#anyway i'm very unwise about him <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[curiouslytuckered]

Unbroken promise because @twisting-roads made a very compelling argument

Boobs on men. Reblog if you agree

[not-your-bro]

THE WITCHER 3: BLOOD & WINE ribbon ending vs. prison ending

[megwritesriddles]

Out of Town ༊*·˚

18+ MDNI !!!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader / You

Summary: Kinktober 2024 Day 18 - First Time. Spencer is sent to a small town police station to get some information, but doesn't expect to meet such a beautiful officer whom he connects with so easily.

Tags: Loss of virginity, Virgin!Reader, P in V, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Handjob, First meetings, Getting together, Fluff, Awkwardness, Factual inaccuracies, Autistic!Spencer, SoftDom!Spencer (ish), Briefly referenced violence, Set around season 2-3.

Word count: 5.7k

Read it on ao3! | Masterlist

Authors note: It's FINALLY here!! Virgin!Reader because of this poll!! I struggled with this one so much and I don't know why, it took forever to write and it's so long and I'm not even sure I like it that much, I will come back for Spencer after kinktober and redeem myself!! Hope you like it anyway mwah ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡

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Spencer didn’t believe in fate, but he believed that something close to it had brought him to that small-town police station. At first, he had complained vehemently about being sent alone to the next county over while on a case. The team were investigating an UnSub targeting very small towns, and communication between these tiny police departments was virtually non-existent. It was Spencer’s job to see if any missing persons cases in nearby counties would match the description of a recently discovered unidentifiable Jane Doe. He tried to argue, saying it was unwise to send him, the worst socialiser of the bunch, to try and negotiate information from the usually very territorial small-town cops. Unwillingness to cooperate was still rife in the culture and each department wanted to be the ones to solve the case, so information sharing was limited. However, his complaints fell on deaf ears and he was sent away, he would have never guessed how happy this would end up making him.

The first few county police departments he pops by offer nothing, no missing person cases (at least matching the necessary descriptions or timeline) and grizzled FBI-wary old cops who glared at him and commented on his ‘funny’ behaviour. Spencer’s confidence was a little shot as the day progressed. He sets off for the final department he’d be visiting that day, talking on the carphone with Morgan to find out how things were going with the rest of the investigation. He pulls up outside of a small rustic building, the smallest he’d seen all day, his only visual confirmation that he was in the right place being the rickety old sign off of which various letters were dangling. He hadn’t realised places like this even still existed, or that information-sharing programs weren’t implemented nationwide. He would have to read into that more when he got the time. The light outside his car is a deep blue as the sun prepares to set, he gets out and locks up before stepping inside. The place is absolutely tiny, with a small jail cell in the corner of the room like in a cartoon and a small desk behind which were two filing cabinets, presumably holding all the files that this place had. This whole day had been one big culture shock. The biggest surprise, however, is you, behind the desk smiling warmly. You’re young and beautiful and not immediately distrusting when he presents his FBI badge to you. All day he’s been dealing with hardened older men, so you’re a much-appreciated surprise.

“Dr Spencer Reid, FBI,” he introduces himself with an awkward tight-lipped smile. You give him your name too, referring to yourself as an officer.

“It’s not every day we get an FBI agent visiting,” you chuckle. “In fact, I would bet it has never happened before,” He smiles slightly at your observation, not doubting it, remembering seeing the population sign when driving into town. Population: 342. If an FBI agent had been here before, he would have been shocked. Perhaps because of all this, you immediately guess what he’s here for, turning to grab a file from the filing cabinet. The drawer is barely full and you find what you’re looking for instantly. Must be nice, he thinks, thinking about the cabinets back at the bullpen. You hand him a missing persons file, a young woman, missing a month ago. “It’s only our fifth missing persons case since 1900, caused an awful stir in our town, I figure it’s what you’re here for, nothing much else going on,”

“Yeah, this looks exactly like what I’m here for, thank you,” he smiles, flipping through the file. The timeline fits with the estimated time of death, and she matches the height of the body found. “May I use your copier?” he asks. You chuckle.

“Good luck,” you point him to a very old-looking machine. He cringes a little but supposes he has little other choice. He fiddles around with the machine, encountering various unexplainable errors. You come up behind him and give the machine a firm slap and it whirs to life again.

“Thanks,” he smiles awkwardly. You just nod.

“No problem,” he sets the machine to print a few copies and then sits down on a nearby chair while the ancient machine starts working. “You’ll be here a while, want a coffee?” you offer sweetly. He huffs a small laugh, fiddling with the strap of his satchel.

“Yeah… uh… lots of sugar…” he says awkwardly.

“How much is a lot?” you ask, approaching the old coffee machine. Everything in this place is old, he supposes not much budget must be extended out here to such a small uneventful place.

“Just when you think you’ve added way too much, add one more,” he mumbles, pleasantly surprised when you laugh, he laughs too. He takes in his surroundings as you make the coffee. “Do you work here alone?” he enquires.

“I have one co-worker, he does most of the patrols and stuff,” you explain while scooping spoonfuls of sugar into his cup. “It’s slightly more exciting than working here, but I suppose I get some excitement tonight, FBI agent visiting,” you smile at him over your shoulder. You’re really beautiful, Spencer thinks as he nods along to what you say, so beautiful it doesn’t quite seem possible, and he’s constantly surrounded by beautiful people. Or so he’s told anyway, most of his colleagues are very conventionally attractive, but he is more floored by you than he has ever been by one of them. He takes the coffee as you hand it to him and tastes it, pleasantly surprised by the amount of sugar. The whir of the copier continues as you sit down beside him, smiling sweetly. “You seem young for an agent,” you comment, taking a sip of your coffee.

“You seem young for an officer in a place like this,” he counters. “I’ve been visiting stations all day and only been dealing with old guys,” he jokes, once again happy when you laugh. 

“Yeah, I suppose I am, but this is my hometown, a position here opened up right after I finished college and I applied,” you shrug. “I doubt anyone else applied, so they had to take me, but I was by far the most qualified person to have ever applied here, do you know I’m the first member of this department to have ever gone to college?” you tell him with surprising eagerness. He finds it very endearing.

“I’m the first in my department with three Ph.D.s,” he smiles awkwardly. 

“Three? Wow! That’s amazing! How old are you exactly?” you tilt your head at him. He goes on to explain his story to you, his early graduations, his IQ, all of it. You seem much more interested than most people and he appreciates it greatly. The two of you talk back and forth while the copy machine slowly does its work and he finds himself liking you a lot. Of course, he had immediately noticed your looks, but he had tried not to think about it, wanting to be professional, yet after talking to you for a while, he found he had a great deal in common with you. Or, at least, he found your interests interesting, as you did his. So, by the time the copying is done and he’s gathering up the papers, he makes a decision. 

He’s never been the most confident with women, far from it in fact, but lately, he’s been feeling a little more secure. His brief stint with Lila Archer, while a little regrettable with hindsight, had left him feeling better about himself and his romantic prospects. He’d done a little exploring after realising that he and Lila really had nothing in common to base a relationship on, and was now no longer so inexperienced with women, though he still had a lot of trouble with finding someone he was compatible with for more than just something physical. He had difficulties that made a relationship with him hard, and while he had never intended for any one-night stands, most girls had backed out after spending a little longer with him. They’d been polite about it, explaining that they didn’t have the faculties to support him through struggles with his career, with his autism, with his mother and he understood, but it still hurt. He was determined not to let it put him off though, not wanting to squander his newfound confidence. He liked you. He’d mentioned his autism to you in passing when discussing being bullied as a child (why had he even told you about that? It seemed like he’d just let everything out), and you had said he hadn’t deserved that. It didn’t mean you would be able to handle him in a relationship, but it was one step closer to possible acceptance. You’d been smiling and laughing with him all evening, giving him these sweet looks and he was no expert in this field, but it seemed like you liked him. He couldn’t not do something about this attraction, he would never forgive himself if he’d had a chance and not taken it.

He leaves his name and number along with the words ‘I would love to see you again’, written neatly on a piece of paper from his notepad, on your desk, right by your bag where he hopes you will see it. He’s fidgety when he says goodbye to you, anxious that this may be the last time he ever sees you. He hopes not. He even hugs you goodbye, which he would usually hate, but for once it feels nice and comforting. You smell perfect, like warm spices, and he holds you way too tight for a friendly goodbye hug, but you say nothing about it. He prays that you will find his number and contact him, even if just to shoot him down so he doesn’t have to wonder forever. He drives back to the hotel that the team is staying in with his head spinning. He really, really liked you, and he wasn’t sure how these feelings had grown so strong so quickly, he wasn’t usually like this.

That night, while reading in his hotel bed, his phone rings. He doesn’t recognise the number, and though his line of work has taught him to be wary of unknown callers, the chance that it’s you overrides this worry and he picks up quickly. It is you. He can’t help but grin with delight as he hears your sweet voice.

“Spencer?” you question softly.

“Hey,” he laughs excitedly. “You called,” you laugh too, surprised by how overjoyed he sounds.

“Yeah, I figured I should since it could be a while until you go through your satchel,”

“My satchel?” he chuckles in confusion, leaning over the edge of the bed to root through his bag. There, on a pink sticky note, is your number and a cute little smiley face. You gave him your number too, you wanted to stay in touch too. He’s over the moon right now. He traces his fingertips over the little smiley face. “You’re too cute,” he mumbles. You blush on the other end and laugh him off. “How was your… uh… drive home?” he asks. He’s never been good at starting conversations, usually best at taking them over and finishing them, but for once, he wants to know the mundane things about someone, as well as the deep and intellectual, he wants to hear you talk. He’s glad when you start to talk about your day, going on a few tangents about this and that. He does the same, feeling so incomparably comfortable with you like he’s known you forever, like he can just talk without worrying about coming off weird or annoying. He can only hope the feeling isn’t only in his head and he isn’t actually annoying you. He doesn’t seem to be, as the conversation occasionally turns rather flirty, and he finds it much easier to flirt with you than anyone else he’s ever tried it with. The way you flirt, sweet and coy, drives him crazy. You talk until way too late at night, given the time Spencer has to wake up for work, but he can barely bring himself to hang up on you, even when the both of you are yawning incessantly. He’s never felt this way about anyone. People always say, when you know, you know, and he’s always thought that was ridiculous but now… he knows. 

“Look, I’m supposed to be at the station in four hours, I really need to get to sleep,” you yawn. Spencer sighs, disappointed but understanding.

“Okay, but… maybe we could see each other again while I’m still in the area? You could come to my hotel tomorr– I mean tonight I guess,” he chuckles tiredly. “Drinks on me, or no drinks… that’s good too,” the question is followed by complete silence, and initially, Spencer is sure you must have fallen asleep, but then he hears you shuffling and realises you must be awake. He frowns. Why aren’t you answering him? You’d spent hours on the phone with him just now, you must like him at least a little bit, right? Could he have read this that disastrously wrong? If you didn’t want to, you could have lied and said you were busy. What gives? He repeats your name into the receiver, prompting softly. 

“I’m a virgin, Spencer,” you reply quietly, biting your lip. You feel embarrassed and ashamed to be admitting this, especially so early, but you figure there would be certain expectations if you came to his hotel, ones you couldn’t really fulfil, or at least not in the way he probably wanted.

“What?” Spencer squeaks, confused by your words for a multitude of reasons and unsure why you’re saying them now. You worry you’ve scared him off now.

“I grew up in a really small town, there’s like two guys close to my age in the whole place… and in college… I was a huge nerd, just focused on my studies… and now I’m back in that town… it just… hasn’t happened for me,” you sigh, fiddling with the hem of your pyjama shirt. There’s another pause, Spencer swallowing audibly.

“That’s totally cool! Really! I didn’t mean to imply that we’d be... uh… I mean… not that I don’t want to, I’d hardly be opposed to us… um… but I’m not going to– I was a virgin until last year too!” he stumbles nervously over his words, cursing himself for his awkwardness. He rubs a hand over his forehead and takes a deep breath. “I didn’t invite you here for that, we can do whatever you like, at whatever pace you like, don’t feel pressured into anything,”

“I just made this completely awkward, didn’t I?” you laugh self-deprecatingly. He smiles slightly.

“No, no, please I… I know what guys are like, you weren’t unreasonable to assume my intentions but… I just want to see you again, whatever we do,” he assures softly, relieved he hasn’t messed this up. 

“Yeah, okay, I’ll come visit you after my shift is over, text me the address,”

The two of you finally hang up after a nervous goodbye, and Spencer immediately sends you the address of the hotel before he can forget about it, not that he could if he tried, even without the eidetic memory. He’s tired enough that he falls straight asleep afterwards, using what little sleep he has to dream of you.

The workday goes by in a trance. The Jane Doe is identified as the missing girl from your town. Despite this, the case is no closer to getting solved. Selfishly, he is glad of this, as it means he’s likely to stay near you a little longer. He brushes away that thought, immediately ashamed of himself. He tries his best to push you from his mind to focus on his work, but you invade it in the quiet moments. He’s never been so excited to spend time with someone in his life. He thinks occasionally about your confession. A virgin. He’s partly shocked, you’re so beautiful, sweet and intelligent, however, your explanation had made sense. He understood the focus on your studies, while most people took college as an opportunity to have fun, you’d dedicated yourself entirely to your academia. He imagined though, that if you had decided to experiment, you would have had no trouble finding willing partners. By the end of the day, he is in such a rush to get back to the hotel that it rouses the team's suspicions. They don’t know about you though, so they can’t guess the truth. They figure he’s just aching for his own space like he sometimes is after stressful workdays, needing a dark quiet room to regulate himself in. He disappears into his room without any goodbyes, having received a text from you that you’re on your way. He spritzes himself with some fresh cologne, brushing his hair and making sure he’s dressed nicely, but not too formally, so he looks approachable.

He sprints down to the lobby to meet you, relieved none of his team is hanging around the bar to see the two of you. He does not want you to meet Morgan so early on. He embraces you, a little awkwardly, relishing that sweet but spicy scent that you have around you. You’ve taken the time to change out of your police uniform and into more casual, but still very enchanting clothes. He wishes he’d have had time to change too. You look absolutely gorgeous, but he’s not sure if he should tell you as such yet.

“A drink? On me, alcoholic, non-alcoholic, whatever you prefer! I’m personally not a drinker, but I don’t mind if you do,” he rambles, smiling excitedly down at you. You follow him to the bar, ordering a mocktail from the bartender. Spencer orders himself the same one, paying for them both. The two of you are quiet as you wait, both nervous. Spencer smiles dopily as you let him keep a hand on your back, the warm pressure calming you in some way. The bartender brings you your drinks and you take yours with a soft thank you, then the two of you go silent again.

“Are we going to your room?” you ask quietly. Spencer blushes a little at the thought but reminds himself that he’s not expecting anything out of this other than your presence. He nods, gently guiding you by the hand on your back to the elevators. The two of you are quiet in the elevator as it goes up, save for the occasional sip. You reach his floor and then the door to his room. He presents his keycard and the door swings open, revealing a modest but clean hotel room. You take a seat on the edge of his bed, and he takes a seat on the armchair nearby. You’re both quiet again. “We’re both nervous, aren’t we?” you chuckle. He laughs too, nodding, finding it sweet that you’re nervous too, being used to always being the nervous one. “Come on, we weren’t this quiet last night, tell me more about Vegas,” you prompt, hoping to rid yourself of this oppressive silence that makes your mind wander over his tall frame, his sweet eyes and the way his hand had felt on your back. 

He starts slowly, not initially sure what to tell you about, but gradually talks more comfortably as you ask questions. After a little while, the two of you fall into easy conversation once more. He finds you intelligent and well-rounded, even if you’re not as well-studied as he is, you effortlessly keep up with his discussion. You explain that you have lots of time to read in the police station as barely anything ever happens that demands your attention. He finds your willingness to learn on a variety of different topics incredibly attractive and whenever you’re able to tell him a fact that he doesn’t know, he just wants you all the more. Once he’s finished his drink (a fruity sweet drink he quite liked), he comes to sit beside you. He doesn’t necessarily mean anything by it but quickly realises that you think he does. You go pink and start to stutter, looking down at the ground. He swallows. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t– I just wanted to–” 

“Are we going to have sex?” you cut him off, looking up at him nervously. He feels trapped, not knowing what the right answer to this is. 

“We… don’t have to,” he replies, not wanting to imply disinterest but also not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

“Would you? I mean… it’s not off-putting that I’m a virgin at my age?” you ask, looking down again and swinging your feet slightly. 

“No! No! Trust me, it’s completely fine, I was a virgin until last year, I completely get it,” he assures, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Really? The handsome FBI man, a virgin?” you tease, nudging him. He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. 

“No need to flatter me… and no matter what I look like, my… uh…” he hesitates to bring it up again in case you missed it the first time and it’ll scare you off. “My autism makes stuff like that hard, very hard, so… I can hardly judge you,” he watches your face for a reaction, but you just nod in understanding. He’s so relieved that he could kiss you. He looks at you for a moment and then decides to do just that. He leans in slowly, so you have time to push him away if the thought of kissing him disgusts you, and presses his lips to yours. He kisses you softly for a moment, sliding his hand around your waist and tugging you a little closer. Your hands settle onto his shoulders, your head tilting to press a little closer to him. He smiles into the kiss and you smile too.

He keeps it gentle and slow, carefully manoeuvring you sideways onto his lap so he doesn’t have to lean his neck down so much to kiss you. He rests his hand just above your knee, keeping you held in place, his other hand on your back. Your hands on his shoulders slide softly around his neck, now embracing him to keep him close and comfortable. His thumb rubs back and forth on your back, his hand splayed out, keeping you pressed close. He likes this, you’re gentle, you smell good and the weight of you is comforting in his lap. He shuffles back clumsily, holding you close and upright until his back is against the headboard. He continues to kiss you, his hand smoothing up and down the outside of your thigh. You pull back and he frowns, though his hands don’t stop their gentle caresses. 

“Please, be gentle with me,” you whisper shyly, your pupils wide in the dim light.

“Of course I will be,” he whispers, his hand on your thigh coming up to caress your cheek tenderly, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone. “So… we’re doing this then? You’re letting me…?”

“Yes, it’s about time, right? And… I know we haven’t known each other long but I trust you,” you smile, leaning into his hand. He smiles too.

“When you know, you know,” he whispers.

“Yeah,” you exhale. These words speak of something much deeper, feelings that would be crazy to voice so soon after meeting, but feelings that are shared anyway, just covertly. Somehow, even if it’s crazy, you both know. He gently pulls your face back to his, kissing you again, keeping it tender. His hand on your cheek caresses for a little while longer before returning to your thigh, further up now, closer to the tantalising swell of your hip. He rubs slow circles, enjoying the feeling of you, wishing he was touching bare skin. He pulls back, peppering a few kisses across your jaw. 

“May I see you?”

“See me?” you question anxiously. He soothes you by rubbing your back.

“To take off your clothes?” he clarifies. You shiver and suddenly look very shy again. “Hey, I will think you’re beautiful no matter what you look like,” he promises. “You’re so beautiful, it’s plain to see,” you still look nervous and don’t make any moves. “We can’t really do this with clothes on,” he jokes softly, squeezing the plush of your thigh. You smile despite your reservations.

“But you have to get naked too,” you assert, trying not to let your voice shake.

“Of course,” he agrees. He gently moves you off of his lap and sheds his sweater vest, then unbuttons his shirt, not letting his insecurities get to him so that he can reassure you. He’s sure he has much more to worry about than you do, but if he got nervous, it wouldn’t help your nerves. He discards his shirt and sits there shirtless, feeling better when you smile at him. You slowly but surely pull your sweater over your head, leaving you in a plain black bra. Your cheeks are flushed and he finds it incredibly sweet. He places a hand on your bare waist, kissing your shoulder before carefully unhooking your bra for you. You take shaky breaths, clearly nervous as he turns you around to look at you. He is immediately baffled by how you could be so insecure looking the way you do. He smiles down at you. “Very beautiful,” he soothes, kissing your neck gently. “I’d love to worship them, but I think we should speed this up before you overthink it too much,”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, shivering as his hands skim over your bare skin. 

“No, I was a nervous wreck my first time, you’re doing way better than I was,” he promises, and it’s true. He briefly feels bad for the woman he lost his virginity to but pushes the thought away to focus on this much better experience. He tilts your chin, pressing his lips to yours again, kissing you softly. His hands slowly explore your skin, cupping gently. You’re warm and weighty in his hands and he loves the feeling, squeezing softly. You moan into the kiss and he delights in it completely. He gives one last slight squeeze to you before pulling back again. “If you let me, I’ll explore you thoroughly later, I quite like to understand exactly how things work inside and out,” you swallow and nod. He stands, carefully unbuttoning his slacks and sliding them down. Your eyes immediately flick to the bulge in his boxers and he’s momentarily embarrassed until he realises you seem happy to see it. “That’s what your beauty does to me,” he whispers, making you giggle shyly. He smiles, and then slowly, a little apprehensive, he lowers his boxers too. Your eyes are glued to him in interest.

“Can you sit down?” you ask softly. He complies. You lower your jeans, leaving yourself in your underwear for now and he admires the skin of your thighs and the beautiful curve of your hips. You carefully wrap your hand around him and he gasps in surprise. “May I?” you ask, examining him a little as he twitches in your hand.

“Y-yeah, absolutely, go ahead,” he swallows, letting out a throaty groan as you slide your hand up and down in the way you’ve heard about. He seems to like it. You watch his face as you adjust your hold, figuring out what's too loose and what's too tight until you find the perfect grip. He smiles a little at your analytical approach, tilting your chin so he can kiss you while you slowly stroke him. One of his arms wraps around you, the other propping him up. He kisses you intently as you carefully experiment with how to touch him. It’s an odd sensation, holding him in your hand like this, but you find you quite like it. You kiss and caress him for a few minutes, finally falling into a rhythm he clearly enjoys based on the soft noises he’s letting out before he stops you. You pout a little as he moves your hand away by the wrist. “Sorry, but I was getting too close and we haven’t… you know…” he smiles, kissing your jaw again. 

“Right,” you swallow as he starts to guide you back with him again until he’s against the headboard. He traces the sides of your panties softly. 

“Come on, you can take these off, I promise I will like whatever I see,” he assures. You take a deep breath and then shuffle yourself out of your panties. You’re shy, no one has ever seen you like this before. He smiles, gently massaging the flesh of your hips, pulling you to straddle his lap. You shuffle forward, your face red with embarrassment. He kisses your cheeks and carefully slides his hand down your stomach, giving you time to tell him to stop, before slipping his finger between your folds, rubbing softly up and down. He hums, feeling that you’re nice and wet. His fingers make you moan timidly and you close your eyes as his fingers gently explore. His free hand rubs your side soothing as he ever so carefully begins to slip a finger inside you. You moan, your head tipping back as his finger reaches further than your own ever have. “Another place to explore thoroughly later,” he says matter-of-factly as if the thought isn’t incredibly arousing. He spends a few minutes carefully stretching you out, easing in a second finger and pumping them in and out with great care. He watches as you moan and writhe above him and thinks that you look simply irresistible right now, leaning down and placing a few kisses on your stomach until he thinks you’re finally ready. 

He slowly withdraws his fingers, which makes your eyes flutter back open to meet his. He leans up to peck your lips and then guides your hips a little until you’re above him, then positioning his cock against you, making both of you hiss a little. The head of his cock catches your entrance and he takes a deep breath.

“There, you can set the pace, okay? Lower down as slow as you like,” he smiles, free hand still rubbing your side soothingly. You nod, taking a few laboured breaths before slowly starting to lower yourself onto him. You gasp at the stretch, even though it’s not too painful, stopping and starting as you lower yourself. He holds your hips with a feather-light touch, careful not to push you at all, holding himself back from bucking into your tight heat. His eyes are glued to your face as your lips part in pleasure. You fully seat yourself on him and sit there for a while, catching your breath and getting used to the feeling. He twitches inside you and he hopes you don’t mind the feeling as he cannot get it under control. His hands drift up and down your sides. “How is it?”

“Yeah, ah… I feel full…” you whine softly.

“In a good way?”

“In the best way, I’m going to feel empty the rest of my life after this,” you laugh slightly. He laughs too, although the words are oddly moving to him. His thumbs rub your hips.

“Want me to guide the pace?” he asks softly, eyes glued on yours despite his usual aversions.

“Y-yeah, that would be good,” you nod, sighing softly as he begins to carefully lift your hips. You hold his shoulders as he moves you slowly up and down his length. He groans and bites his lip under you, moving you a little faster, making sure to listen out to make sure you’re feeling pleasure from his pace. You feel perfect around him, absolutely blissful, and he hopes beyond hope that you feel the same. He tugs you down to kiss you, holding you still as he starts to buck up into you. Your lips move together messily as he fucks up into you, careful to keep it from being too hard. He rubs your back as he kisses you.

“Do you feel good?”

“So good…” you whimper, trailing off into a string of moans. He loves the sound of you, wishing his eidetic memory worked on sounds so he could remember the way you sound forever. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him as close as possible as he fills your body with pleasure, fucking you nice and deep. You whisper fragmented compliments to him as he drives you closer and closer to the edge, holding you close and kissing you desperately. “I’m going to– oh God–,” you moan needily, he groans in response, moving faster. 

“Yeah, come on, I’m with you,” he grunts, squeezing you closer to his body. With a few more deep thrusts, he feels you falling apart around him, making him whimper. He kisses you lovingly as stars explode behind his eyes, his mouth parting with throaty noises as he spills inside you. His chest heaves, his hands sliding up and down your body in a calming gesture as you both come down. He gently lifts you off of him and lies you down beside him on the bed, watching as you wipe the sweat from your brow. He hops up without a word and disappears into the bathroom, leaving you a little nervous and confused. When he reappears, you calm down, realising he’s just holding a damp cloth. He spreads your legs, making you blush despite what you’ve just done and wipes you clean with careful precision. 

“Thanks,” you whisper. 

“Well, it was my mess after all,” he smiles, taking the cloth back to the bathroom and rinsing it. He joins you back on the bed, staring at you for a moment. “Was that okay? You don’t regret it do you?” 

“Yes, it was good, I don’t regret it,” you assure him, leaning into his as he kisses your cheek.

“Good, neither do I,” he lies beside you, pulling the blanket over the two of you and reaching over to caress your cheek. His thumb skims your lower lip. “Now, get a little rest, I intend to fully acquaint myself with your body in a bit, and I can be very thorough with things that interest me,”

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xoxoxo

[etirabys]

It's very sweet about CS Lewis to idiotproof Paradise Lost against atheists. He didn't have to do that. He was a Christian writer in a Christian society and I assume he could have gotten away with just talking to other Christians about it and ignoring annoying people who wrongly read subversion into Milton. Instead he gives us a Christianity 101 chapter in A Preface to Paradise Lost and says, "this is the theological canon of the church, and here is how Milton hews to it again and again".

So now I think I understand Christianity. Maybe?

CS Lewis, explaining the canonical beliefs: Everything in nature is intrinsically good. Bad things happen when conscious creatures become "more interested in itself than in God", or assumes it can exist independently of God, as when Milton's Satan says that he is "self-begot".

me: Just for fun, let me enumerate the possible answers to 'who begot us?' – (1) conscious supreme being – e.g. Christian God, (2) our parents – e.g. Confucianism, (3) the self, (4) the weight of human history – humanity co-creating itself by maintaining a matrix of culture, (5) Nature – non-conscious but still revered, e.g. planet worship / I hecking love science, (6) null answer – non-conscious material processes.

Lewis: God knows in advance that some conscious entities will voluntarily make themselves bad and also knows what good use He will make of their badness. As [Milton's] angels point out, whoever tries to rebel against God produces the result opposite to his intention. At the end of the poem Adam is astonished at the power 'that all this good of evil shall produce'. This is the exact reverse of the programme Satan had envisaged in Book I, when he hoped, if God attempted any good through him, to 'pervert that end'; instead he is allowed to do all the evil he wants and finds that he has produced good. Those who will not be God's sons become His tools.

me: That's such beautiful cope! I've heard the badly-articulated versions of that Christian belief but it turns out I'm unprincipled and like it when you, Charisma Stat Lewis, say it.

me: It's also hard not to speculate that this belief is more adaptive in a world with e.g. a 50% child mortality rate.

Lewis: Also, The apple wasn't magic. THE APPLE WASN'T MAGIC. The only point of forbidding it was to instill obedience. The disobedience was so heinous precisely because obedience was so easy.

me: it was a shit test

Lewis: The Fall consisted of man's disobedience to his superior and was punished by man's loss of authority over his inferiors – chiefly over his passions and his physical organism. "Man has called for anarchy: God lets him have it." After the Fall, understanding ceased to rule and the will did not listen to understanding.

me: okay so what about the physical organism

Lewis: Man used to control his erections before the Fall

me: what

Lewis: That's right. No accidental boners. No morning wood. No dead bedroom subreddits. You can clench your fist without being angry and you can be angry without clench your fist. The will controls the fist. The sexual organs used to be like that.

me: That follows splendidly from "man was punished by the passions overruling the will" and yet I wasn't expecting that at all. Probably because I'm female? I annotated your "the will did not listen to understanding" with "we didn't have akrasia before the fall", because akrasia is a big problem for me. But being horny isn't.

me: I mean, obviously some women are really horny and causes them to act in unwise ways, and some men aren't horny. But "single men under age 25 are the most societal-problem-causing demographic" is well known, and even outside that age range, men seem to be, like, "cursed with horny" in a way that requires managing & makes them miserable on a day to day basis... so it makes sense that male interpreters would identify that with the Fall. It's conceptually congruent in a way "the Fall caused childbirth to be painful" isn't.

Lewis: Anyway, the Fall – people overcomplicated it. The apple is just an apple. It's not an allegory. The Fall consisted of Disobedience – doing what your superiors told you not to do – and resulted from Pride, which is forgetting your place. This is what the Church has always taught. Milton states it in the very first line of his poem and all his characters reiterate it from every possible point of view. Don't read false emphases into Milton! This is what he is saying: obedience to the will of God will make you happy and disobedience will make you miserable.

me: Well, obviously you know that your modern reader doesn't like this. You're pleasantly cognizant of atheist readers who are into self-governance and equality.

Lewis: The modern idea that we can choose between hierarchy and equality is not quite right. The real alternative to hierarchy is tyranny. If you will not have authority you will find yourself obeying brute force.

me: I simultaneously have a suspicious-resistant feeling and the perception that, when people in my milieu disagree with this, your view is the baseline from which we deviate minorly. Any form of functional social arrangement is going to have something that looks like authority and obedience.

Lewis: Understand this: Milton's poem belongs to a hierarchical conception of the universe where everything except God has some natural superior and everything except dead matter has some natural inferior. Superiors should rule over inferiors. When Milton protests an instance of rule (he was against the monarchy of the Stuarts) he is disagreeing that the Stuarts are superior while still thinking that hierarchy is cosmically good. The justice or injustice of any given instance of rule depends wholly on the nature of the parties, not on any social contract.

me: I have little respect for Confucianism because it strikes me as so overtly a system of thought with no internal merit or wisdom on the micro, whose only function is to make society run on the macro. (I'm sorry to say "only" there, because that's a big function.) What you describe has the same feel. This isn't a great label for it, but I'd call both Confucianism and Christian hierarchy 'biological philosophies', in that of course this is the philosophy that materially deprived apes who want both power and stability would equilibriate on: a system of subjugation and cope. The hierarchical conception itself is "understanding ceasing to rule".

Lewis: [Lewis would doubtless totally own me. But he doesn't directly address this in anything I've read by him, and I can't simulate him in enough detail to generate his response.]

[hotforharrison]

I initially missed the public records update document, but as of this afternoon, all of the divorce documents have been filed with the court. The final decree has been sent to the judge to go over. They told me to call back this coming week to check if she signed it.

My only concern about her signing it is that my ex-husband gets the house. We couldn't afford a lawyer, so we've just had a verbal agreement that we plan on getting onto paper and notarized that I can stay here without paying rent or utilities for a few years while I get my life sorted out (find a secure and stable job that pays enough that I can live on and pay off my debt), in lieu of selling the house and getting half. I'm also not asking him for spousal support.

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of the day we got engaged, all of four days before we got married back in 2010. Monday would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. It would be kind of ironic if the judge signs the decree on Monday, the beginning and the end on September 16.

One of my cats, Indy, has an open wound on his ear that I'm hoping I don't have to take him to the vet for. (I will if it is necessary, though. I talked to my ex-husband about it, and he came over and looked at Indy's ear himself to see what he thought. We adopted Indy when he was 11 weeks old in July 2015. He's not just "my" cat.)

I've been flushing Indy's wound with saline 3 times a day. It had scabbed over. He's been wearing a cone I got on Amazon that's made of foam material and seems to be comfortable for him. However, during a much needed nap I took earlier, his ginger brother, Ripley, licked the scab off and cleaned the area, opening it back up. I wasn't happy.

I have a Litter Robot and a regular litter box. Indy can't use the Litter Robot because of the cone not fitting through the entrance. Ripley can't use the Litter Robot because he is chonky and can't fit inside very well. (I'm trying to work on that, but there's a major issue of my third cat, Little Kitty, not wanting to eat on a schedule. She goes on a hunger strike when the food isn't free fed.)

My mom was kind enough to get me a regular litter box and some extra litter and wound wash on Amazon to be overnight delivered between 4am and 8am, so I can tend to Indy's wound better and separate Indy and Ripley when I'm not able to supervise them.

The state vocational rehabilitation program was supposed to pay for my tuition for my medical billing and coding program. They have not done that yet. I have an appointment next week with the counselor there to discuss that, but it's really stressing me out because I don't have $12,000 sitting around to pay for the tuition before the deadline.

Anyway, combining those things, I am coping poorly. I did manage to get my coursework done for the week, though, by some small miracle. It was kind of a lot, since the modules are only 8 weeks long over the course of 12 months. The program has a shorter length but larger load. I needed it that way because I'm operating on a deadline.

School is my overall highest priority right now, securing my future. I only have a few years to sort my life out before I have to pay for rent and utilities.

I'm not sue where I'll end up after the period of not paying rent or utilities ends. Maybe here, if I can find roommate(s) and afford it.

Rent has gone up astronomically since my ex-husband and I rented in 2013. Our very nice and large 2 bedroom was $900 a month then.

Now, that gets you a much less nice studio or MAYBE a one bedroom in this area.

My primary concern is the roommate(s) situation.

I'm not going to rush to move in with a guy because that's unwise in a variety of ways. My ex-husband and I dated for over 3 years before we got married and moved in together. (Those things were tied together because he was lower enlisted in the Army at the time and had to be married to live off post.)

We had roommates twice during our time living together, and both situations panned out very poorly in terms of living up to the terms we set out and payment of rent -- especially the latter.

Our second roommate paid us rent exactly twice out of the ten months she was there, and we also paid for her moving costs because she was moving in with us from out of state. It was always one excuse after another, until we finally had enough and told her she had to find somewhere else to stay.

The clean up after she left of the room she rented plus the bathroom she used took me 16+ hours. It was disgusting. We let her use a very expensive and nice mattress that had been gifted to me when I got married, and she destroyed it. She didn't use sheets for some reason, and the smell was gag worthy and there were stains on it.

But I don't know if I'll be in a position to afford the full rent and utilities without a roommate.

The average Medical Billing And Coding Entry Level salary in Texas is $42,340 as of August 27, 2024, but the range typically falls between $38,329 and $46,557.

If I make on the lowest end of that, I can afford $950 a month in rent if 30% of my income goes to rent.

As far as staying in what used to be my martial home goes, if my ex-husband even charges me just the cost of the mortgage without any extra added on, that would be $300-400 more than I could afford if the roommate situation didn't work out.

I don't think he'd leave me homeless, but finding reliable roommate(s) would be extremely stressful, since it would ultimately be up to me to find them. I don't think he'd put up with a revolving door of me trying to find reliable roommate(s) and failing.

And I wouldn't blame him either. He eventually wanted to rent out this house long-term, and it shouldn't cost him money to rent it out. He should be bringing in a profit on a rental property.

I find myself wondering if maybe it would be "easier" to find a small one bedroom or studio where I don't have to worry about roommates causing me financial issues.

I don't know. My long-term plans are up in the air right now.

[angeart]

... I would like to know about your OCs... pretty please?

-🎀

ribbon anon my dearest!! you wanna hear about them? 🥺🥰

the drawn characters are rei hayden and raven hayden, and they're meant to be twins. "meant to be" because... well, let's backtrack a little.

the story on raven's side starts on one fated new years eve. he's spending it alone, unhappy, contemplating his life. he makes an unwise and impulsive wish, yearning for something different.

this wish yoinks him and transports him to a very scary place <3 but dw! there's a guide person! and he recognises raven (which is odd :3c) and keeps saying this is a place for lost souls.

but he also says raven isn't lost.

the place kind of turns into a nightmare, the world shifting and reshaping around raven, and– there's a maze, and rising water, and lots of mirrors, except every single of his reflections looks different and acts on their own. (and not in a good way. they look kind of desperate.)

i'm trying to be concise here, so let me just say he gets out of this mid-world (by drowning while staring at one of his reflections that looks so so sad <3) and wakes up... in a bed. in an unfamiliar apartment. with a person with his face telling him to hurry up and get ready for school.

so! huh. that's weird.

raven's never had a brother, least of all a twin, but here rei is, flesh and blood, looking at raven in a way only an annoyed family member can.

here's some fun bits about the story:

raven is considered to have an irregular amnesia where he occasionally forgets everything about his life. this alludes to this not being the first time something odd has happened to some raven in this world. it's also not medically accurate, because, spoiler alert, it's not amnesia. and our raven remembers his life, and this wasn't it, thank you very much.

rei is the irresponsible brother. the troublemaker. the lone wolf. he also gets into fights and has enemies. he tries to reaaaally sell that he doesn't care.

raven kind of sees through that lie, gradually at first, then more steeply.

raven has a digital watch that stopped working the moment he was spirited away. which is 8 seconds before midnight on new years eve. it's his only possession that's carried over.

the new years eve hasn't happened here yet. it's before christmas.

you'd think this world is Nice and Safe and Normal, besides all that, but wrong! raven still sometimes catches his mirror reflection moving of its own accord, and he hears voices behind his back, and feels phantom touches that sometimes feel a bit too real. let's not forget about the nightmares.

he's exhausted and confused and scared and it's getting worse.

basically, he doesn't belong in this reality. these are the ways in which this reality is rejecting him, absolutely messing with his perception <3

there's a lot more going on here, about why he's here, and what happened before, and what the voices are actually telling him, etc.

there are other characters too! (but i tend to draw mostly just raven kjxbnk) the other characters include:

evia, a bullied girl with a horrible home life who just wants to escape it all, and gets tangled in with rei thinking he might be her ticket out (seeking out protection, even for the price of being used)

nick, a gang leader who doesn't shy away from violence, thinking rei needs to pay for some things he did in the past and learn his lesson (his methods are questionable; he's ready to hurt and destroy anything in rei's vicinity to prove his point and bring rei down to his knees)

and kye, nick's friend, who's genuinely only trying to do a good thing, but agrees with nick that rei needs to be stopped. he tries to take people away from rei safely, in order to protect them from the blast zone of this mess, convinced rei doesn't really care about them anyway.

here's a 2022 art of raven as a bonus <3

[convexicalcrow]

In which I decided to write the ending of this fic until it was done... 4k words later. XD Enjoy. <3

---

False landed on the outskirts of the Ancient Capital. She really didn't want to have to go and confront Pix again, but this wouldn't be over unless she did something about it. She didn't see him anywhere, though he was online somewhere. Maybe down in the catacombs? Maybe.

Maybe she should call for back-up. That might also be a good idea. Perhaps a better idea. But there was really only Impulse, and he was busy working in the nether last time she checked in with him. Scar and Cub were too far away to help right now. Well, she didn't know they were too far away, but she had trusted them to the nether search, and maybe an amnesiac and Scar were perhaps not the best pair to send on that particular expedition. Truth is, though, she wasn't sure she trusted them with this task either. She didn't want to risk either of them being infected again.

She sighed. Seems it was up to her to fix this problem. Pix had warned her to stay away last time, and she was very definitely ignoring that warning. Perhaps that was unwise. Still, no time to back out now, right? The skulk couldn't be allowed to continue infesting him, and if no one else was going to take up the fight, then it was going to have to be her, as usual. Cleaning up everyone else's mess. That seemed about right.

She slowly made her way into the city, trying to think of places where Pix might be, assuming he was here, of course. She didn't know for sure that he was here, but something told her that he was. The place was quiet, apart from the shuffling and kicking and sharp chirps of the dodos. It felt… eerie. Like the air knew something bad was about to go down. False didn't like that feeling either. Perhaps she was unwittingly walking into a trap. If she was, at least she could fight her way out of it. Scar and Cub wouldn't stand a chance.

Well, best start somewhere then. If she was going to get this far in, she might as well do this properly. She flew over to the catacombs and entered, heading down the stairs into their depths. Maybe he wasn't here either, but she had to check, just to be sure.

-

"Hey guys! Just a quick question before I head over, do either of you have any enderpearls?" Impulse said, getting them both in a call.

"I know I don't," Scar said.

"I know Joe donated a whole bunch to your base, Cub, but I don't know if you have any on you," Impulse said.

"Honestly, I haven't really looked through what I've got on me but maybe, maybe. We'll see." Cub got out his enderchest and set it down to look through his items. "Why did he give me all those enderpearls then? I don't remember that happening."

"I believe it was because you and Cleo burnt his totems. So he rerouted the trash to your base and now you have all the enderpearls. So yeah, have fun with that," Impulse said.

"Yeah, that seems fair," Cub said. He'd looked in a few shulkers and had found no pearls. "Not looking promising though. I have some prismarine blocks for some reason though in case you need those."

Impulse laughed. "Nah, I'm good. In that case, I'll bring the bedrock-breaking kit. You'll need to dig up to bedrock so you can help me find the best place to break it, yeah? I'll be maybe ten minutes. Three thousand blocks in the nether is a long way out for sure. How did you even manage that?"

"You know how easy it is to get lost down here! You take one wrong turn in unfamiliar territory and suddenly you're a thousand blocks from where you thought you were and can't remember how to get back!" Scar protested.

"He took me through the wrong portal. He wanted to show me the froglight farm but yeah. Now we're here," Cub said.

"Oh, of course! Anyway, hang tight, I won't be long, alright?" Impulse said.

"We'll dig up and meet you there, alright?" Cub said.

"Carve out a hole when you reach bedrock, there will be explosions!" Impulse said. "Make it Scar-safe, Cub! I don't want either of you losing your stuff this far out."

"On it, Impulse. Thanks again, I'm not sure I'd have been able to get us back. I'm… navigating is difficult at the best of times, let alone off the back of such a large blackout, yeah? So I'm glad you're here because I'm not sure Scar could have rescued us either."

"It's no problem, I was working in the nether anyway. I'll be over in a bit, yeah? Seeya soon," Impulse said and left the call.

"Well, Scar, I guess we're digging up," Cub said as he picked up his enderchest.

"I guess we are! Thank the Vex for Impulse!" Scar said as he started digging upwards.

-

False found no one in the catacombs. What she did find, however, was a very nondescript hole in the ground leading to a staircase that she almost didn't see because it was so covered with skulk that the stone beneath wasn't easily visible. Maybe- maybe she should go down there. That seemed like a better lead. She got out her communicator.

scar, cub, maybe get to pix's base as soon as you can? not sure if this will be dangerous, not sure he's even here, but you know, just in case?, False sent to Scar and Cub. If she was going to go down and confront him, she wanted them to be not far behind her, ready to unleash the hoards of Vex should she be infested or otherwise incapacitated.

She took a moment to steady her breath and drew her sword. "Alright, here goes nothing."

-

She headed down the staircase, carved out of the rock. The smell of skulk slowly got stronger, though whether this was a sign of his presence or not, she didn't know. But there was definitely skulk down there at any rate.

The staircase stopped, opening out into a large cave. In front of her was a great skulk covered … thing? There was a spawner there, she could see that now. Maybe this was for making skulk? Maybe. She dared get a little closer to the edge and looked down to see … wait, was that Pix sitting in the middle of all that skulk? It was hard to tell, there was simply skulk everywhere.

Dare she go down? That seemed… unwise. But then two blue-green bright eyes stared straight into her from down below, and she froze. Pix was definitely here, and he knew she was here too. And then the figure vanished, and before False could run, Pix had appeared through the skulk on the wall close by, veins shooting out to wrap around her.

"I thought I told you to stay away, vex," Pix hissed as he pulled her close.

"Er, yes, yes you did, you definitely said that," False said, trying not to show her fear.

"And yet, you ignored my warnings. Well, then. I can't be held responsible for what happens to you now. You should've stayed away. But perhaps that guilty conscience got the better of you. After all, why exactly are there two of you? Do you happen to know? Not everyone knows, but I know. I've seen into your mind. I've seen the secrets you're keeping from the other one, and from your friends. You wouldn't want me to tell, would you?" Pix said.

False froze. He couldn't possibly know. Could he? "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's just you in different outfits, is that it? Like Gem and her LARPing? Yeah, that's definitely just it. Only there aren't two Gems here, are there? But there are two Falses. So, tell me, which one's the real one? You? Or the one who's memories you wiped and want to keep as far away from the Hermits as possible?" Pix said.

The veins squeezed tighter around False, and her sword dropped to the ground, the muscles in her hand cramping in such a way that she let go without warning. How did he even know all of this? There's no way he could know all of this. Right?

"There's only one False, I swear. I-It might just be someone who looks like me, right? That has to be it. A cosplayer, maybe. Maybe that's it," False said, struggling to find a more convincing argument without giving away how correct he was.

Pix laughed. A vein moved up her face and False could feel it trying to get inside her brain. "Now, I wonder what would happen if spilled all your dirty little secrets, hmm? I wonder if your friends would still be your friends if they knew what you'd done. Because that's the thing about skulk. It gets inside your brain. And the Vex don't care about you nearly as much as they care about those other two. Who'd miss you if the skulk claimed you as well? No one. Your dark heart is just what the skulk like best. It's rotten already."

Every word he spoke simply evoked more terror into False until she couldn't move, couldn't speak, could only stare into Pix's horrid glowing eyes as veins spread out through her hair, sinking painlessly into her brain. Pix's eyes were the last thing she remembered.

-

It hadn't taken that long to dig up to bedrock and clear a space. They'd had a lucky run and had managed to find only one spot of lava to get around, and now they had a nice little cavern carved out. Cub had already identified a couple of potential blocks Impulse could use. He hadn't forgotten everything, to be fair.

"Hey, hey! How are my lost little lambs?" Impulse said as he called them again. "I'm about a thousand blocks away. Are you up by the roof yet?"

"Yeah, we're ready. Got a couple of spots you can use. Want me to send the coords?" Cub said.

"Yeah, please do. It'll make the set-up faster if we don't have to do that once I arrive," Impulse said.

"Yeah, False has asked us to meet her somewhere as soon as we can, so anything that speeds up the process, you know?" Cub said. He got his communicator out and sent Impulse the coordinates he'd found. "Check your messages. I've sent the coords over."

"Thanks, man. I'll call again when I'm over there," Impulse said and left the call.

"We're pretending we don't know what False wants us for, right? If he asks?" Scar said.

"Yeah, of course. I got a feeling she's in big trouble though. The Vex are screaming again. We might need to deal with this on our own," Cub said.

"Oh, no, surely Impulse would help if we asked!" Scar said.

"Too difficult. Let's just keep it simple. The fewer involved, the better," Cub said. "We don't know for sure that she's been taken, but we need to prepare for that."

"Right, of course. We're going to need to be in Vex forms, aren't we?" Scar said.

"I think so, yeah. We may need to taunt them to bring them out, then attack. Focus on curing, not killing. Killing doesn't work, it just spreads the skulk. So we want to avoid that," Cub said.

"Right, right, of course. I didn't think of that. But the potions will be enough, right?" Scar said. "On the swords?"

"Should be, yeah. Of course, we don't know if there will be any other effects on a non-Vex like Pix, but we should be able to get rid of the skulk. False should be fine, though. But yeah, we should hurry over there as soon as we're out," Cub said.

-

Impulse was with them soon after, and before long, Scar and Cub were climbing up onto the roof as Impulse packed away his redstone.

"So where's the way back?" Cub said, looking around.

"Oh, I'll take you, don't worry. You kinda ended up pretty much east in a straight line, weirdly enough! So it won't take us long to get back," Impulse said.

"Oh, of course. That'd be right. Thanks again, Impulse. I don't know what we'd have done if you hadn't been around," Scar said.

"Oh, you could have just flown back towards zero-zero, but I get it, especially if False is asking for you. Come on, this way," Impulse said.

-

Cub and Scar took their Vex forms once they hit the overworld and had said goodbye to Impulse. Travel would be significantly faster, and they could collect the Vex who had been preparing to fight off the skulk. Vexspace was chaotic again, though. It seemed False had been ripped away from Vexspace and they'd lost contact with her. Definitely not a worry.

They went to Pix's base, where the skulk had spread so much that Pix's builds were almost buried under it. At least it was concentrated around the catacombs and the statue, but it still looked very ugly.

"I think this has gotten worse, far worse. More than we can handle," Cub said.

"Maybe, maybe. But we can't just run away. We're the ones who can actually fix this. We can't let the skulk keep possessing our friends like this. It was hard enough with you, I don't want this to happen to anyone else, alright? We go in. We fix this," Scar said. "I promised I would burn all the skulk in this land for what they did to you, and I meant that. This ends today. We take them all down."

"Then I guess we'd better go find them then, hadn't we?" Cub said.

-

The Vex flew, phasing through the land as they sought out Pix and False. They quickly found them underground by the skulk machine. Cub held them back. He didn't want to risk Vex lives if he didn't have to. But it did confirm that False had also been corrupted. They sat down in the skulk, watching the spiders from the spawner above them fall and die, spreading skulk all over the stone below them.

"They can travel through the skulk. Their bodies may be difficult to hit. But I don't know if seeding the skulk with the potions would also work," Scar said. "I know they can do that, because I saw you do it, Cub, before you were cured. Their bodies are like the Vex, impermanent faces of the skulk itself. How do you fight something like that?"

"Hmm. Tricky. Maybe we try both? Some distract Pix and False and get them stabbed, while others seed the skulk itself? Do you want to lead the charge, Scar? Hotguy those pesky skulk into oblivion? I can watch from here and see if the potions work on the skulk down here. Maybe it will if there are bodies attached," Cub said. "And if it doesn't, we'll be backup."

"Sounds good to me. Alright, half the Vex, come with me! We're moving in!" Scar said.

Cub watched them peel away, hoping they would be successful. Two would be far more difficult to deal with than one, but maybe they could succeed if they attacked from both sides, through their bodies, and through the skulk. They could move faster than the skulk could, able to teleport instantaneously elsewhere in the world. Dropping their nametags would transport them back to Vexspace. That was the plan to save as many Vex as possible.

Cub looked down, distracted by shouting. Pix and False were definitely distracted, though it was hard to see what was going on. The impressions Cub was getting from the other Vex were veins being used as lassoos, or as whips, attempting to grab the Vex out of the air and kill them, but the Vex were tricky, and had no physical body, so the veins just didn't work at all.

Cub got his potions out, and uncorked a couple of bottles. "Now, maybe we'll all want to stab the skulk with our swords too, but I'm going to pour it on. If anyone wants to take another couple of bottles and get closer to the skulk down there, that may work too. Splash them onto the skulk, that should work. I hope."

A few Vex came forward and took some bottles, emboldened by their fellow Vex being untouchable. Cub gave out as many as he had, and then started pouring the potion onto the skulk, hoping it might make it retreat, or die, or, well. Something.

-

Scar swooped down to slice at False, managing to hit her arm this time. She cried out and tried to hit him back, but he was too fast. They were slowing down as the potions kicked in. That much seemed clear.

"Got you, Falsie! The skulk won't take you this time!" Scar cried as he flew around and went in for another attack.

"You couldn't kill me last time, what makes you think you will now?" False spat, eyes angry as she shifted around him.

"Oh, I've brought all my friends with me this time. You'll have to try harder than that," Scar said, dodging another attack as False's sword barely missed his ribcage.

A flurry of Vex collided into her, and she cried out, clearly in pain. "No! What have you done to me? Stop the burning!"

"The skulk must die, False. All of it must die," Scar said.

Scar wheeled around and went after Pix, catching him off-guard as he sunk his blade into his shoulder. Pix nearly got him as he turned and swiped at him instinctively, but Scar was out of the way before Pix could react.

"The skulk will die! All skulk will die!" Scar cried as he flew up to the spawner and broke it, denying the skulk below any further fuel.

-

The skulk hadn't really retreated much from the potions thrown onto it, which Cub wasn't surprised about. Instead, he got out his hoe, the one thing he knew would work to clear up the skulk, and got to work, sending the rest of the Vex to go help Scar.

If the skulk wanted to spread so badly, clearly the antidote was to remove it and stop it spreading. He'd seen Scar remove the spawner, and he clearly wanted to destroy whatever contraption this was. Cub was fine with that. He worked fast, pushing the skulk ever lower, ever smaller, as he shrunk the space the skulk took up.

Scar seemed to be holding his own, too, though there had been some struggle at first to figure out how to fight them when they kept disappearing into the skulk. Apparently annoying them into a fight was the solution to that particular problem, and then it became easy. Well, easier. They would still need to watch them, and keep throwing potions at them until the skulk was clear. Getting them away from here would also be a benefit. They didn't want to risk the skulk spreading to them again.

-

"Oh! Remove the skulk! Good idea, Cubby!" Scar said as he checked in with him. Pix and False were still struggling, but the skulk seemed to be weakening. He grabbed his hoe out and started clearing the area, tasking the Vex with keeping the potions up until it seemed safe.

"If you think the skulk will forgive this, you are wrong. We have been here from the very beginning, and we will be here at the very end of time. Our memories are long. The Vex will pay for this!" Pix said as he lunged at Scar.

"Oh, oh no! Not this time!" Scar said as he flew out of the way. "The skulk will not live! Give me our friends back!"

Pix seemed to stiffen, his body stilling, as the skulk seemed to retreat. "Enjoy what's left, then, pathetic little vex."

Pix collapsed then, and Scar was at his side, catching him before he hit the ground. He picked him up in his arms and got him as far from the skulk as possible. "Cub! Help!"

Cub was by his side immediately and took Pix in his arms as Scar handed him over.

"Take him somewhere with no skulk. I'll go get False," Scar said.

"On it. We'll head back to the mansion, quarantine them there," Cub said.

Cub flew off, and Scar went back to see False staggering towards him, arms outstretched, reaching for him.

"Oh, False! You looking for me? Try catch the HoTGuY now!" Scar said as he loosed a few more potion-tipped arrows into her.

"You'll pay for this, Scar! I'll have your head as a trophy for this insult!" False said as she tried to grab him.

Scar circled around, taking a moment to remove some more skulk, before he turned to find her on her hands and knees, eyes looking big and afraid and finally free from skulk.

"False? You okay?" Scar said, keeping another arrow locked on her just in case.

"S-Scar? I-I don't-" Her voice was cut off, and skulk veins seemed to come after her, grasping her ankle. She looked behind her, trying to pull away. "Oh, god, what's going on? Scar? What's this?"

Scar flew down and cut the veins loose. "Get back! She's ours! Try it again and I'll burn this whole place to the ground!"

He pulled False into his arms and flew away from the skulk. "It's okay, False, I've got you. You're safe with the Vex now."

"Vex? Am I a Vex?" False said, exhaustion filling her voice.

Scar didn't cry, not yet anyway. "You're the best Vex I've ever known, False, I promise. Now, let's get you out of here."

-

Pix and False had been placed in the same room Cub had recovered in once they got back to the mansion. The priests were tending to them to ensure the skulk had completely left them. Scar and Cub were at least together now, pacing near the room, anxiously waiting to hear how they were.

"I hope they haven't forgotten as much as you have, Cub. I'm not sure I'd forgive myself if that happened," Scar said.

"It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. You didn't erase my memories, the skulk did," Cub said.

"But-but I should have noticed! I should have been with you! Not messing about in Trouble Town! As soon as I felt you leave Vexspace, I should have been with you," Scar said.

"Honestly, Scar, please, stop blaming yourself. It's not going to solve anything, alright? Just be glad we stopped the skulk. And you destroyed that machine, right? So hopefully there's no more skulk spreading anywhere," Cub said.

"Oh, I destroyed it alright. I burnt all the skulk from Pix's empire and restored it with Joe as best I could. That machine is dead. Gone. Buried. We tore it all apart, and burnt everything. Hopefully that's all we need to do," Scar said.

"Yeah, here's hoping the fog doesn't try it again, too. That's where I got corrupted, apparently," Cub said.

"Well, you can't destroy fog! But you can stay away from it. So hopefully this will teach everyone to stay far away from that fog," Scar said.

"I hope so. I don't want anyone else going through this. Come on, I'm starving. Let's go eat. You can tell me more about the things I've missed. Maybe it'll jog my memory after all," Cub said.

Scar brightened. "Yeah! Joe said he was making some kind of rabbit stew too, like a really, really good one! And he made cookies for dessert!"

"Well, I can't say no to that," Cub said.

[elcias-diary]

Keep in mind once Azulon dismisses the audience, except Ozai, the only facts we have about the conversation come from Azula's mouth. And Azula always lies.

So here's how I think that night actually went down:

1. Azulon says something to the effect of I'm gonna punish your ruthless ladder climbing, how would you like to lose your first born son? (Some fans figure his actual plan was to transfer custody of Zuko to Iroh. Thus replacing the lineage lost with Lu Ten and punishing Ozai by raising his young son above him in the line of succession. It's a semi reasonable plan.) To which Ozai says something, it doesn't matter what cause it's a lie anyway. The real answer is that Ozai would do anything for ultimate power. (I genuinely wonder if he got Lu Ten assassinated and framed the Earth Kingdom for it. It feels very plausible given Iroh didn't seem to blame the Earth Kingdom for his loss.)

2. Azula hears this, knows Ozai would do anything for ultimate power and being the jealous little, sucking up to Daddy, gremlin that she is, promptly boils the actual words said down to "father's going to kill you".

3. It upsets Zuko, that was her intention, but it also scares Ursa. It scares her enough to get desperate. Desperate enough to make unwise choices.

4. Ursa confronts Ozai about it, desperate to do anything to save her son. She probably promises exactly that, to do anything to save Zuko.

5. Ozai doesn't correct her slightly twisted information because she just promised him anything for the life of her son. And he knows exactly what he wants. He wants daddy dearest gone and himself crowned Fire Lord. He's clearly got Fire Sages in his pocket so all Ursa needs to do is ... Do in Azulon.

Guys, when Azulon ordered Ozai to kill Zuko, do y'all think his intention was for Ozai to actually do it? Or do you think Azulon just told Ozai to do that to teach him a lesson about family and didn't expect Ozai to want to go through with it?

I rlly don't know the answer myself. Like i want to believe in the goodness of people but seeing how ruthless Ozai was, he had to get that from somewhere right

[babyzzz]

〻The Debt - ꒰ First Part ꒱ - Akaza& Fem!Reader

summary: after being saved by Akaza, you aim to thank him, but you should prepare yourself because the price to be paid to a demon could be high, and a simple thank you was far from enough.

warnings: sexual tension, akaza being a f** tease, mention of violent crime and blood, corruption kink

OBS: this is part 1 of a series with the same plot, and as soon as I write the others, I'll paste the link here. part 2, part 3

N/A: hello, this is my first post about akaza here on tumblr dot com. for some time now I've been seeing myself a little (very) obsessed with him and I've decided that I'm going to dedicate my life to writing for him heh

anyway, hope you like it!

ps: read my long fic with Akaza too, it's posted on ao3

The day was still bright, but the afternoon was already starting to take on an orange filter as the twilight announced its arrival and the girl felt her hands sweat and her heart speed up with each dragging minute. The lump that had lingered in her throat all day was making her flighty and unfocused at work. Despite the scoldings she received from the housekeeper of the mansion she worked for, she couldn't seem to shift her focus away from the horizon, longing for the moment when the sun finally disappeared from the sky and she was able to go after him.

She knew that it was unwise of her to attempt an approach with a creature of darkness and that her safety was far greater alongside humans who liked and cared about her, however, she couldn't help but feel confused as to her feelings after she was just saved by a demon, contrary to everything she had heard about them.

Night finally arrived just as she was done with all the day's chores and could retire to take her bath and finally sleep. But she wouldn't sleep, not that night. There was something she must do, and it could only be done in the dead of night.

She waited for all the lights in the mansion to be turned off and everyone who lived there to sleep. In their shared bedroom, she made sure her roommate was already sound asleep to tiptoe to the open attic window.

She felt goose bumps all over her skin as the night wind hit her, causing her yukata to cling to her body. It would be a freezing morning, but she didn't care. For the moment, she had to think of a way to jump up there without risking her neck breaking. Holding the geta in her right hand, her bare feet were in direct contact with the icy floorboards, but that didn't seem to bother her. Stealthily, she climbed out the window and walked along the roof of the mansion until she found a strategic point to drop down. Luckily for her, there was a vast garden with bushes and it was there that she mentally counted to three and jumped. The thin fabric of the yukata she wore – a gift from her superior – resisted, but her skin that wasn't covered was scratched and in places she even felt the blood ooze. She cleaned herself up anyway and ignored the searing pain from her half-open wound.

With difficulty, she walked towards the exit of the mansion until she reached the street and from there, no one could stop her from following to the dense forest where she knew she would find him.

Akaza was in yet another of his heavy workouts, not worrying about a thing. He wasn't hungry and he didn't have any missions to fulfill either. With free time, he just thought about getting even stronger and perfecting his techniques, and that spot in the forest was the best training zone.

Although, every now and then, he would look at a small clearing that led to civilization, with some hope of seeing a familiar face appear around that side again. But he knew she wouldn't show up again, not after all the terror she'd been through and he'd contributed to the nightmare. He immediately chastised himself for thinking too much of a weak, foolish human girl.

However, the sound of crickets and leaves falling to the ground mixed with the wind that shook the tree branches, he began to hear footsteps. The sound of breaking branches cut through the silence of the dawn, and along with that a strong and familiar smell of blood reached the demon's nostrils, making him pause for a moment to try to hear and feel it better. In disbelief, he growled in rage and excitement as he recognized the silhouette emerging through the trees.

Was that woman really coming this far? He shrugged and decided he would ignore her, he had already done too much for her, so she could go her own way. It was no longer his problem.

Or he was trying to convince himself. 

As expected, she spotted the demon in the usual place and doing the same thing he always did there: training. Sneaking behind a tree, close enough to watch the scene, but far enough away for him to see her, the girl just stood there watching him.

She noticed every move he made. Arms full of intense blue lines were veined as he did the push-ups and she wondered how much stamina he had to be able to do all that there without showing signs of fatigue. But soon her thoughts were drawn to other places, far more impure ones, which made her heart flutter.

She knew those arms were strong, she'd seen the strength under those defined, bulging muscles. But she wondered if they could be kind too if they circled her waist… She bit her lip trying to hold back such thoughts, but she couldn't, as she had been thinking too much about that demon for a long time. And they were thoughts she would never share with anyone lest she be put on a fire for having dirty thoughts with such a dirtier creature. 

But it was inevitable. He had carried her in his arms once, she was burning with fever and delirious with pain, but still she vividly remembered the way he had taken her. And she would like to have that feeling again, but under different circumstances. Something more intimate and other than taking her to a cave where he would tend to her injuries.

But her eyes went from inspecting his arms to inspecting the entire piece. Despite being a demon, the bastard knew how to be attractive. And she threw all the blame on him, on his strong arms, on his firm chest and, above all, on his belly, which had those side entrances that only made her wander in what those white pants he wore hid.

Feeling the filthiest of women, she slapped twice with both hands on either side of her face that was burning with shame to push away the perverted thoughts and decided that cowardice had spoken louder and it was time to retreat.

But her legs felt like they were made of jelly, and she wouldn't be able to walk easily. Reluctantly, she twisted her body around, grabbed the rough trunk of the tree, causing the splinters to fall out, and started to head back home. But she was stopped by the familiar voice that sounded just behind her, so close she was able to feel his breath on her neck, chilling her more and feeling a shock run through every inch of her body.

“You've barely arrived and you're already leaving? Did you decide I was right about not wanting you around?” His voice was laden with sarcasm and she could draw in her mind the smirk that was surely on his lips.

She didn't dare open her mouth to answer, because it would be vexing the ridiculous way her voice would come out. “We haven't seen each other for so long that you've learned to ignore me? Or was it someone who convinced you that the demon who mercilessly dismembered that serial killer really isn’t a good company?” He grabbed her wrist, forcing her to turn to him.

Too close.

She hid from him the fact that she had gone to look for him on a full moon night so she could see him more clearly. She even tried to tell him about that, but the words came out unintelligible because his face was very close to hers, and she could feel the temperature of his body and the smell of blood and grass coming from him. He arched an eyebrow. 

"It looks like you're having trouble talking yet. Did the cut to your throat affect your vocal cords?" He studied her face and looked down at her neck, where a scar was tacked there like a textured emblem, and he immediately remembered the night he'd found her bleeding amidst the pink blossoms of the cherry blossoms, which were tinged little by little with the crimson of her blood.

"No..." her voice cracked. “I came here to thank you…”, she said it instead and wiped the sweat from her free hand on the water green yukata with lotus flower prints, while the other one looked like it was on fire from the grip of his hand.

"To thank me?" He grinned even wider. “Your wounds are fully healed, which means it was that long ago and only now did you remember to thank me?” He got even closer to her, making her take a step back, but being stopped by his left arm, which was free, encircling her waist. “And I still smell blood on you. Are your wounds still open or you, with your weakness and foolishness, decided to hurt yourself again so that I can take care of you?” he teased, scanning her up and down, making her feel utterly vulnerable.

“I scratched myself in the bushes…” said the truth.

“Does a mere bush make you bleed? Humans are so weak.” The disdain in his voice and the way he curled his lips as he said it made her feel pathetic. “But that aside, how are you thinking of thanking me? An ordinary human person would accept a simple thank you, but I am far from ordinary and human. My price may be high, I do not offer help out of courtesy,” he concluded, staring intently into her eyes.

She swallowed hard and averted her eyes from that predatory gaze he possessed. But she felt his hand release from her wrist and then his rough fingers clamped down on her chin, making her face him again.

“Don't look the other way while I'm talking to you,” his harsh tone made her heart skip a beat. He would be able to rip her in half without any difficulty, so she avoided pissing him off.

"Sorry… tell me what your price is, I'll pay it," she cleared her throat after saying that.

And then he grinned, showing his sharp fangs. He remained with that smile for a while as his golden eyes gleamed mischievously, and she couldn't help but feel something between her legs. It was pathetic how he attracted her.

"Pay? What a good girl you are, hm? Very good girl. My favorite one." His smile closed so that he ran his tongue over his lips, looking away from her face and back to analyzing her body. “You are my price,” he said at last.

"Excuse me?" she stuttered.

"I already said. You are my price. I want you, without that yukata, completely naked and delivered for my pleasure.” He brought his face to her neck and pressed his nose to the soft skin where he sniffed eagerly. "Smells so good...", and licked it. “And it tastes divine," he almost went insane.

She couldn't contain a sly groan and melt at the gesture, which pleased him a lot. Quickly, without warning, he grabbed her thighs and lifted her into the air, making her legs wrap around his waist and then he leaned her against that tree.

“I've been hungry for you for a long time,” he said in a growl as he lunged forward, fitting her snugly against his crotch, making her feel the bulge already forming inside his pants. And she moaned again.

Unable to think straight, she gripped his shoulders as if her life depended on it and received with the same lust his lips that plunged into hers. Their kiss was intense and obscene. His right hand left her thigh and went to the back of her head where he grabbed the hair at the back of her neck and pulled it with some force, causing her feelings to be confused between pain and desire.

His mouth was hungry, he explored every corner with his tongue and every now and then he sucked hard on her lips, while he explored her body with his free hand. He wanted to rip off that yukata that separated him from his prize, but decided he would be patient. This woman was his, he would have time to taste her as much as he wanted, until he was completely sated.

But he wanted to know if she was responding to him, so he slid his hand down the warm insides of her thighs to the panties she was wearing and couldn't help the smirk of satisfaction against her lips at the realization that she was truly his.

“What a wet little whore you are, huh?” he said between one kiss and another. “Am I really going to be able to make sure that I can stain the purity of my lotus flower with all my demonic filth?” He reached inside her intimate part and rubbed the digits of his middle and index fingers over her pulsing clit.

She only groaned in response, pulling at his hair as well and slowly wiggling in search of more friction with his fingers.

“Fine,” he said upon receiving the thumbs-up. “That's all for today. We will have plenty of time for your debt to be paid off.” He withdrew his hand from inside her panties and released her, but keeping her tight against his body and the tree, as he saw that she wouldn't be able to stand.

He brought his fingers soaked with her slick to her lips and placed them there, ordering her to suck on them. Embarrassed, she obeyed. But taking advantage of the momentary courage, she decided to tease him too. She sucked hard, looking straight into his eyes as she snaked her warm, soft tongue through his fingers, wiping away every ounce of her own liquid.

Akaza hardened his gaze on her, and held the growl in his throat. What a provocative dirty whore was that woman? Very different from that innocent person he always saw. But then he smirked, enjoying that side of her. And the price of the debt was only piling up.

To say goodbye to her, he took her lips in another kiss, this time slower, so he could taste her completely from her mouth.

“Tomorrow, at the same time, come here. I don't accept delay, and if it does, I'll make sure to punish you", he threatened, turning his back to her and disappearing from her sight, leaving her behind with a racing heart, weak legs and a fire between her legs that she wouldn't be able to put out by herself.

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 3: Trivia

Hello People!

I hope you have had an amazing week and are going to have an ever better weekend. I am so done with this week. It was really crappy and I just can't wait for the beginning of next, hoping it will be better. The only positive side is that I was able to get over my writer's block and have finished about 3 new chapters.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter of Family Matters and let me know what you think!

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 3: Trivia

She closed the blinds and made sure for the fifth time the door was locked. Her breath caught in her throat and the fear and adrenaline that had rushed through her body made even Spencer Reid nervous.

"What's going on?"

"This is bad, I didn't realize the consequences of this until it was too late. I am so sorry I got you all tangled up in this mess."

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"I-" She turned and took a peek through the blinds, ensuring there was no one around. "I did not think things through. I think it's best if you go home, that way you might be spared."

"You are seriously starting to make me nervous, please tell me what's going on, how can I help?"

"There is nothing you can do; I am basically a dead woman."

"Why? Who's after you?"

"Anna Hemingway."

"Your cousin is after you? Did she threaten you or something?"

"No, she didn't have to." She walked towards the bed and sat on the edge, still glancing every now and then, making sure the coast was clear.

After her and Spencer's victory, they had both decided to go to bed, and while the rest of her family insisted on having another dinner dedicated to the couple, they had both decided best to eat and head back to their cabin. He had finished first and decided to head back, and as soon as he was gone, the memory hit her making her mistake obvious. And the main reason she had resorted to a passive competition with the world's worst cousin was clear once again. In a hurry she had returned to their cabin, ensuring she was not being followed, and locked the door, startling the doctor.

"The last time I beat Anna at something was when I twelve. We were both auditioning for the same role in our school musical. They gave me the part." He smiled, truly excited for her accomplishment, as well as happy to learn this new fact about her. "Don't get too peppy. On opening night, at Grandma's celebration for the play, I fell down the stairs."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because, Dr. Spencer Reid, as hard as it is to believe, me falling down the stairs was not due to my immense clumsiness."

"Wait, your cousin pushed you down the stairs?!" He exclaimed, truly horrified. How are children so cute and so evil at the same time?

"More like, she set her foot for me to trip on, but you get the idea." She glanced back at the door and then at the man in front of her. "I was lucky, I didn't break anything, but I have a feeling that might not be the case the next time. I also would prefer not to drown or anything like that."

"But we're federal agents, doing something to you or me would be unwise."

"You're speaking of the girl that tripped me down the stairs and thought that stealing my boyfriend and marrying him was wise."

"I'm gonna double-check the door is locked."

After hours of attempting to stay vigilant, her body had given in and she had fallen asleep. Although Spencer knew the danger, to him it was as simple as closing his eyes. She knew they were trained to deal with a lot of sick people, but he didn't understand the limits his cousin would go to destroy those who she felt wronged by. Although her main target had always been her, she once had basically ended a girl's life by getting her banned from pretty much any respectable college or job position because this one had made fun of her prom dress. Anna Hemingway was one to be cautious with, and they had both just embarrassed her in front of the people whose attention she had snatched years ago. It was worse than she realized.

"Spencer, Spencer." She spoke as she slightly moved him. He growled and moved away from her, attempting to continue his slumber. "Spencer."

"No, let me sleep." He complained.

"Spence, get up, please." After minutes of silence, she devised a new plan. "Spencer!" she screamed, making him jump, falling off the bed and landing between the edge of this first one and the door of the closet. "Oh good, you're awake."

He didn't say a word, for what seemed like centuries, and she wondered if screaming him awake was not the best decision, especially as her next request would not be something he would be inclined to.

"Sorry for that, I just needed you to wake up."

"Is there a fire I don't know about?"

"No, I just thought we could go for a run." There it was, the look Spencer had only given the unsubs he despised the most. She had earned it, but that didn't mean she liked it. "Sorry, I just, Nicole had to leave, and since I have a target on my back and there's safety in numbers... I also didn't want to leave you here alone, and vulnerable. I just felt like, despite your muscles, I am concerned you haven't yet mastered the use of your body."

"I will have you know that by all accounts I definitely know how to use my body. Quite effectively if I do say so myself, and others."

After his words, her mind went to a thought she never imagined having. She wondered if he meant it that way or she was just losing it. "Good, then you can come with me." That sentence following her thoughts was probably not ideal.

"No thank you, you can do it by yourself." She needed to change the direction her thoughts were going; they were definitely not helpful.

"Spencer, please. I am honestly a little terrified, and you should be too."

"Well, I'm not. She isn't worse than any unidentified subject we've dealt with before."

"Oh but she is. She's the worst type of unsub you could think of, but ten times worse."

"What's the worse she could do?"

"Let's not find out."

After whining from him and pleads by her, they both made their way out of the cabin. The shorts he had avoided yesterday were now covering almost nothing as they jogged. This was not a good reminder of their earlier conversation, so she simply focused on something easier: her cousin's imminent revenge. She thought it would come in the form of her accidentally pushing her into the lake, or a repeat of her falling down the stairs. She was even worried this time Spencer would be the victim since he had been the one to embarrass her. Her thoughts were interrupted by deep breaths and a yelp.

"Are you okay?"

"We've been running for hours, how dare you ask me such a question?"

She looked at her watch, "We've been running for exactly three and a half minutes. Actually, we haven't been running, more like jogging."

"How long do you usually do this for?"

"Depends on the day, but from thirty minutes to two hours."

"You need help."

"It won't be as bad, come on."

"You can go on, I am just gonna sit here and have a heart attack real quick."

"How on earth did you pass your physical?"

"I got it waved."

"Cheater."

"If it isn't it the 'it' couple of the weekend!" Suddenly the one having a heart attack was not Spencer, but her. "I didn't know you guys ran together, that's so cute!"

"Yeah, truly the reason I love her," Spencer said, a pinch of sarcasm in his voice.

"How adorable." It's coming, she could feel it. "Anyway, I was thinking, since love seems to be in the air this weekend, why don't we celebrate it by wrapping up the family retreat with a trivia night!"

"What does trivia have to do with love?" She regretted the words as soon as they came out, as Anna looked at her like she might as well be six feet under.

"Silly, the trivia would be about your significant other, of course!"

"Well, that's just-"

"Wonderful, I know!" The blonde smiled, delighted by her idea. "The family has already been briefed and they are all on board, I have started taking in questions and designed the cards, so we'll all meet around the campfire for dinner, and then we'll have trivia night!" She smiled brightly and began to leave, stopping by to appreciate Spencer's figure and palming his behind as she left.

"Did she just-?"

"Yes, yes she did."

"I need a shower."

After both had showered and changed they made their way to grandmas house, alert as to anyone following them. Most of her family had moved on from spying on them, but she knew Anna and Uncle Ernie were not that normal.

"So, what did your grandma do?"

"No one really knows, I mean it had to be good to make her so rich, but by the time my uncle Ernie was born, the eldest, she was already rich enough to sell whatever business she had and become a full-time parent."

"What about your grandpa?"

"He died before I was born."

"Oh."

They sat at the same table he had been at the day before; the chessboard was still in place. She began messing with the pieces, creating the game that always made her win, courtesy of her grandma.

"I didn't know you played."

"I too began at a very young age. I haven't really played since grandma died; she was my game partner. The only one that treated me like I was a human being." She sat down, remembering the hours she spent here when Nicole wasn't around, and everyone pretty much ignored her. "She was the only one that ever consoled me for losing my dad. Losing her was just one more box to check."

"I am sorry for your loss." He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, hoping to convey his sympathy.

"Yeah well, by how calm Anna looks right now I guess it won't be long before I join her, so we don't have to worry about that anymore."

He rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "So, what should we expect during this trivia night?"

"To lose, that's our safest bet."

"I don't really do losing."

"And all I do is lose, so I will be your guide this time."

The family had made their way inside, their excitement overflowing the room. She couldn't help but wish she could simply run for the hills. She knew the chances of them winning were null, because a) she needed to lose and b) Spencer and her hadn't known each other, really known each other long enough to be able to answer these questions. She wondered if that was the plan all along, that Anna somehow had found out about their lie and was using this as a means to expose it.

"Okay everybody, let's get started." Said, uncle Ernie. He wore the same clothes as their first day here. "Let us start with the competition. Since we have the newlyweds as well as the new couple in the family, I think they should make the honors."

She looked at Spencer and he smiled at her, she leaned closed and whispered. "Remember, to ease the monster, we need to lose, which shouldn't be hard, we're not even a real couple, there is no way we know enough about each other, right?"

He nodded and they both moved to the sofa that was designated as their spot, her uncle who now apparently served as the show host, handed Spencer and Tyler a buzzer, explaining whichever sounded first would get to answer the question. She mentally prepared herself, hoping she could answer enough questions to not raise suspicion but not enough to win the game, what a grand world that would be.

"Ready everybody?" everyone cheered in approval and she prepared herself. "This round is for the guys, once we finish you will pass the buzzer to your partner and at the end, we will have one round where either of you can answer. Now, the first question, what is your partner's Starbucks order?"

Spencer's buzzer went off as Tyler attempted to recall the memory. "It depends on the season. During winter and for as long as she can get it, it will be a Grande Peppermint Hot Chocolate, during the summer it will be no-coffee Double chocolate chip cookie crumble Grande Frappuccino with extra whipped cream, and no straw." She looked at him completely taken aback by his answer, how specific it was, and the fact that he knew she was a seasonal drinks person.

"Yeah, that's it." She spoke.

"Point for team FBI!" Her uncle cheered. "Next question, what is your partner's favorite color?"

His buzzer went off and the doctor spoke again, "Blue."

Ten questions later the scoreboard was 8-2, Spencer's lead, and the two questions he hadn't answered were because he decided that would be enough to lose. She didn't understand how he knew these things, or the fact that she knew what her answer for him would be, but what she did know, was that she had to be really bad in order to allow Anna to take the lead back, what she wasn't sure about anymore, was whether she wanted to let her cousin win.

"Ladies, you're up." Spencer handed her the buzzer and she smiled at him. "First question, how does your partner drink his coffee."

"That's easy. He doesn't drink coffee." She said soon after her buzzer went off. "He drinks sugar with a side of coffee, no creamer. Eighty percent sugar, twenty percent coffee."

"That is so mean to say! But it's true." Spencer agreed.

"How are you a doctor and drink so much sugar?"

"Not that kind of doctor." He clarified to the man.

"I have no idea what that means! Next question, what is the thing your partner is most proud of?"

"His job. Spencer loves helping people and using his knowledge to reunite families, he's the bravest guy I know." She smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

It was no surprise Anna was not content with the results, as the end was a 23-4 in favor of Spencer and her. As soon as the game was finished she knew that she had basically carved her own grave.

"That is not fair, they are not even really dating!" Her cousin screamed, "it's all a lie!"

"What?"

"Yeah, I know your little secret, I overheard you and Nicole talking about how Spencer was not really your boyfriend and how he didn't actually have dyslexia!"

"I-" She didn't know what to say, how had she not seen her? How could she let this happen?

"First of all, I think it is very inconsiderate of you to suggest that my dyslexia is not real. I have fought so hard for such a long time to ensure my condition didn't prevent me from succeeding, going as far as getting a Ph.D. in mathematics, for someone to simply come and question my hard work." Spencer said, seemingly very upset. "Second of all, this woman right here is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will not sit here and tolerate you calling her a liar. We are in love with each other, and you as her cousin should be happy about it. Yet you seem so upset about her finding someone, it seems to me you're jealous, but what do I know, it's not like I can understand human behavior or anything. Oh, wait." He said, he took her hand and pulled her as close to him as she could. "Just leave my girlfriend alone, you took her sloppy second and married him, so what more can you want from her?"

The room fell silent, everyone eyed Spencer and Anna, trying to grasp what had just happened. "You and I both know you're lying, you two are not a real couple, you are just trying to ruin this weekend for me."

"Really, not a real couple? Then how did we end up destroying you at trivia? You made the questions Anna, I had no idea what was on them, you did. And I am not the one wearing a wedding ring. So my question is, how do you marry someone without knowing their proudest moment, or their Starbucks order?"

"Well, how come no one has ever seen you two kiss? You can learn facts about each other but that doesn't really make you a couple."

"You want to see a kiss? Fine." She turned and pulled Spencer's lips to hers. She let herself enjoy the moment, really enjoy Spencer's kissing skills, not because she wanted to or anything, but rather because that is how she should kiss him, there was no way anyone would have any doubt about them if the kiss looked authentic. Which it did, it also might have felt a little more authentic than it should but now was no the time to dwell on that.

Spencer kissed her back, creating an atmosphere in which her cousin's word didn't matter any longer, in which the humiliation her family had put her through was nothing worth thinking of, and the fact that both of them had such deep knowledge about each other only fueled it, melting her a little in her spot, she felt his teeth on her lower lip applying slight pressure and she couldn't help but wish they were by themselves right then and there.

"We get it! You guys want to take your clothes off, now please stop." Tyler's voice echoed, and the two doctors left each other's lips reluctantly, looking at him. "Now, can we please move on?"

"No! Not until they admit they are not really dating, and all this was a plot to humiliate me!" Anna screamed.

"You know what? I am not going to stand here and tolerate this behavior any longer. Bitchy Anna, you can whine all you want, but that will not change that I am with a man I love, and that loves me. I have let this family make me feel like less for long enough and I am done doing so. You can all go fuck yourselves because I am done with each and every single one of you. You allowed this crazy brat to humiliate me and treat me like I was less for long enough. Let's go home, Spencer." She grabbed him by the hand and exited the house, giving her family the middle finger before she banged the door. She walked to their cabin and gathered her stuff, him following suit. As soon as they were in the car and far enough away, she pulled over and sighed, coming down from her adrenaline rush.

"In the wise words of Penelope Garcia, that was hot," Spencer said.

"What was?"

"Everything." They laughed for a couple of minutes, the scene she had just created replaying in her mind. "I am so proud of you."

"Why? Because I gave my uncle Ernie the middle finger?"

"Because you stood up for yourself."

"Yeah, well even if she was right, I tend to get a little too angry when people call me a liar or get in my way."

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled, "How did it go, oh yes, 'Nu-uh bruh, I know you didn't just interrupt me mid-sentence.' And then you commented how a man who wore sweaters in the middle of July was not going to cut you off."

"I am so sorry about that; I was just so used to being cut off I didn't want it to be a thing at work."

"It's okay, I understand. I began cutting people off because that's what most people did to me when I spoke."

"Well, that's dumb. I love hearing your facts, you have all this knowledge, and you chose to share it, people should be grateful for it."

"Thank you, I appreciate that." He smiled, "Speaking of facts, our chances of getting murdered will increase by the minute if we continue to sit on the side of the road."

"Right, forgot about that!" She turned the car back on. "Let's go home, Spencer." As his apartment complex became clear, she slowed down, making a stop right in front of it. "Thank you for coming with me this weekend, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, that's what friends are for." Before he moved to get out of the car, she planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "What was that for?"

"For being the best fake boyfriend and real friend a girl could ask for." She smiled at him, so grateful for his existence. "I will see you tomorrow morning at 5:45 am sharp. Goodnight Spencer."

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow." He opened the door and walked out, waving to her before he entered his building. She sat there for a couple of minutes, taking in the past weekend. She knew her mother wouldn't let her get away with her actions, but right now that didn't matter, Spencer Reid had told her he was proud of her, he had even used the term hot which in itself was hot because she never even imagined he used that type of vocabulary.

Regardless, she stood up for herself, she let Anna have it, and Spencer was proud of her. It seemed like a win-win. She drove home, a smile on her face.

[fluffmugger]

I haven't read Good Omens but I just got done watching the show and I'm confused on one point: what was behind Aziraphale's decision to not tell Crowley he knew where the antichrist was? I thought it was because he didn't want Crowley to kill him but he later petitions heaven to do just that. What did I miss? Why did he keep that information to himself when before they were trying to find the antichrist together?

He does try to tell Crowley, as in the book. However, at the time Crowley’s dealing with Hastur and Ligur  (well more accurately mexican standoffing against Hastur). So:  1) he tries to be a Good Angel, then fucks that shit off and 2) calls Crowley and that phone convo goes nowhere, then 3) Aziraphale runs face first into Shadwell, tries to stop him from stepping into the communication circle, accidently does so himself, utters the best fuck in the history of mankind and discorporates. The sequence from the book: 

Aziraphale was dithering. He’ d been dithering for some twelve hours. His nerves, he would have said, were all over the place. He walked around the shop, picking up bits of paper and dropping them again, fiddling with pens. He ought to tell Crowley. No, he didn’t. He wanted to tell Crowley. He ought to tell Heaven. He was an angel, after all. You had to do the right thing. It was built-in. You see a wile, you thwart. Crowley had put his finger on it, right enough. He ought to have told Heaven right from the start. But he’d known him for thousands of years. They got along. They nearly understood one another. He sometimes suspected they had far more in common with one another than with their respective superiors. They both liked the world, for one thing, rather than viewing it simply as the board on which the cosmic game of chess was being played. Well, of course, that was it. That was the answer, staring him in the face. It’d be true to the spirit of his pact with Crowley if he tipped Heaven the wink, and then they could quietly do something about the child, although nothing too bad of course because we were all God’s creatures when you got down to it, even people like Crowley and the Antichrist, and the world would be saved and there wouldn’t have to be all that Armageddon business, which would do nobody any good anyway, because everyone knew Heaven would win in the end, and Crowley would be bound to understand. Yes. And then everything would be all right. There was a knock at the shop door, despite the CLOSED sign. He ignored it.Getting in touch with Heaven for two-way communications was far more difficult for Aziraphale than it is for humans, who don’t expect an answer and in nearly all cases would be rather surprised to get one. He pushed aside the paper-laden desk and rolled up the threadbare bookshop carpet. There was a small circle chalked on the floorboards underneath, surrounded by suitable passages from the Cabala. The angel lit seven candles, which he placed ritually at certain points around the circle. Then he lit some incense, which was not necessary but did make the place smell nice.And then he stood in the circle and said the Words. Nothing happened. He said the Words again. Eventually a bright blue shaft of light shot down from the ceiling and filled the circle. A well-educated voice said, “Well?” “It’s me, Aziraphale.” “We know,” said the voice. “I’ve got great news! I’ve located the Antichrist! I can give you his address and everything!” There was a pause. The blue light flickered. “Well?” it said again. “But, d'you see, you can ki—can stop it all happening! In the nick of time! You’ve only got a few hours! You can stop it all and there needn’t be the war and everyone will be saved!” He beamed madly into the light. “Yes?” said the voice. “Yes, he’s in a place called Lower Tadfield, and the address—” “Well done,” said the voice, in flat, dead tones. “There doesn’t have to be any of that business with one third of the seas turning to blood or anything,” said Aziraphale happily. When it came, the voice sounded slightly annoyed. “Why not?” it said. Aziraphale felt an icy pit opening under his enthusiasm, and tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. He plunged on: “Well, you can simply make sure that—” “We will win, Aziraphale.” “Yes, but-” “The forces of darkness must be beaten. You seem to be under a misapprehension. The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it. We have been waiting a long time, Aziraphale.” Aziraphale felt the coldness envelop his mind. He opened his mouth to say, “Do you think perhaps it would be a good idea not to hold the war on Earth?” and changed his mind. “I see,” he said grimly. There was a scraping near the door, and if Aziraphale had been looking in that direction he would have seen a battered felt hat trying to peer over the fanlight. “This is not to say you have not performed well,” said the voice. “You will receive a commendation. Well done.” “Thank you,” said Aziraphale. The bitterness in his voice would have soured milk. “I’d forgotten about ineffability, obviously.” “We thought you had.” “May I ask,” said the angel, “to whom have I been speaking?” The voice said, “We are the Metatron.”* “Oh, yes. Of course. Oh. Well. Thank you very much. Thank you.” Behind him the letterbox tilted open, revealing a pair of eyes. “One other thing,” said the voice. “You will of course be joining us, won’t you?” “Well, er, of course it has been simply ages since I’ve held a flaming sword—” Aziraphale began. “Yes, we recall,” said the voice. “You will have a lot of opportunity to relearn.” “Ah. Hmm. What sort of initiating event will precipitate the war?” said Aziraphale. “We thought a multi-nation nuclear exchange would be a nice start.” “Oh. Yes. Very imaginative.” Aziraphale’s voice was flat and hopeless. “Good. We will expect you directly, then,” said the voice. “Ah. Well. I’ll just clear up a few business matters, shall I?” said Aziraphale desperately. “There hardly seems to be any necessity,” said the Metatron. Aziraphale drew himself up. “I really feel that probity, not to say morality, demands that as a reputable businessman I should-” “Yes, yes,” said the Metatron, a shade testily. “Point taken. We shall await you, then.”The light faded, but did not quite vanish. They’re leaving the line open, Aziraphale thought. I’m not getting out of this one. “Hallo?” he said softly, “Anyone still there?” There was silence. Very carefully, he stepped over the circle and crept to the telephone. He opened his notebook and dialed another number. After four rings it gave a little cough, followed by a pause, and then a voice which sounded so laid back you could put a carpet on it said, “Hi. This is Anthony Crowley. Uh. I—” “Crowley!” Aziraphale tried to hiss and shout at the same time, “Listen! I haven’t got much time! The—” “—probably not in right now, or asleep, and busy, or something, but—” “Shutup! Listen! It was in Tadfield! It’s all in that book! You’ve got to stop—” “—after the tone and I’ll get right back to you. Chow.” “I want to talk to you now—” BeeeEEeeeEEeee “Stop making noises! It’s in Tadfield! That was what I was sensing! You must go there and—” He took the phone away from his mouth. “Bugger!” he said. It was the first time he’d sworn in more than four thousand years. Hold on. The demon had another line, didn’t he? He was that kind of person. Aziraphale fumbled in the book, nearly dropping it on the floor. They would be getting impatient soon. He found the other number. He dialed it. It was answered almost immediately, at the same time as the shop’s bell tingled gently. Crowley’s voice, getting louder as it neared the mouthpiece, said, “ — really mean it. Hallo?” “Crowley, it’s me!” “Ngh.” The voice was horribly noncommittal. Even in his present state, Aziraphale sensed trouble. “Are you alone?” he said cautiously. “Nuh. Got an old friend here.” “Listen-!” “Awa’ we ye, ye spawn o’ hell!” Very slowly, Aziraphale turned around.

Shadwell was trembling with excitement. He’d seen it all. He’d heard it all. He hadn’t understood any of it, but he knew what people did with circles and candlesticks and incense. He knew that all right. He’d seen The Devil Rides Out fifteen times, sixteen times if you included the time he’ d been thrown out of the cinema for shouting his unflattering opinions of amateur witchfinder Christopher Lee. The buggers were using him. They’ d been making fools out o’ the glorious traditions o’ the Army. “I’ll have ye, ye evil bastard!” he shouted, advancing like a moth-eaten avenging angel. “I ken what ye be about, comin’ up here and seducin’ wimmen to do yer evil will!” “I think perhaps you’ve got the wrong shop,” said Aziraphale. “I’ll call back later,” he told the receiver, and hung up. “I could see what yer were aboot,” snarled Shadwell. There were flecks of foam around his mouth. He was more angry than he could ever remember. “Er, things are not what they seem—” Aziraphale began, aware even as he said it that as conversational gambits went it lacked a certain polish. “I bet they ain’t!” said Shadwell triumphantly. “No, I mean-” Without taking his eyes off the angel, Shadwell shuffled backwards and grabbed the shop door, slamming it hard so that the bell jangled. “Bell,” he said. He grabbed The Nice and Accurate Prophecies and thumped it down heavily on the table. “Book” he snarled. He fumbled in his pocket and produced his trusty Ronson. “Practically candle!” he shouted, and began to advance. In his path, the circle glowed with a faint blue light. “Er,” said Aziraphale, “I think it might not be a very good idea to—” Shadwell wasn’t listening. “By the powers invested in me by virtue o’ my office o’ Witchfinder,” he intoned, “I charge ye to quit from this place—” “You see, the circle—” “—and return henceforth to the place from which ye came, pausin’ not to—” “—it would really be unwise for a human to set foot in it without—” “—and deliver us frae evil—” “Keep out of the circle, you stupid man!” “—never to come again to vex—” “Yes, yes, but please keep out of—” Aziraphale ran toward Shadwell, waving his hands urgently. “- returning NAE MORE!” Shadwell finished. He pointed a vengeful, black-nailed finger. Aziraphale looked down at his feet, and swore for the second time in five minutes. He’d stepped into the circle. “Oh, fuck,” he said.There was a melodious twang, and the blue glow vanished. So did Aziraphale.

* The Voice of God. But not the voice of God. A entity in its own right. Rather like a Presidential spokesman.