#anyway ive been drinking way less than that lately
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countv0ncunt · 3 months ago
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My body: pls give me roughly 90 fl oz of water a day :(
Me (who is also my body): *skin peeling for no reason* best I can do is 30, boss 😎
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year ago
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wyll whos nice and kind down to his bones but develops a nasty jealousy streak….tugs you back behind some secluded corner of camp to kiss you something fierce when he catches how others at camp look upon you…starts smoking a cigarette
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steadily yours | w. ravengard
✮ tags ; jealousy, established relationship, gn!reader, kissing / hickies, alcohol, silly and lovesick wyll
✮ wc ; 2k
✮ a/n ; ive thought about this ask for a week straight. its getting dire.
some minor spoilers for wylls romance like extremely minor and vauge!!! i am only just entering act three so pls dont spoil me but this take place vaugely post game lololol
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The Blade of Frontiers is a good man.
This isn't a title he's given himself, but one bestowed upon him. Through tales and songs all across the city and uttered from the very lips of his lover - Wyll Ravengard has always strived to be a good man.
He can't assert this by any measure, but he knows best his own effort. For the sake of the city, for the sake of his people, for the sake of love. He wants very little to himself, and he fights with every ounce of him. His heart is in the city, but his soul is with you. Between these two places, there's no amount of sacrifice or burden he isn't willing to bear.
Part of being a good man is being the master of your own desires. What other men do is none of Wyll's concern, but he's always been adamant about keeping firmly on the straight path. Wyll wants love properly, much like how he wishes the world around him would follow.
Properly, with order and justice and care. That's how Wyll has lived his whole life.
And he's believed of himself that loving that way came easier upon him than it did others, though that was nothing he felt like bragging about. It never felt difficult to abstain from the ugliness of anger or jealousy.
That was before you. And this is after, this is post having your meeting. Wyll has had a relationship or two. Puppy crushes that fizzled off as soon as Wyll's responsibility began to overwhelming. Like, less than love, really. This time it is love, and love is incomparable to any sensation in the world. Not the cut of a blade against his skin, nor the warmth of a sunset. No mortal feeling could really measure to love.
In the aftermath of loving you, Wyll supposes, there is an ugliness within himself that he never really knew about. But maybe it's only normal. What else could there be after he's encountered the most beautiful thing the world has to offer, beyond even gods?
There are three things on Wyll's mind, lately. One, that he loves you more than he thought possible. Two, that he's relieved about the state of affairs. And three, he's very tired of feeling this way.
Not that he's tired of loving you. Things just aren't so busy anymore, and that means there's always people around. The people of the gate love you, and you're more hospitable than you let on. The camp is busy, rife with life every single evening and everyone is always so keen on meeting you.
You're busy, rightly - laughing and drinking. Though you're not much for talking, you do your duties as a host and tell stories when prompted. You seem to enjoy yourself in the well-earned reprieve and you've really do deserve very bit of that love and attention that's come your way.
So, Wyll knows feeling this way is ugly. The jealousy is ugly, and Wyll's not entirely lacking self-awareness about it. Though before he could chalk it up to other things, lately it's impossible. He knows that the Outlanders who come seeking your company have no idea you're engaged - and that they're simply men who desire you for the name you've earned.
A warrior, a hero, a myth - Wyll does not blame them for their curiosity.
But he feels pitiful to be so stirred up about it anyways.
He drinks tonight, though the carafe of wine is mostly full. The others speak amongst themselves. Astarion drifts by him, stands and sways in motion in the cool night air with a smug look on his face that Wyll is too dazed to catch.
Astarion speaks first. The sound is muffled first, impossible to make out in his own mind before a pale hand waves in front of his face.
"You know I'll have to thank your darling later for allowing me to see such a rare sight," Astarion drawls. He's sober, though there's wine in his hand all the same "The Blade of Frontiers, seething with jealousy. A marvel."
"I wouldn't call it seething," Wyll replies, still only half paying attention. His eyes are glued to you. He can't bring himself to look away.
Astarion laughs, a little pity in his voice , though Wyll can't really make out if it's sincere or not.
"But you'll admit you're jealous? My, Ravengard, you've changed." Astarion says. Wyll doesn't bother asking what he means, since it's true in any case "Forgive those poor Outlanders. It's hard enough watching them pine for one half the lovesick couple as is."
Wyll sighs.
"It's fine," Wyll says, though even he can hear how much he doesn't really mean it "It's not like they would know. I suppose many people wear decorative rings these days."
"Gods, this is funny. Just listen to you, I mean really. What a delight. I have half a mind to call the rest over just to witness it in person. Unfortunately I'm not so charitable," Astarion says back to him holding in a laugh "Whatever will you do, Ravengard? Maybe you could kick up a fuss, or pick a fight. People brawl at these things don't they? Oh what a sight that'd be indeed."
Wyll ignores him, but he does heed the advice. He would like to do something about it, though there won't be any brawl. He steels himself, passes an empty cup off to Astarion who makes a shrill laugh as Wyll starts walking himself over the fire.
When he arrives there, the conversation has come to more of a relaxed lull. You notice him even engrossed in conversation, flashing him a smile so beautiful he feels a little blinded.
He gives you one in return, disarmed. The outlander who's been trying to win your attention all night goes to address you again and Wyll is quick to interject.
"Ah, sorry - would you all mind if I borrowed them for a minute?"
You give Wyll a look of surprise, your eyes crystal clear. He feels guilty almost instantly, but continues anyway.
"Is something the matter?" You ask, your voice softened. You've been drinking, from the way your words melt together.
"Nothing serious, just something I wanted to talk to you about in private. That alright? Promise I'll return them before the night is over."
"As long as you promise," Says the very same one Wyll's been trying to tear you away from all evening. You laugh heartily before standing to your feet. You're beaming at him, brilliant - and Wyll goes back to his usual pleasant self as he gives his goodbyes.
He says something about promising before he whisks you off, faithfully ignoring the knowing looks of party.
And he takes you to a quiet corner of the camp, a short trail bridging between the main plot of land. There's some sturdy scenery, and rocks large enough to shield you from the outside and give you privacy.
He's cornering you a bit, admittedly - but you seem happy to see him. As soon as you're alone, you have your arms around his neck. There's a delightful air of excitement around you and Wyll finds himself filling with all the fondness in the world.
The faint sour-sweet of wine lingers off of your lips. Wyll looks at you closely, studies your expression.
"Sorry, sorry," You apologize, suddenly more comfortable. A side of yourself that you only show to him. How funny it makes him feel "I was happy to see you, is all."
"I can see that," Wyll replies, smug - just barely. You bat your lashes, dazed. It's unlike you. Wyll likes it. "I'm happy to see you too. Always."
"Is it something serious?"
Ah. He's caught isn't he? In a way, he's tremendously lucky you're not too sober. He's sure you'll tease him about it later.
"No, I suppose not. It's nothing at all, I just," He stumbles uncertainly at what he should say "Well, I wanted to speak with you."
"You could've joined us!"
Wyll gives you a sideways glance.
"Could I?" He says, before he catches himself. He adds the next words apologetically almost "That outlander you've been conversing all night seemed rather rapt with you. I doubt I could've interjected anywhere without fumbling."
You look like you're processing his words, but it's not as if Wyll is going to let you.
Wyll often says to you that you make him forget himself, and there are moments like these he find that to be more true than ever. It is unlike Wyll - strong and chivalrous, poise and charming - to bear so heavy a feeling in his heart that he has to express it physically.
Only you could make his silver tongue submit to such urgent, base instinct. Wyll kisses you in the most unromantic way he knows. It's not very gentlemanly. A kiss to claim, to sink, to swallow.
He kisses hard, and your lips are faint with the taste of wine. You make a noise of surprise before you melt into his arms. The warmth of his body makes him feel like he's burning to ash. His tongue touches yours, warm and hot nipping at your mouth.
When you pull away, Wyll decides it still isn't enough to curb the jealousy. He lets his teeth drift down to your neck. Sharpened canines that scrape against thin skin. Wyll sucks hard, enough to make all the capilliaries break.
And you sigh - a pretty, welcoming noise. Wyll is marking you. He leaves one after the other, in admittedly visible places. But he's not thinking about, not really.
Not until your voice breaks, the sweetest edge of desire to your words. He's not so debased to do anything to you while you're more than tipsy. He pulls away from you, blinks at you candidly - before the realization dawns on him in full.
By the gods, what's wrong with him? Embarrassment hits him afterwards, abject dread filling him as he peers at the dark marks along your neckline.
Did he really...? Really?
"Wyll," You say, strikingly sober and delighted all of a sudden "Are you...perhaps...jealous?"
He rubs his face on his hand, suddenly flush, turning his expression to one side. He can't deny it at this point can he.
"I wonder if my life will be easier once our wedding is announced in print," He offers sheepishly. You laugh loudly, absolutely elated as you press your forehead to his. He does the same, of course "The ring seems to be no more than decorative to everyone."
"Wyll Ravengard, I would've never guessed in a thousand years you'd drag me here because you were jealous."
"Please forget my uncouth actions at your earliest convenience my love," He says, groaning "I might die of embarrassment otherwise."
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I get jealous over silly things all the time. I tell you as much."
"When you do it it's endearing. I'm meant to be a gentleman, yet in front of you - I lose my wits like I'm a boy no older than seventeen. It's maddening."
"You forget yourself?" You tease, characteristically. He laughs.
"A bit more each day, it seems."
"A little jealousy is healthy, Ravengard. Though, I'm not sure how we're going to return to camp in this state." You say, giving him a suggestive look "Perhaps we have a bit more to talk about here instead, hm?"
"We should be doing such things in a bed. Or a tent." Wyll insists. You chuckle like you know he'll give into you.
"Wouldn't it be more effective if that Outlander you're so jealous of saw me with a post sex glow, along with the hickies."
Wyll feels his skin prick with heat.
"You drive a hard bargain." He comments, voice soft as a whisper. You laugh.
"Maybe you're just an easy sell."
Wyll laughs heartily at that.
"Any one would jump at the chance for something so priceless, Hero of the Gate."
You give Wyll another smile, lovely and genuine - there's nothing smug about it. You kiss him tender, sighing happily into his arms. He finds himself helpless to his own joy.
"Then lets kill time here and head back,"
"Yes," He says, jealousy tucked away for now "Let's do that,"
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yanderu-deredere · 2 years ago
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bite.
★ what kind of girlfriend invites you to some bonfire in the middle of the forest only to leave you there? a shitty girlfriend, that's who. now, you're kind of buzzed and lost. thankfully, you spot a cabin. hopefully, the people there can help you out.
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a/n: mom says it's my turn with the wolf pack!! here's another long thing but this time it's for the wolfie pack that ive been promising for a while now! hopefully it lives up to your guys expectations LOL i really love these yanderes and the werewolf lore i sprinkled in is my own brand of crazy
for those in disbelief, wondering how does this fit in my lil city. well, there's a forest at the outskirts of the city and i want there to be werewolves so there's werewolves!! got inspired by @not-a-bot-just-shy and their poly wolf pack so please check theirs out too!
while i was writing this, i decided that it got like really long so i decided to write a few more parts LOL im so sorry ive been slapping you guys with so many different chaptered stuff! but i hope itll be worth it!
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part one (here) ★ part two ★ (chew.) ★ extras (bite and chew.) ★ extras (taste) ★ part three ★ (swallow.) ★ part four (digest.)
pairing: poly werewolves x male reader word count: 3475 warning: bottom reader has male parts and pronouns, reader is implied to be attracted to both genders, reader may be under the influence of alcohol, reader may have a shitty girlfriend, yanderes may be under the influence of the moon? wild, polyamorous ending (all three with the reader)
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You grumbled, pushing past branches and leaves as you stomped around the forest, angry at your girlfriend for basically ditching you. Well, not ditching you. But, she did invite you to this stupid bonfire only to force you to drink and then ignore you the entire night.
She was the kind of girlfriend who was super into the full moon, tarot cards and mystic readings so she thought it would be fun to run around half naked tonight, thinking maybe something witchy and magical would happen.
You thought it meant having a hot make out session in front of a sexy bonfire so, of course, when she begged you to come, you agreed.
You were unfortunately wrong.
She was probably with that stupid buff friend of hers, draping herself all over him. So what if you couldn't tell whether or not you were a 'Sagittarius rising' or whatever and he could? You couldn't help but be annoyed at the thought of the two of them having fun.
You wouldn't call it cheating but it was definitely something.
You had stormed out in anger, hoping your girlfriend would care enough to chase after you. Unfortunately, she didn't even care enough about you to do that.
Or, even worse, she didn't notice that you'd left at all.
You pulled your phone out of your hoodie pocket and glanced at the time and battery. It was getting really late and your phone was almost dead. Damn. You didn't have any signal either so no hopes of calling someone for help.
Why were you so petty and dramatic anyway?
You heard a thump and your heart jumped into your throat. You looked around, scared as all hell, only to realise there was light in front of you.
You hurried forward, hoping to whatever higher power there was that it was civilization. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Fortunately, it was some sort of rustic looking house, large enough to fit a big family.
The thumping was from someone chopping some wood.
He looked buff, like a weightlifter with a little bit of pudge. He was a ways away from you but you could tell he was definitely taller than you, with the messiest ginger hair you had ever seen.
The stranger was wearing a tight worn down tank top and jeans which, honestly, he made look really good.
You hadn't even gotten close before the guy whacked his axe down, looking around the clearing like he was searching for something and, as if he'd heard you, his head snapped right to you.
You flinched but decided just coming out right then was less suspicious than hiding.
"Uhm! Hello!" You stepped forward, face and ears feeling a little hot from embarrassment "I'm really sorry to bother you but I'm like so lost and I just need directions--"
"You're not supposed to be here." He suddenly snapped and it made you take a step away from him, your eyes fluttering from one of his bulging muscles to the other.
If he wanted to snap you like a twig, he could easily do it.
"Right," you held your hands up as a sort of sign of surrender, "I totally get that but my friends-- We have a bonfire nearby-- Well, I don't really know how nearby-- I got lost--"
He seemed to see how frantic you got because he sighed and nodded, holding his hand out "C'mon, there's no way anyone would find their way through the forest at night."
"Stay the night and we'll drive you to Lovelock in the morning." He wrapped an arm around your shoulders when you got close enough though, from the tone in his voice, he didn't seem very happy.
"You can call me Mel. I live here with my partners, Leo and Sam." He guided you to the door and opened it for you "Sorry I'm a bit messy, was trying to cut wood for kindling."
"All good! Thanks for housing me. Sorry I'm being such a bother." You bowed your head a little, very apologetic since he seemed so inconvenienced.
Then, you didn't know if it was the alcohol in your system or if it was just from how good-looking the guy is but you suddenly felt the urge to lean against him and giggle "You know, I'm not entirely convinced this isn't some elaborate mirage."
"Mirage?" He looked understandably confused as he easily held up your body which practically draped itself on him.
You nodded, sighing almost dramatically "I was stuck in that forest for forever! I thought I'd never find my way! And I feel like super-sexy--mean-muscle-lumberjack is the exact fantasy my mind would conjure up."
He seemed to realise he was being a bit stand-offish or something (probably from the fact you described him as a mean muscle lumberjack) because his personality did a complete switch "Oh, ummm, I apologise. Sorry for being weird, my partners and I aren't really-- em, in the state for having guests--"
Just as the two of you finally made it through the front door, Mel definitely much more easily than you, the sound of someone else caught your attention.
"Melk--" Speak of the devil, a fluffy ashen haired head peaked out of one of the doorways leading further into the house, blue bespectacled glasses peering at you "Who's the twunk?"
You felt your cheeks grow warm. Twunk? You were definitely more hunk than twink. What even constituted as twink anyway? You doubted you were small or thin enough! In fact, if either of you were the twink, it would've been him, with his lithe model body!
He was like an exact opposite to Mel; where Mel was tanned and muscled, this stranger was pale, of average height and looked like he could shove you a little at most.
Differences aside, he both of them were absolutely handsome. It made you feel a little left out. Were you on some movie set?
"Leo, don't be rude. He's our guest." Mel placed both his broad palms on your shoulders, introducing you before giving you a little nudge forward "And this is ou-- umm, my partner, Leonard. He's a pain in the ass but he grows on you."
The little stumble in Mel's sentence went completely unnoticed to you but the sudden weird expression on Leonard's face didn't.
Still, you didn't want to be rude to someone who was putting up with you for a night so you smiled as sweetly as you could "Hi, really nice to meet you!"
It was obvious Leonard didn't think the same because his smile was obviously forced "Nice to meet you too!"
Then, he hurried off and you could hear his sock-clad feet thumping through the wooden floors of the house "Saaam!"
"I'm so sorry about him." Mel pulled you to him, your back against his chest, and leaned forward, apologetic expression on his face.
You just chalked it up to him being a really touchy person and smiled nervously, nodding "It's all good! It's totally understandable, I came out of nowhere, after all!"
That polite look on Mel's face vanished for a second, replaced with a look that was gone too fast for you to place. Thankfully, you didn't think you had to worry about it because Mel was helping you take off your shoes and leading you to the kitchen.
"You must be starving." He pulled out a chair for you "Let me heat something up for you."
"Handsome and polite..." You murmured, your hand rubbing at your aching and empty stomach before, a bit more loudly, you said: "No, I can't possibly ask you to feed me too!"
"It's really nothing, just pressing a few buttons on a microwave." Mel waved off your concerns, grin on his face as he did just that; sticking a glass tupperware container in the microwave and setting it to some arbitrary time.
You sighed and relented; mostly because you were definitely still hungry and buzzed from the alcohol. You wanted nothing more than food in your tummy.
As you were taking in the yummy smell of food heating in the microwave, there was the cacophony of hurried steps on wooden floor before Leonard and a man you didn't know appeared in a doorway.
He was also gorgeous. Goes to show that good looking people flocked together. He had black shaggy hair in a low pony and a noticeable scar on his upper lip but it didn't take away from his pretty face.
He even had two moles under his left eye which made him look even more beautiful (if that were even possible).
He was like a middle man; not exactly twink-ish like Leonard but not exactly buff like Mel. Definitely on the more muscular side, though. Definitely bigger. He could probably bend you in half, that was for sure.
"Leo said--" The man burst in before turning absolutely dark red in the face upon laying eyes on you, an almost inhuman whine leaving his lips "Hello."
"Hello." You grinned at him, finding his actions way more funny than weird "You must be Sam, right? Nice to meet you."
"Isamu. Y-You can call me Sam." He nodded, agreeing.
Then, to continue his train of weird actions, he bowed at the waist, still looking flustered, before scurrying away. Leonard snickered, looking especially mischevious before following after him.
"What's up with all of you and your partners looking supernaturally gorgeous?" You whispered conspiratorially to Mel.
Instead of asking, he just laughed, all deep and rumbly, like you'd said a particularly funny joke.
You pouted, unsure if you'd really said something that was worth laughing at that much.
"You were at a bonfire, you said?" Mel said instead, opening the microwave to pull the glass tupperware out, whatever food in it obviously steaming.
You nodded, excited at the prospect of food "Yeah, my girlfriend invited me but then she ditched me to go hang out with some buff guy."
"Jokes on her, I guess, I found an even buffer, hotter guy to hang out with instead." You grinned at him, looking quite like the cat that got the cream.
Mel just let out another smaller laugh, putting the tupperware container with a plastic spoon and fork in front of you.
You were a little awed by the fact that he could touch the hot glass but chalked it up to the fact that he was just really tough.
The food was just fried rice (which was honestly more fried vegetables than rice and it made you almost laugh) and what you guessed was grilled chicken with teriyaki sauce. Aside from the vegetables in the rice, there was also broccoli.
Thankfully, there was a lot of chicken so there wasn't too many vegetables.
"Make sure to eat your vegetables." He sat in front of you, looking like he was holding back a smirk.
You pouted at him but rolled your eyes and speared a small broccoli branch and put it in your mouth. Then, you made an exagerrated 'MMM' sound to show him how tasty you thought it was.
He laughed again but, this time, it sounded fake "Sorry, I always have to remind Leo to eat his vegetables. It becomes habit after awhile."
"Understandable." You gave a curt nod "I'm bad at eating healthy so I can relate to Leo."
"Well, you definitely won't be eating badly under my roof." Mel crossed his arms (which made his biceps absolutely bulge) before leaning back in his chair, an almost arrogant expression on his face.
"Good think I'll only be living one night under this roof, huh?" You joked back, thinking that was the right thing to say.
Instead of the laugh you expected, that strange expression was back on Mel's face. You stopped mid-bite, looking at him curiously, a worried expression on your face "Did I say something wrong?"
"No." The expression was gone quickly, like before, and his polite grin was back.
He sat up again, his arms uncrossing and his hand reaching over to cover yours on the table. You just grinned at him, confused by the gesture but figured, like you thought before, he was just a touchy guy.
"Sam, Leo, come here and hang out with our new guest!" Mel suddenly yelled, making you flinch a bit with how unnaturally loud his voice got.
"Sorry." His hand tightened around yours, apologetic expression on his face as his thumb rubbed comforting circles onto the side of your hand "Didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay, just got surprised!" You waved off his concern as you smiled and shrugged his hand off so you could properly eat. You didn't want to admit it but his touch had your heart fluttering wildly in your chest!
"Here, you were at the bonfire to have fun right? We can have our own fun here." Mel wolfishly grinned at you, his eyes alight with a playful look on his face "We have a couple of cases of beer here if you want?"
"Sure." You looked eager at the offer, nodding your head quickly. Usually, you wouldn't have accepted, Mel being a stranger and all, but you were already a bit inebriated and he was just so handsome that he convinced you easily.
He stood just as Isamu and Leonard entered, both looking flustered and weird.
Of course, excited by the prospect of getting more drunk and forgetting your problems with a bunch of hot strangers, you gestured for them to come sit next to you, not at all minding their weirdness.
Isamu quickly sat next to where Mel was sitting, his back ramrod straight and his hands in his lap. If you had a protractor, you were sure he would measure at ninety degrees exactly.
Leonard, on the other hand, looked relaxed and almost cocky as he sat next to you, even going so far as to scoot the chair closer.
"Mel said he was going to get some beer, do you want to drink with us?" You asked them happily and Leonard made a face like he was disgusted with the suggestion while Isamu immediately nodded.
"Our handsome guest here was just telling me his girlfriend ditched him for someone else." Mel walked over, two bottles of beer in each hand "We can't have him being sad over that right? We have to help him forget all about that stupid bitch."
You scowled, feeling as if maybe you should defend your girlfriend. Mel couldn't just randomly call her a bitch like that, right?
But then, he literally flicked the caps off of the beer bottles like they were made of paper and you thought maybe, a muscly hot guy like him was allowed a few red flags.
He handed you a bottle and you took a fat swig before giggling "Thank you so much for taking me in and for taking care of me like this! I feel so bad for imposing on you guys! You guys are so wonderful!"
Leonard leaned against you, your shoulders bumping against each others' "Don't worry about it. In fact, it's really our pleasure!"
You grinned before wrapping an arm around Leonard and pulling him close, completely missing the look the three of them shared with each other.
Before you knew it, you were just knocking them back, swapping happy stories with the three of them.
Apparently, Mel first moved out here and built the house with the money he inherited with his family. The family itself seemed like a sore subject but he looked entirely too happy to rant about how he made the house.
Then, Isamu came next when he got lost trying to find his dog? The dog died a couple of years later since she was already a senior dog but the two hit it off and started dating almost immediately after Mel helped him find the old geezer.
After Isamu's dog died and he graduated college, he moved in and they literally found Leonard who had tried running away from his overly controlling parents.
When Leonard graduated college, he moved in too. Now, the three of them lived together. The only one of them that really commuted was Leonard but not that far since he worked at a cafe pretty much near the edge of the forest.
You awed and gushed over their relationship, absolutely enamoured by how sweet it was that they all found each other.
At least, that was the last thing you remembered.
"You're a little bit of a light-weight, aren't'cha?" Mel laughed and you felt his entire chest rumble under your palms, his collar bone hard and cozy under your cheek.
"Huh?" You hummed, a little confused.
You got the gist that he was carrying you somewhere. You could feel his big, warm hands on your waist, his fingers almost sneaking underneath your clothes and his rather noticeable nails tickling your skin.
You could also feel your feet stumbling a little on the floor so you knew he wasn't carrying you.
"Hey, pay attention!"
You snapped into reality a bit there, looking around. You weren't in the kitchen anymore. In fact, you were standing in the middle of a living room, right in front of a coffee table.
Mel's hands were all over you and Isamu was right next to you, fretting about whether or not you were going to fall over. The only one not touching you was Leonard who had his arms crossed, looking at you annoyed.
"Oh, sorry." Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to understand what was happening "I don't know what's going on with me, I just--"
"It happens to the best of us." Mel waved your apology off, wolfish grin on his face as if he was quite proud of himself "Nobody can out-drink me, after all."
"I feel like none of you are drunk at all! Just me..." You groaned, forehead pressed against the crook of Mel's neck, arm around him tightening just a little bit.
Even with all of your strength, he didn't even budge one bit.
Isamu just chuckled nervously, his warm hand comforting as it rubbed up and down your back "Call it a buff guy's fast metabolism."
"Leonard isn't even buff!" You pouted at Isamu, your head suddenly flinging back to lean against his shoulder, looking at him with the sweetest puppy eyes.
Isamu stuttered, cheeks reddening "L-Leo didn't drink, di-didn't you see?"
You turned your head a little, cheek still resting against Isamu's shoulder as you squinted at Leonard.
Your memory was so hazy now, after the number of bottles you drank. You couldn't really remember how many bottles Leonard drank.
Or, really, how many bottles you or anyone drank.
"I think I need to lay down." You huffed, moving to go to the couch.
Before you could, Mel wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you close, his lips brushing against your ear "Woah, there, watch for the table."
You felt your ear immediately turn hot and so did your cheeks. You knew it definitely wasn't the alcohol either because you felt the heat between your legs a little too.
You cursed the three of them (especially Mel) for being so sexy.
Then, you looked down, glaring at the offending piece of furniture. You didn't think you were about to trip on it but it must've moved to foil you on your way.
"Thank you." You turned your head and, as you did, you underestimated how close Mel was and accidentally brushed your lips against the corner of his.
Instead of apologising, you just giggled and escaped his grasp when his arm went slack. You practically dove into the couch, unfolding the what felt like dozens of comfortable soft looking blankets and scattering the pillows.
You started arranging them around you, forming a little nest of sorts. You figured the giant sectional was where they'd put you up for the night so you might as well get comfortable.
You thought you heard the three of them muttering but you got so focused on getting your sleeping arrangements right that you couldn't find it in yourself to pay much attention.
It was wild to even see the sectional! You definitely couldn't complain! The thing could fit the four of you easy and then some! You would sleep comfortably by yourself!
"Well then!" Mel suddenly cleared his throat, making you flinch and turn your head to him (reminding him oddly like an adorable meerkat) "I guess we should leave you to get settled..."
In your daze, you missed both Isamu and Leonard huffing and shoving at Mel but you definitely didn't miss the way Mel took a step back, as if more than happy to leave.
Immediately, your eyes watered. "Wait, you didn't want to hang out more?"
The three of them panicked.
"Oh, no, no, you just looked like you were getting comfortable--"
"I-It's just that w-we just didn't want to get in your way--"
"Way to go, meat-head, you dumbass--"
You just crossed your arms and sniffled, trying to look as angry as possible "I'll forgive you if you hang out with me a little longer."
"I may be a little... emmm, inebriated but I'm not sleepy yet." You added, a little proud of yourself for being able to use such a big word.
Mel chuckled a little but nodded "Okay, sounds good. What do you want to do then?"
"Let's watch a movie!" You immediately pointed to the TV, grin on your face as you moved to lean against the back of the sectional, pillow in your arms and blanket draped over your lap. "C'mon, sit next to me."
At first, all three of them seemed to hesitate but, when Mel sat next to the arm of the sofa, Isamu and Leonard quickly followed.
Like in the kitchen, Leonard sat the closest to you, his shoulder bumping against yours. Isamu sat next to you too but he sat rather stiffly and, lastly, Mel sat on the other side of Isamu, his elbow resting on the arm of the sofa.
"What movie should we watch?"
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bluejaysandblackbats · 10 months ago
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Catch and Release
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.
Chapters: 4/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake
Relationships: TBA
Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating
Chapter Four: Looking Glasses
My glasses weren't ready for my Wednesday appointment, but they were done the Friday after my second week of school. So, I took a cab to the optometrist's and then the pizza parlor, where I ran into Tim. He was with his friends, so I thought he wouldn't notice me. "One meat lover's pizza with thin garlic butter crust," I ordered. I waited in the corner, drinking out of the two-liter soda I bought to drown my misery. I had a crappy week at school and didn't want to speak to talk to anyone. The smell of pizza usually left me in a better mood. Besides, I liked being away from the house and the family. I ate the fries they gave me for dining in and watched people standing at the street corner.
"Order for Christopher!" the man at the counter called. I finished my fries, threw the two-liter in my bag, and grabbed my crutches. When I got to the counter, I realized I couldn't carry my pizza and use my crutches. Tim got up and offered to help. I was mortified. I hid my name and everything to avoid speaking to him, only to need his help.
"Here, listen, my driver's on his way. He can drop you off if you want, and I'll help you to your-."
"I don't wanna be any trouble," I interrupted. I said it harshly without meaning to, but I don't think Tim cared. He'd been following me around campus all day, and we just so happened to meet at the pizza place. It would've felt like he was stalking me had he not gotten there first. "I should've thought-."
"No, it's okay. It's really no trouble. I insist," Tim replied.
There was no polite way to turn him down, and his driver just pulled up out front. "I'll split this pie with you if you don't take me home."
Tim grinned a half-smile. "Alright. Come on, I've got your pizza," Tim reassured me. He carried my pizza to the car, and I followed him out.
Once we got in the car, I asked the question I'd had since the first day of school. "Are you watching me? At school, I mean?" I asked.
"I've been-. I'm curious. People talk, and-. Well, you never let anybody close enough to learn anything about you," Tim replied. I knit my brows with great effort.
"What do you wanna know, Tim?" I asked.
"Jason, what kind of accident was it?" Tim questioned.
"Explosion... Gas leak explosion. I don't like to talk about it," I lied. Honestly, I was dying to talk about it. I was sick of holding it all inside myself, but I couldn't afford to let anyone in my head. Especially not some freshman I'd known for less than a week. Tim gave me my pizza box and the okay to eat in the car. I set the box between us and draped an open napkin over my lap. I let Tim eat, but he wasn't hungry. I ate in silence.
It'd been a while since I'd had pizza. I think it was my birthday the last time. I was in the hospital then. Bruce wanted to cheer me up, but all I could think about was my-. I could only think about Sheila. I tried to take the brunt of the blast, but I wasn't big enough. She impaled her skull on a rock anyway. So, I lay trapped between the debris and her lifeless body for what felt like forever. I relived that moment constantly. Lately, I only think about it when I feel trapped. "Jason?" Tim whispered as he touched my arm. It shook me out of a trance. "You alright? You were gone for a while... We're at my house now."
"Oh, we're here?" I mumbled as if I'd been asleep. I slipped my backpack on, and Tim helped me carry my pizza box inside. His house was mostly empty, save for a maid or nanny working on the premises. He set the box on the coffee table and turned the tv on.
I took my homework out of my bag and sat it upright on the floor. "You're gonna do your homework?" Tim asked. I nodded and put on my glasses.
"Yeah, that's what I typically do when I get a minute to sit down," I half-joked. Tim shrugged and flipped through the channels.
"Would it be distracting if I asked you a few questions?" Tim asked. I shook my head. "Jason, when you were thirteen, you went on a short trip to Hollywood over the spring break, right?" The question was weird, but I nodded.
"Yeah, I was visiting a friend. He invited me out to see the movie his Aunt worked on," I answered. That was a half-truth.
"Did you get to see Robin while you were there?" Tim asked.
I laughed it off. "Robin lived in Gotham... But no one's seen much of him lately," I replied. Tim nodded seriously and turned toward the tv.
"He was in Los Angeles that week," Tim replied, "Weird coincidence, huh?"
"What are you getting at, Tim?" I asked.
"Nothing, I'm just a big fan of Robin. I always ask," Tim whispered. I took a deep breath. "I'm coming on too strong, huh?
"A little," I replied as I opened my history book and filled out my worksheet. It took me an hour to finish my homework before I asked Tim to call me a cab.
Tim seemed sad at first, but he called the cab anyway. When the cab got there, he lingered out front with me. "Hey, um-."
"Thanks for everything, Tim. Can we do this again?" I asked. Tim grinned. I didn't want to admit it, but it was the first time I'd felt normal since the accident. I didn't want to let that feeling go. I opened the door and waved at Tim before heading home.
As soon as I got home, Bruce came out of the manor fuming. He waited until I reached the front door to start in on me. "Where the hell have you been?" Bruce asked, whispering through clenched teeth.
"I got my glasses, ate, and did my homework... How are you?" I asked.
"I was worried-. Did you ask me how I was?" Bruce questioned. I nodded. I never asked him how he was. I think my sincerity shocked him. I offered an awkward smile. "I'm alright... How are you?"
"I'm good... I think-. Yeah, I'm good," I smiled. Bruce let me in, and I took the stairlift without argument. I didn't even have to argue with him. I chose peace and peace felt... Kinda nice.
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angelmush · 2 months ago
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hi molly, you inspire me so much, thank you for being you. im about to move to a new city by myself for the first time and im scared. how did you build your life into one you loved? how do i meet people? i want so many things but sometimes they seem so far out of reach!! anyway, wishing you well and it always makes me happy to come visit your page and see you living life so fully :)
hello sweet anon!! sorry i am just getting to this, i was out of town for a few days and have been pretty offline in general lately. to be honest, i feel really really really underqualified to answer any questions about meeting people and making friends, as it is something that has never come easily to me, but i will do my best because i am SO excited for you!! moving somewhere new can be really healing!! i also want to gently remind you that social media-- even tumbr --is a highlight reel.
building my life into one i loved.
i think it's a few things.
it's a skill to find excitement about small things. delicious meals, nice weather, cute animals. being intentional about noticing and allowing yourself to feel excited about the little stuff does some kind of magic in your brain, and in appreciating your life in general. i am not naturally gifted at this whatsoever, but it's a muscle that takes practice to build, like anything.
i also dedicate a LOT of my free time to hobbies. right now it's mostly knitting, but often it's cooking and training my dog as well. watching movies and talking about them with people. spending time decorating the house. i'm very very very much a homebody, often to my detriment. it is monumentally difficult for me to take the first steps to leave the house to do things, even fun things, but once i do i am almost always better for it.
one sort of silly way i have helped to mitigate this, is that my girlfriend and i have started making seasonal bucket lists and magnetizing them onto our fridge. it turns it into sort of a game i guess, and it makes me feel accomplished to cross things off. we did really really well with ours this summer! we have three sections, small things (make smoothies, try a new dinner recipe, make a playlist), medium things (take the dog to the lake, see a movie in the theater, have drinks on a patio), and large things (go camping, go to pride, celebrate my birthday), etc. we just made our fall/winter one and i'm already sooooo excited for it!! it helped me to have a reason to leave the house while we were still getting our bearings in this new city.
i also have limited my social media time more recently on all apps except tumblr and pinterest to 15 minutes per day total. this helps me feel so much less frantic and it's easier for me to stay present than it used to be.
i also started taking medication! it's been a really big piece of the puzzle for me, personally. it helps my baseline be significantly more resilient and regulated and stable. it isn't a singular fix, but it opens up more space for that joy.
as far as meeting people goes, i will let you know when i figure it out LOL. im someone that needs a lot of quiet alone time to function and so i spend a lot of time with myself. i am still learning how to make the bridge from casual friends to a deeper and more meaningful friendship with the people ive met since moving here last august, and it's been a very clumsy imperfect process.
i'm sure this probably wasn't all that helpful haha it felt disjointed to write, and like i said, i am severely underqualified to give advice on this topic. but these are a handful of things i think have helped me in the last year, so hopefully there's something you can take from it!! wishing you all the luck and joy and wonder on your endeavors!! you can send me an ask anytime!! <33
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foxgloveinspace · 2 days ago
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hi hi hi!!
i feel like it’s been so long since i’ve stopped by
i am here to share that i have been blessed with the stupidest possible dreams with the sleepy t boys lately
1) glad to have them back in my brain like this it’s always fun and 2) wtf brain could we not do the dumbest situations?
the first one was from today and omg. so i dreamt that i went home to visit my dad and his family was down because it was christmas? guess i’m looking forward to the holidays lol. anyways my dad somehow found a documentary on sleep token on tv and put it on because “hey my kid likes them” and for some reason it was filmed/presented like a true crime doc? and straight up exposed all the boys. names, faces, interviews. and my whole family made fun of me the whole time because i tried so hard to not have their identities spoiled even with this stupid documentary on 😂 and i succeeded! somehow! although i do remember this- iv’s accent was so fucking bizarre i’m not sure i could ever tell you where my brain pulled it from. and someone was named nat but i have no idea who lmaooo
the other dream was that the band for some reason came to my city? (idk why, this place is ass and we have no venue big enough for them) and for some reason i was tasked with like, showing them around and helping them acclimate to the city. so what’s the first thing dream-exie does? take them to buy weed and go to their favourite local bar for a show 😂 we got absolutely blitzed outside the bar and then went in and had an absolute rager to some local bands. and now i want that to be real so bad… (and also shotgunning the joint with iii🙈… iii was a menace and dream me was all too willing to encourage. lmao i feel so weird admitting that my brain made that up because it feels too horny lmao)
anyways. that’s what my head has been up to! other than aura migraines lmao. i hope you’ve been well!!! 🩶🩶🩶
Exie!!! I thought I answered this, I'm sorry!! Thank you for telling me about these dreams, they are so great, lol. I really haven't even had any memorable dreams, much less sleep token ones. Would love to have a sleep token dream again. I wonder if your one with the documentary was inspired by the recent Instagram vids lmao, those crack me up??? found footage sleep token, lmao. I also love that you got to show them around to your favorite places. (no comment on the shotgunning besides like, what I would be like irl, which is a big thumbs up, lmao)
This next bit got... long. Sorry for my ADHD fingers and ramblings about migraines, I only realized I've had them my whole life last May, so. I give all my tips lol.
Sorry to hear about your migraines, I actually had one when you sent me this ask off. I read your post about it, I've only had mine completely block my vision once, but it was because of some bad smells. I completely lost my vision, but it was still purple, not all black??? My visual impairments/visual aura's are splotches of neon purple and green, moving in my vision like waves. sometimes they can be gold and black, but it's usually the green and purple.
I find fast acting/extra strength Tylenol works really good for migraines. I also keep liquid IV in my bag, cause that helps too (if you have a migraine you want to avoid artificial sweeteners, and liquid IV has cane sugar in it, while most other electrolyte drink mixes do not.)
I find that using a wet washcloth on my forehead/point of pain works way better then an ice pack cause you can keep flipping the washcloth over and the side not against your skin will keep cooling off, where an ice pack will melt.
I have seen some videos/read about putting your feet in hot water when you have one, and that supposedly helps??? I have yet to try it, but it sounds soothing.
Sorry this became me info dumping about migraine stuff. Just don't want you too be in pain/I have tips. Mine have been pretty bad this year, tbh. I had one for 2 weeks back in March, and I probably should have gone to the doctor, but I realized I just.... can't binge video games anymore after it was gone, oof.
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lovebvni · 1 year ago
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the truth is this
the universe will never leave you half way. sure, they may test you but they would never just leave you in a ditch. they leave to go get equipment, supplies to help you.
yes, this may be a long time waiting. sure, you may lose hope that they’ll come back for you eventually.
prophecies are an example of this.
being told, or even knowing, that something is about to happen and then it not happening immediately is discouraging. personally, a while ago i was told two specific things will happen before me and nile shift. the first being someone i know getting into a fight at school, the second being nile meeting their new man (im so serious, bro) so, the first one already happened.
two of my school friends got into a fight, and they resolved it quite well with my help. this happened about two weeks ago, i want to say. nile and i were told about this through a cartomancy reading in late october. to be honest, i was really shocked and i thought the fight was going to be between me and three other girls 🤷 thank god it wasn’t!!
lmao, anyways now we’re just waiting on nile’s end to happen. and yeah, personally i have been getting discouraged and worried about it. i have thought “maybe this isn’t going to happen” but then why the hell would he get this far? why would only half of what we’re promised happened? it doesn’t make any sense does it?
it’s like a teacher saying “we’re going to learn unit one and then unit two” why would they back up on their word to teach unit two? it doesn’t make sense. if a human being will keep their word (going from 1 -> 2) why the hell would the universe do anything less? if not more!
and let’s be real here, sometimes teachers take longer for a unit than expected. but they’ll still move onto the next unit! i mean it’s required for them to teach and for us to learn.
overall, after all that rambling and talking about school compared to the universe, what i’m saying is the end goal is promised. if you’re told something will happen from the universe, or from some sort of guide/medium, you better believe it. even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit of belief and hope, that’s all you need.
Matthew 17:20-21 — “For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”
big things can happen with little faith. i’m an example of this. i’m a child of an alcoholic father and a neurodivergent mother — who has had a few mental breakdowns with me and my sister. the odds are stacked against me. i’ve been doxxed, i’ve been threatened, im supposed to be a drug addicted and drop out right now. but here i am — im still in school, ive vowed not to drink (become an alcoholic), i live safely in my home. i have a lot going for me right now.
anyways, all im saying is that all you need is a little bit of faith, a little bit of hope to reach your goal. you will get to your goal, and listen to your intuition. you’re going to get there
damn this was more of a ramble than a motivation post 💀 my bad
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semiotomatics · 1 year ago
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putting my "personal spewage" tag to good use
so this week has been. good. like really good. ive been sleeping so much better (like, ive been able to fall asleep in under 30 minutes for the last 3 nights!! and have stayed asleep for 10 solid hours every night!! thats unprecedented!!!) and feeling less stressed (still stressed, but less stressed) and have had more energy (tho that could just be the coffee ive been drinking lol) and just generally feeling good. like, i had an idk ~a ha moment the other day where i realized theres a difference between my mood and my function. bc, altho historically both my mood and my function have been low, lately only my function has been low. and it still is, im still struggling to do even basic self-care/body maintenance/just general life tasks, but ive been getting better at it (ive eaten at least one full meal a day! i brushed my teeth for no other reason than because i knew i needed to!) and not wanting to die has really helped with that. it still feels way too early to declare a victory and i have major stressors on the horizon that im waiting to see how they will affect me, cause im kind of in a stressor lull right now (money's okay, family's okay, work's okay, etc) which i keep thinking is why im feeling relatively okay, but still. i feel okay. thats amazing. tho its also kinda terrifying and i keep thinking "oh god i feel okay does that mean i have to go back to work what if i freak out again what if i cant handle it" etc etc but like. i keep reminding myself i dont have to go back to work until im legitimately ready to go back, no ones going to force me to go back when im not ready to, and im hoping to go back part-time anyway so that its easier on me, which will help, so. yeah. hopefully it'll be okay.
but anyway, im just so excited at some of the thoughts and feelings ive had recently. mental illness is so good at making you forget what it feels like to be happy and healthy and alive and in love with the world. i had been stuck in that dark cloud for so long, and i still don't feel like the skies are totally clear, but im seeing hints of blue through the grey and its amazing. i want to love being alive. i want to look forward to my future. i want to be happy. i really really hope this lasts and i get to just be happy.
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thegeminisage · 10 months ago
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i don't know how i'm supposed to simply do a tng update when there was SPOCK but obviously last night (tonight as i type this, but it's late, so this post is going up while i'm at work) we watched unification part i & part ii
tng update:
🌈SPOCK🌈
okay, i'm normal again
part i: BITTERLY disappointed that all we got out of this episode spockwise was one blurry photo and him coming in right at the end. i had a feeling they'd do that. i guess now i have to talk about the nonimportant nonspock parts of this episode 🥱
ive decided i hate sarek's new wife. what business is it of hers if spock objects to sarek in public? if sarek didn't have a problem with it why make one? evil stepmother fr. why did sarek marry another human anyway does he have a fucking fetish or something...at least she was too old to get knocked up. i was reading about ages on the wiki today and amanda was only TWENTY YEARS OLD when she had spock. sarek would have been 65. i know vulcans age way different so it's not as creepy but STILL. girl, wait until you are old enough to drink
speaking of sarek...i went back and forth feeling terrible for him and wanting to attack him with my bare hands. under one hand he is on his deathbed and obviously very ill and miserable and suffering deep regrets over past mistakes and it's hard not to have sympathy...on the other, maybe if you wanted less deathbed regrets about your relationship with spock YOU SHOULD HAVE TREATED HIM BETTER! bitch.
also, whatever he and picard had going on was homoerotic. "we're part of each other" why do they talk about the mind meld that way in tng and not in tos. why did picard feel up sarek's hand on his deathbed the second his wife looked away. hes got a history of homewrecking since he (i know) had his affair baby wesley with beverly. so Whats Going On
picard forcefully obtaining the klingon ship. i LOVE when he gets to be a bitch
ROMULAN RACEFAKING??? a proud star trek tradition at this point i guess but it was truly awful to behold. DEEPLY disappointed sela did not later lick the paint off his ears as the klingons implied she would. smh
i like also how riker blew up that whole ship and nobody batted an eyelash. he really can just do whatever
part ii: SPOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the first time i cried was when spock himself came onscreen at the end of part i. then just as soon as i collected myself he mentioned jim kirk twice in the space of 30 seconds and i lost it again. we are literally bridging the gap between tos spock and spock prime from aos rn and i Dont like it.
Very Sad his dad kicked it before they could reconcile. but i saw his microexpressions when picard delivered the news. i missed them more than you can possibly imagine
i did love though that he started viewing picard as like a proxy sarek. imagine having daddy issues with a guy who is 75 years younger than you. lowkey they also had a little homoeroticism happening. "cowboy diplomacy" sure whatever
riker and the four-armed pianist 10/10 i hope they fucked. i'm so glad we wont he riker roulette and it wasn't creepy. also only riker could successfully flirt with a women after killing her husband in a spaceship battle <3
i'm a little iffy on spock's uhhh whole deal in this episode. he's lik yeah i chose the vulcan way of life these romulans are gonna have way better lives after their vulcan enlightenment but meanwhile he's criticizing sarek for his obsession with logic to the exclusion of all emotion (which is what he decided in tmp, that you need both) and also the vulcan way of life has done huge damage to his relationship with his father as well. so which is it?? idk, maybe he's not doing well because of sarek dying and all but he seemed like he was in a very "im not willing to acknowledge that i have emotions because rn theyre causing me pain" sort of mood. buddy :(
then again, it IS a tng script. we can only expect so much. it wasn't so inconsistent that it took me out of the episode but it did bother me a little because i just don't understand why he's willing to devote the rest of his life to this cause...he seemed to imply he had emotional reasons but what were they?? we will quite literally never know.
what's wack to me also is that in nineteen years romulus is gonna be GONE. like it's just going to be gone. eaten up by the sun or whatever. if someone had a baby right now on romulus that baby would not be old enough to drink before the sun swallowed them. so everything spock is doing is for nothing.
sela in this episode was really funny. "i hate vulcans." so true queen. i mean i don't care about her at all but that was hilarious
data doing the vulcan nerve pinch!!!!!!! that was so fun. i don't think it requires telepathy to do, just super strength, but i guess if you do then that makes no sense. it made me happy though.
the end when spock melded with picard to quasi-meld with his father and almost wept was me crying for the third time...i couldn't stand seeing him cry!!!!!! i can't believe sarek really just died without ever reconciling with him but i kind of like it better this way bc what sarek did was his own fault not spock's. so spock got closure and sarek. didn't. rip dude
okay. this concludes. the SPOCK UPDATE. tonight: a matter of time. and TOMORROW........the undiscovered country. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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definitelynotshouting · 11 months ago
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Do not apologise at all for responding late!! Holiday burnout is so real, theres sm to organise so I understand completely 😅. I hope youre getting some rest between xmas and the new year, or that at least whatever you have planned isnt too hard on you :)
I am 100% willing to believe you blessed my flight lmao, hopefully it works on the way back as well :D
Is it weird to say i dont think ive ever had a blackberry before?? Idk i might have had one when i was a kid but when you mentioned the blackberry jam I completely blanked. So um. Hope it was good?
Oh no your cat!! D: Hope he's all better now
YES I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MALAYSIAN FOOD!! I would show u pics but um 🧍->🏃‍♂️💨. Ur gonna have to google it king LOL. The first day back my dad and I went out to a mamak stall (basically just a restaurant for malay-chinese-indian food), and I had roti canai (a type of flatbread with curry) and teh tarik, which I have missed dearly. I dont typically like normal english breakfast tea so getting to have authentic teh tarik was SO GOOD. Teh tarik (translating to "pulled tea") is made with condensed milk and gets its name from how after the drink is mixed it gets continuously poured over and over from one container to another until it gets super frothy.
I've also been getting reacquainted with my favourite fruits 🥰 that you cant get in Australia like mangosteen and jambu air (ai-yer). Mangos and dragon fruit you can get in australia but. um. Theyre bad. They just taste like sweet water. Also unfortunately for me rambutan i havent been able to find rambutan 😔😔. Those look similar to lychee but they taste pretty different, less tangy and sweeter.
Ive gone out with a friend to have cendol (c promounced as a "ch") which is a cold desert with coconut milk and rice jelly, along with other toppings should you choose it. Im also in the process of convincing my bff to do a 3h road trip with me specifically for food in a city called Ipoh 😭 wish me luck.
AND, im getting one of my relatives to teach me how to make rendang and char kway teow. The rendang specifically because the one she makes i prefer over what's usually made in restuarants. I think it's a state difference in recipes or smtg? So the ones you'll find in restuarants are KL/Selangor rendang and she makes from Kedah. Thats just a theory tho im not actually sure.
🧍 i realise this ask has become like 70% about food so i apologise. But. In my defense you asked >:) /j
ANYWAY. I hope youve gotten a break from the holiday work or at least have one coming up <33 Take care of yourself; indulge in your cheeses :D
-☀️
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SUN ANON HELLOOOOOO im so excited to hear you got those desserts, those sound AMAZING...... also i looked up all the foods you mentioned and MAN THESE LOOK GOOD.... im a shrimp lover im gazing so hard at the char kway teow...... 👀👀👀👀👀 also holy shit these fruits look so cool???? Thats WILD ive literally never heard of these before and im having a lot of fun looking them up online and reading about their flavours and stuff!!!! Incredibly curious about mangosteen, i was not expecting it to be white inside when i looked it up and just like, the contrast of the purplish rind vs the white insides is SO neat to look at, like that feels really good on my eyeballs if that makes sense JSDBEKDNMDD also also teh tarik sounds and looks amazing i want to try that SO bad now omg
Its so funny you say that about blackberries bc where i live we have them literally growing everywhere on the side of the road AKDNWKDNKWDN in the summer when they start putting out fruit one of my roommates will sometimes go out and just pick a bunch for the whole household, and they always taste SOOOOO much better than the store-bought ones. Im genuinely not sure how to describe the taste of blackberry other than like. Its very sweet but also very tart (i go for the slightly less ripe ones tbh bc i prefer tart things to super sweet) at the same time, and sorta pops in your mouth a little bit when you chew it. Honestly its one of my favorite fruits i would highly recommend them if you can find em anywhere!!!!
My resolution this year is a bit silly but i wanted to go for a very fun easy one, so its to use every sticker i own this year :] ive already started by putting a few on the creeper minifridge that my roomie got me for xmas 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and i have some scrapbook ideas as well to use my fancier ones that my friends have gotten me!!!! Also you are so valid about the writing-- tbh if you wrote more than expected then it sounds like you succeeded instead of failed, so thats awesome!!! :DDD
I hope you're doing well on your travels, sun anon!! And when the time comes may your flight back to Australia be as peaceful and pleasant as the one you experienced when you left it :]
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lettuce-seize-the-day · 4 years ago
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yeah idk whats wrong w me lately :/
#shut up hanna#ed cw#health stuff below#not gross this time tho#ok so like......ive been in a calorie deficit since 2013#lost a lot of weight. then hit a plateau that no matter how much or how little i eat#i dont lose any more#and ive made my peace w that more or less (i just dont think abt my body at all bc i dont like it but its better than actively hating it)#but im still generally in a calorie deficit bc my hunger cues are gone#and bc when i get depressive episodes i dont binge eat i completely stop eating just bc no appetite whatsoever#so thats been going on for 7-8 years now#but lately ive been feeling so so so sick. like just in general very very nauseous#and always exhausted like so fatigued but cant sleep more than 3 consecutive hours even w nyquil#and im rlly thirsty even tho i drink like at least 5-6 water bottles a day (~80 fl oz) and my pee is clear#my period is later and later every month my cycle was 24 days for 9 years and suddenly around September#it just keeps happening less and less like it was 2-3 weeks late one time and the time between keeps getting longer#this is a very recent development so idk like?? if its my diet?? or if smth is wrong w me in a health way???#and ive got heart palpitations sometimes which ive had for awhile on and off but they had been off for awhile :(#anyway i genuinely dont know whats wrong w me or if its all leftover covid stuff but i havent seen anyone have these symptoms#o yeah and then there was the other thing i posted abt the other day that was gross but im fine now#but yeah :/ my tummy sometimes just cramps up so fkng bad and i think im gonna throw up but i dont#anyways all this to say. anyone experience Anything like this??#esp if u have a history of an ed of any kind?? i cant find anything v helpful online :/#bc nausea and fatigue are symptoms of Everything but ive been in quarantine for 2 months now and its been going on for awhile#just suddenly getting much worse :(#do i just need more vegetables and vitamins???
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animereaderinsertwriter · 3 years ago
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Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)
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Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV (in progress)
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?
Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.
Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.
Ao3 link here
Part I
A lamb in a den of lions, he thought, watching the newcomer as she settled in, ordering whiskey neat. A fool, for sure.
A fool she may be, perhaps, but even fools could be dangerous. Eren had known that the young woman was a Hunter from the moment she entered the bar (everyone else had, too) but something told Eren that she was hardly cut from the same cloth as the average Bane of Creatures. There was something in her movements— a predatory grace in her stride, perhaps, or a stiff, straight posture, with muscles tensed and ready for action— that betrayed her power to him; but for all that, she really was lovely, and the image of a rabbit caught in a patch of bramble came to mind whenever he looked at her.
Sitting in a corner, drinking his B-neg, he watched the woman as she sipped her drink, checking over her shoulder now and then. She was wary— as anyone with good sense would be— but she didn't appear frightened, and Eren's curiosity was piqued. It wasn't every day that someone so bold happened across his path, and it became harder and harder for him to resist the urge to approach her.
Eventually, Eren gave in to his curiosity— he never had been very good at or even particularly fond of restraining himself— and when he came silently up behind her, the newcomer didn't even notice his presence until he murmured a greeting close to her ear.
"Hello, little love," he said, and she startled in her seat. "Are you lost?"
She turned around then, her eyes big and bright in the dim lighting of the bar, but by the time she managed to look at the spot where Eren would have been, he was already seated on the barstool beside her. Eventually, though, her eyes found his, and when their gazes met, Eren was amused to find no fear in her visage.
"Far from it," she told him, turning her body towards him. "I am precisely where I mean to be."
Eren blinked, nonplussed.
"Curious," he said, leaning forward so that she could see the sharpness of his teeth as he spoke. "Do you fancy yourself a wolf among sheep, little Hunter? Did you really not think we would know you for what you are the moment you crossed the threshold of this place?"
Any normal, human ear would have missed the way her heart leapt in her chest, but Eren missed nothing. The fear he had hoped to inspire in her was present after all, but her face never moved from its impenetrable mask— an affectation that was somehow both soft and steely at once.
"That's not what I'm here for," she told him, widening the distance between her knees as she readjusted on the stool. "I'm here to discover the truth."
The truth— what an odd notion!— and yet Eren sensed no lie in her.
"You're a strange one," he told her, but forced himself to relax his posture to appear lazy, almost drunk. "Most Hunters— even ones so pretty as yourself— shoot first and worry about the truth later. What's your name?"
Her nose crinkled. "It's polite to give your own first."
Sharp, he thought, watching her closely. Names have power.
"Eren Jaeger."
"Eren Jaeger," she echoed, then extended her hand. "My name is (Y/N)."
That name sounded familiar to Eren— and though most names did after living a few centuries, this one seemed to hit closer to home. He knew that name, and knew it well…
"What's your surname?"
(Y/N)'s eyes flashed with an emotion that Eren didn't catch.
"Kirschtein," she replied, averting her eyes. "I'm Jean Kirschtein's great-great-great granddaughter."
And damn if Eren didn't want to laugh. Perhaps his nosiness into the posterity of his old acquaintances really was as bad of an idea as Armin always seemed to imply.
"I see," he said, and he truly, truly did. "Then you know who I am— what I am— and what I've done."
More than that, if she truly did know who he was, it was unlikely that she had come without a specific purpose in mind.
(Y/N) nodded, confirming his suspicions. "I was digging around in my family history and— well— I read what my grandfather wrote, and I just— I wanted the truth."
So wide-eyed, so innocent— so alive. Eren could see now her resemblance to Jean; if they were not similar in looks, she had his sharpness, his humanness… and, as he always had Jean, Eren envied her for it.
"If that's the case, then I'm sure you know that you don't get something for nothing," he told her, sipping his drink just to watch the expression on her face as he let the warm blood slide down his throat. "And that dealings with me can be dangerous."
"Jean Kirschtein loved you, Eren Jaeger," she told him fiercely and with such conviction that Eren nearly choked on his drink. "To take such a tone with me, to threaten me, the last living remnant of him, is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard."
Eren was about to say that he didn't owe her, Jean Kirschtein, or anyone else any sort of respect, but she plowed on, unwilling to let him say his piece.
"You broke his heart a million ways by doing what you did, but— but he was your friend through all of it, no matter what side each of you were on," (Y/N) continued, passion aflame in her eyes. "I can't even imagine what inspired such a love, such a loyalty from him that he would forgive you for the horrors you caused. That's what I'm here to find out— what you have that a man such as him would find you redeemable."
The reproof in her words stung, but Eren was too old to argue. She could never understand what it was like back then.
"I understand more than you think," she snapped, and Eren actually flinched. "I understand that you hurt the woman my grandfather loved immeasurably, and that he forgave you for that even though he never even particularly liked you. I understand that you were ready to sacrifice the world for that selfsame woman, for Jean, and for all the others. I understand that you're a monster who loved and was loved back, but I want to know why."
How? Eren thought, shaken.
How had she known his thoughts? It was as though she had seen straight through to his innermost being.
Without speaking, she answered his question. (Y/N) took a hand and rolled up her left sleeve, presenting to him a scarred marking in the shape of a pentagram.
"My grandfather didn't settle down with just anyone," she told him, holding his gaze. "I come from a line of powerful witches, all of whom possessed strong claircognizance. Paired with my nature as an empath, you can assume I know what you're going to say before you say it."
Eren hummed, trying to appear less perturbed than he was.
"And yet you hunt Creatures for a living; strange, since you're practically one of us yourself."
(Y/N) glowered. "I hunt monsters that prey on my people, not Creatures. No innocent has died by my hand."
The unlike you went unsaid, but that didn't mean that Eren didn't hear it anyway.
"Don't get high-and-mighty with me, girl," he told her roughly. "Knowing is one thing, but experiencing what we experienced is another."
"I'm not here to judge you," she replied. "I told you, I'm here for truth, nothing more."
"And I told you that the truth doesn't come for free," he told her darkly. "You must give me something in return."
(Y/N) set her jaw.
"What would you have of me?"
It was a mean, base request. Eren was wicked for even thinking it, and vile for wanting it— but looking at the great-to-however-many-degrees granddaughter of a good man that he had once known, seeing the vitality that brought a flush to her cheeks and thumping to her heart, he knew he couldn't pass up this golden opportunity.
It had been so long since he'd had a Companion.
"Become my cupbearer for six moons," he told her, crossing his arms. "Starting with tonight, the moon becomes new; let me drink from you until six of these have passed, and along the way, you will learn what you want to know."
(Y/N) eyed him warily.
"Can you assure my physical safety?"
Eren grunted, almost amused. It was a bit late to be worrying about that.
"I think you know that I can."
"And will you let me continue in my duties as a Hunter?" she asked, her eyes searching his own as if she would find the answer to her question there inside the same eyes he'd had since he was nineteen. "Completely uninhibited?"
"That depends. Will you kill Creatures in the discharge of your duties?"
(Y/N) made a face. Eren had forgotten how expressive mortals could be, but he found that being reminded was not altogether unpleasant.
"You know I will," she replied, "But you have my word that any killing won't be unprovoked."
Eren supposed it was as close to a compromise as he could expect.
"As you wish it, so shall it be."
He turned away, signaling to the bartender for another drink, but a lightning-fast hand shot out to grab his wrist.
"Swear it," she demanded. "I need us to be Bound by it."
The meanness in Eren finally won over. He reached forward, grabbing (Y/N) by the neck, and the silver rings on her fingers burned him as she pulled at his hand to try and restore her breath. Eyes from all around the room were on the two of them— had been, since the very beginning— but it was only once the Hunter before him began to look appropriately humbled that he withdrew.
"Do not touch me without my permission," he said, "And I will return the favor."
(Y/N) looked at him then, but there was still no fear in her eyes. Anger, yes, but no fear.
She must be mad, or foolish one, he thought, considering her for a moment. I always have been partial to mad fools in general, but…
Something about her seemed different, and Eren didn't know what to do other than accept what she had to offer. Heavens knew he was getting the better end of the deal anyway.
"Swear it," she repeated, this time more quietly. "Give your word, and I will be your cupbearer."
Eren brought his hand up and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. At his will, the nail tip of his forefinger sharpened, hardening into a point; he used it to draw an 'X' onto the skin just over where his heart rested inside his chest, cold and dead. Blood welled into the cut— precious little, compared to that of a human, but still enough to run down his chest in smudges— and it was by that blood that he swore. He spoke the terms of their agreement, then took the blood from his wound with the pad of his finger and marked the same spot over (Y/N)'s own heart.
"Satisfied?" he asked, their faces almost touching, and (Y/N) shivered.
"Yes."
Her warm, living breath fanned over his face with her reply, and Eren took the moment to close his eyes and appreciate the scent and sensation of it.
"You may think you're satisfied," he told her, pulling away, "But you don't know the meaning of the word."
She eyed him warily, but before she could speak, he added, "In six months' time, I'll ask you the same question, and it is then that you will truly know what it is to feel satisfied— satiated in every way."
"As you say."
It was a throwaway comment, nothing more than a dismissal, really; but Eren felt like it was the start of something truly remarkable.
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chloe-online · 3 years ago
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you're making me want some stuff about karl with a teenage daughter or son, mayhaps he has fraternal twins and they're now GROWN. like. what kinda dad would he be to his teens in your eyes? 😳
im sorry this took so damn long. i have a commitment issue when it comes to writing, I have like 12 drafts just sitting waiting for me to finish them. I'm sorry if this isn't what u wanted either. i hope you enjoy anyway!
i think hed be a great father nonetheless but something in me is telling me he'd treat his daughter differently than if he had sons. I'll write for both in the form of headcanons because i haven't been writing and I feel bad.
Fraternal Daughters:
- he'd love his daughter literally so fucking much omfg. like more than alcina loves hers.
- he'd be protective over them but to an extent, they're allowed to live their teenage lives but they just have to be careful.
- he wouldn't force them to stay away from boys, but he does want to meet any boyfriends they do have, and he wants you to be careful. make sure that they arent being used, and hed always ask them how their relationship is.
- he would want them to stay away from drinking. especially at parties, he fears of what would happen if they drank too much and some asshole used her. of course when they're in their late teens (16, 17ish) he'd love to be able to sit down and have a few drinks with them.
- he would definitely be in on a lot of tea parties, and hed be playing with a concerning amount of dolls, but his daughters always have amazing ideas when it comes to playing with dolls.
- KARL IS AMAZING AT TUCKING IN HIS DAUGHTERS AND GIVING THEM A GOOD NIGHT KISS ON THE FOREHEAD OMGGVYG
- depending on their personalities hed be a little dork by teasing them, and saying snarky things, but if they arent the type that welcomes that kind of behaviour that's fine too.
- he loves his daughters so much and he expresses that by hugging them, feeding them, playing with them, spoiling them with homemade toys, taking them on wild adventures, and just helping them grow into strong, capable adults. he's quite amazing.
Fraternal Sons:
- while a lot of what has been said for the daughters counts for his sons they'd still get treated differently.
- HE STILL LOVES HIS SONS SO MUCH LIKE MORE THAN ALCINA AND HER DAUGHTERSSS HGVBRJE
- again he's a protective guy, so hed let them ride out their teen years while placing down some rules.
- he wouldn't encourage them to go out and date girls but he'd be accepting just as long as they are old enough to understand what love really is. again he wants them to be careful, he wouldn't want his boys taken advantage of. he wants to meet any girlfriends of course and would ask how their relationship is going.
- again, stay away from drinking at parties. karl knows how neglected guys were to sexual assault so he wanted to make sure his sons were safe. drinking at home with him and his wife would be allowed, encouraged even.
- he would be watching a lot of superhero movies and playing with a crapton of action figures. he would melt when/if his sons were to make drawings and stories about him being a superhero and his metal powers were his superpowers. hed feel less insecure.
- karl would make things for them out of metal for sure, and hed buy things for them that he couldn't make. he def plays catch with both his sons.
- he'd be a tease and tease them in a very loving way, but if they didn't like it he would stop immediately.
- he really loves his sons and would be doing his best to help them with any bottled up feelings and mold them into adults.
either or:
- no matter the gender he will spoil them. he wants them to be happy.
- he will take care of you in anyway he needs to. his children are his little bundles of joy.
- he will help them study for school. he'll even teach himself how to do whatever they're learning so he can help.
- their mental health will be worked off if its bad. no question about it.
-he WILL NOT tolerate any use of illegal substances. same with any crimes. he refuses to raise a criminal. but he will try his best to help them stop doing whatever illegal thing they're doing but he'll only go so far after getting pushed away multiple times.
- he'll love his children no matter what, nothing can change that <3
IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. idk why but ive been unmotivated to write. this was written over the span of a few days and I was very distracted so if its kinda all over the place apologize. i hope u enjoyed!
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bouncyirwin · 4 years ago
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So after reading Knock Knock, Let the Devil in again (I can’t praise you enough with how good that story is ♥️) and I’m so invested in the the dynamic between Shikamaru, Sakura, and Kakashi!
And because I have a question (and I hope I’m not bothering you by asking this 😭) how do you think Kakashi and Shikamaru would react if Sakura either came back from a mission seriously injured or if they found her seriously injured from a mission?
Hiii, thank you so much for this ask, I’m always so ready to gush about these three!
When I read this ask, inspiration quite literally slammed into me and I churned this out in a sprint session. Oops.
Word Count: 2,126 words
I present to you a one-shot in the knock knock-verse.
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It was too early in the day to function, yet Shikamaru was in the Hokage’s office bustling about, feeling only half-human as he guzzled on his third coffee. “Fuckin’ paperwork,” he muttered disdainfully at the sight of an ungodly pile marked with his name.
That had to violate some natural law. How this became Shikamaru’s routine was beyond him.
Once upon a time, he professed that his deepest wish was to lead a mediocre life. And here he was.
Tsunade showed up ten minutes late, visibly drunk and doing very little to conceal it. “Morning,” she tossed over her shoulder and made a beeline for the coffee machine.
“Hokage-sama,” Shikamaru said, studying the dark circles under her eyes and her ashen pallor. “You look …”
He clamped his mouth shut. Was it worth getting assigned a D-rank to let her know she looked like shit? Probably not.
“Save it kid, I know,” she waved a casual hand and slumped in her chair. “Couldn’t care less with the night I pulled.”
“Drinking again, Hokage-sama?” he inquired with polite interest.
“Ha,” she said. “I wish.”
When he raised an eyebrow, she elaborated, slumping even further in her chair. “Sakura,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “They brought her back yesterday.”
Shikamaru’s heart sank. “Brought her back?”
“Yes, there was an ambush and she was badly injured—cracked every one of her ribs, that idiot. And the hospital was out of B-positive blood so Shizune had to sit the healing session out to donate blood. Nearly ran myself dry trying to keep her breathing…” Tsunade was scrubbing at her face but Shikamaru wasn’t listening anymore—he could barely hear her over the deafening roar of his heartbeat.
“Is she alive?” he demanded once he found his voice. “Is she going to be okay?”
“Yes, but she’s going to need plenty of rest—” the rest of her sentence remained a mystery for Shikamaru tore out of the room with a single-minded focus.
In the space between heartbeats, rationality was tossed out of the window. It left behind a desperate and half-crazed person—he needed to see her, to hear her heartbeat, to see the lively green of her eyes and he wasn’t going to rest until it happened.
He burst through the hospital doors undoubtedly looking like he’d escaped an asylum. The nurse he cornered shot him a bewildered look. “Sir, are you—” she began to say when he cut her off.
“Haruno Sakura,” he demanded breathlessly. “Her room. Where can I find her?”
“Sir,” she attempted again, sounding a little exasperated. “Haruno-san just underwent extensive surgery, she’s not allowed visitors, only family members can see her.”
Shikamaru pinned her with a no-nonsense look. “Akane-san,” he read off her name tag. “By order of the Hokage, I’m here to see Haruno Sakura.”
Akane shuffled nervously. “Do you have an official slip?”
He arched an eyebrow at her, as if to say ‘really?’.
“I-I might get in trouble,” her eyes shifted unsurely. “I need to put you down as a relative and you’re… what would I mark you down as, sir?”
It occurred to him a second later that he was being a total ass. But rationality had already fled. He was now a mess of frayed nerves.
The toddler bawling in the background wasn’t helping his case, and neither was the frantic husband demanding to see his wife at the reception, babbling about … oh.
Shikamaru turned back to the nurse, and before he realised what he was saying, he blurted. “Her husband. Mark me down as her husband.”
Akane blinked. “Oh.”
Shikamaru stared her down, daring her to argue with him. But she simply nodded and scribbled something on her chart. “Right. Of course. Follow me.”
As they stalked through clinical hallways, Shikamaru’s heart rose in a crescendo, worry and nervousness swirling in his chest in a toxic mix. What would he see upon reaching her room? Was she in pain? Was she even lucid? Gods, what if she was in a coma? What if she’d hurt herself so irreparably that it cost her career?
His mind raced with sickly thoughts until his stomach roiled and his face tinged green.
Akane stopped at room 217 and there she was.
“Oh gods,” Shikamaru whispered.
She was hooked to so many wires. Oxygen tubes and an IV and a heart monitor and tubes he didn’t even recognise. She looked frail and broken, too small amidst white sheets and beeping monitors.
He heard Akane quietly slip out of the room and was glad for it because his knees nearly buckled.
Sakura wasn’t awake. Hell, she didn’t even look alive, her face so pale where it wasn’t bruised blue and purple.
Numbly, his feet carried him to her side, his breath a short and rapid thing that barely saturated his lungs.
There was blood caked beneath her fingernails and in the cracks of her lips. His eyes stung faintly as they slid over to the heart monitor.
It was too slow.
“Oh god,” he said again, every cell in his body congested with fear.
He was afraid to even reach out and touch her, lest she broke apart under his fingertips. Delicately, ever so delicately and with trembling fingers, he ghosted a light stroke across the apple of her cheek.
“Sakura…” he said feebly, wishing her eyes would just open.
Except they didn’t. And her heart monitor droned on sluggishly in the background, crawling heartbeats that served more in adding to his anxiety than diminishing it.
It was beating. But it wasn't beating enough. What if it stopped beating?
Shikamaru wasn’t prepared. She wasn’t allowed to die. Not yet. Not ever. He didn’t care what laws governed this cursed world, this was Sakura, she was spring incarnated, and she wasn’t allowed to die.
His fingers curled around her hand, and he wished for the first time in his life that he could heal. That he could bleed strength into her the way she did to him.
It was getting difficult to breathe. What if she died?
What then?
Fuck, he hadn’t even told her he loved her.
His vision swam, rendering the room a splash of colours and pink. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t breathe.
In the muddled daze of anxieties and fears, Shikamaru wished he had the foresight to grab Kakashi.
He’d never needed an anchor more than he did in that second.
*
Kakashi was having an incredibly shitty day.
His coffee machine broke down, he spilled tea over his mission report and he mixed a black shirt with his coloured laundry and now half of his clothes were beyond repair.
“Dammit,” he sighed, tossing his book aside. He couldn’t even read, busy as he was dwelling on his ruined laundry.
He took one dispassionate look at his soggy report and groaned. “What a mess,” he’d actually attempted to do this one on time. Served him right for breaking his routine.
Kakashi grabbed his weapons holster and stepped out for some much needed air. Maybe he should just turn in a tea-flavoured report—perhaps if he offered Tsuande a bottle of sake she’d make an exception and accept it.
He made a beeline to her office, remembering he was due for a debrief. But what he found upon his arrival wasn’t what he expected.
Tsunade was shouting to Shizune, clearly exasperated: “—and he just upped and left! I’m his Hokage, and he upped and left!”
“Maah…” Kakashi began unsurely.
Tsunade’s gaze cut to him. “Hatake, there you are,” she huffed. “I’m too fucking hungover for this. We’re one man down, I need someone to look over these reports.”
Kakashi frowned, finally noticing how empty her office looked. “Where’s Shikamaru…?”
“The idiot left,” Tsunade growled, raising goosebumps on his arms. “I told him I spent all night healing her, what did he think, that I’d leave her to die? Fucking hell.”
“Leave who to die?” Kakashi said, confused. “What happened?”
“Sakura happened,” Tsunade ranted tiredly. “They brought her back almost half dead, I’ve been patching her up for the better part of eight hours and this is how I’m rewarded.”
But Kakashi had stopped listening after ‘half dead’. Half dead? “Half … dead?” he echoed, his mouth dry.
No. This wasn’t happening.
This wasn’t happening.
“Yes,” Tsunade sighed. “But I operated on her and she’s going to be fine.”
Kakashi barely heard the words. His brain was a string of very adamant denial. No, no, no, no.
He didn’t want it to be true—all those years he had been certain, was so sure that it was him, that he was the reason the people he loved always died. That he was a curse to those he cared about.
Every person he loved came back in a body bag.
Fuck.
Kakashi turned tail, a sudden manic urge to see her rising unbearably in his chest. What if Tsunade was lying, what if Sakura wasn’t fine? What if she was fine, but she died anyway?
Fear pumped through his veins, rendering him dizzy. This was his worst nightmare come to life—how could he have forgotten that people, even those that could mend bones and heal what was broken, were so damn breakable?
His legs couldn’t carry him quickly enough.
He didn’t waste time interrogating the nurses for her whereabouts, he knew her scent like she was a part of him. It led him to her now, her unique sweetness tainted with blood and antiseptic.
Gods, he was going to be sick.
He nearly ripped the door off its hinges in his haste to get to her.
Shikamaru was already there, looking wrecked, looking worse than Kakashi had ever seen him. “Is she—”
He couldn’t even say it.
“They … they said they don’t know when she’ll wake up,” Shikamaru whispered hollowly.
Kakashi felt the ground crumbling beneath his feet. “No,” he whispered, leaning back against the wall when he teetered off balance.
His hip jarred against the doorknob but Kakashi barely registered the sting. Barely anything registered beyond the fear-terror-fear coursing through his veins like poison. “Please, no,” he said.
This couldn’t be happening again.
His father and Obito and Rin and Minato-sensei—hadn’t they been enough? Was Sakura going to be another name on the too long list of losses that haunted him?
He really was going to be sick. He clenched his jaw against the reflex, forcing his brain out of the dizzying tornado of anxieties. His gaze focused on Shikamaru, the only other person that mattered as much.
He didn’t look good at all, pale and shaking and appearing ready to fall apart.
The sight of him was strangely grounding.
Kakashi found his elusive strength, located his knees under him and was at his side in the next second.
“Shikamaru,” he rasped, clutching the other man’s arm.
“She looks dead,” Shikamaru whispered. “I … I …”
Words eluded him.
Kakashi tugged at his arm, drawing Shikamaru against him. He went without a fight, slumping against Kakashi’s chest like a puppet whose strings were cut.
“It’s going to be okay,” Kakashi lied, surprised by how much conviction he could bleed into it when it was for someone else’s benefit. “She’s going to be fine.”
Shikamaru shook in his hold, his shoulders minutely trembling. But just as suddenly, his body calmed down and he gripped tightly onto Kakashi’s middle. “What if she isn’t?”
“She will be,” Kakashi stressed because … anything else was not an option. “It’s Sakura. She punched a goddess in the face.”
Shikamaru let out a short, pained laugh against him. “Gods, don’t remind me; what a reckless idiot.”
“It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Kakashi confessed in a soft murmur against Shikamaru’s hair. He tightened his hold on him, drawing strength from the warmth of his body. “As beautiful as the two of you together.”
Lean fingers dug in his back. “I’m glad you’re here,” Shikamaru said sincerely. “I’m glad you came. Fuck, I think I’m gonna cry.”
“You can cry,” Kakashi soothed, sinking his fingers in lush, dark hair. “Hell, I might cry.”
Shikamaru let out a wet chuckle. “Yeah.”
Kakashi’s face bowed, nuzzling the side of his head as he took a shuddering breath. He clutched Shikamaru closely, his breath shallow and his heart a warbling mess in his chest.
He couldn’t think about if she died. He would die, then, if not from sorrow then from a broken psyche. It was easier to focus on the beeping machines and Shikamaru’s sure, thudding heart. Kakashi tuned in on every shuddering breath, his palm mapping his expanding ribs.
His focus narrowed down to his senses, to Shikamaru, to Sakura’s fighting, beating heart and prayed like he never had before.
She was going to be alright.
She had to be.
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rogue-durin-16 · 4 years ago
Text
THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part V/VII)
"the perfect excuse"
Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.
Pairing: George Weasley x Reader
Genre: angst mostly
Tags:
Suggested by: @crispykittywitch
Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadowss @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley19 @dianarte
Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa
Warnings: language, drinking, makeout getting spicy
A/N: idk what happened here, this was not planned I'm just horny ig??? Anyway have this part that was definitely not meant to unfold like this but hey, I'm not mad, so enjoy <3
Prologue: the aftermath
Part I: sleepless nights
Part II: candy floss
Part III: shock therapy
Part IV: wrong name
Part VI: the downfall
Part VII: apart
Epilogue: I still love you
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
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I checked myself in the mirror one last time before heading to the kitchen. There was no actual need of dressing up nicely, since we both would be spending New Year's Eve at the flat, but since Ginny, Ron, Harry and Hermione were coming, we decided to clean up for our guests.
"Hmm, smells good." I leaned on the doorframe, observing George finishing cooking.
"These past five months' messes paid off." He joked, grabbing a kitchen rag to clean his hands. "Can you keep an eye on it while I go get read..." He trailed off automatically when his gaze landed on me. "Woah— okay." He cleared his throat, eyes slightly widened at my outfit, and I couldn't help but enjoy a bit too much his attention. "You look really good— is that the new blouse?"
"Yup." I replied, a coy smile dancing on my lips as I stepped to him and picked the kitchen rag myself. "C'mon, go clean up nice for our guests."
It only took him a couple of minutes, since he might have had his suit ready.
"Mind lending a hand with the tie, love?" He requested, stepping into the kitchen with his attention on the shirt's cuffs which he was buttoning up.
Damn, he looked so good; it wasn't even fair.
"Y/n?" He chuckled, finally looking up.
"Uh— yeah! Sure." I threw the rag over the counter and led my hands to the tie, taking my time to make the knot; maybe I wanted an excuse to have my hands on him.
We stayed in silence until I was finished; it wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't comfortable either— it was, in fact, stifling.
"There you go." I more like whispered instead of talking, sliding my hands down his chest briefly. His eyebrows were knitted, trying to decipher my demeanor; his hands caught one of mines before they fell limply on my sides, and for a second, I thought he was about to do something really stupid —something I had wanted to do for the last three months—, but then the bell rang and we stepped away from each other, going to receive Ron and Hermione as if that moment hadn't happened at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GINNY'S P. O. V.
I took a sip of my brandy as we laughed at Ron's joke, my eyes drifting to Hermione and then to Y/n's lap, where Teddy rested, giggling and blabbering nonsense at George's hand movements and funny faces.
George had confided me quite ashamed that he fancied Y/n about two years ago, but I knew the looks he gave her were of something more than a little crush, if you may.
Had I not known Y/n, I would be worried she was projecting Fred onto the younger twin, but the girl knew better than that, so when we got to experience how their domestic life unfolded during New Year's Eve, I felt nothing but happiness at the way Y/n laughed at my brother's jokes, or how she stared at him in pure adoration as he played with Tonks's and Lupin's baby.
"You're getting him waaay too exited, mate." Harry chuckled, extending his arms for Y/n to hand him the toddler. "He needs to go to sleep."
Teddy, who we had put to sleep in Y/n's room shortly after dinner, had woken up right before the New Year came to us, and, since he refused to go back to sleep, Y/n took on the task of entertaining him. George joined as soon as he witnessed Teddy's hair going rainbow-like at Y/n's actions.
"Actually, I think we all need to go to sleep." I said, leaving the glass on the table.
"Boo, you're supposed to be the youngest!" Y/n whined, earning a laughter from the rest.
"Ginny's right, though." Ron stood up and all of us followed his lead. "It's really late and I don't want mum to see us drunk when she wakes up."
"Not a good impression to make on your future mother-in-law, oi, Granger?" George's tease made Hermione's cheeks flush, murmuring an 'idiot' before giving him a hug. "Take care, all of you." He added after he and Y/n had hugged everyone goodbye.
The five of us exited the flat and apparated in the Burrow's yard in silence until Harry asked, "are they together now?"
"We don't know." I confessed with a grimace.
"Well, together or not, they're definitely fucking."
"Ronald!" Hermione exclaimed, slapping her boyfriend's arm.
"I just said what everyone else's thinking." He defended himself, and none of us could deny it.
READER'S P. O. V.
We began to pick up the dirty plates, glasses and cutlery in order to take them to the sink and leave them there to wash them tomorrow.
"Oi, look what I found." George wiggled a firewhiskey bottle at me from the living room.
Without thinking twice, I grabbed the half empty ice cream tub I had just left over the counter, a couple of clean glasses, and I made my way to George.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"—and that was only in our... Third- no- fourth! year?" He finished the story, joining me in the giggling; I didn't doubt the story was funny, but I was sure it seemed ten times funnier because of the alcohol. "Wait- where were you back then?" He knitted his brows in confusion.
"A year below you." I laughed.
He snorted. "Below me," he took a look at his empty glass before reaching for the bottle with a laugh "hell, I wish."
I couldn't help but laugh too. "Sure you do." I wouldn't have laughed if I were sober, but then again I highly doubted he would have said that if he were sober. "Y'know- you can have me below you anytime you want, Georgie." I replied between lazy giggles, leaning on him so he would pour more firewhiskey into my glass too.
A loud snort left George, triggering one of my own. "Sure, darling." He loosened his tie and tossed it to the floor. "Why's it so hot in here?"
"Mmm... Must be 'cause of you." I threw my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Or... maybe's just the alcohol." I groaned at the feeling of my head spinning, and sat upright again to chunk the now full glass in one go. "I'm hot too."
"Oh darling... You can't even imagine how much— I mean... Every day— but tonight you look partic... particular...ly? Dashing." George was leaning back against the armchair's feet, his eyes closed, his cheeks flushed and an amused smile dancing on his lips. "Why must you be so bloody perfect?" I found myself staring a bit too much at the ginger. "There's still a conscious part of my brain that knows I shouldn't be saying this shit." An idle chuckle left his chest and one of his eyes peeked open. "I'm gonna blame the alcohol, aight?"
Right, the alcohol —The perfect excuse.
I laid my glass on the floor and got up, stumbling towards him. "Oi, careful— you don't wanna trip and fall." He laughed, steadying me with his hands as I plopped down on my knees besides him. "We won't make it to St. Mungo—" With one hand on his shoulder and one on his cheek, I went for it, cutting him mid-sentece in the process.
It was one hell of a sloppy kiss, and I was so concentrated on doing it right that I didn't even hear the moan I sent into his mouth.
What the hell are you doing?, My mind screamed.
I attempted to pull away, but I felt George's hands on my sides, clutching my clothes in his fists to tug me flush against him. I took the cue and did my best to climb onto his lap and straddle his legs without losing balance.
What we were doing felt terribly wrong, and, the morning after, we would regret this little slip so much, but in that exact moment I could only think that his lips tasted like fire whiskey, strawberry and chocolate, and that the quiet moans slipping through them between the kisses were loud enough to quiet down everything in my head.
I stopped to take a breath, resting my forehead against his; our eyes locked, pupils blown out.
Heavy pants left our lungs, as if we had just run a marathon. It felt like the kiss had made a bomb go off, one that we had unconsciously been building up those past months.
It took an instant of looking at each other to know we thought the same; we wouldn't get this opportunity ever again, so at that point, we might as well carry on and pray for it not to be too bad in the morning.
This time it was George who smashed his lips against mines, teeth clashing and tongues going in each other's mouths. The situation was escalating quick; a tad too quick, I daresay.
He cursed and mumbled something about too many clothes, proceeding to pull his shirt over his head with my help, given that he could only do so much with that amount of alcohol in his sistem.
I could do even less, though. It was proven when I first attempted to get rid of my blouse.
I struggled to unbutton it, an awkward, dizzy silence falling among us before his hands travelled to mines "Wait... Lemme..." He frowned, finding that simple task as frustratingly difficult as I did. "Bloody..." A browned off grunt left his swollen lips.
"Tear it." I mumbled, letting my hands roam over his chest.
"You sure?"
I hummed, somehow impatient. "We'll fix it tomorrow." I captured his lips once more.
We'd fix it tomorrow.
I felt his hands fisting my shirt by the cleavage before giving it a firm tug, making my gasp; I wasn't expecting all the buttons to come off in one go, given his drunken state.
I didn't even have time to discard the piece of clothing before his lips attacked my neck, shutting my brain off instantly due to the sensation.
"You want this?" He whispered in my ear, his hands going up from my thighs to my back until they reached the clasp of my bra.
Not trusting my voice, I nodded vigorously, making the world shake around me so hard that I had to shut my eyes.
I felt a feather kiss on my shoulder and his fingers unfastening the bra; he was doing his best to be smooth, which wasn't a lot, but I could tell he was trying hard.
"You're so sweet." I blurted out as his fingertips ghosted over my skin while he removed the top from my body.
He tried to reply something, but articulating kept getting harder and harder as we went deeper into it, so he gave up on words and so did I; at least until his fingers slid between my legs and started to tease me through the fabric of my remaining clothes.
"Bed." I whimpered, unconsciously rocking my hips against George's hand whilst my own travelled to his crotch, feeling his erection and consequently earning a moan from him.
"D'you think we'll make it?" He inquired, already retreating his hand briefly so we could stand up.
Soon enough we were stumbling to my room, hands all over each other, bumping against the furniture and walls due to not being able to stand upright.
When we fell on the bed and tossed the rest of our clothes to the floor, it began to dawn on me how bad this was going to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEORGE'S P. O. V.
My head was pounding violently in my skull; that's most likely the reason why I woke up. It took a moment for the blurry memories of the previous night to flash into my mind.
"You feel... so good..."
"Fuck- George— faster, please..."
"Y/n— I'm-"
"No." I shoot up, not acknowledging that Y/n was still asleep by my side. "Fuck no. Nononono." I ignored the terrible headache caused by the hungover and, grabbing my clothes, I exited the room. "No fucking way." I kept mumbling to myself, stalking to my dorm to throw on some fresh clothes.
I sat on my bed, my hands running through my locks, bringing back the memories of Y/n's tugs on them in the process.
"What the fuck did I do." I almost choked on the sentence.
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keilemlucent · 4 years ago
Text
lavender latte: iv
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1   ||   chapter 2  ||  chapter 3  ||  chapter 5  ||
word count: 7.7k
sucks when things go south, huh. 
warnings: description of bodily injury, blood, mild? gore (it’s just describing injury), description of overstimulation, capital h and c hurt/comfort
------
chapter 4 :’^) thank u for all of the love so far. i appreciate. every. single. one of. u. bottom of my lil rat heart.
this chapter was nearly split, but giving y’all a cliffhanger seemed mean  
this the turning point and set up for the rest of the story so buckle up and enjoy ;^)
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Things between you and Hawks didn’t change too much, not externally anyways. Both of you still continued to indulge your feelings, even if you desperately tried to ignore them. 
You continued to honestly spoil Hawks in lavish drinks of many sensations. Truthfully, you loved nothing more than seeing his face as he sipped at your new creations, watching the curiosity and pleasure spread over his features made your heart soar in your chest.
And Keigo continued to bask in your company. The drinks were always amazing, but the chatter and discourse between the two of you was what he loved most. Or, maybe it was his learning of you through watching your small gestures and cues. His analytical, interpersonal skills were, for once, being put to a use that didn’t involve espionage or deception.
It felt cleansing.
Despite these quietly greedy interactions, there was a great deal of repression between the two of you. Aimless flirting aside, squishing any growing feelings caused you both a great deal of strain. It worked, avoidance, for a while anyway. It wasn’t without consequences, but they wouldn’t get nasty until later.
 One of the most apparent tolls was Keigo’s physical state. Having to actively ignore and quash his feelings for you caused such a deep amount of emotional turmoil. It made him ache all over. This was in addition to an asinine amount of extra hours he was spending staking out the villain syndicate that was indeed in the neighborhood of the tea shop. 
(He wouldn’t admit it, but he was being overly diligent in scouting out the organization's doings. They were very close to you and your home, and the thought of you getting caught up in anything to do with his profession fucked him up on-premise alone.) 
The combination of both physical and mental exertion made him messier than ever. It physically clouded him a lot of the time. Exhaustion had well and truly seized nipping at his ankles and proceeded to fully rip a chunk from his skull.
Keigo had yet another long day, dawn until at least midnight, no matter his aching body.
He’d be listening in on out some sort of meeting between the villain syndicate and one of its allies, some more reclusive group of villains from the far-off mountains. Neither organization was particularly noteworthy, but they did have some nasty criminal connection that needed to be monitored. That meant a late night for Keigo and an even greater need for caffeine. 
He paid you a visit in the early morning. 
 The moment Hawks came through the door, you lit up, beaming from behind the counter.  
The shop was empty, just having opened a few minutes before he appeared. The only sounds were the hum coffee machines, quiet music, and the tapping of your own tinkerings. Normally, there’d be more bustle, but you were alone in the din of the shop. 
“Hey, angel,” He flashed you a winning smile, sliding down into his usual stool and propping his elbows on the counter. “Where’s the calvary?”
“Oh, the other openers?” You jerked your thumb to the door. “Running late. They all stayed up late working on a project for school, so I took one for the team and am manning the ship alone for this first bit.”
You sighed, looking quite tired yourself.
There was mutual recognition of your twin state, though it wasn’t verbally regarded in any way. 
Hawks was far better at hiding his poor health from you, but that didn’t stop you from seeing the pinholes in his facade. You’d gotten better at it with time. 
“What can I get you today, Hawks? Inspire me.” You set the glass on the counter between the two of you, gesturing to the expanse of the coffeeshop. “It’s just you and me today, so I can go all out.”
“You don’t already?” Hawks chuckled, running a hand through his hair with a sigh.
“I try,” You shrugged. “I really do my best work for you, whether you’re a glorified guinea pig or not. Gotta serve up the best for my best customer.”
On any normal, Hawks would’ve bantered right back at you, keeping you on your toes with quick words and wit.
That day?
He just laughed, something weirdly neutral, almost off-putting because you knew it was manufactured. 
You opened your mouth, brows furrowing. You wanted nothing more than to ask ‘hey, are you alright?’. 
But, that would’ve broken some of your own, mentally-imposed boundaries. It hurt, to just laugh with him, but it was all you would let yourself do. 
“So,” You broke the air with words as opposed to giggles. “What would you like?”
Hawks hummed, “Surprise me.”
“... Like, fully?”
Hawks nodded, slowly. 
 Keigo, in a movement of full vulnerability, (he told himself it would just be for a few minutes), laid his head on his folded arms, “Go wild, angel. I trust you. Make me anything you’re feeling. Wing it, no pun intended.”
 You blinked at him, nodding. His sudden, almost submissive action surprised you. Something in you ached, seeing him so worn down.
You channeled this feeling into a desire to make him top-tier drink. 
Reaching into your apron, you fished out your idea notebook. Many had been crossed off over the many weeks (months now?) that Hawks had been visiting the tea shop. You fairly consistently wrote down new ones, so there were always options, but on that day, none appealed to you.
Your gaze flickered back to Hawks, watching the soft movements of his breath through the tight fabric of the back of his shirt. 
You needed to make it extra good, help shake Hawks from his stupor. 
 You’re gonna wing it.
You’ll make a feel-good drink.
 It was your only self-imposed criteria. 
 You hadn’t ever made Hawks a drink without a concept and feeling beforehand, so the concept of not having one seemed novel.
You activated your quirk and began.
“How’s your day been?” Hawks called from behind you, words muffled.
 Keigo still didn’t look at you; resting on his arms allowed him a little bit of a reprieve before his grueling day. He’d take it. Hearing your voice would make it that much better.
 You described your day with a decent amount of detail for how much it hadn’t gotten started yet. Hamming up the detail meant more time for you to craft the drink. Your mind spun, grasping onto pre-existing, mental abstracts in your oddly calm headspace to create something tangible. 
Though your quirk was activated, you weren’t really identifying a feeling specifically, rather just letting your quirk draw from whatever material you had laying around in your brainscape at 6 AM on a weekday morning.
You pulled as many espresso shots as Hawks usually liked (maximum, five, you refused to give him more than that in a single drink), pouring them into some steamed oatmilk and several other ingredients you had mixed into a cup. You tapped some cinnamon on top of the foam, polishing everything off with a dash of sweet cream.
Carefully, you set it between the two of you. Hawks hadn’t spoken since you had begun to make the drink, so oddly silent. 
It almost made your skin itch, his lack of response. You reminded yourself with quick glances that Hawks was very obviously out of it and exhausted. You were sure that without the concealer he wore under his eyes (a secret he revealed to only you), he’d have purple circles punched from how overworked he was.
You hoped your drink would be enough to brighten up his day. 
You bit your lip as Hawks raised his head, blonde waves more unruly than normal. A small, lopsided smile stretched across his face as he sat up, grabbing the drink and bringing it closer. He had learned long ago to allow them to cool. 
 “Sorry for not being as peppy as I normally am!” It was almost imperceptible, the off-kilter tone in his voice. 
You caught it but said nothing. 
He sheepishly rubbed at the back of his head. “Been running on empty it seems, angel.”
“Then take some fuel, bird boy.” You nodded to the foamy drink. “When are you supposed to be done today?”
“Late, like late. Early morning, probably.” Hawks sighed, taking a sip.
...
As the liquid coated his mouth, Keigo’s mind seized.
 What.
What the fuck.
 Any and all thoughts he had disappeared. They were incinerated from his mind by the drink’s heat. 
A sun-scorching sensation like he’d never even known tore through his body. 
It was so different from the other ‘warm’-toned drinks you’d made him in the past. The flavor and feeling filling him up was nothing like the hearth-like drinks you had made prior. You had treated him to plenty of beverages that felt akin to open flame, warm blankets, a cat purring over your chest, a candle on a cold night—
But, nothing even close to this.
This was such a strong feeling that if he was a less trained man, his eyes would’ve rolled back in his head. If he’d been standing, he was sure his legs would’ve been visibly shaking, probably given out.
Sure, the feeling was abstract, not as concrete as your other drinks but it was ineffably strong. 
 It felt like the flutter you caused in his stomach, but somehow all over and inside of him.
It was the heat in his cheeks when he saw you, but reaching from his toes to the skin of his scalp. 
It was the shock in his throat when you smiled so honestly at him, now forcing his hands to twitch around the cup. 
The consuming sensation was all of that goodness and more, magnified and exponentially deeper and marvelously burning.
It was hot, fiery as it ripped through him, completely unignorable. But, it was also soft, colored with the earnestness that he admired about you so much—
Oh.
 It clicked as the sensation stirred in his stomach, fluttering to a point of near nausea. 
It was you. 
 The moment he realized it, that all of that sensation was you feeling, as you had made the drink, something began to broil in the apex of his chest, rolling and all-consuming.
His mind stalled as he took it all in, taking another sip. 
The feeling washed over him again, equally as wonderfully crushing.
“Soooo,” You drawled, setting a jar next to you on the counter, beaming him a smile. “What do you think? Gimme your judgment, bird boy.”
Keigo struggled to keep his face neutral as he quickly searched yours. 
Even in his state, it was clear that there was no deception or riddle laced into the creaminess of the drink. The expectancy in your face was derived from admiration, not waiting for the punchline of an unfinished joke.
 “It’s warm! Like, in your stomach.” Hawks looked down before taking another sip, the even smile on his face not wavering for even a moment. “What is it?”
“It’s a miel,” You tapped the jar next to you, pointing at the amber goo inside. “This is some wildflower honey from the owner’s sister’s farm, right outside the city. We have a bunch of extra stuff, so there’s no better time to make a honey-based drink.” 
Hawks eyed the steam, “What goes into a ‘miel’?”
Watching Hawks’ shoulder go slack with the next chug he took, you hummed, “It’s a latte, so espresso and milk, then it has the honey in it which is what makes it a ‘miel’. Topped it with some special sweet cream, a bit of cinnamon. My extra touches in it as well, just based on my quirk.”
Hawks met your gaze, his eyes softening with what you could’ve sworn was desperation, but was quickly swallowed up but stoicism, “And what was this drink’s inspiration?” 
You laughed, shoving your hands in your apron from the typical anxiety, though the feeling itself was somewhat normal and thereby dulled, “It didn’t have one! I just winged it, like you said. My quirk was activated though, so it was just sort of the concept of what I was perceiving and feeling, I suppose.” 
There was a pause as you waited for Hawks to speak. 
He didn’t.
 Keigo stared down at the drink, then you. 
Holy fuck.
This was ambient? 
The sensation that made his toes curl and every part of him yearn to reach out to touch you and give all of himself to you—
It was unintentional?
The feeling was familiar, one that he had organically all the time when thinking of you, being with you at the teashop. It was the one that he shoved down over and over again around you, yet craved more than anything.
And here you were, unknowingly returning it to him.
You hadn’t intended it to be shared and you had no idea you even did.
Keigo was one of the most perceptive people on the planet— he knew that many of the feelings between the two of you were mutual. As much flirting as there was, a lot of it was real from both of you. 
He just didn't think it ran this far deep.
(Mutually.)
 “What... What do you think it tastes like?” You asked, that nasty rot in your gut rearing itself as Hawk’s lack of response ate at you. You turned fully to him, actually taking him in.
 Keigo did what he was so skilled at doing—
Lying.
 Hawks waved his hands in front of him like he was trying to put out small flames, “Nothing bad! Promise, it’s really good! It tastes like how the coffee shop feels. Warm, comfortable. It makes sense that your quirk would reflect that.”
You breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh, good. I’m glad it's good.”
“Very good. I might have to put miels on my list of favorite drinks you’ve made me,” Hawks gave you a relaxed grin, standing and passing a wad of cash to you.
You didn’t expect him to be leaving so quickly, but he did say he was busy.
“Oh, hey, Hawks?” He perked up when you said his name, blinking at you. “I’ve got a project I’m working that I’m doing for the owner, so I’ll be here late. If you’re around, you’re welcome to come by after close if you want another drink? For your long night.”
Hawks softened for you like he so often had come to do. He fluffed up the collar of his jacket, wings ruffling up behind him, “I think I’ll take you up on that. I’ll have some ideas for you then too, how about that?”
 “Sounds lovely,” Your voice was like the honey of the drink, warm, sweet, and vibrant. “I’ll see you then, Hawks.”
“See you then, angel,” Hawks practically glowed as he walked from the door, the chime of the bell sounding with his exit. “I’ll text you when I’m close!”
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 Over the course of the day, an odd feeling grew in the pitch of your stomach. You did your best to ignore it. 
You alternated between serving customers and working on the ‘project’ the owner had saddled you with. Making centerpieces for his sister’s bridal shower was not something you should’ve been doing on company time, but they were giving you a handsome sum of cash under the table for it. 
You couldn’t complain too much, other than that it was laborious. Masons jars stuffed with wired lights and frosted glasses, tied with twine and ribbons were all to be prettily arranged by your hand. 
 During the middle of the day, you went back home, spending your time between shifts catching up on sleep and making some decent food.
The odd gnawing only grew in your stomach. 
 Keigo’s long day was wearing on, though somewhat uneventfully. Most of his patrolling time was the effortless thwarting of petty crime and easy rescuing. 
He even had the time to go back to his agency and snoop.
Because, for how lame his day was, the drink you made him (which he had greedily chugged all of shortly upon leaving the tea shop) caused him to think particularly hard about your quirk.
(As opposed to the asphyxiating awareness of your shared feelings.)
 He didn’t get it.
You’d managed to perfectly create a drink that communicated complex feelings. You’d told him in the past that it could be used for any sort of feeling as well, but you were so vague beyond that. You were abstract in the same way you quirk was.
So, he decided to abuse his power a little.
He decided to actually take a lunch at the agency, munching on takeout while clicking through the HPSC’s databases.
Civilian quirks, especially those that had never attempted to pursue any sort of career with them, weren’t documented incredibly well. Maybe a few details that were used in public research projects, but not much beyond that. He had hoped he could dig and find something that would assuage his curiosity and confusion.
He tapped your name into the HPSC’s hero-accessible database, scrolling and pulling up your file.
There was a picture of you, one from an ID that must’ve been a few years old. There were personal details Keigo wasn’t all that interested in, though it was neat to finally know your birthday. 
He clicked on the tab for your quirk.
  Quirk: Synesthetic Manifestation 
Description: Allows the user to materially manifest abstract, synesthetically-created feelings into reality. 
This quirk does not allow the user to alter reality, only tangibly create abstracts through the means at their disposal.  
Drawback: This quirk causes severe synesthetic overstimulation and appears to be activated unintentionally in instances that expose them to high amounts of stimuli. 
Quirk potential: 
 Keigo knew the concept of ‘quirk potential’ well. Most of the time, this portion on files was only filled out if the individual had ever trained to use their quirk in a profession.
Oddly, your’s contained a few details.
 The user showed high potential in initial assessments, but due to the nature of the quirk, its drawbacks, and its recorded usage, this user’s quirk is now classified as lowest potential.
 Keigo frowned.
All this just made him more confused. 
The file didn’t get into much more detail than you did. The only thing that was new information to him was that at some point you had tried to use your quirk in a training setting and that somehow got you demoted from high potential to lowest potential.
Keigo’s own quirk in the database was regarded as highest potential; you, at some point, were only a step down from him. Something knocked you down from pursuing quirk-based work, and based on your current employment at the tea shop, you never got up. Keigo figured it was the intricacies of your quirk that he didn’t fully understand.
He’d have to be a bit more careful getting any more information out of you, considering how much you disliked talking about it. 
Keigo continued to stew, finishing off his lunch while thoughts of you and your feelings danced across his mind. 
Though it was clear his adoration was obviously returned, it was much easier for him to muse over the nature of your quirk than the way he wanted to pull you over the teashop’s counter and kiss you breathless.
 You went back to work, a few chalky tablets of stomachache medicine in your tummy. They were all you could do to try and quell the twisting in your gut. 
 By the time you arrived back to start your ‘night shift’, it was late evening, the sun already having fallen into the horizon. 
Most of your time prior to closing was spent in the front, helping make drinks and clean up as you could. Part of you was actually excited to throw on some good music and grind after the tea shop was shut down for the night.
Also, seeing Hawks twice in the same day? Absolutely fantastic.
You wanted to try and make him a knockout drink, to make up for the lackluster one you’d prepared him earlier. Seeing his eyes get all gooey with happiness would more than push you through your night of work.
Your phone chimed a bit before close.
 [birdboy]: hey ;^) mind if I come by in like a half an hour?
[you]: yeah!! just call me and i’ll unlock the door for you
 Your closing coworkers giggled at you. They all knew that that big smile stretched across your face meant you were texting Hawks. You used to get a bit shy about it, but now you just gave them shit. He was your friend, right?
 [birdboy]: what if i like, hit the glass, like fly into it like birds do into windows
[you]: okay one- no, that would definitely shatter the windows and idk if i wanna deal with that AND you tonight ;^)
[you]: and TWO- are you speaking. from experience. about hitting windows.
[birdboy]: please dont @ me like this 
 You snorted. 
 [birdboy]: i had to pay off a tabloid who got it on camera bc it would ruin my brand
[you]: do u still have those photos
[birdboy]: ... maybe
[you]: hawks
[you]: gimme
[birdboy]: idk if i can my publicist will kill me
[you]: u hear what i hear?? a coward
[you]: how does ‘your brand’ feel about that
[birdboy]: ...
[birdboy]: gimme one of those honey sticks u have at the register and the pics are yours once i get there ;^)))
[you]: DEAL!!!
 You pocketed your phone in your apron, unable to stop the almost ridiculous smile that you wore.
Hawks made you uncomfortably happy. You knew that he didn’t feel the same, but he was still there. Even if you were just entertainment to him, you were happy to perform on any stage he was watching. 
As closing crept up, you shooed your other coworkers off. Most of the closing tasks were done, they could leave a few minutes early. 
As they began to pack up, chatting about some party that night, your insides twisted.
You squeezed the counter, rubbing your forehead while wishing your coworkers a good evening.
Weird.
 It was about then that things went to shit for both you and Hawks. 
 Keigo’s was supposed to be in for a hellishly long shift of surveillance based on the intel he’d received about the syndicate and its impending meeting. 
Apparently, that meeting was happening earlier, rather than later. 
The chaos started quickly, the meetup going from a strategic talk to an all-out fight between two groups. 
It spilled into the nearby streets, both sides unabashed in their destruction. 
 Perhaps, if Keigo had been faster (what a tall order, for the fastest man in all of Japan), things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand. 
But quickly, things erupted and the streets dissolved in mayhem as he dove and sent feathers flying.
 You stood by the front entrance, waiting for Hawks, idly sweeping. The cleaning tasks were almost done, the world outside was dark with the late evening.
You froze when the ground beneath your feet rumbled with revving engines, the air splitting with the sound of car horns and alarms. 
Everything that happened next moved so quickly, it was difficult to follow.
Windows began to shatter all across the street, near and far.
They cracked, spraying glass as a figure cloaked in black flew down the asphalt outside. A red barrage followed after it, nearly subduing it as it raced past the tea shop.
The massive glass panels at the front of the tea shop filled with frosty lines, just feet in front of you. 
It clicked for you a few moments too late.
Adrenaline shot through you, but it wasn’t enough. 
...
You weren’t Hawks, you weren’t fast enough to outrun much of anything, let alone quirk-shattered glass. 
You were just barely able to turn around before the spray of shards reached you. 
You would later be incredibly thankful that you wore denim jeans and a wool sweater that day. Without the thick fabrics, you were sure that you would’ve been shredded. The problem was your low-top shoes and thin socks.
Just as you turned, searing pain shot from the back of your left ankle. You urged yourself to forget the specifics, flesh-tearing, mind beginning to buzz. 
You just had to keep moving. 
Except, you couldn’t. Your left leg gave out with your next step.
You shrieked as you fell to the floor, barely catching yourself. Your palms smacked against the ground, pieces of sharpened glass driving into the flesh. 
You couldn’t help screaming, your voice mingling with the sound of alarms, cries for help, and the war cries of a nearby fight.
Oh.
You were in the middle of a fairly nasty villain attack.
...
So much for giving Hawks a better drink.
The mental joke seemed macabre, especially in your state.
 You willed with all of your might, for your quirk to not activate. Overstimulation was just inches away from your current state, the sounds outside the teashop boring through your skull like diamond drill bits. 
The pain that was radiating from your left leg was nearly unbearable, but you knew that getting out of the front room was imperative. 
How you managed to keep your injured leg straight, you’ll never know. 
You locked your jaw and pulled yourself along the floor, hoping that Hawks had this all under control. More people were bound to be hurt by the same sort of attack you got caught in, right? How many more folks had been sliced up like you? Worse than you?
 Keigo wasn’t having much trouble subduing the villains. They, of course, had no idea that he had been watching the syndicate for three-odd months. He knew their quirks, their tactics, their escape routes, everything. What he didn’t know as well was the other group’s specifics. 
From what he had understood before the fight, the two had somewhat friendly relations. Still, Keigo mentally kicked himself for not being more diligent in his gathering of intel. 
His mistakes aside, the much more pressing issue was the two-kilometer stretch of shops that were now collateral damage in what was essentially a mobile mob war. 
This damage included the tea shop.
When he’d flown past the shop, he’d only caught a glimpse of your face through the glass before it shattered.
You’d looked terrified.
Every part of him wanted to stop, dead in the air, rush in, and make sure you were okay, but he had to at least get things under control until more heroes showed up. Then, he’d be able to get to you. 
By the time Keigo subdued several villains of either group, more Pros had arrived on the scene. He sped off to the teashop far too quickly when he saw others gathering. It was an ill-advised move, but he was clouded by a different set of instincts than those cultivated in his hero training. 
The flight did allow him to fully take in the damage of the district, though.  
It was about as bad as it could be.
Whatever the villain’s quirk was must’ve shattered glass within a certain radius from his body, Keigo observed.
Thankfully, the villain’s quirk didn’t appear to affect anything past two stories of height, sparing all above it. Those panes and pieces that did shatter had sprayed businesses, restaurants, shops, and the street with shards of glass. Not to mention that they flew at the speed of projectiles.
(At the full-minded revelation that there was no way you weren’t hurt, Keigo felt his stomach flip and eyes burn.)
Keigo shuddered to think how bad the damage would’ve been if the encounter happened during broad daylight. 
 Keigo curled in his wings, dropping onto the floor at the front of the teashop through the broken window. 
He kept his expression somewhat neutral, though the scene before him tore at his heart in a way he wasn’t expecting.
The tea shop was destroyed.
The pretty, warm lighting fixtures had shattered, fine filaments exposed, and a few sparking. The glass jars on your wall of tea blends were broken, spilling leaves and dried herbs across the back counter. That wasn’t even to mention the layer of shards from all of the glassware stored around the coffee machines.
Seeing the destruction of one of the only places he had ever found real comfort in was awful, and it tore something hidden and vulnerable in his heart.
But far, far worse was the absolute horror that bloomed in his chest when he saw the sizeable spot of blood in the middle of the floor, smearing to the back doorway. 
“(Y/N)!” Keigo shouted, ignoring any stealthy elements and hurriedly following the trail.
“B-back here,” Oh, your voice was so weak. 
Keigo couldn’t make himself move fast enough.
 You’d managed to get yourself to the back, biting your lip so hard you were scared you’d break the skin. Part of you was lucid enough to know that making too much noise could be bad. Then again, the shop was supposed to be closed. Did anyone even know that you were there?
Hawks did.
You gripped at one of the edges of the stainless steel countertops, using all the strength you could muster to pull yourself upright. As careful as you were not to jostle your injured leg (that you still hadn’t looked at properly because you were terrified), the moment you bent it, you had to suppress a scream, turning it into a slow, nasty exhale. You let yourself sink to the floor again. 
Something was seriously fucked up.
 Then Hawks called your name. 
You were sprawled out on the floor, injured leg awkwardly turned and extended to prevent the pain from being made worse. 
The moment he saw you from the doorway, the remnants of his wings flapped, practically throwing him to the ground next to you.
The moment you saw him enter the back room, any and all fronts you had put on for yourself fell apart.
“H-Hawks,” You hated how small your voice sounded as you pushed yourself closer to him.
The details of him, how ruffled his remaining feathers were, how wide and scared his eyes were, how different he looked from the times you’d seen him on the news confidently saving the day, were lost on you. 
 Though, Keigo noticed your poor state easily. It was more obvious. 
He scanned your form with the trained precision he was known for. He took in the shattered piece of glass sticking from your leg, bleeding lightly. Your palms weren’t bloody, but they were dotted with shards of glass. 
He also noticed your panicked shaking and your unnaturally dilated pupils, beyond anything he’d seen while you’d made drinks for him. 
“Is your quirk active?” Keigo asked, pulling off his gloves and grabbing one of your wrists. He turned your palm, using two of his smallest feathers like tweezers to pick at the shards pieces of glass. 
“Y-yeah,” You replied, using the back of your other hand to wipe at your eyes. “It does this when I’m under extreme stress. I can’t turn it off.”
Keigo managed to laugh, relieved that the cuts in your hands weren’t that severe, “You just focus on me, okay, angel? That’s all you gotta do.”
 You nod, trying to hold your overstimulated mind back. It’s fruitless, truly, because the moment Hawks reminds you that he is, in fact, there, and that you are safe, you quirk-addled mind spasms. 
The awful mix of sensations whirled in your skull as you leaned forward, pressing your forehead into Hawks’ shoulder. In other circumstances, it would be a romantic gesture. But, the only purpose you had in the contact was hoping, praying, that the heat of his body would distract you from the swirling of sensations you couldn’t stop. 
In that mental soup, within the fear, intense pain, and loss, oddly enough, was the unignorable, pleasant feeling of being so close to him. It made your heart squeeze. But, it was a single spice of sensation in a foul-tasting stew though, and it was hard to isolate the good in the muck of your mind. 
You shook against him as sounds and pain blended inside your skull, thoughts becoming murkier and harder to understand.
 Keigo finished tweezing your other hand, that one worse off, and wrapping it in some gauze he had stuffed in his jacket.
His mind screamed for him to wrap you in his arms, to pull you close and keep you safe. It was all he could fathom doing, just nearly moving to do so—
That was until the popping rumble of a nearby explosion interrupted his thoughts.
You jumped against him, muffling a scream in his shoulder.
His heart ached.
 “(Y/N), I know this is all scary,” Hawks’s voice came through your sensational slurry. “But, I need to be back out there right now.”
“No.” Your mouth spewed with no discernable thoughts behind it. “Don’t leave. Please, don’t. Please.”
You caught Hawks’ wince, but barely. 
He was already repositioning you, scooting you under one of the countertops, “Angel, I’m sorry. I need to go, but I’ll be back. I promise.”
Your eyes screwed shut, vibrating in your skull as pulling your uninjured leg to your chest. 
Hawks looked equally as torn up about having to leave, brows creased with his lip worried between his teeth.  
Despite how messy your brain felt, you knew that you were beyond defenseless. Even if your mind could easily conjure up an infinite number of ways to bring a person non-lethal (and lethal) pain, you were turning to mush mentally and you had glass sticking out of your leg. You had no fucking way to create it with your body. 
Your back hit the wall under the counter and you managed to wrench your eyes open, taking in Hawks and his visage while you spun.
He looked so sad.
The feeling of mourning and fear spat so hotly in your mind, it was like you’d been intangibly burned by his expression. 
You choked on your own stored tears, reaching out for him.
He caught one of your hands, the wrapped one, and squeezed it lightly. 
Even with so few feathers left, Hawks plucked one, about the size of your forearm. He replaced his hand with the plumage. 
“(Y/N), I will be back. I promise,” Hawks (so weakly) smiled, trying to reassure you. “You snap that feather if anything changes, okay? If anyone comes into the shop who isn’t another pro, or if you start to feel faint. Do you understand?”
“Yeah.” You gritted out, somehow laughing. Your vocal cords rubbing together sends a wave of agony up the back of your neck, burying behind your eyes. You press your forehead in your bent knee. 
 With one last, fleeting look, eyeing your wound and remembering slate-colored eyes, Keigo took flight into the fray once more. 
Keigo hated leaving you. He hated it so fucking much. It burned him, felt wrong in every way. You were so vulnerable in your state. Both of you knew that without him there, you were entirely exposed and fairly defenseless.  
It perked up that protective instinct he’d repeatedly had towards you for months. It was probably something related to his avian mutation, but it was just blood-boiling need to keep you safe.
Yet, he just left you, wounded and mentally spiraling, in the middle of a destroyed building.
If he wasn’t trained so well, he would have acted differently. But, it had been burned into him time and time again what his needs were in disaster situations.
Neutralize, stabilize, clear out. 
Through his exhaustion, he fought and soared with all he had, fatigue forgotten and replaced by hot cortisol. He forced himself faster, zipping down alleyways and across rooftops at some of his top speeds. 
While Keigo tracked down all of the villains (he managed to miss the first time), he trusted that the other Pros could deal with the heavy collateral damage. He was number two, he could catch some organized criminals. 
Beyond his training, Keigo had an even bigger motivation. 
He could feel you.
The feather he left with you must’ve been pressed right up to your chest, maybe under your neck with the way Keigo could so intensely feel your breath and heartbeat. He could sense it gradually speeding up to the point of what had to be panic. If Keigo focused, he could make out your terror-stricken babbling.
“It’s okay.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“This is fine.”
“I’ll be okay.”
“Hawks is okay.”
“He’ll come back.”
“He won’t leave.”
...
“Everything's gonna be okay.”
With that last one, your words gave out and it turned in gasping breaths. 
Keigo worked himself harder, striking down the last of villains with absolute precision, all distractions forgotten in the most pivotal moments of combat. 
The instant the villains were in custody, restrained, he was flying back towards the tea shop.
 You don’t remember any of this well. Your mind was liquified, your body throbbing in pain. 
It had been an incredibly long time, years since you’d been in any situation resembling a villain attack. There was no way to stop the synesthetic storm that was choking your mind. Every sensation was magnified, mixed with another, and shoved down your throat without any ability to change it.
A few minutes after Hawks left, giving you time to stew and roll, you spiraled more harshly.
When you realized how pitifully helpless you were, you fell away, pressing your wet face into the Hawks’s feather. Your vision muddled between black and red. 
You felt the cold of the blood wetting your pant leg.
Your wound is bad.
You hadn’t fully looked at it in awhile. 
Opening your eyes, you suppressed a wave of nausea at the small puddle of blood growing under the bottom half of your useless leg. 
The way the denim of your jeans stuck to your skin mixed with the smell heady smell of blood made you gag. 
You couldn’t keep it up anymore.
Letting your eyes shut, you sank down to the floor, cheek pressed into the dirty cement. 
You don’t know how long you idled, drowning in your mind’s colors and vibrantly violent sensations. 
You were only half-conscious when the feather pressed to your neck twitches.
 “(Y/N)!” Keigo shouted as he landed in the teashop, flying straight to the backroom, bypassing the mess of broken glass. 
His breath caught, seeing you slumped over.
“Fuck,” Keigo couldn’t stop the tremble in his voice as he noticed how much blood had pooled beneath your injured ankle. “Hey, hey, (Y/N)—”
He sure fucking sucked at admitting his faults, and recognizing the severity of wounds was indeed one of them. He didn’t usually stick around long enough to deal with casualties so closely. 
Keigo threw off his gloves, tossing them behind him without looking. 
“‘M fine,” You started to push yourself up, hissing at the pain that surged from cuts in your hands. “Brain’s mushy.”
“That all?” Thank god Hawks still managed to joke. The humor dashed across your vision like little sparks. You stifle a weak snort. 
 “There’s my angel.” Keigo was so relieved to see you conscious that he didn’t notice his own possessive slipup. “Are you lightheaded?”
Gingerly, he helped stabilize your body upright as you wrenched your eyes open.
“A little, it’s okay, this is what happens,” Your voice was so loud in your own skull, it hurt. Though, the pain of your words was only a prick in the wet dough of your overworked mind. Sensation was pain, rolling over you and making it harder and harder to stay lucid. 
 Keigo swallowed thickly at the sight of your fully-blackened irises. 
He needed to get you out as fast as possible, but that required assessing the gash in your leg. 
His gaze flickered to your ankle, “Can you move your toes?”
“I don’t want to.”
Keigo frowned, weakly, pushing you as upright as possible as you began to slip to the side. 
“Please, you have to try, okay?” Keigo begged, not noticing his own voice wobble. 
You shook your head, grabbing it in within its own motion. The dizziness made your insides knot and stick together. 
“(Y/N), please.”
You shifted your gaze to him, vision tilting as you did. 
The frown on your face split as you just barely moved your toes within your blood-soaked shoe.
The fresh pain, vibrant and boiling, cut through the fog like a heat-blackened knife. 
Your own fist flew into your mouth to mouth to suppress the cry that bubbled from your throat. You half-recognized it was the one holding Hawks’s feather. 
You couldn’t see the way Keigo flinched at the sound, immediatly trying to soothe the two of you. 
 “Alright, good, okay, you can still feel them,” Hawks managed to laugh, cutting into the miasma of your psyche. It was something light and airy, tasting like packet sugar on the sides of your tongue. 
Chasing the goodness of Hawks’s voice, you mustered up as much clarity as you could grasp, willing yourself into full sentences, “Hawks. I swear to fucking God, if you do not get me out of here right now, I will never make you a drink ever again.”
 Keigo blinked at you, nodding, watching your attempt to focus on him, though the fully inked irises seemed to refuse to stay put.
 So, this is what the file meant about the cost of your quirk. 
 “Don’t have to tell me twice, dove.” Hawks scooped you up before you could manage to put more thoughts together. A few of his feathers flew to stabilize your injured leg. 
His touch felt good, like incredibly good. Even as the crunch of his boots on the broken glass of the tea shop scratched at your inner ears and burned your sinuses, the heat and texture of his jacket caressed over your cheeks. His warmth tasted like honey and cream. 
Your head lolled onto his chest, idly playing with the filaments of his feathers that you refused to let go of. 
 (Keigo didn’t want you to, anyway.)
He couldn’t fly well, not in his mostly-featherless state, so he took to walking instead. He sidestepped as much glass he could, mostly watching your half-lidded eyes fixate on the feather you had pressed up to your face.
It was a weird circle, Keigo feeling your heat and breath so close, both on his body and on the sensitive plumage. Technically, he was doing his job, so he let himself indulge just the smallest bit in being so close to you. When Keigo squeezed you, nearly at the medic’s area, you tucked your face into his collarbones, breaths slowing from panic. You were even slack in his grip.
A paramedic rushed up to the two of you, guiding you to a setup stretcher and a waiting line of ambulances.
 “We can take it from here, Hawks, no need to stick around,” The paramedic’s voice cut through the air, dripping bitterness on your tonsils and iron nails in your lungs. 
Hawks set you half-down onto the lip of the vehicle, “Nah, it’s okay, I’ll hang out with them for a sec. They’re a friend of mine.”
He’d never said it before. That you were friends. 
Heat rushed up to your fingertips, sweetness washing over your wounded leg, topped off silken air settling around your ears. 
You’d drown in the sensation, a million times over.
 The paramedic ran off quickly, a man with a nasty head wound taking precedence over your leg (which seemed to have clotted somewhat with your somewhat more relaxed state). 
Hawks still didn’t leave.
Rather, he moved closer.
So did you.
 From your spot sitting on the edge of the ambulance, your injured leg was twisted and propped up while the other dangled off the edge of the vehicle.
Keigo was right up against the metal, allowing you to lean on his side.
“You good?” You asked him, bumping your leg into his lower back.
Keigo couldn’t help jumping. You’d never casually touched him. 
(He really liked it.)
Though the setting and circumstances were fucked, he figured it was okay. 
You were friends, right?
 Hawks wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pressing you into his side.
You took it a step further, wanting to simply soak in the amber, milky feeling of his touch. 
You squish your cheek low against his collarbone, drinking in the smell of his sweat, stale, spiced cologne, and rich, expensive smelling hair oil. 
The scents washed over your skin, rolling over your burning wounds like aloe and clean water.  
“Thank you.” Your voice is small and soft, kept gentle by your last sparks of lucidity. 
You heard Hawks chuckle, your vision swimming in honey and yellow with the sound, “Just doing my job, you know.”
“I mean, yeah,” You laughed too, pressing your nose harder into him. “But, it’s you, and I’m just glad you’re here.”
“You better stop being so sweet,” The hand around your shoulder rubbed slowly, up and down your spine, sweet spices and sugars dancing on the roof of your mouth. “Gonna give me ideas.”
The touch, something you craved and denied yourself, pushed you over the edge as his touch dissolved across your overstimulated mind in cresting waves of rushing, blessed heat. 
Finally succumbing to the flood of your quirk, drowning your mind in both agony and absolute calm, you muttered out the last clear thing you said that evening, “We always give each other ideas, silly.”
God, the many meanings behind your words spun and stuck in Keigo’s mind like the taste of the miel he drank that morning. They relentlessly clung to his psyche, wanting to know more. 
He stayed close while you were assessed and strapped into the ambulance. He sent a few of his last feathers to retrieve your jacket and purse from the wrecked shop.
All the while you clutched his bare hand, irises black while the whites turned bloodshot. 
As the ambulance drove off towards that public hospital, he could feel the steady beat of your heart through the crimson feather he made sure was tucked in your hand the moment he had to let it go.
He felt you squeeze it, and he wanted nothing more than to return the gesture a thousand times over.  
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