#anyway i wish i could make that dungeon crawler i kept conceptualizing

[dreamyintersexouppy]

i made one transfem friend while doing gamedev stuff, she and i were modders in the same lil community together, we effectively dragged that community forward when it came to bigger modding efforts and the cis youtubers who made content about our stuff went on to reap the rewards. i had no hope of doing anything except appealing to those cis people which i only did effectively when i obfuscated my gender and burnt myself out trying to do things they never bothered to try yet and getting seen as revolutionary for it. idk i just wish my experience had been less networking with cis people and youtube dudes and more actually getting to make art and not feel like i was swimming in an endless dark ocean that only took from me

where were all the transfem gamedev friend groups when i was still trying in desperation to get people who Knew me to not he/him me and terrified of becoming someone they make youtube videos abt the code of... i probably would've kept making games and mods