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thetravelerwrites · 5 years ago

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Sorka (Bugbear) Lemon

Rating: Lemon Relationship: Female Human/Male Bugbear Additional Tags: Exophilia, Bugbear, Interspecies Romance, Sex Content Warnings: Babies, Children, Infants, Mention of Birth Words: 4301

A super sweet commission for @floral-and-fine based on her monster match featuring the same characters! A single mother returns to work after giving birth to her first child, and uses a professional caregiver service to take care of her daughter while she works. The person they send is not exactly who, or what, she expected. Please reblog and leave feedback!

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Despite the difficulties, I really enjoyed my job.

It can be hard for a bugbear to work in childcare, a little because of our imposing physical appearance, but mostly because of the old tales about my kind back when our existence wasn’t widely known to the public, before the secluded monsters decided to integrate into mainstream society. There used to be bedtime stories about us that said bugbears ate children, that we took them away and devoured them if they were bad or disobeyed their parents. We were a cautionary tale.

The thing about fables like those is that there is usually a seed of truth to them. Back then, bugbears did take children, but we took them from bad homes and abusive families, protecting and often raising them as our own. In bugbear culture, children are the most precious creatures and our top priority, even if they were not our own children. It’s one of the reasons why so many of my kind went into childcare after the Integration.

But prejudice often prevented us from getting jobs as caregivers. Many humans still believed the old stories and are distrustful of us around their kids. Some bugbears worked in monster-only childcare programs for this reason, but I wanted to prove to people that though we were monsters, we weren’t villains. I wanted to work with humans and be an example.

It took me some time to find a childcare program that would allow me to work with humans, but Ironblood Interspecies Caregivers jumped at the chance to take me on. My extensive education in child psychology and fifteen years experience with non-human children was something that made me highly sought after in the field, and Jukah, the owner, was excited to have me working for him. He’d recently expanded onto his daycare with an in-home care service for infants and special needs children. He was just as passionate about children’s welfare as I was, and becoming part of his team gave me a wonderful feeling, as though I was finally doing what I’d set out to do.

Even then, it wasn’t smooth sailing. The first few humans who had interviewed me turned me down almost immediately. Several wrote on the rejection form that the sight of me would scare their child, which was something I’d heard many times before, but it was still kind of a punch to the ego.

Eventually, I was hired on to take care of a non-verbal five-year-old human boy with autism named Liam, and I loved it. He didn’t care what I looked like and nor did his parents. In fact, petting the fur of my arms was one of his favorite stims, often falling asleep in my arms as he did so. He had hyper-fixations that he loved sharing with me, and though he couldn’t communicate, he was very smart. He did have violent episodes of self harm, and he was incredibly strong and could be difficult to manage during these episodes, so my size combined with my thick fur was crucial in helping restrain and calm him.

I worked with Liam’s family for six years until they moved away to Philadelphia for his mother’s work. God, I missed that boy. Keeping a professional distance was all well and good in theory, but it was impossible not to love a child one had devoted six years of their life to.

After they left, I had to go through the arduous task of finding a new family that needed a caregiver. Jukah sent out my resume’ to parents needing help, and to my surprise, I was selected within a week. Jukah had a policy of not sending pictures or mentioning race on the resume’ to prevent bias, but I still expected the first interview to go just as poorly as they usually did. I still went, hoping for the best.

Liana McAvoy was a single mother about to return to work after giving birth to her first child and daughter, Ruthie. Ruthie was seven weeks old and had laryngeomalacia, which concerned Ms. McAvoy to the extent that she wanted one-on-one care in her home. Laryngeomalacia was a condition in which the larynx was a little too big and caused the baby to make wheezing noises as if they were struggling to breathe or suffocating, but from what I knew, it was actually completely harmless and didn’t hurt the baby at all. It was still distressing to listen to, so I could understand Ms. McAvoy’s worry.

The day of the interview, I arrived at the apartment rather anxious. I was fully expecting Ms. McAvoy to reject me outright and just wanted to get it over with. The door opened and I saw the same expression I always saw when prospective clients first saw me: shock and alarm. She even took a step backward.

“Hello,” I said, ignoring the reaction and pressing forward. “I’m here for the childcare interview.”

She jumped a little as if goosed. “Oh, yes,” She said a little breathlessly. “Of course, please come in.”

I instinctively bent down to pass through the doorway; human residences were definitely not built with people like me in mind. As I made my way in and before I could speak further, I heard a high-pitched squawking.

“Oh, excuse me,” Ms. McAvoy said, looking apologetic. “She must have woken up.”

“No problem at all,” I assured her, smiling a little. This, oddly, seemed to ease her, and she smiled in return before she went to retrieve the little one.

In the moment she was gone, now that I was less anxious, I had a moment to realize something: she was gorgeous. Thick thighs, big butt, cute belly, small on top. Taller than average, for a human that is. She had most of her wavy brown hair pulled back into a pony tail with the ends bleached. She was wearing a flirty floral sundress that ended at the knee with a matching cardigan that complimented her skin tone perfectly and wore very little makeup on her adorable face, only a light mascara that brightened her eyes and a blush pink gloss that accentuated the pout of her lips. I gulped a little. She was exactly my type, physically at least, and I didn’t know how to unpack that information.

Attraction to clients wasn’t uncommon; there were company policies specifically because of it. As long as one could ignore the attraction, be professional, do their job, and not do anything inappropriate, then there shouldn’t be a problem. I was nothing if not professional.

She returned with the most adorable little baby girl, and any residual anxiety I had left evaporated. Ruthie looked a lot like her mother, though her eyes were blue rather than brown.

“She’s adorable,” I said. “Seven weeks, right?”

“Yeah,” Ms. McAvoy said, gazing down at the wiggle bundle proudly. She looked up at me. “Would you like to hold her?”

I was taken aback. Clients were always so guarded around me with their children, especially parents with infants. I could feel my face split into a wide grin.

“Absolutely!” I said, perhaps over-enthusiastically, but I was excited. This was going much better than I anticipated. I could see she was still a little nervous about it, but I held my hands out for the baby anyway.

She put Ruthie in my arms, and I cradled her carefully. “Well, aren’t you beautiful?” I said to her. She squealed and squeaked at me, waving her little fists. “Aren’t you sweet? You’re such a pretty little thing, aren’t you?”

“Do you have kids?” Ms. McAvoy asked me.

“No, no,” I replied, still playing with Ruthie, tickling her chubby cheeks. “But I was the oldest of twelve. Practically raised my youngest siblings.”

“Well, she certainly likes you,” Ms. McAvoy commented with a smile. “And you come highly recommended.”

I nodded. “I really care about my work,” I said. “Kids deserve the best.”

Her smile began more appreciative. “When can you start?”

My head popped up in shock. “Really?”

“Yeah,” She said, her smile widening to show her pearly teeth. “Ruthie’s taken a shine to you, so I gotta listen to the boss.”

I laughed in relief. “Thank you! I’m really excited to work with you. When do you go back to work?”

“In a week, and I’m dreading it,” Ms. McAvoy admitted.

I nodded. “That’s normal, especially considering this is your first child. It’ll be hard, but you’ll be okay. And so will she,” I said, bouncing Ruthie to make her squeak. “I promise to look after her as if she were my own.”

“That’s definitely a relief,” Ms. McAvoy said, sighing. “Would it be okay if I asked you to come a day early so that I could observe you with her? Just for my own peace of mind. I would pay you for the extra day, clearly.”

“Of course. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible. I’ll be here bright and early Sunday morning.”

“Thank you so much,” She said, holding out a hand.

I transferred Ruthie to my shoulder and to the hand took shake it. “You’re very welcome, Ms. McAvoy.”

“Please, call me Liana,” She said with a smile.

After the trial day on Sunday, during which Liana watched me with Ruthie, changing her diaper, putting her down for naps, listening to her breathing, doing a small check up to make sure when she inhaled that her chest wasn’t struggling to take in air, which would be an indication of breathing obstruction, but she was fine. After Liana was satisfied with me, she returned to work the next day, still anxious but less worried about Ruthie’s well-being in her absence.

For the next few months, things went smoothly. Liana came to trust me implicitly and was happy to leave Ruthie in my care when she worked. Liana was also in childcare, being a elementary school teacher, and it seemed to give us both an innate understanding of each other.

Liana was patient and kind, and my attraction to her was still there, especially when she wore those cute floral dresses and let her hair fall free to frame her face. I did my best to stamp down the attraction, but I couldn’t help admiring her beauty in silence.

A few months in, I got a call from Liana saying she was sick and staying home, but that she’d need me to come anyway. She wanted me to care for Ruthie so that she didn’t accidentally get her sick. She left a key in a hiding place for me to let myself in.

I unlocked the door and called, “Hello? Liana, it’s Sorka. Are you home?”

“Yeah,” A hoarse voice called from the back of the apartment. Liana’s room. I’d made it a point never to go in there, but I headed toward it. The door was open.

Inside, Liana was laying on her bed, looking pale and miserable, and Ruthie was in a covered bassinet, asleep. Liana was wearing a surgical mask and doctor’s gloves. I smiled a little at the sight.

“I hope this is okay,” Liana said, a little bit of a wheeze running through her speech. “I’d feel better if you were taking care of her while I’m sick. I’m scared to death of passing it on to her.”

“It’s no problem at all,” I assured her. “Would you like me to move her out of this room?”

“Yes, please,” Liana said. “I put her in here so I could watch her, but I don’t want her picking up any germs from me.”

“I gotcha,” I said, taking the bassinet and moving it gently outside of the room. “Can I get you anything?”

She laughed, which ended in a cough, and waved her hand at me. “It’s not your job to take care of me. Go on, you two. I’ll be asleep for most of the day, anyhow. It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

“If you say so,” I said with a smile. “But seriously, if you need anything, give a holler, okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” She said sleepily, taking off the surgical mask and gloves and getting as comfortable as possible. She was asleep within seconds, and I stood in the doorway, watching her breathe in and out. I felt a soft smile on my face. Even all snotty and sick, she was lovely. I covered her with her blanket up to the chin and closed the door.

I moved Ruthie to the other end of the apartment, playing with her and keeping her occupied. She was four months now and was able to sit up with support and I was working on teaching her some basic sign language. It was still too soon for her to be able to comprehend or make the signs herself, but starting early meant she could recognize the signs early as well.

It was nearing lunchtime, and after feeding Ruthie her bottle and putting her down for a nap, I looked in on Liana. She was sitting up in bed, mask and gloves on, going through paperwork on a lap table.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

“I still have to provide the substitute with my curriculum,” She said. “It’ll only take a few minutes. Where’s Ruthie?”

“Down for her nap,” I replied. “Well… I’ll leave you to it, then. Still, get some rest.”

“I will, I will,” She assured you.

I ordered lunch from a local sandwich place and made a split second decision to add some soup to the order as well. Looking in the cupboards, I found some tea, and there was lemon and honey I could add, as well.

When the food arrived, I put the soup in a bowl and added the tea and a glass of water and took it into Liana’s room. She was asleep again, the papers strewn across her torso. I smiled again and shook my head. Moving the papers, I set the tray down on the lap table and gently shook her.

“Liana,” I said softly. “Wake up. Lunchtime.”

Her eyes opened and she groggily looked down at the spread in front of her. Sitting up a bit, she looked up at me blearily.

“Did you make this?” She asked.

I laughed. “I wish. I’m a terrible cook. I ordered it. I did make the tea, though. I thought this would be good for you.”

“I said you didn’t have to do this.”

“You did,” I agreed. “But I did it anyway.”

She laughed, a sweet smile on her face, as she picked up the spoon. “I wish you had been Ruthie’s dad. He never did stuff like this for me.”

My heart did flip-flops in my chest. “You don’t talk about him much. And I’ve never heard you mention visitation. I hope you don’t think this is out of line, but is he involved much with Ruthie?”

“Not all that much, actually,” She said sourly. “He’ll come and see her once in a blue moon, but he never stays long. If it were for the fact that he had to pay child support, I doubt I’d ever hear from him.”

“I’m assuming it ended badly?”

She nodded. “He was cheating and got another girl pregnant,” She said. “His son, Ruthie’s half-brother, is almost the same age as her. They’re only about a week apart in age.”

“Oh, god,” I replied, wincing. “What an asshole.”

“Yeah,” She said, sipping the tea. “He didn’t seem to think he’d done all that much wrong, but I was willing to give him a second chance. Except that he chose her. Five years of my life, down the drain.” She sighed. “Well… at least I got a really pretty baby out of it. She’s definitely worth it.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

She shook her head. “It is what it is.”

I talked to her while she ate, and afterward, she grew tired again. I took the empty dishes and closed her door, washing them before going to check on Ruthie.

She was sick for a full week, and I stayed for as long as I could each day, making sure that both Ruthie and Liana were well cared for. Liana finally gave up her protests on the third day and let me nurse her back to health. Eventually, she went back to work and the routine reasserted itself.

Another few months passed. Ruthie’s laryngeomalacia faded to nothing, and I expected Liana to put her in a normal daycare, but she insisted on keeping me around, saying that Ruthie was used to me and that she didn’t want to introduce her to a new environment that might distress her. I didn’t mind: I loved Ruthie and reveled in any excuse to stay close to Liana.

My attraction was growing into more than that and I knew it. I didn’t want to admit that I was falling for her, because that meant I’d have to quit working for her. And I didn’t want to tell her the reason for my resignation because I didn’t want her to think I was disgusting or a pervert. I knew staying was dangerous, but I kept telling myself that I was a professional. I would keep it under control and not do anything that would put my job or position at Ironblood’s in jeopardy. I would ignore my feelings and keep a professional distance.

Even still, there were things that were hard to ignore, like the curve of her small breasts visible beyond the low neckline of her dress as she bent down, the sway of her hips as she moved and swished the hem of her dress, the sweet loving smile reserved only for Ruthie, the lilting sound of her voice when she sang a lullaby, the way the sunlight haloed her hair as it touched it early in the morning. I had to mentally shake myself every time I caught myself staring at her, hoping that she never noticed.

School was close to being done for the semester, and Liana was more busy that normal preparing for the end of the season. One day, she surprised me by coming home early.

“Half-day?” I asked as I was feeding–well, attempting to feed–a jar of string beans to a wiggling Ruthie.

Liana looked harried. “No, I forgot some of my tools here and it’s been a hell of a day. I’m using my lunch break to just get out of there and take a breath.” She sat down heavily in the opposite chair and kissed Ruthie’s head.

“Hungry, then?” I asked. “I can make us some sandwiches.”

“Sounds great, I’m starving,” She sighed. “Is Ruthie done eating?”

I snorted. “I think she’s eaten all she’s going to.”

“I’ll put her down for her nap, then.”

Liana emerged from Ruthie’s room, closing the door behind her, just as I was putting the top piece of bread on both sandwiches. “Roast beef okay?”

“Anything would be okay,” She said.

I didn’t realize she was directly behind me until I turned and walked right into her, knocking us both to the ground. The plates with the sandwiches clattered onto the floor and the food went in all directions.

“I’m so sorry!” I said, pulling myself up on my hands so I didn’t crush her. “Are you okay?”

But she didn’t answer. Her eyes were trained on her lips, her pupils blown wide. She was breathing heavily and her hands clutched the fabric of my shirt over my chest, as if she didn’t want me to get up.

At that moment, I was standing on the precipice of a dangerous cliff, and without hesitation, I jumped.

My mouth came down on hers, kissing her hard, all the pent-up tension I’d been feeling over the last few months finally being released. She kissed me back just as hungrily, grasping the fur around my ears and holding me in place. Her pelvis moved underneath me where I lay between her legs, and my cock immediately began to stiffen. This was going very fast, but I couldn’t stop it. I wanted her so badly.

She reached between us and unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned my pants, and unzipped the zipper, reaching inside to touch me, and I gasped in her mouth. As soon as I opened my mouth, her tongue slipped inside and she moaned. I broke apart for just a moment to slip off her panties, and I was back down, kissing her lips and face and neck as I pressed myself to her dripping entrance.

“Yes, yes, yes,” She chanted. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“So have I,” I said as I slicked myself down before pushing myself inside. She moaned loudly, but still tried to keep her sounds low. I had wanted to start slow and ease into it, but I couldn’t. I went hard and fast right out of the gate, desperate and needy. She seemed to appreciate it, though, wrapping her legs around my waist and spurring me on. I braced on one arm and palmed her breast over her dress with the other, my lips on her neck. She reached down and pushed the back of my pants down with both hands so that she could grab handfuls of my butt, squeezing and digging her fingernails in.

I could feel her having the orgasm underneath me even though she was trying hard to stay quiet. Her inner walls spasmed and her body went rigid, her eyes closed and her mouth open. I couldn’t slow down, I needed to get to that crest myself. It had been a while, and I had wanted her so badly.

I popped up onto my hands and looked down at her, and she gazed up at me, opening my shirt and running her fingers down my fur as my body slapped against hers, moving her back and forth against the floor a little aggressively, but she seemed to enjoy it, judging from the wide smile on her face. I could feel myself close to cumming just as her eyes rolled back again, her legs tensing around me. I felt myself release into her and my body locked up over her. All I could do was ball my fists and ride the wave back down until I collapsed over her, and she put her arms around me.

After the euphoria had worn off, my immediate next though was: What have I done?

A little awkwardly, I climbed off of her and helped her up. She went into the bathroom silently to clean up and I wiped myself down with a wet paper towel before straightening up my clothes. Liana came out of the bathroom just as I had finished cleaning what would have been our lunch off of the ground.

“So,” She asked sheepishly. “You’re in a lot of trouble now, aren’t you?”

I leaned against the counter. “Quite a bit, yes.” I sighed and took her hand. “I didn’t intend for this to happen. I meant to stay professional.”

She shook her head. “I think this was a long time coming, honestly. I’ve liked you for a really long time. I tried to stay distant, but it’s hard when you’re such a sweet guy.”

I laughed a little. “I’ve liked you, too. But I can’t be with you and keep my job.”

“I know,” She said. “I know how important your work is and I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. Well…” She trailed off and gestured to the spot on the floor where the two of you had made love. “I mean, not on purpose.”

“I know,” I said, pulling her into a tight hug. “I guess this is my notice of resignation from this position.”

She sighed shakily and clung to me hard before letting me go and giving me a kiss. “I’m sorry to see you go.”

The same day, I went to Jukah’s office and knocked on the frame of the open door. “Boss?”

Jukah was an orc, a little guy even by human standards due to a condition he had, but he had a very strong presence. He was the kind of guy people wanted to listen to. A leader.

“Hey, Sorka, what can I do for you?” He asked, shuffling papers to the side to devote all of his attention to me.

“Well,” I started reluctantly. “I need to quit the McAvoy job.”

Jukah cocked his head to the side. “Why? You love that position.”

“I have feelings for the mother,” I said, a little hesitant to meet his eye. “I can’t ignore them anymore.”

“Oh, I see,” He said, linking his fingers together. “How far has it gone?”

I scrubbed my face and was unable to answer.

Jukah sighed. “Look, I… I understand your position, but I have the reputation of the company to think about.”

“I know, sir.”

“You’ll be removed immediately from the home and reassigned.”

“I understand, sir.”

“And for god’s sakes, give it a week at least before you go back to her. And bring her flowers.”

My head popped up. “Sir?”

Jukah was shaking his head in a don’t push it kind of way, but continued. “No contact for a week. Then go back with flowers. And take her to a nice place. That’s an order.”

A wide smile broke out on my face. “You’re the boss.”

A week later, I followed orders and showed up with flowers in my hand. I attempted to apologize, but she kissed me before I could. Then she, Ruthie, and I went out for a nice dinner. Then, after laying Ruthie down for the evening, we spent a proper night together, just like we’d always wanted, only this time I planned to stay.

I was home again.

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cromulentbookreview · 6 years ago

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Externally Screaming

Every now and again I come across a book I like so much I can't really express how I feel about it with words, just unintelligible fangirl squealing.

Aurora Rising is one of those books.

Seriously, the whole time with this book I was just

Sometimes, I will start reading a book and find I literally cannot stop. Other times I will force myself not to - to pace myself, rather than binge-read because I know that as soon as I’m done reading it, it’ll be well over a year until the next book. I am in general a slow reader, and for the most part it’s unintentional - I’m easily distracted, my attention span is shot, I work full time, have other shit to do, etc. - so when I tell myself “no, only a few chapters today, otherwise it’ll all be gone and then you’ll have nothing. NOTHING!” It’s kind of a big deal.

(Sorry, can’t not use a Ron Burgundy gif there).

I should preface my fangirling by mentioning that I am a massive fan of Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff’s last trilogy, The Illuminae Files, which if you haven’t read it, stop everything, go read it, I will wait right here.

Oh my God those books are so good, right? I mean, nothing makes my librarian brain happier than stories that are told entirely through documents. Aurora Rising is a more traditional narrative told from multiple POVs, but we do get the occasional “fun fact” in-between chapters.

Behold! The jacket copy:

The year is 2380, and the graduating cadets of Aurora Academy are being assigned their first missions. Star pupil Tyler Jones is ready to recruit the squad of his dreams, but his own boneheaded heroism sees him stuck with the dregs nobody else in the Academy would touch…

A cocky diplomat with a black belt in sarcasm

A sociopath scientist with a fondness for shooting her bunkmates

A smart-ass techwiz with the galaxy’s biggest chip on his shoulder

An alien warrior with anger management issues

A tomboy pilot who’s totally not into him, in case you were wondering

And Ty’s squad isn’t even his biggest problem—that’d be Aurora Jie-Lin O’Malley, the girl he’s just rescued from interdimensional space. Trapped in cryo-sleep for two centuries, Auri is a girl out of time and out of her depth. But she could be the catalyst that starts a war millions of years in the making, and Tyler’s squad of losers, discipline-cases and misfits might just be the last hope for the entire galaxy. They're not the heroes we deserve. They're just the ones we could find. Nobody panic.

If you think “that sounds awesome” you’d be right. It is awesome. Poor Tyler Jones - he is indeed a golden boy of the Aurora Academy, but the night before the draft - the event where leader-types like him get to pick who will be in their squad with the Aurora Legion - Tyler, unable to sleep, decides to log some time in the Fold. Now, the Fold is, of course, the folds in space-time that allow for super-fun-and-quick space travel. So... a wormhole. Anyway, whilst cruising around the Fold, Tyler picks up a distress signal from a ship that famously disappeared two hundred years prior. On the ship he discovers a bunch of people dead in their cryopods. Only one is still alive: a girl with a white stripe in her hair. Tyler barely manages to rescue the girl and get back to his ship before a Foldstorm hits.

One problem, though: while he was being Heroic McHeroface, Tyler missed the draft. He, the Academy’s #1 Golden boy didn’t get to pick the cream of the crop. Nope, he’s stuck with the population of the Island of Misfit Toys.

His twin sister Scarlett sticks with him, though. So does his childhood best friend and expert pilot, Cat. The rest of the crew...well... There’s Zila, who is brilliant but not good with people.

She’s now the squad’s Brain - the Science Division type who also serves as the ship’s doctor. Yikes.

There’s Finian, a snarktastic tech genius Betraskan (a humanoid alien spices with super pale skin) who relies on an exosuit in order to move around. He’s the squad’s Gearhead.

And there’s Kal, a Syldrathi - another humanoid alien, only these look like elves from Lord of the Rings. Lots of Legolas references thrown around. Kal comes from a specific warrior cabal and has a reputation for getting into fights for funsies. He’s the Tank - the squad muscle / enforcer / bodyguard-type person.

And of course, at first sight they all can’t stand each other. But they’re stuck together as Squad 312, so essentially, they have no choice. Hurray?

And if you’re wondering “but what about the girl with the white stripe in her hair?” - don’t worry, I’m getting there. Her name is Aurora Jae-Lin O’Malley, aka Auri. 200 years ago, she was living on a dying Earth, preparing to make the journey into space to the colony-planet of Octavia. She goes into cryosleep and promptly wakes up two hundred years too late, with the Aurora Academy, and no one has ever heard of Octavia. Plus, there’s something wrong with Auri - two hundred years in the Fold will mess with your brain a bit, but it doesn’t explain why she’s got one white eye, why she can move objects with her mind, and why she starts seeing visions of the future. At first, it looks like the Aurora Academy is going to send Auri back to Earth, but instead she ends up stowing away...with Squad 312, our favorite ragtag bunch of misfits.

Only it very quickly becomes evident that the powers at be want Auri, and they’re willing to kill anyone she comes into contact with. So Auri and Squad 312 end up on the run, and they’re all forced to work together in order to solve the mystery behind Auri’s strange powers. It all seems to have something to do with Octavia: why did the colony get wiped off the map? What happened to the people there? What happened to Auri in the Fold?

Aurora Rising is the first in a planned trilogy, so, of course, we don’t get all the answers right away. There are enough answers to keep us from getting too pissed off, but enough unanswered questions to keep us on our toes waiting for the next book. And holy crap, I cannot wait for the next book. Aurora Rising starts out exciting and just continues to be exciting until the very last page (OK, maybe not the literal last page, those tend to be blank or just have information about the publisher on them, but you get my point). My one big complaint is that the one character I really wanted to get to know - Zila - gets the least amount of time in the limelight. Chapters narrated by her are mostly only a few sentences long - I know this is supposed to illustrate her blunt manner, but I was really looking forward to learning everything about what made her so peculiar. She does get a longer chapter later in the book, but we don’t learn all her secrets. And, I mean, come on, I wanted to know more about Zila, damn it! The rest of the characters are cool, though Tyler is a bit too much the bland leader-type and I had a hard time believing that Scarlett could be 18 and have over fifty ex-boyfriends (maybe they were just hookups and she just refers to them as boyfriends?). Finian’s chapters are fantastic because he is the group’s deadpan snarker - whenever things get intense, Fin’s ready to throw in some much-needed comic relief. Auri’s POV is by far the most compelling, though that may just be my own personal bias talking, because the Fish Out of Temporal Water is one of my favorite tropes ever...but it’s from Auri’s POV that we get all the Legolas references directed at Kal, and it’s just delightful.

gard...gard...gard...gard...

In essence: I needed books 2 and 3 of the Aurora Cycle sometime yesterday, please. I need full chapters dedicated entirely to Zila and her history - she’s the one member of Squad 312 we know the least about by the end of Aurora Rising, and I want to know more! Maybe because she strikes me as a fellow girl on the spectrum and I desperately want to see more accurate depictions of autism in girls, something that doesn’t just depict us as straight-up psychopaths. We’re not, we’re really not. Our brains just work differently, OK? Stop judging Zila you guys, gah!

Anyway. I fricking loved this book, from beginning to end. Am I biased because I loved The Illuminae Files and think Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff are both fantastic writers? Yeah, probably. But, once again, I must direct you to the title of this stupid little tumblr blog. I promise cromulent reviews, not good or unbiased ones. Still - if any of what I described above sounds appealing to you, then you’re going to want to read Aurora Rising. And even if you’re still on the fence, read it anyway because some rando on a dying social media platform told you to.

RECOMMENDED FOR: fans of YA sci-fi, fans of fiction featuring a ragtag bunch of misfits, anyone looking for an exciting YA cross between Guardians of the Galaxy and The Expanse.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone not a fan of YA, sci-fi, misfits, fun, excitement, joy...

RELEASE DATE: May 7, 2019 (Illuminae fans: check out Jay Kristoff’s website for details on how to get a free printed Illuminae novella with a pre-order of Aurora Rising!)

RATING: 5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED FANGIRL RATING: 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000/5.

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR SEQUELS: Olympus Mons

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY RATING:

MY FACE WHEN I REALIZED I’LL HAVE TO WAIT A GOOD LONG WHILE FOR THE NEXT BOOK:

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honorbourne · 8 years ago

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( bias list? pffft, more like a lame appreciation post! wow, so um, i never really thought i’d reach this far with say’ri?? i remember back in october of last year, i decided merely on a whim to play an obscure character in the fire emblem franchise... especially since i felt like i couldn’t do any other muse justice at the time and the fact i’ve been wanting to be a part of the fandom back while i had been an observer as an oc whom some of you might know by the url of unladylikc.

true, now that i’ve been in it, i do recognize the fact that it is less than perfect, realistically speaking? but all the same, however, it will always hold a precious place in my heart for it is the first fandom i’ve ever really joined and where i met some of the most talented writers that i had the fortune of writing with. anyways, i had always been such an insecure little bean, that more often than not, i would question if i truly belonged here.

by now of course, i kinda know my doubts are unfounded and i want to thank everyone for sticking with me through thick and thin. like i have oftentimes been saying, say’ri is a difficult muse to play, yet you all put up with that, despite my initial portrayal being a shaky one. well, before i start delving into a long winded speech, i think i’m just going to get on with addressing/mentioning cool folks beneath the cut... though do keep in mind i’m just going off by memory here for this list, so forgive me if i forget anyone. )

— FELLOW SHEPHERDS

@quiveringshaft !!

you no doubt probably saw this coming a mile away but omg, you’re so SO important to me. i wouldn’t have been here today if it weren’t for you. while i know we haven’t necessarily interacted ic on here yet, we talk enough ooc and have/had such entertaining interactions between our muses, that for better or for worse, you’ll probably be included in every bias list ever made by me.

if that isn’t enough to prove my undying love for you, as passionate as ten thousand burning suns?? YOU ARE MY OCEAN, MY STARS, MY MOON, the one who has easily been with me ever since the beginning. your wish is always my command cause i honestly strive to make you as happy as you made me. i could honestly look no further than you if i need to vent or release my inner sodium levels, lol, and to be honest, i’m glad you can easily confide in me when annoying things happen to you. it makes me feel important?? and so very proud!

not only that but we have been through a lot together. countless times already, our friendship has been put to the test over rather... unfortunate circumstances, but somehow, we managed to work it out each and every time. that to me says a lot about how strong our bond is! i’m so cheesy, i know.

@trceblade !!

GIDEON. i always feel like i somehow take you for granted?? like, you are just one of the most genuine people i know. not only do you make a point of worrying about me, you also listen to me and make it seem as though my problems are important to you as well. i am not used to being so cared about?? to this day, i am really glad we have met!

your portrayal of robin is just so unique and i love all the ideas you bring up, some of which has developed my say’ri into who she is as a princess, fighter and significant other. plus, we are part of each other’s canon? and it’s honestly sO GREAT. i always look forward to any headcanons you post and though it does take me a bit, i do quite enjoy responding to the threads we are writing.

needless to say, you will always be my m!robin.

@amnesiums / @faithled / @pridesought !!

/coughs ...i know you have other blogs but these are the ones i can only remember at the moment?? forgive me please, otl. we don’t usually talk much except over tags, but man, in case you couldn’t tell, i’m such a big fan of yours, nox!! by now, i’m pretty sure you follow me everywhere and i remember it would make my day each and every time you show up in my activity without fail.

PLUS, i really love how you play your muses and the unique spins you put into them. to this day, i respect you heaps and bounds for making your version of miriel autistic, something that made me feel valid as someone also with autism!!

on top of that... can i say that wow, i’m super gay for your robin?? i’m honestly rooting for this say’ri x f!robin ship to set sail aND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. /clenches fist

@of-invisible-ties !!

i first followed you on my oc blog but never really expected you to ALSO follow this one, cause i imagined say’ri happened to be almost as easily forgettable as kellam. BUT OH, how you proved me wrong. never did i have so many threads with someone before and so much fun too.

for a multimuse blog, you had kept me easily engaged and i really admire the fact that you can play a vast array of muses and still keep them in character. I MUST ASK, what is your secret?? lol, jk, jk. not only that, but your au ideas and the other unique ocs you have are such a treat to see on the dash. keep staying awesome please!!

@nakanaai / @apotelesmc / @faeriecrowned / @penitentinq !!

there’s possibly another url of yours i’m forgetting, omg. still, it doesn’t change the fact that i’m eternally grateful i got to roleplay with you, cati?? i love the depth you put into all the muses you play and i’M SUCH A FAN of your content. whether it be with your writing, art, super creative ocs or whatnot.

you also made me feel super welcome in this fandom and though i imagine i must be a pain, you still write starters for me anyway. thank you very much for putting up with me all this time!

— NOTABLE UNITS

( basically everyone i enjoy seeing on the dash and that i look forward to interacting with one of these days if we haven’t yet already. know that i admire you lots and lots! )

@aphoticresidence + @futureastras ll @avecantoraazul ll @royal-botanist + @aim--and--reload + @emblian-remnant ll @zimmercalla + @riivoltella ll @exaltedswordsmaster ll @exduke ll @nesufuratu ll @corvoided + @extollcd ll @lady-ylisse ll @latrocinari + @songeant ll @sozckujin ll @troubadontcha + @solumventi ll @fifthnamed ll @bladesandbushido ll @hanzaiisha + @wclfbeil ll @kazesneedle ll @valianticemage ll @valiantdarkmage ll @wcrlds-strongest ll @wolfsxin ll @litanee ll @bewitchinqs ll @butlerbourne ll @bornxsteward ll @bonyarii ll @arthur-for-justice ll @aethrax ll @aeoelu ll @ofbeastbane ll @trxubadour ll @mitrikos ll @mienakyohaku + @northfaire ll @tacentpennae ll @beastofnohr ll @kageroichi ll @fairfriar ll @grimstalker ll @princepsmarmoreum ll @priestis + @vllagr + all your other blogs ll @ofthelace ll @ofshrinkingviolets ll @izanaisms ll @caligraqueen ll @cadavrc ll @caligraqueen ll @kiniro ll @xshadow-giftx ll @xixisms ll @narxkami ll @divincr ll @divinefate ll @lanskr ll @lady-ylisse ll @exaltstolen ll @sugarstolen ll @laceur ll @heiwanoryu ll @dang-zi ll @xshadow-giftx ll @spareprince ll @sagelyexalt + @nerochoros ll @armsthriift + @farmfaiire + @raiitension ll @voyager-of-chaos ll @youmaggots ll @irafatum ll @gentlexbloom ll @chariotofhoshido ll @fxdingtofoam ll @aeoelu ll @talentedseamstress ll @rcsesthcrns ll @icetribemaiden ll @saishuji ll @nyahahah ll @willbeshot ll @victorums ll @anna-making-a-killing ll @mercperfectixn ll @fellheaven ll @princess--cynthia ll @validus + @swcrdsman ll @valorandgold ll @blessedlancer ll @noblestson ll @rosannesarcher ll @awakenedprince ll @cvlier

#〔 ❛ ♕ ⋮ OUT OF •• ─ 𝓉𝑜𝓎 𝓈𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 〕#〔 ❛ ♕ ⋮ QUEUED •• ─ 𝓊𝓃𝒹��𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝑒𝑒 〕#｡ the mun sayeth ⋮ 🌸 ››#[ yup you guessed it ]#[ it's your resident livi here being gross af ]#[ WARNING for long post and overall cheesiness! ]

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life-in-a-labrynth · 4 years ago

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This is going to be kind of ridiculous, and I shouldn't preface all of my journal entries that begin that way. I'm so self-conscious. Sorry about that.

But so I... somehow got onto the topic of noise-canceling headphones. I think I was simply curious about how they work and wanted a deeper understanding. After reading up on sound waves and inverse frequencies, I must have thought of how a colleague of mine wears noise-canceling headphones. I thought it was odd he should wear them around the office. Surely he wasn't just listening to music all the time?

And the wikipedia entry mentioned how some people wear them to hear others better. And I thought that they may be a godsend, because *I* have trouble hearing people. It used to drive my ex Angela crazy. And I'm wondering now, when did this start?

When did I become insecure about asking people to repeat themselves? Or feeling self-conscious that sometimes, I kind of smile and nod, and there's a delay in what people tell me to my understanding them. A few moments later I'll say to them "oh oh oh THAT, yes, of course".

That can't be a technical glitch, can it? It's a disability. I have ADD. It's likely been with me my whole life. I may be on the autism spectrum. It's a troubling and excessively depression thing to grapple with. One I've tried to deny for many years. And am still denying. Please note that denial doesn't necessarily signal whether a thing is true or not, even though it has those connotations.

Spoken like a true person in denial, heh. But it's crushing me, because what does it all come down to? That I feel like an unlovable freak. That I feel inferior to others. Just some big retard, am I right? And oh yes, you know this was amplified by me having my heart broken by Dawn. Fucking cunt.

I'm still in so much pain from it. I hope I can escape it soon. But dealing with this is just bringing everything back up to the forefront. Not sure what to do. What CAN I do, but accept this?

Okay so, I tried calling a hearing clinic. I left a message to book an appointment to get to the bottom of things. One thing, I remember that I got my ears cleaned out a few years ago and it DEFINITELY did improve my hearing. Whether it improved how well I understood people is a different matter entirely. It didn't.

When did I get them cleaned? I can't remember exactly, but it was around the time that I met a girl named Alyssa, because I met her at the clinic where I had it done, and was so bold as to ask her for her number. I did it on impulse. It worked. Go me.

So anyway, this was after Trump was elected and I vowed to take a break from all social media and news. And I remember feeling bummed out because I wanted to hang out with Alyssa, but her and her friend (Mary?) were down at the shore, and were texting me. And for one reason or another I became defensive and suspicious of them, like they were only texting me to tease me, and I felt left out and unloved, and... it's very toxic, in retrospect.

But I remember them texting me while I was reading Lord of the Rings, or some other book I wanted to catch up on in lieu of my usual distractions. Oh right, it was Fellowship of the Ring, probably around the time that Frodo and the gang nearly got eaten by trees that put them to sleep with some kind of sonorous sound.

Sorry for the aside, I think little derails like that are funny. So anyway, I got my ears cleaned around then, and it must have been around late November, early December 2016. I asked out Angela in March 2017. So are we to say that only after 3 months, my ears again became so clogged, that I had trouble hearing her for that reason?

No. It's a cognitive disorder. And I'm holding onto hope that it's unrelated to autism. Though the fact that I DO have diagnosed ADD can't be a coincidence. It must be co-morbid with that.

As an aside, my ears ARE mad clogged again, and I need to get them cleaned out. I blame scuba diving last May. Bla-glock.

Okay, so, now what? I think I only wanted to write this entry because I was getting distressed about god damn Dawn again. If I were to get diagnosed with some kind of autism (unlikely that they would even venture a diagnosis like that, but nevertheless), I would have to keep it as my most guarded secret.

I'm a quirky person, that's out the debate. Cunt even told me, after demeaning me, that I'm just quirky and a big weirdo but she loved me anyway. It's tough to not see her as sinister, but I don't think it so. I've never thought she acted with malice when she criticized me, then felt bad, and tried to make me feel better by saying it didn't matter, because she still loved me.

I shouldn't have listened to her. "Love" was meaningless, because by that point, she already knew we weren't going to work out. And tried to bullshit me (and herself), two months later, by saying "well I mean I DO love you, I just don't think we'll work out". Or she tried to pretend there's a middle ground between romantic love and platonic love. I'm not buying it.

I shouldn't be dwelling on this. It's just making me stressed out and depressed. But what else can I do? I feel like there's more to explore here. I brushed against it above. Where my mind might now be finally ready to accept that Dawn isn't some villain. I mean... I already know that. It's just, it's so much easier for me, emotionally, to paint her that way.

Next step? Realizing that all her criticisms were founded, oh stop! Bullshit, Dan, don't go back there. I'm not re-litigating this. She's a crazy bitch, her judgments of me were fictional, and there's something seriously wrong with her.

Yeah, there were certain times we didn't see eye-to-eye, but the way she busted my balls over it was uncalled for and disproportional. Fuck, man. Thoughts flooding back. That whole "u are teh autistic/adhd/whatever the fuck" conversation was spawned because she just told me that my trip was "comically poorly planned". And criticized me for not listening to her. And making a mountain out of a molehill. And ignoring counter-facts to what she said, i.e. confirmation bias.

Ugh. I feel ill. Okay, let's pull back. I just need to know I'm not some unloveable freak for the way I am. Okay, Dan, why don't you pose that question to other people you've met? No one else thinks that. Do you REALLY think that all the girls you've went on dates with, think that? Do you think Laura thought that way? How about Mary? How about Tinder Travel Girl? How about Jackie? How about Jewish Pizza girl?

Mehhh, you're not wrong, but they didn't get to know me deeply.

Look, if you were some unlovable freak by the way you keep painting yourself out to be, don't you think they would have noticed pretty quickly upon meeting you? Instead of being charmed by you? Laura had a whole week to lose interest, and not look really disappointed when you told her that you didn't want to date her.

Jackie, Jamie, that girl who took you home and had a dog... why did all these girls jump your bones on the first date? You're just such an unlovable freak, Dan! All the true blue sweaty neckbeards living in their basements would kill to have that kind of body count. You think incels are unlovable bastards? They only get that way from telling themselves that, otherwise they'd be perfectly normal people. YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

Do you think Elisabeth thought you were some unlovable freak? (wish I hadn't fucked that up, sigh). Elisabeth was highly intelligent - hell, read her blog! So why do you want to take the opinion of a dumbass like Dawn, whose criticisms will collapse under scrutiny?

Sigh. Okay, you're right. I feel better. I really do need to keep Elisabeth in mind way more. She's highly respectable, intelligent, empathic... just an all around great person. So if she wanted to keep dating you, then what does that tell you? Forget about Dawn, she's an idiot, good for her, NEXT.

Okay, good. I feel better now.

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perfectzablog · 6 years ago

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How Schools Can Help Teachers Understand and Address Racial Bias

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — As first period gets underway at Cambridge Street Upper School, veteran math teacher Stephen Abreu leads a small-group discussion. But the conversation isn’t about middle school algebra, and Abreu isn’t talking to students. Seven of his fellow teachers, nearly all of them white women, are sitting across from each other talking about race, white privilege and how their own biases affect their relationships with students.

“Am I just always going to be wrong?” one teacher wonders about her interactions with students of color.

“Black kids need to know they’re not being singled out,” says another, during a conversation about making sure that her students see she isn’t playing favorites when it comes to classroom discipline.

Another colleague confesses her surprise at how often teachers of color have reported experiencing racial bias in their own interactions in the building.

Each of Cambridge Street’s staff members participate in meetings just like this one every week. They’re known as cultural proficiency seminars and attendance is mandatory. Teachers describe these 45-minute sessions as candid and, more often than not, uncomfortable. But they say the discussions are helping them to become better educators within a system in which predominantly white staff teach in schools with significant numbers of black and Latino students.

The move toward cultural proficiency, also known as culturally relevant education or culturally responsive teaching, has been gaining momentum in urban school districts throughout the country. The goal is to better serve low-income students of color by acknowledging and addressing inequities built into aspects of curriculum design, classroom discipline and even student-teacher relationships. Many educators cite these as contributing factors in the long-standing academic achievement gap between low-income students of color and their more affluent white peers. The first step, cultural proficiency proponents say, is for white teachers simply to acknowledge the role that racial and cultural bias plays inside the building and classrooms. It’s a step that doesn’t come easily.

Cambridge Street Upper school math teacher Stephen Abreu is also a trained facilitator for weekly discussions among teachers about race and bias. (Kate Flock for The Hechinger Report)

In New York City, the nation’s largest public school system, a $23 million initiative is underway to combat implicit bias, the unconscious attitudes formed about racial and cultural groups different from one’s own. The centerpiece of the effort, as it has been outlined by the department to date, is a mandatory daylong implicit bias training for every teacher and administrator. But even advocates for such trainings caution that all they can really do is raise awareness of educators’ personal biases. Mitigating the effects of implicit bias on student behavior and performance requires teachers working closely with their peers, and school leaders making those efforts a priority. This isn’t a quick fix. The effort must be ongoing.

“There’s no evidence to show that a one-day training for teachers and staff will foster change,” says Circe Stumbo, president of West Wind Education Policy, an Iowa-based group that provides analysis of school equity policies. What’s needed, she says, is a schoolwide commitment to making cultural proficiency a priority, with systems in place for continual personal reflection and accountability.

That’s precisely what’s taking place at Cambridge Street, a diverse neighborhood school in which nearly 60 percent of its roughly 250 students identify as black, Latino or multiracial and more than half of all students qualify for free or reduced-priced lunch, a national measure of poverty. Attendance is nearly 95 percent, the number of students meeting or exceeding academic standards in English is on par with statewide levels and the school reported zero suspensions in 2018.

These successes are happening largely due, teachers say, to the persistent efforts of school principal Manuel Fernandez, who draws from his own experiences as a student of color in all-white schools.

“Being the only black kid in school … nobody saw my intellectual potential,” says Fernandez of his childhood in Brockton, a Boston suburb. “Everything I had ever been told about myself was that I was intellectually inferior to white folk.”

Cambridge Street Upper School principal Manuel J. Fernandez talks with students between classes, March 29, 2019, in Cambridge, MA.f (Kate Flock for The Hechinger Report )

In a career that spanned both community organizing and stints in the corporate world before becoming a school administrator, Fernandez always looked to make racial and social equity a priority. And when the chance presented itself to lead Cambridge Street in 2012, he made his intentions clear.

“I told the superintendent we’re going to deal with issues of race and culture. We’re going to deal with it every day. We’re going to deal with it in every way possible,” he says.

From the start of his tenure, Cambridge Street’s professional development sessions were peppered with cultural proficiency topics and activities. Teachers were reading books on race and education, listening to guest speakers and meeting regularly in sessions led by Fernandez. While some teachers embraced the approach, results at the school were limited, Fernandez says. He came to realize that his role in facilitating those meetings, not just as the principal but as a black man addressing a largely white staff about a topic as fraught as race, was inhibiting the type of honest and fruitful discussion necessary for meaningful change. The solution, he realized, was for teachers to be guided by their peers. Today, Fernandez says that 14 members of the school’s staff serve as facilitators in the weekly cultural proficiency meetings.

That has made the discussions more productive, teachers say, and often more difficult. Voices crack, faces flush with emotion and tears are not uncommon.

“Acknowledging as a white person that you have caused harm at some point and that you also remind a lot of our scholars of everyone who has caused harm to them up until this point, it’s hard,” says Karolyn Maws, a 20-year teaching veteran who took a job at Cambridge Street precisely because of its work around cultural proficiency.

“What we’re trying to have teachers see here,” says school counselor and cultural proficiency facilitator Kini Udovicki, “is that white people have benefited their whole lives from white supremacy and now they’re in a position of power in a classroom setting and so you have to recognize what that dynamic looks like.”

While these conversations can be awkward, teachers say they play an essential role in helping them become better at their jobs.

“In our meetings we talk about real stuff that happens around race because it happens all the time in the classroom,” says math teacher Kendal Schwarz. “Teachers want and need a space to talk about this. It feels useful. You feel the practicality of it.” This kind of dialogue, she said, was largely absent from her graduate school teacher-training program, where issues of race and bias were rarely mentioned.

Henderson Inclusion School statistics teacher Russell Thompson works with students Keran Torres (l) and Briana Manning, March 29, 2019 in Boston, MA. (Kate Flock for The Hechinger Report )

The discussions have prompted teachers to change the way they plan classes and how they interact with students. Autism specialist Rebecca Flanagan says she makes sure that the images and photographs she uses as teaching aids reflect the diversity of her students. School librarian Norah Connolly recalls learning from a group of students about their interest in Japanese manga. Recognizing the dearth of literature written from a nonwhite perspective, Connolly was quick to add dozens of titles to the library.

When science teacher Donna Peruzzi has the opportunity to bring in guest speakers, she makes a conscious choice to seek out people from a range of different backgrounds, “so the kids can see that science is not just a white male thing.”

The payoffs are perhaps most evident in how students feel and talk about their school.

“Just walking around the halls, the energy you feel here is that no matter your background, religion, skin tone, sexuality, it doesn’t matter because we’ll love and accept you anyways,” says eighth-grader Clio Bildman. She recalls a much different experience at a previous middle school she attended that was nearly all white. “One of the boys I was friends with, he was African-American. I would see him walk into school and his facial expression would change. That’s how toxic the environment was.”

Students also say they’ve been able to build strong relationships with teachers based on trust, not simply whether they share the same background or culture.

“Kids at other schools talk about how their teachers are a little bit racist, or they don’t get help from their teachers,” says eighth-grader Mariam Ziro, who is originally from Kenya. “We get the same amount of help as a white student.”

That isn’t to say that the school has magically bridged what can be significant gaps in cultural and life experiences. Teachers recall recent incidents when their comments or actions made students feel they were being singled out, often because of race. But now when these incidents occur, teachers say they feel better equipped to respond.

“Before we really focused on this, I think when students would say ‘That’s racist’ or ‘You’re saying that because I’m black,’ I would have jumped to defensive mode,” says Peruzzi. “These [cultural proficiency] conversations have helped us really reflect on what our biases are.”

Viewing education through a racial and cultural lens is not new. Carter G. Woodson’s 1933 work, “The Mis-Education of the Negro,” was an early critique of the education system’s exclusive reliance on dominant white culture to design curriculum and set standards. Afrocentric schools that began to form in the decades that followed were built on the idea that black children are best served by black educators.

Yet, urban districts serving primarily black and Latino children still face a lack of diversity in their teacher force. A growing number of schools are looking for ways to build stronger student-teacher relationships, a prerequisite, they assert, to narrowing achievement gaps in academic performance. A push is underway that draws on growing, if contested, research around implicit bias. Studies have examined the role of racial bias in everything from higher incidents of lethal force by police officers, to disparities in health care spending, to home valuations in black neighborhoods.

Across the Charles River from Cambridge Street, Boston Public Schools is now at the forefront of efforts to take a districtwide approach to fighting cultural insensitivity and bias. Three years ago, the school system’s Office of Opportunity Gaps — created to boost the academic performance of low-income students of color — began to ramp up its work around cultural proficiency. Today, with a nine-person staff and a budget of more than $4 million, it offers cultural proficiency training to every school principal and a small but growing share of the city’s teachers. Beginning in 2017, the office’s leader, Colin Rose, made cultural proficiency a component of every school’s annual accountability reports — essentially forcing schools to address bias and inequity.

Maureen Costello, director at Teaching Tolerance, an Alabama-based nonprofit that provides anti-bias training for schools, says the district’s approach to equity is “one of the most systematic” in the country. She says by making cultural proficiency mandatory, “leadership is signaling that this work is important. You can’t have it only be voluntary or else you’re only preaching to the choir.”

But the district leaves it up to individual schools to figure out how they’ll achieve cultural proficiency. School leaders say they appreciate that flexibility, but it can also translate into extra work.

“I was really unhappy with Colin when he did not give us the ‘how,’ ” says Patricia Lampron, principal of Boston Public Schools’ Henderson K-12 Inclusion School. “But what it forced us as a school to do is to think. It’s the process that’s the real important part of this work as opposed to just checking off boxes. It’s the thinking, it’s the ownership of cultural proficiency work that really forced the change.”

But she says progress hasn’t always come easily in her school, where two-thirds of students are black or Latino and the majority of its teachers are white.

There are teachers who just aren’t ready to challenge their assumptions about race, privilege and culture, Lampron says. But she doesn’t let that stop the work: “I didn’t ask anyone if they were on board. I said you’re either on the bus or you’re under the bus.”

History teacher Samuel Texeira has been a mentor for young black students at Henderson K-12 Inclusion School. (Kate Flock for The Hechinger Report )

As at Cambridge Street, Henderson K-12 began its cultural proficiency work with teacher discussions on race and privilege. One immediate result was that teachers began going through titles in their classroom libraries, adding books they felt were more reflective of their students’ experiences and interests. A mentoring program for young men of color, spearheaded by history teacher Samuel Texeira, has become a source of pride for school leaders. The school has adopted a curriculum framework designed by author and educator Zaretta Hammond, a pioneer of culturally responsive teaching practices.

“Cultural proficiency is no longer a separate thing we do once a month. It’s at the center of what we do,” Lampron says.

With the emphasis on creating awareness of racial bias and privilege among white teachers, a big challenge for Cambridge Street and Henderson K-12 is not to neglect the needs of their nonwhite teachers.

“I’m a woman of color so I feel like intuitively, culturally I already understood a lot of those things,” says Stephanie Okwudi, who teaches math at Henderson.

It’s a sentiment shared by other teachers of color.

“Do I think that diversity discussions are geared and targeted towards white people? Absolutely,” says Ariel Carmichael, a music teacher at Cambridge Street. “Do they help black people? For me they have not because I already know what it’s like,” she says of a childhood often spent as the only black kid in all-white classrooms.

But teachers at both schools say that the focus on implicit bias has made it easier for them to speak candidly with colleagues when they witness or experience racist incidents in their buildings. And at Cambridge Street, in addition to their weekly cultural proficiency meetings, teachers also meet monthly in affinity groups, organized by race. While that may seem antithetical to the whole idea of cultural proficiency, teachers of color say this gives them the opportunity to focus on their needs and concerns, which are less about building awareness of privilege and more about navigating a system that is still overwhelmingly white.

“It is an uphill battle,” says Carmichael. “Sometimes you move back five steps to move forward one. But there’s been tremendous growth. I love this school.”

This story about culturally responsive teaching was produced by The Hechinger Report, a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for Hechinger’s newsletter.

How Schools Can Help Teachers Understand and Address Racial Bias published first on https://greatpricecourse.tumblr.com/

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