#anyway i'm gonna get things done one way or another

[kouzih]

Freak. (pt2)

Nam-gyu ( Player 124 ) x gn!reader .ᐟ

warnings : insulting, spitting/saliva/drooling, biting, fingering, smut obviously, there's probably more but i'm too lazy to write 'em all..

tags,, @gongyoosgf , @dolion87

(cheers y'all!! 🥂) no proofread sorry, might have typos :(

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ You woke up with a headache, you hadn't been able to sleep for half the night anyway. Most people were still asleep, a good thing. You didn't see any reason to get out of your bed, your foot would naturally follow his path. Thinking back to the last night, you realize that your cheeks are starting to warm up. It's as if your sleep hasn't affected your recovery that much. But you can't get anything done by sleeping any more, so you figured you could use the bathroom.

You rubbed your eyes as you lazily threw your sheets aside, trying to walk down the metal stairs as quietly as you could so as not to wake the others. When you're at the bottom of the stairs, you arch your back to stretch. Causing a tiny whimper to come out of your mouth. You looked around to see if anyone else would stand up and go to the bathroom, but it looked like you would be the only one. At least there won't be anyone to bother you. As you make your way inside, you realize that there is no one. As you slowly close your door, you feel another hand holding, causing you to lighten your grip.

"Oh- sorry. I didn't think anyone would come." You mumbled, turning your head towards the sink in front of you. You turned on the tap,leaned over and let the cold water hit your face, hoping it would wake you up. But you couldn't hear any footsteps... except the sound of the door closing again. When you looked from the edge of the mirror, you saw Nam-gyu walking with a jumping gait, his head imitating the rhythm. You felt your body suddenly freeze there, your hands supporting themselves on the edges of the sink as water beads fell down from your face, the wet ends of your hair sticking to your face.

You heard him click his tongue, his head tilting slightly to the left side as he tucked the hair behind his ear. "You're soaked for me huh?" You squint your eyes and adjust your position so that you can see him more easily. Your eyes didn't stop watching him in the mirror as his steps approached behind you, his expression was indecipherable. Before you could open your mouth, he gave a breathy chuckle. "Don't even use your words to waste my time," One of his hands moves towards your elbow and slowly caresses it until it reaches your hand. "After last night, you didn't oven come to thank me.." The ends of his hair brushed behind your ear, making you feel smaller underneath him. "Not gonna lie, I'm hurt."

He was looking at you from the mirror and making eye contact, you felt your eyes tremble. One of his hands was lifting your cardigan up, allowing him to touch your bare skin. You wanted to turn your face to him but he didn't let you. Pressing his chest against your back, he dug his nails into your waist hard enough to make you hiss. "Nuh-uh..what do you think you're doing?" He rested his face on your shoulder, his eyes were examining your body in the mirror. His knee caressed the side of your leg, a breathless moan escaping your lips as you made room for him to reach your neck. Your eyes went to the corner of the mirror, the pinkness on your face making the man on top of you enjoy it even more.

As soon as the grip on your hand momentarily left, your eyes began searching for his hand. Only to realize he began playing with the zipper on the top of your cardigan. His hands shake the small metal lightly but his eyes weren't measuring your reaction, it was like he was busy with something else on his mind.. A barely audible sigh and your murmur cause him to lift his head. Caressing the top of his fingers, you lower the zipper, lazily brushing the fabric and hair around your neck back, revealing bare skin.

"You better be quick.."

"Relax, bitch." One finger went under your chin while the other wrapped around your throat. "You won't even realize how time passed."

You closed your eyes tightly, silently begging him to leave you alive. The hand that grips your bare skin slides up and down with such force that it touches the bones of your ribcage. He tilts your head even further to the side, forcing you to hold a very uncomfortable position. Nam-gyu's warm breath against your skin as he inhales your scent causes your body to shiver. His grip keeps you standing as your hands slip from the sink due to stress. His tongue tastes your neck, and the feeling of a few bites makes you part your lips. "M-mhm.." You couldn’t hold back your breathless moans anymore, noticing that your voice was rising Nam-gyu increased the pressure on his knee and mumbles something under his breath, but you were so overwhelmed that you couldn’t hear it at all. He starts to press his chest harder as he sucks on your neck, you could swear you felt a bone in your back.

The moment you opened your eyes, you heard Nam-gyu let out a loud moan. Definitely not loud enough to reach others. He insults himself under his breath as he removes his hand from your chin. A few drops of sweat run down the corners of your chin due to overwhelm, and you have a chance to swallow as you forcefully hold back your tears. Nam-gyu's hand goes to his own mouth, wrapping his fingers tightly around it so that his voice cannot be heard. Even if you try to fix your position, all you could was letting your forehead hit the mirror. Nam-gyu, on the other hand, took his hand out from under your t-shirt and started to move downwards.

The moment you realized that he was going to do what was on your mind, you quickly tried to lift yourself up by leaning one hand on the mirror, but when you felt a finger inside you, you could only cover your mouth and let out a muffled moan. "Y-you cant just..mhm.." Without warning you, he added a second finger, curving his fingers inside you. "Thought you wanted me to be quick..bitch." Nam-gyu takes his hand off his mouth and grabs your waist, suddenly pulling your body. The fact that you look like you're falling apart just by his touch makes him even more turned on. Hissing at you between breaths, he twirls his fingers inside you in a way that almost makes you faint.

Just a few seconds before reaching heaven, Nam-gyu pulls his fingers out while sucking on his teeth. "Don't think I'll let you finish that easily. Not before you beg me." Before you could even answer him, you lose your balance and try to hold on to him. But you only cause him to fall onto his back. You try to support yourself with your hands, your head hitting his shoulder. "Motherfucker..are you being serious." Nam-gyu moves into a sitting position as he rub his head, you still feel his hardness underneath you since you’re sitting on his lap. Your eyes drift to a pill that has fallen from the side of his pocket, and as you furrow your eyebrows, you see his hand quickly grab the pill from the side.

"Don't even try." He spits in your face before you can open your mouth as he glares at you angrily, causing your head to shake slightly. "Your ass ain't deserve this reward. Useless.." After letting out an irritated breath, you reach for the hem of your cardigan to wipe your face, but he stops you by grabbing your wrist. Nam-gyu pulls your hand down as he looks at you from below, one eyebrow raised. Throwing his head back he rolls his eyes, throwing your wrist aside. "..Fuck, you won't let me cum, will ya?" As he chews his cheek, he remembers the pill in his hand. "..Good thing you're good at being a slut." Nam-gyu changes his position slightly so that he can place one leg behind you, placing your hands on his shoulders as your confused expression follows his movements. After placing the pill on the tip of your tongue, Nam-gyu opens his mouth slightly and tilts his head up slightly, a signal for you to suck on it.

After swallowing, your grip on his shoulders tightens, and you pin your knees to the sides of his waist. As you were about to taste his lips, he allows the pill to slide off into his mouth and pushes your head tightly against his lips from the back. You respond to his push beneath his muddled moans, one hand gripping his hair as you tilt your head to the side to have more access. Even though you keep your eyes tightly shut, Nam-gyu watches you with his eyes half-open. You could swear he was smiling into the kiss. As his tongue conquers yours, you suck into his tongue. A few pieces of the broken pill pass right into your mouth. Nam-gyu smothers you with sloppy kisses without even letting you swallow before he pulls his head back for a few seconds. A small chuckle falling from his lips as he licks his lips. He uses his free hand to lean himself against the door of the nearest stall as he watches you swallow, each other’s hot breaths hitting your faces.

The slightly wet, pulsating bone between your legs makes you tilt your head down. You couldn't figure out what your next move should be as he looked at you with a passionate gaze that you couldn't read. "Hah..nevermind." You suddenly crash onto his lips after his eyes glanced to the side, towards the door. Making him gasp and let out a shaky breath, you caused him to hit his head on the stall's door. You pull away for breath after a long kissing session, your lips parted as his saliva drools into yours.

Noticing the tense expression on your face, Nam-gyu pushes you back, leaning his head against the door behind him and taking deep breaths. A toothy smile forms on his face as he lets both hands fall to his sides. "Fucking hell.." As his eyes drift downward, a loud voice catches both of your attention.

"Nam-suuuu!! Where are you bro!?" As you look at him with wide eyes, he quickly pulls you to your feet with him. Nam-gyu opens the door behind him and pushes you in. You hear the sound of clothes crinkling as he clears his throat. He quickly turns on the water and lets it hit his face. You hear him taking heavy breaths as you put both hands on your mouth to try to control your breathing. "Fuck, fuck, fuck.." Nam-gyu, who was surprised when the door opened, lefts a nervous chuckle.

"Hey."

"The fuck happened bro..look at you man!" You witnessed their footsteps and conversation for a few minutes. Nam-gyu, who had lied about the water suddenly exploding in his face, cleared his throat before leaving. You let out a shaky breath, leaning your hands on the door behind you. "If I see that guy one more time..I swear to god-" You opened the door slowly, brushing the hair that was stuck to your face, and looked at yourself in the mirror.

He really did tore you apart.

Fuck.

[tpwk-formula1]

Hi could I please order this:

Lando Norris, Thick Crust, Red Sauce, Garlic, BBQ Chicken, Sun-dried tomatoes, Root beer, Water, Mango Smoothie, Yes

And could you maybe add a little age gap in there if that's possible. Thank you. 😌

AN: Kinda embassing I did this big ole thing saying 'IM BACK" and then proceeded not to actually be back. Anyways I'm writing this Friday the 10th so as you can see I am preparing myself. I don't know if Im back for sure for sure to be 100% honest my mental health has been declining and my drive to write has been lack. I have tomorrow off and I plan to write most of the day to get ahead of posts!

TW: daddy kink, kinda "ditzy" reader, unprotected sex, breeding kink, baby talk, creampie, slight edging talk, sugar daddy (KINDA)

WC: 1.4k

thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex garlic "I know you love it when I fill that pretty pussy with my cum" BBQ chicken “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby” sun dried tomatoes "Gonna look so pretty pregnant" root beer daddy kink water breeding kink mango smoothie baby trapping dessert yes served by Lando Norris

Y/N POV

"Lando, are we done at the shops?" I ask softly as we exit another shop Lando had managed to convince me to go into on our day out.

"What's got you in such a hurry?" Lando asks back smirk clearly knowing exactly what I'm wanting.

"Don't tease. You spent all morning between my thighs without release," I reply back in a low whisper making sure no one walking the Monaco streets can hear the very private conversation.

"Who's to say I'm gonna give you that release now," Lando says with a teasing smirk while we continued to walk towards where we had parked the car.

"Cause whether you admit it or not, you love watching me cum," I say with a smirk while opening the door to the McLaren and hoping in. Once I was seated in the passenger seat Lando leans down popping his head into the car before placing a small kiss on my lips.

"I do love watching the way your eyes roll into the back of your head when you cum for me," Lando whispers against my lips making me whine slightly and try to lean into Lando's lips for another kiss but he's pulling away slowly with a small laugh falling from his lips.

"You'll have to wait baby," Lando says in a teasing voice while closing the car door and making his way to the driver's side.

When we finally make it to Lando's apartment I'm unbuckling and ready to hope out the car before Lando had even put the car fully in park.

"Such a whore you're in this much of a hurry?" Lando says with a smirk making me roll my eyes and jump out of the car before rounding it to Lando's side and pulling him towards me.

Once Lando and I standing chest to chest my hands quickly find the back of his neck as I try to pull him towards me.

"Please daddy," I whine still trying to pull him towards me.

"Let's get inside the apartment first," Lando whispered back starting to show signs of being turned on.

We both quickly make our way up to the apartment my hand never leaving his and when we get inside the apartment Lando quickly has me pushed up against the door.

"Fuck, you look so fucking good in this dress," Lando groans against my lips while running his hands up and down my thighs.

"Thanks daddy, you bought it," I whisper back while letting a teasing laugh fall from my lips before finally pulling Lando in for the kiss I had been wanting for all day.

I moan into the kiss when I feel Lando's tongue tangle into mine. When Lando's hands wrap around the back of my thighs I jump into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist and letting him carry me into his bedroom.

“Gonna let me cum in you tonight? I know you wanna have my baby,” Lando groans against my lips making me whimper and nod.

While all of this had started as a friends with benefits with a bit of a sugar daddy twist we had quickly fallen into a routine that became clear we were each other's person and more than just a friend. Now being together for more than two years we have finally been able to play into our breeding kink.

"Please daddy. I wanna feel your cum filling up my pussy," I whimper back into his mouth. I can feel Lando grinding into my core through our clothes making me whimper.

"Please daddy, I can't take anymore teasing," I whine trying to grind my hips into him harder.

Lando finally sits up a bit and pulls his shirt off before pulling my dress up and off my body with a bit of my help. When he sees that I'm not wearing a bra or any panties under my dress Lando can't help the moan that leaves his lips.

"My pretty slut. You walked around all day letting your pussy juices drip down your thighs all day," Lando says with a smirk while letting his fingers lightly trail over my hardened nipple.

"You had me too flustered after this morning," I admit sheepishly trying to burry my face into his neck but Lando holds me back making sure I can see his smirk, before he plants a soft his on my lips before letting them trail down my jaw and neck.

"Oh Lan," I moan softly when his mouth finds one of my nipples. This only encourages Lando travel farther down my body and once his mouth finally touches my throbbing clit I can't the moan I let out.

"Fuck, already so wet for me," Lando says with a smirk while running his fingers through my drenched fold before dipping two of his thick fingers into my desperate hole.

"So good," I moan loudly when Lando's fingers graze my G-spot at the same time his tongue takes a long lick at my clit.

It didn't take long for Lando to bring me close to the edge given all the teasing Lando had put me through this morning. I knew he wasn't gonna let me cum that easy but I can't help the loud whine I let out when he pulls away from my desperate pussy.

"Lando, please! I need to cum," I whine trying to grind my hips up trying to get some kind of stimulation.

Lando finally gives into my pleas because he stands up for a split second to pull off his pants and boxers before climbing back into the bed and almost instantly running the hard tip of his thick cock through my folds before pushing in filling me up completely.

"Fuck, gonna look so pretty pregnant," Lando grunts while fucking into me at a harder pace clearly thinking about what I may look like when I get pregnant with his kids.

"Fuck daddy, harder," I moan arching my back off the bed slightly, letting Lando hit my G-spot at the new angle he is fucking me at.

"Fuck, I can feel you clenching around me. Tryna milk all my cum huh?" Lando grunts out teasing me slightly only driving me even closer to the edge.

"Yes daddy! Please can I cum," I beg feeling tears start to well up in my eyes from holding back from cumming for so long.

"Cum for me and then beg for my cum," Lando grunts making me whimper before I feel his fingers start to tease my clit throwing me over the edge almost instantly.

"Oh fuck, thank you daddy!" I cry out in a moan feeling my orgasm come in waves while Lando continues to milk every last bit of pleasure out of my body.

"Please fill me up with your cum," I beg softly letting my post orgasm haze set in. I can feel Lando's thrusts start to shutter before I feel one final thrust deep into my pussy and Lando filling me up with his warm cum.

"Mm, thank you, Lan," I mumble pulling Lando in for another kiss moaning when I feel one final rope shoot into my pussy.

"I know you love it when I fill that pretty pussy with my cum," Lando teases while pulling out of my pussy making me whimper slightly when I feel my pussy clench around nothing.

Lando quickly collects some of the cum from my leaking pussy before fucking it back into my pussy. I whimper when he grazes my G-spot before slipping his fingers out and teasing my clit for a split second before pulling away.

Lando leans down over my body and places a few soft kisses along my face before finding my lips.

"I love you," Lando tells me softly against my lips making me smile softly.

"I love you too!" I say back with a bright smile starting to spread across my face.

Lando climbs out of bed and finds a a clean towel coming back into the room and softly cleaning me up while he praises me for doing to good.

Once he's cleaned me up enough he grabs a pair of clean boxers and throws them on while finding one of his shirts and making his way back to the bed and helping put it on me.

Once we both get settled into bed I can help but feel a sense of contentment wash over me.

"Will you finally move in officially?" Lando asks softly while running his fingers through my hair.

"Only when you finally get me pregnant," I tease with a smirk on my face. Lando just rolls his eyes and laughs lightly.

[loveafterdeath-if]

Update (more like me rambling than an actual update, tbh)

Hope y'all are doing alright! I saw my inbox filled with asks and kind words (y'all are the best, as always), and I'll start answering everything once I wrap up Chap 2, Part 2. I want to focus fully on writing so I can get you the whole chapter before March at least, haha.

I'm gonna start correcting what I've written so far to avoid ending up with 100k words to fix all at once. We're about 50% through Chap 2, Part 2 (38k words, but it'll probably hit 40k with corrections). There are branches that have messed with my brain because I wanted to include scenes for each RO, but I don't regret it. I love games with lots of replayability (is that how we say it?), so I want mine to offer that too.

Chap 2, Part 2 will have a ton of branches for each RO, plus the option if you're not pursuing anyone, so it might take a while to get that full chapter out. I honestly don't know how other authors keep track of so many branches! I've always respected them as a reader/player, but being the one writing makes me wanna hand my future kids over to those incredible authors…

On top of that, I'm dealing with another issue. I've been writing so much that I think I'm slowly slipping into that "They gaze at her and say," "They take the paper and it falls" vibe (is that even a thing? Idk). You know, the kind of writing with no real description. I find myself double-checking everything to make sure the descriptions are 'good,' and I think I'll just play some IFs when I got time, to help me regain my groove without turning phrases all weird (I hate reading books, that's why I'm gonna play IFs). This is making me slow down a bit.

I've been pushing myself to write at least 4-5k words each day for the past 3 (4?) months, and I think I shouldn’t have done that. I'm putting pressure on myself without even realizing it. It's only when I end up with 'only' 3k words that I start feeling upset and push through to hit minimum 4k. I'm feeling good for now and don't mind writing that much, but I really don't want to wake up one day and boom—burnout. A Ko-fi member and some folks in my inbox have kindly reminded me to take breaks and take my time, so I think I'll slow down a bit. Like, maybe aim for 3k words?

I've been writing for years, (started on Wattpad in French, and yeah, it was… something) so no worries about the game going on hiatus or anything. I love writing, especially interactive stuff—so basically IFs, haha. Just wanted to keep you in the loop!

Anyway, this ended up way longer than I intended. Stay safe, don't forget to eat your greens, stay hydrated, and all that! <3

[lumine-no-hikari]

The "how" is easy. There are plenty of real-world examples; I'm one of them. Hi! How's it going? 😁💖

Step 1: You limit the number of people the child is allowed to talk to. There are lots of ways of doing this. One way is to teach the child that strangers are dangerous and not to be trusted, ever. Another way is to teach the child that no one would want anything to do with them anyway; reinforce this idea by teaching the child that the only reason that you deal with them is because they have to, out of obligation. Another way is to go out of your way to make sure that any of the people the child has access to thinks that the child is repulsive, frightening, or bad in some way so that they won't want to talk to them even if the child does try to reach out. Reinforce this idea by telling the child that no one would believe them if they told anybody, anyway. For Sephiroth, this was easy to do; every aspect of his life was monitored by Shinra; canon is making this increasingly clear.

Step 2: You make the child believe that nobody is coming to save them from their torment, even if there was anyone they could talk to or anyone who would believe them even if they did talk. This was especially easy to do to Sephiroth; he was raised a an orphan, told that his parents weren't around and/or dead. A common means of enforcing this idea is by saying, "if anyone wanted you, you wouldn't be here with me in the first place."

Step 3: You make the child believe that they're fundamentally unlovable and a burden. Make them feel like their existence was a mistake somehow. Again, for Sephiroth, this was easy to do. He looks different from the average person and he can do more than them, too. So all you have to do is make the child think that qualities like these are freakish, disgusting, and inhuman. Then you use what you did in Step 1 (limiting who the child can talk to) as evidence - "see? if you were lovable, you'd have friends trying to help you, but not even your own mother and father will lift a finger. nobody cares, because nobody loves you, so shut the fuck up."

Step 4: You make the child believe that the only way they can make up for being "unlovable" and a "burden" is by being "useful". "If you're gonna be freakishly intelligent, you might as well use that to my advantage. Here, learn how to do all these things in one try, despite the fact that they're wildly developmentally inappropriate for your age and neurotype. Better learn fast, or else I'm gonna hurt ya." Or something to that effect. And they'll believe they deserve it, if you've done Step 3 properly. Many kind, soft, and obedient autistic/gifted kids fall for this ruse, especially in the absence of other sources of support, which was already taken care of in Step 1.

Step 5: You make the child believe that their lot in life is what's normal and expected. Feed them the notion that everybody else goes through the same stuff, and that the only one complaining is the child. "What the fuck is wrong with you, kid? GET IT TOGETHER." Sephiroth was raised in Shinra. Everyone was doing the SOLDIER thing or the science thing. Step 5 is made more effective by thorough application of Step 1 and Step 2.

Step 6: You teach the child that it's weak to complain about their treatment. This is easy to do if you put together Step 1 and Step 5. Incorporate Step 4 to make the child think that the best way they can be useful or strong or whatever is to put up and shut up.

Step 7: Hurt them - badly - whenever they deviate from your expectations. Harm their bodies. Destroy or take away their possessions. Remove their access to what few friends they do have. Use verbal abuse, gaslighting, brandishing of anger, lies, and other forms of manipulation to keep them in line. This will keep them feeling small, worthless, and powerless, no matter how capable they truly and objectively are.

And voila. You'll notice that these things are rather cult-like in their application. It is a NASTY fucken web of lies, and it is very, VERY easy to keep a naturally kind, gentle, and obedient child trapped in a box like this. I had no idea that any of what I went through was abnormal until I was around 22 years old. I'm almost 35 now; I get a little better every day. I get a little further away from the old stuff every day. Proving that is the entire point of the letters I write.

...Writing this out has brought back a lot of unpleasant memories of my own treatment, growing up. But that's okay. In addition to being a real-world example of how easy it is to treat a child like this and have them remain quiet about it, I am also a real-world example of the fact that it's possible to recover from all this.

...As he says, the cycle can be broken with just a little compassion - though ideally this compassion should be offered up by someone with robust boundary skills and a willingness to gently hold others accountable for their maladaptive behaviors (though it's important to note that the "maladaptive" behaviors are NOT maladaptive inside the abusive environment, and that it can be hard for survivors to distinguish between abusive environments and wholesome environments, especially when caught in the middle of a flashback, and especially when they drop the ball on their food/water/sleep!). That's really, truly all it takes. A wholesome life is not out of reach for anyone.

The significance of Hojo training/testing Sephiroth’s combat ability, as well as Sephiroth’s statement in chapter 1:

….cannot be understated. Hojo does not engage with the other SOLDIERs, not even Hollander’s “second-rate” projects. This means that to test the limits of SOLDIER’s abilities, only Sephiroth would be a worthy candidate.

I am writing a long post on it, but the hint that Sephiroth was indeed Hojo’s favorite lab rat for testing the limits of SOLDIER is a confirmation of ancient fanon, if true.

Zack experiences hints of what Sephiroth was likely raised doing in Crisis Core, when the player chooses to complete quests for Hojo.

These quests include the disposal of monsters in the lab cells, testing combat ability against extremely dangerous specimens, and painful physical enhancement inside Hojo’s famous fusion pod.

(I will go into detail in my other post, but if these hints are intentional, my theory on why Sephiroth has a visceral, violent reaction and immediate willingness to associate the mako-infused humans inside the Nibelheim reactor pods with his own self and creation could end up being bolstered. This would also explain his sudden pain and memory in the Halloween event).

While some of the experiments of Hojo are portrayed as almost funny because of Zack’s light-hearted (but naive) enthusiasm and his unusual level of endurance, there is something disturbing in the implications of how Hojo conducted his research on SOLDIER combat ability. Most likely all on Sephiroth.

”Sephiroth, next test. I want to see your fighting strength when working in a team.”

It becomes more disturbing knowing that there was no consent from a child raised by Shinra to be their strongest warrior and put in the public eye. It’s similar to Deepground, but in this case, the child was somehow told or taught to not speak of the unethical manner in which he was raised.

How did Shinra achieve this so flawlessly? And will Sephiroth find a way to share his experiences with Angeal, who was in a small way, with him in spirit at one time?

[pallanophblargh]

You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.

I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.

Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[mirrortouchedsea]

dark. that was all he had ever known. cold, dark, damp. the boy shivers in the small room, painfully alone, only a book and his magic to keep him company. he tries not to use his magic very often, though. it seemed that the people above knew when he used it and they always always always refused to give him food until he “woke up” next, if they bothered to keep track of that. maybe this time he’ll learn their lesson. the boy whispers his spell, cur memini, and creates a small light in his fingers. this is the only spell he can cast safely, too small to be noticeable by the people above. he holds his hand over the fading book on the floor. the boy can’t read the letters on the page, but this book has pictures. he flips through it again, careful of the pages that were falling apart, admiring the figure in armor who always comes to rescue the figure in the tower, cut off from the world, just like him. the boy frequently dreams of a figure in armor coming to save him, despite the years he has spent alone. dark and cold and damp. 

the room the boy lives in, the only room he has memories of, is empty besides himself and the book. sometimes the people above would give him water and stale bread to eat, and then there was a cup and a dirty plate, but otherwise it was just the boy and the book. the boy knows why the people above have locked him away, they told him that he was a freak of nature, unnatural, dangerous. but the boy could only make lights in his palm, and that wasn’t very dangerous at all. he thinks to himself that the people above are the dangerous ones, locking away a child for something like this, but he can’t say that out loud. he doesn’t want to die again. 

the boy’s stomach grumbles and he curls in on himself, the light in his palm fades out. he longs to see the sun again, to play with the other children he can hear through the ceiling, to be normal. the people above must have decided to punish him again, though, as he doesn’t remember the last time he had anything to drink, to eat. his stomach would eat through his skin and he would still wake up the next day. why can’t he just die once and for all and be rid of the pain? why is the world keeping him here? why was he even born?

the boy closes his eyes, and falls asleep. maybe this time it won’t hurt so much. 

--- 

how long has he been here? the boy doesn’t keep track of time. he knows he’s died at least a dozen times, but how long does it take for a dozen lifetimes to pass? 

--- 

a clattering on the floor wakes the boy up. the people above decided he can eat today. stale bread and water again, but better than nothing to the boy. he crawls closer to it, listening to the door. it closes and the voices disappear. where was the sound of the lock? did they forget? 

the boy scarfs down his food and water before tiptoeing up the stairs. he doesn’t hear any voices, but he needs to be careful. he doesn’t remember what the above looks like, but he needs to leave. he needs to be free. 

slowly, quietly, he opens the door. it’s dark on the other side of it, but still much, much brighter than his room ever was. he closes his eyes but keeps the door open. breathe in, and out. opens his eyes again, blinking the brightness away. pushes the door further open. steps on the hard ground outside the door. he’s so close. closes the door quietly. turns around and holds his breath. where was outside? pick a direction and go. his legs hurt. turn the corner, listen for voices. voices are dangerous, get away from the voices. whisper his spell, create a small light. keep moving keep moving keep moving. window ahead. break it? open it? is he strong enough? lift the window up. too weak. voices coming. hurry hurry hurry must get out now. whisper spell again, hand on window. break the glass and jump through it. cuts on feet cuts on legs deal with that later. voices getting louder voices shouting. run run RUN. 

the boy runs away from the building, away from his room. freedom is so close. first get to the trees, then… he hasn’t thought that far, but he will find a way. gunshots from the house. he runs faster, must get to the trees, must hide, must be free. cur memini, he whispers again, crossing into the forest. his spell can make lights and now break windows, but he needs it to protect him at this moment. run run run until the voices are quiet again. his legs are giving out, but he needs to run. he can’t die now or they’ll find him. keep running. bare feet on sticks and stones and sharp things, everything hurts but he can’t stop. he keeps running until the sun comes up. his heart beats out of his chest. 

--- 

when he wakes up he doesn’t know how much time has passed. his heart beats fast and he sits up. did they find him? he looks around. trees, rocks, a gurgling stream. he’s free. he’s free. he sighs and lays back down. how far did he run? he needs to go further. away from other people, away from anyone who might lock him up again. he sits up again and forces himself to stand and walk towards the sound of the stream. he can start there. water is important, and he might be able to get food from the little stream too. 

his first drink of the stream water is icy cold, quenching his lifelong thirst in just a few swallows. he washes his face with it, removing years of sweat and grime. he wants to sit by the stream forever if only he could, but the people will find him eventually if he doesn’t keep moving. but he allows himself a few minutes to bathe in the water, savoring the feeling of water on his skin. his stomach still growls, wanting something more filling than the freezing water of the stream, but that would have to wait. he needs to get his bearings. 

the light of the outside world is almost blinding, he realizes. the sun and the snow made it almost impossible to see anything. he should get up above the trees. can he even do that? cur memini, he says, trying to get his voice to be louder than a whisper. his feet float a few inches above the ground. he closes his eyes and says his spell again with more conviction. Cur Memini. he feels himself shooting into the air before he opens his eyes. he can see the forest stretch out for miles around him. trees covered in snow in every direction. if the old house is behind him, he should fly straight ahead, towards the forests on the mountains. tentatively, he leans forward and focuses his magic on keeping himself afloat. 

it doesn’t take much to exhaust what little magic he has, but he’s put more distance between himself and the old house and the people above now. he should be safe to rest, truly rest. but first he should find something to eat. is there anything to eat out here? something in his head tells him to look a little closer to the ground. to his left. there’s a bush full of berries. he’s never had anything but stale bread, and doesn’t know what to expect as he crushes one with his teeth. 

the sensation overtakes him for a brief moment. the berry is sweet, yet tart, and delicious. it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten and he thanks the little voice in his head for the information as he picks several more berries from the bush. the juice runs down his chin and makes him sticky, but it feels good. he feels truly alive for the first time. 

once he’s finished picking the bush clean of its fruits, he needs to find a place to rest, to stay warm. he’s shivering in the intense cold of the north, but it’s nothing he isn’t used to. the room was never very warm after all. he listens to the little voices calling out to him, guiding him towards a small cave, instructing him on how to make a small fire to warm himself up. a small rabbit brushes against his leg and he swears one of the voices is coming from it. and with the fire going, he thanks the rabbit before it hops away back into the snow. he would be roasting that same rabbit over the fire a few months later. 

the boy can’t stay in the cave forever though. as days turn to weeks turn to months, he worries that the people above are getting closer to him. they’ll put him back in that cold, dark, damp room again. he needs to keep moving. he has been practicing his magic, casting stronger spells, and he needs to be ready to fly. it's been long enough. cur memini he says holding his hand out. a rough stick with twigs tied to the end flies into his hand. it’s a poor excuse for what he understands is a broom, but it will work. he climbs onto it and focuses. cur memini cur memini cur memini. he lifts off the ground and watches as the branches of the trees get shorter and eventually he passes above the treetops. 

he takes a moment to gather his bearings. he no longer remembers the direction the house was in, but going up is his best bet of staying away from the people above. he laughs, realizing that he is the one above them now. after a moment, he flies into the mountains. the small voices change into bigger, unfamiliar ones as he gets further into the mountain range. they tell him to hide, to stay away. he doesn’t listen. they cannot be more dangerous than the humans he is running from. 

the boy lands, still exhausted from using so much magic, but he was able to travel further this time. that has to count for something, surely. he gathers some sticks and looks for another cave to make his home in. the caves remind him too much of the room he left, so he chooses to stay close to the entrance, close to the light that reminds him he is free. the fire keeps the animals away, but the voices are curious about the new presence in their woods. they make him curious too. he should stay in the cave tonight though and regain his energy. maybe he can get some small game to fill his stomach before settling in for the night. he listens for a rabbit’s voice, or maybe a squirrel, anything that would be small enough to kill with his hands. 

at last, a small fox’s voice is heard nearby. he wonders if fox will taste different from the other game he’s eaten thus far. he lifts a hand-sized rock and slinks out of the cave towards the voice. it takes a few minutes to find the source, but the fox is curled under a tree, shivering, hungry, just like him. the boy hesitates before bludgeoning it and slinging the corpse over his shoulders. there are more foxes. he is much more important. 

the fox is only the first animal he hunts in those mountainous woods. he spends several years in that forest and eventually humans settle up there as well. the boy, or rather, the man now, has made a name for himself amongst the human populations of the north. he is no longer afraid of humans capturing him and locking him up. they are still terrified of him, but now he is in control of that terror. the hunters that left his territory alive whispered tales of the great wizard owen who inhabited the mountains and terrorized anyone who had the bad luck of running into him. 

all of this is perfectly fine with owen. eventually his reputation will grow beyond himself, encapsulating atrocities that were impossible for even someone as strong as oz to commit, but that would be a problem for future owen. for now, he is still young and living in his cave on the outskirts of a small village and scaring hunters who stray too far from their boundaries. the wolves don’t like these visitors either and gladly listen to owen’s lamentations. it keeps his hands clean of the bloodshed if he isn’t casting the spell himself. the wolves don’t care for owen either, but they respect him. and that is enough for owen. 

the first of the unwanted visitors was a young man, someone who wanted to provide for his family. he pleaded with owen and the wolves to let him go and he wouldn’t cause any problems. those pleas fell on deaf ears though as owen looked the man in the eyes. won’t your family be disappointed, he asked almost innocently, you don’t have anything to show for your efforts. the man stammered a response, they’d rather i come back alive with nothing than die trying to find food. is that so, owen reached out for the man’s chin, the distance between their faces was almost nothing. y-yes, sir, please just let me go and i won’t bother you anymore. owen grinned. oh i’m sure you won’t be causing us any trouble again. the wolves stalked out of the woods, drooling at the prospect of tearing a piece of that man for themselves. owen snapped his fingers, and they came running forward, only to stop mere inches from the now trembling man. there was a suspicious yellow stain in the snow beneath him. p-p-please sir, anything you ask, it’s yours! then make sure you tell the rest of your little village that this forest belongs to the great wizard owen. the man ran off, leaving behind a hunting rifle and a ratty sack. the rifle would be of use, but the sack became tinder for his fires. 

despite the warning from that first man, hunters continued to enter into owen’s territory. and one after the other, they ran off screaming with their tails between their legs. this should have annoyed owen, that people would ignore all of the warnings and stories that had started popping up about him, but it doesn’t. their fear feeds into his magic power, only making him stronger, and that is all fine with owen. he is no longer a weak child locked in the damp, dark basement, and he never will be again. 

[nobodybetterlookatme]

nah cuz I would pass away if someone asked me if I was into them 😭 but CONGRATS ON GETTING THE DATE!! I hate to say we told you so, but we definitely told you so 😌💅

Bro I literally short circuited lmaoooo like it was not cute and I almost died fr. But yeah, date secured ahskaksk y'all were right 😭 it still feels so surreal lmao I'm still vibrating about it

[savage-rhi]

🫂

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[phagodyke]

aouuugh my uterus......

[iraprince]

gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

[hms-no-fun]

Whats your stance on A.I.?

imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!

like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.

but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!

so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.

consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.

but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!

see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???

so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.

i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.

(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)

[yanderenightmare]

TW: yandere, noncon, size/strength difference

gn reader

Thinking about breaking things off with your fuck friend 'cause you feel he's been catching feelings you have no intention of pitching...

“Why.” He asked, and the cross you’d made on your fingers in a wish to avoid the entire conversation untangled with a sigh.

“Please, don’t act dumb.” You groaned, exasperated and slightly irked. “You know why….” 

“No. Tell me.” He argued, and you sighed again in regret of your own common decency – wishing you’d taken the entire break-off over text instead, or at the very least taken the time to think about what you would say or do if and when he got this way. 

“You...”

You hesitated, taking a second to decide whether or not you really ought to voice it out loud – not because you had any doubts of it being true – but because the man in front of you was still very much a large brawny beefcake with temper issues no matter your sneaking suspicion that he saw you as something more than just a fuck friend.

“You’re getting too...” You continued, still scrambling for better words. Coming up short. “Clingy.”

He paused, his expression going from searching to a mix of offended and scrutinous.

“Clingy?” He repeated, forced disbelief a present factor in his tone. “If I remember correctly, you’re the one who clings to me- screaming my name- begging me to cum inside you and-”

You cut his rant off with yet another sigh accompanied by a shake of your head. “That’s not what I mean by clingy. I’m sorry, I should have said emotional, and your comment just proved that.”

You folded your arms across your chest, watching him reel.

“Anyway, it doesn’t really matter. We’re done.” 

You left him on the sofa to go put your shoes back on – admonishing yourself for coming inside in the first place when you could have just as quickly done this on the doorstep and walked away.

“You're not going anywhere until we talk this through.” He followed, his stronger hand latching onto your upper arm in a grip that was unnecessarily harsh.

You didn’t really mind, though – it was his lack of charm that had charmed you to begin with – you only wished he’d remained that same savage he was and not gone all lovey-dovey soft on you.

“There's nothing to discuss.” You felt as though you were repeating yourself, getting more annoyed by the fact. “It was fun; now it isn't.” You underlined, looking back into his eyes, cringing when seeing the gloss of something that you really hoped wouldn’t amount to tears while you were still there.

“I'm gonna need more than that.” He said, the grip on your arm still kept firm with no inclination of letting up.

You didn’t really want things to get more awkward by asking him to let you go – feeling as though maintaining the position of strength was important so he not mistake your resolution.

He had a nasty habit of never taking you seriously.

“You’re being childish.” You stated.

“Childish?!”

His grip tightened with his outburst, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t have your heart jump to your throat.

"Let go of me." Your voice had significantly diminished.

"You think you can tease me like this and then tell me to piss off?” He seethed, your arm aching in the bruising grip he had on it as he pulled you close until your face was an inch from his. “Think again."

Your breath thinned under his glare, and you felt nearly too stiff to do anything except stare back up at him in wait.

“Calm down.” You tried, but it seemed choice words were too little too late to save you.

“I am calm.” He hissed back into your face before pulling you back to the sofa.

Throwing you down on your back – you didn’t even have the time to gasp before he was on top of you.

“Get off me-” You whined, your hands shooting forth – trying with all your might to heave him off, but ultimately amounting to nothing more than a slight annoyance to the much larger man on top.

“It's all about sex with you, right? You want to have fun, right?” He said in a craze, and you cringed while he leaned down to graze your chest with chin-stubble and lips, whispering at your peachfuzz until goosebumps rose. “So let's have some fun.”

“Stop it – I said I don't want to anymore – I’m being serious.” You tried, once again – appealing to his reason.

But it would seem he was beyond reason…

“Oh? You're being serious?” He mocked with a sneer and a laugh. “You don't look it. If you want me to stop so badly, then stop me. Come on~ try a little harder. Show me how serious you are.”

You’re not sure why you took him up on the challenge, as you’d long known of your differences in build – how you posed as much of a threat as a bug in a mason jar...

But even a bug will try to escape still after the lid has been sealed.

“Come on~ you're not even trying~” He grossly crooned, smiling at your pitiful attempt at twisting him off with the useless help of your silly hands – how your much smaller body writhed beneath his weight and tried wriggling free.

Laughing dryly, he took your hands by the wrists and pinned them to the cushion beneath you. Sagging over you, his breath fanned your lips.

“What was I to you, huh?” He asked in a murmur, his face blank but his eyes swirling. “Just a toy?”

You were afraid to breathe, only keeping your gaze terror-wide of what he might do – still grasping to fathom how he’d even felt possessed enough to do this much – confused as to how you’d missed the signs while having not a single clue what more he was capable of.

“Guess now you're my toy, huh...” He muttered coldly.

And you just couldn’t help the whimper that it tore from you – finally understanding exactly what position you were in.

The disorienting knowing of what was soon to happen dawned on you mercilessly – and you completely broke under the hefty weight it had. 

“Oh? You’ gonna cry now?” He scoffed before hissing. “That's cute, seeing as I’m the one who’s had his heart stepped on.”

“S-stop it, get off me-” You cried, whole body shaking where you squirmed to no use nor end.

“Not so cold-hearted now, are yah, fuckin' bitch?” Was all he had to say while leaning into where thick streams of tears rapidly ran down your cheeks in stingy streaks. “You scared?” He whispered in licks at your ear. “Gonna start begging, hm?”

You only shook – eyes squeezed tightly to a close.

“Nah…” His tone scraped, similar to how the shaven stubble on his chin scratched lightly against your neck as he started placing small kisses there despite your whines. “'Cause you want this too. I know you do.” He insisted. “You're just scared I'll break your little heart at some point.”

You’re breath hitched as his hands parted with its twin – leaving it to keep your wrists pinned by itself as the other one traveled down between your bodies to undo your zipper.

You wanted to say something, but you were too scared to – listening to him and his lovesick speech – full of so many things you feared could trigger much sicker things.

“But I promise you that no one’s heart is gonna break here.” He vowed, still with his lips pressed wetly against your throat. “Not yours or mine.”

BNHA – Bakugou, Shinso, Kirishima

JJK – Sukuna, Gojo

HQ – Kageyama, Kuro, Oikawa, Sakusa, Miya twins

BLLK – Reo, Isagi

AOT – Eren

[skrunksthatwunk]

why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.

[mwagneto]

hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator

🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow

not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option

🪺 magánügyek Follow

tengri forbid women do anything???

735 notes

🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.

8,572 notes

🐎 istván-rovására Follow

that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧

481 notes

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG

✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow

love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????

#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse

3,264 notes

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3

🏇 attila-népe Follow

cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you

🧺 lemezelő Follow

isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????

🏇 attila-népe Follow

you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)

🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow

Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

what the fuck happened to my post

19,276 notes

🪔 rakabonciás Follow

for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.

🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep

anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!

646 notes

🛐 mea-culpa Follow

It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp

#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse

198 notes

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

WRONG BLOG

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS

🪺 magánügyek Follow

ISTVÁN????????????? 💀