#anyway sorry I needed to be self indulgent about my fic for a second so this was the perfect excuse

[lizardthelizard]

ouattober2023 Day 9 - OC: Lampwick

"I think sometimes, for people like you and me, the deck is always gonna be stacked against us."

fake/real (aka, Chaos in the Season 6 Wish Realm)

Back when Pinocchio was still a puppet, he befriended a boy called Lampwick. One night, the two of them ran away from home, joining a handful of other restless children in their village, and sailing to the shores of Pleasure Island. The island, however, was not what it appeared to be. Pinocchio narrowly missed the fate of being transformed into a donkey. Lampwick and the others were not so lucky.

Lampwick didn't stay a donkey, though. Rescued from the island by Pan, he eventually found his way back to the Enchanted Forest again, and re-met with an older -more human- Pinocchio, instantly rekindling an old friendship.

Years later the two drifted apart again. Pinocchio did his best to rid himself of the bad habits he'd fallen into over the years and Lampwick refused to follow the same path. However, the pair crossed paths once more after Pinocchio helped Princess Emma to leave the realm, and he and finds himself turning to Lampwick for help when there are resulting consequences stemming from this action.

Name: Romeo Lampwick

Nicknames: Wick, Lamp

Height: 6'2

Age: 40 (+ unspecified years in Neverland)

Home: (Wish Realm equivalents of): The Enchanted Forest, Neverland, Pleasure Island

Gets on well with: Eugene, Ned Land, Tinker Bell

Doesn't get on with: The Blue Fairy, Robin Hood, Felix, Jiminy

'It's complicated': Pinocchio, Baelfire, Bart, Peter Pan

Face claim: Beppe Fiorello

anyway:

[dustofthedailylife]

A Stellar Birthday

-> Masterlist || → Taglist

Pairings: Jing Yuan, Dan Heng x (gn!) Reader

Summary: It's your birthday, yet there is something that is tainting your mood. He manages to change that, however.

Tags: Fluff, hints of angst at first (but it's really harmless), SFW, kissing, confessions, Jing Yuan being a scheming master, Dan Heng being bad with feelings

A/N: Second self-indulgent birthday fic! This time for HSR. Hope you enjoy :3

JING YUAN

“Hey.” Your employer briefly knocks at the door of your office to make you aware of his presence before walking up to your desk.

“Hello, sir. Anything the matter?” You inquired carefully, because somehow your gut feeling told you that he was about to tell you something you wouldn’t like.

“Yes. I came to tell you that the vacation day you entered for tomorrow… Unfortunately, you won’t be able to take it anymore.”

“Wh-what? Why?” You ask exasperated. You had booked that day off months in advance because you and Jing Yuan wanted to spend your birthday together.

“I know this is really short notice, but Mei came to my office earlier and it’s her birthday tomorrow. Surely you don’t mind coming to work tomorrow so someone else can celebrate their birthday, right? We’d do the same for you.” 

Your boss tapped your desk twice before turning around again to leave, not even waiting for your reply.

The knot in your throat became tighter and tighter and all you wanted was to yell after him that it was your birthday as well tomorrow. Yet, somehow you didn’t have it in you to correct him, also because you could feel that you would burst into tears the moment you opened your mouth again.

You bit back a sob as you could feel the burning sensation in your eyes and some tears welled up. You tried to calm yourself by repeatedly telling yourself that it couldn’t be helped and that your birthday was just another day of the year anyway. No need to make a big deal about it. You could always spend time with Jing Yuan on another day as well. Right?

You learned your lesson and will just explicitly mention that you will take time off for your birthday next year, something that you had failed to do this year and that had caused this situation in the first place. Your boss could’ve checked your employee card and would’ve seen that it was your birthday as well, but he, too, had a lot on his plate and it couldn’t be helped anymore.

Once you were back home from work you slammed the door shut behind you and quickly took out your phone to open the chat between you and Jing Yuan.

‘Need to cancel our plans tomorrow. I’m sorry. Let’s do something on another day.’ 

You typed and hit send faster than you were able to process before turning your phone to silent mode and throwing it between the pillows of your sofa.

The frustrations of the day began to wash over you all at once at that moment and you could feel the lump in your throat grow to a size that made it hard to breathe. And no matter how much you tried to swallow it down, the tears that started to spill were inevitable. You were angry, frustrated, and just wanted to yell at everything and everyone. Because once again you felt invisible. Like no one in the world cared about your feelings and all you ever had to do was to accommodate everyone else. You hated it and you hated that the feeling was so awfully familiar.

You don’t even know how long you had been crying when the sudden ring of your doorbell pulled you out of the hole of self-pity you had dug for yourself. 

You quickly wiped the tears out of your eyes and checked your face in the mirror beside the door. Your puffy, red eyes would betray that you had been crying to whoever was standing in front of the door right away.

So, you contemplated whether it was a good idea to open at all or if you should simply act like you weren’t at home. Because you didn’t really want to see anyone in this state either. Or, god forbid, have them ask if everything was alright. Because, frankly, nothing was alright right now.

“I know you’re there. Open up.”

The familiar voice rang through the door causing you to perk up. Jing Yuan sounded worried. You assumed that he had probably tried to message or call you and you didn’t pick up because you had set your phone to silent.

Your hand wandered in the direction of the doorknob, which you hesitantly rested it on, still unsure whether to open or to play dead.

“Please… let me in.” He pleaded in a way that almost made your heart shatter. So, with much hesitancy, you decided to open the door.

You immediately saw Jing Yuan’s brows furrow when he looked at your face. Pushing past you inside, he closed the door and immediately took you in his embrace.

“Tell me what happened.” He urged sympathetically, gently stroking your cheeks with his thumb.

Under sobs, you began recalling the events of the day, ending it with a full-on crying session by the moment you stopped talking again. You seriously wondered if he even understood anything you were trying to tell because of how much you had started sobbing throughout it.

He hugged you tightly, wiping away your tears once again, and reassuring you that everything would be alright. At the moment you didn’t quite see how, but he always remained right, so you simply nodded against his chest.

Once you had calmed down a bit he briefly excused himself, reassuring you that he would be right back with something that would cheer you up. And not even forty minutes later he was back with two paper bags filled with your favorite street foods and two cups of Immortal’s Delight.

No matter what, he always knew what he needed to do. While you got some plates and chopsticks out of the kitchen you suddenly heard the familiar ringtone of your phone coming out of the living room.

Confused you walked over to where you had thrown it between the pillows. You could’ve sworn you had put it on silent earlier, so why was it ringing now? 

You fished your phone out and checked the brightly illuminated screen.

Boss.

Why was he calling now? By the Aeons, you sure as hell had enough of him today already.

“Hello?” You picked up questioningly.

“A-ah. It’s good t-that I reach you. Uhm– actually I-I wanted to to tell you that you don’t need to come to work tomorrow. You get your day off. M-my bad. Heh.” He was stammering and sounded more nervous than an alerted Warp Trotter.

“Uh…okay. Thank you.” You paused, walking over to the kitchen, holding your phone to one ear, glaring daggers at Jing Yuan who was happily chewing away at some gyoza and questioningly raising an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah. Uhm… e-enjoy your birthday tomorrow. Oh, and I-I happened to check our yearly employee evaluation and I’m happy to in-inform you that you’re getting a raise. Come to my office on Friday. O-Okay… bye.”

You didn’t even manage to get a word in before he hung up again. One thing was certain though, something smelled awfully fishy here, and it wasn’t the food Jing Yuan had brought in earlier.

“Who was that?” He asked innocently despite knowing full well who had just called.

“What did you do?” You asked accusingly, crossing your arms over your chest at which he just raised an eyebrow.

“Me? I didn’t do anything.” He acted completely clueless but the twitch of the corner of his lips betrayed the truth.

You knew the influence he had aboard the Luofu. He was the General of the Cloud Knights after all. Never did you expect him to use that influence for such matters, however.

“So… does this mean I can stay the night and the plan to go out tomorrow is back on the table?”

This man was unbelievable.

DAN HENG

“Happy Birthday!” The Astral Express Crew gratulated you in unison.

Himeko placed the cake they got for you on the table in front of you while March readied herself to snap a picture. Mr. Yang stood by and watched with crossed arms and a smile on his face. And Pom-Pom was attempting to admonish everyone to not get any burn holes in or crumbs on the red leather bench.

March began counting down from three waiting for the perfect moment to snap a picture of you blowing out the candles. Followed by claps and more birthday wishes from everyone once they were extinguished.

Well, everyone aside from Dan Heng.

He was silently sitting in an armchair away from everyone simply typing and scrolling away on his phone. He hadn’t even looked up once for hours now, let alone engaged in any group activities.

You told yourself you wouldn’t let it sour your mood, it was your birthday after all. So if he wanted to brood, let him brood. 

However, when you tried to hand him a plate with a piece of cake and he just declined the offer with the excuse of not being hungry right now, not even daring to look at you, you couldn’t help but wonder what was up with him.

As you sat back together with the others you occasionally found yourself stealing glances at Dan Heng to see if you could read anything on his face. But it stayed the same. Expressionless and completely unreadable. 

Eventually, after you came back from getting yourself and Mr. Yang a cup of coffee, you found the chair he had sat on all evening empty.

Was something wrong? Did he have a grudge against you?

It didn’t go unnoticed by the others either that you grew quieter and quieter as the evening progressed.

March was the first one to address the elephant in the room.

“It bothers you that Dan Heng didn’t join, right?” And she couldn’t have hit the nail more on the head even if she tried.

You hummed in agreement, taking another sip from your coffee. You looked back to the empty chair for a brief moment, while a thousand questions popped into your head once more.

Ever since the Crew had come back from the Luofu he had been more quiet than usual. He barely even spoke a word with you and kept locking himself up in his room for days on end. It would be a lie if you said it didn’t bother you. Because with every day that passed you wondered more and more why he was acting so differently.

“Don’t worry so much. He’s probably just grumpy about something. He’ll be back to normal in no time.” March reassured with an infectious smile, slinging her arms around you in a quick hug. “Now, we should do something about this gloomy mood. It’s your birthday! What do you want to do? More cake? Dancing? Anything?”

In all honesty, you didn’t really feel like partying as long as Dan Heng’s weird behavior was at the back of your mind constantly. Because no matter what you were doing, you kept thinking about it sooner or later again anyway.

“Did… something happen on the Luofu?” You finally decided to ask. 

March seemed to be taken by surprise by your question before immediately and hectically waving off that anything had happened. Unfortunately for her, she could be read like an open book. So, you immediately knew she was lying. But why?

What happened on the Luofu?

You nodded, accepting that you wouldn’t get any answers from her tonight, and excused yourself, telling everyone that you would be heading to bed now. 

On the way to your room, you saw that Dan Heng’s door wasn’t closed entirely and a streak of light from the inside illuminated the hallway of the cart. You couldn’t help but steal a glance inside, but you found the room completely empty.

Wondering where he went you walked straight past your room, and through some other carts until you eventually reached the observatory and the very last cart.

And this is also where you found him. 

He was sitting next to the telescope at the desk, writing something down. When you knocked on the doorframe to make him aware of your presence, he perked his head up to look at you. Yet somehow he immediately almost looked alert.

“What are you doing here?” His voice sounded panicked, almost accusatory.

“I came looking for you when I saw your room was empty–” You began to explain, confused about the hostility in the air. 

“Did you go in?” He interrupted frantically, jumping up from his chair with a shocked look in his beautiful turquoise eyes.

“I–what? No!” You exclaimed in disbelief. “What is going on with you?”

“It’s nothing.” He once again waved it off, as usual. And his demeanor left more questions than answers every time he did just that.

“Nothing? As in nothing you want to tell me? Nothing why you keep avoiding me? Nothing why you keep diverting the topic whenever I try to ask about the Luofu mission?” You huffed in frustration. You could feel anger that stemmed from weeks of confusion and unanswered questions well up in the pit of your stomach, making you ball your fists at your sides.

Dan Heng exhaled heavily, diverting his gaze to the ground, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

“Just… talk to me.” You demanded pleadingly.

He took a few steps in your direction, breathing heavily. And before you knew it the air around him began to glow in such a bright blue light, that you had to shield your eyes in order to not get blinded. Sparkles began to form, making the room ooze with magic you had no idea existed. 

When the light finally dimmed again, you lowered the hand you had held in front of your face. But what was in front of you exceeded even your wildest imaginations. Long, silky black hair that faded into dark blue cascaded down Dan Heng’s shoulders, crystalline horns had grown on his head, a translucent dragon tail had formed behind him, and icy blue, glowing eyes were staring right at you. 

You wanted to say something – ask so many questions that were burning at the back of your mind, but every word you were desperate to speak died on your tongue. You were too stunned to speak.

He nodded, dropping his eyes, and pressed his lips into a thin line with a defeated look on his face.

“There. This is why I didn’t tell you… why I’ve been acting the way I did. Because I was scared you would think I’m–”

“Beautiful.” You muttered under your breath faster than your brain could process that you just said it out loud.

“What?” He asked in disbelief.

“You look… beautiful.” You almost choked on your words, still in disbelief over what you just said. You had never acted on your feelings for Dan Heng because you didn’t know if he felt the same for you and in fear of making things awkward. But there was no going back from it now. 

“Like… I truly mean i–mphh”

Before you knew it he had pulled you in by your waist, uniting your lips with an intensity that knocked the air out of your lungs and made you feel lightheaded. 

“Oh god, I-I’m so sorry. I just– I didn’t mean to–” He stammered in panic immediately after breaking off the kiss and realizing what he had just done. Lifting his hand up to his lips shaking his head.

“Please do that again.” You immediately cut him off, pulling his hand away from his face and slinging your arms around his neck while pulling him closer. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest at this point and your face felt like it was burning up. 

You could smell the bitterness of the coffee he had been drinking all evening on his breath and the familiar scent of his aftershave. Because despite everything, he was still Dan Heng. Your Dan Heng. The one you had grown to love. And nothing was ever going to change that.

And with one last adoring look into your eyes, he pulled you in once more in a silent declaration of love.

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about HSR or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

[all-too-random]

We Don't Waste Food

Sanji Vinsmoke (OPLA) x reader

Sanji notices that you haven't been eating very much.

TW: Reader is implied to be in the process of recovering from an ED. The type/reasoning behind it has purposefully been left vague. Mentions of thr0wing up/feeling sick. Sanji wants to help but may do so in a way that not everyone finds helpful. Also he's kind of pushy in the beginning.

A/N: This is a very self indulgent fic based on my own struggles. If it is something you relate to and this helps, I am glad you found some comfort in it/sorry you relate. If you dont, please be kind anyway :) Also this is my first ever x reader fic in 7 years of writing fanfiction.

"I'm full," the sound glass scraping against wood rang throughout the dining cabin as you pushed your plate out of the way, glancing nervously at your lap, "Anyone who wants my leftovers can have them." Luffy reached across the table, already grabbing for the food on the plate. Sanji's hand reached it first, though, and the blonde chef made eye contact with you as he pushed the plate back to your spot. "Y/N, darling," he said. He was smiling, but his stare portrayed a more serious expression, "We don't waste food." You crossed your arms over your chest, your eyes meeting his blue ones, "I'm not trying to be wasteful, that's why I offered it up. I knew someone would want-" He cut you off, smile disappearing, "You need to eat it yourself. It's your favorite, I made it just for you." You nodded once, acknowledging the effort he put in, "And it was delicious. But now I'm full." There was a certain bitterness to your words, causing Sanji to hesitate. The rest of the crew looked on silently, exchanging nervous glances at one another as the scene played out. You barely paid them any notice, keeping your eyes locked on Sanji as you shoved yourself away from the table and stood up. "We don't waste food. So someone else can eat it, I'm not going to."

Your boots thudded against the wooden floor of the ship as you stomped away, suddenly feeling the need for fresh air. You didn't stop until you were at the edge of the deck. The wind whipped your hair around and you watched the sky turn orange against the clear water as the sun set on the horizon. Tears pricked at your eyes. They rolled over your cheeks despite your attempts to sniff them away, so you gave up. You were alone, anyway. No reason to hide your tears out here. They just didn't get it, you thought. Although it's not like you had ever tried explaining it to them before. You never meant to waste food. You just couldn't stop it. No matter how hungry you felt beforehand, your appetite seemed to wither the second food was in front of you. More than half a portion made you feel sick, and throwing your meals up into the sea felt worse than just offering it to someone who would it eat.

"Nice evening, isn't it madam?" You whipped your head around, quickly trying to wipe the tears from your face. Sanji stood several feet behind you, smiling once again, but still with a grim aire about him. "Yes, it is," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady as you turned back towards the ocean, "Very peaceful." You could hear the heels of the chef's shoes clicking against the wood until he appeared right next to you, resting his elbows on the edge of the ship. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him looking at you, studying your features. "I'm still not hungry," you told him, and you couldn't decide whether or not it was a lie. You were hungry, or at least, you should be. But you knew no more food would stay in your stomach for long. Sanji chuckled, dipping his head down, "Well, I gathered that much, love. I just can't figure out why. Only a banana for breakfast and nothing at lunch, by all means, you should be starving." You looked at him, eyebrows crinkled in confusion, "You know what I ate?" "I keep track," he says, shrugging his shoulders, "Helps me with my meal planning. I thought for sure you'd have a good dinner tonight, especially since I made something I knew you'd love." "I did love it," you admitted to him, sighing into the wind, "I just... don't eat much. It's hard." "Hard to eat?" He raised an eyebrow at you, "It shouldn't be, we have plenty of-" "Not like that," you cut him off, waving your hand through the air, "I know we have food, I just can never hold much of it. When I was younger, I forced myself not to eat... and I must have gotten good at it, because now I can't. And I hate it, because I get so hungry only to push food away, and I feel so wasteful." You could feel tears threatening to fall again, so you laughed, trying to act like there was nothing upsetting about the situation whatsoever. Sanji, however, did not laugh. He looked at you with sad eyes, which was even more intense since the wind was pushing his hair out of his face, meaning you could see both of them. It was quiet for a moment, with no noise but the waves lapping at the bottom ship. Then, the chef let out a sigh, opening his arms. You fell into him, burying your face into his pin-striped shirt. His strong arms immediately wrapped around you, his chin resting gently atop your head. "Thank you for telling me," he said quietly, placing a kiss against your hair, "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." "It's alright," you whispered back, allowing yourself to cry on him, "You didn't know." He squeezed you tighter, "Well, now that I do know, I'm still worried about you. The way you've been eating still isn't healthy. I'll start giving you smaller portions, so you don't have to feel wasteful. And when you're ready, I'll gradually give you more. Like baby steps. Can you agree to that, my dear?" Pain shot through the inside of your cheek as you bit down, thinking his words over. Recovery was hard, but Sanji was willing to help.... You nodded your head, accepting the offer, "Little, tiny baby steps." Sanji laughed softly, running his fingers through your hair, "Sure, little, tiny baby steps. Whatever it takes, love. Would dessert be a good start?" He raised an eyebrow at you, and you laughed, "Well, that depends... what kind of dessert?"

[corrieguards]

Confessions

Captain Rex x f!reader Summary: Fives not so accidentally lets the cat out the bag that the captain has a crush on you. Not quite knowing how to deal with this new information, you start avoiding Rex like the plague. He notices and decides to confront you about it. Word count: 2,6k T/W: none A/N: I am, and always will be, a sucker for soft!Rex so I hope you like this self-indulgent fic as much as I liked writing it <3. Also please enjoy the awkward Rex gif. He is too cute and needs to be shared as much as possible. my masterlist

Being assistant medic to the 501st meant you had a lot of dirt on a lot of troopers. The things these men were capable of coming out with when they were under even the lightest of meds never ceased to amaze you. It was like they lost their filter (not that the had much of one to begin with) and would just blurt out whatever came to their mind without a second thought.

You still remember when Tup had come to after being unconscious and admitted in a fit of giggles that you were “The prettiest girl he’d ever met”

Or that one time you’d had to stay overnight with Hardcase in the med bay after giving him some pretty strong pain meds. You’d spent your whole shift listening to him babble on about some girl who was apparently the love of his life and the one thing he couldn't live without. Later on when you were relaying the story to Kix you found out that he wasn’t talking about a girl at all, rather about his favourite DC-17 blaster that he insisted on carrying with him everywhere.

Anyway, the point was that you were used to having all these weird and random things thrown at you by the clones, so much so that you actually found yourself looking forward to hear what they were going to come out with this time. You were prepared for anything these men would throw at you. Or so you thought.

—

You were currently caring for Fives. He’d got knocked out by a detonator during the last mission, so as soon as you saw him start to open his eyes you rushed over to his side.

“Hey there trooper, how’re you feeling?”

He frowned up at you confused “Am I dead? Is this heaven?”

“Nope sorry Fives. You’re still very much alive” You chuckled “Just got a bit knocked up is all, but I’ll have you right in no time”

He groaned as he started to sit up “Are you sure? Could’ve sworn I was dead. You look like an angel right now”

Gently pressing on his shoulder you tried to get him to lay back down. He huffed but complied, letting you push him back and watching as you dipped a cloth in cold water, gently dabbing it on the gash that went from his temple to his jaw.

You talked to him as you worked, a gentle smile on your face “Trust you to almost die and then the first thing you do when you wake up is flirt with your medic. ”

“Oh no no. I wouldn’t dare flirt with the Captains' favorite medic”

He hissed when you pressed a little too hard on his wound. “Ow, what the hell-?

“What did you just say?”

He scowled up at you “I said ow-”

You shook your head at him “No no, before that. What did you say about Rex?”

“About you being his favourite medic?” he said frowning at you confused when you nodded in response

“Yeah, that”

“I thought it was obvious”

Now it was your turn to frown at him “What’s obvious?”

He lets out an incredulous laugh at your obliviousness, only making you more impatient “Fives, you better tell me what the hell you're talking about?”

“Oh come on, everybody knows the captains got a thing for the pretty little medic”

You freeze, eyes quickly dropping back to the cloth in your hand. “Don’t be ridiculous Fives” you mutter, pointedly going back to cleaning his wound.

He grabs your wrist to stop you, a disbelieving look on his face “Wait- Do you really not know?”

“Don’t mess with me, Fives.” you shake you hand free from his grasp “It’s not funny”

He looks taken aback by the coldness in your voice before a look of realisation crosses over his face. “You like him…” he whispers as if it’s the biggest secret in the galaxy

You blush slightly “No I don’t, I just- well I just-” you clear your throat, avoiding his eyes “I just respect him that's all.”

Fives lets out a chuckle “Bullshit. You like him!"

Shushing him quickly, you glance around at the other troopers in the med bay “Not so loud for kriff sake” you whisper at him harshly. This only makes him smile wider, pointing at your face and exclaiming loudly

“You do! You like Rex!”

You grab his finger angrily, shoving it back down “Ok fine I do. Now can you please shut up before the whole GAR finds out"

He smirks but settles down anyway "I knew it"

You scoffed, picking the cloth back up and wetting it again "Sure you did Fives"

"Did too" he replies smugly. You smile, shaking your head and getting back to work cleaning up his cut. After a few moments silence he breaks it again

"He likes you back y'know"

"Mhm I'm sure he does"

He sits up indignantly "It's true!"

"Fives…" you warn quietly

"I'm serious. He talks about you all the time when he's drunk. And he stares at you so often that it's actually kinda embarrassing"

You pulled back, staring into his eyes and searching for any hint that he's messing with you but were surprised to see him completely serious. A very rare sight for Fives.

Swallowing nervously you take in a shaky breath "Does he really like me?"

"Mhm he sure does. Tries to pretend he doesn't but we all know Rex can't keep a secret to save his life"

That gets a laugh out of you because it's so true. It's actually one of the things you love about Rex. The way he stutters and blushes anytime he tries to tell even the smallest of lies is something you find insanely cute and endearing.

You’d liked him for a long time, and who could blame you? This was Rex we were talking about. Handsome blond Captain Rex.

There was no chance of anything happening between you two. You’d accepted that and were content on just admiring him from a distance, occasionally sharing a few conversations, a couple glances from across the room. Never anything more.

But what Fives had just said lit a small flicker of hope in you. Hope was bad, very bad. Hope meant that you couldn't keep ignoring your little crush and pretending it didn't exist.

Hope meant you actually stood a chance.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts before you could get too carried away in your fantasy.

"It doesn't really matter, it's not like anything could happen between us anyway"

Fives gaze snapped to you "What are you talking about? You two would be so good together"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." you rolled your eyes at him

"Then what are you talking about?"

" I'm talking about what would happen if someone found out. Rex would be court-martialed Fives, you know what that means right?"

Fives open his mouth to answer you but you cut him off before he had a chance "This is his whole life Fives, I can't expect him to risk everything for me like that."

There was a moment's silence before Fives softly replied "Maybe he'd think you're worth the risk"

—

It had been a couple rotations since your interaction with Fives, and you had been trying desperately to avoid both him and the Captain, so far succeeding in both.

But as if he insisted on not leaving you alone, Fives voice kept echoing in your head. Repeating the same sentences over and over. Even though you tried to ignore it, it kept coming back and haunting you.

"Everybody knows the captains got a thing for the pretty little medic"

As if your thoughts had summoned him, the very same handsome captain you'd just been thinking about strolled through the mess hall door. His eyes doing a quick sweep of the room, giving you a double take upon seeing you and decidedly walking over to your table.

You quickly ducked your head down, panic beginning to rise in your chest. What if Fives had spoken to him? What if he'd told him about you silly little crush? What if-

Rex's shadow looming over you made you look up, eyes instantly locking with his and taking your breath away. Stars, those eyes.

"He stares at you so often that it's actually kinda embarrassing”

"Hey" his voice shook you from your thoughts "Haven't seen you around much lately"

"Yeah…" you chuckled nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear " Um Kix has been keeping me pretty busy the last couple days"

"Oh." He slipped into the seat across from you "Well if he's working you extra y'know I can always stop by and have a chat with him."

"No no" you shake your head quickly "It's fine. Hard work’s what I sign up for after all"

Rex looks at you doubtfully, taking in your tired eyes and dark circles "Are you sure? You look pretty tired"

"I'm fine Rex." You smiled reassuringly "Promise"

"Okay, if you say so… Y'know I'm actually kinda relieved. Thought you'd been avoiding me or something" he chuckled, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

You stiffened and quickly looked back down at the table. His smile flattered. "But you haven't… right?"

Getting ready to answer you took in a shaky breath " Um…" You stalled trying desperately to come up with some excuse but his worried gaze was making it hard to think of anything

Suddenly you're comm chimed, breaking the tension and making you both jump. You stood up quickly "Sorry Rex, I've gotta go. Duty calls"

He looked taken aback as you hurried towards the door.

"We'll catch up some other time" you said over your shoulder. You heard his voice calling your name, only prompting you to walk faster.

Making it out into the corridor you heard your name again, this time louder. The med bay was just around the corner, if you could just make it there before he caught you, you would be fine

Breaking into a soft jog, you panicked when you heard his own heavy footsteps matching your pace. They were much too close for your liking.

The door to the med bay was just a handful of strides away now. You could see it.. C'mon almost there, almost there…

You almost screamed when you felt a hand grab you wrist, halting you and pulling you around to face him.

“He talks about you all the time when he's drunk”

Rex must've seen the panicked look on your face because he quickly released your wrist and took a step back.

"Hey, hey what's going on? Did I do something wrong?" He was slightly out of breath from running after you

"No no of course not" you shook your head before adding quietly "I don't think you could ever do anything wrong"

"Then why are you running away from me meshla?"

The pet name made your stomach flip, taking in a sharp breath and hesitating from a beat before replying

"It's nothing Rex, don't worry"

"Of course I'm gonna worry," he scoffed. "Something is obviously bothering you."

When you didn't reply he sighed and gently took one of your hands in his, holding it loosely

"I just wanna know what I've done so I can fix it," he whispered. Looking up and seeing the hurt in his eyes brought tears to your own.

"He likes you back y'know"

"It's just… something Fives said the other day" you said, keeping your gaze down to hide your embarrassingly watery eyes.

But he saw them anyway, jaw clenching and a hand tightening it's hold on your own "What did he say to you?" he growled protectively "Because if he said something out of line-"

"No no it wasn't anything like that" you answered quickly. A look of relief passed over his face

"Good. But it still something that obviously upset you"

You swallowed nervously before responding "It was about you actually"

Rex stiffened "Me?"

“Tries to pretend he doesn't but we all know Rex can't keep a secret to save his life"

"Yeah…"

"Well what- what about me?"

" He was suggesting that maybe- that you might-"

Rex could see you were struggling to say whatever it was you needed to say so he took a step closer, leaning in towards you "Hey it's ok, you can tell me."

"Maybe he'd think you're worth the risk"

Squeezing your eyes shut, you somehow mustered up a tiny ounce of courage, letting it all out in a rush "He said that you had a crush on me"

Keeping your eyes shut, you heard Rex's breath hitch and felt his hands tighten their hold on your own. After a few moments silence you slowly peeked your eyes open, heart beating fast as you took in the man in front of you.

He looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Well… I- I don't really know what to say…"

Nodding you tried to hide your disappointment by looking down at your feet. Of course he didn't like you, how could you ever think he did

You bit your lip as tears began brimming in your eyes How could you be so fucking stupid and start to let yourself believe that Captain Rex could possibly like you, a lowly medic.

"It's ok" you whispered, blurry eyes focusing on the ships shiny floor "Don't worry I knew Fives was just messing with me"

That really broke Rex out of his trance " What do you mean?"

"I mean of course you don't actually like me, why would you?" You replied, laughing sadly.

Rex frowned, genuinely confused "What are you talking about?"

When you didn't answer Rex called your name softly, making you look up at him, his breath hitching when he saw your teary eyes

"Oh meshla come 'ere" he pulled you into his arms, your head nuzzling into his neck and his hands finding their home around your waist.

"Listen to me carefully" he whispered into your hair "don't you ever, ever say that again."

You smiled into his neck but he wasn't finished "Of course I like you meshla, have since the moment i met you. How could I not love you when you're so fucking perfect?"

He pulled back and you immediately looked down shyly, avoiding his gaze. Calling your name, he gently lifted your chin with the crook of his finger, making you look him in the eyes

"I want to be able to call you mine"

You could feel you carefully built walls slowly falling down at his confession. Every second you spent this close to Rex another piece of them crumbling.

"But… what if someone finds out Rex. What then? How much are you willing to risk for this?"

He lent in impossibly closer, foreheads touching and lips brushing against yours as he spoke

"For you? Everything"

The last stone in your wall tumbling down, you closed the gap between you, enclosing your lips with his. He sighed into your mouth kissing you back hard, months of bottled up feelings pouring into this one single kiss.

Your hands travelled over his chest, one sneaking up behind his neck and into his short buzzed hair. He growled appreciatively, his own hands already grabbing your waist and pulling you into him, clutching onto you like a man drowning.

Breathless you both pulled back just far enough to catch your breath. He chuckled, nuzzling his nose into yours as you smiled softly.

"I love you Rex"

Your confession lingered in the limited air between you, his eyes flickering down to your lips before he gave them a gentle peck

"Love you more, meshla"

----

tag-list: @mirshebs-meshla

join my tag-list

[wayfayrr]

So this is very much a self indulgent mini-fic, venting about some stuff that I've been dealing with recently <3 I'm working on requests and some other fics but I got told to post this to get it off of my chest anyway @cloudninetonine @angry-trashcan thanks for the confidence boost to be able to post this

“Hey, you’ve been sitting over here for a while, you feeling alright?”

“Just been thinking… I was part of some drama before I was uh brought here. It’s just, it’s just messed with me a bit I guess. I’ll be fine when we need to start moving again, don’t worry wars.”

After a brief second of fabric shuffling, he sits down and leans on me. It’s an oddly comforting feeling, different too like he’s bothered by something? What could’ve set him off so badly?

“Would you mind if I asked you about it? It’s clearly bothering you so, you should get it off of your chest and well, I’d just like to help you through this.”

“If you really want to know, it’s a little complicated though and while I can make a lot of it make sense to you I’ll have to leave a couple of things out.”

“Sounds like you’re willing to get it off of your chest though, so would you care to explain it to me honeybee?”

He’s being more persistent than usual too, have I really been looking so badly bothered by my thoughts? The worry does feel nice however, it feels more like talking to an old friend than anything which is wonderful seeing as I’ve not been able to reach them recently. I’ve just been stuck rereading old messages in a new context while my phone endlessly buffers to reach impossibly far servers.

“It’s… I’d been having issues with this person for a while… they used me more than anything, kept asking me for advice and making everything about them and brushed anything I or my other friends were trying to say off and sent things they really shouldn’t to people unwarrented… and then everything else.”

“Everything else? You don’t have to cut yourself off, with how you’ve been acting the rest feels like it’ll be worse anyway.”

“They just - someone connected some dots and pointed them out to me and I just… I’ve been going back over what they said and - and - and it made me think. They told me they associated my voice with a character they always got weird over, they kept fawning over my accent and how they’ve only ever heard it in fiction before, they gave me weird compliments when I was talking about things I did as a kid and that’s not even getting me started on how they treated my friends. I just… I feel so disgusted, seeing it in this light. Every bit of my skin just itches with disgust towards myself. Sorry I didn’t mean to share so much at once - I’m just tired. They didn’t even like me, it was like they only wanted me for where I’m from.”

The way he stilled sent a shiver down me, did I say to much? He might have not meant it when he said I could share… I mean theres no way he could’ve known… or does he think I’m simply overreacting? I’m probably just overreacting anyway.

My heart started beating again when he softened and pulled me to rest on him.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that all. They’re the one who is disgusting, not you, never you. I’ll speak to time, you should just rest for the rest of the day. I can lend you my scarf and you can just have a nap or I could ask wild to make your favourite food and you can just rest.”

I didn’t get a say before he’s already draped it over my shoulders; he’s leading me back over to the others and setting me down next to sky as he goes to speak with time. 

“Hmm? Did something happen, are you feeling alright dove?”

“Ah well, wars is going to ask time if we can stop for the day because I’m just dealing with some memories. I hope it won’t bother the others.”

“I doubt it, everyone’s been tense and tired recently. I know I have, I’ve been about dying for a rest. Would you care to join me too?”

Leaning back against him is all the response he needs as my eyes flutter closed, he’s so warm and comfortable. There are few people I’d prefer to rest next to. 

><><><><><><

“So then old man, I think that’s a good enough reason to settle for the day, don’t you?”

I know he’ll agree, asking him like this is simply a formality. After all, how could we continue when a member of the group is in such a state? On the verge of tears just from thinking about someone for a little bit too long. 

“You’ve never asked this for anyone else, but fine.” “Thank you Time, I’ll pay you back for this.”

“And Wars?”

“Hmm?”

“Go take your anger out on something, it’s not a good energy in the camp. Not if they’re so fragile right now. There’s apparently a standard bokoblin camp just a little south.”

He’s seen right through me then, but now I don’t need an alibi for when I come back.

[kitstoleurjob]

Day 6. Cuddles (lee!Mishima ler!Joker)

Mishima X Joker Meant to be read as romantic

Side Note: LET ME BE SELF INDULGENT please. Also I personally prefer Akira over Ren so I'll be referring to Joker as that. Anyways I'm Yuuki Mishima's #1 fan and uhhhh I push these two together like Barbie dolls. So uh Happy Tickletober!!!

THIS IS A SFW TICKLE FIC!!!

"Mishima, you've been on the Phansite all day. Come and just chill for a bit." Akira patted the spot next to him on his bed, motioning for Mishima to sit down. The other had been hunched over the stair railing for about an hour and a half now, filtering through comments on his forum.

"I will..! Just, give me a second. There's been these annoying trollers all day and they just won't quit it. Like seriously, give it a rest! Although they underestimate my devotion to the Phansite." Mishima explained, continuing to fuss over his forum. After a couple minutes though, he decided to take a short break and wandered over to Akira, flopping down on top of him instead of next on the bed, earning a small 'oof'.

"Oh- uh, this works too." Akira shrugged, readjusting him and his partner into a comfortable position. He wrapped his arms around Mishima's torso, along with intertwining their legs. "You comfy?"

"Mhm..." Mishima nodded, holding Akira's arms with his own. A few minutes later, however, he was back on his phone continuing his moderating duties, much to Akira's dismay.

"Really? Y'know I'm sure the Phansite can wait, Mishima... Take a break from it, just relax." Akira insisted, worried about his boyfriend. The teen had mentioned to him in passing about how he's been losing more and more sleep fretting over the community he made.

"I wish I could, really! And things are calming down again..! Just, give me a few more minutes, okay?" Mishima stressed, typing away hurriedly on his phone.

"No, Mishima. C'mon, you need a break, okay?" Akira pled, trying to nudge the phone out of Mishima's hand. In the process of doing this, however, he accidentally pressed into Mishima's stomach, causing the boy to giggle. "Oh~? I didn't know you were ticklish." He let out an amused huff.

"Ehe- well I didn't think that was something you needed to know..! Just- just uh- give me another minute, okay!" Mishima begged, trying to get out a couple more messages.

"Hmm..... nope! I say it's break time. The online world can wait." Akira winked, even though he knew Mishima couldn't see his face. Without any further notice, Akira pulled Mishima closer to him, who let out a small surprised squeak. He squeezed Mishima's sides, causing the other boy to let out what could probably classified as the cutest giggles on earth.

"Gah- nohohohohoho! Wahahahait!" Mishima shook his head wildly, trying to kick his legs out. His hands, however, were still gripped to his phone, shakily typing.

"Oh no no no~ Break time, love~" Akira gently pushed the phone out of Mishima's hand, it gently plopping to the floor. "There we go. Rest your eyes." He gave Mishima a small kiss on the forehead before resuming his attack.

"Ahahahahakira! Nahahaha! Ihihit tihihickles!" Mishima giggled, pushing himself against his boyfriend.

"Aww, I know it does~ Here, how about this? You stop worrying about the Phansite for the night, and I'll stop, m'kay?" Akira tried to persuade. Unfortunately he wasn't very successful, since Mishima was trying to reach down off the bed for his phone. "Well, you asked for it." He pulled a fake evil chuckle before drilling his thumbs into Mishima's hips.

"WhahahAHAHAHAT? NAHAHAHAH AHAHAKIRA! IHIHIHI'M SORRY! I'LL TAHAHAKE A BREHEAK JUHUST NOT THEHEHERE!" Mishima shrieked, bucking in Akira's hold. Thankfully for him, though, Akira's hands slowed down to a stop. He sucked in a couple breaths before flipping over, pressing his head against Akira's chest.

Akira rubbed Mishima's back as the other hummed contently. "It's already pretty late, y'know. You need me to walk you to the train station?" Akira asked, but he got no response. He looked down at Mishima to see the other teen fast asleep.

He chuckled, reaching over Mishima to grab his phone and plug it in before pulling a blanket over the two of them, drifting off to sleep.

[minigirl87]

I see you, I’ve always seen you with Steven Grant.

Steven Grant & FReader

I wrote this as pure self-indulgence as I've had a bad day and needed some steven comfort. Not proofread or edited, sorry. But I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to leave feedback 😊 I have the fanfiction bug now. This is my second fic. Please be gentle with me.

Summary:

Reader has had a bad day and is fed up, until Sweet Steven saves the day. Mentioning and appearance of Donna.

Word count: 688

No warnings, sfw. Pure fluff, kissing

You sat in the break room, tears ready to spill down your hot cheeks. You’d had enough now, as much as you loved the gallery, you had finally snapped with how you were treated, and to add insult to injury a child had thrown a cup of juice over you. The parents say between them with a laugh “it’s just the cleaner”.

Those words swimming through your already anxious mind. When the door opens to reveal Steven with a v, from the gift shop. Sweet Steven with the most heartwarming smile and stories of ancient Egypt. The only person you feel acknowledges you as a human. Who talks to before and after your shift when you both walk for the same bus.

He sits next to you, fumbling with his bag and getting his lunch. You fiddle with your fingers trying to occupy yourself, staring into space. “Hello Y/L, you OK, love?” And that was it the dam broke within you, “no I’m not, I’m sick of this” you reply frantically, wiping your eyes. “oh Love, what’s happened? Has Donna said something to you?” he reaches out to you but thinks twice and with draws. Steven understands how Donna is with you, only slightly lighter than how she treats him.

“ I want to leave, I’ve decided I’m walking out. I’m done with being treated like shit” you say as you suddenly stand up, feeling your uniform still damp and smelling sickly sweet of blackcurrants.

In a panic now, Steven clumsily stands up, knocking his chair over “what. No, you can do that love, please think about what you’ve just said. You take a few calming breathes as Steven reaches for some tissues sitting in a unit, grabbing a handful and giving you them. Your hand gently rubs up against his as you take them.

You sit back down with a glass of water. “ I saw what happened earlier with the.. eh “ he points to the stain on your front. You half smile at him, he smiles back, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and his beautiful chocolate curls bounce lightly. “ it doesn’t matter I’m just a cleaner. That’s what they said”. Stevens face turns sour at this, you continued “ no one sees me anyway, as long as everything clean, no one cares do they” you can feel tears welling up again that’s until “I see you love”

You look at him, his dark eyes shining with sincerity. “Steven, thank you. I know you always acknowl” He cuts you off “ “I see you. I’ve always seen you love” And suddenly, a rush of serenity flows over you. “Steven, you really mean that? Steven reaches for your hands and ever so gently takes them in yours. “ Yes, love. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special but I never knew how to tell you”.

“oh Steven love, I feel the same way about you” you smile, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand. “can I kiss you please love?” he asks, eyes never leaving yours. “yes please love” As you both lean into each other, noses brushing together as you entwine, he tastes of mint and smells like grapefruit. Gently Steven pulls away and cups you chin “my beautiful girl” to which your reply “my handsome boy”.

“Finally” you both turn to see Donna staring “your both 5 minutes late back. I’m not paying you to snog. Get back to work. Oh, and Y/N remember you are important to the team and won’t treated that way again” as she turned on her heels, chewing her gum.

“She does have a heart” You laugh as you both get up. “so dinner after we finish, love? I’ll get you back here” Steven says, leaning in for another kiss. “looking forward to it already love” as you both have a quick peck.

“Stevie, Y/N. Move it now” Donna practically shouts. You both hear her, moving quickly and have a quiet giggle. As you look forward to being seen by the one you love.

@melodygatesauthor @my-secret-shame @campingwiththecharmings @welcometostayingawake @missscarlettangel @missdictatorme @steven-grants-world @jake-g-lockley

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Alright Mod Goldmary. You said you'd be fine with this, so here I am, super indulgent AUs in hand: The main one I've been procrastinating working on for years now is The Rose of Belhalla, a Sleeping Beauty AU for FE4 Gen 1. The premise is that Cigyun confided how Victor was abusing her to Kurth, leading to a series of events ending in Victor offing himself (like in canon) and Kurth marrying Cigyun. Cigyun ends up dying in childbirth (sorry). In this Jugdral, it's common to invite the family's patron dragon to bless the first holy blooded child, so Kurth and Azmur throw a grand party and invite Naga. Just as she's about to bestow her blessing on Deirdre, Manfroy shows up and gives her a curse from Loptous himself: She's to die after pricking her finger on a rose's thorn. Naga then modifies the curse so that Deirdre will fall asleep instead of die, and her true love (I wonder who that could be) will wake her with a kiss. Deirdre is sent to live with her grandmother for protection. When she's about twelve or thirteen, she starts having dreams in which she meets another kid named Sigurd. Years later, they make a chance meeting, and after an attack from Sandima, Deirdre learns she is a princess and is taken back to Belhalla.

I actually meant to update the fic, uh, well, three years ago. But between getting a part time job and a bachelors degree as well as ADHD and stress has basically combined into a procrastination smoothie for me. I also realized that the original plot I had was super convoluted. I'm still trying to work that part out. But Deirdre is going to get to explore what it means to be a princess, as well as make friends with Edain, Lex, Tailitu, and Azelle. Arvis gets to scheme but still be genuine to his new sister. Sigurd gets to be Sigurd. And everyone gets to go to a ball at the end that definitely won't end up almost being a death trap. Once it's over, there's still a few loose ends. There's the Crisis in Agustria, Quan's severely needed vibe check, and Edain finding Brigid. I'd like to do some follow ups for those someday, but I don't know if they'll happen.

I've got some more ideas for AUs I wanna write. One of them would be an Eliwood/Ninian retelling of the Little Mermaid. Ninian and Nils would be half mer instead of half dragon, and they'd know Nergal was their father since they're with him. Ninian would save Eliwood while he and his crew are escaping from the Dread Isle. She knows he and his friends are her father's targets, so she makes a deal with Sonia. In exchange for her voice, she gets legs-- but only until the end of the summer. Sonia must sense Ninian has a crush because she adds a caveat: If she can make Eliwood fall in love with her by the deadline, she gets the ability to go back and forth between mer and human. Now, I don't know why Sonia would go behind Nergal's back like that, but that's a problem for later. Maybe he's in on it? I dunno.

Then there's the Phantom of the Opera FE4 AU, which is pretty self explanatory, as well as maybe a Seliph/Tine Cinderella AU that takes place years after the Sleeping Beauty AU. Though that would mean something has to happen to Azelle and Tailitu, so I don't know if I want to! Recently I got ideas for crossovers between games as well: Lucina and the kids time traveling too far back and ending up in the second holy war, and the First Gen of FE4 somehow ending up in Fodlan for those awesome Arvis and Edie interactions. If I ever get to writing my original story, these might not happen. I'm not sure what the legal stance on published authors publishing fanfics is, but who knows. Anyways, if you want any more updates, follow my writing blog @talesfromthespiritforest. I made it since my main is a big ol' untagged mess. It doesn't get updated often, though. Any feedback or suggestions are appreciated! :)

👀

[averagemizukikinnie]

"I'm sorry I deceived you, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you."

TW: HUGE warning for SH (it’s what the fic evolves about pretty much) , ED implication, cursing

a/n: it’s my first time in writing for a pair, i apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes in advance since english isn’t my first language!! there are also more notes at the end. this fanfic can also be interpreted as platonic

“23, 24, 25…”

. . .

The bigger the number got, the more aggressive Mizuki became, and the deeper the slashes cut. They don’t remember how their abdomen looked when it was clear, all they can see now is red and brown lines over it, some are even white.

“Ahahaha… I’m really filthy and disgusting, aren’t I? I ate more than I’m supposed to when I was at the diner with Ena, Mafuyu, and Kanade. I made a promise to tell Ena the truth of what I’ve been keeping inside long ago, yet I still avoid the topic whenever it’s brought up being the coward I am. I’m surprised they didn’t leave just like everyone did…” . While they were indulging themself in their self-deprecating self-talk, they went in deeper than intended. It wasn’t really a problem anyways, their parents were out of the city for work, their sister lives overseas, no one could stop them from getting so engrossed in their own mind.

. . .

1 hour later

*doorbell rings*

“Mom and Dad aren’t supposed to be back until next Tuesday, who could it be?”. They panicked for a split second when they remembered they were supposed to have a sleepover with Ena tonight. “Good thing I finished cleaning up just a moment ago” they mumbled to themselves right before they put up their usual grin, when had they gotten so good at switching their expression? That is a question that they’re unsure of what a right answer for it could be. They felt the burning sensation of the clothes brushing against their stomach —but thankfully for them—, they were already used to it, so hiding it was a piece of cake, they already hide so much anyways.

“Yaho!~ Woah you arrived just 3 minutes late, that’s a new record!! Did poor lil’ bro have to shake the entire room to wake you up?”

“I knew this would happen.”

Ena muttered under her breath. “Can’t you just say a normal greeting for once whenever we both meet up alone?”

“Waaaaaahhh!! You’re so mean!~”

Mizuki fake-cried as they dramatically had the back of their hand on their forehead.

“Yeah yeah whatever. Anyways, can we just actually get inside?”

They finally settled in Mizuki’s room. Ena felt so fascinated by the aesthetic of the room, it felt so… Mizuki. She could tell they poured their heart in making it to their liking. It might not be obvious from first glance for others, but for Ena it is.

As Ena’s eyes were hovering around, she noticed the torso near the mirror with an unfinished project on it that seemed like it collected some dust, she found it a little strange since she had this idea Mizuki is the type of person to get absorbed into whatever project they’re working on if it’s related to their passions. Ena recalled some of Mizuki’s rambles about clothes making on Nightcord, she secretly adored these rambles even if she knew nothing about that side of fashion herself; because she can hear Mizuki being so passionate and full of joy. If she ever admits it out loud she will never hear the end of it thanks to Mizuki’s teasing.

“Oi~ Earth to Ena— Does the princess need to sleep already?~”

“Huh?! First of all, why the hell are you calling me that?? Second of all, is zoning out for just a single moment a sign of sleep deprivation now?? Ugh this is going to be a really long night.” Mizuki couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Ena’s reaction, her reactions are one of the reasons they tease her more than other people.

. . .

Later on, they both decided they will play on Mizuki’s gaming console. It was kept up in Mizuki’s closet, they haven’t used it for some while. They bought it back in those times as a way to distract themselves even further from reality. It was so up high, Mizuki was wondering how on Earth they got it there before.

“Ah! I’m finally getting a grasp of it!” , just when they said that, they lost balance and fell on their back.

Ena immediately rushed to Mizuki to check if they’re fine, and help them get up if needed.

“Are you alright?? Did you get hurt? Do you need help getting up?”

“It’s ok I didn’t get hurt! I’m totally fi-“

Right when they started to get up, one of the console’s controllers fell on their abdomen, right where the fresh, deep, red scars are.

“Again?? Seriously what’s up with its location? Anyways are you ok? Again did you get hu-“

As Ena was saying that, she saw a dark red spot forming on Mizuki’s white shirt. Her face turned white when she realized what it was, it was blood.

“Mizuki, can you let me open the shirt to see the wound and clean it? Please? It would be terrible if it gets infected…”

“… No.”

“Why?… It would be difficult for you to get up and clean it up all by yourself.”

“The reason is not important… I can handle th— SHIT—“

“Mizuki please let me see it. It’s clearly hurting badly-“

“As I said, I can handle this.”

“You’re obviously lying. Whether you allow it or not, I have to check the wound and how bad it is.”

Mizuki grabbed Ena’s wrists with all the force they could gather, Ena struggled for a bit as she was letting herself go from their grasp, thankfully, she eventually managed to do so thanks to Mizuki’s state.

Ena finally lifted up their shirt, and what she saw was horrifying to say the least. Her face got devoid of any traces of curiosity just now just for it all to be replaced with horror, as if she saw a ghost. She saw all the variations of red, brown, and white contrasting against Mizuki’s light skin color, how there was some skin peeling around some scars, and most importantly, how fresh some of them were.

On the other hand, Mizuki wanted to escape from Ena’s gaze on their body as fast as possible, she saw what they thought was the most disgusting, filthy, and deformed part of themselves they ever showed to her. They thought she was going to abandon them for good, just like many people did. Everything Mizuki did in order to preserve their bond with Ena, it all seemed useless and futile now, just like they feared.

What snapped Mizuki out of their thoughts was Ena’s shaky breathing, they thought that this is it, that there’s now another person on the mental list of people they lost because of something about Mizuki.

“What the FUCK is wrong with you?!”

“You’re so fucking disgusting.”

“I never imagined someone this filthy exists, but here you are.”

Mizuki can already feel the words coming, they embraced themselves for it, it’s a matter of few seconds before they actually hear them… Or so they thought.

“… For how long have you been doing this?… I might not be the best at comforting, but why didn’t you tell me sooner? I- I just- I wish I realized this sooner. I’m so sorry for not being the person you needed. You were going through such a hard time without me knowing about it… I just-“

Mizuki didn’t expect this would be her reaction, they thought it will be the last time they ever talk, they thought this was going to be the end.

“I *sob* I’m so sorry… I can’t believe *sob* I didn’t know about this sooner…”

Ena grabbed both of Mizuki’s hands and gently kissed them, she then proceeded to wrap her arms around them and pull them into a tight hug. Mizuki froze in their place because of how astonished they were, they never thought of such outcome, not just did Ena not give the type of reaction they thought they were going to get, not just did she sound genuinely concerned, but she was also apologizing for not knowing better?? They never even dared to try dreaming of this yet here it is being actual reality.

Slowly, Mizuki started to wrap their arms around Ena, and they could feel tears forming in their eyes as well, they kept it inside for so long yet they couldn’t bring themselves to say a word out of fear of their past repeating itself again, they didn’t want to lose yet another person they want to stay with.

“No… please don’t say that to yourself it isn’t your fault in the slightest… Please don’t cry…”

“How the hell am I supposed to NOT cry?? Seeing you in pain hurts me and this time and this time it affected you physically and *sob* and to make matters even worse I couldn’t help you because of how oblivious I am…”

“Ena please… It’s my fault for being such a coward and not saying anything… I don’t want to see you cry because of me…”

Ena’s expression turned to a determined one, with tears still in her eyes, her nose still red, and her cheeks still puffy. She cupped Mizuki’s cheeks with both her hands and wiped the tears with her thumbs and said

“Mizuki, don’t say this about yourself. You are not a coward for not telling me about your struggles, l know it can be hard to open up to someone, no matter who that someone is. But whenever you feel like you’re struggling again and are close to doing this to yourself, come to me instead okay? You don’t have to force yourself to tell me you’re so close to doing it, just come to me and start the conversation like you normally do. Please.”

This was Mizuki’s last straw. Before they knew it they started sobbing uncontrollably with Ena having a firm, right grip on them. They were feeling so many emotions, they were keeping it inside for so long, they were so scared of Ena leaving them because of this secret of theirs they deemed “ugly and filthy” , they were in so much pain, they had so much on their mind, and most importantly, they were happy the what-it’s in their mind didn’t come true.

They were happy Ena didn’t reject this part of them. They want to stay with her as long as they can, even if their time together isn’t meant to last much longer, they hope it is.

Note: i am not implying that sh scars are something scary in ena’s reaction, the reason i wrote her reaction that way is because i wanted to interpret that she’s horrified because it’s happening to Mizuki. I hope you understand i meant no harm in the way i wrote her reaction, i struggle with sh myself.

[ticklishprincey]

✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. Hello my loveys! This is a little self-indulgent fic because I ship these two more than should be considered healthy, I'm also a homosexual and these two are one of the only canonically homosexual characters in a good book series that I grew up on so HELL YEAH also they are so well-written I just fawn over every scene with these goobers ◦•●◉✿ Warnings: Tickling, teasing, restraint (nothing crazy) ◦•●◉✿ Pairings: Lee!Nico & Ler!Will ✿◉●•◦𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢, 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚢𝚜◦•●◉✿ Nico entered the infirmary, tired and bruised. He probably shadow traveled again, was the first thought that came to Will's head when he rushed to tend to him.

"Nico, what happened? Are you here with me?" Will immediately spoke to Nico, trying to work out how conscious he actually was, since he looked like he was about to pass out.

"I'm here, I'm okay- Don't worry-" Nico swayed back and forth on his feet, gripping Will's shoulder for stability.

"Don't worry?” Will almost laughed at the boy's words, because no, he was worrying. It was his nature. "There's blood on you. In multiple places. You're not okay."

"If it helps, it's not my blood," He chuckled darkly, turning to a cough. "Most of it, anyway."

Will didn’t seem amused. At all. He was used to his boyfriend coming to the infirmary in various states of injury and illness, but that didn't mean he was ever happy about it.

"Take off your shirt,” he said, voice firm but not unkind. Normally he’d be blushing red at the words, but now all he was concerned about was tending to Nico.

"Take me to dinner first, damn." The raven-haired boy flashed a rare smile and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a large bruise forming around a cut just above his hip.

Will rolled his eyes. "You're insufferable."

He moved close to Nico, examining the injury as he carefully ran his fingers over it. "Looks bad. How much does it hurt?"

The son of Hades flinched slightly at the touch, biting his lip. "Not too bad, I just figured you'd want to see it and not discover it later and chew me out for it."

“You’re right, I do want to see it and I would have chewed you out for it,” Will confirmed. “But you’re lucky it actually doesn’t look too bad… still, it’s pretty large. We need to be careful of internal bleeding.”

He got to work, grabbing some supplies from a nearby cabinet. “Sit down and lean back for me.” Will instructed, gesturing to the bed.

Nico obliged, doing as he was told and sitting down on the bed, leaning back against the cot.

Will sat down beside him, gently placing a hand on his stomach to keep his upper body pinned in its current position. “This should only take a second,” he said, before using a cotton pad and some antiseptic to wipe some of the blood away, cleaning the area around the bruise. He paused for a moment to admire the view— his boyfriend’s torso and abs, on full display. If you asked Will a year ago whether he ever thought this would happen… gods, a year ago he probably didn’t even—

He shook away the thoughts and resumed tending to Nico. The boy flinched at the tender hands caring for his wound, a small whine slipping through his gritted teeth.

Will noticed this and immediately lightened his touch. “Sorry. Did that hurt?” he asked. He really didn’t want to cause Nico any more pain, even though it often came with the process.

“Nono, I’m fine.”

“If you're sure-” Will raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. He knew Nico tended to downplay his injuries and pain, something he had unfortunately started to learn the hard way. But he knew prying wouldn't help any. The child of Apollo poured some nectar over the wound, healing it almost instantly.

The boy let out a small sigh of relief, glancing down at the injury to see it completely healed. "All good?"

“All good,” Will confirmed, placing his hand back on Nico’s stomach because… why not? His thumb gently traced patterns over the other boy's ribs.

Shivers run down Nico's spine at the gentle touch as he instinctively grabs his lover's hand, a wobbly smile forming in replace of his normally stoic expression. "Babe-"

Will was very used to the effects his touch had on Nico at this point. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t use them to his advantage sometimes, though.

“Babe?” he chuckled. “I haven’t even done anything.”

"Don't." A few stray giggles bubble up and out of the smaller boy's mouth.

“Don’t?” Will smirked at Nico’s reaction, moving his free hand to his side and poking him with a few fingers, continuing to use it as an excuse to touch him. "Don't what, my love?"

"Yohou knohow whahat!" The son of darkness let out a small squeak, immediately covering his mouth in embarrassment. A light pink hue dusted his cheeks and the very tips of his ears.

Will found it adorable how flustered Nico got over this. The way his boyfriend tried and failed to hold back his giggles just because his stomach was being touched… he couldn’t help but find it amusing. 

“Sorry, love, I don’t think I do,” he continued, faking innocence in his voice as he started to gently tickle Nico’s side. "Why don't you tell me?"

The flustered boy beneath him pushed against the ever-moving hands and let a few giggles loose, as well as a small snort, before covering his mouth realizing the sound came from him. "Shihihit- Bahahabe!"

The healer laughed at Nico's reaction, feeling his heart flutter at the cute giggles. It was one of his favorite sounds on the planet. "So the all-powerful Nico di Angelo isn't tough and scary after all, huh?"

He switched spots, digging his fingers into the other boy's hips now. "He's just a ticklish dork!"

Nico squealed and squirmed beneath his lover, giggles freely pouring from his lips now. Snorts and squeaks mixed in with the bright and bubbly laughter, a stark contrast to what Will was used to - Not that anyone was complaining. "BAHAHABE NAHAHAT THEHERE!”

"Are you even trying to fight against me?" he asked, continuing the attack on his poor boyfriend, his fingers running up to the spot just below his ribs. "Or are you enjoying this too much?"

His giggles died down slightly, still pushing up against Will’s hands, his blush deepening at the teasing words from his lover. The truth was, he really didn't want it to stop, it was nice being able to let loose like this- But he wasn't about to tell Will that. He had a reputation to uphold, dammit.

"FUHUHUCK OFF!"

Yeah, that would save his reputation. Totally.

Will knew Nico well enough at this point to know what the truth behind his words really was- not that he minded. 

“Aww, but that’s mean,” he teased, pausing his tickling for a minute. He placed a quick kiss onto the other boy’s stomach, right next to his bellybutton, grinning at the reaction it got. “And after I was just taking such good care of you.” The sound that came out of Nico’s mouth was practically sinful. There was no possible way Will could be blamed for what he did next.

He leaned down to continue his kisses, moving further down to his boyfriend’s hips, his teeth gently grazing over the skin in between. “Stop trying to squirm away, love.”

Flustered giggling and squeaking followed the attack immediately, the normally deathly pale skin of his lee turning bright red. "BaAhAHabe!! CuhUHuhut ihit OUT!"

Will continued, not once listening to Nico’s pleas. In fact, if anything, they encouraged him. 

“Not until you admit that you actually enjoy this,” he mumbled against the other boy’s skin. He moved his fingers up to his ribs again and continued tickling him.

“NEHEVER!”

Will didn’t respond, determined to hear the words leave Nico’s mouth.

He continued his torturous combination of kisses, touching and nibbling along Nico’s hips and sides. His hands never paused, switching from spots on his sides to digging into his stomach to moving lower on his hips. High-pitched squeals and giggles poured freely from the younger demigod’s lips, his hands pushing at his lover’s head. "BAHAHABE!" The son of Apollo didn’t even mind the flailing hands against his head, letting them push him away just so he could come back.

“C’mon, just admit it, love. You’re enjoying this.” He stopped the nibbling at his hip to speak, before returning to the same spots and continuing the assault. “OKAY OKAY OKAY I LIHIHIKE IT JUHUST STAHAHAP!” Finally. Those were the words he had wanted to hear for a while. 

Will did stop his torture, though he didn’t move away from his boyfriend, staying positioned over him, his hands lingering over his hips. He couldn’t stop the grin that spread over his face. “See, wasn’t so hard to be honest, was it?” he said teasingly, still hovering over the flustered, blushing mess underneath him.

“Nohoho mohohore-”

Will let out a lighthearted chuckle, leaning back and admiring the view. 

Nico’s cheeks were red, his chest was heaving as he tried his best to catch his breath, his hair was completely disheveled, and… he looked perfect, as usual. 

“Don’t worry, love. No more…” he assured him, his hands massaging the sides of his hips. “For now, of course.”

✿◉●•◦𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍◦•●◉✿ ✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. GODDAMN THIS IS LONG also I had to rewrite this absolute piece of dog shit three times because Tumblr said nOoOoo and I am not okay- For all my regressor friends, little shameless self-promo, go check out my shop! The link is in my pinned post.

•.¸♡𝚝𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒 𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚖𝚊 𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚊 𝚝𝚎♡¸.•

[wanderinginksplot]

Refuge Chapter Four

Continued Delta Squad x fem!reader fic

Sorry for the late update, guys! I've had crazy writer's block, plus I'm trying to work through getting my sideblog un-shadowbanned. Anyway, here we go!

Word Count: 5,700

Warnings: Discussions of the Separatist occupation of Voubos, a condescending GAR officer, and more self-indulgent plot devices.

Previous | Next | Masterlist

---

A Proposal

Barriss Offee was a kind girl, if a little quiet. 

She had taken you directly to the Jedi’s clothing… supply. She hadn’t actually given the room a name, now that you thought about it, but she had brought you there first. You were grateful for that. The sonic shower on Delta Squad’s ship had removed most of the physical contaminants from your skin, hair, and clothing, but there was a film of river scum on everything and your tunic smelled like you had been wearing it for a month. 

Which, to be fair, wasn’t far from the truth. 

In any case, the Jedi Order had some spare clothing they let you have. The items were simple and well-worn, but your new leggings and tunic felt nothing short of luxurious. Barriss even managed to find a pair of soft boots for you.

When you were fully dressed once more, Barriss led you all to an expansive room filled with tables. A delicious smell came from a long table on one side of the room, but your guide seemed distracted by the group of people - made up largely of teenagers - calling greetings to her.

“There are only limited dishes at this time of the day,” Barriss explained, “but you have several options. Please, feel free to help yourselves. I will be nearby if you need anything.”

Delta Squad lingered uncomfortably, but you didn’t need a second invitation. You hadn’t eaten anything other than ration bars for two days, and they didn’t make the most appetizing meal. You had missed real food. 

Most of the dishes on the table were unfamiliar to you, but you made several choices based on scent and ended up with an overloaded plate before you knew it. Fighting the urge to take even more, you retrieved utensils and scurried off to a table while Delta Squad was still choosing their own meals. 

The tables were long and lined with benches of equal length. The Jedi scattered around the room seemed to have formed small groups. Most groups contained beings of similar ages, but there were more than a few pairs of older Jedi and younger students, or a single Jedi surrounded by a handful of fascinated younglings. You shook your head, still floored by the new realization that the Jedi were not only real, they believed you to be one of them.

No, not one of them, you internally edited a moment later. Your abilities weren’t strong enough to be those of a real Jedi. You just had some sort of connection to their mystical Force… That sounded strange and off-putting to you, but your instincts had saved your life more times than you could count, so you couldn’t be entirely ungrateful. At least, not until you learned what conclusions the Jedi Council had drawn during their private conversation.

The thought made you nervous enough that your stomach twisted, so you pushed it away and focused on your meal. You were halfway through the pile of food by the time anyone joined you: Boss and Sev on either side of you while Scorch and Fixer took spots across from you.

Your table manners were terrible, but you were too busy eating to worry about that. Some kind of spiced meat disappeared from your plate, followed by roasted vegetables. The spoonful of unidentifiable fluff you had taken turned out to be a type of starchy vegetable. You found that you didn't enjoy the long slices of herb-crusted fish. Whether that was because of the spices or because it reminded you of vomiting up river water and half-digested fish, you couldn't be sure, but you pushed it off to the side regardless.

When you finally slowed, Scorch was grinning at you. "You eat like a clone."

"My apologies," you said, wishing you had thought to grab a napkin only seconds before Sev handed you one.

"You don't need to apologize for that," Boss told you. "You must have needed it. What I do want to know is why you left the ship when we specifically told you not to."

You ducked your head, which gave you an excellent view of Fixer moving some of the starchy fluff from his plate to yours. You sent him a quick smile in thanks and turned to face Boss once more.

The intensity you had noted in him before was even more pronounced when you were sitting this close. You looked directly at him, then away again, unable to hold direct contact with those eyes.

"My mind was too loud," you admitted, shifting uncomfortably in your spot on the bench. "I couldn't stop thinking about Voubos and everything that happened there. I had to leave or have a breakdown. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't get you into any trouble."

Boss continued looking stern until he sighed and passed you the piece of bread from his plate. "Let us worry about the trouble. You had to get out. Did you find what you needed outside?"

"Not really," you admitted, then laughed. "Though when you're looking for a distraction, nothing beats being told your instincts are actually part of an ancient religious system."

"Do you think they're gonna give you a lightsaber?" Scorch asked. It was so far from the other questions on your mind that you could only stare blankly at him.

"The real question is whether she'll be tried for treason or if we'll be the only ones," Sev scoffed.

“They can’t!” you denied immediately. Your voice was too loud, and you choked on the bread you had been in the middle of eating. Sev thumped you between the shoulder blades a few times to help dislodge it. “I won’t let them.”

“You aren’t a general or a Jedi,” Fixer pointed out. “Technically, you aren’t even a citizen of the Republic. What could you do to stop them if they decided to court-martial us?”

“I’d…” you trailed off, having not really thought this far ahead. “I’d do something.”

Scorch snorted. “Leave the plotting to us, nattie. We’re better at it.”

Boss shook his head at him. “And you’re the worst of the whole squad, Scorch. Lay off.”

“Ouch, Boss,” Scorch tossed back, though his broad grin showed exactly how seriously he took his sergeant’s censure.

“What are you going to do if they do decide to accuse you of treason?” you asked, breathless with the idea alone. You were struggling under a surge of guilt at referring to it as their problem rather than one you had a share in, but Scorch had made a good point. Technically speaking… you were no one. “I mean, I would fight for you, but I don’t think it would mean very much. Oh! I could try to-”

“Easy, nattie,” Sev told you, half-laughing with his harsh voice. “I wasn’t being serious.”

“You-? Oh. So you… You’ll all be fine?” you summarized weakly.

“More or less,” Fixer replied with a shrug. “We might get a slap on the wrist for picking you up from Voubos, but we knew that was a risk.”

“You knew?” You frowned, suddenly realizing that you had done nothing but repeat things, ask questions, or ramble for the past few minutes. “I just don’t understand why you would take such a chance for… me.”

The men exchanged glances, something you pretended not to see while you paid attention to your nearly empty plate. 

“You helped us,” Boss told you. “And you did it when there was no benefit to you. You tried to keep us from danger on your world. And then the Seppies arrested you, burnt down your house, and were going to-”

He cut off what he was going to say and you glanced up at him curiously, that curiosity only deepening when you saw him shake his head. You glanced over at Sev and found a muscle dancing in his jaw, but he didn’t offer an explanation, either. 

“I never did find out exactly what they were planning to do with me,” you admitted carefully. “Execution, but… was there more?”

“Yes,” Sev said sharply.

“What was it?” you asked. “I don’t really know what more they would have done.”

“It’s better that way,” Fixer told you.

“Oh, but-”

“No, nattie,” Scorch said, cutting off your protests with a tone that was shockingly firm for someone who spent so much of his time making jokes. “Don’t ask.”

You closed your mouth and gave a small nod, but there was nowhere for the conversation to go after that. The table fell silent, and that silence stretched until Barriss reappeared just behind Fixer’s shoulder.

“The Council has not finished their deliberations yet,” she announced, “but I can show you some of the Temple if you would like.”

“Yes, please,” you agreed instantly, pushing yourself away from the table. 

When Delta Squad had gathered behind you, Barriss gave you all a measured look. “What exactly would you be interested in seeing? There are certain sections of the Temple to which you do not have access, but there are meditation rooms, study areas, extensive gardens…”

“We’re just following along, Commander,” Boss said, before you could ask what Delta Squad wanted to see. “Ask her.”

Barriss nodded thoughtfully, then took a step closer to you even as she lowered her voice. “If you’ll excuse me saying it, you seem… I believe you are off balance. I mean no offense, but you seem to need some peace. You may benefit from meditation.”

“I don’t really… meditate,” you admitted, feeling like that was an insensitive thing to say to a Jedi. You were struggling to think of them in a setting outside of a story, but they were often portrayed as defenders of the peace who meditated to retain or strengthen their connection to the Force.

“Perhaps now would be an ideal time to start.” Barriss’s smile was kind, even when faced with your hesitation. “Or we could find a later opportunity. Is there anything that puts your mind at ease? Any activity that allows you to concentrate while your mind rests?”

“Sewing,” you admitted, your face heating at her curious look. “Sorry, I just- The movements are simple and they just let me think about things when they don’t feel so… close.”

The silence that fell was thoughtful, but you still shifted your weight uneasily, worried you were making a bad impression. A presence stepping up just short of your shoulder gave you an odd sense of comfort.

“Do you have a room for sewing in this temple?” Sev asked from just behind you. “You’ve gotta fix these clothes somewhere.”

“We do,” Barriss agreed eventually. “It is far from the most impressive place, but I can show you if you wish. Are you sure you would not prefer to visit the library? Or the music room, perhaps? They are much more popular with outside guests.”

“I’d love to see the sewing room, myself,” Scorch told her, laying it on thick. “What about you, Fixer? Boss?”

“It would be interesting to see how much work goes into supporting the clothing needs for a group this large,” Fixer mused.

Boss took longer to reply, but he only said, “Whatever she wants.”

“Very well,” Barriss said, clearly doubtful but trying to hide it. “Follow me.”

—

Fixer hadn’t been lying; he did think it was interesting how the Jedi Order recycled clothing to meet the needs of such a large and diverse group of beings. Granted, a lot of it was probably born of necessity. The Jedi Order only gained financial support through donations from outside parties and a modest governmental stipend. The group didn’t earn credits in any way.

Not that they would be incapable of it, if they tried. The Jedi could farm out their skills to the highest bidder and be richer than anyone could dream. They would be persuasive lobbyists for the highest-paying politicians, frightful mercenaries for anyone rich enough to afford their skills, or unprecedentedly efficient thieves working on behalf of any organization who hired them. Hells, the natties on Coruscant would line up for blocks to have their future read by a real Jedi - anyone who could prove that their skills were more than just bravado and cleverly-concealed mechanisms.

But the Jedi did none of those things. 

Instead, they existed on what they had access to. They accepted donations of clothing from generous civilians and made sure that clothing lasted long enough to be used by generations of students from younglings to adults. The Jedi took their limited funds and used them to purchase what they couldn’t find or make for themselves, somehow finding enough spare to help anyone in the galaxy they could.

Even now, with most Jedi masters working as generals in the Grand Army of the Republic, they didn’t collect payment. They could charge insane amounts of credits to use their talents on behalf of the Republic, but they didn’t. For all the unfairness that the clones weren’t paid for their work, at least they knew that their superior officers weren’t collecting a paycheck, either.

Whether that made the Jedi more sympathetic or utter fools, Fixer couldn’t be sure.

Either way, he couldn’t help but appreciate the Jedi just for this room alone. You were happier than he had seen you since they had all been sitting in your comfortable home as you taught them all how to knit. Actually, you were happier than Fixer had ever seen a civvie, especially over something as trivial as a sewing room. But, considering you had lost your comfortable home so recently, you could use some happiness.

It didn’t hurt that your joy made your face glow. You weren’t beaming or even smiling more than usual, but there was a deep contentment that had settled over you as soon as the doors had opened to reveal the room. 

Scorch had given a slight exhale through his nose; that was as good as an exclamation of surprise for a clone trooper. Fixer privately agreed with his brother’s assessment. Commander Offee had been dismissive of the room, clearly of the opinion that they would find it underwhelming, but Fixer couldn’t see how. 

It was an expansive space, filled with small tables holding machines that whirred with flashing needles and rotating spools of thread. Light filtered down from the ceiling, though there were small lamps at every workstation that offered more direct illumination. A few beings, presumably Jedi, were scattered around the tables, working on garments. Some of them sewed in silence while others held soft conversations brightened by occasional laughter.

Overall, it was a peaceful setting. Even Fixer could concede that much.

Ahead of him, you were already speaking excitedly to Commander Offee: “Do you simply alter the clothes you have or do you create new ones?”

Commander Offee looked taken aback by the question but, fortunately, she gave a real answer. If she had been dismissive or mocking, Fixer would have been forced to say something that would have broken - or at least intensely bruised - the chain of command.

“We decide that on a case-by-case basis,” she explained. “Certain members of the Order come from a heritage that determines how they would dress, and their clothing needs are taken into consideration when deciding how to prepare clothing. Master Luminara and I are Mirialan. Our cultural background means that we need clothing that offers more coverage, along with additional cloth for our hoods and hair coverings. If items come from the Mirialan community - and they often do - they are offered to Mirialan Jedi before they are added to the bulk clothing storage. If pre-made items cannot be found or altered, we are allowed to create the necessary pieces from cloth that is donated to the Temple.”

“That makes sense,” you agreed easily. “Your cape is beautiful. Did you make it or was it donated to the Temple?”

“Neither,” Commander Offee admitted, running her fingers over the patterned fabric with a soft smile. “When I first became a padawan, one of my early assignments was to accompany Master Luminara to Begamore as she offered aid to a group of our people who had begun to steal from a nearby community. They were simply trying to support themselves in a place that had become hostile. The group accepted our aid, but we offered to help them build a better community so that their troubles would never be repeated.”

“Clever,” you murmured, your voice low and soft enough that the commander wasn’t pulled from her reverie.

“The assignment was meant to be a simple one, but we stayed for several months as we worked to create a place where our people were not only tolerated, but accepted.” The commander was still smiling, tattooed face alight with warmth. “Even in such a short span of time, my master and I watched as the community began to thrive. Eventually, we were called away, but one of the women gifted me this cape. She said I should have something from my own culture to carry with me.”

“That’s a lovely gesture,” you remarked.

“It was,” the Mirialan agreed. “We were summoned back to Coruscant to discuss the Secessionist Movement with Chancellor Palpatine, which of course, led shortly into the war. Master Luminara and I have been fighting ever since, but I have never forgotten the joy that stems from offering aid to those across the galaxy who need it.”

The air of peace that had been emanating from you dimmed slightly and Fixer frowned, but you only said, “With any luck, the war will end soon and the Jedi will be able to take up old practices again.”

“Yes, with luck, skill, and a great deal of training,” Commander Offee agreed. “But while we fight a war, there are still younglings who need clothing. This room remains as it ever was - filled with donations and Jedi working to shape them into necessary items. Would you like to see anything else in the Temple, or would you rather stay here?”

You hesitated, glancing around the room before admitting, “I would like to stay here for a little while. I don’t need any clothing, but I could help out if anyone needs it?”

Commander Offee smiled. “There is always a need for someone to mend tears in clothing. It is often torn from use or by excited younglings learning to augment their abilities with the Force. If that is truly what you wish to do, the repairs section is here.”

She led you to a section of the room with clothing piled high, small tags detailing what had been damaged. As you settled in to sew fastenings onto clothing or neatly close rips in fabric, Boss took a step toward Fixer.

Immediately, Fixer’s attention was on his sergeant. Boss didn’t keep him waiting long. “If it comes to an investigation about why we went to Voubos, I’m taking full responsibility.”

“Respectfully, no,” Fixer told him. 

Boss’s eyes narrowed, and Fixer couldn’t really blame him. He wasn’t typically one to argue, but this was something he didn’t intend to let slide… even if his sharp mind helped him guess exactly what Boss was going to try next.

“That’s an order, Fixer.” 

Fixer almost smiled despite himself. That had been exactly what he had expected from Boss. However, he managed to keep an even expression and a firm tone as he said, “No, sir. No disrespect meant, but I won’t let you take responsibility for something we all wanted. As your second-in-command, I could have argued and I didn’t. At best, you can claim half the punishment, but the other half belongs to me.”

“The other half of what?” Sev asked, dark eyes suspicious as he glanced between Boss and Fixer. “What’s going on?”

Scorch followed closely behind Sev. “Yeah, we wanna be included, too!” He tossed an arm around Sev’s shoulders.

Sev pushed Scorch’s arm away, making a disgusted sound. “I don’t want to be included in anything with you, Scorch.”

“Men,” Boss said tiredly. “Fixer and I were discussing how to handle the possibility that we’ll be held accountable for our side trip to Voubos. I want to take full responsibility. I’m the squad leader and the ranking officer. Any repercussions should be mine. I’ll make it an order if I need to.”

Sev snorted loudly and, for once, Fixer didn’t mind the display of insubordination. In fact, he agreed whole-heartedly that their Sergeant was being ridiculous. 

Scorch seemed to agree with Sev’s nonverbal dismissal. “Make it an order if it makes you feel better, Boss. We’ll just disregard that one, too. We’ve got the practice.”

Boss didn’t laugh… not that anyone had really expected him to. Instead, his jaw tightened and he tossed a firm look toward the rest of the squad. “There’s no reason for all of us to be reprimanded when I can take the blame.”

“Kark that,” Sev told him lowly. His rumbling voice held enough venom that it drew attention from the closest Jedi, along with Boss’s ire. In a concession clearly aimed toward placating the Jedi rather than the sergeant, Sev reluctantly tacked on, “Sir.”

“None of us agree, Boss,” Fixer summarized. “But maybe we should just see what happens. We don’t even know if the Jedi are going to go for formal discipline.”

“‘See what happens’?” Scorch repeated incredulously. “You feeling okay, Fixer? You always like to have a plan for everything, and a backup plan for that, and then a backup backup plan in case something goes wrong with the backup…”

Sev dug his elbow into Scorch’s ribs. “He’s helping us for once, di’kut. Don’t let your personality ruin it.”

Fixer glared at both of his brothers, but couldn’t deny that the comment had stung. Maybe he was tough on Scorch and Sev, but it was only because that was the best way he could find to keep them safe. Though he couldn’t deny that the ‘wait and see’ method was extremely out of character for him. He did prefer to plan everything down to the last detail. 

Now that it had been pointed out to him, though, Fixer couldn’t help but wonder about his own change of heart. What could have happened that changed a fundamental part of his personality so intensely?

Fixer’s eyes were wandering as his mind whirred, a common habit for him, but his gaze paused in its journey around the room when you glanced in his direction and offered a smile over the pair of pants you were mending. His lips quirked in response without his permission, and he stifled the emotion as a comlink beeped.

Commander Offee answered the comlink, listened intently to a conversation too quiet for Fixer to hear across such a long distance, then glanced over at Delta Squad. “The Council has asked us to return.”

—

You weren’t going to let the Jedi punish Delta Squad.

You had decided that much almost as soon as Sev had mentioned that repercussions were a possibility, but your determination had only grown as the squad insisted on going to see the sewing room. The men probably knew how to sew, if only for injuries or clothing emergencies out in the field. They might even enjoy it; you had never asked, so you couldn’t be sure. But you had a suspicion that none of them had a strong interest in sewing. In that case, they had pushed to visit the room purely so you could see it.

Even through the fear of being summoned in front of the Jedi Council once more, your heart warmed at their casual kindness to someone who could offer them nothing in return.

You frowned. On the subject of having nothing to offer them, you weren’t sure how you would keep the Jedi from punishing Delta Squad. You would have to come up with something, and you needed to come up with it soon. The doors of the Jedi Council chamber were already in sight.

When you entered, the buzzing preoccupation of worry was filling your mind, along with a distinct lack of galaxy-shattering epiphanies. And, as you stepped into the center of the room and glanced around at the gathered Jedi, it seemed you were out of time.

Earlier, many seats around the room had been empty, but most were now occupied. Even places that didn’t hold a physical occupant had been claimed by holoprojected beings. 

It was intimidating, standing in front of that group. The semicircle of chairs in front of you were filled with people watching you. None of them looked cruel or harsh, but all of them were serious, and your stomach twisted with nerves. 

Before your fear could shift into panic, you heard the shuffle of someone settling into place in the back of the room, along with the soft clearing of a throat. Boss was here, you could feel it. Even if the sergeant of Delta Squad wasn’t thrilled with your earlier disobedience, you had no doubt that he would speak on your behalf if the situation called for it. You weren’t alone. Your shoulders eased down slightly, and you finally felt as if you could take a full breath.

“Council members,” Master Unduli announced, drawing the attention of the seated figures. If any of them had been speaking before then, you were sure they would have stopped to pay attention, but they seemed to already be focused on the meeting. “We have gathered to discuss the woman Delta Squad found on Voubos. Or, rather, we have gathered to deliver the results of our discussion.”

The man from earlier, Master Windu, leveled his steady gaze at you. You did your best to return the look without fear. “Your Midichlorian levels are high. They are not high enough to grant you entrance into the Jedi Order, but we would like to offer you the chance to train with us.”

“What?” you gasped out inelegantly. “Why?”

Master Unduli spoke again. “There is a chance your Midichlorian levels will continue to climb. More importantly, you’ve been through a trauma. In a heightened state of emotional upheaval, there is a strong possibility that your abilities will appear in unexpected situations. We can help teach you control.”

“So…” you trailed uncertainly, trying desperately to gather your thoughts even as you spoke. “So I would stay here and learn how to control my… abilities?”

“Yes, in part,” an unfamiliar man with reddish hair agreed. “But we could also teach you to use your abilities to do certain things. From the point made by Padawan Offee, it seems as if you could aid the Republic with missions that require strategy and secrecy.”

“She is not a citizen of the Republic,” a male countered. “Why should she feel any real desire to aid us?”

“Actually,” you interrupted, glancing over your shoulder as subtly as you could. To your surprise, Boss wasn’t alone. The entirety of Delta Squad was standing in the back of the room. Scorch gave you a thumbs up and a wink. “I would like to help any way I can.”

“Why?” Master Yoda asked, not unkindly. 

You shrugged. “I lost my home and my planet, and nearly lost my life. We on Voubos were loyal to no one, but the planet fell to the Separatists anyway. I’ve learned a hard lesson about the price of neutrality - specifically, that there is no one to back you up. If it comes down to it, the Republic sent the men who saved my life. That already puts you ahead of the Separatists for me. I’ll help you because you’ve helped me. Simple.”

There was a beat of silence, a heavy one.

“As it happens,” a human male with a yellow stripe trailing across his nose said, “we’ve already come up with a way you can help the Republic. If you’re interested, of course.”

“I’m interested,” you assented immediately. 

A few Council members glanced around at each other in a way that put your nerves on-edge, but you waited for someone to speak. Master Windu was the first.

“We have a lot of missions that require what Master Kenobi said earlier: strategy and secrecy,” he told you. “We have a few Jedi who are gifted with those abilities, but they’re busy leading armies. Or, in some cases, busy with missions here on Coruscant.”

The man with the yellow tattoo met Master Windu’s eyes, inclining his head with a smirk. Windu didn’t smile back, but he gave a short nod before he finished, “We could train you in the basics of control and subterfuge, then send you out with squads who are working missions that line up with your abilities.”

“Squads-?” you started.

Master Unduli cut in. “I sense you share a bond with Delta Squad. They often go on missions that would require the abilities you’ve already shown. We could partner you with them for any secrecy-driven assignments. Is that something you would be interested in?”

“Train in the Temple, she should,” Master Yoda told her, his eyes traveling to you a moment later. “Much to learn, have you. Vicious and desperate, this war is, but no reason is that to send an inexperienced soldier out into the thick of a battle that belongs to us. Before you answer, think it over, you should. Whatever your answer… have a place with the Jedi, you will.”

“I- thank you,” you said after a moment. “I would like a day or two to think about everything.”

“In the meantime, you may stay here in the Temple,” Master Windu told you. “Padawan Offee  will show you to your temporary quarters. Delta Squad, you are dismissed.”

“One moment, General Windu,” someone interrupted. You glanced over to find a man wearing the gray uniform of a military officer. “There is an open investigation into Delta Squad’s conduct. I would like to collect this woman’s testimony before she disappears into the depths of this… temple.”

“Of course, Investigator Nylirk,” Master Yoda said, bowing his head slightly. “Proceed, you may.”

Nylirk turned his searching gaze on you. “I understand these men freed you from your home planet of Voubos. Is that correct?” 

You searched for a way to refute that, but came up with nothing. “Yes, it is.”

“Did they ever mention why they came to help you?” Nylirk asked. 

“They found out Voubos had fallen to the Separatists and were worried about my safety,” you reported. “If they hadn’t returned for me, I would have died.”

Nylirk seemed unimpressed. “Then they brought you back to a secure building run by the Grand Army of the Republic and let you wander the premises unsupervised. Did they ever offer an explanation for that?”

“No,” you said shortly, listening intently for any hint from Delta Squad about what you should say.

“I thought as much,” Nylirk said contemptuously. He directed his next comment over your shoulder, to Delta Squad. “There will be a full investigation into every part of this, then we will discuss disciplinary action.”

He had already started toward the four commandos by the time you found your voice. Maybe you wouldn’t have said anything, but the resignation on the men’s faces spurred you into action. “I made them do it!”

Nylirk paused, glancing back at you with disbelief written across his face. “You made these highly-trained men disobey orders and general security protocols?”

“Yes, I did,” you told him, stubbornly kicking your chin up.

Nylirk frowned. “Impossible.”

“Not impossible, Inspector,” Master Windu denied. “Improbable, perhaps, but she has demonstrated an impressive amount of skill in evading notice. Who is to say that she didn’t influence them? The Force can grow stronger in those who fear for their lives. Perhaps it grew strong enough for her to influence them.”

“Yes, that’s what happened,” you repeated firmly. “Sergeant Boss said earlier that it felt like he was being pulled to the spot I needed him to be. Who can really say when I started pulling? Maybe I wasn’t just directing them to a river, but to the specific planet.”

“And you’re admitting that you did this?” Nylirk asked.

You took a beat to give that question full consideration. “I didn’t do it on purpose, but I often thought about Delta Squad as I was being held captive by the droids. I… I wished they were there with me. Maybe that was enough to influence them, even over the distance between us. I’m new to this, you know.”

Scorch laughed at your joke and Fixer cracked a smile. Sev gave a small nod. But what really struck you was the look on Boss’s face. He looked… stricken by your admission. His dark eyes held more than a hint of guilt, and you hoped he would let it pass. There was no way he or Delta Squad could have helped you any more than they did. They had saved your life. As far as you were concerned, that was far more than you had expected.

“General Yoda,” Inspector Nylirk redirected. “Your best guess: is it possible that she influenced Delta Squad to come back and help her?”

Yoda sat quietly for a moment as your stomach twisted with nerves. If he didn’t back up your story, Delta Squad would be punished and there would be nothing you could do to stop it. You would have failed to uphold your promise to the commandos, and repaid them poorly for helping you.

When Yoda finally spoke, he said, “Mysterious, the Force is. Possible, it is, that she influenced them. Yes, very possible.”

Nylirk’s face twisted in displeasure. He bit out, “Very well. Report back to GAR headquarters for a full debrief and an update on your next mission.”

Barriss approached, gesturing toward the door of the Council’s chambers. “I’ll show you to an available room.”

You hesitated a moment. There wasn’t time for you to say goodbye to Delta Squad and you knew that, but you wanted to apologize for getting them in trouble. However, with Nylirk still watching you closely and the entire Jedi Council looking on, you had to content yourself with giving the ghost of a smile.

Delta Squad looked serious and coolly professional as they watched you leave with Barriss, but Boss gave you the barest hint of a nod, eyes warm. You fought back a smile. It was a drop in the lake you owed them, but you had done something right for these men.

---

Author's Note - Thanks for reading! Extra thanks to all of those who have said kind things or asked questions about this fic. It has been a HUGE motivating factor for continuing to write!

Have a great day! 😊

Taglist (join here): @theclonesdeservebetter @ladykatakuri @fordo-kixed-rex @bitchylittleredhead @itsagrimm @murderofcrows1 @quietplaceinthestars @dinsverdika @cawyden @merkitty49 @professional-yearner @xxxcertifiednerdxxx

If you should be tagged and you're not, I'm sorry! I temporarily don't have access to my taglist, but I'll fix it as soon as I can get into the taglist again!

[tiredcowpoke]

SNAP

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader    Request: “Hey hey 👋 been a big fan of your writing for a while and glad to see you back! (mostly interact from sideblog @cirillamylove​) would love to request an comfort fic for Arthur Morgan with a chronically stressed out reader just really going through it (I didn’t see any prompt lists so I hope this is ok)“ Warnings: Major warning for an anxiety/panic attack, there’s also some blood and injury, along with some angst but there’s comfort at least. Reader’s gender neutral (or I haven’t used any specifically gendered language) Note: Adopting a new formatting style from my other blogs, so that’s what’s up with the sudden change. Also, I based this around my experiences with panic disorder and anxiety, so it got a little self indulgent but I hope it’ll help/ring true to people with similar experiences. Anyway, sorry for the quiet, I hope you all enjoy.

Much like an old rope, each strain and pull only disconnected and frayed what little you had keeping you together. The quick upheaval of camps, the shootouts, the uncertainty of your future, they pulled that rope taut.

It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of the lifestyle you had found yourself in and what it did to people. You had seen some cruel bastards in your time, those who reveled in destruction and bloodshed. There were those who pretended to saddle a gray area, but they were particularly easy to see through once they had to weigh their actions against their words. You had also seen some more level-headed outlaws, those who were outcasts already and saw no other way, those who were just trying to survive. You liked to think you stood within the latter group, and yet the risks were the same, regardless of what reasons you had for doing what you do.

Yet, the fear and stress made a predator that you found yourself struggling to escape from sometimes.

You weren’t the only one experiencing that–you saw it crop up in other camp members when things were bad. Abigail’s harsh words and fussiness over Jack, Hosea’s clipped answers and shouts, Dutch’s recklessness and anger, Arthur’s biting sarcasm and remarks thrown about without a second thought to harm. Among others.

You liked to think you had some control over your emotions–you shared your concerns, sure, but you could tell when you were reaching the end of your rope. The ache in your teeth and jaw from clenching and grinding them in your sleep, or the way you felt like you had to be on point in everything you did. The uncertainty felt suffocating some days–how far were you supposed to run? How long would these changes last? How much money does the gang really have? How much do they really need?

‘Worrywort,’ ‘a worrier,’ you had heard some sort of variation of that comment when it came to you from time to time. You didn’t think it was always a bad thing–someone had to worry, right? Yet, the anxiety that came from that had such a strong grip at times that you weren’t sure how to function. Locking up in moments you really shouldn’t be, and the clumsiness that resulted from the racing in your head at points didn’t exactly go over well with some people.

It made you weary to go out on jobs, to earn money for the gang that you were pressured to do constantly, and you didn’t know if you would be able to collect yourself if you fell apart.

Yet, it was inevitable. That final tug came with the sharp pain of a bullet ripping through your shoulder, and something in you snapped.

The ringing in your ears almost drowned out the sound of your horse’s hooves against the ground, the shout of your name as you continued to just ride. You didn’t know exactly where you were going–the outskirts of the town had long since disappeared into the distance, the plains of the Heartlands stretching out before you, and it was hard to recognize anything. You had rode around the area more than enough to know where things were, yet everything looked the same to you at the moment.

You knew you were pushing your horse, the snorts and the starts of the agitated head throwing finally seemed to register in your mind as you turned to make your way up a small incline. A part of you just wanted to get up high–somewhere safe, where you could see things. Finally, you pulled your horse to a stop once you climbed to a flat surface overlooking part of the Heartlands.

“Sorry, sorry…” you muttered at your horse, who stomped and huffed as you tried to calm the poor beast. In your mind, you felt like you were miles away from the moment, but thankfully that ringing in your ears and the rushing in your head was slowing down.

You were aware of the sharp pain that was radiating from your shoulder, but at the moment you didn’t really care. Once you had managed to calm your horse, you unsteadily climbed down from your staddle and moved forward a couple steps to sit yourself down on a rock. Your head was pounding, your heart racing as if it had run there on foot.

The shakiness that usually only seized you at night was now making you almost quake, teeth chattering and your hands shaking. You just wanted it to stop–this whole thing was minor, there was a fight with some trigger happy assholes, and you weren’t sure if Arthur followed you out this far or if you had just outran him, but you didn’t want him to see you like this. He had complained to you a couple times about being the camp’s ‘workhorse’ and how he struggled to keep everything together, and you didn’t want him to have to see you while it felt like you were coming apart at the seams.

You just couldn’t quite get your breath under control, still gasping like you had just sprinted several miles and shaking like a leaf. It’ll pass, you reminded yourself, it always does–

“What’re you doin’ out here?” a familiar voice called out, making you jump.You almost threw yourself to your feet, yet you let out a shaky breath and managed to just cast the owner of the voice a sharp glance.

“Just–” you snapped, “Get out of here, Arthur.”

If agitation hadn’t gotten a hold of your tongue, you would have realized how sharp that demand was. Yet, in the moment, you didn’t feel like you were in control of anything. Arthur didn’t respond to that for a few moments–you had looked away from him, not wanting to see the look on his face. You didn’t want to see his expression when he realized just how much of a mess you really were.

Yet, while a more prideful part of you was wishing he would just walk off, you also wanted him there. In a way. You didn’t really know what you wanted from him at the moment.

“You’re…” Arthur started, sounding almost torn on what he wanted to do, himself, “You’re bleedin’ on yourself. I saw you get shot.”

…Right. Right, you had been shot. In your current state, somehow that had managed to slip into the back of your mind. With your attention now drawn back to it, you could feel the sharp sting of the wound in your shoulder. Gingerly, you reached up and under the edge of the shirt you wore, pulling your hand back to see some blood on your fingertips. Shit.

“You got somethin’ to close that up with?” Arthur asked.

You still didn’t want to look at him, but you didn’t have the energy to get up or chase him off, despite your previous words. You pointed toward your saddle bags with your uninjured arm.

“I have an old shirt. I can cut a sleeve or…something and use that until someone can close it up properly later.”

Again, Arthur didn’t reply, but you heard him walk off behind you toward where your horse was. Thankfully, the momentary distraction helped with that terrible tightness in your chest, as much as you still shivered as if you were sitting out in the cold. The Heartlands wasn’t terribly hot, but it certainly wasn’t freezing either.

Arthur returned with the shirt you had mentioned, sitting down on the rock beside you. There was some space between you, so he wasn’t crowding you but it was enough to notice him. You watched as he cut a part of the sleeve off, cutting it down the middle somewhat so it was long enough to wrap around your arm.

“Ain’t…” he started, putting the hunting knife away, “Ain’t good at much else, but I’ve closed up enough wounds in my time. Should be enough until you get back to camp.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, letting him take your arm and wrap the make-shift bandage around it.

You took in a small breath at the sting of him tightening it, but it was a bit of a relief to know that at least you wouldn’t have to worry about too much blood loss on top of everything.

“...I don’t know what happened,” you said after a few moments, Arthur releasing your arm once the bandage was secure. “I thought…I thought I was fine. I had more–more control, and then…”

“We almost got into a shootout,” Arthur commented, “It’s happened before. I don’t think it’s anythin’ that’ll come back to hurt us any.”

“I guess, but…in the moment I don’t think I really knew what was going on. Something in me just…snapped. I can’t–I don’t…I don’t feel in control of myself these days. The running, the moving, the jobs, the packing up and moving again…”

“I know what you mean,” Arthur said with a small nod, “Things…I dunno, they ain’t great but we’ve made it outta things like this before. We’ll do it again. Don’t got much choice on that.”

“I know Dutch always…” you exhaled heavily, pressing the heels of your palms against your eyes for a few moments, “He’s got his plans, but…I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“We…keep pushin’,” Arthur replied after a few moments, “That’s all we can do. We’ll get out the other side of this, we just have to keep goin’.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know,” Arthur said with a shake of his head, clasping his hands together in his lap as he looked down at his boots, “I ask myself that a lot, but…no use givin’ up now.”

You nodded lightly, accepting that answer. It didn’t exactly mean you accepted the situation, but it was the one you were in. You also knew that Arthur didn’t like it either, that he could understand your stress in a way. Perhaps not in exactly the same ways, but it was enough that his words were a little soothing. That it wasn’t just you. That you weren’t worrying for nothing.

With a sigh, you reached up and rubbed at your eyes, feeling the wetness that soaked your cheeks. A quick flash of embarrassment had you trying to hide your face somewhat, but you knew it was no use since he’d seen it all anyway.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” you admitted, wiping away the tears from your eyes and cheeks.

“Like what?”

You gestured vaguely to yourself with your good arm, letting out an almost humorless huff. “Me crying and shaking like a leaf, bleeding all over myself. I should have collected myself or…”

You trailed off, realizing how futile that statement was. You didn’t invite Arthur to come find you, he showed up on his own. You didn’t have time to ‘collect yourself’ and yet a part of you hated that you hadn’t.

“I don’t want you to think…lowly of me or that I’m just…a mess,” you continued, “I thought…I thought I had more control of myself, but…I don’t feel like I do.”

Despite your own words, you couldn’t help the way your eyes clouded over with unshed tears, voice cracking at the end as you pressed the back of your hand against your mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to come out. Out of control. That’s what scared you–you wanted to be in control of yourself, and yet…you certainly weren’t in that moment.

You were surprised, however, when you felt Arthur pull you into his side as he wrapped an arm around your back. While a part of you wanted to push away, to insist that you were fine, you found yourself wrapping an arm around his back as you pressed your head into the side of his neck. Arthur placed his free hand on the side of your head, the feeling causing you to close your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. You could feel the tears leaking out, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop holding onto him, your free arm curled into his chest. Your shoulder was protesting, but you didn’t care.

“You’re alright,” Arthur muttered, the softness of his tone surprising you as well. “I don’t think anythin’ different about you. Shouldn’t matter much if I did, my opinions ain’t worth much.”

“That’s such a lie and you know it,” you replied, voice thick but you couldn’t help the touch of amusement as you felt him chuckle in return.

“Well, first part’s true. Don’t know about the rest,” he said, making a small grin touch your face.

It was a relief that he didn’t judge you for what was happening, really. You had wanted him to believe that you had it under control, that your wellbeing wasn’t just another thing to add to his list of things he needed to keep on top of. Yet, you knew it wasn’t fair to just hold everything in. He cared, that much was true.

“You’ve been in camp long enough,” he continued, “You’ve seen the screamin’ matches, people stumbling around drunk, injured. You’ve seen me in some ways I wish you hadn’t. I can’t judge. You’re one of the strongest people here.”

“I don’t feel strong,” you muttered, voice muffled into his shoulder. Yet, it was an admission that seemed to lift some weight off your chest. “I want to be, but I don’t feel like I am.”

“You are,” Arthur insisted, “Amount of times you’ve seen me lash out, say things without thinkin’. You kept it together for a long time. Runnin’ off on your horse is not the worst way I’ve seen someone break.”

“...I’m sorry I snapped at you,” you said, letting out a heavy breath as you relaxed into his hold some more, “You didn’t have to stay, but you did and I appreciate this. More than I can say, Arthur.”

“We’re gonna get through it,” Arthur replied, resting his cheek against the side of your head, “It’ll be fine.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not–if that was naive thinking with what you both knew about what was happening. In the moment, however, you let yourself believe that. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, shutting your eyes as you let out a slow breath.

“Thank you.”

[dragon-queen21]

AHH im back again howdy, i dont exactly have one headcanon i go off of this time, theres a few, its more like my misc hcs until i come up with somethin i can reallt write about, i hope you dont mind ☹️ i just like ramblin in these asks, its really fun

—first off, i see brook as a regessor, but i dont see him as a little regressor or even a kid regressor. i see him regressin to his 30s, when he was alive and still with his old crew. or he regresses to his 40s; a little after he died. when hes regressed its really hard to tell, for both him and the strawhats. its in moments when he wakes the crew up with his songs or sometimes when he gets scared of his own reflection or its when he has to be left alone on the sunny. he doesnt need to be cared for like a younger regressor, but he would need care in other ways. when hes regressed, he thinks about the past, his old captain and crew, he misses laboon.

— ALSO I REALLY WANNA DROP MY STRAWHAT AGERE HEADCANONS OKAY WIAT LET ME- ONE SECOND

Luffy, Zoro, Robin, Brook, Nami, and Sanji are flips. (Cg + Reg)

Franky is a caregiver only.

Usopp + Chopper are babysitters & regressors.

woah they we go!!! feel free to tell me if you have different ideas ! i love hearin from others !

— i have the hc that the crew enforced little zoro naptimes because he gets fussy (hes like a cranky old man except hes like. 8.)

— luffy can walk a lot of the time he regresses, he just doesnt want too. he prefers when people carry him. it makes him really happy

— sanji and luffy regress the youngest normally. theyre really silly! luffys very energetic, and sanjis more calm, but put them together and oh boy!

okay im done now, im sorry its so unorganized and im sorry ive been sending in a lot of asks

also i hope your doing okay, make sure to take time for yourself yk:)

📷

It’s really fun to hear from you! I was hoping you would have more to share! :D

Oooh I like that idea. Especially love characters who have been alive for longer than a normal life span, when asked “hey, how old are you feeling?” They genuinely don’t know how to answer because age is so subjective to them. (I was actually thinking about this recently for two of my own characters so it’s funny that you bring this up)

Adding my own head canon, Nami sews plushes for the crew members, she would definitely make a whale plush for Brook! (Also she would make Zoro a cat plush and Sanji a mouse, anyways~)

Adding Jinbei as being a caregiver only. Just, very dad coded.

I don’t know if I see Chopper being a regressor. Well actually scratch that, maybe a pet regressor???

Because any childhood he could return to would be of a deer so obviously it’s less baby instincts and more fawn instincts. Does that make sense??? I don’t know if I worded that right, but you get the idea

(hes like a cranky old man except hes like. 8.)

<- XD oh my goodness I love this. So much. You have no idea. It fits so perfectly

Let. Luffy. Cling. 👏 ends up clinging to his crew mates backs if they can’t properly hold him.

Mkay but might I offer you the idea of baby space luffy? Paired with little Sanji who’s regressed to around two. Just. The tinies.

No apologies! Like I said I quite enjoy these! Send in as many as you would like to I shall happily answer all of them. It feels very rare to get comments like these and I love getting the excuse to ramble about characters with someone who is also into the conversation, you honestly make my whole day :D

Also I need to take some time for myself in the creative sense. The urge to write a very self indulgent fic grows stronger each day. I just need to make the time.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

SCREAMS

WELCOME BACK

I’VE HAD A WEEEK OF THINKING ABOTU EP 4 NONSTOP AND THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT POSTING ART IS BECAUSE I’M PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE UNTHINKINGLY SLAPPING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS (its happened before) BUT DADSY HAS MY ENTIRE SOUL ANYWAY

ITS EP 5 TIME AND HECK HECK

MONKIE KID SEASON 4 EPISODE FIVE WE HALFWAY THROUGH BOOOOIIIIIIS

BUCKLE UP I AM NORMAL ALREADY FOLKS

actually to be honest I’ve been pretty chillin until I doodled Pigsy and Mk and now I’m feeling feral THIS SHOW REALLY IS SO GOOD FOR MY BRAIN YELLSSS

OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO COURT OF THE YELLOW ROBED DEMON HECK SOUNDS FUN LETS BOOGIE

continues to be a banger theme song that i will listen to all the way through every time it plays thank you very much

. . .

i need a moment

lays down

Pigsy absolute beloved ;-;

ALSO I’M KINDA WHEEZING AT THE BLUE ISN’T REALLY MY COLOUR

HECK I DIDNT’ APPRECCIATE EP 4 ENOUGH SO YOU BEST BELIEVE I’MA BE CHERISHIGN THE CRAP OUTTA EPISODE FIVE

I’M JUST SO HAPPY PLS BGSL;DKFMSDF

Pigsy washing his clothes in the river, Mk doodling i adore I’m so much and MEI BELOVED BALANCING SWORD ON HER NOSE I’M

THE VIBES ARE SO GOOD I WILL CRY

i had to rewind because i just sat here watching and just ;-; SUCH GOOD VIBES MAN |;A;/

ALSO HECK DIOLOGUE

HECKINGDSFLKMSD

PIGSY CALLING OTHER PIGSY A MONSTER

HMHMHM JOTTING THAT DOWN UR HONOUR

NGL BUT THAT VALIDATES MY OWN LITTLE SELF-INDULGENT FIC I WROTE A WHILE BACK OF TIME TRAVEL AND HIM DISLIKING PAST HIM SORRY I’M JUST GRRGRRRAWRRR BITES /POS

IS PIGSY HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THAT WAS A PAST LIFE?

HECK I’M BITESBITESBITES

THE LAST EP KINDA FELT CONFUSING WHERE TANGS FELT VERY THUROUGH IN WHAT THE BIGGEST REGRET THING WAS BUT

AFTER LITERALLY JUST THAT LINE I’M LIKE OH SO HIS GREATEST REGRET WAS JUST BEING WHO HE WAS HUH FR

I’M LIKE THIRTY SECONDS IN AND ALREADY NORMALGBS;LDFKMA

Tang with the name correction ;-;

PIGSYGBSDFLMWE

DON’T GO COMPARING ME TO THAT DEMON

I’M JUST PLAIN OL PIGSY

|;A;/

I’M FINE IGNORE ME

Pigsy ur so valid for wanting layers on hHNV;LKSMFSD But my good sir no need to apologize for being a hunk smhBG;LSKDFM;WOEF

Mei

Mei absolute beloved

a

s SCREAMS

DRAGON TIME

WE GONNA SEE HIIIMMMMMMM

considering i had so much brainrot about Wukong and Ao Lie brother moments after season 3 if we see him and we get any of his care for his bro i will be emotionally destroyed /pos LIKE I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM SM I TELL YOU AAAAAAAA

Mei: oh he must’ve been awesome

you’re right mei he was

just didn’t get much… screen time. book time? time BG;KSADFKMSDF

I WONDER HOW THEY’LL CHRACTERIZE HIM

HECK

AAAAAAA

SO MANY OPTIONS

i am very normal if we see him i’ll cry

Mei’s got some seriously good balance now

MY ANCENSTORGSLDFKMAGNMAWE

.

Okay i wanna laugh over Mei’s I THOUGHT MONKEY KIGN WIAS YOUR DAD! HE’S NOT MY DAD!!!!

I WAS GONNA LAUGH BUT U H

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS BEEN MENTIONED

MK IS LITERALLY DRAWING A STONE EGG

THE PEBBLE CRACKING IN HIS FLASHBACK

BUDDIES OF MINE SUDDENLY ON THE MK AND WUKONG SIBLING TRAIN

head in hands

so this confirms the theory that smacked me in the face last week this is fine

Mk fr probably a pebble from swk’s rock or something i don’t know TOO MANY FINGERS POINTING IN TAT DIRECTION I DONT’ KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG UNIVERSE I WOULD GLADLY ACCEPT IT

AM I AFRAID TO LEARN ABOUT MK’S BACKSTORY NOW?

YEAH A LITTLE BIT

EVERYHTING IS FINE

TIS IS FINE

A

AH

PLS

SCREAMS

HE SAID IT

SHAKES YOU

GUYS HE SAID IT I’MGNSDFLK;MASDF

THE POINT

AND

PIGSY’S MY DAD

PIGSY SWEATINGBDL;KMASD

PLEASENG;LKSAMF

UR HONOUR

UR HONOUR PLEASE

THIS IS MY SEASON

THIS IS MY SEASON

HECKING

GETTING EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT SHUT UUUUPPPPBGS;DFKLMAW;EOIMFE

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

HIS BLEP AND CONTINUES COLOURING

Y’ALL MK MY BELOVED I ADORE THIS DUDE SM

PIGSY BLINDSIDED BY BEING CALLED DAD SO BLATANTLY I’M ON THE FLOOR

MK REALLY JUST

LETS CUT THE CRAP THAT’S MY DAD EVERUYBODY ELSE CAN GO I’MGBSD;FKMASDF

Guys I think i found my favourite episode

no lie this is

everything to me rn

PLEASE

A CONSPIRICY BOARDBG;SLKDMFWE

TANG’S DOODLES

SANDY STILL OFF SCREENGBSD;FKM;WOEF

CAN MEI BECOME A HORSENGKLMFD

GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY

HECK HECK I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MOVING TO FAST I WANT TO GO BACK AND REWATCH THE WHOLE MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSYS MY DAD UH KID I’M NOT TECNICALLY-

HEKCKMGNDSFMSD

YEAH

I CAN’T BELIEVE

THEY’RE THEORIZING ON SCREEN

ABOTU WHETHER OR NOT MK’S RELATED TO MONKEY KING

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL I FEEL LIKE I’M SCROLLING THORUGH THE FANDOM TAGBGBSDL;KFMSDF

I WILL CRY

HECK THIS IS SO FUNNY SEEING IT ALL SLAPPED OUT LIKE THAT I’VE LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT ALL IN THAT ORDER WE’VE MADE SO MANY THEORIES LIKE THIS I’M WHEEZINGNSDFL;KMSDF

BELOVED MONKEY KING

REAL SWK CONFIRMED

I’M GONNA SCREAM

THEY LEGIT DOING THIS??

FR???

I CAN’T BELEIVE THISGBSD;FKLMOEWF

SO

MK

RELATED TO MONKEY KING SOMEHOW CONFIRMED IG

ALL THAT

PLS

HE’S AT LEAST A STONE MONKEY

I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK I LIKE MONKEY KING BEING ONE OF A KIND AND ALL THAT NOT SURE ABOUT THAT APPROACH BUT HECK IT WE BALL IG

ALSO PLEASELMGSAOFE

MK JUST LIKE NOOOO NONONONONOOO NO THANK YOU THAT’S CRAAAAZY

ah yess because he’s normally sooooo forthcoming with information

HELPGSDLKF

YEAH

SHE GOT A POINT LAD

SHE DO BE GOT A POINT

poor mk not looking very stoked at this possibility

CURIOUS YOU’D THINK HE’D BE ECSTATIC BUT IG TRUAMA DOES A LOT BGSDL;FKMS

MK COMUNICATING LEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WELL WHEN WE FIND HIM WE CAN ASK HIM! :D

PLS I JUST LOV EHIM A LOT GUYS

PIGSYGBSD;LKFMWE

PIGSY YOU’VE BEEN HERE FIVE SECONDS WHY ARE YOU ANNOYEDNLGKMMFEEF

I’m telling you now! :D

PLS IT TAKES A SECOND TO FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT

H

HECK

SCREAMS

HECK WAIT

I’M NOT READY

THIS IS SO EARLY IN THE EPISODE WDYM

USUALLY THEY WAIT TILL CLSOER TO THE END TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY

WE’RE ONLY TWO MINUTES IN

HELP WAITBG;LSDKMF

also welp ig mk really is stone monkey HOW DOES THAT WORK I DON’T KNOW I’M IN PIECES GO BACKGNS;LKFMWE

i DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S MONKEY KINGS ROCK MK I THINK IT’S YOURS

ALSO UM WHAT THE HECKNVG;LKSDMFBGN;AKFMA;WOEF

MK VERY EAGER TO HAVE MONKEY KING EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE HE’S DEFINITELY NOT HIS DADGBSDF;LKM;SDF

th

heck

okay

so

so

soooo

that sounded

less like monkey kings voice there

and more like

ahem Mk’s

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

SCREAMS AND SHAKES YOU ALL

I SWEAR IF HE’S A CLONE

OR HECKING

SOMETHING ID ONT’ KNOW

HE HECKING BETTER NOT BE DEAD

IT BETTER NOT BE MONKEY KING ISNT’ ACTUALLY MONKEY KING AND MK’S HIS REINCARNATION AND MONKEY KING IS ACTUALLY JUST A CLONE LEFT BEHIND TO COACH HIS NEXT LIFE THAT STUPID THING I MADE UP I SWEAR I WILL BE CRUSHED PLEASE DONT’ BE THATBG;SDLKFMAWOE I MADE THAT UP FOR ANGST PURPOSES NOT FOR IT TO BE A HTEORY FOR CANON

i am full of fear

HECK THOSE ARE GIANT EYES

SCROLL CURSE

UP

OH NO THEY LOST THE CHEAT SHEET

CHEAT SHEET WAIT THAT’S SO FUNNYGHSBDFLK;MWEF

OH HECK

HECKK

ECK HECK JGSDJLFSJD

MEI

WATCH IT

OH SHE’S FAST NOW

OH RIP

WELP

I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING

SO WE’RE GONNA GET A MEI ARC IN THIS ONE AGAIN HUH

BREAK THE SWORD DISSAPOINTED FAMILY OR SOMETHIGN GOTTA RE-PROVE HERSELF OR SOMETHIGN HECKINGNFDL;KMWE

THAT’S SUCH PRETTY ANIMATION THO HECK EHCK

WE’RE ONLY 2:50 IN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS SCREAMS

.

THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ALL BUBBLED TO DIFFERENT PLACES I SWEAR

oh no yup separated

I’M SO SORRY MEI ILY

OH RIP

WELP

YUP EVERYBODY SEPERATED

AWESOME

.

HELPGML;SDFM

CONGRATS TANG LOOOKS ILKE YOU’RE IN THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN

GL WITH THAT

WIAT HELPGNSAOWE

HE FR JUST SCREAMS AND BUBBLES AWAY

HELPGMSLDF

I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE LONGER HELPGNSDLFKMSDF

peak comedy there well done lets scream and run away from that chapter so true bG;LKAWEMFAEWFNAWFE

.

Mei.

Mei you

Mei you literally have the fire of Samadhi

you have the Samadhi fire

you don’t need a swordnGL;KMAWFE

OKAY THO MEI EP OR SOEMTHING IG

SHE’S GONNA GO ON A JOURNY OF SELF-DISCOVERY IG

ALSO WHERE THE HECK DID MK GO

WE SAW EVERYBODY ELSE

WER’ES MY BOOOIIIII

OH I HATE HIM

IMMEMDEATLEY

WHO’S THIS CLOWN

FIESTY

EAT MY FIST

WHY IS HE

TALKINGNSDFL;KMWE

KILL  HIM

SUS OLD MAN

OH RIGHT YEAH YOU’RE THIS GUY

OH HE’S A VIBE ACTUALLY

LONG HAIR VIBIN

.

YOU BETTER NOT HTINK MEI IS YOU’RE HEKCING WHATEVER

OR MAYBE YOU WANNA CONSUME HER

OKAY YEAH

FUN

I’LL BE SPICY ALRIGHT

OHH

OKAY CONCERN

BURN HIM ALIVE

COME ON W

oh

not gonna

eat her right away oka

ITS HIM

ITS HIM

ITS HIM HITSBSFBGANFABF;IOAWMEFAWMGFA;LFMAWOIEMFAF

SCREAMS

SCREAMS

ITS HIM

TIS HIM

SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU ITS HIM

I KNOW IT IS

ITS HIM I TS HIM TBNSLKMGNEEM

ITS HIM

GREEN

GREEN

ITS HIM

SCREAMS IT HE

ITS HIM ITS MY MAAAN

ITS HE

SCREAMS

ITS AO LIE

SHUT I’M UP GONNA CRY ITS HIM RIGHT NOW HE

I’M HAVING A MOMENT HERE GUYS GIVE ME A SECOND I’M GONNA CRY

OH HE’S SO SCRUNGLY

OH HE’S SO

YES

OH THE LONG SLEEVES EXCUSE ME HE’S SO DELIGHTFUL

I IMMEDEATELY ADORE HIM

I am not normal

HE’S BEAUTIFUL

HIS LITTLE HEADTILT

I WILL SOB

HELPGMSDLFKMSDF

TANG JUST ZOOMIN

NOP NOPE NOPE NOPE

THE NEZHA MOMENT

THIS IS ACTUALLY SO MUCH FUN

HECK AO LIE IS SO SCRUNGGLY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YA’LL

HE’S DRAWN SO NICE

HES’ BEAUTIFUL

MEI GETS TO HANG OUT WITH HER ANCESTOR

SHE’S EITHER GONNA BE ANNOYED BY HIM OR VIBE AND I’M GONNA CRY EITHER WAY

OH NOPPES OUT TANG ET MOVING

YUP NOPE

THAT’S THE WORNG DOOR VERY MUCH

OH HE’S LAUGHIGN AT HER

WHATS SO FUNNY GUY

I LOVE

I LOVE HIM

SISTER

PLS

I ADORE HIM

YOU DONT’ UNDERSTAND I’M IN LOVE WITH HIS DESIGN THE VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD

THE :3 FACE THEY’RE GIIVNG HIM

i am actually going to cry YOU GUSY HE’S SO SCRUNGLY

PLEASE

PLEASE HE’S EVERYHTING TO ME

I WANT TO GIVE HIM SNACKS

THE TRIP

PLEASE

HE’S JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY

truly this is the youngest sib during the journey truly tis him

i love how i’m just assuming this is Ao Lie when i actually have no proof its just the vibes via the story and the fact he’s beautiful and green and absolutely delightful I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTANDNGLSDMAGNWO;EFM

oh man we’re only halfway through this is gonna be a long post hG;KLSDFJSD

THIS GUY

YUP MILDLY ANNOYED

I LOVE HIM

OH

OH BUDDY NO

BUD

BELOVED

I’M ABOUT TO CRY

BRUH REALLY

JUST VIBIN

WAITING FOR HIS PWOERS TO BE SNATCHED

AND MEI JUST OUTRAGED BY THAT

YEAH

I’M

HECK

HECK GUYS THAT’S HER ANCESTOR I’M GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS THIS IS A THREAT

INACTION IS CARELESS

IN

INTERSTING

MADAM

MEI NOT ALL OF THAT IS CORRECT

OH LETS GO I HOPE THIS IS A BOTH LEARN SOMETHING FROM EACH OTHER ARC I WILL CRY

MEI HECKA PASSIONATE ABOUT HER FRIENDS

HELPGMSDFLMADF

DO NOT SENSE

PLEASE

PLEASE HANG ON THIS IS MOVING SO FAST

THEY WENT FROM LIKE

HI HI

*INTENSE PHYSCOLOGICAL DISCUSSION*

THEY JUST MET PLEASENG;LKMSDFE

IS IT GONNA BE LIKE

GET OUT AND THEN SURPRISE! I’M AO LIE!

ANYWAY IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU BYEEEE

PLS

A SWORD IS POWERLESS WITHOUT THE HAND THAT WEILDS IT

I ADORED IT

MY DUDE WHO IS PROBABLY AO LIE no its’ definitely Ao Lie AO LIE BELOVED I LOVED IT ITS A GREAT BIT OF WISDOM

THEIR LITTLE BANTER IS SO FUNNY PLEASE

MEI’S READY TO BITE HIM HE’S JUST SILLY GOOFY MAN

THEY BOTH GOT GOOD POINTS

man family dinner must be fun if his sister’s anything like Mei bGALK;SMDFAOWEF MAN I LOVE THEM

TANG REALLY GOING THROUGH IT

M

MO??????

MO??????

MO IS THAT YOU???

HECK???

WHERE’D YOU COME FROM???

WHY AREN’T YOU WITH SANDY??

i mean sandy’s probably not sandy rn but MO????

OH HECK

HELLO

AH

LOUDLY

DECLARING THAT HUH

WHATS GOING ON OVER THERE

Y’know hang on before we listen to Wukong’s bros trash talk him i wanna think about the fact that Wukong and Ao Lie probably get along great because they’re so alike

they’re just silly goofy Ao Lie probably reminds Wukong of himself back when he was just goofing off pls

OH??

OH MACAQUE’S THERE LISTENIGN TO THEM TRASH TALK HIS BELOVED FRIEND?? YEAH?? OH I’M INVESTED LETS FREAKING GO

unpredictable sure is a word for WukongnGL;KMEAFWE

CHARERISTICALLY QUIET PLSNG;LSDKMF

oh wow hey

New VA nailing it actually

deeper sounding

more gruff hang on i need a sec

lays down

heck

okay

okay we’re good

lets see if Azure’s vibes continue to be rancid or he says something to bring it back

also my goodness what a good thing to slap in there, Monkey king gone for years at a time sure does make it sketchy i’m biting this

OH HE’S IN THE BIG OL KING SEAT UH

TANG RECIGNIZING HIM FROM THE DOODLE

PLS THAT’S SO SILLY /POS

NO YEAH ME TOO DUDE

HE’S HECKA SUS

HIS VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID

also heck i’m curious as to what they’re gonna do with this

like if Mac goes along with those three and then it’s actually the other way around not Wukong betraying them but them betraying him that’d be WILD considering we’re all so sure its something Wukong did but heck maybe Azure really does do something heck heck

OKAY BACK TO THE FAMBLY

and the excellently designed dude i immediately hated

he and Ao Lie are on opposite sides of the scale for me pleasemKLGASDF Cool design I IMMEDEATELY HATE HIM and COOL DESIGN I ADORE HIM

Whats up greasy ole face weirdo

oh

OH BELOVED

BEAUTY FIRST

DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT

DID HE JUST SAY BEAUTY FIRST OR AM I JUST IN LOVE WITH THE DESIGNGNSDLFKMABGOWEMF

I’M GONNA ASSUEM THAT’S WHAT HE SAID AND CRY OVER THE FACT AO LIE IS PRETTY WE BEEN KNEW

OH MAN MEI’S GREAT

YEAAAHHHHH

SCREAMS

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

is the the DANG DRAGON MOMENT U SEEM MORE FAMILAR ARE WE RELATED MOMENT OR GNSLDK;MFAOWEIM

AAAA

SEH’S SO GOOD I LOVE HER A LOT

GET EM MEI

OH

AYO

MADE HERSELF A SWORD

LETS FREAKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

SHE’S SO GOOD

I LOVE HER

WHITE HORSE DRAGON

HEAR THAT AO LIE??

HEAR THAT???

Its okay i’m fine i’m just losing it

GET EM GURRRLL

SHE’S SO

FREAKING POWERFUL

OH WOW THE DRAMATIC

HAIR SWOOSHY

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT DAY TO BE CARELESS

OH

OH FREAKING

HECK

WOW

HE’S

OH WOW

AW

I LOVE

HIM

I LOVE IM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

ITS YOU

AO LIE LIKE EH??

VA GO BRRR

I KNEW YOU WERE COOL

OH REALLY YOU THINK SO? :D

HE’S SO SCRUNGGLY

OH THE COOLEST

PLEASE

I WANT MORE OF HIM

I WANT MORE OF HIM SO BADLY

I BEG OF YOU

HE IS EVEYRTING TO ME I GOT CHILLS

HECK

HECK

OH

OH

OH MAN

MAN

AMV TIME HERE I COME THIS SEASON IS SO FREAKING GOOD I’M LOSING IT

I’M GONNA MAKE SO MANY AMVS I SSWEAR

I’M GONNA WATCH THIS EP ON LOOP

AO LIE IS EVERYTHING

I WANT HIM BACK

PLEASE

AAAAAAAAAA

|;A;/

SCREEAAAMMSSS

OKAY

OKAY

MK

OH MY BOY  ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

HECK HE WAS STRAIGHT UP KNOCKED OUT UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE

GO BACK WHERE’S PIGSY HECK HECK HECK

I WANT MORE DADSY CONTENT WAAAAIT

OHBOY

WHERE ARE THEY

W

OH PUTI

OH

OH

OH

OH ARE WE

WHERE

HECK

HANG ON

SHOOT

HE IS NOT REPLACING SWK IN THIS

I SWEAR

I WILL LOSE MY GOSH DANG MIND IF THEY DO THAT

SWK IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME DON’T DO THIS TO ME

HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK

SCREAMS

OKAY

OKAY SO MK IS IN

MONKEY KINGS PLACE

HECK

SO CONFIMRED MK STONE MONKEY AT LEAST, LITERLALY SWK’S SON OR SIBLING AT MOST OR LITERALLY SWK, AO LIE IS MY MOST FAVOURITE EVER I WANT HIM AND SWK BEING GOOFY TOGETHER RIGHT FREAKING NOW, ZHU BAJIE’S GREATEST REGRET MIGHT JSUT BE HIM BEING HISMELF, LBD LOOKED RIGHT AT TANG, MEI CAN MAKE HER OWN NEW SWORD NOW, MK MIGHT BE REPLACING MONKEY KING, AZURE’S VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID, THE NEW VA FOR MAC IS DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB OF SOUNDING CLOSE THE TO THE OG (nothing but appreciation for this guy thank you big shoes to fill) AND THEY’RE ALL SEPERATED, TANG FOUND MEI THO, AO LIE WAS READY TO GIVE UP HIS OWN POWERS, THEY CLASHED BOTH HAD GOOD POINTS, TANG BOOKED IT OUT OF THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN, MK DIDN’T KEEP HIS FRIENDS IN THE DARK ABOTU HIS VISIONS FOR LONGER THAN LIKE TWO EPISODES AND IS COMMUNCIATING, SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM THINKING ABOUT SWK AS HIS DAD, PIGSY GOT CALLED DAD PIGSY’S MY DAD, AH HECK HECK THIS EPISODE HAD SO FREAKING MUCH THEY FOUND MO, HOLDS HIM GETNLY, MACAQUEEEEEE AAAAAAAAA I LOVE ALL THESE GUYS SO MUCH

SHUT UP I THINK THIS IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE NOBODY TOUCH ME I GOT EVERYTHING BUT WUKONG AND I’M ON A HIGH

KNOX OUT I GOTTA GO RUN INTO SOME SNOW

[chewchuck]

AND ANOTHER THING! (IM BACK FOR MORE)

I absolutely picked up on a few things that honestly had me just asking more questions about Chilchuck’s pov. On one hand, I usually love seeing each pov within the chapters, but! on the other, it was very what’s the word… fitting? nicely done. how you handle the showing and telling of the story

My internal dialogue was a lot of “Oh surely this man is not entirely oblivious to dog boy over here.” “Oh he has GOT to be thinking thoughts rn.” So eek! Yes I am so excited about the addition lol

Also I have no idea WHAT they’re put in this stuff, but Dungeon Meshi has just… gotten me in a chokehold. The Chilaios Nation, don’t know what y’all are doing, but it also has me in a chokehold. Scarily dragging me in. I am obsessing I am refreshing my tabs I am unwell I am blessed with a feast fit for a king this is affecting my mental health I need sleep. Anyway, love all the chilaios nation folks <3

listen to me. look me in my eyes. i am gripping you by the shoulders. this is everything to me

because so genuinely while writing the first part, i considered every single aspect of what chikchuck thought about what was going on. what was he feeling what was he thinking etc etc and i while i don’t always think that’s necessarily for a limited pov fic, especially not when it comes to one that boils down to self indulgent smut, like i said *i* knew what he was going through and wanted to try to translate that to the audience with out like. making it so obvious that laios should have picked up on it.

and when trying to convey something subtle like that it’s so easy for it to go completely unnoticed. and honestly i do think i would have been just fine with that actually! bc i never intended to make a second part of this from chilchucks pov!

but the way sooo many people have been like “i am picking up on this” just made me so happy!!! like i said a billion times while writing this i made and am still making this for me first and foremost! it’s self indulgent and all about what *i* want to happen and what makes me happy

but that doesn’t change the fact that i am so overwhelmingly happy that so many other people are enjoying it!! im over the moon about that! and thats a HUGE part of why i got inspired to actually write a chilchuck pov!!!

(and not to curse myself but uhm. based on the current word count compared to the equivalent part of the first part it. well it might end up longer. but shh don’t tell anyone)

BUT YEAH WTF DID RYOKO KUI PUT IN THIS FUCKING SHOW AND WHAT IS IT ABOUT CHILAIOS NATION.

i think it’s crack cocaine

i’m would like to reiterate/make it clear that i made this blog LESS THAN A WEEK AGO. that’s how insane this shit had made me. it’s been less than a week and i’ve made a whole side blog, wrote over 11k of fic, made several friends, joined a discord server and am HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. i am having more fun in this fandom than i can remember having in almost 15 years

sorry this reply got REALLY long but. it just feels good. i’m happy. i’m having fun and im glad there are other people along for the ride who are having fun as well :3

[deviant-sent-by-cyberlife]

Blooming feelings

AO3 / Commissions / Links /

Summary: Connor starts to question his program and himself, seeing life in a new, different way. Maybe emotions aren’t unnecessary nuances, bothering numbers you need to lock away, but blooming flowers, worth living for.

content: pov Connor, anxiety, emotional hurt/comfort, fear of being replaced/left behind, overthinking

a/n: it was 100% self-indulgent, I’ve had really stressful weeks in the last 3 weeks and other additional dreadful ones will come. In a last attempt to help myself getting thru it all I’ve been bottling and locking up emotions, trying to bury them so I can focus on the task that needs to be done. What a genius move I know

It’s my first fic in this fandom hope you guys will like it ~

You are not supposed to and can’t feel ,

You are a machine Connor,

Not a living thing,

Software instability ^

RK800 heard Amanda’s harsh voice in his head,

A voice calculated, cold and emotionless,

“Connor?

What got to ya?

Told ya not to lick that blood.”

Warm, brown eyes opened to see,

Him and Hank still standing in the lift,

“Did your battery die or what?”

“Sorry Lieutenant, no,

I was sending the report.”

The two of them were leaving a scene,

Where they saw,

The 3rd deviant case in the week.

Connor’s been… experiencing a mild unease,

That he couldn’t place,

Nor he could find,

Any malfunctions in his program.

He ran tests after tests,

But to no avail,

There was no problem in his system anywhere,

Even now,

As he was staring at Hank,

He had the urge to lie to him instead.

I wasn’t sending any report,

Not even writing,

Just heard Her voice and …

Had the impression of concern,

Even something that humans call dread,

But why I had the impulse to hide,

Keep it a secret,

And lock it inside?

But Amanda’s tone rang again,

Voicing his concerns in his head,

But you know that don’t you Connor?

It would mean you are a deviant,

And failed your mission.

Therefore who would need you anyway?

An android,

Which was created to hunt,

Became the hunted rabbit in the dark,

Even Hank,

That drunk police,

Would turn away,

And laugh in your face.

You always accomplish your missions, eh?

Software instability ^

“Jesus Connor stop staring at me!”

The grunt of the grumpy man,

Pulled Connor out of his head,

The door of the lift just opened with a ping,

Letting a little bit of fresh air in,

“Sorry Lieutenant,

I was running some checks in my software—“

“Ugh, forget it.

I need a fucking drink.”

Days went by and that unease didn’t cease,

If anything it increased,

He was waiting in Hank’s car,

While the man stopped at his favourite burger place.

More and more deviant cases happend,

And he was a silent witness to it all,

With every new case,

A new weight appeared in his synthetic cage.

He started to … see these deviants in a new light,

Somehow sympathy crept into his heart,

Sympathy?

But I.. yes,

I’m sure that is the feeling,

What humans call sympathy—

Feeling .

To feel something —

“Alright, now we gotta go back to that shithole.”

He jumped as Hank climbed into the car,

Didn’t realise how long he’s been thinking,

While Hank’s “interesting” music choice screamed inside,

He took an other trip into his mind,

‘ Eyes are the window to the soul’,

He heard once a long time ago,

‘I’m an android. I don’t have soul’,

How easily I answered,

Whiteout a blink and a second thought,

At that time,

That possibility wasn’t unlocked before my eyes,

Feelings,

Amusing little butterflies,

Whose fills up chests,

And helps to bloom,

The pretty flowers of souls.

But now..

“Do I have a soul?”

“What?

What the fuck ya talking about,

Where did that come from? “

Unintentional whisper left the men made lips,

Spreading panic through artificial skin.

He froze,

His system showing error codes,

He just stared ahead,

Onto the dark rode,

Not daring to move.

I.. I failed my mission

Software instability ^

Now Hank knows,

He must realise that I’m …

I’m a deviant now.

He will report,

And sent me back,

Where they destroy and replace Me with Something else.

“.. Fuck knows,

I’ve been seeing all these cases for weeks now,

Seeing at first hand what these deviants do,

Learning their motives and stuffs….

They don’t look that different from me,

Or the other folks I know and see.”

From under a shocked silence,

Connor just stared,

Not registering what Hank just said,

“You know,

At first I saw you as a tin can,

Like an additional machine to a computer,

But then, khm,

All I’m sayin’ is,

That you are more .”

“… you mean, Lieutenant..?”

“Oh Jesus Connor, ughhh.

Maybe you do,

Maybe you don’t,

All I know is that,

We are quite similar at this point.”

“So.. you aren’t replacing me?

“What the fuck would I do that?

We are partners, aren’t we?”

He felt something in the air,

Something inevitable and comfortable.

But with comfort,

Came uncertainty, overstimulation and burden,

However there was something.. freeing there,

The looming weight of being replaced,

Had lifted and gave place,

To a chaos so colourful yet deep,

He felt his fans heating.

It f-feels … scary.

But strangely lifting too.

So this is what ‘waking up’ entail,

Liberating on one side,

And anxiety filled on the other.

They are not the never ending attacks of mosquitoes,

But the kiss of bees,

Worth living for.

Feelings filled his chest,

But for the first time in his life,

He didn’t try,

To shoo them away and stay in the dark.

Software instability ^

B̩͎͍̾ͅr̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘ḳ̯͍̑ͦ F̘͍͖ͫ͘r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ẹ̿͋̒̕

An impenetrable wall broke,

Slowly collapsing,

And leaving painful cuts,

Then,

When the last piece fell,

Darkness befell.

There was no Amanda nor update checks,

Only silence and Himself.

However in the dark,

He saw a blue flower blooming hard,

As he stepped closer and tried to touch,

It omitted pollen,

And embraced him in warmth.

As he looked down,

He realised,

There are many little blossoms under his shoes,

Waiting to bloom.

“Ya comin?”

Hank’s waxy voice slipped through the haze,

Comforting him once again.

We are partners in this case,

And friends in some way,

He really is waiting for me to step forward,

And spend days in union.

“Yes, Lieutenant,

I’m coming.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m a sucker for symbolism and metaphors :’D

Ps. English is not my first language, but I tried to somehow get the feeling of Hank’s accent in writing.

My writing requests are open ~