#anyway im working on the final part of pretty girls rn but im stuck

[ghosttotheparty]

part two of this post bc i easily succumbed to peer pressure; this is 90% just them making out both parts are now on ao3 :) cw: they’re just kinda gross (several mentions of spit) and Weird (affectionate)

Eddie’s glad he doesn’t come across any cops on his way to Steve’s, because he’s definitely speeding.

The downstairs lights are on when he gets to his house, and his hands start shaking as he approaches the front door, his fist hovering over the wood as he exhales.

He knocks.

Three times, firm and loud, and he steps back, taking a deep breath.

A few seconds pass, a few long, long seconds, before the door swings open. Steve is in the doorway, holding the door, his eyes wide.

“Hi,” Eddie says softly, breathless.

“Hi.”

They stare at each other, Steve in the light of the entryway, Eddie in the dark of the night. Eddie itches to grab him, to tug him into a kiss, to wrap him in a hug so tight neither of them can breathe. But he just looks back at him, his trembling hands by his sides.

“You’re not…” He hesitates, looking between Steve’s eyes. “Second guessing this. Are you?”

Steve scoffs dryly.

“I’m falling in love with you, Eddie,” he says softly, and Eddie thinks he might be dying, because now he’s not just hearing it, but he’s watching Steve’s lips form every word. “It’s not something I can just… change my mind about.”

He stares at Eddie some more as Eddie’s cheeks flush, and his voice softens even more somehow when he speaks again.

“It’s not something I wanna change my mind about.”

Eddie’s eyes burn.

He steps closer to the doorway. Steve watches him.

“You’re not changing your mind,” Steve says quietly, his eyes flicking across Eddie’s face as he gets closer. “Are you?”

“Do I look like I’m changing my mind?” Eddie breathes. They’re close enough for Eddie to count his eyelashes. Steve’s eyes are dark, and Eddie gazes at him freely, because now he can.

He can feel Steve’s breath on his face as they get closer, silent except the pounding of their hearts and the rustling of wind in the forest around them.

And then Steve is kissing him, hard and desperate and in a way Eddie’s never been kissed before. His eyes squeeze shut and he kisses him back, reaching through the doorway to grab at his waist as Steve’s arm wraps around Eddie’s neck and tugs him closer.

Eddie’s body flushes with heat and a weak noise escapes his throat as Steve pulls him inside roughly, stumbling in after him and barely hearing the door slam behind them. Eddie’s back hits a wall, and he gasps, his hands clawing at Steve’s back as Steve slides his tongue against Eddie’s.

Steve’s hands are warm as they slide over Eddie’s neck, his fingers digging into his skin, into his scars, holding Eddie like they’ll both fall apart if he lets go. He tilts his head to kiss Eddie deeper, pulling Eddie closer until he stands up off the wall before he pushes him back against it. Eddie whimpers, his fingers gripping Steve’s shirt in tight fists.

They’re both breathing hard into each other’s mouths, arms tight around each other, Steve’s fingers tangled tightly in Eddie’s curls, Eddie’s hands shoving under Steve's shirt and clutching at him, scratching his back, their chests pressed together, their pounding hearts separated only by skin in fabric. Clutching and frantic and desperate like they’re trying to melt together.

Steve lets out a sound that’s almost a sob, and Eddie gasps, pulling away to look at him. Their lips and chins are slick, and Steve’s eyes are dark and gleaming at him, half-shut. Eddie pushes away from the wall, panting as he turns them around and shoves Steve against the wall.

Steve whimpers loudly, his fist tightening in Eddie’s hair, and Eddie kisses him so hard their teeth clash. Steve holds Eddie’s head in place as he sucks on his tongue, tugging at his hair again, tilting his head, leaning close, back arching as Eddie’s hands pull him. They’re connected by a string of spit when they separate, breathing hard, and Eddie eyes it for a moment before he sticks his tongue out, catching it.

Steve’s eyes flutter shut.

“Steve,” Eddie breathes.

“Mm.”

“I want…”

He trails off, unsure of what to say. Unsure of what he wants. He wants everything. To tear their shirts off over their heads, to shove his hand down Steve’s pants, to get down on one knee and take off one of his own rings to put on Steve’s finger.

Steve’s eyes open and he looks at him, exhaling, his breath slowing, and his fingers release Eddie’s hair, combing through it slowly. Eddie presses his hands flat against Steve’s back, sliding one down to his ass and gripping it gently. Steve’s breath catches in his throat.

“Anything, Eddie,” Steve breathes.

"Anything?" Eddie whispers, raising his eyebrows and smiling softly when Steve smiles.

"Mhmm."

Eddie's hand squeezes, and Steve bites his lip, closing his eyes and tilting his head back in pleasure as Eddie ducks his head down, nudging his nose against Steve's cheek and jaw gently. Their breathing is slowing, their hearts calming down, but Eddie's hands are still shaking. He kisses the cut of Steve's jaw softly, exhaling against his skin and listening to Steve hum.

"Okay?" he murmurs, nosing down his neck. Steve hums again.

"Feels so good."

Eddie smiles against him and kisses him slowly, teasing the skin between his teeth, sucking softly when Steve's hands tighten in his hair, and Eddie slips a hand under his shirt to his waist. He presses his hand over Steve's scars, over the swirling, storm cloud flesh, and Steve exhales sharply.

"Still okay?"

"Yes, don't-- Don't stop. Anything."

Eddie closes his eyes and tightens his hands again, listening to the way Steve's breath catches, and then he slides his tongue across the side of Steve's neck. Steve's head tilts to the side to give him space, and he sighs, his shoulders slumping like he's falling asleep.

"That your weak spot?" Eddie teases quietly, grinning when Steve's cheeks turn pink.

"Mm."

Eddie does it again, slower, more carefully, the top of his head tingling as Steve's fist tightens in his hair. When his tongue reaches his jaw, Eddie pulls back to look at Steve.

He looks asleep, but also like he might cry, his lips parted, his eyebrows furrowed just slightly. Eddie's eys burn as he gazes at him, wondering how he'd look as a Renaissance painting or something. He has the kind of face an artist would love. Especially when he looks this... blissful.

"Stevie," Eddie whispers. Steve doesn't open his eyes. He just tilts his head a little bit, like he's showing Eddie that he's listening. "I love you."

Steve smiles without looking at him, his cheek flushing a lovely pink.

"Lick me," he whispers.

Eddie beams, leaning close and nudging their noses together.

"And they call me the freak." "Please, baby," Steve whispers, blinking blearily at him, looking the way Eddie feels. The floor gives out under Eddie. He almost disappears. Steve is smiling so softly that he's barely smiling at all. "Make me a freak."

"Fuck," Eddie breathes, closing his eyes for a moment before he tilts his head and nudges at Steve's jaw. Steve lets out a strained exhale when Eddie runs his tongue over it slowly, carefully, and he lets out another breath when Eddie bites down gently.

"Yes," Steve murmurs, his fingers scratching over Eddie's scalp roughly, his breath heavy. "Yes, give me-- Mark me, Eddie, fuck."

Eddie feels too hot, like he's going to pass out, and he desperately wants to pull his shirt off (and then Steve's), but he focuses, sucking Steve's skin between his teeth and nibbling at it before he bites down hard. Steve gasps, his fingers clenching, but his head falls back against the wall, and he lets out a desperate yes, yes, please.

Eddie looks at the mark when he's satisfied, when Steve is trembling so hard it feels like he might cry. It's dark, already flushing reading, and Eddie smiles at it, admiring his work He wonders briefly if this is how artists feel when finishing a piece, and then he slides his tongue over the mark, pretending to soothe it, but Steve groans quietly. Eddie might be on fire. He licks up over his jaw, up his cheek.

His face is salty. Eddie remembers the way his eyelashes look like they're clumped, wearing mascara, and he realises he's tasting Steve's tears. He slides his tongue over Steve's cheek again, then his chin, then his other cheek, tilting his head, and his hand squeezes at Steve's ass as Steve tugs his hair. Steve lets out a whine.

Eddie doesn't stop, kitten-licking Steve's face, holding his neck with one hand (he can't pull the hand on his ass away, for reasons), tasting Steve's tears and skin and finally his spit as Eddie licks across his lips and Steve opens them. He only manages to pull his hands away when Steve kisses him back desperately, sloppy and messy until their lips are sliding with their spit, and he reaches down to Steve's thighs.

His fingers grip him tightly, picking him up with unexpected ease, and he grins into his mouth at the soft sound it elicits.

"Sofa?" he gasps, his heart pounding again.

"Fuck, yeah. Yes."

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[3norachas]

wrong send • bang chan (I)

pair: bang chan x reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers, fake dating, fluff, suggestive no smut tho uwu, a little angst, bullet point scenario

warnings: suggestive it’s just making out sjabdka

“In which Y/n was supposed to send her best friend, Lee Minho, a porn link for scientific purposes but accidentally sent it to her neighbor, Bang Chan.”

masterlist     (a/n: sike ya bitch I’m too excited to wait for 6 pm so here you go hnng gotta cut it halfway bc tumblr can’t handle this masterpiece hnnghgn anyway sorry this took too long ive been procrastinating and i still had irremediable and unforeseen to deal with hhnghgn but pls don’t be afraid to request huehuehue and im sorry if my style of writing in bullet point format is similar to some writers hgnfhgng i’ve read some of these types of writing and it stuck with me so im very sorry :((( )

taglist: @cahtastrophie @anxietyishell

PART II

you and minho were close

you grew up together

learned to walk together

bath together when you were babies of course :))

bully and judge people together

basically everything

you studied in the same school and were inseparable since birth

it was like two puzzle together

when you need help with love minho is there to watch over you he scares all of them but u dont need to know that oof

when minho’s in trouble you’re there for him even if it’s bailing him out of jail dont ask why

you even watch porn together  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

but that’s all platonic!!!

the two of you tried dating and were each other’s first kiss

but it didn’t really work out for the both of you

it was too awkward

so you decided that you were better off as friends

but that didn’t stop the two of you to be close huehuehue

y’all still cuddle like kids and personal space never existed between the two of you

that stayed until college

everyone legit thought the two of you were dating but—

“me and minho??”, “me and y/n??”

and you’d both send each other a playful glare

“ew no”

so when minho asked you to send him some link to a gay porn website

you didn’t even bat an eye

so here you are

about to send some porn link for minho’s entertainment and prob for his minho junior ;)))

“here’s the link you bitch”

and there you go

but what weirded u out tho is when minho didn’t reply immediately

he’s always fast when it comes to your texts or calls

but then you thought maybe he couldn’t wait anymore and is busy fucking or whatever

so imagine your shock when u received a text with multiple question marks 

“?????????”

“hello to you too but what is this for?”

it was bang chan

bang motherfucking chan

The Bang Chan™

the one with grades higher than your height

the athlete who joins a lot of sports but eats like he hasn’t for weeks

the one who sits in front of you and asks for pencils every now and then

and has more girls than you have friends

“is this porn?”

“oh wait”

“it is porn”

you threw your phone away from you, burying your face on the pillow to sulk in embarrassment

out of all people it just had to be him ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

your phone rang with the ring tone minho had set for himself let’s all assume it’s a sexy song

“hoe where’s the link”

“i think i did something terrible”

“wouldn’t be your first time lmao but what is it??”

“i accidentally sent it to someone else….”

“…..”

“….”

“…”

“..”

“how and who the hell did u sent it to?”

“bang chan…”

“whomst-hAHAHAHHNGDBJ ISN’T THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR??”

“DON’T LAUGH A ME U BITCH ;’((("

“I CAN’T NOT HUHAHAHA”

you whine while he wheezes at your misery

“just tell him it’s not for him and apologize u big baby”

“but that’s just embarrassing” o(╥﹏╥)o

“do you really want him to think that it’s for him and you’re trying to make him hard and seduce him?? what makes it worse is that it’s gay porn”

“nO”

“tHEN DO SOMETHING”

so that’s how you find yourself standing in front of the door of the apartment across yours

with shaky hands you knock on the door

it opens to reveal bang chan himself in his shirtless glory- Σ(゜ロ゜;)

…..

(╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) !!!!!!!

sHiRtLEsS?????

suddenly, you don’t know how to breathe don’t we all tho

hngkdb mfucking bitch has defined abs how can you function normally

how is this man comfortable with showing his abs to random people???

it doesn’t help that he still has little droplets of water on his body 

“hi?”

you yelp, literally, and that caused a small chuckle from chan at your cute reaction but!!!

HiS cHuCKle sOuNdED !!!!

you pinch your wrist to wake yourself up and maybe stop yourself from staring at his torso

now is not the time y/n!! ‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ

“um- I’m- hi….”

“hi there” he smiles his dimpled smile and —*inhales*

your heart went !!!!

it took you a lot to compose yourself before you squish his cheeks in your hands

nO Y/N !!!

cOnTRol YOuRSeLf !!!

“soooo”

“huh?”

“come inside for a bit” he grins at your confused look and opened his door wider

what

wHaT?

reluctantly, you follow him inside his apartment. you weren’t surprised when u saw the mess inside, it was a small space but it wasn’t too small

what surprised you tho

there were pieces of female clothes on the floor and bed

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

you were confused for a moment before you finally undersstood the situation and that those clothes where female clothing

fEMALE 

nOT HIS

“channie who was that?”

your head whip to the bathroom door to stare at the girl is your neck ok y/n?

her eyes were wide

like

wIDe

like this O - O

and she looks scared :00

“a-are you chan’s s/o?” she gulps before scurrying to gather her things and run pass you muttering apologies and out the door she went

s/O????

you didn’t even have time to explain that you weren’t !!!

she just ran pass you !!!!

and wasn’t that mina?!?!

like The Mina™ who gets all boys huehue

“I’m sorry about her”

you hear chan sigh, now wearing a shirt

which was great bc if he stayed shirtless you might not be able to speak normally bold of u to assume that you can speak even if he’s fully clothed hhghghng

“she really think that these hook ups we have has a meaning”

hookups?

you shook your head, mumbling about how it doesn’t really mind you which is a big fucking lie

wHAT IF MINA GOSSIPS TO HER FRIENDS THAT YOU WERE CHAN’S S/O???

if anything she may already have broadcasted it to the whole campus

“sooo why did you came here??”

chan settled on his bed with a cute curious look on his face

just then did you remembered

yOU SEND HIM A GAY PORN LINK

suddenly you’re back to phase one

you keep opening and shutting your mouth from nervousness lIKE HELLO??? HOW??? ARE YOU??? SUPPOSED TO BE CALM???

aND IT’S CHAN SO???

DON’T!!! BLAME!!! Y/N!!!

“i-t’s about t-the… link-”

chan chuckles and nods his head ”yeah i saw it”

sAW IT?!?!

aS iN hE wATcHeD tHe vIdEO!?!?!

!!!!

chan must’ve noticed the look on your face and laughed his beautiful laugh and you felt your heart is being crushed !!!!

“no not like that! i meant that i received it yes”

oh

oHh

stupid you

why would chan even watch it if he knows that it’s porn hhnghg maybe he did watched it ;)))

you played with the hem of your shirt. eyes casted down from embarrassment smh how many times are you going to embarrass yourself y/n hhhnghn

“p-please forget about the link”

“oh??” chan tilted his head in confusion still with his mfuckin smile

“i-it wasn’t supposed to be sent for you!!! i’m really sorry for calling you bitch too…”

chan was shookt when you bowed 360 degrees and repeatedly apologizing

so being the kind person he is he took a hold of your shoulders with a cute smile

cHAN STOP MAKING CUTE FACES !!! Y/N IS DEAD !!!

AND HE’S TOO CLOSE FOR COMFOT HHNGHNY/N ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

HANG IN THERE SWEETY

“it’s alright, i don’t mind but…”

but???

“does your boyfriend know???”

?????

“boyfriend?? i’m sorry but i don’t-”

“isn’t minho your boyfriend? y’know the dance major? i’m pretty sure the link is for him, right?”

o-O!!?

he thought you and minho??? are??? dating???

“um n-no we’re not! i mean we’re close but that’s it!”

chan released a relieved sigh and his smile came back

bUT?? HE’S STILL TOO CLOSE?? AND HIS BREATHING HITS YOUR BURNING CHEEKS??

“that’s good, I really thought I was going to have to face him”

he lets out a breathy laugh before letting go you secretly miss his touch and heading for his kitchen

“do you want to eat before going ahead? i mean you’re literally just across my front door so??”

well who are you to say no to that :’)) 

even if it’s possible that he can murder you rn but chan?? hurt someone??

yeah keep telling that to yourself :’))

what you didn’t expect tho was for the two of you to hit it off ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

the two of you have so many things to talk about and it was never awkward and chan was literally listening to whatever bs you were rambling about

and he has such a soft look on his face when he listens to you uwu ɾ⚈▿⚈ɹ

but it wasn’t long before you have to get going bc it’s a school day tomorrow

BUT THAT’S OK !!!

BC THE SECOND U OPENED YOUR DOOR TO HEAD TO COLLEGE HE OPENED HIS WITH A CUTE MORNING SMILE

y’all walk to college together with small talks and he walk you to your first class uwu (▰˘v˘▰)

when lunch arrived you and minho sat at the same table like usual

“soooo how did it went with chan??” minho asked with his mouth stuffed with pasta

“huh??”

minho deadpanned and threw one of his garlic bread at you

sTOP WASTING FOOD U HOE (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง

“i was asking about chan u dumbo”

from the grin on your face minho knew he was going to hear some good tea and drama although he insulted you for being a coward at first

“he’s hooking up with mina :000″

“is that the only thing you heard from what i just said :’<”

he was about to say something else when your junior best friend jisung came running to your table

“why didn’t you tell me!?!? i thought we were friends!?!?” (▰˘︹˘▰)

“tell you what??”

you can tell jisung was clearly offended but you didn’t know why tho 

“that you and chan are dating you traitor!" 

Σ(꒪ȏ꒪)

you and minho shared a look

"i was expecting that”

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???”

jisung look confused so you ended up explaining what happened yesterday with chan

“how did you managed to send him the porn link tho” jisung to a sad y/n, 

“and what the hell did you need the porn link for?” jisung to a flustered minho

“that’s not the point!!” (●o≧д≦)

you slump on your seat with a defeated look and just then did u noticed the look that people are sending you

automatically you hid yourself by snuggling into minho uwu u cute y/n

“oi, you can’t just snuggle into me when everyone thinks you have a boyfriend” — “but i don’t”

“y/n?” 

u look up from minho’s shoulder to see chan

"chan!!!" Σ(゜ロ゜;)

"can we talk for a moment??”

minho nudge you on the elbow, nodding as if to tell you to go ahead so you stood up and followed chan outside the cafeteria

when you’re outside chan faces you with a bothered look

“I’m so sorry for what people are saying about us I’m pretty sure it was mina she usually gossips a lot to her friends but I didn’t expect her to tell them that we’re dating just bc you came yesterday-”

chan was now rambling his apologies just like you did last night he looked cute like that btw

“it’s ok chan!! I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to happen”

chan was relieved when he heard that but he looked like he was still bothered by something

so being the sweetheart you are you asked him what it is ^~^

“can I ask you a favor??” he look uncertain so normally you were concerned

so you nod because !!!!

chan is worried !!!!

so it has to be something big !!!!

“i know this is probably going to be weird bc we just met last night and we’re not that close but-” chan look at your eyes to see if you still want him to continue so you nod at him

“c-can we please date?? but like fake dating and all?? i thought about it and it would really help me avoid those girls who wanted me in their bed and don���t worry i’ll pay you back! i swear-”

(〃ﾟдﾟ〃)!!! 

"d-date!?!?!?” 

you yelped, cheeks burning bright from chan’s offer

HOW CAN YOU NOT??

CHAN LITERALLY ASKED YOU TO DATE HIM !!! IT MAY BE FAKE AND ALL BUT STILL !!! HE ASKED YOU !!! YOU !!! TO DATE !!! OUT OF ALL PEOPLE !!!

and it didn’t help that he said please insert sad uwu :((

AS IF YOU’D SAY NO :((

"i-it’s ok if you don’t want to though!! I won’t force you!!”

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY NO TO BANG CHAN??  DEFINITELY NOT YOU BC!!! IT’S!!! BANG CHAN!!!

“i-im fine with it but why me tho??” bc you’re cute and awesome y/n (ﾟヮﾟ)

your cheeks became even more red than possible when chan gave you cute smile

"well, I really want to get to know you since last night and you weren’t like any girl to be honest”

aaAAHH 

BANG CHAN U BITCH 

Y/N??? 

ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???

you can feel your heart fluttering from his confession definitely not because he was looking at you with a fond smile and soft caring eyes hnghn

“so, are you in?" 

with your trembling weak heart you nodded, knees weakening when he beamed at you and his mother fucking cute dimples showed

you’re doomed :’))

"great! I’ll see you later then”

later?? o-O??

“um what for??”

he chuckled at your confused lil face and patted your head

aaAAHH YOUR HEART JUST SKIPPED THOUSANDS OF BEATS

“for our first date dummy”

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

[spacejew]

oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

[roxannepolice]

But yah rey as a character is just so frustrating you know? Cause like, yeah sure she could be complex with a powerful arc where shes forced to come to terms with the fact she wasted years of her life on self-imposed delusions in a cathartic way, or she could be a flat piece of marketing cardboard which Disney is banking on vagina+superpowers=profit without having to go through that persnicty character flaw overcoming or the like. Because like you said, hearing shes a nobody (which ngl, her assuming she was a somebody wasn’t really ever supported in tfa, just that her family was coming back and she desperately wanted them to) is apparently the worst thing but it changes absolutely nothing, not her approach, not her demeanor , if vaguely sad is the absolute worse a character is gonna experience in a goddamn space opera then yeah, full offense ill take the l on Mary sue discourse but her character will definitely be a boring ass wash. We all make fun of whiny new hope Luke but him being a kinda nuisance to both the audience and those around him is what made is transformation into full blown Jedi knight so powerful. With Rey so far what weve got is badass perfect cinnamon roll finally get her due as such, which is clearly working for some people, but I fail to see how that isn’t spectacularly tone deaf to make a protag in this genre such. Operas about drama, not patting you on the back. Rey (assuming she remains as is) would’ve been fine as a protag s the only piece of Star Wars media we ever got was a new hope. But rn she a chosen one architype (and I know that bunch of ppl are gonna go but the series ‘but shes not the chosen one, Anakin still is, the new series isn’t trying to make her one!’ but lets not beat around the burning bush, if u got a character that walks on water and the reason why is because god said so, ur dealing with a chosen one trope and if a character is star wars is made ultrapowerful in lore breaking ways because force said so? Yeah were dealing with a chosen one.) when we had both the deconstruction and the reconstruction done. Shes a straight hero when the success of the ot rest on hitting the formula near perfect the first time. What exactly is Rey, the individual character, bringing to the table? What makes her story supposedly so important the a perfectly good ending had to be made invalid to tell it? A bunch of ppl will say heroines’ journey! But if that’s the case I gotta say, wheres all the feminine shit? Im serious, if the heroines journey is reintegrating the feminine and realizing ‘oh shit mom had a point’ there where is both the feminine skills/coping mechanism and the mom? I mean I saw some ppl arguing for leia in a ‘reys Persephone!’ meta (she isn’t, you can make a much better case for ben himself as Persephone to be quite frank, yall are focusing so much on the trees ((girl gets abducted by guy)) that u forgot the forest existed, the actually story ((girl winds up queen on the underworld, well gee whiz which character just took control of that after leaving the world of living and a grieving divine mother behind, it’s a mystery apparently) behind, it’s a mystery apparently) ((but seriously though even if we hope for dark rey does anyone assume its gonna be taking control of a dark/dead coded org at least partially at this point, do you, do you really??). but given the fact she had what, one line of screen dialogue that’s breaking ur arm with that stretch. As far as skills go I guess you could make an argument for scavenging, but if that’s the case dlf did a shit job of conveying that as female-coded. Everything about rey in tfa seems deliberately androgynous, and yeah, she had her hair let down/mascara moment, but that’s tied to her ‘failure’ on the supremacy thus something nw.SPEAKIGN OF FAILURES ON THE SUPERAMCY AND LACK THERE OF. I find it kind funny that bunch of reylo bnfs (you know who they are) are all ‘hur dur fanboys/antis are dumb and don’t get story structure.’ And then going, ‘why are yall asking how/assuming rey fucked up in throne room/climax of her story in the second portion/darkest point of her character arc? Why do you hate women/ur own ovaries so much?’ because it like walking into a prefurnished house and being told by the relator ‘HERES THE LIVING ROOM’ and having no damn couch. It’s a living room, I expect a couch here. And in a movie where it’s the low point of a character arc and they drag puppet yoda out to tell me the movie is about failure, I expect a damn failure in whats clearly the climax of the characters arc for this movie. As it stands now there are three possibilities imo. 1st, rey had no failure, she is the pure badass maid o light ppl want and every inch the boring cardboard she is accused of by fanbros, remains static, and is relegated to an also ran to benlo taking the most compelling character trophy this trilogy in 10 yrs2nd possibility and the one im hoping for, failure speech wasn’t just thematic explanation but also foreshadowing, rey fucks up big and dramatic in a way that makes her manage to stand out as unique with both her contemporaries and her predecessors(last part, if its ever to much lemme know pls im sorry i just gotta get it out) 3rd and most likely possibility, rey isn’t the main character, benlo is and that’s why his failure both moral in the throne room and logistic on criat take center stage for the last third or so of the movie. Rey is merely a pov character to tell the dramatic villain protag story they wanted and have their very marketable unproblematic Disney heroine cake too.

Ok, so this discourse kinda died down by now, but thanks to that it’s possible to maybe have a calmer look at it I’m totally not trying to justify my late response.

Anyway, the good result is that quite recently my brother, who’s not overly taken with Rey - or the sequels in general, for that matter - said something which really stuck with me as a possible crux of the problem: 

She’s neither comical nor tragical. Just bland. 

This neither comical nor tragical really struck me. And the more I though about it, the more it was appearing to me that this qualm really applies to the sequels as a whole. The thing is that DLF are essentially telling a straightforward story that they’re trying to make captivatingly convoluted. And not just make, but keep this appearance over four years. And this is... a narrative teeth crasher. Like, when you’re honest about the endgame (in the context of the most structural meanings of comedy and tragedy), you can maintain a decorum, though you can also play with it, of course, whereas when you don’t want to be honest about the endgame, you end up mixing the styles somewhat messily. You can’t break or discuss with the rules without acknowledging them, so to speak. Because the originals were honest about the happy/hopeful endgame (the first episode is title A New Hope ffs), they could allow themselves deeply tragic moments like Larses’ deaths, Han getting frozen, destruction of Alderaan, etc. Because the prequels were open about being a tragedy, they could allow themselves lighthearted comic relief for the sake of lighthearted comic relief. 

The sequels... badly want us to consider the possibility of FO winning and Ben dying unredeemed while simultaneously insisting we root for those things not happening, while appearing conscious we’re definitely not buying the former and the latter only somewhat. And it’s tiresome. Dishonest. And indeed, bland. If the story is a tragedy it will be a bloodcurdlingly real one, if it’s a comedy it will be a borderline grotesque one. 

But yeah, returning to Rey, I guess as the main character she’s a lens which focuses the above problems. A very bitter tragedy of what her parents did t her prevents her from being comfortably comical whereas whoohooos I like thats and prancing like a husky on red bull over idols and visions because it’s for children so it must be hopeful prevents her from being intriguingly tragical. So I guess the intentioned effect was tragicomism but, from pov of an engaged casual fan that is my bro, it’s neither. 

As far as Rey’s heroine’s journey lacking some of the usual elements, I blame it on Disney being... a bit too ambitious, maybe. I think they tried to make a heroine’s journey that isn’t ostentaciously seeped in traditional feminine/masculine traits, maintains the structure without what could be called accidentals. On the one hand, I would point out that hero’s journey has pretty much desexualised itself over time, we are rather accustomed to “shero’s” journeys, but on the other... maybe Disney set out on a too novel a territory and may crack their teeth on it, alongside trying to out-Vader Vader at redemption. To elucidate, “toxic femininity” in which a heroine is supposed to find herself in the beginning of her journey, in Rey’s case is uprooted from any of our usual concepts of feminine-masculine social roles (it’s space, duh). My interpretation is that Rey’s version of toxic femininity kind of exists in contrast with Kylo Ben’s version of toxic masculinity - and since the apparent focus of the story is the attitude towards the past/parent figures, toxic femininity would mean her clutching onto the past. Which is why I predict that some act of IX will find Rey inebriated with apparent success in masculine world, meaning she’ll be the one rejecting the old gods this time - and I would point out that panel in Poe comic where she shows herself more sceptical towards idolisation of past don’t mind me, I’m just expressingmy trash dreams for a proper sith lady Rey.

Then again, Rian Johnson said she already found perfect balance between Luke’s clinginess and Kylo’s rejection of the past, so... idk, maybe I’m giving DLF too much credit again.

As for the Persephone thing, I guess the rub is that this reylo reading focuses less on the traditional reading of the myth (where Demeter is the actual main character and Kore is a Princess Peach MacGuffin) and more of an interpretation of it as one of the eldest (at least in Europe) versions of story depicting a transition of a girl into a woman, making Persephone more of a protagonist. 

Like, y’know, this Persephone (D. G. Rosetti, source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proserpine_(Rossetti_painting))

I’m no expert, but myths can lose their original meanings because of power relations (anyone still remember about Dionysus, the god associated with excessive drinking, going through a very Christ-like death and resurrection?) and I think it’s possible that this is the case with the story of Persephone becoming a pre-scientific explanation of seasons changing over the year. So teah, that’s how I always understood the Persephone theme regarding Rey.

But yes, I must agree that I’m confused about Disney’s handling of the mother figure, which... Look, SW became a legend of a modern myth because of how epically Lucas handled the hero dealing with his very explicit father. So yes, I don’t understand what exactly is their game with Rey Nobody from Nowhere in this regard. It’s one thing that they had a cool idea with giving her no lineage, another that parent figures are an essential element of archetypal journeys and from symbolic viewpoint the case of a female character the biological relationship is even more crucial than in male’s. And I swear to all the ewoks and porgs in the galaxy, I do hope Disney’s idea of Rey healing the mother/daughter divide isn’t through her healing the divide between Leia and Ben. Again, this isn’t the idealistic sphere. Just... no. 

Anyway, I still maintain hope (this whole meta blog is built on hope) that Rey will indeed turn out to have a proper personal mistake which will make her stand out in the saga. I do have to admit, though, that I find your last theory very likely. I mean, even when I read all the reylo metas going oh, Rey is going to have such an exciting arc in IX, she has so much to deal with though of course it’s not going to compromise her morally, it will be sooo exciting, I just... f*ck’s sake, what you’re describing isn’t a dramatic character only a dramatised role model. It’s great if that’s your thing, but don’t claim it is space opera-worthy, in operas people drown themselves because of cursed sailors, kill over a break up, decapitate over a bad dream and get dragged to hell over a dinner, not persuade their fallen lovers to change their ways, let alone patienly wait for them the understand the error of their ways (and if they do it’s doomed to end in someone dying).

[mysteriescomeinthrees]

EPISODE 2: Hurricane Jordan Pines is coming - Jordan Pines

girl what the actual fuck was that like.... Eve was ROBBED ok. Absolutely positively robbed! *Sighs* ok here we go Episode 2: Not All Fear Is The Same https://voca.ro/13U2UMQI90Qm

So we lost the puzzle challenge, and I’m so fucking conflicted because we kinda lost due to Coulee’s mistake which gave us penalty points. So I’m caught in this mindset of not wanting Coulee to be punished for that because it was an honest mistake but I also don’t feel good about someone else going home when it was that mistake that made us lose in the first place if that makes sense it just wouldn’t be fair, also I’m working with Coulee because we wanted to avenge Eve and kick ass and this genuinely is just such a bummer. Also y’all I don’t think you understand how like complicated this is because of the trio twist. Because every decision you make and everything you say can reflect on your trio in some aspect. You say something that rubs someone the wrong way it could go back to your trio and fuck one of them over the next time anyone of them isn’t safe. 

ok here’s plan: I will say I got a medallion if asked about the bay and THATS IT. I’m taking all advantages with me and I ain’t telling a soul, not even my trio. Cause these girls talk too much. Then Imma get the tea from Andrew and see what’s happening on green. And then I’m gonna size up the other two groups to see who’s ready for war on Ozarks. Streets say Jabari is still in the sunken place and is still being loyal to Henry but that’s ok. That just means there’s an opening and I’m looking for recruits- any takers 😏

So we of course didnt try our best but it didnt matter thanks to my advantage. On the offside that could mean that eve or another ally could be in dnager, I have made friends with jinx and henry right away and am trying to win my tribe over despite the whole amount of issues roxy brings. I love her to death but she made enemies way too early in the game especially in the way this game is formatted. only the the social survive 👑

Coulee is in danger for really messing up the challenge and even though normally that would be a plausible way to go I can't afford this like literally I worked to hard ve doing this all by myself and alone. Currently I'm doing everything in my power to make sure coulee stays and we get another day.

going back to my my montenegro roots and submitting one sentence confessionals as a bare minimum. anyways eve baby you will be avenged white women are wild

  also if coulee goes home today truly y'all are gonna see a bitch on a war path.

if i decide to wake up.

I feel like I’m gonna get first boot on my tribe after the stunt that Sarah pulled cause she voted out Eve whom is jabaris friend, whom is my tight tight ally on this tribe. But we won the challenge so it’s fine. I got a vote expose advantage last cycle I forgot to mention! Roxy has told me that Sarah and bodhi are her nemises and those are like my two closest allies and she knows that like wtf.

I 1000% tell Andrew too much and it's 100% because I'm just used to talking to him in my host chat This was way less of an issue with Asya and Isaac when I played with them because they only hosted me once and weren't super interactive If Andrew doesn't fuck me over then they've 100% joined the list of people that I will always work with in an org Sarah has already made that list because I am a dumby Pretty blonde girl said "Call me daddy spice" and I said "Yes pls" Wait if Andrew joins that list then literally half of that list is in this game That would be insane there's no way Andrew is gonna join the list then I'd be stuck with another atomic situation where bodhi and Ali didn't get along and I asked to be voted out partially so I didn't have to pick sides WHAT IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN SARAH AND BODHI I WILL SIMPLY DIE

I have 5 min to submit this hehe so here’s some random shit Literally eve was SO PUSHED sarah RESPOND to me pls omg you just got 5 votes last tribal and I wanna change that and be allies but you gotta respond PLS Andrew is an angel hello? Love him so much and they’re so sweet to talk to and we’re so far always on the same page? LOVE Autumn is literally a bestie but we already knew that didn’t we! Cindi also a bestie omg literally I hope we don’t go to tribal because I could see it being either Cindi or sarah that goes and Cindi going would NOT be it for me

Hello, this is a mandatory confessional. I am feeling decently on my tribe as I have been playing my social connections to try to start relationships. I have my eyes set on kai a bit at the moment as someone who I want out sooner rather than later, nothing against kai, like he seems like a very cool person who I definitly get along with, but his trio scares me in this game as a big agent of the unknown and I would rather not have to deal with their gameplay in the later parts of this. I feel pretty shitty tbh cause coulee is someone I like a lot and could definitly see a game relationship being strong but she fucked up hard in the challenge and no one is willing to budge on the issue. Let it be stated here first, i tried to get it to be kai but people said jordan pines no thank you. So im gonna hold my trigger finger on kai a little longer and buddy up to him some more so hes not sus of my actions. but mark it down if the joyita boat goes to council again I will drown his ass because hurricane jordan pines is coming and people best be putting on some life jackets or they are going down.

joyita wins immunity all six of us are final three ☺️😔☺️😔

Safe again!! I have been in limbo because I’ve been at school and training…hopefully it stays this way though?? I’m worried about Carson tonight and Sarah’s idol play really put 101 in the spotlight. But if Carson votes out Kai- they may just keep losing 

Fuck working full time I’m at work rn LOL but uhm we won immunity i wanna kiss jinx on the mouth I will die for jinx and roxy said she wants to work w me bc I gave roxy permissions to spam me more to come at *checks watch* idk when I get off work ig 

The game is progressing 

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1125554073

[awritesfanfics]

Not Your Fight Pt. 1

Here’s one of my longer fics, probably gonna split it in two parts (yep) bc I ramble so so much but that’s because I need to connect things, and that means describing more settings and explaining more actions and ahhh if you don’t like when I do this let me know!! But I think it just adds to the story :)

So I wrote this after watching Homecoming but a lot of it is based back in civil war, if you have homecoming-centered requests just let me knoww!!

(part 1 is basically just a bunch of filler tbh, a link to pt 2 is at the bottom!)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: (im sorry im on mobile and I cant deal w this formatting rn, it's around 2,000 words thanks)

Warnings: Violence, Cursing

Tags:  @yourgayonlinemom

———————————————————————————————————–Ding

“Notre Dame.”

“Correct.”

Ding

“Tel Aviv.”

“Correct.”

Ding

“Luncheon of the boating party.”

“Okay, how? Can I ask how? Because there’s actually no way for you to know this stuff.” Flash sat back in his chair in disbelief.

“Are you being serious? Or are you just jealous that i beat your time again? Because I can do this all day, I don’t have a problem,” you challenged, leaning closer. Michelle giggled.

“She had to have studied the answers before, even I didn’t know half that stuff! Me, not knowing something.”

“Excuse me, isn’t that why I’m on this team? Because I’m smart? And if everyone knew the same things, we wouldn’t get anywhere,” you snapped. “By the way, if you haven’t noticed by now, there are -” you counted the people in the room out loud. “- 7 other people here that are valuable members of the decathlon team. Maybe if you stopped kissing your own ass so much you would notice them.”

Michelle almost fell out of her chair. Flash was too shocked to even respond.

“Woah, okay I think that’s a good place to stop for the day,” Mr. Harrington said, finally intervening. “Same time tomorrow. Don’t forget permission slips.”

“Yea, call me if he ever comes up for air.” You nodded towards flash. “I’d love to introduce him to everyone on the team.” You stood, tossed your backpack over your left shoulder, and picked up your books from the table.

“Thank you, Miss (Y/L/N), that’s enough. See you tomorrow.”

You nodded and smiled at him, then at Flash, who was still recovering on the other side of the room. You could hear Michelle and Liz picking at him as you turned to leave.

Peter collected his things and sprinted over to catch up with you.

“Where the hell did all of that come from?!” He laughed.

“What do you mean? I’ve never liked flash. He’s always been full of himself, I couldn’t take it anymore.”

He looked at you and shook his head, giggling.

“Oh, hey, that reminds me!” You stopped and turned to face him. “I got a call about the Stark Internship, I think I’m in! They want me to go in for an interview in a few hours,” you squealed.

He cocked his head slightly, and seemed to hesitate. You took the question right from his lips.

“Don’t worry, Spidey, I’m not going to steal your thunder as the new friendly neighborhood superhero. From what I read, it sounds like it’s just a logistics position,” you shrugged. “Somewhere in the background.”

“No, no I’m not worried about that. It’s just, things can get pretty intense out there. Gotta be ready for anything.”

“I think I can handle it.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“So um, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Or, tonight, if you’ll be there too.”

“Yea, maybe, I’ll see what happens. See ya.”

You smiled, but as he walked away your smile disappeared.

What isn’t he telling me about this? Why is he so worried? Your mind reeled with unasked questions. You never considered yourself a fighter, but you could hold your own against everyone that’s come after you in the past. You were a teenage girl from Queens, you had to learn to defend yourself at a young age. And you certainly had the brains for anything Tony stark wanted to throw at you.

I’ll be fine. I have to stop overthinking this. Just gotta get through the interview.

As you stepped outside the gym, a tired looking man in a clean cut suit standing in front of a black Escalade greeted you.

“Good afternoon Miss (Y/L/N).” The man held open the door for you.

“Good afternoon. I don’t believe we’ve met, formally. You are?” You offered your hand for a handshake, but he ignored it.

“I was sent by Mr. Stark to bring you to work. You start today.” He looked at his watch. “Well, in a few hours.”

“Work? I was under the impression that it was just a job interview. I don’t have the right outfit, I mean, these are just my school clothes. And my mom, I told her-”

“Well, there’s been a change of plans. Everything you need is right in the back seat.”

You stuck your head in to check. A women’s two-piece suit hung on hangers by the other door, a silver suitcase rested below the seat, and a microphone earpiece sat on top of your passport, which was placed carefully on the back seat.

“How did you get all this stuff? Is that suit for me?” Your phone started vibrating, and you excused yourself to take the call. “Hello?”

“Hey (Y/N), it’s Tony, yea plans for the uhh, whatever, the thing we had later-”

“The interview?”

“Right, the interview, yea plans have changed. I sent Happy over there with your stuff, your mom packed it for you, such a nice woman. Hope your ready for some on the job training today.”

“Yea, I mean-”

He hung up. You took a deep breath and put your phone back in your pocket.

“So you’re Happy?”

“Yes, but if we wait any longer, I’ll be Impatient. We’re on a schedule, let’s go.”

With a nudge, you got into the back seat and shut the door behind you. “Am I supposed to change into this right now?”

“No, you can change in the plane.” He answered.

Plane? Where the hell am I going?

-

You watched out the window the entire flight. In the small bathroom you got changed into the perfectly-tailored navy suit. The material was strong, but breathable. You could move around very well in it, but you could tell it was resistant to some degree of tearing.  You slipped the earpiece into your ear and looked at yourself in the mirror.

Oh God, you said to yourself. This is really happening. Holy shit.

As the plane landed you could finally tell where you were. Germany, at the Leipzig/Halle airport. Happy led you through an airfield, with passenger jets and shipping containers waiting to be piloted into the tall hangars that stood scattered nearby. You took an elevator up to the observation tower of one of the hangars.

“This is amazing.” You stepped out of the elevator, taking everything in. Happy clicked the ‘door close’ button behind you. “Wait! What’s my job?”

“Make yourself at home, find something to do.”

You looked around. No one even noticed you’d walked in. You figured you’d start by introducing yourself. Maybe they’d have been expecting you.

“Hi! My name is-”

“Tall decaf, extra cream, no sugar.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not an intern, I’m-”

“I get it. You’re an ‘executive assistant’ or something, right?”

“No, I was hired by Mr. Stark to-”

“Look, I know you mean well, but we have work to do. Please,” he handed you $5 and shooed you away.

“Excuse me, sir, but Tony Stark personally sent for me-”

The man turned around and rolled his eyes. “We didn’t get any word from a ‘Tony Stark’. I don’t know why you’re here, and frankly, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. So I’d you could just get the coffee orders from everyone else and be on your way sweetheart, I’d appreciate it.”

Suddenly, you took him by the neck and slammed his face on the desk next to you. He fell to the floor, groaning, and in shock.

“I got my associates degree in bioelectrical engineering freshman year of high school. I was sent here to do a job. I’m not here to buy your coffee, ‘sweetheart,’” You said, tucking the $5 bill back into his pocket and smoothing out your blazer.

All eyes were on you now. You still had no idea what you were meant to do, but you went along with it anyway.

Fake it till you make it, right?

You took a seat at an empty desk overlooking the airfield.

A voice came in through the loudspeakers.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Well, I’m not your captain, officially, my friend (Y/N) here is. Wave to the people (Y/N). So as you’ve figured out by now, she will be in charge of every move you make for the rest of- you know you’ll be able to figure out when it’s over. So yea, just listen to her, fasten your seat belts, and get ready for a bumpy ride.”

You nodded matter-of-factly.

Tony’s voice came through on your personal mic next.

“You ready for this?”

“Well I don’t exactly know what ‘this’ is,” you whispered.

“We need you in air traffic control. Keep an eye out for anything that might get us killed. You’ll know it when you see it.”

“Fair enough.”

A different voice now boomed over the loudspeaker in German, followed by a blaring siren.

“What do I do? They’re evacuating the airport,” you asked.

“You speak German now to? That’s so cool.”

“Yea my grandma- look, now’s not the time. What do I do?”

“Tell them they have to watch to make sure everyone is out safely.”

You repeated the message to the group. “We must continue our day as we normally would, and keep an eye out for the unauthorized use of ballistic missiles and report it to me.”

A small panic arose. “There is nothing to be worried about. Just monitor the use. If anything gets out of hand, we simply intervene. Back to work.”

You sat down and tuned your earpiece to pick up Tony’s conversation. In the distance, you could see people walking towards each other. He was arguing with Steve. You watched as more of the Avengers joined them, picking sides, before they split into two groups and fanned out.

“It’s showtime. You ready up there?” He asked.

“Copy.”

You watched as Tony and Rhodes countered Clint’s arrows, Wanda’s bursts of light, and Steve’s shield. More than half the fight was airborne. You navigated the battlefield for Tony, Natasha, Peter, warning them of every blow, counterattack, and predictable outcome of their individual physical matches. You watched as the flyers took to the air, with Tony circling the tower you occupied.

“Tony, you got a bandit on your six. I’m turning him into a glider.” You heard Rhodes over the earpiece. You watched as both Iron soldiers sandwiched the observation tower, with Falcon and 17 civilians caught in the crosshairs.

“Stop! Stop stop stop! There are civilians in this control tower, I repeat, civilians in the control tower!!” Your trembling voice echoed across the sound waves. “Abort strike, abor-”

The missile misfired at the last second, crashing into the side of the hangar and taking out the elevator shaft. Suddenly, the channel went silent. A fire began to spread around the sight of the impact. Within minutes, the whole tower would collapse in flames.

Both sides froze, unsure of what to do.

“Wait wait wait, what was that?” Peter stuck his head up from behind a shipping crate and turned to Tony.

“Tony, who was that?! Karen, get me a visual on that hangar. How many people are in there?”

“17. Records of past voice analysis data indicates that the voice that called out for a ceasefire belonged to a Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Shit!” He yelled, sending his fist into the nearby shipping crate. “Tony! You brought her here?!”

“This isn’t your fight, kid. Stay here.”

But it was too late. Peter shot webbing onto the nose of a 747 and swung, then caught the nose of another, and another. The building was up ahead, a fire just beginning to break out near the site of the explosion. People working on the ground gathered around the exit, eagerly watching the entrance for more survivors.

The people in the tower began to panic again, this time for good reason. You knew you had to get the group under control, or no one would make it out.

“Everything is going to be fine. We all just have to keep walking. File into the staircase. There is a doorway right at the bottom. Once we get through it, you’ll be able to see the exit, and you can run, but I ask you to please not run here,” you ordered calmly. It took all the strength in your body to keep your voice steady. “If we start running in here, someone may trip or get hurt. The exit is very close, and you’ll all be fine, I promise.” You cracked a worried smile as you ushered the group down the remainder of the narrow stairwell. You pushed the doors and held one side open for the workers. With the light of the exit door in view, they fell into a dead sprint, as if they were racing not the time before the fire engulfed the hanger, but each other.

“If everyone out? Can anyone tell me if everyone got out?”

No answer. You took a deep breath and looked up the stairwell.

I can’t risk it. You shook your head and pushed away from the door, skipping steps as you sped back up to the fourth-story office space.  

The once bustling room was now filled with emergency lights and smoke. You stayed low, calling out for any remaining workers before turning to leave. One final visual sweep of the floor settled your nerves; you were the only one left. Suddenly, you started to hear the loud creaking of twisting metal. The floor shook beneath you and began to tilt. The observation tower was falling.

You threw yourself down as many stairs as you could manage before the tower hit the ground.

The closer I am to the ground, maybe the closer I am to a solid foundation. 

Within an instant, the entire building was leveled.

-

Part 2!