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deewithani · 3 years ago

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Raindrops in the Wind - Chapter 1

Chapter Rating: G

Work Rating: Explicit (18+)

Pairing: Jango Fett x F!Reader

Word count: Approx. 2k

Warnings: None. Jango being sneaky?

A/N: Not Canon or Legends friendly. AU from the very beginning. Bits and pieces from here and there, molded to fit my grand vision, muahahaha *coughs*. Anyway... Chapters will list their individual ratings, work is rated Explicit (18+) for eventual explicit content.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

'What have I done?'

The words rang hollow in his ear as he fought with the Jedi that had shown up at his door. He hated the man, truly. He hated that he showed up on Kamino. He hated that he started to ask questions. He hated that he was a Jedi.

He hated Jedi.

It was not supposed to be like this. He was supposed to provide his DNA to the long-necks whenever they needed it and help train their creation. In return he got an unaltered clone. A son. A safe place to raise him. Enough credits to live very comfortably for the rest of his days. And the knowledge that an army was being raised that would destroy the Jedi.

'I should have left well enough alone. I shouldn't have taken that bounty.'

----------------

It was a good deal, he thought to himself, the offer that this 'Lord Tyranus' placed before him. He would be stupid to pass it up, and Jango Fett was anything but stupid. It would give him what he always wanted, a son, to carry on his lineage, and a hefty purse full of credits, no questions asked. No, he was not stupid. He knew very well who this 'Lord Tyranus' was that stood before him. It was the very same Jedi that helped bring the defeat of the True Mandalorians, Count Dooku. All Jango truly wanted from the exchange was an unaltered clone that he could raise as a son, and Tyranus quickly agreed.

At the time, Jango didn't know that he and Dooku shared the same end game, the destruction of the Jedi order. All Jango knew was that Dooku was no longer friendly with the order, having abandoned them, publicly declaring their corruption before the galaxy. He figured he could sus out the real reason behind Dooku's job easily enought once he was on Kamino and around others he could manipulate into revealing the truth.

In all honesty, it wasn't very hard at all to figure out much of what was going on. The Kaminoans were ecstatic about the new contract they had scored to provide the Galactic Republic with millions of perfect soldiers. They poked and proded at Jango daily for his DNA and openly discussed his own physical shortcomings like they were no matter at all, as if they were simply ink marks on a piece of flimsi, mistakes that could be erased and fixed with no bearing on the final product. They were open with this being a request from the Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, which made no sense to Jango, as he had been hired by 'Tyranus', who most certaily wasn't Syfo-Dyas – whoever they were. He thought maybe this Jedi was also fed up with the Order, and was looking to make a strike back, but solid information on this Jedi was slim..

In any case, very little of the entire job was making sense to Jango. Why was a former Jedi Master, whether it was Dooku or Sifo-Dyas didn't matter at this point, paying for the creation of a clone army for the very Order and Republic that they abhored?

Jango continued on, day after day, providing DNA to the Kaminoans, gathering trusted allies to begin the training of the clones that were still growing in their tubes, and listening and obtaining information from any corner of Tipoca City he could. He set the Cuy'val Dar to the tasks of creating a sound, well-rounded training regiment, and on an information gathering mission, telling them to “Listen to everything anyone says. Every single word. Kaminoans, humans, anyone else. I don't care if they're talking about the next shipment of Jogan fruit. I want to know every word. Bring it to me.”

Jango spent hours every day, pouring over intelligence reports, but most of what was gathered was mundane. Lama Su had tea alone this afternoon, did you hear that we're supposed to have a break in the rain next week, the butcher is overcharging for nerf again. The every day gossip and gripes of a bored populace stuck on a perpetually wet and miserable planet. But Jango was nothing if not patient. The cloners told him that he should expect to be working with them for decades, so he decided to settle in and be patient. What he wanted to know would come to him. He would hear it directly from one of the longnecks themselves, or one of the Cuy'val Dar would hear it in passing and report it to him. He would know the true reason he was there. He would know the reason for the creation of the clones.

An unreal amount of credits has been pumped into this project, more than he thought was necessary, to be honest. Jango's bank account is overflowing with credits, and he hadn't had to touch a single one. He'd been provided with his own apartment, furnished with everything he requested. His Cuy'val Dar were paid directly by the client, the same as he was, and were paid a hefty premium too. Whispered word through the cloners was that this project was revitalizing their entire industry, allowing them the financial means to work on the perfection of not just his genetic material, but the genetics of hundreds of other species, not all of them sentient. Factories were starting up for the creation of armor and weaponry, the potable food industry was pushing out rations as quickly as they could be rolled down the assembly line, and tech companies were building holopads and coms as fast as they could get the chips and circuitry to do so. And it was all possible by the injection of credits from 'Lord Tyranus'.

He knew, also, that the Kaminoans were planning on “double-dipping” the Republic when the time came, and was nearly certain all the other industries that had already been paid hefty retainer fees would do the same. There was no shame in getting your due, but it was more of the pervasive corruption that Dooku saw that was eating away at the Galactic Republic, everyone had their hands out, pressing for more and more credits from any party they could. He heard the longnecks complaining that the Armorers had already been paid to purchase enough plastoid to manufacture 250,000 full sets of armor and had already received at least half of their full payment for the total manufacturing cost itself, but they had already began sending invoices to Kamino for the purchase of the armor at standard price, as if they were coming out of their own pocket on the project. Whether or not any of it was true was anyone's guess, but the single bit of information he heard from all corners was that the Kaminoans were not going to lose a single credit from this project, no matter who they had to charge for services. He could hardly blame them, their only true industry was cloning, and a project of this magnitude was going to take nearly their entire industry to support it. If anything went wrong, if anyone double charged them and they covered it with just a promise of later pay that never came through it could ruin their entire economy. So the decision was made to pass on the cost of everything to the Republic, in full for each batch ordered, because even with a hefty bankroll the bank could run dry very quickly. If everything went according to plan their cash flow would be enormous, but they were experts in searching out and fixing “problems” and they were not so naive to believe everything would go according to plan.

And so it went. Years passed, clones were trained, bounties were picked up, and Jango's unaltered clone, his son, began to grow into a fine young man - smart, capable, and hopefully well prepared for anything life would throw at him. Jango knew the galaxy was a rough place, and he was determined to make sure Boba had the tools he needed to survive – and survive easily. During his free time he trained him, harder than he trained the clones who would go off to war, running through close combat scenarios, teaching infiltration and stealth tactics, weapons proficiency, common language tutoring, sharpshooting, general maintenance on anything from blasters to air cooling units. Anything that he believed would give Boba a leg up on the competition – and anything to help him stay alive. He would take Boba with him on hunts too, giving him hands-on experience that he just wouldn't get sparring and running through drills.

The most important lesson Jango would gift to Boba was to trust no one but himself and his family, and to always keep his ears and eyes open for anything “strange”. Strange, of course, could have multiple meanings, but Jango trusted that Boba understood the complexities of all the things “strange” could include. Knowledge and information are as good as credits in hand, and in many cases could be much more valuable than beskar itself, buying the owner of said information freedom and power, if it was valuable enough, of course. And on one rather normal day, as normal as it goes on Kamino, anyway, Boba brought Jango some very valuable information.

While Jango tolerated the Kaminoans, as it was unfortunately necessary, Boba didn't really mind them one way or the other, having grown up around them for the entirety of his young life. So when it came time for Boba's yearly checkup during his 9th year, he didn't think twice to let the boy go on his own. The Kaminoans had always accepted his request for non-Kaminoan involvement in his son's healthcare, so they always ensured he was seen by a medical droid. He didn't suspect this year would be different. In any case, Boba knew to deflect any questions and leave if his request wasn't honored. Dislike them though he did, the longnecks never went back on their promises to him. This would make a good, safe, learning experience for Boba, and Jango instructed him to bring back as much as he could remember about everything, to train him in situational awareness and help him learn how to observe without being observed.

Later that day, after he had seen and cleared, Boba was eager to tell Jango about his checkup. He returned to their apartment, his adolescent energy barely contained, itching to run through the door and let his new secret loose, because something strange did happen at this appointment. He was prepared to give his report to Jango, and he was sure his dad would be proud of what he had learned.

“Dad!”, Boba called out, “I need to tell you about my checkup! It's important!” From his seat in the living area Jango raised an eyebrow, watching Boba try and fail to keep from bouncing on the balls of his feet. “C'mere, son, tell me about your checkup.” Boba walked forward, head held high and mischievous glint in his eyes. ”You told me to watch for anything strange. Something strange happened! There was a woman there today. A human woman! Told me she was training!”

“Good job, Boba. Go on then, clean up for dinner. You can tell me everything else then.” Jango watched as Boba's grin grew even wider, before he turned and ran to the 'fresher.

'Well, that is strange', Jango mused to himself, as he began to formulate his plan. It was time to see if he could gain some real information from this new player. Jango was nothing if not patient, and this may be the time for his patience to start paying off.

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Taglist: @latenightsthoughtsnstuff @return-of-the-simp

If anyone wants added to my taglist, let me know ☺️

#jango fett x reader #star wars au #star wars fanfiction #order 66 au

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vidalinav · 4 years ago

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As someone that loves almost every character in ACOTAR but still wants to discuss their flaws and slip ups I really liked your post about Nesta and how she treated Feyre as a sister. None of the characters in ACOTAR are perfect. They have flaws and people in the fandom need to keep the same tone about all of them when it comes to that. Don't excuse one character and bash on the next. Like of course you can have your favorites, but Idk I just love seeing the characters as flawed rather than put them on a pedestal. Cheers 🖤

I mean I absolutely love flaws. I love Nesta for that reason. She’s such an imperfect, easily debatable character. Her interactions with others are amazing because of this, because she’s not so easy to be around, so she pushes a lot of boundaries or expands the way these characters have learned to adapt in their world. They’ve never met anyone who is not so easily swayed, which is obvious in all her interactions with them. Though I won’t get into it, since this post will be a thousand times longer.

But I think if any character is most human-like, as in she is based on how someone in the real world would act, she’s probably the most authentic in my opinion. But authenticity requires a level of flaws that can’t be denied or overwritten. So, I really did want to stress that, that she can keep her mistakes, her cold demeanor, her sometimes harsh words, her standoffishness, her distrust many times, but at some point she’s going to have more character development and will she really exonerate herself and claim she played no part in her own life or the lives of her family members? She hasn’t before. She’s acknowledged that Feyre went out and kept them alive, but to what extent does she feel guilty or regretful or even blameless? Not specifically about that situation, but... the lack of friends, her relationship with her father, her sisters, or any close relationship before and after the trauma, her own wants, wishes, goals, the lack of purpose. In the case of the cabin, and now in the case of her father’s death, she’s really coping the same way. Someone else is supporting her, and she’s really mentally unhealthy and very closed off. You know maybe I’m taking a page out of my own psychotherapy textbook, but I think healing for her would require her to see more options, to be open to more opportunities, and for her to see the world and how she interacts with it a little bit differently where she has accountability for her own wellbeing and happiness, but also accepts the role she played in the past that she could’ve changed.

*But* if she copes that way throughout the series and she doesn’t allow anyone in and she unintentionally hurts someone’s feelings, for lack of a better term, then their feelings are still valid whether we understand them or not. That’s how POV’s work. A change in the narrative. And if in Feyre’s POV Nesta’s done wrong in some way even though some may not agree, even if Feyre herself has done wrong, it doesn’t mean we erase the mistakes as if they didn’t happen. I think to really analyze a character you need to see the whole character and not just the things that make them palatable or the things we’d rather ignore/excuse, even in the pursuit of defending them. As readers, we’re the third party observers, so we can see more things than the characters, but to Feyre for example, Nesta has an odd way of showing her love to the point where we have instances where she questions it throughout the series. It doesn’t mean necessarily that Nesta has to change or that she doesn’t love Feyre, but it also doesn’t make Feyre wrong to feel that way. or Elain or Cassian or Amren whatever happened to them. It also doesn’t make the Inner Circle wrong for not liking her, though the situation is more complicated than that. If Feyre’s hurt that Nesta won’t come to her after all they’ve through, after she’s reached out, and tried to help in the way that she knew how, then she is allowed to be hurt. And if Nesta’s perspective says that Feyre wronged her after what happens in ACOSF, even if Feyre had good intentions and explains her intentions, Nesta has been wronged. I think there’s a certain level of validity that we need to keep when discussing their interaction or any interaction, otherwise we start playing a blame game, when no one is at fault. It’s too complex to be simply one person’s fault and we know practically nothing of Nesta’s POV. It’s not Feyre or the Inner Circle’s fault that Nesta is in a bad way. But it’s not Nesta’s fault that Feyre sometimes feels hurt or betrayed or unloved. Which unfortunately makes the situation very complicated and quite oxymoronic.

Also I think that sometimes people feel (which people have also said to me) that discussing Nesta’s flaws is a direct attack on her character, because other character’s flaws are not as highlighted in the fandom nor Feyre’s POV. But I think that in itself is a whole other post. Because Feyre has grown up with Nesta, and she has seen her in so many lights, and she’s really only beginning to know how the Inner Circle are truly when the wars are over and the dust has settled. You know, they took her in when she was really low and in an emotionally abusive relationship and having had a traumatic experience with the Amarantha situation, and they supported her and her decisions. So, I find that it would be hard to really expect that from Feyre where we ended in ACOSAF. But this of course doesn’t mean that we can’t dislike a character or question why they do things. It just means that we can dislike a character for a lot less than having to make one character seem inherently greater than another and making people feel bad about it. They all offer value to the series that we all are so obsessed about. But also we as posters can’t reasonably post essays. Like I can’t post something discussing Nesta’s flaws and a specific circumstance and then equally talk about several other character’s flaws in the same post to make everyone feel better and sure that I’m not taking a side.

Which is what I try to get at sometimes when people comment and they seem a little bit too aggressive. Which is why I really don’t like the whole anti/pro debacle, even though I understand the practicality of being able to filter certain posts you see on tumblr because of those hashtags. Thankfully there hasn’t many people who are uber aggressive and honestly I block a lot of people who continually post things in which they don’t allow their opinion to be challenged in any way. Because at the end of the day, none of us are wrong, but... some I’d say are more right than others--simply because they have and use textual evidence to back up their claims or they make reasonable connections that don’t stomp on anyone’s opinions and open up a discussion in which everyone exchanges their ideas. There are so many posts I absolutely adore in either direction, because of how well-rounded they approach the topic.

That being said, quite honestly that post that thankfully you appreciate, absolutely drives me insane. Every time someone likes it or comments I get so afraid that it’s going to be someone telling me off. But I’m a very anxious person so that’s probably why, but also I’ve seen many people being told off lol. I really was hoping it wasn’t too bad or being too biased. I absolutely hate that. And I certainly don’t want to be just agreed with, I love active discussions and will have them with many people on here, but I don’t like feeling like at any moment I could be invalidated and my opinion worthless when all I did was post something I felt was accurate to my own analysis. So I’ve almost deleted that post so many times. But thankfully, y’all are not horrible... so far.

Anyways, I for some reason go on tangents that only half make sense. Stream of consciousness and ADHD I guess. But hopefully this reply wasn’t so drastic. I absolutely love that you support the active discussion of flaws and the character’s who have them and you are more than welcome to discuss with me anytime :D As long as your okay with the fact that I write essays as opposed to simple thanks haha!

#nessian #nesta archeron #acosf

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linklethehistorian · 4 years ago

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Randou and the Sins of Season 3's Fifteen Adaption (Part 14/???)

Episode 27 — The God of Fire (2/4)

Contrary to the presentation of the conversation between Dazai and Chuuya following the former’s aforementioned actions in the anime, where it simply ends on the suicidal boy’s several agreements that shooting a dead body is probably excessive and unnecessary and that his partner is right to claim such, that is not really the way it truly unfolded within its source material; no, instead, when Chuuya asks him to show respect for the dead by not continuing to shoot the man’s lifeless form, Dazai only acknowledges his statement once — his superficially familiar “Yeah. You’re right.” taking on an entirely different tone and context in the novel — before adding that that is ordinarily what people would think and pausing a moment, laughing dryly at his own statement soon after as he walks away towards the mansion.

Of course, I suppose that you may be wondering why something as seemingly small as removing his laughter and perhaps swapping a few choice words out for others is such a big deal to me — or to anyone else, for that matter — when it ultimately all sounds much the same, and I suppose I can’t really blame you for that, either, but it’s necessary for you to understand that in this case, the key to the scene’s proper nuance really does lie in these very things that were taken away from us. As I said above, the words, “Yeah. You’re right” are used by Dazai in an entirely different light between the two versions; while in the animation, it was clearly used as an agreement with the redhead’s sentiment, in the novel, it functioned more as a show of attentiveness towards the person presenting their views to him, as well as an acknowledgement that this was something he’d heard many times before from other “normal” people and thus was not the least bit surprised to be told again — especially when Chuuya was, from his then-current perspective, not any different from the rest of the masses in his thought processes.

On the question of whether or not this is a compliment or an insult, I think that it is worth acquiescing that it may genuinely be a bit of both, for although I personally lean more towards the latter and have my own reasoning for believing it was meant as such, I do think that Lea also has some rather interesting insight into and ideas on the matter, herself, and I absolutely don’t want to just ignore her point of view on it, when I do feel that it too at least bears a decent amount of consideration; therefore, I will do my best to give a bit of elaboration on both angles, along with asking that if I fail to explain her thoughts well to you, you might feel free to check out the post in which she originally goes over it.

From Lea’s personal standpoint, it is her belief that the bandaged teen’s laughter at his assertion that Chuuya’s thoughts were ordinary compared to his was not meant as a mockery towards Chuuya or so-called “ordinary” people, but rather was aimed at himself; according to her explanation, this is because Dazai is well aware of how strange his mind is and, as such, how he himself can never qualify as or belong to the notion of anything ‘ordinary’, thus causing him to hold some bitterness towards himself for how out of place he is in the world and how little he believes he can ever fit in. As before, whilst I may hold a different opinion on the situation overall, I don’t actually think this interpretation is precisely wrong, nor do I think it should be completely overlooked, as I absolutely don’t doubt that Dazai does, to some extent, feel a deep dissatisfaction in himself because of how ‘different’ and, in a sense, removed from everyone else, he is, and how that has led to him experiencing this great emptiness inside and struggling to want to continue living; I don’t doubt for even a moment that there are and have often been times in the past when Dazai may have been, on some level, jealous of those around him and perhaps even had a part of him wish that he could be like everyone else, because I’m almost sure that all of this has been true — at least, at one point or another.

That being said, though, that also does not erase the fact that regardless of any envy he may feel for the general population, it is absolutely not because he in any way believes them or their ways of thinking to be genuinely superior; in fact, based on all that has already been established about Dazai — both in this particular entry and all of those in the past as well — I think it is very fair and safe of me to make the assessment that, if anything, it is exactly the opposite that is true. Dazai envies others and their thought processes not for some alleged superiority, but rather, for their supposed inferiority, which his emotionally and empathetically narrow mind perceives them to have; to the young so-called genius, his occasional desire to be like the ‘ordinary’ people around him is little more than a wish that he could sometimes turn his ‘logic’ off — to become simple and ‘naive’ enough to be unaware of what he thinks are the true ways of the world, or at least just be ‘foolish’ enough to see it and still be able to ‘delude’ himself into denying it anyway.

Assuredly, I can grant that the suicidal teen may dislike or even resent his own nature, but once more, it is not because he believes there is something wrong with him mentally, half so much as that he believes he is much too smart for his own good; thus, I hardly think it appropriate to say that his laughter is in intentional mockery of that or of himself, when I find it far more easy to believe that he is amused by and making mockery of the “lower intelligence” of others and their compassionate, ‘uninformed’, emotionally-driven outlooks.

Of course, if this conclusion of mine is indeed right, then we would naturally have a much better explanation for why this moment was omitted in the anime. I know that some people might think that it is very logical to presume that they simply cut whatever they could for time, and that this part was just one of those things that could be easily and fairly harmlessly expended, rather than to take the less charitable stance in saying that this was a calculated move of some kind; however, when you truly give any degree of genuine thought to it, you must admit that it is a little absurd to suggest the studio decided that these few potential seconds of additional dialogue were “taking up too much time”, especially when you consider that they were just fine with wasting much, much longer on credit sequences and extended events that did not even happen as presented in the original story on other occasions.

Furthermore, while no one is denying that the moments leading up to this removed final exchange aren’t exactly the best at providing pleasant representation for Dazai, there is still no ignoring the fact that without this last piece being kept in, it is nonetheless infinitely better for a more SKK compliant, ‘kinder Dazai’ narrative than it would be with it still maintained, as it not only makes Dazai look slightly nicer, but especially lends much more of a sense that Chuuya’s words had a profound effect on him than they actually did. As for what they gain in pushing this untrue portrayal I continue to allude to so often, and what reason I have to believe they’re actually doing that, well, that’s something I’ll get into much more later, but I imagine it isn’t so hard to at least partially figure out on your own anyway, in the meantime — even if you don’t truly know the full extent of the butchery they’ve committed to achieve it.

Temporarily setting aside this treachery and mutilation, though, even if this one choice hadn’t been a part of some much bigger picture, I would still be just as disappointed in their decision, as I feel it heavily tones down the full extent of the scene’s eeriness and loses the true sense of the two teens’ personalities, thoughts, and relationship with each other.

It is, true, too, I have no doubt, that the earlier addition of Dazai’s “what you say is probably correct” to the conversation, after twice confirming that Chuuya was right with his assessment, was included in order to mirror a certain scene in DEAD APPLE, but I don’t really have much to give of my own, commentary-wise, on it, since unlike the other alteration, its existence does not change all that much, and as a result, I neither hate nor adore it; it simply exists, and that is fine.

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izukukuzi · 4 years ago

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(1/?) I'm back with a rant..... I am definitely with that fellow anon about their dislike for bkg. Like I didn't like him for the fact that what he did just was shoved to the side and never talked about to begin with. Then I came into the fandom and I was like "!!??!!??" like people are not only doing what canon has done and forgotten what he did, but now they are literally shipping them together? And thinking he's "soft boi" and he has drastically changed and made up for what he did? Like where

(2/?) Because while yes in some aspects he has changed. He no longer physically attacks Izuku outside of training (besides bk v dk #2 and finals), but that doesn't mean that he's learned right from wrong. He just realizes in bk v dk #1 that Izuku won't put up with his violent outbursts anymore and also sees that he is not the only one to have a powerful quirk in 1-A. Izuku also changes by being able to gain actual friends and not the toxic and abusive one he had with bkg so he breaks away from

(3/?) Bkg and thus Bakugou realizes he can't control Izuku anymore and he also would have back up and seeing as most of the class wanted to be his friend at the beginning he knew if he pulled that shit no more UA whether the class rats him out or Aizawa won't put up with his shit. But Jesus the stans..... like they don't listen to canon because they have their own views on what Bakugou is like. I have written an analysis on him in volume one and got a "cold take" response.... like I put

(4/?) actual quotes and scenes from it and somehow that's a cold take even though it literally happened??? Also I'm fine with ships like that's you not me, but I don't understand where people can ship BKDK because before they date they "talk"? Like yes they need to talk about the shit that happened in middle school, but talking doesn't erase what Bakugou did. Like at all. It would still be a pretty toxic ship because it's obvious Bakugou scarred Izuku with the use of his quirk like those don't

(5/?) Just up and leave because they talk? And basically I got a response that "no no no you don't understand they have chemistry because they are linked and they have most scenes together" like do the shippers know that like 90% of those scenes Bakugou is either beating Izuku up or yelling insults at him? Like how could any abuser/victim relationship be healthy. Then there are the stans that also blame Izuku for overexaggerating because he's the main narrator. Like ah yes because we don't have

(6/?) Scenes from Best Jeanist, Aizawa, All Might, other pro heroes, and other UA students that express their worries over Bakugou's behavior. Then there's the stans that think antis don't want to see him grow, overexaggerate him, or think we hate him because of his past actions, instead of thinking on why would someone hate this character who 1. Never faced any consequences and learned that what he did was wrong. 2. Has yet to apologize to Izuku for all the shit he did to him. 3. Everytime he

(7/?) He grows he then goes back to his old ways and sometimes contradicts what he just did. 4. Some people have been abused and so he reminds them of what their own bully/abuser did and so they cannot like a character like that. Like I have yet to meet an anti who just up and says "I hate Bakugou for no reason" and also antis get yelled at by his stans for "not understanding his character" or are even given death threats and are told that we just spread hate. Sorry for the long rant, I can't

(8/8) I can't stand his stans because they can get quite obnoxious (even putting their love in the anti tag to rile up the antis) and for reasons above and just argh never have stans made me hate a character even more. Because Bakugou isn't like Karma from Ass Class no matter how hard hori tries or how much his stans depict him that way. Because I'm pretty sure if Karma was in MHA Bakugou would have been put in his place the instant Bakugou realized he could harm Izuku and get away with it. 🎤🎤

I definitely think this can all be indications of how important it is to consider the humanity of those you interact with, and how that takes priority over the... dignity??? the perception (I dunno what I’m trying to say) of a fictional character. more often than not, I think bakugou is a shitty person; I think it’s shitty to ship him with his abuse victim (of ten-ish years); I don’t really understand where most people are coming from with their Very Positive feelings towards bakugou, and I will rant and rave about that on my blog for as long as it bother me because that’s my space to do that.

HOWEVER, what’s more important to me than my dislike of bakugou, is the well-being of the people I interact with while talking about his character. I would never send bakustans hate, regardless of how much we disagree with each other; I may get sassy with rude anons, but I never aim to harm anyone because... like, it’s bakugou lmao. he’s not real. so, in that same sense, I wish people were a bit kinder on the other side of things too. you can like bakugou/bakudeku if that’s really what you’re into, but there’s no real reason to be hateful or send death threats to someone just because they disagree with you over a ship/anime character. those things aren’t that important and, like you brought up, plenty of people see the characteristics of those who have hurt them in real life in bakugou, so it’s not always a matter of just fighting over (dis)liking a character for the fuck of it (and I understand that the same can be said for those who do like him. there are understandable qualities that people may identify with, but I think that’s all the more reason to approach and treat those who disagree with you how you want to be treated).

but anyways, ignore my rambling. thank you for sharing your thoughts!

#anti bakugou #anti bakudeku #classicaltrashical #rambling and shit #long post

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shirophantomvox · 4 years ago

Note

How do you feel about the ambiguity in fandom where people try to theorize and explain away Lotor’s connection to the quintessence harvesting of Alteans?

Personally, while Keith and Krolia can corroborate Romelle about the harvesting, the fact that we did not get to see anything concrete and irrefutable on screen to directly link him to it, makes me suspicious and more curious about it. It feels like weak writing to brush over a major plot point and present it through the words of a witness. More flashbacks to the most damning scenes as Romelle recounted her story would have been cool and super helpful to destroy any ambiguity.

That said, I really dislike how a big part of fandom seems convinced that he is innocent and make elaborate headcanons that they treat as canon to absolve him of blame. I love a good head canon, fix it fics are my bread and butter, and Lotor deserved better, but people essentially erasing and rewriting the history of how this plot point was presented in canon to redeem their fave does not sit well with me.

But what are your thoughts?

When I found out about the colony, I immediately though : “What the heck?” All of the remaining Altean were so happy to go to this new colony because they were excited for the new opportunities that awaited them. They’d do anything if it meant to stay away from Zarkon. Initially, when I found out that Lotor was harvesting quintessence, I wasn’t surprised at all. For some reason I knew he was a “traitor” and “just like Zarkon.” I mean Zarkon is his dad and believe it or not he did pick up some behaviors/actions from him. When I see people defending Lotor and his actions it doesn’t make me...feel good. What I mean is, sometimes I wonder do the people who stick up for Lotor and his actions; would they make excuses for people in real life that harm others? I know that sounds extreme but that is something I’ve always wondered after I saw this episode and how the some people in the fandom reacted anytime you said you didn’t like Lotor’s character.

You are right. We did not see Lotor actively harvesting the quintessence, but he made a simple comment that lead me to believe he had something to do with it. Romelle’s brother said that the colony was all a lie. After Romelle saw her brother dying and hid behind a tree, Lotor said to clean up the wreckage and make sure no one knows what happened here. I get what you mean; yes I’d like to see/hear more about this colony and who was actually responsible. Then again, if Lotor himself was “tampering with evidence”, that led me to believe he is one or ONE OF the people responsible for it. If he wasn’t responsible, he wouldn’t have tampered with the evidence.

I agree with you, anon. In the past, I have seen how people have explained why they dislike Lotor and give reasons why and the fandom would lash out against them, send them threatening messages, etc. For what? A) Lotor is fictional and B) don’t you have something else to be doing that to be acting like a immature brat on Tumblr? It’s scary how people have forgotten that this is all animation. Some of the people in this fandom need to grow up, seriously. I don’t mean to sound rude or insensitive, but over the last 3 years, these people have ruined the fandom and this is probably why people do not like talking about Voltron this time around.

As mention in my other Lotor post, I have a “love-hate” feeling for Lotor. I see that he could have had the potential of being a great Emperor to the Galra, but his methods weren’t working so he turned to the dark side. Moral of the story, no matter how bad things get, turning to the dark side will only make things worse as we have seen here. I will say , them leaving him in the quintessence field was very immoral. Although anon, here’s something to think about: If the team pulled him out of the rift, what would they do when Lotor turned into a monster like Zarkon? There is no changing his mind. The last thing he remembered is him fighting them.

Not only did he harvest quintessence but he lied to his “girlfriend” and lied to her team. Could you imagine if Lotor did something crazy to them because they let their guard down and trusted him?

I feel bad for Lotor and his upbringing but that doesn’t mean/isn’t right to harvest quintessence from deceased people, lie about it, and then ty to excuse your horrific behavior.

Anyway, sorry about the long post. I hope I answered your question and I’m not trying to make anyone mad but I had to say this. Feel free to ask me anything else!

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galaxy-creationz · 4 years ago

Text

A long and controversial fandom analysis:

I have *~thoughts~* about Stargirl and shipping and stuff but it’s gonna look like I’m trying to start beef with a certain 1 or 2 people here (one of which I follow oof) so if you’re reading this (you know who you are), I just want to say that I’m not. Though it’d be best if you didn’t read this because my opinion is very different from yours. I’m sorry, block me if you want, it’s nothing personal, I won’t be offended, but I just wanted to post this.

Okay, if you aren’t one of the people I implied, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is my personal opinion and I am not attacking anyone. And please read the tags.

I am open to (respectful!) debating, so here we go. Here’s the hot takes that could possibly start a ship war, though I pray that we are all mature enough to prevent it:

My opinions on who I ship and also Courtney’s orientation, the short answer:

I ship her with both Yolanda and Cameron. Sorta. And my personal headcanon is that she’s attracted to both boys and girls (idk about specific labels tho) but she doesn’t know this until later.

And here’s the long answer:

I know that Camney will be canon at some point (sorry that’s just the truth), though a cast member that I can’t recall exactly who but I know is a cast member, said that their relationship will be “complicated”. Now, I have no idea how to interpret this, as said cast member was pretty vague about it.

I know that Cameron finding out about his father’s death and (possibly?) turning evil will most likely be the reason, but I feel like there’s more.

Now, after some digging, I found out about his character in the comics. (Comic fans will probably know where this is going.) If they do bring this in, this gives another layer to the complicated-ness that the ship will be in season 2.

In my ideal season 2, he and Courtney will date for a few episodes, then he’ll realize that he isn’t attracted to her (or not, according to what the writers decide to do with him) and break up. After this, Courtney will go to Yolanda for comfort which leads to them catching feelings for each other and then they date and Wildstar will be endgame. The end. If it doesn’t then I’m also chill with that but that’s just my favorite speculation.

Of course, this isn’t likely (but then again, I’m sure the writers won’t erase his identity for fear of backlash). Here are several other scenarios, which I’m also chill with:

1. He still turns evil but Courtney doesn’t know this until later. When she finds out, there is angst and a breakup, which either leads to them getting back together by the end of the season or Courtney ending up with someone else, whether it’s a new character or an existing one.

2. If they don’t get back together, Courtney can still end up getting with Yolanda like in my ideal scenario. The same thing happens.

3. Or Cameron doesn’t turn evil and the complicated-ness is all from finding out who his dad is (was) and there is less angst but he and Courtney stay together.

Now, I might be saying this because I just dislike Camney a lot less than everyone else here, or I genuinely ship it, which brings me to my next point:

I don’t know how I feel about the ship, or the other one. Like, at all.

Am I just shipping it because it’s gonna be canon at some point?

Do I actually like Camney more than Wildstar but I’m repressing that part of me for fear of being an outcast in the Tumblr fandom?

Do I not even like Wildstar and only ship them (and write a fic about them) because everyone practically peer pressured me into it?

Do I secretly only ship Wildstar, and is my brain just tricking me into thinking I ship Camney because I ship the canon ships in other fandoms and is preparing me for when they become canon?

This gets even crazier when I factor in another one of Courtney’s potential (or just popular?) love interests, Cindy.

Unlike most people in the fandom, I’m not a huge fan of her, especially because of what she did to Yolanda. It seems like everyone put the blame on Henry for that. Yes, he did have a part in it, but let’s not forget that it was 90% Cindy.

I’ve seen claims that she’s coded to have feelings for Courtney, especially because of the tension (?) in their fight scenes. It was also confirmed by a cast member. People are also saying that the writers are trying to send the message that “straight good everything else bad”, but to be honest, I don’t see it.

There are straight villains. (assuming that all those ISA pairings floating around are just crackships)

Also, Wildstar still has a chance of happening.

Maybe I don’t like Starshiv as much as other people do because it reminds me of another ship. (Supergirl fans who follow me will know) Or maybe because I think Cindy is perfect as a villain and the only way the ship would work is if she had a redemption arc? Or because of the above reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s a good character, but just not a good person.

I feel like in another world, if that Supergirl ship that it reminds me of didn’t exist, maybe I might’ve ended up a Starshiv shipper. But that’s not the world we live in.

There are claims that the writers (one in particular) are homophobic. I don’t know enough about that one writer to say anything, but given that he’s an older straight man and Tumblr hates him, he probably is. But let’s not drop the H-word on everyone else.

Which brings me to how disturbingly familiar this situation is to me. For those of you who aren’t in the Supergirl fandom, let me explain.

Kara is the main character. (Parallel to Courtney)

Lena (wow I didn’t censor her name for once) is a villain who is popularly shipped with her. (Parallel to Cindy but I genuinely hate Lena, and there is no confirmation that Lena is coded to have feelings for Kara)

William is supposedly Kara’s love interest. He has asked her out only once. (Parallel to Cameron but he’s 100% straight)

(I can’t find a character that’s the equivalent of Yolanda, so let’s just ignore her for this part.)

The resemblance is that I dislike Kara and Lena as a couple, but am partial to Kara and William, despite them not being my first choice as a ship. And the people who ship Kara with Lena tend to dislike William very, very much, claiming that he’s too boring.

Of course, with Supergirl being a much older show than Stargirl, this problem is 23894793847 times worse. We have people harassing the actors and sending them death threats, and real person shipping is big, and they claim William to be abusive.

I’m not saying that Starshiv shippers are as bad as that (obviously) but I’m scared they will be someday. Luckily, Wildstar is still more popular.

Go ahead, hate Cameron if you want. He’s not real, so no feelings will be hurt. I am not implying that you will do this, so don’t take this the wrong way, but remember that his actor is real, has feelings, and is not the same as his character, so keep fiction and reality separate.

And please do the same with the other characters.

Anyways, to end this, let’s go back to where I started.

I feel like too many people think that Courtney can only like one gender. There’s the “fanon says it’s girls and canon says it’s boys” but like I said, she can like both so that’s what I think.

The writers will most likely make her straight, and this is gonna make people really mad at them, causing a backlash that could potentially become like the Supergirl fandom’s. I hope not.

So, that’s my thoughts on Stargirl. Thank you for reading. I am fully prepared for a flood of anon hate coming after me. The second I get a hate ask, I’m closing my ask box for the next few days.

I’m gonna lose friends for this, aren’t I?

#long post #stargirl #this feels like discourse #anti starshiv #shipping #rip to me #fandom analysis #why did i write this #i regret posting already #supergirl #but like only a mention #idk #rant #I feel like I just opened a can of worms

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 4 years ago

Note

Was reading your response to the Okumura Ryuji/Morgana fight, and the way the person worded Ryuji's character made me wanna ask... Do you think a bad fanbase is a fair reason to dislike a character? I've heard people say things like "no look at the character too", but... For example, I'm very neutral on Ryuji. When he's good, hes SO GOOD, EXCELLENT BOY, but Ann is my favorite girl. Guess who he pervs on exclusively and is rude to all the time? I've never seen his fans talk about (1/2 sorry)

His rude behavior, or his pervy tendencies, or his more selfish desires regarding the PT. That's fine!! Not everyone wants to constantly talk about bad things their fave has done!!! But people referring to him as a "woman respecting king" so insistently rubs me the wrong way, since he treats Ann Like That. That, and (more personal) i remember making a post/ask thing once about my grievances with Ryuji, esp his perv stuff, and the fans that interacted very aggressively denied his behavior (2/3)

And it even turned into a big discourse on the blog I submitted it to (it was that one confession blog). All the people that responded and just tried moving the arguments to "well Yusuke did this-" or even tried to push blame on Ann "she was asking for it" just kinda cemented my already growing dislike for Ryuji. Super sorry this is so long!!! Final question: is a bad fanbase a fair reason for disliking a character? (3/3)

Don’t say sorry about multiple sent asks, I don’t mind kfdsjla;fja As for the answer, I want to say yes and no, but really it’s just “yes with a side note attached.” Yeah, it’s ok to not like a char because of their fans, but I think it’s as long as you know why you dislike the char beyond the fans (well tbh, imo it’s usually the crazy fans so I think stans is a better word, but even then there’s diff stans). And tbh, I....can’t....think of a character I don’t like that the fandom/fanbase does....but I know nothing about the char all the while (closest and most recent example this....is....I know people dislike that grey haired moe blob on twitter even tho I don’t think they watched the show, and while I’m not a fan of the moeblobness I don’t know anything about the char so I’m personally not upset). I can only name chars I don’t like because of what happens in the text, fandom be damned (but sometimes they don’t help). Which is why it’s a yes with a side note. If you don’t like the char despite not knowing them.....probably get to know the char first even if your impression is clouded by the fandom....at least you gave the char a chance.

Under cut cause length (first few sentences in the first paragraph under the cut/tldr at the end gives you the answer a bit more in depth, the rest is rants related to that and why I get frustrated in a similar sense too, but yeah sorry if I repeat myself, I kinda jumped all over + my tendency to try to nail a point home I feel like might’ve had me repeat a bit more than usual akslfjdakfjaf):

I say this because.....it’s hard....it’s hard to keep them separated, unless you completely isolate yourself from the fandom (which is basically impossible if you wanna keep up with news, even the comment section is part of the fandom tbh...and you might be looking down their for diff reasons). And then.....well...the big reason....sometimes seeing the fans really highlights the reasons you dislike the char. That’s what happened to me and Makoto, specifically cause of....a certain fan (and buddy if you happen to see this, nothing against you, no bad blood, def won’t mention your name I respect you and the debates we had)....AND TO THE TUMBLR READERS WHO GET NERVOUS: It wasn’t on this website in case anyone is freaking out so if you’re thinking “Oh god it’s me” it is most likely not you (tho I think we do know each other on here cause of usernames/saw each other in passing but we def aren’t mutuals last time I checked), and while I do respect that person.......my god did they highlight the reasons I had issues with P5 and Makoto. Ironically in trying to defend her and show off her good sides, I realized the writing issues more and more and her bad sides became more glaring. It turned my frustrating dislike and attempt to try to work out my issues with her and P5 (ironically “working out” in hindsight would’ve been me....denying and refusing to look at P5′s flaws) into....well......the salt factory you know today. (same thing happens with like......Yukari and Junpei fans too tbh...that’s more recent tho, it feels like they are just downplaying their negatives constantly and I’m not about that). Basically, you probably have issues already, they are just more pronounced now.

As for “look at the character”....you kinda already are doing that, and that’s probably where your existing issues originated from (tho if someone wants a more in depth reason as to why, while you DON’T OWE them an explanation, it is also hard for someone to understand your feelings and reasons if you don’t try to explain).

As for Ryu, yea, I getcha, I like the guy, I’m neutral positive on him....was my best bro but he’s 2nd best thanks to post-Kamo writing. I like him because of his positives, but I always keep his negs in mind because. Cause like while I agree with the fans IT MAKES NO SENSE! P5′S WRITING IS BAD! it happened, same as I agree that Anne kicking Ryu’s ass, along with the other girls, is shitty. Hate the scene, and I accept that it happen (low key gonna start some kinda 2nd wave war with this bs cause the fandom be like that, but I’m really surprised no one took Anne smacking Ryu behind the neck cause he was being too loud as super offensive and abuse.......it’s def something a friend might do, not like belting him just a tap, and it’s framed as chill and also as warning him to reign in the volume control, but high key surprised no one has tried to cancel her cause of that). BUT that DOESN’T mean it erases all the creepy stuff he’s done. Is he the goodest boi when he’s being good? The best. Is he always a good boi? No, he def is not. And hearing that he is can be frustrating to people that do see his flaws (cause they are there). And like....you are 100% able to like a character despite and because of their flaws, while also accepting they have those flaws. I do it with Yosuke, Ryuji (for the most part), Teddie, Shinji, Ken, Kanji (when he’s not around Naoto, then he’s in a trash can for me), P1/2 casts, Aigis, Mitsuru, as long as the flaws are within reason and are treated pretty well....then I’m ok with it. (again, Kanji/Ryu have moments when I’m like....NOPE! but when they aren’t doing the bad thing I’m cool with them). As long as the flaws are withing reason (aka they aren’t making a jerk person out to be the person in the right, or the writing is trying to sweep what they did under the rug, or trying to force us into empathizing with them despite what they did while also trying ot sacrifice empathy towards another char.....*cough*Makoto/Yukari/Junpei*cough* if the writing isn’t doing that...... I’m probs neutral to pos on them).

Like I’m fine if they are criticizing the writing and being like “Him doing this makes no sense cause it conflicts with the good boi we’ve already seen!” That’s a-ok! Not only do you recognize your char has flaws, you also are able to identify issues with the writing. But saying “so I’ll choose to ignore that scene” isn’t....ok. Because sadly it did happen, as contradictory it did happen. AU it all you want, but you have to accept it happened outside of that AU. Like, I don’t like the Mika conflict in Anne’s CoOp, by which I don’t like how it went down (100% fine with Mika, and there being conflict with her). How it the whole thing started doesn’t make sense if you put MainStory!Anne in her CoOp. MS!Anne can read the room and other people’s emotions (only other person capable of that is Haru, or at least with Mona), hell she was so good at it she noticed something was up with Shiho without Shiho telling her about it! The issue was the fact Anne’s not a mind reader and could only assume the issue Shiho was going through that Anne was aware of (and that was her spot on the team). Now MS!Anne is not like Yosuke, she doesn’t put her foot in her mouth. She’s not like Naoto who can’t read the room. She’s not super eloquent, but can empathize and when she can interact with people she can do it pretty well. So why the hell does she basically not think before talking and insult Mika? Sure Anne’s not GREAT at school, but she’s not a moron, she can talk to people. But her CoOp makes her a moron all around, 100% airhead, and that’s how her issues with Mika start, by not thinking before talking and accidentally insulting her via blatantly “not caring” about the job to a full time person......it’s stupid, it makes no sense, I hate it. But it’s there, the flaw might not be present in the main story, but for the all around character (cause CoOps are included) it is now and I just have to deal with it. We can bitch about it all day (and trust me I will) but it happened. Basically never frame it as “it didn’t happen,” but instead “It SHOULDN’T HAVE happened.” One is denial, the other is critiquing the text.

Anyway my rant aside, yeah I hate it when...well Ren/Ryu/Yusuke (no one’s said Mona yet, cause....well yeah...which is good they haven’t labeled him as it yet tho), are labeled as “drinking respect women juice” and I’m like “I have one to a few women who would disagree.” I know some people will argue Goro is drinking it, and imo he’s not....he’s just eating the “I don’t discriminate sandwich” which is different. And yeah the “But Yusuke-” yeah yeah we’ll get to him, but right now we’re talking about RYUJI. I’m not a fan of derailing a topic *war flashbacks* *shivers* anyway. But yeah I remember that debate, I was probably one who was like “We’ll get to Yusuke but right now we’re talking about Ryuji” and pushing the blame onto Anne is disgusting and Kamo Arc!Ryuji would be very upset. >:( (btw high key I think I was the first one who started the first anti-makoto war wave with me saying “yeah Anne shouldn’t have apologized Makoto started it and blah blah she was an ass” not the exact words but basically just calling her out on her shitty behavior cause the game certainly didn’t......tho as Miley Cyrus would say.....”I didn’t mean to start a waaaaaar~!” I actually wrote my first Persona Problems on that topic.......but it got lost in the drafts....my photo examples kept getting messed up which is bad considering the whole post really relied on them....I should try to dig it up tbh....)

Tldr/short answer: Yeah, you probably already have issues with the char to begin with tbh, and the fanbase can highlight those issues more. It’s also hard to escape the fanbase (I see stuff I don’t wanna see despite trying my hardest to avoid certain circles, it just happens).

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writtenbyrosey · 5 years ago

Text

Why I Think Steven Is Making Himself Into A Monster While Blaming It On His Gem

I’m going to start by talking a lot about Pink Diamond.

Yes, yes. We all know that-

...Right. That she’s gone.

But.. with everything that’s been happening during Steven Universe FEAR, I can’t help but think back to 3 Gems and a Baby, Change Your Mind, and the movie.

Here’s what I think’s goin on...

In Three Gems and a Baby, Garnet Amythest and Pearl each had different theories in regards to who or what Steven was.

Amythest thought Pink was simply shapeshifting into Steven, Steven merely being a disguise and Pink pretending to be Steven. Garnet thought Steven was a fusion between Greg and Pink, also assuming that Pink was aware and that she was only remaining fused as Steven as to not be rude to Greg.

But Pearl’s theory is what’s been bothering me lately...

We know that in a way, all three of them are correct.

That in order to even carry a fetus, Pink must have shape-shifted a womb inside her body so that she could properly incubate a child with Greg’s DNA. In order to mimic DNA that could ‘fuse’ with Greg’s, I speculate that she became one with the fetus upon his birth somehow. I’m guessing that once Steven no longer resided in her shapeshifted womb, where a child’s normal umbilical cord would be, that was also a shapeshifted part of herself. She used that cord to connect Steven to her gem, not to provide him with food (although she probably HAD to eat organic food so that Steven’s organic body could grow), but to provide his developing anatomy with her own ‘data’ so that the child would absorb aspects of herself.

Once Steven was born, the shapeshifted illusion of what allowed Pink to be an individual while he grew would no longer be enough to keep him alive. This explains why she had to give up her physical form. This is where Pearl’s theory takes effect. During his birth, she had to poof so that her gem would always be able to provide Steven with half of what makes him whole. I couldn’t really see properly in ‘Growing Pains’, but I don't think Steven had a heartbeat at all! That would make sense because, without Pink’s gem, he wouldn’t be able to exist in the first place.

So all that being said, I believe Pink’s gem DID hold her consciousness while Steven developed his own. Remember what Pink said in her video to Steven.

“Steven, we can’t both exist. I’m going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary. You’re going to be a human being. Take care of them, Steven.”

(This sentence is important and I'm going to mention it for another point later on: And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”)

If gems are computers, their ‘soul’ would be equivalent to a user’s files where their data would be stored, and the FOLDER that data is stored on would be the physical GEM. When Pink became Rose, nothing was changed in terms of her soul or her files, so it would be the equivalent of just renaming that folder something else. That is what pure shapeshifting would be in this case.

When Steven was conceived, Pink preparedly provided a shapeshifted female human reproductive system, which like the rest of her abilities, was powered by her Gem. When uh.. ermm... pink diamond’s file was edited with a sort of... ‘unrecognized genetic coding’ (I didn’t want to straight-up say Greg’s jizz lol) those files would begin to dramatically alter as Steven developed his own consciousness. So once Steven was born and began to experience life (ie: develop his first memories, learn skills like talking, develop likes and dislikes) every new development in Steven’s brain, every ORGANIC development from his human side began to OVERWRITE Pink diamonds files. It’s like when your computer begins to run out of file space, out of memory, what does it do to make space?

It deletes old files.

Going off of this logic, by the time Change Your Mind aired, Pink, or to make this simpler we’ll just say Pink’s gem, had existed as half of Steven for 14+ years. I think it would be the equivalent of two users sharing a computer. Whenever Steven was running low on memory, Pink very willingly began to purposely and consciously delete parts of what made her well... her. So that Steven could be anyone he wanted to be.

Her words in that video: “-Every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary. You’re going to be a human being.”

Now I’m gonna be real with ya’ll. I believe that Pink AT THE BEGINNING wanted Steven for a selfish reason. Put down your pitch forks okay?? I said at the beginning! Originally, YEAH. She DID want an escape. She DID want to avoid taking responsibility for all her mistakes! I believe from when Steven was a newborn until he was like 7 or 8 probably, Pink was FULLY aware, she was FULLY herself and COMPLETELY feeling/seeing everything Steven could. She was literally an AUDIENCE member in Steven’s mind, watching and experiencing THROUGH him what it was like to BE him. Like a demon possessing a person, but not trying to control them in any way. Just.. squatting. Chilling in there and sharing in everything Steven felt or saw without him even realizing.

ONLY MAYBE did she make her presence known through relevant dreams now and again, when her memories were stirred by what Steven was living.

ANYWAY like I said, I think it started this way. But I believe just like Steven has done for every other damn character in this fantastic show, Pink changed because of her experience being him. And let me ask all of you this.

Would the OLD SELFISH SPINEL ABANDONING BISMUTH BUBBLING PEARL DUMPING GREG ABANDONING FALSE PROMISE INSTILLING CONDESCENDING PINK WE KNOW, WILLINGLY allow herself to slowly and completely fade away from existence, just to give this weird human gem hybrid experiment she created his own identity?

No.

But the Pink that spent almost a decade in the shoes of (thanks to Greg’s intense empathy soaked parenting) the most selfless, kind and innocent child? The Pink that FELT how good Steven felt when he helped others? Would THAT Pink just take away the life she’d given to him, just because if she didn’t she would cease to exist?

Obviously not. I mean..

GUYS. Can you IMAGINE how HORRIBLE it would be to SLOWLY, memory by fucking memory, erase yourself? Like it’d probably be painful, confusing, just day by day slowly forgetting who you are, who you knew, your friends, your memories, your IDENTITY, your CONTROL! OH MY GOD WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO PINK THAN CONTROL?? Nothing! That’s all she wanted! That’s all she was after! Control over her own life! Freedom! Being able to change! To GROW!

And yet.. she gave ALL OF THAT UP so that Steven could be who he is.

And the proof of that is 100% at this moment when White rips Pink’s gem OUT of Steven, and when it forms without him, all that’s left is the SHADOWS, the ECHO of who she used to be once upon a time. Because that gem is like 1% Pink, 99% Steven.

Without Steven, her gem is aimless, purposeless, devoid of ANY emotion or personality. It has ONE GOAL. To become Steven. The only part of Pink that may have been aware from within Pink Steven, that teeny tiny sliver of her data that might have remained. All it wanted was to be Steven.

THAT would have been an amazing place for the series to end, at least for the sake of Steven’s identity crisis. When he saw his gem half, he was so relieved to not see his mother. Because his whole life he was struggling with NOT BEING HIS MOTHER. He FINALLY FIGURED OUT that HE IS HIS OWWWWNNNNN PERSON!

YAY!

...

And then THIS shit happened.

UGH. That rejuvenation... It RUINED EVERYTHING for him.

We know from the movie that it set back all of the gems to factory settings. To their default. It completely wiped their memories!

The movie insinuated that it set Steven back to when he was a kid, and that he regained his abilities when he regained his sense of how he grew and changed from that helpless kid with no powers..

But is that all there is to it? A lot of people bring up the possibility that Pink Diamond was reset from within Steven, that she’s trying to get out from the inside of him, hence everything going on with his body in SUF. The enlarging of his body makes some people think that Pink diamond doesn’t recognize Steven, is somehow completely aware that she is trapped within him, and that she is fighting for freedom etc.

I don't think that’s it at all.

I think the rejuvenator did more than what the movie concluded, but I don’t agree with the pink diamond is corrupting steven from the inside out theories. Not at all.

If Pink Diamond and Steven were still sharing his gem, just like I had speculated before, in his early development, if they were struck with the rejuvenator THEN? Yeah. Then I’d think there was some merit to the “Pink is trying to escape Steven’s fleshy prison” theories. But what happened during Change Your Mind, that completely convinced me that if not 100%, then at least 98-99% of Pink’s data has been overwritten with Steven’s data. Resetting a computer would NOT restore data that has been overwritten.

Therefore, I think Pink Diamond has absolutely NOTHING to do with Steven’s corruption. He is 100% corrupting because of his own mentality, because of his gem reacting to puberty charged testosterone mixing with the cortisol surging through him due to his untreated PTSD.

Think about it.

What happens when you take a hormonal teenager and cross it with a shell-shocked war veteran who’s been having an identity crisis since he was ten?

Well. You get Steven.

I think the rejuvenator erased everything he was able to realize at the end of Change Your Mind. It took away his sense of self. At the end of that episode, after he fused with his gem half, he said “It’s me. I’ve always been... me.”

I find it very suspicious that each gem struggled with memory loss, not only as Steven acknowledged in the movie, that he forgot ‘how much he’d changed’ and that he ‘was capable’. He also forgot AND HAS YET TO REMEMBER that he is himself. He may have inherited his gem from his mother, and with that comes her IMMENSE powers and abilities. But that’s all. Maybe that, and a tiny teeny ghost of a sliver of how much she loves him.

BUT REMEMBER THAT LINE I SAID I’D BRING BACK FROM HER TAPE??

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

Hey, guys? Does Steven still love being himself?

Or did he forget the very reason why he once did?

That’s why he’s physically beginning to look like his mother. Because that is who he is blaming for all of his self-hate. Because he looks at his gem and these stress-related painful changes and BLAMES his mother, as if she is somehow currently punishing him, trying to force him to become her.

But it’s ALL in his head.

He hates himself because, thanks to the rejuvenator, he’s forgotten the reason why he loves himself. He hasn’t remembered because he doesn’t realize that’s what his problem is! He was sent back to thinking he still is his mom.

He gets these flashbacks, these moments where his gem is struggling to remember why he is allowed to love being himself, only remembering the pain of his gem being ripped out and the fear it causes prevents him from remembering anything after that. I’d be shocked if he remembered what his gem turned into once he was separated. It’s not like anyone ever mentioned it again? Or brought it up to him. He hasn't been ASKED.

So because he forgot, he’s just left with this emptiness. With this horrible gaping question of “Who am I?”

And he tried all the unhealthy ways of coping. #relatable

-Controlling others lives so he could feel a sense of control over himself (Little Homeschool/Guidance)

-Replacing the idea of his mother with something new / forcing himself to be okay with the idea of his mother and faking a normal family context around her (Rosebuds)

-Fixing unfixable problems so he could feel like he doesn’t need to be fixed (Volleyball)

-Justifying his own paranoia by projecting it onto other unrelated situations, only to second guess his originally correct intuition about a malicious individual, and then figure out he was right in the first place. Instead of confirming to himself that he has decent intuition, he doubles down on deciding not to trust the advice of others. Also begins focusing on the constant presence of threats, as if he will never be safe.(Bluebird)

-Burns himself out from throwing himself into activities that keep him busy, even though he doesn't really feel passionate about those activities anymore, because instead of doing little homeschool cuz he enjoys it, all he wants is the resulting approval from others. he does. whatever anyone asks him to resulting in exhaustion and feeling like a failure, all in an attempt to feel like he is needed in order to emulate a form of love he cannot give himself. (very special episode/In Dreams)

-Misinterprets the gems concern and nostalgia cravings because of insecurities in which he feels like the others want him to be someone he's not and becomes resentful for not being respected for ‘who he is’, even though he won't admit that he doesn't actually even know who he is (because he doesn't fucking remember!!) (Snow Day)

-Feels like he’s being personally victimized and abandoned when his friends begin to move on without him to pursue their own dreams and ambitions, and allows that resentment to build while lying and saying he doesn’t blame them for leaving him behind. (Little Graduation/Prickly Pair)

-He focuses on what he can’t relate to when it comes to the human side of life that he feels he's been robbed of. Proceeds to try to solve this and everything mentioned before by running away and becoming someone else (Stevonnie) with no regard for how Connie would feel as an individual (Kinda sounds like what his mom and Greg did - the thing he was super pissed at them for. Ahhh projection and lack of self-awareness in teenagers is staggering) (Bismuth casual / together forever / growing pains / Mr. universe)

-Completely gives into his rage as an outlet, but allows it to overtake him. Having immense power + PTSD induced cortisol + Rage + Puberty charged testosterone = a very dead cheeto puff. Steven does something horrible that he himself said was something “a crystal gem would never do” and as far as we know, is something his own supposedly HORRIBLE mother didn’t even do. So he forces himself to believe he's not only done something a diamond would do, but by seeing the diamonds, he realizes that the diamonds are actually bettering themselves and trying to make up for the crimes they committed, while Steven thinks there's no way he could ever make up for what he did, even if he was able to bring Jasper back. Hits rock bottom. (Fragments / Homeworld Bound)

Shattering a gem betrays who Steven is at his core, and even if he remembers who he is and that he IS his own person, now he has no choice but to believe, at least according to his own morals, that he’s an even worse person than every single individual he had been resenting/judging.

This isn’t Human Steven VS Gem Steven.

This isn’t Pink Diamond trying to take back her gem.

This is Steven hating himself and making himself suffer. This is Steven never asking for help out of fear that he might somehow destroy the happy ending that he helped everyone else achieve. This is Steven forgetting who he is and failing to realize that he can’t do everything on his own, that he can’t fix everything, and that he can’t make it through life without letting people help him when he needs it.

This is Steven believing that he doesn’t deserve to be happy.

I anxiously anticipate this Friday, and I hope that all the people who love him can save him before he destroys himself.

This is and will always be one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.

#steven universe future #steven universe future spoilers #spoilers #steven universe #steven universe spoilers #steven universe theory #spinel #pink diamond #steven universe movie #steven universe change your mind #steven universe movie spoilers

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thebastardofgloucester · 5 years ago

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So...The Rise of Skywalker (Spoilers, obviously)

No Star Wars movie is anywhere close to perfect. Frankly, they all have serious flaws of logistics or plot logic or characterisation changes or deus ex machinas or lack of originality (which includes A New Hope when you look at its inspirations). It's pointless and silly to pretend otherwise. At its best, Star Wars overcomes that with captivating characters, glorious spectacle, and John Williams.

I think you'll all be familiar with how much I disliked The Last Jedi (and chafed at being lumped in for disliking the movie in with bigots, unimaginative fanboys, and the like).

I liked The Rise of Skywalker. A lot. It had more than enough to offset its major shortcomings, in my opinion. It was not 'soulless,' it was not a complete recreation of Return of the Jedi anymore than The Last Jedi was a rough retelling of The Empire Strikes Back, and it was not as bad or incoherent as Attack of the Clones, jfc are you high

There are certain areas where I am more sympathetic to that not being the case for some people than others. I don't think it completely junked The Last Jedi, but it did demonstrate a huge gap in creative visions, preferred plot structures, and other priorities. Blame for that should not lie with JJ Abrams (or Chris Terrio) or Rian Johnson, who did what they thought was best, and what they were hired to do, and what they thought audiences would enjoy. It should lie with the Lucasfilm story group and Kathleen Kennedy, who had every opportunity to make a trilogy with a united vision and simply declined to do so. (There are a set of different issues with Disney that I'll get to)

Anyway, here's my take on individual components.

Rey ‘Palpatine’

We might as well start with the single most contentious part of the film, and where it is perceived (wrongly, in my opinion) to clash the most with The Last Jedi: Rey being of the Palpatine bloodline.

Rey's arc was about pushing past her own past traumas and doubts and the repeated attempts of other people to define who she was to make her own identity. It is about the refutation of destiny, of genetic determinism. I'm not really sure how anyone really came away with a different impression. I understand being annoyed that Rey couldn't just come from nothing, but call me an annoying fanboy - I wanted some explanation for how Rey was a match for the grandson of literal Space Jesus. Anakin being the most powerful Jedi ever born (and how he was failed by those who were supposed to guide him to that destiny) is kind of central to the entire mythology of Star Wars. Is it reductive and elitist? I guess. I certainly enjoy having Jedi not born of the Skywalker bloodline in the old EU and the Clone Wars/Rebels story. I was frustrated by killing off all of Luke's students as part of resetting the universe in The Force Awakens, and never learning anything about them.

Honestly, as somebody who was in the Rey Skywalker camp (and wrote fanfiction to that effect!), I was glad to be wrong. This was better. It gave Rey more agency, and emphasized found family.

The exposition is weird and clunky. JJ clearly meant for Rey to have some kind of blood link to the previous mythology of the series - you cannot watch the sequence in Maz's castle and tell me otherwise. Rian didn't want to tell that story. JJ did. Kathleen Kennedy and Lucasfilm threw their hands up in the air and Disney raked in the cash. Looking at that Maz castle beat, there's a very good case to be made that Rey was supposed to be either a Skywalker or a Solo, and Palpatine was JJ's attempt to not completely throw out Rian's idea (that her parents went into hiding, becoming 'no one,' abandoning her and being killed somewhere else - their motivations in TLJ (drunks ditching her) are imputed by Kylo and Rey's own fears of abandonment, remember).

Weirdly, I think that of the outcomes, Palpatine was the best one. Explaining how Rey ends up alone on Jakku when she's related to either Luke or Leia is pretty hard without further damaging their characters. Palpatine having lovers, mistresses, whatever before Mace melted his face is gross but entirely plausible. The timeline is...confusing - I guess there's enough basis for Palpatine still having agents running around, chasing down Rey, that even years after his death Rey's parents would leave her behind in an attempt to protect her. It's a bit muddy, but so was Anakin being Luke and Leia's father before we had the prequels. A novel here would probably help if it is written competently)

The point is that Rey's arc refutes genetic destiny. Instead of being afraid of her, as the Jedi were of Anakin (and to an extent, the Skywalkers were of Ben) Luke and Leia (specifically Leia) allow her to grow into her own person, and ultimately she chooses to take the name Skywalker to honor them (and Ben's sacrifice). The problem in my mind is less that Rey is a Palpatine by blood or a Skywalker by choice, and more that she's the only Jedi standing at the end of the trilogy. Making Finn's absolutely obvious force sensitivity a bigger deal narratively in TROS would have helped a lot (more on that later). And we still have the important implications of Broom Boy! He's not erased from existence, there simply wasn't room for his story in these 2.5 hours.

The First Act (and a bit)

The first 30 minutes or so of The Rise of Skywalker are...nuts. They feel less like a movie and more like a series of trailers or a 'previously on' for a movie we never saw. It's about as well done as it could be at establishing plot threads, the situation of the Resistance v the First Order, and where characters are starting from, as you could reasonably expect, but it's like cramming the entirety of the Jabba's Palace segment of Return of the Jedi into about half its runtime, at most.

What it comes down to, and I said this at the time, is that The Last Jedi is a very bad sequel to The Force Awakens. That doesn't (REPEAT: DOES NOT) make it bad film, or even a bad Star Wars film. But in terms of what the middle movie of a planned trilogy should be. It is. Not Good. JJ had seeded hints of Rey's origins and opened a bunch of mysteries. You can contend that he never intended or was never capable of answering them, and I think that's entirely unfair and reducing JJ's opus to the unsatisfying ending of 'Lost' is stupid and lazy, but they were there. The Last Jedi threw all of that out with extreme prejudice. I deeply disliked that; other people didn't. Either way, you had a problem (and you would have had even more of a problem if Colin Trevorrow had directed Episode IX as planned - this could have been SO. MUCH. WORSE.). The Rise of Skywalker is a natural sequel to The Force Awakens, though Palpatine's return could have been foreshadowed much better (or at all, if we're honest?) and it really makes me wonder how much changed from the first drafts of The Force Awakens to the version of The Rise of Skywalker we saw on screen.

I saw some criticisms that we had to read the tie-in material (including a bit from Fortnite??) to understand all the specifics of what planets these were, who Kylo Ren was murdering, etc...I don’t really think any of that was particularly important. It actually opens up a ton of new storytelling opportunities and made the universe feel big again, which The Last Jedi didn’t, at least for me. Apparently the planet Kylo is fighting on is Mustafar. That...doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense (maybe we finally have a Star Wars world that isn’t a single biome?) but it wasn’t actually that important. We saw Kylo searching for the Sith Wayfinder and murdering anybody in his way, we saw Poe and Finn being pursued from one end of the universe to another, and we got the 16 hour deadline before the fleet was ready (which was...weird, admittedly, but not in the slightest less weird that the fleet running out of fuel on a slow-motion chase or needing to fly off to an entirely different system to find a ‘code breaker’ to counter a techo gadget thing that let you trace people through hyperspace.

And yeah, if you are going to forgive The Last Jedi the dumb codebreaker/fuel shit which led to the detached Canto Bight B plot, you have to just acknowledge the Wayfinder thing as a macguffin that gets the plot moving in a certain direction and gives a clear path from narrative point a to narrative point b. Rian is not ahead of JJ on this aspect.

The subsequent fetch quest is less about the macguffin and more about the character beats on the way. Kylo and his boy band pursue Rey, Rey realizes her powers are kinda scary and hella impressive (including the healing mechanic, which is entirely precedented in past canon), you get to see some brilliant, funny, and touching moments between the trio we were not allowed in The Last Jedi, Rey discovers hints about her past, and Lando shows up.

We also get to my least favorite part of the film.

Poe Dameron is Better Than This

I do not understand why they ret-conned Poe into having a past as a smuggler, or why Keri Russell’s character was even necessary. You could explain it as youthful rebellion, maybe after Poe’s mom Shara Bey died (both his parents were Rebel veterans - that’s a lot of pressure), but it fits awkwardly into the established timeline.

The one good thing that came out of it was a moment where Poe is tempted to leave the Resistance, but that only makes sense because of Poe’s terrible hotheaded, reckless characterization in The Last Jedi, neither of which at all fit with his portrayal in the Poe Dameron comics (which are excellent). Poe eventually gets where he needs to be, and the conversation with Lando after Leia passes is one of the best moments of the film, and justified bringing Lando all by itself. Oscar Isaac is apparently really frustrated with Poe’s character and I cannot blame him. Rian Johnson started this weirdness, and it is one of the greatest flaws of The Last Jedi and more people need to acknowledge how racist it was to reduce a 30-something brown-skinned veteran to an impulsive, out of control idiot who gets physically and verbally smacked around by two white women, and JJ didn’t really try to fix it. I guess his arc kinda works in a vacuum. I still deeply dislike it. Cutting that entire section down to the bare bones would have made more room for...

Finn and the Triad

The dynamic between Finn, Poe, and Rey was fantastic. There is abundant basis for Finn and Poe to be canon romantic interests, and I cannot conclude it was anything but Disney’s cowardice that prevented that from happening (and honestly, same for Finn and Rey). JJ is no more to blame than Rian - I genuinely believe this came from higher up. It sucks. A lot. What we do get is precious, and frankly makes Rian’s argument for separating them (that they would get along and it would be boring) kinda silly. They are also incredibly funny together - John, Isaac, and Daisy play off each other so damn well, and I was cackling when the Falcon was on fire and Poe was mad about BB-8.

Finn is absolutely force sensitive. It is apparently what he was trying to say to Rey, he has feelings that turn out to be correct like three times, he wielded a lightsaber with some proficiency in The Force Awakens. It’s canon. Why it isn’t explicit is a function of the Force User plot becoming divorced from Finn and Poe in The Last Jedi. JJ and Terrio also could have fixed that, and chose not to.

We got a tantalizing glimpse of what could have been with Janna and the other defectors. It was really good, but it wasn’t nearly enough, and I am Mad about it. To borrow from some great ideas on twitter, Janna could have revealed that her unit heard about Finn on Jakku and it inspired them to defect. They could have together swayed a bunch of reluctant stormtroopers to rebel (they were otherwise just treated as facist canon-fodder, which, not great when a lot of them are child soldiers!). It was perfectly set up from TFA and they just...dropped the ball.

Like I said, I’m Mad. TLJ did nothing with Finn as a defector or the child soldier thing in general, and TROS did the bare minimum. Huge, huge wasted opportunity. We got promises that we’d get to find out more about who Finn is and...we didn’t, or at least, not in the theatrical cut. TLJ had a scene of Finn and Phasma talking about his being a traitor/defector. Rian cut it down to a fight scene and the ‘Rebel Scum’ line. Writers jail for both of them, tbh, though JJ clearly cared about Finn (he’s why the character exists as he does, as why Boyega was cast, and maybe if TLJ doesn’t make Kylo into Rey’s co-protagonist we get something different. I'm not going to blame Rian for something JJ could have fixed if he cared to.

And least we got something, I guess.

Kylo Ben

I think the first time I actually cared about Ben Solo as a character was when Kylo symbolically ‘died,’ and Ben was saved by Rey’s healing abilities. That was excellent writing, even if it was not subtle. I liked Leia and Han (as part of Ben’s memories) have a role in helping him find some sort of redemption. I was frustrated and mad that Anakin Skywalker’s grandkid could be a straight up space fascist with even fewer redeeming qualities. He still deserved to die. He had no family to go back to and he was directly responsible for thousands of innocent deaths and closely linked to the death of trillions. Like Vader, you don’t just come back from that.

Like Anakin, Ben made his own choices. Was he manipulated by Snoke/Palpatine? Sure. He still had multiple occasions to chose differently and did not. It’s part of his flaws as a character. Han and Leia did their best as parents - we find out Leia even abandoned her Jedi training because she was afraid for her son. Ben’s inevitable fall (which mirrors that of Jacen Solo, a truly fascinating character who I will always be Mad about) soured the sequel trilogy from the start in some ways, but it is hard to envision it without Ben turning. I don’t know. I think without Ben being who he was we simply have a different set of movies.

The kiss is...I don’t even know. Rey clearly cared about Ben, and believed he could change, but also refused to compromise who she was in order to pull him back to the light. I would have vastly preferred a forehead kiss or something along those lines.

On balance I’m glad he got a Vader redemption. I think Palpatine came back in part because Ben simply was not a particularly captivating villain, and without him to provide contrast and make the stakes clear, Ben’s redemption is not possible, and that’s arguably an even worse outcome, especially given how he was manipulated so much at an impressionable age. I’m really glad Leia had a chance to influence his turn as her final act in this life (Carrie deserved a better ending but it was the best they could do after Carrie’s death imo).

Grandpa Palps

First, Palpatine finding a way to survive and setting up multiple contingency plans to return to power is completely in keeping with his portrayal in both the old and Nu EUs (a big part of the post-Endor stuff is Operation Cinder, where Palpatine posthumously ordered the scouring of dozens of Imperial loyalist worlds to spread fear and prevent the Empire from continuing without him). Palpatine also LOVES his superweapons - he built two Death Stars, ffs. A fleet of them is not exactly a stretch in terms of strategy. The Rise of Skywalker definitely felt like it owed a debt to one of the more divisive bits of the old Star Wars EU - the Dark Empire series of comics by Tom Veitch and Kevin J Anderson, which have cloned Palpatines, Luke turning to the Dark Side, an ungodly number of superweapons, and a planet where Palpatine hides and builds them after his defeat.

I don’t think his survival ruins Anakin’s arc - Anakin’s actions still destroyed Palpatine’s Empire (that he helped to build) and its 26 year reign of terror. The galaxy got 30 years of relative peace and then a war that was not nearly as destructive or large scale as the Galactic Civil War. People saying it makes Anakin’s arc irrelevant are just being silly.

Retconning Snoke to a cloned puppet (probably an unwitting one) is actually not a bad writing choice. It explains why he was such a cardboard cut-out villain, and why he was so easily defeated. Honestly, I’m far more okay with how he died in The Last Jedi now that I know this (even if the pacing and the placement of that scene is still utterly bizarre).

The new EU set up cults and fanatics around the Dark Side and its avatars in the emperor and Vader. None of that felt particularly implausible to me as a result.

Legacies in the Sequel Trilogy

I really loved the ‘thousand generations live in you’ conceit. I loved the power of the old Jedi, snuffed out by Palpatine, helping Rey defeat him one last time (including my girl Ahsoka, RIP, I'm sure you went out like a badass). These are legacies and powers that don’t require blood ties or dynasties, they just rely on the force spanning the whole of the GFFA.

Ben is offered the chance to either turn away from his grandfather’s dark path early enough to warrant redemption, or to follow it through until the end. He actually chooses to do neither. With Leia’s dying intercession, he ends up following Anakin’s path to an extent, but his story is ultimately about the tragedy of expectations, fears, and the immense weight of the Skywalker name and legacy. All of his family are caught up in it. Rey is mostly apart from it, and then explicitly subverts her destiny to be Palpatine’s heir, and faces her fear of ending up there, by intent or just fate. As Luke says, some things are stronger than blood. Rey’s story is the ultimate testament to that, and it’s a pretty powerful message.

Leia. Oh god. I was absolutely thrilled when we found out she trained as a Jedi, and then served as Rey’s Jedi Master after Luke failed Rey so badly (after failing Ben). I think Luke’s story from TLJ to TROS is easily the most consistent, honestly. He made mistakes, both with Ben, and then with Rey, and he recognized it. The Rise of Skywalker acknowledges that Luke wasn’t right in how he handled training Rey either, and that went a long way to making me better accept how Rian portrayed him as flippant and dismissive and cynical.

Carrie’s absence was so badly felt. As I’ve said previously, I think they did the best job they could with the footage they held back and Carrie’s recorded audio. They managed to give her a relatively coherent story and an effect on the plot which she didn’t really have in The Last Jedi. I’ve seen speculation that it was supposed to be Leia, not Luke, who gave Rey that pep talk on Ahch-To, and in some ways it might have made more sense. Selfishly, I’m still glad it was Luke, because it helped reconcile my feelings about him in The Last Jedi. But they really did a great job in a really, really tough situation.

Rose Tico

Let’s just get it out there: the film’s treatment of Rose Tico and Kelly Marie Tran was inexcusably bad. Whether her character was a great addition to the cast in the Last Jedi or not, KMT faced horrendous abuse from various bigots and assholes, and after making a lot of public promises they reduced her to barely a minute of screen-time and no real impact on the plot. It’s shitty, it’s bad, and JJ and Disney should feel bad.

Introducing a character like Rose mid-way through a trilogy is risky, and while it worked with Lando, JJ clearly had no idea what to do with her. It’s just a mess, it’s the biggest black mark on the film, and on the sequel trilogy more broadly. Nobody comes out looking good here, and Rose Tico needs a Disney + series of her own or something. Protect Kelly Marie Tran at all costs.

The Rest

- Lando was great. So great. I wish we’d gotten the line that his daughter had been stolen by the First Order (and thus was potentially Janna) - we’d better get a book or a film or something. Lando’s conversation with Poe salvaged his character arc. Billy Dee Williams did a damn good job getting in shape for the role. He came out as genderfluid recently. He’s an absolute treasure and thank god they didn’t waste him.

- I just wanted to reiterate how HAPPY I AM THAT JJ ABRAMS MADE LEIA A JEDI HOLY SHIT

- It was a blink and you’ll miss it moment for people who didn’t read Chuck Wendig’s Aftermath series, but the death of Temmin ‘Snap’ Wexley in a battle where his step-dad (Wedge Antilles) made a brief appearance was devastating and I still don’t know how to feel about it.

- The space battles were awesome. Lando and Chewie bringing in the cavalry was what we were so cruelly teased for in The Last Jedi, which I am still mad about. Forget the logistics, forget the story logic, it was awesome. Maybe in the future I’ll be more annoyed. I honestly doubt it.

- Hux lives (and dies) for drama. He’s the pettiest son of a bitch in the GFFA, he would absolutely turn informant to win his fight with Kylo Ren, especially if he suspected that Kylo had killed Snoke and then was an incompetent child. His dying shortly thereafter is honestly exactly what the character deserved.

- On the cavalry moment, and the galaxy rising to destroy the First Order - I loved it in Return of the Jedi’s special edition, I love it here. There’s a thematic resonance with our heroes overcoming their fear and the galaxy at large being stirred to action. I just wish we’d gotten a few ragtag forces to show up at Crait, but that was a choice Rian made. I’m glad JJ chose differently. It was incredibly Star Wars.

- The 3PO stuff was weird, especially given how emotionally centred it was in the final trailers. It was also tied up in the Poe stuff I disliked. I don’t really know what else to say. At least R2D2, BB-8, and him felt like characters, not purely plot devices.

- Chewie - his reaction to losing Leia was absolutely devastating, his relationship with the next gen trio was great, and his death fake-out was...weird. I could go either way with that - killing him would have been a huge risk I could have respected, on the other hand if he was going to go out he deserved better than that (like, say, a moon getting dropped on him saving the life of Han Solo's kid). His ‘death’ did set up a crucial character beat for Rey. And there were, in fact, two transports, I remember that.

TLDR;

It was a fun movie! It tried to do way too much because The Last Jedi was not an effective sequel to The Force Awakens, and that’s on Kennedy and the LFL story group more than anyone else. It nailed the broad strokes of the Jedi/Force plot in my opinion, including subverting genetic destiny and the power of blood ties over everything else. In the process, it let a number of characters down, who were unfortunately also the characters of color, which is: not great.

I found it rewarding as a fan. It rewarded my faith in the goodness of the denizens of the GFFA and the power of found family. I’ve loved Rey from the start and I’m thrilled with how her arc ended with her burying the Skywalker legacy and making a new start with her new family in Poe and Finn (and Rose, damn it). I’m glad it made me feel better about Luke Skywalker and finally made Leia a bona-fide lightsaber wielding Jedi. I was exhilarated coming out of it, instead of exhausted and frustrated like I was in The Last Jedi. It didn’t make me hate Star Wars. It had extreme Return of the Jedi energy, and that is literally all I needed out of this film.

Here’s to a load of more complex, nuanced, and adventurous storytelling that the Skywalker saga never really allowed. I’m still excited for the prospect of Rian working with his own characters in the universe. I think JJ should probably be done.

Chuck Wendig said that the Star Wars universe was junk. Fun, whimsical, exciting, but ultimately not really a well-crafted piece of art. I’m inclined to agree.

#martinus watches the star war #tros spoilers

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lupizora · 5 years ago

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Forgive Me (Not)

I started this fic to sort out my feelings for the Traitor!Uraraka theory and it spiraled from there. Can’t say if this is strictly platonic or not so I put it down as both. The M rating for this fic is just to be safe! I tried to portray some strong negative emotions and didn’t want to catch anyone unprepared for what’s to come. ^^”

Genre: Heavy Angst / Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Kacchako/Gen

Rating: M

Word Count: 4821

Summary: They were two broken people standing at the edge of the unknown together.

When Bakugou emerged into consciousness, the knocking wasn’t what first got his attention. The soft shuffle of the curtains did. He hated this new oversensitivity. If only for a moment, his mind would return to the League’s gloomy bar; restrains digging at his shoulders; the faint smell of smoke and spilled alcohol assaulting his lungs with each breath. Three months later and it would always destroy his mood. After seeing the time was twelve minutes past four in the morning, a wave of anger washed over him too.

Who the fuck? He thought, throwing the covers aside.

The silhouette outside his window was too short to be his redhead neighbor. Bakugou tugged the sliding door open. Cold air rushed in the room with an evening fury befitting the beginning of winter, and the curtains parted to reveal Uraraka.

She took a step back, her eyes wide. “I… um… I’m really sorry, Bakugou! It was a mistake. I… I-I’ll leave now!” Turning around, she tried to walk away with the elegance of a robot.

“Take responsibility first, you moron.” He sighed, following her out on the balcony. “What are ya doing here?”

The freezing tiles nipped at his bare feet and he winced. Nothing he couldn't endure as long as it led to the bottom of this awakening. However, Uraraka made no attempt to face him as seconds came and passed. His toes were half-numb by that point, so Bakugou focused on her back instead. She wore their gym uniform and had her hair tied into a messy ponytail. This get-up was usually reserved for joining his combat training, and she hadn't been sporting it earlier.

“I messed up is all,” she finally said. “Thought it was Deku’s.”

“Deku’s room isn’t on this floor,” he said. “You know that already from following the nerd like a lost puppy all the time. So do me a favor and cut the crap.”

Maybe someone else would have had the patience to hear her out. It had been the day of Sir Nighteye’s funeral, after all. To brighten up the mood, the class had declared a movie night. They were all laughing by the time Bakugou returned to his room with Uraraka being her usual bubbly self. Even if it had been an act, she wouldn’t come to him for emotional support. He wasn’t her friend.

“It was an honest mistake. I’m sorry if I bothered you,” she said. Her tone wasn’t apologetic at all.

Dread dropped like a stone in Bakugou’s stomach. He suspected foul play but the League was on the run. They wouldn’t dare to infiltrate the school. His mind reminded him of a different scenario; one he had been contemplating over for the past few months.

On the third morning of his house arrest, after his big fight with Deku, Bakugou had been prepping for his chores when he heard voices coming from Aizawa’s room. Overcome by curiosity, he pressed his back against the wall and glanced inside. The laptop’s monitor illuminated two figures, leaving the rest of the room shrouded in darkness. Finding his homeroom teacher still awake wasn’t as surprising as Present Mic being there. He never visited this early.

“There is nothing unusual so far,” Aizawa said.

Present Mic yawned, stretching his back against the chair. “Everything is too quiet for my taste. Think they got scared, Eraser?”

“Or maybe they are laying low like the rest of the League.” He dragged a hand across his face with a groan. “I don’t want to suspect my students, Mic. They are all promising kids.”

“They also love getting into trouble. Picking a fight right under your nose, who would have thought! Must have been quite the show.”

“This isn’t a laughing matter. We don’t have room for slip-ups like that anymore. Everyone’s eyes are on us and we haven’t made any progress in locating the traitor. It was your idea so concentrate.”

Traitor.

The word caught Bakugou’s attention hook, line, and sinker. The teachers were suspecting one of them to be leaking information to the Villains. He edged closer to the door so he wouldn’t miss a thing.

“Yes, sir! Anyway, the problem children and the other four are not on the list.” Present Mic mumbled a couple of names, scratching them off the file in his lap. “Come to think of it, most of your girls have stealthy Quirks. Hagakure is invisible. Asui can climb walls. Jirou can hear through walls.”

“The conference hall is sound-proof and an invisible person would be too obvious for a mastermind like All for One.”

“Just because it’s obvious, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider it. Although, if we absolutely have to think outside the box…” His pen stopped mid-air. “I’d say Uraraka.”

“Why?” Aizawa asked with a perplexed tone.

“It wouldn’t cross your mind, right? She looks innocent enough. But you know how the saying goes: Don’t judge a book by its cover. Of all the kids, she’s the only one with a clear motive.”

“Lots of Pros are doing it for the money, and as far as I know, we already have a decent arrangement with her parents over the tuition.”

“Relax, it was only a guess.” Present Mic raised his hands in an appeasing gesture. “You are right though. Having to suspect every one of these little listeners sucks!”

Bakugou decided he had heard enough. Without a sound, he returned to sorting the cleaning supplies and feigned ignorance when Present Mic left for class. An unpleasant feeling spread inside his chest; the same thought circling at the back of his mind.

Was it really possible?

All this time, Bakugou hadn’t had the chance to voice his concerns. Major events had followed one another in an endless cycle of trouble and danger—everyone too busy to catch a breath, more so worry about inside affairs. Currently, this night was proving to be an unprecedented opportunity. One he wasn’t willing to miss. If Uraraka wouldn’t give him some straight answers, he would force them out by any means necessary.

“You know. Something has been bothering me for a while.” Keeping his hands leisurely in his pockets, Bakugou approached Uraraka. “During Kamino, you said to Kirishima and the other idiots that I’d feel disgraced if they came to help me.”

“I did.”

“How did you know that?”

Her shoulders tensed but she chuckled. “You aren’t very subtle about your dislikes.”

“You also said I’m scared of Deku after the end of the term.” Her words back then had cut straight through his walls of denial to the core of his issue with the nerd. No one—not even himself—had been really aware of it. “That was awfully perceptive of you.”

“You were on such bad terms when you’re supposed to be childhood friends. Can you blame my curiosity?”

“It felt more than simple curiosity. It’s like you were dissecting me to find what makes me tick.”

Uraraka turned around just as he stopped two steps away. “Deku does it too. Haven’t seen you confront him about it.”

Grabbing the veranda’s railing, Bakugou trapped her between his arms. “Deku has been studying me for years—a lost cause really. But you had no reason to do that.”

“Why?”

“It doesn’t suit your personality.”

“That's ridiculous!” She said, flustered. “C’ mon, you were so cool in our fight, Bakugou. Like a completely different person! I’d be blind if I didn’t wanna learn what sort of hero you want to be.”

“And what’s the final call?” he asked.

“You’re so arrogant that you’d look to satisfy your needs before anyone else’s.”

“Like you then? You’re in the money, aren’t you?”

“To help my parents.” Her brow furrowed in worry as if someone had presented her with a truth she didn’t want to hear. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Facepalm also said we are the same. Shackled by society’s expectations so we can’t do what we want. I wonder how he figured it out from a photo of the award ceremony.”

“What are you getting at?”

He leaned closer, leveling his gaze with hers. “You’re the mole, right?”

Lowering her head, Uraraka covered her face. Snuffles escaped from behind her hands. It caught him off guard, and Bakugou let go of the railing. For once he wanted to be wrong in his deduction. Learning about All Might’s secret had been enough of a blow. If the traitor turned out to be one of them, the class’ morale would plummet. He hated nothing more than to be responsible for it again.

But his half-baked apology died in his throat when it became apparent that Uraraka wasn’t bawling her eyes out.

She was laughing.

“I didn’t think it’d be that easy.” Uraraka climbed on the railing. Keeping her balance atop the metal bar, she shot him an icy glare. “Yes, it is me. What’re you gonna do about it?” She declared and dropped into the void below.

Bakugou jumped after her. His mind was blank, feeling nothing but the wild beating of his heart. The wind rushed past him. Aided by gravity, his body seemed eager to meet the ground. The fourth floor wasn’t such a great distance to cross. He propelled himself forward anyway and collided with Uraraka, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Their entangled bodies touched the ground without any rattling of bones or pain. Before Bakugou could get past the disorientating sensation of gravity returning, Uraraka elbowed him in the neck. Pain erupted in his gut from the follow-up knee. He tried to pin her down, but she slipped away like an eel.

“Come back here!” he growled.

Her laugh echoed all around them as she provoked him to follow. Uraraka dashed into the surrounding trees with Bakugou in tow. Leaves and branches crunched beneath his feet, splinters digging into his bare soles. Bakugou ignored the pain and kept running. Despite the cold, he was already drenched in sweat.

Uraraka maneuvered around the trees with ease; her back always a couple of steps ahead—taunting him. Oh, how much Bakugou wanted to grab her by the shirt and smash her face onto the ground. He could reach her; his hands had warmed up sufficiently from all the running. But he didn’t want a drone to alert the teachers like in his fight with Deku. So they continued their little chase, getting further and further away from the dorms. The white clouds escaping Bakugou’s mouth got more frequent as he strained himself to keep a good pace. By the looks of it, Uraraka also had trouble doing the same. Her ragged breath was the only sound resonating in the forest.

This pocket of darkness and silence didn’t last for long. Uraraka broke through the vegetation into an open area covered with concrete. Streetlamps illuminated the place as if it was some kind of boxing ring. Bakugou could faintly see the shape of a large wall up ahead. According to his calculations, they were close to either mock city A or mock city B. Drones were bound to be lurking there for sure.

This needs to end here.

Igniting his Quirk just enough to not arouse suspicion, Bakugou leaped over Uraraka. She didn’t stop, her eyes following his trajectory.

The moment his bare feet skidded on the concrete in front of her, Uraraka threw a left hook. Bakugou blocked it. He redirected the right one coming his way too. She had such an intense look on her face. Part of him, the rational one always working in the background during fights, noticed her flawless technique. Months of work paying off at the worst possible scenario.

There was something odd though. Sure, Uraraka aimed for his knees or his stomach—spots that would give her the advantage—but made no attempt to use her Quirk. It was as if this was a deliberate physical brawl and for one, Bakugou didn’t mind not using his Quirk. It would keep unwanted attention away.

“Why so cautious, Bakugou?” she asked. “Don’t you want to revenge? Come at me with all you got!”

Bakugou smacked an open palm on her collarbone. Instead of backpedaling out of breath, Uraraka pounced with a war cry. Wrapping her legs around his arm and shoulder, she dragged him to the ground. His back felt most of the impact. Bakugou didn’t let that stop him. Releasing his hand with an explosion, he elbowed Uraraka in the ribs. She had enough spark left to kick him. Bakugou allowed the leg to strike, using it to pull Uraraka under him.

His hands closed around her throat. The muscles in his forearms strained as Bakugou tightened his hold. Her pulse was beating wildly under his fingers, struggling to bring blood to her brain. Uraraka clawed at his hands. The choking sounds were replaced by a piercing whine. Bakugou barely felt her body contorting under him. He could blow her head to bits. Splatter blood all over the pavement. A single explosion was all he needed. That’s how frail human bodies were, even for a girl of her tenacity.

No.

Bakugou wouldn’t give Uraraka the benefit of a quick death. He’d watch as her walnut doe eyes grow unfocused and empty, life slipping out of them. He’d listen for the final breath when it escaped her cherry lips. He’d feel her heartbeat stopping while her rosy cheeks lose their color. Already Uraraka’s movements had gotten slower. She didn’t apply the same force as before. Disheveled hair fanned behind her head like a broken halo. And, to Bakugou’s surprise, Uraraka caressed his cheek; finger pads scraping roughly against his skin.

“Do it,” she mouthed.

A cold weight dropped in his chest as if someone had sucker-punched him there.

“Why did I have to be the reason for All Might’s end?”

Bakugou had screamed that at the top of his lungs while the stench of smoke and nitroglycerin still lingered in the air. His voice was echoing when Deku had lowered his fists, shocked. Bakugou couldn’t bear that expression and had continued to shout his frustration at the road beneath his feet.

Why am I remembering this now?

And then it hit him.

Oh.

His fingers relaxed their hold.

Uraraka coughed violently. Confusion flashed across her eyes as she watched him stand. Bakugou didn’t make it to ten steps before he heard the shuffling of her clothes.

“What…” Her voice cracked on the first word, volume lowering while she struggled to continue. “Are you… doing?”

“I can’t give you what you want.”

“Why?” She shouted—raw and strained like a raging tiger.

“I’m not a judge, nor an executioner. And definitely not your damn emotional punching bag!”

“So Deku wasn’t yours?”

Bakugou clenched his fists so tight he might as well had stopped his blood circulation. Releasing his fingers, he let a couple of small explosions sparkle in his palms like firecrackers. “I don’t try to repeat my mistakes,” he said.

“That’s rich!” Uraraka sneered. “You can sort your problems through violence and I can’t? Is this some kinda privilege only the brightest of our class have?”

“What’s happening right now and that situation are nothing alike!”

“Because it wasn’t your fault?” Uraraka whispered. “I didn’t want any of this, Bakugou. But my parents’ lives were in danger.”

It puzzled him because of a conversation he had happened to overhear a while ago. “Your parents don’t live here,” he said.

“They came to Tokyo once. To congratulate me after the Sports Festival and reassure me that I did my best in my fight against you and that they are oh so proud of me.”

Her laugh was hollow and emotionless, chilling Bakugou to the bone. He never thought Uraraka was even able to sound like that when she competed with Kirishima for the title of 1-A’s Sunshine.

He turned around to find her kneeling on the ground.

“But it was exactly that fight that caught Sensei’s eye,” she said with a sad smile, not meeting his gaze. “My parents had left for the station, and I had barely closed the front door when Mr. Kurogiri appeared behind me. The hallway was pitch black as if light couldn’t reach past his Warping. Had a rough idea where was his body from USJ but before I could do anything, he transported me to Sensei’s headquarters. He...” Uraraka rubbed her thumbs over the rest of her finger pads, struggling to find the right words to describe All For One.

“It’s okay,” Bakugou huffed and took a seat in front of her. “He has that effect on people.”

The bastard was a hundred years old and had survived against an All Might in his prime. If anything, All for One’s aura alone could bring grown-ass Heroes to their knees. Someone losing his words at his presence would be the least he could do.

“He congratulated me for my strategy and bravery. Said we could both gain from each other if I worked for him. I refused and Sensei… he… he smiled.” Her words came out strained as she seemed to relieve the memory. “Before I knew it, I was inside the Central train station. My parents stood at the platform, laughing about something I couldn’t hear from the noise of the crowd.” She sniffed. “A warp gate opened over their heads. It was a blind spot. The cameras would never see the gun that appeared through the gate. I tried to shout, warn my parents but instead, I started puking some sort of stinky mud and returned to Sensei.”

She didn’t have to say anything else. It was plain as day what was her answer to his proposal the second time around.

“What did he ask you to do?” he asked.

“The first part of the deal was gathering intel about U.A. and their plans. I couldn’t get inside the conference room no matter how much I tried. Thought it’d be easier to remember the layout of the teachers’ lounge and sneak in when they weren’t there.”

“That’s why you asked Present Mic to help you with your English homework so much.” It had been her go-to excuse whenever she was late for practice.

Uraraka nodded. “Lots of important documents were in their desks. If anyone saw me, I’d say I forgot something. I had timed-out every route to the office perfectly so it happened only a bunch of times.”

Bakugou shifted his position. This cold and calculating Uraraka didn’t sit right with him. “And what was the other part of the deal?”

“I had to keep an eye on you—the League’s most fitting candidate. Sensei said it shouldn’t be hard. Our fight had made me interesting in your eyes.”

Part of Bakugou wanted to deny this statement, but deep down even he could see a slimmer of truth. Uraraka had entered his life like a storm after the Festival. His failed internship with Best Jeanist was still fresh on his mind, so her approach had left him hesitant at first. She was Deku’s friend so why couldn’t she ask him to be her sparring partner? Having overheard Uraraka's reason to learn martial arts though, Bakugou had given her the benefit of the doubt. He also couldn’t wait to see how much she could grow. Their sparring sessions had been challenging and exciting since Uraraka always had a new trick up her sleeve. Over time, this change of pace had maybe lowered his defenses. It hadn’t brought them any closer though or so he told himself again and again and again. But Bakugou couldn’t prevent the sting of betrayal from piercing his heart anyway.

“You stuck to me like glue for the whole damn semester because of some psycho’s sick pet project. Great. Just fucking great.” Bakugou smiled, despite the disgust and horror tingling in his chest. “And when I was ready, you called the dogs to come and fetch me!”

“The only thing I knew was that someone would come and get you off the Camp. But they kidnapped Ms. Pixie Bob too.” Uraraka fisted the fabric of her pants to stop her hands from shaking. “And I couldn’t do anything about it! Just watch and hope no one dies! Yes, you were my mission, Bakugou. But somewhere along the line, I found more people to care about along with my parents. More people to lose, including you. That’s why said that to Kirishima. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt!”

“There are Villains, Uraraka. Hurting people is what they do best.”

“Mr.Nighteye thought so too,” she said. “He became conscious as I was taking him to safety. He couldn’t control his Quirk and saw my future. He warned me that I won’t be able to save anyone if I continue down this path. For a moment, I thought about dropping him. He wouldn’t expose me if he was dead. I would just weep and blame myself for not being quick enough to the other Heroes. Easy peasy.” She sniffled, tears shining in her eyes. “Guess he didn’t remember a thing in the end. And I… I was relieved for a while. But today, when I saw his face again, everything flooded back and I couldn’t take it anymore...”

“So you came to me. The one guy ready to beat you bloody for what you’ve done.”

She chuckled softly. “I thought you’ll understand. What I didn’t expect was the great Bakugou Katsuki going easy on me.”

“That’s what you call this?” Bakugou scoffed. “Hate to break it to you, Round Face, but I didn’t wanna get in trouble for your sorry ass.”

Her posture seemed to shrink. “Then what I’m supposed to do?”

Bakugou placed his hands on her shoulders.

The trembling stopped as Uraraka lifted her head. She clenched her hands into fists, anticipating his next move. For what Bakugou had in mind to work, she needed to stand still. So he cupped her infuriating round face.

Uraraka stared back with wide eyes, seemingly out of breath.

Bakugou head-butted her.

Rivulets of pain ran along his forehead from the point of impact. Uraraka’s skin was warm against his own as if she had a fever. White spots were dancing across her face like a myriad of stars. When the image cleared up, he noticed how a few golden specks adorned her hazel eyes.

“What’s wrong with you?” Uraraka shoved him and folded in two, holding her forehead.

Bakugou mouthed the question and anger flared in his chest. ”What’s wrong with you? Weren’t you the one who refused to back down in our fight no matter what?” For once, he managed to keep his tone down and still sound angry enough to consider it shouting. “Didn’t you go through all this shit to keep your parents safe? You wanna be a Hero, right? Then face your problems head-on!”

“You are one to talk,” she said. “Mr. I-can't-understand-emotions.”

“You woke me up in the middle of the night for this shit. Don’t sass me, okay?” he said. “Look, all I’m saying is that every fucking idiot in this class is gonna support you. They are persistent like that.”

“Why would they? I hurt them! Put everyone in danger! And you got kidnapped because-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“But-“

“The info you gave them would be useless if I didn’t act that way in the first place!” Admitting this shocked him, but he didn't stop. “I realized it during the press conference. Those leeches used my behavior to bring U.A. down. Facepalm tried to use that as a way to convince me too. I was never going to join their stupid clique. Our goals were different. But it made me think.” Bakugou stared at his hands. “All my life everyone told me that my Quirk is a Hero’s one. I never doubted that fact even when I all I could do was destroying. But the Quirk itself isn’t what makes someone a Hero. It’s how and for what purpose you use it. I wouldn’t have learned that if things had stayed the same.”

Uraraka grabbed his wrists, forcing his attention on her. “You would! There are other ways to learn that without almost dying!” Her hold got weaker. “I can’t… forgive myself for doing this to you.”

Bakugou stared back. Tears dropped on their joined hands like the beginning of a summer storm. “I can’t forgive you, Uraraka,” he said.

Her head shot up as if he had slapped her, the soft edges of her face twisting into a sorrowful expression. “I understand,” she said.

“No, you don’t,” he grumbled. “You’re my rival, dammit! You shouldn’t let those weirdos that call themselves Villains give you value. That asshole sure talks big for with a hand on his face!”

“Technically, I was under Sensei’s orders.”

“All the more reason to not give a shit now! He is behind bars, leaving Facepalm in charge.”

It wasn’t as simple as he was making it sound. Shigaraki was dangerous with or without his teacher around. For one, he was still on the loose even after attacking an armored convoy and two, his twisted drive to take down All Might still haunted Bakugou’s nightmares.

Uraraka closed her eyes. “It’s not that easy.”

“Yeah. But if there is hope for a bastard like me, there is hope for you too.” He stood up, dragging her along. “C’ mon, we gotta tell the teachers.”

“No, we can’t!” She shook her head, vigorously. “What if Sensei has more moles inside U.A.?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Aizawa would rather die than work for scum like All for One and you know it. If he can defend the most-fitting-to-be-a-Villain on national TV, he can listen to what you have to say.”

Uraraka rubbed her neck; blue imprints from his fingers had already formed against her pale skin. “What about you, Bakugou? Why help someone that hurt you?”

Sure, saving people without any rewards was more of Deku’s style. Bakugou had never considered another person’s feelings until he had to go through All Might’s retirement. Still, he wasn’t angry at her anymore. He was angry at those fuckers for their underhanded methods and having the nerve to use her family like this, but not at Uraraka.

“The number Hero wins and rescues,” he said. “Can’t be slacking here if that’s my goal, right?”

Color returned to her cheeks and Uraraka hummed in agreement.

They used the road to return in the dorms.

By the time Bakugou could see 1-A's Height Alliance building, his body was showing signs of their fight. Pain pooled around his ankles and forearms in constant subdued drumming. Resisting the urge to wince whenever gravels dug into the bare soles of his feet, Bakugou kept Uraraka in his line of vision. Just to make sure she won’t disappear. He was definitely not paying attention to how she clenched and unclenched her hands in front of her.

The cold marble steps of the entrance and the relief they offered didn’t last long. Bakugou and Uraraka crossed the lounge in silence. Up ahead, a blue light glowed from underneath the closed door of Aizawa’s room—signaling their teacher was still awake.

Bakugou raised his hand to knock.

“Wait,” Uraraka said.

A bruise had started taking shape on her forehead. It diverted Bakugou’s attention, making him wonder for a moment if they should put ice on it. Then he caught her uncertain stare.

“Told you there is nothing to worry,” he said. “Don't run on me.”

“That's not it.” Her voice remained steady for the first time that night. “Can you come with me?”

“Why?”

“I don't know if I can do this again." She looked down. "Would you mind lending me some of your strength?”

The universe sure liked laughing at his face in the most ironic ways. She had held onto this secret for so long and after so many hardships while he was still trying to fill in the gaps of his shattered pride and arrogance with more meaningful things. Bakugou wished to have a word with the one responsible for his fate and blast their face to smithereens.

“Fine,” he said. “But only because I wanna see this to the end.”

Uraraka smiled, brightening the room as if the sun had decided to rise early. “Can I hold your hand?”

“If you ask me another damn thing, I'm throwing you inside without a word.”

Bakugou clasped her hand and allowed her to lace their fingers. The contact made him hyper-aware of her slight trembling but he didn’t comment on it.

Uraraka took a deep breath, restoring her game-on face. Yeah, it pissed him off at how lightly she believed in her own strength.

He knocked, letting the chips fall where they may.

They were two broken people standing at the edge of the unknown together, and damn if they wouldn’t try their hardest to set this right.

#bakugou katsuki #uraraka ochako #bnha fic #bnha fanfiction #bnha #boku no hero academia #fanfiction #fanfic #wolfswriting #kacchako #angst #hurt/comfort #traitor uraraka #traitor au #wolfsstuff

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luffysmeat · 7 years ago

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OH MY GOD I JUST READ YOUR LAW HEADCANNONS & JUST IMAGINE. HIM & HIS SO ARE IN THE VERY BEGINNING OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP & HE LAYS HIS HEAD IN HER LAP FOR THE FIRST TIME BC LIKE U SAID HE LOOOVES THAT THIGHS & SHE JUST STARTS FONDLING HIS SCALP WITHOUT KNOWING IT HAS SUCH A MEANING TO HIM ok right in the feels I'm dying

Here's your extremely cheesy Law scenario (this is not an scenario), this is proooobably too oc, tbh. BUT I hope you enjoy it. Anon, here it is. Now kill me because I shouldn't be doing this, help.

Words: 1, 718 (I'm adding a read more because I don't want to spam anyone)

---

"Law, look at this new book I bought", there's a soft chuckle coming from him as she entered the room without permission. It was not something weird, 'I sleep here too, why do I have to knock? It's like asking permission to enter my own home', he was not sure if he was amused by her way of thinking or happy because she compared this little room to a home, perhaps, he should feel scared for feeling both.

He lets out a sigh and looks back at her. "It looks very interesting", he smirked when he saw the unfaced expression in her features.

"You are not funny", she says and takes the book out of a paper bag. "It is a tale", she says and he hums when she shove it to his face. Law takes it between his hands and gets a bit surprised when she suddenly sweeps her warm fingertips against his cold knuckles, he shivers due to the contrast of tempetures and quickly looks through the pages of the book.

"It looks very interesting", he repeats and she rolls her eyes, taking the book back.

"You are not funny," she repeats. "Can I read it hear?", she's already sitting on the bed before he gives her an answer. "Ah, I already sat, what a shame"

"You're not funny either", she giggles and Law quietly growls when he feels a warm feeling swirling on his stomach. He comes back to his work when she opens the book and starts to read.

For how long have they been together? Two months? Five? Regardless, Law has always felt this strange sensation on his chest.

At first he accepted to be her partner because she confesed to him. It's true that she is gorgeous and her legs are just seriously perfect, but he was not especially interesting in her. Or interesting on dating in general. But he said yes, and looking at her happy expression he somehow knew he did something good.

But as time passes and they keep spending time together, he's not sure if this decision was good for him. About two weeks after oficially starting this relationship, he started to notice the little things about her. The little habits she has and the faces she makes when she's happy, sad or worried. She worries a lot, about the crew and about him and sometimes it makes him feel sick how worried she gets.

He noticed the things she likes and dislikes, the things that make her smile and laugh and pout and even cry. He noticed her smile and laugh and deep inside him he wanted to keep her smiling forever. He always feels the need to destroy the world when tears fall down her pink cheeks.

He noticed the way she thinks and speaks and the way she is. Fearless, direct, rarely shy and a little shit when she wants to be. He noticed how he liked her to tease him back and how stupid it makes him feel when she wins one of their little fights, and yet, he wants her to win all the time.

He noticed the way she sleeps and how she wakes up. Always so tender and warm in the mornings, kissing his face until he's awake, greeting him with a good morning and a blinding smile.

He also noticed his body, as a woman. Her legs were fantastic, a bit more rounded and meaty then other girls and they always turned him on quite a bit. He also noticed his butt and breasts and just everything and it kinda makes him feel embarrased.

He started to look at her more than just any girl, he started to look at her as his girlfriend, his partner, his companion. And it started to scare him. It scared him how he unconsciously was starting to open up to her, letting her see his softer sides; it scared him how every day he wanted to stay in bed with her, kissing her face and holding her between his arms. It scared him how he felt safe to let her know about his sadness and how he always finds refuge between her arms when it's getting too much.

For how long have they been dating? Eight months? A year?

"Six months, if I recall correctly", even though he spoke the question out loud expecting her answer, he shivered hearing her voice.

"I see", he mumbles and he can sense the smirk on her mouth. "Erase that smirk off your face, [Name]", she giggles and he wants to ask her to leave the room, but he can't because he doesn't want that.

He knows he doesn't want that. He found he doesn't want that. He has tried to push her away, but she was always patient and she always waited for him to calm down. She always understood when he needed time and didn't blame him about it nor asked for explanations.

He can hear her breathing changing depending on what was happening in the book. She said it was a tale, what is it about?

"It's about a King that has his heart filled with pain and the shadows of the past torment him at night. One day, though, he goes around the woods and finds this lady, beautiful as the first morning beams and fire on her eyes.

The king falls in love with her and feels that with her, he's going to forget about his past. He wants her so desperately, so he comes back to his castle and order his soilders to bring the lady to him. He keeps her in a room of his big castle and is happy when she doesn't say anything against him, but as day passes by, the fire on her eyes starts to die and the color of her cheeks starts to fade. So he knows he's hurting her..."

"And then?"

"Well I haven't finished it yet", she says and Law gulps on the glass of water at his side.

"He's gonna let her free and then come back to be alone", he mumbles as he scribbles on his notes.

"Hmm, who knows, a tale is a tale after all, there's magic everywhere, everything can happen"

Law hums and tries not to mind too much about it. But he does, that story was obviously they both. Law was the lonely and sad King and she was the beautiful lady of the woods. He's been taking her life just to his own good, and even though he keeps telling to himself that he didn't want this, he did want this deep inside him. To have someone, to hold someone.

"Stressed?", her eyes are glued to the book in her hands, but he knows that question was directed to him.

"A bit", he replies, not wanting to make a big deal about it.

"You know it is just a tale, right?", he had to chuckle, was he really that transparent? Perhaps she only notices when he's having internal problems.

"I know", he says and letting out a long sigh, he pushes the chair off the desk and gets up, walking to where she's sitting in the bed with her back against the wall. "May I?", he points at her thighs and she looks at him incredulously, but nods anyway.

He lays his head against her thighs and he sighs, sinking into her warm flesh. So comfortable, so soft. It make him want to sleep and stay like this forever. Feeling the movements of her belly with each breath and hearing the soft mumbles she lets out every now and then as she reads.

So comfortable, so soft.

"Feeling better?", he feels his inside tightening as soon as she starts doing that. "Law?"

Her soft fingers sinking on his messy hair, her fingertips scratching ever so lightly on his scalp, making him shiver and goosebumps appear on his skin. Fingers brushing his hair softly and lovingly, and she's even humming some kind of lullaby.

"Shit", he mumbles and his arm takes a place across his face, covering his eyes. But he knows she saw, because her fingers are suddenly stopping and she's withdrawing her hand.

"Does it hurt?", he nods and takes a shaky breath. "Where?"

"In my chest. In my memories. In my heart"

"Should I stop?", there was a universe behind her words. Should I stop what I'm doing right now? Should I stop being around? Should I stop wanting to be at your side? Should I stop this relationship? Should I stop loving you?

Yes, stop.

"No", he says, his voice breaking just a bit. "Don't stop. Never stop", he's begging and he hates himself for that, but her fingers are back caressing his scalp and he can't help a tremble of his body as a quiet sob rips through him.

She lets him be as he grits his teeth and try to hold in the tears starting to pour our of his eyes, but is too late and he can't stop them anymore, not while she's here and she keeps loving him.

Maybe this tears will drain the pain and the darkness of his heart to let her in completely.

"So, how did that book of yours end?", she gave him one of her widest smiles ever and he felt a tug of happiness in his heart.

"She saw through him, past his sadness and fell in love with him when they first encountered in the woods, and even though he selfishly took her for his own, she forgave him and helped him get out of the bottomless hole of his soul.

So they end up together, their kingdom going pass the woods, the life returning to both of them"

He hums and presses a soft kiss on her forehead, his hand grabbing her by the waist.

"Lucky King", he says with a smirk.

"You are also a lucky king", she says and he's still not that used to that melting sensation on his chest when she wraps her arms around his waist, but he grew to love it.

"Am I? I haven't found a beautiful lady, though", he laughed a bit when she punched him in the back.

"You are not funny at all"

He was, in fact, a very lucky king.

#one piece #one piece scenario #trafalgar law #trafalgar law scenario #r: scenarios #r: things

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xx-thedarklord-xx · 7 years ago

Text

Work With a Side of Gossip

The watercooler was predictably the highlight of the office. That was where most of the gossip happened and it was the one area Mister Malfoy never looked for anyone.

“He’s such a dick.” Seamus complained, clenching his water cup tightly. “If I wanted to be yelled at every day, I would have stayed home with my mother.”

Pansy snorted, smirk lighting up her features. “It’s your own fault for still living at home with her.”

“I know.” Seamus sighed regretfully. “But even she is more preferable to the boss. If he blames me one more time for the lack of sales in the eastern quarter, I may just commit murder.”

“The eastern quarter is your job.” Blaise pointed out, leaning against the wall. “But I know what you mean. He’s been a real prick as of late.”

“Yeah.” Ron admitted, ignoring his desk in favor of standing around them. “What is up with that anyways? I mean he has always been a bastard but these past few weeks it has been hell around here.”

Pansy leaned away when they all looked at her expectantly. “Why are you all looking at me? I don’t know Mister Malfoy any better than you do.”

“You’re the one who talked to him outside of work!” Ron argued, shaking his head. “We were all lucky enough to avoid a disaster like that.”

“Once!” She argued vehemently. “And that was at a grocery store! He was still the same as he always was, I felt like he was judging me for my food selections. I was too embarrassed to ever go back.”

“It’s not polite to gossip.” The dreamy tone had them all groaning.

Pansy put her hands on her hips and turned to Lovegood. “What do you know? You’re just a temp. Besides, if you can’t gossip about your boss, then who can you gossip about?”

Before the woman could respond, the sound of thundering feet had them turning towards the door.

“He’s coming!” Neville whisper yelled. “Malfoy is coming and he’s in a bad mood. He made the security guard cry.”

They all scrambled to get to their desks as Lovegood went down three floors to the temp office. Pansy shoved Ron out of her chair. “This is my desk you moron!”

“Ow.” Ron grumbled as he took the cubicle next to her. “Didn’t have to push so hard.”

Neville bit his lip nervously, his panic increased when they could all hear footsteps approaching. He was too anxious to pretend to do any work, so he picked up the phone on his desk. “Good morning, thank you for calling Malfoy and Malfoy Shipping CO, my name is Neville. How can I help you?”

Pansy nodded her head, impressed with his foresight. She turned on her computer and pulled open the spreadsheet she was supposed to have finished yesterday. At least she was really doing something.

Ron held his breath as he looked towards the door, hoping their boss wasn’t in that bad of a mood. Perhaps Neville had been over exaggerating?

When Draco Malfoy, the CEO of the company entered, they all groaned internally. He was not in a good mood. There was an angry aura vibrating around the man, his eyes were already narrowed in dislike and his hands were clenched at his sides.

Luckily, the boss said nothing as he made his way towards his office.

Everyone jerked in their chairs when his door was slammed so forcefully that it rattled the photos on the wall.

“I hate my job.” Pansy whispered miserably.

“Well.” Neville began, putting the phone down. “At least he didn’t say anything to us.”

Small blessings.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“Excuse me.”

The voice startled the mid-afternoon crash most of them were experiencing. It was only an hour to lunch and minds had long ago began to wander.

Pansy, who had been resting her chin in her palm, was surprised by the man’s looks so much that her elbow slid and jerked her face. Perhaps it was her recent break up or the six months respite from sex but this man, this man must have come straight out of a fantasy. He held himself with confidence and had an easy smile. His hair was messy in a way that had her wondering if he owned a brush. It was hard to tell from the distance but his eyes were definitely expressive and vibrant.

“Is Draco in?”

Draco? Ron tilted his head to the side at the use of the man’s first name. No one who stopped by ever addressed their boss with familiarity.

“Yes.” Blaise answered, coming to his senses much quicker than the rest of them. “But he is on a conference call at the moment.”

The man nodded. “Do you mind if I wait here for him?”

They all raised their heads to peer at each other, trying not to be the one to make the final decision. If Mister Malfoy didn’t want to speak to this person, then whoever allowed him to stay would face his wrath.

“Yes.” Neville spoke up in resignation when no one else said anything.

They watched curiously as the stranger pulled an unused chair from the side and settled himself down near Seamus’ desk.

“So.” The man began, resting one of his feet on the desk. “What’s the gossip around here like? Anything interesting?”

That had them all sharing another look. Speaking about their boss to someone unknown was a horrible idea.

Their silence caused the man to sigh. “Ah, well. It was worth a shot. How has Draco been lately? I know the past few weeks must have taken a toll on him. Hopefully he hasn’t been too hard on you all.”

The odd familiarity to them had Pansy looking to Blaise in confusion. Who was this guy?

Neville looked down and noticed that the conference call was no longer lit up. He tentatively picked up the phone.

“Yes?” The terse reply had Neville wincing.

“Sorry sir, there is a man here wanting to see you.” He looked over apologetically to the stranger, realizing that he hadn’t gotten a name.

“Harry.” The man supplied, brows furrowing.

Malfoy’s door swung open, clearly having heard the man through the phone. “Potter get in here!”

Pansy almost felt bad for the guy. That was the tone their boss used when he was in a particularly demanding mood. She did not want to be in his shoes.

She leaned her head back when the man grinned widely. That was not a normal reaction to Malfoy’s anger. Pansy looked to Seamus, hoping to see the same surprise on his face too. She almost snorted at the wary expression on his face. It was as if he thought Harry was mental.

“Anyone else think that was odd?” Blaise asked, coming into Pansy’s cubicle and sitting on her desk.

“Definitely.” Ron agreed, standing by Seamus’ desk. “I have never seen someone smile before going into his office.”

“He’s hot.” Seamus piped up, fanning himself. “If I wasn’t dating Dean, I would offer myself up in a heartbeat.”

Pansy and Blaise nodded their heads in unison. “Think he is single?” She asked, looking towards the door.

“With an arse like that?” Blaise shook his head. “I doubt it.”

“What do you think Malfoy is saying to him?” Neville, the ever worrier wondered quietly.

“That is a good question.” A few of them said curiously.

The clock painstakingly moved with a slowness that had Ron wondering if he broke it, if he could claim his early departure of lunch on that.

“He’s been in there nearly an hour.” Seamus whispered, not understanding that at all. Most scheduled meetings don’t even last that long.

When the door swung open, they all startled, trying to seem as if they had been working. Pansy was typing furiously, eyes on her boss and Harry exiting. It took a moment for her to realize that her monitor was turned off.

Seamus was blatantly staring at the two of them, not bothering to hide his open curiosity.

Ron was trying to appear as if he had been correcting something on his papers but it wasn’t until Neville flipped over his pencil, that he realized that he had been trying to write with the eraser. He would have been embarrassed by this but he was too distracted by the small smile on Malfoy’s face. Sweet baby Jesus that was something he never thought he would see.

Blaise was pretty sure he was gaping but he couldn’t help it. Not when this was proof that he was dreaming.

“Oh, before we go.” When their boss turned to look at them, they all straightened up in their seats. “I am taking off for the day. I advise you all to do the same.”

That was that. They all stared at the spot that the two men had been, in a dumbfounded confusion.

“Did he just tell us to go home early?” Blaise whispered disbelievingly.

Seamus vaulted over his desk and scrambled towards the door. “I’m not sticking around for him to change his mind!”

It was a mad dash after that. Several of them shoving each other to get to the door.

“Fucking hell.” Ron complained when Pansy shoved him out of the way. “Would it kill you to be gentle?”

--------------------------------------------------------------

“So, who do you think he is?” Seamus whispered as they watched Harry leave the room. This was fifth time in a month they had seen him come and go. “I would say a relative but Malfoy’s father is even more of an arse than he is.”

“No.” Pansy waved that theory away. “They don’t even almost look anything alike. I was thinking just a friend.”

“That would suggest that Malfoy has any friends.” Ron pointed out doubtfully.

“The man’s got a point.” Blaise chimed in with a hum. “But you also can’t deny that the boss is always in a better mood after Harry stops by.”

“True.” Neville whispered, staring at the closed office door. “Maybe they really are just friends.”

“We need more evidence.” Pansy concluded, slapping her hand against the desk. “Ron, get that wife of yours to come up with some theories. She’s the resident genius.”

Ron arched his brows. “Alright. But Hermione is only two floors down in bookkeeping. You could ask her yourself.”

“Nah. It’s been awkward between us since I drunkenly kissed her at the Christmas party.”

“Wait. What?” Ron asked in bewilderment.

------------------------------------------------------

Neville shot an alarmed look towards Seamus every time Malfoy paced close to his desk. The man rarely ever left his office. So seeing him distressed was setting off his nerves into an anxious state.

“Has Harry called or stopped by at all?” The question wasn’t barked out or said in anger. It sounded worried and that had the rest of them concerned.

“No.” Blaise offered when he lost the stare off that would decide who had to deal with the boss. “He hasn’t.”

“Fuck.”

Seamus rolled his chair clear to the opposite side of the room when he saw Malfoy run his fingers through his hair. If the man was resorting to messing up his pristine, precious hair, then things were about to get bad.

“Parkinson, pull open all news outlets, I want you to check—” He was cut off by the sound of running footsteps.

Pansy blinked rapidly when Harry burst into the room. His clothes were disheveled, ripped and torn in several places. His hair was surprisingly even more messier than usual and he had a gash across his face.

“Draco.” Harry whispered thickly. “It was a close call and—” The man stopped talking when Mister Malfoy clenched his fists and turned his back around, eyes closed and despair on his face.

“I quit.” Harry continued, hand raised but not moving towards anyone.

“You what?” Malfoy turned around rapidly. “I have been trying to get you to quit for years!”

“I know.” Harry’s hands were raised in surrender. “And I should have listened. But I was too stubborn and wanted to provide for you just as much as you provide for me.”

“Harry.” The whisper tore at Pansy’s heartstrings. She didn’t know her boss had even been capable of having so much emotion inside of him.

“I saw an entire team go down, Draco.” Harry’s voice cracked. “That could have been me and I couldn’t bear the thought of you having to bury your own husband.”

‘Husband?’ Neville and Ron mouthed, shocked into stillness.

“You really did quit?” The blonde asked taking a step forward. “You don’t have to do that. I knew what I was getting myself into long before you ever joined the police force.”

“I really did.” Harry smiled, walking the few feet up to their boss and lifting him up into his arms. “I was thinking about taking you up on your offer.”

Seamus let out a breathy noise when Malfoy grinned. He almost wanted to slap himself to see if this was real.

“The business is named after us, after all.” Malfoy whispered before resting his face into Harry’s neck. “I could use your help around here. I’m not the best with people.”

Malfoy and Malfoy. They had all assumed that Malfoy must have taken over after his father retired and added the extra Malfoy.

“Alright.” Harry ran his fingers through blonde hair before carrying their boss towards the door. He stopped to address them before leaving.

“I probably won’t be your boss for another few weeks but if you don’t have work to do, I am going to suggest you have an early release. I’m going to take Draco home.”

A stunned silence filled the room as soon as the two men left.

“Married?” Pansy shook her head quickly. “I don’t believe it. Did any of you even know that he was married?”

“I didn’t even know he was gay.” Blaise whispered, blinking rapidly.

Seamus looked at his spreadsheets that needed to be finished and the reports from the people underneath him that needed filing. “Nope, I have no work to do.” He declared before taking off quickly towards the door.

Everyone else shared a look before they too took off after Seamus.

“Ow!” Ron complained when Pansy elbowed him out of the way. “You don’t have to hit so hard.”

----------------------------------------------------

Ron ran into the bookkeeping office and ignored Hermione’s stuffy coworkers. “You are never going to believe who Harry is.”

“Mister Malfoy’s husband of ten years.” She responded, not looking up from a folder of numbers.

“How did you know they were married?” He was rather disgruntled and annoyed that she knew before he did. “Wait, did you say ten years?”

Hermione shook her head before shooting him a fond look. “After you asked me to come up with theories for your weirdly gossipy group, I googled Harry. Their marriage is public record.”

“Oh.” Ron deflated slightly, not wanting to admit how embarrassing it was that they hadn’t even bothered to do a simple internet search.

“Well, Harry is going to take up a position here. Probably be made some kind of CEO or boss.” Ron added, knowing that this had just been discussed upstairs a few minutes ago.

“I figured as much.”

Ron sighed heavily, was there anything his wife didn’t know?

“Do you think much will change around here?” Hermione asked curiously. “From what you said, Harry is a rather nice guy.”

That had Ron humming curiously. “I think a lot of things will change.”

--------------------------------------------------------

“You are never going to guess what I overheard Hannah say.”

The near lunchtime gossip session was underway and Pansy was thankful that it was distracting enough that she wasn’t focusing on her rumbling stomach.

“Come on.” Harry continued when no one said anything. “It involves Nott down in bookkeeping and Lovegood down in the temp office.”

“Tell me.” Blaise demanded, they all knew that he had been lusting after Nott and Lovegood equally for months.

Before Harry could continue, Neville ran into the room. “He’s coming. Smith pissed him off enough that he fired him, he’s not in a good mood.”

It was a scramble for everyone to get to their desks. No one wanted to anger Malfoy off after he fired someone. That was an atmosphere that guaranteed someone else could be on the chopping block.

Harry was halfway towards them when he stopped. “Wait, why am I panicking? I’m the co-owner.”

Pansy snorted but quickly quieted down when Malfoy walked into the room.

“Why do I have a feeling that you all aren’t doing anything?” There was exasperation in his tone but before he could walk over and investigate, Harry stepped forward.

“Hello, love.”

That had Seamus breathing a sigh of relief, he knew that pet names always seemed to get the boss to smile slightly. When Malfoy looked down briefly and his lips quirked up, Seamus shared a high five with Neville.

“You want to head to lunch early?” Harry offered, entwining their hands. “I’m in the mood for Italian.”

“Nice.” Blaise whispered, knowing from Harry that Italian was Malfoy’s favorite. The brunette knew how to appease the blonde in ways that he always found amusing.

“Sounds nice.” Their boss sighed happily, something that still surprised them even months after seeing the changes Harry brought to the usually angry man.

When the two made it to the door, Malfoy told them that they too could head to lunch early. Harry waited until his husband wasn’t looking to send a wink to them.

“Harry is the best thing that has happened to this place.” Seamus sighed in delight before he took off running towards the door.

“No.” Ron warned, side stepping Pansy’s elbow. “You won’t be pushing me today.” He took off after Seamus, leaving behind work that he knew should have been finished before lunch.

“He’s right though.” Blaise entwined his elbow through Pansy’s. “Harry and Malfoy really make for an interesting dynamic.”

“I love my job.” Pansy admitted with a smile as she locked up the door.

-----------------------------------------

Trying to write on the next Simple Acts installment but this has been in my head for a couple days and wouldn't leave.

#Drarry #harry x draco #Worried Draco #Fluff #Cute Harry #Office workspace #pansy parkinson #Ron Weasley #Ronmione #Hermione Granger #seamus finnigan #Neville Longbottom #blaise zabini #CEO Draco

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aros001 · 3 years ago

Text

First time read through light novel vol. 9. Random thoughts.

Oh, neat! I didn't know the Rem and Subaru AU was going to be in this book. I thought it was just a separate sidestory or something extra sold with special editions of the Blu-Rays like the Overlord sidestories. This is good because I was planning on reading it eventually anyway.

[Literally the page right before the interlude]

Well, f**k you too, story.

Sloth, because I cannot wipe away your tears.

Lust, because I want us to melt together and become one.

Gluttony, because I want to consume you, to take all of you for myself.

Greed, because I want to have everything that I love.

Wrath, because I cannot forgive the absurdity of it all.

Pride, because I scorn everything that is not you.

Jealousy, because that is all I feel for the world that embraces you.

Now I'm kind of wondering if Return By Death's purpose is to bring Subaru closer to Satella or if it's a way of keeping them apart. Satella later calls it her and Subaru's place when Petelgeuse dares intrude upon it, so I'd assume it's the former but always just when the two seem to be connecting Subaru is ripped back to the land of the living.

You know, it just occurred to me how passive aggressive sending a blank letter as a declaration of war is.

When Emilia thought about it, she hadn’t seen the girl a single time since returning to the mansion.

“Maybe Beatrice is angry I left Subaru behind...”

Subaru and Beatrice got along rather well, so maybe she was upset.

I have no idea if this is the case or not but it is kind of nice to imagine Beatrice is at least a little upset that Subaru is gone and is intentionally or unintentionally shunning Emilia over it. Not that she and Emilia hung out much to begin with, from what I understand. Outside of Puck, Subaru was the only one to ever actively hang out with her and try to get her to have fun.

“A strange presence in the forest...?”

“Yes. Unpleasant fellows against whom even my Clairvoyance is ineffective.”

There was some really nice set-up for this. It was established all the way back when we first learned about Ram's Clairvoyance ability that it works by letting her "see" through the senses of all the insects and animals within her range. And what did Subaru keep noting almost every time he encountered the Witch Cult? The silence. The lack of noise from any birds or bugs, because everything avoids the Witch Cult if they can. Ram's Clairvoyance can't see the Witch Cult because there's nothing around the cult to see them. That's just a really clever little bit of detail there.

They had already thoroughly examined every concern and misgiving Emilia might have. They persevered, slapping down one doubt after another, until Emilia had no room left to lodge any objections.

This should have been a good thing, but the current Emilia could not help but feel tortured by an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. They had prepared answers to any question she might have, thought through whatever worries she might have, and if she did as she was told, everything would be taken care of through the goodwill of others—

A nice little parallel between Emilia and Subaru, facing a somewhat similar problem of their own powerlessness and needing to rely on others.

It became a ritual. Every day, Emilia would accompany Subaru down to the village and do radio aerobics with the villagers. Emilia was always watching when Subaru gave his stamp of approval with the potato stamps he’d carved himself.

These everyday scenes were the tangible bonds Emilia had formed with the villagers.

I think one of the reasons I had trouble shipping Subaru and Emilia in the anime was because I didn't really see what she got from knowing him aside from him saving her life. Here, being able to see Emilia's thoughts and get a look back at their time together from her POV, it's a lot easier to see. It's like why I ship Subaru and Rem. It's not just that they've saved each other's lives but that they helped each other in very personal ways, and that's something Subaru was doing for Emilia. I can buy why she's upset that he's gone.

So the apparent reason the Witch Cult was after Emilia was to see if she could be a vessel for Satella to be reborn through, and that maybe the reason she died before in a previous loop wasn't just because Subaru had told her about RBD but because she had failed the trial of being a worthy vessel. It feels like a weird twist on the old actual witch trials, where they drowned those accused of being witches. If they lived, then they're a witch. If they died, then they were innocent. Emilia survives the trial she becomes a witch and if she dies then she doesn't. It does make me wonder what the conditions for passing the trial are. First guess would be they have something to do with Subaru. Satella has some kind of infatuation with him so maybe part of it is trying to have Subaru's love through Emilia and Emilia pushing Subaru away was part of why she "failed" the trials.

Even in the anime, I loved how Subaru bested Petelgeuse. It's a trope that's great when it's done well; defeating the bad guy by technically giving them what they wanted (kind of like in Aladdin). "You want to meet the witch so bad? You got it! And everything that goes with it!" Petelgeuse was defeated via being rejected by the girl he liked. And then he goes through a similar stage of denial like Subaru did in his first loop after Emilia dumped him, throwing himself into delusion and thinking he can win back her favor by...continuing to just keep doing what he already was. It's why I love the lines:

It wasn’t worth listening to a word from him. Petelgeuse was just a self- righteous creep indulging in unrequited love.

Wilhelm had said as much—that it was absurd to call this love.

I'm a big superhero fanboy and this is something that comes up a lot. A lot of the best kinds of villains are those that are a reflection of the hero.

Also, did anyone else get kind of a Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? vibe from Petelgeuse during certain parts of this book? An inhuman creature pretending to be a man, his face is not his real face, going crazy and then going on a rampage. "Holy smokes, he's a toon (spirit)!"

When I was reading through the Goblin Slayer light novels, one thing I praised the series for was that everything the story introduced later came back and was put to use. Very little was ever wasted or pointless. Subaru's final battle with Petelgeuse reminds me a lot of that, with Subaru putting to use so much that'd been established prior in the story and through his own experiences. Otto's oil. What happens when you go outside the land dragon's protection against the wind. The gospel and Petelgeuse's own obsession. Even his practice of falling properly during his sword practice with Wilhelm, which Wilhelm himself criticized, proved itself to have its worth, He uses everything at his disposal, everything that he's learned, to pull off a win.

There, where Subaru’s greatest desire was to reach out and offer Emilia his hand, she had turned her back on him. That had to have been a great betrayal.

While I believe Subaru was definitely more at fault for the split between them, I do like how Emilia apparently has been feeling just as guilty as he has been, blaming herself just as much as he blamed himself.

“----- ”

However, Emilia’s reaction was completely different from what Subaru had expected.

Don't you do it.

“Subaru.”

“Yes?”

No.

When Emilia called his name, Subaru looked straight her.

Emilia resolutely faced Subaru’s determined eyes head-on. However, her gaze also contained bewilderment, and Subaru couldn’t understand why.

NO.

"Who's Rem?"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

So, I was actually spoiled a bit before starting the LNs that Rem would be erased from everyone's memories again. I just didn't know when it would happen, or how, and I certainly didn't know it's was something that would have happened at the anime's end if it hadn't be cut out. Is it weird to say that I'm somewhat grateful it happened so soon so that I didn't have to keep anticipating it? If you're gonna punch me in the stomach, just do it and get it over with. Knowing it's coming and not knowing when is much worse. Of course, the story can't let me off that easy, and my exact reaction when the book cut back to Rem on the carriage was "Oh shit! Crusch is there with her!" Somehow I'd managed to avoid the spoiler that she gets attacked along with Rem and gets her memories erased. This series really feels no need to hold back, does it? Two characters it got me to really like and now they're both gone in one way or another. And it's even worse because I like Ferris here more than I did in the anime and now he's basically lost his friend and person he's sworn himself to. A direct comparison is made by Subaru that Ferris has basically lost his Emilia.

On the positive side, this line from Rem:

“Someday a hero shall appear—a hero to destroy you all. However self- serving you are, however much misfortune your self-satisfaction creates, that man, the only hero Rem loves, shall surely bring you what you deserve.”

You're damn right he will! No idea if he actually will but I need hope right now. And, of course, with Emilia by his side to get Rem back.

As I've made no secret, I ship Subaru and Rem, starting with the anime. But obviously I didn't want to go into the LNs with a bias against Emilia, especially since it's not like I disliked her in the anime. And this book especially gave me a lot about her character to get invested in. Her inner thoughts, her feelings of powerlessness and having to adjust to people trying to help her, self-hatred, and all the parallels and similarities between her and Subaru. It really makes Subaru confessing his feelings for her feel like a much more impactful scene. I feel the connection between them much more than I did in the anime and it really feels like something Emilia needed to hear, that she is loved. I really want to see where things go from here. Subaru and Emilia vs. the Witch Cult!

And it was a very good move of Subaru's to give Emilia time to digest his feelings for her and to let her eventually fall in love with him. It's the same as why I don't mind that Subaru didn't immediately return Rem's love when she confessed to him like other Subarem shippers do. Love takes time. Love takes work. I think it shows that Subaru's love for Emilia and Rem's love for him is genuine, that they don't want to just pressure the other into being with them. They want the other to be with them because they love them and they are willing to wait for that time. While the AU section of this book is from a timeline where Subaru and Rem ran away, I don't have trouble believing he did eventually truly fall in love with her after all they've been through and raising a family together. The problem with that timeline I feel would just be the regrets they'd have over leaving behind everyone else they cared about, thus why I think they made the right choice in the main timeline.

I haven't even talked about Beatrice crying for her mother after not even Subaru can help her leave the mansion or Wilhelm's wife maybe being part of the Witch Cult because of his old wound reopening. So much happened in this book!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gzrul3/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_9/

#re:zero #random thoughts #reddit repost

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