#anyway reblogging the version with 'dont feel bad' bc
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I was gonna ramble in the tags but actually, here's one more mildly adjacent piece of advice:
If you're sending an email in a professional setting, please make sure your email looks legit. We get so much spam even with solid filtering if your email is shady it's gonna get yeeted.
Professional emails include:
A personalized greeting. If you know the name of the person you're writing to, put that in. Otherwise, "Dear [company name] team/support" or whatever.
A short explanation of why you're writing. YES, EVEN IF your email has an attachment with the whole text. No one is opening attachments on blank emails from unknown email addresses, nor should they. "I am writing to you about [x], I have attached [y] for reasons". Include key information in the body.
A sensible title (what are you writing about?)
Sign your name and if relevant, your organization or company. If you run a business, a custom signature with your business information allowing people to look you up will get you a lot of mileage.
and also echoing @nianeyna don't feel bad if you didn't know this, or got caught by a spam email before. No one teaches this shit, spam and phishing is insidious af, we are all fucking tired of dealing with it and it's not going away.
Also do your elderly relatives a solid and teach them this.
oh my god do not click links in emails that tell you to verify your data or your bank account gets locked or click links in messages telling you your safety protocol is ending, like, tomorrow, you will get SCAMMED SO BAD AND YOU WILL LOSE A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY never ever let anyone pressure you into giving away login information especially to your online banking by creating a sense of urgency oh my GOD
some things to look out for
1. spelling mistakes. do you know how many rounds of marketing and sales experts these things go through? if theres a spelling mistake dont click it
2. not using your name. if an email adresses you with "dear customer" or, even worse, a generic "ladies and gentlemen", it is most likely not actually targeted to you
3. verifying or login links. even IF your bank was stupid enough to send these to customers, dont EVER click those. look at me. they can legally argue that youve given your data away and thus they dont have to pay you anything back DONT CLICK THAT FUCKING LINK
4. creating a sense of urgency. do this or we lock your account next week. do this or your ebanking stops working tomorrow. give us all your money in cash or your beloved granddaughter will get HANGED FOR MURDERING BABIES. no serious organisation would ever do something like that over email or sms. ever. hands off.
5. ALWAYS CHECK WHO SENT YOU THE EMAIL. the display name and the email adress can vary a LOT. anyone can check the display name. look at the email adress. does it look weird? call the fucking place it says its from. you will likely hear a very weary sigh.
6. if its in a phonecall, scammers love preventing you from hanging up or talking to other people to have a little bit of a think about whats happening. there should always be a possibility to go hey i wanna think about this ill call back the official number thanks.
7. do not, i repeat, do NOT a) call a phone number flashing on your screen promising to rid your computer of viruses after clicking a dodgy link and b) let them install shit on your computer like. uh. idk. teamviewer.
7.i. TEAM VIEWER LETS PEOPLE USE YOUR COMPUTER HOWEVER THEY WANT AS LONG AS THEYRE CONNECTED. IF YOU DONT KNOW FOR FUCKING SURE YOURE TALKING TO ACTUAL TECH SUPPORT DONT GIVE ANYONE ACCESS TO YOUR COMPUTER.
fun little addendum: did you know a link can just automatically download shit? like. a virus? an app you can't uninstall unless you reset your entire device? dont click links unless youre extremely sure you know where they lead. hover your mouse over it and check the url.
thanks.
#tech support#it security#i need a comprehensive tag for computer shit huh#advice#anyway reblogging the version with 'dont feel bad' bc#yeah#this shit is insiduous#but also heed this advice and if you're not sure#also re: my additions: co signed the guy who sent us a (legit!) invoice in an unsigned email with no title and no body#and also the STATE EMPLOYEE who sent us PERSONAL INFORMATION on a LEGAL CASE#in an email without a greeting OR title OR legit sounding document name ffs lady you work for the STATE
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tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)
1. why did you choose your url?
growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history
4. do you have a queue tag?
nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit
7. why did you choose your header?
loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)
9. how many mutuals do you have?
idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr
10. how many followers do you have?
BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)
11. how many people do you follow?
37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont
16. do you like tag games?
YES (said in a very normal voice)
17. do you like ask games
YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad
20. what is the last song you listened to?
Mamichula- Bizarrap
21. what are you currently watching?
in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)
22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?
sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl
23. what is your current relationship status?
this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single
24. what is your current obsession?
sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm
25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?
wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021
ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt
#tag game#these are so fun im such a yapper#i love talking abt myself#sass i really appreciate u tagging me it means the world to me fr#also punctuation who????#need to fix up so bad im so bad at typing with punctuation this is AWFUL
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Hellow, i just reblogged that post about the cauldron loving elain and I have been seized with a need to figure out what the hell is going on with that so I shall read one (1) chapter if acomaf to bring me closer to my goal. For the record, I did know about the cauldron loving elain and hating nesta because idk, nesta was angry and annoying when she was dunked into it but elain was just so sweet and demure about it probably, i did not think it was. romantic love. but this is a sjm book so I was foolish to assume there would be a male character whos not insanely horny. Actually, is the cauldron even male? He is in the german version but thats just bc the word cauldron is masculine grammatically. Quick someone draw like, a tumblr sexyman humanized version of the cauldron. actually no, tumblrsexymen are traditionally twinks and sjm hates those. Quick someone draw like, a super buff shirtless man with golden hair, or whatever the color of the cauldron is
anyway, PREVIOUSLY ON: THE FLAMES AND DARKNESS LIVEBLOG we had the Court on Nightmares Under The Mountain Reenactment Scene as I like to call it and can we talk about how Feyre has known Rhys for like a year and only liked him for like half a year and yet she was perfectly fine sitting in his lap nacked and letting herself be sexualized by him. Like, I dont even have any kind of sexual trauma, you would still need to build up sooooo many years of friendship and good will for me to do that for you and you would NOT be allowed to jerk me off!! whatever, lets get on with this, its time for chapter 43
I hate that Rhysand is being all like "i shouldnt have brought you, i didnt want you to see this side of me" when its like, buddy you didnt have to do all this shit you couldve just walked in an been like "Im your high lord and demand your orb" and they wouldve given it to you because youre their high lord and youre demanding their orb. And if he thought they wouldnt have given it to him, he couldve easily come up with a different distraction he just went with the one that sexualizes Feyre because hes weirdo. Like, if hes so cruel on every other day then he shouldve acted really nicely, greeted Keir by giving him the biggest hug and being like "uncleeeee!! :D long time no see :)" and Feyre should have been dressed up as like, the embodiment of spring in pastel green soft shades of pink and but Rhysand still treats with the utmost kindness and respect, now that would throw the Hewn City for a loop
Okay so the reason Rhys broke keirs arm is because the word 'whore' triggered him which is understandable but like, Feyre thought of herself as the Highlords Whore in a very deliberate parallel to Rhysand being known as Amarantha's Whore and Im pretty sure she even straightup thought something about being in the position he had for so many years but she was like, horny about it and the narrative just isnt acknowledging it. Like, theyre not talking about it even though their mindlink was presumably open the whole time bc I remember them flirting through the link, and Feyre isnt even like "oh man, I feel bad for thinking that when its so upsetting to him" its so weird
Rhysand basically said "I will never try to protect you by locking you away, instead I will protect you by killing anyone who upsets you, even when they dont actually upset you and they just upset me" like he and Tamlin are not fundamentally any different from each other, its just that Rhysand is a coldblooded murderer. but its fine cuz he wears black leather i guess
I just realized. Rhysand had a boner when Feyre was sitting in his lap. did that go away when he broke Keirs arm or did he walk out of that meeting with his dick fully hard
Listen, maybe its just because its 3am and Im a little sleepdeprived but this conversation barely makes any sense, these bozos are just completely talking past each other at this point
Rhysand just said something about how Tamlin just locked Feyre up and let her waste away and almost die and Feyre was gonna say "He was trying his best" but Rhys interrupted her like "Dont compare me to him, stop comparing us" when she didnt say anything about that ??? my guy is projecting so hard rn he thinks theyre having a conversation that theyre not even having
And like i would argue that Feyre doesnt even compare Rhysand and Tamlin that much, the narrative definitely does it a LOT, but Ive been reading Feyres thoughts throughout this whole ordeal and I feel like she barely even thought about Tamlin since she sent him that letter
This scene is supposed this big turning point for their relationship and its clearly meant to be really emotional but the only emotion i can feel rn is annoyance with Rhysand because its like, he did have genuinely traumatic things that happened to him but not only is he barely affected by any of them, those are not even the things that the narrative brings up whenever its trying to get me to sympathise with him instead its always just "whaaaaaaa everyone thinks Im nasty and evil just because i keep doing nasty and evil things T-T"
Feyre is being very cruel but in a kinda funny way because its directed at Rhysand rn, i would insert the quote but I am in no state to translate anything at the moment but shes basically like "of course you have to hide your true self from your friends, they wouldnt wanna hang out with otherwise, you burden"
Idk why but the prose being like "my arrow struck him too deep" is so funny to me, it has the same energy as the vampire fics i read where the weird gay one gets his heart broken and he goes "it wouldve hurt less if he staked me in the heart"
Feyre is like "i cant believe he was so vulnerable and shared his sorrows with me and just threw all of it in his face" and I could not give less of a shit, but ive been on a big emotional abuse kick lately so now Im thinking about what if Feyre was just faking having feelings for Rhys in order to make him fall in love with her and be vulnerable with her only to then tell him the truth and reject the mating bond and make him completely break down as revenge for UTM. now that would actually be empowering
Now Feyre is thinking about how shes been using Rhysand for a long time now and come onnnnnn there is such a big power difference between them, I genuinely think its basically impossible for her to do that. Like, hes the most powerful guy in the history of guys or whatever, if anything you were doing bothered him that much he could simply make you stop doing it. hm. now Im thinking about what if rhysand was actually a huge masochist. Now that would actually be hot
Feyre is talking about how all the members of the inner circle suffered and are traumatized and theyve all learned to live with it and, not to extend too much sympathy to Rhysand, but all of the ICs major traumatic events happened centuries ago, his traumatic event happened one (1) year ago and it lasted 49 years i think its gonna take a little more time till hes all better
ughhhhhhh dont remind me of Amrens stupid romance subplot im gonna kill myself
Starfall is called Die Nacht der fallenden Sterne [the night of the calling stars] in german which is so much cooler and more whimsical, shoutout to my gal pal Alexandra Ernst for attempting to reinsert atleast a little bit of whimsy into this joyless world
Also, apparently its expected that Rhysand spend the first starfall in fifty years with his people, his people in this case referring to the Verlarians in the city that no one knows exists and not the people living in his courts actual capital. then again, i guess those bozos are all trapped under a mountain and wouldnt be able to watch it anyway so who cares
Amren said "hes not lucky to have us, we're lucky to have him" like yeah, hes paying you all exorbitant salaries just for being his buddies
God, amrens jacking rhys off so hard rn I cant believe she didnt wanna have sex with him when he asked
btw Im not even gonna dignify all that vaguely meta bullshit about how Tamlin is the golden prince and rhysand is the villain in the stories but the villain in stories is the guy who locks maidens away in towers and rhys freed her with anx kind of commentary because its just stupid, its just sjm bashing you over the head with how subversive she is when Tamlin and Rhysand are basically the same guy with different aesthetics at this point, like Feyre is not making a choice between the goodboy hero and the badboy villain, shes making a choice between a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (green) and a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (black)
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My thoughts on different ways to engage in a fandom and the relationships between different sides of the spectrum (how did this turn into a whole essay?)
This is a spectrum and the thing is that both sides are valid and fun, it just gets irritating to see the other side sometimes.
I understand complaining about people who mischaracterize and play with fanon versions of characters but that's how they're having fun in their hobby, they're far on the "playing with dolls side." On the other hand, sometimes people dont want to get academic sounding deep analyses on their posts or even see them on their dash so they get annoyed bc that's not what they're in fandom to see and engage with.
To be clear, my opinion is that both sides are fine and valid ways to be in fandom.
Most people are close to the middle. They want to stay true to canon but apply their own headcanons and takes and interpretations, they want some wiggle room from what's canon.
There's also ideal vs true alignment.
Ideally I would be a lot closer to the left side than I am, 3/4 of the way over or more. Realistically though, I spend a lot more time mindlessly reblogging fan content than I would like, it's my hobby and a way to destress after all. In practice I'm closer to the middle than in an ideal world where I always have the brain power and time to interact with the content how I'd prefer to.
I'm just trying to put a name to this conflict (as in opposing interests, not necessarily fighting) I see all over. People are in fandom for different reasons, some people don't care about mischaracterization or the themes of the story and that annoys people who do care. They're having fun playing dolls with the characters. Some people are really into digging deep and understanding canon and related works and that can be recieved poorly, they're just trying to find a community of similarly aligned people on this spectrum.
This is all in reference to Bungou Stray Dogs in particular and I think it's so strong in this fandom because of the literary basis of the manga as well as the countless light novels. The spectrum is so much wider here.
It ranges from anime-onlies potentially completely unaware of the classical authors the show is based on (more likely that they are aware but haven't directly engaged with anything beyond the anime) to people deeply invested in reading and understanding the original author's works and Asagiri's choices and influences.
Because there's so much content and range there's a lot more room for error. Or at least different levels of understanding between different areas of the spectrum. I can't speak to how strong the conflict or dislike between sides of the spectrum are in other fandoms but bsd seems to attract, or at least spark, a desire to engage with the characters in depth. So when a person who has done the extra reading and extra work to understand better sees (mis)interpretations of characters it creates a feeling of being better-than or more intelligent and understanding than that person. This is where I always see demeaning posts toward people with bad takes.
My point isn't that posts like that are bad or need to stop, if anything they're good for sparking discussion and conversations about more accurate interpretations. My point is to share the perspective I see and the ideas I have about it.
Being more understanding or having a more academic approach and having that "better-than" feeling is not necessarily a bad thing. Some takes are atrociously incorrect but it all comes from different levels of understanding, and some people are just here to play with dolls.
There's no way to separate different parts of fandom for how you want to engage, that would be impossible and the different levels interacting are good for the ecosystem anyways. I wish there was a way though.
#slippery slimey#bsd#okay this kinda got away from me and turned into an essay#featuring a graphic made by me!!#high quality!!#def took more than a minute!#hey guys i have anxiety if this is stupid and lame tell me and ill delete and we can all pretend it never existed#i was on a roll writing this and now it feels like the most vulnerable thing ever posting is scary:(
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OK HEY soooo sort of an update under the cut regarding sharing / other tangentially related selfship stuff !!
feel free to not read , i put it under the cut cuz its long/not super important but yea ;3
so idrk how to word this but basically since iv started hangin out on tumblr my views on selfshipping have changed a lot!!! i honestly was not expecting everyone on here to be so lovely and accepting and im so happy to be in a community i feel so comfortable in :'3
but!!! basically: with the nature of me not being open abt f/o on here things have gotten lowk really complicated LMFSJDFJHSF long story short i ended up having to sb a moot today bc i didn't realize we shared a main </3 i feel really bad abt letting that slip thru the cracks, but i just honestly did not know until i saw smth they reblogged today; and i wanted 2 respect their "dni if we share" !
however at the same time as this my views have also changed on sharing !! one week on selfship tumblr and im much more relaxed about it,,, crazy. tbh youre ALL canon and real to me even if we share cuz different versions n multiverse theory n all that. ;p SO
i realized that im comfortable interacting w/ people that i share w if it's not one of their mains, and if they state that theyre comfortable sharing on their profile bc ofc i wanna respect their boundaries!! so from now on i think thats prolly gonna be how i go about things bc it honestly just doesnt trigger me anymore yippee yahoo.
i know tht might be worrisome tho for some who dont wanna view content potentially centered around a character they *also* are dating so if that concerns you, feel free to reach out to me and ask me if we share, ill tell u!!!
or u can just block my #. 🔮 tag entirely bc that covers anything posted w The Blorbo in mind. i will never explicitly post a character tho so dont worry about being triggered either way! (yeah im prob never publicly revealing sorry)
sorry this is so long and probably WAY deeper than it actually is but im so new here and idrk the ettiquette so i just wanna make sure i dont unintentionally hurt anyone! tbh i never expected anyone to see or interact w this blog in the first place (my policy at first was . "i dont feel comfortable naming my f/o but if we share i wont interact w u!!" not accounting for the fact that ppl could interact w ME first... LMAO i just didnt expect everyone to be so nice and welcoming 😭) and im so grateful to have virtually met all u guys and ur lovely f/os ;3
anyway x o x o SORRY THAT IS SO FUCKING LONG oh my god anyways. back to ur regularly scheduled programming
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i need your cognizance … im kind of new to the al pacino fandom and ive binged watched his filmography in over 3 days and i LOOOOVED EVERYTHINGGGG but mostly just staring at his gorgeous faaaace (im rolling my eyes and biting my fist as i type this)😮💨🥵😩 but im rlly having trouble finding my footing with the elephant in the room … and that is him having a baby at his present age and dating a woman 50+ yrs his junior… like im in too deep now, i just watched his nypd episode and that’s how far ive already went😭(not complaining👀) but im also at this stage where idk what or how to feel about him doing that. obviously ive acquired an above-average-more-than-wikipedia knowledge about him (i like him a normal amount, trust me) and i won’t willfully overlook the fact that he’s kind of a womanizer and one that is commitment-phobe, so i guess him having new girlfriends isn’t out of the blue but to date someone THAT young? like that could be ur daughter😭 in fact his eldest daughter is a few yrs older than his current gf
anyway what im rlly trying to say is, i need u to weigh in on this and pls tell me ur opinion. ive read ur impressive work and it encouraged and inspired me to read the godfather as a book, and not just settle on watching it. and with that in mind i thought u were the right person to provide insight on this. as u can see i love al so much, im actually thinking of making myself a bday cake with his picture on it, similar to a pic i reblogged a few days ago, but im soooo conflicted on this. like i truly am. i know it’s bad to have parasocial relationships w celebrities (especially younger versions of themselves OMG) (but im rlly not i just love him sm and admire him) but im at this phase where im afraid that finding out more of his humanly desires would disappoint me? and yes ppl might say i shld avoid putting celebrities on a pedestal bc they rlly dont give a fuck abt who u are😵💫 and i would definitely love to be one of those ppl that could simultaneously admire a person for their achievements and recognize their kind behavior but also acknowledge their wrongdoings … but if i do that isn’t it kind of telling on my end, of my behavior and shaky moral compass😫? or, now that im in too deep, maybe im just trying to maintain this idealized version of him in my head and this is simply a reality i refuse to accept😭? bc honestly when the news broke out a lot of ppl were divided, with most responses pandering to eerie and just odd reactions, but a small minority claims a different take, along the lines of ‘if two consenting adults wanna make a family then why not’ and this rlly bugs me bc ??? apart from it being an awfully lazy analysis there’s just SOO much to unpack about this situation. like theres just way too many layers and there’s nuances too. one of the replies actually said men at the age of 60 should already be neutered to prevent from procreating ever again and why i kinda agree to it ?? 😶 like im so conflicted … like i rlly am … this is eating me out and consuming me i honestly dont know what to do.
anyway IM SO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING AND FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS … im sorry for the overcomplication … pls take ur time in answering this im rlly sorry id rlly appreciate ur stance on this … I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH IT KEEPS ME SANE. especially with the gifs🥰🥰🥰🥰 bc of u i still get to fuel my indulgences. THANK YOU
Ah my dear, welcome to the Pacino fandom, first of all. 🤣❤️ We Pacino girlies welcome you with open arms here lmao I know exactly how that intense ass Pacino brainrot can hit and how hard too. 🥵
You're right first of all about the fact that there's a lot to unpack beyond the "it's two consenting adults in a relationship" piece but here's the thing, it's not meant for us to unpack. At the end of the day, all we can do is hear news, gossip and read articles about Al's relationship and this and that but we don't know how much of it is actually true and what's really going on, and we can't know. It really has nothing to do with any of us, and those two don't care what the public think either. It's Al and his gf's private life and judging on how shit broke out, they seem to have a lot more to worry about on their plate than anyone else's reactions.
Al is basically a womanizer from what I've read lmao. He always really has been and I know things obviously changed when he got older but an early article that came out saying Al and his gf are dating mentioned the age gap doesn't bother either of them and his gf has dated men around the same age and even older than Al. This is their personal and private life, after all. Men can have children at a very old age, this is just how science works lmao although it can be baffling at 80+, it's still a thing. From what the gossip online says, it looks like this was an unplanned thing and Al isn't doing so good. He doesn't seem to be jumping over the moon about everything from what I read either. I think this is hard for him, tbh.
And some people may think it's weird someone as old as Al is still having sex but given his track record, I'm not surprised at all lmao. To avoid disappointment from celebrity parasocial relationships and putting them on pedestals, you need to come to an understanding that you're also recognizing and putting up (in a way) their flaws on that pedestal too. Al is not a perfect human being, nobody is, but he isn't out here trying to be perfect or live up to anyone else's definitions either nor should he.
I love that you admire and love Al like the rest of us, but you also need to come to an understanding about the things he's done or said or whatnot that you don't agree with or necessarily like. He's just a human being at the end of the day, it's so complex. Don't think too hard on it, because everyone has their flaws and mistakes and as we recognize this, we can still love them for the great things they do. That's really the only thing you need to do.
I think the fandom as a whole looked way too far into this man's personal life. It does not effect us whatsoever and it's honestly none of our business. Al doesn't owe us anything and he's not trying to be a role model to us; we shouldn't be this held up about his personal life. I know it can be hard not to care, but sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge it, accept it, and move on.
I would also recommend reading the biography "A Life on The Wire" by Andrew Yule. It has a lot about Al's life from early days, to romance, to his personality and everything inbetween. It's seriously extremely detailed and gives you a whole new insight on just who that man is!
Feel however your heart wants to feel. You don't have to get held up in Al's personal life like others or form a strong opinion just because someone else has. Something like this doesn't need to stop you from admiring what a phenomenal actor Al is and how he's a fine ass man too. 😭
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ok so...we all saw the flurry of Bandom Racism discussion happening. and i have...thoughts.
i know this is late, in theory because i wanted to get my thoughts together, but honestly mainly because i didnt know what to say, so part of me was annoyed that i felt obligated to say anything at all. bc im not nearly as active in bandom as my blog probably makes it look, i didnt learn 90% of the Lore until september and all of that i learned from mcrblr. im new! i dont know about any of this! much less about the racism. so...why am i expected to talk about it? what is there for me to say?
...and over the past few days, its slowly sunk in for me that thats exactly the point.
of COURSE i dont see the racism in the fandom, or know what to say about it. because either none of the other white liberal fans in my circle do, or we just... dont talk about it. and i think when we do know, we dont talk about it, because we feel like its not our place. we dont know what to say, and especially if we feel like we had any hand in it, we're... embarassed? i know i am. and like...i hesitate to list examples, because i dont want to come across as self flagellating. one, because its got to be annoying for people of color, and two, because...i dunno. i dont want to make other white people think thats whats required, to be anti racist? because i think thats one of the assumptions we're laboring under, like...we've created this environment of really aggressive Discourse, so when it comes to racism, and unpacking our own...we talk in really vague terms, we never get past the "UwU!!! Dont Be Racist!!!!" PSAs because naming our own transgressions means admitting to wrongdoing, which is embarassing at the best of times, but in the very spaces we've created, generally being found out as Doing Something Wrong means getting jumped on by other white people for the purpose of their own moral preening so no one will suspect them of the same. so...why willingly subject yourself to that? especially if whatever you have to say, whatever it is in your behaviour you want to discuss, may be triggering to people of color. simply not mentioning it feels like the better - and safer - option.
but...thats what leads to us not knowing enough about all this to feel confident talking about it in the first place.
i dunno. last week, im one of the people who looked right at that piece of art with franks rising sun tattoo, and went... "huh. hey, theres that tattoo he got covered up because it was offensive. i should look into that. ...anyway, cool art!" and hit reblog.
and like...once people started talking about it, (theres one specific post, forget who its by, someone talking about mcrs history with anti asian racism, great post thank you for making it) i felt...bad? but i also felt kinda defensive. in thinking back on it, i was like..."well, im glad to know that now. but dude im not familiar with his tattoos. i kind of assumed what i was looking at was the covered up version where its sort of peeking through. idk it was a watercolor it was kinda garbled. i wont blame myself for not thinking any harder than that."
and then i was like... okay but. if im honest with myself, thats still bad. because it doesnt matter, since i probably wouldve reblogged it anyway, just assuming it was for the sake of photo accuracy or what have you...because i still didnt fucking know or care what the rising sun flag was.
which was the whole point.
because if i HAD. if i HAD done my research when id first heard about it, months ago, i would have recognized that art for what it was and treated it with the wide berth it deserved and avoided it regardless of my knowledge of his stupid fucking tattoo. but i didnt, for a host of reasons. mainly executive dysfunction, general stress in my personal life (nunya bidness) and...if im being honest? i just didnt want to, because...i hate self teaching. i have adhd. i was homeschooled, it was really traumatic, i flunked all of highschool and had to get a GED. my reading comprehension and attention span are piss poor. so i didn't feel like looking into it. i didnt feel like giving myself a whole impromptu history lesson. i opened one wiki page and instantly got overwhelmed.
but thats also the point. because all those reasons for not doing my due diligence and reading up on why asian fans are so pressed about the rising sun tattoo? or why black fans want nothing to do with 21p? the same shit probably applies to them! they don't feel like doing it either, we just give them no choice until eventually they make giant ass posts, comprehensive, easy to digest, step by step posts, for the express purpose of doing what we all refuse to do.
and, again, theres that feeling of guilt. guilt and shame, because im admitting to this, and because i know how reading this is gonna make other white fans feel, because i just went through the exact same set of feelings, and its uncomfortable as hell. so i can only imagine how fans of color have felt.
im not making this to browbeat white fans, or to self flagellate to fans of color. this isnt a soap box or a confession booth. im just.. talking. so lets talk. im gonna be honest, i still havent done real research into the rising sun flag. im literally just now looking at the wikipedia page for imperial japan, which i just now opened, and i still feel just as overwhelmed. (does anyone have good material on learning about this? if i find any, ill post it in reblogs.)
but...yeah. this isnt an UwU!!! Dont Be Racist!!!! PSA. this is uhhhh...We're All A Little Racist, Lets Talk About It So We Wont Be. an open letter, i guess. cause we're doing and saying racist shit, intentionally or unintentionally, whether we realize it or admit it or not, and i think the majority of you who have read this far are, like me, mainly doing so through inaction. and i think the more we ignore that, the worse this feeling will get. so...lets stop ignoring it. i know we all just did exactly that, i saw it happen, i was part of it, i get the reasons why. but its delaying the inevitable, and more importantly, we're hurting other people because of it. so...lets just get it over with, it cant be any more embarassing than burying our heads in the sand.
#finnposting#bandom#racism#bandom racism#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#frank iero#ray toro#mikey way#fob#fall out boy#patrick stump#pete wentz#joe trohman#andy hurley
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reblogs cause yeah, anyway, this is the queer, nd, chronic illness, version of this.
fun sexy time, but morning after i actually do like them. i think we should be friends.
craft hang-out night turned weekend sleepover
meeting up to walk their dog with them. shit. we forgot doggie bags. i'll go back. you stay here. no no, you stay cause your-- thing. flaps hand. you can't. i'll go. i'll be back soon i promise.
picking up their prescription at the pharmacy bc you're up late anyway. might as well do something productive. hah yeah no, i needed um... i needed midol anyway. so. im here. here-- take this. no, you have to-- here. there. takes off the fkn prescription paper and hands over the bottle. and the pharmacist said to call if you have any weird symptoms. i wrote the number on the bag. hey. with food, okay? food. points at instructions. not coffee. no-- redbull doesn't count. no, not even the blueberry. here-- for fucks sake. here. eggos-- you-- you like these right? where's your freezer?? shoves way into their appartment
convincing each other to schedule the scary doctor appointment.
sitting in the corner chair at the dentist with them. them holding your hand while you're getting blood drawn at the doctor's.
sleepovers, more hanging out. sharing hulu passwords and watching eachother's fave shows/movies. prob adventure time and fkn regular show.
oh! you like my sweater? no. i don't know the brand. the tag's off. uh... it... was bothering me. i dunno. you can just have it, it looks.. nice. on you. anyway. hm? you're hungry? oh, i have half a trader joes oven baked mac n cheese at my place. i mean, if u wanu. i know you like it. its gluten free. i know you uh... can't have um... bread and stuff. i dont like it but i thought id-- a-anyway. i can drop it off for you for lunch. no, i don't mind. yeah, no-- i have to come by anyway.
weird dream about them. sharing said weird dream and looking up the meaning together. dude. are you... yknow.... eyes them. ...gay? or sth? stfu you bitch. i think i was just exhausted. doesn't mean anything about you. (it totally does. omg it fuckign does. like totally)
ok. now i am afraid,,, i must admit,,,, there have been,,, feelings,,,
cuddle time on couch watching dr who. ok i guess we just kissed. okay. um. i like that.
i guess? we are in a relationship now? I think?
babe. babe. we're out of tampons. and razors. and i want to dye my hair. (only one of these things was actually accomplished. so now you have pink hair and they have blue armpits and bangs)
becoming each other's accommodation spokesperson. (oh, you wanna cancel plans with them? okay. well. did you TELL them you were having a bad mental health day? no? babe. we talked about this. ok. im gonna type something up. you read it, then send it.) (beeb. my love. you need to eat. look. made u some soup. and brought you some sprite. yes, yeah-- yeah, i know. i followed a recipe. just for you. anyway, here. feel better. i guess ill sit here and watch you eat it. cause i love you or whatever. ...do you want saltines? oh, fuck. thats right. so... uh... like, just salt??)
6 steps of a relationship according to montenegro
spend the night
spend the weekend
exchange keys
sexy weekend getaway
extended vacation
move in together
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♡ zhongli having a shy! s/o
"There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved." recommend listening to: boyfriend - ariana grande
• zhongli is quite reserved, and so are you! perfect match <3 • he's very understanding, whenever you feel bad bc zhongli wants to go out to dinner with you but u dont want to go and he says it's "okay" and that u guys could go "another time" • u feel terrible but he understands. (will always) • he doesn't mind u being timid and shy all the time. • he finds it quite amusing when u get all bothered up even when he does the littlest things. • tho zhongli isn't quite the talker, he's really good at observing and noticing little things - like if ur feeling uncomfortable or feeling down, even if u dont show it. • he likes to protect u from weird people :) if they ever seem to bother you or just make you feel uneasy, he'll step in right away. • sometimes ur too shy to say "no" or back away • if the person is taller than u and more bulky most times u just stand there in fear - u never know if they might jump you or worst, kill u. • but no need to worry! ur bf is here to save the day. • as i said before, zhongli is understanding. whenever you feel a bit shy to talk he'll talk for u, he knows what ur thinking/trying to say as "your emotions are written all over your face". • LOVESSSS it when u hug him from the back! whenever u do that he just lightly grasp your arm or wrist and just sway left and right <3 (can u imagine that?) • let me do another version of what i just said ^ • so lets say u hug zhongli from the front, and ur feet are on his and he just holds your arm or wrist and sways right and left, it's so cute.. • (i got that idea bc i used to do that w/ my dad but not anymore lol) • anyways, he enjoys ordering food for u! why? cuz he just does. • but sometimes - zhongli will encourage you to speak more often, he wants to hear your beautiful voice. • zhongli will buy luxurious clothes for u when he has the money. • ALWAYSS admires your form when wearing the clothes that zhongli has picked out for u. • he praised u for doing a good job, as he knows that ur quite shy and normally dont try on these type of clothing. • if ur ever insecure - he'll always cheer u up with some food and sooth u with him calming and honey-like voice. • finds it cute when u cover ur face with ur hands whenever he compliment/praises u <3
a/n: if u enjoyed this pls check out my other genshin hcs/like + follow + reblogs r appreciated <3
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i personally am not a fan of sarah z and my sibling and i were actually talking abt it earlier today. are we allowed to know the context? the fact that she blocked you itself is already hilarious
YEA i'll try to keep the details vague tho cuz I don't wanna start shit (and I ask that no one reblogs this or spreads it in any way for that same reason) but basically, someone who i follow responded to a post she made where they pointed out some flaws/blindspots in an argument she was making and then a bunch of ppl who follow her proceeded to come into said person's inbox n generally caused this person immense stress for the rest of the day which was obviously not nearly as stressful for me as it was for them, but upsetting nontheless to see how careless her response was to a smaller blog that of course would get a ton of fucking hate for criticizing her based on what the subject was (hence why I'm keeping this all vague... ik its generally unfair to not present the situation in its entirety but again im not posting this to start anything anyway and dont wanna re-stress that person out most of all) ...
but the reason its funny that she blocked me as result of this situation is cuz her response to how the person responded to her original post was that she hates how 'ppl online will always read everything in bad faith' or wahtever n then proceeded to block me, a stranger, bc i literally just... liked the version of the post that was rb'd by the person i follow?... so its just hilariously ironic to me that, again, even tho i didn't rb the post and therefore i didn't add my own thoughts or feelings on the matter in favor of either side-- she went ahead and blocked me anyway cuz i interacted w the person who responded critically to her.. like. oh the beautiful fucking irony LMAOOO
i used to watch her videos n generally thought they were well-researched n enjoyed them at that time, but I had stopped watching them by the time this all went down anyway n just unsubbed after the whole thing. not even cuz I was blocked but again I just thought the way she reacted to the criticism was over the top bc she wasn't rlly dogpiled at all over their response to her post and it wasnt a super scathing/rude criticism in the first place from what i remember but... yeah. i dont rlly think abt her or her videos nowadays but i sometimes see her url cuz someone i follow rb'd from her or smth n so I click on the rb n then cant see the blog n im like 'wait wh...?? ... o yeah that's why' KJFNDFGK so that's all!
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man fatphobia in tma fandom... i hated how none of the other characters were ever drawn as fat. no one else just the soft uwu squishy bean (how fandom characterized martin actually made me hate him by the 3rd season lol) which is like... i made me So Uncomfortable as a fat person. and the way jon was portrayed as unhealthy skinny got like.. borderline fetishy at times especially in fic and like. its hard for me to blame this on other people and i wouldnt want anyone who wrote him like this to see this ask and feel bad but the constant waxing poetic abt like his thin wrists and exposed ribcage and whatnot was genuinely super upsetting to me and really effected my body image especially because the only fat character they ever thought to write was like... idk how to describe it really but like there was a very clear disparity in the way they were described and meant to be related to by the reader u know?
also straighttma my beloathed... they had this like disgustingly fatphobic post about flesh avatars (cw for extreme fatphobia but if u just search for "straighttma fatphobia" in the search bar it should be the first thing). i understand its a parody blog but some of the posts and that post in particular especially was just legitimately upsetting. especially since it was anon submitted and i have no way of knowing if thats coming from a thin person or not... and in general i dont really find an expicitly bigoted version of a show particularly funny. like ive definitely made and enjoyed jokes about like characters being cishet reddit bros or whatever which i think comes with an implication of bigotry but... idk i just didnt like it
my response gets long so readmore time. i posted under some tags for bl, if youre in one of these tags and see this id prefer no reblogs on this
i never really got into fanfiction in general aside from reading maybe one or two on sparse occasion, so i cant lie and say ive experienced similar to you, but based on the art ive seen during my time liking the podcast, those descs of martin & jon do check out. (aside from that one artist with tall & fat jon, that was cool.) im sorry youve experienced that, i know one of the reasons people participate in fandom is to find belonging and seeing someone portray people like you in an unempathetic way in that setting must have been incredibly hurtful. i think its important for any media creator to understand that when they write diverse body types, sexuality, race... etc, that their intention shouldnt be to score diversity points, but to communicate to readers that arent cishet white thin abled (etc) that your artwork is also for these people
also god i forgot about straighttma... i couldnt find the post you were looking for bc tumblrs search is busted as hell. i think straighttma was kind of funny as like a 1-post idea maybe but as an entire blog idk, especially since the whole show was ALREADY full of shit youd expect from a white british guy. its sort of like, oh heres a way to sort of imagine awful people in a joking context (and i feel like white people are often looking for a reason to make racist jokes anyway), and also simultaneously makes the indirect statement of "arent we so grateful that the show and creators ARENT like that? arent we glad to get good representation?" even though the show and representation sucks ass honestly. its like the opposite of media criticism
i know i keep going back to this point and i absolutely dont intend to direct attention away from what youre saying bc youre 100% correct, but it feels like the fandom would have done everything in their power to kiss jonny sims pasty ass and defend him to the death. and it was incredibly stupid.
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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25
I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!
...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)
So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????
Yeah, probably.
Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(
> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair
Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?
Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.
Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.
When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.
You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.
He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.
Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?
> (==>)
Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.
> (==>)
Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?
ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?
Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)
ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered
YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT
ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin
Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.
JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.
Hah.
JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.
Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~
> (==>)
EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--
ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.
Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room
Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC
Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap
John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?
I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU
> (==>)
Yea this seems like a fucc room.
JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there
So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”
ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good
Ah geez.
ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!
Well, that’ll buff out easy.
ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.
Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)
Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.
That would be the feeling.
> (==>)
MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit
She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it
JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--
So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.
> (==>)
ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.
OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:
ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting
boot knockin XD
ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.
Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.
Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)
John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?
Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.
He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.
Just put your feet up yeah
> (==>)
WHAT A CUTE IMAGE
JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud
she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far
ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened
Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)
ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"
Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john
JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.
I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.
ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.
Oh shit
ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep
Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?
ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on
It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little
ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences
OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement
ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind
Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?
First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,
Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.
This feels stupid.
ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit
Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.
You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?
ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?
Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.
> (==>)
JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here
THANK FUCKING CHRIST.
If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.
ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good
Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it
ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push
eyeroll, but yeah, of course
> (==>)
Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.
> (==>)
Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????
That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or
ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean
Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)
JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me
I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.
> (==>)
JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^
Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.
> (==>)
THEY’RE SO CUTE
JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u
Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).
CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.
Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?
CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^
Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~
JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.
Uh oh.
Hopefully babies aren’t involved.
JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.
Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?
JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.
Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.
CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)
And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.
CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):
Yeah shake him out of this shit.
ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u
Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.
CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)
This is all gold
ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.
Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.
CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!
No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?
CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.
What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.
CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!
So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?
JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.
Um, what?
CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...
No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).
CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.
Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?
ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)
Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.
JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol
YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK
ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.
..............................
OOooooh, kay.
Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!
They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.
ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?
Love with who? Callie, John, both?
In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.
Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.
> (==>)
Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????
Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.
JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska
No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.
JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!
How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.
Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.
#Homestuck#hs2#Homestuck Liveblog#upd8#Homestuck^2#spoiler#spoilers#Roxy Lalonde#John Egbert#Calliope
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So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.
Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask.
I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!
You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it.
In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.
I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF.
This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.
Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community.
Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.
So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.
As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.
I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.
More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.
When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.
If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.
Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?
When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?
The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.
To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.
Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.
Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)
If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless.
Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.
It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well.
As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.
In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:
Remember we are writing fiction
Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and
Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships
RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags.
Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn…
Some bonus fun facts!
At the time I am writing this, on AO3:
26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E
26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E
29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E
34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E
40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?
#asks#my writing#fic & fandom#I keep coming back to fiddle and add things to this answer#but I think I've said all I wanted to now...
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anyway my like last/second to last reblog made me think about this so caesar crusader au woot woot also it got kinda long so here’s a cut for those who dont wanna scroll through all that <3 also i didnt proofread so sorry i just dont care enough </3
first things first let me get the set up;; caesar joseph nd suzi all live in the same house u can interpret it as ot3 or just caejose and suzi is there to vibe w them and help joseph convince caesar to get into trouble, it’s however u want it
then either cause ot3 or suzi agrees 2 be a surrogate, holly is born, joseph’s still the dad like genetically but she’s raised by all three of em essentially and still ends up just as bubbly as she is in canon, except there is no absolute fuckign way she doesnt know hamon because caesar would never, and i mean NEVER, let his kid grow up w/o such a useful trick up her sleeve
then holly gets married, joseph embarrasses both suzi and caesar by how hostile he is towards sadao, caesar is more likely to cuff him over the head bc of it, so there’s that. doesnt change much ig but makes joseph thinks a LITTLE bit more before lashing out JKF;JFJ;S
jotaro comes along and he is caesar’s BOY ok. caesar just gets him. his quiet and calm demeanor (ik caesar isnt necessarily like that in general but around kids he is and as he gets older he’d give off that vibe more as he mellows out) made jotaro feel rlly relaxed around him and as a result he’s v open to him. joseph and suzi ofc have a relationship w jotaro as well but it isnt hard to see there is a bit of favorites playing, especially once jotaro grows up and really starts closing off to most ppl
caesar tries to encourage him to open up more to his family again, but this just ends up with him getting cut off as well. it’s sad ):
in the meantime tho joseph meets avdol and develops his stand. with avdol and caesar combined, they can kinda wrangle joseph into being productive w his energy, but theyre not full-proof. nothing will ever be full-proof against joseph
caesar nd avdol would get along rlly well me thinks. caesar would teach him sum italian and avdol would teach him so arabic. caesar wouldnt have a stand, but since stands r kiiiiinda described as just more intense versions of hamon, caesar can see like outlines of stands if he’s looking at them through one of his hamon bubbles. he only figures this out w avdol’s help. theyre buds
then they find out abt dio thanks to joseph’s stand and they all kinda. get srs. it’s time to search and all that for this fucker. caesar’s pissed cause his grandfather died for no reason now then, same w joseph. avdol helps them navigate the stand world as they search
honestly all is relatively well mostly but then. sdc begins
caesar hasnt heard from jotaro himself for like two years when holly calls them in a panic over him being in jail. og just caesar and joseph were gonna go, but then avdol brings up jotaro mightve developed his stand, since stands r kinda genetic, so they bring avdol along too cause he’s the expert here
they get there, jotaro calls his mom a bitch and is otherwise disrespectful and moody as fuck, and caesar is frankly just disappointed more than angry/frustrated, th opposite of joseph. this makes jotaro feel worse tho KJFN;;N
avdol gets him out tho, they head out. caesar scolds jotaro for snapping at holly and joseph when the only things they ever did were show care for him, and jotaro snaps at HIM in return. fuckin teenagers. caesar changes tactics then and tells jotaro about how he used to be a street thug and all that, and how he cut himself off from his family in an effort to keep them safe (as did his dad mario zeppeli and joseph’s mom djkndje;dn why do bad coping skills run in the family), but it didnt work and instead it just put them in more danger and unjustified/meaningless emotional turmoil. jotaro gets thoughtful over this
then jotaro heads to school and accepts his kiss from holly w/o much fight, just wordless grumbling. it’s a start, caesar guesses
then jotaro comes home with a fucking bloody body only an hour later BHILDFHUDHUJN;
avdol talks abt the fleshbud, caesar is concerned cause jesus h christ, that is a child, kakyoin was only 16-almost-17 when he got fleshbudded, it’s been months, holy shit ??? jotaro must have the same thoughts cause he goes to pull the fleshbud out to everyone’s panic
they decide to let jotaro do it tho and jotaro does, just like in canon. kakyoin’s still rlly rattled but w caesar nd holly both telling him it’s ok and jotaro’s weird ass “why did i save you? who knows.........” thing, he calms down
then holly gets stand sickness and everyone freaks out, even jotaro! kinda. he reacts much the same he did in canon except maybe a lil more frantic cause he had literally JUST decided to clean up his act and now his mom is dying. he wants to show her he knows better now. it’s rough.
caesar considers staying just to watch over his daughter esp cause he doesnt have a stand so it’s like, what would he even do, but then jotaro and kakyoin say theyre going and caesar is like “ok no. ur children.” “that’s my mom. im going either by myself or youll let me go with you.” “christ”
so caesar tags along just to keep an eye of these crazy kids and yeah
this is ending up as a whole fucking fic draft or some shit so im gonna stop here but if anyone is curious on my thoughts on how caesar would continue to affect things from here, lemme know nd ill elaborate. im PRETTY SURE...caesar being around would lead to avdol and kakyoin living cause hamon’s healing abilities, nd since he doesnt have a stand he kinda just ends up as team medic SOOOO....
anyway thanks for reading all thsi if u did JKD;JN;
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ok so im just gonna pick at fr from a web designer pov because looking at this site on mobile will drive me into madness if they don’t fix it at some point. The rest of this post will go under a read more because it’s both super long and image heavy.
before i hit mobile though, I’m going to point out some things i just don’t personally like in general with the site design (and yes i am conscious that they are slowly updating to a new look)
this will come as a shock to no one, if you’ve seen previous web design related posts by others anyways, but i cant. stand this menu
[ID: A cropped screenshot of Flight Rising’s Main Menu]
fr, understandably, has a shit ton of links. it’s a petsite with lore and all that, whatever. The thing that bothers me specifically is the length of links and where some are placed.
1. i BELIEVE this counts as an accessibility issue where longer links kinda trap shorter links, goes into misclicks to other pages in the site, etc. etc. 2. i don’t think. the search link should be under library personally ? Maybe make it its own category.
Dev Tracker & Media could go under this category, possibly add separate links to forum, player, and dragon searches with updated formatting
Dressing Room and Scrying Workshop could go under the “Play” category
Forums can be it’s own category with possible subcategories being: Announcements & News, Help Center, and Flight specific discussion forum, maybe more
Library category could then just be: Which Waystone, World Map, Game Database, and Encyclopedia.
Support should be it’s own category.
One thing on the shop category, and i hesitate to say this because im not CONFIDENT on this one, but I’m not sure Custom Skins exactly fits? or at least, it should be Purchase Gems -> Marketplace -> Custom Skins, not between crossroads and festive favors
Merch should probably go under purchase gems, and they should maybe uhh..... i guess change the name for it overall? because 1. “merch” alone does NOT look good with its placement, 2. its another actual money purchase thing and I think those should go on the same page
Along with that, in putting merch under that page, they could put previews of the merch with a button to go purchase instead of immediately going to their merch site (which to begin with it should open in a new tab if its going to a separate site?!!)
then this is a mix of both not liking it on laptop OR mobile,
[ID: A cropped image of Flight Rising’s Clan Home page. The Bestiary link has a bright red box highlighting it]
Obviously these pages are old, but the graphics need to be updated, and there needs to be graphics for every link in the category-- seeing with this category alone there isn’t a graphic for the Bestiary already. On top of this they need to be in link order preferably. if they had a normal dropdown menu for mobile, mobile users wouldn’t be able to access the bestiary unless FR wanted to be STUPID and do further dropdown menus w their 200 links which would be STUPID and CLUTTERED
also in my opinion the Messages link isn’t necessary since we have the button at the top. If they put it there as an excuse for accessibility, they can just. add text to the buttons. like here’s a scuffed mockup but.
[ID: Screenshot of Flight Rising’s Messages, Friend Requests, and Alerts icons edited to have Messages, Friends, and Alerts written next to the icons]
for the friends tab, they could prolly add friend requests at the top like they do for baldwin alerts, then have an online status thing for friends below with buttons to PM, trade, delete friend, etc. I think you’re already able to disable the online status thing with page visibility? but like, make those options separate if you dont wanna block off your entire page, but dont want to be seen online.
For mobile, they can just make the icons bigger.
then. i THINK. last thing on laptop site.
[ID: A screenshot of Flight Rising’s Social Media links with old Logos to YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and DeviantArt]
update these fucking icons they are personally killing me, none of these logos are in use anymore (ALSO UPDATE THE TUMBLR THEME JESUS CHRIST)
ok now for mobile. what this post was originally for.
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as you all know, if you visit this site on mobile, there is literally no form of a mobile version for it. It is just a condensed version of the computer version of the site which is...Very Bad!
Most of a sites visitors are going to be through mobile, i forget the exact percentage, but like it’s almost a given that people more readily have their phones with them than their laptop or tablet (which. im not going to bother with the tablet version, you can apply both computer and mobile criticisms to the site). in fact a lot of my time on FR is through mobile since I’m not at home 24/7 and I don’t tote my laptop around. Playing this game through it’s mobile site is Not Fun!
I like, won’t be too pissy or anything bc like. it’s a petsite and I’m making this post for fun. but also like it was made in 2014? 2013? so I’m not going to be u kno. angry. but it nearing the point of ten years with this site and there still isn’t a mobile friendly version. that is lazy. If anything, if they wanted a site update to be the anniversary thing, they should’ve made that update be
Mobile update as primary thing, because designing the site for mobile is a shit ton of work with the amt of pages they have to work through.
Dragon Profile page update (*LOUD SIGH*)
Clan page update
Hoard update (i have thoughts on this too but i wont dive into it this post)
Purchase Gems page update
Dev Tracker update
Forums update
“but that’s a lot to update” well. that wouldve made the anniversary being a website update considerably more worth it, because in my opinion having the dragon profile pages be the ONLY thing to happen during the anniversary was a waste and a bad decision, because other website updates are just. normal whatever updates. it made the anniversary SUPER underwhelming especially bc the past ones (to my knowledge) have only been major game mechanic updates like the eye & ancients update and i believe? the color wheel expansion was an anniversary thing? someone can correct me on that I haven’t played this game as long as most LMAO
as for how i personally would situate the mobile site. shitty graphic time, bc im not putting too much effort into this (warning this will be LONG)
[ID: Image 1. A crudely put together screenshot of the top half of a Mobile View of Flight Rising with comments on either side. It ends with the Latest News segments “Riot of Rot” and “Hoard & Vault Revamp”
Comment 1, Left side: “no banner make it a solid color that matches the burger menu. size the logo correctly etc. Comment 2, Right side: “burger menu w ONLY the categories, goes to the homepages of the categories” Comment 3, Right side: “TWO latest news posts, maybe a button to go see earlier news (which may b something to add to comp too)” Comment 4, Right side: “center dates and comments maybe idfk”
At the bottom of the image there is an added “button” that says “more updates button”]
[ID: Image 2. The bottom half of the mobile view with comments on the left side. There is a put together white box that has the Plague Flight Logo and “plage dom !” written in it. Below it are the Site Status, Random Dragon, and Exalt Bonuses boxes from the site. Underneath that is a red box with “ad space” in the center, with a red footer at the bottom.
The footer contains, “social media! (specifally made icons for site)”, “better formatted links”, and “copyright”.
Comment 1: “idk what they would caption it but the flashy can go here.” Comment 2: “ONE site status update if they keep this format” Comment 3: “probably center these links. i dont know what they use to build the site but im sure you can make icons for social media on just about anything unless this is all handcoded. just. make small icons it takes two seconds and you can copy+paste”]
i dont even want to THINK about how the lair and all that would look on mobile, it was a chore doing the home page alone SOBS
anyways, in ref to these images though--
this is just slapped together and definitely wouldn’t be a final draft, it could use some tweaking
the flashy i refer to is the box that’s above the user box that says what flight is in dom, what festival is going on, etc.
when i mention building the site and “you can make icons for social media on just about anything” im referring to wordpress, wix, whatever is used to format the site. I really only have experience with wordpress thru elementor and divi (so far) so im not CERTAIN about other places but I feel it would be pretty common to have that tool. if not, making icons (or snatching some) is rlly not that hard, probably only costly depending on what their webdesigner(s) charge for icons
I’m not like certain on who does what, how the webdesigner(s) work with/price this site, etc. etc. this is just. going off of my own knowledge. and in general this whole post is my own knowledge abt shit i did no further research to FRs team specifically
i think this is basically it, i’ll reblog with more if i think of anything, but feel free to add things yourself or in general discuss things. again this post was made for fun so im not taking it seriously or demanding for these changes to be made, just personal annoyances and preferences.
This is also my first time doing picture IDs for a post so if I need to correct anything or the like let me know and I’ll edit it in the post!
#im afraid to put this in the tag but you can rb i dont care#but GOD this post ended up so much longer than i anticipated..............#the more i looked at the site the more i saw to point out LMAO#also i tried making this post more accessible bt if theres still some things that dont make sense please let me know#esp the picture ids#theres also so much more i could add whether it's inconsistencies or whatever but i do not !! have the time for that
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11, 12, 23, and 100
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Oof...uh...im not even like a shoe obsessed person but somehow i feel like i have a lot of shoes. Im gonna say that 85% are black boots tbh. I have a pair of pastel purple boots that i love and some heeled white boots that i normally use for lolita. Then i have a collection of wedged jelly sandals in rainbow, silver glitter, white, black, and light blue (i may be missing a color) and those are my fave too. Maybe 30 if i was gonna guess?😅
12. What was your last dream about?
Okay so i dont remember my like last dream from tonight but a dream i do remember that happened like a day or two ago was (and this is very long so bare with me. Yes, i usually dream about johnny, yes my dreams are super detailed because my writer mind kinda goes with it. Yes, my dreams can last like an hour or two. This also happens with dreams that give me anxiety which is fun🙃🙃)
N E WAY:
(I feel cringey saying 'i' but it was me...albeit a hotter version but whatever). I was a business person that was starting my own brand of lingerie (like one of those that was kinda geared towards more plus sizes but still wanted to be inclusive-whatever lol) and Johnny was my best friend who was a photographer (shocking i know). I was needing his help because i needed more professional model pictures to show the lingerie i had produced but because my business was still starting i was basically the model. Johnny had gone out of his way to book a stay at this bed and breakfast that he found because he was trying to find the perfect backdrop for the pictures and this bed and breakfast was gorgeous. The room he booked was a two story room with this giant bed and a whirlpool jet tub and a balcony that overlooked this really pretty garden below. Anyway it was amazing and we got there and actually did normal stuff like take pictures and get close up shots yadda yadda but we had also gotten some cheap wine from the supermarket (we stopped to get snacks before we got to the bnb). So in between shots we were drinking and drank a little tooooo much and got all giggly and stuff. (There might have been some transitional thing here but i dont remember)
Anyway, i get excited because i had wanted to try the tub because id never been in a whirlpool one before but i was like "wow this is weird that its outside the bathroom and a few feet from the bed. Is it gonna be weird if im in the tub while youre here because i really wanna try it. I even got bath bombs." And johnnys like "well i wanna try it too!!" And we're both tipsy/sorta drunk at this point and giggling about that fact that were gonna be naked together or whatever but who cares because its a cool af tub, we just wont tell the others that we took a bath together, its cool, whatevs. So i had the bright idea of dumping all the bathbombs i had gotten (like two or three) in which was a bad idea because they had like softening body oil and glitter in them so it made the tub extra slippery. We both get in and spend forever trying not to slip and slide to death in this tub and of course i end up slipping close to him, like in between his legs and were pressed together (alright heres the smut part -condensed version)
-we start making out hardcore and groping the hell out of one another
-we establish that maybe its okay to just have one hook up, again we just wont tell the guys bc theyd just tease us bc they were always saying how we acted like we were married and should just be a couple already
-he pushes me (cringe) against the tub wall and starts fingering me and i start jerking him off.
-ofc he starts kissing and biting my neck and putting all of his weight on me/gripping the side of the tub to get leverage to make his thrusts faster (and this is still just for the fingering)
-eventually he turns me around and starts fucking me from behind. Im bent over the edge of the tub but i had one hand in the water and accidentally pull the drain plug so the water starts to go down
-we laugh about it (again still kinda tipsy) and johnnys ofc like lets go to the bed.
- he picks me up and throws me down on it and i think it was missionary first but he def started choking me which was great because he did not hold back on that grip👌🏽
-then i think we went into doggy again?(this is kinda the part where the dream was ending and i dont remember too much) and he was pressing down hard on the back of my neck and spanking me. And unfortunately i dont remember anything after that😫
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
Yeah!
-bullet for my valentine
-clown/corey/craig from slipknot
-pentagon! (Well hi touch)
-ateez (hi touch)
-monsta x (hi touch)
-amber rose
- a TON of drag queens from rupauls drag race (bianca, bob, thorgy, jujubee, the list goes on. I went to drag con i think 2016? Something like that)
-i met the voice actor for yusuke urameshi (yu yu hakusho) Justin Cook and he was the SWEETEST guy ever and i have a good story about him. Also YYH is one of my fave animes so i def cried
-Amy Doan, the creator of Sugarpill makeup (i love her okay)
-the guitarist of Heidevolk and i think the bassist? I cant remember
-Laverne Cox
I think that might be it?
100. Color of your room?
Pfft white because i rent an apartment 😅
Thank you for asking (and always reblogging my stories😅🥰) i love you!
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