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mrs-march-ahs · 4 years ago

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Kai Uses You As The Cult Training Dummy

Summary- Kai teaches Samuels and Harrison how to use a woman for their own sexual pleasure, and lets them practice on the reader, as their training dummy.

Warnings- Non con, bondage, implied drugging, rope, double penetration, anal, a slutty reader who likes anal without prep, threesome, sexual punishment, belting, spanking, abusive relationship, Kai Anderson.

Words- 4k

I mixed some Requests, this one covers:

Can you do a full Kai smut were he lets the cult members ‘use’ the fem reader? Love you. Yes! Love you too<3

I LOVE UR KAI FICScan u do a fic we’re Kai carves ‘slut’ into the readers stomach! Ooo also fem reader and the readers not into it!’ Great idea!

Hiii, Can you do a Kai Anderson imagine where he does a threesome with his girlfriend but he get pretty jealous 🤓 Yes girl! Sorry for the wait!

This one is hardcore! Don’t read unless you’re 18 and a complete simp for Kai Anderson! No, I do not take constructive criticism! Enjoy:)

Your eyes slowly open and you flicker them around the room, trying to figure out where you were. Only what feels like a few minutes ago, you were falling asleep happily cuddled to your boyfriend, and now you were in his basement, feeling slightly drowsy. You attempt to move your arms but tight rope around them restrains your every movement. You wriggle your whole body like a fish out of water but the knots all around your body rub against your soft skin and burn you. Trying not to panic, you look down at your body and notice the pink rope holding you in a hogtied state. Your arms were uncomfortably crossed behind your back, and your legs were bent at the sides of your stomach, completely held in place, showing off your bare pussy. Though the position was far from comfortable, you didn’t even know how much your body was about to go through. The absence of anybody else in the room fills you with worry and you try to scream out for help, but instead drool around the gag in your mouth. Your indecipherable noises are soon covered up by the sound of heavy boots walking down the stairs. You stop moving immediately and stay silent, hoping that Kai is coming to clear things up. The sound of footsteps from behind you get closer and louder as men approach you. But instead of Kai, you are greeted with Harrison and Samuels walking towards the end of the bed, and standing there casually. Soon enough, Kai joins them, incoming from the right side of the bed and standing at the end, continuing their conversation. You are flushed with embarrassment of being tied up in front of the other members of the Cult and you maniacally wriggle around the bed, hoping to catch their attention. But they continue to ignore you, Kai lecturing them and the two sheep carefully listening.

“As I’ve explained to both of you, energies between men are equal. If you’re going to have sex with a woman, you have to accept the energy drain, and regain the power they want to suck out of you”, Kai tells them, pretending to not even see you. “The best way to get power over a woman, is to give her what she wants, but under your circumstances, I’ll show you”. Harrison and Samuels nod and hum in approvement and suddenly, all three men look down at you. Their intimidating stature over your vulnerable body brings tears to your eyes. Though being ignored was bad, being the key focus to their game was much worse.

Kai slowly walks over to you and kneels on the bed. He looks you in the eyes and explains your purpose.

“I’m gonna teach the boys how to properly please a woman”.

He leans closer to you, and whispers to you, “And since you’re such an obedient girl”, making the other two men smile.

Kai looks over your body and slides his finger across the ropes on your chest before barking in your ear. “You’re going to be our training dummy”.

You look at him in disbelief and try to sit up off the bed, but the weight distribution and the tight ropes preventing you from doing so. Kai smirks at your helplessness and stands back up next to the guys. He clears his throat and looks at your pussy, before putting on his classic ‘leader’ tone of voice and motioning down to your exposed, naked body.

“First, you gotta slap the pussy a few times, to make sure it’s ready”. You look at Kai and nervously wait for him to do so, but instead, Harrison kneels on the edge of the bed, and puts his hand on your leg. Your entire body tenses and burns at the idea of other men touching you, especially in front of your boyfriend. You look at Harrison with a pleading look, but that encourages him to follow the master’s instructions. He looks at your pussy and closely inspects it, making you close your eyes in embarrassment. But the quick slaps on your pussy quickly wake you up and make you look up at the men, all smirking. Even without being told to, Samuels sits at the end of the bed and takes his turn slapping your pussy, but keeps his hard rigid, making the contact much harsher than Harrison’s. He gives you rhythmic slaps, making your legs twitch every time. When they’re satisfied with your response, they both look up at Kai, waiting for their next instruction. Kai remains stood at the end of the bed, watching you closely. His eyes focus more on you and how you take the slapping than the men doing it. He watches with his arms crossed and his hand in a loose first on his lips. When the lost puppies look up at him, he looks down at you and gives them the next step.

“Put a finger in, middle one”.

Samuels spits on his finger before putting it close to your entrance, but Kai hums in disapproval.

“Uh huh, let the bitch in front of you do all the dirty work”.

Samuels looks at you, and uses his finger to sweep up some saliva you drooled around the gag. You quickly try to turn your head away from him, but he manages to get some anyway, and he moves his hand from your face down to between your legs, some of your mixed spit dripping on your stomach. He lines up his finger with your entrance again, before looking up at Kai for quick approval. When Kai nods a single time, you are filled with terror and try to get away from Samuels hand on your leg, making him hesitate. Kai looks down at you, displeased, and simply states.

“This finger can go in other holes too”. The harsh and manipulative words instantly make you freeze, giving Samuels the gateway to pushing his whole middle finger inside you. His cold hands make you flinch slightly and makes your pussy clench unintentionally. Soon, you once again begin wriggling around the bed, hoping to escape his touch. Though both men in training were gay, the sight of you bound and whimpering pleased them both, making Harrison palm himself through his underwear. Samuels bites his lip at the feeling of being inside you and pulls his finger in and out a few times. Kai holds his arm to stop him, and kneels on the bed next to him, to show him what to do.

Kai puts up two fingers, and curls and straightens them repeatedly. Samuels adds another finger to you, and curls up in your pussy.

“You have to keep curling them and try to find the spot”.

Samuels furrows his eyebrows in concentration, and curls his long fingers inside you, digging around, clearly looking for an ‘on’ switch. He pushes his fingers in deeper and curls them harder, hoping to feel something specific.

“Am I doing it?”, Samuels whispers to Kai.

“Keep going, you’ll know”.

Samuels tightens his grip on your leg and curls his fingers vigorously, making the veins and muscles in his whole arm move. Suddenly, when Samuels’ fingers push roughly against your g-spot, you involuntarily twitch your legs and close your eyes. Samuels notices, and continues to finger bang the same sweet spot. You throw your head back and try your hardest to move your legs, desperate to close them. Samuels cocky smile fades but he continues working inside you, while Harrison, who’s closely watching, palming his hardening cock through his jeans, speaks up.

“I don’t think she likes it”, making Samuels nod in agreement.

Kai huffs and smirks down at you. “The pleasure is overwhelming her; she’s trying to get away because she can’t handle it”. You look at Kai with a pleading look, and continue flailing your whole body as best as you can, Samuels’ fingers rubbing against your g-spot harshly, the pleasure bordering pain. Kai looks at your pathetic expression and mockingly coos. “I’ll help you, darling”. Kai places his large hands on your abdomen and your other leg, spreading them as far as the rope allows, to allow Samuels to work on you. Though your heart and mind are aching to escape the situation, your pussy burns and drips all over his hand and bed. Kai watches you closely, and noticing the focused expression on your face, puts his hand on Samuels’ arm. When you whimper loudly and tightly shut your eyes, Kai pulls Samuels’ hand away, to prevent you from orgasming. You exhale deeply and try to catch your breath, which is difficult with the gag filling your mouth.

Not giving you time to recover, Samuels kneels up on the bed and keeps strict eye contact with you, undoing his belt. Your eyes widen and you look at Kai, furiously shaking your head and trying to close your legs, to no use. As Samuels undresses, Harrison slides his finger up your tingling slit and collects some wetness, making you shiver. He takes his own cock out and uses your release as lube, stroking himself, enjoying the view of your rigid body being fucked. Samuels gets close to your pussy, and pumps himself, looking down at you. Despite your whimpering protests, he thrusts his whole cock in, and puts his hands down on your tits. The quick thrust and cold touch makes you whine. He kneads them and squeezes them harshly, clearly having never touched a boob before. His rough touch makes your skin rub against the rope, burning it and leaving marks. After a few seconds of attacking your tits, he begins to thrust hard in and out of your dripping heat. Within a few movements, you relax and lay your head back gently, accepting your fate, grateful that his cock isn’t half as big as Kai’s. You tilt your head and look over at Kai, who watches, but unlike Harrison, who is now stroking himself silly, completely ignores his raging hard on. Kai suddenly jumps up on the bed next to you, and you continue to watch him until he puts his rough hands on the sides of your head. He turns your head to look straight forward, making you regain eye contact with the blond man stiffly fucking you.

“You gotta look her deep in the eye, tell her she’s your whore, bitches love that”, Kai says seductively, eager to hear Samuels talk dirty to you. But when he hesitates, mostly focused on how good your tight, clenching pussy feels, Kai looks at you. “Don’t they?”. The rhetorical question makes you whine loudly, all your pleas muffled by the damned gag. Harrison looks at Kai, who’s smirking at your noises, and asks, “Is that a yes? I can’t even tell-”. Kai looks up at Harrison with a serious expression, and widens his eyes as he talks. “It can be whatever you want it to be”.

Samuels dirty grunts and moans get louder, catching the attention of everybody else in the room. Kai smiles at him, and Samuels clenches his jaw. His grip on your tits gets even harder and his thrusts get sloppier.

“Can I cum inside her?”, Samuels asks through his gritted teeth. Kai turns your head to look at himself, and holds it tightly so you can’t move. “You want him to fill up that dirty pussy?”, he asks, annunciating his T’s and S’s so hard that he spits on you slightly. You desperately and repeatedly whine and whimper ‘No’ as best as you can, and Kai huffs and looks at Harrison.

“Sounds like she’s practically begging to be filled up, don’t you think?”, he asks. Harrison smirks and nods, touching himself faster. Within a few thrusts, Samuels throws his head back and releases in you.

“Fuuuuuuuuck”, he moans, rapidly thrusting in and out of you. Kai smiles at him proudly and gives him a single pat on the back. After a few more thrusts, he grabs the base of his cock and pulls out, before slapping it a few times on your clit, making you twitch. He stands back and strokes himself, hoping to stay hard for a little longer. You try to catch your breath after being railed, and you and Kai both look over at Harrison. You, with a begging silent plea to leave you alone, and Kai with a stern and dominant expression.

“Remember, she is only here as a toy for you. She will suck your energy out, so chose how you let her do it”. Harrison listens closely to his words, but wants to be reassured.

“Yeah yeah for sure… but like should I do the same as Sa-”

“Go to town, Harrison”. Kai interrupts, and looks at him. He gives him a nod of support and Harrison looks at you. You close your eyes, not prepared for more torture, but silently at least hoping that this time you can finish, after already being denied twice.

Harrison confidently comes up to you at the side of the bed, and flips you over. The unexpected action makes you gasp, and Harrison lays down next to you, then swiftly pulls you on top of him. The unwanted eye contact makes you cringe, but Harrison smirks, looking at the drool dripping from your mouth on his chest. Samuels looks at Kai and continues to stroke his still hard dick.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Kai silently looks over at Samuels, and he excitedly comes to you and kneels behind you. Harrison probes at your entrance, quickly filling you up and moaning as you clench around his thick cock. For the first time this evening, you hold back a soft moan at Harrison entering you, but relax slightly, hoping to cum this time. That is, before Samuels forcefully spreads your cheeks. You clench them in protest but that only makes Harrison moan louder. Samuels exhales in preparation, before slapping down both hands on your ass cheeks. You yelp and flinch, not expecting such harsh contact, and look over at Kai, who’s proud of Samuels for taking risks and using you. You put your head down on Harrisons shoulder in shame and hold your breath. Samuels spreads your reddening cheeks and spits on your asshole. Just as he’s about to grab his dick and push right inside, he remembers.

“Oh sorry, I forgot”. He says, before walking over to your face, and rubbing his dick in the drool from your gag. Kai watches smirking, his tongue grazing over his teeth, and he nods at his actions. When Samuels assumes the previous position behind you, without warning he pushes the tip of his dick inside your ass. You cry out at the stretch and resist the instinct to tense, knowing it will only hurt you and please them more. Harrisons cock is already filling you to the point of hitting your cervix, and with Samuels burying his slender dick deeper in your asshole, you are filled to the point of breaking. You try to stop holding your breath, and take short, pained gasps around your gag. When they’re both fully inside you, they moan in unison, and waste no time to start moving. They turns being inside you, so no matter how much you whimper, you always have at least one cock inside you.

When they develop a rhythm and both moan louder, their thrusts get sloppier. After a while, neither of them fully pulls out their cocks, instead moving them in and out within you, filling your insides fully. The feeling completely overwhelms you, but when Harrison scrapes past your previously attacked g-spot, a moan slips out from past your gag. The subtle sound makes both men smirk and go faster and probing you harder. The alternating rhythm of their cocks speeds up even more when they both approach orgasm. They moan and grunt loudly, sounding like they’re trying to overpass each other, and they both close your eyes. The loud noises filling the room make you tingle, and make it far easier to hide your impending orgasm. You manage to sneak in it quickly, as both men are at their loudest, both cumming at the same time and filling you up, both of their releases overflowing out of you, acting as lubricant. You close your eyes and quietly moan into Harrisons shoulder, him not noticing, being far too busy riding out his own high, and watching Samuels do the same. Samuels is the first one to pull out, clearly tired out from his past orgasm, and almost immediately gets dressed. Harrison fucks you a little longer, pulling and pushing the cum in and out of you, making it spill out of your pussy and on the bed. When he catches his breath, he stops moving and pushes you off him, laying on your back in the center of the bed. As he pulls his jeans up and loops the belt through his pants, he looks down at you, gasping for air and covered in sweat, and smiles in pride.

“Such a cum whore, dripping in our mixed cum”. Samuels chuckles and nods in approval and they both dress up fully, wiping their sweat and sighing.

After you catch your breath too, you look over at Kai, who’s completely tense standing at the edge of the bed, staring at you. He dismisses both men and their smiles drop, taking his instruction seriously and quickly running out of the basement. You’re left to look at Kai, who’s equally covered in sweat and equally as hard as the other men were.

“Did you forget I was here?”. He asks, slowly walking over to you. You don’t dare to take your eyes off him and watch his every step.

“Did you enjoy that?”. You shake your head, hoping he would never embarrass you again.

“Do you not think I can tell when you cum?”, he asks rhetorically, making you burn on the inside with guilt.

“Maybe those two clowns don’t know, but I do”.

His eyes flicker down at your body, slightly shaking, still trying to come down from your intense high. He takes his belt out of his pants and you moan softly at the sight, not being able to wait for Kai to fuck you restlessly.

“Just because I’m a good leader and I let my sheep use you for the night, doesn’t make you any less my possession”. You nod innocently, and Kai flips you over and pulls you to the middle of the bed. You look at him and wriggle in anticipation. But Kai never gets on the bed. Instead, he folds his belt in half and holds it in a tight grip.

“I think you need to be marked, and reminded who you’re made for”. You shut your eyes tightly and bite around your gag, ready to be punished. Kai clicks his fingers in front of your face, making you open your eyes and points to himself. You nod your head and mentally prepare to not take your eyes off him. He quickly whips the belt across your ass cheeks, and you yell around your gag, making Kai laugh.

“I need to hear you”. He takes out the gag and you move your stiff jaw around, making it crack. Kai gives you no time to settle and he belts you once again, making you open your mouth and yelp out in pain.

“I-I’m sorry”, you cry, but Kai looks at you and snaps, “Not good enough. I need more. Show me you know you belong to me”. Once the belt contacts your sore ass, you whimper out.

“Thank you for using me, Divine Ruler”. Though Kai’s stern expression doesn’t soften, he hums in approval. He belts your thighs, making you jump and scream louder. Tears overflow your eyes, and you wince out a few more words.

“It’s an honour to be yours, Divine Ruler”. With another smack, you cry out and hold your breath for a few seconds. Kai stares at you, waiting for you to thank him.

“I’m grateful to be y-your cum whore”.

He nods and quickly belts your ass in the same sore spots as before. After a few harsh belts straight after one another, Kai stops and drops the belt on bed. You breathe deeply as you take the punishment, but Kai’s anger doesn’t dissolve, and he takes out a pocketknife. You look at him, terrified, but exhale in relief when he cuts the ropes holding you down. After a minute, once they are all cut, you shakily kneel up on the bed and stretch your body, instinctively rubbing the sore rope burns. Kai holds you by the shoulder and pushes you back down on the bed, on your back. He straddles you, and flicks your hard nipples, making you gasp. He looks down at the fingerprints bruised in your boobs from Samuels and he groans in anger.

“I called you a good girl at the start, didn’t I?”, he says, and you slowly nod, scared at Kai’s fury and the tight grip on the pocketknife in his hand.

“But clearly, I was wrong, you’re not a good girl. You know what you are?”. You stare at him blankly for a second and don’t dare to open your mouth to guess. He chuckles sarcastically and puts the silver blade to your stomach. Your eyes widen and tears continue to stream down your face. He puts his hand on your chest to hold you down as you shake in fear. He puts the blade to your stomach and slowly digs it in, making you lose it. You stop even trying to hold in your tears, and sob in pain as he carves sharp lines in your stomach. With every line, Kai pushes down on your chest more and you slowly struggle to breathe. Blood drips down your sides and soaks into the white bedsheets, and once he’s done, Kai stops leaning and sits up, proudly looking at what he did. You can’t stop sobbing and gently touch your stomach, and look at the blood covering your fingers. Kai tangles his fingers through your hair and pulls you up, making you sit and letting the blood drip down your thighs and down to your pussy. He pulls you away from the bed and walks with you as you drip blood, and it soaks into the beige carpet. He lets go of your hair, and grabs your arms on either side before leaning into your neck.

“I’m going to fuck you all night long. Both holes, since you like it so much”, he whispers seductively, making you shiver. You want to wipe your tears but after being fucked and carved, you barely have the strength to be on your own two feet. He walks over to the kitchen with you and continues whispering to you.

“I’m going to fuck you and give you as many loads as it takes, so that the only cum leaking out of you is mine”. You look over your shoulder at him, and he smiles widely, both of you now standing in front of the mirror. You look at yourself, covered in rope burns and your face dried with drool and tears. Kai has a strong grip on your arms, and looks you up and down in the mirror, before moaning softly at the sight. You feel blood dripping down your thighs all the way to the floor, and you look down at the stinging cut on your stomach. The sharp lines cover your entire stomach, with both dripping and drying blood, the word in clear display: SLUT.

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Roxy Lalonde #John Egbert #Calliope

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