#anyway i won't be checking that account for a few hours but feel free to send me whatever

[mindless-hypnotoy]

suddenly remembered that i made an nsfw alt on discord and never used it. you are all welcome to send me friend requests and messages on there, the username is the same as on here but with an underscore instead of a dash

yeah you could just dm me here but there are some things that i'd feel more comfortable sending on a website without a porn ban (and i dunno about anyone else but i personally just have an easier time talking there than i do in tumblr dms)

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Lapses

Billy x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: In the wake of death our minds begin to wander. To better times, to little moments. Reality is so fickle in the minds of the weak. But he's coming back. Eventually.

Tags: No use of Y/N, hurt/no comfort, set mostly during the nine months Reader spent grieving before Billy returned in 'My Ghost,' disassociation, distorted reality, death, references to 'Twin Peaks' (1992).

Previous Works in Series: 'My Ghost' (original) • 'Repentance' (prequel)

Warning: You should at minimum read 'My Ghost' before reading this work in the series first. (For best reading experience, please read both previous works beforehand.)

Notes: :)

-¤°》◇《°¤-

Down comes clumps of wet snow from the grey sky, falling.

                And falling.

                         And falling.

I don't know when I wake up.

The TV has been on for hours. Flashing the same photos.

He smiled at me from across the room.

Don't think. Don't perceive. Don't focus.

"I think you look pretty with your hair like that," I told him. His cheeks are so rosy when he smiles.

Smiled.

Why is he smiling?

Where is that photo even from? Have they contacted me with any new details? Check your email.

"Is the internet working? I can't get this fucking email to go through."

He left on an errand.

"Did the auto-payment go through for the bill?"

He's coming back.

"You didn't tell me that was due, I don't have anything on the account."

He's coming back.

"You don't have anything?"

He's coming back.

"I don't have anything."

What are you supposed to do after a death?

There's no guide. There's no instruction manual. Grieve, move on. That's it. That is all we know. How am I supposed to do the second if the general public disapproves so heavily of the first?

There's a long while I don't even leave my house. I lock the doors, shut the curtains tight and nail them to the walls so he can't leave. Like he's captured in my basement, wilting in the darkness as I try to preserve his voice ringing in my ears like the sirens on the TV I eventually break when I throw the remote at it in a fit of rage and desperation.

"It's a piece of shit anyways," Billy would say when he saw it again. "I always meant to buy us a new one."

First thing I did when I found out was rip open my nightstand drawer. "William, have you ever shot a man?" I ask, bolting upright as I wipe the crust from my eyes.

"What the fuck did you do? What the fuck did you do?" I whispered under my breath. "Where the fuck is the gun?in my nightstand. And if I don't get some sleep soon, I'm going to use it. I haven't before, but I can't imagine it's hard."

I tore the house apart looking for it. He's unwell. Wasn't it just last night he was curled on my bed, so sweet and small as he stared at the wall in front of him?

He didn't feel well. He said his stomach hurts. My stomach hurts. Must have been something he ate, he mentioned a mistake. He wouldn't do this of his own free will, I know him.

He walks through the living room, pulling on a jacket to fight the cold air that seeps through the thin windows.

"Whatcha watching?"

Your report "'Twin Peaks,'" I told him.

"Oh shit, seriously? I haven't seen that since high school," he laugh'sowhodoicallabouttheremains?"

"Apparently they came out with a new season," I said. "Got us a free trial if we wanna watch."

"We gotta start from the beginning. Won't make sense if we don't," he says as he throws himself and one other dead thus far against the couch, almost landing on top of me in his excitement. It makes me scream.

Our first date was a little bit of a mess. I wasn't really expecting to meet someone when I did. But I met him. And he was sweet.

"So he didn't tell you anything about this?"

I've dated. I've seen a few guys. Not to sound easy, it was only a handful. But I'd only dated one other guy seriously. It was high school, lasted all the way through. Didn't end well.

"He was running an errand. He does it all of the time."

Billy picked me up fifteen minutes early. Claimed Google overshot the time estimate to my address, so he left early. Later he admitted it was a lie.

                                   But he's not a liar. Why won't anyone believe me?

"What does he do on the errands?"

"I don't know, get groceries or something. I never asked."

                         I never wanted to know.

Billy hasd this romantic side to him. Oh yes, Mister 'Primps and Primes in Front of The Mirror For an Hour Just To Get Drinks' had a flare for the dramatics. Who would have thought? And he showed up with this grocery store bouquet of lilies and baby's breath mixed with wildflowers from the local park.

"They price the hell out of these things for half the product. Figured I'd give you the proper amount," he said with a wink.

"Did you know he was affiliated with gang activities?"

"No!" Yes. "Of course not!" I helped him pack a bag of coke about a week ago.

Did you know that I love the color blue?

                                                                        No.

Mm hmm. Had it on everything. Even dyed my hair that color in high school.

      You with blue hair? You're full of shit.

No, I'm serious! Hated the bleaching process though. Do you know how bad it looks when you grow out dark hair from neon blue?

                          I imagine It'd look co-

Ld.

                              It's cold.

It's been a week. The police have decided I have nothing to do with this. The town has nothing to do with me.

The house is in shambles. But some things are prestine. Like his ashtray sitting on the kitchen table. I kept the surface clean for him, for when he comes back. A string of photos is on the wall from when we went to the arcade and found a photo booth. Half of them are photos of us just looking at each other. Not kissing. Not smiling. Just looking. He has such gentle eyes, you know? I tried to draw them once. They're really hard. They're just so soft, just the right angle. The skin on his eyes crease so specifically. And if you don't draw them right, it doesn't look like him at all. Told him I was gonna get it perfect eventually.

"I may have to go away for a little bit."

They won't give me anything to bury. They won't let him come home. One time Billy was trapped at a bus station during a snow storm and couldn't come home. He'd been running an errand for a friend. I think I know who that friend is now. Billy could hardly even call on the phone from how bad the storm was. He was so cold. Said he wished I was here. Said how much he misses me. Said there was a rerun of 'Twin Peaks' at the station keeping him company. So I put on the same episode and stared at the TV while I waited for him to regain service and let me know where he was. I told him to give me a call when he could.

I'm at the bottom of his closet. Our closet. I don't know why I'm here.

       When I was a child, I liked small spaces

Yeah?

"This is a hard time. It's only natural that you're grieving," says my mother on the other side of the phone.

A month ago Billy sat across from me, eyes trained on the TV as we smoked our way through season two.

"If I have a psychotic break, would you reenact history for me?" He teased around his joint.

"Why don't you go to church?"

"No one talks to me there. I've tried, momma. They hate me. They keep thinking I was in on it." I helped him pack a bag of coke.

"God won't judge you."

Scientists aren't really sure what happens to your mind when you die.

I've looked it up. Once. Read an article. Well, read is a strong word. More accurately I stared at it on my ancient computer I'd had since college while I disassociated for hours on end trying desperately to concentrate. Maybe it's morbid, but when your soon-to-be husband dies in a fire one is prone to wonder about such a thing.

Recent articles suggest DMT- a psychedelic drug that can occur naturally in plants -can actually be produced by your brain in the final moments of brain activity.

"Do you think there's anything after this?" He'd asked me one time as we layed beneath the stars, sand in our hair from the beach of the lake.

"I think we see what we need so that we'll be content as we drift away."

"Studies of animals undergoing brain death have found that the organ begins to release numerous signaling molecules and creates unusual brainwave patterns to try to resuscitate itself, even as it shuts down external signs of consciousness."

I'm sorry. I can't focus anymore. On anything. I feel like my lungs are being squeezed from bottom to top like a tube of gogurt.

We were hardly paying attention to the show anymore. So smoked out it was hilarious to us, laughing at everything as we focused on nothing except for the feeling of each others skin. My hands on his cheeks, his hands covering mine so soothingly. It was so sweet when he guided me off the floor where I lay. Julee Cruise sang on the old TV. Falling, falling. All I can feel is falling as he guides me into a gentle sway across the old shag carpet lit with the mid-July sunset, holding me like I'll fall far, far away.

"I think I've fallen in love with you," Billy whispered against my ear. His breath is warm.

"Yeah?" I'm too high for this conversation. I didn't even realize how low my tolerance had gotten since the last time I smoked. "You make me feel like I'm in high school again."

We'd danced the whole night. He didn't know hardly any of the songs, causing him to be off beat. I was too drunk to keep time, so I stepped on his leather boots enough times there was a visible scuff on the top of one by the end of the night. I always felt bad, offering to replace or help pay to fix it. He wouldn't let me.

"I could die tomorrow and I'd be happy," Billy confessed in a strained voice, finally letting all of the walls come tumbling down around us to the gentle beat of the song. "I'm so glad I got to meet you."

I was so nervous during our first date that I forgot how to eat hummus properly. It sounds so silly, doesn't it? But there was something about him. He wore this white button up shirt, basic jeans that were tight on his thighs. Not that I was looking. Much. His hair was combed neatly, gelled away from his face in a chic manner. Really, he took the whole thing so seriously he almost looked like some youth pastor they would have shuffled into a room with high schoolers to play a guitar and say 'you know, I was troubled once'  before offering his story of repentance. It was so different from how he usually looked. Was he scared?

But anyways, I was so nervous that when they brought us our tray of hummus and bread to share, I took my little triangle slices and barely dipped them so to not look greedy before shoving the whole piece in my mouth one by one. I didn't even remember I was supposed to tear them apart until a week later. I was just trying to avoid double dipping.

"I think that's the first time I fell in love with you," Billy confessed. I giggle so stupidly, so incredibly high as I float on air.

"Because I was stupid?" I ask.

"Because you were sweet," he said.

There's a long moment of silence, the music swelling and making the cheap TV vibrate from the bass it was unequiped to handle.

"Tell me you'll marry me one day," he whispered.

What do you do with a ring that no one wants you to wear? I'm sorry I couldn't help you.

"Isn't it a little early for that?" I laughed softly.I'm sorry you went out on a romantic whim and borrowed money you shouldn't have for the ring I was too ashamed to wear on the proper finger. "It's only been a year." I don't even think we're dancing anymore. I think I'm sorry you couldn't come back for me.we're just swaying softly to the music flowing around us in a blind stupor, the humidity so suffocating outside that Billy shoved an electric fan in the living room window to try and blow in the cool air earlier that afternoon.

And I'm sorry for hating you when you showed up unannounced at my door.

“It shuts the door to the outside world and takes care of internal business because the house is on fire,”  says biomedical scientist Charlotte Martial of the University of Liège, who studies near-death experiences.

He looks guilty sitting on the bed, watching me fiddle with the small container in front of me.

"You can't bring much," he tells me. There's sadness in his voice, honest and tired. His clothes smell like lavender.

"It's fine," I said.

He simply stares at me, bags heavy under his eyes. He had this spark of life before he returned to me that evening. I'm so glad he's home. Things weren't the same.

"Your hair looks so pretty like that," I said, stepping closer to cup his face in my hands. The contents of my nightstand drawer stabbing the bare skin of my feet as I walk to him. He blushes, looking away in shame.

"You can't ever come back if you leave with me," he says softly.

"I have nothing to return to. Everything is gone," I insisted. But I can see he's having second thoughts, glancing down the hallway. "You can't leave me again."

"What the fuck is that?" I screamed into the phone.

"Baby, I don't know-"

"There is a manhunt for my fucking fiánce who can hardly kill a fucking spider and all you want to say is you don't fucking know?!"

There's an article staring at me. Sent by my mother just a few minutes prior. Billy had been gone for a couple hours after leaving me with a small little keychain on the kitchen table and a soft kiss on my forehead, saying he had some plans for that evening. But he'll be back soon. He wasn't lying.

"I want you to come. But you have to be sure."

His eyes are desperate, staring up at me as I stoke his hair away from his face. His clothes smell like lavender.

They finally sent him home today. Took nine months. First they had to confirm it was his remains. Then I had to decide where I wanted him to go. It's such a hard process trying to get your loved ones back, especially when you were running out of the pills that kept you sane. Kept you wrapped in the thick fog of memories left behind to damn the living in a house that has turned more into a tomb. No sunlight, no visitors. My mother came over to see us once, but the smell was so bad she left soon after. I got a new bottle today. Might as well, after all.

He looks so tired on my bed. Curled in on himself. You could fit him in a box. So small. So tired.

It's so cold.

                  "You know, today would've been our anniversary?"

Zemmar says, because “death is sort of a mystery—we don’t really know what it is.”

I wonder who found me alone in the closet of our room.

                    We were too busy dancing to notice.

▪︎》◇《▪︎

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

Masterlist • Article

[bonesandthebees]

YEAHHHH LMAOO that was the only time I've sent an ask on anon idk why I was so anxious that day LMAOOO

Tho I will say I've debated asking this one question to u so many times and everytime I wanna go on anon but then I realise it would not. Make any sense . If I was on anon so I've just refrained from asking lmaoo (which wow brain as soon as I typed this I've forgotten the question. Good job brain)

ANYWAYS MHMHMHM it's of a strawberry flower!! It's genuinely just such a gorgeous tatt I'd want it for myself even if it wasn't matching so I feel very comfortable getting it in the case we ever split up or anything <3

OOHHH THANK YOU YES PLS FEEL FREE TO GIVE ADVICE I AM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE both for traveling solo in another country (I am Scared) and also tattoo after care?? Like. It's gonna be above my ankle how careful of socks/pants should I be :000

I mean if you ever wanna go on anon to ask me something that's totally fine I get it, and also if you're ever worried about asking me something just know that if I ever don't want to answer a question for any reason (ie: the answer isn't something I want to divulge publicly, I don't feel comfortable talking about that subject, I feel like I just don't have a good answer, etc.) I just won't answer it. it doesn't mean I'm going to hold a grudge against someone who asks me something I don't wanna answer. I get it, people are curious or have questions or whatever and that's fine! if I don't wanna answer I simply won't and that doesn't mean I'm upset or annoyed or anything like that

oooo a strawberry flower sounds so pretty!! I'm sure that's gonna look amazing

okay advice time for travel + tattoos under the cut bc it got long

oh yeah I was gonna say you're from canada right? I think going through customs is a bit easier for US/Canadian citizens traveling between the two countries, but still good luck with the lines. other advice I have for traveling in another country solo... while you might consider getting your currency exchanged, almost everyone and everywhere takes card these days so as long as you have a card that can be used internationally (I believe mastercard and visa are pretty much usable in every country, although I'm sure if it's just between the US and Canada most cards are fine, just make sure to check). but also if you do wanna do currency exchange, wait until you're in the US to do that or else you'll get ripped off. once you're in the US just go to an ATM and withdraw cash from your bank account, and it'll come out in US dollars without the additional fee you'd get from going to a currency exchange place

OKAY TATTOO TIPS

I think most tattoo artists these days use second skin after giving someone a tattoo. it's basically a sticky thin sheet of plastic that the artist will put on top of the tattoo after it's finished, and usually your artist will instruct you to leave it on anywhere from 24 hours to several days. any artist worth their salt will properly explain how long to keep it on for, what to expect and look out for, etc. the second skin will protect the tattoo so you won't have to worry about it rubbing against fabric in the initial few days after getting it. although I'll say taking that stuff off is a BITCH it's like peeling a bandaid off but so much worse

however, your artist might not use second skin. out of my five tattoos, only two of the artists I've been to used second skin which is apparently unusual because from what I've heard from tattoo artists is that it's pretty much standard at this point to use it. however because only my latter two tattoos used second skin, I didn't realize that I have reactions to second skin that make it not suitable for me to use. you might have a reaction as well and that's ok! for me at least my reaction wasn't anything bad, it's just that I noticed a lot of redness around the second skin and when I took it off (earlier than I was supposed to) it left marks around my tattoo that didn't go away for 6 months. so yeah in the future if I go to an artist and they want to use second skin, I'm going to refuse because I've healed 3 tattoos perfectly fine without it. so if your artist doesn't use second skin (and tbh even if they do because you'll need this once you take the second skin off) buy some aquaphor. your artist is probably going to instruct you to wash the tattoo with antibacterial soap 2-3 times a day, and afterwards you should put a thin layer of aquaphor on top of the tattoo to protect it and soothe any dryness or scabbing. it might seem annoying to wash a tattoo so many times a day, but trust me once it starts scabbing you're going to want to wash it because it itches and the aquaphor calms it down.

having the tattoo on your ankle might be tricky since it's too cold to wear shorts, and the hem of your pants might rub against it. try to wear pants that are looser around your ankles (no skinny jeans or leggings) so that the fabric doesn't irritate it. and try to wear socks that don't touch the tattoo.

above all though, your tattoo artist should be able to tell you everything I just told you. don't be afraid to ask them questions. they want your tattoo to heal nicely bc that's their work! and just in general don't be shy to talk to your artist. my first two tattoos aren't bad by any means, but I don't love them because I was too anxious to properly communicate with my artist about what I wanted. don't be afraid to ask them to change something in the design, or if they put the stencil on and you want a different placement tell them! your artist is there to work with you so just talk to them :)

okay that got so much longer than I meant it to hope that helps!!

[hiccanna-tidbits]

HICCANNA MONTH WEEK 1, DAY 2 THE GREAT ESCAPE - BOYS LIKE GIRLS

***

Paper bags and plastic hearts All our belongings in shopping carts It's goodbye, but we've got one more night Let's get drunk and ride around And make peace with an empty town We can make it right

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn Let it die 'Cause we are finally free tonight

Tonight will change our lives It's so good to be by your side We'll cry We won't give up the fight We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs And they'll think it's just 'cause we're young But we'll feel so alive

Throw it away, forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn, let it die 'Cause we are finally free tonight

All the wasted time The hours that were left behind The answers that we'll never find They don't mean a thing tonight

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn, let it die 'Cause we are finally free tonight

***

Hiccup has no idea what to expect when a car horn jerks him awake in the middle of the night, but it's certainly not his girlfriend shamelessly idling her mom's van in his driveway.

"Anna? What are you--" He rubs his eyes, trying to put the pieces together with a half-asleep brain. It's not unusual for Anna's insomnia to keep her up at ungodly hours, but usually she just texts him and requests memes. Not...drive over to his house and honk at him from Iduna Runeardsen's sedan.

"Get in, loser!" Speak of the devil. Another blare tears across his front lawn, making him wince. "We're not going shopping, but I have something much better planned."

"Anna, it's..." He dubiously checks his phone. "12:37."

"And?"

"We're both leaving in a few days."

"Yeah, so?" She's completely unperturbed. He hopes she won't get the satisfaction of seeing him inadvertently smile to himself. "It's not like either of us needs to leave tomorrow. And that's why I'm going to take you on the best date of your life."

"At...one in the morning?"

"Unless you'd rather lie in bed the rest of the night, bitterly ruing that fateful moment you decided to forego having fun to stare at your ceiling."

Hiccup sighs. As his body gradually shuffles itself out of slumber, he starts to smell what she's getting at.

"Please don't tell me you're taking me clubbing."

"So we can thrash around with sweaty strangers and get our butts grabbed?" Anna makes a face. "No thanks."

"I mean...what else is open?"

Anna scoffs.

"The Great Anna Runeardsen and Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, adventurer extraordinaires and absolute ne'er-do-wells, are hardly limited by what is or isn't 'open.'"

Ah. So it was going to be that kind of night.

"Well, shit. Should I dress up?"

Unfortunately, his enthusiasm is interrupted with a yawn. Anna snickers.

"I mean. This is the kind of dress code we're talking about here." She cracks open the passenger door, revealing bedraggled jean shorts and a faded t-shirt she's had since 6th grade. Perfect for a hot August night, and a lifetime of not giving a shit about conventional fashion.

One pair of torn jeans and two sweatshirts (he always brings an extra, as Anna's off-the-cuff planning often doesn't account for her getting cold) later, Hiccup's ready to go.

"So what's the plan, captain?" he asks, barely squeezing the question in before Anna's alt rock playlist swallows all other sound.

"Well, first, we're stopping by the gas station to eat our weight in chips and those spinning hot dog things with the disgusting cheese sauce. And then..."

"Then?"

She breaks into a smirk. "I'm taking you on the thrill ride of your life, Haddock."

"That sounds ominous."

Anna doesn't answer, suddenly declaring that the next track on the playlist is "her jam" and breaking into song. Hiccup can't quite tell if the timing is just that serendipitous, or if Anna planned this all out so as not to have to elaborate.

It would take a scheme, considering how eager she usually is to add on to her statements. Something like this was probably the only way she could harness any self-control.

Either way, Hiccup knows he's in for quite the time.

*

"Anna, what thrilling adventure could possibly be waiting in an empty Target parking lot?"

"Oh, ye of so little faith!"

Leaning on the side of the sedan, Hiccup sighs from behind covered eyes. Crashing and clattering drifts from the trunk, as well as Anna's pained grunts.

"Don't hurt yourself there."

"I'm immune to pain!" she growls. A loud clang of a body part hitting metal and a whimper suggests otherwise.

A noisy crash later, Anna makes a triumphant noise. "Okay! Open your eyes!"

Hiccup finds his girlfriend struggling to right a shopping card, grinning proudly.

"So that's what was rattling around back there."

"It is!" She gives the cart an experimental shove, cheering as it rolls a few feet.

Hiccup smirks. "Anna, I think the Target is closed."

"I'm aware."

"Is your grand plan to have a mid-quality household appliance heist until the first light of dawn?"

"No, although I wouldn't be opposed to trying that some other time." She returns his smirk.

"Okay, genius. What's your aspiration here?"

"We're going to take turns sitting in the shopping cart," she says flatly. "And pushing each other really fast."

And he has to laugh. It's such a painfully Anna idea.

The fact that she looks incredibly smug about this whole thing only makes him laugh harder.

"How on earth did you come up with that?!"

"I asked Jack and Punz for date ideas, and they said there's really no beating this."

"Oh my god." Hiccup shakes his head, smiling fondly. "Of course Jack would encourage this tomfoolery."

"Don't knock it 'til you try it." Anna gestures to the cart. "Get in, nerd. You're going first."

"Eh, fuck it." Hiccup trots over, slotting himself in. "I've got nothing to lose but my dignity."

"Oh, you never had any to begin with," Anna says cheekily. "Neither do I. Pretty sure that's why we like each other."

"You may be onto something," he admits.

"Wait, wait! I almost forgot!"

Anna claps her hands, letting go of the cart handle. The shopping device begins to drift away across the pavement.

Before Hiccup can plead for help, Anna's already scurried back to the car.

His makeshift vehicle has nearly collided with a streetlight when Anna returns. Even with a box of something tucked under one arm, she catches him easily.

He takes a closer look, raising an eyebrow. "Canned palomas?"

"Canned palomas," she confirms. Anna dumps the box into what was once intended to be a baby compartment.

"Is that what you were being all shifty and sneaky about at the back of the gas station?"

The implication takes a moment to dawn on Anna. She scoffs, offended.

"I paid for these! That clerk looked like she was running on, like, 4 hours of sleep tops. Last thing she needs to deal with is alcohol thieves."

"So how did you even...?"

"Elsa's ID." Anna snickers. "Perks of looking like you and your older sister are twins. I get a kick out of talking about my 'bleached hair punk phase.'"

"...does Elsa know you have it?"

"No." She narrows her eyes. "And neither do you, if you know what's good for you."

"All right, all right!" He raises his hands in defeat. Anna slips a drink into one.

"So let me get this straight." He watches as she cracks open a paloma and takes a swig. "Our itinerary is to get plastered, take shopping cart joyrides around an abandoned Target parking lot, and then...drive home?"

"Of course not!" Anna looks aghast. "I wouldn't chug these and drive! Don't worry--we can easily walk where we're headed next."

"While...drunk. In the middle of the night."

She shrugs. "I have pepper spray, a swiss army knife, and my on-and-off boxing training. We are so totally fine."

Just as a protest is bubbling in his throat, Hiccup's hit with a strange wave of calm. It's one of those nights that feels strange enough that something as off-beat as this might as well happen.

He opens his own drink and downs half, shuddering as the bitterness slithers across his tongue. "All right, marshal. Mission is a go."

"Aye aye, admiral!" She gives him a crooked salute before scanning out her route, leaning back like a cat about to pounce.

"Fast as fucc, boi!" she shrieks. Hiccup howls with laughter.

And as they fly off across the pavement, cool night wind rushing past them and brains growing fuzzy and inebriated, Hiccup decides that Anna was right to be proud of this.

*

"Ugh." Hiccup wrinkles his nose as they walk past a group of cigarette-laden teens, the odor making his buzzed head throb. "Please tell me wherever you're taking me, there won't be a lot of that."

He feels a little rude as soon as he says it. He isn't trying to be judgy--he just doesn't want to have to deal with gross smells on the best date of his life.

Apparently the smoking teens are not particularly understanding about this. Apparently he's also a bit louder when he's a few canned palomas in.

The group of adolescents turn and sneer, rightfully clocking how ridiculous Hiccup and Anna look. A belching and giggling teenage couple, stumbling along and pushing an empty shopping cart with them.

(Hiccup isn't sure why Anna insisted they bring the cart along, but at this point, he knows better than to question her. Girl clearly knows what she's about.)

Hiccup tries not to make eye contact. Anna is not rolling over and showing her belly that easily.

"Hey!" she yells. "What the hell are you looking at?"

Hiccup bites his lip. "Anna, I don't know if you want to--"

"Don't worry." She gives his arm a reassuring squeeze. "I've got this, babe."

And that's when Anna Runeardsen lets out the longest and most guttural pterodactyl screech Hiccup has ever heard in his life. Entirely unsure what to do, Hiccup opens his mouth to widths that would thoroughly impress his dentist and mimics her bellow as best he can.

And damn, does it feel good. Like a release of some pent-up energy he didn't even know he had.

You really can't go wrong with "when in doubt, follow Anna's lead."

(Well...you very much can in that it wouldn't be out of character for her to lead them to their demise by means of Preventable Freak Accident. One of these days, she's going to try leaping a gap a little too big. But the sentiment remains that it's usually in your best interest to run with her schemes.)

Their newly-appointed rivals, the slightly-cooler chainsmoker ne'er-do-wells, are suitably frightened. They turn away with their eyes wide, breaking into uneasy whispers.

"Insanity card." Anna leans on the cart, doing finger guns at him. "Works every time. People think you're off your rocker? They leave you alone real fast."

Hiccup snickers. "We should yowl at the next person who looks at us funny. I need to see what happens. ...for science."

Anna gives him an approving fist bump. "Sounds like a plan, love!"

A breeze picks up. Hiccup accidentally breathes another puff of whatever noxious chemicals their rivals are guzzling. He does his best to cough it back out.

To no avail.

"This part of town is so sketchy," he complains. "Are we going to get murdered?"

"Don't be so dramatic." Anna rolls her eyes. "The local serial killers have better things to do than hang out where we're going. You will need these, though."

She reaches into a jacket pocket, retrieving something and pressing it into his hands. He looks down, blinking in surprise to see one of his own pairs of leather working gloves and some safety goggles outlined in the light of a nearby gas station.

"Wh--how did you--"

"Oh, these?" Anna snorts. "Nicked them from your room months ago. You have like 15 pairs of each. Didn't even notice they were gone. You really gotta keep better track of your stuff."

"Uh...w-well..."

He struggles to respond, simultaneously impressed by his girlfriend's sneakiness and baffled as to what midnight activity in the most run-down corner of the city could possibly require these items.

And that's about when he sees approaching silhouettes of smokestacks and powerlines, backlit by moonlight and light pollution alike. A bright, artificial glow cuts through the gloom, guiding their way to the vast building.

"The electric plant," Hiccup muses. "You're not suggesting we..."

Anna's expression is devilish. "Wait and see."

As they get closer, she laces their hands together and begins to forcefully yank him along. "Okay, close your eyes."

He complies, but not without an exaggerated grunt of doubt. "Anna, are you going to feed me to a computer assembly machine so I can become a cyborg or something?"

"Psh, like I'd give the cyberenhancement companies a free test subject! You can get paid hundreds of dollars for those kind of clinical trials, yannow."

"True, true."

It feels like he's been dragged for hours (with multiple suspicious crunches beneath his sneakers) when Anna finally stops. "Okay! You can look now."

Stretching before them are rolling hills upon rolling hills of every type of scrap metal and electrical component imaginable, from circuit boards to microwave parts to dingy desktops from the '90s. Batteries and wires and hard drives probably ripe with fascinating half-forgotten, half-deleted data.

"You...you brought me to a scrapyard?" Hiccup is so in love he could cry. His fingers are itching already, wondering what wild new contraptions he could throw together.

"I did!" Anna beams. "I looked into it, and no one's working at the plant this time of night. All the lights and stuff are just for show." She blushes, looking away. "It's, uh...it's my going-away gift to you."

"So this is what the cart's for?"

"Duh! We don't have enough arms to just carry everything you'll need to make something fucking awesome. Y'know. Just like you always do."

He looks around, frozen in awe for a long moment. When reality finally kicks in, he starts spluttering.

"But--the guy who runs this place--aren't there security cameras?! And there's so much rust--what about tetanus? Is there, like...anything radioactive here?"

Anna is unfazed. "First of all, we've had our shots. Second of all, the nuclear plant is in the other industrial district. Third of all..." She pulls out a long metal rod. "That's why I brought the signal jammer you and Jack made freshman year."

"You stole that too?!"

"Well, yeah. We've already established you don't keep tabs on your doohickeys."

"Does it even still work?"

"I mean...I hope so. I sacrificed one of my dad's old work computers to find out." She scratches her head, smiling meekly. "I had no idea he still used that thing."

Hiccup flexes the fingers on his gloves, breaking into a slow smile.

Fuck it. This is their night. If he comes out with a few grease smears or mild electrical burns, so be it.

*

"I don't know, I just...this doesn't feel like that satisfying of an ending."

They're sprawled on a blanket next to what they've called Old Flatscreen TV Mountain, several drinks and a few failed gizmos later. Hiccup turns to look at Anna.

She's frowning up at the few stars visible beyond harsh industrial light, eyes as distant as the sky.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Like if our lives were a movie..." Anna gestures abstractly. "There's all these narrative loose ends no one bothered to tie up. Like--like all the time I wasted trying to get Elsa to be close with me again, just for her to run off to college 3 states away and still barely talk to me during breaks. Never actually figuring out what the hell I even did to push her away. And you..." She turns, biting her lip. "You busted your ass trying to get that sports scholarship so you could impress your dad, and it never like...amounted to anything. And you still have no idea if he's gonna cut off your tuition payments when you tell him you want to ditch getting an MBA to study lizards. There's all these unknowns and all these dead ends we went down and all this crap we haven't resolved at all. And I always thought...I don't know. I thought there'd be more finality to it when we walked across that stage and got those diplomas."

Hiccup laughs dryly. "Ah, but that's just the base expectation now, eh? Not something we're allowed to actually take any pride in."

"Sure, but like." Anna sighs. "It's kind of stupid, but...I always hoped graduating high school would feel like those coming-of-age movies. Suddenly everything makes sense and my character arc is all wrapped up and I know where I need to go next. But it's like...the older I get, the less I have any idea what's going on. It feels like someone was trying to paint a wall, and just, uh...splattered a bucket of paint on it once and called it a day."

"I don't know." Despite himself, Hiccup smiles. "Paint splatters are a lot more exciting than boring, solid-colored walls."

"Maybe." She scrunches up her face, thinking. "But it's like I get to the end of the rope and I've been so excited to get there but when I do it's all frayed and flimsy. I try to hold onto it and I barely can."

Anna turns back to the sky. "Ugh, I'm sorry. My metaphors aren't making any sense."

"No, no." He reaches over, brushing an unruly hair from his girlfriend's face. "They make perfect sense. I feel the same way."

She whips back toward him, pretty eyes shining hopefully. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah." He chuckles. "I'm always worrying about how to tell my dad I don't want to be some...high-end douchebag corporate guy, money or no. And I hate how I still care so much what he thinks about me, and I worry I'll end up regretting all the sheer time I put into impressing the man. That I'll wake up someday and realize I can never be exactly what he wants, and my whole life's just like that stupid soccer scholarship--all for naught."

It stings, watching the growing pain on Anna's face as he speaks. He knows she worries about him even more than he does.

Any demons he's battling, she's battling tenfold. On top of her own.

He wishes she'd take a load off sometimes. Not exhaust herself beyond reasonability, taking on his struggles as her own. She's far too kind and vibrant a person to be weighed down by other people's crap. Fully believing her loved ones' happiness is her sole responsibility somehow.

And it can be hard, loving someone so fiercely only to watch them love themself so little that they always always put themself last.

Well, to hell with it. He won't let her tonight.

"And I don't want to think about how much I'll miss you," he adds, emphasizing the statement carefully. "I mean...I think we did the right thing. It probably would be dumb to pick a college based on your significant other. And we wanted different environments. Had different places offer scholarship money. It's just how things play out sometimes." He lets out a breath. "But that doesn't mean I don't get jealous. Thinking about all the cool people you're going to meet and worrying you'll like them better. Worrying what I have to offer isn't as impressive anymore."

"Of course it is!" Anna scowls, offended. "It always will be."

The confidence in her voice almost puts him at ease. Almost.

"You say that now. But all my relatives and neighbors and whatnot...they're always going on about how much people change. How I won't be the same person 3 years from now, and being with my high school girlfriend won't make any sense anymore. Like two diverging lines that just get farther and farther apart as they have more experiences away from each other."

Anna's scowl deepens. "And why the hell should they get to tell us what's going to happen? We decide that. No one else. Especially not a bunch of old people who're probably just bitter about The One That Got Away and don't want 'kids these days' to be happy."

She scoots over, pressing into his side and resting her head on his chest. He drinks in her warmth, trying to simply revel in the moment without worrying about the future.

It's still so strange sometimes, being tall enough for her to burrow into him. He remembers when Anna was a giant, casually resting her chin on his hair and wrapping her arms around his toothpick waist.

"I won't leave you behind." He kisses the top of her head, relaxing as she melts further into him. "Anna, I fucking refuse. You're too important to me for me to just hit the road as soon as we both...I don't know. Get more life experiences or whatever. No reason we won't still like each other once we've seen more of the world. Like why would our preferences for whose company we enjoy randomly do a 180? Seems pretty illogical."

She's silent for a beat, nestling closer and staring at the sky. Clinging to him like an anxious lemur on a tree branch.

"I met my roommate at orientation," she says finally. "She seems nice. But, well...she was teasing me about some guy I was chatting with and of course you came up. You had to sooner or later." Anna chuckles. "I love to brag about you."

"Wow, already?" He playfully pokes her temple. "Gotta leave something to the imagination. Make everyone desperate to hear about your mysterious, faraway tech genius boyfriend."

Although she laughs, it sounds a bit forced.

"I wanted to. But my roomie started bombarding me with questions. Asking whether you were a north campus major or a south campus major. What dorm building you were in. Finally I had to admit we weren't, uh...we weren't going to the same school. She kind of, um...started laughing a little and making these passive aggressive comments like 'oh yeah, long distance always works out SO great' and stuff like that."

Hiccup stiffens.

So that's what this night was all about. It suddenly makes perfect sense--the timing, the spontaneity, the date of carefree fun nearly perfectly catered to his taste. The late night environment that felt eternal--a liminal paradise that dawn could never disturb.

A desperate plea to remind him why he loved her.

As if that was ever going to be something he needed.

"That's pretty rude," he settles for. Because it's true--Anna shouldn't ruminate over a stray insensitive comment from someone trying to nettle her. This girl isn't worth it.

"That's what I said, too. But then...well, she gets kind of quiet and apologetic, and she admits she's been feeling shitty because she had a high school boyfriend, too. And he called it quits not too long ago because he didn't like her enough to keep dating her across hundreds of miles. Although he was also rushing a frat, I think, so it probably had something to do with him wanting to...you know." Anna makes some truly obscene gestures with her hands, and Hiccup can't help but snicker.

"Anyways. She said that putting stock in high school relationships ends in heartbreak usually. Or at least it did for her and a lot of her friends. So it just got me worrying."

"So." Hiccup studies a gibbous moon as he puts the pieces of the puzzle together. "You go out of your way to plan and take me on the most epic date of my life to...convince me not to dump you?"

"Uh...yeah." Anna's cheeks flush. "I guess I did."

"Well, mission accomplished." Hiccup smirks again. "I am, in fact, not going to dump you."

"Big fan of that."

"And furthermore, I'm pretty sure I'm never going to dump you. Not when you're funny and hot and smart and charming enough that that sounds like a fucking stupid idea."

She giggles--and god, he could listen to that for the rest of his life.

After another moment of thinking, Hiccup clears his throat importantly.

"So here's the deal." He rubs her waist--a small thing, but something he's learned makes her feel a little more secure. "We could lie here until morning, fretting endlessly about our judgmental acquaintances and relatives and agonizing over whether they're right that we're doomed. Or we could put all that aside for now, say 'fuck 'em,' and continue to have the best godsdamn night of our lives. Because tonight?" He grins. "Tonight belongs to us, and I'll be damned if I let anyone else take it away."

Anna climbs on top of him, pinning him down.

"I like the second option," she says, grinning back.

"Thought you might." He leans up, giving her a lingering kiss. "Now! Where do you think we have the best shot at finding 12-by-9 circuit boards and AA batteries?"

***

...whoops, I got carried away writing this and it turned out much longer than I was planning ^^;

Took another crack at writing Established Relationship Hiccanna...and I actually really fuck with it??? Like their insecurities and issues and whatnot aren't magically solved, and Anna especially still has doubts about Hiccup changing his mind (F2 basically proved she thinks like this lol), but it's kinda nice to write them navigating their way through life after they've gotten past the whole inevitable "cannot fucking admit they like each other no matter how obvious it is to everyone else" phase. Which they'd readily stay in for years ^^; But in established relationship fics, these kids have one (1) less life problem to deal with, so...good for them!!!

I've been trying Hiccup's POV out more lately just for shits and giggles, and it's honestly not as hard as I thought. I usually favor Anna's POV (because She Is Just Like Me FR FR), but Hiccup would definitely be equally smitten. And Anna deserves someone with an actual discernible personality (sorry Kristoff lmfao) to look at her with stars in their eyes, after all she's been through ;______; And Hiccup is so fun because he's the perfect balance of Smitten Idiot and Voice of Reason (although we know he ain't always as reasonable as he thinks he is lol). Like he's one of the only people (the other maybe being Elsa) who can tell Anna "hey, this idea seems unwise" and she'll actually listen. Anyone else is like "hey, don't do The Thing" and Anna's like "actually no fuck you I do what I want." Speaking as someone who's also pretty stubborn and occasionally prone to Dumb Shit, literally the only way to talk me down is to treat me with respect and not act like you know better. If you come across as even a little condescending, I will double down on my bullshit and that is a promise XD

Yes, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and Princess Anna of Arendelle would go on dates to electronics junkyards and spontaneously screech at judgmental strangers and I would swear to this in a court of law.

Can confirm that the transition period between high school and college is turbulent af, and there's definitely a lot of general anxiety that you won't maintain friendships and relationships because (probably well-meaning) middle-aged people try to reassure you by being like "oh, high school friendships don't matter, you'll meet all your lifelong friends in college!" or something similar. The irony is that I realized I'm posting this on my old high school boyfriend's birthday...who did, in fact, dump me a few weeks before college because he didn't want to do long-distance XD Anna's unnamed roommate, I feel you girl, even if I would be less of a little shit. I actually went on my ex's socials to see what he's been up to. Apparently he's a bartender now??? Good for him honestly! Never would have expected that from him but he seems happy ❤️❤️❤️

And finally, shout-out to the "unruly teenagers having low-budget city adventures at 3 am" genre. Gotta be one of my favorite aesthetics 🌃

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

[thelazyhermits]

hey! i'm the one who asked about the length of the halloween fic, and i decided to start twst! it'll be a lower-priority game, but i wanted to let you know bc on the tutorial 10 roll i ended up going with (after way too long of rerolling bc i kept getting dupes when i got my preferred ssr), i got all of diasomnia in a row, and then ace and deuce back to back, which i thought was really funny and coincidental. guess i know what dorm the game wants me to favor!

Oh hey!! That's awesome! I hope you come to enjoy Twst as much as I have!! ^^

I actually can't remember all the SRs I saw when I was doing that first free 10 pull. I rerolled so many times because I refused to proceed with the game until I got my best boy, Jack, whom I eventually pulled after getting pretty much every other available SSR in my previous pulls, some of which I got multiple times lol I didn't care what the game said. I wanted my boy, and I made sure I got him 😂

Right off the bat, I'd recommend checking out this. It's the pinned post for an account that I often see get a lot of questions about the game, and they have masterlists that should be really helpful to you.

As far as the content gap is concerned, at this point, there really isn't a large gap between the JPN & ENG server cause ENG has been doling out new events like crazy to catch up 😂 However, there are a few events that we haven't gotten in the ENG server, and we're only getting the first part of Book 7 of the main story at the end of Nov while JPN has like 5 parts out so far for Book 7.

Anyway, you can click here to find the wiki page that shows all the Twst events for ENG & JPN. Unfortunately, by this point, ENG has pretty much already done reruns for all the events, and you can only read the stories for the events in the game if you were playing the game when those events came out, so if there was a certain event you were hoping to see, like the first Halloween one, you'll likely have to look for it on Youtube since the chances are low that it'll get another rerun in the game, although I won't say it's impossible since you really never know lol

As far as advice is concerned, I'd say save your gems for event banners, ergo the cards that are only available for a limited time while an event is ongoing. The dorm uniform SSRs will always be available in the standard showcase and in every event banner. The only banners they don't appear in are the birthday banners, which is a good thing since that means any SSR you get in the birthday banner is the one you're aiming for haha

I'd also recommend against spending your gems on LP since the 10 you get regenerates after 2.5 hours. It's better to just wait and take your time as you're progressing through the main story which will likely take a while for you since we currently have Books 1-6 and Book 7 Part 1 is coming.

Book 6 is especially brutal cause of the battles , so by the time you get there, make sure you have strong cards for Riddle/Azul/Leona/Jamil/Vil/Epel/Rook. You're gonna need them lol 😂

I can't think of anything else right off the top of my head that might be helpful, but feel free to send me another ask if you have any specific questions. I'll be happy to help! 😊

[erin-epica]

Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

[10k-moreliketheloml]

10k x Reader || Sanctuary ||

~ hope this is cute! it's also on my Ao3 account! ~

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,118

Everything was going well for once. We had been driving for a while and there had been no Z's anywhere, allowing for me to relax against 10k and take in the beautiful day. I sighed in content and closed my eyes, feeling 10 put his chin on my head and squeeze me tighter to him.

"It's so peaceful today." He murmured and I hummed in agreement.

"I wish it was always like this." I replied.

"Me too. But maybe with Murphy, that's a possibility." I smiled and turned to kiss his neck lightly before going back to my previous position, only this time sliding one of my hands into his.

"I hope so. If I survive this whole thing, I'll take more time to appreciate moments like this, where everything is just calm."

"You will survive. I promise." The way he said it made my heart flutter and I turned once more, this time staying facing him as I cupped his face in my hands.

"We both will. And then we can settle down somewhere quiet with a lot of open space, and have a family and a nice home. And we'll be together forever." I grinned and he pulled me in for a kiss, nodding to what I said.

"Exactly. That's why I'm gonna protect you. You don't have to worry about any zombies okay? I promise, I'll keep you safe." My heart fluttered again and I nuzzled my nose against his before brushing my lips with his and sitting in between his legs, my upper body laying on his as I became drowsy.

"Thank you, I'll hold you to that." I giggled and he kissed my head.

"Good. Now sleep a bit, the sun's going down anyways, you might as well get some rest." And without any other words, I fell asleep.

°•°•°

10k's POV

I smiled down at [name] as she snored softly against my chest. I meant it when I told her she didn't need to worry about zombies, from the moment I said it I knew I wouldn't make her fight them anymore. As long as I had a say, I knew I'd take on every zombie at once to keep her safe and give her her happy ending.

"I love you." I told her even though I knew she couldn't hear me. We drove for what must've been a few more hours, before pulling off the road to a small shack. Warren rolled the window down and stuck her head out.

"She asleep?" She asked and I nodded. "You stay out here with her, pick off any Z's that show up if they do, while we check the house. We'll come get you when it's safe and you can bring her to an actual bed."

"Okay." I replied simply and with that everyone headed into the run-down shelter while I gently moved [name] off of me so I could take up my position to watch for Z's.

In a few minutes I had taken down three, and it looked clear enough. I checked to make sure [name] was still sleeping, pressing a kiss to her forehead before straightening again just in time to see the group exiting the house looking pleased.

"There's canned food, bottled water, and even a working shower! The water's cold but it's still a score." Addy cheered and I grinned. "The person who lived here probably got overrun and had to leave, there weren't any Z's inside."

"I got 3 out here, but it looks clear now." I informed, crouching to get [name] awake enough to get out of the truck. "Mmm, 10k?" She breathed, and I wrapped her arms around my shoulders, sliding out of the truck and lifter her out after, her legs wrapping around my hips and my hands going to her thighs to support her. She was so light, and even though I knew it was inevitable I frowned.

"There's a nice room upstairs, the bed is big enough for at least three people. Put her up there." Warren smiled at me sweetly, like a mother, and I nodded.

"Thank you." I mumbled before entering the house. It really was nice, I had to admit. There were a few things that needed work and there was dust everywhere, but it was comfortable.

I layed [name] down and searched a few drawers until I found some pajamas. They looked like they'd be way too big for her, but at least they'd be warm and somewhat clean. I made my way back to her side and sat her up, rousing her a bit more.

"Put your arms up, baby. I'm gonna put these clothes on so you can warm up okay?" It had been getting colder and I wanted her to be safe from the cold.

"You can't." She mumbled and I gave her a confused look.

"What? Why?" She frowned and looked away.

"You'll see my body and you'll want to leave me." The words were so quiet I almost missed them. "Just like all my other friends." I grimaced.

"No no no, that's not true at all. [name], you're beautiful okay? And I'll love you no matter what your body looks like. Can I change you?" She smiled a bit at me and nodded, hugging me before pulling away and letting me get her into the other clothes.

"Thank you, 10k. Really." She said as we were laying in the bed together. Her head was resting on my chest while my arms were around her waist, keeping her against me.

"It's not a big thing, it's just the truth. I really do think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And I just want to take care of you. Besides, if anything, you're too skinny. I don't like it." I grumbled. She giggled and I smiled down at her.

"It's fine, I'd rather most of the food go to you guys. I don't even do much to help." I gawked.

"Yes you do! You've killed so many Z's, and you keep everyone's spirits up, you're amazing! Also, it worries me that you can't get the food you need. It scares me to think you'll starve and I'll lose you." I took a deep breath and she kissed my chest.

"You won't lose me." She whispered. "I'll always be with you." I made her look at me and kissed her on the lips, a warm feeling in my chest at how calm I felt with her. Like everything would be okay and that I could take on the world.

"I'll hold you to that." I said back and saw her grin before we both fell asleep, totally relaxed and safe in each other's embrace.

---

~ i hope this is good, it's definitely OOC, and a little off topic at some points, but it's cute so i hope that makes up for it! feel free to request! ~

[weeklyhumorist]

Sorry, My Impeachment Testimony Won't Include the Juicy Stuff From My Book, by Smokey the Bear

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Mr. Chairman, Ranking Member Feinstein, members of the committee. Former National Wildfire Prevention Spokesbear Smokey the Bear here. Thank you for inviting me to testify before you today. As a 75-year employee of the United States Forest Service, a one-time trusted advisor to the president, and a patriot, I appreciate the opportunity to participate in Congress’s impeachment inquiry into President Trump. I have prepared a brief opening statement.

As you all know, I have dedicated my career to educating our nation on the impact of unplanned wildfires. I’m immensely proud of the “Only YOU” campaign, an achievement that stands above all others in my oeuvre. That’s why I feel compelled to “fill in the gaps” regarding my knowledge of the president’s direct involvement in the politically-motivated attempt to withhold FEMA wildfire survivor funds…the so-called “Rakegate.” The American people deserve to know what happened, and after reading my book — which will hit shelves before the 2020 elections — they will.

I will, of course, testify today to my dealings with the president in the matter before this committee. But I can’t just share all of the details, like whether or not he once told me, “I’m going to schlong Governor Newsom on these FEMA funds” at Mar-a-Lago. I’m saving that story for the book, specifically Chapter 7: “California Gets Schlonged.”

Members of this committee, I am acutely aware of the responsibility I “bear” to reject not just Mr. Trump’s FEMA “drug deal,” but also his dangerous and ill-informed theories. His outrageous “raking and cleaning and doing things” claims threaten everything the USFS, The Ad Council, and I have worked so hard to achieve.

On the other paw, wasting my best anecdotes on this hearing threatens my ability to buy a summer home on Kodiak. No one’s going to buy my book if they just saw the good stuff on a CNN chyron, right? As my publisher told me during our press junket prep meeting, “Only YOU can prevent this book from really catching fire, Smokey.”

Still, I agreed to testify today because it’s the right thing to do, and Mitch said I had to. I do indeed have firsthand knowledge of “many relevant meetings and conversations” that the president is correct to be worried about. I will not merely “go into hibernation” after leaving my post, as the president hoped I would when he hijacked my Twitter account. I’m ready to paint a picture of the inner-workings of the Trump administration for the American people. Speaking of pictures, my book includes over 25 full-color photos. Perhaps one that features Rudy Guliani (in drag for some reason) smoking cigars and recording video birthday cards for the grandmothers of two Ukrainian timber oligarchs? You’ll have to read to find out!

Well, read or listen. Members of the committee, I’m this close to nailing down none other than SAM FREAKIN’ ELLIOTT to record the audiobook! He did a great job reading Woodsy Owl’s tell-all book about his brief time running Trump’s EPA, No More Hoots to Give. That’s a great read, by the way. We’re giving away a free copy to everyone who donates to SmokeyPAC this quarter.

Writing this book (well, dictating it to my ghostwriter) has been incredibly rewarding and liberating. Still, it feels strange not being out there in my old gig — in the schools, the National Parks, and on the airwaves — reminding folks of their accountability when it comes to preventing wildfires. I may have resigned, but an American black bear never backs down from a fight. The president’s statements don’t just put lives and property at risk. They jeopardize my life’s work. My legacy is essentially my cub, and Mr. Trump is standing directly between us. So yeah, I’m going to set the record straight. I’m just going to do it in book form, plus the speaking circuit. And maybe a few podcasts.

Anyway, I know we have eight hours scheduled for this thing. But unless you want to hear me say, “I’m sorry, Senator, I don’t recall…I’d have to check the very detailed appendix of my new book, A Betrayal Falls in the Woods” about seventy-five times, we should probably wrap this up.

Maybe we could repurpose this time to chat about my new job? I’m a lobbyist for Weyerhaeuser now! So, I guess I’ll be seeing many of you all around the Hill if your state has trees or whatever? I know you can’t accept gifts from lobbyists, but maybe a few autographed copies of my book will fall out of my laptop bag or something. I’m just kidding, don’t start another inquiry!

Sorry, My Impeachment Testimony Won’t Include the Juicy Stuff From My Book, by Smokey the Bear was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[winds--of--change]

No.561

Me: If everything happens for a reason, tell me, what is this for? Been over 3 months unemployed now... am I that unemployable? Or should I be meant to go back to Vietnam now... TELL ME

Me2: Happy Birthday btw lol must be fun having such turbulence first few days of age 29. Hallelujah

Me: 30-crisis =_=

Me2: Hey I think things are just going the way YOU wanted it, that's why no job yet BECAUSE what you desire the most FIRST is a new house, your style back. And you got it! First.

Me: True. It feels so good having a private room again, not a narrow bunk bed shared with 12 girls. Man I was down to a cold just last week or before because when living with too many people in one single space, the cold just goes around. And the moment I moved to the new place, no more cold! And I feel super fresh and healthy, probably thanks to the natural park closed by and more greens in this area with so few people.

Me2: See. You wanted this first. And that is why you got a house and all your belongings back, having all clothes (btw you have LOADS! I can't believe it, even if you wear something new every single day you can't even finish wearing all in a month because you have more than, like, 40 outfits! WTF)

Me: I am girl. What do you expect! And I am so proud of my wardrobe, which is handpicked by me by the way. None of the clothes are what is left over of my mother's belongings like what happened in the past, let's say I finally have my own identity lol I am not Mom anymore.

Me2: Yeah right =.= good luck with wearing all of those at least once in a year lol or best of luck packing all again in case you are leaving lol

Me: I am not leaving Japan! I am staying in Tokyo.

Me2: Well yeah, you have only a month left....

Me: A whole month!!!! And everything could change everything could happen! And see, I just noticed 10:10 o'clock on Emily's computer and when I checked the hour meaning for it, it means I'm undeniably super lucky! And success in career and financial future would be at my door! See, it's a sign. I am gonna find a job in Tokyo, stay and achieve my saving goals!

Me2: Work hard for it then.

Me: I will!

Me2: For now you don't, that's why I am concerned.

Me: =.= yeah...

Me2: See! You are always so full of shits.

Me: Ouch! That fucking hurts! And you are RUDE.

Me2: Can't make you face reality if I don't do so.

Me: I know reality. Have some faith in me yo.

Me2: All the time.... and yet you still crawl back here asking for my help.

Me: I didn't ask for your help.... Just want some... chit chat LOL

Me2: the time of which you should spend on job hunting if you wanna stay in Tokyo that bad under only one month deadline.

Me: Hey everyone needs a break sometimes. And I need to know what I am doing wrong during this whole job hunting.

Me2: You don't have Japanese, not even confident in Japanese, lack of work experiences too, which clearly shows in interviews and...

Me: Stop.

Me2: I thought you said you know reality. YOUR reality, to be exact lol

Me: Common I must have something...that's employable!

Me2: Like... ?

Me: Hmm.... cute and fashionable!!!!

Me2: ... ... ... ... ... ...You serious????

Me: LOL sorry I need to make myself laugh away job hunting stress lol Common... don't be serious.... it's just a job. I will find something.

Me2: Hand claps for such..... optimism.

Me: Man.... I need a job, I truly have too much time to think lol

Me2: No kidding.

Me: But on the bright side! I am so free and so free yet I don't bother him again! Maybe Love's gone. Hmm...

Me2: You said you are still happy as fuck when he just sent you a message wishing you happy birthday. And hardly believe it if he really cares or remembers, it might just be Facebook notification so he ended up sending a message out of courtesy.

Me: And so do I, send him Thank You message out of courtesy, and nothing more! I didn't go overboard or whatever. Man I was even thinking (for a mili-second only) of asking him to hire me LOL GOSH I am glad I control my lameness =.=

Me2: Mannnn don't ever talk to me again if you ever do that. We are no longer even acquaintances, I would be ashamed to have an acquaintance like that.

Me: Hey! I didn't do it! I just had a thought for a very very short time!

Me2: Might as well prepare everything, including the possibility you are leaving Japan in August no?

Me:.... that's why I prepared ticket money in my bank account today. BUUUUUT just for worst case scenario that's why I did so, like to so I'm fully prepared for whatever ahead and ready for ...whatever. It doesn't mean I won't get something in Tokyo you know! As I said, the angel said I'm undeniably lucky! I will find a job and enter visa renewal process before my current visa expires. That's for sure.

Me2: You are not young anymore dear, 29 is something, that you should think of about... long term future.

Me: Like what, marriage and kids? Look I talked to Hakun today and she is thinking of divorce because her husband likes gambling. But she feels stuck because she cannot afford to rent a new house for herself and the kid.

Me2: You are saying you have no confidence whatsoever that you will find a GOOD husband?! And all men shall end up like that?! Because if you think of other's situation and don't marry because of that, I think it just means you are "making what you see into your reality" as well, so that you could have a chance to say "I knew it! Told ya. Men are just like that!!"

Me:.... true. Matter of consciousness and mindset again, which in turn shapes thoughts and actions and then, the very reality of one's own.

Me2: Duh!

Me: Anyway.... all I am trying to say is.... I belong to Japan. Vietnam is still my home too, whenever for visits. But I would like to live in Japan. I can't find myself fit back in Vietnam anymore, I HAVE CHOSEN THIS PATH, being international being more than just... a Vietnamese, a Goldsmiths follower, a Japan-lover. Now I am all of those and MORE. And Tokyo offers me to be who I am, who I have always wanted to be and NOW being.

Me2: ...

Me: Look I have changed a lot dear. Even when I was in England, in one of the most amazing cities in the world like London, and being in Goldsmiths I was still just a small girl, not confident with English, not even speaking it, lack everything, especially self-confidence and taste, wearing Mom's clothes and so on. Yet I learnt how to make self and I applied it the moment I set foot on Japan! And I have identified this self of mine all along since then. I HAVE BUILT UP EVERYTHING, even from minus dear, yet I come to zero, and now, a PLUS. Leaving is like, smashing the whole empire I built! You don't know how hard it is, being from someone who can't even speak well a mother tongue, to someone who now speaks THREE languages. You don't know, the price I paid, from being introvert, someone quiet by nature and plain, to someone with a style, with the ability to attract interesting people, get along more easily and make friends along the way! I HAVE PAINED MYSELF A LOT TO BUILD UP AN IDENTITY SUCH THAT, I look like someone travel a lot, have a lot of friends, doing cool stuffs, having cool friends and all, to be able to move socially upwards, to break away from the countryside girl who has no opinion, who "lives to eat" lol and, who, is, MOM. I was MOM 100% remember? And she didn't know who she is even till now! But I know who I am now. I MAKE WHO I AM NOW. Yes my professor was right that 'you can never get away from yourself', time after time I am still my mother, sometime even more, sometime even less. But you know what, you can never get away from yourself BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS TRANSFORM THAT SELF OF YOURS. And I did it!

Look dear, I AM NOT GIVING UP. Till the last day of my visa, everything could change! Miracles could happen! Like how I made it to who I am now! So I will continue on this path, on building who I want to be.

And I know I will be successful.