#anyway if anyone has any advice on how to get more involved with the community that'd be welcome

[e1ectrostatic]

i’d like to make an effort to get more involved in the fictionkin community, but the current climate of it is very confusing to me not gonna lie, particularly with the rise of the idea that a “kin” is a character you strongly relate to and nothing else

sometimes (especially on twitter) i see people claim being fictionkin has always meant just relating to the character, or having a deep connection, or even just Really Liking the character, but as far as i remember, that’s a really recent thing. like, i haven’t been too active in the fictkin community (yet), but i can’t recall that ever being a prevalent idea in years past. i’m still so used to fictionkin being a really niche concept, but now that it’s gained more popular attention on the internet, all sorts of new definitions and usages of terms have popped up

as a consequence, finding other fictionkin online has become a lot harder. these days, if i see someone say they’re kin with a character (or more commonly, they “kin a character”), i legitimately don’t know what they mean. are they like me? or would they think i’m “taking things too seriously”?

which takes me to another thing, the rise of misinformation on what it means to be fictionkin started a whole new wave of ostracizing and armchair diagnosing. i see people who are more familiar with the popular definition of fictionkinkin treat people whose experiences fit the original definition as if they’re weird or just straight up act ableist towards them. i see things like “it’s not that deep”, or “they’re taking it too far”. i even see people try to claim being fictionkin in the og way is inherently something you should seek mental help for, and i can’t really say anything about that other than what the fuck. i was used to people on the outside talking about us like that, but i definitely didn’t expect it to come from inside the house

AND LIKE i don’t wanna sound gatekeepy, not one bit. i hate it when people try to nitpick and dictate how things should be for everybody, but this shift in language is a special case because it’s now actively harder to engage with an already fringe community. i can’t think of any pros to it, plus there are and have always been other terms that could fit the “mainstream kin” experience. like otherhearted, or otherlink, or synpath, to name only a few. i’m sure anyone with common sense agrees this way of expression is completely valid and has its place in the community when done in good faith. it’s just that the rampant misinformation and misuse of terminology (not to mention the horrible toxicity) is actively pushing us out of our own spaces

anyway i dont know where to go with this, its just a little diary entry. shoutout to fellow fictionkin (or any otherkin) in the trenches, i hope someday the misinformation stops and people learn to be a little kinder

[rotandguts]

✶ ┄ DRIVING IN CARS WITH BOYS

danny (evil dead rise) x fem!reader

summary: a workplace camaraderie spurs a string of late night drives with danny, each one bringing you closer to realising your feelings for one another.

word count: 8.3k

warnings: 18+ mdni, nsfw, semi-public sex, car sex, oral (m receiving), masturbation (f receiving), lowkey sexting lol, degradation if u squint tbh, mention of masturbation (m), DANNY IS 18+

A/N: okay so, i’ve just want to discuss how i’ve written danny but i just want to emphasise that i don’t want to erase the fact that he’s literally trans. i don’t have enough expertise writing from a trans point of view imo as i’m a cis female and i don’t want it to be offensive or tacky in anyway. so for this purpose i’ve just written danny as having a dick but i know how difficult it is for the trans community, especially trans youths and those with low income to receive certain types of gender affirming surgery and don’t want to just dismiss that. i hope that’s okay with everyone if anyone has any advice or anything lemme know!

publishing date ―  may 22nd, 2023 |  © rotandguts

✶

When Danny first got his licence, he took any chance he got to drive the family’s Buick Roadsmaster. While not as impressive as some of the vehicles his classmates had, the fact he was even able to access a car with the income his family possessed was enough for him. It also explained why he was still living with his mom while attending college.

To help his mother he’d taken to working at the local Henrietta’s pizza joint, making enough to just make ends meet. In combination with whatever DJing side gigs he could get, he was slowly starting to save up. Aside from monetary gain, the part time job also gave him a new social life. Everyone who worked there was a little older, working to save during college like himself. It gave him the chance to speak to others in a space away from class, and the job itself was pretty easy anyway - due to his ability to drive he’d get sent out on deliveries most of the time.

Normally he’d be fine with this, getting paid hourly plus keeping the tips he got from going door to door (minus the occasional inconvenience from a few annoying assholes or prank calls). But he started to actually miss joking around in the kitchen or front desk with his co-workers. Danny was by no means unpopular, he had his own small friendship group from high school that kept him steady, but meeting new people he genuinely got along with was nice.  He was generally of a shy disposition, not one to reach out to others naturally, but a fiercely proud friend when you got to know him.

One person he began to miss in particular, was you. He’d recognised you from a few of his old high school classes, more on the quiet side like himself, usually folded over scribbling into your textbook. You were the only other person around his age working in Henrietta’s. He remembered that in school you kept to yourself but had plenty of friends on the committees you were on. Danny had remembered you were involved from an assembly talking about yearbook and prom committee, he thinks. He only attended after being threatened with detention if he skipped out to smoke under the bleachers with his friends. At work, you were the most talkative person there. He could tell how you had easily adapted in the extracurricular groups you were a part of from that skill alone.

Danny couldn’t really say he had ever tried to talk to you in school before, but when you both got to talking you would later admit that you hadn’t really made an effort to approach him either.

You had been working at Henrietta’s for similar reasons as Danny, you had initially joined in high school to save money to support yourself in college. After working there the past few years now, you’d seen classmates from both high school and college come and go but never really struck up a true friendship with them other than a wave or smile in the school hallways. All the other long term workers were post-graduates unable to put their diplomas to use and while it was handy for getting invited to college parties - you certainly felt a disconnect.

But then there was Danny.

Shy, kind, attractive Danny. You would be lying if you said you’d never noticed him in school. He was that one quiet cool kid that everyone just kind of liked. Good taste in music, if you could remember correctly. As soon as you got home from your first shift together you’d made sure to stalk all of his socials, he was kind of artsy - not quite goth but not quite full blown skater boy. He was rarely seen on his own Instagram, instead filling with pictures of his friends or gigs he’d been to. You bit your lip, growing only more curious about the blonde boy, head filling with speculation about his taste in romantic partners or what he’d be like behind closed doors.

You remembered the first day he’d walked in with the hairstyle he sported so casually now. He wore it so well compared to the dark brown mop he used to have. You’d never really noticed the boys or girls in your class before as being particularly attractive, but Danny walking in with that haircut and his new skater-ish look was like a breath of fresh air.  

This bubbling attraction was never indicated or acted upon until both of you were on kitchen duty during a quiet Sunday night shift. Danny had found that you liked to playfully bicker, it was like vocal tennis to you. Each of you began to find things to make the other flustered, never hitting too below the belt.

Both of you had been tiptoeing on a dangerous line, comments almost falling into uncharted territory. Running out of options to make him squirm, you turned around and admitted, “I actually remember when you came into class with that mullet for the first time. I thought it was super hot.” He froze, not sure how to respond. Were you actually flirting with him? Was this just part of the joke? Instinctively running his hands through his hair, he thought of a quick response.

“Thanks, I guess. Yeah, I liked when you had streaks in your hair.” You had briefly followed the TikTok trend coming back to high school after lockdown, two platinum blonde streaks framing your face. You raised your eyebrows. “Daniel! You’re like, totally obsessed with me!” You giggled, tucking hair behind your ear. Danny, blushing, shrugged and diverted his eyes to the task at hand.

“I could literally say the same for you. Still think my hair is super hot?” He smirked, looking up at her across the small divide of the work station. “Yeah, I do.” She smiled back.

From here, a light flirtation began to intertwine with the duo’s constant bickering, quickly leading to them becoming close. Their co-workers had begun to notice that they’d swap shifts in order to be together, not that either of them would admit that. As long as they were getting the work done, nobody cared. They were a dynamic duo in the workplace, known to close the building in record time and maintain high sales during quiet days. Slowly, you had both began to be left in charge of the store on a Sunday closing shift.

Naturally, he’d offer to give you a ride home. You didn’t live too far from him and if his mom had found out he’d left you alone to get a bus or walk home she would’ve killed him. It was a win-win, and he was always grateful for the time he spent with you alone. Along the way, there would occasionally be a late night detour to McDonalds or whatever fast food place that would be open at the time, both of you sick of pizzas after long shifts spent in the kitchen.

In the parking lot within the safe confines of the family car, you’d gossip about classmates and co-workers and sing loud to your heart's content to whatever CDs he had lying around. Sometimes he’d play his new mixes for you, eager to hear your thoughts. One night after playing you his newest mix, nervously playing with the clutch, you placed your hand on top of his.

“I really appreciate you playing me these by the way. Like genuinely, I really like them.” You smiled, and he smiled back. It was no secret that he was very shy about playing others his music, the only time it felt natural was when he did do a DJ gig somewhere (thanks to the fake ID his aunt Beth got him). He was desperate to play it cool, but his hands clammy at your touch indicated otherwise.

“Thanks man.” He started the ignition, leading you to jump slightly and remove your hand. He could still feel the ghost of it when he began to drive away, willing you to place it back again. But the soft feeling of your palm never returned.

“Really… Thanks for everything, Dan. It means a lot to me.” You continued, your eyes on the road now like his should have been, only distracted so he could take short discreet glances at you. “I’m glad we met.”

“What was that?” He teased, pretending not to hear her. She lightly nudged him, “Har-har, very funny.”

“Yeah whatever. Really glad you’ve become my passenger princess,” You turn around to look at him through eyelashes, head pressed against the headrest. You couldn’t help but note how good he looked with the dimmed lighting of the street lights at night.

“The only reason I keep you around is ‘cause you keep leaving your shit in the car all the time, so I have to hang around you ‘cause my mom gets pissy that all this random junk is here.” Danny begins to joke around, picking up a lip gloss you’d left a few shifts ago. “Shit! I was looking for that!” You grabbed it off him, pulling the mirror down to apply it. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, jokingly.

By the time you got to your door, you almost didn't want to leave the car. A lingering thick silence grew and every small creak or sound the car would make emphasised it even further. Despite all these late night car rides or the occasional video call, you barely spoke during the day. It wasn’t like you were purposefully avoiding each other, you were doing different majors and had classes spread across the campus. Nonetheless, you found yourself missing his company.

“I really really meant what I said, Danny.” You promised, “Not teasing you, I promise.”

A faint smile on his lips, he replied “I know.” Silence again for a moment.

“I like teasing you.” He’d said it so quietly you didn’t even know if you’d heard him correctly. His eyes shifted to your figure, your own eyes now glued to the view of the dark empty street from the windshield. You could feel your chest growing heavier, and the burn rising to your cheeks. He continued, “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Without thinking, you turned to look at him again. “Yeah, you too Daniel.” You parted from him with a light smack to his arm.

Getting out the car, you sped to your front door. You were dying to turn around to catch his reaction, he always did such a good job of appearing so stoic and then crumbling at the very last moment at any sort of praise sent his way. As much as you tried to resist it, you couldn’t help but glance back at the boy. He was watching you from the car window, rosy cheeked and eyes hopeful.

But you couldn’t just leave him with that. As much as you desperately wanted to appear cool and mysterious, there was a part of you that clung to any interaction with him you could get. It’s what made you both so reluctant to hang up on each other during the occasional late night video call, only thwarted by Ellie politely reminding Danny he was keeping the other members of the household awake with his laughter.

Running back to the car trying not to trip over your own two feet, you hoped he couldn’t sense your own nervousness. You bang on the window, with Danny already in the process of rolling it down.

Air cold and still, lights dim.

“Thanks for the ride.” Leaning in, you pressed your glossy lips earnestly to his warm cheek. For a moment as you pulled away slowly, you could feel how close your faces were to each other. His breath on your face, you waited for anything to happen. “Y-yeah, no worries man.” Rushing back to your home, you couldn’t tell if you’d accomplished your goal or not. On one hand, he was flustered - it was obvious. But on the other, you’d almost wished he’d done something, anything, to keep you talking to him.

A few days went by with you beginning to narrowly miss each other at work, he would finish as you started or likewise. You hoped it wasn’t purposeful, although you’d admit that you hadn’t bothered to change any of your shifts since that night.

Legs hanging off the bed, you had been relaxing after a long day of kind-of studying. The fact you’d bothered to get the textbook out at all had seemed like a cause for celebration for you. Toying with the thought of teasing Dan via text, you were surprised to find the boy had already texted you.

DANNY

outside.

(sent at 23:04)

now

(sent at 23:05)

Alert, you stumbled your way to your bedroom window, legs still half dead from just lying around. And there it was, the trusty family Buick parked right outside. You could see his arm hanging from the window, fingers strumming something onto the car door. Those fingers had been thought about many times when Danny was on your mind. Long and kind of skinny, you imagined how they looked on the record decks he spent so much of his free time over.

Spinning the record, a single digit softly pressing down on the smooth ridge. How did he control them? Was he soft when he did it? Did he tug the record ever so slightly? Was he a little messy with his strokes? How much pressure did he apply? Did the rhythm depend on the listener?

This was going too far. And plus, you were keeping him waiting.

“Hurry the fuck up, I’m starving bro.” He whined as soon as your figure appeared in your front doorway.

“I ate already Dan,” Still searching for an explanation.

“Okay? Damn, you can watch me eat then! Just hurry up!” He nudged the horn, causing you to both jump. “I didn’t think that would be enough pressure to be honest, that kinda scared me too.” He admitted.

He was a little rough, you thought. Good to know.

“Why the fuck are you here, dumbass? I’ve got class in the morning.” You folded your arms, still not making any effort to get in the vehicle.

“I miss you, obviously.” He shrugged, as if it really was the most obvious thing in the world. It was like you could hear your heart ping inside you when he said that. You were starting to hate the recent way he’d been making you feel. He was certainly winning the teasing game.

You rolled your eyes, you were going to fight for this. “Danny, if you want to fuck me that badly you just need to ask.”

“Fuck off, I’m starving. I thought you loved me.” He pouted. Damn, he was good. Maybe this was all it was to him really, just a game. Maybe this is how he’s trying to set boundaries to imply you should just be platonic. Secretly, you hoped he wasn’t.

You huffed, “Fine.” And now both of you were driving to god knows what fast food place.

“Is your mom not pissed at you just taking the car all the time?” He shrugged off the question. “As long as I’m paying for the gas, she doesn’t care.” You hadn’t actually met her, despite hearing stories about her.

“Does she get annoyed at you coming home so late?” You were lightly prodding, not necessarily to simply tease but just to get a better picture of what it was like for him. He seemed once again unbothered when he responded, “I’m really good at staying quiet.”

“Aren’t you meant to be a DJ?”

“Yeah, but I guess I’ve had practice in other ways.”

What. The. Fuck.

Respectfully, you didn’t know what to do with that information.

“Gross, I don’t need to hear about all that.” You lightly hit his shoulder, almost frowning selfishly when he didn’t even take his eyes off the road.

“Hear about what?” He feigns ignorance, but you swear you can see a flicker of a smirk on his mouth. “Your sex life, Daniel!”

“Woah woah woah - I never said anything about sex! That’s just all your perverted thoughts, assuming the worst in me.” There it is, there’s that smirk he was so desperate to hide. You try to fight it with an eye roll.

“Dick.”

“God, penis on the goddamned brain! You’re so fuckin’ filthy, babe.” He was obviously joking and yet there was something there that had you squirming in the car seat. “Shut up. You win tonight.” His face warms up at your comment, you can’t find it in your heart to truly hate him for it. Your comment only happened to foreshadow what was to come.

By the time Danny gets and finishes his food, you’re both sitting in silence in some darkened car park. This is no different from the usual after work trips, but something really seems different in the air.

The silence was peaceful, almost kind of soothing. For a second, it felt like you two might be the only two people left at the end of the world. Of course, this wasn’t the apocalypse and the biggest hurdle in your life at the moment was the internal battle with your feelings for the boy seated beside you.

His hands were still gripping the steering wheel but the car was in a static standstill. You hoped he was just as nervous as you were.

“I’ve been thinking about what you were saying, by the way.” He finally spoke, causing your head to turn to him.

“I say a lot of things, Dan. Gonna have to be more specific.” A smug smile greeting him when he turned around to meet your waiting eyes. He sent a blank look your way, taken out of context it would’ve seemed like he was actually fed up with you.

“Like, the whole spending time with you thing. I’m glad we met too.” You couldn’t help but bite your lip, looking at him through long lashes, an almost siren’s gaze. “Danny, it seems like you’ve gone all soft on me.”

He almost cringed at your words. If there had been one thing that Danny had been when he’d been thinking about you recently it definitely wasn’t soft. He prayed that you weren’t secretly a mind reader, but you could tell you had prodded enough from the way the atmosphere shifted.

“I like going on these drives with you, it helps me clear my mind I guess.” Danny continued to play with the leather of the steering wheel. As bad as it sounds, he’d found a spot he could lightly rip up with his nails and it became his new fixation when he was fidgeting. “And I was maybe wondering if you’d like to go on more of them. With me… not just like after work or anything.” He stuttered, kind of scared to meet your gaze again. One thing he hated was how much you made him squirm. You had a specific talent for making him nervous, but at the same time the feeling was so addictive that he didn’t want you to stop.

“Is this like you asking me on a date?” Brows raised, your fingers fell to the hem of your shirt subconsciously doing the same fidgeting that Danny was performing in front of you.

“No! Not like, I don’t mean anything like pervy or that despite what I was, like, joking about-” He moved in defence, his hands raised as if to block her joke from reaching him.

“I’m fucking with you. You know I love our drives, they’re our drives.” You said it with such conviction that despite not really saying anything he completely understood what you meant. These little trips no matter how far they went felt special to them.

He softly chuckled, feeling like whatever barrier he’d been putting up was falling. “You’re obsessed with me.”

“Shut the fuck up, Danny.”

“It’s okay! I’m a little obsessed with you too! We can be mutually obsessed with each other - that’s how friendships work!” For a moment, you realised that maybe the way he spoke to you - the way you spoke to each other - was what kept you coming back to him. He was attractive, sure, but something was so free about the way you could speak around each other.

But also, god, he was so attractive.

He leaned back against the headrest, you took the time to appreciate his soft jaw. Those damn pink lips. As much as you’d been trying to not admit it you were desperate to feel them on your neck. There was nothing more you wanted right now than to lean over and kiss him with such ferocity that you’d both forget your own names.

You most definitely shouldn’t be feeling these ways. Aside from him being a friend, he was a co-worker. Relationships like that always ended so messily.

“I think I pity you actually, why do you have to stay so quiet, Dan? Couldn’t have been good if they didn’t even make you moan.”

“I didn’t say they couldn’t make me, I just said I was good at being quiet.” You both paused for a moment, where did you go from here? You could open Pandora's box, and let out whatever tension you’ve been feeling or you could stay within the safety of his friendship.

“Was hard for them to stay quiet though.” Your chest tightened, you felt like all of the air had disappeared in the car.

Holy shit.

“I’m sure they managed just fine.” Managing to choke out a swift comeback, trying to appear as sardonic as you possibly could. “Yeah, my hand sure helped.”

Another blow to the system. He was good at this.

He shifted, like he was preparing for his next hit. “You talk too much to be quiet, I think.” Another stab to your chest, screw him. You were going for the kill.

“Maybe I just need a helping hand.” Your eyes shifted to his own hands, still on the wheel. He’d noticed. He was coming for blood.

“That can be arranged, sweetheart.” If this was Mortal Kombat, his streak would be unreal. “I don’t think you’d be able to handle me.” You countered, you were ashamed to admit you were losing the fight. “I think I’m a little too wild for you, Dan.”

“Prove it.”

The killing blow.

If this was a film, this would be the part where you pounce on each other and fight for dominance with your tongues. But this is not a movie, and as passionate as that sounds, the thought of your tongue as some sort of roman gladiator kind of made you feel icky.

All you could do was respond with exhaling a breath you never realised you were holding, kind of amused. You tilted your head as if to say, ‘touché’.

And that was that.

He got you home safely as he would any other night, watching you as you entered the house. Through the peephole, you could see him linger for a moment staring at your door. He rested his head once again on the headrest, this time looking exasperated. Running a hand through his platinum hair, he started the engine and left.

Bed sheets twisted in hand, you weren’t proud to admit just how much of an effect his words had on you. But lying there, your fingers softly playing with your clit, you didn’t really feel guilty either. You thought once again of his own fingers on you, a little rough with you. The rhythm of them as they throbbed within you, he’d know exactly what tempo would ruin you.

Initially you were concerned about looking him in the eyes the next time you saw him, but when you got another good look at him that feeling quickly went away. He was intoxicating to be around. How were you this down bad for him?

The rides continued as normal, if not more frequently now. Always tiptoeing on the line between playful banter and the most delicious flirtation you’d ever partaken in was like whiplash. But you couldn’t stop.

Speculation about the other's sex life could be tried and tested, each playful answer given offering a thrilling image that would be used to fuel lonely fantasies behind bedroom doors.

After you had to travel to Oregon for a family emergency, contact with Danny again grew to a halt. It wasn’t like you were desperate to speak to him all the time but in the moments you weren’t busy, he was usually at work, in classes or looking after his sisters.

DANNY

miss u u massive fucking loser

(sent at 22:37)

YOU

die

(seen at 22:39)

miss you too

(seen at 22:39)

how is life without me?

(seen at 22:39)

DANNY

sucks

(sent at 22:39)

going to strangle bridget if she comes into my room one more time perhaps

(sent at 22:40)

as soon as ur back in the state ur getting ur cute little ass into my goddamn car and i am going drive u all around the city

(sent at 22:40)

YOU

that’s kidnapping?

(seen at 22:40)

DANNY

cry about it

(sent at 22:40)

what did u do today my beloved?

(sent at 22:41)

YOU

shopped for lingerie

(seen at 22:41)

It hadn’t been a lie, you had visited the local mall and picked up some stuff - some of it had just happened to be nice underwear.

DANNY

HOT

(sent at 22:42)

send pics

(sent at 22:43)

There was a great potential here that you had to consider. Danny could literally just be joking, this wasn’t too far out of the things you usually teased each other with. But, at the same time you wondered if this would be a good way of getting back at him for making you squirm. Would you be crossing a line if you sent one or two unsuggestive pictures to him?

When the pictures were delivered, two of you in different sets of lingerie, he almost dropped his phone. You’d be the fucking death of him.

After a few minutes of no response but the screen indicating they had been seen, you began to panic. Fuck, what if this had all back fired? Were these unsolicited despite what he had said? Were you too dumb to read between the lines?

YOU

heyyyy you good lol

(sent at 22:52)

sorry if that was too much

(sent at 22:53)

Still a few more moments of no response. Until, both turned to (seen at 22:56).

DANNY

no sorry! i was helping my mom with make dinner

(sent at 22:56)

YOU

dinner at 11pm?

(seen at 22:57)

DANNY

we’re a hungry bunch

(sent at 23:00)

Biting your lip, all you could do right now so far away from seeing his actual reaction was take his word for it. Your phone pinged with a new notification.

DANNY sent a photo.

It was similar to what you’d sent, with him being shirtless and in his boxers. He’d taken it from a mirror, kneeling on the floor - tattoos on display. The things you would do right now to be in that room on your knees were unspeakable.

YOU

cold in there?

(seen at 23:02)

DANNY

freezing

(sent at 23:02)

need someone in new lingerie to come warm me up i guess

(sent at 23:03)

Initially, you typed out ‘good luck with that’ but paused before you hit send. You couldn’t just let this escape you anymore.

YOU

i’ll be home soon

(seen at 23:06)

After that, you could hardly wait to see him. None of your other chats after that quite reached that level of promiscuity. You were craving even more of him after seeing him like that. No longer did you need to imagine what he looked like under the uniform.

It wasn’t long until you were back in Los Angeles and already getting ready for him to come pick you up. You’d thrown on a cute white milkmaid summer dress, trying to look effortless despite you having the outfit planned for your return since that night you exchanged pictures. The new lingerie was incorporated as well, of course. Even if nothing came of all this, you were going to go out there knowing you looked damn good. A red cardigan was added on top, giving enough coverage for the hot LA nights.

You practically jumped into the car when he pulled up outside your house, shouting to nobody in particular that you would be out late tonight.

Cheshire cat-like grin on his face, just being beside him again made you remember just how much you missed him. “Hey,” He began, starting the ignition.

“Miss me?” You winked, hand softly playing with the back of his mullet for a moment as if you were greeting a pet. “You don’t know the half of it, babe.”

“Where are we heading for food?” You enquired, nothing had really been planned beyond just seeing each other. “Well actually, I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to mine for dinner tonight. My mom is working super late so, um, she invited you. Means we can still go on a drive til she gets home.”

Beaming, you immediately started nodding. “Oh my god, Danny! You’ve been talking to your mama about me.”

“Not like we spend most of our time with each other.”

“You’re obsessed! How long have I been saying this?” Smug assertion rolling off your tongue so easily, you realised you hadn’t actually answered the question. “Yeah, I’d love to come.” He smiled.

“Where are you thinking of going in the meantime?” You began to play with the hem of your dress, lifting it ever so slightly to expose more of your thigh. His eyes flickered to the new skin on show, thinking of you in those photos again. “Um, takeaway milkshakes in the park sound good?”

“Sounds great, actually.” And so off you went.

He picked strawberry, you picked vanilla. You were sitting in covered darkness, the overhead light of the car on to allow you to see one another. Sneaking glimpses of each other as you finished the drinks, giggling when you caught the other.

“What’s in Oregon?” He asks, all you’d been talking about up to that point was the workplace gossip you’d missed during your time away. You shrugged, “Parents are from there. I grew up there actually, I go back and forth occasionally.” You stopped to take a slurp of the sweet beverage.

“My great aunt is ill but its whatever. We’re not close or anything with that side of the family, it’s still sad I guess, but I don’t know. Just not like, to be a downer or anything, y’know?” The boy nodded beside her, “Yeah my mom’s family is kinda distant.”

You knew about his asshole dad disappearing. He spoke about him so little that you didn’t want to pry when he was obviously going through shit that didn’t really concern you. “Her mom, my grandma, she was kind of nuts.”

“Bummer. Fuckin’ stupid family shit, am I right?” You tried to lighten the mood. “Yeah, such a pain in the fucking ass.” He smiled. The mood had obviously taken a nosedive, so you attempted to liven it up a bit.

“I actually lost my virginity in Oregon a few years back.” Hand filing through your hair to push it back from your face, you shook your head. “Was like this stupid guy that knew my cousins. It was terrible.”

“I think I’ve got you beat, mine was in the bathroom at some random gig I went to with a girl from school. We never spoke after it.” Your face dropped, evidently feeling sorry for him. “Don’t feel sorry for me, man, neither of us were feeling it.”

“Wow, I don’t even know where the weirdest place I’ve had sex is, honestly.” Thinking through the few escapades you had partaken in, you realised most had been in homes when parents were out.

“That gig one was probably mine. Actually, I got a blowjob under the bleachers in senior year once, that shit was crazy.” Jealousy struck through your heart, who gave him it? He answered the question for you, “It was Brenda Glemmer.”

That bitch.

“Wow, someone’s jealous.” You hadn’t realised that you’d involuntarily said that last part out loud. “She was a dick to me, my hatred is not blowjob related.” Failing to convince him, he rested a hand on your shoulder in comfort. “Sure thing, babe.”

Rolling your eyes, you suddenly remembered your craziest experience of all. “Actually, I think I have you beat! I once got ate out in a graveyard!”

“Jesus christ, I’m not at all surprised you give such goth gf vibes.” He smirked, finishing his milkshake. “God, what I would’ve given to be that guy.”

Cheeks heated, “Fuck you!” You exclaimed.

“Not if I fuck you first!” That earned a smack and more giggling. He continued, “I knew you were into kinky shit like that.” But when the giggling died down, the deep wanting returned.

“Ever had sex in this car before?” You found yourself staring out into the blackness of the park, your heart beating the fastest you thought it may have ever beaten.

“No, can’t say I have.” His hands are clutching the wheel again. “Thought about it, though.”

“Oh really?” You were on full autopilot mode now, the words exiting your mouth only coming out as an act of self preservation in case you pass out from nervousness.

“You know I’ve thought about it.”

You turn to look at him, and there he was, already waiting for you. “You really should do something about it then.”

“Maybe I’m worried the girl I like doesn’t want it like I want it.”

“I think she needs it more than she needs to fucking breathe, Danny.”

And that was that.

Lips desperately pressed to one another, needy to taste what you had been anticipating for months now. His face was just as warm as yours, the heat only adding to the feverish feeling.

You tasted like vanilla and sweetness, like sunset and cinnamon. Your hands knotting with his hair, he begged you to tug on it with a groan, you had to comply. It had been a while since you had last kissed anyone, but none had ever even come close to this. Laced with absolute desire and greed from both sides, taking whatever you could both get after wanting it so badly for so long.

His hands began to gently pull the cardigan from your shoulders, throwing it to the backseat before dipping his fingers under the straps of your dress. It was here, unfortunately, you had to stop him.

“Nuh-uh, not here. Too creepy.” You bit your lip, worried that you were out of options.

“I think I know a place.”

Hastily reversing, he sped off in the direction of his own apartment building. The underground carpark often lay abandoned after around 10pm, leaving it an ideal place for a potential late night escapade. His mom would get a ride to the front of the building, meaning if she did come home there would hopefully be zero crossover, especially with him having the remote with him in the glove compartment.  

Right hand dropping to rest on your thigh, you couldn’t help but notice how good he looked with one hand on the wheel, brows furrowed in concentration.

For a moment, it was like neither of you really knew what you were going to do when you got there. You were kind of spoiled for choice, not really ever having a place to yourselves with you both still living with parents. This car granted multiple opportunities - or as Danny was thinking, interesting positions. He needed to try them all.

You could feel your arousal pooling beneath you, while Danny continued through the traffic, you crossed your legs over and began to grind your thighs together for temporary relief. Eyes flicking from the road to your sexually frustrated figure. Slowly, opening your legs ever so slightly, he holds the hem of your dress and lifts it back, exposing the underwear. He recognised it immediately, licking his lips.

“You’re fuckin’ bad.” You smirked at his words, “Like it?”. You feign innocence, twirling a strand of hair with your finger.

Danny groans, moving the hand from your thigh to brush his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, really, really like it.” His fingers go back to trace along your entrance, underwear soaked already. You couldn’t even feel embarrassed, not when the fingers you had been imagining on you for so long were touching you like this.

Your hand hovers over his own, and you press his digits into your cunt. You emit a dark sigh, a noise that makes Danny want to pull over and fuck you on the sidewalk out in the open. Guiding his hand against you, working you up into the unspeakable rhythm, you begin to knead your breast with your other hand. Feeling delirious with goosebumps growing on your skin, you lean forward to press kisses against his neck. Tongue flicking under his silver chain that you’ve been dying to taste for so long. “Stop distracting me,” He groans, without doing anything to stop you.

He was pushing a little harder on the peddle, doing everything in his power to not get lost in the view of your cleavage, knuckles white wrapped around the wheel.

After what felt like a lifetime, the car pulled into the darkened garage. He fumbled with the remote, almost dropping it in a rapid attempt to press the button. The buzz of the gate finally indicated, the shutter lifting.  With that, you guessed your fate was sealed.

Danny made sure to park in the far back, if anyone did come down here they would hopefully have a hard time noticing the pair.

As soon as the keys were turned, Danny was pulling you into his lap. You started to rock your hips on him, not applying too much pressure in a further attempt to torment him.

“Too scared to take me upstairs to meet mommy right now?” You teased, running your hands through his hair. He made no effort to hide how much pleasure the sensation was giving him. “Just absolutely desperate to fuck you right now, if I’m being honest.” He was almost breathless, struggling to get the words out with you grinding on him the way you were.

You smirked, his right hand travelling from your hips, to your breast, to your neck. “So, so pretty.”

You stopped him, desperate to ask him a question that had been playing on your mind since it happened. “Were you really helping your mom with dinner when I sent those pictures?”

“Fuck no, they were saved to my camera roll the second they came through.” You scoffed. “I fucking knew it!”

“Yeah, yeah. As if it was hard.” He holds your hips down onto his own and for the first time you feel the thickness under you. Both of you breathing wildly, grinding into each other, knowing there's still far more to even come. It was exhilarating.

“I think I know something else that might be really hard right now.” Here you were, working yourself up on his lap. You were sure your wetness had soaked through his shorts. “Wonder whose fault that is?”

Your lips were back on his, and immediately it was like another hit of the most powerful drug. The way he moved with you, his grip on you was egging you on even more. You wanted to be so bad for him.

His fingers once again fell to your underwear, pushing them aside to feel just how wet you really were. “Fuck.” He murmured, beginning to rub his thumb over your clit. “Danny,” You moaned in retaliation.

Without warning, he sunk his middle and index fingers into you. Slowly pulsating inside you, you gasp for air. Falling back and-

BEEEEEEEP

The sound of you pressing against the wheel causes you both to jump, but also causes Danny’s fingers to go further inside you - leading to another moan.

You both giggle, not stopping with the new depth and pace as we works up into you. “I seriously need to stop doing that.” You fall against him, forehead placed against the other. “Wanted to feel you for so long.” He mumbles.

“Mhmm?” You were in too much bliss to properly respond as he nodded, “Feels good?” You nodded in return. He starts to suck on your neck, biting the areas you react the most to. You thought this feeling of closeness was unobtainable, yet here you were with him.

Pressing a light kiss, you whine when he removes his fingers from beneath you. He lifts his index to his mouth, licking it. “You taste fucking amazing,” Danny smiles at your wide eyes. “You want a taste?” Again, you nod. He places the two fingers in your own mouth. “Suck, baby.” He commands you and you follow without hesitation. His jaw goes slack at the sight of your sucking his fingers, tongue making little circles around his fingertips to show what you’re capable of.

Letting them go, you mumble, “I think I wanna go in the back seat, Dan.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, wanna taste your cock.” Well, that’ll do it. You’re practically launched backwards through the small gap to get to the back of the car. Danny instead swings the driver side door open, ejecting the chair forward and climbs in on top of you. Pinning you down, you reach for his dick as his hands grip your waist. Kissing you with a ferocity somehow not even present in the kisses from before, he presses you against him.

Pulling away to gasp for air, with your help Danny yanks his sweater and baggy t-shirt off in one fell swoop. His shorts get thrown on the floor, leaving him in his boxers. He reaches for the zip of your dress, pulling the straps down and ripping it off your body right from under you. “I’ve been thinking about you in this everyday since you sent me that picture.” He plays with the straps of bra, noses touching and breath light on your face. His soft eyes on your figure, taking a moment to take it all in.

“Well, maybe three times a day.” You softly smack his chest as you fall into him, giggling as he plays with the hooks at the back. You shake the bra off and reach for your underwear, leaving you totally exposed. Danny, giving a second to take in the view of your naked body, pulls down the waistband of his underwear. From the immediate sight of his cock, precum dripping from the tip, you’re compelled to lick it.

On your knees beside him in the back seat, you lick a stripe up the length of him before taking him in your mouth. You stay like this, head bobbing as he grabs a chunk of your hair and gently guides you with the other hand on your head. With a little difficulty, you look up at him, his head thrown back on the headrest and his mouth stuck in the shape of an ‘O’.

“Stop, stop. Fuck, c’mere.” He picks your torso up by your arms and guides your lips back to his, before pulling your legs over so you’re now straddling him.

Rubbing his length against your clit, he begins to suck on more bare spaces around your neck and chest. You hold his head as you rock into him.

“Danny, I can’t- I need to feel you now.” He nods hastily, and positions himself under you.

You lower yourself onto him, letting out a guttural moan at the feeling of him filling you. You wrap yourself around him as he grits his teeth, holding your hips as you start to ride him.

Face buried in his neck, you whimper as you set a steady pace, fingers twisted tightly in that blonde mullet you loved so much. Your knees dig into the seat, you can feel yourself coming undone.

He rips your head from the crevice, getting a good look at you as he starts to take the lead and rolls up into you.

“Such a pretty baby,” His hand wraps around your jaw, squeezing your cheeks. The hand drops to your neck, as his other wraps around your thigh, giving more guidance. “Keep talking,” You struggle out, fucking yourself into him at this point. By this point the windows are fogged and you’re sure the car is rocking by now.

Your fingers wrap around his hand on your neck, begging him to hold it a little tighter, a little rougher. He tuts, before connecting his hand to your backside with a loud smack.

“You’re fuckin filthy, you know that?”

“Yes, yes, Danny, fuck!”

“Fuck, you’re better than anything I ever imagined.” With two taps to your waist, you both stop. You’re evidently growing weaker, all fucked out on his dick. He flips you around so your back is lying on the seat. You’re all sprawled out in front of him, hair kind of crazy, but he swears to god he’s never been more attracted to any human being ever.

He presses himself down on top of you, balancing his weight so you’re not crushed but something feels so intimate about the way he’s on you.

Smiling again, he plants out of time kisses onto your lips whenever he can. Forearm above your head to keep him balanced, palm lovingly on your crown to support you. His eyes watching your face closely, this was it. Fuck, this was really it.

The feeling that could only be explained as a tidal wave of wet hot rising, Danny’s pace guiding it to where it needed to go.

“I’m gonna, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He whimpers, picking up his pace while still visibly shaking. You pull his forehead down to yours as he continues to work his hips into you. Your thighs are holstered far above his hips, offering a perfect angle for you both. The feeling of him filling you up was enough to send you over the edge.

“Dan, shit, me too.”

“C’mon baby, needed this for so long. It’s always been you.” With those finishing words, you couldn’t hold back any longer. Body shaking with the orgasm rippling through you, Danny beginning to come down from his own.

For a while, you both sat in the corners of the back seat, as if you were boxers in a ring. Your eyes stayed trained on each other’s bodies as you caught your breaths.

You crawl over to him, finally resting in the space between his legs as his arms wrap around your body.

“Do you think it would be awkward if I could stay the night?” You finally announced. You turned to face him. “It wouldn’t be, like, weird if we slept in the same bed, right?”

“My dick was literally just inside you.” His palm resting on your jaw, lovingly stroking his thumb over your cheek. “And? Maybe you hated it!” He shook his head, “That was the best thing I’ve probably ever experienced in my life.” He left a kiss on your jaw, where the ghost of his fingers still lingered.

His mom probably would be fine with her staying as well, seeing as she wasn’t really judgy with the whole boy and girl sleepover thing.

“Just a fair warning, my sisters are a fuckin’ pain in the ass.” He shook you off him, beginning to locate both of your scattered clothing and collect yourselves. “That’s cool. I’m excited to meet them.”

For a second, he watched you get ready, still eyeing your body. Your neck and chest were covered in purple markings left by him. He smiled wistfully, appreciating his work along with your figure. You clocked him watching and rolled your eyes, “Perv.”

“You’re cute.” He skimmed his hands over each one, as if it was the world’s most abstract dot-to-dot puzzle. You realised just how many hickies covered you. “Fuckin’ asshole.” Before he could grab it, you snatched his sweatshirt from beside him, offering you more coverage than your cardigan would allow. “How the hell am I gonna cover these up when I see your mom?” Danny shrugged once again, still finding the whole situation amusing and honestly, kinda hot.

“Just say it’s a birthmark,” He began to press soft kisses on each hickey. “Or maybe I’ll just have to keep one hand around your neck at all times.” You lightly smacked him, but it didn’t deter him from the task at hand. Your gaze softened, lifting his chin up so you were both eye to eye.

“So obsessed, huh?” He nodded at your words, stealing another kiss from your lips. You’d let him take as much as he wanted of you. “You know it.” And another, and another, until he was kissing every inch of your face as you tried to bat him away.

Leaning into his ear you whisper, “Maybe later, you can show me just how quiet you can be?” He almost growls at your statement, you press a finger to his lips. The promise of more to come was exhilarating to the both of you. He parts with a soft bite to your neck, softer than the ones offered earlier.

He held your hand all the way to the apartment, and in the elevator you nestled into his neck. The feeling of him, his scent, so strong all around you was enough to make you totally intoxicated with the mere thought of him. Looking up, you catch him looking down at you, soft smile playing on his lips.

Yeah, you could get used to this.

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 21 thoughts:

Well that was sure a turn around from last arc's "I'm going to rally the students so I don't get captured."

I know my daughter has made some . . . mistakes, but I'm not a fan of her turning herself into the openly corrupted and also bad at their job parahuman cops.

(Parahuman cops as in "cops who police parahumans" not "cops who are parahumans")

Like look, I get it. A precog told her to cut ties. I can't say it's wrong to follow that advice. But she could do that in a lot of ways that don't involve the PRT.

The second not from Dinah just being "I'm sorry" is brutal.

But before she can turn herself in she has to absolutely fucking crush the PRT/Protectorate for outing her civilian identity.

I love how fucking simple taking out the entire PRT headquarters was for Skitter and her girlfriends!

Who needs anyone else? Bitch brings muscle, Tattletale brings information, Skitter brings battlefield control. Lesbian polycule power activate!

Was it an overboard response? Maybe. Was it badass how she just took out so many heroes and PRT troops with ease? Yes.

Poor Dovetail has one of the most embarrassing introductions ever. First time we see her and Skitter is wiping the floor with her and thinking about her "crummy power".

God I hate Tagg so much that he makes me miss Piggot. Like she was absolutely terrible, but he's worse! And making me miss Piggot makes me hate Tagg even more!

Kindly old cemetery groundskeeper who doesn't pay much attention to the news! Never a bad trope.

They gave Butcher 15 to Cherish???!? Like sure they give all the reasoning for it but like ... it just seems like a really high risk situation. If she ever gets out it's going to suck. A lot.

THE SCENE AT RACHEL'S PLACE OH MY GOD!

SHE IS BUILDING A COMMUNITY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

Rachel just over here finding everyone like her and giving them a place. Legit crying. Look at that fucking growth!

(Also shout-out to my wife for having basically done the same thing. It's how I met her. It's how I met one of my girlfriends. And so many other important people. So ya. I fucking love this.)

Also you ever like a girl so much you try to give her an entire planet? Cause Taylor sure has.

"Rachel I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone so you can basically have this whole other planet we found."

GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Imp let Regent take control of her . . . welp. Like, I'm not really surprised by this. And in a different situation I wouldn't even really find it that weird. I'd do it with the right person. But combination of age and the situation they are in and Regent being Regent annnnnd ya. Welp.

I did love how much of the interactions between Skitter and Regent/Imp really was just her struggling with parenting two teenage supervillains.

IT'S NOT SO EASY, IS IT CHILD?!? MAYBE YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK AND LISTEN TO MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE!

(She won't)

I fucking LOVE that she made the bible themed hero kneel. Absolutely fucking amazing.

Oh shiiit, Skitter just flat dropped that guy multiple stories. Is she going to far?

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

Damn, Valefor sure has some fucked up powers, I wonder what they're gonna do abou-

. . .

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

. . .

Yep.

. . .

. . . I think I preferred when she just used a knife.

So anyway

Not a fan of Taylor having more alone time with Brian (not because I have any issue with the idea, but because I think she needs to be focusing on her girlfriends), but I am a fan of her using bugs to clean her dress and fix her hair afterwords while Brian just kinda sits there and has to contemplate what he has gotten himself into. Queen shit.

Flechette was SO mad that Parian wasn't "cute" anymore, I couldn't stop laughing. Sure, she said "You had to take the playfulness away? The joy?" but we all know what she meant. Of course, it's won't take very long for the new costume to get Flechette's attention. (I have to mention that this is basically exactly what I said when reading the scene, and the interlude a few chapters later just proved me right.)

Flechette is just so hopelessly gay

Miss Militia is actually getting very mild respect from me right now. Like, she's still working for the cops but she is actually agreeing to silently push against some things. Now, she says she doesn't have more power then that but she is a very well known hero and if she would publicly speak out about certain things there is a decent chance she could do more. That would of course be putting her position at risk though. Which is why she only gets very mild respect right now.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST GET TO SEE TATTLETALE'S MURDER WALL, I GOT TO SEE HER ENTIRE MURDER ROOM!

Fucking multiple bulletin boards with threads connecting them. Everything color coded. Reference numbers to files with more details. Multiple TV screens, computer with constant information dump. God. It's like a literal representation of the inside of my mind while I read Worm. SO MANY THINGS TO FIGURE OUT!

I love a lot of characters, but Tattletale always stays near the top. She gets me.

And from the fucking joy of getting to see that setup I come crashing the fuck down.

Like, I have completely figured out at this point that Skitter is turning herself in. I know what is coming. She's had her moment with everyone else and Tattletale is the last one.

And then. Then just . .

No goodbyes.

😭😭😭😭😭

HOW DARE THIS BOOK MAKE ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS!! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!

I do find it hysterical that the PRT officers working the front lobby don't all recognize Skitter on sight. Fucking gas station employees will manage to keep track of people with pictures on the "bad check" board, you'd think the PRT could manage to have their officers keep track of the face of one of the most well know villains in the country, if not the world, who also controls their city. PRT is forever bad at their job.

That one guy did notice her eventually though, so I guess he gets to be employee of the month.

The Number Man interlude thoughts:

The inside of this mans mind is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen and the constant reminder of the horrible things he is helping Cauldron do to all their prisoners was very helpful because it was the only thing keeping me from deciding that The Number Man is a perfect soul that can do no wrong.

I have no illusions here. I am weak. This man is a monster and I should not have any trouble remembering that.

But fuck shit fuck oh god fuck I don't even need him to touch me. I just need him to TALK to me. I just need him to get high with me and let me pick apart how his mind works!

He understood numbers, and through them, he understood everything.

That line. Absolute killer. Fucking take me.

. . . anyway yes it's a very interesting interlude!

Loved seeing more of the inner workings of Cauldron

I very much want to see the final level of their basement that only the Doctor goes into because I said that I thought Cauldron had a dead (for values of dead that are non-definable) higher dimensional being in their basement back during arc 15 and now I know for sure that there is something down there. I wanna know if I was right!

Oh my god he was friends with Jack

"Friends"

Look I make everything gay ok? It's not my choice! Sure it means I get to enjoy every tiny bit of Wolfspider and Chatterbug cause I see all of it. But it also means I see the ships I don't want to think about!

I men what was I supposed to think when Jack said “We can live this. Together. Every waking second…”?

Gay

Parian interlude thoughts:

And speaking of gay!

Fucking Flechette just full blown "Fuck all of this I want you to tell me what to do for the rest of my life!"

Full U-Haul lesbian.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

This is Parian's new costume having an effect.

Just so gay. I love it.

Also Bitch just so fucking ready to break Skitter out. So fucking gay.

And the incredible loyalty, which is gonna hurt if she ends up feeling betrayed by Skitter.

Still gay though.

Tattletale, basically without powers, just completely giving Accord the "fuck off, we're in charge" was amazing. All she had to do was promise to consider his binders and he was all in. This poor man just wants somebody to read his ideas! He's like a aspiring screenwriter just begging people to read his script.

[lyinginbedmon]

Oh lordy is there bad things going down across the VTuber space right now so I’m gonna try and unpack them for ease of comprehension.

Real quick: A VTuber is essentially just a regular livestreamer but instead of a facecam they have a custom model (usually made of layered images but also often a full 3D object) that tracks their face and such. Big tiddy anime girl representation to say the least but it’s a very creative space.

Next: Silvervale, Silver for short. Silver is one such big tiddy anime (wolf) girl, who is part of a corporate group of VTubers called VShojo. I probably don’t need to describe much more for the purposes of this post.

Hogwarts Legacy is a video game based in the bigotry-entrenched universe of the Harry Potter franchise by notorious face-of-transphobia Joanne K. Rowling. Since its announcement in 2018, trans individuals and groups have quite rightly highlighted numerous ethical and moral problems with the game ranging from the inherent bigotry of the setting, to the involvement of literal far-right YouTubers in its development, to just the basic stuff like its success greenlighting further instalments all while Rowling pockets royalties to (expressly) further fund her anti-trans projects (which includes her writing Literally being read into record to quash things like the Equality Act).

The general advice, which would be true regardless of your actual thoughts on the game or franchise, was to just not play it. That way Rowling makes less money, fewer future games are made, and nobody gets hurt as a result. You end your day $60 better off that you can spend on some other big game that isn’t basically radioactive.

To say the Video Gamers did not take that advice well would be an understatement, but things get really ugly when a streamer who otherwise professes to creating a calm and friendly atmosphere, who makes claims to being an ally, gives in and plays the Wizard Game. I’m not going to say that people haven’t been harassed for playing it, almost certainly someone has, but I just don’t have the data to be certain that it goes much further than just posting “trans rights” in chat.

Enter Silvervale. Despite half a decade of advance warning that she shouldn’t play this game, she played it anyway. Live on camera. The community she’d fostered for years didn’t take this well either, and the stream ended early amid purported harassment from the chat. Silver wasn’t the first VTuber to play the Wizard Game, but she was one of the first English-speaking ones.

Things could have just quietly ended there, but Silver then returned to streaming with more of the game and a statement that she had been “harassed” by “freaks and degenerates” on Twitter. Not her best choice of words, but the damage was done.

Because of the 5-year leadup to the Wizard Game releasing, the right-wing mob had already noticed the controversy around it and had made Huge investments into buying and promoting the game as well as spewing vitriol against anyone who even slightly suggested that doing so was in poor taste. They naturally then flocked to Silver’s defense and, following her unfortunate description of “marginalised people making their discomfort known as they had declared they would Years in advance” using language straight from 1930s Germany, started directly attacking any streamer who voiced their intent not to play the game however detailed their reasoning.

As a brief aside, there’s some confusion over how Silver’s chat moderation is set up, seemingly blocking such phrases as “trans rights are human rights”. Some say it’s an overzealous automod, others that her moderators are actually blocking the phrases, it’s unclear and not hugely worth focusing on here. But I mention it because it’s one of the common points made as people state their side on this issue.

This has essentially made Silver the face of transphobic bigotry in the VTuber community, whether or not she actually considers herself aligned with such bigots. Multiple smaller and independent trans VTubers have completely stopped streaming because of the bile being spewed at them by people with the likes of #IStandWithSilver in their bios. The overlaps between accounts on social media posting in her defense and numerous far-right hate movements is as undeniable as it is unpleasant to catalogue.

And boy that’s just the foundation of this whole sorry affair.

Another VTuber who is part of the same company as Silver, VShojo, is Apricot (more commonly called Froot). Froot not only decided to vocally not play the Wizard Game, but to post a tweet saying that she would personally donate to UK trans children’s charity Mermaids for every like the tweet received. She added that her brother is trans and she supports him immensely.

So the bigots that leapt to Silver’s defense very predictably started calling Froot a paedophile and child groomer, which is more or less what they label every pro-trans individual ever these days. Froot had to lock replies on her charity post and her post about her brother as a result, though the tweets remain up.

Most recently, a third peer in VShojo called Ironmouse came to Silver’s defense specifically in opposition to the alleged harassment she received which, again, anyone could have seen coming in the last 5 years by googling the Steam page for this game.

And honestly, at this point, whatever actually happened to Silver in that first stream is completely irrelevant because she’s become the rallying cry of people who actively want to exterminate the entire trans community from cradle to grave and literally beyond. And so much of it could be resolved or at least get the wind out of its sails if she took 5 minutes to just apologise for and disavow everything that happened in her name after she decided to keep playing the Wizard Game.

But, and I say this with no disrespect to Silver, I’m not holding my breath.

[vellichorom]

I really really like this community and obviously the game, the tsp community does have some wonderful bunch.. but it feels.. I don't know, somewhat difficult to be there and share things with others (of course it's likely accidental or something, it's common to have closed bubbles), but it feels challenging, y'know? To find a place where you can share without feeling like a bother..

Have you ever had this struggle?

i've had VAGUELY similar issues, i think. i'm a very bold person ( i think that much is clear if you've talked to me for more than 5 minutes ) & try to worm my way into conversations & events because... well, sometimes that's how you get ahead & make friends & be apart of things you want to get in on. good intrusiveness, you know what i mean? but even i envy / have envied others with their evident & inevitable cliques & circles - in fandoms & otherwise, the closeness they have with people I'D love to be close to or doing things i'd love to be apart of. nothing wrong with envy, & nothing wrong with cliques & circles - so long as both parties aren't antagonizing the other, of course. but i absolutely understand that, & realize it's Way harder at times to try & get involved in anything when you See there are others already involved in their own thing.

but, you know !!! that shouldn't stop you from trying to contribute anyway! when it comes to public fandoms & servers & chats, it's NOT dominated by any one person or group, no matter if there's popular figures in it or not.

I'M a relatively popular figure in the TSP community(?) i GUESS??? god only knows why, but if you hesitated to post anything because you were worried about ME & my friends for whatever reason... well that'd be ridiculous, i say as lightheartedly as possible. our opinions as " figureheads " do Not matter & GOD don't let us who just happened to get lucky intimidate you any. we're all just random nothingburger motherfuckers who wanna post about what we like JUST the same as you, i promise.

& putting yourself out there regardless of your fears is how you garner traction, make friends, get to be apart of the things you like, etc! it's no bother! none of us are special & none of us are unworthy of enjoying the things we enjoy. so the best advice i can give to combat this tricky issue is SIMPLY do it, go forward, reach out, throw yourself into it & do it all anyway. do it scared! hesitating will Only hinder you & keep you from what you want, & unfortunately, there likely won't be anyone to invite you in if they simply don't Know who you are as a creator or person.

SO GO GET LOUD! go part the clouds !!! you have NOTHING to lose by making yourself known & heard & DOING IT ANYWAY!

& i hope in doing so, you can find a comfortable spot to get cozy in & interact with others or make some friends, & friends in those you admire too!

&... god willing i didn't Entirely misconstrue the issue in this message, but nevertheless! i hope it gets ( or has gotten ) better for you since you sent me this;

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello!!

I don't know how to explain so I will probably ramble a bit, before, yk, actually explaining.

So, I have this friend, they are of this analogue-to-god species. They look like sapio enough I guess, I'm no expert on this subject and sapios are kind of basic.

Of course, unlike sapios, they have the typical symbols of a deity: hands with wounds, an eye on the tongue and the most beautiful horns, intertwined around the entire skull like a crown and yeah, I also think they're super badass, even without the miracles and powers and everything.

The fact is that they are having problems at university. We don't know who, but someone is filling their dorm room with these most horrible notes about them being a freak or a demon (which isn't bad, but it's said in such an offensive way) and someone just shoved all their books in one of the university lakes and now they are banned from borrowing any more books and I helped them make a formal complaint and still no one will do anything about it! My friend is incredibly sweet and kind, they can't hurt a fly, even though they definitely damaged space time when he was born, but who hasn't?

The thing is, we recently discovered who was behind it and we've come to an agreement: maybe it's time to teach them why they called us monsters in the first place. A little payback? Installing a bit of fear of god on their souls? Nothing permanent of course. Nothing that could be tracked back to us either. But if these bastards think we are freaks, well we can behave like ones.

Still, I don't know. They don't know either. When is it revenge and when is it simply survival? I don't believe that if you break a nazi's arm you're equal to one. I do believe that a Nazi with one arm has one arm less to make Nazi stuff. Anyway, we need advice.

This is an extremely difficult situation, reader, and I'm so sorry you and your friend have been put in this position. I agree, it is a ridiculous bit of rhetorical nonsense to say that anyone acting against bigoted behaviour is “just as bad” as their aggressor. It is one thing to take violent objection to a person's (violent) behaviour. It is another thing entirely to object to a person's mere existence.

All this said, I am simply not in a position to condone violence towards this person, much less encourage you to any particular act. This blog is not a private conversation, and it would be highly irresponsible of me to say anything about your situation which might be construed as encouraging violence.

I must say, I am frankly appalled at your institution's lack of response. Please do double check your university's harassment policy. You have every right to demand action in accordance to that policy, especially if you have evidence of who it is behind these attacks.

If they continue to drag their feet, you might explore other ways of putting pressure on them to act. Peaceful protests, letter-writing campaigns, or going to the press with the story of their failure to protect vulnerable students are just some of the ways you can press the issue.

I also feel obliged to mention the possibility of getting the police involved. This seems to me a rather clear-cut case of harassment, but I understand if your friend does not consider this a viable option. Goodness knows the police have done little enough to earn the trust of the liminal community over the years, and you must be led by your own personal politics.

All of this to say that there are other options here, and I encourage you to explore all of them before resorting to violence. As I said, I cannot possibly condone violence on this platform – no matter how extremely tempting it might be to do so. Besides, if this person were, for example, to suffer some kind of extremely painful and humiliating accident, you and your friend would be the most obvious suspects.

Besides, it would be extremely unethical of you to curse this person to within an inch of their life, causing them never to know a moment's peace, plagued as they are by visions of a world more horrible than they ever imagined. Under no circumstances should you and your friend stand your ground, bare your teeth, and show this revolting excuse for a human being the true meaning of monstrosity. Certainly not.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[linskywords]

Weird ask maybe, but I’m a very young (adult) and very new member to the hockey fandom, and I’m trying to get over the weird social taboo of trying to talk to others in the fandom, do you have any pointers on where to go or what to do? Anyone who’s down for taking a new fan under their wing lmao

Also sorry for anon but I know this is weird and I couldn’t stand anyone seeing this and being like “who is the clown who doesn’t know how to talk to human people” 😭😭

Anon, I have been feeling your pain lately. I've been in the fandom long enough that a lot of my original writer friends have left, and trying to connect with the people who are writing now has been largely an exercise of being awkward in people's tumblr inboxes. 😅 (With some success! But mostly awkwardness.) I don't know if it's a taboo or if it's just that tumblr isn't meant for community-building and making friends is hard, but I definitely think a LOT of people are feeling like you are, and there aren't a lot of clear paths forward.

I do know that a lot of the actual conversation in the fandom happens through Discord, which is way better for community-building but much harder to access. I'm a member of one tiny server we're not growing right now and one larger all-teams server that I don't feel quite involved enough in to have invitation privileges, but if you're interested I can see what the policy is there. And if there are other servers out there that are welcoming newcomers right now, maybe someone can reply to this post?

For other stuff...I mean, I'm not doing it very well, so I'm not sure how much help I can be. Making friends online is just HARD (for me, anyway, and probably for lots of other people). You need a lot of discrete points of contact to actually feel like you know someone, and it can be hard to remember who's who without faces or voices to pair with them. The best advice I can give you is to engage with any contact you think is interesting and not get attached to any specific outreach getting a response, because most people don't know you either and won't find it easy to connect in return. And then when you find someone you want to talk to more, take a risk and see if they want to jump to chat. A lot of those risks probably won't pay off--chemistry is a tricky thing and especially hard to navigate online--but I bet some of them will. Fandom community is an awesome thing and I hope you (and all of us) find what you're looking for! ❤️

[princess-of-the-corner]

Quirk Counselling

Cause Mimi asked me to expand, and like-

Weird place to start, but have you ever read up on the history of plague doctors?

Most of them weren’t actually doctors. The Plague sprang up so fast, the government didn’t have the time, money, or resources to hire that many doctors. All things considered, I’m not sure that many doctors existed at the time, especially when many actual doctors were likely to be the first one to get sick. Given the way people got sick, government concern was very quickly becoming less about curing the disease, and more about containing the spread, figuring out who had it. And you didn’t need to be a medical professional to do that. Apparently, the most common occupation of Plague Doctor wasn’t “medical professional” it was farmer, greengrocer, and butcher. People who weren’t making a lot of money at the time, cause being a Plague Doctor paid REALLY WELL. They were sending you to check up on sick people, and possibly get sick yourself and die. So they had to make this position look good. So, even if you died, your family would suddenly have quite a bit of money. “Plague Doctors” weren’t really about being DOCTORS, they were about confirming whether or not someone had the Plague. They worked more like census workers who gave out shitty medical advice, than anything. Seriously, read up on Plague Doctors sometime, cause it can be real interesting.

Anyway, I imagine this sort of thing is how “Quirk Counsellors” started. When Quirks first started popping up, the governments of the world would make it mandatory to see someone when they manifested a Quirk. Because most of this would be little kids, they frame it as “helping them develop”, but the reality is they want to know what portion of the population HAS Quirks and what they are. And again, you don’t need a medical degree to tell someone else your observations about a person. I imagine that all initial Quirk Counsellors were just random government agents, and had to submit their files to a government database, so it’s basically registering your Quirk status with the government. But they had to keep up with demand, so you hire anyone who applies, and you pay them well, cause you want them to like you, and you’re sending someone to check out a potentially dangerous situation, you are paying them enough to not care about the possible poison gas.

Of course, some things would have changed by present day, mostly cause so has society, but I imagine Quirk Counsellors haven’t changed much since their inception. While there can be private Quirk Counsellors, most are still government positions. Literally anyone can do the job. There aren’t any qualifications. You don’t need any kind of medical degree, you maybe need to complete an online course (maybe) that takes like six weeks. They pay REALLY WELL. You’d get all kinds of people - those who genuinely want to help but have no clue what they’re doing, those don’t give a fuck and are here for the pay check, those who are actually really good at it but suck at marketing themselves. It’s a shitshow.

I imagine there’s probably SOME regulation, but none of it is government mandated, it’s all done by the community. By review, and word of mouth. Like, Quirk Specialists are probably a thing - a Quirk Counsellor that specializes in a specific kind of Quirk type. I imagine that Specialists are probably the ones you want, because the idea is they dedicate their time to something specific, so actually know what they’re talking about. General Quirk Counsellors, who sort of do a bit of everything, are who you go to “diagnose” your Quirk, then you go to a Specialist. But even that isn’t a guarantee that you’ll get someone good. Some Quirk Counsellors network. Some don’t. Some charge you additional fees. Some will only see you if you agree to a certain number of sessions. Some reserve the right to name your Quirk for you. It is a MESS.

-

Oh I love this and unfortunately for everyone involved this works very well for the role of a certain OC I can’t wait to kill!

[writingforfishes]

lurker here. anyone got advice for being normal around people with hiccups irl? because right now my main strategy is “remove myself from their proximity asap” and i need better solutions. i know there’s nothing wrong with being horny but sometimes i don’t want to be

So, first off, I totally validate that response. Yeah, there's nothing morally wrong with being horny, but that doesn't help the discomfort of being horny when you don't want to be.

For me, personally, customer service experience has helped a great deal with being in situations that activate a part of me I don't want to feel. It's a similar feeling to being just a little tipsy (bordering on drunk) or being just a little tired and forcing oneself to still communicate as if you are completely cognizant.

I just focus on being aware of the person as someone I need to listen to (if I have to communicate with them). I pretend to be a person who is very interested in how they are or what they're saying.

I make-believe and act. I take on the role of someone who is not me. I suppose it's a very subtle kind of disassociation. It helps me stave off the mental desires and take the edge off of the arousal.

I am still going to feel arousal. I'm going to feel my nether region's physical effects. But I'm going to channel any energy from that into becoming focused on something else, whether it is distracting myself with something visual if I'm not interacting with the hiccuper (getting really into reading something or doing something performative like organizing something in front of me) or talking to the hiccuper about whatever it is they're talking about with more enthusiasm or interest than I would normally have.

But, also, I think it is completely okay to acknowledge that you are uncomfortable in the situation and need to walk away. There's no shame in taking care of your boundaries, regardless of if the hiccuper knows what they are or not.

If you're still young (18, 19, or early 20's), anonymous, you might be able to develop more tactics to stave the sensations and desires as you grow older.

You might also work in thinking of situations where you'll be with someone or around someone with hiccups and plan ahead as to what you think would be the best way to deal with the situation. There might be a specific distraction technique you could use that would be easier to apply if you have already thought it through.

It's a lot easier to come up with coping techniques (because that is, I think, what we're talking about) if you've already planned something as opposed to relying on yourself to come up with something on the fly. This might also include lists of excuses if you do need to walk away from a situation. (i.e. "I don't feel well" "I'm getting a little overwhelmed right now and need some alone time" "I'll be right back; just thought of something I need to do really quick.")

Those excuses may seem unsubstantial, but if a lot is going on anyway, most people just nod and let it be. If anyone asks, chances are they just want to make sure you're okay. Assuring them that you are and that it's not anything serious (and not anything that they're purposely doing) is the best way to escape a situation without as much scrutiny.

I hope any of this is helpful. It's hard to describe the act of being overly present in order to deal with what is causing arousal. It seems paradoxical, but it's worked for me to the point that I can even talk to someone who has the hiccups ABOUT their hiccups if I just overly involve my interest in what is being said.

[obsidiannebula]

but when I put my work out there no one gives a shit. even the AI gets more of a reaction out of others, even if its purely negative. admit it, people only started to pretend to care about smaller artists and writers to stick it to the AI techbros

You're experiencing something that every creative on the planet has been struggling with since forever: the crushing disappointment of "I worked really hard on this but nobody even seems to notice it."

We've all been there. It sucks. We tend to feel a need for recognition and validation when we do or make something. Just about every artist or writer on here has experienced that disappointment, and wondered in despair if it's even worth continuing to make and post the things they make. After all, why put in all that effort to make something and share it, when nobody seems to care? Why keep investing so much into something you love, only to share it and find that no one else appreciates it like you do?

Well, if you've been in creative circles for a while, you've actually probably seen some answers to this question. See, we HAVE cared about our fellow small creators since long before """AI""" was really a concern. For years we've been making and sharing posts to help and uplift each other. We've told each other, don't create with the hope of getting fame and adulation, or you'll almost certainly be disappointed. We've told each other, create for your friends, for the 3 people who are as deeply invested in your rarepair or niche fandom as you are, create for yourself, create for the joy of creation. We've spread posts reminding people that a like is nice, but if you really enjoy someone's art, it helps the creator much more to reblog it, because it increases the work's visibility and reach. We have encouraged people to commission artists- and we have actually done so! See my little icon in the corner there? I commissioned that from a friend, who is a small artist themself. (@oriathura here and on the website formerly known as Twitter, in case anyone would like to commission them!)

The creative community has been supporting each other for a long time, whether you were aware of it or not. I've been on Tumblr since 2017, and have been following artists and writers that whole time, and began posting my own art and writing soon after joining. I have seen thousands of posts of the sort I described, trying to help motivate, reassure and uplift other creators. I have seen friends and mutuals get discouraged by the lack of response to their art, and wonder if they should give up. I have seen them carry on anyway, and I have seen them grow and develop as artists. I have posted my own work and gotten silence in response, and I have persisted anyway and continued to improve my craft and make work that I am proud of, regardless of how many people saw it or validated me through praise.

Because I wanted something to exist, and I made it exist, and I deserve to be proud of that. No matter how many people saw it or liked it.

You didn't ask for advice, but I'm going to offer some, and you and any other creatives reading this can take it or leave it, as you like:

*Find community. Follow some creative people, maybe acquire some creative mutuals. Join a Discord server for artists and/or writers. Get involved with a small group of fellow creators and hype each other up!

*Learn how to tag your posts. Don't spam a bunch of unrelated tags, of course, but learn how to add plenty of relevant ones. Lots of people follow tags for characters, fandoms, and even the "my writing" and "fiction" tags- I know I do. That will put your post on the dash of some people who are following those tags. The more people who see it, the more likely it is to reach the people who will enjoy it- because no matter the subject or even quality of the work, there IS an audience for it. Following and posting in these tags may even help you find community!

*Make something with no intention of ever sharing it. If you love to create but find yourself discouraged and frustrated by a lack of positive response when you share your work, make something just for yourself and keep it to yourself. Learn to appreciate creation for creation's sake, for the joy you can bring yourself. If you're feeling really bold, make something and then destroy it. Rip it up, burn it, hit delete. Art is valuable even when it is fleeting.

*Create for an event. One of the best things that ever happened to my writing was participating in TAZ Pride Week 2018. I wrote a new fic every day for 8 days, pushing the limits of my creativity and writing skill. I tagged each work with the event tag, allowing others to find it and the organizer to reblog it to the event blog, which lots of people were following. Many people saw and enjoyed my work as a result. I saw the work of numerous others and was inspired. I even gained my first artsy mutual (aside from my irl friends) because of this event, so this can also help you with building community! People organize art and writing events all the time, especially for fandoms. Seek these out and see how you can get involved!

Sometimes, creating can feel like thankless work. But that doesn't mean it has no value. If it meant something to you, it was important. And it may become important to someone else one day. Some of my works that flopped hardest on publication are the ones that still get the occasional note or AO3 comment here and there months and years later, because they appealed to very few people, but those few people are very excited on the rare occasion they find something that scratches the particular itch they have!

When I was in 7th grade, we read Summer of My German Soldier. I don't know that I'd recommend the book to anyone else; in truth I don't remember much from it, aside from the main character getting a bad perm. But one quote from that book has stuck with me my whole life. It led to me the understanding of creation as a powerful, almost sacred act, regardless of how many people view it. For "there is more nobility in building a chicken coop than in destroying a cathedral."

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

advice for someone looking for a dom, tips for first irl meet or anything? i think the way you openly share about your sex life inspired me to get on fetlife lol

so, sorry to take a long time responding to this, i was mulling it over in my mind for a while to see if i have anything much useful to say. i don't know that i do, but here's something, at least:

the best thing you can do, in my view, is to go to local munches and sloshes, meet people, get to know the community around you. as someone with terrrrrible social anxiety, i know that can be a terrifying prospect, but if you're looking for something longer term than a one or two night thing, even if you aren't looking for something romantic, you'll want to actually like any dom you're playing with as a person and not just as a kink dispenser, and making friends in the community makes it easier to meet additional people anyways. it's the difference between going on a date with someone you've met a few times irl and know you have a rapport with versus someone off tinder where you have no idea how you'll vibe, and i personally much prefer the former (though i do still meet plenty of people on tinder or grindr, so hey)

if your anxiety is too much to do something like that, then look at local groups on fet and see if there's any personal ads that strike your fancy, or post your own. talk to people for at least a few messages before meeting up, and always meet in public first and let someone know where you're going and when they should expect you back or to hear from you. weird tip, but relevant i think: masturbate and cum before you agree to meeting anyone or doing anything, so you know it's something you are actively interested and not just horny for at the moment. may sound dumb, but i've definitely almost made some very bad decisions while super horny that i avoided by just jerking off and getting that post-nut clarity of like "oh wait, that's a bad idea and i don't want to do it".

additionally, i would highly, *highly* recommend not doing any play involving restraints the first time doing a scene with someone in private. any type of kink play involves a lot of trust and some inherent degree of risk, but being able to get away or fight back if something bad starts happening is super important. risk mitigation, especially early on when you're still learning, is crucial shit. in general, if there's any kink clubs near you, i would really recommend playing there first, because if someone is going wrong or if the person you're with is ignoring you safewording and saying no, there will (at every public space i've been to) be people whose job for the night is monitoring the dungeon and intervening if need be.

no matter which method you choose or how you meet someone, be clear and honest about any experience or lack of experience you have, both for your safety and theirs, mental and physical. if you've only done something to yourself, say that explicitly and not "i've done X", because those are very different situations. there's nothing wrong with being a beginner in something, as long as you are honest and direct about it, and you'll have a much healthier and more enjoyable experience versus being thrown into the deep end because you fudged your experience level with X or Y or Z. also: aftercare is important for almost everyone, and even if you find you don't need it, which is very unlikely (i used to think i didn't need aftercare, but it turns out i was just ignoring sub drop because i was so depressed generally it didn't seem abnormal lmao), the other person very likely does, even if they're the top or dom in the scene. common trick is also have some dark chocolate in the fridge for the day or two afterwards lol, it sounds silly but it has genuinely helped me with sub drop.

uhhhh i mean there's a lot more i could get into, but it gets into a lot of things that require knowing specifics on your situation, and you're much better off meeting people in the community IRL and learning from those with more experience, asking for help and answers to questions when you don't know things or even just need clarification. hopefully that's at least somewhat helpful though

(also brought up in mentions, there are people who offer classes on kink 101 stuff and there's books as well [Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns is a common rec i feel], but i personally don't love them [at least for beginner stuff, i have done and loved plenty of classes on more specific subjects], and a lot of "you should do this in a kink relationship" advice is incredibly specific to the personal outlook and experience of the person writing, and not usually something that can be easily universalized)

[the-lapis-eyed-raven]

I never care what my diners do. The preternatural community has enough drama for me without me meddling in affairs of any of them. Besides, as long as they leave the squabbles at the doors and don't bring it in here, I have no reason to be involved. They know this.

I walk from table to table, greeting the customers. The eldest of vampires tries to offer me a deal, jokingly. He knows I'd never accept. I've no reason. I hear the werewolves in the corner being loud, but it's laughter, so nothing to be concerned about, yet. If they keep their heads, they'll not cause any concern anyway.

No, it's not being cocky. That would be someone being unaware that they have limits. I know my limits, they're just much higher than anyone that usually walks in here. Even the fae are wary if they deign to enter. The rules of every community helps too. I have a whole legal department that alerts me when anything changes. It rarely does.

Now, not to say I don't have trouble from patrons, but usually it's solved within moments. That was the norm until a week ago. One young changling has come in every night now. Not heeding the advice of elders or my staff. They start fights, almost assault my staff and customers without cause, and use vulgar language as loud as possible. Tonight, that ends.

As if on cue, they walk in the door as I stand next to the menus. I give a smile and wave them to follow me. I could tell they didn't have much power. Even if I didn't have magic sense, how they act as we pass by some of the more powerful beings speaks volumes. They knew little about the world.

I noticed a few diners lean close to whisper as they saw the changling and I. They figure it was the final straw, I guess. Well, at least my guests will get some free entertainment. I sit his menu on a table that is visible by the entire house. I want to be able to spot the trouble as soon as possible.

I serve as their waiter. Drinks, appetizers, entrées, dessert. Anything he asked for that was on the menu. It took about an hour before they started to cause trouble. It was first yelling at a customer across the restaurant. I came to stop, but they pushed me. I smirked and the building went silent.

This was a good way to start things. I stood tall, letting my aura fully out. The changling didn't shrink like the others in the space. They take a moment to look and notice the changes in everyone. I take this moment to let my glamor ripple and break.

My skin darkened until a deep, stormy blue-grey. My eyes became as pitch. My hair turned almost silver white with an ombre into gold. Swirling silver vines etched into my skin. My gold-tipped silver nails began to look more like talons. Finally, my true voice rang. It was deep, vibrating, and hypnotic.

"There are many in this place more powerful than you. The only reason they haven't put you in your place are because of the rules set by me, the host. I obey their rules because they respect mine. Your queen knows this. Everyone in this restaurant knows all the rules. You have broken a number of them." I took a break before continuing, the changling now cowering. "I tolerated it as I wasn't here to see it until today. Now, you have two choices. You can either leave or I can escort you out. Either way, you're banned from the premises under any and all circumstances. If you don't pick, I'll give you a show of why I always wear glamor. You have 10 seconds."

I didn't even start to count. They ran. I soon had my glamor back up. Green eyes, ash blonde hair, olive skin. My nails still pointed, just not claw like. I gave a pleasant smile to the customers and staff before going to my office. I had a letter to pen to the unseelie queen.

You are the owner of a very well received restaurant that caters to the… not quite human variety. You serve the vampire lords, and wolf pack leaders, zombie kings, and all sorts of supernatural guests, but one customer is causing you a lot of trouble. It is time to show why you are the owner

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

no tws, looking for reassurance + advice

I have NPD and I recently fucked up in a friendship partially because of that. Because of a combination of that and my extreme avoidance issues and me being bad at communicating I ended up causing a situation that hurt both me and the other person involved. I never meant to make them feel the way I did and I've apologized and taken accountability for it, and we're working through it, but I just. Don't know what to do about it on a personal level. I feel really bad about it in not exactly a guilt way but some kind of Bad and it's upsetting me. Even though I didn't communicate like I should have in the first place and that's what caused the situation, I did everything right afterwards to try to fix it/make it better. I feel like a bad person for fucking up even by accident though. And I don't know exactly what I'm feeling or why I'm still feeling it. The person isn't mad at me, though there are still some hurt feelings and problems to work through. Overall it turned out about as well as it could have, but I still feel panicky and gross. I know I should just feel my feelings instead of trying to get rid of them, but I don't like this and I want to stop feeling it and I want to stop thinking about the conflict as much as possible because it freaks me out. Anyways. Yeah. I'm not sure what to do about any of it and I just want to run away from the whole thing again, but that's part of what caused the problem in the first place

Hi anon,

It sounds like you might be dealing with impostor syndrome or something adjacent, where perhaps you feel like you're a bad person despite your attempts to rectify the situation. I'm curious if you think the stigma around having NPD fuels this feeling.

This is a great page about Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy's concept of Irrational Ideas. It's essentially a list of harmful thoughts followed by a bullet list of affirmations that help dispel that thought. I'd like you to read the bullet points under Irrational Idea No. 3. I'll share a few of them here (keep in mind a lot of these were written out in the 60s so it may not use the more inclusive language we have today):

Human beings are not perfect. They don’t have total control over all their actions. In the real world, we all make mistakes from time to time and treat others badly because (1) we don’t know any better; (2) we can’t do any better; or (3) we’re too disturbed. That’s just the way we are. Believing that others must do the right thing ignores the real world. Blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he doesn’t know any better will not make him smarter.

Blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he can’t do any better won’t help him to do it better next time. And blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he is disturbed won’t make him any less disturbed.

We all do lots of things everyday. Some of the things we do are “bad,” some are “good,” and some are neither “good” nor “bad.” The “bad” things we do don’t make us “bad people;” and the “good” things we do don’t make us “good people.”

From time to time it will be you who acts badly, selfishly or unfairly. Just like everyone else, there will be times when you make mistakes because you don’t know any better, can’t do any better or are disturbed. When it happens, you can tell yourself, “Oh well, that’s life! I guess I’m as human as everyone else. I’ll try not to do it again, but there are no guarantees.”

If you can access or afford it, I think a therapist could be a great option for a longer-term kind of help for navigating these issues and gaining a closer insight into your own behaviors or how your NPD influences them. They can also help you process your feelings of guilt around what happened recently with your friend.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[automatismoateo]

I wish religious people could see the world from an objective point of view for just one day. via /r/atheism

I wish religious people could see the world from an objective point of view for just one day.

Especially missionaries and hardcore religious people make me sadder over time. I don’t mean any harm or wish anything bad for a single person, but I can’t express how much it would mean to me if religious people could just see the world objectively for a SINGLE day and make up their minds. (Yes, everyone would stop believing)

This has been on my mind for a few weeks now and today is the day my fuse actually caught on fire. I have been in a relationship with a christian girl – I know what you think, but I’m not here to discuss this. We have been together for six years now and I don’t love her religion, but her as a person and I really do not care much about future topics that *will* come up as long as there’s respect for each other’s beliefs. I am willing to end even this long relationship when that basis is no longer given.

**Skip the paragraphs in brackets if you don’t care about the personal backstory and only the stuff more relevant to this sub.**

[Anyways, the reason I am writing this specifically is music, though, I’m convinced you can apply this whole text to almost anything in life.

I enjoy listening to heavy music (what a stereotype of a non-believer for many narrow-minded people) and obviously that’s about the devil. Right? We all know that; well, at least religious people do. My girlfriend never liked it but accepted it and didn’t say a word about it up to this day. She listens to a LOT of worship music which I personally find totally horrible. Now, today she expressed her concerns about the fact I’m going to a Rammstein concert this summer. Stating the band is satanic, dark powers are present on their concerts and what not. Great thing is she’s on a 5-week trip at the moment and didn’t have the guts to talk about it *before* leaving. Yes, sub-optimal, I know, I know.

Anyone who has looked at their texts knows that’s bullshit and the truth is that they’re just often criticizing religion and society, for example. I just stated my point of view briefly and said we’re finishing that discussion when she’s back. Still, I was interested in where she got that “information” about the band being satanic, etc. so] I read up on some christian forums because my girlfriend expressed her feelings towards my lack of belief and DAMN why can’t these people just accept other points of view like we do in this community? We don’t have to get involved in their personal lives face to face or on the internet and tell them to stop believing, simply live and let live!

I normally don’t deal with religion more than necessary. I do enjoy learning about it to the extent that it contributes to understanding different points of view and also mine, but that’s it. Know your enemy, right? And what I read over the last couple of minutes really got my blood boiling. If everybody just keeps their business to themselves, I’m fine with different ideologies and world views, although you can’t truly deny science.

There are too many people who think everything that doesn’t fit in their belief system is satanic. They can’t explain it – so it must be wrong. They don’t know details – they judge. It isn’t what they were told by their parents or priests – it’s got to be the devil’s work. I know this isn’t a new thing, I just saw too much of that during the last weeks and needed to rant.

I see the problem on a personal level and don’t need relationship advice (also because I know what people here will say and I will sort this out for myself). I am just venting and thought some people in this awesome community cared about my thoughts :-)

Submitted June 06, 2023 at 12:00AM by p3rseusxy (From Reddit https://ift.tt/2UCwGyf)

[missryorinechan]

I posted 346 times in 2022

That's 346 more posts than 2021!

14 posts created (4%)

332 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@void-fireworks

@ashen-crest

@dontjudgemeimawriter

@writingonesdreams

@bloodlessheirbyjacques

I tagged 279 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#writeblr - 109 posts

#writeblr community - 85 posts

#save for later - 60 posts

#other’s writing - 46 posts

#other’s ocs - 32 posts

#writing - 25 posts

#not my writing - 25 posts

#writing advice - 21 posts

#other’s wips - 19 posts

#other’s wip - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i’ve had this fire and ice things going for a long time; ever since i first made them but i never thought their personalities would evolve

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

1 and 7 for the oc ask game?

@writingonesdreams

this will be fun 😄 thanks for your ask!

———

1. What are your OC’s best and worst qualities? What do they think are their best and worst qualities?

Reince - His best quality would be his ablility to analyze problems and situations. As for his worst, he doesn’t trust anyone to help him with any *personal* problems (Lyra and/or his dad have to find out/drag it out of him). He believes his logistics are his best quality and temperament to be his worst (he’s more chill than he realizes).

Lyra - She’s a great a listener! Very engaging, too. It’s easy to talk to her, and can keep any secret if any are passed on to her. At the moment, she has no bad qualities! :3 I’ll find out what it is later, I’m sure. She knows her buoyant personality is her best quality, and she believes her inability to shapeshift is her worst.

Spyro - He’s actually pretty good at running Verdure, as he considers all sides of diplomatic matters, then filters through the nonsense, firm in whatever decision he thinks best for all involved. When he’s not working though, he’s a worrywart and subservient. He doesn’t think he has any good qualities, and he knows his inability to standup for himself is his worst.

Perpetua - She knows how to wield a number of weapons, and she knows how to use her transpose ability along with them. She’s not all that great (or willing) to understand perspectives other than her own. She knows she’s good at everything (is she wrong)? And doesn’t think she has any bad qualities.

Paprika - So…At the moment, I don’t know any of this? She’s been the evil sibling for so long, this softer version of her is still new to me.

7. What is their biggest insecurity?

Reince - Honestly? Losing self-sustainability physically, mentally and especially financially.

Lyra - Not being accepted by others.

Spyro - He has a lot, but the fear of being treated differently once people find out he’s the prince a major one.

Perpetua - None at all, of course! (Not being the center of attention, unbeknownst to her.)

Paprika - After losing her parents, she doesn’t want anything unexpected to happen to her siblings, either. At least, not without making amends.

2 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

#4

Last line tag!

Thanks for the tag, @dontjudgemeimawriter ! For some reason I completely missed myself on the taglist and just realized it today? Ah, anyway—

•••

Bianca twirls the glittering black-to-green pendant between her fingertips, a fondness upturning her lips. “No, no one I’ve featured before. On my birthday a few years back, my little sister made me this necklace. Roscoe has a few of her pieces as well—the bracelet he’s wearing she—“

/“Little sister? Is there a reason you never featured her? Roscoe, do you know her?”/

“Well, I do…and I don’t.” Roscoe scans the audience behind the cameras. “I would like to get to know her more, but—“

“She can be a little prickly, especially with people she doesn’t know well. She’s so adorable when she gets like that!”

2 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

#3

tag game!

Thank you @ashen-crest and @thegreatobsesso for the tags! I actually felt like working on my wip today! I like how this turned out for right now. This is an open tag for anyone!

———

Swallowing air was a chore, with his throat still course from unknown powder. Reince claws at his arm as he watches people rushing out of Rinse and Rave. Some of them made it out themselves, others weren’t even conscious. Lyra grapples onto his shoulder, loosening and tightening and loosening her grip as if it would relieve her. Blinding, blaring blue and red paint the early evening thick. Why… No, what was his next step?

“Are you the owner? Could you please tell us what you understand of the situation?”

He pushes the mic down as suddenly as it was thrust in his face.

“No, wait—we’d like to understand who you think would do this—”

He walks onto the sidewalk instead of standing in the midst of the road, Lyra refusing to let him go. The damage didn’t look too bad farther away… he drags a hand down his face. The door his father carved was off it’s hinges, the glass wall had been blown outwards. Furniture within had withstood the blast better, so he could salvage most of it.

3 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#2

✨writeblr intro✨

Hey there! So, I’m pretty new to the writeblr community, so I think an introduction is due. Welcome to my blog, and thanks for stopping by!

about me - I’m ryorine, I go by she/her pronouns and in my late teens. I’m the type of writer who’ll sit down to write, but actually just scroll through tumblr. I’m currently studying Japanese and wondering if I’ll become a proper adult when the time comes. I’m really into Dragalia Lost and Project Sekai fandoms (this blog is strictly for writing stuff though, so don’t worry, I’m not clogging it up with random stuff).

wip status - I haven’t started on the first draft yet, since I’m typing up an outline. Currently calling it “natural hues”. I’ve been watching documentaries and reasearching just so I could build my wip’s world, and it’s super fun.

blog navigation - Currently figuring out how to run and sort this blog, but you can find anything I write under the tag “#my writing”. I often repost other authors’ works, so you’ll find that under “other’s writing, other’s wip, not my writing” etc.

about natural hues

genre - So, it’s a fantasy world (not sure if it’s high or low fantasy, but I think it’ll be closer to low fantasy) where people can shapeshift into, possess the traits and skills of a certain animal. There isn’t really “magic”, since a person’s skills come naturally in animals, but there is technology that is slightly more advanced than the modern world but take that with a grain of salt I’m not sure yet. Depending on where a person is born, they’ll have the traits of a local animal. Traits can also be passed down, but I’m almost certain this would spark problems like in Zootopia, which, eh, maybe, but that isn’t set in stone. I also think parents may be able to assign their children an animal, and that way is less spontaneous than the first way and less problematic than the second—I’m undecided with this concept at the moment.

setting - There’s a continent (no name yet) with five major habitats, each with subdivisions and at least one monarch. (Bear with me here, I wrote these little biome notes for myself really).

Cosmopolis of Verdure

A biome with lots of trees and grasses, and rounded seasonal changes. A biome with a thick canopy of green and lots of rain.

Verdure is by far the richest and most populated habitat due to the Temperate District being a suitable and prosperous place for all throughout the year, while the Misty District remains humid for those who prefer year-round warmth.

Umi Emirate

A biome with endless portions of salty water and aquatic vegetation. A biome with freshwater surrounded by land with lots of plants. A biome with freshwater running through land and often meet oceans.

The Salted Deluge is the most populated body of water within Umi and have relations with Arktinen. Fresh Settlements are wealthier because of their close ties with Verdure and Woestyn.

The Woestyn Territories

A biome with tumbleweeds and cacti, harsh weather in the days and nights, and endless sand. A biome with dry grasses and open trees.

The Scorch Zone is harsher for most to live in with extreme year-round heat and drought. The Arid Zone is well off with a habitat closer to that of Verdure’s Temperate District.

Arktinen Dominion

A biome with snow and ice, surrounded by seawater, and a handful of vegetation.

The permafrost of the Tundra Division supports a small population, while the Glacier Division is partially governed by Umi.

Kingdom of Cueva

A biome with lots of high rock formations, tunnels running through them, and valleys dipping in between them.

The Tunnels and the Ravine are safe havens for those struggling to get by or for those in hiding. The Peaks are seldom inhabited by outsiders.

plot - Reince and Lyra have known Spyro for a couple of years—the kid became a regular at Reince’s cafe after gaining a crush on Lyra. After Spyro reveals his identity as Verdure’s prince to them, he stops visiting. Shady and inexplicable incidents within the cafe force Reince to shut it down. He receives a text that promises the sender can help get his business running again, but only if he agrees to meet in person and showcase all of his transpose forms….

characters - As far as my outline goes, I’ve got four characters that appear, so that’s who I’ll put (for now).

Reince Osage - My main man, a little rough around the edges but he’s got a cool head on his shoulders. Since he took over his father’s cafe, he’s enjoyed a quiet and content life running it with his best friend, Lyra.

Lyra Meij - Reince’s closest confident, and the only one who knows that he has multiple transpose forms. A medical condition she developed as a child prevents her from using her skills and transforming.

Spyro Meela - Verdure’s prince, and their only responsible royal. Since his parents passed, he’s been handling Verdure’s affairs with the help of the royal librarian.

Paprika Meela - Verdure’s runaway princess turned mercenary. While she still holds resentment toward her siblings, returning their just desserts is a relatively new concept for her.

5 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A semi edited piece of something. not part of a grand wip novel, I just like these characters ahaha

Prompt: “How are you all so cruel to each other?”

“You are such a single child. Listen, we say these things and smack each other with the knowledge that if something is truly bothering someone, they will tell us.”

Prompt by @givethispromptatry!

———————————

Dacre examines as Tabitha fishes her phone from her purse and presses her lips together when she sees the caller-ID. He leans over her shoulder and tries to catch the name, but she drops it back in her purse and lets it ring out. With exasperation in his breath, he straightens his posture so that his now damp shoulder is back under the umbrella he holds. Tabitha keeps her eyes on the library as they wait at the crosswalk.

“Sooooo who are you ignoring?”

Her phone buzzes again, and she picks up her phone and nervously chews her lip. She plays a new voicemail, leaning away from Dacre as he tries to listen.

「Tabitha, I can’t believe you just did that! We came to visit our favorite little sister for a while and you just ignore me? Ohhh well, I was tryna be nice and ask you for directions for your place, but I’ll find it myself. Oh, and who’s that with you? He’s cute! Are you on a date right now?!」

“Vivienne!” Tabitha powers off her phone and clutches her arms tightly to her chest and resists the urge to gnaw off her recently painted nails.

“Your…sister?” there was an innocent perplex in his tone.

“H-How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it?“

Tabitha dashes into the library as soon as the silhouette pedestrian appears, hoping against hope Dacre wouldn’t chase her. Technically, since they were still on the clock…she sighs, wondering how she kept her job as long as she had. Dacre says nothing when he reaches her. Oftentimes, she puzzles him—her reactions and mannerisms leave him yearning to unravel her mind. Aware of the calculating plum irises boring into her, Tabitha clears her throat and approaches the empty information desk. A kid pops up from behind it, enthusiastically waving at them. Like a fish out of water, Tabitha seizes up, struggling to get a word past her lips. Dacre snaps in front of her face, but she refuses to budge. He turns to the boy for inspection—sea green eyes and a tawny complexion…

Firmly placing his hands on the desk, the kid leans forward, “Aw, don’t be be like that, ‘onee-san’!”

Chuckles echo from the behind the desk, and two individuals with striking white-to-smalt gradient hair, their grins widening from ear to ear. Dacre wonders what their eyes looks like.

“Tabs!” the man with his hair loosely tied back chirps, resting his head in his hands, “Tabs, our dear sister, we missed you so much!”

“Miss you and all that…but I can’t forgive you for purposely ignoring us!” An inkling tells Dacre that this one is “Vivienne”.

Tabitha discovers the ability to function again, her quivers hardly noticeable, “I-I thought you…you were going to find where I live, not…”

“Ahem,” as her employer and partner, Dacre figured he had some leeway to interfere. The chance is stolen right from him, though.

“Oh, right, you. The name’s Raymond,” Raymond offers his hand to him. “Nice to ‘meet’ you.”

“Vivienne, here. And this lil’ baby is Nico. Ain’t he cute?”

Nico beams, pointing to his dimples, “‘Course I am! We came to abduct Tabs though, so…”

Tabitha chews hard on her lip, “I’m still working, so, that’s—“

“We can call it a day. It’s not a priority commission anyway.”

She nods and fiddles with one of her chocolate dreads, still aswoon from her siblings sudden appearance act, and the expectant stares she gained were crippling. Although the desire to pry comes to mind, Dacre holds his tongue and offers a farewell. Vivienne clicks her tongue, folds her arms and invites him for their impromptu reunion dinner. Tabitha avoids giving any gestures that tells him he couldn’t join them…he liked to think he could read her well. He dispels a tinge of guilt and accepts.

•••

Would nothing let Tabitha loosen up her defenses even a little? The only person who successfully held conversations with her was Nico, yet she acted like she needed to keep up appearances. Perhaps his presence overwhelms her—perhaps she caught on how often Dacre observed her throughout dinner as her “Raydiennt” siblings had. As dessert arrives at their table, Dacre recalls the slights aimed at her…no, he wouldn’t go there. Absentmindedly digging into his slice of pie, the zingy key lime flavor helps him round up his wayward thoughts as it melts on his tongue.

“Hey, Tabs—” Raymond swills another bite of affogato, “—Pop’s been wondering about those roommates of yours. From what I gather, they’re both…interesting.”

“Mm?!” Tabitha chokes on her water, earning pats on her back from Nico. “Have you been here all day?! Please tell me you weren’t listening to me all day.”

See the full post

29 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.