#anyway my point is that i have no confidence in my ability to figure our korean without help

[blockgamepirate]

Oh I would absolutely love a longer post about this! (Or a link to an existing resource would also work of course)

I've been really curious about Korean for a long time but I've just never had enough of a reason to really actually study it (and too many other languages to learn orz) This seems like a great opportunity to find out more

was watching 악어's (acau's) vod today (it's amazing finally understanding more than one language on the qsmp fully ayeeee) and just wanted to clarify something! was noticing that 어색해 (second vod around min 52) was getting translated to "awkward". it isn't wrong persay but in english, saying that a person to person interaction was "awkward" has a bit of a negative connotation -- it's definitely not a positive word

when i tend to use 어색해, which is a word i almost only heard when talking about human interaction, i usually mean "shy" more than awkward. it's a bit of a complicated feeling -- you're a bit shy and a bit lost but it's a word that generally has pretty positive connotations (i like to think of it like the shyness that comes from meeting someone you really like/want to get to know better/want to impress, but that's more of a personal thing?)

i noticed it because quackity probably saw the word "awkward" instead of shy at the end of his tour/showing 악어 around. so he immediately assured 악어 that the qsmp team is there to help (which was sweet <3) but probably 악어 meant more of a "i'm a bit shy so i'll take a bit of time to do some personal exploring"

he also said that he was sure that any shyness (어색한) would wear off after he got to know people better!

[misc-obeyme]

I'm the newbie and anon who asked about Amazon Mc thoughts and I'm sorry if my message was unclear. I'm kind of new here and I had no idea how tumblr works.

I did see that the requests are closed so I wasn't really requesting head-canons, just thoughts about Mc and Lucifer.

Ah, okay, sorry about that, anon! I have been known to misinterpret things frequently lol. It isn't really a tumblr thing so much as a me thing, though! I think it was the formality of your ask that threw me off a little bit. Just because that's usually the tone people use when making a request, whereas just asking for my ideas is more informal. I think of it as... we're just chit chatting lol! But don't worry, you're totally good! I just wanted to confirm because I didn't want to give you the wrong type of response! (Also you'd be surprised how often people send requests even when it says they're closed alkdfadflkjdf I don't mind but it is kinda funny.)

Anyway, I had to think about it for a minute because Lucifer doesn't seem the type to be intimidated by an Amazon-like MC. I could see some of the other brothers having more of an issue, but Lucifer is pretty confident in his own abilities and powers. And I kinda think that's a good thing. It means that Lucifer would be more likely to treat such an MC as an equal than to see her as some kind of scary person.

At the same time, Lucifer is not dumb, so he would also be likely to treat this MC with more respect than he does our generic in game MC. I think he would be more cautious about how he speaks to her if she seems like she could oh I dunno pick him up easily or potentially fight him physically and win.

Once MC gets more powerful with magic and stuff, I suspect Lucifer would already be comfortable with her at that point, but wow she'd be formidable.

In a romantic relationship, I think he might struggle at first. The thing about Lucifer is this. He's super soft inside, but he doesn't want anyone to know it. So he acts very domineering because he's got to hide all that softness.

So it kind of depends on how Amazon!MC is personality-wise. If she's kind of like the standard "warrior" type, she might also be kind of stoic. In that case, I sense it could be some time before they even figure out they have feelings for each other. They might go a while of saving each other from certain death until they finally figure it out.

But once they do? Oh man. That right there is a power couple. But I can also see them butting heads if they happen to disagree on the best course of action. I think Lucifer is stubborn so if Amazon!MC is, too, then they might argue about things sometimes.

NSFW below the read more!

NSFW MDNI

Since you also asked about NSFW, I think it's going to depend on how aggressive MC is in this case. But my opinion is that Lucifer would absolutely worship her.

Lucifer is going to want to discover every part of her, learn exactly how to make her respond to his touch. I think he'd want to let her take over, to let her command him as she sees fit. Lucifer acts like he's going to be demanding in the bedroom, but I think all he really wants is to please his partner. That goes for Amazon!MC, too. Whatever she wants, he's happy to give. I kinda think he'd take it as a personal challenge to make her cry out his name while he's got his head between her legs.

Hmm anyway, these are just my general thoughts! Feel free to ask follow up questions if you'd like!

[skulltrot]

dyn any input on how the turts deal with stress? we all know leo loves to deflect but im not rly sure about the others

sorry i got this a WHIIIILE ago and had most of the answer in my drafts but i never got around to posting it. but uh, the short answer is that it's kinda situational? Like, don't get me wrong, they have consistent reactions, though their actual reaction varies with context. As it does with anyone, they're multifaceted characters not black and white. Sorry if the answer is a bit all over the place i never actually refined any of these lol just thought i should post them

Leo

Leo deals with stress by deflecting with jokes, sure, but also he's very good at taking the emotions out of a situation and assessing it logically. Generally, I'd say he makes jokes to keep a level head during a situation more often than not. His ability to stay level-headed and pull himself out of his own head (minus his ego getting in the way) is what makes him a good strategist. He's able to assess a problem and take steps to a solution.

(sorry leo self-esteem angst enjoyers, but while he has insecurities they almost always have to do with people not seeing what he sees in himself. aka, he's very confident in his own abilities, overly confident even, he just needs other people to be around to witness that and actually acknowledge it for it to mean anything)

But on the other hand, we've also seen Leo get overwhelmed to the point where he just kinda shuts down(?) for lack of a better word. This is rare for him, as he's almost always able to keep his composure (or at least get himself together and push through).

We see this with him getting nervous and stammering all over the place, when he curls into himself, and etc. I think these usually happen when he's unable to find a solution or manipulate a situation in his favor.

Raph

Raph's reaction is fairly straightforward. He smashes first, asks questions later. When he's stressed he tends to panic and start literally punching things. THAT or he gets angry/irritated at whatever is stressing him out, causing him to yell. Where Leo's level-headed and leads with his wits about him, Raph goes more off of instinct and emotion.

In other situations that don't cause him to panic specifically, where he's just nervous, he just makes himself smaller and acts really sheepish cause he isn't able to come up with viable excuses on the spot like Leo can.

Mikey

Never wrote anything for him sorry but ummm staring at my 50 minute analysis for this guy i do kinda talk about it there iirc?

Donnie

This question is SUUPPERRR context-dependent with Donnie. Not so much because he's inconsistent, as much as it's just that he's so explosively emotional it's actually really hard to take his character apart beyond some of his main components and make myself sound comprehensible, and I'm saying that as someone who relates to him the most. I really have no idea how the fandom interprets him as emotionless or reserved in any way.

Just kidding! I know why. (Hint: it's because he's autistic)

To be honest, I think Donnie's character is so hard for me to analyze articulately is because I'm coming in here with my perspective on him as an autistic person, and the way autistic people process emotions is literally fundamentally different to other people. Our brains work in a completely different way so we quite literally have a different experience with emotions. I think explaining that is hard, maybe.

Anyway, I think the easiest way to answer this is that Donnie tends to stick to routines, and when that doesn't work he just kinda... freaks out? It can mean he spirals into focusing on an entirely irrational concept (hello Pizza Pit conspiracy board) just to feel like he has some semblance of understanding over a situation.

He needs to understand things. He needs to understand things logically so he can piece them together and figure out how to interact with them. Otherwise it's hard for him to figure out the right way to approach something. The reason he needs to understand everything is so he can make a plan. When he doesn't have a step-by-step guide to stick to and back up plans on back up plans to fall back on then he's like a fish out of water floundering around.

When all else fails he has a shutdown or a meltdown. And when I say that I mean it in the autistic way, for the record. He curls up in a ball, cries, throws things, etc.

He overthinks. A lot. Like a LOT. He has a tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be, and while that works when he's dealing with a robotics project or any of his other science experiments, it's not so effective in real-time situations or when dealing with people.

Mystic powers for example. They stressed him out a lot! This stress exhibited itself in frustration turned to a bitter resentment because he didn't understand them and it made him feel inferior. His understanding of how the world works and mystic powers conflicted, so he ignores and denies any insinuation that mystic powers are somehow "better."

He's constantly stressed out because he feels disconnected from people. That is straight-up what his entire character arc is. That in itself requires its own intense analysis since it's not really said outright and I'm not going to get into that, but the stress he feels from feeling like he's out of place often drives him to trying to compensate for himself. A tendency to ignore, deny, and try to manufacture his way out of it.

...Do you see where I'm going with this?

Whenever he's stressed, he tries to compensate for it by building up these (seemingly) impenetrable walls made of overpreparation thanks to his overthinking, never confronting his own emotions, and/or trying to logic his way out of something. Alas, Donnie is a god-awful liar and he is fooling nobody. All of this, more or less, makes it look like he's got an annoyingly inflated ego (he does a bit to be fair), but he's the one who probably has the worst image of himself as a person. Unlike Leo, he's actually insecure about himself as a person (not his intelligence though).

If there's a bad situation, he can, at the very least, know the odds of survival. He can, at the very least, know exactly what is going to happen. If he's about to be smashed in a tank by weird, fucked up alien vines then he'll keep his composure somewhat because at least he has data to lean on.

Data collection calms him down for a reason! It gives him something to look at in favor of the situation because knowing is better than going into it blind.

Redirecting his focus, deflecting (via ignoring or repressing), or having a shutdown/meltdown pretty much sums up his reactions.

[tobiasdrake]

We have a terrible plan but it's the best we can do under these circumstances. Let's go get us a ship.

If we're still on the ship when it un-dusks, is that bad for us? Do we know?

Also, Teaks said it was imprisoned in a perpetual storm, but apparently it flickers in and out of reality? That was bugging me when we saw it do that the first time. Is the perpetual storm on the other side of the flicker?

This seems way more complicated than "Angry ghost captain summoned a furious storm." Do we know... anything? I mean, I assume not because it's one of those "If no one lived to tell the tale then who told the tale?" kind of things. If no one's ever been to the Vespertine and come back then no, we don't know anything. How would we?

Imagine signing on to a pirate journey for a specific mission and then being told you can't participate in the one thing you were here to do. They should mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean sneak around behind our backs to come along anyway.

It's what we'd do. With Garl. Specifically.

...Garl over here proudly displaying the scars of my mistakes and meanwhile Patches is over there with perfectly fine eyes covered by two eyepatches and he is not sharing.

There is logic in what the Captain's saying. But I nonetheless can't endorse it because y'all know what we'd be doing in the crew's shoes. Our history speaks for itself.

I dunno. Maybe these pirates are better disciplined than Solstice Warriors are. I thought we were the upstart renegades against proper protocol but Bugraves and Erlina blew us right out of the water in the field of doing what you aren't supposed to. Our disobediences look quaint by comparison.

I guess Moraine isn't a very good indoctrinator. He's been a dismal failure at passing along dogma and shaping belief systems in his students. The Solstice Warriors simply aren't up to the same standards of conformity, blind faith, and rigid structuralism that you so famously find in piracy.

Okay, enough sad reflection. We're on a mission to steal a legendary vessel from a captain with no ownership of it using a magical artifact we no longer possess. Gonna need my game face on because unwarranted confidence is the only asset we have right now.

Ghost ship? More like toast ship amirite?

Look, I was thinking about other stuff, not working on zingers. Point is, we're awesome. What they got? Crusty old bones? Ask Roro how well that went for her!

So what if we lost the coin. We're still going to get the ship. We just have to use Plan B. Don't worry, everybody has a price when the currency is violence.

Oh, I'm ready. I am focused and--

Hold up, if we can control the cycle of night and day, can't we just rewind the clock to the night of the eclipse for another eclipse boost? We have technology in place to do this; Why aren't we using this ability to spam eclipses whenever we--

Oh hey Serai. When did you get here? And where did the pirates go?

...

Oh shit. I mean. WHOA! You were Captain Cliche this WHOLE TIME!? I am both shocked and honored that.... No, sorry, I can't do it.

Same reason you don't call someone out as gay no matter how transparent their glass closet is. I'm a firm believer in identity authoritarianism. You want to present as Mysterious Masked Figure, I'm not gonna stop you.

But now that we're actually having this conversation, yes, everyone already knew.

Don't think of it as losing the macguffin. Think of it as buying a supremely talented chef who will support the ungodly amounts of violence we are about to inflict.

That's okay, your plan was always bad anyway. You should have spent some time at camp talking to Teaks.

Honestly, after our trip to the Dweller's mansion, I'm looking forward to a return to the pleasant simplicity of bashing zombie skulls until they stop moving. Been warming my beatstick in anticipation.

Yeah, we're stupid like that.

Anyway, HANDS IN THE AIR. This is a robb-- Wait, no, that was yesterday. Sorry. Wrong script. Ahem. This is a shipjacking. Still larceny, different genre.

Ha! Success! Now to find out if we die!

Oh, pleasantries! Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm guessing you must be the navigator who wanted a better life? Did they make you captain after the mutiny?

Really should have demanded more than one curse-breaker soulstone from Roro. At the very least, instructions on how to make them would be nice to have, if we're going to keep involving ourselves with every curse on the planet.

Anyways, back to business.

This is a shipjacking. How do you say "Hand 'er over" in pirate curse? In any case, I know it doesn't look like it but Serai is definitely pointing a gun at you right now.

^_^ I'm the gun.

Technically, that only proves that one of us is real. The rest could still be imaginary.

Zale and I are too associated with each other and Serai showed up late in the game. So if one of us is meandering around having hallucinations of companionship, it's probably Garl. This whole thing could be a story he's making up in his head, thinking about the dear friends that were taken from him and who left him alone in childhood.

Probably not, though. I'm sure you're fine, Garl.

We also have a whole fifth person stuffed in his backpack!

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hortence. I would shake your hand but you're dead, ethereal, and possibly on fire.

In any case, I was already on your side of this argument from before we even met so I'd be happy to beat Stormcaller with a stick until he relents. Then you can retire to the unlife you wanted from the start and/or pass on, and we can take your ship.

Everybody wins. Except Stormcaller. But, y'know, fuck him.

The rest of the crew are brainless undead now. Unfortunate, but convenient. It means we don't need to worry about their opinions of the deal we're making.

Sucks for them. They all died for the Captain's hissy fit, which they were specifically trying to end by getting rid of the little shit. The crew did nothing wrong. They're as much victims of Stormcaller's unreasonable tantrum as Hortence is.

But it's super convenient for us that only one person has any ownership claim to this vessel now, and it's the person who wanted to leave from the start. That will help our shipjacking go super smoothly.

Oh, there's a third option. We buy him out. Everyone has a price when the currency--

Goddammit, I already used that line. I wasted it on you, Serai. Why did I do that? I didn't need to impress you! You already think I'm cool!

Okay. But. Counterpoint. I hit things really, really hard. It's hard to do magic when you're being hit really, really hard. There's a game mechanic for that and everything.

Considering everything that we came from on Wraith Island? Yes. I do feel good about our chances here.

[pb-dot]

WIP Wednesday: New WIP Introduction

Writing decisions are funny. I think I'm going to make a conscious choice at some point, but that's basically never how it works. After spending some time percolating on this or that decision, I find myself having decided with all but absolute certainty already. I do consider this a part of Writer Brain, in that it seems my subconscious has worked the problem at hand while I was doing other things, which is awfully kind of it.

Anyway, this is all to say that I have decided what this year's NaNoWriMo project is going to be, and that I today plan to tell you all about it. As much as I have figured out at time of writing, at least.

My project this year will be The Artist, although I am considering vague-ing down the tittle a little bit. Perhaps The Impossibility Artist, or The Painter and The Impossible, Madness; Art or something like that. Titles are hard, but I figure I'll let this decision sit on the backburner for a little while. With a little luck, my brain will come up with something amenable all by itself.

With every project I undertake, I try to keep one particular challenge in mind. I do this because I find it useful to further my craft and also perhaps build a teensy tiny little bit of confidence in my own abilities while I'm at it. This time, I'm going to write a protagonist, a 1st person POV protagonist at that, who's not wholesome. In fact, I plan for him to be a kinda fucked up guy, maybe even a really fucked up guy on balance. I do this because it feels right for a horror novel, and I want to see if I can do it, but also because my protagonists in The Clockwork Boy are honestly little cinnamon buns and while that is cute, it's not quite what I'm looking for here.

The challenge, I figure, will be indulging in moral grey cynicism but not becoming mired in it in it. I do want both my protagonist and nominal antagonist to come out of this changed for the better. I just hate horror that ends on a note of loss and nihilism and no lessons learned by nobody, because that's just real life most of the time, and that's not fun nor engaging for me. It'll be a narrow road to thread I suspect, but my convictions wouldn't be worth much if they're not tested in the spin cycle of adversity.

I've gone a while without speaking any on what the story is about, so here it is briefly. Our (as of yet unnamed) protagonist is an art critic obsessed with a controversial contemporary painter by the name of Tomasz Gildebrant. The reclusive Gildebrant has taken the art world by storm despite, or perhaps because, rumors that viewing his pictures drives weak-willed individuals into acts of extreme violence, destructive debauchery or both.

Our protagonist catches hints of Gildebrants inner circle being on the move, and immediately springs into action to try to secure contact with them. His goal? Nothing short of a face-to-face meeting of an artist who doesn't even allow pictures of his face. Needless to say, our hero has crossed some ethical and judicial lines by the time the invitation to join Gildebrant in his isolated alpine home.

Upon their first meeting, our protagonist notices Gildebrant seems almost impossibly gregarious for a recluse. The darkness inherent to his work is nowhere to be seen, neither in the man nor his impeccably, arftully minimalistic and shockingly modern home high up in the Carpathian alps. There are, however, little hints that something isn't as it should be, like how the doors to the guest room locks automatically half an hour before midnight, and just how many pairs of shoes crowd the entryway.

So, without spoiling too much, we're going to explore some avenues of paranoia, as well as learning some harsh truths both about our determined point-of-view character and his enigmatic host. Perhaps, if it all falls into place, it'll turn out sweet, and if it does not, I hope it at least becomes tragically beautiful.

Anyway, before I disappear entirely into the poetry corner today, I figured I'd talk some shop. This book is by all probability going to be longer than TCB. I originally envisioned The Artist as a triology, but figured I could also execute what I wanted in a single work if I showed some discipline. So, that is what I will try to do, although I will have to try a slightly different approach to outlining than my usual method to see if it all fits.

I probably won't talk all that much about this WIP on here before I'm done with the bones of the story and the characters. Hopefully that'll be before Oct 31st, but if I have to pants it come November 1st, i'll pants it and probably start ranting in a sufficiently unhinged way on here. I'll put down a tag list post as fast as I can come up with a working title that I can live with.

[springagainafter]

Liara's first convo, part 3, as I gleefully skip past the whole "we have learnt to take a philosophical approach to our unions" discussion because yeaaah that's definitely not happening until probably after Noveria.

Merrick and Liara are, of course, still stranded on some random planet and have successfully navigated past all the awkward about dissections and indepth studies.

Having a whole dialogue available right away with Liara on How Asari Reproduce strikes me as really weird, but anyway, it's there.

Ingame you can't get to the bit about Liara not knowing Aethyta without going through that whole talk, but I am confident in Merrick's ability to ask Liara about her family without getting into All That yet.

So he asks about her parents and Liara tells him that "Benezia rarely spoke of her partner, though I know my father - if you want to use that term - was another asari."

Shepard: Benezia never told you her partner's name?

Yeah, Benezia and Aethyta could have handled this better.

Liara: Union with our kind is no longer common. Not for the purposes of reproduction. Most asari believe it weakens our species. Liara: Asari daughters inherit racial traits from the father species. If both parents are asari, than nothing has been gained. Or so conventional wisdom would hold.

The Ardat-Yakshi are also a factor. (I suspect the writers didn't come up with them until developing ME2.)

Liara: I am what is sometimes called a "pureblood," though no asari would ever be cruel enough to say the word to my face. It is a great insult among my people.

Vasir would. :/

I do wonder if Liara had to deal with anyone saying that behind her back while younger, or if being Benezia's daughter protected her from that.

Liara: It is possible that Benezia's partner was embarrassed by their union. She may have been too ashamed to publicly acknowledge me as her offspring.

That is awful.

I've said it before and I'll said it again: she should absolutely get to be mad at or about Aethyta in 3. I am convinced she lost it offscreen pre-ME3 once she figured it out.

I've decided she absolutely does just lose it back on the Normandy after that little conversation on the Presidium and goes into a full "Where Was She My Entire Life/Where Was She After Alchera/Why Didn't She Come Talk To Me First/Why Didn't Benezia Tell Me Who She Was" meltdown and Merrick just lets her vent.

Shepard: Maybe she wanted to meet you but couldn't. Maybe something happened to her. Maybe she passed away.

Merrick sees Aethyta in 3 and immediately goes hostile when he figures out who she is because Where Have YOU Been For Liara's Entire Life. It is not a pleasant conversation.

Liara: You might be right. I hope you are. But I have no way to know for sure.

So wild that the best option there is an implicit "it's not you" + "something terrible must have happened to her" and LIARA HOPES THAT'S THE CASE.

The game does not really allow for Shepard to have an opinion on this, but Merrick does get quietly fierce about it's not at all fair to Liara and Benezia should have told her more.

And since what's the point of being stranded if things don't get worse and the game should have thrown in a broken translators bit at some point, their translators *both* break down shortly after that and they are reduced to charades and military signals and trying to read each other's body language while trying to get back to the Mako.

Merrick can speak a little bit of the same asari language Liara does but it's a different dialect *and* he's rusty at it *and* he has an accent so it is a struggle. There's a lot of "so what were you saying right then" when they get back to the ship.

[oblivions-arts-culture]

ENVY'S TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2022 (PART 2)

5-1 this time!!! No extras on this one I prommy <3 top ten is top 11 ONLY

5

Everyone’s favourite Satanic metal group are at the height of their powers right now. If you couldn’t tell by the huge spike in their popularity, it’s evident in the confidence – arrogance, even – of the latest incarnation of frontman Papa Emeritus. Tobias Forge’s devilish diva is brimming with Ego on the group’s fifth album, from the patriotic call-to-arms of Kaisarion to the Disney-Villain antics of Twenties. But that swagger betrays a rot at the heart of IMPERA’s imagined empire. Beneath the righteous glory and titanic industries of ‘progress’, the people at the epicentre of this empire still can’t walk home safely at night. That’s the stark message hiding on this album - and it’s Forge’s ability to be so incisive in spite of the silliness of Ghost’s premise, that cements this project as one of metal’s most engaging.

4

When you know that no pop artist does fun quite like Carly Rae Jepsen, an album name like this might lead you to believe her latest album is more sombre than usual. There’s some truth to that – the moodiness of tracks like Joshua Tree and Talking to Yourself are a new turn for the Canadian queen, as is the laidback softness of Western Wind. The most successful divergence from her usual style is the heart-breaking faux-country breakup track Go Find Yourself Or Whatever. But make no mistake; joy is still the defining ethos of Jepsen’s material, despite the circumstances, and the euphoria that she brings on this record is second to none. Because she’s right; we really have had the loneliest time. But what’s the point in not dancing and being in love anyway?

3

The last few years have been no stranger to incisive social commentary, but in my opinion there’s a key element to our modern age that’s missing from a lot of attempts to figure out what’s going on: how completely absurd it all is. Enter Viagra Boys’ bizarre post-punk magnum opus, to tackle the insanity of our times head-on. The humour of the affair adds a necessary bite to the band’s commentary – it would come off as absurd if it weren’t such a perfect reflection of the experience of scrolling through online opinion pieces. It’s eclectic, it’s incapable of standing still, it’s insane and it is very funny. But it’s also not shy about how bleak it all is. You have to laugh, because if you don’t, you’ll scream, and Cave World captures that sensation better than anything else this year.

2

Very few albums this year rewarded your patience and careful attention as generously as Ethel Cain’s debut LP. Between a gorgeous atmospheric intro and a cathartic, emotive opener in American Teenager, your opening minutes are nothing short of awe-inspiring. From here, the album pivots between hazy moments of ethereal worldbuilding, and earth-shattering, subterranean explosions of catharsis, all as part of an engrossing tale of intergenerational trauma. The album is a vicious cycle of gut punches followed by warm embraces, and it will consume you if you let it. You should let it.

1

This does not feel like listening to an album. This feels like being delivered a profane sermon, inside the rotting corpse of a church, at the blackened end of everything. There is a bile, a malice that has been allowed to fester at the heart of our society for all too long, and Ashenspire have captured this with all the anger and disgust it warrants. Haunting and poetic in its lyricism without wasting the blunt rage of its delivery, musically varied but never lacking in aggression or creativity, Hostile Archiecture is a document of a society gone Wrong, as complete in its assessment as it is uncomfortable in the truths it makes you face. I hope an album like this never has to feel this necessary again.

My favourite songs from each album:

Wet Leg: Ur Mum

Black Country New Road: Good Will Hunting

Kendrick Lamar: Auntie Diaries

Big Thief: Flower of Blood

Friendship: Ugly Little Victory

Death's Dynamic Shroud: Judgment Bolt

Ghost: Respite on the Spitalfields

Carly Rae Jepsen: Go Find Yourself or Whatever

Viagra Boys: Ain't No Thief

Ethel Cain: Ptolemaea

Ashenspire: Cable Street Again

Part 1 (entries 10-6) is below!!!!

[plumblossomcafe]

Ch.36:The Crux Clash

Paimon: Paimon thinks it's best if Y/n goes since it'll prove everyone wrong that despite her appearance, she's really strong!!!

Aether: I agree. What do you think, Y/n?

Y/n: I don't mind. "I guess I could use the fighting style that Eula uses, but I'll use a sword instead of a claymore" (Author Note: I'm referring to Eula's character Demo, since I wasn't capable of finding a gif for it)

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Beidou: Our next competitor is seen by many as one of the favorites to win this tournament. Despite her appearance, she is capable of taking down all of her enemies that stand in her way. Her‍ first bout begins now!

Y/n: *points her sword at her opponent*

Jinyou: Y—You... You're one the hero they're talking about! Argh! How am I supposed to win now!?

Y/n: "Great, now I have an even bigger reason to beat you up now!!!!"

During the battle, Y/n kept dodging the attacks of the opponent in a graceful way as of she was dancing and her opponent was growing tired and angry that he was the one getting beaten instead of Y/n and in the Y/n ended up winning the battle

Paimon: What a strange guy, why was he so confident to begin with...? Well, now that we've won, let's go and see Beidou. She'll probably have something to say to us. We'll mainly Y/n since she was the first to fight.

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Beidou: Hahaha, I knew I wouldn't regret introducing you as one of the favorite! So what do you think, Kazuha, Tomo? She‍ totally dominated that guy and did it with style and elegance, too.

Kazuha: Impressive. But I also observed her exercise some restraint, as if to protect the opponent from serious harm.

Beidou: Well, I've fought my fair share of battles, both big and small. And I say, after the show she‍ put on just now, she‍'s more than convinced me of her‍ ability.

Tomo: True, but you have to agree that during the battle, she fought almost as if she was dancing ballet or something. Hey, Y/n, are you sure you aren't a lady of an important clan or something? *joking*

Y/n: *doesn't understand the joke* No, I just learned this fighting style from a friend of mine in Mondstadt, I just used a sword instead of a claymore as my weapon

Beidou: *laughs* See Kazuha, even Tomo agrees with me, so come on, we all know you've got a wide vocabulary in there — can't you spare a word or two to congratulate our up-and-coming champion?

Kazuha: Alright... Let me think how to aptly phrase these words of praise......You fought well.

Beidou: Ugh, alright then. I was thinking your inner poet might want to join in the fun, but... I guess I shouldn't put you on the spot like that. You know, a lot of competitors came to me saying how surprised they were that Liyue's heroes were entering the tournament......And since you guys signed up, we've had many others do the same, with more than a few top-tier fighters among them. I'm sure lots of them are here to find out how they stack up against you two.

Y/n: Oh

Aether: I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Y/n: Oh right, Aether your next

Beidou: Haha, well, since everyone sees you guys as the ones to beat, I figured I should start treating you both that way, too. For one thing, we don't want you guys wasting all your energy in the early rounds fighting people who are well below your level. Not to mention... you must be itching to fight someone in your league, too, right? So, I'm putting you straight through to the semi-finals!

Paimon: Huh? But we only just started the qualifiers... Seems like a crazy system if we just skip straight to the semi-finals.

Kazuha: This is how Captain Beidou works. You won't persuade her otherwise. Besides, at your level, you would have made it to the semi-finals anyway.

Tomo: Hey, look at the bright side. You could either relax or watch the next rounds till the semi-finals

Paimon: Huh. To be fair, Paimon was thinking that, too...

Y/n: Same, if me and Aether were to have a sparing session, I would lose since I'm still not good at using a sword

Aether: "Then how were you able to beat Childe and that guy just now."

Beidou: Alright, I'm gonna watch some more of the tournament. If there's any potential contenders for you out there, I want to know who they are and what they're about.

After a long wait, Aether's opponent in the semi-final is finally decided.

Beidou: We're finally here, folks! The real show is about to begin!

Kazuha: Hehe... the captain seems to have high hopes for this tournament. I have not seen her so excited in quite some time. Your opponent has fought many rounds to get to the semi-finals. This makes him a seasoned warrior. You may well be stronger than him, but this should not give you cause to lower your guard.

Aether: I won't. I haven't forgotten why I'm here.

Kazuha: Very well. Show me that you are ready to push through the storm that lies ahead.

Beidou: Alright, that's enough chit-chat for now. The audience is waiting. Go find the crew member that signed you and Y/n up, she'll take you into the arena.

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Zhuhan: Your opponent in the semi-finals is new to The Crux Clash, but he has quickly become the dark horse of the tournament. I do not doubt your abilities, but I would suggest that you make sure you are fully prepared before you begin.

Paimon: Relax! My guy's at the top of his game he ain't gonna lose!

Aether: I'm ready.

Zhuhan: Okay. Follow me.

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Beidou: At last, the moment we've all been waiting for — the semi-finals have begun! Who's it going to be this time — the hero or the dark horse?

Rongshi: I don't care about the prize... You're a strong opponent. That's what I'm here for.

The opponent proves surprisingly persistent. Faced with a less easy fight than anticipated, you have to get serious.

Rongshi: I'm sweating all over. It's a good feeling. Congratulations, I was beaten by the best. I need to train harder.

Aether: You fought very well yourself. I believe you have the potential to be champion.

Paimon: Right! For a moment there, Paimon was a little worried... If you had a vision, you'd definitely be one of the strongest around.

Rongshi: I wanted a vision once, when I was a kid. People said that if you're strong enough, you'll have your chance to get one. But mine never came. I lost interest, eventually. You can't depend on a vision like you can your own body. I've fought and won against Vision bearers before. The power they have was given to them by the gods. I don't envy it.

Paimon: Huh? You mean, you didn't sign up to try and get your hands on that Masterless Vision?

Rongshi: No, I didn't. I only wanted to pit myself against other fighters and see who was the strongest. Only in defeat can you understand your weaknesses and learn from them. So, I'm pleased with today's outcome. I don't often have the pleasure of experiencing defeat.

Paimon: Wow... now that's true strength talking!

Rongshi: If you have the chance in the future, please come and spar with me again. I will be stronger next time.

Aether: So will I.

Paimon: By the way... do you know who else made it into the finals? ...Is it gonna be someone even tougher than you?

Rongshi: Whether they'll be as tough as me, I don't know... But what I have heard is that they're extremely quick. So don't get too cocky. *leaves*

Paimon: There he goes... Maybe we should ask around to see what we can find out about our opponent in the final round. Paimon thinks we might need to up our game a little.

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After talking with the other competitors and meeting up with the others

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Kazuha: *clapping* You gave an outstanding performance. It is truly commendable. I could sense that you are not familiar with bouts of this kind, and it could have cost you the match. But you were quick to adapt and managed to claim victory over your opponent. That is a most invaluable skill.

Tomo: *playfully ruffles Aether's hair* You fight really well and have a lot of tricks up your sleeve kid

Aether: You are very observant.

Kazuha: In fact, I discerned this not from what I saw but what I heard — the ground beneath your feet and the pattern of your breathing. But it is nothing remarkable, for I discerned nothing more than Captain Beidou did.

Beidou: Ahaha, he's right. But in my case, I was purely relying on previous experience. I guess not using your elemental powers must be quite new for you, huh?

Aether: It sure is.

Paimon: We wanted to ask about who our opponent will be in the final round. Do you think they'll be stronger than the one we faced in the semi-finals?

Beidou: Not exactly. Contenders that reach the finals aren't necessarily "stronger," but they tend to have something unique about their style. As for the guy you'll be facing, his skill lies in his speed, and he has superior form. It's also obvious that he's seen his fair share of battles. What's the matter? Worried that you've bitten off more than you can chew this time?

Aether: Well, I'm not worried since Y/n is going to be fighting this time

Y/n: *holding her forehead while having a visible look of pain*

Tomo: You alright?

Y/n: Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine, I just had a headache just now, but I'm fine

Aether: You sure? I still have a lot of energy left, so I can substitute for you if you want

Y/n: I'm fine, really

Kazuha: .... "She's lying, but I'm guessing she doesn't want to worry anyone, so she's trying to act like she's fine"

Aether: Y/n, just rest, you always work hard and rarely get a chance to rest, you always tell me to not overwork myself and I listen so why don't you listen your own advice, I'll substitute for you,

Y/n: ...fine

Kazuha: If that is the case, then I have a proposal for you, Aether. Let's go somewhere a little quieter, shall we? Me and Tomo haven't properly introduced ourselves yet. In the land of Inazuma, Were were wandering samurais.

Paimon: Uh, yeah, we could tell that from your guys's getup. But at the same time... When you guys talk, you both don't really sound like people who's used to waving a sword around...

Kazuha: It is true that I am versed both in literary and martial traditions and Tomo is very ambitious and lively. But on the straggling path of a wandering samurai, is there harm in acquiring a surplus skill? I do not mean to flaunt my martial prowess, but I myself have witnessed reputable fighters hailing from across the lands. I do possess some knowledge regarding your opponent's particular skillset. Given your talents, a few hints from me will be all that's necessary to bring your opponent down.

Beidou: Hang on! Don't you think you're bending the rules a bit there?

Kazuha: Gathering intelligence is an essential part of any duel. You must know your enemy. Besides, my lady, Y/n, here has fought many battles on their journey from Mondstadt. And it's best for her to rest here while me and Tomo talk to you, Such impressive feats require more than just bravery alone.

Y/n: My lady?, but I thought I said that I'm not from a very important clan

Tomo: It's just a nickname, it suits you my lady

Y/n: *sighs* Fine

Paimon: Huh, wait a second. We never told you that we've been to Mondstadt!

Kazuha: Hehe, does one not leave a trail when traveling through the wild? In return, nature also leaves its traces upon you. However, there is only so much that can be discerned from these traces. I sense that many things about you elude me still... These are the things I am curious to know about. Come with us. Some post-match entertainment is in order.

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Kazuha: Now that we're alone, let me cut to the heart of the matter... Aether, you are skilled in manipulating the elements. And not just a single element, but multiple. Is that correct?

Aether: *surprised*

Tomo: *chuckles* Well, is he correct?

Aether: Ah, so you already know. No wonder you didn't bring this up at the arena.

Paimon: Paimon knew that you were hinting at something from the moment we met. You've known all along.

Kazuha: That's right. If the other contenders were to catch wind of your elemental abilities, let's just say it would cause some unwanted misunderstandings. If I'm not mistaken, you share these considerations, given your reluctance to use elemental skills even in the heat of a match.

Aether: Yes, but how did you know?

Kazuha: Hehe, when I talk about that which I see or hear in you, this is not poetic symbolism at play. I mean these things in the truest sense possible. Since a young age, I have been attuned to the tidings of nature. I hear the breath of the wind and the whispers of the leaves. It is things of this nature that I also hear from within you, nothing more.

Paimon: As crazy as all that sounds, somehow Paimon still believes you.

Kazuha: My humble abilities are negligible compared to your incredible feats. To think a human could wield the elements without a Vision... And not to mention your incredibly complex scent, like that of some mysterious being...

Paimon: Hey, stop evaluating us based on our smell! It's weird!

Kazuha: Could you perchance enlighten me as to how you managed to obtain your combined elemental abilities?

Aether: I'm afraid I don't know either. All I did was touch a Statue of The Seven.

Kazuha: Hmm, extraordinary. So then, might I be so bold as to inquire how exactly it is that you learned to channel elemental energy, and even wield it in combat?

Aether: It's all thanks to Paimon's knowledge.

Paimon: Aw, it's nothing, really. Paimon just told him whatever came to mind. It's been a long journey, and many things have happened along the way. Somehow, he just naturally learned to use the elements through it all... Honestly, even me or Paimon don't understand how it all works. I'm very interested in learning about it

Kazuha: Perhaps such unfathomable things are the essence of the gods and the Visions they grant. However, I still wish to have the honor of seeing how you wield the elements, perhaps it may yet reveal something to me. Of course, I too shall share with you all that I've learned. That will make it a fair exchange.

Tomo: I just want to observe, since I found this interesting

Aether: Fair enough.

Kazuha: Now then, let's test your skills, shall we?

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After Aether defeated the monsters

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Kazuha: Hmm, your skills in battle are truly beyond reproach. Even with your opponent's speed, he shouldn't be able to overwhelm you. Your opponent is skilled at controlling his breathing and maintaining balance, which enables him to execute moves that many would find impossible. He relies entirely on the element of surprise to defeat his opponents. In other words, as long as you remain mindful of his ability to detect weak points, then his attack should pose no threat to you.

Aether: Thank you, I will not underestimate him.

Kazuha: Please, save your thanks. If anything, I should be thanking you for the opportunity to witness your command of the elements that defies all known principles. The world is a truly mysterious place, it seems, and one will always encounter that which is still unknown.

Paimon: You seem kinda obsessed with Visions... but don't you already have your own? Why are you so intent on exploring the connection between Visions and the elements?

Kazuha: I desire to know what meaning Visions have to the gods. And what influences the gods' decision to grant humans these Visions. My apologies, you must be completely in the dark regarding such matters. For allowing me the honor of witnessing your mystical ways, I am willing to answer any questions you may have regarding Inazuma.

Aether: I am indeed in the dark, so please enlighten me.

Kazuha: So that's what you're curious about? Haha, then allow me to tell you more.

Tomo: As you well know, a Vision Hunt Decree is currently underway in Inazuma.

Kazuha: Visions are a gift bestowed by the divine. People that have accepted this gift are now having their Visions confiscated inexplicably, sometimes in circumstances that leave their original recipients dead. In the outset, supposing each of the Seven Archons had their criteria for granting Visions to living beings — then, does the current Electro Archon now doubt these criteria, or even the act in and of itself?

Tomo: Not to mention, with no new Electro Visions having been granted for such a long time, it would seem that Kazuha can infer something of the Raiden Shogun's feelings on the matter...

Paimon: She sounds less like an archon and more like... a tyrant. But how come Tomo has an Electro Vision?

Tomo: I managed to gain it way before this all happened

Kazuha: As far as I know, she is an archon that pursues "eternity." She will relentlessly carry out her will with no regard to what others may think or feel. Liyue's "contracts" are meant to benefit all who reside within Liyue. But what does Inazuma's pursuit of "eternity" bring to its people?

Tomo: ...It goes without saying that the people locked within Inazuma do not fare well these days.

Paimon: Sounds a lot like something the god you encountered in the beginning would do.

Tomo: Oh? Have you encountered the Electro Archon before?

Aether: I'm not sure. It was already a long time ago now.

Kazuha: With time, we will change. But the shogun will remain the same. If you wish to find her, she will forever be there. There will come a day when I, too, shall wish to understand the answers to "eternity" from her.

Tomo: Ahem! The time for your match is approaching. And My lady would is going to get worried about you guys

Paimon: Oh, right! We got so distracted talking about Inazuma that Paimon forgot all about the tournament! Plus, Y/n gets really worried about her friends

Kazuha: If you have no other matters to attend to, then we can return together.

Aether: Sure, let's go together.

Kazuha: Very well, let's go. I wish to see who will obtain the Vision.

[noro-noro-noro]

ok part of the dream

- girl & her husband in a somewhat bad mariage manageto successfully lead her displaced village to the sea the husband has a broken leg(?) but that appears to be pptional bc my dream keeps remembering and forgetting it. the husband doesn't want to lie directly on the sand so they check out this ancient shipwreck thsts half ashore and find a decebt plave to lie down.

then there's a huge storm and the ship breaks into three main sections crunbling into the water.

we (me & my friends in our car in the real nonfantasy world) are there. in the ocean, trying not to drown. we find the husband and wife. and suddenly we're booted back out. usually when we show up in the other world it's kinda like Narnia - you're stuck in there until you can figure out how to go home. we knew some ways to force the snap back but it wasn't always effective.

anyway this time we're in a big city at night with these otherworlders. we're crammed 4 into the backseat trying to hide them from anyone who could see and tell they weren't from here.

- idk if this part was before or after. there was a bit of sneaking around/avoiding agents at my mom's neighborhood. we (my sister + man invented for this dream who could turn into a raccoon) were trying to get home while shaking off our "escorts". one was a really fat crocodile man who had tbe vibe of evrart clair who eventually got mad at me and threw me really high into the air. the raccoon man was kind of a con man trickster but he alwaus has a plan - he opened a dumpster with signs pointing to it to have a safe landing for me, since thats how fall physics worked in this game.

I fell safely into rhis grimy channel in the middle of the houses, & then had to scramble to findthis remote to open my great grandpa's vault to avvess the elevator that would take us down to his labs and explain everything we needed to know. i found it - we went down feeling like things were about to change.

the light we could see through the elevator crack was green circuits at first & then white. anf then darkish. we were released into the shadows in an otherwise very white area, & though we were supposed to be obscured one of the ther students could see us through the wall. and then we all could.

by students I know it's people who had some kind of ability, which is why they were here. they would eventually be able to counter the monsters that attacked us as we were trying to get there as well but that's a long way off. the monsters came in several types, but what was standout among them was that they were monochrome and usually looked like small pixelart one to life. the more dangerous ones left a trail ofd a grayish pixelated fog . I remember seeing a small sqiare penguin (mostly ok) and I also remember seeing a foggy bellsprout like thing, which was incredibly dangerous.

we came out of the shadows to briefly try and jtroduxe ourselfs to the students & sit in on this lesson when a foggy bellsprout appeared & immediately started killing. the instructor continues to calmly talk about their abilities - after their first initial lunge, they lacked strength to gain momentum to lunge again. sometimes they would camouflage. while all the students around her were dying. they would reproduce in corpses. my sister managed to live bc she could mold the shape of thinfs to her fingers and was hanging in a corner out of reach. I managed to live bc I had some kind of intangibility, but I was front and center to a lot of the carnage.

we also learned that they would root themselves in corpses and eventually reproduce. rooted things also gained like a razor-like vine attack from its roots that they could use to try to reach highly up the wall. this was new to the instructor who suddenly ddjt seem so confident. one of the students was very similar to rei kengan in that he was strong and dould move very fast, but the rooted ones seemed immune to damage so when he went in for the kill it ripped a festering black hole through his hand. I grabbed his hand & he was like "don't risk it" & then keeled over dead.

anyway we also discovered that without anything to kill for a short while the little creatures all died & dissipated into nothing. the ibstructor told my sister & I to sort through the source material for the students into "survived" "survived for a while" & "died" piles. seeing them in their source could bring them back to our world, but it was hard to remember.

then the chapter ended there. the pov zoomed out to show me reading a manga (the plot that had just happened) that a friend was showing me. was this my own source material, or was my brain pulling a "and it was all a dream" type ebdig on me? anyway

- there was a third part but I don't have all of it rn. BA k in classic "big sunny foreign city with warm colored stone" that makes a cameo in many dreams. I don't remember exactly what I was doing - there were a lot of stands selling like, 3-5 crackers, & I needed to buy some bc it was somebody's birthday? I ended up buyig 20 for $19 at some stand run by like a litle chinese 6 year old and his uncle and then having to tie them together with yarn by poking it thru the holes in the mifdlr.

then after leaving that square and getting to the top of a nearby cliff, I had a genshin style time trial "go from point A to point B fast enough" where I found out they added tiers of rewards based on how fast you did it. I saw one of the area collectibles, a glowing rune sigil, floating on a platform above where that kid was but I'd already taken too long dilly dallying in a menu and was already down from S tier rewards to low A, so I ran back .

the kid was now acting strange - one of the masks on the wall had possessed his soul bc he looked too long I the eyes, & I had one chance to listen to what he was mumbling and analyze the masks to figure out which was the onr that had done ut. two of the masks appeared to be strong caricatures of hthm and kaveh , so it couldn't be those... but in the end, I think I picked the wrong one.

[haunted-house-heart]

hi yes hello i am asking about a little wild, a little fond!!! i would like to know more!!! :D

quin i would kill for you. thank you sm you're the best <33333

ok so a couple years ago i woke up from a dead sleep with this scene in my head and had to write it out, and that was like. the beginning of this project. i named it based on a line from the scene it's like "he grinned - a little wild, a little fond" and it just stuck

i haven't done any more writing for it because ya boi hasn't written in Ten Thousand Years but i've been working on fleshing out the characters so !!!

wilder - they're a nonbinary teenager, like 14/15, who starts showing signs of magical abilities. the story is set in a fantasy world where magic is fairly prevelent but their family is like. magic deniers. so they run away. and they find themselves at a magic shoppe owned by:

amariel - a middle aged grumpy ass guy who hates everyone and everything. he's a great sorcerer, and soon to be reluctant father figure. he's aroace, and married to his lifelong best friend and platonic soulmate:

bear - a big fat butch woman who is the literal embodiment of sunshine. one hug from her will cure your depression. she does glassblowing art, some carpentry, and she used to be a soldier, so she acts as defense for amariel and their ward, wilder, during The JourneyTM

cordelia - known as captain cord to most, this is our resident transfem bisexual pirate. she's actually the reincarnation of the goddess of the sea. she was cursed to live out human lives, forever seperated from her lover, the moon. she has no memory of her past lives or the curse, just a faint memory of her lover's face, and an uncontrollable love of the sea. at 16 she runs away and eventually takes over the ship leviathan.

seren - goddess of the moon. i haven't figured it out exacly yet but cord's curse was actually a punishment for seren. don't have much else for her yet.

prince zenith "nyx" revallie - a cringefail pretty boy. the only thing he's ever done right in his life is allowing cord to basically control the royal waters. he ends up in a polycule with cord and seren so basically you have these two ultra power women and their pet prince. his entire existence is due to my love for pirate/royal stories.

i really want for the big theme of the story to be like. about how the more you love yourself the more control you have over your life. when you hate yourself you have to beg other people for praise and affection and it's so easy for other people to control you. once you start to love yourself you start regaining control over yourself and your life. i want to really have it like. wilder is just a broken kid. they've never had anyone show them love or respect in their life. and then these people come into their life and show them love and how each of them is confident in themselves in their own ways and it teaches wilder to respect themselves. and the more they learn to love themself, the better they become at controlling their magic.

anyway its big queer found family shit. i'm trying to work an angel in there somewhere. there'll be a dragon at some point. big themes of "women are the best at swords", because i am a humble lesbian. lots of indulgent magic training scenes.

thank you so much for asking fam ilysm <333

[countenanceblog]

Chapter 69

Chapter 69

The suburban streets of outer Monolith were quiet as Gwyneth and Nook set out on their mission to find the lost dogs. The morning sun was still low. Gwyneth's imposing figure attracted attention from passersby, while Nook's shy demeanor made her blend in seamlessly with the street.

Nook closed her eyes for a moment, focusing her powers as the goddess Materiya. In her mind's eye, she could see through the eyes of animals all around the city. Her connection with them allowed her to locate her missing dogs quickly. She pointed in the direction of a nearby park and said with certainty, "They're over there."

Gwyneth smiled, impressed by Nook's ability. "You're amazing, Nook," she said sincerely. "Lead the way, and we'll find them in no time."

As they made their way to the park, Nook couldn't help but feel grateful for Gwyneth's support. The fiery goddess had a way of making her feel at ease, despite her natural shyness. She admired Gwyneth's confidence and the strength she exuded, but she also knew that beneath that fiery exterior, Gwyneth carried her own burdens and pain.

They arrived at the park to find the two dogs, eagerly wagging their tails as they recognized Nook. They had been following their instincts to stay close to the scent of their beloved owner. Nook crouched down to pet them lovingly, tears of relief welling up in her eyes. "Thank you, Gwyn," she said, her voice filled with emotion. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

Gwyneth smiled warmly, happy to have helped her friend. "Of course, Nook," she replied, feeling a sense of kinship with the gentle goddess. "Anytime."

As they stood up to leave the park, Gwyneth decided to share her thoughts with Nook, knowing that the shy goddess was a good listener. "Nook," she began, her voice tinged with a mix of frustration and sadness. "I can't help but be angry at Aleister sometimes. He's cool and composed, sure, but he didn't use his power to save my cousin Maggie or the families of our friends when they were killed. I don't know about time travel. I'm pissed."

Nook nodded, understanding Gwyneth's pain. "I can see why you would be angry," she said softly. "Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen the way they do, especially when someone has the power to change it."

Gwyneth sighed, her emotions churning inside her. "And then there's Rufus," she continued, a hint of jealousy creeping into her tone. "He's so sarcastic and carefree, but he's hitting on Emilya instead of me. And Maggie's hardly in he ground, but I couldn't stop from getting jealous anyway."

Nook looked at Gwyneth sympathetically, recognizing the vulnerability behind her words. "It's okay to feel hurt and jealous," she said gently. "But remember, Rufus is his own person, and Emilya has her own feelings too. Sometimes, we can't control who we're attracted to."

Gwyneth nodded, appreciating Nook's understanding. "You're right," she admitted, her fiery demeanor softening. "I guess I just wish things were different, you know? That I could find someone who sees me for who I am, flaws and all. I've never met anyone who really saw me."

Nook placed a comforting hand on Gwyneth's shoulder. "You will," she said with a reassuring smile. "You're an amazing person, Gwyneth, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. Rufus has no concept."

Gwyneth felt a sense of warmth in Nook's words. "Thank you, Nook. I mean Materiya." she said sincerely. "I'm lucky to have you as a friend too."

Materiya smiled warmly. She grabbed hold of her dogs.

Venuzia nodded. Without even touching, the two of them vanished into a slender, mind-bending portal.

[pokomumee]

@dimplesandfierceeyes Thank you so much for tagging me. I think I can run this thread into the ground all by myself because this brain rot has been rotting my brain 24/7 for the past 5 months. Pran giving up control, letting loose with Pat around because he can, and because Pat is going to makes sure to take care of Pran, because they will take care of each other…yep.

So please have a part of my slightly smutty fic as part of this thread for now. It’s Pat’s POV, but Pran will probably sharing his piece soon, too.

):)

Anyway, Pat’s actual point is, it never comes as a surprise that Pran’d also like to be in control in bed, which, by the way, Pat finds really really hot. Pran can get pretty bossy in bed, and that’s putting it lightly.

Doesn’t matter if he is topping or bottoming, Pran has the unique ability to get Pat to do whatever he wants, exactly the way he wants, just by looking at Pat a certain way that he knows would turn Pat into putty in his hands. Sometimes Pran’d even just resort to giving Pat the pointers before they start the deed. Pat isn’t complaining, no sir, absolutely not. It’s sex with Pran so it’s always going to be good, mind scorchingly good.

Pat loves having Pran have his ways with him, all confident and commanding in bed. It’s so sexy and satisfies something primal within Pat that needs to know he’s giving Pran what he wants, being what Pran needs.

You’d think Pran is so prim and proper, he’d be vanilla in bed, right? Think again.

Compared to Pran, Pat’s the vanilla one, vegan version, low fat, low sugar. His Pran is a man’s man and a minx all wrapped into one, it makes Pat salivate just thinking about it.

But then there is also another version of Pran that Pat had come to notice in bits and pieces a year or two into their relationship. This is the Pran who sometimes desperately needs to loosen the white-knuckled grip he uses to hold onto everything in life, get out of his own head and let go just for a bit. And by a bit, Pat means a lot.

Back then, when school work became too much or the stress of life overall became straining, Pat really wished he could do more for Pran. But Pran’d always been so independent and capable, and he’d try to deal with everything himself, only coming to Pat when he thought everything was under control. Pat really wanted to share the stress, wished Pran would let him help take over some of the burden.

More than anything, Pat just wanted to be able to take care of Pran, let him know it was alright to let go of the control with Pat.

Pran, of course, had never said anything outright, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he needed. An engineer who loved and cared about him so much it was difficult to breathe sometimes could probably work it out. Which, yeah, Pat totally fit the bill.

It wasn’t as if Pat was actively looking for a way to make Pran lose control, because, no, that’d be weird and counterproductive. But he'd often wonder how he could help Pran to maybe relax a little more, feel the need to always be in control a little less.

He'd be willing to do anything.

Pat just really wanted to take care of Pran in any way possible.

He hadn’t actually expected that one of the ways that he could get Pran to ease up the control would actually be with sex. Pat’s no prude, no one would mistake him for one, so looking back it shouldn’t have surprised him. But, yeah.

Yeah.

):)

more on ao3 if anyone is so inclined ):)

Hi hello, a bad buddy thought a day will keep the doctor away and the brain rot will continue!

Bad Buddy Thought Of The Day: Pran is fiercely independent and needs no help. He CAN do things on his own and he WILL do it too! Except when Pat enters the scene. Because Pat is his exception. Pat is his rock he can rely on when being fiercely independent and competent is just exhausting or just makes him sad. He has Pat and he can hide in his arms and his back or just listen to his voice and he knows. There is someone out there to hold my hand and give me strength.

Anon, you are so correct! BB keeps us all healthy (ignore those brain scan results, it's fine, it's fine)

The weight of his parents' expectations was exhausting. Attending club after club, cram school after cram school, always fighting for top place—he could feel his grip on it all boughing under the the pressure. He wondered how long it would take him to snap.

But then came the river.

And slowly, slowly, Pat reached out a hand to help him hold it all up, and in return, Pran reached out to help carry his burden as well. It didn't change the weight, but it was easier when they could share the load. Essays, tests, match days, competitions, music lessons, each slotted into a careful tally of wins and losses negotiated to keep everyone happy.

And that left time for the silly, for the fun, for the ridiculous. How fast can you run up those stairs? How many sweets can you eat in 30 seconds? How long can you hold your breath?

And somehow, the competing became fun, became something to look forward to, became something that brought them closer instead of a wedge pushing them apart.

He didn't realise how much he relied on it until he didn't have it anymore.

Thought of the day, of course, turned into ficlet of the day for me 😂 and now I feel like seeing if other people have thoughts on this.

How do Pran and Pat support each other? How important is that support to each to them?

If you want, reblog this with your thoughts, ficlets, edits, gifs, whatever you want! We could have a little Bad Buddy chain post 😊

Tagging a few people who might be interested:

@galauvant @incandescentflower @i-got-the-feels @faillen @lost-my-sanity1 @springhaven @dribs-and-drabbles @dudeyuri @soberbutsleepless @lurkingshan @takeadeepbreathandexist @paalove @pokomumee @telomeke-bbs @hyeoni-comb @hereforlou @summerofofelia @ephemeralunicornsstuff @snickerdoodlles @toomoonfic @theheightofdishonor @givemebiscuits @an-asuryampasya

[ruffianblue]

Best first date?

I’m on a certain dating app and match with a cute guy who looks like the human version of a golden retriever. I text him, and he replies quickly! He is literate! He warns me that he is only in the area for travel, and will be flying home in a few days. I am sorely disappointed, but thank him for being upfront. He asks me out on a date, and I turn him down politely - the conversation is going great, but I am wary of long distance relationships and do not see the point in meeting if it won’t progress any further. We decide to take the conversation off the app anyway and I download a messaging app just so I can continue talking to him. He asks me my attachment style; I tell him frankly that it is anxious. He thanks me for sharing and says his is secure - of course. Seemingly unperturbed by my confession, he asks me out again. I say yes this time; I can’t turn down this man twice in a row! He tells me he will be on a trip in another city on the day we meet, but it’s all good because he will change his boat ticket! He plans to catch me in that small window of time before I have to leave for my evening class. We then discover it’s not possible to change the time for his ticket. He reassures me that he will figure it out and later ends up lining up in a standby queue for over half an hour, after which, fortunately, he was allowed to board an earlier boat. He successfully makes it back to my city, right on time, for the date.

We have just short of an hour. We sit down in the cafe, we talk - well, I mostly asked reflective questions and let him chatter away. His confidence and unique ability to make me feel at ease is overwhelmingly attractive. When it’s time to pay, he tells me he’s got it and literally shoots out of his chair to get to the counter - this has to be the first time I’ve ever felt like a guy actually wanted to pay for me out of his own volition and not simply due to date etiquette. He insists on walking me to my class and when we reach the building, we share our goodbyes at the door. I want to ask to hug him, but the words get stuck in my throat. We wave, he smiles as he turns to leave, finally disappearing around the corner, and then he’s gone, as quickly as he came into my life.

Why was this the best date? 

I was moved by his sincerity and persistence - it’s not every day that someone will change their literal travel plans just to meet me. 

He was one green flag after the other - being a good communicator, having a secure attachment, showing genuine concern for my needs.

He has shown me what a “good” man can look like; and in doing so has allowed me to realise that none of the (eight) guys I have met up with off various dating apps have been up to standard - I can’t settle for less now that I know the bar can be so high.

Thank you, next ☺

[bylightofdawn]

Totally not a WIP Sunday I mean Monday I mean Tuesday post.

Because I was so annoyed after fighting with tumblr for hours yesterday I kinda forgot to post a snippet for WIP Sunday.

This was technically written today so it wouldn't count anyway but I'm amusing myself writing Jango and Myles's big brother endlessly teasing his annoyed little brother energy so I'm going to post a snippet today anyway.

Only thing you need to know is Myles and Mace had a very fun not-a-date lunch and they figured out they clicked together on an interpersonal level. And this takes place after that lunch

As always, this is SUPER rough and has not even begun to be spellchecked or grammar checked. Also, I know kad'ika is not real Mandoa but it is so obnoxious sounding that I couldn't not use it.

EDIT: Ended up taking out the joke about a Falleen Mercenary and all the super sticky consent issues with Legends whole sex pheromones thing. It was funny but also kinda a bit of a yikes. This is why we edit things and nothing is promised to end up in the final draft. Pffft

From that point on, their conversation meandered on, covering a surprising number of topics. Mace was actually an interesting conversationalist Myles was discovering and it was surprisingly easy to talk to him.

Outside of Plo Koon, he’d never had much experience dealing with Jedi but Mace definitely wasn’t anything like how he’d imagined a Jedi to be. 

He was funny in a quietly understated, dry humor sort of way but there was definitely a bit of mischief in him despite his attempts at being a staid Jedi. And Stars have mercy on him, he’d never been able to resist a puzzle. 

By the time they finished with their lunch, he was surprised to realize he was sad their time was over. As they walked back towards the Halls of Healing, Mace pointed out various features and things he thought might interest Myles. 

When they reached Jango’s door, the Jedi paused there with a curious look on his face and Myles found himself wondering if he wasn’t the only one who regretted their time was at an end. 

“Thanks for the meal, I appreciate it.” 

“It was my pleasure,” Mace said with one of those barely there smiles of his. 

“We should do this again sometime. Maybe somewhere on this planet there is a place you can find a real Mando meal.”  Myles found himself suggesting suddenly before his brain re-engaged and realized what he’d said. Judging by the surprised look on the Jedi’s face, he had not been expecting it either.

“After your description of Mandalorian food, I’m not sure I would survive the experience.” 

“You are made of sterner stuff, I think you will survive.” 

“I appreciate your confidence in my ability to handle weapons grade spice levels. I saw how much hot sauce you put on your food.” 

“I mean, watching you try and maintain a calm and collected front while your mouth was on fire did sound like a funny sight but I am open to the idea of other food venues I suppose.” 

“So the truth comes out.” Amusement gleamed in the Jedi’s dark eyes when he said that. “I think I would enjoy that. I enjoyed our talks today, Myles. It has been an enlightening experience.”

“Hopefully it’s been a good sort of enlightening.” Myles teased and they exchanged numbers for their coms with the promise to touch base sometime soon to iron out the details of their dinner date. 

With that, Mace left him with a polite nod and Myles let himself into Jango’s room, fully expecting to find the boy asleep. Instead, he sat there looking grumpy and unamused. 

“Seriously?” The teenager asked disbelieving. 

“What?”

“Did you just ask a kriffing Jedi on a date?”

“Did I?” The fact Myles had to ask himself that in a moment of panic didn’t exactly offer reassurance. “How do you even know that?”

“These doors have terrible soundproofing. That’s beside the point, a Jedi.”

“It’s not a date.” 

“Uh huh, I hear that tone of yours. You only use that when you’re trying to sweet talk someone into bed.”

“Okay, first off I think you are skipping like a million steps. Second off, I don’t sound like that when I’m trying to talk someone into bed as you so rudely put it. And third off, even if I was, it’s none of your business.” 

“There has to be something in the water here.” Jango said despaired. 

“What does that even mean?”

“First Jaster and now you? It has to be something in the water that causes perfectly reasonable Mandalorians to take leave of their senses and start sniffing after Jedi like an aak dog in heat.” 

“I would not suggest saying that in front of your father to begin with.” Myles pointed out with a frown. “But besides that, it’s just dinner. He’s actually fun to talk to, and yes he is quite attractive so falling into bed with him wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. I like to think I am doing my part to further diplomatic relations between Mandalore and the Jedi Order.”

“That sounds like a load of osik. But whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night.”

“It’s really not that serious, Jan’ika. Just because your gett'se haven’t dropped yet and you have no idea what to do with your kad’ika doesn’t mean other people can’t enjoy quality time with other adults without it needing to be complicated. But again, I still think you are kind of skipping a million steps between now and there.” 

“I hate you so much.” Jango groaned and threw a pillow at Myles head which the older Mandalorian caught easily. 

“I know you really love me deep down, it’s okay. Your secret is safe with me, verd’ika” 

“I’m going to get out of this bed and kick your shebs from one side of this Temple to the next.”

“As much as I would love to see you try I am pretty sure you’d end up flat on your face instead.” 

“Fine, the moment I am released from this awful hospital bed, I am gonna do just that.” 

“I look forward to you trying.” 

“Ugh. You are the actual worst, do you know that?” 

“I think I’m pretty awesome actually.”

“Nope, just the literal worst. I didn’t think you could somehow top that mess with the Dathomiri witch.”

“In my defense, how was I supposed to know she was Nightsister?  I think that still takes the cake for the worst sexual decision of my young life. Honestly, a Jedi seems halfway tame in comparison.”

Jango just shook his head and rolled his eyes heavenward as though asking the universe for patience.

[darlingofdots]

Which is a list of reasons that I believe Harrow and Gideon will get a Happy For Now, at least:

it’s thematically set up this way. GtN was about the two of them figuring out how not to hate each other, HtN is Harrow rejecting a world without Gideon with every fibre of her being and starting to learn that love is not acquisitive, as Ianthe says, and that sacrificing herself for Gideon the way Gideon did for her isn’t the right way, either. HtN was not Harrow’s journey through the stages of grief, culminating in acceptance, it is Harrow refusing to accept that the choice presented to them at the end of GtN – the choice of Lyctorhood or death – was the only choice available. HtN is all about choices, from the false one God gives her when he says she can be his Saint or return to the Ninth despite the latter being impossible, the choice to lock her memory of Gideon away to protect her soul, to the final decision whether to stay in the River and fade or return to her body and complete the Lyctoral process. In her letter to herself, pre-homebrew lobotomy Harrow says ‘Look upon me as a Harrowhark who was handed the first genuine choice of our lives’. Gideon didn’t think she had a choice when she died for Harrow and Harrow didn’t think she had a choice when she consumed Gideon’s soul, because the universe/God/the narrative did not present an option other than Death. Everything in GtN said ‘this is how it has to be’ and HtN is Harrow saying ‘not if I get a say’. Thematically, the only way this story can be concluded is by the two of them getting to decide what the options are, and I don’t see either of them not choosing to be with the other.

The bubble sequences in HtN allow characters who were wronged in GtN to make their voice heard. The reader comes out of GtN sad, and frustrated, and probably finding it all quite unfair, and then we get to see some of the characters who were unfairly killed again and this time, they have agency and power over their situation. I’d say Dulcie is the strongest example of this: she was killed off without a thought, off-screen, but in HtN she gets to be a person who gets to actively participates in her own narrative. I choose to read this as a continuation of the theme about choices and inevitability; just because the narrative/the universe/God treated you unfairly before doesn’t mean you won’t get to have your say.  

The pieces are all there. I would say at this point it’s established that there is a way to achieve perfect Lyctorhood in which the cavalier doesn’t have to be consumed, namely because:

a) in chapter 33 of HtN, Camilla’s previously dark brown eyes are ‘neither grey nor brown but both’, a mixture of her own and Palamedes’ eye colours, which we have established is a ‘symptom’ of the bond between souls that occurs in Lyctorhood, and Palamedes’ reaction to Harrow showing up in his bubble suggests he’d figured out how to do it, made provisions for him and Camilla to do it, and fully expected Harrow to do the same

b) the whole Gideon Prime/Pyrrha situation which suggests an albeit imperfect version of the Lyctoral process can occur in which both souls survive (this is most like what Harrow ended up doing to herself, I’d say)

c) Augustine and Mercy’s theories about God’s connection with Alecto, including the eye switcheroo, sounds very plausible to me, and God pretty much admitted that the reason he killed Samael was that Anastasia was too close to achieving perfect Lyctorhood and he couldn’t risk the others either finding out that it would have been an option and resenting him for the deaths of their cavaliers (fair) or figuring out where he actually got his power from

So here’s a way for Harrow and Gideon to both be alive, fuelling each other’s power (I’d say for the final showdown against God but that’s mostly unfounded). It has also been established that Gideon’s really hard to kill: she didn’t die of the nerve gas on the Ninth and the siphoning challenge, which Palamedes calculated would leave most cavs who weren’t bred to be human batteries with brain damage at least, just knocked her out for a couple of hours. And on top of that, we know for a fact that Blood of Eden took Gideon’s body from Canaan House because it wasn’t there when the Cohort arrived and Mercy saw it. If you put all these pieces together, that looks to me like it’s setting up Gideon returning to her own body and achieving perfect Lyctorhood (which I would say symbolises perfect cooperation, perfect togetherness, perfect partnership) with Harrow. Camilla’s actions in HtN also indicate to me that she is confident she can somehow restore Palamedes in some capacity, as long as the bone she restored has his soul attached to it, and the fact that Harrow transforms the bit of skull into a hand because ‘he specifically requested movement’ suggests that there’s something to it. Admittedly Palamedes is a revenant at this point and we’ve been told they don’t really tend to stick around for too long and usually lose cohesion of spirit eventually, but I’m willing to discard that in this instance because Harrow also said he’d be mad already after eight months in the river, and she was clearly impressed by the way he’d ‘preserved’ himself in the bubble on the Riverbank. The parallels to Gideon’s soul being stored away in a kind of bubble in Harrow’s memory are, in my opinion, too strong to ignore.

Tamsyn Muir does not strike me as the kind of person who writer spend two books setting up the bond, the relationship between two characters the way Gideon and Harrow have been set up only to go ‘lol no’ at the end of it.

Bringing all of this together – obviously most of what I’ve said is ‘just’ foreshadowing and doesn’t mean it’ll actually happen this way. But there’s an awful lot of foreshadowing in both GtN and HtN, ranging from subtle to fiendishly subtle, and it’s the kind where the reader gets to a big reveal and either goes ‘oooh I was right, I knew x would happen because of y and z’ or, alternatively, spends their first reread gleefully pointing at bits of dialogue and cackling ‘Tamsyn Muir, you legend, I should have known’. It is not the kind of foreshadowing that leads the reader down one path only to go ‘ha, idiot, you really thought you knew where this was going’. Of course, sometimes you don’t know where she’s going (especially if you’re like me and just accept the wildest shit on face value the first time around), but it’s still all there if you know where to look. I think when people say they’re scared of Gideon and Harrow not being endgame or the whole trilogy just leading up to tragedy, it’s because the ‘ha, gotcha’ attitude to foreshadowing has become more prevalent in the last couple of years despite being really frustrating for audiences and, in my own opinion, not really Good Writing. Yes, the ending of GtN was a punch in the stomach, and I understand that people might not be so ready to trust the series after that. But you can’t really read HtN, which, again, is a complete and utter rejection of the ending of GtN and instead sees Harrow accepting help and care and advice from others and starting to grow into a more whole person who does not try to do everything by herself because that’s the only life she knows, and not see that bleak tragedy is not where this is going.

[another-stark-sub]

“Are you in love with him?” - Tony Stark Imagine

Notes: I wrote and editted this in two hours instead of going over my notes. Was gonna be spicy fluffy but it just turned into fluffy, and one of the lines/paragraphs (smth like that i dont remember how long that segment was) is based on/inspired by a fanfic on ao3 I bookmarked. I think it’s debt-free, but I could be wrong.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I’m so sorry im not on here more oftennnnn

- - -

“Of course I am. He’s Tony Stark.” You sighed, a weight finally lifted off your chest. “Who isn’t in love with him?”

Bruce blinked a few times, the confusion evident on his face. “Then, why don’t you tell him?”

You scoffed. These geniuses think they know everything, but they couldn’t see what was glaringly obvious to you. “He’s Tony Stark.”

The perplexed expression didn’t disappear from your friend’s expression. So, you explained further, “It’s already a privilege, beyond that really, to be talking to you, to any Avenger. To work with any of you is an honor, and to be friends with you” -you laughed- “it shouldn’t even be possible for someone like me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re amazing, too.” 

You tried to find any tick, any clue that he was lying. But Bruce seemed to really believe this. “I know I’m amazing.” You shrugged. “I’m great. I love and I care deeply, and I have a stable job. I have a place for myself, and I take care of myself.” You clicked your tongue. “However, you all, all  you Avengers… Forget out of my league, more like off planet.

“And Tony? He said it himself. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Add superhero, figurehead, public figure, ex-CEO, and savior of the universe. Bruce, I have confidence in myself, but Tony is something else entirely. No one is worthy of him or his affections unless they’re a god or another Avenger.”

It was hard to keep up with the statistical analysis you were trying to run. The literal one on your hologram and the one keeping your view of Tony in check. So, defeated, you sighed and leaned back in your chair. 

Bruce closed his own work and stood across the lab bench. “Weirdly enough, I’m sure none of us Avengers think that way.” After a few taps of his pen against his palm, he added, “Aren’t there fans making posts about you, too? Tony showed me the, uh, Instagram videos.”

You laughed. “Fan edits don’t make an Avenger. Saving the world does.”

He shrugged. “You help us save the world.”

“From inside Avengers Tower on a computer.” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bruce, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But, I’m not telling him.” You shrugged and brought your statistical analysis back up.

You knew your own worth. You were worthy of an amazing partner and person. Tony Stark, though, was easy beyond that. You had accepted it soon after you realized your own feelings, and while they haven’t dwindled, you knew it was for the best. 

~ - ~

Tony had never resorted to this before. It was never a question of his ability to code. In the past, it was because he didn’t need a program or an AI to do it for him. He could always tell if someone was into him. He knew when Pepper was into him. The moment Rhodey gazed at him back in their MIT days. Every single reporter and heiress and model he slept with, he knew when their thoughts turned sexual or romantic. 

You, though. With you, he couldn’t fucking tell, and he knew it was because of his own feelings. Tony felt intensely for people before. Pepper, Rhodey, that one reporter all those years ago. However, with you, it wasn’t just that fluttery feeling in his gut or the immediate smile he can’t seem to stop when he sees you. It was the comfort he felt when he heard your voice or the softness he could feel in his heart when he saw a picture of you. 

It was like his entire life was full of panic, never resting, never stopping. But when you entered his life with a gentle smile and a quick wit, it felt like he could finally breathe. 

It was addicting. 

“Sir, I have the calculations.”

“Hit me.”

“Speech diagnostics of you and of Ms. (Y/l/n) are similar. Whenever you speak of her, 79.4% is positive and 18.8% is neutral. Ms. (Y/l/n) has  78.9% positive and 17.2% neutral dialogue regarding you. When she speaks of you, her heartrate increases by 4.6%, and similarly, yours increases by 4.1%. When speaking to each other, heartrate initially increases by 7%.”

Tony nodded. “How does this compare to other Avengers? I gush about Banner like a teenager.”

“Well, sir, while you and Ms. (Y/l/n) have high positive dialogue about other Avengers, all of them have at least a 10% decrease compared to each other. And heartrate varies depending on the topic of conversation.”

Tony snapped his fingers. “Am I excluding all non-super friends? Include any agents, co-workers. Pep isn’t an Avenger after all.”

Friday took two seconds and responded. “You and Ms. (Y/l/n) have a significant difference in speech diagnostics when talking about or to each other compared to any other Avenger, co-worker, and friend.”

When Tony remained quiet, Friday added, “Do you want me to repeat the results?”

“You don’t need to, Friday.”

“But you’re not doing anything with the new information. Would you like me to save these findings?”

“Friday,” Tony warned. 

There was silence as the love-wrecked scientist pressed his fist between his brows. Data and cold hard facts said yes, but was it right?

“Sir?”

“Yes, Fri?”

“Would you like me to play examples for you?”

He blinked. “Examples?”

“Yes. Of you and her talking about each other positively.”

It was an invasion of privacy. Tony shouldn’t. 

“Play examples.”

Before his rational mind could tell Friday no. 

“Are you in love with him?”

Tony’s eyes widened. This was too private. It might not even be about him.”Friday-”

“Of course I am.”

“-stop playback.”

“He’s Tony Sta-”

“Playback stopped.”

Tony scrambled. “What? No, wait, go back. Play it.” Screw rational. You knew he was a narcissist. You wouldn’t expect him to hear that and stop. 

“He’s Tony Stark. Who isn’t in love with him?”

“Then, why don’t you tell him?”

“... He’s Tony Stark.”

Tony started to fiddle with something on his desk. “What does that mean?”

Friday answered, “Dr. Banner asked her if she loved you, and she said yes. This means that she’s in love with you.”

Why did he program Friday like this? “I know that. I mean, those two lines. Why does me being Tony Stark stop her from saying something?” Was it the attention? Did you want some sort of normal life away from cameras and international gossip? Maybe it was the Avenging. Having a partner who was always out risking death wasn’t ideal. 

Sure, you could be in love with him. But you couldn’t be with him. 

“Maybe you should ask her.”

There were celebrities who were able to live normal lives. Some paid to have prosthetics for going outside of moved to a remote country to get out of the spotlight. He thrived off attention, but he could give that up. Avenging, he couldn’t give that up, but maybe he could cut back. Take a mission a month instead of one a week. Or maybe take more digital missions. He wasn’t just Iron Man after all. He was a genius, could hack into the Pentagon if he really wanted to. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I could talk to her.”

~ - ~

The moment you put your bag down on your lab table, Tony said, “You’re gonna be mad.”

You narrowed your brows. “What did you do?” You pressed your palm to your chest. “Oh my god, Peter overwrote my data, didn’t he? Ugh, I know he said he’s great at managing holograms, but really, Tone, you should’ve given him a tutorial before giving him access.” You brought up your holograms to check your data and analysis. 

“That’s not it.” Tony stood next to you as you looked through your files. “I did something that invaded your privacy.”

You tilted your head. Closing the holograms, you took a deep breath and slowly asked, “How?”

Tony flashed an embarrassed grin before sighing. “You’re gonna be shocked, too, so prepare yourself.”

You did not know where this was going at all. What horrible thing could Tony have done? Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded at him to continue. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Usually, I can tell when someone has feelings for me. People are obvious about it, but you? You aren’t. So, I had Friday do some analysis on our speech patterns. Me, being in love with you, was one of my controls. You and your dialogue regarding me was the main variable. 

“Long story short, I accessed some audio of you and Bruce talking, and you said that you loved me but could never tell me.” He glanced at you. “So that’s why I need to apologize.” 

Your expression didn’t change. No, that wasn’t it. You, at first, looked confused. Now, there was just nothing. No expression. No wrinkled brow in anger of flushed cheeks in embarrassment. Nothing. 

Tony blinked. “You can shout at me now. If you were confused about when to shout at me.”

You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. “Ok, that was a lot.” You pursed your lips then opened it. But, you couldn’t really think of anything to say. You didn’t even know how to feel. “So you know that I” -you pointed at yourself and then at him- “and that I didn’t wanna tell you.” You shook your head. “Wait, do you know why I didn’t want to tell you?”

A broken scoff left Tony’s lips. “Yeah. I’m a mess.”

It was your turn to scoff. “Wait, you’re a mess? That’s why you think I don’t want to tell you?”

“Among other reasons?”

Other reasons? 

You crossed your arms. “Ok, what other reasons?”

Tony looked offended. Still, he listed, “I’m surrounded by cameras, and everyone wants some privacy. Can’t get it if you’re with me. Then, there’s the Iron Man of it all. I went into a wormhole with a nuke. That was also all over the news. Then, there’s the whole daddy issues thing. I’m working on it, but it takes a while-”

He rambled on and on, listing reason after reason, and with each one, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was a weird mix of heartbreaking, confusing, and enraging. The emotions built up slowly with each word that left his mouth, overwhelming you to the point that you couldn’t even say how it happened. 

But, as Tony paced and talked so horribly about himself, you somehow ended up in front of him with your hands on his cheeks. 

You only realized it when Tony stopped talking and when his breath touched your lips. “What?” he asked. 

You didn’t answer. You kissed him instead. 

It was a hard press of  your lips against his. It was short, and it wasn’t much. 

But by the way Tony gripped the back of your neck and pulled you back for another kiss, you’d think it was his first kiss. You knew it wasn’t. Not just because you knew he had kissed all sorts of people before you, but because he somehow knew how to make you gasp and melt into him. 

While one hand kept you steady, the other trailed down your back and pulled you closer to him. His lips moved fluidly against yours, pushing and pulling, and everytime he moved back, you chased his lips to continue the kiss, because the softness, the passion, the fact it was finally happening, was all too good. You didn’t want it to stop.

Your hands started to move. For someone so rich, his t-shirt was rough when you twisted it between your fingers and pulled it to you. Slowly, you trailed your fingers along the side of his neck. You rubbed your thumb along his pulse point, a reminder that this was indeed real. You were kissing Tony Stark, and- He was pulling away again.

Desperate, you leaned forward, reached around to hold onto his shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck. 

He let out a breathy laugh, and before you could suck on his skin, his stubble scratched your cheek. 

You looked up at him and giggled when his nose bumped into yours. When your giggles turned into a smile, he kissed you again, a soft and short kiss, before leaning his forehead against yours. 

His thumbs rubbed circles into your waist as you lightly scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed busy gazing at you.

“Speechless, Stark?” you teased. 

He laughed. For a few seconds, he just gazed at you, seeming to prove your point. Tony’s hand began to wander, from stroking your cheek to pushing back your hair. “More confused.”

Remembering why you interrupted him, you brought your hands to his cheeks again and held him there so he couldn’t look away from you. “You are amazing, Tony. That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you.” You shrugged. “You’re too good for me.”

His fidgeting stopped. “Well, that’s not true.”

“Tony, you’re an Avenger.”

“Technically, you are also an Avenger.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Who can’t cook scrambled eggs.”

“You literally saved the universe.”

“After producing weapons of mass destruction for decades.”

You glared at him. 

He glared back. Then, he fought back. “I don’t plan on retiring.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“I have severe PTSD, anxiety, maybe ADHD, all mixed with trauma galore.”

“And I will learn to help you.”

“I couldn’t give you a normal life.”

“I’d rather have you anyway.”

He opened his mouth, but you instead told him, “I’d rather have you than anything. As long as, well, for as long as  you’ll have me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

Tony shook his head with a smile. “Cause, I’d rather have you for, well, how does til you get tired of me sound?”

You laughed. “Won’t happen. But, sure.” You kissed him again.You would’ve kept going, but there was something to settle first.  “By the way, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Friday recording right now?”

“Friday records everything. It’s in the contract.”

Friday added, “I record everything that happens in the tower.”

“Ok.” You could work with that. “I’ll forgive you for the invasion of privacy.”

Tony beamed, and you couldn’t help your own smile when he did. Still, you continued, “On one condition.” Your own smile turned devious. “I want evidence that Star Spangled Banner took my ice cream.”

Tony burst out laughing. He kissed you again, a deep kiss, and when he was done, he mumbled, “God, I love you,” against your lips.