#anyway im going to bed now bc its 4am

[doodlboy]

Ohh now I get why ppl are saying not to spoil ghost trick's ending

[be-good-to-bugs]

why can i not clean my room?

[silouvertongues]

sooooo glad i stopped watching jjk after the first episode i would've died tonight if i was actually into it

[ursogoldenn]

september 29, 2024 dear diary...

today was an okay day. i woke up at noon, which is never ideal. though i guess that's kidna my fault for going to bed at 4am. then i just kinda rotted around. i scrolled on tumblr a bit, practiced a little piano, and finished writing the first chapter of red. i also had a bit of homework to catch up on, reading and stuff. but it was easy. and i also had to study for my chem test tomorrow, i dont know if i feel ready for it but oh well. my brothers were stupid and got yelled at and im lowkey really frustrated right now but this is meant to be a diary, not a vent blog. so its fine. anyway yeah we took family pictures and i feel like my hair was really ugly but whatever. i got to wear this cute green dress and i felt cute in that little outfit i put in the picture on the top of this post bc i was wearing it as i got ready. and yeah i think today was okay, i kinda feel like crap and i dont know whats wrong with me with my motivation to do anything :/ but im fine. im gonna try to be more productive this week and reach out to my chemistry teacher to see if theres anything i can do about my grade

looking forward to: having the day off from school on friday! proud of myself for: writing the first 1000 words of a new book song stuck in my head: me and my husband by mitski

[legobatjoker]

okay its 4am iv been up for. almost 24 hours andi feel myslef spiarloing aggh. why am i like this lucy why di i do this to myself i also just went to csweekly and instead of queing a post were i fake how i excited i am just went fuck it its on pause no one seems to care abt this show anymore so why am i doing it bc im already so sick of running tihs blog nad then had a realization abt how dead the carulia and other cs tags are of lik.e why tf am i doing tihs if im theo nly one who still cares abt this show kinda and csweekly is doing notihng to fix that lmao which hurts bc i dont want this fandom to be dead but also its not like im adding to it when all my energy is going into running the stupid csweekly blog anyway agh sorry for kinda venting like i said ot doing the best lol so im going to go to bed like RN but boefire i do okay this is gonna se so shirt bc im so tired i just wnat ot acutally sleep but i do rly wanna say thait had sosos much fun listeing to speak now tv together nad calling today it really was soso wonderful just like it always is to spend time with you love nadi hope you know that you really are just the most ownderful incredible firend in the world and bring me soso much joy nad light and happinesss and im soso lucky and grateful to know you my love and you just makem feelsoso lveod and cared for and safe and warm with you and you really do just meaneverytihng to me and i hope you know i lrealyl do just lvoe you osso very much my dearest, gnight <3 !!!!

aghhhh nauurrrr not thee 24 hours awake miseries :(((!! i hope u can get smmmm rest and sleep in smmmm u deserve it especially with having had to deal with cs weekly taking soo much of your energy for so long and the reception for it trailing off like-___-!! that is rlllyyy very frustrating to see happen with something your putting that much effort and time into especially for such an amazing show that u love so much and like not being able to just enjoy it like you should get to like:((( thats rlly rlly tough but im really proud of u for making the decision to put the blog on break since that really sounds like it is the best decision possible for u rn and whether or not u decide to take it off break ill either be happily waiting for it or happy to just watch cs whenever which ykw is easy enough for me since i rlly love watching cs and i esp loeve watching it with you:33!!! but yeah anyway omgg calling today was sososoo much funnn im so glad we got to and yah ur just suchhh an amazing friend to me all around and bring smm joy and light to my world and u really do mean thee absolute world to me and!! i jsut love you sososo muchhh gnightt💕💕🫶🏻💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻

[useless-bisaster]

Man I sure do fucking miss being able to breathe, fuck RA so much honestly

[risaonda]

I can't believe I forgot how fucking funny sims 2 is. my sim got promoted and her hours changed so her new start time was an hour after she'd just gotten home, so it made her go back to work and she immediately got promoted again

[wh6res]

127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

[botheredbuck]

Callum racing through the hospital to get to and be with Ben headcannons (not the shooting) x

okay so i wrote an entire post reply to this and the realised it barely touched on the actual prompt lmao so yeah i came up with another idea right

so im goin with in canon, so i think it was like two weeks ago just before callum confessed about the whole fitzy situation and he says when ben comes back that he was waiting up till like 2 or something, like ben had gone out to drink his sorrows right

so callum's waiting for him in the flat, in the living room and it's like 2am and everyone else has gone to bed and there's some crappy film he's barely watching on the TV because the only thing that's going through his head is just ben and how much he's fucked up and he just feels awful

and all this shit with fitzy is just starting to creep in and he's lost and he just needs ben, just needs someone to come and hold him but he can't admit it

but right now he's that close that he almost calls ben, tells him to come home and just hold him because callum thinks he's going to just lose it

and then just as he picks his phone up it starts ringing with an unknown number and callum's just got this feeling in his chest

but he picks it up

callum mitchell?

yeah- yeah that's me

and it's someone from walford general saying that he's come up as emergency contact for a ben mitchell and callum's stomach drops

but the woman on the phone tells him that ben's fine, that he's had a fall and that someone needs to come pick him up so callum says he will and hangs up the phone and he's out of the door quicker than seems humanly possible because its all well and good the doctor telling him that ben's fine but there's already this anxiety in his chest that's telling him what if and it's scaring him out of his mind and he can't stop thinking about fitzy in that same hospital

but somehow he gets there in one piece and he's just sprinting across the car park and up to the desk and some woman with a kind face asks him if he needs help because he's already hyperventilating without the running but he just says i need- my husband, i need to find my husband

but she smiles at him kindly, asks for the name and tells him to take a deep breath, and he does as she leads him round the corner to where ben's sat up on the edge of a bed, head in his hands and she explains before they get there it's just some heavy bruising but nothing broken, and that he just needs to keep an eye on things over night and callum nods and thanks her

and ben must hear them walking over because he looks up and their eyes meet and ben looks surprised to see him there and it breaks callum's heart

and so the nurse leaves them alone and says ben's free to go and the second they're alone ben just says can we get out of here? fucking loud and callum realises how overwhelming it must be for ben because ever since the implant hes not been great with loud places so callum doesn't say anything just leads him out and to the car

(idk if they have a car but just go with me okay)

and neither of them say anything until they get back to walford and into the flat and they're both trying to be quiet bc it's like 4am by now but ben says he needs a shower so callum's just sat there in the living room listening to the shower and it's some sort of a reminder that he's not alone in this

so as soon as ben gets out of the shower he just says im sorry. you needed me tonight and i wasn't there and ben just frowns and says think that was you coming to pick me up, yeah? and callum just looks over at him and it's still so tense between them and callum hates it

and the thought of losing ben, however irrational it is, comes back to him because the feeling he'd had when the call had said ben was at the hospital

so he just- spills it all.

tells ben everything about what's happened with fitzy, and talks about how the minute he'd heard that phone call come through he'd just been thinking he was gonna lose ben and he just- starts sobbing on their sofa

and- as much as ben maybe still has some reservations about the last week or so, ben just collapses on the sofa next to him and holds him, and it feels like whatevers been between them is finally starting to melt away, finally

and they kiss after that, and callum kisses every one of bens bruises carefully and apologises over and over again because once he's started he can't seem to stop and ben just tells him there's no need and they're just- them again

(idk if i like this but here ya go anyways, hope u like it and thank u for being patient!!)

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

[selfsaving]

it’s

OSCARS  NIGHT  BABEY   !!!!!

[farfromtommy]

the rest of our lives //chris evans x reader

A/N: wrote this bc I couldn't sleep. its almost 4am and im tired but felt like writing some cute shit tonight. I love this so much and sorry if it doesn't make sense and for the mistakes but I LOVE IT. pls give it some love . 

Summary: chris and y/n visit her childhood home and tell her parents about their plans for the future

Warnings: angst, FLUFFFFFFFFFFFF, language I think, age gap but its not gross (chris 38, reader 22)

Word Count: 3,780

masterlist

With one final zip of your suitcase you were ready for your trip. You and your boyfriend of 2 years, Chris, were taking a couple days off to spend time with your parents. You hadn’t seen them since your college graduation and they had been bugging you for months for you and Chris to spend some time in your hometown. 

You were currently living in Boston and had completely expected that you weren’t going back home following your completion of university. Your life was in Boston. Although you missed your parents and your sister, you were so ready to start this new chapter of your life and be able to make it your own. 

You and Chris had been looking for a house together since you decided to stay in Boston with him. Your relationship was headed in a good direction and both of you were 100% in it for the long run. You wanted to wait till after you graduated to move in together, not wanting to worry about anything besides school. Chris had his realtor on the phone the minute your grades for your last semester had been finalized and everything was approved for graduation. 

When you sat down with him and both said what you were looking for in a house, the topic of kids came up. You knew Chris wanted a family, and you did too. You had both agreed to bring the conversation up again after some time in the house together. You were secretly hoping he was planning on proposing to you soon. You’ve been dropping major hints at him through your Pinterest board ever since you started having serious conversations about your future with each other. You were ready for it all. You wanted to marry Chris and fill your beautiful new home with a bunch of kids. 

You were also slowly convincing him to get Dodger a friend since both of you were always working, and you wanted to make sure he was never lonely when you were at work. 

Your amazing realtor had found a beautiful house right outside of Boston that had everything you were both looking for. You were just waiting for the final pieces of paperwork to come in and finally be able to call the house yours. 

Your lease on your apartment was up last month and had been staying at Chris’s place. All of the big things you didn’t sell from your place were in storage and everything else was with you. 

When you had mentioned to your sister that you and Chris were days away from closing on your new home, she had asked how your parents felt about everything. 

“They know our relationship is serious. They met him at graduation and had known about him well before that. Mom even talked about us having a fall wedding here, since the weather would be perfect. I haven’t told them about the house since we’ve known about this trip since everything with the house started. I want to tell them in person, so don’t mention anything to them.” You huffed. 

“I talked to mom the other day and she thinks that you made a mistake staying there to be with Chris. She doesn’t think your relationship is going to last, since he’s so much older than you. Hell, that’s what everyone thinks. She’s just worried, I think.” She expressed. 

“I’ve been hearing all of that for the past 2 years from everyone I know, especially from mom. Nobody knows our relationship better than we do. We both want the same things and are happy being together. So what if he’s older than me? Dad is way older than mom and no one questions the integrity of their relationship, why does everyone have to question mine?” I said back. 

“I know. I know you keep hearing this, and I’m sorry. I’m really happy for you, Y/N. I really am. Buying a house together is a big deal and I’m glad you’re ready to do that with him. You have everything so figured out and people are just jealous. I mean, you have the hottest dude in Hollywood in your bed every night. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that?” She chuckled. 

“Anyway, we’ll talk more when you get here! I’m so excited to see you. Call me when you land and I’ll meet you at home. Love you!! See you tomorrow.” The line clicked and you threw your phone onto your bed. You let out a deep sigh and moved your suitcase off of the bed so you could collapse. 

You were slowly dozing off when you had heard Dodger starting to bark, alerting you that Chris was home. He had been doing some small indie films in Boston, not wanting to get back into major productions until you were settled in your new house. You picked yourself off your bed and walked into the living room, seeing Chris toe off his shoes and place his things down. He greeted Dodger and walked over to you, mumbling a quick hi and placed a quick kiss onto your lips. 

“Hi my love, how was your day?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen. You took a seat on the barstool facing the kitchen, and watched as Chris started to look around for something to snack on. 

“It was pretty good. Work was how it usually is. I came home early and got all my packing done for the trip and just cleaned a little bit around the house. I left some things you might want to pack out on the bed just incase. How was yours? Anything exciting happen on set?” You asked, leaning back on your chair.

“Wrapped up everything I needed to do so I could relax and enjoy the next couple of days without worrying about needing to get back to set.” He took a beer out of the fridge and leaned against the counter and took a drink from the bottle. “How are you feeling about seeing your parents and telling them about the house? You haven’t really said much about it.” He took another sip and walked closer to you. 

He sat in the chair next to you and just looked at you, waiting for your response. You thought for a moment, collecting your thoughts before giving him an honest answer. You sighed and thought about the conversation you had with your sister. 

“I’m excited to tell time, but really nervous. I talked to my sister earlier and she had told me that my mom has been having doubts about us and was just worried that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and blah blah blah. But I’m ready to set everything straight and tell her that she can’t doubt us anymore. It’s important to us that we do this and she needs to be on board with that. I know she’ll be happy for us, but you know how she gets. I think dad will be happy for us. He really like you, y’know. Tells me all the time that I need to fly him up here so you two can go to a Pats game. Poor guy had a house full of women his entire life and now he finally has the son he always wanted.” You rambled slightly. 

“Everything is gonna a work out, don’t be nervous. It’s 4 days with your parents and then we close on the house when we get back and should be moved in by the end of the next month. I know how important your family is to you and how much it means to to get their support on this, but you have so many other people who support you. You’re basically and Evans now and you have all of them standing behind us, cheering us on. Don’t worry too much on what might happen with them, but think about what’s happening with us now. Our life together is finally getting started.” He grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it before pulling you off the chair and moving you closer to him. You stood between his legs and wrapped your arms around him. His comment about you being an Evans filled your stomach with butterflies but you didn’t think much into it. 

For the rest of the night you just sat on the couch watching movies and eating random snacks you had in the pantry, not bothering to cook something for dinner. You snuggled up next to Chris and Dodger was next to you as you stayed in the living room well into the night. You had fallen asleep on the couch and next thing you knew, you were being placed on your side of the bed and tucked in gently. 

Chris placed a kiss on your forehead and moved some of your Y/H/C hair out of your face. You sleepily smiled at him before turning to your side and let sleep consume you. You heard shuffling around the room, assuming Chris was finishing any packing he had left. You woke when you felt the bed dip beside you and your were wrapped in a pair of strong arms. You moved closer to Chris and let sleep take over you once again. 

~

It was late afternoon and you and Chris had landed safely in your hometown. You were driving down the street that was still so familiar to you. You saw your parent’s house come into full view as you instinctually turned a corner. You drew in a sharp breath as you put your rental car in park and stared up at your childhood home. You had spent so many years of your life here and it was so weird not seeing it as your home anymore. You looked over at Chris and he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. He grabbed some of his things and opened the car door and stepped out. 

You walked up to the front door hand in hand and raised your hand up to ring the doorbell. Not even 5 seconds later your mom had answered the door and immediately wrapped you in a hug. She grabbed your shoulders and looked at you with joy. She brought you in for another hug before giving one to Chris. 

“It’s good to see you again, Chris! How have things been going for you?” Your mom questioned, moving out of the way so you could walk inside. 

“Everything has been going great, thank you! How have you and Y/D/N been?” Chris asked, looking at the beautiful house he walked into. He had never seen this place in person, just in pictures you had and through a phone whenever he was around when you video called your parents.

 It was so elegantly decorated. Family photos littered the walls, he could pick you out of all of them. One of the things he had hoped he’d get a chance to see were photos from your childhood. You have been through every photo album the Evans family had created, thanks to his mom. You knew he was looking forward to those, so you had made sure your mom pulled them out of storage for him. 

“Same old same old. We’ve been really looking forward to you guys coming to visit us. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made Y/D/N clean this house over the past week. Had to make sure everything was in tip top shape for your first visit.” She winked at Chris and looked back at you. You plopped down on the couch, exhausted from your hectic day. 

“Thank you, Y/M/N. It’s really a beautiful house.” Chris said as he sat down next to you on the couch, putting his arm across the back of it. She nodded at him and went to go find your dad. You leaned into Chris’s side and he put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. He placed a kiss on the top of your head before continuing to take in his surroundings. 

“Don’t fall asleep before giving your old man a hug!” Your dads voice said as he walked into the living room. You and Chris both stood up and you ran into your dads arms. You loved both of your parents, but you were always closer to your dad. He gave you a big hug, picking you up off the ground slightly and placed a kiss on your cheek. Chris walked up to him and extended his hand for a handshake once you were done greeting your dad. 

“It’s great to see you! Glad you guys could take the time to make it out here.” Your dad said, shaking Chris’s hand and pulling him in for a “bro” hug. 

“Me too. I’m excited to finally be here. I’ve heard a lot of stories and seen a lot of pictures of Y/N growing up here.” Chris said as everyone took a seat in the living room, the two of you going back to your original spots. 

You all sat around the living room talking for a while, just catching up on everything that had been happening in your lives. Your dad and Chris started to get into sports talk and your mom motioned for you to go with her to the kitchen. You stood up from your spot, excusing yourself from the conversation you were no longer interested in and followed your mom. She poured you glass of wine, and then one for herself and told you to take it to the back porch while she got something for your dad and Chris. You sat down on one of the chairs and got comfortable, your mom joining you a few minutes later. 

“So, how are things in Boston with Chris? We haven’t really talked much about it. After graduation we thought you were going to come back, and then you stayed and we were all kinda confused.” Your mom said taking a sip from her glass. 

“Things are really great between us right now. Chris has been spending most of his time in Boston doing some small projects so I see him basically everyday. Work has been going super well, I’m loving every second of it. I know you guys were really disappointed when I didn’t come back, but my life is in Boston now. Chris is there and all my frien-“ You were saying before your mom cut you off. 

“So Chris is your life now? Chris and work? What happened to family first? You were supposed to come home and help us out. We thought you were going to find your own place here and find a job and be able to be here for us. We were there for you all your life.” She criticized. 

“Mom, I’m 22 years old. Don’t you think I’m old enough to start building my own life? Chris and I are building our future together and I couldn’t just leave and continue doing that from here. I wasn’t going to make him uproot his life up to follow me here just because you wanted me to. I’m sorry that you don’t agree with my decisions but I think I’m allowed to decide what I think is best for me.” You said back to her. She rolled her eyes at your response. Before she could say anything back your sister opened the door excitedly greeting you. You were relieved she was finally here to pull you out of the conversation that had taken a turn south between you and your mom. 

You had gone inside with your sister and saw that she brought dinner for everyone. You went over to Chris and asked him to help you get your bags out of the car before you sat down for dinner. He had noticed your change in mood and quickly followed you outside. You quickly ranted to him about what your mom had said and blew off some steam before heading back inside with your things. Chris followed you up to your childhood bedroom, where you two would be staying for the next few nights. It was still the way you had left it. Pictures of your high school friends scattered around the walls, and posters of things you loved when you were in high school. Chris chuckled at some of them and you two headed back to the dining room. 

Dinner had been going well, despite your moms discreet bashes at your life choices, you ignored them and continued to enjoy the rest of the meal. As everyone was finishing, you decided it was as good a time as any to bring up the big news. 

“So mom and dad, you guys don’t know this but Chris and I have been talking a lot the past couple months about our future and where we see it going. Things between us have been getting serious for a long time, but we just put off pulling the trigger on anything until I finished school and found a good job. Now that I am done with school and found a really amazing job, we decided that it was time to start settling down and getting ready for the rest of our lives together. With that being said, when we get back home, we are closing on a beautiful house that we found. We bought a house and we’ll be moved into it by the end of next month.” You said looking to your parents, hoping to be able to read their expressions. Your sister had a smile on her face, already knowing the news. 

Chris grabbed your hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You shot him a small smile and looked back at your parents. Your mom had an unreadable expression. She seemed to be going through a lot of things in her mind as she processed everything you had just said. You looked at your dad, hoping to get  a better reaction from him. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the space between you and Chris, and gave you two the most bone crushing hug possible. He whispered a few words of encouragement to you two before letting go and going back to his seat. 

“I’m so happy for you two. This is such a big step in any relationship and it can be really tricky. You seem to be handling it with grace and I’m really proud of you two. I’m sure you have searched high and low for the perfect home for you two, and I already know its going to be beautiful. I hope that once you are all moved in and settled and are ready for guests, you invite us to spend a couple days up there with you. All I ask is that you make sure the Pats are playing so Chris here can show me how you New Englanders party when they play.” Your dad said, looking at your and Chris with such love and admiration. “Not to push or anything, but I hope this house has some extra bedrooms ready for kids whenever you decide you’re ready for them.” He added. 

You chuckled at your dads comment and wiped some tears that fell from your eyes. “Yes, dad, there are plenty of bedrooms for kids. One of the things on our list was it needed to be family friendly. When you see it, you’ll see how perfect it is for a family. But we’re taking it one step at a time and we’ll talk about kids again when we’re ready.” You assured him. He mumbled good and looked over at your mom, who had been silent the entire time. She looked at you when she realized that all eyes were on her. “Mom, are you going to say something to them?” You’re sister chimed in. 

“I didn’t know you guys were really this serious about each other.” She responded. 

“Well after 2 years together I would hope we were serious about being together.” You smirked. 

“I’m sorry for the shit I was giving you earlier, I was just so scared that you were throwing your life away for some guy you were dating. If I had know the depth of it, I wouldn’t have been so harsh. I should’ve listened to you, Y/N. I was just worried about you and worried that he was going to leave you broken and battered. I’m sorry for not giving you more faith, Chris.” She admitted. You and your mom had both stood up and gave each other a long hug. This was the first time in a long time where your mom had been so genuinely happy for you. There was a big family hug, with Chris included. You joked that he was basically a Y/L/N, referring to the joke he had made to you yesterday. 

“Well I do hope that buying a house together means that a wedding is in sight.” Your mom had whispered in your ear. You shot her a look of ‘ I know right?! ‘ and you gave her another hug. Chris winked at you from across the room when you made eye contact. You send him a loving look and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He returned the look and mouthed ‘I love you too’ back. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heat up. 

~

You had gotten ready for bed before Chris had and was all tucked in and ready to sleep by the time he came up to your room. He had stayed downstairs and helped your parents clean up from dinner while you showered and started to unwind. He saw your body on the bed and assumed you had already fallen asleep. You stared at him as he undressed in front of you and admired his amazing body. He caught you staring and shot you a suggestive look as he turned the lights off and went back to get into bed with you.

“We’re not defiling my childhood room by having sex in here. Plus my mom finally came around to our relationship and my dad probably loves you more than I do, so we can’t risk them hearing us.” You whispered as he pressed his body against yours. Your back was pressed against his bare chest and you gripped his forearms as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You turned your head towards him and pressed a kiss onto his lips. He mumbled ‘I love you so much’ between kisses. 

The love that was flowing between your bodies that night was unreal. You spent all night in his arms, exactly where you belonged. 

[hyunsracha]

poetry —  kim seungmin

word count: 2k

summary: why are crushes so difficult?

“why are crushes so difficult?”

this was kim seungmin’s dilemma.

he flops down on his best friend’s bed, glaring at the romance movie posters plastered on the walls.

“what’s so difficult about them, minnie? they’re fun! you get butterflies and blushy and you start trying to write poetry...all that fun stuff?” his best friend, hwang hyunjin, didn’t even look up from his notes to speak.

hyunjin was the sappiest, most love-filled person seungmin knew. he loved romance movies and dating and being in love.

seungmin, on the other hand, had never had a crush before. sure, he’s been attracted to people, but no …. poetic thoughts.

“p-poetry?”

“yeah. do you….oh my god.” hyunjin stood from his desk chair, “do you write poetry about y/n?”

“n-no!”

“KIM SEUNGMIN.” and he pounced. he landed right next to seungmin on the bed, hands coming out to smack at the younger boy as he squealed.

“show it to me, show it to me!!!! i’m your best friend, minnie!”

“WHICH IS WHY IT’S WEIRD GET AWAY FROM ME-”

hyunjin huffed, his bottom lip jutting out.

“fine. but you’re really whipped, you know.”

“yeah. tell me about it.”

“okay! well, for example, today y/n came into the lunchroom and you spilled your milk-”

“HYUNJIN I DIDN’T MEAN- okay.” seungmin sighed, turning to face the boy he ‘unfortunately’ called his best friend, “what do i do?”

“have you ever thought about, i dunno, confessing?”

“eat my shorts.”

hyunjin went back to his desk, returning his attention to his math homework, “then sit and be in love and fucking Perish.”

it wasn’t seungmin’s fault he didn’t wanna confess!!

maybe he would confess if everyone else wasn’t >:(((

he understood that you were like … super pretty and nice and smart and perfect in every way (◕ ◡ ◕)

but it was like someone new confessed to you Every Day

even people from other schools!!!! >:(((

one day, he was leaving the school, and he saw you on the sidewalk with a boy from ur school’s Rival School

and the boy was blushing >:( and he had a flower in his hand >:(

but u rejected him!

just like u rejected Everyone

and he didn’t understand,,,

u could have Anyone U Wanted

whatever! he liked u better single

it meant he still maybe had a chance :(

to be honest, seungmin doesn’t remember when he first starting liking u

maybe it was when you two got paired up in chemistry and you knew Nothing about chemistry

“okay so put in one drop of the clear.”

“w-what’s in the clear?”

“it’s water, y/n.”

“oh!” and you blushed and seungmin’s heart went JFSGJSKH

or maybe it was during hoco when he was just chilling, drinking some punch, chomping on a cookie

and you came up to him :((( all shy :((( and u looked SO GOOD

and you asked him to dance with you

yeah he choked on his cookie a little bit but then that boy was ON THE DANCE FLOOR

surprisingly, seungmin Did know how to dance

being best friends with the co-captain of the dance team since kindergarten has its perks!

u were a lil shocked too like that mf just Took You In His Arms and started swaying and u were like HUH????

when did seungmin become a MAN

he didn’t, he’s just a very sophisticated Boy.

hyunjin thinks seungmin started liking you when you first met

seungmin thinks hyunjin is fucking stupid

he was FIVE and all seungmin cared about when he was 5 was sour gummy worms

“isn’t that all u care about now?”

“sour gummy worms AND Y/N!!!”

so yeah, seungmin was #whipped

AND THE POETRY THING KSJGSKGJ ok hear him out

it was 4am and he had spent like 30 years studying for a chemistry test and he was stressed to the Max and just wanted to lay down

and when he lays down, his mind naturally turns to U

and in his sleep deprived state his mind was just . Mush .

so he dragged his body back to his desk and just ~wrote~

yeah, he couldn’t look you in the eye the next day but he got his feelings out.

he couldn’t help his crush on u, especially when u were in his group of friends

hyunjin, jisung, felix, seungmin, you, and jeongin

sound like chaos? because It Is.

u and seungmin have basically become the parents of this little friend group

“jeongin let me see what u have”

“a knife”

“NO”

and

“How did jisung get on the ceiling.”

“FELIX TOLD ME I COUDL BE SPIDERMAN”

“JISUNG GET THE FUCK DOWN”

of course, being the parents meant a lot of … Teasing

especially from hyunjin, bc he was the only one who knew about seungmin’s crush

hyunjin: so when’s the wedding :D

seungmin, halting his onion slicing: Excuse Me?

you: hehe whenever seungmin’s ready!!  i know he wants to go to law school first!!

seungmin, chopping onions at LIGHTNING SPEED: HAHAHA OKAY Y/N

you always said things like that and it made him JFKDJK

one time the others were teasing him bc he dyed his hair red and they kept calling him cherry and u just went:

“so WHAT if he looks like a cherry he’s my CUTE cherry” and u grabbed his hand and glared at everyone like -__________-

seungmins brain: WHW-WW LIPSTICK

seungmins heart: H UHU H MECEHRY

seungmins mouth: YOU- WHAT - HUH- ME?

and after that :(((( u started calling him cherry :((( even after he dyed his hair again :((

back to the main point: seungmin’s whipped and he doesn’t know how much longer he can take this but he Won’t Confess

hyunjin’s got a plan!

he calls it How Does Y/N Feel and he swears it’s a secret

it’s not, he wrote it on his whiteboard in pretty pastel markers

“what’s this plan of yours, sweetie?”

“MOM CAN U GET OUT IM A SECRET AGENT”

“ok mr secret agent come downstairs and eat your peas”

“MOM”

so basically his plan was to ask if u liked seungmin but hes VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT OK

“hey y/n~~~” he sang as he sat down next to you in geometry.

“jinnie!!! how are you today :D” ugh look at you, an angel.

“good, about to be better...or worse.”

“why?”

“i need to ask you something.”

“Ominous!”

“do you like seungmin?”

“ya.”

hyunjin: OUSUGH?

you: how did u say that out loud

“YOU LIKE SEUNGMIN-”

you slapped a hand over his mouth, “KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT JESUS CHRIST-

i thought you knew i like him??? like...i’m not hiding it?”

hyunjin knew seungmin wouldn’t believe it if he just told him

so he was audio recording the whole thing on his phone :) what a sneaky dude

so after geometry ended he fuckign NYOOOMED to english

“SEUNGMIN SEUNGMIN SEUNGMING HSJG SJISEUGMGING”

“dude did u do crack or something holy shit-”

“SHUT UP LISTEN TO THIS.”

“if this is another one of your boyfriend’s songs i swear to god-”

but he put in hyunjin’s earbuds (not airpods) anyway

“t-this isn’t jisung….”

and he Listened

I Thought You Knew I Like Him.

“are u fucking with me jin. is this a fucking skit i swear to god if you're MESSING WITH ME-”

“they don’t even know i was recording them.” hyunjin giggled, the snake.

“oh so you’re a total douche.”

“i just did you the hugest favor and you just called me a douche...okay! friendship cancelled, give me my phone, put your stupid airpods back in-”

“don’t call them Stupid!”

“sorry, i can’t hear you, i don’t have my STUPID AIRPODS IN!”

seungmin couldn’t concentrate for the entirety of english

your words kept swirling around his brain, and he resorted to just doodling hearts on the margins of his papers.

and then he went to Chemistry!

there you were :((( in your cute little lab coat and safety goggles :(((

seungmin didn’t think anyone would ever pull off a lab coat and goggles like you did

“h-hey y/n…”

“hey cherry! ready to make some chemistry? :D”

he inhaled, knowing that there was a chance he was going to regret his next statement for the rest of his life:

“i think you and i already have enough chemistry.”

now it was ur turn to JKSGJKH

you flushed a bright pink, turning to your lab table to hide the shy smile growing on your face

“yeah?” your voiced cracked a little bit

and seungmin knew

“yeah.”

class went by quickly, with the two of you exchanging Looks before quickly looking away

and then you had lunch! and since you ate lunch together, you walked together

this time, You wanted to be the daring one

so you were walking through the halls side by side

and after a minute you just …. Held His Hand a little bit

and he squeezed your hand in return and your tummy felt like JAOGHNJ

then you entered the cafeteria and your friends’ eyes immediately went ZOOM on your interlocked hands

“W-W-W-WHAT IS THIS?” jeongin, the poor baby, spluttered

“are you out of the loop? they’re in love!” jisung was practically shooting heart eyes at the two of you

“no one tells me anything.” jeongin pouted

“are we Not In Love, jisung.”

“jinnie u know i love you but this is FRESH and it’s FUN let me ogle.”

“JISUGN???”

felix just smiled at you two, patting the space next to him, “i always knew this was gonna happen.”

“what are you losers talking about?” seungmin asked.

“yeah, nothing happened. seungmin and i are just friends.”

“you- just- HUH????”

“he hasn’t asked me out yet.” you shrugged, pulling your lunch box out of your backpack.

seungmin gasped, dropping your hand to cover his heart, “do i have to?”

“i deserve it, you animal. i’ve only been waiting since middle school.”

MIDDLE SCHOOL???

well, this was a shock.

“MIDDLE SCHOOL???”

“yeah? you kicked that dude in the shin for me. it was nice. no one’s ever done that for me before.”

“t-the shins? you started liking him over a shin kick, y/n?” felix deadpanned.

“i was like 13 can you shut the fuck up? i don’t just like him because he kicked a guy in the shins for me.”

“oh? why else do you like him?”

“we’re not having this conversation right now, jeongin.”

“oh hell yes we are.”

“SEUNGMIN??”

but he just :D at you and you were whipped so :///

“Okay! i like him because he’s...just a good guy. like he’s smart and he’s funny and he’s….really cute and he would probably kick jisung in the shin if i asked him to.”

“i would.”

“bet!”

“okay!”

“hey what no- OW SEUNGMIN!” jisung whined, pulling his leg up on the seat

“kiss it better jinnie-”

“jisung no.”

“JINNIE :((((“

you grinned, looking over at seungmin.

he was already looking, and you could practically See the heart eyes he was sending you.

did it make you super flustered? yeah. did you mind? not really.

“so,” you leaned in closer, speaking quiet enough so that your friends couldn’t hear over whatever they were yelling about this time, “you gonna ask me out or not?”

“i’ll walk you home?”

“i’ll be waiting.”

the rest of the day went by Painfully slow

but after your last class, there he was !!!!

and he was walking you home !!!

and he held your hand !!!!

“let me get something from my house real quick.” seungmin lived closer to the school than you did, so you always passed by his house.

you waited on the porch while he ran outside

he came back in a minute, flushed and holding a folded piece of paper.

“here.” he shoved the paper in your hand, taking your free hand in his and dragging you along.

“MINNIE let me read this!!!!” you whined.

he sighed, stopping on the sidewalk to let you read it clearly.

you had to reread a few lines because they were just so pretty.

you didn’t expect something like this from seungmin, he was usually so direct and not so flowery.

but it was beautiful.

“why are you crying WHAT’S WRONG IS IT BAD-”

“SEUNGMIN HHHHHHH” you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist.

and he held you just back as tightly.

“so uh. do you wanna like….go out with me or something?”

“yes, you big dummy. i would love to.”

[monohart]

clouds. (college!au)

ft. mark lee, sunny days and the brink of adolescence.

dating the campus’ radio dj was not an easy job

he was always, always busy, especially in the evenings.

he was exempted from 2/3 of his classes this semester to fit in broadcasting sessions and also to mentor the new broadcasters.

apparently they recruited a freshman, jisung. but he was a shy little bean, and mark needed to spend a lot more hours mentoring him.

which kinda meant that you would spend less time with your boyfriend

thankfully, y’all had similar classes.

there was this one class which was a capstone subject

which meant if u want to graduate u HAD to take it lol

and he aced all of the assessments in that subject so far this year

but you were just a bit competitive, so with exams coming, you planned to score a higher grade than him

which.. was an easy job, right? he spent most of his nights hosting the radio show anyway.

it both bugged and made you so extremely proud that mark was already getting proper job offers from major broadcasting channels

like when he got his first offer, he actually just finished a broadcast at around 3am, and was on the way back home

but he read the email on his phone and took a detour to your apartment

which scared the sh*t out of you

mark its almost 4am you could’ve just sent me a text??

“i don’t care i just needed to tell you this in person, oh my goodness is this even real????”

idk mark you tell me???

it was real, because he started getting offer after offer in the following week

but thankfully he didn’t pop by your place in the middle of the night again, after that first time

because you actually let him stay over that night and -

he held you in his arms as he leant against your headboard

and you just used him as a pillow because he you made him take a quick shower and he smelt of your soap but he still smelled of him and it was a comforting scent which sent you off the dreamland real quick

and he actually watched you fall asleep and made sure you were asleep before he pulled out his laptop to work on an assignment that was due the next day

when you woke up the next morning, you felt something cold and hard prod your back and you panicked for a moment before realising it was his laptop

and you heard the shower running so you knew it was mark going through his morning routine

but then you thought.... did he even sleep?

when he hopped out of the bathroom clad in same the clothes he wore the night before, he was still drying his hair with a towel

and his face was strew with exhaustion

but as soon as he saw you sitting groggily on the edge of your bed, his face lit up and he strode over to kiss the top of your head

“mark, did you even sleep?”

“nope, but i’m off again, i’ve got to hand in my assignment! i’ll see you for lunch?”

“wait what assignment?? did you need help on it?”

“nope, i got it done last night! thanks for letting me crash.”

before you could stop him, he pressed a hasty kiss on your lips before grabbing his laptop and bag and rushed out the door

and you sigh because

this was how dating mark lee, the campus dj, was like.

anyway

now, you guys were just a few days away from finishing the semester’s classes

and this was your last semester... given if you’ll pass the exams lol

so it was kinda the last few days you’d be able to spend together, on campus.

summer was coming

and the sun was so bright these days, it cleared the skies

no rain, none at all

which was not entirely Great because rainy days helped you study... and rainy days also meant more people tuned in on the campus radio

which meant

mark was kinda jobless today

which ALSO meant!!!

you could finally spend a whole day with him.

but, oh man...

when he called you around 11pm the night before, he was also checking his email and ... accidentally forgot that he had another assignment due at 8am the following morning

guess who didn’t get any sleep at all again!!!

your heart hurt seeing him work so hard

but somehow he convinced you to go to sleep first and not stay up to help him

he still got the assignment in on time because hes mark lee

so when you guys sat on the lawn in the middle of campus just like any typical college couple would on a nice sunny day, mark lay his head on your lap and used one of your textbooks to shield his eyes from the sun

and you were using his laptop to compile your notes from the semester, and also to help him tidy up his

“hey baby...?”

“hmm?”

you waited for mark to continue his sentence but he went silent

“mark, what?”

“mark-”

you lifted your textbook from his face only to find that he had fallen asleep.

his lips were slightly parted and he was snoring really quietly, and his fingers were in loose fists as they rested on his belly.

dont deny but you busted the biggest uwu didnt you

ofc like

you couldn’t possibly waste this precious photo opportunity but

your phone was just slightly out of reach rip

so when you grappled for it, mark woke up in an instant

he sat up real quick, and a tuft of his hair was sticking up messily.

“oh no, i didnt mean to-”

“so d’you wonder why we’re all clouds?”

you stared at each other with equally as confused frowns lol

like mark was actually

hella confused

but your expression literally read wtf

he didn’t really notice but instead yawned and held his arm out to you

and you move closer to him, snuggling into his side as he slowly lays the both of you down again, in a way so you could use his arm as a pillow.

the sun was really really bright so y’all lay there with your eyes squished shut

“we’re all just clouds, aren’t we?”

his serious question was met by your quiet scoff

“no, no, i’m for real. y’know how everything we do are for exams. exams this, assignments that... gpa... scores.. grades... deadlines... those kinda things. they turn us into clouds.”

“that is one extremely weird way to describe college students, mark.”

“no, baby, but... it’s accurate, isn’t it? the anxiety, stress, exhaustion... and just about everything we do turn us all into little clouds.”

“do elaborate, cause i don’t get why you’re comparing us to condensed water vapour.”

mark chuckled a little, and you roll your eyes figuratively, keeping your eyes tightly shut to shield it from the unforgiving sun.

"actually, never mind, it sounded way better in my head.”

at that point you were getting up to lie on your side

he turned his head and squinted at you as you gently placed a hand on his chest

"are you writing lyrics again?”

he hummed quietly and you shift a few inches closer to him.

“show me. i want to read those lyrics, no matter how dumb you think they are.”

“they’re not ready yet.”

“if you’re writing about anxiety, i can be your muse.”

“no way, you’re not a cloud. you’re a sunflower.”

he wrote lyrics all the time and most of the time he’d write them about you

sometimes he’d let you read them, sometimes he kept them to himself

and you’d catch him grinning idiotically over some lyric he wrote some time ago

so when he goes to sleep you would sneak a peak at it and it’s basically a love letter to first-date-you, or a diary entry of how he feels every time he sends u home from a date or from school but its so dreamy and seems unreal but you kNOW ITS REAL!!

bc u were there!!

anyway 

idk what came over you but you slung an arm around his torso and rested your head against his shoulder and he let out a quiet little puff of breath

you would think he’s pretty ok with skinship since y’all been together for so long

but yeah it was chill and okay and he’d be super clingy at home but when y’all were in public

man,,, he got so flustered and nervous

u just wanted to cuddle lol but he suddenly turned into a robot

the sun made everything seem slow and warm and sluggish which was pretty okay with you because you were finally spending time with mark!!!

and he was soft and squishy and a little bit awkward but so so so cute so u rly just wanted the moment to last longer

but no

just as u were about to drift off a Shadow™ loomed over u both

mark probably fell asleep again tbh

u heard a rly loud camera go CLICK and distinct voices whisper-yelling at each other

and there was a struggle

and the struggle ended with a Butt falling onto mark’s other shoulder

“MARK IM SO SORRY RENJUN PUSHED ME”

“NO YOU STINK YOU FELL BY YOURSELF”

“oh hey guys shut up the photo turned out alright”

“JENO SHUT UP THEY’RE RIGHT THERE”

mark was sitting up and you fussed over his other shoulder which was attacked by jaemin’s butt

and although he was so .. unfortunately.. woken up from his nap he was grinning and squinting up at his squabbling friends

and he chuckled as he watched u stand up and wrestle jeno for his phone to see the Photo

he was watching you chase chenle and renjun around the lawn, the two boys purposefully running slower to tease u

donghyuck sat down next to mark and put his head on his shoulder to mimic you from a few minutes ago

“oh you’re disgusting please go away.”

hyuck turned his head and batted his eyelashes up at mark who was still watching u with a dreamy smile

“you’re leaving soon, we just wanted to spend time with you before u abandon us”

mark laughed and told him he’s only graduating

but hyuck scowled and nudged mark with his elbow then gestured in your direction

“but you spend more time with her nowadays than you do with us”

mark let out a loud laugh and shook his head

“she’s my girlfriend.”

“so?”

“she’s my lover.”

“so??”

“she’s... everything to me.”

jisung, who was listening, gagged and haechan slapped mark’s tummy while hollering

and then u look over at them from the other side of the lawn, wondering why mark was lying on the floor again and why the other dreamies were surrounding him in a cultish circle

jeno and jaemin turned to face you with big chummy smiles on their faces and together they made heart arms at u

some other people on the lawn were beginning to stare and so u hide behind chenle bc renjun is too tiny

then jisung must’ve texted their group chat because renjun cackles and leads you back to the group

and u notice how bright mark’s face was which makes u blush like crazy as well

and even though stress from school, work and everything in general, was making u feel like a big and heavy raincloud

one look at mark lee made u feel like sunflowers and daisies

it totally didn’t help that when he’d look at you, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his eyes would shine with genuine adoration

and his cute little lips would stretch into the widest grin

uwu

and u bet the next batch of lyrics he gonna write is gonna be about you again!!

[legobatjoker]

HAII SO UMM its nearly 4am DFGHDFHDF and i told myself that i wouldnt stay up insanely late just bc i have to school tmrw DFGDFHDF anyway really facking late like i said nd also feeling really rly tired so um going to bed now lol so this may be a bit short but i do just really do wat to say that !!! i really do just love you so so very much like you really are just such a wonderful amazing kind fried like you really are just soos sweet and kind and understanding and thoughtful and caring to me and that really does just mean the world to me love i hope you know like. you really are just such a wonderful amazing comforting presence in my life like ik youre always here for me and just make me feel soso loved and cared for and safe with you and just bring me soso much joy and light and happiness and light dearest just knowing you and talking with you and spending time with you love like just !!!! you really are such a wonderful part of my life and i hope you know you really do just mean everything to me !! :'> i hope your days been good and that you sleep well, ilusm <3 💕💖🥭🍊🌷🌻🌼🌺✨

OEUGRHRH THE TELLING URSELF U WONT STAY UP LATE THEN IT HAPPENING ANYWAY IS SOOO REALLLL i hope u can at least get a lottt of sleep tho dearest !!! and yea i really do love youuu soooosoosoo much tooooo you are veryvery wonderful and amazing and a v kind lovely friend to me as welllll and amazing presecnce in my life and im soo very glad i can be the same to youu;;;;!!! i truly do love youuu smmmm and hope u have sucha goodnighttt ilysmmmmmmmmmm 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[jungblue]

UGGHHH why did the oc have to be so stupid and let JIMIN retrieve the notebook for herrrrr!!!! She should've remembered that that's the wrong one!!!! Ugh it's making me so emo but I understand that it was for the best....😭😭😭😭😭😭

lolol like don’t get me wrong i’m glad that jimin found out bc he totally deserved to know that his girlfriend was a lying cheater… but like bro if you’re gonna cheat don’t allow your boyfriend to hold the notebook full of poems written by the person you’re cheating on them with. like maybe that wasn’t a smart move on your part lmao. but honestly when she was just like oh i can grab the right notebook before he gets to the really incriminating bits!!!! i was like bitch you’re fucking dumb!!!!! lol

Anonymous said: The cheating fic took a piece of my soul I finished it in one sitting. But tbh Sohee at the end got A LITTLE TOO CRAZY like I had the innate urge to slap her. Some part of me hoped the reader would end up with JK, but alas I.T was not so. Also, she pined for jimin at the very end, which was contradictory to the whole ending of “loving yourself first”. BUT ANYWAYS STILL BALLED MY EYES OUT AT 5 AM

no same when that happened with sohee i was like… alright?? get trapped in a loveless relationship??? go off i guess??? like i know why she did what she did but i also don’t understand why she would wanna be with someone that doesn’t wanna be with her. and i think that the thing with jimin at the end happened more so bc she’s lonely, not bc she doesn’t love herself. like you can love yourself but feel the effects of loneliness. like it’s been 4 years since that whole incident and in a single instant she lost her best friend, her boyfriend of 2 years and the guy she was in love with. like that’s gotta be hard on the soul lol. i mean not that she didn’t bring that upon herself, but still i get why she was feeling lonely at the end lol

Anonymous said: TAY i just finished reading Right of Way and i jUST— i feel exactly the same like you, like this fic wrecked me up that much?????? I couldnt even cry bcs i was so mad that the OC ended up alone?? I know it was fucking wrong but i lowkey hoped that Jungkook and the OC would end up together… i just felt theyre perfectly fit…. Anyway the last time i felt like this was when i read a fanfic called “Vow”, its also a cheating!au, im wondering if u ever read it…

no same it’s like i know that i shouldn’t like them together but i’m also like i get ittttt and i don’t wanna get it bc then i’m sort of justifying their terrible behavior. but no i haven’t read vow. who’s it by?

Anonymous said: i just finished the cheating fic (its almost 4am here sigh) and i agree with you about the whole feeling sorry for them even after they did such horrible things and all that but. uh sohee’s pregnancy trap made me pissed. like, jk deserves some obvious shit thrown his way but. i feel bad for the baby ?? that whole plan of hers just put me off so much. i d k

yeah exactly i was like alright jungkook deserves some sort of revenge but i honestly just hate the pregnancy trap trope. it annoys me to a very high degree. honestly that’s the only part of the story that i could’ve done without. though it definitely happens in real like so i can’t be too upset about it

Anonymous said:i just finished reading ROW becof you. And I just really really loved it! Yes, I want me(yup I was imagining myself as the OC who doesnt) to have a happy ending, but realistically, not with jimin and jungkook. I hurt them too much and FCK THERE ARE TIMES THAT I WANT TO STRANGLE MYSELF FOR CHEATING BEC HOW CAN A HUMAN CHEAT ON JIMIN THE ANGEL?I just love how realistic everything was. I didn’t want it to end. I need more fics like this. ROW also is the 1st fic I read in Ao3. Suggest me more :(

ON TOP OF THAT, I was listening to The Truth Untold on loop the entire time I was reading it and when I broke things off with JK, his part on TTU where he sang “but I still want you” fucking ripped me off.. Also jimin’s “I still want you” in the killed me too what a fucking roller coaster

yeah it was very realistic which was why the ending hurt so much :(( but i have a lot of ao3 recs but they’re mostly m/m. row was actually the first reader insert fic i’ve ever read on ao3, so if you want more of those i unfortunately can’t be of much help ;;;;  and jxnsajdnl why would you do that to yourself lol. that fic is too sad to pair with that song 

Anonymous said: Fksnofkn I just read Right of Way and feel as if my heart was ripped out of my chest and then punched repeatedly. What makes it even worse is that we all know this is how Jimin was feeling when he discovered the truth :( idk I’ve been an angst binge lately and so, this was a wonderful recommendation! If you’ve recovered lol (bc I sure haven’t) or want to read something else similar to Right of Way (I enjoy piling on the angst sometimes lmao) I just finished Comfort Inn by joonbird and recommend!

i know i had a lot of emotional turmoil afterwards i was just like why??? do i feel so numb??? and thank you for the rec!

Anonymous said: Babe I binged read the entire ROW and I’m now in bed sobbing oh god everyone is hurting and good god so am I HAHAHA the ending was so realistic and I think that’s why it was so painful WHAT A RIDE

like i say i love angst and i honestly do but i like angst where the journey is hurtful but the ending is nice jxjsdalnjs lol