#anyway i'll delete this i'm sure i'll get some kind of hate message about it

[thelioncourts]

it's getting more and more difficult to engage in fandom as a large-scope community because the only thing that actually gains any kind of popularity is meme content created by people who 1) don't want to interact with the story as it's being presented 2) want to engage with dark content only when it fits the narrative they wish the entire story to have 3) truly have such a high level of media illiteracy that they view everything as a full-blown attack versus education/discussion. and it's frustrating because you'll see the most insanely inaccurate takes get regurgitated by the same 25 loud people who, in turn, influence the meme content that gets created (or the meme content is just being created by those same 25 loud people) and so the meme content is a direct reflection of the level of thought/analysis being put into said fandom and it makes the memes not even funny, just caricatures of what they could be. and everyone is so bent out of shape at the thought of being told they're incorrect, that they're wrong, that conversation is impossible because they're so determined to do anything to showcase their assumed superiority as opposed to learning and listening in any kind of capacity.

I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said by people much more eloquent than me, but it sucks so much watching stories that are truly complex and that have so much work put into them be reduced to twitter popularity controlled by people who don't know what they're talking about.

[thatanimeramenchick]

Yandere DOL Headcannons

So, I've been cursed by Tumblr. Thanks to you degenerates I now know about the existence of Degrees of Lewdity, and just spent the last two or three weeks of my life completely devoted to binge playing it. While I do have MAJOR problems with how um... "broad" some of the "fetishes" get I'd be lying if I said I didn't think it was a fun game. (And yes, I know you can turn them off, but why the frick is some of that crap even an option???? Just no. Right to prison.)

Anyway, this trashfire game is getting added to my list of things I now write for. So ask away for headcannons. All normal rules apply. Decided to write some yandere headcannons for non-love interest characters.

EDIT: Honestly, I don't think I'll be writing anything else for this game. I've had a dry spell with it and looking back I can't believe I even played it. 😅 Yes, I was playing Vanilla mode basically, but still, I just... I can't people. So no, I'm not doing request for this. My good girl guilt is too strong. I'm still not ready to delete this though?

---

Briar

It would take a lot for someone to catch their attention. They've seen and done most everything, so you would really have to stand out in both appearance and personality to draw them in.

They like to have other people do their dirty work for them. They pay their goons to stalk you throughout the city and take pictures of you. Security is also there to keep the town pervs off of you. If you’re employed by them, they may have your fellow workers dig up information on you by rooting through your stuff in the dressing room or befriending you. When they finally do decide they has to have you, they may have their employees yank you into their car or office for a “friendly chat” so that you two can come to a sort of agreement on what kind of relationship he wants from you. Will sugarcoat it to look like just a business deal, but there’s a much more possessive motive behind it.

How they treat and interact with you if you reject them will be greatly affected by whether you are working for them or not. If you are, they are not above using some real nasty methods to keep you under their thumb, such as threatening to repeatedly have you pimped out against your will until you learn to be more obedient. If you’re not a sex worker or if you’re a virgin, they may simply pay to have a gang rough you up a bit as opposed to having them rape you, though they’ll make sure they leave a threatening message that one of your close friends may be on the receiving end of that treatment if you don’t come to them. Oh, and they are not playing. They have absolutely no qualms with carrying out their threats.

Leighton

I literally hate this man on a deep, personal level.

If you’re a student, they will have all kinds of excuses made to have you sent to their office. If you’re a delinquent this will be easy, but I see Leighton liking to take advantage of an innocent student, because that’s the kind of pile of human bile and horesecrap that he is. They would have you drawn in by either inventing reasons for you to need detention and discipline or wanting to “make sure you’re ok” because they supposedly heard your home life was difficult or that you weren’t feeling well. May want to give you “personal” health inspections.

With their camera fetish they’re going to want lots of pictures of you in every possible state. May also request “special” videos of you. If you have agreed and ever want to stop, it really sucks to be you, because they’ll threaten to release them if you aren’t obedient.

If you show any interest in a fellow student, they will make sure to pull them aside for "discipline" as well, and may even have you join in. They're perfectly fine with a threesome as long at the end of the day you realize your theirs.

Remy

I hate to burst ya’ll’s perverted bubbles, but I don’t think Remy would do the cow treatment with their love interest. They look at the player as cattle when they buy them and treat them as such. While they may have a certain “special interest” in tending to you, at the end of the day, you’re a cow, and they are not screwing a cow.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Their personality is extremely domineering and if they want something, they have made it clear throughout the course of the game that they get it. They will use and even take sadistic glee to an extent in using force to get what they want, as is shown in how they ransacks Alex’s farm and how they whips the player with joy when they refuse to plow. So if they have their eyes on a someone, they are getting them and taming them into submission. I just don’t think it would be through the cow treatment.

May try to woo you the more traditional way, using their riches and personality to try to win you over. If that doesn’t work though, some sabotaging your current love life and manipulating your financial situation by pulling some strings with your housing and job. If all else fails, maybe some threatening your loved ones will work. Don’t want everyone you love and care about lives being utterly ruined? They want you. Doesn’t really want to kidnap you if they don't have to, but they are not above it if things you are being a real brat or don’t really have anyone they can threaten you with.

After you either submit into entering a relationship or they abduct you, they use the carrot and stick method. Being bad gets you punished in various ways and revoking privileges, while being good has them treating you kinder and letting you do things you enjoy. They still keep you on a really tight leash though.

[finniestoncrane]

Just out of curiosity, does turning off anon mess with or delete the anon asks you already have? Or does it just prevent new ones? I haven't been on tumblr very long so i'm not sure how that works lol. Anyways, i'm so sorry you keep getting this horrible treatment from anons. It really sucks that people use anon as a shield to say whatever they want to whoever they want with no consequences. If it's any difference, i'm pretty confident most of them are trolls, especially the anon attacking you about autism and hating kids or whatever. Because there's no way someone could possibly be so dumb. Do whatever you have to do to eliminate that stress, and take care of yourself!!

i don't think it does at least!! i've still got all my messages and all my requests are fine too!! so it's just preventing new anonymous messages from being sent u-u i'll be turning anon back on at some point, but i just need time to recover. i need time to build up my supply of kindness and to get myself out of my little funk.

i don't care what kind of intrusive thoughts anyone has, they shouldn't be judged for them because they are unwanted compulsions and not a reflection of their character or morals. but to be very honest, the intrusive thoughts i was having the day i got a shit message about them were mostly around harming myself which i know would hurt my family, which is why i felt so shitty. and it's why i sort of spiralled a bit because i was already not in a good place. and then to get an ask the next day basically accusing me of gatekeeping autism and saying kids were terrible (i literally do not mind kids, i am ambivalent towards them at worst, at best i am excited to be an aunt) was just enough.

so sorry to hijack your ask but this is mostly to say: there are consequences, even if anonymous people think there are none!! you literally have no idea how the person behind the account is feeling. i consider myself particularly strong, i've been mentally ill for some 31 years and i'm so lucky to have a decent support system and to be able to get medication and therapy. someone else might not have fared as well as me with that kind of treatment. no one wants to be responsible for someone doing something terrible to themselves

but anyway!! i am feeling ok, i am feeling safe without the anon option for now, and i'm glad to be back to trying to post and write as normal u-u

[outtoshatter]

20 Questions for fic Writers!

finally getting to the tag games i've been forgetting! thanks for the tag @sugareey-makes-stuff this looks so cute and fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 93....for now! I have a secret little goal to hit 100 before the end of the year but realistically that probably won't happen.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,864,258! I'd like to hit 2mil eventually :D

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Teen Wolf for now! Although I've been trying to get myself to be inspired by others, it's just not happening. Although i finally finished watching Superstore the other day and intensely plotted out a fic that would fill in some missing stuff that was bugging me. but I likely won't do that lmao

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Haaa Son of the Sheriff [Teen Wolf, G, 3k words] Nature of the Beast [Teen Wolf, M, 56k] No Mercy [Teen Wolf, M, 64k] Love Don't Lie [Teen Wolf, T, 2k] Ride with me [Teen Wolf, T, 4k]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! almost always. sometimes I don't know what to say but I try to respond anyway. I didn't before, at first because when I joined ao3 the authors' whose works I commented on didn't respond so I just thought that was the culture, and then occasionally now because I'm just...very drained from pulling the story out of my head. MOSTLY though I genuinely love talking about my stories with people, especially when they have questions about my worlds; I put a ton of thought and care into my worlds and LOVE when people are interested!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ah...hmm. I don't know! i always aim for happy endings, they bring me the most joy in writing. Uhhh maybe Pulling Strings? It's more open than angsty, buuuut it is less outright happy than my other fics!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

HAPPIEST. That's so hard!! Because see above, all happy endings. I'll say an even tie between The Next Chapter and Fractured Starlight, just going by most recently picked fics!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

klfjsalkfslka I don't know that i'd call it outright hate. but i've gotten some WILD comments before. That were unquestionably FUCKING rude. But i don't know if it counts as hate. I have an entire folder i have named Hall of Shame of some of the worst offenders. It's gotten less bad now that I've archive locked all my fics, which made it so much more fun to post. I think the worst was either the several-paragraphs long, two part comment about how the reader was disappointed in me (??) and just a bunch of other rudeness, OR the person who, after I deleted their comment that pissed me off, pasted their comment back in with a bitchy little addition to let me know they felt entitled to leaving rude stuff on my fic. so i deleted it again c:

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write a lot of it! Definitely not PWP. Just emotion-focused sex scenes if it happens and works for the rest of my plot! it's just not as fun as action scenes for me most of the time c:

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm hesitant to call it stolen but someone did ask me permission to translate my fic, and I granted it, but they did not link me to it, or even post it on ao3, which bothered me. but i found it. and. they had translated it, sure, but they'd also changed it from a sterek fic....to a Derek x Peter fic. which was. a weird thing to do. that was not what we had agreed upon so i just messaged them mainly asking like. for why.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

LOL. Yes! 4 on ao3, and two out there...on other sites. that was annoying D< I am flattered people wanted to translate my fics! I now have a blanket statement on my profile for this sort of thing, including that I want translations only on ao3, and not posted elsewhere because of...well. #11 lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No :c I'd like to try! But i have so many to-write fics!! I have some vague plans for a fic with @dappledawndrawn but like. my list. it's so long. (Also add in my fears that I'd be overbearing or something and i will procrastinate this forever.)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I'd have to say sterek lmaooo. I have others I like and even love a whole lot I just haven't become obsessed with finding out how to fit those other ships in a whole bunch of other worlds like I have with sterek. Maybe one day! Mostly they're book ships hahaha

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh man. ;-; the third of my fairy tale series. I started it like 3 times but could never get it right! i had it all planned out and everything it just would not work. So annoying.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding for sure. Plotting, foreshadowing. Building the tale itself i guess? And action oh man am I obsessed with writing action and I am good at it. I love building worlds, blowing things up, and telling the tale of why, taking the reader on the twisty, interesting, exciting journey to the satisfying conclusion.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Personally, I think I need to work on my descriptions of characters, and tbh I have trouble writing emotional scenes! I'm working on it though.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it before! Looking back, I was annoyed at myself xD I mostly now stick to just writing it as regular dialogue, then "-in [x language]" afterward. I don't have anything against it I suppose, but usually it's not really important to the plot to have a single line in a different language than the rest of the fic (special cases happen) so I just don't hahaha

19. First fandom you wrote for?

e.e This question always happens on these things lkfdsalkfjdskaf SIIIGH it was Maximum Ride. c,:

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I am ever proud of Are You Ready? it's my baby, my love, I am so so proud of it and how my writing improved just trying to do justice to that story. So.

Thanks for the tag! Tagging @raisesomehale @rosieposiepuddingnpie @2dents @cephalog0d @halevetica @tkwritesdumbassassins @evanesdust and anyone else who might want to play who i didn't tag lfkjdslakjfs sorry

[cookinguptales]

TIL that you can block anonymous users via your inbox! And if you do that, it also gets rid of any of their old messages! Which has the side effect of letting you know which anon wrote which messages!

Which I guess is nice because

It gave me confirmation that the one anon I suspected was the same one who keeps sending me stuff I just... do not wish to read (because it's so long-winded, passive-aggressive, and full of absolutely rancid takes) actually was that person, despite the fact that I have asked them repeatedly to just unfollow me. And now I'll never have to get one of their diatribes again.

Kind of a relief to know that actually, my inbox was not full of people who hate me! It was just full of like two people who were really dedicated to hating me! Which is very fucking weird of them!

I will never understand why people get so fucking mad because someone wrote some fandom takes they didn't agree with on their own blog. Just... block me and move on and read stuff from other users who agree with you. It's fandom, not WWII. It doesn't always have to be combative. I'm open to discussion, but if you're just here to curse at me or tell me I'm an idiot or go on a rant about "certain people in fandom" or just be a condescending douchebag... save your breath, maybe? I'm not going to change my mind; all you're doing is irritating us both.

I see takes I don't agree with all the time, but I am normal and well-adjusted (lmao) and I just... scroll. Or block them, if it happens repeatedly. Or if I really feel strongly about it, I make my own meta post about my own opinions without referencing theirs. If I feel irritated, I vent privately to friends. It is just never worth a fight on tumblr dot com. Everyone just comes out feeling bad.

Also like... very genuinely, I do not understand why people send me long anonymous rants via ask when they clearly don't actually want my input. I get that it's scary to make posts of your own with your own name attached (like... obviously, I am proving the risks of that rn) but like?? Stop trying to use me as a platform or something. Gather your courage and make your own fucking post. Surely that must be easier than sending me like 400 words in multiple asks whining about the ~state of fandom these days~ when I clearly disagree with you, then getting angry with me when I disagree with you.

I've pretty much decided to stop publishing those. I feel like it's probably just going to give people what they want? A platform for their vents without actually having to put their names on their ideas. I fully welcome anon asks (even very long ones!) that really want to discuss elements of canon or bring up ideas or ask me for my opinion. Even ones that don't necessarily agree with me, as long as they're respectful! But damn, some of you treat me like I'm not even a real person and I'm tired of it. You don't have to like my ideas, you don't even have to like me, but if you want me to engage with you, you gotta treat me with some semblance of respect.

Like... maybe I've been too nice? I try to answer all messages, even ones that are kind of shitty, as patiently as I can with as much good faith as I can muster, but like. maybe I do need to just tell some people to fuck off and/or delete their shitty bad-faith asks without reading them. Maybe I've emboldened people by engaging with these asks at all, idek. I really like ask culture on tumblr, but like. to be brutally frank, some of you are real shitheads with bad reading comprehension and terrible takes. You're not nice, and your ideas aren't interesting.

(I do just delete the ones that are just cursing or insults, typically, but I usually try to engage if there's any real content beyond that, and maybe that was a mistake...? Maybe you can't react to bad-faith actors with good faith...)

Anyway. This was a long and mystified post, but I really do feel much lighter knowing that the problem was less widespread than I thought (if... more concentrated than I'd anticipated) and that I will never have to hear from certain people again.

I'm probably going to leave anon off for a few more days just because I really do think I just need a mental break from wwdits for a few days, but I feel a lot safer turning it back on now. :')

[six-of-ravens]

aloha friends and people who left annoying incorrect opinions on my posts, raistlin is a waif he is the waifiest waif it doesn't matter if his twin is a brick shithouse you are WRONG I am kinda sorta back. maybe only for one tipsy night, but who knows. listen, I'm 1.5 ciders in and feeling Properly Tipsy as opposed to last night when I drank jack and cokes for the first time in a while and just felt nauseous, so I'm Thriving atm. ANYWAY.

i feel like i have cleared some cobwebs from my brain. kind of. mostly i redownloaded bc i have the irresistible urge to natter about my life. tbh i considered deleting tumblr for a while bc there are some things about this site (but also social media in general) that annoy the absolute shit out of me, and also i feel like I dedicated too much ~mental energy~ to this site in the past (not to sound like some new age crackpot) and I need to cut down on how much scrolling and getting mad about other people's incorrect opinions I do. However, there are a few beloved mutuals on here that I miss talking to and also tumblr is kinda Home, y'know?

anyway TLDR I'm back, kinda. might still delete the app during the day so I can focus on IRL shit instead of being a zillennial social media addict, so I apologize if I miss messages etc but. yeah. for the sake of my mental health I have to be better at self-policing. Also, no longer going to allow myself to use the For You tab, so sorry if I don't see your posts bc tumblr only served them there. I can't control it lmao. frankly the algorithm here just ain't good enough and I don't want to cry AGAIN bc a video of a naked woman jiggling her stomach with a caption about how much she hates herself and wants to lose weight came up on my feed. Frankly since this is tumblr I'm not sure if that's porn or self-harm, but either way, fuck off with that shit, man! I kinda hate my body too and I don't wanna see that!! I don't want that in my brain!! Hence why I quit and went to ig-only for a while. My IG is all pottery and miniatures and painting and European travel vlogs it's so PEACEFUL!

now onto the fun stuff, a list of things I consider interesting that happened in the past 3ish weeks:

have done a whole lot of reading lately: Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh which is weird and off-putting by very worth reading, then a reread of the Unicorn series by Vicki Blum (always a delight) and finishing Princess Jellyfish (there's quite the plot twist in the last few books but overall it's a delightful series), then my hold for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk came up (extremely interesting and worthwhile read, especially after listening to the No Dogs in Space punk series, very sad ending though bc of course a lot of the punk musicians passed away young), and now I'm rereading The Mermaid's Secret and The Dragon Prince by Vicki Blum as a palate cleanser, and then hopefully I'll start the LoTR reread I've been meaning to do for a while. So yeah I read like 16 books in 3 weeks. this is the power of quitting social media.

Also I've kinda discovered that I'm just pretty... disenchanted with all book-fandoms online. it's just so...kinda annoying? nowadays? just the same old drama over and over and I don't caaaare lol. Read what you want, at whatever speed you want, idc, none of it matters. I read for funsies after work. Some people read 24/7 because being a book blogger is their career. Some people are 17 and still have the mental stamina to read a 500 page book in 2 days. Idgaf if you read Maas or Austen or Sanderson or whatever, there's no moral high ground (except maybe not giving Sanderson money bc WOW BYU is a shitty organization). Also I don't necessarily want other people's opinions on what I read or if a book I just bought has "mixed reviews" or whatever (unless the person is a mutual whose opinions I value lol). So I might start posting on the book blog again but just....not interact with booklr. Torn between the desire to communicate with others and the desire to keep my hobby all to myself and free from unnecessary judgement or bullshit.

Finally rearranged my bookshelves, by ~vibe or whatever~. Might post photos tomorrow but the living room is once again in a state of chaos since I started gardening today.

On that note, started my garden! planted some veggies, herbs, and a whole boatload of tomatoes in seedling trays (listen, MacKenzie seed were on sale 3/$5 today at the store and I'm weak for weird tomato variants and herbs. Still need to find rosemary and fennel though). Have more stuff to do, but I'm going to give the seedlings a couple weeks to get started and then maybe plant everything else Easter weekend. Last year was nice, garden-wise, but this year I really hope we don't get 30C weather in May. My allergies cannot handle it 😭

saw the Alien/Aliens double feature our cheap theatre put on and it was a DELIGHT

we also got a record snowstorm that weekend, which sucked bc it was the same week I'd had a random friday booked off (previously for traveling with my aunt, very glad that was cancelled now) so I basically did none of the other things I had planned.

also after said double feature, had to make my first 911 call. luckily I rot my brain with true crime All Day Every Day so I handled it like a pro 😤 (i am fine it was for another person, and uh, it turned out to not be so serious once the emergency people were able to get them to stop crying hysterically and realized this poor person was just intoxicated, underdressed for the weather, and a bit lost)

discovered the health foods store near my place has a bunch of funky herbal teas for like $5.50 a box so I've been going a little nuts there. I LOVE FENNEL TEA IT'S SO GOOD. ALSO LAVENDER MY BELOVED! they also have a bunch of local coffee blends, and I'm seriously considering getting a coffee bean grinder so I can try them

saw Lisa Frankenstein the week after the Alien double feature at that same theatre, it was fucking excellent I laughed my ass off, also at that theatre you can get your ticket and snacks and drink for the same price as a Cineplex ticket, it's excellent

finally watched Saltburn, which was great. love the Donna Tartt vibes. i watched it while somewhat drunk off Soju, which I think is how it's meant to be viewed.

also started a Ghibli rewatch, to justify not cancelling my Netflix just yet (I know I know, I should but I technically can afford it and it's my emotional support streamer you know? how else am I going to instantaneously watch Gilmore Girls on a bad day?) So far I have only watched Kiki's Delivery Service lol

Also, funny anecdote: last week I got my period and was VICIOUSLY craving alcohol. like I went to the store and bought the most bizarre range of random things (soju, honey jack, and mead...and then proceeded to drink them at my normal rate lmao). Realized afterwards this is a combination of my usual craving for sweet things + my very stressed coworker constantly joking about how we need to crack a bottle of something when this stressful project is finished. At the time however I thought my uterus was trying to make me an alcoholic.

Did my budgeting with my new rent and discovered that I'm actually fine, because I had DOUBLED A NUMBER SOMEHOW! and I basically had $150/month freed up. I'm so smart. I continue to procrastinate my income tax though (shhhh I have another month....)

Started writing a vague story about two women hiking to a portal to elfland, which is located near an abandoned train station. There are cultists called vampires living at said train station who are such a fucking delight to write (not real bloodsucking vampires tho, they are currently eating paella 🥘). It's fun and weird and I'm having a good time with it.

started listening to a podcast called No One Should Believe Me about cases involving Munchausens by Proxy, which is very interesting. the host has a sister with (alleged) MbP and genuinely wants to get her (and of course her kids) help, so it's actually a really good, compassionate take on an issue that's usually played for shock value. I have to listen to it slowly though bc it's Heavy

started knitting again! made 1 dishcloth and started a second. have decided I'm going to take these into work when I have a few done. If my boss won't buy us proper cloths then I'll pawn my knitting practice off on them lol

there is a lot of early road construction near my office since, aside from that random snowstorm, it's been a mild early spring. be glad you haven't had to listen to me rant about that lol

finally bucked up and got a duvet cover for my comforter that was lowkey falling apart at the seams. it's a good comforter aside from some light "my washer is evil" damage so I'm happy I can stuff it into a (less expensive) duvet cover instead of having to replace the whole thing

[acourtofthought]

I used to really respect this blog but you’re turning so anti-Azriel that you sound like an el/riel. He’s no where near perfect and no where close to being my favorite character (so don’t come at me like I’m some kind of stan) but like…chill out. Your favorite characters don’t get better or more page time by trashing others. Your book theories don’t come true because of how much you ship two people. There’s this epidemic in this fandom where shipping clouds judgment, and it’s very few blogs where it doesn’t happen.

I honestly thought the elucien side was fun and sweet, but people like you are ruining that. You’ve preached about how above you are from el/riels and gw/nriels fighting that you quite literally mimic their weird behavior. Congrats on becoming your own worst enemy.

I don’t like to leave hate. Consider this constructive criticism.

Delete this if you will. I’ve blocked you anyway.

I'm glad you've blocked me because no one should be forced to read content that makes them unhappy however I'm not going to follow your suggestion to "delete this" because sometimes a girls just got to journal her thoughts and after your post I've got many 😂

If I were an E/riel then wouldn't I be singing Azriel's praises? I'm not sure how that comment makes any sense.

Also my Anti E/riel posts, Az's problematic behavior, and Lucien deserving his HEA before Az go way back so I'm not sure what new content you're suddenly having the problem with.

It's incredible when other people decide to box you into what you're allowed to write about. That because I support Elucien, all my content must be hearts and flowers in regards to Elucien at all times. Seriously, who the hell is anyone to place that label on someone? SJM writes raw and real characters who deal with heavy stuff, she's not a fluff writer. So it's alright to have strong opinions.

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely Elucien blogs that are 100% positive all the time and they are a gift to us all however let's not go around shaming the blogs who argue against some of the takes they've seen in the fandom.

I am an Elucien through and through however my username does lend itself towards the series as a whole.

I'm also a realist and that means I know that Az is getting a HEA. That means that I'm capable of picking up on the clues that the author has left for us, clues as to which female Az is well suited to be with, clues as to the direction Az might be headed in, clues as to which female he's got the chance at the healthiest relationship with. I also don't act like Az is a lost cause because that's not SJMs style. He's a main character and I know by the end, everything will fall into place. So maybe posts I've done demonstrating why I think Gwynriel is well suited and the fact that I do envision a HEA for Az has led someone into thinking I have a great opinion of Az?

Right now I don't, there is nothing that I find appealing about Az and I'm not sure why that's an issue.

Do you know how many posts I've seen where others don't care that much for Elain? Sure I wish that weren't the case and I'll argue in favor of Elain but I'm not about to go on to their page and tell them "chill out. Your favorite characters don’t get better or more page time by trashing others. Your book theories don’t come true because of how much you ship two people. There’s this epidemic in this fandom where shipping clouds judgment, and it’s very few blogs where it doesn’t happen."

In your own words there are "very few blogs where it doesn't happen" so I'm guessing the list of those you follow is fairly short? If you're a Gwynriel than I have to imagine you've seen a few judgemental posts on Elain that are clearly a result of the ship war. If an E/riel than I imagine you've seen the same slander in regards to Lucien and Gwyn. And I can't be the first Elucien you've met who isn't Az's #1 fan. Did you unfolllow those blogs with a farewell message? Or maybe I'm just the singular lucky target of your "constructive criticism".

Someone can disagree with me and create posts on why Az is their favorite, they can explain why they disagree in hopes I'll change my mind but why is it that crazy that I'm not all that impressed? Honestly, what makes Az all that special or awesome?

Right now there are so many posts building Az up to be some glorious creature who is so much more worthy than Elain. Or so much better than Gwyn who is just luring him. Who is a poor boy who was screwed over by Mor. Whose opinion that Lucien will never be good enough must be taken as fact rather than the more likely scenario that it's jealousy through and through. And I don't agree with any of that, there is NOTHING that makes Az better than Elain or Lucien or Gwyn.

Do my posts speak untruths about Az? Is he not fixated on the wrong women in unhealthy ways? Is he not insanely jealous of Lucien and being a dick as a result? Is he not a hothead when it comes to Rhys and Feyre as of late? Has he not made Mor uncomfortable at times, something she herself tells us?

While people are entitled to their opinion, I disagree with some of the takes placing Az as ruler on high too superior for the likes of Gwyn / Elain (choose your ship) and my posts are a rebuttal of sorts.

Which is no different than what the entire fandom does. One side claims Gwyn is evil, the other side argues against it. One side claims Elain is not good enough to be with Az, the other side argues against it.

I do think Gwyn deserves better than getting dragged into the mess that is Azriel's love life right now. However I think SJM is writing it so Gwyn is it for Az and I look for the positive in their relationship as a result. I anticipate the ways they will be good together eventually (as there are hints of it now) but since Az and Gwyn as a thing is not the current situation, I don't like Az all that much at the moment. The Az of the moment is yeesh and that's why the first half of the bonus was a shit show. Am I supposed to like Az for how he acted with Elain? For the way he acted with Rhys? For the way he spoke on behalf of Elain, that she should not be allowed near the Trove? For what he thinks of Lucien? If I applauded those moments then I'd be an E/riel.

I love when people gaslight with phrases like, "I thought the Elucien side was fun and sweet and people like you are ruining that". As if Elucien's can never be anything but fun and sweet. They MUST listen to the bullshit around them and take it up the ass with a smile on their faces. Somehow only other ship stans are allowed to yell the loudest to have their voices heard but as soon as an Elucien does it, we're suddenly the problem. Somehow E/riels are allowed to talk smack on Gwyn and Lucien and it's acceptable, some Gwynriels and even Eluciens are allowed to talk smack on Elain and it's acceptable but nobody better dare speak ill of Az!. If the posts tearing down Gwyn, Elain and Lucien did not exist in the first place, maybe there would not be the need for posts pointing out that Az is not the Grand Poobah of the ACOTAR world.

Eluciens are no better or worse. We're here trying to make our points and stand up for our characters (who really are two characters who get a lot of hate from many in the fandom).

Also, my ship is clouding my judgement of Az?

Most of Az's personality is wrapped up in his desire to be in a relationship, his self loathing or his anger at many many people. That's not my judgment being clouded, they are common refrains throughout the series.

Is it not possible that your ship is preventing you from actually paying attention to Az's personality outside of Gwyn and the problematic ways he's acting?

Sure he and Feyre had a few good scenes where he taught her to fly and it definitely seems like there's a good relationship forming between he and Nesta but that was a newly introduced thing. And yes, there are the fun brother moments where they're ribbing on one another, in the sauna or playing chess. But outside of that, what have we really been told of Az? He doesn't talk to anyone about the truly important stuff. He hates an entire group of men because they're Illyrians. He actually sulks when having to follow orders or simply ignores them. He is a bit of a dick when it comes to Lucien. For each warm and fuzzy Az moment there are way more problematic ones, for now.

Am I supposed to love Az for these things? I know Az will be different by the end of his book but right now, what is truly amazing about him? What makes him a stand up guy? Do I have to put him on a pedestal for running into danger and being a protector? Tamlin did that too yet it didn't win him favors with the fandom.

I'm an Elucien so isn't the goal to point out why Az is not well suited for Elain and why his behavior in regards to both Lucien and Elain is problematic? If I didn't take note of those things than wouldn't I think that Az is right in thinking Lucien isn't good enough for her? Wouldn't I think Az was heroic for just trying to protect Elain from the Trove?

Every Az and Gwyn interaction I've written about has been extremely positive and demonstrates how I can see the good in Az. Because there is an amazing vibe that surrounds the two of them. But compared to the Az/ Lucien / Elain stuff in the last few books, we have been given more problematic behavior from Az than we've been given positive behavior and honestly, that is basically the majority of Az's character these days. SJM has written much of his persona as being obsessed with Mor and a bond, his anger at the Illyrians, his anger at Eris, the jealousy he has over Lucien and Helion, his anger at orders he doesn't agree with.

For me, it's always a scale. I expect a character to have flaws, I don't expect them to be perfect. However the pro side of the scale needs to weigh more heavily than the cons side and that's not where Az is at for me right now.

Az has good moments, absolutely. Even villains are probably likeable in certain scenarios (not that Az is a villain but I'm making a point). But a characters "character" is more telling when they're at their worst. It's in how they treat others even when they don't like them. It's whether they unfairly take out their problems on those who don't deserve it. It's in their ability to communicate in a mature and healthy way.

For me, Az being sweet to Feyre during flying lessons, kind to the priestesses during training, his thoughtful gift for Nesta at Solstice, etc. don't really add up to all that much when stacked up against his more problematic behaviors. I'm sorry but one or two "awww, how sweet" moments don't eclipse the other things right now. I think it's SJM showing us who Az is capable of being but it's still overshadowed by the rest. The way he's disrespectful towards Feyre in SF, they way he disobeys his High Lords orders during a war, the way he would completely wipe the Illyrians off the map if given the chance, the way he's got issues with Lucien for no good reason at all (come to think of it, Az has issues with every single male in the series outside Rhys and Cassian), the way he can't control himself in important political meetings, the way he pouted after Rhys and Feyre told him not to go after Briallyn, the way he, at 539 ish years old doesn't know how to communicate to the people who have done nothing but love him for 500+ years.

I expect that balance to eventually shift but I'm not there yet. And I do think Lucien deserves a chance to prove himself before Az gets a HEA with his own mate after his having little respect for Lucien's own bond and Lucien in general. I'd like a lot more space between Az's history with Mor and his fixation on Elain before Gwyn ends up with him because she doesn't deserve to be stuck in the middle of a Jerry Springer-like episode.

And I've never preached at being above anything. In fact I'm quite sure I've mentioned I will match the energy of that which I see around me because sometimes being nice and sweet doesn't get you anywhere when dealing with certain people or groups. When others have sent anons on how well I hold my temper I respond with a personal acknowledgment that I know I got a bit feisty and apologized for it.

That will be all for now. I'm done "preaching" and I hope you've enjoyed the gospel of ACourtofThought.

[azulas-daddy-kink]

(bi man anon) thank you for answering! it's horrible that both of us, and certainly many other bi people, have to go through this treatment just to exist in fandom spaces as ourselves.

you certainly did nothing wrong with the azula post. it was properly tagged and didn't cross tag into actual ships. it's just how the biphobes are. when i was younger, i had once tried to run a blog not engaging in discourse but simply supporting headcanons, and i still constantly got hateful messages and threats for going against 'canon' even though they all but had to go out of their way to find my blog, if i remember right i hadn't even maintagged anything. it's long since deleted by now though, and i never saved any receipts, so take it with a grain of salt i suppose. needless to say, i understand your story and i believe you acted rationally. the one who brought it back up after you de-escalated and left the conversation was incredibly childish and seems to be a reoccurring situation in general with this type of thing.

i do wonder how much of it is tied into other discourses, i most frequently see this kind of behavior with antis. i wouldn't be surprised at all if some proshippers did the same. there's a lot to be said in general about exclusionism and the treatment of bi folk (many gay people wish for us to water ourselves down to nothing more than gay and lesbian, just with a different word. seems to lineup a lot with anti-aro/ace and forcing nonbinary people into binaries ie transmasc or transfem, denying the existence of transneutrality and pressuring them into outing themselves, or the usage of amab and afab in casual discussion rather than medical contexts or other cases where it's actually relevant) a lot of it all seems to circle right back into radfem ideology. unfortunately, a prevalent ideology even in fandom spaces.

thank you, again, for sharing one of your stories. i have never harassed anyone either, over anything, much less headcanons. it seems incredibly common that people will take someone disagreeing with their headcanon as a personal attack. you can say you don't mind a lesbian or gay headcanon, but prefer a bi one, and people will still get mad. it's unfortunate. thankfully, we have stubborn bi people who'll hold their ground even through the harassment and poor treatment. i hope you'll hold tight onto your bi azula headcanon, and every other bi headcanon you have. i'll be doing the same for mine.

Hey, nice to hear from you again! I was honestly more than happy to make that post, and I'm especially glad that my experience and the way I handled these things was validated.. I'm always made to feel like I'm doing something wrong by reacting accordingly to the disrespect, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that either.

I really think that you're absolutely right in some of these other points you brought up. Namely it being a common theme in online spaces now that people are just plain immature and rehash arguments for no reason... but also I think you're onto something about this tying into other types of discourse, and certainly aphobia and enbyphobia as well. These types of discrimination (biphobia, aphobia, enbyphobia) are pretty socially acceptable, sadly, even in queer or majority queer fandom spaces... it sucks. And we're not the only ones who've noticed it either.

You're also 100% right about people in general treating disagreement like a personal attack. You say you have a different headcanon and they act like you ran over their dog -__-

Anyways, feel free to send asks any time, I think it's important to talk about this stuff! And I'll be holding onto my bi Azula headcanon as well, they can pry it from my cold dead hands<3

[covenlegacy]

I'm sorry that i make coven blog some exchange of messages with others but i don't want to talk via messages with anyone, including coven because I had very bad experience with it plus everyone would attack me then. So that's why I use this method here sending anon replies. I agree with you too, anon. I guess that when my opinion wasn't loaded with negative emotions, especially about JK, more people would understand and reply this way before. But I'm only human with emotions that got the best of me. But just like you said. It's exactly this way. I treat coven as confidant who's in this topic and knows about this general obession over JK between fans so that's why it's a relief to spill the tea. But people act offended like it was about them. Maybe it is. But generally many Army's react this way. Idk maybe they don't fight back in rl and that's why they look for fights online. I already said it's some projection from their side. I also fought with others online when I had stesssful day but now i try not to do this. You're right. I've been fucking fighting for four years to not to think about JK. I used to think it's being in love but it's just attraction and fascination that is difficult to get rid of. Sounds like karmic lesson. So imagine how annoying it is when after seeing only one shit on Tumblr like gifset, he haunts my thought for hours. I actually felt happy when I saw him on vlive, especially with Bam so it's good but I'd like to not to think about it later. Like really, not think about him that often and randomly. Maybe avoiding everything related to him would be good but I get recommendations and he's really everywhere so I'd need to delete all of my social medias then. But I guess there would be some hot topic on Tumblr one day or elsewhere and I'd randomly saw him anyway. I guess it will pass but it just takes long. I'm sure it's some karmic lesson and i still need to learn something. I hope that I'll meet my spouse soon. I'm curious if he's my type. I'm a bit worried because my 7th house in vedic is ruled by Mars and astrologers say it symbolizes domineering, agressive, sporty, competetive spouse. If someone who knows astrology well, could tell me something more about this placement, I'd be grateful.

I get that you're very hurt. And it's okay to like a celebrity like JK. He represents alot of things at the same time. He is one of a very few number of people who backs up being this popular. Talent, looks and a lot of things in one. He is very easy to admire.

Anon, I know how bad it feels when people who are supposed to be your strength end up being the exact opposite and that's why I think people should calm down. At the end of a shitty day all you perhaps want is someone who shares a little bit of sympathy and not just be in an attack mode. So whenever you are deeply sad you vent out by saying stuff about him because you know that it won't affect him. By your posts I know that you know that you don't see him in your life and that's also proof that you are not delusional.

Don't mind me saying this but I think you feel good when all his fans attack you so that you have somebody to say things to. By this kind of fight you can say things that perhaps you won't in real life to the people you have real problems with.

Coven is cute that way. She gets the gossip for the blog and still she protects you because she knows what you feel and it's a win for you both.

Your crush and obsession is not really that. It's just that you don't like that people like him have the scope and opportunity to do things that their heart desires whereas someone like you has to fight for the smallest things.

I don't hate your messages and you don't have to apologize for this behavior because we all lose it sometimes but we are all not surrounded by people who won't judge us like that or admire us deeply for being soft and vulnerable.

.

[greenhikingboots]

heyo!! I'm not sure if you've already answered this because I don't have Tumblr and I keep getting blocked by the log in wall whenever I scroll too far. But why did you delete your old AO3 account and works? Where you getting bullied 😰 I know the jonsa ship and Sansa specifically is well hated...

Hey, anon. I haven't answered that before, so I'll give it a go now. I think it's neat that you're interested. I haven't had any issues with bullying apart from a few random comments on AO3 that were less about Jonsa and more about my writing choices. Whoops. I tagged that fic as a fix but still let Rickon die? My bad. I didn't realize I was supposed to anticipate the preferences of that one specific reader and not do that. *eye roll* That's just one example, but despite my snarkiness about it right now that kind of stuff doesn't actually bother me too much. It is what it is. So anyway. I deleted my old account more because I wasn't satisfied with my work, wasn't finding fulfillment in writing as a hobby anymore, realized I cared more than I wanted to about kudos and comments -- yeah, that kind of stuff. But mostly I felt a lot of self-inflected pressure to post updates quickly. And so my speed became too much a measure of my sense of self-worth. Lame. I took a break for a while, but I'm back to writing now with a healthier mindset. (Though, let's be honest, I still want those damn kudos!) If you don't already know, my new AO3 name is GreenHikingBoots. Since I write for both Jonsa and Dramione, I wanted a name that wasn't fandom specific. And I like the color green and I do a lot of hiking IRL. So there you go. Oh, I should probably clarify that everything I have published under that new name, apart from my current Jonsa WIP called Inevitable, was previously published on my old account (though edits have been made). Most of that is Dramione, though. Also, that isn't to say every old fic has been re-published. Two of my more popular works -- For Better Dreams (Jonsa) and Between the Lines (Dramione) -- are still in my Google Doc and will hopefully get re-published in the future. I'm working my way through shorter fic ideas first. For what it's worth, compared to how I used to do it, I now have firmer plot plans and more detailed first drafts before I start publishing. And I give more author's notes warning that updates may take a while. And those factors go a long way in helping me maintain this hobby in an enjoyable way. Basically, these days, I'm into slow and steady wins the race. Oh, come to think of it! Here's another thing I should have said sooner: major shout out to the Jonsa fanfic writers who take their sweet time publishing updates and the readers who are understanding of that. I didn't see that as much in the Dramione fandom, but I think seeing it here helped relieve a lot of my anxieties. I think that's about all I got on the topic. I'm not going to say TL;DR. But a summation? I'll try. Here goes: Fandom and fanfiction writing is supposed to be fun, not feel like work! I took some time away because I hadn't internalized that. I've since developed some better habits and saw some good examples of people who had internized the message, and that helped. Now I'm back and enjoying writing more than before. Yay! Thanks anon. This turned into a really rewarding thing to write about. Hope you don't mind me getting all philosophical. ;)

[itsclydebitches]

Hey there! Admittedly I'm a little bit nervous since this is my first ask, but I'll try to not be too rambly.

So, recently the main subreddit, r/RWBY, made a ban on active users of the r/RWBYcritics subreddit. As a result there's been discussion around bad-faith criticism in the latter subreddit. What are your takes on bad-faith criticism?

For me personally, I think a bunch of people are misusing the term "bad-faith" and using it as a way to shut down criticism, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

Hey there, everyone! We woke up to some drama this morning, huh? And hello to you too, Tortoise! I'm so glad you decided to send in an ask, even if it's following some pretty tumultuous events...

Right, I'd like to start with a story. The story of how I personally don't spend time on Reddit, but I have plenty of friends who will occasionally cross-post something for me to see. Yesterday (or the day before? Idk time is meaningless) a friend told me about a post — which, significantly, I'm now having trouble finding — that covers RWBY's inconsistent writing and the fandom's tendency to try and explain away those missteps. They'd thought I'd be interested because I'd just had a conversation here on tumblr where I made that exact point to someone who, also significantly, vehemently disagreed with me, but in a very civil fashion. Given everything going on, I feel like this side point needs emphasis: we debated, we did so in a sometimes heated, but nevertheless respectful manner, it was clear neither of us was going to sway the other, and the conversation ended. The two "sides" of the community interacted without Armageddon coming about.

But back to the purpose of this tale. I went to take a look at this point and found that it no longer exists. There's just some vague message about it not obeying the subreddit's rules. "What happened?" I asked. "Why'd they take the post down?" "People were getting too heated in the comments," my friend replies. So, given that the comments were still visible, I proceeded to read through them, expecting personal attacks, slurs, harassment, etc. Any number of things that would justify deleting the post itself to put an end to such behavior. Instead, I found a thread of people having a conversation. Was the conversation heated at times? Sure. Did one or two individual posters edge into the realm of petulant, "No. You're wrong and stupid" responses? Yes. Was any of this remotely what I was expecting given the post's removal? NOPE.

"This isn't allowed?" I said. "Well then what is? People were being civil! Or at least as civil as hundreds of strangers ever get when discussing a series they're passionate about online."

Then, this morning, I hear that the entire critic subreddit has been banned.

So to answer your question, Tortoise, I don't actually think that "good faith" criticism exists. Meaning, it's not just that fans are misusing the term "bad faith criticism," but rather that there is no unified, agreed up method of writing criticism that will meet their standards. It's not possible and we know it's not possible because fans have been trying to meet those elusive standards for years:

A fan posts nothing but praise for RWBY until changes make them criticize the show as it is now. Their entire body of work is dismissed as the product of a "hater," despite the overwhelming gap between positive and negative reviews.

A fan posts a review that's a pretty balanced mix between praise and criticism. They're dismissed because it's still too much criticism.

A fan posts a review that's 99% praise with 1% criticism. That's still too much, with fans focusing on the single problem they had with the work and using it as an excuse to dismiss the entire review out of hand.

(As an aside, the argument that critics are "obsessed" with only saying negative things and that the only problem here is that they're "too" negative ignores the argument that... RWBY has a lot of flaws nowadays. Few are willing to acknowledge the possibility that it's not fans insisting on making things up to be mad about/ignoring the good parts of the show, it's the that show is, as of now, legitimately more of a mess than it is a praise-worthy product. If I'd been writing recaps in the Volumes 1-4 days, my work would have been skewed far more towards the positive. The critics' stance is that RWBY has gotten worse, which yes, results a higher volume of critical posts. To say nothing of how criticism takes far longer to explain, likewise resulting in posts focused primarily on that side of the divide. I really enjoyed the image of a crying Jaune reflected in his sword. I did not enjoy that moment's context. Saying that you liked an animation choice is a one sentence thing. Explaining the complexities of Jaune securing emotional moments, the problems with Penny's second death, the hurt many fans experienced watching an assisted suicide, etc. takes a whooole lot longer. Hence, you get massive, multiple posts about these nuanced topics and fewer, smaller posts about the details that are working well.)

A fan talks about a topic that has been metaphorically banned by the fandom as a whole. They have something good to say about Ironwood. They dislike something about Blake/Yang. They enjoyed Adam as a character. They have a problem with Ruby's leadership, etc. There's a whole list of topics nowadays that will result in an automatic dismissal, regardless of the point the fan is trying to make or how well they make it.

A fan talks about the minority representation of RWBY — its black characters, its queer characters, its disabled characters, etc. — and as a result has something to say about the biases and missteps of those writing these characters. This is considered an attack on the writers and, therefore, automatically bad.

A fan talks about how they enjoyed RWBY as it was years ago and is having trouble reconciling the dark, complicated story with the simple, hopeful one we started out with. This is seen as an attack on Monty's vision and an unwillingness to accept that "everything is planned."

A fan does as asked and ensures that their post is meeting all the requirements of "real" criticism. They have an argument to make. They have a point. They provide evidence. They recommend a solution. They keep their tone respectful. They don't attack the creators. They provide disclaimers in every single paragraph about how they do not hate RWBY. It doesn't matter. They're considered too negative.

I have, quite literally, seen every one of the above examples on multiple occasions. I have had many of the above accusations leveled at my own work. When fans say that they're fine with criticism provided it's not "bad faith" criticism, they don't actually have a specific post-type in mind; a checklist of behaviors another fan can emulate and, provided they do that, no hate will come their way. Or, if an individual fan does actually go, "Yeah. That criticism I'm fine with" that response is in no way universal. One person's "They make a good, civil point" is another person's, "Omg stop bashing the show!" Because "bashing" has come to mean everything from curse-laden insults towards everything RWBY has ever done, to posts that just happen to say something other fans don't agree with.

It's a rigged game. There is no way to post criticism about RWBY in an agreed-upon, appropriate manner. This recent ban is proof of that. I think it's incredibly telling that almost immediately after I was going, "Wow. A pretty calm debate about the flaws of RWBY in the main sub. That's great to see," all posters from the criticism subreddit were banned. The main sub literally just had the sort of criticism that they claim to accept — people respectfully posting analysis-based arguments resulting in calm debate — and yet they implemented the ban anyway. I'm not going to pretend that I've never gotten too heated on my own posts, never made snarky comments when I'm frustrated, never used exaggerated reaction GIFs that can come across as insulting... but I'd say on the whole my RWBY work is precisely the sort of "good faith" criticism that other fans are supposedly looking for. I never make an argument I don't think I can back up with evidence. I try to allow for the nuance and differing opinions of complicated topics. I try — even if I don't always succeed — to write in a clear, respectful manner. Yet none of that work has stopped people from telling me I'm a "bitter... raging asshole," a "deranged, delusional psychopath," telling me to set myself on fire, threatening to smash my head in, or just messages to straight up kill myself. If someone like me who legitimately works hard to create fair, defendable criticism and who only ever posts on a personal blog that people can easily block, who never engages in debate until someone else starts it first, never seeks out other fans I disagree with to harass them about what they like... if someone like me is still a "bad faith" critic who "deserves" that kind of hate mail... then what kind of criticism do people want?

Nothing. That's the answer. No criticism whatsoever, of any kind, no matter if it's delivered respectfully, is making a good point, whatever. That's why "RWDE" was created. That's why the critic subreddit was created. The community at large has demanded a complete separation between Praise and Anything That's Not 100% Praise, which has now resulted in this ban. Any other explanations we see are excuses, which becomes glaringly obvious when you look at the mods' supposed reasons for implementing the ban:

"Constant arguments with r/RWBY users" - As opposed to the arguments surrounding things like shipping that never, ever happen?

"Vote manipulation and comment brigades" - The subreddit with 3,000 participants, with around 200 on at a time, is manipulating the votes of a subreddit with 155,000 participants, with over 1,000 on at a time? Those numbers just do not check out. If a positive post is downvoted, or a critical post upvoted, maybe that's because large swaths of the community actually agree/disagree with that assessment, not because the incredibly smaller group is somehow manipulating things.

"Attacking and harassing those they disagree with" — Again, as opposed to those non-critics that never, ever harass people? This is an individual problem, not a community problem. Both critics and non-critics have their sub-groups acting in ways they shouldn't. If anything, the main sub will have more individuals harassing other fans, simply by virtue of being so much larger. As the above examples attest, it's not other critics who have told me to light myself on fire and, just to be clear, the asks I've responded to are a miniscule number compared to the amount I've received. I delete the lion's share for my own sanity and to save my followers from reading the really graphic threats.

"Months-long NSFL spam brigades" — I am, admittedly, not sure what this is referring to. Spamming of NSFW content? If so, that's also an individual problem.

"Homophobic, transphobic, and racist attacks towards our users" — See the above points. Again. If someone is being homophobic, transphobic, or racist, then yes please, ban them. Don't ban an entire community for the actions of a few. It's like walking into a store and banning a customer for causing a scene... but then also banning everyone else who happened to be shopping at the same time. It's guilt by association.

The silver lining to all this? The community as a whole isn't pleased. At least according to the main subreddit comments and a few individual voices like MurderofBirds. Despite the increase (from my perspective anyway) of critical voices post-Volume 8, criticism of RWBY is still very much seen as taboo. As this ban showcases. But it's really reassuring to see so many fans, critics and non-critics alike, going, "This was a mistake." A community is meant to include all aspects of engagement: praise, criticism, and the gray area between. If anything, fans like the mods of the main subreddit should be creating a separate subreddit that is specifically for praise. In the same way that there should have been a tag for RWBY praise, rather than trying to eliminate any and all criticism from the main "RWBY" tag. The majority of fans, even those who claim to hate critics and all they (presumably) stand for, recognize that a blanket ban of all criticism is not the way to go, especially when "criticism" has come to have such a staggeringly broad definition. If you want your RWBY experience to be nothing but sunshine and roses (ha), then cultivate your own internet experience to reflect that. Create your own pockets with rules about how this is the space for praise and if you're not up for praising RWBY right now, don't interact with us in this particular space. Don't try to make the entire community — the main tools used to discuss the show online — conform to your preferences. As established, there is no "good" criticism that everyone in the fandom will accept, which just leaves a fandom with no criticism at all. I'm glad to see I'm far from the only one who, when presented with that extreme, is going, "Nope. No thank you."

[sunriseverse]

Prompt: "It’s fine,” Hermann interrupts, but his voice makes it clear that this is anything but fine. Like he has to hide his feelings completely to keep them from being hurt. Newt never wants to hear him sound like that again. “No, Hermann, really. I had a great time! I’ve just been busy, is all. What’s the matter?” “Nothing’s the matter, Newton,” Hermann lies, softer this time. Newton doesn’t believe him for a second.

this took altogether too long and i apologise for that, but it’s finally done, and i hope you enjoy it

-

"You're leaving?"

Hermann's face is pinched; a diversion from its usual flat, unreadable (to other people, anyway) look. Newt wonders if he's just annoyed, or if he's genuinely hurt. Newt, for one, would be—but, to be fair, he probably likes Hermann more than Hermann likes him.

He shrugs. "Only a few months—don't worry, I'll be back before you know it," he adds, trying for teasing.

It apparently doesn't go over well—or goes over too well—because when Hermann speaks, his tone is a bit sharper than the situation really calls for. "Trust me," he says, "I'll be aware of every moment of your absence��if only because, for once, there will be some peace and quiet."

Newt thinks that's a bit dramatic. He's not that loud. Well—okay, so maybe he sometimes leaves the radio on too loud, or one of his samples explodes, but that was one time. Hermann has no right to still be all pissy over that.

"Don't touch my samples," he says, instead, "I know you want to throw them away, but those are, like, important to saving the human race, even if you hate them."

"I wasn't going to—!" Hermann sputters, like the lying liar he is.

Newt scoffs. "Sure," he says, sarcastically, "just like you were never going to hate me." The words are out of his mouth before he can think; and he only realises his mistake a moment later. Sorry, he wants to say, fuck, Herms, I'm so sorry, but they're not quite that close anymore, and Newt's bus is here in fifteen minutes so he kind of has to hustle.

Hermann doesn't show any sign of having been affected, and Newt is, in equal parts, glad and pained by it. "I shan't touch them," he says, and maybe his voice is a bit tighter. Could just be Newt's imagination, but he hopes it's not. "You have my word."

"Right," Newt says, after a beat. "Okay. Great. Well, uh, I have to get going—Marshal Yu won't be happy if I miss my bus ride."

"No," Hermann agrees, "he won't. Off you go."

Newt bites the inside of his cheek. He wants to say bye, but the air between them is too awkward; so he just gives a slight tilt of his head and turns on his heel, leaving Hermann behind him.

Newt barely manages to grab his suitcase from his room and get to the bus stop on time—he has to sprint a bit, so he's huffing and puffing and collapses into one of the seats; hence why he doesn't realise until about an hour into the ride that he has a text.

It's from Hermann; Newt opens his messages to find four image attachments, one of each of his current main samples, and a singular caption: Your samples are safe and sound.

Newt finds himself smiling despite his remaining windedness; and he shifts slightly in his seat so he can type comfortably.

thanks, he types, and then deletes it, twice; and settles on truly a man of honour because he means it, but also he's not going to pass up a chance to twig Hermann about his weird Victorianisms.

-

A few days into his stay, he gets another text from Hermann; the sound startling him from his thoughts. He's been busy coordinating sample deliveries all day, and he's only just gotten a moment of silence.

He pulls his phone out. Are you free? reads Hermann's text.

Newt frowns. yeah, why? he shoots back. did something happen?

No, I was just wondering if you had a moment to talk?

Oh. Is he going to—? Newt really hopes so. He's started to miss the prickly physicist, honestly. His suspicions are proved correct a moment later when the ellipses appear, and then: A phone call, perhaps?

Newt bites his tongue. Measured response, Geiszler, he reminds himself. sure, he replies. what time?

Now?

Newt does his best not to jump out of his seat. no yeah that's great.

A beat later his phone rings; and, hand shaking slightly, he taps the accept call icon. "Hey," he says, and then curses how his voice cracks in the middle of the word. "What's up?"

Hermann's voice, tinny and small, crackles through. "Just making sure you hadn't died."

"Aww," Newt grins, "you're worried about me?"

A sigh; and then, grudgingly: "I..." he can practically imagine Hermann's pursed-lip expression; like someone who bit into a lemon without realising it and now is regretting every facet of his life. "I can't trust the other K-Scientists there to make sure you don't harm yourself with some experiment."

"Dude, I'm a fully competent scientist myself," Newt points out; and then, softer, "I'm fine, I promise. You don't need to bother yourself worrying about me, okay?"

"I never said I was worrying," Hermann snaps; sounding slightly raw; and Newt resists the instinctive urge to raise his hands placatingly.

"Fine. You weren't worrying about me. But I am alright."

"Good," Hermann says; and then, again, "good."

Newt fidgets. "Anything else you need, or...? 'cause I have to get back to dealing with moving some specimens in a minute."

"Oh. Er, no," Hermann replies. "Goodbye, Newton."

"Goodbye," Newt says, but the line's already gone dead. He sighs.

The next week is so hectic Newt almost forgets about the call, at least until his phone rings again, the caller ID reading herms. He picks it up immediately. "Yeah?"

With the perpetual awkwardness he seems prone to, Hermann says, "Er, hello Newton. I was just calling to make sure—well, I just hadn't heard from you in over a week. I—ah, nevermind," he finishes weakly.

Newt frowns. "No, dude, obviously something's on your mind—"

"It’s fine,” Hermann interrupts, but his voice makes it clear that this is anything but fine. Like he has to hide his feelings completely to keep them from being hurt. Newt never wants to hear him sound like that again. "How's your time there been, with the specimens? —and don't tell me it's been 'alright'."

“No, Hermann, really. I'm having a great time! I’ve just been busy, is all. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing’s the matter, Newton,” Hermann lies, softer this time. Newton doesn’t believe him for a second.

"Something obviously is—wait," he says; frown deepening. "You said I 'didn't call for a week'—were you worried about me?"

"No," Hermann lies again; and Newt sighs.

"I'm sorry, dude, I've just...like I said, I've been busy. I'm sorry for worrying you, though, okay?"

"It's fine," Hermann says; again; and Newt wants to smack him for being an idiot.

Instead he just says, "Obviously it's not. Look, I've got a meeting in a few, but—do you want to call again afterwards? And then we can talk about setting up regular call-times so that you don't worry too much."

There's a beat; and for a moment, Newt's afraid that he's going to refuse; and then he says, "Alright. That would be...I would like that. Thank you."

"'course," Newt says. "Now I gotta go, but I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," Hermann repeats. "Goodbye, Newton."

"Goodbye," Newt replies, and smiles slightly when he realises that Hermann waited an extra few seconds before hanging up.

[2idiots]

Keep Yourself Alive

pt. 6 // pt. 7 // pt. 8a

word count: 1,667ish

NCT Frat Social Media AU // College Athlete & Fratboy Lucas x reader

warnings: not really any, kind angsty, more than just mentions of chronic pain

(I don't know how but the second paragraph got deleted when I first uploaded. I have since added it in. So if you see something new that's why)

---

Getting Johnny from outside the building to inside your room was a lot more difficult than you expected. This was partially because your best friend was much drunker than his texts suggested and partially because each step was sending a pain reverberating down your legs and up your abdomen. A pain that you knew the mild over-the-counter pain meds would do little to numb but you had taken them with false hope anyway. Before your best friend had forced you into letting his drunkass in you were curled into your bed with a heating pad pressed into your abdomen, hoping eventually exhaustion would win over excruciating pain.

This was the real reason you bolted out of Jet Lag the minute your friends were off in different directions distracted. The pain had triggered before Mark's open mic night started but you were not about to miss the night you friend had been talking about for weeks. This was so important to him and you had to be there. So you sucked it up and promised yourself to duck out the moment it was clear and Mark had performed. Woo noticing and staying over for a few hours was just a welcomed surprise. And the leftover baked goods he brought were another plus side, not that you had any appetite. At least your blubbering fool of a friend would benefit from the pile of pastries sitting on your desk, if you could make it past the giggling desk attendant.

The first time you walked passed her with bleary eyes, focused on only the task ahead she called out something about the “cute Oppa” at the door. Immediately a gag raced up your throat at that, Johnny? A cute Oppa? Gross. He was like your brother, actually more like your overprotective mother. Sure you joked about Johnny being a daddy, but it was all shits and giggles to make him mad with Mark. He wasn't actually one.  The second time she made some sort of pass at him that you blocked out and stifled another gag. You didn’t need to see or hear that child making passes at your best friend.

That wasn’t the only thing she was giggling at though. You and Johnny were quite the sight. He was a stumbling, stuttering fool and you were wearing pajamas that had been picked out in the dark, not even your shoes matched. These were things you had thrown on when Johnny begged you to let him in but your headache was pounding too much to turn the lights on, which was also the reason for the sunglasses. 

Speaking of Big Foot, he was using you almost completely as a support and he weighed a lot more than his bony ass looked. How he managed to make it to your building from 7th Sense was beyond you, he could barely make it three steps without giggling and sliding around. Honestly this made you more than a little nervous for Mark, usually he was the giggly one after a few drinks. If Johnny was this drunk, then Mark could very well be dead.

Overall the hardest obstacle for Johnny to maneuver around was your actual room. He tripped over everything. Maybe it was his long spindly legs combined with the alcohol, but he even fell just trying to walk over your rug. You had to catch him before he face planted. Of course he just contiuned blabbering about the night and how well it went the whole time, even while laughing at his clumsiness. “Then Mark fell! Kinda like how he is falling for sunflower boy but like fell… on the actual ground… like how I just almost fell!” To which you just nodded, handing him a pastry and an ice cold water bottle. “And Jae was so funny, he was talking about the basketball team and one of their parties last week where someone drank beer from a ball that had been cut in half. Isn’t that gross?”

“Yeah babe, real gross,” You nodded, trying to push him toward your bed. You might not have been asleep before he messaged but you were still in bed ready to sleep and you wanted to be back there. “Can you get in bed, Jojo? I'll tired.”

Following your direction like a lost lamb, Johnny swiftly removed all his out layers and climbed into your bed continuing to talk about the basketball team and how pretty and funny they were, all the while giving you very pointed looks. Or at least he was prattling on until he went completely silent and tense before screeching, “THERE’S SOMETHING WARM!”

Arms crossed and irritation pulsed through you at the scream, you leaned over to pull the heating pad out from under him and wiggled it around in your outstretched hand, “Johnny you’ve met HP before, HP meet Big Foot.”

“HP? You named your heating pad?” He questioned already snuggling back into your sheets like he owned the bed. This happened every time he was over, sober or drunk it didn’t matter; Johnny took up every blanket and pillow in your entire bed: partially because his size, mostly because he was an asshole. One of the many reasons you were hesitant to let him stay over anymore, even though you always ended up letting him stay.

“Might as well, he’s in my bed so often,” You grinned before grabbing another water bottle out of the mini fridge in the corner of the room and tossing it his direction. While this wasn’t a common occurrence, drunk Johnny, you did know that he would wake up in three hours whining about a dry mouth and you didn't want to deal with it.

“I mean he wasn’t on Halloween.” Luckily you flipped the lights off before you could see his suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Here was the worst part, talkative drunk Johnny taking an interest in your life and trying to lay down his tips on life. 

Grabbing an extra blanket for yourself you slid in next to him and laughed that thought off, “Actually HP was, ALSO I thought we agreed to not talk about Halloween, leave the past behind us and all.”

“Behind us? Is that how you like it y/n?” He let out a slight whimper when you turned over enough to give him a solid kick to the shin. This alcohol was giving him far more confidence than normal and you didn’t like it. Throwing his hands up, Johnny tossed out a worthless apology and whined, “I deserved that ok. But you know I wouldn’t call it the past, don’t you tutor the dude?”

That elicited a quiet response from you, a simple, “Yeah.”

“Isn’t it like two or three times a week?” He didn’t stop his incessant babbling long enough for you to answer, adding on, “You’re quite popular, my friends keep asking about you too.” Then a switch suddenly flipped in Johnny’s mind, evident by how he practically climbed over you to switch the lamp back on and give you his best mom glare, “Wait, you’re sleeping with HP?” You let out a few weak protests as the light flooded your room and his bony ass arm squished you down into the bed digging into your side. Drunk friends sucked. Too bad you loved them too much to leave them on the street. “So you’re in pain? You’re in pain and you didn’t say anything? You just went home alone and lied to Mark and me?”

“Johnny I always sleep with a heating pad and I’m always in pain. It's not a big deal.” Tonight just happened to be bad, still was, but you left that part out. “Also Jungwoo just left; I wasn’t alone.” That was accompanied by a successful effort to push him off so you could flip the light off again and snuggle into the heating pad again. “Now go to sleep, I'm tired.”

There was a brief moment of silence before you heard sniffling and an occadsional shuffle.

“Are you crying?” You asked incredulously, flipping over to see him hastily wiping away his tears in the ambient light filtering in through the window. Sure enough, your bitch-ass best friend was laying on the other side of the bed using his white undershirt to wipe his tears away. At least he was smart enough not to use your sheets as the tissue. “Stop crying.” This was new. Your friends probably knew way too much about how hard your days were getting, in fact Johnny had driven you to the ER one too many times over the past year and a half, but they had never cried in front of you. At least not about you. 

You hated it.

His immediate response was denial, no he wasn’t crying. These weren’t tears, they were allergies. "Leaks in my face." But you still heard him mutter a muted “I just want you to be happy and not in pain” as the alcohol running through his system finally knocked him out.

You were struck silent, not sure how to respond. Sure he was your closest friend and that meant he had to like you, but this affection made breathing a little hard: your chest not quite expanding like it should. You felt a warm tear roll down your cheek as you turned to face the other side of the room, an effort to get away. This was exactly why you didn't tell them about tonight, you didn't want them burdened with your pain. They should have to suffer just because you were. 

Ignoring the ache in your chest, you blindly reached out for where you set your phone on the bedside table. You still may not be able to sleep but you could get some reading done and maybe forget the sound of Johnny's tears. And maybe, just maybe, the words would lull you into some dreamlike state so you could rest. It was only a few minutes into reading that a text interrupted the chapter. 

summary: College is hard enough, right? Coursework, two jobs, a social life, and the state of your mental health. As if that was enough now the school’s no.1 athlete won’t leave you alone after a one night stand. And maybe you like him back but you have a tendency to run when life gets too difficult especially now that undiagnosed chronic pain just seems to be getting worse with each passing month.

(I've decided updates will be Thursday at 6pm. I hope you enjoy this chapter)

Taglist: @princeofshenzhenuwus

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Are you okay? My parents would've paid for a cab if they weren't sober enough to drive you back Amelia: My dad was [somewhere nearby cos JJ live in town] Jac: Oh, right Jac: you seized your opportunity then, alright Jac: Is still should've gone with to make sure Amelia: I didn't want her to, she was in too excitable a mood Jac: lol, can't really fault you that Jac: you got a headache, yeah? Amelia: I got the aura so I knew it was time to leave, last time I ignored that I was sick everywhere Jac: That's fair Jac: you do not want that unless you've had a really wild night Amelia: sorry I didn't say bye Jac: well that's okay, if you didn't have time Jac: we were just worried Amelia: is Is okay? I was probably a bit rude to her Jac: Don't worry, she seems fine Jac: you know her Amelia: yeah Amelia: alright cool Jac: make sure you stay hydrated, yeah Jac: and no more screentime Amelia: I'll 😴 it off if I can Jac: Sounds like a plan 🙂 Amelia: it sounds 😕 but I couldn't stay Jac: you can't help that you get migraines Jac: it must be so crap for you Amelia: we've all got crap to deal with Amelia: I wouldn't swap Sav for hers Jac: 😢 I know Jac: she deals so well, considering how fresh it all is Amelia: Where's her boyfriend at? It's not technically a night you can get away with chucking fireworks at your mates or cars Jac: Out on the lash with his mates Jac: or something Amelia: very supportive Jac: yeah, I know Jac: oh well, she had us Amelia: you, you mean Jac: are you not her friend too? Amelia: that's up for debate, but she'd win it over me Amelia: so it probably depends what she wants the answer to be Amelia: and who's asking Jac: She definitely views you as a friend Amelia: okay Jac: No, come on, you don't think she does? Amelia: I know she doesn't Jac: Why do you think that? Amelia: I know it because she's said a handful of words to me lately & all of them are in some way bitchy or patronising Jac: How many have you said to her? Jac: and how nice have you been to her? Amelia: I don't like her, I'm not going to act like I do Jac: Then the issue is a you thing, isn't it Jac: Savannah does like you, and it's not really on to say you know otherwise, simply because that's how you feel about her Amelia: no, it's a me and her clash Amelia: it isn't one-sided Jac: Okay, if you say so Jac: but I don't see her trying to start anything with you, and like I said, I've told you she's told me privately that she likes you Jac: she knows you aren't her biggest fan though Amelia: she would say that to you Jac: Now you're being ridiculous Amelia: no I'm not, she wants me to look like I'm the dickhead and it's clearly working Jac: well no, what she wants is friends who can support her through this tough time and not make her life any more shit Jac: I really do not think she has the time, never mind the desire, to play games to make you look like some kind of villain ??? Jac: we seriously do not need to be that dramatic about things Amelia: fine Jac: it clearly isn't but I'm not going to agree with you Jac: you're not feeling well right now, you're just lashing out Amelia: you sound as patronising as her now Jac: for giving you an excuse for your behaviour? Jac: it's being gracious Amelia: I don't need to be fucking excused Amelia: I haven't done anything wrong Jac: You're being rude to Savannah and now you're being rude to me Jac: you're attacking and saying you're being attacked Jac: just calm down and we can come back to this when you aren't in such a state Amelia: yeah because she's the only one whose dramatics you indulge Amelia: I haven't been rude to her, I've made an effort Amelia: it doesn't change my opinion Jac: You're accusing her of having some plot right now, also of not liking you, being bitchy and patronising...yeah, that's rude, Amelia Jac: and oddly enough, when she went off crying, it was not about you Jac: call it dramatics if you want, but I'd say her home life situation warrants more empathy and listening to than whatever this idea, about us being against you or something, that you've concocted does Amelia: I'm not on her radar when she isn't subtly slagging me off or wishing I'd fuck off, obviously it wasn't about me Amelia: the latter is way less subtle though Jac: You're right in that I'm not indulging this Jac: you're just wrong, that's it Jac: but if you won't listen to reason, and me, then there's nothing else I can do to change your mind Amelia: you wanting me to be wrong doesn't make me wrong Jac: you having no proof for her dislking you, bar the fact you dislike her, doesn't make it true Jac: if you want to walk around thinking people have a problem with you when they don't, that's your call Jac: it's sad but it's clearly an internal issue Amelia: there's proof in every group chat if you want to go back & read it Jac: the fact you're in a group chat together, to plan to do stuff, to talk, kinda negates that Amelia: no it doesn't Jac: totally, when you hate someone and want them to fuck off, you choose to spend time talking to them when you don't have to Amelia: she doesn't spend any time talking to me Jac: well it isn't a private chat Jac: do you expect her to ignore me and Is? Jac: if you wanna have a 1x1 she'd be more than happy, like Amelia: Oh, she ignores Is plenty Amelia: but that's not my fight to have Jac: 🙄 I can assure you, we understand how DMs work Jac: if we wanted to talk just us, we would, and do Jac: and Is seems fine to me, like I said Amelia: great Jac: 🤷 okay then Amelia: 👋 Jac: I hope you feel better when you wake up Amelia: thanks Jac: Night Amelia: goodnight Jac: [hope you do go to sleep so you don't see those gay ass stories] Amelia: [you know she will because she's not actually sick soz gal] Jac: [i mean, you do have 24 hours so bit of a long shot when you're this in love lol] Amelia: [everyone gonna be seeing it including Ty who has been lowkey ignored all night as well] Amelia: [we should say she writes something but then deletes it so Jac only knows she deleted it for the sheer gay drama of it] Jac: [none of y'all got invites to this sleepover, but yes 1000%] Jac: ? Amelia: 🤨 Jac: butt-dial? Amelia: why would I be sitting on my phone? Amelia: I'm not thrashing about with a 🤒 Jac: I don't know why you'd delete a message either Jac: unless you sent me something really 💦 meant for someone else, in which case I wanna know anyway Amelia: I can nurse myself Amelia: though there are loads of lads who would put me to sleep Jac: 🙀 Amelia! Amelia: no Amelia: 🥱 NOT whatever you're thinking Jac: Sure 😉😂 Amelia: 😣 Jac: So grouchy Jac: I'd know if you were texting someone Amelia: would you? Jac: of course Jac: what secret have you ever kept from me? Amelia: I didn't need to before Jac: you don't need to now Jac: you aren't going to shock me with your thirst Amelia: I'm staying hydrated like you instructed Amelia: there's nothing to tell, which is why I pressed delete Jac: What did you say? Amelia: if I repeat it there was literally no point in deleting it Amelia: so no, nothing Jac: Well why did you? Amelia: because it's 😳 Jac: how 😳 can it be Jac: we've known each other at our most cringe Amelia: that was us both being awkward not just me making a massive tit of myself Jac: rude Jac: you're meant to disagree Amelia: alright, I'll lie Jac: you're already being very sneaky, you may as well Amelia: okay Jac: no, tell me, dickhead! Amelia: rude Jac: you're rude Jac: you know you can't just take back a message Amelia: I have & I win Jac: you can't do it without leaving evidence Jac: and I'm not just going to drop it Amelia: 🙄 Jac: why are you saying shit to my virtual face then Amelia: how else am I supposed to speak to you? Jac: I'm not going to apparate into your room 'cos you fancy having a go Jac: don't be a baby, what did you say Amelia: maybe I was saying sorry but you're so undeserving I took it back Amelia: that'd be fitting Jac: oh right, your whole conspiracy theory Jac: you forgot for a hot sec you believed in that, yeah, sure Amelia: it's typical of you to only give a shit about what I'm trying to say when I'm not saying it anymore Jac: you left without saying anything earlier Jac: then you wouldn't speak to me 'cos you were in a huff but yeah, pop off Amelia: I didn't have time to search your 🏠 for you earlier Jac: and I said it was okay but don't act like I was ignoring you Amelia: you were Amelia: but I get it, Savannah's in greater need Jac: oh my God, do you actually get it though Jac: like could you Jac: because this is really gross Amelia: of course I do, her parents are mental and it's horrible Jac: I mean, nicely put Jac: so you don't need to be snippy with me about needing to spend like 10 minutes alone so she can talk about it without my whole family standing around Amelia: I was the one who told you, ages ago, so you already know what I mean Amelia: and I'm not, I'm explaining why I left without saying anything before you hold it against me any harder Jac: you aren't just explaining though, because that was never the question Jac: you said I was ignoring YOU Jac: I said it was fine you left, you had a migraine Amelia: because it's not just about 10 minutes alone so she can cry on your shoulder and you fucking know it's not Jac: you don't like her Amelia: she takes over everything, including my birthday Jac: She was just trying to make sure you had a nice time Amelia: then why didn't I? Amelia: if she really cares so much about what I want, why wasn't it perfect? Jac: She's not a miracle worker Jac: I'm just saying she tried, can you fault someone for having good intentions? Amelia: she cares about you two having a good time, she doesn't try with me Amelia: because guess what, chucking money at something doesn't actually count Amelia: you used to know that Jac: you can't say how much she does or doesn't try Jac: maybe she's really trying, and I happen to think she is, and I've got it on better authority than you Jac: as you said, it's not as if she's had close friends before really Jac: you could give her a break instead of being ungrateful about it Amelia: you could give me a break Jac: no, you're being mean Jac: and blaming her for problems you're having Jac: like how dare she treat you? Amelia: the problem is that you used to care how I feel about things and apparently now you don't Jac: I can care without indulging pointless bitchery Jac: if you told me what was actually wrong with you, I'd listen, I'd do whatever I could to help, you know that Amelia: no, you're not listening Jac: You aren't saying anything Jac: you keep slagging Savannah off, and I counter that and then you stop Jac: what is actually going on Amelia: I've been saying the same thing this entire time, for fuck's sake Jac: When you wanna say what's actually going on with you, and think about that in a way that doesn't involve Savannah Jac: then I'm here waiting Amelia: I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend it with you Amelia: Why can't we literally EVER? Why does she have to be involved in literally everything? Jac: We do spend time without her Jac: but we can't exclude her when she wants to be involved, she's our friend Amelia: she's not my friend Amelia: I'm trying, I am Jac: okay, she's my friend though Jac: we can spend time together, alright Amelia: okay Jac: pick a day, pick something to do, let me know Amelia: sure, put me on the spot Jac: 🙄 god, not RIGHT now Jac: but give me something more committal than that 'okay' or it won't happen Amelia: okay!! Amelia: are you happy now? Amelia: I just said how much I miss you Jac: like I'm that desperate for attention, again, rude Amelia: clearly not if I have to be the one begging you for yours Jac: oh hush Jac: I invited you to something like, literally 5 seconds ago Jac: you were the one that ruined it with your 🤕 Amelia: I didn't mean to ruin anything Jac: I'm joking Jac: I'll survive Amelia: I'm serious Amelia: and sorry, obviously Jac: it's fine, actually fine Jac: you shouldn't worry about it Amelia: if you want me to try harder, I'll try harder, alright Jac: I'd appreciate it Jac: I think she would too, and you Jac: getting along would just be easier Jac: you don't have to be like, her own personally cheerleader Amelia: I can't work miracles either Jac: you said you'd try Jac: I don't know why it's so hard for you but I can't really ask more than that Amelia: you really don't get it? Jac: No, I really don't Amelia: okay Jac: I'll leave you to it Amelia: bye again Jac: You have planning to do Amelia: you love a competition Amelia: what happens if I lose? Jac: What competition? Jac: I'm not planning anything Amelia: so it's a test instead Amelia: it's the same question Jac: we can still hang out, as you asked Jac: I'll just be bored if you pick something boring, I suppose Amelia: when have I EVER picked anything boring? Jac: 🤷 Jac: we'll see Amelia: don't 🤷 at me Amelia: you've never been bored Jac: you're so touchy 😂 Jac: I can't do anything Friday, by the way, so don't pick Friday Amelia: do you want to assign me a day? Jac: Probably Sunday Jac: I'm working after school every other day Jac: Saturday is up in the air right now Amelia: alright Jac: free time is just not a thing I have Amelia: I know, I'm not touchy about that bit Jac: I'm not going to sit here and tell you you're not boring, Amelia Jac: what kind of midlife crisis Amelia: Shut up, I don't need that from you Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: 👉😠 Amelia: you don't need to teach me sign language either Jac: you're gonna side with the 12 year old asshole on that, are you Jac: yeah that's about right mentality wise 🙄 Amelia: according to you there aren't any sides, we're all friends and everything is 🌹y Amelia: so no Jac: Jude isn't our friend, she's my sister and she's a little bitch sometimes Amelia: yeah, again, I know Amelia: Savannah's the one who needs family introductions Jac: She knows who everyone is Jac: you're being so whiny, it's just annoying now Amelia: leave me to it then, that's what you said you were going to do Jac: Yeah, and I definitely will now Jac: christ, is it any wonder I'm not electing to spend time with just you Jac: think about it Amelia: It's already all I think about Amelia: I don't want to fight with you Jac: it's not hard, Amelia Jac: as I said, Savannah doesn't devote her time to bitching about you, or anyone else Jac: nor does she walk around with a massive strop on all the time Amelia: I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Just stop acting like this Amelia: I'm not acting like anything, that's the problem Amelia: it's how I feel Jac: You're gonna have to sort it out Jac: it's not healthy for you Jac: or good for us or anyone else Amelia: I said I'll try Jac: you've got to Jac: it's for your own best interest Amelia: yeah Jac: yeah Amelia: 👋