-up reunion he was watching, then whatever she was talking about, "that sounds good."

"So, you're not." She snipped, and the tone of her voice caught his attention.

"Huh?" He glanced at her for a moment before looking back at the tv, "Not what?

"Listening to me." She gave him a cross look, stepping in front of the tv, "You're not listening to me.

"Whaaa?" He tried sounding offended as he attempted to shoo her out of the way, "Noooo, what gave you that impression?"

"Listen," she snapped her fingers in front of his face a few times, and he felt his face scrunch up in distaste—he wasn't a dog, "both of my sisters are going to be home soon, and I don't want them to get mixed up in all of this, so we need to drill out the details of this plan before they get home!"

Blossom lived with her sisters—Buttercup, and Bubbles—in a two-bedroom apartment close to the University in downtown Townsville. All three went to TownU, which wasn't too surprising to Brick. It was an incredibly good school, and he'd admit all three of them were smart, but still, three for three had to be a little weird, right? And to think, people accused him and his brothers of being joined at the hips.

He gave her a dry look as she walked back to her spot on the carpet. "We both know that's not how this works."

Blossom slammed the book she had opened shut, "You're impossible."

"I think you meant to say consistent." He spared her one last glance before settling back into the recliner, "Really, Bloss, how in the world do you think you'd be able to keep this one from them? At this point, my brothers just assume I'm at the center of the mayhem."

She tsked, but the lack of argument was deafening. After a moment, she sighed, and her shoulders dropped, "I just don't want them to get hurt. Not like last time."

"Don't know what you're so worried about." He drawled, "I recall them saving us, not the other way around."

"And I recall the scar that's now running up and down Butters' back." She shot back, "This time, there will be no mess-ups."

"Yeah, wanna bet on—"

"Home!" Buttercup's voice rang throughout the apartment as the front door was slammed open and shut, "How we feeling about take-out—Oh, sup, Brick. You good with Chinese tonight?"

"We're working on school stuff!" Blossom exclaimed, scrambling to cover up the more elicit details of their ‘homework.'

Buttercup rolled her eyes, placing a hand on her hip, "I can tell. What's it this time, huh? Something normal or is there a bomb threatening to reactivate the volcano in Townsville Central Park that I should be made aware of?"

"It's norm—"

"—mutants." He interrupted Blossom, "The man funding your dad's company is sups sketch."

Buttercup shifted on her feet and crossed her arms, "Does this have to do with that Chemical-X stuff dad was talking about?"

"Don't you have a shower you should be taking?" Blossom huffed, glaring at the both of them, "You just finished a run, I can tell; you smell like a pig."

"That's what tipped you off?" Buttercup snorted, "Not the copious amount of sweat dripping down my face? Hey," she nodded her head at them, "ask me how my run went."

Together, he and Blossom rolled their eyes and sighed, "How'd your run—"

"Really well, wow, thanks for asking!" Buttercup smiled, "I beat my average, sooo think hard about what where you want to order from for dinner tonight. We're celebrating! I already texted Bubs," Buttercup stuck her tongue out at them, "she was much more enthusiastic."  

"Then celebrate with her," Blossom frowned from her spot on the floor, fingering the edges of her notebook, "we've got a lot to finish tonight. I don't think we'll have—"

"Yeah, yeah. Listen here, hero-girl," Buttercup scowled, hands back on her hips, "you still gotta eat. Ima take a shower, you have till then to put the spy shit away. Speaking of spy shit," her glare shifted to him, "your brother done fixing my car yet?"

"Ask him, babe." He sniffed, looking pointedly at the tv, "I ain't the middleman."

He suppressed the urge to bulk as Buttercup lifted him up off the recliner by the collar of his shirt. A dark smile snuck its way across her face as she leaned close into him, "Considering the fact that you owe me for getting it destroyed in the first place, baby, then I think you are."

"A lesson in forgiveness would do you well, but fine, I'll ask." He sneered back, unwillingly to show the dread that ran up his spine when he saw the look in her eyes, "You do realize, though, it'd be faster if you just called—"

"Nope!" She sang, dropping him back down in the seat, like nothing had just transpired between them, "If he wants my number, he has to ask for it!" She walked down the hall towards the bathroom, "I don't make the rules."

He scowled, watching her walk away before turning his head back to Blossom, "She's lucky I owe her."

"You're lucky," Buttercup called from down the hallway, "that I saved your sorry ass!"

Blossom snorted, and he shot her a dirty look, "Don't encourage her."

"Oh, be quiet," Blossom snickered, "just watch TV like you always do, and I'll put—"

"I'm home!" A high, singsong voice rang through the house, as the door was once again thrown open, and his heart palpitated without permission. He forced his eyes to focus on the tv, and if Blossom noticed how he sunk low into the recliner, she thankfully didn't say anything.

"In here!" Blossom called back, and from the corner of his eye, he watched as Bubbles stuck her head around the corner. Quickly, he turned his attention back to the tv and tried his best not to seem at all interested as she practically danced her way into the room. She was always practically dancing everywhere she went. It was annoying.

"Blossy, oh my god, you will not believe what—Brick!" She exclaimed, shoving a finger in his face when she noticed he was in the room, "Wai—Brick Jojo! Do not move from that spot!"

He blinked and looked around at the spot he had forged for himself in their living room. His bookbag, snack bags, disregarded textbooks, and his jacket littered the space around him, and his body had imprinted into the recliner's seat cushions, so when he looked back at Bubbles and gave her a dry look, he meant it when he said, "Yeah, wasn't planning on it."

He looked away quickly when she beamed at him. Her smile was bright, sweet, and dimply, and also very annoying. People couldn't always be so immovably happy, could they?

Bubbles giggled and did a little hoppy-dance before she calmed down and looked back at him, "Ahhh, okay!" She wagged a finger at him, "You stay! I've got a surpriiiisseee for you."

"Again," He huffed, ignoring all the less-than-innocent surprise scenarios his traitorous brain played through, "wasn't going anywhere."

"If you're not going anywhere, why don't you actually do some work while you wait." Blossom's voice bit through the air, but he ignored her, going back to flipping through the tv.

"Yeeepp," He popped, his tone no drier than hers, "wasn't planning on that either."

 Blossom mumbled to herself and looked at Bubbles, "Before you go, can you help me with these books? I'm putting them in my bedroom."

Bubbles held out her arms, moving around the recliner and out of his field of vision, "No prob-lamo, chica! What's this all for?"

"Don't worry about it." Blossom brushed Bubbles off, and her sister giggled again.

"What?" The blonde snorted, "Is there a bomb in the volcano?"

He could practically hear the way Blossom stiffened, "Why does everyone keep saying—do people think there's a bomb in the—"

"Blossom!" He groaned, "I'm fucking hungry, hurry up."

She hmphed and stomped out of the living room with Bubbles presumably following, so he relaxed in his seat, ready to blow out the deep breath he was holding when Bubbles' visage filled his vision.

Her smile crinkled the corners of her baby blue eyes, and the back of his neck instantly warmed at the proximity. He wasn't one for people invading his personal space, but Bubbles literally had no freaking concept of it. She was always shoving her face in his. So, unfortunately, Brick was very aware of the sun freckles that littered their way throughout her cheeks and it was particularly distressing because staring at her face made it easier to forget the No Touching Rule he was pretty adamant about people following.

"Stay." She reminded him; her tone tinged with lingering laughter. This close, she smelt like the physical embodiment of a bakery, and it took a significant amount of willpower to pull his eyes away from her.

"Whatever." He mumbled.

With another giggle—always with the dumb giggling—she was gone, and he was finally alone to collect himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered a string of particularly nasty curse words at himself. Objectively, he was well aware that Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were…attractive, but he was never actually supposed to be attracted to any of them. They were the girls. They were just the girls. Ever since he had known them, they had been just the girls.

Blossom had a stick up her ass.

Buttercup could probably disembowel him.

And Bubbles giggled and smiled.

And it didn't matter if she giggled and smiled at him. Because she giggled and smiled at everything. She was one of those people, the kind of person that gave someone their undivided attention in a room full of people. She was good at making people feel good about themselves. She didn’t do it just for him. No see, if he was attracted to Bubbles, which he wasn't, it was because she was very good at making all people feel seen. So, he wasn't special. He wasn't. And it just—she would…he wasn't used to people just automatically assuming the good in him. People so optimistic tended to avoid him.

The positive attention was just making his head spin, making things confusing, and that was it. He wasn't one of those sad, lonely guys who mistook niceness for flirting. He had a clear head on his shoulders. It was just attention he was unused to. And it was a kind of attention he didn't need. Bubbles was just a nuisance. Her personality was too sweet. They were so different. Even if he did actually end up somehow magically liking her, it wouldn't work between them in a million years.

Besides, everyone already knew that pretty social butterflies didn't actually go for anti-social dweebs. Real-life wasn't an overdramatic coming-of-age rom-com. Realistically, she probably went for guys like Boomer.

He let out a shaky breath and turned up the volume on the tv. Some housewife was crying about something laughably petty, but he couldn't find it in himself to smile.

A second later, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a pair of hands clasped together over his eyes. He only relaxed when he heard Bubbles voice nice and warm next to his ear. "Peak-a-boo," she laughed, "guess who!"

He ignored the way her breath tickled his neck and frowned into the darkness, "A heart attack?"

"Oof, so close!" She snorted, releasing her hands from his face and leaning around the recliner, so he could see her smiling at him, "It's Bubbles!"

"Hello, Bubbles." He droned, not resisting the way his eyes rolled but fighting the way his mouth was trying to twitch into a smile.

"Ready for your surpriiisse!" She sang, walking around the chair so she could stand in front of him with her hands clasped behind her back. He pressed his way further into the recliner after their knees knocked together, distancing himself from her.

"As ready as I'll ever be." He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "What is it?"

"It's a gift!" She rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet, still smiling.

"Okaayyy." He reached a hand out with grabby fingers, "Let's get this over with, give it here."

She tilted her head back and laughed, a real honest belly laugh, before she looked down at him again, and suddenly, he felt tiny under her gaze. "Oh, my goodness, Brick," She chided, "I'm not just gonna hand it to you! Close your eyes and hold out your hands!"

He adjusted the brim of his hat lower down his face and looked away, "I don't—"

"I said—" she repeated, reaching a hand out to pull his hat down completely over his eyes, "Close your eyes!"

"Fine." He hissed, trying to sound as grumpy as he was pretending to be and readjusted his hat as he shut his eyes, "They're closed. Happy?"

"Hold out your hands!"

He sighed but complied, and after a bit of shuffling on Bubbles' part, something small was placed in his hands.

"Okay," she announced, "now open your eyes!"

He opened his eyes and stared at the little…thing in his hands. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he figured it was some kind of fluffy…hat…keychain? He didn't know. He gave it a quizzical look before returning his stare to Bubbles.

"Ta-da!" she sang, accompanied by a pair of jazz hands, before she clapped them together, "Do you like it!"

"What…is it?"

There was a pause, and the smile on Bubbles's face fell away. "What is it!" She huffed, cheeks puffed out like an angry chipmunk, which was the worst angry face she could have because it just made her cuter, "It's a dog keychain!"

"This—" he held the keychain up for both of them to examine, "—is not a dog. It's a ball of fluff."

Bubbles' mouth dropped open, "It totally is! Look," she snatched it out of his hands, smooshing the fluff down so she could show off its' pointed ears, stubby little legs, and tail, "see! Puppy! A little Pomeranian! Baby puppy! Puppy, puppy, puppy!"

With something akin to bloodcurdling embarrassment pulsing through his veins, he watched as Bubbles continued to baby talk the offensive keychain, placing a tiny peck on its' small nose.

"And look!" She gushed, shoving it back into his face, "Look at its wittle red hat!" She squealed, bring it back to her so she could cuddle it to her face, "It's so cute I can't even!" Without warning, she dropped into his lap, which was around the same time his heart dropped into his stomach, "I saw it and thought of you immediately!"

He froze at the admission. He had never once thought of himself as someone who short-circuited very often, but people didn't compare him to a cute Pomeranian keychain very often either. In fact, he had been called a lot of things in his short lifespan—wiseass, smartass, punkass, there was a very consistent theme of derogatory titles thrown at him on the daily—but cute Pomeranian was not one of them. And, frankly, he couldn't say he was a fan.

"Are you comparing me to a Pomeranian?" He sneered, momentarily forgetting the fact that Bubbles Utonium was making herself comfortable on his lap, and he was neglecting to stop her.  

"Duh!" She said rather flippantly, pushing the brim of his hat up and off his face, so they could look at each other. Another definite no-no that he was too flabbergasted to address.

"I would not be a Pomeranian!" He argued when he collected his jaw off the ground.  

"Uhhh, yes, you would, lol." She argued back, playing with the fluffy little keychain in her hands. She kissed its face again, and in turn, his face only got hotter.

"Uhhhhhh," he mocked, "no, I wouldn't be."

She looked up from the keychain and gave him a somewhat patronizing look, "Yes, you would be."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

She laughed, "Brick, yes! You're just like a Pomeranian! You're super intelligent, curious, feisty, you like being the center of attention," she looked off for a second in thought, waving a hand in the air as she talked, "and you've definitely got some tiny dog syndrome in you."

He blinked at her, gaping, as his brain worked overload to find something to dispute in that analysis, but when he couldn't find any, he spat at her, "Why do you know all this shit about Pomeranians, huh?"

"They're one of my favorite breeds!" Her face lit up, "They're just so cute! I love them! And you remind me of them, so I got this for you!" She held the keychain up again, "It's so cute!"

His mind ground to a sudden halt as the words' cute' and 'love' and 'you' repeatedly echoed in his head. His heart hammered away in his chest, and in his panic, he contemplated throwing her off his lap and burning the whole apartment complex to the ground. What was one more arson charge on his record, anyway?  

"Bubs—stop saying…so what?" He asked, floundering before changing tactics. She wasn't the only one who could say embarrassing shit. "Does that mean you think I'm cute or something?" He flirted with a smirk, but it was only after the sentence left his mouth that he remembered Bubbles Utonium didn't get embarrassed. She smiled and giggled.

And that continued to ring turn even now, as she laughed, wrapping her arms around hia neck, she squeezed him. Only letting go of him slightly, to the bring the keychain up to his face, so she could bop the little dog’s nose and his nose together. "Of course!" She agreed, "Cute as a button!"

"N-no!" He sputtered.

"No," she pulled away from the crook of his neck, tilting her head in question, "what?"

"No," he sneered, "I'm not cute like a button."

She considered this for a second, tapping the keychain to her face, before shooting him a broad smile, "Handsome? Is that better?" Mirth tinkled in her big doe eyes, "You're our handsome boy?"

"That's worse!" He complained almost hysterically, running a frantic hand through his hair, knocking the hat he had somehow forgotten he had on from his head.  

"Aw, Brick, come on," She rolled her eyes, catching the hat before it fell to the ground and plopping it on her head, "what do you want me to say then?"

"The truth never hurt," He spat as if he hadn't lied through his teeth at least three different times this week to three professors that he couldn't attend class because his beloved family pet 'Insert Name Here' had died.

Bubbles pouted, "But I told you the truth! I think you're handsome!" She held up the keychain, and with a horribly fake and cheesy deep voice, she used the gift as a puppet, "You're the most handsomest boy in the whole world!"

She solidified her point by making the keychain kiss his nose once more before pulling back to gape at him, "Wow, see even Mr. Puppy agrees with me!"

"Oh, right," he shook his head, in mock agreement, "a handsome boy with little dog syndrome, right?"

"Well," she shrugged, waving him off, "I never said you were charming."

His retort was caught off with a giggle, and she made the keychain kiss his nose once, then twice, and then his breath hitched as a third wet kiss was planted on his cheek by Bubbles herself. She pulled back with a coy smile.

"Brick…" she hummed, trailing off, and something about her tone made him swallow thickly.

"Y-yeah." He finally pushed out after a moment.

"Can I play with your hair?" She asked, leaning forward, laying her head on his shoulder as she twirled a lock of his hair around her finger, and he swore his soul left his body. No one, absolutely no one, touched his hair. No one wore his hat. No one sat on his lap. And here she was. And here he was. And he wasn't stopping her like he should have been.

"Uhh, umm, I—uhh—"

"Bubs, jeez!"

He jumped, choking on his own spit, as Buttercup marched into the room, her hair still dripping wet.

"Seriously, personal space, you're making him uncomfortable." Buttercup huffed, one hand on her hip as he gestured to his face, which was probably redder than his hat.

"Uncomfy!" Bubbles shot up, and a guilty look flashed across her face as she took in his face, "Ah, shoot, sorry, is this too much?" She took her arms away from his neck and wrung her hands together, for the first time blushing, "I just get too excited sometimes! I have a lotta love in my heart, ya know?" She finished with a bashful chuckle.

The small distance between them actually made it a little easier to think again, but she didn't need to know that. Embarrassed by the noticeable flush of his face and his reaction to Buttercup catching them, Brick shrugged and looked away, "You're fine."

That was apparently not good enough for Bubbles because she pleaded again, "I'm sorry!"

"I said," he hissed, wishing she'd drop it, "you're fine!"

"I'm still so sorry!" Looking back over, he was surprised to see her lower lip wobbling, "I shouldn't have forgotten!" She put her hands on her face, squishing her cheeks, as tears began to well in her eyes, and he sent a frantic look over towards Buttercup, "I know you're not a hugger, I should have asked and—"

"—Bubs, he said he was fine." Buttercup interjected again, "Now, you're just making him uncomfortable all over!"  

Bubbles looked from Buttercup to him, back to Buttercup, and then finally to him once more. "You're fine?" She clarified, “This is okay?”

And all he could do was nod, "Yep."

Visibly relaxing, her eyes became less and less watery, and she shot him a relieved look.

"Sheesh." Buttercup mumbled and walked away, "zero to one hundred. Bloss!" She called out, "Come save your poor counterpart from the clutches of cuddly evil over here and let's order the food!"

"What!" Blossom called from her room down the hall.

With an exasperated huff on Buttercup’s part and something more frantic on his part, they both yelled out, "Food!" and there was a scoff from the bedrooms.

"No need to yell!" She shot back, "I'm coming!"

Buttercup shook her head before jabbing her thumb in the direction of their tiny kitchen and announced, "I'm getting the take-out menus."

Bubbles nodded and then, beamed when she noticed Blossom had walked into the room.

"Blossom! Look at this cute keychain I got for Brick!" She cooed, her eyes bright and excited again, which would have brought him some relief if she hadn't opened her big mouth and kept talking, "Doesn't it remind you of him? It's a Pomeranian!"

Face aflame once more, he snapped, "I'm not a Pomeranian!"

"Ho—ly shit!" Obnoxious laughter floated its way out of the kitchen that only made him grind his teeth, "He totally is!"  

"It's the little dog syndrome." Blossom agreed, flipping her hair over her shoulder and ignoring the crude gesture he shot her way as she walked past him towards the kitchen, "BC, let's order from Lee's!"

"No way!" Buttercup argued, "Pa Changs!"

He turned back to Bubbles, who, despite it all, had yet to remove herself from his lap. He was about to make some remark about him pushing her off of his lap in the next three seconds, but the way her eyes flinted over his face made him pause. When she realized she had been caught staring, she smiled once more, bright and beaming, and his heart did another funny little dance.

"You like it, right?" She tilted her head, holding the keychain up so it dangled between them, "I…I can take it back if you want."

Her smile fell the slightest of fractions along with his heart.

"No!" His hand shot out, taking hold of the keychain, "It's—I like it, whatever." He sniffed and turned his head away, "So quit the kicked puppy shit, alright?"

Another smile. Another giggle. It felt like a sick joke, but Brick was pretty sure he was falling in love.

-----------------------------------------------

A/N: That’s right! It seems the only way I can write romance is with a shit ton of pining!!!! To love is to long, I guess. It’s a little awkward in some places, but it was for fun, so I decided to cut myself some slack and post it anyway! I hope you like it!!! The pairing doesn’t get a lot of love, but I think opposites attract dynamic is so so so cute.

Also, sorry this took me forever! First, I got distracted looking at cute dog pics and then halfway through writing the drabble I was like “hey what if I stuck Blossom in this and she and Brick solved mysteries??” So, then I lived with that AU floating around in my head rent-free, and now, finally, here we are. ANYWAY, in this AU, Blossom is in a very sapphic relationship with Princess, who, along with HIM, is the main antagonist. The Professor is the damsel in distress btws. Brick and Bubbles are disgusting cute. Boomer’s gay, who for tho?? Who knows! Not me! But he’s a freelancer, who’s hardcore freeloading off of Brick and Butch, and that’s all you really need to know. Buttercup has big Mom Friend vibes. Also, Butch is a mechanic and playfully flirts with Buttercup, which she thinks is funny until he actually starts really flirting with her, and then she’s like “um, sir, I am a maiden???” b/c she is actually both shy and a prude. (And you know I like my greens) Anyway, el oh el, it’s a good time.

inspo for the keychain (and brick):

[letsgobethegoodguys]

What are your fav Cas moments? (This may or may not be Star Wars AU related)

Okay! This took me ages because I wanted to think of things that would be specifically helpful for your AU 🙈 But I decided to just go ahead and ramble and let you see if anything works for you since, y'know, you’re the only one who will actually know what you can use. 😅 Anyway, I love the opportunity to talk about our sweet angel. His character development is very important to me. 😢 This is gonna get really, really long and I’ll probably end up reblogging to add stuff as I remember more scenes, so set aside a solid chunk of time to read this, and buckle up. Just remember, you asked for this. 😏

I think my all-time favorite Cas moments are in the episode ‘First Born’ in season 9. I mean, you really see his development so fully. And it’s such a good episode for Sam too, UGH. First, Cas is so freaking cute about the peanut butter and jelly sandwich not tasting the same since he’s no longer human (always jelly - not jam, he found it “unsettling”). I mean, he actually says, “I miss you PB&J.” We stan a dork. (Also, Sam taking a little swipe from Cas’ sandwich? Just kill me. It’s so cute). And don’t get me started on the “You have a Guinea pig?” line, accompanied by his adorable, confused head tilt. I love this soft boy.

Cas comes up with the idea to extract Gadreel’s grace from Sam, but it’s gonna hurt like crazy, so he is extremely reluctant to do it. (Flash forward to Cas saying, “I won’t hurt you, Sam” in 'Peace of Mind’ - but we’ll come back to that episode). As Cas is extracting the grace, he tries to stop repeatedly because he can’t stand to see Sam suffering. But Sam insists that he keep going. Because Sam feels so guilty for what Gadreel did. And I love Cas’ line, “Why must the Winchesters run toward death?” He says that when he was human he learned, “that all life is precious, and must be protected at all costs.” That’s another thing I have always loved about Cas. His love for humanity. (in season 8, I think, he says something like, “Watching humanity never gets old, does it?”) He has always believed that humans are God’s greatest creation. Flawed and imperfect, but beautiful in their imperfection. Special and unique and precious.

Quick aside (not actually very quick, of course, because it’s me talking) - The scene in 'Ouroboros’ where he talks to Jack about loss is another fave of mine. “Humans burn bright, but for a very short time compared to things like you and me.” More evidence that he just loves… people. Specifically Sam and Dean, of course. But he loves humanity so much. (Even more than humanity’s ACTUAL creator tbh). “The point is that you got to know them at all. When they’re gone, it will hurt. But that pain will remind you how much you loved them.” Also, Cas is very fast and loose with the word “love” in recent seasons which I absolutely adore. Like in season 12 when he was dying and he used what he thought was his last breath to say, “I love you. I love all of you.” And he so easily told his son, “Because I love you, Jack. Sam and Dean, they love you.” And Jack certainly learned that from him - our nougat boy says “love” quite a bit too. (It would take me another insanely long ramble to talk about my favorite Jack moments, of course. Luckily, you know them all already 😉).

Alright, back to 'First Born’. Cas keeps going with the extraction because Sam begs him to. Sam is overcome with guilt over Kevin’s death. And he feels utterly useless. “Please help me do this one good thing,” Sam pleads with Cas. Cas’ empathy for Sam is what convinces the angel to keep going.

He finally stops when Sam is on the verge of death, blood pouring from his nose, eyes unfocused. Cas smooths his hand through Sam’s hair, gently removes the needle, and heals all of Sam’s wounds.

So here we go. This may be my favorite Cas moment ever. He looks at Sam. This broken, crushed shell of a man, haunted by mistakes that weren’t his, struggling with feelings of unworthiness and overwhelming, gut-wrenching guilt, unable to recover from the violation of having his agency taken away by his brother. Sam was almost hoping to die from the extraction of the angel grace left inside him. Moments before, he hinted at wishing he had completed the trials and died in that church, finally resting, with Dean holding him. But in this moment, Cas doesn’t let Sam sacrifice himself. Instead, he looks at Sam.

And he says, “Nothing is worth losing you.”

I just, I love that line so much. How desperately must Sam have needed to hear that, especially then… UGH.

I want to stop here because I’m an emotional wreck from reliving that scene, but I have more to say. So I’ll wipe my tears, and keep going.

Last note on 'First Born’ - this is where Sam teaches Cas how to hug (I think it’s important to note that Dean has already hugged Cas at this point, in Purgatory, but Cas’ response was a look of confusion and arms still hanging loosely by his side). When Cas doesn’t respond to Sam’s hug, our tall boy awkwardly says, “This is the part where you hug back.” And Cas’s little “Oh,” kills me. Then the way Sam pats Cas’ neck after the hug is so very affectionate and also so very Dean and I love it. UGH. So, anyway, that’s my favorite episode for Cas, probably. It may be the one that made me fall completely head-over-heels for him, although I always loved Cas.

This is already entirely too long, but here are some other favorite Cas moments/quirks:

- All of his hugs. He’s very much a hug-until-the-other-person-lets-go kind of hugger. And I love that about him. His hands usually linger on the other person’s shoulders or sides after a hug too, which is adorable.

- Him looking for Sam in 'Peace of Mind’. “I’m looking for my partner. Tall man. Hair. He has beautiful hair?”

- Cas being sassy and 1000% done with everyone at all times. For example, “I don’t wear a hat!” And “You know what I like about him? He’s sarcastic, but he’s also thoughtful and appreciative.” And “If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know.” And “I used to lead armies, but now I’m stuck with a talking dog and a scruffy philistine.” And “These are my friends. My friends who don’t listen very well.” Et cetera, et cetera. (I really don’t know if those quotes are exactly right but I will not be looking them all up right now 😅)

- Cas saying to Jack, “To be fair, we all got punched in the face.”

- Cas trying (and often failing) to make appropriate pop culture references or use common expressions. “I thought you were gonna sleep until the cows dragged you home.”

- Random dialogue thing. Cas is the only character who really says, “Oh, (insert character’s name here)”. I just find that really cute and soft? He says, “Oh, Sam” multiple times that I can think of. Like when he saw what breaking the wall in Sam’s head did to him. He’s also definitely said, “Oh, Dean” at some point. And when a teary-eyed Jack said, “I don’t have anything”, Cas replied, “Oh, Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me.” Maybe this is a weird thing to point out. But I really love this quirk of his and it’s so unique to him.

Okay, that’s it for now. Gosh, I hope any part of this is useful for you, my dear friend. I’m sorry it got so terribly long. I had more to say than I thought. And like I said, I may come up with more. But maybe this has just been me rambling unhelpfully, so we’ll see if I actually add to it. 😅 Anyway, I’m so honored that you asked me! I love you, Kyler! 😁

[sunnysynthsunshine]

San-Soho (The Young Ones/Black Mirror)

note: even though there are meta-references to the actors playing these characters (Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson) the characters are still the same, even if they have similar appearances as their actors outside of the “san soho” realm.

Some dialogue I have added in myself, but the rest of the fanfic’s format was based on the original script of the Black Mirror episode San Junipero written by Charlie Brooker and directed by Owen Harris) they own the concept,and (The Young Ones was written by Ben Elton,Rik Mayall and Lise Mayer, Directed by Paul Jackson,Geoff Posner and Ed Bye, with the characters belonging to the actors who played them).

Britain's equivalent to San Junipero is San Soho

(when Rick Pratt wanders San Soho he meets a punk called Vyvyan as their lives change forever)

(this is also mainly told from Rick's perspective)

Chapter 1

The year was 1985

Walking along the sidewalk of neon sparkling Soho was the sarcastic but socially timid Rick Pratt,

A young man in his early 20s he was dressed quite plainly

He experienced 1985 before this was one of those many times

He decided to visit the local nightclub

He had a loose grey shirt, black badge covered blazer and red boots on, not usual nightclub attire but he wasn't really a party person so he focused on Pac-man which he was not good at

when suddenly he saw a beautiful orange-haired man in a trihawk dancing on the dance floor to The Clash.

Rick tried to ignore the punk but he noticed him

“Oi!”

He tried to run off but the punk kept gesturing to him moving his head in his direction when he wasn't moshing

“Wanna join”

“Pardon?” Rick said unable to sense the gesture due to the loud atmosphere

“Right” the punk mumbled before he ran over to Rick and dragged him to the dance floor to join him

“You're going to enjoy this” the punk shouted before Rick started to mosh

Swaying his body in an animated fashion like that of a vintage cartoon character

The crowd was crashing like a wave except covered in spike studs and band logos

Rick felt like a stammering Ian Curtis as he clambered making sure he didn't hit anyone

He ended up clambering with that punk from earlier.

Part of Rick wanted to enjoy this cool “rebellious” activity but the other felt like he was ruining the event simply by being there.

He felt uneasy he didn't want anyone thinking anything weird was going on.

Rick was unsure about the concept of moshing but tried to continue anyway.

Chapter 2

When the song was over he left the dance floor he felt a bit embarrassed he could feel his nerves acting up so he just sipped his lemonade and walked out the fire escape door.

The punk from before caught up with him “Why are you running away?” he asked

Rick  made an awkward smile “Sorry I’m not into *moshing*”

The Punk answered back “No shit you were like the world’s most stiff giraffe back there”

Rick was going to walk off only for the punk to say “I was taking the piss...obviously”

“I’m Vyvyan, sorry for forcing you to mosh with me, I only get to do these on Saturday nights

Rick sat on a low wall

“It wasn't that Everyone was looking at us crash into each other”

Vyvyan tilted his head “Why would they care?”

Rick made a couple miming gestures with his hands

“You know? two blokes grinding into each other like cheese graters”

Vyvyan lit a cigarette and smoked it

“Okay: one, there’s not as many uptight tory folks here as there used to be, and two,

This is a punk part of town nobody’s judging here”

“You want one?” he offered as he leaned over holding his lighter to where Rick was sitting

Rick nodded as he also took a cigarette

Vyvyan spoke again “if they were staring it’s because they were intimidated by me sod em”

Rick chuckled “your such a stupid fascist you know that?”

Vyvyan smirked proudly “Thank you”

Rick looked at the sky “I’ve never moshed before”

Vyvyan stared at him surprised “Never, as in you’ve never gotten a gang of mates to just destroy the dance floor to Iron Maiden?”

Rick shook his head “Never I’d usually listen to punk rock music alone

Living in a right-wing house that was frowned upon, tattoos, androgyny the whole lot

Vyvyan was shocked “What are you a hermit? that’s one drab existence you’ve got there”

Rick shrugged

“They vote the pigs, the officers attack people like rabid dogs I want to be a revolutionary Anarchist poet but I can’t do much else they worship thatch like she’s God outside of literature I’m politically pathetic”

Rick looked down when Vyvyan sat next to him

“Yeah, Well. No one knows about half the shit I’ve done, like Riding a motorbike up someone's staircase”

“With your folks, they come from a different place on the political spectrum tories will always be nasty in my eyes”

“Yep I agree with you there, it doesn't help to have no mates, they simply don’t understand concepts like shyness, trust issues or anxiety

I get panic attacks sometimes around crowds and what they say is just deal with it.

“from past social experiences I’ve had to repress many things depressive episodes, nerves and flashbacks just because I don’t want to bother others or bring the mood down”

“I always feel weird when put into lively situations but that’s because I haven’t gotten the chance to fully express myself in that way”

Rick kicked his legs against a wall when Vyvyan looked at him

“What would you like to do that you’ve never done before?”

Rick smiled “Oh so many things I’d like to go to concerts, I’d like to perform for people, I’d like to, I’d’ like to

Vyvyan put his finger on Rick’s lips “Soho is the party hub of London might as well nick all the time we have left while we still can”

They went to fortune tellers, they went to thrift shops, they bought some “magazines” and they checked out the local comic strip club seeing the likes of French and Saunders, Alexi Sayle and Peter Richardson and Nigel Planer onstage telling jokes.

Rick and Vyvyan then ran off to a pub where they got completely sloshed usually Rick would be able to hold his lager but when “Come On Eileen” was playing on the radio Vyvyan had thrown him into his arms as they danced until after a few more minutes Rick was getting tired and Vyvyan was getting bored “Boring bastard” he mumbled angrily as he grabbed Rick’s sleepy face shoving his head into the cake that was in front of him.

Rick cheerfully said, “Hey Vyv this is like Laurel and Hardy or do you prefer Chaplin?”

This ramble of questions cascaded into Vyvyan yelling “Shut Up!” in Rick’s face

Rick was suddenly silent he was probably asleep but then Vyv remembered what he said about mental health before as he quietly carried Rick over his shoulder driving him back to his place in his yellow Ford Anglia.

At Vyvyan’s house, he let Rick relax on his sofa covered in his universal monster themed blanket

He was about to mumble “I’m sorry” when Rick suddenly awoke to scoff “You bloody fascist” pointing his finger at Vyvyan aggressively before he threw a tantrum “You got your hands over me  How dare you! And to think you thought you’d get a snog from me”

Vyvyan was annoyed but not annoyed enough to get violent so he chased Rick around the room

There was a short intermission from the fight when Vyvyan accidentally turned on his record player making the Cliff Richard hit “Living Doll” play which made Rick pause going into a dream-like trance badly singing out of tune

it was not long until they were both yelling “Virgin” at each other while pillow fighting.

However, because of the fun “fight” as they were no longer angry they were laughing

When Rick’s pigtails were undone Rick then pulled at Vyvyan’s hair leaving orange hair dye stains on Rick’s shirt

What started off as a chase around the house, dancing and pillow fighting resulted in Vyvyan trying to playfully choke Rick only for him to aggressively hug Vyvyan in return

After the snog and shag was over

Rick innocently licked his lips “I’ve never done anything like that before”

Vyvyan smirked “All the more reason” as he unlocked the handcuffs from his bed

Rick hesitated “you're a lovely bloke. I can’t”

Vyvyan shrugged “Alright then”

Rick stumbled over his words “you see -I?”

Vyvyan nodded “I understand”

Rick looked at the time and scrambled to get his clothes on before he was about to dash outside “I have to go”

Vyvyan stared “in this crap weather?”

Rick shouted back “It’s been great to meet you”

Chapter 3

He shook Vyvyan’s hand before he left

Later in the early morning, Rick was looking around his wardrobe for different outfits

He tried a green suit but it didn't work, he tried a basic shirt with a tie and jeans that didn't work, he even tried a blue and red anorak but that didn't work so he just had to settle with his pair of yellow dungarees.

A few days later at the same club, they met at Vyvyan tried to talk to Rick but he was talking to someone was that Peter Richardson’s son he was with?

He wandered into the restrooms that Rick had went off to he surprisingly still had his pigtails in

They said nothing

Rick looked in the mirror his hands on his cheeks unhappy a fake smile projected on his face amongst the red lip balm smudged under his lips

“I don’t know how to do this”

Vyvyan was confused “do what?”

Rick whined “Just help me can’t you just”

He settled “It’s like talking to a bloody hologram”

Vyvyan looked down and then back at Rick’s upset face he smiled

“You want to get in my car?”

Vyvyan raced his Ford Anglia down the highway the street looking like it was a 1980s music video

Rick asked, “How long have you been here?”

Vyvyan answered, “In Soho?”

Rick nodded

Vyvyan thought for a while

“ a couple months but the main thing is I’m planning to enjoy myself before I finally pop my clogs...guess I’m a lurking wanker like you”

Rick chuckled “Yeah”

Chapter Management

Edit Chapter

Chapter 4

Vyv’s car suddenly ended up in the upcoming lane luckily they prevented danger as the car skidded to a halt

“SHIT!” Rick yelled

Vyvyan started erupting into laughter his gravelly nasally voice being more loud than the traffic

“Your face”

They then went back round to Vyvyan’s place to have another shag even though outside of the dream system version of Soho Rick and Vyvyan were virgins

They then chatted about their past loves Rick apparently once had a big crush on a Scottish makeup artist and they remembered about when they watched the comic strip days before that Vyvyan and Jennifer Saunders were making subtle body language to each other.

Rick then remembered not only were they in the simulated afterlife of Soho but they were fictional characters with vague memories of the meta actors who played them in real life

He looked at the clock and then remembered something dark,something secret something Vyvyan should never know.

“I’m just going to party and nothing is going to stop me not Tories and definitely not that facist God”

Rick then walked off in a huff

Vyvyan continued to enjoy life in Soho without Rick but that was hard

A few days later and Soho looks like it’s in the 2000s

Vyvyan walked into the night club while Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz played in the background

Vyvyan could see Rick with his hair down in more “Emo” attire playing dance dance revolution only for him to stop when he noticed Vyvyan.

Vyvyan started hounding Rick with questions in the restroom

“Wait a minute I’ve been looking for you why did you piss off like that?”

Rick was irritated “Why are you here?”

Vyvyan shouted “Why did you hide from me?”

Rick ran off some people could notice when Vyvyan saw that Rick was on the roof of the nightclub

Vyvyan ran up to where Rick was “Please tell me your pain slider is turned down”

Rick moved his eyebrows “Maybe,Maybe not”

Before he walked away “I’m not going to jump”

Vyvyan sighed looking down and then back at Rick “Look I’m sorry alright,I’m a lurker too I-I

Rick felt solemn “I don’t know how long there is,I wasn't prepared for this I wanted to…”

Vyvyan shut him up with a kiss

They had another passionate night in Vyvyan’s place but then the unpleasant question was mentioned again

Rick exhaled “I have 3 months”

Vyvyan whined “Why? I’ll have nobody to play fight with at the pub every night nobody to have slapstick arguements with it’s not going to be the same”

Rick explained “my real life self, he was married he had kids,he had a happy life he entertained many but then he took a tumble on a quadbike and lost part of his spark eventually that caught up with him and he’s in the afterlife now I’m still around because I’m a fictional entity he created but like with imaginary friends I’m fading the more I’m forgotten I don’t want the same fate"

Vyvyan started to sob “Don’t leave me this way”

Rick smiled at him “I’m dying the people’s poet is dying nothing but that scares me”

Vyvyan whimpered “I want to visit you,let me say hi”

Rick again walked off the time changed from 11:59 to 12:00

Later a more grown up Vyvyan arrived at a hospital 

he now had glasses and was balding looking like an old man he was taken to a private room where Rick was quietly resting he was a lot more older than before he looked like he was in his 40s or 50s.

he looked at Rick for a moment

“It’s time for you to pass over and me soon probably”

He shrugged,

Vyvyan then took out a ring and put it onto Rick’s frail finger

As he was given the device to transport him and Rick back to Soho

After a few days, he did the same 

It was a sunny day in early March when in Soho Vyvyan parked his car near the seaside as he ran over to rick who was folding his hands happily,

“Miss me?”

Vyvyan  was lost for words “Of course I bloody missed you Happy Birthday” he shouted as he aggressively hugged Rick in an embrace as they ran along the seaside chasing each other like old times.

The End~

(dedicated to the late great pan global phenomenon,Lord of Misrule and Peoples Poet) Rik Mayall (1958-2014) (The Future is as bright as you make it, Love is the answer~!)

[aurora077]

Sirius is not on drugs, chapter 1

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12720187/1/Sirius-is-not-on-drugs

Lupin Residence. Tuesday 16th July, 4:00 pm

*bringg... bringg..... bringgg*

“Remus dear could you get that?” Mrs. Lupin called from the kitchen.

“Sure mum,” he replied, sticking a clean chocolate wrapper in his book to mark the place.

“Lupin residence, Remus speaking,” he answered. There was silence. “Hello?” he said. Still more silence. He was slightly peeved that he’d been pulled away from his book for this and was about to hang up when a cough came from the other side.

“H..hi Remus,” came a voice. He didn’t recognise the owner though the voice was vaguely familiar.

“Hello. May I ask who is speaking?” he replied.

“Um. It’s Sirius. Sirius Black. Not sure if you remember me, we met at Lily’s 17th birthday party?” ­­the man replied hesitantly.

“Ah, right. Sirius. What can I do for you,” Remus replied, wondering if Lily gave some random guy his number. But he knew Lily wasn’t like that, she was a good friend, she would have asked him first. Besides, if she did, why would she give his house phone number rather than his cell? And that was almost a year ago too, why was he calling now? The name Sirius was familiar, but he couldn’t really recall more than that. ­­

Remus’s mind was working on overdrive but he was brought out of his thoughts by something sounding suspiciously like a pig squeal in the background.

A nervous chuckle came over the receiver as Sirius stammered out, “S..sorry about that, my, uh, my cat is sick.”

“Your cat?” Remus said incredulously.

“Well, technically my brother’s cat. Stupid Kreacher,” he muttered, “Dogs are way better. Like mine.”

Had he just called the cat a stupid creature? Remus frowned, “Now that’s not nice. It can’t help being sick, no need to call it a stupid creature, even if you do like your dog better.”

“Oh, no not creature, but Kreacher. That’s his name. And he really is stupid, I mean, he hates me. Nobody with any sense hates me! I’m wonderful!” Sirius announced.

“Right,” Remus deadpanned, “Well Mr. Wonderful, you still haven’t informed me of your purpose for calling.”

Sirius laughed nervously again, “About that...” He trailed off.

Remus sighed, “Yes?”

“What do you think about unicorns?” Sirius said abruptly, his manner changing from nervous to slightly manic sounding.

“Unicorns???” Remus, was utterly confused, “I guess unicorns are okay?”

“Great! Glad you think so! Now what do you think about werewolves?” Sirius said, his pitch rising slightly.

“Werewolves?? They’re dangerous,” Remus replied, not knowing why he was going along with this weird conversation.

“What? Werewolves are not dangerous! They’re awesome!” ranted Sirius.

“I mean, I guess they can be both?” replied a puzzled Remus.

“You’re darn right they can!” said Sirius enthusiastically.

“Now what does this have to do with your purpose for calling?” Remus asked, amused but still waiting on an answer.

Sirius coughed, “Well you see, there’s this play.”

“A play? You’re putting on a play?” Remus enquired. Remus loved plays. Maybe Lily had sent Sirius to him for advice. He did know a lot about plays though he hadn’t ever written one.

“Ye...I mean NO. I’m uh writing! That’s right, I’m writing a play,” he said, sounding pleased with himself.

“Well that’s a noble goal. Does it have a name yet?” Remus said, slightly intrigued.

“Um....yes, it’s called.....uh... Unicorneo and Werewolfette!” he proclaimed.

Before Remus could say anything he heard what sounded like violent wheezing/choking.

“Damn cat! Shoo!” Sirius said, sounding irritated.

“Um, Sirius, are you sure your cat is okay? I mean it’s starting to sound really bad, maybe you should take it to the vet?” Remus said, concerned.

“No no, it’s just uh, coughing up a hairball,” Sirius said, brushing away his concerns.

“Uh, okay then,” Remus replied, starting to feel that this conversation was entirely too strange.

“Just ignore the cat and everything shall be fine young grasshopper,” Sirius said sagely.

“Riiiiight. So, about Unicorneo and Werewolfette...” Remus started.

“Yes! As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by the idiotic cat,” he hissed cat like it was the gravest insult, “My play is going to be amazing.” Remus could practically see him dramatically turning his nose up, even though he hadn’t the faintest idea what Sirius looked like.

“I’m sure it is,” Remus drawled, “Romeo and Juliet, magical beast style, should be interesting.”

Sirius gasped, affronted, “Romeo and Juliette?? You insult me my dear Remus!”

“Is that not what it’s based on?” Remus asked.

“Why certainly not! I would never copy old Will! This is 100% Sirius Black material,” he stated, sniffing in what he presumed was a dignified manner.

“I see. And what is the play about then?” Remus said, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

“It’s about...uh...a bank robbery! Yes, a bank robbery that goes wrong when Werewolfette stops to buy a steak with the stolen money two days later,” Sirius said, the manic edge returning to his voice as he started to ramble on, “Unicorneo is the cop that catches her, but ends up falling in love with her when she bites him for trying to take away her steak. They go on an epic adventure cross country with a hamburger loving hippogriff. Finally Dracula, the police chief, catches them and kills Unicorneo for his treason against the Fairy Queen by stabbing him in the neck with his fangs and drinking all his blood, leaving Werewolfette so depressed she buys poison from a rat called Wormtail and eats it and dies in the arms of the dead Unicorneo.” Sirius, who had said all of this in one breath, was now breathing heavily.

Remus was speechless. His jaw had dropped steadily lower during Sirius’s impassioned rant about his play.

“Remus? You still there?” Sirius asked after a few moments of silence.

Remus let out a strangled ‘yes’. He didn’t know how to respond to that. It was certainly...something. In the end he collected himself and just ended up saying, “I hate to break it to you buddy but, that sounds pretty much like an interpretation of Romeo and Juliette.”

“No it can’t be!” Sirius gasped dramatically, “Tell me how!”

“Uh two people on opposite sides of the law who should be enemies end up falling in love and then dying in each other’s arms. Not exactly Romeo and Juliette but the inspiration can be seen if you squint,” he said, “Plus....the name is a dead giveaway really.”

“Nooooooooooo!” Sirius groaned, “My life’s work! Ruined! I shall write nevermore! Goodbye Unicorneo! Goodbye Werewolfette! You shall be banished to the veil of no return!”

Sirius, Remus thought, would make a good actor.

“Now is that really necessary?” Remus said, trying to calm down his dramatic conversation partner, “It sounds....interesting. You could still publish it as a reinterpretation.” Who was he to judge if the dude had an active imagination?

“I shall not! It’s a disgrace! It’s only fit for the bin now my Loopy friend,” Sirius wailed.

“Loopy?” Remus said, befuddled.

“Yes, Loony Loopy Lupin. It has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?” Sirius said, with surprising cheer for someone who’d just been wailing about his life’s work being destroyed.

“Um, we shall have to agree to disagree,” Remus remarked lightly.

“Fine. But I’m telling you, it’s genius!” he could imagine Sirius’s grin.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Remus sighed.

“I think you mean, whatever floats my goat,” Sirius said jovially.

“Your goat?” he said, wondering if he’d heard wrong. Remus felt that his eyebrows would be permanently stuck in his hairline by the time this conversation was over.

“Yes, my goat,” Sirius said, “His name is Prongs.” Sirius grunted suddenly.  

“Are you okay? What happened?” Remus asked, worried, but also wondering how many pets Sirius owned.

“I’m fine,” Sirius sounded winded, “I just stubbed my toe.”

“Right...your toe...” Remus said, starting to suspect something was off about Sirius.

“Yes, my toe. So, Remus old buddy old pal, how’s it going?” Sirius said, deflecting any more talk about his toe.

“How is what going?” Remus said.

“You. How are you?” Sirius asked.

“I’m...starting to question my sanity,” he mumbled.

“Oh no but you mustn’t! You’re just sane as I am! Sanity is like the moon. It’s always up there in the sky reflecting sunlight for us mere mortals to have light in the darkness of the night. And like the moon, sanity guides us through the confusing darkness of our minds,” Sirius said, stroking his non-existent beard contemplatively. Then suddenly, snapping his fingers, he expounded, “I know! We can call you Moony. It fits you so well. You’re the moon of my life! Sane to my in! Water to my goat!”

“I take it back,” Remus said quickly, “I’m starting to question your sanity.”

On her way out of the kitchen, Mrs. Lupin spotted Remus still on the phone. “Oh hey honey didn’t realise you’d still be on the phone, must be that girlfriend of yours, Lily was it?” she said, moving to the dining room before he could reply.

Remus rolled his eyes and called after her “No mum, it’s not Lily.” He didn’t bother explaining to her for the millionth time that he and Lily were just friends, she’d think what she liked anyway. To be fair to her he did exclusively hang out with Lily. She wasn’t just his good friend, she was his only friend. Well, that didn’t sound pathetic at all.

Remus heard a loud yelp over the phone, which drew his mind back to the conversation.

“Oh sorry, ignore that. That’s my dog Snuffles. He doesn’t get along very well with Kreacher,” Sirius said sheepishly.

“Well such is the way with cats and dogs,” said Remus, though he didn’t really know since he’d never had any pets.

“Indeed it is, though Snuffles is right not to like that disease ridden cat,” Sirius grumbled.

Remus stifled a laugh at Sirius’s irritation, glancing at the clock as he did so. It was 5 pm already. Where had the time gone? He had never spent so long on the phone before.

“Anyway,” he said, turning his attention back to the phone, “I think you should go break up your pets before they kill one another. That yelp sounded painful. Besides, I have to go now, it’s time for dinner.” He had thoroughly wasted the past hour on a random, if amusing, conversation with Sirius, whose original purpose for calling he still wasn’t quite clear on.

“What, already???” Sirius replied, aghast. He was actually enjoying the conversation, having forgotten why he originally called Remus in the first place.

He thought about it and asked hesitantly, “Well...can I call back tomorrow then?”

“Sure I guess, same time,” Remus said, shrugging to himself. Not like he had much else to do.

“Yes! Okay tomorrow then,” said Sirius. And Remus shook his head, wondering what he’d gotten himself into. There was only one thing left to say though, before he hung up. He smirked slightly.

“Oh and Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“Lay off the drugs.”

 Potter Residence. Tuesday 16th July, 5:00 pm

There was an almost deafening silence. Then it was broken by twin bursts of laughter.

Sirius just stared dumbfounded at the phone while James and Peter rolled around on the living room floor.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA we should make Lupin a marauder for that. Pads you should see the look on your face,” James said, wiping away a tear of mirth.

Sirius threw a pillow that hit James squarely in the face, skewing his glasses.

“Hey!” James cried.

“What? You were being a git. And they are called throw pillows after all, Mrs. P. said so herself,” Sirius huffed.

“Now James, don’t be mean to Sirius can’t you see he needs some support,” Peter said, holding back a grin.

“Yeah, see James. That’s what real friends do. They support you!” Sirius said.

“Exactly. Now Sirius, would you like some Aloe Vera?” Peter asked, the picture of concern.

“Aloe Vera? Why would I need Aloe Vera?” Sirius asked confused.

Peter couldn’t control his grin this time, “Because you just got burned.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N by Remus not James XD)

Reviews give Sirius motivation to stay away from drugs.

Sirius: “Hey, I am not on drugs!”

Remus: “Suuuure you aren’t Padfoot.”

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #13: Ouroboros

To call the lighting in the room ambient would be generous. In fact, one could barely see a thing. Still, the dim light did the job, and lit in slight relief a pair of ominous figures shrouded in oversized black hoodies, their faces hidden further by Japanese kitsune masks. They were flanked by a couple more looming forms and the room was laced with wisps of smoke. A wild cackle issued from the speaker of someone’s phone. The smaller figure leaned forward, the hollow eyes of the fox-like false visage disconcerting in the dim illumination. One hand tossed a faintly glinting round object up and down- a gold spray painted apple with the word kallisti carved into one side. They speak, and the voice carries a very familiar thick New York accent. “Oh, Eris, exalted lady of chaos, we have failed you for far too long. The mayhem you have sent us to unleash on this pathetic world remains penned up, the storm still confined to its teacup.” The larger individual folded their arms over their chest but their head slumped in resignation. The voice was also familiar, a dry masculine tone with just a sliver of sarcasm in it. “We are very sorry.” “Yes, we beg your forgiveness! We throw ourselves prostate at your feet! I beg you not to smite us, oh divine smiter!” The General of Chaos clasped a hand on his leader’s shoulder. He whispered ‘prostrate’before continuing. “Not before our golden opportunity surely.” “Yes! We have been put before the Tag Team Champions themselves, those vile, dastardly villains known as NSFW. Surely the pinnacle of the tag division will make a fine appeasing sacrifice for our omnipresent chaotic mistress. Of course, we haven’t managed to beat… more or less anyone, but I swear by the greatest force of discord in the universe we will this time!” The Disciple began to laugh raucously before his second in command interjected with a query. “You mean the Chaos emeralds?” The smaller masked figure held their hands up, one still clutching the golden apple, and tossed their head back, letting out what could either be a long, malicious laugh or a scream. “Victory shall be ours!” “I hope.” “I mean, we’re due, aren’t we? If we keep up this level of performance, Eris will be most displeased. She is probably super hella displeased already. If we keep failing her she may turn her wrath on us. Can you imagine? We would be doomed to never win another match as long as we… oh.” The tall man shook his head disappointedly. “Oh, no. Not her wrath.” “Fear not, my brother! We have a distinct advantage over those flimsy paper champions. Look at them. With their heart. And dedication. And… ugh. Feelings. Can you believe how much those nincompoops actually care about each other, as well as their sycophantic fans? It’s almost as if they don’t believe the world is just a discordant dog-eat-dog pit.” “We don't need fanfare. Or acclaim. Or much of anything - except to know chaos will pervade this wretched company by our hands.” “Yes. EWC will know the true meaning of Discordia as we swap their toothpaste tubes with foot cream, apply IcyHot to everyone’s jockstraps, and turn the doorknobs around the wrong way so anyone trying to open them will be mildly inconvenienced!” Letting out another peal of maniacal laughter, the smaller person looked back to the camera. “Mark our words. By the grace of our Lady of delirium, the tag team titles will be ours! We will melt them down in an offering to her and reforge them into… I don’t know, apple shaped bling chains or something.” Both fox-faced figures leaned closer together, and spoke in unison. “All hail Eris! All hail Discordia!” There was a lingering pause, and the smaller figure spoke again. “That about cover it, you think?” “Yes.” The light suddenly clicked on proper, revealing the truth of their surroundings- a trainer’s room somewhere in the Tokyo Dome. The other figures were nothing but training dummies, and the spooky wisps of smoke were courtesy of a fog machine. Hoods are pushed back and the masks are lifted away, and revealed are NSFW. “We were making a point just then. More on that in a second. First, a note about last week. That… was fuckin’ expected. We knew that for better or worse, that match wasn’t gonna end clean. Sanders has gone full dark side, and that seems to mean he’s forgotten how to fight a fucking match by himself. Well, with a tag partner in this case. You guys are smart, you know what I mean.” John shrugged. “Collateral Damage...” He paused to correct himself. “America’s Most Hated will flounder like every group that has promised to wreak havoc. They’ll turn on each other like animals when they come to the realization that their only purpose to placate Dominic Sanders’ ego. Speaking of havoc.” “Don’t get me wrong. I love me some chaos. Nothing better than taking the status quo and stirring that shit up a bit. I mean, that’s kinda what we’re about. But as we just illustrated, you guys are being all fuckin’ weird and lame about it. I mean, you don’t get to go around calling yourselves purveyors of mayhem or whatever if you don’t, y’know, win. At all.” “Now to be fair, Xander started off the right way but since then …” John held up his hand in the universal 'okay' symbol. “Nothing. And especially where it counts in the tag team division. So on one hand, it is perplexing that you were afforded this championship bout when all of this blustering about sowing the seeds of discord has amounted to being Georgie Nickles’ personal punching bag. On the other hand, we can’t blame management. Someone has to step up. Sometimes we hate being proven wrong but it looks like when your convictions are as shallow as having fun, overcoming adversity is too much to handle. That has always been our perspective.” Mike sighed, shifting her kitsune mask to the side of her forehead. “I mean, I don’t feel that different. Maybe it’s the way we’ve handled things lately and maybe we’ve been a smidge oversensitive and took all this bad mojo out on people who maybe didn’t deserve it. Trying to work on that. But by and large? We’ve always fucking been like this. If you haven’t noticed that we shred people who have it coming, you haven’t been paying any goddamn attention.” “And we’ve been paying attention to Legion…” “...as we mentioned, they’re not the best tag team but hey, we’re not above giving longshots a chance. We did it for those pervy dudes.” Mike paused and rubbed her chin in a pondering motion. “Hold up, isn’t Legion those other dudes? Xavier Reid and his parents? Nah, that’s the Trinity. Oh no, I was right, they were the Trinity AND Legion.” “Legion is one man.” “No, Legion is lots of guys. One fucking dude calling himself Legion makes no goddamn sense.” “I know but he’s one man in this case. Xander Azula.” “OH FUCK HOLD UP I KNOW THIS. Legion is a bunch of fucking demon guys inhabiting one pig.” John looked at her, eyebrows raised. “That’s … part of it. But it’s just a man. And his partner. We talked about this.” “Oh yeah. That dude who looks like Duggan let himself go. Which is fucking saying something. Vag Doll.” John looked directly at the camera. “I’m sorry.” Back at Mike. “Vagn Dahl.” “Vagn Dahl? That ain’t a name, that’s a bad Scrabble hand.” “Anyway. Xander and Vagn. They comprise the Eternal Circle. I think there are others but who knows.” “The internal circle? Like, what, the large fuckin’ intestine?” “Eternal.” “Oh. Well, that’s just fuckin’ redundant, like sayin’ free gratis. A circle IS eternal, it just keeps goin fuckin’ around like a goddamn Ouroboros.” “Like this conversation. But Mike is right. All of that is fair game. The gloominess. The toothless threats. The cult like mentality. It’s laughable. It’s the stuff of fiction. Basing your existence on a petty goddess that was more menace than deity. Or…” He retrieved a paperback from his hoodie pocket. “Or a contradictory rambling diatribe about the illusionary tenants of order and disorder and that there is always chaos. Well, now I can see why you two can’t seem to put it together.” John let Principia Discordia drop to the floor with an emphatic thud. “Xander Azula is one more misstep away from claiming that this is all meaningless and that we’ll all be consumed by the void.” “You really are a philosophy snob, Church. Just saying.” Mike gave a fond snicker, before clearing her throat. “The thing is, it’s easy to give in to thinking shit like that when things don’t go your way. When things get tough, sure, you can throw your hands up, go ‘fuck it’, start giving the world the stink eye, and forgo bathing and shit. And maybe, like I mentioned, we were kind of skirting the edge of that kind of thinking. But. This is fucking Japan. If you can’t find something fun or cute or spiritually awakening here? I feel fucking sorry for you. Besides.” Her eyes lit up, barely disguising her glee. “We’re gonna be having this show in a giant fucking amusement park in England. You can be gloomy as shit if you want, but we’re gonna ride rollercoasters and eat funnel cake before the show. After everything we’ve been through we deserve all the fun we can get.” “But when that bell rings…” Mike cracked her knuckles. “...we’re not gonna get doom and gloom, but we are gonna get fucking serious. See, there’s nothing wrong with playing and having fun. But you gotta know when to lace your boots up and drop the goofy shit for a while.” “And that includes you two. Azula. Dahl. Save your breath. We’ve already did your part for you. Show up. Show us the Eternal Circle is more than just talk.” “Or just a circle jerk.” “We have faced numerous teams that claimed they are on our level. And as predicted, they couldn’t stay together in the hardest of times. Mike and I have been through more collectively than any of you could ever imagine. But that doesn’t define us. We’ve said that since day one. We are here to take what is ours. That means the tag team championships. But also staking claim to being the greatest tag team in this business today. And that means taking on all comers. No matter their perceived lack of credibility. And showing them that we are who we say we are.” “The Number-one Squad in the Fucking World.” Mike picked up the golden painted apple she’d set aside, twiddling it in her fingers like an oversized marble. She glanced at it a bit and scoffed. “No gimmicks or goddesses necessary. Just perfect synch and hard fucking work. Nothing magical or divine got us here. We got us here. And if you wanna knock us off our perch and take these belts from us, you better come at us with more than a fringe religion based around the mother of all trolls.” Setting the apple down on the ground again, Mike rose to her feet, her partner following suit. The fog machine is clicked off, and so are most of the lights. The shot lingered on the abandoned apple for a moment until a single white Reebok sneaker entered the frame, slowly stepping on and crushing the gilded fruit to crumbled pulpy pieces, the picture going completely dark after.