#anyway in my heart romana/narvin will always be

[thenugking]

My 50th fic posted to AO3 (at least publicly)! It's a rewrite of my first one, Concatenation! It turns out I'm better at writing now than I was 12 years ago! If you like Romana and Narvin, you should go read it!

A look at the development of Romana and Narvin’s relationship, with ficlets for every episode of series 1-3 of Gallifrey. (Written as a Romana/Narvin shipper, but it’s all pre-relationship, and most of them could definitely be interpreted platonically if you prefer.)

[magicofthepen]

my first instinct is to say "knock the ice from my bones" as my favorite fic of yours, because that's the one that first really struck me — both the title, as the ice association with Romana is something that (clearly, looking at my body of works lol) is very important to me, but thinking on it more, I think my favorite of yours might be "silver tongue"?? specifically the bits about Narvin, because of course — of course. Narvin, who has my whole heart and one of Romana's as well. I'm very ambiguous about my feelings toward explicitly romantic narvinromana, but I think. I think that it makes sense, in this context, but mainly and possibly only with Trey (and sometimes, in my head but never written down as of yet, the real Romana III). Trey stealing things — friendship, love, a kiss. the ice metaphors toward the end. I've always thought that is Romana II is sea-ice, Trey is like frost. bright and sharp and burning-cold, but gone so fast. so, yeah. all this to say — silver tongue has stuck with me, very very deeply.

what is your favorite fic of mine?

oooh it’s neat that you mentioned both of those because they’re among the fics I’m most personally satisfied with, but the process for each one was completely different. knock the ice from my bones was brainstormed and drafted and re-outlined and re-drafted and edited and that was a year plus long process. vs. silver tongue was drafted in a couple hours on a whim and not revised much because I was pretty satisfied with the initial draft.

but now I am Thinking and — they are similar, aren’t they? they’re both character studies of versions of Romana, they’re both about the narrative of their lives — the story Romana is telling about herself after Etra Prime, and the role Tre must play in the story of Gallifrey, a role she is exceedingly aware of. and the fics are about where the stories can be true and where they are a lie. and what it is like to be a person trying to fit into a Story. (but Romana is Allowed to defy the narrative more than Tre is, Romana is still The Protagonist and Tre is not.) my love of stories about stories sure does keep jumping out huh.

anyways! Narvin and Tre yesss. Leela can’t see Tre as Romana, but Narvin does, and so even his exasperation with her feels like a kindness because he is reacting to her like he reacts to Romana. and I loved getting inside her head and exploring how that hits her, how it hurts and heals at the same time, because these brief moments are all she’s going to get of her friends. and the knowledge that her time with them is so limited also makes her more inclined to express her feelings for them in various ways because she has nothing to lose and they deserve to know — and maybe she wants to believe they could love her back. if things were different.

and your interest in Romana + ice metaphors is always so interesting to hear about! I actually favor fire and heat as metaphors for Romana (it’s about the contrast between how strangers perceive her and how the people close to her perceive her), and I know I’ve used fire/heat metaphors from Narvin’s pov in particular. but I like the way you use ice metaphors in your work, it Works the way you write it, and it’s neat to see a different perspective! but I had to lean into the ice thing for Tre because she is choosing to Be How People Expect Her To Be — once Romana and Leela have labeled her as Someone Not To Be Trusted, that is the act she puts on. she is actively trying to convince them she is ice, rather than it just being How She Is Perceived and that distinction was also really interesting to explore.

thanks for sending this, it’s so great to hear how much you like silver tongue!! ❤️

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

gallifrey pacific rim au? 👀👀

thank you i love you this is probably gonna be way longer than 5 hcs because i have so many thoughts about it

ok so actually i have this note in my phone that's like "gally pacrim au variations" because i've come up with a ton of different versions of this but for almost all of them, the basic framework is that Leela and Andred were copilots, Andred died, and Leela ends up kinda just haunting the shatterdome for a good while until things start like... happening lol

there's this one Gally pacrim au on AO3 where the author has Leela and Romana as drift partners, which is a really good concept (and even tho the fic seems abandoned it's really really good) but also... honestly idk if they would actually be drift compatible? just because like, they've got probably the most tense and fraught relationship in the canon series and i just dunno how they would do with that level of intimacy and openness

so it's either gonna be:

L/N, which would be hysterical bc they hate each other at first despite being compatible (Narvin has never had problems with honesty, even to Leela -- it's core to his personality tbh) and that would also open up the opportunity to stick Braxmana in a jaeger together (also hilarious bc Brax is a heckin simp, you cannot tell me he doesn't do the exact heart eyes at Romana that Raleigh does at Mako)

(watch me being way too deep in a secondhand fandom)

or i can go ahead and be very self-idulgent and admit that my favorite pairings for this au are Leela and Brax, and Narvin and Romana

so like, i actually wrote out a draft that's basically the pacrim au version of that scene from Weapon of Choice (no i will never shut up about it i'm sorry), at this point in the main variation of my mental au, Romana is in charge of the shatterdome and that gives basically the same general power dynamic as in early Gallifrey. but anyway you know i'm obsessed with Leela and Brax's dynamic and i definitely think they would be drift compatible bc they're very *themselves* with each other already, moreso than with most people

the TW version is essentially that things are Very Desperate, Brax and Ace are gone (idk what their jaeger's name would be but the kaiju that took them down would probs be called Obscura because i can't pass up that opportunity), Leela is missing -- so basically how it happens in canon but in a different setting -- and Narvin and Romana finally take up the mantle and become copilots. i haven't fleshed this out as much as i could have but basically i'm just thinking... in canon TW audios they're so close and open with each other and they would be SO drift compatible tbh. also the imagery i always use for them in fics is all that ocean/sea ice meta so it doubly works lol

i'm keeping the idea to write an actual fic about this stored away in the back of my head, the only reason i haven't done it yet is bc everything i know about PR is secondhand but... it's gonna happen someday

BONUS: i have a bennybrax version where it's Brax post-Soldier Obscura who's just lost his copilot Ace and Dellah!Benny with less trauma than you'd expect and her inner monologue is basically a fairly exasperated "of freaking course i'm drift compatible with my very aggravating and possibly somewhat sinister best friend. of course" and thinking about that one makes me laugh (i also have a Legion-era version OOPS this au setting took over my brain)

[best-enemies]

I have to write an actual review on Gallifrey TW4 for the podcast I’m in but I have a writer’s block, so here are some of my thoughts on the box because I need to yell about it somewhere and my friends are pissed that I keep yelling on twitter. Spoilers ahead!

Don’t expect anything coherent to come out of this post I’m just going to throw stuff in this post and if you get it you get it lol. It’s not like I have fully recovered from the blow anyway... 

Deception is a great introdution to the box and probably one of the best Gallifrey audios. I hate it when the OT4 gets separated (and that it happens all the time!), and in this case it happens between Narvin and Leela. However, it’s always great to see Leela working on her own and interacting with other people. When she tried to save those people from the resistance, the way she dealt with the situation even when she felt lost because she couldn’t trust her senses - a tool Leela values a lot as a warrior and a hunter - was absolutely incredible and it reminded me (not that I could ever forget that) of how much I love and admire her. 

Listening to them being inside the distortion field felt like a really bad trip 

All I could think throughout the box and not just Deception is that Leela had a crush on Eris and man I can’t blame her at all not only he was a great guy he’s really good looking and I got a crush on him too akshdashdkjaks

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really like Livia. She’s not evil, she just makes a lot of bad choices and she has this problem of being too much on the fence, which is not the characteristic of a true leader. She was never one. But still, even if I don’t remember the content of the earlier audios she’s in I’ve always liked her. And I liked that she finally chose a side in the end. I mean, she did when she helped the resistance, and that was a good beginning.

 Also can I interest you with my headcanon that she was Romana’s girlfriend at the Academy and they broke up? Lol Anyways, when she heard that Romana had “died” she was shocked and later on complimented her as a person and I kind of wish we saw more of them on good terms

Now, on Dissolution: I love Narvin. That’s pretty much it lol. Before starting Gallifrey my friend gave me a spoiler which was basically, “you’re gonna love Narvin”. Well, at first I really liked his voice - it was funny and cute and voices are an important thing to me. Of course, even if he seemed funny to me, unfortunately he was a total xenophobic asshole. He had convictions, he had layers which made him very interesting, but still, an asshole. Which makes me really proud to see how far he has come, how much he’s grown. When he joined Romana’s side I soon realized that my friend was right; Narvin had one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. He went from Romana’s political rival, if I could put it that way, to one of her most trusted allies and best friends. And he found out that he could still fight for and protect his home, but using the right tools, doing it the right way. Dissolution showed that contrast between the old Narvin and what he wanted and the new Narvin, and honestly? I could almost call this episode a moment of relief amongst the chaos. Narvin has become one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse and one of my all time favorites as well.

Alright... now we get to Beyond *deep breaths*. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I spent months since listening to Unity living in a total hell not knowing if Romana was alive or not. I couldn’t believe that that was her ending, that she wouldn’t show up again for their last hurrah, and that my favorite companion ever was gone forever. But then, BF announced the cover, and the description for the episodes, and her name came up, and I could finally breath. My friend and I started theorizing that maybe Braxiatel had dematerialized the TARDIS around her and saved her in the last second - which is kind of what happened, I mean, the description said he wasn’t ready to give up on her! So they go to that place called Beyond, and shit happens. Those ravenous bitches were there eating people and shit. They even ate Narvin - I almost started crying in the middle of the bus, telling myself he wasn’t our Narvin, but he was a Narvin and it still hurt. I wanted to fight those ravenous myself. And not just that, Romana went through hell watching Leela die in front of her, and her reaction was really heartbreaking. 

Aaand that kind of brings me to a point here, something that bothered me. Romana and Brax, as always, spent the audio bickering a little, but they had their moments as well. Like when Brax says that it’s good to see her smile again, when he says (sorry I don’t remember it word by word) something like, she couldn’t die and that she’s supposed to be the best of the Time Lords, when she calls him her friend, and when she asks with a soft voice if he’s coming back to Gallifrey. And it was sweet. Like, they have a lot of issues, but they also have good feelings towards each other. Despite everything they care about each other, and it shows. Which is why I got really confused about Romana’s reaction when Brax was eaten by the ravenous. I remember I even thought she wasn’t around when it happened, that he had left and was somewhere else (I have a little difficulty paying attention), but then my friend said she was. So I was like... wait, she saw her friend, whom she’s known for most of her life (and more than she can even remember) die in a truly horrible way and didn’t even react to that? I’m not blaming Romana, I think this is really out of character for her. She may have difficulty expressing her feelings but she would never, ever react so coldly to the death of a friend. 

Now, on Brax’s death... I was really devastated. At first, as always I got confused and thought the older Brax was an older version of him, somehow. Even if he died, I was like, this is confusing, but it’s Brax? So I was weary, but still, I thought “well at least he’s safe now, on another universe in the Beyond”. But then my friend said “no, that’s an alternative Brax, the one we know is dead”. And that’s when I felt my stomach drop. IT HURT SO BAD. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know everything about Brax, or about the depth of his character, I’m still very early on the Benny audios and only have listened to him on Gally and a few audios here and there. People who have more knowledge on him say that the way he was written wasn’t really accurate, and that can be true, but I won’t get into that because I don’t know for myself. Still, Brax is one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever known. I loved him from the beginning. I got mad at him so many times during the series, felt as betrayed as Romana did, heard about a lot of dark shit he’s done, but still I could never hate him. I got a little bit too attached to him, which is why his death felt absurd and unnecessarily cruel. I don’t think for a moment that Brax deserved that, as I said I don’t know everything about him but something in my heart tells me that things could’ve gone another way. I knew he could die in the finale but not like this. And it’s a bit hard to put into words how much I hate the ending he got and how much I’ll miss him. I just hope he comes back, I mean, he always does, BF writers need to figure something out I don’t even care lol

I had to edit the post because my dumb ass forgot about one of my favorite and at the same time one of the most bittersweet moments of Beyond: Brax asking about the Doctor and saying leaving Gallifrey was a “family thing”. I love them and there isn’t enough stuff out there from the Lungbarrow siblings for me. He talks so fondly of the Doctor and now all I think about is that he never mentioned him in the series but thought of him on the last hours of his life... brb I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom

Oh god. Okay, Homecoming. I’ll start on a light note and say some stuff about Hot Rassilon: Richard Armitage nailed it. I’ve always liked him as an actor and I got thrilled when he was announced. His voice is like, the one I want to hear when I get my name called up in Heaven - or Hell, which is where I’m going - and his speeches were really powerful. Still, I wish they could’ve given him more to do. Of course, I understand that this is where they wanted to go with him - Hot Rassilon going batshit crazy and calling himself a god and coming up with some stupid fanfiction about the Time Lords becoming gods of everything, yada yada. I loved his interactions with the Dalek Emperor, the first thing I thought (besides the fact that it was really funny) was that it showed two despots with a god complex playing chess with the universe and discarding their people as garbage, fighting for their own personal power and not for the collective. Of course, I don’t expect the Daleks to care about each other - they want to spread throughout the galaxies and gain absolute power, not bring social well-being to their own. But that should apply to the Time Lord Society, and we see that Hot Rassilon doens’t give a flying fuck about that. 

I feel like I should reinforce the fact that I actually hate Rassilon. I call him hot but I hate him. I can do both

Once again, I need to point out the emotional moments between the galligang. It all felt so off. As someone pointed out here (sorry, I saw the post but don’t recall who said it now): it’s a war and there’s little time for grief, however, it’s not like they’re just grieving the loss of a group of people they’re not familiar with. The galligang are the closest thing they have to a family with each other. They’ve been through all sorts of things together, created a deep bond and have crossed the universe to find each other. And then, that Dalek ship blows up, with Narvin still in it, and... nothing. Leela even asked Romana if they could’ve done something and she says if the bracelet thingy had been working he would’ve come back already. And that’s it. At first I didn’t even understand, I was like “wait, he was really still inside the ship? And it blew up?”, because once again, I couldn’t tell from the way they reacted, I was only sure when they had that exchange. And of course, I started sobbing, because my favorite character was dead. I guess the writers wanted to focus on the war and political aspects and shit but did they forget that Gallifrey was about these three specific people and that their relationship was the core of the series, not just the politics? 

Okay, moving on. Leela and Romana once again end up on Gallifrey and run into Hot Rassilon. Did I mention I found him a bit scary? Well, I did mark me down as scared & horny.

Aaaaaand he decides to lock Romana up in a pocket universe. It surprised me, because I thought he would execute her. I find that he wanted to do that because Romana was the president who wanted to take Gallifrey into the future, to make it a prosperous and advanced society who left all their fears of the unknown and prejudices behind. And now he locked her up in the past. Get it? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but this was the first thing I thought. But I cannot even begin to tell you all how RELIEVED I am that she’s alive, and that there could be a possibility - even if a very tiny one - that she could escape. It’s Doctor Who, so everything is possible. EDIT: Now I’m sad because Leela will die after the end of the Time War and Romana will know about that, and all her friends are gone, and she believes the Doctor isn’t the man she once knew so she can’t rely on him, and she’s alone, and I’m FUMING because I’m still processing the whole thing and I hadn’t realized that. She’s totally alone and now I’m crying once again. I HATE IT HERE

As for Leela, I want to see what’s next for her. I haven’t gotten into the other Time War stuff yet, this is my first introduction to the actual thing, but I heard that she’s gonna fight alongside the War Doctor and might be on the War Doctor Begins boxset. But man listening to her and Romana having to depart like that broke my heart. And now I know that she’ll be protecting Gallifrey because of Romana, because Romana represents the best in Gallifrey.

*Phew* okay, that was a lot. I don’t even know if I covered everything, but I managed to make more sense than I thought I would at the beginning of this post. I don’t know man I’ve been crying for hours, went to sleep at 2am crying because of Narvin and Brax and woke up at 7am and my first thought was them, dying again... I don’t even know anymore, I guess I’ll either focus on uni and my job or curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of my life lolololol

Now I want to write a post with my theories on how the entire galligang is alive and in the epilogue in my head they have reunited and are all living together happily. Maybe it’ll be my next post.

[diaryofriversong]

WIP folder meme

tagged by @mnemosyne-musing thank you but also rip me bc i have so many

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

i'm gonna make two different posts bc otherwise this is gonna be even more of a mess than it already is sjdnfsjdfnsdj any Doctor Who related stuff will be here & fics from any other fandom will be posted on @carolinedhavernas bc Katie tagged me there for this anyway. also i stopped after i got to the beginning of last year bc there's way too many asjdfndj

doctor who

without hope

without witness

without reward

river12missy epilogue

river/[REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]/[REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] this love

10jacobi be as you’ve always been, be like the love that discovered sin

5ainley buttons undone

12dhawan pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings

12missy

river12missy i don’t know anything but i know i miss you

8river liv/helen

river12missy sleeptalking

13corsair avast ye

river12missy the 1

river12missy you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleeding

river12missy & when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies

river12missy love slipped beyond your reaches, i couldn’t give a reason

mysterio’s coffee emporium

river12missy sick day

river12missy & just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

jack/graham just let me know, i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around

8jacobi

jack/graham

jack12river i like you & i loved him, we could all be the best kind of friends

8corsair

river12missy the time travelers’ wife

river12missy corsair

xoxo sweetie

12missy

12missy

river12missy tonight is the night; i might have wasted the tears but i won’t waste the years

6ainley

13dhawan

barbara/ian time stops (& troubles are abandoned)

corsair bill 12

13corsair

8jacobi

war thoschei sanctuary

8lumiat of sweet dreams & mended hearts

12missy

11dhawan watching the stars slide down to reach their end

12dhawan a sweet sensation, no price too high (burning bridges elton)

12river

8lumiat illuminate

8jacobi sinner's lullaby

13dhawan screaming in the dark, i howl when we’re apart

12macqueen

river/missy soft touches of a ghost

barbara/ian turning in circles & blurring the lines

13dhawan

river/missy

corsair jacobi heist

12nardole

shalka

6ainley

it could be weird but i think i’m into it, you know i’m one for the overly passionate

wanna feel like i am floating instead of constantly exploding

trans ian

lumiat

dhawan

ten + one

head over heels

scongo

s10 rewrite

13 era rewrite

bi graham

i won’t be home for christmas

torchwood

owen/ianto

owen/tosh heartbeat

tosh/jack nightmares

owen/jack

torchwood three

intertwined

owen kisses

yvonne/andy

gallifrey

narvin romana

narvin/brax

gallifrey ot4 letters

leela/romana let’s build a world of daffodils that never fades & never dies

ot4

‘til death do us part

narvin groundhog day au

narvin brax

narvin romana

romana narvin

tagging @artemisery & anyone else who wants to do it

[finefeatheredfriend]

For the character meme: Romana?

oh my god i somehow maybe misread the ask meme thing and thought it was just gonna be one of those questions plus a character but nope, apparently it’s all of those questions - and now i feel a bit weird about sending someone A Lot of asks with just one question and a character but ANYWAY

Romana! my wife! my starblazing queen of the night! i love her! so thank you for sending me her! here you go:

what i like about them - every single thing. on a more serious note: her smile, her intelligence, her faces, her laughter, her humour, her endurance, her fashion sense, when her voice goes soft... there are just so many things

what i dislike about them - that whole imperiatrix business

favourite moment - the chair. definitely the chair. and The Scene, especially her growled ‘Braxiatel!!!!’ (and if this counts, the way she laughs when it’s actually Lalla and not Romana in the outtake). and lalla/romana trying to imitate leela. and the fanfiction. if i have to choose a moment from the tv series then maybe when she solves that “unsolvable” riddle box and grins all proud,

least favourite moment - when she approved the use of the oubliette of eternity (cause i don’t like what she did) and when she had to spend decades as a prisoner of the daleks (cause i don’t like what she had to go through)

a situation with this character that i’d like to see explored more - Brax’s dream au

an interesting au for this character - Brax’s dream au

a crossover - okay so how about iris wildthyme meets her and romana does Not know how to deal with this chaos

otp (or ot3+ etc... just favourite ship) - this was difficult cause there are two ships i love almost equally - and that’s Leela and Romana, and Leela and Romana and Narvin. okay fuck this it’s still too difficult i’m choosing both

other ships - the OT4, and, of course, Romana and Brax. i also really kind of like Romana and Livia...?

BROTP - i used to ship them before i got into gallifrey, but really the Doctor and Romana have to be the brotp, and they are

NOTP - hmmmm so. Romana and Rassilon. Romana and Pandora. and Romana and prydon (that’s the vampire dude right)

an assortment of headcanons - okay so i’m just gonna write whatever pops into my head cause idk if i have any headcanons i always think about...?

- one headcanon that i’m just gonna steal is this really cool situation where leela narvin romana and brax are on this planet that’s basically a magical paradise, and when narvin and leela announce their wedding plans romana gets a proposal from braxiatel but because he doesn’t have his white charger with him and so can’t carry her off into the sunset, she yells at him

- okay okay i’m gonna get serious now

- romana is the fanfic author that has the highest hits and kudos count on her stories on the gallifreyan go to fanfic site, maothreeix (i’m so sorry it’s 2am)

- she loves knitting and knits all of her favourite people all these sweaters and scarves and hats and gloves and i can’t decide if i like this more: a) she’s amazingly talented at it and comes up with complicated patterns herself cause knitting is basically just maths and science (one time she manages to get a secret message to her friends by convincing her enemies to let her send them a knitted scarf which they don’t know is actually knitted in code (knit=0, purl=1 so like binary code)) OR b) leela teaches her but she’s better with all the thinking and her hands won’t quite do what they’re supposed to do so everything ends up being kind of crooked but her favourite people love those knitted gifts with all their hearts and look at those little crooked parts fondly

- she put hallan in the freezer on one of the tardis’s and then forgot about him

- she’s secretly providing both the doctor and brax with blackmail material about the other one

- she, like any normal time lord not associating with those blooming ceruleans (hehe) (not as funny as you think eileen. go to sleep), she can’t stand plants - but she will fill her quarters with plants of all kinds, and spend days in forests and gardens filled with plants, cause it makes leela feel at home

- she keeps sending Narvin and Ace out on missions together cause she secretly enjoys watching him struggle to deal with this human but also loves how he slowly turns slips into the dad role with ace

okay there’s probably so much more but i almost made myself fall asleep thinking about all those cute adorable headcanons

thank you so much!! this was more fun than expected!! (i thought having to answer them all would be difficult and overwhelming but it really was fun!)

[magicofthepen]

for the character ask: Rayo? I know he’s not super well-developed in canon, but I always love hearing your thoughts on any of the Unity Fam because you‘ve clearly spent a lot of time considering them and seem to understand them really well! :)

ahhh yes thank you for letting me talk more about the Unity family!! I do love them, and I’m very excited that you like hearing about them! <33

favorite thing about them: he’s so clearly Leela and Veega’s kid? when he wants to go to the city despite the danger because it might save his mum, when he’s desperate to take part in the war – to fight, to save people – it’s such a reflection of Leela’s protectiveness and care, the burning spark to defend. when he bonds with the strangers who show up on his doorstep in Unity, when he chooses to stay on the Patrex retreat to learn to be a healer, to make that place a safe haven – you can see echoes of the way Veega cares for people in soft, quiet ways (feeding, giving shelter), welcoming people in when they have nowhere else to go, daring to build a home even in the darkest of times. Rayo has such a good heart and that’s lovely to hear on its own, but I specifically adore how you can tell how his particular brands of need to help come from the people who raised him.

least favorite thing about them: .....how time war 4 sidelines his relationship with Leela. from having Leela’s fear vision be about losing Sholan rather than y’know, the kid she actually spent years raising and just got separated from, to not letting them have any sort of meaningful goodbye.....I like that Rayo stays on the retreat, but I don’t like how this means he never sees Leela again and this is just. glossed over. if they didn’t have time to address this meaningful family relationship in time war 4, they shouldn’t have introduced it in time war 3.

(skipping favorite line again bc I’m so bad at picking)

brOTP: brOTP isn’t quite the right term, but my favorite platonic relationships of Rayo’s are absolutely his familial ones with Veega and Leela. you can tell how much he loves them both, and how important family is to him (they are living on this rough world on the edge of a war, he’s lived his whole life with some kind of danger in the background, but with his family he’s happy. they’ve always kept him safe, and he wants to keep them safe, too.) the scene when he’s with Veega as she dies is just so heartbreaking, and the desperation in his voice when he thinks he might lose Leela too (I can’t lose you and mum on the same day), and he’s struggling so much with the grief of losing his family in dissolution. his relationships with them are the most important ones in his life. and we can also see the value he places on family in Dissolution when Narvin talks about his relationship with Romana – Rayo’s immediate response is Doesn’t that make her your family, then? because to Rayo, family is the Most Important kind of relationship.

OTP: none. but okay while I don’t really have any ships for Rayo, if I had to pick a Rayo ship that I could get behind....I do vibe with Rayo/Eris when Rayo’s older (technically we don’t know how old he is? (I’m pretty sure) but I think I keep imagining him as like. seventeen-ish. although now I’m curious about how old other people think he is?). anyways: I like the dynamic of healer and fighter, both swept up in the war and driven by the urge to help people (but doing it in different ways), their paths crossing as the resistance funnels people who want to escape the war to the safe haven Rayo’s trying to build....yeah there could be a story there!

nOTP: I’m sure I could think of several ships that would ick me out, but nothing that I’ve actually seen? 

random headcanon: he finds, on the retreat planet, that he loves gardening. (this headcanon comes from his awe in dissolution over a ground that’s not contaminated/the fact that you can just eat things you pick and know it’s safe.) he finds peace in digging into the earth, growing food that can feed people, being alone in the quiet beauty of this world. I also have this headcanon about him planting a tree as a memorial for Veega – he never got to bury her, but this is the closest he can get to a grave. and it helps, to remember her through something with steady roots, something that grows and lives and shelters. (he doesn’t plant a tree for Leela – at least not for a long time. he wants to believe she’s still alive.)

unpopular opinion: I don’t think I have one? (maybe just the fact that I care about Rayo and Veega a lot, because the Unity family-obsessed corner of the fandom is quite small – but apparently there are people enjoying our ramblings 😄 so idk)

song i associate with them: *checks unity family playlist* hmm I....don’t actually have any songs on the playlist that focus on Rayo as an individual, or how he feels about his family – the songs that I have in reference to Rayo are from Leela and Veega’s perspective. but those are (currently): Lullaby for a Stormy Night by Vienna Teng, Light by Sleeping at Last, Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift.

favorite picture of them: there aren’t any in-character photos of Rayo, we do have this lovely art of Rayo and Narvin by @alyona11!

[magicofthepen]

Gallifrey Relisten: Weapon of Choice

Surprise surprise, I absolutely had to relisten to Weapon of Choice and Square One after listening to @podofrassilon. And I realized that a year-and-change ago when I first listened to Gallifrey, I didn’t post many thoughts and reactions to the early episodes (and I’m pretty sure the first time I did an episode-by-episode reaction was for Time War 2). So since I have not done enough rambling on the Internet about specific Gallifrey episodes I’m gonna do some relisten thoughts! (Also this whole thing feels super timely given that this week Weapon of Choice can be downloaded for free and series 1-4 are on sale! *end shameless plug*) 

(Includes mentions of/references to Neverland, Zagreus, Spirit, Renaissance, Desperate Measures, and general references to Narvin, Romana, and Leela’s character arcs/characterization throughout the series.) 

Oh, Weapon of Choice. I do love this one very much, especially as a first episode — it is doing so much character/world/plot establishment work and doing it so well! (And there are always many aww look at where they started emotions on every relisten.)

I know “above apoplexy but below incandescence” has been talked about a hundred times, but I’m gonna add my personal experience anyways: the first time I listened to Gallifrey, I....wasn’t very into the opening scene with all the Temporal Powers representatives. My reaction was pretty much: I can tell there’s a plot being set up but I’m not interested in these characters? I was kinda bored, I wasn’t paying that much attention.

“Above apoplexy but below incandescence” was when I started paying attention. 

Narvin does some really interesting alternating between sounding polite-but-insincere and sounding genuinely angry/frustrated in this opening scene. And his moments of anger are always when Romana’s criticizing the CIA specifically. He is very defensive of His Agency, it very much seems like he knows he and Romana don’t agree on many things, but he wants her to at least respect the CIA.

Narvin trying to be all “we don’t need to talk about Project Alpha, it’s not that relevant” in front of Romana — possibly he doesn’t want her to distrust him/the CIA anymore than she already does post-Neverland? (No, I’m not hiding things, I’m just not going to mention them, thank you Brax....)

There are two similar-but-different layers to Leela wanting to join the outsiders — she’s trying to find a community (people she can live with who will like and respect her) but also a purpose, and the second bit has me wondering — what did Leela do on Gallifrey during her marriage with Andred? The rest of her life experiences (getting banished from her tribe, running away to travel with the Doctor, *gestures vaguely at all of Gallifrey*) are super intense and chaotic and also a lot about trying to do what she thinks is right — what did she get up to during those decades? Did she have a job of some kind (and people tolerated her because she was married to a guard and then kicked her out)? This is the Romana-and-E-space time gap all over again, I want the stories!

Romana may be bad at using her words re: friendship, but she is so much the one reaching out to Leela again and again in these early episodes ahhh. Please come help with this mission, please be my bodyguard, etc. etc. (leading ultimately to the most iconic episode of please stay that is Spirit). She definitely struggles with friendship in plenty of ways, but the fact that Leela is so lonely and adrift and Romana is the one to genuinely offer that community and purpose to her, offer Leela a home....it’s very good.

“Go to Madam President Romana.” It is always very jarring to hear Leela use Romana’s title, and I think usually it’s when she’s angry with Romana? So this feels different, it’s just a “I don’t know her that well yet” moment.

“We’re not monsters, Leela.” Wow the difference between their first interactions in Zagreus and now is incredible — specifically how Romana goes from “aloof, don’t care at all about you or your opinions” to “I care a lot what you think of me” (and how you can hear the rapid evolution of Romana’s Leela-related feelings through Zagreus...also very good. I realize this is not a Zagreus post, but hey.)

“Don’t you ever knock?” Listen. Listen. Every time my heart is <3333 at the parallel between Romana’s absolute venom at Narvin here and her warm affection when she chastises Narvin for not knocking in Desperate Measures....it’s such a small thing but every time I’m like, they’re gonna go so far!!

“On first name terms with the Time Lord president” The Name Thing, yes. Leela as the only one who almost always just calls her Romana, the only one who doesn’t interact with Romana as The President first.

“Of course, we shall observe a proper period of mourning first. You think I have no respect?” Hhhhhh the moment when Narvin’s like “Oh Romana’s going to probably get herself killed? What a shame.” is. A whole experience on every relisten. My dude, you have no idea what’s coming.

“You offer up yourself to die?” “You’re the suicide bomber Nepenthe. Why act so surprised? We are all of us willing to die to defend our beliefs.” / “If you know why I have taken this course, Time Lord, you will know why I must refuse.” “I do. That’s the trouble with being a martyr. We don’t back down, do we?” Another key “establishing character” moment. This whole scene is setting up Romana as someone who has a reckless disregard for her own life at best and is looking for something to die for at worst — and this, of course, is something that will come up again, and again, and again; she has better days and worse ones, but this never goes away.

Narvin is calling an investigation into the Gryben incident, while the crisis is still happening. Sir.

“Wisdom. Beauty. Wit. Will I ever find another like you?” “No.” Romana, I love you.

“Leela, we’re going home.” “Home? To Gallifrey?” “Where else?” Leela is so strongly in the camp of “home is not a place” and she genuinely is without a home right now, but Romana’s offer here - this is when Leela starts the (very messy) road to finding one again. (Also thinking way ahead to “Gallifrey is not my home” as Leela’s choosing to run off with Romana, ahem.) 

Final thought — a reflection on my first listen of Weapon of Choice. I had done the whole “watch Romana and Leela Classic Who episodes, listen to Apocalypse Element/Neverland/Zagreus (and all of the Eight + Charley arc up to that point)” thing to prep for Gallifrey, but I actually almost stopped there. The endgame of all that watching/listening was supposed to be “listening to Gallifrey” but the other audios (especially for Romana) were so dark and bleak and “we’re going to hurt this character repeatedly” that I became super wary of Gallifrey! (Especially after I accidentally got really attached to TV!Romana.) But I still did the thing anyways, obviously, and Weapon of Choice was such a relief — oh yes, there can be funny moments! Oh yes, the characters can be clever and save the day! Obviously things get Worse starting next series, but really I did need the first series as kind of a palate cleanser to convince me that yes, I did like these audios, yes, they have a different Vibe than the others I’d listened to, and yes, I did want to keep going.

Next Episode Reaction: Square One

[best-enemies]

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3