#anyway if i see one more absolutely garbage take i think i'm just going to start posting a weekly fact check with citations

[utilitycaster]

I've definitely said this before but I'll say it again: the argument for killing the Exandrian pantheon because the status quo must change is absolutely nonsensical and shows a profound lack of imagination and understanding of both past and currently relevant lore.

There are aliens from the moon who have arrived on the planet. Magic might be fundamentally changed, permanently. Geopolitics will be drastically different, particularly on the continent of Wildemount where the absence of Ludinus Da'leth has led to the dissolution of the Cerberus Assembly; in the long term this might open up a potential for actual lasting peace talks between the Empire and the Dynasty and a reduction in both powers' isolationist tendencies, particularly since the Empire's seizing of archaeological sites will probably end. The widespread reveal of the nature of Predathos, the two gods killed by Predathos, confirmation on the story of the creation of Ruidus, and the information from the Thalamus would have world-shattering effects on Exandria's understanding of history and the divine. The Exandrian Accord will almost certainly foster countless new international relationships and alliances. The reveal that Ludinus was responsible for Molaesmyr will also be massive and could lead to any number of dramatic changes in the political, arcane, and literal landscape in the region of the Savalirwood. The portal to the moon in Ria'Doin may transform an otherwise isolated region of Issylra. If Predathos and/or the Weave Mind are defeated, destroyed, or banished, it will upend Ruidian society entirely.

Any single item above would be significant. Several have already occurred. Exandria will be forever changed even if the campaign were to end next week with the party killing Ludinus and destroying Predathos in a poorly-done Rocks Fall BBEGs Die scenario. We've checked off "change the status quo"; that is no longer a valid Doylist argument for killing the gods and never was much of a Watsonian one, and can now be entirely disregarded.

[morose-melodies]

DROP MORE PREGNANT READER AND MY LIFE IF YOURS🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

ups and downs | various! yandere! fatui harbingers x pregnant reader

a/n: gimme your life :3

CAPITANO

you were not happy, the captain could tell.

whenever he'd bring light to your sad expression, you'd just sulk, and walk off, dragging your feet.

perhaps this pregnancy was getting to you more than he knew.

to see you so sad, to see you so sluggish, he knew you weren't feeling well.

so he started coddling you. he'd do everything for you, or, almost everything anyway. he would help you get dressed in the morning, he would braid your hair down for you to keep it out of your face, he'd hold your hand and walk you through the snowy garden with him.

things seemed to be looking up for you.

"it's getting colder shall we go back in?" the captain asked, pausing to look at you, waiting for an answer.

"I'm not ready..."

"very well," he would remove his coat and place it over your shoulders, "if it pleases you, we can continue our walk."

"thank you."

"of course. I'd do anything for you, (y/n)."

sure, he was getting tired of roaming the garden, but holding your hand and being near you, seeing you enjoy yourself, made it worth his while.

DOTTORE

dottore had it with you.

not literally, but goodness, you were wearing him out. if you weren't complaining about one thing, it was something else.

you were sitting in front of the fireplace complaining about how hot it was. so, of course, dottre had to help you find a better seat, or else you'd get upset with him.

and now, you were complaining about the fruit salad you were eating.

looking across the table at you, dottore picked at his salad. it was meant to be a small meal until dinner and here you were complaining about it.

"(y/n), if it's not to your liking, then don't eat it. nobody here is forcing you to eat it," dottore formed a smile on his face, it was small and tense but if he didn't smile at you, he knew you'd think he was being 'rude'.

"yeah, but I'm hungry... I don't think fruit salad should be so... mushy."

dottore swallowed, poking at his salad - it wasn't mushy at all. pulling your bowl away, he slid his own to you, "eat it, (y/n), please - there is absolutely nothing wrong with mine."

dottore then ate your fruit salad - it didn't matter to him how it tasted, as long as you were satisfied and eating, he didn't mind how rotten the salad tasted.

though, he would be firing the chief for even daring to serve this garbage to you.

PANTALONE

"look at this dress, oh, it looks absolutely lovely on you," pantalone turned you to face the mirror, his hand hovering over your round belly before he dropped it to his side.

catching a glance at your face, pantalone saw that you were frowning deeply. "(y/n)... what's the matter?"

"I'm tired," you replied, looking at him through the mirror.

right, pantalone had forgotten, you've been quite sluggish these past few months. it was inconsiderate of him to make you stand and try on multiple dresses just for his satisfaction.

it was truly inconsiderate of him.

"oh, it completely slipped my mind," pantalone was quick to turn you to face him, his hands on your shoulder, "forgive me, won't you? here, let me help you out of this..."

"it's fine..." you mumbled, as he began tugging the dress from over your head. removing the dress, he helped you back into your old clothes.

"a nap would be nice, no?" taking your hand into his, he guided you into his bedroom where the two of you would lie down for a nap.

he could tell you were tired.

gosh, he was so very considerate.

CHILDE

when childe worked, he had a new goal in mind.

providing for you, of course. he was going to be a father; he needed to prove that he was worth it, and he needed to prove just how good of a father he'd be.

he had never felt quite so motivated before. he had never felt so motivated to be good and stay out of trouble.

love really changes people, huh?

after finishing his work, he'd come home with a grin on his face. it didn't feel real, at all.

he was with you and you were going to have a child with him!

"(y/n), where are you? I'm home! I brought dinner," childe called out as he stepped through the front door.

the fireplace was on, the lights were off and the bedroom door was cracked open. huh, guess you were sleeping.

so childe crept down the hallway and into his bedroom where you were sleeping.

how pretty you were...

he sat down beside him, looking at you and your peaceful features. he grinned, how much better could his life get?

he idly messed with the hairs on your head, petting and twirling them around his finger. he sat there and did that for a while, that was until you woke up.

you swatted his hand away, scowling at him.

childe smiled down at you, "let's go shopping for baby clothes. that would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"sure..."

"great! now let's go eat, (y/n), I brought dinner home for us."

eating dinner with you would be a nice change of pace but, of course, anything done with you would be nice.

[topazadine]

Extremely controversial writing opinions that will make you mad (but I'm going to say them anyway)

I don't know why but I am in the mood to be pilloried. Before I start, I will show you a picture of my dog so you realize I'm not a heartless monster.

Anyway, obviously this is just my opinion and you are perfectly free to disagree.

None of this is some hard-and-fast rule or even a universal truth.

It is just my opinion as someone who has 15 years of experience, has written about 2 million words, has an English degree, tutored dozens of students, etc etc etc.

Even if it seems like I am universalizing, I am not. Take what you like and leave the rest. Ignore it all if you want. That's your right.

Here we go. Please, don't throw your tomatoes until the end of the post. It distracts me.

Your first book probably sucks (with caveats).

Ideas are pointless if you don't do anything with them.

You are not a writer unless you consistently write.

Making moodboards, playlists, etc, before you have started the project is a form of procrastination.

No one cares about your idea as much as you do and never will.

Most people in your life will not care about your book.

A lot of peoples' opinions about writing are useless to you.

You need to develop healthy self-esteem if you want to be a good writer.

You also need to be humble and have a beginner's mindset forever.

Being mentally ill doesn't make you a better writer. It just means you're mentally ill.

Your real actual life matters more than your writing.

You will burn out if you don't have other hobbies.

Okay, okay, let's make you hate me.

Your first book probably sucks (with caveats).

If this is your first ever long project in writing, it is likely not going to be publishable (or, perhaps, even readable). It takes years, sometimes decades, to learn how to write well.

Do not think that because you have one singular idea and have slapped a book together that you can publish it to widespread acclaim. People who do this are deeply overestimating the quality of their work, seeing it through rose-tinted glasses.

One of my first long-form writing projects as sort of an adult was utter garbage. You can read it if you want; it's a BBC Sherlock fanfic. And it's fucking awful. I had written a lot of smaller things before this, but nothing to this scale. That much is quite obvious.

I'm grateful I started my journey writing fanfic, because otherwise I would have thought this was brilliant life-changing stuff.

In fact, I actually put together a copy of all my Sherlock fanfics called 11 Ways of Playing a Stradivarius that is probably floating around somewhere on the internet (though it got smacked down for copyright infringement eventually, because I was stupid). It sold absolutely zero copies, and rightly so. It's bad.

And that is okay. Shitty writing is par for the course when you are learning. It doesn't mean you'll never be good. It just means you're not there yet.

I have, to my great relief, improved immeasurably over the years, to the point where I have felt confident selling my work for real human money. You can purchase the culmination of that hard work right this instant, if you so choose. Should you do so, I am certain you will see exactly how much I've grown as a writer.

Ideas are pointless if you don't do anything with them.

I know I have said this before but I just need to drill it into your heads. Your idea means nothing unless you actually write the damn thing.

Millions of people have story ideas. Most of them will never do anything with those ideas. At best, they'll daydream about it but make up a billion excuses why they can't. At second-worst, they will badger actual writers to do the idea for them.

At worst worst, they will use AI to do it for them and call it a day. And we will all hate them for it.

You do not need to be protective of your idea or hide it, because someone has already thought of it and then made excuses as to why they can't be bothered to execute it. You have to be the one who doesn't fall into the trap and does the damn thing.

Look, I'll give you all the story ideas I have if you want. I don't care. In fact, I share them frequently and encourage others to give it a shot if they want to.

I'm not hiding any ideas because I know you will not do it exactly as I will. My voice is unique and it doesn't matter if there are dozens of people with the same idea: my story will be mine, and no one else's.

You are not a writer unless you consistently write.

This doesn't mean writing for five hours every day, or even doing 100 words every day. When I get to the tail end of the project, I tend to start slowing down because I have to think more critically about how to tie everything together. During the active drafting phase, I might do 2,000 words per day, but things ease up at the end, both because I'm sad that this phase is almost over and because I don't have much left to do.

But you don't get to call yourself a writer if you write like 100 words a month and spend the rest of the time doing moodboards and talking about your ideas. Whatever your rhythm, you need to stick with it and develop discipline, or you just have an idea and nothing else.

Making moodboards, playlists, etc, before you have started the project is a form of procrastination.

Note I said before you have really gotten into the meat of your project. Moodboards are a great way to promo your project and get peoples' attention, because visuals are more interesting than a wall of text. (That's why I start these kinds of posts with a picture.)

Oh, there's another one!

The thing is that a lot of would-be writers get trapped by the "oh this is research, this is plotting, this is giving me ideas, this is inspo." It's not. It's visual daydreaming and nothing more.

Any time that I have done a moodboard before starting a story, I give up on that story, because then I feel like I've done most of the work when I categorically have not. When I do moodboards once I get to the halfway point, I'm already in the home stretch and have no reason to stop. When I do a moodboard after I am already done and in the revision stage, then I'm good to go and building hype for my project.

Do not waste your time doing moodboards and playlists and visuals before you do the real stuff: worldbuilding, plotting, hammering out characterization. Get started before you start playing around with pretty pictures because it's not really getting you anywhere.

No one cares about your idea as much as you do and never will.

This is pretty self-explanatory so I won't expound too much. Your writing is the most important thing to you, but everyone else has their own stuff going on. If you're building hype with other writers, they have their own projects and are not going to be your free promotional team. They want your attention for their stuff, not yours.

Most people in your life will not really care about your book.

Again, everyone's got their own things going on. Also, most non-writers don't really understand how difficult it is to write a whole book. They are consumers and see the finished project; it's content to them. They care about you, to be sure, but your book doesn't really click as a big accomplishment because they're not familiar with the process.

You may notice, and seethe slightly, that relatively mundane things like weddings, graduations, and baby announcements will get WAY more attention than your book. A friend showing their ultrasound pic will get dozens of likes and comments and congratulations, while like 1 person will say "good job!" when you announce your book.

This is because these kinds of announcements are more relatable to the average person. They may have gotten married, or graduated, or had a baby (and of course probably know dozens of people who have) so they are aware of the challenges and joys.

Unless you are friends with exclusively other writers, your achievement is abstract, and your friends can't really sympathize. Your book is just a way to pass some time.

A lot of peoples' opinions about writing are useless to you.

I do not really like getting beta readers from places like r/betareaders because I have no idea how much that person actually knows about writing. Being able to visualize and suggest ways forward requires an understanding of the craft, but many people think that because they like to read, they know how to critique, when they are completely different skills.

Yes, unknowledgeable beta readers can give you a "man on the street" perspective of your book, but they tend to forget that beta readers are meant to help you fix your book as it is. Not turn it into something they personally would enjoy reading if they are not the target audience.

This requires recognizing audience and putting aside one's own preferences to focus on how the book would come across to an imagined ideal reader. Not everyone can do this. Actually, most people can't.

Some of the dumbest comments I've gotten about my work are from people who want to wrest control away from me and make it their preferred genre/plot/etc. These are useless suggestions.

Wonderful beta readers help to enhance your story, and they are golden. Instead of demanding you do something different, they offer their honest reactions of the work as it is and suggest opportunities to enrich the writing, tweak it, deepen the characterization, and so on.

Helpful beta readers are typically other writers regardless of their specific writing level. Newbie writers can be an excellent resource! And you're helping them, too: they will see your mistakes and know what not to do, and they can learn from your strengths. It's a positive experience all around.

Writers must come to understand what is good advice and what is not. Essentially, anyone who suggests things that are completely out of left field and totally unrelated to what you're trying to do is giving bad advice, and you should ignore them.

You need to develop healthy self-esteem if you want to be a good writer.

When you constantly put yourself down, complain about how bad your first draft is, say you have no idea what you're doing, and insist that no one will ever enjoy your work, guess what: you're right.

But you're right because you're essentially telling other people that your work sucks and they should not give it a chance. What you say about your writing will influence how readers interact with your work. You are priming them to dislike your writing and telling them what to think.

Imposter syndrome strikes all of us at times, but you need to push through it. One of the best ways to do so is to just continue writing. Keep going. Soon enough, you will develop experience, and experience will create confidence, and that confidence will shine through in your work.

When you consider saying something self-deprecating about your work, stop. You're going to make it come true.

You also need to be humble and have a beginner's mindset forever.

Doing so means understanding the difference between being self-deprecating and being humble.

Self-deprecation is when someone says your work is great and you immediately go "oh you're saying that to be nice, it's awful, I hate it."

Humility is when someone says your work is great and you go "Thank you!" and leave it at that.

You're not gloating or bragging by saying thank you, but you're also not cutting yourself off at the knees and making people uncomfortable by self-flagellating.

Honestly, the best thing you can ever say when you get a compliment about anything, including your writing, is just "thank you." Nothing else. Maybe an "I appreciate it" or "I'm glad you think so!" You don't need to go into detail.

But humility also means acknowledging that no matter how long you have been writing, there is always something you can do better. You will always be learning and making mistakes. Thinking you've peaked is when your writing gets stale and boring.

I have been learning rock climbing, and one of my favorite things to do is to watch pro climbers critique their own technique. They're not self-deprecating or saying they're horrible, but they're also not claiming they are perfect and can never do anything better.

Magnus Midtbø is incredible because even though he is a truly masterful climber, he posts a lot about his fails or when other climbers make him eat shit. This is an amazing video of him getting wrecked by an Olympic climber and taking it on the chin! He doesn't whine about how bad he is, he's just like "hmm, yeah, I can see where I screwed up, I'm so glad that I got to watch you climb, this is an honor."

That is the perfect blend of confidence and humility. He knows he can improve, but he doesn't deride his own skill. This is the mindset you need as a writer.

Being mentally ill doesn't make you a better writer. It just means you're mentally ill.

Anyone can be a good writer. Mental illness does not give you a super-secret advantage. It actually puts you at a disadvantage because your brain is expending so much energy staying stable that it does not have the same capacity as other people.

Fix your mental health issues instead of using them as a crutch or deluding yourself into believing they make you special. Like half of the population will develop some type of mental illness during their lifetime, and insisting that you need your mental illness to write is trapping you by making you not want to get help.

I have severe bipolar. This does not necessarily make me a great writer. In fact, it can make my writing suck ass if I am not stable. And no, you are not somehow exempt from having consequences for refusing to take care of your mental health. I promise you that you will be a better writer when you have sorted out your mental health issues.

Your real actual life matters more than your writing.

This is related to the above point. Your mental health, your stability, your social circle are all crucial elements of being a good, productive writer, and you can't ignore them in favor of suffering for your art.

The quality of my work has skyrocketed at two significant points in my life: once when I got out of a relationship that was hurting me and once when I ditched a toxic friend. The first one was when I started writing fanfic again, and the second was when I finally began The Eirenic Verses.

I would not have written 2 million words if I still had those nasty influences in my life, and I would not be living my best life. I likely never would have found my favorite hobbies and started going to therapy if I was still trapped in those negative cycles. Attending to my real-life problems both enhanced my writing and made me a better, more likeable, more functional person. I expect you will find the same thing.

You will burn out if you don't have other hobbies.

Hobbies. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have other hobbies that have nothing to do with writing. Yes, it means you have less time to write, but it also means that when you do sit down and write, you have better focus because you've fulfilled your other needs.

I picked up horseback riding again in February of this year and go once a week. I can't stress enough how good this has been for my writing and for my overall well-being. I have pretty bad agoraphobia, but since I started riding again, I have been less scared of leaving the house and less worried about what people think about me. My world has become larger and friendlier.

Now I'm doing rock climbing too. The physical and mental stimulation helps me focus better when I write, and I get way more done in less time. Plus, the quality of that writing is better because I'm getting more bloodflow into my brain and nourishing the tissues. There's also the fact that when I do have time to write, I'm not burned out and frustrated because all I've been doing all day is writing.

I look forward to my writing sessions more because they feel like a treat, and I have gotten a self-esteem boost by doing well in the gym. I am happier, calmer, and sleeping better due to the exercise.

Well-adjusted humans need social outlets, physical movement, a strong support network, good nutrition, and opportunities to relax. Our horrible capitalist system makes it very hard to balance all of these, but you must at least try.

Your hobbies don't need to be expensive. It can be something as simple as drawing, or going for a long nature walk, or learning origami, or buying a used camera and learning photography. Go to your local library and take a free course! Join a cheap gym and go a few times a week. Teach yourself something using YouTube. Buy secondhand equipment on Craigslist. There are so many affordable options.

Again, caring for your overall well-being is a true godsend when it comes to writing. Having something else to fulfill you will help you push through those hard days when nothing is coming to you, and it offers your brain a break from plotting, writing, revising, etc.

So that's it. If you read this to the very end, you're quite the gem; I know this was excruciatingly long. And mean.

Since you're here, maybe you will consider purchasing my debut novel, which was written by applying all these tips. (And not using AI - fuck off, NaNoWriMo.)

9 Years Yearning is a coming-of-age gay romance set in a fantasy world with poetry magic. It follows two young men as they grow from sorta-enemies, to frenemies, to friends, and finally to lovers.

If you do read it, please don't forget to leave a review!

Even if it's mean. Don't worry, I won't be mad. Reviews are essential to getting visibility on Amazon, so every single one is golden to me.

[gffa]

Okay, not to defend Gotham War or anything, but I think I'm talking myself into liking what I see it's trying to do. Starting with some great tags on this post:

#i get why people are hating on it i really really do. trust me#but TO BE FAIR... zdarsky has been making it overwhelmingly clear that bruce is SERIOUSLY unwell right now#like it's been nonstop Horrors for him for like. over a dozen issues straight. with no rest or time to process. and he doesn't have alfred#who was a HUGE part of his support system not to mention the finances etc etc#iirc there's even a panel that pretty much outright states that this is more of an issue of control than morality#and that includes the choosing sides thing like the batkids seem more concerned w how bruce is going off the fucking rails than#just the moral aspects#anyway (via @clownprince)

#Batman#Bruce Wayne#REAL#REAL REAL REAL#LIKE. Zur En Arrh is a LITERAL Defense Mechanism going Malignant at this point#Not only that but throughout Zdarsky's run there's been allusions to illnesses and Bruce Not Having A Good Time#Not Having a Good Time and Not Having Time At All to take stock of the sheer What The Fuck-ery that's been going on recently#Because it's been a CONSTANT steam of What The Fuck-ery nonstop#And the Worse is yet to come if one considers the future issues synopsis and the ''I am a Gun'' story by Zdarsky#(At most I'm a little bit concerned over how Zdarsky will try to wrap this up‚ but that's a normal concern especially about Comics)#(Especially Batman Comics considering how often Editorial likes to... do things) (via @kaosvrow)

I agree with so much of the criticism of Gotham War, especially that the arguments for or against Selina's plans are absolute garbage by characters who should be making better arguments and that the other characters are being used as bobbleheads instead of actually giving them their canon personalities--and, okay, I will also point out that in the VERY FIRST ISSUE, Selina's plan gets someone killed and so I'm willing to extend some grace that the story isn't trying to push forward that either way is actually right, I honestly don't think it's about that. I think it's a story about Bruce Wayne's mental state, because Zdarsky's been building this up for awhile now, like the issue immediately prior to Knight Terrors? Shows us Bruce's mental state is ALREADY absolute TRASH right then:

Zur-En-Arrh was already leaking through the seams of his mind, he was already feeling the impending doom of everything he cared about being burned away, that his mind literally couldn't watch his kids being happy and together and getting along without feeling like it was all burning to ash.

And then Knight Terrors happened, which was one more thing digging hard, boney fingers into his trauma, and he handled it pretty well in the moment, but it's such a giant, non-stop pile of stress on a mind that is already damaged to hell and back because of his trauma.

Further, the very first issue of the Gotham War storyline? The very first panel, the one that sets up the stage of what's going to happen, makes a very clear point about how this is about Bruce fracturing:

And then on the very next page, Zur-En-Arrh is literally stalking at the bars of the cage around Bruce's mind.

And then Bruce wakes up and it's immediately more establishing just how worried everyone is about him because so much has been piled on lately:

Bruce hides his missing hand from his family, just like he's trying to hide how scraped thin he is right now, and goes out on patrol.

Where his internal monologue is all about how defensive he feels lately, how he feels like the years are catching up to him, how nothing feels right but this, making it clear that Bruce is hanging onto Batman with a death grip because it's the only thing that feels stable to him right now.

And all of this is in the first TEN PAGES of the first issue, this is our set-up, this is our foundation, this is what we're being given to understand what this story is about. Then Batman #137 happens and it's literally ALL ABOUT BRUCE'S MENTAL SPACE, that Selina's plan is the catalyst, not the driving point behind all of it. Again, I'm in 100% agreement that the Batkids are acting like cardboard cutouts because you will never get me to believe that they didn't notice crime going down or that they wouldn't be pointing out that Gotham's wealthy are just going to start making their security lethal in response or that the Court of Owls won't step in, that this is not a long term solution to giving these people lives beyond crime, or even that a lot of them should be agreeing with Bruce, that they don't get to decide who is an acceptable victim. But the story isn't really about changing up the way comics deal with crime, it's about even the Batkids are framing it in terms of how it's about Bruce. Jason is really the only one who seems onboard with trying out Selina's plan, but even his confrontation with Bruce isn't really about that, it's about all their baggage, their fight immediately becomes about how angry Jason is at the way Bruce has treated him. This fight isn't happening because Jason's a true believer in Selina's plan, it's happening because he's angry at Bruce and Bruce is in a shitty mental place, after all the non-stop horrors AND feeling like he's been betrayed by the kids who he thought understood that people being victims wasn't acceptable, and so he lashes out at Jason.

When they fight, it's not because they're siding against Bruce, it's because he's become unstable and dangerous. The why of it doesn't matter, it's not about that.

(And I'm actually okay with the way that fight happened because I can buy that, for example, Cass might be holding back against him, she's a stronger fighter than he is, but he's being ruthless because of the state he's in, while she might be feeling more cautious.) When they fight, it's not because they're siding against Bruce, it's because he's become unstable and dangerous. The why of it doesn't matter, it's not about that. Even further, when Bruce fights against his kids, he's wrong and biased, especially in the fight with Dick, who he thinks has a sloppy offensive and doesn't know darkness like he does--to which Dick just immediately cracks him in the face because, yeah, Dick Grayson does know darkness and Bruce isn't as untouchable as he's trying to make himself seem (because being Batman is all he has right now).

I think it's important that it's Dick who defies his expectations here, because this story is building off context of what happened between Selina and Bruce, that they were truly together for awhile, they were about to get married--Selina mentions that it the first issue, it's a major thorn in that conversation when she throws out how she doesn't believe that Gotham needs Batman anymore, it needs her.

She's giving him what he said he always wanted, she's giving him the thing that kept them apart, he should be happy, should they head to the church now? Saying that he won't because he wants to be Batman more than he wants to solve the city's problems.

The failed wedding between them is important in part because of what Selina's saying here, illustrating that both of them are bringing a lot of baggage to the table but also because of what else happened during that storyline, why the context is so important. Because that storyline dovetailed into one about Bane wanting to take over Gotham and he needed Batman unstable and distracted, which was working after Selina left him at the altar, he was a mess. But you know what was saving him at the time, bringing him back from the ledge? THIS KID:

Dick was the one poking and prodding at Bruce with jokes and warmth and care and it was working. He actually got Bruce to cry in front of him, to release some actual genuine emotion!

Dick makes Bruce more emotionally stable, to the point that Bane had to hire KGBeast to shoot Dick in the head just because he was so good at stabilizing Bruce--this is also why Dick's the one who says he'll go talk Bruce down off his moral ledge in Batman #137.

So, it's Dick that has to be the one to defy his expectations in the fight, has to be the one who breaks through Bruce's offense and knocks him down in what feels like a betrayal even when it isn't, because this isn't a story about who's right and who's wrong, it's a story about Bruce isolating himself because he's mentally fractured to hell and back, because he's not trusting his kids, he's still hurt by Selina leaving him, he's still grieving Alfred's death, he's run ragged physically and emotionally and mentally by a series of exhausting horrors piled on him, he's lost his family's fortune, he's not even living in his own family home anymore. (I focus on Dick here as an illustration of tying this back to previous examples of Bruce crumbling and important context that the storyline is drawing on, but Gotham War isn't really specifically about Bruce and Dick's relationship, but more about Bruce's relationship with all his kids, like Tim and Jason and Damian all have equally important moments. But it's a very direct example of how his children are a huge part of his support system and draw him back from the ledge of being just Batman and back into being Bruce.) That's why the issue ends with Bruce getting the papers telling him that the bank sold Wayne Manor to Vandal Savage, because it's one more thing that's stripping Bruce Wayne away from the character, and leaving him with nothing but Batman and Zur-En-Arrh. Gotham War isn't actually a story about a war for Gotham. It's a story about Bruce Wayne going out of control and everything is written to serve that. The characters' fights are catalyzed by Selina's plans, but they quickly become about Bruce's relationship with the characters. The narrative makes heavy-handed points about Bruce feeling like he's losing his grip, that he's hallucinating and talking to himself, that he is extremely mentally unwell right now. Everything Zdarsky's been writing (like especially the "I Am a Gun" storyline right before Knight Terrors) has been building up to fracturing Bruce Wayne.

[4m4zing-gracie]

Uzi Doorman: How unnecessary romance can ruin a character (Part 1)

This is no flack to Uzi, nor is it to any NUzi shippers (ship what you want, I may be an eNVy lover and I'm happy you got what you wanted, I just hate how it was handled in the show), but can we all just talk about how much the unnecessary romance subplot + the inclusion of it in the show in general absolutely butchered Uzi's character?

I hope to god this gets put under an automatic 'read more/expand' thing, 'cause this is gonna get long.

But in case it doesn't cue the obligatory 'read more'!

Thank you.

Now, I remember watching the pilot and loving the character and the premise, as well as the dynamics in the show. Uzi was one of the characters that stuck out to me the most and was arguably my favourite before that title was given to V in episode three. She was determined to murder the company as well as armies of their other killer robots to save her colony, even if she had no skills AND at the cost of her own life, and she is absolutely willing to take in the robots that are just as much victims in all of this as the worker drones (eg. N).

I overall like to think that despite her flaws, and what her spiteful personality seems to show and probably on the contrary to what she would claim if she talks to anyone about it, Uzi's a much better person than she lets on. Not the most altruistic obviously, but still better than most people in the show. Hell, she didn't kill V on the spot like she did with J, not only because her railgun was still charging, but also because she knew N liked her and doing anything to V would make him sad.

Uzi overall was strong, independent, and didn't take BS from anyone, and despite her abrasiveness was overall wanting the best for robotkind, even willing to team up with those who had been hurt by them to show them the light. And that is what drew me to her and made me like her.

Then comes The Promening. Uzi, who was terrified of N and what he, V and J could be just an episode ago, is meeting up with him again, and what does she do? Ask him to go with her to prom, all blushy-faced and everything, despite having been terrified of him a moment ago. No buildup, no episode dedicated to them making up and realizing that it's okay and they can figure out what is wrong together, just.... out of nowhere crush. And while you could argue that she still needed him there anyways because of the looming danger of whatever Doll and Lizzy were planning, it's still not necessary, and I hate how it continues to stay throughout the episode.

Ladies and gentlemen, your first indication that this next bunch of episodes gonna get long and arduous.

Up next is Cabin Fever. Not my favourite episode-- I mean, it's no Absolute End in terms of garbage-- but not my favourite either.

Okay, so Uzi's learned that the plot is thickening and that she has some kind of solver thing, and so does Doll. So now, she's trying to get some answers about what this thing that she and Doll have is by looking around the camp that her father recommended checking out.

We start with more unnecessary blushing (seriously, where the fuck did this crush come from)?! and then Uzi goes off to find the cabin where she might get answers. Unfortunately, no results.

We then get a moment between her and V. Uzi and V obviously don't see eye to eye (honestly, they needed an episode or a moment where they talk properly and get a better understanding of each other). Uzi wants answers but finds that V is some annoying parasite that only cares about herself and her stomach, and likewise V does not like Uzi, being jealous of her and not wanting her to get involved with the past, as V thinks she knows what is best for N and is trying to 'protect him' (which Uzi does not know why).

N and V are already getting along with the other campers outside, something Uzi envies because they rarely acknowledge her existence at best, or treat her like a monster at worst. In this moment, V is hammering the point home by saying how Uzi needs to stop 'being creepy' and that she plans to make the latter her next victim for sneaking around and snooping, and that N will move on from her. After all, if what she has said is true, the guy has made friends with rocks before!

Long story short, Uzi gets possessed by the Solver and goes crazy and eats people, and we see her almost about to kill V (something I doubt she'd do if she had free will, as it would make N upset). Only when N swoops in to save them both is when she manages to break free. Blah Blah Blah, N and Uzi have a moment, and they both hug it out together, and they crushily hold hands*, end of episode.

*- Uzi, you didn't need to do that because again, WHERE DID THIS CRUSH COME FROM?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Apologies in advance for the jarring Picrew, but I needed something to convey my facial expressions rn because I don't have nearly enough unhappy drawings of my 'Sona to show it.

So, as I have mentioned before, I'm an eNVy shipper. And so with this info in mind, you're probably thinking "Well, she's probably making this post to justify why eNVy should be canon". And in another universe where I'm an even bigger bitch than I already am, maybe I would be. But... that's not why we're here. We're talking about how Uzi was utterly RUINED as a character.

So to start, she was great at first. Loveable character, rebellious, surprised her plushie wasn't the second one made because of her popularity.

But then this crush came out of nowhere and so I begin to fear for the future of the show. As I'm watching this, I am partially honestly going "who are you and what have you done with my Uzi?" because while it's good that Uzi is still focusing on the mystery to some degree, it seems that now she's also starting to obsess over an out-of-nowhere crush that has ZERO buildup or anything similar. For god's sake, N and Disassembly drones in general were the objects of her fears at the end of episode two!

I GET that the show is about Uzi and N's friendship, I really do. And I like shows that are buddy-centric. But why does this random romance bullshit have to be squirmed in, when the show was already perfect without any signs of it? Seriously, Liam, this is not how you take things!

Unfortunately, it's only gonna get more arduous from there. So uh... I dunno, "thanks for coming to my TED Talk, stay tuned and keep an eye out for a part two coming later"? I dunno.

[positivelybeastly]

SEEING THE HEADCANON THING

TW for my intense negativity.

ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF

GOATS GREMLIN GIBBER JABBER

You don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want to, hell you don’t even have to read it cause this installment has

rage

Behind it.

So is it Riggs Raging Rant time? Yes.

Sorry for the intense negativity but it gets my GOAT. It genuinely does so much, and I know you most definitely understand this.

It sucks when I have seen more than once “oh I love the O5” or “I drew the O5!” AND HANK ISN’T THERE OR ITS JUST HIS HAND OR SOMETHING THAT ALLUDED TO HIM.

Literally I have SEEN someone say “oh the O5 have such a great sibling dynamic.” And they give examples for everyone EXCEPT HANK.

Im sorry did we forget how to count everyone?

I get it. I’m an artist and drawing 5 people in a picture is hard. It is. But like…drawing even three people together is hard hell sometimes even two when the idea isn’t cooperating. But don’t say you did something for the O5 WHEN ITS NOT ALL 5 OF THEM.

It just hurts…it hurts a lot and for some damn reason it gets me to tear up genuinely. LIKE I KNOW HES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER BUT LIKE— OW

Anyway sorry again, have a nice day I wish positivity upon you, and I’m probably gonna go home and draw hank when I’m off of work.

Okay, so, I feel this so intensely, because it is absolutely a trend that I've seen in the X-Men fandom, over and over and over again, and the sheer lack of trying to hide it just - galls me.

Like, with that headcanon post, it's not even that they don't think about Hank. Guess what? I don't care if people don't think about Hank. I think they're missing out, sure, but so what? Everyone in a fandom thinks everyone else is missing out on something, because everyone has a favourite that they like in a different way to everyone else.

It's the fact that they want to look like they're including him, and yet they can't be bothered to spending three seconds just - thinking, about something, even if it doesn't pass muster!

Like, 90% of these headcanon posts are completely garbage if you know these characters, they're mass produced fandom slop designed to slot these characters into pre-existing archetypes for better mass consumption, but you can really tell who they at least tried to cram into one of those archetypes? Hank, though? Ehhhhhhhhh.

But I have a special bone to pick here, that is intensely related to this point, and I'm gonna share it with you.

Let me introduce you to the O5xmen sub-Reddit.

I got invited to this place . . . oh, I don't know, probably about a month or two ago? I took a quick look around. It's fine. It's niche, but whatever, I run a Beast RP blog, who am I to judge for niche?

And then I noticed it, as I looked back through their history - which didn't take long, it's not been around for very long.

This was the second post in their sub-Reddit.

I will give you a hint, and tell you that no-one said Hank.

Oh, someone just came out and said it, that's nice.

You ready, kids?

So, uhh. Hank and Peter actually have the closest relationship of any of these people. They've worked together multiple times. Hank has come through in a pinch for Peter a ton of times.

It's almost like Hank is one of the most well connected X-Men characters because he's spent time on other teams, fostered other relationships and friendships, and broadened his horizons, and that has a tangible impact on things.

But whatever. They'd be 'science bros.' A nebulous fandom term for 'these two characters are nerdy and I don't want to spend any time examining that, so let's just sweep that under the rug!'

OP, you can just say you don't give a fuck about Hank, it's incredibly clear that no-one on this sub-Reddit does.

I just gave you four. Think harder.

And it's just that, ad nauseam.

Like, guys. Just admit you don't give a fuck! Stop pretending! Stop acting! 90% of people on Reddit read these threads on the toilet or during their commute, the 10% that actually does more than upvote or downvote are the real devotees of whatever the sub-Reddit in question is - and that 10% also cannot pretend to care!

And it's like . . . the natural retort is, okay, well, if it bugs you so much, why don't you do something about it?

The answer being that I do? That's what this blog is about? That's what my Reddit account is about, even? Look at my post history.

I am the number one Beast discourse generator on Reddit. Because there isn't a number two. I can only be active on so many sub-Reddits. Eventually, I get tired of having to be Hank's champion everywhere because people refuse to pick up a fucking book and read it properly - and, to go back to that O5Xmen sub-Reddit?

Why would I join it? It's full of people whose only conception of Hank is as a war criminal, or as 'the other one.' I can only fight so many uphill battles because people are bone-headed idiots. I refuse to be that one Beast guy you invite into your O5 discussion so I can elevate conversations about your fave while you in turn look at Beast and then swipe left. That isn't my cross to bear.

That's one of those things I like about Tumblr. I get to curate my friend circle a lot more aggressively, and I can just shut out anyone I don't want to interact with. The people I follow and am followed by here, the people I talk with on Discord, they're the people I know I can trust because I know that they're genuine. That's you guys. That's all of you. If you're reading this, that's you. You can read this because I can trust you and I know you're here out of a genuine interest.

But these other people? Pffft. Just say you don't like Hank and move on. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining - and for the love of god, have some fucking fandom etiquette, and don't post in Hank's tag for the express purpose of saying he sucks, because that just makes you look like a fucking cretin.

. . . Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, goat. :P

[chaifootsteps]

Oh my god, finally! I've been wanting to post here for a few days.

I'm the author of that infamous fanfic. And I wanted to say, unrelated to Hazbin, that the documentary and Drake's story, coupled with his new music video "I Kinda Relate" is the most heartbreaking and empowering thing I've ever seen. I bawled my eyes out the entire day that I found it.

In the first 28 seconds, Drake heavily implies, but doesn't show, his abuse that he suffered at the hands of his rapist, Brian Peck (who also was penpals with none other than John Wayne Gacy.)

I wanted to do nothing but hug that poor little boy, and to hug the man he is now. I want to tell him that he's beautiful and strong and brave for coming out. Male CSA victims rarely ever do. Could you imagine telling Drake then or now, that he's a *loser*? Could you imagine going about his abuse the way Viv did with Husk and Angel? He literally made his own music video that was much more tactful and empowering than Loser Baby ever will be.

I also have dirt on Dan S and that whole fucking pedo ring (I know a LOT of people in this industry. I also helped take down an ACTUAL ZOO AND PEDOPHILE with a decent amount of power a few years back.) And for anyone still confused about Drake, the girl he messaged lied about her age and he never did anything physical with her. He still acknowledges he's fucked up (please watch his hour long interview and music video) but he's "bound to make it right".

I also just want to say, to a CERTAIN PERSON, that comparing the objectively fetishisized abuse (I'm a CSA victim and into noncon), to fucking SEX ED FOR CHILDREN, is the absolute most fucking garbage and vile take I've ever seen. Poison is NOT educational. It is fetish content for Viv and Raph and others like them. If survivors and fans can turn something objectively negative into something subjectively positive, all the power to them.

Again, into noncon and a CSA victim. I also don't want to see stans taking this and telling me I'm invalid for critiquing Viv and Raph (already dealt with that in my damn fic.) I have been raped/sexually assaulted/groomed/groped/strangled/pinned down/dragged around as a child and NO ONE is ever going to tell me I'm a hypocrite or that I'm wrong for my feelings on this issue. Especially when I also have friends and my own mother as SA and CSA victims as well.

Someone like myself, or like Drake Bell, do NOT need to see how explicitly horrid our abuse was/is to understand how bad it is. I personally had panic attacks watching the episode, and having the knowledge of Raph being an unapologetic rape fetishist, was all I needed to know that that entire episode was fetish content. It's basically an adaptation of Raph's Red Smoke comic. Nearly word for word too. I've written and consumed so many stories over the years to know exactly what's going in their heads.

You know how you actually help a victim? You have friends and family and a therapist help you get out of that situation. Husk "helping" Angel was not the way to go about it.

And I've seen fans argue whether or not Viv is a rape fetishist (she is), but if she wasn't, why is she so adamant on keeping an unapologetic rape fetishist on her staff? He's confirmed to be working on season 2 (God I'm gagging thinking about it) and why does she like so much art (no hate to the artists) of sexy, fetishisized, hot, and sad art of Valentino? If he's supposedly based off HER abusive experience, why does she coddle, woobify, and downplay and sexualize him so much??? I wouldn't base a rapist character or write a rapist character as a fucking "high school Mean girl".

I'm sorry this got so long, but fuck man... it's so fucking disgusting.

Anyways, please watch this. It's got more tact and heart than fucking Poison will ever have. Drake Bell, my heart goes out to you. CSA victim to CSA victim. I hope you get better and can heal. And that goes for all victims as well. 💜🫂 (You too, Chai.)

And Brian Peck, and any and all other rapists, can burn alive in a grease fire. Val included.

https://youtu.be/I5gh8rAVLkI?si=B2eny2U4GZRgDZ7t

https://youtu.be/nSzk-MsVKqA?si=6D4rEihu89Yom7YG

Well said as always, Anon, and thank you for this.

Also, definitely seconding Brian Peck burning up in a grease fire.

[miniaturesuitgladiator]

Slugbug! No slugbug back!

Notes: this is just a drabble for my series that I'm still making. I just wanted a little story behind readers car. So this doesn't include any of the batfam sorry....

Warning: None ( readers dad might sound a little yander but he's not. He's just a girl dad.🤷‍♀️)

-💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗-

If someone asked about you to anyone in your small town the first thing they would know is your a daddy's girl. Not in a ' you get everything you want' spoiled girl way. No, you were a daddy's girl because more often then not you were spotted by your father. For example: if your father would be fixing a car you'd be the one holding the flash light ,or if you had a bad day at school everyone knew the first person you would tell was your father.

And sure maybe he did spoil you a little ,but thats only because you're a good kid(you can do no wrong in his eyes). And maybe you were his favorite kid but just by a little ( everyone knows your his favorite child by ALOT).

So yeah maybe he does spend some money on you but you're his baby you deserve it. So it was a surprise to absolutely no one when he got you a car for your sixteenth birthday.

So a couple of months before your birthday your father started looking for your first car. Now you were his baby but he always made sure not to go over board with spoiling you. After all he wanted you to grow up right ( and because your mother wouldn't let him buy you a brand new car.)

so your father went to a car lot that sold used cars ,but nothing really caught his eye. So he went somewhere he knew he could just about anything. The junk yard.....

Now Your father wasn't gonna let you drive around in some peace of junk if that's what your thinking. No, he knew that somewhere in this trashy place there was some gold pieces that were just waiting to be discovered.

So after about 2 hours of looking he found the perfect car! It was in great condition the only downside was that the motor was garbage. So he did what he had to do he bought the car and with the few months he had left he used all his spare time to rebuild the motor.

After the motor was rebuilt and the car was up and driving he still wasn't satisfied. So he had the car costume painted. After that he still wasn't satisfied so he bought new tires and rims too... he wanted to customize it a little more but he didn't have time(and cause your mother wouldn't let him..).

Anyway so after your big party and dinner with all your family and friends..you got your big surprise!

So in the middle of your drive way with a big pink bow on top stood your (practically) new car!

It was a Volkswagen Beetle in your favorite color! With new wheels and rims! It had like 5 miles on it ... and a brand new interior that your dad did! ( that your mother was not very happy with ... since it probably would have been cheaper just to buy you a new car.).

Everyone smiled when the seen the car because it was just so you! See you played this game that your dad taught you ever since you could remember. You don't recall the name but it's a simple game. Every time you see a Volkswagen Beetle you yell "slugbug! No slugbug back!" And you win there's no points... it's really just dumb but you play it with everyone... And you learned it from your dad...

So it's no wonder why when you seen your car your eyes welled up with tears.. sure this might not have been your dream car no... but this was special and everyone knew that...

So without a second thought in front of everyone you run up to your dad and give him a big and tight hug....just like you used too when he would come back from work... and he hugged you back just like he used to even he was tired from work....

Because this car meant something .... not only did it mean that you could take yourself wherever you wanted... it meant you were growing up ,and wouldn't be his little princess for much longer.........

-💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗-

Thanks for reading!

Taglist: @dhanyasri , @kore-of-the-underworld , @i-adorehannah

[lloydfrontera]

i think there was a comparison of tcf and tged here but atleast in tged og lloyd's parents still notice their son is not their actual son, unlike cale's family who were glad he just simply become non trash (this was the most upsetting when i read here that arcos and marbella noticed but cale's did not or even the butlers), a non family member didn't wish or say that it was great that og lloyd was replaced by someone else even if that someone is more helpful to the county, unlike alberu who was glad that cale got replaced, and another atleast suho plans to tell the truth to lloyd's parents unlike with rok soo to cale's parents who accepted he is cale (but then again og cale did request to accept the body they are in as who they are actually are)

i feel like i got a bunch of spoilers shoved down my throat but i have no context to them so no harm done ajshdksfd

i have no idea how fair it is to compare tged to tcf, they're two different pieces of media with their own themes, plots and characters going on and different people like different things. that's fine. i just personally disliked that people kept comparing my blorbo to their blorbo to make theirs look better. i don't want to the same thing! that's not very nice!

so i'm just gonna talk about what i do know which is the way tged treated og lloyd! i've read a bunch of isekai stories and it's rare the times the og characters are taken into account or even acknowledged so i was pleasantly surprised with how much focus tged put on the fact that suho did take someone's place, he did lie to his family and he did pretend to be someone he wasn't. and he feels genuinely sorry about it. he doesn't justify it by thinking he's better than og lloyd anyway so no harm done. he genuinely wants to apologize and make it right and he wants to do it at the right moment.

and then when the people around him find out the truth, they're not,,, happy about it. they don't think it was for the best or that og lloyd got what he deserved or that they're glad for it.

javier is the closest thing we get to something like that and even then he's genuinely torn about what he should do with the information. he hated og lloyd, absolutely despised the guy's guts, but even then he's not glad that he got replaced even when he acknowledges the new lloyd is hardworking, constructive and reliable. he doesn't know where his loyalties should lie and he's "filled with anguish" as he tries to decide what to do.

it would've been very easy for bk moon to just go "yeah he doesn't care that the son of the family he swore to protect got replaced by a stranger that's been lying to him for years" like, ahem, some other people would have, but instead he took the time to acknowledge that "hey, this is a genuinely fucked up situation, there's no right answer here, anyway you slice it someone will get hurt and the only way to move forward is to minimize the damage and make amends to the people who were hurt".

which is nice to see in an isekai! even tho og lloyd was absolute human garbage the narrative didn't dismiss him as a person and instead acknowledge that while it wasn't lloyd's fault there was still a someone being hurt by the fact he possessed a body that wasn't his.

and then when his parents find out they genuinely mourn the child they lost. there's no happiness, no joy, not even relief at being rid of a constant source of worry and disappointed. they're so... sad and heartbroken about their son being gone. even while they accept lloyd as their kid, even as much as they come to love him, there is no moment where they express any kind of pleasure about him replacing og lloyd. rather you get the sensation that they wish they could've had both of them at the same time, that they wish one hadn't come at the price of the other, that they love both of them so, so much even as different as they are.

the only one who doesn't express any kind of regret or sadness about og lloyd is julian which... honestly, it's very earned. no one should be forced to mourn their abuser, which exactly what og lloyd was to julian. if julian had expressed sadness over og lloyd that would've been his right, but the fact that he never did, at least not on-screen shouldn't be held against him, considering the amount of hurt og lloyd caused him.

so yeah! i really like the way bk moon handled this aspect of the story! again, i don't know how tcf works or what happens on it and at this point i'm not really interested in knowing! i'm sure it did its own thing and that it was great too!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

starting a tag game for writers

Hi, it's Asmi! Okay, so, I've seen so many people afraid to start/continue writing because they're afraid it'll be garbage. And it's so sad how much joy and creativity is getting lost because of that fear. I've written utter shit before, and looking back on it is actually hilarious, and also, it's a reminder of how far I've come as a writer.

I really, really want people to be less afraid of the written word and of creating, and to get rid of that aura of mystery and elitism that often covers the writing process. Writing is messy and it's hell and it's torture. And it's amazing.

So here's the tag game:

Give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you love [fiction, non-fiction, from different works or the same, from completed stories or poems or WIPs, from yesterday or ten years ago] that you love. If that seems hard, even one will do. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can just be something silly that gives you joy.

And give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you dislike and find shitty. Anything at all as long as you wrote it. If you think it's ridiculous or absolute fucking garbage, even better! That's the point of this game. To see that we all write good things and bad things. Yeah? You can do this. And remember that both these categories are subjective.

I'll start. It's not as scary as it seems, I promise.

Things I've written that I find shitty:

The first man grabbed him by his collar, pinned him against the wall of the cave in which they were standing, and spat, “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before. If the Queen’s not in the graveyard tonight, King Baza’s going to plan a most delightful execution for you. And even if he doesn’t, you being his nephew and all, I will arrange an accidental blowing up of your house when you are, tragically, inside.” [discount wall slam scene courtesy of 2016 Asmi, you're welcome]

“Overreacting?” said Dextor in disbelief, staring at Jay like, ‘What is wrong with you, dude?’ [sigh. my serious-scene-writing left a lot to be desired.]

“Don’t go,” I said, fighting tears. “Please, don’t leave me, too! You’re all I have left.” Strange thoughts for a child, but I meant every word. She looked at me with anguish. “I am sorry, Phil. Believe me, you are all I have, too, and this hurts me more than it does you. You’re like my son.” [I'm hysterical rereading this melodramatic shit, which was NOT the intended effect]

Things that I've written that I love:

He dropped the books onto a nearby chair and pulled her into his arms as he’d been longing to do all day, the smell of blueberries and hair product and her. The books she was holding were pressed against his chest, and he didn’t care. Why did he need to love the stars when he could love her, why did he need to look up at the sky for answers when they were right there in his arms? [I love this because when I first wrote it, I thought it was romantic, but I realised later that the boy, Ant, is aroace, and it doesn't change a thing about this scene, except that their love is platonic]

"Maybe being happy is the best that we can do. Maybe that’s more than most people manage, anyway.” They stood in front of the entrance, over puddles that reflected all the broken skyscrapers and the colours of the street and the grey-yellow sky. “Whatever you do with your parents,” she said. “Don’t let your guilt get in the way of doing ballet. It’s not wrong to be happy. It’s not.” [This is from the book I finished and I published, and I just really like this paragraph. It's not my favourite, but it makes me smile.]

The last you may leave wherever you please, wherever it is birds land to die. [A line from a poem I wrote in 2022, I like the rhythm]

(It took effort to find ones that I wanted to share, oof. If you find this difficult just know you're not alone. I usually like my writing, but turns out it's hard to take something you created and go hey, look, I'm proud of this. But we can do it.)

Alright, of course anyone who sees this is welcome to join, and tag the writers you know so we can all be uh writerly together :") but to start it off, no pressure tags @howmanyholesinswisscheese, @1800ineedshelp, @queermarzipan, @thescholarlystrumpet, @madfangirlontheloose.

Oh, and also tagging @neil-gaiman, @dduane, @drchucktingle just because maybe if you see this and join in, new writers will find comfort in knowing their role models have ups and downs, good and bad days too :")

Have a lovely day, everyone, and keep writing.

[toweringboottreads]

"Mmm...I think I'll give you all a sneak peek at what you can expect~"

Second to last part and man i forgot how good these were to look at LOL

anyway uhhh links hi

Art by TheZangzilla Fic by Me And while it is over and u dont have to, if youd like to donate anything to us :3

Fic under cut v

"God look at me, I'm so fucking huge! Look at you! Look at all of you!" Lori's voice boomed across the globe, entire continents hearing her declaration as she went on. "To think I was stuck on such a pathetic little ball of garbage with filth like you. I knew I was special. That I was important, and this just confirms it! I ate the damn Army and I'm going to crush the shit out of you." She pressed her fingers down in individual points on the land, a city in the center where her palm was primed to go as her growth caused slowly increasing gashes to form, the trenches miles deep into the crust of the earth getting further and further away, dozens of cities partially or completely crushed as the example city could do nothing but wait for the hand to drop. "Maybe you should beg and pray to me since I'm basically your goddess now." She said, letting out a show-offy laugh as her palm slammed down, no grinding or sweeping necessary to know how utterly destroyed the country was getting. Her ass hanging in the air and her knees and chest supporting her meant that she was taking up a relatively small amount of space- yet even then her paws were starting to get wet with ocean water, thighs each in different seas as she she sat up once more. The thought occurred to her to sit properly, to grow and grow until the earth went from a boulder she sat on to a seat her legs and hips could easily crush. But that would destroy too much of it, and too quickly. For what she wanted to do, she'd have to have the smallest bit of restraint…

"…But fuck it, that isn't going to save you. It's insane really, my tits are so huge now and half a hemisphere can't even see 'em! But not for long…" She began to stand up, feeling the absolute wonder of her paws smothering entire countries, toes wiggling and causing storms and tremors that made chunks of the planet fly off into orbit. She wanted to lift her heavy paws up and slam them down, she wanted to crack and crumble the planet right then and there, to jump up and crash down with a force no person had ever conceived of being possible by one person. But no, she simply crouched down, and hopped up as high as she could, feeling the gravity of earth lose it's grip on her as she began to float in space. "God this is incredible. I need to get bigger, I need to become stronger. I deserve it. But first… I can't just let you pathetic things go." She spoke softly, as if to give them the smallest bit of respite she could take away. "I'm going to crush you. Eat you. Destroy you. I'm going to devour you so completely that this puny little dirt ball may as well have never existed.and you know what?" Her monologue could only be overshadowed by her increasing size, having grown to rival the planet itself and not coming close to slowing down. The Earth basked in her shadow completely, the sun illuminating her face and body more and more as the world was only as big as her torso, gravity starting to pull it towards her. As her hands reached out, big enough to cover the largest continents, and she dug her fingers into the mantle and crust, she sloooowly brought it forward, smirking at the world held in her grasp so easily. The world stood still at her speech, watching as her slow, evil laugh continued on, her maw opening more and more as the planet was stuck looking up at their soon to be destroyer. The moon itself- a celestial body Pokemon have been looking up to for millennia, began to drift towards her mouth, which caused a smile to creep up the corners of her muzzle. "You'll just be the first of many because as I continue to ascend, I'm going to find more planets. More Civilizations." Her tongue, as the moon came past her fangs, lifted up to grab it, like a predator lying in wait for its prey. The dusty, nearly untouched stone was quickly coated in her saliva before it was moved to the back of her throat, her supreme growth bringing it down to the size of a gumball. And as she swallowed, her tongue coming up to block it from view, the apocalyptic sound of it crushed and crumbling into a mass of magma and stone in her throat, she finally closed her mouth, her tongue coming out for a taunting lick of her snout. "You won't be remembered," She spoke, the world small enough that her fingers pressed down on one half, and her thumbs on the opposite. "but others will join you soon enough, bugs."

[lemotmo]

I love that we're all just spiraling into AU theories 🙃

Q. I'm nervous about the fact that they have clearly added several Lonestar writers. That show is so ridiculous and all the BTS stuff coming out is making me more confused, haha. Because what the actual hell is happening?? Hello magazine cover!

A. Okay it's time for some truth. Is Lonestar a ridiculous show? Yes. But 911 is not free of its own ridiculous choices. I watch Lonestar. And it's nothing but mindless television. It's pure fluff. It's wacky and over the top and does certain things that are absolutely ridiculous. But so does 911. We just tend to give it more of a pass because it's the show we prefer, and overall it is the far superior product. Overall it has better characters. Overall it has better acting. Overall it has better stories, but they're still capable of telling absolute garbage. The entire back half of last season proves that. The first half wasn't without its flaws either. For starters spending three episodes on the sinking ship was definitely one episode too many, in my opinion. Especially when you account for the fact that a great deal of that time was spent on that ridiculous Norman and Lola plot. It was stupid and was allowed to take up way too much time. Was anyone dying for an update on Norman and Lola? No. Literally no one cared if we ever saw them again, but there they were front and center for three freaking episodes. Let's move to the wedding episode now. Was that much hallucinated Doug necessary? Nope. Again, way too much screen time devoted to a part of the story absolutely no one wanted to see again. The episode was excellent overall but there was way too much unnecessary Doug. Then we spent the rest of the season with Bobby and the cartel, vigilante Athena, and Eddie dating his dead wife's twin. Utterly ridiculous television. We have to call a spade a spade.

If they really are doing an AU everyone will need to understand that a storyline like that comes with a certain built in level of ridiculousness. All of the speculation is fun and interesting, and some of it probably way better than what we will actually get, but people need to acknowledge parts of it will most likely be ridiculous. It's called fantasy for a reason. We can't automatically expect it to play like Buck's coma dream. We're most likely going to have to suspend reality for a bit. Especially considering the BTS stuff we've gotten so far leans more satirical than dramatic. Obviously we have no actual details but I just don't want people raging if it goes more camp than serious. That doesn't mean the events that lead up to the AU or the parts that come after the AU can't or won't be serious. I just think people should have the expectation of at least some of it being ridiculous. And that's okay. It's okay to have a bit of fun with it. And yeah the magazine was odd, lol. I have no idea what's happening. He does look like Eddie. Kind of. So who knows. The big thing for me was that he was hiding his hand, again. So that's clearly going to be something. Hopefully he does get to punch Gerard. But I doubt it. That would just require makeup for bruising, unless he breaks his hand doing it, but the cast would just slip on and off, so there would be no need to keep it on when he wasn't filming. Then again this is 911 so anything is possible. They're clearly reading our theories though so I'm not even sure if everything we're getting can be taken seriously. This got long, anon. I'm mostly just trying to tell you to not overthink everything. Which we're all going to do anyway so......

Thank you Nonny!

I have never watched Lone Star beyond episode 2, so I can't really comment on the first part of this ask.

As for the possibility of an AU episode? It's been done successfully before in other more 'serious' shows, so it can be done. I do think the 911 writers are clever enough to pull it off.

That magazine article is probably nothing. Someone over on Twitter found the stock picture that was used for that magazine. You can find it here. So in all likelihood it was just a prop magazine and the guy on the cover happened to look like Ryan. Who knows?

I agree that Ryan hiding his hand each time was very interesting. And the magazine picture was taken in the emergeny room. So, that might be something.

But yeah, we don't really know anything at this point. It's just a guessing game. Let's just enjoy the speculating and theorising and hopefully we'll get some good new bts content this week. Then we can obsess over something else yet again. XD LOL!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[spibbb]

Symbruary Day 10: In Sickness/In Health

Some time after the events of The Hunger, Eddie catches the flu. The symbiote struggles to help his body fight it off. Living "happily ever after" continues to be a challenge.

Another short, also inspired by land-of-brains-and-chocolate and their pre-Hunger one-shot on AO3.

It took a couple of days, some prodding of Eddie's memories and some physical prodding of Eddie's face, to coax him awake, to learn what was afflicting him. Some kind of virus. Influenza.

The symbiote had never seen anything like it before. It made his arms and legs so weak. His entire body was like a furnace. His mouth was thick with saliva for the better part of a week even when he didn't puke (which was, alarmingly, often). At times, the symbiote had to bodily drag him at night to find water because he'd be too tired to do it himself.

The symbiote grew agitated over this. Angered, but not at Eddie. He waved it off, collapsing back into another heap of garbage bags tucked into an alley.

“It's nothing to worry about,” he said thickly, his nose blocked (still blocked). “It will pass.”

It hadn't passed. Which the symbiote wouldn't have had cause for alarm for, except for the fact that all of Eddie's memories of this wretched thing told the symbiote that it would last a week at most. It had been two weeks, and Eddie's muscle mass was starting to feel the lack of stored food.

After the great, terrible hunger that had afflicted them, Eddie's body had shrunk noticeably. Noticeable to someone living inside him, anyway. Now it was even worse. It didn't like it at all, not one bit. It would fix this. It had to.

Medicine, Eddie, it urged. It pushed the strange bottle of liquid into Eddie's chest. He stirred, half awake, face scrunching.

“Where'd you get this?” he slurred. He didn't remember picking any up. The last thing he remembered was passing out on a rather large pile of bags that smelled like freshly discarded Chinese take-out. The symbiote batted the line of questioning away, insistent. “Alright, alright,” he conceded. He drank the wrongly sweet smelling liquid before clearing his throat.

“Ah, just as terrible as I remember it.” He smiled, turning the bottle around to look at it. But his eyes were extremely unfocused. The symbiote could see how the text swam in his vision. This did nothing to quell its anxiety.

Water, it thought urgently. Water, Eddie. Need water. Thirsty.

“I know,” Eddie said, with no particular panic. His eyes closed, but the symbiote pried them open with all its might. Eddie coughed wetly. “We’ll go get some water, yes. Okay.” Eddie tried to stand but his knees wobbled dangerously. The symbiote caught them both, leaning against the brick wall.

“Hm. Maybe I'm sicker than I thought.”

The symbiote hissed and pinched Eddie’s ear, writhing in frustration just under his skin.

Eddie ignored this and pulled himself upright. “Yes. Wouldn't do to have–” he took a moment to hack and wheeze, “to–ah, I can't think.” His head throbbing didn't help.

Need water. Food. Eat.

“Mm,” he hummed in agreement. He patted the pocket of the threadbare robe he’d pilfered from a dumpster. “I’m afraid we’re short on funds.”

The symbiote didn't have the words to describe it, but it could feel it: delirium. Eddie was absolutely delirious. In all his past memories of this sickness, it never seemed like this. The symbiote writhed some more, forming hands with claws to dig into Eddie’s collarbone.

Will get food. Need to walk.

So he did. With all the grace of a drunk gazelle. Thankfully, he was too out of it to pay any mind to people gawking at him as he stumbled down the sidewalk.

They managed to swipe a pizza box and an accompanying bottle of water off the back of a delivery man’s bike. The symbiote felt bad for a few seconds–before remembering its host, and it flung the lid off, slapping a slice of it into Eddie’s face.

“Hrffg,” Eddie said.

The symbiote chirped in response.

He chewed slowly, feeling his throat still trying to rebel against him. The symbiote did its part to wrangle his still churning stomach.

It was so frustrating. His body had worked perfectly well before, and then this–if it could tear apart the concept of Sickness itself with its teeth, it would do so with immense ferocity and prejudice. It was tired. They were tired.

Eddie dug his fingers into a clump of the symbiote’s mass, which had situated itself on his lap as he sat cross-legged.

“Thank you,” he said warmly. The symbiote pooled into his hand, mollified. He agreed that it was strange to be sick for so long. He downed the water bottle in about five seconds. His parched throat thanked him.

They sat in silence for a while; Eddie breathing, the symbiote feeling his pulse in his wrist, his chest, tendrils wrapped loosely around him.

“I'm sorry,” he said hoarsely. “I should be taking better care of us. I promised.” The symbiote uncoiled from his hand to look at him, eyes unblinking but not cold. Strange but in a good way.

Took care of me, it thought, unsure. It’s okay.

“I made you worry. I'm sorry, dear.”

It shivered.

Not worried. Ate. Drank. Not puking.

It was still pretty worried, but it could worry about literally everything now, so it was hard to differentiate it all quantitatively.

Eddie smiled broadly, eyes more focused now, more awake, and it shuddered with his gratitude, seeping out of every pore.

He kissed it between its eyes, squeezing it in his hands.

Then he sneezed directly into its face, making it splat against the wall.

“Oops.”

[madness-of-void]

The Cosplay Progress (?)

Okay...I'm doing it. I'm showing off the hot mess of progress of the possibly decent, or absolutely hot garbage, cosplay of my version of human!Ink. I do have a nice chunk of the items for the cosplay - just gotta put it together. Most of the putting together can be done in a day, and I have until July to finish it all, soooo...we'll see how this goes! ^^;

Now I'll just post updates maybe every other day, or once a week, since I do have most of it in hand. And it will all be under the cut, since it'll long as fuck. So, without further ado, let's begin, shall we?

First off, this is probably the most ambitious cosplay I've ever done. Normally I do something easy. Examples: Stiles from TW, casual Keith from VLD, and recently (for Halloween) genocide route Frisk. debating on positing what garbo pics i have of those

Flowerfell!Frisk? Probably the most complex I've done, and only because I had to have help make a flower crown, actually use fabric glue for the flowers and little heart on the shorts and flower on the mask , painted up a random prop stick I had lying around no idea why i had that , and did a little bit of faint make-up. And ended up with this:

bad pic i know but it's all i got of the full thing where i don't look like a drowned rat coz goddamn it was hot af

So after that, for some damned reason, I decided it would be a GREAT idea to do a difficulty jump and do Ink! Yaaaaay...I'm so smart. I have been looking at this as a reference for what I need mostly coz i had it saved on my phone already , which has been both motivation to get this done...but also a little intimidating. But I'm already too far into this. Can't back out now!

Anyways, enough rambling! Let's start with the first update on this silly thing!

HOODIE

So, firstly, I already had my eye on the Ink hoodie from @simakai's shop! I already have the Underfell one that I used for my Flowerfell!Frisk cosplay. I also have the Outertale hoodie, bi pride hoodie, and ace pride hoodie all from Simakai! They are all amazing hoodies, and I actually just bought Epic's hoodie from their new shop! Definitely check them out! They're comfy, well made, and I'll admit I wear my Outertale and Underfell hoodies out sometimes.

The pic doesn't do it justice (hence all the millions of links above), but tada! The hoodie! My biggest worry is maybe tripping on the scarf, but I think I can manage. place your bets coz my ass clumsy

Also, there is a little surprise in it!

Twas quite the laughing jumpscare when I was messing with the pockets.

And that's it for update 1! Stay tuned for more. >:3

~+~

Update 2 time!

Apologies for how garbage the pics are for this part. Space was a mess at the time, and I'm too lazy to redo it. With that out of the way...let's ramble!

PANTS

So, next to the sash for the vials, this was surprisingly the hardest thing for me to find. I couldn't find anything that looked "just right". The first pair that I bought did look just right...but the color was way off. Way too bright from what was advertised. Took me a while to find another pair, and I actually bought two more. one of which i may use for a ftfo!ink Now, the next pair is the right color...but it's just a nice pair of sweats/joggers. Which is a bit of a bummer, but seeings how I cannot sew/make a full blown pair of pants (can barely sew at all), and my stepmom (who can sew) isn't that insanely skilled, they will have to do.

Here is a pic of the pants side-by-side coz for the longest time I was going to go with the first pair I bought. But after putting it together with the top...no. Just...no. Did not look good. You'll have to take my word for it.

And before you ask, yes. I will have assistance sewing on the little suspenders. That will be two separate posts on their own in the future! It won't be just plain brown pants.

So that's it for update 2! Stay tuned for more! if you want i ain't forcing ya lols

~+~

Update number 3! Wooooo!

And it is actually really boring.

Like...royally boring. sorry?

GLOVES

So these were a bit easy to get. Granted, I did buy two pairs, because I couldn't decided initially. It was only after trying them on that I could make a decision.

They are a bit long, but I can live with that. especially coz I am not planning on doing the tatts, that would end terribly And, yes, they are missing that little piece on the pinky. Just like the pants are missing the suspenders. And just like with those, I will be having assistance sewing that piece on!

I could show you want I have of that, but I'm planning on making that one big update.

Okay! That's it! Stay tuned for update 4!

~+~

Update 4! Not another exciting one again. The more exciting ones will slowly trickle in. depending on what you define as exciting

Anywho! Update 4!

SHOES

Yes. Shoes. I know our favorite souless bean doesn't wear shoes anymore...but I have to. No need to get my toes all messed up! Especially at this convention center. Walking around there can be a nightmare! Closed toed or not. 😭

Anyway!

Shoes!

They were sadly kind of expensive, but these were the closest I could find that kind of fit for what I was going for and i looked at custom ones first. Plus, I will be wearing these outside of the cosplay. So I get shoes for cosplay, and shoes for whenever I wanna wear them - a win-win.

But, one more thing! I will also I guess ruin them, in a way. How will I ruin them? Well...I was thinking of adding more splatter to them. Plus, see that pesky logo? Welp...I also had an idea for that.

And I'll just leave this update at that. >:3

~+~

Update 5! Long time coming, I know. But a lot of what I have left are bigger pieces that have a few extra things I gotta do, and I just haven't been focused on doing them. But since I'm actually going to finish this one this weekend, I decided to show the unfinished product. With that being said, here we go!

VIALS

These were actually so hard to find! I couldn't find anything that worked! And I originally started looking during the Halloween season, too! When these type of things would be more around. But everything was either way too big or just straight up decorative glass. Which...yeah. Would not do!

Eventually, after searching for ages, I found these on Etsy.

They're originally for necklaces, which, even though they are glass, they're hopefully a tad more sturdy. And, if things work out, I'll have a perfect way to keep them in the sash! We shall see.

I also found these!

Figured it would be fun to have little earrings on human!Ink.

Now, for the paints in the vials, I was having a hard idea what to do. Part of me wanted to put real paint in there. Yeaaaaah...probably not the best idea. But I finally figured it out, and I'll be working on it this weekend!

Stay tuned for the final look!

~+~

Hello hello hello! Tis time for the final rush post of the process! It's all the final stuff, so yay. Pics of the full cosplay will be up either later on after the con, or the day after.

So, without further ado...here we go!

PANTS PART II

Tada! Simple little thing. Probably one of the easiest to do with the whole shebang. And the straps?

Ribbon. Ain't that neat? XD

GLOVES PART II

So this was a bit tricky. I had cloth from an old t-shirt to do for the pinky, but it kept making the sewing machine freak the fuck out since it's such a small piece. I did have backups of gloves that i could wear under the brown ones and cut off all the other fingers. Unfortunately, the two pairs I got turned out to be bright, obnoxious blue instead of the sort of teal-ish/mint color as advertised. So I had to get a third pair, which was a darker green and sheer. Not exactly what I wanted, but eh. Oh well. Creative liberties!

Here is the final result! I had to cut the pinky on the brown gloves too so it looked a little better. And the nail polish is close to what they'll be at the con, just more cleaned up.

SHOES PART II

Okay! Shoes! These came out a little better than I thought they would! And they were fortunately very easy to do. (Which I needed after a few things causing issues)

Tada! Fun little nod to his old shoes (before he had nada)! And of course the black "ink". The paint refused to splatter like I wanted, but oh well. Still pretty happy about it.

VIALS PART II

These actually proved to be more difficult than I anticipated. Many coats were needed, and even then they sort of still smeared oddly. Despite that, they turned out pretty great! I especially love the ink vial earrings. Those definitely were difficult due to their size.

SASH

Whoo-hoo! The sash! Fortunately, my stepmom is a sewing whiz and she helped a great deal with making sure this part of the cosplay came to be. So, here is the sash before:

Definitely was a bit rough, since the Joanne's we went to lost all momentum to care since the bankruptcy filing. And it did fray a little bit upon the cutting of the pattern. Not enough to absolutely ruin it, thank hell.

Here is the final result:

(Sorry about the poor lighting, I really had nowhere else to get a decent pic)

Tada! Vials in sash! Thankfully, they all are snug as a bug in a rug in those pockets! .... With super glue. Really didn't have a choice on that front. Still, for something as ambitious as this, something I definitely went clueless in to, happy it turned out as good as it did.

(Stepmom saved ass with this one ❤️)

WIG

Okay! This...this bitch...was a nightmare. I had never styled a wig before, and for some reason thought it would be a good idea if I did! Had a nice tutorial vid all qued up and thought I was all set! Except...the wig was an absolute tangled mess and took ages to untangle. It was also the second wig I had bought, coz the first one, for some unknown reason, was more purple than advertised. So wig number two, I had to buy in a hurry and it was a tad cheap since I'm on a bit of a budget (moving at the start of August ftw).

But, finally, after hours of fighting with this beast, this is the end result:

The braid will be pulled back into the makeshift ponytail, since I actually do have to pull it back up once it is secured onto my head, but otherwise this is the final result. The blue and pink (squint and you'll see it) are extensions I added, which also proved to be a challenge. Still proud of it all for someone who has never done more than brush a wig before! Though, never again. At least for a long ass while. ;_; thank you Dust for being an easy cosplay for next year

MAKEUP

I can't really show the full makeup I have to do until, well, it's all done, but I have tried it all out and hooray! It all works! So, instead, here is the nice pile I will have to use:

We got two different shade of eyeshadow, since I can't do colored contacts. My eyeballs are...very weird. Only one eye will allow a colored contact, and I did not wanna waste money to only use one contact. So one eye will have green eyeshadows, and the other will have yellow eyeshadows.

There's also gonna be blue eyeliner with the green eye having it on the underlid, and they yellow eye having it on the upper lid. To make it all "whimsical" and "silly".

There's a pencil liner to create the inkblot shape, black face paint to fill it in, and black eyeshadow to help make it even darker. i am a master of doing some cool shit with eyeshadow

I have two different sprays to help keep the makeup on longer. And, of course, the foundation and concealer coz I will look like a zombie otherwise lols.

Yeah...I am...gonna be having a blast with this lot. Especially making sure I can remake the really nice inkblot I did when testing it out. Fingers crossed and best wishes for my dumb ass for being so ambitious.

BROOMIE

No. I will not show this one. Just picture a wig on a stick and there you go. Needless to say, as much as I wanted to like it...I don't. It looks so bad. 99% sure I will not bother bringing bootleg Broomie with me. Makes me sad, but hey...can't win them all.

Okay, so that's it! I'll do a part two of this post since, whoops! I have hit my limit! So, with the next post, I'll have the bag I specifically got for this cosplay (and will totally be using it later), and the full cosplay itself!

And, if anyone is going to AX, I'll see you there mayhaps!

[thatswhatsushesaid]

Xiyao?

oh!! xiyao is the otp to end all otps for me (@verdantrivers tagging you as well since you also asked about them, even tho you already know everything I'm going to write anyway)

ship it 🤌

What made you ship it? in the novel, it was absolutely the teacups scene. but uhhh this is embarrassing but I came into this fandom backwards, and so my first exposure to xiyao was the show! tl;dr I was looking for a show on netflix to fill the void left in my soul after the depressing end of The Rise of the Phoenixes, and someone somewhere rec'd The Untamed because "it's gay and the gays get a happy ending!!" me, a depressed bisexual, "oh, what a relief, I could use a happy ending for the gays after all that depressing straight people nonsense I just suffered through." (joke's on me, my chosen gays did not get their happy ending, I clowned myself) anyway, /scuffs foot, it was the box scene. their cute little shuffle over the box. the shy yet lingering eye contact. meng yao's eyes doing the thing that zhu zanjin has them do every time he looks at lan xichen for longer than a second, like he's noticing how beautiful starlight is for the first time, and lan xichen looking like meng yao just awoke something in him that he didn't even realize was there until that moment. meng yao's beautiful face journey when he sees lan xichen and rushes to say goodbye to him. like... I feel it bears mentioning at this point that I knew so little about this show or the canon source material that I literally thought that xiyao was going to be the main ship with the happy ending just based on this moment alone, and so you can imagine by dismay once I realized how tragically wrong I was. RIP past me. anyway, while I absolutely prefer jgy's characterization and arc in the novel canon, I will nevertheless die for the way lhk and zzj chose to bring xiyao to life on-screen. they did the reading.

What are your favorite things about the ship? besides the siren call of a decades' long near-romance that is doomed by the narrative, probably that when given a choice (or rather, when jgy believes that he has a choice), jgy and lxc always choose each other, both when the stakes are low and when they are extremely high. one bad faith and garbage take on their dynamic that I often see trotted out by jgy's harshest critics is that he exploits lxc's affection for him exclusively to cement his position within the lanling jin sect and to further his own ambitions, which seems like such a dull and reductive way to view the nearly two decades they spend together in each other's lives. I also just don't understand where this interpretation comes from?? is it just from jgy using the pass token to get the song of spirit turmoil from the library pavilion's forbidden section? because yes, that was a violation of lxc's trust, but also like... would there even have been a forbidden section in the library pavilion for him to steal from if jgy hadn't sacrificed so much of his dearly bought social and political capital upon gaining his recognition from jgs to help the gusu lan rebuild the cloud recesses? this is not me trying to diminish that violation of lxc's trust, but just to emphasize that jgy actually had very little to gain, politically speaking, at the time he pressed his father to provide aid to the extremely vulnerable and weak gusu lan, but he did it anyway, and he did it because he knew lxc needed the help. smaller stakes: given the choice between being in anyone else's company or each other's, they always gravitate towards each other in any space they occupy together, and that does things to me lol.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? with very few exceptions, I don't enjoy lan-furen as a concept 🤷‍♀️ I didn't even fully understand why the lan-furen AUs didn't work for me until I read commentary specifically by you and @fincalinde and @confusion-and-more (I think) about how deeply jgy's pursuit of his birthright with the lanling jin is integral to his character. because I do remember reading objectively good and well-written lan-furen fic that should have been providing me with emotionally satisfying xiyao catharsis after getting hit by the truck that is the canon ending, and instead left me feeling like I'd eaten too many bites of a pie that was good yesterday but has already started to turn. idk that metaphor is getting away from me. also, more fics where jgy is the soft dom in the bedroom, please, that's my favourite jgy flavour.

[julieverne]

Jane's broken up with men for a lot of stupid reasons.

For Joey it was cheating off her test. And calling her frog face.

For Steve it was the movie he chose.

For Martinez it was getting her CI killed. Not just that, but physically preventing her from going after her when she could have made a difference.

For Dean it was making her shoot Maura's father. For making Maura hate her, however brief that hate might have been. She wished Paddy had killed him. Still does sometimes, when she remembers the anger and hurt on Maura's face. Sometimes she wishes she'd shot him instead of Paddy for setting that whole thing up. For using her to get a lead.

But for Casey it was because he threw out the Marmite.

"Maura gave me that," Jane said, digging through the trash can, looking for that flash of yellow that always brightened her day.

"I got you a new one. One that's not expired," Casey said, putting it on the counter as though that made anything any better.

"Where is it?"

"I took the garbage out after you left this morning. It's gone." The congenial smile left his face, followed by concern.

"I told you not to touch it. Get out." Jane opens the door and watched as he packed quickly. She locked the door behind her, heading for the back of the building.

"I'm sorry," he called after her, but she was already vaulting into the dumpster.

---

When Maura's hand tapped the side of the dumpster, Jane's head popped over the edge, still scowling.

"Frankie said you needed Marmite," Maura said, holding up a jar. Jane shook her head, disappearing, rustling through the trash like a racoon. Occasionally Maura heard the thump of Jane hitting the dumpster in anger, or her swearing at touching something gross. "If I call Frankie, you know he's going to jump in." Jane's head appeared, filthy but excited.

"Yeah, call him. He's real good with trash. Oh. OH!" Jane disappeared again, coming up triumphantly with a jar of Marmite clenched in her hand. "YEAH!" Jane yelled, her adrenaline pumping. Maura moved forward to help her out of the dumpster, then stepped back. She grabbed a hose on the side of the building, taking the Marmite with a glove from her bag before hosing off Jane, arms spread wide and face turned to the sky, smile on her face without a care in the world.

Jane left puddles in the hall. Maura shoved her in the shower fully dressed, then went out to mop up after her so the HOA didn't try to kick her out again.

Jane came out in a towel using a second towel to dry her hair, occasionally sniffing herself.

"I think I'm clean. Am I clean?" Maura leaned forward and sniffed Jane, giving an impressed smile. "Okay I'm clean. Which isn't saying much because half the time we both smell like a deco." Jane threw herself on the couch. Maura had picked up some disinfectant wipes and started cleaning the original jar of Marmite, sitting beside Jane.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jane groaned and turned away.

"He threw out my stuff, Maura, there's nothing to talk about."

"Frankie said Casey said you kept yelling that I gave it to you, and how dare he. He's staying with Frankie, by the way. He seems to think you broke up with him over Marmite."

"Not the Marmite." Jane sighed. "I leave it on the counter so I see it every day. So I remember that no matter what godawful kind of day I've had, you're my friend again. That we're still friends. The little flash of yellow makes me think maybe it's not so bad. That I'm not so bad. It's like... forgiveness? Absolution? Something. It's stupid, but it's something you gave me. You get it, don't you? And it felt like he was throwing you away. It told him not to, and he did it anyway, in my house. It was really disrespectful, and I don't take disrespect. Not any more. It felt like he was trying to replace you. It made my skin crawl."

"So you went dumpster diving for two hours? Jane. I have spare Marmite. I've given you lots of things over the years. Why the Marmite?" She tilted her head, genuinely curious. Jane looked down at her hands.

"It was the first thing you gave me. After Hoyt. We were just getting to be friends. You were opening my jars for me. And you gave me this." Jane picked it up and looked at it. "And you said I'd be able to open it myself one day, and if I never did then you'd do it for me. And I never opened it because I knew I could call you. And you'd come. You'd be here, and you'd open it. When we were fighting I moved it to my bedside table and I stared at it every night. But I never called."

"I would have come," Maura admitted. "I didn't realise you'd attached so much significance to such an unassuming object."

"It's a metaphor or something, right? A simile?"

"Symbolic," Maura corrected her gently. Jane shot her a grin, picking up the jar. "Don't," Maura said when Jane reached for the lid.

"Why not?"

"If it's a symbol, let it be a symbol. So you know, any time you need me. You can call. And I'll come. Even if it's to open your expired Marmite. It's a promise, Jane, and I take those seriously." Jane shrugged, trying to hide her smile, and grabbed the new jar, twisting the top off easily, dipping her finger in.

"Oh YUCK! That is rank, Maura." Jane gagged.

"You were in a dumpster for two hours and you regularly hang out with corpses. You can handle a little Marmite."

"It wasn't about the Marmite," Jane admitted, looking over at Maura. "It just made me think he was trying to make room for himself in my life by getting rid of you. And nothing is ever going to get you out of my life. Not Casey, not Hoyt, not Dennis. No one. Nothing. You know that, don't you?"

Maura wet her lips with her tongue nervously.

"What if I said I was jealous of Casey?"

"I'm done with Casey. You don't need to be jealous of him. You won't walk in on us again." Jane shot Maura a nervous grin. "We can jog whenever you like."

"No, Jane, I mean - I wasn't just jealous of him taking up your time. I was jealous because -" Maura bit her thumbnail and looked at it absently. "Because he got to be with you. He got to date you. He got to -" Maura blinked rapidly and looked away, grabbing her bag and getting to her feet.

"Maura." Jane's low voice stopped her. Made her turn back to the couch to see Jane's anguished face. "I wouldn't spend two seconds in a dumpster for anything he gave me," Jane admitted.

"Okay," Maura said slowly. "So where does that leave us?"

"I've been trying to figure that out for a while." Jane screwed the cap back on the Marmite and put it down, making a decision and getting to her feet. She strode over to Maura in two short steps and kissed her.

They'd kissed before, on the cheek. Both cheeks when Maura was feeling cosmopolitan. But never quite on the mouth. Circling, perhaps, drawing closer every time. But Jane, emboldened by her near loss of something incredibly important, went for it, pressing her lips to the soft mouth she watched so often, feeling Maura open up to her, hearing Maura's purse drop to the floor.

"You taste terrible," Maura said when Jane pulled away. Her face and chest were flushed, and her hand was on Jane's ass under the towel.

"I taste like Marmite," Jane said, quirking her eyebrow and leaning in again.

---

Casey always maintained that Jane had broken up with him over a stupid jar of Marmite, but Jane knew that she had a good reason. The best reason.

She had Maura.