#anyway lets pray it settles down back to normal manageable levels of wrist pain

[liquidstar]

my wrist pain is starting to get really bad again, i hope it wont be a longterm issue like it was back in 2020ish. i know how to deal with it better now but that was genuinely a really sucky time bc on top of Everything Else going on i couldnt draw which is just. SAD! and also its annoying bc i literally get so bored when i cant like move my hands

[wasted-headspace-98]

Starved: Part 1

This was requested by @rogueheretic555! Thank you so much for the idea! “Can you write about a reader who doesn't like being touched? Like they dont like being touched by anyone but slowly become more comfortable around din and allow it?”  I got a bit carried away, and instead of a simple oneshot, we got a whole new series out of it  Mando x Reader Rating: T+  Warnings: Mentions of abuse, non con elements, panic attacks, ptsd Masterlist

Metal clinked together as the chains shifted around the room. You barely registered what was happening as your arms were raised above your head, the shackles on your wrist digging into your flesh and hoisting your arms up. Your body was lifted from its slumped position, making you arch your back and raise your head slightly. Your hair fell in your face as you tried to make out the blurry figure of the man approaching you.

You felt your skin crawl as he traced a hand across your rib cage, disgust settling over you.

“You���re getting too thin, pet. Have you not been eating?”

His voice held a tone of disapproval and a surge of fear leapt into your throat. If he got angry with you, there was no telling what the consequences would be.

“No, master,” you said meekly, hanging your head once again. “I can’t keep anything down.” You figured honesty would cause you the least amount of pain. At least, that’s the way it had been in the past.

He hummed and shook his head at you before letting out a sigh. “What am I going to do with you, pet?” He pursed his lips as he thought, his eyes raking over your naked form. You shivered under his scrutinizing gaze. How long had you been here? Days? Weeks? Years?

Time blurred together for you. But, you weren’t alone. For you, that was both a blessing and a curse. You weren’t suffering by yourself, so you had some company. But, the man that had taken you, Kelos, had taken countless other women as well. You wouldn’t wish that torture on anyone, and you felt nothing but shame when you found yourself enjoying the solace brought by the company of the others.

You were thankful, however, that you were his favorite. It meant endless hours of pain, embarrassment, and torture. But at least it meant that none of the other girls were suffering. You had a feeling that you were also the oldest. His attentions never strayed from you for too long, and you were glad that the younger girls were spared from his horrific deeds.

You felt his hand under your chin, lifting your head. You kept your eyes downcast until he told you otherwise, not wanting to anger him further. “Look at me, pet.”

Your eyes slowly swiveled up to face him. You were surprised to find a level of concern in his normally dark features.

“I don’t want you getting sick. You’ll rest for now. I’ve got a tonic I think will help you.”

Your head bobbed up and down slowly, wondering what had gotten into him. You’d been sick before. But he forced you through it, never once stopping to consider what he was doing. It made you wonder what he had up his sleeve. Was he finally going to kill you?

Death was something you would have welcomed a long time ago, something you even prayed for. You began to look forward to the day when he would decide he’d have enough of you and finally slit your throat with the blade he was so fond of using on you.

But now?

There were others that you had to consider. There were other women, children, that were in this hell of a prison. If Kelos decided to kill you, then that would mean his attention would turn to them.

The thought turned your stomach.

“Thank you, Master,” you began, daring to look up at him. “I’ll take the tonic…but I don’t need more rest, if it’s all the same to you.”

Kelos raised an eyebrow as he examined you. His hand came up to rest on your cheek, his eyes softening ever so slightly. That was the first time you had ever openly contradicted him since that first week. You learned early on that his version of a consequence was so much worse than you could have ever imagined. It was easier on you if you went along with what he asked of you. “Very well, pet.”

~*~*~*~

Things continued like that for a while. Kelos was taking the extra time to make sure you were drinking the tonic and eating what you could. He was even allowing you showers more often. He was always present, of course, but you were grateful for that one small change. He’d also been ignoring the other girls for the most part. He would taunt them every so often, tease them as usual, but he was taking better care of them. They had blankets, thin gowns they would wear, and a steady supply of food.

The whole thing made you uneasy. You knew he was a slaver and a trafficker. There were other things he was involved in that were less tasteful, and you shuddered thinking about the times your presence was required during those endeavors.

If you were being honest with yourself, it gave you a small amount of hope.

You were still disgusted with yourself and the life you led. You shook your head thinking about it, realizing that you weren’t even living. You were simply existing. You were watching through a stranger’s eyes as they monotonously went about their tasks. The small amount of comfort you had was in knowing that you were making the other girls’ lives less miserable than they had been. As long as you cooperated with Kelos, things were fine.

But then, things changed.

Kelos was on edge, which meant he was angry. And when he was angry, things were never good. He began neglecting you and the other women. Normally, that would have been a good thing. But he took his aggression out on you. He would leave you sobbing, in pain, and silently begging for death once again. At some point, the other girls began disappearing. You weren’t sure if he had killed them or if he was letting them go.

Either way, you were relieved for them.

No one deserved to live in this hellish nightmare.

You didn’t eat as often as you used to, either. He would go days without remembering to give you food. He viewed you as nothing more than a tool for his pleasure. It left you more and more broken every time. You weren’t sure how much more you could take.

~*~*~*~

It had been several days since you last saw Kelos. You were glad for the reprieve. The last time he had visited you, he left more damage than usual. Your voice was still raspy and your windpipe was still bruised. The cuts on your stomach were beginning to get an infection, and you knew they would only get worse if you couldn’t take care of them.

You were attempting to pull yourself up, leaning against the wall beside the bed to inspect your legs. They’d taken the worst amount of damage. The shackles he used were getting more painful. The last set he had used set several pins into your legs, the metal digging into your flesh to make sure you’d stay in place. It wasn’t like you had much of a choice anyway. You sighed at the sight, quietly shaking your head. You were fairly sure he had fractured your ankle as well, judging by the bruising and swelling.

The door hissed open and you fell back to the floor with a gasp, the sudden motion sending you into a panic. You slipped back to the floor, wincing in pain as you did. Kelos burst into the room, completely ignoring you as he made his way to the back. He was in a hurry about something, and you watched with wide eyes as he started shoving things into a backpack.

He was muttering to himself, but what he was saying, you couldn’t make out. But he was scared. And that scared you.

“Kelos-“ you attempted, your voice weak and scratchy.

“Quiet!” he snarled, whirling around to face you. You promptly scrambled backwards, away from him. “You’re the reason I’m in this mess to start with!”

Your eyes widened as you tried to make yourself as small as possible. What was he talking about? What mess?

“I treated you well!” he snapped, grabbing you and hoisting you up. You tried to wriggle free, but it was no use. He was twice your size and you were completely malnourished. Even if you were at your best, you didn’t think you could have fought him off. “I kept you alive! I kept you from the Reavers! And this is how you repay me?!”

Your mouth opened to let out a scream as he wrapped his hands around your throat. His eyes held murder as he threw you towards the bed. You grunted at the impact and tried to push yourself away from him. He was faster than you and grabbed your injured ankle, making you cry out as he dragged you back towards him. He continued screaming at you as he pinned you to the mattress, his hands once again wrapping around your neck.

As he straddled your hips, pressing you into the mattress, you came to a startling realization. He was going to kill you.

Something stirred within you, something instinctual and primal. You didn’t want to die. You felt a sudden rush of determination flood your system. You knew you were going to fight tooth and nail. After everything your been through, you’d be damned to just give up now.

You gathered what strength you had left and grabbed at his wrists, digging your nails as deep into his skin as you could you had a vice like grip on him, and you could tell that he was surprised at the effort you were using. Ignoring the searing pain in your leg, you managed to struggle to bring your legs around and locked his into place before thrusting your hips upward and throwing your body to the side. He grunted in surprise at the force you used, not thinking you were going to put up much of a fight.

As he rolled off of you, he lost his grip on your throat as he struggled to right himself. You scrambled off the bed and towards the door before realizing your fatal mistake. You screamed in pain as the chain suddenly went taut, digging into and snapping around your already injured ankle. You dropped to the floor and Kelos lunged toward you with a growl.

You cursed yourself for not having picked the lock on the shackle while he was gone. Another scream fell from your lips when Kelos yanked on the chain, dragging you backwards. Your body was already damaged enough, and the sudden burst of adrenaline was quickly fading away. You dug your fingers into anything you could get ahold on, but it wasn’t any use.

“This is it, pet.” Kelos said, pulling a knife and pressing it to your throat once he had pulled you back to him. Feeling the cold metal against your skin made you stop in your tracks. He’d cut you before, so the threat wasn’t anything new. But feeling the blade dig into your throat had you fighting the urge to swallow. “It was fun while it lasted.”

You glared up at him. “Burn on Mustafar, Kelos!” you spat, quite literally, in his face.

He glared down at you, a growl coming from the back of his throat as he dragged the knife slowly across your throat. You winced, but you knew it wasn’t deep enough to cause too much damage. What really scared you was when he sunk the tip into your chest. You let out a howl of pain as he slowly pressed the blade in deeper, bit by bit. You tried to writhe out of his grip, but it was no use. There was a twisted look of pleasure in his face and he continued to drive the knife into you.

He was going to make this take as long as possible. You knew he was one who enjoyed watching the pain of others, and this was no different. It disgusted you the way he pressed his hips down on you, making you painfully aware how much he was enjoying it.

You tried to ignore the sounds he was making, clenching your eyes shut and turning your head to the side. Your mouth opened in a silent scream as tears slid down your face. You just prayed that it would be over soon.

Before you could succumb to the darkness that called your name, your prayer was answered.

The door was flung off its hinges with an explosion, throwing Kelos off of you and making you scream in pain as a piece of burning metal embedded itself in your side. You tried to move out of the way, but it wasn’t any use. All you succeeded in doing was rolling onto your stomach.

“Kelos Jutar-“

You didn’t know whether to be grateful or more terrified. You groggily raised your head, trying to see what was happening. A woman with a gun stalked into the room, her blaster pointed directly at your tormentor. Her companion appeared to be a man dressed in armor with a helmet covering his face. She made a move towards Kelos and the man turned his attention to you, making you flinch.

You curled in on yourself, both in pain and out of instinct. The woman glanced at you, her eyes widening for a moment before she managed to get Kelos on his knees with his hands in cuffs.

“Are you all right?”

Your vision was starting to get blurry. You weren’t sure if you were delirious because of the pain or if you were actually hearing the mans voice. It was soft beneath the harsh tone of the modulator, and that sent a pang of fear through you.

You could tell, even beneath the blank visor he had, that he was looking at you, taking in the injuries and examining your naked form. He said something that sounded like a curse before you dropped your head back to the ground, unable to keep it up any longer.

“Help me...”

You prayed to the Maker that he would answer your plea.

“Cara!” He turned to the woman in question, who was still talking to a hologram. She glanced at him, her eyes widening when they settled on your now unconscious form. “She’s hurt pretty bad. We need to get her out of here.”

~*~*~*~

Swaying. Was that…warmth? You managed to crack your eyes open just slightly, fighting against the pull of the darkness that was ebbing into your head again. Your blurry vision focused long enough to settle on the helmet of the man that had interrupted Kelos. You tried to open your mouth, but you couldn’t get the muscles to work. Was this what death felt like?

Your shifting caused him to look down. “Easy,” he said quietly. “We’ll take care of you. You’re safe now.”

With that quiet affirmation, you drifted back into the realm of unconsciousness.

~*~*~*~

“What happened to her?”

Cara shook her head as she looked over the scans before turning back to the Mandalorian. “There’s too much damage to tell what’s new and what’s old,” she said quietly. She glanced at your limp body that was now covered in light sheets. Your skin was sickly pale and coated in a layer of sweat. “Maker only knows how long he kept her locked up like that.”

Mando growled, the sound primal behind the mask of the modulator. “Chained like an animal, you mean.”

Cara gave him a look, but bit her tongue. Instead, she sighed. “Yes. We’re lucky we found Kelos when we did. There were several bodies found as well. But it looks like she was kept alive the longest.” She nodded to you, her face betraying the emotions she felt. She’d been after the smuggler for several months after she’d gotten a tip that he was trafficking slaves. He operated one of the largest slaver rings in the quadrant, and she was more than happy to get him out of the system. But she cursed herself for taking so long to plan the assault.

The Mandalorian turned back to you, his expression hidden beneath the helmet. He wondered what horrors you had gone through, what had made you survive as long as you did. But now wasn’t the time. He’d agreed to help Cara with a job, and it wasn’t finished. He turned on his heel without a word, the leather covering his hands squeaking quietly as he clenched his fists.

“Where are you going?”

He grunted in response, barely glancing over his shoulder. “To interrogate the prisoner.”

Cara made a move to stop him but thought better of it. She knew first hand that Mando had plenty of different ways to get someone to talk. And if she was being honest, she didn’t trust herself to be in the same room as the smuggler. She would probably kill him on sight. At least Mando would have a little bit of restraint.

~*~*~*~

You bolted upright with a scream, wildly looking around for your tormentor. Your eyes were wide as you scanned the room, looking for the unknown assailant. You knew you weren’t alone.  It was never that easy. He was always there, always lurking in the shadows.

“Hey, hey, easy!”

Your head whipped around to the sound of the voice and you scrambled away from it, howling when you fell off of whatever it was you were laying on.

“Calm down, you’re okay.”

He reached out to you and you immediately screaming again, throwing an arm up to protect your face as you cowered against the wall. His dark eyes were wide with an emotion that you couldn’t place as he reached toward you. “Don’t hurt me!” you begged. “Please!” You heard the door open and you looked over towards it with panic on your face and managed to scramble to your feet. “Help!”

“Hey, what’s going on?!”

You knew that voice. You hadn’t known it for long, but you knew that voice meant safety. You let out a strangled sob as you lunged towards the man in the helmet, reaching for him as the other man tried to catch you. Pain shot through your side and your leg as you stumbled towards him. Acting immediately, he grabbed your arms and helped you stand as you anchored yourself to him, your arms wrapping around him as you sobbed against his chest.

“What did you do to her?” he snapped at the other man, holding you against him. Your legs gave out beneath you and he quietly and gently lowered you to the ground, rubbing his gloved hand over your back as you started to hyperventilate.

“I don’t know!” the other man exclaimed. “She just woke up and started going crazy!”

A quiet growl sounded from the man that was supporting you and that sent another wave of terror crashing over you. “Get out.” Your arms left him and you tried to scramble away, looking at him in panic and terror at hearing the command in his voice. The other man got the hint, quickly skittering out of the room.

“It’s alright,” he said quietly. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Your eyes were wide as you tried to process what he was saying. Your mind was in full panic mode and you couldn’t make yourself focus.

“Hey, look at me,” he said softly, gently reaching for you again. You flinched at the movement and he stopped, just holding his hands about a foot away from you. Seeing that you calmed slightly, he started speaking again. “I’m not going to hurt you, Cyar'ika.” Hearing his gentle voice made you stare at the visor with wide eyes. “But I need you to do something for me,”

Your shoulder shook slightly as you took a dee breath in and nodded quickly.

“Good. Just keep breathing like that. In and out.” He took a deep breath, gesturing slowly for you to do the same. You slowly followed suit, eventually reaching out and wrapping your hand around the gauntlet on his wrist.

“There ya go,” he said, smiling under the helmet at you. “Good job, Cyar’ika.”

You listened to his voice giving you assurances and you gradually calmed. You were still ready to flee at a moments notice, but the man in front of you posed you no immediate danger.

“Can you tell me your name?”

You took a deep breath again and nodded slowly. “Y/N.”

He tilted his head at you. “That’s a beautiful name,” he said. “I’m Din.”

Coming back to reality, you realized what was happening. “Where’s Kelos?” you whispered, eyes pleading with the man in front of you.

“You don’t have to worry about him anymore, Cyar’ika. He’s not going to be able to hurt you.”

You nodded slowly, digesting this new information. “Thank you,” you said quietly. Din inclined his head once again. You could tell that he was burning with questions, and you were thankful that he didn’t throw them at you in a barrage. “I don’t know how long he kept me…”

He shook his head. “Don’t think about that right now.” A breath of relief escaped you. You’d dreamt of freedom for what was probably years. And now that you had it, you didn’t ever want to think about Kelos or what he had done to you ever again. But you knew you were going to have to if they were going to get him the justice he deserved. You almost scoffed at yourself. If you were being honest, the only justice that man deserved was death. Slow and painful at the hands of his prisoners.

Before you could answer him the door opened again, sending your already frazzled nerves over the edge once again. You shrank into Din, pressing yourself against his chest and whimpering quietly.

“It’s alright,” he said gently. “It’s just Cara.”

You looked up at him again and heard footfalls approaching the two of you. Fear gripped your throat so tight you could hardly breathe as you waited for the inevitable attack. But you were surprised to find another woman crouch down beside you and Din.

“Hey,” she said softly.

Relief flooded you as you realized she was the one that had put Kelos in cuffs. Her dark hair fell in waves over one of her shoulders and her eyes were keen as she appraised you. You didn’t know how to answer her, just staring dumbly back.

“When was the last time you ate?” she asked.

You shrugged. It could have been days, it could have been hours. Time blurred together for you, and you honestly didn’t know which way was which.

“Let’s get you up,” Din said, moving his hands to your arms. You turned your attention to him, allowing him to help you to your feet. Once you were firmly on the ground, you quickly detached yourself from him, hugging your arms around your middle. You were happy to find that they had given you some clothes. They felt almost foreign against your skin, but you were glad for the warmth they provided. “I’ll get you some food.”

Panic gripped you again and your eyes went wide. “No,” you gasped, almost reaching for him. “Please don’t leave me.”

You weren’t sure what it was about that man that made you feel safe around him. Maybe it was the fact that the had rescued you. Maybe it was his calm demeanor. Whatever it was, you knew you didn’t want him to leave.

“Okay,” he said, nodding and staying rooted to the spot.

Cara pursed her lips. “I’ll get you something. And a drink too. You’re probably dehydrated.”

“Thank you,” you said softy, casting your eyes down to the floor.

Taglist: @lordofthenerds97 @rogueheretic555  If anyone wants to be added, just let me know! 

[garbagewhump]

The challenge run by @yuckwhump​

A preemptive warning about this series. It is by no means political nor a satirization.  It is not meant to make any statement. The views and representation of any given character do not necessarily reflect the views of the author, nor do I condone the aggressive, vile behavior exhibited. Normally I wouldn’t bother saying this, but because of the terminology and victim selection used by the whumpers and the fact similar ideology exists — though less radical — I feel the need for clarification to avoid any miscommunication.

[first] [next]

Live Feed - Thirst

Warnings specific to this chapter: humiliation, brief description of gory mental image, blood.

Dale desperately wanted to brush his teeth.

His tongue clung to the roof of his mouth, glued there by slime. Even his teeth felt fuzzy and rancid. He kept reminding himself not to lick his split and oozing lips. The brief respite wasn’t worth the increased dehydration as the moisture evaporated. His entire throat felt coated in sandpaper, every hard fought swallow of saliva catching the whole way down

And, God, his head. During the summertime growing up he used to suck on frozen grapes, grateful for the chill in his mouth and the burst of tart liquid on his tongue. Right now, his head felt like a grape about to give way, like any minute it would split open and spill his brains out all over the floor.

His arms had been cuffed behind him since the start and every so often his back and shoulders would spasm, protesting the immobilization, but mostly they had gone numb. What a small mercy. He initially occasionally wondered perhaps if that was stress or the dehydration, but eventually decided it was both. Both accounted for the pain he was in.

He’d long since given up on begging for water. A couple days ago, maybe. Time meant nothing here, even if he had a way of marking the passage. The room was probably an unfinished basement of some sort, and lacking entirely in windows or a clock. And all begging did was set off his captor’s...

Dale very much did not want to call it a sense of humor. It was far too twisted for that, but his captor certainly amused himself.

Speak of the devil himself. 

 “You’re finally awake!” he chirped, as always far too cheery. Most unnervingly, he had one of his arms held behind his back. What was his game here? What was his plan?

A shiver traveled along his twitching back and nestled behind the ever worsening headache.

How in the world had this obviously physically fit 20-some-odd managed to get the drop on him, an out of shape middle aged man?

Oh. That’s how.

God, his head ached. Could heads explode? When the sadistic brat knelt down to his level, Dale fought an instinctual flinch.

He wasn’t machismo poisoned enough to deny he wasn’t afraid. But there was enough there that he balked at the very thought and forced a facade of nonchalance. Keeping his spine straight hurt more, but it was worth it for a shred of dignity.

“So, after a couple days to stew it over...” He idly manhandled Dale’s face with one hand, turning it this way and that. “Holy shit, you’re a dusty old fart. Look at you.”

If he still had saliva to spare, he’d spit right in his face.

“Anyway, I got some yummy water for sale for my thirsty little pet boomer.”

For sale? That was what this was about, money? “Don’t got my card,” he rasped. He’d been aiming for a threatening growl and ended up far left field of that. “I can pay you though, if you let me.”

The kid giggled at him. “Shit, you’re a riot. I accept Venmo here in the 21st century. So you don’t have to, like, fax over the bills or request a money order or whatever outdated shit you were planning.”

Dale screwed his eyes shut. They burned and ached but he found minuscule comfort there. His tormentor released his grip on his jaw and stepped back. 

Something metal clattered to the ground. He jumped and winced as pain shot up his spine.

“Now that got your attention!” The man sneered and nudged an empty dog bowl toward him.

Not daring to breathe, Dale very carefully kept his gaze on the other man rather than the bowl or the tempting, dewy-sided bottle of water in his hand. The desire that ran through him was like deep throating a hot poker all the same.

“Admit that you fucked the environment,” he ordered.

Wait. What. “What?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

Dale tried shifting positions, to alleviate the pressure on his ankles, rather than answer him.

The man continued anyway. “Your generation fucked housing, the economy, the environment, and you have the fucking gall to blame my generation for destroying industries.” He grabbed Dale’s face before he could jerk away. “Isn’t that just a little fucked up?”

He needed that water. Now that it was within reach, every breath burned and scratched up and down his throat, and if that’s all that water cost? “We messed up,” he grunted. Each word tore up his throat and stumbled over his sandpaper tongue.

Slowly, too damn slowly, the other man started to untwist the cap. “Well? Go on.”

“We’re bigoted, obstinate, ignorant.” Very carefully preserving his pride, he did not focus on the fact his voice kept cracking without any liquid to soothe his throat. “We are incumbent in lucrative positions and resist turnover and change.”

Another turn.

“Our college education cost a fraction of yours.”

Another.

“Our McMansions were bought low and sell high.”

“Gosh,” he gasped, “this old technology is so hard for me to understand! This might take a while. I can’t seem to find where to click.”

He grit his jaw before continuing, “We demand respect from everyone.”

Yet again. He wasn’t even gripping the cap at this point.

“We ignore the opinions of those younger due to inflated pride culminated over years.”

The younger man smirked, luxuriating in his degradation. “And what are you?” he asked.

“What?”

“Keep up, Dale! You are a boomer.”

He wasn’t. Not technically. He wasn’t about to correct him though. “I’m a boomer,” Dale agreed. At this point he would agree to nearly anything for that water, and he just hoped and prayed the other man hadn’t noticed his desperation.

“There!” His captor finally snapped the seal on the water. Dale had never heard a more beautiful sound. “Boomer can have little a water....”

His gaze locked on the water, he carefully watched every drop pour into that demeaning dog bowl. His whole body burned with the anticipation now that it was so close at hand.

“As a treat.”

All sixteen ounces of water in that bowl. If he had the hydration left in his body, he would probably have started to salivate by now. Relief was so close. All he needed was the binds on his wrists released and he could gulp down that sweet, sweet water.

The menace smiled at him and chef kissed like it was a decadent meal, not life giving liquid. He said, “Bone app the teeth.”

What the what? Forget it, he was too thirsty to care about dignity, let alone whatever nonsense this freak was spewing. Shoving his face into the bowl, he sucked up water, drenching his split lips in the moisture.

Cool, sweet relief flowed over that arid, stinking abscess that had replaced his mouth. Chill water settled in his hollow stomach, reminding him he hadn’t been fed either, but sweet, sweet relief was more pressing

The water level began to lower as he drank, but he just shoved his face deeper into the bowl. The cold metal was almost pleasant, chill along his brow.

“Let me help you there,” was all the warning he got.

The pain exploded in the back of his skull, neck, face. Blood tinged the water. Salt burned his lips and his nose felt like a tennis ball was crammed behind it. His eyes stung and watered.

Dale bucked and twisted and jerked and threw himself away from the other man, out from under his boot, wrists twinging painfully as he fell on them. Blood continued to ooze down his lips.

His captor’s deranged laughter echoed in his ears. “I’ll let you stew a little longer,” he said as he left.

When the door clicked shut and locked, when he heard the footsteps fade away and leave him in silence, he turned his head away and ignored the water dripping down his face. It was just water, anyway.

[polandspringz]

17. "Am I going to die?" With Cammie and best sibling Val/entina?

“Say, Valentina…”

Blood ran cold inside their body as the soft hand came up to their face, missing a few times before finding their cheek and settling on it, fingers tracing towards her lips like spider crawling across. Her body was so warm, it was usually too warm, so why was the skin pressed against their face turning icey so quickly.

“Dr. Jha,” Valentina dared not look down, fearful of what they would do if they saw the child’s green eyes stricken with fear but glazing over, if the sensation running over their numb hand would turn wet and hot, “Why isn’t the Re-Gen working?”

“It’s the nanotech, it’s interfering-”

“I thought we had the code to block it? Cammie-”

The girl in question coughed just as Valentina barked out their words. Normally Valentina would have no problem scolding the girl to her face, but they couldn’t look at them. They kept their gaze locked on the floor behind and above her head, there was blood matted in her hair, they switched to looking towards the Re-Gen machine where Dr. Jha’s feet were, they could see the twitching muscles from Cammie’s torn up arm spasming-

“Valentina…” Cammie tried through her hacking, her lungs struggling to suck in air as the vaporized nanotech had drilled its way through them and then vanished, “It was a new type… I wasn’t in the Holon so I couldn’t decipher it as quickly as last time-”

“Shut up!” They practically screamed down at her, but they wouldn’t look, they refused to look. This couldn’t be happening.

“We can get her onto life support quickly if we put her brain in the Holon. It’s the safest way to keep her alive while figuring out how to remove the nano.” Dr. Jha turned to face them as she signaled for the rest of her team to come in and extract Cammie from Valentina. Hands came up and hers slipped away, and suddenly Valentina could see her. She could see all the damage that had been done while they were fighting the battle, leaving Cammie alone with Caliban in the airship, unprepared and defenseless for the nanotech that had flanked the ship while they were kilometers away on the ground defending another base or some holding line that didn’t even matter anymore to Valentina.

When they heard the screams coming through their feed, Valentina had raced back to the ship, ready to blow the whole thing open when her blood curdling cries had grown in intensity. But they saw Cammie had run out of the ship and dragged the nanotech with her, sacrificing herself to keep it away from their bodies resting inside. Valentina had wanted to go after her right away, but through her shrieks, she told them to stay back, and Yasamin and Chase had to hold Kazu and them still as they watched Cammie continue to race away from the cloud. Her sprint eventually fell into a limp until Valentina was about ready to strangle all the other Pilots in the mindframe to chase after the girl, but when the girl collapsed and the cloud seemed to overtake her, small wave of green light then shot out over the area, stopping a few ways before them. The Holons were unharmed, but the sickening realization dawned on Valentina as they watched the nanotech explode into the air and Cammie collapse into the dirt. As they raced to her, all connection to her was gone. All the gadgets she wore, all the feeds and displays, they were vanished. Valentina couldn’t get through to a single one.

They had rushed back to RTASA, Valentina abandoning their Holon as they dashed into the main lab with Cammie limp in their arms. Now, as she was pulled away from them, they could see their eyes were shut, and blood was leaking down where tears should’ve been. The computerized contacts had exploded. Valentina covered their mouth and tried not to gasp.

“Where am I going? Where did Valentina… Where’s Kazoo? Yaz? Chase?!” Camme was thrashing about, screaming as her one good arm flailed about, hitting the scientists as they rushed to get her on a stretcher and back to where the ESU had been set up in the building. Valentina jumped to their feet when they saw Cammie’s hand pause on someone’s face again, realization dawning on them once more as they took in the mangled state of Cammie’s bunny ears.

“We’ll get her uploaded as fast as possible- Valentina!” Dr. Jha reached out after as they shoved the doctors out of the way, grabbing the good hand and pressing the fingers to their lips as they spoke as slowly and clearly as they could.

“It’s Valentina. We are going to upload you. I will meet you in the mindframe.”

Valentina was shoved out of the way but followed on their heels to the pods, yelling at them to be gentle as they rushed to get Cammie inside. Valentina sent the order to Caliban to start the upload, and even though the suit was likely fried too, they prayed that Cammie would still be able to connect. They wanted to wait to see the symbols on the display turn to gen:LOCK, but Yasamin appeared behind and urged them inside.

“You’re going to meet her right? Don’t leave her scared and frightened. I’ll manage things here.”

Valentina could hardly nod as Yasamin pushed them into the pod, everything around them feeling dazed and hazy as their adrenaline seemed to keep spiking but with nothing new to react to or fight. The next thing they knew, the pod was sealing closed above them, and they were dropped into the darkness.

“Valentina? Valentina, please-!”

Val opened their eyes and saw Cammie’s figure on the floor, almost pinned down as they searched for others in the imaginary space. They swam towards her, extending a hand out.

“Cammie!”

It was such a blessing to see the girl with her eyes open, her body not bleeding, broken in half, and eaten away at several areas by the bombs and little virus that had tried to invade her. Val swore that when they finally found the creator of those things, they were going to-

“Val, I…  my body I can’t…”

Their eyes widened as they realized her words, pulling their hand back as they floated down to touch down beside her. Very quickly, they knelt down, and pulled the girl into their lap like they had done on the floor of the Re-Gen machine.

“Your body will be fine. Dr. Jha will figure out how to fix it. We will get you back in it in no time.”

“Don’t lie to me,” the girl whispered as Val propped them up against their arm, allowing the girl to sit up, “I felt it happening. I was getting the EMP out but then my other arm was going and then it was inside me and I was trying so hard and-”

“Hush, little bunny.” Val adjusted their hold and embraced Cammie in a tight hug, lifting her off the ground so they both could float in the colorful space.

“I’m guessing I’m paralyzed in here until I get a new suit,” she joked, and Val tried to smile, but Cammie seemed pained when they saw it, and looked away. Val reached out and tried to turn her head back to face them.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Val focusing on keeping them afloat in the watery void, while also maintaining on a much quieter level their fear and bubbling thoughts. They refused to let any of their fears to reach Cammie. Then, Dr. Jha’s voice cut through the mindframe:

“Valentina, we successfully uploaded Cammie. We will be removing her body now.”

“Val, you were already uploaded for so long. You must be close to burning through uptime. You don’t… You don’t have to stay-”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Listen, you need me here, and I don’t want to have to go back out there and deal with Kazu, Yasamin, and Chase bugging me about-”

“Val,” Cammie talked over Val, taking a deep breath of nothing as she prepared herself not to cry, “Am I going to die?”

She hated herself when she saw the emotions that slapped across Val’s face. She was tormenting them with the question, but she needed to know the truth.

“Camme, what are you-”

“They’re moving my body out of the pod. I think they did it as soon as you got in, which was why I couldn’t move.”

“No, Cammie, they’re just going to try and remove the nanotech and then put you in the Re-Gen again-”

“So we already tried to Re-Gen once? So that was what was going on when you were yelling about the nanotech.”

She laughed, but it was dry and cracked, her voice going quiet at the end and her eyes casting down as she let Val guide their hands together so that Cammie was holding them. She couldn’t move her muscles, and if Val left, she would certainly just float to the bottom of this expanse, waiting until the next person uploaded to speak with her. She glanced over, catching a blue light flickering in the distance. She blinked it over.

“Val, you need to go.”

“Cammie, no, I won’t leave you alone here-”

“I’m not going to be alone. It’ll be fine, and besides, once you guys build me a new suit, I’ll be back to my usual self! I can decode the nanotech much easier in here anyway!”

She cocked her head and gave Val her best smile, only being able to move from the neck up did not give her as much expression as she would’ve liked to have, especially not without her bunny ears flicking about. She saw a yellow and a red light dance about closer. She blinked at them too.

Val thought that they had left behind tears when they joined up the resistance. They had seen bodies of friends, held lovers and family members alike as they bleed out in their arms, but for some reason, holding Cammie here, supporting Cammie like this as they drifted, something became unhinged.

Then another set of hands were coming up and helping Cammie push Val back, and then two more were yanking them away, separating the green and purple pilots as they drifted away from one another. Val was dragged to the surface, and Cammie was floating down, Chase’s hand curled around her wrists as they both reached towards where they had pushed Val, Cammie hands and fingers extended as if giving her the option to swim back down and take ahold of them.

“It’s okay, I’ll be okay.”

“Cammie, Cammie, no- both of you, get off of me!” They jerked about in Yasamin and Kazu’s hold, and Kazu had to swim around and wrap their arm around Valentina’s neck to get them to stop resisting.

“Goodbye, Val.” Cammie beamed just as Val reached the surface.

When Dr. Jha came by to alert them that they weren’t able to re-generate Cammie’s body, and her vital organs had collapse, Valentina thought the nanotech must have fried their brain too. Nothing, colors, shapes, words, nothing made sense anymore.

Yasamin and Kazu both put a hand around the distraught pilot, trying to offer words of comfort. It didn’t help.

“You’ll still be able to see her hologram, and talk to her in the mindframe,” Yasamin tried, “I’ve already been doing it for years with Chase-”

Valentina shoved both pilots away, and stormed off. RTASA was gigantic, smaller than the Anvil, but still too damn big, and Valentina just wanted to be back in Europe or the Ether, compressed between people on a small club dancefloor, with their mind cloudy for a different reason.

Instead, Valentina found a dark corner behind some robot, an artificial crawl space that would keep them hidden long enough that no one would bother them. They pulled the hood of their cloak over their head and ducked behind the green and white digitigrade legs and slumped down.

As the hours passed, Valentina’s voice got more and more raw, but they knew they could close the dam, not now, not yet. It wouldn’t close until Cammie came running through that door with Nugget on her shoulder or her rabbit ears twitching or her arms spread wide as she yelled about something new she had uncovered with the Doc’s brain in Caliban. At least it felt that way, but even Valentina knew that by the time Kazu or Yasamin came to drag them out of this spot too, that their tears would have long since dried up, and they would be left with only an itchy face and a sore throat to show for it. They never had been that loud of a crier either, but every hiccup, every suppressed sob that shook their body sent them another wave of cramps and spasms from their abdomen as they deprived their body of air.

Valentina was drowning, and they wouldn’t stop until Cammie broke through the surface.

[shinichirosbabymama]

(Donald Pierce x Reader)

A/N: SO I went to see Logan yesterday and it was sick so I thought I’d write a little Donald Pierce x Reader thang. I can see some serious potential for a part 2 so let me know what y’all think. This contains some major spoilers for Logan and mentions of violence. Enjoy!

Your feet clicked against the stone floor as you entered your kitchen. You'd done this every day for the last four years but today something was different. The plates inside of the cupboard began to rattle as soon as you entered and you gripped the kitchen surface to steady yourself. 

They escaped. They're free. 

You breathed rapidly trying to still the surge of emotion building inside you. You'd never felt so conflicted - you couldn't deny that you were glad the children were finally free but by doing so you had betrayed the person that you loved. 

But how could you ever love him? He was a monster. 

The tempestuous feelings inside you built to such a level that the lights around the room began to flicker. The sounds of kettle rapidly switching on and off filled your ears as the currents surged from your body into the kitchen around you. 

You felt as thought you were about to explode when you suddenly heard the front door slam. You stopped instantly - only at the result of decades of schooling yourself to react automatically to company - and the cutlery draw crashed loudly onto the floor.  

'Baby?' You heard a thick southern accent drawl from nearby as you released the kitchen counter from your grip and stood stock still. 

Donald appeared before you a moment later. His sunglasses hung loosely in his hand as he squinted at you in the dim light of the kitchen. The fuse must have blown again. 

'Darlin' are you okay?'

Donald pressed his flesh hand to your cheek, face automatically tightening in concern when he felt how cold and clammy the skin felt underneath. Your little episode had weakened you significantly and constantly suppressing your abilities only allowed you to use them in short bursts anyway. 

'What happened in here?' Donald gestured towards the floor and for the first time you noticed  cutlery was scattered everywhere from where the draw had fallen. 

'I-I stumbled and pulled it out.' You murmured avoiding his gaze as he studied your face. Seemingly satisfied with your explanation, Donald led you to front room where he help you sit down on the sofa. You instantly flopped down onto your back as he briefly left the room before reappearing with a damp flannel which you were secretly grateful for as a headache began to blossom over your brow. 

'I-I think I'm sick.' You mumbled again as you scrunched your eyes shut trying to block out the pain. 

'Shh just lie back. I got you.' Donald spoke softly as he dabbed your brow with the cloth. His metal hand rested on your wrist and you tried to resist springing away from him. You were too uncontrolled right now and you didn't trust yourself. One wrong move and you could kill him. 

'I'll take you to get checked out. No offence baby but you look like hell.' You knew that Donald's faux-teasing voice was laced with worry underneath. 

'No! No - really. I'll be fine. I just need rest.' You steadied your voice as you lay back, keeping your gaze fixed on the ceiling above you. 

'That's my girl. Always stubborn.' Donald chided gently, his hand still resting on your wrist - probably as a subtle way to measure your pulse. Slowly you could feel yourself starting to regain your strength as you focused on emptying your mind of all the feelings that had crowded you earlier. 

'I hate to leave you doll, really - but something's happened.' 

You knew damn well what had happened but Donald didn't know that. So you schooled your voice into one of concern as you as you attempted to pry the truth from him. 

'What is it?' 

'Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. I'll have some of the boys set up outside to listen out in case you need me.' 

Great. You thought, knowing full well that it would be highly suspect of you to refuse his protection. 

'Okay love.' You heard yourself saying, offering him a smile that you silently prayed would appear convincing. Donald seemed satisfied (or distracted) as he leaned forward and kissed you. 

After he left you finally allowed your muscles to relax. You could still feel tiny shocks and static in your fingertips but the worst of it was over. You had never been proud of your so-called powers. In fact they were little more than a curse. You'd been born with the ability to control different energies around you. On the surface it appeared like an incredible gift but it had in fact brought you nothing but anguish. 

You remembered the first time your power had resulted in a death. You glanced down and stared at your hands, the same hands that had tightly gripped at the limp kitten in your arms when you were five years old. You could recall the static sensation of its singed hair on your skin. You didn't mean to kill it you just didn't know how to control yourself yet. 

Your parents were not like you -they said you were evil. You father had shook you so violently when he saw that you'd killed the kitten that you panicked and shocked him. As his limp body fell to the floor your mother began to scream, so loudly that it hurt your ears so you silenced her with a single jolt from your fingertips. 

After that you were alone. You were smart enough to know that your home wasn't home anymore. You spent years traversing the country - trying to stay out of trouble and avoiding the authorities who were desperately searching for a missing child, presumed dead. 

You fled to Mexico when you were 17, a place where there were far less questions about where you'd come from. But you were still lost, drifting from one job to the next one that didn't require a form of ID as you tried to keep the food in your belly. 

Your ability to control the energy around you was very much a two-way relationship. You naturally found yourself drawn to the cities buzzing with lights and people. You spent three years making your way around Mexico before finally settling in the capital. 

Transigen had captured your attention immediately. The amount of energy spilling from the walls of that place piqued your curiosity and you attempted to investigate what was happening inside, but to no avail. Security was far too tight. The only possible in for you was through employment. And for that you needed a verifiable background. 

So you bided your time. You worked night and day until you'd saved enough money to pay a man to create you a birth certificate and passport. You were now Y/N Y/L/N. You spent hours schooling yourself into the perfect Transigen employee - hardworking, intelligent but also obedient and loyal. You practiced suppressing your powers, reacting to every possible surprise or eventuality. You vowed never to kill anyone again. 

You paid the man extra just to throw in a few relevant medical qualifications, confident that you'd be able to learn as you worked, and before you knew it you'd landed the job. 

You kept a low profile for the first few months of your employment. You were mostly constrained to admin work and knew for the fact that not a single person in there trusted you yet. Slowly you gained the trust of your superiors and were gradually allowed into the lab. 

For a long time you couldn't understand why the children were being kept like this. A cancer study seemed unlikely and your suspicions continued to grow. It wasn't until one day when they attempted to restrain one boy who then decapitated the nurse stood next to you did you realise that these were not normal children.  

That day did not stick in your memory for that reason alone - it was also the day you met Donald Pierce. 

The moment he entered the room you had to suppress your abilities harder than you'd ever tried in your life. It didn't help that he walked right up to, feet splashing in the blood that covered the hospital floor and brought his face right up to yours. 

'Ya hurt?' 

His blue eyes bored into yours as he spoke, his thick southern accent clouding any emotion that might have once been present in his voice like smoke. 

'No.' Was all you managed in a tight voice, unable to tear your gaze away from his. Donald had stared at you a few seconds longer and for a moment you were sure he knew your secret. But after what felt like a millennium he stepped back. 

'Good. Don't tell anyone about this.' He murmured roughly before leaving the room. 

You didn't know it at the time but that was the beginning of the two of you. Everyone at Transigen thought Donald was the devil incarnate but you could almost see a warped logic to his thinking. You didn't want more to die because of people like you. But you never, ever, condoned the abuse and neglect that the children received. 

Every day that you worked there was another day where Donald cemented himself in your brain. You loathed yourself for being so hypnotised by his eyes and the way that the sound of his voice made your head swim. These feelings were completely alien to you and yet that didn't stop you welcoming Donald's invasion into your personal space, lips twisting into a half smile and revealing that ridiculous gold tooth when he studied you. 

'You're a smart girl - in fact, I think you're dangerous.' Donald drawled one night as you were cleaning up the lab at the end of the day. The words made your blood run cold as your mind began to conjure the idea that he knew. But he simply laughed in the end and brushed your shoulder lightly as he left.  

It was difficult to piece together exactly how you'd arrived at your current destination. You and Donald had now been living together for four years. Four years. The fact was unbelievable even to your own ears but despite everything he showed you love that no one else had. You'd never been welcomed into a home to call your own before, never been held or never even been considered by anyone else until you met him. The last four years had been a conflict for you - how do you convince the man you love to give up his lifelong mission?  

The sound of the front door clicking shut startled you out of your reverie. Several hours had passed since Donald had last left and you found yourself buried under the sheets of your bed now, not realising you'd been lost in thought for so long. All was good, for now, and the energy both in you and around you felt relatively lax. 

You feigned sleep as you listened to Donald climb the stairs and enter the bedroom. He groaned in exhaustion as he undressed, his coat and jeans landing on the floor heavily as he stripped carelessly. 

He climbed into bed next to you and you tensed at the sensation of his cold arms as they wrapped around you. The sensation of his facial hair rough against your neck relaxed you a little - despite everything, you felt at home here when it was quiet. Donald relaxed next to you but you knew he was wide awake. 

'Everything okay?' You whispered into the darkness as you intertwined your fingers with his. 

'The kids are gone. I don't know how but they fuckin' are.' 

His metal hand tightened around yours to the point of pain and you stroked his arm in response, hoping to calm him. 

'You'll get them back.' 

'How do you know?' Donald hissed and you tensed your jaw in response as you resisted the urge to snap back. Maybe you shouldn't have been fucking holding them there in the first place. He didn't scare you in the slightest but he could be difficult. 

Instead you tried a different tactic. You rolled over and pulled his nude body close to yours, your lips moving over his neck as he hummed in response. 'Because you're better than they are.' 

Donald's breath caught in his throat as his metal hand moved up to grip your hair as he kissed you. 

'Damn right.' 

You moved away briefly to take in the sight of him before surging forward and kissing him hungrily. Like your life depended on it. Donald made a noise of surprise but responded in kind. For all you knew this could be the last time. You could no longer sit idly by knowing what was happening.

It was time to act.