#anyway it's fucking time for autumn

[coffeewithcalypso]

I need autumn to come and save me. I'm such in a shitty headspace right now, I need that breeze and temp drop and fall vibes to come and save me

[cozylittleartblog]

me omw to scare mormons out of a wendys!! 🍂🖤🍟

ootd from like 2 weeks ago and yes that really happened

[reaper-in-reverie]

Chuuya was a fiery person.

He learned that the only way to be truly respected was to be irritable and commanding — it worked. He was right. Being weak and folding to other people's will was not part of him anymore, he was Chuuya with a capital C and he was the untouchable executive of the Port Mafia — he didn't need anyone else, he had himself, respect, relative safety, and a stupid mackerel to kill.

Oh, and he had you.

OR

chuuya nakahara's loving written by a chuuya kinnie projecting herself into her work.

Warnings: nothing much, just chuuya's thoughts on love and himself. A dash of angst if you really think about how lonely he is...

Chuuya was a fiery person.

He learned that the only way to be truly respected was to be irritable and commanding — it worked. He was right. Being weak and folding to other people's will was not part of him anymore, he was Chuuya with a capital C and he was the untouchable executive of the Port Mafia — he didn't need anyone else, he had himself, respect, relative safety, and a stupid mackerel to kill.

Oh, and he had you.

And the untouchable executive had to rest, too.

Chuuya had his arms wrapped around you while your head laid against his chest, and his on the pillows. He was so tired, you could feel it when you were this close to him — but you could also feel he was content with just being here with you, holding you in silence.

He couldn't begin to imagine how he even got himself here. He loved you so much, he was so sure of that — you were everything to him. You understood him so deeply, sympathized with him, cared for him, been there to listen to his shitty childhood, been there when he was drunk and tired and mean. Been there through both his best and his worst.

There was a silence he couldn't fill with words. He didn't know what to do with these feelings half the time. You were just so, so precious to him. He didn't want to lose you. He couldn't lose you, it'd ruin him forever. Losing you now would be like dying.

He'd sacrifice his life for you, he'd dedicate his soul to you, and if the world was against you — then he was sending a goddamn planet out of orbit. But Chuuya knew you didn't even want that. You wanted him to love and to be loved — to be human. He never had someone like you before, you proved to him so many times you didn't want his power, or his position, or his potential. You wanted him, you liked how human he was despite of what he was. You commented on his care and loyalty and his compassion — you separated him from the other vile humans, you said he was so much more than them. You loved him without obligating him to love you in return.

You were his proof of humanity. What a joke. Did you even know what you were getting yourself into? What it meant to love someone like him — someone who was just lines of code, stuffed into skin and bones? Someone who had accepted that they couldn't be truly loved long before you? Someone who's very existence flawed them? Someone who wasn't even human? Didn't you know — or did you not care?

Chuuya sighed against you now. He could feel you were asleep in his arms. He needed to protect you, he needed to keep you close to him — you made him feel human. You were proof he could love, he could feel, he could live. That he didn't have to feel guilty for existing. He didn't have to have a purpose — he could live and laugh and love without being useful. It sounded like a fever dream to a boy who was made to be a weapon.

Chuuya started lowly humming a tune into the cold air of the room. The song was familiar — his mother had sung it to him. He could barely remember it. He definitely had a life before this. He probably had a mother, a father, old childhood friends, even siblings —

— but this was okay, too.

He couldn't believe you were here with him. He couldn't believe he had someone that could accept him. Someone who didn't just tolerate him, or use him — someone who loved him. You loved him so genuinely and deeply that you would sacrifice your happiness just like he would his own. You gave him more than respect, you gave him stability. You gave him the feeling of home he had never truly felt.

Chuuya Nakahara was a fiery person.

But he had always yearned for a gentle love.

║Ⓒ reapkusho on tumblr. 2024. all rights reserved. refrain from translating, copying, or stealing in any way, etc.

[kyngsnake]

new ldb in the works

[mer-se]

First time meeting the Angel of grief (at golden hour) 🍂🪽

[spokelseskladden]

Im so mentally ill right now pls hand me my vitamin d pills i need to be fixed, i haven't felt sunlight upon my skin for a week and it's raining over the snow so it's all sloppy and slippery and dark out so i can't go anywhere without getting my feet soaked and my inlaws are asking me what i want for christmas like specifically which means i have to share my interests but i don't want to be perceived right now because I'm feeling the winter paranoia/madness and also i had to take the trashcan out yesterday and faceplanted in the snow and my glasses are all scratched up so i think im going to need new ones and if i want to go ANYWHERE i need to defrost my fucking car on the daily and i hate it. I hate winter i HATE IT. And i have an exam on friday as well as work and a christmas party to attend. I need to move to the forest and become one with nature, just leave society behind and live like Isak in Growth of the soil even though i fucking hate Knut Hansun, that nazi bitch.

[illiana-mystery]

Happy First Sunday of Autumn!

[sadgirlautumn]

I’m currently very upset about the American healthcare system. Like I hope they know that they are making people actively sicker 🫶

[davidytenny-ovariesexplodeywodey]

I've always felt emotions very strongly. Not usually just my own but others too. I feel the life of animals and trees too. I've had arguments with people that *trees aren't alive like we are* but I swear I can feel their life. I'm too sensitive for this world I think. I swear I be googling how to make a fire without wood because I wish there was a way to not kill a tree.

I take a moment of silence for every dead animal on the side of the road that people just casually run over.

I don't understand how so many people selfishly kill animals and trees and don't believe. I know I'm not alone in this but today I was just staring outside and it's so beautiful out. It's autumn and everything has such vivid colors. I really feel everything right now. I wish things didn't have to die.

[laomelettedufromage]

While I didn’t have time to make them before Mid-Autumn festival, I made mooncakes for the first time this weekend and they’re so damn pretty I could literally just sit and stare at them.

[mwagneto]

WHY THE HELL IS PARIS SO SMALL???

[clancyycat]

i always remember how to spell field because my first job out of college i misspelled it in front of a group of school children and my coworker publicly bullied me about it in front of 100 fifth graders

[kyngsnake]

sexualize that roman soldier

[striga belongs to @hotwifeluigi ]

[darkxwolf17]

crossing my fingers SO HARD for arctic versus tropic (rambling in tags)

[rubyredbonnetblue]

Listen.... I know full well why I’m crushing so hard on Prince Eric and we’re just gonna embrace it

[sadgirlautumn]

Last spur of the moment random thought post but I redeemed myself for my rude political call (I had to hang up fast bc i answered the phone in front of my entire family and didn’t want to talk about a voting plan) by answering another one and just saying yes to everything